#survivor story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ellarosedesignmaui · 1 year

Text

In The Blink of an eye my Dreams Shattered

From what I can remember, it was a pretty routine day back on Friday, June 4th, 2010. Little did I know my whole life was about to change forever in more ways than I ever imagined possible!

Life to me was just perfect, at a time when spring was in the air and summer was almost here, I felt terrific. It is the best time of year in Lower Michigan.

I was finally about to graduate from college, and I felt on top of the world. Exams were due Monday, and there was only one more term to go.

Determined nothing was going to stand in my way!

I had just won an award for my designs.

Little did I know my life was soon going to be ripped away by a thief in the night.

A Typical Day Building The Dream

It was a usual day, to be in the workshop anywhere from 12 to 24 hours a day, yet the first time in four years, school wasn’t open 24/7 especially during exams.

I can’t count how often I was there a few days at a time, usually in midterms and final exams.

Soon security was announcing we needed to leave, as they were closing campus. As I was packing up, dreading my hour drive home only to turn around to come back in the morning.

As I was leaving a classmate I ran into walking out; Knowing the long drive I had kindly offered me to stay with her. She lived very close to campus, & saving me hours of driving.

Before My Shattered Dreams

I knew everyone and everyone knew me! Whether they liked me not sure, like to think so! I had a rare opportunity to work for the Detroit Pistons, for ten years meeting tons of people.

“I was an outspoken individual. I often had strong opinions and beliefs.”

I had recently spent the past 10 years figuring out who I was after previous life struggles. I was working on moving past some childhood experiences! Before starting School I was almost always with someone in the above photo.

I’m blessed with some of the most amazing friends and family I could ever ask for! Their love & believing in me so much to succeed at all my crazy passions got me to this point. Supportive of my crasy callings.

I was on my way with great opportunities after graduation I set up a plan for the future!

There was always a very close group of us from college who always pushed each other to reach new heights. We knew each other well, knowing the chances are only a few of us would make it. Based on statistics fashion is extremely high cut throat industry.

We were the few who always put in the work.

We were so determined to take it to the top! Rather than be self serving, it wasn’t uncommon for us to lend a hand in need. Especially, if one of our inner circle was to overwhelmed.

A group of us very dedicated to succeeding became more like family! Often spending more time together, then our actual family’s. I’ll always be eternally grateful for them, & love each of my fashion family!

Dark Starless Sky

Unsure, how the other girl is feeling now or her scaring I’m respecting her privacy not saying her name. she invited me to stay saving me 2 hours of driving time on no sleep! See we looked out bit. Although, if I knew then what I do now I would have drove that 100x over!

I followed her home that night. It was so dark, looking up and not a star in the sky. I also remember it raining at some point that horrible night. It’s weird how you become acutely aware, of your surroundings at times with smells, sounds, a chill in the air, after the fact.

We both run inside and lock the door behind us. Being that is was nearing summer, it was extremely hot that night. We ended up cracking the 2nd-floor balcony door for air. We were studying for a bit, getting a lot of done and feeling good. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think the end of my world as I knew it was mere seconds away.

How you deal with change in the blink of an eye

“Never Saw It Coming, just took the blink of an eye!”

My friend stepped away to return, holding up a bag with two bagels in it, asked if I wanted one. I stood up quickly, took one step forward as I pointed to one, yes, please.

Within just seconds, my life was going to change, unaware of what was about to happen.

We had turned our backs from the cracked balcony door for only a brief second!

Suddenly a masked man was standing behind me with a gun to my head. My head was going crazy. These questions still haunt me.

How did he get in here that fast? Had he been watching us for a while? Did he follow us there? Did he know my friend?

All these thoughts and questions are going through my head as I stand there, fearing for my life. Things like this don’t happen here; this is not normal.

Stuck In A Nightmare

I couldn’t help myself. I screamed, bloody murder when I saw a gun to my head. I swore someone had to hear and would call the police!

“But it had to be a joke better yet!”

