#sometimes my dreams are a wonderful place

[wittlesissyb4by]

Why do we keep letting these pigs get off scott-free? They think they can come in, play with our hearts and our heads, then cut and run and do the same to some other poor girl! Hell, sometimes they’re doing it to multiple women at the same time!

Well, I say “no more”! No longer will we let these immature men run around and take advantage of women! It’s time we take a stand! Starting with little Benjamin here.

Benny tried to slip a little something in my drink at the club last week and thought I wouldn’t notice. Little did he know, I’d already been watching him, planning a little bit of payback after what he did to my friend Lauren. She cried for weeks over this guy.

So when Benny wasn’t looking, I did the ‘ole switcheroo, he was out like a light 2 hours later.

Ohh you should have seen Benny’s face when he woke up for the first time! His hands and feet were chained to his new crib, and he kicked his little legs when he saw (or felt) what he had on. Every flail of his body only made his fresh new diaper crinkle louder and louder. He whined and cried and screamed as much as his gag would allow. But Benny had no idea that was just the beginning.

He thought, he really thought he wasn’t going to have to use his diaper, that it was just there for funsies. The way he moaned and groaned as he clenched and tucked his legs, trying anything he could to quell the painful throbbing coming from his very full bladder. I told him to save himself the torment, that all he was doing was delaying the inevitable, but still he resisted. To his credit, he made it a whole ‘nother thirty minutes before he sighed in relief and flooded his diaper for the very first time. His whimpers and whines after were pathetically adorable.

He drank the bottle out of desperation. He was obviously starving, and I made it clear he would not get out of his (now *very* wet) diaper until he finished the whole thing. I wonder if he could taste the laxatives and hormones mixed within? No matter, he certainly seemed to notice the effects about an hour later when he started fussing and complaining about the cramps.

“Just get over it,” I spat back at him, something I’ve heard way too many men say when they learn a woman is on her period, “just don’t be such a bitch!”

When I tell you: the man cried. Like, full-on bawled like a baybee when he couldn’t hold it anymore and started shitting all over himself in that diaper. He continued to cry for the next 3 hours when I refused to change him. I made him sit and wallow in his own filth while he thought about his life choices.

Reluctantly, his diaper was eventually changed, but so was his outfit. His eyes were wide as saucers when i held up the pink onesie and frilly skirt, but they closed soon after once the drugs kicked in. He woke up halfway through me doing his make-up, and seemed less than thrilled when the wig was put on.

Now, one week later, he’s mostly silent in his crib. I’m not sure if it’s the cocktail of hormones in his system messing with his brain, or he has finally accepted that this isn’t all a dream, that this isn’t going to stop, and this is his new life now. Any attempts to run will just lead to the thousands of pictures I have of him ending up all across the internet. The livestreams of him pooping his pampers notwithstanding. He’s quite docile now. He knows to keep that pacifier in his mouth otherwise it will delay his diaper change by several hours. It only took him a few rashes to learn to comply.

Lauren is now on her way over to get a look at the so-called “Man” that broke her heart. I highly doubt she’ll feel any sort of anguish now. Knowing her, she’ll have even more fun with him than I have.

So this is a call to all women, it is high time we put these deadbeat little fuck bois in their place. Take back what is ours. Let’s fight the patriarchy and turn it into a true Matriarchy, one pathetic little pervert at a time!

[coffeedepressionsoup]

Somebody Does Love | MYG - She Thinks She Falls First

Pairing - Yoongi x F!reader

Summary - "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Two people are in love but that is not enough because sometimes loving requires courage.

This is the one where she explores her very mild crush on him. Part 5 of Somebody Does Love.

Series Masterlist

Genre - fluff, strangers to lovers, eventual smut and angst

Word count - 4k+

Warnings - lil swearing, drinking, Yoongi’s fluffy hair, Yoongi’s hands

Ratings - 13+

Taglist: @majiiisstuff @starlighttaek8 @yoongrace @proudnoona @7ndipity

A/N - I start working a 10-hour shift in less than two hours and I have not slept a wink. This has been sitting in drafts for way too long and I have no idea why I was resolute to finish it today. It might seem a bit all over the place, but hey, welcome to my head, I live like this.

The word count is definitely not my way of overcompensating for the prolonged absence. Partially proofread. The chapter naming has been lame. I know. But it is what it is. Also here is the closest thing I found on the internet to the Woolfie + Ash dynamic I am imagining. And the Yoongi in my mind as I was writing this, in case you are wondering.

I am using my last two brain cells to upload this. Please like, comment, and reblog to share your thoughts and feedback. DM me if you want to be added to/removed from the tag list. This delirious fever dream is now yours to deal with. Enjoy!

“I still don’t understand what you mean by a memorable smirk. Why are you bothered at all by someone’s smirk?”

“I mean it’s the cutest smirk ever and I know “smirks a lot” does not paint an endearing picture, but like- what he has mostly is not a smile, but you know he is having a good time. Like he’s too lazy to have a full grin and the best he can do is pull up his lips slightly and-”

“This is borderline creepy now. Why-”

“Are you not listening? He’s just cute and I cannot forget about his smile.”

“Well, isn’t he too lazy to-”

“UGH!! You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, you have it bad.”

“I don’t have anything. And it’s not bad…”

“But?”

“He’s cute. Funny. Attentive. And nice hands.”

“Really?” In their almost half an hour conversation, it’s the first genuine curiosity Samairah has shown about your supposed crush.

You now had a triumphant smirk yourself and nodded, “Yes, very nice hands.”

“You do realise that you can yourself ask him out?” Samairah quirked her brows, her tone reminding you of a disappointed tutor.

“I know! But bro! He’s really good friends with Sammy and they work closely and it can get so messy.”

It has been 10 days since you walked in on Sammy and Yoongi in the middle of a songwriting session at almost midnight. 10 days since you knew for sure that Yoongi’s hair felt softer than it already looked. 10 days since your first -

“Sure it can. But it can go well too especially since he seems interested as well,” Samairah said after gulping down the rest of her banana oat smoothie.

You could not help but bark out a disbelieving laughter, “Yeah right..”

“What?”

“He seems interested, you said.”

“Yeah and?”

“That doesn’t seem likely.”

“Why?”

Because he is an international icon and probably the hottest rapper-producer on planet Earth and you were whoever you are. But you did not want to tell her that. In fact, all Samairah knew about your “crush” was that you met him at a house party and he is close with one of your best friends. Not that you wanted to lie or actively hide anything from her. She had not asked for a name when you had not given one. And she did not mind that. She knew you would have your reasons and will tell her if and when you want to. Your friendship was comfortable like that.

All you said out loud was, “Because he does not seem interested. You are just saying shit because you want me to ask him out.”

“And that would be a bad motivator why exactly?” Before you could fully roll your eyes at the rhetorical question, she started listing out in a matter-of-fact tone, overstating her points by holding up a finger with each of them, “You are clearly infatuated with him. Also, to be quite honest everything you told me up until now screams like the first few chapters of an idiot-to-lovers trope story.”

“Fucking hell! Hold your horses Mari. What lovers? We haven’t even gone on a single date yet.”

“He made japchae the exact way you like it, the very next day that you talked about it, which was apparently also the day you first met!” Samairah’s exasperated tone shut you up. It did strike you as odd when that happened. But you remember feeling more endeared and way too many butterflies in your gut at his presence to register and/or question the legitimacy of his “made too much” excuse at the time.

“And he’s dropping by willy-nilly wherever you are at.”

No, I mean, he had very valid reasons all of those times. Right?

Right.

Even at the vet’s appointment for Ash earlier that week.

He could not possibly have waited a couple more days till you were all supposed to meet at Aera’s place to return the portable charger he borrowed. You might need it on your daily commute and if anything, nobody should be trapped in Seoul traffic with a dead phone. What would you stare at? The people in the car window next to you? The ones hanging off the same supporting rail as you on the train? No, Yoongi had been considerate.

Sammy had turned up at Genius Lab aka Yoongi’s studio and they played around with the chorus of the song they were working on one afternoon. Once they were satisfied with a structure, Sammy politely turned down Namjoon’s offer for a drink (which caught Yoongi’s attention because when has any of his friends ever declined a drink) on his way out, saying he had to drive Y/N and Ash to the vet since you don’t feel comfortable driving on Seoul roads yet, despite carrying a valid International Driver's Permit.

