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heniareth · 3 years

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I was tagged by @scribbledquillz for this ao3/fanfic author meme. Thanks so much for tagging me! Now, there’s only one thing (I’ll explain as soon as I answer the first question). But first, tags. I’m gonna tag @yukichouji and @the-iron-lion because I know you write and post, but I also know you’re busy, so please, only do it if you want to and have time ^^ Apart from that, if anybody who sees this wants to give it a go, consider yourself tagged! I’d love to read your answers, so feel free to tag me back

How many works do you have on AO3?

So, here’s the thing: I’ve never posted anything I have written XD One day, I will, but until then, I’ll answer the questions I can answer to the best of my ability ^^ I’ll modify some questions and keep the original ones for anybody who wants to answer those.

What’s your total AO3 fanfic words count?

123.211 words total (not counting one absolutely massive collaborative fanfic that I’m not gonna count rn)

More under the cut!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Funny thing: thanks to this question I’ve rediscovered like ten folders with the beginnings of different fanfics I’d not opened in years. Thank you, @scribbledquillz for making me find my old writings! My main work rn is a Dragon Age Origins retelling (featuring Astala Tabris of course, though I have decided that the other origins--Surana, Amell, Brosca, Mahariel, the whole gang--also survive because yes.) I also have two separate unfinished pieces on Caduceus and Caleb of the Mighty Nein (Critical Role) respectively. Equally unfinished are one fanfic with Loki and his Jotunn heritage, and another about the extermination of mutants in the X-Men universe prior to X-Men: Days of Future Past. Both projects were ambitious, but exist mainly as ideas now. The longest (and oldest) fanfic I’ve ever written is a collaborative super self-indulgent self-insert fix-it fic for The Hobbit. I am quite proud of my younger self for pulling through with this one and sticking to it over such a long time. It is, sadly, also unfinished.

Do you Would you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I would definitely respond to comments. It’s polite. I’d also want to mirror back the joy a comment has inspired in me.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

The X-Men fanfic ends with the events of X-Men: Days of Future Past, which (spoiler?) means all the characters were going to die. But it’s okay because the movie fixes that ^^ But generally speaking, I’m not big on angsty endings. Angst is fine anywhere else.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think it has to be either the The Hobbit fanfic or the Dragon Age Origins retelling. Characters I strongly identify with tend to get the happiest endings. Oh do I ever wonder why that is so

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I’ve never written a crossover, but I’ve read some really cool ones. There was one featuring the Mighty Nein in the Undeadwood setting (both by Critical Role) that I wished had gone on longer bc it was so cool.

Have you ever recieved hate on a fic?

One of the good things about not posting anything: you don’t subject it to judgement ;D

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have... never finished writing a smutty scene.

One day. One day. Zevran might be the push I need, who knows

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Another one of the good things about not posting anything.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I started translating several of them myself! :D

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh yes! It’s an amazing experience. The creativity is squared. It is important though that all collaborators are on the same page about where the story goes, how the characters will be portrayed, etc. Especially if you give somebody your own OC or self-insert to write about.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

There are a few that have a special place in my heart. Shadogast comes to mind, or Percy/Vex (from Critical Role). I love the Zevwarden ship because it’s a story about allowing feelings and romance and being stronger because of them (at least in my mind). I’m scared of what Fenris/Hawke might do to me when I get around to play DA2 XD

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Definitely the The Hobbit fanfic. It is a glorious mess, and from time to time I go through the documents again... but it’s just a really big project and my collaborators are busy

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! Banter! I love it. I absolutely adore it. I make it way too long but it’s so much fun. I’m very much character driven I think, which is also why fanfic is so appealing to me. Actions speak louder than words, but characters shout through a megaphone. I also like pairing dialogue with very day-to-day, down-to-earth actions (like folding laundry). I feel like it allows me to convey so much more about the caracters than only through the words they say and the dialogue tags of “he said, she whispered”. Another thing I consider myself strong at is worldbuilding and generally keeping the practical things in mind. If it’s autumn, it’s probably gonna rain, the ground will be wet, they’ll sleep poorly and that’ll be reflected in heightened tempers and therefore more drama in the next scene. The fact that in canon a town has a harbor will have impacted this character who was born there. I like the details and puzzling the pieces together to make a world really come to life XD And, last, I have also recently learned that I write best non-chronologically, and to just write it all out and edit later. It does wonders to advance a project

