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ncssian · 3 years

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A Favor: Part Three

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: tw for abuse mention. i hope this chapter is readable bc a lot of it was written when i should've been sleeping.

***

“...expecting heavy snow, possibly even a snowstorm, by the end of the week.” The TV blares softly in the background as Nesta types away on her laptop propped on the arm of the couch. The fireplace is up and crackling, and Cassian has to stop in the threshold between kitchen and living room to take in the scene. He’s getting a little too used to this, he worries sometimes. She’ll be gone as soon as her apartment is fixed, he reminds himself, and pushes off the wall to circle the couch and approach Nesta.

He sets the steaming mug of coffee down on the table before her and takes a seat beside her. She doesn’t even stop typing as she glances up and murmurs a “thank you” before returning to her paper.

Cassian doesn’t want to interrupt her work, so he settles into the comfortable habit of watching her. They watch each other a lot— Nesta claims it’s because she’s bored and there’s nothing else to look at. Cassian has no such delusions.

She’s in a wool sweater and thick leggings today. Her hair is pulled back in a worn braid and her glasses are pushed all the way up her nose, but what catches Cassian’s attention tonight is the way her baby hairs escape her braid and frizz around her temples. Yesterday it was the way her cheeks flushed in the firelight, and the day before it was those damn glasses. Today it’s baby hairs.

The fantasy is quick and sneaky, there in his mind before he’s even aware of it.

Getting up to sit on the floor before her. Nudging her legs apart with slow hands while her fingers stutter over the keyboard. Pushing the hem of her sweater up, and pulling her leggings down. “Focus on your work,” he says when she tries to push her laptop away. “Finish your paper for me.” Tracing the inside of her thighs with his lips until his head is right—

The slam of a laptop snaps Cassian out of it. Nesta makes a frustrated growl and rubs her hands across her face before shoving her laptop aside to reach for the coffee.

He raises a brow, endlessly amused by everything she does. “Writing troubles?”

“I deserve a break,” she grumbles.

“I could help with that.”

Tucking her feet beneath her legs, Nesta ignores him and gestures at the TV with her chin. “Think we’ll get snowed in?”

Cassian almost hopes so. Any excuse to build more fires and stay inside with Nesta. “I’ll have to make a shopping trip,” he says casually. “You want anything?”

“I want to be in a state where there aren’t blizzards in October.” She looks over at him. “I miss Tennessee.” It’s a simple admission that brings Cassian to attention. She never gives out details about herself unprompted.

“I didn’t know you still got homesick.” Feyre never talks about her childhood in Tennessee. The only indicator of the Archeron sisters’ pasts is Elain’s sweet little Southern belle accent, which Cassian has a feeling is more for show at this point than anything else.

Nesta shrugs awkwardly in response, but he keeps going. “Rhys’s mom had a summer house in the Smokies. We would go down there each year without fail until college.” Rhys thinks it was fate that the summer home was so close to the small mountain town where Feyre grew up. Cassian thinks that’s a stretch.

“Yeah?” Nesta sips her coffee. “Have you gone back since?”

He shakes his head. “Rhys and Feyre are renovating it right now. You should come vacation with us when it’s done.” He perks up at the sudden idea.

Nesta gives him that familiar weird look from the corner of her eye. “Mm-hm,” she hums noncommittally.

“I’m serious,” Cassian insists. “We could have fun.” He’s already imagining it, getting to show Nesta around the place he grew up. Hearing what she has to say about the rocks and corners he would hurt himself on when he played with his brothers, maybe even hearing about her childhood in the Smokies. But Nesta looks stuck, unsure of how to turn him down.

“It doesn’t sound like a good idea,” she states finally. “I wouldn’t be welcomed there, and I would be the odd outlier the entire time at best.”

Cassian already knows Nesta has no interest in getting friendly with the rest of Feyre’s friend group, and he can respect that. But he still wants her there.

“You wouldn’t have to hang out with everybody there,” he says. “You’d have me and your sisters. That’s three whole people.”

She looks surprised at that. “Since when did I have you?”

Oh. Cassian shrugs. “We’re friends, right? I like you, so you have me.”

She straightens even further at that. He continues without waiting for her reply. “That’s why I want you to vacation with us. I like you, and I’d like having you there.”

Nesta sits back against the couch, staring at him, and then her coffee, then him. “This is new,” she finally says.

Cassian is lost. “What is?”

She considers for a moment, chewing her lip. “I’ve had people say they love me,” she says slowly, “but I don’t think anyone has ever liked me very much.”

The words are so incomprehensible that Cassian just sits there like a fool. She’s making even less sense than when she told him she used to come around to Feyre’s all the time and he never noticed. “I don’t get it. Who doesn’t like you?”

Nesta frowns deeply. “Don’t make me come up with a list. It’s not nice.”

Cassian might need a list, because he wants to have words with these people. “Okay, then. Why wouldn’t anybody like you?”

Nesta’s eyes narrow into a glare and she scoffs like he just said something offensive. “Jesus, I don’t know. Why don’t you call up my ex and ask if you care so much?” She sets her empty mug down and stands up, gathering her laptop and notes as she goes.

Cassian doesn’t know what he said wrong. “Wait, Nes—”

“Thanks for the coffee, I’m going to finish my work in my room.” She pushes her glasses up her nose and speedwalks out of the room, ignoring Cassian’s calls to wait.

***

Cassian can’t sleep that night knowing Nesta is upset with him. He tried knocking at her door when he came upstairs an hour after Nesta had, but the lights were off and he received no reply. Now in bed, he listens to the howl of late autumn wind outside and goes over everything Nesta said earlier.

She misses Tennessee. She feels that nobody likes her. She has an ex that definitely doesn't like her.

It's the last two details that bother Cassian the most. He’s about to spiral into another hour of overthinking when his phone lights up on the nightstand.

Subconsciously thinking it's a text from Nesta, his hand shoots for his phone. He has to smother his disappointment when he sees it's only Feyre checking in.

Feyre: how are things going with nesta? is she causing u any trouble?

Maybe he’s still upset about his conversation with Nesta, but the text rubs him the wrong way. Nesta sounds like a pet or a rowdy child.

Cass: not at all. she’s perfect

He quickly erases that last word and hesitates, trying to think of another one.

she’s lovely wonderful great. He settles on great and clicks send.

A reply pops up a few seconds later.

Feyre: lmao sure

Cassian frowns at his phone. What’s that supposed to mean?

Another text appears: just tell me if you need anything and i’ll take care of it. i know this isnt easy.

What isn’t easy? Having a roommate? Cassian replies, We don’t need anything, we’re fine. He uses capitalization and everything, feeling offended for some reason. And then, not really wanting to see a reply from Feyre, he turns his phone off and leaves it facedown on the nightstand.

He shuffles deeper under the covers and pushes his friend out of his mind, thinking about ways to make up with Nesta tomorrow instead.

***

Nesta stays up all night berating herself for how she reacted to Cassian’s innocent question. She wasn’t expecting him to pry for details because no one ever pries into her life, and she freaked out instead of rationally assessing the situation.

A part of her is satisfied now, having seen this coming from a mile away. It happens with everyone she meets, when she says or does something wrong and inevitably pushes them away. Maybe she should keep pushing him away, and keep him at arm’s length for the rest of her time here.

A larger part of Nesta is embarrassed at having caused a scene, and worse, mentioning Tomas. Because that’s exactly where her mind went when Cassian asked that question— to the man who used to say he loved her, but who never truly liked her. Intrusive memories from years past attack Nesta until the sky outside turns a light gray: dressing up for fancy business events and having his arm wrapped around her waist in an illusion of affection. Him pinching her side hard enough to make tears spring to her eyes when nobody was looking and leaning into her ear to lovingly whisper everything wrong with her that night. Going home and having makeup sex.

She’s still flustered from Cassian and can’t keep the thoughts out as well as usual. When she finally does drift off into a restless imitation of sleep, it’s by holding her thumb to her wrist until the steady beat of her pulse soothes her worn nerves.

Nesta wakes up cramping.

It takes her a few moments to pull out of the fog of sleep and recognize the feeling, and she groans aloud. This can’t be happening to her right now.

She was stupidly hoping that her period would hold off until she moved back into her apartment. Her premenstrual cramps are telling her she has two days at most.

She refuses to go through that experience in the same house as Cassian. Her family doesn’t even like being in the same house as her when she’s on her period. Her ex would outright leave their apartment and stay at a friend’s until she got over it. So this…

She groans once more and pulls herself out of bed. A quick phone check tells her it’s only been three hours since she fell asleep, but she’s given up at this point.

Nesta tiptoes hesitantly out of her room, not wanting to face Cassian just yet. It’s only when she reaches the stairs that she realizes the house is unusually quiet, even though it’s almost eleven.

Frowning, Nesta pads into the kitchen to find two things: a covered dish sitting on the island and a green sticky-note stuck to the fridge. She goes for the note first.

In messy handwriting it reads: Went out for groceries. Text me if you need anything. Beneath the words is a dark, almost furious scribble of ink, as if Cassian had written something there only to forcefully scratch it out.

Without overthinking it, she gets out her phone and texts Cassian that she needs pads. It only occurs to her after she’s sent the message that that’s probably not enough information.

Having Cassian know Nesta is on her period is one thing, but him knowing the size of her pad? The heaviness of her flow? She might need to enforce that rule about him never speaking to her again.

In her best attempt to not be viewed as a walking blood gusher, she asks for a smaller size pad than usual and turns her phone all the way off so she can’t see any replies.

Once you’re out of this house you’ll never have to see him again, so it won’t matter if you’re the rude bitch who cried and bled a lot while she was staying at his place.

Going over to the kitchen island, she uncovers the plate she assumes is for her. She isn’t expecting anything much, maybe Cassian’s leftovers from breakfast, so she hesitates when she sees a full stack of chocolate chip pancakes. Carefully decorated with berries and syrup, they’ve long gone cold, but— still.

Nesta reaches out as if they might not be real, or not meant for her, but nothing happens. Mouth tightening, she snatches the plate and grabs a fork.

Cassian comes in through the kitchen door twenty minutes later, long after Nesta’s cleaned off her food and washed the dishes in the sink. He throws her a smile as he shakes snow out of his hair and sets down the bags of groceries on the island by Nesta’s laptop.

“Oh, is it snowing already?” She throws a concerned glance outside, not having noticed while she was working.

“It’s light for now, but it won’t be for long.” He starts taking off his coat, and Nesta gets up to help with the groceries. She quickly finds the bag holding her stuff and discreetly sets it aside, but then Cassian grabs another bag and upturns it, its contents sprawling all over the island. “I don’t know what your period’s like, but we’re gonna be snowed in for a while so I got some of everything just in case.” He looks hesitant.

“Oh— thank you,” she says, overwhelmed. There’s three different types of painkillers, all that she already owns, and ten different types of junk food. And they're all for her. Nesta plucks up a package, stunned. “How are gummy worms supposed to help me on my period?”

Cassian leans his elbows on the marble and shrugs. “They’ll make you happy.”

“I’m allergic to gelatin.”

His face falls. “Oh.”

But Nesta just places the gummies in front of him and starts sorting the rest of the stuff. All the chocolates end up on her side, and the candies and gum and hot chips on Cassian’s side. When she's done, she finds him watching her closely. “Did you want some chocolate?” She offers out a Twix bar, her favorite. “I can trade you.”

“Uh, sure.” He accepts her Twix in exchange for his Hot Cheetos.

Silence ensues as Nesta tears open a Toblerone package and breaks off a triangle of nougat, when she remembers she has to tell him something.

“Thank you.” Her words are out of place and out of nowhere, spoken during the wrong time mark of a film and ruining the rhythm of the scene. Despite this, she powers on. “Thank you for breakfast, but also for this. Thank you for everything, really.”

Cassian perks up. “Did you like breakfast?”

Nesta nods through a mouthful of chocolate. “Chocolate chip pancakes are my favorite, and you’re good at making stuff.”

He raises a dark brow. “You mean cooking?”

“Same thing.”

“Well, I’m glad you liked it.”

Nesta slumps in relief, thinking her necessary talking points are over with. She's thanked him for shopping and for breakfast. What more could be— damn.

She clears her throat, even though she doesn't know what to say yet. She won't apologize— she doesn't know if she's physically capable of it, to be honest, but she can still seem regretful.

“Are we over last night?” she says bluntly. So much for regretful.

Cassian seems startled that she's even brought it up, which is perhaps a good sign that he already forgot about it. “Of course,” he says. “Nesta, I really didn't mean to offend you—”

Oh god, he’s not over it. “Don't apologize,” Nesta demands, throwing her hands up to ward him off. “You didn't even do anything, why would you apologize?”

“Well, you looked upset,” he says seriously. Cassian’s apologetic face looks an awful lot like hurt, though Nesta doesn't know why he would possibly feel hurt. Still, she has to pin her stare to the dark cabinets so he can't hurt her in turn. He keeps talking. “I know I promised to push your boundaries, but I never want to hurt you.”

His sincerity is more than disarming; it makes her ache.

“And I hated not talking to you last night.”

That gets Nesta's attention, and she suddenly feels two things at once: a swoop of joy that he likes talking to her, and a heavy drop of guilt that she ignored him all last night, even when he knocked on her door and apologized profusely.

“I fell asleep early,” she decides to lie. “I wasn't ignoring you.”

Cassian smiles softly and reaches out to brush a thumb over the tired circles under her eyes. “I can tell,” he says.

She's gone dead still, but she doesn’t flinch. She doesn't even want to flinch. Cassian clears his throat and drops his hand, and Nesta’s eyes follow him closely. “We’re good,” she says in finality. “Let’s go back to normal now.”

Cassian nods, his face carefully blank. “Okay. Then stop stuffing your face and help me with the rest of the groceries.” He moves off the island and elbows her on the way.

That makes Nesta smile, which makes Cassian smile even harder, and just like that, they’re back to normal.

***

a/n: two things: 1) cassian definitely texted feyre that morning and asked what nesta’s favorite breakfast was, and 2) can you tell im in love with writing nesta archeron?

tagging: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @sensitiveillyrian @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08

#a favor #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #ncssianwrites #nessian fic

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allie1804-fan · 3 years

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Kerensa Part 2

This is a continuation of Kerensa Part 1 which you can find here

Kerensa (Part 1)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 , Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13

Kerensa (Part 2)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Adjusting

The GP took Kerry’s details and suggested, given her age and history, that she use her private medicine to see a pregnancy specialist to get an early scan and review her care.

A week later, Kerry found herself sitting in the waiting room at St Mary’s Hospital Paddington. The consultant was a lady in her early 60s who asked her history and took all the details of the 2 miscarriages. Then she asked Kerry to pop up on the bed ready for a scan. She eased her jeans and knickers down and the consultant smeared on the cold jelly and started to move the wand over her belly. Kerry held her breath looking at the screen, remembering the times when nothing could be seen or a still image of a dead embryo was there.

After a few moments, the consultant announced

“There you are, little tyke hiding.”

Tears fell then as Kerry looked at the tiny kidney bean shape on the screen flickering away.

The consultant squeezed her hand, understanding the emotion of the moment.

Measurements were taken and they aligned with a pregnancy of 8 weeks. She could also see the signs of a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome which does come with a slightly elevated risk of miscarriage, possibly explaining the first 2 lost pregnancies years ago as well as the struggle previously to get pregnant and the occasionally irregular periods. Kerry’s biggest fear was that it would happen again. The consultant’s main advice was folic acid and rest but based on how anxious Kerry was, she also suggested that she didn’t fly back to LA until she’d reached 12 weeks. This wasn’t due to any real risk but having experience of many pregnant women with fertility and or loss issues, she knew that they could blame themselves for a loss based on the tiniest thing that probably had nothing to do with it, but they would beat themselves up all the same.

“So go somewhere you feel calm - you said you’re a writer didn’t you?So I guess you can do that anywhere” Kerry nodded thinking of her argument with Keanu.

“and we’ll book you in for another scan at 12 weeks and after that, you can head back to LA and your partner”

A few days later, Kerry was on the train headed for Penzance. She’d had a few quick phone calls with Keanu since being back in UK – she was relieved that he hadn’t been able to video call as the only time that worked was when he was heading out to set at 7am their time as he wasn’t getting back til 10 at night when she would be asleep again, so quick phone calls were the easiest thing along with the odd text when he was waiting around on set. He had another couple of weeks on location which took them, unbeknown to him, to her 11th week. She said she’d try to schedule her return to coincide with his, counting on saying later that she couldn’t get a flight with the dog travel in time to get around why she wasn’t going to make it.

The consultant was right that being somewhere where she felt calm would help and Kerry settled back to her old Sennen routine of walks on the beach and writing. The sickness was pretty bad during weeks 9 and 10 but was settling as she headed into week 11. She even found herself hopeful enough to work out the due date of December 1st though she didn’t dare write it down anywhere!

The shoot was over and Keanu was due home, but she hadn’t spoken to him in a few days since the end of the shoot was frantic, followed by a wrap party and then he had to travel home. When he finally called, from LA this time rather than Florida, he was disappointed that she hadn’t made it back. Kerry finessed her excuse about the flight saying she’d been about to book the one to be there by now but Scout had got an abscess on her paw and she wanted to be sure he was fully recovered before booking the flight. He accepted this and offered to get his PA on the case to help secure something as soon as she was confident that Scout was OK. When he did call his PA though, he had a different idea. He hoped Kerry would like it. She hadn’t been very chatty on their call and he worried that absence hadn’t made the heart grow fonder or that she’d realised she preferred life in Sennen alone to life in LA with him.

Truth be told, she was still concerned about their relationship, could they make it work with their work commitments? Had it been a flash in the pan, a whirlwind romance and not true love? But she missed him so much and she could see the care in his eyes when they spoke – her worries based on Autumn’s comments had eased and she planned to make arrangements to fly back to LA as soon she’d had the 12-week scan.

3 days later, Kerry took Scout for her usual late morning walk and tired them both out with the fresh air and exercise. After a quick sandwich, she lay down on the sofa for a nap and Scout curled up in his basket.

Keanu’s car pulled up at the house in Sennen at 2pm. He thanked the driver, hauled his bag from the car boot and made his way to the kitchen door. It was a warm day and he found it open. He called out but nobody answered so he dropped his bag and went in search of Kerry. He found her still sleeping on the sofa, a snuggle blanket draped over her and her hair held back in a loose ponytail. Scout was still sleeping, fortunately, so there was no excited barking to disturb Kerry’s sleep. She looked different to him somehow but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He thought it was probably just being out in the sea air more that had given her cheeks a soft glow.

He decided to leave her sleeping and make himself a coffee so he crept back to the kitchen. The sounds of him finding a cup and filling the kettle floated through to the living room and Scout stirred making a quiet bark as he trotted through.

“Hello boy, it’s just me” Keanu cooed in a low voice giving him a rub on the head. He went to the fridge to fetch the milk and stopped in his tracks.

