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boldlyanxious · 3 years

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In the Dark

Masterlist

Marinette saw Damian headed down the hallway and she quickly turned down the back hallway and slipped into a costume closet. She had already had a long rough day with one of the supporting actresses causing a series of problems that somehow were all Marinette's fault. She did not need to deal with Damian as she was headed out the door. He was arrogant and always found something to complain about and it was usually about her. They had gotten off on the wrong foot and now the only thing she had ever seen him happy about was her being unhappy.

She only planned to be here for a moment but she heard him curse as his footsteps moved past the hallway and then move quickly down into the hall and the closet door opened. She pushed back into the corner hoping whatever he needed was in the front and he wouldn’t see her. She couldn’t imagine what he would need to get from there anyway. He had made it very clear that as the star of the show everyone should be meeting his needs and he had no need to know where to find his costumes or props.

Instead of getting something out of the closet he opened the door and stepped in, closing the door behind him. She had no time to shift away or any way to hide that she was in there. She held her breath and backed into the corner. She couldn’t fathom why he had followed her into here anyway. He shifted the costumes and pushed himself right into the corner until he was against her. There was nowhere for her to escape to, she let out a startled squeak as he pressed himself into her.

---

Damian could not stand Cecile. She was vapid and loud. She never had an end to her questions or ideas. She had gotten a good supporting part in the movie, but she was not a lead role for which she constantly complained. He did his best to avoid her off set but she had a habit of showing up everywhere. Honestly the entire movie was a waste and he wished he could get out of his contract. The other lead was fine. They had little interaction outside of the set and she did well with the part. Everyone else on the cast and crew were extremely tiresome with the exception of one costume designer. She was an apprentice and this was her first project on her own but it was overseen by her mentor. She was efficient and had a great eye. She had a hesitancy and stammering manner but she didn’t fawn over him like many of the others did.

Cecilie had been even more insufferable today than usual after catching Damian not listening to her because he got distracted watching the costume designer, Marinette. When Damian heard Cecile loudly talking about how she was looking for him so they could leave together and check out the new tapas place he panicked slightly. He did not want to deal with her anymore so he rushed down the back hallway and through the first door he saw. He pulled the door closed behind himself. He was moving too quickly for the small space. He thought it was an office or workspace but it turned out to be a small closet. A very small closet and it was pretty full of costumes. He tried to halt his movements and remain silent. He ended up right in the corner, or would have if someone was not already occupying it.

The other person made a startled eeep sound and he covered her mouth before they could be discovered. They were silent and listening as Cecile wandered around shouting for Damian. He was so focused on listening for her that he didn’t realize for several moments that his hand was still covering the mouth of the other person. There was no light in the closet so he wasn’t sure who was in here with him, or why. Hopefully they could be persuaded to refrain from mentioning this incident if he offered the right incentive.

---

Marinette was certain the loud sound of her beating heart would give them away. She would probably have been breathing heavier but Damian’s had covered her mouth and his other arm had moved to the back of her head holding her head still. She didn’t dare try to get him to stop. She quickly figured out why he had jumped in here and it had nothing to do with her. She could hear one of the other actresses screeching around looking for him. She couldn’t blame his escape, especially since she had just done the same. Maybe she could convince him that she was also hiding from the odious woman. She was pretty nasty to Marinette and honestly she might have made the same choice if she thought the woman was looking for her.

She could feel every one of his muscles tensed against her as Cecile continued screeching out Damian's name. She would never give him the satisfaction of saying how that made her feel. He had already wanted his distaste at her mentioning anything about how the costume would look on him or display his muscles. She had just been making conversation while getting measurements but he had mistaken her inquiries about the costume's fit and material preferences as trying to make a pass at him. He told her to just do her job and leave her personal opinions out of it so she had just made the best choices she could without his input then or in the future. If he wanted to be a diva she would wait for the complaints.

Marinette shifted in his hold. She was right against his chest but she was still holding herself back into the corner with her arms at her sides. It had been quiet for several minutes when Damian released the pressure from her mouth pulling his hand away. His other hand seemed to release the back of her head slowly, almost threading through her stray hairs. She stayed rigid in the corner and she still remained silent. She didn’t know the protocol for greeting a person you randomly hid in a closet with, maybe she could find a book or a humorous blog post about it. He seemed uninterested in coming up with small talk and simply turned away from her and turned the door handle. Then he twisted it again with the same result. Several more times before he seemed to accept that there was a problem.

---

“It's locked,” he said.

“No, are you sure?”

“If you can manage to open it, be my guest.”

Damian felt the woman shift and he turned so she could reach the door. Same result. It wouldn’t twist. That didn’t stop her from trying several more times and then making an irritated sound before rattling the door against the jamb.

“I’ve left my phone in the dressing room. Use yours to call someone to let us out.”

“My phone is in my office. But great news. I have the keys. Unfortunately the lock is on the other side of the door.”

“That is useless.” he sounded angry. “Why were you in here anyway?”

“This is a costume closet. I have every right to be here.” she said. “You are the one who followed me in and locked the door.”

This gave him the information to place her voice which helped make sense of her having an office instead of a dressing room. He didn't think she would accept any bribery from him to keep quiet but fortunately it was because he didn't think Marinette was the type to talk about any of the cast or crew. He had heard her be asked questions by reporters before and she always expertly sidestepped the questions to focus on aspects to promote the movie or her own work on the costumes.

He wasn't sure how to bring anything up with her. He had his first meeting with her directly after the initial meeting with the cast that has reporters. He had gotten along great with the other lead Amy and her husband at the meeting but that is when he first met Cecilie. He had been very grateful to get away from her for a quiet fitting but on her first day Marinette was distracted and fumbling. He had later found out she hadn't been told to be there at all and had rushed in to get measurements. He had been her first fitting and he was already in a foul mood. Her innocent questioning felt too personal so he scolded her harshly.

---

She released the handle and turned away from the door, bumping into him in the process. He stepped back from her but he was against the wall so he reached out and nudged her away. Marinette stumbled when he pushed her and hit the wall on the other side. She pushed against it to keep herself up. She tried to smooth out the costumes so they would not be damaged in the small space. She felt around trying to think through everything that was located in this closet. She was hoping something would prove useful for their current predicament. She didn’t even realize she was talking quietly to herself until he asked about it.

“What are you muttering about?” he asked.

“I’m trying to inventory the costumes to see if there is anything here that can help us get out of here,” she said.

“I thought you were very professional until I found you hiding in a closet and now muttering to yourself.”

Marinette turned quickly to confront him. How dare he suggest she was the one being unprofessional when he had tried the same thing. She turned on him quickly. Too quickly. She slipped on a piece of fabric when she spun back towards him and stumbled. Her arms flailed out and grabbed for anything to keep her from tumbling. She cringed as she felt herself grasp at the costumes but she couldn’t seem to stop it. She made a series of noises to go along with the sounds of the hangers being yanked to the side.

But then she felt his arms go around her and pull her back to her feet. She latched onto him in an attempt to stay upright but he had lunged too far. She was only on her feet for a split second before he crashed into her and they both fell down into a heap. He was fully on top of her and she twisted to try to get free of his weight. Like a game of Twister she realized her back was on top of one of his arms and her legs were tangled in his.

His chest lifted as he shifted against her. She tried to move again but she could not get her arms under her with his weight on top of her. She froze as his hand moved against her and down the outer part of her skirted side and leg. She pulled away from his hand causing both of them to collapse back down again. His arms pulled her against him tightly as he started twisting. She struggled against him until he told her to stop. She froze again and he flipped them over until he was sitting with his back against the wall with her straddling his lap.

---

Damian was regretting not just letting her fall. He could hear her flailing and reached out without thinking but now they were on the ground tangled together. She seemed to be panicking so he took charge. He felt around a bit to find out how they were tangled before making his move. She was not cooperating with any of his attempts to get them apart. She was doing the exact opposite of what they needed to do to get back to their feet.

“You are making everything worse. Just hold still,” he growled.

Finally she stopped and he was able to lift her to him and turn them both over. Now she was on top of him but they were in a better position to get untangled. His hands were resting at her hips as she moved forward, leaning against his chest. Everything in him told him to wrap his arms around her and keep her close to him but she pushed off and got back to her feet. He was shocked that he missed the feel of her against him. He chose to ignore that and pushed himself to his feet.

She was already back to going through the costumes to find a way out of here. He considered what would have happened if he became locked in a closet with almost any other woman who had been around today. He didn’t think that any of them would be trying very hard to get out. They would probably be trying to find a way to get closer to him.

---

Marinette tried to contain her breathing so Damian would not notice how affected she was. She had to get out of this closet. It was not doing her any good being this close to him. She was shaking remembering the feeling of his body on top of hers and then shifting until she was on his lap, against his chest. She had known he was attractive. That was clearly printed in every magazine that had ever had a photo set of him. But being pressed against his muscles was very different from taking his measurements and checking the fit of his costumes. She just had to remind herself that he hated her.

She had gone through all the costumes on the first row and she hadn’t come up with any brilliant ideas. A couple of the costumes had pins in them that might be used to push into the back of the lock to force the mechanism open but she didn’t think any of them were stored here. She wondered if the hangers could force the handle open. They were pretty sturdy. She moved back to check the costumes to decide which ones would be least harmed by not being on a hanger for a bit. She found 3 that should work and so she went through the process of removing them.

---

“You’ve had an idea,” Damian said.

He had taken a moment to calm himself after he stood back up but suddenly her movements felt feverish and hurried. He could tell she was working on some sort of plan even without being able to see her.

“I’m getting hangers. I think they could be used as a lever to force the handle open.”

“That sounds possible. How can I help?”

“I think it will have to be you doing all of the work. I’m not tall enough to put the pressure in the right spot.”

Damian reached out for her to get the hanger. Her hand pulled back suddenly when their fingers touched. He wasn’t sure how to react to that. He wasn’t one to be overly touchy and definitely not pushy about the feelings he thought might be developing but it was unexpected. Before he had time to consider further she had pushed it back and it poked into his chest and he was able to get it from her.

He reached out for the door handle and settled the hanger over it to apply the pressure. It was very tight and he could feel the handle turning but when he added a bit more pressure the handle snapped. He cursed while Marinette checked to see if it had opened. She made a disappointed noise and handed him the next hanger. Possibly he was a bit too frustrated because it snapped almost immediately. The broken wood jammed into his forearm. Marinette tried to pull his arm into the thin strip of light coming under the door.

“I don’t think it broke the skin but it will probably have scratches or bruising.”

He made a noncommittal noise and tried not to focus on her fingers gliding along his skin. It didn’t even hurt that bad any more. It had just been a sudden pain. But he found he liked being the target of her concern. He reached out to stop her fingers on his arm. She sucked in a breath at the unexpected contact and pulled back. He could practically feel her shake herself out of a daze. They were too close to hide much of anything in here. He just wasn’t sure if she was reacting to his touch in a good way or just trying to get away from him.

He instead focused on getting them out of there.

---

Marinette jumped when Damian grabbed her hand from his injured arm. She had completely lost all thought about what she was doing. He had never given her any sign that he wanted her to continue touching him beyond the initial check of his injury. Luckily he could not see her face heat up in the dark. She pulled away quickly so he wouldn’t notice how much she just wanted to hold onto his hand. His focus had returned to the door handle so that is where she would focus too. She was too quiet for him to hear her stammering apologies but just handed off the final hanger she had gotten. She could tell the difference with this attempt immediately. The handle was making a noise as it turned and Damian was adjusting it as it moved so the hanger wouldn’t snap.

Then just like that, the handle fell to the ground with a clatter. Marinette couldn’t contain her excitement. She laughed with joy and grabbed Damian and pulled him into a tight hug. She hardly even noticed that he was hugging her back because she was bouncing around. She didn’t notice until the hug didn’t end when she expected. She tended to be a hugger so she was accustomed to pulling back when the other person pulled back but after the excited feeling was washing away she started to step back only to realize that he was still holding on. His head tilted into the crook of her neck before with one final squeeze he slid away slowly. Marinette had to hold onto the wall for a moment when he released because her knees were suddenly too weak to hold her up.

---

Damian held her in his arms and wished the feeling could never end. He didn’t often hug people. He rarely enjoyed it when he did, aside from a few close family members and friends. But holding Marinette in his arms just felt right. She fit against him. He could feel her pulling back but they were about to be out of the space and he may never be close to her like this again. He tightened his hold for just a second before releasing her slowly. He hoped she couldn’t feel how hard his heart was beating just now or that she would not tell everyone how he gave awkward long hugs. He squared his shoulders and pushed against the door.

The door didn’t just push open so he looked at the mechanism stuck in the handle hole. He pushed on the tab and it did nothing. The locked handle was still stuck on the outside and it wouldn’t budge. It was fastened on with screws. Marinette had picked up the handle and tried to get it to connect to the piece but it wasn’t working. Damian didn’t think that would help anyway but she was clearly in distress.

“Is there a screw to use to push in the pin hole?” Damian asked.

“No. There are no screws on this side. It was connected with threads to connect to the other piece of the handle.”

“Where is the hanger? I can use the piece that holds it to apply pressure.”

Marinette handed him one of the hangers.

“I don’t think that will work. The hanger doesn’t have the piece like that. They connect directly onto the rack so the costumes are less likely to fall and be damaged, especially during shipping or when people get locked into the closet and stuck for all eternity.”

Damian started to laugh at her joke but then he realized she wasn’t actually joking. She was breathing heavily and was backed against the wall.

---

Marinette didn’t know what else to do. They had tried everything and they couldn’t get out. No one else would be there for hours. She held onto the wall and while her head was spinning. At least Damian couldn’t see her acting so foolishly. She bit her lip to control her breathing and hot tears ran down her cheeks. She could hear Damian moving but even with another beam of light shining in she still couldn’t see what he was doing. Maybe it was good that he hadn’t given up yet. It wouldn’t be great to have them both breaking down at the same time.

But Damian had not stopped at the door. He was right there in front of her. He rested a hand on her shoulder and she just knew that he could feel the wet spot where her tears had dripped down. She felt the fingers on his other hand on her cheek, gently wiping away her tears. She couldn’t hold in a sob at his tenderness. She covered her face with her hands but he didn’t let that stop him. He pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

---

Damian was not the first person anyone would go to when they were in distress but in this case he was the only one available. He made gentle hushing noises and smoothed her hair back from her face. He breathing had calmed but she was crying into her hands. She was struggling to get some distance so he could hear what she was saying. He caught just the last bit through her muffled tears.

“I’m crying all over your shirt,” she said.

“Don’t worry about my clothes. They will be fine,” he said. “Are you okay?”

“I think I’m just not a huge fan of small spaces.”

He brushed the last of her tears from her cheeks. Her breathing was calmer now and he wasn’t sure what suddenly came over him. His hand was on her jaw and he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. He could feel her gasp against his lips but he realized she had stayed rigid and not melted against him. She wasn't kissing him. He had kissed her while she was against a wall trapped with him in a small closet. He stumbled back from her.

---

Marinette was so distraught about being such a mess in front of him it took her a moment to process what had happened. He had just kissed her. He seemed just as shocked as her when he pulled away. She didn’t think he had planned it. She didn’t even think he could stand her. She could still feel him standing right in front of her. Not that he had many options for where to go. His hands dropped from her and they just stood there, inches apart for a moment.

He turned back to the door and tried to mess with the lock again. She could see his face in the light coming from the hole in the door. Two separate strands of light hit his face. She could see the tenseness in his cheekbone that she imagined moved down to his jaw. The other was shining directly on his lips. She touched her own remembering the feel of his on hers.

She could feel his bicep tense as she reached out and touched him. She had to force herself to breathe. He didn't pull away but he reserved any reaction waiting to see what she would do. She knelt down next to him and slid her hand up to his shoulder. If possible he tensed even more. She reached up with her other hand and tentatively touched his jaw. She could feel the bit of rugged stubble required for the scene today. It was much softer than she had imagined.

---

Damian didn't think he quite stopped the groan that came out as her fingers brushed along his jaw. He generally preferred clean shaven but as her fingers continued to move through his stubble he was gaining an appreciation for it. He moved slowly as her second hand moved up to his jaw. She seemed over the shock of being kissed against the wall while crying but he wanted to wait for her to make a move. It was torturously slow. She was being cautious too. But he felt her body shift and then her thumb brushed along his bottom lip.

Her lips met his as she leaned forward. Her hesitancy vanished when he responded. His hand moved back to her hair where it had been when he first entered the closet and covered her mouth. She pushed herself against him from her knees but he craved her closer. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his lap. She planned a knee on either side of his hip and wrapped her arms around his neck. He kept one arm around her waist and one threading through her hair as it cascaded out of the bun.

Damian wasn't sure how much time had passed. They had pulled away for air several times and shifted positions as well. Marinette's hair was fully down from her previous hair do and her clothing looked delightfully wrinkled when the door opened and light poured in. He watched her squint at the sudden brightness. He must look something like her. Her chest was heaving and her lips red and puffy. He was tempted to shut the door again and stay hidden with her longer.

---

Marinette was dazed when the door suddenly opened and poured light over them. Her eyes were shocked at the amount of light too quickly. She knew the person who opened the door could clearly tell what they had been doing. She looked away from the man's smirk and down at the floor. She glanced back up at Damian. His hair was sticking out in all directions and his shirt was untucked. He stood and reached to pull her to her feet. She noticed a couple buttons undone at the top of his shirt. She suddenly wondered about the buttons on her own blouse and turned away to fix them.

"Jon, it's great to see you. How did you know to look for us?"

"Your brother called and said you missed dinner and wouldn't answer your phone. I sent a video of a baby elephant being cute and you didn't react so I knew something had to be wrong," Jon said.

"We have been locked in here for hours. No phone or tools and the handle was broken."

"Sounds," Jon cleared his throat, "rough."

Marinette wasn't making eye contact. She had readjusted her clothes and pulled her hair into a low ponytail. She couldn't avoid the awkwardness anymore. She stepped into the hallway and both men looked at her. She opened her mouth but realized she had nothing to say. She turned on her heels quickly and started to rush away. Her cheeks were burning and she thought she might start crying again.

What had she been thinking? There were all sorts of rumors about what kind of man Damian might be. It was widely thought that he remained single so he could hook up with women from all over and pay them for their silence. There had been all a lot of suggestions about who he might secretly be involved with but there had never been a confirmed relationship. She just knew things at work would end up very awkward if anyone found out. Both her and Damian were professional so perhaps they could manage to hide the awkwardness until the end of the project and then never see each other again.

"Marinette?" Damian's voice was quiet and he stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Would you like to go to dinner tonight? I need to freshen up a bit but I imagine you are as hungry as I am."

He sounded so uncertain. She wondered what he was thinking. Everything felt perfect when they were alone but in the sudden light and openness they were uncertain again.

"I'd like that," she said.

They both took a few minutes making themselves presentable and gathering their things. Marinette was happy she wouldn't have to catch the late night subway. Damian introduced his friend Jon and said he would keep everything about the incident to himself. She was grateful for that and for him waiting on the introduction until she had fixed her appearance. His hand hovered at her back at they walked out. Jon excused himself and left them alone as they got in the car.

Marinette buckled her seatbelt in silence. When she looked over Damian hadn't started the car. He was watching her. When she looked at him he leaned towards her. She met his lips as they gently brushed against each hers. Her heart was suddenly pounding again.

"I was aching to do that again," he said.

He turned back and started the car to take her on their first date.

Taglist

#maribat #daminette #actor au #trapped #boldlyanxious

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

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Danger Days - Chapter thirteen: "Screaming infidelities"

Word count: 15,4K

Summary: It's Gubler's birthday and like the title says, someone will fuck it up.

Warnings: Cheating, cursing, angst, hurt, pain, alcohol, mention of oral sex.

A/N: Kids, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this, but... it's done. Please don't hate me.

Masterlist

---

::: Paris, March 1st, 2011 :::

Joey stared at the ceiling of her room and sighed. She was alone. It was already midnight. She was happy she finally had a room on her own, after weeks traveling on a bus with the band. They were in Paris, and she was weary. But still, she couldn’t sleep. She stared at her phone and sighed. Matthew had said “I’ll call you back” an hour ago, and still, he hadn’t called her back. That was killing her.

She hadn’t seen her fiancé in over a month, and they were both in different time zones, which made it pretty hard to talk. She was nine hours ahead. At the moment, she was fighting to stay awake to talk to him, but he wasn’t calling her. Would it be wrong if she insisted? Matthew was working… maybe Joey should just sleep. She was weary after all, too much traveling, too many shows. That tour was fucking eternal, and she just wanted to go home.

