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legendofmorons · 9 months

Note

HELLO I HAVE RETURNED

can i request for a oneshot of reader having a bad mood throughout the day (due to stress/overthinking thoughts) while time notices their bad mood but doesn't want to interfere because he doesn't want to make their mood worse but at the end of the day the reader goes to time and they open up to him about the negative thoughts they've been having while time listens and comforts them (romantic)

— 🐺

Bad day (Time)

Of course! I'm always glad to do hurt/comfort things. And goodness this is an idea!

Pairing: Time x reader

Rating: T for cursing

Summary: When you have a bad day, you choose to see your boyfriend about it. He's supportive as always.

Warnings: None

Other: If I missed anything, please let me know

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You can admit you haven't been doing great lately. Between stress, questing with heroes, and your geneal unease about things, you're irritable.

The weather only makes it worse, gloomy drizzels have been happening all week. You can't get dry or warm. Your clothes cling to you uncomfortably thanks to the rains.

Despite your best efforts to be nice and to play it all off you know you're failing.

It's all a vicious loop that keeps getting worse.

You can feel Time watching you, he has been since last week. He's watching like he knows something is wrong but he dosen’t want to push.

You can't decide if thats annoying or sweet. But you're starting to think both is the answer.

After the shit show that was today, you sit yourself down by the fire, blanket draped over you shoulders to fend of the chill of the autumn air. The fire is starting to truly light and put out heat.

Thankfully, no one seems to interested in dragging you into a conversation. So you just allow yourself to get lost while watching the fire.

You hear more than see someone move to sit beside you. Based on the steps you'd guess it's Time.

He's got even and very quiet steps, but he makes sure to be heard around you and the others. He's very considerate like that.

When you look over you realize it's not Time though, it's Warriors.

Well shit. You really are out if it. Aren't you?

We're ignoring the fact that you're upset that it wasn't your boyfriend and instead focusing on whether or not you want to go see Time or if you want more space.

You decide after a moment that you do want to go see Time. Maybe he'll have some ideas? At least you'll get some affection.

So you nod to Warriors and push to your feet.

You look around, finding Time leaning against a tree a few feet away. He's polishing his shield.

You walk over to him, drawing the blanket tighter over your shoulders.

"Hello, (Y/n)."

"Hey Time." You say with the start if a smile gracing your face.

"How are you feeling? I know today had a lot of running."

"It was- okay I guess. I'm still kicking aren't I?"

Time frowns at your answer. He knows your beating around the bush. He just dosen’t know why.

"You don't have to talk about it.... but please don't pretend to be okay. I worry about you, dear."

You can feel your shoulders relax a little at that. Time is such a sweet heart. He's always so understanding!

"Okay. I'm sorry, Link. I'm just- stressed out and tired."

You watch his face go soft, his brow relaxes and his eyes start to get the look they always get around you.

You've never had someone lobe you so much you could genuinely see it in their eyes yourself. Sure others could see it- but for him to be so in love with you even you recognize it in his eyes? It always makes you melt.

"Is there a way I can help you?"

"Would- Would it be okay if I vent?"

"Of course, dearest. "

"Thanks." You say.

Time sets his shield aside and sits down, patting the spot beside him in invitation. He figures you've been on your feet long enough and that you more than deserve to sit for a while.

You sit down on his right, taking his hand in both of yours as you trace the knuckles and scars on it.

"So... I've been stressed... I'm worried about everyone back home. And what if I get us all killed? What if my family needs me and I'm not there?" You ask, worries falling out one after the other now that you've set them free.

You continue to vent, still tracing Time's hand. Your words grow more tired with each one but you keep talking.

You allow yourself to vent until you feel light. Until you've said everything and then even found worries you didn't know you had until you said them.

And Time? He just listens, occasionally nodding or throwing in an encouraging phrase. He doesn't push you or ask you to stop.

He wishes he could fix all of your problems, but he's more than happy to let you take space to vent. He knows how important that is.

Once you're done venting, you take a deep breath to re-center yourself.

Then you look to Time gently, finding him to be looking right back. "Thanks for listening. "

He smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I'll always listen to you, dear. You mean the world to me."

"I appreciate it. I love you, you know."

"I love you too."

"Good." You say, letting your head fall onto his shoulder gently.

You realize that you feel better. By a lot. You can't say it's all Time, but some of it certainly is. But venting definitely helped.

"You know, you're really good at taking care of others."

"Thanks." You say, but you get the feeling Time isn't done talking.

"You're allowed to take care of yourself too. I hope you remember that."

"I'll try."

"Good."

"You have to take care of yourself too."

"I know."

"Can we just stay like this?"

"Of course, (Y/n)." Time says, removing his hand from yours.

He then wraps an arm around your shoulders, kissing the top of your head. "For what it's worth I think you're doing everything you can in all respects. I understand that you are stressed but I hope you know I believe you'll succeed. "

"Oh." You manage, his words sweet and unexpected. "Thank you."

"I'll be here for as long as you need me. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm here for you too."

"I know you are."

"Good."

"You can rest you know, if you fall asleep I'll wake you for dinner."

"You don't have to tell me twice." You say with a smile.

You close your eyes, listening to the others talk, laugh, and move. But the whole time Time just whispers sweet things to you and occasionally calls you pet names.

It's nice.

#lu #linkeduniverse #misty writes #linked universe x reader #lu time #lu time x reader #time x reader #🐺 anon

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hotaru-morii · 1 year

Text

A special Christmas gift

A/N - @hiraizens 's white Christmas collab! Thank you for hosting this, I haven't written anything in forever and this motivated me to write again!

Pairing - Dazai x gender neutral reader

Warning(s) - marriage? Ik some people aren't down for that but idk if it needs a warning

Throughout most of Dazai’s life, he has spent Christmas alone. For, he lived a mostly lonely life. He didn't even understand the point of Christmas, thought it was a pointless holiday. Spending time with your "romantic lover" I'm the freezing cold weather just seemed meaningless to him, as he never actually pursued a serious relationship with anyone to begin with. Sure, he had a couple of hook ups, and flirted with women to get what he wanted from them.

He never even thought he'd end up in a romantic relationship with you. When he discovered that he had feelings for you while staring you down in the ADA office, he thought his feelings would eventually fade away, and that it was nothing serious, and that maybe he just wanted a couple of dates… but how wrong he was… he realized the more dates you guys went on, the more he actually wanted to start something serious with you.

Now here he is, in a serious relationship with you. It's been about ten months since you two have started dating. This was his first serious relationship with someone. At the beginning, Dazai couldn't help but avoid eye contact with you, or push his hair back while you two were talking. Which was a foreign concept for Dazai, because with anyone else, he never had these bad habits. However, things started to slowly change, and while he might still have some of these bad habits, and definitely still has a lot of room for improvement, but your relationship with him has gotten better.

You've spent seven years in a relationship with him, so it had to improve over the past few years right? Not only did your relationship with him improve, but Dazai's relationship with himself improved as long with it.

At the beginning, he couldn't help but not allow himself to be happy due to the intense guilt he felt deep down inside of him. Unfortunately, that self hate and guilt caused some serious problems in your relationship. Like how he sometimes would ghost you whenever he started feeling like the happiness he felt whenever he was with you, was something he didn't deserve.

Thankfully, that did stop happening with time, but you couldn't help but feel awful whenever he'd suddenly disappear and not answer your calls or texts while he was gone. And rightfully so! You deserved some answers from him. Of course you understood that he needed alone time because not everyone liked venting their problems to others, and you respected that throughout your entire relationship. But you at least deserved an answer when he would leave for weeks, and once he even left for months…

Of course you didn't just forgive him for his actions, you respected yourself more than that to just let him constantly ghost you and then come crawling back to your front door whenever he felt like it. But he did eventually apologize, made it up to you, and actually showed that he was sorry through his actions. He still doesn't tell you everything that happened in his childhood, and why he has so much trauma, but he told you the surface level details, and that was enough for you.

