#so when i hear a recording of myself im like who the fuck is that

[healmyhrt]

Ok so like yk how Chris always slaps Matt’s or Nicks ass well what abt they are like live on instagram or sum and he kinda just forgets and slaps the reader ass yk and he doesn’t realized u til Nick or Matt say something and so they is like edits on tt and yea 

⌗ public, c. sturniolo

chris x fem!reader

summary: what the request says :)

disclaimers!: established relationship, ass slapping, flirting, cursing, use of y/n, very short

a/n: i love when yall send requests and start it with “babe” like … what r we 😉??

“where’s matt? probably sleeping or something.” chris responds to a comment. nick sits back down next to him, handing him a pepsi can.

“but yeah guys, we’re back home in LA. and we just wanted to come on here and say hello for a bit.” nick smiles into the camera.

i walk into the kitchen, and open the fridge, unaware that i’m in camera view. “y/n, come say hey to the live.” nick smiles.

i walk over, a gallon of orange juice in hand. “hey guys.”

the chat starts going insane, and i slowly start to step away. chris grips the tee im wearing (which was his), and pulls me back. he manspreads, and i glance at the phone. chris shrugs, and i give him a look.

“wanna sit and talk to them, y/n? i can move seats.” nick suggests. i shake my head, and walk back behind the island. chris stands, and walks over to me.

all you could see in the background of the live was chris towering over me.

“why didn’t you sit?”

i glare at him. “you guys are on live, chris.” he shrugs. i cross my arms. “i thought we weren’t going public.”

“so friends can’t sit on other friends laps?” he smiles, and leans closer toward me. “chris.” his smile widens when he hears me say his name. “christopher.”

“call me that again.”

i laugh. “you’re unbelievable.” i begin to walk away, still in view of the live camera. i hear chris chuckle underneath his breath, and next a slap to my ass cheek.

i stop in my tracks, and turn around trying to contain my myself while i look at chris. nick had turned around, and his mouth gaped open.

“yall are fucking ridiculous.”

nick turns back toward the phone. “um… on that note, i think we’re gonna get off. i love you guys! bye!” he says.

nick picks up his phone, and walks over to us. “chris, you’re fucking insane. are you actually mental?”

i stand next to him, and look at chris. “THANK YOU!!” chris rolls his eyes, and i walk out of the kitchen, turning down the stairwell to chris’s room.

i hear footsteps behind me, already knowing who it was.

“what the hell was that chris?” i ask in a genuinely confused tone. he tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth.

“i thought it would be funny, sorry.”

“you’re the one who said you didn’t want to go public yet because of how hard it would be to have a girlfriend, then you do this shit?”

i sit on the edge of his bed. chris slumps down beside me, and leans his head onto my shoulder. “im sorry.”

i sigh. “its fine.”

chris pulls his phone out, and sees a text from nick.

“look what you did dumbass.” the text read. i giggle at the message, as chris slides it to the side, opening it.

it was a tiktok video of a screen recording from the live, and the clip was of chris slapping my butt. my eyes widen.

“shit, they’re fast.”

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #chris x reader #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

[kaseyskat]

okay since they said that the san diego show is gonna be the only one Not recorded, i'll do my best to summarize the show for y'all!!!

-glenn's dad fact: the glenn close trio instagram (? i think?) is full of pictures of glenn standing next to a picture of the real glenn close

-darryl's dad fact: he and carol go to san diego very frequently because darryl likes the breweries and carol likes surfing! they have not "had sex" there once, but they HAVE made love (statements that made me cringe out loud)

-henry's dad fact: he and mercedes make a fake san diego burrito for themselves and the twins. it sounds awful.

-ron's dad fact: he thinks san diego is a type of eggo waffle

-the prompt that we rolled was called DADDY BABIES. the plotline? the dads (and paeden) went to the dimensional witch tilt toblerona to ask her to give them the strength of their youth back so they could find their kids. instead, tilt turned them into babies.

-the dads still have all of their memories of who they are as people and they can talk to themselves and to paeden (tilt does not understand them though, tilt only hears baby noises) but physically Being a baby affects their mental state just a bit

-ron wanted to stay a baby forever. henry tried to explain the concept of ageplay to him, darryl got confused thinking that ron just wanted to HAVE a baby like with samantha, henry had to explain fetishes

-during the baby section, henry is the most "adult" and ends up having to corral the others. darryl is a close second, but glenn and ron both Suffer Immensely

-while tilt is making. applesauce? the babies scheme on how to escape, involving an elaborate scheme in which henry uses mold earth on playdoh to make fake versions of themselves blue in the face and choking in a plastic bag and ron throwing his voice to sound like a baby crying. beth made the worst fake crying noise ever but then also gave us an INSANE dolphin noise when anthony called her out on it

-(also the dads had to roll object permanence to see if they thought tilt was gone forever when she was out of their line of sight. glenn failed this check very badly. darryl even played peekaboo with him to demonstrate object permanence and it failed. anthony made a horrible horrible joke that glenn's not a bad parent he just has bad object permanence even when it comes to nick)

-somehow this works? they trap tilt toblerona (glenn using illusory mind prison to make tilt think SHES the one choking on a plastic bag, henry casting stone wall on her to build a lego wall around her and effectively cask of amontillado-ing her) and then wander around the house looking for a way out.

-they realize they need tilt's key to escape, but first they watch an episode of bluey! henry is the only one who saved on a roll to Not be sucked into watching bluey and ends up unplugging the TV and going on a tangent about how screentime is bad

-(which is really fucking funny because he very explicitly says "lark and sparrow are well behaved because we set boundaries and have them play outside instead of using screens" and we all know how lark and sparrow are like. not???? not well behaved. henry im so sorry to break this to you but they are not well behaved-)

-anyways they get back to tilt, find and steal her key, and then open the door, promptly getting sucked through dimensions

-(darryl thinks for a second that he's in the rapture and tries to baptize himself in case his baby form isn't baptized. henry tries to help but goes on another tangent and they miss the opportunity)

-when they awaken, they find themselves now as teenagers in a classroom! and they see a GOTH PUNK SEEKER OF DARKNESS (phrases that made the entire crowd erupt in screaming, myself included)

-this time, darryl is the most stable of the dads! glenn coming in second, and then ron and henry were both. very teenager.

-darryl immediately offers to play ball with link. link is interested but ultimately gets shot down by tilt, who explains that they are in interdimensional detention forever

-glenn and taylor immediately bond over how cool they are

-scary asks ron if she can copy his math homework because he seems smart with a tie. ron agrees to let her but is very nervous about it (we later find out this is because he is not very good at math)

-teenage henry is a fucking delight yall. he sits there staring out the window at the trees and writing poetry (with long hair! long hair teenage hen is real!!!) about the trees and enjoying nature

-scary has to roll not to fall in love with him the second she finds out that he writes poetry (she fails)

-normal tries to bond with his grandfather. henry brushes him off entirely. its heartbreaking and also hilariously funny

-normal goes fucking apeshit yall. he gets so fed up of henry ignoring him and the others not talking to him and being trapped in this small room that he takes a crossbow and threatens tilt with it. she calls his bluff and he SHOOTS HER?

-at least, he tries. she catches the bolt and then tells him that if he's serious he needs to actually stab the bolt into her heart himself. he does. he's unhinged.

-tilt tries to explain her entire sob story backstory. darryl interrupts to boo her and call her a loser.

-glenn and taylor throw a desk out of the window to break it open. going out the window Will Kill You.

-ron paints the window like a slip and slide to try and trick tilt into going into it. it doesn't work. however two guards come in and it DOES work on one of the guards

-the other guard eventually gets physically thrown out of the window by taylor, who proudly declares that this will not affect him at all

-henry goes to talk to scary. scary gets excited, but then henry just asks if she thinks that teen darryl would go out with henry because even though he's "not henry's type", something about him is captivating. scary is heartbroken.

-darryl overhears this and rejects henry on the basis of him still dating carol! but offers to set henry up with carol's friends.

-glenn and taylor use awful fireworks to blind tilt, the other guard (that taylor kills), and normal since he was in range.

-scary tries to be bitter and calls henry out for being blind, but henry wasn't hit with the spell and immediately says some fakedeep shit about seeing more than most people do. it is insanely funny i cannot stress how funny teenage henry is

-link is now convinced that public schools were a mistake and he needs to leave Right Now. he rolls a nat 20 on taking the key, but uses it for himself to fucking dip. he just ditches them. he bolts for it. normal even tries to give him a high five and link completely goes NOPE.

-when nobody else has another form of escape, henry takes out his sketchbook? that apparently he always has as a teen? and uses summon creature to draw a boar and bring it to life. the boar smashes through the door and now they are saved!

-it is here that it is revealed this was all a dream but specifically a dream set pre-canon. darryl makes a comment about link being a narc. glenn tells taylor to never change because he's perfect exactly the way he is. scary tells ron that he sucks at math (and ron is very confused about scary's existence he doesn't know who she is).

-HENRY. tells normal to be the best version of himself. AND TO HELP HIM WITH THAT. he draws. TEENY. TO GIVE TO NORMAL AND INSPIRE HIM TO BE HIS BEST SELF. and that is how normal came up with teeny the teen as the mascot of teen high

-it was such a fun show, i'm so glad i got to attend! shame that it isn't being recorded

#dndads #kasey rambles #the henry and normal thing had me losing my fucking shit btw #cal and i were literally going insane #im STILL going insane #i hope this is coherent

[st-kitten]

707 pt.3

← previous chapter christmas special

A/N: um... i've got two small special effects for this part, sooooo see if u can use them at the right moment :")

WARNINGS: trauma, implied death by accident, a good cry honestly, violence (intended IM A GIRLS GIRL BUT SOME THINGS ARE OKA-), that shlong, sloppenheimer (kidding: oral sex, both receiving), age gap (newsflash 😒) (reader is obv 20+ and toji is idk 38?)

"can we call y/n? for cake?" asked megumi.

"i'm not sure she wants to see anybody today, kid," replied a distressed toji

"but it's my birthday..."

toji couldn't resist megumi's puppy eyes. but he figured that if there was anyone you'd listen to, it would be him. it was worth a try.

both of them stepped out of their apartment, hearing music coming from your apartment. toji felt his breath returning to his lungs. music meant you were okay. or at least alive. your singing got clearer as the two of them stood outside your door. he tried knocking but it was left unanswered. toji wondered whether it was just a recording playing, so he pressed his ear on the door. no, that's definitely her. open the fucking door, y/n!

all toji had as a sign that you were inside were was you were singing.

[mention: easy on me, by adele, again for the lyrics ft.]

"i know there is hope in these waters..." is she crying?

"but I can't bring myself to swim, when i am drowning in this silence..." your voice croaked in the end. she's definitely crying. what the fuck did i do...

toji looked around the lobby. seeing it empty, he grabbed your doorknob and pressed hard on it, tearing it apart, breaking it. he gave it to megumi. he barged inside your barely lit, dark living room, only to find you sitting on the floor, head against the sofa, looking at the ceiling. broken glasses and torn papers surrounded you as you sang at the top of your lungs, voice overcome with some kind of pain that toji couldn't understand, but just feel.

"you can't deny how hard I've tried i changed who I was to put you both first but now I give up..."

"i was still a child..."

"so go eas-" hearing the door blast open, you stopped, whipping your head in its direction.

you were about to bark at toji when you saw the look on his face. fear... then you saw megumi, holding your doorknob, standing behind his father.

toji saw your grief-stricken face. the haunting melody of whatever heart-wrenching song you were singing still echoed in his ears, reaching out from the walls like a desperate cry for help. your disheveled hair clung to your face, a stark contrast to the carefree spirit that used to reside next door.

"w-what are you d-"

"what happened?"

toji treaded carefully around the broken glass, telling megumi to wait where he stood. he knelt down beside you, pushing away the small shards.

you sat there, too horrified to say anything. why is he here? a small shaky breath left your mouth, the rest bubbling up like lava, ready to erupt.

