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mahdithemagician · 1 year

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Secrets Hidden In The Leaves An unbelievable secret of the leaves is that they are alive.

They may seem to the uninitiated to be inanimate but they are as alive as the forests from which they came. Spend enough time with them and you will know them. They may have a will of their own, as you will learn. Each card has its own personality that is revealed through connecting with them. You will notice when they tease you and inconvenience you, showing themselves when you wish to hide them. Some are ambitious while others prefer to work for you in secret, certain cards want to hide and a few want to be seen. The cards hide many secrets and if you devote yourself to them they will reveal their secrets to you. They only obey one whom they respect and their respect and obedience cannot be bought, it must be earned.

Cards are painted with hope and bring color to our desires. Many a man has partaken in that old, time honored, venerable tradition of matching wits and wallets over a game of cards. As many or more women have entrusted their hearts to the turn of a card promising their awaited future. Some lose when some gain and there are those who choose not to play as the pain of losing can be greater than the pleasure of winning. Others choose to live on blind luck and shuffles dreaming of the ever elusive big score.

Traditionally playing cards were completely unique as every leaf of paper had to be illustrated, painted and cut by hand. Centuries ago these playthings were pieces of art commissioned by the wealthy. We know this because some have survived and are documented, however, I suspect that even peasants fashioned their own cards with what materials they had available to them but that these did not survive to be passed down generation to generation.

Eventually packs of cards would be mass-produced on printing presses. The wooden and metal plates were designed to create uniform images but as the ink was unevenly placed and applied the cards would be completely unique in their own way with the ink bleeding outside of its margins. Seeing these cards and their wonderful patterns and imperfections greatly inspired me in my own deck, Hidden Leaves No. 5.

Hidden Leaves are a love letter to the long line of creators of the leaves throughout time. Having observed playing cards very closely it is my opinion that some of the most iconic playing card designs were created by the same artist around the 1880s. I believe this designer left hints in the classic Tally-Ho and Rider designs and that he left them as signatures. Artists were kept anonymous by the companies they worked for in an effort to reduce competition and thus fees of artists back in those days. Sadly, we have never been able to discover the artist of those classic designs but I have recognized his style and motifs. Some of these motifs and philosophy have been incorporated into Hidden Leaves as a tribute to this incredible and unknown artist.

Part of that tribute is to not explain certain elements of the design but rather allow you to connect with the deck and the art and initiate yourself into its mysteries. When we look at things we don’t understand we ask questions and when we ask questions we are able to go outside ourselves and hopefully step into the eyes and the mind of another and connect with their knowledge, their taste, and ideas. Every deck of cards is different even if they are made from the same materials at the same printing press. Paper quality changes between batches and environmental factors such as the temperature and humidity can greatly affect how the cards feel when they come out of the printer. Most people could never tell by touch but those learned in the cards can tell the difference, sight unseen with just a touch.

A deck of cards is like a bird, hold it too tightly and you will kill it but hold it too loosely and it will fly away from you. One must learn how to handle the cards to accomplish their task. Some techniques require a new deck and very gentle touches while other techniques irreversibly bend the cards so that they are never the same again. Only experience will allow you to understand the cards. Proper instruction can help, if you can find it.

The true lore and history of the leaves have been lost to time. They have appeared throughout time in different places under different names. We have tracked them down throughout the centuries but even the earliest references to them say that they are very old. From our study, the earliest mentions of them relate to them being toys used to play games of chance. Their uses for divination is written about later but we are wise enough to know that we do not know their true history.

The medieval people, with their limited knowledge of foreign people combined with Biblical stories of Egypt, associated strange sojourners with that most famous land and named them (-E)gyp(-t)sies. Legends and myths color our imagination with gypsy fortune tellers working with secret oracles disguised as paper. The cards themselves are ancient, mysterious and ritualistic. Their esoteric connections leave one wondering about their provenance.

Playing cards have two colors, red and black, signifying the day and the night.

There are fifty-two cards in a deck, the same number of weeks in a year.

Every year has four seasons and the deck has four suits, one for each season.

There are thirteen cards in a suit and there are thirteen lunar cycles in a year.

Finally, if you add up all the values in a deck, with Aces being one, Jacks as eleven, Queens are twelve and Kings as thirteen, plus one for the Joker you get 365, the number of days in a year. No one has ever been able to explain how or why ancient astrological wisdom was secretly encoded in a toy.

There is a high probability that anytime a deck of playing cards is shuffled it is the first and last time that it will ever be in that exact order. The sheer number of combinations has made them ideal tools for gaming and divination. You can spend your whole life with cards and they will generate new gameplay scenarios and stories for you to explore. Every time you shuffle a deck of fifty-two cards, the chance of it ending up in the order it appears is 52 factorial or 8.1 times 10⁶⁷. These are numbers that we simply cannot understand. To try to illustrate this to you, I want you to try to understand that there are more possible combinations of a shuffled deck of playing cards than there are atoms on the entire Earth. It’s simply mind blowing. If you added the possibility of some cards being face-up or face-down in the shuffle the amount of unique combinations would be more than the amount of atoms that exist in the whole universe.

Playing cards are the most recognizable tool for gambling, gaming, divination and magic in the entire world. You would be hard-pressed to find someone who has never held a deck of cards as most people have one laying around their house. How is it that one of the most known objects in the world is one of the least understood? I can only tell you to ask the cards themselves.

#magic #playing cards #history #gaming #gambling

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confusedlamp · 3 years

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Mental Health Strategies

I have dealt with various mental health BS (anxiety, depression, ADHD), and while I haven't gotten it all figured out, I have been dealing with it for well over a decade now. I figured I would make a list of coping mechanisms that have helped me and are worth trying out if you haven't already. None of these things are “magic” (just try this and your brain will be all fixed!), and obviously not applicable in all situations. I mostly learned these via therapy or from other people struggling with mental illness. This also may or may not be to help me have a list of things written down for when I forget.

Putting this below a keep reading thing because this got long FAST:

For depression funks:

-Find a small task you can complete. Wash a dish, throw clothes in the hamper, take out the trash, etc. Something small.

-Take a shower. And try changing clothes. Even if it's in to some pajamas. If you aren't up to showering, try washing your face and maybe wiping down with a wipe. But a change of clothes will still feel better.

-Eat something. Doesn't have to be "healthy." Some food, no matter what it is, is better than no food.

-Can you get outside? Doesn't have to be to excercise. Just sitting on the front steps for a few minutes in the sun.

-Doing something to take care of yourself. Can you brush your teeth? Have a glass of water? Brush your hair? Just pick one thing and so it.

-Plan something. See if you can get a friend to meet you to hang out (or zoom) or maybe for dinner. For yourself, maybe find a movie to go see (post pandemic). Preferably find something that has a set time.

For panics:

- Square breathing. Breathe in for 5, hold for 5, breath out for 5, hold for 5. Repeat.

-There are a ton of meditations on youtube. Search "5 minute meditation" and you'll find a ton of videos.

-After the initial panic is over try calling a friend. If you can't for some reason (sometimes it's 3 am or your friend isn't available), try finding some cat videos on youtube. I highly recommend Cole and Marmalade. Something light that will get your brain on something else.

For Executive Dysfunction:

-Remove steps to putting things away. For awhile in school, I would have a mess of papers that weren't organized or put away because I was trying to use a binder. As silly as it sounds, having to neatly align paper holes or got find a place to punch those holes, would prevent me from putting things away. So I switched to folders. Suddenly I stopped losing things and my papers were organized.

-Bullet journaling. Or rather, I just have a little notebook where I put all my to do lists, grocery lists, project planning, brainstorming, etc. I don't properly Bullet Journal (TM) but I keep all my lists in one spot and it helps.

-To do lists in general. Writing out steps to get something done. Cross things out when you finish them. You get a better sense of accomplishment.

-When executive dysfunction is preventing you from getting out of bed, break it down. Step one, sit up. Step 2, swing legs over side. Step 3 stand up.

-Same with any task. If it seems too overwhelming or you just can't bring yourself to do it, it might be because you are looking at all the steps and feeling it's too much. So just think about the first one.

-Alarms and reminders. I put everything on a calendar in my phone. Google Calendar allows you to set a reminder for events days, weeks, hours, and minutes ahead. You can also set alarms for things like "I know I need to leave at 3 for the appointment, so I am going to set an alarm for 2:45 to start getting ready." Do not rely on yourself to look at the clock. YOU WILL NOT LOOK AT THE CLOCK IN TIME.

-Set the dang alarm clock across the room. That way, you gotta get out of bed to turn it off. Once out of bed, go take any meds, or if you don’t have meds, go do a small morning task. Usually doing this small task is enough to get me awake enough to not get back into bed. If I do, well, at least I have taken my meds.

Sensory Issues:

- Fitted sweat pants and hiking pants. I can’t stand tight clothing, but I want to look presentable. Sweatpants that taper can still look decent. Travel pants or hiking pants (you can find these at places like REI), basically look like slacks but are made out of stretchy material. They also usually are made out of quick dry material which is nice.

-Fidget and sensory toys. I really like hedgehog rings which have these little spikes on them I can run my thumb over. Also the tangle. I have a tangle that has a rubber coating that has little bumps on it. What you end up liking might differ, but those are two of my favorite. Also, if anyone gives you shit about these, you can explain “it’s sorta like a stress ball, but instead you [whatever you do with this fidget toy].”

-Ear plugs. I wear these a lot because I have particular issues with sounds, especially certain ones. I prefer either silicone gummy ones or I like these that are “slim” because they don’t make my ears hurt. You can also get musician ear plugs that are made for musicians to protect their hearing, but still be able to hear tones and what is going on, for when sound is simply too load (also good for concerts).

For General ADHD things:

-Work somewhere different. This is a bit limited due to the pandemic currently, but just working at the kitchen table instead of your bedroom can help. In college, I used to go to the library to work. Just the idea that I was going to someplace specific to do a specific task, helped me actually get started.

-Promise yourself that you will work for 10 minutes. Set an alarm if needed. Usually just starting will make the task seem less intimidating. If 10 minutes is too much, do 5.

-Cardio. Get your self moving. This is good for a lot of things, but I highly recommend it for before you have to sit down to work on a task, like school work. I personally run, but if that’s not your thing dance, a class, walking, biking, etc. Just whatever you like.

-Time dependent things are good to get yourself going. Again, this is limited by the pandemic, but for normal times, can you meet a friend for breakfast? Can you schedule your appointment so you have to get to it before you start work? When I was in college, I used to go to morning gym classes before my first class of the day. This got me up and if I was 5 minutes late, it was better to do that for a gym class than a physics class. Bonus because it was exercise and I could focus better on the class.

-In classes, try to find a notes buddy or study group. That way, if you zoned out a moment, you can ask them for the notes from that section and vice versa. Also, meeting up with them is a great way to have a set time to study.

For General Anxiety/ Depression:

-This is going to sound cheesy as fuck, but: Make a list for what you are good at. Things you like about yourself. Things you have accomplished. They don’t have to be super deep, but can be. Do you like your nose? Can you paint your nails well? Are you good at understanding your cat? Are you good at writing? Drawing? Did you overcome a bad test and still manage to pass a class? If you have a friend or significant other that you are comfortable with, ask them to help maybe. Keep this list for when you feel like shit.

-Yoga. I’m sorry to put this on here because it seems like the most neurotypical advice, but. I honestly love this shit. If you haven’t given it a shot, there’s a reason why people like it. You don’t have to belong to a gym to try it. I highly recommend Yoga with Adrienne. She has some great beginner videos.

-Take breaks from social media and news as needed. Seriously. You are a single person and can’t fix everything. Do what you can (share the information, make a donation, join in mutual aid efforts, etc.) but doom scrolling and obsessing won’t help anyone. If you won’t do it for yourself, consider that burning yourself out will make you unable to help later on.

-Create things. They don’t have to be amazing. Crocheting, knitting, drawing, writing, etc. Having something that you can look at and be like “I made that” is really satisfying. Youtube has some great tutorials for pretty much anything. For drawing, I really like Proko. He has some great videos on drawing faces. But again: IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE GOOD.

General Resources/ Advice:

-If you are currently in college, most campuses will have groups for counseling and even limited one on one sessions. Usually, these counseling groups are free and the one on one sessions can help you find a counselor nearby.

-How to ADHD. Seriously I love this youtube channel. She goes over how ADHD affects the brain and has seriously helped me understand it better.

-The Trevor Project. For LGBTQ teens and youth. They have a hotline and many other resources.

-If what is stopping you from getting therapy is the idea that you are being dramatic/ are not that bad/ others have it worse: Go get therapy. What are we going to do, find the one person who has it the worst off than anyone and only they are allowed to feel bad and get help? Screw that. Get some help.

-Remember that there are good things in your future. Where ever you are in life, you have something positive in your future, even if you don’t know it yet. One day, there will be a moment when you look back on the dark times and be so glad you didn’t give up.

-Obligatory: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ (1-800-273-8255). This is national suicide prevention lifeline, for the US. They can help.

-https://www.crisistextline.org/ For when you don’t like phone calls, try texting instead. Has US, Canada, UK, and Ireland numbers.

#well there you go #my post #mental health #coping mechanisms #adhd #depression #anxiety #depression recovery #mental health resources #hope this helps someone #mental health strategies

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babiedeku · 4 years

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hi! a request! so in japanese culture, saying "aishteru" is only reserved for couples with maximum level of romance? how about lets say its years after muzan's defeat, giyuu and reader live a peaceful life together. giyuu looks back at all of the pain and suffering he endured as a demon slayer, but his thoughts are focused to the happy moments with reader. being the airhead he is, he says "aishteru", and reader is shookt bec giyuu literally confessed his deep and unconditional love for her lmaoo

hi anon thank you for this request this made me really soft while writing it! im sorry that it took too long to write, but i hope you still like it! :( and i hope i did our boy justice bc it’s my first time writing about him. here’s soft!Giyuu for y’alls! - marianne

my requests are open!

Life truly is beautiful when you’re not off on missions and don’t have the impending doom of Muzan looming over your heads.

It’s been 5 years after Muzan’s death by the hands of the hashiras along with Tanjirou, Inosuke, Zenitsu, Kanao, and the now back to human Nezuko. He’s lost so many people in his life already and yes he still lost countless of friends, fellow demon slayers, and Oyakata-sama which was the trade off he never wanted, but their deaths were not in vain, because life was now peaceful and beautiful.

Giyuu looked at you beside him, you were reading one of the books that was given to you by Obanai and Mitsuri for your birthday recently, you looked so peaceful and soft all wrapped up in his arm, a small smile on your lips as you continued to read, already engrossed in the story.

You were someone that he never expected to come into his life amidst the raging battles and the constant loss of important figure in his life - you were the one person who stayed with him all throughout the entirety of the nightmare Muzan has subjected everyone in the corps to.

And despite the severity of the situation that was at hand before, your kindness and gentleness to those around you never wavered, instead it just seemingly increased tenfold. Such as that time when you were able to cheer him up unknowingly when he had just returned from a mission he had failed to accomplish, letting the demon get away.

