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solunstell · 4 months

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List of bsd headcanons

Dazai:

Has bpd. A lot of his traits remind me of my friends with it

He some kind of trans. Nonbinary. Transfem. Transmasc. Idk he's megender lmao

He's described as appearing very youthful in the first two light novels. I imagine that once the events of the main timeline start picking up though, with all the time stopping or slowing abilities that *dont affect him*, he actually ages faster than the other characters. I draw current dazai with small wrinkles, which also hints at stress and stuff

Also, I imagine current dazai getting tanner as he works in the light, as well as getting more prominent freckles.

Round/doe eyes because that is part of his appearance in my opinion. Seeming unsuspecting and innocent, especially during his mafia days

Bad eyesight in his right eye from being under the bandages for so long. Saw this headcanon and loved it

Similarly, beastzai has bad vision in general

I always call No Longer Human an anti-ability in my head, fun fact

He loves to touch other people. Not a fan of being touched by others unless asked

I draw him with red eyes in color, and usually black eyes in ink (inconsistent artstyle my beloved)

Aroace spectrum

heavy sleeper. Very

Chuuya

FRECKLES and tan from sheep days

He likes to be close to other people more than actually touching. Presence over contact

That shade of eyes that changes colors in the light (but I use a grey base lol)

Also some sort of trans, but in a different way than dazai

Brownish red hair. Not blazing, not just brown

That man is AUTISTIC

One time instinctively kicked a friend with his ability active, expecting them to dodge cuz he's used to dazai easily dodging. They did, but they were SO CLOSE to getting hit. Imagine a confused face like wtf why you try to kick me

Light sleeper, but every now and then sleeps like he just learned how to close his eyes

A lot of his jokes go over people's heads because they expect him to be serious and his voice just doesn't change between serious and not serious

Ranpo

Autism plus adhd ftw

Aroace spectrum

Poe

He/they vibes

Anxiety

Gay af

I can 100% see him being into knitting. Imagine the guide plus ranpo all in matching sweaters

Loves baking. Sooooo bad at it

Lucy

Bi (with a lean towards girlies) she/it

VERY good at baking

But she won't share :(

Atsushi

Anxiety, so much anxiety

Aroace spectrum vibes

Very easily idolizes people and then gets surprised when they actually like being around him

Akutagawa

Aroace spectrum

Autism cuz he is so mecore sometimes

Very trans vibes from me

(I like to imagine him having tourettes cuz I have tourettes and I am Not projecting)

Atsushi (special kitty hearing) and jouno being the only ones who can hear some of his tics. He will be horrified that anyone notices them

Wait no actually I'm gonna incorporate that into my belief system. That's canon now

Mori

Genuinely cares about a lot of his workers, but not all of them

He gives great bonuses for birthdays

He absolutely loves vtubers if bsd were in a modern setting. Rip mori. He'd have also loved vocaloid lmao

Ozaki

Masc energy. Fem energy. Ooh I can see ozaki with any pronouns and identity

Kinda person to accidently either overpack or underpack. Always has painkillers, never has a pen

Ridiculous memory. Incredible gift giver. Would get someone something months or years after overhearing them say they wanted something once

"Whyd you get me a hairdryer?"

"You said you needed one. I saw it and thought of you."

"...that was months ago. I got a hairdryer already."

"..." *takes hairdryer back* "sorry wrong person. I don't have my contacts in my bad"

She has perfect vision

Kunikida

Trans vibes. In any and every direction

Adhd af

Will always conveniently have room in his schedule when Aya wants to go do something and needs someone to go with her. No, he's TOTALLY not frantically writing and erasing things, get your glasses updated

You can usually count on him to continue the bit cuz he won't realize there is a bit occurring

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skyss-personal-hell · 8 months

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Biting their cheeks lmao. That's it. That's the whole thought (Take this as you will)

YES! Idk if u want this as hcs or a fic/imagine sooooo i’m doing hcs and a tiny crumb of fic. ALSO BROSKIS I HAVE NO IDEAS💔💔💔 PLS SEND SOME IN MY MIND IS A WINDTUNNEL (don’t ask how many times it took to try and spell that😭) idk if it’s just me or nah but i bite people to show affection so that’s how i’m using this. Literally went to a friends house and bit their shoulder so now they’re buying me a chewable thingy💀

Since I didn’t say any characters uhhhh fuck it I’ll pick some randos.

Jouno (like always bc i have an obsession w this man)

• Would be so confused

• Like wtf did u do to him

• Would probs be a bitch to u about it like “wtf was that for you idiot”

• You’d have to be like “I’m showing u affection” even then he’d still think ur weird asf

• if he’s feeling playful and having a good day he’d bite back

• the first time you do this he just turns to ur direction (i wanted to say he just stares but uh…………… he’s kinda blind sooooo idk how to word this) and stands there very confused and slightly concerned.

“What the hell was that?”

“I bit you.”

“Well no shit, but why?”

“Because why not…?”

He sighs and and face palms.

(PLS HES SO DONE)

Dazai

• Would bite back (probably harder)

• Like u just nip at him and he goes chomp

• high key funny asf

• Acts like nothing happened after he FEROCIOUSLY BIT U😡

• First time you did this he thought you were gonna give him a kiss on the cheek lmaooo

• He went from smiling to confusion to smug and bit u back

• He’s basically playing russian roulette after this and trying to guess whether you’ll bite him or give him a lil kith (i like saying that word lol)

You lean in close to his cheek, Dazai was expecting your lips on his cheep but then suddenly…

“Did you just bite me?”

Your smirk says everything. Then he bites your cheek and smiles.

“I can bite too dear.”

Ranpo (never written for him sorry if it’s bad😭 i had a random bsd wheel decide who all to be here)

• He bites you first one day bc why not and now you both just randomly bite each other

•This man will literally get off his seat to grab more candy, see you on the way, and just nibble on u before going to his snacks.

• He knew you were going to bite him bro knows everything. He knew there was a s l i g h t chance you’d give him a peck on the cheek but it was more than likely you’d just go “nom” and bite him

• Biting becomes your love language. (me fr)

You walk up to your victim boyfriend and bite his cheek. Ranpo huffs out and starts to plan his next attack.

When you’re sitting down enjoying lunch he comes up behind you and…

BITES YOU ON THE SHOULDER!

“Nom.”

Yosano (once again ty to the random generator✨✨)

• Would sigh and call you childish probs pat ur head too

• Tells you about how humans have the most absolutely nasty mouths and so it’s unsanitary

• Eventually decides “fuck it” and bites back

• Only harder.

“Sweetheart I know you think it’s cute but human bites are some of the most dangerous bites. The infection rate is very high.”

You pour at her and she sighs

“You’re so childish.”

Yosano pats your head and walks away.

Later that day you’re filling out important paperwork when Yosano sneaks up behind you and bites you.

She then snickers before speaking.

“I can see the appeal now.”