What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I hardly write any at first. I normally see scenes very clearly in my head, but I... don’t communicate it XD I’m so character-driven that I kinda forget about the rest. I also tend to get too bogged down by the mundane? The fact that I like to play around with details of the worldbuilding and have it all make sense means I’ll write that scene where they break up camp even though it... doesn’t really add anything to the story apart from the fact that it happens and they indeed do break up camp. Things that I should tell, I show. It reflects in my wordcount.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! I find it really interesting. I might even listen to the spoken dialogue via Google trnaslate XD The only reason it might bother me is that there’s just no elegant way to integrate the translation into the text on AO3. In a normal book, I’d go for a footnote, but in AO3 and with my chapter length, I won’t make anybody scroll down, read the translation, and scroll up again.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My first ever fanfic before I knew what fanfic was were things I wrote age 11 with a friend about the cowboy stories this German late 19th century writer Karl May wrote. We were obsessed with those novels

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I gotta say the Hobbit fanfic. It was melodramatic, it was self-indulgent, it had everything. I remember staying up with my friends way into the wee hours of the morning discussing how we’d save Thorin and his nephews from certain death and why Kili was so obsessed with Tauriel after talking to her once XD

And here we go! Thank you so much again for tagging me, this was a lot of fun (and it makes me want to post something. Maybe the Dragon Age Origins retelling will make the cut? I do hope I finish it in the next months)

#me #writing #astala tabris #for fun

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fleetofshippyships-archive · 5 years

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Fanfic Author Meme

Tagged by @diligent-thunder and @rockmarina =)

Okay, so I’m me, and I talked way too much, so I’m putting this under a cut to save your dashes. You’re welcome 😘

Please do not reblog this post.

Author Name:

Fleetofshippyships + Knowyourincantations + Legendaryroar

Fandoms You Write For:

(in order of decreasing # of fics) Harry Potter, Voltron, Merlin, Yuri on Ice, Star Trek, Star Wars and then a few one-offs that aren’t really worth mentioning.

Where You Post:

AO3 primarily, Tumblr, trying to post more on Pillowfort, I also post on a couple of sites for knowyourincantations

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:

RestraintNone of my old multi-chapter fics are available to read at this time and I don’t really write multi-chapter fics anymore.

If oneshot/drabble collections or two-shots count, then:

Fleetofshippyships: Vanilla and Sweet Spices (Drarry, Explicit, 2 chapters, 20k)

and this really doesn’t count, but technically it has multiple ‘chapters’ soooooooooo

Legendaryroar: Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships (Voltron), Explicit (duh), 31 ‘chapters’, 26k)

Favourite Story You Wrote:

I don’t think I ever have a static favourite, I’ve just written too many things, I too quickly move on to the next (and frequently forget some of my own fics exist XD), but recently I re-read In Pursuit of Red Wine (Dreville, Teen, 29k) and really enjoyed that again, and I am really attached to it cos it was my first longish rarepair fic, kind of proving to myself that I can write longer rarepair stuff.

I also recently re-read Unburdened (Merthur (BBC Merlin), Explicit, 2k) and really enjoyed that too, had a total disconnect from having written it since it’s been so long, so I was able to read it without self-judging, and oh boy that was nice.

I’m also quite proud of Healing What’s Left (Parkgrass, Teen, 2k) for some reason, I dunno, maybe the dark political backdrop of the fic, or maybe just cos it’s the first time I’ve written Daphne as the main character and I’m happy with the result and now have some headcanons about her rather than her being an unknown blank character to me.

I also binge read a lot of my Voltron stuff recently and had big feels over that so....I also specifically enjoyed re-reading The Perks of Skincare (Klance (Voltron), Explicit, 3k) again cos I dunno, I like how I wrote Lance XD and also the Sheith fic I linked earlier is a fav for sure. Shiro/Rest is the ultimate OTP.

It really depends how soon after I write something or when I go back to re-read it as to what my fav is at any given time (or people commenting on it and hyping me up for it again).

