#that feels like hate against asians to me

[theghoulboysblog]

Appreciate your post so much. Of course it's healthy to have a level of criticism with the things and people we admire and love but when I saw the racial hatred against steven and ryan, it was so hard on my heart at an Asian POC, like actually feeling like physical pain to see those things being said about Asian artists that I love. Like really, the second shit hits the fan theres finally justification for them to pull out the money hungry, controlling, business obsessed asian stereotype and no grace that it could be some artists/creatives who made a misstep in their business.

yes, it was truly so unnecessary, hateful, and disgusting. i am not an asian poc, but rather a black poc, so i cannot imagine what it must have felt like over these last few days to have to so many stereotypes and unkind words brought up simply to demonize ryan and steven. it was so disgusting.

but the way that they praised shane and babied him, saying he was “pure and kind” so he couldn’t have possibly agreed, just left such a bad taste in my mouth. the fandom being so ready to make excuses for the white founder was just so insane to me. it’s like, how is any poc supposed to feel okay in this fandom when y’all are calling the white man more pure and saying he’s unable of any wrongdoing 💀

it was such a big fuck you to all the people of color, and it was so unnecessary. nobody has to like any of the watcher boys, but to sit there and vilify ryan and steven while calling shane “king” is SO CRAZY LMAO.

#hope you’re okay anon 🫶 #sending MUCH LOVE!!! #take care of yourself #aly answers

[4thbrighteststar]

</3

#no wait listen to me. listen to me #im south asian. my grandparents were muslim. my great aunt and uncle and their children and my parents siblings are all muslim #my parents aren't. they raised us without any religion. without even our national cultural ceremonies tied to islam #dont let yourself believe for a fucking second that has nothing to do 9/11 happening two years before i was born. two years before we moved #im south asian. my dad's first name is mohammed. when we catch a flight we get to the airport two hours earlier- #to account for the time it'll take my dad to be 'routinely stopped and searched' by airport security #routinely is right lmfao. it happens every time we fly #last time i was on an american airlines flight our checked luggage ended up across the continent and took two days to get to us #(my 12yo cousin gifted us an alarm clock that made an ominous ticking noise and we couldn't shut it the fuck up- #the luggage was labeled mohammed and coming from south asia. my sibling jokes it's a wonder we got it back) #im canadian. i cried my ass off to cfa tonight bc of how touching the story of a small town coming together to help a group of strangers is #(can't help thinking that never would've happened in a bigger city? but thereby lies another tale) #and god normally i hate 9/11 stories bc it feels like two sides of my identity being pitted against each other and it makes me so uncomfy #like as a canadian i should be sympathetic towards the states and at the same time im viscerally aware of the lasting prejudiced impacts #but cfa did it so beautifully #will never get over the 'thorough search' scene. 'you will never understand'. #the lump in my throat i get every time I watch my normally distinguished and tough and coolheaded father be pushed through airport security #how resigned he is to it. how he tries to stay dignified. how scared my mom gets every time. how rough they are with him #when he usually commands respect #and yet also the pride and the lump in my throat i got today knowing it was a little canadian town that made a difference #sigh enough out of me i just have a lot of feelings #come from away #team screams

[monnn]

When you know, you know.

staring: Idol! Mingyu x Non-idol!, GN! s/o

wc: 1.4k-ish

genre: slice of life(?), FLUFF. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LOVE MINGOO, comfort-ish(?)

warnings: mentions of food, reader being sick(in love), tooth-rotting fluff.

a/n: hi omg hello, i am alive and finally out of my writer's block(ig?). i'm terribly unwell atm and i've never craved the comfort of a person as much as i do with gyu, so here's a highly self-indulgent fic! i hope you are doing okay and i just wanna say, i'm so glad to be writing again. have a great day/night and hope this fic reaches the person in need of a cutie mingoo atm! ♡

the song rec for this fic would be Margaret by LDR ft. Bleachers!!!

Mingyu's on his way back, with your favourite meal and boba. Was there a reason to get take-out? Definitely not, he really just felt like it. If you had made food, Min could convince you to have it next day. That's how it usually went and he was mostly successful. With his manager dropping him off, he heads inside the elevator and straight to your floor. Since he already knew the code to your apartment, he quietly let himself in, eyes immediately searching for you.

What he doesn't expect to find, is you sitting in the dark on a chair, curled up in one of your fav blankets with a flask coddled in your arms. Your head's supported by a chair on the dining table, mouth slightly open as you doze further away. Min quietly trots through the living room to you, slowly putting the bags down, careful not to wake you up. He adores you for a good minute, slowly lifting you up to rest in your bed. Their neck must hurt, but they keep doing this >:( he wonders to himself while carrying you.

He lets you rest while he does all the chores that you weren't able to do cause of your sickness. A few hours pass by, you wake up with Mingyu sitting by your side, barely touching you in the process of waking you up. He knew how extra sensitive you were to touch when sick, hence he decided to call out for you than kissing you to consciousness. You wake up slowly while he adjusts pillows behind for you to sit straight, he really is a nagging Asian mum in disguise. Handing you warm water to hydrate, he looks at you with all the love in him to see if you need anything from him. You catch him looking and reach for his hand, realising the love you have for him is unbelievable.

"You know love, I can't ever thank you for being so kind to me. I feel like there isn't enough of me to be so damn grateful for you." you say, lovingly gazing at the love of your life. A faint pink's spread all over his face as he nuzzles his face to your hand.

"And I'm ever so happy to be the receiver of your gratefulness, regardless of the amount. It takes two to tango I guess." he says, ever so lightly pressing his lips to your hand. After basking in each other's presence for a while, he mentions about the food he's got, which gets you outta bed in no time.

You head to the kitchen to unpack the boba, while he joins you in heating the food up. It's then you think how freeing it is, to be doing the most mundane things with Mingyu. He just seems to make the littlest of things much more better and you love that about him. A bump against your shoulder gets you back, where the food to your side is all ready to be devoured. Quickly removing the covers around drinks, you move to place them on the dining table. One where you're sitting and the other next to you. That's the thing about you guys, Mingyu never likes it when he's not next to you. He hates how all the fancy restaurants have seats across and not next to each other. But now, he gets to have a meal with you next to him and he thinks about how this is his highlight of the day. Min loves being around you and having a meal, so it's like two of his favourite things put together. You spread out the mat for the hot pan to be put on while settling down in your seat, waiting for the food to arrive. Looking at this, Mingyu hurries to place the pan down while grabbing two spoons before sitting down. Both of you look at each other, nodding in agreement to start eating. It's absolute delight running through your body and eyes for Mingyu. He loves it when you enjoy things he does for you. Raising your boba drinks to cheer, both of you devour in silence, enjoying the food and each other's presence. By end of the meal, you're much more comfortable to let Min under your skin and he's never been so much happier to be as affectionate as his heart needs. Taking the last bite, you stand up to call dibs on cleaning up since he literally did all the leftover chores. And right when you're about to get the pan, Min's grabbing you by the hand, turning you to face him. You're glad to be seeing eye-to-eye since he's on his butt and you're standing.

"What's up?"

"Can you please let me do the dishes? You're literally sick, doing more work would just worsen it."

"But Min, you did all of the chores! It's really unfair if you don't let me, you know." you say as he scoffs.

"I don't care, I love you but please let me do the cleaning."

"I love you so so sooo much too my Min, but I cannot let you do the cleaning up."

"Okay, how about we rock-paper-scissors this?"

"Alright. On the count of three, two, one!"

And to his luck, you throw a rock while he throws a paper. The council has decided and you accept your fate, slowly moving away from the pan.

Right at the moment, Mingyu pulls you in a hug, nuzzling further to your middle while almost sounding like a puppy adjusting to fall asleep. You wrap your arms around him, leaning down to lay your head on his. But, you're suddenly pushed away just to be pulled back onto his lap, while he holds you dearly and continues to be adorable. Again, you have no choice but to stay limp for him to recharge himself. It's hard not to admit how secure and loved you feel in Mingyu's big beefy arms, you kiss him on the side of his head impulsively to convey the same. That loosens his hold on you, him whining on how you always catch him off-guard with your actions. Now, there's nothing but giggles filled in your living room, both of you so knee-deep in love and into each other cause when you know, you know.

-------------------------

a/n: comments and feedback are highly appreciated! hope you enjoyed reading this work of mine, thank you! x

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen fic #seventeen x reader #seventeen au #seventeen fluff #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop fic #svt fluff #svt mingyu #kim mingyu #svt kim mingyu #kim mingyu x reader #kim mingyu x you #mingyu x reader #mingyu x you #kim mingyu fluff #mingyu fluff

[boldlygoingtohell]

In a weird way, as a Jew, I can kinda take Normal Antisemitism™️.

I mean, I understand where right-wing racists are coming from when it comes to their antisemitism. At the end of the day, theirs just comes from fear, replacement theory, etc… It’s easily identifiable. 2+2=4. Yea its shitty, but I see how they got from A to B and it’s a straight line.

But left-wing antisemitism?? Like, how does that happen? I thought the left was about supporting minority groups, encouraging them to speak and be heard. But all I’m seeing from leftists these days (I myself being super fucking liberal, left, etc…) is just waves and waves of antisemitism. And yes it has to do with Israel, but these people are incapable of criticizing the Israeli government without going “all Jews are responsible!” in the process. It's infuriating.

Are all the the world’s Jews, millions of which live OUTSIDE of Israel, now responsible for Israel’s actions? I'M a stupid American! I’ve never even BEEN to Israel, much less know the intricate details of a geo-political conflict whose complexities go willfully unlearned by armchair activists in favor of yelling in all caps for 140 characters.

But what really gets me, and I mean REALLY get me about the whole situation, is the hypocrisy.

Remember how awful it was when we saw waves of Islamophobic hate crimes after 9/11, American Muslims with no ties to al-Qaeda being targeted for the faith those terrorists claimed to represent?

Or do you remember standing against the wave of anti-Asian hate crimes that was spurned on by COVID falsehoods? The “China virus” as Trump so eloquently put it? You remember being pissed about that, not blaming Asian Americans but standing with them against hate?

And hell, I’ve heard there has been a rash of Islamophobic attacks again because of the Israeli-Gaza conflict. That’s fucking awful, and I will stand against that bull shit because it does not belong here, end of story.

But now there are also antisemitic attacks, hate crimes, being perpetrated around the world. And who are the perpetrators now? The left that stood against everything else. There's no widespread ally-ship for Jews like me. There's no sweeping social media campaign, no catchy hashtag, no ice bucket challenge.

Why am I allowed to be condemned for what a country on the other side of the world is doing, when I have nothing to do with it? Why can I have the finger pointed at me when I don’t want the fighting in the first place? Why must Jews be allowed to be the target of this ire when it's already been decided that other ethnicities/religions don't deserve it either?

Now, I am PROUD to be Jewish; it is my culture, in my heritage, in my literal blood. It is in my genetics, my bones, my spoken language, it is in the holidays I celebrate, the philosophies I live by.

But it is also in the generational trauma of my mother insisting I have a passport as a young child, not because we were traveling, but in case we had to flee. It is in her inherent distrust of the government; a card-carrying Democrat all her life, she would always remind me, "if you don't think the government can't turn on you, you're kidding yourself." It is her constant reminders that as a Jew, our assimilation is conditional, our acceptance is political. I felt these, but never as strongly as she did. Not until now.

I am third generation American, and yet I feel like an outsider in the only country I have ever known. People who I thought understood, who were my friends, who marched with me against the injustices of the world, are now calling after Jews to answer for Israel's actions.

I say I don't want the violence to persist and I'm told that I'm, "one of the good ones". I'm told hurt Israelis don't deserve sympathy because, "all Jews are rich anyway, right? Who cares." I tell them my fears about the rising antisemitism and wearing my star of david necklace out. I'm told, "it doesn't matter, you're white anyway."

For the first time in my life, the racists aren't just some crazy KKK members. They're not just Nazis marching around with beer bellies and ill fitting helmets. It's not just some screeching street preacher who claims I'm going to hell after he caught the glint off my star of david necklace. If needs be, I can kick and punch my way out of those. They're just idiots. Isolated, concentrated incidents. It'd be a good story to tell at a bar the next day though a gap-toothed smile and a sling on my shoulder.

But now, both sides are coming after me and my people. Now, it's not just idiots who have all of their views backwards; it's people I thought I could trust to have my back, to go down swinging with me against those Nazis. Right. Left. It's everywhere. There's no escape.

It's coming from all sides. It's coming from social media platforms, from dinners with friends, from posters on street lamps.

I live in one of the safest, most Jewish neighborhoods in America, and for the first time in my life I am truly scared.

#jumblr #antisemitism #judaism #jewish #I'm just so tired of it all #I wasn't an anxious person before this #racism #long post I guess #can we go back to the days of punching Nazis? #life was simple

[jade-len]

i adore how mxtx sorta flipped the idea on the whole top/bottom thing with svsss, and just BL relationships in general.

making bingqiu very open to switching, not making the "bottom" super feminine and actually leaning more to the handsome side compared to the "top", how luo binghe is manipulative sensitive and cries easily, etc. one of the main themes in svsss is literally about sexuality (and possibly even about gender roles).

as a queer asian man myself, i absolutely despise the "yaoi archetype" and it was one of the reasons why i avoided consuming BL media. hell, years ago when i first saw heavens official blessing, i mentally groaned and went, "ugh, let me guess, the bottom is super feminine and innocent, while the top is masculine and experienced." of course, that's not the case now, but it's disappointing how that thought was there purely because of the god awful way fetish-y media portrays homosexual people and couples. because, believe it or not, we are not assigned male/female typical gender roles just because one likes to top/bottom (and even then, it's not even like that! some people have preferences, sure, but it's not so strictly "i'm top/bottom")

so, while i absolutely LOVE the english novel designs (especially luo binghe's cute curly hair, gongyi xiao, etc, and personally believe a lot of the takes from the western artist on the designs are an improvement), i am greatly saddened by people subconsciously assigning shen qingqiu as someone more delicate and feminine and luo binghe as someone super masculine and muscly. like, if you're going to have luo binghe depicted as the western design (i believe this stems from binghe being applied to more western ideals for men, and, admittedly, i actually really love his design), at least don't make shen qingqiu feminine and delicate? don't have his appearance play into the stupid yaoi thing?

i get that people have different takes on svsss, especially how the western version depicts it. but, people just... seem to very over exaggerate the top/bottom roles when it comes to bingqiu (again, these two are, canonically, VERY open to switching).

it's weird, it's uncomfortable, and it comes across as, "so, who wears the pants in the relationship?"

so, can we please have more canonically handsome shen qingqiu? canonically beautiful and pretty boy luo binghe (they literallly state that binghe looks EXACTLY like his mom, su xiyan! while a more handsome woman, is still very beautiful!! plus it is stated several times that binghe is slim, and that shang qinghua made him that way!) or at the very least, a BL couple who actually look like normal people (ok thats a little hard considering binghe is literally supposed to be perfect) and not just a stupid fetishized version of themselves.

and no, i'm not saying that queer men shouldn't be feminine or men who are feminine shouldn't be in a relationship with guys who are masculine, etc.

