#tamar x reader

[sapphicsaints]

What if reader was Nikolai’s sister who’s in a relationship with Tamar and when they’re at sea they can actually be together but on land they can’t because it’s forbidden, maybe a jealousy one where her parents are pushing reader into an arranged marriage.

princesses get what they want

Tamar x Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: “I’ll figure it out. Princesses are used to getting what they want.” 

“Oh and am I something you want?” Her eyes glimmered with a challenge.

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I had fun writing this.

I was pissed when Nikolai said no to me accompanying them on the whaler. But he had a point - it’s too risky to have both of us together, to chance the Darkling recognizing us. Tailoring only went so far. We can’t shake the mannerisms we share, even the crew suspect we’re related, although they don’t know our true identities. Plus, it would be a shame for Ravka to lose both of their spares in one go. 

“I can’t trust you not to snap back at the Grisha.” He didn’t face me, still stood pouring over a map. 

My eyes narrowed. “Can’t trust me?” 

His head snapped over his shoulder. “You know as well as I do that your attitude can be … volatile.” 

I scoffed. “I have self control.” 

“Do you not remember the fight you got in with the Grisha children? How did that end last time?” 

“With a few bruised egos.” I laughed at the memory. Nikolai didn’t laugh. I’d caused quite the headache, and he’d been the one to explain it to my mother. 

Tamar snickered from the corner and I shot her a glare. She’s not helping the situation. 

--

I couldn’t help the relief I felt when Tamar returned safe, nor the anger when Nikolai announced she’d be sharing quarters with the Sun Summoner. I dragged him away to have a quiet, but heated exchange. 

“You didn’t bother to ask me before kicking me out of my room?” I hissed. 

“There’s a better room for you.” He tried to soothe. 

“Oh you know that’s not the reason.” 

He winced, looking around for someone to come interrupt. I poked a finger into his chest. “You owe me one.” He nodded before waving Privyet over, I took that as my chance to leave and find Tamar. 

I intercepted her on her way back up to get her rations. “Did you agree to this before?” I asked through clenched teeth. 

“I found out when you did.” She shrugged. 

“You’re not upset?” 

“Of course I am.” She said, with a tone of surprise, “But I can’t question him in front of everyone.” 

I sighed, she has a point. “I’m stealing you for a few hours.” I said, before dragging her back down, she laughed. 

--

“Are you excited to be back?” Alina asked as we walked into our lodgings for the night.

I looked at her, it was a genuine question. “I’d rather be anywhere else.” I answer drily. Tolya chuckled behind me. 

“Why?” She pushed. 

I sighed, not in annoyance, but explaining the situation might make it a bit more real than I want to. 

“Come on,” I said, and tugged her up the stairs towards our room. I shut the door and sat on the windowsill, motioning for her to take a seat. She sat on my bed, looking vaguely uncomfortable. The door opened again, Tamar walked in and leaned against it. I didn’t pay much attention to her, it would hurt too much to look at her now, and to explain this. Before she could say anything I started explaining. 

“Once we get back, they’re going to start trying to marry me off.” Alina glanced toward Tamar, her expression stony. I couldn’t meet her eyes. “And I love being called a bastard.” 

Alina’s eyes widened. I’m sure she’d heard the rumors, but confirmation is another thing entirely. 

I chuckled darkly, “Mother couldn’t stay away from the Kaelish.” There was a bite in my voice, an edge. “Isn’t it obvious?” I said, waving my hand over my face. Neither of the women in the room commented, Tamar already knew but Alina seemed in shock. I pushed myself up from my seat, heading to the door. I stopped a few paces away, turning my head over my shoulder.  

“I love my brother, but do yourself a favor and don’t marry him. Court is fucked up, you don’t want to be involved any more than you have to be Sun Summoner.”

I brushed past Tamar, “Always the dramatics” she whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes but walked out. Hopefully she wasn’t on guard duty tonight, and I could steal her for a few hours. 

“You like it.” I said, and closed the door behind me. I heard her talking to Alina behind me, but didn’t reply. My shoulders sagged as I walked out the door. I felt it coming back - the burden. I didn’t like it. 

--

“You’ve finally returned.” Mother kissed both of my cheeks and I had to fight the urge to cringe back. 

“Did you not get any of our summons?” She asked. 

“They must’ve been lost.” I replied, my voice a bit distant. The tone I'd always adopted at home. I saw Tamar glance at me out of the corner of my eye, but I didn’t dare look back. If there was a mirror nearby I'd have been able to see the mask that slowly set in place, the hardness that settled in behind my eyes. It’s a shame how quickly old habits settle back in. One glance at Nikolai, and I saw it on him. My eyes narrowed as I watched Vasily sitting next to ‘father’. The hatred that swarmed through my body threatened to burst through, the one who’d made my life living hell growing up. The tension must’ve been palpable because I felt Nikolai’s hand on my shoulder. 

“It’s been a long journey.” He said, “We’ll settle in and return for dinner.” He steered me out of the room, hand on my shoulder, and I caught Tamar’s eye on the way out. I winked at her, and to her credit she didn’t break face - but I saw the amused glint in her eyes. At least one of us found it funny. It didn’t escape our parents' attention that we didn’t ask to be dismissed, that we left. It was a subtle threat - that we could leave again if we wanted to. 

“Did we really have to come back?” I muttered to Nikolai as we walked out of the throne room. 

“The walls have ears.” He replied, and I sealed my mouth shut. “We’ll talk later.” He finished, dropping me off at my room. I forced a smile on my face as servants began fluttering in and out, all but shoving me straight into the bath.

--

I agreed to meet her, just past sundown, on the grounds. She said there’s something she wants to show me. Sneaking past my guards and all of the servants dotting around too a bit of effort - and a little bit of blind faith, jumping out of the window into the soft bushes. 

I landed with a grunt, and heard laughter coming from across the lawn. My eyes narrowed and I saw a figure running towards me. Her. She’s supposed to meet me somewhere else completely. I’m struggling out of the bushes when her hand appears in front of me. I considered batting it away but ended up taking it and let her heave me to my feet, dragging me out of the bushes. I cross my arms to glare at her. 

“You weren’t supposed to be anywhere near here.” 

She laughed, a grin spreading across her face. The grin I love so much. “I couldn’t miss seeing the princess land in the bushes.” 

“How’d you know I’d take the window? I could’ve snuck through the halls.”

“Past all the guards Nikolai has stationed?” She laughed again. “You’re good, but you wouldn’t have made it past the first set of doors before someone told him.” 

I rolled my eyes. She has a point. Her eyes scan the surrounding area before she pulls me right into a tight hug. I squeeze back, holding on as long as I can. Eventually she untangles herself from me and kisses my forehead. 

“I’ve missed you.” She murmurs, holding me back at the shoulders. 

“I wish we could see each other more.” 

Her hands drop, one taking mine instead. I took this for granted at sea, being with each other publicly, without any fears. “Let’s go for a walk.” She said instead. 

We took the long way around the gardens. The silence felt tense for once, normally it was comfortable - easy. 

“Mother wants me to start meeting suitors.” I said, my voice low. I saw Tamar’s shoulders tense. 

“How do you feel about that?” She replied. 

I stopped and turned to face her. “What do you think?” 

“How am I supposed to know?” Maybe the hurt showed through my eyes because her eyes softened and she wrapped me up in another hug. “We knew this would happen.”

“I’ll fight it. I’ll find a way.” She hummed, like she didn’t believe me, but I would. I would find a way to get out of this, somehow. 

“I’m jealous.” 

That came as a surprise. It shouldn’t have. 

“Why?” I regretted the question as soon as it left my lips. “Nevermind.” I said quickly, covering my tracks. “What do you want to show me?” 

She placed a soft kiss on my lips before taking my hand again and smiling, dragging me towards the stables. We stood around the outside edge, in the shadows, watching the fights. We quietly placed bets on the fighters - I lost a fair bit of money, not that it really mattered to me. It reminded me of the Volkvolny - and she knew it. 

“Think any of them would fight me?” I asked. 

She laughed, “Not if they know who you are.” 

“Let’s get Genya to tailor me.” I said, my practically bouncing on my feet. “Tomorrow.” 

“And how are we going to explain who you are?” 

“I’ll figure it out. Princesses are used to getting what they want.” 

“Oh and am I something you want?” Her eyes glimmered with a challenge. I took a quick look around, nobody was paying attention, and dragged her to a corner. 

“Anyone can see.” She hissed “I know this place better than anyone.” I winked at her before dragging her off to a hidden corner on the grounds. 

I made Tamar a lot of money the next night, and pissed Tolya off. He figured it out after the first three fights, and dragged me back towards the Grand Palace, Tamar laughing her ass off in tow. Thankfully, she healed me, and nobody was none the wiser that they got their ass kicked by the Princess of Ravka. 

-- 

A party was thrown at the Grand Palace in honor of Nikolai’s birthday, and the Queen took it as an excuse to arrange some suitors to come visit. Tamar was on guard in the corner, the Sun Summoner attending. I faked some smiles, a few gentle touches on arms here and there. Too many dances with grubby hands. I was dancing with the son of a wealthy Kerch merchant when his hand drifted a bit too low. I firmly moved it back onto my waist, but caught Tamar’s face out of the corner of my eye - the look in her eyes made me gulp. She didn’t see me watching her, her eyes were narrowed on the man in front of me, waiting a few seconds too long before roaming the room again. I tried to catch her eye several times, even tried to stand next to her at one point, but it’s like she sensed me coming and moved before I could get close. I couldn’t fight the hurt and anger that slowly built up inside me. I’d go see her later tonight. I had too. 

I didn’t get that chance. Nikolai and I barely escaped with our lives - and I had the honor of dragging Baghra out of her cave. I fought in the infantry too, I thought I knew war, but shadow monsters that can’t be killed are something else entirely. The Darkling had changed the playing field completely, we were caught off guard, caught by surprise. I should have felt bad about Vasily being ripped to pieces, and part of me did, but the other was so angry that he put everything at risk for his own vanity, that I didn’t have space in my heart to mourn for him. 

I went back with him that night, and I saw no sign of her, no sign of anyone, just bodies littering the ground. No survivors in sight. I vomited that night for hours. Hidden away from everyone. She had to be alive, had to. I felt it, I would know if she was dead. Maybe it’s fake hope, but I clung to it like a lifeline. 

-- 

I didn’t expect anything special when Nikolai returned from the raid, he’d gone many times, and this is the one I decided to sit out, having been injured on the last. Of course the one I miss is the one Tamar showed up at. He conveniently forgot to tell me she’d been spotted at one of the smuggling stations. 

“I thought of you every day.” I said between kisses, hidden in one of many back hallways. 

“I did too.” She replied. 

“If you still want me.” Tamar went to interrupt, but I held up one hand. “Now that Nikolai’s King. There’s nothing stopping us.” 

Her head lowered, mouth moving to graze my ear. She didn’t answer my question directly. “Every time one of those men would put a hand on you. Every time you had to flirt back. I thought I'd explode.” She pushed me towards the wall, my back pressed against the stone cold. Tamar moved slowly, her hand tracing the side of my face, I leaned into her touch. “I couldn’t think of you the last few months. The idea that you might be dead. It was too painful.” 

I tilted my head to meet her eyes. “I knew you’d be alive.” I saw the confusion on her face. “I would’ve felt it if you died.” I held a hand up to my heart. It might be the cheesiest thing I've ever said, but the small smile on her face was worth it. I couldn’t handle it any longer, I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in, pulled her into the kiss I’d been waiting months for. 

#tamar x reader #tamar x y/n #tamar kir bataar x reader #tamar kir bataar x y/n #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone imagine #reader imagine #shadow and bone #tamar kir bataar #nikolai lantsov #tolya yul bataar #grishaverse #grishaverse fanfic

[notelcol]

Second vote is here! ❤️

Saving the character vote for the last one to try and make a chaotic story😆

So far we have shadow and bone as our winner fandom🫶(can’t lie I was a little surprised but I should have known the grishaverse is thirsty)

Thank you for voting! Keep an eye out for the next vote. Let’s see how interesting we can make this😝🌹

#shadow and bone x reader #writing #x reader #shadow and bone #six of crows #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lanstov x reader #mal x reader #tolya yul bataar #tolya and tamar #tolya x reader #nikolai x reader #tamar x reader #zoya nazyalensky #zoya #jesper fahey #Jesper #wylan #wylan van eck #nina zenik #grishaverse #grisha netflix #grisha #inej ghafa

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Is there any chance you could do a crow!reader x Tamar fic? There’s never enough written about her and I love the way you do it

You Cannot Push Me Away - Tamar Kir Bataar

Content Warnings: Canon Compliant Threat And Violence. Not Beta / Proof Read.

A crow isn't exactly where Tamar thought she would be cashing in her chips exactly, but love is found in odd places, Tamar was no stranger to that concept. And in love she is, smitten her brother might say if he could see her right now, hanging from every word you speak as if she did not know all the things you've done.

You can't ignore the way she is looking at you, the way she talks to you, that smile that she only seems to get around you, the way her eyes light up and you can hear her heartbeat just as clearly as she can likely hear yours. And you can't quite understand it.

Tamar is a soldier, a woman with faith and a cause, and you... you work with the greatest thief in Kerch, maybe anywhere. Or work for, you guess is more accurate.

