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#so my brain thinks eating it would be the logical thing to do
running-in-the-dark · 2 months
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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yumeboshi · 9 days
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𝜗𝜚。..❛ #02. XXX!
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𐙚 topic。.hcs of random things that turn on hsr men
.。𝜗𝜚 cw。suggestive content, i wrote this with no brain, MINORS DNI
.。𝜗𝜚 a/n。aven, sunday, and blade. I wanna write for my bootyhill but i need to study him more to get a grip of him lol
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#AྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིVENTURINE ⇢ rebuking his argument in a fight
。i js know he would go crazy when you do this 。he’d find people who just agree with him as boring. To him it may look even insincere 。but you? countering his smartly crafted arguments with irresistible logic with your pretty brain, glaring at him as you do with those adorable eyes? 。this man would go from being mad to being horny. tbh he would have probably already been horny in the argument 。nobody can be more masochistic than he is
“ARE YOU STUPID?” You glare at your boyfriend who looks nonchalant as he idly examines the coin between his fingers. “Fucking look at me. Do you know what happens when you join forces with them? You’re just risking the IPC and it will eventually lead to your unfortunate befall.”
You continue barreling on furiously with concrete points. Every time you prove him wrong, his eyes dance and he tries his hardest to bite back the grin that plays at his lips as you rant on. You are so perfect, he thinks- he is nonetheless impressed at you, your wondrous little brain. Something snaps inside of him when he sees you focused on derailing his points, your lips moving quickly to spit out syllables. He feels a loud moan caught in his throat.
“I get it, I’m sorry, princess, I won’t do it.” he suddenly surrenders and you eye him suspiciously as he advances, hands sneaking up to your back. “Let’s talk this out in bed, ‘m gonna apologize to you there.” He says softly, giving you lovely kisses along your neck but the way his fingers dig into your skin lets you know he’s not going to wait any longer.
And you will be confused as hell, because although you did win the argument, you feel like you just lost something else, a hidden little game he never taught you the rules to.
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#SྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིUNDAY ⇢ whipped cream on your lips
。hear me out… i have a gut feeling he likes it a little too much 。ik it’s totally random but he will go nuts when he sees you bite down a particularly creamy cake that promptly smears its remains over your mouth- he tries to think of something more dignified, but he just can’t. His poor brain keeps returning to the most vulgar visuals of you. 。he will always point out whatever you had near your mouth when you two eat, because he’s such a clean freak, but anything with cream, specifically white whipped cream, he will be unable to comment on it and fall weirdly silent to he point you are confused why you not hear his scolding to wipe your mouth. 。he’ll just watch you eat dessert with a smile on your face as you savor the taste innocently. Unfortunately his brain is not, and he will start to feel his cock struggle under the fabric. 。”you have cream over your mouth, sweetheart. should i clean it for you?” he’ll sound restrained, like he’s being choked but his expression doesn’t waver. 。and after he found out his new obsession, he will literally only buy you huge whipped cream cakes for dessert.
“THE CAKE HERE IS SO GOOD.” You savor the taste happily and dig into the whipped cream cake and eat without much care. “Where’s it from?”
Sunday is too busy staring at you to register that. The creamy ring around your pink lips. It bothers him in a bad way. It’s making him feel like he is out of breath. His wings flicker wildly like a cooling fan, trying to blow off the heat that suddenly started to build inside his stomach like a raging primal flame that’s trapped by his own conscience.
You tap his shoulder gently and he snaps back to reality and tries to stare at your eyes instead, yes, lovely eyes, he thinks- your words phase in and out as he gulps, darting his eyes back to the cake.
“…the brand? The cake brand?” You ask again, frowning at his silence.
“Ah, yes, sorry, sweetheart. I was thinking of something else for a moment.” He breathlessly apologizes, the words spilling out a little too quickly like an excuse that makes your frown deepen in confusion— he closes his eyes and opens them again so the heat will ebb away. But his plans are obliterated when you take a portion of the cake and eat it, all while looking at him in the eye with curious doe eyes.
That’s when he can’t restrain himself anymore. He suddenly seizes your chin with his gloved hand, making you squeal in surprise when he practically devours your lips, licking up the cream residue around them roughly before shoving it inside your mouth with his tongue. The sweet cream melts when it gets to your mouth, mixing with his saliva that dips down your chin to make messy thick lines.
“It was from a shop at Golden Hour. I hope you like the taste,” he’d say as if he didn’t just feast on your mouth like a starved beast. “Me personally, i think it’s a tad too sweet.”
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#BྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིLADE ⇢ treating his wounds
。it’s ironic because Blade doesn’t want to be healed at all 。but how could he refuse you you’re frantically at his door with an emergency kit, worry written all over you- you are like a cute puppy that keeps following him around. 。he lets you do it reluctantly at first, grumbling about it inwardly 。but when you lift up his shirt with no hesitation to put gauze to soak in the blood, his muscles tense visibly, when your touch ghosts over his skin like tiny little lilies blooming in their wake. 。what have you done to him? He feels nothing but tension and something he didn’t want to register, something a little too pleasant to him. 。and at some point he will actually look forward to having his would treated by you. He still likes pain, but he likes your touch drifting over his bruised skin like an innocent butterfly way more.
“DOES IT HURT?” You softly pat the ointment around another fresh scar on his broad chest. It pains you to see that most of the scars are near his heart. You sigh like a worried mother. “You worry me.”
“I enjoy it,” he grunts in response, but his brain ran a quick recap. Enjoy what? The pain? Or your smooth touch?
“Stay still,” you say, and he does, as you carefully squeeze in another ointment into an ugly looking scar. His eyes never leave you the whole time, his muscles tense at the pain but otherwise he’s relaxed. His intimidating stare makes you scared a little, considering this mysterious man didn’t speak his mind often.
“I think that’s it,” you say, quickly trying to lower Blade’s shirt back- but the man grabs your wrist mid-action. You jump, confused. His eyes are unreadable but he states, “You’re not done.”
you frown in puzzlement. “I double-checked, im pretty sure I didn’t miss a spot.”
He lifts his shirt up and with his bandaged finger, cuts open the scar you just treated for him, making it ooze another layer of fresh blood around the dried wound. His lips form a rare smirk as he looks at your wide-eyed stare.
“There, you have a new wound to work on.”
He will do that until you are out of ointment, and the next day he will come visit you first this time with another set of fresh scars.
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bluejutdae · 1 month
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“Oh, let there be hotel complaints” | Chan x you
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warnings: nsfw, D/s dynamics, face and pussy slapping, overstimulation, mention of safewords, Daddy kink.
This is just Chan brain rot and my mind gently suggested me the image of first time inexperienced Dom Chan who wants to try some BDSM but he’s too scared to hurt you so he decides he’a going to try on himself all that he’s gonna do to you…
Title from Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier
Chan has had plenty of vanilla sex, but then you introduced him to BDSM, and especially the concepts of Doms and Subs, and something switched in him. He started reading online forums and blogs. And when the topic arose again, he clearly told you he’s interested, but he won’t do it yet. Because the thing is: despite how hard even just reading stuff about it makes him, he has no experience, and he won’t risk hurting you.
So, he does what any good Dom should do in his eyes, he tries things on himself.
One day you turn home to find his face red and a bit swollen, but when you ask about it, he just distracts you with filthy kisses. What you don’t know is that he slapped and slapped and slapped himself until he deemed he had found the right strength to use.
Another day he disappears for the whole afternoon and, when you see him in the living room, he looks flushed and a little exhausted, but giddy. Just like Changbin when he maxes out at the gym and he’s incredibly tired but proud of himself. What you don’t know is that he spent the afternoon edging himself with a vibrator on his shaft and his tip and, after hours of denying himself, he came and proceeded to overstimulate himself, because it’s only logical to pair up the two experiences, right?
What you noticed though, is that there’s a change in him. He’s more assertive with you on some days, makes sure you eat and doesn’t let you go to sleep if you haven’t removed your makeup. Pushes you to sleep more when he knows you have had a bad day at work, and every time you comply and thank him for taking care of you, he kisses a little filthier, holds you a little firmer.
It’s months later when he asks if you can try something kinkier. You’re excited and happy and you start to mentally prepare yourself to be a good teacher without forgetting this is about pleasure. But then Chan shows you exactly how deep the still water runs deep.
“You’re gonna sit there” he says and he’s so commanding yet sexy you melt instantly. “And we’re gonna have a quick talk. Nothing too extreme is going to happen today, but I need to establish some rules”. You nod in response, and he looks at you with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “You’re gonna use your pretty words, baby girl.” That’s it. Not a suggestion, not an option, a rule. Fuck, you knew he would be good at this.
“I understand.”
He’s quick with the rules: you must verbally answer, you’re gonna use the traffic light system for now, you must use the safe word if you need to, and the moment you think something’s wrong he’s gonna stop. You also must ask for what you want, not just take it.
Not too long later you’re on the bed, shirt previously discarded and clad only in your panties. And Chan is completely dressed, hovering over you. He’s been kissing you deeply and touching you just enough to make you want so much more. You’re embarrassingly wet and you’re sure you’ll have to throw away your panties. He’s holding your crossed arms at the wrists and, in doing so, he’s holding you down. You try to buck and raise your ass to relieve some of the dull aching you’re feeling in your core. “C’mon Channie, touch me.”
“But I am touching you…” he replies with a smirk on his lips. His free hand caresses your face, and he tests the gives of your lower lip with his thumb. When you suck on it, though, he takes it away and shakes his head. “What did I say?” You are lost, what happened? Did he say something?
“You’re just a cockhungry whore, uh? You can’t even wait for me to give you something, you’re so greedy you just want to take and take.”
Oh.
The realization in your face makes Chan smile. “There it is… tell me what you did wrong, and I might consider going easy on you.”
“I didn’t ask to suck your thumb-” he knows there’s something you want to add, he knows about your Daddy kink. And it turns him so fucking on, but he’s not gonna press about it. He considers your words and considers just letting it slide, but there’s flames licking at his insides.
“Too bad you didn’t ask, uh?”
Sudden, sharp pain irradiates on your left cheek and it’s less the pain and more the surprise that makes you gasp and, less than a second later, moan. Chan wants to apologize, years of conditioning making him feel guilty and mean and abusive, but he can’t deny what he feels.
He grabs your face, fingers splayed where he slapped mere seconds ago, wet thumb digging into the opposite cheek and kisses you messy and filthy, sucking your tongue in his mouth. Chan removes the last piece of clothing you have on and sits on his knees, with his thighs slightly spread apart. He holds your legs open with firm hands, one on your calf and the other clamped around your knee. He’s just… staring at your pussy. You try to squirm away and close your legs, but his eyes are suddenly on you. There’s a warning in his face that accompanies a displeased sound. “Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry” you blurt out trying to repair something before you do too much damage. You can feel wetness dripping down your folds, and Chan can too. “You’re so wet. Fuck, you love being on display for me…” He has never felt this. There’s a power rush, a shiver starting from his spine and moving towards opposite endings: towards his brain, making him lose words and making him want to act up, want to deliciously destroy you, making a mess of you and then put you back together; and on the other ending, traveling south towards his cock and balls. He’s been ready to cum the moment he sat you down and you agreed to do this.
“Love, are you just going to stare at me?” You ask when you grow too impatient to keep sitting still, a bit embarrassed too by his too focused staring. He shakes his head, and there is a quiet chuckle that can be heard in the room. His lips raise in a slow smirk, like he’s just been made aware of a secret, and you didn’t. And maybe he did.
Chan made plans for tonight. Plural. You told him you like not knowing everything in advance, so he planned different plans based on your responses to his actions. It was harder than organizing recording sessions. But since he saw your reactions earlier, he decides to stick to a precise plan. So, he acts in it.
Quickly and hard he delivers a slap on your inner thigh, the pain is a delicious sensation, hot and cold at the same time. A moment later the skin reddens to show Chan’s handprint and if possible, his cock gets ever harder. It twitches a little from where it’s hidden, head flushed and red, slowly but constantly leaking precum, forming a wet stain on his slacks .
“Fuck Chan!” You cry to his direction, eyes closed shut and brows knit in pleasure. You can feel heat where he hit you, and you want to press your fingers into it, wanting to feel the warmth and the pain and the pleasure. The moment you are ready to ask him for something, he delivers another slap in the same place. This time, though, Chan doesn’t let you breathe it out, doesn’t let you take your time to recover from it, no. He rakes his nails on your hot skin, watches as the skin quickly goes from red to white and to an even redder red where he scratched you. Digs his digits into your skin and revels in your gasps, feeling hot and ready to lose control, if a wind would blow in the room, he would cum in an instant. He’s ready for your next moan, your next gasp, but you’re quiet and your legs are trembling, and he’s scared he’s gone too far. He’s on the verge of apologizing, carrying you to the bathroom for a warm bath and cuddles and more apologies when he realizes he read you wrong. He didn’t give you too much, he gave you exactly what you needed, because -unbelievably so, for him- you’re coming. Clit untouched and your sopping hole twitching and throbbing around nothing, but you’re clearly coming. This is a different one, though. You’ve never been quiet while having an orgasm, but watching you with more attention calms him down, you look fine. He kisses you from your thigh to your cheekbone, stopping to nibble at your nipples, tongue lapping at your skin and sucking quick marks on you. “My pretty slut” a kiss on the nose, “you’re so greedy” a kiss on the right cheek, “your little pussy came untouched” a kiss on the forehead, “now I must give it some attention” a kiss on your chin. “Tell me your color?” He adds, tone sweeter and a hand caressing your face like you’re made of the finest glass.