And seven years later after all the rocky parts of your relationship, you can safely say that you're genuinely happy in the relationship you've been in for so many years.

And he was too. After Oda's death the nightmares he had each day increased, and he'd spend more hours in the bar, drinking until it was the illegal limit.

But he didn't have to come home to tons of alcoholic drinks after work anymore, and drink his depression away. He'd come home to you, and that changed him in many ways.

When he turned to look at you, you had your head held up high, looking towards the sky. Your gloved hands held out, trying to catch the snowflakes falling from the sky.

You always loved the Christmas spirit, enjoying the Christmas decorations all around you, and most of all, being able to celebrate the holiday with the man you loved so much.

You smiled widely when you finally caught a snowflake in your hands. "Osamu look! Isn't it pretty?"

"I think f/n is cuter!" Dazai smirked, and you couldn't help but pout and blush faintly at his cheesey comment. You heard Dazai chuckle, and you immediately hid your face into his chest.

"Osamu…" You mumbled. The snowflake in your hands dropped to the floor.

Dazai placed a single hand on the to of your head, and the other was wrapped around your body, and smiled at the gesture. Dazai always smiles, but he rarely ever shows anyone a genuine smile.

He only ever smiles to hide his true feelings, and to hide who he really was on the inside. But with you, he could smile, and truly mean it. He didn't need to hide himself. Although he did hide himself from you during the beginning of the relationship, he slowly unmasked himself. He didn't need to put on his clown act anymore.

"Hey," he begins. Capturing your attention.

"What?" You asked back with a pout.

"I got something for you." He digs into his pocket for a moment, but then stops.

"But we already exchanged gifts this morning." You reminded him. Ignoring his sudden stop in movement.

"Ah, yeah but I got something else for you." Dazai awkwardly smiles. It was much different from any other smile you've seen from him. Has he ever smiled like this before? You couldn't help but wonder…

"You got me a second gift?" You asked.

"Yeah! I just love my belladonna so much I just had to buy her a second gift!" Dazai chuckled. But you couldn't help but tilt your head in slight confusion.

"Look f/n," He begins. "I… love you a lot, so I wanted to give you this." He grabbed out a small red box from his coat, and handed it to you.

You take the box from his hand, and open it.

When you saw what was inside the box, your eyes widened immediately.

Dazai then got down on one knee, and held his hand out to you.

"F/N, after seven years of being with you, I realized that I want you in my life forever…" He paused, and you felt your lips beginning to tremble.

"Will you marry me?" He asked.

Your eyes began to water at his question, and your slightly trembling lips turned into a smile. You wiped the tears that were beginning to form in your eyes more rapidly, and gave him an answer to his question. "Yes!" You told him with enthusiasm.

Dazai's expression softened. He got up from his knees and embraced you, and you embraced him back. The tears from earlier are now overflowing, but you had a wide smile on your face.

Neither of you said anything to each other, but Dazai knew that deep down, he's happy with the decision he made. Even though for most of his life he told himself that settling down with someone and getting married wasn't for him.

But at this very moment, he couldn't help but smile genuinely, and feel a warmth inside of him that made him know that he made the right decision.

"Osamu!" You were still hugging him, but you looked up right at him. "I'm really happy that you asked me to marry you!"

Dazai chuckled. "I am too." He then gave you a light kiss on your lips, causing you to blush lightly.

"Hey, let's go home there's something I wanna do with my fiance." He winked at you, only making your light blush even heavier.

"Osamu…" You mumbled his name, but that only made him feel even cockier.

"I know you're excited, darling."

And perhaps you were, and you were excited to go home with your now fiance, but you wouldn't admit to him. But you would always be happy to admit that you married the man who was known as a suicidal maniac. The feeling of being ashamed to have married him would never occur to you…

#fanfiction #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu x reader #bungou stray dogs fluff #bungou stray dogs fanfiction #dazai x reader #christmas special

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hiraya-rawr · 1 year

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hello! i've been following u for quite some time now and i rlly love the way u write!! 🫶 i'm a fellow writer but i'm still comtemplating if i should open a writing blog bcos english is not my first language. sorry i feel like this suddenly turned into a rant/vent message 😣 anyway, the reason i wrote to u is to share smth that's been on my mind for a lil while now! have u watched kimi ni todoke? i recently finished the anime + manga and i rlly loved the whole series! i can't stop myself simping for sawako and it's kinda ironic since in these kinds of romance anime, u typically get hung up with the male lead but it was the opposite for me! kazehaya is sure charming but my little darling sawako is so adorable im willing to burn the world for her 😞 okay i got sidetracked again sorry for my simp ass jdkwkxiw

so i've been thinking of sawako!reader that works for the kamisato clan. long, black hair that usually hides her face — she's kinda feared amongst the workers inside the kamisato estate. always mistaken as a ghost or spirit that roams around the estate when in fact, she's just trying to finish her job. rumors about her seem to worsen everyday that even the loyal and trusted retainer of the head, thoma, thinks it's kind of ridiculous. of course, our ever charming blonde boy tries to interact more with the reader but he feels like he was hated. don't get her wrong tho, she admires thoma so much! who wouldn't? he's lively, respectful and always seemed to be the center of attention, even amongst the maidens that work for the kamisato. she strives to be a person just like him but the reader understands that she somehow scares the people she tries to talk with. worry not, she isn't discouraged by this! she simply has to try next time right? there's always a next time (tho she couldn't help but wonder, when is this next time? why does it take so long?). little did she know, her life's going to be changed when the gentleman himself took it upon his hands to properly talk and get to know her. little by little, her life changed and she even managed to befriend the lady of the house, lady ayaka! the ever kind and loving younger sibling of the kamisato household, ayaka made it her life mission to try and make the reader smile. no one had seen her smile genuinely, and frankly speaking, even thoma and ayaka felt the chills run down their spines when they tried to force her one time to give them a smile. it's safe to say that they never tried it again. ayaka did succeed and it took only a game of hotpot to see how much of a beautiful maiden the reader was, especially with that eyes filled with stars. and archons, the way her lips curl into a small and satisfied smile, thoma suddenly had the urge to keep this smile, only for him to see because gods this girl is so heavenly he was sure others would stop and stare. his eyes widen when he realized his train of thoughts, cheeks burning in embarassment as he berated himself because why would he even try to keep the reader for himself? he's so stupid (and whipped yes, don't tell him i said that), he thought as he silently squirmed in his seat. no one but ayaka noticed the whole ordeal, hiding her own smile behind her fan. oh the fun she would have watching these two, especially her retainer. the pining, the awkward yet satisying interactions, the stealing and fleeting glances—oh, she's so excited! (ayaka is me fr). she can't wait to spill all of these to her brother!

so yeah haha that's all for now, i think i got carried away with this brainrot im so sorry kwkxiwjd

— 🫶

I haven't watched kimi ni todoke! i actually haven't been able to watch anything lately other than bungo stray dogs and moriarty 😭 but this is a scrumptious brainrot, dw about the rant, thank you for sending this in!