She has taken the time she has spent here in Ketterdam, on some mission she hasn't told you much about, and you haven't asked much about, getting to know you. And in the barrel, you wear your wins like armour to anyone who isn't Stadwatch, so she knows your sins, she knows what you have done, admitted to or not to get you where you are, to survive the barrel, to suit The Dregs, to keep moving. And yet she still looks at you like that.

"Come on little bird," she tries, her tone like silk and sugar. It makes you want to agree with anything she says, agree to anything she asks of you. But what she is asking is crazy and you won't lose sight of that.

"Crow's are actually medium sized birds," you counter.

"Nice try," she replies, "come on, say you'll leave with me, let me take you back to Ravka, let me spoil you."

You laugh, walking the wall as she keeps to the street, you feel safe up here, one misstep from falling, keeps you calm, focused, and Tamar... Tamar makes you feel like you could depend on someone, rely on someone, that someone could know you and love you at the same time.

"Tamar..."

"Say my name like that gorgeous and I may just have to climb up there and kiss you," she says.

"Threat or a promise," you tease back.

"Can't flirt your way out of this one," Tamar says. "Come away with me."

"I can't," you tell her. You're walking faster, but not as fast as you're running in your mind. For someone who is saying they can't leave, you've gotten so good at running away. You've convinced yourself no one could understand you, love you and stay.

"Why?" Tamar asks.

"Why?" you echo.

"Give me one good reason," Tamar says, "a real reason."

"I feel like I am going to hurt you," you explain, but Tamar just keeps smiling at you. You've never known someone to be as fierce, as relentless, as endlessly down to fight as Tamar, able to look so welcoming in the face of a threat. A non intentional threat, but a threat none the less.

"You won't hurt me," Tamar says plainly. She looks at you so certain, so adamant. Like all her faith is in this statement, like she knows nothing else to be as true as those words. She speaks them so easily. But you know yourself, and you want to be what she sees you as but your fears that all you've done to become who you are will keep you from being anything more are ever present. And you do not want to be that person for Tamar, you want to believe in who you could have been if things were different. But you cannot put that on her. You can't.

"It's not a risk I would like to take," you say, an amount of rage flaring up in your voice, you suck the air in through your teeth trying to keep the flames at bay.

"There's a risk in anything," Tamar says, her fingers absentmindedly brushing over the blade of one of her axes. "Always in life, and especially in love."

"You're not hearing me," Tamar can see your frustration as clearly as you can feel it. "I am scared I am going to hurt you." Admitting to fear, something you had hoped you would never have to do again. Being a in the dregs, being a crow, you'd really hoped you'd left fear in a lockbox in the back of your mind, or at least that you could hide it behind walls, and fake stoicism. You had hoped you'd never had to admit to the weakness of fear again, Kaz would never. You wanted to be more like Kaz.

"I am not scared of getting hurt," Tamar says, "I can handle it."

"Tamar... I mean hurt you, hurt you, like... get you killed kind of hurt you," you say biting your tongue hard, almost enough to draw blood, hoping that it can give you composure, keep you from shaking. You like Tamar, you really like Tamar. She was the first good thing you've ever known. The first thing you make you feel like a real person and not a weapon. The first person who wanted to care for you, and not want anything in return. Tamar works on honour. You'd never met a person like that. Tamar expects nothing in return for what she has offered you. She isn't striking a bargain or trying to get the upper hand like every other person in this rotten city. She has faith in something more than riches. She has a calling that gives her purpose and not greed. She's good. She has blood on her hands, and a fight in her that keeps raging, and yet she is somehow still good. If you told her that you did not want her, because you did not want her, and not because you were scared to want her, she would ask nothing of you. She would give you the space you need and not punish you for it.

But you want her, of course you want her, you've never wanted anything as much as you want her.

"Then kill me," Tamar says, stepping closer, "I'd like to see you try, and honestly, it's the only thing that will stop me wanting to be beside you, only in death will you free me from that."

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows #tamar kir bataar #tamar x reader #tamar kir bataar x reader #tamar kir bataar fic #tamar kir bataar fanfic #tamar kir bataar x crow reader #the crows #six of crows reader

[syllvane]

constellations- tamar kir-bataar x reader

You notice the gravity they carry with them the first time they enter the Spinning Wheel, although notice is a bit of a lackluster term, in your opinion.

They are impossible to ignore, like a full moon in the middle of the night, pulling the tides up to meet them.

Tamar - you don’t know her name yet, but you’ll listen closely whenever they’re near for the chance to learn it - is the one that strikes you the most, the one that your eyes always flit to when you’re supposed to be working, the one that will catch your eye and give you a small smile.

It’s the day after they arrive that Nikolai visits your workstation, a smile on his face.

“I saw you looking at Tamar yesterday.” He said and your head snapped towards him. “One of my crew members on the Volkvolny.”

“Right, Tamar.” You replied, testing her name out on your lips. “It’s not every day you bring new people-”

“Oh come on, how long have we been friends? You’ve never been a good liar.”

“I don’t even know her, Nikolai. I didn’t even know her name before you said it just now.”

“Well, maybe you could know her. She was asking about you as well.”

“First-”

“Oh boy.” He mumbled, leaning against a shelf with an amused expression on his face. “I’m listening.”

“- I did not ask about her.”

He shrugged.

“Point taken.”

“Second,” You started before the conviction in your voice faded, replaced with something softer. “She asked about me?”

His lips curled into a smile and you immediately regretted asking.

“She did.”

“What did she ask?”

“I am sworn to secrecy-”

“So help me Saints, I will fuck up your boat if you don’t tell me.”

Nikolai paused, his head tilted to the side as he looked at you, as if he was calculating how serious you were.

“She asked your name, for one, and also the kind of work you do here.” He said, narrowing his eyes slightly. “That’s all I will say.”

“That’s very unhelpful, Nik.”

“Yes, well it’s the most I can say without betraying either of your trust.”

He stood up straight, looking around your workstation.

“I should let you get back to work.”

“Don’t be a stranger, Nik. You’re gone enough as it is.” You said and he looked at you, a genuine smile appearing on his face, like spring after a long winter.

“I’m sorry that I’m not here often.”

“You’re doing important work, I understand.”

“Yes, well… you’re always welcome on the Volkvolny as well.”

You returned the smile, giving him a nod.

—

“So, Nikolai said that you’re a Durast. A visionary, was his exact words I believe.” Tamar said and you nearly fused the engine that you had been working on with the table out of surprise.

You looked at her sheepishly, hoping that she hadn’t noticed your panic.

“He gives me too much credit.” You said, trying to turn your attention back towards the engine, though everything about her demanded that you focused on her. 

“I’ve always found that he’s a pretty good judge of character.” She said lightly. “Don’t tell him I said that though. He has a big enough ego as is.”

You looked up at her to see her already smiling at you, her eyes sparkling.

“I won’t, but his ego is nothing compared to his brothers and his parents’.” You smiled, looking back at your project in thought before looking back up at her. “He’s a good man in spite of them.”

“That, he is.” Tamar nodded, her attention drawn to something over your shoulder. She narrowed her eyes before looking back to you, her features softening. “So, change of topic, but what do you do for fun here?”

“Well, as you can possibly imagine, there isn’t the widest array of options in a remote workshop. You and,” You turned, confirming your suspicion that the man she had been walking with when you first saw her was watching the conversation intently, “…him are probably better off passing time however you pass time on the ship.”

Tamar’s cheeks reddened and she laughed slightly.

“That’s my brother, Tolya. He is very… I’m sorry about him.” She said, running her hand through her hair.

“You don’t have to apologize, I… before this was Nikolai’s workshop, it was an observatory. The glass dome portion is actually really beautiful on a clear night. It’s not fun, but-��

“I’ll meet you there tonight?” She asked and you felt heat rise to your face.

“Yeah. I’ll meet you there tonight.”

—

When you arrive at the glass dome, there are several moments of panic you go through. 

What if she doesn’t know how to get to the glass dome? You never specified a time, what if she got here earlier and thought you stood her up? What if she stands you up? What if-

The metal ladder leading up to the dome creaked and any panic dissolved into a different kind of panic, one that fluttered inside of your chest like a bird.

Tamar emerged from the trapdoor and she smiled brightly as she saw you.

You helped her out and she looked up, her breath caught in her chest as she looked at the copper menagerie on the ceiling of the dome.

“You were right, this place is beautiful. How did you find this place?” She asked, her attention falling back onto you.

“Lots of time exploring, that’s what I do for fun. Occasionally I find places like this.” You smiled, looking around at the metal and glass work, the love and care that must have gone into crafting each specific constellation. “Do you want to see something cool?”

“Always.” She responded and you glanced at her, smiling before you looked back up towards the copper and the star-filled night sky.

You raised your hands and, with all the care in the world, began to rotate the copper sheet so that constellations and animals carved in copper would match the night sky.

You heard her gasp but maintained concentration until you were sure that everything was in the correct place.

You looked at her, power coursing in your veins, and she grinned.

“My own personal astronomer.”

“At your service.” You joked and she grabbed your hand, her skin warm against yours.

“Can I kiss you?”

The bird inside your chest fluttered and you found yourself leaning closer towards her.

“Please.”

#tamar kir bataar #tamar yul bataar #tamar kir bataar x reader #tamar x reader #tolya and tamar #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov

[dellabearry]

im gonna need more tolya and tamar fics in this app or i will combust. i need more content of them. please.

#netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #tamar x reader #tamar kir bataar imagine #tamar kir bataar x reader #tamar kir bataar #tolya and tamar #tolya yul bataar #tolya yul bataar x reader #tolya yul bataar imagine #tamar kir bataar x you #tolya yul bataar x you #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai x you #nikolai lantsov

[writing-sunshine]

Three times Tamar helped Y/N and the one time she couldn’t…

Paring: Tamar Kir-Bataar x reader

Warnings: Fighting, guns, death, drowning

Summary: The title

-

1

“No, no, no, you don’t get to die on me today.” Tamar whispered to her love as she kept her hands steady keeping her heart beating. Every few seconds she’d stop, tilt Y/N’s head back a little and cover her nose while forcing air into her lungs.

A few minutes earlier there had been an argument between Y/N and a new crew mate, he shoved her and she lost her footing, falling overboard. In those short few minutes it took for everyone else to notice and rescue her, she had breathed in too much water. Likely due to the sharp shock of the freezing water.

2 minutes passed of Tamar working to keep her heart beating. Most had lost hope and already looked away, Tolya placed a hand on Tamar’s shoulder but she didn’t stop. There was a sudden movement from Y/N as she choked and sputtered on the water in her lungs, turning on her side so the water could leave.

Tamar let out a sigh of relief, closing her eyes briefly as the realisation that her love was so close to death. Once Y/N had caught her breath again, she pulled her into her arms tightly. Just for a moment they could forget about the world around them, just for that moment.

-

2

Challenging Y/N to see who could drink more was always a bad idea, she always wanted to prove people wrong when they underestimated her. But Y/N was a loud drunk that had no filter, usually professing her undying love for Tamar to those that would listen.

“She’s just so ama-zing, have you seen her with those axes. She’d fight anyone who was a threat to her friends and family.” Y/N hiccuped her way through the words, talking animatedly to a random person she’d found.

“Okay, it’s time to go now.”

Tamar had to practically carry Y/N back to their room that night because she’d drank so much she couldn’t walk in a straight line and kept bumping into the walls.

“Almost there.” As they entered the room, Y/N flopped onto the bed but not before saying how much she loved Tamar once more.

Tamar found the whole situation quite funny, laughing quietly to herself as she untied Y/N’s corset and took off her shoes before laying in the bed herself.

-

3

“Behind you!” Someone shouted and Y/N turned around using her daggers to slice at the man’s face and pushing him overboard.

The ship had been attacked by pirates while they were sailing through the night. Many of the crew members had been asleep until the shouts had been heard.

The pirates were out numbered 2-1 but still fought on. Another man had managed to grab Y/N, holding a knife to her throat and was about to slice open her neck when he stumbled. Tamar wasted no time in making sure his heart was no longer beating.

Running over to make sure Y/N was okay before continuing the fight. Luckily that night they didn’t loose anyone, Tamar not leaving Y/N’s side for a while.

-

One

It was a slaughter, guns firing from all over, grisha using their abilities to murder soldiers. They had to move back to avoid being killed themselves.

Their tactics were working though, ambushing the group from behind while blinding them with smoke. One woman with dark hair kept pushing forward with two others, each of their abilities amplified.

She froze water and shot them forward like bullets, many penetrating the wooden barricades acting as shields. Tamar was on one side while Y/N was a little in front of her. She looked back with a face full of determination, believing that they could win this. Nadia and her brother stepped out, using their combined power but it wasn’t enough. They were sent flying back.

The woman again froze water but this time with the help of her friend sent the dagger-like weapons faster towards them. Trying to stay alive they moved backwards again, Y/N rushing forward to protect Tamar as the blades sped towards them. She covered her body with hers and felt as each blade stabbed her.

Tamar turned around and Y/N fell into her arms, both of them protected by the barricades. It took a moment for Tamar to fully realise that she couldn’t save Y/N this time. There was no water in her lungs, her heart hadn’t stopped, she wasn’t drunk, there was no blade to her throat - but she was dying.

As Y/N struggled to breathe with frozen blades of ice stuck in her body, her eyes found Tamar’s who kept looking at the injuries for a solution. When it became evident that there wasn’t one, her eyes met Y/N’s and she knew it would be the last time.