“Green”. A smile appears on his face and he manhandles you to straddle his slacks covered thigh. Your wetness is seeping through the fabric, you squirm and he can see you’re embarrassed. “I told you I was gonna give it some attention. I want my baby girl to feel good.” He grabs you by your hips and forces you to move and grind your pussy on the fabric of his slacks. One of his hands sneaks into your hair and he pulls, stopping you from hiding into his neck. “No hiding. And stop hiding all your pretty sounds from me.”
The pleasure mixed with the overstimulation are overwhelming, and Chan’s new role is playing a big role in the moment and your arousal. His fingers are probably going to leave bruises in your skin, and you can’t wait to stand in front of a mirror to see them. Chan hands guide you back and forth and soon you’re clenching around nothing, “m’close Channie”, too desperate to control your movements.
“It’s okay, my baby. Just ask for it.” His hard cock is begging to be touched, still in the confines of his underwear and trousers. Yet, he has never been this hard and close to coming untouched. Your moans, the redness on your cheeks, the sweat matting your hair to your forehead and your incessant moans and cries of pleasure are making him lose his mind.
“Please Channie, can I cum?” You pant. “Let me cum, Daddy.” The last word is whispered, muffled into his shoulder but he hears it anyway. And he understands why you like it, the name giving him power, giving him a specific role, giving him the chance to give you exactly what you need.
“Then cum for Daddy.”
He watches you as cum, hands guiding your movements and his muscles flexing to give you as much pleasure as he can. He loves you like this, unabashed and free, vulnerable just for him.
But having you moaning and screaming his name is not enough. He doesn’t stop when you try to take a moment to collect yourself, he fixes his hold on your hips and forces your movements again. Back and forth, back and forth, again and again and it doesn’t matter how loud you whine, it doesn't matter your overstimulation, what matters now is making you cum another time. Anytime he pushes you towards him, he also pushes you down, setting an unforgiving pace that is torture on your sensitive clit. He’s relentless, but after just a few minutes you’re both rewarded with your legs clamping down on his thigh as you cum again. Unbelievably so, watching your second orgasm triggers his own orgasm and he moans your name loudly. He kisses you, messy and hungry, lips demanding and tongue insistent, claiming even your breath.
You’re gripping his shirt so hard, your fingers hurt. He delicately lays you down onto the bed and kisses you softly. As soon as his breathing comes back to normal, his worries come back too.
“Are you okay, baby? Did I hurt you? Was it too much? What do yo-“ you interrupt him with silly, quick kisses, trying to diminish his worries.
“I am more than okay.” A kiss. “I feel perfect.” A kiss. “You were perfect.” A kiss. “You’re always perfect, love.” A kiss. “I love you.” A kiss.
You kiss some more and he insists on showering together so he can take care of you and make sure you drink water and eat some fruit and chocolate. He tells you all about trying on himself what he did to you, and you’ve never loved him more.
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f1goat · 2 months
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more than friends ; lando norris + part five
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In which your best friend is going to help you to gain more sexual experience and say goodbye to your insecurities, but he's quick to discover that he never wants to share you and your new experiences with others - the only problem being, him having to confess his feelings.
masterlist - playlist
fem!y/n x lando norris
warnings: smut with a plot. minors dni! probably grammar or spelling errors due to english not being my first language.
requested: yes, based on this request: something with a driver sister that’s still a virgin & lando (her bestfriend) suggests to teach her things
a/n: this is a rewritten story, you can find the explanation on my profile
part one / part two / part three / part four
You can’t stop staring at Lando. Everyone else around you is doing the exact same, you’re sure of it. He’s absolutely glowing right now. After his deleted lap time from the qualifications yesterday, he came back stronger then ever. It’s only seconds before they’ll hand him his deserved trophy for the second place from this race. A smile is plastered on your face while staring at Lando. Podiums look good on him. Insanely good. 
Lando is literally glowing. Most people would blame it on the sweat, but you can’t even think about things like that right now. All logic has left your brain, you can only focus on Lando and how good he looks. 
“You did so good!” You almost scream when Lando comes to you after his podium. He’s still wearing that glow from his podium. You can smell the scent of expensive champagne. What if you would kiss Lando right now, would you taste the champagne? If there weren’t this many people around you, you’d have loved to find that out. While Lando doesn’t talk at first, you continue to praise him and his race. Lando gives you a hug, something you gladly return. 
“You know what this means, right babygirl?” Lando whispers in your ear while hugging you. You think back at the conversations between you two from earlier. Is he serious? This is what he’s thinking about right now? You wait for Lando to continue, he must mean something else. “I want you,” Lando speaks up again in a slow but firm way, “in my drivers room, so I can get my celebration right after debrief.” 
You feel your cheeks heating up, they are red now for sure. 
“Can you do that for me babygirl?” Lando continues to ask you. You can’t seem to get out any word right now, so you answer him with a nod. If you did know what to say, you’re sure the words would get lost on your tongue. Lando makes things even worse by pressing a small kiss against your forehead. You wish you could feel his lips on yours right now, but you’re fully aware of all the cameras around you. Tomorrow - or maybe even this afternoon already - you will see this fragment of your life all over social media.
You’re no stranger to social media, but whenever Lando and you make an appearance together somewhere you’re socials seem to fill up with hate. 
Lando walks away from you. It’s clear what you need to do right now. He was quite obvious about his wishes and who are you to deny those for him? Without thinking about it further, you walk back towards the McLaren motorhome. It’s not hard to get into Lando his drivers room, probably because everyone around you knows who you are - and that if they say no, they’ll have to deal with an angry Lando, but you don’t know about that. Instead of making some conversation with the cheerful people who are still around, you walk straight towards Lando his drivers room. 
When you enter his room, you start to feel a bit nervous. What does Lando expect from you? He made his wishes clear, yesterday and today. Apparently he wants to eat you out? The thought alone makes you feel even more nervous. Although you have no idea why. Lando is probably pretty good at it, so it will be more of a celebration for you then for him. Right? Maybe it’s the thought of Lando seeing everything of you that makes you nervous. He hasn’t seen your private parts before. What if they don’t look good enough? Normally Lando dates models, you bet they look a lot better then you. 
You try to shake off the negative thoughts and focus on your Instagram. The story you posted a it earlier about Lando on his podium, is getting a lot of reactions. You scroll through every one of them. When you see a notification from Lando popping up, you almost drop your phone on the floor. Is he serious?
Lando: 5 minutes babe x
Lando: maybe you can already lose some clothes :))
Only the thought about you waiting for Lando in his drivers room in only your lingerie - or maybe even naked, makes you feel too many things at once. Your stomach tightens when you think about it, you don’t know if it’s because of excitement or nerves. Without realizing it, you’re already kicking off your sneakers. Your next movements are going on automatic pilot. At this moment you don’t think about all the people who can simply just walk in and see you like this. It doesn’t even come up in your mind right now. You can only focus on doing what Lando asked you and pleasing him. In a short period of time, the floor is covered in the clothes you were wearing before. The only thing left on your body is your lingerie. It’s a simple black set, nothing too exciting but it does look nice. You think about buying an orange set someday. Are you going to keep it on or not? You doubt. Eventually you decide to fuck it and take it off as well.
You thank the warm weather of today and of this country. The thought of Lando who can be here any second, is enough to make you shiver. It feels strange to wait for Lando naked, certainly while being in his drivers room. Then you realize that Lando has never seen you like this before. The cons are starting to weight up. You start to doubt yourself more and more. What if he doesn’t like the way you look?
When the door opens you’re extremely aware of your surroundings and your own bareness. Why does it only occur to you now that literally everyone can walk in here? You let out a relieved sound when you see that it’s Lando who opened the door. Lando has never closed a door faster. When he sees the way you’re waiting for him, he hurries himself inside the room and closes the door quickly behind himself. After that he’s even more hurried to come close to you. 
Lando can’t tear his eyes away from you. He realizes that he’s staring, maybe he’s even making you uncomfortable with his staring, but he can’t stop. At this moment he doesn’t even think about looking away from you. He never saw you like this before. Everything that happened earlier between you two always happened with you in clothes. Of course, he had some information about your body from the summery looks and the bikinis. But still, this is mind-blowing to him. It’s even better then he imagined and he imagined it quite often… He lets his gaze go over every small detail of your body.
For now his focus is onto your breasts, he notices the way your nipples are sticking out. They resemble small pebbles in his mind. He wants nothing more then to shower them in kisses right now. He wants to feel them in his mouth until he feels them hardenen on his tongue, only to switch to the other one after that and experience it again. He lets his stare slide towards your most private parts. You’re sitting with your legs crossed over each other. He wants to see more of you. He wants to see everything from you. 
It can’t be right that you’re the girl who has made the most impact on him. He doesn’t even need to think about all the other girls to know for sure you’re the most beautiful one. Seeing you naked has caused him to be rock hard in only seconds. His dick is throbbing painfully. He tries to remember himself that this is all about you - and not about him, but it’s hard to stop thinking about his own pleasure while feeling as turned on as now. You’re the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, with and without clothes, and it’s doing way too much to him right now.
You start to feel a bit uncomfortable with Lando his current silence. Was it a mistake to undress this far already? Maybe you should ask him. When you start to think about what to question him, Lando lets out a soft sound. It almost sound likes a moan. You look at him. Lando is still taking in your body. It looks like he’s looking at you full with adoration and lust, or are you making that up? 
Lando walks closer to you. He takes his time to get close in front of you. When he’s finally standing in front of you, he is quick to lower himself so he’s on the same level as you. Then he eagerly puts his lips onto yours. He gives you a soft peck on your lips, before taking a seat next to you. Lando pulls you onto his lap. He makes sure you face him. At this moment he wants to see everything from your body the whole time. 
He presses a kiss against your neck. “Fucking hell babygirl,” he finally mutters. He presses another kiss against your body, this time it’s to your collarbone. “I didn’t expect you to be naked already,” Lando continues, “such a beautiful surprise.” He presses his lips against your body again and presses multiple kisses against it. Slowly he’s getting closer to your breasts. 
You’re already trembling under Lando his touch. He lets out a low groan. “Can I touch you babygirl?” He asks you. You’re quick to tell him yes. Lando takes one of your breasts into his hand, softly feeling around it. He looks at you to focus on your facial expressions, hopefully to find out what you like - and more importantly, what not. After softly feeling around your tit, he takes it in his hand and kneads it softly. 
“Such a good girl,” Lando tells you. 
Your stomach tightens. Your cheeks redden once again. Such small words, but their impact is massive.
“Such a beautiful, good girl,” Lando whispers softly. 
Lando his attention switches to your tits. Your glad about it, because it’s probably embarrassing how red your cheeks are right now. Lando lowers his face to get closer to your tits. He’s still kneading one of them. You almost jump up when you feel his lips against your other boob. He presses soft kisses against it before he starts to suck on the soft skin. You quietly follow his movements with your eyes, not looking away for the tiniest bit. It doesn’t take Lando long before pressing a kiss against your hardened nipple. After that he takes your nipple inside his mouth. You feel him sucking on it softly.
When Lando moves back, you let out a soft whimper. Lando changes his movements. He moves his hand away from your breast, slowly letting it slide lower on your body. In the mean time he lets his mouth hoover over your other boob. It doesn’t take long before he takes your nipple in his mouth. Softly sucking it in again. It surprises you when you feel your pussy clenching. It amazes you when you notice that you feel yourself getting more wet. Lando his mouth is doing all kind of things to you, you can’t complain about one tiny part of it. 
He removes his lips from your breast again. His hands are moving downwards. Quickly getting closer to your private parts. It annoys you that he doesn’t touch you where you need him. He keeps his hand barely above your pussy. You don’t even realize it when you let out a soft whine. 
Lando on the other hand is quick to notice the sound. “What’s wrong babygirl?” He asks you. You notice the small smirk that has appeared on his face. It makes you realize that he’s teasing you like this on purpose. Fucking tease. You want to tell him, but every word that leaves your mouth is begging Lando to do something about the way you’re feeling. 
“I need you,” you softly whimper.
Lando lets out a low groan. Animalistic even. The whiny undertone in your voice makes him lose his mind. He moves himself lower, making sure to take a good position in front of you. You’re still sitting on the couch, Lando is onto his knees in front of you. He takes your legs into his hands, spreading them slowly for himself. 
You look at Lando, but he doesn’t look back. All his attention is on your pussy right now. Before you can feel uncomfortable, awkward or nervous about it - Lando starts to shower you with compliments about it.
“Such a pretty pussy,” He tells you with a low voice. Carefully he slides his hand around it. He makes sure that he isn’t already touching your clit or entrance. Lando knows he’s teasing you, maybe too much even, but he can’t stop himself. He loves the soft combination from whimpers, whines and moans that are coming from your lips. It’s his celebration after all, right? When he takes a look at you, he’s quick to notice the frustrated look on your face. It makes him realize how much you need him right now. A feeling that makes him feel unbelievable good about himself. He wants you to never need anyone else like this. If it’s up to him, he’s the one who you need like this for the rest of your life.