The young woman walked to her bag, grabbed one of Matthew’s shirts, and put it on a pillow. Yes, she dressed a pillow in her boyfriend’s clothes. That’s how much she missed him. She could deal with loneliness ‘cos she was used to being alone. Still, somehow, she couldn’t deal with the loneliness that meant being far from Matthew.

- "It’s a good thing I decided to marry him then"- she said to herself as she stared at the ring on her finger.

A big part of her wanted to time travel and tell four-year-old Joey everything would be ok, that she was going to be happy after all. That she was going to manage to trust not one but two people. Her soon-to-be husband and her best friend, Mikey Way. If there was something she could cherish from being on tour with My Chem for months now, it was calling Michael James her brother.

Joey wrapped her arms around “Mattpillow” and smelled his perfume on it. Maybe it was better to text him and tell him she was gonna call earlier; it was… three in Los Angeles. If she set the alarm at six in the morning, she could catch him around nine. Yeah, that was much better.

- “Call you later. I’ll sleep a little, love you! Take care!”- she texted him.

::: Barcelona, March 5th, 2011 :::

Mikey, Ray, and Joey walked outside the arena, searching for the best sangria they could find before the show. Joey’s mom had sent them on that quest, repeating over and over again there was no way they left Spain without having tasted it. And considering it was alcohol, they didn’t argue a lot with Mrs. Sigmundsson.

- "Dude, I’m so fucking tired"- Mikey whined as he finished his hundredth cup of coffee of the day.

- "I know, I need a break from touring"- Joey said and yawned- "I wanna go home."

- "Me too"- Ray added and looked at his phone- "I miss my wife."

- "Oh, shut up!"- Mikey argued right away- "I don’t wanna go over this conversation again, you have someone you love, and you miss them. I don’t miss home, I have no one, end of the story"- Joey and Ray looked at each other and raised an eyebrow.

- "Is your underwear too tight today, or are you just being a little bitch because you want to?"- Joey asked right away, Ray chuckled, but Mikey didn’t think it was funny.

- "Shut up, Bug."

- "Not in the mood to be nice, then."

- "Nop"- that last “p” sounded like the end of it. But that wasn’t going to stop Joey.

- "Sorry, we are…"- what stopped Joey was her cellphone. Her eyes shone like diamonds when she saw Matthew’s face at the other side of the screen, waking up.

- "Yami! Good morning!"

- "Akumu!!!"- Ray and Mikey looked at her and walked a little faster to give her some privacy.

- "Is she still sleeping with the “Mattpillow”?"- Toro asked- "That shit is creepy"- and Way laughed, finally, he had been pretty serious that day. And the day before.

- "Yeah, that’s a thing. I’ve taken pictures I wanna use to blackmail her in case I ever need it."

- "Good plan"- Ray looked around. Joey was standing half a block behind, still on the phone- "Mikey, are you ok?"

- "Yeah, why?"

- "‘Cos you don’t seem to be ok at all,"- Toro felt it was his duty as a friend to tell what had been in his mind for the last couple of weeks- "Dude I’m sorry, I just… don’t think you… it’s shitty you are getting a divorce. I just don’t think you are taking it well."

- "Can you take a divorce well?"- Mikey simply replied, and that was enough to shut Ray up.

- "I’m just trying to tell you I’m here if you want to talk, and you don’t have to get so drunk every time we are out or whatever."

- "Is this an intervention? ‘Cos we had many those for Gerard back in the days. I can recognize an intervention."

- "No, Mikey! It’s not. Everybody should be here reading letters if it was"- Ray had a point- "I’m just trying to tell you, I’m here for you, man. And we can talk about anything."

- "I know, Ray… I just… don’t feel..."

- "You don’t feel like talking, I know, you haven’t talked about it, ever I guess… and I don’t feel that’s working for you. I’m scared and worried, and I’m your friend, I had to tell you."

Way and Toro stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. Mikey knew Ray was right; he had shut down from all his friends, basically for the last three months or so. Still, he didn’t feel ready to share any kind of thought or feeling with any of them.

- "Ok kids, around the block, there’s a place called “Las tapas de Pepe.” Apparently, they have a killer sangria"- Joey clapped and walked past them on her way to the bar.

- "Wait, how do you know that?"

- "Because, Raúl me enseñó muchas cosas nuevas, (Raul taught me a lot of new things)"- the two musicians looked at her frowning not getting a word, so the girl turned to them and smiled- "That guy over there, his name is Raúl. I asked for sangria, he gave me an address. Come on!"

Joey turned around again, avoiding looking sad in front of her friends. The truth was, she wasn’t doing that well about being far from Matthew. It was getting too hard. She was thinking about quitting. And every time she talked to him, she was feeling more sure about that decision. She never told him, though. She didn’t want to make him feel responsible in case she made a mistake leaving the job. She also didn’t want him to know how much influence he had on her, Joey didn’t want to lose power in his life, she didn’t want to stop being independent, but it was hard.

::: Germany, March 8th, 2011 :::

Mikey was sugar rushed, jumping around the bunks as the bus traveled from Zurich to Munich. He and Joey had bought most of the chocolates in Switzerland and ate half of them in less than two hours. They were in heaven. Sugar heaven.

- "Can you please stop it?"- Gerard yelled at them from his bunk.

- "Nope"- his younger brother answered and jumped like a kid on top of him.

- "Leave me alone! I wanna sleep!"

- "Fine. Come on, Bug, let’s get away from this loser"- his words were so childish Joey burst out laughing.

- "Get in, loser, we are going shopping"- Joey said and flipped her hair. Gerard stared at her walking away with his brother, and groaned as he covered his head with the pillow.

He was fucked.

The last month had been torture for him. Joey was now not even talking to him. Never. It felt she honestly hated him, and he knew he couldn’t ask. Lynz kept asking for her, and he was sure she suspected something was going on.

- "So, have you and the guys have fun these days?"- she had asked earlier that day when he called her before the show.

- "Fun like going out fun? No, we are too tired to move. These weeks have been killers."

- "So you are all just at the bus locked the whole time?"

- "Pretty much"

- "On each other’s faces?"

- "Yeah… I wanna kill Mikey."

- "And how’s Joey doing?"

- "Good… we haven’t talked much."

- "She hadn’t talked to you or you hadn’t?"- the singer made a pause thinking about that question, and most of all thinking what would be an intelligent answer to that.

- "We don’t share a lot"- that all he had- "I guess we don’t talk to each other"- he made a pause and lit a cigarette, walking on his own through the backstage- "Why do you ask?"

- "I don’t know, I guess you never talk about her, and I thought it might be because you have…"- Lynz made a pause to make her husband even more nervous- "A problem with her or something."

- "No, we don’t have a problem, we aren’t friends, that’s all…"

Now on the bus, Gerard closed his eyes, still hiding under the pillow, Joey’s laughter all around him, while Frank and Ray played video games. What was he going to do?

::: At the bus, close to Munich. March 9th, 2011 :::

It was Matthew’s birthday, and Joey was miserable ‘cos she couldn’t spend the day with him. But still, she set her alarm at eight am and locked herself in the back of the bus, texting him. She wanted to be the first one to sing happy birthday to him. And so she waited, looking at the clock.

She went through old pictures to kill time, watched part of a movie Mikey had left on the DVD the night before. Matthew didn’t reply to her text. And so she waited longer. Joey wanted to call him at midnight. She was nine hours ahead. Minute by minute, she waited. Until it was time. She smiled and dialed. Nothing. Again. Nothing.

- "Where the fuck are you?"- her stomach was made a knot as her brows furrowed. Third call. Matthew finally picked up the FaceTime call.

- "Yami!!!"- he yelled, wasted- "It’s a party!"- he pointed around and moved the camera of his phone like a maniac, making Joey dizzy right away. No wonder why he wasn’t picking up.

- "Happy birthday, Akumu!"

- "Hey! Hey!"- he tried to walk through a lot of people as Joey frowned, wondering where the hell her fiancée was.

- "Wild party!"- she said as soon as she noticed Gubler had locked himself in a bathroom to talk.

- "Yeah! The guys set a little surprise party for me"- he slurred and smiled- "I love you."

- "I love you too."

- "No, I love you more. Why aren’t you here?"

- "‘Cos I’m working, but I’ll be home in two weeks, so wait for me."

- "I want you here now."

- "I wish I was there."

- "Then quit"- Joey sighed. Arguing was useless; Matthew was drunk.

- "Hey! Akumu, is Paget there? Is she gonna drive you home?"

- "No, she’s not here."

- "You are not partying with your friends?"

- "Yeah, with the guys from the movie"- Joey raised an eyebrow, thinking she had no idea where Matthew was or with who.

- "Are you sure you are ok?"

- "Yeah, baby! It’s my birthday, we are gonna party like it’s my birthday!"- Joey’s heart ached at the thought of what could go wrong. But she loved and trusted her boyfriend, and she knew he would never hurt her.

- "Hey Matthew"- she said and looked straight into his eyes through the camera- "I love you."

- "I love you too."

- "I’ve got your heart here with me all the time"- she showed him her necklace, and he nodded- "There’s gonna be a present from me waiting for you when you get home."

- "Nice!"- Joey smiled, thinking it was probably Matthew wasn’t going to remember that conversation- "Listen, Yami, someone is trying to get into the bathroom."

- "That’s ok, I’ll call you later, ok dorky?"- he nodded and waved, the girl kissed the screen, but he had already hung down.

Joey hated being in Germany at the moment.

Could Gubler be an asshole and cheat? No way, Joey trusted him with her eyes wide shut. But he was hot and drunk, and she was sure there were more than just a couple of girls trying to get into his pants. If the guys were there- his friends- she wouldn’t even worry about it. But they weren’t. He was with some random people from the set she hadn’t even met.

Soon the regret of their last fight came to mind. They weren’t mad at each other, but perhaps… no, there’s no way he would be an asshole because of that stupid fight. It was a silly fight for her. Was it serious for him?

A few nights before, Matthew had gotten mad at a conversation with Joey ‘cos she didn’t want to change her last name. That’s what he picked from the conversation. She just said she didn’t think it was necessary to do so. He didn’t take it that well.

- "What’s the problem with changing your name?"

- "I’m just saying the tradition of women changing their last names after they marry it’s a bit old fashion. It makes me think women are still treated like an object that “belongs” to a man."

- "So you won’t change your last name?"- the girl frowned, staring at Matthew’s wide-opened eyes on the screen.

- "That’s not… do you want me to change it?"

- "Yes! of course, I do! you are gonna be my wife!"

- "So? If I’m still Joey Sveinbjörndottir after we marry, I won’t be your wife?"

- "That’s not what I meant"- Gubler was more frustrated than he had felt in months over any conversation they had ever had. This time, it was serious.

- "Then what is it?"

- "I’m just saying you should change your last name ‘cos we will be married, and I’d love for you to be Mrs. Gubler."

- "I will be your wife, isn’t that enough?"

- "Why do you always have to be so fucking independent?"- Matthew just yelled- "Can you just try to understand I want you to be mine? My wife! And I want everybody to know it!"

- "So you wanna put me on display?"

- "No!! Fuck no!!"- Matthew was tired and defeated. It seemed that stupid argument was more about a bunch of little things that had grown inside his head instead of just about the last name.

- "Why can’t I be independent? Is that a bad thing?"

- "No! It’s a good thing! I just... "- Matthew bit his tongue and sighed, trying to rearrange the thoughts in his head. He needed to make sure whatever he was going to say would explain his feelings clearly.

- "You just?"- Joey asked, standing in the middle of the hotel room she was staying at that night. She just stared at the wall, thinking she had no idea what had gotten into her boyfriend’s head.

- "I just don’t feel you need me sometimes."

- "What? Are you crazy?"

- "No, that’s what I feel. Are you gonna blame me for feeling?"

- "Well, you are being silly!"

Joey was real angry at him at the moment. Everything he had said hurt her. It seemed he had insulted all the kindness and love she had given him when it was very hard for her to show her feelings and let someone into her heart.

- "What is it that you want from me, Matthew? Do you want me to be needy and clingy? ‘Cos you know that’s not who I am!"

- "I know that! I just sometimes… it feels like you’d be great without me."

- "What?"

- "Like you don’t…"- but the girl didn’t let him continue.

- "Don’t say you feel I don’t love you!"

- "I know you love me."

- "Then?"

- "You don’t depend on me the way I depend on you"- the drummer was in shock at those words. Did he depend on her?- "You leave me here, you tour the world, you are happy, I’m here, I miss you. Every time we talk, you are shining… meanwhile, I am here, dying, waiting to be with you!"

- "First of all, you could come!"

- "I’m working too!"- but Joey cut him off and continued.

- "Second, who says I don’t miss you? Just because I’m not crying when we talk doesn’t mean I am not miserable! Matthew! What the fuck are you saying? I fucking love you with my whole life! I hate being here when I could be there with you at this very same minute doing anything together, even when that anything is staring at the wall! But I have to work, and I happen to love my job, the same way you love yours! You can’t blame me for not quitting!"

Joey bit her lips as she stared at Matthew at the other side of the screen. She was making her best not to cry. She had never been so mad at her fiancé before.

- "I just…"- he tried to continue, but his voice broke- "I feel like I’m going insane here without you"- tears fell from his eyes as Joey wiped off hers from her cheeks.

- "Matthew, I miss you too! Fuck! I’m going crazy, just like you! I want to be there. I wanna kiss you! I wanna make love to you! But… you can’t ask me to be someone I’m not! Can’t you just be happy your girlfriend loves you, misses you, and will marry you as soon as she finishes touring?"

Gubler sighed and stared at her.

- "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Matthew Gray Gubler. I don’t care about the last name. I don’t care about anything as long as you are beside me."

The young man sighed and cut her a short smile.

- "How do you always end up making me feel like a dork for getting mad at you?"

- "‘Cos I’m gonna be your wife, that’s my job"- she chuckled, and they stared in silence for a few seconds.

- "I love you so much, Joey."

- "I love you more, Matthew Gray."

That had been days before. Was Matthew still upset at her because of that? No way. He didn’t sound mad at all. He was just drunk and happy to celebrate his birthday.

- "You are overthinking this ‘cos you are far from him"- the girl reassured herself out loud and looked at the screen again- “Love you dorky”- she typed and sent her boyfriend a message. That was something he couldn’t forget.

The girl stayed still looking at the TV in front of her for a few seconds, but the knot in her stomach was too tight, and the thoughts in her head were too scary. She felt sick, scared, anxious.

Joey was jealous, shit!

She ended up puking in the bus’s tiny bathroom, just like every time she felt seriously distressed.

- "Hey, are you ok?"- Gerard found her on the bathroom floor, flushing, pale, and a little weak.

- "Yeah…"

- "Are you sick?"

- "No, I just… I’m ok."

- "Sure?"

- "Yeah, I just need an herbal tea. I felt dizzy all of a sudden"- she held the hand he offered her and stood up.

- "I’ll put on the kettle"- Joey stumbled a little as she walked with Gerard to the front of the bus.

- "Hey Bug"- she heard Mikey’s voice as he opened the curtain of his bunk. She slowly moved over and sat next to him- "Did you talk to Matthew?"

- "Yeah, he was wasted"- and Mikey chuckled.

- "That’s my boy."

- "I didn’t like it."

- "Come on, he is a good kid. He will probably drink his liver away and then go to bed, have a killer hangover, and talk to you until either of you falls asleep like he always does."

Mikey reassured her, and the girl chuckled, nodding. Her friend was right. She was still dizzy, though, so she carefully laid down next to him and felt his arms around her slowly.

- "Bug, you are freezing."

- "I’m ok. Gerard is making me an herbal tea… I should do it, actually; he ain’t my nanny"- the girl tried to stand up, but Mikey held her.

- "You should get into your bunk for another while. You might be getting the flu."

- "I’m ok, trust me"- she finally stood up and smiled at her friend.

- "Here, take my hoodie."

- "Thanks… it stinks."

- "But it’s warm, does the trick"- she smiled and put it on. Gerard had just left the cup of tea on the table. She walked over slowly and cut him a smile. An honest and nice smile.

- "Thank you, Gerard."

- "You can call me Gee, you know"- she nodded and sat down by the table.

Gerard sat in front of her, sipping his fresh cup of coffee. The two of them were quiet. Joey was thinking about Gubler. What was he doing at that very exact moment? Why wasn’t she there? How would it have been if they were together? They would probably be naked in his bed. And that would be great. It would be way much better than what she was doing at the moment, sitting on a bus staring at the window.

- "Are you sure you are alright?"- he whispered, and she nodded again- "Do you wanna go back to bed? I mean bunk."

- "No, I’m fine here… besides, we should be getting ready…"- she stayed quiet and looked outside- "Where are we?"

- "Munich"

- "Great… we had a hotel room here, right?"

- "Yeah"

- "Finally!!!"- she raised her arms, and he chuckled- "I need a real bed."

- "Me too."

- "And a long fucking bath"- he nodded and looked into her eyes. They were stuck in the cup of tea again.

- "We’ve got the Valencia gig in a couple of days."

- "Right! The MTV streamed no stressful at all show in Spain"- he chuckled and nodded.

- "Nervous?"

- "Not really"- she lied, the fact MTV was going to stream the show was freaking her out, but at the moment, she didn’t care that much. Her head was back in Los Angeles. Her phone hummed, and she quickly grabbed it. “I love you too,” Matthew had written, and a deep sigh came from her lips. Gerard was going to ask something, but not a word came from his lips. Instead, Jeff - their tour manager - opened the door and smiled.

- "I got you an early check-in at the hotel."

And those words were music for Joey’s ears.

That day was hell for the girl. The good thing was the band didn’t have anything to do but play the show, which meant: movies with Mikey and Frank, the best way to keep her head busy from thinking the worst.

- "I’m bored"- Frank whispered as he played with Joey’s hair, who was laid next to him.

- "We have to leave for the show in a while"- Mikey whispered, half awake, half asleep.

- "Great"- the girl murmured, eyes glued at the screen- "I’m hungry."

- "You just ate."

- "I’m bored. Boredom makes me hungry."

- "Come on, let’s get something to eat"- Frank grabbed Joey’s hand and stood up- "I need to move from this bed, or I’m gonna die of boredom."

- "Can you bring me some ice cream?"- Mikey asked from the bed as Joey and Frank put on their shoes.

- "Nope, if you want something, you gotta come with us"- the girl smiled at her friend, who didn’t move.

- "Damn it! Fine… I won’t have ice cream."

- "Good for you, see ya!"

Gerard was just done jerking off in his bed. He wasn’t happy about it, but he didn’t have much to do. He had tried to make music, but shit wasn’t working. He had thought about calling his wife, but it was five in the morning in Los Angeles. He was miserable. He wanted to find a way to end his agony. But all he could think about was Joey walking around the bus in her pajamas. Joey sleeping in the back of the bus in those shorts and a tank top. Joey curled on a couch reading Edgar Allan Poe. His cock was killing him, and his hand hadn’t been enough. He wanted her so bad it hurt, and masturbation just wasn’t enough anymore.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That he was willing to make her happy. But he knew he couldn’t do either of those things.

- “Come live with me and my wife, ‘cos polygamy ain’t illegal or whatever.”

The singer sighed and looked at the ceiling, toilet paper all over his hand, cleaning the mess he had left.

- "You have issues, dude"- Gerard said out loud and closed his eyes. Honestly, there was nothing he could do but to love the girl from a safe distance and hope for his feelings to fade as soon as the tour was over.

Way didn’t want that tour to end because he didn’t want to be apart from Joey. In fact, Gerard was starting to feel obsessed. He hated it, but still, he didn’t know how to stop.

Frank kept laughing like a kid as he and Joey sat at the hotel’s roof deck. He was drinking a beer and smoking while she finished her second ice cream.

- "Mikey Fucking Way"- she argued, frowning- "Because of him, I can’t stop thinking about getting ice cream."

- "You are so fucking high in sugar"- Frank added and grinned.

- "I know! It’s gonna be hell when I get my sugar hangover."

- "I can kiss your temples if that helps"- he answered and winked at her. The girl smiled and raised an eyebrow.

- "Why are you such a flirt with me, Frank Anthony?"

- "I am not a flirt!"- he answered, nearly insulted, but still chuckled after a few seconds as his friend stared at him right into the eyes.

- "Come on! We’ve been friends for a long while now. You are always such a flirt with me. Are you like this with all the girls?"

- "Define like this"- he answered with a lower voice and made his best to look as hot as fuck.

- "Just what you did, you are adorable and hot and cute and all innocent. Why are you like that?"

