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chiqelatasblog · 3 months

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CHAPTER FIVE : I don’t want to know more about you. (But I want to…)

-> Ao3 link is here.

-> Chapter Four link is here.

Pairing : Sub-Zero / Bi-Han x Reader

Summary : Nearly a month has passed since you first joined the Lin Kuei, and as you spend time with Bi-Han, you started to realize some things about him and also about yourself.

15 years ago…

“May I join you too?”

It had been a few months since you turned eight, and there were a few other kids close to your age in the clan. When you weren’t undergoing martial arts training, you still attended noble womanly pursuits, as deemed by your father. The time you could spend by yourself was so limited that, at times fatigue seemed to permeate every moment.

Fortunately, there was an exception today. Your teacher, responsible for teaching etiquette, fell ill. Upon discovering that your afternoon would be unoccupied, you pondered how to fill the empty space. The last time you had such wide-open time, the wound in your throat had yet to heal. You spent those days in your room, drawing pictures, reading books your mother brought you, and indulging in the very activity your father despised the most: daydreaming.

Your father was a man who was firmly attached to a sense of reality. He was an idealist, he believed in reality, not dreams. He always talked about how daydreaming distorts the perception of reality, disconnects from goals and leads to the wrong path, so he never wanted any of his children to dream.

However, since your powers were discovered, you were left alone and as you relied more on your umbrakinesis, this isolation also fueled your imagination. Reality often brought pain, while in your own dream world, you felt safer and happier. No one could harm you there, everything followed your control and will.

But since your father changed his mind and decided that you should take martial art training with the others, you haven’t even had time to think properly, let alone dream. The moment your head touched the pillow, you were falling into a deep sleep. You couldn’t even have your nightmares as usual because of the fatigue. The rigorous training left you so physically exhausted that not even your subconscious could conjure the haunting visions that usually plagued your sleep.

It had been two and a half years since the wound on your throat had healed. Given the intense pace of the past two and a half years, it was quite normal for you to feel stunned now, unsure of what to do.

As three children argued about who should be the next “it,” all turned their heads, looking at you with distant eyes when you posed the question.

Unsettled by the prolonged silence, you attempted to ease the tension with a friendly smile. Being the grandmaster’s daughter had always created a distance between you and others in the clan. Here was no exception.

“I suppose you’re playing hide and seek. I really like this game!” you exclaimed cheerfully. The tallest boy among them—Wang, you recalled—squinted his eyes suspiciously and crossed his arms.

“Wherever the shadows touch, you will find us immediately. How do we know if you’re going to cheat or not?” he questioned.

“Yes!” added another. “We can’t trust you!’’

Panic immediately entered your voice.

‘’No, no! I wouldn’t do that. I promise you! My mother has always advised me to be on the side of honesty.”

As the silence lingered once again, a familiar sense of discomfort and exclusion enveloped you. When would you truly become a part of the clan? The first time you vocalized this thought to your mother, she grew angry, instructing you to banish such ideas. In her eyes, you already held a respectable place as the grandmaster’s daughter. Yet, both of you acknowledged the truth—the assassination attempt being the clearest example.

“Let’s let her play the first round. If we see you cheating, you can’t play with us, okay?” the last boy spoke, taking charge in a way that indicated he was the leader of this small group.

The chance given to you filled your heart with excitement and happiness, a broad smile adorning your face. It felt unexpectedly easy. In the past, with your brothers you’d beg to be part of the game, enduring insults, hair-pulling, and tripping that left you bleeding. However, you had outgrown such pleas, tired of the mistreatment.

“All right! Shall I start counting?” you said, eager to begin.

“Put your face against that oak tree,” the leader directed, pointing to the sizable trunk nearby. “We can’t afford for you to peek.”

Nodding eagerly, you placed your hands against the rough bark of the tree, burying your head between them. Your cheeks turned a rosy hue with anticipation as you felt the rough texture beneath your fingers.

“Count to thirty!”

As you counted aloud, the distant echoes of footsteps retreated on the dew-kissed grass. When you reached thirty, you excitedly turned around, carefully observing the surroundings. Despite the bright weather and the sun overhead, the residual chill in the air left it a bit muddy, marking the arrival of spring.

Moving forward with small, cautious steps, you searched every bush, tree, and nook and cranny in your field of vision, being careful not to make too much noise and disturb the serene atmosphere.

“(y/n), what are you doing?”

At the unexpected sound of your father’s deep, resonant voice you froze in place. Fear misfired through your heart, giving you the strength to turn around and face him. He stood a little away, observing you with his usual cold gaze. Although accustomed to that look, his power over you was evident. Your father’s imposing presence always scared you, making you nervous and timid.

It seemed the only way to please him was to stand next to him, as if you were a trinket without breathing.

“I-I was playing hide and seek.” you said in a voice that was barely audible. When your father’s eyebrows furrowed against your answer, it felt like your heart might stop beating right there.

“What happened to today’s lesson?” As your father approached, his presence seemed to crush the world around you. Unable to answer, your lower jaw trembled with fear, and your tongue felt heavy inside your mouth. His dominant presence often did more than physical force.

He never raised a hand to you, but his words were as sharp as a knife, and his heavy, dominating aura weighed on you. When he stood right on top of you, you tilted your head back, trying not to tremble under his imposing size. Showing fear was another thing he detested, a sign of weakness.

“I asked you a question, girl.”

“I found out that Mrs. Cheng has contracted pneumonia. When there was no lesson, I thought-”

“What did you think?” your father interjected. Although his voice sounded calm, the underlying rage made you tremble. “How many times do I have to repeat this to get it into that thick little head of yours; you don’t have time for this kind of nonsense. You’re not anyone’s daughter. Don’t embarrass me and our clan any more and go back to your studies.”

While your father practically pinned you with his eyes, the rustling bushes behind you revealed the children who were hiding. As your father humiliated you in front of them, your cheeks flushed with shame, and your eyes shone with tears that you resisted not to shed. Clenching your small fists, you bowed your head to hide your tears.

“Very well, sir.” you muttered in a bitter voice.

With a sigh, your father said, “Fall in front of me.” Obliged to obey, you started walking along the path to the temple. Though you felt the children’s eyes watching you and heard their whispers, you avoided looking at them due to your shame.

As the temple came into view, you saw your older and middle brothers, one year apart, laughing and pointing fingers at you. The pain in your heart surged, and you made a great effort not to cry. The distance with your brothers and the clan seemed insurmountable. Even if you managed to get closer, somehow they were still moving away from you. Swallowing hard, you swore at that very moment.

You were going to prove yourself to everyone in the clan, especially your father.

No matter what happens.

Today…

You were nervous.

It was the first letter you were going to send to your brother since you came to Lin Kuei. In the letter, you didn’t mention being poisoned and almost coming back from death. The first reason for this was to prevent your brother from starting a war when you had not yet gathered useful information. The second reason was that you didn’t want him to humiliate you for not noticing the poison.

So, without touching on the subject at the moment, you talked about your new life here and the closeness you had begun to establish with the clan members. Especially with Bi-Han, you started to communicate even if it was a little. Your conversations usually revolved around the books he brought you from his mother’s library, which you were forbidden to enter. Surprisingly, Bi-Han had read most of them, maintaining a secretive attitude but not holding back from making a few comments.

He was busy, spending almost all of his day taking care of the affairs of his clan. Even if you only saw him at meals, it made it difficult to further the small communication you had established with him.

Aside from that, it was much easier for you to get along with the others compared to Bi-Han. The only exception was Frost. The woman was as inaccessible as an ice castle, vowing not to talk to you. She was ranked in the top five among the most talented and successful warriors in the clan, and having her assigned as your bodyguard frustrated both her and you. You tried to initiate a dialogue with her more than once to make it feel less like a duty, but the constant surveillance was starting to infuriate you. As long as this situation continued, gathering information about Lin Kuei would be challenging.

Everything you’d learned so far was superficial. Forbidden from entering the archive, the only way to go unnoticed was to use your powers. To do this, you had to create the appropriate moment, but doubts lingered. Ninjas patrolling and Bi-Han lingered into the late hours of the night. A few nights ago, you observed Cyrax walking around with other ninjas.

After adding the last lines to your letter, you created a crow out of the shadows. The only shining place on the crow, standing in a black state, was its beady eyes, having the same eye color as yours. Stroking the crow’s head and under its chin, you inhaled deeply.

You could already anticipate the response your brother would send, filled with humiliation and pressure to accelerate your progress. But Bi-Han was a unique individual, different from anyone you knew, carrying a bit of each of them but forming a distinct persona.

He was bound by traditions, his clan was more important to him than anything else, maybe even more than himself. Perhaps the woman who poisoned you was genuinely innocent, but even that couldn’t be fully proven. Bi-Han considered eliminating her a reasonable option. Whether he liked it or not, you were his wife now, and you represented Lin Kuei. Everything done to you was directly related to him.

This fact bothered you more than the invasion of your privacy in recent days. You accepted this mission knowing the consequences, but facing the truth turned out differently than you hoped. On the other hand, your mother had always instilled in you from childhood that there is hope in every despair. Maybe it was a sign for you to look at ways to turn this situation in your favor. If you could find a way to take the reins into your own hands, who knows, maybe you could even change the course.

Folding the letter you had written, you stamped your seal on it and handed it to the crow’s beak to carry. Then, with a graceful movement of the wrist, you created a portal in the middle of the room, again from the shadows, commanding the crow with a nod to pass into it.

The crow quietly passed right through the portal after a few flaps of its wings and disappeared out of sight, and the portal disappeared on its own right behind him with its departure.

You stood up with another deep breath. It was about to come to dinner, and when you left your room to go to the table before the others, two ninjas waiting outside the door moved with you.

Since you learned about the temple’s layout, it took you only a few minutes to find the dining room now. When you got to the room, one of the ninjas opened the sliding door for you, and after you entered, they waited outside the room, closing the door behind you.

When you noticed Sektor inside, except for you, you said, ‘‘Good evening.’’ Sektor responded in the same way by making a small greeting with his head.

‘’You’re early today.’’

‘’I’m going on a mission to America tomorrow. That’s why I finished my work early,’’ said Sektor, collapsing into his usual chair. And when you took your place at the head of the table next to Bi-Han, you took a small sip of the water placed in the glass in front of you.

After what happened, you hesitated once or twice about touching something to your mouth, but after seeing the protection provided to you and the precautions taken, this hesitation disappeared in a very short time.

While the water refreshed you and slowly calmed the tension you were feeling because of the letter, you quietly studied Sektor. He had a strong physique like every other warrior in the clan. His long black hair was always massed in a tight ponytail, and his beard was neatly shaved.

You had limited information about him. He wasn’t much of a talker compared to the others; he had a tough stance and judgmental looks, much like Bi-Han. You had heard how fast and ruthless he was when fighting while the members around him were talking among themselves. One of the people Bi-Han trusted the most was Sektor, without a doubt.

‘’How do you feel? You seem to have recovered quite a bit since the last time I saw you.’’

“I am being well taken care of, thank you,” you said with a smile that you hoped seemed convincing. Although most of the clan still viewed you as an outsider, an extension of the enemy clan, you couldn’t ignore the care shown for your health and safety.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

‘’Do you think that woman was innocent?’’ you asked at once.

“What made you think of that question?” Sektor raised one of his black eyebrows, looking at you with a questioning expression. You took another sip of your water before answering, keeping your gaze expressionless.

“Tomas was with me that day, and the woman told him that if he wanted to drink tea, she could bring a cup. I honestly don’t think she would have made such an offer if she had known that there really was poison in it. I may be a stranger to you, but Tomas is one of you, and on top of that, Bi-Han’s brother.’’

‘’You are also his wife,’’ Sektor said, voicing the simple truth.

‘’Yes, but many of you have not yet been able to accept this fact.’’

“Ginger has a pungent smell, a logical material that can be used to make it difficult for you to choose the poison.’’

‘’Still, I really don’t think she’s the one who planned this. Is it right that it was decided to kill her before this was clarified?’’

Sektor, leaning back in his chair, drew a breath so loud that you could hear it. He put his own glass between his fingers, looking into the it with thoughtful eyes.

‘’Our clan is strictly bound by traditions, so the punishments used to be heavier. As a penalty for certain crimes, not only the person but also their entire family was sentenced to death along with them. In the event of an assassination attempt against you, it does not matter whether this person is innocent or not; the fact that they took part in this act is considered quite sufficient reason for their murder.’’ He went on, taking a sip of his water just like you.