TLDR: please stop twinkifying shen qingqiu and going against what mxtx defied for us queer men (the stupid yaoi roles). and for the love of whoever you believe in, do NOT think that i hate the english design or people's personal interpretation of characters, i just hate the subconscious assigning of gender roles to bingqiu and how media portrays and fetishizes LGBTQ+ relationships in general.

edit: also i love teardrew's (check them out on twitter!) interpretation of shang qinghua. while i do really like the the eng novel design's tiny scared hamster vibes, teardrew's version just radiates "up to no good, paranoid but suspicious looking bitch" rat man and i love it so so so much. i'm not gonna repost their art bc i don't know how they feel about that but perhaps you can search up "svsss designs" on here, you'll see it pop up eventually lol.

edit 2 (1/16): i just saw someone reblog a post (that im pretty sure was referring to this one because, well, if you saw it i think it'd be a little clear kahxj) that was about how bingqiu switching and completely eschewing traditional top/bottom dynamics was a fandom idea or smth? so now i'm wondering, since i swear i remember that they were open to switching, but it's just that sqq preferred to bottom and/or was just a little too lazy to top. plus, sqq is a pretty unreliable narrator who says he doesn't want something one moment and then he does. how could he say no to bingbing? esp if he seems to wanna try bottoming too. perhaps i'm mixing things up though, idk? so if anyone can find that passage that says he only and strictly wants to bottom or whatever please show me! but i think the point of this post still stands haha (i wanted to ask about it, actually, but when i clicked on the og post's user it turned out that they blocked me ? so that was a little surprising oops. hey if ur somehow reading this, im... sorry for making you want to block me bc of this post? akdhxjj)

#JOIN THE 'STOP TWINKIFYING SQQ' GROUP #did i make sense? i have no clue i just wanted to rant about this #i really pulled a cucumber bro there huh #this also applies to GL #thinking about it more #there should be trans men and women bl and gl #and not in a fetishy way #of course luo binghe is still the big strong protag and taller than sqq but come on #i dont believe luo binghe is a twink exactly?? maybe?? but just feminine in a historical chinese male ideals way #for edit 2: #i was just saying how it made me happy that mxtx didn't follow the yaoi archetypes and how i lov her for it <3 #never said bingqiu was never done before and COMPLETELY flipped it over skdhjx #but i do believe that bingqiu did a good job providing variety and such :) #same goes for mxtx's other works as well i love her stuff sm #svsss #mxtx svsss #the scum villain's self saving system #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #luo bingge #shen yuan #luo bingmei #bingqiu #luo binghe x shen qingqiu #danmei

[snowviolettwhite]

I just need to rant about the antisemitism in leftist spaces and the erasure and re-writing of Jewish history and heredity from people who claimed to be for marginalized and oppressed people. Because I have no where to let it out. I feel betrayed by the leftists and libels, like I can no longer trust them or feel safe around them, they claimed to care about me and Jewish people but they lied and are out for violence.

You can be for a free Palestinian without antisemitism. Some people are being disgusting with their hatred for Jewish people and wanting the annihilation of the only Jewish state. You can be against corrupt governments but innocent people shouldn't suffer.

People are using what is happening as an excuse to be vocal about their antisemitism. What is more upsetting is the fact the people who consider themselves goodhearted and for the oppressed being disgusting to Jewish people and refusing to see them as human than the right wing conservatives. Because at least I know they are dangerous and they are not hiding behind fancy words and trying to erase and rewrite Jewish history and identity.

The only reason Jewish people are considered "white" is because for thousands and thousands of years the been forced to leave their homes, forced to convert, be raped or be murdered. Another reason is to erase the historical oppression which has been going on for over three thousand years.

Jewish people have not even been considered white for hundred years and depending on where you live in the world Jewish people are still not considered white. In their legal documents it was literally listed that they were Jewish, not Russian. My parents are not even old, they are only in their early 50s. My family is from Soviet Russia and immigrated to the USA in the 1990s. My parents were not considered white in Russia, they would sometimes experience hate crimes and bullying because of their Jewishness multiple times a day. One of the reasons my parents moved to the United States was because it was one of the safest places for Jewish people. After the collapse of the soviet union the violence and antisemitism was a lot worse.

Your blatant antisemitism in the free Palestinian movement is scaring Jewish people away from it and the from left. Fyi, after Black Americans, Jewish Americas are the largest group to vote democrat and be involve in activism according to statistics and history. People are not calling Black American people or Native American people white or mixed even though Christian Europeans did similar things to those groups as well.

Frankly, I personally feel conflicted when I have to check white in a box because it means European descent, my family has no European ancestry. It is most Middle Eastern, West Asian and North African.

Also, we can talk about how Christian Europeans stole the term Caucasian. The actually Caucasus region is in West Asia and Eastern Europe.

Also I want to state Judaism in a ethnoreligion. People who convert to a different religion can still experience antisemitism. People who have Jewish ancestry but raised as a different religion can still experience antisemitism. Non practicing Jewish people can still experience antisemitism. You can change religion but you can not can your ethic background and your family history.

More than one group of people can be indigenous to a certain place.

Jewish people can not talk about just being Jewish without antisemitic comments, recently saw someone claim an anti-Jewish protest was actually a pro-Palestinian protest despite the the leader of the event literal said it was an anti-Jew protest. A pro Palestinian group wanted to hold a protest at the Holocaust Museum and the antisemitism has been on the rise for years.

My grandparent are Holocaust survivors my grandpa was almost killed by a Nazi in his hometown twice, my grandma almost died from the same thing the killed Anne Frank, I had family that was buried alive.

It has not even been hundred years since the holocaust happened, so stop claiming their is such a thing as Jewish privilege. Jewish people are still being murdered and bombed and all these terrible things for being Jewish.

#jewish history #antisemitism #jewish #leftist antisemitism

[itstokkii]

Now that the anthology is released, please check it out!! A lot of my friends, both writers and artists, put a lot of work into their pieces, and please make sure to follow their work as well!

However, I'll also take this time to explain why I left the @hws-anthology project.

Before I begin, I must clarify that this is not a callout post, that is not the intention. Rather, it's to clear up and explain the situation for those in the server that saw the aftermath and were confused as to what happened and why I left.

I joined the server at around mid to late February as an artist with the intention of highlighting and promoting the two countries that make up my identity: Uzbekistan and South Korea. I had also joined as I had always wanted to be part of a big project like an anthology, and I wanted to see how it would go.

By August, I had made and finished my pieces so they were ready, and no problems occurred until January 1st. At this time, I had begun a conversation about Korean history and culture. One of the people in the server asked about whether they, a plus sized foreigner, would be stared at in Korea as that was their deciding factor for travelling there. My response was that this may have been the case a few years ago, however this attitude has changed over the years among Koreans as more foreigners regularly visit Korea, and that society is more accepting of bodies that do not fit the standard. And at the most extreme, Koreans have higher standards for nationals compared to foreigners, so foreigners are less likely to be judged by East Asian beauty standards.

However, the owner of the server had expressed firm disagreement and insisted that, from their experience of going to Korea and Japan, that people will stare. I had brought up that as an ethnic Uzbek and a Muslim, a visible minority, neither has my community or I experienced such lengthy staring, if not during the early 2000s when foreigners were first beginning to come to Korea. And even through the spikes of terrorism and following Islamophobia in the mid 2010s, hate crimes, let along staring, was not a common reaction to or against the community, despite the worldwide reaction of terrorism being conflated to people like me that are visibly Muslim.

(in these screenshots, pink = the one who asked the question, blue=the server owner, purple = my friend, orange = third party(general), red, purple = third parties(individual users)

They insisted they were trying to help, as they were "coming from a country where staring is rude," implying that staring is normal and not rude in Korea.

At that point, they had attempted to "shut down" the conversation because we were "both right," and that I "didn't really understand what [they] were saying or where [they] were coming from."

As I tried to reiterate that as an Uzbek Muslim born and living in Korea as a Korean national, and as someone who has lived in Seoul and less populated regions of Korea, has seen the different reactions by Koreans, they instead opted to firmly say that they weren't continuing the conversation, insisted that we can both be right from our different perspectives, but that theirs was more helpful as a non-asian.

At this point, I expressed my discomfort with someone who is non-asian and has never experienced living in Korea, only as a traveler, speaking over my voice as a naturalized Korean citizen who was born and raised in Korea as a visibly ethnic and religious minority, and even insisting that my advice was lesser compared to theirs.

They replied by saying we both had to "agree to disagree" and that they didn't want to undervalue my opinion or upset me(despite my actual feelings of utter distraught), despite repeating again that they believed their advice to be more helpful. They said that if I did want to continue, I'd have to do it privately because it wasn't helpful to "duke it out in public," and ended the discussion by disabling me from being able to text in that discord channel for a day, and no longer being able to access that channel.

I was left speechless and distraught by this whole interaction. Not only did I feel that I was being talked over by someone who has had no lived experience in Korea to see the trends and beauty standards change along the years, and even placing their advice as "more helpful," but that they had also muted me from speaking up for myself in the channel, effectively placing me in a virtual "timeout." I felt like I was being treated like a young child from the way I was being told to "agree to disagree" to the way I was constantly shut down and had my voice ignored, to the eventual timeout where they muted me from the channel for a day.

And to me, it was also interesting to see them talk to others in the other channels like nothing happened while I was the one crying and shaking uncontrollably from being denied a place to speak and be heard, from having my lived experiences perceived as "lesser than."

As much as I didn't want to leave the server, I thought it was the better choice because as much as I wanted to promote Uzbekistan and Korea through my art, I realized that it shouldn't have to cost me my mental health to do so. The next day, I left a message as to why I was choosing to leave, and left.

Elif Harris's summary of Said's Orientalism: "The very purpose of Orientalism is to take control of the Orient and take away from it any ability to speak for itself." I quoted this because at its core, the way I was being treated was orientalist in nature, in the sense that the server mod continues to speak over me, a Korean citizen born and raised in Korea, when it comes to advice about Korean society, and then pushes it by emphasizing that their advice was more helpful, while also refusing to listen to me and trying to quell the conflict by repeating that both of us were right, and that we should agree to disagree. And, finally, they time me out like a child and blocks me from speaking up and standing up for myself. Know that I do not make accusations out of thin air because I'm feeling bored.

However, it didn't stop there. According to a few mutuals, my message was quickly taken down by the server owner, who then prevented people from using the channel I had the conversation in(misc-serious) the day prior. A friend of mine tried to repost it so that others would be able to see my message, to which she was muted from texting to all channels and using the voice channel for a week. Others began to question this, and I had heard a few people left the server due to the obnoxious level of muting and the fiery comments by the server owner as they defended their actions as us having a "normal disagreement" and that my message was deleted for being "immature."

After a little while, my friend was also placed in "timeout" for a week.

Due to this, Green relayed my friend's message on her behalf, and then left, with Red following as well, citing how the server became "oddly toxic."

To those of you who reached out and sent me kind messages, thank you so much! You didn't have to, but you felt the need to reach out anyway and even that gesture was truly grand to me, and comforted me as the shock still remained with me the next day.

As for the fandom, I have said it before at the beginning that the intention is not to be a callout post or a post about "drama" or "tea"—do not call it that. Asides from explaining my sudden departure from the anthology weeks before its release, it is also to ask the fandom a few very important questions:

"Why is it the norm for people to speak over others who have lived experiences in a particular place?"

"Why are we invalidating or ignoring their experiences and instead giving the power to speak about a region to someone with minimal interaction or knowledge about it?"

And lastly,

"Why is the fandom so comfortable with this?"

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

#hetalia #hetalia fandom #hetalia anthology #hws #hetalia world stars #hws anthology

[pensbridge]

I think the view that the Bridgerton women have to be some evil witches and to make a point on your personal stance, you must pit their faults against each other, acting like one is an angel and the other has manipulative motives is just WRONG on so many levels.

Marina tried to trap a man and she said some horrible offensive things to Penelope, who did nothing wrong at that point.

Marina was an alone pregnant woman, driven to desperate measures in an attempt to protect herself, AND she was an 18 year old who thought that she was mature and used her words against her cousin who she felt couldn't understand in her times of stress.

Eloise sticks her nose into other people's business and she was also getting herself into trouble seeing the worker at the print shop.

Eloise is characterized as headstrong, so thinks she knows best. She is 19 and teenagers think they can do, say, and know everything more than anyone else.

Penelope is manipulative. She's just bitter and she could have handled the situation better. Why didn't she?

Penelope is a 19 year old, who didn't know who to turn to for help (at 17), so tried to take matters into her own hands. She's someone who we know has difficulty speaking up so it makes sense her inability to do so as she tried to tell Colin.

Edwina is so dumb. How could she not see what was right in front of her face? She's wrong for going forward with Anthony when she did not know anything that was happening between them. Unknowing, she's keeping them apart; I hate her!

Blame the writers, blame the producers; I don't know. This one is crazy to me how someone who did nothing wrong gets blame as if this plot called for her to be some conniving mastermind. guess 2 South Asian women of color can't be built up. Also she is 18!