"i don't know what i did baby, but i'm sorr-" toji's apology went unheard as tears streamed down your face and a cry tore through the air like a wounded animal's howl. it was guttural, unrestrained, and laced with a pain so visceral that toji felt it in his bones. the sound wasn't pretty; it was raw and unfiltered, like the ugly side of life laid bare for anyone in earshot.

without a second thought, toji enveloped you in a tight embrace, pulling your trembling shoulders into him. he sat on the floor next to you, one leg folded down and the other tucked to his chest. he felt an involuntary shiver run down his spine as you sobbed into him.

"it's okay..." was all he could say. even he knew that it wasn't about fixing everything; it was about being there in whatever storm was raining down on you. he looked at megumi, unsure about how his son would take seeing you break down. the child stood a silent witness to all of it, his eyes glistening slightly.

"why is it okay?" you muttered. "for parents to be your first bullies..."

"what... stopped them," you sniffled, "from just listening to me?"

toji held onto every word that came out of your mouth. a part of him was relieved that this wasn't about him.

"i didn't want a fucking cake... i didn't want a cake, i just wanted them..." your breath hitched.

"you spend half of your life raising a child in the cruelest way... your last words to each other end up being an argument and... your last words to me were nothing..."

toji felt a knot in his stomach. he watched megumi leave and go back to their apartment. he was torn between his kid, disturbed on the eve of his birthday and the woman he was cradling, on her birthday...

as the echoes of your cry faded, they left behind a heavy, oppressive silence. only your shaky breath could be heard. he sat beside you, his eyes searching for the right words as you wiped away the tears that had traced down your cheeks.

"birthdays are supposed to be happy, ya know..." he whispered to you, as gently as he could. as if the wrong words would shatter you.

"they're also supposed to be spent with family apparently..." you said, gritting your teeth. toji didn't know what to say... he wanted so desperately to talk to her. but how do you even say something at a time like that?

megumi's small steps echoed in your living room. both of you looked at him. you felt like bawling your eyes out and toji simply smiled at his son.

megumi carried a small plate with a loaf of bread sitting atop, two tiny candles buried in it, their flames flickering in the dark room. he stood in front of you, holding out the plate to you with his tiny hands.

you held the plate, placing your hands on his. you glanced at the clock, which was seconds away from midnight. you blew one candle, covering the other with your palm. and when the clock struck 12, megumi blew the other candle out.

"happy birthday, gumi," you put the plate down and hugged him. he wrapped his tiny hands around you, resting his head on your shoulder. "happy birthday, y/n," he said softly.

hours passed by as you talked to toji about your unforeseen disappearance. megumi had fallen asleep in your lap and you stroked his head. you told him about your 13th birthday, your parents death in a car crash... you left some things off the conversation. oh, how toji felt each word you said. he knew how ruthless families could be. his own was never kind to him. he told you about his scar in return, and how he felt insecure about it.

"it's kinda hot, if you ask me." seemed like you were back to being your normal self.

toji smirked. "i know. you wouldn't stop kissing it last night."

you smacked his chest with the back of your hand. but it brought you two to that conversation. toji wanted it off his chest.

"i like ya."

you looked at him, taking a shallow breath.

"not just 'cause we made out yesterday. i'm the worst person to talk about feelings and shit to, but... i got 'em. for you." toji was done with it. he didn't want to stretch it any further. not after the day you'd had.

you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, "sit with it for a while. ya don't need to answer me right now."

toji picked megumi up from your lap, carrying him in his arms. he pressed a soft, patient kiss to your lips. "belated happy birthday," he said against your lips, got up and left, leaving a large hole in your door.

[ambient song y/n might vibe to: jeene mein aaye maza, by ankur tiwari]

you wandered aimlessly in the convenience store, picking up things and putting them back where they didn't belong. you circled the whole store thrice until the cashier asked you if something was wrong. paying for cheap beer and rice crackers you didn't even want, you left the store.

you walked home in the evening, head in the clouds. (a cloud shaped like toji)

he liked you. his words hammered in your mind like construction workers at the crack of dawn. girls usually felt giddy after hearing a boy confess to them. the fuck were you feeling? and why was it some kind of diarrhoea? you mind went back to how you'd kissed and how good it felt. there was no doubt that you found him attractive. you liked spending time with him. but did you like him? what even would you do if you did? date him? be his girlfriend? mother to his child? how did one go about dating an older man? if anything, he'd end up with another child.

you walked by a park, watching children playing (mostly falling), building sandcastles in the pit (and falling on them), running around chasing nothing (and falling), scurrying into their parents' arms (guess what).

did you want to be that to megumi? because being with toji meant being with megumi and being responsible for him.

you sat down on the pavement, sipping on beer that tasted like toothpaste, pondering over what kind of life you'd build for yourself. you were not interested in hook up culture. committed relationships were made to sound like life imprisonment sentences. the titles didn't apply to you and especially him. what would being with toji even look like? once your little quinn project comes to an end, what then? would he grab the cash and bolt? would he stay? would he stay anyway?

the more you sat and thought about it, the more things blurred. you thought it best not to overthink it. he did tell you to not rush an answer. but you were not the most patient of all people. the one thing you disliked was how things get awkward every time someone confesses their feelings out of the blue and the other has to be the dealbreaker.

you decided to do the rest of the thinking at home. the city was twinkling with christmas lights and decorations. it was always a wonderful sight to see. it made you want to travel to a quaint countryside only to realise your long lost love for the holiday season and family values as you broke into song about reuniting with your childh-yes, that hallmark movie.

when you entered through the gate to your building, you spotted megumi near the postboxes. a very uncomfortable megumi... in the arms of a woman you'd never seen. she looked rich. fur coat, pradas, sunglasses that covered her whole face like a covid shield. megumi so didn't want to be held like that. your gaze fell on toji, who... drumroll... had the exact same expression as his kid. as you walked in that direction you could hear the conversation.

"he likes me, don't you think?" PLEASE that's what rich people sound like?

"just put him down," toji sighed.

"no, i'm gonna steal him!!!" she giggled, shoving her face into megumi. he flinched and pushed himself away from her.

"aww, he's so playful... toji, why don't you invite me over for a drink?"

megumi wiggled like a worm in her arms, trying to escape her grip. he twisted like a pretzel until she had to put him down. but she held onto his hand tightly. that didn't go unnoticed by toji who was growing angrier every passing minute.

"come on... it'll be fun," she sneered.

"i gotta look after my kid." that was all he said.

"i'm sure he won't mind... right meggy? you'll let daddy and i play for a while, right?" megumi tried to pry her hands off, but she tugged at him harshly.

suddenly, all the diarrhoea made sense. the blur cleared. your eyes narrowed as you observed the audacious scene unfolding before you. something in your head snapped and you took purposeful steps towards her, and offensive gaze locked, devoid of any remorse.

swatting her hand off of megumi's, you put the kid behind you protectively. in a millisecond, your hand swung with conscious thought, as you smashed the beer bottle on her head. the glass shattered on her scalp, cutting through the background noise like a warning shot.

"not. your. kid."

caught between shock and appreciation for your sudden defence, toji covered his curled mouth with his palm. he looked at megumi, who stood behind you, holding the ends of your jacket. the kid looked back at his father, smirking mischievously. toji turned his cackling laughter into an asthmatic cough.

the woman couldn't take a hint even when it hit her in the skull.

"who do you think you are?"

"how dare you hit me? do you know who i am?"

"i'm talking to you!!! hello!!!??"

you let her run her mouth. you weren't interested in what she had to say. you looked down at megumi. you could see the faint red strip that circled his wrist. you knew how manipulative it was to use toji's kid as a means to get to him. you already befell his threat. but you understood it all of a sudden.

the honest urge to protect your kid.

the woman eventually stomped and left, mouthing cuss words at passersby.

"so... care to explain what that was?" asked toji, folding his hands, looking at you with fascination.

"my answer," you said with a smile as you held megumi's little hand, rubbing the back of it with your thumb.

toji smirked proudly.

"what happened here?" asked the building watchman, who heard about the act of violence from others who witnessed it.

"nothing interesting,"

"they're saying you harassed a woman," he was quick to throw an accusing glance at toji.

"nonsense! just some personal drama," you interrupted. "that's the father, this is his son."

"and that's the unholy spirit..." toji mumbled to the guard, earning a death glare from you.

the three of you walked towards the elevator. you handed megumi the rice crackers you bought and he wasted no time in digging in. toji put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer as he whispered in your ear, "what does a fella like me have to do to see you smash another bottle again?"

"flirt with another woman and i'll gladly smash one on your head."

toji's deep chuckle vibrated in your ear.

megumi dragged you inside their house to show you his new sketches. he'd really outdone himself. he'd also made his father hang all the small drawings on the christmas tree they had in their living room. toji was glad that he'd found something to occupy himself with. not that he didn't want to spend time with the kid, but seeing him not get overly attached to a single parent relieved the giant weight on his shoulders.

"mmm! gumi, i have a gift for you."

megumi trotted to you like a puppy, eyes twinkling like stars.

"you're gonna spoil him."

"correct."

you gave him a cd. "i wrote you a song." megumi clutched the cd like a prized trophy. he opened the case and showed his father the cd. you'd chased down your producer's sales guy to put one of megumi's sketches as the cd cover.

"when did you even have time to do this?"

"last night. and today morning."

"you didn't sleep?"

you looked away from him, perfectly expecting a fatherly scolding. instead, toji just chortled. he left megumi to listen to your song on a loop as the two of you went to your apartment. (sorry megs, but this is a toji x y/n)

you closed the door, swearing that the hole where your doorknob used to be was getting bigger by each minute. not a moment later, toji had his arms wrapped around you, his mouth on yours. you dropped the grocery bags on the floor and threw your hands around his neck. bumping into nearly every piece of furniture along the way, you sauntered into your room, lips glued to each other. he kissed you like it was the last thing he could do in the world and you kissed him like it was the first thing you wanted to do before anything else.

"mmm... hold on," toji pulled away momentarily and said, "promise me one thing."

"what?"

"you don't disappear when shit hits the fan. you come talk to me."

you felt guilt churn inside you, recalling how you'd left toji and megumi to wonder what 'they' had done wrong to make you go distant.

you nodded. "i promise."

toji held you in his arms for a while, taking a look at your face. he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and you winced.

"ow! careful, i just got my ear pierced."

toji raised his eyebrows. he pushed your hair aside and saw a helix piercing, the edge of your ear pink and slightly swollen.

"that looks like it hurt."

"oh, it did."

"then why'd ya get it?"

"i always get piercings on my birthday."

"why?" toji honestly didn't understand this form of self-harm.

"what can i say, buddy, i love getting stabbed..." you said plainly, backing away and took your shoes off.

toji snorted a laugh at your comment. "masochist."

"aww, big man uses big words now..." you said, keeping your shoes under your bed. toji simply slapped your ass.

"sadist."

"by the way, i added some background noises to our recording. it sounds so good!"

"oh? let's hear it then," said toji, sitting down on your bed. he was glad to see you be your usual confident self. last night had him tensed with worry. even though he wasn't the source of your pain, he couldn't imagine how lonely you must've felt spending your birthday crying as life wickedly toasted to your parent's death, scarring the one day you were supposed to own with pride.

you made him listen to some excerpts, but ended up talking over them anyway, excitedly telling him how smartly you had edited some things. he just watched you with a small smile. whenever you turned to face him, his eyes fell on your piercing. he counted how many you had. nine. marking nine years of an anniversary nobody would want to remember like this. four piercings on each ear and one in your nose. did you really need the pain to validate your broken heart? did it make you feel like you deserved it?

he dismissed those thoughts from his head. it was your decision. and you bore it like an ornament, and not a scar. plus, he now that he fully took your face in, he couldn't deny hot incredibly hot those piercings looked on you. the thought of you sitting through that and showing off your piercings made his stomach flip. seriously, how much more hot could you get?

as if to answer his question, your recording played in his ear, some scene at a party with your characters failing to keep their hands to themselves. his voice blended with yours like the perfect duet. the way you spoke, changing your tone, pitch, hell, even your little laugh to suit your character made him feral. he wanted to hear you more. but not for some recording. he wanted to hear you for himself.

the moment the recording ended, toji pounced on you, grabbing your neck, careful not to hurt your ear as he kissed you roughly. you gasped, but melted on the spot. you liked where this was going anyway. toji moved his lips along yours, nibbling at you mouth. he let you catch a breath, before shoving his tongue inside, only for it to hitch again.

he pushed you into your bed, immediately hovering over you. he let his hands run up and down your legs. you hummed under his touch. he felt you shuffle underneath. he pulled away for a moment to watch you sneak your phone out of the pocket, finger pressed on a red dot.