Reality became clear…

as we then instructed to drop to our knees and put hands behind our back! As crazy as it sounds there was something I trusted when he said don’t make another noise & I won’t hurt you!

He said this while tying our arms up so might have been crazy! But it was all I could do to stay calm!

He then walked us into her room. Then laid us across her bed face down. As he began going back to the door he let in other men. We never saw with our eyes covered .

Catch me on Facebook Elizabeth Marie Rose Facebook.com/Elizabeth.m.rose.3

Then they began searching every room. Soon realized it was for something to tie our feet up with. He grabbed a phone cord charger for that and covered our heads. before they proceeded to let in another 3-4 other men we never saw! As he began going back to the door he let in other men.

I remember that for someone that’s hard of hearing. I could hear everything now. It was like God knew I needed my hearing it was the only sense I had to work with! Although the way we set, her and I were able to clench fingers.

I was so thankful because that was what kept me from crumbling. We would squeeze our fingers, like we were not in this alone!

Im strong mm

Surviving During Trauma

Your body goes into a state of survival that’s unlike anything else when your life’s in danger.

I’ve never been able to explain the full-body calm that comes over you in a time like this.

I wanted to react, but I was also calm somehow and wanted to believe him, hoping his statement was true.

My rational mind says; who trust someone holding you hostage, but my mind in fear wants to believe him.

I just remember how tight I clung to her fingers to remember we were in this together.

I just couldn’t understand why the police hadn’t arrived yet. I had screamed for my life, as loud and terrified as you can imagine, praying that someone had heard.

“I had a gun put to my head, where was our help?”

These men, although I couldn’t see, I could hear clearly for one of the only times in my life. I could hear the steps on the floor. I was trying to count how many I heard.

I listened to everything hoping to remember something to help. So when we got to the police; I’d be able to answer questions. I wanted to find out about who these men were.

Your Focus Determines Your Future

The Demands & Questions Begin

As I heard them opening everything and going through boxes, one of the men who was very mean, kept asking me what was in a box near my head.

I didn’t know; I didn’t live there. Suddenly, he kicked me demanding answers, when I was spoken to. I said I don’t live here and have no idea!

Next He wanted our info and said if you lie, I will kill you!

Now honestly, there wasn’t anything I was not telling because I knew he meant it.

I just kept praying she did the same because he had a tone in his voice like it didn’t matter.

He started asking for our debit card pins. I gave mine hoping they would use it, which could help the police find them.

He also wanted all of our passwords and pins for everything.

We were asked over and over again by the mean guy for our password and pins, and it became clear he wanted to make sure we were not lying.

I remember the relief felt realizing she had answered correctly also.

This when on multiple times over the few hours we were held.

This is more true then you know!!

I Didn't Know How Much More I Could Take

They soon wanted more answers to where things were in the house. Again, the mean man kicked me so hard demanding, “what’s in the box?”

“I cried, no idea! I don’t live here, but if I knew I’d tell you.”

Time was moving so slowly, it was not that big of a place!

I don’t understand what they were doing or what was taking so long.

As the hours passed by, I knew no one was coming to help, so I gave up on hope.

“We were utterly alone, no one knew we even needed help at this point, so that’s when some despair started setting in. “

But, wait could it be?

I finally heard them talking about leaving.

Wait No, I just heard my car door unlock. Then hearing it drive away.

“All I could think of was I have no way out of here!”

The worst was it still wasn’t over because we heard the mean man say he was staying here, to make sure they got away.

It put chills down my spine. It had seemed like forever as he walked so loud as he waited.

I prayed alll this time and dispite how were were treated I still praying for kindness! Who was I to wish Ill on anyone I just tried to be true to my heart and honestly hope it would help them show us some kindness!

As Trauma Survivor I Wasn't Free At All

Suddenly it was so quiet in the house, I couldn’t tell what was going on, but then I felt like a finally alone.

Like the silence after a snow storm. We were alone; they had all left.

Intense fear washed over me, as I had no idea where the mean guy had gone, or if he had left, so I waited but was starting to tremble, shaking.