“Giyuu-san,”

He looked up from his sword to see you smiling at him softly, you were fresh from a mission, having just returned last night as well. There were still some healing cuts and bruises that peeked through the collar and sleeves of your uniform, but nothing could ever make you less … pleasing to look at, if anything Giyuu finds it admirable how you were able to take everything in stride.

“I just wanted to drop by and give you this,” You gave him a neatly wrapped bento box that contained his favorite meal, simmered salmon with daikon. “I heard you last night over dinner whispering about how much you missed your favorite dish.”

Giyuu was unsure as to what to say to you, but he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips. “T-thank you, (Y/N)-san”

Having you in his life was a breath of fresh air he never knew he was craving for. You were his rock, the only person to be able to fully see past his stoic expressions and silence.

Giyuu never questioned your ability on being able to read his emotions accurately, and he will never question it, because he’s thankful that he doesn’t have to explain himself to you as much.

“We both know you feel guilty about what happened to Rengoku-san,”

Giyuu just looked at you, a little confused, because you stood by the door frame, with a calm look on your face. He could never understand how you could still be so strong in the news of having just lost one of your colleagues, heck, you were all family at this point.

You both have just lost a member of the family and yet here you stood, calm and collected.

“I should have been the one to have been tasked with that mission,” Was all he was able to say, still not trusting himself with words, because he is not sure how to process these emotions that are bubbling up inside of him.

Crossing his room, you took a seat beside him as he gazed outside his window. “We all signed up for this with the knowledge that each mission could very well be our last. Kyujuro fought with his heart blazing to keep the innocent safe.”

A tear made its way down of his cheek, no longer able to contain his emotions.

Gently grasping Giyuu’s hand into yours, you offered him a soft smile. “He wouldn’t have traded his place with you even if it meant him keeping his life, he would have wanted all of us to take his death as some sort of inspiration to continue the fight against Muzan,”

Even when the nightmare was drawing to a close, you were still there by his side, ready with your warm embrace to shield him from the world, with your words to put his mind and heart at east, and you presence to make it known to him that you will never leave his side, and that you are more than ready to follow him into the fight once more.

He woke up with a jolt, gasping as he tried to make sense of where he was, but all he could see what the familiar decor of the infirmary back at their head quarters.So could that all have just been a dream?

Okayata-sama, Shinobou, Muichiro, Genya - ?

“Tomioka,” You were sitting beside his bed, reading one of the books that Shinobou left lying around in her office. Seeing how shaken Giyuu looked when he whipped his head toward you, and growing realization in his eyes as tears started to form, it broke your heart.

“No,” He croaked, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “please, no.” Giyuu knew it was pointless begging with you, because he knew it himself that no one could give back the people they have lost during the battle.

You could feel your own tears forming in your eyes, it hurt knowing that you have lost people whom you care for deeply and no longer be able to see them, but it also pained you to see Giyuu’s walls get torn down and finally break right before your eyes.

Carefully climbing onto the bed with him, you wrapped him into your arms, his arm wrapping around your waist in a weak attempt to hold onto you.

Giyuu is not a man of many words, and he appreciates that you understand that and don’t hold it against him in times that you seek his loving presence. You have mentioned that he shows his affection to you more so in actions such as compared to words.

And to think that despite the suffering he has endured in his life as a demon slayer, you were always there to shine your bright light to help him get through it and open up your loving arms to give him the warmth and affection that he never thought he needed.

There was a warm feeling in his chest, despite having been married to you for 5 years, he still has some difficulty pinpointing his emotions, and the smile that he just can’t contain whenever he’s with you.

“Aishteru,”

Beside him he heard you giggle softly, causing him to stiffen. Had Giyuu said that out loud? He’s always wanted to say it back to you, but not like this, he wanted it to be special and be said to you at a place that was of significance to you both.

“I love you too, Tomioka, with all my heart.” You said quietly, just loud enough for him to hear, kissing his cheek.

Giyuu, and he was fairly sure of it now, is the luckiest man on earth.

#tomioka giyuu #tomioka x reader #giyuu x reader #giyuu tomioka #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny #tomioka giyuu x reader #giyuu tomioka x reader #giyuu imagines #giyuu tomioka imagines #kimetsu no yaiba imagines #demon slayer imagines

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girdleshears8 · 3 years

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Home Remodeling close to Mea - How to Locate a Great Company

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#home remodeling:home remodeling contractors near me:home remodelers near me:home remodeling near me

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thesublemon · 4 years

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on reviewing

Watched a documentary on Pauline Kael a couple nights ago. It clarified for me why I always find her reviewing refreshing and frustrating by turns. Refreshing because she doesn’t tend to treat genre or subject matter as something sacred. She will watch many kinds of movies with the same degree of curiosity and judgment. Her instincts about whether a movie is working, or lying, or doing something new are also often very on point.

But she falls prey to the two big things that I think make reviewing a flawed, sometimes maybe even useless endeavor. Especially if the goal is to accurately describe what a work is.

1) An inability, or disinterest, in modeling why artistic choices work or don’t. For instance, at one point in the documentary she complains about artists and critics equating repetition with lyricism, and states that repetition in movies simply annoys her because it feels like belaboring a point that she’s already gotten. But that complaint misses out on an opportunity to explore why people would think that repetition is lyrical, or why an artist would reach for it as a choice. And whether, once you’ve modeled what the goal of repetition actually is, maybe there are good and bad versions. If it were me, I would argue that when repetition is good, it doesn’t actually feel like repetition. It feels like riffing. The artistic impact comes not from reiteration, but from reframing—and if it does feel like reiteration, then it’s probably weak repetition. If I were to make a similar complaint about a movie, I might instead complain that a motif did not add or gain complexity each time it appeared. Or I might complain that an attempt to convey monotony by unchanging repetition did not feel worth it, because I didn’t find the underlying point insightful enough to justify the experience of slog. Whatever my exact argument though, the point is that there would be a curiosity and emphasis on what the artist was trying to accomplish. And a generosity about what they could accomplish. As well as a self-awareness about my own values (like “density” and “coherence”) and the fact that I judge works by those values. Without this sort of meta-level mindset, reviews seem to quickly descend into authoritative subjectivity. Kael was good at viciously panning things, but how can a pan help the artist make better work unless it’s accompanied by some sort of model or rationale? Why would an artist listen to your opinion unless you first prove that you understand what they were trying to do? Without a level that exists outside of the reviewer, a review runs the risk of simply being an exhortation to appeal to that reviewer’s taste.

2) A love of saying things that sound good, regardless of whether they’re actually meaningful. At one point in the documentary, Renata Adler, another writer, attempts a takedown of Kael. But ends up making the exact mistake that Kael does.

RENATA ADLER: [Kael] has, in principle, four things she likes: frissons of horror; physical violence depicted in explicit detail; sex scenes, so long as they have an ingredient of cruelty and involve partners who know each other either casually or under perverse circumstances; and fantasies of invasion by, or subjugation of or by, apes, pods, teens, bodysnatchers, and extraterrestrials.

Compare to Kael’s own style of evisceration. Here’s her on The Sound of Music.

PAULINE KAEL: What is it that makes millions of people buy and like THE SOUND OF MUSIC—a tribute to "freshness" that is so mechanically engineered, so shrewdly calculated that the background music rises, the already soft focus blurs and melts, and, upon the instant, you can hear all those noses blowing in the theatre? […] And the phenomenon at the center of the monetary phenomenon? Julie Andrews, with the clean, scrubbed look and the unyieldingly high spirits; the good sport who makes the best of everything; the girl who's so unquestionably good that she carries this one dimension like a shield. […] Wasn't there perhaps one little Von Trapp who didn't want to sing his head off, or who screamed that he wouldn't act out little glockenspiel routines for Papa's party guests, or who got nervous and threw up if he had to get on a stage?

Having read both pieces, I think both writers identify something true about their subject (Adler even makes remarks similar to what I’ve already said). But are the pieces useful? Or accurate in a more total sort of way? Kael had particular kinds of movies she loved, it’s true, and tended to be bad at self-criticism about whether her preferences actually indicated any sort of objective reality. But Adler’s criticism of Kael is no more interested in modeling than Kael’s reviews are. It isn’t interested in an evenhanded consideration of what Kael gets right and wrong and why. What unites Adler’s takedown of Kael and Kael’s takedown of The Sound of Music is that they want to be takedowns. They want to be stylistically rollicking reads that create the aesthetic experience of nailing something to a wall. But the thing about wanting too badly to make an argument “aesthetic” is that it becomes tempting to gloss over anything that would ruin the aesthetic flow. Adler devotes a long paragraph to identifying all of Kael’s tics, and the wall of text is certainly rhetorically effective at making you feel like Kael is some sort of dirty-minded one trick pony. But at the end of the day, it’s rhetoric. Not really argument. Similarly, Kael is so delighted to be able to use phrases like “glockenspiel routines”, that it gets in the way of saying anything more considered. Which isn’t to imply that I think the writers don’t actually believe what they’re saying. On the contrary, I think they hold their opinions powerfully and sincerely, and are trying to identify something wrong in their culture by singling out and drilling down on the sins of one thing in particular. But nonetheless, by caring so much about being good bits of writing—and they are good bits of writing; there’s something juicy and relentless about Kael that sticks with you—they end up empty on the level of argument.

These two failure modes highlight the central problem of reviewing, I think. Which is that reviews tend to be three things at once: ekphrasis, analysis and evaluation (which implies some sort of rubric of quality, whether personal, cultural, or “objective”). This is partly understandable, given that art is an abstract, experiential thing and therefore difficult to evaluate or analyze without some degree of ekphrastic description. It if was easy to say what a work was doing, the artist wouldn’t have needed to make art of it in the first place. So it makes sense that the process of making a work legible enough to opine on would have to trade in artistry itself. It makes sense that in order to show an audience what a work feels like, a review would have to poetically reproduce that feeling. Similar to the way that the translator of a poem needs to be a good poet themselves in order to make the meaning and experience of a poem accessible to an audience in a different language.

The problem is that ekphrasis, being expressive, is also necessarily subjective, and not primarily concerned with logic. Which on its own, is perfectly fine. I’ve written a ton of ekphrasis on this blog. I’m pretty pro-ekphrasis. When it’s done right, there isn’t much like a bulls-eye poetic description of a work to make you feel like you get it on a level you didn’t before. But when that sort of writing is also trying to say whether or not a work is “good”, the expressiveness frequently gets in the way. It’s easy to state or promote an opinion expressively. It’s harder to defend an opinion that way. In good faith, anyhow. Which results in all of these reviews that succeed in observing true or true-feeling things about art, and do so in a sometimes deliciously readable way, but don’t leave me with the feeling that the writer has any consistent or defensible take on how art works. I can’t help thinking that I much prefer reading writing about art that keeps its purpose siloed. So either a piece that tries to poetically explain how a work affected them, or an academic work that tries to argue for an interpretation, or something more philosophical that puts forth a theory of what makes things good and bad and explain why a work does or doesn’t live up to that. I don’t want this to be the case. I think writing that can blend those three modes together is some of the best possible writing about art. But the average reviewer is not really up to the task, despite the fact that the review is probably the most common and widely-read type of writing about art.

(None of which is to say that I’m free of sin these regards. One of the reasons I try to keep the tone of this blog casual is because I want to be able to be able to play with these different modes of writing about art. And see where and when and how I can get away with blending them. It’s a practice space.)

#posts: art

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lycanthrop-ee · 4 years

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Sires and Sons

Chapter 3 of ? First chapter - second chapter

A/N: Back at it again! Yeah that’s all I have to say

Synopsis: When the twins split two years ago, Janus was tasked with raising Remus. His only help was the evasive and sullen Virgil- who he already had to wrangle like a stray teenager. The endless days in the Dark Side’s Mindpalace were broken only by monthly catch-ups with Patton, and the only thing that ever changed the stories that Janus used to get Remus to bed. This time, though, something was different: secrets were slipping through Janus’ lips- and past the divide between Dark and Light.

Ships: Moceit (probably just bg but I don’t actually know can you tell I’m a professional-)

TW: Lots of arguing, let me know if there’s anything else!

Word count: 2097 (oops)

First, the shorter side’s eyes widened, fixed on a point beside Janus as the latter froze. Next, Patton took a short step forward, as if- and Janus had no doubt he was- fighting the urge to run over and wrap Remus in a dad hug. Finally, Patton’s gaze flicked back to Janus, his brows raised with questions. Janus could basically read them off him- what do we do? Are you going to turn around? Has he seen us?

The last was a definitive yes. The young side’s tired skipping had halted as soon as Janus had, and his grip on his guardian’s hand had tightened. The poor kid had never met anyone outside Virgil and Janus- the latter had often wondered how he’d react.

Apparently, this was how- a small voice floated to him.

“Jan?”

His first instinct was to pick the little side up and bolt away with him, but that wouldn’t help anything- Instead, he cleared his throat.

“I… I suppose there are some people you should meet, Remus.”

Patton called to them across the way.

“...Janus?”

And just like that, all the focus was on him. Even though he was only one of three adults here. Janus took a deep breath, clutching Remus’ hand as tightly as ever, and started to pick his way through the trees to the other two. Logan and Patton stiffened at the decision, but waited agonizingly outside the door as the pair made their way forward- the kid’s pace picked up, practically dragging Janus along.

The older side came to a halt twelve feet from the others, Janus picking his gaze from the ground to focus on Logan’s unreadable expression and Patton’s indescribable one. Remus stared at them, eyes wide as he strained against Janus’ hold. Janus broke the silence.

“...Remus. This is Patton and Logan. Patton’s… he’s the one I have my meetings with.”

The tiny side gave them a bright smile, and Janus was amazed at how his cheery personality shone through. Patton, finally accepting the situation, fell into a crouch as though coaxing a feral cat.

“Hey, there, Kiddo. It’s… nice to meet you.” The side’s voice soothed Janus as Remus smiled.

“Hi there! I’m Remus- how do you feel about swear words?”

The tense moment was broken, and even Logan had to stifle a grin as Patton’s eyebrows raised in surprise. Janus laughed.

“He’s a little overtired…” He tried to explain, but found it was no use. “Who am I kidding, he’d have asked anyway. It’s… good to see you again, Patton. Logan.” He nodded at the less familiar side, who acknowledged him similarly.

“I guess there’s no point in hiding that I’ve heard a lot about you,” Patton said, ignoring the question. “I don’t believe the pleasure has been mutual, though.”

They were all saved from the strange conversation by the door opening, Virgil standing delicately at the other side. He opened his mouth to speak before identifying the situation and stiffening, his eyes darting around- no doubt searching for the second small figure that was missing. Janus let out a breath.

“Virgil. Can you take Remus for a moment?” His voice was steady, even as his hands shook. Virgil sensed the delicate tone, nodding and stepping forward to collect the child who did not hesitate to make his resentment known. As they walked back through the door, Remus looked over his shoulder in a way that was all-too similar to the last time the kid had seen anyone new- two years before and certainly out of range of Remus’ memory.