- "Why? You don’t like it?"

- "I love it, it’s so fucking funny and cute, like you. But sometimes it makes me wonder if you are like that with all the girls…"

- "Why?"

- "’Cause I know you are just my friend, and you can be as flirty as you want; I know it’s a game. But what if you do this with someone who doesn’t get it as I do… then what?"- Frank stayed quiet, looking at his friend. Then took a long drag from his cigarette.

- "What if I’m just a flirt with you?"

- "I surely doubt it"- Joey quickly answered, laughing- "I’ve seen you flirt with basically 99% of the girls we’ve met this tour. You just don’t notice it."

- "I haven’t!"

- "You do, Frank, that’s why I know you are harmless"- that frustrated the guitarist, though he knew he wasn’t going to get any with her anyway. She was his friend; he loved his wife. He just thought Joey was hot.

- "Tell you what, I like flirting with you ‘cos you are cute, and you don’t get nervous"- Iero simply confessed.

- "Of course, I don’t! You are my friend, and this is like…"

- "The nature of our friendship?"

- "You just read my mind, Jersey"- the two of them stayed quiet and smiled.

- "I would hit on you if I wasn’t married, though"- Joey burst out laughing at those words, but Frank just smiled- "I mean it."

- "I know."

- "If I wasn’t… and I did… do you think I’d stand a chance?"- the girl blushed and finished her ice cream.

- "I’d say you would if Gub wasn’t in the picture, of course. We could have gone out on a couple of dates, have fun."

- "And fuck like bunnies"- Frank added, and Joey hit his arm.

- "Dude, you are my friend. Friends don’t fuck."

- "What? So friends make love? besides, we are talking about an alternative universe that will never happen!"

- "Shut up!! You are gross!!"- Joey covered her face with both hands as she shook her head- "You are so fucking funny Jersey, I’m glad I met you."

- "I’m glad I met you too, Iceland. You should stay forever"- she smiled and nodded.

- "I’m not going anywhere today."

- "I mean, you should sign to be a member of the band, like… one of us."

- "One of the guys?"

- "Yeah"- she smiled and held his hand.

- "You are taking this relationship too fast. We’ve been together a few months. We haven’t even moved in together. I don’t think we are quite there yet."

- "You live on my fucking face, Iceland"- Frank laughed and pushed her- "Which reminds me, you have to do your fucking laundry."

- "Yeah… I swear I’ll do it in Spain, while you do all the press and I have the hotel all by myself."

- "You know, sometimes I hate you for that."

- "For not having to do any interviews?"

- "Yeah… I hate those things."

- "Why? 'cos you have to sit in front of a microphone for hours answering the same fucking questions, over and over again?"- she said, smiling.

- "Fuck you."

- "I’m sorry!!"- she laughed, and he grinned- "I bet press sucks, but it comes hand in hand with being a rockstar."

- "I hate that too"- he said and scratched his head, stubbing his cigar in an ashtray- "I just wanted to make music. I don’t know where everything else came from. Sometimes I wish I could stop it all and go home, be with my babies, with my wife."

Frank suddenly had gotten too serious and too deep, something Joey knew was like the comet Halley: it happened once in a lifetime around her.

- "Why don’t you stop?"- she innocently asked, mostly ‘cos she had thought about stopping herself.

- "I don’t know, it’s like… you somehow got trapped in this machine, and it won’t stop working, and if you take a step back, it all collapses…-" he looked at his hands as he spoke, but Joey held them and smiled.

- "I don’t think anything is gonna collapse if you stop doing tour after tour for a while"- she whispered- "There are more important things in life than concerts, you know."

- "Name one"- he said and looked into her eyes.

- "Your kids"

- "Nailed it"- and Joey burst out laughing- "It was too easy!"

- "Exactly, nothing is more important than the ones we love, so shut the fuck up and man up! ask for a break every once in a while, ‘cos this leg of the tour, I must say, has been misery for all of us."

- "I know!"- Frank gesticulated in the most Jersey Italian way that always made Joey laugh- "It’s been hell!"

- "The only good thing of it all, other than the money, I mean"- she said and chuckled- "It’s the fact I can call you my friend."

- "Awww, Iceland. You could have called me your friend from day one, even when I hated the guts out of you."

- "Why did you hate me, by the way?"

- "‘Cos I wanted to do you so bad I didn’t want you in the band"- Frank simply answered, and the drummer raised an eyebrow.

- "Are you joking?"- by her face, Iero could tell the comment hadn’t been the best he had done.

- "Of course, I am!!"- no, he wasn’t- "I just didn’t want to make a circus out of the fact you are a girl. I knew people would start making up stories, and Jamia would be nervous and jealous because of you… having a woman in the band back then meant a mess I didn’t want to deal with."

- "And why did you change your mind?"

- "Mikey forced me"- Joey nodded, and Frank smiled- "And Jamia was really into you from day one. She loved the idea of adding a girl into the tour ‘cos there weren’t enough women in rock… but mostly ‘cos I told her your boyfriend was the hot guy from Criminal Minds, and I swear, she nearly yelled. She wanted me to friend you so she could meet him."

- "I’m in this band ‘cos your wife thinks my soon to be husband is hot?"- and Frank nodded- "I owe Jamia more than I thought I would. Maybe I can send her a picture of Matthew naked"- Frank raised an eyebrow as Joey smiled- "You know she is gonna love those."

- "But he is so tall… he is gonna make me look bad"- he joked, and Joey laughed like she hadn’t laugh that whole day.

- "Of course, he is. But in your defense… he could make every single fucking man on earth look bad. Have you seen his feet?"

- "Joey!! Shut up!!!"

Matthew woke up on his bed, his head killing him and a complete blur of what his night had been. He just sat and scratched his head.

- “What time is it?... wait, how did I get home?... fuck!! What happened last night?!”

The young actor nearly jumped as he started to recap his birthday party. The cast from the movie had arranged a party in a local bar, he was really happy about it, though he almost declined it. He was tired, but his co-star convinced him it was a great idea to go out, get to know everybody a little better, and start his birthday celebration.

- "Oh fuck"- he grunted- "My fucking head is killing me…"- he reached out for his phone and found it on his nightstand. He had a few unread messages from Joey

- “I love you Akumu!”- he smiled right away- “Remember to leave a bottle of water by your bed to keep you hydrated”- and he had indeed left one there- “Save some birthday belated celebration for my comeback in a few days.”

- "Honey!"- his mother’s voice took him from his head as he looked at his bedroom’s door

- "Mom! What are you doing here?"

- "Happy birthday, honey!!"- he stood up and walked over to hug her immediately.

- "Mom! Thank you so much for coming!"

- "I had to come, I have to give you something"- the actor frowned- "This came into the mail for you a few weeks ago, but I had to wait until today to give it to you"

Mrs. Gubler smiled as she gave her son a box. It was completely hand-drawn with jako lanterns, cute skulls, ghosts, and hearts.

- "What is this?"

- "A present that you got from very far away, or so it seems."

Matthew grabbed the box and sat on his bed to open it. Inside, there was a letter from his fiancé, a couple of gorgeous kimonos, Japanese books, art, a few Halloween shirts, and unmatching socks. Matthew was speechless, staring at the box. It was amazing.

- "I can’t believe this"

- "Joey sent it when she reached London, and we agreed I would bring it to you today."

- "Thank you"- he moved over and gave her a hug.

- "Don’t thank me for coming over on your birthday, honey. I love you, thank the girl at the other side of the world who gathered everything you might love and shipped it to you on your special day"- she kissed his cheeks and stood up-" I’m gonna make you breakfast, and you are gonna take a shower ‘cos you stick, are you still drunk?"

- "No mom"

- "Then call your wife! And thank her for the presents!"

- "Yes, mom!"

Matthew grabbed his phone, smiling, and dialed Joey’s number. It rang once. It rang twice. He was about to give up and try later when the girl picked up and smiled at the other side of the screen.

- "Birthday boy!"

- "Baby! You are amazing!"- he quickly said and laid back on his bed- "I just got my presents."

- "Did your mom give you the box?! did you like it?"

- "Hell yeah! It’s amazing, thank you"

- "Did you like the kimonos?"

- "They are the softest!"

- "I know!! I was in shock! You can hang them in the kimono closet!! So when you get home, you can get naked, grab a kimono and just relax!"

- "Are you gonna be naked under your kimono too?"- the girl giggled nervously.

- "That’s very likely"

- "I like that idea. Where are you?"

- "Backstage warming up, we are playing at eight… did you just wake up?"

- "Yeah…"- he whispered and closed his eyes.

- "You were fucking wasted last night."

- "I thought you didn’t notice"- he answered, chuckling, still feeling uneasy about his wild night out. It felt off. Probably ‘cos he was way too hungover.

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, I’m gonna be your wife. I know when you are drunk, you can’t fool me even if you tried your best"- the actor laughed softly (laughing also hurt) and nodded at Joey- "Wait, the guys wanna say hello."

Matthew saw Mikey, Frank, and Ray appear and waved at the camera.

- "Happy birthday, dude!"- Ray said smiling- "How’s the hangover?"

- "Killing me!"

- "Save some liver for our party, man!"- Mikey said and waved too

- "Hope you have a great day!"- Frank added.

- "Thanks, guys!"- Matthew said and waved, yet his eyes were glued at Joey, who kept looking at him with a warm smile.

- "Where’s Gerard?"- Mikey asked and looked around. Gerard. Gubler frowned immediately. He hated him deeply, and he hated the fact Joey worked with him.

- "He was smoking outside"- Frank answered and waved again at the screen- "See you, Gubler!"

- "Bye guys!"- the band walked away, and Joey was now again all alone- "Hey, gorgeous"

- "Hey, wild party beast. What are you doing for the rest of your birthday?"

- "I’m not leaving this bed"- Joey laughed and looked at him in silence for a couple of minutes.

- "I’m gonna be in that bed with you in twelve days, can you believe that?"

- "I’ve waited so long it seems to be an eternity, but at the same time, it feels like it’s gonna be tomorrow."

- "I know exactly how you feel."

- "Honey! breakfast!"- Matthew’s mother yelled from the kitchen, making the young man laugh.

- "I am ten years old again, or was that just a strong flashback?"

- "Go eat, I’ll play a show, and I’ll call you from the hotel, ok?"- he nodded and smiled.

- "I love you so much, Yami."

- "I love you more, Matthew Gray “birthday boy” Gubler. Talk to you in a couple of hours."

The actor hung down and sighed. He felt happy to know he had her in his life. That she was gonna be his wife. As he thought about it, he started going through some of the pictures from the night before. He remembered half of it, but it felt like he had fun.

- "Fuck!!"- he shouted and wide opened his eyes.

Maybe a little too much fun.

Matthew stared at the screen in shock. There was a picture of him kissing two girls at the same time. Two. Girls. Kissing. Him. At. The. Same. Fucking. Time. And it didn’t help when he noticed, one of those girls was his ex-girlfriend.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!"- he kept going through the party pictures, shots, laughter, his ex kissing him while they danced. Bunch of people, more people laughing, his ex and her friend kissing him again.

- "Fucking shit! What the fuck did I do?!"

Matthew’s heart was about to come out of his throat as he started deleting every single photo from his phone. Why were those there? Why did he do that? Who saw him? Where were those pictures now?

- "What the fuck did you do, mother fucker?! What else did you do?!"

Matthew couldn’t move. He just sat with the phone in his hands, thinking if he erased those pictures from his phone, it was like it never happened. But now it was in his mind, and he couldn’t stop the memories from coming back.

He was drunk and sad after talking with Joey. He had another shot and decided to go home, but his ex-girlfriend and one of her friends- part of the team of the movie he was filming- appeared and invited him to dance. Drunk Matthew didn’t seem to think it was a bad idea and joined them on the dancefloor. They danced, the girls started kissing. Gubler liked it and didn’t move away when they moved closer to him and started kissing with him too.

- "Oh fuck!!"- he wanted to kill himself.

But that wasn’t all. He wished it was, but it was all coming back now. His ex took him to the backroom.

- "No!"- Matthew yelled, widening his eyes- "No!"- he repeated, as his mother appeared running into his room.

- "Honey! What is it?! What happened?"

- "I fucked it up!"- he simply answered and didn’t move an inch

- "What are you talking about?"

- "Last night at the party… I ran into Annie, and she was with a friend and…"- the actor made a pause and scratched his head aggressively

- "Matthew?"

- "And they kissed me happy birthday…"

- "Matthew?"

- "And then… mom sorry, I can’t tell you this"- the young man tried to stand up, but his mother stopped him.

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, what did you do last night?"

- "I made out with them, and Annie gave me a blowjob"- he covered his face with both hands, embarrassed and regretful. He felt sick, dirty, gross. He felt like an animal, like everything he had always hated, like a man who cheated.

He cheated. And he wasn’t going to be able to undo it or even forget it.

Matthew broke into tears quietly at first, but his sobbing grew bigger, sadder, and more desperate. He hated himself, he needed to find a way to forget about what had happened, but he couldn’t. Instead, the memories kept coming; Annie kneeled in front of him.

- "Mom… I fucked it up."

- "Yes"- she simply replied- "You did, and Joey is gonna find out, no matter if you don’t tell her."

- "How do you know? Maybe no one saw us"- the actor was in denial and desperate to find anything that could keep him from dealing with the truth- I might have just dreamt the whole thing, maybe it never happened

- "Matthew?"

- "Maybe I can forget about it. If I don’t remember it, then it never happened."

- "Matthew"

- "Mom, I can’t tell her!"- he nearly shouted, nervous and grossed out by himself.

- "I didn’t raise a liar or a cheater"- the young man looked at his mother with watered-up eyes.

- "How am I supposed to tell her something like this? she is gonna hate me! She is gonna break up with me, mom. I know her."

- "You have to take responsibility for the things you’ve done, Matthew. You said you wanted to marry her. You can’t start that commitment with a lie."

- "She is gonna hate me… fuck, I hate me…"

- "Well, you brought it to yourself, Matthew Gray, so you have to fix it."

Gubler took a long shower and cried half of it. He couldn’t believe what he had gotten into. Or why. What had gotten into him to get so drunk ‘till the point of letting his ex-girlfriend give him a blow job? That wasn’t him. He remembered he felt bad after talking with Joey. He knew he couldn’t stop thinking she was touring with Gerard and hated him. What if he had tried to make his move on her? What if she fell for him? She wouldn’t. But what if she did? They had been apart for so long. No, he trusted her with his life. She would never do such a thing.

Then why had he done it?

Matthew honestly wanted to kill himself. That’s how guilty he felt. He knew Joey was never going to forgive him, and he was considering not ever telling her. She was never going to find out if he didn’t confess. Maybe he could take it to the grave.

Mikey hugged Joey goodnight and watched her walk to her room. Gerard looked at them from the other side of the hallway. The girl waved at him, and he waved back.

- "Hey! What are you doing?"- Mikey asked his brother as he lazily walked over him, weary after the show.

- "I just wanted to know if you wanna hang out. James and Frank are locked in their rooms already. Maybe we can watch a movie or something. I don’t feel like being on my own for a while"- Mikey nodded at Gerard.

- "Sure, man. Let me take a shower, and I’ll be right there."

Originally, Gerard wanted to drag Joey along with his brother, ‘cos it seemed like the only way to hang out with her. But she had disappeared way too fast to make his move.

The girl took a shower, put on her pajamas, and dialed Matthew’s number. He didn’t reply.

- "Hangover man has to be hanging out with his mom"- the girl thought out loud and grabbed a book to kill time. He was going to call when he was ready to talk.

Was he?

Matthew saw his cell phone right and froze. His hands shook when he reached out to answer, and that’s when he realized he couldn’t. He wasn’t going to be able to lie to her. But he couldn’t tell her either. He was home alone. His mom was out, mainly to give him space to think and talk with Joey in private. But yet, Matthew didn’t know what to do or what to say.

- "Ok, she is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you are willing to do everything that’s in your power to keep her by your side"- he said and looked at his reflex in the mirror and then washed his face.

- "Akumu!"- Joey smiled as soon as he saw him- "How was breakfast?"

- "Chocolate chips hotcakes with a whipped cream smile on top, and lots of coffee."

- "Spoiled by your mother on your birthday, lucky man"- he smiled and felt a knot in his throat.

- “Fuck! this is going to be so hard!” And how was the show?"

- "It was good, not the finest though… we are all so fucking tired"- the girl laid on her bed and smiled at her boyfriend- "When I get home, I’m not leaving that bed Matthew Gray Gubler, I’m gonna spend every second there... sleeping."

- "I’m not planning on sleeping if you are in this bed"- he answered and felt his voice shake at the end of the sentence, guilt taking over him.

- "You are gonna have to let me sleep at least a day. I’m so fucking tired and jet-lagged all the time. This tour ruined my sleeping schedule"- Joey joked but frowned as she noticed her boyfriend had tears falling from his eyes- "Akumu, what is it? Are you ok? Why are you crying?"

- "‘Cos I miss you"- he simply answered- "I miss you so fucking much! Can we just get married when you get here? I’ll pick you up at the airport, drive us to the nearest church, and we just get married right away"- the girl sighed with watered-up eyes herself as she stared at Gubler sobbing.

- "I miss you too… and I can’t wait to marry you either."

- "Can you promise me you’ll always be with me? No matter what?"

- "Matthew, I swear I’ll always be by your side"- the girl felt broken-hearted by the emotion in her fiancé’s words. She had never seen him so sad before, was it because she wasn’t there on his birthday?- "That is the main reason why I wanna marry you dorky, ‘cos I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, in one eternal Halloween"- Matthew smiled at those words and wiped off his tears.

- "Sorry, I’m just a little emotional… ‘cos I miss you, and I need you here."

- "I’m sorry I couldn’t be there."

- "No, Yami, don’t be sorry. You are working! And you are so awesome and incredible. I swear I don’t deserve you."

Matthew kept trying to stop crying, but it was harder than he thought. He was feeling so guilty, so low, the worst human on earth. And the girl on the other side of the world was just telling him she thought he was the best man amongst them all.

- "Yes, you do! You are an incredible man, hangover boy! I should be the one telling you how amazing you are, it’s your birthday! I want to make you feel happy all the time, please don’t be sad!"

- "I just need to see your face to be happy today"- he answered without hesitation and sighed- "You know what?"

- "What?"

- "I’m gonna tour with you."

- "What?"- Joey frowned and looked at how Matthew sat correctly on his bed and fixed his hair.

- "Yes, I will. I hate this. I hate being apart from you this long. So next couple of months, I’m gonna follow you wherever you go."

- "You’d do that for me?"- the girl widened her eyes

- "Joey, I would do anything for you"- Matthew made sure to pronounce every word as slowly as possible as he looked at her eyes- "So I’ll schedule plane tickets to be with you."

- "And your work?"

- "You are more important than my job. I can’t be like this anymore, we are gonna finish the movie in two weeks, and after that, my only job will be to clap after every song you play"- Joey smiled, feeling her heart swell with love, as a few more tears fell from her eyes.

- "You are making me so happy."

- "My plans for as long as I live exactly."

Mikey and Gerard were laid watching tv. Mikey kept surfing channels while Gerard sipped his diet coke and scrolled down his Twitter timeline. Neither of them felt like talking, pretty much ‘cos they were tired, and after being so many weeks stuck together, there wasn’t much new to say.

- "Weird!"- Mikey chuckled as they caught a Criminal Minds episode and Matthew as Spencer Reid appeared on screen- "I never thought I’d friend this guy."

- "Why did you do that? he is an asshole"- Gerard simply answered and kept his eyes stuck on the phone.

- "He’s not an asshole. He is hilarious. You’d like him if you met him."

- "Not interested"- Mikey frowned and kept surfing channels- "Wow, I thought you were going to watch your boyfriend’s show."

- "Wow, very mature, Gerard."

- "Sorry"- the singer knew he had crossed the line, mostly ‘cos he shouldn’t show how much he hated Matthew because…

- "Why do you hate him so much?"- because Mikey could start asking questions, and he didn’t want to talk.

- "I don’t hate him. He is not my friend, which is very different."

- "And Joey is not your friend either"- Mikey added- "You never talk to her."

- "She never talks to me"- Gerard added, and his voice betrayed him, showing some bitterness in his words.

- "Well, maybe because you didn’t want her in the band."

- "It’s been months. Get over it."

- "Now that I think about it, you are not even close to her at all…"

- "You are way too close to her, close enough for the two of us"- Gerard spit those words, still not looking at his brother.

- "What? Are you jealous or something?"

- "No!"- he snorted- "Why? Should I?"