He slides his fingers on your lips. Carefully spreading them a bit with his hands. Giving himself more to look at.
“So beautiful,” he continues to tell you. 
He lets his finger slides through your slit. It surprises him how wet you’re already are. His finger is quickly coated in your slick. 
“So wet already,” he murmurs to you.
He presses a soft kiss against the inside of your thigh. 
“Is that all for me babygirl?” He asks you. 
“Yes,” you’re quick to tell him. 
“Who’s the one who made you this wet?” Lando asks you. He knows the answer already, but he wants nothing more then to hear you say it. He needs to hear that he’s the one who caused this. 
“You Lan,” you softly confess, “it’s all because of you.”
Lando can’t withhold a soft moan after hearing your answer. He presses a few more kisses against your thighs. Slowly he moves closer to your pussy, but makes sure that he isn’t coming closer then your lips. You let out a frustrated whine.
“I need more,” you confess, “Please Lan.”
Lando presses a soft kiss against your clit this time.
“More,” you let out.
Lando grins. He softly slides his finger over your clit a couple times, but makes sure it’s still not enough for you. He presses more kisses against your inner thighs. A thought pops up in his head, what if he made you beg for it? Fuck that would be hot. His dick is getting even harder while thinking about it. 
“What do you want baby?” Lando asks you.
He makes sure his finger is dangerously close to your clit right now. Not onto it, but really close.
“You,” you whimper.
“No, no,” Lando tuts, “What do you want me to do?”
Lando his question makes you silent for a bit. He moves his finger even closer to your clit. Softly he touches it. It makes you tremble under his touch. According to you, it’s absolutely unfair what he’s doing to you. How can he makes you feel like this with barely touching you? For a few seconds you wonder if anyone else can ever makes you feel like this. You highly doubt it.
“If you don’t tell me baby, I can’t help you,” Lando teases you. 
“Fucking tease,” you groan.
“Tell me babygirl,” Lando continues to tease.
You let out a soft trail of whimpers. “Please Lan,” you softly say. He just shakes his head. “Can you please do something about it?” You continue. Lando shakes his head again. “Fuck Lando,” you groan, “just lick me please.” That seems to work. Lando doesn’t reply verbally, he moves his head as close as he can towards your pussy. 
He finally starts to do what you asked him. You remind yourself to tell him what you want sooner the next time - knowing Lando, he will be acting like this a whole lot more. Lando slowly licks around your vagina. He makes sure to lick every part of it before turning his attention to his clit. Still teasing you. When he finally reaches your clit, he presses a soft kiss against it. When you want to let out another beg - for Lando to finally do something, he already starts to place soft, small licks onto it. He’s making sure that he’s not going to fast, but also not to slow. He wants to do this right. He wants you to enjoy this just as much as he is doing right now. When you let out multiple moans, Lando increases his pace a bit.
In the mean time he slides his finger around your slit. He slowly brings his finger to your entrance, but doesn’t push it inside. Yet. Lando knows really well how much he’s teasing you, but he can’t help himself. He loves the way you response to him and the soft begs that are leaving your lips. All because of him. He has fallen in love with the desperate voice you use when you beg him for something. Lando wants to know for sure that he’s the one who makes you feel like this and that you need him. 
You buck your hips. Hopefully Lando gets the hint and finally puts his finger inside. Maybe even more then one now that you think about it. Lando doesn’t respond to your earlier movement. You open your eyes, which you had closes the whole time. To your surprise Lando is already looking at you. Staring even. Before you speak up, you admire the way he looks between your legs. You move your hands to his curls, softly tugging on them. 
Lando still makes soft licks onto your clitoris. It’s making you feel all kind of things. Sometimes he switches a bit and licks around your whole slit. But the things he’s doing to your clit right now, those are the best. Even though you still want more. Greedy, isn’t it?
“Lan,” you speak up with a soft voice. He raises his eyebrow at you, waiting for you to continue. “I need more,” you tell him. Your cheeks redden from embarrassment when you tell him that. Lando removes his mouth from you and takes a good look at you. His fingers replace the movements his tongue made earlier. It still feels good, but not as good as his tongue.
“More?” He asks you. 
“Please,” you beg.
“Tell me what you want babygirl,” Lando states. He increases his pace with his finger. He likes looking at you while you look like this. You’re shaking underneath his touch. Moans are trembling over your lips like they’re your new language. Lando wishes he could save this memory so he could look back at it and enjoy every small detail again and again. His cock is throbbing even more painfully then before.
“How longer you take, how longer you will miss my tongue onto your pussy,” Lando tells you. He hears a soft whine leaving your lips. 
“I need your fingers,” you eventually confess.
Lando still doesn’t give you what you want. “Ask me,” he tells you sternly. 
“Can you finger me?” You ask Lando softly with red cheeks. Before he can react to you, you’re already add another few words. “Please Lan?”
His boner almost explodes when he hears to soft ‘please Lan’ coming from your lips. He doesn’t say anything anymore. He’s quick to move his lips back to your clit and to move his fingers to your entrance again. This time he licks your clit even faster. He hear hard moans coming from you. Is it bad that he’s already getting addicted to the sound of your moans? He wants to be the only one who ever hears these sounds coming from your lips. He never wants to share this sound with anyone else. 
Lando pushes one of his fingers softly inside you. He feels your walls clenching around his finger. Easily he pushes in and outside of you. It doesn’t take him long before adding another finger. He increases his pace and really starts to finger fuck you. In the mean time he focuses on eating you out. He softly sucks on your clit. It makes you almost scream from pleasure. 
“Fuck Lan,” you moan when he sucks even harder on your clit.
He doesn’t response verbally, but he keeps increasing his pace. He even adds a third finger. Your wells are starting to clench around his fingers more and more. Patiently he waits for you to come. He feels your clitoris starting to throb inside his mouth. You feel your stomach tighten. Moans keep coming out of your mouth. You can’t stop yourself. 
“I’m close,” you tell Lando. He reacts by sucking even harder. He moves his fingers even faster inside you. He gives all his attention to the soft, spongy spot inside you. You let out another hard moan. 
“Can I come?” You suddenly ask him.
Lando feels overwhelmed by your sudden question. Fuck. It’s insane how it feels that you’re asking him for permission to come. You’ll literally be the death of him. While Lando doesn’t know how to respond at first, you are having more trouble with holding back your orgasm. The waves of pleasure are already hitting over you in a fast pace. You’re really close.
“Lan?” You quickly ask, hoping that he will respond to your question.
He removes his lips from your clit for a couple seconds. Not any longer then necessary. “Please do babygirl,” he tells you before taking your clit back in his mouth again. Softly sucking it before licking it with a fast pace. He focuses his gaze on your face. He can’t look away from you. When your orgasm hits you, Lando notices everything about it. He sees the way you close your eyes when the first waves hit you. He notices the way your lips are partly open, only to let out a couple soft moans. When you press your legs a bit more together, Lando stops his movements and pulls back. He doesn’t want to overstimulate you. At least, not today. It would be a nice thing to do in the future. 
Lando waits for you to say something. In the mean time he sucks your wetness off his own fingers. He takes place next to you on the couch. You quickly let your body rest against him. 
“Fuck,” you mutter, “that was really good.”
Lando shows you a small grin. “Glad you liked it,” he says. His cock is still throbbing inside of his race suit. “You taste better then the champagne,” he tells you. You let out a laugh. Without thinking about it you press a kiss against Lando his lips, he’s quick to turn it into more. When his tongue slides into your mouth, you taste the faint tase of your own slit on his tongue combined with the bitter taste of champagne. 
Then you notice Lando’s bulge in his race suit. Did eating you out make him this hard? You let your hand rest on his boner. 
“Maybe I can do something for you as well,” you tell Lando with a soft voice.
“I wish,” he grunts almost annoyed, “but we have a dinner and a party to get ready for.”
“Maybe later tonight?” You suggest. 
“I like the way your thinking babygirl,” Lando softly laughs. 
“You still deserve a celebration as well,” you tell Lando. 
“Believe me babygirl, this was a whole celebration,” he confesses, “Next time I don’t even want to stop after your first orgasm.”
“You think I can cum more then once?” You ask confused.
“Add a lesson about overstimulation to your teaching plan babe,” Lando tells you jokingly, but none of his words are a joke. He wants to spend the whole evening between your legs and pull every orgasm out of you that you have. Leaving not even one of them for anyone else.
“Deal,” you react.
Lando can only smile after that. How did this even happen to him? It feels like he’s living his dream, but when he thinks about the fact that you’re still ‘just friends’ they shatter apart. 
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limiting believes i got rid of AND YOU SHOULD DO TOO in order to manifest instantly
-> time 
before i thought and probably your case too AND I HOPE THAT IT’S NOT ANYMORE  that time had anything to do with the loa, manifesting and stuff. that the fakest shit i’ve ever head. literally all is based off your mind and your assumptions.who tf decided that manifesting a house should take months? when time doesn’t even exist. LIKE TELL ME WHERE TF IS THE LOGIC?  like just sit there and think about it, time was human-made and the law is just the law, so why would you make the time a law? like why tf would you even just consider time ?j just think about an answer.the law isn’t logical itself so why would you even try to make it logical by putting it together with something thats considered logical? just ask yourself. why tf would my penthouse in new york would take months to get to me? whats the answer to that now?
FORGET ABOUT TIME, about deadlines or whatever stop counting days like you were in fucking jail. the only jail you’re in is you’re mind.
 -> worth and  « bigger » or « smaller » manifestations 
nothing has value, you’re the one creating value and putting things on a pedestal. do you know what’s worth more between a 1$ and a 100$ ? if you say the 100$ you really understood nothing did you? it’s as easy to have the 100$ than the 1$ as it’s the same thing to manifest a big fat miami house or a small condo in tokyo and if you think otherwise you haven’t totally let go of those limitings believes yet. why do you think money has so much value? it really is a piece of paper with a print. would you give a piece of paper with a drawing of an old man any value? no. THEN STOP GIVING VALUE TO MONEY OR ANYTHING IN LIFE.you think you could attract a person you don’t care about but not your crush or you desired friends? when those persons are worth the same and as easy to get as the other? the second you consider that everything you want is absolutely worthless and as easy to get as the oxygen you’re breathing right now, you’ll manifest.
the second you’ll pull out this bullshit that we instill in your brain of «  value, worth, bigger things, harder to get, longer to get » you’ll instantly get it. THE SECOND YOU’LL KNOW THESE WORTHLESS THINGS ARE ALREADY YOURS, YOU MANIFESTD IT!
MAINLY STOP PUTTING YOURSELF LIMITS!!!!! you control everything what’s stopping you from getting that penthouse you want so bad?? money? money is worthless and you can get it the amount of money you want so now what do you need more? go get you keys and enjoy it cause you literally already fucking have it. YOU’RE DIVINE how can you manage not to have a  simple piece of paper that has the number «  100 » on it? how can you not get a place made with of wood and rocks and itself filled with more things that are made with wood and rocks ? how do you manage not get the love of a simple girl or boy? THE ANSWER IS YOU DON'T MANAGE NOT TO HAVE IT CAUSE YOU ALREADY DO.
PUT IN YOUR HEAD YOU ALREADY HAVE IT ALL. NOTHING ELSE EXISTS, NOT WORTH, VALUE, TIME, ALL THIS THINGS DOES NOT EXIST SO PLEASE PLEASE GET THOSE BULLSHIT LIMITING ASS HUMAN MADE CONCEPT OUT OF YOUR GENIUS BRAIN AND INSTANTLY GET ALL YOU WANT WITHOUT RESTRICTIONS WHATSOEVER
->3D delay
don’t put in your head that there will be a delay forget about that.focus on the fact that it gets instantly to you and that’s it. do not care about anything else. « oh i don’t have my results yet it'S probably 3D delay😞 » no. you already have it wtf is even a delay? the moment you decided to have it in your 4D you instantly got in your 3D period.
-> self victimising
STOP THIS. stop all the «  it’s not manifesting why?? why everyone but me 🥺» please. you’re worth more than that. persist no matter what.stop slowing down your living in the end process. if you wanna feel sad about a situation, be sad, but don’t even start self-victimising. don’t eat up your feelings it leads to nothing good but always remind yourself that you have the knowledge that ppl out there don’t have access to. people dying or being in the worst situation ever dont even have any way to get out of it cause they don’t know but YOU? YOU KNOW THE TRUTH. YOU KNOW THE LAW. YOU KNOW YOUR LIMITLESS POWER. YOU CAN HAVE YOUR DREAM LIFE SO WHY SELF VICTIMISE? YOU AREADY GOT IT ALLL GIRLLL
btw that’s my first blog i hope it was inspiring🥰 and i dont tell you may all your manifestations come true cause they’re obviously already all true 
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xzaddyzanakinx · 3 months
Text
Study Buddy pt 2
Stepdad!Anakin Skywalker x femme reader
18+ MDNI
Warnings: heavy breeding kink, cheating, stepcest/inappropriate relationships, unprotected PiV, condescending/demeaning tone, manipulation, gaslighting, age-gap, medication/medication alterations, baby trapping, ddlg, innocence/purity kink, praise, reader is over 18
Info: reader acts more innocent/naive than they are, Anakin is just a little bit evil but in a kind of tee-hee he’s so cheeky way, trophy wife? yes please, princess treatment forever
🕊 dead dove do not eat 🕊
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“What?” You asked with your head in a confused tilt.