The mention of your name drove Yoongi quieter and turned his ears and cheeks red at an alarming speed. Did the boys notice? Yes. Did Yoongi catch them exchanging a knowing smirk following that? No. Did he ask for details of the vet clinic and the time of appointment? Yes. Did he say out loud that he is free to drive Y/N, in fact, he would gladly volunteer? No. Did Sammy update an innocuous group chat with Yoongi’s ‘being in the neighbourhood and deciding impulsively to give the power bank back’ appearance later that evening? Yes. Did anyone buy that excuse? No.

Not even you. Not when he sputtered it out initially. Not when he took off his mask momentarily in an almost empty reception to shower Ash with a bunch of kisses. Not even when a pang of unspecified recognition hit you. You did not believe him.

Just Sunday night, that is tonight, Aera had invited all her close friends for a housewarming party. You first met her a couple of years ago through Dojoon. She was a doctor. And Dojoon’s friend. With some benefits. There are times when their friends swear they are dating. Then there are times when they know not to speak of each other in front of them. The fact that Aera’s new apartment is directly across from the hall from Dojoon’s is officially supposed to be coincidental. She apparently realised after she finalised with the agent that she was standing in a familiar hallway. And yeah, every one of you decided to believe it, of course.

So yeah, the charger return could have waited but you decided to believe it was because Yoongi did promise to return it ASAP and that particular Wednesday evening was it. He was a man of his word. He had flown away for a short work trip to Osaka for two days. His phone was almost out of charge. He had to drive directly to the airport. In fact, Soojin was waiting for him, with all his essentials on standby. You, however, figured he would not have time to get his charger. So you voluntarily offered your portable one to him.

He could just use the direct charger in his car. But you did not think of it at the moment. And Yoongi did not remind you of it. He took the one you offered. Used it on his way to the airport, through his stay in Osaka and charged it back up once he returned, carrying it around in his jacket with his wallet and keys.

Now, as to why would you be with him when his phone was almost dying and he was about to fly out of the country? It’s because Yoongi was at Sammy’s place, trying to write a song. Pleasantly buzzed on beer and completely engrossed in the task. And you were, as of the last discussion on the matter, Sammy’s housemate. Yes, plans changed since you first arrived in the city, and you would say for the better. Living with Sammy was not as chaotic as you anticipated and once you saw Ash and Woolfie bonding, you did not have the heart to separate them or yourself away from the duo. And the “people always coming over to Sammy’s and not having the bandwidth to deal with it” was not a particular problem at the moment.

You had grown quite fond of the most frequent visitor.

The first night you walked in to unexpectedly find Yoongi at Sammy’s place, you remember the knots building up in your stomach. You had not yet acknowledged your evident crush on him. You would think the older people got, the easier it was to deal with all this. Bullshit.

It did not help that soon after Sammy left to walk Woolfie. You tried to keep your tone and conversation as neutral as possible. And you would like to believe you succeeded. Once you managed to convince him to stay for dinner (to be honest, all you had to do was ask once), you excused yourself to go wash up. You squealed into your damp towel as you found yourself carefully styling your hair to appear as carelessly proper as possible.

Your squeal had not reached Yoongi several rooms away but it had managed to wake your fur baby up from her nap. She yawned, stretched, itched the back of her ears with her paws and marched out of your room alongside you to greet the man. The greeting she extended was calculated for the first couple of minutes, as she went around sniffing and staring at him from different angles around his feet. Soon she decided to lick her stamp of approval on his nose once she allowed him to pick her up. Since then she remained on his lap, by his feet or on his shoulder, till the time he left.

The conversation, guided by Ash’s heartwarming existence, revolved comfortably around pets. He asked about your childhood pets and told you about his. He also proudly spoke about the different personalities of Tony and Scar, his two rescue cats. Once you asked to see pictures, you were allowed to surf through two whole albums with hundreds of photos of the cats as well as Holly, the famed cockapoodle.

You caught yourself staring at him a few times that night, making you the second person to do so. You stared at his bright, warm eyes that had a certain glimmer that you could not define. Sometimes you stared at the way he threw back his head in laughter and the bobble of his Adam’s apple. Oh, his laughter! The sound of it! The look of it! You noticed it more than you did the previous night. The lines it created around his mouth and his eyes, you wanted to trace them lightly with your fingers and later intertwine them with his slender ones. Not just his fingers though, you noticed the way his forearm would subtly flex every time he pushed his hair back in the middle of conversation. And his fucking hair.

It is the softest head of hair you have ever seen, you could swear. You thought it was difficult not to actually reach out and feel it on the first night he came over. That was until the second time. You were sitting much closer together at that time. You were much more drunk than the two beers you had with dinner the last time. You also had much more daydreaming under your belt about the man sitting beside you. If you had not chickened out at the last minute, you wondered if you could thread your fingers in his hair to hold him closer in a kiss. You wondered the same at different times on different days till 10 days back.

You were pretty drunk from the departmental dinner with your colleagues. Samairah had been on driving duty that evening and pretty sober. She offered to walk you to the elevators of the building when she came to drop you off but you promised you could manage by yourself. And you did. But the walls along the way were integral to your vertical stability.

In half a mind to ring the bell instead of punching the code in, you leaned against the doorframe for a few moments. Composing yourself a bit, you let yourself in, steady enough to walk straight, away from walls.

As you walked towards the hall area, you heard guitar strumming and distinct humming voices. Voice-s. Multiple. Two, to be precise. And you need not be alarmed. The second voice could be anybody. Except it wasn’t. You recognised Yoongi’s deep, now slightly raspy voice over Sammy’s. Before you turned from the narrow entryway to the room, you could feel your heartbeat rise and your hands started feeling clammy.

The boys did not notice you come in.

As Sammy lightly hummed a melody and typed into the laptop in front of him, Yoongi kept playing a distinct hook on what you recognised as one of Sammy’s guitars.

“Do you see what I mean-” Yoongi asked and paused before changing to a different set of chords, this one more mellow than before. With the change, you noticed his tongue slightly poke out the side of his mouth, set in deep concentration.

Sammy took a sip out of an opened can of beer lying on the floor between them. Who knows which is whose anymore? He nodded looking down at his phone, and started singing some words out with the tune he was humming before.

Yoongi let out a non-verbal sound you could best define as a soft groan of approval as you saw him changing the chords to match the tune Sammy was singing.

You probably would have stood there till either of the two turned to see you. But your phone pinged with a notification alert and although it wasn’t too loud, it stood out enough for both Yoongi and Sammy to pivot from their places on the ground near the sofa.

Feeling conscious of the newly gained attention of the whole room, you tried to laugh off the cocktail of nervous surprise and drunken flush. “Hi,” you waved a little.

Sammy patted the spot next to him, sipping on one of the open beers again, “Come listen to this,” and started humming again.

You walked over as steadily and casually as possible and when you sat down, you could hear a soft “hi” escape Yoongi’s slightly parted lips. You smiled at him and could see a smile threatening to break out on his face as well, which appeared when you said, “You’re red,” and immediately bit your lips because ‘Wow were you drunk.’

Yoongi tried his best to explain that it was just the alcohol and that it was uncharacteristically hot tonight. You nodded and decided to honour his failing defence once your eyes met. But you also felt like you could see through him at the time. You could seemingly read a similar pining and nervousness within him that you felt. But you tried convincing yourself that half of it was spirit-induced delusions.

“Is this a new song?” you leant over to see the laptop screen which Sammy turned slightly for your ease and nodded.

“Genius here wrote this under 10 minutes,” he gestured towards the accused.

Yoongi felt “redder” but it physically was not possible. His sense of embarrassment, however, was graver than before. “Fuck no, I just came up with some beats. Sammy filled these in,” he protested and leaned over to trace over the mixer timeline on the laptop.

To do that though, he had to lean over you. Partly. And when he did, there was a pregnant pause in the room.

Yoongi stilled the moment he could feel your breath fanning his ear. You froze when you caught a whiff of his… shampoo? Cologne? Aftershave? All of it? You were not a perfumer by any means, but if your olfactory senses served you right, you are pretty sure that is the best smell any human being has ever exuded. Contrarians could argue with the wall.