RAAAA IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING MUCH I HAD MENTAL ISSUES LMAOOOO BUT IM CHILL NOW! Anyways I love biting people it’s so fun, I’ve bitten practically everyone around me because it just like feels loving to me. Also I don’t think I’ve mentioned this here but I LOVE YOSANO AND KOUYOU AND JUST LIKE ALL THE ADULT GIRLS IN BSD😛 I LOVE WOMEN🔥🔥 And I also love Kajii sm he’s my pookie smookie cherry barf koolaid kitten queef king💜

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generic-anime-boy-bracket · 9 months

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Round 1, Group A: Matchup 4

Yoichi Isagi vs Ren Amamiya

Reasons for being generic + Propaganda below

Yoichi Isagi

Reasons:

he has black hair and blue eyes and looks sooooo generic because he looks like every other black hair and blue eyes anime character (etc kageyama from haikyuu) hes got the v shaped bangs and all

hes the blandest looking little guy of all time. sports anime protag no less. mans is hello kitty in the sanrio collab even though his character colour is green and his design is all blues, because he doesnt have defining characteristics other than his status as protag.

Propaganda:

listen. hes bland. hes generic beyond belief. he has the bangs triangle. he got hello kitty in the sanrio collab. hes also a leetle unhinged and it wouldnt phase me if he started canonically eating people (this is not the kind of sports anime that includes such violence) (this IS a battle royale/danganronpa killing game style media though) he says the most off-the-wall wild shit on the pitch, and then someone will say something just like it while theyre Not playing socer and he'll just be like "alright um bye then" and leave? he sees everything as puzzle pieces and recently tried to refer to another players ability with a name he made up.. in his head.. and didnt tell anyone before..... the other player was understandingly just left like '??? wtf is metavision' hes my silly !!!!!

Ren Amamiya

Reasons:

He's got messy black hair and simple clothes. He's also got fake glasses in order to look less supsicious and blend in. His personality is also fairly bland bc he's a player character

He’s a Japanese teenager with messy black hair and glasses. He literally only wears his school uniform or grayscale. I’ve never seen an MC look so much like I could’ve put his model at another desk in the background and noticed nothing.

Fairly normal high school kid who happens to get caught up in the fate of humanity and stuff. He did get in a minor altercation with a fascist politician before the game starts, which kicks off the entire plot.

When he’s a high school student he just looks like. a fucking guy. I’ll be honest I haven’t played persona I’m just in love with him so if any actual persona fans find this bracket and submit him I bet they’ll have something better lmao - smashy bros fan

messy black hair with bangs. designed to appear basic and unassuming, especially when he is in school and doing other normal high schooler activities (rather than when he’s in the meta verse as Joker). wears fake glasses to seem even more generic and unassuming

He's got messy brown hair and is the only character of the main cast of teens to wear his uniform in the most proper and normal way. He is just A Guy. That's his whole thing, is to look generic and to not stand out.

he's got that slightly messy black hair swag grey eyes average tall-ish height normal outfits normal uniform swag. the most interesting thing he has going on appearance wise is normal ass black rimmed glasses. i wish we could put pictures so i could show you how normal looking he is.

To be fair this is more of a stretch! But he still has the black scruffy hair, and also he has glasses, boy looks generic. But that's actually kinda the point! He's supposed to "fit in" and all that!

i hate this man he is everywhere i havent played the game but hes a mostly silent protagonist with like a possible harem and i want him wiped from this earth. unfortunately theyve announced yet another p5 spin-off. god save us.

Propaganda:

He's already the hair down and then he purposefully dresses more generic in order to blend in how fun is that?

His whole schtick is hiding in plain sight and never letting anyone see his true self. He was traumatized by the Japanese legal system when he put himself out there to save a woman from assault, and so now he does everything he can to blend in. He doesn’t even need glasses; he wears them to be more generic and unassuming. He slouches for the same reason, to minimize his height and come off as another disaffected teenager.

his generic anime guy-ness actually matters to the plot. he was falsely accused of assaulting someone and has been branded a dangerous criminal, so he tries to make himself as unnoticeable/unassuming/generic as he can, hiding his true self in order to avoid further trouble from people that already assume the worst of him. it is a shackle society placed on him, and working in the meta verse as joker allows him to be his true self

he is sooo special to me and very pretty. it's a good generic design that doesn't just look like an npc. extremely ordinary but not boring nor bland. cutie pie.

Already gave it but, it'd be funny for both Akechi and Joker to end up tied cause they both look pretty generic

#generic anime boy bracket #blue lock #isagi yoichi #yoichi isagi #persona 5 #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #p5 joker

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wistfulwatcher · 14 days

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@ahauandthesun replied to your post “vague tgotb 1x6 spoilers I was genuinely enjoying...”:

wait i need your reasoning on this because i had the same feeling but wasn’t exactly sure why. this whole episode felt off

yeah, i have thoughts lol.

ok so first of all, i'm wondering if this episode and the last episode got restructured/rewritten? because the first thing that felt ~off to me was how grace and kimberlyn interacted. like??? grace was invited to her engagement party/wedding last episode and now it's like they barely know each other? while i enjoyed 1x5 i did think they were kind of rushing the friendship between the girls. i was rolling with it because 10 episodes in a season is so little that i figured they were just doing a whole lot of telling not showing with the emerging friendship.

but this episode felt like a full step backwards, with zero reason for it. i really wish the bus breakdown had happened earlier, since the debates were a good way to get the women to talk openly. (but maybe they were trying to use it to sell their point that debates don't change anything? i'm maybe giving this show too much credit lmao)

overall though i was enjoying the episode up until about the last 15 minutes, because wtf happened with grace and the sandwiches? i legitimately thought it was another one of sadie's fantasy sequences because that came out of absolutely nowhere. if it had made even a lick of sense i would have been all over that scene but it was just truly bizarre???

idk overall the ep felt sooooo shallow. i didn't really think this was a groundbreaking female show or anything before this, but it wasn't so bad i couldn't enjoy it until now. it just felt...blah. especially when thought about in retrospect, knowing where they're going with sadie. pregnancy is about the dumbest/most overused/boring(/insulting, because sadie doesn't have to make EVERY short-sighted choice, a career-oriented woman remembering to use protection can coexist with a semi-unethical choice in partner!!) route they could have taken. i was already barely tolerating the loafers storyline because yeah. sure. when he's a plot device to explore double standards he makes sense. i guess.

also, and this is truly the most minor issue with the pregnancy storyline but. she's 8 days late after traveling/working nonstop, trying to uncover a conspiracy/election bombshell, losing the respect of her mentor, and fighting tooth and nail to keep her dream job? you're a week late because you're fucking stressed, sadie. ugh.

overall, just disappointing!!! but oh well

#ahauandthesun #well i thought i was just minorly irritated but it's nice to vent!!#wordles #also wouldn't be me if i didn't point out that this was the first ep written by a man!!!#i think i maybe need a rants tag for this stuff so people can avoid the negativity if they prefer!#ww rants #tgotb spoilers