As the door closed, a collective breath was let out, and Janus turned incredulously to the other two. His nerves turned to a delicate anger. “What the hell are you two doing here?!” Patton winced, and he fought off guilt as Logan answered.

“We were here to collect Virgil.” Patton’s eyes widened, and he tried to signal Logan to be quiet with no avail. “He said you two were out.”

Needless to say, this cleared up nothing.

“What- collect Virgil? What do you mean?” Janus watched Logan’s realization as he turned to Patton, speaking in a thinly veiled hiss.

“He doesn’t know? Patton, I thought you two talked!” An unexplained anxiety flooded Janus as his thoughts overlapped and mixed. This wasn’t helped by Patton turning to him delicately, mouth open as his head visibly raced to find the right words.

“We’ve been… Virgil has…” The usually comforting side stuttered strangely, and Janus’ stance was unsteady, alone on his side of the path. “A while ago, Virgil expressed interest in interacting more freely with our side of the mindspace.”

“He wants to join the Light Sides?” The words stumbled from Janus’ lips, fumbling in their eagerness to be answered. Patton winced, reluctant to use such harsh language, but Logan took over more confidently.

“Yes.”

Janus felt unsteady. Patton pressed on.

“Not- not necessarily, Dee, he just- he showed up one day, and it’s been- well, it didn’t go well at first but we’re… I mean, he’s still in no position to…” Patton trailed off as he saw Janus’ expression. He felt it himself- eyebrows furrowed, eyes surprised- a cat from the bag and the rug out from under it. Logan spoke again.

“We’ve been experimenting with the necessity of keeping him separate- whether it’s beneficial or obsolete. Obviously, Remus needs to be here, and you’re here to take care of hi-”

Patton shushed him at this. Janus hardly cared.

Sure, Virgil stayed in his room for the most part- but he really unhappy? Enough to leave him and Remus behind? The Dark Sides mindpalace was hardly pleasant housing, but they were all there together. That was how it had always been. They couldn’t boast the amicable sleepovers Patton often spoke of, but conversations like those the night before kept them all functioning- or so Janus had thought. Looking back on it, he had no clue what happened behind the door to Virgil’s room. Was he unhappy? Struggling? So afraid to talk to Janus that he’d turn to near strangers?

Janus struggled to recover his grasp on the conversation, focusing on straightening his back to maintain his usual on-top-of-things demeanor. “I- well-” He cleared his throat. “What are we going to do about Remus?” Patton frowned.

“He still hasn’t seen Roman, so it’s not too bad, right?” The side looked to Logan, who gave a curt nod.

“It doesn’t affect Thomas at this level. We simply need to find a way to explain our sudden arrival in his life, then remove ourselves from it as soon as possible.”

Janus could accurately pinpoint the moment Logan’s plan stabbed Patton in the heart, no matter how much he tried to soften his reaction. He watched as he tried to find a way to gently break his own opinion to Logan without directly undermining him, timed the moments between Patton’s mouth opening carefully and his voice finally sounding.

“I… Logan, I’m sure it couldn’t hurt to be around Remus now? After all, he already knows about us. He still has no idea- and how would he? Besides,” He added, now directly and obviously pandering. “It might be helpful to see how Remus works in comparison to… maybe we’d understand them both better, then.”

Logan sighed.

“Patton, I understand you find it difficult to move past your emotions for the greater good.” The object of Logan’s remark flinched. “But the less Remus is exposed to us, the better. We’re a variable that can be easily avoided- and one that has been for years now. It’s best that we move past this infraction as painlessly as possible.”

Janus recognized that unless he spoke up and took a stance in the argument, he’d be left behind to stand awkwardly beside the conversation- that wouldn’t do if he wanted to retain some semblance of control. His mind jumped to assess his options:

He could side with Patton, giving his argument a significant boost given Janus’ stance as one of the more rational sides. If he agreed, it may spell out victory for Patton, which could possibly lead to more time spent around him and the other Light Sides. This could also help satisfy Virgil’s urge to be around them while still keeping him close to home. On the other hand, Remus already knew far more about them than Logan and Patton knew- if Remus made the connection, he may end up asking after the representative princes, and that was an extremely slippery slope.

If he sided with Logan, they would easily overpower Patton in debate. The effect this would have on their friendly relationship aside, it would make everything go back to normal.

Or would it? Even if Remus brushed off the encounter as a trick of the forest, Virgil still wanted to leave. That would confuse Remus, who didn’t even know there was anywhere else to go- and what would Janus do with the kid during his meetings with Patton? Maybe they’d end up having to associate anyways…

“Patton’s right,” Janus cut in. “We can’t keep everything secret from Remus- at least, not you two.” For the first time in a while, he let himself feel the full insanity that Remus’ raising had been forced into. He shook his head. “The kid doesn’t even know about Thomas.”

Patton flinched visibly. “Well, that’s… for a good reason, Kiddo, I-”

“I’m not one of your Kiddos.” Janus’ voice was icier than he’d have liked, and Patton’s fragile face fell. “No- Patton, that’s not what I meant.”

The wind blew out of Janus’ sails. He’d argued this with Patton before, and all it had ever accomplished was to put a sour stains on long-awaited summer days. “I just meant that he- he’s still clueless. He’s still young. We could just tell him that you…” He flailed for an explanation. “You’re my new coworkers.”

“And what’s our supposed line of work?” Logan asked drily. Janus took it as a challenge, trying to see the argument objectively.

“We…”

“I don’t want to lie to him,” Patton cut in. Janus raised his eyebrows drily, and Patton stuttered forth. “No, not- I mean, imagine how confused he’d be if…”

“He’s already confused, Patton! This whole thing was your idea- the separation, the secrets. We’ve been lying. His whole life is a lie of omission.” The fatherly side had shrunk under the beration, Logan practically swelling to protect him- Janus couldn’t see why; he was on his side. It’s not like he’d ever hurt Patton- irritation fueled his argument further. “And there’s nothing inherently wrong with lying, obviously I’d be the first to tell you that- but this lie is keeping Remus from a normal, pleasant childhood. We can only do so much when he’s got no one his age- oh, wait. He does! But you couldn’t possibly introduce the two of them because yours is perfect and mine’s wrong.” This sharpness in his words seemed to shake even Logan, to Janus’ satisfaction- which he quickly shoved aside. He was getting off topic. “Remus isn’t stupid. This whole situation, however, is idiotic.” With that, Janus was finished, making room for the opposition’s response.

It was quiet. It was quiet but for a small sniffle, no doubt from Patton. Janus let a sigh hiss though clenched teeth.

“Thomas’ current condition is stable,” Logan spoke evenly. The same irritation Janus was trying to clear bit at him once more.

“But it isn’t maintainable. Not my a long shot. Thomas’ state may be unchanging at the moment, but Remus and Roman both are rapidly developing simply by nature- even without all the secrets, there’s no denying that Thomas is in a stage of growth. Maybe the current stage of his progress is particularly convenient for you, but down here things are bursting at the seams- as, I understand, you’ve been more privy to than I have.” Janus couldn’t suppress the last jab, but afterwords wished he had. He stared at Logan, evening his breath as he watched the other think over his reply. Patton had been pushed out of the argument the way Janus had consciously averted, the taller side noted. The moments stretched out, and Janus allowed himself a cautious sense of accomplishment.

“I suppose a new arrangement is in order,” Logan allowed evenly.

Janus’ chest shuttered as he let out a breath, trying to keep sudden tears away from his eyes at the overwhelming relief that hit him. His gaze flitted to Patton, whose face held a cautious- but still blindingly bright- smile.

A new arrangement… the advisor had spoken.

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theskythatwritesofthisplace · 3 years

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The wolf was never the deadliest.

As the three got closer and closer to the portcullis, Nyx within her wolf and Phoenix as his hellhound form began blowing fire at the doors. The Wolf knew the wood of the portcullis was very strong, very resilient, but it can only take so much heat. They burst through to find cats running a muck amongst the armored ravens inside. With the most Thundurus of barks, the wolf controlled the room and brought it to a standstill. "My nine.. you did mighty fine. Run." Nyx said as she appeared before all of them. The raven for their part stood in astonishment, only ancients were able to connect with their beasts to that degree. She stared at them all with black eyes, wondering if they even cared what pain they were in. "To stand in one's castle without even greeting... Tisk tisk tisk. That's not the Raven Way. So fucking bow!" She gritted. The tallest one of them all stood Resolute and said "Ravens don't take orders from mutts." Phoenix and Kristina went back into their normal form standing side-by-side with Nyx. "Is that so?" Kristina rebuffs. Just before they all could move to attack, a large statue comes down the stairs they're standing on. As they all lie wounded and in agony, Eli jumps out and screams "I DID IT!!! Oh dear I did it. BUT I DID IT!"

"That's great now where are they?" Asked Phoenix. "Third level. Main hall." Yelled Nyx darting up the stairs. She halted dead in her tracks, she turned to Kristina and Phoenix and asked "Go back. Anybody who takes Refuge here I need you to hurry up and get them out of here. Because I fear one of us may be explosive." "Lady Quinn." Whispered Kristina. "If I am what allows the girl to seek vengeance… the one to unleash onto the world. Quinn would be inwardly. She would be what allows the girl to tear away at herself." She replied. Kristina knew the words to be true, for she felt it herself. "Eli did you see them at all? The two would look like Lady Nyx here" asked Phoenix. "Yeah, with longer hair, one much longer. I only got a glimpse. The one kept screaming at the queen wondering what was going on and why she was alive. The other one was flailing around, they were trying to sedate her." Eli answered. Paralyzing fear washed over Nyx's face. "To do something like that will affect three!!! Go go go! We all know what to do!" She screamed pressing forward. Nyx and Eli wasted no time getting through to the main hall, with the wolf bursting through every single door that came in their path.

"Hi honey!" Yelled Nyx bursting through the final door. Eli sheepishly poked his head from behind the wolf to find the maiden brawling with ravens, and Quinn completely unconscious. "THERE'S THREE??" Screamed the raven queen. "What did you do to my pair!!!!!????" Nyx screamed back. In The Mists of the brawl the maiden was able to scream out "They cooled her down too far! Forty-six percent repair, she needs repair! They won't listen!!" Nyx thought to herself what on earth she could do so they'd listen. A lightbulb went off in her head. "Helm to 108!" She screamed out. As soon as the words were done, bolts of lightning emitted from both the maiden and Quinn. Knocking everyone off their feet, including the Raven Queen. They all looked in shocked as the wolf elegantly took back her room. Quinn was awake, but there was something off about her. You could tell, she was only functioning. Her whole body appearance.. gray. "Objective." They said floating in unison. "Save our damned! Kill everything everyone.. who are not our damned." Nyx answered standing resolute. "Unable. Repair required." Quinn whispered. "What is this magic???" The raven queen blurted out. Eli ran to her and politely grabbed her hand, knowing such a thing was actually an atrocity. "She is The Forsaken Child your majesty. I tried to tell you. She is the result of the Mad King. She was trying to die in this realm. I messed that up." He explained. Her eyes widen, not wanting to believe. "KILL HER NOW!!" She yelled. "You'd call a hit on your best fucking bet. Some queen you are." The maiden murmured, taking the raven queen by her throat. "Quinn. Can you hear me… I'm so sorry. I'm sorry everyone hurt you. I'm sorry someone got close to YOU… and he threw you away. But I love you. Let me repair you." Nyx begged. With her eyes gray, she could hide how shattered she was. "We.. we were made for great pain. Weren't we?" She whispered. Nyx stood in front of her pair finally, taking out the small box she found in the trees. She took out a flight cap from the box. She hugged Quinn, held onto her pair as much as she could, for nobody else would. "Show everyone what that is Commander." Nyx replied, placing the cap on Quinn's head.

Quinn lowly whistled to her owl. With harmonies filling the room, the owl came from outside, landing on Quinn's shoulder. "To the waters now? I think it's time. Don't you friend?" She asked her companion. She looked to see that everything was in shambles, her maiden showing violence, her Flames showing absolute control. She began to Glow white as she began to disappear and become one with her owl. "It's too risky!" Said the maiden, holding control over the raven queen. Nyx wanted her pair to be vibrant again. But wasn't sure how. "Go. You got the strategy and you got the time for the Mind. Something's telling me you know exactly what to do. So I'm telling you now, matter-of-factly task, go. Come back to me." Nyx says as her heart finally begins to break. "You can't stop my armored ravens! As strong as you may feel. You're still only feeble." The Raven Queen belts out just before getting punched by the maiden herself. "Show them what that is. Objective accepted." Said Quinn as she began to disappear becoming one with her owl. With all remnants of Quinn gone, Melinoe flew out into the night sky. Melinoe and Quinn as one flew higher and higher to gain the speed that they wanted. And just when they felt like they went too far, they flew back down at an even higher rate of speed. Bursting out lightning bolt criss-crossing the whole entire Battlefield. They saw Kristina and Phoenix doing everything in their power to get away, so she cleared their path. They noticed a few hellhounds going after refugees hiding in trees, with their great talons they swoop down attacking all who were there. "Now you'll see what my mind is.. your majesty" the maiden said with a snarky tone, letting go of the queen. "You're in for a doozy too.." said Nyx with an evil smile.

Quinn and her companion as one flew higher and higher, further away from the portcullis. The further they flew the higher they went. Until they found themselves over water. "Higher Melinoe, higher." Quinn murmured. With the simple request, the owl obliged, taking her higher and higher, higher than she ever gone within this domain. Just as they got high enough, Quinn warmly whispered to her companion "Let me go.." The owl tussled in-flight warning no. "It's alright. I know you want the same things. We'll have them. Let me go." She graciously pleaded. With one twist, one was now two. With Quinn falling into the Lakeside. "Ha!!! All she'll do is drown. A feeble approach." The Raven Queen explained in premature victory. "Not when it could be electrifying." Said Nyx. For a moment the Waters of still. No Life shows. And just when it seemed that she would be dead, the waters began to move. The waters lit up, the water rocked. In one swift movement the water somehow lifted from the lake bed itself. Winds began whip the whole entire night landscape. Allowing the water to sit in plain air. Lightening blanketed the sky but they did not come from it. This screams from one person, stop the voices of many. Everyone who fought stopped and turned to the waters to see who screamed such bloody murder. Both Queens and the wolf looked from the portcullis. Watching this shatter mind finally scream out. And as her screams grew louder and louder and more horrendous, the water began to move in the air. Flooding the night landscape as they knew it. She screamed and she moved forward quickly. Screaming at herself for all the things that she had done. All the things that she had sacrificed. All the things that she was actually able to put herself to the plate for. Everything the queen accomplished. In vain. "What do we ever get to keep? What do I ever get to keep!?" She said as she finally came up to the shores. Pressing her feet into the firm ground as she knew it. With every step she threw lightning bolt. With each one utilizing the water in the air to move too swiftly. Killing everyone in its path. It wasn't over, once that lightning bolt hit the ground it electrified all that stood there. "WOLF!" She screamed.

