#so they’d have no reason to think he’s a con initially despite him being EXTREMELY suspicious

[thewiglesswonder]

Taking another shot at Animated Knock Out. I feel like it’d be fun if he were to interact with Team Prime for a while, before going full-time Con.

#like. in terms of Animated he’s an Autobot defector not a warbuild from the get go #so they’d have no reason to think he’s a con initially despite him being EXTREMELY suspicious #and he’d clash with almost every member of Team Prime #he’d keep the thing from tfp going and flirt with Optimus #he and Ratchet would hate each other on medical principle #Bumblebee is losing his mind because he can’t stand KO being faster/prettier than him #Knock Out is here to Be Hot and Cause Problems. and he’s already Hot #my art #tf #tfa #tfp #transformers #transformers animated #transformers prime #maccadam #knockout #knock out #tfp knockout #optimus prime #tfa optimus prime

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

Hello if you're not comfortable doing this please ignore - but how would the brothers from obey me react if they found mc self harming?

CW: Mention and discussion of self harm.

Heads up: I’m not an Expert on this - I know a bit about what it’s like, but let’s just say it’s not the typical horizontal scars (or even super visible longterm at all), so I don’t know much about things like that. Nor do I know what the proper protocol is if you find someone self-harming, so please don’t take this as any kind of advice. (Plus even if I knew Exactly what it is you’re supposed to do, this is the brothers’ reactions: they’re not gonna be experts either, certainly not on the fly with someone so close to them)

I repeat: I’m not an expert and this should not be taken as advice.

If you’re struggling with self harm or suicidal ideation, please consider taking a look at some of these websites/numbers.

I know it can be rough, but trust me, the pros of staying here and taking care of yourself outweigh the cons.

Obey Me: The Brothers Find MC Self Harming

Lucifer

Protective Older Brother Mode™ Engaged. His more immediate concern is stopping them from continuing, especially if it looks like they’re at risk of dying or seriously damaging themself. Any lighter/blade/etc. is getting taken out of their hands asap. He might hurt them a little bit if they resist, more from the sheer difference in strength than anything else.

Next step is cleaning and bandaging any wounds they have. His first instinct is the bathroom, but if they (quite understandably) don’t want to walk around the House of Lamentation with their self-harm injuries out, he’ll go get them and bring them back to their room (keeping whatever implement they were using on him, of course).

Despite his initial urgency, he’s very careful when dressing their injuries. Once that’s taken care of, he’ll ask them point-blank why they were doing what they were doing. He’s not stupid, he knows they were self-harming the second he found them, but he wants to hear their explanation.

Whether or not they tell him, he’s still tense like a live wire is running through him: he’s used to his brothers getting hurt because of recklessness or war injuries rip, but someone deliberately hurting themselves for no apparent reason is a little out of his wheelhouse. He doesn’t want to upset the MC further, but he also can’t allow this behaviour to continue.

In the end, the two reach a compromise: whenever they feel like hurting themself, they’ll let him know, and he’ll keep them company and try and take their mind off it until the urge passes.

And if they relapse, he’ll help them with tending to the wounds.

Mammon

Mammon’s… probably one of the worst to catch MC self-harming tbh, in terms of keeping his cool. In the panic of seeing blood or burns, he might not even connect the dots right away and think they’d been attacked by something. But if he sees the MC holding what they’ve been using to hurt themselves…

It’s like a bucket of cold water was dropped on him. He’s horrified, he’s furious - not with them, but in a more cosmic sense that being powerless can cause - he’s yelling; what are you doing, how could you, how long, how did he not notice how his human was feeling-?!

He suddenly pulls the MC in for a hug, and they can feel his tears on their back. Every single time he’s called them a stupid, weak human is running through his mind like a sick movie, and there’s a part of him that thinks it’s his fault that MC feels so terribly about themself that they’d do this.

He’s not good at first aid, but by god (or Diavolo, I guess?) he tries to wrap up MC’s wounds. It doesn’t help that he’s still quite shaky, but in the end they have a thick, sloppily wrapped layer of gauze on their injuries.

For a little while after, he’ll be even more clingy than usual, refusing to leave the MC’s side unless absolutely necessary. If the attention is suffocating, they’ll have to let him know, and reassure him that they won’t hurt themself while he’s gone for it to subside even a little bit. His tsundere act drops a fair bit too. He’ll still boast about being the GREAT Mammon, but any digs at them are extremely rare and even more tentative (they’d have to have another chat with him if this difference in treatment bothered them).

If the MC wanted to keep it a secret from the other brothers, Mammon would try and respect that, but he’ll inevitably ask one of them for help and they’ll figure out something is up pretty quick. Maybe not with MC specifically, but there is a strong suspicion. If they did figure it out, he’d make them swear not to tell MC or treat them differently: he doesn’t want them to feel worse.

Leviathan

Levi is no stranger to issues of self-esteem, but this is another level for him. He’d kind of freeze on the spot for a moment, unsure of what to do; social skills aren’t his forte in the best of circumstances and this… even if he wasn’t a shut-in, he’s not sure how he’d handle this.

He squeaked out the MC’s name when he first entered their room, and they’re now locked in a grim staring contest. If they don’t move or say anything, he’ll slowly close the door and approach them. If they flinch away, he’ll cringe and briefly panic, but steel himself and stick around. MC’s his best friend, and they need him right now.

Hey… he says. It’s okay… Well, it’s actually super extremely not okay, but I’m not mad or anything, you know? Pause. I… I never thought someone like you would do this. You’re so brave, and cool, and smart, and… you see something in a yucky otaku like me. You helped me be - you’re my best friend, alright? You’re an amazing, strong person, and don’t you forget it!

The Avatar of Envy knows that emotions can make one do irrational things, and he wants MC to know that he doesn’t think any less of them for this. When they’re all bandaged up, he pulls out a roll of TSL or Ruri-chan themed stickers and practically covers MC’s dressings in them. Then he does the same to himself, so if anyone sees and asks about it, he’ll say it’s just a friend thing they did together.

Levi still has a tendency to stay in his room more often than not, but now makes a point to check up on MC every so often, usually when they get home from school or at night. If they seem down or tell him they’re having thoughts of hurting themself again, he’ll invite them to play a no-stress game with him or watch some lighthearted anime. He’ll also avoid anything that could trigger you in your normal binge-watching sessions.

Satan

Satan doesn’t trust himself to move or even speak when he finds MC self-harming. He’s scared; scared that they’ll go too far, scared that he’ll say the wrong thing, scared that he’ll hurt them further if he slips up and snaps at them, scared to move.

Move, he thinks to himself, do something.

Without a word, he goes and grabs some first aid supplies. If anyone asks him what he’s doing or tries to bother him about something else, he’ll snap at them; he’s frazzled enough that he might even slip into his demon form.

This will sting, but it’s a good disinfectant. Good, focus on what he’s doing. It’s concrete, he knows this. Once MC is taken care of, he reluctantly asks them how long they’ve been doing this. Where they keep their supplies. How often.

He won’t ask why. He knows how it feels to want to destroy something so much you’ll turn on yourself.

If they’re comfortable with it, he’ll do everything he can to help. Harm reduction methods, finding alternative activities, keep MC distracted when they’re not feeling well, help them “ride the wave” (where whenever you feel the urge to self harm, you stop and wait 15 minutes - if you still feel that way, wait another 15, until it passes), anything to help them. Either way, he’s reading up on all he can about self-harm and how to help someone struggling with it.

He’ll do a lot of the alternate activities with MC so they don’t feel weird about doing it alone. Asmo once asked them what the hell they were doing holding ice cubes in their mouths and Satan’s response was to spit his out at his brother at a velocity that left a dent in the wall. He’ll also ask if they want to join him on his walks.

Also, because you’ll take the headcanon that Satan volunteers at the devildom equivalent of the SPCA out of my cold, dead hands, pet therapy! Provided MC isn’t allergic/doesn’t have an issue with cats, he’ll invite them to come with him and meet and pet the cats. It’s very hard to feel any sort of negative emotion when surrounded by cats, after all.

Asmodeus

Oh. This is why MC was so reluctant to let him dress them up.

Asmo has enough self esteem to rival the entirety of Hollywood’s divas, but he loves MC just as much, if not more, than himself. It breaks his heart to know that they don’t feel the same way about themselves.

He can’t charm them, but that doesn’t stop him from gently trying to coax them to put down the implement they’re using to hurt themself. Once he has it, he goes to get first aid supplies. MC hears a particularly loud THUNK as something is whipped into the garbage with uncharacteristic aggression.

Asmo will carefully and gently patch them up, finishing his handiwork with soft kisses on top of everywhere that was injured. He wants MC to know that they’re loved, and important, and that this doesn’t change any of that.

If they have scars that they want to cover up, he’ll at first encourage them to be proud of their battle scars, but if they really don’t want others to see them, he’ll create a whole new wardrobe for MC that is both stylish and covers up what they’d like to keep hidden. He almost certainly has knowledge of and access to all sorts of skincare products that can help scars heal and fade, if MC would like that.

For every time he has something nice to say about himself, he will say something nice about MC too. In fact, MC will find that Asmo is always offering them spa trips, to come to this or that party, to check out the latest sale at Majolish... If ever they need something to distract them, Asmo is there.

They’ll find little notes in elegant cursive hidden all over their room. Sometimes they’re compliments, or flirty puns related to where the note is. Other times they’re gentle reminders -messages like don’t forget to take your medicine! and stay hydrated for you and your skin! line the bathroom mirror.

One way or another, Asmo won’t let MC forget that even if they don’t feel good about themself, someone else sure does.

Beelzebub

Beel already has a history with losing loved ones, and like Lucifer, panics a bit upon finding MC self-harming. He’ll quickly get rid of whatever it is they’re using to hurt themself, and MC will have a hard time trying to stop him. Expect lots of tears and hugs as he helps them get cleaned up.

He asks MC why they’d ever want to do that to themself. Do they not want to live? Do they think no one would care? Because Beel absolutely cares and very much wants them to live.

MC has now acquired one (1) Self-Care-Maintenance Demon. Beelzebub refuses to let them neglect themself in any way: no skipping meals, no missing schoolwork, no time for downward spirals, Beel will help however he can to keep MC on top of things. Even if it means going hungry for a while, he can’t really eat anything until he’s sure they’re okay.

This isn’t to say that Beel is some sort of drill sergeant, not by any means. If MC is too bogged down to handle something, he’ll either take care of it, or help them find some sort of work around. His goal is to minimize their distress, so they don’t feel like doing that ever again.

He’s not totally naive though: he understands that these things don’t go away in a day. Whenever MC feels the urge to harm themselves, Beel is there: is MC up for a workout? How about popping by Hell’s Kitchen with him? Do they... can he hug them?

Basically, he wants to ease their pain however he can. He’s lost people before, and he refuses to do so again, not if he can help it.

Belphegor

Belphie is no stranger to self-harm, though his is more in the form of neglect. He feels like he doesn’t deserve those things, so why bother? Seeing MC self-harming though... it’s a wake-up call for the Avatar of Sloth. They both can’t keep doing this.

Honestly, the two become a bit of a mess for a while. Belphie wants to help them and make sure they’re okay, so much so that he starts overworking himself without regard for his own wellbeing, which makes MC feel guilty, so they overwork to help him, but this aggravates their symptoms, which upsets Belphie because he’s trying to help and it’s not working! - and they both end up an exhausted, sobbing mess on the floor, cry-yelling at each other to stop being so stubborn and just let me help you!

At that, Belphegor starts laughing. We’re really bad at this... he says with a sardonic smile. If MC is the type, they may start laughing with him.

From there, the two decide to make a pact (no, not that kind): they will work together to both help themselves, and each other. No mutually assured exhaustion, no destructive cycles of overworking, just support and stumbling into becoming functional together.

MC helps keep Belphegor awake during classes, and Belphegor makes sure MC sleeps through the night. They have their meals together. If one of them is feeling down, the other one is there to comfort them. This involves a lot of game nights with Beel, and of course the healing power of naps, Belphie’s version of the fifteen minute rule.

If MC is really struggling, Belphie will take them up to the planetarium and arrange a game: if they can name all the constellations in the sky in 20 minutes, he won’t stop them from getting their lighter/blade/etc. Regardless of how many MC manages to name, he always says they missed some, even if he makes them up.

You forgot Faustus Minor.

You’re making that one up!

Nope. Iblis’ Tunic too. Guess you’re stuck for another 20 minutes of cuddles.

(I hope this is satisfactory!)