‘‘My respect and loyalty to Bi-Han are absolute. After the death of his father, he made great innovations to move the clan forward. But sometimes he can succumb to his anger, and at those moments, even if we try to give him common sense as council members, he won’t hear anyone. It is impossible to change his mind when he makes a decision.’’

‘’Then what does it matter to the council if he is doing what he knows in the end?’’

From the way you asked the question, it was clear that you were really curious about the answer and trying to decipher the dynamic between them. A small smile appeared on Sektor’s face.

“Bi-Han can get angry easily, but he knows his responsibilities better than anyone. He is very strong-willed to fulfill them. Exceptions do not break the pedestal.’’

‘’So you’re saying that under all his scary appearance, he’s reasonable as long as we don’t touch a sore point?’’

‘’Isn’t it just like everybody?’’ Sektor said, the smile on his face widening a little more. ‘’I’m going to tell you a secret, like you, I think the woman is innocent. She doesn’t know who’s behind this.’’ When he said these things, he had made his voice too quiet for those outside to hear. You asked curiously.

‘‘How can you speak so confidently?’’

‘’I was present during the interrogation, and it became evident from the woman’s body language and speech that she had no knowledge of the situation.’’

‘‘And what is the secret part of it?’’

‘’The woman is alive.” Sektor left the glass in his hand on the table, leaned his chin on his clasped hands, and while he continued to talk to you without breaking eye contact, he maintained a dominant presence that held your attention.

‘’How so? Did you disobey Bi-Han’s orders?’’

‘’Partly. To be more precise, I can say I saved the life of an innocent person by taking her away from here.’’

’‘Oh.’’ You sat back, not knowing what to say. ‘’And why did you share this with me? You don’t even trust me.’’

‘’True, but I want to try. After all, you are part of this clan. Trust won’t build on its own, and I believe we need to start somewhere for this.’’

‘’So you’re extending an olive branch, are you?’’

As footsteps, signaling the arrival of others, began echoing in the corridor, Sektor muttered his final words before the doors swung open.

“There is no war between you and me, (y/n). It is true that you are a foreigner, but it is entirely up to you to change this fact.’’

As soon as Sektor concluded his words, the grand doors on both sides of the room swung open wide, revealing the entrance of the clan members. In particular, Bi-Han and the others streamed in with an air of authority. Simultaneously, a dozen helpers, deftly carrying trays of steaming, delectable dishes, entered through the opposite door.

The delicious smell of the feast filled the room, making you more aware of the tempting dishes arranged on the table. As the culinary delights were displayed, your hunger in contrast to the stress you’ve felt since composing a letter in your room, became more noticeable.

While quietly calculating which dish to choose first, you caught Bi-Han’s questioning gaze. He sat down on the chair next to you and asked in his usual cold, deep voice.

‘’What are you doing?’’

Although your cheeks turned pink due to the slight embarrassment of being caught, you didn’t let yourself down. You gently cleared your throat and threw your hair over your shoulder.

‘’They all look perfect. I was trying to decide which one to start first, but I’m having a hard time.’’

Tomas chuckled at your response from the other end of the table.

“I advise you to start with sweet-sour pork. The taste is absolutely legendary.’’

‘’You should taste the spring rolls too. I'm sure you'll like it.’’ Suggested Kuai Liang. He offered you a spring roll with chopsticks, surprising you with his gentlemanliness. Such approaches were rare in your own house, leaving you occasionally disoriented.

‘’She has arms, she can reach her own,’’ grumbled Bi-Han as he filled his plate with food, but no one paid much attention.

‘’Guys, you are all misguiding her. What you really need to try is Peking duck,’’ insisted Cyrax, pointing with his chopsticks to the dish he mentioned. Your cheeks warmed under the attention, marking the first time you didn’t feel truly uncomfortable with it. The interest and relevance they showed unexpectedly warmed your heart.

As everyone chatted and filled their plates, Bi-Han subtly added some tofu to yours without anyone noticing. When you stared at him in surprise, he looked ahead, almost pretending he hadn’t done it, assuming a guarded stance as if suggesting you do the same.

With the surprise lingering on your face, you decided to try the tofu first, popping one into your mouth. The taste was spicier and more bitter than expected, making you express your surprise. Bi-Han, despite taking care of his own food, watched your reaction out of the corner of his eye. You carefully wiped your mouth with a napkin, in case anything was smeared.

‘‘It’s quite hot,’’ you admitted. ‘’Very spicy.’’

‘’The dish you’re eating is called Mapo Tofu. Is it never made in your clan?’’ inquired Bi-Han, now fully attentive and curious about your answer.

‘’This kind of food isn’t cooked in our clan because my father doesn’t like spicy dishes. So, I can’t say it’s a taste I’m familiar with. I’m surprised that you like it too, frankly.’’

“Why?” Bi-Han focused on you, curiosity evident on his face. ‘’If you’re going to attribute it to the fact I’m a cryomancer-‘’

‘’But isn’t it surprising?’’ you interrupted with a small chuckle.

“No.’’

‘’The tofu I just ate was as hot as if it had come out of the dragon’s mouth. You can even spray fire with a few of them.’’

‘’That’s because your taste buds aren’t used to it. Also, according to your illogical understanding, then I should be enjoying tasteless and cold dishes that contain no spices.’’

In an attempt to stifle the laughter welling up inside you, you reached for your refilled water glass and took a substantial sip. The ongoing banter, much like the one Bi-Han had criticized a few days ago when he deemed your stargazing childish, mirrored the very judgment he had passed. However, this time, you opted to continue the conversation rather than shutting it down. It marked the lengthiest exchange Bi-Han had engaged in without sarcasm since your arrival.

‘’Yes, all these things you’re counting also align with your character,’’ you affirmed. Despite Bi-Han’s automatic frown, you maintained a calm, friendly tone without yielding. “Although, on second thought, you’re right; there must be something that feeds your mood. Am I wrong?’’

Before Bi-Han could respond, laughter erupted from Kuai Liang across the table. Tomas, Cyrax, and even Sektor, less overtly, stifled their amusement. Observing their reactions, Bi-Han emitted an irritated growl.

‘‘What the hell are you all looking at? Eat your damn food.’’

A muffled laugh rippled through them, and as Bi-Han exhaled a deep breath of icy smoke, the others refocused on their meals, avoiding further provocation.

The room, adorned with hanging lights casting a warm, soft glow, emanated a tranquil ambiance. A calm conversation filled the space, punctuated by occasional questions that allowed you to participate. Listening to their daily routines and being part of the camaraderie reignited an ache in your heart.

In your own house, women, including yourself and your mother, were barred from active participation in conversations between your father, clan elders and even your siblings. Speaking was deemed great rudeness, and until today, you had adhered to quietly eating your meals and waiting until they concluded. Now, the opposite experience left you offering brief answers, apprehensive of overstepping unfamiliar boundaries.

Fortunately, no one probed into the evasive responses, likely attributing it to lingering shyness. It wasn’t precisely a falsehood, but the unfamiliarity of this environment left you unsure of where the boundaries started and ended, instilling a fear of making mistakes.

‘‘(y/n),’’ Bi-Han’s hoarse voice interrupted your musings. Meeting his gaze, you wondered about the reason for his summons. ‘’Walk with me a little after you’ve finished your dinner.’’

Choosing not to question the motive, you simply responded, ‘’Of course.’’

Half an hour passed, and when the fruit service concluded, Sektor rose first from the table. Cyrax followed about ten minutes later, prompting Bi-Han to stand and signal for you to do the same with a nod. As you left the room after exchanging a ‘goodnight’ with a smile, the two remaining brothers glanced at you with curiosity and questioning expressions.

One of the two ninjas tasked with protecting you handed you a coat as you walked out the door. Surprised by this, Bi-Han caught the expression on your face while you quietly put on the coat that was handed to you and explained.

‘’I asked for the coat to be brought. It’s colder outside than last night.’’

‘’I thought you couldn’t feel the cold.’’

‘’It is so.’’ Bi-Han said simply. The fact that he did not take his intense gaze off you for a moment while saying this did something strange to your heart. You felt the cold like everyone else, but you were trained to be resilient to all kinds of bad conditions and negativity. Although you could tolerate the bitter cold up to a point, there was no need for Bi-Han not to know this fact. And you also liked the unexpected gesture, no matter how much you wanted to deny it.

Fortunately, Bi-Han quickly returned to his usual arrogant mood, making it easier for you to get rid of unwanted feelings.

“After all, birds can’t survive in winter.’’

‘’I’m sure there are a few survival tricks in them that they know.’’ You said, lifting your chin slightly to get a better view of him. Bi-Han’s eyes narrowed in a way that showed he was having fun.

‘‘We’ll see about that.’’

Bi-Han, walking in front, led you from the back terrace into the garden. The cold evening air took away all the warmth from your face, which was warmed inside. The air was fresh and the sky was clear. Since there were not many people walking around, it was calm and quiet. When you arrived almost running to catch up with Bi-Han’s wide steps, you curiously expressed the question you wanted to ask all along.

‘‘Why did you call me over?’’

‘’To talk.’’

‘’To talk?’’

‘’Do you want me to spell it out for you to understand, too?’’

You frowned at his sarcastic reply.

‘‘You could have talked to me at the table, too.’’

During your argument, when Bi-Han slowed down his steps so that you could catch up with him, you started walking next to him. A few seconds passed, and when you realized that Bi-Han would not answer you with a prolonged silence, you sighed, ‘’What do you want to talk about?’’ You asked.

With the question, Bi-Han’s hard, illegible gaze found yours.

‘‘About your family.’’ His brown eyes, very dark in the moonlight, went down to the scar hidden by your turtleneck sweater. Even though he couldn’t see it, you moved restlessly where you were, because it bothered you that he knew where the scar was. ‘‘And your past.’’ Bi-Han said after a while.

“And why should I do that? There is no reason for me to open my private life to you.”

“You are my wife, so it is important that I know everything about you.”

“Oh, really? Then how about it being mutual, grandmaster?” You used a sarcastic tone against him, echoing the attitude he displayed towards you a little while ago. “If you want to exchange information, you should also reveal something about yourself. It can’t be one-sided.”

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” Bi-Han stopped walking. While you couldn’t discern exact anger, his tone hinted at displeasure with the conversation’s direction. It made you smile at least he was beginning to understand that you wouldn’t comply with everything he said.

“Then you may suppose that this conversation is over.” You stated it in a polite but clear tone. Without waiting for Bi-Han to resume walking, you heard him talking behind you as you started walking ahead.

“What do you want to know?”

“There, if you keep on answering like that—wait a minute, what?”

Turning on your heels, you stared with big eyes at Bi-Han, who was standing a little further away, with a confused expression that showed you weren’t sure you had heard correctly.

“What do you want to know?” said Bi-Han calmly, repeating his question. He covered the distance in two big steps, and when he stood in front of you, you tilted your head back slightly and looked at him.

Normally, his hair would have come out of its bun, tufts disheveled and scattered due to the workouts and studies he did during the day. However, at the moment, it caught your attention that it was standing properly, as if he had just collected it. When you caught the smell of soap rising slightly from him, you realized that he had just been washed. He probably should have gone to the hot springs before he came to dinner.

The places where the moonlight touched his face softened his expression with a silvery light, while his shadowed lines were hard and angular. It must have been a cruel trick of fate for such a cold and arrogant man to be blessed with a handsome face.

“Have you always wanted to have this title?” You said, averting your gaze from his eyes, which were surrounded by long black lashes.

“Yes, I’ve been trained for this all my life.”

“It doesn’t seem like an easy life.”

“Success, as I see it, involves the sacrifices we’re willing to make. I grew up knowing that one day, I’d have this title, and I accepted that reality.”

You responded thoughtfully.

“I can imagine it’s a difficult path. Do you believe you make a good leader?”

The unexpected question caught Bi-Han off guard, prompting him to pause and study your face with furrowed brows. As you two continued walking, the snow crunched beneath your steps, your breath visible in the cold air, forming a mist. The temperature dropped further, the chilly air biting at your cheeks and nose.

“Are you making an insinuation?”

“No, I really wonder what you’re thinking.”

