#i am not a professional and i am not actually good at helping ppl through their troubles

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

#i hope you are okay #i wish i could help more #i hope the pain eases soon #and i hope that you stay #ps . to those of you reading this thinking i should help you too: please just dm me #it makes me really #really really scared when it's anonymous #bc i cant check in with u #i am not a professional and i am not actually good at helping ppl through their troubles #this is an exception bc they are 16 #not the rule #ps if u misunderstand ''being a teenager is the hardest thing i ever did'' when i mention briefly that i was in unsafe housing... #trust me. it was worse there. by like A HUGE margin #every person raised in unsafe housing nodding their head like . oh yeah worse stuff TECHNICALLY happened after but leaving that home was #legit the hardest thing i ever did

[cupcakeinat0r]

A couple of yall asked for the booty routine so here u go, shawty <3

Ik this looks like a lot, but trust, bae, it’s important. I felt like if ima talk abt my routine, might as well talk a lil bit abt food too since both work as a team.

[First, let me say that I am by no means a professional. This is something I've learned and acquired through self-research, as well as having two siblings, one who is a bodybuilder and the other who is a personal trainer. Also, the gym is a safe n fun space for everyone:) Work out because you want to, not bc you think you need to look a certain way <3]

Here's my Split: I added my upper body days as well in case yall wanted to kno <3

Monday: Glutes + quads

Tuesday: Back + Biceps

Wednesday: Glutes + Hamstrings

Thursday: Chest + Tricep

Friday: Full Body

Saturday + Sunday: Active rest!!! (Could be running, walking, bicycling, etc., whatever is fun to do! My personal fav is the stair master for an hr or Running for 3 miles, but you do whatever you can. Listen to your body.)

In addition, I do cardio after each sesh on the weekdays. For me, that's running for like 2 miles or so, depends how I'm feeling, but you do whatever cardio you'd like! A good start could simply be inclined walking!

Also, pls pls pls remember rest days are VITALLL. If u want to grow that booty (which is something the couple of you specifically mentioned), those rest days are important bc this is the period when those muscles are actually repairing themselves from the workout, resulting in growth!!! A huge misconception is that “the muscles grow during the workout”… no. Ur actually tearin up those puppies, so that’s what rest days r for! Both rest + protein contribute to ur muscle repair + growth (I’ll talk abt protein intake later). Naturally, I like to rest Sat n Sun, but it could be any 2-3 days of the week. Sometimes, I be usin that Fri full-body sesh as a rest day too so liiiike... if u need to, please do (especially during periods uuuuugh).

As for specific Workouts, I'll list em here. These r for the booty ;)

Hip thrusts, booty + hamstrings

Romanian dead lift, booty + hammies

Goblet Squat, quad destroyer

Hip abductions, booty burner, omfg

Leg press, depends on footing. Higher on platform works hammies n booty, lower works quads.

Weighted Squats, the whole damn leg.

Body weight squats OR lunges (good for warm-ups)

Leg curl, hammies

Leg extension, quads

Bulgarian split squat, booty n whole leg

I do 4 sets of 12 <3

(ALMOST FORGOT, I TARGET FOR 5-6 DIFF EXERCISE FOR EACH WORKOUT)

Nutrition plays a huuuge part as well, but I'll only talk very lil abt it since ion know yall's specific needs<3

Generally, if u want growth, just take ur current weight and put that in grams, for example = 170 lbs. -> 170 g of protein each day. Now, taking in the amount of protein u need can be hard at first, so just for the beginning, just try to at least get close to it then work ur way up. Foods high in protein that I like are Greek Yogurt, Chicken, Lean Ground Beef, Salmon, and snackies such as protein bars (avocado is like the holy grail for a phat booty just sayin. It's not protein, but it's the healthiest source of fat there is!). As for other groups (fat n carbs) don’t be so strict, bae… just use your portions. No need to restrict urself from ANY food bc no food is “bad”. I can talk allllll day abt this one but ima just shut up for now lmao.

PHEW, honestly, don't mention the gym around me cuz I will not shut up. Ima gym rat at heart so like I could literally keep writing abt this but bc literally, like, 3 ppl asked for this, Ima just wrap up here <3

Hope this was a lil bit of help @gltzpzy @mybvalentine @icenbroo <33333333

P.s. would it be cringe if I said I sometimes use Miguel as motivation??? Like he’s watchin me or som??? Bye, I hate that I do that, I’m like actually mentally unwell bc of that stupid mass of pixels Sony created ☠️

[librarycards]

what sorts of things do you think can help people deal with their mental illness besides therapy/meds? i’m not saying i disagree with anti-psychiatry, and i have had bad experiences with psychiatrists/therapists for multiple reasons, but what kinds of things actually help? i’m on wait lists for free therapy and multiple of them have long way lists and hotlines don’t help me, i feel at a loss. and i kind of feel like being being this mentally ill would be a burden upon any friend/partner i could potentially have. i honestly don’t know what to do bc i haven’t improved in years

first, a clarification: i'm not anti-med, i am only anti-forced treatment. i think you'll find many, though not all, anti-psych (and adjacent) ppl with this view, which is often shoehorned in with broad anti-med shit both because of the dubious history of some antipsych figures and because of strawmanning by pro psych forces. but i digress.

there is no simple solution for crisis/ongoing suffering, especially because the actual biggest help to all of us would be the abolition of white supremacy / ableism / carceral neoliberal capitalism / settler colonialism / cisheteropatriarchy. absent this, we're left trying to fill in the gaps, collectively, as best we can, while always acknowledging that we are putting interpersonal band-aids on systemic harms.

with all that being said, i think the best place to start would be to take stock of what and who you have as resources: are there any friends you feel comfortable sitting beside or watching a movie with, even if you don't feel ready or comfortable sharing "deeper" stuff with them? do you have internet people, or a place where you can shout into the void (like tumblr)? is there a public space you can go to, like a park, where you can at least get out of the house for a little while and be alone among others?

i personally take medication, though i'm tapering one of the last ones i'm on, and chose to discontinue the myriad pills i was prescribed as an involuntary psych inpatient. this isn't because meds are inherently evil, but only because i didn't like who i was when i was on them, nor could i tolerate the conditions under which they were forced on me. absent these meds, i have found other ways to move through my own brainstuff: occasionally weed (e.g. right now), more often forcing myself to sit next to other people who i know will make sure i don't do anything shitty to myself (even if we're not in active conversation). i have a bunch of youtube videos, books, audiobooks, podcasts, etc. on deck.

i have throughout the last few years cultivated an online and in-person community in which i'm not "burdening" / "dumping" my shit onto one or even a couple individuals all the time. you're right that the full extent of what we experience is definitely too much for one other interlocutor to take - we're designed to live in community, not in isolated couples. it's also true that, while occasionally and contingently helpful, a professional counselor or therapist can be inaccessible, abusive/violent, etc. etc.

while you're waiting to experiment with the free therapy you mentioned, it might be a good idea to reach out to people you do trust to have a frank, meta-conversation about your respective relational needs. this can feel weird at first, but i autistically love it, and it's also common in a lot of kink/bdsm communities (of which there's plenty of ND overlap haha). rules can be freeing. you don't have to worry about violating unspoken boundaries when you've spoken them, and established nonjudgemental ways of enforcing them and holding each other accountable when you haven't. in the past, i've established these both verbally and in google docs, etc. i've also established it - and found it especially helpful - in situations where myself and the other person(s) experience different axes of privilege and marginalization. but regardless, it's a great way of self-designing the boundaries that in many cases we expect therapy to do for us - except, without the carceral impulse endemic to the psych practice.

i also think it's okay to acknowledge that you might be a burden sometimes, and that the people who love you will carry you. they know you'll do the same for them. part of being in relation to others is sometimes receiving more than we give - it's part of being alive, being vulnerable. let yourself be cared for, let yourself be heavy. think about how good it feels to fall into bed at the end of the day. rest is the first step to feeling a little better.

#this is just a start and non comprehensive #but if i interpreted your q correctly you're looking for a psyc critical approach to mental wellbeing with materially actionable steps #and the possibility to help in the absence of formal supports #ask #anonymous #world healing #antipsychiatry

[mitsurichan3]

Yknow its crazy its been a year since the fall out. Im definitely doing a little better in some ways, and worse in others.

Im okay but it could be better. TLDR im finding that i am in a little bit of a rut and i am struggling to find a sense of direction in my personal life now that im 25.

Day job, career, art woes, social life, financies and priorities are all confusing rn lol but im managing somehow. Specifics below.

If you decided you wanted specifics here you go.

Work started rough this school season. The schedule is a fucking mess. Two districts are struggling and are hot messes. New part timer joined the fray in the middle of all of this so its training a person ontop of the already chaotic mayhem.

