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#talking to him always feels like wellness for my brain somehow. like. we're different people but we think the same way.
apoloniaspiegelgold · 3 months
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All my life I've been told by all kinds of people that they can never really tell what I'm feeling or what's going through my mind because apparently I'm always just hiding everything behind a smile so that I've become rather unreadable. And then he just. Takes one look at me and goes 'Yeah. I know that face, oh here we go again, she's about to unleash her thoughts. She's gonna bash that theory I just showed her so hard. Where's my popcorn?' I hadn't even said anything yet and he was already laughing.
And to be honest. It's quite nice to be known, actually.
#i only went to his office to ask if he wants to join me for lunch he didn't have time and yet i still somehow ended up staying for 1.5 hours#'thanks for the conversation' he said when i left. 'and thanks for keeping me from my work'#as if HE hadn't kept me from lunch when he kept our conversation going on and on with his 'wait i still wanted to show you this'#talking to him always feels like wellness for my brain somehow. like. we're different people but we think the same way.#i don't have to translate my thoughts to be understood he already gets my point before i've even finished my train of thought#every time work tires me out so much that it feels like i can't think straight anymore then i talk to him and suddenly my brain works again#and i like how he calls me out on my nonsense when i lose myself in a contradiction or don't say what i want to say or say what i don't mea#and he lets me go on extensive rants about statistics despite not knowing anything about it and doesn't even complain#he just always says 'i'll pretend i know what that means' and says i should learn it well so he can ask me for my help with it later#recently he came to me right after teaching saying 'you won't believe how much i just messed up. let me show you how i failed'#and then proceeded to recreate the entire situation and his thought process at that moment and i just#there is a very big word running around in my mind that i dare not speak of but maybe one day#i don't even know if he even sees me as much as a friend maybe i'm just some co-worker he likes talking to occasionally you know#what does it mean what does it all mean#ramblings
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podcastenthusiast · 2 years
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Three little drabbles featuring Geralt "Horse Girl" of Rivia and different animals, from Jaskier's POV.
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1. Horse
Jaskier realized it a few weeks into this new witcher-following, song-composing venture. Specifically, when he went to eat the last apple and was told in no uncertain terms that it's for Roach, even though their food rations were running worringly low and they were a day's ride from the next village. Even though he's a fragile human. Even though she could literally just eat grass.
The mare outranked him. She had seniority.
He tried to befriend the horse, with middling success.
He tried to befriend the witcher, too.
At least Roach could be bribed with a carrot or a handful of raisins.
People project a lot of their own feelings onto animals, he supposed. It's a relationship designed to be unequal. As complex or as simple as a person wants it to be.
For a while, he had started to resent her a little, as pathetic as that may sound. That is, until he woke in the middle of the night and overheard a murmured, rather one-sided conversation.
"I worry about him, though," Geralt was saying. "Can't exactly just find a new bard and start calling him Jaskier if something happens, can I."
What?
"Wish he'd shut up sometimes, but... I guess it's been kind of nice having someone around who talks back."
Jaskier's heart felt like it might burst or break. Or both.
"Not that you aren't good company, old girl."
Roach gave a quiet snort.
That was all years ago, now. The horse is different, but still somehow Roach.
He is different, too, but somehow still Jaskier. Still the reliable bard his friend needs him to be.
Now, he watches from his spot by the campfire as Geralt brushes through Roach's mane. The witcher's got drowner brains in his own hair but gods forbid he has a wash before his trusty companion is completely tended to. He's very gentle with her, which is probably why she tolerates it as well as she does. He's heard tales of stablehands losing fingers to routine grooming before.
Jaskier wishes he could write a ballad about this without potentially damaging his fearsome reputation-- the unbreakable bond between a witcher and his horse. The unexpected tenderness of hands made to kill.
He reaches for his quill to jot down a few ideas. Something something the mighty wolf and the wild horse, loyal and brave companions defending their forest home together. Keep it vague enough. Maybe a folktale vibe.
Besides, Jaskier thinks with a touch of bitterness, the wolf's tongue is the real danger. His jaws that snap at anyone foolish enough to get too close, to offer help when he's caught in a trap.
...Maybe he still has some feelings to work through.
The wolf also has a heart he tries so hard to bury. Jaskier can see it. Always has.
"You spoil her rotten, you know," he remarks lightly, plucking on his lute strings. "She eats better than we do."
"It's like sharpening my swords. I have to keep Roach in good condition, or we don't eat at all."
"Mhm. And it's very sweet."
He no longer begrudges Roach her well-earned place at Geralt's side. The witcher had been alone out here for such a long time before he came along, probably will be again after he's dead and buried. Even if Jaskier does wish that he could be the one Geralt trusts with his innermost thoughts and secrets and sleepless night fears, he is glad the man has someone in whom he can confide.
They all have their roles in this story. Perhaps he ought to accept his as its scribe, and let that be enough.
But Jaskier's greatest fault, he knows, is an always has been his refusal to accept things as they are.
-
2. Cat
"Oh, look at that. Someone's cat has gone missing. Poor thing."
"We're here for real work, Jaskier," Geralt says, scanning a contract notice. Recent plague. Graves disturbed. Ghouls. See alderman for details. Bit dull.
"They're offering a reward. See?"
"Somehow I doubt a small child has enough coin to justify ignoring the ghouls."
"Says here you'll get their eternal gratitude and-- oh! The lady of the house will darn your socks free of charge for a full year. Any additional mending at a discount. Now that's a good deal."
"Hm."
"Geralt, as you know my favorite doublet is in a sorry state after that minor werewolf incident--"
"I told you to stay with Roach."
"--All water under the bridge now, of course, and what an adventure! Worthy of a fine ballad--"
"Jaskier."
"--as this would be. Can't you at least keep one keen witchery eye out for the cat?"
"And risk a ghoul catching me off guard? Sure."
"Well, now you're just being silly. Don't tell me you're a dog person. Or are you allergic?"
Geralt sighs, realizing now that only the truth will free him from this conversation.
"Don't mind cats," he mutters. "But they don't like me."
"Sorry, what?"
"Cats don't like me," he repeats. "They start hissing whenever I get too close."
Jaskier's expression is caught somewhere between disbelief and sadness. "Why?"
"I insulted their king. Why do you think? They've got more sense than certain humans, I guess."
It's a veiled remark. Jaskier sees right through it.
"You're not a monster, Geralt," he says, achingly sincere. Then, in a lighter tone, "Does that mean you've never pet a cat before?"
"I don't know. Maybe when I was very young. I can't remember."
Jaskier mercifully drops the subject after a quiet and thoughtful walk back to the village's tavern.
He doesn't fail to notice Geralt buying extra scraps of meat from the innkeeper, or how he sneaks away at night to set them like snares in promising locations near the village. He'd probably say it's for the ghoul contract if asked, but Jaskier knows better.
Even if he didn't, there is really no other explanation for Geralt returning to the inn on the second night, covered in claw marks, carrying a ghoul's severed head in one hand and a bag containing one squirming, hissing feline in the other.
-
3. Spider
"GERALT!"
Every witcher in Kaer Morhen hears the bard's scream, but Geralt reaches the room in moments, his silver sword already drawn.
"Jaskier, what--"
"Kill it!"
The bard is standing on his bed, pointing frantically at something. Geralt follows his panicked gaze and sees--
"Really, Jaskier?" He sighs.
"What are you waiting for? It's a monster! Kill it!"
"No."
"Why not?"
"It's not a monster. Just a spider. Not even poisonous."
"How do you know?"
"I read." Geralt crouches down for a closer look at the spider. "Might look scary but it's harmless. Probably sought shelter from the cold."
"Well, then it can go right back outside."
"Jaskier, be reasonable."
"I am. Either the spider goes or I do."
The witcher looks thoughtful. Says nothing.
"Oh, thanks, Geralt! I feel so loved."
The spider crawls onto Geralt's hand and Jaskier almost screams again, shrinking back even farther. Gods, it has so many legs!
"Pretend it's a kikimora or something," he pleads. "Why won't you kill one little spider for your very dearest old friend in the world?"
"Because kikimoras have no niche. They're invasive, and need to be dealt with to maintain balance in the ecosystem. Spiders aren't like that; they do belong. A monster, fundamentally, is any creature that doesn't."
Jaskier just stares at him, speechless. He's not sure he has ever heard Geralt say that many words all at once.
Geralt's eyes remain on the spider. "Witchers aren't sent out on the Path not knowing why we kill; we're not soldiers."
"I never thought of it like that," Jaskier admits. "That spider's still fucking terrifying, though."
"Hm. I'll take it outside."
"Geralt?"
"Hm?"
"I know what scared, stupid people say about witchers sometimes. But I-- You do belong. You're important. Just want you to know that."
"...Thank you, Jaskier," he says. Then, quieter, "You too."
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citadelsanchez · 2 years
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Could you possibly do a longer comfort oneshot? Rick hears child y/n crying in her bed from a nightmare, and she ends up revealing that she’d been sa’d. He comforts her and talks to her that it wasn’t her fault, but like, how rick would..and he tells her he’ll be back in a second to tuck her in and goes and kills the one who did it? then comes back like nothing happened, tucks her, in, and tells her goodnight
I’m sorry that this is specific- if your uncomfortable with this that is perfectly okay and I understand.
Absolutely, I loved this idea! It's one of my fav that I've written so far, if not the favorite. Enjoy!
~~~~~~~ [TW: SA]
"Whatever, you old man. I am incapable of getting drunk. I wouldn't be talking to you right now if I were" Y/N slurs, jumping onto the bed and holding her arms outstretched.
Rick rolls his eyes quickly. "Yes sweetie, very convincing. You can definitely hold your weight" he responds, patting Y/N on the head.
"Riiiiick come on, I know you hate affection, and people in general and everything nice, but can we just cuddle?" Y/N asks, looking up hopefully.
Rick stands unwavering by the drunken stupor she was in. "No. Y-you need to sleep this off" he responds, pulling the covers over her body now.
She smiled in response, happy to be tucked in and given his attention in some way at least. She knew that deep down she'd changed his brain chemistry a little bit. He actually cared for her and things like this were why he couldn't deny it.
"Goodnight Y/N" he spoke as he looked at her face to see she had already passed out.
He walked slowly out of the room, closing the door behind him. Walking back to his garage, Rick pulled out a few tools to work on one of his unorthodox projects. As he was hammering a switch into his newly made accessory, he heard a faint weeping. Rick paused and looked around, frowning. He pulled out his emotion detecting device and scanned the walls of the house.
Okay, it's not any of the family, or Y/N. Where is the noise coming from?
He rummaged through a box on his shelf until he found a different device. Past Parallel Emotion Detector. It works by keeping track of emotions of those within the house from the past, back to the beginning of their lives. If an emotion one experiences is too strong or overbearing, it alerts the device to go off.
He looked onto the small screen to see a child- a little girl who looked to be about 8. That's not Beth or Summer. Holy shit. It's Y/N, he registered.
Rick shot a portal into the wall and stepped through, where he was met with the young Y/N in real time. She was sobbing frantically, with the blankets clutched up to her chest, sharp and muffled inhales breaking up the tears.
Rick walked very slowly towards her, until she turned to see him and widened her eyes a bit.
"H-hey it's okay, Y/N. What's wrong, why are you upset?" He asks.
"I-I-just, well, it's a lot. How do you know my name?" She questions, looking up at him with a mix of fear and wonder.
Rick bends down now to level with her on the side of the bed and give a weak smile.
"I'm Rick, I'm uh, from the future sweetie. We're-we're really good friends there."
"Oh" she says, still sniffling and uses the blanket to wipe her tears.
She's adorable, he thinks. He'd never tell the current Y/N that, but she has always been so sweet and lovely.
"S-so what's wrong? Why are you crying like this?" He asks again.
She shakes a bit as she stares up at Rick, deciding to trust him since he is gentle with her and seems so familiar to her somehow.
"H-he, my uncle, mom's br-brother, he uh-
Her eyes gloss over again and she struggles to get the words out.
Rick places a hand on the bed, listening intently. "What did he do, darling?"
Tears silently slipped from her eyes again now and she recounted it. "He.. he touched me, you know? An-and it didn't feel nice."
Rick stiffened as he realized the severity of the situation and his eyes blackened. Motherfucker. I had no idea Y/N had been through this, she's never told me.
He awkwardly raised a hand to gently pat Y/N on the head. Comforting has never really been his forte. "U-uh, Y/N I'm- I'm so sorry honey, it's not your fault. He's a piece of s- he's an awful person and you deserve better."
She sniffles quieter now. "Th-thank you. I haven't told momma yet. I-I don't know if-i-if I should."
"You should sweetheart, but not until you're ready. In the meantime, I'll- I'm gonna take care of it. He won't do it a-again, okay?" Rick ruffles her hair a little.
Her lips curve into a smile now as she wipes her eyes. "O-okay Rick. I believe you."
"I'll be right back, I'm gonna come back to-to um tuck you in okay?" Y/N nodded in response.
Satisfied that she'd calmed down now, but full of white rage, Rick stepped away from the bed and plugged a Location radar chip into his ear. When it beeped, he shot a portal open and went through.
There in a worn down recliner, lined on the floor with pizza boxes and take out dinners, was the bastard that did this to Y/N. The pathetic weakling that gets to call himself "family." Not for long.
"What the FUCK?" The man jumped backwards in the chair, too visibly lazy and cowardice to even stand upright from the shock of a stranger suddenly invading his home.
Rick felt his entire body pulse with anger. "You." He got as close to his face as possible before pulling his gun from his lab coat pocket and blasting the trigger.