Sammy was not unmoving but he chose to remain quiet with a wide grin on his face.

Yoongi withdrew after a millenium-long two-second pause and cleared his throat.

You followed suit and said, “It sounds good regardless. Fresh,” to neither of the boys in particular. All your drunken slur had vanished in a whiff of what you decided your favourite smell was going to be henceforth.

Later in the night, once you freshened up and made coffee for everyone, and the guitar and laptop were put away, you all ended up talking about life, love and well, love life.

Sammy believed in the possibility of love at first sight, as did Yoongi. “Yeah, I think it is quite romantic. I don’t think it happens to many people or as often as people claim. But I believe it is a reality for some people.”

After taking in the silent nods across the room, he tipped his slightly towards you, and asked, “What about you?”

“Oh I don’t believe it exists,” you said after a small sip of your flat white.

“Love at first sight?”

“Yeah”

“Doesn’t exist?”

“I cannot imagine it does, no,” you chuckled out this time at Yoongi’s apparent disbelief.

Yoongi nodded slowly, with a smile of his own accompanied by a slight scowl.

Sammy, having chugged his hazelnut cold coffee, was now lying on the couch, half asleep. He nudged Yoongi’s back lightly with his knee, and said, “Ask her why.”

“Go the fuck off to slee-”

“Why?”

You cursed out and Yoongi asked sincerely at the same moment. Your eyes met.

You swore you could get lost in them, stare at them forever. Memorise every line and freckle.

“I don’t think it’s practical.”

“Love is wild, subjective. It does not need to be practical or rational.”

“There’s a semblance of cause for the effect that we experience as love. They are adorable,” you pointed to Wooflie and Ash locked in a defensive face-off mid-zoomies on the other side of the room. You then moved to point at the guitar and the laptop, “This brings you joy.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows pulled together in a scowl. You had concluded by now that was indicative of his increased attention level. You continued, “We know they are likely to leave us behind one day and you know making music and putting it out there is tough, challenging but you love these anyway. I think we choose to love something or someone despite a lot of shortcomings or adversities. Not because they behave in a manner or look a certain way. And I believe you need more than a sight for that to happen.”

You drew in a deep breath and looked away. You had held his gaze for too long than is comfortable for him, you thought. And then you rambled on about love. It sounded so annoying and pretentious when you thought back. You were certain that you had sabotaged any budding chance for romance you had by dissing on something as romantic as love at first sight.

All that was conjecture, of course, but you would not find out about that until much later.

Yoongi’s scowl remained as it was when he said, “That is so romantic.”

Before you could reply, Sammy quipped in. “That she is.”

It made Yoongi smile and you huff lightly in mock disbelief. The conversation was then interrupted by you being tackled down by Woolfie. Unbeknownst to you, the zoomies area of dispatch had shifted to where you were sitting.

You laughed as you pet the husky back when he licked your face and play-growled at Ash to join in. The cat, however, refused to get on the floor as if it was lava. She marched promptly from one of the armrests on the sofa, to a cushion near Sammy’s head. She then gently kneaded into the cushion, occasionally sniffing and biting into it.

One moment of bliss but soon chaos erupted.

The cushion burst open in the room, spilling the contents within the room and onto Sammy and Yoongi, who were closer to the scene of the crime.

Either spooked by the loud noise or to escape admonishment, the kitten responsible for the mishap had darted back to the other end of the room. Woolfy followed suit.

You looked at Sammy, who had miraculously fallen asleep in the few seconds since his cocky quip, evident from the soft snores, and then locked eyes with Yoongi once more.

By his episodic blinking and alert posture, you could tell he was startled. Once he met your eyes though, both of you fell into a giggle as you took in the situation and saw the cotton all over, especially on him.

He managed to dust off most of it, collecting it all and intentionally dropping and arranging it over Sammy’s unfazed body. You laughed louder seeing the juvenile prank unfold, but quickly covered your face to muffle it lest you wake your friend up.

Once you managed to gather your composure, you saw a cotton ‘snowman’ over Sammy’s torso and the likeness of a Santa beard over his face. As all true friends should, the two of you were quick to pull out your phone and click a respectable couple of images before turning to look at each other again.

With every time your eyes met, you felt like you could understand more of what they said. This time around, it was something like, “I am glad I have this moment with you.” You fiercely agreed with the thought, internally, of course. It was not all conjecture. But you did not know yet.

You looked around and realised the mess once again. Sooner or later you had to clean it up. The easiest place to begin was the cups. You picked up two and on cue, Yoongi grabbed the third as you filed towards the kitchen.

He caught up to you in two strides and at the sink, grabbed for the washpad first. At your silent protests of a frown and attempt to grab the item back, “Please, I got this.”

It was soft. Short. Sure. Sweet?!

You were about to sigh and step back when your eyes went to his hair. Well, you didn’t mean to ogle at him up close but a couple of balls of lint caught in his dark locks disrupted your plans.

Almost instinctively, you reached out and murmured, “Oh, you have-”

Words got stuck in your throat. You could almost feel the air being kicked out of your system when you felt his soft hair under your fingers. You did not move your hands for a beat. And two.

And on the third, as you pulled the lint out, you could not help, but lightly comb through the side of his head.

Once, for good measure. Twice, for good luck. Cannot have lints clumped wildly on THE Min Yoongi’s hair now of course.

At the second glide of your nails against his head, Yoongi choked in a bubbling moan but shut his eyes to feel it better, to relieve the tingle and just take it all in.

However, the tingle also caused his arms to jerk in a manner that knocked off the cup he was meant to be washing off his hands.

As both of you scrambled to prevent another household item from being destroyed that night, you were caught in another unblinking stare-off with Yoongi. You managed to grab the cup from hitting the floor and Yoongi ended up ‘cupping’ your hands.

The touch. Electrifying. Not just figuratively. You could sense this all over. And it was just his palms over the back of your hands.

Despite them being wet, his hands were quite warm. Immediately then you decided what your favourite hand warmer was.

Your heart rate picked up at an alarming rate though once you felt one of his thumbs rub a small spot over your hands.

Your gaze, still unmoving. Your breaths, unsteady.

You possibly would have stayed in that staredown, had Yoongi’s phone not vibrated in his pocket, with a call from Soojin, asking him to leave on time for the airport, since earlier today the global rap sensation requested his manager to allow him to drive to the airport himself. Change of pace, more time alone with his thoughts, he thought.

Scurrying out for the airport while touching (almost holding) your hands was not on his bingo card. But there he was.

#bts x reader #bts x y/n #yoongi fic #bts fic #bts scenarios #bts #min yoongi #bts suga #suga #yoongi #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi fanfic #min yoongi x you #suga bts #min yoongi fic

[penkura]

Hey there my lovely penguin lover,

I hope you will like my idea. I would love to see a scenario where penguin has a fever or something like that and y/n takes care of him. And maybe he has a fever dream and is confessing his feelings for y/n and because he is delulu in this moment maybe he thinks its a dream and kiss her or something like that and the next day he doesnt remember anything anymore. Y/n is flustered af and shachi (maybe the Rest of the crew) is teasing him because they knew that he might done something.

Does this make any sense? Anyway i hope you will like this idea. Many love to you and twke care of yourself.

Omggg hiiii fellow Penguin lover, your fics make me so happy to see them omg.

I loved this request sm, but I had to break it into two parts! I didn't want it to be too long and wanted to make sure I hit everything, but here's part one! I'll have part two posted soon and tag you in it of course!! :)

Normally you wouldn’t mind being left behind while the rest of your crew took off to visit and scope out the most recent island you’ve surfaced it, your captain Law giving you all a reprieve to have a small break and stretch your legs. You’d go into town with Ikkaku, or Shachi and Penguin, sometimes Bepo, and start to find where you could restock anything that was needed, before reporting to Law and him letting you go do as you pleased. Ikkaku was likely to drag you into all the stores to find new clothes and the like, Penguin would always look out for a bookstore to take you to, and Shachi and Bepo would find a place for all of you to have a meal together before you returned to the Polar Tang. That’s under normal circumstances though.