A blank look glazed over your face as you tried to connect the scattered dots. The post-haze of your orgasm was making your brain fuzzy, Anakin’s cock still buried in your puffy pink pussy wasn’t helping keep your train of thought on its track either.
“Wait. No I’m on birth control.” You shook your head and laughed, he must’ve forgotten.
“Oh, silly girl.” He tsk’d, his hands gripping your thighs. With a low and rumbling chuckle he began tracing slow circles around your bellybutton before slipping between your legs, his thumb teasing your swollen clit.
"You're mine now, aren't you?” He asked sweetly, accompanied by a little kiss to your forehead that had your heart fluttering.
“Anything I want you’ll give me… won’t you?”
“Anything?” You parroted back at him, glancing down to his hand between your legs. “It’s only fair, you do get me anything I want.”
“That I do princess.” He grinned. “Anything for my girl.”
Anakin's eyes bore into yours, a heated gaze of possession. He leaned closer, his breath hot against your neck, his lips brushing against your earlobe.
“My princess gets everything she wants… so it’d only be right if you gave me this one thing wouldn’t it?” He asked, kissing the softness beneath your jaw.
You couldn’t argue with that logic. That was a solid deal. One little request of his compared to the lifetime of spoiling he’d given to you… that was a steal. Besides, you’d always wanted to be a mother, it might as well be now shouldn’t it? Anakin loved you, you loved Anakin, and your mom always said- wait.
“But what about-“ You started.
“Shh, no don’t worry about anything else okay?” He silenced you with a kiss.
“I’ll take care of everything. Just like I take care of you princess.”
His lips trailed down your neck, his strong hand massaging the squishy flesh of your waist and rocking you on his half-hard cock.
“You want to be with me don’t you babydoll?” He breathed out.
“Of course I do Ani.” You whispered, unable to think clearly, not that it would matter if you could.
“That's a good girl." He praised, sucking lightly before biting down ever so slightly, drawing out a moan from you. His hand moved lower, massaging and rubbing your ass cheek, squeezing and kneading gently.
“You trust me don’t you sweetheart?”
“Uh-huh.” You nodded, starting to slide up and down his cock as it grew harder inside your cum-coated walls.
“And you know I only do things to make you happy, keep you safe… only ever things that are good for you right?” He asked while pinching and rolling your clit between his thumb and forefinger, the one little movement sending a *zap* straight to your brain.
“I know Ani.” You mumbled, leaning in to kiss him.
He chuckled, smoothing your hair from your pretty face, peppering your soft skin with sweet chaste kisses.
“N’ you trusted your daddy enough to help you with your medicine every night didn’t you?” He asked, slowly moving you both so that you laid flat on your back with your lower half held up by his muscled arms.
“Yeah I did- do I mean.” You nodded, eyes fluttering shut while your bottom lip was trapped between his teeth. The change of position was a heavenly new angle. His massive palms on each ass cheek, keeping your lower half suspended so he could kneel between your legs.
“Yeah you do don’t you pretty girl?" Anakin chuckled, his voice rich and deep.
“Cause you’re alittle forgetful right?” He teased, and you nodded with a giggle.
“So my girl didn’t even notice when I stopped giving her that little pill huh?” He cooed, not giving you time to think before sucking his thumb and covering it in spit to swipe over your hardened nipples.
“N-no I didn’t.” You gasped, eyes rolling back in your head at the dizzying stimulation.
“That’s right baby. Just another reason for you to let me take care of you right sweetheart?” He said, his voice honey smooth.
“Y-yeah Ani.” You nodded. He was right. You could hardly keep up with your own things, let alone remember to do something like taking your medicines. You couldn’t even do your homework by yourself, you needed him, he took care of you.
"That's a good girl." He praised, his hand moving back to support your weight as he began to thrust harder into you, his hips slapping against yours in a rhythmic beat.
"Open your eyes and look at me." His command broke through your haze of pleasure, and you did as he asked.
"Isn’t it nice? Knowing it’s all taken care of for you?" He asked, his breath coming out in short, ragged gasps.
You felt your stomach tighten up, your hands smacking the carpeted floor and searching for something to hold onto. “Y-yeah Ani… I- I think I’m gonna- oh gods.”
“I know baby, I know.” He said, low and soothing as he rocked into you.
“You need me to make you cum don’t you?” He smiled softly. “I will doll, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you in every way. Always.”
“Treat you just like the princess you are m’kay?” He moaned, his forehead resting on yours as you whined and wrapped your legs around his waist, crossing your ankles to rest just above his ass. “Gonna fuck you full alright baby?”
“Gods… please?” You whined, nodding your head. “I want you to… please I want your cum.”
“Damn right you do.” He groaned, a triumphant grin on his lips.
“Gonna make you the prettiest little mommy.” His hips stuttered, resuming his previous quick circling of your clit with his calloused thumb. “that’s it, come on sweetheart I feel it. I know you wanna cum don’t you?”
“Yes!” You cried out, back arching, legs shaking as you squeezed his cock, your pussy fluttering.
"That's it baby girl." Anakin growled, his grip on your hips tightening as he pounded into you harder, faster. "Cum for your daddy."
His cockhead slammed against your G-spot relentlessly, the thick tip brushing against every ridge along the way.
"You're so fucking tight, so goddamn tight." Anakin groaned, his eyes glazed over with lust as he neared his own climax. “Like I’m fuckin’ a vice when you squeeze me like that baby.”
“Fuck. God you’re so fuckin’-“ He cut himself off with a low groan, his hips flush to yours “take my cum baby, damnit”
You felt his cock twitch, leaking hot semen deep inside you, rope after rope painting your walls a creamy white.
Anakin’s breath was shaky as he rocked into you slowly, like he was trying his damndest to massage every bit of his essence into your used and abused cunt.
“You’re so pretty.” He breathed out, looking down at you with a crooked grin. “you know that? All red in the face, panting, cute little fucked out cunt…” He let out a chuckle.
“You feeling okay doll?” He asked, gently swiping some drool from the corner of your mouth with his thumb and bringing it to his mouth to lick off.
“M’ feeling perfect.” You sighed, too exhausted to move.
“Good.” He laughed. “I need you to stay right here okay? Don’t move.”
He slowly slid out, dripping cum and juices onto the floor beneath you. Taking great care in propping up your hips with a few pillows. He slipped his boxers back on and patted your tummy before walking to the kitchen.
“You gotta lay just like that for at least 30 minutes okay? Gotta make sure all that hard work sticks don’t we?” He teased.
You giggled, blissful and giddy in your after-orgasm glow. Anakin came back with a water for you, helping you prop yourself up on your elbow to take a sip.
“Here, you need one of these everyday now okay?” He showed you a large bottle of gummy vitamins. “You go ahead and take one now, I know you’re picky. So let’s see if you like these ones and if not I’ll get you some different ones.” He smiled, popping one of them into your mouth.
They were a bit tangy, but overall not terrible. You gave him a thumbs up and swallowed the rest of the vitamin before letting yourself collapse back onto the floor. Thankful that you were naked and equally thankful Anakin had the forethought to turn on the overhead fan when he’d gotten up.
“Do you need anything doll?” Anakin asked sitting down near your head and picking it up gently to rest on his thigh, carding his fingers through your hair.
“Mmm… no.” You sighed, leaning into his loving touch. One hand of yours reaching above and behind your head to run your fingers along his bicep.
“Alright sweet girl. You just relax okay?” He beamed down at you, pride etched in every line on his handsome face.
He flipped on the Tv, searching through the different channels until he settled in a shared favorite of yours. A true crime drama, The First 48.
“Oh hell yeah this one’s new.” He said setting the remote to the side.
‘Oh that’s nice.’ You thought as you turned your head to watch along with him. ‘They usually only show new episodes at 5:00… 5:00?’ Your eyes flew open.
“Wait…” You thought for a second, looking over at the clock. “Moms gonna be home in like 10 minutes Anakin!”
“Huh, would you look at that.” He said calmly, a tiny smirk curling his top lip as he heard a car door slam shut. “I think she’s home early.”
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inkskinned · 1 year
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im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.
you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.
please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.
could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.
i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.
i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.
but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.
you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.
here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.
for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.
i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.
happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.
it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.
these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.
there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam
recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.
but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.
and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.
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jeonghantis · 1 year
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✧ — NO INHIBITIONS, STRANGE CONDITIONS.
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PAIRING ⇝ kim mingyu x reader.
SUMMARY ⇝
road safety could not hold you back from wanting your boyfriend despite how stupid of a idea it is. kim mingyu was just as stupid.
TAGS ⇝ established relationship, smut, pwp.
WARNINGS ⇝ language, gn!reader but with female parts & wears skirts, distracted driving (DRIVE SAFELY PLEASE), explicit sexual content (MINORS, DNI!).
WORD COUNT ⇝ 3.7k words.
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note: welp. LOL! mingyu driving drove me mad. this is 2 of 2 fics in celebration of mingyu month. a complete 180 from the first one i fink! oops! and yes i'm aware it's may now and i apologize deeply. but celebrating mingyu should be an all-time thing. the title is taken from the song leaving me feeling confident by the driver era. don't think the song would go specifically with the fic, i just liked the wording. this is completely self-indulgent so as always, not proofread hehe. not as good as i hoped it would be but i hope you enjoy regardless.
reblog for kim mingyu. thats it. (and to support me).
smut tags under the cut.
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SMUT TAGS ⇝ ROAD HEAD! (dick sucking while driving), dom/sub dynamics, switch!mingyu, switch!reader, mingyu is kinda sub until he's not, reader is dom until they're not, size kink (reader is smaller than mingyu), use of the petname "darling" "baby" & "angel", dirty talk, praise (reader gets called "pretty"), degradation (whore, slut), hairpulling, mild begging, groping, oral (m), fingering (f), gagging, throatfucking, cunt slapping (once), cum eating, mingyu is ROUGH (man does not know his own strength but is caring afterwards), reader being used as a toy, cockdumb and cock hungry reader, reader probably got major oral fixation, big dick!mingyu like Big Big (could imagine mingyu being ridiculously big or reader just has small hands).
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Wandering hands had become quite a shared habit, how natural it was for their fingers to gravitate towards each other. It was always welcomed, of course, when it acted as a need of comfort from the other. When there was not one moment where they were not craving for each other.
But this was a problem. Several problems. Two very conflicting problems.
First, not only is your hand caressing him at the moment, it’s artfully roving over to his crotch. And Mingyu truly loved your bold actions and might have appreciated it if it had been within the confines of their apartment. But it was in the confines of his car, in the middle of a highway.
Second, the problem to the first problem, was that this was his wet dream come true.
It’s a no-brainer what should be deemed more urgent. Mingyu didn’t want to careen their vehicle over the edge and risk their very lives for the sake of getting his dick wet. 
But. 
But the danger, although he knows it should, doesn’t entirely frighten him. It was a wet dream for a reason.
But Mingyu should be smart about this. He has to be smart about this.
Meanwhile, you’re thinking you may be utterly stupid about this. 
Most times, you would consider yourself a cautious person—someone who would always second-guess every decision, and hell, maybe third or even fourth-guessed. Truly, you were an overthinker. Sometimes, you wished you could just stop thinking altogether.
And that time has come now. There was absolutely no question of your decision, not even a single thought process done, when you reached to palm your boyfriend’s clothed dick. You only knew that you were being ridiculous, but it was because Mingyu looked ridiculously hot right now driving the way he does, glancing at you and smiling the way he does. What the hell were you supposed to do?
What you’re saying next is entirely pulled out of the shallowest part of your brain riddled with unbridled lust. And it challenges Mingyu’s logic and worsens his agony.
“Can I put it in my mouth?” you ask innocently, peering at him with big, curious eyes. 
“I might kill us both, babe,” Mingyu said, pearly canines bared when he wore a strenuous smile. He spares an urgent glance at how your hand sits perfectly atop his growing erection, nails dragging on denim. His grip on the steering wheel tightens.
“I trust that you won’t. You’re a good driver,” you claim, smiling sharply as you give him a tilt of your head. “Is that a no?”
There was no immediate response from him, his eyes fixed stubbornly on the road that lay ahead. Yet, you still caught the clench of his jaw under the flash of a streetlamp, the whitening of his knuckles. It was insanely unfair how Mingyu could still look so gorgeous when frustration twisted his features—or was it you who simply loved seeing his frustrations?
Mingyu weighed his options. Their apartment was still many ways away, he doesn’t know if he could tough it out for that long. He’s thankful the highway is nearly void of other cars, but is utterly bitter over how it stretches on seemingly forever, leaving him no room to pull over at all. He had to maintain focus on the winding paths. He tried not to think of the deft work of your hand on him. He tried not to think of how your mouth would soon replace it. But his pleasure-ridden body betrays him miserably—his hips lifting itself into a slow rut right against your hand.