#Anonymous #obey me #obey me headcanon #cw: self harm #self harm tw #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #if they seem wildly different from each other in terms of what i cover #it's because i wrote them at different times #so i apologize for the lack of consistency #mine #my writing

[stopfakerapeclaims-blog]

THIS GUY IS FALSELY ACCUSED, STOP SLANDERING HIM. HOW COULD YOU TERRIBLE PEOPLE ATTACK A VICTIM OF A FALSE ACCUSATIONLIKE YOU DID. I HAVE VIDEO PROOF OF MY INNOCENCE. I NEVER wanted to post something like this, but the threats made on my life have given me no other choice.But being a victim of false accusations is extremely damaging AND dangerous. But unfortunately there aren't going to be 200+ shares of my side of the story, because the truth is not as sensational as a dramatic lie.As I said before, I did not want to do this, it feels violating and wrong, but I am absolutely sickened by the false rape claims and rumors going around about me from "Aria" (on facebook) ie "Stephanie" (as I knew her). We went to Japan together in 2016, where she came on to me and seduced ME the second night we were there. We had a consensual relationship over the entire course of this trip. I took a consensual video during our first encounter, and it VERY clearly shows that it was NOTHING like what she is claiming now, years later. She stated “He decided to take what he wanted by force,” which is so entirely the opposite of what actually happened - in this video she can be heard saying “yes”, “please more”, and “yeah”. Its the definition of not only consent, but enthusiastic consent, which is a very important distinction.WHY did I record this? Because her and I were friends and I thought it would be something we would have fun watching together later. I asked before I recorded us together. I don't EVER record something private without the other person knowing. It would be deceitful and ruin the moment entirely to do so.My lawyers advised me that it would be dangerous to release the video on the internet - she could claim it was revenge porn or harassment, even if it was ONLY done with the intention of defending myself, and that’s why you can just listen to the audio here:https://streamable.com/zxkqi So the question is, WHY is she saying I raped her? I can’t BEGIN to guess what’s going on in someone else’s head, or why they’d lie about something so devastating and traumatic, but Wikipedia lists ELEVEN possible reasons for false accusations of rape (I will list them below). All I can do is share the facts from that trip as I know themYou see, that entire trip me and Stephanie started arguing about the last person on the trip, we'll call him "J" to respect his privacy, who complained the entire trip. Stephanie and I disagreed on how to handle it, my approach trying to be to ignore the behavior and hope he learned to deal with his problems maturely, and Stephanie was taking his side by trying to coddle him and condone his actions. A lot of the problems were him refusing to leave the room to trips and food with all of us possibly because he misunderstood and thought he had to pay for everything when I was in fact paying for it, or perhaps he didn't like the idea of me paying for everything (despite it being a company trip so he was fully covered by the organization) I can’t know which it was for sure.I tried many times over the trip to calm J down and explain that he didn't need to worry so much, but the stress of being in Japan was too much for him. Traveling and being in a foregin country can be really stressful for some people! The last and most extreme moment was when we stepped off the bus in front of the Takadanobaba station and he started violently hitting himself in the forehead with his hand on a public street. I don't know why, I think maybe he forgot something. It was a level of behaviour that was beyond what I had ever dealt with personally and none of us were equipped to help him. When he was stressed sometimes he would make a strange whining noise and bite down on his arm hard in front of people, and that was alarming enough, but this was the final straw in him working for us as a company, and there I made the decision that he wouldn't be working with the conventions going forward. We take on almost anyone as a volunteer, because I believe everyone deserves at least a first chance despite any disorders or problems them may have socially, but sadly it doesn’t always work out in the end, like with J. Stephanie and I fought a lot all trip long about “J” to no resolve. Stephanie is still friends with this person, they’re friends on Facebook and they were one of the first to share Stephanie’s post. Maybe this is some kind of “revenge” for not being nice enough to her friend. But again, how can I really know what someone else is thinking? I can only make educated guesses.I do know that Stephanie has bipolar disorder, and I tried helping her through her issues when we were friends. I learned she had been sexually assaulted before, and I had always felt really bad for her, as anyone would. We spent hours and hours talking in Japan, hanging out, watching movies, cuddling, and yes, sex too. What motivates her actions now, I have no idea, but there are eleven possible reasons listed on wikipedia: confusion, revenge, material gain, producing an alibi, memory conformity, recovered memory therapy, attention, sympathy, a disturbed mental state, relabeling, and regret.With Stephanie there were no drugs, no excessive drinking, no coercion of any kind. I did not threaten to send her home. I did not try or even consider withholding any events or activities from her. SHE wanted to spend time with ME and hang out with me. I flirted with her online, we sent dozens of memes back and forth too, and then in person SHE always initiated everything. Putting her hand on my leg, scooting closer to me, making sexual innuendos, overall being quite clear about her intentionsHOW can you get in a fight with someone and then automatically claim that all past consensual sex you had was rape? Changing your mind months later does not make something rape. In the past I haven't ever been able to defend myself with hard proof because I didn't know where the rumors were coming from. I've gotten threats to my own safety because of these claims. I had people say they will boycott my cons because of these claims. I’ve had people mercilessly harass my friends and family because of these claims. But her own words are PROVABLY false.As anyone would, I kept a screenshot of exactly what she said at first. “After I made it clear that I wasn't interested, he decided to take what he wanted by force. This was on one of the first days of a month long trip.”That’s what she said, and it’s plain as day not true. I know that now somehow the story will magically change - it’s called “moving the goalpost”, where now instead of “force” she will claim something like coercion, or change her story entirely. When people are caught in a lie they often change their story, suddenly remember things differently, and make up new lies to cover their original lies that were seen through. I know some people won’t believe me no matter what proof I have because they’ve made up their minds about me and the situation. Maybe they have a personal issue with me and this fits their narrative that I’m a bad personFalse rape accusations are tragically real and more common than one would think. Some people say the number is "barely 2%" - but multiple studies conducted in a wide variety of manners have concluded numbers from 2% as high as 25%. Read wikipedia, there are numerous academically-backed studies on there. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_accusation_of_rapeI'm so sorry to any of my friends who have had to deal with drama because of this person. I know friends who know me incredibly well have had to defend my name because they heard about rumors or are friends with someone who believes this.Now, do not bully, slander, or harass this person under any circumstances. I don't want you to harass them, I don’t want to make them ‘pay’, or make them suffer like I have, I only want to be left alone myself to live my life. DO share this message as far and wide as you can. I am so hurt by these absolutely malicious attacks that I don't deserve. I strive to run the safest and most welcoming conventions in the world, with people by my side who feel even stronger than I do about it! Thank you for reading all of this and supporting me through this awful time.

#ryan kopf #cancelkopf #anime midwest #animecon.org #fake rape claims

[xmagicxshopx]

⏳ Chaos ⏳

Genre: Idol Life, Fantasy Adventure, Romance, Comedy Rating: PG-13 Warnings: mild language, Tae’s dad is a jerk Pairing: Taehyung x reader Notes: demigod!bts au but also idol!bts. Single quote marks ‘ ‘ are for thoughts and double “ “ are for talking. Additional Notes: I know a lot of the idols’ activities are not chronologically correct but just go with it. XD

Tagging: @temptaestions because she’s a cutie who requested something fun~

Summary: Kim Taehyung of BTS just wants someone to go with him to the Seoul Fashion Week event. But when everyone else is busy, he’s left with no choice but to hire an escort.

“Sorry, buddy. I’ve got a movie I’m just starting to film. But maybe try Tiffany? She always goes to those. Never misses a year.”

“Ooohhh. Sorry, TaeTae. But I’m actually in America right now on tour. Maybe next year? I’m super bummed I’m missing it, though!”

“Hey, Tae! Ah--- Sorry, my friend, but I just started promotions for my solo. You’ve listened to it, right?”

Call after call, friend after friend, it all had the poor boy coming up short. All Kim Taehyung wanted was for someone to go with him to the Seoul Fashion Week event so he wouldn’t have to go alone. Now.....One would think that living with six other guys and a contact list long enough to circle the globe three times......Surely someone was available?

Namjoon was too busy being Bangtan’s amazing leader. Jin claimed he’d rather watch paint dry. Yoongi was napping and you don’t dare wake Min Yoongi when he’s napping. Hoseok was already treating himself to a spa day.

Jimin would have gone but Jeon “The Brat” Jungkook snatched him up first. They were off doing lord knows what. That of course left the youngest out too which was fine because he had horrible fashion sense anyway. The kid’s closet had to be nothing but t-shirts three sizes too big and baggy pants to go with them. Oh.....and bucket hats.......

Since his six brothers were unavailable, Taehyung resorted to his long list of idol friends. This proved to be futile as he went down the list faster than he expected. Everyone was just so gosh darn busy. Whether it be acting, touring, solo promotions, and even military service! It never ended! However, when he was just about to give up while on the phone with his good friend from VIXX, Hakyeon, it was then that the darker skinned male spoke up.

“Try hiring an escort. You can’t go wrong there.”

“An escort?”

“Yeah! Basically you contact a company who specializes in that kind of stuff. You know, someone to keep you company for an event of your choice. You tell them what you’re looking for and they’ll hook you up with one of their employees.”

The young man sat there at the end of his bed as he thought about it. Sure, Taehyung knew of those types of companies but he had never ever considered using one before. Then again, he never really had a reason to. He had always been surrounded by either Bangtan or his other famous friends. There was never any need for a complete stranger.

“I’ll think about it. Thanks for the idea, hyung. Stay safe out there, okay?”

“Will do, Tae. Good luck with everything! Gotta go. Duty calls.”

Just like that, the young lad was left alone once more. He sat there fiddling with his phone in his hands as he contemplated on whether or not he should seriously consider the idea of hiring an escort. A complete stranger. Granted, Taehyung could be quite the social butterfly, but still. Given his extreme social status, would it be safe? What if he got stuck with some employee who was a crazy fan? There was so much that could go wrong here.

Then again......There was also a lot that could go right. Just like with anything else. He had to weigh the pros and cons and decide from there. Even though he could get stuck with someone crazy, he could also end up making a new friend. Perhaps the person would be pleasant and professional? Not to mention he really really didn’t want to go alone.

“Oh why the hell not? I won’t know till I try, right?”

That was how Taehyung found himself just a few days later standing in front of his full length mirror. He adjusted his tie as he tried to decide if it was the one he actually wanted. Did it go with the rest of his outfit? Did it complement his suit jacket? His hair? Should he go crazy and color it before the event?

While he bustled around making sure he was completely ready, he thought about his escort. Upon calling, he had been 100% up front with the receptionist and explained that he had no idea what he was doing. They simply asked him a few questions and mailed him various forms to fill out and sign and poof, instant companion for the event.

During the small questionnaire, Taehyung was asked if he had a preference of male or female for this event and he spoke up honestly that it didn’t matter. He just wanted polite company that he could gush about fashion with. So it was no surprise to him when he got an email confirmation from the company stating details that his escort was a female in her early 20s.

The plan sounded simple and looked simple on paper. Have a nice meal in a secluded place to help break the ice, go to the event, have a good time, and part ways. But Taehyung was smart enough to know that it wasn’t going to be quite that simple. Again.....So much could go wrong or it could go right. Only time would tell. Speaking of, it was time for him to head out.

“I can do this.”

To try and keep things as secret as possible for as long as possible, the plan was to have a BigHit Ent vehicle take him to the back of the agency building where he’d meet his companion for the day. He’d then hop in to join the escort company’s vehicle where they’d drive to the restaurant of his choosing.

He wasn’t a complete idiot. Taehyung knew the minute he arrived at the carpet with the escort that the media would go crazy. All he asked was for a nice, quiet meal with this stranger beforehand. Being sneaky and secretive like this was the only way he knew how. Sometimes being a idol was very exhausting in the sense of trying to enjoy simple things such as a nice meal with someone.

The closer he got to the agency building, the more anxious and nervous the poor boy was becoming. He figured his companion for the day would be pretty but would they match? Hence why he kept his outfit fairly neutral as far as colors go. He appreciated the company but this was a fashion event and he really didn’t want to arrive looking like a mismatched pair of socks.

This was it. They were here. Time to get out and face the music. Taking a deep breath to help center himself, Taehyung climbed out of his agency vehicle and made his way for the back of the limousine where he carefully opened the door and climbed inside.

“Greetings, Mr. Kim. I am your escort for today.”

Whoa. You were absolutely gorgeous. Everything from the shape of your face, eyes, nose, lips. Despite you sitting down, he could tell you had amazing curves. That was when he finally took in your attire for the event. Thank goodness! It would appear either yourself or the company he hired you from was knowledgeable in the fashion industry. Dare he say, the two of could end up being the best matched guests there today.