Today, you’d rather be out and in the sun, but you’ve been enlisted to take care of the bedridden Penguin. He’d suddenly come down with a fever the day before, your captain believing it to be stress, it didn’t seem to be viral or anything like that. Penguin had likely overworked himself, something he’d become prone to doing lately for some reason, you’ve even told him to relax numerous times, somethings could wait until a bit later to be done, but he’d quickly brush you off with a smile and run off to whatever was next.

“What a sorry state you’ve gotten yourself into, Penguin,” you hum while watching him, a damp washcloth covering from his forehead down over his eyes while he tried to breathe easily, “I told you all of that stuff could wait, or I could’ve helped you…”

Penguin has been out of it for hours now. He’s woken up a few times, almost in delusion from his fever, once thinking he was in the ocean outside the submarine and another time believing there were aliens hiding in the ship. Law tried to keep him asleep longer with a light sedative, that was before the alien dream that woke him in complete terror. He only calmed down enough to go back to bed when you started talking to him, promising him everything was fine, and he let you walk him back to his bed. Law requested you stay behind today, it seemed like Penguin was only going to stay calm with you around, but he’d send Shachi or Ikkaku back later to give you a break.

Now, he’s been completely calm and sleeping the last couple of hours, it makes you happy to see him finally relaxing. You do wonder how on earth it was only you who could calm him down, not even Shachi was able to convince him to lay back down after the second fever dream. Your red-haired friend snickered a bit, saying something along the lines of “as if you don’t know”, but you really don’t, you’re still confused by it. Ikkaku had wished you good luck when she left, a smile on her face that told her she was thinking about your crush on Penguin, and how you now had alone time with him, even though he’s sick in bed.

You flip through a magazine Ikkaku let you borrow for a few minutes, before you hear Penguin start to stir, moving to take the washcloth of his face before you move to stop it.

“Hey, wait, you still need that, Penguin,” grabbing his hand to stop him, you realize the washcloth isn’t cool anymore, he must be warming up again, “Let me get this wet again, lay back down.”

Penguin barely recognizes that its you taking care of him, his fever is making everything foggy in his head, its like he’s not really there. But he believes he must be dreaming again, there’s no way you, who he’s been absolutely enthralled and in love with the last three years, was taking care of him. Its another fever dream, right? Right, it must be Ikkaku taking care of him this time, the fever is just making him think it’s you. He sits up and tries to focus on your back, still convinced it’s just Ikkaku taking care of him, and just starts talking.

“Hey…Ikka…you think she’ll…hate me?”

“What’re you talking about? Who would hate you?”

“[Y/N]…will she hate me?”

Once you have the washcloth wet again, you bring it over to Penguin and start pressing it against his forehead, tilting your head in confusion in the process.

“Why would I—she hate you?”

“Cause I…I love her so much…but haven’t told her…”

Stopping, your face feels flush, and your heart picks up, not having expected that from Penguin. Ikkaku has never told you that Penguin has feelings for you, let alone that he’s in love with you. She’s never giving you even a hint that he might like you back, even with you constantly swooning over him secretly. She seemed to have a smile every time you did, always telling you to just go down the hall and tell him, it had been four years for heaven’s sake, its about time some kind of romance happened on this submarine!

“I…what?”

“You’re a girl…how do I tell her?”

At least he can’t tell that it’s actually you he’s talking to, the fever is really doing its work on him. He really thinks he’s talking to Ikkaku, you wonder how many times they’ve gone back and forth about this, if he’s asking about it now.

“Just,” you take a deep breath and try to make him lay down, but he’s still much stronger than you even bedridden with a high fever, he doesn’t budge, “Just tell her, Penguin…I’m sure it’ll go well.”

“But how?”

“I don’t know!” Penguin relents just a bit and leans back a little when you push him, but he still stares you with those half-lidded blue eyes, its so hard for him to make out that it’s you still. “Just…tell her! Go up to her and say, ‘I love you’ and see what happens!”

He quiets, looking like he might be thinking even though he really should be laying down, before nodding and speaking again, like he’s practicing and has done so with Ikkaku multiple times. He has, you just don’t know right now, Ikkaku tells you this later down the line when you bring this day up to her.

“Okay…[Y/N]…?”

“Y-Yeah, Penguin?” you swallow, still wondering if this is actually happening or if you’re having a fever dream now. It can’t be real; it just can’t be. There’s no way Penguin loves you back, just no way.

“I…” His fever is hitting him again, he really should be laying down, but he doesn’t realize he’s doing this, “I…love you, [Y/N].”

You think he’s passing out when he starts to lean towards you but realize he’s not when he quickly kisses you, being actually passing out and his forehead hits your shoulder. He’s still burning up, from the fever or embarrassment you’re not sure, but now that he’s back asleep, you’re able to push him back to laying down again. Placing the washcloth back on his forehead, you don’t stay in the room and instead leave, quietly closing the door behind you while your face burns out of your own embarrassment and you finally take a real breath again.

That didn’t just happen. That DIDN’T just happen. He’s delusional because of the fever, right. Of course he is, he thought we were being invaded earlier. He didn’t know what he was doing.

“Hey, [Y/N], you go—”

You scream when Shachi places a hand on your shoulder and tries to ask what’s going on, making him scream too because you scared him just as badly as he scared you.

“What’d you scream for?!”

“You scared me!!”

“Well why were you so lost in your head?!”

“Because--!” You cut yourself off because you don’t really want to tell Shachi what happened, even when he gives you a concerned look before you start running towards your and Ikkaku’s room. “Nothing happened! I’m going to my room!!”

Shachi tries to stop you, but you’re gone too quickly. Now he’s starting to think you have a fever that’s making you crazy too, before he goes into the room Penguin’s been resting in and hears him mumbling something in his sleep about you. Most of the crew knows about Penguin’s crush on you, making Shachi wonder if his best friend’s fever induced state made him do something he shouldn’t have, or wasn’t really ready to.

“What the hell did you do, Pen?”

#one piece x reader #reader insert #penguin x reader #op penguin x reader #fem!reader

[yandereend]

Yandere Househusband

The wedding

P. 2/?

TW : normal yandere stuff, dubcon, reader is into it?, Tyler talks about children, both are like 18 or 19

Btw English is not my first language so please keep that in mind

🩵Also thanks to everyone who wrote nice comments under the first post🩵

You sometimes watched those trashy shows about the bridezillas who were obsessed with their weddings and made everyones live hell. Like many people you hopped to never be in a situation like this. But here you were sitting besides your fiancé while he discusses flower arrangements, acting like a giant brat.

Is it so hard to put together bouquets with ALL pink flowers?!

Sir we dont have enough pink lillies for all your decorations. You should reconsider some of your choices-

I‘m surrounded by idiots!! My spouse wanted pink lillies so i don’t care if you don’t have them stocked!! Just buy them!

That would be even more expen-

Just do it !!!

And with that Tyler took your hand and you both exited the flower shop. It was almost comical how such a small thing could affect a grown man so much, but hey it’s his day. Tyler had a big pout on his face so that called for your attention and pampering.

Tyler don’t be upset.

But its our day my darling, everything should be perfect! We spend so much time picking out your (suit/dress/whatever you want its your wedding) and my suit. The flowers have to match or everything was for nothing my dear!

Not everything has to be perfect.

Oh yes it does! Have you never been on pinterest ?

That was the whole wedding planning in a nutshell , just an avid pinterest user placing together the wedding of their dreams( yandere style). Sometimes it was cute seeing Tyler being so invested in the wedding, other times it was more than annoying to cater to his perfectionism.

You also often thought about how quickly things progressed. I mean you just graduated high school and are already engaged and working for your fiancés father. Tylers father, Eric, was a great boss, you often wondered why people were scared of him. It’s just your nice father in law! Always explaining everything to you and hyping you up as the next in line of the family business. I mean you’re almost a part of it.

And Tylers mother, Ramona, was the same, always acting like she’s your real mother and caring for you. Not to mention Tyler himself. You were not suprised when he didn’t went out to look for a job or university, he always promoted the idea of a traditional family with you as the breadwinner in the center. And hey, his parents gifted you a house as an engagement gift, so its safe to say that you wont suffer in the presence of those saints.

At least that’s what you thought of them, little did you know that they were the reason why most of your friends cut contact and your family hardly called after you moved out. But hey who needs them anyways.