The scene was left gory and violent, and Rick was satisfied. He whirred his clothing microchip and changed from the blood stained clothes to a fresh set of clean ones.
Stepping back in the portal, he sat down by Y/N's bedside once more. "Hey, he can't h-hurt you ever again now. I made sure of that," he spoke lightly.
Y/N reached for his hand, placing her tiny one on top of it. "Thank you Rick. You're like an alien guardian angel."
This got a laugh out of him, as he brought the blankets over her and made sure she was covered up.
"Goodnight, Y/N. Sleep well."
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callmegaith · 13 days
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your real honest opinion on David's character. GO!
I feel like this implies I've been trolling everyone for the past 6 years about how much I love this silly lil guy. Is there supposed to be a /j at the end of that, anon??
Bestie I would not put this much effort into a troll ever 😭 like do you think I sat there and made a whole comic series for a funny little gag??
In case this is genuine tho:
LONG READ AHEAD
cuz of course. You give me the chance to talk about David and I'll TALK
My real honest opinion on David
Paradise
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Silly funny fella. Goofy as hell. I think you can read David's attitude multiple different ways in Paradise. To some he comes off as just an asshole
To others he's just a kid being a kid
I personally read his character as somewhat sarcastic and spiteful towards Jakob. His smile? Sarcastic. His "it's been a while brother"? Sarcastic. "I hope I'm not the one who died tonight" while knowing full well it ain't him? Sarcastic.
I'll talk about this more later when I talk about Mr. Rabbit!David.
David has the characteristics of most youngest siblings; He's annoying, he's childish, maybe a little spoiled and needy for attention too.
Not to jump ahead in this analysis and all but in Birthday, the box he needs has text on it that reads "hungry ghost", "ghost who is unable to be reborn" or preta. They're often spirits of people who died full of greed and jealousy. In Japanese, a preta is also "a spoiled child" or "brat"
Based on that information I thought maybe David was jealous of Jakob cuz he wanted to be the golden boy, ya know?
Tldr;
Paradise!David is just a funny lil guy who most likely harbors negative feelings towards Jakob who overshadowed him despite not even being there.
Mr. Rabbit
Who David is now. An older more mature David. Something clicked in his brain and he realized 'okay actually we're all fucked. Peace out guys I'm looking out for myself.'
Brown Rabbit:
I feel like he represents the last bit of David's naivety, innocence, and child-like spirit. The white rabbit (David from the future) sees that rabbit get killed from the window. He can no longer deny what's happening. The child within him he used to retreat to when things got bad is dead. There's only the white rabbit now
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I feel like that's also something represented in David's masks
The older he gets, the more devoid of joy he becomes
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He becomes more and more aware of his situation.
As a child, you have the blessing of ignorance. That's why the world feels like a safer more colorful place to you until you grow up and you can no longer protected and shielded from the world.
To me, I think that's where David's trauma comes from. His ageing and how fast he's had to grow up and become a man, despite his attempts to remain a child.
In paradise, it's likely he was still pretty much "fingers in ears going LALALALALA" with his eyes closed tightly.
Brown rabbit is all that remained of his ignorance, and now it's gone, leaving behind only the White Rabbit. The David that knows and acknowledges the cruelty of his life. A ghost of his former self.
Speaking of:
White Rabbit
What are we but the products of our traumas and life experiences.
The white rabbit, David from the future, is on a journey to save his soul and be reborn. Obviously, the goal of all the corrupted souls. There is a soul we know succeeded in that and was, in fact, reborn. And that soul is Elizabeth.
Elizabeth was the collateral damage in a battle she had no hand in. She is probably the most innocent victim in all of this family feud going on, and I think because of that, Jakob allowed her to be reborn.
Something he did not allow David to do. I think it's safe to say Jakob and David do not like each other. Seems like David's plans clash with Jakob's and so he has to be taken out of the picture, and yet, David always seems like he has tricks up his sleeve.
Somehow, David is able to go back in time to save himself. What happens after that? We don't know yet
You could argue that he failed and died in the blue cube memory of Birthday. Or that he is simply still out there rn waiting for his story to be told. Both are true cuz that's the nature of Rusty Lake.
David seems to be on his own grand journey, stuck in his own Paradox, desperate to find a way to he reborn.
The thing that stands out of course is David's corrupted soul, or rather, the many different forms of it:
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This is probably due to there being multiple different David(s) from the paradoxes he's lived through.
But what is the White Rabbit David if the brown rabbit is David's reborn Asura? Is the white rabbit not his Asura too?
Hard to say. We never seen a corrupted soul take form like David's white rabbit one before, and even more than that, one that retains autonomy. After all, David had enough control over himself to write and leave Dale a letter, meaning he is fully aware of what he is doing. Yet he is prone to violence the way regular corrupted souls are.
It's likely the white rabbit is an advanced form of a corrupted soul, probably the last stages before rebirth.
That or.... Well.... It's just a mask. After all, in Paradox, David spoke with a regular human voice over the phone, meaning he was not a corrupted soul.
In that case tho, if he was already reborn... Why did he say he needed to escape his current "hungry ghost" state?
Obviously Paradox is the most unreliable game narratively cuz you're just going through Dale's jumbled up memories. It's likely he's just recalling an actual conversation he had with David on the phone at the time (which still makes no sense cuz that would mean at the time David was still a human. Or it means he's recalling some conversation he had with David at some point in his life, not necessarily Birthday. OR... That's just a memory the machine is feeding him and it never really happened. Point is, paradox can't be used as a fact for anything)
Timeline is fuuuucked when it comes to David's story so uuuh
We don't know where he is now, what actually happened to him, or wtf is going on with him.
What we do take from his whoooole story tho:
Conclusion
(you did it, chat. You made it this far into my rambly post!!)
David is a really cool and very interesting character that might not appear to be so on the surface. You only really get how complex his character is when you think of everything that has happened in the games. He has a story that is either left for us to piece together or is still not yet fully explored.
To me, David is a character born of defiance and rebelliousness, as well as the need for survival and self-preservation. He is someone who has challenged his own fate, knowing damn well he's up against higher powers, but still taking the chance to save his soul. He is resilient, and stubborn, and just won't accept his fate and die. He has challenged his position in the food chain, a rabbit who is meant to be at the bottom, proving that he should not be underestimated. To me, that's worth loving and admiring. AND IM CHEERING HIM ON! GO DAVID! GO! IM SO PROUD OF YOU MY SON!!
And that's my real honest opinion on David
Thank you for reading.
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hee-blee-art · 4 months
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are there any specific ocs your rotating in your brain rn that you wanna talk about ✨👀
yes! always :)
recently I've been thinking a lot about my toyhouse corners guys as I continue working on their comic, especially basil, alfred, foster, and mac :) coincidentally (or not so) they're the four of the cast who do the most yearning and pining and of course I'm very normal about all that (that's a lie they all make me insane). I can't wait to reveal more about them, I could (and will) talk about them for ages (any questions always welcome, I'll try not to spoil anything too big). particularly I've been thinking about basil's past, his complex troubles with getting close to people, and his relationship to whisk, a troubled kitten who he sees a lot of his younger self in and may or may not be fixated on trying to help because he wishes he could somehow reach though time and help himself when he was a kitten in a similar position to her. all in all I am very excited to keep putting those guys in situations (there will be a candyland, a creepy safety village-esque town, and a mirage-like travelling megastore called appleworld in their future).
I've also been thinking (as I often do) about my tragic fantasy gays, sebastian & konstantine. I've been busy enriching their world with lore and planning out their story so I can start (yet another) draft for the first book of the grey circle, and with that comes a lot of thinking about those two, the haunted prince & his begrudgingly valiant knight who knows him better than anyone and yet cannot know him fully because of his unfathomable secret... oh, there's just something so intimate about being doomed by the narrative and bound together, done part by none, not even death <3 they're very enemies to lovers in a "we're on the same side but I can't stand you but I also can't stand to be without you and if anyone messes with you I'll kill them" way, which I can't get enough of myself.
also! the grey circle has lots of characters I haven't posted about nearly as much but are so dear to me and that I oft rotate in my brain, like ilèan & cainiph, who are a very skilled fairy princess with truly profound mommy issues and cain-and-abel vibes with her sister & an adrenaline junkie bounty hunter who is a bit of a hothead and accidently becomes a werewolf :) another mismatched pair that end up needing each other as much as air. and of course, gren & bain, the little mousy halfling-type creatures who are inseparable best friends in love beyond words, a sly bartender & a leisure-loving bard respectively, both incredibly curious and brave beyond credit, setting out to right a wrong and solve an old family mystery. I think about the grey circle very often, it's one of my favourite little worlds to visit in my head & I can't wait until I have something written that allows others to visit as well :)
the last herd of ocs I've been preoccupied with lately are my room & board cast, the characters for a comic idea I have about silly and bizarre sci-fi/fantasy comic about alternate-dimension-faring roommates travelling in a house-turned-spaceship in search of a (the?) holy grail. they're all old ocs of mine (6+ years I think) that I've rebooted a few different times, and returning to them after some years off feels like reconnecting with old friends as cheesy as that sounds. I genuinely missed them, and I'm excited to be messing about with a story for them again, even if it's just for fun. I've especially been thinking about the main(est) character, martin, and how her journey with transness fits into their larger existential and relentlessly silly adventures.
thnks for offering the stage to talk about my ocs! I love talking about them but I'm not always sure anyone wants to hear, but perhaps it's time I curb that mindset and just start putting more out there because it's fun for me :) also! if anyone reads all this, first of all thnk you for indulging me, and second I am genuinely always open to hearing about other people's ocs, whether through ask or dm or whatever! I know it can be intimidating to just reach out of the blue but I really do love talking about people's characters / stories / creations and I am always open to it. maybe I ought to make some more dedicated venue for that sort of thing but yeah casual oc chat is always an option! I hope anyone who sees this has a wonderful day / night :)
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xnchxntmxnt · 2 years
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hiyaa !!
i’d like to request fluff sjsjsjsjsj
i’ve recently got back into hq,, once again<3
so teru pls n ty cause just,, he
anyway if you pls, male/gn reader who gets rejected and basically gets comforted n then realises,, oh shit i like you not this mfer 😦😦 so there’s sobbing and ilys but then a real ily and it’s just all so
aww
anyway !! don’t feel pressured to write ever, have a good day :]]
my b!! forgot to sign off lol,,
yr recent ask was me !! i have returned <3
-🌱
we're gonna pretend i didn't get this ask several months ago ok im sorry
small conversations, smaller confessions
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Character: Terushima Yuuji
Warnings: some kissing at the end, maybe a little cursing?
Notes: i decided to empty out my drafts/inbox and this was the latest thing in my inbox again i am so sorry. thank you @possiblypoe for the help love /p <3
gn!reader!
Reblogs > likes
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It was hard to stay upset when your best friend had ice cream smeared on his nose and was giving you a retelling of a conversation he’d had with his four-year-old brother, while somehow managing to sound exactly like his brother when he mimicked him. 
For the last ten minutes, Terushima had been parading around your room, overdramatically imitating his brother while taking quick breaks to shove more ice cream (from the giant tub, by the way—you were sharing it since he forgot to buy himself anything on your way home) in his mouth. 
The person you’d had a crush on rejected you at school, and since they had, Teru had been right by your side. You had to threaten him to get him to go to class, actually. He was trying to be incredibly supportive, though, and comfort you in any way he could. 
Which lead to him insisting on going to the store, buying a ton of your favorite junk food, and now he was doing everything in his power to make you laugh. Including some rather inappropriate jokes that had him laughing harder than you. 
He sat on your bed, kicking his feet up and putting them on your lap. “How you feeling now?” he asked, taking a rather large scoop of ice cream and putting the whole thing in his mouth. 
You stared at him for a moment. “Worried you're going to get a brain freeze, Yu.”
He shrugged. “Eh, whatever,” he said through a mouthful of ice cream. “Not what I meant. You feeling better about what’s-their-name?”
“A little.” You let out a long sigh before shoving his feet off of you, deciding to lay down. Your pillows were on the other side of him, so you laid your head on his leg. He smiled down at you as you kept talking. “You’ve done a lot for me. Thank you, Yu.”
“Anything for you,” he said, booping the tip of your nose. “Y’know, that person’s kind of a jerk, anyway. I don’t think that would have worked out well for you.”
“Did you hear something or are you saying that to make me feel better?”
“It’s just to make you feel better.” 
You scoff and roll your eyes at him. 
“I’m sorry! I don’t think I’ve heard one person say something bad about them! President Perfect, if you ask me. Maybe a little too perfect.”
The comedic suspicion in his voice made you laugh again. What would you do without him?
Teru was…amazing, really. He was there to comfort you at any given moment, always had something to make you laugh, and had this energy that drew people to him like a magnet. He was always so chipper and, despite sometimes needing someone to reign his shenanigans in, really cared about the people around him and made sure they knew it. 
When you looked up at him again, a content smile stuck on his face as he looked back, something seemed like it clicked in the back of your head. You’d been pining after this person for a few weeks and sure, maybe you liked them, but there was something different about Yuuji. How much of that was years of friendship, and how much of that was something else?
You sat up abruptly, shaking the thought from your mind. You didn’t need to go there right now, what if he didn’t feel the same? What were you saying—you yourself weren’t sure how you felt about him! You needed to get your head straight first and then you could figure out what the hell all this meant. 
“You alright?” he asked, following you by sitting up as well, reaching out a hand to make sure nothing was wrong. 
Quickly, you nodded, jumping up and heading toward your door. “Yeah! I’ll, uh…ill be back in a sec. Feel free to finish off the ice cream.”