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lesmiserablol · 4 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @satans-poptarts thank you!! <3

1. how many works do you have on Ao3? 84

2. what's your total Ao3 word count? 378,809

3. what fandoms do you write for? atla/lok, les mis, marvel, and ofmd

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

gone fishin'

emergency boyfriend

the strategy of harmony

just say yes

a brush of fingers, a kick of shins

5. do you respond to comments? usually! sometimes it takes me a while but i try to

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? HAHA i would say yours

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? hmm most of them have happy endings and they are fairly similar, though i would say every fic ending in the cat cafe au series was written for maximum sweetness

8. Do you get hate on fics? no but i love the insane reactions to the angsty ones lmaooo

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? nope

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? no lmao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yes -_-

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! i have a fic translated into Ukrainian and i translated my first zukka fic into spanish. i also have had six fics made into podfics which makes me happy

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes!! (this love is) a long time coming it was sooo much fun i would love to do it again (and almost did) but i just do not really have time for writing these days

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? zukka is in my top three all time favorites but they are my number one favorite to write

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ugh this one fic that i wrote in the very early days of zukka that is very divorcedzukka coded.....zuko had abolished the monarchy and iroh fired him from the jasmine dragon because he knew zuko could be happier so zuko left to visit the swt and see his friends (and his former lover) and at first things are awkward but then they become friends again quickly and katara says something about sokka's letters and zuko is like uhhh sokka hasnt sent me a letter in years and katara is like wtf and zuko thinks he must have been writing another lover or something but then he finds a bunch of heartfelt unsent letters sokka had written for zuko!!! anyway there is also mention of a failed proposal and other things and bed sharing and i really love it but it is just a bunch of random scenes thrown together without any cohesion so it needs a lot of work. i really want to finish it one day but i just dont think i will

16. What are your writing strengths? ahhh the most frequent compliments in comments i get are about solid characterizations and good dialogue and making my readers feel things (mainly angst lol)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i have a hard time with exposition or writing action sometimes because i will be so focused on the dialogue that everything else isnt as fun to write. idk if that comes across to readers at all but its something i work on a lot in the editing stages

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? just dont be a dumbass about it

19. First fandom you wrote for? h*rry p*tter unfortunately

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

easily my baby my love my precious my child zukka tangled au now that i see you...i love tangled more than anything and i really worked my ass off making sure it was faithful to the characters and the story of tangled while also very much making it fit the most important aspects of the atla world. i have reread it a few times and i am just sooooo proud of it and happy with how it turned out. close second is no love like your love

tagging @zukkaoru @backhurtyy @that-was-anticlimactic @sokkalore @goldrushzukka @marriedzukka only if you want mwah <3

#tag game

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ghoooooooooooooooost · 21 days

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ok my opinion now that i finished y8's story (spoilers)

tldr; overall it's a flawed but better end for kiryu than 6 imo. n ichiban is there <3 don't play this as your first yakuza game please don't you will get so much more out of this if you actually know who tf anyone is

it wasn't as awesomesauce as it seemed like it was gonna n it fell into the usual rgg problems - while surprisingly fixing a big one

kiryu's story effected me a lot 🥲 while ichiban's was just mostly "well i get to see ichiban yay". not to say i didn't care at all lmao the hawaii plot definitely still had it's strong moments (especially the scene w chitose after the bryce boss!!!) it just didn't hit the same overall

positive: KIRYU. i honestly loved most of the kiryu stuff. letting him look back outside of traumatic flashbacks.... letting him have a nice time..... giving him all these new friends that won't die on top of reassuring him that his old connections are still alright.... getting his ass punched by akiyama lmao. it really makes you realize how weird of an ending y6 would've been if that was truly kiryu's last game. so nice to finally be able to acknowledge previously tossed out characters/story beats in-game. seeing shinada mentioned… i cheered (i wish he was actually in there tho). on the hawaii side: tomizawa n chitose r sooooo good i didn't even think i'd end up liking chitose but i lov her.... n ichiban is the ichiban as usual

n the main villains don't die this game!? they're expected to live w what they did, even the evil cult leader!?!? kiryu's line abt not being able to change anything if you're dead wow wow wow hearing that after the prev games where a lot of them die even when they were able to change wooooooow. the pre-credits ending was sooooooo strong. I LUV KIRYU :( :) :(

<3 the tweaks to gameplay were nice too + it was a very pretty game

it had to grow on me but i like kiryu's y8 look a whole lot it's very nice n goes well w his softer expressions

negative: not as well optimized for pc (or in general) as y7 it feels like? i already said i liked kiryu's plot more than ichiban's... yeah. pretty mad that hanawa died but whatevar i guess... i understand saeko's conflict w ichiban but don't really like how they wrote her at times it made me kinda frustrated. esp w the joke at the end. really the whole y7 party took a step backwards in some ways (tho they're still great mostly) it's just saeko got it the worst. also i really don't like how long they took to get me to actually like yamai bc his reason for being in hawaii was constantly in the back of my head n then at the very end after all the fun stuff already happened they were like "actually he didn't try to assault her she framed him" fuuuuuuck you at least tell us that way earlier instead of suddenly detouring in the penultimate chapter. "well they had you warm up to him so you'd know something was up! they wouldn't make an sa-er likable!" listen. listen. i love rgg but if you think i trust them w women.... n if you think i forgot y4......... i didn't realize they still had the dating thing from 7 in there either till i saw someone else mention it n i refuse to touch it :/

too many blonde blue eyed white ppl in the substories wtf why do they outnumber the natives

my one gripe abt the kiryu side is that we didn't get to see him actually reunite w haruka n haruto IN GAAAAME BEFORE IT ENDED. LIKE WE KNO HE WILL BUT I WANTED TO SEEEEEEEE ON SCREEEEEEEN

my current ranking:

y0 = y7 > y3 > y5 > y8?? (not entirely sure bc its like. the highs n lows are so drastic) > kiwami 1 = y1 > kiwami 2 (don't get mad at me) > y6 (doooon't get mad at me i started liking it less when 8 was announced) > y4

gaiden not there bc its a short side game but i liked it so i'll mention it. didn't play the og y2 </3

#text post #pk gayming #super text heavy in there

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having-conniptions · 9 months

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Love In The Air episode 3 live reaction under the cut (long post)

Prapai is actually such a cutie

But so is Payu when he's smiling to himself (a smile that's usually meant for Rain)

Rain is baby tho

And Sky has their shared braincell like 99% of the time

Why is he writing on the board in English lol

And the way the camera pans over "How to date him in 30 days" and then snaps back to "him" xD

Love how Sky asks but then accepts it with no further questions <3

Also Rain keeps pretending he's only doing this so Payu will stop calling him stupid but it was Rain himself who decided that the only way to get Payu to stop was to make him fall in love (totally logical conclusion ofc that has nothing to do with the fact that he would have let Payu do whatever he wanted to him in that bathroom stall)