So while all these thoughts ran through your mind here you were, walking down the aisle with your father and finally seeing the man of your dreams in his perfectly tailored suit and styled hair, with tears in his eyes witnessing your beauty.

Your wedding vow was rather short but still packed with the love you felt for your husband. And after he put himself together, because of his happy tears, he read the most beautiful wedding vow you ever heard touching your heart and everyone else’s in the chapel. So when you finally get to put the rings on each other’s fingers you both stand up there with tears in your eyes.

And when you both finally unite in a grand kiss your fate was finally sealed. Tyler had you finally completely in his grasp, even if you didn’t realize it. And he,as well as his family, will never let you go. So enjoy your wedding party with your family and friends, you won’t get to see them any longer my dear.

Till death do you apart.

🩵Thanks a lot I hope you enjoyed it, I am planning on making this a series so please comment ideas for your life with your new husband 🩵

#yandere fic #obsessive yandere #yandere community #yandere core #yandere x reader #yandere househusband #soft yandere #yandere fiction #yandere fanfiction #yandere male #yandere husband #yandere bf #yandere boy #sub yandere #yandere writing #yandere #yandere stories

[stellari-s]

Omfg ithaqua centric tumblrs exist/j

I don't know I'd your still doing requests but can I request ithaqua with a reader who's rlly sweet and nice and everything, but the manor did like a swap with the survivors and hunters so that the hunters are the ones that run from the survivors and when Reader is picked they go NUTS. Like everyone's out and injured in like 2 minutes. After the event reader goes back to normal but if people look closely, Reader's picked up a bit of a hunger for blood sometimes...

✨

haha, ikr, and gosh, i’m really slow, i hope you’ll forgive me! but i will try my best with your request! i don’t end up describing the details of the match much rather than implying what happened, so i hope that’s ok.

request; yes, by anon! requests are currently closed, but my commissions are open if you’re interested.

wc; 945.

tags; default! ithaqua, gn! survivor! reader (who becomes hunter), reader treats ithaqua’s injuries.

summary; miss nightingale had come with a sudden announcement — survivors and hunters were going to switch places! and so, you are put into a match with ithaqua as the last one standing…

this very day was like a fever dream — but would it be a dream if one could see a subtle, yet irreversible change?

“a switch?”

ithaqua stayed silent, but he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. though he said little, his feelings reflected that of everyone else’s in the room where miss nightingale had gathered all the hunters on a whim to make the very announcement of a role switch. he honestly harbored mixed feelings on the prospect of being the one chased, rather than the one doing the chasing, but more than that...

he thought back to a certain face among the survivors. a seemingly innocent face, whose kindness knew no bounds. would they be up for the task, he wondered?

robbie’s enthusiastic voice dragged ithaqua from his thoughts back into reality.

“oh oh, does this mean we get to play something like reverse tag?”

“seems like it,” ithaqua muttered in reply.

miss nightingale nodded once everyone had settled down (or, displayed some semblance of having settled down). “i’m glad we are on the same page. gather in lakeside in one hour if you are called upon, and take care not to be late.”

when miss nightingale left, murmurs immediately broke out among the hunters.

...there really is something off with her. i don’t like it.

nonetheless, ithaqua had no right to refuse; he could only sigh and wait for an hour to pass.

“survivors will become the hunters?”

this was news to you. what in the world could have brought on this change in the manor owner’s heart?

...not that you could really understand him. in fact, many things in the manor had been intriguing.

little things piqued your interest, and whispered rumors became a source of curiosity.

“i’m not sure i feel comfortable facing against hunters... as a hunter,” helena said, “wouldn’t you agree, (y/n)?”

“hm?” you looked at helena, who had a resigned smile on her lips.

i suppose it would be difficult for her, considering she can’t see. then again, she has a cane, so maybe she’s fine, and her personality is just too kind?

some survivors were fit to be a hunter, but helena was not one of them. it wasn’t a bad thing; it simply wasn’t her strength.

you flashed her a gentle smile of your own. “it is definitely a sudden development. i can understand the difficulty in processing it.”

you neither confirmed nor denied it.

—— 20 minutes later.

there was only one hunter left now: ithaqua.

you had noticed this in previous matches against him when he was hunter, but even with those stilts that looked so easy to trip in, ithaqua was very quick on his feet. there was clearly a lot of skill in maneuvering around with those.

you would spot him, and you would chase after him, only for him to slip between your fingers like locks of hair.

while his appearance resembled that of a supernatural creature to be feared, you found through spending time with him outside of matches that he was not a bad person. in fact, he was quite nice behind that colder facade.

if it were other survivors, they would probably be more cautious around ithaqua.

finally, you caught up to him in the small boat in lakeside village. “you’re the only one left standing, ithaqua,” you said, “yet you won’t surrender. do you think two hours will pass before i can catch you?”

ithaqua chuckled. “i’ll take your words as a compliment.”

“as they are meant to be. but i think two hours is quite a long time, so will you allow me to catch you before then?”

“if you’re going to catch me, do it with your own abilities.”

you shrugged, a resigned smile playing on your lips. “i suppose it can’t be helped then.”

it turned out you didn’t need him to “allow” you.

after the match, which had lasted around half an hour total, ithaqua hissed a little in pain as you wrapped the bandage around his arm, where he had cut himself.

“would it hurt to be a little more gentle treating my wound?”

“oh, don’t you know? it’s better to wrap the gauze more tightly. i do sincerely apologize for the... slightly rough handling toward the end of the match though. so please just think of this as repayment.”

ithaqua fell silent. this was one of the rare times he had his mask off, so you could see his eyes narrowed, his brows furrowed, and his lips pursed as he averted his pale blue eyes.

“what’s wrong?” you waved a hand in front of him.

“i don’t know. but is it just me or do you just look... a little different?”

“hm?”

he turned to look at you for a brief moment before retracting his arm. “it’s nothing. thanks for treating my arm.”

ithaqua stood up and tried to walk out of the room, but you called after him as his hand made contact with the knob.

“hey, ithaqua.”

he stood in frozen in place like a statue, as if contemplating whether or not he should turn out. in the end, he stayed still as he replied, “what?”

though he wouldn’t be able to see it, you flashed a smile his way.

“i look forward to the next match.”

you could have sworn you saw his shoulders twitch slightly upon hearing your words. he then turned around (to your surprise) and, with a sharp tone, shouted “well i don’t!” before shutting the door behind him.

you couldn’t help but let out a lighthearted laugh — he kind of reminded you of a cat.

a cat surely worth chasing, you reckoned.

#divider by cafekitsune #identity v #idv #id5 #第五人格 #idv ithaqua #identity v ithaqua #idv night watch #identity v night watch #id5 ithaqua #夜の番人 #idv x reader #identity v x reader #identity v fanfic #idv fanfic #idv fic #ithaqua x reader #idv hunter #gn reader

[lemony-snickers]

Hey Lem!! Would you pls do smth with kakashi 28. If you'd like and if you are not already tired

I love you, take care, bye-bye!!💜💜

28. old gods - emily scott robinson.

carry my prayers on the ocean, carry my prayers on the sea and if you are meant to be mine, love, one day you'll come home to me

Kakashi pulls his cloak tighter around his face, shielding the tender skin of his cheeks from the cold, lashing rain. The bewitched wind is greedy, though, it claws at his hood, tangles his hair into knots, cracks open his lips. He can feel the magic in it the edge of a knife.

But all magic wanes eventually, all he needs to do is wait it out.

He growls as icy pinpricks of rain stab at his eyes, the new scar over his left eyelid still tender and swollen from a recent skirmish. Thunder rumbles overhead, the sky splitting across with a blinding streak of lightning.

Thunder rolls like a laugh and Kakashi cannot help but feel like the punchline of a cruel joke. The weather laughs at him, at the fool's errand he has set himself on. Desperation remains a faint flicker in his chest, just enough to keep him warm. To keep him moving when all he wants to do is stop.

your blue eyes are there when i close mine, i see your sweet face when i dream my heart is all raged in pieces, bleeding at every seam

He's been on the road for so long, Kakashi barely remembers the feel of a soft mattress at his back, the warmth of a real blanket. More often, he finds himself curled at the base of a tree, resting his head against the trunk at an angle that leaves him sore the following day as well as the one after. Sometimes he manages to find a corner of rock so he is protected on at least two sides, but it's rare.