“He-Hello. It’s nice to meet you.”

You had to admit, when the company you worked for explained that you would be assigned to thee Kim Taehyung of BTS, you were a little surprised. Upon hearing that it was for the Seoul Fashion Week event, you did your research and was glad to see that it paid off. He seemed pretty impressed by the look on his face. You found it cute and endearing.

“It’s my understanding we’ll be eating first, Mr. Kim?”

“Ta-Taehyung is fine. There’s no need for being formal. But, yes, that’s right. I thought we could maybe take that time to smooth over any awkwardness.”

“You mean like right now?”

You smiled at him and couldn’t help how adorable he looked all flustered like that. It was more than obvious that it was his first time using such a thing as an escort company. Not that you were here to judge. The same warm smile still on your face, you decided to help break that ice cube of awkwardness and asked casually,

“Where to, Taehyung?”

That seemed to be enough to snap him back to reality. Blinking a couple times, he pulled himself together and with a soft cough to help clear his dry throat, he looked between you and the driver and said casually,

“Yes. There’s a nice place that’s secluded just down the road a few blocks from here.”

After stating the actual name of the restaurant, the driver instantly knew where the young man was referring to and so began driving from the back parking lot, out onto the streets. Trying not to seem as awkward as initially, Taehyung looked over at you and smiled a bit timidly.

“So how long have you been in the escorting business?”

It wasn’t till the words had already came flying out of his mouth that he considered the question might come across as being insensitive or rude. Just as he was about to backpedal and apologize, you perked up with a smile and replied casually,

“Not that long, actually. I’m in my early 20s and I applied as soon as I was of age. I still believe it was my looks that got me in and not my smarts.”

“Well----If I may say, you really are beautiful. Gorgeous even.”

You thought he was extremely cute with the way the tips of his ears were turning pink. After watching so many interviews and following BTS in the news and your free time, you never would have imagined that this young man would be nervous about anything. But then again......Even Kim Taehyung of BTS was human.

“Thank you, Taehyung. And you look handsome as always.”

The small talk ended sooner than the young man would have liked. Thankfully it wouldn’t be long before they could pick things back up as he was now carefully getting out of the vehicle and jogging around to help you out of the car but you had already beaten him to it; getting out yourself.

“What’s with the pout, Taehyung?”

“I was going to be a gentleman and open the door for you.”

You smiled warmly at him only to nudge your head towards the restaurant entrance; silently telling him to follow you. It was now more obvious than ever that the poor boy was a first time user. Still smiling, you explained casually but with a tone of endearment,

“I’m trying to keep you out of trouble, Mr. Kim. If you know what I mean.”

The gears were turning and you could practically hear them as the greeter out front passed along two menus to another employee and they had the two of you follow to somewhere further back in the restaurant. A place far more secluded to where no prying eyes could watch you.

Upon sitting down, the employee placed down the menus and politely explained who their server would be and was off in a flash. It wasn’t till he finally had a chance to sit down that he looked up at you sheepishly; understanding clearly hitting him now.

“Thanks for.......I never even thought about the media seeing us like that.”

“It’s okay, Taehyung. Your heart was in the right place and that means a lot. In my few years at the company, you’re the most sweetest client I’ve ever had.”

The way you worded things gave him a huge reality check. One that he probably needed. Client. That’s all he was. This wasn’t a date. This wasn’t a date. He had to keep reminding himself of that. It was his own fault, really. Choosing such a nice restaurant like this to have a nice meal before heading out. But.....did he want this to be a date??? Why was he even thinking about that right now? He knew darn well dating wasn’t plausible for him right now.

“I think I’m going to take the salad. It looks good.”

“Hmm. Sounds good. What else are you getting with it? Their steak looks good.”

“Oh I’ll be getting just the salad. Nothing else with it.”

For the first time since meeting, it was now your turn to become sheepish and nervous. Usually there wasn’t an issue. Mostly because your clients didn’t care. You were just a bag of flesh meant to look pretty on their arm for a number of random events. But this man right here......he was different. Kim Taehyung was definitely different.

He stared at you with furrowed eyebrows and a look that was the perfect mixture of worry and confusion. Sure he had said the salad sounded good but that was just him being polite. He had been here plenty of times and he’d seen the salad you were referring to. There was practically nothing to it. There was no way that was going to fill you up for the rest of the day.

“Wh----”

“I’m really not that hungry. So I’m going to eat light.”

As if higher power was against you today, your stomach growled an ungodly sound and you wanted nothing more than to fall through the floor and never see the light of day again. Oh how the tables have turned. There you sat with a huge pout on your face while he looked amused but was trying to remain cool about it.

“Look----It’s the company. I have to retain a strict diet and certain weight if I want to stay employed.”

It was highly unprofessional but the words just came flying out of your mouth before you could think it through. Not to mention Taehyung carried this aura about him that just made it so.......easy. He was so easy to talk to. He held a special warmth in his eyes that practically begged you to open up and spill all your worries and fears.

“Oh gosh---I’m so sorry, Tae. I should have never told you that. I----”

“Screw the company.”

“H-Huh?”

“I said......Screw the company.”

There the two of you sat. You in shock and him giving you a stern but......There was something else in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place. Regardless, you could tell he was serious about his words. Gosh were you blushing??? Kim Taehyung was definitely your most interesting client so far. That’s for sure.

“Eat what you want.”

“But----”

“No buts. Part of my request was that I have a nice meal with good company. You work for me today and I want to see you eating whatever you want.”

He had no idea where this sudden boldness was coming from, but he found himself leaning back into his chair with his hands clasped behind his head; cradling his skull and a smug smile on his face. Now this was the Kim Taehyung most people were used to seeing. In a warm but teasing tone, he asked softly,

“You wouldn’t want to disappoint your client now, would you?”

Oh he was good. You had to give him that. What a sly young man he was. Biting your bottom lip and glancing back down at the menu, Taehyung knew he had already won the battle. It was honestly ridiculous, though. What kind of......well.....who was he kidding? It was all about looking the prettiest and thinnest these days. It was sad but the harsh reality all the same.

“The steak does sound pretty delicious.”

“That’s what I was thinking. Good choice.”

With that, drinks were ordered and two steak meals were placed. You sat there in disbelief and it was evident all over your face. There was a split second where the poor boy thought maybe he had sent you into some kind of frozen state of shock. Blinking out of your stupor, you cleared your throat and spoke up softly, almost timidly.

“Thank you.....”

“For what?”

What exactly were you thanking him for? Even you yourself weren’t sure. But as you sat there and thought about it while sipping on your ice water, you cleared your throat once more and replied slowly as if still thinking about it,

“For treating me as a real person and not someone you hired to keep you company.”

The whole atmosphere seemed to soften as your words lingered in the air between you. Never before had you spoke such words during a job. Then again.....there was nothing normal or routine about this particular work order. No. Kim Taehyung made sure of that. Said male sported a soft and warm smile as he spoke just as much,

“That’s because you are a real person.”

The rest of the meal went by fairly well with no more awkward confessions about your job being less than perfect. Although Taehyung did learn that you actually went to school for cosmetology and that you’d one day like to try and get a job as either a hair or makeup stylist. The young man found you interesting and often found himself ignoring his meal just so his full and undivided attention was on you as you spoke.

The ice had definitely been broken and the two of you were on your way to the event. In fact, things were so chill between you two that you had actually started calling him Tae or even TaeTae. It was cute how his ears tried to turn pink every time you said it. Yep. Out of all the work orders how had ever fulfilled, this one was definitely your favorite. You could get used to being Taehyung’s escort.

“Wow......That’s the best meal I’ve had in.......”

“Since you became of age?”

The two of you looked at each other and soft laughter and chuckles filled the vehicle. Nodding, you sat there buckled up but gently patted and rubbed at your stomach. How long had it been since you felt so warm and full before? Gosh you could totally take a nap right here. However, sleeping would have to wait because you still had a job to fulfill.

“So are you into fashion? I hope this won’t be boring for you.”

You lightly waved your hand as if to swat at a fly while shaking your head. Wanting to further explain, you spoke up casually,

“I have specific tastes but I have no doubt that I’ll be able to appreciate the work we’re about to go see. Honestly I’ve always wanted to go to this event but I’ve always had to work.”

Relief internally flooded through the boy’s veins as he listened. Good. Good good. The last thing he wanted was to sit there next to someone who was incredibly bored with something that he found extremely interesting. Dare he say it but......It was almost like you were......perfect for him.

As he expected, the minute he arrived at the outdoor carpeted entrance, cameras were all over him. He wanted to give you a glance but fortunately one of the media employees was practically demanding that the two of you look at each other. Finally given the perfect excuse to check on you and see how you were holding up with his fame, he was surprised to see you doing very well.

Your smile was warm and bright and so.....natural. Was it a genuine smile or one that you reserved for work? If Taehyung was any kind of bold, he’d love to ask you the minute they got a moment alone but nope. Too chicken. Not gonna go there. The media kept asking who you were and how long you had known the idol but you kept things professional and just remained silent. You were good. Really good.

“Wow. Sorry about that. They were crazy out there.”

With soft laughter, you simply shook your head and leaned over to speak so that you could be heard over all the noise.

“You’re Kim Taehyung of BTS, it’s to be expected.”

The event went smoothly. Both of you just as adamant and into it as anyone else. The young man watched your eyes light up with the most beautiful kind of innocence he had ever seen. You were like a child as you watched model after model walk down the runway. Whenever Taehyung would explain a certain piece to you, he could tell you were listening with your full attention; genuinely interested in what he had to say.

Yep. You were perfect for him.

“Wow! That was so much fun, Tae! I had no idea fashion could be so exciting!”

You were giddy and it was one of the most adorable things Taehyung had ever witnessed. It was as if you were literally high on happiness. Your smile was brighter than the night sky as the two of you sat in the limousine driving back to the BigHit agency building. For some reason.....his heart was sinking the closer they got. It was then that he suddenly asked,

“You wanna go somewhere else? I........I’m not ready to......to say goodbye.....”

It was bold. He knew it. You knew it. You both knew it. Yet....You wanted it too. You weren’t ready to say goodbye either. This had been the most enjoyable day of your life in several months. Years even. It didn’t even feel like a job at this point and the young man certainly didn’t feel like a client. No. This.......This felt like a.......like a.......

Date.

And you were here for it. All of it. Shamelessly so. Even if you were playing with fire, it didn’t matter because clearly the young man wanted this too. Smiling widely, your eyes softened and you nodded gently before speaking up in an honest tone,

“I’m not ready either. Where do you wanna go, Tae?”

Call him crazy. Call him insane. But Taehyung knew exactly where he wanted to take you. It was gonna be a long shot but he was practically itching to show you. To show you a part of him that only few other people knew about. A part of him that sometimes.....He wasn’t always so proud of. But still. He wanted you to know.

“It’s something inside the agency building. But you’ve got to promise not to tell anyone, okay?”

Grinning widely and feeling more than adventurous, you held out your pinkie finger and the young idol immediately linked his with yours. It probably seemed silly but he held a lot of respect for the famous pinkie promise.

Before either of you knew it, the vehicle was stopping once again in the back of the agency building and this time you allowed the young man to open the door for you. Giggling like a schoolgirl, you allowed him to help you out and tugged down your dress to help keep it smooth against your skin. You had since then changed out of your expensive heels and into comfortable flats that still matched your dress.

“Come on. I can’t wait to show you. Under the impression that you’ll believe me, of course.”

“I don’t see you having a reason to lie so of course I’ll believe you, TaeTae.”

Oh you say that now but he couldn’t help but remain nervous. Thankfully his palm wasn’t sweaty as he held yours while guiding the two of you to the elevator located in the lobby. Your heart was pounding with excitement and anticipation. However, upon standing in front of the contraption, you watched him turn towards you and asked softly with the utmost sincerity,

“Do you trust me?”

For a slight moment, your mind went straight to the gutter. Despite his seriousness and sincerity, you couldn’t help but immediately picture the two of you making out and even going further in an elevator. But-----That was ridiculous! If he wanted to do that with you, it could have been anywhere far better than an elevator. Mentally shaking your head, you blinked up at him and nodded immediately.

“I trust you, Taehyung.”

His smile was bright and warm as he gave your hand a squeeze. It was meant to be reassuring but honestly you were still trying to get over the fact how.....comfortable, you were with the idea of making out with him. Where was your head? He was your client! Get your act together! Gripping his hand back in return, you watched him press the button and the doors immediately opened.