That’s how Kerry found him as she stumbled through sleepily wondering what the noise was.

@fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @omg-imagine @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @paperplanesandwallflowers @witty-wallflower @karlee1225 @bitchyslut99 @toomanystoriessolittletime @ladyreapermc @kissmyromanticquote @tacticalchics @utterlynuts @kylosbitch @thebigbubowski @thelightnessofthebeing @gatsbynouvel @keanuficfiles @fanficsrusz @jardaniswife @cheezbort @mazzylana97 @maggiemoo1892 @girlfriday007 @siriussnape07 @yomnaislame @soarocks @fadingkideclipseempath @franny-banks-world @keanulowe @babylovejongin @lucky134ever @jasmindaughteroftheworld @tomorrowsanotherday @fokinqueen @littlefreya @leftyreea @wheretheriversrunintothesea @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @fickenstein @popacherryvisitalibrary @aah8903 @thethirstyarchive @cynic-spirit @australianpsychos @meetmeinthematinee

#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu fanfic #keanu fanfiction #keanu #keanu reeves #keanu reeves ofc

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chil2de · 3 years

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Oh take as long as you need love, hope you were able to get the furniture you wanted and that the remodelling’s going well, love you - 🥰

i will sell you my entire soul, a kidney or literally a lung for ur forgiveness because i’ve been mia for ages LMFAOO

i’ll talk about myself afterwards!!! i heard about your exams baby, i’m so fucking happy that you passed! i had a premonition since the start and i knew you had it in you :D believe me when i say i started grinning, u better have celebrated and treated urself to some nice things!!!!!!!

congrats on the reread! i have to give major kudos in the first place that you even had the patience to go through with it in the first place, no because seriously that’s genuine dedication it’s mindblowing. like. you would sit there and read through all my old works?🥺🥺 ur my no.1 contender of giving me heart problems istgggg

i’m totally fine if you wanna keep sending asks instead, i genuinely don’t mind and i’d prefer for you to be comfortable. so whatever you do end up choosing, i’ll support it regardless!

it’s been a while so maybe you read up on the jjk manga? mayhaps? lemme know, cause i’m interested to hear about it! i swear jjk came back as well, i saw some of the recent chapters briefly

the jjk shirts sold out super fast but i managed to grab a white one with four panels of the curses on em, the one with jougo, m*hito sukuna and someone else who is probably not of importance if i can’t remember their name LMAO— it’s nice!! the material is 100% cotton so its one of those stiff-er(?) shirts, 10/10 would recommend for you to get one the next time they’re in stock again

i remember very faintly how i said i’d recommend you some anime LMFAO excuse me it’s 5am as i write this but i was extremely hellbent on getting back to you before sleep <3 dont wanna worry ya

you should totally check out oregairu whenever you can, or maybe violet evergarden? they’re not similar in any way shape or form to gintama, jjk, hq etc but.. they hold a special place in my heart ;; i suck at explaining without accidentally spoiling things or rambling for ages so check out the blurb for them whenever you can ! plus the animation in ve is absolutely stunning

and yeah, i’m from england! i get you completely djghdhg it’s just because most fic writers are american so at a certain point i just wired it into my brain, then whenever i meet someone who’s from england i just get so excited it’s like ?? wow?? you know what anime is? i hope that doesn’t sound rude LMAO it’s just how i said before that the lack of anything anime related here is horrid. esp waterstones, like you said. god that’s awful. i recently caught up on the haikyuu manga online but i wanna support the author by buying the volumes and they’re literally sold out or sold in strange numbers </3

aside from that, how have you been?? taking care of yourself? happy september, btw! it’s basically autumn now, an absolute shocker of a fact but i’m trying my first ever psl whenever starbucks releases them here~

tysm as per usual for your kind complimentsss AAAA u have no right!! absolutely no right to make me blush. genuinely a crime, you should be locked away and kept under supervision :<<< thank youuuu you are the sweetest angel to walk this earthhh~

i’m starting to slowly try to ease myself back into writing for gintama lmaoo, it’s a slow process but i’ll get there eventually!! just gotta wait for my hyperfixations to shift, is all

as for me, the remodelling’s going pretty good! i’ve picked up most of the things i’ve needed like paint, new led strips and bed sheets. i made a grave mistake of buying a mirror from ebay and it smashed in transit LGMHJJD it’s okay you can laugh cause i totally did too, so i’m going up to ikea again next week to get that plus a bed because mine broke? it just.. collapsed? also very funny i promise you it’s not tragic at all <3

thinking of covering up a wall where my pc’s going to go with manga panels, especially haikyuu and blue lock (another sports manga, it’s about football! 10/10 would recommend) because the panels are just *chefs kiss* especially... miya atsumu... damn like timeskip tsumie just hits so different idk why, plus some sneaky gintama panels to help me forget that i still haven’t watched the movie and refuse to watch it. that’s a lie, actually. i got 30 mins in before i quit cause it felt like i was going to violently sob /j

sorry if i missed anything that you said! pinky promise i read it but my brain might’ve short circuited, u definitely have permission to bully me into it if i did forget (i say this like you’re not a kind soul and you wouldn’t just remind me nicely in a soft tone LMAO)

yeah!!! they do have cutouts, they shouldn’t let me and u near them tho cause we’ll end up taking a few home LMAO

first class tickets hell yeahhhh here we go🥺🥺🥺 i call dibs on paying for the shinkansen!!! we can go to the anime district, get some cool merch! akihabara? i think? pretty sure! also does japan sell squishmallows? everyone keeps talking about them but no one sells them in the uk... i want to expand my stuffed animal collection but build a bear charges like 40 quid for no good reason (that sentence in itself was the epitome of being british)

alright that’s a goodnight from me! i hope you’re having an absolutely great day/night/ evening, if not, hope it’s tolerable instead (:

take a sip of water<3

#🥰 anon #💌.png

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soobiniebaby · 3 years

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Angels & Devils Part XVI : Time’s Up

Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

Yeonjun’s night wasn’t going so well.

All he wanted was to take his girlfriend to one of the biggest school dances of the year, to pick her up from apartment and have his breath taken away but how undoubtedly gorgeous she’d look, to hold her hand in the backseat of his car and maybe toast with a glass of white wine as his driver takes them to the dance, to take silly and sweet photographs as they enter the venue, to watch every guy’s drop as he walks in with her drop-dead gorgeous self into the hall, to hold her close and whisper sweet nothings in her ear while they slow dance under the twinkling lights and fall petals floating down, and to make it a night they’ll never forget as they make their way back to her place after the dance for their own private “afterparty.”

Yet, he found himself in a throng of kids around his age who he knew would be able to live as lavishly and extravagantly as they wanted to without having to work a single day in their lives, striving to make dull conversations about who threw the latest reckless parties and who hooked up with who and who did this that and so on and so forth. For a “business” party, and it was less on networking and more on gossiping and hooking up for these kids. When his father sprung his mandatory attendance at this event, Yeonjun had initially thought of asking B to come with him so that they’d at least be able to spend the evening together, whether it be at the Fall Ball or not, and he knew that her presence would make it so much more bearable. But as soon as he heard who was hosting the event, he knew inviting B would be a bad idea. Because the event was being hosted by none other than Kim Jisoo, successor to the biggest Technology Firm in the country.

And Yeonjun was quick to learn that wherever Kim Jisoo went, Park Rose was sure to follow.

And right on cue, he spots her.

Her long red hair fell down her shoulders like a velvet curtain, her figure flaunted by the blue slip dress that hung off her body elegantly. She spots him at the same time and gives him a wave. Again, he feels as if he were transported 2 years back to the past, feeling tongue-tied and breathless in her presence. He shakes it off before waving back to her, and she makes his way towards him.

“Hey babe, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon.” Rose says, instinctively leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“It’s a party hosted by Kim Jisoo, so my father forced me to come tonight. And I’m not your babe.” he says, though he makes no move to avoid her kiss on his cheek.

“Sorry, I guess it feels a bit weird seeing you again after we’ve broken up. It’s a habit, I guess.” she says, giggling. “Did you come here alone tonight? No friends? Where’s your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, my friends and girlfriend are actually at MO Academy for the Fall Ball. I’m actually gonna ditch this party as soon as I can then head on over to the school dance, but don’t tell Jisoo cause she might not let me go so easily.” he says, taking a sip out of the champagne in his glass.

“Ah, the Fall Ball. I remember how beautiful the last one was. Remember, they covered the whole dance floor with autumn leaves? Then I sprained my ankle when that song by Twice came on and I couldn’t help but dance along.” Rose laughs, fondly remembering the evening. “A swollen ankle wasn’t enough to spoil our little afterparty at The Eastwood though.” she says, referring to the hotel they had booked that night and the hours they spent tangled in the sheets.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be even better this year since the guys and I are the student council leaders now.” Yeonjun says, brushing off her comments about the past.

Rose pouts. “Come on, lighten up Junnie! No need to pretend that you and I are strangers. We’re friends, right?”

Yeonjun raises a brow. “Yeah, sure, friends.” It was something he never thought of Rose as, but given their situation, it felt like an appropriate label. “As a friend, do you want to go around and do that thing we used to do at lame parties like these?” he says, another memory of them popping up.

Rose giggles, remembering how they used to go around the party, pick a couple or group to watch, and make up dialogue for them. It was a fun and entertaining way to get it through a night like this, surrounded by shallow and stuck up trust fund kids. “Ah, now that’s what a friend at a party like this is for.” she says, her eyes quickly scanning the room before landing on a group of people. “Okay, look over there, let’s call the man Mr. Bass, and let’s say he’s got his arm wrapped around his girlfriend yet he’s so obviously flirting with their companion Mr. Archibald…”

The rest of Yeonjun’s time at the party was spent that way, with him and Rose going around the room, people-watching, dialogue-making, story-telling, sipping on Chardonnay and laughing together just like the good old days. The best dialogue they made up was one between Rose’s own friend group, Jisoo, Jennie and Lisa, wherein the pair of them made up a story about how Jisoo and Lisa were trying to outshine each other for Jennie’s affection.

“Wow, Rose, I have to admit that when I stepped foot into this place, I never would have thought I’d actually have fun tonight.” Yeonjun says after they sneak away in a fit of giggles. “Our dialogues tonight weren’t the best, but I’ve gotta say, the one with Lisa, Jennie and Jisoo was genius. Is there any truth to it, or is it purely fiction?”

“Well I made up the scenario, but honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if a bit of it ended up being true.” Rose says, nursing the wine glass in her hand. “I have to say, I thought tonight would be just another night of me glued to the same 3 girls I’ve been stuck with the past year, so thank you. I had fun with you tonight.”

Yeonjun smiles at her. “Speaking of Jisoo, do you think it would be safe for me to leave now? The dance will be ending in about an hour, and I’d really like to catch at least a bit of it before the night ends.”

“Oh, you can’t just slip out cause that might get you on her bad side. You have to come and say goodbye to her, but don’t worry, I’ve got a fullproof plan to ensure that she’ll let you go.” Rose says, giving him a smile before taking a sip of wine.

“Follow my lead.” Rose whispers to Yeonjun, linking their arms together before approaching Jisoo, Jennie and Lisa.

“Hey girls, where have you been all night? I feel like I haven’t seen you around.” Rose says, greeting the 3.

“We could say the same about you. I was starting to worry about you, I feel like I haven’t seen you all night!” Jisoo exclaims, before her eyes settle on the man Rose had on her arm. “But I guess I had no reason to worry after all, looks like you found yourself some company.” she says, smiling knowingly at the pair. “Hello Yeonjun, I’m glad to see you were able to make it to my party tonight.”

“It’s my pleasure, Jisoo.” Yeonjun says politely. “I really had fun.”

“Yes, tonight was fun, but I hope you don’t mind if I leave and take Junnie here with me?” Rose says, giving a pout. “I think I’ve had a little too much to drink and I’m not feeling well. Yeonjun has offered to drive me home.”

Yeonjun subtly raises a brow at her, but she throws him a quick wink.

“Oh no, are you okay? You look like you should lie down.” Lisa says, her brows furrowed with concern.

“Don’t worry about her, ladies. I’d be glad to give her a ride home and make sure she’s okay.” Yeonjun says, quickly catching on to Rose’s plan.

“Oh, Yeonjun dear, thank you so much!” Jisoo squeals, quickly leaning forward and giving him a peck on the cheek. “You’re such a darling. Thank you for looking out for our dear Rose.”

“No problem at all.” Yeonjun says. “We’ll be on our way now, I think Rose really needs to lie down.” he says to Rose, who dramatically puts a hand over her forehead.

“Yes, I think I really do. Thanks again, Yeonjun. Girls, I’ll see you all soon. And Jisoo, I’m sorry I have to leave early, I promise I’ll make it up to you.” she says, batting her eyelashes at the girls.

Jisoo waves a hand in the air. “Nonsense, your presence here tonight was more than enough. You too, Yeonjun! Thank you for coming tonight.”

The pair waves at the 3 girls one more time before they walk away, snickering and giggling.

“Wow, that was genius. Thanks, Rose.” Yeonjun says. “I guess I’m free to go now. Do you, uh, do you really feel sick? Do you want me to give you a ride home?”

Rose laughs. “Am I that good of an actress? No, I feel perfectly fine, that was just an excuse so Jisoo would let us go. But I wouldn’t mind a ride home, thanks.” she says, smiling at him sweetly. “I mean, you owe me now so it’s only fair that I get a free ride home.”

Yeonjun shakes his head, smiling as he pulls out his phone and texts his driver to pick him up at the front entrance. “Alright, let’s go then.”

Yeonjun had to admit that his evening wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. He was worried that he wouldn’t be able to escape from the party, but here he was in his car with his driver driving away from it. He was dreading having to see his ex again, but he was pleasantly surprised by how her company had made the night tolerable, or fun even. The ride to her house wasn’t a very long one seeing as she lived in the same neighborhood as Jisoo did, but the whole time was spent with the 2 of them laughing and reminiscing, just like the good old days.

“Ah, here we are.” Rose says as the car stops in front of her house. “Junnie, I just wanted to say thank you for tonight.”

Yeonjun smiles at her as his driver gets out of the car and opens the door open for her. “No problem, Rose. I had fun too, thanks to you.”

Rose gives him a smile back, and before he knew it, she was leaning in and he was closing his eyes as her lips met his, melding together like 2 pieces of a puzzle. She tries to deepen the kiss by tangling her hands in his hair, but he pulls away, drawn back to the present-day reality.

“Rose, sorry, I can’t do this. I’m in love with someone else.” he says, his lips stinging as the guilt starts to hit him. “And I’m leaving to go meet up with her right now. Look, I had fun tonight, but like you said, we’re friends. Nothing more.”

Rose sighs, retracting her hands from his shoulders. She sits up, straightening out her dress before she says “Friends. Right, thanks again for tonight Junnie.”

As she stands up and exits the car, she takes one look back at him. “Whoever you love now, I hope they know how lucky they are. But I also hope you know that I don’t think you and I will ever be just friends, and tonight was proof of that. I’ll always love you, Junnie.” she says, giving him a small wave before she walks away, slamming the car door shut behind her.

Yeonjun watches her walk up to the front door, wanting to make sure that she’d make it into her house safely. Once she was out of his sight, he lets out a deep breath, one he didn’t realize he was holding in his chest. He leans back against the car seat, running a hand through his hair. His night wasn’t going the way he thought it would, but hopefully meeting B at the Fall Ball would set things back on track.

Or so he thought.

•°•

He wasn’t expecting the pang of jealousy that hit him when he finally saw B at the Fall Ball.

She was right when she said that his jaw would drop when he saw her dress. She looked breathtaking, and he smiled to himself when he noticed that her blue dress matched his blue hair perfectly. But when he noticed that she was on the dance floor with her face buried in some other guy’s chest and this guy’s hands around her waist, he felt his blood boil.

How dare someone else hold his girlfriend like that.

But as they sway to the music and they shift their positions, Yeonjun finds himself surprised when he finally gets a look at the guy’s face.

It was Soobin. Yeonjun should’ve known by the way he towered over B, and because of the fact that he had asked Soobin to step in for him until he could make it to the dance, but the feeling of seeing him hold B that way shocked Yeonjun.

He felt betrayed.

He trusted Soobin enough to know that he would never make a move on his girlfriend behind his back, but he couldn’t deny the sparks he saw whenever Soobin and B were together. All the way back from the first day of school when Soobin caught her from falling down the front steps of MO Academy, to Hueningkai’s birthday party when Yeonjun was people-watching and he noticed how Soobin had his eyes fixed on B the whole night, to the night of his birthday party when he noticed how flustered Soobin got when he had to kiss B, to tonight when he saw how intimate Soobin and B looked locked in each other arms on the dance floor.

He knew he wasn’t the best boyfriend, especially given the fact that he had kissed his ex girlfriend a total of 2 times now behind his current girlfriend’s back, but he couldn’t help the jealousy that was starting to pound into his ears. He knew that B got jealous too, and maybe she had good reason to given his history with Rose, but those were both mistakes. Those kisses weren’t his fault, and it was only normal for him to feel a little jealous too, seeing her with another guy.

Before he knew what he was doing, his feet were guiding him towards the pair on the dance floor and he finds himself tapping Soobin on the shoulder.

He sees a flash of something in Soobin’s face when he turns and sees Yeonjun standing there, but he ignores it. Instead, he smiles and says “Excuse me, but may I interrupt?”

B’s head snaps out of Soobin’s chest then, her eyes meeting his now, wide with surprise.

“Yeonjun! Y—you’re here.” she exclaims, jumping out of Soobin’s arms and towards Yeonjun.

He smiles at her endearingly. “Hey, Baby. I made it right on time.”

He watches as her eyes shift between him and Soobin before she smiles and gives Yeonjun a hug. He engulfs her in his arms, kissing the top of her head, his nose scrunching up when he realizes that her smell was tainted with hints of baby powder and vanilla. Soobin’s scent.

Soobin gives him a pat on the back then. “Glad you could make it. Cleaned up pretty nicely, too.” Yeonjun smirks. Of course he made sure to look his best. He had an extra shirt, tie and coat tucked away in his car and he changed on the way to MO Academy.

“Are you flirting with me?” he says jokingly. “Thanks for taking care of my Baby for tonight, Soob.” he says, purposely wrapping an arm around B’s shoulders and pulling her to his side.

“Don’t mention it. You 2 enjoy the rest of the night now, I’ll see you back at the table.” Soobin says, flashing a warm smile before he retreats, turning his back to them.

Yeonjun nods at him and watches as he walks away, but before he can get very far, B suddenly takes a step forward and reaches for his arm.

“Soobin, wait.” she says, causing both of the boys to freeze. Yeonjun stares at her hand clutched onto the ends of Soobin’s sleeve as Soobin looks back at her.

“Yes, B?” he asks tentatively. Cautiously.

B’s silent for a moment, and although her back was turned to Yeonjun, he could tell that she was struggling to say whatever it was she wanted to.