I waited for what felt like forever but was probably 10 minutes before I cried out, “are you still here, we won’t get up if you are.”

We continued to wait, but that’s when I started to hyperventilate; I was terrified and needed help.

With what little bit of sense I could muster, I thought for a moment, and then I clenched my fists to begin to break free. I didn’t want to mess with any evidence.

I did what they had taught me in Taekwondo, to keep pulling my fists through the ties. It took a while, but eventually, I got my hand free.

The closer I got, the more I was breaking apart emotionally.

Where did they leave out? What direction had he gone? It haunted me!

Not knowing where they had gone was paralyzing me with fear.

Once I got my hands free, I then helped my friend. She was so much calmer. I didn’t understand how, but after getting her hands free. We both freed our legs.

I tried to stand, but my knees buckled, full of fear. We both laid on our stomachs to army crawl with our elbows to the door as we didn’t know if we were being watched, and it was making us both crumble in fear.

Our phones and computers were gone, so we had no way to call for help.

There are no words to describe my sheer terror at that point. One would think we were safe, but not knowing where he’d gone was paralyzing us.

As we both let ourselves fall apart, for a few minutes trying to process things.

I looked her straight in the eyes and said we need to get out. Yet, so scared I can’t move we need to call for help.

She was brave and opened the door; thank God there was no one out there!

when times get hard I remember this and it helps me remember Im here to help others!!

Help wasn't Easy To Find

I went to knock on the neighbor’s door, but she stopped me saying that was a family! Without hesitation, I thought perfect because they are likely to help. Then as the dad cracked the door, I just cried “please we need help call the police please.”

He hadn’t even unlocked the latch, so it was still locked as he proceeded to close the door.

We were banging on doors begging for help after the 1st man dismissed us in such dier time of need. Who does that when we just said we needed help?

https://instagram.com/ellarosemaui_

No one answered until we got to the bottom floor, then finally, a couple let us come in until the police arrived.

The neighbor said, “oh, that was the scream we had heard.” My heart sank, I thought, he could have helped us if he heard it and called the police to check it out.

Neither of us could go in the apartment once we got out, regardless of police we couldn’t return.

I looked at her as I realized my tailoring jacket was in my car that had been stolen and immediately just focused on my exams that were due Monday.

The Missing Jacket matched this purse. Dispite getting it back I never was capable of finishing it. there was way to much emotion in that to deal with.

No Not My Family

“Then it hit me like a ton of bricks!”

That they had taken my keys along with my phone and my car pretty much my whole life! My brand new Malibu watch had home programmed in, and so did my phone.

“It gets worse, they had my keys to get into my parent’s house.”

Immediately began calling to warn them and let them know what happened, but no one answered, I called every phone number! This was not like them, this started to make me worry more.

“Did this mean the thieves were already there?”

My mind jumped to the worse. It was so unlike my parents as my mom sleeps with one eye open, I swear.

Why weren’t they answering and were they ok? It felt like the longest 45 minutes before I got a hold of them to warm them to put on the deadbolts.

Soon on their way to the Amber apartments to get me.

The days to come are a blur. To this day, I still haven’t fully processed what had happened.

The Troy police officer, was very surprised and admitted he was new to the unit but had never seen anything like this.

Despite trying to stay calm, I was shaking uncontrollably as we told the detective what happened.

Beautifully Broken Is My New Reality

I started to realize how broken I was and the damage that was done.

The next few weeks would be some of the toughest of my life.

My way of coping; I stressed over my exams, my jacket that had been done to perfection and completed all but the hem. This was our main senior project. It was designed and made over 2 terms.

I had made a purse to match, busted my tail, getting it done. I loved my army green denim fabric with a bright, colorful polka dot lining that fit me perfectly.

I have a photo of the purse I made to match, even adding a red button.

I added a large button in the bag to clip my keys to since I always lose them so hoping this would help them not get lost so easily.