"Hehe.. that'd be me. I'm just hehe.. gonna go" Nyx said before she jumped out the window. "Wolf!!" Quinn screamed again. With her anger at a fever pitch she began throwing even more lightning bolts striking everyone. She took the essence of all the life that lingered on the ground into herself before she could go into a bloodlust. Once she had taken all that she could get one good breath, she made lightning strike the ground in all places at one time. The three knew that it somehow had to be 3 a.m. factually... But it didn't look it. As both were finally near each other. Quinn was rather frantic "You good?" Nyx asked. The silver in Quinn's eyes said no, detrimentally no. "Why… why.." questioned Quinn. Her pair looked down, and couldn't look her in the face whatsoever. She knew the words to the answer was what was killing her all together. So she would not speak. With her pair's answer clear, Quinn continued to scream with lightning growing bigger and bigger and bigger. With tears streaming down her face she screamed one more time. With a lightning bolt large enough to blanket the whole domain emitting around her. Quinn held herself still in the lightning bolt. Not wanting to let it go. Nyx grabbed her said whispered "I love you.. if no one else.. I'll kiss your forehead. I'll make you laugh, I have before." "Tell me to send him away! Make the pain go away. Please stop this pain. What did I do?" She cried out, making the lightening grow. Nyx held on tighter, knowing she herself was impervious to lightning itself. She hugged her as tightly as she could and screamed out "I miss him too. I want.. I need him back too. You did nothing. But we will hold on to hope." They looked at each other in the eyes and knew that they saw everything they both felt and knew. The lightning began to dissipate. And as they stood there and took accountability of their landscape they looked up at both Queens staring back at them. "Like I told you your majesty... Not if it's fucking electrifying" screamed Nyx, gesturing to every single soul laying dead at the duality's feet.

#walk away #mad for you

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markostazes · 3 years

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Lecture 2: What influences fashion trends?

In this lecture, we discussed what a trend is, how trends start and the power of trends and trend setters.

Starting off, we asked ‘Who influences trends?’ – a very broad question. Taking inspiration from the presentation and my own considerations – I came to the conclusion that trend influencing comes from a variety of sources, including: Stylists, Magazines (i.e Vogue, i-D), Street & Instagram celebrities (such as gullyguyleo and Molly-Mae Hague), Retailers, Celebrities (such as Kanye West and Kim Kardashian), Models (both on and off the catwalk) and subcultures and style tribes.

These influencers have different methods when influencing trends. Gwyneth Holland and Rae Jones discuss the idea of trickle-down theory – the idea that designers, magazines, stylists and retailers dictate trends and feed them to the customer – in their book ‘Fashion Trend Forecasting’. As seen in the list above, a large amount of the influencers use trickle-down theory – coming from high status within and outside the fashion world.

However, due to the increase of social media – in addition to the long standing model of style tribes and peer influence – there is definitely a good amount of bubble-up theory, in which (as explained in ‘Fashion Trend Forecasting’) the consumers’ fashion tastes influence the top designers and influencers.

When looking at celebrity influence, it is clear that not all celebrities are deemed socially stylish. For example, Boris Johnson would not be looked up to for fashion advice. A celebrity such as Kanye West, however, is famous for his impact on trends and what people wear. As soon as he wears a brand, people follow – which actually a huge turning point for the streetwear brand Palace’. Due to our desire to be like celebrities; our desire to be cool and both socially and for the other sex, celebrities have a huge power on trend setting.

This is also clear when browsing lower cost brands. Celebrities or hyped designer items will have cheap imitations made sometimes within a day, so those that can’t afford the high end price tag can still look as fashionable as their celebrity icons.

A task we were given was to research a trend with 3 questions to answer:

For my research, I picked the punk trend. In my opinion, punk never left our shelves. It may have become less popular but studs, patches, rips, and paint splashes have not disappeared from our stores – especially over the recent decade. Stores and designers from Urban Outfitters to Philipp Plein and DSquared all have classic punk aspects visible.

As evident in the answer above, I do think punk fashion is still visible in the youth today. Patches, studs, ripped jeans and paint splatters are all prevalent in today’s youth style. Maybe, without them even being aware of the origins of the style.

As mentioned, it would seem as if the punk evolution is more of a devolution. Aspects of the punk style have been taken and added to otherwise relatively mainstream clothing. Of course, truly punk clothing can still be found. However, it is my belief that the punk theme has transferred more into the streetwear bubble. Brands such as ‘Pleasures’ into a more of a streetwear ethos (with printed shirts, hoodies, trackies, etc).

We then shifted our attention to other forms of trend influencers and how they originate.

The Guardian (2018) stated that what is considered cool in fashion depends on your interests, whether it be jazz, punk, skateboarding, etc. I agree with this statement. I believe that within different interests, there are clear go-to staples within their fashion atmosphere.

This idea is manifested in what is called a subculture. A subculture is a social group that bases itself around a certain ideal, with its attitudes thus affecting the group’s fashion. They define themselves outside of the mainstream, not caring about what is deemed fashionable in society and making their own definition of what is fashionable to THEM. This made them and their fashion exclusive, distinctive and different.

The first subculture is thought to be the Teddy Boys of 1950s London. They adopted Edwardian era garments, wearing tapered trousers, long jackets and waistcoats, due to an over-supply of tailored clothing. This subculture is considered to be the first generation to have its own style, desiring to dress up and stick out from the masses and the fashion sense of the generations above them.

In the present day, the effects and influence from this subculture is still felt. Close resemblance can be seen between photos of the Teddy Boys and Celine AW19 and Yves Saint Laurent AW 14/15.

A later example of a subculture is the hippie era of the 1970s. The subculture’s philosophies and ideals were that life is beautiful and must be lived freely, all must be accepted for who they are and love and positivity should be spread. This was manifested in their fashion through baggy, loose clothing, bright colours and patterns such as paisley and tie dye.

Style tribes can also influence fashion trends. Style tribes are groups of people united by a distinctive look. However, there is no core philosophy or ideology that inspires this look. This is clear when looking at ‘hype beasts’. Hype beasts wear anything as long as it is from a big or popular brand and is loud about it. Supreme and Palace’s logo tees are the first examples that spring to mind. The fashion is about showing off your money (by buying expensive clothes) and showing off that you are in the know as to what brands are cool. This clearly opposes subcultures’ structure to how fashion is evoked. Hippie fashion, for example, is fashionable because it is comfortable, freeing and colourful, which ties in with their philosophy that life should be enjoyed and you should embrace the freedom and beauty of nature.

One slide in the lecture that caught me most was one questioning if we had lost the subcultures and style tribes that informed fashion. In my opinion, due to social media, globalisation and an increase in the perceived pace of life – yes, fashion is beginning to lose long term trends and replace them with fads. I believe that fashion is heading towards an idea that for 3-6 months you wear these sets of hot items, and then move on or you are unfashionable. And due to the increase in instant communication and desirability of social status through social media, less people will be inclined to deviate from these fads and set up or join a subculture or style tribe due to their worry of loosing social status. In the era of the instant communication and social media, we are more scared than ever to deviate from the mainstream.

The lecture then went to discuss the idea that social media has an effect on the evolution of fashion trends. Those that are famous or in control of forms of influence (such as established websites) have power to deem certain looks desirable and undesirable, and the masses will listen. For example, Zoe Zeebo, who started as a YouTube personality (adding to the idea that ‘she is just like you or I’) has gained massive popularity and can now dictate through her videos or blogs what is good or bad, both within and outside of fashion. Similar personalities that gain attention on social media are guaranteed to have an influence on fashion. If a lifestyle vlogger puts a video of their guide to fashion for Autumn – even if it is their opinion of what they individually enjoy and not intended to be a guide – it will gain traction and spread influence. This idea of course is even more powerful and true if the source of the information is someone established within the fashion atmosphere as a whole.

Global issues can also influence fashion. It may be social reaction to wars, social injustice or – as is happening currently – environmentalism. Right now, there is huge social conversation about the environment, global warming, and concern over being harmful to the earth. This is shifting consumer taste to clothing that is environmentally friendly and ethical, which may be accomplished by using botanical and natural dyes as to not pollute, reusing offcuts of fabric, and producing clothing to be biodegradable.

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thecorpulentbeagle · 4 years

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Okujima Week 2020: Shadows

Today’s prompt is “Shadows”, which can mean anything from the monsters in the Metaverse to literal shadows. I decided to make this one a little bit of both!

This story will have spoilers from later in the game, so if you have not reached the Palace after Okumura’s (and since you are reading a fanfiction where Haru is involved, I assume that you have seen her father’s Palace!), then I would wait to read this story.

Please enjoy this second part of the Okujima Week 2020 Challenge!

Here is the fanfiction.net link.

As always: THIS STORY WILL NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR PERSONA 5 ROYAL, BUT WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR PERSONA 5.

Okujima Week 2020 Challenge:

Easing Tension:

Shadows

-Haru-

Sae’s Palace.

It was extremely interesting, as far as Palaces went. To be fair, Haru had only ever seen her own father’s and this current one, so she didn’t have much to compare to.

But this Palace, with the flashing lights and ringing bells from slot machines, was by far the more ostentatious of the two. There was so much stimuli that it was almost overwhelming.

The group had traversed the Palace, and all the while, Haru kept a close eye on Makoto.

She knew the feeling of going through a loved one’s Palace, of seeing the warped ideals and desires of someone you cared about.

That was hard enough, but the fact that you had to experience all of this while being alongside your friends was harder in some ways. It was true that they could comfort you, but it was also something that you wanted to hide from them. It was a personal family affair, and to have outsiders looking in was… uncomfortable to say the least.

So, Haru resolved to be by Makoto’s side, both in spirit and physically. The two had hit it off soon after Haru had joined the Phantom Thieves, and Makoto had been a comfort to Haru ever since her father had passed. The other girl knew what it felt like to lose a father, and Haru had felt comfortable confiding in her. Now, Haru was eager to return the favor.

The Phantom Thieves were currently on the High Limit Floor, which, as the name suggested, gave high rewards in exchange for high risks. They had just managed to get to this floor after having earned the coins to reach it in addition to changing Sae’s cognition to allow them entry without a “reservation”.

The group had learned that they would need 100,000 coins to reach the floor where Sae’s Shadow was waiting for them, and they were now heading over to a place called the “House of Darkness”.

As they made their way, Haru checked on her friend once again. She’d gone through a pretty rough situation just yesterday, and she was concerned that Makoto was still shaken up.

Sae’s Shadow had called the Phantom Thieves “losers”, but that petty and childish insult wasn’t what had really affected Makoto.

It was when she said that prosecutors such as herself rigged trials in order to win them that Makoto became deeply disturbed and upset by her sister’s admittedly deranged behavior.

“Are you serious, Sis!?” Makoto had shouted as her sister’s Shadow, which had been prepared to ascend to the next floor of the casino via elevator.

There had been a pause then, a silence that spoke volumes. Not only was Sae’s Shadow admitting horrific things, she was also refusing to even acknowledge her own sister’s feelings on them.

Haru herself didn’t have any siblings, but she could imagine how hurtful it would feel to be held in such low esteem from someone you trusted and respected. It was clear that Makoto valued her sister’s opinion of her more than almost anyone else’s, and Sae’s deepest thoughts and feelings appeared to not care at all.

It was no surprise that Makoto had then demanded, “Why won’t you answer me!?”

“Mako-chan…” Haru had whispered. Her heart had throbbed painfully at the desperation in her friend’s voice. It had seemed that Makoto was truly putting up a tough façade after all, and that it was finally showing cracks after one too many blows.

Sae’s Shadow had taunted them once more, completely ignoring Makoto, before finally disappearing.

Makoto had insisted that her sister’s thoughts were distorted, and that she had to be stopped. The Phantom Thieves eagerly agreed with her. Haru herself had assured her that everyone felt the same way.

She could be there for Makoto to make sure that she didn’t lose hope, just as she had done the same for Haru.

The Phantom Thieves arrived at the House of Darkness, and listened as the Shadow Assistant explained the rules of the game. It seemed that there would be a maze in the dark.

Haru gulped. She knew that Makoto had a fear of the dark, so she also knew that this next task would not be an easy one.

Before Haru could look to see Makoto’s reaction, she listened as the Shadow Assistant explained that they would be participants in this trial.

“Participants?” Morgana asked.

“Most certainly. The original intent behind the high limit floor is different from that of others. On this floor, VIPs are encouraged to send substitutes to compete in the games in their place. Consider it to be like the horses in horse racing.” The Shadow Assistant looked around. “However… it seems you have no substitutes.”

“Of course we don’t. That should be obvious,” Makoto snapped.

Haru looked to see that Makoto was frowning, which was understandable, as this was quite an annoying road block. But when she looked closer, she saw that Makoto had her hands at her sides, fists clenched.

She also noticed that her hands appeared to be shaking ever so slightly.

It seemed that Makoto was frightened after all.

The Shadow Assistant continued to explain the rules of the game, and the fact that they would receive 10,000 coins for completing the maze, which would go a long way in accomplishing their goal.

But after expressing her astonishment at that, Haru looked back to Makoto. Seeing her standing tall and proud but trembling made Haru’s heart ache once more, and she resolved then and there to help her through this maze as much as she could.

“…Well then, please enjoy.” The Shadow Assistant gestured towards the entrance, stepping aside.

As the group made their way forward, Haru made sure to meet up with Makoto and match her pace. The girl looked at her curiously.

Not wanting to admit that she had deduced Makoto’s fear immediately, Haru decided to ease into her comfort. “How are you holding up, Queen?”

“I’m alright,” Makoto murmured back. She turned to look at the rest of the group, which had moved to be in front of the two. “It’s just a maze, right?”

Haru nodded. “Yes. But it’s also in the dark.”

Makoto’s face twitched. “I know. There’s no need to repeat it.”

Haru realized she’d pushed a little too far. “Queen, I –”

“That’s enough, Noir,” Makoto replied curtly, essentially ending their conversation.

The Phantom Thieves made it to the door, with Akira preparing to open it. Haru made one last attempt to calm Makoto’s nerves.

“Well… just let me know how I can help. I’ll be right next to you the whole time.”

“That’s not necessary. I’m not a child. I’ll be fine.” Haru saw that Makoto’s jaw was now clenched in addition to her fists. She’d never seen the girl so on edge.

“If you say so…”

As the group walked through the doorway into the House of Darkness, Haru realized that it wasn’t just dark… it was pitch black. She couldn’t even make out her fellow comrades.

“God damn! It’s so freakin’ dark!” Haru turned her head toward the source of Ryuji’s voice.

“This is definitely not ‘a little’. We’ve been tricked,” Makoto added. Since Haru had made it a point to stay by her side, she knew where her voice was coming from.

“I’m sensing Shadows too. ‘Very simple,’ my ass,” Futaba complained.

“If we do not ascertain the layout and placement of the enemies, we will surely find ourselves in danger. I just hope there is an adequate way of doing so…” Yusuke’s voice rang through the air as well.

He was right. The Phantom Thieves had already encountered several strong enemies, and they were difficult to fight without this additional handicap. Haru blinked her eyes quickly, hoping that they would somewhat adjust to the darkness.

