lilmoony

[lilmoony]

the fact that some random fabrikator in ketterdam had a ten/eleven year old child walk into their shop and ask for a cane specifically weighted to break bones is so goddamn funny

[lilmoony]

Selfish

Prospero Usher x Reader

SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES - This is your only warning!

Summary: When you got the call saying that your exboyfriend was badly injured after a rave, you rushed to the hospital.

His entire family was dead, every one of them.

But before that, there was you.

You, a simple girl, and him, a rich asshole.

It was meant to be a typical love story, your Cinderella story.

But it was cut short.

You had enough of his behaviour about two years into your relationship.

When all the drugs started. When all the men and women started to flood his home. 

When your home became a junkie palace.

In the beginning, you tried to enjoy it, you wanted to stay by his side, so of course you stayed.

But then, you had enough and left.

Your heart broke, you had to leave him, but it was the best for both of you.

The arguments stopped, he could be who he wants to be, and you, you went back to work.

But then, one day, you met a woman.

She promised you that she would save Prospero in exchange for something of yours.

At first, you laughed at her, but then, the things she told you, you took her deal.

The Usher bloodline was supposed to end. A debt was to be paid, but you got the chance to save him.

And you took the deal.

The deal, a life for a life.

You sacrifice someone near and dear in order to save him.

You were confused if this mysterious woman even knew about your mother, and what she had done. She must know.

And yet, she wanted her.

So, you agreed.

You agreed to give up your drunken, abusive mother, for your ex who rather hosts an orgy.

Yet, you never expected to get the call about him and his injuries.

Prospero needed a caretaker and his father directly asked for you before his death.

You were stunned.

But you also knew you had no choice. 

So, you were there when he was still in the hospital, you were there when he was let out of the hospital.

And, you lived in his apartment now. You cooking him breakfast, which he barely touched.

He didn’t look at you, during the day, didn’t even acknowledge your presence most of the time.

But you were okay with that.

And during the nights, you slept in the same bed. His huge bed, which you were sure would blind people under a UV lamp. 

And yet you slept in it.

It wasn’t like he didn’t have another room, but you preferred to be close since he woke up many times due to pain and you had to give him meds.

You changed the bandages on his shoulders and arms.

He didn’t say a single word.

Until one day.

You were in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for the two of you when he came out of his bedroom.

“You really are a desperate bitch. What have you done to my father so he would make sure you are included in his will?”

You turned at looked at Prospero.

No word came out of your mouth, his words were so hurtful.

“I mean, you must have done something.”

“He called me, he told me that you are in need of help.”

“I threw you out long before that tho.”

“You sure did. You threw me out because I was too normal, because I didn’t fit into this… madness of yours.” you said, anger slowly getting the better of you.

“Madness? You were just too plain. Like some unseasoned chicken! I wanted to have fun, I wanted to have more! More than anyone could ever have.”

“And look where that took you.” he scoffed at your response.

“And look at you, Y/N. My father paid you for all of this, and you so obediently came to my rescue, right?” your anger blinded you by his words. It was all money money money, with him. 

You hated that.

“Even if your father didn’t pay, I would have.”

“Don’t make me laugh!” he yelled.

“I would have because I love you, Prospero.” there it was. All of your feelings and frustrations on a plate, served right to him. “For the last year, all I have been doing is reading every fucking article, I created fake profiles so I can check your social media. I even went to the clubs you went to because I wanted to see you. I love you, and I know I could have never been enough for you. I didn’t fit into this world of yours. I told you, I don’t share, I don’t compromise. I wanted you all to myself. I do agree with you. I am pathetic. I truly believed I could help you.”

“You came into my life again after I told you to fuck off. You spend your days here, cooking, playing house-wife or whatever and then during the night you sleep next to me and cuddle me just like you used to.”

“As I said, I agree with you, I’m pathetic.” you said as tears fell from your eyes, you quickly whipped them. “I will leave you alone. You healed enough already, you can take it from here.” you stormed into the bathroom, crying as you put your stuff into your bags.

“What are you doing?” he came in after you, watching you throwing your things away.

“I’m leaving. You won’t have to deal with my pathetic ass anymore. You can call as many whores as you wish.”

“Stop calling yourself that! I never said you were pathetic!”

“Do you know, what I went through? Do you know what I gave up to save you?! I gave her my mother and my sister! For your life! And you call me a desperate bitch? I am one okay? I am so desperately in love with you, it blinded my judgement.” you said with all the anger you had inside.

“What are you talking about?” he asked with a confused voice.

“Nothing.” you said as you closed your suitcase.

“You never loved me, you loved my money or rather, my father’s money.” you chuckled. 

“Just how much did all those drugs fuck up your mind? Or was it one of your many lovers convincing you so they can feast on your money? Use your fucking brain Perry.” you grabbed your bags and went to leave but he followed you.

“What did you mean you gave up your sister for my life?” his tone was now a lot calmer. But when you didn’t answer him, he grabbed your wrist and made you turn around, you looked at him and he noticed the tears in your eyes. 

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It was an exchange. And I agreed.” you whispered as his fingers moved from your wrist to your palm and locked with your fingers.

You could tell he was confused, of course he was.

You were confused yourself.

You looked at him, eyes meeting his.

“Is that… is that why I don’t have any withdrawal from the… drugs?” he asked and you nodded. “Is that why I got out of an acid rain?” you nodded again. “Why?” came his last question.

“Because I love you.” your answer was simple yet true. He pulled you into a hug.

His arms tightened around you.

“Thank you.” he whispered into your hair and you nearly broke down crying. “I’m not letting you go ever again.”

“I know.” you said.

You would have to live with this guilt. With the fact that he wouldn’t have been in love with you. Truth was, you really sold your sister for his love and not his life. In exchange for his love, so he would forever be in love with you, never leave you, and never cheat on you. You sacrificed something great.

But maybe the woman was right, humans are very selfish.

And you proved her just right.

In case you want to help out a dreamer: patreon.com/multific  

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS 

[lilmoony]

getting into a fandom and reading all the top fics >>>>>

[lilmoony]

Are You Together?

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Request: Hi! Could I please request an Eddie x fem!reader where they are like best friends and they're like "all but dating." And maybe it takes place around the time when Dustin, Mike, and Lucas join Hellfire and after a couple of weeks, one of them finally asks if Eddie and reader are dating and Eddie gets all blushy because he's been in love with her since she joined Hellfire. And reader tells the boys that they're friends because Eddie rejected her when she asked him out and then Eddie is just like "WHAT?????"

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: little bit of fluff, friends to lovers, all but dating, some curse words

AN: This was an anonymous request! Sorry this took a minute to get to, but I hope you enjoy it!

Dustin, Lucas, and Mike were confused. They had recently joined Hellfire, Eddie had taken them under his wing and promised to help make high school at least somewhat tolerable for them, and so far they were loving Eddie’s sadistic campaigns. However, there was something the three of them couldn’t quite figure out, were you and Eddie dating?

It seemed like you were, but they couldn’t tell for sure. The two of you were practically attached at the hip, one never seen without the other. They knew that the two of you had been friends for years and knew everything about each other. You even finished each other’s sentences sometimes. There was a natural fluidity to everything the two of you did, which was obvious to everyone.

There was not so subtle flirting and witty back and forth banter between you two. One of you would always compliment the other or go along with a bit the other started. There were also many inside jokes. Sometimes all either of you had to do was look at the other and you both would burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

You even engaged in PDA. Hugs were constant, the two of you would hold hands a lot, Eddie would even allow you to play with his rings and his hair. This was something that became second nature, you wouldn’t even be aware that you were doing it, and neither did Eddie, he would just unconsciously lean into your touch.

However, the boys had never seen the two of you kiss. Which was what gave them doubts that you were dating.

“Come on, if they were dating, they would be all over each other,” Mike said as the three of them walked over to their lunch table, “Eddie’s face would be permanently glued to hers.”

“Not necessarily,” Dustin stated, “maybe they are dating, and they just don’t like to kiss in front of people. I mean they hug and make heart eyes at each other all the time, that’s gotta mean something.”

Mike snickered, “Eddie doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to be shy about PDA. I say they aren’t dating.”

“Eddie let’s her play with his hair…” there was a hint of frustration in Dustin’s voice, “that is cold hard proof that they are dating. Eddie doesn’t let anyone touch his hair; he told me so himself.”

Lucas set his tray down once they reached the table and shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe they’re really close friends. Just because they hug and everything doesn’t mean they’re dating.”

“I guess we’ll never know for sure.” Mike sat down next to Lucas.

Dustin slammed his tray down with exasperation, “I’m tired of not knowing! I’m gonna ask them as soon as they get here!”

“Ask who what?”

Dustin let out a startled shriek causing Mike and Lucas to chuckle. Eddie stood at the head of the table, you right by his side, both with curious expressions.

Dustin stammered, unsure how to ask the question he and the others had been dying to know the answer to.

“Go on, Dustin, ask them.” Mike said with a smirk.

Dustin glared at him before turning to you and Eddie, “So, we were just wondering, are the two of you…together…like dating.”

You and Eddie looked at each other and laughed, “No.”

“Really?!” Dustin was shocked.

“We’ve been friends for years, but we’re not dating.” Eddie pulled out your chair for you before taking a seat himself.

“Yeah, Eddie rejected me when I asked him out three years ago.” You looked up from your lunch when you were met with silence. You turned next to you to see Eddie’s stunned face; it would have made you laugh if you hadn’t been so confused.

“I’m sorry…” Eddie sat up straight and looked you right in the eye, “WHAT?!”

It was your turn to be confused, “What do you mean, ‘what?’”

“When the HELL did you ask me out?”

“Uh, three years ago, it was my sophomore year, I had just joined Hellfire. After my first campaign, I helped you clean up and asked if you wanted to go to the movies and you told me no.”

“No, no, you helped me clean up and then you asked me if I had ever seen Psycho before because it was playing at the drive in that weekend, and I told you that I had seen the movie before, but that you should totally go see it because it’s good. You never asked me out!”

“Yeah, I was implying that I wanted us to go to the movie together…on a date.”

“Okay, but that wasn’t clear!”

“Yes, I realized that, so I tried again about a month later.”

Eddie’s eyes bugged out in shock, “WHAT?!”

“Remember, I went with you to band practice and then you drove me home and I told you that I liked you,” you were met with stunned silence from Eddie, “I told you that I liked you and you said, ‘I think you’re pretty great too’ and—"

Eddie cut you off, “I’m glad we became friends.” The memory came flooding back to the front of his mind.

“After you said that, I figured you didn’t feel the same way, and misinterpreted what I meant, so I wiped the egg off my face and moved on.”

The boys winced at Eddie, the secondhand embarrassment kicking in. Lucas released a huff of air, “Rejected twice, that’s rough.”

Eddie looked like he was second guessing every single decision he had ever made since that moment. He was mentally beating himself up. Three years. For three years he had been pining for you, hoping that you would eventually return his feelings, but apparently all that time you had. And not only had you returned his affections, oh no, you had asked him out and he had unknowingly rejected you…twice.

“I am so fucking stupid.”

“Eddie, it’s fine. You didn’t feel the same way. It’s not your fault that you misunderstood what I meant.” You shrugged.

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up so high they were hidden by his bangs. He pulled your chair out, turned it to face him, and leaned in towards you, “I have been in love with you for three years.”

“Wh-what?” You searched his eyes for any hint of mockery but found nothing but sincerity.

He leaned in closer and spoke slowly, making sure to over enunciate each word, “I have been in love with you for three years.”

Lucas, Dustin, and Mike all looked at each other and stood, grabbing their lunch trays. Dustin uttered a quick and awkward goodbye before following the others to another table on the other side of the cafeteria.

“Okay, let me get this straight,” you felt like your entire world was spinning, but not necessarily in a bad way, “you’ve been in love with me, and I’ve been in love with you, and we’ve both been idiots. That sound about right?”

Eddie nodded, “Yup.”

“Well,” you tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, “are we gonna do anything to rectify this?”

Eddie smiled, “I don’t know, you free this weekend?”

“I’ll have to cancel some plans with a friend of mine, but I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he will either.” Eddie winked and you both smiled.

[lilmoony]

𝘀𝘂𝗯𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁・l.f.

— in which you forget that your hot housemate follows you on twitter.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀・1.1k 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴・roommate!felix x gn!streamer!reader ��𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲𝘀・fluff, flirting, kind of an smau, implied friends to lovers, humor if u count jeongin being a piece of shit

𝗮/𝗻・saw this tweet the other day and it was so painfully lix coded that i knew i had to write something asap. contains a tiny bit of gaming jargon but is hopefully comprehensible. ENJOY ♡

y/n ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ @ y/nxx

if someone brings you fresh cut fruit to your table when you're gaming, they either like LIKE you or it's your mom

11:23 A.M.・Oct. 2023・220.2K Views

bokkie 🐣 liked your post.

“My tweet?”

You read aloud the newest text in your chatroom, and your face brightens when you remember the one in question.

“Oh, about the fruit—no, it’s so true though. And I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but I have an inkling she did it to guilt trip me." You change your posture and adopt your best motherly tone of voice. "‘This is your tenth consecutive hour wasting your young adulthood in front of that damn screen. I am now going to hand deliver apple slices straight to your mouth.’ That kind of vibe, y'know?"

A slew of messages follows your anecdote, but it is a comment from one of your moderators that catches your eye first:

je0ng1n: what about the other option tho 👀

You groan at the sight of his username. “Man, why are you always here? Don't you have a job?"

je0ng1n: i’m on break je0ng1n: taking a dump je0ng1n: ungrateful bitch

You brandish a middle finger to the camera. “Hope the dump sucks."

je0ng1n: HEY je0ng1n: don’t even joke about that :(

An involuntary cackle precedes your next words. “If you’re actually wondering, though, the only person who’s brought me fruit while I’m playing video games is indeed my mother. Heartbreaking, I know.”

At this, the steady flow of messages morphs into a gallery of depressed cat emoticons; your audience never fails to impress you with their way with words.

“But if someone other than your disappointed parent is bringing you fruit,” you go on, “they might as well get on one knee in the process, honestly. That's such an adorable, loving thing to do.”

Suddenly, the words MATCH FOUND splash across your monitor, and you move your cursor to accept the game invite—only to be met with a pop-up window and a familiar error sound that grates on your ears like screeching tires.

You know how this story ends: the lights in your mouse go dark, and you look on in dejected silence.

je0ng1n: LMFAOOOOO je0ng1n: bro’s mouse definitely just exploded again

“You guessed it," you sigh. “Hang tight for a sec, guys."

Half an hour ago, you could’ve sworn you heard sneakers being kicked off, a set of keys falling against plastic. Now, you pull one side of your headphones off and roll your chair a few feet backward, calling through your half-open door: “Lix, are you home?”

You pick up on a soft clunk that sounds like metal hitting wood—the cutting board, maybe?—and then your housemate's low, accented answer bounces off the walls of your shared hallway.

“Yeah, you alright?”

“The mouse,” you say helplessly.

“Ah.” It’s not the first time you’ve summoned him for this. “Be right there.”

A few seconds later, you remember to tack on a hurried disclaimer: “I’m live, by the way!”

“I know.”

This brings a bashful smile to your face, though the expression quickly turns to one of pure dismay when you return to your desk and witness the disastrous state of your chat.

Felix has become a regular guest on your stream by now, always popping in to show you a TikTok or ask for your opinion on a new pair of jeans or simply give your camera an awkward wave—but he may as well own your channel with how completely and unequivocally he has captured the hearts of your viewers. They’re convinced he’s the sexiest person to ever grace the earth, with his chiseled features and coffee-colored eyes; with a grin that could set entire estates on fire and a voice that could scrape the nadir of the Grand Canyon.

Do you agree? Absolutely.

Do you have any intention of voicing this sentiment, so long as you’re splitting rent with him? Absolutely the hell not.

Another of Jeongin’s messages—GET ME HIS NUMBER OR I GET VIOLENT—inspires you to minimize the stream window before Felix gets here. It’s for the best.

A few moments later, the door opens, and the air shifts inside your room. A hand comes to rest on the top of your head; a familiar silhouette appears in your periphery. There is a fond grin plastered across your face and a bright greeting sitting readily on the tip of your tongue.

But then, Felix places a plate of freshly cut fruit in the empty space to the left of your keyboard—here, he hums, the sound falling against the shell of your ear like a drop of melted chocolate. And the gears of your brain grind to a complete stop.

There is no further acknowledgment; no supplementary explanation for what he's just done. He simply picks up your mouse and gets to work.

The words of your tweet swim dizzyingly before your eyes, not unlike those halos of stars and birds that revolve around disoriented cartoon characters. And you’re suddenly, achingly aware of your roommate's arm nudging against yours as he tinkers away; of the aromas of vanilla and laundry detergent that always come with his proximity; of the heat that’s risen to your face, and the plethora of questions that have surfaced to your mind.

A soft huff of laughter follows a gentle utterance of your name, and you snap out of your trance. Felix’s eyes are glinting with amusement when you meet them.

“It’s been recalibrated,” he says, handing back your mouse. “Just give it a few minutes.”

Your fingertips brush over his palm when you accept the object, and even this blink of contact has your heart performing an elaborate hopscotch routine across the plane of your chest.

It’s either your mom, or…

“Thank you,” you mumble, finally retrieving your larynx from the bottom of the Atlantic.

“Anytime,” Felix returns, and you know he means it. “You need a duo, by the way?"

“Yes, please.”

He gives you a warm smile at this, and there’s a hint of something else—something new—in the curve of his lips. “Give me two.” And he’s gone as quickly as he'd come.

You will never know how Felix slips his phone out of his pocket the second he emerges from your room, his pulse hounding his ears as he turns a nervous gaze upon his screen.

There is now a supersonic blur of messages saturating your chatroom, a colorful cacophony of moving emotes and capital letters, but he is focused wholly on the person in front of the camera and how you slowly lift a hand to your mouth, deathly silent despite your every viewer demanding your comment on the matter, your sanguine cheeks visible even through the gaps of your fingers.

That is all he needs to know.

Felix sinks into the leather of his gaming chair and bends to power on his computer. Only after a deep breath blows past his lips does his smile start to stretch into a grin, every bit as embarrassed as it is relieved.

je0ng1n: no way je0ng1n: no fucking way je0ng1n: my heart fluttered je0ng1n: wtf je0ng1n: how’d you pull HIM??

y/nxx has removed je0ng1n as a moderator of this channel.

𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other works here. thanks so much for the support ♡

© 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘅 (est. 090323) · all works are pieces of original writing and all characters and relationships are purely fictional. please do not repost or reuse for any reason.

[lilmoony]

hiii could i request smth with han jisung simping over his s/o and the rest of skz making fun of him for it? btw i love ur work <3

simp(ly in love)

a/n. thank u sm, it means a lot to me!! sorry you had to wait for so long, hopefully you’ll like it!! :D

everyone was chilling in the garden at changbin’s parents’ house, the man himself frying the meat along with minho’s help. hyunjin and jeongin are playing a volleyball match against felix and chan. seungmin is mere moments from falling asleep next to han, who’s sipping on his iced tea.

it’s almost perfect. there’s just one thing missing.

you.

han let out yet another dramatic sigh, about 10th in the period of one hour time. seungmin grunted, still sadly awake.

“we know you miss y/n, get over it. it’s not like you broke up” he snarled, putting a pillow over his head.

right.

you’re away just on a trip with your friends. it’s just a three day trip to just another city. just without him and just to have some fun.

but god, he misses you so much. the house feels empty, there’s no sound of your sweet honey-alike laughter. your shoes and clothes are in one place, not messily thrown all around like always. when he comes home the silence greets him pathetically while his heart aches because of the lack of his welcome kiss. he’s basically sleepless, unable to rest without you next to him.

phone calls and video chats aren’t enough, han thinks he’ll explode and go berserk if he doesn’t hug you any time soon.

is this normal—?

“ta–da! the meat is done! i’ll go grab some kimchi from kitchen” changbin’s excited yelp makes han snap back into reality.

you’d love it here. you’d love the food, the vibe. he could picture you playing volleyball with the guys, whining that they’re cheating and eventually falling asleep between him and seungmin. only after helping to prepare the meal though…

“–han? oh my god. we lost him, guys” felix chuckled, sitting down. minho snapped his fingers in front of han’s face, a sheepish smile when he looked up at him confused.

“you’re such a… dramatic simp. she’s been away for only two days, dude. and! you’ve been talking like, non-stop. give her a rest” hyunjin chuckled, smiling boyishly. han murmured something incoherent about hyunjin being single and not knowing how it feels like when chan added:

“i never knew that side of you. well, maybe that explains why y/n always accompanied us on yours…”

changbin returned with kimchi and placed it down next to the still sizzling meat.

“he’d die” jeongin quickly summarised “you’re such a love-sick puppy”

“‘m not!” he whined and almost threw himself over the edge when his phone dinged with a message notification.

face lighting up, fingers swiping… only to see a text from minho. ‘lol’.

he glared up at him, causing all of them to burst out laughing.

“ha, ha. very funny. can’t a man just simply miss his gorgeous, beautiful and breathtaking girlfriend who he is madly i love with?” jisung frowned and his phone dinged again. this time it was you.

letting out a loud gasp he swiped just to see a cute picture of you. you were resting your chin in the palm of your hand, the other holding down a colourful drink. the sun shone prettily on the picture but your smile… your smile outshined it.

seungmin leaned forward to peek through his shoulder and smiled softly.

“my pretty y/nnie…” han cooed and saved the picture, fingers typing with the speed of light to tell you some compliments and yet again, to announce how much he missed you.

the others scoffed, starting to dig in the food. changbin’s mom arrived, holding a tray with iced teas for them.

han put his phone down, done for now. you said you’re having dinner too so he thought he won’t disturb you. letting out a deep sigh, he noticed changbin mom’s gaze on him.

“where’s that pretty girl of yours?” she asked suddenly, looking around “i thought she’s coming too?”

“well she’s on a trip with her friends…” han murmured, a pout forming in his lips.

“awh, it’s a shame. i was looking forward to see her again” changbin-mama shook her head.

“me too, mrs seo. me too” jisung sighed and plopped even more onto the couch, sprawling on it.

the woman giggled and patted his head before going back into the house to pack some kimchi for you.

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist.@geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinshua ,, @stxrseungs,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddeonudepressions ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan ,, @mirxzii ,, @kazmura ,, @primoppang ,, @nfrgirl

[lilmoony]

Stray Kids Reaction || Anxiety Attack About Work [Request]

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - June 2022

⤜MASTERLIST

TW: Contains descriptions of anxiety/and panic attacks. Please do not read if it makes you uncomfortable.

I DO NOT OWN THE GIFS! GIFS BELONG TO ORIGINAL CREATORS

Afficher davantage

[lilmoony]

Stray Kids Reaction || Sees An Old Surgery Scar [Request]

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - June 2022

⤜MASTERLIST

TW: This does mention scars and where they are on bodies, please don’t read if the thought/sound of scars makes you uncomfortable or triggers you. I love you all x

Afficher davantage

[lilmoony]

—Something of yours he keeps with him.

pairings: ot8 x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i don't really know what this is tbh, i just got this idea a few weeks ago and just now found inspiration enough to finish it. i hope you guys enjoy! i would love to read your thoughts on it<3

《 Bang Chan — Your beanie 》

"You want me to give you my beanie?" Chan read out loud in his studio, tilting his head as a smile parted his lips after having read that question on the Vlive chat. "No, sorry" he was quick to say to the camera, a small laugh escaping his mouth. "This is my new favourite beanie! I'm never letting go of it".

A louder laugh made its way out of his lips as he read Stay's reaction to his teasing answer, even though he was not really joking at all.

Chan had come across this beanie one morning at your place, when you refused to put a coat on since it would ruin your outfit, regardless of it being freezing cold outside. He had taken it upon himself to look for something in your closet, and ended up noticing this particular black beanie pretty much forgotten at the back of it.

One look was all it took for him to claim it. You hardly ever wore it anyway, and it went well with his go-to colour palette when it came to clothing — that being black.

It was something he could easily incorporate into his daily outfits, and to carry a piece of you with him while at it.

He had never worn it on a Vlive before, though, and it was fair to say he wasn't expecting people to actually comment on it, since it wasn't very different from any other black beanie he owned. Nevertheless, he could not hide his bright smile the moment it was brought up.

"Where did I get it?" Chan read after a few seconds. "Um… It actually belongs to someone very special to me and I kinda… stole it? So..." he giggled. "I can't really help you, guys, sorry".