“Thank you. Thank you f-for all those t-times you saved me. I love y-you Tamar.” She staggered through the words painfully as blood began to seep out from her wounds and mouth. It was like she was drowning all over again.

“Hey, you’re going to be okay. You don’t need to thank me, I would save you as many times as I need to.”

Tamar was never scared, but in that moment she feared death. Not for herself but for her love. Death was going to take away part of her life-her heart.

“I love you so much-“ but Tamar didn’t get to finish what she was saying because she heard the lack of heartbeat, Y/N’s eyes had closed. The last thing she heard was Tamar’s voice lulling her to sleep one last time

#tamar x reader #tamar kir bataar x reader #tamar kir bataar #tolya and tamar #x reader #shadow and bone #six of crows

[mixed-imagination]

A Grisha's Affair - Nikolai x Grisha!Reader x Kirigan (part 1)

PAIRING: Nikolai Lantsov x Fem!Grisha!reader x General Kirigan ♡

NOTE: This is the first part of a short two parter.

*** Requested by @seronsalk

*** Beautiful golden divider created by @saradika ♡♡♡

As you neared the rear entrance of the Little Palace, your heart raced within your chest, drumming a quick and frantic beat. You had pushed yourself to the limit, sprinting down the forest path until your lungs burned and your breath came in ragged gasps. You cursed yourself and wondered why you had driven yourself to that point anyway.

A sudden memory flooded your mind, creating a rush of emotions.

You pounded on Nikolai's door. You weren't sure why you were so eager to see him, but you chalked it up to wanting only to say goodbye.

The door swung open to reveal Nikolai standing in his untied robe. His face seemed surprised to see you, but with one look at you, he greeted you with a big smile "Y/N, isn’t it past your curfew, little miss Durast?

You mirrored his smile but furrowed your brows, "I'm no longer a child, Nikolai."

"No, you certainly are not." His gaze descended your figure which made your cheeks hot. You were suddenly aware of how exposed and vulnerable you were. There you stood, before this handsome prince, in a thin, lace night dress and silk robe.

You wrapped your robe tighter around your frame, praying Nikolai did not catch a glimpse of the cold night air exposing your natural body, "Let me in."

"Won't you get in trouble with your Darkling?”

"I haven't seen him in weeks," you pushed past him and headed straight to the opposite side of his room. You settled in front of his desk, leaning your hands back against the chair.

Nikolai shut the door and his smile widened. He waited for you to continue speaking but it didn't come, so he responded, "Am I his replacement then?"

“General Kirigan?”

“The one and only Darkling.”

"What, no, of course not. First off, he’s my superior, and you’re no way near—" You huffed, "Stop. I'm not here to be questioned by you."

Nikolai laughed, "Right. Go on then."

The halls were dimly lit, and you realized you had never ventured through the palace this late before. You prayed that no one had noticed you sneaking back in after your late-night rendezvous. You didn't want to risk General Kirigan finding out about your secret meetings.

The unfamiliarity of your surroundings and the thought of what might be waiting for you made you quicken your pace as fast as you could without running. As you rounded the next corner, your hand instinctively went to your chest, trying to calm the erratic beating of your heart.

You crossed your arms, "So tomorrow you leave again."

"As soon as the sun rises, I'm off," Nikolai did not come closer to you. Instead, he copied your position and leaned his back against the door frame.

You found your gaze inevitably drawn to the way his torso muscles rippled underneath his robe with each subtle movement, causing you to bite your lip in frustration at the unyielding distance between you.

"And where are you going to this time?"

"Novyi Zem." Your chest ached, knowing well how long the journey would be. "There's a talented Fabrikator there that's willing to create a strong steel for my newest creation."

Your jaw dropped slightly. You were slightly offended but your playful tone remained, "What? Fabrikator? Have you forgotten I'm a durast? You could've asked me to—"

Nikolai finally stepped forward and raised his hands, "Y/N no, you're one of my closest friends, I couldn't—"

Friend.

A memory of his mouth on yours suddenly flashed in your mind.

Friends don't kiss.

You ignored it.

Breathless and with a light sheen of sweat on your forehead, you finally reached the entrance to your wing of the palace. You could see the guards standing, their eyes watching your every move.

You tried to act casual, as if you had simply been out for a stroll in the gardens, but your heart was racing with fear. What if they could somehow sense your guilt and apprehend you on the spot?

You approached them with a smile and a greeting, hoping to deflect their attention. They nodded politely, but you could tell they were eyeing you suspiciously.

As you made your way down your long corridor, you felt relieved to see the door to your bedroom. You couldn't believe you had gotten away with it.

You giggled to yourself, remembering once again.

"Saints, Nikolai, that's exactly why you should've asked me!" your head tilted and you tutted, "I bet I could do your fabrikator better."

"Better than 80,000 tensile strength?"

"100,000 tensile strength and more!"

He threw his head back, "Oh no, you're joking. Really?"

Your face broke into a big grin. "Yes, yes, yes, you bet your royal arse I can,” you laughed.

Like always, you fell into an ongoing easy conversation with Nikolai. Talking with him was breath of fresh air as you had a natural understanding of each other. Your conversations always felt like a plunge into an infinite pool that contained both his thoughts and yours.

As you listened to him speak about his latest invention, you couldn't help but get lost in not only his words but also in his boyishly handsome features. His dark blonde hair was perfectly messy and his blue eyes sparkled with mischief. You stared at the way his lips moved and how the sharpness of his jawline accentuated with every sentence.

You tried to focus, but your mind kept wandering to other things, like how it would feel to run your hands through his hair and kiss him again. A heat suddenly began to rise in your cheeks, your attraction to him growing more obvious.

Nikolai stood only a few feet away from you now. He started to notice how your eyes seemed to linger on him a little longer than usual. "Are you alright, Y/N?"

You blinked and nodded, "Oh yes, I am."

"Good," he beamed and stepped closer. "So tell me. Why have you come? I've never seen you out this late."

You shrugged, avoiding his eyes, "What? I can't come and spend quality time with my closest friend?"

"Not at this hour, little miss goodie two shoes," he smirked.

You turned with your back facing him now and looked down at his desk, feigning interest in the papers placed on it. "Maybe I wanted to say goodbye. As a friend should."

He scoffed, "Don't say you're actually going to miss me when I'm gone."

"A good, best, closest friend would."

Nikolai was right behind you now. The third time you exaggerated the word, a knowing shit-eating grin grew across his face. "You sound like you have an issue with being my friend."

You finally entered your room and firmly pressed both palms against the door, shutting it behind you. Leaning your forehead against the cool wood, you lingered in that stance, still lost in your reverie.

"I am but your friend Nikolai, I have no issue."

Unexpectedly, the weight of his hand resting on your shoulder sent a shiver down your spine, your silk robe providing little barrier between his warm palm and your skin. It felt as though his touch had set your nerves alight, leaving you with goosebumps despite the delicate fabric that separated you.

His thumb began tracing circles on your shoulder, and you couldn't help but lean into his touch. You felt his fingers slowly making their way down your arm, gently squeezing your skin. He was leaving a trail of fire along your shoulder as they traveled back up to your neck, only to slowly descend down again. With a deft movement, he pulled your silk robe down your shoulder. The unexpected touch sent a jolt of desire through your body.

"You stubborn thing. You don't want to be my friend, Y/N?"

He then swept your hair away, revealing a tantalizing sliver of skin to his gaze. As he leaned down, you felt his warm breath tickling your ear. "Nikolai," you whispered breathlessly.

"Why are you really here, love?" his voice was low and seductive.

You suddenly felt wet, tender kisses trail down your neck, causing your core to ignite. The sound of your mingled breaths and the soft smack of his lips sucking against your skin filled the air. Each touch of his lips made you feel like you were melting, completely powerless to resist him.

His strong hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer into him. You could feel his lower abdomen pressing hard against your backside, making you feel weak in the knees. Without warning, he spun you around to face him, his intense gaze locking onto yours. He leaned in for a kiss with his arms still wrapped tightly around you, as if never wanting to let go.

In that moment, all your doubts and fears faded away. It was just you and him, lost in each other.

You replayed the memory over and over again in your mind. The softness of his lips, the way his hands cupped your face, and the way you felt as though time stood still in that moment. You sighed, sinking further into the memory when a voice interrupted your thoughts.

"Penny for your thoughts, Y/N?"

Your heart skipped a beat, startled out of your reverie. As you turned around, your eyes landed on a tall, dark figure.

"Aleksander!"

The corners of his mouth curved upward, "You seemed to be lost in thought, milaya."

♡ part two coming soon....

soooo my brain was formulating the idea for this concept, and originally it was just supposed to be a one part one shot, but idk i just went off LOL. like holy, i went down a rabbit hole and came back up with enough plot for a series.

should i write a series? let me know what you think!!!

if i do, im imagining there'll be some mutual pining, angst, fluff, and spiiiice - wink wink wink -

if you enjoyed, please support me and my writing by giving me a like, reblog, or follow! thanks ♡♡♡

♡ gage

#nikolai lanstov x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #nikolai x reader x kirigan #shadow and bone season 2 #alina starkov x reader #mal oretsev x reader #kaz brekker x reader #nikolai lantsov #general kirigan #mixed-imagination #sankta alina #tolya yul bataar #tolya x reader #tamar yul bataar #inej x reader #nina zenik #aleksander kirigan #shadow and bone

[ladymarvel27]

Tolya: *sees Wylan and Jesper together* Tolya: They're cute. I would put them on a boat. Tamar: You mean... you ship them?

#wesper #wylan and jesper #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #jesper fahey #six of crows #shadow and bone incorrect quotes #shadow and bone #shadow and bone memes #netflix's shadow and bone #tolya yul bataar #tolya and tamar #tolya x reader #shadow and bone season 2 #shadow and bones season 2 #general kirigan #tamar kir bataar #he is their biggest shipper #memes #incorrect quotes #grishaverse #grishaverse incorrect quotes #grishaverse memes

[euphoniumpets]

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM PROLOGUE

Warnings: violence, blood and gore.

Prompt: ''As long as I can rememer, I've been protecting Alina, it's always Alina who I will protect,'' You told him, looking at Nikolai. ''But who will protect you?''

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Starkov! Reader

A/N: OK, SO, not going to lie, i fell in love as soon I saw Nikolai on screen and this has been on my mind ever since. And yes, I will publish this at the same time I'm writing No mourners, no funerals! Tag list are closed!. I haven't read the king of scars duology yet! so, beware that I've written Nikolai from what I think and from what I've seen in the series and he could be ooc! this series follows season two of shadow and bone but could have some flashbacks during season one.

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - eleven - epilogue

Y/N Starkov. That's all you've ever known of. The older sister of Alina Starkov and the second mapmaker of Ravka. Ever since you were a child, you were known to be at Alina's side and even Mal, your childhood best friend. However, when Mal gets into the Fold with the second Army, you knew, that Alina won't hesitate to do whatever it took to follow into his footsteps.

And you both did follow him through the Fold. However, it didn't go as planned when you get attacked by the Volcra. Seeing Mal on the floor and your sister being dragged by a Volcra, you didn't knew what was happening next.

A bright light that surrounded you and the next thing, your sister was being dragged away to the little palace. You and Mal tried to save your sister while the rumors of the sun summoner traveled fast around the world.

While trying to find the White Stag, you both realize that the plot of the Darkling was not the one you thought. With the betryal of the Darkling, and with Alina defeating him, the three of you is on the run.

While on the run, Alina is plauged by the nightmares as the three of you tried to find the next amplifier, the sea whip and the firebird. However, it was not an easy task and the question is: how long was you willing to go and save Alina, even if it meant to risk your life?

#nikolai lantsov x reader #alina starkov #malyen oretsev #jesper fahey #zoya nazyalensky #tolya yul bataar #tamar kir bataar #aleksander morovoza #the darkling x reader #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone x reader

[lilmoony]

okay everyone. since shadow and bone season 2 is out… please write new fanfics about it 🙏 because i need to use your fanfic as my new drug now. i would be very grateful, thank you!!! <3

#shadow and bone #tolya yul bataar x reader #tamar yul bataar x reader #jesper fahey x reader #kaz brekker x reader #inej ghafa x reader #david kostyk x reader #shadow and bone x reader

[sapphicsaints]

sweet solutions

Tamar Kir-Bataar x female reader

NSFW

A/N: I'm still new to writing these, but theres not a lot of Tamar Kir-Bataar fics anywhere so I figured I'd try my best :) I'd love any feedback.

Summary: You keep slipping your guards and Tamar comes up with a solution.

Warnings: Mentions of violence and slightly spicy content.

Word Count: 3.1k

You were sick of Nikolai’s hovering. Ever since the civil war ended and you returned home, he insisted on always having guards with you. The last straw was when he decided you needed two extra guards – even though there hadn’t been any assassination attempts in months, let alone on palace grounds. 

That night, you convinced a friend to tailor you, and snuck out your window with her at night, going to have a few drinks in one of the many taverns. Later, after she’d fixed your face, you stumbled back through your window, landing on the carpeted floor with an oof. You groaned and slowly pushed yourself up, just to see Tamar sitting on her bed.  

“Oh, you’re finally back”, she said. 

“Yes, why are you in my room?”. 

“Why do you think?” 

“You wanted to raid my closet” You answered, swaying back and forth with a cheeky smile. 

Tamar glared at her, and your mouth snapped shut – her gaze was furious.   