- "I don’t know. You are being an asshole."

- "I’m just tired…"- Gerard came up with the worst excuse ever

- "Ok, if you are tired, I’ll leave you to sleep, dude, you are not what I call a pleasure to hang out with anyway"- Mikey stood up and walked to the door- "See you tomorrow at the plane."

Mikey left the room, and Gerard groaned, annoyed. He grabbed the remote control and surfed the channels until he found Criminal Minds again. He just wanted to see Matthew’s face to hate him even more.

- "What’s so special about this asshole? He is just a pretty boy, no talent, definitely no acting skills… He is tall. That’s all he has in his favor"- Gerard was arguing with the television out loud.

- "I mean… it’s clear he is not as smart as his character, and he ain’t funny either, shit! I bet he hasn’t done anything but this stupid tv show and those 3 minutes in the Wes Anderson movie."

Gerard opened google and searched for information about Matthew Gray Gubler, just to make sure he was a loser. He hated to know he wasn’t, though Gerard thought everything he had done had been pathetic so far. Everything but proposing Joey. And that was what Gerard hated the most. It was sick, and he knew it, that obsession he had about that girl, the one he couldn’t have. He just couldn’t take the idea of being with her out of his mind. Why? Was it because obviously, she didn’t want him? Many girls hadn’t wanted him before. Why was this one killing him slowly?

- "Oh fuck!"- Gerard nearly shook with his coke when he saw a picture of Matthew’s birthday- "Oh man!! I knew you were too good for my girl!!"- Gerard wanted to jump when he saw a picture of Matthew making out with a girl and the comment: “Matthew Gray Gubler birthday, 2011”.

- "You are going down!!"

::: Munich, March 10th, 2011 :::

Ray and Joey walked out of a Krispy Kremes at the airport, waiting for their flight to Valencia, holding a huge box of freshly made donuts. Joey was in heaven, and Ray was laughing at how excited she was about coffee and sugar.

- "Touring with you and Mikey together has been the best training to be a dad one day"- the guitarist said, chuckling.

- "Are you planning on having babies, dad?"

- "Yeah, it’s something me and Christa have talked about a few times. I want to wait until life gets a little bit less… messy ‘cos I wanna be with her the whole way and enjoy our babies."

- "Oh, dad, you are so cute"- the girl pout and punched his arm- "I want babies too, but I don’t think it will happen soon."

- "Why?"

- "Well, ‘cos I guess I want to wait until I have a steady job first."

- "And what is this for you?"- Toro gesticulated.

- "I’m your drummer for the tour Ray. The tour will end at some point, though it seems endless right now, and I will have to look for another job. And what if I get another tour drummer job? I’m gonna have to travel again. When am I going to be home with my husband to make and raise a baby?"

- "Well… after the tour you could be our studio drummer too, and you can stay in Los Angeles with Matthew and start making babies"- the girl chuckled at those words, though she liked the idea- "You should name your firstborn Ray though, I’ll put that in the contract"- both of them laughed and reached their gate.

- "Kids! Sugar!"- Joey’s smile shone as she gave Frank and Mikey the donuts box.

Gerard looked at her and sighed, thinking he wanted to tell her what he knew about Matthew, but it hurt him to know how much damage it was going to mean for her

- "Hey, Gerard!"- she snapped her fingers in front of him- "This one has your name on it. I figured you’d like a cappuccino cream donut."

- "Thank you"- he felt his cheeks blushing as he held the donut and smiled at Joey- "Sugar low?"

- "Yeah, my body needs some fuel to work until we reach the next hotel, and I can sleep some more."

- "Why? You didn’t sleep well last night?"- Gerard bit his donut and stared at Joey’s cheek turning red.

- "No, I stayed up talking with Matthew until three am."

- "Wow… really? Everything ok?"- Gerard’s heart beat a little faster with those words. She wouldn’t be so happy if she knew what Gubler was doing behind her back. Or did she not care? No, it was more likely she had no idea.

- "Yeah, we just miss each other a lot, and it was his birthday. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, even on FaceTime."

- "His birthday!"- Gerard nodded- "Right, so he didn’t party or whatever?“Smooth dude, good”

- "He did, the night before with some friends from work, he was kind of hungover"- Joey smiled again- "So last night was our moment to celebrate."

- "Dude, please. I don’t wanna picture you and Matthew having phone sex"- Frankie showed up and grabbed Joey’s coffee- "I mean, you, that I can imagine, but him… not so much."

- "Jersey!!"- the girl frowned and smacked him.

- "What?!"

- "Stop being disgusting!"- he chuckled, and she took her coffee back from his hands

- "We all knew what you meant when you said you “stayed up talking with Matthew until three am”- Iero air quoted and laughed again- "We’ve all been there, I’ve been there like three times in the latest weeks."

- "Come on!!!"- Joey smacked him again and walked away. Frank kept laughing for a few seconds and finished his donut.

- "Hey guys, come closer"- Gerard whispered as he noticed Joey had walked away, probably to the bathroom- "I need to tell you something."

- "What?"- Mikey raised an eyebrow as he moved closer ‘cos his brother had whispered.

- "Last night, I was on Twitter, and this picture of Gubler appeared… he… he cheated on Joey at his birthday party."

Gerard had prepared the speech to make sure no one would ever know he had been looking for information about Gubler and saved the picture as proof.

- "What the fuck?"- Mikey grabbed the phone from his brother’s hand and took a look at the picture.

- "Are you sure that’s him?"- Ray moved closer and took a long look at the picture.

- "Yeah! It’s him! He cheated on the party Joey told us he had with his friends"- Mikey was in shock. He walked away and closed his eyes, thinking about Joey and how she would take the news. Frank was so mad. He wanted to kill that guy. He also walked away and murmured curses for a minute straight. Ray couldn’t believe it, and his only concern at the moment was:

- "We have to tell her"

- "How can we tell her that?!"- Mikey pointed at the phone- "We are gonna break her!"

- "He broke her!"- Gerard argued- "He is the one who fucked it up! We are her friends, and we have to let her know what’s going on"- the band stayed quiet, neither of them knowing what to say.

- "Hey kids!"- Joey appeared suddenly smiling- "Why did you all get all serious? Did something happen?"

- "Yeah"- Gerard said, and Frank quickly interrupted him.

- "I ate the last donut and didn’t share it"- the girl raised an eyebrow.

- "Bullshit."

- "No, Gerard wanted it, and it seems I tend to hoard all the sweets…"- Joey frowned at that nonsense.

- "You do"- Mikey supported his lie flawlessly- "You always eat more than us!"

- "Ok… sure…"- Joey walked to a chair and looked at her phone. Mikey turned to his brother and punched his arm.

- "Not here! Don’t be an asshole! We wait until we are in the hotel! You can’t do this in public!"- Gerard felt like an ass. His brother was right. He was so desperate to end that relationship he wasn’t thinking straight.

He wanted to end a relationship that wasn’t even his. What had he turned into? A cold-blooded asshole who craved a girl so much, he was willing to ruin her life to get a chance to be with her?

Mikey was playing with his fingers nonstop. He just wanted to get out of the plane and avoid Joey for a long while. He was thankful the girl was sound asleep next to him ‘cos he knew he wouldn’t be able to pretend things were cool and peachy. Mikey knew he was a lousy liar. He wasn’t going to act like everything was good.

- "Hey"- Frank waved and pointed to the back of the plane. Mikey stood up and followed him, there Ray and Gerard were waiting for them.

- "What is it?"

- "We have to talk about what happened. When are we going to tell her?"- Gerard said, and the four of them looked at each other in silence for a few seconds- "I know it’s crap, but we can’t leave her in the dark about it… can we?"

- "No man"- Frank said and took a look around, scared the girl might see or hear them- "But… she is gonna be a mess, and I don’t wanna feel like we did this to her."

- "He did this to her"- Gerard quickly replied- "This whole shit is his fault."

- "Gubler should tell her"- Iero added. He didn’t feel like he could do such harm to her friend. He was going to harm Gubler, but not Joey.

- "He won’t do that, Frank"- Ray said- "But… I don’t want to be a cold bitch here, but we’ve got the Valencia show in two days, and that shit will be televised… if we tell her… and she wants to leave…"

- "Dude, we can’t wait that long"- Gerard interrupted him.

- "Why not?"- Ray asked, and Way didn’t reply. His honest answer was: “Because I wanna hold her tight and tell her “everything is gonna be ok” as soon as possible. And I also want to ruin Matthew’s life in the shortest notice”.

- "Because if she finds out that we knew and we didn’t tell her, we are gonna pay. She is gonna think we betrayed her"- Mikey answered instead of Gerard, ‘cos he had a reasonable answer.

- "You are right"- Ray nodded- "And that would be hell"- the four of them nodded.

- "So? Tonight?"- Frank asked- "We should get her something…"

- "Like what? Flowers?"- Gerard asked, confused.

- "Like alcohol, chocolate, chick flicks"- Mikey frowned at his brother- "So you never helped a friend when her boyfriend dumped her?"- and Gerard stayed still- "Wow, you can’t cease to amaze me."

- "I didn’t have many girlfriends back in the days"- Gerard explained.

- "Whatever…"

- "Ok, so after dinner, we go to her room"- Frank finished, and they all accepted- "Ok, now let me go to the bathroom ‘cos I need to take a piss, come on, move it."

Ray looked around his room and sighed. He had called Christa and told her what was going on. He felt responsible for Joey’s wellbeing, and at that moment, he was scared of what would happen. His wife was in shock. She couldn’t believe Matthew had done such a thing. She even doubted it was real.

- "Are you sure that the picture isn’t photoshopped?"

- "Yeah!"

- "Really?"- Ray doubted

- "Well, it looked very real to me"

- "Why don’t you ask him?"

- "Yes, honey! He is going to come clean right away!"

- "I mean it, baby! Maybe it wasn’t a party, maybe it was a scene from his coming up film out of context, maybe it was a bad angle."

- "Christa, the tongue of two women were liking him at the very same time unless he is doing porn, there is no way that’s from his upcoming movie!"- Ray made a point, and his wife’s silence made it clear. Now he was walking in circles, trying to set his mind straight. He had never done this before, and shit, he didn’t want to.

The guitarist grabbed the Pride and Prejudice blu ray he had gotten that afternoon and sighed. It was time. He walked out to the hall and into the elevator. Just outside of Joey’s room, he bumped into Mikey and Frank. One held a paper bag with some chocolates and candies, and the other, a whiskey bottle. Of course, the whiskey guy was Iero.

- "Should we wait for Gerard?"- Ray asked

- "Nah"- Frank knocked and waited- "He is always late."

- "And you are always so on time"- Mikey joked and chuckled.

- "Hey! Ready for that movie?"- Joey opened the door smiling- "Say hello to Matthew!!"- the girl flipped her phone, and her boyfriend waved at the band.

- "Hey guys"- but neither of them smiled at him.

- "We are gonna watch a movie"- Joey turned and walked back- "I’ll call you in a while, ok?"

- "Sure, Yami. I love you so much!"

- "I love you more!"

- "Have fun"- Joey hung down and looked at her friends, narrowing her eyes, upset- "What the fuck is your problem?"

- "Bug, we need to talk"- the knock on the door interrupted Mikey, but Frank walked over quickly and opened it.

- "We are starting. What did you bring?"- Gerard frowns at that questions

- "You weren’t kidding? We had to bring something? Like a birthday party?"

- "Shit, you are an asshole"- Frank just shook his head.

- "Mikey, Ray? What is it?"- the girl sat on her bed, leg crossed, as Mikey sat next to her and held her hand.

- "Turns out we’ve got some news for you."

- "Am I fired?"- she wide opened her eyes in shock- "I am, right? Fuck I knew this was gonna happen eventually."

- "No, Bug, you are not fired"- Ray sat next to Mikey and smiled- "We are more than happy to have you here, and we would love to have you with us forever."

- "Yeah, Iceland, you are one of us now. Deal with the fact you are doomed"- Frank said and moved closer to the girl to mess with her hair.

- "Then?"- she asked and looked at the four worried faces in front of her- "What is it? ‘Cos it seems serious."

None of them knew how to say it, though each of them had practiced it in front of the mirror. And Gerard, the one who was anxious to say it, suddenly felt the remorse of being the one to break it on Joey’s face. He knew it had to happen, though. That didn’t make it less sad.

- "Joey, last night I found this picture of Gubler’s birthday party on Twitter"- the singer simply said and gave her his phone.

Mikey closed his eyes, and Frank looked down. Neither of them was able to face the girl at the moment. Joey just stared at the screen in silence for at least a minute, holding her breath. There he was, Matthew. Cheating. What she thought was impossible happened. And the most profound pain she could feel took over her body second by second.

Her world fell down. She couldn’t believe it. Matthew was kissing his ex-girlfriend. She recognized her right away, the other girl, she had no idea who she was.

He betrayed her trust. He destroyed her heart, she could feel it breaking inside her chest, with deep aching pain, and it didn’t let her breathe. She wanted everybody out of the room to cry alone. She wanted to smash Gerard’s phone against the wall. And most of all, she wanted to find an explanation, maybe an excuse for that fucking image. It was to be a lie. Matthew would never do that. Never. Thoughts kept rolling down her head. It was a lie. It had to be. Maybe a fan photoshopped it. Perhaps it was old. Maybe it wasn’t Gubs, just a lookalike.

- "Joey…"- Mikey whispered- "Are you ok?"

- "Is that the only picture you saw?"- the girl asked with a cold tone in her voice.

- "No"- Gerard murmured and frowned as he noticed the lack of emotion in Joey’s face

- "Can you send me the pictures, please?"- her voice was turning shaky while she made an effort to stay calm.

Joey hated to cry, and overall, she hated to cry in front of people. She hated when people pitied her, and at the moment, it was all she was feeling coming from her friends. Pity.

- "Bug, it is ok to be sad"- Mikey said and held her hand tight.

- "I’m not sad, I’m mad"- her eyes were filled with tears she refused to cry. Her jaws felt tight. She didn’t even want to talk anymore.

- "Hey, we are here- Ray kneeled in front of Joey and tucked away some of her hair that was falling on her face. He kept his brown eyes in hers, locked, trying to read her reaction. He realized how much she was trying to hold back. He knew his friend pretty well, and he could tell how embarrassed she was to share this with everybody. So he whispered:

- "Joey, do you want to be alone for a little while?"- and she quickly nodded, biting the inside of her cheeks.

- "Dude, we can’t leave her alone!"- Gerard immediately said and hit his friend’s arm. But Ray didn’t leave Joey’s eyes, not even for a second, and she did the same.

- "No, she is going to be ok, we are going to leave her alone for a while, and I am going to take her key, is that ok, Joey?"- the girl nodded again- "Ok, so I’ll take your key. I’ll come back in an hour to see if you need anything, ok?"

Joey couldn’t even say a word, so she nodded one last time and looked at Ray stand up.

- "Dude? What the fuck?"- Gerard was in shock, but Mikey understood immediately what Ray was doing.

- "I love you"- the youngest Way whispered and kissed Joey’s cheek. She got even tenser at his touch. She felt she was going to break into tears if anyone else touched her. So she refused to hug anybody.

- "Bug, if you need a drink, I left your favorite whiskey on the table… I’ll stop by later to have a shot with you, ok?"- Frank whispered and cut her a short smile. She nodded and watched them walk away. Gerard didn’t want to move, he took a few steps closer and opened his arms, but Joey quickly moved from him and frowned, like a frightened cat trying to escape from everything and everybody.

- "Gerard, leave her, she is ok"- Ray grabbed Gerard’s arm and pushed him- "I’ll come back in an hour, Bug"- the girl watched them walking to the door, Gerard kept looking back at her, concerned and scared she wasn’t going to be ok on her own.

- "Dude, this is wrong"- he argued the second they closed the door- "We can’t leave her there! It’s not safe!"- and just then, Joey’s yells crying froze the four of them- "Give me the key!"- Gerard argued and tried to take it from Ray’s pocket.

- "No! She needs to be on her own! She needs to cry, and she is never going to cry in front of us!"

- "What the fuck do you know?"- the singer questioned obfuscated.

- "Calm down, Gee. Ray is right"- Mikey said and sighed- "Joey needs to be alone, she ain’t going to kill herself, she just needs to yell and cry, and probably call that mother fucker and break up with him."

- "Yeah, come on"- Frank tapped on Gerard’s back and started walking- "Let’s get a beer, smoke a cigarette, and we can come back in a while. Ray has the key, so we know she won’t lock herself alone."

Gerard hated his friends at that moment. He had to be there for her, hold her, kiss her, console her. What the fuck was he doing with those guys? She needed him. He had to be with her. Why were they doing this?

- "So you don’t care?"- Gerard squabbled, and Mikey simply sighed.

- "You don’t know how she is like…"- and his brother’s words were enough to insult Gerard and shut him up.

Joey was on her knees on the floor, crying. Gasping for air every few seconds and feeling how every tear in her body came out at the same time. There was a void in her chest, right where it used to be her heart. Matthew Gray Gubler broke her heart. He broke her. All the fears she had locked inside ‘cos Matthew made her trust were now out again, and a voice in the back of her head kept telling her, “You knew this was going to happen if you were stupid enough to trust someone.”

But he was so good for her. How could he do that? Was it something she had done? Was it because she wasn’t there? You can’t be stuck with somebody to keep them from cheating. You don’t cheat. If you are not happy, you break up.

Joey felt sick in her stomach and had to rush to the bathroom. She puked crying, she couldn’t stop doing either of them. She kept choking with tears as she vomited. Until it was done. She flushed and stayed there, on the bathroom floor, crying and shaking in sadness. In fear. In disappointment.

What was she going to do? She had to break up with him. She couldn’t marry a cheater, and she wasn’t going to trust him ever again. Two fucking girls at the same time. What if he had done it before and got caught just now? For how long had he been doing that? What if she was seeing other girls regularly?

- "I knew this was going to happen. You don’t date a guy like that and expect him to be faithful…"- the girl whispered to herself, weeping- "He had nothing to do with a girl like me. Take a look at yourself, you dumb slut!"

Joey never said it out loud. She never let herself think about it. She refused to accept the fact she was weak. She had always hated herself. She felt she wasn’t worthy of anything good. All the years in the orphanage had left more than scars on her skin. They were also in her mind. You don’t spend years watching kids leaving with families and don’t convince yourself you are not good enough to be picked, to be happy. And when a family picks you up, you think it’s not you. It’s pity.

Sure, you can cover it up. You can be serious. You can stay away emotionally from people. You can find shelter in music and hide from the world in it. You can kick people’s ass when they hurt you or insult you. You can lie and say you are not “a people person,” whatever that means. But none of that can erase the fact that you feel alone, unwanted. Worthless.

- "I wanna call this mother fucker and fucking yell at him the kind of scumbag he is!!"- Frank said as he lit another cigarette and took a look at his watch- "She has been alone for half an hour, do you think she is ok?"

- "Of course, she is not ok, but she has to handle it. She is a grown woman"- Ray answered and sipped his beer.

- "I can’t believe he did this to her"- Mikey whispered- "She, of all the women I’ve known, doesn’t deserve to be treated like this."

A few tears filled his eyes, and he quickly wiped them off, lighting a cigarette too.

- "I’m gonna kill him, as soon as we get home, I’m gonna kill this mother fucker. I’ve got his fucking address, I’m gonna get there, and fucking break every bone in his body with my own hands"- Mikey was losing his cool. He stood up and walked around the hotel’s terrace, and looked at the city lighten in front of him. Frank stared at his friends and stood up too.

- "I’m with you, but we can’t be like this in front of her."

- "I know"- Mikey scratched his head and smoked in silence for a few seconds- "I’m not doing press tomorrow,"- he announced- "I’m staying with her all day long."

- "You can’t just…"- but Gerard’s words were lost in the air knowing his brother wasn’t asking, he was letting them know what he was doing.

- "Maybe we could take turns"- Frankie thought out loud- "You stay with her in the morning, Ray stays with her after lunch, and so on"- they all nodded. Gerard felt excited there was a chance he was going to get time alone with her.

- "Let’s see if she approves it first"- Ray said, and Mikey smiled for a second. He could picture Joey arguing she was ok, and him simply just staying with her, not taking no for an answer. She was going to be pissed.

- "Can we please check on her?"- Gerard tried to ask, but in real life, it sounded like he was begging- "I’m worried"- Ray sighed and took a look at his clock

- "Thirty more minutes"

- "Why at the hour?"- the eldest Way questioned

- "‘Cos she has to put her shit together before we come back, and she knows we’ll come back in an hour."