Then, she felt a slight tug on her hand.

She sucked in a quick breath, and grasped the handle of her axe with her free hand, getting ready to strike. She opened her mouth to warn the rest of the team, looking to her side to see what type of enemy they would be facing.

Instead, she realized that her eyes were slowly making out the form of Makoto. She couldn’t tell what expression she was making because of the lack of light, but she could tell that it was her friend holding onto her hand, and not an enemy preparing to attack.

She eased her hold on her axe, while at the same time, tightening her hold onto Makoto. “Queen?” she asked.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hm?”

“For…” Makoto squeezed her hand. “For being curt with you earlier. I know you’re j-just trying to help.”

Haru didn’t get a chance to respond as the group moved forward, trying to figure out where to go next. It seemed that Akira had a hunch of where to go, and he indicated to the others to follow his footsteps.

Haru kept her hold on Makoto’s hand, and noticed with a smile that Makoto was making every effort to stay next to her and hold her hand as well.

But Haru wanted to address her friend’s apology, as well as the slight tremor in her voice. Keeping her own low to ensure that no one else could hear them, Haru whispered, “It’s alright, Queen. I know that you’re trying to keep calm. I want to help you do that.”

“Thank you… for being so understanding.” Haru felt Makoto move closer, her arm bumping up against hers. “I… don’t want to push you away… but I just… don’t know how to handle all of this right now.”

Haru rubbed her gloved hand with her thumb, hoping to soothe her. Through all of this hand-holding, she could feel the tremors that the other girl was trying so desperately to hide. “I understand. And I don’t blame you for lashing out.”

“I just… feel so cowardly, only talking to you like this because no one else can see. I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to be associated with you.”

“It’s not because of me. It’s because you’re being vulnerable. It’s completely understandable Mako- ehem, Queen.” Haru gave a nervous laugh at almost revealing her real name in the cognitive world.

Makoto chuckled a little at Haru’s slip-up. “Thank you. You always know what to say. I’m very grateful for that.”

“Oh no. I just know what to say when it comes to you.” She paused. “This might be a little rude to say, but you’re easy to read if I look hard enough.”

“Ha. I suppose that’s true. But only for you, I hope?” Makoto sounded extremely sincere, even bordering on… nervous?

Haru knew that she cared deeply for Makoto, but didn’t want to take that final step of confessing, especially not now, given Makoto’s situation. Her feelings were delicate at the moment, and Haru wanted her to be in a place of stability before declaring anything.

Still, statements like that made it very difficult for Haru to not admit her feelings right then and there. Maybe a hint of them would work instead.

“I… might be the only one who looks that deeply,” Haru admitted, feeling a blush on her cheeks.

Makoto pinched the brim of Haru’s hat and tipped it down slightly, which caused her to splutter. “Perhaps.” She chuckled.

Haru straightened out her hat with a huff, nudging Makoto’s shoulder in a teasing rebuke. She wasn’t quite sure if her flirtations were too subtle, or if Makoto didn’t think of her that way, or even if Makoto was pushing away any thoughts or feelings like that for now until they were finished with their mission.

Her musings were interrupted by Akira slamming into a locked door with his shoulder. It didn’t budge.

The group expressed dismay at their bad luck, with Yusuke exclaiming that it was impossible, as this path was the only path available. Akechi indicated that it was most likely a trap, and that the organizers of the maze had no intention of letting any of the participants through.

As Ryuji angrily shouted about the cheating, Haru felt Makoto grip her hand tightly. “Regardless, let’s search for a way past here. We can’t get the coins if we don’t reach the goal.”

It seemed that Makoto had calmed down enough to be able to keep focus on what they had to do. Haru hoped that it was at least in part due to her influence, and that Makoto squeezing her hand just moments before was her seeking Haru’s support. She seemed much more confident than she had been only minutes earlier.

The group set about looking for a new way out, and before too long, Ryuji spoke up.

“Yo, look! There’s a breeze comin’ through here. You think it goes somewhere else!?”

“Hm, how convenient. If they’re not going to let us move forward, we can force our way through here,” Makoto added.

Haru realized that they would not be able to maintain this position, as they were going to need to go through the passageway single-file. She squeezed Makoto’s hand once more before letting go, noting how Makoto’s grip took a split-second longer than normal to loosen.

Haru waited as the rest of the Phantom Thieves went through, seeing as Makoto and herself were still in the back. After a moment’s hesitation, she realized that Makoto wasn’t making a move to enter either.

“Um… after you,” Makoto mumbled. Haru could barely make out that she was gesturing towards the duct.

“Thanks!” Haru chirped, wanting to acknowledge Makoto’s generosity. Besides, it was a comfort knowing that the other girl had her back.

After a few minutes of crawling, the Phantom Thieves emerged, and Akira planned their next move.

Seeing as their group had grown to include nine members, it was getting a little crowded where they were standing. Haru attempted to inch out of the way of the duct so that Makoto could pass through. She made sure to keep close, though, because she wanted to go right back to the physical contact they had before.

She heard rather than saw Makoto emerge from the duct, and she felt her presence as she stood up behind her.

What she wasn’t expecting was for Makoto to continue to walk forward, and she bumped into Haru’s back, gasping slightly. Apparently, she hadn’t heard Akira’s planning and had assumed the rest of the group had made their way onward.

As the other girl apologized, Haru assured her that she was fine. Besides, she didn’t really mind this kind of physical contact with her either. Though it didn’t last long, as the other girl moved quickly away.

A few minutes later, the Phantom Thieves finally arrived at a new part of the maze. Thankfully, this one had light.

“Oooh, we made it through!” Morgana cheered.

“Is that it, though? It feels like there’s more up ahead,” Ann said.

Haru looked to her side to see that Makoto was looking much happier than she had been going into the dark. Of course, her brow was still furrowed in concentration, but that was her normal serious countenance, not a cover-up of fear.

This was the Makoto she knew.

And in her heart of hearts, this was the Makoto that she loved.

Part two is now complete! I always thought that it was a little bit strange that Makoto had no reaction to the House of Darkness, considering how much she freaked out in the Sakura residence.

Granted, being in the Metaverse with her “Queen” attire probably makes her feel more confident (plus the game wanted to be serious at this point without goofy hijinks), but I still thought it was a little off. Maybe they’ll have addressed it in Royal… but probably not!

I also had to go back and re-watch some of Sae’s Palace to write this. I haven’t played Persona 5 in a long while (so that playing Royal feels like a brand-new experience), and I actually forgot some of the details needed for this story (like the name of the maze and some of the dialogue). It was interesting to see how the dialogue could indicate Okujima if you already ship it. The quote where Haru says Makoto’s name sadly as her sister’s Shadow taunts them is actually in-game, so that works enough for me as proof!

All kidding aside – hope that you enjoyed. Tomorrow will be the third installment, so see ya then!

#okujima #okujima week #okujima week 2020 #makoto niijima #haru okumura #makoto x haru #haru x makoto #p5 #persona 5

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aquilamage · 5 years

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I have had the Faraday family on the brain so much lately, and I love them they’re amazing, and I have not written nearly enough of them, so here we are.

The first time it happens, Badd is over at the Faradays’ working on a case.

“Hey Dad, can you come help me with this?”

It isn’t until he pulls his head out of the fridge to berate Faraday for ignoring his daughter that Badd realizes he hasn’t come downstairs yet. Instead, Kay sits at the kitchen table holding a workbook and watching his silence with big eyes and a tiny frown that grows as the moment stretches on.

He soon comes to the conclusion that she hasn’t realized what she’d done. She’s just so used to saying it with her father, and with the familiar setting, it makes enough sense. Badd shakes it off and goes to assist her without comment.

---

The next one he almost misses.

Despite the fact that he was only delivering paperwork, Kay insists on accompanying him around the office. She spends most of the time tucked under his coat (which is helpful, considering that Faraday has gone and pinned his badge on her again. Not that Badd doesn’t also enjoy the poorly concealed annoyance on the other prosecutors’ faces, but he would never admit that. Besides, it’s an inconvenience he’d rather not have to deal with right now) with a practiced step that keeps them from tripping each other up. What she does manage, though, is to startle him a few times. Despite being so much smaller, Kay’s been steadily improving at matching the sound of his footsteps until he almost forgets she’s there. If her tiny bouts of laughter are anything to go by, she’s very much enjoying her newfound ability, and he can’t bring himself to be upset with her about it.

When they get back to Faraday’s office, he holds up the edge of his coat to let her out.

Giggling, she throws out a quick “thanks, Dad!” and reaches for the door handle.

Lost in thought, he nods. It’s a couple steps later when his brain catches up with the content of what she’d said, not just the meaning. It would’ve been easy enough to dismiss it as another accident of the same kind if it hadn’t been for the fact that when Kay sees her father and runs for him, what she yells is “Hi, Daddy!”

---

He still doesn’t address it, even as it continues to happen every so often over the course of the next few months. Which, other than himself being more troubled by the implications, seems to work out alright.

Right up until the moment it very much doesn’t.

It’s at the Faraday household again. Badd is attempting to convince Kay to get going for school while Faraday’s busy in the kitchen. While she does finally give in, his sense of accomplishment is immediately brought crashing to a halt by her response of “alright Dad, I’m moving”, that’s made just as Faraday walks into the room.

Up until now Kay’s only said it with the two of them around, something he hadn’t put much thought into. As he watches Faraday blink in surprise, though, he curses himself for not worrying more about this exact situation. He doesn’t know if he expected Faraday to be angry or weirded out or what, but Badd tenses up even more when the response is laughter. “What?”

Faraday shakes his head and turns to Kay. “Why don’t you take your things out to the car, sweetheart?” As soon as she’s outside, he leans back against the doorway, still smiling, albeit with the beginnings of the thoughtful look he gets when talking to a potential witness.

“Sorry about that.” Reading the atmosphere, there doesn’t feel to be a need for an apology, but in the absence of having anything else to say, Badd throws out an easy way out for the both of them. Something to shrug off the situation and then never have to talk about it again.

So of course Faraday laughs more. “There’s no need for that.” Seeing Badd’s skeptical look, he sighs, looking at him with surprising seriousness. “It isn’t- …I really don’t mind.” A brief pause where his expression teeters a few shades towards concern. “I can talk to her, if it bothers you.”

“No. It’s fine.” He’s surprised by his own response at first. But then when he thinks about it more, it’s not that he’s bothered by Kay’s actions so much as that he’s not unbothered by it. That’s all far too complicated to explain in the moment (especially given that he’s just started tugging at it himself), so all he adds is “but…make sure she knows not to let it happen in front of anyone else.”

Badd sees the way Faraday’s demeanor lifts at his first response, stance more relaxed; the expectant tilt of his head he does when he’s sure the person he’s listening to has something else to say; and the extra moment than usual it takes him to read Badd’s indication of being done with the conversation – but none of it registers at the time. All he notices is Faraday nod, and they head out and go their separate ways without further comment.

---

He’d meant it when he turned down Faraday’s offer to talk to Kay. Despite that, and despite the fact that he also hadn’t had any intention of discussing it with her himself, that’s exactly what he finds himself doing after another dozen or so instances of her calling him ‘Dad’.

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

She licks her fingers clean of sandwich jam before answering, casually, “Because that’s what you are.”

He stares at her from the other side of the bench. It’s in hedged-off grassy area - too small to be called a park but lacking in any other features that could designate it as anything else - almost halfway between her school and his office. “How…do you figure?” They’d learned a long time ago that just telling Kay ‘no’ about something she’d made her mind up on rarely ever worked.

Her eyebrow raised, she stares at him for a moment as if she can’t believe he even has to ask. “You do all the same stuff.” She shrugs.

He wants to argue with her that that’s not true. After all, it’s not like he raised her. He’s just been helping Faraday out. Trading off different tasks when they worked together and occasionally watching her by himself when they weren’t. Making sure she was always kept safe, including teaching her to look out for herself as much as could be expected for her age. And of course seeing to it that she was happy and healthy.

…All of which he’d done on practically a daily basis, pretty much since the day she was born.

Well, shit.

If anything, the urge to protest increases, but he knows any differences he could come up with would be technicalities; everywhere it counts, he has indeed been like a parent to her.

He opts to change the subject then, but it’s something he finds himself spending the rest of the day freaking out about in the back of his mind. Badd has always cared about Kay, and always been keenly aware of that. But…the idea of being a father for her – it’s not what he’d been trying to do or ever even thought of as a possibility, but without him noticing it’s passed from possible to a very obvious in hindsight reality. Practically speaking, there’s nothing that would change because of that title, but in his mind there is a world of difference between “family friend who watches out for a kid a bunch” and “father,” and the responsibilities and expectations associated with the latter are not ones that he wants to mess up. Not with Kay.

“Got something on your mind, Badd?”

He looks up from his papers (that he’d admittedly been staring at without really reading) to see Faraday, sitting on the front of his desk, watching him with a cautious tilt of the head.

Then, of course, there’s the whole other side to the problem. After all, it’s not as if Kay is lacking in a present and caring father already. Hell, he doesn’t think there’s a real person who could be better than Byrne tries to be. The idea of someone else being in that same place…that doesn’t seem like something Faraday would just brush off. And yeah, he hasn’t had a problem so far, but how much beyond ‘casual amusement at his small child’s antics’ is that going to extend?

“Does it really not bother you that Kay’s been calling me dad?” It’s not meant to come as accusatory and sharp as it does, and it takes the both of them off-guard.

Soon enough, though, Faraday recovers. “No,” he says, with the same surety he had the first time.

Badd wants to believe him. To drop it again and just accept that it would all be fine after that. But he’s known Faraday long enough, been paying enough attention to the details of this whole affair in turning them over in his head, that he can tell there’s something else going on. He just doesn’t know what.

In an ideal situation, it would be something benign. Considering how things actually go, he’s pretty sure it’s not, and that does not encourage him to go near the subject. Not only would it affect himself and Kay, but also with Faraday. They’ve been working together for so long, and so well, because they know they can trust each other (none of which he can say about the other prosecutors). Even outside of work, Badd finds him to be an enjoyable person to be around. Sure, Faraday gets on his nerves, but not in the same way that anyone else does (and if he’s being honest, he doesn’t mind it nearly as much as he makes it seem). He’s worked too hard to keep things in a safe place between them to risk things here.

Problem is, their understanding of each other goes both ways. Badd doesn’t actively react to his answer, but it’s easy enough for Faraday to pick up from the stiffness of his body language that something about it is troubling him. “I mean that.” He runs a hand through his hair. Sighs, and continues, more solemnly. “If she’d also stopped calling me dad, then I’d be concerned. But it’s not like I’m being replaced, and if it makes Kay happy without bothering anyone else…” He trails off as Badd continues to stare at him. “What?” It’s said with genuine concern.

Which is fair, since Badd’s expression has grown intense and thoughtful. He doesn’t respond yet, though. He’s much more occupied by the realization that what Faraday’s said has reminded him of a different conversation they had ages ago.