He made a weird face but you didn't take the time to look, instead running for the hallway and deciding to lock yourself in the bathroom for a moment. What were you thinking? Years of friendship down the drain because of a fleeting thought? But now you were thinking about it more and—
“Dammit!” you cursed, half-whispered as you slammed your fist on the counter. Now what were you going to do?
A quiet knock sounded from the other side of the door and you heard Yuuji’s voice. “(Y/N)?” he asked. “You good? Thought I heard something fall…”
You sighed and turned, opening the door. He offered an encouraging smile that broke whatever sanity you had left in your mind. 
All the emotional exhaustion finally got to you. Maybe it wasn't a great decision, it was definitely rash, but you grabbed his hand and pulled him a little closer, asking, “would you freak out if I kissed you right now?”
He stared, wide-eyed, but shook his head. Without a second thought to let your sense of reason kick in, you dropped his hand, grabbed him by the collar, and kissed him.
It was fast—much too fast—but you could feel the tension cut through the air and dissipate the closer you got. Expectantly, you looked at him as you pulled away, waiting for one of you to say something. You tried to, but the words didn’t want to come out. 
He spoke up first, barely above a whisper. “I have been waiting to do that for years,” he muttered before leaning in again. This time, he kissed you breathless, one hand gently on your hips and the other holding the side of your face. Your hand dropped from his collar and played with the (quite soft, actually) buzzed hair at the bottom of his head. 
You stayed there for a while, back against the counter, just kissing. Neither of you wanted to pull away from the other, he was more important than air, and apparently, he thought the same. 
After a minute or so of that, he leaned his forehead against yours, smiling against your lips. “You have no idea how much I wanted to do that,” he said, bumping his nose against yours. 
You leaned back quickly, looking him in the eye, expression that of shock. “You what?” you asked, just now processing his earlier words. 
He laughed and laid his head on your shoulder. “I’m sorry, (Y/N), I…I never wanted to say anything, but I’ve had a massive crush on you since…what, probably first year?”
Gently, you smacked the back of his head, asking, “why didn’t you tell me?”
Yuuji picked his head up and kissed your cheek. “I didn’t know you’d feel the same!” he said, mimicking your tone. “Let’s just…skip that part. Less talking, more kissing.”
He paused for a moment to make sure you didn’t want to argue/would be okay with that (always a gentleman) so you closed the gap between you. He was right, talking could wait.
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@emswordss @kodzukoi @animated-moon @duckymcdoorknob @mysterystarz @sirimirihiro @momoewn @otaku-thingz
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commsroom · 11 months
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OHOHOHOH i like this train of thought with car guy eiffel who always has a tiny screwdriver/one of those with interchangeable heads in his pocket eiffel going to engineering and screwing around with spare parts and fixing things when he needs to think eiffel who always has little metal bits and screws that hes messing with on his desk eiffel who makes little metal trinkets for his loved ones. he sits and rambles to hera about engines and different manufacturers and they design the perfect car together with her knowledge of the world and his brain for design and mechanics. im thinking very much kaylee from firefly who never understood people but somehow machines just talk to her and spring to life in her hands. doug eiffel who wanted to go to college for aerospace engineering and work for nasa but never went to college and picked up a job hauling scrap parts to pay for said college degree before he dropped out and ended up working as head mechanic and whose dreams of building space ships were reignited when cutter found him in prison. or, my saddest thought yet, eiffel already planning on building a car with his daughter for her sixteenth birthday before she was taken from him.
idk also brings new life to his relationship with hera as the ship and how no one else on the hephaestus was really fit to do big repairs, but if he had a background in mechanics he could understand her on ANOTHER level that the other crew members dont get
oh gosh, i really don't think he'd be into anything that complex! like - don't get me wrong, eiffel is smarter than people (including himself) give him credit for, but he's a handyman, not an engineer. he is like the model for undiagnosed adhd class clown; he got through high school because he tests remarkably well without ever studying, and that was just enough to keep him from failing on account of all the homework he didn't do. i fully believe that eiffel never went to college, and never intended to. he's unambitious, and i love that about him.
maxwell's got the genius mechanical aptitude, minkowski's got the hard work and dreams of spaceflight... eiffel's passion is radio. when i say he's a car guy, i don't think it's his thing like radio is his thing - he's just a guy with a head full of american pop culture biases, who likes tinkering with stuff, and who lists "monster trucks" as one of the top ten things he misses about earth. like - i feel bad that so much of this is me disagreeing with you, these are just very different things! eiffel's definitely got tools on hand, he keeps one of his tool bags by his bed, he likes building things out of spare parts - canonically, he's got a lot of technical know-how, but it's in a much more practical, hands-on way. i don't think he'd be telling hera about design, much less his own design concepts, as much as he'd be ranking his dream cars. and i do not think functionality factors in as much as "he thinks it's cool" and/or "they used that make and model in a movie that he liked."
and speaking of hera, honestly, like... eiffel's good with his hands! and he can follow her instructions and do repairs if necessary. but the kind of electronics eiffel works with are nowhere near as complex, and i don't think spaceship maintenance comes naturally to him - and it's certainly not something he wants to do!! and while it makes a pretty big difference whether we're talking general station maintenance vs. specifically hera's hardware here, i think the fact that he doesn't know how to navigate this stuff without her input is part of the reason she feels safe with him. he didn't even think about what "optical system" could mean. eiffel couldn't (intentionally) mess with hera's systems even if he wanted to. hera is so used to people who "understand" her in that way taking advantage of her; i think it's reassuring eiffel has no interest in it. he is a people person; hera's just a regular person to him.
but anyway. i think he was looking forward to teaching anne how to drive, and that would be a depressing note to leave this on, so. eiffel could not be an engineer, and i think even the thought of the work that would require would make him break out in hives, but he could be a mechanic, for whatever length of time it'd take him to get fired. and i think that would be hot. put him in another set of coveralls and get him greased up. that's what's really important.
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jounosparticles · 6 months
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HAJDSJD omg im glad we're both brain rotting about this now LMAO okay
i thought about the surgery thing. it was mentioned that tachihara was given less than the others due to his nature as a spy, but im not sure if he can survive or not. if worst comes to worst, im sure he could get the surgery files and have a more private doctor do it. i admit that i haven't thought enough about it, i just kind of assumed tachihara would be fine or somehow find another solution
ALSO YES YES OMG DAZAI AND JOUNO BONDINF!! j feel like the parallels between their pasts would cause some tension at first though. in my mind jouno probably avoids his past like the plague, while dazai embraces it as a part of him or whatever. maybe they intimidate each other at first and then come to realise that they're not threats & actually have a bit in common.
also this doesn't relate to the whole topic but i really desperately want to see tachihara and jouno bond over blindness. like.. as someone that's been losing my vision my whole life, it can be very scary + tachihara's wound was due to a traumatic and severe injury, not just a disease. jouno and tachi seem to be fairly close, from what i barely remember of season 4 and i think this could bring them closer, mafia aside.
also, ranpo and tecchou are very autistic coded. i feel like their autism would clash personally. like in my mind ranpo has very visual stims but tecchou is sensitive to the light. i don't think it'd be a huge deal, they'd just learn to leave each other be when clashes happen.. but i can also see them growing close too.
ALSO YES TECCHOU AND KENJI MENTORSHIP/FRIENDSHIP. tecchou is definitely a big brother figure imo like i think he'd be great at taking care of people. not in huge gestures but in little ways like bringing them stuff that reminds him of them or minor acts of service. and kenji very much seems like a family oriented type of person.
IDK THERES SO MUCH TO THINK ABOIT LIKE?? im going insane this au is ruining me
- 🗡️
oh my god your brain. literally making me so happy i love talking about this!!!
good note on the surgery thing for tachihara!! i didn’t know or didn’t remember hearing that, but it clears it up. possibly there are similar doctors within the mafia as well.
one slightly brutal thought i’ve had before is if something happens to the hunting dogs doctor. they’d be easier to attack than the hunting dogs themself and if they died all of the hunting dogs would slowly have to rot to death. what a vile and awful death to face. ive thought about writing this before but it also makes me a bit sad to think about.
jouno and dazai bonding would be really nice to see. i feel that their senses of morality and justice are vastly different though to the point where becoming close would be hard for the two. with that in mind they could make an interesting combination when it comes to discussing pasts. i fully agree with what you said about jouno hiding the past whereas dazai appreciates his.
and about jouno and tachi i truly hope they do that as well. i have a feeling they’re going to use the vampiric ability to heal his eyes or use yosano but i hope instead they have jouno help him adjust to learning to live without sight. it’s always good to have representation of disabilities in media. i think jouno thinks fondly of tachihara, he addressed him in a friendly manner when they reunited in S4. i would love to see more interactions
I GET YOU with the autism part as well. i feel like they would clash a lot just due to being very different in symptom display. id love to see them talk about how confusing people can be together, i feel that would help them get each other a bit. i glad you see the tetchou autism hc as well!!!
YESSS. kenji and tetchou brothers please!! i love the found family trope. kenji is also just super sweet and probably wouldn’t mind any of the strange things tetchou does.
i love your mind. your ideas are so good!!!!!
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shopcat · 1 year
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elaborate on how people portray steve's parents please!!!! i would like to hear ur thoughts
OH GOD okay i think i have talked about this a little every now and then but i'll stick that specific post i drafted under a cut though because it is 2 o'clock on a tuesday
basically it's like... okay for example. last week a tiktok trended essentially talking about how people made up steve's relationship with his parents being neglectful or abusive (which is true) but the tone being used in the comment section was like inSANE and something i've seen in many different contexts from many different sources it just all highlighted it horribly for a moment there though. but this isn't about that specific tiktok iderc about it. but like people were acting like it was soooo funny so hilarious we love it haha but i eat it up tbh haha i love it when he's abused haha ... ??? like how are people seemingly en masse actually incredibly aware of and able to identify something like that and instead of taking the time to be like actually .. maybe this is weird in a lot of contexts 🤔 they instead just go haha i love it though. like i don't even know... how brains can work like this what is stopping you from attempting to access a voice to your OWN OPINION.. weird. but not the point
on the other side of things at the same time the classic thing that gets said is "haha it's so fucking hilarious he's not neglected it's just made up to make him look sad and give him a tragic back story" why is everything all or nothing with these ANIMALS!!! it's like something can be recognised and it will be a realisation that abuse will be used transparently as a shallow narrative tool to commodify victimhood for .. #fan fiction... but they don't actually like care. because it serves the purpose the author intended (to make people react). which is so fucking depressing like jesus christ. you know it's weird but you "like it anyway" somehow worse imo. like u can always assume someone who depicts something like that could be coming from a personal place of projection or empathy but a comment i've seen before has been like "i love my parents haha we have a good relationship i don't know why i like [abuse] so much" UGH it just skeeves me the fuck out. also u like it cuz u enjoy seeing a character u like experience something hard and then be able to survive it and be comforted and helped... while failing to realise a vast amount of the time it is cheap and dehumanising garbage functionally created to profit off of genuine hardship in people's lives ?! exploitation is content what else is NEW!!!
but then when ppl say it's so "weird" this happens he's not abused that's such a stupid sob story i . can't handle it even MORE. they can see the core of it but lost the compassion to blanket it like why the Fuck do you think it's an appropriate thing to say "how dare people want to relate to a fictional character experiencing things they have" why would you assume every single person is, Like You, happily CONSUMING and eating something like this down to the bone without any care in the world. that abuse victims do not deserve a small amount of comfort or catharsis that people who aren't victims aren't allowed to feel compassion for it that being abused does not make you Used Up and you are able to not only survive but thrive and you as a human being are afforded the RIGHT of happiness + safety. that things like these cannot possibly be the necessary balancing act it's always just literally black and white WHY IS THE WORLD so dark and cold. Maybe because my blinds are closed. that's a metaphor. UGH it just all drives me crazy. i think we know this though.
i don't even think his parents ARE abusive but to i guess throw actual victims under the bus when we're already treated like WELLS of "whump ideas" is such a fucking annoying thing to do. it also drives me crazy when ppl r like he's a rich white cis straight man like boy do i have news about 99% of the entire fucking cast for u <- specifically that they say that cuz they're being like "people r just trying to make him something interesting". abuse is interesting to them btw. also when they bring up jonathan as the Actual Abuse victim to be quite honest i hope jonathan dies in a glue trap right now
anyway basically i don't think exploitation is content and if the only thing you're doing WITH your content is tropeifying serious things like abuse (but this extends into things like disability or mental health or lgbt identity etc) then you're being a dickhead and dressing it up in a very... juvenile way. also i think it's ironic people will go on and on about "complex relationships" and then not actually make them complex because it's just an excuse to paint steve as a poor broken boy who needs to be Saved (by eddie or whatever the fuck honestly it happens with robin too) and as an abuse victim i think it. sucks. even though i do relate to steve and some depictions of it have been ... nice? well-portrayed and nonexploitive. i think it's an interesting read of his character and comes from a solid basis but i will always welcome narrative diversity over the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. mwah.