Joey walked around her room, holding a glass of whiskey. Her third glass of whiskey. Her phone was in her hand, and her finger was about to push “dial.”

- "You can do this"- she said to herself. She had cleaned her face, wiped off all the tears, combed her hair, and taken a long time calming herself down. More than anything, she didn’t want Matthew to see her cry. She couldn’t show any weakness to him.

She knew she would never be fully ready to do this, but if not now, when? So she dialed.

- "Hey Yami!! How’s the movie? Is it over yet?"- Matthew’s face filled the screen, and Joey needed a few seconds to put herself together again. His face was too much to handle. She still loved him too much to see him after what had just happened. Maybe FaceTime hadn’t been the best idea.

- "You cheated on me"- she managed to say. Matthew’s heart stopped- "It’s all over Twitter!!! You fucking cheated on me, and you just pretended it was all perfect??!"

Gubler sat on his couch and looked at his mom, who was next to him, reading. She slowly stood up and walked to the other room. He kept his eyes on Joey’s face and held his breath. Why did he think he could hide it from her? Now, what was he going to say? Was he going to deny it? Could he?

- "Yami, I..."

- "Don’t fucking Yami me, Matt"- she spit the last word with disdain, ‘cos she knew how much he hated being called that way- "You lied, you cheated, and you ruined everything!"

- "Joey, please, listen to me"- the young man stood up and started walking around the room, not knowing what to do or what to say.

- "What should I listen to? Do you think you can talk your way out of this?"- Matthew brushed his hand on his face and scratched his hair, confused and scared.

- "Joey, listen, I was drunk. It didn’t mean anything."

- "What? So being drunk is the perfect excuse for me to accept the fact your ex-girlfriend’s tongue was down your throat, and with another girl too? What the fuck?!"

- "Joey, it didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake!"

- "A “mistake”? How many “mistakes” have you made ever since I left? Tell me."

- "Please, Joey, listen to me. I was drunk, they started dancing, and they kissed me and…"

- "And you fucking took them home and fucked the two of them at the fucking same time. I can picture that very clear, the same fucking bed you said you wanted me to be in."

- "Joey! No!! That’s not what happened!"

- "Then enlighten me, Matthew. Tell me, what the fuck happened?"

Gubler sighed and bit his lips. He didn’t want to tell her, but he knew he had to. She was going to find out the truth one way or another. Maybe if he came clean with her, she would understand. He loved her. She knew that. It was a mistake, a horrible mistake, but it didn’t mean a thing, anything at all.

- "We were at the party, and you called… we talked, and I decided to go home."

- "Sure"- she interrupted sarcastically.

- "Listen, I wanted to go home ‘cos I missed you, but Mark found me and got me a couple of drinks. I was super drunk already when Ann appeared."

- "So you had invited her?"

- "No! No way! I had no idea she was there!"

- "But you got thrilled to see her."

- "I didn’t care! Joey, please, believe me. I was just drunk and stupid, but it didn’t mean a thing!"

- "You fucked her!!"

- "I didn’t fuck neither of them!"

- "There are pictures!! Pictures of you and her and… you were leaving together"

- "We didn’t fuck! Joey, I swear!!"

- "Sorry, but I can’t believe you! I can’t believe a word that’s coming from your lips!"

- "Joey, Yami, baby, love… I swear, I didn’t fuck with them"

- "Then what happened?"

Joey was severe and cold. She had managed not to cry so far, and that made her feel proud. She was devastated and nearly suicidal inside, but she wasn’t going to give Matthew the pleasure of seeing her destroyed because of him. Not that day.

- "Joey… nothing happened."

- "Matthew, if you are going to lie, and I discover that you did…"

- "Ann took me to the back room and decided she wanted to give me a birthday present, so she..." - Joey closed her eyes and threw the phone to the bed.

- "Hijo de la gran puta!! (son of a bitch!!)"- she managed to yell, losing it for a second.

- "It was just a blowjob. Nothing else happened, I swear, Joey! and I stopped her!"- Matthew broke in tears as Joey walked around the room, poured herself another whiskey, and looked at the phone still on her bed.

- "Just a blowjob??! Just a blowjob, Matthew?? Do you fucking believe that shit??"

- "Joey, it meant nothing!!! I didn’t want to do it!!"

- "Bullshit!!"- Joey grabbed the phone again and cut him a look so full of hate Matthew knew he was losing her second by second.

- "Yami, please, I hate myself too, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to undo this!! I was too drunk! I thought it was you, and when I saw her, I stopped it"- Joey scoffed and bit her lips to stop the tears- "I regret everything that happened, it was stupid, and it meant nothing, I fucking love you, Joey, you are my bride! you are my love and my whole life!"

- "No"- she quickly replied.

- "Joey, please."

- "No, Matthew. I am not your bride, and I am not your life, not anymore. I am merely the girl you fucking broke and lied to."

- "Please, please try to understand, it wasn’t me, it was a mistake! I didn’t mean it!!"

- "But it happened, Matthew, and that’s it. You can’t undo it."

- "Please, please! you have to forgive me."

- "Why should I forgive you, Matthew? ‘Cos I love you? Is that enough?"- the girl stopped talking, ‘cos her eyes were filled with tears, and she was still making her best not to cry in front of him. But it was getting too hard. Nearly impossible.

- "Joey, please don’t leave me"- the boy begged, his voice as a whisper at the other side of the line. He was crying like a baby, sobbing and walking around his house, not knowing what to do- "Yami, I need you"- every word that came from his lips cracked each of her already shattered heart into another tiny piece.

- "You should have thought of that before, shouldn’t you?"- the girl answered coldly- "You know how much it took me to trust you, Matthew, how much it took me to give you my heart, to you, for the very fucking first time in my life."

- "Please, please… give me another chance…"- he was sobbing, and Joey couldn’t hold it anymore. She broke into tears in front of him as well.

He looked at her, still thinking there was a chance she could forgive him. He didn’t mean to hurt her. It was a mistake. He loved her. She knew it. What did he have to do to change her mind? To keep her by his side.

- "No"- Joey answered, whimpering- "There are no second chances, Matthew."

- "Please, Joey, I am so so so sorry!"

- "Being sorry doesn’t fix anything."

- "I love you"

- "You didn’t care about that when she sucked your dick, did you?"- Joey managed to say, drying the tears from her eyes- "You just fucking enjoyed it, and fucked with my feelings, ‘cos I wasn’t supposed to know."

- "I love you so much"

- "So what?"- she simply answered- "So I should forgive you ‘cos you love me?"

- "I’d do anything for you."

- "You should have started by not cheating."

Joey took a deep breath and looked at Gubler sobbing at the other side of the line, desperate, honestly desperate

- "Bye, Matthew."

- "No, Joey! Wait! Don’t!"

But that was all Joey could handle. She threw the phone back to her bed and fell on the floor, crying her eyes out again. It was too much for her; she wasn’t going to make this alive. Joey loved him so much, but Matthew had damaged her to the edge of sanity. She was proud she had managed the situation mostly cold-headed. She wanted him. She wanted to forgive him so badly. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t going to believe him ever again.

- "Bug?"- Ray opened the door and found her lying on the bed. Mikey ran to her and held her. She wasn’t crying anymore. She looked in shock. He almost broke into tears next to her, not knowing what to do. She merely blinked. She wasn’t talking. She just laid there, curl up, almost lifeless. Barely alive.

Mikey hugged her tight, lying next to her, trying to keep her warm, ‘cos she kept shaking. Frank wiped off the tears from his eyes as he turned around and poured himself a whiskey.

Gerard looked at the scene from a safe distance while Ray tried to talk to Joey, and Frank started drinking, trying not to show how insanely angry he was. Gerard felt like shit. He didn’t think it would affect him so much. But suddenly, he was feeling guilty. Honestly and deeply guilty. He was the one who found out. He was the one who was eager to tell her. He was the one who told her. And an hour ago, he was excited about it, ‘cos it meant she wasn’t going to be with Matthew anymore. But he was so selfish he never stopped himself from thinking what was going to happen to her. How it was going to affect her. And Gerard felt now like a monster.

- "I’m ok kids"- Joey whispered and cut Ray a slight smile- "I’m just tired."

- "Do you want something to eat?"- he asked, but she shook her head- "I’m gonna leave these chocolates here, ok?"

- "Thank you…"- Mikey kissed the top of her head and snuggled her closer. Her phone kept ringing on the floor. Frank quickly grabbed it. It already had five missing calls from Matthew.

- "This mother fucker is gonna…"

- "Please don’t"- but Joey’s words were useless, Frank picked up, ignoring her.

- "Joey!"- Gubler yelled at the other side of the line.

- "Don’t you fucking dare calling her again!!"- Frank yelled with hate- "You are not getting close to her. You are not talking to her. You are dead! Heard me? You are dead to her, and if you fucking get close to her, I am gonna fucking kill you, heard me? I’m gonna kill you!!"

Frank didn’t even let him reply. He hung down and turned off the phone.

- "Why did you do that?"- Joey whispered and took a deep breath.

- "I’m not gonna let that guy hurt you again"- Frank murmured as he kneeled by the bed and kissed her temple sweetly- "Never, I’m not gonna let him make you cry or break your heart again, ok?"

Frank’s words were so full of honesty and emotion, even his voice shook. Tears fell from his eyes, and Joey stared at him in shock. He cared that much for her. It was shocking to realize how much they all cared for her.

- "Thank you, Frank"- he smiled

- "Hey, whatever you need"- he smiled shyly- "Now make room"- the girl and Mikey moved, as Frank crawled on the bed next to her. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head as Mikey laid at the other side of her, still cuddling her.

Gerard stared at the scene and wondered how they could just do that, it was what he wanted to do, but he could not move from where he was standing.

- "Wanna watch a movie?"- Ray grabbed the remote control- "Let’s see what we can find"- he knew Pride and Prejudice wasn’t right for the moment, so he tried to find the most random movie he could in pay per view. Die Hard was the chosen one. He and Gerard laid on the bed with the others and didn’t say another word. The girl wanted to be alone, but she knew they weren’t going to let her. It felt good in a way, knowing they cared about her and wanted to be with her at that dark moment.

Matthew was crying, sitting on his bed. He didn’t seem to be able to stop the tears from falling. He held the phone and dialed over and over again. It was off. The wedding was off. His whole life was off at that point. He had made the biggest mistake, and now he knew he couldn’t fix it. But he had to. He wanted to.

- "Yami, please, I’m so sorry"- he talked with her voicemail- "I need you to forgive me, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t want to, it was a mistake"- the call ended, he dialed again- "Yami, I can’t live without you, I can’t, I swear, please, I’m so sorry, I’d do anything you want, anything, but please, please"- the call ended, he dialed again- "Please… Joey, I love you so much, I need you so much, I..."

- "Honey"- his mother whispered as she walked into his room and found him weeping on the phone.

- "She left me, mom"- he whispered and felt her arms around him- "She broke up with me"- he couldn’t say another word ‘cos the tears, and the sobbing didn’t let him talk. His mother kissed his temple and hugged him tightly.

- "You are gonna fix this, baby. It’s gonna be ok."

- "How?"- he managed to murmur.

- "She loves you so much, she is going to forgive you. I know she will."

- "I hurt her mom. She doesn’t deserve this... I don’t deserve her… she is an angel, and I ruined it"- Matthew couldn’t say another word. He just hid his head on his mother’s neck and cried.

Taglist

@all-tings-diego @worryd0ll

#Gerard Way #Matthew gray gubler #mgg angst #mikey way #frank iero #ray toro #mcr #mgg #babymetaldoll writes

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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 3 years

Text

Callbacks & Cannoli Cake

Requested by: The wonderful Wignony! (“If I haven't missed the cut off, could I request an imagine with Joe and reader? Something sickeningly sweet and romantic, maybe along the lines of a proposal/ wedding day/ honeymoon?”)

Summary: Joe got good news at work, but tonight you’ll have something even better to celebrate.

Warnings: Language, literal sugary sweetness, a tiny bit of angst (I’m sorry, you know me, I couldn’t help it! 😂).

Word Count: 1.5k.

You’re reading the text for the fifth time when he walks through the front door. I GOT THE PART!!! See yo fine ass at 6:15 ;)

“Hey, firefly!” Joe calls brightly, racing into the kitchen and linking his arms around your waist from behind, kissing the back of your neck with loud, comedic smacks as you giggle and try not to massacre the icing you’ve been painstakingly smoothing with a spatula. He’s called you that since your first date, a picnic in Grand Hope Park that was supposed to just be lunch and turned into drinks, tapas, dinner, and ice cream for dessert as fireflies crept out of their shelters and freckled the sky with their harmless, inborn lightning.

“Joe, babe, stop, please stop, I’m going to ruin the cake—”

Joe gasps, spying it for the first time. “A cannoli cake? You made me a cannoli cake?!”

You lift up the heavy glass cake plate and gingerly show him, wearing a sheepish smile. “I thought we should celebrate. There’s lasagna in the oven, it’ll be done in twenty minutes.”

“So we get to eat the cake first.”

You laugh, ferrying the cannoli cake to the kitchen table as Joe picks up the spatula and licks it like a lollipop, moaning orgasmicly, mascarpone frosting peppered with miniature chocolate chips dotting his nose and chin. “Tonight, Mr. Mazzello, you get everything you want.”

Today was his third callback for the part, a co-starring role of the protagonist’s best friend in a romantic comedy directed by Richard Curtis. And while you are firmly of the belief that Joe is more than worthy of lead roles—especially in romantic comedies, a genre in which he has been criminally underutilized—you know he’s thrilled to have landed it. Rebel Wilson, Colin Firth, and Zendaya are involved in the project as well, and filming will take place mostly in the gorgeous island paradise of Turks and Caicos. Which means that Joe will soon be jetting off to the Caribbean for months on end, leaving you here in Los Angeles to tend your bakery and catch up on your reading list and snuggle with the cats and try not to grow bitter about the fact that most people don’t have to give up their significant others for vast, volatile stretches of the year, most people don’t constantly feel like they’re battling to keep a surfboard level over waves of impermanence. And that’s what you’re really trying to do tonight: not just celebrate Joe’s accomplishments, not just make him happy, but to make sure he doesn’t notice the sadness around your eyes, the mournful slump in the set of your shoulders.

But as he sits down at the table and cuts two messy, hulking slices of cannoli cake and gives you the bigger one, Joe does notice something. His dark eyes catch on you and narrow. His brow furrows in concern. “What’s up, firefly?”

“Nothing,” you reply, slipping into the chair beside him, running your fingers through his hair and forcing a smile. “I’m so proud of you, Joe. And I know you’ll love it. I just...you know.” You take an unenthusiastic bite of cake and shrug, apologetic, feeling childish and selfish and ridiculous. “I’ll miss you.”

“Aww, I know, firefly. I’ll miss you too. But we’ll talk all the time, we’ll text and call and I’ll comment heart-eyes emojis on all your Instagram posts, and you can take a few long weekends to come visit me...and we can FaceTime so I can say hi to the cats and our beloved apartment!”

“Our apartment,” you murmur; because it doesn’t feel much like both of yours. You’ve only shared it for three months, and Joe has easily been out of town for two of them. And although you have no right at all to be disenchanted with an arrangement that you knowingly signed up for, you can’t help but fear that it all has an inescapable aura of transience, that one day Joe won’t come back home at all, and that the apartment won’t even feel that different without him in it; like he’s a comet that comes with the decades, a passing marvel that you can see but never own.

Joe reaches out and takes your free hand, the one not holding your fork. “Hey,” he says softly. “I know. Believe me, I know.”

“I’m not mad, I’m really not, I want you to have this. I know it’s what brings you happiness, I know it’s what you’re brilliant at, I just...I guess I just wish this all felt a little more permanent.”

That seems to surprise him. “What, like, you and me being permanent?”

“Yeah.” You take another bite of cannoli cake. It’s good. It’s really freaking good, actually. Joe’s massive slice is gone already; he cuts another, peering uncertainly over at you. He still doesn’t appear to get it. “What I mean is that I feel like you’re never here long enough for the apartment to start feeling like ours. You’re more like a guest. Petunia and Iris might think you’re just my hot friend who occasionally sleeps over and takes bubble baths with me.”

“I don’t think cats have a particularly deep understanding of commitment anyway.”

You laugh, mostly to break the gravity. This is the precise opposite of how you wanted this night to go. “Never mind, I’m being dumb. Forget it.” You smile again, as convincingly as you can. The scent of lasagna now fills the small kitchen; the orange-pink light of the sunset pours in through the open windows. “Enjoy Turks and Caicos. Make a hilarious movie. Slurp down your weight in daiquiris served in coconut shells. And try not to get too sunburned, I want to be able to touch you when I fly down to visit. We don’t need a repeat of Miami, lobster boy.”

Joe sets down his fork, crosses his arms over his chest, and grins at you thoughtfully, craftily.

“Uh oh. What?”

“Well, you see, it’s interesting that you brought up this whole permanence thing.”

You shake your head. “Joe, really, I don’t want to make tonight about me. I just want to celebrate. Can we do that?”

“Oh, we’re still celebrating, firefly. But I have one more thing to tell you about.”

“It better not be another cat. That’s really not the solution to this problem. Is it another cat? Jesus christ, if your mother is trying to get us to adopt another one of her rescue cats, I’m going to fucking scream—”

“It’s not a cat.”

“Then what is it?”

“Well,” Joe begins, grinning broadly now. “I guess it’s less of something I have to tell you and more of something I have to ask you.”

“...Ask me...what...?”

His hand slides into the pocket of his Hawaiian cargo shorts—not his best look, if you’re being totally honest about it—where for the first time you notice the faint outline of a tiny square. He takes out the ring box and sets it down between you on the table. Your fork tumbles out of your grasp and hits the floor, splattering frosting and cake crumbs. An ecstatic gasp rips from between your teeth. Your hands fly up to cover your mouth.

“No way...”

“Yes way.” Joe gestures to the box. “I don’t know what continent I’m going to be on six months from now. I don’t know how often I’ll find myself home in our apartment. I don’t know how great of a cat dad I am. But I know that I want you with me every step of the way. So, if you’re down to make this thing permanent, and to bake me cannoli cakes for the remainder of my earthly existence, I’d like for you to marry me. I’d love for you to marry me, actually. And if you need some time to think it over before giving me an answer, I completely understand—”

You rush out of your chair and into his shocked but welcoming arms, almost knocking him out of his seat as you climb into his lap, laughing, crying, kissing him as tears stream down your cheeks. “I don’t need time. I’m saying yes. Right here, right now, Mr. Mazzello.”

“You don’t even want to see the ring first?” he teases.

“Nope. I’m in no matter what it looks like. I swear on our neglected feline daughters’ lives.”

“Oh thank god, because my bank account is super sparse until this new gig starts paying and it’s a literal Ring Pop.”

Joe’s joking, of course; he’s joking almost all the time, which is one of the innumerable things you love about him. But you really don’t care what the ring looks like. You care about what it means, about the promise it holds, about the peace it gives you to carry around like armor against all the uncertainties of the world.

And Joe whispers, beaming: “Now, future Mrs. Mazzello, I really do have everything I want.”

#sleepover event!#joe mazzelo x reader #joe mazzello imagine

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coyotesongwriting · 4 years

Text

Confessions - Ch. 1

Chapter 1 - Vegas

Story Summary: You’ve never been able to deny Nat anything, so when she asks if you can take the long way back from your mission in Los Angeles you agree. The problem is, you’re hopelessly in love with her and she has no idea. How are you going to survive a week alone in a car with her?

Word Count: 2883

Author’s Note: I needed a cute happy fic with no real angst and I feel like Nat deserved it

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters so don’t sue me please. I just really like them haha

“Pleaseeee [Y/N]!”

With a groan you threw yourself back on the motel bed, trying desperately to zone out Nat. Ever since you’d found your way back to the cheap motel you’d been staying in for the last week, she’d been begging you almost non-stop to take a road trip back to the tower.

“Nat, no. You know we have to get back” you buried your face in the pillow as she collapsed onto the bed next to you.

“Please? My birthday’s this weekend and it would be so perfect.”

You picked your head up from the pillow and raised one eyebrow, “I seem to remember we had a party and all of that for your birthday about four months ago.”

“Yeah, alright. But, I have an idea. If I can get both Fury and Steve to give us the time off, then can we?” her voice was pleading as she shot you her best puppy dog eyes.

You never could say no to her, but when she gave you that look you knew you were done for. Normally you’d have jumped at the chance to spend some time alone with her in a car, no one looking over your shoulder, no mission hanging over your head. Lately though, you’d come to realize that your crush on Nat wasn’t just a crush. Nope, you were head over heels for her, and you hadn’t even realized until Clint of all people pointed it out to you just a few days ago.