"you wanna give your fans a show, baby?" he murmured.

"nuh uh, this is for me," you panted.

toji smirked. "gotta make this good then..." he peppered kiss on your neck, sucking on your skin. he could smell that god awful coconut perfume. to ease the weight his humongous body dumped on you, he shoved his knee between your legs, hoisting himself over you properly. you practically moaned in his mouth at the feeling of his knee rubbing against you. you had no idea what to do with your hands, so you just let them stay on your stomach lifelessly.

toji broke the kiss once more, chuckling at the whine that escaped from your mouth.

"so needy..." he growled, taking his shirt off with one hand. your jaw hung open as you took him in. the way he towered you even when sitting on his knees made him seem almost... monstrous.

toji only it thought it fair to get rid of your clothes too. he held your waist and pulled you to him, hoisting you on his lap. he took your jacket off, throwing it on the floor.

"be careful with the shirt. it's vivienne westwood."

"strip then."

slowly, taking the sweet time of your life, you pulled the shirt off, turning it right side up and neatly folded it, placing it at the far end of your bed.

"you done, sweetie?" he cooed in your ear.

"done."

"lovely. put your hands to use." he had you folded under him, back on the bed, kisses getting rougher, wetter, messier. you clawed at his shoulder, back, neck, chest, every part of him that you could touch. he licked a particular spot just under your ear that made you mewl in pleasure. like a vampire, toji bit your neck, causing you to moan softly.

his free hand unclasped your bra and tossed it away.

"would it kill you to not throw my clothes here and there?"

"thought you liked it violent, baby..." he murmured in your ear, biting a hickey on your neck. he kept switching between kissing your lips and sucking at your neck while he played with your tits, squeezing them, pinching them, kneading them like dough. he was right. they did fit in his hands perfectly. he latched his mouth onto one, making you squirm under him.

toji was absorbing your body. he felt bold; bold to take what he wanted from you. well, what he wanted was you. your body, your hips, your mouth, all of it. he wanted to show you just how desirable you were to him.

the hand that roamed your waist slowly trailed down your cargo pants. you didn't even realise when he took them off, but it was good anyway. less is more.

at an agonisingly slow pace, the tips of his fingers teased you over your panties. toji took a look at you, covered in his marks, lips pink and swollen.

he chuckled, "just how many of these stupid panties do you have?"

"I FUCKING KNEW IT. PANTY THIEF!" you smacked his abs.

"they're mine now," toji murmured as back away, spreading your legs apart with his hands, grabbing at your thighs. he kissed your inner thigh languorously making his way down to your wet cunt. he took your panties off, once more putting them back in his pockets. he dipped two of is fingers inside slowly, as if he was learning about your body. he watched your every reaction, every quiver, every hitched breath as he took his time and prepped you for himself. he curled his fingers at an optimal spot and like a cat on heat, you mewled and your legs shut tight around his hand.

"uh uh uh, i need these legs wide open, darling." he knew how much you liked it when he said that. when you didn't spread them, he smacked a hard slap on your hip, causing you to gasp and giggle as you did as directed.

"don't be a brat."

"or what?"

toji didn't retort. instead, he dove straight into your cunt, painting your insides with long strokes with his tongue. he paired it with his forefinger running up and down, inside and out, pushing against your clit. hearing you whimper and pant just made him want to tease you. recording all those dirty audios with you had him gain a mind in the game. like an illusionist, his hands disappeared and he pulled away, making you pine for him.

"toji fushiguro, i will smash a bottle on your head if you ever take your mouth off me like that again..." god, you sounded so sexy.

"ya know... it makes my dick hard when you talk to me like that."

you crunched forward and grabbed his hair, pulling him back to your pussy. toji chuckled, resuming eating you out like a man starved for days.

"oh i bet it does," you said breathlessly, throwing a few more slurred taunts his way. toji extended his free hand and shoved two of his fingers in your mouth.

"put that mouth to use, brat." he groaned in pleasure feeling your tongue swirl around his fingers, sucking them, gently biting them whenever he lapped at your cunt the right away. even with his fingers stuffed in your mouth, he could hear your muffled moans loudly. he sped his pace, slipping his fingers in and out of you, lapping at your core. he felt you clench and he took it as an open invitation to increase the pressure. you let out a long, stretched moan as you gushed all over his chin.

"is this what you ladies call girl dinner?" toji took his fingers out of you, licking them and tasting you, smacking his lips.

you laughed, throwing your head back.

"ugh, shut up."

"make me," you commented, practically waltzing into the man's next plan for you. toji's hand wrapped around your throat as he pulled you up as if you weight nothing. he got off the bed, standing in front of you as you were on all fours.

"gladly," toji slid his pants and boxers down, freeing his hard-as-a-rock girth.

"this isn't fair, toji," you cried at the size of it.

"i know, baby..." he gripped your chin with his fingers, nearly crushing your jaw. you looked up at him and seeing you on your knees for him lit a fire within him.

playfully you licked his wet lip like a kitten...

"cute. but that's not gonna cut it, sweetheart."

"i'll have you know i won the popsicle eating contest in my college..."

toji chuckled, holding his cock out to your face and smacked it against your lips. "gonna keep me waitin'?"

you took his head in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it, letting the tip run between the faint slit. you bobbed your head a few times, adjusting to his length and width. you'd be grateful to have a jaw left by the time you've sucked him dry. you took his length in your, stroking what you couldn't. you felt his cock twitch and pulsate in your mouth.

"god, you're doing so well..." toji reached forward, accidentally thrusting more of his dick in your mouth, making you whimper. he picked up your phone, which had been recording every lewd sound you made and he held it by his hip. "you sound so... fucking perfect, baby... gagging over my dick like that."

he pushed your hair aside, gripping it tightly as he pushed your head further in, moaning at how good it felt to have you take damn nearly all of him.

"fuck... shit.... s' good" toji let a buffet of grunts and moans spill out of his mouth. first, because he you took him that well, and second because he wanted you to get off to his voice, just like he did to yours. he began thrusting into your mouth faster, feeling his release creeping its way up. had he known how easy it was for him to come just by getting a quick blowjob, he'd have put more work into the foreplay. but fuck, he loved every damn moment of it. how your mouth was wet and warm, how your pointed tongue knew just where to lick, how your cheeks hollowed to pull him in.

"keep going, baby... i'm almost there," he panted, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back, hips moving at a brutal pace. his mind went to you eating a popsicle for some reason and he laughed, paving the way for a guttural moan that rumbled through his mouth as he came into your mouth. you closed your eyes, letting the uncomfortable feeling pass away as you managed to swallow the barrel full of cum he just shot into your mouth.

toji pulled out, feeling euphoric. he was completely obsessed with you. he wanted to take your right there. he wanted to be inside you. fuck, he wanted to see how loud you could get for him.

a knock on your main door and a small voice calling out to toji snapped you back to your senses.

"what a cockblock," toji sighed.

you threw a pillow at him. "that's your adorable birthday boy you're talking about!"

toji changed back into his clothes, refusing to give you your panties back, earning another pillow to his face. he looked at you to make sure you still didn't have second thoughts about him. but there you were, effortlessly moving around the room, picking up the pieces of clothing he'd tossed here and there. he loved how much fun you had doing all these things with him. it made the experience twice as much worth it.

you changed into your pyjamas and led toji out of your bedroom.

"does it say 'juicy' on your ass?" he said, reading the glittery text on your pants.

"ya bet it does," you smacked your own ass, proud of your sense of fashion, no matter how ridiculous it was.

"gonna fuck that ass someday."

"fix my door first." you peeked through the hole in your door, looking at the top of megumi's hair.

you opened the door to see megumi standing in his pyjamas, holding his demon dog, yawning.

"awww, sorry for keeping your dad for so long."

megumi yawned again, nodding.

"she sang a song for me too, you know..." said toji, picking up his sleepy kid, giving you a wink. you kicked his ass, making him stagger out of your house.

"good night."

"good night..." you smiled at the two.

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊

TAGLIST: @kaininety2 @ruixrei @chicken-fifi @mrsfush1guro @szillx @queendessi24 @sillysillygoofygoose @shadowmoonlight0604

#forgive me father for i have sinned #toji fushiguro #dad toji #toji #fushiguro #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x reader #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro x y/n #megumi #juicy pants

[pupyuj]

Don't throw me into fire pls😅😭

I only have 3 words to say:

MAFIA LEADER YUJIN

Ok that's all imma go ahead and disappear now (to deal with the chaotic aftermath of almost outing myself...😢😭😭💀)

-🐼

RRRRAAAHHH this ask was sent a month ago omg GUYS IM HORRIBLE I KNOW but off the record yuj with that suit n tie got me ACTING UP SO I'M GONNA WORK ON THIS.

[cw: g!p cuz yujin just has a cock to me all the time now, sorry not sorry hehehe 😛💦]

i know anon said mafia leader (and yes i have thoughts for that too but hear me out—) but like,, mafia lackey yuj who's just starting out in the family and she's crushing on you, the boss' super cute and super charming daughter?!! since yujin's young and new, the boss usually only makes her do small jobs and errands so she has lots of time to mess around with you 😆 the two of you starting out as friends at first :(( yujin was something so fascinating and new to you bcs you have never heard of a girl joining a literal crime gang of all things before!! she was so funny, endearing, and kind?! not to mention that she had a killer smile and a pretty fucking well-built physique... combine all of those points together and bam—there's your dream girl 😳😳

hheehehhsdk what if you have this kind of friendship that was filled with sexual-tension and real romantic feelings but being young, the former notion was stronger than the other 🫠 hanging out with the other lackeys and/or members of the family and yujin's always got an arm around your waist, your shoulders... sometimes she even gets brave and puts a hand on your thigh 👀 it drives her insane whenever you lean over to say like, normal ass things to her but the way you looked into her eyes like you wanted something and the way you toyed with her necktie just told her other things!!!

mmmsjhjsdhsjh excusing yourself to the kitchen one day after teasing yujin,, a smug smile on your face as you made your great escape but yujin was right behind you!! face all red for being so whipped for a sweet girl like you,, omgomgomg the moment you two are alone she just grabs you and kisses you??!! this being the first time she's ever done this so you're kind of taken off guard but :((( her lips were so soft and gentle on you despite the kiss being a bit sloppy,, you couldn't help but take the risk!! hehehdskhkdj letting yujin pressed your back against the wall, lifting up your leg, and caressing your thigh underneath your dress... pulling down your panties slowly while she kissed your neck,,,