Story You Were Nervous to Post:

Everything. But most recently I was terrified out of my mind before posting:

Friday Night by the Fire (Harry/Neville, Teen, 583 words) because I have a lot of fears about screwing up trying to write ace characters and somehow not even making that a focal point of the drabble made it even more terrifying, No More Waiting (TianShan (19 Days), Teen, 2k) because it was a new fandom to write in, Harry Potter and the Maudlin Merman series (Drarry, Teen+ Mature, 3k +6k) due to my feelings of inadequacy because it would be better as long fic but I struggle too much with writing these days to write long fics and can only manage short things. I’d rather write this as a long fic, but then I’d never finish it so connected oneshots are the best I can do right now, but I still feel it’s not good enough and have a meltdown whenever I post one. And speaking of which, I’ve been sitting on the next one for months and should probably just fucking post it already.

Actually, most recently: Minding One’s Limits (Cho/Ginny, G rated, 1.5k), because I gave Cho a disability modeled off my fibromyalgia and wrote a scenario similar to something I’d dealt with myself, it was incredibly uncomfortable to write in the first place, and then terrifying to post, even though it’s so short. But in the end I’m proud I finally wrote about it a bit? I dunno, might take me a while to work up the nerve again though XD (also was my first time writing that ship, so there was a lot of nervousness over that too)

Oh, and I was a super ball of anxiety posting Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships, Explicit, 31 ‘chapters’, 26k) because for almost all of those it was the first time I was writing those kinks (and some were kind of squicks for me but I wanted to see if I could write them anyway cos I’m dumb like that) and in a lot of cases those ships were completely new for me to write too, in addition to trying to write and post 1 a day, so...yeah. Also that was my first time writing tentacle and human/werewolf smut so...yeah. I was an absolute mess that month and not in a fun way. But I’m still really glad I did it, it was fun =D

In summary, I’m always an anxious mess posting anything, but most especially if it’s something I’ve not written before or is personal to me XD

How Do You Choose Your Titles:

Most of the time I’m staring down the empty title field in AO3 cursing like a fucking sailor when I choose titles XD Sometimes it’s a line/theme/feeling from the fic. Sometimes it’s totally random and just comes to me. Sometimes I just grasp the first thing that I can no matter how stupid it sounds cos it’s been three days and I still don’t have a title and I’m over it and ready to post before I lose my nerve.

And tbh, it’s only getting harder to think of titles as my number of fics increases, and I’ve now started thinking of the perfect titles only to realise I already have a published fic by that title so....TITLES CAN DIE A FIERY DEATH

Sometimes, not so much anymore, it would turn out that I would give a wip doc a name just so I’d know what it was, sometimes as a joke with whoever was reading it and cheerleading while I wrote it, and then I would refer to it by that and think of it as that so much that when it came time to actually give the fic a title, it was too late and I could not think past that stupid file name, and that’s how Potter’s Insatiable Cock happened, and how I very nearly called a Merthur fic Arthur’s Wanking Tower (saved that one at the last moment thank god cos the tone of that fic is actually really serious and emotional and wtf was I even thinking with that file name and actually I linked to that fic above XD it ended up being called Unburdened).

Potter’s Insatiable Cock slipped through cos it’s actually relevant to the fic content and I could live with it.

But needless to say, I don’t give my wip docs joke names anymore XD

Do You Outline:

Only if I never want to actually write the idea...once I outline, it’s over. I can’t write to a detailed plan. It stifles me. I’ll always get stuck having to try and think ahead to the plan, and then I lose the flow and nothing works because I’m a pantser/intuitive/instinctive writer not a planner. Sometimes I jot down ideas but in like, the vaguest of ways, usually more focused on emotional development than actual scenes or events or anything because then I won’t be able to write it (and I rarely stick to those vague ideas anyway).

I can really only write when I’m staring down a blank doc with no idea where it’s going and discover it as I go (which is why writing is so fun for me). I can only finish a fic if I don’t think too hard about what’s going to happen next and just let it happen as I write.

This of course means that editing is a fucking bitch when I finish anything, beginnings often get totally re-written, but if I plan, it just doesn't happen at all, so I’ll take the extra editing if it means I manage to write something.

I do have a lot of detailed plotty fic idea outlines...and I mourn them cos I’m never going to write them now, but they’re so goooooooooood XD

Complete:

Online (across all 3 accounts): 381 (incl. my hidden drarry fics as they are technically online just hidden, not incl. individual oneshots/drabbles in collection ‘fics’, of which there are ridiculously many). Offline: 20 (I have the worst habit of just sitting on completed fics and I really need to stop)

In-Progress:

Too many to name, last time I counted it was ~60 but that wasn’t even including my vld wips so...I don’t actually know. I hoard wips and just switch up what I work on all the time depending on mood/interest levels/effort required.

