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pezilla · 2 years

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Cherry bomb, Twizzlers, and other disasters

Hallowe'en eve 1986, Hawkins.

“You have a gay best friend and you don’t know what a bisexual is?” God this man had a lot to learn and Eddie really wanted to be the one to teach him. It was almost cute how his face twisted up like that whenever he got new information and tried to decipher it. “And I never will if everybody does the Steve is an idiot face every time I ask a question.” ---------- Between working, running around after the kids and trying his hardest to get back to normality, Steve somehow ended up with Eddie permanently stuck to his side, he doesn't hate it. Between working (he's still not sure how that happened but he will take it!) finding his feet as an average law-abiding citizen, with a fancy new government-funded house, Eddie somehow ended up with a best friend in Steve Harrington. A friend, that was all he was... only they seemed to be together all the time, and now they're hosting a Hallowe'en party for the survivors of the end of the world. Together. like everything else, they do these days. Together.

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Neon lights made no one look good, but as Steve lent against the counter at the back of the Palace arcade, he had to admit there was a certain charm to the way the dazzling pink was bouncing off Eddie’s face. His eyes darted left and right as they chased the hapless knight across the screen, egged on by Dustin, attempting to finally knock Max off the top spot.

If a few years ago you had told Steve he would spend a Friday night with a bunch of self-proclaimed nerds, and that he would actually be invested in Dragon’s Layer of all things, he wouldn’t have believed you.

But here he was, one Slurppe deep and not any alcohol in sight.

There was a lot to be said for life-shattering near-death experiences, mostly that they made you evaluate what was important.

And right now it was-

“Fuck, you did it… eat it, Max!”

-it was watching his strange and unusual brother by proxy punching the air and flipping off Max and Lucas who looked both amused and resentful at the same time. Max returned the gesture, shuffling into Lucas’s side, Steve had little doubt that by the time it got round to Monday Mad Max would have her title back.

Max had been sitting on the high score since long before the mind flayer, something that Eddie had been taking personal offence to, for quite some time. Especially if the long stretches Steve had been spending waiting around in the arcade for him was anything to go by.

Eddie was here most of the time now, picking up some of the slower day shifts and helping Vickie if the weekends got too busy. Not that anywhere got that busy these days, Hawkins was a dying town, but at least there weren’t monsters on every corner now, just assholes. And Steve could deal with both without even batting an eyelid these days.

His time now split between ferrying the rugrats about, perched behind the counter at the video store or in the arcade.

And he spent a lot of that time with Eddie freaking Munson of all people.

Rarely a day went by that Steve and Eddie didn’t see the other. It was strange to have male friends his own age again, not that he didn’t love Robin, he did, it was just… as much as he hated Tommy in the end; it had been nice to have someone to shoot the shit with that could appreciate the grosser things in life.

Nancy and Robin couldn’t appreciate the comedy gold of the likes of Weird science and night of the living dead like another man could (Robin could appreciate the boobies, but she still got strange about it sometimes) and getting stoned while watching the Evil dead was a bonding experience and a half. (Steve did not hide behind Eddie’s arm, whoever told you that is a liar!)

Hawkins had settled back into as close a normality as a town that had been almost pulled through a hell mouth ever could.

Eddie was a free man so that only meant the minimum number of death threats a week, and a lot more interest in his band from people who wanted to see the escaped cult member, gnarly scars and all. Eddie didn’t seem to mind, not if he could cut back on having to rely on the content of his lunchbox to make sure he had money these days. Steve was not so secretly relieved that he had given up his side hustle, the idea of seeing Eddie back in a hospital bed didn’t exactly fill him with joy.

The regular clientele of Palace arcade was not the type to listen to gossip, and Hopper was quick to turn on anyone who went after Eddie these days, as were any of the parents who still had their kid's lives thanks to the man. So Eddie worked in the Arcade and played gigs on the side. It wasn’t significant money, but it was honest work, and if most of the top scores now belonged to E666Y that was just a perk of the job.

Another perk was the fact that Family Video shared a parking lot with the arcade, and if Steve sat at a particular spot on the counter at work, he could often see Eddie in his mirrored place behind the counter of the arcade. It definitely made the slow days go faster as the two of them did some sort of complicated mime across the asphalt.

So yeah, Steve spent a lot of time in the presence of one Eddie Munson, and he didn’t hate it. In fact, it scared him how much he liked it.

“It’s almost eleven shouldn’t Nancy be here to gather the troops?” Vickie said somewhere close to his ear barely audible over the noise of the machines and the metal blasting through the speakers. Begrudgingly Steve tore his eyes away from the battle of life and death on the pixelated screen to check his watch. The arcade was empty, they should have really closed half an hour ago, but the video store didn’t close until eleven and since the end of things they had all sworn never to leave a man behind. Tonight that meant Steve and Vickie hanging about until Eddie and Robin got off shift. Or in Vickie’s case actually do the close while Eddie held court over his party.

Thankfully, it wasn’t busy, nobody in the arcade but them.

“Jonathan is probably so stoned he can’t see straight. And to think, people thought I was a bad influence on her!” Vickie just laughed, walking past him to flick the overhead lights on. Steve mourned the mood lighting, but at least in the harsh yellow glow of the overheads he could see the determined look of concentration on Eddie’s face, bottom lip sucked in and eyes scrunched up as he smashed buttons like his life depended on it.

Eddie was cute when he looked so focused, yet another thing that Steve added to the list of things he really shouldn’t be thinking about. It was right up there with the soft look Eddie got sometimes when he was talking to Will, or the way he would rough house with Dustin to stop him over thinking things with Suzie. Steve needed to stop making lists, especially about Eddie, they only led to more staring.

The front door slammed open wide as the kids' lift arrived. And with it the telltale sound of instant death came from the only unit still flashing with life.

games

“I know I didn’t just die because Calamity Jane just waltzed in.” Eddie swung round, eyes settling on Nancy where she stood framed in the door, she didn’t look even remotely apologetic.

“Oh, I’m sorry Eddie the Brave, there was me thinking you were supposed to be working…” The gentle rivalry between Eddie and Nancy had come from nowhere, but ever since they dragged Eddie’s almost dead body out of the upside-down, the two of them had been trying discreetly to one-up the other, by any way necessary. Robin had to confiscate hungry, hungry hippos when Nancy had threatened to shove a marble up the man’s nose. competitive board games were now banned at hangouts if both of them were about at the same time.

“I am working… I’m working hard to show these little rugrats how the professionals do this.” The smirk was clear in his voice even if Steve wasn’t looking at him, too busy making sure the kids had all their things.

“He finally knocked Max off the top spot,” Mike said, rushing towards the door, Will trailing behind him.

“He still hasn’t beat the game,” El said sagely as she linked arms with Max, ducking under her older brother's arm and heading towards the family car Jonathan grinned after her.

" I don't think you can beat Dragon's lair can you?" Jonathan asked as he leaned over the side of the cabinet to look at Eddie typing in his name next to the new high score.

"Not with that attitude you can't Byers, but a warrior never gives up." E666Y flashed on the screen for a few moments before disappearing in an electric buzz, Vickie's face appearing from behind the end of the gaming units with a wicked grin. Steve noticed she had waited until the game had saved his score though, she was nowhere as evil as Robin would have been in the same circumstances.

"Well, I've finished your shift for you devil dingus, your welcome."

" I was working!" Eddie protested again, pushing himself off the cabinet, pulling the garbage bag from Vickie’s hand and making to grab the Slurpee cup with the other. "Give up the syrup pretty boy, apparently I have to clean the second level of Hell."

"Take my cherry Slurpee and you will walk home." There was no real threat in it, at this point Steve would probably cut his own arm off rather than let anyone walk alone anywhere, especially in the dark.

Eddie chewed on his bottom lip, (honestly one of these days Steve was sure he would chew right through it) weighing up his options before getting right up in Steve's personal space as per his usual and snatching the cup from his hand.

"Your threats have no substance here your majesty, for a fool has no rules but his own and follows no lead but that of his own will."

Eddie stuck the straw in his own mouth, finishing the drink and flashing his stained red tongue, almost licking the end of Steve’s nose with the tip. This close, Eddie's eyes always seemed far too knowing and eager, and it should worry him that Steve had seen them up close enough for him to know this.

Steve liked his own space, but more often than not he found Eddie in it these days, and he had learned that letting his guard down wasn’t as bad when someone like Eddie was on the other side of the wall.

"No idea how you consume that much sugar this late at night anyway, it's like you don't actually want to sleep," Nancy said, breaking Steve from the dangerous hold Eddie’s gaze held him in.

If anyone found the intense eye contact between the two of them strange, they never commented on it, well nobody but Robin.

But she wasn't here right now.

Nancy began rushing the rest of the party out the door, they naturally split into the two cars, evidently, most of the boys were off to Mike's for the evening.

Before leaving Dustin bounded towards them grabbing them in his usual parting embrace.

"Party still on for tomorrow? " He asked excitedly, face full of hope.

Steve wanted to wind him up a little, tell him they were all too old for Hallowe’en but he just didn't have it in him, the kids had been through too much for him to be cruel in a petty way.

He looked across at Eddie who was now shutting down the office lights and pulling his work shirt off, a slither of scarred skin showing before he pulled his black Metallica shirt back down into its right position. (Eddie hated the feel of polo shirts,and that had nothing to do with the dwindling number in Steves' wardrobe… honest.)

"We still on for tomorrow, Munson?"

Eddie jumped over the counter and pulled up beside Steve almost barreling him over in his eagerness. Eddie swung an arm around his neck, a devilish grin plastered on his face.

“I expect you at the door at eight on the dot young sir. No costume, no entry, exactly three full candy bar’s door charges, nothing with nougat. Expect to say goodbye to at least one of the baby teeth that are hanging on for dear life, because I take no prisoners in apple bobbing, not even for my prodigal son.” Eddie counted his points off on his fingers as he ushered Dustin to the door. “Now scram, I need to get this princess home before midnight, he needs his beauty sleep.”

“And no Twizzlers!” Steve yelled, Dustin waved a hand in acknowledgement, before dipping out the door past Nancy.

“You realise that all you're getting now is Twizzlers right?” Nancy smirked, it was annoying how knowing she looked all the time but Steve knew his kids now, he knew how they functioned, and he knew Nancy well enough to know she knew he knew this.

“Like they go trick or treating in the neighbourhoods that hand out Twizzlers. Like you would take them to the neighbourhoods that hand out anything but full-size candy bars Wheeler.” he nudged her out the door with his hip as Vickie and Eddie locked up the prize counter behind them.

“You talk a big game for someone who will be the one handing out the aforementioned Candy Princess Steve of candy tree lane,” Nancy really didn’t have to try to one up Eddie on the name calling, it felt like a jab when it came from Nancy.

“I think you will find, it’s Eddie on door duty, hence more for us at the end of the night. Only the brave or completely stupid will cross a satanic cult leader for his sugary hoard.”

“Alleged satanic Cult leader!” Eddie held up a hand in his own defence, rushing the stragglers out the glass doors as he locked up, the two cars were already full to the brim with excitable teens waiting impatiently for their lifts home. “Now get these henchmen home before they turn back into the mice they once were.”

Nancy rolled her eyes at him, heading towards her car. “Eight, costume three candy cover charge?.”

“Argyle already paid the cover for your party of rouges, you just need to bring your curly-haired self Wheeler, and make sure you don’t clash with-” Eddie pointed at Steve, “one of you will have to change”

Nancy shook her head, but the smile was visible even in the dull overhead of her car, she waved to them and then across to Jonathan in the other car, before both sets of wheels crunched out of the car park, leaving the three of them to wait by the car for Robin to close up shop.

“Like she would have the balls to wear the same as you, you have legs for days, what’s she got? Chicken legs,” Steve dug Eddie in the side with his index finger.

“Flattery gets you everywhere,” the grin actually hurt his face.

“Yet both of you are tragically single,” Vickie shot off way too quickly for Steve’s liking, she and Robin really needed to stop spending so much time together, they were turning into clones.

It only took a few moments for Robin to come to join them, practically vaulting across the car park and throwing her arms around Vickie.

“Not one of you came to save me from my perpetual boredom”

“Sorry, too busy watching Munson destroy his child's hopes and dreams…” Vickie snorted.

“What did he do to Dusty bun?’’

“Nothing. But he knocked Mad Max off the top spot on dragon’s lair, her revenge will be swift and deadly no doubt”

Robin high-fived Eddie then turned to Steve with a solemn look on her face, “Sorry for your loss, the first spouse is the hardest.”

“He was a good man, I never expected his own child to turn on him in such vicious circumstances.” Steve mocked as an exasperated Eddie stepped between the pantomime of Robin enacting his untimely demise at the hand of Max.

“If I die, I’m coming back to haunt you,” he warned.

“You can’t be killed, cockroach boy, you have the king's blood now,” Robin said low enough for Vickie not to hear, Steve winced at the comment, he really hated being referred to as a king, impulsively he looked at Eddie, who glanced away just as quick.

Neither of them talked about the blood transfusion in the hospital that had brought Eddie back from the brink. Not that that stopped the kids calling Eddie Dracula at any given time, and don’t even get started on the sucking jokes that came out once the dutchie had indeed been passed to the left-hand side. But the two of them? Eddie and Steve? they never spoke of it.

It felt strangely intimate to know that at one point Steve and Eddie shared the same blood; it was five months ago now, but Steve still wondered if part of him still lingered.

Not sensing that her words had sent Steve down some sort of spiral, Robin swooped around Eddie, kissed Steve on the cheek, ruffled Eddie’s hair and then turned to drag Vickie towards Steve’s back seat.

Eddie shook his head affectionately, “Buckley on a promise or something?” he asked nudging Steve as he walked around to the passenger door.

“Hey devil dingus and dingus prime, we can hear you, you know?” came Robin's voice from the back of the car. Eddie caught his eye over the top of the car and burst out laughing, chuckling to himself he slid into the driver's seat, happy for his best friend, but also wondering what it must be like to know you had someone to keep a promise too.

**********

Eddie didn’t hate Steve’s choice in music anywhere as much as Steve thought he did. Eddie appreciated a well-put-together song, he actually enjoyed some of the more cheesy tracks on Steve’s driving mix, and he could even forgive the Journey that currently blasts its way out of the speakers as they slid out to the town limits.

He, of course, would never tell Steve that, he enjoyed making him listen to thrash metal too much, and the faces he pulled were priceless.

After dropping the girls off at Robins (be safe, do nothing I wouldn’t do! Steve, that's revolting! What wouldn’t you do, Harrington? Wouldn’t you like to know…) hunger and a sugar crash hit them, and the quest for food had begun.

The only places open at this time of night were the diner out by the interstate, but they did a good burger and it was Steve’s turn to buy. Eddie was pretty sure that he could even get him to stretch to some onion rings if he played his cards right.

As the trees at the edge of the town fell away, the bright moonlight flooded the car, its pale light casting itself over Steve’s face, Eddie had become fond of catching glimpses of Steve like this, relaxed and at ease behind the wheel of the car, the near constant frown he wore on his forehead smoothed and almost invisible.

Steve Harrington was an enigma, and if there was one thing that Edward Manson enjoyed it was a good mystery.

As the opening chords of Heroes came through the speakers, Steve sang along, a sure sign that he was feeling safe enough to be himself.

Eddie couldn’t help but stare now, it had been almost five months since the events of the end, and in that time, a lot of things had changed.

Not least was the way Steve’s hair now fell long around his neck, gone was the carefully sculpted ‘do’.

Steve would say nothing, but Eddie knew it was to hide the worst of the marks around his neck where the bat's hold had almost ended him.

The bruises had faded but there were deep scars where the skin still hadn’t healed, a lasting gift from the upside down. Eddie knew Steve was paranoid about it, they didn’t talk about it but he knew.