He cleared his throat as he began scrolling through the comments.

"I'm still gonna call it my beanie, though".

If you were watching this, he knew you were asking for it back just to annoy him. But he would stick to his word. It was pretty much his by now anyway.

《 Lee Minho — Your phone case 》

It was no news that Minho loved his cats with his entire heart. So much, that he had kept a phone case with stickers of them for years — all of their faces being nothing but a blur by now, which he refused neither to take off nor to replace, claiming he could still recognise every single one of them.

But it was also no news that Minho loved you, and carrying something of yours with him at all times was something he would not pass up. Something subtle, that no one would really think was yours. Something only the two of you knew about.

A phone case seemed just perfect.

You had changed your phone last month and the old phone case you had been using for the past year was now forgotten inside one of your drawers. That is until Minho found it one day while looking for a pen in your room. 

He had joked around for a while about how you had betrayed him by getting a new phone and no longer having the same one as him, therefore, as soon as his eyes caught a glimpse of the flowery phone case lying in the darkness, he knew it was finally time to let go of his precious old one.

"Is that a new phone case?" Han had noticed during dinner a few days later.

Minho smiled, proudly showing it off to his curious members. "Yeah, I guess you could say so".

"Never thought you'd drop your beloved cats stickers over some meaningless flowers" Hyunjin taunted with a smirk.

But Minho only laughed it off, shaking his head and placing his phone back down on the table before he could stuff his mouth with some more jajangmyeon. 

Yeah, the phone case was nothing special, and he would even fight you about his cats' one being way superior —plus he was sure he would just get new stickers of them to put on it—. But it was not meaningless. This one used to belong to you. This one felt like having you with him at all times, and he would choose it over any other a thousand times.

《 Seo Changbin — Your scarf 》

"Here comes the fashion icon" Chan announced as soon as Changbin made it into their studio that night.

"What do you mean?" Bin wondered, dropping his gym bag by the door so he could take his coat off.

"The scarf," Han pointed out from his chair. "Everyone thinks you're making some kind of statement by now".

Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Changbin stared down at the pastel pink scarf wrapped around his neck, deciding to leave it on for a little bit longer instead as he walked up to his friends and took a seat next to them, so they could get started on producing.

It was winter and he owned no scarves. You had lent him yours one particular ice cold night after having hung out all evening at yours, so he wouldn't freeze nor would catch a cold on his way back to the dorm. It was very cozy. And cute. And it smelled like you. So, naturally, he just hadn't given it back. He probably would once spring arrived, or maybe he just wouldn't. Not like you were complaining anyway.

He hadn't thought much of it, he was just happy to have something of yours with him — especially if said something managed to keep him warm. That's why he was surprised, to say the least, to hear what his friends had to say.

"People are saying I look cool then?" he asked with a rather smug smirk.

Jisung dramatically placed his hand on his shoulder, not being able to contain his laugh. "I'm not sure if 'cool' is the right word, hyung".

Changbin's smile was instantly erased — a serious semblance taking over his face instead as he turned his hand into a fist and pretended to hit Han, whose laugh only turned louder.

Not like it matter how he looked like anyway, for he wasn't taking it off anytime soon.

《 Hwang Hyunjin — Your picture 》

"Ah, I forgot my wallet at home" Minho confessed right as their turn in line came, palming every pocket on his outfit while looking for it.

"So convenient," Hyunjin rolled his eyes, reaching into his pocket to get his wallet out. "I got you".

Opening it so he could take his card out, he was surprised by Minho snatching it from his hands. He didn't think much of it, however, letting his hyung check his wallet out as he was too busy paying for their coffees.

"Aww, our Hyunjin-ie is such a hopeless romantic, isn't he?" 

Hyunjin's confused eyes travelled back to Minho, panicking when he saw his right hand holding up the photo booth pictures of you he kept in there. 

"Yah, careful with them" he snatched them back right away, staring intently at every bit of the pictures, as if looking for any possible damage his simple touch had left.

Minho didn't try to suppress the laugh that had escaped his mouth over Hyunjin's dramatic reaction, taking the credit card the cashier was handing back and shoving his friend away from the ordering line.

"I get that Y/N looks great in them, but don't you think you're being a bit too dramatic?"

Hyunjin squinted his eyes at him, reluctantly letting Minho take the pictures once again in his hands so he could take a better look. 

He was really not being dramatic. Not at all, according to him. For not only were they his favourite pictures of you ever, but they were also taken the day you had officially started dating, and therefore had a special meaning to him.

He remembered how you had happily dragged him into the photo booth as soon as you had seen it from afar, and how the two of you had not stopped giggling the entire time. He remembered how you had pulled him into a loving kiss for the last picture, and how once you were done he had begged you to take some solo pictures for him to keep in his wallet and have with him at all times.

Half of the couple pictures were on his wall, and the other half were on yours, but these ones were sacred to him. They were all his, and he'd be damned if anything happened to them.

"Time's up," he blurted out, taking the pictures from Minho and carefully placing them back where they belonged. "Don't look at her too much".

《 Han Jisung — Your hoodie 》

"Did all the rest of your clothes go missing or something?" Changbin asked as soon as Han made it to the living room.

"What do you mean?" he questioned with a frown, taking a seat down on the sofa next to his hyung.

"This is the third time in a row you wear that hoodie this week".

Jisung looked down to the plain black hoodie he was wearing, the one he had taken off only to sleep in the span of the last three days. And that itself was a lot to ask of him — the only reason he'd take it off being so he could wear it all over again the next day, otherwise he would not have let go of it at all.

Truth was, it was one of those weeks when it came to his anxiety, and the group's schedule did not allow him neither to stay at home nor to go to you for comfort. So, wearing the oversized hoodie of yours he had snatched from your closet last year before going on tour —and which he had oh-so-conveniently forgotten to give back— was the best way to go.

He knew it might sound ridiculous, considering it was literally a piece of clothing and it no longer smelled like you, but somehow it managed to make him feel like you were right there with him, helping most of his demons go away as you embraced him in your comforting, familiar arms.

"I just like it" he mumbled, shoving his hands into the front pocket.

That hoodie alone gave him the peace of mind he so badly needed. It wasn't the cure, of course, but it helped him get by. And he would wear it one week straight if he had to.

《 Lee Felix — Your perfume 》

"Do you have Y/N hidden here somewhere?" Chan joked the moment he entered Felix's hotel room.

"I wish I did" Felix laughed, going up to get some water for him and his hyung. "Why?"

Chan shrugged, sitting by the edge of the bed and taking the bottle Lix was offering him. "Smells like your room back home, which smells like her".

"I mean," Felix couldn't hide the shyness on his face. "I brought her perfume with me and sprayed some of it on the pillows last night, so…"

Seeing the look Chan was giving him right then, he decided to say no more — instead chugging the water down as he felt his cheeks burn up in embarrassment.

It wasn't like he had bought a brand new bottle of your perfume to bring with him, he was not insane. You were starting to run out of that perfume of yours he loved so much and he decided to get you a new bottle… and keep the one with little to none of it so he could bring on tour with him and spray around —or straight up wear— whenever he missed you.

Then again he always missed you, but he was really trying to control himself from using it all and inevitably having to go and buy a whole new bottle of it.

"So that's why you were smelling like her for an entire day last week?" Chan laughed incredulously. "I thought she had stolen the shirt you were wearing before the tour started or something".

"Nah, the scent doesn't stick around for that long. I was just wearing her perfume".

"You're whipped," Chan giggled, earning a shy laugh from Felix. "But at least you smell nice".

《 Kim Seungmin — Your necklace 》

"This isn't what I had in mind when I told you you should try another necklace out" Felix confessed as soon as Seungmin made it back into the living room.

Seungmin had never really been into jewelry, until he met you. Well, he still wasn't into jewelry that much as a whole, but he did love with everything in him the necklace Felix had suggested for him to go change.

It was a silver necklace with a single, small butterfly hanging on it. You had worn it on your first date, he remembered very clearly — the way his breathing had stopped the moment he saw you, still managed to send shivers down his spine. It was funny how he had been so goddamn nervous back then, and now this necklace alone was enough to make him feel at ease. 

That's what you had given it to him for, after all — Seungmin had been very nervous the night before one of their biggest gigs, and you would not be able to be there for him, so you gave it to him so you could still be there with him somehow.

He just never gave it back afterwards, and he would wear it every single time they had an important schedule. To the point Felix had started to hand him some of his own jewelry so he could have something else to wear and change things up a little bit.

But Seungmin didn't want other jewelry. Not at all. He just wanted to wear your necklace, regardless of it not being very fashionable of him.

That's how he had ended up currently wearing two necklaces that morning. The one Felix had given him to change into, and yours, which he had refused to take off.

Felix's eyes let him know just how much disbelief he actually was in, only to then shake it off with a small snort and a pat to his shoulder. "You're whipped".

A shy smile parted Seungmin's lips as he brushed it off. If wanting to carry with him something of yours during the craziest days meant he was whipped, then yes, he totally was.

《 Yang Jeongin — Your hair tie 》

"Anyone have a hair tie I can borrow?" Hyunjin asked from the middle of the practice room, helplessly trying to keep his long hair out of his face.

"Ah, I used to have one but I don't know where I left it" Felix lamented, going up to check inside his bag anyway.

Jeongin remained sitting down with his knees pressed to his chest, arms loosely resting over them as he mindlessly played with the baby blue hair tie he had borrowed —not to say stolen— from you a good while ago, back when his hair used to be longer.

You were having dinner at yours one night and his hair would not stop getting all over his face every time he tried to slurp down his noodles, so at one point you had reached for the hair tie on your wrist and gently tied his hair into a rather short ponytail — one that had you gushing over how cute he looked and earned you a blissful peck from him.

He could only remember wearing it once or twice to actually tie his hair after that, any other time it would act as a bracelet instead. By now, it was fair to say it was his lucky charm he could not go anywhere without.

That's why his heart jumped the moment he heard Seungmin next to him let everyone know, "Innie has one!"

"What?"

"Oh, thank God," Hyunjin sighed out of relief, increasing Jeongin's panic as he came closer. "My hair is driving me crazy".

"Wait, no" he pulled his arm to his chest, holding onto the hair tie on his wrist for dear life. "It's not a hair tie".

Seungmin snorted, gently pulling at it. "What do you mean it's not a hair tie, it clearly is".

"I mean it is, but it's not…" he exasperatedly tried to explain, having to take a deep breath to collect his thoughts. "Y/N gave it to me. I'll see if I can find something else for you to tie your hair with".

Had it been any other item, he would've let them borrow it right away. But there was just no way he was giving his precious tie away.

[lilmoony]

hii, i was wondering if for the "what are we?" prompts if you could please do some sort of combination of "what do you want us to be?" and "i was hoping we could be more than just friends" with felix? that would be so awesome! thank you <3

“What are we?”

The way you said those words made Felix's heart ache. It was hardly a whisper, for your voice betrayed you and cracked as you stared down to the cold pavement.

This wasn't how either of you expected this night to go. It was supposed to be a fun time; a house party with loud music, lots of people and many drinks to intoxicate your system. You and him were supposed to have a blast and get rid of all the stress you had been feeling lately.

Instead, you found yourselves sitting down on the sidewalk after you had run out one second and he followed you the next one.

Felix sat in silence next to you, concernedly staring into your miserable expression as your eyes remained focused on the ground and wouldn't dare to look back at him — the only sign of you acknowledging his presence right next to you being how you hugged the jacket he had placed over your shoulders a minute ago.

He didn't exactly get what happened. He had been talking to a friend of his he ran into, and then he saw you rushedly crossing the front door. He ran after you before he could even process it, only to be even more confused when he found you sitting down on the sidewalk, looking as if your heart had just been broken.

Still, even with such a look on your face, the words that had so weakly abandoned your lips caught him completely off guard.

He didn't know if he had heard it right. He didn't know what you wanted him to answer, nor did he know what to answer without compromising your entire friendship, which is why he ended up uncomfortably shifting in his place and clearing his throat before his eyes fixed on the house across the road.

“What do you want us to be?” He replied, voice nearly as weak as yours.

“That's not fair” you recriminated.

“What's not fair?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I'm asking you what we are,” your eyes finally fixed on his, and he could see how hurt you actually were. “I want you to answer, not to leave me with the responsibility of choosing”.

“So I'm supposed to choose?” He asked; not mad, but troubled as hell. “I don't know what you want me to say, Y/N”.

“Just, whatever you want us to be”.

“I'm in the same place as you here” his voice trembled. “I don't think my feelings for you could be any stronger, but we're… you're my best friend. I love you so much, Y/N, I don't want us to… risk it all and then lose you, I don't know”.

A bittersweet smile curved up your lips. You knew he loved you, and he knew you loved him. Neither of you had ever said it before, but you hadn't bothered to hide it either. Therefore, it didn't come out as much of a surprise when he confessed it like that.

Both of you were well aware of your mutual feelings, but neither of you dared to actually act up on them, in fear of it meaning to lose one another in the future. You were in love with each other dearly, but you treasured your friendship more.

Up until that night, at least, for things had just changed on your end.

“I love you, too” you confessed back, feeling him take a shaky breath. “And I used to think the same, that I didn't want to risk it all and then lose you”.

“Then?”

“Then…” you sighed, resting your palms on the pavement as you leaned back. “Then I saw the way Yumin looked at you, and how much you laughed with her and how happy you looked back then… and I realised that I was okay with not risking it all and being just friends til the end of times because it didn't cross my mind that at some point you'd be with someone else”.

“I'm not with Yumin,” he shut that idea of yours down immediately. “I just ran into her back there and we were catching up, we're not—”

“It doesn't matter,” you gave him another weak smile, as they seemed to be the only ones you had left. “You will fall for someone else at some point anyway, whether it's her or not, and I don't think I'll be able to just stand there and keep being your friend”.

“Y/N…”

“I really won't be able to stand it, Lix” your eyes watered. “The mere thought of you and her hurt like hell, what's it gonna be like when you actually do fall for someone else an—”

Your words were cut off by his mouth pressing lightly on yours. Just like that, the fate of your friendship had been settled.

It was the sweetest way you had ever been told to shut up, and you could only sit there and return the kiss after a couple of seconds, when you managed to snap out of it and realised you were in fact not dreaming.

It was delicate, soft, and didn't last long; only enough to stop you from talking nonsense and to let you know just how truly and deeply he felt for you.

“There isn't anyone else,” he whispered once he faintly pulled away. “There won't ever be someone else”.

You closed your eyes, resting your forehead on his and letting his breathing mix up with yours as you took in his words.

You loved him. He loved you. No matter how scared you were of a future without him if things didn't end up working out, you were sure that being so deeply in love with each other and not being together hurt just as much.

It almost seemed stupid not to give in to your feelings now.

“I think I want us to be more than friends…” you murmured, finally opening your eyes to meet his beaming chocolate ones.

Felix smiled, lightly nodding his head as he leaned in once more. “Good,” he pecked your lips. “Because I don't think I can keep myself from kissing you anymore”.

[lilmoony]

jisung: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*

chan, standing on the roof: bless you.

jisung: God?!

[lilmoony]

Hi bestie! I have a request...reader hits skz either the infamous "jeogiyo noona hoksi namjachingu isseoyo?" Line 😂😭(I've never sent asks in so I hope you see this(·•᷄∩•᷅ ) )

hi hi ~ ofc ! sksjkfjs we do love j.one 😭🩷 pre-debut han will remain iconic..... perhaps even in the history books

warnings: swearing, binnie's & lixie's have some 18+ elements (idk where I was going with it?? ajahjdja), break up jokes, reader calls hyune a harlot (affectionate)

more notes of: idk what I was doing in lixie's n minnie's like why did I try n break the fourth wall?? we will never know!

-> bang chan & lee know

-> changbin & hyunjin

-> han & felix

-> seungmin & jeongin

[lilmoony]

skz reactions when u send them a meme of themselves - ot8

warnings: swearing, 'whore' mentions in seungmins texts, break up jokes, some r a tiny bit suggestive??

a/n: I giggled. stays r so funny truly the best fandom skskdjsj

hope these r funny I lost my flow after hyunie😔

[lilmoony]

dear wattpad user NayAckerm4n, who i know is reading this because their pathetic ass probably refreshes stayblr authors’ pages every five minutes looking for new content to steal, you forgot to also translate the copyright message i leave underneath every single one of the writings i post, bitch! can’t even copy and paste correctly? get your shit together

[lilmoony]

It's a bad idea, right? (04)

*ೃ༄ pairing: han jisung x fem!reader.

*ೃ༄ genre: college!au, brother's best friend & 3racha Jisung (yes he is his own genre lol), y/n is Minho's slightly younger sister, childhood friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, drama, my attempt at humor.

*ೃ༄ word count: 14k.

*ೃ༄ summary: The Lee siblings' rule was simple: don’t flirt, kiss, sleep, or even dare to think about dating the other sibling’s friends. Pretty straightforward stuff, right? No matter how ridiculous that rule sounds now, both of you respected it religiously for years, being one of the main reasons your relationship remained as strong as it did for so long. But, what happens when your brother decides to break it on a random Friday night, at a frat party, with one of your closest friends? You decide to take revenge, of course. And what better way to do it than with the help of his precious best friend, Han Jisung, whom you’ve been crushing on since forever?

*ೃ༄ warnings: cursing, suggestive themes (these two are still very horny for each other), sexual tension, marking, spit (lmao).

♡. part 03 .♡

♡. a/n: i can't believe we finally reached the end!! :( i will sob fr. firstly, i want to thank everyone who followed this story! your asks, reblogs and little tags make me the happiest every time i go back and read them <3 thank you so much for all the support and nice words you've sent me! i'm so grateful so many of you enjoyed this story and wanted to share your beautiful thoughts with me :( <3 <3 <3 second, i'll definitetly write side stories based on this, just ask fghfd. finally, a special thank you for my baby laure (@byunfirstlady) who has read every chapter for me before posting and gave me very helpful feedback! <333

“What the actual fuck are you two doing?”

The moment gets ruined instantly and you come crashing to the ground, free falling from the fluffy cloud Jisung with his plush lips and wandering hands transported you to moments prior. All of the muscles in your body stiffen up as you stop kissing him back, eyes snapping open in search of the all too familiar voice you somehow heard over the booming music and the pounding heartbeat that was resonating in your ears. Something like fear envelops you but that’s quickly replaced by a new wave of excitement, far different from the one that Jisung ignites in you, when your gaze finally falls on the person that dared to interrupt the moment you’ve dreamt about since forever.

Your brother, Minho, is standing a few feet away with an indecipherable look on his face.

Jisung pulls away with not as much reluctance as you hoped for and the smirk tugging at the corner of his kiss swollen lips confuses you further. Why does he look…proud?

Trying to slow down your wildly beating heart, you clear your throat and glare at your brother with all the annoyance you can muster through your desired filled head.

“What the hell do you want, Minho?”

Your arms are still around Jisung’s neck and even though he’s not devouring you anymore, his body remains between your legs, one hand resting comfortably on your upper thigh. While your body shrunk away, Jisung stands tall, as sure of himself as always with no sign of awkwardness at being caught making out with his best friend’s sister by the best friend himself. This was your plan all along but somehow, he looks happier than you.

“What are you doing?” Minho repeats himself, voice louder and clearly angrier than before.

“Nothing now since you decided to butt in and ruin everything, like always!”

Even in this barely lit room, you can see the hurt flashing before his eyes and that, for some reason, tugs at your heartstrings in the most unpleasant way. He takes a step back and that’s when you gently nudge Jisung away, jumping down from the table ungracefully.

Neither of you speaks for several moments, just stare the other down like you were in a ring at a boxing match, trying to intimidate your opponent. It’s silly, especially since even Jisung chuckles under his breath, enjoying the show a little too much for your liking.

Maintaining eye contact, your brother crosses his arms in a show of deviance. “This is a low blow even for you, Y/n.”

That’s when you see red and march right up in his face, forgetting all about the compassion and guilt you felt a mere minute ago. “’Even for me?’ For me?! What about your best friend that’s standing right here laughing his ass off?”

“I was expecting this from him.” He states, glaring down at you. “He fucks everything that can walk, after all.”

His words feel like a knife straight to your heart, the finishing blow that causes you to visibly recoil out of Minho’s personal bubble and get knocked down momentarily. He wins this round; however, Minho doesn’t look pleased with his triumph.

His icy glare softens, jaw clenching in obvious regret but that doesn’t mean he stops there. “Jisung would ditch me in a foreign country if it meant getting his dick wet. You, however, are my sister. I didn’t expect such betrayal from you.”

“Payback is a fucking bitch, isn’t she?”

Behind you and completely out of the conversation, Jisung laughs like he’s heard the funniest joke of the century and that’s when you finally witness the effect of the alcohol in his veins. That’s when you realize he is indeed drunk and possibly high out of his mind – stuff you were too busy to notice when his tongue was down your throat.

Since he isn’t able to process the gravity of the situation, this is downright hilarious to him.

If Minho notices, he doesn’t say anything which only causes the alcohol that got to your own head to swirl angrily. “Payback? So, you did this out of fucking spite?”

“Of course, I did!” You explode, throwing your arms up in anger. “Don’t forget you hurt and betrayed me first! These are the results of your own actions, Minho!”

“I didn’t do it on fucking purpose, though!” His arms fall to the side, along his body, eyes as cold as ever. “I didn’t go out of my way to cook this scheme to deliberately hurt you, Y/n! You fucking did.”

That’s when all the fire in his eyes goes out, vanishing like him processing and putting together the pieces of your little plan was a bucket of cold water thrown on him. One that leaves him soaked and vulnerable, hurt. Hurt and disappointed.

You can live with that, disappointing him. It was the natural path of life, disappointing your older brother and everyone around with your poor choices. What you couldn’t live with, however, was hurting him.

Minho has always been a pillar in your life, strong and unmoving, almost undefeated. Nothing and nobody could ever take him down in your eyes, too powerful and resilient for anyone to even try. But what you learnt the hard way, was that this image you created of him in your head was far from the truth. He cried and broke down just like everyone else, just not in front of you. Not in front of his little sister who needed to know she could rely on him, needed to see him strong and unphased by all the stuff that made her cry her eyes out as he comforted her.

Hurting Minho felt like the world was suddenly swept from under your feet. Like you were suddenly floating in outer space with no place to call home. You were sure the pain caused by hurting him was greater for you than it was for him, even though he was the victim in the whole ordeal.

What you don’t know even to this day is that Minho felt the exact same. Because Minho never let you in, never showed you his vulnerable side and did everything to protect you without even consulting you first.

“This is still your fault.” You whisper, not being able to look him in the eyes anymore, the music suddenly too loud. “None of this would have happened if you didn’t come up with that stupid promise.”

The Lee siblings’ rule. The one that started this whole mess.

Shaking his head, Minho doesn’t make any effort to reach out to you anymore, voice devoid of any emotion that only makes your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. “Sorry for wanting to protect you.”

And with that, the first thing you see when you finally lift your head is him turning his back to you and walking away, still missing his jacket. Jacket he discarded for you and your well-being.

Your brother seems cold to others, mean even, but you always said his big heart would be his downfall. Putting everyone else above him will inevitably cause him to hit the bottom in the most painful way.

Just like he did now.

Your mind and heart are currently having a showdown, fighting for dominance in making the next choice. Your mind is screaming at you to turn around back into Jisung’s arm and forget all about your brother while your heart is pleading you to go after him, to fix everything. You want to do everything and nothing at the same time. It’s confusing, and exhausting, like a game of tug of war taking place right in your body with no regard to your slipping sanity.

In the end, your heart wins, knocking out your mind but as you move in the direction Minho disappeared, Jisung’s sturdy arms find your middle and pull you back instantly.

“Congrats, sweetheart.” He speaks lowly, almost like he was sober and you can’t stop the way your whole body melts against him, reacting on its own. “You finally got back at your brother.”

Something feels off about the way he says that so, you make to turn around in his arms just for him to let go and walk right past you, after Minho. That leaves you flabbergasted, confused and hurt with tears welling up in your eyes and before your mind can protest again, your heart makes the call and yells after him, desperate. Nobody pays you any mind though, acting like you weren’t there slowly crumbling to the ground in a pathetic display of emotions you can’t seem to control, heightened by the alcohol in your veins.

Like you were invisible, screaming into the darkest and coldest void, you remained there just silently crying.

Did Jisung just…abandon you? Choose your brother over the fragile heart you presented him with on a silver platter?

Was it all a game to him? Or was he just a pawn in the harmless game you created, the one that ended up hurting you the most?