See a pattern? These are teenagers! They are naive and in belief that that know more! Everyone is this universe is morally wrong at times. Everyone does things based on their personal beliefs at the time and individual motivations. Everyone has been selfish. That's what makes them humanly written.

Also as a note, the way female characters are written on this show seems to be based on an interest in complicated female relationships and how they can break apart but come back together, while having no contrary feelings to love toward one another.

-Edwina and Kate

-Eloise and Penelope

-Penelope and Marina

(I see it as there can be fights; there can be jealousy; there can be betrayals, but these in-universe characters would not hate the other the way some fans feel angry for them).

#complex female characters #ppl expecting 19 year olds to make perfect decisions 🤯 #bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #penelope featherington #edwina sharma #marina crane #marina thompson #peneloise #sharma sisters #women of bridgerton #character analysis #character take #kate sharma #kanthony #polin #bridgerton discourse #shondaland #rants

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I would really like to know how and why some of my fellow Brits have absorbed the whole "if none of us were any different (language/culture/identity) we would all understand each other better and it would be great" like my bro has said before that he thinks it would be better if only one language exists (I don't think he cares which one) I'm just ?????????? But we can try to understand each other without being the same?????

It's a dominant culture thing. A well-meaning, left-leaning one, but a dominant culture thing. This is a view held by people who don't feel any particular connection to their own culture or language, because it's dominant - it's 'default' and therefore universal and unremarkable.

This means they can't relate to the idea of belonging to your own cultural unit/sub-group. BUT:

It also goes hand in hand with being well-meaning, and left-leaning. They come from a dominant culture - meaning, one that gets imposed on others a lot, which they don't like. So they reject the notion of borders and nationhood and that, because to them, that's a negative, right wing, oppressive concept. It's in the name of nationalism that all the oppression happens; so nations are bad, right? Drawing divisions is bad, right? Dividing ourselves rather than all getting along is bad, right?

(Most famous example of this, by the way, is the song "Imagine". John Lennon was, for all his many and varied flaws, a well-intentioned man, who fell in love with an Asian woman and got subsequently FLOODED with racist abuse for it (as did Yoko Ono). He wrote "Imagine" partly as a response to that. No religion, no borders, no nations... no divisions to hate each other over. Just harmony and love.)

Seems nice, doesn't it?

But it ignores what everyone in a non-dominant culture knows and understands - that there's a difference between division and diversity, and that a single centralised authority ruling over all is Bad, Actually. People's needs go unnoticed. If you belong to a marginalised outgroup of some form, nationalism can have a great many positive benefits, because it's defending your culture and right to exist and giving you a voice that is otherwise lost. Why should we have a single homogenous culture? It'll never happen, regardless - that's not how humans work. Culture is literally the shared set of norms and values in a group. That will always adapt and change wherever there's a mass of people. And that is a good thing, because different perspectives are a good thing.

In fact, with regards to language, I always think a three-tier structure is what we need. I'm actually not against the concept of a lingua Franca, be it Esperanto or anything else. It would indeed be highly useful to have a global language for communication. But specifically for global communication - within a nation/cultural group/etc, you have the one(s) that's native to you and helps define you as a people, and then at a local level you have your dialect that unites you as neighbours. To me, for a healthy society, you need all three of those. (I have similar thoughts about currencies and economies but that is irrelevant here.)

Anyway, those are my personal thoughts, obvs

#asks #linguistics

[ya9amicide]

Redamancy [BTS]

chapter one

♡ info ♡ k-pop masterlist ♡ next chapter ♡

summary: Hybrids were accepted in society to a certain degree. To some, they are for entertainment. Used as sex and money tools. To lock up and abuse whenever and however they please. Something to have control over. To others, they are companions. Just like regular animals are used for therapy or simply companionship, hybrids are too.

To the rest, they are just like everyone else. Someone with their own life who deserves the same freedoms as your everyday John or Jane Doe. Wren is one of these people. She hates the idea of owning a hybrid. She has nothing against those who own them for medical or companionship reasons. Just the rest.

But, when a ragtag pack of seven mismatched hybrids somehow ends up in the woods behind her home, she takes them in and does the one thing she never thought she would do. Own them. But, she also does something she didn't even think was possible. She fell in love with each and every one of them.

pairing(s): ot7 x ot7, ot7 x oc

warnings: none

Most hybrids come from Asian countries because of the ethereal beauty they possess. For most, that is the only asset that keeps them alive. The way most of these hybrids end up in other countries is if they are sold to someone and brought there. Now, the entire world has hybrids mixed into its population.

Being a writer, I always get asked why I haven't written anything about hybrids. For a fantasy writer, it's like the jackpot of writing material considering they actually exist and all the information I would need is right at my fingertips if I want it to be.

It's just something that never sat right with me. I don't know everything and the only way to know everything is to speak to one myself. I don't own a hybrid. I won't own a hybrid. I have nothing against people who own them as long as they are treating them with care. But, I just don't feel comfortable interrogating someone for the purpose of a story.

Hybrids have very unique, very personal aspects to their lives that other people don't have. It would be like asking the deepest most personal questions about someone's life. It's unfathomably uncomfortable.

Luckily, I can escape the demands for hybrid content when I'm teaching. Teaching Greek mythology to college students has its perks in that regard. Which, leads me to where I am now, wrapping up my lecture for the day.

"Alright everyone, don't forget your homework for the weekend." Some students groan at the back of the room. I stand from behind my desk, walking around to the front where I lean against it with my hip. "Yes, yes, I know. Just be thankful you get a whole weekend for it, your other professors probably wouldn't be so nice. Now, any questions?"

Two hands raise in the air and I call on the first one to come up. "How many sources did we need to cite again?"

"At least three," I say. "You can use more if you'd like, I have no issue with that. However, I hope I don't need to remind you which types of websites aren't credible sources?"

Everyone shakes their heads and I nod, calling on the next person. "Will there be any time to come in to ask questions about our papers before Monday?"

"To come in, no. Unfortunately not. However, if you'd like you can email me with any questions you have or just send me a draft and I can read it for you and give you feedback that way. I will try to get back to you asap if I can. Just please do not email me Monday morning or late Sunday night as I will be asleep and it will be too late for you."

When I finish speaking everyone shuffles in their seats. "Any more questions?" When nobody else speaks up, I lean upright from my position in front of my desk. "If that's all then you are all free to go. Have a good weekend." I receive goodbyes from almost every student as they leave. Once the last one does, I shuffle all of my belongings together and leave the room, locking the door.

On my way home, it starts to rain. It's been in the forecast all week but it was only supposed to be a slight drizzle. This, however, is a torrential downpour. Pulling into my driveway and parking, I brace myself to make a run for it. There's no way I won't get drenched.

Walking inside, I toe off my shoes and drop my things by the door before going upstairs to change into warm and comfy clothes for the evening. Walking into the kitchen for food, I pass the large, sliding glass doors that lead to my backyard and the woods behind my house.

Cereal for dinner sounds good. With a bowl of dry cereal in one hand and a glass of milk in the other, I make my way to the living room. On the way, I pass by the glass door again. Lighting strikes, lighting up the yard and the woods in the distance. In the treeline, I almost swear I can see an animal. It's not super big, but it's not small either. Surprisingly, even with the woods bordering my house, not many animals make their way out. so, seeing one now is slightly odd.

I set my food down on the coffee table and move back to the kitchen, making a plate of food for...whatever is out there. If it's in the woods in a storm like this, it must be hungry. Sliding open the glass door, I set the plate down on the porch under the awning and move back inside where I sit on the couch with my own food and the tv playing in front of me.

I'm around two episodes into the show I was watching when I hear footsteps on the back porch. They're small but loud enough for me to hear through the rain which has settled down into a soft drizzle. Standing, I make my way to the door, trying to keep my steps light and my posture open so whatever is out there doesn't feel threatened by me.

When I'm close enough to see what it is, I find a German Shepherd right before it shifts and a man is left in its place. My hand reaches out for the door handle when he sees me. His eyes widen and he scrambles to pocket all of the food and make a run for the woods.

I quickly open the door trying to stop him. "Wait, please! You don't have to go." He freezes in his steps, halfway off the porch. "I- I can give you more food if that isn't enough. And some water too if you want?" He's thin and pale and shaking like a leaf where he stands. "Please?" My voice is soft, I'm afraid if I speak too loud he'll run away. "I just want to help."

It feels like we stare at each other for hours before he nods his head, barely enough for me to see but it's still a nod. "Okay, okay that's good," I say and lead him inside. "Let me get you a towel so you can dry off, you must be cold." I don't wait for him to respond before I rush off to get it. When I come back, he's in the same spot I left him.

"Here," I hand him the towel and watch as he wraps it around himself. Slowly, his shivering starts to calm down. "Do you have any preferences?"

He looks at me strangely, head tilting to the side. The ears on the top of his head flop to the side softly, the fur wet. "To eat? Is there anything in particular you want? Anything I should avoid?" He seems to take a minute to process what I asked him before he slowly shakes his head. "Okay. You can um...you can come wait in the kitchen while I get you something if you want."

He timidly walks in behind me and watches everything I do. I decided on soup. Hopefully, the warmth from the food would make him feel better. "Is it just you?" I ask timidly.

"No," he says softly after some hesitation.

"Are- are they close? Whoever you're with?"

"Yes."

I pause what I'm doing. Maybe I should make more soup..."How many of you are there?" How much food am I going to need to make?

He shifts uncomfortably. "Seven. Including me."

"Do they want to come in? You can invite them if you want." I avoid looking at him, continuing to make more food.

"What?" He sounds surprised and wary.

"Only if you want. I mean," I stop and chuckle slightly, "seven versus one? If I were to try anything, which I won't, I think you all have the advantage. Don't you think?"

He waited for a few minutes, probably trying to see if I was pulling his leg. "Okay." He slowly makes his way to the sliding door, I can feel his eyes on me, keeping me in his sight. Leaving the door open, he shifts back into a German Shepherd and lets out a loud howl towards the forest. Anything else beyond that, I don't hear because of the volume of the storm raging outside. It was around 15 minutes before he came back inside, several pairs of footsteps shuffling in behind him.

I freeze, gently putting down what was in my hands before slowly turning to face the group of hybrids in my home.

#𐙚 sfw ! #bts #poly bts x reader #hybrid bts #poly bts #bts x oc #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimim #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

[thebroccolination]

People Think Krist Is Homophobic (but He Isn’t)

[TW: discussions of homophobia, death threats, "the rape filter joke", etc.]

Last September, I made a thread about The Whole Krist Thing, and I'd like to make a version here on Tumblr as well.

NOTE: My being a queer fan of Krist doesn’t override the feelings or opinions of other queer people. I fully understand that time on this planet is limited and you don't need to exert precious energy into researching an actor. The reason I'm making this is to provide context for people who are new to the fandom or just wondering why Krist is known as homophobic.

- Why I Made the Twitter Thread -

As a queer international fan living abroad, my understanding of Thailand, Thai culture, and Thai language is extremely limited. Like most of us, I rely entirely on translations, both official and fan-made.

After watching SOTUS for the first time in 2020, I saw English-speaking fans claiming that Krist Perawat, the actor who played Arthit, was homophobic. And it wasn't just one or two people saying it. It was dozens. Hundreds. That called for some research. I loved Arthit, and Krist's empathetic portrayal of him didn't mesh with the angry guy in the Instagram photo I was seeing passed around.

I'd made a number of queer Peraya fans on Twitter, so I went to them individually and asked, "What's this about Krist being homophobic?" As queer fans who were knowledgable and openly fond of Krist, I wanted to hear their side of things.

They sent me links and photos and videos and translations that thoroughly explained how Krist's reputation for being homophobic had gotten so out of control. The problem: those things weren't compiled in one place, and they were all on Twitter where the Asian Peraya fandom is most active. Interfans, meanwhile, took the worst of everything they could find and compiled it into contextless videos for Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, etc. Since the vast majority of Krist's fanbase is spread across Asia and many of them don't engage with the international fandom, it's no wonder to me that the homophobia thing has become so ubiquitous over the years.

It's a paradox where, in order to see the evidence of Krist's allyship, you kind of have to be a fan already. Or you have to know which keywords to use to navigate Twitter's nightmare of a search function (I know, Tumblr is worse). While I made that thread, I was regularly texting Peraya I knew things like, "Do you know where that one interview from 2019 is?" or, "Did you take a screenshot of the marriage equality post he made last month?"

The thread was difficult to make, and I'm a fan! What I know of Krist, I know because I've been a fan for three years and I have access to information that fans who have been here much longer can find.

I also procrastinated on making it for ages. I knew the amount of vitriol people hold against him, and I just wanted to enjoy my time in fandom quietly without calling waves of anger and hate to my carefully curated little corner of sunshine.

Then Krist was in a car accident.

And even though he was reportedly driving safely and slowly, Thailand is notorious for its poorly maintained roads and a high number of traffic accidents. Only months after receiving his first driver's license, Krist's car flipped upside down, and he had to reassure fans from the hospital that he was physically all right, just shaken.

Meanwhile, some international fans thought it was funny.

And that's when I started making the thread.

So, with all that said, let's start with Krist's allyship, because I know most of us agree that that's the bare minimum for an actor working in the BL industry and profiting off the queer community.

- Acts of Allyship -

In the early days of their SOTUS fame, Krist and Singto were interviewed about the LGBTQ+ community.

Acceptance and equality is something that the LGBTQ community still struggles to achieve up to this day. But both Singto and Krist believe that this should not be the case. “They are just humans. They are like me, and they are like everyone,” Krist claims. Furthermore, he mentions that we should all be given the freedom to love anyone we want to love. “It’s just natural,” he says.

“They don’t have to understand now,” Singto says, referring to those who can’t grasp same-sex relationships. “One day, when they find their true love, they will realize that love is the same no matter the gender.” Krist adds, “Gender is not relevant when it comes to love. But in case some people still don’t understand this in time, what’s important is that we all give due respect to each other at the end of the day.”

He's also educated himself in colors representative of the LGBTQ+ community.

When Krist and Singto attended an award ceremony for their photoshoot in the gay magazine Attitude, Krist shared a sentiment that he gave to a queer friend of his. "If no one accepts you, you can stay with me, because I accept you for who you are." [Paraphrased]

Despite Thailand's current government leaning on BL series as a new soft power, it's still very conservative, and its people are to this day fighting to see equal marriage recognized.