#hira - soleicexx #ayato #kamisato ayato #ayato x reader #thoma #genshin thoma #genshin ayato #ayaka

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worksby-d · 2 years

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Hey Destinee. I hope you’re doing well. I just have to vent about something real quick to someone. So, my grandmother passed away 2 days ago, not to trauma dump or make things awkward, but it’s relative to what im sharing. And the day I found out, I ended up having to cancel some plans and consequently tell my friends about it, since I had to cancel some stuff. Anyway, most of my friends have been super supportive and sweet, reaching out to me and seeing if I needed anything. Except for this one girl. The day it happened, she said she was sorry, and then went right back to normal conversation. Like she’s been texting me about being excited about moving into her new apartment and she’s pissed about stuff that she has to do for her apartment and I’m like…hello?? Are you tone-deaf? Do you really think I care about or wanna hear about this shit right now? She hasn’t even asked if I was okay or if I needed anything. It’s not like I expect her to send me a box of fucking chocolates or come to my house while I cry…but talking about all the stuff that’s going on in your life after I JUST shared that my close relative died?? Cmon now. And it’s not that I think she’s a bad person or a bad friend, she can just be extremely ignorant and sometimes selfish. She was raised as an only child and had pretty ‘well off’ parents and sort of had everything handed to her I guess. But she’s a genuinely sweet person and I honestly believe that if she knew she was upsetting me, she’d feel terrible about it and apologize. I just don’t want to bring it up bc I don’t want to make things awkward and I have too much going on rn to worry about arguing with a friend. You know? Anyway, it’s just annoying cause I honestly think I’m a pretty good friend and I pride myself on how I treat my friends, and it’s frustrating when you don’t get the same treatment back that you would give to others. But thanks for your time and letting me vent to this weird tumblr void haha❤️

hi!! oh my, first off, i'm so sorry to hear that :( my grandma passed away last month and it was the hardest thing i've ever gone through, so i hope you're taking care of yourself and continue having good support <3 but that's very strange your friend is doing that. but i think i agree, she probably doesn't realize :(((( i think if it's something you haven't gone through it's kinda hard to comprehend. i've probably done that to people if i think back lol :/ but it's super draining and you're valid for feeling upset about it :(

#reginaphalange2403 #answered

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atypicalstrong · 1 day

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vent incoming

So two of my friends moved to South Korea and weren't able to take their cats with them immediately, so I agreed to foster them for 6 months until their first vacation so they could come collect them.

Little did I know that 3 years later I would still have these cats, because it turns out that importing pets more than 6 months after you immigrate is incredibly difficult, and the owners didn't do any proper research beforehand, and also didn't save any money to get it done. And STILL aren't saving money to get it done, and are instead begging all their associates for money (by taking commissions they aren't actually doing - a mutual friend has literally 30 works they still haven't received) every step of the way when we have to get health tests and certificates and lab reports done.

And it turns out everything we've done so far has been for nothing because its all been in my name, and they're gonna have to redo all the expensive and time consuming tests in their name. Which means finding a vet that will do all this legal paperwork in someone else's name who isn't in the country to verify anything at all and is just taking my word for it. Which is uhhhhhhh an issue to say the least.

I found all this out today first thing in the morning when my friend was like "the pet relocation company says none of this will work so can you and your vet fix it?" And when I was like "I'll ask but I'm pretty sure we have to start over bc anything else would legally be fraud since technically I own your cats right now" (because its been 3 fucking years) they had the fucking GALL to break down crying and say it hurts so much to hear their pets aren't legally theirs, and I have to make my vet fix it because they've been doing a "trash job" (they haven't, they've actually been very helpful and the only fuck up that happened before this was a lab's fault, not my vet's), and they can't afford to do it all again, and that they "need me to be in their corner right now".

And then they just shut down when I tried to offer any solutions that DON'T involve legal fraud. Like coming back and doing it themselves instead of using a company, which is "just not possible" (no reason given when asked why not, literally just silence), or doing it as a "sale" so it makes sense that its all in my name ("that won't work because the regulations are probably different").

Like, I'm sorry you waited until the last minute to check if we were doing everything correctly! But that's not my fault, or my responsibility! I never wanted it to take this long, and I certainly don't want to keep your fucking cats! They keep destroying all my stuff, which you've offered to replace but noticeably haven't! Even if I wanted to, I CAN'T keep your fucking cats because I'm moving next year!

Nevermind I've got a bunch of my own shit going on that y'all don't seem to care about at all, like fighting for disability benefits, and being sued for medical debt (my court date is LITERALLY tomorrow and they haven't asked about it once since I told them last month), and affording rent and food! They're over in South Korea spending all their money on take out and "retail therapy" (and to be fair some genuine unforseen costs, but that just makes the other stuff more infuriating) not saving anything for the cats, while I'm over here going to food banks and hygiene pantries just to stay afloat!

I don't even want to be friends with them anymore at this point! And that really hurts, because there was a time when they were the best friends I'd ever had. But now? After all this? How can they expect me to trust or rely on them, for anything? After everything I've done for them THIS is the thanks I get?

I don't even know what else to say. If they don't SINCERELY apologize for this, and also accept they fucked up by not doing the research or saving any money, and ALSO come to terms with the fact that we have to start over, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Stop being friends with them and rehome the cats, I guess. I don't WANT to do that but I don't think I'll have any other choice.

I've put up with so much and for what. For fucking what. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh...

#atypical rambling

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themidnightcleric · 5 months

Text

TW death, transphobia, blatant suicidality, ableism, terrible thoughts u should not indulge

vent post

..I actually don't think no one loves me. I just fundamentally believe they're wrong and will inevitably be disappointed when they discover I am a husk person not a real human being and that's my fate and believe or not most of this is related to ADHD bc I can't fix it or stick with anything and all the meds make me sick so I feel doomed to do fuck all until I rot and die. Every time I get hopeful my body betrays me. Fucking MCAS.

Icannot emphasize enough that I will take myself out of at least run off into the woods to try and live like an animal, if something does not change in the next 2 years to make it possible for me to exist in society. Like getting disability j guess would help. I am a dog. Not a person. I cannot give anymore.

it is not worth living this way. Every day is an endless punishment for all the things I cannot do and at this point the pit is so deep i will not get out.

And so like posting in this way and alienating myself are a way of pushing everyone out but simultaneously hoping somehow the cry for help will reach someone who can genuinely help me. I know this isn't me, this isn't the bigger spirit that animates me speaking this is the thing that wants to kill me, but can't even show itself to the people who say they love me. We have seen too much and the desire to destroy something significant is getting stronger. I guess this is an admission I understand su*cide bombers and crave going out burning a bank or a church or a detention center. simultaneously a desperate plea for someone to show me some kind of other way that isn't this plodding, hesitating half life. Two of my friends before I left my home state told me I should have been dead by now. I know what they meant and it's great I am alive but I don't see a future other than death. It's so close, so intimate. I go to sleep with death every night waiting for her. The funny thing is not many people I know closely have died. If they had it actually might be easier like I could live for them. But instead it feels like I'm the one who is supposed to die. I live with that every day and I know I'm not the only one but with everything that's happening I no longer can believe things will get better. I'm just trying to do as much good as I can before it comes for me. I don't see anyone who really needs me here. Or wants me bad enough to merit staying. Like it's all pipe dreams, could have beens, obligations. Fake. In the clouds.

I haven't been real since I was a kid.

I'm sorry y'all. I'm really sorry. I don't know if it will even matter when it happens. Like a candle burning out. Who is gonna notice beyond another little wave of sad posts. Currently I'll probably be buried by my family as a woman. They'll say it was inevitable. I was always so mentally unwell. Kill me and blame me for it.

I have so many ideas and so much passion but no discipline for it and frankly I feel like a piece of paper god put a sketch on and crumpled up and threw away. Like that episode of Gravity Falls where Dipper clones himself and there's a Glitch Dipper who everyone sort of feels bad for until he dies. Two headed calf. All I have ever tried to be is kind while people saw more in me than I could give or sustain. At least I got to see the stars.

My soul is good but it can't live here on this plane right now. It doesn't want to. All the people I love are fighters who metabolize everything into medicine and power for the future or at least stick around hedonistically. I am not built like that. I find no pleasure in pleasure. I am weak and too fragile to exist by myself and at every turn am reminded of this. I try to play it off as kink or funny but really, I don't think anyone can survive the level of self erasure that my system has developed.