"the boss is gonna kill me but fuck, i know your pussy's worth it." hitting her arm while laughing softly,, and feeling so warm when yujin smiles at you :(( she loves seeing you laugh, especially if she was the reason!! yujinnie carrying you and putting you on a countertop,, and your hands are all over her hair while she kissed you again, never having enough of the taste of your lips,, ugh she can't help but moan when you decided to leave a few hickeys on her neck,, she was too cute you just had to claim her 😵‍💫😵‍💫

it takes about a few more minutes of making out, marking each other up, and yujin reaching behind your back to unzip your dress that you come to your senses and push her away a bit,,, yujin being so worried that she might have gotten ahead of her self, looking at you with so much concern?? "not here. dad and the other's are working. let's go to my apartment. come on." giving yujin a kiss on the cheek before hopping off the countertop hehe grabbing her hand and pulling her out the doors, so fucking eager to get home and give yourself to this wonderful girl 🥹💘

and when i say that your first time having sex together happens on your couch??? both of you were too impatient to walk all the way to your bedroom so after you locked the front door, yujin just grabs you again 🤭 this time she was bolder and a bit rougher—nearly ripping up your dress in the process of taking it off, almost manhandling you to get you in the position she wants, bossing you around—and if you were being honest, you were into it! 😳 aaaaa fuck undressing yujin yourself and as excruciatingly slow as you possibly could... from unbuttoning her shirt, unbuckling her belt, to oh my god finally setting her cock free 😵‍💫

hhehejhsdhj letting yujin fuck you from behinddd 😵‍💫 her thrusting into your cunt like a rabid dog?! groaning and grunting loudly as she spread your cheeks, slapped it, dug her nails into your skin omfg... you would literally have so much going on in your lower back bcs of yujin's careless hands but ofc being the slut that you were for her, you were so into it 🤨 grabbing her necktie and pulling her down so her chest would be against your back and god this only makes her fuck into you faster 😳 the loud sounds of her hips slamming into your ass, your slick coating her dick, and your angelic moans were just too much that every second she spends fucking you only drives her closer and closer to insanity,,, yujinnie biting onto your shoulder a bit, trying her hardest not to come just yet bcs she would be embarrassed :(((

but like, you want her to??? you don't really care about the consequences of anything right now—you just want yujin. intertwining your hand with hers, looking back slightly to give her a look,, and that was all it took for yujin to completely bury her face in your hair and finally dump her load inside you, filling you up full of her cum that you couldn't help but come alongside her 🤤

"fuck.. you let me come inside you...? you know what's gonna happen—"

"yeah, yujin. you're fucking me again... that's what's gonna happen."

catching yujin off guard that she almost gasps 😭😭 you were usually so fucking sweet that she sometimes forgets that you are the daughter of a mafia boss and therefore, you can run your mouth quite well 🤭 and if yujin was going to have anything, it was guts bcs no possibilities of punishments from her 'employer' and your literal father scared her into fucking you until it was daytime 😳😳

#ive smut #ive x reader #ive x fem reader #ive imagines #ahn yujin smut #ahn yujin x reader #girl group imagines #girl group smut #girl group x reader #ahn yujin x fem reader #ahn yujin imagines #yujin smut #yujin imagines #yujin fluff #g!p ive #g!p yujin #g!p idol

[confusedfeelsfangirl]

JONATHAN SIMS

PITIFUL WET RAG OF A MAN MOTHERFUCKING JONATHAN SIMS. 

GOD DAMN BELOVED WIMP ASS STATEMENT GATHERING ,SAD BACKSTORY, LACTOSE INTOLERANT VIBES, AVATAR OF THE NERD, BLINDEST EYE PATRON OF THE CENTURY, KIDNAPPED FOUR TIMES IN 100 EPISODES MOTHERFUCKING JONATHAN SIMS

YOU CAN KEEP CRINGE LIKING MY POSTS I ENJOY THE NOTES I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS END UP IN THE MOST FUCKED UP SITUATIONS , EVER SINCE HE WAS A CHILD ??? NO WONDER HE ENDED UP AT THE ARCHIVE, OBSESSIVE ASS AUTISTIC CODED BITCH

THIS LIMP WRISTED SAD PATHETIC MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERALLY POSITIVE EFFECT ON ME, NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE, AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS MOST DEPRESSED COLLEGE PROFESSOR YOU WANT TO HELP WITH HIS COMPUTER VIBES 

If i wanted to get into heaven and god said I had to recant all that I’ve ever said about him being adorable and wanting to wrap him into a bundle of towels like a kitten, I’d simply go knock on hell’s door, they at least might accept my pitiful man loving ways. Almost a full ass lesbian and I would marry this man just for the sake of protecting him from the horrors.

If I have to deal with one more person insisting I have a crush on the voice actor and showing me his picture, I will start digitalising myself to escape their bullshit no good hearing and reading comprehension and I will slow down their internet connection out of spite

i dont even know why i love him so much. he reads messed up stories but i am just obsessed because i am projecting.

he better have some more fucked up backstory episodes bc if I never get to acquire more lore on him I will just have to write it myself 

I hope he gets some affection and love soon cuz if he doesn’t I’m going to make him 

paypal.com/IFuckingLoveJonSims

Almost all the episodes have him in them and its still not enough. vaguely see something that reminds me of him and I black out and lose my train of thought for the next 20 minutes

I’ve been spoiled about the ending, but I won’t let that stop me from hoping he gets the peace and love he deserves, i love denial and ignoring canon 

I'll lovingly squish jon and his sad pitiful little archivist body will simply crumble to pieces when faced with how much I love him until all that's left is one final statement recorded on his trusty tape recorder titled MAG 201 “A Jon Stan” written in curly-q handwriting on top

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when he’s resuscitated or appears as a cryptid to haunt people so i can make it a reminder on my phone

 once a year i will see it and will do so many little things to pay respects to the man who recorded hundreds of fucked up little stories and still couldn’t escape his destiny to became one himself.

(very much inspired by the Jurgen Leitner rant : https://jurgen-leitner-rant.neocities.org )

#tma #jonathan sims #jon sims #jarchivist #jurgen leitner rant #this came to me as I was settling down to work on my thesis and I couldn't concentrate until I wrote it #the magnus archives

[haunted-headset]

omfg i need to RANT about this song gives me the fucking FEELS

tw: mentions of SH & depressive episodes

when i was going through a really bad depressive episode, I couldn't find a *single* song or artist that actually wrote songs about what it actually feels like to have depression. It was all "i'M sO eMo BlAaH i HaTe PeOpLe RaAa 💀😖🖤" & it was so obvious that they thought being depressed was a quirky little personality trait. It never felt *real*. & then I saw this song & I cried from the joy who hearing a song that was quite literally somebody recording what goes on in my mind during a depressive episode & turning it into a song.

"I look so much better, so I guess I'm alright" = Before I first heard this song, I was flooded with people telling me how much happier I seemed compared to last year, & how I looked more upbeat & less tired & dead. & I was a bit better, but I wasn't completely happy. & I was convinced that I had to be happy because everybody thought I was happy. This all applies to "I don't know if I can get better for you" because I was also plagued by this idea that I *had* to get better, I *needed* to get better because I needed to be the comic relief & the happy one in the friend groups, or everybody would leave me.

"My head is burning like a machine, tryna cool it down I figured I'd have gotten used to this by now" = One of the many factors that led me to a depressive episode was being really overworked & overwhelmed. I was working as a junior counselor at a BGC for zero pay, & the staff treated us like we weren't there, & the kids were either too touchy, or they were awful. Kids in the group that I worked in were either clinging onto me at all times & not letting me get a second of personal space, or they were screaming & being rude to me. & when I would discipline them, I turned into the "mean counselor" that none of the kids liked. I would've gotten a cash reward for "Best Jr. Counselor" if it wasn't for a few kids who thought I was a monster for telling them to act. & I thought, at the time, that this was really weird because back in 5th grade, I was also a Jr. Counselor, & I loved it! I was never stressed when doing it & I could handle it. & I had dealt with similar situations. &, call me cringe or cliche, but that's when I realized I was a burnt-out "gifted kid," the one who went from all the parents thinking I was responsible & a great counselor to being told off by my boss for being "rude" to the kids.

"I've gotten nearly everything I ever hoped I'd have So why am I still sad?" = At the time before the depressive episode, I was convinced my life was perfect. I had decent grades, a friend group, good art skills, teachers who loved me, & creative ideas 24/7. & when these started to slip away, I was in severe denial & I had convinced myself that I still was the perfect gifted child, so there was no reason for me to be sad over all of this.

"I tear myself in half" = I really *was* tearing myself up during this time. I was screaming at myself in the mirror & hurting myself whenever I messed up or didn't do something correctly.

"I didn't think that it would ever get this bad" = When I was younger & I first learned about self-harm & depression, I thought that would *never* happen to me. After all, why would you voluntarily hurt yourself? I would *never* be that sad. & then when it finally happened, I was shocked because I didn't think it would ever get that bad.

@zuuriell @somebody-v @vibestillaxxx @crows-death @r0ckstardr3amgal @ogelizasoot @lexx-the-gay-rubber-ducky @mochamuff1n im now torturing you all with my insanity :)

anyway sorry bout that lil rant :)

#hauntytalks #cavetown #my vents #ventcore #vent #vent post #rant post #personal rant #rant #ranting #venting #Spotify

[satanprotectsme]

The Girl in the Record Store - Chapter 3

Eddie Munson x Metalhead! Reader

(A/N) FINALLY I'M UPDATING THIS SORRY it's 1:30 in the morning and im eating a pizza lunchable while i write this bc they're the only vegetarian ones.

(Warnings! Swearing, Panic Attack, Drinking, Drug mentions, Sexual Harassment, Fluffy fluffy ending!!!)

"I don't know, Eddie," I sigh, restocking our Metallica crate. I turn around. Eddie's sitting on the front counter, kicking his feet. "After the stunt I pulled the other day? Fuck the teachers are lucky I even have the balls to go back! Let alone a party thrown by Jason himself," I exasperate.

"Look, sweetheart, Carver isn't the biggest fan of me either, but they wanna get high, and I have their solution. Let's just go, have a grand ol' time for a few hours, get a buzz, and leave. If they know you're my plus one, it'll be fine," he hops off the counter and grabs my wrists. "I'd never steer you in the wrong direction."

"I know," I draw out the last syllable, bringing my eyes up to his. I rock back and forth on the balls of my feet, a groan wrestling through my body. "Fine! I'll go," I surrender, a soft smile overtaking my lips. He shakes my hands and grins, fuck, he always wins me over. I giggle and pull my hands away from him, a baby pink heating my cheeks. "But! I'm only going for a couple hours, and if I get uncomfortable I'm leaving!"

"Of course sweetheart, I'll keep you safe," He smirks. I smack his chest gently and stare down at my feet. "Okay, I'm picking you up at 9:30, you better be ready or I swear-"

"Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah, I'll be ready Munson," I push him out of the store, Eddie's dramtized protests drowing me out.

"9:30!" Eddie yells as the doors close.

Pulling my choker across my neck, I eye myself up and down, god, do I look hot. I run my hands down my latex dress, grab my purse, and check the time, 9:29. I run down the stairs and kiss my dad on the cheek. "I'll see you later, dad!"

"Be safe kid!" He calls out to me as I shut the front door. Eddie's van's sat in my driveway, and he gives me a smirk when I look his way. Jumping into the passengers seat, I kick off my heels. Eddie lets out a low whistle.

"Shut up, Eds."

"I can't help it sweetheart," he chuckles, starting up the engine. I pull down the mirror and fiddle with my hair. "You look great, but I'm not slowing down so you can admire yourself.

Even just pulling up to the party makes me a little nauseous, just seeing the rows cars belonging to hundreds of people who don't want me around, but Eddie clutches my hand and leads me inside.

"Hold on sweetheart, I'm gonna go do my business and I'll be right back, I promise," I grip his hand tighter, a silent plea. Eddie sighs, his gaze shooting around the room. "I'm sorry, a few minutes tops, okay? Go get us a couple of drinks and find somewhere to sit," He releases my hand and wanders off. I bite my lip and make my way to the snack table. Pouring a glass of mystery punch, I let it slide down my throat as fast as I can, pouring myself another one before anyone can judge me. Taking a long sip, I hear a voice behind me, but not the one I really needed to hear in the moment…

"So you're the little freak whore that Jason mentioned?" I turn around, a brunette guy in a letterman's jacket looms over me. I suddenly become conscious. I'm conscious of the plunging neckline on this dress, conscious of my fishnet clad legs, conscious of how alone I was, though I was surrounded by my peers.

"Excuse me?"