Tamar’s hands rubbed over her face, “I have eyes everywhere”, she said finally. “I haven’t told your brother yet but you’re getting reckless”. 

“Who gave you the right to spy on me?”

“Who gave you the right to sneak away in the middle of the night!”

“I didn’t need the right” you yelled, “I’m not some naive little girl”.

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow”, Tamar said, she pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your forehead. “Go to bed”. 

She headed out the door and you flipped her off behind her back. 

“I saw that”, she yelled out. You’d forgotten about the mirrors. 

You brushed your teeth, washed your face, threw your clothes off, not bothering to change into a nightgown, and collapsed on your bed into a restless sleep. You never could sleep well after drinking. 

-Break- 

You woke up to knocking on your door. 

“Go away” you yelled, pulling your pillow over your head. 

“I’m coming in”, you heard Tamar’s voice. 

She took one look at you sprawled out, half-naked, on your bed and threw a dressing gown at you. You caught it, sat up, and tied it around yourself. 

“You didn’t like the view?”, you said with a pout 

“Oh I liked it”, Tamar winked, “But it’s a bit distracting right now”. You rolled your eyes. 

You rubbed your temples, trying to ease the headache from your hangover. “Any chance you’ll help me with the headache”. 

“Nope. You earned that”. 

You groaned and threw a pillow at her, which she dodged before walking over to sit next to you on the couch. 

“I can get your brother to loosen up on the guards”, she said. 

It seemed too good to be true, you narrowed your eyes, “what’s the catch?” 

“I teach you how to fight”. 

You shuddered. You’d been able to draw with Tamar once. Just once. And you still considered that one of her biggest achievements. The girl was uncanny in a fight – silent and as cold as steel. She loved to tease and antagonize you too, or at least she used to. The two of you hadn’t sparred since Spinning Wheel. 

Your stomach dropped thinking of that place. You’d gone back once to visit with Nikolai and the twins after the war ended. Nikolai decided to permanently close the base, as a memorial. There were too many painful memories littering that large room, the halls, the four flights of stairs that were angels compared to the giant metal contraption Nikolai had rigged.

You’d barely survived the escape from Spinning Wheel, tagging along with a group of first army soldiers. You’d served in the first army as infantry – following in your brother's footsteps. Marksmanship was your best skill – and you could hit a target 500 feet away easily. It was pure luck you came across the Soldat Sol and Alina’s group a few days before the ambush. Luckily, they recognized you and you convinced them to let you join in on the ambush. 

“It’s my country too” you argued. You proved your skills with a rifle and they let you fight. Alina had argued against you going, but Tamar stood up for you. You’d grown closer since she’d decided to stay at the little palace. Neither of you had put an official label on what you had, but you both understood you were exclusive – Tamar had a jealous streak. Something you liked to tease her about, in good faith. Your brother liked to dangle the possibility of an engagement to you with influential nobles and foreigners as a bargaining tool. He knew not to cross the line and try and set up a real engagement, last time he brought up marriage you decked him in the face. His pride prevented him from getting the bruise healed. There was zero chance you’d end up with some grubby-handed noble, and your brother understood that. 

You came out of your daze, turning to look at Tamar 

“When do we start?”

“I have some things to do but I’ll find you mid-afternoon”. 

You nodded, “Alright”. 

Tamar gave you a quick kiss before you left. You caught yourself smiling for a few moments after she left, holding a hand up to your lips, 

“Pathetic” you mumbled under your breath. 

Tamar did find you later in the library, you were brushing up on some liturgical Ravkan. It was horribly dull but you wanted to keep up with your language studies. She laughed at your choice of reading and put the book aside before pulling you up out of your seat. You were excited about the lesson. 

“No weapons”, Tamar said, starting to off her axes, pistols, dagger, and all of the other weapons she carried on her at what seemed like all times. 

‘She probably sleeps with them’ you thought. 

You took out your pistol, pulled the daggers out of your boot, inside your shirt, and the ones tucked into your waistband. The war had left a sense of paranoia in you, and your weapons almost felt like a safety blanket. You felt a bit naked without them. 

“Your hair knife”, Tamar said with an amused expression 

“I almost forgot about that, thank you” You replied genuinely, and you had forgotten about it. It was a dull blade – it wouldn’t cut through your hair, but someone would feel it if you jammed it into their eyes. Once that was removed, you both took up your stances. Tamar tweaked your form, pushing your front elbow in slightly. 

You felt nerves trickle up into her, you’re a little rusty on hand-to-hand combat – and haven’t been practicing as much as you should’ve. Tamar leapt into action without warning – silent, cold, and deadly as always. Your nerves started to disappear as you dodged the first blow, and the second, the third landed and winded you a bit, but you aimed a knee right for Tamar’s stomach – and it hit before the other girl lifted your knee to push you right on your back. You wasted no time rolling to her feet, skipping the kick, and this time running straight towards her, you faked a blow to Tamar’s stomach and went straight for the headbutt, your forehead smashing into her nose. It was something of a classic move of yours. But, Tamar didn’t miss a beat. She took the chance to trip you, and fell on top of you, straddling your waist. When you kept trying to punch her, she pinned your wrists down to your side. 

Tamar was too strong for you to buck off with your hips, so you just squirmed as much as you could, bringing her leg up to push against a certain area … Tamar jumped in surprise and you took the chance to flip her over, you on top this time. She hesitated too long, and Tamar flipped you so your back was pressed against her chest, her legs locking yours down, and with you in a headlock. 

Tamar POV

Y/N did well in their first round. Tamar released her from the hold and stood up, offering the other girl a hand, she yanked her up, so her mouth was close to her ear. “Good one princess”, she said in a low tone. Her face flushed and she pushed Tamar away. Tamar loved teasing her, they’d grown closer since Tamar and Tolya decided to stay on with the King. Everyone knew they were together in some way, but the two of them hadn’t put a label on anything. 

“Again”, she said. 

They went another round. The fight lasted almost the same length, and Y/N was giving everything she had, Tamar didn’t hold back. It ended with Y/N on her back again, Tamar straddling her – carefully positioned so she couldn’t pull the same trick, although Tamar thought she really wouldn’t mind it. She shook that thought from her head before standing and offering another hand. She whispered in her ear again this time, 

“I think you can do better than that”. 

Tamar saw the fire build in Y/N’s eyes. The last round was a good one, Y/N’s movements were more aggressive, and she hesitated less – but she had some tells. She would give the smallest bounce before she made any move. Although she seemed on fire, Tamar could sense her growing tired. Y/N had landed awkwardly at some point, and even though she got back up – Tamar noticed her wincing and favoring her left shoulder. Tamar ended the fight quickly. 

She stood up again, on shaky legs, “another”. 

Tamar shook her head, “that’s enough for today”. 

“Come on, please”

“No”, Tamar gave Y/N a look that told her it was the end of the conversation. Y/N rolled her eyes but let Tamar wrap her arm around her waist and lead her back inside. She walked her to her doors, intending to say goodnight there but Y/N pulled her inside, closing the doors behind her. 

“Why haven’t you actually kissed me yet?” Y/N blurted out. They’d been flirting and dodging around each other for weeks. Tamar relished the stolen moments, small kisses, and general affection they had together but feared pushing anything too far. 

Tamar’s eyes raised, “Why haven’t you kissed me?” 

“Because I’ve been waiting on you”. 

Tamar reached for her, one arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her flush against her body – the other hand came up to fist the hair on the back of her head. The kiss wasn’t gentle, it was rough and full of passion. 

Y/N looked down at her clothes, “I need to change”. She walked off to the corner without another word and started stripping out of her clothes. She threw them into a corner before walking towards her bathroom, “feel free to join me”, she said turning back to look at Tamar, as she headed to fill up her bath. 

Y/N must have seen how Tamar’s jaw dropped through a mirror, she said “Close your mouth. You’ll catch flies”

Her mouth snapped shut, her cheeks flushing. Tamar wasn’t surprised often, but Y/N seemed to have a knack for it. 

“At least I’m not on duty tonight”, she thought to herself. Tamar wanted Y/N to be officially hers. They’d dodged around the conversation for a while, preferring to show each other how they felt through actions. They’d also avoided anything too intimate – holding hands, cuddling, and small kisses were about all they’d shared.  

She was lost in her thoughts for a few moments before she stripped and followed the princess into the bathroom. She admired her figure, lean muscle, with scars littering her arms and torso. A black sun tattoo stands out on her upper right shoulder. Tamar had given it to her the night before the ambush. She turned and caught sight of her rosy, pale nipples and forced herself to look Y/N in the eyes. 

Y/N  POV 

“Like what you see?” You asked with a flourish, filling the bath with hot, soapy water. You were pleasantly surprised Tamar had decided to follow her. It was your boldest move yet – and she was hoping it would pay off. 

“Yes, yes I do” Tamar’s eyes were roaming over her body, taking in every inch of her. You were doing the same, from the glint of muscle on her forearms to the perfect shape of her breasts, and the chiseled lines built into her stomach. 

You turned and climbed into the tub, waving Tamar over to follow you. The other girl rolled her eyes, it was a ridiculously oversized tub, ornate and ugly. You hated it and knew Tamar thought it was obscene. 

“This is the gaudiest tub I’ve ever seen”, you commented as she settled in the water. Tamar moved behind her, letting you rest up against her – she hummed in contentment. 

“Let me clean you up”, she said – Tamar reached for a rag and started dabbing at your split lip from training and scrubbed away the dirt you’d accumulated during the day. You turned around and returned the favor. You sat, enjoying each other’s presence, till the water started turning cold. Tamar climbed out first, lending you her hand, and grabbed two towels for both of you. 

You toweled yourself off, heading towards your wardrobe. You found a pair of comfortable loose black pants that looked like they could fit Tamar, and a rough spun top. You tossed them towards her and Tamar caught them gracefully, slipping on the clothes. 

You looked out the window, it was getting late – the sun had already set – and they’d missed dinner. Towel wrapped around you, you turned to Tamar, “will you spend the night with me?” you asked, a bit afraid of the answer. 

“If you want me to I will”. 

“But do you want to” You pushed 

“I do” Tamar smiled, she slipped around her and pulled out one of her old nightgowns she never uses anymore – 

“Here, I like this,” she said, you elbowed her but Tamar’s expression was serious. You sighed and dramatically rolled your eyes, 

“If you insist,” you said, quickly slipping it on. You grabbed a blue dressing gown and tied it around herself, “wait here”, she said, heading towards the doorway, “I’ll get us some dinner”. 

You took a secret passage out to the kitchens and saw Enya in there, cleaning up the last of dinner. 

“Any leftovers for me?” You asked

Enya jumped, “Quit scaring me”, she threw a towel at you. You ducked it and laughed. You’d grown up around Enya, and she was one of the few adults that didn’t treat her differently. 

“I’ll send you up a tray, now shoo,” she said. 

“Could it be two?” You asked. 

Enya hmphed but nodded, waving you away. 

You hurried back to her room as quickly as you could. You were happy Tamar was still inside, leaning back in an armchair, reading one of your books. She closed it as you entered the room. 

“What was that all about?” she asked. 

“Getting us some food” you smiled. 

“You could’ve rung for someone? That’s what your brother does”

“I like to visit Enya” 

“You know the kitchen staff?” Tamar asked, without a tone of surprise, more one of admiration 

“I did grow up here” you replied to her. 

You flopped down onto Tamar’s lap. “I hate these rooms” 

“Hm … why?” Tamar started kissing down her shoulder, biting gently near her neck as Y/N let out a small moan. 

“They’re too lonely”. 

Tamar stopped and turned her head to look at her. The other girl shrugged her shoulders and Tamar pulled her in for a kiss. 

“Move in with me”, she said without thinking. 

“I would in a heartbeat” 

“What would your brother say?” 

“Who cares”

“He is technically my employer” 

“He would never get rid of you” 

Tamar just hummed in reply. 

“Plus, he hasn’t quit telling me to make a move on you” 

Tamar leaned back to look at her, “Funny. Zoya’s been saying the same thing to me”. 

“Maybe we’re both just idiots”

“Just you, princess”. 

“Okay, humbug” 

“No”, Tamar started laughing

“Humbug” Y/N said in a sing-song voice. 

Tamar pinched her side, Y/N  squirmed in her lap, “Quit doing that”. 

Tamar whispered into her ear “Quit moving like that”. 

“Are you sure you want me to”, she answered, slightly breathless 

Then, a knock sounded on the door and you leapt up to answer it. You opened it and found two trays left on a table outside, ‘Enya must’ve told them to do that’, you thought. 

You smiled and brought the food in – it was your favorite type of meal. A bowl of some sort of stew, some bread, and grapes. You threw a grape at Tamar, who caught it in her mouth. 

You ate in silence; you didn’t realize how hungry you both were and devoured your food – it tasted like heaven. After you finished, you silently stood up to take the trays back outside the door. When you turned back around, you started to feel shy – and maybe a bit insecure. 

Tamar POV

As Y/N turned back to look at her, Tamar could see the hesitation on her face. She stood up to meet Y/N halfway, and pulled her into her arms, “are you sure you want me to stay?”

Y/N pulled her face back to look at Tamar, she leaned up on her toes and kissed her, “yes”, she said and kissed her again.  

Tamar grinned before picking her up and spinning her around. Y/N laughed, and it was a sweet sound. She picked her up, letting her wrap her legs around her waist, and carried her to the bed. They collapsed onto it together, a tangle of limbs and laughter.