Rain should have brought gifts or notes to leave for Payu when he wasn't there come on dude make him think of you

OH. PRAPAI AND SKY DEFINITELY ALREADY HAVE SOMETHING GOING ON!!! Prapai was in a good mood and said it was thanks to Payu - and Sky didn't elaborate on what happened that night and just said he was fine AND NOW HE'S WALKING IN WITH A BIG FAT HICKEY ON HIS NECK boiiiis you ain't slick

Sky is so done with Rain lmao

Hahaha the dude working at the garage is the real MVP he's the shipper the matchmaker the enabler the supporter the sidekick that makes Payu's plan work I love him

PAHAHAHA RAIN FORCING HIMSELF TO BE POLITE

Payu really has a thing for politeness, huh? Or is it just about being dominant 👀

RAIN PRETENDING HE DOESN'T LIKE PAYU AND DOESN'T CARE BOIII DROP THE ACT

Rain is such a little brat I LOVE their dynamic

He's actually playing hard to get which means Payu ends up having to work for it (which only works because Payu is already interested) which does in fact help with making him fall in love

RAIN ANNOUNCING THAT HE'S HITTING ON PAYU TO THE WHOLE RESTAURANT LMAO

PAYU WANTING TO BE FED AND RAIN GOING "you have hands" I FUCKING CAN'T WITH THESE TWO who thought the cute one would be the cold one and the cool guy would be all soft and smiley

"Try replacing my 'stupid' with 'cute'" SO EVERY TIME HE SAID STUPID HE MEANT CUTE THIS MAN IS ALREADY HEAD OVER HEELS

And Rain gets sooooo shy about it awwwww babyyyyyyy and his smile is so adorable aaaaaa

Sky is still so done with Rain (same bby) and the guy behind Rain is fascinated with the taste of his pen cap wtf is going on

Rain still playing hard to get huh

And Aon getting caught in the middle of PayuRain

Every time Rain plays hard to get a little smile breaks through his stern face bc he can't contain the butterflies he gets from Payu's affection and I think that's beautiful

"What are you looking at?" - "A cutie." <3<3<3

OHMYGAWD THE CUTENESS

The shippers lmaoooo I love them

NOOO DON'T TAKE A NAP YOU'LL BE LATE

The dream tho lol

NOOO RAIN YOU GOTTA PERSIST

He doesn't accept comforting from his crush but goes to see Payu awwwwww

The way Payu packs up his things IMMEDIATELY so he can go home and comfort Rain who's been waiting for him in the pouring rain

THE WAY HE GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE AND EXTENDS HIS ARMS TO RAIN WHO'S SITTING ON THE FLOOR aaaaaa this is so beautiful he's offering physical contact but leaving the choice up to Rain unlike Ple who squeezed Rain's arm AND RAIN GOES FOR THE HUG which mirrors how he removed Ple's hand from his arm I AM NEVER GOING TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS

He called him good boy oh my

How to make him fall in love with you: break down crying in his arms

"I'm here if you want to talk" THE PLE PARALLELS ARE ACCUMULATING

Payu actually helping Rain to learn from his mistakes and agreeing with his teacher but also sympathizing with him aaaaaaaa so wholesome and healthy

HE CALLED HIM NAUGHTY BOY how many more nicknames does this guy have for Rain

I just need them to kiss again please

"You'll get sick. I don't want to take care of you." HIS LITTLE SMILE WHEN HE PULLED AWAY MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME

Bonus scene: AWWW HE REALLY WAS CRUSHING FROM THE START

#love in the air #love in the air live reaction #payurain #prapaisky

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thekidsarentalright · 1 month

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atlas bestie i’m so genuinely terrified for my show after seeing last nights setlist… XO?!? GET BUSY LIVING?!?!?! SPIDEY?!?!?! every time we think they can’t get more unhinged they Do!! i’m the best kind of scared for my show bc it’s soonish and i feel like they’re abt to snipe me lmaooo 😅 between whatever tf pete was doing during get busy living and the whole spidey thing and xo with like… no warning. this is so much. like wtf else could they possibly do and why are they the scariest lil guys ever and how are we meant to survive this??

also not to get emotional but that speech before spidey made me kinda tear up! like this band genuinely wasn’t supposed to make it this far and they Did and patrick overcame so much self doubt and just 😭😭😭 he’s playing songs he wrote for a spiderman cartoon at a SOLD OUT SHOW at madison square garden with his best friends!! never thought i’d be crying over spidey but that happened lol… sorry for the rambling but the patrick emotion is so strong rn, everything he said abt impostor syndrome was super fuckin validating and just. how do they do that? how does fob always do that?? i’m gonna be an emotional wreck at my show and the 8 ball is Not gonna help lmao

(alsooooo this is hella late but AHHH CONGRATS ON GETTING ALLIE!!! <3 u won SO hard fr fr!!!!! genuine question, how did u not like… collapse when that started? like anything from soul punk is insane but especially that song?? holy shit 😭)

- 🧋 anon

GODDD BFF I KNOW RIGHT??? the madison square garden setlist was sooooo crazy and tbh last nights was too like.... i swear each show theyre just getting more insane somehow i am SO scared in the best way too for my next show and u are in my thoughts for yours 😭 like every time i think there isnt more they could do, they find something so like. truly we're in for it for these last 9 shows!!!! we are not surviving!!!!!

also YEAHH WAUGH that speech made me soooo emotional too do Not be sorry for the rambling bc literally the fact this band was supposed to just be a fun little side project and is now This big, to where patrick can play his scoring "day job" songs to sold out audiences of thousands for Fun because he Wants to for his passion project is just. so much??? seeing him, like, overcoming imposter syndrome in real time??? it is so so sweet and inspiring literally how do fob always manage to be sooooo healing and beautiful and inspirational i can't handle it!!! manifesting thee most insane emotional 8 ball for you tbh fkjsnfds

alsooo AUGHHH THANK U i still cant believe i got allie live like. tbh idk how i didnt collapse either i think i was just in such shock it was happening 😭 i remember turning to my mom and sister w my jaw fucking dropped repeating "THIS IS SOUL PUNK??!!??!" over and over... he was so insane for that

#okay also tho u mentioning ur show makes me need to know what ur ideal 8 ball would be so i can actually manifest it for u...#asks #🧋 anon

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year

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Hello ! This is pukey Saeyoung anon.