“I just wanted to say, um, thank you. For tonight.” she finally says, and Yeonjun feels a pang of guilt in his chest as he recalls how Rose had sad the exact same thing to him earlier that night before they shared a kiss.

“No problem, B. The pleasure was all mine.” Soobin says, smiling warmly at B and giving Yeonjun a small nod before turns and disappears into the crowd.

As Soobin walks away, Yeonjun wraps his arms around B’s waist, resting his chin on her shoulder, mildly disturbed to once again catch a whiff of baby powder and vanilla. He leans in close, close enough so that his lips would brush against her ear as he whispers “You wanna dance, Baby?”

She turns to face him, a bright smile on her face. “I’d love to.” she says.

Yeonjun grins, subtly rubbing his face in the crook of her neck, hoping that some of his scent would rub off on her skin to get rid of Soobin’s smell, before he grabs her hand and spins her around on the dance floor, causing her to squeal and giggle.

Back at table 21, Soobin watches as B lays her head on Yeonjun’s chest, her hands laid on his shoulders as his arms circled around his waist, and he tries to put himself in Yeonjun’s place, which he was in up until a few moments ago. He watches as the 2 of them slowly move to the rhythm of the mellow music, and he watches as Yeonjun plants a gentle kiss on B’s forehead as the song ends, until a new one starts and they start dancing again.

And again.

He watches until Taehyun finally announces that the Jazzed club had already performed their final song for the night, and that the DJ will be accepting song requests.

He watches until Taehyun, Beomgyu and Kai finally get off stage and join him at their table, Yuna eventually joining them too, taking her place beside Kai.

“Soobin?” Taehyun asks, noticing how spaced out Soobin looked.

“Hm?” he responds, his eyes still absentmindedly watching the couples still dancing in the ballroom, or at least, on one couple in particular.

“Are you okay?” Taehyun asks, nudging him until Soobin’s eyes meet his.

Soobin forces a smile. “I’m good, yeah.” he says, leaving Taehyun unconvinced.

Taehyun takes a quick look around their table, making sure that Kai and Yuna wouldn’t hear him, before he leans in a bit closer and says “I saw you dancing with B earlier, and it looked like things were going well. What happened? Where is she?”

Soobin hesitates, chewing on his bottom lip before he tries to subtly tilt his head in the direction of the dance floor. Taehyun follows the direction, confused at first, until he spots a familiar head of blue hair in the crowd and the girl he had his arms around.

“Ah.” Taehyun quietly says, looking back at Soobin with a regretful look in his eyes. He gently pats his hand over his on the table. “So he came.”

Soobin smiles at him again, a little more genuine this time. “Yes, and I’m glad he did. Look how happy she is now that he’s here.”

“Mm-hm, I mean she looked pretty happy when I spotted you 2 on the dance floor earlier, but if it means anything, at least Yeonjun kept his promise. I was worried he wouldn’t make it, knowing how strict his dad is when it comes to business endeavors.” Taehyun says. “When did he get here?”

“Um, about 30 minutes ago?” Soobin says, trying to count the number of times he watched Yeonjun kiss the top of B’s head with every song that ended. “They’ve been dancing since he got here.”

Taehyun raises a brow. “Well, we all know how much Yeonjun loves to dance. I’m sure they’ll stop by the table to rest for a bit though. Are you sure you wanna be sitting here for the rest of the night? You could ask someone to dance with you, or go for some refreshments.” Taehyun offers. “Gyu and I will just resting for a bit before we hit the dance floor.”

“Yeah, my date’s been too busy dealing with last minute crisises all evening, we haven’t danced to a single song.” Beomgyu suddenly butts in, whining.

“It’s crises, not crisises.” Taehyun corrects him, grimacing yet inwardly wondering how he ended up falling for someone who could make such an adorably simple grammatical error. “And I promise we’ll dance soon. I’m just checking on Soobin.”

“Oh no, please, go ahead and dance. You guys should enjoy your evening.” Soobin says, feeling embarrassed now. “You don’t have to worry about me, I’m perfectly fine. I’ll be heading out and making rounds in a bit to check if everything is going smoothly anyway.”

“You heard him, c’mon Tyun, Soobin’s a big boy who can handle himself perfectly fine.” Beomgyu says, tugging on his date’s arm.

Taehyun looks around the table, noticing that Kai and Yuna had already left and were probably somewhere on the dance floor. He gives Soobin one last look before he sighs. “Alright, whatever you say. But if you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know, okay? I’m here for you.” he says, gently squeezing Soobin’s shoulder before letting himself be dragged away by a very persistent Beomgyu.

Soobin watches as Beomgyu drags him right to the middle of the dance floor, the crowd magically parting to let them through. All eyes seem to be following them as Beomgyu flamboyantly wave an arm in the air before holding his hand out to Taehyun, who rolls eyes before taking his hand, letting out a squeal in surprise as Beomgyu suddenly twirls him around before pulling him towards him, the 2 boys chest to chest with Beomgyu’s hands on Taehyun’s waist as they start to sway to the music.

“Wow, look at that. Who knew Gyu and Tyun would be so freaking adorable together?” B says, watching in awe as all eyes lock on the 2 boys in the middle of the dance floor.

“I have to admit, they are pretty cute together.” Yeonjun says, leaning down to whisper in B’s ear. “But I think we’re cuter.”

She giggles as his breath tickles her neck. “Oh, hush. Look at them! They look amazing together.” she says, and right on cue she sees Beomgyu say something in Taehyun’s ear and the younger boy rolls his eyes but then suddenly smiles at the former, unable to stop himself. “They’re definitely cuter than us.”

“Stop saying that, we’re adorable!” Yeonjun huffs. “I even ducked out of that stupid business party and rushed over here just so I could see you tonight.” he pouts playfully. “If that’s not adorable, then I don’t know what that is.”

“Sweet, that’s what it is.” B says, reaching up to cup his face in her hand. “The sweetest, actually. Thanks for being here, Junnie. It means a lot to me.”

He smiles easily, his cheeks warming up as she looks up at him. “It’s my pleasure. Anything for you, Baby.” he says, pulling her closer. “Because I love you.”

Now it was her turn to have her cheeks heat up. She lets out an awkward laugh, flustered. “Thanks again.” she says, not sure if she was ready to tell him she loved him back yet. “How was your evening, by the way? Was the party boring? Are you tired?” she asks, wanting to change the topic.

He laughs, knowing she was shy. “Ah, it wasn’t much of a party. It was more like a gathering of boring rich people trying to out-talk each other about who’s richer and who’s business is doing better and whatnot. It was physically and mentally draining to be there, but I feel so much better now that I’m here with you.” he says, as smooth as ever.

B raises a brow. “You always know what to say, don’t you?” she says. “My feet are starting to kill me in these heels. Do you think we can take a little break and sit at the table?”

Yeonjun nods, easily accepting her suggestion. “Whatever you want, Baby.” he says, leading her away from the dance floor and back to table 21, surprised to see that it was empty.

“Wow, I guess all the guys are busy with their dates.” Yeonjun says, sitting down after pulling a chair for B. “I wonder if Soobin has found someone to keep him company tonight, too.”

B’s eyes search the crowd, spotting their friends one by one, save for the said boy. “Ah, if Soobin’s not at the table he’s either getting some refreshments or dealing with behind the scenes stuff to check if things are running smoothly.”

“How are you so sure he’s not dancing with anyone?” Yeonjun asks, raising a brow.

“I’ve been trying to convince him to ask a girl to dance all night, but I guess he’s just taking his duty as Student Council President too seriously to relax and enjoy himself.” B says, shaking her head.

“That sounds like Soobin.” Yeonjun says, taking a quick peek at his phone before setting it down on the table. “Speaking of refreshments, want anything? I could get you a drink or maybe some snacks?” he offers.

B nods. “Oh, yes please! I mean, I knew you love to dance, but I don’t think I can keep up. I need to rehydrate before I step foot on the dance floor again.”

Yeonjun laughs. “My body’s used to it from all the hours I’ve spent training and practicing.” he says. “Okay, you sit tight and I’ll be right back with a couple of drinks, alright?” he says, planting a quick peck on her forehead before making his way to the refreshments table on the other side of the event hall.

B takes the time alone to marvel at the evening, from the beauty of the event hall to the performances by the Jazzed club to Yeonjun appearing right on time. She crosses her legs under the table, absentmindedly tapping her foot to the beat of the music, counting the number of couples dancing past their table, until she feels a buzz on the table and hears the ring of a message alert tone.

Her eyes instinctively move towards the direction of the sound, moving down leading towards Yeonjun’s phone on the table.

Upon seeing what the notification was for, she wishes that she didn’t follow her instincts.

She feels her entire body go cold, her eyes repeatedly reading the message until the screen goes black, the words etched in her mind. Surely, there must have been some mistake. Maybe she just was just seeing things. Before she can convince herself that her eyes must’ve been playing tricks on her, Yeonjun’s phone rings, the screen lighting up with a new message, the messages displayed on his lock screen clear as day.

Before she could fully stomach what she was seeing, Yeonjun returns to the table with 2 wine glasses in hand, taking his seat next to her. He was saying something about how he spotted a few couples getting a little too intimate on the dance floor, but his voice just sounded garbled to her. All she could do at the moment was try to absorb and make sense of what she saw and figure what she would do about it.

Yeonjun grabs her hand on the table then, snapping her out of her thoughts as he notices that she hadn’t been paying attention to a word he was saying. He turns her palm face up and lightly traces along the lines and creases, knowing how much she liked it when he did that.

“Baby? You okay?” he asks, concern plastered on his face.

She wanted to say ‘Yeah, it’s nothing’ or maybe something like ‘No, but let’s talk about it later.’ But before she could collect her thoughts and compose herself, her mouth spoke out the words without her consent.

“Were you with Rose tonight?”

Yeonjun freezes, his hand going still over hers, and her heart sinks as she realizes that it was true.

“Why would you think that, Baby?” he asks carefully, and her heart sinks further, lurching somewhere in the pit of her stomach.

“Yeonjun. Were you with her tonight, and did you give her a ride home?” she asks, and when he doesn’t respond, she continues. “You left your phone face up on the table when you left to get drinks. And while you were away, the screen lit up with a text message from her. I wasn’t trying to snoop or anything, I never had any reason to doubt you or feel the need to worry about you hiding anything from me. Until now, that is. All I did was look down and I saw it without even meaning to, so if you were gonna hide it from me, you should have tried harder. Heck, it’s like you didn’t even try to hide it at all.”

“Baby, no—” he begins, but B’s eyes widen as another thought comes into her mind and she interrupts him, the words pouring out of her mouth as the thoughts enter her mind.

“Oh god, you didn’t even try, did you? You were with her and you didn’t even try to hide it. Is it cause you wanted me to find out? Is this your way of saying that you don’t wanna be with me anymore? Is this your messed up way of letting me know that you’ve been seeing her and maybe you didn’t know how to tell me so you leave your phone here on purpose so I’ll see it and get the hint?”

“It’s not like that.” Yeonjun says, his eyes trying hard to relay what he was feeling.

“I get it. You wanted to be with her tonight so you go to that stupid business party but then come here to break things off with me? Or heck, maybe you wanted to get lucky with me tonight before breaking things off with me to be with her, is that it? That’s what Choi Yeonjun does, love ‘em and leave ‘em, right?” she says, her tone becoming less shocked and confused and more frantic and spiteful.

Yeonjun looks at her, the hurt in his eyes apparent in his face. She was spiraling, the thoughts swirling around in her head growing more twisted and mixed up the more she thought about it, but she couldn’t help it. Her thoughts were coming out unbidden, as if her mind was flooded and her mouth was a stream just letting it all out

“Baby, Baby please, listen to me. Let’s go outside, someplace quiet.” Yeonjun says, standing up and begging her with his eyes to follow him. “Baby please, come on.” he pleads, lightly tugging on her hand.

She takes a deep breath and nods almost mechanically, standing up and following his lead. As he guides her through the crowded event hall and out into the hallway, he keeps looking back at her to see if she was still following, but whenever his eyes met hers, it felt like she wasn’t even there. They pass by Soobin on their way out, speaking to the security team at the entrance about the guest list and the tickets. When Soobin catches sight of Yeonjun looking tense and B following behind him, he’s confused. When his eyes meet Yeonjun’s, they’re full of nothing but concern, but Yeonjun just shakes his head at him without stopping.

He only stops when they reach the parking lot, the sound of music playing from the event hall almost inaudible outside in the chill of the night. As a gust of cold wind blows between them, he attempts to offer her his coat to keep her warm, but she holds her hand up, unbothered by the cold.

“Yeonjun. I need you to tell me what’s going on right now, because I swear, I’m going out of my mind trying to comprehend what I saw.” B says, her voice oddly calm and detached.

Yeonjun takes a deep breath before he begins, saying a little prayer that things would go well. “Okay, yes, I was with Rose tonight. The business party I attended was hosted by Kim Jisoo, and if my birthday party was any indication, where Kim Jisoo is, Rose naturally would be there too.” Yeonjun admits. “I wanted to invite you to come to the party with me, but I knew how excited you were for the Fall Ball and I didn’t want to ruin your night by forcing you to come to this stupid party with my ex present, so I thought it would be better if I simply stopped by the party for a bit and then spend the rest of my night here with you.”

“So is that supposed to make me feel better? And what makes you so sure I would’ve preferred going to the dance without you over going to some stupid party with you?” B asks, her frustration growing. “Why did you make that decision for me? And if you felt so forced to attend this stupid party, why did you have to spend the evening with her? Why did she feel the need to text you then? Were you hanging out with her the whole time? Did you even try to keep your distance from her after I’ve told you how uncomfortable I feel about you with her?”

“Baby, that’s not fair, I was just—”

“You know what’s not fair? You attending a party knowing fully well that your ex would be there. No, wait, I know your attendance at the party and the attendance of your ex at the party is something beyond your control, but Yeonjun, you could’ve at least told me about it! You could’ve given me a heads up, you could’ve simply let me know instead of doing it behind my back.”

“Baby, the only reason I didn’t tell you is because I didn’t want to ruin your night and I didn’t want you to feel bad. I was just trying to protect you!” Yeonjun says, his voice raising slightly when hers did.

B looks at him incredulously. “Wow, protect me? By lying to me? Yeonjun, I’d rather live with the hard cold shitty truth than live in blissful ignorance with a lie. And can you honestly say that the only reason you hid this from me was to protect me? There’s no other reason why you didn’t tell me?”

Yeonjun hesitates, only for a moment, but seeing it made B flinch. Over the course of their relationship, there were a few things that she had taken notice of about Choi Yeonjun. When he was excited about something, his voice would go a few octaves higher. When he was nervous about something, he would bounce on the balls of his feet nonstop. And when he was lying about something? He would take a deep breath and his eyes would fall to the ground, which is exactly what he did just now.

Upon seeing her flinch, Yeonjun starts to panic, feeling a sense of alarm, as if he could either make or break the situation depending on how the next few moments play out, as if there were a ticking time bomb and he only had a few minutes to defuse it before it exploded.

“Baby, look, Rose means nothing to me. Seeing her tonight was just a chore, and I only hung around her cause my father wants me to stay on Kim Jisoo’s good side, and you know she and Rose are close friends—” he reaches for her, hoping that his touch would break down her walls, but she steps away from him.

“Okay, let’s just cut the crap. I am willing to let this go, to forget all about this and merrily move on and dance the night away with you if you honestly tell me one thing.” B says.

Yeonjun looks at her hopefully, nodding eagerly. “Yes, yes, alright, what is it?”

B takes a deep breath. “Has anything ever happened between you and Rose since we started dating?”

She watches as the hopeful light in Yeonjun’s eyes dies, his face dropping and his shoulders sagging, and she feels her heart break into a million pieces.

“Thanks. That’s all I needed to know.” she says, her voice cracking as her hands start to shake.

“I’m sorry. Baby, I’m sorry, but I promise, it wasn’t that bad, it was barely even—” he begins again, but she couldn’t handle it anymore. All she could feel was her heart being torn out of her chest and bleeding out on the pavement. She squeezes her eyes shut.

“Yeonjun.”

B could feel the heat behind her eyes, knowing that tears were threatening to fall. She could feel heart pounding out of her chest, her hands shaking as she bunches them into fists at her side, clenching them together to stop herself from falling apart right then and there. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” she continues, knowing that it was true.

“Baby, please, wait.” Yeonjun pleads, taking a step forward and reaching a hand out towards her. She closes her eyes and takes a small step back, keeping the distance between them. He visibly flinches, hurt by her aversion, but he continues to speak. “Please, take 3 deep breaths and try to calm down. Hear me out. Please.”

B keeps her eyes shut, shaking her head. “Yeonjun, no. I can’t do this. I don’t know how I can possibly get past this. I don’t think I could ever let this go.” How did her night go so horribly wrong? She was wearing the most beautiful dress she had ever laid her eyes on, she was having a blast at the Fall Ball, dancing her heart out letting go of all the worries she had, and she had been surrounded by people who she knew loved and cared for her.

So how the hell did she get here?

Yeonjun feels his heart drop. “So what do you want to happen now? What do you want me to do? Tell me anything, and I’ll do it. Baby, I’ll do anything for you. Just please tell me how I can make this right.” he starts, pleading helplessly as he feels her pulling away.

“You want to know what I want to happen?” B asks, gathering up the strength to look him right in his eyes, tears falling down from her own as she says, “I want this to stop. This, us, this evening, this pain, this nightmare, I just want this all to stop. I think the best thing you could do for me now is just let me go, don’t make this hurt any more than it already does. Just let me go.” she says, now pleading as well, tears now spilling uncontrollably down her face. “Yeonjun, please, just let me go.”

“Baby, please, don’t.” Yeonjun says, his voice cracking as what she was saying hits him, knocking the air out of his lungs as his breaths start to come out in sharp gasps, his eyes damp with tears that threatened to fall.

B shakes her head, taking a shaky breath and biting her lip to stop it from quivering. She takes one last look at him looking painfully beautiful with is blue hair blowing in the wind, his soft eyes looking at her like a lost child, his plump lips shaking as he tries not to cry. She takes one last moment to look at the boy she loved before she says

“This is goodbye, Yeonjun. I’m breaking up with you.” •°• Author’s note: Thank you so much for your patience!! The past few weeks have been very hectic. The typhoon that hit my country a few days ago and the 2 days I spent without electricity definitely didn’t help, but alas, here’s chapter 16!! Please let me know what you think, don’t be afraid to leave a message, anonymous or not, cause my asks are open!! I’m still trying to figure out how to make my Tumblr more easy to navigate, but don’t be afraid to reach out to me!! Don’t forget to stream We Lost The Summer MV!!

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fizzypunks · 4 years

Text

A Shirker’s Headfirst Slide Into Love and Other Feelings

fandom: naruto word count: 9k/complete rating: t summary: shikamaru is dumb when it comes to love, and neji is very perceptive.