“Can we just sleep?” Y/N asked, her voice quiet. 

“Of course, love,” Tamar said, she pulled the girl in closer, and let her cuddle up on her chest. She ran her fingers through her hair, and slowly fell asleep – listening to the sound of her heartbeat.

Y/N is an early riser like Tamar, she felt the other girl slip out of bed in the morning. She sat up to see Y/N standing next to one of the mirrors in the room, tilting her head to the side. Y/N slowly turned around, hands on her hips,

“TAMAR KIR-BATAAR” she screeched. 

“Yes?” she answered slowly. 

“What is this?” Y/N pointed at a purple bruise forming on her neck, stalking back over to the bed. 

“It’s a gift” Tamar grinned. 

“Take it back”

“No”

“Can’t you fix it?”

“I won't” 

Y/N groaned and Tamar pulled her in for another kiss.

#tamar x reader #tamar kir bataar x reader #tamar kir bataar #shadow and bone #grishaverse #grishaversefanfic #fanfiction #oneshot #grishaverse imagine

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

could you write a drabble for either Tolya or Tamar where they give the reader a gift and it used to belong to their mom or something??

I am going to go with Tamar because YES.

All The Softer Parts Of You And I - Tamar Kir Bataar

Content Warnings: Canon Compliant Injury And Threat. Not Beta/Proof Read.

"Poor thing, who did this to you?" Tamar asks, running a hand over your bruises. You laugh her concern off as she heals you.

"It was just some training, Tamar, I don't heal as quickly as you, and I break easier," you remind her gently.

"Want me to kiss it better?" She asks, dancing her finger across your skin. Your Tamar, your sweet, thoughtful, beautiful, fierce Tamar, you'd love that. But before you answer her Tolya gives a small groan from across the room.

"Stop being a baby," Tamar tells him. Tolya throws you a look of fake offence about his sister's dismissal of his pain and you just smile at him.

"I am going to go heal in a... more considerate environment," Tolya says, getting to his feet and shooting his sister a look.

Tamar wraps her arms around you, pulling you in closer, softly, you feel your pain lessening under her touch and it could be her skills or it could just be her, you're never quite sure.

She places a soft kiss in the space between your neck and your shoulder. And you offer her a soft smile, lacing your fingers into hers.

"I have been thinking," Tamar says.

"Dangerous," you joke, "do tell me more."

"Are you looking for a fight?" She asks, her tone all jovial and full of love as she plants another kiss in the crook of your neck.

"I wouldn't dare," you say, "you'd snap me faster than a book spine."

"I don't know about that," Tamar's fingers dance along your arm as she thinks, "I'm a little too fond of you."

"Fond of me? Is that what you are?" You ask, staring into those golden eyes, getting lost and not caring that you might never find your way out again.

"I am very fond of you," she corrects, tapping your nose. "Now do you want to hear what I have been thinking about?"

"I assumed we had," you lean back, breaking the eye contact. She notices your nervousness and she chuckles.

"You've got nothing to worry about," she assures you, reaching into her pocket for something. The twine wrapped crystal and wooden beads is a bracelet you recognise, it looked a little different the last time you saw it, Tamar had been wearing it when you'd met her, and she'd almost always had it on, but it disappeared from her wrist a short while ago and you never got around to asking. It looks fixed, like some of the twine has been replaced with something new and stronger.

"You fixed it," you say.

"It was my mothers," Tamar explains, "well the original pieces were anyway, the stone, the beads, and a small part of the holding, the twine has been changed in and out over the years. She used to have many bracelets like this, all different stones, for different reasons."

"Obsidian," you observe, twisting the black stone between fingers.

"I fixed it for you," Tamar says.

"For me?" you ask, not able to hide the surprise as your voice jumps up and your eyes light up.

"I am fond of you," Tamar reminds you.

"This was your mothers," you repeat, staring at the bracelet in your hand, trying to bring yourself into the understanding of how Tamar is parting with such a sentimental thing, for you. Tamar leans over, wrapping the bracelet around your wrist.

"And now it's yours," Tamar says. You kiss her then, properly for the first time in her visit, soft but with intention, arms wrapped around her neck, pulling her close. A smile breaks through the kiss and you find yourself chuckling.

"You know, if you asked me to marry you tomorrow, Tamar, I'd say yes," you admit.

"What about today?"

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #tamar kir bataar #tamar x reader #tamar kir bataar x reader #tamar kir bataar fic

[syllvane]

soldier, poet, king - tolya yul-bataar x reader

a/n: reader is sister of nikolai, feminine pronouns are used but no physical characteristics are ever described. ty for all of the love <3

Your brother would fire him if he found out that you had even considered Tolya in a romantic way. Not out of any disdain for him- out of anyone you could have grown fondness for, you were sure that Nikolai would prefer Tolya over the numerous suitors that waited for you back at Os Alta, but out of a protectiveness of you, as if you weren't perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.

“What are you thinking about?” Tamar asked, leaning against the wooden side of the ship, bright eyes looking at you.

”Nothing.”

“You know I can tell when you're lying.”

”When has that ever stopped me?”

Tamar scoffed, a smile pulling at the edges of her lips.

“Never,” She said, her eyes shining. “I don't know why I even ask, your heart only beats like that when you're thinking about my brother.”

Your heart jumped and Tamar let out another breathy laugh, feeling it without any effort.

“Too easy.” She said smugly and you rolled your eyes.

“Not funny.”

“Speak for yourself, moya tsarevna.” She said and you cringed at the title.

“As soon as Nik becomes king, I’m banning you from using that title.”

“Not Tolya though?” She asked, raising an eyebrow and gave her a look.

“I’m going to push you off this boat.”

A firm arm went around your shoulders, startling you and from the other side of you, Tolya grinned down at you.

“Now you know I love you, but why are you threatening to throw my sister off the boat?” He asked jokingly and you prayed to every Saint that your heart wasn’t going as fast as you felt it was.

You looked at Tamar and instantly regretted it, barely contained laughter on her lips.

“As first mate, I demand it.” You said stoically in response, a small smile on your lips and Tolya raised his eyebrows, removing his arm from your shoulder.

“Well, we should at least run it by Sturmhond.” 

“Oh who are we kidding, he’d choose you over me everyday.” You joked, able to relax more now that you weren’t in direct contact with Tolya.

“I’ll choose you then.” Tolya said and your smile softened at the sweetness of the sentiment.

“Spoken like a poet.” Tamar teased and Tolya scoffed, but beamed at the accusation.

“Do you think you would be happy, living a life like the one Nikolai and I had?”

“Back in the castle?” Tolya asked and you nodded. “I mean, I know you’re both going to go back eventually. Me and Tamar will be there as your guards.”

“Not as guards though, as… forget it, I’m just being silly.”

Tolya looked at you, studied for you for a moment with only the moonlight illuminating your features, peering off into seemingly endless sea.

“It’s not silly.” He said, moving so that he was ever so slightly closer to you. “I’ve never really thought about it before. Do you think I’d make a good noble?”

“No,” You answered quickly. “You’re too kindhearted. You’re too good.”

“So are you.” Tolya argued and you smiled.

“And I’m hardly the picture of good noble, I ran off with my older brother to play pirate- sorry privateer.”  You said. “I’ve always been a better soldier than princess, much to my mother’s dismay. I used to sneak off and follow Nikolai to his basic training instead of go to etiquette classes.”

Tolya snorted and you couldn’t help the smile that appeared on your face.

“I’m glad you skipped your etiquette classes, I like you how you are.”

Your heart jumped. Tolya looked over at you but didn’t say anything.

“Why do you ask? About me being a noble?” He pressed and you shook your head.

“As much as maybe me and Nik want it to, this can’t last forever. We have to go home at some point, him to try to take the throne that Vasily has never wanted, and me to sit around as set dressing, I suppose. To get married. I just… it really is silly, Tolya.” You said, standing up and preparing to walk away before he stood up and quickly caught your wrist, making you look at him.

“Tell me.” He said softly, letting go of your wrist. “Please.”

You took a step closer to him before grabbing his hand and putting it on the cloth covering your heart.

“Do you really not know?” You took a deep breath, painfully aware of how fast your heart was racing. “I’m not asking for marriage or anything like that, I’m asking… I don’t know what I’m asking.”

“May I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

His hands moved to your shoulders and he leaned down, pressing his lips against yours gently. He pulled away, his hands still on you.

“As long as you will have me, I will be here.” 

#tolya yul bataar x reader #tolya x reader #tolya yul bataar #tolya yul-bataar x reader #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #six of crows imagines #six of crows imagine #six of crows #grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse x reader #tolya and tamar #nikolai lantsov

[jeanbie]

SHARKBAIT ★ masterlist.

pairing: tolya x reader

warnings: long distance relationships, set after s2 | wc: 6.9k

note: i'm pining over tolya right now. also i know a loooot of fans view tolya as aroace so hopefully this reaches the right audience (and if the show runners or leigh ever confirm this then pls tell me)!!

⏤ Tolya can go months without seeing your face, but he can make out your shape in the darkness of the ship when you steal your visits, fleeing when the sun begins to light up the decks.

Tolya knew what it meant to long, to pine, to wonder and yearn for something you couldn't have. He saw it a thousand times with his poems, between the lines and in each stanza where a romance formed with metaphors and analogies; he saw it in his crew as they busied themselves across an unsteady ocean, searching for purpose and meaning in the vastness of blue and brown. He even saw it in his sister and passing maidens, in his captain and his need to be seen as something more than an amplifier, and he saw it in his own life- with his faith and his resilience, with his own novice works of poetry tucked into journals in his bunk, and in the whispers of silence between the two of you whenever he saw you again, and especially in the stretches of days where he didn't see you at all.

On board the Volkvolny, for what felt like years on end, Tolya had nothing but time to become familiar with what it meant to long. He'd stare out across the expanse of the sea, outlining your body in the clouds as they dipped below the horizon, in the waves rippling under the ship as it sailed away from Os Kervo to Kerch. Sometimes he thought he could make out your shape in the darkness of his bunk, a thin ghostly outline come to haunt him in his sleep, to torment his dreams. Often he woke up to a fading outline of body just to the side of his hammock, remembering that you weren't there, and wouldn't be for some time.

He supposed that he was lucky to be on this ship, with the world at his hands. There were days where he was so caught up in the passion of his work, alongside his never-faltering faith, that he didn't have time to think of you, instead only stumbling into your body through dreams, where you came to him as easily as the sea to the shore. Today hadn't been one of those days, and he feared that the crew on board the Volkvolny knew it too well.

It started off with his last nightmare. Taking steps together on a shoreline that looked like it belonged to a dip of earth in Shu Han, Tolya met you on the sands, his hand slotted into your own as he followed behind you, stepping into your sunken footprints. Tolya had been inches from your mouth before he was ripped away with the sound of horns and laughter, drops of water leaking through the deck overhead. Work was demanding his consciousness, and the image of you remained only on his eyelids as he groaned, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He'd gone about his day relatively normally after that, or about as normally as he could stomach it. Tamar had seen the worst of his mood- she watched him heave himself up the stairs to the deck with a frown deep on his face, an ache at the corner of his lips tugging down. The front he performed of happiness did little to arouse his crewmates, although they joined the spectacle, letting him think he was giving a performance of a lifetime.

For a while, his mood had settled. He'd only counted seeing you in hallucinations maybe three times, but he'd stopped counting after the third, and couldn't be sure if his mind was allowing him to stick with three for the sake of his own sanity. He'd spotted you in the twist of water under the bowsprit, once in the ripple of the sails and again in the clouds. After the third, his mood was so sour that he opted to be silent for the day's voyage. People never thought they'd miss the sound of his poetry until he took his pitiful vows of silence.

Saints, how he missed you. Each time you were gone, Tolya regretted every second of silence between the two of you, every time he passed up the chance to tell you how much he loved you. And each time you were here, back with him in his arms, he couldn't seem to find the words. You weren't part of the crew on voyage with the Volkvolny, although you were never not welcome as far as Sturmhond was concerned. It was just that you preferred being on land, seeking out thrills and leads and injustice, trying to piece together the gaps in your history. Tolya knew that was what held you to the Crows, and what Inej often said was your lifeline away from him. Still, Tolya yearned for the days you were back with him, however short and fleeting. Months could pass at sea and when he saw you again, it would be like no time had passed at all.

Kerch loomed in the distance. From the crow's nest, he was told that through the spyglass, the oblong shapes of Ketterdam ports could be seen, the buildings packed together tightly and the smoke rising in the air, thick and dark like fires were blooming in the streets. It would be about two days of sailing, if the winds kept up, but if they were lucky, they might arrive ahead of schedule. Tolya couldn't count the moments quick enough- two days would be agonising until he saw you again.

"Yeesh. I kinda miss your poetry right now." Tamar crept up from behind Tolya on the hull of the ship. Not far from where Tolya was standing, with his elbows holding his body up on the side of the beams, was Jacob's ladder, hitting the side of the vessel with irritating small clicks.

Tolya glanced at her, a smile naturally falling into place. As foul as his mood might have been, there was always room in his heart for his sister. "That's something I'll never hear you say again."

His sister grinned. "I'm serious! Go on, give me something?"

Tolya replied with quiet laughter, and Tamar did the same. The twins shared their laughter for a moment before finishing in silence, and Tamar stole a glance as her brother cast his gaze to the water, curving like ribbons around the underbelly of the ship.