"You know, if you're gonna whore yourself out like this, do it for a real man. You don't have to do it for those greasy ass freaks," He laughs. one of his hands grips my waist, but I smack it away. "Hey! What the fuck?"

"What do you think you're doing?" Oh god, where's Eddie?

"You don't have to fight this, gorgeous," He smirks. I throw my drink in his face and storm off, but I can barely see where I'm going because of the tears welling in my eyes. I grab a beer off a small table and speed to Eddie's van, swinging open the big side doors and locking myself inside.

Cracking the drink open, I can't help but chug it. I wonder if Eddie's enjoying his time in there. God, what am I doing? I can't believe I let him talk me into coming here, I can't believe he'd strand me like that. I felt like a knife had been stabbed in my back and happened to graze my heart along the way. Back at home, I'd never just go to some party because a cute guy wanted me to, am I changing? Am I becoming weak? It takes me about 15 minutes to drink the whole beer, but I could be wrong. My perception of time was a bit slanted, taking the buzz in my head into consideration. I toss it off to the side and grab a blanket from the corner, just wanting to escape into the sweet, serene throws of sleep. When the van door swings open once again, I slowly blink my eyes, trying to make out who's above me. My tipsiness aside , I could make out that fluffy brown mop anywhere.

"Oh god, doll, I'm so sorry," He slams the door behind him, and crouches next to me. "Can I sit? Or do you want some space?"

"Sit... Please," I dab my tears with the blanket before holding it open for him. He scoots under it and wraps an arm around me. "Did you make your sale?"

Eddie chuckles quietly. "That doesn't matter right now, what happened?"

"I went to get drinks and... one of those guys came up to me, grabbed me 'n stuff," I lean onto Eddie's shoulder. "I threw my drink at his face, and ran off to here," Eddie pats my head.

"'Atta girl, that's what he gets!" I giggle and wipe another tear away. "Look, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you like that. I just didn't want to get you involved with, you know."

"I know Eds, it's your job, I get it," I smile, just glad to be in his presence again. “At home I wouldn’t have come to this stupid party, an’ if this ever happened, I’d just fuckin’ punch the guy. I don’t know what’s going on with me.”

“It’s just the new surroundings princess, you’re still learning the people here and that’s okay! I don’t know exactly how you were at home, but you’ll adjust, right?” I look up to his sympathetic eyes. He’s so wise beyond his years. Everyone assumes he’s stupid because he’s been held back, but he’s not. Putting it all into perspective for me, he sighs into my hair."You can be out for a few more hours, what do you wanna do?"

"Can we go to your trailer, maybe? I don't want my dad to know something went wrong."

"Of course, lets go watch a movie at my place."

I'd much rather be resting on Eddie's shoulder like I am now than at some stupid party. With some cheesy horror movie playing in the background, I rest rest my eyes he plays with my hair. The buzz from the alcohol has worn off and I’m just enjoying Eddie’s presence. I couldn't tell you what was going on in the movie if I tried, more focusing on the way his gentle touches graze my scalp.

"I'll never leave you hanging like that again, Sweetheart. I promise," He holds out his pinky finger. We wrap them around each other and giggle. I trust him more than anyone else.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader smut #stranger things 4 #stranger things #corroded coffin #st fanfic #fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x metalhead!reader #metalhead #goth #fluff #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson x female reader

[lauvwar-r]

05 from the start ⸝⸝ antiseptic memories

tw. . . minor mentions of blood (sorry guys :')

you fell silent. im going to jump off these fucking stairs i swear.

fortunately, you quickly arrive at the school's infirmary, the tissue in hand (which gepard lent you along the way) already soaked in scarlet.

"this kinda reminds me of high school right, name? you used to go to the nurse's office all the time."

the infirmary is somewhat similar to the one you used to frequently visit when you were younger: creamy white walls, neatly lined tables with scattered computers, medical records decorating shelves, two single beds (one which you gladly hop on) with a blue curtain as a divider and the familiar stench of a shit ton of antiseptic. however, it did lack the cranky school nurse who used to constantly berate you for your 'reckless' behaviour.

"hey! it's not my fault serval nearly killed me with a hacksaw!" you argued. i think i get my 'reckless' behaviour from her.

"didn't you want to see if she could hit a target with it like an axe thrower?"

"don't tell me you weren't curious too!"

you hear a goofy snort from near the counter. "maybe..." you use a hand to cover your idiotic grin.

with a wet cloth in hand, he handles yours, wiping away at the remaining dried blood and dirt. he was so gentle too, your skin flushing at the tender attention and focused gaze, as if he was tending to something precious like a jeweller to a gem — or a florist to flowers. of course, you were anything but delicate with that roguish attitude of yours.

regardless, you couldn't take your eyes off of him.

"hold this cloth for me will you? make sure to maintain pressure on the wounds to prevent anymore bleeding." gepard instructs, heading over to the medical cabinet to search for a bandage roll.

"alright, alright. but you know, i could've done this myself..."

"but i want to," he interrupts, "it's only natural that i do."

naturally, for the ever-so righteous and caring student council member gepard landau, right? if it was pela, she'd throw a bandage at you and call you stupid for getting hurt in the first place.

"ah there it is." he grabs a roll from the top shelf, taking your hand to wrap the bandage slowly around your palm, making sure to avoid wrapping it too tightly to your liking — just like he's used to. his actions are warm but his colder, almost frustrated expression from earlier returned to him. your heart stirs a little.

"i wished you cherished yourself a little more, though..." he quietly mumbles. but you definitely heard him.

"..."

please don't make me more delusional than i already am, gepard.

"anyway...im sorry i wasted your time. we even left our drinks at the library" you whispered, opting to stare at the floor instead of him.

"it's not your fault, name." he reassured, "your health comes first. we can just meet up another time."

"how about tomorrow after your meeting? i'll pay for the coffee this time." you tempt instead of letting out an 'agonising' scream at his remark. at this, his ocean eyes soften, a grin spreading back onto his face.

"sure. for you, i'll be there any time."

MASTERLIST ⸝⸝ previous! ⸝⸝ next!

𑁤 sypnosis. despite claiming to be 'rizz master 3000' name has failed to ask out their crush and childhood best friend, gepard, for a few years (L). with this new wave of courage, will this lovestruck idiot be able to confess before gepard buys a house and adopts 3 cats and a bunny with someone else? (this is a joke. geppie will not be adopting 3 cats and a bunny).

notes. . . as of the time in writing this note, i had completed my first escape room (yipeee)! i'm not that smart tho so we took a long time but i still had fun :) 8/10

. . .tags @520cafe , @kitsuxiv , @91ed0 , @iridescentsunsetwaters, @yevene, @aestellia

#💐 ⸝⸝from the start𓂃⸼ #gepard landau #gepard x reader #hsr smau #hsr x reader #gepard smau #gepard x gender neutral reader #gepard x gn reader #gepard x you #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x gn reader #hsr x you #hsr gepard #hsr #hsr x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail smau #honkai star rail x you

[omegalomania]

i would like to hear more on the patrick vs brendon vocal ability discussion if you would maybe want to rant 👀 👀 (hshsgehdv also I've recently come to know that mr urie is Not that great of a Person so appreciate you for making that post <3)

all right so full disclaimer: the last time i had any notable vocal training was like about 10 years ago. i did get some vocal training but i have undergone hrt since then so most of what i did know is pretty useless since ive never taken the time to actually relearn my range. my understanding of this stuff is old and limited so if anyone whos actually up to date on this shit can weigh in thats always great. im doing this because im a salty mccuntnugget whos had too much honey jack daniels for one night and that apparently is what supercharges me to write emo bandmember cringe compilation posts. somehow.

this got long so im throwing it beneath a cut. click for more if you wanna read about one guy on the internet having Opinions about which of these two dudes sings better

so once again: this is MYYYY OPINION im not your mom you are free to disagree or whatever i literally do not care. but an anon asked so im going to answer. here we go.

FIRST NOTE. comparisons between patrick and brendon have been going on since the dawn of the fucking age but brendon his own damn self decided to act like patrick was copying him vocally so that means i can be as mean as i want cause he started it. we’re doing playground logic here cause this is my blog and i do what i want and also cause hes that much of a cunt.

so i want to start things off with a reminder that patrick stump did not set out to be a singer! he was not picked out of a lineup for his vocal ability. he mostly just wanted to write songs, and it was joe and pete who made a point of saying "no actually you should sing." and it takes patrick a while to actually grow into his range and gain confidence as a singer since his real love is composition. it's not until infinity on high in 2007 that you really hear him growing into his own as a vocalist and it's not until the hiatus/posthiatus that you really hear his vocal confidence.

brendon got to be the singer for panic because bassist brent wilson knew him in high school and he thought his vocal ability was top notch. the rest of the band agreed. it also took brendon a while to grow into his voice. in fact in the early days before panic actually took off (aka before ryan ross badgered pete wentz into signing a band of mostly high schoolers), people on old fob forums legitimately thought that brendon WAS patrick. old articles refer to panic as fall out boy clones for probably that reason.

brendon actually made his vocal debut on a fall out boy record, from under the cork tree (which was released may 5 2005, whereas panic's debut a fever you can't sweat out wouldn't release until september 27 2005). he does a little part in 7 minutes in heaven (atavan halen) on the chorus (he does the second "i keep telling myself, i keep telling myself i'm not the desperate type") and it's genuinely something a lot of people miss, because he sounds a lot like patrick here. later in 2008, this would happen again on 20 dollar nosebleed, which gave brendon a much bigger vocal part (again he splits the chorus with patrick) but in which their vocal inflections are very very similar to the point where a lot of people don’t realize he contributed vocals there.

so there are a lot of similarities, particularly when these two guys were still growing into their voices. it was during fob's hiatus that these started to diverge, and by 2017 they would be wildly different.

patrick readily admitted a lot that he never really intended to be a singer and it wasn't until infinity on high (2007) that he made a genuine attempt to be a singer in earnest. this reticence would often show live. it wasn't until the hiatus and then posthiatus that patrick, and also the rest of the band, had a consistent live presence imo. fob had a lot of infamously sloppy shows - fun to watch, but sonically kind of all over the place - and patrick wouldn't always be the most consistent vocalist. he'd be strong one night and breathy the next, and it wasn't until the hiatus that he started taking vocal lessons.

but the improvement really really shows now. patrick is a much more consistent and powerful vocalist posthiatus, and he's reportedly incredibly diligent in taking care of his voice. that's why you often see him making these kinds of faces in backstage videos; he's doing vocal trills, which are a specific kind of warmup that helps limber up the voice preshow. they look and sound a little silly, but warmups are important to make sure you dont damage your voice. patrick has specific warmup routines and also goes on vocal rest and doesn't do a lot of talking prior to doing a show.

so brendon does double shots before every show. i’ll be honest here i tried to do more research into what goes into warmup routines before panic shows but i Cannot deal with hearing this man talk about himself more than i already have tonight so if anyone else wants to source whatever he does. please do. i would not be surprised if he treats his voice fucking atrociously but even if he doesn’t...his upper register (which is basically his one party trick in live settings) is starting to sound awful strained on studio vocals as of 2022, which is not a good look.

i also want to emphasize that even if his technical ability took time to really come into its own, patrick has always been an incredibly emotionally versatile vocalist. from under the cork tree is really the first time you get to see this shine, where patrick swings from cocky tongue-in-cheek irony (our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued) to aching vulnerability (i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth) to snarling anger and accusation [get busy living or get busy dying (do you part to save the scene and stop going to shows)]. factor in the bonus tracks and you get patrick at his most ruthless (my heart is the worst kind of weapon), his most raw and desolate (star 67), and a rare appearance of some borderline unclean vocals (snitches and talkers get stitches and walkers).