Bi-Han’s gaze was aimed at a distant point rather than at you. His face was again darkened with an expression that you could not read.

“I can’t answer that question, but I know what kind of leader I don’t want to be,” he said. His voice was unexpectedly honest. When you were standing in front of a snow-covered bench together, Bi-Han melted the snow with just a hand gesture, leaving it dry enough to sit on.

“My father has always remained closed to innovations throughout his rule of the clan. While technology was advancing every day, he was determined to cling to the traditional ways without adapting to the changes. However, history has shown us that those who do not adapt to innovation are always doomed to extinction. I want to do the right thing for my clan; we have the potential to achieve much more than it seems. Just being content with what is happening will lead to inevitable decline after a while.’’

“I don’t think you will experience such a thing,” you said in a polite voice, picking up where he left off. You were both seated at either end of the bench, with a space between you so decently marked that one person could comfortably enter. “Maybe I’ve been here for about a month, but I can see how much you put your clan at the forefront.”

“What kind of leader do you think I am?”

“Do you want an honest answer or-”

“Honest,” Bi-Han interrupted, not letting you continue your words. “Compared to most people here, you’re not afraid when you talk to me. That’s why I’m curious about your thoughts.”

It was true that you were not afraid because you did not exactly anger him. Unlike a segment that everyone is afraid of seeing and therefore makes sure not to even breathe in the same place as him, you haven’t seen the other side of him yet.

“I would say that you are an ambitious person. You are stubborn and determined, you can stand behind what you believe is right to the end. But at the same time, you are rude and arrogant, you do not allow people to express their own opinions. You intimidate them with fear.”

“I don’t need to hear their thought. I know what’s right better than they do.”

“It’s true that experience makes you different from them, but one of the important features of being a good leader is being able to listen to what others are saying. It’s not just listening, it’s communicating that’s the main thing. Fear is a compulsion, whereas respect is earned.” As your gaze turned to the ornamental pool in the distance, your next words poured from your lips as a whisper. “My father too could never decipher the difference between these two.”

Bi-Han looked at you silently with his chin resting on his clasped hands, leaning his elbows on his legs, which he had spread out from side to side. With this posture, his large, muscular body had shrunk a little, as if he was giving you space to talk more comfortably, trying to make himself look less threatening to you.

‘’What do you mean?’’

“Through fear, you can easily compel someone to obey you, but that person does not willingly open their heart, thoughts, or soul to you. Respect, on the other hand, is the admiration one feels for a person’s qualities, values, and achievements. Being with them gives you strength, they won’t hurt you, and you want to follow them wherever they go. My father was a tough man, and achieving the position of his right-hand man was considered a courageous task. That’s why they were constantly changing like the seasons, as no one wanted to be near him due to fear.’’

While discussing your past without delving into too many details, Bi-Han’s gaze was attentive, as if he was absorbing the most crucial fact of his life. To be more comfortable on the bench, you slightly turned your body to the side, leaning your back against the armrest, bringing your knees close enough to touch each other.

‘’It must have been hard for you.’’ Surprisingly, there was no usual condescending tone in Bi-Han’s voice, instead, it carried sincere understanding—an unexpected development for you.

‘’My mother was my greatest blessing. She was understanding, kind, and caring. In short, she possessed all the characteristics that my father did not have.’’ As your gaze shifted from the ornamental pool to the stars in the sky, your voice trembled with a longing you couldn’t suppress. ‘’I miss her.’’

At that moment, Bi-Han’s knee touched yours. His movement was so slight and imperceptible that, at first, you thought you were imagining it. However, the coolness emanating from him was too realistic to pretend otherwise.

“It seems mothers have always held a different place compared to fathers. My mother was a good person too. She was always a buffer between me and my old man.’’

Against his small consolation, the lump in your throat grew. Why did he start treating you like this? Everything would be easier if he kept acting as he did on the first night you got married. Instead of getting to know him, he should have remained a stranger, all these conversations and tiny gestures should not have happened. You’ve already opened up to even the slightest emotional warmth, and you couldn’t undermine the responsibility you felt towards your mission with your own hands. How would you face your brothers and your clan?

He’s your enemy.

When your brother’s voice hissed inside your mind like a poisonous snake, you quickly composed yourself and straightened your seat.

‘‘Sorry, but I’d better get inside. it’s getting pretty cold. Goodnight, grandmaster. Thank you for this little conversation.’’

Without giving Bi-Han a chance to say anything, you quickly got up from where you were sitting and started walking back towards the temple with brisk steps. All the while, you could feel Bi-Han’s burning gaze on you.

It’s a mission. You said to yourself. Keep your feelings out of your task.

*******

P.S : Their knees touched aaaaaaaaa :3

Tagging @mmeerraa ❤️

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solselah · 3 months

Text

What are their current

thought about you ?

PILE 1:

pile one your person is literally torn up over you. I’m talking snot in nose boogers running down crying over you ! It’s clear you guys are in a separation or at a distance from each other. They want to come in towards you but at this point in their life finances are not the best and they do not want to bring that energy into whatever you could have or did have going on ! It seems to me that they are indecisive about being with you. At some points they want space and on the other hand they want you to be close ! I feel it’s coming from confidence issues not feeling like you are truly there for them or won’t leave them behind !! You guys could’ve separated because of an Off the whim altercation or argument that led to bigger things ! This person knows you both have passion and chemistry with each other they can’t think of anyone else they have shared this passion with. Which is part of the reason they are obsessed with your energy ! They also feel like they couldn’t be with you out in the open because it goes against religion, or their family’s belief mostly about what people outside would say ! But they KNOW you guys have almost like a soul mate passionate connection and chemistry ! They feel like they are in between & can still see growth with you but because of those things stopping them from fully committing they rather long for you for the time being ! They could reach out in the summer time or even just show you at some point that they have grown and are in fact not the same !!

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PILE 2:

Automatically I believe this person could have manipulation tactics that they use to make you feel less than who you are. utilizing it to make you feel guilty about being out of drama and minding your business ! This person thinks the you they see , other people don’t ! They feel like you are a Wolf in sheep’s clothing ! They could have went as far as to try to call CPS on you for neglect or abuse knowing you would NEVER!!! They are very irritated by the cosmic light and forgiveness that you carry , They can’t stand how unbothered you are about certain situations! They have tried to egg on a certain part of anger in you but you never folded to the tactics! They may have even manipulated you into letting them in or back in the house because from what you know they didn’t have “much” or anything at all ! So you took initiative to help out and they showed and proved once again why they weren’t or aren’t for you !! This person reflects and projects their insecurities upon you and their children specifically a son or older mentee ! You are truly over it !! you’re kind of annoyed by this person and you’re just like what do you need from me !??? Meanwhile they want it all they want you to stroke their heart strings again and fulfill them ! They manipulate you and use excuses of not experiencing these emotions or feelings claiming “they didn’t know how to act”. That truly only last but so long !! To them you are familiar and feel like home so they revert back very often . But in reality that ship has sailed and you are tired of their emotional and mental manipulation it can’t happen with you ever again !! You could’ve also lost who you are & that alone forced you into isolation !! You are slowly building yourself up and i would truthfully think about a protection spell to protect you and your kids , Home , Car etc ! Call your angels in to help you out when you feel helpless if that’s what you are into & comfortable with 💚

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PILE 3:

So off bat this person thinks you are out WAY TO MUCH! Like they have recently started to feel a disconnect from you because of it ! They are it bit jealous you’re out spending your time partying instead of being home creating memories and cuddling up with them ! They want to spend quality bonding time with you ! They definitely come across clingy and kind of want to be around & up under you often. But I believe for you this is beginning to get a little played out and you’re starting to wonder why they don’t do certain things they like to do or indulge in things they are into ! So with that being said “you do you” you owe no book long explanation for your decisions ! They want you to surrender to how they want you to be instead of who you have been and already are !! They are in their comfort zone and could be a little Upset you are Living life on the wild side and constantly come out of your shell even when you’re uncertain ! They may even have certain dreams about how the relationship would be so to me it just feels like this person is not like …for you! They are potentially in need of a more co dependent relationship where they can be in control but also be secure in knowing you’re not going anywhere! Pretty horrible & Childish. So if you’re not together believe me I understand why ! I hear this also could have been someone you gave your virginity to and he just does not leave you BE ! Acts like a dad almost , wanting to make sure you’re safe & okay but with all the wrong intentions ! I would kind of run while I can ! I feel like there is a side you have not seen with this person. For you it seems best to release & purge the things that still impact you about this relationship or fling.

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PILE 4 :

So I believe this person feels like you have a pretty bad reputation with relationships ! They feel like you pretend to be the best but inside your Not that person !! They feel like if they wanted to they could black mail you just off of the truths they feel they know about you ! They have potentially offered you an ultimatum to not release certain info about you ! To this person they had expectations beyond what you may have shown them ! They may think you are masculine in the way you think and feel ! They want to see you in your feminine aspect all soft & In harmony (regardless of gender) little do they know you haven’t felt any reason to give them that part of you ! If anything you are doing them a favor and yourself a favor by removing yourself from the equation!!

Ps : They apologize for potentially letting you down HARD

“I’m sorry”

__________________________________________

Hope you enjoy 💚

IG : Soleccentric

#pick a card #pick a picture #love #spirituality #pac reading #tarotdaily #channeled message #truth #freedom #tarot #pick a pile #green

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alicent-hightowers-spouse · 1 year

Text

Ok so here’s the thing. I love both Alicent and Rhaenyra, but my love of them is very different. I think they are both extremely interesting characters.

But the difference between them for me is this:

With Alicent, I genuinely believe that she is a good person. Like everything she’s done I completely understand, and it’s always been with the intention of defending herself, her children, or Rhaenyra. But you guys probably know how much I love Alicent by now and this post is mostly about Rhaenyra so I’m gonna move on.

With Rhaenyra, I think she’s more morally gray. She’s done some things that I would definitely label as bad. I wouldn’t call her a good person. Honestly, I agree that she’s selfish. But that’s part of the reason why I like her.

The thing is, she’s a victim just like Alicent. It’s just that she’s less victimized in the show, and amongst her own fans. (For some reason people think being a victim makes you less of a girlboss, but whatever).

Just like Alicent, she had a crusty old man grooming her.

And Viserys and Otto weren’t exactly the same, but they were certainly both shitty fathers.

My point being, I definitely feel sympathy for her. And she’s not the villain.

The similarity between Alicent and Rhaenyra is that they were both young girls who were groomed and manipulated by the men in their lives. But the difference is the results of this.

Alicent was made to be more mature than her age. She was exposed to some very harsh realities very early on. And now she’s paranoid and pessimistic. So of course she’s scared for her life and the lives of her children.

Rhaenyra was made to be more childish. Viserys made it so that she never had to face any consequences. And Daemon has tried to keep her powerless and immature. And now, as a grown woman, she’s extremely disconnected from reality. While Alicent is overly aware of how in danger she is, Rhaenyra is incredibly naive and oblivious.

I don’t really know what else to say. I guess I just needed to rant a little. Basically the point I’m trying to make is that Rhaenyra antis annoy me because she was a victim and she’s not evil or dumb, but Rhaenyra Stans that make her out to be a saint also annoy me because she’s far from perfect, and she’s far from selfless.

#pro alicent hightower #anti daemon x rhaenyra #rhaenyra targaryen #antis and stans are both diminishing Rhaenyra’s character #she’s not evil #and she’s more complex than your idea of a girlboss #anti viserys i targaryen #anti otto hightower #anti daemon targaryen

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lumiellle · 5 months

Text

Haikavember Day 4: Inspiration

“Say, Alhaitham, do you ever feel inspired?”

Kaveh asks him this question unprompted. Their conversation had just lapsed into comfortable silence, the previous topic done. He blinks at Alhaitham, then his eyes flick back to his glass, red wine swirling around it as he twirls it between his fingers.

“Inspired?” Alhaitham asks. Kaveh’s question is too open, leaving too much room for interpretation.

Kaveh seems to dislike receiving answers that deviate from the intended meaning of his questions, though he hasn’t learned to phrase them accordingly, so Alhaitham struggles to find fault within his own way of interpreting these questions.

“You know, like when you read a really nicely worded paper and it makes you want to add to the discussion,” Kaveh says.

So it’s that kind of question.