The friend fall out with that bitch still has me... frustrated. Some days i can go about my day without blinking an eye, some days i still go through anger and frustration and bitterness and feeling disgusted with myself that i gave so much to this person only to be thrown under the bus on a public timeline where she twisted the fucking narrative to be in her favor when it actually didnt happen that way. Her name sickens me. Everything that is associated with her is tainted and i cant enjoy shit like i used to because how deep the betrayal goes down to my core. Fuck you, i hope you actually have the worse kind of miserable life she can actually live.

Ontop of this i feel... inadequate. I feel like I am doing too much at once, and nothing at all at the same time. Yes my life has gotten quieter and i have room now to do things i have always wanted to do, but now that i have that wiggle room, things feel far more isolating than before. I feel alone. I do a lot of stuff, now, alone. It gets lonely. I do go out with friends ocassionally, but its not the same. I dont feel that sense of direction that helps with calming my anxiety down. I have always known i was an anxious person but having a sense of direction and of moving forward has always kept me calm. Not anymore.

I dont check tumblr as often as I would like in the past but I also am using it more purposefully filthy but it helps some nights though i have consistently gotten a bit of love here too. An old pokemon piece gets a like every now and then. It brings me a little bit of hope knowing people do go through the tag and DIG EXTENSIVELY for things.

Im frustrated that I am not moving forward in my art making career and artist era. I am mostly putting my efforts and energy in maintaining my day job bc its a realiable source of income and it saddens me to know it is coming to that point in my life where safety is better than taking risks and not following my dreams. My supervisor is aware that i am looking for ways to grow professionally in a more creative environment but i dont know... unless I can get the ppl on the internet to help support my artistic endevors i dont think it would be a good move to quit the museum when I still have car loans to pay. ugh priorities.

I do want to post more consistently and show more of my art. Recently i went to an art sale hosted by my university and to tell yall the truth It was such a flop it hurt. Not because we didn't sell, but because the other artist vending got soooo many compliments on her artwork while my ceramics were just catching dust. People werent.. gravitating towards it. And it hurts. I poured my heart and soul making those pieces but I guess it serves me for not putting in MORE effort into making better art. Ughhh.

The idea of going back to school for a master's degree is.. exciting but I am not sure if that is the path i want to go down. I just want to live happy in a comfortable life doing what i love aka making art. And dont get me wrong i have ideas its just!... sigh, energy. Time. Effort. Most importantly comfort .

I am trying to rethink ways of diversifying my income venues and put 250% more effort into the platforms and venues inrl and online that are producing a bit of money for me. I want to make prints. I want to make stickers. I want to make paintings. I want to stream more often and stick to a consistent schedule. I want to earn a living making things I love. I dont want to be stuck in corporate all my life. I want to MAKe!!!

Sigh.

#personal #status update #updates

[daz4i]

suicide and general negativity ig

i hate that english doesn't have a good word for מיואש (filled with despair. hopeless? ig) bc this is how i'm feeling fr

there is just. nothing good. and there is so much bad - both BAD bad bc of the war but also mundane bad bc yknow, Life - that i'm getting so overwhelmed i can't handle anything

my whole month is filled with medical shit and there's probably gonna be even more bc i need more tests and they're all just. such a pain to do (it sounds whiny but genuinely i can't handle them. just thinking abt them makes me so anxious bc they all require lots of painful preparation, sometimes for a few days, and they're so gross and require being poked with needles which my medical trauma certainly isn't helping with. and even tho i did so many already they can't find shit and i'm so tired i'm so done with this body

and like. it'd be one thing if i wanted to live. if i wanted to make my life better or thought it was possible. but by now i know it's not and i know i won't so it just becomes infinitely harder. like if i compare life to being in prison, it feels like the warden decided to torture me just for fun to make it even worse

but there is nothing good there is nothing to look forward to bc everything is shit and nothing's worth it and i hate when ppl tell me to enjoy the little things bc there is nothing to enjoy about them either. i can't have most of them anyway. i wish i could. but this shitty ass body and fucked up brain won't let me

there is no future for me i know i'm never gonna amount to anything when i can't even do the most basic shit about being human, literally how am i gonna be able to fulfill my """"potential"""" when i can't even do stuff like eat or sleep normally. when i can't go outside. when i can't handle being around people. when my body crashes and burns after standing for a few minutes or walking for more than a couple hundred meters. what even IS there for me to achieve in such a state. the only win i can have is getting out of bed and it doesn't feel like a win because i don't. want. to live. i have fucking professionals, people getting paid to help me do at least some of these things, and i can't bring myself to even take the first step bc just thinking about it makes me clam up so bad i can't move or talk and everything starts hurting so much more

there's not even. mundane fun. or joy. bc no one i know has time or energy for that. bc that's just what being an adult is ig. not that there's much to do in order to have fun anyway. like i said nothing to look forward to everything is so shit and nothing actually brings me joy anyway and it's not like i can handle being around people enough to help with that

i was not meant to be alive i am not designed to exist and like at this point I'd assume my who knows how many near death experiences may have been the universe trying to correct the mistake that is my existence and for some reason not managing to pull through the final stretch

i'm so tired i'm so done with this i wish i could be killed in some certain quick way bc i can't. i can't handle any of this. this is too much

#vent #a very long one. because. i am doing very bad rn 👍 #i am in the trenches as they say. #suicide // #what if i take a bunch of pills. ik i'm just more likely to throw up then get hospitalized but man :/ #my body is so fragile yet so resilient at the same time. it can't handle anything but it survives through everything #man i'd ask for help rn but idk what even could help me rn. other than being killed i mean #already took a clonex and i can feel it fighting for its life to calm me down but unfortunately. my shitty brain's shittiness is stronger #anyway sorry for all the negative bullshit it's been a bad week and it's gonna be a bad month #january usually is honestly. #i mean last year i met [redacted] and they did make me want to live but! that lasted a month. so. no more will to live for me 👍 #sorry for the even more negativity #trying to keep it contained to one post at least to spare your dashboard more bullshit later tonight #...i want to know ppl don't want me gone tho. maybe. idk if that'll help. but. ugh idk how to ask for things sorry

[whmp]

in case you're just here for the good stuff, i'll be tagging my personal ramblings as #whmpersonal so you can avoid em BUT this is tangentially related to the game project i'm working on, so stick around i guess? tl;dr: i'll probably make a more coherent post where I ask ppl for help (especially artists). also, i'll be more attentive and answer your asks faster, hopefully. : )

anyway, after a bit of a "review" of my creative process (and i guess my uhh way of living in general?) i've noticed that it's a huge clusterfuck. and that it has been since i was a kid. without some external pressure or an imposed structure (like deadlines, parents or strongly worded emails) i just sort of relied on random surges of productivity to carry me through life. on one hand, it's kinda fun: most of the time i'm not doing anything valuable and then all of a sudden i condense weeks worth of work into several sleepless days during which i feel like An Immortal Unstoppable God. lighting bolts shoot from my fingertips, my eyes glow in the dark, and my caffeine-to-blood volume ratio is hovering around 1.

unfortunately, it's not really sustainable. the "not doing anything valuable" stage that takes up most of my time is not me just chilling. it's me freaking the fuck out about not doing anything despite wanting to and finding myself just. not able to. not to mention that some things just need minor, but constant maintenance - at best i'd just forget about them and face the consequences later on. at worst i'd be acutely aware of them while procrastinating, clueless as to what's wrong with me.

couple that with a couple other unhealthy habits, a microscopic attention span and wow, i fit like all the criteria for adhd. i gotta admit i was super sceptical at first when doing any research, since, well. how the fuck am i even supposed to gain any unbiased insight into this. anyway, i spent a stupid amount of money on an official diagnosis (seriously why is this not covered by insurance gsygx), it took a million meetings and tests and i get a piece of paper that says i have add and deserve some medication.

this has also made me realize that i'm spread out super thin when it comes to projects. i love every single one of them, but im going to have to be a bit more realistic in terms of what can remain in "when it's done" limbo and what needs a bit of a push. the whump game is unique in that it's not just me who wants this to eventually get released. so! what this means is that it needs a proper, project structure. not a .txt on my desktop where i keep a backlog of missing features. but must important of all, it needs ~*people*~. this is the first time i took a step back and estimated how much time everything would take me and yeahhhh i was being very optimistic when i said "playable build in 2023" lol. i've been hesitant to ask for help bc 1. i'm stubborn : ) 2. im bad at coordinating stuff 3. i can't pay ppl - like seriously, there is one person making a model for me (if you're reading this sorry i didn't ask if you want a tag but this is just a personal post where i keep yapping) and it's looking so clean and professional,,, you gotta sell this as an asset.