How could he just walk away like nothing even happened? Like you were the bad guy this whole time?

Was this really what love felt like? Because if so, you had no desire to experience it ever again.

Like you were on autopilot, your body moves on its own in search of the only person that still has your back. The only person that you didn’t hurt or turn against you.

The tears running down your cheeks along with all the party goers and flashing lights make it harder for you to navigate and find him, but when you finally do, a loud sob escapes your now-chapped lips.

“Felix…”

Felix isn’t alone, busily locking lips with a random girl in the huge hot tub but the moment your voice reaches him, he pulls away instantly, eyes wide. When they fall on you and take in your state, the complete opposite of the one you left in, anger contorts his beautiful and soft features in a way not suited for his face. Unusual.

“Oh, I’m going to beat his fucking ass.”

・❥・・❥・・❥・

Somehow, things ended in the way Felix predicted at the beginning. Han Jisung left you all alone, struggling to put together the heart he broke carelessly like it meant nothing to him. The heart you gave him without a word that he wasn’t even aware of owning.

At first, everything was a game to you. A silly way to get back at the brother that hurt you without meaning to – a way to make Minho have a taste of his own medicine. But as time went on and your relationship progressed, you quickly realized that the feelings you harboured for Jisung weren’t as superficial as everyone thought. And so, the game slowly turned into something real and your mask dropped, abandoning the well thought out character you created just for this ploy.

Jisung was no longer a means to an end, he was someone you wanted to know everything about. Every quirk, every detail on his beautiful face along with everything that happened in his exciting world. Everything there was to know about Han Jisung, you wanted to become an expert in. Wanted to know him inside and out to be able to love it all without any hesitation.

But unfortunately, he didn’t share the same sentiment. As noble as his intentions were, Jisung only spent all of that time with you just to see your plan come to fruition, to help you achieve your silly revenge.

You were stupid for not realizing it sooner, for only seeing it the moment he walked away from you like one does from a stranger.

Han Jisung, the genius prodigy has outsmarted you once again. Only this time, it hurt so much to the point you struggled to breathe, the pieces of your broken heart puncturing your lungs.

His kisses and sinful lips took your breath away but forgot to return it, ring-cladded hands dropping your heart and letting it get stomped on by everyone at the party. You didn’t know what hurt more – not being able to breathe or not being able to feel anything else other than the phantom feeling of your missing heart?

“Good morning, sleepy head.” Felix’s morning voice brings you back to the present moment, eyes bleary with sleep and voice even lower than usual as he sets a plate on your lap while petting your head lovingly. “Why are you awake so early?”

It takes you a moment to recognize his place, the horrible headache only allowing your mind to curse at the stupidity you displayed last night by drinking too much. Currently on his plush couch, you’re sitting up with a fluffy blanket around your shoulders, still dressed in the clothes from the party, hair a mess.

“My head hurts.” Is all you manage to mumble, reaching up to rub at your tired eyes.

Felix chuckles lowly, his own blonde hair as dishevelled as you felt when he bends down to kiss the crown of your head. “Why don’t you go and take a shower? I laid out some new clothes for you to change into.”

You nod, seeing no point in protesting since you felt a bit gross anyway but, something holds you back. A scent. Jisung’s cologne is still present on your clothes and every time you move, a whiff of it reaches your nose and makes you feel lightheaded in the best way. His scent lingered on your skin, enveloping your body like a warm blanket and if you showered now, it would be all gone in a blink of an eye.

“Darling…” Felix mumbles and suddenly, his arms are bringing you into a warm embrace. “What’s wrong?”

You want to answer, to say it’s nothing but the moment your mouth opens, the only thing that escapes past your lips is a quiet sob which causes you to hide your face in his stomach. Felix’s hold on you tightens and his chin rests tenderly on the top of your head as he begins to comfort you quietly, palms running up and down your back soothingly.

He lets you cry for a while before coaxing your face out of hiding, wiping your tears and leading you to the bathroom for a much-needed shower. After, you put on the clothes he mentioned earlier and leaves the dress there, on the bathroom floor, its vibrant red colour suddenly dull and ugly but still smelling like the man that made it shine. Or rather, the man that made you shine while wearing it.

Twenty minutes later, you’re back on the couch you realized you’ve slept on, sitting while Felix gently removes your makeup and reminds you to eat some of the fruit he’s cut up for a light breakfast. His thoughtfulness regarding your hangover almost makes you tear up again but he’s right here to stop it just in time.

“Feeling much better now, right?” His voice is soft, eyes warm and full of compassion. “I tried to get you to change last night but you just passed out the moment you sat on the couch.”

You didn’t even realize you were that drunk. How embarrassing.

“Yeah, thank you, Lix.” You nod, closing your eyes as his gentle fingers bring the makeup wipe to remove the smudge eyeshadow.

For a few minutes, all you can hear is his humming as Felix focuses on removing all of the makeup from last night, treating your face with the utmost care. He comes to a stop at your lips that were crimson just hours ago, now with barely any lipstick left as most of it remained on Jisung’s face.

Then, his hand moves down, wiping at your neck before his brows furrow in slight confusion. “Why do you have lipstick on your neck?”

It dawns on the both of you once he moves your hair out of the way and you let out a surprised gasp as his fingers graze the side of your throat. Oh my god, you totally forgot about the hickey –

“Ew, Y/n.” Felix grimaces and looks away, letting his hand fall back into his lap. “What are you, fifteen?”

Your face feels like it’s on fire as images from last night start replaying in your head, recalling every breath, kiss and nip Jisung left on your heated skin, the way his hands caressed every curve and worshipped your body like it was a piece of art. He made you feel beautiful and wanted, something nobody has managed to do at the same time.

As your gaze lowers in embarrassment, you notice something incriminating on his own neck. “Are you being serious right now?” You can tell he has no idea what you’re talking about even as you reach over and pinch the skin, making him gasp as well. “Look at yourself!”

Curious, he grabs his phone and opens the front camera, pointing it to his neck. What he sees there makes his eyes widen comically and he stands up in a flash, running to the bathroom while cursing under his breath, not believing the trail of dark bruises that is currently staining his smooth skin. Felix, with all of his sex appeal, is not a fan of marking so his reaction along with the now louder curses leaving his lips have you laughing wholeheartedly. Until you remember Hyunjin is still sound asleep in the next room and you slap a hand over your mouth, muffling the sound.

“The first thing I told that girl last night was to keep her clammy ass mouth away from my neck! How the fuck am I going to show up to practice like this?”

He comes back into the room, huffing and puffing and with no care regarding Hyunjin’s beauty sleep.

“Clammy mouth?” You giggle, throwing your head back. “Don’t you mean wet, Lix?”

“Whatever! I’m too mad to speak proper English right now!”

Mad Felix looks exactly like an angry kitten, cute and not intimidating at all. Of course, that’s only the case when he isn’t mad at Han Jisung.

You reach out to comfort him once he sits back down, caressing the back of his head. “Don’t worry. I’ll cover them up for you.”

That seems to make him feel a tiny bit better and he lets himself fall back against the couch, head rolling to the side in sudden exhaustion. Even for him and his hangover self, it was too early in the morning for all of this drama. He was still handling everything way better than you though, stepping up to care for you first and his needs second. You really didn’t deserve him.

“By the way,” He mumbles, turning his head towards you. “Your brother texted me. He’s worried.”

Yeah, despite your fight, you didn’t doubt that one bit. Minho tends to worry about you even when there’s nothing to worry about, making himself sick in the process like he was a child and not a responsible adult.

“I guess I’ll have to go home and face him at some point.” You sigh.

Worry is also visible on his freckled features as you lay back next to him, voice soft and careful. “What happened? You were inconsolable last night.”

There’s no point in keeping it from him, even if remembering last night brings forth a multitude of emotions that almost overwhelm you. “It finally happened. Minho saw Jisung and I making out.”

Felix clicks his tongue and you know he finally understands everything, like this simple information was all he needed for the puzzle to be complete. Somehow, he isn’t surprised by it, nor is he taken aback – like you making out with Jisung was a usual occurrence that happened all the time. But since he saw the hickey, you’re guessing it would’ve been silly for him to not put two and two together.

“And? Isn’t this what you wanted from the beginning?”

Of course, it is. You were on this same couch when you came up with your silly master plan, after all.

“Yeah.” You nod, looking down as a wave of regret comes crashing over you. “But he got upset, more so than I did. He actually looked hurt, Lix.”

Felix raises an eyebrow. “Because you kissed his best friend? Are they in a secret relationship you didn’t tell me about?”

The laugh you let out allows more air to finally enter your lungs, clearing your head. “Uh, maybe? You know how weird they are.”

“Yeah, even weirder than us.” You both share a conspiratorial giggle, playfully nudging the other.

Reaching out for another piece of fruit on the forgotten plate, you continue. “Anyways, after that happened Jisung made me feel like everything was my fault and went after Minho, ignoring all of my attempts at trying to talk to him.”

This time, Felix is annoyed for real, no longer resembling an adorable kitten but a furious cat. Still cute but also intimidating. “You should’ve let me kick his ass a long time ago, Y/n. I could’ve beat the concept of ‘respect’ into him earlier on.”

You shake your head, not surprised in the slightest that Felix’s first response was once again related to violence. “You know, Lix, beating people up isn’t always the answer.”

The smile that stretches across his features is so bright and genuine, you’d think he just got the most amazing news of his life and isn’t currently plotting someone’s downfall. So cute but so vicious, Felix’s duality never fails to frighten you.

“Only when it comes to Han Jisung.” He shrugs nonchalantly, still smiling while putting his hands behind his head. “Violence is always my favourite answer then.”

You thought you and Felix were two peas in a pod but on second thought, maybe he and your brother are actual long-lost twins separated at birth. That would explain their shared love for resolving every conflict or problem by fighting. The only thing that differentiates them is their feelings towards Jisung.

Felix and Jisung have never gotten along, despite being pretty similar and their shared interests. A shame, really, but they just never clicked. Crossing paths in high school, every one of their conversations always ended in an argument, neither being able to get their point across in a civilized manner. It all started with a disagreement and Jisung being a bit too brash while making his point for Felix to get the ick and dislike him instantly. He thought Jisung was stuck up and annoying while the man thought Felix was a two-faced bitch, too fake for his liking.

There wasn’t any deeper reason for their beef, not that you were aware of anyway. Just two guys overflowing with testosterone hating each other’s guts.

“What are you going to do about him?” Felix asks eventually, wanting to get you out of your head.

You shrug because truth be told, you had no idea. “Maybe I’ll just stop bothering him. I think he’s made his feelings for me pretty clear.”

In translation: I think Jisung hates me so I’ll stop chasing an unobtainable fantasy and move on.

Felix used the best friend translator by the way he frowns with his whole face, looking like a rained-on kitten. “As much as I dislike this specimen, darling, I think you’re mistaken.”

Your stubbornness reaches a new high this morning because you don’t budge, shaking your head firmly. “He keeps slipping in and out of my life whenever he pleases, Lix. I’m tired.”

And he can see that, especially since he’s the one who could always see right through you and his heart can’t help but break at the sight. However, your best friend doesn’t budge either.

“I really think you should just have a heart-to-heart and figure it all out together.” He says softly, reaching out to move some hair out of your face.

Leaning into his touch, you move closer, suddenly needing one of his healing hugs. “Nope. I’m done being the one that does all the chasing. I want to be chased for once. Want to have someone be afraid of losing me.”

His arm around your middle tightens its hold, squeezing reassuringly in a silent show of support. However, where you expected him to drop it, Felix instead says something that throws your whole world upside down, giving you whiplash in the process.

“Don’t you love him?”

Pulling away from him like burnt, the incredulous look on your face makes him chuckle, casually reaching for another piece of fruit like he isn’t pushing you to admit feelings you aren’t even sure of. But, when have you ever been sure of anything? Were you really that oblivious, missing the clear signs all the damn time?

Defeated, you look down and your next words come out not louder than a whisper. “I don’t know…”

Felix can sympathize, you’re sure. Once, he had multiple people confess to him at the same time and the whole ordeal confused him so much that he ended up rejecting the one person he actually cared for just because he didn’t take time to himself to realize his feelings. It was a mess but on one hand, it showed you the way you shouldn’t act when it came to love. Peer pressure could be a horrible thing.

He nods, as understanding as ever. “Okay, then think about it.”

“I’ve been thinking about it for years now, Lix.” You sigh, on the brink of exasperation. “What if it’s just physical attraction? What then?”

“That’s a good enough start.” A small smile creeps onto his features. “You can still start dating and end up falling for him properly.”

Okay, that’s something you never thought you’d hear from your best friend of all people. Felix? Encouraging you to date Jisung? What the fuck kind of parallel universe did you step into while you were sleeping?

“You want me to…” You can barely finish the sentence, so flabbergasted and suddenly suspicious of the person in front of you. “date Jisung? You?!”

Felix laughs and nods, happiness radiating off of him like you’re talking about his favourite video game and not the guy he can’t stand. “You’ve been talking my ear off about this guy for so long now, Y/n. Can you blame me for finally getting tired?”

Heat rushes to your face and you groan, bringing one of the blankets up to swallow you whole, hiding from his teasing.

“Besides,” He continues, gently prying your hands off to look you in the eyes, “nobody has the right to tell you who to love or not, not me and especially not Minho. The way I’ve been acting wasn’t okay and I’m sorry.”

As his words sink in, you slowly realize that what he’s saying is right. Both he and Minho have been brushing your feelings aside for years, discouraging and building wall after wall between you and the only person you’ve truly ever wanted. But even so, even with all the obstacles, flowers still managed to bloom their way to him, one by one carrying a small piece of your heart among their colourful petals.

The question was, did he even pick them up? Make his way around the concrete walls to collect all the pieces of the puzzle that made your feelings. Did he plant flowers of his own or just leave yours to wither pathetically, not even sparing them a glance?

You’ve never seen behind the many walls, never knew what exactly was waiting for you at the end of it all. But, throughout the years, you’ve caught a glimpse here and there, of Jisung carrying a small bouquet of fragile flowers in his strong arms, just for them to slip through his fingers one by one a moment later. A heartbreaking sight that usually brought tears to your eyes, ones that dried instantly the moment he started trying to take down those walls that only seemed to regenerate with just one look from Minho. Or a simple sentence from Felix.

This past month spent by his side is the most you’ve seen of him, like somehow, he managed to lift you above it all so you could finally see past the many barriers and obstacles. That’s why, the events that took place last night felt like he finally got tired of carrying you, dropping your flowers back to your side and out of his sight.

Out of sight, out of mind. Did Jisung finally realize he was allergic to flowers?

Tears well up in your eyes for the nth time that morning but now, you just look away stubbornly, not wanting Felix to see, building a wall between you two as well.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter now since I’m never going to speak to Han Jisung again.”

Guilt and sadness radiate off of your best friend who sits up, with a hint of something that smells exactly like annoyance. “Darling, please – “

“No. My mind is made up, Lix.”

He exhales deeply, trying to remain calm. “Fine, then I guess you have no problem with me going over to knock him out.”

That gets all of your attention, making you snap your head in his direction in a panic. “Felx, no – “

・❥・・❥・・❥・

After a long and tedious conversation with Felix, somewhere along the line Hyunjin got woken up and joined, and then you had two people pestering you about your stupid childhood crush. For someone who was against it for so long, Felix was surely insistent in trying to make you see his point, not giving up until he convinced you to talk to Jisung.

Or that’s what he thinks. You finally agreed just to get him off your back for the time being, so that conversation is surely not happening any time soon. Of course, you wanted to see Jisung and speak to him – you had a whole list of things you wanted to ask him – but, not right now.

Now, you need to stop making him a priority in your life. Your every thought couldn’t revolve around him anymore, even though this proved to be the most difficult task of them all when all you seemed to think about late at night was him and the way his lips burnt every inch of your skin with their sinful kisses. So intense it never failed to make you dizzy each time.

Speaking off, that same night you made your way back to your own house, leaving behind two pouting grown-ups that enjoyed your company a little too much. Can one develop separation anxiety after one day spent together? If so, Hyunjin and Felix might need therapy.

Still dressed in a pair of sweats and hoodie that belonged to Felix, with your dress and heels in a plastic bag, you quietly unlocked the front door to the apartment you and your brother got together once you started university. It was a nice place, dare say even nicer than the one Felix and Hyunjin shared, but it still couldn’t compare to your actual house. But that house was in a neighbourhood on the other side of the city and commuting to your university each day was a hassle. Jisung, who lived in the same neighbourhood didn’t have that problem since he went to a different university so he’s still living with his parents when he isn’t travelling around the country with 3racha.

As you quietly closed the door and began removing your shoes, hurried tiny footsteps ran over to greet you, excited by your final arrival. All three of the cats surrounded you, with Dori being the first to plop down on your feet and show his belly, purring loudly and melting your heart in the process.

“Y/n?” Minho’s voice calls out from somewhere in the house and you hesitate for a moment before following it, flipping on all the lights on your way to him. Minho’s telltale sign was that every time he was sad, he just sat in complete darkness, wallowing in self-pity with his phone as the only light source. If your heart wasn’t already ripped in two, that would’ve done it.

“Hey, Min.” As expected, you find him on the couch, wrapped snuggly in a fluffy blanket, completely ignoring the tv in the background that was lighting up his face. Turning on the lights, he turns to you squinting. “Are you a vampire now, or what?”

Your brother tries to smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes that were already devoid of any light. Silently, he pats the seat beside him and you comply instantly, sitting down and forgetting all about your bags.

“Hi.” He greets softly, turning his body towards you. “I was worried when you didn’t come home last night.”

“I’m sorry.” The apology escapes you before you can even dwell on it, truly feeling bad. “For everything, Min.”

Minho shakes his head, not wanting to hear any of it. “If there’s one of us that needs to apologize, then it’s certainly me. I’m sorry, Y/n.”

And you know exactly what he’s talking about. The pact, the fact that he made you promise you would never act upon your feelings for his best friend. You weren’t stupid – the whole thing started because of him and him alone, Jisung. But, were your feelings that bad? Such horrible ones that deserved to be locked away and drowned every time they wanted to come to the surface?

Was love such a crime?

Taking into account the way Jisung abandoned you last night, acting like nothing ever happened between the two of you, you guessed it was. Maybe Minho was right after all, not allowing you to go after his best friend.

Still, your curiosity was now greater than ever. It had years to grow and flourish after all.

“Why…did you do it?” There was no need for you to clarify, Minho knew exactly what you were talking about.

With a sigh, he brings the blanket closer, almost like he wants to hide. “I knew you were infatuated with Jisung back then, Y/n. But he was going through the biggest heartbreak of his life at the time and after what happened with Felix, I couldn’t sit back and let you go through something similar again.”

You’re silent, thinking back on that time of your life. So back then, when you were crying on his chest in his car, Jisung was falling apart? With his heart broken in two, struggling to keep it together, he held and comforted you without thinking twice, desperately wanting to make you feel better.

Jisung was in pain yet he still managed to mend the heart he didn’t break. Still managed to put you back together while his light was slowly fading away.

Jisung did all of that…for you?

“The whole ordeal left him numb to a lot of things in the long run so I couldn’t let you fall for him when I knew he wasn’t in the right head space to return your feelings.” Minho continues, taking your silence as his sign to do so. “I didn’t want to see you in pain again.”

He scoots closer to you on the couch, touching your knee with his since you’re both sitting cross-legged. “So then, the idea of the pact came to me. I was all like ‘okay, what can I do to prevent my little sister from getting hurt?’”

A multitude of emotions come rushing forward, hitting you at the same time as they threaten to bubble to the surface with an ugly sob. Sadness, anger, happiness – you have no idea how to feel after everything’s finally been revealed. A part of you is thankful for your brother and the way he wanted to save you from another heartbreak but the other one, is upset he didn’t tell you sooner. If only he talked to you back then and let you know the way things were, maybe everything going forward would have ended up in a completely different way.

Maybe the reality you live in now, would only have been a bad dream, something you didn’t think twice about.

Maybe – wait a damn second.

Something other than the urge to cry into your brother’s arms hits you harder, and you can’t help but frown, brows furrowing. “I never told you about what happened with Felix. Why do you know about that?”

His doe eyes widen once he realises what he’s said, slowly raising a hand to cover his mouth in shock before turning away from you altogether. Minho’s done it now, letting such a big secret slip out carelessly. Jisung was going to kill him, no doubt.

“So, um,” He starts, still not facing you for safety reasons. “Jisung…told me?”

“What?!” You blurt out. “I begged him not to tell you! What the hell?”

Back then, when Jisung came to pick you up from school instead of Minho and you cried in his arms for hours on end, babbling on about missing your best friend and whatnot, you made Jisung promise he wouldn’t tell a soul. Especially to your overprotective brother who had no problem beating kids with a stick if they as much as looked at you in a funny way.

It was your moment of vulnerability where nothing made sense anymore, how could Jisung just betray you like this?

Every time you find out a piece of information about him that puts him back into your good graces, another one has to follow that paints him like the biggest asshole.

Turning to you, Minho shakes his head. “You were crying in his car, Y/n. He only told me after I promised I wasn’t going to bring it up to you in any way. He was worried and wanted to know if I had any idea what was going on between you and Felix.”

Groaning, you bury your face in one of the many decorative pillows around and let your head fall back against the couch. “You both are fucking insufferable and I’m tired of you.”

You feel him get closer, but the one that coaxes you out of hiding is the furball that senses your distress and jumps into your lap, pushing his little head into your open palm. When you look down, Dori meows cutely and you melt.

“That’s when you fell for him, right?” Minho asks hesitantly, visibly curious about your lingering feelings for his best friend. “When he comforted you in his car?”

Thanks to Dori’s presence, you’re willing to push your previous conversation aside for the time being. Jisung is going to get in trouble for spilling soon enough, even though the care he held for you back then is rather touching.

“No, that’s when I became obsessed with him.”

He grimaces and you can’t help but laugh, petting the feline in your lap lovingly as the other two join and surround Minho.

“Jisung was my first kiss,” You continue, averting your gaze, “that’s when I fell for him, I guess.”

Confused, Minho shoots you a look that makes you think you grew another head or something. “No, he wasn’t. Felix was.”

Now you’re the confused one, brows furrowing as you begin glaring at his audacity. “It was MY first kiss! What makes you think you know better than me who had his tongue down my throat?!”

Miho actually gags at the image, your words alone being enough to make him sick. Soonie and Doongie try to comfort him to the best of their abilities but it’s no use, the disgusted look on his face not showing any signs of fading. He at least has the decency to look away to not offend you.

“When did that even happen?” He manages to let out after several moments, still a bit uncomfortable.

“Um,” you trail off, pretending to think about it like the memory wasn’t actually locked away in a special chamber of your heart. “In my second year of high school, a few months after Felix started ignoring me for his girlfriend.”

Then it hits you both at the same time. That’s when Minho came up with the promise, the dammed pact that ruined your every chance at true love. Your brother wasn’t the first one that broke your promise, you were! A month after you both made it too! Oh my god –

“You…” Minho’s mouth falls open slightly, looking at you in shock as he can’t believe the epiphany he just had. Not like he can’t, he doesn’t want to believe it. His sister and his best friend, making out right after he made sure to drill the importance of staying away from each other in their thick heads? There was no way. No way in hell.

The laugh you let out is awkward, and uncomfortable, as you begin putting distance between yourself and your brother who looks like he just found out aliens were real.

He’s looking straight into your eyes now, all disgust and playfulness gone as he stares into your soul, unveiling all of your hidden secrets like it’s the easiest thing in the world. There’s a brief pause when neither of you says anything before suddenly, Minho lounges forward and you shriek, kicking your feet and scaring the cats away. As expected, it's no use because your brother gets you in a loose headlock in the blink of an eye, ruffling your hair playfully as you struggle to get free, giggling.

“And you had the audacity to cause a scene a few weeks ago when you kissed my best friend and broke our promise the same month we made it! You fucking menace!”

After weeks of silent treatment and nasty looks, you and your brother are finally laughing together and having fun, making everything right in the world again. At some point, Minho can barely breathe as you begin tickling him before sneaking a pillow in your grasp to smack him right in the face. He deserves it after gossiping with Jisung about your teenage drama like your life was a damn trashy tv show.

When things finally calm down, you’re both on the floor surrounded by pillows and still fighting the random fits of giggles.

“Min.” He hums in response, now busy petting one of the cats. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize I had broken our promise back then. It completely slipped my mind, both during and after the kiss.”