Walking in, still hand-in-hand, you watched him press a button that would have looked like a normal button.....Had it not looked like a pyramid. Hmm....That was interesting....and oddly familiar. You glanced up at him to see that he looked a bit nervous. As if he were second guessing his decision. But all he said was---

“Hang on tight.”

Still caught off guard, you ended up letting out a soft scream of surprise when the compartment suddenly jerked and started ascending at a much faster speed than a normal elevator should go. Not thinking anything of it, you latched onto the male and he gently encased you in his arms. If you weren’t so disoriented, you would have thoroughly enjoyed the embrace.

And suddenly-----It stopped. It stopped with a soft ding.

The doors opened and sand immediately started to blow into the compartment. There was a nice breeze and a warmth that encased you like a warm, fuzzy blanket on a cold winter’s day as you finally opened your eyes to look behind you. Whoa.

Sand. There was sand everywhere! And pyramids! Beautiful structures withstanding the test of time and all of them tipped with gold. Real, pure gold. The river flowed and the water looked crystal clear against the sun’s beautiful rays. Wow. Wow wow! You could hear people in the distance. Some trying to sell their merchandise while others were just having normal conversations about their day.

You were in Egypt.

“You’re a demigod?!”

“Wait----You believe in demigods???”

“Dude! I’m a demigod too!!”

“What?!”

Okay. Hold the phone. Stop the presses. Everything was happening way too fast and things were escalating quickly. The poor boy looked utterly lost and confused, perhaps even frozen with shock. Meanwhile, you were glowing. Glowing with happiness at this sudden realization. He was perfect for you. He was everything you wanted in a guy. Not only was he fun to hang out with, but he shared a secret same as yours. Well......almost.

“Yeah! I’m the daughter of Aphrodite! You know----The Greek Goddess. She’s my mom!”

Well dang. This was definitely not how the idol saw things going. Granted he wasn’t complaining. Heck, this was going to be way easier than he thought. But the whole idea that he was staring at someone who was just like him.....It was pretty surreal to say the least. Smiling a bit timidly, he spoke up with honesty.

“No wonder you’re so beautiful and pretty. It’s in your genetics.”

Despite having heard similar compliments, you still felt your face growing warm. It was just the way he said it. Or was it......the fact that it was him who said it? Either way, you enjoyed it and ended up smiling timidly. Turning around to face the view, you asked in an almost teasing manner,

“So----Gonna show me around?”

With that, he took your hand once more and this time you boldly laced your fingers together. This was definitely no longer an escort job and was a full blown date. Or at least that’s what you were calling it. Not that you’d tell him that. Thankfully he didn’t make a move to untangle your fingers. So perhaps he liked it too?

“Wow! This place is so cool! Look at all the pretty jewelry!”

“Kook???”

Taehyung had decided to take you through town first. Mostly to help buy him some time. The thing was.......while your Greek mother was something you could be proud of......The poor boy wasn’t exactly.....proud of his Egyptian bloodline. Of all the gods and goddesses that could have been his parent, he had to be the lucky guy who got stuck with the infamous god of chaos. Set. And he was not excited to tell you that.

Thankfully he found another distraction and it came in the form of one Jeon Jungkook.

The younger male turned around upon hearing his name and his doe eyes grew wider; clearly not expecting to see one of his band mates here. Let alone seeing him with someone else. Jogging over to the two of you, he sported a sheepish smile upon seeing you; clearly unsure of how to approach the situation.

“What are you doing here, Kook?”

“I um----Well I um........I’m here to see dad. I want to get my girlfriend a puppy for her birthday and I figured if anyone could help me pick the perfect pup, it’d be him.”

“Your dad is Anubis?!”

Before you could attract anymore attention than you already had, the two boys started to drag you off towards the palace entrance; both looking a bit embarrassed and maybe even a bit mortified. Oops. Well you couldn’t exactly help it. You were in shock. It was two for two now with both Bangtan boys being Egyptian demigods. What were the odds. Once inside the palace foyer, the two males turned to you and nodded with the youngest speaking first.

“Yes. Anubis is my father. But.....Who are you?”

“I’m a friend of Tae’s and also a demigod. My mother is Aphrodite.”

“Ah cool. Well it was nice to meet you. Have fun here in Egypt! I’m gonna track dad down. See you guys later!”

Taehyung stood there in surprise while you politely waved goodbye to the other boy. Why hadn’t you been more honest and explained that you were just a hired escort to keep him company? Furthermore, did you really consider the two of you friends? Why did that thought make his heart flutter? Gah. Too many questions.

“So---Who’s your Egyptian parent? You haven’t mentioned them yet.”

“Well I----”

“Ah! Nephew Kookie! Good to see you!”

Oh lord. Speak of the devil.

The voice came from just down the hall and it was the last voice Taehyung wanted to hear. And poor Kook. Glancing over at you only to see you wearing a confused expression on your face, he offered a sympathetic smile and stated softly,

“We should probably rescue him. Come on.”

Lightly jogging alongside each other, you were now more than grateful for switching into your flats. But your cocktail dress was definitely making you stand out among all the other town folk. Even in the palace. Actually, since when had Taehyung ditched his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves on his dress shirt? Wow......he looked really good that way.

Rounding the corner, you were met with a sight that you could only dream about. There stood small-looking Jungkook as not just one, but two Egyptian gods towered over him. It wasn’t that the youngest member of BTS was short. Heck no. He was one of the taller ones. It was just that the two gods were that tall.

There stood in all their sun-kissed glory, was the Egyptian gods Anubis and Set. Anubis, the god of embalming and determining who was worthy of the glorious afterlife. Head of a jackal. And then there was Set. Lord of chaos. Head of an anteater. You knew from your studies that these two gods had an.....interesting history. But it was the words that left the anteater’s mouth that rendered you speechless.

“Well, well, well. First I get a visit from my beloved nephew and now my own son graces me with his presence. To what do I owe this rare occasion?”

“Hello, Set.”

You should have kept your cool. But it was impossible now. Your initial reaction was to look over at the young man next to you. Oh poor Taehyung.....His father was Set? One of the most evil gods in Egyptian history??? Your heart immediately throbbed for him. It was true what they say, you can’t pick your family. Just as you were about to reach out for his hand, the mischievous god asked playfully,

“Are you here to tell me I’m going to be a grandfather? Hmm?”

Well that was a fine start to a father and son conversation. You were now extremely warm and it wasn’t from the sun’s rays. Next to you, Taehyung was on the verge of boiling over. But before either of you could say anything, the other god came to your rescue.....with the help of his godly staff in his hand. A staff made of pure gold with a jackal head as the topper.

“Ouch! What was that for?! It was a legit question!”

However, Anubis paid him no mind and Jungkook had to bit his lower lip to keep from snickering in amusement. While one god was gently rubbing at his head, the other was kneeling with his head bowed as he spoke with a grace that only a god could pull off.

“Daughter of Aphrodite. Allow me to welcome you to the glorious sands of Egypt. And furthermore, I would like to apologize for my......colleague’s inappropriate behavior.”

“Again---It was a legit question for a father to ask his son.”

You wanted to ask the jackal headed male how he knew you were the daughter of Greek decent but chalked it up to probably just being a god thing. Smiling sheepishly and subconsciously sticking closer to Taehyung, you nodded and spoke up a bit more timidly than you would have liked.

“It’s okay. I get it. A father’s curiosity.”

Just as the anteater shouted a thank you, the other three males in the room all said at the same time as if rehearsed,

“You’re being way too nice to him.”

“Oh come on! At least someone here likes me!”

“And now she’s leaving. Goodbye, Set.”

You could tell from the way the poor man’s jaw was clenched that now was not the best time to argue. With a sheepish smile, you gave everyone a wave and spoke timidly but politely,

“It was lovely to meet you all.”

Anubis had since then risen once more and was wrapping a fatherly arm around his son Jungkook who politely waved back at you. Meanwhile, Set just had to get one last jab in as he waved dramatically and shouted after your retreating forms,

“Likewise, daughter-in-law. Let me know if it’s a boy or girl! I love baby showers!”

While you were still a soft giggling mess and a blush to match, Taehyung waited till he was long out of ear shot and groaned with embarrassment. Now down a completely different hallway and even on a different floor of the palace, he pulled you to stand in front of him and you could see just how embarrassed he really was.

“I’m so sorry about him. I was really hoping we could avoid him.”

“TaeTae. It’s okay. He’s your father. The odds of us not running into him were going to be very slim to none.”

You could tell there was something else bothering him and your eyebrows subconsciously knitted together. Letting go of his hand only to gently rub at his upper arms in what you hoped was a soothing fashion, you asked with genuine concern,

“What’s the matter, Tae? Talk to me.”

“It’s just......You don’t think I’m like him, do you? That I’m like......Like my father?”

“What? No! Not at all! You’re nothing like him. What makes you say that?”

Rather than answer you right away, the young man instead decided to take your hand in his once more and started leading you both in a new direction. It was only until he reached a balcony that you realized the sun had settled and stars were starting to pop up in the night sky. Letting go of your hand so that he could lean on the railing, he finally answered your question.

“It’s just......demigods are supposed to harbor traits from their godly parents, right? You for example. You look absolutely gorgeous. And Kook? He has a way with dogs and I know it’s because of his dad. Me? What do I get? I get urges to create chaos. I want to cause trouble.”

He paused for breath before continuing.

“But I don’t want that. I don’t want to cause problems for others. I want to help people. That’s why I enjoy being an idol so much. Because I get to help people with my music. I sing and it soothes people. I don’t want to become a monster like my father.”

It was silent for what felt like minutes when really it was only a couple seconds. For a split moment, Taehyung felt that perhaps he had said too much.

“Oh Tae......”

The moment felt incredibly intimate for just being an escort but you could care less. Acting on pure instincts and emotions, you found yourself wrapping the poor man up in a hug. A hug that he returned immediately. There was something extremely comforting about being in each other’s arms like this. Again, probably too intimate for a client but it didn’t matter to either of you. This was what the both of you wanted. You wanted each other’s company. More than just professionally.

ONE MONTH LATER.....

“Kook----I swear. If you don’t sit still you’re going to end up looking like the bride of Frankenstein.”

“I can’t help it! It tickles!”

It had been one month since your day with Taehyung. You’d never forget how the two of you stood on that balcony in ancient Egypt and he asked you to quit your escorting job so that you could come work as a stylist for BigHit Ent. At first you played it off thinking he was just being silly but nope. He was dead serious.

There was a mutual attraction there and the two of you wanted to get to know each other better. Taehyung voiced his feelings about how he hated seeing you starve yourself just because of a job. Not to mention he had discovered earlier that day during the meal that you wanted to pursue a career in what you went to school for. So it only made sense for you to agree and take on a job at the very company he worked for.

Today your members were Jungkook and Yoongi. Out of the two, the elder was a piece of cake but the youngest always managed to squirm like a worm. Meanwhile, your boyfriend was smirking next to him as he watched you struggle. Catching his side glance, you whined and pouted while saying as you tried to apply more eyeliner,

“You hush over there. Or I’ll make you look ten times worse.”

With a sudden sigh of relief, you waved your hand that still had the brush and said with just as much relief,

“Okay, you’re finished, dog boy. Now go play with Tannie while I work on Yoongi.”

Just like a kid, the doe eyed male hopped out of the chair and started his search for his little distant cousin as he liked to often refer to the pupper as. While you watched for the cat eyed male to take a seat, you carefully leaned on your boyfriend who chuckled softly and rested a loving hand on your cheek.

“Being your guys’ stylist is exhausting. How do you all do this every day?”

“Eh. It’s not that bad really. It became a lot easier once you started working here.”

“You’re so cheesy. Shush it before I shove this eyeliner pencil up your nose.”

“That’s got to be the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

The two of you laughed and you itched to kiss him. But then again there were plenty of cameras and not to mention you didn’t want to mess with his makeup. Your coworker and fellow stylist was amazing at what she did and had taught you way more than any class would have. So you could appreciate her hard work and didn’t want to ruin it.

Taehyung couldn’t have been happier. He’d have to ring up Hakyeon and thank him for the suggestion of hiring an escort.

Who would have thought, right?