Current main focuses are a 50k+ plotty Drarry (*fingerscrossed* cos this is my first time seriously attempting something long (will probably reach 80k at least) in a very long time and I put it down for a few months and thought that was it but then I picked it up again recently, yay!), and re-writing some hidden fics I can’t put them back up in the quality they’re in, I just can’t guys, they’re awful.

I’ve been thinking a lot about working on the longish 8th year Pansmione fic I started for the wlw big bang before I had to pull out of cos stupid life stuff. I might pick that up again for a bit too, couldn’t be more different from the Drarry one so it’d make a nice focus break =)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started:

I don’t even plan fics I’m writing, I sure don’t plan ahead to stuff I haven’t even started XD The only think I can think of for this category would be me re-writing my hidden long Drarry fics.

Oh, and there will be a Merthur oneshot coming (hopefully) soon, because @april-thelightfury115 won my custom fic giveaway with a merthur idea. Just waiting for my brain to cooperate so I can start that and not suck XD but I’m so fucking excited to write some Merthur again, you have no idea.

Oh, and lots more Sapphic September drabbles coming too, I’m way behind and only just posted day 11 cos this month is literal hell for me, but I am still planning on finishing the prompt list, no matter how long it takes, but no plan for those, not even which ships, I just sit down with the next prompt and a blank doc and see what happens.

Do You Accept Prompts:

Yes, I love writing to prompts, I’m take them via google form here, but I’m in such a bad space with my health I’ve been really struggling with writing lately, managed to do a bit of editing (fuck knows how), but writing new stuff is so hard, so there’s a long wait while I wait for my fibro fog to ease off to the point I can write new stuff with more regularity (and less stupid errors I have to edit out later).

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write:

Again, I so don’t plan. But I really want to be making more progress on the long plotty drarry wip I’m trying to write. I’m still not sure I’ll have the guts to post it even if I do finish it, given its subject matter (it would make a great careers or consent fest fic tbh), but damn I’m really excited by it. Not sure I can maintain it being plotty and not revert to focusing on the relationship (which is easier for me), but I can only try and see what happens. (trying to write a non-relationship plot without planning is a nightmare but I don’t have a choice if I want to write it at all XD)

I’m also now excited for my longish pansmione wip too actually, just because it’s already longer than my Dreville long-ish fic and it’s exciting and scary to do longer rarepair stuff. I’m way out of my comfort zone with the fic itself, but I dunno, I re-read some recently and fell in love with it all over again, like, flustered lesbian-awakening, disaster for Pansy (but sure she still hates her) Hermione? YES PLEASE! and also, I am guilty of not writing female characters as much as I should because, well, canonically, they don’t have much depth and I’m very meh about them, but in this there’s a huge focus on them because they’re all determined to band together for 8th year and Hermione is making friends with them (Parvati is like, dragging her along all the time XD) where she once dismissed them so it’s scary but exciting =D I’m getting more practice with all the sapphic I do over on knowyourincantations, so I feel more confident working on this wip now =D

I’m also kind of excited about re-writing my old long fics, because they’re all 3 years old now, and my writing tastes (and skill, yikes) have totally changed, so it’s like I’m writing the story again but how I would write it now while maintaining the overall same plot, so it’s really interesting, like discovering the story all over again. Like in one (Making Malfoy Blush) I’ve gone as far as introducing a new side character to replace another’s parts because I no longer feel those parts are in character for them. It’s super terrifying, but it’s fun at the same time =) it’ll take me forever to do these though, so I dunno about ‘upcoming’ really, I only chip away every now and then when I’m unable to write new stuff but am still coherent enough to do something.

