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#someone needs to learn to fucking read
lunaryuwu · 1 month
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The rage is returning
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sparklecryptid · 5 months
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I had no patience for people policing other peoples ships before i went to library tech school and library tech school has make me a little bit pissy about the entire thing actually.
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brookheimer · 1 year
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roman roy + “waste sonata” by sharon olds
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I think my least favorite thing on the internet is how quick people are to call characters toxic just because they don't like them.
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penwrythe · 6 months
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Learning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable is important. I'm genuinely not okay when I hear, see, and research more about the genocide happening in Gaza, the history of Israel's founding, and its terroristic actions. It is important for me to know.
Taking short breaks (usually a couple of hours or so) does help when things get too much. Then, I return and continue engaging with reblogs on Palestine.
I really don't know what else to say, but this genocide must end. All genocides must end and must never happen again. Keep talking about Palestine, Armenia, Congo, and Sudan! Keep protesting! Keep fighting!
What is important now is to be as loud as you can be! Raise ruckus! Make your voice unavoidable! Be as annoying as possible! Do not let your representatives ignore this!
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soldier-poet-king · 10 months
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I need to learn to meditate
I have to stop being externally dependent on moods and events for peace. I need to learn to quiet my thoughts without external aids. I need to be able to calm myself. I want desperately to be able to just sit and do that. It would be good for me in so many ways
Everything is getting worse and traditional prayer is hard and mostly sends me spiralling into panic attacks or trauma induced nausea
Send me your fave books/lectures/resources/etc on meditation. Esp for big dumb idiots who don't know how to do anything.
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fembutchboygirl · 2 months
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I just learned something so incredibly fucked up
#i am trembling#i cannot let this enable my issues with paranoia further! haha! oh my fucking god#im not joking btw im literally physically trembling. how did this happen oh god oh GOD nononono dont let it get to you#i just need to know. was someone like. double dealing? was someone telling him about it#i wouldnt give a shit if they were stalking me online occasionally (well id care a little bit but honestly itd just be kinda fucked)#but if someone was telling him about me and my personal stuff?#stop. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to think it happened. i have to get this out of my head#but still. absolutely fucking deranged.#ESPECIALLY bc apparently he's been saying i “made him think he was abusive'' and that doing that was shitty of me bc he actually#just has bpd??????#sol if you're reading this listen closely: one of my best friends has bpd. diagnosed and everything. so shut the fuck up#much like you've been saying i blamed my adhd for being neglectful (read: not meeting your sky-high standards for Truly Loving You 24/7)#you cannot blame your bpd for what a shit person you've been#repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick#get a life‚ learn to care about other people away from what they can do for YOU‚#and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.#p.s. imagine being mad that people who were friends with both you and your partner didnt suddenly cut the other one off after you broke up#like actually angry at these people. what the actual fuck. you're like a divorced parent upset that their child still talks to their ex-wife#my posts
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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months
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I will read the most inane and useless stuff for hours just for my own interest/enjoyment, but reading academic papers is like pulling a tooth 😭😭 like I genuinely think I'd find the info interesting but the fact that ik it's in pursuit of doing an assignment somehow manages to kills my motivation 100%
#step 1. you pick a research topic you find genuinely interesting#step 2. you have to research and read papers abour this topic. hey dont you remember you find this interesting??#i just remember going on deep dives learning about random historical figures#but absolutely god forbid i read anything in the pursuit of actual schoolwork#i think its mostly that i feel constantly under duresss when im reading it yknow?#all i can think is: im going to have to write something about this#lol just need someone i can blab to about politics and maybe it would actually work out for me#but ugh yeah theres just such a palpable difference btwn reading smth for enjoyment and reading something 'for work'#here is an example!#in my one class i think my prof put The Prince as a reading#i didnt even look cause im liek yeah i aint reading all of that#fast forward a year later: oh my god! i wanna read machiavelli so bad! i wanna feel intellectual 🥰🥰#literally bought myself a copy of it .....