My friend keeps telling me to play Disco Elysium but it's 40 dollars and I have to save all my $ for gas and credit card payment. To be responsible. Why do I even fucking care. I'm scared if I stop caring anymore I will just let go and become fully catatonic.

Hopefully this is rock bottom and somehow I will bounce up into a new perspective tomorrow. I pushed myself into burnout because all this messaging online about Palestine and genocide is like you aren't doing enough and that really really works against my ability to do anything like the PDA I cannot help and have been fighting my whole life to just like, brush my teeth. I can't watch these people beg for help and so many turn away in hatred and then not even make phone calls. I am trying to look for the helpers but I think the fascists want to kill all of us.

It's gonna take a miracle to get through this winter. I wish I could show somebody how desperate I feel. The pills are right there. I never get rid of them. I could do it tonight. But I won't.

I don't know how long you have to scream for help. I don't think it helps anyone. People fall down the spiral. Maybe there is something to live for for others but for me, it's all conjecture. I have full responsibility to bring about everything that I could live for. If I give up, it doesn't happen. If I give up, the good things in this world go on without me. No one ever knew me really. I feel so fundamentally separated & invisible.

I'm mad I feel this way and am wasting my life talent and time. I am tired of being depressed and low key a shitty friend. I am ready for God to take me and use me for some new form of life that has a fighting chance to be something.

If only that weren't just a delusion. I wanted my life to mean something and leave a mark but at the end of the day this voice tells me it's not even worth that, that no one will remember me.

Pathetic. Jesus. How do you fight this.

I'm tired.

I'll keep fighting another day at a time. But there's no way to be okay right now. I have to live with this person the world has made me into and let go of who we could have been with more love.

#my writing #personal

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fireowll · 2 years

Note

Omg that sounds horrible!!! First off, what kind of jokes are those?? Its clearly not funny to read something your friend explicitly didn't want you to read!! And shipping them with their bully?? Like, seriously??

And, the bullying sounds terrible!!!! Like, genuinely why tf would you call someone an ogre and take their things?? And making loud noises to scare them?? Ughh

You really should throw your notebook at him!!

Hopefully, things start getting better <33

Amd great to know you like your new hair colour!! Purple sounds really cool!! >:00 And drawing's so much fun!!! I ended up finishing my sketchbook of a month yesterday and had to get a new one ^^;

Ive been doing somewhat okay! But recently things started being really horrible for me, so i ended up fighting with a friend while venting at the same time… she said its fine and that i can vent to her anytime and she'll listen, so im in love with her now (in a platonic way ofc)

About eating well… ive skipped eating dinner like 4 times in a row, so yeah thats not going too well, but i have been sleeping well tho!!

As for something good happening, today im gonna meet to of my friends!! Its not rlly been so long since ive hung out with them individually, but the three of is haven't hung out ever since i left dance class, so im pretty excited!!

Once again, i hope things get better for you soon!!! Sending you all my positive energy to cheer you up!! Also if you ever need to vent or smth, know im always there for you <33

yes, i was quite upset with the two of them who read the thing i didn't want them to read and i'm building up the courage and waiting for the right moment to talk to them about their "jokes". only one of them shipps me with the bully, but the two keep talking about me dating someone, although it's clear that i don't like these jokes. the girl who shipps me with the bully shipps me with anyone who breathes the same air as me /hj. and the two keep trying to see my screen when i use my phone or they try to grab my phone to try to find some non-existent "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". it's annoying. as soon as i get the chance to, i'll try to talk to them about it (gotta see if they'll take this seriously because they never seem to take things seriously).

yeah, the bully doesn't just mess with me. i see him stealing other people's backpacks at recess, he keeps calling me and my friends schizophrenic (in a negative way), he keeps teasing and hitting another friend of mine (which thank god has more sense than the other two). and he is always making a mess in the classroom, it doesn't matter how much the teachers try to make him stop, it's no use. he's always been like that since he was a kid, i've studied with him at another school before this one.

yeah!! i love purple so so so much!!!! :D also i was working on changing some things in my oc, and i think so far i'm liking the result :DD

i'm glad you're doing okkaiy :) and i'm sorry about the horrible things, i hope your friend is a good person and hope things get better :] i'm glad you're sleeping well but please tell me you've at least been eating lunch, snacks. and please if you feel hungry and have a headache try to eat something. also i hope you have fun with your friends!!! :D

thank you so so much for all the support, i love you all /p, you all are so sweet and i'm glad that you guys won't be mad at me. but hey! keep half of your positive energy for you too, you should also have it! but seriously thank you, it's good to know i can count on someone <33

#lua talks #𓆩 ☆ 𓆪... anya! ⋆

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positivementalaxolotl · 2 years

Text

A rant feel free to ignore

When your brother says you're "dangling money you owe him over his head" but it wasn't money you owed him it was money you offered him without any expectation of repayment back and he started trying to gaslight you and your mom into thinking you were name-calling him in the middle of the store.

All this while he currently actually owes you $700 because you were able to get his cat to the vet

And then when you point all of this out to him he says that he won't give you the cat that you're paying him for

All while him STILL owing you $700, plus soon to be $250 more for "searching fees" while the cat was out of the house for about a week. He wanted to do that to me while he was going to sell me the cat by charging me $150 for a cat he got for $50, without telling me all of the fee's he'd be including.

I get he needs money for his top surgery, but this is absolutely ridiculous, over-charging someone who's been so supportive of him and has backed him up in so many arguments with our family- I gave him most of the money I earned from my first job with the expectation that he'd pay me back despite the fact that I wanted to be able to spend my own money! I helped him get his first job over a year later, he's threatened not to pay me back at least twice since we made the agreement, he already screwed me over with my previous pet rats by convincing my mom and the rats previous owner that I was abusing them or neglecting them when that was the farthest from the truth.

But it genuinely was my fault. I should have trusted the person my brother bought the cat from more than him. By the way the person who owned the cat before was my drug addicted cousin who doesn't take care of animals and probably would have just left him here anyways for me to take care of. She was talking about selling him to me and I'm pretty sure she would have kept him at the house for me to "babysit" until I paid her the money directly. Would have only costed me $50.

I'm so sorry for this rant I just don't think I can talk about this with my friend because like- the last 3 times I've talked to them it was because I was having problems and needed to vent to them. I've been busy with work and I haven't had the time to talk otherwise because again, the cat got out and I was spending hours upon hours looking for him- I got chased by deer twice looking for this cat! Honestly $250 is going too easy on him with how he's been treating me but no one else in my family would agree with that- though none of them are happy with him either.

All of this because a different sibling asked you to wash something in with your brothers laundry (Which he was also having me do to try to get money off of the fee for the cat) and when you were about to he started flipping his shit because he simply "didn't feel comfortable with it". Like??? It's all going to be clean laundry by the end of it nothing is going to contaminate anything else because it'll all be clean laundry by the end of it- he seriously said it was because "He wasn't comfortable adding germs to his laundry before they were going to get clean and he didn't want whatever was on this siblings grubby hands all over his laundry"

If you got to this point I apologize again and thank you for listening. I've been so stressed lately with my new job, having been searching and worrying about this cat for a week and worrying about how to pay my brother back because he specifically wants the money before his top surgery to help pay for all the stuff he needs for it. Now he's complaining because there's a chance that I won't be able to pay him before that but I put up a gofundme to try to help get him the money he needs sooner. I've had people ask me about the what all the money was going for but I may need to let them all know that the gofundme is off because my brother is a pos

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threepointseven · 2 years

Note

hi im breaking down suddenly because i miss my older brothers that are in college - i was told awhile ago that i'd be able to see them during christmas then after they say it wouldn't be possible

so i just want some comfort for it by Scaramohcie as always and Venti since it's somewhat similar to his feelings i guess