Krist often adds his voice to this fight on Instagram, specifically as someone who works in the BL industry. These were in 2021 and 2022:

And, like many young people in Thailand, Krist also seems to support the Move Forward party. Earlier this week, he used an orange heart in a tweet to encourage people to go out and vote in the most recent election. One of the many things the Move Forward party is pushing for is the legalization of same-sex marriage "with the same rights and responsibilities as their heterosexual peers", which the current military government actively does not.

- His Circle -

When I was making my Twitter thread, I hesitated before including mention of his queer friends and coworkers. I knew how that would sound, but in the same way I felt it was important to mention my own queerness, I also think it's important to highlight not just the presence of queer people in his life, but how comfortable they are with him.

As I said in my Twitter thread, having queer friends isn’t indicative of anything substantial, but I do think it’s important to look at how those queer friends interact with him. If you’re queer, you know firsthand which friends you’d be physically affectionate with. The entertainment industry is its own world, of course, and the weight and meaning of relationships and connections can be different, but for all Krist's fame and popularity, he's not so famous or remotely powerful that faking a friendship with him is going to get them very far.

Among his queer friends, you've got Jennie who babies him, Godji who treats him like her son, and Oat who still adores him years after SOTUS. All of them queer, all of them visibly affectionate in a way that feels authentic, at least to me.

On the professional side of things, I think the best example of someone who wouldn't bother with him if he were homophobic is Golf Tanwarin Sukkhapisit. In 2022, Krist worked on The War of Flowers with Golf, a nonbinary queer activist, former MP, and director of The Eclipse. Since they're not just a queer person in the industry but a vocal queer activist who's made incredible progress for the community in their country, I value their judgment of his character.

Again, the reason I bring up these people isn't to say, "Look! Queer people! He knows some!"

It's to point out that he's close to them, and it disrespects their judgment to casually assume that they’d cosy up to a homophobe.

It's a small point, yes, but it was important to me when I first became a fan to see that queer people who know him personally had "vetted" him.

- Growth -

For this next section, I'll address three things I see brought up most often: the rape filter joke, the rumor that Krist said he doesn't like watching men kiss, and the claim that he's only doing BL because rent is due.

1) The Rape Filter Joke

In 2017, Krist and Singto were on a live with (I think) two other friends. They were testing out different filters, and when they got to a blur effect, one of them (one of the friends, I think) said it looked like the filter they put over victims of sexual assault on the news. They all laughed, including Krist and Singto.

I can't find a video of the original event, but we do have a translation of the apology he gave in 2018, and the public apology he made in 2020 when the video resurfaced again.

While this is unfortunate, and it would be nice if he hadn’t done it, I’m more interested in how he responds to criticism and his growth afterward. The incident was in 2017, but even speaking on it in 2020, he didn't make excuses for himself.

He apologized, accepted culpability, educated himself, and has never repeated it.

2) Krist "Doesn't Like to Watch Men Kiss"

There's also a claim that goes around that Krist said he doesn't like to watch men kiss. But that isn't what he said.

The subtitled interview that this claim was taken from has been split into two parts, and I think a lot of people have only seen the first half, if they've seen either.

(Also, my deepest apologies, but I'm linking you to Twitter for the video clips.)

In the first clip, the hosts tease Krist about Singto's sex scene with another actor in Close Friends. I can't speak to the nuances of what Krist is saying in Thai, but in the subtitles, he's basically saying that as a guy, he doesn't want to watch stuff like that and just skips past Singto and his partner to one of the other couples, like the male-female pairs. With just this clip, I agree that it doesn't sound great.

But in the second clip, the hosts tease Krist until he admits that the "stuff" he doesn't want to watch is Singto specifically kissing people who aren't him. Krist's jealousy, especially when it comes to Singto, is a well-trod fanservice joke.

3) He's Doing BL Only for the Money

I mean, I have no idea, but it'd be very weird if this was true, because he hasn't been in a BL since 2018 (if you count Our Skyy), and he's doing very well for himself financially.

Listen, this is probably the least serious people get when they criticize him, but I'm including it because why not, this is already a thesis.

From what I understand based on actors' comments, BL roles don't make a lot of money for the actors. (Boun even quoted a surprisingly low daily salary recently, and I'll share it here if I find it again.) Of course, I imagine Krist has enough fame and clout that he gets paid more than most actors, but to be frank, he absolutely makes more from all his other work.

Apart from the acting work he's done, he hosts two music shows, he starred in a musical recently, GMM just flew him to Japan for the first leg of his Asia concert tour, he runs a restaurant with Wave, and he has a bunch of sponsorships. And that's off the top of my head. The car from his accident in 2021 was a luxury model, and he replaced it with another pretty soon afterward. I'm not bragging for him or anything, but the "he's just doing BL for the money" is an odd thing to say when he probably already earns more than most without doing it.

It would have been a better argument back in 2016 when Krist's family was deep in debt. Krist's said that his main motivation to join the entertainment industry back then was to pay off that debt for his family, and he did so with the money he made from SOTUS.

Krist has spoken in the past about wanting to do more BL roles, but GMM preferred that he work with Singto. Now that Singto's left GMM (likely to start his own agency), Krist is in Be My Favorite, so I think his explanation tracks.

It's also worth mentioning that you can do something for the money and also love what you do. In the case of SOTUS, Arthit wasn't just a role that made him money, he's the character who changed Krist's life. He honors Arthit to this day by always wearing the bracelet he wore to his audition and by naming his music studio "SUN St." after Arthit.

(This is a very minor point, but I don't think a homophobe would cherish a queer role to quite that extent even if it was their kick-off point. If anything, they'd probably try to bury the role and pretend their real success started later.)

- Perception of Sexuality -

I think the reason the IG story hits people so hard is because Krist's reaction makes it seem like he's horrified that people could even think he's gay. My understanding is that he was tired of people interrogating him about his sexuality.

Krist is very openly affectionate with the people he loves, regardless of gender, which is clear in the photos with his friends above. Thus, he's always been like that with Singto. They hug before every show, they sleep on each other, cuddle, what have you. All the stuff of people who have developed a tight bond over the years.

When Krist was asked if he was afraid that that would put off potential partners in the future (which, good god, the questions they're asked) Krist said he doesn't care how people perceive his sexuality.

This was in 2018, the year Our Skyy aired, and he's said similar things in passing before and since.

- Conclusion -

All of what I've posted here is just a slice of what's out there. This is just the stuff I could find with reliable English translations because I'm making this for an English-speaking audience. Krist's fans already know all of this, which is why he has queer fans in the first place, and a lot of them are just too tired by hate fatigue to keep correcting misinformation.

I'm not trying to get every person in the world to like Krist, I promise. He's not perfect. He's a loud mess, and while he has four cats who love him, they're also exhausted by him. I just happen to like loud, obnoxious people, especially when they're as kind as he is.

There are plenty of Thai actors I don't vibe with for any number of reasons ranging from serious to petty. You have my written permission to dislike some people.

The Instagram story he posted was a bad move, we're all agreed. He agrees. He's apologized multiple times over the years. Whether one accepts his apologies is each person’s right, and I understand if this is enough to turn people away.

I just hope it's clear that he's been a staunch ally of the queer community and remains so to this day.

Personally, I'm more upset about the question.

This isn't a question you ask anyone.

And this wasn't the first fan to ask him.

According to people who have been fans from the SOTUS era, Krist and Singto were both relentlessly dogged by fans about 1) their sexualities and 2) details about their relationship with each other. We've all likely seen it happen to actors today, but back in 2016, there weren't hundreds of BL actors vying for the spotlight, so the spotlight hit Krist and Singto in a way that we can't imagine today. Most of us, myself included, arrived in this fandom long after SOTUS's meteoric rise to popularity that ended up saving GMMTV from bankruptcy, but given how many fans still behave like they're entitled to know an actor's sexuality, I think it's safe to trust that it was relentless. Fans accusing Kit Connor of "queerbaiting" as recently as 2022 is proof of that.

At the end of the day, there are plenty of reasons to dislike Krist, just like there are to dislike any person on this planet. He's hyperactive, he's whiny, etc. He's not flawless, but I think he's more than shown through his actions that he isn't homophobic, either.

He's not some actor playing queer roles for clout. He's vocally supportive of queer rights, and he backed that up this week in the polls by voting for the most progressive party in his country who are actively pushing for marriage equality.

But like I said, you don't have to like him, so I'll end this post with a quote from a friend who doesn't like Krist for the funniest reason I've ever heard:

"I don't think Krist is homophobic. I just don't like him because he reminds me of every kindergartener who demanded my attention at the exact moment when I was carrying something that could spill – and then it did spill, and they laughed about it for five minutes."

#krist perawat #be my favorite #if you made it to the end then i love you #thai actor #thai bl

[heartrender6]

most of the kuwei hate in this fandom is absolutely racially motivated and most of it is probably subconscious but i NEED to talk about this.

and not because i think people r thinking "i hate kuwei!! he's asian and i hate asians!!" tbh most anti asian racism on the internet goes way deeper than that.

basically, what i believe to be the most prominent type of racism against asians, especially on the internet, is stereotyping. specifically "uwu-ification." the east asian entertainment industry likes to paint asian people as cute, submissive and sweet because it markets disturbingly well to american audiences, and whether people mean to or not, they internalize it and it affects the way they think of asian people as a whole. This mostly happens to east and southeast asian women, but definitely a lot with men too, especially in more recent years with the whole yaoi culture thing (i fucking hated typing that) becoming more popular. simply put, it's fetishization.

so how does this relate to kuwei? well, when kuwei is introduced to us, and im not gonna dance around it— he is pretty stereotypically asian. he's shy, innocent, small, good at math/science and— you guessed it— no speaka engrish. leigh bardugo lays the perfect trap for fandom white girl weeaboos to gush over this guy. once i came across a modern au where kuwei's whole northern chinese-mongolian ass is a "shy japanese transfer student." i really wish i was making this up.

but then we find out that kuwei is actually a conniving little shit who is really quite terrible at science and spends all day making shitty drawings of his crush instead of doing math or wtv. The turning point where we are told this is the jesper kiss. This is the point where we find out kuwei is not the yaoi uwu baby we thought he was. and how does fuckin 2/3 of the fandom react?? hate. instant hate. If you search "i hate kuwei" on twitter there are tweets both defending and attacking him, but there is significantly more of the latter.

most of them claim to hate him for kissing jesper but like... jesper kissed him. He doesn't say anything because, in his own words, "we're all probably going to die anyway." does no one see how tragic that is?? he let his first (probably) kiss be taken by someone who he knew didn't even like him because he thought it would be the only one he'd ever get.

and yet the only thing people see is that he "got in the way" of wesper and he's evil. throughout the series kuwei is given no agency, and that's the point of his character. everyone on the planet treats him as a weapon or a bargaining chip. he gets tossed around like a rag doll and to white (or otherwise not asian) audiences, that makes him the perfect picture of a little asian cutie i almost vomited typing that holy shit. but the moments where he takes something for himself— insisting on going to ravka, kissing jesper back— that's what makes people hate him. and don't even get me started on the way people project their hatred onto the other crows, especially wylan. yall will act like wylan loathes kuwei with all his being. he doesn't!! wylan is not a hateful person and he always defends kuwei!! but nooo, kuwei sucks and he deserves it for daring to be a person instead of an idea.

and hey?? guess what?? kuwei was NEVER in the way of wesper. there was no love triangle. narratively speaking, there was never any threat that kuwei would end up with jesper instead of wylan. never ever. the kiss was literally only put there to create drama for wylan and jesper. we never even hear how kuwei feels about it. stop using that as an excuse to hate on kuwei when we can all see it's because you're subconsciously mad at an asian person not being nice.

also disliking kuwei does not automatically make you racist, im just saying a lot of hatred towards kuwei is rooted in racism.

tagging my fellow aapi moots (that i know of) because i wanna hear yalls thoughts on this! @hauntedacousticversiontv @dramaqueentruther

#bishangzoy #shadow and bone #six of crows #kuwei yul bo #wesper #i wanna make it clear that it IS mostly subconscious but that doesn't mean mfs who are guilty of this should be held any less accountable

[lurkingshan]

I've been thinking a lot about the depictions of generational trauma and parental accountability being presented in dramas lately. Since you've watched way more than me, especially outside of BLs, what are some shows that present or include parental accountability?

This is such a good question and one I have been thinking about a lot since Last Twilight episode 10 aired. Westerners often assume that because of Asian cultural norms around filial piety, parental authority, and respect for elders, we can never expect satisfying parental accountability in our Asian drama narratives. But that's not true! It's been done and done well. It’s because these values are so deeply embedded in most Asian cultures that Asian creators are the best positioned to speak on the harms they can cause, and will often embed these themes in their work.

Now, there is an important distinction to make here: the difference between what characters do, and what the story communicates. A character may choose to abide by honoring their parents at all costs, but the story can still communicate how harmful that is. A character may never apologize for something they have done wrong, but the story can still make it clear they have fucked up and hold them accountable for that via tangible consequences. Here are a few examples from bl to illustrate what I mean, and the different ways this can show up in dramas.

Bad Buddy

One of the most obvious examples of parental accountability in genre, and also a pretty full metal version of it. This entire story is about the damage Ming and Dissaya did their sons with their decades-long feud and insistence on pushing that trauma down on their children, and we got some extremely cathartic scenes of Pat and Pran telling their parents exactly what they thought about that. Of course, even though they raged at their parents, they never got the apologies they deserved (and likely never will) and still had to hide their relationship to appease their parents going forward. But that doesn't mean there was no accountability here. The entire narrative held these parents accountable by showing us how they were harming their sons, forcing them to reckon with it, and ultimately showing them settling into a form of resigned acceptance.