Tonight, Kakashi is lucky to find an outcropping of rock partially shielded by a broad-limbed oak. It's not enough to keep the rain away, not really - especially when the rain is so specifically set upon him - but it's better than nothing. He slinks down into the tight space, shrugging his weary body into the least uncomfortable position he can manage before he tugs the hood down low over his forehad and closes his eyes.

Sleep won't find him, but it creeps close enough he can almost feel it and that's enough. It has to be.

i'm down on my knees at a crossing, wondering which way to go but all roads are dark through the valley, and i'll learn to walk them alone

You appear to him as a dream - or near enough he can't tell the difference. You stand before him, the rain falling everywhere but on you, your hair and your face and your clothes are so dry it makes Kakashi jealous - you look warm and content while the rain lashes around you, just barely tugging at the ends of your hair.

Your name slips in a croak from his parched lips and you smile. He watches your mouth move, but he can't hear you over the terrible discordance of the storm. He stands, stumbles over his tingling legs, weak from lack of blood flow. Kakashi pitches forward, reaches his hands out toward you.

Lightning splits the sky again and then you're gone and Kakashi is still sitting in his uncomfortable sleeping spot - the sun puts forth a grand, if mostly futile, effort to peel away the clouds. The rain is nothing more than mist, now, but Kakashi's clothes are so drenched and heavy it hardly matters.

With the noise of the storm diminished, he can hear the whispers on the breeze, all that remains of the spell that tried to drown him. He smiles, though it takes an immense effort.

but are you a trick of the memory that the old gods are playing on me? carry my prayers on the ocean, carry my prayers on the sea

Kakashi has come so far but he hardly has the will to continue. The tantalizing vision he had of you the night before feels like it's sucked all the air from his lungs - each step takes mor effort than the last, the weight of his sodden cloak doing all it cane to hold him in place, to drag his feet to a halt.

He wonders if the lethargy is a lingering effect of the storm's magic, one more hurdle to overcome.

He closes his eyes, tries to remember how you looked in his vision, tries to recall the exact movement of your lips as if he could figure out what you were trying to say by reading his memory.

But he doesn't understand. Hasn't since you left, since he woke one morning to find your side of the mattress empty, his father's sword gone. He knows, deep in his heart, you are trying to help. But he also knows that revenge will not bring satisfaction, will not heal the wounds he carries deep in his heart anymore than it wil bring his father or his friends back from the dead.

He wishes he could call you back to him, tug the tether he can feel stretching from his heart to yours until you return to his side, until he can feel the warmth of your body in his hands again.

He worries you have spent as many cold and ruthless nights with your back pressed to a tree instead of his chest, shivering in a cloak drenched by a vengeful storm.

i'm down on my knees at a crossing, wondering which way to go but all roads are dark through the valley, and i'll learn to walk them alone

Kakashi has battled too long to give up, but his knees protest each step. HIs eye - or, where his eye used to be - throbs in time with his heart beating.

He comes to a crossroad and hesitates, his feet unsure of which way he should turn. A light breeze brushes past him, soft as a caress against his cheek; he thinks he almost hears your voice carried on the air current. The wind whips his clock toward the right and Kakashi turns down the path, more confident than he perhaps should be.

He holds your visage in his mind's eye, feels the tether between your hearts shorten with each labored step, every shuddering breath.

no wine and no song can soothe me, i'm pierced by the arrows of pain i'll lay on the grass by the mountin and summon the wind and the rain

One day, Kakashi knows, he will find you again. He will wrap you in his arms, press his mouth to yours. And the two of you will face whatever darkness that lies ahead together. He will take up his father's sword to protect you.

He will thank you for giving him the courage to undertake a journey he never thought he would be strong enough to endure.

For now, as the sun finally wins against the lingering clouds, Kakashi lies down in a field of sweet summer grass. He inhales slowly as he closes his eyes. Sleep finds him this time, and his dreams are filled with you.

#kakashi hatake #kakashi x you #kakashi x reader #fantasy au #(vaguely but it's there) #lemony scribbles #spotify wrapped fic-o-rama

[infjgemini]

My mind has been full of reddie lately and also oil pastels that I wanna get into, and I’ve been so focused on those two that last night I dreamed of Richie wanting to get into oil pastels as well and went to Eddie for help to teach him (Eddie was an artist in my dream), they sat opposite from each other and Eddie was trying to teach him while Richie had just eyes for him and couldn’t focus on anything else

#sometimes my dreams are a wonderful place #I feel I should write a fic about it #reddie #reddie fic #reddie fanfiction #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it movie #it chapter 2 #they are in love

[thormanick]

Me, going about my day: i really like alhaitham and kaveh and whatever is happening between them. precious boys need to keep them safe

Evil Thoughs tm popping up in my head once in a while: canonically, Kaveh wants to be remembered. Alhaitham is a Scribe, which implies that he's keeping records. Alhaitham is closest to Kaveh and knows him really well. Alhaitham will be the best at remembering Kaveh. Therefore it might be a possibility that Alhaitham will outlive Kaveh, and by much-

Me, suddenly distressed: shut up shut up shut up-

#ah yes don't you love it when your thoughts go and do. that #anyways wishing nothing but the best to the boys may their respective reruns happen soon #genshin impact #genshin impact thoughts #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact kaveh #genshin impact alhaitham #haikaveh #kavetham #alhaitham x kaveh #afinna explores teyvat #this was actually partially inspired by the idea that Vision holders give something up in order to receive a Vision #and if the Vision encompasses the most sincere wishes of the weilder #what will happen when the weilder achieves these dreams while still being alive #in my hc achieving the passion that Vision symbolizes like. annihilates you from existence on a certain level or smth idk #on this point. in-game we've seen people gain visions. get their visions taken away. and die while having a vision (kazuha's friend). #i wonder what will happen to a person when they achieve the goal that allowed them to get their vision in the first place #i think that would be interesting #also idk sometimes i look at kaveh and go 'ah yes you have the narrative potential of dying at some point of the story and I. Am. Worried.'

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

Some non negotiables in my life are good coffee, good bread, good cheese, and good chocolate. I will spend So Much money on those things. Everything else? I'll get at dollar tree or whatever but even when I'm flat broke those are the four things I refuse to compromise on.

#made myself a pact when i moved out the first time that I'd never stoop to buying wonder bread #and I've never broken it #its not always like... the artisanal crusty sourdough of my dreams #and sometimes it does come pre-sliced in a plastic bag but its not wonder bread #but yeah.. super dark chocolate super dark roast small batch coffee and super stinky cheese are my little joys in life #and i WILL always find a place in the budget for them because im a grown up dammit and i deserve my treats #my little glass of red wine and my little square of chocolate....beloveds

[j-e-f-3-0]

GUYS!!!

After such a long time without making a single post, please let me make a humble introduction to my new home.... before I bombard you with further images of my days in here

#it is for real #i still can't believe it #I ARRIVED TO LOS ANGELES #I'm so freaking excited about this place #everything is much different from my country #and even though there are some put offs like the homeless issue I am loving it #seriously I sometimes wonder if I am still in a weird dream from which I will wake up #and then I look at the window and feel that it's not. that this is my real life now #and I just can't #I cant believe it I made it this far #*happy tears* #i am so grateful for having been given this opportunity #and I am going to make everyone who trusted me see they made the right decision

[invisibleoctopus]

starting to think im a bard of void instead of being a knowledge class. i have the whole bardic crisis thing (oct 13 2013. sunday) the whole opposite aspect thing before that (Gifted Kid TM where part of my personality was bring smart. is very lightcore) and just how i seem to destroy everything i touch.

my aversion to lying and how terrible i am at it because its on a physical level in my body and i have to script it in advance (yes this is mostly autism) and not liking to keep secrets and being a blabbermouth. destroying void.

destroyed by void. getting FADED with weed. self isolation and most of my time being spent gaming or on the computer/phone. my awful terrible recurring dreams (dreams are void) that i have a fucking tag for. but the horrors have become almost mundane with how repetitive they are in my dreams and thats why i dont call them nightmares