- 👩‍🦲

Vent; ☹️

i haven't seen them for half the year already and my eldest brother the first time he went to college in Japan I cried basically everyday and tried clinging onto my other brother as they're only one year apart and due to covid our eldest brother had to come back so i got used to it for awhile but since my father was bored he decided to fly across the country for fun so i also had to go. since the conditions of covid aren't too drastic they're able to attend college properly and they're both in different colleges with same study topic though. anyways i was somewhat disappointed that i couldn't even see their faces through video call during my birthday along with our mother's (november 3rd & 11th) so now i was reminded about them not being able to come here to celebrate christamans

i feel like im being a spoiled child even though im being gifted by my parents friends and some relatives, that i'm just being ridiculous that i'm still not accustomed to it yet - sorry it's so long 😔 merry christanmnas by the way

Comfort

🌺summary!🌺- Scaramouche and venti when your crying and need comfort<3

Type-HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= scaramouche x gn! Reader, venti x gn! Reader

Note🍀= hiya 👩‍🦲anon! Im sorry that you have to deal with this. I know how it feels to have a sibling be away for college and just so ya know i’ll always be here for you okay? My inbox is always open to vent and you can message me any time. I hope scara and venti comforting you can cheer you up a bit. Your loved and safe with me alr!! I hope you know i cherish you and im sure your brothers cherish you just as much as you do, & your not a spoiled child at all. Its human instinct to miss someone you grew up with, dont let those thoughts get to ya okay? I love u, hope you like it!

Genshin masterlist

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

Scaramouche

-Well, he’s never been great at comforting, and in any case being gentle at all. He’s simply not used to it.

-But when he catches you on the bathroom floor sobbing with a letter in your hands he cant help but feel terrible.

-He really does try his best even with his rigid attempt at comforting, give him some time. He calms you down enough to take you to your bedroom where he looks at you with an expression of genuine empathy and hesitantly pulls you into a hug, hovering over you almost as an ask for permission before hugging you tight, burying your face into his shoulder.

- he has trouble with it but he’ll try his best to stop you from crying, he wipes away your tears with his thumb as he furrows his brows thinking about what to do.

- he tries his best not to be so aggressive but he just ends up being really passive aggressive.

- during these moments he is not a communication guy, he’ll pour all his love and soul into making you feel comforted with the rare touch he gives you.

- the hugs always seem endless and filled with love while he whispers “its gonna be okay” in such a monotone voice

- He really cant console you or anyone but he wants you to feel better so he’ll also give you practically anything you want, if its snacks or sweets he’ll happily buy you some

- hes patting your head and combing through your hair with his hands as you cry into his shirt- “your gonna stain my white shirt.. “-“so needy..”

- dont listen to the words, by the looks of his eyes you know hes so soft, on the verge of a breakdown himself after seeing you so miserable, he hates every moment when your down, he becomes more rude and more reserved to people that arent you, putting all of his attention on you and trying his best not to let you cry again

Venti

- When he sees you bawling on your bed with your hands to your face his facial expression twists into a horrified one before running to your side and kissing your temples slowly

- He does everything to distract you from that annoying feeling of emptiness

- He’ll kiss every part of your face to get a small smile on your face and try to let your mind take a break from the thought of the thing thats causing you trouble,

- He advises you to just cry it out and he pulls you into his lap while kisses your forehead before letting you sob on his shirt. He doesnt mind it and once in a while gives a bit of commentary

- Despite how sad it makes him watching you cry and scream he knows your gonna feel better after letting it out so he just stays still, patting your head and listening to your vent.

- After your done crying he tried to take your mind off things and put a smile on your face. He plays your favorite songs on the lyre, singing into your ear while he attacks you with tickles, he needs to see you smile again.

- He gives you snacks and food to cheer you up and he offers to take a stroll around windrise or stargaze.

- And maybe if you just need some peaceful cuddling he’ll happily cooperate. He’ll be as close as humanly possible to you, kissing your cheeks and your stray tears away.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin imagines #genshin scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #genshin venti x reader #venti x you #venti x reader #venti x y/n

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sevdoesnotexist · 2 years

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Hey do you know what happened to @cock-dealer/morg? Sorry for the random ask i saw you reply often but like. i was offline for like a week straigh5 and now hes gone + im genuinely sad and also worried bc he was one of my fave bloggers lmao is he okay?

Hey so a lot has happened since March if you haven't been around. Essentially (from my understanding), Morg experienced abuse at the hands of medical staff during a hospital stay that left him in a really bad place dealing with the trauma that was brought on by that. He is and was often posting about his poor mental health and suicidal ideation.

A few weeks ago he had attempted to kill himself, I don't know him well enough to say what attempt # it was for him overall but I'll say "the first time" even though I don't think it was. In around this time too, there was "slur discourse" happening around who should and shouldn't call themselves a cripple and a lot of discussion around honouring Tai's memory by respecting the origins and meaning behind the cripplepunk movement.

A lot of emotions were running high and honestly I had seen the discourse in the community as petty insquabbling until shit hit the fan. I was kinda not touching it past my opinion on cripple being a slur that only some people can reclaim. Anyways through this discourse Morg had been receiving a lot of anon asks egging him on, telling him he's a shit person, really just generally horrible stuff and some anons who weren't necessarily approaching in bad faith got caught in the crossfire, which those interactions were used by the handful of people vocally disagreeing with Morg to further the narrative that he was a Big Bad Exclusionist™

Eventually Morg got pushed past the point of frustration and presumably while under the influence of whatever he had taken in an attempt to take his life or I also know he has mentioned the stress of it let to a psychotic episode which seems to make a lot of sense to me. Basically, he sent an anon to one of the people who was one of the instigators and main users furthering the discourse vaspider an ask that read along the lines "you got what you wanted" and posted that he had tried to kill himself for the "second" time. Around this time I know I was personally very worried and constantly refreshed his blog and sent him anons with kind messages like everyday just trying to combat the SHEER amount of hatred he was receiving not FROM users like vaspider and happysadyoyo but BECAUSE of how they were framing his mental health crisis was definately resulting in MASSIVE amounts of anon hate and suicide baiting.

The final straw for me is when I made a vent post about my feelings on the matter and vaspider literally shouted me down and called me an asshole for venting about my medical trauma and my feelings on the cripplepunk discourse. It was a really mask off moment for me I think they felt like betrayed that I didn't side with them since we were mutuals or something but regardless it made me really uncomfortable and honestly was incredibly triggering also so I blocked them as well as y'know, whoever I felt like, as I'm allowed to :))

Then like a week after that all happened, happysadyoyo, a user who WAS mutuals with me and vaspider but had actually NEVER interacted with Morg in his life, made a fucking YOUTUBE VIDEO about morgs suicide attempt, relating it to the show Thirteen Reasons Why and his own time spent being a manipulative asshole, essentially trying to insinuate that Morg had tried to take his life as a way to guilt and manipulate someone over Internet slur discourse. Yup. I was disgusted by the behaviour and openly said as much. The link is actually still up as far as I'm aware, yoyocunt refused to take the video or even the post with the link down, citing "his own psychosis"

From there I guess people who were watching this happen to Morg from the sidelines thought it would be funny to give those users a taste of their own medicine and started sending them a lot if gross anon hate including stuff like scat porn. I also think this was probably an attempt by some to paint Morg and his followers in a bad light. I mean while we had a giggle over the misfortune of people who had been royal douche canoes, we also all have made it pretty clear that we don't condone sexual harassment or suicide baiting. Those users often take screenshots of posts Morg makes without the context of a reblog or the notes cropped out in order to give the impression Morg is like, actively telling his followers to send them death threats and poop vids but like, that's just not the case.

So like you missed the most batshit insane turn of events, I don't think I covered everything concisely because I'm high but yeah basically people started disrespecting a dead kids movement and memory as well as trying to villainize a mentally ill trans dude for disagreeing with them and being rude about it

And, he's still here by the way, he's just @penis-peeper now.