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the-firebird69 · 2 years
Text
Death of Vance Rodriguez - Wikipedia
Is sporting a heroes job no he's sporting a Scott McCracken look. So it says that he hired Biden to get the mix going and really it's the max who did it but he's got an ego problem and an ID problem and a whole other slew of problems that make some dangerous to me. His nickname was mostly harmless it was also denim and is in blue jeans I was running around doing menial jobs and menial tasks most of the time and I call him Reverend blue jeans because people say as jeans are different and then he's somehow related to me and they check out and they say no he's not he's also a preacher who travels from town to town and tries to kidnap people and girls and kids like some of the reverends who are Satanist did and they're traveling reverence and I grew up with a whole bunch of them who mom and dad were hanging around with and he had youth group and we went to different priests and a lot of them were wearing denim and I'm pretty sure that's what it means and he's the one sending that signal and code it was years ago and they failed but he's still running it now and it fails badly and he does a few things that are different but not many and I can't really say that what I can say is is getting caught at whatever he does because he's sitting here belching it out all over me and he gets nailed. Right here he went out to the park and some people say that he died on purpose and I believe it. And he feels his brain Will survive and he can recuperate his body because he's nuts. And it's saying it now that he can survive it and he did it and I'm a weakling and all the stuff because he's in the insane person not only is he insane, and somehow managed to harm the wife of thrym who's my granddaddy and Thor's granddaddy, but he was exposing the thorium balls as being there and was stating it like once or twice a day and had me say it once or twice a week and he's a boob a charlatan a weakling and an ass and if you took everything over something would happen like it happened he just getting rumped or society would fail just like Tommy F wants. There's no place to go is no secretive place to stash me he has no escape route he's just an ass and some people say that you got information from Tommy F1 scans on those objects that are huge and what my people say is tell me if had scans and we think nobody got to them if you did it would explain his idiotic behavior and his quest to kidnap our son which is really overtaken his whole Force NOW Thor and Freya say that last line
Zues
I'm here too listening to all this garbage coming out of this retard's mouth and he doesn't know anything about it well there's no much about it and it could be a farce fake scans all that other stuff that he says and he wouldn't know it he went ahead and ran some tests that's why he was in the tunnels and scanned and checked the objects and I think she can take the ships but I just kidnapping my husband which is a lie so I looked at it further and he means to kidnap our people and me cuz I was there mocking him and he's been trying the whole time since you're talking and talking thinking is hiding it today my husband said something profound you match the mo of someone trying to grab us and it's someone who's lower level it happens all the time and we grab them and it's always that and you're nothing special by far. He got real pissed off and he left and he meant for people to see it and we said who cares you're pissed off you're a baby so tell me if caught wind of it and he went after him start nailing him I was nailing his people and I mean a lot of them wholesale says you keep rabbiting on me and that's why he hit tons of them and he was hitting him and here comes the idiot from the mailbox harassment he doesn't daily I didn't get anything and we noticed something he is a huge a****** my husband unrelenting. I'm going to write him up and suggest that we can fire him again right now
Hera
What a moron that guys so we're going to start taking more of his businesses and punishment for his attitude and behavior and he can run around and say stuff. We have several companies we're going to take when is Everlast the other is Ryobi and the other is DeWalt whom our son counted on was counted on to make design changes to make it a success in taking these companies we take his personnel and we get the information and we get their data on their computers as well and we get other personnel and using them as bait and more we also get the factories the material and everything that was built and the supply line and the supply chain and where they mine it from each and every time. There are a few other companies that were taking over right now and most of them have to do with construction and there are big firms like perini like perini Turner Suffolk construction we are also in negotiations with Bechtel Kiewit and several other of the firms that were out there at The Big dig the big ones Parsons is one of them and yeah these companies are doing huge projects some of them are covert and they think that they're going to keep doing that without us doing anything because they're stupid Morrison Knutson and cashman are two more and he wants to say it of course and what we do is we take all the equipment from covert projects and we just leave and they show up and they don't know what happened. At one point we said we're going to leave the parrot there so it can ask what happened we just left the voice message so they went to John rima Lord immediately and said you're coming to me and telling me someone stole my company and it was me. They said tell us what the birds doing there or we're finally charges you're always with the bird and he said I don't know it seems someone recorded it according to your earlier statement I said good we'll be back if you're wrong and they didn't come back please sitting there in fear of people who are losing their shirts because of him because he's causing the problem. And they heard it and it came back I said what is it the problem that you're causing since I keep inciting him and someone's taking the stuff and it won't stop I said why won't you stop he says I can't they're not letting me he says I'm instigating him and I'm the one who should be in control and I'm the one instigating him on purpose and they said why would you do that and he said cuz I have Superior AI and he rolled his eyes this is what is that supposed to do and there's nothing it just means I have Superior AI they said good we're going to take you in and they said into where I said into the police station because you're harboring fugitives you're encouraging the enemy they did bring him in and he got arrested he got booked for it and is told not to speak to anyone and bja came down with CIA agents and question him and said you're encouraging the enemy which one and he started listening off and he said why I said you're fired clear your stuff out and I'm going to fire you from all your military posts too you start doing it and they started to have a war and it's still going on.
This is why it's valuable to speak to our son we got that ball rolling and he's also going to prison tonight and it's going to be in there and then out for like 3 days and for Links at a time and they're going to be forcing him to do labor and he's going to be sick and out of shape and the middle of Florida is miserable there's no air there and people get sick and die all the time. It was tired of hearing him it's a forced labor camp and his will go out there and they're going to kill them and get information and this is one of the big things that happens in our lives to free us from this moron. We're also taking over Makita and hole and it's because the product is decent and he keeps ruining it and raising the price I'm going to change it back to the better quality it was and we're going to change the price back to where it was. Also going to improve it a little of course and will improve the price point a little and I'll start selling a lot of it everyone needs it also taking over Fiat and that was begun because the movie and he thought he was going to win and make a ton of cars and he didn't make anything nobody wants to buy them they're too expensive for teeny little car supposed to save gas on and runs just as much gas it's for fools. So we're going to change Fiat and it's going to go to our format without all the fuses. And EMP proof. We're also moving on Porsche and Ferrari and John remillard took them over and we are going to take them over shortly and BMW and Mercedes and we've been doing it slowly but we're speeding it up this guy is too much of an ass till it have anything we're taking over a huge restaurant chains he owns Burger King and he lost it and he's trying to ruin them they're giving them ideas and it's saving them. And we also are taking over some of his Chinese stuff cuz he was making those cheap bikes and nobody buys them anymore so a question of and we're pulling their websites off cuz people call up and order them and they don't get them and they blame us and they're not doing it correctly and purpose but we're doing we're pulling them off let me just say the website's not there so we don't know what you're talking about you get the wrong number and we are also taking over Lincoln automobile and we're keeping the name and we're taking over Oldsmobile they are keeping the name there and there's a couple other oddballs like Chrysler which we started taking over and we sort of fizzled out on but now we're taking it over fully huge companies are falling of his and we're taking them over. There's one giant company that nobody mentions it's now falling to us and everybody thinks it's a joke except our son it's exceller metal and it's the Indian company and it's a huge steel company number two in the world to us steel and he won't be able to process anything to make ships or spaceships or anything because the way we do it and he thinks he will but she won't and he dies and they die fighting over the minds when nobody's there and they're not even going to use the mind cuz they won't be able to hold it. We're taking his shops from Arizona today he's petered out and he's not going to fight over anymore and their hours I'm going to take other shops that are his that we're doing the Hot rod shows and other chopper shops and his chopper factories and it's producing some and that's going to be our custom shop. We're also taking over pharmaceutical companies and biogen Astro it's not Amgen and more their hours now and more much more and putting up obelisk in his areas right now when it's dark out and tonight when it's dark out where they're not back now
Thor Freya
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songmingisthighs · 3 years
Text
Hooked
introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii
ch. lxiii - weeping
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??? × reader, ateez × reader
A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?
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It took Seonghwa a while to work up his courage and knock at your door. True, he was the one who contacted you first but truth to be told, he wasn't thinking when he chatted you up. But he had already said that he was coming so he had to do it.
You called out from inside with a shaky voice, very noticeable to Seonghwa. Before he walked in, he took a deep breath to calm his mind and stabilize himself. When he felt he was ready, he opened the door and peeked in.
"Hi (Y/N)," he greeted. You were sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, initially staring at your bed before snapping your head to look at Seonghwa. From your bed, you forced a smile at him. The use of your name was rather... hurtful but you couldn't complain after what you've done. Yeosang's words kept replaying in your head nonstop
"Hey, Hwa, I'm sorry," you said, your gaze dropped to your intertwined hands on your lap.
Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at you and walked towards your bed after closing the door behind him. He took a seat by your side, rather awkwardly if he had to admit.
"Why are you saying sorry for?" he asked. He had an idea as to why you said sorry. But to him, it wasn't that important at the moment, he was honestly just glad that you were unscathed.
You couldn't look at Seonghwa directly, the shame and fear were eating you alive and it made you uncomfortable. You wanted to tell him how you felt, how sorry you are, and what drove you to wordlessly disappear like you did.
But you don't know how to start.
So you sat silently as tears began to drop from your eyes.
Seeing this, Seonghwa's heart broke and he immediately enveloped you in a hug. "Honey, why are you crying? Did I said something wrong?" he asked as he started to rub your arms, chuckling slightly. You couldn't let any words out, you could only let out pitiful sobs as you bury your face in his chest, your arms slowly wrapped themselves around his slim waist.
Due to the uncomfortable position, Seonghwa slowly leaned back onto the headboard with you so you could be snug in his arms.
As per usual, Seonghwa's arms felt like home, you felt completely protected and cared for. Which was annoying since you were supposed to be at odds with them all.
You both stayed in that position, completely disregarding everything else. As you sobbed, Seonghwa kept rubbing your back soothingly. sure, you both liked the silence and the calmness of the situation. But there were just a lot of things left unsaid and the both of you realized that there were things that you needed to talk about.
"We really do miss you, you know?" Seonghwa said, breaking the silence. You looked up through your tears to see him smiling softly at you. One of his hands reached forward to wipe the tears off your cheeks, "We were really useless without you, you know?" he told you with a pout. You couldn't help but giggle at him, "Yeah? I was miserable too, you know? I couldn't tell any of you guys where I was and I had to hide at Haknyeon's apartment that he shared with his roommates," you told him.
Just as you were about to get comfortable again, Seonghwa pulled you back slightly to look at your face. He had his eyebrows furrowed whilst looking at you with a weird expression.
"You weren't with your parents?" he asked. It was your turn to be confused. You furrowed your eyebrows back at him, "Well, yeah, I couldn't stay at home," you told him.
It was true. You were tormented knowing that Sunhee, Jinhee, and Gaho knew about things going on at the frat. So much so that it made you paranoid.
In the end, you turned to the one person you knew could protect you, your cousin Haknyeon. Sadly, he had recently moved in with three other men in a nearby apartment which his other seven friends were staying on different floors. The plus side was you had sure security and you were never lonely.
"Why couldn't you stay at- did your parents knew that you were staying somewhere else?" he asked.
Confused at the sudden change of tone in his voice, you sat up and turn to face him with crossed legs, "No, they don't know. Why are you making a big deal out of this? It's not like Haknyeon and his friends are bad guys," you tried to reason with him.
But at the mention of 'guys', Seonghwa's eyes bulged out and he immediately sat up straight, "Guys?? His roommates are guys??" he asked in disbelief.
A bad feeling crept up in you and you suddenly felt like you don't wanna say anything anymore. But you know you had to answer him if you don't want the situation to become worse.
"How many people were there?" he asked. His once soft expression turned hard, his jaw clenching and his fists balled up. "There were three roommates in his apartment, so there were five of us," "Was Haknyeon always there with you?" "N-no, there were times when Haknyeon had to go out to deal with things and his roommates stayed behind, at least two of them were always around,"
You were being honest, so you didn't have to feel nervous. But somehow you do. With how Seonghwa was staring at you, your brain was blaring the danger alarm.
As his fists unclench and his gaze faltered to a softer one, you began to relax slightly. Seonghwa let out a sigh as he looked to the side, seemingly thinking about something.
But then something flashed in his eyes, it was as if he made a sudden realization.
"What did you meant by 'three in his apartment'? Why did you have to specify that there were three roommates in HIS apartment?" he pressed.
You swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn't even realize that you said that. With the way he asked the question, you just knew that the conversation was not going to end well.
"What I meant... Was... That... Uh..." your voice turned softer as you tried to think about the perfect way to explain to him. But the intensity of his stare messed your brain up, "Haknyeon's other friends also lived in that apartment on different floors, so sometimes all twelve of us hung out together,"
At the mention of the actual number of guys there, Seonghwa jumped off the bed to stand towering over you with his hands on his waist, "So eleven!? There were eleven men around you in which three were always with you during the night!?" he exclaimed.
"W-well, if you put it like that-"
"How else am I supposed to put it, (Y/N)!? You LEFT us for whatever reason there were only to go to an apartment with more guys?? What the fuck, (Y/N)!?" he spat out.
His insinuation that you were out whoring yourself hurt. It hurt so much.
As you tried to speak, your voice cracked, "Y-you think I re-really went out to other guys?" you asked, obviously brokenhearted at the insinuation.
If Seonghwa realized how much you were hurt because of his words, he definitely didn't show it. He let out an exasperated and sharp sigh as he ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know what to think, okay? But Yeosang made a good point earlier; you DID leave us with no explanation and without telling anyone, and now you told me you were staying with other guys? How am I supposed to think!?"
Tears began to drop from your eyes once again, "Hwa, I was with my cousin," your voice was so small, that you were sure Seonghwa couldn't hear you.
Especially with how emotional he got.
"We're not mere options, (Y/N). The fact that I had to tell you that is just infuriating, you know!? We were worried sick about you, and where were you? Having fun with your cousin and his guy friends," he stopped himself when he felt like he was getting overwhelmed. He took a couple of deep breaths with closed eyes, trying to not blow up. As best as he could at least.
After calming himself down, he spoke up again, "I know we were never official, but we told you we loved you and we were genuine about it. If options were what you were looking for, you're with the wrong guys. You're free to make your own choices, but don't play with someone's feelings if you were never sure to begin with," he said before turning around and leave the room.