Alhaitham supposes that he does feel inspired sometimes. A lot of times, actually. It started, if he remembers correctly, right around the time he and Kaveh met on that fateful day in the House of Daena. Up until that point he’d preferred to keep to himself, taking little interest in what other students had to contribute to class discussions. Even most of the professors failed to pique his interest, which was one of the reasons he stayed homeschooled and self-taught for the better part of his youth. He never felt inclined to engage in prolonged debates with his peers. They seemed to be living a different reality, and the resulting disconnect was too great for Alhaitham to want to bridge that invisible gap.

Kaveh crashed into his life full force—he was loud, passionate and intelligent. He still is, even though life has been unkind to him. Alhaitham knew immediately that Kaveh was different. He was like him in ways the other students his age weren’t.

It didn’t take long before he found himself scribbling away furiously in an attempt to refute a claim Kaveh had made in one of his homework assignments. He had written critiques of published authors’ works many times before that, but this time his heart was in it. There was something happening inside of him, a flame of need flickering incessantly where muted nothingness had been before, his pen sliding across parchment without care for all the smudged ink on his hand or the balance of his lettering. He needed to write. Nothing else mattered.

Kaveh had brought out a side of him Alhaitham hadn’t been aware of himself. His desire to interact with Kaveh’s thoughts, both in person and on paper, only grew over time. Where he was apathetic at best during most of his classes, he raised his hand eagerly in classes he shared with his favorite senior, and if only to nitpick tiny details in his presentations or statements.

After things went downhill between the two of them, Alhaitham found himself bereaved of all drive. Freshly graduated, he should have been actively seeking employment, but he barely managed to get himself out of bed some days. Even though he hadn’t felt like anything was amiss before he met Kaveh, it seemed that the spark of life, the curiosity Kaveh had inspired in him had left him in the same way Kaveh had left his life.

It wasn’t until he started noticing several postings across the notice boards around the city on his infrequent trips to the market to restock on groceries that the flame that had lain dormant inside of him was rekindled. The postings were anonymous and eclectic in terms of content, but Alhaitham knew who was leaving them. He could tell from the way their author phrased certain ideas, and he would recognize that looping handwriting anywhere.

Before he knew it, Alhaitham had pulled a pen out of his belt pouch and started scribbling his answer to Kaveh’s posting.

When he returned the next day to find a disgruntled reply, he couldn’t help the smile creeping onto his lips. He felt like, in a way, Kaveh had allowed him to step back into his life, even if it was unclear whether Kaveh had realized it was him or not.

If he were to be entirely honest, he would have to admit that Kaveh was indirectly responsible for a good chunk of Alhaitham’s early scholarly work. If he were to be honest, he’d tell him that he inspires him every day, just by being himself—even though Alhaitham doesn’t share his ideals, he respects the way he never strays from them. But Kaveh doesn’t take kindly to Alhaitham’s honesty; he has an uncanny knack for interpreting ill intent into his actions, or maybe a learned inability to take words of affection for what they are, specifically when they come from Alhaitham.

So, looking back at Kaveh over the rim of his own glass, Alhaitham says, “Funny you should ask. I suppose that recently, I’ve been feeling more inspired than I have in a long time.”

#haikaveh #genshin impact #kavetham #haikavember #lonnie writes #clenches fist #they are in love

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lostloveletters · 6 months

Text

Bruised Fruit Chapter 6 (Michael Corleone x OC)

Summary: In the deep, dark night, Michael fails to find sleep and instead wrestles with doubt.

Note: This chapter is from Michael's perspective, and that's why it took me over a month to write it. I'm so sorry about the delay! Also, CYO stands for Catholic Youth Organization. It was founded during the Great Depression as a (surprisingly progressive for the time) socio-religious organization. Many parishes have one, and they usually have sports teams that play against other parishes.

Warnings: Angst, negative opinions on abortion.

Chapter 5 | AO3 link | Masterlist

Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content. I will block you.

Michael stared at the wall in his office, illuminated in soft yellow light by the singular lamp he’d turned on when he stumbled inside, dealing with one of his regular bouts of insomnia after tossing and turning for the better part of an hour. He knew better than to hope to find sleep, but couldn’t bring himself to focus on anything in his restlessness.

Everything had gone well when he and Gloria brought Anthony and Mary to her parents’ house. Better than either of them expected, sharing glances of disbelief throughout the evening at how much her parents’ attitudes changed with the kids around. Before they had even gotten home, Anthony and Mary were asking when they could go over again.

Naturally, they’d been closer with his mother than Kay’s parents, but losing their grandparents, whether through death or cut off from communication was hard on them. Even though they called Gloria’s parents Mr. Jack and Ms. Julia, his kids had bonded quickly with them. It almost bothered him, how they took to Anthony and Mary with open arms, leaving him alone on his island of disdain. As much as he hated to acknowledge it, he hadn’t seen Anthony so happy in a long time.

He’d come in from playing baseball with Jack in the backyard, dirt on his cheek and a wide smile on his face.

“Kid’s a natural slugger! Nearly took my head off!” Jack exclaimed, giving Anthony a proud pat on the back. “Gotta get him into the CYO league.”

“Can I dad?”

Michael nodded, his smile reflecting his son’s. “I don’t see why not.”

Anthony turned to the old man. “Sorry again about your fence, Mr. Jack.”

“What? Don’t worry about it, Tony,” Jack said.

Michael had gone outside to look at it later on. One of the wooden fence posts broke, splintered in half. It was old and weathered anyway, but Jack brushed it off so nonchalantly. Even later, when Michael privately apologized and offered to pay to have it fixed, Jack looked at him like he was crazy.

On the car ride home, Michael had tried calling Anthony ‘Tony’, only to be met with an odd expression from his son. There was a disconnect, he just wasn’t sure where. Kay’s accusations of him not even knowing his own son that well echoed in his mind. His fists clenched. As if she knew any better.

“Here you are,” Gloria said softly, pulling him from his thoughts. “I woke up to use the bathroom and you weren’t there.”

His smile didn’t quite reach his bleary eyes. “Don’t stay up on account of me. It’s always one of us.”

“Let me at least keep you company. You don’t have to say anything.”

Wordlessly, he nodded, unable to find the words for the relief he felt at not having to brave the rest of the night alone. He watched as she walked over to the bookcase, a hulking, dark hardwood monstrosity that he’d paid moving companies to carefully bring to Nevada and back. But it had been his father’s, and he hoped, perhaps foolishly, its presence would impart some of his wisdom from beyond.

Gloria devouring newspapers rather than books left her better equipped for discussions of the present rather than the past, but as much as he tried to resist it, the reality that time was a circle, that the past was doomed to repeat itself over and over was becoming more prevalent with each passing day, so he supposed it didn’t make a difference.

She considered the books that were neatly stored on the shelves–mostly his, a handful of her own, and a few Kay had left behind. He kept Kay out of his mind as much as he could. Little things like that made it difficult. Within days, most traces of her ever living in the same house as him were gone, as if she were a disgraced member of the Politburo. As much as he wracked his brain for where things had gone so wrong, what exactly he hadn’t noticed before, none of it justified her killing their son. Mercy, she called it, while looking him in the eye and calling him a murderer.

Any attempt to hold onto love was like trying to grab a handful of water, slipping through his fingers and leaving traces behind on his skin like a curse. But water could be manipulated, controlled if the will to do so were strong enough—dams constructed against rushing waterfalls and rivers, canals carved out through harsh deserts and dense jungles.

His father had the love and respect of a sea of people, never wanting for it. Michael struggled to achieve that balance despite what he believed were his best efforts. Something had gone terribly wrong over the previous years, but he didn’t understand what made him so different from his father that he didn’t inspire that same level of loyalty from his own family.

Connie had come back, a welcome return despite all the trouble she caused in the meantime, but Fredo…He shook his head at the thought. Betrayed by so many he trusted–Fredo, Kay, even Pentangeli. They all jumped at the opportunity to get one over on him, to each grab their own knife and pierce him as deeply as they could. Poor judgment on his part, perhaps, but his father was never betrayed by anyone he trusted. Even Tessio, all those years ago, had betrayed him when his father was barely in the ground.

Tom was loyal, indispensable, his only living brother, but Michael could see the exhaustion setting in behind his eyes back in Nevada. If Tom was out, he couldn’t think of who would be his new consigliere. Al was his oldest capo, with Rocco being killed during Roth’s assassination, but he wasn’t a level-headed advisor like Tom was. As soon as he received word Tom was feeling out opportunities elsewhere in Nevada, he nipped it in the bud.

He couldn’t afford to have anyone else in the family leave. It’d look like his control was weakening over what he’d so carefully built from his father’s legacy. Since the move back to New York, he was able to bring most of Pentangeli’s and Roth’s dealings into Corleone interests, but there’d always be rumblings, people discontent with the way things were, seeking a suicidal opportunity to take power from him. If it seemed like he couldn’t control those most loyal to him, it’d only embolden them.

Of course, the part that he tried time and time again to smother, that made him weak enough to get the wool pulled over his eyes to be betrayed by not only his own brother but also his wife, took these instances far more personally, crying out beneath his facade of cold anger. He hated it. Hated how it made him agonize over why it was so difficult for him to inspire loyalty and devotion, why he struggled to gain love and keep it.

He glanced at his fiance, who’d dismissed the books on the shelf for the radio, playing around with it as she tuned in and out of different stations. He had asked her father for his blessing to marry Gloria as a formality, an offering of respect. Jack scoffed, shaking his head in silent rebuke of Michael for even bothering. A good Italian girl would never marry a man without her father’s approval, not unless her love for her beau surpassed her respect for her father. His fiance was far from a good Italian girl, but perhaps she did love him.

“This was your father’s office, right?” she asked abruptly, sitting next to him when she settled on a station.

“It was. But it used to be darker, like my office back at the Lake Tahoe house. The people who lived here before us brightened it up.”

“Are you gonna keep it, or change it back?”

He shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“I like it. Makes the room feel more open and approachable, not like you’re hiding away.”

“Do I seem like I’m hiding?”

“More often than usual, yes.”

“How can you tell?”

“I’m the one you did your hiding with, remember?” she said, smiling the slightest bit.

He snickered. “Guess it does take one to know one.”

There was nowhere for them to hide anymore, though. A respectable couple, living together, soon under the blessing of the Catholic Church in holy matrimony. No more clandestine meetings in hotel rooms or lingering glances in public. She’d take his last name, bear him a son, makeup for all that had been lost. His hand settled over her stomach, unsure if the bump he felt was from pregnancy or her simply eating better because the women in his family could actually cook and she was useless in the kitchen. Either was welcome, but he found himself restless to know for certain.

For weeks, he had Tom draft up quite possibly one of the longest, most detailed prenuptial agreements that the State of New York would ever receive, but he would leave no possibility to chance. Not after Kay ran off, got an abortion, and still tried to get custody of his children. He sure as hell never considered that to be remotely possible, yet she had, all simply to spite him. Then there was Apollonia, whose memory he guarded so closely that sometimes even he forgot she existed. He had failed her, completely and utterly, and as he looked at Gloria, he was determined not to let the same happen to her.

She was more restless than Kay, though. They hadn’t even been in New York a week before she was talking about going to Tupperware parties and meeting neighbors. He could only keep her on such a short leash before she’d pull too much, either breaking the lead or choking on it. He wouldn’t put it past her father to encourage any animosity she’d develop toward him.

“Have you checked your blood sugar since you’ve been up?” she asked, stifling a yawn.

“No.”

“Maybe you should, just in case.”

“Alright, darling. I’ll check. You get some sleep.”

She nodded, eyes beginning to flutter shut. “If it’s too low, Sandra brought over lasagna the other day. There should still be some in the fridge.”

Gloria lay across the couch when he got up, and he adjusted one of the throw pillows so she wouldn’t wake up with a crick in her neck in the morning.

“You’re practically building her a legal cage here, Mikey,” Tom had half-joked the last time they looked over the prenup.

“I can’t lose her.”

Tom furrowed his eyebrows. “Is this really about her?”

“Of course it is. She’s going to be my wife.”

“Mike, I’m just saying that when she sees this thing, she’s gonna run screaming.”

“She’ll sign it, Tom. She’ll do it for our son.”

He didn’t miss the skeptical look Tom gave him, the only person who pushed back anymore. Even he knew how to pick his battles, though, and being the ever perceptive consigliere that he was, decided there’d be more important things to challenge Michael on than his third marriage. Besides that, Gloria wasn’t family, not quite yet, and so sticking his neck out for her would do no good. Not when Michael had made his mind up.