Until We Meet Again

This entire show is about Korn and In's reincarnated souls healing from the trauma of their tragic ending, which was brought upon by the familial pressure and rejection they experienced from their fathers. We not only saw Dean and Pharm work through this trauma and forge new bonds with family members, we saw the direct aftermath of their first deaths, the despair and regret their families felt, and the ceremony that tied their souls together as a result. It's big karmic accountability on a grand scale, and the show never flinched from letting us see exactly how much harm was caused by these parents, or how the tenets of filial piety resulted in Korn's despair that he couldn't be what his father wanted. Even more crucially, we were shown, not just told, the counterpoint impact of good parenting, when Dean and Pharm were accepted by their families in their second life.

Blueming

A rare example of an Asian parent being called to the carpet, feeling the wrongness of their actions, and actually apologizing for it. This does in fact happen in drama! Si Won's mom raised him to hate himself, to be ashamed of his body, to fake his way through life so people would like him, and boy did it do a lot of damage. The story showed us how this affected Si Won and his relationships deeply, and brought him to the point where it finally burst out of him. And his mom, to her credit, was dismayed to understand what she had done to her son. This show also gets bonus points for Da Un standing up to his own mother after she interferes in the film contest.

Bed Friend

Uea's mother's sins against him are numerous, and I will not go into them all in detail to spare my own sanity. She is an abusive parent so horrific that she can never be forgiven, and doesn't need to be. An apology from her would be utterly meaningless. Instead, the drama holds her to account via showing us what she's done to Uea and the work he has to do to heal from the trauma she caused, and ultimately having her son cut her out of his life. It's the biggest consequence she can ever face for her choices and that Uea finds the courage to do it is the story's biggest triumph.

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

On the subtler end of the scale, we have our beloved KNT, which weaves parental accountability through its story in the long, slow journey for Shiro's mother to accept who he is and the partner he has chosen in life. What I love most about this particular depiction is that it's not at all linear in nature. We see her make strides by finally acknowledging Kenji and inviting him to her home, and then backtrack by rescinding the offer due to her own discomfort, and then include him in her family planning to ensure he will be cared for after her death. She’s homophobic and traditional, but she loves her son and sees how much happier he is with Kenji in his life. She is constantly reckoning with that tension. And Shiro and Kenji, being of an older generation themselves, don't hold it against her, even as the show makes sure we understand how much it hurts them. They are not okay with it, but they do understand why she's like this, so they take what she can give and forgive the rest. It's a really touching portrayal of this kind of impasse in a family.

Moonlight Chicken

There are several different vectors of parental accountability in MLC. There is Heart confronting his parents over their neglect and abuse and finally demanding to be treated with dignity. There is Li Ming directly calling out his mother for how her life choices have affected him. And there is Li Ming and his surrogate dad, Jim, working out their issues so that they can communicate better, and so that Jim can learn to stop pushing his own fears and anxiety down onto the next generation. All of it handled with deftness, with care, and with clear purpose to examine the ways intergenerational trauma can perpetuate in the absence of accountability.

#holding out hope that aof comes through on this in lt but compared to his previous work in this arena ep 10 was definitely lacking #last twilight #bad buddy #until we meet again #blueming #bed friend the series #kinou nani tabeta #moonlight chicken #shan answers #shan recommends

[celamoon]

inspired by Addy's post of her fav alkaid moments here's an extensive list of cael fun facts I stole from Douyin and noted from his card tales bc I am down horrendous for this man I should be euthanized

takes super good care of his hair (says he like takes care (raises) it in chinese)

his hair is supposedly white??

knows how to bartend but never told MC bc he didn’t want her to drink

his speciality is western food (European) but also knows some Asian foods (mooncakes etc.)

dumbass has no concept of money he prefers bartering

STARTED LIKING MC DURING FATHERS DAY????? (JAIL)

started dating on 5/20

he assigns all of MC’s friends a number (confirmed in his wedding card)

his birthday isn’t his birthday it’s simply the day he first met MC

he curses people but calls them a “pest” at most

likes touching fish?? 摸鱼 he likes fish ig (I think it's go fishing) (jk not fishing he likes slacking off)

he has a favorite writer 博尔赫斯 (Borges)

hates socialization but puts through with that shit for MC

likes eating things lighter on the palate

likes cold drinks (leaves them half-drunk if he doesn’t like it)

doesn’t like fried foods

doesn’t like grilled veggies (?)

doesn’t answer calls at night (he sleeps early)

INFJ personality type on the cn wiki, INTJ according to global

he likes chinese new years the best out of all the holidays

horseriding, dancing, ski r all part of his skills

modeled for a newspaper

he only wears earrings on earth he doesn’t wear them while on duty

he changes the single bed in the RV to a double after he starts dating MC

has a fucking HUGE collection of earrings

mc doesn’t listen to him as much since she’s older but he still likes her the same

doesn’t like his hair being played with (but MC gets a pass)

he’s actually pathetically down bad when he starts dating MC (mc calls him and bro goes “you want to hear me talk? Ofc baby”

HE GETS JEALOUS EASILY. SO EASILY. Someone was trying to get him to tell MC his feelings and Cael summed up a 5 minute confession into two sentences lol

Also REALLY likes hugging MC

He remembers nothing abt his past or birth as a result of (spoilers)

can’t sing but will sing a lullaby for MC (against his will)

doesn’t do well with spice

his eating slows if he doesn’t like a certain dish

picks support when playing game so he can help mc out more

likes not super sweet desserts

really fucking good at dance but hates exercise

likes ice cream

bungee is a punishment to him

likes playing in the water with Mc

#lovebrush chronicles #ye xuan #cael anselm #for all time #cael save me... save me cael... (in tears)

[97-liners]

royal advisor wonwoo x crown princess reader

themes: royalty au, elements of east asian fantasy but it’s just atmospheric and not plot-relevant, childhood friends to lovers, slight romcom, misunderstandings, awkward loser!wonwoo

words: 9.5k

warnings: centers around a wedding, there’s a creep but he’s not that bad, genre-typical violence is alluded to but not explicitly detailed, and like two swear words

based on this text post of mine:

a royalty au where you’re the heir to the throne and wonwoo is your shy (and lowkey bumbling) royal advisor…. he’s smart and always has his head stuck in a book but he’s also painfully awkward and clueless to how deeply in love with him you are. until your parents decide it’s time for you to get married. and suddenly you’re inundated by suitor after suitor, and wonwoo is quizzing them on their credentials and doubting their suitability for you, this one makes brash political decisions, this one spends too freely, this one has no tact for diplomacy. until one day, you turn to him and ask, “you’ve hated every single one of them. who, then, do you think i should marry?” and wonwoo blushes red and presses his lips together.

.

.

.

.

.

“--military campaigns of the past four years, supplying iron ore and–”

“Guh!” You jerk awake when you feel the gentle tap of an invisible finger against your cheek. Heart pounding, you look to the side to see your advisor, Wonwoo, frowning at you with a spent talisman on his desk. Wonwoo shakes his head very slightly, as if to tell you off for being rude.

The man sitting opposite to you hadn’t noticed the flagrant display of magic or your unceremonious awakening, however, and continues to drone on about politics, or whatever he’s talking about. You can hear cicadas buzzing from the verdant trees outside, and the silk robes layered on your body are starting to feel oppressively heavy in the summer heat. 

You glance to the side again and make eye contact with Wonwoo, this time shooting him a desperate, pleading look. Get me out of here, you scream at him in your mind. Wonwoo rolls his eyes and shrugs, and you take that as permission.

“I apologize, Lord Sui,” you interrupt, folding your hands neatly in your lap, “but I’m afraid I’m not feeling well.” You sway slightly in a show of mock fragility. 

“Oh, of course! Shall I help you back to your chambers?” He reaches across the table and places a hand on your arm, and you fight back the urge to grimace at the uninvited touch. From the corner of your eye, you see Wonwoo stiffen. “Allow me to assist you, your highness.”

“No need,” Wonwoo interrupts, rising to his feet. “I’ll escort her back to her chambers. Thank you for your visit, Lord Sui.” Your advisor bows politely, the very picture of decorum, but you can hear the irritated edge to his voice. 

“Of course,” Lord Sui frowns. He doesn’t remove his hand from your arm, however, so you gently extract yourself from his grasp and stand, nodding your head in his direction. Lord Sui looks up at you hopefully. “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow then, I hope–”

“Safe travels back,” you interrupt, folding your hands in front of your stomach. “I hope you were well-served by my staff.”

Lord Sui looks like he’s about to swear at you, and you raise your eyebrows at him expectantly. A second passes, before Lord Sui is lowering his head again into a deep bow. “This humble one thanks your highness for her audience,” he says, gritting his teeth like he’s tasting something unpleasant.

Later on while you’re walking through the gardens accompanied by Wonwoo, your heavy outer robes tossed over his arm, you ask him, “so, Scholar Jeon, what do you think about this one? Yes or no, should I marry him?”

Wonwoo laughs, a quiet, deep chuckle. “You made your disinterest very clear with your rudeness, I think.”

“I did, but I’m asking you.” You trail your fingertips along the decorative stone formations along the path, not caring if your white inner robes get dusty. The two of you are taking the long way back to your chambers, because the weather really is too lovely not to. It’s days like this when you really miss the freedom of your youth, when a perfect summer afternoon like this would have been spent sparring on the training grounds, or with the other children on the roof of the library shooting down kites with bows and cotton-tipped arrows. 

“He was rude and pompous,” Wonwoo replies. “His grasp of military strategy is cursory at best, and his grasp of court etiquette is even worse. He touched you without permission,” he says, sounding very offended on your behalf at the last bit. “He’s lucky your father wasn’t present, or he’d be missing his hand.”

“I suppose this is what I get for rejecting all the good ones,” you smile crookedly. “We’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel with these ones. How many suitors have I rejected this summer already?”

“Lord Sui is the twenty ninth,” Wonwoo supplies.

“Twenty ninth rejection in a row,” you laugh. “No thanks to you, Scholar Jeon,” you glance at him. For the past four months, even if you haven’t personally turned them away, each of your suitors have been systematically dissected by Wonwoo’s sharp eye, sometimes even in front of the court. Each of their personal and political failings, no matter how minuscule, laid in front of them like a bill of faults. Nothing escapes Wonwoo.

“I want to make sure your suitors are of satisfactory quality,” Wonwoo replies.

“With your standards, I think you’re overestimating the position of my potential consort,” you scoff.

“It’s not just the prince consort,” Wonwoo says quietly. “It’s your husband. I think you deserve something better than what you’ve been offered so far.”

You soften at his tone. “Who, then, Jeon Wonwoo?” You turn toward him, halting in the middle of the jasmine-scented pavilion you find yourself in.  “Who would you let me marry?”

At this, Wonwoo doesn’t reply. 

Looking up at him, you plead silently with your eyes. Please, see me. See how I look at you, how I adore and admire you, Wonwoo. See how I love you. But for all his endless brilliance, your advisor still remains blind to this one thing. 

“What about you, then, Wonwoo,” you press. Wonwoo averts his gaze when you take a step towards him. “If I were to marry someone like you… or if I were to marry you–”

“You flatter me, your highness,” Wonwoo interrupts you. He bows, deeply. “This humble scholar thanks her highness for her kindness.”

Your heart falls as he shifts into formal language. His voice is distant, cold.

“But,” he adds quietly, rising from the bow, “you needn’t bother yourself with such kindness. I’m simply doing my job.”

“A-alright,” you say. Despite the summer heat, you suddenly feel too exposed, like you’re undressed in the middle of the pavilion. “You… you can take your leave now.” You hold out your arms for your robes, and Wonwoo hands them to you, maintaining careful distance.

“Thank you,” Wonwoo bows again, still speaking in formal language. 

You can’t help but to shake the sinking feeling in your stomach and the regret that bubbles up. Why did you have to bring it up? Look, your brain supplies unhelpfully, you’ve scared him off again.

.

.

.

Wonwoo is used to watching you– after all, he’s been doing it since the two of you were children. Wonwoo, the son of your childhood tutor, accompanied you and the other royal children as you took your lessons. For as long as he can remember, the two of you have been as different from each other as two people could be.

Wonwoo had always been a weak and sickly child. He spent much of his time reading, holed up in the library and watching as you and the young lord Kim Mingyu would play outside in the afternoons after classes had adjourned. Wonwoo watched as you climbed trees and swung wooden swords and shot down apples with pebbles. And a few years later, Wonwoo also watched quietly from the side as you picked up your first real sword, saw the awestruck expression on your face as you admired the glint of steel in the sunlight. He was there the first time you fell off a horse, the first time you won an archery competition, the first time you cast a spell, and he was there when Mingyu received his army commission and all you could do was cry while your best friend rode off, a general in shining armor, while you were locked in a gilded cage and forbidden from picking up a weapon ever again. 

And for as long as he can remember, Wonwoo has been in love with you. After all, how could he not? You shine, like the sun, and Wonwoo can’t help but to turn toward you and hope that some of your light falls on him.

Wonwoo remembers the way his heart thudded in his chest, clumsy and heavy against his ribcage, that night years ago when you appeared outside his door for the first time. He had been awakened by frantic knocking and when he opens his door, it’s you, holding a book in your hands. Your geopolitics tutor had given you assigned reading, and you just can’t seem to understand it, you explain, pushing your loose hair behind your ears. Your father had asked you to attend negotiations tomorrow, and you couldn’t think of anyone else who would help you, so here you are, still dressed in your robes from the day, standing in front of Wonwoo.

And when you drop to your knees to beg, Wonwoo’s heart drops too, because here you are, the princess, the future ruler, begging him to help you understand some ancient treatises. Before he knows it, he’s on his knees too, pleading for you to get up, because it’s not right– he can’t have a royal lowering themself in front of him, nothing but a commoner. 

That very night as he helps you study and prepare for the upcoming day of meetings, Wonwoo has a realization: if he can’t give you his love, at least not in the light, he can at least give you his devotion. Throughout the years, as your personal scribe, as your assistant, and now as your official primary advisor, Wonwoo has devoted every breath, every heartbeat to serving you. 

And occasionally, Wonwoo can fool himself into thinking that devotion is enough.

These days, it’s become a habit for the two of you to take tea in the peony gardens after your father holds court. You’ve grown into your position now, with more grace than anybody ever expected from you, and now you sit behind your father as he listens to the grievances of the commoners and negotiates with dignitaries. As usual, you keep Wonwoo with you at all times, and later over cups of tea and flower-scented sweets, the two of you discuss the happenings of the day. 