#answered #ask #cpunk #ableism #Morg #penis-peeper #cock-dealer

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jimkirkachu · 2 years

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Hey Jim, I'm really proud of you for coming out to your family & I'm sorry they're not making the effort to help you understand yourself. I know how difficult it is to settle into your identity is when you have to figure it out yourself & having people repeatedly misgender you makes it even harder. I also hope you don't take the negative AO3 comment to heart & just delete it. I'm sure if you read the rest of your inbox, you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Oh my friend 🫂💔😭💙💛 thank you so much for your encouragement. You're so kind and good to me and I don't deserve it but I love you so much 🫂💜😭😭😭

(gender stuff, fandom-related insecurity/paranoia/self-pity ahead)

People have told me before that it's okay for me to vent here because nobody is being forced to read this crap or follow me, but I still feel like a douche canoe any time I complain here about anything that has to do with my "real life," because I'm so incredibly fortunate and privileged. At least outwardly, my (closest) family has accepted my nb-ness / questioning and I'm overwhelmingly grateful for that. I haven't been disowned, or kicked out of the house, or laughed at... like I said, enormous unearned privilege/good fortune. And ironically, having a few people "in the know" who are still talking to/about me the way they did for 31 years, while frustrating, has genuinely been helping me better understand that I definitely don't identify with my birth-assigned gender or its pronouns anymore, if I ever really did at all. 🤔 It seems to be a matter now of "how long can I continue to pretend the misgendering doesn't bother me when it's coming from my parents," because, lest we forget, I'm still intensely nonconfrontational, afraid of being an inconvenience or a burden to others, terrified of taking up space or standing up for myself, and thoroughly convinced of my own utter worthlessness. 😬

As for the ao3 comment that I have no doubt blown way out of proportion 🤦😣 I'm... I don't know. It has finally taken a backseat in my mind to other concerns, so that's an improvement. But it's going to take a long time to dust myself off from all of this; the comment in question was really just the straw that broke my back after spending the last 2 years having an extremely prolonged existential crisis in regards to my "place" (or lack thereof) in the fandom. I've been feeling really bad/lousy/insecure about my work and my ability to "fit in" or contribute (without also annoying people to death) ever since an incident in the 2020 big bang discord server got under my skin and has just kept on burrowing into my mind and soul like a poisoned splinter ever since.

I don't write fics that are appropriate / desirable / worthy of inclusion in zines or rec lists or what-have-you. I don't know anything about any of the new Trek series or characters or timelines or whatever the hell else because I went and got my ptsd triggered while watching season 1 of Discovery and had to promise myself not to watch anything else produced by the current franchise-runners in the interest of self-preservation. And original series K/S is my only ship, my only fandom interest, the only [hyper-]fixation I've had for at least 6 years now. The harsh fact that I'm simply out of touch and irrelevant has been making me question why I'm even still trying to maintain any kind of online presence at all... and yet my fics and my online friends here have been essentially the only things that have motivated me to keep Living in the last 4+ years. 🤔 So... I'm a mess all over, and not just because of that comment (it clearly didn't help matters any, though). 🤦🤷 (And yet and yet... being a mess is my Thing, like, it's the one thing I'm consistently good at. So although it sucks, I'm also accustomed to it, in a lot of ways. 🙁😬👍)

Thank you, as always, dear, for being my friend and saying such sweet, generous things. I love you (and everybody who has put up with the pain of knowing/interacting with me 💜), and given the especially difficult past few months (both personally and in regards to the state of the US and the world), I'm just really, really grateful to know I'm not alone. 💜🫂💜🫂 Take care, you. 🖖🫂💛💙

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abyssalhuntersnerd · 2 years

Text

Really wanted make a vent post again today... A bit different than usual though.

I want to make one to myself. I wanna vent to myself about me. My behavior. So let's just... Do that. You know the drill, don't read if you don't wanna. It's just me helping myself out by writing down these things. It's soothing, in a way.

I've been doing a lot of thinking today. I feel like... It would be good to share these thoughts. And I like doing so in the first place, you know? This is my little safe space. I like telling you guys about the good and bad things. It's important. Life ain't bright and perfect all the time.

...Also because, well. *Points at her AO3* Gotta tell you why that thing is kinda... Dead.

You ever sit down and realize where the root of your damn problem was? Cause I did today. I finally accepted it. I'm the problem. The way I feel is the biggest issue here. The fact that I haven't been able to move on, is what's truly holding me back from going nuts from a personal and creative standpoint.

I'm so pissed at myself. I am so enraged at the way I've been feeling. Why am I so damn stubborn?

You've probably wondered why the hell I haven't posted anything for Stultifera Navis. Seeing how I've been just as excited if not, more than I was back when UT came out. I wrote a damn 5k fic for that. Why can't I do so too now? Why is it only 3k and not finished? Why am I so stuck? Why am I feeling so sorry for myself?

See, it's not just work and life grabbing me by the throat that are preventing me from doing that. No. It's myself.

I kept telling myself that I was over the hate. The fear of certain people's words being true. That fact, that the people around me could be fake. These things, these damned comments have been in my mind for months. Every day. Always there, lurking. It's been so damn annoying. It's been weighing me down. I've got a lot on my plate already and it's... It's been hard. I want a break from my family. I want to sleep properly. I want to find a way to make my damn skin condition better. I wanna go back to school. I want to do so many things.

I didn't... Can you believe I didn't even block these people? It took me months. Months to realize that it was ok for me to do so. Why couldn't I do it? Why? They don't know me. They weren't there for when my stuff blew up overtime.

And then I fucking realized. I thought: "Sara, you think they are right. The reason why you can't get over this, is because you think they are right. Yet, you know they aren't. You've been here for long enough to know that. You started from the bottom like everyone else. Look at all what you've done. All the work, the hours, the tears, the laughs and all the love you put into your stories. Sara... Do you fucking know who you are? Have you forgetten the kind of person you are? I've never given up. Ever."

And god, it felt so liberating. It might sound like I'm being a selfish bitch when I say this but... The hell y'all. I've been at this for a while. I've gotten so many comments, asks, random people on the internet and even very close friends tell me the same thing over and over again: "You've created something special. You've made me love these characters on a whole other level. You've made me feel wonderful things through your writing. Your love for these characters is contagious and we love it."

I've worked my ass off to be here. It's never been my job to make people love these characters in the first place or be someone like this. Never has been about that. I did these things, wrote what I did because I genuinely wanted to express the love I had for them. It's just that along the way, people liked what I did and decided to support me.

Real people. Not myself.

Who am I? I'm Sara. I'm SaraCF, AbyssalHuntersNerd, Soldia- I'm the person who has loved these girls since day one. Goddamn. I've created a beautiful community. It's small for most, but for me it's the biggest thing I've ever done. I thought about what someone told me today. How excited they were when I told them I might share a preview soon. How they couldn't wait to read more of my stuff. How someone told me back then that what I did was special. How someone told me that my stuff is their favorite.

"Sara, where did the love go?"

That's what I've been asking myself. Ever since SN came out.

Nowhere. It's gone nowhere. It's always been here. It's just that I simply held myself back because of stupid reasons. And what if I like the Abyssals? And what I like Specter Alter? And what if I'm excited when most people aren't? And what if I wanna scream and cry about them? And what if I wanna write a story because of this event?

Negativity gets to you. Most of us aren't born with thick skin. We are sensitive to these things, we cry over them and time doesn't always make us stronger. We just have to learn how to take these feelings and manage them to a point where they don't hurt as much. Where they don't drag us down.

My... My grandma used to say: "Hate only stems from anger and jealousy." And she was right. I was angry. Angry at myself because I believed them. I've been fighting for so long to not let stuff like this get to me anymore. I was bullied for a long time. 13 years. Almost my whole life. I'm 20. 21 next months. I'm so familiar with it. This feeling. I thought it didn't get to me as much as it did before.