“Endangering our lives just so you could fill your slut of a mouth,” Mingyu spelled out slowly, each word sharp. “Is that what you really want?”
“Yeah,” you chirp, entirely unaffected by his tone and he could practically hear the smirk in yours. “You could say no.”
He looks at you. “I could.”
“So, say it.”
A sliver of a smile as he turns away again. “I don’t think I will.”
“Oh?” The flutter deep in your stomach intensified, the anticipation having you on the edge seat almost quite literally as you’re leaning closer, adding a little more weight on his crotch. “Why not?”
“Because I dreamt of this,” he divulges, an airy sigh slipping from his lips. “Dreamt of your pretty lips wrapped around my cock in the middle of traffic, of your frustration when I’m unable to help you force my entire length down your throat.” 
“How filthy,” you jest, a shit-eating grin pulling your lips wider.
A pointed gaze. “You literally just offered to suck my dick in the first place.”
A shrug. “Fair.” 
Mingyu’s right hand reached for yours. The largeness of his palm fully encompasses your own as he presses down on it, applying enough delightful friction on himself for a strangled moan to get caught in his throat. 
“Just do it,” he exhales, his breathing ragged. “My dick is about to explode.”
“What a poet,” You snicker and give his dick a playful squeeze which only earns more of his choked noises. But thankfully, you’re merciful as you are excited and reckless. He hears the rustle against leather as you’re maneuvering yourself, folding your legs under you. His heart beats a little loudly against his chest, thrumming up to his ears and down to his dick, as lithe, dainty fingers make quick work on his belt and the button of his jeans. 
“Keep your eyes on the road for me, baby,” you say as your hand dives in to finally, finally, bring his awaiting cock out. “We both don’t want to be dead so soon before I give you the best orgasm of your life.”
“Then hurry up,” Mingyu seethes through gritted teeth.
He’s nearly at full length, and though you’ve held him countless times, you’re still marveling at the sheer size of him, how he sits heavily on your palm, throbbing thickly. Your fingers just barely come into a circle when you start to stroke him with an unhurried and leisurely pace, feeling the full extent of him.
“This hard just from me groping you?” you coo, tone a honeyed venom, as you run a thumb over his slit. “Trying to act all cool with me when you’re just as desperate to fill my slut of a mouth.” 
“Baby,” Mingyu said with heavy breaths that taper off into croaked groans. “Please don’t tease.”
“Don’t be so impatient,” you tut. “I promise I’ll make you feel good, but you have to be good and keep driving. Can you do that for me?” 
Mingyu swallows hard, the lump on his throat bobbing, and gives an obedient nod of his head before adjusting himself with a straightened back which might’ve been the umpteenth time he’s done so since you’ve offered your sinful proposal. 
“Good,” you hum, preening at his easy compliance, and dip your head down.
Mingyu bites down on his bottom lip hard when you take one small, tentative lick at his weeping slit. A ditzy giggle bubbles up your throat when he throbs almost immediately in response and your hand squeezes at the base of his cock in return. You continue with a few more teasing flicks, lapping up the bitter taste of him on your tongue, and only when you feel Mingyu’s thighs flex and strain to jerk up into your mouth do you ultimately indulge him.
“Oh fuck,” the poor man cusses out when you down him as much as you could, your mouth a luscious wet warmth as it envelopes around him. “Holy fuck, baby, that’s so good.” 
You hum appreciatively around his unbelievable girth, sending vibrations coursing down the just as unbelievable length that only has Mingyu whimpering praises more. A hand makes up for the rest of him that your mouth couldn’t quite reach just yet; it works in perfect tandem with your slackened jaw as your head begins to bob up and down on him.
Mingyu does not dare steal a glance in total fear of losing all sense of himself at what is most definitely the most lecherous view of his fantasies coming to life. His head stays firmly pinned against the leather-clad headrest, twitching eyes hell-bent on the road. But he could still hear the obscenity of it, all the wet glugs and sucks as your cheeks hollow out for him, and it does all but aid his concentration, gradually winding a burning hot coil deeply set in the pit of his stomach. The wandering habit presented itself as his right hand began to move (thanking the high heavens for making him left-handed), and glided over your back and all the way down under the impossibly short skirt you wore.
“That’s it, angel,” Mingyu drawls out in encouragement, his hand grabbing at the supple flesh of your ass. “You’re taking me so well.”
Hearing his praise and feeling his straying hand only spurs you to dip your head lower, attempting to swallow down more of him. There’s a sense of satisfaction when he bumps the back of your throat and you find that you have been able to take more than half of him in your mouth. But it’s fleeting when the latter half of Mingyu’s dream comes to light sooner than anticipated—that frustration, a consuming greed, of wanting to take him whole. And like he alluded to, you knew it wasn’t possible if he wasn’t fucking your mouth open, which is entirely out of the question. You’re still trying for some form of compensation—a hand wringing at the base, tongue lapping hungrily at the sides of his cock with lewd slurps—and it all comes out good when jerking out moans from Mingyu, but it’s short in appeasing you. It’s desperation now that’s having you creep further along his length, and it’s so so messy with the obscene amount of saliva cascading down his shaft, coating him with a wet sheen. You resist the urge to gag every time he hits the back of your throat and try to veer your focus on breathing through flared nostrils, eyes fluttering shut in concentration. 
It’s laughable how easily that focus is broken when prying fingers begin to pull your flimsy underwear. 
“I couldn’t help myself,” Mingyu averred, flashing a sly smile your way, before he’s gliding a calloused digit over your folds, gathering at the wetness trickling out.
Your mewls are broken and garbled, a new surge of spit gushing down, dripping on his lap. Instinctively, your hips swivel back hungrily in search of more blissful friction, as you peer up at him through wet lashes, a stray tear flowing down your cheek. 
Mingyu catches it when he casts a quick glance again. He notes the utter desperation contorting your expression, the glistening cheeks a sign of your eminent passion, and something deep inside him both inflames and melts at the same time. His eyes are assessing the road when it flickers back up, and there—the greatest silver lining known to man (just Mingyu) kissing the dusky sky—is the end of the highway. He doesn’t speed for it, no, instead he forgoes it, just the slightest bit as his foot eases off the pedal. He forgoes it for the sake of securing the vehicle, for the sake of slipping his a finger inside your wet channel as a reward for the glorious way you worship his cock. 
The surprised, choked-out groan you exude goes straight to his dick, quite literally. And he’s echoing it, staggered but loud enough to drown out the music flowing from the speakers. 
“I’ll pull over soon,” Mingyu imparts, gently hooking the digit and stroking your walls. “Just a little longer, baby, then I’ll fuck your throat. You’d like that too, won’t you?”
You pull off him with a satisfying pop, a string of spit threading between his cock and your glistening lips that’s quickly broken when both hands replace where your mouth’s been, stroking hard and fast. You glance up at him with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth, holding back your moans as your hips sway back into his finger. 
“Be quick,” you whisper, eyelids flickering, and you lean back down to trace the veins along his cock with your tongue. “I want all of you in my mouth. I want you to bury your fingers in me. I want you to abuse me until I'm a mess of spit and tears.”
Fuck. 
Mingyu slams on the acceleration. He’s still commandeering the vehicle securely with one hand, but the finger inside you goes still, letting you use it as you please with shallow rocks of your hips and clenches of your walls. He takes a right when the road opens up and pulls up in a relatively empty parking lot very swiftly with the practiced ease of the seasoned driver he was.
Up until then, you were suckling on his tip, coaxing thick, pearly rivulets out of him onto your tastebuds. If it had been possible to be drunk off of precum, you certainly appeared to be buzzed out of your mind with how much you were giggling and lapping at him for more. You were impossibly gone in the pleasure of giving your boyfriend pleasure that you weren't given enough time to prepare yourself for the absolute reckless and barbaric nature that would be forced upon you.
Safely parked, Mingyu ignored the garbled whines when he pulled his finger away from your clenching walls as he goes to quickly undo his seatbelt. Mingyu reached for two firm fistfuls of your hair, used it as a rein to properly align your mouth for him to shove his way inside promptly without so much of a warning. Gone was his usual gentle nature, he’s completely ruthless. The power of his thrusts is terrifyingly inhumane, his sac slapping up against your chin with ease now that he waives your own comfort. He’s focused on gaining his pleasure and his alone.
“Better?” Mingyu laughs darkly. “Were you struggling all this time? Is your mouth filled up enough now? C’mon, pretty baby. Let me hear those gags.”
You do let him hear it, all the gurgles and violent retches made around him. You fucking know this’ll leave you voiceless the next day—hell, maybe for the next few days if you continue moaning against the repeated force—and yet you’re still indulging him, conceding your entire being to him almost too easily, almost too enthusiastically. 
Like the sick person you were, the brutality has you practically soaking wet through the fabric of your underwear. If you weren’t in such a rough position, you might’ve reached back to relieve yourself of the incessant throbbing of your core. And Mingyu held the mantle now, your authority beaten right out of you, so you weren’t so sure if he would appreciate you doing anything else other than being his cocksleeve.
So instead, with tears a steady stream down your face and lips red and swollen, you let him abuse you, narrowing your focus on the sliding weight of his dick on your tongue, your head laxed for him to fully control with no restraints or complaints. A perfect little toy.
Your pleasurable suffering wouldn’t last for long. Mingyu was close to breaking himself. You feel his thighs tense from where you gripped him for balance, his panted moans rising in volume against your ears. 
“You’re going to swallow everything I give you, you got that?” Mingyu drawled. “Every single bit. You wanted your mouth filled, yeah? You take it all, darling.”  
Your responding, muddled moans are a warm wet ring around him. If you could see him, you’d find how pleasure cruelly contorts his features. It takes a couple more messy, stuttered strokes then the burning coil inside him that wound so tightly snapped so violently. A surge of warmth overwhelms Mingyu, his muscles tensing and seizing, and a long, broken noise is ripped right out of his chest, as he comes in thick ropes of white right into your mouth.
The salty, warm cum of him glides down your throat like melted cream. You do try to guzzle it all down as told, but he always comes in such heavy loads. Coughs threaten to tear your throat but you’re suppressing them with the greatest effort until hot tears streak down your cheeks, your chest heaving wildly. 
“So good,” Mingyu exhales, his grip on you loosened as he takes to petting your hair with such affection as he rides out the remainders of his high. “You’re so good for me, angel.”
Satisfied after gulping down the last spurt of him, you finally let up with a small whimper, your frame quivering as you sat yourself back on your folded legs, your eyes eager when it found him. Mingyu still looked unbelievably good sweaty and flushed. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what you might have looked like with your hair strewn about and swollen lips.
Mingyu didn’t seem to care. He was smiling at you with great fondness as if he had not just abused your mouth like a mere plaything. He reached to wipe some excess cum on your chin with a thumb before immediately shoving past your swollen lips. Still quite pliant, you lick it up earnestly, giving another wanton moan around him.
“Fuck,” Mingyu starts, huffing out a breathy laugh. “You’re my wet dream come true.”
“You’re welcome,” you try to lilt, but it comes out raspy and painful. 
Mingyu notices the wince in your expression and frowns, a hand immediately moving to cradle the side of your throat tenderly. “Does it hurt?”
“Well, you were not exactly gentle, Gyu,” you pointed out humorously, but caught sight of the slight concern lining his face and you quickly followed up with, “But I loved it a lot. It was hot. You were hot.”
Mingyu still looked concerned but at least the corners of his lips twitched at your addition. “I could tell you loved it. You took me really well, angel.”
“And I’d do it again and again,” you said, grinning. “Even though I’m pretty sure my windpipe is bruised.”
His hand lifts to hold the side of your face, a thumb smoothing over your cheek, as he looks over you for a moment. There’s a strange little glint in his eyes, and in your recovering state, you couldn’t quite place what it was, but it has your stomach churning again.
“I should make it up to you, shouldn’t I?” Mingyu murmurs, head cocked to the side as he smiles.
“Could you?” you ask in turn, voice soft. “Please?”
“I’ll take care of you,” he croons, raising his hand up to brush your hair back, his fingers threading through your hair. “Don’t worry your pretty little head.”
Mingyu reaches over you, promptly maneuvering your seat backwards. He eases you until you’re laying flat on your back, and his hands move to grip at your thighs, lifting them and spreading them wide. The breeze that hits your cunt has you trembling and you feel absolutely exposed when Mingyu only watches your tiny frame unfold before him, eyes drinking in the sight with an insatiable hunger. He brushes a knuckle over your soaked folds, tentative, before pressing it roughly against your throbbing clit. You’re whining, arching your back off the seat as a rush of searing pleasure courses up your veins.
You’re whining even louder when Mingyu draws back. You try to reach for his arm but it’s useless when it’s thickly corded with so much power.
“Looks like I didn’t ruin your throat enough if you’re this fucking whiny,” Mingyu remarked sharply with a laugh. He does reach a hand back but your excitement quickly fizzles out just as it spikes when a slap lands quick and sharp on your cunt and you’re jerking in your seat. “Sit still and wait quietly.”
You press your quivering lips into a thin line and nod your head obediently.
With a pleased smile, he pulls back once again. He fixes himself, shoving his dick back into his underwear, followed by sweeping his long hair back and away from his face. He takes his sweet time and doesn’t spare you a single glance as if you weren’t there at all, all the while you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him, the anticipation simmering sickly in your stomach. Then, he’s suddenly reaching for the gear shift, setting the car in reverse, and pulling out of the parking lot.