AO3

note: unbetaed and an experiment in trying to write them together :) thank u for reading!

The sun setting behind them would normally be reason enough for them to set up camp, with traps and protection, and maybe a bedroll if they felt tired enough. It would have been normal procedure to wait the night out, take guard shifts, and rest as much as possible. That’s, at least, what Shikamaru knew he should have suggested, and he knows that it’s too late to go back on it now.

“Shikamaru, I know you want to get home,” Neji said, a long distance between the two as Neji was following up the tail end of their two-person mission. “But it’s not worth wasting the time we could be resting right now. We should set up for the night.”

Shikamaru kept his pace in the trees, a cautious speed that didn’t suggest danger, but might have implied some urgency. “It’s not about what I want, Neji, it’s about getting out of Mist lands.”

“We’ve been out for well over thirty minutes, Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru almost shook his head in defiance, quickly checking himself and remaining as collected as he wished he felt. He knew this information too, but he couldn’t stop. Not even to make an excuse that made sense.

“Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru was decidedly ignoring his companion, but even the act of avoidance and silence was enough to bring some pink to his ears.

He doesn’t know why he had to be paired up with the Hyuuga, and up until now he was certain he would be able to handle it. To deal.

Deal? Deal with what? Keep your head on mission.

To ignore Neji, and all the associated and ridiculous feelings that come with not ignoring him. The silence between them used to be easy -- maybe Neji used to be stuck up and very much the picture perfect image of a cold-hearted Hyuuga, but since the tides shifted and they’ve taken on Shinobi duties together, that impression of a distant and unbothered Neji faded into the past like leaves to the wind.

Maybe it’s harder to ignore him now. Maybe it’s been a horrifying process to realize how seamlessly he went from distant, methodical team-mate to the person who he looks forward to talking with, and spending silence in with, and playing shogi with, and so, so much more --

“Shikamaru!”

A hand came to tug on his shoulder, light and just to grab attention as they bounded across the tree tops.

Shikamaru blinked, eyes pulled to the present suddenly as Neji’s voice came in loud and strong and just beside him.

Shikamaru sighed, feet bracing for an immediate stop -- maybe it isn’t that hard to ignore him after all.

“What is wrong with you?” Neji said, voice raised, eyebrows furrowed and glaring. The look in his opal eyes was deep with frustration and patience as thin as cheese cloth.

“If you could give me reasons, I could agree with you -- but we need to rest, and I don’t know why you’re so focused on getting home when we’re almost two days away.”

The pinch in Neji’s voice was restraint, was formality, and Shikamaru immediately hated the feeling of formal and distant and felt even more like an asshole.

“Neji --”

“This isn’t something I want to argue, and I can’t believe that of all people, I’d have to argue it with you.”

The authority seeping into his voice, into the resolve of his flattening eyebrows, was also something Shikamaru couldn’t stand. The way the tone of his voice became a barricade, a means to an end that said we’re stopping, and that’s it.

Huh, so you don’t like it when it happens to you? Man, what an idiot you are.

“Neji --”

“We’re in a safe spot. I’m going to set up our perimeter, I’ll leave the bedrolls to you.”

Before he gets the chance to say anything half-assed or under-explained, Neji turned his back and launched himself to the canopy above.

The mission did take a toll, and the sigh Shikamaru let out felt like a mountain resting on his back, an endless ache that required rest.

Neji was above him, setting wires and incindiaries across the large, mossy branches. Shikamaru stretched his neck, sighed, and moved to the small clearing before he let himself stare.

The night fully settled over them like a cold blanket, restless with forest chatter and the faint stirrings of the nearby river. The large two roots they camped under were dry and a made for a good wall to keep their backs against. They even lucked out with how little bugs there seemed to be, but that’s what happens when autumn begins its descent into winter.

They were secured with a small concealed fire and one-more than necessary trap set in the surrounding leaf piles. The two of them were comfortable, hidden, sheltered from the winds, and in friendly territory -- the all but perfect shelter for a long rest.

Neji was sitting beside him to the left, three feet away on crossed legs, and the veins around his eyes were straining as he did another sweep of the surrounding woods.

Undeniably secure.

None of it could explain any of the unrest in Shikamaru’s stomach.

This is a fucking pain-- why bother?

Taking a bite of a slightly stale bun, his stomach turned in a restless, nervous churn.

He’d take combat and enemies over whatever this any day.

Shikamaru knew he had to own up to his own behavior at some point -- it was clear as day how he was acting, and he felt stupid to act so thoughtlessly. And for so long, too -- his attitude has been bent like this for weeks, and all his talks with himself did nothing to straighten out whatever the hell it was that made him compelled to do it in the first place.

He felt stupid when he averted his gaze when Neji brought something to his attention. And it was petulant with how his sentences fell short and cropped and irritated whenever they had to speak in moments that lasted longer than a few sentences, however rarely they did that these days-- Neji was the one who always seemed to speak first, and the one whose words it usually ended on, too.

It’s been too many weeks of this , as though Neji was a bother and in his way and he somehow needed to make that explicitly clear – that he had to make the Hyuuga as uncomfortable as he was. It was probably the dumbest, meanest, most logic-lacking thing he’s done-- he knows all too well, and he sighs.

Neji didn’t do anything to warrant such behavior, it was all personal in a way that Neji simply couldn’t have been aware of. It was all on Shikamaru, the haver of such feelings, not the object of those feelings for existing.

I’m an asshole. I need to apologize...

Neji hadn’t said a word since he last cleared their perimeter. His meal of fruits was already finished, and his flak jacket was still donned. Shikamaru spared another peek toward him, and realized that he was still using his Byakugan.

Shikamaru’s eyes snapped back to the area in front of him, back to scanning the white bread in his hands and the pathetically small bites that were too telling of his lost appetite. He softly squished it between his fingers, making it grow plump, before deciding that he wouldn’t be able to eat till his speaks.

“We’re clear,” Neji said at last, and Shikamaru could hear the ease return to his voice as his Byakugan finally gave way to a relaxed state. “I’ll check in again in an hour,”

“Sounds good…” And then a seconds pause before, “Thank you.”

The silence returned as soon as he broke it, and this time Shikamaru has to be the one to break it. It’s too dense, suddenly unfamiliar and distinctly wrong.

He set his bread to his right, and pulled his leg up to his chest. His flak jacket was at the end of his feet, laying across his bedroll haphazardly. Thinking twice on it, he used a foot to hook the arm hole and reeled it back in.

Fishing around in the inner pocket, he pulled out his pack of cigarettes. “I’m being a jackass.”

Neji hummed in response. It wasn’t a particularly cold tone he took, and that made the knots in Shikamaru’s stomach settle down.

A little bit, at least.

But still, Neji waited, still like a statue with all the patience in the world. Shikamaru couldn’t argue with it either when he had more to say and own up to.

Not everything, but…

“It’s been a tough… few weeks. I can’t say I’ve handled it well. I’ve been trying to handle it on my own, and I have been, but… that’s no reason to…. You know.”

It’s something, a good start -- but each word fell like lead weights into the air around them, losing pride for having to say them at all.

Neji sits still beside him, and Shikamaru lit his cigarette before continuing.

“I’m surprised you’re not… yelling at me not to smoke. Telling me it’s gross and unhealthy, or that it’s offending your Hyuuga sensibilities.”

Neji moved to cross his legs, but remained silent despite the good-natured jab. His chakra is subdued, calm and unreadable, and it’s like talking to a wall -- brick and mortar and Hyuuga strength of will.

“It’s good we stopped though… I’ve probably slept 5 hours in total this week, I definitely was pushing too far…”

Shikamaru took another drag of his cigarette and watched the fire consume the end of it, a small interrupting of the smoke stack as it came to fill his lungs, to settle his nerves for a split second before he had to release it back out into the cold air.

It didn’t really occur to Shikamaru how taken he was with Neji till this moment -- not just the nerves that came with realizing he’s been too cold to him and needs to apologize, but the way he felt like he was balanced on a knife’s edge in anticipation of hearing anything from him, be it small talk or admonishment.

God, can’t he just say something?

Shikamaru doesn’t want to look toward him, so he keeps his gaze toward the sky and the patches that peak through the clouds. The stars were brighter from the country side, but they were few and far between the heavy clouds and shedding tree branches.

“I don’t know how you Jonin do it, you know. Back to back missions, advanced training, missions to villages with pretentious, under qualified governors who think too highly of themselves… it’s worth it in the end but gods, look at the cost. I’m spent. Personally, I’m just mad I’m on my last two cigarettes.”

“You forgot something.”

Shikamaru’s ears started to burn, but he kept his tone. “Hmm? About what?”

Neji’s voice carried gently, neutral and hard to place in a way that gave away nothing. “About the missions, and what we have to deal with.”

Shikamaru chanced a cautious laugh, “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“You forgot the teammates that won't speak to you. I also consider that a pretty big… annoyance.”

Shikamaru held his breath around a lung full of smoke, a trail of heat starting to curve up his cheeks and sink into his stomach. It wasn’t the embarrassment, it was the shame of acting so profoundly idiotic that he could hear the disappointment behind Neji’s words.

It’s like going through that phase as a kid, when being mean was the way to say I like you , but running away was like the sign, the declaration, that might as well say I hate you and I do not think about you at all and I don’t want to get too close because what might happen?

As an adult, that’s pretty hard to admit to.

“I didn’t mean to,” Shikamaru started, keeping his voice low. He tucked his knees into the cradle of his arm, bracing against the cold.

“You mean to tell me it wasn’t intentional?”

“I…” How do you lie about irrational, readable, stupid actions? Shikamaru is good at explaining, at thinking on the spot and it’s as easy as breathing to strategize the next 200, 300, 400 moves ahead - but when there’s no way around speaking without revealing, and now is not the time to reveal...

Shikamaru’s cigarette was burning down, and it ashed on his knees before he could stop it. “It’s not about that… I’ve just been, I don’t know, stuck in my head, and I’ve not been easy to talk to in general. I’m sorry that I’ve been a dick to you, though. It’s not what I want, and like I said, I’ve been too stuck in my head to really notice.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m sorry.”

Shikamaru peeked at Neji when nothing more came from his apology. Neji was, like him, leaned against the bark of the giant root they sheltered beside. His head laid against the root, hair pulled out of the way and over his left shoulder to keep it from the toughness of their makeshift shelter and as far away from bugs as could be. His head tilted back to lay against it in as restful a position he could probably find while keeping awake.

He expected the Hyuuga to look watchful, yet he found that Neji’s eyes were closed in placid contemplation. They rested peacefully, without a furrow to be found on his soft features. The shadows cast from the nearly dead fire caught under his eyes, under his lips, the contours of his mouth coming alive with sharp full shapes taking form. The dull light illuminated in the most concealed way possible how his features were both sharp and distinctive, yet soft and touchable…

Shikamaru turned his eyes back to the fire, to the forest, knowing the train of thought he was on would derail too fast. They’d been sitting there long enough, and there was clearly no alternative on a mission other than to take the silences when they happened.

Why’d it have to be us? Naruto could have come on this mission… it could have been Ino…. Chouji…

A couple more minutes passed, and Shikamaru was growing used to the sound of crumbling firewood.

Finally, Neji said, “It’s okay.”

Shikamaru looked down, refusing to sigh in relief. “Thank you.”

“I still don’t quite understand.”

“What to you mean?”

“I still don’t understand why you’ve been making poor decisions. I’ve never seen that from you,” and his voice was way too stern, too intensely focused like the end of a needle. “I wouldn’t be thinking about this as much if it weren’t for you pushing on too far, lying about knowing we’re in the wrong territory, and ignoring procedure. That I don’t understand.”

Shikamaru opened his mouth, but Neji continued without more than a second’s pause. “And then when I hear that you were asking to be reassigned on this mission, that also doesn’t leave me feeling very convinced.”

Shikamaru fell silent, lips suddenly sealed together. The fire his eyes were so intently trained on was still too bright for his liking, and if they were to disappear all together, he might thank the universe for the small mercy of shadows.

“So before I feel… hurt, I think I’ll ask you first. Why?”

“Neji…”

Wow, you really set yourself up for failure, didn’t you?

“I was going to ask you when we got to Konoha, but since we’re already here.”

Shikamaru’s limbs turned stiff, his jaw taut with resistance -- but it was starting to leak from him, all that resistance and fighting and stupidity that he dug his feet into. He hoped that it would go away, that if time and distance gave him the opportunity, he’d find himself sorely mistaken and that all the little things he ignored about the way the other made his heart ache were like passing moments to be left behind.

They weren’t, and he hurt Neji in the process of uselessly trying to disprove himself.

“I’m… damn it, yeah, fine,” Shikamaru started, letting the irritation in his voice leech out a bit. He reached for the pack of cigarettes beside him and took another fine stick to his lips. “You deserve an explanation, I know I’ve made this mission more difficult than it needs to be.”

Are you really going to do this? Even if he takes it well, Hyuuga’s have clan politics. Rules. Punishments.

Fuck it . “I… was trying to get a new partner for this mission.”

“I assumed, Shikamaru.”

“It wasn’t anything against you , it…”

“But it was personal, right?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, I needed some distance…”

“Why didn’t you ask?”

Shikamaru stopped -- fingers cradling a lit cigarette, lips parted, and he felt like an idiot for probably the hundredth time that hour.

“I would have given it to you.”

“I’m... would you believe me that it didn’t occur to me till just now?”

“Something heavy must be on your mind,” Neji laughed, and it was like music and all Shikamaru wanted was to hear it again and again.

“You could say that, and I should have asked instead. I just needed space, but it wasn’t personal --”

“Do you think you can lie and I wouldn’t notice?”

“Okay, okay, fine -- it was personal, but it wasn’t personal. It’s not from a place of hate and it’s not that I want to do it, I just had to do it, and I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.”

“What’s so urgently on your mind, then?”

“Neji…”

“I can only assume it has to do with me.”

“It’s because I’m stupid… look, it’s not you, it’s everything else. I’m just being my normal, lazy self and what’s coming down the pike for me has me on edge… Asuma, family politics, Naruto running off every chance he gets and I’m left here wondering if he’ll return this time. Other things that I need to think through carefully...”

The silence between them grew, like the gaping chasms between continents; fast and swift and ringing like a strike to the ear. It’s not unusual, it’s not something’s Shikamaru isn’t used to -- but before, it used to feel like peace, instead of a prolonged heartbeat.

Neji shuffled, rattling the contents within his leg strap as he uncrossed his legs. Shikamaru craned his head to look at him, to see if there was any anger or frustration in him or, gods forbid, he finally pushed him far enough that he was drifting.

Neji reached over, shuffling to bridge some space between them, and without a word took the cigarette from Shikamaru’s lips. He ashed it in the patches of dirt between them, but took gentle care not to crush it.

“It’s a bad habit,” he said, bringing his eyes to level with Shikamaru, leaning over the hand that supported him. He continued. “You win, Nara. I’ll give you some distance, and you’ll stop smoking a carton every two days.”

Shikamaru nodded, not finding it within himself to vocalize an answer, or deny the accusation of smoking so often.

Up close, the Jonin’s eyes glowed under the moon, and if he stayed staring like that any longer, Shikamaru knew he would have to do something . But instead, Neji didn’t say anything else, he just smiled and handed over the put-out cigarette. He returned to sitting, back up against their makeshift wall, and closed his eyes.

“Get some sleep, Nara. I’ll wake you in three hours.”

Shikamaru blinked, staring at Neji’s resting form, and decided quickly that maybe he should listen.

Their mission passed comfortably and quickly – it was weird, the way silences turned into even greater expanses, but it at least wasn’t awkward. Neji kept to himself, respecting the distance Shikamaru claimed to have needed.

No, it wasn’t a claim, he really did need the distance -- but even he saw the foolishness in thinking that that alone would be enough to curb the affection welling within him. No distance would be a cure for feelings, and the absence of his friend only seemed to prove to do the opposite.

Now the shadow-nin felt the distance and it was like a magnifying glass to the ways in which he would miss Neji: how each moment passed alone was somehow (and he had little idea when this started happening) less peaceful without Neji’s quiet, ever calm presence. And then Shogi, the way he missed being challenged, but also watching the concentration stir in the Hyuuga’s eyes as he looked for faults in Shikamaru’s strategy. He missed the random visits, the ones that didn’t even necessarily need shogi or drinking or a discussion of their shared shinobi duty.

But Shikamaru didn’t break, no matter the growing pang of regret for having created their divide -- he laid in bed and simply tried to find the best way to not experience whatever this was.

The window was open, and he laid atop the bedding with his hands behind his head. The breeze was cold, but not enough to bring Shikamaru from his endless train of thought, and the many detours it ended up on.

It wasn’t even about him . It was about Neji.

The goal is to return to normal.

To be able to look him in the eye, to be able to stop yearning --

Who said anything about yearning?

But then again, what else do you call it when your heart cannot stop beating to the thought of finally seeing him ?

What is it when you would defend someone to the death?

Once, Neji beat him at Shogi. And then they played a game of Go, and he beat him there too. It never happened again, but Shikamaru would never admit to, for the first time in his life, being too distracted.

It didn’t happen again. He didn’t let it.

Some days, Neji comes over just to... come over. There’s no preamble, no mission-related duty or off-the clock work, and most of the time, it was un-announced. Neji would appear at their front door, knocking for posterities sake, but he also appears at his window, or seeks him out in the many acres of Nara land. Shikamaru used to ask why, but the answer was always vague or some form of dodging, and it didn’t take long for Shikamaru to learn to stop asking.

“I was in the area.”

“If you didn’t want me over…”

“I’m hiding from Naruto, he has a bet with Kiba...”

Neji didn’t make it a secret that he preferred not to be at the estate, and Shikamaru didn’t blame him. Ever since the Chunin exam, Shikamaru grew more and more aware of the things that happen behind closed doors, and how it’s not always something that could be fixed.

Sometimes, fixing it just meant being away from it, or maybe just being with someone who you didn’t hate. And always, he chose to be here. Whether in silence, or in training, or over a game of shogi, but always -- usually -- here.

Shikamaru didn’t think about it too much.

Neji returned from practice with his team one hot summer day, and as a treat Gai had offered to buy them ramen. Ichiraku is easily the most popular spot to eat ramen in the day time, especially for Jonin with kids who didn’t exactly know how costly it is to feed a team of growing, exhausted teenagers.

Shikamaru was eating, alone, with a book on wild life resting to his left. Gai came in unceremoneously, followed by Lee, Tenten, and Neji in tote.

Shikamaru didn’t expect, when he turned around to offer a lazy greeting, for Neji to look…

Shikamaru’s eyes shifted downward and to the pavement fast .

Neji’s hair was braided, and expertly so. All of his long, coffee colored hair was gathered into one long, thick braid that draped over his left shoulder. His hair was so healthy, and so soft looking, Shikamaru couldn’t help but want to touch.