I don’t know if this was the best way of coping, yet who knows what’s normal as nothing I was going through was normal.

I hoped keeping busy would help keep my mind off reality.

In the Blink of an Eye, Life's Never Be The Same

My life was forever changed in ways I never expected.

I used to be so full of life, loving, carefree heart has now turned to stone only full of fear.

I can’t go anywhere without wondering if they’re here or near.

It’s made me so sad I often just cry, as I remember how much I tried to live my life to the fullest.

When you’re afraid to leave your house or be alone, it makes living difficult.

Adjusting to a life of flashbacks & nightmares, I try to keep smiling, pretending I’m not broken.

The reality is, all I want is to be happy again, that genuine feeling that makes you feel full inside is empty and dark. As dark as the night it happened in a starless sky, my dreams now are evolving, and I understand why.

I need to help others find a reason to push through and try.

Trying to remember my loved ones don’t understand; however, it doesn’t mean they don’t try. The only way to truly understand what it’s like, one must experience it, yet I wish that on no one.

These were my closest support system all grown up and Im always grateful for them for all they are and have become!

Dreams Delayed but not gone Forever!

Now 10 years delayed. I’m about to do my life dreams. I got some amazing experiences from those years. Through, working with brilliant people who helped me get here! Ready to become vulnerable again.

I’ve realized how important it is to start the discussion about Mental Health Awareness and support for Trauma Survivors. I’ve decided that I’m going to use my passion to share my love of fashion, in addition to including education for the many women suffering Mental Health Illness and Trauma Survivors.

shop now

By Choosing this path I’m deciding to take back control of my life. Choosing to use what I went through to help others, as, my life changed in the blink of an eye. Unfortunately, stigmas need to be changed and I strongly believe most are due to lack of education. By helping educate our society is essential to winning the battle. It’s been too long now there is a negative association with anyone suffering mental health.

We all make a choice in life, to be part of the problem or part of the solution. In my experience I know all to well the lack of support for this cause. I’m choosing to be a change I know is needed.

My Dream is to help women build their self-love and confidence to accept themselves in every way. No one is perfect, so by continuing to make a conscious effort to improve our mindset and allow ourselves to be authentic. I hope this will help improve how many see yourself and see our strengths as ways to make this world better more loving and accepting place.

Especially, for the friends and family of individuals suffering. I needing them more then ever trying to sort through the new way of life. Yet, it’s a double edged sword, your feeling more lost and alone than ever before. We push people away not understanding how bad it is! Don’t let your loved ones do that regardless how hard they try. Your exactly what they need most.

My friend Sarah since middle school reunited after moving home from Texas.

Those Suffering Invisible Scars You're Not Alone

My life is forever changed in ways I never expected, quicker then you can blink an eye. My dream now is to help create much needed change.

Sadly, it can be anyone’s future. We never know, especially with the number growing of both school & public shootings. Each one is creating a far larger number of people suffering effects of trauma and mental illness.

https://ellarosemaui.com

Award I won for sharing this story of survival!

I’m sharing this deeply personal detailed experience of how my life changed in the blink of an eye.

Yes, it’s scary, traumatizing, and ultimately life-changing part of my past. I’m sharing for anyone suffering invisible scars to know you’re not alone.

Keep fighting because you’re stronger than it!

When you’re feeling the fear of it just push a bit more, that’s how I’m trying to accomplish more. Most importantly, if there’s one thing you take from this. Those of us broken by invisible scars on our soul and are still damaged and broken, please don’t judge us negatively.

It’s easy to think we are not hurting because we probably look the same. The hardest comment I heard over and over was, at least you are ok. I was so not ok, not even close, just remember the invisible scars can hurt the most.

Never judge your loved one because that’s the worst for the person in pain on the inside.

We need our families more than you know, and even when we say “no,” just keep on loving us anyway!

“You can never tell a book by its cover.”