“W-Where are we going?” you asked urgently.
“Home,” Mingyu replied casually, turning the wheel adeptly with one hand. “Where else?”
You looked down at yourself, at the compromising position he forced you in and forced you to hold. “But - ?”
As if to answer your question, his right hand roves over to you and between your legs. He starts with a press on your clit, then caresses the roughened pad of his finger down to where you leak, before bringing it right back up to start again, and again, and again.
“I promise I’ll make you feel good, baby” Mingyu echoes your words, a vicious smile pulling his lips. “But you have to be good and hold yourself up like that. Can you do that for me?”
“Are you getting back at me?” You meant for your words to come out as an aggravated hiss, but it came out pathetically as a soft whimper.
“Yes,” he responded, not wasting a beat, and peers at you, a dark glimmer in his eyes. “And because this is another wet dream of mine.”
“How lucky,” you start, taking in a shaky breath when Mingyu rubs short, tight circles on your sensitive nub. “How lucky you get to fulfill two of your dreams today.”
“It’s all because of you,” Mingyu grins and, without warning, slides two thick fingers inside you. “Now, answer the question.”
“Yes,” you gasp out immediately, the sudden breach stinging so sharply, but your walls gave a sickly delighted spasm around him anyway. Your arms come up and hook themselves around your knees, bringing it up to your heaving chest. “Yes, I can.”
“Good,” he hums, curling the digits and pressing it roughly against the sweet nerves inside you. “Tough it out because this time, I will not be pulling over.”
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© circlesol. all rights reserved. do not re-publish, translate, plagiarise, edit any of my work on any other platform.
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fineghkst · 10 months
Text
Cards
summary: azriel shows you exactly what you will miss if you break up with him.
warnings: minors don’t interact (only 18+); smut; break up sex; oral receiving; shadow play
english if not my first language so let me know if you find any mistakes
It has been hours since you decided to break up with Azriel. When you finally said the words to the spymaster and he looked at you with an indescribable expression.
Things between you weren't going so well lately. He was absent, always busy with the missions Rhysand sent him. Azriel suddenly didn’t have more time for you. He wasn’t there at your birthday, wasn’t with you when you finally beat Cassian at during a competition of a card game you were addicted to and, of course, he forgot about your anniversary.
You tried to understand that he was working too much, tried to talk to Azriel and solve everything, but it wasn’t enough. Even if you didn’t want to let him go, you couldn’t date someone who practically wasn’t a part of your life anymore.
So you ended it and felt your heart explode in a million pieces while you stared at his expression turn into something desperate. He’s eyes becoming more tired than you thought it was possible, like his pain were leaking from them.
Countless thoughts crossed your mind before finally talking to him. What would be his reaction? How would you act around each other after the break up? Would he fight for you?
None of them came close to guessing this would happen.
After the discussion you started, with him questioning what he could possibly do to change your mind, he found himself defeated. You had made your decision.
Of course, the attraction you felt for Azriel always seemed to overcome barriers of logic. At some point a thought passed through your mind that maybe you could be mates, but the bond never snapped.
To be honest, if someone asked how Azriel ended between your legs, you wouldn’t know how to explain.
Even with a concrete decision made, of course Azriel would play dirty, showing exactly what you’d miss if you weren’t together.
— Are you enjoying this, love? — Azriel said, finally stopping his tongue from moving on your core. He had his arms around your legs, holding you open for him — I hope you are, because this is the last time you will ever feel me.
A senseless moan left your mouth, disapproving that he stopped to eat your pussy and was talking such things.
Azriel laughed, leaving a small hickey on your tights.
— Hm… since you made your mind and there’s nothing to convince you to come back to me, I bet you thought about this part, right? Never touching me again…
His shadows started to surround your skin, lightly stroking your legs like a ghost touch.
— Never feeling my shadows playing with you… — You whimpered with the thought. No one would ever know how to touch you like he does. — What’s wrong, love? Didn’t you prepare yourself for that?
Azriel moved away from your legs and the shadows grabbed them, replacing Azriel’s hands. He stared at you with something… primal in his eyes. His huge wings half opened and his defined muscles showing. Cauldron, Azriel was so beautiful that you felt like your brain was severely damaged to even think about breaking up with him.
— If you don’t want me anymore, why you’re so wet? Why did you agree so fast to have a last fuck with me? — The spymaster said, still staring you while his shadows begun to stimulate your clit. You could see the possessiveness in his look.
— Azriel… please — A moan escaped your mouth.
— Please what, love?
— Just… just fuck me.
— Why should I do that? — He chuckled.
— I need you, Az. Please. I don’t want to leave you.
— So you’re changing your mind this quick? But you looked so committed to your decision earlier… that’s a shame.
His shadows accelerated the movements, taking you to heaven and back. You were so close to having an orgasm that it was impossible to form a congruent thought.
— S-stop punishing me. — You whined
— Again, I don’t see any reason to — Azriel had a smirk on his face. He was playing with you until you become completely desperate for him, with your brain almost completely empty and the only thing left was his name.
Azriel was succeeding in his goal and he knew it.
— Unless you give me one good reason, love — The smirk turned into a grin. Azriel keep observing his shadows stimulating you, which were moving faster now — Because, honestly, you don’t deserve to have me inside you.
You tried to reply, but it was too much. His shadows were taking you beyond your limits, slithering against your clit. Only incoherent moans left your mouth. It didn’t take long for finally reaching an orgasm.
Azriel never had let you cum with his shadows, he always stopped them and ended the job himself. However, today, the spymaster were playing all his cards, showing exactly how much pleasure he could give you.
Even if Azriel still wearing his pants, you could see the huge painful bonner he had. But he kept his distance, watching you squirm with his fierce eyes. Anyone could say how much he was craving for you, how he wanted to fuck you senseless.
— So… do you have a good argument for me, love?
— I-I…
— I’m listening.
— I just want to feel like you truly desire me, Az — You confessed, trying to normalize your breathing. The shadows loosen the grip around your thighs.
Azriel stared at you, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.
— What to you mean, love? You really think I don’t want you?
— You barely have time for me, for us. I understand you’re working a lot since the end of the war with Hybern, but I need you to see me, Az. — You pulled the sheets, covering your body.
— I’m sorry, love. — He said, finally breaking the distance between you two and supporting his arms between your body, firming his hands on the sheets. Azriel’s face was so close from yours, allowing you to feel his breath against it — I didn’t realize I was making you feel like this. But I need to be clear: I will always want you and see you. I desire, crave for you so hard that sometimes I can swear I’m going insane. Let me prove it that I’m mean it, princess.
Giving him a small hesitant nod, feeling your insecurities dissipate slowly, Azriel kissed you deeply as his hands took the sheets away from your body, letting you complete exposed to him. His hard cock was pressing against your bare pussy, making you grind. It was impossible not to moan considering how sensitive you were after the orgasm.
— No, princess. Don’t be greedy. — Azriel said, moving away to finally unbutton his pants.
His hard cock jumped out and he didn’t think twice before claiming your mouth again, feeling you whimpering against his tongue while his fingers touched your nipples. With the other hand, Azriel held his cock and pushed inside you.
— Fuck, you always take me so well, princess. — He groaned, increasing his pace — You have no idea how much I missed to feel you around my cock.
He put his shadows back in action, making them play with your nipples. Azriel pinned your wrists beyond your head with one hand, while the other got down to your clit.
— Az — You moaned loud.
— You love when my shadows tease you like that, don’t you? — Your walls started to clutch around his cock. Azriel growled, thrusting deeply — Maybe I let they play with you more from now.
You squirmed with the idea of feeling them guiding you through pleasure.
— Remember, love. I’m the only one who can make you feel like this. — He whispered, approaching his mouth to your ear — And you’re only mine.
Azriel kept moving inside you until you finally felt a wave of pleasure dominate your body. The spymaster didn’t take long to cum inside you, filling your inside.
He stood in and looked to your eyes, both of you breathless.
— I love you. And I’m truly sorry I made you doubt about my feelings — Azriel said, stroking your hair gently as his shadows retreated, caressing your skin before disappearing. The spymaster moved away, giving a small kiss at your forehead.
— I love you too, Az. — You said — I’m sorry I broke up with you. And just to make clear, I don’t want to.
— I deserved it and I’m relieved to know you changed your mind. — Azriel got up and disappeared through the door for a few minutes, coming back with a towel to clean you up. — I won’t let work getting between us anymore, I’m talking to Rhysand tomorrow. He must find a way to solve everything without me.
Azriel lifted the sheets, covering both of you and pushed you to his chest, stroking your hair until you fell asleep.
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alwaysonf1 · 1 month
Text
leak?
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Pairing: Charles LeClerc x Hamilton!OC
Genre: Slice of Life; Fluff
Word Count: 740
Warning: N/A
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Dates and times don't matter.
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“Calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down. Do you see what’s trending right now?”
There’s a sigh over the phone and Iman feels bad, but not enough that her anxiety is subsiding or that she can apologize in the moment.
“Mon ange, it’s not even a good picture of us. Plus, would it be so bad?”
Yes, is on the tip of her tongue, but it wasn’t the truth. Iman had just hoped there would be more time before the world knew. She’s adept at handling the media frenzy because of how it was when the world found out she existed. But this was something so fresh and new. She didn’t want to have to share it with anyone.
“No, I just…” 
There are no words that come to mind. Logic is returning to her brain and she knows she’s being dramatic. Next to K-Pop stans, Formula 1 fans are creepy good at detective work. And one is always going to be around no matter where they are.
Also, she wasn’t completely bothered. There was a part of her that took joy in speculating that they were together. That he was her’s. It just isn’t strong enough to make the biggest impact in her head.
Iman sighs.
“Let them speculate. We don’t have to confirm anything.”
Another sigh.
She knows that he’s right, but she’d deluded herself into thinking that things could be chill. For at least a month. Or a week. But she’d found herself attached to Charles’ hip no matter how in public they were. There was some hope that if anything were to leak it would be her getting her ass handed to her in volleyball by Logan. It was ego bruising because she’s the one who played it through high school, but it was better than this.
“I know.”
“Then why all of this? You knew it would come eventually.”
“Not this quickly,” she mumbles.
There is a sound on the other end that sounds like a scoff. Iman has picked up when Charles is calling her out on her bullshit.
“I mean I could post that video of you falling on your face on the beach. That would get everyone’s attention,” Logan chimes in.
Iman’s eyes narrow as she turns to look at him leaning against her door frame snacking on popcorn. Lewis stands behind him with the bowl of popcorn that he’s been eating from.
Both idiots think her reaction is funny and have been watching her as she fights not to go into a spiral. Lewis has made comments about how she wasn’t even this bad when things got intense with the media after their episode. 
The urge to cuss them out presents itself, but Iman simply raises her hand with only one finger extended. Both of them react in faux shock and offense before falling into a giggling fit.
What she’d done to have this life she wasn’t sure, but goodness did it sometimes test her. 
“Mon ange…”
“Huh?”
Charles laughs. “I asked what you wanted to do. I want what makes you happy.”
For a second, she sits with her lips pursed as she thinks about it. They could get it out of the way, but it is much too soon to be making those kinds of announcements. Even if they’re both sure about this, it feels much too fast. Though Iman has to be honest in admitting that sometimes things move at a different pace when you’ve had years of friendship. And there are a few recent thoughts she’s had that are much faster than admitting to dating Charles Leclerc.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“For now, at least. If they catch something else and it goes crazy, we’ll just admit it. Or after like a month.”
“Okay, but mon ange, I’m not going to change my mind about you.”
Breathing becomes hard and Iman is barely able to tell him bye as they hang up the phone. Her phone drops from her hand and she falls back to fully lay on her bed. Butterflies are how she’d describe what she feels.
Laughter starts. At a speed that could give whiplash she turns her head and glares at the two pains in her ass.
“Get out!”
A pillow sails through the air and hits Lewis square in the face. Logan is gone before the other one can leave her hand and Lewis isn’t far behind him.
“Lord help me,” she says, sighing.
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logansargeant 2x national champ my ass.
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verdantcrimson · 20 days
Text
Kanna Natsu Idol Story - 2
Written by: Akira
Season: Spring
TL: verdantcrimson
Proofread: @revuestarlight
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[Two years since ES was established. In the ES building infirmary.]
Kanna: ……
Hinata: Goood morning!
Yuta: Today, we’re thinking of playing a hidden camera prank on the talk of the town, child prodigy, Kanna Natsu, when he wakes up!
Hinata: Because both of us in 2wink love pranks!
Yuta: —and since we've been in the business for the while, the agency was like, “C'mon, show your junior how things work around here. You guys love that sort of stuff, right?” 
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Hinata: There's a difference between playing a prank and bullying, though!
Yuta: But we can't disobey the agency. That's just life, y'know? We've gotta work hard and pull this off in order to maintain our character image.
Hinata: Why do you seem weirdly pumped about this, Yuta-kun?
Yuta: This guy is Kanna Natsu, y'know…… Everyone's making a fuss about what a genius he is, but he's still just a brat, and seeing him get more attention than us pisses me off.