#taehyung fanfic #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfiction #kim taehyung #bts taehyung #taehyung bts #taehyung scenario #taehyung #bts scenario #bts scenarios #bts fanfiction #demigod!taehyung #idol!taehyung

[nutbrain]

A short fic about a pining Bandit I wrote from a discord suggestion. I tried a writing style a little different from what I’m used to, so please let me know if you like it! (~4800 words)

Bandit wasn’t quite sure when the feeling started. It had been insidious, one thing slowly building on top of another, nagging at the back of his mind until the thought was finally brought to his attention; he was starting to get old. It wasn’t something he’d really let bother him until recently. Retrospectively, Bandit realized he’d started to notice courtesy of several offhanded comments. The German had vaulted over a stairway’s railing to finish off a couple terrorists a floor below and hurt his knees on the (admittedly poor) landing. Kapkan had laughed his head off when Bandit had radioed in that since the building was finally clear, he was going to remain on the floor until his legs stopped throbbing. He still cringed at the fact that Mute had to eventually make his way down to pick him up. The young Brit asked him if he required LifeAlert, and of course Pulse had joined in. The helicopter ride back was miserable with his knees still hurting more with every jostle and those idiots living it up through the comm system which he was ordered not to turn off. Kapkan of course wouldn’t let him nurse he wounds in peace when they got back and instead radioed it in to Doc.

              “We have no casualties aside from Bandit’s pride,” Bandit flipped him off which only encouraged the Russian more, “the idiot decided to take up gymnastics and didn’t quite stick his landing. I’d give it a 2.5/10 from what I saw on the cameras.” Kapkan winked as the others started chortling, debating whether or not he deserved more or less points for killing the terrorists on the way down.

Doc had let out a long-suffering sigh when Bandit was hauled into the infirmary by a highly amused Mute. From the looks of it, the doctor had been planning on heading out for the night with his team, as Doc had thrown his white coat on over his sweater and khaki pants while the rest of the GIGN was lazing around the infirmary in their civvies. Twitch fixed him with an unamused look and he flipped off Rook just out of sight of Montagne as the younger man opened his mouth to say something. The shield bearer smiled at him as he limped past, but Bandit steadfastly refused to make eye contact, offering him a quick nod instead. He was already embarrassed enough.

Doc ushered the pair into the office and closed the door after Mute left, giving the German a lightning fast check-up before launching into one of his signature tongue lashings. While the whole tirade was grating on its own, it was Doc’s comment as he cleaned up that really tipped him over the edge.

“You’re not getting any younger, you know. Not that you should have been pulling those stunts ten years ago, but you have to be even more careful now.” He gripped, passing Bandit a bottle of prescription ibuprofen for the swelling and pain. The German glared and silently accept the meds, waiting to leave until he was dismissed. Bandit maybe a bit rash at times, but even knew better than blow up on the doctor (Doc was a force to be reckoned with on his own, but with the rest of the GIGN already upset that they weren’t currently at dinner, there’s no way that would end well).

However, if the Keurig that Doc and the others from the mission happened to use had its water laced with laxatives the next day, well, what could he say.

~

While Bandit certainly wasn’t the oldest operator in Rainbow by any means, he also wasn’t nearly as young as some. After lamenting to Blitz about the comments from the others, the younger German had a few ideas that Bandit wasn’t quite sure he was willing to accept.

               “I think you’re just hitting your midlife crisis.”

               “My what?” Bandit looked at him as if he’d grown another head, though it wasn’t quite as effective since he was currently laying upside down on the couch while Blitz sat in the recliner, making a valiant effort to type up his mission report while also playing counselor to Bandit.

               “Your midlife crisis. From what I hear it happens to people around your age. I mean, you bought that ridiculously expensive motorcycle last month,” Blitz held up his hand as Bandit started to protest, “your pranks have shifted to focus mostly on the younger operators, you actually trimmed your beard within the last week, you’ve started buying work jeans with even more holes in them, and you’ve finally purchased civvies that don’t make you look like a homeless stoner.” Bandit flipped around on the couch to level a proper glare at the other man, whose only response was to roll his eyes.

               “I’ll have you know that I’ve been meaning to buy that bike for years, thank you very much. And how dare you insult the distressed marks on my jeans. I don’t know if you’ve tried, but it’s actually very time consuming to create that look for yourself.” Blitz quirked his eyebrow, disbelieving.

               “Listen, all I’m saying is maybe this would be a good time to find someone nice and give dating a chance. I know it’s hard with our lifestyle, but we’ll all have to retire eventually and you need someone to keep you company when the nights are long.”

               “Ya, you’re probably right,” now it was Blitz’s turn to look at him strangely, not used to hearing those words come out of Bandit’s mouth. “I probably do need a good lay like what you have with the baguette boy.” Blitz’s expression turned to one of horror as his face lit up bright red. Bandit cackled as he exited the room, leaving a sputtering Blitz behind.

~

Despite the jesting, Bandit took Blitz’s words to heart. He spent the next week running through his dating options. Ideally, another operator would be best suited to handle and understand his current lifestyle, so that narrowed down his options significantly. Montagne, Jackal, Lion, and the Russians were out immediately for a variety of reasons. Montagne was so far out of league it was unreal, so he wasn’t even on the list to be checked off. Jackal was attractive and older, so he was one of Bandit’s first thoughts, but the other man was too suave and had enough baggage not to be able to handle any of Bandit’s. Moving on, Lion, as far as Bandit knew, was interested in the fairer sex. As intriguing as the challenge of converting him sounded, he also didn’t think he’d be able to stomach his haughty attitude for long. As for the Russians, they were so tight knit it would be extremely hard to even start to approach one, and in the event that they ever broke up, Bandit had the distinct feeling that he would no longer have to worry about reaching retirement.

Rook, Blitz, Mute, and Smoke were already in relationships, and as much as Bandit enjoyed chaos, he wasn’t about to be labelled as a homewrecker, especially not where Blitz was concerned. After finishing his run through, the only other operator he hadn’t completely ruled out for one reason or another was Jager.

Bandit started weighing the pros and cons of their theoretical relationship. Pros: They’d been friends for awhile and at this point knew each other well, so they could skip a lot of the awkwardness that accompanied getting to know someone new. Not to mention the man was incredibly smart and easy on the eyes. Cons: The problem lay in the fact that Bandit preferred to be pursued rather than to pursue. And knowing Jager, his toolbox had a better chance of picking up on the fact that Bandit was flirting with him. Not to mention he’d be risking their current friendship if he took the direct approach and was rejected.

Bandit sighed a flopped back on his bed, attempting to devise a strategy to ask the mechanic out while also being able to play it off should his advances go awry.

~

As the weeks went on, Bandit occupied his free time with fantasies about pursing Jager. He’d started to grow accustomed to the idea of dating the other German, despite how strange the notion had felt initially. Before Blitz put the idea in his head, it hadn’t even crossed his mind to ask Jager out. The two defender’s friendship had taken long enough to progress to where it was today, with more than a few fights scattered throughout and so Bandit was loathe to potentially ruin what they had. At this point, however, he was committed to winning over the other defender, despite the nagging sense that this whole thing was fueled by a little too much desperation. His usual sounding board, Blitz, was of little help; the man turned to a blushing pile of mush at the mere mention of sex and Rook had all but fallen into his lap, so he was useless for that as well.

Getting Jager’s attention was just as hard as he thought it would be, much to Bandit’s despair. His attempts at flirting were taken as compliments, and all he accomplished was inflating Jager’s already significant ego. At one point it had gotten so bad, everyone was worried the pilot was turning into Echo with how much he was boasting about his ADSs (a statement that said man was highly offended by). Smoke thankfully took him down a few notches by rolling a stink bomb past his ADS during training. Jager had been stuck in the raunchy room until Castle came back to take down his barricades, taking longer than necessary to check all the rooms before finally arriving to rescue the poor German. Bandit felt guilty even if what happened wasn’t his fault, so he decided he’d better switch tactics.

However, his next option, gifts, were also a no go, as they were immediately met with deep suspicion and adamantly refused on the off chance that Bandit was pulling a prank. Despite trying everything he could, Jager still refused to take any of the offered food items or tools. After several attempts on multiple occasions, Doc and Montagne were starting to appreciate the edible items he grudgingly passed their way. The tokens had at least gone a long way to smooth things over after the laxative prank claimed Montagne as an unintended victim. Doc of course had made Bandit eat something from the box the first few times he came by, both to prove nothing was poisoned and to make sure they didn’t taste terrible. As for the tools, which were not electrified as Jager insisted, he kept for himself or passed onto a grateful IQ.

The whole ordeal was a trial in itself, but to make matters worse, the other operators in the workshop had picked up on what was going on and were increasingly amused with Bandit’s failures. He was furious when noticed that the SAS defenders had started a betting pool at his expense, worried that it’d somehow work its way back around to Jager. So far the two had kept their promise to the pilot out of the loop, given the fact that Jager turned down Bandit’s latest gift of his favorite box of German chocolates.

Sighing in frustration, Bandit stalked out of the workshop and headed back towards his room. On the way, he passed the common area where Montagne and Rook were watching some film in French. He veered over and dropped yet another box of chocolates off to a now beaming Montagne, not allowing the other man a chance to speak before he disappeared around the corner without a word.

~

Two weeks and five failed attempts, Bandit had finally ended up at his last option, but refused to take the final step. His attempts had gotten increasingly farfetched and he’d managed to run up a long list of people infuriated with him as he compensated for his anxiousness with pranks. In a rare occasion, both the Bosak sisters were looking to murder him for swapping the contents of closets and lockers (luckily for him, they still had yet to actually work together), he’d switched out all of Thermite’s chemicals with either baking soda or vinegar, resulting in little volcanoes forming all over the lab, and sniffed out the location of Buck’s good maple syrup to replace it with the cheapest liquid sugar he could find.

As if ticking off four operators wasn’t enough, his most recent stunt had Glaz absolutely livid. Bandit had passed out invitations to a ‘gallery’ he’d opened up, which consisted entirely of the Russian’s empty canvases that he’d pelted with paintballs and hung around the common area. While some of the operators were snickering at his latest escapade, they all quieted down upon seeing Glaz enter the room. After a narrow escape from the sniper, the German was constantly checking over his shoulders for the rest of the Spetsnaz, who were currently doing their best impression of a kicked hornet’s nest.

The operators that had been so far unscathed were much jumpier and were anxiously trying to keep him in their peripherals. The younger members of the GIGN in particular had been watching him carefully, knowing they were among his usual targets. In all honesty, Bandit had avoided the GIGN not out of respect, but because he knew if he made Rook cry, Blitz would end his life. And if Bandit was worried Montagne would give him that same confused and disappointed look he had after he ruined his coffee, he certainly wasn’t about to admit it.

~

IQ finally approached him in the GSG9 common area, where he was sprawled out on the couch contemplating life. She sat down heavily, taking the place that Blitz had occupied weeks before when he first put Bandit’s plans in motion.

               “Listen, I’m getting real tired of putting out all of your fires. I found a set of plans today that Kapkan had written up as a way to ‘accidentally’,” IQ made exaggerate air quotes here, “break both your kneecaps during training. I managed to talk him down, but you’re buying Glaz brand new canvases, and they better be the highest quality crap you can find.” Bandit rolled his eyes. While he didn’t like being told what to do, he passed his phone to IQ all the same, showing her he’d already placed an order for new canvases. He’d been planning on offering them as an olive branch after seeing the devastation on the sniper’s face when he first recognized his art materials. The woman huffed and relaxed further into her chair as she tossed his phone back.

               “Listen, I know this isn’t usually the kind of thing we talk about, but I’ve heard the rumors. If you’re going to ask Jager out, just rip off that band aid. No matter what he says, it’ll be easier than putting up with you trying to start World War III with the rest of the operators because you’re too much of a chicken to make a move.” As Bandit stared, unsure how to respond, IQ hauled herself out of the chair and shuffled off to her room, closing the door behind her a bit more forcefully than necessary. Bandit buried his face in the crook of his arm and sighed. IQ was right as usual, and if she felt the need to say something, then it really must have gotten bad. He sat up and began brainstorming the best way to word everything.

Much later in the afternoon, Bandit wandered down to the workshop and slowly waited for the other operators to clear out. Kapkan and Fuze seemed to be attempting to glare him to death, but even they finally left, leaving Bandit, Jager, and Echo in the lab. Jager had his headphones in and was bobbing to a beat Bandit could hear from across the room, so his next actions would go unnoticed. He first attempted to make eye contact with the other operator before giving up. Bandit resorted instead to crumpling up a wad of paper and hucking it at Echo’s head. When he looked up, Bandit mimed towards the door and mouthed “GTFO”. Echo just smirked and shook his head, glance towards Jager and making a kissy face. Time to change tactics. Grabbing a pencil and another piece a paper, Bandit wrote out: ‘I will murder EVERY last member of your drone family.’ The look on Echo’s face went from surprised, to amused, and finally terrified as Bandit connected the paper (and a piece of carefully concealed graphite) between the alligator clips of his battery, sending them up in flames. The Japanese man’s face lost its color as he scooped up his drone and held it to his chest. He hastily gathered his work materials in his one open hand and made a quick exit.