HOWEVER im getting past the mentality of "i gotta do as much as i can by myself". and also taking meds so that im able to focus on tasks (both gamedev-related and others) and actually pay attention to what im doing. which is great news for development! and answering asks! ill be making a dev post where i tag all the ppl and will also ask for help.

that's it. im on a train rn and bored out of my mind so this is why this post exists, sorry. anyway check out this screenshot of a moment in clone high that i relate to deeply.

#whmpersonal #<- this is the tag #isn't it creative like wow i had to think about it for a couple of minutes #not tagging it as whump dev since it's just me rambling #I'm so bored you don't even know #this train is already late by like an hour??? god #shout out to łódź fabryczna gotta be one of the ugliest train stations known to man

[kidflashimpulse]

i personally really wanna know what Bart's relationship with the mental health check-ups is. like, is he super tight-lipped about what he's been through and plays everything off as fine, that he's handling it? does he talk about certain stuff but not others? has he legitimately gone to therapy since s2 or has he only done what's required of him? i'm very very curious

Okay, so this is such a good question it has taken me forever to put this together because I have a million thoughts and its impossible for me to put a proper structure to it so please bare with me, I tried my best LOL also I am SO SORRY for writing up this essay as my response LMAO i don't know, the words just won't stop !

warning: it is a lot im so sorry lol

From what I've read among the fandom, I often read that hes been put to therapy pretty much from the moment season 2 ends and has since his stay in the present managed to somewhat "heal" from his trauma or at least confront it one way or another.

Personally, I somewhat disagree with this approach. First, like we've seen from Gars arc, BB had been suffering for months pretty badly, but interventions and mandatory check ups weren't at all enforced on him until what many thought was pretty late. Honestly, I found this actually pretty realistic. From both a "slice of life" aspect as well as what's typically expected from professionals. Thats because you can't force someone to seek help unless they pose a threat to themselves or can't care for themselves anymore. So people really only intervene when things reach their nuclear stage. Typically people who also need help withdraw themselves from their social circle, as we saw with Gar, which idk if ppl realise makes it incredibly hard for them to even try to help (not out of a lack of empathy, but because they have their own responsibilities, and if someone withdraws themselves from you, then its much harder to approach them or be aware of the extent of their mental health problems). Again, I actually found his friends general involvement in Gars mental health journey fairly realistic.

I think people also overestimate the reach (heh) of the Leagues mental health efforts. The mandatory aspect is a simple "check up" and this involves a lot of people. So unless someone is actively seeking or needs help, theres only so much this service can do.

Now how this unwarrented essay on an imaginary health care system ties in to Bart (lol im so sorry for my rambles), well ill tie that in later.

Now, maybe im reading too much into it considering how him being fine was made into a gag in the Elder Wisdom Season 3 episode lol, but his first reaction (which at that point wasn't made into a recurring joke) to Barrys worry was very much "its nothing, im fine, your worry is annoying". His emotional intelligence was also displayed from his scene later on where he manages to call out what Jay was really going thru for what it was.

Elder wisdom was an episode that was listed multiple times in the watch list for the series and Jays involvement was pretty prominent in it. Now with how Phantoms concluded, Jay was listed as someone by Dinah in the last episode who has needed mental support, so it seems like that plot line has been continued. Now I don't know about you, but I interpreted Dinahs mention of Jays issues to stem from Bart being missing (compounding onto general hero life stress and him probably still mourning Joan). This is because the creators of YJ always heavily emphasise that "everything u need to know regarding all plots is what is shown" and starting from the moment in season 3 where Bart guarantees he's not going anywhere, to the moment that Jay returns to an empty home from which Bart was missing for over two weeks, to the conclusion of Jay needing mental support, I feel like its a very tidy and directly connected storyline.

Another thing from that episode which has been continued over this season is that Bart is always guaranteeing that hes fine. Its a little jarring in parallel to the worry Jay was going thru, especially with us as the audience knowing that he actually has been through a lot in those two weeks and that all that time he was literally in bandages. But the moment hes awake with Clark and co, he guarantees hes fine and immediately resumes with the mission.

What I found pretty interesting with Barts involvement in Phantoms is that a lot of what has been previously assumed of him from season 2 has been supported this season. I believe the intention of his scene with the Legion when he pretty much cornered them into revealing the truth is that he somewhat has a switch on his personality depending on the circumstances. Which to an extent supports the notion that while his general personality is pretty much genuine, what he shows depends on what hes in the mood to play up or down.

From season 2 we've seen that he can be pretty tight lipped on what he wants. From season 3 we've seen him adjust to his new timeline pretty well and in season 4 we've seen some of his complexities as well as how it can affect the people he cares about.

So, with all this in mind, to answer your questions. With the check ups being spread thin with the purpose of singling out people who are shown to need/ask for it and his affinity for being tight lipped as well as playing everything off, guaranteeing that hes fine and keeping to himself, hes really only done what hes been required to do and played off any need for concern that would require him to seek further help. This doesn't mean I don't think he hasn't talked about stuff with the people hes close with.

Lastly, he also has the factor that a lot his background has to do with the future. Sure it might be one that doesn't exist anymore, but im sure he'd struggle to explain things without giving away too many things that he'd believe he really shouldn't be saying. Also his very specific background restricts him from seeking any professional help outside of league related resources.

So yeah, if you made it to the end of my post, thank you for reading :D <3 I hope through all this I at the very least, managed to address your questions and give my two cents on our fave speedsters relationship with mental health check ups

#YJ asks #bart allen #Bart Allen analysis #kid flash #impulse #young justice #young justice phantoms #jay garrick #flash family #I mean two members of the flash fam is still flash fam right and Barry was mentioned lol #garfield logan #beast boy #yj #the flash

[thelemoncoffee]

here they are, the rolling nerds saiouma blog concepts i said i made yesterday

Kokichi User: cunningCapper Bio: "|| Capper's the name, making you irate is my game || He/It/Freak || Moriarty Kinnie, Professional Bear-poker and Wasp-nest Batter, IRL Clown || Sorry I'm a Gemini, I just can't help it || I can speak French between your legs || Plagues on Humanity DNI || Ask my age again and I'll make you the reason Area 51 exists ||"

Inbox names: Askbox - Asky Waskies UwU Submissions - *has this shut off*

His pinned: *his most infamous post* *idk what that would look like* *probably something cursed as fuck*

Blog Theme: -Eyestrain hell -Lots of red (cause i hc that's his favorite color) -He spent money to get one of those PC blog themes that are nearly impossible to navigate -His icon is probably some sorts of eyestrain jester/clown he drew -Banner is a super cursed image he dug up from the depths of hell

Ko's Custom Tags: Reblogs - #Refuck you in the ASS Queue - #Queue Continuum Debate - #Bear Caves and Wasp Nests Not real opinion - #Buddy-buddy with Satan Memes- #Clown to Clown commemeication His Pets - #Munkustrap and The Tapeworms Mutuals - #HORRIBLE BEASTS(affectionate) IRL Friends - #Insane Clown Pussies Boyfriend - #BoyToy Tales Life updates - #The 'I am actually a real person' Tag Asks - #A death threat probably Anons - #The Council of Shades Fanbases - #OwO a fandom wandom? Fave Characters - #Skrungly Gulp Plinko my Blorbo

Kind of posts: -The awful kind -He likes playing devil's advocate so much he has a tag to notify people he doesn't actually believe what he's arguing -The kind of tumblr user that fires the rent lowering shots -Actually a very good debate account despite the insane chaos in his debate unrelated posts -doesn't show his face- not for privacy reasons, but because he likes being seen as less of a human and more of an SCP

Shuichi User: pinetree-feathers Bio: "magpie told me i give off christmas season vibes"

Inbox names: Askbox - mail Submissions - share-a-thing

His pinned: [hello!] ~~~~ >call me pine >*age* >he/him but i'll accept any >half-hispanic japanese >snakes <3 >ppl tell im mean/sassy, i don't know why >this post is tagged with all my custom tags for easy access >*his DNI, whatever that may look like* ~~~~ [don't mind me i'm just a debate kid looking for someone to have discussions with. feel free to start debates with me on posts, but i will stop responding if things don't remain civil, and will block you if you harass me or others on any of my posts] ~~~~

Blog Theme: -Muted colors -Favorite shade of yellow -Either doesn't use a costume PC theme or has a really nice one -Icon rotates between various pieces of fanart he found of his favorite characters. -Banner is a cozy aesthetic picture

Shu's Custom Tags: Reblog - #interacting Debate - #debate corner Memes - #senseble chuckes Pets - #freeloaders Friends and Mutuals - #mi amigos Boyfriend - #mi amor magpie Life Updates - #life story Asks - #pine's mailbox Art - #quill and ink Selfies - #pine photos Aesthetic posts - #scrapbook various Interests - #my media catalog