He looked at Gloria again, sound asleep on the couch. She wouldn’t have stayed this long if she didn’t want this too, he reminded himself silently. Giving her a kiss on the forehead, he made his way into the kitchen.

#michael corleone x oc #michael corleone x ofc #the godfather x oc #the godfather #the godfather fanfic #michael corleone #michael corleone fanfic #the godfather imagine #michael corleone imagine #the godfather part ii #bruised fruit fic

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pocket-lad · 2 months

Text

CH 2- Dinosaur Island (of Death)

“You heard me back there! I don’t like him, and what he did, what he’s doing, is awful and greedy and completely disconnected from reality. Yes. But. He was right – Sarah can handle herself!” Adelaide reasoned.

As soon as they exited the cold mansion of John Hammond, her head was instantly above the lip of the pocket. She had long since given up on arguing with the underside of Ian’s chin, so she stared straight ahead as she spoke. She couldn’t let him do this.

“I know that,” Ian said as he walked along the property at an alarming speed. “But this isn’t lions or – or uh, rhinos. This is dinosaurs.”

“I’m just saying, there’s gotta be a better way to get a hold of her than going to the park .”

“It’s not the park, it’s Site B.”

Adelaide floundered for words. That wasn’t the argument she expected and she had trouble recalibrating. “Um, well, same thing... Either way, we can’t go. You know we can’t go.”

“You’re absolutely – absolutely right,” Ian said. “We’re not going anywhere. I’m dropping you off at home and then – and then I’m heading out. We can, um, pick up some food, if you want, so you’ll be good for a while.”

Adelaide’s eyes widened at the implication. “Why would I need to be good for ‘a while’?”

“Hopefully it’s just in-and-out, but....” Ian left the words unsaid. They knew firsthand that anything could happen, and he was prepared for the worst.

“No, that’s not fair,” Adelaide argued.

“Life’s not fair.”

“Both of us go, or neither of us go. That’s the deal.”

“I don’t recall making a deal."

“Both of us go. Or neither of us go,” Adelaide repeated, slower.

Frustrated, Ian stopped walking. They weren’t getting anywhere, and he didn’t want to argue with Adelaide when he couldn’t see her. He found a bench and sat down, scanning his surroundings for other people, but they were still on Hammond’s property. It was a ghost town.

Ian held his hand up to the pocket for Adelaide to hop on, and though it took a moment, she reluctantly did so. He held her up to eye level.

To Ian, this was the easiest way to communicate, and in some ways, that was true. They could see and hear each other much clearer, and it kept them on the same playing field. At least, that’s what he assumed.

To Adelaide, the act of sitting (or even standing) in his hand was kind of degrading, to no fault of Ian’s. She was surrounded by fingers longer than she was tall, which could close in on her or whisk her away. Obviously, she knew he wouldn’t do that, but the fact that he held all the power made her feel small and pathetic. With Adelaide in his hands, Ian had full control of the situation. If he wanted to keep her there, he could. If he wanted to end the argument and stash her away, he could. It was just something Adelaide had to live with, but at least she was capable of holding eye contact nowadays.

Ian stared at her for a long time, choosing his words carefully, and she shifted awkwardly.

“I promised. No more dinosaurs,” he said conclusively. He knew that it was easy to come off as patronizing, like he didn’t believe she could hold her own. But he also knew how scared she was and that he didn’t want to put her through an experience like that again. Ian wanted to make it clear that this was his argument, not that he didn’t want her company or thought less of her.

“You also promised you wouldn’t leave me again,” Adelaide said softly.

Ian looked into the distance and sighed. He did promise that. “I uh, I think the circumstances are a bit – a bit different here, Della.”

Adelaide changed tactics. “What if I said I really wanted to go? That I really like dinosaurs now and that I want to help with the... picture.... record.” She couldn’t recall exactly what Hammond needed from his ‘team’, but she repeated his request as best she could remember.

“I’d say you’re lying.”

“Listen, if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s sneaking around, so I’m going whether you want me to or not. And it feels significantly less dangerous for you to know where I am. I’d rather not die because I got crushed in some weirdo’s bag or something. So. Are we going?” Adelaide didn’t want to whine or beg, because she knew that would get her nowhere, so she kept her tone lighthearted and humorous, downplaying the severity of it all.

Ian’s face, however, was dead serious. He stared at her again, trying to work it all out in his head. Coming to a conclusion (one that he didn’t like very much), he sighed and stood up, holding his hand by the pocket.

Adelaide didn’t move. “Hello?” she called up to him.

Ian just clenched his jaw in response. Adelaide had never seen him like this before, at least, not where she was involved. She certainly wasn’t getting in until he said something to her or until she knew where they were going. So, she sat down in his palm and crossed her arms. She hoped he respected her enough to not just dump her in the pocket.

Ian looked down, exasperated. “Della, come on.”

“Not until you say something.”

“What do you want me to say? That we’re uh, both going, despite the fact that I know you’re scared and refuse - and refuse to admit it, because frankly, I’m worried about what you’ll do, um, if I say no, and I’m not happy about it?”

“Yeah, I want you to say that.”

“Well...we’re both going, despite the fact that I know you’re scared and refuse to admit it, because frankly, I’m worried about what you’ll do if I say no, and uh, I’m not happy about it.”

Adelaide smiled, but Ian didn't reciprocate.

“I’ll be fine!” she assured him as she let herself fall into the pocket, satisfied.

Ian silently stood up and took off again. The long trip home gave Adelaide time to reflect on the conversation, and she had to admit she felt a little bad. Ian clearly established his concerns and she minimized them. She could tell he was angry, but she felt like if she brought up the subject again, he might change his mind. So, she stayed quiet.

Also, Adelaide had to remind herself that she had every right to make this decision for herself. Ian could suggest anything he wanted, but he didn’t get to tell her what she could and couldn’t do.

They arrived back home after an indeterminate amount of time, and Adelaide was a little worried he was going back on what he said as he set her on the counter.

“You need to pack anything?” he asked.

Adelaide looked for any sign of an emotion on his face, but there was none. “As long as you don’t leave me here while I’m busy in the walls,” she said.

“I won’t.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Adelaide still wasn’t completely sure she believed him, but she did need to get ready. Reluctantly, she slipped into the hole in the wall and ran home.

She changed clothes, opting for layers this time (not that she had many clothes to layer with). Most of the stuff Adelaide needed was already in her bag, since she never left home without her knife or hook, and a lot of things just stayed in there for convenience. Still, she packed a change of clothes, her backup knife, a bottlecap, and half of a peanut. The bag was bulky and awkward by the time she was done, but she’d rather be prepared. Just in case.

Adelaide ran back to the counter, half expecting Ian to be gone, even though she didn’t hear the usual slam of the front door. Ian, as promised, waited for her. He leaned against the counter, and when he caught sight of her, lowered his hand to the counter.

“You ready?” he asked. Again, stoic. Adelaide ignored this for the time being.

“As I’ll ever be,” she breathed.

Was this a good idea? Probably not. But this was her own doing and she’d have to live with it. Since Ian wasn’t going to stay behind, Adelaide really didn’t have a ton of options, and she wouldn’t back down now. Even if she was a little scared.

A lot scared.

If the last time was any indication, Adelaide was likely to meet a whole new group of Beans. She honestly lucked out with how kind the last ones were, and she hoped her luck would continue, but there was no guarantee. On top of that, she was going to see some dinosaurs. Again, she hoped luck was on her side and that they wouldn’t run into any of the scary, man-eating ones, but again, there was no guarantee. If there was one guarantee for this trip, it was that she would not leave Ian’s side.

While lost in thought, they approached some sort of warehouse. It was incredibly noisy, from firing machinery to people yelling over the firing machinery. Within no time, somebody said, “Dr. Malcolm?”

“Yes?”

The voice got closer. “Eddie Carr.”

“So, you’re the guy who uh, makes sure all this – all this stuff is functional.”

“Ha, functional is a word for it.”

“Does that include the satellite phones?” Ian wasn’t playing around. He jumped right to it.

“Yeah, sure. I’m guessing you want to try to call to your girlfriend?” Eddie laughed.

Adelaide felt Ian shift around, probably taking the phone. When he didn’t say anything, she could only assume it wasn’t working. A frustrated sigh confirmed this.

Ian was also introduced to Nick Van Owen, a field photographer, and as they all talked, Adelaide couldn’t stop the steady increase of nerves forcing their way into her brain. It was one thing to think about introducing herself to new giants. Yeah! She could do that! She’d done it before, and she’d grown a lot more confident since last time. But faced with an actuality – to hear their voices and see their faces – that changed things.

A younger, more familiar voice interrupted her thoughts. “Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad!” This was immediately followed by slight pressure from outside the pocket. Ian had pulled the girl into a hug but, as always, was careful to angle her away from the pocket Adelaide was in.

It was his daughter, Kelly.

Though they hadn’t officially met, Adelaide loved Kelly. She was smart and witty, and she kept Ian on his toes. More importantly, Adelaide thought Kelly made Ian a better person. She just couldn’t bring herself to meet her yet. She could tell Ian wanted it to happen, but he wouldn’t rush her. One day , Adelaide told herself. Unfortunately, it never seemed to be the right day.

The happy reunion was short-lived when Ian told Kelly she’d be staying with a babysitter for a little while. This did not go over well.

“I’m your daughter all the time. You can’t abandon me whenever opportunity knocks!” Kelly said.

Adelaide felt Ian tense up, but his voice remained calm. “That hurt my feelings. Your mom tell you to say that?”

They argued for quite some time, and Adelaide had to admit that Kelly had a point. Ian didn’t tend to make lasting connections with anybody, but it seemed as though that was starting to change with Adelaide, Sarah, and Kelly.

It was painful to have to sit and listen to all of this without being able to say anything, but such was the life of a borrower. And though Adelaide wished she could do something, she wasn’t even sure what she would say if she had the opportunity. ‘Your dad is going back to dinosaur island’ ? ‘He loves you but he’s incapable of showing it like a normal person’ ? Maybe it was for the best that Adelaide couldn’t say anything.

While they argued, a voice called for Ian to come downstairs and he ignored it. Apparently, Kelly didn’t make the gymnastics team, whatever that was, even though she’d been practicing for forever, which sounded like a huge bummer. It must have been important. Ian tried to comfort her, but Kelly wasn't having it.

“You like to have kids, but you just don’t want to be with them, do you?”

Wow, this girl could really drive the knife in.

“It wasn’t me who dumped you and split for Paris, so don’t take it out on me!” Ian raised his voice.

Adelaide winced, knowing he would immediately regret that. She was honestly surprised it took him this long to lose his cool, so that had to count for something. And she was right, because Ian instantly apologized, telling Kelly not to listen to him.

As she felt Ian walk away, Adelaide chanced a peek out of the pocket. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Fine,” Ian said, but his tone told Adelaide he was not fine.

“You’re doing the best you can, Ian. I think she’s-”

“You should take cover,” Ian interrupted as he pointed to where they were heading.

Adelaide instinctively followed his finger, seeing that they were indeed approaching a group of people. It was already risky enough for her to be out in such a crowded environment, but she couldn’t not acknowledge what just happened.

Even so, Adelaide was miffed that he interrupted her like that. She understood that he probably didn’t want to talk about it, as was often the case when either of them felt vulnerable or upset, but with the way he had been acting since they left Hammond’s, Adelaide felt like she couldn’t do anything right, that anything she said would make Ian angry.

It was another two hours of sitting in the uncomfortable pocket before they got on a boat. The longer she sat there, the more Adelaide squirmed around. She had never been in the pocket this long, and it grew more uncomfortable by the second. The fear of the various giants milling about and the fear of going back to the island faded way into the background, and she even forgot how pissed she and Ian were at each other.

Adelaide wished she could stretch her legs, or even just see outside. She’d never been on a boat before, and she wanted to check it out.

She also needed to sort out whatever was going on with Ian before they arrived on dinosaur island because she was not going to spend the whole trip walking on eggshells. This Eddie guy was in the middle of explaining something Adelaide didn’t care about, so she banged on Ian’s chest to get his attention. She really did try to wait until Eddie was done talking, but she’d been in the pocket for hours and his monologue had no end in sight.