Lester Fuller and Edwin Rolfe

#survivor #my story #trauma survivor #fashionbusiness #your not alone #liveyouradventure #live your dreams #warrior-princess #beauty behind the madness #mental health support #mentalheathawareness #ellarosemaui #entrepreneur #survivor story #this is so real #childhood trauma #fashion

2 notes · View notes

wewritetofeelwholeagain · 2 years

Text

“You always this quiet?”

He turned his eyes downward and stared blankly at the soldier in front of him for a moment. The entirety of his attention was on the blank sky above where the stars softly lit the sky. His thoughts were on the comfort of his home and his room; his family and the dinner they would be having that night.

“Baked Salmon on rice,”He thought to himself,”With Chocolate cake and milk for dessert.” He chuckled out and closed his eyes, shaking his head as the man’s voice had brought him back to reality. The man in front of him looked to be close in age to his own father, but the harsh conditions around them made him look much older. Streaks of grey began to appear in his unkempt brown hair and his skin took on the appearance of aged leather. The younger man knew he was no worse for wear. His own skin was beginning to leather up and his hair had grown a few inches since he last looked at his reflection. He could feel the sensation of stubble growing on his once clean shaven face and knew there was little he could do about it. The only razor they had between them had to be used for fishing, otherwise they would have starved to death days ago. He had already gone down a few notches on his belt and was positive he would go down a couple more. The elderly man across from him was no better as he was already close to skin and bones.

The younger male finally spoke with an audible hoarseness in his throat,”Not usually. I...I talk to friends and my-” He stopped himself just before saying the word. The one word they agreed to not talk about as they drifted lost in the sea. The last time it was said, the older man almost choked him. He didn’t want that to happen again.

“I was just thinking,” the younger male said in a quick recovery,”I was thinking just how long it’s been and why we haven’t been rescued yet. We’re not too far from the wreckage, right?” He tried to sound positive and hopeful as he had the few nights he had been before, but even he couldn’t find himself believing it. His words were simply met with silence as the old man’s stormy grey eyes reflected the same thing they had after the second night: hopelessness and despair.

The older man spoke with a grim tone,”Best give up those dreams while you can. No one’s coming to save us. I’ve made my peace with it already and it’s high time you do the same.” Silence of words stretched between the two of them with the sounds of waves slapping against the side of the raft.

After what seemed to be hours, the young one rummaged through his pocket and stared at the blank screen on his phone. He tilted his head lightly and saw that the old man sat there with closed eyes. His eyes were used to the darkness, but he still had to strain to make out the barely visible movement of the old man’s chest rising and falling. He kept his eyes on him for a couple more minutes before pressing the power button, turning the device on. It vibrated against his hand and lit up, the large crack visible against the illuminated screen. The lock screen made him crack a smile as he stared at her cracked face. Her warm smile would often help him drift to sleep as he thought of her. Her brown eyes shone with excitement. Her curls defied gravity no matter how she wanted to wear her hair.

Swiping gently against the glass, he unlocked the phone and clicked on the Gallery. Swiping through the photos one by one, he found his smile growing wider as he looked at what his life once was. Hanging out with friends, spending time with her.

“Shouldn’t be burning the battery,”He heard a voice call out on the other side of the raft.” He quickly tucked the phone away, staring back at the older male. The two sat in silence before he cleared his throat.

He stuttered out,”I-I was just checking to see if I would get a signal. T-that’s all.” He felt around the sides of the phone, pressing what he thought was the power button until it suddenly began to ring. The two both stared at each other stunned.

Quickly pulling the phone out, they recognised the number: Emergency Rescue.

With a quick swipe on the screen they shouted in unison,”Hello?! Is someone there?!” There was a silence before a sigh of relief was heard on the other side.

“Yeah...someone’s here. We’ve been looking for you guys. It was smart to turn that phone back on. We were just about to give up hope,”The voice responded,”Keep this phone on for as long as you can. We’re about 10 miles away. Don’t worry gentlemen, you’re safe now.”

#writing prompt #four word prompt #writing #survivor story #writerscommunity #stuff i wrote #writers and poets

2 notes · View notes