“Good afternoon, Shikamaru,” Neji said, a strong hint of annoyance trapped in his voice -- clearly, though, it was from the way Lee was wrapped around his shoulders that made him look like he wanted to drop dead.

“Shikamaru! Could you be so kind as to help settle a disagreement for us?”

Shikamaru glanced up, feeling the heat of a blush creep up his neck, and tried to avoid direct eye contact. “Ummm…. Sure, I guess.”

Why are you acting so weird? What the fuck?

Gai, after having ordered his fill, turned toward his group and beamed, the way he always did when he looked at the kids in his care. Shikamaru always thought that he looked like a loving mother hen, and couldn’t help but gaze at his chicks with the utmost affection. “Debate? What possible debate! It’s a look that will stun, turn heads, and absolutely --”

“Stop!” Neji said, a blush fiercely taking over his face as well. He looked off to the side, resigned to the brotherly arm Lee slung around him but, apparently, not to looking like he was comfortable with it. “Clearly, this was a mistake.”

“Neji! You can’t help that people will compliment you,” Tenten added, sitting beside Gai and smirking with mirth. She glowed with the energy of one who was getting exactly what she wanted, then some. “It’s a good look!”

“You also cannot deny that it was a positive action that greatly reduced your heat-exhaustion!” Lee added, raising a finger matter-of-factly. “I was worried the sun might have harmed you if you had not let me braid it, and now it has resulted in another great discovery: you should wear your hair braided more often!”

“I’m sorry, but what disagreement am I supposed to be weighing in on?” Shikamaru said, unsure if he really wanted to get involved. But since Neji looked just as, or maybe even more flushed, and quite preoccupied with avoiding attention, Shikamaru felt a little more at ease to look at the embarrassed Hyuuga. No one would blame him if for a glance.

He’s…

“You don’t need to weigh in on anything,” Neji said, peeling away from Lee and choosing to sit as far away from him as possible -- just to the right of Shikamaru.

“Oh, come on Neji! Partake in some of our joy! Allow yourself to bask in your youth and the perks it brings you!”

“Just because you braid my hair, you think we need to draw more attention?”

Gai, Lee, and Tenten all said, in seemingly premeditated unison, “Yes!”

Beside Neji, Tenten giggled, nudging him with her elbow before turning to lean on the counter. “Anyway, we all think he looks great with his hair like this, and he disagrees.”

Gai, sat beside her, nodded solemnly. “If only he could trust us!”

Lee, on the other side of Gai, simply nodded in agreement.

Shikamaru sighed -- this entire ordeal, the loudness, the grandeur, was so needless and dramatic that it might be seen as slapstick if an observer would waste their time viewing it.

However…

“What’s the point, though? Why do you care if he agrees?” Shikamaru said, avoiding looking outright. He settled on picking up his chopsticks and looking down the counter with a glance.

Lee laughed. “It is not about agreeing! He simply does not believe that it flatters him, and we insist it does! So, what do you think?”

Shikamaru could have said he disagreed. He could have had an easy out with a simple ‘no’. It could have all been ended if he, the newly decided decision maker, decided that it was not a good look.

Normally, Shikamaru would have done just that. Not a single part of him understands why he didn’t.

“Well… I guess, since I have to. Neji,” and he looked toward the Hyuuga, turning his stool in order to face the still-blushing ninja.

Neji stole a sidelong glance toward Shikamaru and didn’t know what to say, so Shikamaru said, “Face me so I can get a look.”

Like gritting teeth, without so much as a word, Neji turned to face him, in the most slow, resisting way possible. He looked off toward the street, idling his eyes in the distance shakily, and Shikamaru could see his levels of embarrassment climb by the second. His skin was too pale to mask frustrations, and as such, his normally dead-cold cheeks and nose were brushed with a dusting of pink.

“If you’re just here to mock me, just say yes,” Neji said, voice low and quiet -- only for Shikamaru’s ears. “This is stupid.”

Shikamaru smiled. “Hmm.”

His hair was nice. The person in front of him was also nice, and really any hair style would also be nice.

Nice . That’s what he looked like.

“Let up, Hyuuga, I’m not here to mock you. It’s up to you if you want your hair like this, but it doesn’t look half bad.”

Neji raised his eyes and made eye contact for the first time during this pointless ordeal, and reserved isn’t a word often used to describe him, yet it was the perfect one in that moment.

Shikamaru smiled. “Sorry, Hyuuga, but it works. Whether or not you keep it, that’s up to you.”

Despite his annoyance, Neji smiled.

Gai and Lee were by far the loudest supporters of Shikamaru’s decision, and once their ramen’s were delivered, they all settled down for a lunch shared in silence.

Sometimes, Neji makes no sense. Shikamaru knows him well, and yet, occasionally, he’ll make a request, or say something quiet and reflective, and Shikamaru never is able to predict what it will be, or when it will happen.

It’s on a hot summer night that Neji asks, “take me to your favorite spot.”

They’re sitting in the book of the archive room, overlooking historical accounts of the rise of the south Suna. He looks up and across the table to the Hyuuga, thouhgts suddenly diverted from his reading material. “Huh?”

Neji’s eyes were still gliding over the page of his book. “For sky gazing.”

“You want to look at the sky?”

With me?

Neji glanced up, then down to his turning page. “Yes. I’d like to meditate somewhere besides the estate.”

After their studies and research were done for the night, Shikamaru brought him to a field outside the Nara lands, and showed him the concave of the root of a large tree. The base of the tree was green grass, and the ground was curved as though it was only meant to be laid in.

Neji quickly looked over the little sitting spot before him, and before Shikamaru could say anything, he sat in the soft grass at the base. Shikamaru, as surprised as he was, sat beside him.

They gazed into the sky in quiet companionship, one in meditation and one with quickening heart.

He doesn’t say it out loud, because whining about important things isn’t Shikamaru’s speed, but he enjoys the nights with Neji more than he does those without him. He’d rather whine about things bothering him and the mundane details that become part of the daily routine of shinobi life, but never anything actually important.

That’s why, no matter what, he won’t say he misses a certain Hyuuga, and that the clouds don’t quite feel the same without him.

Hyuuga’s are like cats -- they’re temperamental, strike out with provocation, and they don’t easily open up.

Once they do, however, they’re impossible to shake. They’ll be there , and you’ll be hard pressed not to have them in your space, or attending events with you, or even spending evenings alone with nothing but a bottle of Sake.

Neji doesn’t hold his liquor well, and that’s why they were drinking at Shikamaru’s house, because if anything were to happen, no one would be the wiser, and the Hyuuga name wouldn’t come to be sullied.

Shikamaru went from trying to help Neji stand, to being pulled down to his level in an instant. And in just as quick a moment, he was asleep, shoulders cradled in the safe arms of Shikamaru, hair tangling and head leaning into the space Shikamaru’s neck provided.

Neji…

He thanked the gods that Neji was asleep, unable to hear the sound of his heart hammer in his ribs like a restless canary.

Shikamaru let him rest for a moment, feeling a little too proud that he’d be allowed to be this close, and this responsible, and this intimate...

Neji’s breath was soft, and gentle, and when Shikamaru moved to shift them so that he could also be sitting, he moaned softly.

Shikamaru swallowed, mind blanking at the sound.

God damn it...

Shikamaru ended up tucking him into a spare futon beside his own bed, and wrote off the giddiness and overwhelming heat to the sake.

Shikamaru hated avoiding Neji, but it was necessary... He needed his head cleared, he needed to have clarity and a sense of stability, and none of that could be accomplished if he could look up and lose his senses simply by just seeing him. He couldn’t be wasting his time or energy thinking and pondering and missing someone, especially if it was interfering with his shinobi duty.

Somehow, his memories and overthinking of the other were only amplified, like his absence made an echo chamber that he could do nothing but throw memories and voices and yearning thoughts into.

As it turned out, he was missing Neji twice as much.

Lonely was never a word Shikamaru used. It didn’t make sense, and he always had his friends, and if he didn’t have his friends, he had his teammates. And if he didn’t have them, then he he at least had himself.

Maybe it’s a smart tactic – it’s easier to be a shinobi if he has less to care about, and god knows the world is getting worse, that it’s a blessing not to have people to miss.

But he never thought how much loving something might make the world more worth fighting for – and yes he has his friends and family, but it seems to be so different than… whatever this is. Whatever this feeling was that broke the reality of what love means to him.

And then suddenly, he started to feel pretty fucking lonely.

( I love my family, I love my friends, I love my team mates.

But were I to be in love…

how do I do that?)

Shikamaru was starting to put it all together around two weeks later, after Neji had given him his privacy. The thing his distance was supposed to do definitely didn’t happen, and instead he discovered that his heart was not something he could outrun.

When Shikamaru came back from a solo mission after a week of desk duty, Neji was waiting for him, and it all clicked into place. The little doubt left in his mind disappeared, and he felt stupid for fighting it at all.

H uh, so that’s how it is, isn’t it?

There was a lot beneath the surface, and he simply refused to touch it -- skimming the surface and panicking against the current was as far as he got, and now, seeing a familiar silhouette…

It was like forgetting to test the waters and just diving . Ignoring the voice in his head that suggested a thousand what ifs , ignoring the uncertainty of never having being in love, and realizes that he has never been more wrong.

It’s been love , and it’s been for years , and Shikamaru pales at how fast it enters his mind.

Neji was waiting for him, in front of his home, balanced on a stool with his long legs careening off to the sides. He chose to be here .

He always does, you idiot. Always.

Neji was here. Not waiting at the mission desk, not at the gates, but here, at home, and waiting for him. With the sun beating down in a striking display of summer in the fading autumn, peaking at the highest point above them that left nothing to shadows. Neji was waiting under it’s crest, probably hot and uncomfortable, even if the autumn breeze carried through the trees.

Shikamaru might have been tired, but everything within him stood at full alert at the sight of Neji sitting at his front door.

He wasn’t wearing his jacket, and his hair was loose and falling beautifully over his shoulders… not tied, not perfectly, intentionally laid on his back, not braided, but allowed to drape and cascade. He had a black sweater on, layered with a visible white undershirt that peaked out from under.

Shikamaru paid a lot more attention to his appearance, and he can’t compare it to anything else he’s experienced – he’s never noticed clothing and appearance in a way that wasn’t practical, functional – and when he finally reached his door, he couldn’t help but sink into that pathetic realization of being in love, because Neji looks so beautiful.

He sunk, and every feeling and memory of something intimate and friendly filled his mind, like the waves an ocean seconds before it crashes down on the mainland. Neji looked up with him, and it’s the same eyes he’s been seeing for years -- the ones he’s shied away from, sought, yearned for all at once – the ones like a blinding, white hot star, with all the gravity in the world to pull him in and destroy him.

It clicked, the way a puzzle piece snaps into its final resting spot.

Neji smiled against the sun, squinting a bit in the golden highlight. “Welcome home.”

Maybe he’s always been a little love.

That, however, isn’t what he said, though gods knows he wanted to say it. “What are you doing? It’s too hot to wear a sweater.”

Neji’s polite, small smile spread and it was like sunshine --

Since when has he been so… stunning?

Looking up at him from the stool he rested on, Shikamaru’s scanning gaze noted the small, brown cotton bag that was at his feet. “It’s almost winter, Shikamaru. Just because the sun’s out, it doesn’t make it hot .”

“I guess. It’s still warm.”

“It was kind of you to make it back on time, for once. I would have been waiting here for a while.”

Shikamaru finally let himself smile, though it felt small and reserved. Yes, he needed a shower. There’s dirt embedded into his pants, and he got rained out two days ago without proper clothes to bring back. His hair was in knots and forced into a pony tail, and he was sure that he looked like exhausted shit -- yet he could have stayed here all day, if it meant talking to Neji.

Man, you’re fucked. Truly, completely, all encompasingly fucked.

“Why are you waiting for me?”

Neji stood, bringing them eye level and entirely too close, and Shikamaru felt dizzy from the prospect of close , and then other words that took shape like intimate and pretty and you’re so fucking beautiful and you’re doing nothing --

“I have food.”

Shikamaru’s cheeks reddened immediately.

“That is, if you don’t need any more distance.”

He felt like he was on fire. What an idiot I’ve been .

“I… of course I am. I’m sorry about --”

“Don’t worry. Just,” and his eyes dropped, then came up in a slow, surveying glance that left Shikamaru’s nerves on fire. “Just get comfortable, and I’ll be in the kitchen.”

Shikamaru didn’t argue, he just felt grateful that Neji didn’t press any further. Besides, he was hungry, and he should probably eat something before he passes out for however many hours, or days.

Neji picked up the bag at his feet and followed Shikamaru in.

Though he intended to be fast, the water soon ran cold and he realized that he was in the shower for over half an hour. Gods knows it was necessary, but he cringed at the idea of Neji waiting in the kitchen for him.

Shikamaru’s hair was wrung well, but it stayed wet for a number of hours. He would normally let it dry down and combed, but he pulled it up into a wet ponytail before making his way down stairs, absent-mindedly tossing on a light sweater and sweatpants.

The smell of simmering meats and spices was strong, and Neji turned his head slightly to greet Shikamaru as he rounded the corner.

The kitchen was, as to be expected, clean, with a variety of dishes and prepared vegetables laid out on the countertops. The Hyuuga wore his mom’s apron, a little red one with no special decorations other than old broth stains, hanging from his thin hips.

“Take a seat, I’m almost done... I had most of the prepped food ready before I got here.”

Everything about this… it was so bizarre. He didn’t know whether to smile and appreciate it, or caution asking if there was something wrong. Was someone dying, or were they entering a war, did the Hokage die?

Maybe he...

Neji squinted. “Nara, I swear… just sit down, don’t look so paranoid.”

Shikamaru shook his head, blinking away the sheer confusion and the way he liked seeing him in his home, making him lunch. “I’m… okay, yes, I will. ”

He moved to take a seat at the table, an awkwardness settling in as he realized that the guest in his home was preparing a meal for him . “I’m just a little puzzled, that’s all. Why the meal? Why all…” And he gestured around to the counter tops, all covered in little bowls of sauce and cut onions and a variety of different toppings for the rice and soup and meat.

“I know it’s not traditional and I don’t normally welcome you back from missions, but I thought maybe I should. I’m not always in Konoha when you return, so now’s a good time to start… since I can.”

“But… why?”

“You’re sounding like you don’t want me here,” he laughed. “It’s something I wanted and chose to do.”

“I just mean, there’s always a reason.”

“Then call it a gesture.”

Shikamaru sighed, and resigned to lounging in his seat as he watched Neji cook.

Since he was being honest, and finally resigned himself to the fact that his feelings were there for the long haul, he could admit that Neji was beautiful.

The entire village knew it, but at least now he could think it, and admit that he was thinking it. Neji, with his long hair, and his pride, and his ability to set off every single neuron in his brain with just a smile or act of intimacy, like cooking…

“You’re being particularly quiet today,” Neji offered, broad shoulders to Shikamaru. He was cutting up some sort of vegetable, and the little click of the blade against the wood board lightly punctuated his observation.

“Sorry, it was just a long mission,” Shikamaru said, eyes still on Neji, a tint of heat across his cheeks as he skimmed the surface of his strong shoulders. “I wouldn’t say the Suna is the most forgiving landscape I’ve been in.”

Neji hummed, still chopping. “Did you get hurt?”

“Nah, it was too clumsy an organization to deal any real damage. There were even hostages, and everyone came home pretty fast despite how many guards they had. Gaara was thankful his men didn’t have to go in, otherwise… well the hostages probably wouldn’t have made it out.”

“Hmm. It was more action than talking, I take it?”

“Yeah… we got briefed and that was it.”

“Easy.”

“Very. Just long.”

“Mm… Shikamaru?”

Chop, chop, chop - the sound of onions and -- r adish? daikon? -- becoming minced and soup ready.

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if you got more time to think. You know, what you needed time to think about last time we talked.”

Shikamaru looked away, taking to memorizing the cover of a book laid out on the dinner table. “Maybe.”

“And you’re talking to me again.”

“Yeah…”

“I guess, since you had time to think, and you’re talking to me again, then you don’t need any more distance?”

“Sure…”

“Care to tell me why, then?”

“I…”

Shikamaru was overcomplicating things, and he knew it. It’s pretty dumb, after all, to let a crush ruin everything.

It’s pretty dumb to feel dumb for saying it out loud.

“It’s so stupid,” Shikamaru started, glancing to the side. “I was taking my time, but I never know when the right time is.”

“Is it possible that, maybe,” and Neji turned around, smiling small and knowingly, cocking his head to the side. “You’re thinking too much?”

Shikamaru laughed, a deep sense of stupidity rising from his chest because no shit . “What can I say, it’s what I do.”

Neji rolled his eyes, toweling off his hands.

Their kitchen was small -- it was enough for a family, but with the two of them, it felt like it shrunk to half the size and the only thing that was in it was Neji, and Shikamaru with his stupid little brain and his stupid overreactions. Neji took the four or five steps necessary to stand in front of Shikamaru, and that’s all he did. Shikamaru wanted him to reach out, to hold his hand or tilt his head up by the chin with a delicate, powerful finger.

Instead, it was so much better.

Neji kept a foot between them, holding his towel idly in his two hands.“If you liked me so much, I could have been here making you food for years.”

Shikamaru knew it somewhere in his heart, but to hear it out loud felt like being flung from the top of a mountain. He swallowed, his blush returned in full force, and he couldn’t stand how he was so dense that he ignored how much Neji showed him he loved him. “I was…”

“You are a child.”

“Neji…”

“ We haven’t talked for a month, Nara.”

“I mean, I sort of panicked…”

“Sort of?” He he was tall and towering and his judgment came with no scolding, no hate, just a haughty sense of pride.

Shikamaru was as overwhelmed at the confrontation as he was relieved, balanced so delicately between the two that he couldn’t find it in himself to make up excuses. “Okay, fine , I panicked and tried to run away. I’m a shirker at heart, okay?”

“I’ve never seen you run away,” and his glee, his elation, was bordering on rude.

“Stop…”

Be glad he’s not upset...

“But in romance?”

“ Neji , I don’t need to hear it,” Shikamaru whined, surprising himself with the way his words took shape and sounded , so small and capable of being squashed . “I didn’t know what to do about it , and I thought maybe I was wrong, and when that wasn’t true, I felt like shit for --”

Neji smiled at the scene unfolding, and leaned in, hand gently bringing up Shikamaru’s chin to give him a small forehead kiss. “You’re so incredibly stupid.”

“You’re making me feel worse.”

“Consider it… the fee for not talking to me.”

Neji’s fingers still lingered under Shikamaru’s chin, and the smug look crossing his features showed how much he loved watching Shikamaru scramble for his bearings.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, you can’t be a genius all the time.”

He presses a kiss to Shikamaru’s lips before returning to the task at hand when he sound of boiling water started to overtake the pot it was in. Shikamaru sat back, watched, and tried his best not to stare.