Complaining under his breath, in his playful manner, Minho shakes his head and looks at you next to him. “Since we’re back to apologising, please forgive me for causing you all this pain throughout the years.”

“Nonsense.” You quickly dismiss his apology, nudging his shoulder. “You were just trying to protect me, like you’ve always done. I see that now.”

“I tried to protect you without realizing I was the one actually causing you harm.” He sighs, still down about the whole thing.

Without another word, you just reach over and pull his body into a tight hug, like he usually does to you when upset. “We were both stupid, alright? Let’s just move past this.”

You still sense a brief hesitation in him as he returns the hug, patting your back comfortingly, a habit he’s kept since childhood that always lifted your spirits.

“Alright.” He pulls away, holding you by the shoulders while nodding firmly. “But you have to go and confess your undying love to Jisung right now!”

You cringe, crestfallen as you suddenly remember your shattered heart. “Yeah, about that. I’m never doing that so – “

“Y/n, what the actual fuck?”

・❥・・❥・・❥・

Days pass and everything slowly goes back to normal. Your relationship with your brother improves with every conversation since you decided to be more honest with each other, to bare your souls at every opportunity that calls for it. It’s hard at first, but seeing Minho try his best to make things right by you makes it all worth it. You and Felix also go back to normal, with lighter hearts now that the small bump on the road of your relationship was crossed and left behind.

Han Jisung doesn’t reach out once during the week, nor do you run into him again. It’s like he somehow disappears off the face of the earth, locking himself away in his comfortable bubble and not granting anyone access.

You don’t see nor hear from him but neither do the others. Except for your brother, who first mentions him almost a week after that dammed party, just to tell you Jisung cancelled their weekly hang-out session. It’s strange and completely out of the blue and after two weeks pass, even the proof of the love he left on your neck is pretty much healed, now only being a fleeting memory.

Just like the time you spent at the arcade when he managed to steal your heart completely. Looking at your homescreen now, that still displays a picture of you two from that time, hurts like a small dagger twisting itself into the place your heart once was. It’s really not fair how Jisung gets to have two hearts while you’re left struggling to keep going without yours. What a selfish, selfish man.

However, all of that sadness suddenly turns into anger when halfway through the third week, Jisung puffs back into existence. And where else other than at another party, having the time of his life without a care in the world about the people he’s hurt? You, about the fact that he hurt you.

Minho tries to keep you away from it, as always, keeping the pictures and videos of his best friend going wild way out of reach for the sake of your happiness.

But, as expected, at some point you just have enough.

“Can you drive me to Jisung’s?” The request comes out of the blue, on a random thursday afternoon, giving Minho no time to hide his obvious surprise and questioning gaze. Without a word, you tug the necklace that once belonged to Jisung out of your shirt to present to your brother, hoping he gets the hint and does as you asked without complaint.

Though there isn’t anything to end here, no relationship whatsoever, you still want to see him and get some things off your chest. Returning everything you have that belongs to him (which isn’t much) is going to be the final step for this chapter to close. This long chapter you’ve been writing since high school, with Jisung as the main character in the story called ‘you’, will finally come to an end. A bittersweet one you’ll cry yourself to sleep over for weeks to come, but at least, you’ll be free.

If only it was that easy, to free yourself from the love you carry for him.

What once started as a beautiful and hopeful story about searching for love quickly turned into a tragedy. In your eyes, at least. You were sure Jisung wasn’t even on the same page as you, let alone anywhere close to the ending. Despite being such an amazing lyricist, he’s never bothered to help you write your story.

Your brother is silent, chewing on his bottom lip nervously as he realizes what you want to do.

“You can say no.” You shrug, not looking at him. “If you don’t drive me there, I’ll ask Felix. I’m not dropping this until I get to his house.”

Reluctantly, Minho agrees and you drive there that same day.

Usually, being back in the neighbourhood you grew up in would have you giddy with excitement, happy to be back. But now, as you get out of the car in front of Jisung's parents’ house, that’s only a street away from yours, you’re anything but that.

You haven’t been here in years, unlike your brother who basically sees this place as his second home so to say you’re nervous would be an understatement. Memories come rushing back from years ago, all happy and laughter-inducing, just like Jisung used to be. Hilarious and bright was the boy you fell for back then, just like no other.

The Jisung nowadays was just a shadow of his former self. Maybe that’s why your story was coming to an end – the main character got switched out with another mid-way through.

“Call me when you’re done.” Minho honks, opening the window so you can hear him shout after scaring you half to death with the stupid car horn. “We’ll go and get ice cream after, okay?”

Ah, yes, ice cream. The remedy for every broken heart. Your brother knows you a little too well.

Once you nod, he’s off, seemingly not wanting to witness your and his best friend’s relationship go down the drain. A relationship he only started to support weeks ago, mind you.

After five minutes of internal pep talk, you stroll towards his front door with purpose, ignoring the emotions that threaten to overwhelm you at the familiar action. You, here, ringing this doorbell suddenly made you feel ten again. It was weird.

Your pulse picks up as footsteps from inside get louder and louder, approaching the door leisurely. Jisung was there, on the other side, and you were finally going to see him after he abandoned you that night. On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t even be here, maybe it was all a mistake –

But as you’re thinking this, the door swings open and you almost collapse right there and then.

Because the person standing in front of you isn’t Jisung. But a girl, a beautiful one at that. One that looks exactly like his type, smiling brightly like she owns the place.

“Hello.” Her voice is soft and gentle and it almost brings tears to your eyes. “Can I help you?”

Can she? Yes, she can help you by closing the door again and allowing you to run away and skip making an absolute fool of yourself.

Why did you think the ‘most passed around man of the year’ wouldn’t have someone over? How could you be this stupid time and time again? You deluded yourself into thinking he actually had some sort of feelings for you and forgot all about his track record and the people he still fucked when you weren’t around.

After every show, every performance, every party. You were a clown, and now you’re paying the price for your stupidity. Tragic, really. Why is there suddenly circus music playing?

“I – um…” On top of being a clown, now you can’t even speak proper English. Way to go, Y/n, embarrass yourself in front of Jisung’s beautiful hookup some more, she’s surely not enjoying this.

Her smile doesn’t flinch an inch but her eyes soften, most likely taking pity on you. “Are you okay?” Nope, not at all. But before you can let out another embarrassing sound as an answer, one that serves to mask the sound of your heart breaking into hundreds of teeny tiny pieces, something like recognition flashes before her big eyes. “Oh! I’m so sorry! Are you here to see Jisung?”

You have to do everything in your power to not collapse at the way his name leaves her pink and glossy lips, so softly and elegant it almost makes you feel bad she’s just a hookup.

“God, I’m an idiot.” She shakes her head, slapping her forehead. “Of course, you are! This is his house, after all, please come in!”

Surprise and confusion hit you all at once so, instead of taking her up on her offer, you step back, trying to wrap your head around whatever the fuck was happening. Why was Jisung’s fuck buddy inviting you inside, acting like she owned the place? What the hell is happening?

Thankfully, another voice makes itself known and interrupts the awkward moment before you can burst into tears right on this front porch.

“Y/n? Is that you?”

Looking up, past the girl is an all too familiar face you haven’t seen in ages, one that looks so similar to the man you love. He smiles, sweetly, and you recognize him immediately.

“Jihun?”

On the count of two breaths, he has your body pulled into a tight hug, basically dragging you inside with him, past the random girl who managed to step on your poor heart with a single sentence. Jihun, Jisung’s older brother that moved away years ago hugs you like you’re his own little sister, all warm and friendly and just…comforting. It’s refreshing, and you can’t stop yourself from returning the embrace and smiling from ear to ear, happy to be reunited after so long.

The last time you saw him, Jihun was fresh out of high school, the proud owner of a diploma that took him far away from home, helping him land a spot at one of the best universities in the country. It’s been almost ten years since then and the man in front of you was already unrecognizable, no longer the boy you met as a child.

The whole ordeal makes you emotional, causing you to reflect and look back on the last ten years of your life. What you’ve been doing, what you managed to accomplish and whatnot. Oh, what you wouldn’t give to be able to turn back time, just for ten minutes, to bask in that comforting and stress-free life again.

“How have you been, kiddo?” Is the first thing he asks once he sets you back down, beaming. “I feel like I see Minho all the time but you’re just never here when I visit, little Lee.”

Oh, yes. That nickname will never die apparently.

You open your mouth to reply but without meaning to, he cuts you off, hands on your shoulder. “You’ve grown up so well!”

An airy laugh makes your left eye twitch from behind you as the unknown girl approaches. “Babe, please let the girl talk. You’ve been babbling non-stop for the past five minutes.”

Wait…babe?

Babe?! Jihun was her babe?

Noticing your wide eyes, Jihun’s smile grows even bigger than you thought was possible as he reaches for the woman’s hand to plant a kiss on the smooth skin.

“Y/n, this is my fiancé, Yuri! We came to visit my parents but they forgot to tell their other son they’ll be out of the country at this time.” then he turns to her and you swear his pupils shapeshift into two hearts. “Sorry, I got distracted, love.”

Yuri shakes her head, seemingly used to his excitement before standing on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek. “It’s fine, baby.” Then, she turns to you, still smiling. “Nice to meet you, Y/n.”

You nod, visibly calmer as everything finally makes sense in your head. “Nice to meet you too!” Unfortunately, that’s still all you manage to let out, a bit shaken up by the roller-coaster of emotions you went through in the past 5 minutes.

“I’m guessing you’re here to see my precious little brother, huh?” Jihun’s smile turns playful as he wiggles his eyebrows and the similarities between him and Jisung have never been stronger.

Speaking of the wolf, you barely manage to nod before said little brother suddenly appears at the end of the stairs, all fluffy hair and round, thin-rimmed golden glasses. He’s dressed casually, in a beige sweatshirt and sweatpants, good for laying around but not good for your sanity as the mere sight of him still manages to make you nervous.

Disbelief can be read on his puffy face, lips pursuing in a slight pout as he looks between you and his brother, waiting for an explanation. Other than that, your presence in his house doesn’t seem to affect him too greatly.

“What’s this?” He finally lets out, rolling his eyes when Jihun greets him loudly like they haven’t seen each other in a while. His voice is deeper than usual, presumably sleepy and you almost feel bad for disturbing his rest. Almost.

“Y/n came to see you!” Jihun blurts out, wrapping an arm around Yuri’s shoulders to pull her closer.

His curious gaze meets yours and you feel your breath hitch in your throat, like a deer caught in headlights under his piercing eyes. Every single fiber of your being is telling you to run away, forget about what you wanted to do and just go home, closing the chapter of Han Jisung without any type of closure. However, the dormant anger that’s still bubbling in your veins at the behaviour he displayed for the past month, dictates otherwise.

So, your own gaze narrows as you manage to shake off all the nerves and doubts lingering on the surface. “We need to talk.”

Not being able to control his reaction, Jihun gasps, surprised by the animosity that floats in the air between you two. Jisung on the other hand, remains as calm as ever, nonchalantly shoving his hands in his pockets. “About?”

Your silence is louder than any spoken reason as you continue to glare at the blonde, not budging until he gives in. But Jisung is just as stubborn, meeting your challenging gaze head-on, firmly convinced there’s nothing you two need to talk about. Not anymore.

To the side and well out of the loop, Jihun and Yuri can’t help but snicker under their breaths, finding your glaring match positively adorable. Not like they’ll admit it out loud though.

After a few tense moments, the older brother butts it. “You should listen to her, Jisung.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He snaps, his glare and hidden anger finding another victim which takes you by complete surprise. If he shares your sentiment, Jihun doesn’t let it show because his whole demeanour changes instantly and his kind eyes and smile are replaced by an icy glare, one that causes Jisung to look away and sigh in a blink of an eye.

The exchange gives you whiplash but it seems it’s what Jisung needed to give in and turn to you, tugging the ends of his honey blonde locks in an obvious show of uncertainty. He didn’t want to do this – talk to you – it’s obvious by his tense body language alone.

“Come on.” He mumbles in your direction, not even waiting for a reaction before turning around and making his way up the stairs, two at a time. It hurts but your anger helps you push forward, following him before giving the other two, especially Jihun, a grateful smile to which they reply warmly.

Jisung’s room is at the end of a long hallway and you hesitate before stepping in, quickly dawning on you it is going to be the first time you see his safe space, his sanctuary. Seeing someone’s room was on another level of intimacy, especially since this is the place he grew up in, a level he only seemed to have reached with your brother and his many hookups.

When you do enter, he signals for you to close the door as he makes himself comfortable on the couch that’s pushed at the other end of the room.

You’re left in awe at the layout that’s two times bigger than your own room back at your parents’ house, split into two. On one side, Jisung has a big, double bed, neatly made, along with a dresser and two end tables, all dark wood. But on the other side, facing the huge windows that are currently engulfing the whole room in a warm light, is a makeshift studio with all the necessary equipment. Laptop, keyboard and guitar are all very impressive but what steals your attention is the adjustable mic surrounded by soundproof foam and all the music sheets scattered everywhere, filled with his recognizable handwriting. The couch at the far end of the room, on his little studio’s side, looks exactly like the one from Changbin’s place, just sporting black leather instead of brown.

Somehow, the lived in space makes you feel like you’re intruding. But, by his relaxed stance, splayed on the couch, Jisung doesn’t feel the same. He looks almost comfortable, as comfortable as he can be with all the tension floating around and threatening to suffocate you both.

You being in his room isn’t a big deal to him, like you’ve been here numerous times already. What is, however, is the conversation he’s dreading to have with you.

“So,” he sighs, tired, the bags under his eyes visible even through the lenses, “what did you want to talk about?”

There’s no sign of the usual fondness in his voice, no warmth or anything of the sort and it suddenly makes you feel like you’re two strangers, forced to interact for a uni project.

Han Jisung, for all the years you’ve known him, has never spoken to you like this. A pet name, a joke or a blinding smile was always present when you interacted, no matter how down or out of it he was. It made you feel cared for, special even. Now it just felt like the past you shared was suddenly washed away like the writing on a blackboard.

Pulling yourself together enough to look at him, you reach into one pocket and fish out the necklace he gave you, his eyes widening briefly at the sight. Almost like someone hit him right in the stomach.

“I came to return this to you.” You shrug, delicately placing the jewellery on the table.

He shakes his head before you can even finish the sentence, sitting straighter, and that’s when you notice he’s still wearing your ring, still on the finger you placed it. Even more so, it’s the only ring he’s wearing.

“I don’t want it.” He scoffs. “I gave it to you, so keep it.”

“Well, I don’t want it either.” You frown, crossing your arms over your chest at his stubbornness. “It’s your necklace, take it.”

“No.”

Is all he says and you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s expecting you to drop it, take the necklace back and leave. Too bad you’re done pleasing him.

Letting out a big sigh, you drop your arms. “Don’t be difficult for no reason, Jisung.”

“Me?” He gives you an incredulous look. “How about you stop being difficult and actually tell me why you’re here?”

Okay, you didn’t take into account the possibility of him seeing right through you and your silly, made-up reason. Abandon ship, everybody out!

You don’t respond and for a moment, you’re left staring each other down like you’re lifelong enemies. Throughout the years, you and Jisung have never disagreed on anything so the fact that you’re arguing right now, on the verge of an actual fight, must be as strange for him as it’s for you.

A lover’s quarrel, like Jihun whispered when you were making your way up the stairs. Only, you’re not even lovers, just quarreling for no reason at all.

“Fine.” You give in, leaning against the desk as you glare him down. “You’ve been ignoring me since Changbin’s party. Why?”

Jisung is so taken aback by your bluntness that he’s left scrambling for an answer, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He’s not used to being confronted like this, you can tell. His groupies and hookups would never because they were aware that as soon as they opened their mouths to even try, they’d be dropped faster than an elective class.

Clearing his throat, he manages to pull himself together to reply. “I helped you get back at Minho. What more do you want from me?”

The way he says it, with such indifference hits you like a slap in the face. “Wait, are you fucking serious?”

You move away from the desk, towards him, anger, hurt and disappointment flashing behind your wild eyes. Something he seems to notice by the way he curls into himself, almost like he wants to become one with the couch.

“So, everything that happened between us means absolutely nothing to you?”

Without meaning to, your voice cracks at the end and that’s when he stands up as well, the look in his eyes much different than the tone of his voice. Softer, more mellow.

“To me?!” Jisung takes a step forward, which only prompts you to take one back, increasing the distance. Being too close to him was always dangerous territory – you could never think straight when he was within arm’s reach. “You’re the one that used me to make Minho mad! Everything you claim happened between us was done with upsetting him in mind.”

Then, much softer than he’s been today, eyes boring right into yours with a familiar intensity, he adds. “Don’t suddenly act like you have feelings for me.”

That’s the moment your heart stops, right in his unknowing hands. It feels like he suddenly squeezed and blocked all the valves from pumping the blood correctly, stealing your heartbeat in the process. You’re left staring at him, mouth part and with tears welling up in your eyes but for the first time in your life, Jisung doesn’t rush to comfort you like he always does.

You’ve cried in front of him before and his first instinct was to reach out and bury your face in his sturdy chest, letting you soak his shirt without a care in the world. Now, he just looks away, jaw clenched in mild discomfort and you have no idea what to do.

Tearing your wavering gaze away from him to give your poor heart a break, you mumble. “You’re horrible, Han Jisung.”

He snorts, without any hint of amusement, stepping closer and getting a hold of your chin to gently turn your face towards his. “Tell me something I don’t know, Y/n.”

Looking into his eyes, you search the beautiful brown void for a glimpse of the fondness he usually displayed in front of you. Something that can tell you what he’s actually feeling, anything. But there’s nothing, just an unexplainable sadness that tears you apart piece by piece, slowly and painfully.

But not painful enough to silence you. “If either one of us is acting right now, that’s you.”

His eyes narrow, but he doesn’t push you away. “Don’t speak like you know me, Y/n. You have no idea how well I can actually act.”

“Sure do.” You shrug, boldly inching closer to his face. “You’ve been acting like you gave a fuck about me for a month straight. That takes serious talent.”

Jisung smirks, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he steps back, letting go of you. “Well, the play is officially over. There’s no reason for you to be here any longer so, feel free to leave.”

And suddenly, all of your subdued anger is back. “Why are you being like this?” You throw your hands up, carefully studying his every reaction. “Aren’t you tired of always hiding yourself behind countless masks and personas? Tired of never saying what you think?”

Judging by the deep sigh he lets out, Jisung is in fact tired. If it’s of you or the situation at hand, you don’t know, but he looks exhausted, tugging at the ends of his hair while throwing his glasses aside, on the couch.

“Fine, you want to know what I think?” He spreads his arms out, almost like inviting you in, eyes as sharp as ever while his voice raises in volume slightly. “I hate that all I was to you was a fucking way to upset Minho! I hate how you could bring yourself to use me like I meant nothing!”

By now, you’re also growing tired and more irritable, reaching to harshly rub at your eyes before getting closer, close enough to feel his body heat and hear his ragged breath. “Will you stop saying that? I didn’t use you, Jisung!”

“Then what the fuck do you call what we’ve been doing, Y/n?” His voice is loud, but he doesn’t cross the line into yelling territory. He does everything in his power to remain composed, to respect you to some extent. You can tell by this back-and-forth that neither of you is a fan of arguing and that the whole ordeal is stressing you out greatly.

But if that’s the only way you can get your point across to Jisung, it had to be done.

“I don’t know!” You exclaim just as loud, restless. “I came to you because Minho wronged me and I knew you would have my back! Never once in my life did I want to hurt you!”

Silence follows your outburst and you’re both left staring at each other, analysing every breath, twitch or movement. His gaze soon tears away from you, eyes downcast as he moves his weight from one foot to the other, mumbling. “Technically, we wronged Minho first when we kissed back then.”

You nod, recalling the conversation you’ve had with your brother a week ago. “Right. Should I also accuse you of using me back when you were thinking about another girl while kissing me?”

That’s low, you know it is, a hit below the belt that has Jisung’s eyes widening and snapping to yours in a mere second. He can’t seem to answer for a moment, and you suddenly feel horrible for reminding him of the heartbreak he went through back then, realising you went a bit too far with your pettiness this time around.

But Jisung shakes it off like it didn’t even happen, face settling into another sturdy mask like you didn’t just shatter the previous one.

When he looks at you now, a shiver runs down your spine as he towers over you, quickly bouncing back from the biting remark. “Why? Are you going to throw a tantrum in a fit of jealousy? Act like a spoiled brat again?”

Something in the way he says that last part of the sentence makes your knees go weak, whole atmosphere changing along with the suffocating tension that is now almost delicious. He’s deflecting again, you know it, but you can’t bring yourself to go back or hold it against him, not when he gave you the perfect opportunity to finally tell him how you feel. To finally let to light these feelings you’ve nurtured for him for years.

You aren’t expecting him to return any of it, though. That’s not why you came here, either. You just want to finally get them off your chest, pass all of this unrequited love to him in hopes that your body and mind will feel just a little bit lighter.

So, in a bold display of confidence, you ignore your shaking hands and remaining anger and step closer until you’re chest to chest, looking up into his eyes with sincerity. “Since I seem to love you, I actually might.”

Jisung’s whole bravado collapses instantly, mouth parting while his eyebrows shoot up in complete surprise, not believing his ears. That was the last thing he was expecting to come out of your mouth, you can tell because you’re just as surprised at the ease with which the words tumbled out.

Taking a whole step back, Jisung’s hands find your shoulders as he leans down to rest his forehead against yours, not allowing you to break eye contact even for a second.

“Say that again.” The heart you’ve sought after for so long is pounding in his chest in the same tune as yours, almost like they were having a whole separate conversation. Confessing their love again and again with only the sweetest words, longing for the day they’ll finally be together through you and him.

Your heart felt whole again when you were with him, returning to its rightful place and bringing life back into your almost dormant body.

The words get stuck in your throat and you suddenly wish he could read your mind, hear for himself the extent of your feelings because, at this point, you’re sure love is too trivial of a word to accurately describe what you feel when he’s around. What you’ve always felt for him.

“I…” His hands move up to cup both of your cheeks tenderly and you melt, forgetting every thought you’ve ever had that is not related to Han Jisung. “I’m in love with you, Jisung. Truly.”

He sighs and bows his head, the hot air hitting your lips and making goosebumps appear all over your body. When he speaks, his words come out barely above a whisper, a stark contrast to the way he was speaking ten minutes ago.

“Don’t…play with me, Y/n. I don’t think my heart will be able to take it.”

You shake your head, every single muscle in your body shivering against him but not because of the cold – with anticipation. There it was, the moment you’ve dreamt about years upon years. You better not mess it up now; don’t mess up your chance at finally being able to move on.

“I could never play about something like that.” You exhale, coaxing his head up with your own hand before letting it rest against the soft cheek. “I’ve had feelings for you since high school but I’ve only realized how strong they are this past month.”

Jisung stares at you with stars in his eyes, almost like every word that left past your lips was enthralling him, putting him under a strong spell neither of you could fathom.

“I’ve never been in love with anyone so I have nothing to compare it to but, I’m pretty sure what I feel towards you is love. Raw and authentic from the bottom of my selfish heart.” You finish, never once breaking eye contact in the hopes that the sincerity behind your words will reach him ultimately. And it does, because his breath hitches in his heart-shaped throat and his hands move to bring you even closer, hugging you to his chest in a way he’s only done a handful of times which causes the both of you to melt against each other like two burning candles.

When you were together, you always seemed to burst into flames, burning everyone and everything around beside him. Because he was welcomed among those flames with open arms and a fireproof suit he never wanted to put on. He instead chose to burn alongside you, not scared of the pain or all the inevitable damage the fire caused.

Poetic, or stupid? Maybe both, but Jisung didn’t care in the slightest when it came to you.

He inhales deeply, never wanting to forget any detail of this moment, including your calming scent, and you can feel the movement of his chest against yours, can feel everything.

“You love me?” The question comes out quietly like he can barely believe it himself, his hold on you loosening just in case you wanted to step away. “Me?”

He emphasizes the word ‘me’ like you weren’t the only people in the room, disbelief being written all over his pretty face. Your heart is racing at miles per hour by this point but you push through the nerves, nodding without any hesitation.

“Who else but you, Jisung?” You don’t think he can be even more surprised than he already was but Jisung proves you wrong when he almost chokes on his own saliva, turning his head to the side in embarrassment. The tips of his ears are quickly turning red, the colour travelling all the way down to his neck, most likely kissing his covered collarbones too. It’s a very endearing side of him you’ve never had the pleasure of seeing before, adorable even, that settles the wild butterflies in your stomach enough to give you the chance to breathe.