“Fine. If they both agree, then we can drive back, okay?” you sighed dramatically, focusing on the fact they would likely shoot her down and you’d be off the hook.

~~~~~

The next morning you were woken by a very excited Nat, they had approved your time off and today you’d get to start your road trip home instead of taking the flight back you’d been expecting. You hadn’t really believed she’d be able to get permission with all of the new problems Hydra had been causing, so the reality of the situation hadn’t hit you until the two of you were climbing into the Subaru Crosstrek she’d rented. You were going to be alone, in a car, with the woman you’d just realized you loved, for a week. It was hard enough hiding your feelings from her on a daily basis, but now you’d be together nonstop.

Nat’s excitement was infectious and you hadn’t been on the road for twenty minutes before you were singing along with her to whatever was on the radio. As you sang along, you tried to convince yourself that just because you now knew you were in love with her it didn’t mean anything had to change. Above all, the two of you were really close friends and you wouldn’t risk losing that or her by speaking up unless you knew she felt otherwise.

It wasn’t until you’d been driving through the desert for an hour that you realized you had no idea where you were even going. When you turned to ask her, the question faded from your lips at the sight of her. She drove with the window down, the warm desert air rustling the hairs that had slipped from the messy bun she’d put her hair up in. You were too distracted by the way the sunlight seemed to dance across her to notice when she glanced over at you.

“You okay over there?” she asked, a playful smile lighting up her face as she kept her eyes on the road.

“Yeah, uh, sorry. I was just realizing I don’t actually know where we’re going right now?” you laughed.

“Vegas. What better way to kick off our trip than a little bit of debauchery,” she smirked, glancing away from the road just long enough to wink at you.

“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

The drive passed quickly, miles seeming to fly by in the blink of an eye. You took turns playing songs - well, technically you played all the songs but Nat was telling you what to play on her turns and at one point you basically made a competition to see who could come up with the best new lyrics. You both refused to admit defeat, claiming you’d been the winner. You’d eventually had to change the subject to keep the peace.

Before you even knew it, you could see Vegas in the distance. In the daylight, the city looked like a completely different place than you were used to seeing. You’d passed through Vegas quite a few times on missions with the team, but you’d never been able to come solely to have fun and you were excited to see what the city had to offer when you weren’t working undercover.

You studied the people on the sidewalks as you drove down the strip, “So, how thought out is this trip?”

“What do you mean?” Nat asked curiously.

“Well, I mean you knew you wanted to come here first. Do you have destinations in mind for every night? Hotels?” you’d always been a bit of a planner, it’s what made you good at your job, but that meant the idea of not having a set plan slightly stressed you out.

“Oh I have a plan, but it’s a secret,” she explained as she pulled into the valet parking area of the Bellagio, “You’ll just have to trust me.”

“I always trust you, Nat”

“Well, that’s not true. Remember the time in - “

“Shut up! That was one time” you laughed, throwing a chip at her before you climbed out of the car.

Inside, Nat checked you into a hotel room she’d apparently had time to book at some point while you looked around. In the years since joining the Avengers, you’d gotten used to spending time in fancy places but you never forgot the tiny midwest town you’d grown up in.

During the ride up to the hotel room, you turned to Nat, “Let me know how much I owe you so we can split everything.”

Nat merely smirked and held up a black credit card, “Don’t worry about it. Tony’s got us covered.”

“Does Tony know he's footing the bill?”

“Not yet.”

Nat had booked a room with two queen-sized beds overlooking the fountain, and you claimed the bed closest to the window. The air conditioner was closer to that side of the room and Nat wasn’t a big fan of the air blowing on her while she slept. It was a routine you’d fallen into years ago on your first solo mission with her. In less than a month you’d stayed in 12 different rooms, so the two of you were more than comfortable in a hotel room by now.

As soon as your bags were put away, Nat led you from the room. Your first stop was the hotel bar where your drinking began. Whenever you tried to ask her what the plan was or where to next, she merely ignored you. By the time you finished your first drink, you’d given up and accepted your fate.

For an hour and a half, you drank in the bar, trading stories of missions you’d shared with the others, tales of life before the Avengers, anything and everything that came to mind. There was never a dull moment, no awkward silences as you spoke. After your third drink, Nat looked down at her watch and paid the bill.

“Come on, it’s time for the next activity. We have a schedule to keep to.” Before you could protest or even question her, you were being pulled out. You’d tried to protest when you ended up in a trendy boutique.

“I have clothes. I don’t need anything, and this place looks insanely expensive.”

“Come on [Y/N]. You expect me to believe that when you packed for a mission in the desert, you packed for Vegas nightlife? Besides, Tony’s paying, remember?”

“Nat -” she cut you off with a raise of her hand before you could even get started.

“Just try some stuff on, okay? Give it a try” her voice was a half step above a plea and you sighed before giving in.

It took almost two hours for you both to find the perfect outfit. When Nat had stepped out of the fitting room in a skin-tight little black dress you’d forgotten how to speak for a moment. The neckline accented her curves perfectly, but what really got you was the dip of the back. It came to a stop only an inch or two above her butt. When she turned in a slow circle in front of you, you suddenly found the idea of not crossing the line and telling her how you feel very difficult.

You’d stammered out a compliment and when she went to find the perfect necklace to pair with the dress, you’d shot Clint a quick text.

‘I think she’s trying to kill me’

It took a long moment before he responded

‘If she really was trying, you’d be dead.’

After you picked out the perfect outfit and you had both paid using Tony’s credit card, you made your way back to the hotel room.

“Be ready to leave in an hour and a half, okay?” she warned you as she headed towards the shower.

“Do I get to know where we’re going yet?”

“Nope.”

“Then how can I truly get ready.”

“Just shut up and get ready for a night out” Nat laughed, throwing a washcloth at you as she shut the bathroom door.

Exactly an hour and a half later, the two of you were climbing into a taxi out front. Apparently, the first stop of the night was going to be dinner at EDO Gastro Tapas & Wine. It was a quick drive to Chinatown and when you strolled in, you were greeted by a gorgeous mural on the back wall. You weren't sure when she had the time, but Nat had made reservations at some point as when you walked in, you were immediately seated.

“When did you even have time to make all these plans?!” you chuckled as you took a seat across from her.

“Do you even know how long I’ve been planning this trip?” Nat smirked, as she took a sip of water.

“No, no I guess I don’t” you laughed, “So how long?”

“Longer than I care to admit” she winked.

The conversation flowed smoothly and before long you’d ordered drinks and their 10-course tasting menu. You both had tears in your eyes from laughing so hard about Clint’s latest prank on Sam by the time the first course arrived.

“I love the idea of making Tony foot the bill for our trip, but I do feel a little bad” you admitted over the third course.

“Would it make you feel any better if I told you that Pepper’s the one who told me to use the card and has made all the reservations?”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I mean, I knew where I wanted to go but she’s the one who made all the calls and all that.”

“We gotta make sure we get her a really good souvenir then.”

Nat raised an eyebrow playfully, “We’re going to use her money to get her a ‘really good souvenir’?”

“Shut up” you chuckled, “When you put it that way it sounds really bad.”

“Just pointing out the truth!”

Dinner flew by, and you had to fight so many times to not reach out and take her hand. Her laughter was infectious, and as she spoke you hung on every word. After you paid for dinner, using Tony’s card, of course, Nat called another taxi and away you went to your next destination.

Your next stop was a show called Absinthe at Caesars Palace. The crowd was a fascinating mix of people, and as you walked in you studied the performers. As you walked in, you saw women dressed as burlesque dancers, men in traditional circus outfits, and a variety of people in revealing clothing.

“I have to ask, what in the world are we doing here?”

Nat turned to you, her face lit up in a smile. “Okay, so I found out about this show in the New York Times. They said ‘Imagine Cirque du Soleil as channeled through The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ and I’ve always wanted to go but I never got the chance.”

Nat’s hand found it’s way into yours and she pulled you along, dragging you to the front row seats. Your heart stopped when her fingers linked with yours and you felt your pulse began to race. It was different this time, her touch. It was different than her touch when you were in the field. There, every move every brush of fingers was calculated. Now it was a spur of the moment, her touching you because it was she wanted, not because she had to. It wasn’t just a job, not this time.

When you sat and her fingers slipped from yours, you felt immediately like the loss of the sun. Your hand started to follow hers like a flower chasing the sun, but you caught yourself right before they caught up. When you sat though, you sat together, close enough in your seats that your thighs brushed one another.

The show was fantastic. Many times you found yourself almost doubled over in laughter with Nat, other times gasping when it looked like someone was going to fall and get hurt. All too soon, it was over and you were climbing out of your seats. For 90 minutes, you’d been in constant contact with Nat so when you stood, you couldn’t help but mourn the contact at first.

You didn’t even get the chance to ask where to next before Nat pulled you deeper into Cesar’s Palace. As you went along, you guys talked all about the show and shared your favorite parts. The way her eyes lit up when she spoke left a smile on your face you couldn’t help but love.

As she led you through the doors of Omnia Nightclub, Nat turned to you “Okay, we have to be back to the room by 3am okay? We need to be on the road by 9 - it’s a 7-hour drive.”

“3am, Nat?! A 7-hour drive after this? Are you insane?” you laughed, weaving your way through the crowd to the bar.

“I never said this road trip would be boring, did I. No, we have a lot to do and only 10 days to do it!”

Three drinks later you were both on the dance floor, pressed together by the swirling crowd. Over the thump of the music and low hum of the crowd, you heard a woman call out for someone to stay away from her.

When you turned, you found a woman being hassled by a nearby man. Apparently, he wasn’t taking no for an answer, and he had his hand wrapped around her upper arm. She tried to pull away from him but his hand didn’t let go. Nat and you immediately began to work your way over to her, and when Nat grabbed the man’s shoulder and forced him to let her go, you led the woman away from him.

While you helped her find her friends in the crowded room, Nat made sure the man wouldn’t be an issue again after kneeing him in the groin and removing him from the club. You didn’t see the full extent of his injuries but as he left, he cradled his hand in his other and you could tell from the look on his face he was in quite a lot of pain. When the woman reassured you that she was okay and thanked you for your guys’ help, you headed towards the bar, Nat following you.

“She okay?” Nat asked, sliding into place by your side and ordering a drink.

“Yeah, she’s fine. She said she’s gonna be okay, she’s back with her friends now,” you ordered water, sobered up after the incident.

By the time you left the club an hour later, Nat had had a few more drinks and was slightly drunk. Nat nestled into your side as you walked, and your arm draped over her shoulder, holding her tight to you. She rambled as you made your way back to the hotel room, and you listened as she told you all about how Clint had messed up the last mission they’d gone on together.

When you got back to the hotel room, Nat stumbled into her pajamas and brushed her teeth while you stepped into the bathroom. The smell of Vegas clung to you, and you wanted nothing more than to wash the smoke scent from your hair and skin.

As you collapsed into your bed, you turned to see Nat passed out on hers. Her hair was spread out around her and she curled up into a ball, half asleep. With a low groan, you got to your feet and tucked her under the covers. When you crawled back into bed your mind just kept wandering back to what the rest of the trip was going to bring. How were you going to survive this without telling her how you felt?

~~~~~

Next Chapter -> (releases 7/22/20)

Taglist OPEN: @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @queenoftheunderdark @redfoxwritesstuff @brokenthelovely @collinsstanharbour

#natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff/reader #Marvel's The Avengers #marvels the avengers #Marvel The Avengers #Marvel's Avengers #marvel #happy #cute #Avengers #The Avengers #black widow/reader #Black Widow

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atlafan · 4 years

Text

Take it Slow - Part Eighty-Nine

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

You floated through the halls at work the next day. No, not because of the wonderful 3AM sex you had with Harry last night. It was because this Saturday would be one year since your first date, the date that the two of you were choosing to be your anniversary, instead of when you made things official in October.

“What do you two have planned this weekend?” Niall asks you at lunch. Buster was with Harry today.

“We’re going to a spa for massages and to get our nails done.” You swoon. “And I think we’re going to the tapas place.”

“That’ll be great!”

“I still can’t believe it’s been almost a year since you convinced me to go out with a complete stranger.”

“I know! I spent so much time talkin’ him up to yeh, and you never showed any interest. No choice but to be blunt.”

“Alright, you talk about this girl all the time. You’ve talked about her for almost two bloody years! Ask her the fuck out already!” Harry slurs over drinks with Niall at their favorite bar.

“S’not like that, mate. Don’t want her in that way. She’s just my good friend…although…I think maybe she’d fancy you.”

“Lots of girls fancy me.” He smirks.

“You’re annoyin’.” Harry bursts out laughing.

“Okay, okay…why do you think she’d fancy me?”

“I don’t know exactly, you just seem like her type.” He shrugs. “I can’t really explain it, Harr, I could just see it.”

“Will yeh finally show me a picture of her? I’m not doin’ another blind date.”

“Alright, fine, why not?” Niall took his phone out to show Harry some pictures of you. “Here’s a selfie we took when we went out to the beach a week or so ago.” Niall handed Harry his phone.

Harry’s eyes popped out of his head. You were smiling big, and you could really see your freckles. Your arm was around Niall’s shoulders and you could just see the cleavage from your bathing suit top.

“Holy shit…” Harry looks back up at Niall. “And you’ve seriously never hooked up with her?”

“Nope. She’s literally just my friend.”

“Her smile is…beautiful.” He looks back down at the photo and smiles. “Do you have one of just her?”

“Let me look on her Facebook.” Niall takes his phone back. “Oh! Here’s one from our company party a few months ago.” He hands him back his phone.

You were wearing a strapless blue dress with your hair in a nice bun. Yup, he thought you were breathtaking.

“Tell me again, why have you never brought her around?”

“She’s been at my holiday party the last two years…you just never noticed.”

“Or you just never introduced us.”

“You still just sort of hook up with girls, I didn’t wanna bring up you two meeting until I knew you were sort of over that…you seem like you are, so…” He takes a sip of his drink. “I’m sort of protective of her too…”

“I get it, I know I can be an asshole.” He smirks. “I swear I’m over all that…” He scrolls past some other photos. “When was this?”

“Oh! Her best friend got married, she didn’t wanna go stag, so she asked me to go with her. It was a lot of fun.”

“She’s so…pretty.”

“Yeah. Plus it doesn’t hurt that she has a nice personality too. She’s really smart, funny, all things you’d want…she’s an incredible friend. She’d drop anything to help, and half the time you don’t even have to ask.”

“Alright, can I have her number?” Harry starts to scroll through Niall’s contacts, but Niall snatches his phone back.

“I can’t just give some random dude her number.”

“But I’m not just some random dude.”

“To me…but to her…look, I haven’t even talked about you to her…let me see if she’d be into it, okay?”

“Sure, but I’m gonna keep buggin’ yeh until you make it happen.” He smirks.

****

You and Niall were hanging out at his place, getting ready to watch Bachelor in Paradise. He hands you a bowl of popcorn, and you snuggle up next to him.

“So, who do you think is going to hook up tonight, I think-“

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“When was the last time you went on a real date?” Your face falls. That was sort of a loaded question. “Was it…Jake?”

“I’ve been out a few times, but obviously no second dates. Why?” Your eyes grow wide and you inch away from him. “Wait, you’re not like asking me out are you?”

“What?! No!” He laughs. “Not that, that would be funny, I bet you’re super fun to date.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I just mean, we’re friends, and I like being just friends.”

“Me too.”

“Okay.”

“Anyways, have I ever mentioned my mate Harry to you?”

“Maybe a few times. I know you hung out with him over the weekend.”

“Yeah! We had drinks for the first time in a while.”

“Cool.”

“So…he’s a really great guy. I think you’d like him. He’s single, and so are you-“

“No.”

“Come on, Y/N.”

“I don’t wanna do a blind date. My parents met on a blind date, and look at how well that worked out.” Niall can’t help but laugh.

“Harry is nothin’ like your dad. He’s really nice, a true sweetheart.”

“I don’t know…”

“Well, he said he’d go out with you.”

“He did?!”

“I talk about you enough.” He blushes. “He said he was interested.”

“I’ll have to think about it…is that okay?”

“Sure.” He shrugs and throws an arm around you.

***

Over the next several weeks, Niall kept dropping hints that Harry wanted to meet you. Harry couldn’t stop thinking about you, and he hadn’t even met you yet. He really wanted to get to know the beautiful girl that was in his friend’s life.

“Niall,” You sigh. “Why are you bringing up Harry all of a sudden? I mean, I’ve known you for almost two years.”

“Well, after your last break up, I honestly didn’t think you’d ever want to look at another man.” He shyly told you in the break room one day.

“Will you at least show me a picture of him?”

“Nope, want this to be a true blind date.”

“You’re annoying.”

“I’ll set everything up for the both of ya, and if it goes well then you can both take it from there.”

“That’s if I even agree.”

***

“Ask her if she’s free this Saturday.” Harry says to Niall on Tuesday night as they play video games. “I feel like she’s gettin’ closer to sayin’ yes.”

“What exactly do you want to do with her?”

“I’d just like to take her to a nice dinner.” He shrugs. “Think she’d like that?”

“She’d love it!”

“Figured that would be a chill way to meet, you know?”

“Yeah, takes a little of the pressure off.”

“I’ll ask her at work tomorrow.”

***

“What are you doing this Saturday night?” He asked you Wednesday morning, handing you a coffee. You each took turns buying coffee for the other. Today was his turn.

“Um, I think I was just going to binge watch something on Netflix. Why?”

“Harry was wondering if you’d be interested in dinner.”

“Oh he was?” You raise an eyebrow, and take a sip of your coffee.

“Yes, well I nudged him a little, but I’ve told him a lot about you and he’s very interested.” You blush at the thought.

“Well, I’m definitely free for dinner. Where was he thinking?”

“Well, obviously I’m glad I agreed.” You giggle.

“Didja get him anythin’ or is the spa day part if it?”

“It’s our gift to each other. He’s spent so much on me for my birthday, so I told him I didn’t want anything else. Was he always like that? So extravagant?”

“Not really.” Niall tries to think about it. “I mean, he loves surprisin’ people…and he really likes makin’ people smile. Never seen him do it all for a girlfriend before.” Niall takes a sip of his water. “Y/N, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to put a smile on your face. I feel like I’ve been sayin’ this from the beginning, but I’ve never seen him like this before. You’ve really changed his entire life, all for the better.”

“He’s changed mine too. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to be this happy.”

Saturday morning you woke up far too excited for the day ahead, but you couldn’t help it. This was the longest relationship you had ever been in. An entire year with the perfect guy. You look at him, he looks so peaceful while he sleeps. You shift to straddle him and you kiss him all over his face. He smiles without opening his eyes. His hands move up to grip your hips.

“Good morning.” You coo.

“Mornin’, angel.”

“Wanna see the video I made you? Well, for us, but it’s mostly for you.”

“I’d love to.” His eyes flutter open.

“If you’re still too tired we can wait…”

“Nope, wanna see it now.”

He sits up and you grab your phone. He throws his arm around you and you pull the video up.

“I haven’t posted this anywhere yet, it’s just for the two of us…”

“Alright.” He kisses your temple.

You hit play, and You’ve Made Me So Very Happy by Blood Sweat & Tears starts playing in the background. Harry tries to play it cool, but he was internally screaming. You pause it quick.

“I feel like this is sort of our song…we listened to it on the way up to get Buster. We both really liked it…”

“It’s great, it’s, uh, definitely our song.” He smiles and taps play again.

Throughout the song there’s pictures and videos of the two of you over the last year. There were so many good memories. You both giggled at some of the things, especially the pictures from Halloween. When it ends, you look up at Harry whose eyes are glossy.

“That was…really somethin’.” He chuckles and wipes his eyes. “You’re really good at making those.” He cups your cheek. “Happy one year.”

“Happy one year.” You lean up and kiss him. “I couldn’t wait to show you, I’ve been putting it together for awhile. I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Can we watch it again?”

“Mhm.” You beam at him as happy tears come to your eyes. “I’m gonna go make us a big breakfast. I got that vegan bacon we both like.” You kiss him quick and get out of bed.

You throw on one of his t-shirts, and a clean pair of his boxers, and head out to the kitchen. Buster yips at you, and you throw your sneakers on to take him out quick. Harry gets up and finds you in the kitchen making his favorite banana pancakes.

“You know, this day is for the both of us, not just me.” He chuckles.

“I know, but I wanted to do this for you, and we haven’t made this for breakfast in forever.” You flip a pancake over.