He can’t recall the exact context of what led up to the question, but since what followed was the important part, he supposes he shouldn’t worry. Kay had been about four (and Badd has to take a moment to think about when exactly he started measuring memories with her as a baseline. He doesn’t know) when he’d stumbled on the question of why Faraday hadn’t had a significant other since before Kay was born.

“I’ve managed just fine on my own so far, haven’t I?” he responded with the usual deceptively careless confidence.

Badd raised an eyebrow.

He sighed. “Alright. We’ve been doing fine. I don’t recall asking for your help, though.”

He hadn’t. Despite being in a near-constant state of exhaustion in the months following Kay’s birth (not helped by the fact that he’d gone back to work almost right away instead of giving his body a break), Faraday had refused to let Badd do anything. Getting Faraday to accept help had been less ‘making an argument that he agreed with’ and more ‘literally taking Kay out of his arms when he fell asleep holding her and staring him down when he tried to argue his way into getting her back the moment he regained consciousness.’ It wasn’t often that he was that destructively stubborn, but for better or for frustrating, Badd soon learned Faraday would always have an extra layer of caution when it came to his little girl.

“Besides, that’s not even…” He paused, sighed. “Well, it does have to do with Kay, but not like that.” His words took on an even, steady pace that usually only comes with practice. Clearly this was something he’d been thinking on a lot. “There aren’t a lot of people out there who are interested in someone who’s already got a kid. Even among the ones who don’t have a problem with it, the prevailing attitude I’ve encountered is that they’re willing to ‘work around it’ rather than having an active interest in her as a person too. That’s not what I want for her.” He leaned back against the wall, hands in his pockets. “Kay deserves someone who loves her absolutely, and I’m not even going to consider anyone willing to do less.”

For a moment, Badd simply stood there, trying not to stare, to give anything away. The conviction in Byrne’s voice alone was like nothing he’d ever heard, something he’d felt echo through him. And honestly, when he thought about it, based on what he knew of him, he would’ve been disappointed to hear anything less from the likes of Faraday. Instead of any of that, though, he said, “You might be…waiting a long time on that.”

He smiled. “If it makes Kay happy, I can live with that.”

---

Now, he doesn’t know if the connection truly was intentional, but there’s something about the way it was said that Badd can’t ignore. He softens his voice, trying to keep his expression safely neutral. “You got something you want to say to me, Byrne?”

He jolts out of his slouch. “I don’t know what you mean.” With the light of the encroaching sunset at his back, it’s hard to see well enough to make out his facial expressions, but there’s clearly the same flavor of defensive posture as when he’s thrown off-guard in court.

Again, it would be so easy to use that as a cue to stop pushing. Badd doesn’t know whether he’s nervous about being right or afraid of being wrong, but suddenly what Byrne’s trying to hide might not be such a bad thing and he has to at least try. He raises an eyebrow, doesn’t give any ground. “All I’m saying is, I’m pretty sure we’re both remembering the same other conversation about you doing things for Kay.”

Faraday sucks in a breath. Then, after a moment, he sighs, slow and heavy. The tension’s gone from his body, but he’s not so much relaxed as resigned. “I should’ve expected you would figure it out eventually, no matter how much I tried to hide it.” A dry laugh. “Not that I even intended for it to happen in the first place. I mean, when I said about Kay and someone caring about her, and-“ Shaking his head, he gets off the desk. “I’m sorry.”

Even despite the fact that he’d started thinking things could go this way, hearing the confirmation leaves Badd stunned. He’s always known Byrne enjoyed being around him, the whole deal, but he’d never thought he would have feelings for him (that’s a bit simple of a way of putting it, but the first alternative phrasing his brain supplies is far too direct and too much for him to consider thinking yet). Because of this, it takes him a while to register that Faraday is going through the files of his drawers. “What…are you doing?”

“Look, it’s your choice, but I don’t know how comfortable you’d be still working together, considering.” He looks up from where he’s kneeling to where Badd is standing on the other side of the desk. There’s something deep in his eyes, a fear that Badd’s never seen from him before. “You don’t have to stick around, but…if we could at least figure out something to soften the blow for Kay?”

Oh. “Is that why you never said anything?” Taking care to soften his movements as much as possible, he moves over to sit on the floor next to Faraday.

After a moment’s consideration, he plops down as well. “I know, right?” He rests his head in between his knees. “Finally find someone who cares about her, but then I realize I’m still in a situation where doing anything about it would compromise things.” A hand combs his hair out of his face. “Well, that and,” the same hand waves as much in the vague direction of between the two of them as it can considering that he’s not looking. “Prosecutor. Detective. I didn’t want to make you feel pressured to act a certain way, even unintentionally.”

There are so many ways he could respond to that, but he settles for the simplest, most general but true. He doesn’t want to press Faraday’s nerves so far so fast. “As if…I ever let that happen before now.”

There’s a lengthy pause in which the only apparent movement is his breathing and his eyes darting back and forth as he thinks. Finally, he laughs weakly. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.” He sits up enough to cross his arms over his knees and then rest his chin on that, still staring at the underside of his desk.

When Faraday doesn’t make any other moves, Badd huffs. He certainly can’t blame him for not picking up on the full meaning of what he’d said, in the circumstances. And since Byrne’s already gone and done the harder part, it’s only fair that he makes sure the truth on his side is fully laid out as well. “It’s not terrible reasoning. But there’s a few things you haven’t considered.”

Byrne turns his head just enough to look at him.

“Like…if I really cared about Kay so much, knowing how attached she is to me, you really think I'd drop out of her life like that, no matter how I felt about you?"

His eyes widen to an extent that would be comical were it not for the grimace that follows as he smacks himself on the forehead. He takes a long breath. “I’m pretty stupid, huh?”

“No. Just dense, sometimes.”

The familiar response does some to lessen his tension. "I guess we'll figure something out, then." Byrne closes his eyes, and his posture has something of his usual, animated self in it again even as he rests for a beat. Then he tilts his head to the side. He draws his words out as he picks them, carefully, half question half accusatory statement. “You said- things… I hadn’t considered.”

“Yeah.”

He shifts to face him. “What else?”

"Your other assumption...was that your feelings were going to be a problem for me in the first place." Badd finds himself leaning in as he speaks, dropping his voice even though there isn’t a need for it.

A flash of confusion across his face. “You don’t mean…?”

The fearful disbelief in Byrne’s tone is what gets to him most out of everything that’s happened. The raw feeling to it, even with Byrne knowing what the intent behind Badd’s words has to be – if he’d had any doubts about whether Byrne really felt that way about him, they’re gone now. Badd knows it’s only fair, then, to give him the same absolute certainty.

Well, evidence usually did the trick. So, in response, Badd simply tugs at his scarf, gently pulling Byrne forward to kiss him.

It lasts a few seconds wherein Byrne doesn’t react at all. When they pull away, he simply breathes out a barely audible “oh.” But then, before Badd can voice the concerns that have begun to sprout, Byrne throws his arms over Badd’s shoulders and all but yanks him into a second, much more fervent kiss of his own.

#Tyrell Badd #Detective Badd #Byrne Faraday #Kay Faraday #baddbyrne #oh heck what's the actual ship name? is there one? this is what I usually call it anyway so lets go with that #faraday fam #Ace Attorney #my writing #fanfiction #listen any iteration of these two together is Good but I think we all know the best version is obviously Kay's Dads first other stuff second #this is. GOING to still need some editing later just because I'm a grump who's never happy with their own work #but it's definitely not bad right now and I Want To Share #rambles

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cristinaarce · 4 years

Photo

PROGRESS REPORT – WEEK 4

This week has been a little slow because I had work to do, but I was able to accomplish some important tasks.

The best news of this week is:

THE PROTOTYPE PRODUCTS ARRIVED!!!!

After many weeks waiting what it felt like an eternity, the prototypes products arrived.

The first one was the Chinese supplier, which included a personalized note from the manufacture apologizing for the delay and explained what happened, which I consider it was a nice detail from them. According to them, they were running into some last-minute adjustments and paperwork in the import/export regulations from their country due to some changes of policies at the Canadian border due to the “new NATFA” modifications (now called Canada-United States-Mexico Agreement CUSMA) that happened two/three weeks ago, and ensure their normal shipping and custom processes are a lot faster.

Not really sure how the Chinese import/exports may be affected by the CUSMA agreement, but the truth is that I received the products at the end of the day of last Monday, which was actually the fastest of the three suppliers even with the mentioned issues.

Two days later, I was contacted by the Fedex office requesting a custom fees to be paid to be able to deliver a package coming from Latvia. Latvia? At the beginning I thought it was a scam but after checking the tracking numbers and also the information provided by them, I realized it was the order from the US supplier. This order ended coming from a Latvia fulfilment center and not from California where they are actually located. I sent an email to the supplier asking about this, and they said that because of the Covid-19 pandemic the entire state of California was ordered to close once again, and they had to shut down. As a solution to this problem outside their control, they had to contact their sister company located in Latvia asking them to fulfill the orders of their customers temporarily until California is allowed to open again. They say their priority was to get the products to their clients as promised even if they are coming from another their sister manufacture, instead of letting everybody down. They posted about this in their website, blog, and social media which I missed, so I was not aware of the situation.

Since the package came from Latvia and Canada does not have any trade agreement with them, I had to pay for the additional custom fees, which were not cheap.

And today I have received the Canadian one.

Although I paid an expensive premium shipping to rush a 1-2 days delivery for all orders, the Canadian supplier sent the products using normal shipping from Canada Post, which meant an additional 6 days to what I actually requested and paid for. This supplier is located in Montreal, so probably it could have been faster for me to drive up there and get the products than waiting and paying for their delivery. But it is what it is.

PRODUCT PHOTOGRAPHY

This week I will be setting up my photography and studio equipment to be able to take the professional photos of all the products I have received.

After taking the photos of the products I will edit the backgrounds to match them all and give the website a professional look.

I have already some mock-ups made but I will be also adding the actual photos of the products. These mock-ups are a general view of the products, but the product photographs I will be taking will be about the details and finishes of the products.

(Image source, google images. Not my product).

E-COMMERCE STORE

The store is 80% finished. I still need to write the content for the few last pages, create and upload the final designs for the products, upload the new photographs of the products, and finalize the collection pages.

These days I have been writing all the product descriptions, trying to apply some SEO suggestions so hopefully the pages will rank in Google, and the website could be found.

I have also setting up the SKUs for each product, each size and material of each product. Creating SKUs have been a learning experience, because I need to set them up in a way that the store can potentially grow by adding more products. But also, easy to understand that any future employee could recognize what each SKU means. ...And without repeating them! - Definitely not an easy task!

It has been a LOT of work, because I normally create a website in a few months, not only a couple weeks! And an E-commerce requires a lot of logistics that a simple informational website does not have.

SOCIAL MEDIA

I have started the designs for the first week of posts for Instagram, and I will schedule them hopefully in the next couple days, so at least my social media channels are not empty.

After I edit and finish the product photographs, I will start sharing them also on social media. This way, if someone runs into my social media channels by pure random luck, there will be something to show.

GOALS! GOALS! GOALS!

I know that as part of the class and in previous assignments I have set up a goal of making profit for the end of the class, but I want to also be realistic of the limited time available at this point.

I have been pushing myself as much as I can to finish everything as soon as possible, so I can actually launch the finished store before the end of this course and at least have a couple sales. But to be entirely honest, even if I cannot reach that goal within the timeline given, I am proud of what I have been able to accomplish until now.

Yes, it would be very disappointed to lose marks because of it, but the truth is: I am here for the long run. The feedback I have been getting from the people I have shown the project and just some sketches of the website have been extremely positive. And I think the E-commerce at this point looks even better than those sketches which makes me super excited of what its coming.

Don’t get me wrong, I will keep pushing myself even more the next couple weeks to work harder and will try to do even the impossible to make this happen, because it has been truly a very rewarding process to see this business idea slowly becoming a reality. :)

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sethrine-writes · 5 years

Text

My Heart, It Beats For You

Pairing: Nines/RK900 x Reader

Words: 2485

Warnings: Super fluffy shmoop

Summary: Nines didn’t understand the intricacies of affection, not at first. You came into his life, however, and he began to learn. His love for you was intense and overwhelming, and everything he never knew he needed until it happened. He planned a surprise for you, but as he has learned, not all relationships follow a set path. It all works out beautifully, in the end.

A/N: This is the fic that was voted for on my other blog! You guys wanted some Nines with some fluff and happiness, and I finally get to deliver it to you! Happy Valentine’s Day, my lovelies!

------

At first, Nines didn’t understand the intricacies of small affections and tokens of said affection.

For one, such knowledge hadn’t been wired into his programming, having been created to be less responsive to outer emotional stimuli in order to lower his chances of deviancy. He could mimic emotional reactions, sure, but only by playing off what the individual in front of him was expressing, and only enough to get what he needed out of a suspect. He had a goal, then, and empathy did not play a role in it.

Deviancy was, naturally, absolute hell on his processors.

Where once, there was nothing, he suddenly felt everything, a flood of information washing over him in overwhelming emotional impulses that demanded to be acknowledged. It was a new experience, and life held purpose outside of objectives and getting the job done, by any means necessary. It was frightening, and angering, and too much for Nines to handle so suddenly and without warning.

Because of this, he was quick to learn how to keep everything to himself, remaining cool and collected in the face of his peers. There was too much to learn and experience, having practically been reborn within the deviancy coding, and letting on that he was but an infant in a world that had grown and learned over millennia of human interaction would be more than overwhelmingly embarrassing.

For weeks, months, even, he was fine, or as fine as an emotionally constipated android could be.

You came into his life six short months after he became deviant, however, and life suddenly had a whole new mess of meaning-

Which led into the next reason affectionate intricacies had a habit of eluding him, at least for a while.

He understood rationale and logic better than anything, or anyone, else, and in his first approach into his relationship with you, it was one of the things he continued to count on. Nines came to realize rather quickly that an actual relationship didn’t just merit on simple facts or follow step-by-step algorithms.

If anything, you helped him to see such reasoning with a mix of analogies that stuck with him since there utterance:

“It’s like…like you’re stuck in monochrome, when all around you is a world full of so many colors and facets. You act along flat lines, but everyone else is shaped and continues to branch out. Does that make sense?”

At first, it didn’t, not quite, but over time, Nines began to see what you were trying to tell him.

In many ways, he had not embraced his deviancy and had elected to remain machine-like in his approach to most things. In a relationship, he couldn’t do that, not without seeming far too distant, despite his growing infatuation with you.

He was exactly as you described – monochromatic, walking a drab line back and forth as if it was his sole purpose in life. All he had to do was branch off the path just once, and the colors would come to him.

And with that daring, hesitant step forward, many things he thought trivial and unnecessary began to make sense just as much as they became confusing.

In hindsight, he understood that each individual was different, and that each person, be it human or android, would require different amounts, as well as different levels, of certain wants and needs. He also understood that there was a time and place to enact these specific wants and needs, usually when together with a significant other, and usually when they felt most comfortable.

Nines recalled the first time he kissed you in public. The look of surprise upon your face and the light flush against your cheeks had delighted him in a way he couldn’t explain…until you shied away from him, nervous and embarrassed as others looked your way.