Eh, it is what it is, I can’t write like I used to, hence me being inactive more than active these days, but I’m trying to work within my new limitations instead of getting frustrated with them and just giving up entirely =)

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Now, who to tag....I think anyone I would tag has already done it, and if not..I blame the fog if I’m forgetting someone obvious, if you wanna do it just say I tagged you so I can be nosy and take a look =)

Again, please do not reblog this post

#*#tag meme #tag game #about me #hope i don't regret linking to my other ao3 accounts #but i'm at the point if I get more bullshit like before i'll just abandon fandom entirely rather than shift to one of my other accounts #they served that purpose well when I needed it but the reasons for having to do it are not a problem anymore #so i'm tentatively linking to them for anyone who wants to read my other works #and hoping no one is mean about it #and please don't reblog this post in case I have to delete it to cut the link

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genesisarclite · 6 years

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Writer’s Reflections: Tag Meme

Rules: answer the following questions about your own writing, whether fanfic or original. If you can’t/don’t want to answer a question, just put N/A. If you don’t have that many posted works, tell us about your WIPs or individual chapters/drabbles or even your ideas! Then tag as many writers as you like :)

(oh, boy, this should be interesting!)

AO3 name and link, if applicable: GenesisArclite (FF.Net: GenesisArclite)

What’s your most popular fic, by whatever metric is most relevant to you (hits, kudos, comments, reblogs, some other trait)?

By raw stats, my most popular existing fic is “Hearts in Chaos”. It was the first of my fics to exceed 200 reviews, and despite the often excessive melodrama (or, maybe, because of it?), people absolutely loved it. I had posted it on deviantArt first, then cleaned it up and put it on FF.Net. On both sites, it got a lot of love, but far more exposure on the latter site.

What’s your favourite fic that you’ve written?

Of my longfics, “Final Fantasy Suscitatio XIII” is still near and dear to my heart. It took me four years to write, and that was at a roughly nonstop pace (except for about 1.5 months when I first got into Mass Effect 2). It’s also the first thing I’ve ever written in my life to exceed 300k words. The sense of finality and closure I managed to convey in the last ten or so chapters, and typing those two words, “The End”, is something that’s still stuck with me, and something I still hope to one day replicate with my MD sequel fic. It was a project that left me satisfyingly hollow when I finished and moved my readers through all sorts of emotions, tears included.

Of my shortfics, I’m inclined to say “Sanctuary”. It was the first time I had written from Adam’s POV, and what was intended to be a brief introspection turned into a 10k+ fic about his mind and his heart, of reluctant love and healing. Is it sappy? A bit, sure, but even I reread it once in a while.

I also have to add a section for oneshots, of which I have tons, from different fandoms. While I am proud of a lot of them, I’m inclined to say “Lord of Valhalla” is still my favorite, edging out a couple. The imagery and raw, visceral emotion involved was so harsh when I wrote it that even I was reduced to tears.

What’s your best fic, and is it different from your favourite fic?

Much as I enjoyed writing “Suscitatio” and still think it’s good, I also think it’s dripping too heavily with melodrama. I think “Sanctuary” is a far better balance of emotion and quiet language without going overboard.

Do you have a fic whose popularity surprised you?

Honestly? “Prism”. Four comments and thirteen kudos thus far on a fic about the rarest of pairs, that is more character drama and study than a “proper” storyfic, which startled me to the point where I decided that for that alone, I would continue the thing. I’m really sorry to anyone who’s waiting for chapter two, speaking of which. This month has just really sucked. But I’ll get back to it soon!

Do you have a fic you wish more people would read?

“The Stars Bear a Heavy Burden”. I might post it on AO3 at some point to get a little more exposure, because I’m certain it got buried right away on FF.Net. It was more or less a freewrite, hence the unusual structure, but I liked how it turned out.

Is there a ship or fandom you haven’t written, but really want to?

Zack Fair x Lightning for FF7/FF13 respectively. I first got into them years ago and have ever since toyed with an idea that even provides an explanation for how he got into her world (I have a special love of FF13′s world; don’t get me started on the Vallis Media or Gapra Whitewood or Edenhall or...). I’ve just never sat down to write it beyond a half-page I started years ago.

Tell us a random fact about your writing process.

I have been writing literally my entire life. A lot of my paranoia of how my work is coming out (and my depressing need to get feedback) comes from a lot of years spent in bad fandoms. I also wrote tons of Mary Sues and Self Inserts masquerading as Mary Sues, so I’m exceptionally paranoid about that. I will literally comb over and obsessively edit things to try to take any implications of that out, and publishing things like “Intermezzo” or “The Golden Knight” can be downright mortifying. I constantly go back and try to make sure I’m not gushing about a character’s appearance too much (original work included), even if it’s part of the story. I just have problems letting myself write purely for fun, and I’m not sure that will ever change.