Harry grabs the pure maple syrup from the fridge and sets it on the counter. He looks you up down. He wasn’t sure what it was about you wearing his boxers that always turned him on so much. Maybe it was the way they sort of bunched up around the tops of your thighs so he could really see the curve of your ass. He opens the syrup bottle and dips his finger in to have a taste. He loved real maple syrup.

“Give me some.” You open your mouth and smirks as he puts more on his finger. You suck the syrup off. “Mm, that’s so good.”

“You know where I’d really like to put this?”

“All over your pancakes?” You put the last pancake on the plate and turn the burner off.

“No…well, yes eventually, but not right this second.”

“But they’ll get cold…”

Harry sighs and turns the ‘Keep Warm’ burner on, and sticks the plate on top of it, along with the bacon.

“Take your shirt off.”

“What?”

“Actually, that’s my shirt, so take it off.”

You swallow hard and take the shirt off, resting it on the island. Harry grins and grabs the bottle of syrup. Your nipples were already pebbled from the cool air in the room. He dips his finger back into the syrup and spreads it onto both of your nipples.

“Now I’m all sticky.” You pout playfully.

“Let’s see how we can fix that, hm?”

Harry lifts you up onto the island, and he stands between your legs. His lips wrap around one of your nipples and sucks on it. Your breath hitches as you hear him moan.

“Mm, so sweet.” He mumbles as he moves to the other one. He sucks it off with a pop and look at you. “Let’s make a mess.”

“What do you mean?” You giggle.

“I mean, I’m going to get this all over you and lay you down on the island, and then I’m gonna fuck you.”

“Oh.” You nod. “Alright then.”

You and Harry end up on the floor in the kitchen, naked, covered in sticky syrup, and giggling. You had brought the pancakes and bacon down to the floor with you.

“Mm, you did a great job with these.” Harry says, biting into the pancake.

“You certainly worked up quite the appetite.” You feed him a piece of bacon and he nips at the pad of your thumb.

“What time do we need to be at the spa?”

“At eleven, we’re getting massages first, and then our nails.” He hums his response.

“What time is it now?”

“Around nine.”

“Jesus, why did we get up so early?” He chuckles.

“Because we just couldn’t wait to love on each other.” You both giggle.

Buster comes over and you both have to sit up so he doesn’t lick at any extra syrup on either of you.

“This really was a good breakfast, thank you.” He gives you a bacon filled kiss, and stands up. He reaches his hand out and helps you up. “Come on, we need to shower before getting over there.”

“Oh, you didn’t want oil all mixed up with sticky syrup?” You ask sarcastically.

“Don’t think that’s the move.” He chuckles.

You both get into the shower, and wash each other up. You throw some leggings and a tank top on, and Harry gets dressed in some shorts and a t-shirt.

“Be a good boy Buster. Mummy and Daddy will be back later.” You say to him, and out the two of you go.

You and Harry check in to the spa and wait to be called in. You’re given robes and slippers. You get called in and you both are given a minute to undress.

“Shit…”

“What?”

“I really fucked up your back this morning.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry…you would think after all this time I would’ve learned to-“

“It’s fine, babe. I’m sure they’ve seen stuff like this before.”

You give him a reassuring smile and get under the blanket on the massage table. It was so relaxing, and something you both really needed. You had both talked about getting massages again pretty much right after you had gotten them the first time. When it’s done you both sit in a light room and wait to be called in for your pedicures.

“You enjoyed it?” He asks you.

“Mhm, it was wonderful.”

“I wanna give you a massage like that sometime.”

“Maybe I wanna give you one.”

“We could take turns.”

“Deal.” You lean on his shoulder.

“Would love to get you all oiled up like that, bur completely naked.”

“Oh, Harry.” You nudge him.

You get called in for your pedicures. You loved doing these things with him. It was so special and intimate. He held your hand the whole time, and you end up choosing the same color for your toes. It was a nice pastel pink that you both loved.

For your manicure, you go for a nice blue with a silver-glittery accent nail on your ring fingers. You made sure to get the shellac so it would last longer. Harry got a light yellow.

“Let’s make an appointment for you and your Nan for when she comes.” He says as you’re both paying.

“Oh, she’d like that. And two weeks from now would be a good time to get these redone, especially my toes.”

You make an appointment for the Friday evening she would be getting there. You figure after work it would be nice to get your nails done and go to dinner with her. Harry would be picking her up from the airport.

Harry knew how important it was to a lot of girls to make sure they had their nails done after they were engaged so when they posted pictures of the rings, everything would look nice. He didn’t know if you’d care that much, but he thought it would be nice for you to have fresh polish on for when it happens.

You pull your little black dress out that you wore on your first date after you’ve done your hair and makeup.

“Harry!”

He was out in the living room waiting for you. He looked so handsome. He had a blue silk shirt on with some tan slacks. He goes into the bedroom and he stops short.

“Need some help zipping this up.” You look over your shoulder at him smile.

He grins and comes in to zip it up. He lingers for a moment. He knew this dress all too well. You turn around to look at him and he wraps his arms around you.

“You look so beautiful.”

“Thanks, so do you.” You smile and kiss him.

“I fed Buster and took him out, so he should be good to go.”

“Alright, let’s hit it.”

You get to the tapas place and are seated after giving your reservation name. This time around you split some chickpea fries, cauliflower fritters, and a couple of other small items. You also each order a seltzer with a lime.

“A whole year.” You say as you clink your glass with his.

“Best year of my life, honestly.”

“Mine too.” He holds your hand across the table and squeezes it.

All of your food gets brought over, and you dig in. It’s delicious, you two really need to come here more often.

“Can I ask, what made you wanna bring me here for our first date?”

“I just thought it was a nice, yet chill place. Thought it would be a little more intimate sharin’ dishes. It would give us somethin’ to talk about in case things were…awkward at first.” He smirks.

“Could you imagine if we literally had nothing to talk about other than food?” You laugh. “So boring.”

“I’m very glad you had a personality.” He laughs too. “I remember I was excited to finally be meetin’ yeh. When Niall finally told me you said yes, I was thrilled. I needed to meet the pretty girl from the photos I was shown.”

“Ahh, so it was all about looks for you.” You smirk.

“And Niall told me about how great you were. Needed to see it for myself, really.”

The waiter brings over a small cake made for two people, and a single candle in it. You both blow it out at the same time.

“Mm, I love lemon.” You say as you bite into it.

“I know.” He smiles. “Think it’s one of the few sweets we agree on.”

“Would you kill me if I got you somethin’?” Harry asks as you drive home.

“Harry…”

“I just couldn’t help myself…I saw this perfume at the mall and thought you might like it.” He lists the center console and grabs a small box from it. “Here, see if you like it.”

“You always do this.” You smile. “And because I knew you would, I got you a little something too.” You open the box and give it a smell. “Oh! Apples.”

“It reminded me of your shampoo a bit.”

“Mm, definitely.” You lean across and kiss him on the cheek. “I love it, thank you.” You spritz some onto your wrists and rub them together. You reach into your purse and pull out a card. “You’ll want to make sure the car is parked.”

He nods and gets the both of you home. He turns the car off and taps the light so it’s bright enough for him to see. He takes the card from you. His jaw drops when two tickets slide out.

“How…when…are you serious?!” He was in complete and udder shock.

“You’ll need to close the studio for the time you’re away. And before you say anything, I’m not the one going with you.”

“Who else would I go see the Packers with?”

“Louis.”

“What?”

“I spoke with him about all this, he thinks it would be great for the two of you.”

“I can’t believe you got me tickets to see a real Packers game! I mean, I’ve only been able to see them on TV….” He smiles and then furrows his brows at you. “This is way more expensive than-“

“And I got you a plane ticket already. You’ll need to pack extra warm. That game is at the beginning of November, and it’ll be even colder in Wisconsin.”

“Y/N.”

“You got me practically front row seats to see one of my favorite artists for my birthday, and then proceeded to buy my grandmother a round-trip ticket for her to come up here. The game tickets themselves weren’t that expensive, especially since I got them so early. And I got a pretty decent fare for the flight.”

“But…this isn’t something we can even do together, I mean-“

“Harry.” You put your hand on his shoulder. “Happy anniversary.”

“Thank you.”

He opens up the glove compartment and sticks the card inside for safe keeping.

“I can’t believe…I mean…this is one of the most thoughtful things anyone’s ever done for me.” He smiles.

“I’d do anything to see that smile on your face.”

You both get out of the car, and head upstairs. Buster yips at the two of you.

“I know, we weren’t home a lot today, baby, I’m sorry.”

You both rub his belly before sending him off to his bed. Harry gets his hands on you and unzips your dress. You giggle as it falls to the floor. You unbutton the few buttons he actually used on the shirt and push it off his shoulders.

He cups your cheeks and kisses you. He swipes his tongue over your bottom lip, and you open up for him. He needed to taste you. Your tongue molds to his. You undo his pants and he steps out of them. He walks you back to the bed and you both fall onto it.

“God, I can’t wait to fuck you.” He says against your lips and you smile.

“You fucked me twice this morning.”

“Wasn’t enough.”

He kisses on your neck and dips his hand inside your panties. He runs his fingers up and down your slit to get you wet. You reach behind yourself to unhook your bra. He tugs it away for you. He leaves wet kisses between your two breasts.

“Paying a lot of attention to the girls today.” You giggle.

“The girls?” He laughs.

“The girls, the twins…a lot of people refer to their boobs like that.”

“Well, that’s just what I’ll call ‘em from now on. I can come home from work and ask how my girls are.”

He starts kneading both of them and you moan softly. He tweaks your nipple piercings and you let out a louder groan. He tugs your panties all the way off you and opens your legs up. Two of his fingers slip inside while he sucks on your clit. Your head rolls back against the pillow as your hips buck up towards him. He was knuckles deep and making the come here motion over and over.

“Just like that babe, so good.” You moan.

He sucks on your clit harder while he pumps in and out of you. You grip his hair causing him to groan against against you. Your legs start shaking and he uses his other hand to keep them open. You release on his fingers, and he sucks them into his mouth after he retracts them.

“Wanna ride you.”

“Yeah? Wanna bounce up and down on my dick?”

“So bad.”

He sits up against the headboard and you straddle him. You line yourself up and sink down on him. His hands slide down to the globes of your ass and he starts to move you on him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and sink your nails into his skin. Your mouth finds his and his tongue slips into your mouth. You both had a great rhythm going. He loved when you would almost lift all the way off and slam back down on him while he thrusts up into you. He nips at your jaw, then to your neck, sucking where he pleases. One of your hand slides to his neck, and you wrap it around his throat lightly. He groans as you apply a little pressure.

You use your other hand to rub your clit as he continues to thrust up into you. You both were very close. His thrusts were getting sloppier. As your release comes you loosen your grip on his throat, and hide your face in the crook of his neck. Your teeth sink into his skin as he takes full control.

I can’t wait to have this for the rest of my life. He thinks to himself. That thought alone was enough to have his come shooting up inside you. You groan as you feel him fill you up. He rests his forehead against yours as you both catch your breaths. He cups your cheek with one his hands and kisses you.

“I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Harry. Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary.”

You hug for a few minutes and then you get off of him. You both go through your nightly routines.

“Harry…”

“Yeah?”

“What if Buster slept with us tonight? Just for tonight…we were barely with him all day, and-“

“Buster!” Harry calls for him and he comes trotting into the bedroom. “Wanna sleep with mummy and daddy tonight? Haven’t loved yeh enough today, have we?” He yips and jumps up on the bed.

You giggle and get into bed with Harry. Buster lays at the both of your feet and Harry throws an arm around you. You loved your life so much. You had no idea so much could change in a year, and you were incredibly grateful. This was the first relationship you ever had like this. Not only had you never lived with a guy before, but you had never been in a relationship this long. You were with the person you were supposed to be with, and you couldn’t happier. You wondered what the next year with Harry would hold.

#take it slow #harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles y/n #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic #fluff #smut #happy sunday!#sorry for the wait i got busy last night #enjoy!

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a-second-chance-su-au · 3 years

Text

Why I’ve Been Dead (long post warning)

So. I haven’t been posting anything for, like, 2-3 weeks, and y’all deserve an explination. Long(ish) post ahoy.

So, it’s been a mixture of a bunch of things. At first, art block hit me. I didn’t draw anything for a couple days because of this. Then, once art block started going away, school happened. Turns out, I was severely behind in both science and history (history less so). I spent an entire week getting caught up on science last week, plus Historical Tragedies when I can. I am caught up now (almost for HC, but that one I actually enjoy, so I’m not worried lol). End of the marking period is Friday (tomorrow for me), and I should have everything turned in by then.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, my brother had a medical emergency. I won’t go into detail, but I will say he could have potentially died because of it. So that was a stressor that went into my art block there at the beginning as well, and a bit before that too. He’s all better now, for the most part, so don’t worry about that. He’ll be okay. :)

I do all my schooling from home. In Michigan, all schools are currently online- only right now, but I’ve been like that the whole time. It usually only takes me 3 hours tops to do everything, but at the end of the marking period things get crazy. Hopefully all that is behind me, though! My art block is over, I’m (mostly) caught up in school, and things should be going back to normal!

Thanks for being patient with me. Expect a more constant flow of pages from now on.

Oh, and update: I am going to be uploading pages as I get them done onto Tapas from now on, since I didn’t realize you can update after posting. I had to do that today because I accidently forgot an entire page lol. So go subscribe on Tapas if you haven’t already! Both Tapas and Discord update as soon as I’m done instead of just Tuesdays/Fridays!

Okay, thanks for reading, y’all! And thanks again for being patient. Have a great rest of your day, and I’ll chat with you all soon. Bye!

#update #dimond speaks #long post #personal #dimonds456

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myonechicagoworld · 3 years

Text

CHICAGO FIRE – WARM AND DEAD (S01E13)

[elevator dings]

Renee Royce: Oh [laughs] Oh….

No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Kelly Severide: Come on.

Renee Royce: No! [chuckles]

Wow.

Renee Royce: Do you mind taking our picture?

Man 1: Sure.

[camera clicks]

Renee Royce: [laughs]

Kelly Severide: Apartment fire. Ten car pile up. Hand caught in a

machine.

Renee Royce: Okay, all right. In Madrid, it is going to be, um, tapas,

tapas, dance club, and, um, Catholic Church.

Kelly Severide: You think I can dance?

Renee Royce: Well, I can dance and you can just watch.

Kelly Severide: That I can do.

I’ve never done that before.

Renee Royce: Oh, yeah?

Kelly Severide: Yeah.

Renee Royce: Wow. Well then, I guess this is gonna be the first of

many new things then, huh?

Kelly Severide: Yeah.

Renee Royce: Yeah.

[kissing sound]

Kelly Severide: What is it?

Renee Royce: I met this doctor.

Kelly Severide: A doctor?

Renee Royce: Not like that. I just, um… Well I put out some feelers

to my medical contacts and, um, it turns out that

the Chief of Orthopedics over at River Forest

Hospital is… pioneering some kind of experimental

spinal surgery, and he wants to meet you.

Kelly Severide: Really?

Renee Royce: Yeah.

You know what? Maybe this will help you get to

Madrid even sooner. Hm.

[kissing sound]

cutscene

[phone rings]

Chief Boden: Chief Boden.

Ernie: Do you remember me?

Chief Boden: Ernie.

Ernie: Yeah.

Chief Boden: What’s going on? You okay?

Ernie: No.

Chief Boden: [sighs] Talk to me. Where are you?

Ernie.

[hangs up]

Chief Boden: Ernie.

[car door opens & shuts]

[engine revs off]

[dramatic music]

[siren blares]

[horn blasting]

[truck door shuts]

Christopher Herrmann: Hardware store. Not good.

Matt Casey: Cruz, Mills, vent the roof.

Joe Cruz: Hardware store’s got propane tanks, accelerants.

[explosion]

Matt Casey: Go, go, go!

[siren blares]

Chief Boden: (into radio) Dispatch be advised, Battalion 25’s on

scene.

Dispatcher: (over radio) Copy that, 25.

Matt Casey: Got one down.

[metal clangs]

Matt Casey: Herrmann, take his legs.

[overlapping chatter]

Gabby Dawson: No pulse.

Leslie Shay: Not breathing.

Engine Fireman: Fire’s out, Chief. Looks like another dumpster fire.

- title -

Gabby Dawson: What’s up?

Otis Zvonecek: The door’s jammed.

Christopher Herrmann: I told Chief we needed to grease this

puppy before the weather turned.

Mouch: And what, he ignored you?

Christopher Herrmann: No, he told me to do it, but I forgot.

I’ve been preoccupied.

Mouch: Weren’t you and Cindy using protection?

Christopher Herrmann: We’ve got four kids, Mouch. I was counting

on my sperm being too tired to make the

swim.

Leslie Shay: Well, I’m gonna head inside and check the levels on

the hot chocolate.

Gabby Dawson: Yeah, I’m gonna provide back-up.

Otis Zvonecek: You know, my grandmother had this garage door

that was always stuck 2 feet off the ground. So one

time I tell my brother Nick, I say, “go inside and

grab some butter.”

Peter Mills: What?

Christopher Herrmann: We got a rule. You tell a story that we’ve all

heard a million times, we raise our hand,

you gotta shut up, no questions asked.

Otis Zvonecek: That’s actually impolite and insulting.

Christopher Herrmann: Like that’s on us [laughs]

Peter Mills: I haven’t heard the story.

Joe Cruz: Mills, let’s go.

Otis Zvonecek: Where are you guys going?

Peter Mills: Oh, I asked Cruz to give me driving lessons.

Otis Zvonecek: I-I’m actually next in line to drive 81. You know

that.

Lieutenant?

Matt Casey: Not now, Otis.

Otis Zvonecek: [sighs]

Kid 1 (Roman): Hey, I… I got this dog here, if anyone wants it.

Mouch: Don’t even think about it. Had a dog over at 80 when I was

there. Still have the teeth marks in my ankle to prove it.

Kid 1 (Roman): My dad says he’s gonna throw it in the river if I don’t

get rid of it.

Peter Mills: I’ll take it, or at least I can find a home for it or

something.

[dog whimpers]

Kid 1 (Roman): He likes bacon.

Mouch: Well, there’s that.

Peter Mills: Does he have a name?

Gabby Dawson: Aw, dad, can we keep it? Huh, can we? Can we?

Can we?

Chief Boden: Keep what?

Leslie Shay: The dog.

Matt Casey: [chuckles softly]

[dog yipping]

Peter Mills: The kid’s dad was gonna drown it if we didn’t take it.

Chief Boden: He can’t stay.

I got a call at 67 over at Morningside. They need relief

for the next two shifts.

Otis Zvonecek: I’ll do it.

Joe Cruz: What? That’s the slowest house in the city.

Otis Zvonecek: I’ll do it.

Hadley: Oh, what the hell? You’ve got a medical furlough, Severide.

That means you’re medically required to be out drinking.

Kelly Severide: Yeah, well… this may be more than just a furlough.

I’m moving to Spain with Renee.

Chief Boden: Between your history with us and your father’s

distinguished career, I can get you arson

investigation. Or the academy. Your choice.

Kelly Severide: I appreciate it, Chief, I do. But I’m leaving.

Chief Boden: Kelly… just sleep on it.

Kelly Severide: I have.

Chief Boden: [sighs]

Kelly Severide: Hey. You okay?

Chief Boden: You were right about Ernie. He called, said he was in

trouble, and then he hung up. Right before we

responded to another dumpster fire.

I don’t know where to find him.

Kelly Severide: You tried to help him, Chief.

Chief Boden: Did I?

Kelly Severide: You reached out to him. You invited him in.

Chief Boden: Kelly, I saw him with this man… everything about it

felt wrong.

Kelly Severide: And you handed it over to the police.

Chief Boden: And what have they done, huh? Nothing.

Leslie Shay: Hey, uh, I must have misheard Capp, because he said

something about you going to Spain.

Kelly Severide: Yeah. I was gonna tell you this morning, but, uh… I

missed you.

Leslie Shay: How long have you known this?

Kelly Severide: A day. Maybe two.

[alarm buzzes & blares]

(Over PA): Truck 81, Ambulance 61. 425 Lake Street.

Infant shooting.

[engine starts]

[siren blares]

Lady 1: My baby. My baby’s been shot.

[dramatic music]

[door slams]

[gun cocks]

Lady 1: Baby!

Man 2 (Baby): You called the cops?

Lady 1: You’ve been shot, baby.

Put down that… [yells] Aah!

Leslie Shay: Whoa, take it easy.