That was another thing, Eddie just knew how Steve was feeling these days, be it a twitch of his eyebrow or the crinkle of his top lip, the man’s face was easy to read. How he had sat on top of the secrets of Demogorgons and Russians under the mall was beyond what Eddie could comprehend.

A lot of things had changed for sure but by far Eddie’s favourite thing was the way Steve would glance at him from the corner of his eye and smile.

Eddie wished he knew what that meant.

He may read Steve now but parts of the man were unknowable. At least Tolkien had given them a codex to decipher the new and unusual language of the elves, Eddie was yet to find the way to decipher the last few pages of the book of Harrington.

Part of him wanted that secret smile to mean more, but he tried not to linger on it, lest he hurt himself and lose a friend over it.

Why did Eddie have to fall so hard for the straightest man he knew?

“What are you thinking about so hard?” Steve asked as they turned onto the gravel drive of the diner.

“David Bowie,” Eddie lied easily, he had gotten used to having two trains of thought happening whenever he found himself staring aimlessly at Steve.

“Man is weird as hell looking, but still beds all the men and women he likes, and people look up to him like he’s a god. Mercury too. I mean I get it, they're talented musicians, but if they didn’t make a damn good tune, people would burn them at the stake, the whole pitchforks at dawn and run them out-of-town sort of deal.”

“This the gay thing again?” Steve idled the car as the sounds of Bowie died out to be replaced by the high-pitched wailing of Kate Bush. It was very much the emergency Vecna megamix in the car tonight, they all had one. Eddie wondered if Steve had put the tape in deliberately or if it had just been a coincidence.

“Not this time!” Good, Steve had been thrown off the scent, now to throw the curveball and get the hell out of the end zone- oh for fucks sake, he needed to spend more time with the kids the jock was rubbing off on him.

“No? what is it this time?”

“I…” Eddie deflated, they didn’t talk about this, the gay things, it was that strange taboo area like the time in the hospital that both he and Steve talked around rather than about. Eddie was out to Robin and Vic, but Steve?

No matter how far Steve moved up his friend list, Eddie didn’t want things to change. Couldn’t trust that if he was honest, it would all fall apart.

The sudden bombshell that the dude that’s all but seen you naked likes dick? It's not known to keep you in best friend status for long. Not even around the bleeding heart that is Steve Harrington.

Yes, Steve was accepting of Robin, encouraging even, but that was one gay person. That was like finding a bit of black confetti in a fourth of July parade. Not unheard of but in the bigger picture almost invisible. Being different wasn’t safe, and that was just his taste in music and being a nerd. Being queer on top of that?

Eddie shook his head and shucked off his seat belt. Steve grinned at him, ready for the gay rights rant Eddie had perfected. After all, he lived with his very single uncle, and people talked A lot.

“Ok. it’s the gay thing, but if we want to be picky about it.. it’s the bisexual thing-”

“The what?” Steve was staring at him now, hand paused in the action of turning off the car.

“You have a gay best friend and you don’t know what a bisexual is?”

God this man had a lot to learn and Eddie really wanted to be the one to teach him. It was almost cute the way his face twisted up like that whenever he got new information and tried to decipher it.

“And I never will if everybody does the Steve is an idiot face every time I ask a question.”

It was just as well that he was good-looking. It really sold that wide eyes confusion, like watching a toddler try to shove a square peg into a round hole, frustrating but they get there in the end. Eddie took pity on him, baby’s first adventures in queerness were always his soft spot, it was why he liked Will so much.

“It’s where you like both men and women. It’s right there in the name princess.”

Steve’s face did something too complex to decipher even with the Harrington codex, eyes darting to meet Eddies then darting back down to the steering wheel… and oh that was interesting, was that the telltale flush of a blush creeping up Steve’s neck?

Eddie would definitely unpack that later as he lay in his fancy new government-funded bed, staring at a ceiling in a neighbourhood that was way too quiet for the likes of him.

And just like that, the moment was over.

In one quick manoeuvre, Steve was out of the driving seat and slamming the roof with his hand.

“Come on, I'm starving.” Steve didn’t look back at the car as he headed to the door of the diner, leaving Eddie to question what had just happened as he trailed in his wake.

********

Steve had a lot to think about.

Ideally, he would call Robin and sound it out, but he had a funny feeling that she and Vickie were deep in their ‘sleepover’ (air quotes very much necessary), and it was just gone midnight, and he very much doubted that Mr Buckley would enjoy being woken up. Especially not when Steve was the one on the other end of the line.

He had spoken little as he and Eddie had eaten burgers in one of the tiny booths. Barely listening to Eddie complain about the jocks in the dinner's corner throwing fries at each other and roughhousing, faintly aware of the flashes of Hawkins High green and gold in his peripheral vision.

You have a gay best friend and you don’t know what a bisexual is?

Eddie’s words were stuck on repeat in his mind.

Eddie’s words, and Eddie.

Eddie who he spent most of his waking hours with, Eddie who was only alive because he had some of Steve’s own blood pumping through his veins. Eddie with his stupid big puppy dog eyes and his ability to make Steve’s heart race.

It's where you like both men and women.

When you put it like that it seems so simple.

But it wasn't, was it, nothing in Steve’s life ever was.

But maybe just maybe he had a name for the things he was feeling, he wasn’t alone, there were other people like him.

He needed to sound this out with someone.

It was just an issue that one of the two people he felt safe talking to, was the root of his current confusion.

He chewed on a fry as Eddie sounded out the last few ideas for the Hallowe’en party, he must have been nodding in all the right places because Eddie seemed to be happy with his responses.

Steve couldn’t focus, not even on how Eddie flayed his hands when he spoke or how he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth when he was thinking.

Two things that had captured his attention in more ways than he would like to admit in the past.

Steve didn’t even notice, when out of nowhere another person was in the booth, it was only because Eddie had stopped talking, his hands dropping to his knees, that he even realised something was amiss.

The brunette who had been sitting at the table with the Hawkins high basketball team had slid into his side of the rounded booth.

As soon as Steve noticed he moved closer to Eddie, decreasing the non-existent gap between them. She smiled, bright blue eyes and neatly curled eyelashes batting in his general direction.

Eddie at his side tensed up, his natural fight-or-flight instinct had kicked in almost as soon as the cheerleader had made her appearance, under the table where nobody could see Steve instinctively moved a hand to Eddie’s knee to calm him, but somehow it just made Eddie stiffen up more.

The girl seemed not to care about how awkward she was making things, she (Amy, she was called Amy although Steve was almost certain he hadn’t asked and just as certain that didn’t want to know) lent in close paying no mind to Eddie although he was right there, with Steve comically pressed into his side trying to get away from the unwanted advances of the honey trap in a gym skirt.

‘’You know, we’re having a big party over at Taylor’s tomorrow,-”

“He has plans.” Eddie cut her off. With a dangerous look in his eye, that Eddie the banished grin threatening to break out on his lips, Steve pressed down on the denim of Eddie’s knee again, this was their regular hangout these days, it wouldn’t do to go off on a Sir Eddie proclamation and get them banned. The burgers were actually pretty good.

“What with you?” Amy smirked. “Is this some sort of charity thing? First the weird kids and now the killer? Are you on community service or something? Or are you part of his Cult too?” and there it was, god was he this insufferable when he was one of them? He deserved all the beatings he got. He really did.

“I would like you to leave,” Steve said rather than the plethora of other things that were on the tip of his tongue.

Amy just scoffed again, throwing her hair over her shoulder at the request. “I said leave, or the news that you blew Dr Kenner behind the bleachers to get that C, will suddenly become public knowledge.” her face drained of colour, and Steve had never been happier to have band geek knowledge on his side, he owed Robbin at least one extra shot tomorrow.

They watched as she joined the rest of her flock, shooting filthy looks at Eddie and Steve in their booth.

In a move he had very much stolen from Eddie he lifted his hand and gave a little wave.

Beside him, Eddie relaxed a little, letting out a low whistle. “So all I had to do to get a C was a little extracurricular with wolfman of Indiana? Jesus, even I wasn’t that desperate”

“No, just desperate enough to get tutored by a fifteen-year-old… Come on, I'm done, I want a smoke.” Steve still had his hand on Eddie’s thigh just above the knee, the point of contact was almost too much.

He knew Eddie was looking at him trying to work out what was going on in his head.

He had just turned down an almost sure thing. But the idea of a random hook-up? That turned his stomach now more than anything the upside down had thrown at him. It just felt so shallow.

He wanted a connection, he wanted… he squeezed Eddie’s knee one more time before sliding out of the booth, throwing a bill down for a tip since it seemed the army of jocks had zero manners and the waitress already looked at her wit's end.

When Eddie didn’t move to follow he paused, looking down at where Eddie had been staring down at the table as if trying to comprehend something he couldn’t quite decipher.

“Don’t hurt yourself Ed’s, I want to spend time with my friends, not getting paralytic with strangers.” that seemed to shift something in Eddie and he jumped to his feet. Throwing his own tip on the table and flipping the bird to the sea of gold and green that heckled from behind him.

They sat on Steve’s car hood, sharing the last cigarette between them.

Steve had mellowed a lot in the last few years, almost dying will do that to a man, but he still didn’t like to let anyone smoke inside the car, it stuck to the leather.

It had taken months to get the stench of the upside down out of the seats, yet somehow the one joint that he and Robin had smoked in the car, months before it all went south again, still lingered despite the thorough valeting that had happened courtesy of the government.

He waited for Eddie to say something, anything about what had just happened in the Diner but it never happened, Eddie seemed to be stuck inside his own head now almost as much as Steve was.

Maybe if he had been more focused on what was happening around him, it wouldn’t have happened. Maybe if he hadn’t been so focused on the points where he could feel the warmth coming from Eddie despite the cool autumn air he would have seen it coming.

‘The Fag and the Freak, who would have thought it!’

It was all the warning they got before they got drenched in ice-cold liquid. The sickly sweet smell of artificial cherry hit him like a brick.

“Fucking Assholes!” Eddie had slid off the hood, but it was pointless. Even through his sticky-faced haze, Steve could see the taillights turning out of the parking lot, though he couldn’t help but be impressed at the speed Eddie had sprung into action. Even with the lingering pain of the wounds, he had shot across the lot, flipping every gesture he could with his fingers, and riling off so many curse words it would have made Nancy blush.

Steve tried to push some of the syrupy stickiness off his face with the corner of his jacket, but it was useless, there had obviously been more than one marksman in the group, it had been the basketball team after all.

Eddie trudged back towards him, hair damp and sticking to his face, his vest covered in dark red syrup, in the hazy half darkness of the light cast by the long windows of the Dinner, it almost looked like blood.

He froze, he was back there, Eddie bleeding out, Steve frantically trying desperately to keep his insides where they were supposed to be on the inside of his deathly ashen body, why was it suddenly hard to breathe? Why was there no air?

“Steve, Stevie, Steve-o…” Eddie’s hands were on him now, holding his face between his hands as Steve drowned. That was what was happening, he was drowning… noises were muted, colours had no substance he was finding it increasingly hard to breathe…

“Princess, come on don’t do this right now,”

Something warm and dry was being pressed to the side of his face now, rough and worn down, just like him.

Eddie was still holding his face with one hand, the other was wiping away the viscous slime of the Slurpee from his eyelids, his cheek… Steve blinked his eyes open eventually, locking them with Eddie where he stood still dripping cherry syrup and ice onto the frosty asphalt.

His eyes were full of concern and fear. Wordlessly Steve pulled him forward into a hug, barely caring that the waitress stood to the side watching them. Eddie’s heart was racing against his chest, Steve could feel its jackrabbit pace as he gripped him, no longer warm because of the soaking but very much alive. It quelled some of the anger and panic that pulsed through him in waves.

Eventually, Steve pulled away from the hug. His heart no longer wanted to jump out of his throat, it had logged somewhere in his chest cavity a little further north than normal but in the right place.

Evidently happy that she was no longer needed anymore, the waitress handed off more dish towels to them, Eddie thanked her, using one to clean himself down, scraping the worst of it out of his hair with aggressive scrubs.

It only took Eddie throwing the towel at him for Steve to clean off his own hair.

“Well, that's the first time I’ve been on the receiving end.”

Eddie’s peel of laughter cracked through the night sky.

“Is that your way of telling me you're a top Harrington? Good to know.”

Steve was glad it was dark so Eddie couldn’t see the blush creeping up his cheeks, not that he would have been able to make it out under the cherry stain even in the brightest of sunlight. Eddie lay the two remaining dish towels on the seats of the car carefully to make sure they covered the upholstery as much as possible. Then climbed into the car. Behind the wheel.

Steve looked at him, confused. “You just had a full-blown panic attack, I am not letting you drive… get in Harrington.”’

And Eddie looked so determined he didn’t even have it in him to argue.

******

Eddie had been to Steve’s place a lot in the last five months, from watching the kids dive bomb each other from the side of the pool, heckled and scored out of twelve by the medically forced judges, to quiet movie nights just the two of them and a plethora of stories to choose from.

He knew his way about the lower floors of Castle Harrington like the back of his own hand, he would even say that he knew it better than the cushy little two-bed that the government had bestowed upon him, and his uncle with the hush money.

Hell, Eddie was sure he spent more time sitting on Steve’s sofa than he had on his own a few blocks over. Not that he hated Casa de Munson, far from it, It was an amazing little house, all fancy mod cons and with air conditioning and an actual gas barbecue built into a snazzy little alcove out back where the yard cosies up to the woods.

But Wayne still worked nights, and sometimes no matter how many times Eddie locked the door and shone a flashlight out into the treeline, the feeling of being watched… hunted, wouldn’t fade.

They were the nights that he would turn up at Steve’s uninvited, and the two of them would just exist, sharing the same space in some sort of unspoken agreement until Eddie fell asleep on the sofa to the sound of some ridiculous action flick from the bargain basement in Family Video.

In all that time, he had never once entered Steve Harrington’s bedroom.

The second floor was out of bounds, it was like Steve’s room was his fortress of solitude or something. Eddie wouldn’t be surprised if when he had opened the door, Smaug was sitting on a pile of gold in the middle of the floor.

He had followed Steve on his instructions. Pausing at the bottom of the stairs up to the top floor, unsure if he was supposed to wait. He was still shivering where his shirt clung to him. He was drenched through,aware that the dripping may well have slowed but it hadn’t quite stopped, his denim jacket had been abandoned at the door alongside Steve’s, boots kicked off at the door, there were still puddles of red wherever they walked though, Eddie tried not to think how much they looked like blood.

The journey back had done little to dry them off, the hot air making everything sickly sweet and making Eddie’s hands stick even more to the wheel. Fear had already made his grip white knuckle on the leather, his stomach and mind racing as they replayed the look of terror in the other mans eyes.

He hadn’t enjoyed seeing Steve panic like that.

It scared him.

And now standing at the foot of the stairs up to Steve’s inner sanctum, that fear was creeping up the back of his neck, almost as if Vecna was trying to claw his way in.

Steve had paused halfway up the stairs, turning to look back at him. He looked exhausted, his hair worse than Eddie had ever seen it, matted and congealed to his forehead, he looked thoroughly deflated, and not just in the hair department.

The fall from grace was a long one, and it wasn’t complete until you got a gallon of artificial sweeteners thrown at you. It was humiliating and painful, and it always happened in front of the people you wanted it to least.

Eddie was the expert in that degradement, he had tasted the goddamn rainbow. At least Steve didn’t have to deal with it all alone, he had Eddie. He just hoped that stood for something.

Steve waited, nodding for Eddie to follow him. Even so, Eddie stalled. It felt wrong, like breaching the threshold to Steve’s personal living space was crossing a line.

“Demobats didn’t really turn you into a vampire, did they? Do I have to give you permission to cross the threshold?” he could tell that Steve was playing it off as a joke, but knowing their look it could have been true. “come up to the lab… see what's on the slab…”

Rolling his eyes, he tried not to break into a smile, “ I don’t think you have the brains to make a man with blond hair and a tan,”

“Not my style, I'm more of a staying sane inside insanity kind of guy.” Steve countered, “You know how it is. Prefer the unpredictable chaos of a bad boy.”

