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factual-fantasy · 4 years

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More asks! Prepare your feels and prepare your laughs!

I sometimes like to imagine myself being put into shows or videogames at a time period before something big happens or a character reveal happens.

I always freak out trying to convince the characters that I am from a world where their world is a complete work of fiction and that they are in great danger or someone is going to show up. Or sometimes I try to convince a character that the choice they are about to make is an awful one to protect them from their written script.

Normally what I do to convince them that I am from another world is I relay the characters entire life story to them. If they ask how I know all that, I say that your world is a game/show in mine and I learned your story though playing your game/watching your show.

Sometimes though I just imagine myself asking my favorite characters a lot of questions that the fandoms don't have confirmation of.

Its weird, but its a fun past time. I don’t blame you for having these “strange fantasies”, I have ones that are very similar. I mean it is in my name after all. XD

Uhm.. talents?.. hmm.. Well uh... lets see..

Honda does like to paint.. and she is based off a very skilled artist, so maybe she would have a decent shot at painting something?

Bash Buggy probably used to have some talents, but now that he’s in the state he’s in, he probably cant do them anymore.

Hmm... maybe Miata could.. well.. I don’t know if speed is a talent, its just a natural physical capability of hers. But even if that counted, Vega and the Dragsters would smoke her aft on the dragstrip so she wouldn’t even win in that category anyway so... hm..

Volvo probably plays some kind of Cybertronian instrument or something because he’s prim and proper like that. But chances are there ain’t one of those thingi mah bobs on Earth so...

Brown Suburban could.. uh.. maybe Green Truck could.. （￣ε￣;）..Hmm.. Bruh this is hard. I dunno what their talents would be..

You can find my writing/fanfics here! @factuals-fanfics :D Go and check out some of the things I have already written! Warning, they are all angsty and none of them are from the Transformer fandom... yet. I’m still working on that one.

When I read this, I went;

“Bring back-... wh..aaat..? Wait. That’s.. that’s the dude that voiced Optimus Prime right?.. Wait is he.. is he dead?? No, no it cant be! I would’ve already known right?“

*Searches, “is petter cullen dead” into Google*

“T.. 2011?? Wow.. man. Poor Optimus.. 9 years ago.. how did I not know he was dead? Dang.. well that sucks.. man.. how am I going to respond to this ask? Like.. what do I say to that?.. Oh wait- I got an idea.“

Ohh man.. prepare your feels. This is going to hurt.

So here’s the thing, Bash Buggy used to be a real hugger and didn't mind one bit getting hugs from other people. He gave the best hugs, you could tell how much he cared about you by how he tight hugged you. He was a really warm and nice bot, he really was. And even the non huggers didn’t mind getting one from Bash Buggy. He loved giving hugs as a way to show affection, he never really was too great with his words so it was his best way of communicating with people.

..But now? You’re lucky if you get a pat on the back from him. He’s so horribly embarrassed by his body now, that he doesn’t want to touch anyone and he doesn’t anyone to touch him. He doesn’t go out of his way to hug people anymore because he cant tell by their expression if they want one, and he honestly thinks that no one wants to hug him. He doesn’t believe that anybody would want to get that close to his ugly face.

He cant see his face in mirrors, but by feeling around his face and body, he knows he must be awful to look at. He can feel all those exposed wires, all the dents and scratches.. he knows he’s all kind’s of different colors because of what the kids have said. He may not remember what some colors look like, but he can only assume that they don’t look pretty on him.

So basically, he’s embarrassed and ashamed of his body, and thus, no longer likes hugs. If he were to hug someone or if someone were to hug him, he would just feel gross and guilty. He’d feel like he wiped some of his ugliness onto the person he hugged.

However, there is one person who he will accept hugs from, and that is Brown Suburban. He has known that big lug for the longest time, and Brown Suburban is not deterred in the slightest by his best friends appearance. Cuz daw gonnit that is his best friend! And he’s going to hug Bash Buggy if he dang well feels like it! >:{ ��♡♡

So.. uh.. long story short, Bash Buggy used to like hugs but doesn't anymore because he thinks he’s ugly. He no longer hugs people and feels uncomfortable getting hugs from others, however Brown Suburban is an exception because he’s his best friend.

Somewhat close? I’ll give you a hint via gifs!

It actually really is, isn’t it? He’d be able to talk to the Humans no matter what state his voice box is in at the time too!.. However.. it would be hard to read their hands with his janked up vision. If their hands are in front of them, they become invisible. Especially since he uses thermal most of the the time.

Uh.. you okay Anon? This sounds very specific.. you doing alright?. Do you need some help..?