I’m comin off anon bc honestly that shit is too much work. Pretty sure being sick this long has fried any last sense of inhibition or shame in my brain and I think everyone deserves to know how much I love Saeyoung smh. The extent to which that is my Mans. I will publicly gush if I so please. 😤😤

Plus! I’m pleased to report that I haven’t actually thrown up in about two weeks! So like. Hashtag recovery life I guess. 💀

But that’s what I came here to update you about. :’D

I feel like I kinda left you with a cliffhanger there with the whole bone cancer thing. (If it makes you feel any better, the hospital did too 👁👄👁)

November was very much,,, a terrible horrible no good very bad type of month. I spent nearly two weeks waiting for them to get back to me about my dumb bone marrow autopsy only for them to cancel my appointment last minute. And in the meantime I was just getting sicker and sicker… I ended up in and out of the hospital again a couple times,, but by the third time I was scared to go back bc the second time I went they didn’t even admit me overnight. They basically just charged me $700 to take a four hour nap. And cha boy doesn’t have that kinda money. 😭

But it got to the point that I really physically couldn’t take it anymore… I have never been in so much pain and discomfort in my entire life. Which unfortunately with the life I’ve had,, that’s a high ass bar lmao.

And it was just CONSTANT… I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t look at any screens. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stand. I was literally too weak to even pull a blanket up over myself. I literally was spending every night sobbing/shivering/barfing myself to sleep. It was baaaaaaad.

Luckily my roommate at this point had probably started to get annoyed by hearing me crying from pain all night and was like “dude I’m taking you to the hospital again”

And my third hospital visit !! They FINALLY gave me an answer as to wtf is going on!

Good news is…? Not bone cancer. I don’t have to enter my Deadpool era Quite yet.

Bad news…? Apparently I’ve got fuckin Lupus 🤡

Which is super cute and fun because,, you know. Incurable lifelong chronic illness. I’m literally gonna be dealing with this shit for the rest of my life. :)

But like. It’s a perfectly livable disease. As long as it’s, you know. Actually being taken care of and treated. Which I now have enough info to actually do haha.

(Hit the self-loathing so hard that even my own fuckin immune system was like, oh shit we gotta take this bitch DOWN 💀)

I’m soooo glad to be home and back from the hospital… but it’s been very strange too. I’m still really sick and I can’t really do much on my own and,,, my brain physically doesn’t know how to process being like,, taken care of. Honestly it kinda sets off alarm bells in my brain 😳 but I’ve had to accept pretty damn quickly that,, I don’t really have a choice rn. I’m so used to just being on my own pushing through all my pain and just. Waiting till it goes away on its own. But if I do that in this case… the pain will just get worse and my body will quite literally shut down on me and I will literally die. Sooooo like,,,, 🤡 I guess maybe I can stand to be taken care of for at least a little while.

Doc says with all the damage that’s been done to my organs and stuff this past year, they caught it early enough that the damage is reversible. But I need to undergo a really strict recovery treatment,, and they estimate it’ll be at least 18 months before I’m able to get back to my ~normal healthy baseline~. Which is insane… like am I really gonna be out here living like a sickly hermit for a damn year and a half?? I’m gonna keep feeling better, I know. And I’ll slowly be able to do more again. But I can’t go back to my job. It was causing me waaay too much physical and mental strain. :( so that’s gonna be fun to figure out.

They also put me on literally 12 new medications when I left the hospital to help control my symptoms. Each of which I have to take 1-3 times a day. So that’s super exciting. Love a big bowl of pills for breakfast every morning.

It was torture at first because I hate swallowing pills. But it’s been about a week and I’m honestly getting used to it already. And better yet? Even after only a week… they’re noticeably helping my symptoms… and I’m actually starting to be able to do things again… I *almost* feel like, 60% of a normal human person again,,, maybe even 65%! I’m slowly starting to regain my appetite finally… and I can do little things again… like play the new Pokémon game, or watch anime, or draw, or call a friend on the phone. Which… god what a relief 😭 words cannot describe how good it feels to be able to do those things again… frankly,, it was traumatic having to spend the last few months watching my body physically deteriorate in real time… so now that I’m starting to feel like myself again, if only a little. I’m like. Hey?? I actually love myself so much???? I think I’m a pretty cool fun interesting person. Thank GOD I’m making a comeback 😭😭

Saeyoung of course has been a great source of comfort for me throughout all of this… he always is one of my biggest sources of comfort in life… literally even just imagining him being in the same room as me is enough to put me more at ease…

When things were at their worst a big part of how I dealt with shit was vividly daydreaming about making up silly stories with Saeyoung to distract me. This is something I’ve done for years when I’m too upset or stressed to sleep,,, it’s been a reliable source of comfort for me for a hot minute. But it’s never gotten to this extent haha.

We have a whole ass story going,, I’m actually starting to get pretty attached to the story and the characters… which is stupid AF because it’s literally just. Me and Saeyoung Choi as fantasy self-inserts wherein he’s a court jester and I’m a knight and we’re going on a quest to ~find a cure for my mysterious illness~

But a part of me is like 🥺🤔 what if I actually wrote the story tho? Lmaoooo

Amongst other coping mechanisms and distractions,,, I’ve also been falling HARD into my online shopping addiction. But also, idk, can you blame me…? I’m a material gowrl at heart and I haven’t been able to go shopping in person for months 😔😔 I need little treats to get me through the day.

Mostly I’ve been spending an UNGODLY amount of money on plushies. Like… idk if I could count them and I don’t even wanna THINK about the prices fhdhdjd-

Mostly Pokémon and Sanrio characters. But a few other random critters as well.

And tbh?? I don’t regret a single purchase. They’ve literally all helped me feel more comfortable and joyful these past couple months, which I’ve really needed. So, even if my bed is starting to look RIDICULOUS from sheer volume of plushies…. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m living my best life

A few days ago I got a giant charmander plushy… and like. Ordinarily I’m not even the biggest fan of charmander (shut UP ABOUT CHARIZARD GAMEFREAK. IM OVER IT. GEN 1 IS POPULAR WE GET IT)

But I swear to god this young man is changing my life. It may be the softest squishiest most huggable plush I’ve ever encountered. I’ve been carrying him almost everywhere,,, starting to feel like the “ahh yes. Me, my partner, and their life sized mareep plushy” meme for real 💀💀

((How do you think Saeyoung would feel about me turning our bed into a literal mountain of plushies? Or having to compete for attention with my charmander? Hehe. ))

THERES ONLY ONE MORE THING I WANTED TO SAY…

If you’re actually taking the time to read all of this,,, holy shit thank you. And thank you for providing lonely bitches like me this outlet c’: to be able to talk… and share comfort… and express our deep love for these characters without fear of judgement. It’s really just such a lovely blog and I can never thank you enough.

But the last topic I wanted to touch on!!!

Ugh,,, I read your answer to the ask about Saeyoung with an MC into pastel goth fashion and…

That made me so happy 😭😭❤️❤️

I love fashion,,, so much. Truly one of my greatest joys in life is getting into a really cool fun outfit and strutting around Knowing that I’m cool as fuck and I look like a sexy badass 😤😤 it’s simply the most powerful feeling.

Love when I’m wearing an outfit I know looks fire and I can’t stop smirking haha.

And I just,,, love being flamboyant and silly and having fun with it. I’m 100% the type of person to walk into a store and go “this is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. The colors and patterns are such a mess they’re practically nauseating. I NEED IT.”