Then, without a word, he lets go of you and takes several steps back and that’s when panic sets in.

“I’m sorry!” is the first thing you blurt out, visibly shaken up. “I didn’t mean to come on too strongly! I just needed to get this off my chest, you don’t even have to say anything, I understand – “

You don’t get the chance to finish your monologue because the next moment, Jisung surprises you by closing the distance and gently cupping your face to plant the sweetest kiss on your lips, one that makes your knees actually wobble. Your lips dance with each other slowly, in a passionate waltz worthy of a standing ovation, so sweet and innocent it makes your head spin and your hands move to grab at his sweatshirt for support.

You’re so taken aback by the gesture that it barely registers in your head when he pulls away, chasing after him with your eyes still closed and basking in the sweet afterglow of his kiss. Chuckles under his breath make them flutter open and you’re greeted by a faint smile, shy but the most genuine one he’s ever sported in your presence.

“I – “ You clear your throat, still a little dizzy but Jisung shakes his head and leans down to plant another kiss on your lips, soft and fleeting, succeeding in shutting you up for good.

Still in the middle of his room, the setting sun is now painting everything inside in the warmest yellow, the golden hour making Han Jisung look even more beautiful than usual. Breathtaking and oh so cuddly, one of your hands can’t help but move to push some of his smooth hair out of his face tenderly, warming up as he leans into the touch instantly.

All of the tension on his face is gone as he looks down at you with a smile, thumb caressing your cheekbone. “Did you think I was going to reject you?”

You hesitate for a moment before nodding, your hands dropping by your side as Jisung’s only response is a hearty laugh, feeling a bit embarrassed. Just because he didn’t reject you until now, that didn’t mean it wasn’t coming. For him, it might’ve been funny but you’ve kept all of those feelings locked away for so long, hiding them from everyone that disapproved that now you were almost afraid he was going to disapprove as well, not want them either.

“Sweetheart.” He whispers, pecking your forehead like it was the most natural thing in the world, the return of the pet name almost bringing tears to your eyes. “For all the years we’ve known each other, when have I ever been capable of saying no to you?”

The realization his words bring hits you out of nowhere, years of memories made with Jisung flashing before your eyes as your brain tries to sort through them all for such an instance. The search isn’t successful because like he said, that never happened. Jisung has never said no to you, no matter how silly, petty or downright stupid your requests were.

As you remember it all, and have countless epiphanies, the emotions overwhelm you so suddenly that you find yourself throwing your arms around his shoulder in seek of comfort, melting when he returns the embrace without a second thought. He’s so warm and so comfortable and you feel so safe – you can’t cry now!

Then, the unexpected happens. “I love you too, baby.”

Your eyes almost pop out of their sockets as his confession causes you to pull away so fast, but not far, to look at him, observe the look on his face to make sure he isn’t playing a stupid prank. Jisung…loves you back? What?! Never in a million years did you think he’d return your feelings, with such ease too. He didn’t leave your flowers out in the cold – he picked each and every one of them and kept them safe until you got the chance to meet in person.

He frowns at the disbelief on your face, and your distance, so he decides to take matters into his own hands and fix it all. Without a word, he leans down and connects your lips again, only this time, the kiss is not as soft and careful.

Jisung kisses you like he means it, like he wants to pour all of his love right into your mouth until you drown in it and finally believe its authenticity. It all becomes desperate pretty quickly as you’re flush against him, one hand cupping his face as the other tugs at the ends of his hair while his arms move everywhere on your body, restless. He’s gripping your hips, licking into your mouth and you can’t help but moan into the wet kiss, granting him all the access he could ever want.

His sounds join yours when your nails graze his undercut, moving upwards to tug at the bleached hair as he leaves your mouth to give some attention to your neck too. Kissing the side of your throat, he leaves a trail of your combined saliva along the expanse of it with every bruise he sucks on your neck, the slight pain almost euphoric. It’s hot – you feel overheated and strangely jealous as he basically makes out with your neck instead of you.

“You better put the necklace back on when I’m done…” He mumbles close to your ear, kissing your cheek before guiding you back to his lips with two fingers on your chin, sighing in pleasure at the contact.

Even though he’s basically tongue fucking you right now, the hesitation with which he moves is obvious as his hands don’t wander anywhere they weren’t allowed to, don’t grope or caress, nor move under your top or bra. It is a bit disappointing but you’re aware of the conversation that still needed to take place, so, you understand.

Jisung respects you too much to take things further before confessing properly.

“Put it on me yourself.” You murmur with a smile that only grows when you pull away the slightest bit and he whines, desperately bringing you back to continue kissing your already swollen lips.

Gripping at his sweatshirt, Jisung takes it off in one swift motion before going back to kissing, goosebumps visible on his toned arms. This continues on for a few moments more until he breaks the kiss for good, leaving you both breathless, chest heaving up and down as the string of saliva that connected your mouths falls apart.

He’s breathing heavily as he guides you both to the couch, the frantic rhythm of his heart resembling the beat of one of his many songs. Facing each other, Jisung pulls you closer by the waist until your legs are thrown over his thighs and you’re sharing the same breath again, not being able to function while you’re sitting so far away.

Clearing his throat, you draw shapes on his chest through the white t-shirt he’s wearing, equally as lovesick.

“I think a part of me has always loved you, even if it wasn’t romantic from the get-go.”

Your heart grows at the words, arms moving around his neck again as your heart joins him in making a new song. He’s massaging your thighs in the most innocent way, eyes darting all over the place while trying to calm down and finally convey his feelings properly. Jisung is a perfectionist, he has to do this right.

Even if he’s trying to have a serious conversation, he can’t stop himself from planting another kiss on your cheek, which causes you to smile brightly and return the gesture.

“We should really talk about it, about our feelings.” You nod and he smiles, the setting sun behind him creating a halo around his head. Which would normally be hilarious to you since Jisung is far from being an angel. He’s lucky he didn’t catch anything yet –

“About everything, really.” He continues on, breathing now even. “Yeah, baby? Let’s talk about those feelings of ours and see where we want to go from here.”

And you nod, relieved and happier than ever because finally, you can talk about it. Finally, you can let it all out without feeling like you’re doing something wrong.

Finally, someone is willing to listen to you without judgment or disappointment. Without shaking their heads or lectures like you were a convicted criminal or something of the sort.

Finally, you can love Jisung openly, without having all the odds against you. And he…can love you back! Oh my god, Jisung loves you, too!

Right in your stupid face, Minho!

・❥・・❥・・❥・

♡. taglist: @liknws @scarletbedlam @xhazmania @skzpvol @slut4colinbridgerton @sealovesbts @stickycrusadecollective @byullielle @princelingperfect @realrintaro @ilychee08 @mysweethannie @jetblackbelle @hanjisunginc @whitney190 @emyladia @hanschimpmunk @briqnne @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lvrgrl-xo @adestayskz @imsiriuslyreal @dprkbyn @hyunsungbased @dandycharmer @thepeopleintheback @fashominnie @ch4nniebang @emikisses @skzhoes @drhsthl @baribaaari @highlydestiny @starsandrqindrops @queerpumpkinnn @lilmarkieepooh

[lilmoony]

It's a bad idea, right? (03)

*ೃ༄ pairing: han jisung x fem!reader.

*ೃ༄ genre: college!au, brother's best friend & 3racha Jisung (yes he is his own genre lol), y/n is Minho's slightly younger sister, childhood friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, drama, my attempt at humor.

*ೃ༄ word count: 10k.

*ೃ༄ summary: The Lee siblings' rule was simple: don’t flirt, kiss, sleep, or even dare to think about dating the other sibling’s friends. Pretty straightforward stuff, right? No matter how ridiculous that rule sounds now, both of you respected it religiously for years, being one of the main reasons your relationship remained as strong as it did for so long. But, what happens when your brother decides to break it on a random Friday night, at a frat party, with one of your closest friends? You decide to take revenge, of course. And what better way to do it than with the help of his precious best friend, Han Jisung, whom you’ve been crushing on since forever?

*ೃ༄ warnings: cursing, suggestive themes (these two are very horny for each other), jealousy, sexual tension, mentions of drinking and smoking, marking? (mentioned very briefly), they're partying in this chapter and its pretty wild.

♡. part 01 .♡ , ♡. part 02 .♡

♡. a/n: a long awaited scene happens in this chapter :) enjoy!! please let me know your thoughts about this part, i love reading them all <3

Walking down memory lane, you don’t think you’ve ever been in love. Sure, you love your friends and family but the concept of romantic love is a completely foreign one. Being loved by another, body and soul, with all of your flaws and insecurities has always been something you longed for, just like everybody else.

None of your relationships made you feel like that. Truly accepted and loved so ultimately, you started seeing dating as a waste of time.

At some point, you thought that ‘love’ had finally blessed you with its presence, taking pity on you. Back in high school, when you were barely a teen was the first time the butterflies everyone talks about appeared in your life. They came and went but their wings always flapped wildly around one person only.

Your best friend, Felix.

The thought of being in love with your partner in crime, with Felix who was always so kind and smiled so brightly had your heart doing summersaults every time he as much as glanced in your particular direction. It was exciting but more importantly, a dream come true for a hopeless romantic such as yourself. Felix was the perfect person to name as your ‘first love’.

That’s why, to you, it was a match made in heaven. Who wouldn’t want to grow and flourish alongside their best friend, giving them your first everything and letting love develop naturally over time, strengthening your bond?

But then, as time passed and he chose someone else as his first love, all of your dreams shattered. It wasn’t his fault either, even though that’s what you tried to make yourself believe just to feel better as you cried. You just took too long – too long to realize what you were feeling, too long to make a move and let him know of your feelings. So, ultimately, someone else got there first.

Slow and steady usually wins the race but in this case, it was the opposite. Not only did you lose the race, but you also lost your chance at love.

Then even more time passed, and both of you got with several different people – never the other. You went on dates, kissed a bunch of people and before you knew it, those feelings you held for your best friend just faded away. At first, you thought it would be more tragic than it was, more painful as your love story went untold. But it wasn’t. It went away with the wind, quickly and without much fuss, just like a stray leaf.

That’s when you realized that maybe, just maybe, what you felt for the boy that could brighten up your every gloomy day wasn’t love. Not romantic, at least.

A crush, sure. But nothing as grand as a first love, the dormant butterflies and calm heart could attest to that.

And that epiphany hit you when Han Jisung first kissed you. The feelings the sweet and soft gesture awakened in you were all new, nothing you’ve ever felt before. Not with Felix or with anyone else after. It was like fireworks went off in your heart, exploding in a beautiful display of colours and intense emotions.

Back then, Jisung most likely kissed you out of pity but for you, it meant the world because that was the first time you felt something different. Something nobody has ever made you feel, a feeling you haven’t forgotten until now, as an adult.

It might sound silly to most (especially to your brother) so you kept it to yourself, the kiss being yours and Jisung’s little secret. A secret you thought he’d forgotten about until he boldly brought it up at the arcade, showing you exactly how affected he still was by it. Your heart almost jumped out of your chest then and there, elated by the fact that he still remembered a moment so special to you.

So that’s why, in the hopes of getting the answers you sought for so long, you have to keep pursuing this connection with him. No matter if Minho gets mad, Felix gets upset and stops talking to you or your parents disapprove. You have to find out if the feelings that overwhelm you every time he’s around are love or not.

If you’re in love with him or are just chasing an unobtainable fantasy.

Every time you think about him, there’s this little thought you’ve tried to silence for years lingering at the back of your mind. Has Jisung ever been in love? Has he ever gotten tongue tied in front of someone, palms sweating while his heart pounds in his chest? If so, did he nurture that love or leave it to whither for unknown reasons? Did he write songs upon songs about it? Daydreaming the hours away while he waited to be reunited with that love?

Those questions were eating away at your sanity, especially since you would never get any answers.

Jisung was lucky, for getting the opportunity to love someone with his whole being. But luckier was the person that got to be loved by him, in your eyes at least.

Because you might never get that opportunity.

・❥・・❥・・❥・

“Okay, so which one?”

You ask Jeongin, holding up two different dresses for him to choose from. Looking up from his phone, he inspects each one with great serosity before pointing to the one he likes more.

“The red one really brings out your eyes so let’s go with that.”

You smile, satisfied with his choice before throwing the other dress on the floor carelessly and walking into the connected bathroom to change. Leaving the door slightly ajar, Jeongin can talk comfortably from his seat at the end of your bed.

“I have to ask,” He begins, letting himself fall back on the bed with a contented sigh, “how come I’m the only one here?”

“What do you mean?”

The little red dress is easy to slip into so you’re glad that’s what Jeongin chose, happy it isn’t too uncomfortable or impractical. You’ll need all of your wits for tonight with everything that can happen at a party as crazy as this one, knowing Changbin will totally go overboard with the preparations.

“Where’s Felix? He always comes to help you get ready before any party.”

You stop in your tracks, finally realizing Felix’s absence. It wasn’t that deep; he just chose to go to the party with Hyunjin since they lived together but a part of you thought there was more to the matter at hand.

Shaking your head, you finally emerge from the bathroom while struggling with a pair of earrings. “With Hyunjin. They’re going together.”

By the look on his face, Jeongin shares your opinion on the whole thing, finding it strange. “You know, maybe the world is in fact ending.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes, moving on to secure the other earring. “Whatever. He’s been acting weird lately so him ditching me was expected.”

“Weird how?” He pushes himself up onto his elbows, scanning your outfit.

“Distant.”

That takes him by surprise, brows furrowing in confusion. “Why would Felix distance himself from you? He’s the clingiest person I know!”

You shrug, trying to mask how much the situation actually bothers you. “I don’t know, Jeongin. Maybe he just needs some boy time. Or maybe he’s finally grown tired of me. Who knows?”

Jeongin shakes his head as you walk back into the bathroom to put the finishing touches to your makeup, disagreeing completely.

“We’ve been connected at the hip for years, I knew it had to come to an end at some point.”

“Nonsense.” There’s some shuffling as he presumably stands up. “Felix loves you. There’s no way he wants to change your dynamic.”

Except that’s exactly what he’s been doing for the past few days. You know when your presence isn’t wanted so you’ve also kept your distance, letting him come to you when ready. Even so, there was no denying the emptiness his absence left behind.

But you don’t let Jeongin know that. There’s no point in ruining his mood as well.

Stepping out of the bathroom like nothing happened, you see him now standing in front of your mirror, fixing his hair. You clear your throat and his eyes shoot up, getting his full attention.

“So, how do I look?” You twirl, hands moving down to smooth the invisible creases of the red, sleeveless dress.

A big smile stretches across his face, dimples and all as he nods. “Beautiful.”

Your whole demeanor softens and you cross the room to pull him into a quick hug. “Thanks for getting ready with me, Innie.”

“You’re welcome.” His arms come around your middle and he squeezes once before letting go. You can’t help but think about how different this feels in comparison to Felix’s warm and drawn-out hugs, where he’d giggle while lifting your feet off the ground. “Besides, I couldn’t let you dress yourself and embarrass us, now, could I?”

And the moment is broken. With a huff and the slightest smile, you slap his shoulder and pull away, moving to throw a pillow at his head when he starts laughing. It falls to the ground and he wastes no time in picking it up and throwing it back at you, messing your freshly done hair. That’s when you start chasing him around the room, laughter bouncing off the walls even when you finally catch him and mess his hair in return, ruffling it good.

“Now that we’re party ready,” Jeongin teases as the atmosphere calms down and you both move to sit somewhere in the room and catch your breaths. This time, he chooses your desk chair and you’re the one sitting on the bed, putting on your shoes. “What’s your plan? I need to be filled in if I’m going to help you.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What do we need a plan for? We’re going out to have fun.”

He shakes his head, rolling his eyes in the process. “I’m talking about Jisung. I know you want Minho to catch you two sucking each other’s faces off but what happens after?”

Confusion makes itself clear on your features. “What do you mean?”

“When your little masterplan is done and over with, are you going to confess to him?”

And that’s when a bunch of emotions hit you at the same time, overwhelming all of your senses. Confess…to Jisung? This is something you’ve thought about often, fantasizing and daydreaming to your heart’s content. But this wasn’t a fantasy, it was real life where Jisung’s emotions weren’t marching to the beat of your own drum. The possibility of confessing to him for real has never crossed your mind since Minho basically forbade you to. Could you even do it? Would he even care to hear you out?

Nothing was holding you back now, no weight on your shoulders to keep you bound in the same place, screaming into the void. You were free to do whatever your heart desired.

You always were, but your morals tended to dictate your every move like you were some sort of puppet on a string.

“Y/n?”

His voice helps you snap out of it, and your eyes move to meet his, shoes all forgotten. “Should I?”

He visibly grimaces.

“Well – “

“Wait, what?” You blurt out, surprised. “Why did you make that face? You’ve always encouraged me about my stupid little crush!”

Jeongin isn’t fazed by your outburst but the look on his face shows he at least feels bad about causing it. Shaking his head, he pulls at the ends of his platinum blonde hair with a sigh, looking down.

“I mean, Jisung isn’t really prince charming.”

You really can’t believe your ears right now. “What the fuck are you saying, Jeongin?”

Then, he raises his head and looks at you with such seriousness that almost makes his boyish face unrecognizable. “That he wasn’t named ‘the most passed around man of the year’ for being a fucking gentleman, Y/n.”

Your mouth drops open at his words, jaw on the floor as you try to process whatever the fuck intrusive thought he let to the surface. Jisung was named what exactly?!

Not being able to find any appropriate answer, the only thing you can let out through your disbelief is a simple “Huh?!”

“He stole that title right from under Changbin’s nose.” Jeongin shakes his head, like he can’t believe Jisung’s audacity. “Now not only is he a manwhore, he’s a thief too. Changbin worked hard for that title, Y/n! It was his!”

There’s a moment of silence as your gazes find each other again, blinking like you just learnt to communicate without even speaking from Dori himself before you’re both bursting out into loud laughter. The tension dissipates and you’re back on the same page.

“There’s no way people call him that.” You managed to let out after calming down, already in higher spirits than before.

With the same look on his face, Jeongin shrugs, still grinning. “The fans sure do.”

There’s a pause as you wait for him to elaborate but he doesn’t, choosing to stand up and stretch after you’re both fully calm. Deciding to follow his lead, you quickly put your shoes on and grab your purse, putting the interrogation and your curiosity in the back seat for now.

After a quick inspection of your outfits, checking everything is in place, you’re both ready to leave but before you can get to it, your bedroom door opens and a dark head of hair pops in.

“Uh, hi.” Your brother says awkwardly, the door concealing most of his uncertainty as he pointedly ignores the glare you send his way. “The uber I ordered is here. Do you guys want to come with me since we’re going to the same place?”

You don’t respond, looking away from him defiantly but Jeongin has other plans as he grabs your wrist and begins pulling you along.

“Of course! Lead the way, Minho!”

Your protests fall on deaf ears because minutes later, you’re already in the backseat of the uber, right between Minho and Jeongin who seem to have become best friends overnight since they talk away the whole ride to Changbin’s place. Jeongin just lost his place as your favourite friend, freefalling to the bottom of the list right next to Felix. Seungmin was now your one and only. He would never treat you like this. Maybe…

The ten-minute ride passes in a blink of an eye and suddenly, you’re out of the car and shivering on your way to the front door, the mansion looking as huge as ever even in the distance. The music could be heard from down the street, where the uber left the three of you and the colourful laser lights coming from the backyard made the whole scene resemble an actual concert. From an outsider's perspective, it could look very intimidating but you knew that once inside, the atmosphere would be another. Changbin is nothing if not a great host, making sure everyone feels great in his house.

Despite the size of it all, his parties were an exclusive event – only people personally invited by him could get in. His reputation was on the line after all, he didn’t need strangers all up in his business to spill everything that was going on in his sanctuary on the internet.

3racha were known for loving to party but the public didn’t need to be aware of what was actually going on behind closed doors. Nothing illegal, of course. Just three men making a lot of wild and unwise decisions they usually forgot about by the time morning came.

Halfway up the hill towards the house, a comfortable weight falls on your shoulders and without noticing, you’re not shivering anymore. The culprit is obvious and once you turn to him, one corner of your brother’s mouth is turned upwards but he doesn’t meet your gaze. Even so, the gesture is so characteristically him, and so nice, that you can’t help but nudge his shoulder lovingly to which he responds in kind.

Moments later, you’re greeted at the front door by two big bodyguards who would have been intimidating if it weren’t for the sunglasses they chose to wear at night.

“Name?” One of them asks, holding a clipboard that looked pocket sized in his hands.

As expected, your brother steps forward, shielding both you and Jeongin. “Minho, Y/n and Jeongin.”

You see recognition draw on the man’s face and in the most unexpected turn of events, he smiles down at Minho with familiarity, not even bothering to check the guest list anymore.

“Hi, Min.” His whole demeanour changes, voice soft and inviting causing you and Jeongin to share a perplexed look. This is the second time you attend a Seo Changbin party. How many has your brother been to for such a greeting? “Go right in, Jisung was looking for you.”

He nods and returns the smile as the man steps to the side, allowing the three of you to pass without another word. The big hallway is brightly lit with no partygoer in sight, booming music muffled by the closed doors on each side but still loud enough to feel a headache coming in. Right by the big stairs in the middle, is a man carrying a tray of champagne that approaches instantly.

“Can I offer you a drink?”

The slight shock can be read on both your and Jeongin’s faces but Minho isn’t fazed, used to it like he’s the one actually living here. He shakes his head no, so the man’s gaze moves to you and Jeongin, waiting patiently. Sharing another look, you hesitate for a brief moment before indulging in a glass of champagne from the tray.

After that, he moves back to his place by the stairs.

“Let’s go.” Minho nods in your direction and you follow, not wanting to get separated yet. Now, if Felix was with you, there would be no worry plaguing your mind about getting lost since he would be holding your hand the whole time. But now, he was already inside, having the time of his life without you.

The thought makes your mood drop again, so you take another big gulp of the bubbly drink.

Once the door opens, numerous things hit you all at once. It’s like stepping into a completely new world filled with music, flashing lights and hundreds of people doing whatever their heart desires. Some were on the dance floor, some at the bar (which you had no idea Changbin even had in his house), some making out with their sweethearts in corners of the room while others were playing video games in the far back. It was a mess, like a big bowl of soup with all sorts of people serving as the vegetables while the broth that kept them together was 3racha.

Weird analogy but it’s true – all of these people would never come together if it weren’t for their shared love for Chan, Changbin and Jisung.

You were one of these people. But you loved a member a bit (a lot) more than the others.

It doesn’t take long for Minho to go on his merry way, leaving you and Jeongin alone without even a spare glance in your direction. The two of you are left wandering around until Jeongin spots someone familiar and drags you along to them, visibly happier at the sight.

And you get why instantly when the people that come into view are none other than Seungmin and Felix, sitting on a couch by themselves. Your other friends must have abandoned them as well.

“Finally,” Seungmin rolls his eyes, not really annoyed but still keeping up his usual front, “I texted you both an hour ago. What took you so long?”

Both you and Jeongin pull your phones out at the same time to see ten new messages in the groupchat the four of you shared. Messages neither of you read.

“Traffic.” You shrug, taking a seat next to Felix who immediately smiles and pulls your body into a warm embrace, so uncharacteristic of the way he’s been acting lately. Next to Seungmin, Jeongin mouths an annoying ‘I told you so’ that the others don’t notice, which you pointedly ignore. He makes a face in return but your attention is already stolen by Felix again.

Pulling away, you can smell the alcohol in his breath. It’s faint, mixed with the one of mint but it helps you understand his behavior. “You look beautiful tonight.”

His voice is deeper than usual, but loud enough to be heard over the deafening music. You thank him and he nods happily, taking your now empty glass of champagne and putting it on the table in front among many others. That’s when your eyes start wandering around the room and you notice that Hyunjin, the one Felix ditched you for, is nowhere to be seen.

His arm is still wrapped around your shoulders when you lean closer to bring it up. “Where’s Hyunjin? Didn’t you come together?”

A brief pause, before his head whips around in search of the boy like he just notices his absence. “I think he stepped out for a bit with his girlfriend.”

You nod, choosing to believe him before getting straight to the point, not wanting to prolong it further. “Are you mad at me?”

The moment the question escapes your lips, you see his whole face change and something like panic overtakes him. Without a word, he pulls away and takes both of your hands in his, squeezing tightly.

“What?” his voice is louder now, getting Seungmin and Jeongin’s attention as well. “What are you even talking about? Why would I be mad at you?”