#le p2iigh #the 'this classpect perfectly describes all my flaws' type of classpecter #no but my dreams are always like. im in school and i dont know why they wont let me drop out. #dont know if its college or What. but sometimes my former therapist is there. the one i had a crush on. #thats a thing i have with male mentor/teacher figures because of a Very Specifc Reason #other things that are always in my dreams. my dorm on the 3rd floor im always trying to figure out what clothes to wear whats clean #packing so i can go to the house that im living at that is specifically not home. wondering when i can go home to check on the cats #wondering why home looks so different its almost unrecognizable. my uncle is there. always. mom always has something Wrong with her #things being on fire near wherever im staying like next door across the street. most recently like the whole neighborhood. #not beating the doom player allegations with these descriptions. #heres more void coded things abt the dreams. being in/around bodies of water. theres one particular river i go to a lot its past some woods #the woods area separates the river and i walk upstream until i come across the widest part and the initial fork #theres always various Creatures in the water that im scared of. #this happens whenever im on the coast and in the ocean too. except sometimes theres stuff that wants to eat me #and thats not counting the kinnie dreams. either its ocean stuff that reminds me of being link. #or its like. i guess side order levels or something. and also more cursed than usual salmon run. on cursed stages. eels chasing me #(obvoiusly the agent 8 kinnie dreams) #my real life anxieties about the cat litter and taking a shower meaning i dream about having to do those things. #trying to find a place to lie down and sleep that feels comfortable for me but its impossible #thats. most of the recurring things in my dreams. my brain is tired and i interrupted myself doing Tasks for this. #i didnt expect to ramble about the recurring nature of all of these dream things. and obviously the tag is going here #adventures in losap #< the dream tag

[spoondrifts]

wish there was somewhere i could talk freely about my body image issues without feeling like a waste of space attention seeking lazy fuck

#lol!! #the way i've never voiced it out loud to anyone in my life before and every time i try to i freeze up and literally can't speak #it's bc there's no fun and casual way to say that i want to disappear & never be seen again every time i look at my stomach #whoopsie lol sometimes i wish i had the mental strength to starve myself but then i remember that eating disorders are bad and then hate #myself for that train of thought even occurring to me in the first place #got rly close to developing an ed over the summer and it felt good to indulge the obsessiveness i feel every day but don't act on #i'll preach body neutrality all day long & i believe it wholeheartedly for everyone who isn't me #LOL!!!!! #anyway dreading my next doctor's appt bc i'll have go get weighed and that might be my breaking poing actually #i haven't checked since i was fourteen because it made me spiral so badly #isn't that fun! isn't that cute! i'll literally never say this aloud to anyone in my life #when you undress in front of a mirror and the unspeakable self-loathing hits 🥴 #constantly feeling so physically repulsive that i can't believe anyone would ever be attracted to me despite rampant evidence otherwise #someone literally told me they had a sex dream about me and i'm like haha that's hilarious but be fucking for real #when i don't get physical affection one singular time i instantly wonder if it's because i'm so fat & ugly & monstrous that they can't #stand the thought of touching me #additionally hating myself for lacking the strength of will to exercise consistently on top of all that #can't build habits! what a fun adhd quirk that totally isn't destroying my life at all

[samuraisharkie]

girl help I’m experiencing that common yet elusive late night motivation to get my life together knowing it will fall apart in the morning </3 girl fucking help me

#I hate ittt #I’m always like ‘I’m gonna start doing this’ or ‘I’m gonna finally try and get myself in a place where I can maybe take college classes’ #and ‘I’m really gonna try and fix my sleep schedule and stop getting distracted instead of getting something accomplished’ #and then in the morning evil me is back and they hate me and everything else #and would sell the world to hell for five more minutes of sleep #and my executive dysfunction has its claws in me again #man it sucks being so behind. I don’t want to like complain and make it sound like I’m worthless bc I’m not but man it’s hard #it’s hard watching ppl younger than you achieve your dreams of learning and getting better and breaking through that mental fog #they’re not always much younger either just like. two years is enough to make me wonder what would have happened if I was there #I know it’s not all in my control why I’m here either— there’s a lot of factors at play #but one of them IS that growing up I couldn’t never beat that executive dysfunction plus mental fog and procrastination #and then I shot myself in the foot by saying I waited to long and shouldn’t even try #and now I’m realizing I could but the years I spent fighting with myself weigh me down now and then #I can’t let it get to me because if I let myself get weighed down by it all I pull others down with me #but sometimes it does make me sad. and frustrated. when I feel this motivation when im lying in bed tired at some ungodly hour #suddenly struck with wanting to change my life and not having the daylight nor the physical/mental ability to get it done right then #not to mention the privacy. if I chose to get up at the buttcheeks of midnight and morning I would be not only destroying my own schedule #but disturbing a bunch of others too #anyway this wasn’t supposed to turn into a rant sorry #I haven’t talked a lot lately so it’s all bubbling inside I guess

[eld0ts]

think about this every night to be honest. why did i put up with that as if anyone ever deserves to be told they “don’t understand” certain things or have their accent and language openly mocked by students and teachers just because they’re from like five miles away in the ‘wrong’ direction

#sometimes i look at my future hopes and dreams of journalism and of helping people and relaying important information #and i wonder if i can even DO that because of shit like this #as if having a stutter weren’t bad enough now i’m told im doubly stupid for… where i grew up?? #i’ve already changed so much and worked so hard to alleviate my speech disorder #now i have to change everything else about the way i talk just be taken seriously by other people??? what??? #hurts a lot hurts a lot #and really it shouldn’t have even mattered if i WAS literally THE top student #because NO ONE deserves to be looked down upon cos of their accent and where they’re from whether they happen to be good at school or not #fuck man i hated that place so much #and as much as i have concerns about the actual (thankfully free) course i’m on now #at least no one’s mocking me to my face anymore huh

[wavernot4love]

alright y'all lil (alright, maybe not so little) recap of the second show of AG's Boom Done tour last night 3.4 in Buffalo @ one of my favorite venues, Mohawk Place. because my brain commits absolutely everything to memory at shows & i like writing it all down before i forget

(for fun & plus maybe folks going to this tour want to know what's shakin, since i haven't seen much online yet):

(note there will be setlist spoilers)

- alright so first, a freakin HIGHLIGHT for me was, of course, GET OUT!!!

Anthony was just kinda messing around with his guitar & then teased it by being like "hmm... how should i play this..." and then went into that and the crowd reception was AWESOME, dude. whatever the opposite of masking is, that's what i was doing there. i definitely started physically jumping up & down once i realized what it was (typical wavernot4love @ the AG show behavior). aka evidently he knew your boy (who like i've mentioned on here, got into Circa last summer through a kind person at a Dunes show rec'ing me Get Out & then BSN. Get Out was straight up my introduction 2 Circa) was in the building (/Ih).

also, i had to shorten my clip to post because in the rest i must've had my phone right next to my mouth,,, which made for some horrifying tone deaf live vox from wavernot4love. be glad i spared y'all from that one.

(i'm gonna put one of those keep reading thingies here, click it 2 see the rest)

- he also played Dyed In The Wool & Frozen Creek, continuing that theme (though I expected these more since he's played em recently). Dyed In The Wool with everyone singing along during the chorus was probably my top moment, and one that's gonna stick with me forever, honestly. i remember thinking it straight up felt like, a churchlike (but positive) experience or something during the songs everyone did that for (remember, it's just anthony this tour no backing band, so it was somewhat quiet in there). more on that later, but AG kept pointing out how nice the singing along was & how fun/awesome this all was, and man, that it was.

- he mentioned valuing spontaneity over a planned setlist every night and basically implied he was just goin for whatever felt right at the time. so just consider the songs i mention here as a basic guideline, he could very well switch stuff up every night. i love that he's like this when it comes to shows - idk dude, like, at one point he even asked folks what time it was, laughing when they told him, jokingly accusing them of being untrustworthy & then going right back into the tunes. dude was just here to play, for as long as he could.

- kinda tied to that, there was a running gag of the set being "inconsistent" (his word). he'd bring up jokingly that there'd be moments where everyone could be singing along, and then songs that nobody knows (and he'd jokingly "apologize" for that), and he'd even (lightheartedly) call specific people out and be like (to laughs) "look at this person, they have no *idea* what i'm gonna play next!" actually i think he said that before Get Out. at one point he was (paraphrased slightly) like, "so if i start playing 12 Circa songs in a row, let me know." i love how he just does whatever the hell feels right in the moment.