Tagged by: @trulycertain

Tagging: @ultrasomnia84 and whoever else wants to!

#writing meme

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beefybuffybucky · 7 years

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The Lone Wolf

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female!Reader - Avengers x female!Reader

Request: Could you write something with Bucky, who is dating a really shy girl who has a hard time talking to people she doesnt know well and the avengers tease her for it but didn’t think it would upset her so much so Bucky comforts her? Thanks! ^-^ -Anon

Warnings: language - some angst - fluff

Word Count: 1.8K

A/N: I’ve been watching Ghost Adventures for hours, this show is just such a good meme. Anyways, here’s a fic for ya! I really hope I did the request justice, and I hope you like it! I’ve been having trouble coming up with some ideas lately, so send me some requests !!

The typical chatter and clatter of dinner filled the air. You were at the far end of the table, Bucky on your left and Tony on your right. Vision and Wanda had made a fantastic chicken dumpling soup and salad for dinner, and as the rest of the team ate, they talked amongst each other about their days, recent missions, and other things while you tried to keep to yourself like usual. It’s not that you didn’t like being a part of the team, but you were incredibly shy, and being put on the spot or trying to make small talk gave you pretty bad anxiety. You frequently stumble over your words and can’t really register what someone had said because of it, and honestly, it was embarrassing. You haven’t really been on the team too long. It’s only been about three months, and most of the time you’ve been at the compound has been spent reading, training, or hanging out with Bucky.

The “Lone Wolf” - that’s what they call you. The team gave you the nickname a few weeks after you joined. The name makes sense for you because, like a wolf, you live in a pack. Throughout your life, you’ve only been close to a few people at a time until they would leave you. Eventually, you’d drift back into another pack, but the endless cycle of drifting and being lost has left you with not only trust issues but a shy, nervous demeanor, as well. When you joined the team, you were scared shitless. The combination of all the new faces and people with having to adjust to a new surrounding sent you into a weird state. At first, you spent a lot of time by yourself. You would spend most of the day in your room, reading, drawing, doing whatever you wanted to, until the late hours of the night when you would head down to the training gym where you would spend a few hours releasing your built-up anxiety. Every so often, you’d find Bucky down there. He’d have earbuds in, either lifting an insane amount of weight or sometimes sending a punching bag flying across the room. When you first started going to the gym, the only contact you and Bucky would have was a nod of the head or the flash of a quick, often forced smile, but after a while, you started talking.

Bucky would tell you about his nightmares, and you would tell him stories of your past. Opening up to him felt more natural than breathing for you. You have never trusted anyone so much before. It was like you two had known each other for years, not just a few weeks.

Around him, you feel calm, like even just being in his presence drains you of anxiety. It’s almost like without him around, you’re stuck, locked in a cage of your own shyness, but with him, the lock falls away, and you’re free. He makes it easy to talk to him, and even when you can’t seem to find the right words or a topic to talk about, he still sits with you. The silence between you two isn’t uncomfortable like it would be if it was any other member of the team, but instead, it’s comforting, like you’re both just happy to be near each other. But, around the rest of the team, it was a whole new story.

You frequently stumble over your words, and whenever someone says anything to you, you can’t really register what they had said quickly, and honestly, it was embarrassing. So most of the time you were around the rest of the team, you let them do the talking while you would spectate and occasionally nod or shake your head. Even at dinner, you did your best to keep out of conversation, being too shy to really make any small talk with another member of the team besides Bucky, and tonight was no exception.

“What do you think, Y/N?” Tony’s voice brings you back to the dinner around you. You look up from your bowl of soup to find everyone’s eyes on you.

“Wh-What?” You blink, sinking down into your seat. Heat quickly pools beneath your skin, and your face is burning.

“What movie should we watch tonight? Pulp Fiction or The Princess Bride?” They were still staring at you. You could feel the anxiety starting to bubble in your veins.

“O-Oh, I, uh...I-I don’t really c-care,” you mumble. The weight of their collective gazes hangs heavy on your shoulders.

“What was that?” Tony arches an eyebrow. “I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Speak up, pipsqueak,” Clint says before taking a sip of water. A few of the other members chuckle. Your gaze drops back down to your bowl and a muscle in your jaw twitches.

“I-I said,” you try to force some more volume into your voice. “I d-don’t really care.”

“Did you guys...hear something?” Clint cups a hand around the outside of his ear. “Some wind, maybe?”