"Missing her?" she asked softly.

Tolya rolled his eyes, but saying nothing was as good as admitting it. 

"You know," Tamar continued, spinning so her back was pressed against the beams, "you could always just ask her to come with you." She gestured to the prow, "come with us."

"She wouldn't want to do that," Tolya said, shaking his head.

"Oh, so you asked her already?"

"Well— no."

"Then how'd you know?" 

Tolya sighed, twisting his head. He knew that you were as good as a Crow— although not exactly affiliated in whatever Kaz did or did not do, anybody who knew you knew that you did work for Kaz that filled the gap Inej made on the quest to find her brother. Even before that, you'd told Tolya that Kaz occasionally found himself asking for your help with requests that extended outside of his immediate access. You had been of some help to him finding the name of the slaver ships and traders, of which the Volkvolny was sailing back to Kerch to deliver rescued shipment (one lacking Inej's brother in tow, and the slaver who sold them). 

Your place was on land, on high ground. A bird could fly at sea, yes, but he feared you'd grow restless with little purpose on the ship. Everybody had a place and a role—he knew that simply being there for him wouldn't be a good enough reason for you to abandon whatever work you had unfinished on dry land, which is why he'd never asked you to come in the first place.

Tolya turned to face Tamar, eyeing her side-profile as she meticulously assessed the state of the ship. Many crewmates were down below, rifling through Shu poker cards and coins and sharing ghost stories with cups of ale and wine. 

"Have you ever been so scared of losing something good?" he asked suddenly, making Tamar look back at him. 

"All the time," she replied. 

Tolya dared a glance back at the ocean, relieved that he didn't find you there. "Every time I see her again, it's like magic. Bigger and grander than any kind of Saint-like act. She becomes the most important thing in the room." He blinked. "I don't want that feeling to go away."

Tamar tilted her head, as if to say, 'Go on'. There was a comfort in their twinnish bond, but even with that, Tolya struggled to find the words. Writing poetry was easy—every embarrassing thought could be passed off as fictional prose, but in a conversation it wasn't quite as easy to put on a façade. At the best of times, Tolya was as cool as a sea-cucumber, with an easy going air that put people at ease. Just another performance of a lifetime, but he didn't have to pretend sometimes when he was with his sister.

"We're just very different," Tolya said cautiously, almost like he didn't believe it were true as he said it. "I'm worried she might grow too used to me. Might get restless."

"Bored, you mean?" Tamar interrupted. When Tolya said nothing, she threw herself into extended conversation, "Brother, she adores you. That kind of love is special. And if she didn't love you more when you were doing what you do best- as in, meandering around this beast with your poetry and stupid jokes-" He looked at her with a rising smile- "-then you'd be better off for it."

His stomach churned. He didn't want to be better off without you. 

"Besides," Tamar offered her last words of comfort before pushing herself up and away from him, "there are thousands of men and women in the world for her to see each passing day, and yet she still falls into those arms of yours when we arrive in Ketterdam. If she can love you from a hundred miles away, then I think she'll manage loving you and your quirks on the open sea."

There was an insufferable ache in Tolya's chest whenever he thought back to his conversation with Tamar. 

He'd busied himself the next day, throwing himself into heavy work around the ship as it sailed nearer to the coastline. His crewmates were thankful to see him in reasonably good spirits— Sturmhond had been particularly put off by his lack of comedic timing the day before, and had tried to think back to his own experiences with Alina back in Ravka, putting the pieces together in his own time— but they knew it was bought time with Tolya's pleasantries. Tolya wouldn't be at ease until they docked and only then could his mind be put at ease. It was always the days before returning to Ketterdam where Tolya seemed at his darkest, and it had happened enough times that they should all be used to it, but the sight of his downturned face never got any easier to process.

Night ensued, the moon casting a fickle light to the ocean as it lulled to a cool and calm tempo. The winds were kind tonight, not carrying the wind in an angry gust, and the waves were short and fluid. No storms hid behind thick flurries of clouds, and the creatures below whipped their fins and tails in harmony— no trouble would come tonight, he thought, and glad of it.

Tolya lay in his hammock, staring at the wooden boards above his head. Around him, his crew slept in peaceful slumbers, and to the far side of the room he could see the auburn light of Sturmhond's—now Mal, now that the charade was over— little black lamp sheltered next to a book he'd inherited with his title, now reading to fall asleep. Tolya sighed, his gaze back above. 

The glow of light to his left allowed room for your shape to slowly appear, just an outline that got more hazy in his memory as the months went by. He gulped, the lump in his throat hard and sour tasting, and he closed his eyes quickly to throw away the image of you. Yet you remained, imprinted on his eyelids, smiling as he found sleep to take him away into the night.

When he awoke, he could hear the caw of gulls and loud voices beyond the ship, louder than what he knew his crew to be capable of. Tolya stirred for a moment before coming to his senses, his eyes honing in on the same spot he'd last seen you in above his slumbering form. The forecastle was bathed with yellow light, with the sun at an angle pouring down through the hatch to the upper deck, and as he awoke, Tolya could smell the distinct scent of crab hooks and wet moss, the lingering scent of oil and sewage and copper. Strange, he thought.

Balancing on the hammock, Tolya raised himself with his elbow and stole a glance around the forecastle. Two men lay snoring, too drunk the night before, and he noticed a third figure at the foot of his hammock, their back to him but hiding nothing about their identity. His heart lurched, he baulked, and the hammock twisted beneath him with a sudden jolt and his body was sent to the floor with a thud and a grunt.

"Easy, sharkbait."

Tolya's head whipped up quickly, the click in his neck aching. It was you- Y/N, his beloved Y/N, dressed in a blue coat that looked like Mal's. Underneath you wore a dark brown shirt tucked into your trousers—today the attire was more casual, for when you were at work you wore black and black alone. Inej told him it was to blend in with the night, but Tolya reckoned it was also because it flattered you.

You smiled at him warmly, laughing when he didn't move from the floor.

"Come on. Don't tell me after a few months you've forgotten this face?"

Tolya's mouth opened and closed. "What—no! How could I—wait, is that Mal's coat?"

He heard your laugh again as you drew near, pulling his bicep to pick him up off the floor. You were more than capable of pulling his weight, but you still found fun in pretending you couldn't. Tolya rose from the floor, both of his salt-soaked hands gently wrapping around your wrists as he faced you. A smile dawned on his lips as he drank in the image of you; fully fleshed out, solid, real, not a figment of his desperate imagination.

"I saw him up top," you told him. "He looks good as Sturmhond, right? I was almost charmed." You said it with a grin that made Tolya think otherwise, and you shuffled closer towards his torso, the action welcomed as his grip fastened slightly around your arms. 

"Charmed enough to take his clothes?" Tolya asked. He knew that there would never be anything there with Mal—Saints, everybody knew that. Mal was too busy having his own mental quarrels with Alina to entertain the thought of somebody else, and well, you seemed perfectly content being charmed by a different captain below deck, smiling at you with sleep still hanging in his eyes.

"I always did look good in blue," you said.

Tolya hummed. "Yeah."

Falling into a silence, Tolya's eyes flickered across your face, soaking up the sight of you, making a mental note of what had changed while he'd been away. Not much, he found, bar a few scratches across your left cheek flanking down to your chin, and a greenish bruise under your eye. He frowned, moving his hand to ghost his fingers across the painted skin. Meanwhile, you did the same, observing changes in his appearance, concluding every detail: the richer tan across his skin, the stubbly pricks of hair around his jawline and the appearance of a new mark under his right nostril. Drunk on the image of him, you fixed your eyes back on his, surprised to see him already looking.

"What're you doing down here anyway, sharkbait?" you asked. Your voice was lower, quieter and softer, but he knew it had nothing to do with a shift in mood. Instead, you were just simply close enough for him to hear you without strain, close enough to hear you whisper, to hear you breathing. 

Tolya offered a boyish smile. "You know."

"Had a long night?"

"Terribly long."

"What, enjoying someone's company til sunrise?" you teased, entertaining what could be signs of an insecurity in the bilge of your belly. Tolya pretended to ignore it, yet his heart sank nonetheless. 

"Come on, you know me better than that," he laughed, bringing you in closer to him. Tolya nestled his nose against yours, moving it across your face to your cheekbone and closing you in with his arms around your shoulders. He sighed, comfortable. He'd missed this, the way your body felt against his, the way your arms felt around him. Saints, he'd missed this. Tolya took in a breath, his nose above your ear. "I've missed you."

Tolya heard a hum near his sternum, rumbling with a small vibration. It made his body bristle slightly but he warmed to your touch, his arms tightening around you.

"Me too, moi sol ye tselai," you replied, feeling his nose twitch as a smile grew on his face. 

For a moment you stayed like that, entangled in the quiet of the forecastle. Tolya didn't waste a single second of it, not after the torment he'd given himself just hours before. After some time, Tolya felt you wiggling in his arms and he relaxed, opening the distance between you as he leaned back to look at your face. You looked back at him with a smile, head angled up to marvel at him, and Tolya's eyes shifted into crescent moons as he brought his head down to kiss you. 

His one hand cradled the side of your face, the other at the back of your neck, and you made no resists to his advancements. Tolya kissed you deeply, lost in the familiar taste of your lips, sweet like the breakfast you must have ate before coming down here. He felt you kiss him back, the pressures combined, your hands up around his wrists. Your head leaned back slightly, his dominance slightly more assertive, as he captured your lips once, twice, thrice, never allowing a minute of rest.

When he did pull back, he was met with your widened eyes, shining in the light, and you bit down on your bottom lip to try and refrain from a smile. He saw it anyway, kissing you once more in a swift gesture and bringing himself back in what he thought was a commendable act of self restraint.

"I take it we are in Ketterdam," he asked, more of like a statement. It had to be true, since you were here. Unless he was dreaming, which he had a sinking feeling that he could be, perhaps trapped in a powerful lucid dream, some kind of sleep paralysis that had him smooching something akin to a squid on the prow. Unlikely, but not impossible, given his mood these days.

"How else would I be here?" you replied with a gentle laugh. 

He held you by your waist as you turned, observing the forecastle he sometimes called home. Tolya freed his grasp with reluctance, holding your fingers til the last second and he fell forward a few steps trying to grab you back. You moved around the hammocks, ducking under a lamp with a feigned interest in the bunks. Tolya didn't like to use his heartrending on you, but he could hear your hammering heartbeat even without using his talents. He smiled in private, watching you with adoration.

"I arrived here as soon as you docked," you explained, still looking around. Tolya hummed with interest, leaning his weight against a support beam. "I was having breakfast with Nina when Jesper told me that your Volkvolny was coming to the harbour. I finished, paid and came here as fast as I could. You didn't meet me at the deck, but it was so early, I figured you'd be sleeping. I greeted your crew, shook hands with your new captain, hugged Tamar, stole a coat and then came down here." You smiled, spinning back to look at him. Your bravado was complete. "To answer your question—yes. Welcome back to Ketterdam."

Tolya loved when you launched into explanations like this. He had a series of entries in a journal you shared where you'd given full detailed accounts of your adventures, but the ink never did justice to the words as you said them. Tolya's grin widened. 

"Kaz wanted to speak with you, too," you added, stepping back towards him and stretching out your hand. Tolya's stomach churned again when he took it with his own, feeling the small blisters across your skin from all your ropework and midnight affairs as an unofficial Crow. Like his own, actually, littered with chafes and burns from the ropes to the masts, sea salted splits across his hands whenever he got too heavy handed around the deck or in other ports. 

"Let's go up, then."

You led the way, all the way to the stairs where Tolya enjoyed watching you ascend before following. It'd been a minute, he'd take whatever he could to feel like everything was good again. Once he stepped up out of the dappled light of the forecastle, he cringed in the brightness of the sun. It was never very bright in Ketterdam, but anything was brighter than the lamplight below. The harbour was alive with noise and merchants. He never missed the smell of Ketterdam, although he admitted that it was a stench that one really did grow accustomed to, as it were with any foreign harbour.

From the deck, he could see the stretch of sea behind him and back ahead, a small cluster of faces across the way. He knew them all already, each by both name and face, and he stepped towards his sister-in-command with you close in tow. His body shivered when your hands smoothed around his middle to manoeuvre around him and Tolya watched you meet your hip with Inej's. Tolya spared another hungry glance at you and then looked back at Kaz expectantly, as he launched into an explanation on affairs in Ketterdam.

The Volkvolny would stay in Ketterdam just shy of a day, giving Tolya more anxiety than it did comfort. There wouldn't be enough time for him to remind you of how much he missed you, and there was certainly no privacy for him to put it into actions instead of words. But business needed to be swift, that was if they wanted a good chance at catching the ships that both you and Kaz felt could hold the secrets to Inej's brothers' whereabouts. The Crow Club was magnificent, but no place for a love-filled reunion, and he couldn't see either of you feeling particularly romantic in the streets. With the Volkvolny being groomed for their next sail, Tolya resorted to holding you close at all times, with meaningful stares and listening with colourful interest about your life over a table in the club, while Kaz oversaw his business and friends reunited once more. Tolya ate up what he could learn about your life during the three months he was at sea.