It’s on one of these afternoons when the quiet peace that Wonwoo has made for himself is broken and the illusion falls away. There’s footsteps, the sounds of metal against leather, the jingling of steel, and then through the garden gates steps a soldier. 

But it’s not just any soldier. Wonwoo recognizes that face in an instant— it’s Kim Mingyu, back from war after all these years. In an instant, you’ve jumped to your feet, the conversation and tea forgotten. Without a second thought to the delicate silks that float across your body or the jewels and flowers in your hair, like you’re a teenager again, rough and wild, you run across the garden and throw yourself into Kim Mingyu’s arms.

And once again, Wonwoo finds himself watching, lingering in silence, like a shadow. Wonwoo watches the way Mingyu’s tanned face splits into a radiant smile, the way his broad body fills out the ceremonial armor, the worn and well-used grip of his sword, the thin red scar that runs between the knuckles of his left hand and disappears under the edge of his leather vambrace. 

Wonwoo watches, and he knows, with a sinking feeling, that this is it. Of course it was always going to end like this. How could he blame you for loving brave, dashing, charming Mingyu? Mingyu, the war hero with noble blood running through his veins? 

And Wonwoo? He’s just a commoner, he’s nothing special. He doesn’t deserve you, and to even hope… to even begin to imagine a world in which you could love him back…

Wonwoo smiles to himself as he pours himself another cup of tea. He must have been delusional. 

.

.

.

You know you shouldn’t be doing this. It’s against the rules, but it’s Mingyu, and how could you resist?

It’s been years since you last sparred with him, years since you last picked up your sword with intent, even. The muscle memory comes quickly, and you manage to parry a quick blow from your best friend, but your movements are sluggish and labored and your arms are already aching. It seems like Mingyu notices how out of practice you are, because he instantly shifts into a more relaxed stance and his movements become wider, easier. You grit your teeth, half wanting to chastise him for going easy on you, but then again, your teenage years are long behind you. 

“Eat shit, Mingyu,” It feels good to cuss at him. It’s probably been years since the last time you swore, too. 

“I missed this,” Mingyu says, grinning as he slashes with a light flick of his wrist. You block, again, but the action sends shockwaves up your arm. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were visiting?” Your swords clash again as he deflects your blow without even sparing an extra glance your way.

“Wanted it to be a surprise,” he grunts. “Your mother wrote.”

“My– my mother,” you frown, knowing where this is leading.

“She wanted me to come home. Asked me to court you, officially,” Mingyu sighs, easily tossing his sword from his right to his left hand. You prepare yourself as he adjusts his grip on his dominant hand, and then he strikes. You don’t block it fast enough. The flat of his blade bounces off the simple leather training armor you’re wearing, but it’s a heavy enough blow that it knocks the breath out of your lungs.

You wheeze. “You can’t be serious, Mingyu,” you laugh humorlessly as you fall onto your butt, sword held loosely in your hand. From the edge of your vision, you see a royal attendant move forward, undoubtedly ready to administer whatever medical aid they think you need, but you hold out a hand, stopping him in his steps. “That will be all,” you call out to the servants surrounding the training fields, indicating that you wish to be left alone. “You’re all dismissed.”

Mingyu joins you on the dusty ground, crossing his legs daintily and resting his sword across his lap. “She personally granted me three months of leave. I think she wants everything to be wrapped up by the Moon Festival.”

“I can’t believe she still hasn’t given up on…” you wrinkle your nose, “us.”

Mingyu just shrugs. “Maybe her highness is getting impatient. I’ve heard stories about all your suitors, even up north at the outposts.”

“Then,” you reply testily, “you must have heard about how they were all summarily rejected.”

Your best friend nods, his lips cracking into a grin. “Absolutely humiliated Lord Gui, I heard.”

“He shouldn’t have challenged me to an archery competition for my hand if he didn’t want to be humiliated,” you snort, rather impolitely. “I’m glad stories of his humiliations have traveled all the way to the border, though. It’s what he deserves.”

“What kind of man courts a princess by challenging her to an archery competition, anyway?” 

You shrug. “Clearly the other approach didn’t work.” There had been gifts, chests full of silk and jewelry that you didn’t glance twice at. “One of them even wrote a poem about me. It was terrible.”

“What, you’re a poetry expert now?” Mingyu scoffs, and you extend your leg to kick his ankle in retaliation.

“Didn’t you hear? I’m cultured now. I’m being personally advised by the best poet to come out of the capital in decades.”

“Ah.” Mingyu tilts his head in the direction of the palace. “What about Scholar Jeon, then?”

“What about him?”

“Has he submitted his name for consideration yet?” Mingyu asks the question as easily as if he were asking what’s for lunch. 

The question gives you pause. What about him, then? “Wonwoo, he…” pursing your lips, you look down and pick at the hem of your training robes. “I don’t think…”

“What, you don’t think he’s just as besotted with you as you are with him?” You don’t have to look up to know that Mingyu is rolling his eyes. “Come on, your highness, be serious.”

“I am serious!” You glare at him and kick him again. 

Mingyu whines and withdraws his leg, looking at you with big petulant eyes. “Me too!”

“I asked him if he would be satisfied if I married someone like him, and he just… thanked me and spoke to me in formal language. It was terrible.” You grimace at the memory.

Mingyu scratches the top of his head. “Yeah, that’s pretty bad,” he admits. “Uh, have you considered that maybe he’s just awkward? Like, really, really awkward? And maybe a bit dull, too.”

“He’s smarter than you are,” you scoff, and Mingyu is quick to put a hand up in surrender.

“You’re right, he’s cleverer and wiser than I am, but when it comes to matters of the heart, it’s like watching a foal learning to walk,” Mingyu grimaces. “It’s terrible. The secondhand embarrassment gives me heartburn. But, if you trust me, you’ll believe me when I tell you that your feelings are returned.”

“That’s the problem, Gyu,” you sigh. “I do trust you, and I do believe that, but Wonwoo, he just.. Won’t open up to me. I can’t… I can’t do this if he’s terrified of me.”

“I think you should talk to him. Frankly and honestly. Throw away all the decorum,” Mingyu says, “and just tell him how you feel.”

“You say that like it’s easy.” You pick up your sword again, driving it into the group and using it as leverage to pull yourself back up. Your whole body smarts and the palm of your sword hand is stinging where you know there are blisters.

“Do it,” Mingyu stands easily and dusts himself off. “At least do it for me, so your mother will stop haranguing me,” he wrinkles his nose. 

“Fine, alright, I’ll do it,” you huff, “but give me some time.”

“Promise?”

You hold out your pinky. Like you were children again, Mingyu links his pinky with yours, sealing the promise with a press of his thumb against yours. It’s not a contract, there’s no magic binding the deal, but it’s enough that Mingyu relaxes a bit, shoulders slumping. 

“Good,” he says, “I’m tired of the two of you dancing around each other.”

.

.

.

Wonwoo is one of the few people in this entire palace complex that has access to your chambers 24 hours a day. It’s cause for whispers and glances, but you insist on it, and nobody dares to publicly question the character of the crown princess anyway.

Tonight, he carries with him a wooden lunch box filled with various summer pastries, cut and molded into delicate flower shapes. You hadn’t taken your dinner tonight, Wonwoo noticed, because you had been preoccupied with reports of failed crops in the southern river delta. It’s late, and most of the palace lights have been dimmed, so Wonwoo carries with him a lantern as well. 

The wooden walkways are normally deserted, this part of the palace being off-limits to most staff, but there’s someone standing outside the doors of your quarters. Wonwoo frowns, footsteps slowing as he raises his lantern and casts the scene into light— a man, hunched forward and whispering to a maid. Something sparkles gold in his hands.

“-can’t,” the maid’s voice drifts as her tone rises in pitch, “unless you have the seal of her highness yourself, I can’t let you— Scholar Jeon!” Her face softens in relief as she makes eye contact with Wonwoo over the man’s shoulder. “Scholar Jeon, this person is trying to enter Her Highness’s chambers!”

The man turns around, and Wonwoo’s face sours into a scowl. “Lord Sui,” Wonwoo says flatly. “I thought the royal palace had sent you away.”

“It must have been a mistake,” he replies, straightening himself and fixing his robes. “The princess wasn’t in her right mind. I’m here to talk to her. You,” he points his finger at Wonwoo, “Scholar, is it? I trust you’ll have more sense than this maid here— unlock this door for me right this instant!”

“Apologies,” Wonwoo dips his head in a semblance of propriety, “but I can’t let you in without express permission from the princess.”

“What permission do I need,” he snaps, “I’m the Lord of the Chujie territory and I’m courting the crown princess. What right do you, a servant, have to be questioning me?”

Wonwoo doesn’t flinch. Instead, he sighs slowly, suppressing the enraged trembling of his hands as he pitches his voice low and cold and repeats, “I can’t let you in without express permission from the princess.”

“What makes you think you can speak for Y/N?” 

Lord Sui’s lips curl in a snarl, and Wonwoo’s patience runs out. “You,” he says steadily and quietly, dripping with derision, “are not qualified to say her name.” He takes a step forward. “You are not qualified to speak to her or to set your dirty eyes on her, much less touch her.”

Lord Sui sputters, red-faced, “w-who do you think you are?”

“You’re lucky the princess, with her endless mercy, only sent you away after what you did last time,” Wonwoo continues, stone-faced. “If it were up to me, you would be missing the hand you touched her with right now.”

Pulling himself up to his full height, Wonwoo glares at Lord Sui with all the venom he can muster. “Now get out of my sight,” he spits, “before I call the guards on you and have you thrown in the dungeons.”

Wonwoo can feel the adrenaline running through his veins. He’s never spoken to anyone like this, much less a member of nobility, but something in him fills him with a rush of defiance.

Lord Sui turns puce. He opens his mouth, sucking in a breath. But, before he can get the words out or his mouth, his lips clamp shut. 

“Mmmf—“ Lord Sui lets out a strangled yell, hands flying up to his neck in disbelief.

“That’s enough,” you say quietly, sliding open your door with your maid in tow. You’re dressed in only your nightclothes with your hair loose, but you’re gripping your personal sword tightly in your hand. “Lord Sui,” you dip your head slightly, “I apologize for my rudeness, but it’s late and I’m not receiving guests.”

“Mmmf-mmmgh!”

“Ah, yes, it was me who sealed your mouth.” You hold up a used talisman, the paper dissolving into ash between your fingers. “I hope you’ll forgive my transgression. The spell will expire in the time it takes for a stick of incense to burn. I’ve called the guards already.” 

You turn toward Wonwoo, and suddenly the lantern and wooden lunch box feel heavy in his hands. “Come inside, Scholar Jeon.”

Lord Sui makes an outraged noise, but his lips remain sealed. 

“Safe travels,” you nod again at him as you usher Wonwoo in through the door. “Thank you,” you smile at your maid, “that will be all tonight.” 

“Wait, no, I was just going to drop these off,” Wonwoo tries to object, but then you’re tugging him across the stone tiled courtyard by the sleeve. Wonwoo feels his throat close up, like he’s having an allergic reaction— he’s never seen you in such an intimate appearance before. Your brow is damp and Wonwoo can almost feel the rose-scented steam wafting off your skin. You’ve clearly just emerged from a bath. 

“Come on, I know you’re worried about what this looks like,” you laugh, “but worry not, nobody is going to question the crown princess’s maidenhood without risking their neck. Especially after you just defended my honor like that.”

At that, Wonwoo flushes red, all the way down his neck. “That’s not what I meant,” he mumbles uselessly. 

“Come in! You shouldn’t have, really,” you say as you open the door to your private quarters and take the food out of Wonwoo’s hands. “Here, sit and eat.”

“They’re for you,” Wonwoo sputters, but you’re busying yourself frantically cleaning up your bedroom, fluttering like a moth around the walls. 

“Sorry about the state of this,” you grab a handful of half-written letters and shove them haphazardly into a box under your desk. There’s a forgotten pot of tea on your desk and the remains of a few sticks of incense in a porcelain brazier, which you hurriedly shove the lid onto. 

“You didn’t eat dinner,” Wonwoo tries to explain, but all of his previous confidence is gone now and his voice fails him. “I brought you food. I thought you’d be hungry.”

“Wonwoo,” you turn toward him with an expression of disbelief plastered across your face, “you can’t be serious. You were with me all evening. You didn’t eat dinner either. We’ll be eating together.”

“But—“

“I know there’s a rule against that, but I don’t really care,” you grin, laughing as you slide into a seat at the table in the center of the room. There’s a small stack of novels haphazardly pushed against the edge of the table, and as Wonwoo hesitantly takes his seat across from you, he catches the title of the one on top.

“‘The Cruel Emperor’s Requite, Volume 3’,” he observes drily.

“Oh,” you laugh nervously, clearly embarrassed. The wooden lid of the lunch box clatters against the table as you start removing the dishes inside. “I asked Mingyu to sneak me the latest volume. They’re… salacious, to say the least, but it’s a fun read, and I’ve been hooked by the plot.”

At that, Wonwoo resists the urge to tilt forward and slam his head against the table. The mention of your best friend has his stomach churning with ill-suppressed jealousy, and the thought that Mingyu has been delivering bawdy romance novels to you? 

You lean across the table to place a tiny delicate porcelain cup in front of him and you fill it halfway with pale yellow tea. “The leaves are spring maojian, brought to the capital from the mountains last month. Here,” you place a dish next to the tea, “have an osmanthus cake.”

The lamps in your private quarters are warm and bright behind white paper shades, and Wonwoo can still smell the perfumed bathwater in the air. When you dip your head to sip your tea, giving Wonwoo a glimpse at the slope of your shoulders and the way the little hairs at the back of your neck stick to your damp skin, Wonwoo feels like he’s about to explode. 

“Wonwoo?” You tilt your head and peer into his blank face. “Are you alright?”

“Uh,” Wonwoo responds intelligently. 

“Try some of this tea,” you say, and because the part of Wonwoo’s brain that’s normally in charge of forming sentences is currently mush, he shuts up and drinks the tea. 