Neji sat across from Shikamaru, and between them was a hearty meal spread across several plates and bowls. He was looking down to his food, skewering a carrot from his bowl of soup. “Were you ever going to talk with me? Ask me? I didn’t take you for being shy…”

Shikamaru felt abundantly embarrassed no matter how much time had passed, and instead of focusing on all the ways he fucked up and made himself out to be an idiot, he just took another bite of rice and savory meat and tried not to look Neji in the eye. At least, that is, until the amusement wore off and he wasn’t smiling like he was about to laugh. “It wasn’t all me, you know… I mean, even when I was panicking and dealing with my own shit, I didn’t know what to do about… if your clan has any rules or guidelines for you. I didn’t know if you could… theoretically, ah…”

Neji spared him the explanation, knowing that diving into clan politics and unspoken rules wasn’t as easily breached as things like dinner and mission reports.

“It’s complicated, but the idea of it is that so long as I’m private, and keep my relationships private, then I have a sort of freedom for who I choose to be with. When it comes to commitments, there’s… stipulations, but it still doesn’t prevent me from choosing. If I fail in my duties to lady Hinata, then it’s another situation entirely… but that’s not a concern I have.”

“Oh. So, we can…try this?”

Neji raised an eyebrow, a small smirk following quickly. “We can try a lot of things.”

“Please, don’t… let me lick my wounds before you start in.”

Neji chuckled, skewering a strip of barbecue. “Fine, this time.”

Shikamaru sighed in relief, and felt a little better about himself. He didn’t recognize himself in his actions, so he didn’t want to question them now when he finally had what he wanted.

He looked up from his food, and found Neji just. Staring. His elbow was propped up on the wooden table and his cheek was tucked against his curled fingers so that he could continue to watch, observe, to see .

“You’re staring.”

Neji’s brow raised a bit. “You’re always staring, I think it’s my turn.”

Shikamaru straightened his posture, just the mere thought of being so intensely observed bringing a pool of heat to his stomach. “I’m not always…”

Neji uncurled one finger from his propped hand and tapped the side of his head, just beside his eyes, as his Byakugan flashed across like a comet in the sky. “Don’t you think I’d see?”

It makes sense. Shikamaru just grumbled and returned his eyes to his food, ceding defeat.

A couple of minutes passed, silence and eating and the clink of chopsticks or spoons against porcelain.

It was all so sudden – no sooner had Shikamaru made up his mind about his feelings did the object of his affections also made it clear that he had feelings as well.

He’s never been taught about this – he learned about chakra systems and how to strangle an assaulting ninja before he learned how to handle this.

Love. Companionship. Whatever.

“So you… you said years, right?”

Neji looked up, mouth full. He squinted, a look of confusion overshadowing his eyes that he couldn’t yet voice.

“You said you would have been making me food for years…”

Neji nodded, so matter of factly, swallowing a bite-full of food.

“So you… have had feelings, for years...”

Another nod.

“I don’t know how I could be so dense.”

Neji swallowed, bringing his hand up to his mouth before speaking. “You’ve always been dense.”

“I used to like to think I’m at least self aware! By gods, I tried to avoid you, and yet I’ve avoided this for years.”

“You don’t have to drag yourself over the coals on this, Shikamaru – we’re here now . That’s all that matters, not the hypothetical past, and not you coming to some sort of realization years ago. Just now.”

Shikamaru sighed, shoulders slumping. “I know, I know – I just can’t stop thinking about it.”

Neji’s responding smile was enough to settle the conversation. “I was okay how we were, and when I realized your feelings for me, I am now more than okay.”

“I’m sure this will hurt my pride, but how did you realize?”

Neji was taking another bite of pork, and he laughed before he could finish it. He swallowed and followed it with a drink of water. “You couldn’t look me in the eye for weeks, you stopped drinking with me, and you think you were somehow stealthy?”

Shikamaru prayed for the floor to swallow him up, to crack open just enough for him to plummet into darkness. “When you put it like that…”

“I never minded, and I would have waited forever.”

Shikamaru’s chest swelled with warmth, and this time he didn’t avoid Neji’s eyes once they met.

“I’ll never make you wait again.”

“I’ll be back later,” Neji said, now that their meal was done. Both he and Shikamaru already cleaned the kitchen, and stored the food that was left over in the fridge.

“You can stay, you know – no one’s gonna kick you out.”

They were outside, Shikamaru standing in the doorway and Neji facing him from the patio. Neji shook his head. “Unfortunately, I have to meet with the hokage for our weekly round table – but that’s okay, you’ve been gone too long, you should rest.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “I get told I’m lazy all day long, and now I’m being told to rest. ”

Neji sighed, a full body sigh that made him visibly relax his shoulders. “You’re so much trouble, Nara.”

Then he took his hands and framed Shikamaru’s face. “Just get your lazy ass some sleep.”

Shikamaru let his feelings guide his body and gave in to that which he normally would have denied, and grabbed the hands still framing his face, light like a leaf to the ground. He nodded, not thrilled that he was leaving, but appreciating the small gesture all the same.

“Okay, fine, Hyuuga. Didn’t want you around anyway.”

Neji’s grin was tentative, testing, like he didn’t want to give away his amusement for sake of pride. Shikamaru grinned at the expected Hyuuga reaction, and he felt a little more of his footing flatten out beneath him, like they were starting to make sense.

“See ya later, Hyuuga,” and he pressed a small kiss to Neji’s lips, the type he knew he could give without sinking too deep into wanting more. He pulled away, separating them by a margin, and said, “Thanks for seeing through me.”

Neji’s lips peaked into a beautiful smile, painted deep shades of warmth and fondness. “Thanks for being see-through.”

Shikamaru ignored the perpetual heat in his cheeks, and as soon as Neji was gone, his return to his bed was swift and seamless.

#my fic #shikaneji #naruto fic #one off #shikamaru #neji #im not entirely thrilled #but im not unsatisfied either #thank u for reading :)#complete

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kapelover · 4 years

Text

Gloxinia

Poe is a flower shop employee and Ranpo gets lost and somehow finds his way to Poe’s shop

It was a fresh autumn morning. Orange and brown leaves littered all over the ground and crunched as a tall man walked through. The man’s name was Edgar Allan Poe, an American immigrant who came to Japan for a new start. He currently worked as a flower shop employee and though the pay was small, he was glad that he could at least provide food and shelter for himself.

The flower shop came into view and he walked a little faster. He entered the shop and was greeted by the sweet old lady who was his boss. He waved good morning.

“Hi, Poe-kun, have you had breakfast yet?” Poe took his apron out of his bag and put it on, shaking his head to respond to the old lady’s question.Once Poe had finished tying the ribbons of the apron, the old lady handed him a croissant.

“Thank you, Mrs. Fukushima”

That’s how most of their mornings started; with Mrs. Fukushima giving him bread for breakfast. She knew Poe didn’t have enough money to buy breakfast so she always gives him bread to eat so the young man wouldn’t starve.

The next few hours was spent by attending to customers, wrapping up bouquets of flowers and taking care of the several plants and flowers in the shop. This is exactly why Poe stayed despite the small pay; Life as a flower shop employee was a peaceful one, no overwhelming rush of customers (except on Valentines Day), no violence.

Poe’s life was normal, quiet, almost too quiet.

“Hey, Poe-kun, don’t you have a girlfriend?” Poe flushed at the old lady’s question

“N-No, Mrs. Fukushima, you know relationships aren’t my t-thing..” He said. Mrs. Fukushima sighed

“You’re not gonna get any younger, you know. It’s best to enjoy your youth”

“R-right, i’ll keep that in mind”

At around lunch time, Poe just finished wrapping up a bouquet for a customer and then..

“Hey hey, could someone help me??” A young man barged into the shop. He looked to be around his 20′s. Dark, messy hair slightly covered by a brown hat, beautiful emerald eyes. Poe lightly blushed seeing the young man. The tall male kept staring at the newcomer till Mrs. Fukushima snapped him out of his trance.

“Poe-kun? You help that young man, I’ll take care of the customer” And with that, Mrs. Fukushima led the customer away to the cash registrar. Poe gulped and made his way to the young man.

“U-Um, how can I help you, sir?” Poe tried his best to get eye contact with the man but he just kept averting his eyes.

“I’m lost, do you know where the Armed detective agency is?” Poe thought about it for a second. The Armed detective agency’s the building where he passes by every morning, right?

“The r-red bricked building, right?” The young man nodded excitingly.

“Poe-kun, you can go lead him, and grab some lunch since it’s already lunch time!” Mrs. Fukushima exclaimed, waving. The tall man nodded and took off his apron and he placed it on a nearby table.

“I’ll be back soon, Mrs. Fukushima!”

“So you’re Poe?” Poe nodded

“I’m E-Edgar Allan Poe and you are?” The man looked at him strangely

“You don’t know who i am??”

“No..?”

“Why, I’m the greatest detective in the whole wide world! Edogawa Ranpo!”

“Oh..okay?”

The two finally arrived at the agency. Poe bowed

“Well, I should be off then, goodbye, Edogawa-san” Poe turned around to leave but Ranpo caught his sleeve

“Get lunch with me”

“Hah?”

Ranpo dragged Poe to the Agency’s favorite cafe. They were both greeted by the waitress and the cafe owner. The two sat down on a booth and gave their orders to the waitress. Since Poe still couldn’t read Japanese well enough, Ranpo ordered omurice for them both and a parfait for Ranpo.

“So you’re a detective, Edogawa-san?”

“Mhm! Cut the ‘Edogawa-san’ call me Ranpo instead!”

“O-Okay..R-Ranpo-san”

“You’re a cute one aren’t you?”

“EH!?”

By the time lunch was over, the two grew close, close enough to even exchange phone numbers. Poe even stuck around the agency and met everyone. He left 5 minutes later, saying that he still has work to do.

As he walked back to the shop, he felt a warm feeling within him. The feeling was nice, it made him feel really happy.

For the first time in a while Edgar Allan Poe felt extremely happy...

It’s been a whole month since the two met and became close. It was already December 23rd. Tomorrow would be the last day of work. Poe not only grew close with Ranpo but also with the other agency members, the tall male was even invited to the Agency’s Christmas Party.

The past few weeks have been a good one for Poe, he made new friends.

Poe looked at the clock on the wall and realized it’s almost time for him to get lunch and go to the Agency.

He knew today was gonna be a good day too

‘Ah..the last day of work! I’m definitely gonna miss this place while I’m on vacation..’ Poe thought as he swept the floors of the shop. The door opened and he turned around to see Ranpo, with a grin on his face

“R-Ranpo-kun?? How did you even get here??” Poe stuttered out as Ranpo pouted

“Don’t underestimate a great detective like me!” Poe sweatdropped as Ranpo entered the shop. Currently it was just the tall male because Mrs. Fukushima went out for groceries

“So..what brings you here today, Ranpo-kun? It’s quite rare that YOU visit me” Poe asked, emphasizing the latter YOU. What he said was not a lie, usually it would be the taller male who visits the Agency during lunch time, not the other way around.

“I came today to buy a flower” That response piqued Poe’s interest

“Oh? Which ones?” Ranpo pointed at the Gloxinias. Poe felt his heart ache a little. He knew what those flowers symbolized; Love at First Sight. He didn’t know why his heart ached, so what if Ranpo is buying a flower that symbolizes Love at First Sight? It’s not like he loved the detective anyway...

..Right..?

“alright, hold on, I’ll get it for you” Poe walked away to the bundle of gloxinias. He grabbed one and walked to the preparation table

“Would you like a ribbon or card?”

“Yes!”

“You can go pick over there Ranpo-kun” Poe pointed to the rack of ribbons and cards.

Ranpo came back with two small ribbons, one red and one white and of course, a little card that he can write in. Poe handed Ranpo a pen and he started writing away while Poe beautifully tied the ribbons around the stem. When Ranpo was finished writing, he handed the card to Poe and the tall man stuck the card on the stem with tape.

“And your total is 934 yen” Ranpo gave him the money and he was off with the flower

“Thanks, Poe-kun!” Poe waved him goodbye and when the detective was nowhere to be seen, he sighed

“My heart hurts...Do I really like Ranpo-kun..?” Poe could feel tears start to well up in his orbs. He quickly wiped them away

“No no! If Ranpo has someone he likes I should be happy for him!”

Lunch time finally came around and Mrs. Fukushima came back with a paper bag full of groceries.

“You can go get lunch now, Poe-kun” The tall man nodded and took off his apron. He then exited the shop after putting on a thick coat and a scarf.

On the way to the agency, Poe tried his very best to not start crying but he couldn’t hide it. The tears and heart aches just kept coming and coming. Halfway to his destination, he ran up to a tree and wiped his tears, making sure no one was around to see him in that state.

‘I can’t go the agency looking like this’ He took out his phone and sent a message to the detective

Hello, Ranpo-kun! I can’t go to the Agency today. There’s a lot of customers and I’ll be here for a while. I’m sorry

and send!

He felt bad for lying but what other excuse does he have?

He walked all the way back to the shop and told Mrs. Fukushima that he’ll skip lunch today. The old lady was suspicious but decided not to ask about it.

It was a long day, Poe had to admit. He was grateful that he did come back because suddenly there was a bunch of customers who all wanted bouquets who arrived but he was done for the day.

“Here, Poe-kun, your pay and bonus” Mrs. Fukushima handed him a small brown envelope that was slightly thick. Poe nodded

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Fukushima!”

“Well, you should head home now”

“Alright, Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Poe-kun”

And that was it. On the way home he bought a meal from the convenience store and finally made his way home. He arrived in his shabby apartment and flopped onto the small couch after placing the steaming hot food he bought.

“Agh..I’m tired..” But at least he could finally relax. He didn’t have to return to work till January 5 and so he had a 12 days to just roll around the apartment and sleep.

He shifted his position so his back was on the couch and he faced the ceiling. He sighed

‘Ranpo must’ve confessed to that person already..’ Again, the tears started coming but this time, Poe was comfortable with crying. He was in his own home after all. The only witnesses would be the little furniture he had.

Edgar Allan Poe spent that night crying and sleeping. It would be better to release the grief and sadness now than to keep it in.

Poe woke up with a slight headache which made him groan in pain

“O-Ow” He held his head and started regretting all the crying. He stood up and went to the bathroom to look at himself. He was a mess, a really bad mess. The dark circles beneath his eyes got even darker somehow, his eyes were red and puffy, his hair was sticking up in various directions and his lips were slightly dry. He sighed and turned on the faucet so he can wash his face.

As he was rinsing off the soap from hiss face, the doorbell rung. Poe finished up and headed to the front door to peek through the little peephole. There was no one

Weird

He opened the door and to his surprise, the Gloxinia he had prepared for Ranpo was on the floor a few inches from his door, along with a present. He picked up both items and went into his living room after closing and locking the door.

He first read the card that Ranpo wrote

Dear Edgar Allan Poe, Bet you didn’t expect this, did you? I’m not only a clever detective but also clever with surprises! Haha, enough bragging though. I wrote this to tell you that I like you. We’ve only been hanging around each other for a month i know but i really like you. You should consider yourself extremely lucky to have won the heart of the Greatest detective in the world! Let’s go out together, come to my place on New Years. I’m not taking no for an answer ;) Love, Edogawa Ranpo

Poe needed to process this

Ranpo liked him!?

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

dsfndshffheihfmvk irjep mrem rk onvnittuehwyew-

He opened the present next.

There was a box of condoms and a bottle of lube..

Poe blushed heavily and placed the lid back on the present.

Edgar.exe has stopped working

#ranpoe #edogawaranpo #edgarallanpoe #bungou stray dogs #bsd #ships #romance #this is dumb #armed detective agency #theguild #flowers

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starkatana · 5 years

Text

I Want You (Part 2)

~Part 1~

Summary:

Your mom stops by to visit and makes a deal.

Angst

Dabi x Reader

Note:

I was in the mood to write something angsty, so using this prompt list by @gvgvdans . I tried my best to incorporate most of them into the story.

Also I listened to a lot of Alison Wonderland when writing this!

I Want U – Alison Wonderland

Hope you enjoy it!

The next day, you arrive at the coffee shop at the time your mom agreed on. Going inside, you see that your mom is talking to someone at the table.

“Hi, mom.”

“Honey! Good, you're here! This is Greg." She gestures to him across the table. "Greg, this is my daughter that I've been telling you all about!”

“Hi, I've heard so much about you.” he gets up and extends a hand to you.

“Hello.” You shake it a bit confused.

“Your mom showed me your pictures, but they don't do you justice.”

“Uhm?”

“Please sit what would you like to drink? It's on me.”

“Uh?” Your eyes shift between him and your mom. “Just surprise me.”

“You sure?”

“I trust you.” You give him your best charming smile. He walked away, and you faced your mom with a fury in your eyes. “Mom.”

“Isn't he cute?”

“What the fuck?”

“Dear. You can't be single forever; you have to start dating.”

“Mom.” you grab the bridge of your nose. You never told her because you and your parents have never been on the best of terms that you didn’t even see the need to tell them anything. “I was dating someone, but we broke up last night.”

“Oh, well, isn't this just awkward.” She didn’t sound surprised. “Nothing like a rebound to bring you back!”

And she didn't look surprised, and that made you uneasy. “You didn't want to get coffee with me.”

“That's not true.”

“Then why is he here?”

“Two birds with one stone I wanted you to meet him he's one of your step dad's coworker's son, and I thought it'd be cute to set you two up. He's nice, is fabulously wealthy, comes from a well-respected family, and has a quirk that lets him manipulate DNA of viruses and with your healing quirk you could have babies with the ultimate healing quirk.”

You roll your eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Please do this for me dear I'm not getting any younger I just want to see you happy in a successful relationship, just trust me on this one.” She goes to reach for your hand, and you quickly get up from the table when he comes back with your drink.

“I got you a dirty chai if that's okay?”

“Thank you,” you begin, “but-”

Your mom kicks you from under the table and gives you a stern look.

You shoot her a glare from across the table, and when you look back at him, you try to be kind because it wasn’t his fault your mom was a nightmare.

“Greg, I’m sorry, but I’m not really looking for a relationship, my boyfriend and I just broke up yesterday, and I’m not just looking to date right now.”

“Y/n!” your mom, whines.

You give her a disgusted look.

“Oh! I’m so sorry to hear that.” He says, obviously uncomfortable, “I’ll just see myself out.”

“I’m sorry.” You apologize.

He nods and waves good-bye before leaving.

“Y/n!”

You sit back down and lean across the table and in a menacing whisper say, “Never pull that shit again.” You sit back and continue in a normal voice and tone. “It's rude and annoying. You have no right to set me up on a blind date without my permission.” You tap the cup in your hand. “I'm pissed, and this is why we don’t talk.”

“Honey.” Your mom rolls her eyes. “You need to stop working so much, settle down, have some kids, etc. etc.”

“Yeah cause that worked so well for you the first time.”

“Y/n!”

“What? It's true you and dad divorced and remarried because you both wanted to ‘settle down,’ but being heroes got in the way of you ‘settling down.’”