Jager pulled out one of his earbuds and sniffed.

               “Do you smell smoke?” He asked, peering around curiously before his eyes settled on the smoking pile of ashes in front of Bandit.

               “It could be because you’re smoking hot.” Bandit finger gunned and winked. Okay, maybe not his best move he thought as Jager let out an exasperated sigh and turned back to his work. Alright, he just had to do this like pulling off a band aid; nice and fast. A ‘Bandit aid’. Oh gosh, he was going insane and needed to do something now before someone came in, he lost his nerve, or started actually saying half the crap he was thinking right now.

               “Sooooooo, I’ve been thinking about something for a little while.” Bandit wandered over and leaned on the edge of Jager’s work table. The man responded with a noncommittal grunt, but removed both earbuds to better hear what Bandit had to say. It was now or never.

               “I was wondering if maybe you’d want to date me. I mean we have similar work schedules, we’re both attractive, we’re both German, so we wouldn’t have to worry about intercountry nonsense, uhm, and IthinkIkindoflikeyou.” Bandit had steadfastly refused to make eye contact and that last bit came out a little too fast, but he was sure the other man still understood. When Bandit finally looked over at Jager, the other man was staring before giving him an amused look.

               “Haha, no.” That was…unexpected. Bandit had to admit it felt like being slapped, and while he knew rejection was a possibility, he at least expected Jager to turn him down a bit more graciously.

              “Why not?” Anger seeped into Bandit’s tone as he recoiled back, readying himself for a fight if only to make sure the pilot couldn’t see the hurt that was surely written all across his face. Jager set down his tools and ran a hand down his face, leaving a greasy smear in its wake.

              “Because, I don’t want to ruin what we have here. Not to mention the fact that if we ever broke up, not only are we in the same CTU, but we’re also both defenders. We’d never be able to go on the same mission again, and I’d hate to lose that.” Jager broke eye contact and started fidgeting with a screwdriver, his voice quieting for his next statement, “Dom, you’re the only person I completely trust to watch my back out there and I don’t want to lose that. I was kind of hoping that if I didn’t respond to any of your weird attempts at flirting you’d just kind of let it drop and I wouldn’t have to hurt your feelings. Besides, you’re not really interested in me, you’re interested in the idea of having someone and I’m your easiest option.” Oh. The rejection still stung, but Bandit’s shoulder relaxed as he settled back down, Jager’s words hitting home as the pilot had read the situation much better than Bandit had given him credit for.

              “I guess you’re probably right. I really don’t want to screw up our friendship either, though I suppose I’ve just made it incredibly awkward.” Bandit was lost at what to do. He felt like an idiot, but now he couldn’t leave without at least attempting to repair what he’d just potentially ruined. Jager snorted.

              “Naw, I figured you’d pull some stupid stunt like this after Blitz mentioned the conversation you two had. You’re too much of a chicken to ask any of the other operators out.” Jager playfully poked Bandit in the side with the butt of his screw driver to accent his words, as the other German attempted to swipe it away. Jager sighed as Bandit proceeded to stare at floor, the sides of his mouth pulled down into an unhappy grimace.

              “Why don’t we go out and get a drink this weekend? You can save face with the other operators and we can get drunk enough to laugh about this whole thing. It’s only awkward if you make it awkward, Dom. Besides, I’m getting tired of having you being too nervous to sit next to me in here. I’ve had to bounce my ideas off of Fuze recently, and that man carries a conversation about as well as a brick wall.” Snorting at what Jager said, Bandit gave him a nod and smiled before standing up. “Sure, why not. First round is on me.” The mechanic smiled at him proudly, obviously relieved that he’d accepted the peace offering.

Slapping Jager on the back, Bandit headed towards the door of the workshop, leaning back around the door to tell Jager wipe the dirt off of his face before sauntering off to nurse his wounds. Jager heaved a sigh of relief and texted IQ and Blitz to ask them to keep an eye on Bandit just in case he wasn’t as okay as he said he was. The three operators had been attempting to divert this disaster after Jager had expressed his reservations, and while the situation had turned out well, the pilot still felt guilty for not addressing it sooner. After receiving replies from his teammates, he confirmed a time and date with Bandit for meeting at the bar, before sending off another quick text and smiling at the reply.

~

Saturday came around and Bandit rode his motorcycle out to the bar that Jager had specified in his text. The other man had to do some things in town, so they agreed to arrive separately. With his helmet in the crook of his elbow, Bandit wandered into the building and glanced around the room. It was a small, dimly lit dive bar that the rainbow operators frequented, with a couple pool tables in the front and a smattering of booths around the walls. Tonight, there was a group of people playing pool that glanced up upon his arrival and a lone man sitting at the bar, but no Jager anywhere in sight. Bandit was purposefully fifteen minutes late, partly to keep up appearances and partly to make sure he wasn’t left sitting alone at a bar, nursing his minor heartbreak like a loser. Shifting his helmet so he could tug out his phone, Bandit texted Jager informing him that he was a loser who had better get here soon. Resigned to wait, Bandit sauntered up to where the bartender was cleaning glasses.

As he got closer, Bandit realized he recognized the man sitting at the bar, and for all the world couldn’t think of why he would be there. Sensing his approach, the man glanced over and smiled brightly as he recognized Bandit.

              “Hey there Monty. What brings you to this crap hole?” The bartender looked unamused but was by now used to some of the operators being a bit abrasive. Bandit dropped a twenty on the bar and the man passed him his usual, Montagne still smiling like the angelic being he was. Just his luck, not only was he about to get wasted, but now Montagne and the rest of the GIGN would likely be here to watch him drown his sorrows. Jager had better get here soon.

              “I’m here to meet a hot date. It’s our first one, so I’m trying to make a good first impression.” Bandit laughed as he leaned his back against the bar looked around, one of the lights in flickered off and on in the corner and someone angrily shouted from one of the pool tables.

              “You sure picked one hell of a place to try and do that. Hopefully she doesn’t mind the fact that nothing’s been updated in the last century.” Montagne’s smile brightened even further and he leaned forward to rest one of his elbows on the bar and turn the rest of his body towards Bandit.

              “Well, I don’t think he tends to mind places like this,” Bandit perked up at the change in pronouns, swinging back around to look at the Frenchman in a new light, “but the place was picked for us by a mutual friend.” Hope was starting to wriggle its way up into Bandit’s heart, despite him doing his best to smoosh it down. He simply blinked at Montagne, before switching to an attempt to feign disinterest with a half-hearted, “Oh ya?”

              “Why don’t you tell me, Bandit. Do you mind places like this?” Bandit blinked, once, twice, then three times as Montagne’s expression gradually started to dim from his lack of response. The large man leaned back in his chair and Bandit suddenly noticed how close they had been for this entire conversation.

              “I, um, I mean, if you’re not interested that’s completely fine. I just…you’ve been giving me an awful lot of gifts that you could have passed off to Blitz or IQ since Jager didn’t want them. And then Jager messaged and said you were interested and that this was the time and place, so I just figured… I mean I suppose…. Maybe I jumped the gun a bit?” The Frenchman started fidgeting, the expression on his face looking for all the world like Bandit’s had when he’d finally asked Jager out. Seeing something so uncharacteristically anxious from the normally confident man was strangely endearing. After staring for another beat, Bandit allowed a smile to creep into his expression

              “You’re right, I don’t mind places like this. I am a pretty hot date if I do say so myself.” Bandit winked before scoffing and finishing off his beer. “I guess this means that Jager’s not coming after all?” Montagne’s smile returned in full force and he shook his head laughing, Bandit sliding into the seat next to him and ordering another beer. While their conversations were awkward at first, neither knowing where exactly they should start, as the night carried on, they grew more relaxed in each other’s presence and the conversations flowed easier.  After several beers, Bandit recounted the last few weeks, and after several probing questions from Montagne, finally slurred (after even more beers) how he’d thought Montagne would never be interested, so he didn’t bother even trying. By the time the bar closed, Bandit was gotten absolutely trashed with Montagne not far behind. Knowing that neither was fit to drive, Montagne checked them into a nearby hotel and the two passed out blissfully on the beds, content with the other’s company.

 Despite the fact that Bandit was over the moon after this recent development, Jager didn’t get off completely for standing him up. Bandit hid his tools throughout base and followed him around to tell the pilot if he was hot or cold until an exasperated IQ returned with a Bandit’s treasure map of hiding places and threatened bodily harm should Bandit attempt to re-hide anything.

Bandit also made peace with the Spetsnaz, replacing all of Glaz’s canvases and then some. Glaz, though still miffed, was grateful and it went a long way in smoothing tensions with the Spetsnaz. Bandit couldn’t help the warm fuzzy feeling that grew in his chest as Montagne later told him how proud he was that he’d done the right thing. While Bandit played it off, he made a mental note to buy Blitz something nice for setting this whole thing in motion.

 The ensuing relationship wasn’t what Bandit had imagined would happen with Jager. There was a lot of getting used to new routines and hanging out with different people. He got to know Rook a lot better, something that made Blitz unreasonably happy and so was probably worth it. As he and Montagne approached their one-month anniversary, Bandit realized that while they might not last forever, he was more than willing to risk the heartbreak in order to give their relationship a chance.

#r6s #rainbow six siege #r6s bandit #r6s jager #r6s montagne #Bandit is a tire fire as usual #maybe less so here though? #That man's character is hard to pin down

[swithe-ist]

ugghgh stupid lockdown episode on wednesday. I hate billie. I hate all of this. what a waste of time. henrik already has a grandkid, that’s all he needs. he doesn’t need to ~witness the magical wonder of new life~ for a shitty closure metaphor.

russell is such a shitty character, ffs. half of a sketch of someone. he’s worse than roxanna. we’re never going to get any more about their past.

at least hermione gulliford felt like she was used to being around henrik + john for years, despite the character being written stupidly, like she’d never met them before. she felt like she belonged. one of henrik’s people.

and the more I think about russ’s intro, the worse it gets. I was totally on board with it to start with because I assumed they’d clear the air about the initial reason henrik was avoiding him! blocking his calls is pretty extreme. but then they leapt into “russ cons oliver to try and win henrik” and then henrik forgives him because... he said he cares about him? ok?

cue more russ being obnoxious - stealing his lunch, calling him a silly pet name at work in front of everybody, laughing at him for being awkward, getting him to break the rules about the liver transplant thing... I’ll even ring him up for getting him pissed on a worknight.

can they just give us a fuckin reason for why henrik’s ok with this? what’s he ever done for henrik? henrik saved his life, remember. since they inverted the story.

he hasn’t done anything remarkable, he’s an overbearing ass, what’s the appeal? why does he inspire henrik at all? just tell me please, for the love of gooood.

it’s so jarring having to see all these very touching scenes of henrik being ready to come out and accept himself and it’s just............ for this?? this schmuck is going to be taking care of you in your twilight years?? really??

#holby city #this fuckin show #unbelievable #I'm bored ok #I'm fully aware this is probably annoying people but whatever #it's really not that hard to come up with and convey why a couple should like each other #6 months is more than enough time

[hegagergerk]

My reactions to The Last Jedi

I have mixed feelings about The Last Jedi. There are some aspects of it that I loved, but there was a lot that I really didn’t like. I’ve seen it twice, and each time I left the theater thinking, “Well. Huh. I don’t know what I feel.” I felt this uncertain about The Force Awakens, for comparison, but I left Rogue One knowing I liked it.

I also want it known that I am a fan of Rian Johnson and his work. I LOVE Brick, and Looper was pretty great. So I was pretty excited going into this film.

Perhaps, if this had been the first in a trilogy, I might be able to overlook the parts that I don’t like, as I did in The Force Awakens. But this is the second part - the meat of the story. And honestly, the whole thing felt gamey.

SPOILERS (and unpopular opinions) under the cut.

Pros:

It’s a beautifully shot, visually striking film. 

Adam Driver shirtless

Adam Driver, period. Love that boy

I love what they’ve done with Luke (the grumpy old hermit schtick), and I loved what little time we spent on Ach-To. The location was beautiful, I loved the Caretakers and the Porgs, and I loved Luke’s take on the Force and the Jedi.