“I knew Robin had made a monster out of you by letting you watch Rocky horror.”

“You just don’t like us singing your theme tune at you, You should get a bike, I think it would add to the ‘You’ of it all.” Eddie moved forward to swipe playfully at the other man, moving onto the stairs as he did so. Steve laughed, looking slightly smug above him, the prick

“See no piles of ashes or puffs of smoke, you live to fight another day.’’

“Amusing princess, laugh it up, I might not have turned into dust but you're the one that has to get the red stains out of your mother's carpet,” sure enough there was a trail of red leading up the cream-coloured carpets,

“If I can get blood out of the Persian rug, it’ll not be a problem.” he shrugged, running his eyes from the dripping footsteps and up Eddie’s cherry-covered legs

“Just get your pretty little ass upstairs, before the hallway ends up looking even more like something from the shining.”

Steve was at least smiling again now, a genuine thing that Eddie had earned through being there when the scowl and the sorrow had been the only thing that the other man could manage.

A true Steve smile was something precious and Eddie always felt flattered to be on the receiving end of it. It was almost deadly when it was paired with the fleurtacious nature there friendship had evolved.

“Harrington. You flatter me,” the swoon was less faked than Eddie would like to admit. It was easy to see why he had the reputation that preceded him back in school.

“Just get up the stairs, and take off the clothes Munson”

That made Eddie falter, swallowing down the pitifully needy noise that had formed in his throat, did Steve hear how filthy that had sounded? He had to have, right?

This was straying into unknown territory, and as much as Eddie really really wanted Steve, he was almost positive this was just more playful back and forth between the two of them. Didn’t mean that it didn’t have his complete attention, especially when Steve was looking at him, his expression that of a man who had indeed just heard the noise that Eddie had tried to mask.

Panic made a fool of him, forcing his smile not to slip. He aimed for joking but wasn’t sure he hit his mark. “Oh, now… that's the top I know and love…” Eddie teased, trying to cut the strangely charged air between them by moving further up the steps..

“That's not going anywhere, is it?” Steve groaned.

“Not if I can help it, you set yourself up for these things you know.” Steve’s hand fell to Eddie’s hip as he pressed past him. Momentarily they were on the same step, pressed hip to chest as both Eddie and Steve tried to keep their syrup-covered t-shirt away from the off white wall.

Eddie stalled again, this time he didn’t try and look away from the other man, it was almost intoxicating being this close and knowing that for once he hadn’t been the one to instigate it.

“You shouldn’t let yourself get so easily led, your highness, you are after all royalty.” The feeling of Steve’s hand on his waist was making the air hard to breathe again,Steve had to know what he was doing.no chance in hell this was just a thing they did now, it was too intimate.

There was something to be said for the way that Steve didn’t seem to be able to settle on where to look. It was like time had slowed down, stuck in the same syrupy molasses that their clothes and hair were.

Eddie wasn’t shy, he wasn’t backwards at coming forwards in most things, but his instincts were fighting his situation.

If this were a club, Eddie would already have his tongue halfway down his throat by now.

“It's not my fault you took advantage of my delicate corruptible state”

“If I had known it was this easy to corrupt the king, I would have done it years ago.” They still pressed together, sticky torso to sticky torso, Steve searching his face for something, Eddie wished he knew what it was the other man was searching for.

“I might have abdicated a lot sooner if you had” he said it barely above a whisper, but it didn’t matter with how close they were standing.

“Well King, I'm glad I was here to help catch you on your fall from grace”

Steve hated it when anyone else called him anything that pertained to his infamous reign as the king of Hawkins high.

Eddie had watched him wince at the name more times than he could count, yet when Eddie did it, he got a free pass. Tonight he even got a smile. It reached all the way to the other man’s eyes, and it made him want to melt.

It was just another of the things that added up to the utter trip that was Steve Harrington.

Steve tightened his grip, only slightly, but Eddie felt the change in gravity as Steve eased him toward his room. He was one step up now, looking down. It was just unfair that even in his absolute lowest moment of social anguish, Steve somehow looked devastatingly handsome.

The younger man chewed his lip now, worrying about something.

It was a wonder he got anything done, the brain cells he had hidden behind their honey eyes were always working on the next disaster. Eddie was thinking they had a lot in common in that respect.

The smile on Steve’s face suited him better than the grimace he wore now.

Eddie hadn’t realised he had been staring again, but he had nothing to break the awkwardness this time when Steve asked what he was thinking.

Because everything in him was trying to stop him from doing something stupid.

Steve wasn’t some easy pickup from some dodgy Indianapolis bar, he was STEVE.

Eddie just shook his head, shaking off the urge to lean in and just give in to temptation.

It was enough, it broke the movement and instead he gave in to Steve's original nagging, letting him push them further up and onto the top floor. Eddie did what he was told trying to think about anything but the gravitational pull of Steve’s lips, his eyes…

“Don’t think I didn’t hear you say you loved me, Munson …” Steve said from his place behind him, it sounded teasing, yet it was laced with something else, maybe a lingering remnant of the conversation on the stairs.

“Don’t let it go to your head, I love you like someone would love a puppy or a kitten, or hell, the way someone would love Henderson if you could teach the little monster to shit in a box…”

Steve laughed long and hard at that, moving to grab some towels from the linen closet in the hallway, and pointing Eddie towards the room on the left, “Go wash that shit out your hair man, I’ll grab you a change of clothes I’ll stick them on the vanity while you grab the first shower.”

Thankfully normal gravity had returned, it brought Eddie to his senses with a bump. The ache in his stomach was nothing to the black hole in his heart.

Steve’s bathroom was almost the size of Eddie’s old room in the trailer, one day he really would have to ask Steve what the hell it was his dad did for a living because Eddie couldn’t think what could pay this well.

He stared blankly at the many knobs and dials that lined the wall of the shower. Of course, Steve didn’t have a simple on/off shower or even a unit attached to the taps.

Jesus one year the shower in the trailer had broken so badly that they had utilised the old tin bath out the back of their trailer as an alternative to smelling like a garbage fire until Eddie had dealt enough to get the spare parts.

Steve’s bathroom was chrome and shiny and looked like something out of aliens, fitting that the king should have room for a queen behind the hot-water pipes.

At least, the rich people's issues had calmed him slightly, wanting to kiss your best friend paled compared to the gargantuan task that lay before him in the quest for hot water.

“Harrington, I hate to tell you but someone replaced your shower with a time machine,” he yelled as he peeled the sodden top layers from his body, looking for somewhere to put his soiled clothes in the gargantuan bathroom.

He nearly shat a brick when he turned and Steve was standing almost on top of him, a clean pile of clothes in one hand and a laundry bag in the other. He’d also stripped to his boxers, his syrup-covered clothes already in the bag in hand.

“Jesus Stevie, don’t do that, you move like a goddamn ninja sometimes you know.”

Steve grinned down at him holding out the bag for him to dump his shirt in. Eddie didn’t know what was worse, that Steve was almost naked, or that he didn’t look at all bothered by it. In comparison, Eddie wanted to shy away and hide.

Honestly, jocks and their casual nudity, this was why he skipped gym class, too much free-roaming dick. And to think they called him the freak, there was something wrong with straight mens wiring he was sure of it. At least when he was a purveyor of penis, it was behind closed doors,not in a locker room, with all that matcho energy.

Eddie dropped his shirt in the bag and then froze, Steve wasn’t going anywhere. He seemed to be fascinated by the Shelob tattoo on Eddie’s chest, eye’s fixed on it right up until he realised he was caught, he didn’t back down though, instead he just settled into the side of the vanity, waiting for Eddie to give him the rest of his soaked clothes.

Fine, if they were going to play gay chicken, he, as a gay man, was going to walk the floor with it.

He held eye contact as he tried to undo his belt without looking, sliding it out of the hoops and taking off his key chains, placing them safely on the sink counter with his wallet, rings and the crap from his pockets. (wouldn’t do to fuck up the rich person's washer, repairs would probably be a month's wages, and the arcade paid ok, but not enough to have that kind of disposable)

He pulled off his socks next, throwing them in the bag as he lent against the counter, really wishing that he hadn’t worn one of his tightest pairs of jeans to work today.

Steve still watched him as a silent sentinel in his cherry-stained boxers. His face was unreadable. Prick.

Finally, he reached for his flies popping a button at a time till Steve finally looked away, the flush up the back of his neck had nothing to do with slurpeegedon and everything to do with the way he had almost looked like he suddenly wanted to eat Eddie alive.

Holy hell, he needed to talk to Robin or Vic, or just to scream into a pillow loudly.

Trying to redeem some sort of modesty he turned away from the other man, shimmying the sticky denim down past his knees and somehow keeping his own boxers in their correct position. He threw the jeans at Steve who caught them and shoved them in the bag with ease.

Resting the laundry basket against the door, Steve’s composure finally broke, voice sticking when he finally asked “What was that about a time machine?”

So, that was how Eddie found himself standing in just his pants, Steve’s naked torso pressed along his back, as the other man pulled and tugged at the shower controls.

It was making Eddie very self-conscious, what felt like an hour was probably a few seconds and it was becoming very difficult to play this off as bros being bros.

Not when this was playing out like the porno he had tucked under his bed.

What Eddie’s saying is that he’s never going to look at a cherry-flavoured anything ever again without getting just a little turned on.

“Takes a while for the heat to rise” Steve muttered somewhere near his left ear. Goosebumps started to form where his breath fell on already cold skin, it was torture. Eddie was acutely aware of how much his own body was beginning to show its interest, glad that the cold water was at least helping keep things in check.

“Gonna be smelling like an ice pole for a month,” Steve muttered as he finally moved out of Eddie's space, hopping out of the tub and resting against the sink again. Eddie was tempted to just throw himself under the cold water, and get rid of the itching under his skin where he could feel Steve’s eyes tracing his scars. He lingered on the one just under his rib cage that had cut right through one of his tattoos, his eyes felt like a brand burning wherever they landed.

Eddie was about to tell him to take a picture so it would last longer when the hot water sputtered through the shower head making him jump.

“Get under it, then throw me your pants.” Steve grinned, grabbing the shower curtain and pulling it the length of the tub.

Christ alive Eddie could understand why the kids called him mom now, he was bossy as fuck.

Not that Eddie had a problem with that, he kind of liked it.

But it had been a long damn day, and he was naked in The King's own bathroom, it was going to his head, both of them.

Peeling the shorts off he flung them over the top of the shower curtain, hoping to god that he was going to be able to live this down. Or get out of here alive, he might die of mortification, that was a thing, right? He was sure that was a thing…

“I’ll give you ten but if you’re not done…” Steve left that hanging, thick and heavy in the now steaming up air of the bathroom, if Eddie hadn’t already been on edge about every single noise around him, he wouldn’t have heard the door click shut, but as he was, he did.

A quick glance around the curtain proved he was indeed alone.

He made a sorry sight he was sure; as the red in his hair washed down the drain, half hard and trying desperately to think about anything else but the almost naked man that was trying to break his resolve to not fuck this whole friendship up.

He was so out of his depth he couldn’t see daylight anymore.

“Fuck” he muttered as he stepped under the hot water, not convinced Steve was joking about that time limit.

**********

Steve headed down the stairs to the utility room.

Once he was sure the door was closed and that Eddie absolutely couldn’t hear him, he shoved his head in the bag of laundry and let out a strangled scream.

What the fuck was he thinking?

He wasn’t. Obviously, that was the problem.

He hadn’t expected Eddie to have his top off when he walked in; the shower was off, but unfortunately so was Eddie’s shirt.

He didn’t mean to stare, didn’t intend to get up into Eddie’s space like that, but some part of his monkey brain had taken over, and fuck it, he wasn’t proud of it but it had happened, and now what?

Now Eddie probably thought he was some sort of pervert, great, fantastic.

He screamed into the fabric one more time, realised it was Eddie’s Metallica shirt and then threw it in the wash as if it had burned him.

What had gotten into him, was he really that desperate for human contact he willingly has to destroy his closest adult relationship other than Robin?

Angrily he chugged the detergent into the machine, he didn’t bother measuring it. It was going to take a miracle and then maybe divine intervention to get the stains out.

He was expecting to throw his shirt in the trash, but he wanted to make sure he saved Eddie’s. The orange writing stood out proud as he watched the detergent start to soak into the clothes.

Ride the lightning tour 1985, Eddie had shown him a bootleg VHS of the gig, ‘’I was their man, the country club, that’s where I got the badge on my vest, W.a.s.p were amazing. Man, I couldn’t hear for a week, scored me a damn near week straight of detention, but it was worth it, Metallica… the music was alive, I swear if I could play half as good as them I’d actually start that damn cult and thank Satan personally.’ high and happy head resting against Steve’s knee, he had paused the screen to excitedly point himself in the scrum of people, for once looking like he really belonged. It was the happiest Steve had ever seen him.

So yeah, the fucking stain better come the fuck out, or Steve was going to add taking a baseball bat to the knees of the high school basketball team to his list.

Slamming the lid down, he put the machine in a long cycle, just to give it all the luck in the world, praying to whatever god would have him that he didn’t have to spend the rest of the year trying to find him a replacement. It just wouldn’t be the same as the original.

Walking back up to his room felt like he was climbing mount Everest, every step closer to Eddie felt like he was getting closer to some sort of breaking point.

Eddie always flirts back, Eddie likes it when you make loaded suggestions, maybe just maybe. Best to squash that thinking down, lock it away where nobody could ever find it. Even if Eddie saying he loved him, even as a joke, had been the most alive he had felt in years. (real-life monster encounters not included.)

Maybe he had drowned in Lovers lake, that was why he felt like he was getting pulled under before, this was all just some end-of-life experience that was it. It was fine; he was just dying, no biggy. Suddenly he understood how Robin spiralled so easy, he was doing it himself; it had been as easy as falling. No wonder she was such a klutz.

He was just about to step out onto his hallway when the bathroom door opened. He waited, greeted a second later by a slightly less sugar-coated Eddie.

“Really? You had nothing you could have given me to wear that didn’t have Hawkins fucking High on it, man? I only just escaped.” His hair hung damp around his face, evidence of scrubbing his face under the water still lingered in his rosy cheeks.

He held out the offending article waiting for Steve to say something, but he would wait a long time, because for the second time (or was it the third?) tonight Steve’s brain had gone completely blank.

Eddie, paranoid at Steve staring again, crossed his arms across his naked chest. It did nothing to help Steve’s brain get back on track, all it did was draw attention to the curve of Eddie’s hips and the way Steve’s old basketball shorts hung low on them. The curve of the scars on his stomach lead to the thick strip of hair that ducked below the dark green elastic of the shorts. Steve couldn’t stop himself from trailing that line down over-

Steve really wanted that bundle of clothes to scream into again, it would help, he was sure of it.

Panic gripped him, “Yeah just, go grab something, top draw, I’m gonna” he pointed to the bathroom trying desperately to scrape back some sort of dignity and knowing that absolutely nothing was going to excuse the weirdness that had happened between leaving the Arcade and now.

He was madly in lust with his best friend. He was so screwed.

******

Eddie waited till he heard the shower turn on, wondering if he should go down and get the first aid kit. Steve was acting really strange, stranger than normal.

Maybe he had banged his head? Or maybe he hadn’t completely come down from the panic attack at the dinner?

Or maybe, just maybe there's a chance that Steve likes you just as much as you like him? Eddie didn’t listen to that voice in his head. It told him lies.

Lies like maybe you should try to kiss Brett from band practice?

Because that voice had been so damn sure that, just like now.

Brett likes you back, it told him.

Trust your gut.

Brett broke his nose.

And his heart.