When he looks up at you again, you’re wearing an apprehensive expression on your face. You twist your fingers in the hem of your sleeves, winding and unwinding the silk tape around your hands. It’s an anxious habit, Wonwoo recognizes. “Um, Wonwoo,” you begin haltingly, “do you remember when we were twelve and I fell out of a tree and died for a few minutes before Master Liu summoned my spirit and put me back in my body?”

Wonwoo nods. He remembers it vividly. You had been shooting down kites with the other children, and one of them had landed in the upper boughs of one of the pine trees outside the library. Of course you, brave, reckless, had volunteered to retrieve it. Wonwoo remembers sitting at the window, a book in his lap, and watching as you scaled the ancient tree. And he doesn’t think he can ever forget the sound of branches cracking, the small scream and the sickening thud of your body landing on the grass below. 

As soon as he realized what had happened, his mind had gone fuzzy with panic, because you were laying there, so small, broken, and Wonwoo was just a child but he had to do something. So, he slid out the window and as soon as his feet hit the ground below, he was running toward you, panicked tears prickling at his eyes as he called your name.

“You gave me a protective charm,” you tell him hesitantly. Wonwoo remembers reaching into his robes and grabbing the jade tablet, pulling so hard that the cord hanging it around his neck snapped, and placing it in your hands. It wasn’t a powerful charm— it was just the simple kind given to children to protect them from danger, and Wonwoo knows now as an adult trained in magic that it wouldn’t have done anything. But as a twelve year old child, it was all he could think of when faced with your unconscious body and the blood seeping through your robes. 

“Wonwoo,” you begin quietly, reaching a hand under the collar of your robes, “I’ve worn it every day for thirteen years.” And then you pull out that jade tablet, carved into the shape of gnarled peach boughs and inscripted with tiny runes. 

Wonwoo blinks. “You kept it? It… it’s not…” he licks away the dryness on his lips, and tries again. “I can have an artificer prepare something much more powerful for you if you’d like, your highness.”

Immediately, Wonwoo knows that he’s said something wrong, because you look sad as you tuck the jade tablet back under your collar where it rests against the bare skin of your chest. “No, Wonwoo,” you shake your head, “that’s not the point. I don’t wear it for protection. I wear it because you gave it to me when I was dying.” 

Something hurts in Wonwoo’s chest. He supposes that this is what unrequited love does to a person— it squeezes at his heart, twisting until every last drop has been pressed out. Wonwoo is so in love, he thinks he could drown in it.

“Um. So.” You chew your lower lip anxiously. “Wonwoo, you know that I value your presence in my life very much, don’t you?”

Wonwoo stares at you. 

His lack of response doesn’t faze you. “Wonwoo, can I tell you something?”

Oh no. This is the part where you break Wonwoo’s heart, where you tell him that you’ll be marrying Kim Mingyu and living happily ever after, without Wonwoo. 

“I have to go,” Wonwoo blurts out, clumsily rising to his feet. 

“Huh?” Your mouth is slack and your eyes are round. “But your tea—“

“I have… I just remembered, I need to send some letters,” Wonwoo says lamely, offering you the worst excuse of all time. He cringes at your incredulous expression- you’re clearly not fooled.

“At this time of night?!”

“I have to go!” And then Wonwoo is making his way through your courtyard as fast as he can without inciting suspicion. He walks and walks, furiously keeping his face impassive, until he locks himself in his room and collapses face-first into his bed and lays there, motionless, wallowing in misery and self-pity, until he falls asleep.

.

.

.

It was supposed to just be a regular ride in the royal woods. You’re not even dressed for a hunt, and you’re supposed to have tea with your grandmother, the empress dowager, this afternoon, but of course when Mingyu is involved, nothing can go as planned.

Three hours after you depart for a leisurely morning ride, the two of you return, muddy and exhausted, with a dismembered wyvern carcass split between your horses. You’re scowling and Mingyu is pouting, and the monster flesh is starting to attract flies in the heat.

“I hate you so much, Mingyu,” you scowl, swatting away a fly attempting to land on your gore-spattered cheek, “if we just left the wyvern where we killed it—“

“C'mon, what kind of hunter doesn’t take their catch home,” he immediately whines.

“We have grounds staff for that! Just dismembering the carcass took us most of an hour!” The two of you are approaching the stables now, and you’re acutely aware of the horrified stares of the servants who are unfortunate enough to have been standing along the path. You reach up to wipe at your face with your sleeve, but you only succeed in smearing the monster blood sprayed across your face. 

“Whatever,” Mingyu rolls his eyes. “I‘ll be competing in the exhibitions for the moon festival, we’ll see who’s laughing then.”

“I’m not even laughing now, I’m just—“ you look around and lower your voice before continuing, trying to at least pretend to act the part of the princess, “I’m just pissed that you went behind my back and made a mistake and now you’re putting an arbitrary countdown on my relationships!”

(Right. That was the whole reason Mingyu had asked you to go riding with him in the morning, before it ever came to monster-hunting and butchery.

When you set off with your best friend, you have a quiver full of arrows and a freshly re-stringed bow, and the woods are misty following the previous night’s rainfall. “I don’t know how many strings you had to pull to get me alone,” you grin. “What’s the plan? Do you want to hunt pheasants, or do you just want to ride?”

“Um,” Mingyu scratches the back of his head. He looks nervous, which is never a good sign. “About that.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Mingyu?”

He looks to the side, avoiding eye contact like a guilty dog. “So. The reason I was able to get you alone. I have something to confess.”

“Mingyu!” You tug on the reins and bring your horse to a stop, dawning horror spreading across your face. “What did you do!”

“I might have…” he chews his lip, before blurting it all out, “I might have accidentally thrown my hat in the ring.”

“What?” You blink at him, dreading his response.

“Your father requested a private audience with me yesterday, and I was nervous because I was alone with the emperor!” Your best friend’s voice pitched up in a near hysterical whine. “I thought he was going to send me and my men out west, but instead he told me that court etiquette typically required a gift of ten taels of gold but he’d waive that for me, and…”

“…and?”

To his credit, Mingyu looks distraught. “And I thanked him and accepted his offer! And now… and now your mother thinks I’m taking you on a ride to court you.”

You feel a dull headache beginning to throb behind your brow. “Kim Mingyu, you need to go to my father and withdraw your proposal. My mother would never let me refuse.” 

“I’m sorry,” he whimpers, “but I’m scared your father is going to throw me in a dungeon, or worse, into an administrative job.”

“I’ll make sure you get smuggled back into the army with a new identity if he does,” you tell him, but his expression doesn’t change. 

“You need to tell them, today, that you’re going to marry Jeon Wonwoo,” he whispers even though the two of you are the only ones in the vicinity. 

You choke on air. “W-what are you talking about?!”

“Tomorrow,” he explains, “is when he’s bringing the matter to the court. And that’s when it’ll be publicly announced.” 

“I can’t just spring this on Wonwoo,” you sputter at him, “it’s not fair for him either!”

“Then what are you going to do? Let him learn about it himself tomorrow when it’s announced?”

“I’m going to talk to my father myself,” you tell him, full of confidence, “and stop all of this. Nothing will change between me and Wonwoo.”)

The moment you see Wonwoo, however, your confidence falls away and your plan completely leaves your head. He turns away from his conversation with a stable hand when he hears the sound of hooves. First, he sees Mingyu, and furrows his brow. And then he sees you, covered in blood, and his face falls with abject horror.

“What did you do,” he hisses, turning on Mingyu and fixing a glare on him.

“I swear, it’s not my fault,” Mingyu blabbers, clambering off his horse. You’re already on your feet leading your horse to the stable hand when you hear the edge to Wonwoo’s voice and realize that he’s truly pissed. 

“What do you mean it’s not your fault,” he hisses, “you’re supposed to be the soldier here, why is her highness covered in blood?!”

“I can hear you talking about me,” you remark, crossing your arms. “I’m fine. It’s not my blood.”

“It’s not– that doesn’t help,” Wonwoo sputters, ears flushing pink. “You’re still covered in blood!”

“I need to get washed off, Wonwoo, I need to request an audience with my father,” you tell him. You grab his wrist and start making your way back to your quarters. He stumbles a little bit but quickly manages to regain his footing.

“What are you talking about? Your father isn’t receiving any visitors today,” Wonwoo tells you as he follows behind you, letting himself be pulled by the wrist. 

“It’s urgent!” The deeper into the palace complex you go, the more stares the two of you receive— you, the princess, dirty and covered in dried blood, dragging your respected advisor behind you.

“What is it? He’s resting for the evening, but I can bring it up Minister Choi this evening if you need.”

“It’s not… it’s nothing that Minister Choi can help with,” you sigh miserably. 

“Tell me what you need help with, then.” Wonwoo furrows his brows, an expression of concern written across his face. “Anything you need.”

Chewing on your lip, you make the sudden decision to take a sharp detour through the chrysanthemum gardens and into a narrow walkway into a secluded part of the garden, behind a cluster of trees and some large decorative rocks.

You stop abruptly, and Wonwoo, caught off guard, walks right into you. 

“Ouch,” he mumbles quietly, rubbing at the spot in his shoulder where one of your hairpins jabbed him. 

“Wonwoo.” You twist anxiously at the ties of your riding robes. “Um. I don’t know if you’ve heard about this. Maybe there have been rumors, or maybe not.”

“What are you talking about?”

He’s watching you, carefully, almost like he’s afraid of you. 

Impatient, your swordsmanship master used to chide you. Your greatest strength, when it comes to armed combat, is also your greatest weakness— you’re too reckless, you act too quickly. You think you know what your opponent’s next move will be, and sometimes you’re right, but sometimes you’re wrong.

“Kim Mingyu is courting me,” you tell Wonwoo, the words directly bypassing your brain as they emerge from your mouth. “He spoke to my father yesterday, and it’s going to be official tomorrow.”

Wonwoo stares at you, silent.

“I can’t marry Kim Mingyu,” you continue, voice rising in volume, not caring about eavesdroppers in your panic. “I can’t marry him, because I’m already in love with someone else.”

“Oh,” Wonwoo says, and for a split second, you think he’s going to argue. But then he schools his expression back into the placid mask that he wears every day in court, your faithful Scholar Jeon. 

“I’ll send for some servants to draw a bath for you,” he says, bowing deeply. And then, without looking up at your face, he turns and walks away from you, leaving you speechless and with the deep sinking feeling that you just made a huge mistake. 

.

.

.

That night, Wonwoo has a dream. It’s not just a dream, though, it’s a memory— one that he’s re-lived in his head so many times, it still feels as fresh as the day it happened.

It’s ten years ago. It’s your fifteenth summer, and Wonwoo’s sixteenth. You’re still a little too loud, a little too brash— a child, still, not yet burdened with the responsibility of the title of Crown Princess. You had spent all summer sparring with Mingyu, hunting low-level monsters in the woods, and practicing your archery.

It’s the morning of the annual hunt, a chance for noble cultivators across the kingdom to show off their skills, and you’re finally old enough to participate. The only event that the administrators would let you compete in was the archery competition, so you had practiced for weeks, until your fingertips were bloody and your vision blurred.

Wonwoo sits with his father at the side, along with all the other spectators, hands folded neatly in his lap. He watches as you line up with the other contestants and raise your bow, knock your arrow, and draw back the string. 

And then, you hesitate and lower the bow. Wonwoo sees you turn your head to the crowd, eyes moving back and forth, like you’re searching for something— until your eyes lock with Wonwoo’s. There’s no question about it, Wonwoo knows you’re looking directly at him. You’re terrified, he realizes. And so Wonwoo does what he can, and he smiles at you, something small but reassuring, or at least, as reassuring as he can make a smile. 

When you see the smile, you exhale slowly, visibly relaxing. And then you turn back to the target, bow raised and drawn, sharp eyes focused on the target, and you let your arrow fly.

It lands in the center of the target. A perfect shot.

The air shifts and swims, glittering like sunlight does when it shines through leafy branches, and then Wonwoo’s dream changes into something else, another memory. This one is even clearer— it’s replayed in Wonwoo’s mind thousands of times since it happened, sitting in his thoughts, heavy, like a stone weighing on paper.

It’s the night of your twentieth moon festival. The first chill of autumn is starting to permeate the air, cutting through Wonwoo’s fancy new robes that you had ordered for him just for the event. It’s his first year as your personal scribe, barely three months after your father had given you the title of crown princess and officially designated you as his heir. 

The whole palace is celebrating the feast in the banquet halls, but Wonwoo is standing with you on the roof of one of the minor pavilions away from the festivities. The full harvest moon is bright and warm, almost gold tonight. The tiles beneath Wonwoo’s feet are slippery, but you promised him earlier that he wouldn’t fall, and he can’t bring himself to be too worried. Not when you’re smiling at him like that.

In your hands, you hold a paper lantern that Wonwoo had painted with a pair of white rabbits earlier. Wonwoo holds a matching lantern, painted with a pair of wood ducks frolicking near some reeds. 

“Let’s release them together in three,” you whisper, grinning in the flickering light of the lantern, “two, one.”

You let go of the bamboo scaffold and laugh in delight as it rises, floating into the silvery night. Wonwoo releases his lantern too, and watches as it hangs in the air for a moment before being caught by the wind to join yours.

“Wonwoo, you have to make a wish.” 

I wish we could be like this forever, Wonwoo thinks. He looks down at you, at your closed eyes and clasped hands held to your lips. He’s so fond of you, it aches. 

“I wish for the health and safety of the kingdom,” you murmur against your fingers. “May our lands be blessed by the Goddess of Mercy.” You open your eyes and look up at him. “What did you wish for?”

Wonwoo grins crookedly. “I’m not telling you.”

“Fine,” you laugh. You’re twisting your fingers into your sleeves. “Wonwoo,” you say softly, taking a step closer to him. Wonwoo’s breath catches in his chest— you’re so close, he can smell your rose-scented bath powders on your skin. 

“Yes, your highness?”

“We’re… we’re friends, aren’t we?” There’s an edge of uncertainty in your voice. A hint of something fragile.

“Of course,” Wonwoo replies. Then, in a softer voice, he says your name— your personal name, the one that you haven’t been called by in public since you were a child. It’s the name Wonwoo only calls you in private, away from the formalities of palace life. 