Apparently, sharing a kiss while you were at work was not an ideal move, something he had taken note of before, but Nines had been overcome with the need to show his appreciation for you. It only made sense for him to express such strong emotional attachment in a way you would both find pleasing and tasteful.

It was a mistake he made only once, and one you had tentatively explained reasoning behind why it wasn’t an ideal moment.

From then on, he began to take note.

He was much more versed in the intricacies of relationships than he was at the very beginning, and with each passing day, he continued to learn more to ensure that he could make your relationship last.

Something Nines had learned over the months was that he was happy with you. He felt more alive than he had ever felt when he was with you. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to ensure your happiness, and the thought alone was both grounding and frightening in its intensity. He was completely serious in his understanding that whatever you wished of him, he would accomplish without any hesitation.

How lucky he was to have your gentle heart, then, because all you ever truly wanted out of him was his own happiness.

His thought process was halted momentarily at the sound of the front door being unlocked. He listened to the movements as the door swung open, identifying your light footfall and the relieved sigh you exuded at finally being home from a long day at work. So focused on your task of winding down, you didn’t even realize he was there until you had already shucked your shoes and placed your coat on one of the hooks by the door.

“Oh! Nines! I didn’t expect you home, already.”

“I had a shorter day then expected,” he answered as you made your way to the couch, where he currently resided.

You were smiling lightly as you leaned toward him, his preconstruction software having already anticipated the move. The touch of your lips followed an instant later, your kiss sweet and chaste – or it would have been, had Nines not followed your departure to make the kiss linger a bit longer. When you finally pulled away, it was with an amused chuckle and an even bigger smile.

“Well, hello to you, too,” you greeted with a bit of sass, of which Nines hummed at in his own amusement.

“How was your day?”

“Well, same ol’, same ol’, nothing really new. Busier, this time of year, but I’ve gotten pretty used to it. You?”

“Nothing new,” he repeated. “Connor would like us to come over next weekend for a movie night, should you find the day apt.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you answered, moving toward the kitchen. “I’ll put it on the calendar, so I don’t forget.”

Nines was quick to stand and follow you from an appropriate distance, knowing you were looking for something to drink. When you opened the fridge, you gave a light gasp, looking to Nines with surprised eyes.

“You’ve been to the store, I see,” you mused, surprised to find everything restocked, as well as a bottle of your favorite wine chilling at the bottom. “Mm, and you plan on getting me wine-drunk? To what do I owe the occasion?”

“No occasion,” Nines answered. “I recalled it was your favorite, and the selection had just been restocked. It will pair nicely with dinner, tonight.”

“Oh?” you queried, of which Nines only answered with a knowing smile. You huffed out a chuckle, shaking your head lightly as you reached for a bottle of water.

“Go ahead and keep your secrets, then,” you playfully quipped, moving toward the dining room.

You paused just short of leaving the kitchen, eyes glued to the display ahead for a long moment. With a furrowed brow, you turned back to look at him, clearly confused just as much as you were surprised.

“Are you sure I’m not missing something, I don’t know…important?”

You turned back to glance at the dining room table, moving forward to inspect the bouquet of calla lilies sitting in a beautiful glass vase right in the center. The lilies were colored with pinks and purples, a gorgeous array that you definitely hadn’t been expecting. If anything, you seemed more nervous at finding them there, though it was because you believed you had missed an important date.

“I don’t require a reason to surprise you, do I?” Nines questioned lightly, amused just as he was a tad confused, himself. He was almost sure he’d done things right for what he had planned, yet your own perplexed expression had him worried he had overstepped some sort of unknown boundary.

“Of course not,” you answered him, moving closer to ease him with the gentle stroke of a hand against his cheek. “It’s just…well, the wine, the secret dinner plan, and then the flowers? It’s all wonderful, but it also makes me think there’s something I might have missed. Our one-year anniversary is still a couple of months away, isn’t it?”

“It is,” he said, “but this isn’t a missed occasion, my heart. Rather, perhaps, this is a new one in the making.”

Your brows furrowed a bit more, head tilting just slightly to the side.

He was going to wait until after dinner, as seemed to be customary, but he had learned many months ago that not all relationships relied on custom.

With a gentle smile in place, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. You eyed it quizzically, though he could make out the dilation of your eyes and noted the increased beat of your heart.

“It’s not quite what you may think it is,” he began as he handed the box to you, ensuring your shaking fingers had a good hold of the item before he pulled back. “I wanted this evening to be a surprise that led to a special gift, though I hadn’t anticipated your panic. I feel as if I may have done something wrong.”

“No, no,” you assured, “it’s my fault. I’m sorry. I was worried I had missed something important and hadn’t gotten you a gift. I would have felt horrible for forgetting!”

Your panic began to make sense, then. It was something he would have to plan accordingly, next time. For that moment, he awaited your reaction to the gift he had worked hard on obtaining; it was a piece he had worked closely with the creator of to ensure his exact specifications.

Sensing the shift, your eyes darted down to the gift, fingers moving to open the top of the hinged box. Upon inspecting the jewelry within, your eyes widened considerably, lips falling open in absolute shock. You looked up at him, then back at the gift, and then once more at him before your gaze darted to his temple, where his L.E.D. indicator resided.

You recognized what it was, then.

“I know it’s a bit early for you to fully commit to anything,” Nines began as he reached for the box, gently prying it from your fingers, “but I did some research into other customs and traditions. I found that significant others will, oftentimes, give their partner a promise ring, of which can mean any number of things, depending on the person and the length of the relationship.”

As he spoke, Nines carefully removed the piece of jewelry from the box, revealing the full length of the twinkling chain that held in place a circular pendant. The whole time, your eyes darted between his tender gaze and the beautiful necklace he held, fingers suspending it between the both of you.

“In that regard, perhaps I was a bit literal,” he quipped, “though you have an affinity for necklaces, and I concluded you would be more susceptible to wearing one.”

He reached with his free hand and took hold of one of yours, pulling it between you and maneuvering the circular ring to lay flat against your skin. Within moments, the ring lit up, much to your surprise, circling a vibrant yellow color that was all too familiar to your eyes. Startled, you looked again at Nines, only to notice that his L.E.D. was circling a cool, gentle blue.

“It reacts to you, what you think and feel,” Nines explained. “Quite similar to how my indicator can announce my processing as well as my distress. I am also connected to the pendant, and when you wear it…”

Nines hesitated a moment, unsure if his next words would come across the way he wanted them to. Your gaze was expectant, however, as if you wanted to know exactly what he meant to say.

“When I wear it-?”

“I can feel your heartbeat.”

The room grew quiet, the air vibrating with energy Nines couldn’t quite explain. Your eyes remained glued to his for so long, he worried he had upset you. You blinked after another long moment, however, lashes fluttering as a disbelieving smile lit your face.

“You are such a sap.”

You turned your back to him, a move that was almost alarming until you looked over your shoulder at him in anticipation. He understood and quickly moved into action, maneuvering the necklace over your head and between his fingers until he was able to clasp it around your neck. When it was in place, you turned back to him, straightening the pendant until it was flat against your skin and centered on your chest.

The indicator was a cool, gentle blue.

“Oh,” Nines said, the simple exclamation nearly breathy and just as gentle. His eyes slipped closed for just a brief moment, his system being overtaken by the steady drum of your heart. When he opened his eyes again, it was to the look of pure adoration.

“Oh,” you repeated, eyes glossy and almost teary as a smile lit your face unlike any other. You touched the pendant against your skin almost reverently, pulling it up momentarily, only to find that the color had changed.

“It’s…it’s pink,” you startled, surprised by a color you had never seen before on any other android’s indicator. “What does that mean?”

Nines couldn’t help but stare in awe, knowing full well what the color symbolized, though he hadn’t expected to see it so soon.

“I love you,” he said, though whether that was the answer to your question or just his proclamation of love for you, it was hard to tell.

As soon as the words left him, you were in his arms, his lips lovingly pressing against yours in a kiss that expressed the absolute adoration and devotion he held for you. You returned the intimate embrace with utmost ease, your heart stuttering away in your chest and within his head.

Nines may not have known the intricacies of affection, at least, not at first, but he was getting the hang of it. He had you, all of you, for as long as you wanted him. There wasn’t much more he could ever want from the world.

#dbh #detroit become human #dbh x reader #detroit become human x reader #dbh rk900 x reader #dbh rk900 #dbh nines x reader #dbh nines #Happy Valentine's Day my lovelies!

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clairekatswritingcorner · 4 years

Text

Love Letters

Word Count: 1,289

Summary: Rhys writes D a special letter to confess all the things he loves about her that are often hard to verbalize. D is naturally quite taken aback by the gesture, not just due to the letter’s contents, but also by the fact that Rhys would bother to do something so nice for her in the first place.

For @robotarmjokes!

If you enjoyed reading this piece, please consider leaving a tip or commissioning me!

*****

He fiddled with the envelope in his hands, unable to suppress the anxious fidgeting tingling in his nerves. Widely known as the man that had spearheaded Hyperion’s downfall and raised Atlas from the ashes in its place, there should have been little that could faze him. But appearances seldom reflect the whole truth, and just like anyone else, he wasn’t immune to everything. Quite the opposite, actually, since he figured he was put off by things more often than most, even his wife. She frequently lamented and berated herself for her shortcomings, the little things that upset or unsettled her that she assumed were mainly inconsequential in the eyes of others. Rhys knew that wasn’t the case as a result of his own experiences, and he wished he could do more to help her understand the validity of her position.

But that persuasive process was going to have to wait; today, she happened to lie at the root of his problems. Not due to anything she’d done or said, since the predicament he found himself in was a rather unfortunately personal and self-inflicted one. Standing outside the door to her workshop, the place where she organized and conducted the majority of her top-secret work and contracts, his gaze flitted restlessly between the knob and the paper that crinkled between his shaking fingers. Objectively, it wasn’t a big deal, and he silently scolded himself as seconds stretched into minutes, knowing deep down that he should have been more than capable of easily accomplishing this task. Perhaps it was just the nature of the act, the risk that came with confronting her so directly, but he’d engaged in other awkward and downright foolish actions in the past and never suffered anything close to the panic and paranoia he was now.

It wasn’t like this was his first time giving her a gift. Well, he supposed it was the first time he’d given her something like this, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was about this specific kind of gift that made him feel like he was sinking in a tsunami of self-doubt. It was almost as if he’d regressed back into a helpless pining schoolboy, nervous yet resolute in his mission to make a good impression…clinging to the hope that his crush would give him even a sliver of a chance to prove himself. But this was his spouse he was talking about! The person he’d married, his better half who’d made everything from the proposal to the ceremony the best moments of his life. Their relationship hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing from the start, but few worthwhile relationships are. With the combination of a spark and a lingering will of dedication, almost anyone can withstand even the harshest storms together…at least that’s what Rhys had learned from his time with his darling D.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, raising a hand to knock and hesitating just a second more. Was he worried she was going to laugh at him, or reject him? Was he scared of this act he’d poured his heart and soul into falling flat, and the crippling disappointment that would surely follow? If D could manage to push through her insecurities to do better for him, the least he could do was give her the same courtesy. Rather than plunging headfirst into the unknown, though, he opted to employ a more cautious method, slipping the unassuming looking note under the door. He retreated after knocking a few times, her irritated demand to know who’d come to interrupt her following him down the hall. He figured he’d use the extra time he’d gained to properly prepare to face her reaction, regardless of how wonderful or terrible it turned out to be.

As the hours ticked by, he found himself starting to regret his decision to flee. The sound of creaking hinges and approaching footsteps snapped him back to reality, and the moment he laid eyes on her his breath was taken away. She didn’t necessarily look much different than usual…but he could tell she’d been both flustered and crying, taken aback by the honest and heartfelt nature of his modest offering. A letter detailing some of the things he loved about her, how she’d improved his life since they’d met, how much happier he was now that she was in his life. Without her, he never would have been able to achieve the happiness he had now…and his life would never be the same because of it. He hoped he’d managed to make her feel at least a fraction of the same way.

“What’s the meaning of this?” she demanded, although he could tell she wasn’t asking in a derogatory or disgruntled way.

“I just wanted to give you a little something to show I care,” he explained, stepping across the room to close the gap between them. “I mean, I know it’s not much, but…”

“Why did you make me something like this?”

He was more interested to know how she felt about receiving it, but he supposed he could humor her questions a little longer. “Well, you’ve said before that gifts make you uncomfortable. Maybe you didn’t use that phrasing exactly, but I know you’ve mentioned that getting something like a letter, a more sentimental and subdued expression of thanks or admiration, is easier for you to accept. I’ve had a lot on my mind about us, about you, especially with our anniversary coming up. So, I decided to put some of those feelings on paper…and give that paper to you, hoping that maybe it would, I don’t know, help brighten your day or something.”

She had to remind herself not to clench her fist and subsequently crumple the precious pages in her hands. Multiple paragraphs of passionate prose that clearly reflected his struggle to translate the cornucopia of feelings that fueled his affection into something coherent. Even if some parts of it were confusing or failed to make sense, the one thing that had made it through crystal clear was his ardent and abundant love for her. She’d felt similar sentiments flood her chest as she’d read this ode to his emotions, taking in his adoration and gratitude for their relationship and everything about her in general. She knew sometimes the hardest thing to do was simply putting thoughts into words, and this must have been one of the most taxing attempts he’d ever made. She couldn’t think of a more complicated topic to parse.

“This was very thoughtful of you…and very kind,” she finally confessed, setting the papers down on the nearest surface. “It’s the first time anyone’s ever done something like this for me. The first time someone’s actually bothered to remember me saying something like that, too…something so small I can’t believe you bothered paying attention.”

“Nothing’s too small to pay attention to when it comes to you,” Rhys insisted, coaxing her a bit closer before tenderly kissing her neon fringe of hair. “You’re the most important thing in the whole universe to me. I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it again, many more times…but it’s just something I really don’t want you to forget.”

“Sometimes I just don’t know how you can mean it—”

Cutting her off with an unexpected, spine tingling smooch, he settled his arms around her waist, joining his hands above the small of her back. “You’ll just have to take my word for it.”

She flushed and struggled to fish out enough words for a suitable reply. “From a silver-tongued snake like you? That’s asking a lot.”

He chuckled, amused by her embarrassed, overly defensive response. “Don’t worry, I promise I won’t ask for much more than that.”

#self insert #selfinsert #self ship #selfship #oc x canon #self insert fic #self insert fanfiction #selfship fic #selfship fanfiction #self insert commissions #selfship commissions #my writing #claire writes #one shot #robotarmjokes #commission

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jadeender · 5 years

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Back to the Ranch part 4

The final part of Back to the Ranch!

Time carried Twilight into the bedroom and carefully laid the younger back onto the bed, wiping a little blood from Twilights mouth.

“What happened?” Malon asked her voice thick with worry. “He was fine just a few minutes ago.”

“Something had to have happened with his dark... Savage.” Time memory, or possibly Eternal’s supplied after a moment. “That’s the only thing that could have caused this, probably fighting for control.”