But two weeks later his family moved him to Utah and signed him up for the ministry. So who knows maybe the voice was right, but it didn’t mean that it should be trusted.

Eddie took a moment to take in Steve’s room. Unlike the rest of the house, there were obvious signs of life dotted around the place, clothes hung out of the closet (an actual walk-in closet too, fancy) a stack of tapes sat by the stereo (nice to see that his influence had snuck in between the Ultravox and Smiths) various projects sat half-finished on the desk, including one of the bottle rockets that the kids had been making out in the yard at the end of summer. El had decorated the SS hairspray, you could tell by the bright white daisies she had painted on the side. Something stirred in Eddie's gut upon seeing it, set out like a parent showing off their kids' art on the fridge door or something.

Dustin might be the favourite child but El was a fucking superhero, she was a deserving number two.

Propped around the mirror were various polaroids from the last few months.

Their weird little bonded group had tried to scrape something of their life back from the black hole that festered below their feet.

And they had packed so much into such a short amount of time, for once in his life Eddie felt like he had something he could tangibly call a family. Wayne had even come over to one of Hopper's cookouts as the kids said goodbye to the summer, it was strange and new… and Eddie didn’t want to lose it.

In every photo Steve and Eddie were together, arms were thrown over each other, or sitting in the same chair, insignificant points of contact. Eddie knew he was a tactile guy, but to see it in print was something completely different, there wasn’t a single photo where he and Steve weren't touching.

Eddie placed the vetoed shirt on the back of the desk chair, leaning in to look at the print that was held in front and centre on the mirror, he and Steve, deep in conversation squeezed into one of the tiny pool chairs out back although all the other ones were vacant.

They sat facing each other, legs over opposite sides of the chair, both heads inclined and both sets of hands animatedly emphasising whatever they were talking about. Jonathan had to have taken this, it was too well framed, and the light was too perfect for it to be one of the kids. Eddie really needed to talk to him about the weird creeper photos, but not until he had gotten a copy of this one.

He looked at it closer; it told a story.

No wonder nobody said anything about Eddie and Steve having intense staring contests, looking at the picture he had plucked from the mirror, it was obvious they had been metaphysically eye fucking for a long time. How hadn’t Eddie noticed how obvious he had been? It was written all over his face in each and every one of the photos that littered Steve’s mirror.

In the here and now, Steve’s hand on the small of his back made him jump. The warm skin of his palm met the now cooling air on his back where the room had chilled his skin.

“Warned you about the ninja thing dude” his chest heaved, as he tried to calm his nerves. The low chuckle that came out of the other man was almost worth the racing heart.

“This isn’t getting a new top,” in the mirror Eddie focused his attention on Steve where he now stood caught in the reflection.

He was one to talk, still naked from the waist up, his own pyjama bottoms sitting snug on his hips, his damp hair gaining some of its bounce again now it wasn’t weighed down with detritus. Eddie couldn't help the way his chest tightened at the sight.

There were a million racing thoughts going through his head and the last few hours had seemed to bring this back and forth the two of them had been playing to breaking point.

This was ridiculous, he needed to tell Steve... Tell Steve what? he was… was what? Gay? Was falling stupidly in love with him? That he was getting to where he was worried he was going to do something stupid and lose the best friend he had ever had? That there was definitely a solid chance Steve needed to put a shirt on before Eddie combusted on the spot?

He couldn’t say any of that. It was all just too much.

“Don’t need a new top, like the one I’ve got already” yeah Eddie good one, go for the joke, break the moment, run run run, that's what you are good at after all.

Mirror Steve rolled his eyes, attention falling from their reflection and to the photo that Eddie was holding.

Steve pressed closer to Eddie, leaning in to get a better look at the print in his hand and this time Eddie knew it was deliberate, he caught the other man checking for his reaction in the mirror. He could see the voice in Eddie's mind reflected in the glint of Steve's eye.

He looked away, swallowing down the nerves that suddenly veered for his attention.

The voice in his head was screaming at him now, yelling I told you so, but still…

When was the last time anyone had touched him like this, not chasing something from him, not a means to a quick end, skin against skin not born from pain or drunken lust?

He was sure the strange cut-off noise had come from his throat, there was no alcohol involved in this lust, just want; Steve confirmed the noise had been out loud when he dropped his hand yet again to his hip, a ghost of the touches from earlier in the night.

"Eddie?" Steve ran his other hand up his side, tracing the tattoo that had caught his attention earlier. This was intentional, this was calculated, this wasn't bros in the locker room behaviour.

Steve leaned closer, scanning Eddie's reflection for something, brows drawn, like maybe the secrets of the universe were written on the mirror in a language only Steve could understand.

From where they stood, it was easy to see how closely their scars resemble each other, mirrored not only in the reflection but on the skin the mirror showed.

Steve’s scars ran the length of his left side, Eddie’s his right, the wounds from near strangulation matched on them both. Two halves of the same whole. They were the very picture of the cult sacrifices the papers had spun yet somehow Steve looked even more handsome for it.

They looked like they belonged together and it made him ache for what could be.

Eddie knew he was done for.

Had been for some time if he was honest, he would say he was doomed, but hope flickered, ever burning in the depths of his heart because time and time again Steve kept choosing the path that drew him back to this.

"When he's not being a creepy pervert- stoner, Byers occasionally catches someone's good side." Steve’s breath smelt like toothpaste and his day-old stubble scuffed against Eddie's cheek, he was close.

Too close, it was almost suffocating, what the hell was happening?

Steve was Straight. Capital S straight.

No amount of hoping and fantasising about it was ever going to change that.

It was Eddie who invaded people’s spaces, it was Eddie who flirted with everyone that had a pulse, made wisecracks and pushed the boundaries. Yet right now when the roles were reversed, Eddie couldn’t separate the real from the fake. That was if there was any fake left at all.

It was all too much, and at the same time, not enough at all.

He couldn’t do this, not after everything.

Over everything else, he needed Steve as a friend.

Eddie stiffened up, shrugging Steve off, and the other man stepped back as if shunned.

But that wouldn't do, spinning on the spot reaching out to grab Steve before he stepped away forever because he wasn’t sure he could survive if that was the outcome of this… he needed… he needed.. He needed-

Steve’s skin burned where Eddie had grabbed at his wrist, stopping the other man from fleeing.

"What's going on here Steve?" it scared him how little it sounded like a question, more like a plea or beg, he wanted to understand, he needed to understand.

"I don't… I don't know…" Steve’s gaze was downcast, searching for the answers in the eyesore of a bedroom carpet.

“Would it be better if I left?” he asked when the words seemed to have dried up completely from the other man.

Steve shook his head, making a sound almost like he found the whole idea so much worse than the internal struggle going on in his head.

The feeling in Eddie's chest settled, he hadn’t wanted to leave, he had just been spitballing trying to get Steve to talk.

He still wasn’t talking but at least he wasn’t shut completely down or running for the hills, just trying to sort out whatever was going on in that pretty little head of his.

“If we're going to stand here all night, I’m going to have to get a shirt, I'm freezing my tits off here Steve-o,” that got the other man’s attention.

Guilt twisting in his face, Steve pulled his hand away from Eddie’s grip and moved towards the dresser.

Following in his wake he observed the items being checked over as Steve pulled out a few ringer shirts and finally raked his eyes over a dark grey well-loved top. (the familiar flash of denim Steve had tried to hide made that feeling churning in his chest jump and spin faster… he had kept it? That was a good sign, right? )

“No Hawkins high, but it does have…” he held up the t-shirt guiltily, the name Harington faded with wear stretched over the shoulder blades.

Eddie snatched it up.

“You know I was just joking about the school thing right? But Grey is much more my colour.” He pulled it over his head quickly, it was as soft as it looked, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. And he laughed.

“I'm not laughing at your preppy wardrobe don’t worry princess,” Eddie stepped forward again, this time he felt a little more confident, he wasn’t as much on display,not as vulnerable with a little less skin on show. “Well, I am. But only because your name had just taken up your apparent favourite new spot.” he gestured at his shoulder where Steve had been not once but twice in the last hour.

“I should apologise for that-”

“You don’t have to apologise,” Eddie stepped in closer again, not space invader close but near enough that Steve would have to refocus to look at him. He wanted his full attention for this, he didn’t think he had it in him to say it twice.

“I just… Steve, I’m just… I don’t have many close friends ok, and I’m struggling to understand what this is,” he tapped the back of his hand to Steve’s chest ( yes it was as fluffy as it looked) and then held his palm acoss his own chest, “is it just the way you are? Around everyone or if...” Eddie swallowed, he didn’t miss the way Steve’s eyes followed the bob of his Adam's apple. “Or if this is the way you are …just around me? Because I'm scared that if I'm reading this wrong this could be the worst time in the world to tell you that…” words were suddenly a million times harder, he was good at words, he was a teller of tales and a weaver of stories, but this?

“Tell me what?” Steve prompted, eyes honest and earnest.

“That, if this whole thing is capital P platonic, we're going to have to take a step back. Because my gay little heart is going to explode if we keep this up much longer.” Steve froze, but only for a second.

The next second his hand raised and Eddie braced for the inevitable fist to the face, but it didn’t happen.

Steve's hands had both shot to his own hair, and he tugged at it as he pulled himself out of the space between Eddie and the dresser. Pacing the room as he made pained nonsense noises looking everywhere but at Eddie where he stood trying not to let the broken bits of his heart fall away until there were no witnesses to the destruction.

This was the part where Eddie left. Made a grand parting gesture or slinked out in the shadows. He had screwed up and the sooner he got out of the way the sooner they could forget about it, and start living their lives as if they had never met.

It would be fine, it wasn’t like they didn’t have the same mutual friend group or anything…

Eddie had just turned to leave when Steve threw himself before him, blocking off the exit.

“Where do you think you're going?” Voice frantic arms crossed Steve looked like a man not to be messed with, it was like someone had flipped a switch.

“Home, before I contaminate you with my queerness. Come on let me leave Harrington, tail between legs to lick my own wounds,” He hated how pathetic his voice sounded.

“You aren’t contaminating anyone with anything but you’re damn nerd shit MUNSON,”

Eyes hardened, Steve looked almost as intense as he had when he bit that bat's head off, now that Eddie was under that gaze, he knew the swarms of bats must have been blind because Steve looked positively fierce.

He was torn between swooning, surging forward to kiss him or running away screaming, and all options were on equal footing.

The only reason he had done none of those things, was the fact he was waiting for Steve to finish talking because he very much looked like he hadn’t gotten what he wanted to say off his chest. Eddie’s self-preservation was renowned for being rubbish at the best of times, but his curiosity was his biggest downfall.

And if this was the last hurrah, Steve deserved to get his say just as much as Eddie had.

“Ed’s, if anyone was going to contaminate me it would have been Robin, and she was a little too fucking late to recruit me to the team. So if you could just give me a FUCKING second,” he held his palm up by his head, like a preacher mid sermon “I’m just getting my brain up to speed with the rest of me. Let me just check my damn stats because my body went rogue and I think I might have just been dealt a critical hit…”

Steve was practically vibrating with adrenalin, but he still managed to point a finger stubbornly into Eddie’s chest

“And you better appreciate the fact I just referenced some of your goddamn Dungeons and Dragons shit, because right now I'm word vomiting so much I make Buckley look like a valedictorian.”

Eddie knew his mouth was hanging open, his brain attempting to put together all the things that were happening right now, it was a lot, and it was all noise and static, what did Steve mean ‘too late to recruit me to the team?’ Did that mean…

“But you like women?” He knew how stupid it sounded but his brain was hanging upside down, Steve didn’t hold the monopoly on pretty and dumb, it could be a joint venture.

“You have a gay best friend and you don’t know what a bisexual is?” Steve parroted his words back to him, and it was petty as fuck, it shouldn’t be hot, but sue him it really was. And god damn it this wasn't supposed to go down like this, Steve was supposed to let him down gently and they would bury their friendship out in the back garden with the rest of the dead bodies. Maybe dig it up at Christmas or if the kids lived long enough to get married or have kids of their own. And now Steve of all people was getting mad at him over it?

He wasn’t in Kansas anymore that was for sure, Dorothy sure picked her friends, Steve hadn’t even been on his radar.

It was almost a shame when the other man deflated.

Angry Steve for lack of a better word, hot, maybe not as hot as weapon flinging bite the head of creatures of the damned Saturday night slasher flick leading man hot, but it was definitely something.

Finally, making eye contact after what felt like hours, Steve spoke again, his voice coming out sheepish

“Although, I only found out there was a name for it tonight.” he huffed “You and your gay agenda. Coming around here giving people labels…” Steve’s rage had spilt over into laughter now, hands that had been flying around gesturing had now settled, though he made no indication he would be moving from the doorway any time soon, “for the record I knew it wasn’t Wayne you were talking about.”

Eddie felt the laughter push the fear out of him like a pressure cooker blowing its top, his body shook with it.

“Oh no, the jury is still out on that one, Thursday night Franky could go either way…”

Eddie bit his lip. Maybe it was too early after confessions to make the joke he so badly wanted to make, he tried not to make eye contact, but he did and Steve snorted with laughter again, waving for him to go on obviously knowing where his mind had gone.

Oh well in for nickel in for a dollar…

“you know… a bit like you…”

Eddie’s face was splitting from how much he was grinning, he had been so scared that Steve was going to run for the hills; he had hoped that he was going to get out of this with his friendship intact; he had never dared hope that he would get a distant possibility of reciprocation of his own feelings.

He played back there evening in his mind, hell, the last five months… the touches, the turning down a sure thing, the way Steve was constantly in his orbit. The shameless way Steve had wrapped himself around him. The blatant way his eyes had traced his body like he wanted to eat him alive.

Eddie had never been one to want, but he wanted so much now it hurt.

But he would never know if he didn’t push, both himself and the question.

The worst bit was over with, the fear of being rejected for just being yourself.

He could just take a few steps forward now, he had a feeling that if he pulled Steve in now there may be trepidation but no rejection.

He made to step forward, hand reaching out to-

BONG BONG BONG.

The clock in the hall downstairs chimed, and both of them jumped.

Steve’s hand was on his bat in seconds, and Eddie flew to the can of hairspray and the lighter discarded on the desk alongside his rings. They regrouped back to back in the centre of the room guarding the exits and waiting.

When nothing happened, both of them huffed out the breath they had been holding,

“One of us must have knocked it on the way up the stairs,” Steve said by way of an explanation, heading towards the door alone, but a split second later Eddie was on him, just in case.

True enough, when they got to the first-floor landing, the grandfather clock that stood there had come back to life, its tick tock tick, incredibly loud in the night's stillness.

Eddie had a feeling Steve really wanted to take his bat to the thing right there on the landing, however, he seemed to be settling on glaring the thing to death.

“Clocks in my humble opinion can fuck right off,” Eddie said reaching in and stopping the pendulum in its tracks. Between the two of them, they lifted the weights from the pulleys and placed them on the trunk floor, closing the clock face, knowing that it would take more than a knock for it to come back to life.

If it did the thing would end up smashed to smithereens and scattered to all four corners of the wind.

“Well on that note…” Eddie made to go find his allocated spot on the sofa. But Steve reached out, grabbing him by the wrist and tugging him along behind him back up the stairs and towards his room, there was nothing in Steve's actions that left room for negotiation.

“Don’t argue, we're both too tired and jumpy, just get in.”

Eddie did what he was told. Silently in awe of the man who crawled in next to him. But not before quickly locking the bedroom door and checking the window.

Not that locks could keep the upside-down out if it came calling again. Although Eddie was pretty sure that the sight of a nail bat toating Steve might at least make some of the creatures that go bump in the night think twice. ( Eddie would probably need the delay because quite frankly, the sight of barbarian Steve was enough to make him short circuit. and now he knew they were on the same page, it was only going to get worse.)

They lay in silence, looking at each other in the low light cast from the desk lamp as if daring the other to fall asleep first. All while trying their hardest not to talk about the elephant in the room, knowing that following that train of thought really would change things forever.