Kind of posts: -Chill and pleasant kind -He likes to debate but also hates drama, so he only debates on stuff that isn't going to make him have to temporally turn asks off, this results in him sometimes getting into weird and niche debates -Unlike Kokichi he doesn't try to rile people up, so his blog is really peaceful and has a ton of debate unrelated stuff on it that is fun to dig through -He's posts selfies cause he feels much more confident online than he does irl. also he enjoys trying to maintain an aesthetic

it's also worth noting that while they both have tags to talk about each other as lovers and are openly mutuals who frequently debate together, neither have told anyone that they are boyfriends. so no one knows Capper's boyfriend he calls "The Boytoy" that he insisted is an emo deity is actually Pine, and no one knows Pine's beloved "Magpie" who he speaks so highly of is the shitshow king Capper

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #au #tumblr #shitposty

[my-mt-heart]

Your anon mentions leaks? Well, good becasue haven't they started all of this? (I'm sure AMC wanted to announced it much later, perhaps at SDCC) wasn't there several different sources (go to DearTV, if there is anyone I trust with sources it's them) not connected to each other who were saying the same things? That Norman (not AMC) wanted move the filming to NYC and Mel didn’t and one source was talking about Daryl solo show. There was also a guy Rick cosplay from Senoia, who, before the AMC announcement, said Caryl spin off was cancelled and he suggested that something happened on the set and he called it: "flying spagetti" . Well didn't the sources mention an argument between M and N about the spinoff? They all also said the same thing that it happened suddenly and shortly before the Fandemic.

I should say for me those rumours were already proved to be true with all this shit that is happening and with Norman's weird behaviour. The only differences is location but they could change it later. I know you MT don't believe it but it is like writen on the wall. I am sure they made that decision about Europe close before the announcement and that is way there is delay.

And no, there gonna be no more leaks not for now anyway bc those ppl who leaked it works for the show (or want to work at any TWD spinoff) or work for AMC so they risk a lot. And I don't believe Mel would leak it she has more classy and integrity to act that way and her team is also professional

But, as it usually happens, years later there gonna be some talks of what had really happened I'm sure. It always has.

And one more thing, I read on Twitter that at Fandemic one person said something about Caryl's spinoff to Mel and she said - I don't remember the exact words - "we'll see about that" Am I the only one who read some weird vibe? Like she sounded a bit bitter?

Oh, god, I can’t imagine them waiting to announce that at Comic Con. That would’ve been a shit show. Not anywhere near as clean as Andy or Danai leaving. It really breaks my heart to think that Melissa probably won’t be there this year. The show’s last SDCC, possibly the last episodes for Carol, and the woman who’s supposed to be the leading lady is going to be absent…

But anyway. Those rumors. I’m not denying those sources have credibility considering they got the bare bones of it. The spin-off being turned into a Daryl spinoff, there being a location issue. But obviously there’s some miscommunication somewhere because where did NY come from? How do we know what was going through Melissa’s head at Fandemic when she wouldn’t be allowed to talk about it openly? (Others were saying she sounded excited. You’re saying there was bitterness). We just have to be careful about taking everything word for word. You’re entitled to draw your own conclusions, but you’ve heard from people who actually work in the industry (who are NOT trying to push AMC’s agenda) saying that Europe couldn’t have been a last minute change. Not if they were already prepping to film, so that is something to consider. Now, that is not to say *something* didn’t happen fairly all of a sudden. As one of my anons mentioned before, discussing details of a show you work on is taking a HUGE risk. Breaking NDA’s is a fast way to get blacklisted, so I can’t help but wonder if these sources coming out think they have a good reason to do so. I’ll repeat my stance on the whole thing: I don’t know what’s going on, but I do know that I don’t like it. 

#caryl #caryl deserved better #carol peletier #carol peletier deserved better #melissa mcbride #melissa mcbride deserved better #darylneedscarol

[humanransome-note]

Because of who I am as a person, it has taken me over a year to finally comprehend my college's registration process, of which I would have to call my guidance counselor to help me get through, thus often forcing me to skim through the left overs of online classes because my transportation situation is shoddy as all hell. although all the blame can't be put on me, when there are two separate and completely differently designed portals that allow me to register, one has more through information, and it is the one that most people don't use but the one i need.

this is a long winded way of saying I've been beat to registering for fall classes.

now this is the part where i cry a bit, then get back to trying to be productive.

Problem with that is, the most obvious option is to work. and while I appreciate my aunt, I really do, tbh I very often felt like an afterthought, and we haven't talked since june)

so normal jobs

would be more palatable if every job finding/interview experience i had didn't suck.

examples under the cut

Target:

called me at like 11:30 at night on a wednesday asking if they could do a phone interview, I say no, because it is almost midnight. im in my jammies, all my paperwork and such is put away, im considering some me time... i am not in a professional head space. I tell them while I am not available now, im good tomorrow. they say sure we'll call you around noon. Great.

tomorrow happens, i give them until one... nothing. call them myself... nothing. wait around on the same timeline friday... nothing. call them again... nothing.

Hamilton/DEH merch

the woman took me saying "my mother used to have a hoarding problem, I'm cleaning." as me saying she had recently passed... which is a fair assumption, but she hadn't. The embarrassment the interviewer obviously felt when I made that clarification I feel, in part, is how I got that job.

Barnes & Noble

said it was part time book seller. get there and they tack on "also, maybe, more often then not, the starbucks cafe." now, this feels a bit illegal, and might be, but I was there, I wore my khakis and button up, i'd try at least.

get there, it's a group interview, im nervous, thus im sweating, and it's in the break room with other employees coming and going. one even obviously and flagrantly hyping one of the other applicants.

she got that job, and i had a nervous cry in the bathroom

Press N' Grind (overpriced Cafe, disappointing I know)

had the job for three days, boss fired me, without saying anything indicative of him actually firing me like "this isn't working out" or "we have to let you go" so i spend about ten days waiting for a schedule update, and when i finally go in to ask wtf is up, he clarifies, gives me like $275 and i have a good walk/cry in the rain.

Turns out he was also having some legal issues with an old business partner regarding royalties and IP, maybe that had smth to do with it. (my mom's a nosy bitch and so am I)

Michael's

Guy says he'll email me some things, and I'm thinking cool, I've got the job! get home, no email. next morning, no email. next evening, no email. I call everyday for a week, even go in three times, the guy who interviewed me is never there.

like a month later, i've cut my losses, my mother has stopped pestering me because all of my attempts have failed. she needs poster board for an office presentation and i'm a crafty bitch, so we go to michael's.

now, sm ppl have said that what I did was a bad move. i disagree but whatever.

out of the corner of my eye, guess who I see?

so from the far end of the isle, in my jammies, (freshly bleach stained due to a laundry accident) and a set of slides, I summon from the depth's of my chest:

"What's up,

Phillip?"

he stops, he stares, he blances a bit.

"Been trying to reach you, never got that email you were supposed to send me."

he stumbles over some half said mostly implied excuse that summed up to "Im not the usual hiring manager, and when they came back they veto'd my decision."

"woulda been nice to know that a month ago."

"yeah..."

"yeah."

he gets called to the register and I swear he moved faster then he did before.

I have not gotten to the interview portion of a job application since.

#wurds #can i just float. in like a river or something? #or make like a hermit in the woods? #job interview #idk how ppl get jobs. because nearly all of these experiences were miserable

[thisdogpaystaxes]

sad out of nowhere today folks :) not really feeling well at all actually like i'm trying to nott lose it because i'm just fuking up so badly at everything in my life right now

i feel like every relationship i have is rocky and going to fall through rn well not every but i have like 3 that im jsut like so nauseous about because im convinced 2 hate me and 1 is so good but im nervous and yeah

so that's just really on my mind right now because im around them 24/7 and it's just such strong emotions and ughhhhhhh every thing is juice.

and like i just don't think im doing well at my job i don't think im learning or trying hard enough and i feel dumb as fuck because i don't have adderall and it's jsut really hard for me now bc like i randomly got adhd at 20.

but also idk if ifs adhd i think i am deteriorating physically and mentally at an alarming rate liek my motor skills just aren't what they used to be n i've been dumb. and i think everyone thinks im like so fucking dumbbbbbb and i'm like guys no i know stuff i jusssst am silly.

which also makes me sad because i know shit about psychology and i love it and i'm just fucking up with school. i am fucking upppp i struggleeee to focus on shif

and it's hard not having a car because i can't do shit. i feel restricted but i knwo ppl will give me rides i just feel horrible asking!!!!! but i literally do it for ppl like i did it for someone once who i was mutuals with for like 5 years it was crazy.

i don't think i deserve a lot of good things in my life for some reason. i am distressed as fuck and every little thing makes me melt down because i literally just can't handle anything i need something off my plate.

so i jsut took one off i'm trying to pay my school balance rn. i fucking deserve it i'm so passionate man i want to help people think clearly like we all deserve to just be heard and felt and cared for. situations are so hard, especially with extraneous variables like illness, like baby let's do this together. ur not alone.