Well uh.. I hope you’re okay.. anyway, that aside uh.. the question, right.

I uh.. I feel like most of them would kind’a have the same reaction. The person has a headache and is most likely stressed, frustrated and just tired.

Most of them would probably get them some headache medicine, some food to go with it, maybe a blanket or something and talk it through with them. Let them vent, explain their side of the argument and overall try their best to be supportive.

Some characters like Bash Buggy and Volvo may not know how to react to this particular situation however. And some characters like Jeepy, U.M.Dragster and Ranger may get angry seeing you so upset that they might not be too much of help and might just make both of you feel worse about it. Unintentionally of course.

I’m not so sure about anyone else.. I feel like Suburban would try his best to help you feel better and try to help you cope.. but he himself is struggling with feelings anger and bitterness, so I don’t know how much his advice would stick.

Actually, now that I think about it? Green Truck and Brown Suburban would probably be the best ones to help here. Both of them are very old, and have been there and done that. They have met a lot of people with a lot of different issues, I’m sure they could put their wisdom to use in helping the distressed person see the situation clearly.

Anyway, not sure where this particular question came from.. but I hope you’re doing okay. <:} ♡

Well, obviously I have to look at this as if they were Humans.. let me see what I can come up with..

Okay, so.. Assuming that all 16 of them went whole hog with their costumes, and they all mostly picked out different ones.. the might all dress up in these.

Suburban:

Miata:

Escort:

Brown Suburban:

U.M.Dragster and A.T.Dragster:

Green Truck:

Vega:

Red Van:

White Truck:

Beluga:

Honda:

Ranger:

Volvo:

Jeepy:

Bash Buggy:

#my response #transformer ocs

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chloebwrites · 3 years

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My Writing Journey - Q&A

“Writing is being vulnerable on the page. Giving a voice to my subconscious that speaks about what matters in a world that wants to mute me.”

How did I become a writer? What started it all?

Truth be told, I was eleven years old when I began writing. I was at the time obsessed with Rainbow Magic books and I have a little giggle when reflecting on how I turned down reading Harry Potter because they didn’t have any fairies 🧚‍♀️✨

What was the first book you ever wrote?

Oh gosh, it was horrible 😂 no seriously.

H O R R I B L E.

I was that chick who enjoyed the worst Scooby-Doo show in history! Shaggy and Scooby-Doo Get A Clue... 🤦🏼‍♀️ and with my high obsession with that show and love for playing the DS games of the Mario bros... plus a cringeworthy *blushes* self insert into the story. I formed my first story which was called *ahem* The Good Chloe.

Ahhh! I’m going to run away and hide under a Patrick’s rock for the rest of my life. If you are having a bad writing day just remember — this chick wrote an entire series of fanfics based off that.

But there’s more to this story than you think!.. before I got inspired to write the story, my sister and I used to play imaginary games. Kicking our feet in the air in our backyard. Forming our stories of ‘saving the world’ with our super powers. And although the storyline was formed from our high obsessions for cartoons and DS games. There was something so beautiful in this childhood memory. It was truely magical... the magic of our childhood.

There’s a lot that went on with my sister as she entered into high school and went off the rails. I was too young to really understand what was going on but when our imaginary games begun to fade. I felt us drifting... I was loosing my sister. And we were growing up a little too fast for my liking *cues Petter Pan*. I really wanted to stay in my Never Land.

I wanted the magic of our childhood memories to live.

And so... that’s what inspired me to write. And if it weren’t for the class subject that was called: Writer’s Workshop. I wouldn’t have ever found my passion for writing... and believe it or not. It was only the seeds. The spark that ignited in my artistic soul. I loved my laptop and spent all of my time writing. It was my escapism and still is.

Why did you stick to writing all those years?

To be real, The Good Chloe evolved into #IYB series. It was no longer fanfic with a self insert. I created new characters and a new plot. I totally revamped it.

The thing is, I grew with the novel and storytelling gave me a place to hold adventures with a bunch of friends that I clearly never had. I was lonely throughout high school - I tried so hard to connect with peers and it just felt like they never saw me. I was invisible to them and often talked over. I had a major confidence blow in year 9-12 and on top of all were family issues. Writing saved me. It gave me a place to escape and gave me a voice. Suppose that’s why I held onto it all those years. Because it became part of my essence and my artistic soul really wanted to share these stories with everyone so they too can feel... they’re not alone. If my characters can make someone laugh the way they make me laugh and show someone that there’s strength in their tears then I have done my job as an author. Another thing that I have begun to notice (because it’s 2021 and we have a lot of time to reflect) is a lot of what I was writing is voicing my subconscious thoughts. And I still do this in my current writing - in fact I’m glad I can pick up on it now or when someone (writing friends) comment on my work.