Eddie was finally on the cusp of nodding off when Steve muttered something…

“What was that pretty boy?”

“Who is the fag and who is the freak?” Steve yawned into the pillow.

“I’ll let you know in five to ten business days, if not sooner, now go to sleep. We have hell to raise tomorrow.” Eddie rolled over and pushed the flop of hair out of Steve’s face where it had given up entirely. Sleepy Steve was everything he hoped he would be, “or had you forgotten that we’re hosting a bunch of world-saving super nerds hyped up on sugar, with no world-shattering interdimensional in sight, just your common or garden ghosts and ghouls?”

“Is it too late to cancel?” Steve pressed into his hand where it had come to rest on his cheek. If Eddie hadn’t been so exhausted, he would probably have had a heart attack over that.

“Oh definitely.” he made to pull his hand away but Steve chased it with his own, resting gently on top of his own between their faces on the bed, Eddie didn’t even try and hide his smile. “El will kill you, and you know she doesn’t mess about. And I kind of like having you about.”

“Well, that (yawn) goes both ways”, the soft smile was loaded with promise.

“Oh I dunno Stevie, I've had plenty of chances to shuffle you off this mortal coil, but (yawn) I need to work out how much of a freak you are.” Steve’s bed really was stupidly comfortable, he really was trying to fight the call of sleep, he felt the grip on his hand loosen, and blinking heavy eyes he wasn’t surprised to see Steve’s own eyes closed, sleep having finally won out.

Tomorrow, they had tomorrow.

#stranger things fan fics #stranger things #steve/Eddie #steddie

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

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Vader Tries to Help

People encouraged me to share the dead dove concept! Yay! It’s a horrible concept with an undertone of comedic absurdity in the sense that you keep waiting to see what awful, incredibly stupid thing Vader is going to do next. Like it’s horrifying but it’s also very dumb.

By moving forward into the fic, you acknowledge that this is intended to be dark and liable to be upsetting, and that you are taking responsibility for your own engagement with the material.

This AU was helped along on discord by several parties but tbh I’m not sure how many of them actually want to be named.

Warnings: Mutual Extremely Dubious Consent (forced by a third party), drugging, irrational behavior (Vader), nonconsensual body modification, forced pregnancy, imprisonment, threatened torture of a child (not followed through on)

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Vader captures Obi-Wan a few years into the Empire. Because Vader is Anakin, but even worse on the emotional bullshit, he decides that he needs to keep Obi-Wan safe but harmless. Vader also got Luke in the whole 'capturing Kenobi' situation, so part of what Vader's thinking about all this is that Obi-Wan tried to protect The Baby and so Vader kind of owes him, obviously.

Palpatine lets him keep Obi-Wan "safe," because threatening Obi-Wan is a convenient way to make Vader shut up and do what he's told. Palpatine can kind of tell that threatening the toddler would make Vader lose his shit and attempt to kill good ol' Palps, so threatening the middle-aged depressed alcoholic being kept in Vader's guest room with Force-nullifying cuffs is pretty good. It's an additional layer of emotional torture on top of the electrocution of Vader himself!

Vader has Obi-Wan taking care of Luke, mostly, because Vader has Obligations and A Job, and Obi-Wan wouldn't hurt Luke, duh. He might try to escape with the kid, but he won't be successful, and Obi-Wan will definitely put Luke's safety first, so that probably won't happen.

This is all fairly normal for a variety of AUs, granted, and not very dark.

But see, Obi-Wan behaves. He's aware of how tenuous the situation is for him and his charge, so he plays nice. And Vader decides to reward that.

By giving him Cody.

There's an implied thought process there that Obi-Wan was fond of Cody, and Cody was fond back, and now that the Jedi aren't around, they can follow through instead of worrying about some silly Code. Vader's nullified the orders to kill all the Jedi, of course, possibly dosed their food with an aphrodisiac so they don't try to talk themselves out of What They Obviously Want.

Now, we’re going to make it a little darker, because why not make things worse by having Vader try to make things better?

Vader somehow twisted himself around to encouraging them to have a baby. This is accomplished through a combination of Sith Magic and nonconsensual surgery, and lots of questionable drugs.

Obi-Wan just wakes up in a hospital bed with a womb one morning, and is informed of the surgery then and there, after it’s already happened. The droid telling him about it is just like "in the Lord Vader's infinite kindness--" and Obi-Wan just.

Anakin.

What the fuck.

What in the actual fuck made you think this was a good idea.

(The Sith Chemicals, probably.)

I feel like Palpatine would maybe even order the pregnancy induction just to torture them by proxy because that's like eight levels of Fuck No and he barely has to do anything except tell Vader that he'd like to see what kind of children a Jedi Master like Obi-Wan has.

Luke needs friends, doesn't he?

Obi-Wan is having some very complicated emotions about all of this because Vader is, in his own absolutely insane way, trying to help.

Anakin wanted babies and Padme wanted babies so clearly, if Obi-Wan and Cody are in love, then they also want babies!

Cody and Obi-Wan very well might not be in love. Anakin definitely could have misinterpreted. It’s probably more angsty if they're just friends who ended up in this bullshit together.

(He's taking baby fever to new and somewhat horrifying heights, because... he would adore Obi's kids.)

(His family button is suprisingly large for a mass murderer.)

Vader Kindly Informs Bail That Obi-Wan Is Alive And Unharmed. Bail was a friend of Obi-Wan's, telling him this is only helpful and will keep Alderaan from getting more rebellious out of personal insult. Obviously.

Vader is almost offended when Bail implies he might hurt Obi-Wan. He kept his son safe, he owes him. Speaking of, don’t you have a child? How old is she, again? It would be Good for her to make friends, wouldn’t it? :)

Palpatine is just like... sitting back and eating evil popcorn as Vader runs around, ruining people's lives by trying to be less of The Worst than before.

Palps barely has to do anything, Anakin's fucking it up on his own!

Could have been just a sly "Kenobi is so attached to young Luke, but now that you've been reunited with your son, perhaps he'd be happier with a child of his own?" Come at it from both "make Obi-Wan happy" and "protect your relationship with Luke" angles.

Vader: I can't have babies anymore due to what you did to me on Mustafar. Obi-Wan: So you're punishing me by forcing me to have them instead? Vader: No! Children are a gift that you have been cruelly denied by the Order that held us in its chains! Obi-Wan: ...oh, right, you're insane. Forgot about that. Somehow.

Big dramatic speech about how the Jedi Order spent so long making them take lives, he’s giving Obi-Wan a chance to create it! To put something good and bright into the world!

Poor Cody is like. "General, I am very fond of you but I'm having a million panic attacks at the same time because of the mind control, and also Vader is under the impression that we're in love and I need to be your stud? I wasn't aware you could have children--" "I can't. Or at least, I couldn't, but Anakin is... creative." "...what."

I don't want to actually objectify Cody in the narrative past the point that Obi-Wan himself is, because nnnnngh racism and clone stuff, so I'm going to say Cody was in love with Obi-Wan, and would have been okay with at least discussing the whole baby schtick if not for the absolutely horrible circumstances.

Like if the war had ended normally, and Obi-Wan had expressed a desire to retire, unlikely as that was, then Cody may have suggested a dinner, and they could have gotten married and then eventually adoption...

(Cody had a lot of fantasies he didn’t let himself think about too hard.)

But no. It's this... weird Vader-inspired bullshit.

I'm just so invested in Vader trying to help but making things legitimately a million times worse.

He wants to help :) Oh god, he wants to help.

Why aren't people more appreciative of how hard I'm helping them? - the Anakin Skywalker story

With less time to stew and also getting handed what he wants, Vader could absolutely flip on a dime the second he saw Luke being protected, and go from “I hate you” to remembering that Obi-Wan said he loved him, and now he must keep Obi-Wan safe out of debt and he just... he’s playing house.

Vader throws Obi-Wan a baby shower after the pregnancy is confirmed. Bail is invited, because Obi-Wan doesn't have a lot of friends still alive. Vader decides Bail is top of the Obi-Wan’s Friends List.

This is the first time they've seen each other in two years. Obi-Wan is heavily pregnant despite Bail knowing full well he didn't have the plumbing for that before the Empire rose. Cody is there and emotionally exhausted but more lucid than most troopers. Luke is running up to Leia because New Friend!!!

....there may be MORE of the 212th and 501st at the baby shower, with “kill all Jedi” orders revoked, of course. But it will keep the children safe!! And Cody and Obi-Wan can see their surviving friends!!

Cody: I'd be much happier to see my surviving troopers if they didn't all still have chips in their heads. Obi-Wan: I feel much the same. Vader: [404 error]

Bail and his family might be there at blaster point, but aren't you happy to see them, Obi-Wan??

Obi-Wan's endless trauma is honestly somewhat curtailed by the incessant need to facepalm at Vader’s bullshit

Obi-Wan and Cody both outwardly have a very "there are much worse people I could be stuck with in this situation but obviously I wish I'd had a choice, no hard feelings" attitude at each other.

Internally, Cody is suffering because this is NOT how he wanted his crush to be realized, and Obi-Wan is just suffering, period.

Cody: How did he even choose which of us ends up pregnant? Obi-Wan: He thinks I need to be protected, and that he needs to keep me safe. Cody: ...he does realize that you're better at-- Obi-Wan: Cody, he's completely lost it. No! He doesn't realize!

I feel like over the course of the year or two this plot unravels towards Palpatine getting murder-deposed and Anakin getting locked down, part of the driving force to Vader not being Vader anymore is that Luke actually really loves Uncle Obi and always starts fussing and going "Ben's sad" whenever Vader dismisses what Obi-Wan wants in favor of what Vader thinks Obi-Wan wants, and Vader can't deny his child anything.

Luke cries because Palpatine Feels Wrong like, once or twice, and Anakin goes “oh, okay, assassination time.”

#Obi Wan Kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #Luke Skywalker #Commander Cody #Codywan #Darth Vader #Bail Organa #star wars #dubcon #situational dubcon #nonconsensual surgery #medical abuse tw #forced pregnancy tw #nonconsensual body modification #Vader Tries to Help AU #Phoenix Posts #dead dove do not read #dead dove

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dont-be-so-shy · 3 years

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ok so,,, i think imma try a longfic abt the batkids getting stuck in the yj universe. except batman don't exist so they're not heroes (expect cissie and simon)

so imma introduce you to my lesser-known characters below the cut:

babs, dick, jason, tim, cass, steph, duke, and damian are people most people already know, but we also got luke, simon, wendy, helena, harper, cullen, bette, cissie, isabella, kitrina, charlie, olivia, tristan, riko, colin, and carrie

luke: aka lucas fox, aka one of the two sons and four children of lucius fox, aka a vigilante named batwing and ceo of his own company foxtech

simon: simon dark is a really small-time character. so basically, he was created with a mix of mad science, magic, and twenty dead teenage boy's bodies. yes, i know it's creepy. he has enhanced healing and the ability to use each one of the faces of the twenty boys he's made of. he can also do magic, mostly clairvoyance, which for him means being able to tell the secrets someone's keeping from him and see farther than the horizon. he also has enhanced strength, telekinesis, the ability to psychically link people (like miss martian), and the ability to dimension-travel. in canon, he looks a mess of different skin tones and frankenstein stitching but in my fic, he's gonna be looking like a normal(ish) boy.

wendy: wendy white, sometimes called wendy harris, graduated mit alongside her twin brother, marvin, at sixteen and became a caretaker of titans tower. she and her brother were attacked by wonderdog and she fell into a coma while marvin died. her father is a gotham villain named the calculator, who wanted the anti-life formula (i don’t what it is but apparently it’s really powerful) to wake her up. he was defeated but she woke up on her own. she's paralyzed from the waist down and she became babs' apprentice, codename proxy

helena: helena bertinelli, was supposedly the daughter of a mafia guy and his wife, but it turns out she's actually the daughter of the wife and some other mafia dude. well mafia dude (the bio dad) hates the mafia family mafia guy (the other dad) is a part of, so he ordered to have mafia guy and his family killed (helena had older and younger siblings, i think). he told the killer to spare the lady he had helena with and kill the rest of them but the killer done messed and killed the mom instead of helena. helena hates mafia and crime so when she becomes huntress, she has nothing against killing. she's actually still young tho, she left boarding school in switzerland to come back to gotham and be a vigilante. she's also part of the birds of prey and has been both batgirl and batman

harper and cullen: the row twins/siblings. cullen was attacked by his classmates for being gay but the second time he was attacked, batman and robin (i think it was tim) stopped the bullies. harper, who's insanely good with engineering, became bluebird with a few handmade weapons and cullen stayed home. in my fic, he's gonna be catlad, trained by selina, in the field and coeus, fitting the greek myth theme, when on comms

bette: bette kane is somehow related to kate kane, who's bruce's cousin and also batwoman. bette was the first batgirl but when dc rebooted she was made flamebird then hawkfire instead. in my fic, she's batgirl in the field and medusa behind the screen

cissie: cissie has no origin story which means i can still make her arrowette in a batman-less world. cissie king-jones is arrowette. and her mom wanted her to be a hero. that's quite literally all i know. she's part of the batfam instead of the arrowfam for some reason tho

isabella: isabella ortiz was part of we are robin under the name robina, and is canonically dating duke. in my fic, she's dating harper instead 'cause duke is dating cullen. anyway, she's poor and also, her dad doesn't know she was part of we are robin

kitrina: kitrina falcone is the youngest falcone who didn't wanna be mafia so she idolized catwoman instead. she was accused of betraying the family so she ran, becoming kittyhawk and helping catwoman and penguin. in my fic, she's known as stray instead

charlie: charlie gage-radcliffe aka misfit is a metahuman with the ability to teleport (she calls it 'bouncing'). she didn't wanna be a hero and she couldn't teleport with people without killing them, so when her apartment building burned down with her mom and newborn sibling inside, she ran according to her mom's wishes. she resurfaced as batgirl, but when babs finally cornered her, she gave it up and became misfit instead, tagging along with the birds of prey

olivia: olivia carr was kidnapped by the dollmaker and brainwashed into becoming part of his 'family'. when jim gordon was also kidnapped, he helped her escape and told her to give a note to batman on the gcpd's roof. she was later handed over to a gcpd cop while batman went to save the commissioner but it turned out the cop was crooked and wanted to sell her to some kidnappers so she slit his throat and ran away. she goes by mannequin

tristan: tristan grey goes to damian's school along with maps, olive, and pom and a few others. he's a metahuman with enhanced vision, strength, and the ability to "transform" somehow

riko: riko sheridan was also part of we are robin under the name r-iko. she was actually expelled from damian and tristan's school (damian was too actually). she idolizes batgirl, which is why, in the fic, i gave her the name black bat while cass is orphan

colin: colin wilkes aka abuse is basically a ten-year-old hulk with control over his hulkiness. he's damian's friend and an orphan who got his powers thanks to kobra venom when he was trafficked

last but not least, carrie!: she's technically from an alternate universe and was robin after jason instead of tim, then catgirl, then batwoman. in this fic, she's catgirl. she uses a slingshot

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botanicallyinclinednerd · 3 years

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*sigh* I entertained the cursed thought of Evil!Leon and now it won't leave, so fuck it: bullet point frame work

Warnings for blood, temporary character death, graphic injury, murder, attempted murder, angst with a happy ending, magic reveal

First of all this is also immortal Leon, because I could

Morgana is discovered by a patrol headed by Leon and he's the only one of the round table there.

For some reason or another Morgana is having a really bad life day and completely obliterates the patrol in her rage.