But it still does. And that's ok. I'm human. But I can't let it define me anymore. I can't let it hold myself back from writing all of the things I wanna write.

Goddamn it Sara. You know you need it. Write them going feral! Being emotional! Being frustrated! Do it! No one is holding you back! Sit down and do it, gillipollas! You've been hoping for Specter to wake up for 2 AND A HALF YEARS!!! And now that it's finally happened you are gonna let yourself be affected by the other's negativity!? The hell!! You've read mean comments before!! How are these any different!? You gotta learn that's it's ok to do the things you want!!! It's about time you do!!!

I'll write something for Stultifera Navis's release. I'll thank people for all the love they've given me again. I'll thank them for their wonderful comments. I'll answer all the asks I get, the reblogs anything I get here too- Because they are all real. Just as much as me and the emotions I feel. I'll do it because I want to and not feel obligated to do so.

So if you don't like it, don't read it. If you are pissed because my stuff is so high, simply ignore it. It took 2 years to be there. Didn't happen over night. Ask my damn followers. They know. The little fishes now. The old and the new ones. I have screenshots, videos of the times my stories went up.

So no more holding back. No more feeling sorry for myself. No more stupid thoughts. I'm not gonna let myself ruin the only good thing I've had in a while. Let me write in peace.

And it will feel great when I do so.

Because that's what I want to do. I made something I love with all the love in the world. I'll continue to defend and love my girls until this game is gone.

This is my space. I made my decision once I posted "Who We Were" two years ago. I do this because I want to. And no one else will tell me what to do and not to do. And if you don't like it, then simply get out of here. Saves us trouble for the both of us.

Has this whole thing been about me, being confident? No. It's about me understanding that I have some damn self worth.

I'll go nuts. For my little fishes, for my girls and above all else, for myself.

#normal posts

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atsuwiee · 3 years

Text

it's quite uptown :: p.sh

genre: angst pairing: park sunghoon x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of suicide tel's note: i seriously made this as my vent one time, but i guess i'll publish it now- also this is kinda a sensitive fic i wrote, please don't continue since it may trigger you! (wrote this while crying to hamilton yes)

there are moments that the words don't reach there is suffering too terrible to name.

sunghoon felt terribly empty. he focused more on work, practicing, in hopes it would distract him. did he ever feel distracted? never, his thoughts still contained of you.

it feels as if you're everywhere, there was nothing that did not remind him of you. the rest of the members looked out for him, everyday there was not a sight where he'd genuinely smile.

everything has changed within him.

"you've reached my voicemail! unfortunately i can not come to the phone right now, so please leave a message!" your voicemail played after sunghoon called your phone, he knows you won't answer, but your voice- oh god, no words can express how much he misses it. it was late at night, and when he couldn't sleep he reached for his phone and called yours.

as if it had slowly became his routine.

hot tears fell onto his pillow as soft words came out of his mouth "i-i miss you y/n-ah, i can't sleep, will you help me? help me fall asleep... please?" he asked as if you were going to even answer. slowly, he had gotten up from bed to grab a glass of water only to be greeted by heeseung and riki.

"can't sleep?" heeseung asked. "yeah..." sunghoon said softly as he grabbed a glass. "you've been crying, have you?" heeseung asked as sunghoon just nodded. "go visit y/n, hyung, you haven't visited them since" riki suggests. riki was right, he hasn't visited you ever since you were gone. "i will" sunghoon said softly.

as the group danced and practiced for upcoming shows, sunghoon's phone rang continuously, "i'll take this for a second!" he said as he grabbed his phone. the caller id shocked him, it was your mother calling him.

"ms. l/n? is there something wrong?"

"y/n-" sunghoon felt confused, and he had noticed your mother's tone was different. "y/n? what happened to y/n?" he asked as worried did fill him.

"y/n is gone- they're gone" sobs could now be heard over the phone. it felt as if sunghoon was punched in the stomach. "right now we're at the seoul district hospital- y/n didn't make it" sunghoon couldn't understand what was happening but the urge to rush to you was strong. "i'm heading there, please wait for me" the call ended and the members looked at him with worried looks.

"i have to go... it's an emergency" sunghoon said and rushed to the door.

once he had arrived, he saw your family clearly sobbing. "what happened?" sunghoon asked. "we found them in the bathtub- unconscious, blood all over" your sibling explains, sunghoon then looked at the room. the room with a person who has cloth over them.

he stepped closer- and closer, to the body that was covered. sunghoon couldn't speak as he had removed the cover- to see your face- there was no sign of life nor warmth in it. tears then fell, continuously, it couldn't stop.

sunghoon arrived to where you were staying, flowers in his hand. "i'm here, love" he said as he bent down to put the flowers near your tomb. "i miss you... so damn much" sunghoon said, tears threatening to fall.

he has reread your letter all over again after your passing

to my dearest, you are my favorite part of life, thank you for teaching me how to love. sadly, i can not be here forever. i'm sorry that i'm about to leave you but you deserve someone better- someone who'll be there by you always- find someone better than me. i love you always, park sunghoon.

love, y/n

did you not know that he couldn't find someone better than you? tears fell once again and turned into soft sobs. he blamed himself for everything, how could he not have known about this? how could he not know you were feeling like utter shit? sunghoon asked that himself everyday after you passed on.

words of reassurance did not help him at all, he was still convinced it was his fault. "forgive me, y/n, for not being there when i needed to" he said while he choked on his tears. he blamed himself for having to focus more on work instead of you, if he had sacrificed a little of his time then he would have made up for the lost time with you.

oh how he wished time could be rewinded, but the world kept moving forward. sunghoon is forced to move on. though, as the days became week and months had turned into a year; at the back of his head, the thought of you remained.

we push away what we can never understand we push away the unimaginable.

#enhypen #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #enhypen oneshots #park sunghoon #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon angst #lee heeseung #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #ni-ki #nishimura riki #enhypen imagines

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kino-alternative · 3 years

Text

“ To Be Someone ”

|| Hajime Hinata X Gender Neutral!Reader ||

❀ There he stood, staring at the huge building in front of him. The building in front of him was Hope's Peak Academy, the school of the talented and gifted.

From sports stars, singers, musicians to something as big as a yakuza, princess, heck- even something as complicated as luck. Those that excel at their own specific talent that no average person could reach are called an Ultimate.

That's what Hajime Hinata dreamed to be. Someone with an ultimate. Someone with talent. To be someone. Though, he is nothing but an average, normal, talentless and good for nothing reserve course student. That was him. He was nobody. A nobody who could only dream.

Hajime gripped on the strap of his bag as his eyebrows furrowed. Just dreaming. A dream that won't become reality. He turned around, looking at the ground as he began to walk away from the main building.

As he continued to walk to the Reserve Course Department, someone else passed by him and headed to the main building. Hajime stopped his tracks and turned his head to look behind him. Sakura petals blocked his view. The only thing he could see was the main building uniform and the keychain clipped onto their bag.

Soon enough, the person disappeared from sight when the gates closed. Hajime continued to stare, his eyes glistened before tearing away his gaze and walking back to his original destination.

❀ Leaning on the bench of the park located in between the two schools, Hajime let out a long sigh of exhaustion. Throwing his head back, he admired the orange-red-yellow mixed sky. It was quiet. No one really went to the park since the talentless and talented refused to meet each other.. or something like that.

Huh? what was that? Is that... Is someone humming? Before Hajime could even lift his head, he gave in. He couldn't help but let himself relax to it. It was soothing and comforting. Like most sappy writers describe, it felt like a warm hug or being cradled gently like a baby.

Bringing himself back to reality, he opened his eyes and lifted his head. He then turned around to look behind him. There, he spotted a familiar looking keychain and the main building uniform. This was the person from before. What were they doing here?