#i think im too self aware. id like to remove all sense of context from my brain#literally spent hours today watching documentaries that are actually pretty relevant to my one course#<- but note. they werent FOR my course. i was just doing ir for fun! i wanted to learn!!#but if i got assigned a hour and a half docu for class....that shit would not be getting done#ugh yeah anyways i have two research papers this sem#and its so fucking annoying bcs its so open to my choices. like here. you can pick smth you find genuinely interesting#and you guys literally witness me constantly learn info and want to apply it#but the thought of having to write a paper for school(god forbid) literally keeps me awake at night#its just yeah. wish i could remove that particular barrier from my brain#bcs some of the things i do for fandom are literally borderline research papers#like. read and research a bunch. write about it to other people. apply the info(in fic/drawing/meta)#and really the topics are not so different from my actual coursework#but when i contemplate having to research and write for school it just flatlines my brain#need to start forcing people to watch me borderline seminar so that it feels more fun and in-line w what i do on here#the fernando card post???? practically a research paper. god. my brain is so bad#catie.rambling.txt
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recitedemise · 4 months
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𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗲𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱. This, beyond being a testament to his softer heart, his rather sizable well of care, is a consequence of his time shared with Mystra. Being a worshipper, a follower and lover both to the mother of magic, Gale is far more familiar with giving than receiving. A tremendous deal more. Beyond those illusions of love, Mystra granted him nothing, and whenever she was troubled, even sour or short, it was Gale, doting Gale, who would smooth it out. In truth, short of the stars, he had offered her everything. His whole life to boot. Still, living for some years prioritizing Mystra, Gale's grown notably reluctant to ask for help. It's why, when strapped with the netherese orb, newly blighted and rotting to death, he'd sooner clamored in his tower than look to friends. He's loathed to show his folly, of course, and is far from a fan of stirring worry, but with Mystra, any ask he'd made was resolutely shunned, and from his lover, his deity, that left its mark. Gale--a giver, a man that wants to hope but doesn't dare to--is not a man to ask for anything. If ever he does, the ask is comically small, and even then, he expects to be denied almost immediately. Consequently, an eager kindness leaves him floored. Gale can read displeasure. (See: Mystra.) Gale's trained to soothe it, too. Yet, when confronted with the novelty of that same generosity, your resident Gale of Waterdeep is like a fish out of water.
#HEADCANON.#This hit home because I know too intimately what Gale went through.#God. It sucks. Gale is so attuned to Mystra and her periods of distance and#her cold demeanor.#He just learned to go right into tell me what I can do to make it better mode.#I think Gale isn't really the best at reading or catching social cues#but he's very aware when someone is upset.#He had to learn because god forbid he failed to recognize something and receive less warmth from Mystra#(she isn't exactly warm to begin with.)#she was just largely neglectful of Gale and Gale was convinced it was love#he showed so much of it and so much warmth and...kinda felt being chosen by her#was enough of an expression of love on Mystra's part (it isn't!).#Gale also only asking for help from YOU because he knows you deserve to know#because hiding it would be a danger to others around him.#Like Gale truly asked for no ones hand before the nautiloid incident. he had to be quite literally#torn from his life and freefall into another disaster before even asking for help#a small ask too. This man is like hey can I have your UTTERLY useless necklace so I don't die? i'm so sorry i'm such an inconvenience#fuck. Gale. Gale...baby....#Literally you go 'children shouldn't die' (arabella) and he's all you're such a decent person...i trust you#???? honestly. need i say more.#anyway idk if ill write much today beyond this. im DROWNING in work and i have to prep for an event tomorrow#so you can just frown with me about gale#Me writing about Mystra: wow theyre a lot like my abuser. 🥲🥲🥲🥲hauew..a..
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natsmagi · 4 months
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user natsmagi have u ever tried getting into d4dj...... ? plesae. i got this random thought in the shower a few days ago and im DYING the d4dj fandom needs more artists THEY HAVE CANON LESBIANS PLEASE
OHHHHH I HAVE ACTUALLY PLAYED D4DJ!!! ive never looked into any of the characters though and i dont know anything about the story...!! iirc doesnt the cast feature college aged characters?? bc i feel that demographic doesnt get tackled very often so thatd be very interesting to see!
TBH ive been thinking of occasionally just drawing one big collage of various characters i enjoy outside of enstars (but im lazy and the brainrot is like SO severe) BUT WHO KNOWS!! IF I DO DECIDE TO DO IT MAYBE ILL PICK A D4DJ GIRL I THINK IS CUTE!!! OR MAYBE THE LESBIANS BC GOD KNOWS THEY DESERVE TO BE SEEN!!!