I have a collection of tacky button up shirts that could probably blind a man lmao. And JACKETS?? Don’t get me started on jackets. Boots,,, cargo pants,,, earrings,,, big colorful sunglasses. Ugh. <3

Since I’ve been so sick I haven’t been putting much effort into my appearance. My outfits were so joyless for a while… and then, well. I’ve spent the last month and a half wearing exclusively Pajamas and Hospital Gowns 😭

Considering that my main fashion inspirations ordinarily fall somewhere between Elton John, Lil nas x, and Jojo’s bizarre adventure…

Quite the glow down haha

I don’t think I realized fully how much I missed that until I read your ask…

You inspired me to go looking for some fun new clothes online. And now I’m feeling so excited and impatient for them to get here because I can’t remember the last time I got to put together a fun outfit… I actually wanna like,, get up and get dressed for the first time in so long c’: if only to waltz around my apartment a little bit and take a few selfies.

I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back to my FULL level of glamour,, my inflammation is still pretty bad so my face and body are kinda weird and swollen and lumpy right now 🥴 and again,,, standing and walking are still very much a challenge. Idk if I could wear heels right now haha I’m wobbly enough on my feet already.

But I can’t wait to get back into it…

Like you were saying in that ask too… another part of why I love fashion defs has to do with my gender expression… and I LOVE LOVE LOVE when people bring that up with Saeyoung 😭 it always makes me grin and fills me with so much adoration to think about Sae getting to have fun and experience that euphoria with clothing and fashion as well… and especially the thought of us getting to do it together….? c’:

Literally a concept that is SO important and special to me 😭❤️❤️

Idk what kinda wonky matching outfits we’d be putting together but I know that we would look so fuckin cool and hot 😤😤 and best of all we could have so much fun. Which… tbh, there’s nothing more I could ask for in life.

Plus of course,,, there’s always the added fun of self indulgently getting to imagine Saeyoung admiring and complimenting me on my fashion :’D and like,,, thinking I’m cool or whatever 😭

Anyways! Those are all the things I wanted to say.

If you’re still reading this,, //what’s wrong with you bahaha I’m such a rambly mess

But like. Thank you. And deadass if this is too long to read or respond to feel free to leave it in your inbox or just delete it.

Honestly it was just really nice to be able to type out all these thoughts just to sorta. Get it out and decompress, ya know…? c’:

I hope you have an absolutely beautiful day.

While I am happy to hear that you have a better understanding of what's going on in your life, I'm sorry you're going through this transitional time when you discover that you have chronic illness. That has to be the most difficult time for a lot of people. You have to make a lot of adjustments and make changes that you may not be happy with to make sure that you're taken care of. I empathize and understand this because I deal with multiple chronic illnesses. If you ever need a safe space to vent about it, this is always a safe spot. Whether you want it to be posted or not, you can always scream into the inbox.

I hope you don't beat yourself up over the new limitations and changes that are coming into your life. It'll be hard for a little while to get used to everything. But it'll be okay. I can't promise that it'll be easy in the long run. This journey is a lot different for everybody. I think what helps when you feel lonely and isolated in that regard, is to find comfort in the things that make you happy and if that is this video game, then I'm glad that you have it. It's been there for me through all of my experiences so I'm also grateful for it.

I know what it feels like to be lonely and afraid. Having my blog like this... it’s a place where I’m able to help everyone’s dream. It’s simple, it’s small, but I know even the smallest response of “Yes, your favorite character would do this for you today!” means the world to someone on their worst day. I hope that you’re able to find some spoons to dress up and feel good very soon. It’s hard to find a good day sometimes, but you’ll have soon, I’ll cross my fingers for you.

Imagine that, I mean, imagine Saeyoung gushing over you because you found the energy to get up and show off your new outfit. There’s dazzling sparkles in his eyes as he looks at you. His hands are pressed to his mouth, and he looks like he’s going to keel over in delight. He’s absolutely enamored and in love with the sight of you. “You’re so handsome! I can’t take it! I’m in the presence of the best lover! I think I’m the luckiest boyfriend in the world!” Cue him pretending to faint before you ask him if he’s getting dressed, too.

That’s when he springs back up: “Wait, wait, wait, I’ve got the perfect dress that’ll match this. I’ll even let you pick my hair style for the day!”

#longpost #long post #queue #ask #pukey saeyoung anon #mod kait #clownishpossum #also don't worry I've got plenty of daydreams about saeran.#we're coping. this is fine and dandy.#so you and saeyoung? valid.#grief and anger are the things that I felt most at the start so be gentle with yourself.#tw chronic illness

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excelsior9173 · 3 months

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Hihi Exie, just got this one while scrolling insta and I think it’s a different angle on one video that was going around here on tumblr awhile back, but I just 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 about Vessel again, so I thought I’d share.

(Am I tired enough that I almost didn’t send the link? Yes. 😂😂😂, might go to bed an hour early, or at least go be cozy in bed and read on my kindle haha).

Hope you’ve been well, hope you’ve been staying warm.

omggggggg

there are so many things i love about this video. vessel pacing like a caged animal? amazing. that fact that we can barely see ii but can see his drumsticks flying around absolutely made my night lmao. and don’t even get me started on vessel just popping into a different harmony at the end wtf. as an extremely mediocre musician who struggles immensely with harmonies and transposing (i literally did both once in my high school band and have not been able to do it again) i am sooooo jealous of the ear vessel has! he is so so so talented and idk if its any sort of classical training or not but its extremely impressive. being able to spontaneously change things up like that and be in key and all that is hard.

thank you for sending this! i’ve been doing okay, been sick for the last couple weeks but i think i’m finally on the upswing! a little stressed about school but hey, i only have 3 months left how bad can it be? the deep freeze weather is starting to break now too! we got our first day of a wind chill at -30°C, which is still fucking cold but a lot nicer than -50! i’m very excited for things to keep warming up though, will be a lot easier on my lungs and the air wont hurt my face when i go outside 😂 i hope you’ve been well too!! and that you have a good sleep! i’m about to crash for the night too lmao

#exie’s ask box #foxgloveinspace #sleep token #hi! nice to have you here again!!#i love when you stop by it always makes me smile :)#thanks for sharing! i love seeing all the videos lol

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silver-wield · 3 months

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I agree a lot. I always felt like the fans, characters, and the ACC movie gaslights me to question what my actual impression of her was in the game I played. If you go asking about it, the best they can say about aerith is that she's sunshine and something something but nothing about any of her core role nor her bg. It sums up to, she flirts a lot, all about zack, and she got killed. That's it. I don't hear her fans talk about her bg in TOTP. No wonder this debate exists when all she's ever referenced in before TOTP is about her love life. Yeah, even that maiden fanfic. Of course they want a piece of 'that' because her role ain't really doing her any good , character concept wise. Seriously.. if it weren't for TOTP , I'd think woah, why cry and mourn for her for some years when you barely even knew about her. Even her fans don't know her except for shallow stuff mostly inserted Headcanon about her life and personality (no offense this always happen to someone who dies). Meanwhile.. no matter what your opinion of the others who died, what happened to them? Nobody crying for them? Is it because they're no cetra or hero called zack? It's weird, I hate they made tifa cry so much for her in CoT, like wtf did she do for you really to be THIS sad? Like I swear this is OG aerith we're talking about. The one who's affection point goes down if you choose to be a good person to someone else who ain't her. And now she seems to be even worse lmao. Lmao stop gaslighting me devs.