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knightofbalance-13 · 7 years

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Re:RWBY Chapter 2 “Review”

http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/22649114

Remember that stupid little project that’s said to be a passion project but the writer out right insulted the original writing staff and blocked their only critic? Well, I’mma gonna point out every single flaw in each part of Re:RWBY for my followers. I would do this for the author but they've made it clear they don't want my opinion by blocking me so sucks to be them: I’m never directly criticizing them ever again.

So let’s begin:

The kind of view you could only get up close.

See, the reason here is that if this was said by a person, the weird dialogue here would be excused as a part of human speech pattern but since it’s narration, it sticks out like a sore thumb. What works as a character talking does NOT work as narration. It’s also a sentence fragement that, again, only works with casual dialogue, NOT narration.

That guy’s got a flaming staff!

See, this normally wouldn’t be a problem...but the author directly took an almost exact line from the original and decried it. So apparently they’re allowed to get away with this but the original writing staff isn’t. Hypocrisy people: it kills the enjoyment of a story. Also, the lack of a chibi Ruby makes this scene

“Just weapons?” she exclaimed in disbelief, “They’re an extension of ourselves! They’re part of our very being, and they’re really cool!”

See, this is a problem with the written style of Re:RWBY: What works in the original show does not always translate well to written form directly. This line is emphasized by the sheer emotion and speech that Ruby shows in the original. Here, it loses the charm. You’d need to be way more description to make this funny or charming.

That’s pretty deep of you.” Yang remarked with a smile. She had heard this a hundred times before.

Why is Yang saying it’s deep of her if she’s heard it so many times? had you said that Yang rolled her eyes and then smiled then it would show exhaustion on her end and thus be funny but now it’s just boring and awkward.

“Like you’re always up in people's’ faces, and Ember Celica’s all about aggression! And then you know, Dad’s not very confrontational so he’s got his whole thing, and me, well…”

Mind telling us about how Ember Celica is all about aggression because you didn’t write the trailers so for all we know, Ember Celcia is all about defense. I know that’s nitpicky but if they’re not going to be fair, I see no reason to be myself.

Also, rwde posters criticized miles for being vague...so this person just decides to be as vague as possible with Taiyang’s weapon. Yeah, even though I love Taiyang to death, that will not save this person from my knife.

“Are completely over-the-top and rip off your heroes?”

Yang’s brutal but that was just uncalled for, aswell as rather OOC for her. Goody, this writer can’t keep an already established character consistant, something any fanfic author worth their weight in ink learns day 1.

“Hey!” she said defiantly, “I love Crescent Rose for what she is, I just happen to appreciate certain amazing weapons as a base.” “So, you copied Uncle Qrow’s gimmick.” “Shh!” she hushed Yang with a pout. It didn’t exactly help that she hit the nail on the head with that comment. “I just love seeing new weapons, okay? It’s a lot like meeting new people, only better.”

Yeah, see the scene in the original worked better as it flowed faster into Ruby’s social awkwardness and made her more adorable. We also say Runy looking away from Yang, emphasizing this. Here, this is not the case.

“Actually, my friends are here. I should really catch up. You’ll do great! Just wander around and find some people! I’ll see you soon!” Yang sprinted off towards the older students who had arrived together with peers their own age. “But Yang!” “Bye!” she shouted, and melded into her circle of friends. It left Ruby rather dejected.

yeah, again this fails because Yang was talking really fast, zooming around with shadow people as friends and zooming away really quickly, leaving Ruby visibly dazed and confused with really wacky music playing in the background. All of these factors catch the viewer by surprise and thus make it funny. Here, it’s dull, flat and emotionless. And yes, it is possible to translate this to writing. Easily. Watch.

“Actually...” Yang drawled out, fiddling with her hair. All of a sudden, several people zoomed out of seemingly nowhere, the force of the movement sending Ruby into a spin, making her resemble a black and red top.

“Myfriendsarealreadyhere, Ishouldcatchupwiththem.You’lldogreat,wanderaroundandmeetsomepeopel. ‘kaybye!’ Yang rattled off quickly, zipping away so fast all she could make out was the dark sillouhtte of Yang’s friends, leaving her older sisters words to rattle around the poor girl’s skull as she desperately tried to get the world to stop spinning

“But Yang!-” She cried out, her rotations pettering out much like her hopes for the day

See? I managed to do it, keep it closer to the original and keep it funny. And it took me about thirty seconds. Not hard, at all.