Feeling hopeless, you broke down and cried out. Tears streamed down your face like a waterfall as your breath became uneven. Your head pounded from the overwhelming emotion and lack of oxygen that tried to enter your lungs through your pitiful sobs.
You tried your best to not cry too loud by covering your mouth and folding yourself into a fetal position on the bed.
The boys really hated you. They all think you were just playing with them and that you left to pursue something more. You considered Yeosang's and Seonghwa's words, how you didn't even try to communicate with them. For whatever reason you had, you just HAD to make a choice alone. A choice that affected nine people.
Maybe it was best to really leave them.
They deserved someone better than you, someone, who would be able to be there with them and be honest and open. Someone who wouldn't just bring shit to them. That someone could've been you, but maybe you hurt them too much to the point that it was all too late.
So you grab your phone from the nightstand after sitting up to dial a number.
The call connected and the person at the other line picked up almost immediately.
"Hello? Yeah, it's me. I-I know it's late and I-I h-have no right to bother you again after everything, but do you think you can help me?"
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beetsandskzreads · 3 years
Text
silent bright summer night
bang chan x gn!reader, y/n works with skz and became their friend (the ultimate dream haha)
genre: tooth-rotening fluff, slight angst with a happy ending
notes/warnings: nothing intense, this is very fluffy, there's brief mentions of cheating, long distance, y/n's exes, fear of abandonment, slight insecurities, deep talks, reader and chan are slightly wine drunk, y/n and chan are whipped, y/n makes it explicit they want to date someone very warm and caring (aka chan), i don't think that's a warning tho djsjs just saying
scenario: on a balcony, at a beach apartment on a summer night of vacation, y/n opens up to chan about their past and current lovers. what y/n doesn't know is why chan is so interested listening to it.
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It was 1:01 am when chan and I found ourselves in the balcony that overlooked the city and it's bright lights on a summer night. Skz had gone to sleep right after all of us came back from a night out of lots of fun, buying stuff on stores by the beach, having ice cream, seeing the view of the city lights reflecting on the sea water, appreciating street artists...
The two of us had been talking the whole evening, we hung out as a group but mostly just spoke to each other and laughed at the members jokes, both of us having a sparkle in our eye every time we saw the group happy. There was this unspoken pleasantness, a bliss, calmness in the air but with a lot of excitement. Chan was so happy to be around the sea with "the kids" as he refers to them and being at the beach almost 24/7 this week, it was like his natural habitat, his home, a comfort place. It left you feeling even softer for him, and as you shared your love for the sea, your feelings were at a peak. You liked Chan, and you loved this place as much as he did.
The night was so great, everyone was out like a lightweight as soon as we arrived to the vacation apartment we're in. Chan and I were testing the theory that a glass of wine would help us get drowsy and help us fall asleep as well, since we both have trouble falling asleep and felt nothing but a remaining excitement from the night out. It came to me especially because of the enthusiasm of talking to him, we were connecting so well, I didn't want this to ever end.
And so we drank (one glass quickly becoming the whole bottle) and we talked for what felt like hours on end, that neither of us wanted to cease.
- My ex best friend, she never quite knew how to choose guys, she always went for the ones that would never turn her way, the ones who obviously wouldn't care about her, not because of her, but because they were really careless guys, walking red flags. - I told him, I couldn't remember where exactly the conversation started but we were talking about nice people picking shitty people to date.
- What about you? - he asked
- Me? I barely even like guys, I mean I do, but I'm really picky actually, I don't allow myself to fall for cold people, I wouldn't forgive myself if I took interest in someone rude, I try so hard to take care of myself so I either stay alone that way or I find someone who makes me feel better, who knows how to take care of me, after all we chase happiness, I think a caring person could do that, someone gentle who isn't scared of emotions or who at least is open to face that fear with me by their side.
- I get it, it's hard to get by if you don't have emotional support, a partner should be able to provide that support, yeah. Did you ever... find someone like that?
- Yeah, in the past I did and even now I do know someone more than ideal... I guess my ex partners when I was young were going through a soft phase tho... I guess everyone has an emotional limit they were scared to cross... once I found that barrier the relationship stoped evolving, reached a dead end and so there was nothing left for me anymore and I left, plus, you know, cheating, long distance, a bunch of stuff really... it wasn't meant to be and I'm okay with that.
- What about that someone right now?
Silence ruled for about 3 seconds before I knew what to say. That someone right now is him. Ever since I've known him feels like he's the only man ever, but I don't think I'd tell him that, not soon anyways.
- What about 'em?
- What's that person like? What makes you trust they're any different from your exes?
- Sometimes I fear they're not, but I set the bar really high and I reset it constantly, to make sure I'm seeing it right, sometimes they seem so perfect to me that I wonder what good have i done in my past life to deserve to be around such a bright person. Of course they make mistakes too, but even the way they deal with them is so... mature, it's so easy to just solve things communicating, it's insane to me. Then I remember it's probably because they're eventually gonna leave me too, or just not reciprocate my feelings and after they break my heart I'll probably loose all hope in love, be heart broken for two years until I decide I'm gonna focus on myself again... it's a cycle after heartbreak, but with this person I'm really scared, because they mean more. I'm way too deep in before I've even expressed my feelings, it's gonna be devastating. - I'm rambling, the wine made me do it.
- What makes you think they wouldn't like you back tho?
- I'm not sure I just... it would be too good to be true and it's complicated... he's amazing and I'm just not sure if he'd be into me, I mean, I think I'm lovable and I think I'd be a great lover, I just don't know if I'm his type or if he'd consider me. We have a bit of an age gap, I'm not someone who's typically pretty or specially good looking, I have my charms but I have no idea if that's enough for him to be in love. It's complicated with each others work too... - I notice chan's gaze on me, he has his head leaned on his hand on the table and he's looking at me with bright eyes, eyes that look tired and a little drunk but somehow, he manages to look at me in a way that makes me feel adored, I don't know why you have to make me feel so much love, Bang Chan - Why are you looking at me like that?
- You have no idea how other people perceive you, do you? - he ignored your question, probably because of his drunk-ish drowsy state - Everyone I know likes you, see, you're a naturally kind and caring person, you're attentive to people's needs, you make sure everyone feels comfortable around you... that's so appreciated by everyone. I think you're exceptional y/n, you have this charismatic way of existing, a refreshing and comfy presence everyone can feel, but to me... it feels like home. You feel like home y/n. So... I have no idea who that person is but I sure as hell know they'd be more than lucky to have you as a partner and they're definitely dumb if they let you go.
- Are you dumb? - my heart's pounding quicker as I'm about to do something I didn't plan on doing ever.
- Huh? No, why w-
- Because that person is you... I like you, Chan. In a more-than-friends way - I interrupt him quickly before I lose my newly found courage.
Chan could've sworn his heart stopped for a few seconds. Suddenly sobriety hit him like a truck. It was the alcohol that made you say that, he thought, but he wished it was true and you didn't drink enough to be lying about this kind of stuff, you had a full on conversation and you seemed pretty sober.
- Y-y/n are you sober? - he tries to navigate through the situation.
- Oh my... yeah I am, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, it just rolled out of my tongue. I'm sorry... - you said as you panicked and tried to go back inside, regret filling up all your organs.
"I messed up" your brain keeps repeating as desperation starts entering your body, until Chan grabbed your hand, stopping you from leaving.
- Wait! You don't need to apologize, I'm glad you told me... You didn't think I'd say all that about you if I didn't like you as well, did you? - he asks suggestively.
- I don't know - you blush as you realize what he's getting at - You're just so nice to everyone, I didn't make a big deal out of it.
- Well, you should've made it a big deal, the biggest deal actually because I've been trying really hard to show you how I feel these past few days and you were so clueless I thought you were purposefully ignoring the signs because you didn't like me back.
- I'm sorry Channie, I just didn't want to assume stuff and get heartbroken if it wasn't true.
-Well it is true, so you don't need to worry anymore. I really like you too, y/n. And I've wanted to say it for a while too, I was just wondering if it was a good idea since you work with us, but I can't contain my feelings anyways... you always treat me so softly and you look after the kids really well... It just feels like you were made to be by my side, you're the embodiment of the person I've always dreamed to be with, and these past few days with the kids and you... it just felt like we were the perfect family you know? I don't think I could be without you by my side anymore... - he stops, he's been staring at your eyes the whole time and now they're starting to water.
How could you not cry when he's saying the things you thought you'd only ever hear in dreams?
- Why are you crying sweetheart? - he whispered, as he wipes a tear with his thumb, the other hand holding your hand as he stands closer every second.
- It's just... I'm so... happy - you smile through your tears - I'm so happy to hear that, you said it in such a beautiful way too... I feel exactly the same, it's like I've gained a family with you guys but you... I've grown really attached to you, feels like some parts of you are tangled in my heart in ways I couldn't tear apart if I wanted to... I'm drawn to you and when I'm with you it's comfortable, blissful, it's right. You're so good to me, it's unbelievable, but it's true, and it warms my heart. - you say as your foreheads touch and your smile grows, his eyes showing so much adoration for you, you could melt.
Suddenly you share your first kiss together, a soft yet passionate mix of sensations, and it felt like everything you ever felt around Chan but better.
You stare into each other's eyes, smiling like the little lovely goofballs you both were, noses touching, ocasional little pecks filled with giggles because you were whipped for each other.
- So this means we're exclusive lovers now, yeah? - he asks with a blushing face, a very silent giggle and a huge, uncontrollable smile.
- Definitely, yeah - you answer biting your lip until eventually you let out the largest smile you ever had.
Needless to say, you didn't leave that balcony to go to sleep that evening. In fact, you two watched the sunrise kissing and cuddling, talking about the feelings you had for each other, when they started, why you liked each other, covered by a blanket, not wanting to let go of each other now that you were openly romantic.
Han found you both sound asleep, you on chan's lap, head on his neck as his arms wrapped around you gently, on a chair in the middle of the morning. He obviously called all the members to watch you two as they assumed you two finally got together. All of them saw it coming, Chan wouldn't shut up about you and had written what could be an entire album about you.
They were happy at least you'd be around more often to cook your delicious food. And you both blushed really hard once you woke up to lot's of teasing from the kids, it was fine tho, you liked it just like this, it was home.
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antigoneidk · 3 years
Text
can't help falling in love|t.h.
summary: when words can't speak enough, songs will do
pairing: tom holland × reader
words: 2k
a/n: well I think we all fell in love with this Tom right? I mean who wouldn't??? Wish more of that content cause I'm a sucker for him..
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"Over yours tonight?"
"Yes. Bring your guitar too."
"We're about to have fun tonight."
"As we always do!"
And when it was just the two of you, you always had a great time. The chemistry that had been developed between you and Tom was indescribable and everyone seemed jealous of what you have created. It was amazing how much two people can connect, two different souls in such a little period.
You loved your little secret "rendezvous" as you liked to call them. He'd come to your place, or you'd go to his, sip wine and talk for hours and hours about everything. From how the world was created, to how your nail broke, or the way some theories of very famous scientists may be wrong, or how his brothers crashed his car without him knowing, even analyze the way social media work, or begging him to show you videos of the set for his upcoming film. Maybe you'd complain about how early you have to wake up the next day and he'd make fun of you before he realizes that he's going to wake up as early as you. And you'd beg him to stay, or the opposite. 
And after that, you'd grab your guitars and play until you fall asleep on the couch.
He looked so handsome concentrated on not losing any chord, not ruin the melody. His brown eyes focusing on the strings, his fingers following the sound in his mind, his body relaxed, and his ears longing for your voice.
How he adored listening to your angelic voice. He couldn't explain the way his heart melted with the sweet sound of yours, his stomach filling with butterflies, his mind following the heart on this chaotic, exciting, endless road. He didn't know if he was in love or not. It was confusing inside his head. He never knew what falling in love means, the symptoms are different from one person to another. But he was only looking forward to the time he'd have to spend with you, the feeling of enthusiasm getting stronger as the day went by. He knew that you were the only one that could bring the peace he searched for, it was you that brought those feelings that he wanted to see for himself. He admitted once that he wished you'd be more than just his close friend to himself. Yet, the fear of losing you was massive and your presence in his life was more important than his feelings. So the only way was to push them to the side.
You knocked on his doorbell and fixed your guitar on your shoulder while waiting for the door to open. You looked down at your shoes noticing how dirty they got but as you were about to somehow clean them with your hand, you heard the door open and your eyes met his.
"Hi," you said cheerfully leaving the guitar to your side and wrapping your hands around his shoulder. His familiar scent came to your nose, your eyes closing for a moment enjoying his smell, but also the sensation of his arms tightening around your waist.
"Hey, beautiful" he mumbled softly and let go of you. "How are you?" he asked grabbing your guitar and closing the door behind you. 
"Now that I am here I'm so much better" you confessed. "Oh, you didn't wait for me to help"  you complained seeing that everything was already prepared for you.
"Why would I need help?" he asked.
"Because...I am your friend and you don't have to do all of these for me"
"But what happens if I want to do all of these for you?"
You stared back at him without any answer to his question. You tried to read his face, understand if he was joking or not. If he was playing with your feelings or if he was just completely clueless. His puppy eyes nearly convincing your heart that everything was true, your mind shouting to not believe this. It was a battle happening right in front of you, however, you stood still and did nothing.
"I'm pretty sure you do not so stop saying things you don't mean and let's go drink"
____________________
"But she fell in love with him Tom. She was happier than ever. She was willing to be there for him  for the rest of her life, she stood by his side through everything, his madness, his anger, his sadness, his happiness-"
"He was suffering y/n-"
"If he loved her enough-"
"Do you know how is it feel to be stuck on a chair and not move even a single finger? No matter how big your love is for someone, sometimes you're losing the fight" Tom sipped his last drop of wine and looked back at you.