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cumbunnywitch · 7 months
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This really fucking do be the reading comprehension website half of y'all deserve each other. The other half is fine though.
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crossbackpoke-check · 6 months
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18 + swaymark!!
oooo thank you!!
#18 - pleaser, wallows + swaymark
okay i know they are canonically obsessed with each other but. the song is in some ways about feeling like you’re failing in your relationship and being not quite as obsessed with them as they maybe are with you, and in this video of them talking about being a tandem, there is the slightest pause before swayman answers “do you miss him?” that makes me want to probe a wound. we’re not talking irl reasons of how that’s an absurd question (how do you miss him. you’re coworkers you’re seeing each other all the time) we’re talking that maybe this whole goalies-in-love thing got blown out of proportion and now swayman’s having to buy into the bit too hard. linus loves it & everyone’s asking about their bromance & how they love each other so much and the thing is—linus is safe. he’s got a wife and plausible deniability and jeremy? jeremy is gay. sure, he can crack jokes and people-please but the more people ask the more they're going to find out until maybe they find out something jeremy doesn't want them to know. and the longer this goes on, the more jeremy has to sit at linus' dinner table with linus and his beautiful wife and pretend like he isn't a little bit in love with him. and you know what? the longer it goes on and linus doesn't dial it down jeremy does stop being in love with him, because it just feels cruel, until he finally is done enough that he stops biting his tongue and ruins the moment.
#…this so is not a five sentence summary but ALSO this manages to perfectly align with something i was obsessed with (that media video)#like yeah is that pause reasonably a buffering time to a weird question? yes!!! do i want to read into it & make swayman a bit uncomfortabl#also yes!!! sorry i decided to give them tragique but they were assigned by spotify. the other option for this song was an ED fix-it fic#about healthy sex and learning that it can be a part of a normal relationship!! sex is weird and fucked up!! but like. that’s just because#i have always interpreted this song as a) unrequited best friend love & you’re worried you’re gonna fuck it up b) virgin who doesn’t know#what sex is and is scared to tell anyone and then option c) people pleaser keeps going along with it but can’t anymore#also OBVIOUSLY they end up fine. whether that ends up being jeremy finally telling linus (oblivious) i don’t want to do this with you#i need to get over you & them creating a platonic space & sway ends up with someone else OR linus has the oh. true. i simply never#considered that i could be gay for you option OR the one i have just invented but is now my favorite because i love a good polycule is that#linus & his wife simply add jeremy to their relationship. and then this song becomes jeremy scared to have sex with linus’ wife at first lo#liv in the replies#the interviews in that video doing the lord’s work fr but also that ‘do you not miss him’ feels SO uncomfortable. say no! but then he leans#in with the dirty jokes comment & i know i’ve made like eight variations already (sorry. that’s how my brain works) but it is soooo fun#to me personally if they are broken up but now have to act nice & keep doing all these rituals & sell us on the narrative & they’re just#trying to see who’s going to crack first. needle each other into laughing or getting irritated enough it shows through & the other one wins#do even more aggressive hug rituals!! get a medical warning from the athletic training staff!!!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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...