- also a couple times he messed up while starting a song (i think due to laughing) and bro would call out folks laughing at him for it (lightheartedly) and be like "this is all performance. vou don't know what goes into this!" (this was not at all serious and said through laughter. straight up half the show was all of us in that room just cracking up together)

- he introduced his Title Fight cover (Numb, But I Still Feel It) by calling TF one of his favorite bands & joking that they're gonna hear this & think it's time to get back together so... if you hear that Title Fight reunited, you know why, which, well, if you know that side of the scene, you know what's up. real shits and giggles moment, if i do say so myself.

- at one point (only bad thing) someone at the front was being objectively Weird in the way people (unfortunately) do to try to get an artist's attention (let's just say it involved throwing money (????? literally what) while yelling stuff about understanding because they're in the industry (??)) and he honestly handled it with so much grace. he pretty much said that made him uncomfortable etc and he would Not be taking more of their money please, he already did that, and that led to him ranting for a second i think mostly to himself in a thinking out loud/under his breath kinda way about *hating* having to sell stuff in the first place in order to do this and like,,, i go into this a bit in the tags but it genuinely reminded me of how i get when i'm passionate about something. what i'm trying to say, is dude clearly was heated & meant it. fully. just felt relevant to include

- then he ranted about something related to the moneythrowing, drunk (question mark) weirdo (long story, but it ended in him telling them to tip bartenders with their money instead of weird things), then used that to go on a tangent about how we should always tip people working in service in general and respect/be kind to them even if they seem rude or whatever because doing that shit is hard & sucks and maybe your kindess will be the wakeup call that causes them to one day have a moment where they're like, man, i was a dick back then for no reason. (i feel like i am nearly direct quoting him here)

- then after a song he joked about the incident saving we were probably just all watching like 🧍‍♂️ and it was like watching dad yell at mom at the dinner table while you just sit there staring at the ground and safe to say the mood was fully lightened after that moment of self awareness fhfhfh

- then a few songs later i guess the person that was being weird had left so he was like, (at this point there were no weird vibes whatsoever, like we were all just scoffing/laughing at the situation and cheering him on) "oh that person who hates me left. did they give the bartender that money?" (someone implied they thought so) and he was like "good." and that was the end with that weirdo situation lol. i have absolutely no idea why that person, drunk or not, thought that was a normal cool thing to do. as always, please don't be weird 2 musicians they are in every sense just Some Guys (gender neutral), treat them like anyone else.

- back 2 totally unserious things, during... uh don't mind me, like i've said in my previous posts i'm still getting 2 know Boom Done, so whatever song has like, the horns kinda near the end? he just started making freakin. horn noises since since there were, in fact, no horns in the building and made us all do them too and everyone was just straight up cackling because it was so stupid (/pos).

- idk one thing that stood out to me was one person belting along at the end of... i can't remember what song it was actually, i think one of his older tunes, but you could tell he heard & a song later complimented it & said it was beautiful. i'm telling ya, he kept going on about how nice folks singing along sounded and encouraging that, which was awesome because i wasn't sure what the vibe was gonna be there since it was just him playing.

- don't want to go into detail since it feels like something between Anthony & whoever he decides to tell it to in real time, ya know, but he did tell a pretty extensive story leading up to Miracle Sun. in terms of themes, it was in regards to (with plenty of laughs mixed into the serious bits, of course) letting folks that matter to him down + falling into a cycle of engaging in stuff that temporarily made him feel better but was moreso just self destructive, in the past. just interesting stuff to hear in connection to a song.

- at the end, before Dear Child, he just talked in the most honest manner about knowing he's let people down, cancelled shows (there were laughs mixed in here too), just not been the best version of himself over the years etc, but appreciating how long everyone has stuck around, and how we keep coming back, & jow much it means whenever we tell someone go check out a song or anything like that, & helping him continue to do this and also support his family and whatnot and man it just. embodied everything i love about AG solo sets i guess. i just admire how open a book &p vulnerable dude is. while i love his more theatric frontman persona of course as it's fun as hell, it's so nice at solo shows like this to hear more from him, in seriousness and otherwise. also dude was posting about how fun it was on instagram later so i'm just glad we all had a great time.

- also at one point before a new tune he was talking about these cds he had that have that on it + some rerecordings, Frozen Creek (feat. Keith of GOW), etc. i love cds so i ran to snag one later of course (they're $12)

- as for other merch he had a few shirts (like that cute one i keep seeing around, with him & the puppy), some art prints, & the Boom Done book thingy (i really wanted it but couldn't swing the $25 right now sadly)

anyways,, i posted on Setlist FM for the first time, here are all the songs i remember for sure (there were definitely at least 4/5 others i am not thinking of, i'd say he did 17ish songs, he played for close to an hour and a half. keep in mind he talked a LOT with us which was awesome)

edit: someone added a few more!!!

anyways, that's the show!!! 1. i may or may not be trying 2 figure out how to pull off one of the other northeast dates (looking @ Cleveland, which is closer but i'd have to drive to, or New York, which is further (+ yknow.. dealing w getting around in NY) but i could take a bus to, this weekend/next week as we speak,,,, that's how freakin good and homey (more on that in the tags aka uhh literal diary section of this post) and impactful this show was.

and 2. if any of this (especially said tags) sounds loopy it sure is because i wrote most of this at roughly four am last night post show, when i was even moreso still back *at* the show in my head. i still stand by all of it though of course, i just know it might not be the most coherent.

this tour rocks. AG's tunes mean so much to me. get out 2 a show!!! tell me about your experiences if ya do/did!!!! yay!!!!

#it is safe to say i have genuinely endless respect & admiration for this person who happens to be my favorite artist in the world #i could not be happier or moreso in my neutral state of how i feel like things should be than i am at the ag show #also the more i hear him talk the more i realize homie reminds me of... me. #not in a “me modeling my behaviors after him because i look up to him” kinda way #though i certainly have picked up on small things there like i tend to with folks #like phrases and the like #but no #moreso just in a “the two of us happen to share some innate similarities in regards to a buncha stuff” kinda way #just an observation. in hindsight i wonder if i subconsciously picked up on this back when i was first getting into his music #n that contributed to it resonating with me so much #i don't know man i just know i'm glad 2 have this dude's music in my life and to see homie thriving #truly hope we can meet @ a show sometime soon so i can dive into how much of a positive impact he's had on my life. i have so much to say!! #i tried to make that happen at this show i really did #i just guess it wasn't meant 2 happen then. and that is okay!! i know it will whenever it's meant to. #going back to what i said about everything just feeling.... right at the show i keep thinking about how while i miss that already #and am kinda having a crisis where in my head i feel like i'm still there (or should be) as opposed 2 here back in regular just. life #i'm just glad and lucky moments like this show are a real thing that can be my life at all. #basically i just mean the vibe of ag shows feels like everything i define my life by really #realized as something/place i can actually physically experience. #shows r my safe space that embody everything i dream about when i'm just going about day to day life #live music is everything 2 me & that's only amplified exponentially by folks like anthony that get it & turn shows even moreso into a home #thanks for reading if you have #i'm truly glad to have this space where i feel like i can talk about Everything #i love that on here the “oversharing” thing is just a thing everyone does #actually that ties back to what i brought up about anthony #i respect how unapologetically open that dude is in ways that might be “too much” for some people & really connect 2 that #point is i am so grateful for days like this and music like this and people like this #anthony green #circa survive #wavernot4love talks ag tunes

[youreanidiom]

I’ve been away for a bit. Recovering from an injury, went on vacation, hyperfixating hard on something else, etc. And then I poke my head back in to this side of Tumblr and immediately take 1000 points of psychic damage from one Sam Awesamdude. Honestly, why am I surprised.

#Pandora’s Vault will forever hold a special place in my heart #but I really did not realize the extent that it affected the ccs themselves godsdamn #that caught me so off guard I was just wondering what the ‘crafters are up to these days and then BAM #Sam and Dream did a little private prison roleplay just for them #HUH #I have thoughts sometimes