#suicide mention..= | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

antiherotheantisocial · 2 years

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#annoying tw 🥵🍉🍇🌊🌊😈 and if you reblog this i'm gonna snipe your fucking left eye with safety scissors 🥺💖#remind me to never feel interested or get invested in wanting to know anyone. that's always where the problem starts. every fucking time.😐#love has always been the mistaken excuse i keep damaging my mental health over. it's like a fucking festering toxicity.#wanting to be loving is the fucking problem. thinking of how to be more loving is the fucking problem.#being loving is the fucking problem. even just seeing love is the fucking problem. love is what is worst for me.#it's soooooooo fucking stupid. so sooo soooooo stupid. sooo soooooo sooooooooooo fucking stupid.#i'm trying to mold myself into being a more loving person when obviously it's the most monumental fucking idiocy spewing shite.#love may simply be the answer for the world but for me it's the problem. fucking distractingly pathetic lie.#it's actually quite the hilarity. i just genuinely hate love as a concept. just look at what it has done to me.#realistically i keep thinking about my soulmate because i idealize that they won't reject who i am like everyone else.#and i keep leeching on to it because having just one connection...would hypothetically fix me. but deep down i know it won't.#nothing will at this point. i'm just wrong. as a person. as a thought. as an existence. i regret not offing myself when i was younger.#you know scrolling through my blog last night and this morning has been really disgusting. sex disgusts me. love disgusts me.#how i've been acting lately....it disgusts me. love is not who i am. it's not what is best for me.#the quicker i accept it for what it is the better i'll feel. hm. cringecore posting is kinda fun actually. anyways bye. 😐#if you see me posting about love i'm just keeping up the bit and the aesthetic of it all.#i seriously fucking hate love and believe the gross hold it holds over me will be the death of me.#ok bye. for real this time.😐#suicide mention..=#i guess. don't fucking read this anyway. 😐 i come on here to talk to myself if you read it i'll fucking step on your pinky toe. 😐👿#anlg0107

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lastoneout · 5 months

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Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.

#hply fuck y'all I haven't felt like this?? ever???#tryinf to be gentle with myself #but I truly feel like I'm made of glass #personal #negative #vent #cw suicide mention #ask to tag

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patroclusdefencesquad · 4 months

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no one does it like him any more

#doctor who #tw suicide mention

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cutecipher · 2 months

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Remembering when i called the suicide hotline and they insisted on misgendering me so i was choking out through sobs that i was a woman and she wouldnt stop so i just had to hang up

#suicide mention #transmisogyny

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dyggot · 3 months

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got scared of notes, sorry. might make rebloggable again someday

#suicide mention

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turing-tested · 1 year

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doing research on people's preferred formats for how restaurants have their menus displayed online and i'm including responses to the post to send to my boss but um. i don't think i can include this specific response

#suicide mention

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ooppo · 2 months

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Medieval authors were so fucking funny. In "The Faerie Queene" this guy comes up to the main hero and is like "Don't go over to that cave, there's a guy inside that makes people kill themselves." And the hero is like "Bet." and goes into the cave. Then the old man (literally called Despair) is like "If you die, you can't commit sin." and can you guess what happened.

#suicide mention

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shadowtraveled · 1 month

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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

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prokopetz · 1 month

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"This webcomic got me through some pretty bleak times. In fact, it might not be exaggerating to say it saved my life."

"Maybe I should read it, too."

"What? God, no – it's fucking terrible."

#media #comics #webcomics #suicide mention #swearing

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aromanticduck · 8 days

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Sorry if you're already over 50, I ran out of room (you're welcome to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies!)

If you're younger than 10, get the fuck off Tumblr. People are saying swears on here!

[EDIT: It's OK to vent a bit about negative feelings in the comments/tags, but if you're gonna talk about killing yourself, do me a favour and fucking don't]

#polls #birthdays #ageing #milestones #organic home grown content #for me (28) while there's an element of 'where the fuck did the time go?'#30 sounds all right. even kind of nice #you're still on the younger side of adulthood but you're no longer one of those 'barely an adult' new adults #although some people might feel that change at 25 #i feel like 40 is gonna be harder to deal with. that still feels like the age people's parents are #though it might look different once i'm in my 30s #100 tier #1000 tier #suicide mention

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lastoneout · 10 months

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Seein' too many Twitter refugees asking if they'll get in trouble for saying "kill yourself" to people and while no, you're not gonna get nuked from orbit, that is maybe something you just shouldn't be doing in general perhaps?? Maybe telling people to kill themselves is bad actually?? Some of y'all are wild, why is the first thing you can think to ask on a new platform if you can send one of the worst kinds of harassment to people?? Grow tf up and learn how to use the block button. It'll do wonders for your mood, trust me.

#this is the real cringe behavior #also you'll get reported if you do this it's actually against the rules #why do you want to do that??#I've never felt the need to say that to anyone ever #is there a joke I'm missing out on like wtf is wrong with you #twitter #twitterpocalypse #suicide mention #ask to tag

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become-a-robot · 11 days

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#Technician 11-7-88 page 7 #hi OK Glass #suicide mention #they might be giants

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disco-asphodel · 5 months

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realtalk but when i see dudes on steam or ppl on tumblr talking about how disco elysium made them feel pathetic and uncomfortable i just. i don’t know. i cannot relate to that at all. disco elysium is about an alcoholic amnesiac poet in love with a dying city who loves him back. if i had never been an alcoholic, if i had never been suicidally depressed, maybe i would think the world of disco elysium is a bleak one. but when you know what it’s like to go through that darkness and come out of it again? to fall back in love with a world that almost destroyed you? disco elysium is the most hopeful story imaginable. it sees the world for what it is and holds nothing back, none of the horror, none of the wonder, none of the love…

something about art comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable i dunno

#disco elysium #harry du bois #cw suicide mention #i can only speak for myself ofc. but it’s one of the most hopeful stories i ever experienced #its like literature or something!#meta #text #my posts

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sweatermuppet · 1 year

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[guy who is trying so hard to not express his suicidal ideation] another day haha. back at it!

#suicide mention

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softwaring · 5 months

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