And for narrative purposes/ the man is very sturdy, Leon somehow survives the assault, but he's not in good shape

Morgana, in her full sadistic glory, offers a painfully dying Leon a second chance, he need only pledge himself to her and she would heal him

Leon, while chocking on blood, defiantly glares at her, declaring "You're wasting your time Morgana, I will die before I betray Arthur"

And at this something hardens in Morgana's eyes and she lunges forward with a dagger and plunges it into Leon's heart, twisting it violently while hissing "so you shall" before pulling it back out

This, obviously, kills him

And for some reason or another, maybe its a part of why Morgana is having a no good very bad terrible awful day, she sticks around the site of the massacre for a bit rather than immediately leave.

Which is how she witnesses Sir Leon, whose heart she plunged a dagger into not an hour ago, take a gasping breath

This, quite understandably, scares the shit out of both of them

It scares the shit out of Morgana because she knows she killed him, there is no way he's alive

And it scares the shit out of Leon for much of the same reasons, he knows she killed him, why the fuck was he breathing (he did not know he was immortal before this point)

And while Morgana is still in shock, Leon asks angrily what she did to him, why did she bring him back (while he is scrambling for his sword and to rise, because that worked soo well for him the first time)

Morgana tilts her head at him, a slow sinister smile spreading across her face as she replies "I did nothing my dear knight"

And it is in this moment that Leon realizes he fucked up

Morgana probably kills him again for good measure, to see what will happen, and sure enough, he's back again in a little while.

Leon is freaking the fuck out and Morgana's day just completely turned around because she has Arthur's most loyal knight, his first knight, and he can't die

To make a long process short, she kills him for transport to where ever she's hiding, kills him a few more times because she can, and as she does so she formulates a plan. Since it has become quite obvious that Leon was not aware of his allergy to death, Morgana reasoned that no one back at the castle would know either. And if she could control Leon... well. Camelot and Arthur's head on a platter was as good as hers.

Since her last attempt to kill Arthur by proxy through a creature ended poorly, Morgana decides on an enchantment.

I’m thinking maybe the spell has a caveat, the only way for it to be broken is if Leon was killed by another Immortal's hand, something Morgana is certain is impossible, and is sure to gleefully inform Leon of this so in his last moments of free will, his hope and spirit would break

When Leon returns to Camelot, he doesn't act strange. A little haunted maybe, but not outwardly out of character

He says he was the only person to survive the attack by Morgana, and he barely made it away with his life (she either roughed him up to make this believable, or he did it himself)

Everyone is relieved he’s safe and back home

Arthur makes a light hearted joke about how this was the second time Leon was the lucky sole survivor of an attack, and he really needs to stop scaring Arthur like this, he’s starting to think he's doing it on purpose

And in the first indication that something might be off, Leon smirks at this, his laugh much darker than usual, and he makes a returning dark joke. Nothing out of the ordinary, really, nothing that couldn't be explained as him having survivors guilt and being exhausted and in pain

And for a while everything seems fine.

Everything is not fine.

Leon is a much more subtle assassin than Merlin was. Much more patient as well. His first attempt is in a patrol in the woods, where he tries to catch Arthur off guard.

Arthur notices in time and fends him off, expressing confusion, and Leon pulls what he pulled in Servant of Two Masters when he finds Arthur behind the tree: awkward apologetic smile (much more sinister this time, his eyes are much colder)

He apologizes profusely, being a bit self depreciating as he admits that he was still a bit jumpy from his last trek through the woods and was on edge

Arthur accepts this and just tells him to be more careful, though ultimately there was no harm done

Arthur turns away and Leon frowns/glares

Maybe Arthur makes a passing mention of it to Merlin, asking him if he noticed Leon jumpier than usual, and Merlin replies that he hasn't really seemed jumpy per say, but definitely quieter and more closed off

Again, this isn't a huge red flag considering that he went through, but Merlin starts to pay closer attention to Leon, just in case

Leon seems fairly normal. He's a little quicker to temper, and his humor is much darker than usual, and his smiles are more smirks than anything, but he's not really treating anyone any differently

His behavior isn't suspicious, he's not in questionable places, he's just Leon with some survivors guilt and trauma. So Merlin relaxes.

When a mystery assailant keeps setting traps and ambushes for Arthur in cleaver and subtle ways, Merlin is at his wits end trying to figure out who it is. And he’s getting worried, as the last two attempts very nearly succeeded.

Leon is a very patient assassin. This drives Morgana nuts

She demands he meet her outside the castle walls one night when he's on solo rounds of the castle to demand what is taking so long

"Do you want him dead or not?"

"Of course I want him dead, I want him dead NOW. Stop dragging your feet and kill him already!"

And let me tell you, Morgana may have taken control of his loyalty and twisted his motivations, but she could never rid Leon of his sass

"Morgana, this is why you've never managed to kill Arthur. No patience. No attempts on Arthur's life have ever succeeded for a reason, I'm avoiding those mistakes. You can have it done quick or done right, I'm trying to do it right."

In the end, Leon had a valid point, as it was Morgana's impatience that demanded Leon sneak away from his rounds to meet her, and caught Merlin's attention as he saw Leon sneaking into the woods

Merlin follows Leon and sees him meeting with Morgana and every alarm bell goes off in his head. Because Leon despises Morgana, and he would never betray Arthur, never. Not willingly at least. So Merlin figures out that Leon is compromised, and all those near misses on Arthur recently that Merlin couldn't figure out the source of must have been Leon's doing.

Leon tells Morgana she just needs to wait one day more, as he plans to kill Arthur the following night. Morgana hisses at him "see that you do" and leaves

Merlin follows Leon back to the castle where the knight continued on his rounds, prompting Merlin to run to his and Gaius's quarters.

Gaius isn't happy to be woken in the middle of the night, until Merlin explains what he saw

"Leon? Working with Morgana? Are you certain?"

"Pretty sure, yeah. I heard Leon tell Morgana he was going to kill Arthur tomorrow night. Leon would never betray Arthur, especially not to Morgana. She did something to him, I know she has"

They quickly rule out a femora and eventually conclude that it must be an enchantment. One so powerful to bind and manipulate one's loyalties and will would have to have a very specific condition to break it. The only way to stop/ save Leon and protect Arthur is for Merlin to figure out what it is so he can break it

He does not manage to figure it out

So when night comes and Leon is acting shifty as he heads in the direction of Arthur's chambers, Merlin has to do something, prepared or not

He comes up with an excuse or another to get Leon to come with him, its urgent, blah blah blah

Merlin pulls Leon into an empty room where no one would be likely to find them or interrupt them. And Leon tolerates Merlin's rambling excuse for pulling him aside for a few moments before he's had enough and brushes Merlin off, trying to leave

And Merlin doesn't let him, blocking the exit.

Leon is still trying to maintain his cover, but his patience is finally beginning to run out

He tells Merlin to move, he has duties to attend to, and Merlin cuts to the chase. “I can’t let you hurt Arthur, Leon”

And Leon studies Merlin, nods, and breaks out into a wide smirk. “Took you long enough to figure out. What gave me away?”

And Merlin is thrown by the sudden shift in behavior, but as long as Leon is talking he isn’t killing Arthur, so he’ll take it.

“I saw you talking to Morgana. I heard you plotting to kill Arthur.”

And Leon nods, tutting. “I really wish you hadn’t seen that Merlin.”

And Merlin is in desperate ‘try to reason with him’ mode, which is obviously not working because Leon is under a powerful enchantment. And while it was amusing at the start to toy with Merlin, Leon has had enough.

All patience has run out.

"Merlin, if you do not get out of my way and keep your mouth shut, I will kill you, and do so gladly"

Merlin of course does neither of these things.

Leon attacks Merlin, and Merlin barely dodges the sword. Merlin is, understandably, pretty scared. This is someone he considers a close friend, a brother, and he's currently trying to kill him. Merlin tries to talk Leon down, but its not working. There is taunting involved, and some very evil smirks

All the while Leon is swinging at Merlin with his sword, coming very close to hitting Merlin.

The final straw is when Leon knocks Merlin down, stands over him with his sword to his chest, and taunts Merlin that he is going to kill him, and then he's going to kill Arthur, and there is nothing Merlin can do about it

Well. Yes. Yes there is.

Merlin's eyes flash gold and before his eyes can even widen in surprise at this unexpected development, Leon is thrown backwards into a wall. Hard.

His head hits the wall with a sickening crack and collapses into a still heap.

Merlin is very much panicking as he scrambles up and over to Leon, feeling for any sign of a pulse.

He can't find one.

Merlin desperately tries to cast a healing spell but its not working. Leon's dead.

Important note for the record: Merlin did not know Leon was immortal. Merlin also did not know the stipulation that would release Leon from Morgana's enchantment.

So Merlin thinks he just killed a man he viewed as a big brother

He takes this about as well as could be expected: absolutely horribly.

He’s crying, babbling definitely, the words "I'm so sorry" "I didn't mean to" "please wake up" are mixed in there and repeated a lot

And then, lo and behold, Leon woke up

Its hard to say who was more surprised: Leon or Merlin

It would be fair to say Merlin, as his brother he accidentally killed ten minutes ago was sitting up in his arms, definitely alive

But it would also be fair to say Leon, who decidedly was himself again, free of Morgana's enchantment. Which should have been impossible, save from dying at the hand of an immortal. So not only is Leon dealing with being himself again, but he's also processing the information that apparently Merlin is immortal. And oh yeah: killed him by using magic

So they are both freaking out

And Merlin stammers out a mess of words that boils down to "what?? How are you alive? You, you were dead, I know you were dead! Oh gods, you were dead, I killed you, I swear I didn't mean to, you were trying to kill Arthur, you were trying to kill me, I was just trying to stop you, I didn't mean to kill you..." and he's clinging to Leon during this, and is totally not still crying

And Leon eventually manages to get a word in and halt Merlin's rambling with an exasperated and slightly hysterical "Merlin, I'm not dead!"

"You were!"

"Can we focus on that later? Is Arthur alright?"

And now Merlin is instantly back on alert, drawing back a bit to study Leon's face, but still holding his shoulders. "He's fine." At Leon's sigh of relief, Merlin asks slowly "Do you still want to kill him?"

And Leon is instantly horrified and shaking his head vehemently declaring "No!"

And then he stops, thinks, and realizes he truly meant it. He no longer felt any distain towards his friend and king, the sickly poisoning influence from Morgana's enchantment gone

Which was only possible at the hand of another immortal.

Leon's brain is going a million miles an hour, his often misused or missing brain cells taking longer than they should to come to the obvious conclusion, but in his defense, he had a lot to process, and it is a pretty unbelievable conclusion

"Merlin, you said you killed me?"

And the guilt is right back with Merlin apologizing and defending with "I swear I didn't mean to!"

"But you're sure YOU killed me? Absolutely positive?"

And Merlin's starting to get a bit annoyed, why the fuck would he lie about killing a man he viewed as a brother? "Yeah Leon, I'm pretty sure. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it"

If this had been normal circumstances, Leon may have comforted Merlin, but these were most certainly not normal circumstances, because if Merlin killed him, that had to mean one thing:

"Merlin, since when are you immortal?"

What ever Merlin was expecting Leon to say, it sure as fuck wasn't that (friendly reminder that Merlin doesn't know he's immortal at this point)

So it is with very real confusion that he says slowly "I'm... not?"

"Clearly you are, or I would probably be trying to kill you to get to Arthur right now"

This is clearly the wrong thing to say, because Merlin now thinks this is an elaborate trick, and somehow, has come to the conclusion that this isn't even Leon, or if it is, he's a Shade like Lancelot was.

So Merlin scrambles to his feet, grabbing Leon's sword and pointing it at him. Leon raises his hands in alarm and also to placate Merlin (he’s still not used to being immortal and forgot that the sword can’t actually do him permanent harm)

"Merlin, I'm not going to kill you. The enchantment Morgana had over me is gone, you broke it" ("with magic" is screamed loudly in his head, but one earth shattering topic at a time)

"I don't believe you"

"The enchantment had a condition to it: the only way to escape Morgana's control was if another immortal took my life. You killed me, and now that control is gone. I have no desire to hurt Arthur or you, or anyone else in Camelot." I swear to you on-" he goes to say his life and realizes that maybe that wouldn't mean as much anymore and adjusts "I swear to you on my honor as a knight of Camelot."

Merlin doesn't know what to believe. He wants to, but he doesn't know if he can. So he makes Leon explain everything, which he does. Leon still has all his memories, though some of them seem a little distorted and distant, but still there are the same

When Leon finishes, Merlin puts down the sword, approaches Leon and makes him promise again. He does so, and Merlin finally believes him

He collapses into a sitting position next to Leon, looking exhausted but relieved. They are silent for a bit until finally...

Leon eventually decides its time to address the elephant in the room: "Merlin, how long have you been practicing magic?" It’s said in a way that aims for nonchalance and misses by several miles

Merlin, naturally, goes pale and plays dumb

"Merlin, I saw your eyes glow gold and then I was being flung across the room. That's magic"

And Merlin's still denying it, fiercely, and Leon has had a very long day and an even longer month

"Merlin, I'm having a hard enough time knowing what's real and what's not right now, please don't make me question this too"

And what was Merlin supposed to do? Continue to deny what Leon clearly figured out?

"I was born with it" is whispered, a scared admission

"I didn't think that was possible"

"Yeah well, I'm special"

"I could have told you that Merlin"

This is going much better than Merlin thought it would. He expected anger, yelling at least. Not teasing, as tired as it sounds

"Are you going to tell Arthur?" Is asked in that same scared voice from before

He should. Leon knows he should. As a knight of Camelot, it was his duty to uphold the laws of the kingdom, and magic is against those laws.

But it was also his duty to protect the king, a duty, through no fault of his own, he had abandoned and gone against. Where as Merlin did his job for him.

That and he could not deny his friendship to the younger man, the protective nature he felt for him

Seeing Merlin stare at him with fear and resignation, like he had already been condemned to death, Leon realized there was really only ever one possible response he could give:

"No. I'm not"

Merlin did not expect this.

When he sees Merlin's surprise, Leon gently bumps Merlin with his shoulder. "Merlin, I know you. You would never hurt Arthur, would never do anything to put Camelot in danger. Magic or not, that doesn't change. I would not risk condemning you to exile or death when you have done no harm"

At Merlin's pained look between Leon and the wall, Leon sighs. "I'm fine Merlin. I'm more than fine, you broke Morgana's enchantment. It was not... ideal, but it was the only way"

Merlin shakes his head "Leon, I didn't know. I didn't know you'd come back. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have. I killed you, using magic. How do you not hate me?"

"Merlin," Leon waits for Merlin to make eye contact, putting a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "Magic has saved my life, in the past. And as far as I'm concerned, it saved my soul today. Am I wary of it? Yes, because I have seen the harm it can do in cruel hands. But I also know that it can protect and heal in kind ones. How many times have you saved Arthur's life?"

Startled by the sudden question, Merlin answers honestly "I've lost count"

"How many times have you used your magic to protect, to save?"

"Always"

Leon ruffles Merlin's hair with a ghost of a smile on his lips. "I could never hate you for upholding the same ideals I live by Merlin, regardless of your methods of doing so."

And finally, finally Merlin gets it. He's not going to be imprisoned, he's not going to be outed as a sorcerer, Leon is alive and himself again and has no intention of hurting him, and Merlin doesn't have to worry about losing his friend anymore because apparently he's immortal and he is too but he is not about to deal with that right now (and also let's be real, he’s still going to worry about Leon)

It is with this that Merlin finally relaxes for the first time in a long time, shuffling closer to Leon and leaning against him, the knight putting an arm around him and pulling him close, each taking comfort in the presence of the other

It's a lot to take in, and it will take many conversations and explanations over the next few days and weeks to even begin to unpack and comprehend it all, but for now, each man was left with the relief and knowledge that they were safe with the person beside them.

The end! This is not at all what I thought it would be when I first started to write it, but I'm okay with that. If anyone wants to write this into a proper full length fic feel free to do so, I just ask that you please credit me and send it to me so I can read it!