Rey Random is the best answer to her backstory and the explanation I was hoping for. I loved the mirror cave sequence. It’s an even better touch that not only were they random people, but they were awful and neglectful. Ouch. Didn’t think they’d go that far.

I love that Rey and Kylo want to fuck each other. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I’m okay with Luke trying to murder Ben and then regretting it, even though I understand why many people are not. I actually really like the exploration of Luke’s character, and the digging into his personality flaws and weaknesses - namely, that he was prideful of his own legacy, which gave him several blind spots with regards to his nephew, and led to his biggest failure as a Jedi. It’s true - it is, initially, out of character, but I think this lapse in judgment was more horrifying to Luke himself for that very reason, and resolves for me, at least, why he would isolate himself like he does. 

I liked Luke’s death. I liked that it’s hinted that he was ready to go, anyway, and he got to go out heroically in the end.

I LOVED Luke and Leia’s reunion. Oh my god. The tears. I just. Can’t get over it. Especially knowing that Carrie Fisher wrote that scene? Fuck me

Cons:

It feels like 3 different films crammed together into 2 ½ hours. One of these films, I very much wanted to watch, but was never given enough of (Rey’s story). Another of these films, I wanted to want to watch, but found myself losing interest as time wore on (Finn’s story). The remaining one - I could have done without entirely, and I ended up resenting completely by the film’s finish (Poe’s story). 

Some of the humor worked, but a lot of it really didn’t - especially the gag about zapping dudes into walls at dramatic/semi-dramatic moments (Hux, Poe, and Finn). Granted, humor is pretty subjective, but for comparison, I either loved or had no issue with the humor in both The Force Awakens and Rogue One.

The preachy bits were REALLY. FUCKING. PREACHY. Like, dude, I agree with the points you’re making, but wow, I’d appreciate if you didn’t insult my intelligence by being so god damned ON THE NOSE about it. I thought this movie was about ~ambiguity~ And yes, I’m talking about the “don’t abuse animals”, “it’s a WAR MACHINE”, and “men don’t respect feminine women” thing. I felt like these moments were 4th-wall-breaking and did nothing to serve the story or the characters, not to mention being out of place in a Star Wars film (Star Wars is cheesy, but not THAT kind of cheesy).

Rey’s part of the story ends about 2/3 of the way in. After her battle with Kylo, she pretty much disappears from the narrative, only making a quick cameo at the end of the film. Seriously. The movie pretty much belongs to the male characters after she confronts Snoke. 

Rey never truly suffers any lasting consequences for her choices, whether emotionally or physically. Compare this to Luke’s defeat by Vader in Empire, which leaves him physically maimed and emotionally broken and betrayed. Rey is sad when she admits the truth of her parentage, yeah, and she’s not happy when Kylo usurps the First Order command, but even if this betrayal devastates her, we don’t get to see her break down under these revelations. It might be hard for Rey to acknowledge her shitty parents, but does verbalizing this hinder Rey in any way? Does it introduce an obstacle that seems impossible to overcome? Is it truly her lowest point? Ask the same questions of Kylo becoming the Supreme Leader, with regard to Rey’s feelings. Is this betrayal on the level of Anakin to Padme? Hell, even on the level of Obi Wan to Luke? Rey wrestles with Kylo over the lightsaber, nopes the fuck out, and then magically appears on the Falcon, hollering jovially about how swashbuckling and fun it is to be gunning down the First Order. In other words, she feels like she’s had an easy time of it. We really needed a scene where she shows some emotional wounds - whether when Kylo is passed out and she’s about to leave him, perhaps looking down at him with longing and sorrow, deliberating on why she should, but can’t, kill him - or whether at the end, sharing pain with Leia. But it’s like her failures don’t touch her or her story.

I’m a huge Reylo stan, but I’ve got to be honest - Kylo and Rey’s dynamic, while easily the most intriguing thing about the movie, ended up being severely underwhelming. Four conversations, and then she’s ready to go-to-bat for him? When they were touching hands in the hut, I literally was like, “Wait. Is that it? Did I blink and miss something?” They chopped Reylo down to the barest minimum of relationship progression, leaving out a lot of story-telling beats that would have bridged the gap between their antagonism and their intimacy. I felt cheated out of their story, and I really wanted to be on board with them, considering their shared loneliness and character comparison/contrast was something I was extremely excited about going into this film. I’ve read one-shot fanfics with more elegant development than this film.

I’m NOT a Snoke stan, nor was I terribly interested in his backstory or in coming up with random ass theories involving his backstory, but damn. Snoke’s abrupt dismissal from the narrative, despite being an awesome scene in isolation, feels cheap retroactively, and I can empathize with the fans who feel let down about his meaningless identity (especially when they were taunted by LF for giving enough of a shit to come up with theories about said character). The truth is that, since the sequel trilogy takes place within an established universe - and Star Wars, at that - we, the audience ARE owed a bare minimum amount of explanation for Snoke’s existence, his power, and his goals. Where was he 30 years ago, when Palpatine was in power? If you can’t at least give me something, my suspension of disbelief is shattered. And no, it’s not my fucking job, as a member of the audience, to fill in the blanks with regards to basic storytelling. At this point, why the hell couldn’t Snoke have been Darth Plageius? Or Palpatine reborn? Or whoever the fuck. If any further context had been given to him, it could only have added some meat to the story - its not like this information would have detracted from Kylo’s killing of him (if anything, it would have made that moment even more awesome). I mean, you had to hold my hand about “evil arms dealers” and “animal rights” and “she wasn’t interested in LOOKING like a hero”, but you can’t give me some damn context for Snoke? And no, I don’t give a fuck that Palpatine had no backstory in the original movies - right, we knew everything we needed to know about him, which was that he was a super powerful Force-wielder who took control of the galaxy. I wasn’t wondering, “Hmm, I wonder where that other super evil bad guy was 30 years ago while he was coming to power!” about Palpatine, because there was no frame of reference for that - and now, with the prequel trilogy, there’s definitely no need. But hey, for Snoke? Yes. Yes, that sort of information is relevant here. Even your most basic bitch casual fan left The Force Awakens wondering, “I wonder what that Snoke guy, who is most certainly older than 30 years of age, was doing three decades ago?”

Finn’s whole story was underwhelming, as much as I liked both he and Rose together. Nothing of consequence came of their story, whether by plot movement or emotional revelations - save that he decided, somewhat sloppily, to die for the Resistance (because he didn’t want to be an apathetic asshole like DJ, or whatever), only to have his choice undermined at the last minute. Nothing about his arc resonated with me. Perhaps because there just wasn’t enough time devoted to him? As much as I hate the whole “Finn is always sidelined uwuwuwu” discourse, I have to agree with them here. Furthermore, I feel like his prior-stormtrooper-ness is totally irrelevant to the portrayal of his character? It was bad enough in The Force Awakens that he didn’t seem affected by having to kill his fellow stormtroopers, and it has continued to be irrelevant in The Last Jedi. I was really hoping for some sort of moment where he and Rose connected over the deaths of Paige and his stormtrooper brethren, people killed while fighting in militaries, whether by choice or by force. This personal soul searching would have been much more poignant than the preachy babble (none with which I disagree, let it be noted) we got. I mean, the revelation that the Resistance and the First Order both get supplied from the same people who vacation on Canto Bight doesn’t really add anything - stakes, revelation, dimension - to the actual story. Like, do I suddenly not care about the Resistance getting blown out of the sky? Should I actually root for the First Order to wipe them out, so that the war will stop? Does this information seriously tempt Finn away from the whole stupid conflict? Does it change ANYTHING for ANYONE? (Hint: It doesn’t). 

I absolutely hate that Poe is being groomed to be Leia’s “good” son. Like, if I could kill something with fire in this movie, it would be this. I absolutely hate that Leia didn’t even spare her son and her brother a backwards glance at the end of the film, when they set off to flee through the caves. Perhaps this wouldn’t sting so much if Carrie were still alive and there was a chance of filming a reunion and reconciliation between mother and son, but that is not to be. 

I hate that Poe, who is NOT a main character, who was a perfectly killable side character in the previous movie, actually has the most dynamic arc in the whole film. Somehow, in a film that is supposed to be about a young woman, and in the midst of several intriguing female characters both old and new, it’s the most boring male character who gets the most agency and screentime. (I love that people were worried that Kylo would usurp Rey, but honesty…it was Poe).

Poe also has a higher kill count than Kylo Ren in terms of people who died because he was a Stupid Male, and yet Kylo Ren is the villain whose redemption is merely teased, as opposed to set into action? I mean, Poe was better at wiping out the whole resistance than the actual Supreme Leader, but nobody thinks he needs a redemption arc? oh, I guess he Learned From His Failures, so its all good.

Anytime someone said “spark”, I died a little inside.

“Hope is like the sun” - kill me now please

Leia spacewalking is an idea that I like on paper, but thought it was awkward in how it played out on screen.

Wow, so, Finn and Rey - two characters I was dying to have reunite - have NO actual dialogue exchanges. But we have enough time for Poe to say Hi to Rey but like Poe is the main character now don’t you know Like, what the fuck.

Okay, venting done.

#tlj spoilers #fandom wank #unpopular opinions #the last jedi #reylo #supreme leader snoke #snoke theory #my garbage #tlj wank #tlj reactions

[wordsablaze]

Bombdiggity Brunets 2

Steve's caring nature gets him ambushed and of course Jonathan is the one to find and try to help the poor boy... Lowkey Stonathan. Enjoy!

A/N: I know, I know, it’s the world’s least inventive title. I just got such a lovely response (mostly on ao3) that I had to continue! The whole party is in this chapter and there are mentions of past attempts at non-con, as well as a nightmare. Oh, and Dustin is extremely protective.

"I wish we were dreaming," Jonathan replies five minutes later, but it doesn't matter that his reply wasn't immediate because none of them are going to think about anything else anytime soon.

They'd lifted the limp Steve onto the couch and tried to make him as comfortable as possible, Joyce biting her nails and Will humming 'Should I Stay Or Should I Go?' under his breath like a looped cassette.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," Dustin repeats over and over as he walks in.

Jonathan watches as Steve stirs even in his drugged sleep - the teenager and Dustin had built up a bond closer than brothers - but whatever they'd given him had obviously been way too strong to be legal.

"What happened to our Steve?" Dustin asks and not even Joyce makes a surprised sound at the possessive pronoun because he is attached to all of them and they were all fond of him.

"Some idiots attacked him," Jonathan replies, not wanting to go into details and scare the kid.

"Then why aren't we out going after them, kicking their as-"

"Language..." Joyce mutters weakly, biting her lip as soon as she's said it.

Dustin has the decency to look slightly sheepish. "Sorry, Mrs Byers."

Jonathan stifles a laugh, taking a moment to wonder how on earth the curly-haired kid had gotten here so quickly, only to give up on the thought as the rest of the party walks in.

Joyce makes a small noise that seems to say 'why are there suddenly so many children who should be asleep in their own houses suddenly wide awake in my house instead?' but she quickly recovers, ushering them all inside and shutting the door; there's not much that can surprise her anymore.

"Hurt?" Eleven questions as she kneels in front of Steve then reels back. "Drug."

Mike steadies her before frowning at the unconscious teenager. "What happened?"

"Hurt..." Eleven repeats, reaching a hand out to touch Steve's bruised face.

A small part of Jonathan knows he should be explaining, should be saying something, should be doing anything but standing still, but he can't bring himself to interrupt the kids' theorising.

"It wasn't Billy, was it?" Max asks quietly, but it sounds more like a statement than an inquiry.

Jonathan shakes his head, finally feeling like he can contribute once again. "I don't know- we don't know who the men were."

Lucas squeezes Max's hand in what's probably supposed to be a subtle way but honestly couldn't be any more obvious.

Joyce walks back into the room, at which point the seven of them realise she'd walked out in the first place. She looks at them with an endearingly sad expression and chews on her lip for a minute before saying, "We need to wake him up."

"Wait, El, didn't Hopper come with you?" Dustin asks, speaking up for the first time since his apology for the angry explosion.

Eleven nods. "Outside."

Dustin looks torn between going to find the Chief and staying where he is knelt beside Steve so Jonathan coughs. "I'll go get him, yeah?"

He's exhaling shakily before anyone can thank him, breathing in the cold air as if it's gaseous courage. The sharp late evening breeze pricks his skin but he's hardly concerned, Steve's oddly terrified expression haunting his vision continuously.

"You okay, kid?" Hopper asks as if he was the one searching for Jonathan and not the other way around.

"I- um, yeah... Dustin wants you." Jonathan doesn't even look at the Chief, knowing his face will show a pity he doesn't want.