mmmmm like i want my career so badly and i don't think a single person on earth believes in me

one of the complicated people just came in and was baby as hellll, they were divinely timed as always too because they came in and distracted me right before a mental breakdown

but i think i need the mental breakdown like i think i need to release something because i feel horrible soooo everyone leave me alone vibe

i'm really scared that i'm not learning shit for my new position like today i felt like such a fucking idiot and i don't even know if i'm sensitive but my boss is usually really hands on and good to me but today they were partnered with another boss man and they were really weird. like they made me look for the resources on my own instead of helping me and they were just waiting there and i felt dumb as shit because I DONT KNOW WHY WOULD I KNOW. like please show me. and then i asked them to help and they have like hints and it felt bad bc i was like okkkkkk like guys i feel dumb like i sisd thst out loud

and like after that we had girl time and it felt good to be friends and liek i look up to how talented they are as managers like truly i need their life balance so badly and i am trying to learn their ways idk. but like that just felt bad :/

which i get it, they are separating professional and personal, but that was just like weird. like no i feel bad. and i should've just said something so i will next time because how are they supposed to know if i'm not voicing it.

but then there's the dynamic of 'do i voice it because i'm trying to learn and get on their level' or 'should they ask because they want me to be comfortable' and i just never know with this damn company. i'm a vulnerable girl so i'll be really sweet and kind the next few days and not be mean. it's a playful thing of mine. but also if i extra love everyone around me while i'm feeling horrible, i'll get extra love back

i will be a nice girl for the next week

i'd like a new set of hips, a new car, a new brain, a new apartment (bugs are ruining my life), a new therapist. so i'll see what i can do. i might suck right now at my job but why be hard on myself. maybe i should take my laptop home this weekend and like.. take a peeeeeek.... and get my life together. i should take initiative on this because i am determined to be good.

thanks for being here for my provlem solving tumvlr i love gou

[vividaway]

hey i hope you learn to not take things so personally on behalf of gabbie hanna bc it's gone past parasocial relationships and i think you have developed a one sided codependency and it literally very obviously negatively affects your daily mental health :/ like ppl don't just say stuff to be mean - you're unhinged. legitimately.

(pt 2) also ur post abt jen is really funny bc you're like "of course she's jessis best friend" but i literally don't think she is currently and i think you're just saying that bc you can't see past being personally upset. just a thought. pls be aware that when experiencing heightened emotions doesn't mean ur reality is heightened too. :/ (pt 3) also in general id advise seeking professional mental health help bc being agoraphobic & exclusively living online is clearly giving you terminally online brain rot. do you wanna be 27 in your moms home still yelling abt online haters? are you not an adult? do you not want to live like an adult? seems ur content staying mentally 14 forever.

-----

i find these kind of asks to be the MOST amusing, because not only do these people think they know my life, they actively go out of their way to try to get in contact with me. they side with people who believe doxxing people is alright "as long as its for the greater good" and they think harassment of any sort will fix their problems (spoiler alert: it wont.) lets get one thing straight here: i dont "take thing personally on behalf of gabbie hanna", i side with what I BELIEVE to be morally correct. its not morally correct to tell someone that theyre useless, that one no wants them or cares about them, and that they should disappear to someone who has actively stated time and time again to have suicidal ideations. this is KNOWINGLY triggering and harming someone who's mentally ill, and you're just straight up a horrible shitty human being if you do that. you CAN hold someone accountable AND have empathy to what theyre going through. they dont negate each other, and the second people learn THAT is the second i will stop riding so hard for what is MORALLY correct, not for Gabbie Hanna.

(Side note: you never hear these people talk about my interest for Lele Pons, Britney Spears, Taylor Nicole Dean, Rayleigh Link, BozeDoesTrueCrime, or Colleen Ballinger and i dont even need to pose the hypothetical question of "why do you think that is?", cause i'll tell you: they dont know who i ACTUALLY am, they only know who i am twitter.)

lets talk about parasocial relationships, because those are actually one of my favorite things to talk about! I know everything about Gabbie, or at least, everything she's told the internet. every time i (or anyone) interacts with gabbie, it is with the knowledge of who she is, and the things she has done. this puts us at a disadvantage. as fans, we then have two options.

not realize you're apart of a parasocial relationship.

realize you're apart of a parasocial relationship

it seems like a "thank u captain obvious" but it honest to god isnt. we as fans know gabbie, but gabbie knows NOTHING about us. she does NOT know we exist. if you choose path 1, you're set for a very VERY toxic situation where you slowly become entitled to somebodies time and efforts when you are NOT entitled to shitall. lets talk about path 2, though!

i know facts about gabbie. i stop and realize-- i am inconsequential to gabbie's daily life even if she DOES see me...

and that is the JOY of being a fan. of knowing you're a community of thousands, and not the one on a pedestal. we arent here because we want to KNOW gabbie personally, we're here because we agree with her. we relate to the things she's experienced, and by golly, we were harassed by the SAME EXACT PEOPLE!! we have a LOT in common-- and...and thats KIIIINDAAA the definition of being in a fandom. "A fandom is a subculture composed of fans characterized by a feeling of empathy and camaraderie with others who share a common interest."

on a side note, lets talk about my daily life, since you so inquired <3

my exposure therapy has been a really good (but frightening) experience! aside from normal visits, i hung out with a group of friends, and i went to a small live show. my plans for next week have similar plans, and i've been dealing with my agoraphobia pretty well since march.

i dont know what they mean by "negative codependency" seeing as i use my twitter the same way i use my tumblr...so hey!! WHY DIDNT YOU GUYS TELL ME SOONER THAT I HAD A NEGATIVE CODEPENDENCY TO THOMAS SANDERS?!!?!?! SO RUDE!! /J on an actual note: really? codependent to gabbie hanna? youtube, my phone, maybe, but gabbie? thats genuinely why i call these messages amusing because it honestly reminds me of THIS meme

its just a ~vibe~ yanno.

"pls be aware that when experiencing heightened emotions doesn't mean ur reality is heightened too" this is actually something i'd advise to every person who watched gabbie hanna, because they have this warped perception that gabbie is constantly planning this drama everytime she releases an album or song as IF she would want that tied to the album....that doesnt bring in listeners it only creates talk cmon now use ur brainy brains just bc ur emotions are heightened doesnt mean ur reality is

but yeah, thats my update with tumblr! how have you guys been /gen? its been awhile since i've done one of these (four or five years? wowee) and i KNOW tumblr's new "below the cut" update is gonna kill the vibe of this but its whatevs 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ alyssa will talk on.

#//twitter #//gabbie hanna #//drama #what up babe <3 #ask #answered #alyssa talks #alyssa posts

[realcube]

hq!! boys with a short s/o

navi | masterlist | taglist

thanks to anon for this cute request

characters:  kenma, noya, bokuto, & oikawa

trigger warning: swearing, sexual references, 

kenma kuzome 

♡ bc you’re smol you can slip into his lap while he plays on his switch and since he can just peer over your shoulder, he lets you 

♡ also bc you are so - in his own words - compact..he kinda goes a bit rough on you bc he doesn’t know his own strength sometimes

♡ like he comes back from practise - having just bet up lev who’s like double his height, then pretends as though he’s the gentlest, most cuddly guy alive

♡ for instance, if you sit on his lap while he’s doing something important, he’ll push you off but bc he is quite strong and you’re quite small, you literally go flying across the room

♡ he also like the fact that he can place his chin on top of your head while hunched over 

♡ bc his posture is horrible which means that most ppl are up to his nose when he’s standing comfortably (and by comfortably i mean when his back is lookin like the letter c)

♡ but not you though bb

♡ he can rest his chin on your head WHILE messing up his back so thanks 💞

♡ also this is kinda unrelated but he probably enjoys seeing you cosplay as some of his favourite characters that are around your height

♡ idk he just seems like that sorta guy lol

♡ probably likes it when y’all get dirty in cosplay too yk

♡ and he constantly compares you to anime characters/ video game characters then makes comments accordingly lol

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

upon feeling kenma’s eyes momentarily shift from his nintendo switch onto you, your immediate response was to meet his gaze, shooting him a brief smile which quickly fell into frown upon hearing his following statement, “you’re around the same height as meliodas from seven deadly sins.”

you blinked rapidly, about to shrug him off and go back to whatever you were doing under you heard a “disgusting.” slip from his lips..so pounced on him. 