The person opened their eyes, revealing a (E/C} color. They stared right back at him, their humming stopped as silence once again returned. Both took this as their chance to get a better look of the other.

They opened their mouth, their eyebrows raised "You're...The boy from before, right?" Hajime slowly nodded, almost hesitantly "Y-Yeah.. Are you..?" He trailed off once they answered with a nod as well. The boy thought for a moment. He wanted to ask them something but wasn't quite sure if it's okay.

After debating in his head and listing the cons and pros, he opened his mouth and asked "If you don't mind me asking...What were you doing at the Reserve Course Department?" Dang it. That came out rude.

They didn't seem to pay any mind to it and furrowed their eyebrows, a smile forming on their face. "You want to be an Ultimate someday... Right?" Before he could respond to their rather true assumption, they added on "The same goes for me...Just the exact opposite of what you want to be"

Opposite? "The exact opposite of what I want to be...?" Hajime slowly repeated as he processed their answer. The gears in his head started to turn when it clicked, his eyes slowly widening while at it. "You... Want to be a Reserve Course Student?"

They nodded.

He was confused.

"Why-" "Maybe some other time" They cut him off, standing up from their seat and grabbing their bag as they put their earphones and phone away. They began to walk back to the main department, stopping for a moment and looking at the brunette. Raising their hand and smiling, they said "See ya! Oh, and don't forget to tell me your name, alright?"

Before the boy could even utter a word or sound, the same kind of petals once again blocked his view. And once they were out of his sight, the person was already gone.

Hajime didn't noticed until now that his hand was reached out. He looked at it and stared at his palm. The exact opposite of what he wanted to be. That was their reasoning.

Unlike him, a person who wishes to have talent... Wishes to be someone special... They want to be a person who has no talent? Do they wish to be someone ordinary?

❀ Back in front of the gates of Hope's Peak Academy. Hajime sighed, lowering his head. He still didn't quite understood why the person wanted to be like him. To be nobody.

"Ah, so you are here" He flinched and immediately turned around. There standing with their usual smile was the person themselves. They raised their hand, waved it "Hey" "S-Sorry.. Er.." That's right. They still haven't introduced to each other.

The person then walked to his side, staring at the main building. Though, unlike him, their eyes weren't filled with any positive emotions or even a tiny bit of admiration. It was just blank. No interest whatsoever.

He wonders why that is.

"We haven't introduced to each other yet, right?" They asked, their eyes now staring at his. Hajime blinked and nodded "Yeah.." The person faced him, pointing a finger at themselves, "I'm Y/N L/N, Ultimate Music Writer" They held out their hand for him to take and shake.

Hajime smiled awkwardly and took their hand "I'm Hajime Hinata. Reserve Course Student"

Their hand was warm/cold. How comforting.

"Well, Hajime, I don't normally go to class... Do you have enough time left before school starts?" Y/N asked with a tilt of their head, their eyebrows raising. Hajime pulled out his phone and pressed the on button, his screen opening and there said the time. Oh, he was- An hour early!? Since when!?

He decided not to ask and simply nodded at the person, "Yeah. At the park?" He asked back. They grinned and turned around, "Mhmm, c'mon"

The walk there was filled with small talk, just to ease the tension just a bit and get to know each other. Asking the basic questions, what do you like to do? Any hobbies? Etc...

Although Hajime - he believes - had pretty basic answers, Y/N didn't seem to mind at all and continued on.

Once they get to their destination, they sat on one of the benches.

Hajime glanced at them for a split second before looking at the fountain. He decided to think and zone out for a bit. Asking questions to himself as he pondered...

Is it okay for me to ask them?

Is it too early?

Before his thoughts could fully consume him, his mouth open and said on it's own "You don't have to tell me now. I think we should try to get each other first" Y/N stared at him , their eyes slightly wide. Ah, they didn't expect that. Neither did Hajime himself.

Y/N had a smile, a smile that you could tell was relief. Relief of not having to tell something you don't want to. They closed their eyes and thanked the brunette, "Agreed. Thanks"

Hajime couldn't help but smile back as well. Relief of not choosing/saying the wrong thing. "So, you were saying?" He asked with a tone to signal them. With that, the subject changed as the ultimate rambled "Oh! Right! Apparently, that wasn't the actual-"

❀ Everyday. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. They would meet at the park. The place that stored many memories between the two opposite students from the two different buildings. They would laugh. They would fight. They would vent. They would even stay quiet and still managed to enjoy their time together.

They would be there for the other when they need them most.

"Ah, there you are" Y/N smiled as they raised and turned their from the phone in their hands to the brunette walking towards them. They let out a hum. A hum that signals that they knew what the other was feeling. They set their phone down and asked, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Hajime, despite the fake smile on his face, knew better than to lie to them. Especially since the two have been best friends for a while now. Although he doesn't want to bother them, he was quite glad that someone asked him and actually sounded genuinely concern.

The boy sat down beside them, throwing his head back as he closed his eyes. With a sigh, he said "The leaves are green" That, indeed, was true. Y/N tilted their head, nodding slowly, "I see... Who or what? Why?" But to them, that meant something else.

As cheesy as it sounds, the music writer once told him that they had an idea. Specifically, signal ideas. Hajime, of course, thought it wasn't necessary but did so anyway. He thought he wouldn't need to use the them but they were, in fact, useful at most situations.

The one he just used now, meant envy and or jealousy.

"..." He stayed silent at first, having second thoughts before saying what he had on his mind. His thoughts and feelings. "This is gonna sound very stupid... And probably getting annoying but.. I guess I'm just really jealous of you"

Y/N blinked, "Me?" They didn't sound offended. They sounded more... Confused than anything. Which Hajime was thankful for since he didn't want to offend them in any way.

"An Ultimate. Someone that excels at a specific thing and an even higher than actual professionals.. Talent, basically" He smiled. A sad one. "The usual, you know?.."

"..."

Y/N stayed silent as they leaned on the bench, throwing their head back as well with their eyes closed. Hajime's, now open, eyes looked at them with a lift of his head. It looked like they were stuck in their mind.

It wasn't unusual, so he patiently waited.

""Maybe some other time", that's what I said when we first met, right?" They suddenly asked, which kind of startled him. Hajime fully lofted his head and shifted slightly in his seat to look at them despite their closed eyes. "Yeah.."

"I wanted to be free. Free from everyone's expectations. Free from my title" They stared back at him, noticing how he was closely listening to what they were saying. "To be someone who could just do what they want and who they want to be. To be someone even without talent. Because to me, talent isn't the only way that makes you someone or special"

They smiled and lifted their head, hands on their knees as they looked at the brunette. "To me, everyone is their own person and special in their own way. Talent or none" They grinned, their eyes closed as they exclaimed "And to me, Hajime Hinata is special and an ultimate in his own way"

Hajime stared at them, his eyes widening. Before he knew it, his face was red and his heart was pounding. Flustered. Touched. He felt... Special. Just by hearing them say it.

He cools down, his cheeks are still have a visible pink color on them. A smile made it's way on his face. Ah, so that's their reason.

"Oh, I was going to tell you more but it seems like time passes by rather quickly" Y/N pointed at the time on their phone. Hajime snapped out of his trance, eyebrows raised as he asked "Huh? What were you-"

Before he could continue, they stood up from the bench and looked down at the brunette. With their hand raised and waving, they said those words "Maybe some other time" And with that, they left.

Hajime watched them disappear from sight. He blinked before putting his hand down and smiled softly. He stood up from the bench and began to take his leave as well.

He understood what they meant. So now looking forward, he was taking his first step of not having to worry about becoming someone. Because now... Talent or talentless... Everyone is their own person, special in their own way.

#danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #x reader #danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa imagines #hajime hinata x reader #danganronpa hajime #hajime hinata #hajime x reader

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