"If we were in this position, would you die just like him? Even if you loved me more than anything?" you questioned.
"I seriously have no idea y/n"
"I'd live for you Tom" normally you wouldn't admit this, the wine gave you the courage though to do so. "If I was William in that stupid chair, I would want to live with you for the rest of eternity" you glanced at him meaning every word you just said. Your love for him was like no other and for sure knew that you were more than willing to move every mountain to be with him forever.
"Stop saying things you don't mean y/n" he copied your words and grabbed your guitar from the floor, unsure if he should play it cool or say something more.
"You are not romantic babe" you played it off resting your hand on the couch and placing your head at the top of it while waiting for Tom to tune the guitar. "Also I was thinking of something today while I was working"
"You were thinking again?" he asked sarcastically.
"You piece of...give me that" you laughed and took the guitar in your hands."So, as I was saying, I was thinking that maybe today you should sing with me"
"Are you drunk?" Tom asked you disagreeing already with the idea you had in mind.
"What?"
"You know that I can't sing and even if it wasn't for that I would never sing with you"
"Why?" it felt kinda offending hearing those words as you didn't know why he felt that way.
"You have the voice of an angel y/n. I'm never gonna sing with you 'cause you'll hear how bad I sound and we don't want this trust me" he pulled his guitar close to him and smiled in your direction.
"I heard you singing before and you sound incredible so cut the excuses and follow me okay?" you didn't wait for any of his complaints. You started playing the song you imagined singing with him all day. The first reason being the fact that it was an easy song to play and sing. The second reason was the lyrics of it.
"Wise men say
Only fools rush in.." you began singing.
"Come on Tom..but I can't help falling in love with you" you continued hearing only whispers.
"Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin... I can't hear you
If I can't help falling in love with you"
Tom gained some courage and started singing louder. He didn't want to be unable to hear you, it was the thing his heart desired. But your expression, your eyes wide open begging him to join you. He could resist to them ever.
And the lyrics.
"Like a river flows
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be.."
You both stared at each other as you kept going. It felt more than just a song, more than just a famous melody. Those were words that none of you had the strength to say, not even dared to try. The fear of loss, the shyness of the last minute. You were saying to yourself that his teasing was just for fun, nothing more. Tom was doing the same. It wasn't complicated at all, but both your minds trapped in this maze, wouldn't detect the way out that was right in front of your eyes.
"Take my hand, 
Take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you..
For I can't help falling in love with you" 
You bit your lip and positioned the guitar to your legs keeping eye contact with him. The silence in the room was comforting, calming.  It definitely could say more than words.
Fuck it.
"I wish I could kiss you right now" Tom whispered under his breath, loud enough for you to listen. It was shocking. You blinked quite a few times doubtfully, assured that this was only a prank. But he was there looking at you, waiting for a reply. You were confused and he saw it too. His palms started sweating and his heartbeat increased in the blink of an eye. The voice inside him would stop yelling 'you screwed it' and his feeling got hurt quickly. He was ready to listen to you making fun of him, the plan that would break his heart in two. But your silence was currently the only thing he didn't want to. He searched for any signal on your face, even your body language but you were standing still as time had stopped.
"Then do it" 
He didn't hesitate for long. He was dreaming after all. Because this wasn't the reality he lived for sure. 
Fireworks, fireworks, fireworks.
He swore he heard them. The moment his lips captured yours he could hear those fireworks in his heart and ears. Bells were ringing and angels singing. Damn, I'm kissing one of them he thought. His right hand touched your neck deepening the kiss he was yearning for. Your lips in sync warm against his skin. His tongue over yours exploring your taste. Your perfume fueling his nose and brain, the butterflies dancing in their music now. 
It was magical. The goosebumps all over your skin making it even more real. Heart about to explode, all of the happiness hitting throughout your body. It was happening and still, it seemed like a fantasy. You slowly touched his chest and moved upwards to his shoulders making sure that you were really touching him and not any of your pillows. The sensation of his lips in yours was so much better than your imagination. Perfectly made for kissing you and only you.
You broke the kiss and the brightest smile he ever saw was on your lips. The lips HE was kissing.
"Y/n you have no idea how bad I wanted this to happen" he touched your forehead and with his thumb started to draw small circles. A tear rolled from your eye and dropped to his hand.
"Why did it take you so long?" you asked and closed your eyes feeling his breath hitting the skin of your face and hands.
"Baby don't cry. Please" he murmured.
"I'm just happy you know. It's no longer a fantasy or a dream. It's real" you admitted with your shaky breaths making your work hard. But you couldn't care less at that moment.
"I was afraid of losing you y/n. What if you didn't feel the same way? How was I supposed to know?"
"You wouldn't lose me okay? I'm feeling the same way Tom" you carefully brought your fingers at the top of his lips and touched them as you dreamed to. "I'm yours. I'll always be yours."
**the movie mentioned was me before you
**the song they were singing was can't help falling in love by Elvis Presley
Thank you for reading❤
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cometcaper · 3 years
Text
I thought I'd share my playlist for the anniversary of the boathouse kiss. :)
Song translations, MANY thoughts, and timeline under the break.
Noise warning for song 19, Hinahanap-Hanap Kita. 4:23 to the end. Loud high pitched beeps.
YouTube music version to be made soon.
Translations for foreign songs:
Ewan [Dunno] — Apo Hiking Society — Filipino/Tagalog
Amour plastique [Plastic love] — Videoclub — French
Panalangin [Prayer] — Apo Hiking Society/Moonstar88 — Filipino/Tagalog
Hinahanap-Hanap Kita [I'm Looking For You] — Rivermaya — Filipino/Tagalog
This is a collaborative playlist made with my friend.
Thought Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy would be a good starter song. Something about the music. Represents a good start of Alec persuing Maurice, like, hey, I can be yours... Whatcha doin'?
I added Puppy Princess because of the chorus but I know some people don't like that song so... You can skip if you'd like. KISS MEEEEE KIISS ME WITH YIIR EYESSS CLOSED . ALL I WANT IS YOU YEAH YOU. TELL ME I'M NOT FUNNY TELL ME I'M LEGIIIIT
Ewan. OH MY GOD this song is so them. Alec cares for Maurice, and doesn't like not being taken seriously or being treated badly and brushed off.
"I don't know why you're like that, you're difficult to talk to and you're a snob" COME ON IS THAT NOT THEM — Just a smile from you, and I'll be in heaven. Please give me a response, anything but "No idea"... What a perfect representation of Alec's continuous persuit of Maurice, always talking, always trying...
I could go on with every lyric.
Edit: I just realised this song fits so well for Alec's letters and meeting at the museum. Must resist the urge to add the same exact track twice.
So about Touch Me... Some of the lyrics apply better in other versions. Spotify just has this version tho. Touch me, just like that.
All I've Ever Known. Maurice discovered so much that night about touch and sharing and being with someone. He wants to be with Alec. "All I've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you too. [Hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. Hold you tight, I don't wanna to back to the lonely life.]" Alec opened up his eyes and he'll never be the same.
Can't Help Falling in Love With You. 'Did you ever dream you'd a friend, Alec? ... Someone to last your whole life...' 'Alec, you're a dear fellow and we've been very happy.'
I'd Like To Walk Around In Your Mind was added from Maurice's perspective. Perhaps it fits Alec too...
I think Love At First Sight has the double meaning of the literal title, as well as "wouldn't you like to kiss her" perhaps being... Something Maurice would hear.
I Don't Dance. Based on this post/edit. Please watch this video oh my God.
Pink in the Night. Alec yearns for Maurice in the boathouse. He hasn't come. He hears his heart breaking tonight.
Every lyric is perhaps pulled straight from Alec's brain, to be honest. I remember seeing a post with this song in other contexts with them too. So yes, a few meanings.
Amour plastique. Alec reminiscences on the night in the Russet room. Why hasn't he come?
In my mind, everything goes wild. I lose myself in your eyes. I drown myself in the vagueness of your loving gaze.
And at night I cry tears that stream down my cheeks. I think of you only when the days ends, only when my sad demons descend upon my mind, into the bottomless abyss.
Waiting in the boathouse at night, when the day ends.
I ring out in kisses all down your chest. Lost in the avalanche of my heart astray. Who are you? Where are you?
The moments of then repeat in his mind. Where is Maurice?
I suppose Hopelessly Devoted To You and I'm A Fool To Want You are self explanatory. Maurice should really come... Alec really toughed it out, 2 days he spent in the boathouse, really wanted to see Maurice, really knew they had something, and doesn't want to be treated like a dog. Generally, his 1st letter.
Moon Song. My friend said they added it as a general love song. — Why do you treat me like this? Why didn't you come to the boathouse? — Alec's 2nd letter as a whole. Plus bits of 1st.
And you pushed me in, and now my feet can't touch the bottom of you. ... So I will wait for the next time you want me, like a dog with a bird at your door.
Ewan would fit here tbh.
Panalangin. My only prayer in this lifetime: to be beside you, to be together with you, that's my prayer.
"I since cricket match do long to ... place both arms round you and share with you, the above now seems sweeter than words can say."
And this heart won't allow if you will be away from me, my love, please listen.
It also fits the end of museum.
I Want You. Maurice, can you come to the boathouse already? Alec has no power to teleport you there. I hold one card that I can't use.
I found you. I found the door, but when I stepped through, there was no floor. He found Maurice, bit he's not being here for Alec.
You're coming back And it's the end of the world We're starting over And I love you, darling And I am done, dear
Alec wishes this would happen. Also, he does come back later and they love again over, and "it is finished".
Credit for suggesting the next two songs goes to @beatle-capaldi!!! He also wrote was in quotations!
English Summer Rain
The Most Radical Thing To Do
Hinahanap-Hanap Kita. 1st letter, he's looking for Maurice. Thinking about them together.
In my thoughts and dreams, in every turn of destiny, I look for you. Also applies to that hotel/post-hotel feeling. I look for you, even if I try to forget you, saying goodbye, looking back...
Wildest Dreams. They think a lot of each other. They share once more. But they must say goodbye. Alec saw this coming. Maurice hopes that Alec will remember him like this.
I Hear a Symphony. Alec truly opened up Maurice's eyes. Maurice was meant to be with him. He helped Maurice, changed his life. But now Alec is leaving on ship... Or is he? The symphony leads into...
An orchestral sountrack. The Boathouse. Unfortunately the Maurice soundtrack is not on spotify. It's on my personal YouTube music version. I added it because it just captures the boathouse the only way the sountrack itself can.
The Word of Your Body (Reprise). MLM people have moment of romantic tension, which culminates in confessions of love. Just had to add it. "Haven't you heard the word of your body?" perfectly describes Alec gifting and showing Maurice the wonder of truest physical affection and love. He lets Maurice be okay with himself, and again, changes everything. Every lyric is perfect.
Also, sorry JBW, I like other versions more... Too bad Spotify is mean.
I See The Light. Yeah. Every lyric. Maurice is Rapunzel. Movie Blond too. Both the morning at Russet room and the museum. And the world has somehow shifted. All at once everything is different, now that I see you. "By now they were in love with each other consciously."...
Suddenly Seymour. Suddenly see more, yeah? Clive = ass and someone gives him affection for once, wow! Sidenote, I want to sing this with them and their accents... Suddenly SCUDDER...
Helpless. Musical theatre songs seem to be good retellings of their love story. It's why they belong in post boathouse. Summaries and retellings. They're also good at conveying love they'd feel for each other in general, all times ever. Like loving men, retelling a story.
I'll Cover You. Cute love song feat. gays. I like to imagine them dancing around, declaring their love and devotion for each other. Walking and dancing around like in the original scene, sometime post canon. In my own imagination, I thought of Alec as Angel and Maurice (Christopher) as Collins.
Video Games. They must love spending time together. I thought this to be Maurice POV. Only worth living if somebody is loving you I mean, come on.
It's you, it's you, it's all for you. Everything I do. I tell you all the time, heaven is a place on Earth with you.
Un sospiro. I headcanon that Maurice picks up the piano and plays for Alec. Perhaps he picked it up bc of/after Clive, but now can play it for someone who gives a shit.
Something about the melody reminds me of them. And then it gets more intense... A bit like the passions of love, showing up in sharing and touch and more, too.
Liebestraum. I mean, it means love dream/dream of love. I just had to. Also I just like Liszt.
Take Me Up With You, Dearie. This song is just so sweet... So soft... Edwardian to boot... I love how quintessentially 1909 it is. Discovered it in a YT video. The thought of them getting married makes me cry. This song in general makes me want to cry, it's so romantic, tender, and exudes my favourite era...
Let us float, float, float through the clouds, and just have a lot of fun. We'll go up, up, up as two and then come down as one.
Put Your Head on My Shoulder. We Belong Together. I always imagine Maurice and Alec slowdancing to songs that come on the radio together, when the 1950s hits... Alec probably rests his head on his shoulder as this plays and they dance...
I'm using a lot of ellipses, am I secretly Rupert Graves?
Welcome to the 70s and 80s. They love dancing together and being with each other. Now, Panalangin can be a happy song. My only prayer for this lifetime ... To be together with you. And this heart won't allow if you will be away from me.
Just the Two of Us. What a nice, vibey song. Great title, great scenario of them dancing to this...
Tiny Dancer. Your Song. MLM people in the 70s + Radio, being happy and in love with each other. — I just thought I should add some Elton. A different friend, and I, like him. Maurice sings to Alec, "And you can tell everybody this is your song." That I put down in words how wonderful life is with you in the world.