posthiatus this is even more apparent. save rock and roll in 2013 demanded an incredible depth of emotional and technical range, and patrick was noticeably a little gun-shy about actually committing to doing those kinds of riffs live, since he wasn’t sure he was going to have to perform those songs live. by 2018′s mania, i want to emphasize that you can actually HEAR patrick smiling in "sunshine riptide." on mania, you also have songs that demand a diverse range of tone and vocal depth: “stay frosty royal milk tea” is a snarling, punchy opening track that reminds you that patrick was a drummer first, but this is also paired with the eclectic edm-soaked “young and menace,” the crooning doo-wop style ballad “heaven’s gate,” the reggae-flavored “HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T,” and the closing track which, full disclosure, is probably one of my favorite songs of all time, “bishops knife trick.” and patrick pulls them all off! the best display of this was that he was able to do young and menace live in both its original incarnation and in the somber, stripped-down piano version.

also, as a note: fall out boy songs are really fucking hard to sing. the vocal range they demand is absolutely insane even if you’re not some drummer who got strongarmed into being a singer. the fact that patrick can replicate these vocals live and maintain a rich emotional diversity in tone is really, really noteworthy.

panic songs are also pretty hard to sing. they require a lot of vocal acrobatics, which was an ambitious thing for a band composed of mostly high schoolers when they started out. early performances were really rough because not only was brendon struggling, the rest of the band was struggling to perform songs live that ryan ross wrote on his computer lol.

so now is the part where i start drinking heavily so i can talk about brendon vocals. brendon has the technical talent, even if, like patrick, it took him a while to grow into it. but his emotional versatility is, imo, sorely lacking, and that was evident in early days but it would only get more glaring as time went on. a fever you can’t sweat out in 2005 had a lot of really intensely emotional moments and emotionally charged songs, but it took me a few listens to really grok that because brendon sings them all with the same upbeat energy. and you can put that down on him being an inexperienced singer still figuring his way around this whole “being a frontman” gig, but the trend actively continues and in fact gets worse over time. i think 2008′s pretty. odd. gave us some insight into this due to the pronounced vocal role that ryan ross gets on that album. he takes lead vocals on “behind the sea” and gives us some audible backing vocals throughout in a way that suggests to me that, on some level, the band was aware that they needed someone with more emotional range to counter brendon’s straight-on belting.

so it’s...kind of uncomfortable seeing brendon do said full on belting and also a borderline striptease dance to “camisado” live (which, for those not in the know, is a song ryan ross wrote about his life with his abusive alcoholic father). and i’m not gonna pretend i have any say in whether or not ryan was okay with something so ruinously personal being performed in that kind of way when he was no longer in the band, but it SURE does sit kinda weird with me!

cause brendon is a belter, and that’s just kind of his one mode. this really got more apparent after vices and virtues (2011), and too weird to live, too rare to die (2013), because there was a little more emotional range there. but that pretty much dies out after those records and brendon kind of has these two moods for everything released here on out: it’s either “i love weed” or “i love my wife” and there’s not a lot of range between. he doesn’t have much in the way of moderation. my one single experience in attempting to see panic live (in 2019, no less. it wasn’t a good time lol) was just kind of...relentlessly high-energy regardless of the song, because again, that seems to be brendon’s one setting. he frantically climbs the scale and hits really high notes to keep the energy up without ever actually letting it dial down at any point. it’s not about playing to the song; it’s about reminding the audience, constantly, of what a vocal powerhouse he is, at all times. this does nothing whatsoever to counteract how emotionally flat he is as a performer.

remember that point i made about the differences between patrick’s performance of the high-energy original flavor young and menace and its acoustic piano version? well, you get a superficially similar instance in brendon’s renditions of “this is gospel” in both its original incarnation and the piano version, but i want to point out the difference in tone here. or rather, the fact that there kind of isn’t one. contextually, “this is gospel” is a pretty somber song. it was written for and about spencer smith and his struggles with addiction before his eventual departure from the band, but it’s kind of hard for me personally to reconcile that with the way brendon vocalizes it, even in what is supposed to be a slower, more intimate rendition of it.

this got more glaring in 2018 on pray for the wicked, which gave us “dying in la” which...is i guess, brendon’s attempt at some tonal diversity on an album that was basically back to front “CHECK OUT THIS WILD PARTY I’M AT” but it doesn’t really go anywhere, imo. it builds to something, but...doesn’t actually resolve. i’m gauging this all on vocals, not lyrics, because that’s the point of comparison i’m making - lyrics are a whole other kettle of fish. it’s just like, the guy cannot dial back even for a second and as a result there is NO variation in the way he performs, studio or live. after it’s been long enough, it just kind of starts to wear at you.

another very telling difference is how different patrick and brendon’s backing vocals are. backing vocals by definition need to be much more restrained than if you're taking lead. here's patrick backing travie in 2010 - he's very understated here. distinct and audible, giving us some nice vocal harmonies, but he keeps the spotlight very truly and deservedly on travie. this is also true for studio vocals, like on the lupe fiaso track "little weapon" from 2007 in which patrick isn't even one of the vocal features. he's audible if you know what to listen for, but most of his touch comes from the track's production and composition. more recently, here's patrick doing studio backing vocals in 2017 for a cover of "same drugs" with matt nathanson. once again, he's very good at dialing things back because he's not the lead here and he knows it.

let's contrast this with the cover 2010 panic did of "skid row" from little show of horrors, wherein dallon is meant to be the lead. fortunately dallon manages to shine regardless, but it's...a little jarring that brendon is ostensibly meant to be the support here but vocally and stylistically is belting like he's front and center. another telling instance is this performance of “america’s suitehearts” featuring brendon. in fairness, both patrick and brendon sound pretty rough here since this is a hard song to pull off! but brendon is supposed to be pulling support, and he’s riffing like he’s center stage. and it’s not particularly good riffing either lol.

“what a catch donnie” is the most egregious example of this though. i’ve said this before, but brendon REALLY sticks out in a not great way on what’s supposed to be a soulful, honorary vocal feature. the rest of the fueled by ramen guys singing along are doing their guest spots in a very understated, tonally consistent fashion: distinct in their own rights, if you know what to look for, but definitely doing what they can to fit into the tone of the song. brendon comes barreling in singing DANCE DANCE like this is his fucking show, and it sticks out so badly because he’s doing nothing whatsoever to conform to the tone of the piece.

a couple more points of comparison that i personally find really interesting:

“one of THOSE nights” off of the cab’s debut album whisper war (sidebar: GREAT ALBUM. i miss this band so fuckin much man) features both brendon and patrick; brendon is heard doing the post-chorus, and patrick does the final bridge and can be heard on the final chorus. both of them are belting here, but patrick’s got a strong emotion that suits the finish without being too overpowering and also crucially doesn’t just stay...flat.

patrick actually does backing vocals on a couple other tracks on whisper war, like “i’m a wonder,” and in both that track and “one of THOSE nights” you can hear how much technical and emotional dexterity he has. the former has him belting and the latter has him doing a very restrained backing falsetto.

folie a deux era gave us two gentle lullaby pieces for pete’s first kid. the first is “lullabye,” the album’s hidden bonus track. the second is “bronx’s lullaby.” patrick does the first, brendon does the second. the first sounds very gentle and tender, and the second sounds...i mean, i can tell what he’s going for. but it just kind of sounds ominous to me. so basically i can see why most people will talk about the former and ignore the latter lol lol

did you guys know brendon was on broadway. im kidding im kidding he has literally not shut up about being on broadway and seems to have made that his tertiary character trait since kinky boots. anyway here’s brendon sounding like brendon on kinky boots and basically performing the song like any other panic song. here is patrick covering rocky horror and nailing tim curry’s part. i don’t have any live covers of patrick to have a more accurate point of comparison (he’s in his studio here so he had the luxury of picking the best take) but i just think its fucking wild that patrick wasnt the one of them to go on broadway. fucks sake man.

i COULD compare the two of these guys covering queen but that just seems mean because fob was doing a whole entire studio session and brendon was just doing it over zoom and nah im just kidding i really am that petty. anyway here’s fall out boy covering under pressure and patrick dueting with himself and managing to nail both freddie mercury and david bowie’s parts without losing his own distinctive touch. here’s brendon doing his cover of under pressure and thanks i hate it.

lastly, cause i did my fuckin research here. here are some vocal coaches taking notes on live vocals for patrick and brendon respectively. you might note that they have a lot more notes to give to the latter, a lot more cautionary tales about how much brendon pushes his voice. if they do have critique to offer patrick, it’s in regards to clips of his prehiatus performances (or for that one 2013 thnks fr th mmrs performance when he was sick lol).

the bottom line for me is that patrick, stylistically, just has more range and more versatility. he can do virtually any genre - dancehall, rock, pop, rnb, hardcore, ska, funk, and SO MANY FUCKING MORE - and he can still sound distinctly himself. and for me, brendon only ever sounds like he’s singing the same song in the same genre; molding the song to suit his tastes and his range, and not the other way around.

all right thats all ive got steam for. patrick has always been a much more distinct and capable vocalist in my opinion and it kinda sucks that general public opinion seems to favor brendon so heavily cause brendon’s basically only got one emotional setting and couches the fact that he has no vocal dexterity in a lot of high notes and everyone just eats it up. it’s a diverting tactic and it’s worked. but that kinda seems to be brendon’s m.o. these days since he’s trying to shake low opinion of him by drumming up controversy and writing a song about a dude who hasn’t been in the same band as him in 13 years so

#askin hours #anon #i had to open so many incognito windows for this cause i dont want this infecting my youtubes lol #i just use youtube to watch vinesauce streams and once a month i rewatch line goes up and sherlock is garbage #ive also said this before but its really really telling to me how patrick and brendon get involved w other artists #patrick loves music. he loves composition he loves instrumentation #he loves writing songs for people and he'll sing if he's asked to but mostly he just loves music #brendon just seems to love attention. he never takes a project that doesn't put him in center stage

[chiquititaosita]

maki n y/n defo drag each other on priv stories when they mad at each other then be posted up and all of y/n frens like OH BROTHERRR HERE WE GOOOO

tóxica! maki zenin x tóxica! latina reader if they get into a fight 🫶🏼👹

osita note: NO BECAUSE THIS WILL HAPPEN IF THEY GET INTO A FIGHt

suggestive content and tons of swearing, also tagging my moots @euphofic @sanjis-all-blue @sanjisblackasswife @yourrfavzxri @chrollohearttags @ginger4sugar @kenruu @hqkalon @cottonconnielvr @neptunesinterweb @backwzzds-backup @zorosbignaturals @kisminarii @killxio @backwzzds

if maki and y/n got into a fight it be over the stupidest shit.

when they went out, maki is gonna wait out in the parking lot of her car to see y/n all sexy n shit for brunch. with hair done and nails done to treat herself

“im fucking mad at you!” maki exclaimed before she went out. “what why? what did i do?” y/n crossed her arms all confused.

“you didn’t tell me where you were going, and your locations off.”

“baby my phone died.” you showed her that your phone died and maki was misunderstood by the fact she overthinks and let’s her impulses take over. “still you should’ve told me where you’re going and you always have a charger on you!” on your private story being titled your fave latina 💋🌶️🍺

“y’all i’m done, i love her but *irritated* but god damn!” you have your phone on recording in the bathroom with your nails on, clacking and just taking a deep breath. “This girl drives me absolutely fucking insane.” that’s what said on makis story, titled “bipolar express 🚂”meanwhile your phone is getting blown up by maki whose trying to say i’m sorry, please forgive me. your friends are blowing up your phone asking you to calm the fuck down, and are just over it even worried for you.

[incoming text from mi corazoncita maki zenin ❤️]

“can we talk?”

“please y/n i can’t forgive myself for lashing out on you”

[you]

“what’s there to talk about?”

[her]

“there’s so much to talk about.”

not even an hour later SHES AT YOUR FRIENDS HOUSE! which is where you were and you charged your phone.

“hey,” your friend karlita answered the door

“is Y/n here?” maki asked your friend and your friend called out to you. so you two can work shit out. and there you are with your face all smeared with your makeup on. as you feel like crap. wearing a cute crop top, booty shorts and chanclas (house slippers). you have your arms crossed and look up at maki who is obviously sleep ridden and drained from this. “Look, i was wrong.” and there you are with a soft little smirk on your face forming and thinning for your plump lips. “what were you wrong about?”