“That's where we're different. You don't want to be a hero. You're doing it right. Just go on one date with him.”

“No! Dammit, mom. Are you even listening? My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday! The last thing I want to do is start dating again!”

“What you think Dabi could love you? A fucking criminal, y/n?” she spat. Her eyes got wide, realizing her mistake, and she covered her mouth.

There is no way she would or should know about Dabi. How did she?

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing.” She had nothing left to say as she tried to gather her things up.

You get up and block her from getting up. “What the fuck did you do?”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Are you the reason why we broke up last night?”

She paused and then smiled, “Honey no but did you really think you would be happy living a life like that forever? I mean c'mon?” she gestured to you, “you’re young and beautiful, your quirk is amazing, anyone would be lucky to have you, and he couldn’t see that. He can’t love you.”

“Stop it. Just stop. I'm Sick and tired of listening to you: I'm going home and please don't contact me. Stay out of my life.”

“Where do you think you're going?”

“To find Dabi and to make things right.”

“He's a villain y/n you're lucky he hasn't been caught think about my job your families' job.”

“What if he's not? What if he's just a puppet and I'm the one pulling all the strings.”

Her eyes grew wide and was taken back.

“Tch. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree after all.” You shrug, and you left the cafe. Your mom was a pro hero she could get into so much trouble for that, but it wasn't true, and you needed to fix things with Dabi before it was too late.

You found yourself on a bridge where you could see the city lights. Standing next to the side, you'd recognize that silhouette anywhere.

“I knew I'd find you up here.”

“Y/n?”

He looks up and over at you cigarette still hanging from his mouth. You couldn't see his face but the fact that he acknowledged you and turned towards you it felt like it was enough.

“You shouldn't be here. You should go.” He said looking back over the edge

“No Dabi I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you.” You started walking towards him. “I know what happened I know you, and my mom must’ve made a deal, and it's bullshit. She’s manipulative and crazy. She’s had years to make things right between us, and this isn't it. I'm not going to let her ruin my life. Dabi I love you, and I'm not letting you break up with me.”

“Dollface. I was never in love with you. I was just using you."

“Tch.” you roll your eyes. “That's not true. That's not who you are.”

“And who the fuck do you think I am!?” he turns to face you. You can’t see his face, but you can hear his voice. It was shaking, and you could see his breathing was shallow and short. You knew you were right, and you weren’t going to stop.

“I know you're Dabi, the hard-ass villain who has his beliefs and hopes to change this society for the better. I know you like to do puzzles in the paper. You like to bury your nose in a crime book. You like stupid humor movies. I know you wouldn't spend your time on someone you don't think is interesting you wouldn't spend so much time with me if it weren't for my quirk and if it weren't for the fact that you cared deeply for me. I know you Dabi. You changed me for better or for worse I feel something with you something different, and I know you feel it too.” You put your hand on his bare arm where his sleeves were rolled up and the fact he didn't flinch away. “I don't know what you and that witch talked about, but I'm here, and I'm not letting her get in the way of us.”

“I want my life back. ”

“Excuse me?”

“When you're with me I have too much to lose. If I'm with you, it's not just my safety. It's yours. I can't always protect you and don't say you can protect yourself. I already know that, but there are some villains that are just merciless. Truth is y/n I don’t know if I can love you.”

You closed your eyes and felt tears form.

“Then that's it Dabi. If that's how you feel, then say the words again, and I'll leave you alone. I just want to hear you say it and have you mean it. And not read the script that my mother made you say. Tell me you want me gone and out of your life and we're done.”

The silence was tense; you were nervous, but in your heart, you knew you were right. Dabi loved you. There was no way your mom was right. There was no way, and then in a quick sweep, Dabi had you in his arms, and his lips were attached to yours. Warm tears hitting your cheeks he was crying. You kissed his back, pulling him close keeping things light while wishing they could get hot and heavy.

“I hate you, Doll Face.”

You smile and caress his face, “I know, but I love you.”

“I love you too that's why I left you and let your mom-“

“My mom doesn't know jack shit she doesn't run my life I do and Dabi I want you in my life, and I'm not scared of my mom and neither should you big bad Dabi oh god you laugh I can't believe you.”

“Can we start over? ”

You laugh. “No. But we can pick up right where we left off and only get better from here.”

He holds you tighter than ever. You take in his light cigarette mixed with autumn scent. Even if he was a villain, this felt so right.

“Let's go home.”

Flash forward to the present time your mom is outside the apartment door again.

“Get out.”

“Excuse me.”

“I said, ‘get out’ you're not wanted here.”

“We had a deal.”

“Yeah but your daughter isn't as easy as you thought she'd be to control. She's not a little kid anymore she can make her own decisions, and if anyone stands in the way, her happiness is going to have to answer to me. Do you want to have to answer to me?” Dabi cocked en eyebrow at her, as blue flames came off the tips of his fingers. “Bitch.”

She snarled and left your apartment Dabi closed the door.

“You do like me.”

“So? What about it?”

You shrug nothing, and you go back pretending like you're busy with something else. Catching one more glimpse of your boyfriend when he catches you starring you stick out your tongue, and he gets up and forcibly gives you a deep and longing kiss.

“I was wrong-”

“Wait, wait a second, say that again?”

“What?”

“I want to hear you say that again.”

“This is childish-”

“Say it or no sex.”

“I was wrong.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s the stuff.”

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grandmasterofwangxiancultivation · 5 years

Text

SV ch.55

Okay I’m nervous.

Looking at the style of murals to the sides of the corridor, there was a strong yin ambiance, and it was clear to see this was Luo Binghe’s headquarters in the Demon Realm.

But I am totally not panicking.

EDIT:

The two both had nothing to say, not giving each other a sideways glance. One in front and one behind, their footsteps made no breath of sound. The atmosphere was stiff and cold.

This is the definition of PAIN. I need some bingqiu communication right now

EDIT 2:

Pushing open the door and entering, the furnishings and arrangement of the room were quite familiar-looking. In fact, it was quite similar to the bamboo house on Qing Jing Peak.

Omg. OMG. So let me get this straight. Lbh spent years mourning his Shizun, keeping the wounds he had left him, keeping sqq's broken sword, keeping his freaking corpse and (now we find out) making a room similar to the one in the bamboo house-

This is borderline obsession and yet my heart aches for lbh so much i just... PLS Shizun. PLS.

EDIT 3:

Now acting like a miserable child and throwing tantrums, making his heart overflow with sympathy. Now again hitting his face and telling him it was all an act. Real or fake, his eyes weren’t sharp enough to clearly see autumn feathers and see through Luo Binghe’s heart to understand what he was really thinking, some parts truth and some parts hypocrisy.

(Guys, sqq is angry because lbh put on a facade in the dreamscape. He is angry and disappointed and wary of lbh possibly using the same "trick" on him again and again just to move sqq's heart. I honestly thought Shizun had understood by now.

Like, okay, lbh tricked him the second time to see if that was really Shizun or just a figment of his imagination, but can you blame him?? You have been dead for years, sqq!! He probably went insane with pain, has always been in love with you when in his eyes you betrayed him by pushing him into the abyss, come on! If you two would just fucking talk-)

While he was still brooding over these thoughts, Luo Binghe walked a step closer to him.

(A n X i E t Y)

EDIT 4: here is an exemplar of Shizun using a series of excuses to keep himself rooted in place and not back down in front of an advancing lbh. Still, he is a mess inside.

BRAVE SHIZUN.

But he was still inevitably tense, his heart stretched taut as a bowstring, his eyelids jumping and fingertips curled.

How was Luo Binghe so perceptive? He advanced another step.

“Shizun, what do you think I’m going to do to you?”

(o m g. Omg o can't feel my legs-) 　

Shen Qingqiu said sincerely, “I cannot guess.”

EDIT 5:

Luo Binghe reached out his right hand. Shen Qingqiu didn’t make a sound or movement, but his gaze couldn’t help but stick to his fingertips, following them as they reached out.

(I AM TOTALLY HYPERVENTILATING RN)

That hand was neat and slender. It didn’t look like the hand of a Demon Race young master who had already taken countless lives, but rather one which was born to pluck strings, a hand to burn incense and bathe in snow. It slid shyly over his cheek, faintly brushing his skin.

(OKAY SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL AN AMBULANCE R I G H T T H E F U CK N O W 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK MY HEART BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST AND MY LUNGS CONSTRICTING LIKE THIS IS NORMAL?

LBH IS ToUcHiNg Shizun's cheek-)

And then it landed on his throat.

*chokes*

Lbh no- *whispers*

EDIT 6: I died, like, for 5 minutes before gathering the courage to go on. And BLESS GOD I DID BECAUSE

Luo Binghe retracted his hand. The next time he opened his mouth, it was impossible to tell if he was happy, angry, sorrowful, or joyful. “My blood, it’s not responding to my beckoning.”

AAAAHAHSNJXUDKEHXKE DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHY, BINGHE? YOU SEE, IT'S A FUNNY STORY. IT INVOLVES A SNAKE-MAN, MAIDEN SHIZUN AND MANY WOMEN-

EDIT 7:

Luo Binghe said, “It looks like in these short few days, Shizun has had another fortuitous meeting.”　

Shen Qingqiu said, “Well, what can you do about it? Make me drink it again?”　

Luo Binghe said, “You’ll run if you drink it, you’ll run if you don’t, both options are the same. I had better not make Shizun add another layer of loathing for me in his heart.”

(OKAY NO. N O. I'm not good with tension. I can't bear it. So pls stop and no one will get hurt, okay?)

Luo Binghe fixed his gaze on him for a time, then said, “Is there anything you desire?”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Anything is acceptable?”

Luo Binghe nodded. A sudden malicious sentiment arising from his gut, Shen Qingqiu bluntly said, “I want to see you as little as possible. Best if I never see you at all.”

(WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

THIS IS WRONG, WHAT NOVEL IS THIS, WHAT THE FUCK FUCKITY FUCK

okay it's a joke, right? Ah ah ah ah funny, now stop this. When I said I desperately wanted these two to meet, i meant to pray for FLUFF. NOT THIS. THIS. WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS.

MY HEART IS BREAKING? DO I DESERVE IT, AFTER PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THEM TO MEET? I dOn'T fUcKiNg ThInK sO, so freaking solve this-)

Luo Binghe looked like he never expected Shen Qingqiu to make this sort of request, his face paling.

(SHIZUN YOU WERE MORE CLUER THEN A FREAKING DEMONIC LORD. HUG HIM. HuG hIm Or I sWeAr-)

If you are hearing something, IT'S ME SCREAMING LIKE A MADWOMAN. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.

EDIT 8: thank you, system, your presence always makes my anger cool off. I love reading Shizun talk to it, it reminds me this novel is too good to be true, an yet it exists. Bless.

With a ringing notification sound, the System quietly began to download the upgrade package. Shen Qingqiu had a sudden thought and asked, “Right, what is the name of this feature upgrade?”

The System: 【Small Scenario Pusher Luxury Edition.】

SEE SEE I LOVE THE SYSTEM, IT ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT TO DO. NOT ONLY THE SMALL SCENARIO PUSHER IS BACK, IT CAME IN A L U X U R Y EDITION.

Let's go bring down those heartbreak points now

EDIT 9:

With many official duties to attend to, perhaps unable to extricate himself, all along he had not shown his face.

…or maybe that day, his glass heart had been shattered by Shen Qingqiu’s harsh words, and he didn’t dare to appear.　

Shen Qingqiu tore his thoughts away from that latter path with great difficulty.

IS THAT REGRET, SHIZUN? IS IT? I S I T? System, pls summon me and let me go hug lbh or else I'll cry

EDIT 10:

Furthermore, Luo Binghe didn’t act like the characters in the books his younger sister liked to read in his previous life and shackle him with chains, blindfolded and gagged, stripped and beaten. He might as well be content with whatever he has and make himself at home wherever he is.

(SY HAD A YOUNGER SISTER? DO YOU THINK SHE READ HARDCORE BL?)

Bull***t!　

For Shen Qingqiu to attempt to comfort himself with these words, there must be sh*t in his brains! He wasn’t some sort of Stockholm syndrome patient, feeling deep gratitude for being fattened in captivity. Don’t you understand, you need to bring about a fortunate lifestyle yourself, not by relying on others’ charity?!

(You're right, Shizun, of course. That's why there is a pretty simple solution- TALK TO LBH WITHOUT ACCUSING HIM, TRY TO UNDERSTAND. WOULD YOU?)

EDIT 11: this chapter is playing with my patience. Bamboo does not grow in the Demon Realm, but lbh ordered for ppl to find a way. Shizun FLIRTED WITH A MAID ASKING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT BUT THAT BOWL WAS PREPARED BY LBH, BECAUSE IT HAS THE SAME TASTE AND NO ONE EATS HUMAN FOOD THERE AND IT BREAKS MY HEART AND I JUST CAN'T OKAY I AM CRYING STOP THIS SHIT

EDIT 12: sqh is here!

OH. SO HE SOLD SHIZUN OUT. OH, okay. I don't know if I should hate him or congratulate him, I never know if I should consider the events from the point of view of a reader or a writer, me being both (I mean, like, I occasionally write, so I know sometimes one makes characters do strange, despicable things, not like I am a super pro write didn't want to sound pretentious, eh eh), so I'm like "what the fucking hell sqh, what about friendship?" and "omg good job mxtx, this character is so interesting, what even is moral ptf!"

And now

Lbh

Gave Xiu Ya sword back to Shizun. Let's add this to the increasingly long list of "things that show how much lbh cares for Shizun and make my heart crack"

EDIT 13:

On the other side, Shang Qinghua laughed nervously and rubbed his hands, clicking his tongue and saying, “Aiyah, I really, really never thought… the storyline would bend so far out of shape. Remarkable, really remarkable.”

Shen Qingqiu: “The stallion novel protagonist you wrote turned into a cut-sleeve, shouldn’t you be angry?”

Shang Qinghua said sincerely, “It doesn’t matter. Either way, the one he fell for wasn’t me.”

(there, see? I love him.)

Shen Qingqiu gave him a cordial middle finger, lowering his head to polish his sword. Shang Qinghua gave him a thumbs-up. “Really, you don’t need to be so pessimistic. You have good prospects for the future, quite good prospects. These golden thighs, they’re strong, reliable!”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Take your ****ing golden thighs. If I have to hug those thighs, where do you think they’ll take me? Between the legs!”

Shang Qinghua: “Between the legs is even better, ah. Between the legs is a man’s most important place.”

(OMG OMG THIS turning out too good I'm having too much fun!!

Sqh surely is a man of wisdom. BLESS HIM.)

EDIT 14: okay plot, PLOT.

“…” At long last Shen Qingqiu knew the true origin of all those plot holes. “So you just went to write the harem plotline, and might as well leave the more serious Bing-ge’s dad plotline full of holes?”

(So the big final boss should have been lbh's dad? FATHER-IN-LAW IS REALLY GONNA SHOW UP IF SHIZUN FILLS THE HOLES? I AM SO SO S O O O O FREAKING EXCITED.

But I am honestly scared, 'cause this means whatever sqh's previous plan for the novel were, they may still happen. That means everyone is potentially in danger, if the danger is not lbh.)

EDIT 15: SQH WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING USEFUL ABOUT HOW HE WANTED TO BUILD SQQ'S CHARACTER AND THEN WHAT?

Lbh comes.

Like, I love you baby, but-

Luo Binghe’s eyelashes drooped. After standing for a bit, it seemed he had come to a major decision. He said stiffly, “Even though those earlier events happened in a dream realm, I took advantage of Shizun. But the feelings I revealed to you then, those were not false.”

(GOOD BABY. G O O D. Let it sink, let Shizun understand how much you care.l

EDIT 16: lbh is trying to finally, finally let Shizun understand how he felt and why he did what he did and I'm so glad he is trying. I get why these two would need to learn how to trust one another all over again, that is totally okay, it's fine if they need to guard their feelings for a while before settling this problem, so reading about them talking, about lbh trying to reach Shizun fills me with hope.

His face gradually settled into a gloomy expression from his sneer. Drawing closer the distance between the two, he said, “But what if I said, that towards Shizun, I only remember, not hate, most likely I wouldn’t be believed.”

SEE. SEE.

#scum villain’s self saving system #scum villain #the scum villain’s self saving system #svsss #sv #sv novel #sv ch.55 #sv fangirling mode

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ughyoongis · 5 years

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In The Midst Of Chaos [ chapter 01 ] a prince!calum fic

A/N: this fic is very near and dear to my heart so please let me know if you like it and tell me what u wanna see or hope happens next! enjoy!

word count: 4.7k

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Within a few weeks of working in the castle, Alice learns the boundaries. The do's and don't's of her job. Yes. That is correct, her job in the castle. She now works for the royal family, along with one other new recruit named Luke who's grown to be a friendly aura to hang around during slow shifts.

The head nurse, Penelope, teaches her day to day tasks and shows her the ropes, she explains the rules. Be kind, be courteous, be quick. Don't wander down halls you weren't instructed to walk down, which, at first seemed a bit silly. But the more time spent in the castle, the more her curiosity festered.

Because she never expected a castle to be so deathly quiet throughout the day. She expected loud festivities, bustling workers who rush from place to place, it's supposed to be a constant circle of busy, busy bees.

Instead, she finds herself alone in the halls, rarely seeing someone, getting lost in the maze that is this glorious castle. Extravagant paintings of the reign through the years, statues of the gods and goddesses, more and more vases of flowers. She never quite hears anything behind the closed doors, always taking soft steps to hopefully hear a murmur through the walls. She's starting to wonder if there's anyone even here.

"My dear, would you take this upstairs for me?" Penelope, or Penny, as the other nurses address her, hands a basket of tonics and oils to her, each one capped and labelled, a tag on them to describe what each one has healing qualities of.

"Of course." Alice stops folding her washed towels, taking the wicker basket with a sheepish grin.

"There's a maid's quarters, at the very end of the Western tower, leave it outside the door." Penelope's a kind woman, deep sea foam green eyes that have rings of brown as well, her skin is a shade of honey and caramel, hair in tight black ringlets. She has a warm smile and plum colored lips, she smells of cherry wine and lavender.

"Thank you." Alice spins on her heel and exits, she has yet to make Penelope mad, and today is not the day to see how irritated she can get.

She rushes up to the top floor, reciting the directions of the Western tower in her mind, trailing her way down the velvety carpet, the sun sets out the open windows, curtains flowing from the breeze that washes in every now and then.

The trees outside sway delicately against the autumn chill, the center of the castle is in full view from up here. A square of the castle gardens, those who walk up here can look down into from every side of the upstairs level, all of the windows from each hall look down into the vast, ever so breathtaking gardens of the land they love. Beautiful fountains, extravagant flowers and plants from foreign lands. Penelope said she loves to spend her time in the gardens whenever she has the opportunity.