Your overthinking nature causes countless reasons to float around in your mind like your brain and sanity were free real estate by this point. They weren’t logical reasons – as stupid as they come, but after the past week, you started to genuinely consider them as actual possibilities. Maybe the bond you and Felix developed wasn’t the healthiest since you needed to be in each other’s presence at all times to feel complete, to feel alright. Maybe he finally came to this realization and pulled back for both of your sakes, trying to singlehandedly fix your co-dependent selves.

Or maybe, this whole thing had nothing to do with you to begin with.

Still, the sudden change in behaviour really affected you more than you would’ve liked.

“I don’t know. You’re the one that started ignoring me.”

He shakes his head, suddenly much sober than before and now drawing patterns on the back of your hand. “I didn’t ignore you at all, Y/n.”

“Yes, you did.” The stubbornness in your tone gets a faint smile from him, one you don’t notice. “You’ve been distant.”

Felix lets out a sigh, releasing one of your hands to instead reach out and fix your hair. “So, you’ve noticed.”

“Of course, I did!” Now you’re the one whose emotions are running high while he remains calm, listening to you as the roles get reversed. “Are you going to tell me what is up with that or not? What did I do?”

“It’s not your fault, Y/n.” He responds instantly, hoping to put your worries at rest. By now, both Jeongin and Seungmin are well invested in your conversation but have the decency to at least pretend they’re not eavesdropping. “This is all on me.”

You look him straight in the eyes, silently urging him to elaborate. Letting go of you altogether, Felix scoots back, putting some distance between you so he can get comfortable enough to start explaining. A loud party where everyone is drunk and having the time of their lives isn’t the most suitable environment for such a conversation but, you couldn’t keep this in anymore. You needed to talk to Felix before your whole world came crashing down.

A bit dramatic but still holding a gram of truth. You came here for Jisung tonight, but fixing things with your best friend still took priority.

“Jisung talked to me, weeks ago after their performance that night.” He speaks clearly, playing with the ring on his middle finger. “He reminded me of a time when I hurt you and remembering that made me feel like a horrible person all over again.”

You open your mouth to interfere but he cuts you off, shaking his head while his eyes start getting glossy. Seems like the alcohol in his system was heightening his emotions.

“So, yeah. I started distancing myself because I didn’t want to be the reason for your tears ever again.”

That’s when it hits you. There’s only one instance Felix could be talking about so full of emotion, so frail and on the verge of tears.

Without a word, you scoot over and bring his body into a hug, which prompts the boy to let out a startled sob. Your arms tighten around him, and his come to circle your waist as he returns the embrace with all of the love his body carries around daily. All of the love he accumulated over the years for you which is stored in a special place, near and dear to his heart.

The music is loud, annoyingly so, but you still manage to make yourselves understood over it.

“Listen, Lix,” He hums to show you he is in fact listening, still keeping his face hidden in your chest while your hands caress his back tenderly. “We were kids. What happened back then was completely my fault since I never mustered enough courage to tell you about my feelings.”

He mumbles something inaudible before looking up, eyes still glossy with unshed tears and nose slightly pink. “Doesn’t matter. I should have known.”

That gets a laugh out of you and he pouts, not understanding where your amusement came from. “About the crush I wasn’t even 100% aware of? No way you could have.”

Still pouting, he wipes his eyes, smudging some of the pretty makeup he put on for tonight. Without being able to stop yourself, you reach out and pinch one of his cheeks.

“You’re so silly, Lix. Making me lose my mind over something that happened half a decade ago that we’re both over.”

Finally, he laughs, happy and genuine with sparkling eyes. “I’m still sorry, though. I never meant to hurt you.” His smile drops halfway through the sentence, getting stuck in his head again.

What does a person with a tendency to overthink need? A chronic overthinker and sensitive best friend, of course. Two peas in a pod, you and Felix.

“I know.” You nod. “You would never hurt me on purpose, Lix.”

Life seems to come back to his eyes, face regaining its colour as he pulls you into another hug and apologizes again. You don’t mean to get deeper into it, satisfied with how things turned out but he goes on a full explanation about what actually happened back then. He rambles about his first girlfriend again, how he was so excited to finally experience what love meant that he completely shut everyone out to fully focus on her. These are all things you remember that now don’t hurt anymore so you listen, a smile full of fondness adorning your face.

He also tells you how back then, Jisung was the one who made him realize that what he was doing wasn’t okay. But of course, since they were two hormonal teenagers, neither could get their point across nicely so that’s how the fighting started.

This new information startles you. Why did Jisung feel the need to get on Felix’s case about his behaviour towards you? Not once, but twice, almost ten years apart? What is going on in Han Jisung’s head has never been more of a mystery than right now.

And speaking of, as you’re mulling over the matter, you look up and your eyes lock with his beautiful brown ones that seem to call your name wordlessly, making your heart rate speed up alarmingly.

There he was, the man you’ve been wanting to see for days, looking through you like always. It’s scary how even in a room as crowded as this, it still feels like you’re the only two people there when he looks at you. Everyone just disappears and your heart takes over, putting on the rose-coloured glasses that only allow you to see him. And somehow, he seems to be aware of this because he winks and turns around before the smirk on his face can stretch into an actual smile, a silent invitation to join him.

Noticing, Felix stops talking yet his smile still remains. “Go.”

“What?”

Jisung is walking away now while tens of people surround him, trying to get his attention somehow. A usual occurrence only this time, your eyes never leave him, following his every move.

“Go after him.” He laughs, the sound clear and genuine. “We’ll talk later.”

Your gaze finally moves to your best friend who’s all smile and sunshine, the sight making you lean over to give him another hug. “Okay, I’m going. Wish me luck.”

But before he can, Jeongin butts in and exposes his eavesdropping self. “Go get him already! I picked out your outfit for Han Jisung to enjoy so stop wasting your time on Felix!”

Seungmin laughs and you feel your face get warmer, looking down bashfully as Felix’s smile drops and he stands up to give the younger a piece of his mind. All in good fun, of course.

“Also get rid of that stupid jacket!”

The last thing you see when you walk away is Felix messing Jeongin’s hair and treating his face like cookie dough, bickering playfully while Seungmin gives you a thumbs up in encouragement. Oh, yeah, he was definitely your favourite.

Despite your worries, it doesn’t take you long to find Jisung in the sea of people, almost like you were guided by a helping string through all the craziness around. 3racha are sitting together, in a corner of the room that stands out like a sore thumb, surrounded by partygoers as expected. With each on different couches, with their own friends, is even easier to walk right up to the man you dream about constantly. He’s sitting in the middle, with Chan and Changbin on either side of him at their respective LED-lighted coffee tables that are overflowing with drinks and food catered to their liking. Every time you’re hit with such a sight, you remember that these people you have the pleasure of calling your friends are living in a completely different world, very much detached from your boring one.

You and Jisung are part of different worlds. Is that why your brother was so adamant you stay away?

Speaking of your brother, he isn’t among the people who are currently talking Jisung’s ear off. They’re always attached to the hip, where could have he gone off to?

“Are you going to say hi or are you planning on standing there all night, sweetheart?”

You snap out of it to find Jisung and the four people next to him all staring at you, some curious, others annoyed, while the man of the hour is smirking, amused. When your eyes meet, he beckons you over with a single finger, eyes lighting up the dark room once you’re close enough.

Taking another sip of his drink, Jisung sits up straighter. “Guys, this is Y/n.”

They all greet you politely, not wanting to upset him in any way. These weren’t adoring fans but that didn’t mean they didn’t want to remain in his good graces.

“Well, Y/n,” one of them, a girl sitting on his right, is the first to talk. “There aren’t any seats left so…”

Her tone isn’t polite nor friendly, and the glare hidden behind her fake smile rubs you the wrong way. So wrong that without a warning, you move and take a seat right in Jisung’s lap, turning your back to her as your attention is once again captivated by his beautiful face.

“Don’t worry about me.” You purr, voice as sweet as liquorice when Jisung’s wide eyes meet yours. “It looks like Jisung saved the best seat for me, after all.”

You hear her scoff and begin complaining to the guy next to her, but you’re too busy getting lost in his mesmerizing gaze to care, eyes darkening with every breath he takes. Jisung’s arms find your waist instantly, helping you find a more comfortable position like you being on top of him is the most natural thing in the world. As you’re sitting on one of his thighs, the other moves to cage your legs between his and press against you in the sexiest way.

Looking up at you, the glitter under his eyes is the only thing shimmering and bringing light to his contemplative expression, devoid of the usual smirk. Seems like you knocked the cockiness out of him.

Good.

“How is that for a hello?”

Honestly, speaking, you have no idea what possessed you to behave in such a way but the sudden burst of confidence was certainly welcomed. Getting to have the upper hand and make him nervous for once was a win in your book, and a needed break for your poor heart.

Still looking a little dazed, it takes Jisung a moment to react before he snorts and lets his head fall back on the couch. “Ten out of ten.”

You giggle, moving closer to trace his jaw with one of your fingers. The music was quieter here, so having a conversation was easier.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Jisung shakes his head, closing his eyes for a brief moment and that’s when you notice the tips of his ears turning red, making your giggles louder. “Are you doing all of this because Minho can catch us at any time or?”

“Or?” you urge him to continue, still somehow managing to keep your cool.

“You tell me.” His gaze moves to yours, no traces of amusement or shyness left and the intensity has your confidence shaking a bit.

His whole body relaxes under you, and that’s when you take the opportunity to finally take him in, avoiding his question at the same time. He is wearing a black leather jacket with a black shirt underneath, neck adorned by three silver necklaces you can’t seem to look away from, completed by a pair of black, ripped jeans. His fluffy hair is out of his face, showing his forehead and a part of the dark undercut you loved so much.

As always, Han Jisung looked perfect and butterflies inducing.

A smirk suddenly makes its way on your lips as you begin toying with one of the necklaces, distracted. “Or.”

His brows furrow for a moment, eyes glued on your face before he bursts out laughing, throwing his head back once again and exposing his clean neck. He would look good with a hickey or two. From you, of course.

“God, sweetheart. You’re going to be the death of me.”

The words make you pout, exaggerating for effect and his amusement. “Noo, you’re too sexy to die.”

Jisung lets out a sound that’s a half groan, half laugh, rolling his head away from you at the cringy line, having had enough. You only laugh harder, missing the way his arms tighten around you and bring your body a bit closer.

The party is just a blur around you and him, something outside your little bubble that neither pays attention to, too high on each other to care. Even the friends around him have faded into mere shadows, not important anymore.

“I missed having my own words being spoken back to me. It’s a really humbling experience.”

There’s a sparkle in his eyes as you snort and he chuckles, reaching out to play with a piece of your hair.

“Well, you should have called. Humbling you is my favourite pastime, after all.” You say simply, smiling at him while still playing with his necklaces. “I like this one.” It takes him a moment to realize the change in subject but once he does, his eyes move to the jewellery around your fingers.

He raises an eyebrow. “You do?”

“Sure. It’s pretty.”

Then, his warmth around you disappears as he reaches out to take off the thin, silver chain, placing it in your hands like it didn’t cost him thousands of dollars. Like it isn’t his favourite out of the bunch, the one he never takes off.

“Here, it’s yours.”

Your eyes widen as you look between him and the jewellery in your hands, completely taken aback. “What?”

The corners of his mouth turn upwards in a rare, genuine smile you usually don’t get to see on him while he closes your hand around it. His bigger hand envelops yours and has warmth spreading all over your body, kicking your previous confidence aside to let the butterflies start going wild.

“Do you need help putting it on?” He brushes past your question and confusion.

You still can’t wrap your head around his gesture, searching his gaze for any sort of hesitation. You find none, and that baffles you even more. “Are you serious?”

This time, he actually laughs. “Yes, I am, sweetheart. Now, will you let me help you?”

“Jisung, I can’t – “

“Nonsense.” He shakes his head, gently prying the necklace from your now clammy hand. “Come on, turn around for me, baby.”

You hesitate for several moments, looking at him to make sure he’s completely serious about what he’s saying and not messing with you in any way. Like before, he just smiles and moves your hair on one shoulder as his way of gently coaxing you to give in.

With a shuddering breath, you do, turning your back to him while pretending that the mere thought of his hands on you isn’t making your heart pound loudly in your chest. Like you aren’t going insane with want, needing him to touch you constantly for the fire in you to be kept at bay.

His hands are soft and gentle as he clasps the necklace around your neck, lingering on your nape while his hot breath causes goosebumps to rise all over your skin. When the chain is secured in place, Jisung doesn’t pull away as expected but leans forward to kiss the back of your neck tenderly which has your breath hitching in your throat in surprise.

The feeling of his lips burns on your skin as he places two more along your nape before fixing your hair and wrapping his toned arms around your waist again, hugging you to his chest.

“Beautiful.” He whispers, pecking your cheek as your own hands move to settle over his, desperately searching for something to hold on and keep sane. The position you’re now in is more intimate than before, being able to feel all of him against your back, under you and around you. It was intoxicating, his presence, making you feel dizzy and lightheaded in a way nobody has managed to before.

Does he feel it too? This electrifying feeling and the sparks that ignite between you? He has to, there was no way.

“It’s going to look so hot dangling between our bodies when you’re on top of me, don’t you think, baby?”

That’s the last straw, the thing that finally causes your heart to stop, brain turning into mush right in Han Jisung’s hands. Mustering all of your remaining strength, you turn to face him but he doesn’t budge so your nose bumps into his in the process, faces inches apart.

“When?” You let out with difficulty, breathless and barely able to meet his eyes.

“When.” He confirms, reaching out to touch the silver pendant and graze your chest, the brief touch almost making you jump out of your skin. Jisung knows exactly what he’s doing, the mischievous glint in his big, brown eyes telling you so. “Because I’m going to make it happen.”

If you needed any more confirmation that Jisung was as into you as you were into him, there you have it. Insane, the whole thing was insane and felt unreal. But the chemistry between you was definitely there and not a fragment of your imagination, especially when he leans down to plant quick pecks on the exposed skin of your neck, stopping briefly to suck but not enough to leave a mark.

Your eyes flutter shut as you cling onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning your head back to give him more space. But you can’t help but wonder if this was the alcohol talking. He looked as sober as one can be at a party, but the drinks in front of him were evidence enough of his intoxication.

He was always good at holding his liquor but that didn’t mean his thought process wasn’t a little fuzzy. Would he have done all of those things he did tonight, sober? Would he even touch you if alcohol wasn’t involved?

These doubts and insecurities cause your head to spin for a completely different reason, already pulling your body under and making you want to hide in a hole. So, when you let out a sigh that indicates how far your thoughts have run off too, no pleasure in sight, Jisung pulls away.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, voice soft with a hint of worry as he searches your gaze for any hint of discomfort he might have caused. If he wasn’t making you feel good, he had no problem stopping.

You shake your head, not looking at him. Not letting him catch even a glimpse of the storm that was currently taking place inside your mind. “Nothing.”

That’s not what he wants to hear, nor does he appreciate being lied to, face dropping. “Y/n – “

“Jisung!” The moment is broken as you both turn around at the new voice, the loud call of his name getting his friends’ attention too. Chan and Changbin are standing there, one more drunk than the other and very, very happy, with a small crowd behind them. “Come on, it’s game time!”

His face lights up at the words, briefly distracted by the activity he seems to enjoy. But the excitement doesn’t linger as he looks back at you, still out of it.

Nodding, one of his hands moves to pet the top of your head gently, soothing your racing mind like he knew exactly what was going on. Jisung could be so attentive when he wanted to; caring for the people around him and always putting their comfort first. A quality of his you thought got lost on the way to stardom.

“Go on, we’ll be right behind you.”

So, they do, the friends around you standing up and following Chan and Changbin in a heartbeat, chanting happily to where the game was going to take place while feeding on each other’s happiness.

Confused, you finally look at him. “Aren’t you going to join them?”

He smiles and everything slows down, your thoughts getting quiet as his lips connect with your forehead softly. “Let’s go together? I promise Changbin can make any game fun.”

How can you say no when he looks at you like you carry the stars in your eyes, like you’re the only one he can see?

Standing up, you offer him your hand and he grasps it gently, taking a moment before starting to drag you after his friends excitedly, resembling a hyperactive puppy let out of his leash.

Game time, in Changbin’s words, turns out to be a simple game of beer pong, one that proves to be more fun than you initially thought. Though, as expected, the loser and the winner get treated as such. The winning team gets the whole hot tub to themselves for a whole hour while the losers are left catering to their every need, granting all of their selfish wishes.

A big crowd gathers around the table to see 3racha play, hyped about joining and getting the prize. It’s crazy and loud and there are too many teams trying out their luck to the point where you almost give up on getting your turn, until Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin and Hyunjin join, all in high spirits. Their excitement rubs off on you and before you know it, you’re all having fun together without any care in the world.

Changbin’s simple game becomes the main attraction of the night when at some point, some guy lays on the table and instead of drinking from the red plastic cups, the loser has to do a shot of tequila off of his exposed chest. It’s wild but you swear you’ve never laughed harder in your life and that’s why, you don’t even mind when you and Seungmin don’t make it to the ‘finals’.

Your moment of glory might’ve been short lived until Chan beat you but at least, you and Seungmin managed to beat both Jeongin and Hyunjin and the unexpected opponents that appeared along the way when Felix and Jisung teamed up. They were a force to be reckoned with, almost ruining your winning streak but, you lived to see another day when Jisung got a little too cocky and lost the ball by throwing it too far. As expected, everyone lost their marbles and disqualified them both causing Felix to see red and jump him in a second. Only this time, their bickering wasn’t full of venom and malice but playfulness.

He still put him in a headlock, because of course, Felix did – violence was always the answer in his head when it came to Jisung. Your best friend was insane.

Anyways, as expected, the game went on for a good while before Chan and his teammate won against Changbin and some other guy, crowning him the loser in his own house which made Jisung laugh for ten minutes straight. Unfortunately for him, one of Chan’s wishes was for Bin to dress up as a maid and Jisung along with everyone else, filmed the whole thing.

A great memory for the grandkids, surely. They’re all going to fall over laughing just like Jisung did, not being able to stand on their own two feet while watching the video of their grandpa parading around in a skimpy, too-tight dress he had lying around.

For some strange reason, your brother was still nowhere to be seen, missing out on the whole game and the craziness that followed. Jisung said he was a pro at beer pong, so his absence was a bit concerning. Whatever Minho is doing, you just hope he’s having fun and being careful.

Who knows, maybe he’s having the time of his life with the fire dancers outside. That seems more like his scene anyway, though you’re sure he was going to regret not seeing Changbin sing Celine Dion with an apron on.

After all that, most of the crowd dissipates and you’re finally left alone with Jisung, the others being too busy drinking, napping on the floor or singing karaoke to pay any attention to whatever you two are doing. You knew Lix and the others certainly were as they were currently trying to sneak past Chan into the enormous hot tub.

By now, you’ve also had more drinks and the alcohol was buzzing in your veins in a very pleasant way, making you giddier and more confident than ever before. Happy, you were happy, and Jisung was beaming from ear to ear at the sight, elated that whatever thoughts were plaguing your beautiful mind were finally put to rest.

“You used to wear more rings.” Is the first thing you blurt out as he cages you between the ping pong table and his sturdy body, one arm around your middle while the other holds a suspicious looking blunt, resting on the wooden surface. That’s all you’ve been thinking about since the game as your eyes inspected every vein, dent and muscle in his very attractive arms. Arms you love to feel around you, holding your body close and secure.

“Oh, yeah,” He nods, taking a drag of the cig and blowing the smoke over your shoulder. “I stopped wearing them a while ago.”

You frown, boldly grabbing his hand to inspect the lone ring on his thumb. “Why?”

Jisung shrugs, not noticing the disappointment on your face. “They get in the way.”

“Of what?” Now you’re even more confused.

The only answer he gives you is a cocky smirk, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as he licks his lips in the hottest way only he can and your whole face feels like it’s on fire once you realize what he means. Pervert, that’s what he was. To be fair, you did this to yourself by asking but what the fuck kind of reason was that? It wasn’t even a good one since, in your opinion, rings made the whole experience so much more pleasurable. Something about the cold metal moving around inside you always tipped you over the edge embarrassingly quickly.

Without even thinking about it, since all of your common sense seems to fly out the window when Jisung is around, you take off one of your own rings and slide it on his ring finger. Miraculously, it fits perfectly.

“Here.” You let go as he brings the blunt back to his lips, only then looking at the new jewel adorning his beautiful hand. “This will keep all these other girls away. Now they have nothing to get in the way of.”

Usually, you pride yourself in being smart, the smartest in your family. But as Jisung admires the piece quietly, a faint smile on his lips, you start feeling like the biggest moron. Making him wear it on his ring finger? What were you thinking? How much was the alcohol affecting you to pull such a stunt, making it look like you were proposing?

There was jealousy and then there was stupidity and you were currently being both. Stupidly jealous.

To your surprise, his eyes sparkle with something more than amusement. What is he enjoying more? Your sudden possessiveness or your drunken antics?

“Since when have you become so bold, sweetheart?” He asks quietly, pinning you against the furniture and getting right in your face. “Not that I’m complaining.”

A verbal response doesn’t want to leave your lips, so you shrug, too embarrassed and overwhelmed by him, looking down to play with his necklace around your neck. You were both wearing each other’s jewellery now, in a clear show of…something? Affection? Possessiveness? What was it?

You weren’t a couple but you willingly gave away your favourite ring, letting him hold, kiss and mess with your head daily. Maybe this was the love you’ve been dreaming about? Han Jisung, your first love, had a nice ring to it.

You weren’t sure. But what you were sure of was the way he managed to make you feel like the most special person on earth, like the only one that mattered in this room that was filled to the brim with people. This was his party as much as it was Changbin’s but he’s been spending most of his time with you, not playing host at all. That had to mean something, right?

Even as others approached him, Jisung had no problem shrugging them off and going back to make you laugh or your head spin, only seeing you and your beautiful smile he could never get enough of. Not even his best friend, Minho, got him to himself as much as you did tonight, despite him being the one Jisung was looking for at the beginning of the night.

Han Jisung was considered a genius but around you, he had no problem playing the fool.

His free hand from around your waist moves upwards on your body, sending a shiver down your spine and only stopping once it reaches your face, cupping your cheek. “In that case, I should also give you something.” He says, continuing your conversation from before while you try to regain your composure.

Your arms gravitate around his shoulder, leisurely meeting at the back of his head. “You already did.” You nod towards the chain around your neck, patiently reminding him of his previous gesture.

Shaking his head, Jisung brings the blunt back to his lips. “I mean something a bit more special.”

That piques your interest and you move closer, sharing the same breath while looking straight into each other’s eyes with such intensity it has you forgetting where you are for a second. Getting lost in someone else’s eyes has never happened to you until now, the beautiful and warm brown colour transporting you to unexplored realms.

Just like magic, Jisung’s got you under such a powerful spell that you wouldn’t mind staring into his eyes forever.

“Tell me, baby,” he mumbles lowly, changing the subject, inches away from your lips. “you’re the happiest when you’re with me, right?”

His wet lips part as he exhales the smoke in his lungs right over yours, causing goosebumps to appear all over your body, whole being shaking with desire. It’s been weeks and he’s still teasing you, leaning in just to pull away at the last second, playing tug of war with your heart like it was the most entertaining game in the world.

Somehow, things always ended like this with him. No matter how much time passed, or how your last meeting went, an invisible force pulled you together instantly the moment you near one another. You gravitated towards each other so naturally that sometimes, you didn’t even realize it until you were groping, caressing and begging for him to kiss you. To do something, anything.

So, you nod, seeing no point in trying to hide the obvious truth. This causes a small smile to peak through his mask, the one he wears around everyone, eyes full of fondness as he reaches out to gently put some hair behind your ear. You realize now that he’s never looked at you with anything but fondness and affection, brown eyes always so bright and sparkly in your presence. Even in the more intense moments you shared, it was easy to decipher the love in his lust-filled gaze.

Tenderly, as always, his hand moves to the back of your head to bring you closer before taking another drag of his cig while maintaining the same intense eye contact from before. Your heart rate picks up, the anticipation killing you. What was he planning? How will he mess with your head this time? You wait impatiently, trying to keep yourself together until his thumb connects with your bottom lip and coaxes your mouth to open, having half a mind to close again around the digit. But you don’t and the unexpected happens – without breaking eye contact, Jisung exhales all the smoke he inhaled into your mouth in the sexiest way possible. The gesture affects you both because suddenly, the breath you shared goes faint.