“Where are we even supposed to go…?” she wondered aloud in a hushed whine. Did she have to worry about dorms? Did the school even have dorms? Well of course they had to, otherwise where would they live? She still had no idea where to find them or who to report to for a room key or even the names of anyone else in the huge place! “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Yeah, this was much funnier in the original as ruby said all of these in a paniced squeak, not a hushed whine. Also, the middle part was said not narrated, adding to the hilarity. Narration should only be used as an addition, NOT a substitute.

“This is Dust! It’s all Dust! Mined and purified straight from the finest Schnee quarries! Do you even know what the market price is for a mere ounce of this?” Little did she realize the powder spilled into the air with each reckless movement. “Uuhhhh…” Ruby sniffled. "What are you, brain-dead?" She slammed the case she held shut and dropped it back on the luggage cart. “Dust! Only the best Dust there is! You’re not gonna find a better producer on the planet and you’re out here knocking it around!” "Right, I... I know..." Ruby coughed and pulled her sleeve over her nose. “Are you even listening to me? Is any of this sinking in? What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Ah see here, the thing is this dialogue paints Weiss as your stereotypical rich girl and while she did have a few shades of it in the original, it was only her attitude that was this, not her dialogue hinting that there is more to her. So in essence: Weiss’ first lines are OOC.

Ruby, who had received enough Dust to the face by that point, finally sneezed one of the greatest sneezes of her life. The force of it blew the volatile Dust particles right back at the girl, where they ignited in a large but otherwise harmless explosion. It left her flawless white dress and fair skin covered in black soot. She began to dust it off and barely contained her rage.

Thing is: There are times to take liberty with the source material and thus you could have said that it created a crater ike it was intended in the original. But by sticking to it (for once) you’ve limited your self and contradicted your writing (”large but otherwise harmless?” me thinks this person doesn’t understand how explosions work.)

“Heiress. It’s heiress, actually,” announced a voice from afar. Both girls turned to see a dark-skinned young woman walk towards them. Silky black hair bounced with each step along with an oversized bow atop her head. “Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company” she said plainly. “Finally,” Weiss smiled smugly, “some recognition!” “One of the largest Dust producers in the world, hailing all the way from Atlas.” “Precisely.” The new girl shrugged and closed her eyes nonchalantly. “The same company infamous for its controversial labor forces and questionable business partners, not to mention the dangerous implications of a Dust monopoly on the world economy.” "Wha- How dare you- The nerve of... Ugh!”

One : Blake was pissed off in her second line, drawing a connectionto her disdain for Weiss. Now it seems like she’s just stating facts.

Two: They put the fuming after this but she starts getting angry immediately and thus should have been connected to the last line. This is basic writing technique and the author fucked it all up.

Weiss began to fume, which made Ruby chuckle. The black-haired girl offered her hand, when her tights-covered legs came into view, Ruby took it, hoisted to her feet by some hefty upper body strength. In contrast to Weiss, Blake boasted incredible height, and in contrast to Yang, all of her muscle came in toned, smooth arms.

That’s a pretty damn sexual description of Blake for an asexual like Ruby who is confirmed to not think about sex. Great, OOC and forced lesbianism. Wonderful. Would have worked if this were an AU but nope, this is meant to be a novelixation of RWBY so this is a problem. Also, “The black-haired girl offered her hand, when her tights-covered legs came into view, Ruby took it, hoisted to her feet by some hefty upper body strength” ? Couldn’t just leave out the comma? The line feels clumsy and awkward and unlike the writing staff of RWBY (specifically Miles) who was just starting out on the show, the author boasts being a better writer...despite amateur screw ups that my thirteen self would cringe at.

The rich girl scowled and snapped her fingers. A couple of servants came and collected the suitcases on the ground. She walked alongside her luggage cart as her servants rolled it off, but her thousand-yard grouchy stare stuck to the black-clad girl the whole time.

Problem: Weiss is never seen with any servants at Beacon and never mentions anything and wants to distance herself from her father. So this is still pretty damn OOC for her.

"I promise I'll make this up to you!" Ruby yelled after Weiss. With all said and done, she really did not want to make any enemies. “And thanks for the backup,” she said to the other girl, “guess I’m not the only one having a rough first day…” She turned to what she hoped could flourish into a new friend. “I’m Ruby! What’s your name?” “Oh, uh” she seemed taken aback by the question. “I’m-” “Hey! What did Sneezy get herself into over here?”

yeah, Blake walked awaynin the original encounter which left Ruby alone, making Jaune’s reach out to her all the more noticeable and making an immediate bond with her. But seeing as the author barely tolerates him, I guess I should be thankful they didn’ t ax him immediately.