“i was wrong about not trusting you enough, and being toxic about it i’m really sorry.” she sighs and looks at you, feeling defeated. “it’s okay, that’s all i wanted to hear.” you smile and leaned in kissing her lips, and y’all started to make out. “yes this means i’m coming back to stay at our place.” you giggle and walk back inside to grab your things to leave, seeing your friends finally sigh in relief saying. “girl you had us fucking loca over this shit!!” one of them exclaimed while drinking a beer.

“sorry, i guess you can say we bring out the tóxica in each other.”

#jjk x you #˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ jjk #˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ osita’s maki zenin #⋆˚✿˖° osita’s chisme time #jjk masterlist #༊*·˚ ositas master list #jjk imagines #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x latina! reader #˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ositas jjk masterlist #maki zenin x latina! reader #maki zenin #zenin maki #maki zenin fluff

[thisnevermeantnothingtoyou]

Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess first listen though!!

Femininomenon: I am not 100% sure but i think that femininomenon, got a new mix (the music video is deleted/unlisted now, plus a few weeks back i listened to the music video and the track on apple music side by side and the one on apple music was pretty clearly different), it has more oomph now, but it still retains the charm of the original. as always I love this song!

Red Wine Supernova: I love this song to death, its so fun the backing vocals are muah muah muah "put her canine teeth in the side of my neck!!" the final "i don't care that you're a stoner" is just muah, beautiful delivery, loves it!

After Midnight: YES SOFT POP!!!!! aughhhhh the delivery on all the lyrics is beautifull, chappell said "chaos bisexual anthem" and i LOVE it!!!! when the tracklist was released i was a slight bit miffed that so many of the tracks were previously released, but hearing the quality of what was kept for the album i am less pressed.

Coffee: live cassie reaction

im fine, im fine, my heart hurts, but im fine. this song is. wow, makes me hurt, i love it "I'll meet you for coffee, Cause if we have wine, You'll say that you're sorry, I know that's a lie" oh god and the final chorus, oh my heart cant take this.

Casual: I love this song, but hearing it after coffee, just makes it so much MORE, like coffee is the aftermath of the relationship, but causal is what the relationship WAS, and GOD IT HURTS, still a bop tho, the ending few lines always get me, like i will yell the bride but i SOB the last few verses "I fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner, Your parents at the table, you wonder why I'm bitter, Bragging to your friends I get off when you hit it, I hate to tell the truth but I'm sorry dude you didn't, I hate that I let this drag on so long, now I hate myself, I hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell" but my heart

Ultra Graphic Super Modern Girl: OH MY GOD YESSSSSS "fugly jeans!!" i though that would be the bridge, but it being the opening is SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!! OH MY GOD, this is how chappell charts, if this doesn't crack top 50 im rioting!!!!!!!

HOT TO GO!: I LOVE this song so much, for months before its release i'd listen to love recordings of it, and it is so infectious, chappell you are a genius!! this song makes ME want to be a cheerleader in a mid 2010s chick flick with heavy homoerotic undertones.

My Kink Is Karma: This song is for girls who watched a few too many "shipname yandere edits" in middle school, its just so good, the music video is so fun.

Picture You: yee haw??? YEE HAW???? oh those strings??? hellOOOOO??? This song is for girls who think too much about men who do not think about them, and i respect that because i am one of those girls.

Kaleidoscope: this song makes me cry so much, i can't really write anything about it i love it but i will cry if i think to much about it.

Pink Pony Club: What can i say about this song that hasn't been said before, it is amazing, i love every second, I especially love the bridge, especially the last line "i can hear your southern drawl a thousand miles away saying-" leading into the more striped down start of the last chorus. muah muah muah amazing!!!

Naked in Manhattan: the fact that Chappell had never kissed a girl when she wrote this, is just muah 10/10 lmao, seriously i love this so much. "wont you fuckin touch me?? i just want to touch you!!"

California: I love this song so fucking much, seriously its so good, it makes me happy, its just muah so good, i love how its depressing. But like yeah, i have never signed to a label at 17 and moved across country just be be dropped from my label and move back to my small town and work at a drive though while effectively looking at my dreams and hopes in the rearview mirror. but like i have felt like my failures are affecting my parents more then me, so.....

Guilty Pleasure: okay a slow one, i'm liking this resurgence of pop records ending on an introspective slow note. NOPE NOT A SLOW SONG WHAT HUH what just happened??? "I want this like a cigarette, lets drag this out and never quit" OH MY GOD IS THAT COWBELL??? wait no its electronic, this is so fucking fun!!! I love me a good 80s inspired bop about sapphic lust!!

Conclusion, this Album is amazing, and i really hope Chappell receives the accolades that she rightfully deserves for this piece of pure pop perfection, it is amazing, and I know exactly why Dan Nigro started an entire imprint for Chappell, seriously, this is an amazing project, and it slots so nicely into Dan's catalogue of amazingly produced albums. I won't be able to make it to chappels naked in north america tour stops near me, so I am now waiting patiently to see if i get off the waitlist for guts tour tickets so I can see her open for Liv (I really hope her and Chappell sing lacy together for the dates where chappell is opening)

anyways right now my rankings of the new tracks are

ultra graphic super modern girl

after midnight

guilty pleaure

coffee

picture you

(im just not in my sad song era, mkay)

#chappell roan #the rise and fall of a midwest princess

[appleatcha]

Its been very, very rough. I can't bring myself to be open with the one or two people I speak to about how bad it is. If you speak to me regularly and see this, well here's my admission of guilt. I'm doing way worse than I let on.

Almost every day for a week now I write messages and record audio messages of me talking about how im really doing. But then I just delete them. I don't see a point in sending them. I feel like it would just feed into my anxiety and stress more.

I've cried at work every day this week. Over stress of life. My son struggling, myself struggling, the house being messy, the cats, it all. My main concern is my son obviously. I put spending time with him and making sure he's taken care of before anything else. But I just feel so overwhelmed. I'm constantly rushing all day. Except at work. At work I sit with nothing to do most of the time right now, and im left to sit and marinate on everything.

My brain is so stress-logged that I've made dumb mistakes at work, forgot to take the trash out for garbage pickup, left my water on top of the car today and ended up breaking my cup when it was launched off my car when I moved, forgot my sons bookbag at home and was nearly late for work rushing to get it to him.

If I let myself think about it, I crumble. And nobody wants to hear it. My friends who grew up with my husband and me aren't close enough to me to care. My husband's close friend just says "I wish i knew what to say".

The place my husband worked and died is right behind the Walmart where we live now. My son and i stopped and went inside the gas station beside it yesterday. The only time I'd been In there was with my husband. When we got back in the car I started to cry.

I feel like people think I should be angry and hateful and not care about him anymore. And I am angry. I do have days I think "fuck you". But its just not that easy. I loved him and I have no clue what was really going on in his mind. I can guess and have feelings but I just will never know.

In a recent video, Peter Monn was talking about addiction and helping people through it and he said "love isn't enough. If love was enough, there wouldn't be 12 step programs or detox programs or suboxone". And something about it just clicked in my head. And I think of my husband saying "this isn't worth being sober". Maybe what he was meaning to say was "love isn't enough."

I'll never know. I don't know if ill ever be able to open my heart to another relationship ever again. Part of me is desperate for it, part of me is desperate to stay away forever.

But the main thing is that my mental health is not great. It's not even this grand loud, chaotic energetic bad like it usually is. I'm not having full on panic attacks, telling my friends about what I'm feeling. It's a silent, calm drowning. Which I can't say I've ever experienced.

I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I could never do that to my son. I want to keep going. It's just really fucking rough. And I don't think people who are getting upset at me not responding or being active really grasp that. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but its such a hard and treacherous path to that light. In my worst moments, I fear there is no light. That its all just ruined. But right now, I don't think that's true.

Its hard to imagine that January or even May were the same year as today. January, celebrating my one year marriage anniversary, working as a housekeeper. March, a housewife knowing something was up with my husband but not knowing what. August, an unemployed widow unsure of what happened, and December, a working single mom who happens to have been widowed, with more answers but also more questions now than I did the day he died.

Trying to take it moment by moment

[mccoys-killer-queen]

All my comments on the Styx: Caught In the Act tape

I'm SO glad i bought this tape

Tommy on my TV screen hits so different 👁️👄👁️

again, I wanna know what their fucking budget was for the Kilroy film

I WANT MORE OF TOMMY'S ACTING I THOUGHT IT WAS GENUINELY GOOD

I love how pouty faced and dissociative Tommy is the whole time during Mr. Roboto like how the FUCK could he sit that still when that bop was blasting through him

he's just letting Dennis have his pick-me theater kid moment

and that GREASY FRIED CHICKEN STOPPGKAKAKGLG

"and when JY started his guitar solo-" *EVERYONE FUCKING SQUEALS*

this is getting me even more psyched for next month when I see them again

as much as I love this whole tape and am eating it the FUCK up I can totally understand why JY and Tommy hated every second of this (i was in drama club in high school I get it)

(it was here the wine started to kick in)

I stg these ppl only get along when Rockin the Paradise is playing

I'm getting in a habit of saying FUCK IT UP DENISSSS whenever he has a solo

Blue Collar Man- "the DOG and my friends"

TOMMY ROLLING HIS Rs STOP

TOMMY'S ROCKIN OUT AAAAA LOOKATHIMGO HE'S GETTIN SO INTO IT THIS IS HIS MOMENT iM GONNA BE GOING SO FUCKJNG FERAL FOR HIM IN THE 5TH ROW

Tommy pls don't fall I know you're light enough for me to catch u but pls dont fall

"the california state legislature was so loosened up they decided several records including ours had backwards satanic messages on them" NGMSKWKGOGOSLPG

JY'S MAKEUP IS SO HHHHGGGGGGGHHH

I'm such a fucking S L U T for the transition from JY to Tommy's vocals on Snowblind like that shit is better than sex

i'm just realizing now this is VERY different than what I was doing this time last night (touching Phil Lewis)

Tommy: this one goes out to all of you who ever felt like you had too much time on your hands :)

the way he SQUATS like boi he R E A D Y this is his MOMENT 👏👏👏

HIM DOING THE LITTLE HAND MOTIONS

"is it any wonder i'm not a terrorist?? 😃😃😃" TOMMY NO—

i was NOT prepared for him to actually do the unhinged eye stuff

"and IIII DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF- so I do this- *plays the solo*"

you may be cool but you'll never be as cool as Tommy Shaw that's the facts

i literally almost spit out my wine at "HE'S NOT THE PRESIDENT"

not prepped for the thing they did by splicing tommy's face bc this tape is almost 40 years old so i thought the tAPE WAS FUCKED UP

the completely unhinged ending Tommy and JY do at the end of Too Much Time by JUMP-SHUFFLING IN SYNC

Dennis and Tommy doing Don't Let It End 🥺 tommy seems to like it so much 🥺🥺

OH SHITTTTTTTT DR RIGHTEOUS IS HERE OH NOOOOOO

SHAKE IT JY FUCKIN POP IT I'M GONNA SCREAMMM

CHUCK AND JOHN I'M GONNA SCREAM

THE CROWD BOOING DR RIGHTEOUS LMAOOOO

the fucking "guitar shredder" made me snort

the angels put too much angel into Tommy when they were making Him

NOT THEM WARPING TOMMY'S VOICE AND THE PIXELATION OF THE FILM

TOMMY IN THE CROWD FUCK IT UPPPPP 👏👏👏👏👏👏

THE WAY EVERYONE'S TRYING TO TOUCH HIS HAIR

Dennis watching Tommy fall into the girls like "you're doing amazing, sweetie"