Your heart pounds against your ribcage, almost like it’s begging to be left out and you’re sure he can feel it. Especially when he doesn’t give you any more time to process what just happened and finally connects your lips in the most awaited kiss of your life. You gasp against his mouth and he smirks, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue inside and deepen the kiss instantly.

It feels surreal, finally getting to kiss Jisung after so long. A dream come true, sure – but more like a fairy tale that has finally reached its happy ending.

He’s in no rush, movements controlled with great precision to ensure all the teasing and waiting around has been more than worth it. The arm around your waist tightens, pulling you flush against his body so you too can feel how affected he is by the whole thing, how his body burns with desire as the hand on your hair moves lower, settling on the small of your back, dangerously close to your ass.

But you’ve had it with being careful, always waiting around so you move his hand even lower, to rest exactly where he wants it to be. If Jisung is surprised, he does the opposite because the moment he feels your supple flesh on his fingertips, he squeezes shamelessly which causes you to let out a moan.

Pushing you further into the table, you’re almost sitting on the surface as his hand then moves to cup your face and melt into you deliciously. The kiss is wet and passionate, conveying the desperation that accumulated over the years of being denied this. You’re making out now and you swear your whole body feels like it’s resting on a fluffy cloud, far, far away from here with Jisung being the only person allowed to join you in this high.

It's intoxicating, it’s raw and full of emotion – it’s a kiss like no other, something only he can provide.

Pulling away briefly to allow you to catch your breath, his swollen and wet lips find your neck again only this time, he sucks on the skin with the intent of leaving something behind, evidence of his presence. Your vision gets blurry, a breathy moan escaping you as your hand brings him closer like you weren’t already one, as much as you could be still fully clothed.

“Isn’t this so much better than a little necklace?” He mumbles against your skin, soothing the bruise he left gently. Without waiting for you to answer, Jisung gets a hold of your thighs and finally places you on the table, settling between your legs.

Not like you can answer anyway, too dizzy and drunk on the taste of his lips to care to. Your ring on his finger catches your attention as he begins running both of his big hands on the expanse of your body, caressing every curve over the red and tight dress you have to thank Jeongin for choosing as your outfit tonight.

“Beautiful, baby. So fucking beautiful.”

And that’s all it takes for you to pull him back in, connecting your lips and putting the puzzle pieces back together in a sweet and deep kiss. Holding you by the hips now, he’s more than happy to get lost on cloud nine again, eagerness slowly taking over and making his movements more frantic, grinding his crouch against yours sensually.

There’s no doubt in your mind that you would have ended up fucking on this table, in front of everybody if what happened next didn’t sober you up instantly.

“What the actual fuck are you two doing?”

・❥・

♡. taglist: @liknws @scarletbedlam @xhazmania @skzpvol @slut4colinbridgerton @sealovesbts @stickycrusadecollective @byullielle @princelingperfect @realrintaro @ilychee08 @mysweethannie @jetblackbelle @hanjisunginc @whitney190 @emyladia @hanschimpmunk @briqnne @seungminsapuppy @telehan @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lvrgrl-xo @imnotgoodatnature @adestayskz @imsiriuslyreal @dprkbyn @hyunsungbased @dandycharmer @thepeopleintheback @fashominnie @ch4nniebang @possumy @emikisses @skzhoes @drhsthl @baribaaari @highlydestiny @starsandrqindrops @queerpumpkinnn @lilmarkieepooh

[lilmoony]

It's a bad idea, right? (02)

*ೃ༄ pairing: han jisung x fem!reader.

*ೃ༄ genre: college!au, brother's best friend & 3racha Jisung (yes he is his own genre lol), y/n is Minho's slightly younger sister, childhood friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, drama, my attempt at humor.

*ೃ༄ word count: 10k.

*ೃ༄ summary: The Lee siblings' rule was simple: don’t flirt, kiss, sleep, or even dare to think about dating the other sibling’s friends. Pretty straightforward stuff, right? No matter how ridiculous that rule sounds now, both of you respected it religiously for years, being one of the main reasons your relationship remained as strong as it did for so long. But, what happens when your brother decides to break it on a random Friday night, at a frat party, with one of your closest friends? You decide to take revenge, of course. And what better way to do it than with the help of his precious best friend, Han Jisung, whom you’ve been crushing on since forever?

*ೃ༄ warnings: cursing, suggestive themes, jealousy, sexual tension, mentions of drinking and smoking.

♡. part 01 .♡ , ♡. part 03 .♡

♡. a/n: hii <3 i really struggled with this part since I wanted it to end in a completely different way but tbh, I think this new ending is better. yn and jisung are really, really into each other (horny) in this part so enjoy! <3 do let me know your thoughts about this chapter!! <3 i love reading them (the first part of this chapter is from jisung's pov).

Their little private party continued well into the night, with drinks pouring and smoke making everyone a little hazy and disconnected from the world. It was an intoxicating feeling, one Jisung enjoyed to the fullest at the end of every gig and every night if he could.

Still, things were a bit different now. Usually, he would have people all over him, touching and whispering the dirtiest of things in his ear until he’d finally snap and take them to his dressing room. When away, he preferred to use his hotel room for such activities but while in town, the dressing room was his best choice since his house has always been off-limits. He wasn’t like Chan or Changbin, Jisung valued his privacy and the precious memories he’s made over the years in said house. Call him sentimental, but the only people who have ever stepped foot in his childhood bedroom were his best friend, his first girlfriend and the other two members of 3racha. That’s it.

Was it a bit weird to be so protective over something so silly and insignificant? Maybe. Did Jisung care? Not really.

Even so, he’s only ever allowed a handful of people in his personal bubble, as well as his bedroom, his safe space if you will. That’s why all the hookups were strictly happening somewhere far, far away from that bubble. Maybe he was afraid of intimacy, to let someone else see him bare in more ways than one and that’s why he’s locked his heart away and threw the key somewhere so out of reach for everyone.

Or maybe, he just had commitment issues. That’s what Minho always says anyway.

One thing was certain though – no random stranger would ever step foot in his house, no matter how high, intoxicated or horny he was. Jisung was a man with well-established boundaries and nothing will change that.

That’s why he was no stranger to going home alone. It was, however, out of the ordinary for him to end the night without getting his dick wet. It’s not like he lacked options: there were many, an overwhelming amount. He just wasn’t feeling it, no energy left in him to text any of them back, to deal with any more people than he’s already had to tonight.

His social battery ran out too quickly and now all he wanted to do was go home and sleep for two days straight, turning his phone off and disappearing from everyone’s lives for a while. His friends and manager will understand, surely.

A deep voice interrupted his inner turmoil as he dwelled on the matter, oscillating between calling over one of his booty calls from the bar for a quick fuck or just going straight home and locking himself away. Guess that had to be put on hold for the time being.

“Han Jisung.”

Looking up, he can’t help but smirk at the person he finds standing in front of him. “Yongbok. You keep surprising me tonight. Do you miss me, is that it?”

Felix rolls his eyes in response, already regretting his choice to approach him, which amuses Jisung greatly. Standing up, he ignores the buzzing phone in his hand and crosses his arms, giving the other man his whole attention for the time being.

The silence stretches on as Felix’s face contorts unpleasantly and it’s clear that he’d rather be doing anything else than speak to him right now. It must have taken everything in him to come over and start this conversation and without you by his side, it looks like Yongbok has already reached his limit.

Speaking of, where have you disappeared to? And most importantly, why was your loyal puppy bothering him instead of being with you?

Growing tired, Jisung tries his best to mask the exasperation in his voice. “What do you want, Yongbok? Do you need help finding your way home to your owner or what?”

The glare he receives in response is hilarious to his tipsy self, the alcohol in his system making him miss all the obvious social cues. Not like he cared in the first place, this was Yongbok in front of him after all.

“Help? From you?” Yongbok laughs, throwing his head back. “Not in a million years.”

Jisung is the one who rolls his eyes now, finally throwing the annoying device that hasn’t stopped buzzing on the chair behind him. “Then? I don’t want to spend the rest of my night with you, so spit it out already.”

Any traces of the smile previously on his features vanish instantly as big, brown eyes look straight into his. “I’m here to give you a warning.”

Amused, Jisung raises an eyebrow, leaning back on the chair nonchalantly. If Yongbok was expecting him to shiver in his boots, he’d have to try harder than that.

Stepping closer, Felix’s voice gets lower. “If you hurt her, Han Jisung, I swear I will return that pain tenfold.”

That piques his interest and he uncrosses his arms, straightening his posture. He’s a few inches taller than the man before him but Jisung learned a long time ago to not underestimate him. Felix might’ve been petite but behind the bright and smiley exterior was a very skilled fighter, one that wasn’t afraid to step in and defend his loved ones.

Jisung wasn’t stupid – he knew that even with the boxing lessons Minho made him take as some sort of bonding activity, he was no match for Felix in a physical fight.

But what Felix seems to have forgotten is that Jisung has an advantage. Or several.

“Don’t worry about that.” Suddenly much more sober than before, he lets the ghost of a smirk appear on his tense features, one that Felix doesn’t fail to notice.

“After all, I’m not the one who made her cry, am I?”

As expected, his words hit a bit too close to home and Felix’s tough exterior visibly crumbles as he takes a step back, like he was in pain himself. Like he was the one left sobbing for days on end by his best friend, abandoned like an old toy that inevitably got replaced by another, shiny and new. Like you were the one that hurt him and not the other way around; like he was the victim in the whole situation.

The nerve of him to act like he was the one Jisung held in his arms as his shirt got drenched, fragile heart breaking in his hands with every pained whimper that escaped your mouth. The audacity had Jisung’s anger rising without a clear reason, not really understanding his reaction. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the memory of your tear-stained face looking up at him, so broken and sad in the passenger seat of his car on a random Monday back in high school, when he picked you up in Minho’s place.

It was most likely both that fuelled his unexplainable anger and kept him talking, completely ignoring the look on Felix’s face just like he ignored you back then.

“Nor did I lead her on for months on end like a fucking asshole, right?”

Felix visibly flinches at the words, certainly relieving those same memories Jisung was thinking about just moments ago. Even though he couldn’t and he never will because he wasn’t there. Felix wasn’t there to comfort you when you needed him the most, Jisung was.

And he remembers it like it was yesterday.

So whatever pain Felix might be feeling now could never compare to the one you felt back then, struggling to breathe through the sobs that even his soothing touch and whispered words of comfort couldn’t diminish.

Without giving him any other chance to speak, he continues carelessly, landing the finishing blow.

“Now that we’re both on the same page, Yongbok,” he exhales through gritted teeth, taking a step closer towards him just like Felix has done before when he expected him to back down. “Get the fuck out of my face.”

He blinks, schooling his face into a neutral expression that doesn’t prevent Jisung from seeing right through him as he hoped. On the contrary, his clenched jaw tells him everything he needs to know.

Yongbok is fuming, barely holding himself together. But, he’s also aware of his faults so he backs off, not blowing up in Jisung’s face like he wants. For such a nice guy, loved by many, Felix had a pretty short fuse.

Guess that’s why he’s such a great actor, charming everyone he meets with just a few pretty words he never means.

Anyways, crisis averted for now. Somewhat.

“What’s going on here?” Chan’s voice interrupts their glaring match but the tension remains as palpable as before, even as they both take a step back from each other. Even tipsy, they’re both still sober enough to remember that fighting in front of Chan won’t end well for either of them.

“Nothing.” Felix finally speaks, voice hoarse and deeper than before, the storm behind his eyes not visible to Chan. “I was just leaving, Y/n is waiting for me.”

Chan nods slowly, trying to understand what happened as Felix walks past him without as much of a glance in his direction.

Jisung’s eyes follow his retreating form for a moment before he reaches for his discarded phone and his mouth opens on its own accord, not being able to stop himself. “Make sure you don’t make her cry on the way home, Yongbok.”

Both of Felix’s middle fingers shoot up in the air as he continues to walk away, not bothering to give any other answer to the obvious taunt. Jisung only smirks, satisfied he managed to get under his skin for a second time that night.

When he finally disappears and they remain alone in their little space in the VIP section, Chan turns to him with curiosity written all over his face.

“What was that?”

He shrugs, already captivated by his phone. “I’m just looking out for Minho’s little sister.”

Chan doesn’t buy it, Jisung can tell without even looking at him. But he doesn’t react, fingers moving across the screen as he types, cancelling multiple plans he made while sober and in a more social mood.

“Jisung.” Chan sighs, not even expecting an answer as he runs a hand through his dark curls. “Don’t start playing with fire if you aren’t ready to get burnt.”

That makes him tear his gaze from the device, a cocky smile slowly morphing onto his features. “Oh, but I’m ready.”

Then, he shows his screen to Christopher who can’t help but also smirk when he recognizes the people in the picture before him. It was you and Jisung after all, sharing a supposed kiss that was already gaining thousands of likes despite being posted just minutes ago. With the lighting and the angle, his fans wouldn’t be able to recognize you but the people that mattered certainly would.

Like Minho, if he paid close attention, which he didn’t most of the time. But to be honest, that’s what he was hoping for. Minho scrolling past his feed without a second glance and giving him more time to enjoy this silly ploy with you. The alcohol in his system along with the adrenaline pumping through his veins from the little confrontation that just took place completely erased all of his nerves and previous protests regarding your plan, leaving him giddy with excitement.

Minho might not notice but there was no doubt in his mind that Yongbok would, despite having him blocked on all socials. This will reach him one way or another and Jisung couldn’t wait to see his blood boil as he turned green with envy, jealous of the way he got to touch and feel you while he was stuck on the sidelines, watching it all.

“I’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?” And for once, Chris actually agrees with him.

Oh, this was going to be so much fun.

—----

The weekend finds you on the couch, scrolling idly through your phone while a random show plays in the background and one of the cats sleeps soundly on your stomach, deeming you comfy enough for a bed. It’s quiet and peaceful, with the sun barely peeking through the closed curtains and you almost doze off as your scrolling slowly stops. Your breathing evens out and sleep is right there, on the tip of your eyelashes, coming to take you to dreamland until the most annoying voice in existence startles both you and the feline and your phone slips through your fingers and falls to the ground. The cat jumps off and runs away instantly, seeking comfort with his other two siblings while you remain there, groaning into a pillow.

“Come here! I made breakfast.” Your brother yells from the kitchen and this is the first time in your life that you start to consider murder as the only option left to solve all of your problems.

Rolling your eyes, you complain under your breath as you drag your feet to the kitchen, forgetting all about your phone and the sweet dream that was about to take you under. When he sees you, Minho’s whole face lights up from where he’s sitting at the table, not expecting you to actually join him.

Well, too bad you won’t.

“Thanks.” Is all you say before grabbing your plate and making your way back to the living room, Minho’s face falling in the process.

It’s been exactly one week since that incident at the party, when Minho, letting his dick take over, broke one of your promises. One week since you’ve spoken more than three sentences to him.

Truth be told, you were starting to miss him but every time you tried to make things right, to push it all aside for the sake of your relationship, your anger got the better of you and it all went back to square one. It was childish and you could feel Minho’s annoyance rising because of your behaviour but, you just couldn’t stop yourself, especially when you remembered all the years you’ve spent following that rule just for his sake. Just so he won’t be upset or uncomfortable having to pick between his sister and one of his friends.

You’ve put his happiness above yours for so long and in the end, he couldn’t have cared less. You were miserable for nothing. That’s where all of the anger came from, among other things (Han Jisung).

Minho lets out a loud sigh but other than that, remains seated and gives you the space you need. Your brother wasn’t a bad guy, far from it, but he really messed up and now he had to bear the consequences of his actions.

As you make yourself comfortable on the couch again, Dori comes back and jumps onto your lap, purring, almost like he wants to take away your anger himself which warms your heart. This is why your brother’s furballs were your favourite thing about him.

Ten minutes later, when you’re done eating, Minho comes to get your plate and goes back to wash it without a word. Every time you two argue and it ends up being his fault, your brother has the same pattern when it comes to apologizing. If words don’t work, he switches to acts of service and if those don’t work either, he starts spending money on the most random stuff you might have said you liked 5 years ago. His brain worked in mysterious ways.

Thankfully, the doorbell rings and breaks the awkward atmosphere.

Picking Dori up, you make your way towards the door and almost gasp when you realize who’s on the other side.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” His voice is low, like he just rolled out of bed and came here first thing and the sound alone awakens the dormant butterflies that always go crazy when he’s near. “Can I come in?”

You nod, trying to catch your breath as you step to the side and Dori jumps from your arms to rub himself against Jisung’s legs in greeting. The boy smiles, the most genuine you’ve ever seen him and crouches down to pet the little feline, his favourite out of the three. And nobody could blame him when the bond they shared was absolutely adorable.

Suddenly, you’re very conscious of your appearance and your hands shoot up to at least fix your hair as his back is to you, patting down and cursing under your breath at the ugly pyjamas you chose to wear last night.

Of course, Han Jisung has to show up looking all perfect at 10 a.m. while you still look like a literal zombie. Just your luck, really.

You haven’t seen him since his gig a few days ago but you’ve kept in touch, and he certainly didn’t mention anything about suddenly coming to your house on a Saturday morning. So, that means he’s here to see your stupid brother. Great. You can never win, can you?

“Oh?” Minho’s voice reaches both of you simultaneously as he comes strolling into the hallway with the other two cats in toe, hands still wet. “Why are you here?”

From the way he speaks, you would never guess these two have been best friends since middle school.

“Good morning to you too, baby.” Jisung smirks as he looks up, still petting Dori who’s now on his back, showing his belly, and your heart can’t help but flutter at the nickname even though he didn’t address you. There was something almost enthralling about the way this word rolled down his tongue, just like fresh honey. Addicting even, making you want to be the only one with the privilege of hearing it. Want to be his baby. Wait, what –

“Can’t I come and visit my best friend once in a while?” He continues, smirk slowly morphing into a smile yet the playfulness doesn’t leave his voice. “I’ve missed you.”

Minho rolls his eyes, drying his hands on the dark blue apron he wore. Your dad’s apron. “I saw you two days ago.”

“And that was two days too long!”

“Do you guys need a moment?”

They both turn to look at you at the same time like they just remembered you were hearing this too. Jisung gives you an apologetic smile and stands up, pushing the hair back from his eyes. “Another time. You’re the one I came to see today, sweetheart.”

Minho’s eyes narrow as he looks between the two of you, completely oblivious to the excitement that is quickly taking over you. And just like that, for the first time that morning, Han Jisung manages to make you smile with a single sentence.

But before you can open your mouth, your brother butts in and the world comes crashing down again. “See her? What for? I didn’t know you guys were that close.”

The glare you send his way would make any normal person feel uncomfortable but as we’ve already established, you and your brother were far from normal. He’s grown immune to your antics a long time ago as nothing you can do or say phases him anymore.

Or so, he thinks.

Before you can open your mouth and bite back, you feel a strong arm wrap around your shoulders and pull you close, the smell of his cologne invading all of your senses and making you a little unstable on your feet.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about our relationship, right, sweetie?”

Then it all clicks in your head, making sense. Jisung isn’t here to see Minho – he’s here to annoy him! He’s here for you! Thank God his arm was already holding you upright because you were sure your legs might’ve betrayed you at the realization.

Your features relax and soften as you look up at him, batting your eyelashes in what you hope is a seductive way. He looks down instinctively and winks, smirk widening when you reach out and gently trace his jaw with one finger, pleased you caught on to his act.

“You don’t have to tell him all of our secrets now, Ji.” You purr and he responds by leaning into your touch, playing it up as much as he can since he’s aware Minho could see right through your act if he tried.

Thankfully, your brother is still stuck on the way Jisung enunciated that one word, relationship, like he was hinting at something deeper going on, something he wasn’t aware of. He’s deep in thought, you can tell by the way his eyebrows furrow, visibly displeased at the new revelation and that makes you so giddy you have to stop yourself from giggling by hiding your face in Jisung’s shoulder.

He knows what you’re doing and responds accordingly, pulling you flush against him and that’s when Minho snaps out of it, both eyebrows shooting up in brief surprise. Quickly discarding his apron, your brother turns to walk back into the apartment and that’s when you two share a conspiratorial grin.

However, Minho isn’t one to back down easily. “Fine, give me ten minutes then the three of us can go and do something fun together.”

Wait, what? You weren’t expecting that, and Jisung can tell by the look of horror that crosses your face as you pull away, panicking.

“The three of us?” Jisung questions, not shaken at all. “It’s Saturday, Min. You have dance practice with Yongbok and Hyunjin, remember?”

Minho stops in his tracks, pausing for a moment as he seems to remember his schedule and groans loudly, annoyed at the whole situation. Your face lights up and Jisung squeezes your shoulder reassuringly with a smile.

Bless his weird attachment to your brother and his elephant memory.

Turning around, all three cats scramble to him and you understand why the moment your eyes meet his, cold with no hint of amusement left in them. Minho might’ve been immune to your childish acts but in your case, even a narrow gaze from him made you stand straighter, slightly terrified. In those instances, you were left feeling like the bullies that dared bother you as a child, the ones he took care of one by one – frozen in fear.

That makes your brother sound like some sort of child gangster but truth be told, Minho is scary now and was even scarier back then. Or that’s what your undeveloped mind was fooled into believing back then, since his anger was never directed towards you, ever.

Seeing their brother beat a middle schooler with a stick would do that to any child.

One thing that’s never changed since then, however, was the fact that no matter how scary Minho appeared on the outside, you were never truly afraid of him. Because you knew, even from a young age, that he would never hurt you. On the contrary, he’s always been a little too protective of you, coddling and spoiling you rotten.

Still, that didn’t mean Minho didn’t know how to make you question and regret all of your life decisions with a single look. He’s mastered the warning gaze from your parents at a young age and the feelings it awakened in you never changed. Discomfort with a side of good old shame.

“Hm, lucky you, right?”

You don’t respond, looking away as your whole face warms at the hidden implication. Stupid brother with his stupid mouth and his stupid mind games.

Jisung’s arm around your shoulders comforts you silently and Minho notices, eyes flying straight to the unusual display of affection.

“Have fun,” and suddenly, he smiles innocently like nothing even happened, “but if you’re not home by the time I return from practice you’re sleeping outside with the dog.”

If you had any doubts Minho couldn’t tell what you were doing, they all went out the window in a split second.

You frown, not falling for his evil ploys. “We don’t have a dog.”

“No, but Jisung does.” Jisung snorts next to you and your glare finds a new target as you elbow his side, Minho’s smile widening. “I’m sure Bbama will love to have a sleepover with you.”

He then turns around to continue on his merry way, humming as the cats follow him like he’s their leader or something, the one that carries all the answers they’ve been looking for. Traitors, furry little traitors, all of them.

But then, as you glare at his retreating back, it hits you.

You were supposed to have the upper hand! He’s going to be the one sleeping outside with the dog, not you!

And so, you’re on his trail in a second, the cats all running away from the scene. “How dare you speak to me like this?! You little bitch, come back here! “

That morning, Han Jisung is once again subjected to one of your arguments, against his will as always. The only good thing is that after all these years, he’s gotten so used to them that when you and Minho come into the living room still bickering, he’s fast asleep on the couch with all of the cats on him.

By the time you’re done getting ready for the day and leave the house with Jisung, your mood is already ruined. All thanks to Minho, a normal occurrence lately.

Getting out of his car with a huff, Jisung follows before quickly locking it and catching up with you. His arm finds solace around your shoulders again and without meaning to, you slow down to accommodate him.

“Where are we going?” you ask, looking straight ahead as you continue leading him like you know exactly where. A girl’s wrath is capable of amazing things.

He smiles, amusement with a very obvious hint of fondness clear in his voice. “You started walking away without me despite not even knowing where we are?”

You shrug, already becoming used to the weight of his arm around you. It’s pleasant and warm, lulling the butterflies to sleep as you begin relaxing in his presence. You’d never thought this would happen, not after being so nervous and excited around him for so many years because of your bottled-up feelings.

A welcomed development if you said so yourself. Finally, you managed to calm the fuck down and act normal in front of the guy you liked.

Wonder how long that will last.

“This way.” He gently steers you both in the right direction and your destination becomes clear.

“The arcade?” There’s a hint of excitement in your voice and Jisung’s face lights up, elated to finally see you happy. “I haven’t been here in years! I love this place!”

He’s beaming, grinning from ear to ear as he looks down at you. “Yeah? Me too! Your brother and I used to come here all the time back in high school.”

You know this. After all, that’s the reason you used to drag Felix here after school almost every day, just to get a glimpse of the cool senior your brother spent most of his time with. But with time, this became one of your and Felix’s favourite places thanks to the memories you made together and you often looked back fondly on those times. Skipping class has never been as fun since.