Also: Sneezy? Nowhere near as funny as “Crater Face” which due to length and size is a clear parallel to “Vomit Boy” and also I assume this is a reference to Sneezy from Snow White? Yeah, wrong character: Ruby’s red Riding Hood so the reference is a screw up.

“Do they?” Asked the black-haired girl rather flatly. She put a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow. Ruby noticed a black ribbon wrapped up her forearm.

Blake go away! You’re intruding on the best damn relationship in the show! And no I don’t mean romatically but Ruby and Jaune always had this bond with each other that made them really click as they share so much. This also helped Ruby gain some points as jaune is the Audience Surrogate and thus we feel closer to her.

Now it’s just Blake...and Ruby’s delivery with her higher voice is funnier.

“Woah! What’s that?” Ruby interjected again as she spotted what that ribbon attached to; a black rectangular sheath with a sharpened edge strapped to the back of the girl’s waist. “Is that your weapon?” “It’s, uh…” “Is it a gun? A sword? A gun-sword?!” “It’s more of a-” “And is the sheath a sword too? Wow! And that ribbon ties it all together. Is it elastic or something so you can slingshot it around?” “I’d rather just-” “You know,” Jaune cut in, “I have a weapon too.” “Don’t we all?” Ruby asked, and grabbed Crescent Rose from behind her back. She transformed it immediately and slammed the tip of the blade into the ground for balance. The gears and machinations at the base of the curved blade, as well as the Dust cartridge loaded up to the barrel made it impressive for reasons more than its size.

I am bored as shit right now. The gag of Blake trying to introduce herself is not funny, the two with real chemistry aren’t interacting and my patience is nearing it’s end!

“Is that a giant scythe?” Jaune asked, intimidated. “It’s also a customizable, high-impact sniper rifle.” “A…. a what?” “It’s also a gun.” The black-haired girl clarified. Ruby cocked the rifle’s slide to agree. Despite Ruby’s enthusiastic smile, the other girl hardly seemed as dazzled as Jaune. “Isn’t something like that a little dangerous for someone of your…stature?”

Ruined the line. The author ruined one of the most iconic lines in the series. There’s nowhere enough description for the voices to be funny, nowhere near enough build up of awkwardness to come out of nowhere, Blake bogs the scene down and the gun cock comes before the line. All of this makes it dull. The author made RWBY dull!

“Sounds like more of an heirloom to me,” Ruby chuckled. “Well, I like it. Not everyone has an appreciation for the classics. How about you, friend-” To her surprise, the black-haired girl had vanished while they conversed over Jaune’s sword. Not a trace left.

Not enough build up to be funny, don’t know enough of Blake to be meaningful thus she was completely superfluous. Blake was completely pointless, what was her poi-

“Shows concern and then runs off without warning,” Ruby mumbled, “she’d get along great with Yang. Didn’t even get her name!”

Ah, I see. A build up to a dumb joke and not even a good dumb joke and forced Bumbleby ship tease. Great.

"Hmm." Ruby looked around as students dispersed. "Hey, do you know where we’re supposed to go?” "Oh, I don't know! I was following you. Y-You think there might be a directory? Maybe a food court? Some kind of recognizable landmark?” Ruby giggled at the thought of them as two new students completely lost with zero help. Of course her day would end up like this and things would go disastrously badly! “Is, uh... Is that a 'no'?" "Heheh, hah…That's a 'no.'"

Joke falls flat because they haven’t moved a god damn inch, not enough description to be funny anyway and “disastrously badly” ? Really? Two adverbs in a row in narration?! Well, at least it ends as it started: Bad.

I mean it: This is on of the worse novelization of a series I have ever seen and I happen to be a fan of the concept. Not enough description to match the vibrancy of the original, chops up lines and characters until they kill scenes and OOC out the butt. If this is what critics of RWBY think it should be then I’m starting to think that RWBY critics are totally wrong after all. Especially if they are arrogant enough to think THIS is even close to equal to RWBY, let alone above it.

*Holds up a copy of Re:RWBY Chapter 2* Only one thing to do left. *Flings it the air, causing the pages to float down*

SILVER CHARIOT, CUT THIS SHIT TO PIECES *Silver Chariot appears and slashes and stabs all the pages with speed and precision befitting the Stand of Victory. The pages are quickly cut into pieces, then into fragements then into shreds and so on until the chapter is cut beyond repair*

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