You had been working with Kaz to crack down harder on slavery leads, finding nothing much about your own family and little to nothing about anybody else's. Inej had been given a much narrower list of names thanks to your good work on the streets, and Tolya heard from Jesper that you'd been a useful asset to the Crow's, although always declined the hospitality of their affiliation for some reason. Meanwhile Tolya offered what he thought might interest you the most about his time away; battles against rough waves, giant squids and krakens lurching from below, sharks and dolphins scratching the surface of the water with their fins chased by swirling serpents; funny tales from travellers in different ports, a retelling of Mal's first night getting drunk at sea. 

Tolya thought, as you mused and laughed opposite him at the table with your friends and found-family, that you were most beautiful when you were off guard. As he stared at you, he felt his heart tug once more. In just a few hours, there'd be nothing left to look at, just shadows in the dark, voices in the wind mimicked by sirens as they fondled the underbelly of the boat, enticing deaf ears to the water as the crew grumbled and sang over their call. The thought of leaving you made him feel sick.

He briefly thought about what Tamar had said. It was true that Tolya had never asked you to join him at sea, but he was pretty sure he knew what the answer would be. There would always be something keeping you here, keeping you both apart.

"How long this time?" you asked, when you both managed to steal some time alone to walk along the dark streets of Ketterdam. With Rollins in prison and with Kaz taking command of a smidge of the barrel, you figured it would be safe out here. Besides, Tolya was tall enough to tower over even Fjerdans, and that was no easy feat. Anyone dumb enough to pick a fight with a man his size could break a few bones trying, even if you both knew that out of the two of you, you had more practice taking down the big guys.

Tolya dipped his head. "If we're lucky, then a month or so." He paused, thinking, "You said that list you gave to Inej was accurate, right?"

"I think so. Every lead I had took me right back to those three names," you replied. Inej had flinched at the sight of them, meaning your hunch was accurate enough to give Tolya the hope of coming back soon. 

"If the winds are kind, and the journey is good, we can be back before it starts getting cold here," Tolya said, almost like he was making a wish at a well or a plea to a Saint. "Without any luck on our side, it could be longer..."

You frown, looking over at Tolya and tightening your grasp on his hand. "We'll manage."

"I hope so, milaya," Tolya said, kissing the back of your hand. 

Once you both reached a bright streetlight, you turned to face him. "Do you think it will ever end?"

Tolya paused. "What do you mean?"

"As in…this search. Once you find Inej's brother, what comes next?" you ask. You turn away slightly, Tolya's gaze tight on your movements. "Suppose you'll go sailing to wherever next, right? Or…will you stay a while?"

Tolya knew what you were asking, obvious in what you didn't say. There had been countless times where Tolya had imagined himself throwing his life on the Volkvolny away just to be with you, to retire with you to some peaceful town with no worries, nothing at all but peace gifted by Alina tearing down the fold and enough money and shelter to settle down, explore the world, fall deeper in love. But the Volkvolny was his life, his meaning when he didn't fall into his faith. You were his love, his beloved, but neither one could expect the other to give up their identity to be somebody they weren't.

"I'm not sure," Tolya said truthfully. "And yourself? You're so busy with Kaz here, you may well be a Crow by the next time I see you. Your work seems to spring up like fleas."

Your mouth tilted downwards. He was right. Tolya was the love of your life but there would always be the issue of work. Without your demand with the Crows, what were you? Nothing but a shadow skulking around the city, tailing crooks, locating slaves? You supposed you could be more—you'd thought about it a few times, getting up and going with Tolya wherever he asked you to go. But those were dreams, frightening dreams you weren't sure Tolya saw eye to eye with. His voyages felt to you like escapes.

"Well—" Tolya broke through the silence, using his index finger to pick up your head by your chin. When your eyes met, he smiled warmly, kissing you. "Whatever comes next, I'll be there waiting for you."

Tamar stood beside Kaz and Mal as Tolya heaved himself up the ramp and onto the ship. You were close behind, shadowing his steps, cautious about even a step of distance. Tamar sighed loudly, and Kaz looked over at her and followed her gaze.

"What is it?" he asked. Kaz thought he already knew, but it didn't hurt to be sure.

"Oh, a lovers parting," she said dramatically. 

Mal smiled, not quite reaching his eyes. "If they're trying to be subtle about things, they're doing a terrible job."

Kaz observed the couple. Kaz knew you well enough to respect you, perhaps even call you a friend, and he had no obvious qualms with Tolya. He'd never forget his loyalty before Alina tore down the fold, and had no concerns about him being a weakness to who might just be his next Crow. He stared at the back of Inej's head for a second too long as she helped someone heave some shipment to a different compartment of the ship, and then he looked back to Tolya and yourself with a funny feeling twist in his stomach.

"Why grovel?" Kaz asked. "Y/N can leave at any time if she wishes."

Tamar glanced over quickly, as if the news was surprising to her. "She's not working?"

"Her work is done," Kaz said plainly. Tamar and Mal's look of confusion made him twitch with slight annoyance, but he otherwise elaborated on what they didn't know: "I told Y/N to find leads on the slavers. She supplied the list of three and now you will be on your way to locate them. Her task has been completed, and she is free to go."

"Yeesh," Tamar said, "way to make her sound expendable."

"Everybody is."

Kaz looked back at Tolya, holding you in his arms. "I have Nina on a lead already. Until I have something for Y/N to do, she is free to do whatever she pleases." He added as an afterthought, "After all, she's not under my employment."

Hm. Tamar and Mal exchanged a look, but said nothing.

"Will you be here? When we come back?" Tolya asked you. From afar, he could sense his sister's lingering gaze, and he spared a look, alarmed when he saw her, Mal and Kaz watching the pair of you.

"Most likely," you said. You followed his gaze and nodded your head in their direction, Tolya leading you by the waist back to the step-down where Kaz stood at the top, like a bouncer guarding the way. Tolya greeted each one with a glance and a smile before looking back at you.

There wasn't enough time this time around. Tolya's heart wrenched as he looked at you, trying to remember every detail before he had to leave. Their stops in Ketterdam were never very long, but how he longed for a day more by your side, simply one more hour in your company. The thought of leaving you made his throat harden, tears springing behind his eyes. A blink would surely set them free, but he knew the ways to keep them hidden until he was safe in the darkness, not until you came to him in a premonition like a sick joke.

Tamar and Mal—Sturmhond, now he was back on the wood of the ship— gave a look to Kaz in farewell and stepped around the back of you to move further on the deck. Tolya's heart quickened and you watched them go with a rapid look, glancing back at Tolya with twinkling eyes, twinkles he knew were tears and not reflections of light.

"None of that," he said quietly, with a small smile and he reached out to cup your face. Tolya guided you close for a kiss, and a bell rang from somewhere in the harbour and his heart leaped to his throat. He tugged you closer, kissing you harder. Kaz looked away, fixated on Inej but giving you at least the luxury of some privacy. Tolya lost himself in your kiss, his fingertips brushing your hairline and he swore he could taste the salt of your tears between his lips. Tolya pulled away from you slightly, his eyes slightly wide and breath raspy and all of a sudden: "Come with me."

There was a beat of silence.

If other crewmates heard, they didn't give much away. Kaz had torn his eyes from Inej in a painful defeat, with no option but to assess the lovers before him, and truth be told, Tamar and Sturmhond never stopped watching. Tolya didn't allow the silence to kill his courage. If he didn't say it now, he never would.

"I love you," Tolya said. "I love you so much—eya fyela chi, hm? And I know that your heart is here, with the city and the Crows and your life but, Saints, Y/N I see you in my dreams, I see you in the water and the sky and hear you in the ocean breeze. When I close my eyes, I see you in flashes. You have bewitched me, you are in my soul. I love you. Whenever we are apart, it's like a torment." He gulped. He sounded a lot like some of the amateur poetry he wrote when he felt lonely, poetry he sometimes recited to his crew if he got drunk enough. "So, please, please come with me. See the ocean, go across the sea. Be with me, stay with me—come with me."

His eyes searched your face for a sign, something—anything. You blinked, bewildered, holding his hands as they cupped your face.

"But…" you began to shake your head, and his heart sank deeper, "but my work…"

You spared a glance to Kaz. He could act like he hadn't been listening, but it wouldn't do anybody any good. You were almost startled to see him already observing you. 

"I don't need you," Kaz said simply. "I just owe you a debt."

"But, the slaves—"

"You did your job," he repeated. "So you're free to go."

Tolya was just as surprised as you were. He looked at Kaz with round eyes and met yours in a simultaneous turn. He wasn't quite sure what to say about any of it. Was Kaz telling you to go? Was he giving you permission, saying go, leave, or were you now useless to the Crows? Was it only because he had asked? Maybe you didn't want to leave.

"Am I fired?" you asked dumbly.

For a moment, you could have sworn you saw a flicker of a smirk on Kaz's face. "I expect your contract will need renewing upon your arrival. There are many things to do in Ketterdam, just not now. Not for you, at least."

You blinked. Processing his words felt like an eternity—you were free to go. Kaz had made it clear that you'd still have a life on shore when you arrived, if you even left in the first place. Marvelling at the thought, you looked back at Tolya. Travelling the oceans with him; being in his arms each night, getting to know the parts of him reserved to his crew, his faith and his poetry and his talents on the deck, seeing what caused the scars on his hands, what caused the creases in his skin; what he ate and drank, what he wore on different days, how his hair fell in the mornings when it wasn't fastened out of his face. All of that for the taking, and you just had to say the words.

Tolya's face didn't waver, giving nothing away as you said nothing to him. For a while, he thought he knew what you'd say. Tolya, I'm sorry, but I just can't—

"But where would I sleep?"

He hadn't expected that.

Laughter bubbled in his chest. "I think there's room for you in my hammock, if you'd like." He caught your look of doubt and grinned, "Aw, come on. I'm not that big."

"What would I do?"

Slowly but surely, Tolya thought he could sense hope building inside of him. You hadn't yet declined. Your piqued interest gave food for thought as Tolya studied your expressions.

"Well," he said, thinking about it. Actually he'd already thought about it, more than ten times out at sea, twice within the few hours they were in Ketterdam, "you could do anything you wanted. Gaze out at the seas. Play card games—in no time, you'll be a better player than Tamar. You could paint the decks, climb the masts, sit in the nest all day for all I care. I just want you to be with me, for longer than just a few hours." 

Tolya's eyes were almost pleading. You gazed into them. There was no need to think, you already knew what you wanted to say. Chewing the skin of your inner cheek, your eyes flickered to Mal. As Sturmhond, you figured whatever he said went. Tolya followed your gaze and laughed when he spotted the source of your interest.

Mal's eyes flickered, like he'd been alerted back to the present. He looked around innocently, refraining from smiling when he caught the glimmer in Tamar's eyes next to him. 

"Don't look at me," Mal said to you, shrugging his shoulders and raising his hands, "I'm not in charge."

When you next looked at Tolya, you were smiling. From the corner of your eye, Tamar clapped Mal on the shoulder and disappeared into the crew, helping Nadia unload cargo to a different spot below deck. For a second, Mal looked as though he didn't know what to do with himself, until he shuffled further towards the bow, scanning the horizon. Kaz was no longer on the ship when you turned to acknowledge him. You saw the shape of his coat disappear back into the masses in the harbour, and Jesper extended his hat in a farewell and turned to follow. Nina would understand, you hoped, as you were sure she'd still be occupied with freeing her 'hunk of meat'.

"What do you say, lapushka?" Tolya asked. He knew he was cheating by using the Ravkan tongue on you. You'd mentioned it was your mother language only once in passing, and he'd never wasted a second on charming you with it. He ran his hands up and down your arms, arching to look into your eyes with a wide smile on his face. Tolya grinned as he moved with your shyness, a laugh huffing through his lips. "Hm? Will you come with me?"

You laughed, giggled in his arms, as he brought you closer with a kiss under your eye. Squirming, you faked revolt, wrestling out of his grasp. Your smile told him your answer—the rest was roleplay. 

"I know we're going far from home," he said, watching as someone stepped close to pull up the ramp from the harbour. The distinct clink of the anchor filled his ears, departure would be soon and if you wanted to say no, then now was the time. You never did. "But I promise I'll take care of you."

You gazed at him fondly, reaching up to steal a kiss from his lips. He lingered, his face warm in the rising sun. "You can focus on your business, and I'll keep you safe from harm."

Tolya gasped teasingly. "You know the way to a man's heart, I see."

He pulled himself away, with some reluctance, with a grin and shuffled to aid his mates with assembling the ship. Before he could stray too far, you hooked your finger around the strap over his shoulders, used to hold his ensemble of guns and weapons. Tolya looked back as he felt the pull, the adoration in his gaze never faltering.

"Only the hearts of men I love," you told him, and he smiled, bigger and brighter, tilting his head as his eyes folded into Cheshire smiles before he winked, dipping his head back to look at his crew.

You watched him retreat along the deck, his assertion cool and respectful, commanding the attention of the crew as they fell into their formations. Figuring you had time to find your place, you stood rooted where you had been standing this time, casting one final look at the harbour; you bid silent farewell to the streetlights and carts, to the horses snuffling as they loaded merchandise and travellers into the carriages pulled by their strength, to the place you lovingly called home, until a new one found its way to you in the shape of a man named Tolya, who wherever you were together became your new anchor, the new place you fell to for comfort and safety. The man you loved, yours for the taking, for a life stretching past the horizon across that plane of endless sea.