You bite your lip. “Wonwoo, can I ask for a wish from you?”

Anything, Wonwoo thinks. Anything for you. But what he says is, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Can…” you suck in a deep breath, like you’re gathering your courage, “can you kiss me?”

For a moment, Wonwoo feels like his heart has stopped. His mind is racing, a thousand thoughts a second. There has to be an explanation, something logical. You’re the crown princess, you’re kept under careful watch, scrutinized wherever you go, Wonwoo reminds himself. At an age where most people are flirting, giving and receiving gifts and engaging in late-night dalliances, you’ve been locked up in the palace. It’s only natural that you would want to experiment, and Wonwoo is likely the only person your age that you trust. 

It’s an explanation that makes sense. It’s solid— at least, solid enough for Wonwoo, so he acquiesces. 

Your eyes are closed and your lips are slightly parted, like you’re wishing on a lantern again, waiting. Wonwoo leans forward and carefully brushes his lips against yours, like the faint touch of a dandelion seed, barely perceptible. 

He tries to withdraw, but you reach out and fist your hands in the front of his robes, almost desperate. You open your eyes and look up at him dazedly. “Again,” you whisper. It’s an order, but Wonwoo would have complied even if he wasn’t your personal scribe and you weren’t the crown princess.

He kisses you, this time firmer. It’s not like the careful touch of his lips against yours before. This time, you kiss him back and press into him, warm and soft, searching, hungry. Wonwoo’s head swims. He can feel his heart thudding in his chest as his mind is emptied and replaced only with the way you taste, the way you feel, you, you, you.

No. No, this is wrong. Wonwoo breaks the kiss and takes a step back, gasping sharply as he regains control of his senses. Suddenly, the air feels a little too hot and the rooftop feels a bit too exposed. 

“I—,” Wonwoo’s voice breaks in his panic, all words leaving him. “I, uh,” he stammers.

You’re still looking up at him with that dazed, almost drunken expression on your face. “Wonwoo,” you say his name like a request. “Wonwoo.”

His brain starts working again, and immediately, it begins to panic, filling every inch of Wonwoo with anxiety and dread. This is all wrong. “Thank you, your highness,” he bows, automatically shifting into formal speech. “I’ll take my leave.” The moment the words come out of his mouth, he’s already cursing himself in his head. Dumbass. He couldn’t be any more awkward if he tried. 

Wonwoo scrambles off the rooftop, cheeks pink, heart pounding as he leaves. He’s almost out of the courtyard when he looks back at you one last time over his shoulder. You’re still standing on the rooftop, arms held at your sides, looking oddly small and slumped in your festival finery.

You look sad.

Bong. Bong. Bong.

The scene dissolves, snapping to black in an instant.

Wonwoo wakes up to the sharp sound of the morning bell and yellow sunlight filtering through his window shades. It’s morning already, and Wonwoo is slowly beginning to realize his mistake.

“Oh my god.” He buries his face in his hands. “She’s been in love with me this whole time,” he groans into his palms.

.

.

.

Your father is holding court today. You’re seated in your usual position, on the dais but off to the side, a position befitting your rank. Wonwoo isn’t here yet, which does nothing to settle the anxious butterflies in your stomach.

“Stop that,” you hear your mother hiss at you from her seat beside your father. You look up at her, and then you follow her gaze to realize that she’s glaring at your lap, where your hands are anxiously crumpling the fine silk ties of your sash. 

Immediately, you smooth out the fabric and place your hands against your thighs, flat and still. The anxiety doesn’t abate, however, so you worry at your lower hip with your teeth while your father discusses something with his Minister of Justice. 

Maybe you thought too much of your relationship with Wonwoo. Maybe he’s quitting the job and moving to the countryside to focus on scholarship. Maybe he hates you. Maybe you should just accept your fate and marry Mingyu.

Your mind is blank as the proceedings of your father’s court continue. All you can think about is the impassive expression on Wonwoo’s face as he bowed and walked yesterday after you had stupidly blurted everything out to him. 

“And lastly,” your father announces, gathering his papers on his desk, “there’s the matter of my daughter’s future.”

“Twenty nine rejections,” one of the nobles sniffs, disdain dripping in his voice. “That’s twenty nine grudges against the crown.”

“The relationship with the southern warlords is already strained,” someone else says, “and with the recent affair with Lord Sui, well…”

“Settle down, both of you,” your father’s chief advisor orders as he thumps the edge of his folded fan against his table. “May I remind you all that Lord Sui attempted to intrude on her highness’s personal quarters at night? Her highness was merciful to only seal his mouth and throw him from the grounds.”

You glance up at your father’s chief advisor and give him a grateful smile as your father clears his throat and brings his hand down to the table. “Regardless of the decisions made on previous suitors, I have news of a new suitor, a promising candidate. His grace, Kim Mingyu, has put his name in for consideration.”

A murmur goes through the court. You can see them nodding in approval, whispering to each other like this is a favorable tariff proposal and not your future husband. 

“Does anyone have any objections to this arrangement,” your father asks, his voice booming over the noise. Your breath catches in your chest. This is your chance to speak up. This is your escape. But you remember the way Wonwoo turned away from you yesterday, like how he’s turned away from you time and time again over the years. And anyways, at least you like Mingyu. You’re tired of the constant game of cat and mouse, the constant rumors and gossip and the endless stream of insincere men begging for a sliver of your favor. 

“Wait!” The side door bursts open, nearly falling off the hinges.

In unison, every head in the large hall turns to face a very disheveled Wonwoo standing at the door. There’s a long awkward silence as everybody stares at him. 

“Wonwoo?” You gather your skirts and scramble to your feet, not caring that you’re drawing attention to yourself, or that you just called him by his personal name in front of all the members of your father’s court. “Wonwoo, what’s going on?”

Wonwoo’s eyes are wide and frantic, his mouth silently opening and closing as if he’s suddenly realizing the spectacle he just made of himself. 

“Scholar Jeon,” your father raises an eyebrow in Wonwoo’s direction and you can almost see the way he freezes up, like he’s caught in the midst of a death ray. 

“Wonwoo,” you repeat, stumbling towards him, “it’s okay.” You’re not sure what he’s here for, but you know that you’ll do everything in your power to make things okay for him.

“I—I’m submitting myself for consideration,” Wonwoo announces to the crowd but he’s looking directly at you, as if he’s speaking to you and only you. “For the crown princess’s hand in marriage.”

There’s more murmurs, more scandalized titters. Whispers about how he’s just a commoner, whispers about the lack of decorum. 

“Wonwoo.” You’re not sure if you’re hearing him correctly. 

He falls to his knees in front of you and lowers his head, and you gasp in shock. You try to pull him up, but he doesn’t budge.

“And,” he says, “I’m here to beg for her highness’s mercy and forgiveness. This humble servant has been a fool for all these years.” He raises his head and looks up at you. 

Wonwoo’s body is like a tense, tightly strung bow, trembling with anxiety and terror. 

“You’re a fool, alright,” you breathe out in a quiet whisper that only Wonwoo can hear.

Your father clicks his tongue in irritation. “Scholar Jeon, you do realize this is all quite unconventional and inconvenient, do you?”

Wonwoo’s face is flushed bright red, all the way down his neck. You know he’s quiet and shy by nature, and to come bursting in and create the biggest spectacle the court has seen in years must take an absurd amount of courage and energy, but Wonwoo is unwavering. He flashes the tiniest smile at you. “Do you want to marry me?”

You nod at him. “I accept,” you say quietly, and then in a bigger voice, “I accept. It’s him.”

The room explodes into raucous yelling, but over the din, you hear your mother clapping her hands and laughing, voice pitching near hysterical. “God, finally, do any of you know how difficult it is to host thirty suitors here? Thirty! And on the thirty first try, finally!” She turns to your father and grips his arm. “Darling, this is the last time. You need to let this happen.”

Your father, on the other hand, looks bewildered at the mixed reactions of the court. Minister Lee is waving a fan in the air, shouting about Wonwoo’s scholarly qualifications, while Lord Guan is pointing at Minister Choi and ranting about construction of a mountain pass for spice trade routes. 

“Do you think anybody would notice if we left for tea,” you turn toward Wonwoo. He’s still on his knees, wearing a dumbfounded expression on his face as the room devolves into chaos at the recent development of events.

“Get out of here, you two,” your mother waves a long sleeve in your direction with a scowl on her face, “before you somehow incite a riot.”

“I think that counts as a dismissal for the day,” Wonwoo says. 

“Tea,” you decide, tugging Wonwoo up by the hand. “And just a fair warning, I’m going to ask you to kiss me. Are you going to run away?”

“No,” Wonwoo nods, self-assured. “I’m done running.”

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extra:

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“They kept calling me your highness,” Wonwoo complains as soon as the door is closed behind him. “And your handmaidens bowed to me, like I’m some kind of royalty.”

You sit patiently on the bed, still veiled behind red silk. “That’s because you are royalty,” you reply. “You’re the prince consort now.”

“Does it ever get any less awkward?”

You hear the clinking of gold and jade as he removes his belt. You shrug at him, but the action is lost under the silk that you’re still draped in. “Don’t ask me, that’s how I’ve been addressed since I was born.”

“I suppose I won’t be able to hide away during conferences anymore,” he sighs. 

You grin. “Nope, you’ll be forced to accompany me for all social events now, darling husband.”

“How do you make that sound like a threat?” 

You hear something that sounds suspiciously like paper rustling. 

“Wonwoo!” you lift a corner of the veil and peer out into the bridal suite. At your desk, Wonwoo jumps and looks at you, only slightly guilty.

“Yes?”

“Did you bring work to our wedding night?!” 

Wonwoo puts down the scrolls in his hands. “You have work tomorrow,” he says, “and you haven’t appointed a replacement for me, so I assume I’ll still be accompanying you.”

“That’s beside the point,” you exclaim incredulously, “Wonwoo, I know you’re nervous, but you can’t just hide behind work, and especially not on our wedding night!”

He opens his mouth like he’s about to argue, but then, evidently, he thinks better of it. “I’m sorry,” he says, shoulders slumping. I feel like I’m about to lose my mind.”

“Come here, Wonwoo.” You remove the veil and toss it to the side before patting the bed. 

He takes a seat next to you. The mattress dips slightly and you scoot closer, until your thighs are touching. You can see his neck starting to flush a dark blotchy red as he looks down at his hands. 

“Wonwoo.” You tilt your head and smile at him. “One wish, anything you want.”

He turns his head and blinks at you. “Anything?”

“You’re a prince now. You can have anything you want.”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” He’s smiling now, shoulders slowly slumping into something a bit more relaxed than his ramrod-straight posture from earlier. 

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Is that so bad? Seducing my own husband?”

“I think I’ll claim my wish now,” he says quietly, fondly. “Can you kiss me?”

And you do.

#sorry guys leaving it untitled because i'm sick of this and wanna just dump it and forget about it lol #seventeen scenarios #wonwoo scenarios #seventeen #wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #97.writings #97.yn

[margueritedaisies]

I just love drawing families of fictional characters, its interesting to think of how each sibling would look. I try to make them different from one another but at the same time maintain familial similarities.

Jinzha resembles their mom, Muzha their dad, and Nezha's a good mix of both.

Also get ready with some sibling dynamic rant, mostly relation HCs by me.

Enough with the parent child dynamic

I want sibling dynamic. Where these three come to terms on what happened between them. Specifically Muzha and Nezha's interaction is the one I want to see.

Tbh those two's fates in the myth reminded me of Hyakkimaru and Tahomaru in Dororo.

Like Nezha and Muzha had so much potential to gain solidarity with each other. Because Jinzha could never relate to them as the ignored or unwanted child. Muzha has that middle child stuggle fr.

Muzha is the one so eager to gain their fathers favor trying to meet Jinzha's level . Nezha wants nothing from his father so he makes himself worse.

Muzha's frustration with Nezha is that Nezha is rebellious, disrespectful of their dad

While Nezha's frustration to Muzha is that Muzha is so blinded and always struggling to achieve something so futile. Deep down he hates how Muzha is suffering this way but he wouldnt speak of it. This is why they always at odds.

They should make a movie focusin the Li brothers fr

Other than overusing the actual myths.

Fuck the ending from the original myth, they didnt even consider how the children felt from all the abuse. Not even mention of Muzha's death.

Enough Ao Bing, what about Muzha???

And the moral lesson is just about "respecting elders"?? The story still had so much to wrap up. How can you call this a family if there is some sort of hierarchal system. A family requires empathy to maintain that connection.

Tbh its kinda realistic

Families and siblings can still inflict trauma from each other .And a story based on reconcilation is a good way for this to be about family counselling.

I wanna see the "what ifs". It could be each brothers own story of self healing from the trauma caused on each other.

Maybe Im getting my hopes up too much, but it could be a development for them to forgive, start anew and an opportunity to connect and catch up on what they missed on each other.

Edit:

As for Jinzha he also has his own struggles as the eldest. Keeping up the station as the golden favored and perfect son. But its Asian family dynamics, which means hes in a lot of pressure. But he is mentally and emotionally strong. The brothers always busy on his studies ,future responsibilities and training to be able to spend time together. Their timetables seemed to be planned out to always not meet. Jinzha especially had less freetime. And if he ever came across any of his brothers, it was only one of them never both.

He doesnt mind being a buffer for the other two feuding but it does stress him out that it will never change. But he'll make sure to give time and attention to both of them as much as he can.

Other than keeping up his fathers expectations he also doesnt want to fail as a big brother to them🥺😭

Muzha and Nezha can see his efforts so they do not dare hold anything against him. Muzha still keeps his competitive attitude when Jinzha's around but accepts any offered kindness from Jinzha. While Nezha enjoys his company when he gets the chance.

Also because I tend to hold on to this little bit of bonding😭🥺🥺Jinzha trying to be the best big bro

Thinking of the contrast in the future where Jinzha was tasked to torture Nezha destroyed me😭😭😭What did Jinzha even feel while he had to do it??

Also here some Nezha with his hair down again

#li nezha #li muzha #li jinzha #nezha #nezha fanart #nezha lmk #character hc #sibling dynamics #li brothers #investiture of the gods