Time smoothed down the hair on Twilight’s head noticing the way his skin had begun to heat up. Turning slightly to look back at his wife he said, “As soon as he wakes up we need to leave. The longer we stay like this the worse it will get. We have to go find that witch.”

“Couldn’t another magic user fix it? If it was dark magic maybe Zelda’s light magic could cure it?” Malon posulated. Time shook his head.

“I doubt it. This was dark magic of the highest degree, I'm not sure how light magic would affect us now. With the darks in out bodies, we may not be able to handle it.” Time said.

“But it’s worth a try. Please just go talk to Zelda, see what she can do.” Malon pleaded. Time looked her in the eyes for a minute before relenting.

“Ok, I’ll make a quick trip to Castletown and I’ll be back before nightfall.” Time said standing from the younger’s bed. Sky who had been sleeping in the room but was now wide awake moved over to sit by Twilight.

“I’ll stay with him in case anything happens.” Sky affirmed with a nod. Time returned the nod and went to go put on his armor to leave. He still had a reputation to uphold here as a warrior.

Legend and Wild met him in the hall after he had dressed. “We’re coming too.”

“You don’t need to. Nothing is going to happen to me, I’ll be fine.” Time insisted.

“We’re coming.” Wild said his expression showing his resolution. Realizing they weren’t going to budge on the issue Time just sighed.

“Alright, grab your weapons and let go.” After grabbing their weapons the three of them set off from the ranch towards castle town. A short hour walk later and they arrived at the gates. Legend and Wild followed Time into the city noting how any soldiers they saw stopped and saluted at their friend.

As they walked on they would occasionally hear people call to Time, hellos, sale offers, one person even yelling “i love you hero!”.

The city was small, smaller than some of the places they’d seen on their adventures but it held a semblance of royalty with the shape of the castle in the background. As they approached the outer gates of the castle the soldiers saluted before quickly moving to open the gates allowing them in.

A small laugh came from Time. “I still remember the days when I had to sneak in to see Zelda.”

Legend laughed slightly. “And here I thought Malon was the only woman in your life.”

Time shot him a ‘not what i meant’ look as they claimed the small hill to in front of the castle. Once again the gates were opened and they were admitted at last to the castle. They walked through gilded halls of white marble as they headed for the throne room where Zelda was likely to be holding court.

Wild muttered something as they walked. “I’ve seen nicer.” He was looking nicer today than he usually did, his hair was pinned up into a neat bun and his clothes looked freshly cleaned. Nobles mirror was stashed in his boot, the tip of it peaking out.

Legend didn’t look much different from usual if only slightly more rugged than usual, the bags under his eyes were less pronounced than they had been but were still visible.Their mirror was fastened to his belt.

Time sparred a look back at his companions as they entered the throne room. “Don’t embarrass me in front of Queen Zelda.” The door were thrown open and they followed him into the throne room were Zelda sat upon her throne.

“Link. It’s nice to see you.” She said seeing them approach. As they neared the throne Time stopped and feel to one knee placing his arm over his chest in revernace. Legend and Wild followed his example. “Please stand.” Zelda instructed them standing herself.

Time stood first. “We would like to talk to you, in private.”

“Of course. We can go to my study.” Zelda gestured to the side before walking forward her arms clasped together in front of her. This Zelda, much like her Link was older than either Legend or Wild had ever met. She was a proper queen. Her pink dress adorned with simple yet elegant features, and her face showing few marks of the passing of time. Long golden hair fell to her lower back.

She lead them on a short walk through the castle till they arrived at her stody and went inside, Zelda dismissing the guards outside the door. “I’ll be safe with the hero of time. You may go.”

They entered to a simple study, a heavy mahogany desk with a comfortable chair behind it and a low couch area with a few surrounding chairs. Zelda took a seat behind the desk, facing the heroes before her.

“I will admit, I am rather glad to see you alive and well. But I sense all is not right here.” Zelda began. “And who are your new friends?”

“I’m called Legend.”

“And I’m N… Wild.” Wild quickly corrected.

“We’re both Links from different worlds.” Legend continued. “We’ve been traveling together for a while.”

“Interesting. So there are worlds beyond our own. But I don't imagine you came all the way here to just tell me that. Why have you come?” Zelda said her face set in a semi-interested expression yet still guarded from showing any true emotion.

Time took a deep breath in and started to explain the situation once again, about the darks appearance, how Veran had fused them together and what had been happening. “We believe your light magic may be able to seperate us, or possibly destroy the dark.”

Destroy the darks? Legend and Wild shared a look, neither of them particularly hated their darks like Time did. But destroying them? Would he really?

“I don’t know Link. Do you remember what incantation she used? If I don't get this exactly right it could kill you instead. I don’t know where you end and the dark begins.” Zelda said.

“It sounded like a riddle, or possibly a poem.” Wild filled in. “Something about two becoming one, and a burden. It didn’t seem very exact.”

Zelda thought for a minute. “It sounds like she made up the spell on the spot. That makes it even more dangerous. Look Link, there's nothing I can do. Your best chance is to get her to undo the magic. That has the most minimal risk to you.”

Sitting back Zelda continued, “my magic is much more suited to combat anyway. I would provide you with help if only I could.”

Time stood up and gave her a little bow. “I understand. I knew this was a long shot but I had to make certain. We should go, I told Malon I’d be back at the ranch before night.”

Zelda stood as well. “Of course, if you or your new companions require any supplies please take whatever you need. It's the least I can do.” She calsped Time on the arm as he made to leave. “It was good to see you again. Once your task is accomplished we will be happy to have you back in Hyrule.”

“Of course. It was nice to see you again as well.” Zelda released him and Legend and Wild followed Time out of the room and back through the castle.

“I get the feeling Zelda wasn’t always just a friend old man.” Legend joked, as Acidic jested something a bit more… inappropriate in his head.

“There was a time when I really thought I was in love with her. I’d known Malon for years but I still convinced myself Zelda was the only girl for me.” Time said as they started back through Castletown, Wild staying quiet as he had been for most of the day. “It took a long time for me to realize Zelda and I would never suit, Malon was always there for me. She saw beyond the hero to see the person, she always has.”

“You’re lucky to have her.” Wild spoke up, his fast cast in that far away look he always got when he considered love. The same look Legend got whenever he thought about Marin. Perhaps Wild had someone like that in his life too, or did have rather.

They completed the walk back in silence, without encountering any monsters or anything. They returned to the ranch just before sundown and Time went immediately to check on Twilight after removing his armor.

Twilight was sitting up in bed when Time arrived a blank look on his face. In the back of Time’s mind he heard Eternal scoff at the youngers state, calling him weak.

“Twilight?” Time asked sitting down on his knees next to the bed. Twi looked at Time his eyes dull.

“Yeah.” He got out slowly.

Time exhaled feeling a little relief, at least it was Twilight that had won whatever fight they had. Time turned to Sky who was sitting nearby. “How long has he been awake?”

“Not very long. About the time the sun started to go down. He’s only really given basic response but he just seems exhausted more than anything.” Sky reported, anxiously rubbing one hand over the hilt of his sword.

“You should try to get some sleep.” Time instructed before leaving the room to find Malon. He found her in the kitchen preparing dinner with Wild’s help, Time pulled Malon away from the kitchen to talk, barely noticing that Wild’s hair had been braided into a perfect weave.

“The boys and I need to leave tomorrow morning. As early as we can.” Time said.

“Why the urgency? Twilight needs to time to recover.” Malon insisted but Time only shook his head.

“Zelda couldn’t do anything so we have to go find Veran and get her to fix this.” Time looked her in the eyes. “I’m afraid of what will happen if we don't get separated soon. What happens when we lose one of us to the darkness? We may never get him back.”

Time averted his eyes as he spoke but Malon forced him to look at her. “You’re all heroes, you’re stronger than you know. But I understand why you need to go. But let's enjoy this night together with the boys and not worry about the darks or Veran or any of it.”

Time nodded and let his wife lead them back to the others vowing to put those thoughts away for now and try and live in the moment as impossible as that seemed.

#linkeduniverse #merged #much longer than usual #time is a slightly angsty boy

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blog-researchblog · 4 years

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Law Enforcement

7 Powerful Questions

When you think of your dream job you think of a career field that you know you’ll be passionate about. I am passionate about a lot of things in life but above all I am passionate about making a change..I bounced from multiple different majors throughout my college career and I finally decided that I wanted to invest my time and energy into criminal justice. I have always been obsessed with crime shows and documentaries; ranging from homicide cases to federal offenses like robbery and drug trafficking. My choice to go into law was an obvious choice for me after a good amount of time of learning who I was as a person. I’m not quite sure what I want to do with my Criminal Justice degree but I am leaning more towards law enforcement because I feel like it would be a good fit for me. Becoming a police officer isn’t for everyone, it can be very tiring and stressful. You’re put into situations that most people do not find themselves in very often. I have achieved great accomplishments throughout my life but in order for me to be really dedicated to whatever goal I was reaching, I needed to be passionate about it. I have a lot of goals that I set for myself to achieve. My biggest goal in life is to be happy. I want to be passionate about whatever I do in life and be happy with myself, nothing else in the world matters if you’re unhappy. Your career choice can be very detrimental to your overall happiness in life. Picking the right career for me was a very big decision and I know criminal justice is it for me.

Passion stems from a deep desire for whatever you happen to be passionate about. I’m most passionate about making a change. Being a police officer gives you the chance to make a change in someone’s life or in your community. I love giving back and helping people when they need it. Making a change is changing the world for the better. It's improving someone's everyday life, for the better. One of my greatest accomplishments in my life so far is following through with my goals and achieving them. When I feel like I have helped someone or have improved their well being I take that as an accomplishment. My goal in life is to be passionate about whatever I do. I don’t care for the money, I just want to genuinely enjoy my job. I would like to work in multiple different branches in my career field and learn the ins and outs of law enforcement. I admire people who take their skill and craft seriously. Everyone is gifted and passionate about certain things. The people who capitalize on their gift excel and achieve their goals. It’s not easy to achieve any goal you set, I believe hard work and dedication is the only way to success.

I am someone who gets bored of things very easily, I love change. Things that get you up and moving occupy my attention. I like to stay active and on my feet. Not knowing what’s going to happen next keeps things exciting and brings me back for more. I would hate to be working at a desk job doing the same tasks over and over again everyday. Law enforcement offers multiple different choices in the field that require a lot of versatility. One day you could be on patrol pulling over cars for speeding and the next day you could be working on homicide cases.

Hard work and dedication is the only thing you need to get far anywhere in life. I am a hard worker and I do take pride in that, anything I am passionate about I will give my all to. I am willing to work as hard as I possibly can for something I want. I believe that nothing is handed to anyone, you should work for the things that you want in life. I have also been passionate about achieving things on my own and being independent. I know where I need to be in life to achieve what I want and nothing will stop me from getting what I want. Knowing that I achieved something on my own with no help motivates me to do even more for myself.

Occupational Outlook

The job of a police officer is way beyond arrests, ticketing, and investigating. Policing is a hard profession, it’s mentally and physically draining. The stress police officers endure is like no other compared to any other profession. When I was little I always knew whatever I wanted to do or be when I was older it had to be a job that was in uniform. A job that took a lot of bravery and courage was always appealing to me. Being a part of something that is bigger than just myself and was honorable looked like the best fit. Being a police officer is much more than responding to calls or stopping cars. Being in law enforcement is a serious commitment. This job isn’t easy and you never know what you’ll encounter. Each shift is different, from helping cats out of trees to responding to homicide cases, the possibilities of what you will be exposed to as an officer is endless. I want to work in law enforcement, whether it’s locally, state, or federal. Average pay for a police officer is around 60k a year. Most people go into this career field for the passion of the job, not the pay. It’s a very demanding and stressful job so most police officers retire after being in the force for about 20 years. Employment for police officers is expected to grow 5% in the years to come. There is competition when fighting for a job in policing. One out of a hundred applicants applying for a position are projected to be hired. The process of being chosen to serve and protect their community is long and extensive. There are a series of tests that the applicant must go through to be considered. They must take a written exam that is continued with a physical ability, and background test. These tests would be continued with psych tests that measure how well or if you can carry out the job of a police officer. Applicants who have a degree,military experience, and speak multiple different languages have the best chance of getting chosen for the job. It’s a tough career to be selected for. Not just anyone can be a police officer. The process of being elected for the job is so extensive because not just anyone is given the authority over the general public.

The Truth Behind Policing

To get a better understanding of the police force I interviewed a local police officer who works for the Evesham Township police department of Burlington county in South Jersey. The officer asked to remain anonymous. I began the interview by asking the officer simple questions like what made you decide to become a police officer, do you enjoy your work? He stated that he loves his job as an officer but the job comes with a price to pay. He chose law enforcement mainly for the benefits and because the job itself was a good fit for his personality and work ethic. He has been in law enforcement for a little over 20 years and has endured a lot of stress throughout his time of service.. He explained that you’re going to be placed in situations that are hard to deal with mentally and emotionally. The job itself is rewarding but outside factors can greatly affect you due to this line of work. He continued to explain that some days you're going to be the hero and others you’re going to be the villain. Nowadays police officers are not portrayed in the best light which can affect how others see and treat you. There’s a lot of people who do not support police officers and are against them due to social media and personal experiences with officers who did not carry out their job in the right manner. He brought to my intention that one bad officer sets the tone for the police force as a whole. There are bad workers in every industry, for example, one bad doctor does not label the entire medical field as a whole. He highlighted the most favorable and least favorable aspects about the job. Starting with the most favorable aspects of the job is that he made lifelong friendships throughout his unit. Police force itself is a family, everyone is looking out for each other and at the end of the day all that matters is that every officer went home safe that night. Another pro he listed was that he really does enjoy helping people when they are in need. He joined the police force with the intentions to make the community a safer and better place as a whole. His least favorable aspects about the job is the stress that is added to your health. Law enforcement is not an easy job to mentally endure. You will find yourself in positions that seem unethical or unfair to others, but you have to do what’s best for the community and yourself and enforce the rules.

Policing and Social Media

One of the hardest parts of being a police officer is how the public is going to portray you every time you put that uniform on. Nowadays police officers do not have a good reputation with the public due to the news and social media. Every time an officer acts in a certain way that is deemed unacceptable, his actions are plastered in the news or published in articles online for the whole world to see and read. Police brutality has always been a major issue in policing. The use of force is often misused within law enforcement, and that is not an issue that is lightly taken. In a current article posted by ABC news, an undercover cop was seen using excessive force when attempting to arrest a man over marijuana charges. This interaction was recorded by a passing citizen and posted the entire video on the social media platform twitter for millions of people to watch. Incidents like this give the thousands of police officers a bad rep which results in citizens revolting against police officers. There was no need to use such force against a man for the use of a drug that is legalized in half of the states in America. Incidents like this happen everyday when an officer uses his authority in the wrong manner. Incidents like that make the public not trust the police which is quite the opposite of what police officers want.

By: Skyler Italian

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