Ian excused himself and not long after, the pocket pinched open. Adelaide winced in the sudden light. When her eyes adjusted, Ian’s annoyed face stared down at her.

“What?” he whispered.

“You aren’t talking to me,” Adelaide said matter-of-factly.

“Would you like me to pull you out now so we can have a conversation in front of, uh, everyone?” he asked.

Adelaide pushed on to her point, ignoring the sarcasm. “Are you actually mad?”

“Um, a little…yeah.”

Adelaide blinked. She didn’t expect him to agree so quickly, but she asked, and he answered. At least she wasn’t guessing now. At least she had confirmation. That was something she could work with. “Why?”

“Well, because you uh, conned me into – into taking you along.”

“I make my own decisions.”

“Yeah, but sometimes it feels like those decisions are made, uh, not through logical thinking, but through sheer – sheer stubbornness.”

Adelaide scoffed. “Look who’s talking! I wouldn’t exactly call it logical to rush in on this because your girlfriend is on dinosaur island. Willingly, I might add.”

Ian paused and lowered his voice as he glanced around, realizing their argument was getting a little loud. “That’s different.”

“How?” Adelaide pressed. It had to be because she was small, and she wanted to hear him say it. The implication hung in the air, so Ian kept his mouth shut, knowing he’d dig himself into a hole he didn’t have time to climb out of.

Adelaide continued. “Think of it like this. Sarah got in trouble, so you're staging a rescue operation for her. When you inevitably get into trouble, I need to stage a rescue operation for you, but because I am incapable of getting to the island on my own, it’s best that I tag along now. Save some time.”

Something in Ian shifted. Adelaide didn’t expect him to completely change his mind with one conversation, but she could feel herself breaking through to him. “We survived before. We can survive again. And you know we’re better as a team.”

“Yeah, yeah. That isn’t gonna stop me from worrying about you,” Ian said.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Adelaide smiled.

Seemingly satisfied and back to normal for now, Ian changed the subject. “Listen, uh, I’m not gonna pull you out in front of – in front of everyone again, and I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but uh, do you think – do you think you might want to.....introduce yourself sooner rather than later? We won’t be able to keep this up for long, though uh, I certainly can try.”

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best,” Adelaide admitted. She quickly felt the need to clarify. “But not right now!”

Ian laughed at the fact that Adelaide thought he would just immediately whip her out and show her off.

“They’re bound to see me eventually,” she continued, “so I guess it’s better I have some sort of control over it.... I don’t know, I’ll figure it out.”

“Well, I’ve got your back when you do. And the sooner you get that over with, the sooner - the sooner you get out of the pocket, so.....”

“Thanks.” Adelaide took a deep breath, coming to a realization. “And I guess that means I’m finally meeting Sarah.” She couldn’t hide the nerves in her voice.

Much like Kelly, Sarah was good for Ian. She was independent, unbothered, and adventurous, so she too kept Ian on his toes. Adelaide really wanted to meet her, but again, just as with Kelly, she never found the right time. She was beginning to think there never would be a right time, and that she just needed to do it.

There were the usual nerves that came with meeting a new Bean, sure, but Adelaide wanted Sarah to like her. This wasn’t something she’d ever experienced before, save for Ellie, but Adelaide didn’t really have a choice in meeting Ellie. Now, she had time to think about how she’d be introduced to Sarah, and the more she thought about it, the worse it got. Ian called it anxiety, but whatever it was, it was incredibly inconvenient.

He picked up on her nerves. It wasn’t hard, seeing how much Adelaide fidgeted. “She’ll love you!” he assured her.

“Yeah, I know,” Adelaide said smugly.

Ian laughed, but they were interrupted by another voice. Nick Van Owen, if Adelaide recalled correctly.

“Who are you talking to?” he asked.

“Nobody,” Ian said confidently, spinning around and sending Adelaide to the bottom of the pocket. The swift movement made her dizzy, but she was more preoccupied with whether Nick saw and/or heard her.

“Riiiiight,” he drawled, and even Adelaide could hear the suspicion in his voice. Luckily, he seemed to want to drop it in favor of giving them an update. “Captain says he’s unloading us here. He won’t go further up the river. He’s heard too many stories about this island chain, so he’ll drop us off and anchor offshore. Apparently they call these islands ‘Las Cincos Muertes’.”

“And what does that mean?” Ian asked.

“The five deaths.”

Adelaide’s jaw dropped. Not only were they going to dinosaur island. They were going to a dinosaur island named after death. If that wasn’t a bad omen, she didn’t know what was.

But no, no, they weren’t ‘going’ to the dinosaur island of death anymore. They were here.

#jurassic park #ian malcolm #g/t #giant/tiny #jurassic park g/t #gt #size difference

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chosovixen · 2 years

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What Happens in the Dark

Summary: your family decided it would be nice to visit your aunt and cousin in india for summer break. after struggling with trying to be a good stepsister and the weight of reality, you meet a certain someone that makes it a bit bearable.

Warnings!!: dark theme, 18+, mature theme, non/dubcon, reader is 19, creepy/aggressive stepbrother, abuse, smoking, angst/comfort ending?

Word count: 4.3k

pt.2, pt.3, pt.4

feedback and reblogs appreciated!!

"Come on, we can't be late," your mom shouted downstairs.

The flight wasn't until 1 AM—but knowing how overly prepared your parents are, they wanted to arrive hours earlier. So as you rushed packing whatever essentials you had left, you shouted back an "okay."

The time was 9:30; you went to the kitchen and grabbed a cup from the cupboard—moving the cup underneath the faucet, you twisted the nob open to let some cold water fill the cup. Unfortunately, before you could take a sip, your stepbrother Jonathan walked in, making you tense up.

Your mother was not too recently divorced; it had been about five years since she left your father, slowly creeping on the two-year mark of her and your stepfather's marriage. There wasn't any bad blood between your mother and father; they just fell out of love and had to choose better for themselves. Your father kept his promises and visited you every other day, every birthday and holiday, to prove that he still cared and wanted to be a part of your life.

The day your mother introduced her new boyfriend and his son, you instantly felt a disconnect. The man's name was Colin; he wasn't very welcoming and never tried to converse with you outside of 'family' dinners—but you didn't care since you liked keeping any interactions to a minimum. Colin had slick black hair and was tall and intimidating; his stance alone would make anyone shutter. He walked around confidently, chest constantly puffed out, adding to the intimidation. His son Jonathan was three years older than you, about 6'1, and practically mirrored his father, but when he spoke—it was as if a demon crawled next to your ear, whispering evil doings. He could convince you to do about anything upon request, and you did it negligently; just the idea of having a sibling made you submissive. You wanted to be the best little sister you possibly could be. Besides, your parents were too involved with each other to care what you two were up to—so when Jonathan told you to kneel between his legs and take his cock in your mouth, you did. Or when he suggested that having it buried deep inside your warm walls would help you concentrate on your studies—you subconsciously agreed.

This arrangement had been going on for almost seven months, and as much as you wanted to achieve the beat sister status, you couldn't help but feel it was a little wrong. Deep down in your gut—you knew something was wrong.

"Ready to go?" Johnathan asked, making his way around the counter to reach you.

"Yup, just—" you began.

Johnathan had taken the cup from your hands, making sure to give your hand a little squeeze; he brought the cup up to his lips—gulping what was left of the contents. He rinsed out the cup putting it on the rack to dry before he turned to you, offering you a wink.

Without noticing, you rolled your eyes and stated that you weren't finished with your drink pushing past him to head towards the car. However, Johnathan was sure to catch it and grabbed your wrist—forcing you to turn and look up at him.

"If you have an attitude, I could fix it for you," he growled.

His voice sounded emotionless yet stern, sending shivers down your spine. You didn't want to annoy him further—so you flashed him that cute innocent smile he was familiar with, getting him to settle, and loosen the grip on your wrist.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." soft-spoken and calm, you apologized.

"Good, hurry along now," he commanded,

Finally letting go of your wrist, he watched as you ran out to the car, admiring how your ass moved in the leggings you wore. It was as if you wanted him to look or, better yet, grab it.

•.¸¸.• •.¸¸.•

The flight from New York to Hawkins wasn't too bad—but you had to sit next to Johnathan, and he didn't make it easy. He would constantly grab your thigh, and when you'd try to move his hand, he only gripped it harder; at one point—he pulled a blanket over him and then leaned over, whispering in your ear that he had a problem only you could take care of. Other than that, the flight was pleasant. You caught up on some reading though you thought you never would. Unfortunately, the plane landed a bit after you flipped the page of what now was the juiciest part of the book. So immersed in the plot—you couldn't hear Johnathan calling out to you. It wasn't until a harsh sting was left on your fingertips that you noticed the book wasn't in your grasp anymore but in Jonathan's—dangling in front of your face.

"What are you waiting for, a miracle or something?" he joked, stepping over you and into the isles before following the crowd heading off the plane; you trotted behind him, carefully tapping his shoulder.

"May I have my book back?" you kindly held your hands out and pleaded.

Johnathan spoke over his shoulder, not looking at you.

"I'll think about it." he proposed.

"Johnathan I—"

"I said I'll think about it." he stopped abruptly and turned to face you, driving you to bump into him at the sudden stillness.

There was a slight pause as you two looked into each other's eyes, unlike usual—this time, it was almost hateful, and you couldn't figure out why. Then, noticing a line was forming behind you, Johnathan quickly apologized and exited the plane.

The car ride was silent primarily as your parents tried to make small talk. All you wanted to do was get to your aunt's house and relax—to get the horrible day you were having out of your head.

As you stared out the window, you smiled as you watched the kids riding past on their bikes giggling to themselves; it made the town look so innocent and peaceful. You rolled the window down—getting a wif of the sweet air; it was nothing like New York and made you feel comfortable. Everything you saw made you want to stay—from the greenery to the simple houses; it was all ideal.

"We're here." your mother squeaked—you broke from your daydream.

Before the car could make a complete stop—you quickly hopped out, grabbed your bags, and ran up to the door to knock on it. Eagerly waiting for the door to open, you heard Colin laugh, saying he's never seen you so excited. Then, finally, it swung open—and in front of you stood your cousin Kim screaming as she held her arms open, gesturing to hug her. Moving inside—you set your bags down before grabbing her and holding her tight.

"Oh my God, I missed you so much." your grip only got strong as Kim tried pulling away.

"I can tell," Kim replied—giving you a few pats on the back.

As you let go, the rest of your family walked in—your aunt emerged from the living room upon hearing all the commotion and looked a little stunned.

"I thought you guys weren't coming till late evening." puzzlement was written all over her face.

"I did too, but we caught an earlier flight." your mom explained.

"Well, you should've let me know; I would've come to pick you up."

"It's fine; the cab ride was short anyway." ending the conversation there, your mom embraced her sister—giving her compliments on the house.

There was a brief introduction between your stepdad, stepbrother, and cousin. She hadn't met them, but she'd heard about them occasionally. Your aunt had met them on a trip to New York a while ago and decided that if your mother was pleased, then she was pleased.

"Kim!!" You heard a deep yet serene voice yell from upstairs. Whipping your head in Kim's direction—you wondered.

"Oh!!" She gasped, slapping her hand on her forehead. "You have to meet this dude. He's the coolest person ever." Then, before you could even think, she grabbed your hand—nearly dragging you up the stairs.

Halfway up the stairs, you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand; it was chilling. Glancing over your shoulder—you noticed Johnathan grimly look at you. Not overthinking it, you persisted up the stairs, and his face disappeared—giving you some relief as you made your way down the hall.

You stood in front of Kim's bedroom door; she turned to you, biting her lip and bouncing on the balls of her feet as she held the door knob.

"Ready?" She egged on.

Giving her a low chuckle, you shrugged.

Twisting the knob, she pushed the door open—pulling you in before dropping your hand to raise hers in the air.

"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie!!" She chanted, fist bumping the air after each call.

On her bed lay a boy; he looked roughly around your age. This Eddie guy looked comfortable—so you'd guessed he was a close friend of Kim's. He wore black ankle socks, ripped black jeans, and a black graphic tee to tie the theme together; the shirt had something written on the front—but you couldn't tell with how he lay on the bed. Glossing over him, you noticed a few tattoos and piercings. Did your aunt honestly allow this guy to come over and spend time in your cousin's room? You thought. His hair then caught your attention; it was big and slightly curly—and the way it framed his face made him look mature and well-kept.