Man 2 (Baby): Shut up and stay away from me!

I’m not going back to jail.

Gabby Dawson: We’re not the cops.

Man 2 (Baby): This was self defense.

Gabby Dawson: Of course it was.

Man 2 (Baby): You stay where you are.

Leslie Shay: Are you gonna shoot me for helping your mom?

[pounding at door]

Matt Casey: Fire department!

[pounding continues]

Man 2 (Baby): Tell ‘em to stop bangin’!

Tell ‘em to stop, or I’m gonna blow a hole right

through that door!

[taser buzzes]

Man 2 (Baby): [groans]

[thuds]

Matt Casey: Dawson? Shay?

Gabby Dawson: You can’t carry a taser.

Leslie Shay: Yeah, well [breathing heavily] tell that to Baby.

[door breaking]

Gabby Dawson: Baby here, uh, cold-cocked his mom and then

tripped and bumped his head.

Matt Casey: Baby?

Leslie Shay: Where in the code of conduct book does it say you

can’t carry a taser?

Gabby Dawson: [sighs] Page one.

Leslie Shay: Oh, I should totally read that someday.

cutscene

Otis Zvonecek: [exhales]

Mouch: Hey, Otis, remember to bring some reading materials with

you to Morningside.

Otis Zvonecek: [sighs]

Christopher Herrmann: 10 bucks you sell more Morningside

T-shirts to tourists than you get calls.

Otis Zvonecek: Wager denied.

Mouch & Herrmann: [laughs]

Peter Mills: Yo, Dawson, hold up.

Hey.

Yo, I’m sorry about before. It’s just that on shift, it’s…

Gabby Dawson: Oh, stop it. It’s all right.

Peter Mills: It’s just… you know that it drives me crazy.

Gabby Dawson: We’ll figure it out.

Text me after you get some rest.

Peter Mills: Sounds good.

[dog yips]

[kissing sound]

Peter Mills: Mm.

[horn honks]

Matt Casey: You wanna get breakfast?

Gabby Dawson: Yeah, sure, absolutely.

[car door shuts]

Leslie Shay: Wow, look at you. You look like you’re about to pop.

Clarice: Yeah, a few more weeks.

Leslie Shay: Thank you. I heard if you eat eggplant, the baby comes

right out.

Clarice: I moved out.

Leslie Shay: What?

Clarice: I told Daniel it wasn’t gonna work… ever.

And I, uh… I moved back in with my parents.

Leslie Shay: Wow.

Clarice: Yeah, I know. [chuckles] I mean, it’s exactly where I

imagined my life at 30, back with Barb and Gene in

my room…

Leslie Shay: [chuckles]

Clarice: ... with the No Doubt poster.

Leslie Shay: Right.

Clarice: Yeah.

Leslie Shay: And don’t forget pregnant.

Clarice: Well, I know what you’re thinking.

Leslie Shay: What’s that?

Clarice: That the way I live my life finally caught up with me.

Leslie Shay: That’s not what I’m thinking.

Clarice: And you would be right.

Anyway, um… I just came back ‘cause I wanted to say

thank you again. And you were a friend to me when I did

not deserve one.

Leslie Shay: Forget Gene and Barb. Stay with me.

Clarice: No… that’s not why I came back.

Leslie Shay: No, end of discussion.

cutscene

Gabby Dawson: And you don’t wanna get of the wrong side of my

abuela. Trust me. She’s got this look that she’ll

throw you when she’s aggravated.

[Matt & Gabby laughs]

Gabby Dawson: That means tread lightly.

Matt Casey: Yeah, I can see that.

I’m gonna speak up for my mom at the hearing today.

Gabby Dawson: And how does your sister feel?

Matt Casey: Like I’m a traitor.

She’s spoken against my mom’s release every year,

which is all the board needs to hear to deny parole.

Gabby Dawson: Ugh. That’s a tough one.

Matt Casey: Yeah.

Gabby Dawson: You want me to come with you today?

Matt Casey: Ah, you never know how long these things are gonna

go. It could be a few hours before we even get inside.

Gabby Dawson: I’m coming.

[mug clanks]

cutscene

Receptionist: Chief, you have a call. It sounds urgent.

Okay, stand by. Here he is.

Chief Boden: This is Chief Boden.

Ernie: I’m in trouble.

Chief Boden: Ernie, where are you?

Ernie: Uncle Ray makes me do it.

Chief Boden: I know. Just tell me where you are.

Ernie: He’d kill me if he knew I called you.

Chief Boden: I will not let that happen.

Ernie, please let me help you.

Ernie. Just tell me where you are.

Ernie: In-in front of some store on South Halsted and Marquette.

Chief Boden: Okay. Don’t move. I am on my way.

[car door shuts]

Chief Boden: Ernie?

Ernie!

cutscene

Orthopedic Doctor (Dr. Doriot): We take parts of bone and

cartilage from one vertebra and

fuse it onto the next. And then

we inject your own platelets

into the area, which increases

healing. Recovery time could

be four weeks instead of one

year.

Kelly Severide: How come I didn’t hear about this from my other

surgeon?

Orthopedic Doctor (Dr. Doriot): This isn’t covered by an HMO.

It’s experimental. I’m not gonna lie

to you. There are real risks here,

including partial paralysis.

Kelly Severide: Partial paralysis?

Renee Royce: I am so sorry. I, um… I guess I didn’t realise how

risky it was.

Kelly Severide: Hey.

If I’m gonna risk anything, I’ll risk it on you and me

in Madrid.

[kissing sound]

cutscene

Parole Board Member: Is there anyone present who would like to

speak either on behalf of or in opposition

to Nancy Annalyn Casey’s request for

parole?

Matt Casey: Yes. My name is Matthew Casey. I’m Nancy’s son.

I’d like to speak, please.

Parole Board Member: In four years, you’ve never spoken before,

Mr. Casey. Why now? What’s changed?

Matt Casey: Well, uh, when I was seven, I, uh, I stole a baseball mitt

from a sporting goods store. I got caught, and the

owner wanted to call the cops, teach me a lesson.

But my mom came down there and, uh, got him to

agree to let me work off the cost of the mitt by

sweeping his floor. And when my sister crashed the

family car, my dad wanted to kick her out of the house.

But my mom talked to him, worked it out where

Christie could work off the repairs by cleaning dad’s

office. What I’m-I’m trying to say is that my mom

understood punishment, but she also understood

forgiveness. She did a horrible thing that she regrets

terribly, and she’s paid the price with 15 years of her

life. But now it’s time for forgiveness, from all of us.

We lost both our father and our mother that day.

So, uh… so what’s changed? Well, I have.

I forgive her now.

Parole Board Member: Okay. Thank you, Mr. Casey.

Matt Casey: Thank you.

Parole Board Member: Would anyone else like to speak, either for

or in opposition to Ms. Casey’s possible

parole?

All right, then, Ms. Casey.

We’ll start with a simple question.

Do you feel remorse for your crime?

Nancy Casey: Yes. Yes. Yes, I do… every day.

cutscene

Otis Zvonecek: [exhales] Hey there, fellas. I’m, uh, Brian Zvonecek.

I’m relieving here for the next couple shifts.

cutscene

[door shuts]

[keys clank]

Kelly Severide: Hey.

I said hey.

I know what you’re doing.

Leslie Shay: Oh, yeah? What am I doing?

Kelly Severide: You’re not pissed at me because I didn’t tell you

first. You’re pissed off because you don’t want

me to go.

Leslie Shay: Clarice is moving in. She’s gonna need your key.

cutscene

Otis Zvonecek: [chuckles] This guy, he has a heart attack coming

down the stairs.

[laughter]

Otis Zvonecek: I mean, his heart stops and everything.

Man 3: I think I heard about that.

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah, yeah. And we had to put the paddles on him

and… [clicks mouth] he pops right back up, like,

no big deal, you know? I mean, he completed

training. I think he’s over at 94.

Man 3: [laughs]

Otis Zvonecek: Gave him the nickname “Dead Frank.”

[laughter]

Man 3: I know where I heard that story before. You’re the guy with

the podcast.

Man 4 (Redhead): We love that podcast.

Otis Zvonecek: Herrmann, right?

He put you up to this.

Man 5 (Grey hair): No, nobody did.

Otis Zvonecek: [chuckles]

[alarm chimes and blares]

(Over PA): Truck 67, assist the invalid. 32… [continues indistinctly]

Man 5 (Grey hair): Hey Brian.

Otis Zvonecek: Yeah?

Man 5 (Grey hair): Why don’t you drive?

Otis Zvonecek: Seriously?

Man 5 (Grey hair): Yeah, I’m getting tired of it. Been looking for

someone to take over.

[truck door shuts]

[engine starts]

cutscene

Christopher Herrmann: It’s weird without Otis here. Who am I

suppose to jag?

Joe Cruz: Don’t look at me.

Christopher Herrmann: And Severide’s gone too. I mean, he’s as

cocky as they come, but if you were lying

in the street, he’d give you the shirt off

his back.

Mouch: If you’re lying in the street, why do you need his shirt?

Christopher Herrmann: You know what I mean.

Matt Casey: How many times I gotta tell you to stay out of the first

watch crate, Mouch?

Mouch: They tempt me with these marshmallows, Lieutenant.

What am I supposed to do?

Matt Casey: Give me one.

Hey.

Gabby Dawson: Hey. You hear anything?

Matt Casey: Not yet. It could be a couple days.

Gabby Dawson: Fingers crossed.

Matt Casey: Thanks.

Christopher Herrmann: Chief, maybe we should rethink the dog,

eh? Time 51 got one. Plus, it would

really piss off Mouch.

Mouch: No way.

Christopher Herrmann: Peter Mills, where is that dog?

Peter Mills: Um, I found a home for it.

Christopher Herrmann: You did?

Mouch: Thank God.

[alarm buzzes & chimes]

(Over PA): Truck 81, Ambo 61, Engine 51. 78 Racine, Apartment fire.

Chief Boden: That’s Ernie’s house.

[sirens wailing]

[horn honking]

Chief Boden: Ernie?

Ernie?

I’m going up.

Matt Casey: Okay.

Spread out!

Chief Boden: Ernie!

Ernie, call out!

Ernie!

[ceiling collapsing]

Chief Boden: [grunts]

Ernie!

Ernie, call out.

Ernie.

Ernie!

[half gasp half wail]

Ernie? Can you hear me?

I’ll get you out of here. Come on. Stay with me.

[grunts]

I’m gonna get you out of here, Ernie.

[grunting]

Okay, stay with me. Stay with me.

Shay.

Ernie. Ernie.

[somber music]

cutscene

Christopher Herrmann: [sighs]

Mouch: [grunts]

[dog whimpering]

Mouch: What is that?

[dog continues whimpering]

Peter Mills: I lied. Uh, I… I-I couldn’t find anyone to take her. And

I couldn’t bring her to my place.

Sorry, guys.

Joe Cruz: Oh! Come here [murmuring to dog]

[dog yipping]

Leslie Shay: [murmuring to puppy]

[kissing sounds]

Joe Cruz: [whispers] Hey. Do you wanna say hi to Chief?

[dog whimpering]

[cell phone ringing]

Matt Casey: Hello?

Yeah.

[whispers] The parole board.

Joe Cruz: I-I know you like my nose but you can’t…[murmuring]

[whispers] Look at that. What’s that? Who’s that?

Mouch: [laughs] Ahh, jeez.

Fine. What are we gonna call this mutt?

Christopher Herrmann: Pouch.

Mouch: Huh?

Christopher Herrmann: Half pooch, half couch.

[laughter]

Mouch: Peter Mills, we’re gonna need some bacon.

Peter Mills: Right.

Matt Casey: Thank you.

Gabby Dawson: And?

Matt Casey: They granted her parole.

Gabby Dawson: Hey, congratulations.

Matt Casey: Yeah.

Gabby Dawson: What?

Matt Casey: Well, there is one condition. She has to move into a

stable household. Meaning with me.

Gabby Dawson: Oh.

cutscene

[door breaks]

[door opens and closes]

[siren blares]

[tires screeching]

[horns honking]

[siren blaring]

[tires screeching]

[car crashes]

[Boden & Ray grunting]

Chief Boden: Come on! Come on!

Man 6 (Raymond Martin): [grunts & groans]

[tire iron clatters]

[sirens approaching]

Chief Boden: A little boy? A little boy?

Police Officer: Step back! We got it.

cutscene

[truck beeping]

Otis Zvonecek: [exhales]

Man 5 (Grey hair): Nice work

Otis Zvonecek: [chuckles]

Man 5 (Grey hair): These, uh, these older houses are a tight

squeeze.

Otis Zvonecek: Thanks.

You know, I come from a family of doctors. But the

first time I saw a firefighter jump into a truck and

roar off, man, I knew I wasn’t going to medical

school. I wanted to drive a fire truck [chuckles]

Man 5 (Grey hair): [chuckles] Your parents okay with that?

Otis Zvonecek: Nope, but I am.

Man 5 (Grey hair): [laughs] Good for you.

Hey, you know, this, uh, spot in our house is

gonna be permanent. You should put in for a

transfer.

Otis Zvonecek: What, are you serious?

Man 5 (Grey hair): Hell, yeah. I’ve laughed harder this week than the

last two years.

[both chuckles]

Man 5 (Grey hair): You should see this place in the summertime.

Girls everywhere, all wanting a picture with

Chicago’s finest [chuckling] It’s the best house

in the city.

cutscene

Man 7 (District Chief Arend): Public defender is saying battery,

citing you personally and the

department at large.

Chief Boden: If they wanna have that discussion…

Man 7 (District Chief Arend): You’re having it now.

Chief Boden: I apprehended a suspect in an arson and murder

case, a suspect with an APB out on him who the

CPD did not have enough manpower

[overlapping] to stop him from killing a little boy.

Man 7 (District Chief Arend): Do you wanna go back and take the

cop’s test? Because it’s not too late.

Man 8 (District Chief Steve Walker): Ah, come on now, Wallace.

Chief Boden: No, no, no, no. These are my bugles. I’m going on

furlough. When I get back, you can tell me if I should

put ‘em back on again.

[bugles clattering]

Otis Zvonecek: Chief, I just wanna let you…

Chief Boden: Not now.

cutscene

[car door closes]

Kelly Severide: I’m a stupid ass. I know.

Leslie Shay: Yup.

Kelly Severide: And I’m sorry. I should’ve… I should’ve camped

outside your room to tell you first.

You’re my best friend, Shay.

Leslie Shay: Next time…

Kelly Severide: Hey...

Leslie & Kelly: [laughs]

Kelly Severide: No next time, I swear.

Leslie Shay: I’m glad you’re getting yourself healthy, even if it

means I have to let you go.

Kelly Severide: No one’s letting go.

Leslie Shay: Come on, let’s go in. I’m cold.

Kelly Severide: All right, yeah.

Leslie Shay: [chuckles] Hey, you know, tasers are totally against the

rules.

Kelly Severide: I know that. It’s page one.

[door opens]

Leslie Shay: All you [chuckles]

All: Surprise!

[cheers and applause]

Kelly Severide: You…

Hey.

Renee Royce: Hi.

[kissing sound]

Capp: I’m not sure what we’re gonna do without you.

Kelly Severide: [exhales] Cheers.

[background chatter & laughter]

Clarice: Hey. Look, I…I promise you that I understand, you know,

this is just an opportunity for us to be roommates.

Nothing more…

[kissing sounds]

Clarice: What was that?

Leslie Shay: I love you. I’ve always loved you.

Clarice: I love you too.

[kissing sounds]

Gabby Dawson: Mm. You sure you wanna do this, Peter Mills?

Peter Mills: I’ve been waiting all day, baby.

Gabby Dawson: Wanna sneak out of here?

Peter Mills: Your place, ten minutes?

Gabby Dawson: You’re on.

Peter Mills: Mm…

[laughter]

Firefighters: Kick flips?

No, you.

[laughter]

Otis Zvonecek: I’m telling you, guys, it wasn’t that bad.

[audio muffled, fading]

Renee Royce: Sorry, have… have you seen Kelly?

Matt Casey: Yeah, he’s over there.

Or, was…

Renee Royce: Oh.

�� [engine turns off]

[distant laughter]

Man 9 (Benny Severide): So it’s 15 degrees, and there was this

homeless guy that used to hang

around in the alley behind the house.

And we find him, and he is frozen

solid. I mean, he’s a block of ice. So

I call the morgue and I say, “Listen.

We got a frozen dead guy, and you

gotta come and pick him up.” And

they say, “Well, he can’t just be

dead. He’s gotta be warm and dead

before we’ll come and get him.” So

we dragged the homeless guy

across the apparatus floor, and we

wait for him to thaw out, for about

ten hours. Anyway, eventually he

got warm enough and dead

enough to actually be dead, so they

came and got him.

[chuckles]

Kelly Severide: You still telling that one?

Man 9 (Benny Severide): Well, I’ll be damned.

Kelly Severide: Guys. Hey.

Man 10: How you doing?

Kelly Severide: Dad.

Man 9 (Benny Severide): You want something to eat?

Kelly Severide: Oh, nah. I’m good, thanks.

Uh… [deep breath] I’m leaving the CFD.

Man 9 (Benny Severide): What happens when you and this Renee

get tired of each other, and you find

yourself in some godforsaken country

with nothing to show for it but a

pension?

Kelly Severide: I don’t know. This doesn’t look so bad.

Man 9 (Benny Severide): Trust me. You’re worried about partial

paralysis? How about full paralysis?

‘Cause that’s what this is [exhales]

There’s no replacing Rescue Squad… but

you already know that. That’s why you

came out here, so I could talk you out of

going.

Look, I know I wasn’t there for you like I

could’ve been or should’ve been, and

I’m… three wives removed from your

mother and I-I-I’m in no position to give

you advice. But you’re scared, Kelly.

And you know why you’re scared?

‘Cause you’re not ready for this. Man 10: Benny, you ready?

Kelly Severide: She’s counting on me. I promised her.

Man 9 (Benny Severide): She’ll get over it.

Disappoint anyone. Hell, disappoint

everyone, but don’t ever disappoint

yourself.

It’s good to see you.

Kelly Severide: You too, pop.

[exhales]

[background chatter]

[distant siren]

cutscene

Kelly Severide: Hey.

Renee Royce: What’s going on?

[car door closes]

Kelly Severide: I’m uh… I’m gonna get the surgery.

Renee Royce: Oh, Kelly, come on. It’s… it’s just not worth the risk.

I mean, we’ll do it right. You’ll come with me. You’ll

recuperate in Mad…

You wanna stay.

I should’ve known [chuckles]

I was that close to not even telling you. And you

would’ve come with me to Madrid. And… the sky

would’ve been the limit for us.

Kelly Severide: Hey, hey. What you did might be the most important

thing anyone’s ever done for me.

Thank you.

Renee Royce: Well, uh… I guess now we’re even.

Kelly Severide: Yeah. We’re even.

[kissing sounds]

[car door shuts]

cutscene

[knocks at door]

Chief Boden: Shonda.

Lady 2 (Shonda): Wallace.

Chief Boden: Can I please see Jimmy?

Lady 2 (Shonda): No. He’s not your son.

Chief Boden: The hell he ain’t. I raised him from the time he was

three. Never used the word stepson. Not once.

I need to see him.

[dog barks]

Chief Boden: Hey Ralphie. How are you? I miss you, boy.

Kid 2 (Jimmy): Dad.

[murmurs emotionally]

cutscene

[taps on glass]

Doctor: You ready?

Kelly Severide: Yeah. I’m ready.

- end -

Definitions:

Orthopedics = Is the branch of surgery concerned with conditions involving the musculoskeletal system – the bones, joints, ligaments, tendons, and muscles.

Propane = Propane is a form of LPG (Liquefied Petroleum Gas). Propane is a gas but can be liquefied and stored in a propane gas tank. It is commonly used as a fuel in domestic and industrial applications and in low-emissions public transportation.

Abuela = “Grandmother” in Spanish.

HMO = A Health Maintenance Organisation (HMO) gives access to certain doctors and hospitals within its network. A network is made up of providers that have agreed to lower their rates for plan members and also meet quality standards. Care under a HMO plan is covered only if you see a provider within that HMO’s networks.

APB = All-points bulletin (APB) is a general bulletin broadcast to alert law-enforcement officers over a wide area that someone (e.g. a suspect) or something (e.g. a vehicle) is being actively sought in connection with a crime.

Bugles = Orders are given to the troops by officers, through the use of a large brass device that resembles a megaphone. These were very ornate brass horns. They were commonly called “bugles”.

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