Electric Love. Fun fact: this song got me to share the playlist. Got me thinking about them and their anniversary again. The funky busy instrumental describes well their passionate love. The highs of electric LOOOOOOVE describe the intensity of them.
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Alt text continued: themselves together under and the love. And the love. The song has its own tension and it perfectly pictures their own tension. So yeah, this is THEIR song quite literally.
Sorry if my music taste is perhaps basic. I just made it for when I hear songs that are Them.
Falling for Ya. Alec falls for Maurice. "I saw you when you first drove up, Mr Hall..." Something about Maurice, right? Plus really nice vintage vibes with the music. The bit about Into your arms and it's a secure sure sounds like Maurice. Awh, they're falling for *each other*...
Rainbow Connections. Gay and bi people. Marriage. Everything that Maurice and Alec went through to get here, where they were meant to be. Clive. Working for Clive. Leading up to now.
All the things that had to go right, all the things that had to go wrong, that lead us to the place where we were going all along.
On the YT version there's a soft/jazzy cover of Panalangin here. Because they're old and spending time together and being happy. What a throwback, a defined meaning in their lives over time.
Still Into You. After all these decades... Old and grown, together... True soulmates... Two men can defy the world... Maurice and Alec still roam the greenwood. Imagine Maurice meeting Alec's mom in this context. If only.
Postmodern Jukebox cover, because they are a quintessentially 20th century couple. They exude vintage.
Some piano playing for Alec. Soft, tender, romantic, emotional, true. Feels like nighttime. Feels like Maurice and Alec. And a throwback to the pre 1914 world as well. Claire de Lune feels like... A credits of life piece. Time spent in the early 1980s. Nocturne feels like that too, but more romantic. Smidge less nighttime. Ah yes, Gymnopédies. The truest credits feel of them all. None of these actually are credits for Maurice and Alec, but I struggle to find the word for this feeling. But yeah. These all have Them vibes to me. Piano of the time just does I suppose. Glad to be reminded of them at any time.
What a long playlist. Like going through almost their whole lives together. 1:52 hrs. Almost like a movie. Imagine that. A full movie of THEIR lives... But leaving to the imagination was a good thing. Led to this such action. Thank you E.M. Forster.
Timeline:
1. Pendersleigh
4. & 5. Russet Room. Night, then Morning
9. Cricket
10. Boathouse Nights
18. The Museum
20. The Hotel
21. After
23. The Boathouse
24. They Still Roam the Greenwood
I just like to imagine them dancing to songs on the radio, for decades to come...
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inkdemonapologist · 3 years
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SESSION TWELVE of the BatIM Call of Cthulhu game, aka Continuing to have a Great Time At The Masquerade! : )
Joey and Bendy destabilised early on, meaning Joey went through the ENTIRE masquerade UNABLE TO STOP SMILING
getting some mixed messages here, Joey
Sometimes u dress ur characters up as rabbits for fun but then you have a lot of emotions about them losing their minds and then u gotta draw them losing their minds while dressed as rabbits... anyway Jack being mind-controlled did NOT help Sammy hold onto his mental stability at this nightmare party in case you were wondering,
ANYWAY HAVE, MORE OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTES, UNDER THE CUT
[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]
[GM] Joey, make a POW roll also... [Joey] Oh, boy, [GM] ...because Bendy was also told to enjoy this party, and you guys just passed a plate of food, and he wants to eat! [Jack] FEED YOUR SON! [Joey] No!!! [Henry] HES A HUNGRY BOY! [Sammy] A GROWING BOY!
[Henry] Henry will look back to see if Moonlight is trying to follow them! [GM] He will see that Moonlight has grabbed onto the railing of the stairs and is hobbling slowly down them. [Joey] *extremely evil-sounding cackling*
[Jack] All Cthulhu Official Dice actually come weighted, to make you fail.
[Henry] Gotta try harder than that, bitch! [Henry] ....that wasn't in character. [Jack] It's in character, but he's only thinking it. [Sammy] That's the golden text you see on the wall if you use the seeing tool
[Henry] My Luck is 68, I don't know what y'all are doing! [Jack] We're spending Luck so that we'll fail! [Sammy] BEING UNLUCKY! I've barely spent any Luck, I'm just NOT A LUCKY GUY
[Henry] Oh, Avedon's here, [GM] There's a gunshot, and he tries to shoot Fowler! [Joey] Um, well, uh, whoops!, rest in peace Fowler! [Sammy] Yeah, that'll sort itself out, let's go! [GM] Moonlight seems to reconsider from telling people to grab you guys, to grabbing Avedon instead. [Joey] Oh! THANKS AVEDON, your sacrifice will, not be thought about in the slightest!!!
[Sammy] Is... weird question, does this room look like it matches the architecture of the rest of the house? [GM] [GM] [GM] ...make a sanity check.
[Sammy] It would be a like, Come on Jack, do you know where you are, shake it off, snap out of it, kind of thing. [GM] Why don't you make a... a.... oh boy, [Sammy] One of my REALLY persuasive social skills?
[GM] This probably just registers to Jack as, Sammy griping about a party, which isn't that strange. [Jack] Yeahhhh, he wants to leave. He always does that. I wanna stay at least a little longer! [GM] That just means it's Jack's job to find them something fun and good to do. [Sammy] Oh boy, [GM] I don't think Jack is being compelled to be aggressive about this necessarily, he just feels like he's Jack at a party, doing the things Jack normally does, and trying to have a good time! [Sammy] Ah, and everyone else is being weird, [GM] Yeah! Everybody's being really weird! You're at this nice party, and now you're in this weird room? The party's back there somewhere! [Jack] I mean not that he's opposed to bein' dragged into side rooms at parties by cute boys, but,
[GM] The table looks like a table that Henry has in his house, actually. [Sammy] Have I ever been in Henry's house? These are questions I didn't expect to need to ask tonight.
[Sammy] Jack, this is weird! You see this is weird, right?! [Jack] Well yeah, it is kinda weird that we're in-- what are we doing here? [Joey] Joey is going to grab Jack's arm, and point to the next door, and go "Party is this way!"
[GM] Peter looks worried... [Sammy] Sammy looks worried too! Well, Sammy looks angry, but in a worried way.
[Joey] Joey is going to scream frustratedly. [Sammy] Is there ink in this room? [GM] There is not. [Jack] Is there a party in this room? [GM] Definitely no, only the party you bring with you.
[Joey] Joey is going to scream again. [Joey] He's also going to kick the door. He might stub his toe. [Sammy] Through all this, Joey is smiling. I just need us all to remember that. [Joey] YES. Also his tail is furiously going. [GM] Bendy is also upset! There is nothing to eat here.
[Joey] Joey is going to try to feed Bendy some ideas, [GM] He doesn't want ideas, he wants food!
[Joey] So.... what happens if you fumble a sanity roll?
[GM] See, here's the silly part. At this point, right? At this point, the best place to do the tasks you want to do, involve either getting the stone out of the room with the safe, or having the staff that Henry is currently holding. [Sammy] So you would arrive, by completely different means, to the same place that we are! [GM] Clearly Joey is inside the safe.
[Jack] Bad and naughty Joey Drews get put in the safe to atone for their sins!
[Henry] Henry is going to channel his inner Joey Drew and round the corner and say "No, sorry about him, we're just here on inspection, we need to check the safe." [Henry] Which is probably a Fast Talk, which I hope it isn't, because my Fast Talk is a 5. [GM] Unless you wanna try to turn that into a persuade somehow? [Henry] I'll do Persuade! [GM] What are you doing to persuade them, rather than just lying? [Henry] *rolls* I failed... I'm gonna push it... [Sammy] *uneasy noises* IF YOU PUSH IT AND IT GOES BAD, IT GOES WORSE [Henry] AH! HAHA! I ROLLED A SIX! [Sammy] THAT'S STILL NOT LESS THAN FIVE! [Henry] WELL IM DOING PERSUADE! [Sammy] That means you have to NOT LIE! [Henry] ....Fuck. [Henry] Okay, uh, there's an emergency, we need the contents of that safe. [Sammy] THATS STILL A LIE??? [Joey] NO actually, THAT'S TRUE! [Henry] It IS an emergency!!
[Sammy] Sammy cannot believe that this is working.
[GM] Bendy does wonder what his plan is for getting out of the safe. This does not seem like a fun party place. [Joey] Um, [Joey] Joey says it's a surprise.
[GM] Henry, the safe does indeed open! And there's a Joey! [GM] Bendy says "Oh wow!" [Henry] Henry tries his best to keep a straight face, like yes! this is exactly what he came here for! [Sammy] (Sammy is NOT keeping a straight face) [Jack] (Straight? In this party?)
[Jack] He's probably saying something like, "What are you doing, he's one of us!" [Jack] And that could go either way. That could mean "No, he's chill, I will persuade you to stop!" Or that could mean, "We are also criminals!"
[GM, as the guards] Then why does he look like the Yellow King's messenger? [Henry] *not missing a beat* We get that a lot.
[GM] Something falls from the sky and lands in front of him. And it's a person! [Joey] Is he alive? [GM] Very much not. [Sammy] How... how Illusion of Living canon-compliant is this Joey...?
[Jack] So... it would probably occur to Jack that this is weird for a party,
[Henry] Joey don't touch it! [Joey] Why not? [Henry] There's runes around it. I don't know if you can touch it. [Joey] Joey's gonna touch it. [Henry] *long-suffering sigh* If you get zapped, I'll tell you I told you so!
[Jack] Jack really wishes we were just back at the party right now, you guys... [Jack] Only bad things have happened. [Jack] Pete's traumatised, Joey's goopy, the Lurker ate all of the snacks,
[Sammy] Can I try to break free from Henry? Sammy's gonna try to run over there. [Henry] At this point, Sam can go, if he wants. [Sammy] Okay, cool. Then Sammy's gonna go and put ink in his mouth! [Henry] Goddammit. I was hoping you were going to check on Joey!
[Joey] You can’t take all of the sanity hits! You have to leave some for other people! [Jack] Says you! You got so many temps!! And an indefinite!!
[GM] Bendy probably is complaining loudly about WHY DID HE WALK THROUGH THE RUNES??? [Joey] Oh! I thought he was going to complain about the party, or lack thereof, [GM] That’s part of not having fun at the party, he’s not into that! [Joey] Well, [GM] This is not a fun party activity!!
[GM] But he doesn’t think it will destroy either of them, if you do it right! [Jack] That’s a nice, way to end that sentence,
[Sammy] Let us hurry! May I take the stone? [Joey] Joey shrugs. [Sammy] Sammy will, uh, attempt to reach inside of... whatever this is, and find the stone. [Henry] Reach INTO your LOCAL boss, and you will find A Friend And Boy,
[Sammy] Is there anything in this room that I can pick up, and then hit him in the head with? [GM] Henry has a stick... uh....there’s a projector.... [Sammy] Can I pick that up? [GM] No, you cannot. [Sammy] It would be REALLY funny if Sammy dropped a projector on someone else’s head. [Sammy] HOW THE TURNTABLES!!!
[GM] ...Can you impale with a rocking horse...???? [Sammy] I don’t want to impale, I want to knock him in the head so he passes out!!! Rest your head, it’s time for bed!!!
[Jack] I don’t think Jack has any plans after this! [Jack] I meant that in the sense that he doesn’t know what he’s doing next, but the way I phrased it, now it just sounds like he’s hitting on Fowler, like, he doesn’t have anything to do after this, are you free? That’s not canon.
[Joey] I don’t know how this will go, [Sammy] Good luck! [Joey] But Joey would like to-- [Sammy] Sammy believes in half of you! [GM] w-which Sammy? wHICH HALF?!
[Jack] I know you said “note.” But my brain at first processed that word as “milk.” [Henry] *laughing* “Did you get my milk, Fowler?” [Jack] He drank the last carton and he didn’t buy more! [Sammy] “I’m going to the store, want me to get anything? *jumps into the lake*”
[GM] Combat Jack! [Jack] *exasperated* He’s not a Combat Boy! Jack is soft and warm, like mashed potatoes!!!
[GM] Norman is wondering to Henry if he oughta be concerned about you all getting what you want out of this. [Henry] .....Maybe.
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Brave face, talk so lightly(hide the truth)
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'All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them.'
Au August
Day/Prompt: Day 26 - Soulmate
Ship: Prinxiety, brief logicality, creativitwins
Word count: 3k (I'm so sorry I got carried away)
Cw: swearing / brief murder mention / implied death / crying / nightmares(?) / anxiety mention / caps / claustrophobia(?)
A/N: the prompt is your dreams are your soulmate's memories. The title is from the song "Sick of losing soulmates" by dodie. I wrote the first 1/4 of this a few days ago and the rest in one sitting and I couldn't care less about proofreading it so Im so sorry if there are any mistakes ;-;
@tsshipmonth2020
I see a girl in the distance. She has her back turned. Long chocolate-colored hair tied in a low messy bun. My hand is reaching out to her. I feel this sudden longing to be held by this woman. Craving her caring and loving words. Telling me that everything is going to be alright.
Wait. Why is she getting farther away?
She looks back at me with a sad smile. Everything gets dark. I let my eyes stray from her to look around. When was I in a hospital corridor?
"I'm sorry, Pumpkin. You're gonna have to continue our adventure without me. But, fear not, Little one. I'll always be there by you. You just gotta learn to know where I am,"
She caresses my cheek, giving me the warmest smile I have ever received.
She's gone, suddenly. I touch my cheek, still feeling the ghost of her warm touch. Along with… something wet? Am- Am I crying?
"Roman!"
I don't move. I feel stuck. But, also free, somehow. Just unsure of what to do, I guess?
"Roman! Wake up. You idiot!
"Roman!