Yuta: We've gotta punish this ill-mannered newbie, don't we?
Hinata: Whoops, it's getting hard to keep my brother's wickedness in check these days, yknow~?
Hinata: Ah, but he's acting like this on purpose because that's the kind of image he's decided on! Yuta-kun is actually a good kid!
Hinata: All of you watching at home, please don't misunderstand!
Yuta: Hell yeah, that's the perfect excuse. Now, no matter how cruel and inhumane I behave, I can just say it's because my agency or my producer told me to play that sort of character.
Yuta: I can use that to justify my bullying. Hehehe. 
Hinata: How wicked… Looking at you these days makes your big brother worry, Yuta-kun.
Hinata: …..Hm?
Kanna: ……
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Kanna: ……?
Hinata: I knew this would happen. Look, look, Yuta-kun! Natsu-kun is awake already! 
Yuta: Huh, No way. He looked like he was fast asleep— Maybe we made too much of a racket?
Hinata: What should we do? Should we abort mission? I didn't really want to do an unfunny and old-school prank like that anyways, so I'm fine with it.
Yuta: It sounds like you were making a fuss on purpose so that the plan would fail.
Kanna: Good morning.
Hinata: Ah, yup. Morning. You sure slept well.
Kanna: Yes, thank you. Though sleeping isn't something I do for leisure.
Kanna: I don't get the opportunity to sleep when I'm occupied with research, so I try to sleep as much as I can whenever I find time.
Kanna: Also, if I pretend to be asleep, everyone will leave me alone.
Hinata: Oh, so you were just pretending to be asleep? Then, did you realize we were trying to prank you?
Kanna: Yes. Though, even when I'm asleep, one half of my brain stays awake.
Yuta: Are you a dolphin?
Hinata: That's so genius-core.
Kanna: I think anyone could do it with enough training. 
Yuta: Tsk tsk tsk. It's exactly because all that training is so tedious that nobody would ever be able to make a name for themselves as a genius.
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Kanna: I see. I understand now.
Kanna: I think that if anyone focused all their efforts on a single thing for approximately a year, they could become an expert in that field. 
Kanna: Only a child like myself would be able to concentrate on a single thing for as long as they want to, correct?
Kanna: Any adult, I mean, essentially everyone, requires time to eat, play, socialize, and maintain their physical and mental health.
Kanna: It is quite difficult to concentrate on a single thing.
Kanna: That is why they fall short of success. Yes, people who are able to do that to some extent from the very beginning— Only they are successful and lauded as geniuses.
Kanna: If everyone is limited to only being able to spend a fraction of their time on their efforts, then only those who are privileged are able to succeed and win.
Kanna: That is the reason, correct? It's logical. I can understand this.
Hinata: I've been wondering, what on earth is this kid going on about…?
Yuta: You like making theories about other people based on their behavior and then feeling like you've understood them, don't you?
Kanna: Yes. Because I'm around that age. That's adolescence, I suppose.
Hinata: Yeah, well I don't believe that! If you treated any older kid like a ‘teenage brat’ they'd get angry and rebel. They'd never admit that they're going through puberty!
Kanna: Maybe that was just the case for you, Yuta Aoi.
Hinata: … Oh? Huh? Ermm?
Kanna: It's easier to live when you believe that your ‘normal’ and the world's ‘normal’ aren't congruent.
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Kanna: I've long since given up on that sort of premise.
Kanna: I'm different from everyone else. I'm certain, nothing can be done about this.
Hinata: Ummm… I'm terribly sorry if we're boring you or something, but I think there's been a misunderstanding, so let me clear it up.
Hinata: I'm Hinata.
Yuta: And I'm Yuta.
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Kanna: No.
Kanna: I know about you two. The twin idols from Cosmic Productions, 2wink.
Kanna: The two of you have changed your marketing strategy as of late, with the older brother Hinata continuing to present as a cheerful a good kid—
Kanna: —While the younger brother, Yuta, differentiates himself from his older brother by growing out his hair and selling a ‘bad kid’ image.
Kanna: That is what the established theory is.
Hinata: The established ‘theory’?
Yuta: Those are just facts.
Kanna: What are illusions?
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Hinata: Huh, why'd you bring that up suddenly? What are you talking about?
Kanna: An illusion, or ‘sleight of hand’, is something that takes advantage of people's imagination.
Kanna: You make the world think that ‘the twins have differentiated their appearances and begun walking separate paths.’
Kanna: That way, you can do as much deception as you please.
Kanna: The twins that are supposedly never interchangeable, swap places in secret. Older brother becomes younger brother. Younger brother becomes older brother.
Kanna: Characteristic differences in hair length can also be accounted for using wigs and such.
Kanna: People tend to assume based on their prior knowledge, that ‘the one with longer hair must be the younger brother,’ since both brothers have similar facial features and so on.
Hinata: … Even if all of that were true, what good would it do for us to impersonate each other?
Kanna: Simply put, you two probably just enjoy those sorts of tricks.
Kanna: Furthermore, there are countless merits to being able to switch places. That is probably why having twins swap places is considered taboo, even in the most hard-core of detective novels.
Kanna: It's simply too convenient. It'd be used to forge alibis to no end, because now, anything goes.
Kanna: Additionally, if you succeed at your trivial ‘swapping places’ prank, you'd be able to make a fool of the child prodigy brat that everyone is making a fuss about, correct?¹
Kanna: You'd be able to say “That kid acts like he's a genius, but he's an oblivious idiot who couldn't even notice we switched places.”
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Hinata & Yuta: ……
Kanna: 2wink is a unit comprised of a ‘good kid’ older brother and a ‘bad kid’ younger brother.
Kanna: Recently, it seems as though the two of them have truly diverged and are trying to pursue their own paths.
Kanna: That is why. Even if the younger brother was specifically requisitioned for work that would earn him points or experience as a ‘good kid’— The older brother would swap in and take his place. The reverse applies as well.
Kanna: So the two of you steadily gain experience and continue growing, correct?
Kanna: You're each trying to specialize in being a ‘good kid’ and ‘bad kid’.
Kanna: Waiting for an opportunity, with nobody any wiser.
Yuta: ……
Kanna: I don't have much interest in anything. However, I find your impressive tactics very interesting. 
Kanna: I'm not trying to get in your way. However, by exposing your actions like this, I can render your footage unfit for broadcast.
Kanna: Even if what I said just now might be untrue.
Kanna: If the world's people begin to doubt you, you'll have a hard time operating. They might begin to think things like “Maybe they've swapped places?” or “Are they playing tricks?”
Kanna: All the earnest and serious people of the world will begin to view you poorly.
Kanna: That probably would not be desirable for you.
Kanna: I apologize. Being filmed and broadcasted in my sleep is quite embarrassing.
Kanna: That is why I have taken these preventative measures to keep it from occurring. Please understand that I bear no ill-will towards the two of you.
Kanna: That is all. I'm going to go back to bed now. Goodnight.
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Kanna: Zzz, zzz.
Yuta: ……
Hinata: … He ended up being the real deal.
Yuta: Yeah. I figured it was just the usual hype you see on TV and magazines.
Hinata: (But really, I never thought he'd notice we ‘switched’.)
Yuta: (Yup. I thought nobody could tell. But this kid saw through us, probably just through a glimpse of our activities on the news or on the internet.)
Hinata: (To top it all off, just in case— He made sure we wouldn't get in trouble even if we did air it, by following it up with “what I said might be untrue.”)
Yuta: (He didn't want to inconvenience us, so he acted considerately.)
Hinata: (This brat sure acts full of himself. I ought to scribble on his face while he sleeps.)
Yuta: (Give it a rest already... Let sleeping gods lie, Yuta-kun.)²
Hinata: (You're such a good kid, Hinata-kun.)
Yuta: (And you’re a bad kid, right, Yuta-kun?)
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Kanna: Zzz, zzz…♪
Hinata: (This kid might be incredible— more than anyone could imagine.)
Yuta: (But his sleeping face is adorable, just like any other normal kid's would be, y’know)
Translation notes
He's repeating back the same phrases that Hinata and Yuta used to describe him while he was 'sleeping'..
The original saying is '触らぬ神に祟りなし' which is means the same thing as 'let sleeping dogs lie', but I retained the 神 portion because I figured it might be a fun play on Kanna's first name '神無'
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nmakii · 2 months
Note
Hi!! I saw that you’re taking Hazbin requests and was wondering if I could request one!😊 I’d love to request an Angel Dust x gn!reader oneshot where Angel doesn’t have anyone to watch Fat Nuggets for him while he’s at work, but reader feels bad and offers to help him out? This is set before they’re dating, like reader really likes Angel (pretty much crushing on him) but doesn’t feel like Angel notices them much, so in an effort to put themselves out there, they volunteer to help, especially since they know how much Fat Nuggets means to Angel. Angel is a bit hesitant at first, not knowing how qualified they really are to take care of his baby, but he sees how sincere they are in taking on this responsibility, so to put them to the test, he agrees. Of course, Nuggs is a little mischievous at first, but instantly warms up to reader☺️
Later on, Angel comes back and sees how well reader and Nuggs are getting along and he’s just all soft and mushy at how adorable they are😍 Angel’s known about reader’s crush on him for a while and would always playfully tease them about it, thinking that it was just because they were a fan, but seeing this, he can’t help but notice how caring and sweet reader really is😍 and if Nuggs likes them enough, then that says a lot. In the end, Angel thanks them and in true Angel Dust fashion, suggests that they should get to have their own “play date” next time😏😉 in which reader is all flustered and is thinking “fuck… I didn’t expect to get this far”😳 but Angel laughs, eating up their reaction, saying that he’s just teasing and would genuinely like to get to know reader more. And then they share a really cute, fluffy moment (with Angel giving a little cheek kiss😘) in the end💕💕💕
I’m so sorry this is insanely long!! My brain got carried away and went off but if you’re willing to write this request, I would absolutely appreciate it! If not, no worries!! Thank you love!!🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
YOUR IVY GROWS, NOW I’M COVERED IN YOU
— falling in love can make you do silly things. especially when it’s angel dust you’re falling for.
— i get it Y/N. i did the exact same thing (i j bought him cup noodles and i gotta chill out) happy birthday to me and angel hehe!
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“fuck me..” angel groaned out. “isn’t that what’s about to happen..?” husk raised his eyebrow at angel. “hah!” angel rolled his eyes at husk’s joke. “val wants me to head to the studio… something about dick fight island or whatever…” he scrunched his face at the corny plots valentino wrote. “hey, whiskers! can ‘ya take care ‘a fat nuggets till i’m back?” angel asked, keeping fat nuggets close to his body.
“ah… angel, ‘ya mind if i take care of him?” you asked, heart racing as you did. “i…i mean husk is kinda busy with manning the bar… ‘n i don’t have much to do, so i could take care of him!” you explained, hands fidgeting as you nervously looked angel in the eye.
“eh…” angel thought for a second. your explanation was logical, but you and him were not as close as say, angel and husk. “shit, fine. why the hell not? i trust ‘ya.” he shrugged.
he looked down at fat nuggets, wondering what might happen when he’s gone, before hesitantly handing him over. fat nuggets squeals a bit under your care, feistily wiggling around in your arms.
angel laughed as he watched you struggle to keep fat nuggets still. “haha! hope you can deal with him. anyways, i gotta head out now.” he frowned before pinching you on the nose and leaving.
in all honesty, fat nuggets was not much of a problem. he was affectionate and not at all messy. all you had you do was feed and tend to his grooming.
when angel returned, he found you and fat nuggets fast asleep on the couch of the leisure room. your arms cradle him as fat nuggets’ hooves rest on your shoulders, all while having a blanket over you.
the two of you looked so sweet, as if a parent with their child. angel almost didn’t want to wake you up. almost.
you forget that this is angel dust.
angel reached a claw under your jaw and started tickling you until you woke up. “mornin’, sleeping beauty!” angel grinned as fat nuggets climbed his way into angel’s arms.
“aww… did’ya miss me, nuggs?” angel smiled, petting fat nuggets. he looked up to see you blushing from you and angel’s close proximity to each other. angel only grins. “what’s up? never got close enough before?”
“no! it’s nothing.” you said, moving your eyes to anywhere but angel’s. he shrugs it off. “thanks a lot again, i appreciate it.” he smiled, his eyes showing a moment of genuine gratitude. “ya’know… next time, i could leave nuggs with good ‘ol whiskers, then you and i could have… a playdate of our own?” he smirked, pushing his forehead against yours while placing his lower set of hands on your waist.
you froze under angel’s touch, brain trying to think of a response. angel simply laughs, eating up your reaction to his advances. “i’m just teasin’! it’ll be a long time before i let ‘ya touch me anywhere. chill, will ‘ya?” he grinned.
“but, if you’re interested…” he starts. “i wouldn’t mind a dinner tomorrow.” he grinned, winking as if to tempt you even further.
you thought to yourself before speaking “ah, sure..! what you say dinner at 7? i’ll meet you down here.” you said. “‘ya betcha. i’ll see you tomorrow then, babycakes.” angel smiled, peppering your face with kisses before he returned to his room, fat nuggets in hand.