"Take a picture; it'll last longer." the boy spoke, flashing a small smile. He examined you for a few seconds, looking you up and down before that smile became a smirk.

"Oh, I didn't mean—I was just—" you stumbled over yourself before quickly getting it together and starting over. "Hi, I'm y/n," you said, walking up to the bed—arm stretched out to shake his hand.

Eddie jumped up before you reached him, swiftly snaking his arms around your shoulder and pulling you into a warm embrace; he had a sweet, almost vanilla-like scent with a hint of tobacco that couldn't go unnoticed.

"I'm a hugger." he amused, resting his chin on your shoulder. It certainly surprised you, but you didn't mind; it felt comforting, and lord knows you need a little bit of it.

"No worries, it's fine," assuring him you tucked your arms under his, making the hug more comfortable.

You two pulled away, letting out a breathy laugh.

"Well, I'm Eddie," he smiled. "So you've heard." Brushing his hair back—he stood straight, fixing his posture to look more presentable. You nodded, giving him the same dopey smile he'd shown before.

"I'm y/n," your mouth got the best of you. "oh shoot, I already said that." you chuckled nervously.

"And I'm Kim!!" she mocked, waving to you both from her vanity mirror. Eddie rolled his eyes—and you giggled while moving to take a seat on the edge of Kim's bed. Eddie plopped down next to you, making the bed jump a little, causing you to fall flat on your ass.

Geez, could you be more embarrassing? You thought.

Eddie quickly hopped off the bed—lending you a hand as he crouched to your eye level. For a moment, it felt as if you two were the only ones in the room; one arm was around your waist while the other held your hand firmly. Shyly looking away, your eyes searched for something or someone to shift your focus to. What little 'fun' you were having all crumbled away—and in crept Johnathan. Feeling your chest tighten, you swiftly got up, pushing Eddie away from you, adjusting your clothes—and straightening yourself out.

"Hey," Johnathan mumbled. He stepped inside slowly, ensuring it was okay with Kim to continue.

After getting a wave from Kim, signaling him to come in—he didn't hesitate. Jonathan resided in the bean bag chair Kim had placed in the corner of her room, never breaking eye contact with you; you don't think he ever broke eye contact since he walked in.

"Eddie, this is Johnathan. Johnathan, this is Eddie," Kim briefly introduced—turning back to her mirror and continuing to paint her nails. They both exchanged a simple wave as you moved to sit on the floor.

Eddie sat back on Kim's bed and grabbed his pack of cigs from his pocket. He took one out and placed it between his lips, then reaching over to her nightstand, he held the lighter—pulling it to the butt of the cigarette. Eddie flicked the lighter open—and you watched as the flame sparked up the end making the cigarette sizzle.

He took a puff blowing out rings before extending his arm to you and offering you some. You glanced over at Johnathan, who just sat there, giving you a blank stare.

"No thanks, I'm fine." you shook your head, declining his offer.

"You sure?"

Taking one more peak at Johnathan, you pushed eddies arm away, repeating your 'no.'

Eddie shrugged, then offered some to the others in the room; they each had a bit before letting him finish the rest.

As the hours passed—you all remained in the room chatting about your favorite bands/musicians, snacks, and other stuff. Eddie was surprised that your favorite band was Black Sabbath and proceeded to show off his t-shirt. Now that you could see the material properly, it was a Black Sabbath world tour t-shirt—the same your dad had gotten you for your 18th birthday. Without even realizing it, you and Eddie began a conversation of your own—and you had much more in common than you thought.

It was getting late, so Kim decided to take Eddie home. Your aunt didn't mind and told her to take the car and get back safe.

"It was super nice meeting you, y/n," Eddie said, reaching out to hug you.

"No, it was nice meeting you, Eddie!" you chirped, hugging him tightly. As he walked to the front door, he paused—snapping his fingers in the air before turning to you. "I almost forgot, Kim and I are heading to the lake tomorrow; wanna join?" Not giving it a second thought—you agreed, smiling cheerfully. Then, after hugging him once more, you waved him goodbye.

"See you tomorrow!" you nearly shouted before closing the door.

You made your way back up the stairs heading to your room without noticing Johnathan standing at the top of the stairs. Coming to a halt, you looked up at him, your smile slowly fading away.

"It was really nice meeting you, Eddie!" he mocked.

"Huh?"

"Don't act like an idiot; you were practically all over that guy."

"I was just being nice" trying to defend yourself, you moved past him, making it to your room. Johnathan followed not too far behind, pushing you inside and locking the door.

"You think just cause we're in an unfamiliar place, you get to act different?" he questioned.

"No."

"Then why are you trying to fuck with me?" he pressured, stepping closer, forcing you to back up against the edge of the bed.

"I'm not." almost whispering, you assured him.

"But you are."

Everything happened so quickly; you were on the bed gasping for air. Johnathan had one hand around your throat—squeezing tightly as the other caressed your cheek fondly. The room fell silent for a moment; all that could be heard was the rustling of the sheets as you struggled to get him off.

"It's okay, you're okay." he cooed.

Your vision was getting blurry, and the room started to spin—before passing out from the lack of air, he leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I am going to make you remember who you belong to."

Then everything went black.

•.¸¸.• •.¸¸.•

The glints of sunlight beamed through the slightly opened curtain; you squirmed, moving your hand in front of your face to block it. Then, while sitting up—you winced at the sharp pain in your lower back and pelvic area. Throwing the sheets off, you placed your feet on the cold hardwood floor and attempted to stand, but the discomfort was too much to bear—making you fall back on the bed. After a while, you decided it wasn't worth it and crawled back underneath the sheets tucking yourself in—you brought your knees up to your chest, squeezing tightly and wept, eventually drifting off to sleep.

A soft knock woke you up from your sleep.

"Y/n, it's almost noon. Don't you want some food?" it was your aunt shouting from the other side of the door.

Now fully awake, you climbed out of bed once more—and the pain subsided, making it easier for you to continue. While stretching your arms out into the air, yawning, you swung the door—greeting your aunt with a sweet 'good afternoon.'

The laundry basket that was once cradled in her arms was now on the floor with a loud thud. She reached up, hesitating to put her hand on your neck.

"What happened?" she quaked while pointing at your neck. You tilted your head, confused at the vague question. Then you remembered. Touching your neck softly—you looked at her and shook your head.

"M-my neck was super itchy last night, so I must've scratched too hard." It was a silly response, but you were hoping she bought it.

"You must be allergic to something," she pitched in, slightly tapping her foot on the ground. She thought a moment. "It might be the sheets. I'm using this new detergent."

"Must be." You shrugged.

Bingo!

"Well, wash up, so it doesn't spread, then come eat when you're ready." she picked up the laundry basket and headed downstairs, leaving you.

The shower was short but sweet; the warm water helped you feel cleansed of last night's horrific events. After throwing on a loose shirt and some shorts, you headed downstairs to the kitchen. You didn't think that anyone would be in there since breakfast was long over, but when you entered, you stopped dead in your tracks as eyes peered over at you.

"Well, look who's out of bed." Colin amused.

You gave a soft smile before walking over to the table, taking a seat between Kim and Johnathan. Your mother handed you a plate loaded with pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Thanking her—you picked up your fork, getting ready to dig in.

"The fuck happened to your neck," Kim asked.

"Kim!!" Your aunt gasped.

Kim ignored her outburst and looked at you. The whole table turned to you, waiting for an answer. From the corner of your eye, you could see Johnathan staring.

"I um," you crocked.

"She got a nasty rash from the bedding." your aunt chimed in. "I'm switching the detergent, so it doesn't get worse."

"Yeah." you agreed. Your aunt gave you a slight nod and then passed you a cup of tea.

"That's gross," Kim expressed. "I hope this doesn't interfere with our trip to the lake. Eddie said he was excited."

"Yeah, sorry, I can't go."

"What!!"

"I'm sorry. I...don't want anyone else to get what I got." lying came so effortlessly to you—at this point, it was like second nature.

You finished the last of your brunch and washed whatever dishes were left. Your mother and father decided to help your aunt grocery shop and headed out early. Kim fixed herself in the mirror one last time before heading out a few minutes after them.

Johnathan didn't feel like going out, nor did he have any plans—so you two were left alone till someone got back. Ultimately, neither of you spoke for the first few hours—but nothing good lasts forever. So when Johnathan approached you, you were sitting on the living room couch, flipping through channels.

"Um...can we talk?" he asked tenderly, sitting beside you.

"I just want to be left alone for a moment," you replied.

"That's why I didn't say anything for a while."

"Please, Johnathan, leave me alone." you moved over to another cushioning—putting some space between yourselves.

"If you didn't act like such a brat, then shit wouldn't happen to you."

There was a long pause as you tried to process the words that left his mouth. You believed that trying to be a good sister and giving him everything he wanted would be good enough—but now it was overwhelming, and you wanted it to stop—you wanted him to be stopped.

Quickly sprinting past Johnathan, you ran up the stairs—to your room, locking the door behind you. He kicked and pounded on the door, yelling insults and threats—though you were terrified to step out, you stood your ground—not once reaching to open it. Instead, with your back against the door, you covered your ears and hummed to yourself—trying to drown out the noise.

•.¸¸.• •.¸¸.•

The ruckus from the other side of the door caused you to sit up and look around; you hadn't realized you'd been in your room for hours—as it darkened outside. Then, slowly and cautiously—you reached for the doorknob, twisting it slightly before growing the courage to open it. After poking your head out to look left then right—you stepped outside, leaving the door ajar behind you. Finally, reaching the bottom of the stairs—you peeked around the corner holding your balance with the wall. Everyone except Kim was standing in the kitchen, taking groceries out of their bags and putting them away.

"Is Kim coming home late again?" you whispered.

Your aunt closed the fridge to get a better look at you.

"She's staying over at a friend's; you wanna call her?"

"No, it's fine—just wondering."

"Well, I'll be starting dinner soon—" your aunt began.

"Oh, I'm not really hungry." you lied.

You just wanted to stay in your room since the only person you were comfortable around wasn't here.

"Sweetie, you're getting so thin you need to eat." your mom expressed.

"I ate throughout the day. So I'll just go to bed early if that's okay."

Your mother couldn't get an answer out as you were already heading to your room. Shutting the door behind you—you walked over to the nightstand, picked up the alarm, reading the time.

"Ten, great," you mumbled sarcastically to yourself. Then, flopping onto the bed, you closed your eyes—immediately falling asleep.

It didn't last very long, or so you thought. Small tapping sounds filled your room, waking you from sleep—looking around, you realized the room was incredibly dark now. As you reached for the the lamp switch and flicked it on, you glanced down at the clock—reading the time currently as 12:30.

Again you heard the tapping or whatever it was—sitting still; you listened for it once more. What the hell? You thought to yourself. You got up and started walking around the room, trying to pinpoint where the sound was coming from. A face appeared in the window the second you opened the curtain—making you flinch. After regaining your composure, you opened the curtain again.

"Eddie?"

He responded with a muffled 'hey,' waving for you to unlock the latch—you did, and he slid the window up, climbing in with ease. You sat on the bed, and there was a short silence before he pulled the chair from the small desk in the corner—placing it in front of you. He sat in front of you, offering a simple smile, and you gave him one back.

"Welp, I'd like to see the rash." he requested.

"What?" you responded with a giggle.

"Kim said you couldn't come to the lake because of a rash on your neck—I'd like to see it."

Oh.

"Well, I don't want you to get it so—"

"Bullshit, I'm already here. Might as well take a look, plus I live in a trailer park—so much nasty shit is down there I've gotten plenty of rashes, might even be able to help you get rid of yours." he countered.

"Eddie, seriously, it's fine."

"Come on." he stood up—grabbing your hand, making you flinch and yank it back.

"I said it's fine."

Eddie surrendered, sitting back in the chair. He examined you for a moment and could tell something was off—even though you two only met less than 24 hours ago, he felt as if he knew you, and you did him. Moreover, both of you had so much in common that it was impossible to hide from one another. So he had to ask when you continuously avoided his gaze.

"Is everything okay, y/n?" soft-spoken, he scooted closer, checking if you were comfortable. You didn't respond but stared at the ground, fiddling with your fingers.

"It's okay, everything is okay, just talk to me." he reached out again—this time, you took his hand, squeezing it softly but never looking up at him.