"Oh, thank all things unholy! I thought someone was in our room, trying to murder us! You were crying, and- and whispering stuff! And it's creeping me the fuck out! And I'm not easily creeped out, you know that" Remus exclaimed as he sat on Roman's chest, grabbing his twin’s shoulders.
"Man, you're soulmate must have some twisted memories," He continued, getting off of Roman and returning to his own bed across the room.
'Yeah. Twisted…' Roman thought.
~*~*~
"You okay there, Sweetie?" Roman heard from where his head was buried on the kitchen counter. "Yeah... Just thinking about my soulmate again," he admitted.
"Another bad dream?" His mom inquired as she sat next to Roman, patting his back. "It's not just that. It's about the move. Like, we're never really sure which of our memories they see, right? But, they've seen all my memories from this place. Like, they know where I've been my entire life…" he trailed off.
"I'm just not sure how they would feel seeing a whole new different place… They don't seem to be in a place to experience a big change right now. All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them. And, yeah, my dreams don't really change that much. But, I make an effort, y'know?" Roman looked up at his mom to seek at least some kind of reassurance.
"I understand what you mean, and I think that what you're doing is great. And I know that you're gonna be the bestest thing that's ever gonna happen to them. But, I'm really sorry. We don't really have any choice with this move. I know your soulmate is in a dark place right now, but you can't always do everything for them. You're also your own person," His mom hugged him.
Roman felt like he was hopeless in this situation. And, he was always hoping for the best. For his soulmate or otherwise. Maybe his mom was right about putting himself first sometimes.
~*~*~
Virgil was in his first period when someone he didn't expect to walk into his classroom… walks into his classroom… They were wearing an army green shirt, a denim jacket with neon green highlights and spikes at the bottom, ripped jeans, and platform boots with more spikes and vulgar words written on them. To say that this man was familiar was an understatement. He KNEW this man's entire life THROUGH his dreams.
Virgil felt like he was trespassing someone's life. Like, he wasn't supposed to know the man. And that, they shouldn't be in any way related. Especially to their sibling.
He wasn't really ecstatic about meeting his soulmate. IN SCHOOL NO LESS. It wasn't really an ideal 'meet-your-soulmate' place for someone like Virgil.
"Alright, students, I'm sure you've all noticed that we have a new student right here. Now, why don't you go and introduce yourself, Mister," their teacher said to the denim jacket guy.
"Umm. Sup? I'm Remus Duke Kingsley. Nice to meet you all. And, if you see a guy that looks like me but without the mustache and wears red all the time, he’s always loud, you can’t miss him. That's my twin brother, Roman. The boring one," Remus says, yawning by the end of his introduction.
'HOLY FUCK, TWINS?!' Virgil thought. Fortunately(or unfortunately, depending on which part of Virgil's brain you're asking), Remus already gave him a vague description of who to look out for.
~*~*~
Virgil continues his day and falls into his daily routine, which mostly includes attempting to avoid being perceived by anyone. It usually succeeds if you exclude his friend, Patton, from ‘anyone.’ He only hopes that his soulmate also sees Patton in their dreams cuz, to be honest, Patton is the ray of sunshine everyone needs. Yeah, he was also friends with Logan, but he’s more like a moon if you ask him.
Virgil goes into the cafeteria and sits at their usual table, his back facing the entire cafeteria. He takes out a paper bag from his bag and grabs the sandwich he bought earlier, not waiting for his friends.
A few moments pass before Logan and Patton reach his table. “Hey, kiddo! You alright?” Patton says as he sits down. Virgil just gives them a nod and continues to eat. “I heard this morning that there were new students,” Logan inquires before Patton interrupts “Oh yeah! They’re twins! I have first period with one of them. He’s really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!” Patton shouts and waves his arm toward a student that just entered the cafeteria. “Hope you guys don’t mind that I invited him over to sit with us,” He continues and flashes both Virgil and Logan a smile no one could say no to.
“Hey, Patton.” The guy says to Patton. “Hope you guys don’t mind me crashing your table. I’m Roman by the way,” Roman says to the other two. “Pleasure to meet you, Roman. I’m Logan. And, no, we wouldn’t mind at all,” Logan answered him back. Roman looked over to Virgil who just nodded and said his name. Roman then proceeded to sit next to Virgil but not paying him any mind.
And, though Virgil seemed to be calm about the situation, his mind is currently in flames having his anxiety and his gay panic fight over each other. Virgil is currently waiting for who would win, that's why he seems so calm on the outside. After finishing his sandwich, he was trying to think of something he could do to keep himself from leaving and be noticed. He looked over to Logan, attentively listening to Patton talking about the dog he saw this morning. Roman was silently eating his lunch, also listening to Patton, but looking around the cafeteria every once in a while.
It seems that Virgil’s anxiety won the fight because he decided that he doesn’t want to stick around with his friends and his apparent soulmate without doing anything. So, he stands up and excuses himself from the group. "Hey! Wait!" Roman calls after him. Virgil stops a few feet from the table to look back at Roman who was already jogging towards him.
"Virgil, right?" He assures.
Virgil nods. "Ok, there’s just something I wanna ask you. Are those two soulmates?" Roman throws his thumb back, pointing at the two left at the table. "Cuz, as much as how adorable they look together, I kinda don't want to be stuck as a third wheel," he continues.
"Oh. Yeah, those two are soulmates. Sometimes, I wonder if they ever do notice me every time I leave the table," Virgil elaborates, looking back at his friends with a slight smile.
"Umm. Class doesn't start for a few more minutes. I was wondering if I could join you for a while? Wherever you were going…" Roman trailed off, realizing he didn't know where the shorter male was headed.
"Uhh. Yeah, sure. I was just headed to the courtyard to pass the time,"
'Shit. Virgil, why are you doing this?! Why did you agree?! You have anxiety!' Virgil mentally scolded himself.
"Ok. Cool. I'll just go get my stuff," Roman flashed Virgil a smile before heading back to the table.
'Fuck. I am so screwed,' Virgil thought.
~*~*~
"So, what's the deal with those two? I mean, how did they deal with the soulmates thing?" Roman finally spoke a few moments after they found a bench to settle on. "Uhh, well. Logan is my childhood friend and the first day we started high school here, they both had a dream of roll call the other had that day, I guess? They both heard each other's name and boom. You got your glasses gays," Virgil discussed, reminiscing the events that happened that day.
Roman let out a chuckle at Virgil's last words, causing the other's heart to skip a beat. They remain silent for a while, watching the other students passing by.
"What about you?" Roman spoke up.
"What about me?" Virgil glances back.
"I mean, what about you? Have you met your soulmate? Do you know who they are? You just seem like an interesting individual to me, having to stick around knowing you're third-wheeling all the time yet valuing your time with them and your time with yourself all the same. Well, either that or I'm just embarrassed that I think you're uncomfortable with me here…" Roman rambled, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed.
Virgil chuckled, "Nah. I just get anxious when meeting new people. Plus, I think you're a pretty nice guy." They smiled at each other, Virgil feeling his face heat up, and looks away immediately. "And, about the soulmate thing. I think I have a clue of who they might be, I just…" he trailed off.
"What's holding you back?" Roman muttered, lowering his head, attempting to catch the other's eye. "I… I just think that my memories aren't that… for them. They're just this amazing and joyful person… I just don't think they deserve to see my bland memories every night,"
The pair fell silent, Roman feeling sympathy for the other. Virgil felt Roman shift in his seat before speaking up, "I don't think anyone's memories are ever bland."
Virgil looks up at Roman who has a far-off look with a slight smile on his lips. "I think that our dreams are what shows us what we're missing in life. What our soulmate has that we need and what we have that they need. You know, what makes you both feel complete when you're with each other," Roman smiled.
Virgil pondered on the other's statement for a while. "Is that... Is that how you feel when you're with your soulmate?" He said, being careful with his words. Roman sighed but remained smiling, "I haven't met them yet. But, what you said earlier reminded me of them. I always think they're a little different. My moms said that dreams are supposed to show my soulmate's memories. But, no one is ever sure which ones we see. Well, my dreams always have one thing in common… There's darkness every time…" Roman trailed off, looking more sad as he continued.
"Sometimes, they walk out of their house and, suddenly, everything goes dark and I see pairs of eyes staring at me as I walk. Or sometimes, they lie in bed and, suddenly, it's dark again and I'm stuck inside a box too small for me. But, there’s always this one dream that always repeats itself. Though, I'm not sure my soulmate's gonna be comfortable with me sharing," Roman finally snaps out of his trance and looks up at Virgil, looking embarrassed.
At this point, Virgil is now entirely sure that the person in front of him is his soulmate. He feels tears cloud his eyes so he looks away to play off wiping them away before looking back at Roman with pity in his expression. This is exactly what Virgil was afraid of, having his soulmate also experience the darkness that clouds him every day he wakes up.
"Wow… They- I- I don't know what to say… What are you gonna do when you meet them?" Virgil glances at Roman, pity still in his eyes. Roman let out a sigh but smiled, "I'm gonna give them the biggest hug they've ever received and reassure them that I'm always gonna be with them and that they'll never have to feel alone all the time ever again." Roman looked at Virgil with a smile. But, before he could notice the tear that fell from the other's eye, a loud shrill of their school bell rang throughout the courtyard, signaling the start of their next class.
"Talk about first impressions," Roman said with a chuckle, standing up. "Well, see you around, Virgil. I got a few more 'Hi, I'm Roman' to do," he continued, leaving Virgil on the bench.
~*~*~
I hear my converse squeak as I walk through the hallway. There are people around me, but they're all just silhouettes of the same familiar darkness. I'm walking to what seems to be the cafeteria. I sit down and grab my lunch from my bag. A few minutes pass, two figures sit in front of me. There's something familiar about them despite being two black silhouettes.
"Hey, kiddo! You alright?"
Patton?
"I heard there were new students," Logan?
Wait. Am I…
"Oh yeah! They're twins!"
Oh.
"I have first period with one of them. He's really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!"
Before I could look over to… me…
Darkness. Again.
I hear muffled voices. Too muffled to be recognized.
I stay in darkness for what felt like hours before I get surrounded by light.
Too bright.
There's a silhouette in front of me. It doesn't have any facial features but I can feel it stare at me. Slowly, the light around me doesn't feel too bright anymore. It feels… warm and comforting. Similar to the feeling I have in my chest, along with a squeezing feeling. I feel tears cloud my eyes, but I feel happy, somehow?
I feel someone embrace me. I look up to see the silhouette. Its arms around me, like it's protecting me. I feel secure. I feel loved.
I hug back, breaking down in its arms.
"You don't have to be alone anymore"
I hear my own voice. I break down sobbing, seeking more of the silhouette's warmth.
I stopped sobbing after a while but remained in the silhouette's arms for what felt like hours.
"You gotta wake him up!" I heard a distant voice say in a hushed tone.
"No, he hasn't slept like this since who knows when… Something must've happened yesterday..."
I feel myself slowly drifting from where I was standing.
"We can just tell the school he's sick"
"On the second day?"
I feel someone caress my cheek.
"You can stay too if you want"
"Hey, sweetie," Roman opens his eyes to his mom in front of him.
"What's going on? Why are you all in our room?" Roman asks as he sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He eyes Remus standing in front of their mama. Their mom is sitting on the edge of Roman's bed, facing him.
"Well, sweetie. You see, you just had a full night's sleep," their mom explained.
"You looked so peaceful too," their mama added with a smile. Roman stopped to let the events of his dream last night come back to him.
"Roman, is everything ok?" Their mama walked over to him, tucking a few strands of his hair behind his ear. "Yeah… Yeah, I'm okay!" He flashed a smile to his moms, meaning what he said.
~*~*~
Roman hadn't been able to sit still ever since he got to school. 'Late', he should add. Apparently, he overslept while Remus and their moms decide whether to wake him up or not.
When they got to school in the middle of first period, they were excused because their moms were there to explain. With a slightly bent truth, of course.
Roman had to wait three(and a half) classes to talk to Virgil. They didn't have any classes together, to which Roman was bummed to find out. When the bell rang, signaling their lunch break, Roman hurriedly headed to the cafeteria. When he got there, he spotted Virgil just about to sit down at their usual table.
"Uhh. Virgil? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Roman felt awkward, to say the least.
"Uhm. Sure," Virgil replied, standing up. Roman led them under a tree in the courtyard, away from other students. They stayed silent for a while before Virgil spoke up, "So… what'd you wanted to talk about?"
Roman just stared at Virgil for a few moments, examining him, before enveloping him in a tight hug. Virgil stood frozen for a while, surprised at the gesture. He slowly placed his hands on Roman's back, still confused at the sudden affection.
"You're not alone anymore, Pumpkin," Roman said in a gentle voice, cradling the other's head. Virgil froze when he heard the nickname. His expression then softens and hugs Roman tighter, burying his face on the taller male’s shoulder.
"How did you find out?" Roman heard, slightly muffled by his jacket. "Had a dream about yesterday," Roman simply stated, not elaborating more. "What about you? You said you had a clue. Oh! That rhymed,"
They both laughed.
"I have first period with Remus and I recognized him right away," Virgil replied, his face still buried on Roman's shoulder. "Oh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with him," Roman chuckled.
"No, I'm sorry you had to deal with him your entire life,"
"Well, we're not alone anymore now, are we? Roman asked with a serious tone. Virgil parted a few inches from Roman, still holding on to him. He smiled as he looked up at Roman, "No, we're not."
This might be the last one I'll do for AU august but I'm also deciding if I should go back to the prompts I missed when I was sick hmm
I wish I included Remus more in this but it was already 3k words and thats the longest I've ever written so maybe its for the best XD
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