“KENMA! YOU CAN’T JUST CALL ME DISGUSTING BECAUSE I’M A SIMILAR HEIGHT TO AN ANIME CHARACTER YOU DON’T LIKE! DON’T  YOU HAVE AN--” to which kenma will just laugh and pretend like he’s trying to pry you off him when he’s actually really enjoying the feeling of you on top of him.

yū nishinoya

♡ he is the short king™

♡ so he’s honestly so happy that not only does he get to be in the presence of his soulmate, but you’re also shorter than him 😍

♡ and i think having a shorter s/o would really help him with his body image 

♡ sorry to get serious on y’all so quick but i kinda think noya is secretly VERY insecure 

♡ he just has a ‘fake it till you make it’ sort of attitude in regards to his confidence

♡  but having a shorter s/o - especially if you’re really powerful, strong, confident or outspoken - would really give him an ego boost bc not only is he like ‘yep! that’s my star!’ but also everything you do is just so impressive to him

♡ also since you’re around the same height as him, sometimes he forgets that he can’t just jump on you and expect for you to hold his weight like he does with asahi, tanaka, tsukishima etc 

♡ so now you’re always on hyperalert when you pick him up from practise just in case he tackles you to the ground again

♡ it’s happened multiple times even when you were paying close attention though so i’d suggest just wearing a helmet next itme

♡ YJUHGFF he’s definitely the sort of guy to hype you up to his friends after you do the bare minimum

♡ and he ALWAYS mentions your height unless you tell him to stop 

♡ (he just wants his friends to know that just bc they are vertically gifted, they are no better than you or him >:(( keep em humble, yk? ) 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“yep! they’re getting their photo taken at this professional modelling company thingy with all those cool, chunky camera and the bright lights! they’re basically a model- and a few inches smaller than me so, perhaps short is the new sexy.” noya boasted with a casual shrug, feeding off of the amazing looks he was getting from hinata, tanaka and yamaguchi. 

upon noticing that yamaguchi was falling for nishinoya’s exaggerations, tsukishima chimed in, “short is definitely not the new sexy.” and before nishinoya could retort, tsukki hummed, “anyway, model, huh? what brand are they modelling for?”

noya’s lips curled into a bright smile and he clicked his tongue, almost to say ‘glad you asked’, before declaring proudly, “their passport!”

kōtarō bokuto

♡ another one that doesn’t know his own strength 

♡ especially around you 

♡ like he squeezes you SO tight when hugging that you basically suffocate

♡ and his grip on your hand is always unreasonably strong too so never let him hold your dominant hand or else you won’t be able to hold a pencil for another week

♡ and sometimes he pinches your cheek when he thinks you look especially babey and jesus christ he could leave a bruise

♡ god forbid you’re watching him practise and he makes a killer spike then he turns to look at you with starry eyes--

♡ ...

♡ RUN 🏃‍♂️💨

♡ mans will chase you around the whole gym to pick you up and twirl you to celebrate his spike 

♡ the problem occurs when he holds you so close to him that you suffocate from his reek of BO

♡ he spins so fast that it makes you feel extremely sick and dizzy

♡ ALSO let’s not forget that one time he accidently let go of you a few seconds to early and you went fucking flying across the gym and landed on onaga’s water bottle 

♡ not only did you have to awkwardly hobble to the bathroom with soaking wet leggings so you could change into your spare pair, you also felt obliged to buy onaga a new water bottle 

♡ if you tell him to be gentler plz do it nicely or else he will be sad :((

♡ yeah he treats you like you’re his 7″0, ripped, basketball player s/o but you’re not 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

why were you here? why did you think this was a good idea to say yes to? oh, yeah, it because he gave those adorable damn puppy eyes that you are physically incapable of saying no to. on the bright side, perhaps he can use those puppy eyes to get you a free hearse driver for your funeral - which was sure to be soon.

through, your funeral planning was cut sort by bokuto chirping, “are you ready, babe?!” 

you sighed, arms outstretched as he stood with his back facing you, ready to trust fall onto you once you gave the ‘ok’. or so you thought. 

“yeah, bo. go o--” you couldn’t even finish your sentence before you felt bokuto’s muscular back suddenly weigh down on your arm. you tried to hold him up, - you really did - but both the surprise of it and his weight was enough to make you come crashing down with him. 

“(y/n)! you had one job!”

tōru oikawa

♡ you’re his baby

♡ or at least, he treats you like one sometimes

♡ he says he treats you like a prince(ss) but everyone knows that he acts like you’re his first born child

♡ bc he literally carries you everywhere

♡ taking a brisk stroll on the beach? oikawa will force you to get on his back and use the excuse that he doesn’t want your clothes to get dirty 

♡ you’re in the mall and you even suggest that your feet are sore/ you’re tired? he’ll carry you bridal style anywhere you want to go - literally does not care if people are giving him weird looks 

♡ drunk? he’ll throw you over his shoulder and carry you home 

♡ just chilling on the couch? he’ll approach you, scoop you up into his arms and walk around the house 

♡ it annoys you sometimes but it can really come in handy other times

♡ like for instance, at a festival

♡ if you both get stuck at the back and you’re struggling to see the stage bc of all the literal giants looming in front of you, he’ll let you hop on his shoulders 🥺

♡ he probably teases you for it though lol

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“awh, can the small one not see the stage?”

you furrowed your brows, outstretching your arms to him - probably the first time you ever actually asked him to pick you up, so you prayed that he'd take you up on your first offer without you having to beg. “yeah, can you help?”

this oikawa you’re talking to; the petty king. so instead, he gave you some solemn advice before turning his attention back onto the performance, “try growing a few inches-- who am i kidding? a few feet.”

“rude.” you spat, fretfully looking around for a moment before coming to terms with the fact you’re not going to be able to see the performer, so you decided to just try vibe with the music instead.

“(y/n).” you heard oikawa call from beside you, so you turn your head to look at him then noticed that he was crouched on the ground, “what are you waiting for? get on.” 

#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #kenma x y/n #bokuto x you #oikawa toru x reader #nishinoya headcanons #kenma fluff #kenma x reader #bokuto x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa imagine #oikawa x you #oikawa scenarios #nishinoya x y/n #nishinoya scenarios #nishinoya imagine #oikawa fluff #bokuto fluff #bokuto x y/n #bokuto hcs #kenma hcs

[linked-heroes]

Yandere Chain and the New Goddess of Courage

So a week or two ago, I got hit with sudden motivation and inspiration (thanks to posts by the awesome blogs of @luimagines, @yandere-linked-universe, and several ppl who sent things to them!) with a scene from one of my several yandere au ideas! So here is the first part of it! Ofc the wonderful Nordictwin helped me with this. She’s my partner in crime ❤️

Featuring my Oc Navya. (Note that this is a different au from the Usurper Queen piece that @nordictwin wrote for me)

————————

Navya feels herself settle, any doubts washing away at that moment. Sometimes you need moments like this to help accept and come to terms with things.

She is sick, no, she is furious of this little child and her mortal descendants harming, taking, and claiming what was hers.

Mine mine mine

How dare they take what's hers!

Navya breathes in deeply, and then lets it all out. She lets the small little ball of power and energy that has been dormant in her grow and spread out through her being. With slow confident steps, she prowls toward the mortal Hylia.

Kill her, spill her blood

End her reign before it can begin

With a sharp smirk, she speaks.

“Little goddess, do you know my name?”

The spoiled, defiant goddess opens her mouth, but Navya gives her no chance to respond.

“It’s Navya, in honor of the goddess of wisdom, Nayru. Funny, isn’t wisdom supposed to be yours? Yet you seem to lack it entirely.” Navya stops in front of Zelda, Sun, Hylia herself, for a moment before slowly circling her.

It would be so easy, a flick of the wrist and she could end Hylia here and now

Hylia makes a noise of offense “Now see here-!”

Navya continues as if the other woman hadn’t spoken.

“They say I was chosen by all three of the goddesses, and I was. I was named in honor of one goddess, who claimed me as hers. But do you know who it was who actually blessed me? Who, claimed me and in her blessing, declared me her successor? Bestowed upon me her power to inherit and take her place?”

Here Navya stops behind Hylia and turns to face her, to face the group of heroes in front of her, now behind Hylia.

She can see them all, ready to jump in and start fighting if they need to. They keep their eyes mostly on her, but don’t neglect to watch their surroundings for enemies (it breaks her heart to see them all so broken and battle ready, they shouldn’t have to be so watchful. They shouldn’t have to suffer as they have).

How dare they make her heroes suffer.

Navya slowly lets her power build, letting it slowly be felt by others. She can feel it seep into the air, and can feel the changes the magic is doing to her.

She can see the moment that Hylia senses her power, realizes what it is and what it means. The woman’s eyes bulge and she gapes at Navya. Her skin pales drastically before her face turns red and the defiant rage flares back into her.

That’s right child goddess, feel fear

Bow down to your betters

Navya doesn’t fight the cold smirk that slides onto her face.

She leans in and says:

“It was Farore”.

She can see her men, her partners, her heroes, (heroes just like her) all startle and focus all of their attention back to her.

Hylia, as typical of her, throws a fit. “No! You can’t, you have no right to them! They’re mine, I love them!”