Luke said he saw the prince in gardens, almost every time he walked by and had the opportunity to look into the vicinity. He had seen him sitting out on the grass, alone, writing in his journal. Always writing. Sometimes, he had a guard next to him, if not close by, keeping watch.

She smiles down at her feet when she thinks of how stupid she must seem, lolling around thinking about the prince writing of all things. Has she gone mad? The prince seems too self-centered, too violent for her liking. She likes men who treat people properly, fairly.

Her shoulder bumps into a rigid column, the post swaying before a vase tips, it's beauty of blue and black paint, intricate gold marking on the rim- shatters itself across the floor. Her hand clasps over her mouth to hide the gasp that threatens to escape from her throat.

She feels her skin crawl.

Oh no.

Her knees buckle and she's scrambling to the floor to try and assess what she had just done. This is an artifact, a one of a kind beautiful masterpiece. She can't afford to fix this. They'll kill her. The guillotine will be her next place to be ushered off to. Her heart is in her throat, all of her fears come crashing down when she glances up and sees a figure lingering at the very end of the hall.

The prince. His icy stare is what causes the chills up her spine, the way he just lurks in the distance, hands clasped behind his back as he watches- just stares- at her floundering in a panicked mess.

Her hands let go of her basket of tonics. The second his feet start to move towards her, she scrambles up onto her trembling legs, curtseying hastily, muttering apology after apology. He can't even hear her, she's too far away, but that doesn't matter. She runs, far from the crime scene she had created.

He watches her leave, studies the broken vase and the basket she had abandoned in her attempt to escape. She's out of his sight and clicking her way down the stairs when he turns around to look at his literary tutor, one of his confidants. Ashton. A boy his age, who's a scholar in his studies, son of the archduke of this regime, born into the money but humble, far too humble for Calum's liking.

"Do you know who she is?" He asks, head whipping back around to stare longingly down the corridor.

Ashton's hazel eyes stare apprehensively.

"She had a nurse's uniform on, but I know not her name." His smile grows as he grins, "She seemed fearful, your highness."

"Perhaps she should be." The prince lifts the basket with his hand, staring at it in confusion before handing it off to the tutor.

"Take this back to the maid's quarters, seems they've been given their weekly healer's basket." He watches the dirty blonde stride away and disappear in this labyrinth of marble floors and porcelain statues.

He watches the breeze whirl through particularly strong, the curtains flutter and he laughs to himself, smugly, so no one can hear. Then strolls down the halls, in no rush, and head's to the nurses chambers.

"You what?" Luke is whisper-yelling at her when she walks back into their shared study space, cobblestone walls with moss in the corners, poorly eroded ceilings, and grimy air. But it's a study, nonetheless. They're in there alone but she's too scared anyone passing by will hear.

"He was right there, he watched me do it." Her face etches into a petrified frown. She can't stop checking behind her, as if he'll be there, hidden. Silently watching her panic in the corner.

"Did he say anything?"

"If he had I missed it, I was so scared I ran."

Her hand falls to the table they're sitting at, Luke's textbooks on anatomy is open and he's supposed to be reading but this seems far more interesting than the study of the nervous system.

"Penelope said he rarely speaks, says he's never said more than a word or two to her."

"That's assuring." Alice shakes her head in disbelief, "I just got this job and now I'm in the gutter."

"It's a likely chance he will not care." Luke tries to say something that may lift her spirits or lighten the mood.

But the door opens with a creak and Penelope stands in the doorframe, her arms across her chest.

"Anything you'd like to tell me?" Penelope's tone is on the softer side, but her eyes plead for the truth.

The prince steps into the doorframe, eyes landing on hers nearly instantly.

Luke visibly shrinks in his seat, lips parted, eyes wide, gaping at the sight of the prince in arms reach. Terrifyingly superior to them, even more so when he speaks, voice firm and coated in bittersweet honey.

"Your name?" He poses the question, ready to hear this girl's name be uttered off of her lips like her sad excuse of an apology he barely heard.

She blinks, wildly, "Alice."

He nods, brushing past Penelope so he can make his way into the room, taking it all in with a disgruntled look, eyebrows strung together as he sees the subpar conditions these two are in.

He glances at the girl once more, notices the way she averts her gaze directly to the ground the second he glances at her. Not an usual response on his behalf, he's grown accustomed to the look of discomfort he receives.

"Your highness, she's very new to our staff. An intelligent girl, she means no harm to the castle."

"I'm aware." He bites back instantly, jaw setting itself into place as he raises his stare up to Alice's eyes, glowering over her fright.

His stature is that of royalty, as should be expected for his title, his shoulders broad, feet firm, dressed in his elegant princely garb. The nation's colors, red and gold, draped around him from head to toe. The glorious crown perched on his head shines amidst the dull, lifeless room they're all in.

He stays stoic, burning his gaze down onto her. Picking at her from start to finish.

Calum's eyes are as sinister as his father's, the deepest ebony color that drowns into a cold, endlessly paralyzing stare. Something phantasmal.

The maori takes a breath, and then gives a firm nod. "I'll discuss the repercussions with your boss." His feet take slow, careful steps back out into the hall, where a murmured conversation takes place.

Her consequence is decided in a mere three minutes.

Penelope enters, Calum stays in the corridor, hoping to witness her reaction.

"We've decided it's best if you clean up your mess-"

"Put the vase back together." Calum interrupts, voice suddenly too loud for the small space. "Piece by piece."

Her face is nothing short of awestruck, a sudden coursing aggravation fuels it's way through her veins and the second she goes to protest he adds on.

"Would you rather buy a new one? They're only sold in the Southern nation, given to us as an offering from the princess herself, hand crafted." He watches her bite her tongue, then continues. "One may say it's priceless."

She ducks her head down, her way of apologizing for nearly acting out. The outburst that tugs and tugs at her heart, waiting to be released but he stands there, overzealously proud of his accomplishment of utterly ticking her off.

"Better pick up those pieces before a maid sweeps them up." He steps off and carries himself away from her to whistle a low tune.

Alice hates him. She completely, pathetically hates the prince.

Two days. It takes two days for Calum to fall back at the door of her study. His first words being:

"My horse threw me off and it seems I've hurt my hip." He wears a stressed frown, a face she's only seen on him, either this or an angered yell. She has rarely seen him otherwise, and if he did make any other expression, it might as well make the daily newspaper.

Alice had been in the middle of sorting out her shelves and cabinets when he entered, whisking him off to her cot so she can examine everything. There's little to no conversation. The sound of birds chirping and the echoed chit chat from the other studies around them.

She's been avoiding the wretched excuse of a punishment they had given her, a bag full of broken vase pieces sits in the bottom drawer of her desk and for now, she's given it no thought whatsoever.

"Did you land on your side?" She asks, earning a nod from the maori, who's far too handsome for her heart's liking. He's in much simpler clothes than his formal attire, instead dressed in black slacks and a white button down. He still looks soaked in wealth and luxury since his crown is tangled into his unruly curls, but not as overwhelming as his usual wardrobe.

"Could you lift up your shirt?" She asks, circling her hand above his hip that he clutches in pain, he nods and pulls the shirt so it comes untucked, a bruise blooming over his side as a couple scratches show from the gravel path he had landed on.

"You must have an angry horse, your highness." She jokes without thinking.

"My horse is perfectly fine." He mutters under his breath while Alice takes the rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball and swipes over the scratches, emitting a hiss from the maori. "Was in a mood, s'all."

Maybe the horse doesn't like you, she wants to say, but bites her tongue.

She sighs after assessing the situation.

"Let me put witch hazel on this, and some ice. Should be gone in a week or so." She grabs what she needs as she says it, applying it all in mere seconds. "Sit still and rest with this on for a bit."

He nods and relaxes against the pillow on the cot, his crown tilts as he does so, and now he looks completely different from the uniform man who rules the nation under his father's wing, causing wars and starting riots in the streets. Now, he looks so disheveled. He's softer, delicate. God, she shouldn't even think of him like this but here she is.

She stands, heels shuffling against the cobblestone as she picks up where she had left off, organizing her station. She's still newly accustomed to this place, and has to bring supplies daily from her home to fill up all of the emptiness in here. She snuck in a few candles that smell like her favorite things- pumpkin, honey, cinnamon. She wanted a little piece of home with her.

Calum's gaze follows her as she moves around her room, his powerful eyes are hard to avoid, constantly drilling into her. She can feel it, he gets under her skin but says nothing of the matter, just observes her actions. Is he judging her? Or is this a normal thing for him to do?

"You look far more different from your usual appearance, your highness." She wears a sheepish grin, picking up a stack of her journals where she draws or studies in them.

"Does it surprise you that I don't walk around in such tight, uncomfortable clothes every waking second of the day?"

And dare Alice say this, but she thinks that was a joke.

Her grin curves up and she shakes her head, pulling a journal out of the stack after putting them away, grabbing a pen as she flips to a blank page and absentmindedly sketches out Calum lying on her cot, his hair a mess, shirt half untucked, crown barely on his head at this point.

She finds herself wondering why people who work here find him rude and claim him as a disrespectful heir of his mother and father. They say he's the lesser sibling, and that he lives in Mali's shadow. But he seems decent to Alice.

"Can't stand those damn clothes," He notices how she's amused. Studies her once more. Then speaks curtly, "Did you put the vase back together?"

And now she's back to being annoyed at the mention of her stupid repercussions. The expensive vase practically burns through the drawer it's stuck in.

"I haven't had the time to, I'm still learning more and more about life here in the castle, your highness." She lies. Because she spends half the day here just talking to Luke and rarely does much. But it seems to convince him, though his eyes lack any amusement he once had swimming within them.

"Is it different from beyond the walls?" He seems so naive, so curious. As if no one's ever told him about how they live outside of here.

Luke's voice rings through her head. Penelope said he rarely speaks, says he's never said more than a word or two to her.

Maybe he never had anyone to ask.

Alice smiles, "To put it simply, my house is the size of this study alone."

He takes a close glance of the space, and furrows his eyebrows when he realizes how small it is.

"Is it just as quiet? What do you do for fun? Where do you go?" He sits up despite the pain in his side, allowing Alice the room to slip beside him. Their knees brush and she apologizes under her breath. His eyes only cross over hers for answers.

He's never been let out into their kingdom, he's never seen what they rule, never saw the alleys the poor peasants are living in. He has no idea of the riots and protests going on. How people are striving to have food on their plates each night. He can't hear the way people speak of him, of his family, how crude some insults can be.

"It's busy most days. My nanny and I head to the marketplace for clothes and such during free time, or the theater."

Her eyes flicker to his, gaining the courage to look him dead in the eyes, now face to face, side to side, she can see every detail in his flawless face. The slight golden specks in his bold eyes. The full redness to his lips. The stray curls that wisp across his forehead, under the divine crown.

"My mother says there's a lovely theater. Won't let me go, though." He mutters, his palms smooth over his slacks. The faint twinge of sadness laced in his features. "I'm not allowed past the castle walls. They say it's too dangerous for me to go out there."

"It's far different from here." She agrees with the queen entirely. Calum shouldn't be so compelled to see the lack of prosperity and wealth in their villages. How few wealthy families exist, how many poor ones do. The ever-growing peasant population is skyrocketing.

"Perhaps I'm sick of the same marble floors. The same meals each day. The same crown upon my head." He takes his prized piece of jewelry off of his head as he speaks. He gives a grimace and scoffs, "Things here grow tiring after years of the same bloody routine."

His gaze is hooded, burning down at the crown in his hands, a look of disgust crosses over his face as he studies the intricate designs molded into it, the jewels on it for even more decor than what's necessary. Alice gnaws on her bottom lip, unsure of what to say to that. He doesn't like it here? He wants to leave? Is she hearing him correctly?

"Sorry if I sound desperate, I never get to talk to anyone here." His lips purse, "Only my parents and tutors."

Her heart sinks, and ironically, she pities the prince, the boy who has everything at the palm of his hand. She hears him suck in a sharp breath and glances over to see him debating on what to say next, lips pursed.

She wants to ask him why he doesn't talk to anyone. But the answer seems so obvious the next second that she finds herself a bit silly for wondering. Everyone is scared of him, they don't treat him like someone who they're allowed to talk to. All the other workers are too focused on doing their jobs perfectly to even begin a conversation with the prince.

She smiles down at her feet that swing on the cot, her hair falls over her face in messy strands.

"If you need help with growing accustomed to anything here, I can show you around- if you'd like?"

His voice goes from casual to apprehensive in mere seconds. Worried that his offer isn't what she wants. He's well aware of people's opinions on him, and thus his natural aura of bitterness results. But Alice is special, she has a different mindset. Sure, she tiptoes around him from time to time but the look of dread has vanished from when he first entered the room. That's a plus, right?

His offer has a smile curling on her delicate lips.

"Right now?"

He glances at the clock on the wall, he has an hour and a half window before his lessons for the day begin.

"No better time than the present." He stands, the pain in his ribs isn't unbearable anymore but it's still present. "There's many places here that even the most knowledgeable of workers who have stayed here for years have yet to find."

"I suppose you hide them from us, hm?" She teases, following him as she blows out her candles and puts her journal away, the half finished drawing of Calum she had begun now abandoned for the time-being.

He gives her a knowing look, practically answering the question within itself.

"I like to keep as much privacy as possible." He explains, opening the door to the hallway as they leave her study. "Everybody's breathing down my neck nowadays, I hardly get alone time anymore."

"My home is the same way." She feels oddly calm while spilling this personal information to him. Does he even care? She can't tell. "Part of the reason I wanted this job so badly is to get away from them throwing their problems onto me."

"Try having your father drop an entire kingdom in your hands, and telling you you'll be ruling it in a few years." He speaks under his breath, since they're passing all the other nurses now. Their eyes linger on the couple brushing by, and send Alice confused stares. Some seem worried for her. Others unbothered. There's a sea of mixed emotions in the crowd and all she can focus on is the way Luke sends her a look of pure fear when he sees the situation she's in. How she's marching alongside a determined, austere Calum.

Once they've entered a barren corridor she continues the conversation.

"You've got me beat with that one, your highness."

"You may call me Calum, if you'd like." He presses his lips together, to stop them from curling into a smile. Her eyes catch the way his meet the ceiling to avoid hers.

"I don't think I'm in the proper position to address you as-"

"I'd like you to call me Calum, Alice." He tenses his shoulders, "I let many of my aquaintances here call me so, as long as they only say it in private. If others hear it, they'll start thinking it's a free-for-all."

"Okay," She breathes out, "Calum."

It sounds bizarre to keep his name at just that, but he gives her the closest thing to a grin when she says his first name. He has his hands clasped behind his back as they walk down an empty corridor, in no rush, and an almost graceful skip to his step.

"Have you been in every room in this castle?" She asks, because there's got to be hundreds to choose from, with doors everywhere in every hall. She has only seen a handful of rooms and she's already overwhelmed.

"Of course," He laughs, "There's very little for me to do here, so I wander a lot."

"I would like to see your favorite rooms, out of the thousands in here." She grins, gesturing to the vast corridor ahead of them, his lips tweak up and fall the second he senses the feeling. They have a few spectators, a bustle of maids that scurry by with shifty glances.

"To the library, then," He leads the way, his dress shoes echo with each step down the hall, her own heels click behind him as they both stay quiet.

"Here." He says. Both hands unclasp so he can grab the door handle of the double-doored entrance. The dark mahogany door creaks as he opens it, who knows how old this room is, because once you're inside it's dimly lit, the curtains are drawn shut and prevents any sunlight from outside from entering, there's a whopping two floors, with a high, endless ceiling. A maze of library books on the bottom floor, whilst every corner of the room has a spiral staircase to lead it's way up to the next floor. Ladders along the sides of the walls to reach high books, she catches a glimpse at desks scattered here and there, for those who want to read in silence.

"This place is amazing." She walks into the center of the room, slowly taking it all in with an astonished look. Her blonde hair falls over her face and she brushes it back to study every shelf and row. The library back in town barely has thirty books and this seems to hold thirty thousand.

"You can take whichever books you'd like." He joins her in the center. "For studies, and whatnot."

"Really?" She feels honored at the opportunity, since not many people in her village can read at such a scholarly level, most knowing the basics, others didn't bother with learning, she is jumping up and down in her figurative seat at the idea of reading something new and exciting.

"Sure." He shrugs, "Not like anyone will exactly notice if a few go missing."

"I love it here." She strolls to the nearest shelf that catches her eye, a little etched in plate along the side that says 'Classic Literature' in scripture, she skims the titles and pulls out Alice's Adventures In Wonderland. Her mother loved reading it to her, she also felt as though she was named after her, it suits her well.

"Do you not have a room like this?" He asks.

She gives a sad, forced smile. "Not quite."

"I. . ." He trails off in his own mind, gathering his thoughts with a furrowed brow. "I could give you some of my favorites, and you can keep them in your village."

Her hands holding the novel clutch it to her chest, a giddy feeling, one she hasn't felt since she was a kid, bubbles up inside of her.

"That would be fantastic," Her eyes lock with his, "Calum."

He's gnawing on his bottom lip to hide his own excitement, too. He gravitates towards one of the desks that's stacked miles high with books. He picks up one on top.

"No one really enjoys the books I like," He holds it out, sheepishly, the title on display.

Frankenstein.

Her eyes light up, remembering the title to that of the same book in her local store. She takes it with a reminiscent look crossing her face.

Her thumb runs over the corner of the binding, the story itself has her heart tugging at the seams. No wonder Calum, the enigma of a prince, enjoys a story so dismal and tragic.

"If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear." She quotes, "It's one of my favorites."

He seems delighted to hear her speak so eloquently, so naturally. As if he didn't just feel the words jab through his chest and twist like a jagged knife. The way she stares at him, like she can see the reason towards why he's picked up the classic many times, has him turning around to avoid the questioning he could sense building.

"It's a great book." He mutters, suddenly feeling his chest grow tight and his skin prickle with goosebumps. He holds back on saying how it's one of the few things that makes him smile every now and then.

"Beware for I am fearless, and-"

"Therefore powerful." He finishes, lips curling up as he fights with the ludicrous emotions swirling around him, fogging up his once focused mind. She's already pulling him in too deep.

"You must relate to this, yeah?" She means it kindly, almost too scared to see how he'll react after the words fall from her lips.

"The people," He mumbles, eyes drifting to the floor, "They don't like me, I can tell."

"You don't know th-"

"But I do." He spits a bit too fast. A seething tone in his voice, "They merely gawk at me when I walk into the room, they flinch when I go to shake their hand, they treat me like I'm some... monster."

"They see you for your wealth and power." She explains, "They're intimidated by it."

He finds himself lingering closer to her, his bottom lip rakes between his teeth as he tries to assess how she can read him like the back of her hand, along with everyone else. Was she only saying that because that's how she is with him, too?

"You may be the smartest girl I've ever met." He whispers in one breath.

She grins, boasting in her pride. "Thank you."

Maybe she likes the prince now, just a little bit.

A/N: talk to me about this chapter in my ask!! what are your thoughts so far?

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