#tolya yul bataar #tolya #tolya x reader #tolya yul bataar x reader #tolya imagine #tolya scenario #shadow and bone tolya #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #grishaverse imagine #tamar yul bataar #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #nina zenik #inej gafha #malyen oretsev #stormhund #tolya fluff #ittojean #shadow and bone #jeanbie

[writing-sunshine]

Heartbeat

Paring: Tamar Kir-Bataar x reader

Warnings: Death

Summary: Tamar looses someone close to her

-

“No, no, no, no, no, no.’ She said over and over hoping that it wasn’t true because it couldn’t be, it couldn’t be over. She screamed all the pain she was holding in. ‘No!’ The sound pained those around, even those that didn’t personally know the two. The woman held on to the body, the body of her lover, rocking back and forth as if to lull her back to life. She knew deep down whether she chose to believe it or not, there was no heartbeat, no blood pumping through her once fiery veins. The tears didn’t stop, not as her friends bowed their heads in solidarity knowing this was the end of the young woman’s life. Tamar sobbed for the life that was taken, how she would never hear the laughter again or be held in those familiar arms, how could life be so cruel? All those plans they had, ‘No please come back to me, please’ she begged and pleaded for her life to come back, but it wouldn’t, it was far too late for that. Many had to leave the depressing scene, her friends however slowly approached trying to coax her away so they could bury the body. ‘No, please I can’t let her go. I promised I would never leave her alone, she’s scared of being alone.’ As if their hearts weren’t already broken, they were now. She finally took her eyes off the corpse she was hanging off of like a lifeline, she looked up at her brother, ‘I didn’t get to tell her I love her enough, I didn’t hold her tightly, I can’t let her go, please, I didn’t get to say goodbye, please don’t make me let go’ Tears flowed from everyone’s eyes, but eventually she parted with the now cold body. Her heart felt heavy has she kept straining herself to hear a faint heartbeat, one that used to be so familiar she could sense it in a crowd full of people. One that would never beat again.

#tolya and tamar #tamar x reader #tamar kir bataar x reader #tamar kir bataar #shadow and bone #six of crows

[sophierequests]

heyy!! maybe something angsty/fluffy with Tamar?? hope you have a great day

falling apart without you

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Request

Pairing: Tamar Kir-Bataar x f!Reader

A/N: Tamar, my wife <333 This is my first Tamar fic and I am so happy that somebody requested it! I love her sm. Thank you for the request and have a great day too! Also, I used that Khergud attack scene from King of Scars and changed it, so there will be timeline inconsistencies.

Summary: Tamar isn't afraid of anything. But what if the people she actually cares about get hurt?

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Blood, wounds, bullets, death

“Scared?” the sudden appearance of Tamar’s voice right behind you startled you a bit.

You didn’t turn around, eyes still fixed on the menacing darkness that seemed to be a hundred miles away, yet so close. From where you stood, you had a more or less pleasant view of the looming Fold draped over a vast desolate mass of land. Just the thought of having to cross it again made your stomach drop. Behind you stood the cathedral of Adena, its glorious golden domes striking a huge contrast to whatever was expecting you out on the void of the Unsea. Your party was standing close to the entrance of the church, slowly preparing to return to where you were supposed to stay the night. Even though you had nothing to be afraid of yet, you couldn’t stifle the uneasy feeling settling on your shoulders

And apparently, Tamar seemed to notice your beginning anxiety, as she had quietly split up from the rest of the group to talk to you. She was one of your closest friends since you had joined Sturmhond’s crew, and remained in her position after you decided to join Nikolai in his advance against the Darkling. When Nikolai announced that you would be joining his little travel party to Adena, Tamar was more than against that, but she was just as aware that there was nothing she could do to keep you away - safe. You thought it to be almost endearing how she cared for your well-being, however, she didn’t quite like your readiness to get into dangerous situations like these.

What you didn’t know was, that under her supposed platonic worry lingered a different emotion. You had stopped being just a friend to her a long time ago, but she pushed these thoughts away. Love in the middle of a war is a fool’s game, and Tamar wasn’t willing to risk it.

“A little.” you broke the silence, turning your head only slightly to look at her - now standing next to you, “You?”

There was no actual need to ask that question. You knew her answer already. Tamar was never scared. Not of anyone or anything. It was one of the things you admired and hated simultaneously. You would never come even close to her level of fearlessness, not even if you tried. However, the recklessness that came with it managed to drive you mad sometimes.

“Never.” she smiled faintly, looking strained after the already lengthy journey, “There’s no reason to be afraid, Y/N. Right now, we’re still safe. And when it comes down to it, you’ll still have me to protect you. And Tolya - of course.”

You had to chuckle at that statement. Of course, the twins would be the first ones to keep the party safe. Even though you weren’t sure if that’s necessarily what she meant by saying ‘you’.

“I never doubted your willingness to fight, Tamar.” you replied, “And the willingness of your brother - of course.”

You both looked at each other, an amused grin on your faces. It could be difficult finding humour in times like these, so you appreciated it even more when you did. If you could've stayed in this moment forever, you wouldn't mind it.

However, the low metallic whirring of hummingbird-like wings caused your heart to stand still. Before anyone could even utter a word, you knew immediately what was going to happen.

"Y/N, Tamar! Get down!" Nikolai screamed, followed by Tolya having to yank him back.

Tamar and you whipped your heads around, only to be met with a horrible discovery. The previously blue sky was now littered with sickly-looking winged soldiers, that were set on killing you. The jittery noise their wings made echoed in your head like a diabolical rhythm.

"Khergud." Tamar whispered, pulling out the axe that was hoisted on her belt.

She advanced toward Nikolai and her brother, trying her best to not get grabbed by the attacking soldiers. You followed swiftly after her, your mind racing, as you thought about what to do next. They had already smelled that you and the twins were Grisha, hence why they were mainly trying to focus on the three of you.

With a strong sense of determination, you called for your power, almost instantly feeling the familiar warmth pulse through your body. In a matter of split seconds, you managed to call a burst of fire from the candles at the cathedral's entrance, managing to set two of the creatures aflame. You weren't aware of their ability to speak, so you could only feel shock shoot through you, when you heard the inhuman screech they let out as they went down.

Sadly, this didn't do much. There were just too many to fight at once. When you sent another wave of flames towards them, you couldn't even see whether you were able to hit some of them before a bullet met your side, and you violently got yanked off of your feet and pulled up in the air. One of these bloody creatures had caught you. The grip of its sharp fingers squeezed your arms, drawing blood at the spots where the foul nails met your flesh. If you screamed you didn't know it, the sudden change in events knocking out every ounce of air that had filled your lungs before.

"Y/N!" Tamar called out, an unintelligible mass of voices droning behind her.

The rest of the fight was a blur. You heard gunshots, shouts, the clanking of metal against metal, and most terrifying of all, the horrible sounds the Khergud made when they went down - either to die or to attack. You saw a metallic net being thrown over Tamar and Tolya, pinning them down and ultimately restricting their hand movement. From the corner of your eye, you saw Nikolai trying his best to fight against them. The vicious clutch your attacker had on your arms made you slip in and out of consciousness, the blood dripping from your wounds staining your clothes. The last thing you knew, was its hold on you loosening, and both of your bodies sinking towards the dirty ground. Then you blacked out.

Everything around them was chaos. Some of the Khergud had crashed into the church, destroying some of the walls and windows. The twins had finally managed to get rid of the net that had bound them down so that they were able to aid Nikolai in taking down the last soldiers that were close to the ground before a handful of them managed to escape through the air. He took a glimpse at his team - his friends - and shuddered when he found Tamar's eyes, looking absolutely horrified. You weren't with them.

"Tamar, where is Y/N?" he asked sternly, feeling his heart racing at the thought of having to bury another one of his friends.

But she didn't answer. Instead, she dashed towards a pile of rubble and bodies that lay close to one of the broken-down cathedral domes. She recognized the distinct silver bracelet she had gifted you once without a hint of doubt. It was a pretty gruesome scene, that she was faced with. Your body laid next to the corpse of your assailant - if that's what you could call a lifeless Khergud - and you were littered with bruises and scratches. One of its metal wings was cutting into the flesh of your hip, forcefully tearing up your clothes. After taking in what she had just witnessed, she instantly bent down to you, her shaky hands carefully prying the wings from you. When she noticed the bullet wound she had to fight the urge to vomit, but she pushed down the feeling of nausea, determined to not let you slip away. She had seen worse, but not on people she cares about.

Nikolai and Tolya walked up behind her, cringing after seeing what she was hovering over. Without saying a word, she allowed herself to listen to your heartbeat. For the first time without your permission. Her call was met with deafening silence.

Her hands flew to your body, trying desperately to shake you awake, even though she was perfectly aware that it wouldn't work. Tolya took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment and mimicking the procedure his sister had done only seconds earlier. Nikolai knelt down next to Tamar, trying to calm her down - without much success. They both stopped when Tolya gasped, his eyes fluttering open as moved his hands upwards, bringing them down on your chest quickly.

"There's a heartbeat." he breathed out, repeating the procedure again.

"But- but she had none, when I-" Tamar stammered, her hands visibly shaking.

"It's faint. Very faint. But it's there." Tolya muttered, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, "We need to get her back as soon as possible. I'll carry her, and you try to keep her heart stable."

"I can't." she blurted out, her eyes not moving from your form, "I don't think that I'll be able to keep her heart beating. Let me carry her."

"Tamar, your hands are shaking, I don't think that would-" Nikolai suggested, a hand still resting on her shoulder.

"Alright. Let's go." Tolya interjected, letting his gaze fly over his sister one more time before she nodded and pulled you up in her arms.

You expected to wake up buried beneath the rubble - or even to not wake up at all. But when you pried open your eyes, your gaze was fixed on a wooden ceiling. Your body felt heavy, and every single minuscule movement made you regret it immediately after. The smell of burnt firewood, freshly brewed Suutei tsai and incense lay thickly in the air around you. You had no idea where exactly you are, as the memories of the attack started to steadily catch up to you.

Where were the others?

The question hit you like a brick. You didn’t remember whether they were able to make it out alive. Against all your logical thoughts telling you not to, you tried to set up straight. And you regretted it straight away. The wounds you had acquired yesterday reminded you of their presence as a sharp jolt of pain flashed through you. You hid the pain as best as you could, the sense of worry stronger than your discomfort.

However, you managed to calm down slightly, when you saw Tolya snooze in the chair close to your bed. His usually neat ponytail was dishevelled, and he looked as if he hadn’t slept in a proper bed in ages. You were safe. At least one of your friends was safe. You were alive and semi-well. Everything was alright.

Your needy breathing seemed to have pulled him from his slumber. He blinked multiple times as if he didn’t want to believe that it was you who sat there. You flashed him a tired smile, trying your best to not wince while your whole body ached.

“Saints, Y/N, we really thought you were a goner.” he uttered, standing up and moving towards your bed, “You’re not allowed to scare us like that ever again, or else I might have to bring back Tamar from the dead too.”

“You had to bring me back from the dead?” you asked, the colour draining from your face.

He paused, his face pulled into an uncomfortable grimace.

“Yes, when we brought you back here, your heart stopped. I thought Nikolai and Tamar would join you right then and there. We managed to bring you back though, so congratulations on your first near-death experience.” he chuckled awkwardly.

“Thank you…and sorry for that.” you added, knowing that it must’ve been quite straining to bring you back from the dead, “How are the others? Are they hurt?”

“They are mainly fine. Nikolai only has to deal with a few cuts and bruises, so he’ll be fine. Tamar also wasn’t hurt that badly, but if she was, I wouldn’t have the pleasure to know.” he grumbled, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Why?” you inquired worriedly since the twins usually were closer than anyone else you knew.

“She was in shock after finding you. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen her that afraid. She only went to bed a few hours ago, after I basically had to drag her out of her. Otherwise, she would’ve stayed until exhaustion took her.”

You shook your head, not being able to hide the faint blush that sneaked on your face. Tolya threw you an amused glance, seemingly aware of the tension between the two of you.

“Do you want me to get her? I don’t think that she was able to sleep for that long. Maybe you should have a little talk.” he mused, grinning contently.

“Only if she’s actually awake.”

He nodded, leaving the room swiftly as he went to look for his sister.

You didn’t even have to wait long until a familiar set of footsteps came rushing towards your room. The door flew open again, this time revealing an utterly distressed Tamar. Her mood lightened when she saw you smiling back at her. You expected her to say something, but she only strode to your bed, leaning down to engulf you in a comforting hug. She was careful to not touch your bandaged wounds - even though you didn’t think that you would’ve cared. The comfort of her embrace soothed you greatly.

“Don’t ever do that again.” she mumbled into the crook of your neck.

“I wasn’t planning on repeating that anytime soon.” you giggled softly.

“You have no clue how afraid I was. I really thought that I would never see you again. Alive at least.”

“I thought you’d never be scared of anything?” you responded only half-jokingly.

She took a brief pause, shuffling a bit further away from you to look at you properly for the first time. Her eyes were a bit puffy, and she looked as tired as ever. Your hand absent-mindedly moved forward to cup her cheeks in an attempt to reassure her of your presence. You were here. You were alive. This gesture was something completely new, and both of you knew that the feeling that settled between you was far from platonic.

And as if it had been a natural reaction, you pulled her closer to you, your lips connecting in an instant. Your heart took a leap as you felt the very much-needed sensation of her lips against yours. It felt like this situation had always been bound to happen, no one wanting to be the first to pull away, in fear of having this moment end.

“There’s only one thing that I’m scared of. And that is losing you.”

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