Even though you still skip class together now, in college, you aren’t as attached to the hip as you were back then because of your clashing schedules so, it’s not the same.

Excited to go in and play some games, you almost miss Changbin at the entrance.

“Look who decided to finally show up!” His loud voice disturbs your pink and peaceful bubble full of memories of high schooler Felix and you can’t help but sigh, already missing your daydreams.

“What took you so long?” He continues, all his annoyance directed at Jisung. It’s all an act because Changbin could never be upset at him, especially since when your eyes meet, he smiles. He’s surrounded by seven other people you don’t recognize, who wave and greet you politely once your gaze moves to them.

Guess Chan was busy.

A small part of you feels a bit disappointed by their presence. Even though you were aware this wouldn’t be a date per se, you were still looking forward to spending some quality time with him alone, wanting to peel back all of the layers and see who exactly was hiding behind the many masks he liked to show off. Maybe another time.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jisung runs a hand through his silky hair, not sorry at all, “Minho was being difficult.”

“You mean, a pain in the ass like always.” You mutter bitterly.

That gets a loud laugh out of Changbin, and the others follow suit, just not as flamboyant. Do all the members of 3racha run their own little cults on the side? Surely Chris wouldn’t…right? Right?!

He grins and changes the subject, though you sense there’s more he’d like to add to your comment. “We’re all here so let’s have some fun, yeah?”

Everyone cheers and you can’t help but giggle, joining them before making your way inside.

Where you expected loud chatter and laughter was only the music from the speakers playing in the background, accompanied by the bright neon lights from all the game machines. The place was empty, creepily so, and you gravitated towards Jisung for support, hiding behind him in what you hoped was a subtle enough way.

Changbin and the others run wild, like children, the moment they step in, not finding anything wrong with the deserted place. Noticing your presence, Jisung turns around with a laugh, gently grasping both of your hands.

“Sorry, pretty, I should’ve mentioned it sooner.” He says, drawing comforting patterns on your knuckles. “Changbin and I rented out the whole place for the day, that’s why it looks like something straight out of a horror movie.”

Oh, right. They were rich and famous or whatever.

You nod, visibly relaxing with the help of his comforting touch and go on ahead to discuss your plan for the day.

In the end, you settle on a pretty simple one.

Take a few pictures of each other, think of some clever captions and post them, hoping everyone (your brother) believes you’re currently on the best date of your life. Who else’s date would rent out a whole arcade for them to spend time together in peace, getting to be as lovey-dovey as they want? No ones.

Too bad Jisung wasn’t actually your date either. You were mourning that thought every day.

Once satisfied with all the posts, Jisung gets pulled away by some of the others, people you’ve learnt are part of their crew, laughing loudly as they cheer him on at a game of basketball. You’re left alone at a table somewhere a bit further away from all the fun, making yourself busy with the drink and snacks he bought to make this whole date even more believable.

Naturally, your thoughts fly to your high school days and all the time you used to spend in this very same arcade back then. Jisung has already revealed the reason he picked this place but a part of you fooled itself into believing he did it for you too, that he knew what it meant to you.

But this was Han Jisung after all, so he probably didn’t. It’s not like you could blame him either – in some aspects, you were as much of a stranger to him as he was to you since you’ve never had the chance to get to know each other on a deeper level.

Isn’t it strange? How you can know a person for most of your life but also know next to nothing about them?

“Having fun?”

Changbin’s presence snaps you out of it as he takes Jisung’s previous seat across from you, smiling brightly. “I sure hope so, Jisung did all of this for you, after all.”

“What?”

Your eyes widen comically, not believing Changbin’s words at all which causes him to laugh in response, picking up his friend’s discarded drink.

“Didn’t he tell you?” He’s still smiling, messing with one of his bracelets that came undone. “Damn, he has no game at all, huh? No wonder he’s been single since high school.”

Your whole world is spinning and you can’t help feeling like you’re being pranked right now. Jisung couldn’t have done this for you! You’re his best friend’s annoying little sister, why would he even want to do something for you?

Though, now that you think about it, he gave in easily after your argument, agreeing to help you get back at Minho with minimal complaints. But why? Does he see it as some sort of duty to protect you and make sure you’re happy all the time like he once did when you were teenagers? Is he looking out for you, wanting to keep an eye out in case you do something stupid?

Wait, what if somehow, this whole thing has been orchestrated by Minho and you’ve fallen into his trap, playing his game? No way! Has your stupid brother been behind this all of this time? Is Jisung just a pawn, moving according to his orders?

Oh my god, what if –

“Y/n?” Changbin moves some hair out of your eyes gently, looking at you with slight concern. “You good?”

You shake your head, chasing away all of the irrational thoughts before nodding at his question. Sure, if being annoying was a competition, both Jisung and Minho would somehow share first place, winning every time. But, neither of these menaces would do something like this right? Play with your head and feelings in the most cruel way imaginable.

There was no way; that’s what you chose to believe to stop your brain from going into overdrive. Felix would beat their asses, after all, defending your honour until the end. Yeah, that sounds better.

“Why would Jisung go through all this trouble for me?” You finally ask, and Changbin lets out a relieved sigh at the sound of your voice. Were you really that out of it that he started worrying? Cute.

“Why not?” He plops a fry in his mouth before extending his arm and asking you to fix his bracelet, tired of struggling. “You’re his best friend’s sister. He likes making you smile.”

Your jaw drops, and so does the bracelet, the sound deafening to your overwhelmed mind. Jisung…likes seeing you smile. Since when?!

Across from you, Changbin frowns. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”

Your brows furrow, and he can read the confusion on your tense features. “I just don’t…understand.”

“It’s simple, Y/n. Seeing you happy, makes him happy. Why do you think he teases and flirts with you all the time? Your laugh makes him act like an excited puppy, living to please his owner.”

You’re not buying it. “He acts like that with everyone, even with Minho!”

“Well, he isn’t renting out arcades for everyone, now, is he?” The smile returns to his lips once you finish fixing the bracelet, eyes crinkling at the corners. “And especially not for Minho.”

“He said you rented it together!”

Now, Changbin is the confused one, blinking at you for a moment before standing up abruptly. “Han Jisung!“

“No, don’t!” You stand up as well, setting a hand on his toned bicep, panicking. “Please don’t call him back here.”

Seeing the look on your face, he nods, most likely understanding that all of this new information is currently overwhelming. What he doesn’t understand, however, is why did Jisung lie? But that’s something he’d have to ask him later when you aren’t here.

“Do you want to come play with me? There’s this one game I can never win, no matter what strategy I choose to go with.”

And that’s how Changbin manages to calm you down once again, making you forget all about your previous conversation. Not that you weren’t curious about Jisung’s motives, it’s just that your feelings got the better of you and suddenly, your heart was beating a bit too fast and your delusions almost took over. And you couldn’t have that, not when you were finally spending time with the guy that’s been off limits for years.

Okay, maybe spending time is a bit of an exaggeration since he pretty much abandoned you, but hey, at least your followers were jealous, right? A win is a win.

At some point, Changbin is also dragged away and you’re left alone trying to kill all the zombies and save the world, a task that proves to be a bit more difficult than you remembered. If only Felix was here with you, then every pixelated person would be safe and sound and you’d get to bask in all of his glory.

Thankfully, you’re not alone for long.

After a while, two strong arms wrap around your waist from behind startling you momentarily until the familiar and comforting scent reaches your nose and you relax, relieved.

“Hi, baby.” The embrace along with his soothing, low voice make you feel like you’re floating on a fluffy cloud, very tranquil. You’ve wondered how he’d feel wrapped around you dressed like this, comfy in his white hoodie and pants, since this morning when he appeared at your front door. You have to admit - for once, reality was better than the daydream.

“What are you playing?” He continues, resting his chin on your shoulder to look at the screen in front.

You shake your head, trying to ignore the shiver that runs down your spine as his breath keeps hitting your cheek. “Nothing, because I’m losing. Felix was always better than me at this game.”

He hums lightly, looking at the toy gun in your hands. Without a word, his arms detangle from around your waist to move upwards, warm hands falling over yours gently. Your head turns slightly to the side to look at him and that’s when you realize how close he is, actually stealing your breath away. The proximity isn’t intoxicating as usual but instead, warm and fuzzy, so intimate it has you falling for him all over again.

You can’t help but wonder if he feels it too, how natural it is to hold each other like this. His breathing is steady and not ragged like it was that night before his performance, calm and content as he maintains eye contact. His pupils aren’t blown, and the emotion behind them is one you can’t recognize. An emotion usually well-known to you but completely foreign in his eyes.

“I’m sure together we can change that.”

There’s no hint of tobacco or weed in his breath and that, for some strange reason, makes you very happy. Maybe because he finally resembles the person you fell for so long ago, or maybe the person you made him out to be in your head. Who was Han Jisung, after all? You really didn’t know anymore, but you’d like to find out again.

Either way, the swarm of butterflies in your stomach go berserk as his hold on you tightens and he raises the gun, eyes flickering between you and the screen.

“Shall we?” He doesn’t need to ask you twice.

Breaking the embrace for just a moment to put in another coin, you return in his arms again once the game starts and as promised, he helps you. It’s a silly zombie game but you’re both having the time of your lives, laughing away as he does all the work and shoots everything in sight. It’s fun, freeing, and you wish this moment would never end as his genuine laugh makes your heart grow inch by inch with every minute that passes.

You’re having so much fun together that time flies in a blink of an eye and suddenly, you’ve played like five rounds of the same game.

When the ‘victory’ screen appears, Jisung puts the toy down and steps back, only to pull you in another hug as you turn around, happiness written across both of your faces.

Letting go, your back is to the machine as he runs his hands through honey-blonde hair, still smiling brightly.

“I bet even Yongbok would be jealous of this score.”

You laugh, nodding, your happiness so contagious it has him chuckling as well. “You guys should play together sometimes. You’d make an unstoppable team.”

His smile drops instantly as he rolls his eyes, all in good fun, and you can’t help but reach out to pinch his full cheeks which makes him pout cutely. The sight pulls at your heartstrings and causes your pulse to pick up, not letting go of his cheek. He looks adorable like this, from his bare face to his comfy outfit, without the furrow between his eyebrows that seems to be a constant in his life.

His lips look very plush, and your mind flies far away with thoughts about melting against them in a much-needed kiss. You wonder what it’d feel like, what he’d taste like all sober and relaxed like this, and you’re once again reminded of that night a few days ago when you almost found out.

“No thanks,” he shakes his head, still pouting and your hand falls on his shoulder, “I’d rather spend my free time with you, sweetheart.”

Warmth rushes to your cheeks but you do your best to ignore it, briefly avoiding his gaze. “I bet you tell that to all the girls.”

That’s when he steps closer, almost pinning you to the machine as his arms circle your waist again, chest to chest. He licks his lips and your eyes zone in on them, all wet and oh so inviting, shamelessly staring. Jisung notices and leans forward, for once not smirking or acting all smug, putting a strand of hair behind your ear and taking the opportunity to cup your cheek after, bringing your face even closer to his.

“Maybe,” He admits, not missing a beat and you’re the one rolling your eyes now, “but this is the first time I mean it.”

Your heart thumps loudly in your chest and in fear of him hearing, you make to pull away but are surprised when he doesn’t let you, instead squishing your cheeks together with both of his hands. In the absence of his rings, they’re warm and soft, just like he is being right now.

“Very smooth, Ji.” You finally come up with a reply, voice quieter than before and speech slightly unclear. “Careful though, I might actually believe you.”

But he understands you, of course. “Maybe you should.”

His doe eyes drop to your mouth for a moment, lingering there as he lets go of one side of your face to trace your bottom lip with his thumb. Pulling it down lightly, he then moves to the top one, pushing against it like one would on a pillow to test its quality. Without even thinking about it, they pucker and you kiss his fingertip and that’s the moment his eyes darken completely, the stars in them disappearing instantly.

Inhaling sharply, he continues with a bit of difficulty. “You know I’m no liar.” Then his hands drop before he moves to cradle the back of your head tenderly, bumping your nose with his.

A nervous chuckle bubbles out of you, suddenly feeling breathless. “Yes, you are.”

Jisung laughs, the sound so low and devoid of any amusement that it sends a shiver down your spine, your own hands planting themselves on his chest as your brain decides between pushing him away and pulling him closer, finally closing this annoying distance.

“Yes, I am.” He admits a little too easily and suddenly, your conversation with Changbin comes rushing back.

You want to ask him about it, the curiosity eating away at your every thought until you’re a blabbering mess. But, you can’t. The words seem to remain stuck in your throat every time you want to bring it up, making you incapable of doing so.

So, you stop fighting it and like every normal person caught in the moment, let yourself melt in his embrace.

Time stops and your eyes flutter shut, arms moving up his body to wrap around his neck and pull him flush against you. Everything and everyone vanishes and it’s just you, him and the purple and pink neon lights that still managed to somehow blind you even in darkness.

His lips finally touch yours but for some reason, he doesn’t start kissing you and your eyes snap open in disappointment just to find him already staring back.

“If Minho were to see us like this…” he trails off when you frown, one of your hands going to fist the material of his hoodie to coax him forward. “We’d never hear the end of it.”

You whine, doing everything in your power to remain sane as the hand at the back of your neck tangles into your hair and pulls you back slightly, still keeping your lips connected but heads farther apart.

“Are you seriously thinking about Minho as we’re about to kiss?” you ask against his lips, voice regaining its strength. “What the fuck, Ji?”

He chuckles darkly, his hold on your hair tightening in a very pleasant way. “I’m just reminding you about the consequences, sweetheart. Games are fun until they aren’t.”

“Fuck the consequences.” You plead and the desperation in your voice makes him push you further into the cold machine. “Forget about Minho and kiss me, please.”

Releasing his hoodie, your nails find his nape and you feel him shiver at the contact, lips parting without a sound once you move to scratch at the shorter hair there. It’s clear as day he wants this as much as you do; why does he continue to torture you both?

“Please, Jisung.”

That seems to be the right thing to say because he groans, frustrated and lets his head fall in the crock of your neck, latching onto the smooth skin.

“Fuck, baby.” He says after planting a few, soft kisses there. “Every time we end up like this, our first kiss replays in my head over and over again until I’m dizzy. Do you remember? You’ve always said my name so prettily, baby, it drives me fucking insane.”

How could you ever forget? Nobody has ever kissed you like that ever since. It was the main reason you became so enamoured with him back in high school, after all, the reason –

“Wow, get a room, you two.”

Both of your heads snap in the direction of the voice, glaring at the intruder that just ruined the long-awaited moment. As Changbin’s face comes into view once Jisung steps away reluctantly, you almost let out a scream, frustrated out of your mind. And horny. Frustrated and horny and pissed out of your mind.

Changbin just lost his place as your favourite 3racha member. He’s now in the cockblocker category with Minho.

“Bin, respectfully, what the fuck?” For once, Jisung voices his frustration as he fixes his hoodie and dishevelled hair, snapping at his friend.

Putting his hands up, Changbin takes a step back. “Hey, you didn’t give me any heads up about wanting to fuck Minho’s little sister today!”

Both you and Jisung look away in opposite directions, not being able to meet Changbin’s accusing gaze. You’re surprised to see him just as embarrassed as you are since he’s always exuding an infuriating amount of confidence that has almost every person he meets falling to his feet.

This side of Jisung was a new one. Yet another thing you didn’t know about him.

Well, at least it was cute.

Not having any sort of filter whatsoever, Changbin continues despite your discomfort. “You usually let me know about those things in advance!”

That’s when you turn to look at him, trying your best to not show the fact that your heart just dropped all the way to your stomach, the new information making you sick. Not new, since you knew he slept around, just…uncomfortable. This is one of those things you are aware of but can’t hear out loud, don’t want to as a means to keep your heart intact and pain to a minimum.

One of those things both Minho and Felix have warned you about, which you ignored each time.

When Jisung doesn’t meet your eyes, you shake your head and hurry to leave the uncomfortable situation, keeping your head down and emotions in check.

“Yeah, uh, I didn’t sign up for this conversation so I’ll just leave you alone.”

So, you leave, not stopping once even as Changbin starts calling your name and yells about some pictures, going to the bathroom to pull yourself together. Hopefully, some cold water will do the trick, cooling your heated skin and thumping heart, maybe even stop this uncomfortable feeling in your gut.

You should have never fallen for Han Jisung, not so hard at least.

Quite the revelation to have at 4 in the afternoon, if you say so yourself. 

The outing ends without any other major events and after that, you and Jisung steer clear of each other for a while. The texts stop and since you’re in different departments and majors, you don’t see him around campus either. The aftermath of what happened at the arcade, in front of the stupid zombie game is hitting you a bit harder than usual as all of your dreams end up being about him, his fluffy clothes and plush lips that you were once again deprived of. But then you also remember his hand in your hair, pulling at the strands and his bruising hold on your hip and suddenly, those dreams are anything but innocent.

You’re dizzy and out of it for a few days every time you remember that moment, but after a while, you finally return to normal (somewhat). The feeling of his hands on you still lingers, but mostly when you’re alone at night and scrolling through all the pictures you, him or Changbin have taken that day.

He looks happy in them, and if you didn’t know it was all an act, you’d actually believe he was just a normal guy enamoured with his sweetheart. You both look happy, playing the part a little too well and that’s what keeps messing with your head. No, not the staged photos when you were all camera-ready but the ones Changbin took when neither of you was aware of his presence.

Before interrupting, he had the bright idea to take out his phone and capture several moments between you, claiming you both looked too cosy and comfortable to miss out on it. And you were, it was obvious even from behind. Holding and caressing each other in the most natural way, like you were long-time lovers and not just two people who will never be together.

Neither of you ended up posting those, nor did you mention them on the way home, the drive being painfully silent. You did, however, make one of these pictures your home screen, your favourite one out of the bunch. In it, Jisung was hugging you from behind, not yet preoccupied with the game, giving you his undivided attention and affection.

It was cute, yet every time you unlocked your phone and stared at it, another part of your heart shrivelled up and died quietly, leaving behind this unexplainable feeling of emptiness. But as much as it hurt, knowing Jisung will never be yours even with Miho’s promise out of the way, you could not delete those pictures.

Maybe you were a masochist, all these years pinning after him leaving you a little messed up.

Or maybe you’ve finally lost your mind after living with your stupid brother for so long.

Yeah, that sounds better. It’s all Minho’s fault. All of your life problems are Minho’s fault, he’s the worst.

Almost another week passes before you hear from Han Jisung again. But, surprise, surprise, he doesn’t come and talk to you in person.

“Hey, guys!” Changbin plops down between you and Felix one day at lunch, surprising everyone with his presence. “What’s new?”

Jeongin looks at him, startled out of his mind. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Seungmin nods. “Yeah, you don’t even go here.”

You and Felix also share a look full of suspicion behind his back, silently asking each other the same thing. His sudden appearance gets a few gasps and causes a small commotion at the tables nearby but as always, Changbin doesn’t pay them any attention. A man on a mission never gets distracted.

“Boo, you whores!” He shoots them a look full of fake annoyance, but all it does is cause laughter at your little table. Satisfied, he grins and turns to you. “I’m having a party this weekend and I was wondering if you’re free?”

A party at Changbin’s place usually means a whole lot of trouble. There’s alcohol, weed, dancers, small celebrities and pretty much everything you could ever imagine. It’s like one of those 2000s’ MTV house parties you used to watch on TV as a child. His ‘humble abode’ becomes a full-on music festival which automatically makes it a 3racha party. And if it’s a 3racha party, that means Jisung will be there. And if Jisung is there, your heart will burst.

So, yeah, maybe you’ll pass this one, even if you’re aching to see him again.

“You too, Yongbok.”

“I’d rather eat glass, thanks.”

Changbin laughs, slapping his back playfully, clearly not taking Felix’s words seriously. But you know better, so you frown, flicking his nose to show his rude behaviour wasn’t appreciated in the slightest.

With a sigh, you respond. “I don’t really feel like partying, Bin.”

“Minho will be there.” He says nonchalantly, stealing one of Felix’s fries and getting another glare from the man.

“We’ll be there!”

Satisfied, he sends a wink your way before standing up and bidding goodbye, not lingering in the cafeteria for longer than necessary. Did he come all this way here just to invite you to a party he could’ve texted about? What was he planning?

Taking another sip of his strawberry milk, Seungmin meets your gaze head-on. “Since when do you speak for all of us?”

Felix nods, also turning to look at you from his seat at your side.

“What? I single handedly ended your miserable weekends. The least you can do is be nice about it!”

They both roll their eyes at the same time, before Seungmin stands up, grumbling under his breath about his plan to take over the world, most likely. He instead settles for getting another piece of pie, for now.

As expected, Jeongin is on your side. “Come on, a party at a rich guy’s house won’t kill you.” He tells Felix, whose mood soured significantly since Changbin showed up.

Grumpy Felix shows up only two times a year when certain people have the audacity to start sprouting nonsense in his presence. That’s it. So, seeing him so blue about the whole thing really isn’t sitting right with you.

Bumping his shoulder with yours, he doesn’t even bother to look up from his food this time.

Confused, you ask. “Lix, why do you keep acting like this? Are you going through puberty again?”

That gets a laugh out of Jeongin whose platinum blonde hair bounces along with his joy. Felix doesn’t share the same sentiment and for a brief moment, your heart squeezes painfully in your chest at his lack of reaction.

“Can I live?” He raises an eyebrow, purposely making his voice even deeper than it naturally is to get you to back off, all in good fun, of course.

You grin and bat your eyelashes at him, getting all up in his face. “Nope.”

And without any sort of warning, your nimble fingers find his sides and you change tactics, wanting to make him laugh at all costs. It works in an instant and the sound of Felix’s much higher laugh brings a smile to both yours and Jeongin’s faces as you tickle him, taking him by complete surprise.

But as expected, his retaliation doesn’t take long to come and in a blink of an eye, the roles are reversed and suddenly, you’re the one struggling to breathe as he begins tickling you mercilessly. He overpowers you easily, and you almost fall out of your chair with laughter but his quick reflexes catch you quickly, holding you up by the waist with one arm while continuing his attack with the other.

One thing about Felix is that he’ll always catch you, no matter how dangerous the fall. Always.

You’re finally saved when Seungmin returns with his pie, accompanied by none other than Hyunjin.

“Hello, friends I haven’t seen since this morning.” He greets everyone, taking a seat beside Jeongin, on his left while Seungmin takes his usual seat on his right. “What’s new?”

“Changbin invited us to a party and Lix doesn’t want to come with me.” You huff once you regain your composure, your sides starting to hurt from all the laughing. Even at the mention of his name, Felix doesn’t budge and acts unbothered, like you aren’t actually talking but his arm remains around your middle, holding you warmly.

Hyunjin’s eyes widen and he gasps dramatically, a little over the top. “No way! Lix said no to you? The world must be ending.”

Seungmin and Felix roll their eyes, the former busy with his dessert while the latter tries to hide his growing smile, secretly enjoying your antics. Of course, he is, Felix can never keep a straight face around you.

Nodding, you lean forward in your seat to be closer to Hyunjin. “Right?!” Then, with a fake sniffle, you continue. “He doesn’t love me anymore.”

Jeongin laughs and shakes his head when Hyunjin nods vigorously, agreeing with your lies. That’s when Felix frowns and hugs you closer, leaning his head against yours as his way of debunking your nonsense.

“Not true.” He mumbles under his breath before hiding his face in your hair. You can’t help but smile at the gesture, taking hold of the hand that’s on his thigh under the table, hoping that after this ridiculous show, you’re putting on he will finally agree to the party. You physically can't be away from him for that long, he has to come with you and the others.

Stealing some of Jeongin’s food, Hyunjin adds. “You know I normally wouldn’t entertain that though but, in this case, I think you might be right, Y/n.”

“Will you two shut up?” Felix groans, lifting his head and glaring at the both of you. “Fine, I’ll go to the stupid party.” Looking straight at you, he then adds. “Happy?”

You cheer and throw your arms around his neck to squeeze him in an embrace, missing the smug smirk that forms on Hyunjin’s plump lips and the warning look Felix sends his way. They communicate with their eyes alone until you pull away and start going on about the party, suddenly excited since all of your friends are coming.

In your haste, you don’t even notice the way Felix scoots a bit farther away from you, thoughts elsewhere.

Then, that same night you get a text that turns your whole world upside down, making the party an event that you must attend at all costs.

[off-limits j.one]: see you this weekend, sweetheart

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