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qiwoomi · 1 year
Text
ii. unexpected gesture
warnings: trauma, death, mentions of blood
series masterlist main masterlist prev next
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You don't even want to recall how you end up having a dinner in a fancy restaurant with your husband in the first place.
Or rather, it is actually the first time that you both eat dinner together.
Only the clinking sound of your cutlery could be heard, making the silence between you both all the more obvious. Gods above, it's as if the universe itself turned its back towards you.
The silence drags on, until both of you finally finished your meals. Alhaitham looks up from his plate, grabbing a tissue as he wipes his mouth. You do the same, anticipating if you should say anything.
"I... want you to postpone the divorce." The man before you uttered, finally filling the uncomfortable silence. His gaze focused on you, searching for your eyes. You internally shrink under his eyes, his sudden suggestion to eat dinner with you is already enough to make you feel out of place, and now he is trying to make an eye contact with you.
The statement alone left you taken aback. "...Why?" You finally replied. There is so much you want to say, but you could only dream of mustering up the courage to say it to him. After all, he's quite unpredictable. What if you said something stupid? He would probably internally mock you, thus it's better for you to keep it to yourself. It's why you never try talking to him first.
It's laughable really. Maybe, even the moon and stars above would be entertained. What a loser. It's humiliating to think that you would end up in a loveless marriage when you've always been a hopeless romantic.
What's even more embarrassing is that the exchange of conversation between both of you is comparable to a regular discussion between business partners.
However, what Alhaitham says next is what fully caught your attention. "To be honest, I've never thought of our marriage as something out of convenience. It's no wonder that you would think that of course, since our situation itself is quiet... eh." It's the first time that he talks a lot. Usually, it would be either just a short request, question or reply. Nothing more than that.
"Like I stated. It's neither you nor is it my fault that we end up like this... So if you are planning to apologise, you shouldn't." You finally look at him in the eye. His mouth forming into a thin line, his brows furrowing. It's evident that he's already coming up of a reply.
"I want you to give me some space to think," Alhaitham folded his arms, his face morphing into his usual poker face. "it is to make sure that I don't make rushed decision. Moreover, I have yet to manage your alimony."
To make sure that he doesn't make rushed decision? It's not like he's the one who wants a divorce. Your relationship was fake anyway, what decision is there to make?
As if reading your thought, Alhaitham adds, "By the way, I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings in any way. I just... nevermind. Just give me 6 months."
Now that you think about it, you also do have to prepare for some things before the divorce. You still hadn't thought of which place you're going to stay at and etc.
Though a logical part of your brain wondered why would he need about 6 months to make up his mind. It's not like he's the one who requested for a divorce anyway.
You still agreed however. He might just want to exaggerate the time. Knowing him, he probably didn't take that much time to make up his mind... Alhaitham is known for his cleverness, he's the type to make a final decision immediately after hearing about them. Though, this is a different case.
As if last night's scenario isn't enough to leave you internally gag, you find yourself waking up to breakfast that is already prepared on the dining table.
A sticky note was then found beside the plate. 'I made you breakfast. — A.' You read.
You set yourself down, placing the glass of coffee as you start munching on the food. It makes you feel somewhat guilty for eating something that he make. After all, both of you mostly eat individually. Except when there's a special occasion of course.
Finishing the food, you immediately clean them up as usual.
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Unexpectedly, you finished your class earlier than you thought. Your lecturer had business to do, so the class had to end at 3PM.
Your friends invited you to go out with them, but you refused. You want to head home and rest.
Stepping your foot inside the apartment, you went straight to your room. Immediately going for a warm shower. After that, you cooked some meal, and eat it inside your room while facing your laptop, which contains drafts for your assignments.
After finishing your meal, you clean them up and put it back to it's usual place, while also tidying up the living room for a bit. You continue where you left your assignment, typing away on your laptop now in a prone position on your bed.
Without your will, you inevitably pass out from exhaustion.
"You will lose everyone Y/n. Everyone will turn their backs from you. Just like me. " A voice echoed in the unknown room.
"You... Who are you?" You questioned. The woman in front of you has her face blurred, her body hidden from the mist. She's far from you, but her voice is loud enough for you to hear.
The figure only drew closer, your eyes widen at the sight of bloods dripping from her dress. As she draws closer and closer, you instinctively step back from her, as her face finally shows what you didn't expect. "Silly little girl, can't even remember her mother..." She then laughed maniacally. Her face was distorted, as your breathing becomes out of control.
"NO! Stay away from me! I don't know you!"
"You can deny it if you want but every time you remember about what happened, you'll always think about me. I'll always haunt your mind."
You covered your ears at this, shutting your eyes. "Please, leave me alone. I don't want to see you. Go away!"
"You know Y/n," She calls your name in a sing-song voice, "I've always wished you were dead. If only you were the one to die, years ago..."
Images of the incident years ago flashes through your mind, as you hyperventilate. The woman then walk towards you, her pace now increasing. It's as if she's chasing you.
"GO AWAY FROM ME!"
"Y/n! Hey, wake up!" Your body was shaken up. You quickly opened your eyes, only to see Alhaitham next to your bed. You don't even realise that your eyes are dripping with tears, your cheeks stained.
You are still recollecting what happened, but your body instantly reacted against your consent. As it reaches to hug the man beside you.
The man flinched, before resorting to pat your back.
taglist: @odevote118 @levisbebe @hitomi-inaru @no3hg3nshin
author's note: the first few chapters are a bit boring but it gradually gets better i swear 🤫 also taglist is open if u guys want
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© @qiwoomi
est. 020323
do not copy, translate and repost my work.
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wisteriagoesvroom · 1 month
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For the trope mashup thing whatever: arranged marriage and neighbors 👀 - CX
again not one i would've picked but thank you for prompting it !! this also uh, got longer than i thought.
(from the prompts mash up - still taking submissions)
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“What do you mean your visa’s running out?” Lando asks.
“I’m Australian. Not a magician. Commonwealth only gets you so far.” 
“I thought you were here on a scholarship.”
“Well. Yeah. But scholarships stop. Once you graduate.” 
Lando toes the doorway rug. It feels weird to be talking about this in the middle of the hallway, though the only other person who would be listening might be Mrs. Kapoor, and half the time it’s only because she sticks her head out to ask if Lando or Oscar would take one of her mystery vegan curries. Lando is neither a huge fan of vegan food nor curry, and he trusts Oscar’s word for it that it’s good because they eat it while playing Gran Turismo at Lando’s place. But Lando always accepts the curries nonetheless, because his parents raised him to be polite, and he wasn’t raised in a barn. (Even if he technically grew up in converted farmhouse in the countryside, but that was besides the point.)  Either way, this is slipping away from him much quicker than he’d anticipated. Late night hangouts, dropping mail and post-it notes, text messages about the community garden. The most inane smalltalk about things big and small from the origins of moths to whether aliens were out there or just chose to ignore the +44 area code. Oscar always laughing in the right places when Lando regales him about tales of his terrible online dating stories, Oscar always picking the pickles out of the roast beef bagels before he passes one to Lando. The corner of Lando’s sofa that Lando has started to think of as Oscar’s because he’s there so often, reading one of his books or trying to speedread a JSTOR article about the lifecycle of urban pathogens while Lando worked on artwork for his upcoming store launch. 
Lando’s synapses are firing too fast. His brain did that most days, and that was what made him exceedingly good at his job, and today in particular - it doesn’t feel like there’s any logical way out. 
Lando remembers that movie they watched once though. As a joke. The one they both pretended not to enjoy, with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds in Alaska. The one they watched when Oscar sat next to Lando on the sofa, and they both pretended the entire night that their knees weren’t touching. 
His therapist said he had a tendency to get ahead of himself when under stress. But it’s a joke, it’s not serious, there’s no way—
“We could just like, get married.”
Lando shoves his hands in his pockets. That came out way more calm and cooler than he thought it actually would.  And to his credit, Oscar doesn’t drop his mug of tea. Lando knows that’s his favourite one, because Lando got it for him, and it says Science is my superpower. Oscar does, however, slightly shift his grip on the mug.
“I feel like it’d be complicated to explain to my mum why I randomly married my upstairs neighbour?” 
“But it’s not a no.”
Oscar tilts his head. There’s a glimmer of something focused, maybe even hungry in his eyes. Oscar gets like that when his mind turns, when he’s working on an especially difficult thesis, when the pieces are forming and he can lock into the crucial details.
Lando is a little alarmed at how much he already recognises it, and how much more often he’d like to draw that reaction out. 
“If the facts don’t fit the theory, then reexamine the facts. Right?” Oscar says.
And Lando is there, in the doorway. Conscious that Mrs Kapoor might’ve heard everything, but all the more conscious that there’s a hammering in his heart that he can’t tell is nervousness, or anticipation. 
What’s the stress limit for a joke you’re probably already pushing too far? Lando thinks.
He isn’t sure.
But maybe it’s a thesis worth testing out.  
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(and ok maybe i cheated a little on arranged marriage but i think this is the closest i could get with the contemporary context. thank you @cx-boxbox for the prompt <3)
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flyawaybird444 · 6 months
Text
[11:11] make a wish
✩•̩̩͙*I see forever in your eyes*•̩̩͙✩
⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆ ⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆ ⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆
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⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆ ⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆ ⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆
{Description} Stray Kids with a spiritual S/O
This was just a ✨shower thought✨ i had earlier, and I figured it was the perfect thing to kickstart my blog or whatevs 🤷🏻‍♀️
{Warnings} None? Maybe religious themes? Tarot reading?
——— ⁺⋆ ⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆ ⋆⁺ ———
When you first brought Hyunjin home, he spent a long time looking through all your crystals. He was interested to learn what they were, but he didn’t really care about the spiritual properties. Our boy just likes pretty things ok TT
Even years later he still loves going into crystal shops and apothecaries to see the handmade jewelry and other trinkets. He 100% thinks it’s so cottagecore. He takes candid polaroids of you while you’re meditating or walking around your favorite metaphysical shop because he thinks you’re so beautiful when you’re in your happy place, and your devotion to it is attractive to him. Hyunjin really likes candle spells because he says they’re romantic. He asked you once as a joke if you put a love spell on him and you said yes. He didn’t realize you were kidding at first and had to contemplate his life for a second.
Han is always happy to talk about the things you love. He likes the surface level stuff like crystals and meditation/manifesting, and even some spell work, but do not show this man any type of divination because he will be terrified. You once pulled out your pendulum to ask it a question, and as soon as it started swinging he was ready to call a priest. He’d probably take a lot of convincing to let you read his tarot cards. He has a lot of anxiety about the future as it is, and he also doesn’t understand how a deck of cards could possibly know him that well.
Supportive boyfriend award goes to Felix on this one. He wants to know anything and everything, will ask to look at your grimoire, wants you to read his tarot cards literally all the time.
“Y/N, I don’t know what i wanna eat for dinner, can you ask your cards what i should have?”
“I- Lix that’s not how that works”
He absolutely love’s apothecaries and metaphysical shops because he says they feel happy inside. You ignited such a love for incense in him, when you guys go out he always smells like smokey vanilla and it’s great.
Chan Is an old soul. If he hasn’t already delved into spirituality himself, he’s the most likely to become spiritual when he starts dating you. He’s very respectful and mature about it, and knows not to touch anything on your altar. Chan also loves to meditate with you in the mornings. You told him once that you felt a connection with the moon, and since then he always sends you photos of the moon when it looks pretty. 110% he wants to get high with you and talk about your ideas on the afterlife and the multiverse. Tarot readings help ease his mind when making tough decisions, so every now and then, the two of you will sit down with a glass of wine and do a reading.
Changbin doesn’t believe in it at first. He thinks tarot readings and divination is an act, and he’s definitely the type to ask the typical “well how do you explain __” questions. Then the day you gave him a really detailed tarot reading and the situation played out exactly as the cards said it would the following week, he started to realize it was very real. He’s really interested in divination because it challenges his logical brain. He likes looking at the forged weapons at your local metaphysical supply shop, and is secretly dying to play with the Tibetan singing bowls.
For Minho, he likes candle spells, but not for the same reason hyunjin likes them. He thinks they feel powerful when you do them, and that’s the thing he likes most about your practice. Wants to learn about hexing. He likes the comfort in your protection spells, and he thinks money and luck spells are really cool. He once watched you do a money spell and then find a $100 bill in your coat pocket, and he was sold immediately. Tries to manifest really random things into happening like finding stray cats to pet when he goes on walks.
Seungmin is so attentive with you, and he’s supportive boyfriend number three out of the group. He’ll ask you questions all timidly because he doesn’t wanna accidentally offend you or sound dumb when he doesn’t know something. He also frequently brings home cool rocks he finds for you because he knows you like them. Seungmin likes that you’re grounded and connected to the earth, and really loves going on nature walks to forage with you.
Jeongin is confused. But he’s also easily impressed by everything you do. The first time he sees you open a circle before doing a spell, he’s so hype.
“WOW NOONA THAT IS SO COOL, but also what is it?”
He acts like you’re doing a magic trick when you’re reading his cards. Will literally give you a round of applause when something you say resonates with him. He’s also the type to want to touch and play with literally everything in the apothecary. Once, he accidentally put his candy wrapper on your altar without thinking and was paranoid for like a month after.
[AN: Hi, if you like this ily and you should send me requests for more. Mwa 💋]
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