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stillunpainted · 3 years

Text

Postmortem

cw for implied suicide. 1.8k fic under the cut baby. Pretty much Neku dealing with the aftermath of the game and then having a conversation with Joshua.

Neku couldn’t take sudden noises anymore. It’d always been somewhat of a bother, and his music had helped him block out the little surprises that’d make him jump, the startle like a lightning bolt, but now it was agonizing. It was as if at any time, he could be seized by the hand of death, freezing his blood like a blizzard. Though he’d made a promise to himself to wear his headphones less, especially in public, it wasn’t easy.

Shibuya was vibrant and busy, but it was also overwhelming. There were times where after simply going to Mr. H’s cafe with Shiki or Beat and Rhyme would result in him having to go lay in bed for hours afterward, staring at the ceiling until he was able to think again. His parents were worried. They’d noticed that he was going out more, and generally seemed to be happier than before, but the exhaustion, the anxiety, those weren’t things he could hide. He enjoyed spending time with his friends, but he wasn’t used to them. He felt out of place, worried that he’d somehow mess up and they wouldn’t want to be with him anymore.

He’d picked up an old acoustic guitar, and spent about thirty minutes trying to figure out how to tune it. That was all he could bring himself to do for the day. He checked his messages, and it was much of the same. Shiki had sent an update on her most recent project with Eri, and was still trying to convince him to try it on. He wasn’t adamantly against the idea, he just wasn’t sure if it was his thing. He’d had to expand his fashion sense during the Game, and he wasn’t sure where to go with that now. Was it something he wanted to pursue on his own, or did he want to be influenced by the people around him?

Though Neku had avoided Udagawa like the plague, he still could see CAT’s art when he closed his eyes, peering over him as he stared up at the painted walls. He wanted to see it again, as his mind could only replicate everything with a certain degree of accuracy, but the thought of going back made him feel sick, sick enough to rush to the bathroom and wait for it all to come up, but nothing was there.

The Composer often lingered in his mind, interrupting his normal thought processes. In this moment Neku was staring at the ceiling again, tapping his fingers to the beat of a song, when he suddenly remembered Joshua off-handedly mentioning that he liked it. Neku took his headphones off. He still hadn’t forgiven Joshua yet. There was so much pain, so intense that even though those bullets left no scars now, he could still feel them. He sat up, deciding that today he would face it. He wasn’t sure why, but felt if he didn’t go to Udagawa now, these thoughts would never stop, haunting him like old ghosts over and over.

On his way through Shibuya, he kept his headphones on around his neck, ready to put them on if necessary. He walked past stores he’d come to know well, absentmindedly trying to spot the faces of the shopkeepers he’d spoken with over and over. There were so many people. Even though he couldn’t hear their thoughts anymore, it floored him how they all were living their own lives, their own narratives that he would never be privy to. Their secret gardens.

It was a conversation he thought back to at times. He’d wondered if not being able to cross into someone’s garden was even a bad thing. Was trying to understand someone enough, even if it wasn’t actually possible? He felt he knew Shiki and Beat pretty well, and Rhyme and Eri to an extent. His memories of Joshua though… Joshua at times felt completely alien yet familiar, almost like a trick mirror.

Neku arrived at Udagawa, and saw that the art had changed significantly in his absence. CAT’s work was still there, some of it new itself, but there were other artists who had added to the wall. Nothing unusual, but the change made Neku’s chest feel heavy. He was used to seeing everything shift gradually, not only see the end result.

It was still beautiful, he decided, just different. Still the same wall, marked by the same kinds of people. He wondered if one day he would get some spray paint himself, though he had no idea what he could create. It wasn’t a part of himself that he’d explored in a long time, not since…

Even now, he felt the empty space within his heart. He still had the last message his friend had sent him on his phone. “See you there,” it’d read. An interaction that had never been complete, a day that never happened.

“Well, you’ve brought yourself back here, haven’t you?” A recognizably smug voice rose above the background noise of everyone else passing through.

“Look at what the cat dragged outta the sewers,” Neku retorted dryly. Joshua crossed his arms, but there was the tiniest hint of a smile on his face. Neku was tense, but this relaxed him somewhat. He figured Joshua hadn’t merely returned after what, months, simply to antagonize him. Though he didn’t rule it out of the realm of possibility, “what brings you out here, anyway?” Joshua put a hand on his chin.

“I was intrigued as to why you returned here. It seems like a morbid place to go by yourself. I thought that maybe you’d need supervision,” Joshua said. Neku pulled at his hair, trying not to visibly give Joshua the satisfaction of annoying him. Though he supposed that Joshua could read his mind, which agitated him further.

“I don’t need- whatever, it’s just that I kept thinking about everything that happened. I dunno if closure is exactly what I’m looking for, but it’s something like that, I think,” Neku shuffled his feet. He was never especially good at reading people, but Joshua was always a special kind of enigma.

“There’s nothing I can add to that. You already know why I did what I did,” Joshua said, “neither of us can take that back.”

“You can’t take that back. All I did was survive,” Neku said. He didn’t expect an apology, nor was he surprised by Joshua’s nonchalant attitude towards it all, but it still stung a little.

“Oh come on Neku, we’ve both made mistakes,” Joshua said, wrapping a hand around his neck. A flash of guilt washed over Neku, but he let it pass. He’d talked about it a lot with Shiki after the game, though it was still something he’d never fully forgive himself over. He’d found that he had a pattern of hurting people. He’d finally stopped at his duel with Joshua, but still. He wondered if that old self was buried within, ready to rise at any time. I killed him- “Neku? Locked up in that head of yours again?”

“What would’ve happened if I’d shot you?” Joshua didn’t even flinch at the question. But he wavered a little.

“I would’ve been erased. I would’ve lost that game, yknow. That’s how the rules are,” he says.

“I know, but-”

“The UG would’ve been destroyed, but I can’t say I’d know what would happen after that,” Joshua says, “I can’t give you a real answer, even if I wanted to please you that way.”

“So even you don’t know,” Neku said.

“Yes Neku, you’re a fantastic listener,” Joshua replied. His normal grin is back, though something about it seems off.

“So why would you do that? If you’d actually gone through with destroying Shibuya or whatever, it wouldn’t have mattered at all if I’d pulled the trigger or not. Not much of a crossroad, really,” Neku put his hands on his headphones, contemplating putting them on.

“It was all a game. My bet with Megumi. You were my proxy,” Joshua said, crossing his arms again.

“What were you even trying to prove with me? That I’m terrible and representative of Shibuya’s evils, or something? I was just trying to live and help Beat get Rhyme back at that point.”

“That’s spot on.”

“Then did your proof involve me shooting you at the end?”

“Yes.”

“Then your plan would’ve killed you no matter what,” Neku said.

“What do you mean?”

“No UG means no Composer, right?”

“Correct indeed.”

“So you were planning on dying.” A silence settled over the two of them.

“Well, I didn’t,” Joshua says. Neku thought of how he initially saw the game as a dream that he dreaded the end of. There was nothing he had to worry about other than missions, nobody to talk to but Shiki, nobody to nag him. It was the closest he’d ever been to whatever his own ‘world view’ had been.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but,” Neku paused, wondering if it was even worth saying. Joshua had killed him twice over, but still, “I’m glad you didn’t die.” Joshua narrowed his eyes. The Composer wasn’t alive per se, but even he knew that wasn’t exactly what Neku had meant.

“And that’s that,” Joshua said, turning away.

“Don’t think I’m going to take that as an excuse. You didn’t have to turn it into some big game with my life,” Neku said.

“Well aren’t I alive because I did, based on your logic?” At this point, Neku wanted to tear out his hair. Joshua was the same as always, so he didn’t know why he was expecting anything different. But surely something had changed within the Composer, as he had preserved Shibuya and brought everyone back to life.

“Dammit, do you even realize what all of that was like? You killed me twice, and- and…” Neku trails off, shuddering. Joshua’s hands ball up into fists and he stares at the ground for a moment, frowning. He almost seems small, completely losing the aura of being something beyond the fifteen year old standing in the streets of Udagawa, the mural hanging over his head. He straightens his posture and he’s the Composer again.

“I do realize. I’m not incapable of understanding pain,” Joshua says, “hmmm. Maybe that worsens my case.” He turns to face Neku once again, who wants to back away, but doesn’t.

“I guess it’s hard to keep going. I’m not on my own anymore, at least. Shibuya’s felt bigger than it ever has for me, and that’s exciting on one hand, but overwhelming. There’s so many places I could go, but I also feel like something terrible is always on the horizon again,” Neku says. He doesn’t know why he’s telling this to Joshua of all people.

“Could I be the cause of that terrible something? Is that what you fear?”

“No. I still don’t… I don’t know if I’ll ever fully forgive you really, but I trust that you won’t use me again. I’d be lying if I said being around you doesn’t make me nervous, but I still trust you. We were partners, right?” Neku says. Joshua tilts his head.

“Right, we were.”

#twewy #the world ends with you #neku sakuraba #joshua kiryu #writing #my writing #if i should add more cw let me know. it has literally been years since ive written fanfiction so im not super familiar with what should be #tagged

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project-rosewood-476 · 3 years

Text

This fic was based off the song "I hate u" by Simon Curtis and this takes place in the Every Rose Has Its Thorns (ERHIT) universe. This is a side fic and is by no means canon with the main story or with any future events in the story.

Tw: smut (but not the actual sex it's just very sexual and a lot of foreplay)

Tw: violence at the beginning

ENJOY

I hate him…

God, do I hate him…

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this…

But that’s how it always happens, isn’t it?

Those were Tabby’s thoughts as she was being pinned up against a tree in the backyard with the man that she despised. Holding her wrists up, body pressed up against her and his knee adding pressure between her legs. He looked at her with a mixture of coldness, cruelness, and amusement with a hint of lust for the younger girl. Tabby, on the other hand, looked up at him directly in the eyes with the most hateful, defiant, spiteful, lustful look to date.

How did she get into this position? Well, let’s go back a few months ago.

It all started with a mission. Masky, Hoodie, Toby, and Tabby were all put on the same team. Since Tabby was only three days in, she was brand new. So, the Slenderman put her in a group with the most experience, so maybe she could learn something. The mission should take at least six months, and it was to infiltrate a school and capture someone whos been trying to get information on the Slenderman. That meant living like usual and all together.

That didn’t settle well for Tabby and Hoodie. Tabby already didn’t trust the three as far as she could throw them. And after a brutal argument with Hoodie about him manipulating her and digging her heels in farther and saying how she will do as she damn well pleases. She realized that they were never going to see eye to eye, and after an argument like that, she can only assume that there will be more to come, which means that this would be a long six months.

The arguments started as yelling matches. Being raised the way that she was, Tabby was taught to go for the throat and attack where it will hurt most in a fight, whether it was a physical or verbal fight. Tabby had her stepdad’s verbal abuse to thank for her sharp tongue and harsh wit. Therefore Tabby always had the last word. This did not settle well with Hoodie. He hated how a scrawny, bratty teenager always got the best of him. It was time for his retaliation.

Hoodie was twice Tabby’s size. So he was able to overpower her with brute strength alone. He didn’t care if she was a girl or the fact that she was a teenager. To him, the moment you join the proxies is the moment you become an adult and become fair game. That’s when the arguments got physical. Hoodie was always the first to snap, so to Tabby, it was a fair fight and game on. Tabby is not the one to go down without a fight. So she’s just as vicious of a fighter as he is. Tabby may be small, but she’ll give you a run for your money. Hoodie may have gotten a bloody nose, black eyes, bruised throat, and maybe a broken arm once. But it was Tabby who is either face-first to the floor with him straddling her with her hair being pulled up forcefully in a tight grip or her being pinned up to the wall by her throat with his entire body pressed up against her to keep her from moving.

Nevertheless Tabby showed no fear. She exhibited nothing but contempt, hatred, and spite with a subtle hint of arousal. She always waited for his next move. Was it death? Or was it something farther? She never knew. Hoodie never hurt her too bad nor made anymore potentially sexual advances. He’d be lying if he didn’t say that he felt oddly aroused every time that happens. Just seeing her in a helpless state, under his mercy, while still having that defiant look to her? It was enough to drive him insane. He often had to go to the bathroom to ‘take care of himself’ after letting her go. He hated how the brat got him so riled up. It took him a little while to figure out that the little shit got aroused by that as well.

It wasn’t until he was training her for the first time while the other two were away that cemented it in, which brings it up to the” present time. He was somehow always put in charge of babysitting Tabby, much to both of their dismays. Tabby running on nothing but pure emotion and spite attacked him first.

“Stupid girl,” he thought to himself.

It didn’t take long until she was face first in the dirt, with him straddling her from behind, and he suddenly pulled her hair up with a tight and painful force. Tabby gasped at the pain and for breath. He leaned down close to her soft spot, which was where her ear meets her neck.

“You wanna try that again?” he whispered to her.

Tabby had to bite back a moan as he accidentally ground up against her as he sat back up. She struggled to control her breathing.

“Fuck...you…” she spat out along with the dirt that was in her mouth.

That was all he needed to go right ahead. Hoodie raised an eyebrow and got off of her.

“Are you sure about that? Is that what you really want?” he stated, darkly moving towards her.

Tabby scrambled to get up and brush herself off before moving backward, trying to get away from him. Her eyes were wide in suspense, and he daresay a hint of fear. Her eyes quickly darted from one area to another, looking for a way out. But there wasn’t any. She let out a squeak; she felt her back hit the tree in the backyard that they’re in. The backyard was fenced in highly, so it was almost like they were secluded.

She was utterly alone.

Hoodie planned to take full advantage of that. God, she looked so cute, being in fear and having nowhere else to go. Completely helpless and at his mercy. He walked towards her with a dark predatory grin spreading across his face.

“What makes you say that?” she said shakily with defiance in her voice.

Hoodie moved with the speed of a viper. He had her wrists pinned up above her head, one knee between her thighs so she was on his and his entire body pressed against her. Tabby sucked in a breath.

“Oh, I think that you know perfectly well what I mean,” hissed Hoodie in his low voice. Tabby looked at him wide-eyed, clearly unsure where this was going.

“Always starting fights with me…,” he trailed off and lifted his hand to touch the top of Tabby’s head and moved down to the shape of her face. Tabby flinched at first before being surprised at his gentle touch.

“Always fighting back and never doing what you’re told....,” his voice lowered and became softer as he gently caressed her cheekbones before touching her lips, parting them with his thumb, and Tabby whimpered as she lightly bit down in submission. She looked down, embarrassed with her half-lidded eyes. She then let out a stifled moan as she tried to shift her position so she wouldn’t be as uncomfortable, but she wasn’t expecting to be so sensitive when she accidentally grind up his thigh and then slowly slid back down in a fruitless attempt. Hoodie had to bite back a groan at the beautiful sight before him. Tabby being completely helpless and under his control and her squirming around rubbing up in certain areas was not helping him out either. Hoodie was surprised at how submissive Tabby was; he expected more of a fight.

“Hm?” said Hoodie as he roughly grabbed Tabby’s chin, slightly squishing her cheeks together making her look at him.

“In my defense”, she said through squished cheeks and narrowed her undeniably lustful eyes,” you start shit with me...I just finish it.”

“Fair enough. But I think it’s time that you learn your place”, said Hoodie.

Hoodie crashed his lips into hers that he was most definitely bruising hers while adding more pressure between her legs. Tabby let out a moan of pain and pleasure; she ground up his thigh slowly, then feverishly. Hoodie couldn’t help but break his composure but moan into the makeout session at the building friction. He ran his hands all over her body harshly to bruise her and bit her as well, leaving marks. Tabby moaned again and whimpered. It was like she was forced to drink cup after cup of his contempt.

But then again, he was forced to drink cup after cup of hers as well.