Britt is right, tifa needs to build boundaries. I just hope she's not referring to cloud acting less than who tifa deserves tho. Really..this girl, I'll marry her instead.

When you really look at what's been shown instead of what people HC, she's not a nice person. She's rude, selfish, arrogant, doesn't listen to anyone, privileged, throws herself at Cloud and ignores his rejection, is two faced, jealous, petty and immature.

And yet in AC she's somehow become mother Theresa, but she actually did fuck all for any of the geostigma victims and simply took credit for Cloud weakening Jenova and the remnants enough for the planet itself to take action. People claim that water spout is "great gospel" but it's literally in the script that the planet is responsible, not Aerith. All she does is say "let's go" after the planet healed him.

It's the same at the end of OG. The planet is responsible for saving itself, but because her face is the last thing shown people assumed she was sooooo uber powerful that she made the planet do her bidding.

That's like a flea believing it directs the dog.

#ship war #for the plot #for the fandom

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candy-pants · 4 months

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Oh no I’m so sorry!! I hesitated to say anything cuz I wasn’t sure if you were just taking your time lol. Sorry we’re down to the last day but let’s pack in a lot of questions in that case!! First off, Ashley is kinda slaying in that vid ngl. And I love learning more about latam Disney channel, thanks for sharing!! What show were they on?? And you have a point about Sabrina lol. Switching gears, ofc ik you love descendants and mal and Ben in particular, who are your favs outside of the core four and why? What are your fav ships besides bal and why? And what are your biggest hopes for rise of red? I hope you have a great holiday and enjoy your gift tomorrow!! Sorry again for the miscommunication!! -gcwca secret Santa

don't worry! i was thinking you were busy or something so i didn't say anything either sdjhdhdsj i know tumblr tends to be the worst functioning website on the planet but we're all still here so i guess that says something about us

okay this is gonna be a long one buckle up

1 - they were in a show called que talento! (yes with an exclamation point) and they were basically playing themselves if they went to high school and were still amateurs lol i really liked the theme song but only the show version bc the studio version sounds awful sorry bruno i know you produced it but it sucks

2 - out of the core four (and ben) i have to say uma is a huge fav for me, probably my 3rd favorite character of the franchise. when i heard china anne mcclain was back on disney channel to play her i was sooooo excited and i can't imagine anyone better for the role. i love that she has such a strong sense of justice and community even if her ways aren't necessarily the best. obviously i love that the franchise makes sure to let us know she and mal are two sides of the same coin and if they weren't both so proud and stubborn they'd be friends, but i like that uma isn't just a carbon copy of mal like they're very much two different characters. uma is driven by collectiveness and she cares so hard about everybody it's almost aggressive and she's such a great example of leadership on the isle (as acknowledged by both ben in d2 and mal in d3 (and as a side note i'm obsessed with mal, ben and uma's dynamic and i could ramble on about it for the next 10 years but that's not the point)) and if i don't stop now this is gonna turn into a mal vs uma analysis

3 - i really really love the idea that mal and uma are exes. like to me that's just canon and no one is gonna tell me otherwise bc it doesn't contradict anything! "and how would you know, mal? you've never had [a boyfriend]" so in my head she could have dated uma idc it was probably quick and messy bc they would have this toxic power struggle which ultimately ends in mal not letting her join the gang. i think they would absolutely kill each other as a couple now bc of how similar they are but as exes? hell yeah that's a vibe

as for present day relationships i'm a fan of harry and uma getting together at some point in the future bc lbr those two are in a weird situationship lmao i also love jay and gil!!! very unexpected but jay realizing how jaded he's become after seeing the beauty of gil experiencing things with such wonder and then deciding to do a gap year so they can travel the world together is something that can actually be so personal

ALSO i'm not usually one for crackships but harry x evie had me like 👀 in d3 bc sorry wtf is this

for the record i don't think they should realistically get together, i don't think they'd work out, but the chemistry is there and for some reason kenny chose to highlight it so idk

4 - oooo so rise of red. here's the thing. i'm fully expecting this movie to be bad sdjdshjdjhsjdh i'm mostly worried about these seemingly amateur writers they got. like. even if descendants is its own little fanfiction thing let's at least try to make things coherent inside its own universe. the fact that they all went to school together defeats the purpose of beast UNITING THE KINGDOMS but well anyway let's see what they're gonna do

i like jennifer phang as a director though! she did two eps of cloak and dagger (one of which is 2x01, one of my personal favs) and the pilot of secrets of sulphur springs, so i know she's competent. and mark hofeling is coming back which is GREAT bc changing the production designer would be a terrible move for a spin-off partly set in present day. i just wish kara saun would come back to do the costumes but oh well

i'm so excited to see your gift!!!!! i hope you have a great holiday as well!!!!!!

#ask #gcwca secret santa #this was such a fun ask!!#too bad tumblr fucked us up

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pickabetterusername · 2 years

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okay okay okay okay

i’ve been seeing so many things about Nancy and Jonathon vs. Steve.

personallyyyyy, i really enjoy Nancy with Steve. his character development is just so freakin’ good! he openly talks about his feelings and cares so much for everyone around him. he’s brave in the same way Nancy is and they just…ah i feel like they fit together so well now that he’s matured.

Jonathon on the other hand… idk wtf he was on this season (other than smoking fuckton of weed lmao) but it’s like he matured backwards?? he’s so scared of disappointing Nancy that he’s doing it inadvertently which is sooooo much worse. we can’t be doin’ that sweetie.

do Jonathon and Nancy know each other really well and respect the living hell out of each other? absolutely! and i hope that never ends, but i really think the relationship part should end. they can still love each other and agree that they are no longer right for each other. people change, people make decisions for themselves and have to move on from something anchoring them down to their past sometimes. it’s okayyyyyy

also if Robin doesn’t end up with that cute band girl i’m gonna be so sad because they were so cute together in the last ep. and OHH Steve was literally so happy and proud and he’s such a GOOD guy.

anywho, back to the point. Steve’s development makes him the perfect guy and he’s still in love with Nancy so why not just let him have it.