He follows Hopper inside and ruffles Will's hair when the younger Byers brother hugs him tightly. The two of them have seen a lot of disturbing things in their life but Steve being injured so badly is way too strange, way too unexpected, way too surreal.

Hopper seems to be having a rapid conversation with Dustin and Eleven by the time Jonathan can focus again, the three of them repeatedly glancing at Steve and occasionally looking to Jonathan for some reason.

Dustin throws his hands up after a while, retreating to Steve's side for a few minutes of awkward hushed conversations before apparently giving up and clambering onto the couch, practically draping himself over his self-proclaimed brother. Nobody laughs or protests, knowing that Dustin is strangely over-protective of Steve in particular and he's not fooling anyone by claiming it's only for the hairstyling tips.

"Move." Eleven's voice is hard and strong as she walks towards the group, her decision clearly made.

Everyone but Dustin and Jonathan does exactly that, grabbing someone's hand and standing against one of the walls. Dustin refuses to move, latching onto Steve, and Jonathan figures that, if something goes wrong, a middle schooler probably doesn't know as much about helping the injured as he does. Eleven nods at them as if praising something their choice and raises her hands, shutting her eyes and breathing so slowly it looks like she's stopped needing oxygen.

There's an alarmingly still silence in the room until Eleven's eyes fly open and she slowly clenches her fist.

Steve shudders before starting to tremble, more and more violent until his eyes fly open and he falls off the couch, retching. Dustin shrieks as he also overbalances so Jonathan darts forwards and rolls Steve out of Dustin's way to prevent further injuries to his already battered body.

Then Steve is gagging, spitting out something that looks like it has a mind of his own and gasping for breath between his heaving. Eleven winces but curls her other fist, the rest of the group watching as Steve's body rids itself of whatever he'd been given to subdue him. Nobody relaxes until Steve groans, his body going limp as he slumps against Jonathan, Eleven nodding in satisfaction.

"Hey, Steve, you look like sh-"

"Shut it, Dusty," Steve interrupts, his voice barely a whisper, quiet and jagged.

Dustin just beams, holding his nose and wrapping his arms around Steve, almost elbowing Jonathan in the process.

Steve tenses and, even though he weakly wraps his arms around Dustin in return, everyone teen and above in the room can tell his mind is elsewhere. Not that that stops him, he's Steve Harrington, initially mother of four but now definitely more, and he won't ever put himself above anyone else, especially the kids.

Dustin only clambers off Steve when Joyce demands they all gather in Will's room for a sleepover-esque meeting, at which point he gently pats Steve's head in an almost comical way and waves as he's pulled out of the room, allowing Steve to finally wince and shut his eyes, his face paler than should be possible for anyone who spends so much time in the sun as he watches over his kids.

And finally, Steve can think again, his mind racing back to the darkness of the alley and the slobbery gestures of unwanted affection that had been inescapable and much worse than the demogorgons because he can understand monsters that come from a parallel dimension and are born of what looks like possessive slime but he can't understand monsters that look human, talk human, smell human, but act so inhuman that his mind is sent into a frenzy of disbelief, horror, and confusion.

"Steve?" Jonathan asks and Steve jumps, realising that he's leaning against the other brunette and also that he doesn't really mind it.

"I need to... I need- go back." Steve shakes his head. "Parents- looking... will be looking? For me..."

Hopper and Joyce frown, their expressions clearly skeptical and unwilling to let Steve go anywhere out of their sight.

"I can drive him back?" Jonathan offers, wanting to cry at Steve's lack of spirit.

Hopper and Joyce once again frown but this time, it's kinder, more knowing, with a hint of amusement. Eventually, Joyce nods. "But if anything happens, you come right back, yeah?"

Jonathan nods and notices that Steve seems to have taken on a green hue. "Actually, I think he's going to throw up."

Sure enough, Steve's stomach tries to empty itself out despite having nothing inside and he coughs, groaning, his head pounding like it's being slammed onto the floor once again.

Joyce makes a sound that only a mother can manage, sounding both terrified, pitying, and protective.

"Sorry," Steve mumbles, his eyes dropping as he tries to fight his urge to sleep the world away.

"No, hey, don't say that... it isn't your fault," Jonathan says before either of the parents can, leaning forwards and practically wrapping himself around Steve.

"He's not going anywhere," Hopper declares as he assesses the barely-awake and shivering Steve; Steve probably would have protested but he's far too busy falling asleep on Jonathan, who's a mixture of elated, angry, disbelieving, and concerned.

"Well, he's not sleeping on the couch," Jonathan declares firmly, his voice the firmest it's ever been. "He can have my bed for tonight."

"Jonathan..." Joyce starts but sees the look on his face and sighs, her hands on her hips. "Alright."

Hopper grins. "I guess I get to upgrade to the couch then, huh?"

The three of them share a look that renders their previous decision absolutely rejected but before any of them can confirm it aloud, Eleven walks in with a blanket and a waffle. "For Steve," she says, a rough smile on her face.

Hopper's face softens as he takes the two things from her and passes them to Joyce, then following Eleven back to the other room so he can make sure the kids are all okay and on their way to sleep. Joyce places the waffle on the table but wraps the blanket around the two boys, kissing the top of Jonathan's head.

"Mom-"

"I already know and your sleeping bag is in the cupboard as usual in case you were wondering."

Jonathan grins for a second before awkwardly pushing Steve's weight onto Joyce and standing up, shaking his numb legs a little. Once he can feel his feet again, he wraps one of Steve's arms around his shoulders and all but drags Steve to his room, stumbling no less than eight times on the way.

Steve half wakes up long enough to frown in confusion, mutter an apology, poke Jonathan's nose by accident, and trip over his own feet, landing on the bed.

Jonathan throws his hands up in frustration just as Joyce laughs from the doorway. "Did he just poke you?"

"I don't know?"

Joyce shakes her head and throws a blanket over Steve, kissing the top of Jonathan's head once again. "Night."

"Night, mom."

Jonathan lets his eyes shut but he can't bring himself to sleep, restlessly changing position or sitting up and glancing over at Steve every few minutes.

It's a good thing too, because it means he's wide awake and ready to jump up when he hears someone softly whimper.

At first, he thinks it's Will back with another of his Upside Down nightmares, but the door is still firmly closed. His heart hammering in his chest from being awoken so abruptly, he sits up and looks around, gasping when he catches sight of Steve twisting and trembling in his clearly disturbing sleep.

He's up in an instant, his previous nightmares about the demogorgon seeming to be nothing in comparison to Steve's pale and scrunched up face. Despite his eyes being squeezed shut, they're clearly moving, his dream obviously a flashback of some kind. Steve's hands are uselessly clenching into fists but it's only when his breathing quickens alarmingly that Jonathan reaches out to steady the boy.

Steve stills at the touch and Jonathan sighs in relief but it turns out Steve isn't calming down, he's freezing in fear, and he's thrashing on the bed within seconds, sobbing, mostly asleep but awake enough to accidentally punch Jonathan's shoulder.

Jonathan stumbles back as the other boy cries out, Steve's watery eyes flying open and his breathing at a rate faster than should be biologically safe.

And Steve can sort of see past the men again, he can feel the blanket his hands are clenched around, but he can't get the taste of their poisonous affection out of his mind and he's spitting, gagging, trying to cry them away from him, clawing at his skin to rip their presence far from here, where they can never touch him again.

"Steve, Steve, hey, Steve, it's Jonathan, come on, it's only me, Steve, hey, can you hear me?"

Steve slams his eyes shut and weakly nods, flinching when someone settles on the bed beside him but trying to relax a little when he smells the familiar Byers' cologne.

It's strange, he manages to think even amongst so much panic, how a usually irrelevant scent can be so grounding, so reassuring, so safe.

He doesn't realise he'd been crying until he feels the gentle presence of tears on his face, tears that have been sliding down his bruised skin and rolling under his wobbling chin. He lifts a shaking hand to wipe the salty water away and discovers that he's still releasing tears, still unable to forget the stench of alcohol above him.

"Steve?"

He can't move, can't acknowledge Jonathan, can't open his eyes because he's scared- no, he's downright terrified of the men being millimeters away again, the one with a golden tooth and the one with a crooked smile that promises nothing but trouble, and so he can't bring himself to breathe until his lungs scream in stress and he has to cough, cursing himself and desperately drawing in breath.

"No-" he croaks.

"Hey, hey, can you hear me?" Jonathan asks, and then the weight next to him disappears and there's someone kneeling beside the bed and he can't tell who they are until he breathes in deeply and catches the scent of whatever that liquid is you need to develop photos.

But then he's worried, scared, terrified he's still in the alley and someone is taking a photo of him so they can show his parents and make them so mad because he's meant to be strong and he's supposed to be able to handle himself and he's going to be in so much trouble when they find out and they might send him away, far away from the party, who he's grown so fond of and he'll have to invent a long-distance walkie talkie because there's no way he can find another gang of middle schoolers but he isn't nearly smart enough for that and so he'll be alone again which means he'll have no purpose in the world and it'll be because of how weak he is, how stupid, how utterly useless and-

"Steve!"

He jumps.

"Steve! Come on, come back to me, you're gonna be fine, hey, you're okay, I'm still here, only me, you're okay..."

"Th- They- They wanted..." he trails off, shutting his eyes and groaning, doubling over so his head rests on top of the blanket.

"I'm sorry, man, you didn't deserve that," Jonathan says sincerely, definitely not expecting the tiny bark of laughter that escapes Steve.

"But- but I did... I did, didn't I? I'm ju- jus- just so... so-"

"Whatever you're thinking, it's not true," Jonathan says softly, wanting to cry but also wanting Steve to stop crying. It doesn't seem like Steve even knows he's still crying, and he probably doesn't care.

Steve finally lifts his head up and looks, really looks at Jonathan, his intense gaze both intimidating and pitiful.

"Are- are you, um, are you sure?" Steve asks, and Jonathan gets the feeling that nobody's really told him just how important, how appreciated, how incredible he really is - something that makes his heart clench in regret.

"I'm so sure," Jonathan replies, "that I could defeat one of those stupid demogorgons with my sure-ness."

Despite the tragically beautiful tears glistening on his face, Steve's lips curve themselves into a smile and he releases a small chuckle, some of the remaining panic visibly draining from his expression.

"Sorry."

"Why?" Jonathan asks in confusion, his heart a little lighter at the thought of Steve being a little more relaxed.

"I, uh, I woke you..."

Jonathan shakes his head and sends Steve the warmest smile he can muster. "I'm glad you did."

The shock on Steve's face would be comical were it not so heartbreaking; nobody deserves to live life thinking that waking someone who cares about you up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare caused by something absolutely horrifying and beyond anyone's control makes you a burden, nobody deserves that.

Not knowing what to do when Steve starts blinking so furiously he has to be trying to hold back tears, Jonathan swallows and stands himself up, waiting a few seconds before perching on the bed and wrapping an arm around Steve. He couldn't be more relieved when a head softly rests on his shoulder and he feels the other boy shaking, not because he wants Steve to he upset but because he's glad he can act as safety, a trustworthy ballast, a potential source of comfort.

After a minute or so of quiet sobbing and gentle humming, Jonathan shifts so he's also sitting against the headboard, Steve then diagonally leaning on his chest with his head on Jonathan's shoulder. Shooting down any attempts at apologies, Jonathan wraps himself around the other teenager, letting his head rest on the perfect fluffy waves that are someone better than his own hair despite everything.

"You're going to get better," Jonathan soothes, knowing that Steve probably won't be perfectly alright for a while but also knowing there's a never a point in your life where you can't heal, even if it is a painfully slow journey.

In that moment, there could be nothing as soothing as hearing Steve's small hum of disbelieving yet trusting agreement.

Steve's breathing finally, finally slows down to a rate that can be considered normal and the two of them curl around each other in a way that's sure to bring in stiff limbs in the morning but they don't think that far ahead, not caring about the rest of the world and only dimly realising that their hands had somehow folded over one another and their fingers had intertwined somewhere along the way before accompanying each other in the most peaceful sleep possible for them.

Jonathan does, however, have just enough time to wonder if this is indeed a figment of his imagination after all.

like/reblog but don’t repost, thanks!

#stranger things #fanfiction #steve harrington #dustin henderson #will byers #jonathan byers #steve x jonathan #protective jonathan #hurt steve harrington #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #eleven #jane hopper #mike wheeler #joyce byers #jim hopper #fanfic #tv show #stonathan #hurt/comfort #nightmares #cuddling #my writing #bomdbiggity brunets