Tabby decided to get even with him. With both of them running on lust, his grip on her arms became lackadaisical, so she managed to get one of her arms free. She grabbed what fistful of his hair that she could and bring him closer to her pressing her entire body against him and grinding up wherever she could to gain more friction for the both of them. She did it harshly to leave both of their bodies aching later. She bit at his lips to bruise them and draw blood. She left nail marks, bite marks, and scratch marks on wherever skin was exposed. That was sure to leave his skin raw later. They were both moaning messes with Tabby's growing ever so louder.

Then they heard the sound of a car pulling up and parking, with the classic noises of the car doors slamming and the beeping of the keys. Masky and Toby were home.

Hoodie pulled away and dropped her. Tabby let out a yelp as he dropped her.

“Hey, what the hell!”, said Tabby still on all fours.

“The boys are home. Do you really want them to see us like this?” asked Hoodie as if nothing happened.

Tabby shook her head no.

“That’s what I thought,” said Hoodie as he walked back towards the house.

“But now I know what you’re into, and that’s very useful to use against you,” said Hoodie as he looked over his shoulder at her with the most sadistic smile before disappearing into the house.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!”, screamed Tabby but he couldn’t hear her.

She took a few minutes to get her breathing back to normal and to recompose herself before standing up and fixing herself.

“I hate you,” she said in thought as she ran to catch up with them.

#tw smut #tw violence #every rose has its thorn #erhit au #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #original character #tabbyanderson #tabby #hoody marble hornets #brian thomas #ticci toby #toby rogers #masky marble hornets #tim wright

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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years

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I don't know if you take requests for your ocs but can I get some Theo/Pigman Content??

Theo Kolinsky Headcanons

yes ofc I can, he's my baby and almost everyone on quotev hates him.

To be completely fair, I made him to be hated. Like, genuinely he's my most asshole OC. I needed a dick, and Theo was it.

SO who is this man for those of you who have no idea wtf I'm on about?

Honestly I'm copy and pasting from my quotev book.

Honestly a jerk, but you get used to him. Also made him for From Where the Land Meets the Sea. I liked his character so here he is - pig man. 30 years old, like 5'9 and the second shortest out of their group. He cares about his group but not to the levels of Wallace. He sees Nyein as lesser and would prioritize the proxies in his group, but Nyein over outsiders - proxies and independents alike. His voice isn't too deep or too high, just somewhere in the middle but he talks way too fast. Doesn't care about your feelings, will tell you to shut up without any second thought. He's a spark waiting to go up.

Sarcastic, rude, out there and generally has little regard for anyone else but proxies. He's not terrible though, he's a surprisingly good strategist and gets the job done when others fail. He's Wallace's right hand and will often act as an advisor for the older proxy. Theo also speaks Polish! When he doesn't want Nyein or Ruth to know what he's saying, he'll switch to Polish because at least Wallace can understand him.

Who knows when he joined the proxy lifestyle, only that he did and bounced in some groups for a while before being placed with Wallace. They were partners for quite some time before Nyein was welcomed in. Wallace accepted Nyein fast but Theo never did. It's not that he doesn't like Nyein, but he doesn't like them due to the fact they were once an Outlier. Also sees Nyein much more as an animal than anything else. When Ruth came in, Theo didn't mind her as much but there's definitely a rivalry or something going on. After all, he did let her stitch his mask.

SO, with all that out of the way, let's get into some things with Theo. He knows he's the right hand for a reason, very cocky because of that.

He's actually pretty intelligent and perceptive, he just doesn't show it so he can use the element of surprise. He likes those 'gotcha' moments with people he especially doesn't like.

He will rile you up just because he can.

However, he's also a really good friend once you get past his front of "haha I'm a dick."

He will tell you what you NEED to hear. If he thinks your partner sucks and you need to get out he will tell you. Also vibe checks you like crazy.

I'm serious there's like, no bs with him or literally all bs.

He's really fun to hang out with because he has high energy and is always ready to get up and go. He likes to adventure and get in trouble while he's out it.

Please play drinking games with him. He doesn't smoke, doesn't get high, doesn't do any other drugs, but the man drinks.

He's also super protective of his friends.

Protective of his group.

Like, I've gotten into it before, but Theo prioritizes Wallace and Ruth over Nyein, but Nyein over anyone else - proxies and independents alike because they're all in a group.

He's a pretty loyal guy.

Plays guitar.

Likes poetry but wouldn't tell anyone.

Often speaks in Polish to himself and to Wallace.

Has a strong soft spot for dogs.

Though there's like one cat that somehow follows him wherever he is that has taken a shine to him that won't leave him alone.

He doesn't enjoy mornings but he's not adverse to them either.

He likes both the city and the woods, but has a slight preference for the city.

He wants to learn violin.

He has a voice similar to Delsin Rowe!

If I had to mark him down as a zodiac sign?? He's probably a Pisces lmfao.

He actually doesn't like driving and will 9/10 make it Ruth, Nyein or Wallace's problem.

He doesn't know why the pig mask became his thing he just saw it in a Halloween store and liked it. That's literally it like, whatever that's cool.

He will call you nicknames you hate just to make you mad.

He's surprisingly verbose when he wants to be.

Can actually handle his anger relatively well.

He doesn't even like pigs.

Doesn't even eat them.

He will do stupid things to get your attention, both platonically and romantically.

He likes heavy metal and grunge music.

Don’t let anyone know this but he got weirdly attached to the my little pony theme song for a while.

His only artistic gift is that guitar and nothing else.

Theo is prone to pushing everyone’s buttons to see what they’re capable of and their restraint. He’s analyzing you in his own way. You need to show him you’re not an airhead.

His favorite season is summer. He doesn’t know why. Probably because the days are longer.

There’s an afternoon vibe with him though.

He likes to walk and to run to places.

Theo is big on exercise!

He goes through times of extreme silence. It’s not that he wants to, he just doesn’t have anything to say and is processing.

He really like Slender Man because he genuinely enjoys killing. However, he tends to falter on weaker figures like the children.

There’s only two proxies he actually likes, Wallace and Ruth. He tolerates Nyein. The others? Doesn’t care about them, they’re not his concern.

Unlike wallace, he doesn’t harbor some odd hatred for Masky.

He can get along with other groups just fine. He’s not always a train wreck and can be good at communication and teamwork with teammates that aren’t inherently his. You just need to know that if he had to prioritize his group or yours, he’s always choosing his.

He likes black coffee.

He still has a soft spot for traditional Polish cooking. Can he cook it? Sometimes,,,,

He likes the feeling of the world right after it’s rained.

He’s actually no where near as tired as Ruth and Wallace are. Normally well rested and ready to go.

He doesn’t really trust anyone else as deeply as he trusts Wallace. For a longtime, it was just the two of them as partners. It took him a while to really trust Ruth and even longer for him to even tolerate and trust Nyein.

Wallace keeps him sane tbh. Reels him back in and acts as a moral compass whenever his is skewed past what proxies consider normal.

If you are his friend or someone he deems important, he’s going to treat you well. Still an asshole, but well.

You’d get special treatment over anyone else.

Theo is the kind of guy to get you food because you called over being vaguely upset while sitting on the hood of a car talking about how much things suck.

He’s just rough around the edges Y’know,,,,,,

You’ll always be laughing around him though.

#OC #original character #creepypasta oc #proxy oc #My oc #Theo Kolinsky #creepypasta original character

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kitkatt0430 · 3 years

Text

the flash and the problem of the pointless sacrifice

It starts at the end of season one. Eddie Thawne picks up his gun and shoots himself, dying to protect Iris, Barry, and the rest from his dangerous descendent Eobard Thawne.

Season two ends with its reversal, Barry creating the Flashpoint Timeline that, though its eventually set back to 'normal-ish', leaves a time remnant of Eobard Thawne alive and well (if running scared from the Black Flash/Hunter Zolomon as a speed zombie) to wreak havoc once more.

And I get it. The Reverse Flash is one of the Flash's most iconic villains - killing him off in season one couldn't be permanent. But apparently Eddie's suicide could be and the message that sends is... unfortunate.

Eddie is an extremely kindhearted person and we see that about him again and again throughout season one. He always has a smile for the people he cares about and he's an absolutely terrible liar. But we also know that he was bullied as a child/teen and since he never brings up the subject of his own family, it's likely he doesn't have a support structure outside of Central City. And the support structure he does gain in Central City was Barry's support structure first. There's not a single person we see Eddie spend time with in season one that didn't know Barry first.

And that's a big part of what wears him down over the course of the season. When both Barry and Eddie need support, Barry gets it first. Barry's secrets are treated as something Eddie has to prioritize over his relationship with Iris. Barry's loved Iris longer than Eddie's known her and while Iris loves Eddie, she also loves Barry and she's infatuated with the Flash - not realizing he's Barry's alter ego. Over the course of the season, Eddie constantly tries to connect with Barry and Barry constantly holds back. Their relationship is never equal. And that's what leaves Eddie open to Eobard's manipulations with the future news article.

And Eddie tries to make his own future with Iris anyway. But even with Iris accepting his proposal, Joe makes it clear he'll never truly accept their relationship and Eddie's sense of self worth is at an all time low. And that's the state of mind he's in during the fight in the pipeline. When Barry chooses not to let Eobard go after all, it puts them all in a position of potentially having to deal with this fight between the two speedsters just... never ending. It puts Iris in danger because Barry cares about her and because while Eddie is Eobard's ancestor... Iris isn't. From Eobard's point of view, Eddie's the only one who isn't expendable and from Eddie's point of view... he's the only one who is expendable.

His answer is suicide. And his death immediately erases Eobard from the timeline, but its also implied to have contributed to the re-emergence of the singularity. But at least Eobard was dead.

At least, until Barry created Flashpoint at the end of season 2. Presumably Eddie was alive in Flashpoint, but we never see him. Maybe he stays in Keystone instead of transferring to Central City. Never meets Iris. Never gets worn down to feel like he's not good enough. Never kills himself.

When Flashpoint is reset, Eddie's dead again but now his sacrifice has been rendered moot because Eobard's still alive as a time remnant.

It sets a rather nasty precedent for the show.

Season two also ends with a suicide. This time it's Barry's.

Much like Eddie the year before, Barry's been worn down. He had his place in his family's come into question, with Henry leaving at the start of the season and Wally's arrival midway through the season. His back is literally broken by the stress of fighting Zoom and despite everything he's suffered for the city, his honor is called into question the instant a different speedster takes to thievery. He has to give up his speed to protect Wally only for that to immediately put Caitlin in danger. His colleagues are brutally murdered by Zoom to teach him a lesson. His father finally comes back for good, only to be murdered in the same place as Barry's mother.

Honestly, there is no question (to my mind anyway) that Barry's suicidal at the end of the season. And because Barry his time remnants are fundamentally the same person at the moment of their split, the time remnant Barry creates is suicidal as well.

That time remnant tears himself apart to stop Zoom's plan to destroy the multi-verse. His very existence also lures in the Time Wraiths that take Zoom away, transforming him into the mindless Black Flash. All at the cost of a version of Barry killing himself, going unlamented and forgotten. But at least the multi-verse was safe.

Until the Red Skies Crisis when the multi-verse is actually destroyed and rebooted.

Another sacrifice rendered pointless.

HR does not kill himself in season three. But he deliberately places himself in a position to be killed in Iris' place. He arrives on the heels of a scandal on his Earth where he's been revealed to have been taking credit for someone else's work - with that person's blessing, but its still ruined his reputation. He comes wanting to reinvent himself, but from the start he's not the person the team really wants. They want Harry. Cisco wants Harry. He gets it hammered in that his strengths aren't appreciated by the team because he's not a scientist. His efforts to help STAR Labs are dismissed entirely. The only reason any attempts to help his museum venture succeed are because changing the future might save Iris.

It's not that HR is disliked, but he's left acutely aware that he's considered 'a bit much' and that he's always going to come second to the people he puts first. In fact, Tracy's probably the only one who truly and completely appreciates HR as he is.

So HR swaps places with Iris, knowing that he's going to die when he does. And while HR doesn't kill himself, there's an argument to be made that what he did was still suicide by proxy.

And this is a sacrifice that sticks, because Iris West is the love interest. She's never going to be killed off for real.

Three seasons ending with a suicidal sacrifice. And only one of them doesn't have that sacrifice reversed or nullified. Unfortunately, that's not the end of it either.

Harry leaves his Earth at the start of season four. His relationship with his daughter, which was shown to still be strong in season three, has somehow deteriorated to the point where she's thrown him off her support team and he comes to Earth-1 to reconnect with the found family he forged during season two. He's in the midst of a crisis and his understanding of himself as a parent is unraveling. And then DeVoe calls the other pillar of Harry's self identity into question, because Harry's genius isn't enough on its own anymore. He's not smart enough to out think DeVoe and his Earth-1 family is suffering. So Harry creates his own downfall, burns out his own brain trying to be the smartest. And he sacrifices his last moments of lucidity to find the answer to stopping DeVoe. In doing so, Harry puts Barry in the position to save Ralph's life.

But DeVoe still gets the last laugh when he causes the STAR Labs satellite to come falling down, nearly destroying the city and creating Cicada in the process.

But unlike previous seasons, Harry doesn't die. He gets some of his intelligence back and immediately gets exiled by the writers back to Earth-2 due to the massive problems with ableism this show has. But that's a different conversation.

Season five is probably the only season not to include a suicidal character who's kills themselves. Nora dies when she erases herself from the timeline by accident, but we know now she'll be back in the back half of season seven, along with her new brother. But one out five seasons not taking a suicide (or similar action in Harry's case) and painting it as a noble - but ultimately useless - gesture is rather... bad as far as track records go.

Season six has the alternate Barry Allen - implied to be the Barry from the 90s show - who dies in place of this show's Barry. To save the multi-verse and let this other Barry go home to his wife, something he'll never have with Tina again. And the multi-verse is destroyed anyway.

Season seven opened with Nash Wells, whose usual method of investigating mysteries and hoaxes led to the Anti Monitor's freedom and the multi-verse's destruction. His home Earth destroyed so he can never go home. He's confronted with an alternate version of his dead daughter, who can barely stand his presence. He begins to hallucinate alternate versions of himself and is possessed by the Reverse Flash and all his research on how to create a new Speed Force - to try to make up for some of the damage he's caused - points to a single conclusion. The only way to make things better is for him to die.

Instead, Nash's death immediately makes things worse. The artificial speed force is flawed and Barry destroys it in the very next episode. And while one could argue that Nash's death allowed Barry to save Iris and ultimately restored the original Speed Force, it doesn't negate the fact that Nash's suicidal state of mind wasn't addressed by the people who called him friend. And his legacy was immediately deemed a failure and destroyed.

While I wouldn't say the show is glorifying suicide, there's a subtle and incredibly troubling repetition in the story telling on the show that frames suicide as the right decision in certain circumstances. Even though what's being sacrificed for often comes to naught. And it's incredibly uncomfortable, seeing it all laid out like this.

I'm still really not sure what to make of it all, but I've got no doubt it ties into the show's ableism with regards to mental health issues. Because every time its someone whose mental health has been brought down to a low point who commits these acts of 'sacrifice' and while the team grieves these losses... they don't seem to learn from them either. Because it just keeps happening.

(Think I missed something? Please, by all means, add on.)

#the flash #the flash meta #tw suicude #some of the story telling trends on this show can be a little disturbing when you take a closer look at them #discussing several characters on the Flash who commit suicide (or make self-destructive decisions) across the seven seasons #ableism on the Flash

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the-ship-maker-2 · 3 years

Text

Tw: smut (but not the actual sex it's just very sexual and a lot of foreplay)

Tw: violence at the beginning.

ENJOY.

I hate him…

God, do I hate him…

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this…

But that’s how it always happens, isn’t it?

How did she get into this position? Well, let’s go back a few months ago.

It wasn’t until he was training her for the first time while the other two were away that cemented it in. Which brings it up to present time. He was somehow always put in charge of babysitting Tabby, much to both of their dismays. Tabby running on nothing but pure emotion and spite attacked him first.