NOT JY AND TOMMY DOING A CROTCH THING ONSTAGE

TOMMY PLS KEEP SCREAMING AND CRYING OUT DON'T EVER STOP

What i would give to hear The Best of Times live 🥲

tommy's distorted voice in The Best of Times always makes me feel something in my soul i can't explain it

that being said the very end of tommy's solo in that song when the piano just starts to come back in also makes me feel something deep in my soul i can't explain it

that also being said tommy's distorted voice on the line "could bring back paradise" also makes me feel something deep in my soul I can't explain it

Dennis' smile and lil' "thank you"s at the end of The Best of Times 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 💙💙💙

I just love that even 40 years ago as soon as ppl hear the first note of Come Sail Away they go feral like they do now

EVERYONE SINGING ALONG HHHHHHHH IT WARMS MY HEARTTT

i would lay down my life if it means i couldve been at this show

((it was here the second glass of wine kicked in))

I SAW THAT WINK JY

Chuck needs to come out of the shadows so we can see his insanely gay outfit

TOMMY BOUNCIN HIS LIL BUTT DURING THE KEYBOARD SOLO IN COME SAIL AWAY 🍑

something in me ascended when JY took over that solo 👁️👄👁️

THE GIRL ONSTAGE ONSTAGE HUGGING DENNIS AND TOMMY PLEASE THEY LIKE IT A LITTLE TOO MUCH THE WAY THEY WERE ALL SWAYING FMSKSKKVOBLF

that lil flick of tommy's wrist is SENDING ME FKANAKKFKG HE'S SO FUCKJNG BABY

UH OH TOMMY'S ON TOP OF THE PIANO

tommy needs to be kept on a leash and that's why i made those memes i posted

uh oh Tommy's convulsing and thrashing on the stage floor

UH OH TOMMY'S HUMPING CHUCK ONSTAGE

it's fine he's okay it's during Renegade he gets a pass on this one this is His Moment™ again

JESUS THAT'S A LOT OF SCREAMING TOM

it's okay it's during Renegade he gets a pass on this one

JESUS CHRIST THAT'S A LOT OF RUNNING TOM

JY and Tommy booty bumping so aggressively

TOMMY'S SHIMMYING FJSNAKKFKGKDK

OH NO THE STAGE IS GETTING RAIDED

JOHN NOOOOOOOO

oh so THAT'S how that guy died

Tommy as Jonathan: Dammit. DAMMIT! *girls squeal*

AAAAAAAAAATOMMYISSINGINGASONGASJONATHANGIVEMEHISTHEATREKIDMOMENT I'M LOVING THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tommy's eye makeup is also so ✨✨✨

I feel the primal urge to give tommy a bouquet of roses after this show is over

i'm gonna cry Haven't We Been Here Before is just so beautiful i was NOT EXPECTING DENNIS/KILROY TO COME IN LIKE THAT

Fight me on this hot take but Tommy could do broadway and so could Dennis

the SWEAT that is GLISTENING on his face low key looks like tears

RIGHTEOUS 👏 THINKS 👏 IT'S 👏 OVER 👏👏

THE GLOWING GUITAR I'M TRYING NOT TO SCRAAEMAMD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TOMMY SING IT KEEP ROCK AND ROLL ALIVE YOU A R E THE MODREN MAN BABEY

I'M GONNA CRY HE'S SO GOOD IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY

TOMMY PULLING THAT GIRL UP ONSTAGE AND SHE LOW KEY LOOKS LIKE ME

that was so fucking good I would KILL to see a rock show that also had a story around the whole set

#styx #styxposting #styx band

[subway-boss-jericho]

Hey all! Announcement stuff!

Thank you to everyone who has been very patient with me. I swear to god i could turn into one of those Ao3 authors thats like "hahaha sorry i havent updated in so long i died and then came back to life and then i had to work 7 jobs" and im being so fucking brave about it!! ANYWAYS THATS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!

Tomorrow is the 1 Year anniversary of steady tracks chapter 1! 🥳(and also my birthday. yes that was on purpose)

So! I wanted to give you all some updates and stuff to look forward to because oh god it sure has been an entire fucking year since I uploaded stuff and I refuse to feel bad about it but my brain is trying so hard to make me! I am working on chapter 2. Progress has been terribly slow because of severe life events, thank you for your understanding.

So!! What's next? Well, over the summer I am really fucking hoping to finish chapter 2. I know I keep saying this but literally i stg. I'm going apeshit. do you know how hard it is to think about something for an entire year and never have the time, motivation, or energy at the same time to make it exist?? fucked up!! Before that though, I have a few things.

I TOLD you all that I would talk about an AU of mine, whichever was highest voted in that strawpoll I did, and then surprise i fuckin didnt do that. I would very very much like to do that! The problem, I realized, is that I operate super hard on a reactionary basis so I am not prone to talking about anything that is mine until prompted about it or given permission. Fucking, Wack. This is my house. I should be cringe and free but nooooo. Anyways, because of this, I am planning on doing 2 things -> Actually tell you guys about spirit keeper! You all voted for him back when, and especially with that ✨Fucking, Gorgeous✨ commission from Fronomeeps I got (for me birthday :]) I really really really want to do that. And post my art more. and shit like that. seriously i need to get out of my head or I'll explode. someone needs to scream about how cool these stories are with me or I'll dissolve. -> I am thinking of doing a day long event where I stream an Aggie/(Magma?) where I draw my AUs and let people hop in to join in (as long as it stays on topic!) as well as answering as many asks as I can about my many aus and basically setting you guys up to trick me into infodumping. Because let me tell you i have a year and a halfs worth of words in my head and i am 100% confident ingo and emmet enjoyers would really like to hear them. So I wanna do a big ask party Q&A and really get things rolling!! Hopefully with drawings and doodles involved! as a celebration for myself, and as a way to open up to the greater fandom (Please leave a comment if you think that sounds cool, I'm trying to gauge interest because if i went all out and no one showed up it would be Extremely Depressing!)

ON! THAT! TOPIC!!! I am actively (literally interspersed with as I am typing this) making a UQUIZ about all of my significant AUs. For the record, there are 23 results on this quiz. I currently only have 3/23 final results completed, but it is my active focus over the weekend to finish as many of those as I can to try and complete the entire thing within a week or less. Also poking at my phrasing here, when I say my significant aus I Mean It, I have more than 23, but these 23 are the ones with stories tangible enough to start somewhere and elaborate on. I have about 10 that I would consider my main AUs, but some of the smaller ones are huge sleeper favorites.

SO YEAH!!! PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO THAT AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU'RE INTERESTED!! I really wanna do fun stuff and get to know people in the fandom more than just. that person who wrote 1 chapter of a cool fic that one time. I have so much more to offer and I struggle so much to offer it. Please draw me out of my shell, I wish to enter the fandom sphere 🥺

thank you for giving me a great year <3 ((and hopefully the next one will be better <3))

#Status Update #AUs #Long Post #Ingo pokemon #Emmet pokemon #Submas #i feel a little bad about putting this on the main tags but im not joking when i say i really wanna break out of my head and do something #fun and exciting #Subway Boss Jericho Taking The PA System Aux

[truebiue]

the record being essentially an album full of love songs about friendships

I first listened to the album at a listening party and the whole time i was very emotional just thinking about their friendship - when i left the listening party i texted one of my friends “it feels like a bunch of love letters that they wrote for each other”. ever since i haven’t been able to not view The Record with a different mindset. This post is just me trying to put together all the lyrics I thought were the most linked and related to friendship and love. - I am a very big sucker for songs that are about friendships.

We’re In Love:

“you could absolutely break my heart, / that’s how i know that we’re in love”

“so put down the knife we’re not swapping blood”

“You listened like it mattered”

“Sing the song you wrote about me, never once checking the words” - this part which is a nod to the way each member has written songs about one another in their solo work.

“if you rewrite your life may i still play a part?”

Leonard Cohen:

The entirety of this song being about the road trip

“ ‘if you love me you will listen to this song’ ”

“didn’t tell you you were driving the wrong way / on the interstate until the song was done”

“but it gave us more time to embarrass ourselves / tellin’ stories we wouldn’t tell anyone else”

Cool about it: - although this song to me personally feels more like a failed love there’s one line that can be used for a multitude of different relationships.

“once i took your medication to know what it’s like / now i have to act like i can’t read your mind” - to me personally this feels like they’re making an effort to understand each other, going through this trouble to take someone’s ‘medication’ to be able to understand their emotions and feelings and when they do they have to pretend they don’t in some ways.

Without You Without Them:

“Talk to me / Until the words run dry / We’ll see eye to eye”

“I want you to hear my story and be a part of it” - very clearly indicating to that line in ‘We’re In Love’

Revolution 0 :

“If it isn’t love, then what the fuck is it?”

True Blue:

“And it feels good to be known so well”

“I cant hide from you like i hide from myself”

“I remember who i am when I’m with you”

Not Strong Enough:

“drag racing through the canyon / singing boys don’t cry” - in an interview when they talked about going on a road trip

“skip the exit to our old street and go home”

Satanist:

“will you be a satanist with me?”

“will you be an anarchist with me?”

“will you be a nihilist with me?”

Letter to an Old Poet:

“i wanna be happy im ready” - they’ve talked in interviews about helping each other and they’re clearly the happiest ever when they are together.

These are just some of the lyrics i could come up with, there are definitely so many more that i have missed out on.

#boygenuis #julien baker #phoebe bridgers #lucy dacus #the record boygenius

[bhaaliestspawn]

And for the record I would never say no because the last time I did there was a whole 3 day long argument and he was not happy with the end result but hey gotta get the umbrella somehow even if the eggs are overcooked and that's why I stopped volunteering for the peddle run lord knows they have plenty of them but when you hear that voice the pickle juice leaves your body and ngl Tuesday was rough but I'm totally blaming the lack of sleep before all the doors got locked and who else would climb up to the 3rd floor if not the smoll one very versatile in tight spaces and I said as much before everything went dark and the only smell was that of a salted tomato memories that'll last us forever even if you replace all the light bulbs there will still always be time for tea and that's what keeps up in shape.

listen to me now anon please listen really carefully. few weeks ago i tried baking a cheesecake for the very first time ever and for me, personally, it is a feat to be forever memorized because i am simply not a master of the culinary arts, never was and never will be. it was a scary experience but as i was taking out the cake form i felt very self-assured that i was going to rock it because there i saw it i saw the hole. i thought to myself well do you know who else has a hole. the little one is so crunchable punchable bitable fistable chewable , crispy like a fried cheese ball but so very soft on the inside, melted cheese all runny and nasty, running down my chin so slorpy. a grilled cheese girlfriend if i ever saw one, i just know that if id bite into the crispy wrinkly exterior, the runny soft cheese goo would get all over me but also all over his cum gutters . so i thought to myself well since cheese and hole go so well together… with this in mind i went through my first ever cheesecake procedure and as it was sweating and caking in the oven (preheated to 180C btw if u care) , i thought to myself well sometimes what u gotta do is try something u have never tried before and maybe it will work out or maybe it won’t work out idk im just saying shit to be honest i literally will cry if something doesn’t go my way. but at the same time, it is so true, because if the small one tonsured himself willingly for all the world to see then who am i to doubt myself and my ability to bake a cheesed cake, need to believe in myself a little, need a little confidence like little paul landers from berlin, that insane bitch who tonsured himself so hard it stayed with him forever. once he said that sometimes they change haircuts but then he hasn’t changed it for 22 years, do you ever think about that and do you even care . anyway. fast forward to a few days ago my mother was asking me abt the cheesed cake as i was having a manetol illiniosis breakdown so i told her the recipe though i didn’t tell her of the hole allegories and prophecies and visions, but i didn’t need to because she told me “don’t cry ok. 2023 u shall fuck the old man okay? don’t cry ok.” well sometimes all u need to do is believe a little in what ur elders are saying i think. isnt the passage of time insane anyway, literally fuckign mad that that on their first album ever they said “years will seem like minutes“ who says that on a penis music debut album what in the fuck !!!! also you need to bake the cheesecake for twenty-five to thirty minutes but i actually baked it for thirty-five because my oven just isn’t that good. something to keep in mind i suppose.

#ask #what are we talking about btw