Navya glares at the woman who was nothing more than a child.

“I am the heir of Farore, I am the Goddess of Courage. They are my heroes. You have no claim to what is mine little mortal goddess. They are blessed with courage, my courage, and you cannot have them.” She declares, power leaking into her voice and words. “You say you love them, yet all they have had is suffering and loss because of you. They have gained nothing from your so-called love.”

You hurt them!

I will make you suffer!

“They are my heroes! I chose them, I blessed them!” Hylia shrieks, her own power starting to leak out.

They were never yours!

“You condemned and cursed them is what you’ve done! Starting with First! You say you loved him, but he never loved you! You cursed him and part of his soul as he was dying! It brought him back as a deity against his will! And then when he tried to fight it, fight you, you cursed and exiled him into the mask!” Navya snarls, her rage building.

How dare you!

You took him from me!

“You can’t take them from me, You’ve already stolen Sky! And you have no right!” Hylia is shaking in her own anger, her power building and Navya senses it flowing into her hands, and immediately, she knows what Hylia was planning to do.

“They are mine Hylia, and I am theirs.” Navya smirks coldly at the young goddess in front of her and whispers, “and they will always choose me.”

The look of petulant fury bubbling under the surface is unbecoming on an otherwise pretty face. Poor girl, whoever she was before Hylia went and took over, Navya thinks. Sky has spoken of her compassion and sweet nature, but there is nothing of that now.

Instead Navya sees through Farore’s eyes the same brat she dealt with aeons before, acting the exact same way.

Of course it culminates as it always does.

The child lashes out when she can’t have her way, and the slap stings - no, it burns, the little shit had infused it with holy magic - as Hylia’s hand makes contact with her cheek.

Navya’s head snaps to the side and she can feel her skin blistering and bubbling and - fuck it hurts- she doesn’t doubt that there’s a handprint burned into her skin.

Navya sees Hylia raise her hand again, prepared to lash out even more (such a child) when she can’t think of anything else to do. What the goddess doesn’t realize is that Navya let her get the first slap in. Hylia has never been good at seeing the underneath, seeing how to use situations to her advantage. Hylia did exactly what Navya expected and wanted her to do.

So when her holy infused hand flies through the air to strike her again, it’s stopped.

Everything stills, as if time itself has frozen.

It is quiet.

Hylia stares at her, wide-eyed and pale, and by the Ancients, Navya can’t stop the smug, vindictive feeling that bubbles up in her chest when she slowly turns her head up and up and up.

Time smiles down at her, her wrist held in a vice grip that gets tighter… and tighter… and tighter.

Until she’s struggling, crying out in pain and discomfort, trying to reach Time’s hand and make him let go. Until that thin little wrist bends unnaturally, until it cracks like a dry twig and finally breaks and falls over, limp and useless.

Only then does he let go, still smiling, the perfect example of polite professionality.

That is, until he opens the other eye and the expression shifts to something a touch more deadly.

“Raise your hand against her again and it won’t just be your wrist that breaks, milady”.

The silence is deafening, and Navya… oh, Navya knows.

The paradigm - the world as they all know it - is shifting right in front of her, and it is glorious.

(Bells ring from somewhere unseen. A new era is dawning, with someone else in charge).

(She can’t wait to watch it unfold).

#yandere goddess au #yandere linked universe #yandere au #yandere #star writes #oc: navya

[shijiujun]

ZZH + GJ x ELLE TW | Interview (28 April 2021)

Translations for the separate online interview the both of them did with ELLE Taiwan:

Talking to SHL GJ and ZZH | "Life can be simple as long as we do our best in the things we love" - 18 liners fulfilling their dreams

What do ZZH and GJ think of each other?

(1) With ZZH

Since the start of SHL, ZZH's role was set so that he only had three years left to live, hinting at the possible tragic ending early! Invested fans cried a lot & left ‘warning’ messages for the scriptwriter & director: "Even if it's unrealistic you better let him live!"

And when he was free during work the day before, ZZH accepted the online interview and was asked about his ZZS role and he, who usually dotes on his fans, said, "Thanks everyone for affirming/recognizing my acting skills, don't cry!"

ZZH's portrayal/acting was received very well by fans and his dynamic acting skills were revealed in many different directions because of SHL. He was praised to have nine faces, which means that aside from being well-rounded in his portrayal of happiness, anger, sadness, delight and other emotions, ZZH managed to interpret (his role) in a well-rounded way, with just a gaze and how calm he was from head to toe.

Taking on this role in SHL, ZZH says that his heart aches quite a bit for ZZS: "Towards his role, I can't say that I can give him any strength, but what I can do, is quietly feel and understand him."

Talking about his partner Gong Jun, ZZH attributed the success of the show and the efforts put into it to the team, and also praised GJ for being really professional, and fans look forward to be able to see the both of them work tgt in the future.

With a face that's gentle, handsome and has no bad angles, ZZH is most pleased with his defined nose. You may not know this, but in actuality, ZZH is not gentle/quiet at all! He likes to exercise and gym usually, through training, he fills his thoughts with positive energy.

Speaking about his Weibo UN "Crazy ZZH", we can't help but ask, is he a person who goes crazy (I guess, have a lot of fun, party like mad) without limits in private? ZZH says: "I chose this username to reflect a way to live - if I don't go to the extremes I will never accomplish anything.”

"I just feel that the things I'm passionate about I should do my best in them, for example, the craziest might have been when I was in university, I rode my bike solo all the way to Tibet!" He finished the journey step by step and because of this determination, it's reflected in his attitude towards filming & how meticulous he is. A lot of scenes that required fighting, ZZH communicated repeatedly with his teacher while learning and while he injured himself a bit, he said: "We must be responsible towards our roles, this is how an actor should be.”

"Thanks to everyone for recognizing/affirming me (as an actor), we'll continue walking the road together!” 

ZZH who is currently filming for a movie, promises that he'll definitely meet his TWnese fans in the future if given the chance. May 11 is ZZH's birthday and when asked about how he plans to spend his day, he casually says that it's in the planning, and as for birthday wishes, he said without hesitation, "I definitely hope everyone is healthy, and happy everyday!"

(2) With GJ

After SHL was broadcasted everyone fell for it completely, especially for GJ's role WKX. He managed to rank first in terms of entertainment tv influence. While he was free during work, GJ interviewed online and talked about the scene where his hair went white.

GJ: "My heart aches truly for WKX, I know a lot of fans cried because of him, thank you all for liking this show but I still hope everyone spends everyday happily!" 

He says he was once an 18-line actor & only started becoming popular on his 12th show, & thus he always cautions himself to head towards his dream with his feet on the ground, step by step. This special attitude is also reflected in the way he works; no matter the fighting or more dangerous scenes, GJ always does his best: "I don't know how many shows I've filmed! For fighting-related ones, I am thankful to the wushu laoshi and all the staff's guidance/protection, and once again under their training I safely completed this show, showing everyone the best shots!"

Aside from good acting skills, his styling was well-liked by fans especially when he wore that red outfit, he was endlessly charismatic "My fave is also the red outfit, and this outfit is also my most expensive one, hah!"

The rain scene left the greatest impression on him: "SHL is show with the most lines out of all that I've filmed so far; because a lot of WKX's lines are poetry, memorizing them really challenges comprehension and memory power, the toughest one was the rain scene, I have to adjust the emotions of the crying scene while in the rain and there're endless huge lines I have to recite, it definitely is challenging." 

 Those who follow him know that GJ is a simple person in private and in the interview he mentions: The happy thing about work is being able to earn money! Very few artistes can so blatantly say they wanna earn money, and as an employee who is passionate about earning money and finds joy in that, aside from buying a house so his family's quality of living increases, what does he wanna buy?

"I wanna buy a car! I really like cars a lot!" 

 In contrast to his cold, princely image, GJ's straightforward and blunt character has captured the hearts of his fans, especially when he sings in front of everyone unabashedly, taking on the title of "perfect (lack of) pitch", it is very adorable that he is willing to expose his weakness. But altho his singing skills are lacking, there's one skill that GJ has! And that's cooking! Because of the family rules set by his grandpa, the ppl in the kitchen in the Gong family are all the men.

GJ says: "It's true! The women in our family don't have to cook, it's all the men doing it. My grandpa, my dad, are all like that!" 

Basically it's no challenge for GJ to come up with a table of dishes. His signature dish is fish and when asked if his future other half really doesn't have to cook, that it can all be left to him, GJ says warmly, "Of course~" 

 And as a chef, GJ's build is on the taller side, "I really like to eat but I will control my diet. I gym often and try to eat less oily stuff. When I was in uni I was pretty fat, baby fat, but I lost that weight." 

 When asked which part of him he likes the most he says, "Hands! But I like em all! Because my parents gave them to me!" 