#im just gonna complain abt it here bc i just have to accept that i can't irl bc no one else gets it#its hard to b a dyslexic grad student. u have to read so much. and its good. lots of reading is good. u just have to contend with a soul#crushing amout of discouragement at the fact u just kinda cant read while ur peers r like sure i can read this in class and have things to#say abt it. if u make me read in my head in class i literally cannot fucking tell u what i just read. not a god damn thing and if i try to#let my computer read to me i cant fucking pay attention for long enough so i just have to accept that from here on out ill have to#physically read papers aloud which i hate so much. its the only way i can fucking understand things and it still makes me feel dumb bc ill#somehow still space out while reading and have to reread like 4 times before i understand wtf is being said. it takes forever and it takes#energy and i dont like talking very much and it also restricts me to only being able to read at home which is frustrating#and im like i need to stop my brain from distracting myself with things that dont matter and my counselor is like: ur ocd is trying to make#work ur whole life and im like yeah thats how i got it. its the only way i can keep swimming with the non dyslexics#so its like wtf do i do? i kinda have to take the hit and make work my whole life rn. morn the loss of other things for a while#i dunno im still a bummer rn. like im probably coming off as more an asocial freak than normal bc its hard to talk ans maintain conversation#rn. but whatever. sometimes things just suck and theres nothing u can do abt it but accept it and move on. ill learn lots of things with all#the reading i have to do and that's never a bad thing ...no matter how much i dont give a fuck abt animals#like jesus. i could not even begin to give a fuck about like 95% of mammals. fish r cool tho. plants too#but microbes is where its at. i dont understand y ppl dont understand how cool they r. oh well ill just have to tell them#if i can find my fucking enthusiasm. ugh i have to make one of my classes read a paper and i have to work with someone abt find it. she#works with like rabbits. i refuse to assign a mammal paper. i fucking refuse. we will do plants or microbes or fucking paleontology#i will fight her on this. ugh. light filtering or orchid speciation would b perfect. annoying#at least i get to work with some culturs this week#unrelated
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raelyn-dreams · 1 month
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Some characters get so much more interesting when you look outside the fandom view and get to know them on their own terms.
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arolesbianism · 2 months
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Hello oni lore fans, I have been fighting for my life to solve a lil mystery and I decided to finally clean up one of the logs I copy and pasted from the code so I can hopefully find someone else who's seen it in game before. It's called "a seed is planted" and I'm pretty sure it was in the research notes section, but in the code it's placed alongside the story trait logs so I'm not 100% confident where it's supposed to be found. I first saw it in a save that I was using sandbox mode to hunt for lore with, and it stuck around for a lil while before disappearing, and then it randomly came back for a lil bit before all my lore logs got wiped with the recent update. I have no idea how I got it in the first place nor what made it disappear and come back, so I'm basically just wondering if anyone else has had this issue with this particular log (or any logs for that matter)
I have copy and pasted the log under the cut, although the formatting might be a bit off as this was cleaned up from a copy paste directly from the code itself
"A Seed is Planted"
[Voice Recognition Initialized]
[Subject Identified: B040]
[LOG BEGINS]
Three days ago, we completed our first non-fatal Duplicant trial of Nikola's comprehensive synapse microanalysis and mirroring process. Five hours from now, Subject #901 will make history as our first human test subject.
Even at the Vertex Institute, which is twice Gravitas's size, I could've spent half my career waiting for approval to advance to human trials for such an invasive process! But Director Stern is too invested in this work to let it stagnate.
My darling Bruce always said that when you're on the right path, the universe conspires to help you. He'd be so proud of the work we do here.
[LOG ENDS]
[LOG BEGINS]
My bio-printed multi-cerebral storage chambers (or "mega minds" as I've been calling them) are working! Just in time to save my job.
The Director's been getting increasingly impatient about our struggle to maintain the integrity of our growing datasets during extraction and processing. The other day, she held my report over a Bunsen burner until the flames reached her fingertips.
I can only imagine how much stress she's under.
The whole world is counting on us.
[LOG ENDS]
[LOG BEGINS]
On a hunch, I added dream content analysis to the data and...wow. Oneirology may be scientifically "fluffy", but integrating subconscious narratives has produced a new type of brainmap - one with more latent potential for complex processing.
If these results are replicable, we might be on the verge of unlocking the secret to creating synthetic life forms with the capacity to evolve beyond blindly following commands.
Nikola says that's irrelevant for our purposes. Surely Director Stern would disagree.
[LOG ENDS]
[LOG BEGINS]
Nikola gave me a dataset to plug into the mega minds. He wouldn't say where it came from, but even if he had...nothing could have prepared me for what it contained.
When he saw my face, he muttered something about how people should call me "Tremors," not "Nails" and sent me on my lunch break.
All I could think about was those poor souls.
Did they have souls?
...do we?
[LOG ENDS]
[LOG BEGINS]
It's done. My adjustments to the memory transfer protocol are hardcoded into the machine.
I finished just as Nikola stormed in.
I may be too much of a coward to stand up for those unfortunate creatures, but with these new parameters in place...someday, they might be able to stand up for themselves.
[LOG ENDS]
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conniewoof · 9 months
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Woah what’s this?!
Who leaked live footage of me watermarking my art?!
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