His remark earns even more, stronger chuckles from the group. Now, it felt like flames were licking at your skin.

“I-I, um...I’m tired,” you mutter as you push away from the table, still looking down at the table.

“It’s only six,” Steve calls from down the table. “How are you tired?”

“I j-just…,” you choke as you clutch at the bottom of your shirt.

“C’mon, L.W.,” Tony says through a mouth full of salad. ‘L.W.’ was short for your nickname. You’re not sure who had started to shorten it or when, but the team seems to use it more than your actual name. “Calm down.”

“Yeah,” Clint laughs. “It’s about time you break out of your ‘shy’ shell.”

“I j-just….,” before you can finish, you hastily walk away from the table and head for the elevator to go back to your floor. You push the button, tightly hugging your chest as you wait for the door to slide open. Keeping your eyes glued to your feet, you step into the elevator as soon as it dings. You slowly turn around, the front of your body facing the open doors. As you watch the bottom of the doors close, something catches between them. Your head snaps up at the sound.

Bucky’s metal arm was in between the doors, and they slide back open. He takes a few steps and stands next to you, then hits the button for your shared floor that Steve also lives on. The doors finally closed.

“Hey,” he says gently, placing a hand on the side of your arm. “You okay?”

You could feel a few tears start to prick at your eyes. Your eyes fall again as you avoid his concerned gaze.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” you mumble, then clear throat. A few seconds later, the elevator doors open to your floor, and you quickly duck out, leaving Bucky behind. You rush past the open living area and kitchen and into your room - which is across from Bucky’s - and kick the door shut behind you. It didn’t click shut. You turn around and find Bucky standing in the doorway, his metal hand on the doorknob.

“Buck, I said I’m fine,” your tone sounds like you’re warning him under your breath. You sink down onto the end of your bed.

“It’s pretty obvious that you’re not,” Bucky sighs, crossing the room to sit next to you. The mattress dips under his weight. “I don’t blame you for leaving dinner. I would’ve done the same thing if I were you, doll.”

“I…,” you sniffle. “I just don’t get why I’m treated like this. I c-can’t help it that I’m shy and people make me nervous. It’s like I’m just some kind of joke to them.”

“C’mere, doll,” Bucky slides a strong arm behind your back, then gently grabs your arm and pulls you into his side. You rest your head against his shoulder, leaning into his embrace. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I should’ve told ‘em to stop.”

“It’s not your fault,” you whisper. “It’s not your job to protect me. Besides, I probably overreacted.”

“I know it’s not, but I care about you, a lot, and I could’ve at least helped you back there.”

“It’s okay,” you sigh. A few moments pass without either of you speaking. You can feel your mind start to settle as the warmth of Bucky’s hold and his calming presences flushes over you.

“Do you wanna watch somethin’?” Bucky nods towards the T.V. in your room. “I can grab some snacks from the kitchen.”

“Th-That sounds great,” you smile through a sniffle.

“I’ll be right back, doll,” he smiles back and presses a light kiss to the side of your head. He stands up and walks over to your dresser. He opens one of the drawers and pulls out some pajama shorts and a t-shirt, then tosses them over to you.

“Thanks, Buck,” you chuckle. He hums in response and turns out of the room.

By the time you’re done changing, Bucky had returned with his arms full of snacks and a few different movies. He had also changed into more comfortable clothing, opting for sweatpants and a loose-fitting t-shirt. After putting La La Land into the DVD player, Bucky climbs under the blanket of your bed next to you, handing you a bag of your favorite chips. Throughout the movie, Bucky would sing along with you to the songs and make jokes about the apparently cheesy storyline. Near the end of the second movie, you could feel the tug of sleep pulling you away from reality.

“I’m so glad you’re in my life,” you groggily mumbled into his chest.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere, doll,” a light chuckle rumbles in his chest. His arm around your shoulder gently squeezes you. “I’ll always be here. I promise.”

You hum, smiling, as you drift further into sleep. Then, all that remains is the warmth of Bucky’s existence and the thought of him lingering in your mind.

Tags: @buckyisloved @awinterloveuniverse @isaxhorror @hollycornish @dcandmarvelimagines @bexboo616 @superwholockian5ever @queendarkmuffin @theraputicwritings @asouthsideserpent @captainfbffangirl99 @randyortontattoos

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