 During the interview it is not difficult to feel the deep relationship he has with his fam, especially when we chat about his grandpa. Aside from thanking his fam for the support, GJ is most thankful to his grandpa who has given him positive energy and encouragement until now, the person who he respects the most.

SHL did very well, in private who takes care of each other more btw GJ and ZZH? 

Both of their answers are the same: "In reality we take care of each other, because we're really good friends and in the production group we naturally take care of each other.”

Their chemistry and friendship extends to beyond the show and fans have also made plenty of creative CP works to share, we also anticipate their next work together! 

#shan he ling #word of honor #shl cast #shl #woh #zhang zhehan #gong jun #shl interview #long post #from this #we know that #whoever marries gj is one lucky bij #gj is well aware his hands are like #awesome #zzh as always is someone to look up to HAHAHA

[kbsd]

not sure if you’ve answered this before, but what’s your process look like when you make an amv? i’m just curious and in constant awe of ppl who can make videos like you do :)

hello all!!! i have answered this before and i have a vid help tag with other asks i’ve gotten about stuff like this! but i’ve gotten several more messages along these lines so i’m just going to answer a bunch of them together (under a cut since i love to ramble about editing lol). i do just wanna say i’m definitely not the authority on video editing and obv everyone has their own techniques!

edit: i just finished typing all this up and it’s SO long so sorry in advance LMAO god bless anyone who reads this entire thing

so i work in news tv and we have a very specific workflow for writing scripts, sourcing video, producing, and editing. i’ve just applied that to making amvs! for every video i make, i copy the song lyrics into a google doc and adjust them to match the song i’ve cut (i often will trim songs for time and/or content purposes). then i start planning! i’ll mark down what clip i want to use for each lyric next to that line, and any sound bites i want to use (with episode numbers!). i’ll color code between video and sound bites and lyrics, so my scripts end up looking something like this (for my honeybee amv):

doing the planning ahead of time makes everything much easier when it’s a video that spans the whole show or involves a lot of sourcing, like honeybee or sports analogies. that way when i get to the actual editing process, i already know what i’m going to do and have a game plan. for videos like happy ending or believe it or not, where i’m mainly just pulling from a few episodes, i can just plan it in my head as opposed to writing it all down, and produce as i edit. obviously i do make in-the-moment decisions while editing—sometimes a shot doesn’t work the way i thought it would, or i go where the video takes me—but planning ahead definitely helps. i know some people use spreadsheets as well, with columns for lyrics, video clips, and sound bites if applicable. once you find a system that works, it actually goes pretty quickly.

as for sourcing clips themselves/finding clips within episodes, i talked about that here and kind of here. the short version is that transcripts are a must, and the supernatural wiki is hugely helpful by cataloguing all the hugs, prayers, phone calls, etc. in the show. gifmakers that tag episode numbers on their posts are your friends. it gets easier the more video you make—that’s another huge reason i make the google docs for each video (even the ones i plan in my head, i end up going back and making a loose script with episode notes just for reference). if i can’t remember where something is but i know i used it in another video, i can easily reference past scripts!

i also cut all my videos in the same project in premiere pro, so i can flip between them easily. instead of checking a past script, i can just go to the video sequence itself and copy the clip i’m looking for! this was especially helpful when i match cut together the 5x18 and 4x22 wall slam shots for my bestie video, and then stole it from myself for honeybee hahaha. at any given time i have at least 8 sequences open:

because of the sheer volume of videos i make, it’s worth it for me to download the entire show—i have all 327 episodes in HD, plus deleted scenes. if you think you’re only going to make a few videos, i’d start with scene packs. you can usually just google “destiel [or whatever ship/character you’re looking for] scene packs” and there will be any number of ones you can download. if you need other specific scenes, you can always download/torrent individual episodes or screen record netflix (that’s what i did before i got HD download links). i’m happy to share my links if you DM, but be warned it’s a lot of disk space (about 500GB on my hard drive). someone also compiled every destiel scene, downloadable here.

having every episode already loaded in premiere for all my projects also makes it a lot easier to source clips. once i use a clip in a video, i’ll put a marker on the episode file, so that after a while i have most of the important scenes/lines marked to easily find them. to give you an idea, this is my episode file in premiere for 12x10 lily sunder has some regrets (markers at destiel scenes, the car fight, hot girl cas, etc.). markers are the green tabs along the bottom:

premiere also lets you color code and name markers, so ONE DAY i will go back and color code them all. the ones above are all the same color, but in a perfect world, i’d have a myraid—for destiel shots like hugs, touches, looks; for important pieces of dialogue; for action shots; etc. but for now this works ok for me, so that’s a project for another time!

between detailed scripts, one giant premiere project, markers, the wiki, and my own memory, i have so many points of reference that i can usually find any clip i need in about 2 minutes max. sound bites are often harder to start out, or tiny specific shots i haven’t used before, and that’s when i turn to tumblr gifsets or beloved mutuals to crowdsource. but if you’re as obsessive about marking/keeping neat scripts as i am, it gets easier and easier with every video you make. that’s part of why i’m able to cut videos together so quickly. (also i want to stress i do this for a living and have to produce/edit a new piece for my show every day so i’m used to it. and compared to constantly updating content/sources and news that changes every day, 327 highly documented episodes that never change are much easier to handle hahaha)

this is all great for me since i make so many videos and plan to continue doing so, but if you’re only making a few, this level of work isn’t worth it imo. really it’s all about developing a system that works for you. whatever you do with episodes/sourcing, though, i cannot recommend planning things out in a script ahead of time enough. 

everything i just mentioned is producing, though. for the editing process, i usually do it in this order:

music first. any parts i want to cut, i make sure it all sounds smooth

then soundbites. i usually try to weave them into the lyrics—i have characters talk in breaks between lines or instrumental sections as much as possible. i’ll sometimes go so far as looped/extending an intsrumental part to make room for the soundbite i want there lol. if i do have dialogue over a line, i do the sound mixing/levels at this point as well to make sure everything is audible/one doesn’t overpower the other. (also i always include the video that goes with these bites when i drop them in, and decide later if i want to show the character speaking or have other clips cover the dialogue)

once i have all the audio locked in, then i bring in all my other video clips. sometimes i edit completely chronologically, sometimes jumping from section to section—it depends on the song or how i’m feeling

double check sound mixing. i usually listen to my videos through a few times, with headphones and without to make sure it’ll sound good no matter how people watch it

once i have picture and audio lock, i go through and color correct my clips. i’m basic and just use lumetri color in premiere, and usually just play with brightness, saturation, temperature, and tint until i like it

render and export! :)

i always have several audio tracks, but i try to keep my video tracks condensed. i’ll drop clips on a V2 level, and edit a section there, and drop the whole chunk down to V1 so i know it’s finished. that way when i leave and come back i can know where i left off/what’s done/etc. to give you an idea, this is the timeline for my what the hell video:

i always render as H.264 with high bitrate, and make sure to check “render at maximum depth” and “use maximum render quality” for the best quality. i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the equivalent options are in final cut, imovie, kdenlive, etc. i post on youtube mostly so i don’t have to sacrifice quality, but usually just using a lower bitrate will get you under the tumblr file size limit and it’ll still look good.

as for the anon who asked about “polishing”: first of all, thank you!! second of all, it’s in the details. all of this is a matter of taste and my own insanity, but here are some little things i always try to do:

after i color correct, i blur out any credits from the starts of episodes. i use gaussian blur for this, but really any blur tool works

as much as possible, i avoid clips where we see a character’s mouth move but don’t hear the words. in tv/film we call it “lip flap” and i just think it looks messy. also i’m trained to avoid it at all costs at work hahaha. it’s more for serious videos that this matters a lot to me (e.g. i think i did a really good job eliminating lip flap in my happy ending amv)—for comedy videos i don’t sweat it as much

i put audio fades on the start and end of every single audio clip i use, even if i don’t think i need it, to make sure everything sounds smooth

i use markers for timing, especially in action-y videos like what the hell. i’ll put a marker on the clip i’m using at the exact moment a punch lands, and in the song on the beat. if i have the magnet/snap in timeline tool on i can just easily snap them together instead of having to spend time finagling it

this is such a small thing but i dip/cut to black for a tiny bit at the start and end of every video. this way if i post with tumblr video player, there’s black between the loops, and it gives you a beat before the video restarts. i do this even on videos i post on youtube, just because i think it looks nicer/more professional

this is 1,500 words so i’m going to stop myself before i pull something. if you have follow-up questions feel free to ask and i’ll continue to add them to the vid help tag, but any more questions about sourcing clips or my process in general i’ll just link this post going forward. anyone who made it this far, i am sending to a telepathic kiss. thank you for reading and happy editing!

#i typed this all up at 4am so i'm just scheduling it to post sometime today #ask #vid help