#stranger things #stancy #steve harrington #nancy wheeler

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sol-shines · 10 months

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Hey I already know about our blorbos but. I’m enabling you. Talk about Audri ❤️

HI BABY !!!

explodes . where does one begin. "talk about audri" to me is like "write a novel" (i know that you know this and i love you btw,,)

WELL. here she is

she's my skrunkly. she had a great life for like a decade or so until an actual god was like actually what's up small child you're my Special Little Guy now :) you're gonna have to be the hero of prophecy and clean up my mess btw . i hope you enjoy being hunted for sport and also being treated like a concept rather than a person !!!! so as you might imagine she turned out to be Well-Adjusted and Normal (lie)

sooooo said god kinda just went "lmao bye" after all that and didn't really give her a bunch of other instructions so she's been sorta fumbling around trying to figure out wtf she's supposed to do to save the Entire Multiverse. at first it was scary and now she just has intense trust issues and is tired of giving a shit !!!!

she met emma when audri was on the run from some folks and surprisingly decided to trust each other at a crucial moment. it took a while for them to warm up and fully trust each other but once they did they were fucking inseparable. they were the first two members of the crew and the rest got built up from there

that's the sparknotes version i am clawing at the walls trying not to overshare BUT she's so much please trust me when i tell you this. she's repressed rage and religious trauma and she's getting truman show'd as we speak :))))) PLEASE love her

(ty again em for letting me rant !!!!! love you mwah <3)

#asks #sol speaks #ocs #mm #audri #the SHE. that is all thank you

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firelord-frowny · 10 months

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Frowny, Frowny! What are these weird bugs that came in my building en masse and DIED?!

There were literally so many! This was just one part of one corner! (submission from @itsmerandi)

______________________

OK THESE ARE MY LITERAL LEAST FAVORITE ARTHROPOD ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND I WILL TELL! YOU! WHY!

These are called ~european chafer beetles.~ emphasis on the ~european~. They're a VERY invasive species, and look like smaller versions of a native and not NEARLY as annoying species, the may/june beetle.

european chafer beetles emerge from underground every year in late june/early july IN MASSIVE NUMBERS. like, they're only slightly less numerous than the 17 year cicadas. (ok thats probably a BIT of an exaggeration, but not by much.) They're strictly nocturnal, and are usually well hidden all day, and then come out at night where they gather in large numbers around light sources. they're also TERRIBLE fliers and will just fuckin bump and bang and crash into everything everywhere.

Now lemme tell you why i hate these pieces of shit. i HATE THEM and imma TELL YOU WHYYYYYYYYY oh my GOD!!!

Imagine: I'm like 7 years old. Cute as a button. Frolicking around a Marshalls while my mommy shops. I'm wearing my favorite lil red pants that are Way Too Tight because i've outgrown them but they're my favorites so i crammed myself into them anyway.

As i'm frolicking, carefree and Not At All Traumatized, I feel something itchy against the back of my right knee. Something's stuck in my pant leg! I'm like, oh, it's probably a twig, or a crumb, or something completely non-disturbing. right? RIGHT?

So i'm trying to get this itchy thing out of my pants and i literally just shove my whole arm down the back of my pants lmaooo and i'm walking around looking like a fucking doofus. i spent like 5 minutes trying to cram my hand down far enough to reach whatever was in my pants.

Eventually, I could feel it fall down and out my pant leg! So i'm like, oh yay! lemme see what it was!

AND IT WAS A FUCKING EUROPEAN CHAFER BEETLE, RANDI!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE WAS A FUCKING DEAD BEETLE SQUISHED AGAINST MY LEG IN MY FAVORITE FUCKING RED PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

randi. i. fucking. SCREAMED!!!!! and BURST into tears! and my mom is all, wtf!!!! and i'm pointing at this fucking beetle on the floor like "IT WAS IN MY PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS" and i cried and cried and cried oh my god i was SOOOOO DISTURBED!!!!

but oh, oh wouldnt it be SO NICE if the story ended there???

WELL IT DOESN'T. IT DOESN'T END THERE, RANDI!!!! IT DOESN'T! END! THERE!

Because ya know what? YA KNOW WHAT???

every. single. summer. for the next TEN YEARS!!!!!! at least ONE european chafer beetle would somehow find its way inside my clothes while i was wearing them! and i had the EXACT SAME reaction every single time! Scream and immediately burst into tears!!!!

the other two Worst Incidents i can clearly remember happened in the summers between 10th and 11th grades.

10th grade: My fam is out fishing on my dead uncles boat! we finish up the fishing trip, dock the boat at the marina, and then my mom and i went to go wait in the lil indoor area while my dad and brother cleaned the fish. the indoor area is a nice comfy lil place with couches and a pretty fish tank annnd im pretty sure i was spinning around in circles and enjoying the wide open space lmao im just being an overgrown kid, spinning around having a grand ol time. I decided to take off my lil jacket and swing it around while i was spinning because idk it just seemed like a goddamn fun thing to do!

RANDI!!!! as i took hold of the edge of my jacket to take it off, i felt my thumb touch something round and smooth and i just knew. i KNEW!!!! i KNEW what it was before i even saw it! and i SCREAMED and started crying and i flung my whole jacket off and threw it across the room and my mom is all WTF HAPPENED??? and i tell her it was a beetle! and she's like, no it wasn't! there's no beetle! and im like YES THERE IS!!! and sure efuckingnough, my mom goes over to examine my jacket and theres a FUCKING BEETLE INSIDE IT!!!! :( :( :(

the 11th (or maybe 12th? idk) grade incident happened on 4th of July when i went with ebone to the lil firework celebration in her neighborhood! by this time, i was WELL AWARE of the beetle threat, and i was hypervigilant and paranoid all night because i was wearing a cute lil strapless sundress and there were just SOOOO MANY WAYS a beetle could get inside it if it wanted to! so i was constantly like, hugging my arms real close to my chest to try to block any beetles from getting in, and/or i would sorta grab the bottom of my dress to sorta hold it tight against my legs so there was no room for any fuckin intruders.

then somehow????????? we wound up walking back to her place in nearly pitch black darkness through a forest???? i dont remember how or why that happened lmfao but the only light was a dim lil rinky dink cell phone light a la 2009 motorola razor lmaoooo and the whole time im like please god PLEASE GOD do NOT LET ME RUN INTO ANY BEETLES!!!!

and i was sooooo sure i'd escaped, randi. i was SO POSITIVE that i made it unscathed!

fast forward to after my mamma picks me up and im back at home. i gotta pee so i go to the bathroom. hike up my dress.

and feel against my fingers the grotesquely smooth and disturbingly flexible elytra of my most soulless and hideous enemy, the monstrosity that is the European Chafer Beetle. 😡Cue the screaming and crying.

TO THIS VERY DAY, as soon as i see one of those lil pieces of shit when im outside at night, i take my ass in the house RIGHT QUICK. i hate them. I HATE THEM OH MY GODDDDDDD! theyre not even supposed to BEEEEEE HEEERRREEEEE!!!!!!! WHYYYY DID THEY TERRORIZE ME SO!!!! I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO THEM! I'M A BUG LOVER! I LOVE BUGS! I DIDN'T DESERVE THEIR WRATH!!!!

but yeah, they're called european chafer beetles lmao.

#submission

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