"It's not okay." you sniffled.

"I'm right here; just please talk to me." he used his other hand to caress your cheek—you flinched again. Eddie whispered a small sorry, but you shook your head, saying it was alright. He did it again, then moved down to hold your chin—he turned your head every so softly, compelling you to look at him. His eyes glossed over your face taking in every detail of you. Then, trailing down to your neck, he froze—darting between your eyes and neck. Though Eddie wasn't the brightest person, that didn't mean he was a complete idiot.

"That's not a ra—"

You knew he knew, but you didn't want him to finish that sentence, "If I tell you, do you promise not to say a word to anyone else?"

He thought for a moment, then took both your hands in his—and gave you a quick nod.

"Nothing leaves this room, I promise."

#stranger things x reader #stranger things 4 #eddie munson #eddie imagine #eddie x reader #eddie #eddie muson fic #angst #eddie munson x you #stranger things angst #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn x y/n #eddie munson angst #joseph quinn angst #eddie stranger things #stranger things #stranger things noncon

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digyoman · 4 months

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I will listen to any and all Lloyd headcannons!!

What's something you always wanted to get out there? Something interesting you think gets overlooked? Something that deserves clarification? Or anything really! AUs, ideas, random thoughts that hang in your brain.... Please go off!!

(I'm always here for more Stand time!!)

mouse!! thank you for the ask, you are my greatest enabler and i love you for it. <3

honestly this SO hard to answer because i have so much to say. probably too much. i looked through some of my old notes in preparation for this post and all i can say is. jesus christ. there is a lot to unpack and i can’t fit it all into one post so i’m just going to stick with the basics!

so, here are digyoman’s lloyd headcanons 101 (based on the book and mostly vegas-centric!):

he doesn’t like to be alone. super brilliant observation, i know! 👍 he can be left on his own, it’s not that big of a deal, but generally i think he tends to feel cornered when he’s isolated for too long. so, he ends up lurking around the casino a lot, just to be near other people. and sometimes he falls asleep there. if you catch him snoozing at a crap table leave him ALONE it’s none of your business!

he has extremely questionably probably disordered eating habits. i don’t think this needs much explanation. he eats a lot, refuses to “waste” food, and occasionally hoards shit in case of an emergency. it gets better after a while, but never fully goes away.

he probably has some form of ocd. yes this means compulsive showering. it also means he has weird thought loops and tends to draw connections where there are none. he doesn’t think of himself as superstitious, but he’s also out here assuming that he can survive almost any situation by thinking “i don’t want to die,” over and over and that is not a normal train of thought. it is, however, the only way he can make sense of how he’s survived this long, and it gives him an illusion of control in situations where he really doesn’t have any say over his own life.

he dissociates during the executions. anyone who says “pretend like you don’t know him,” while trying to kill someone is not checked into reality you can’t fool me. he disconnects from himself throughout the whole show and probably for a while after, so he has little to no memory of actually crucifying anyone, but he sure knows it happened! it gets a lot worse when the crucifixions happen more often—the frequent dissociation combined with his intense stress over trying to keep vegas from falling apart builds towards a total break from reality near the end. i think glen’s death is a tipping point for him, and even if the bomb hadn’t gone off shortly after that, he would not have survived much longer.

when he first arrived in vegas, he got a kick out of dressing in sharp clothes and strutting around the casinos like a big shot. but after a while of this, he realized they weren’t really genuinely him, so he defaults back to casual clothes. but he still has those outfits and he will break them out again if he ever wants to make an impression!

#sorry i took so long to get to this!#end of the semester obliterated me but we’re BACK.#anyway uh. this post sure is something isn’t it!#i gotta say i love the way i structured it. the headcanons get progressively worse and then it ends with a remark about his fashion choices #wasn’t intentional but i think it’s funny lmaooo #i didn’t mean for this post to get dark but apparently all of my thoughts are just. like that.#imagine my horror when i opened up google docs and had to read through ten pages of this.#even my headcanon about his SUNGLASSES is sad like. come on.#someone needs to teach me how to make happier headcanons i am unwell.#lloyd henreid #the stand

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skpct · 1 day

Text

Thoughts-Time to wake up, Neo.

This is a new section I’m doing. The trail is a good place for reflection, so sometimes I have thoughts, and sometimes I write them down. It’s also a good opportunity to post some more pictures; Tumblr only lets you upload 10 per post on Mobile, so I have to leave some on the cutting room floor.

Back in civilization, I would check the news constantly. I was always aware of everything that was happening all the time. Now I’m not, because I live in the woods, and there’s not much cell service out here. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

My impulse is to say it is a good thing to be disconnected. I think it’s sort of a hip thing to say. “I’m off the grid! I’m disconnected! I’m reconnecting with nature!” I do feel that way, and there are certain freedoms and benefits out here. I’m less resentful towards the world in general, for instance. I’d see news that made me feel sad or angry, and I couldn’t do anything about it. That made me resentful, and it’s nice to not have to deal with that. It’s not all positive, though.

This is a super extreme example, but if North Korea launched a nuclear missile at Seattle while I was way out on the trail, I wouldn’t learn about it for several days. Sure, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, but it would be nice to know that my home and family are gone. That’s kinda dark, and I’ll move on, but you get what I’m saying.

People expect you to be connected. I ran into some service right before I got to Acton, and a text came in. It was from my old professor. They weren’t able to reach me though email, I hadn’t been checking it. A student was running a story on my professor or something and needed me to sign a release form for a photo I was in. They had sent me a two emails, and the second one was definitely pretty frantic, asking me to please sign the photo release form as soon as possible. It may be positive for me personally to be disconnected, but there’s no question: it caused a student distress. I was a student not long ago, and I tell you, they don’t need any additional stress. Sure, I don’t technically owe that student anything, but we all owe each other kindness. It’s a reality that in the modern world, being in touch is a component of that, and I’m not in touch.

One thing I’ve noticed is that nothing really happens. When you stare at the news constantly, there’s an illusion of something greater. However, when you only see it once in a while, it’s different. It’s like regardless of what happens today or tomorrow, life goes on. When I took that step back, it felt like the world was moving in a more positive direction than I thought. Or maybe that optimism is totally unwarranted and everything is terrible. Who knows?

I don’t have a grand thesis here, I’m afraid. In some ways, I’m unquestionably better off. But in other ways, things are worse. Maybe when I come back, I’ll have a completely different worldview. Maybe not. We shall see. Okay, thoughts over.

#thoughts #hiking #travel

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akariamai · 1 year

Text

Glitch [Part 1]

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Pairing: Tommy Merlyn x Reader

Word Count: 1221

Meeting Tommy Merlyn was not something you expected to happen within your lifetime. You lived worlds apart despite living within Starling City for the entirety of your lives. He basked in the high life society while you primarily stayed cozied up within your condo. Your lives coinciding felt like a glitch. A sporadic moment in a hectic reality just waiting to drop a bombshell disrupting the peace you’ve ever known.

It began with a work email. Your catering business has somehow garnered the attention of one of the assistants working for Moira Queen. It was a surreal moment of your life as you could not fathom how they became aware of your business. To this day, it was still a mystery.

You worked your ass off for each piece to be perfect and delicious. You called up some friends to help you with delivering them to the Queen Mansion. You nor your friends have ever seen the mansion in person. Decorated so gratifyingly that it established an elite lifestyle. One you and your friends could only dream of but never touch. Thea Queen’s sweet sixteen would be the talk of the city and you had but a small part in making it the best day of her teenage years. You were thankful for this opportunity.

The door of the Queen Mansion was wide open. Busy bodies rushing back and forth with decorations barely being hung up. There he stood nearby the stairwell. He diligently surveyed the chaos stirring within the mansion. His only source of entertainment until the guest arrived. He wore an awfully expensive black tux. His presence radiated a sort of authority, a type you were vastly unfamiliar with.

Moira spotted the dishes and instantly began instructing you where to place the food. It was then that he noticed your semi-muscular frame. She attentively inspected your work for a solid second as your friends placed them onto the table, leaving you to verify the flawlessness of each piece. “These look wonderful.” She placed her hand onto your shoulder as you proceeded to unveil the rest. “That’ll be all.”

You nodded before responding, “Thank you.” That’s where it should’ve ended. A brief minute of residing in the same room at the same time. A moment where the planets and the fates and the stars aligned. Laying the groundwork for the glitch to spark an incomparable possibility. An unlikely window of opportunity for magic to captivate even the utmost bachelor in all of Starling City.

He was spellbound by your beauty, enthralled by your stance, and intended to become acquainted with you. His good looks, he thought, would help drastically but much to his disappointment you’d barely looked at him as you leisurely fled the mansion. He attempted to woo you with his lifestyle and money but you weren’t taking the bait. In fact, you barely muttered a few words to him as he tried to dazzle you. It was slightly frustrating but something kept him from relenting.

Within the entirety of his womanizer life, women came easy for him. It was his last name attracting the attention of women or his ridiculously handsome face (at least he thought so) that usually did the trick. But his usual antics weren’t working. For the first time, he had to work for acknowledgement from a woman and he rather enjoyed it. The rush of knowing his time with you was limited and every action could either disconnect from each other's lives permanently or become the start of something new.

He knew your job ended the second you’d dropped the food off and rectified what could’ve been disturbed by the car ride. His window was slowly coming to a close and you’d be lost forever in the sea of women that inhabited the city. He needed to arrange for more time, allowing his charm to fulfill its purpose and enchant you into his arms.

“Can I have a business card?” You nodded, digging into your pocket and handing him the card one of your friends digitally designed. All you wanted was to cuddle into your bed while silently stressing over the review that would soon loom over your head. A terrible review from Moira Queen will utterly destroy your business. You were dying for the days to come to progress so you could know the fate of your business. You were so busy ensnared into your thoughts that you didn’t notice Tommy Merlyn was flirting with you. Frankly, a panic attack was undoubtedly ensuing your figure as you left.

It wasn’t until a few days later that you’d realized that Tommy Merlyn was trying to pursue you romantically and the thought initiated a hearty roar of laughter. You regarded it as utterly ridiculous. Enough so that you’d poked fun at the situation you’d found yourself in with your friends. Knowing nothing remotely romantic could unravel between the two of you, you dismissed his attempt as a spur of the moment relapse on his part. He wasn’t a one-girl type of guy. His past (and very public) relationships presented as such and you were not looking for a short time. You wanted something more intimate and profound. Something the man the media portrayed could not approach if he continued on with his lack of self-control.

Unexpectedly he popped back into your life as he contacted you. Hiring you for an event he’d be hosting and imparting an invitation to you and your friends. When you relay the message you’d experience endless teasing by your friends. It was, according to them, another chance to have Tommy swoon over you. You took their bantering in stride as nothing, absolutely nothing will occur between the two of you. You were searching for something more than merely sex and didn’t want to be included in his ever growing list of one-night stands nor suffer through the heartbreak that would possibly hover over the hypothetical relationship. It was just something you did not want to bear.

He was, without a doubt, charming in his own right. He’d fished for little nuggets of specifics. Details of one such as preferred hobbies, cherished memories, and everything in between. Nothing a person who desired a one-night stand would seek. He was different from what the media had plastered all over the television and magazines. He seemed genuine when he indicated his want to get to know you on a personal level. Even admitting the entire event was assembled to grasp a fraction of a chance to encounter one another again.

It only brought more questions than answers but with a little convincing from your friends, you decided to give him a chance. It progressed slowly. Dates at Big Belly Burgers and stolen kisses under streetlights. You’d realized just how big his heart was and how much love he could muster for the people around him. Almost too much as most was at the cost of his mental state. He recognized the amount of devotion you dedicate to cooking. So much so he once decided to cook for you. He captured your heart the second he tried to cook Fettuccine Alfredo using a cookbook he’d soon give to you.

An inconceivable relationship blossomed over a mere glitch in reality and you both thank whatever gods or fate for allowing such a circumstance to transpire.

Masterlist

#tommy merlyn #tommy merlyn x reader #dc imagine #reader insert #moira queen #thea queen #green arrow #arrow tv show #arrowtv #pre-season 1 #tommy merlyn fanfiction #Tommy merlyn imagine #tommy merlyn one-shot #arrowverse #tommy merlyn one shot #tommy merlyn imagine #tommy merlyn oneshot #tommy merlyn x you

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