#so ideally like 70 <3 and no more <3

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

The idea of finding a lump in your breast is scary. If this ever happens to you, you may panic and think about cancer - so let’s talk about what to do if this happens. 

It may feel like a hard irregular mass. Or you may feel like there’s a pea or a marble under your skin. Or maybe one area of your breast feels thickened (or just different) from the rest of it. Maybe it isn’t directly a lump but you feel like one breast, or a part of it, changed in size or color, looks dented or looks red/inflamed… in any of these cases, the first step you wanna take is a no-brainer:

You call your doctor, tell them what’s up and ask for an appointment. (This should ideally be a gynecologist, because they’re the experts on breast cancer. But if it’s difficult to get an appointment there or you feel more comfortable going to your primary care doctor, you may also call them first. They will send you on to a gynecologist if they consider it necessary.) 

The most important second step is: calm down. 

At first glance “calm down” may seem like bad advice here. Fear can be a helpful emotion because it motivates you to do the right thing in potential dangerous situations, and worrying about cancer when you find a lump in your breast is a good example for that - you need to worry about it, so you’ll take it seriously and get it checked out! An early diagnosis and quick treatment can save lives. 

But after you already took the right step and called your doctor, when all that’s left to do is waiting for your appointment, panicking is no longer helpful. The best thing you can do now is trying to stay calm and optimistic. Some facts that may help: 

If you are below 40, and especially if you are below 30, remember that breast cancer is considered possible but rare in your age group. (Important: this is not a free pass to just ignore breast changes! Get them checked out anyway! But it can be comforting to know that it’s not statistically likely that you’ll get a cancer diagnosis when getting them checked out.)

Regardless of age, even if you are above 40, know that there are plenty of other, more harmless explanations for breast changes, including lumps. Again, this doesn’t mean “don’t take it serious”, but it’s good to keep in mind while waiting for your doctor appointment: it could be something as simple as natural changes in your hormones (for example related to your period or to menopause), it could be a fibroadenoma (a benign lump that is completely harmless but can be surgically removed if it bothers you), it could be a simple cyst, it could be the result of a small injury you don’t even remember happening, it could even be a skin infection … 

About 20% of all lumps turn out to be cancer. That means that the chances are good that your doctors appointment will bring the relieving news that you don’t have it! Don’t think of it as “I definitely have cancer and need to go to the doctor because of that”, but as “I go to the doctor for peace of mind, to confirm that I do not have cancer”. 

Now you may think “But what if I’m in those 20%?”. Well, in that case, it would still be a good thing that you noticed that lump/change and got it checked out - in early stages, breast cancer is often curable with the right treatment! The sooner you get the diagnosis, the quicker you can start lifesaving treatment. If the cancer is caught and treated in an early stage, your survival chance is pretty high. At stage 1 or 2, almost all patients survive (over 90%)! Even at stage 3, more than 70% survive. So even if your lump turns out to be cancerous, it wouldn’t be an automatic death sentence. 

So, to recap: if it ever happens, take it seriously and call your doctor - but stay calm and optimistic while waiting for your appointment. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

#lgbt #lgbt+

[v4mporino]

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

2. how tall do you wish you were?

3. what color is your hair?

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

5. are you single?

6. has your heart ever been broken?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

8. favorite coping mechanism?

9. whats your favorite love language?

10. how often do you get nervous?

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

13. where do you wish to live?

14. what’s something surprising about you?

15. when did you last shower?

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

19. whats your dream job?

20. whats your ideal date?

21. what do you wish you could do better?

22. what country would you live in if you could?

23. whos the best person you know?

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

25. whats your favorite holiday?

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

28. what are you best at?

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

30. do you have siblings?

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

33. whats your favorite current class?

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

36. do you daydream? what about?

37. where do you go to be alone?

38. which parent do you like more?

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

45. do you prefer book over movie?

46. whats your favorite season?

47. whats your favorite time of day

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

51. do you have your own room?

52. whats your favorite book?

53. who’s someone you hate?

54. whats your best hottake?

55. whats your favorite game?

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

57. are you a morning person?

58. do you drink enough water?

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

62. whats your least favorite game?

63. were you a markiplier fan?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

66. do you believe in marriage?

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

69. were you a voltron stan?

70. whats your favorite ship?

71. whats your favorite song?

72. do you like loud crowds?

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

74. how do you sleep?

75. do you bite your lips?

76. do you use chapstick?

77. do you have any pets?

78. what color are your eyes?

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

84. do you enjoy fast food?

85. do you like soda?

86. what grade are you in?

87. do you wear any jewelry?

88. what socials do you use?

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

91. did you ever have bangs?

92. what trends did you hate?

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

94. do you like dinosaurs?

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

96. whats your least favorite time?

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

99. have you ever been to church?

100. are you lgbtq?

#t4t mlm #gay #lgbtq #ask game #games #ask games #asks #anon asks #question game

[rotandguts]

✶ ┄ YOU WEREN’T MINE TO LOSE

danny (evil dead rise) x fem!reader, 

part one of the ‘august’ series. 

camp map

summary: the first week back at camp is never easy, but it definitely doesn’t help matters that your lifelong rival and ‘mortal enemy’ is there. both picked as camp counsellors, you’re forced to work together for the good of the camp, but that doesn’t mean you have to like each other.

word count: 10k+

content: SUMMER CAMP AU, rivals/enemies to lovers, implications of transphobia, mentions of bullying, slowburn, angst, mentions of alcohol/intoxication/underaged drinking, mentions of sex, mentions of divorce and abandonment, hints of david allen (evil dead 2013) x fem!reader, some people may be quite OOC?

A/N: EEEEEEK, this is going to be a long one but will be split up into chapters. btw i have no clue what danny’s actual last name is so for the sake of this story its bixler bc that's what beth’s confirmed name is okay? I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG LMAO part 2 and 3 will take very long also okay okay i’m so sorry pls enjoyyyyyy xoxo

publishing date ―  july 21st 2023 |  © rotandguts

✶

The winding road on the way to camp was claustrophobic, your first year driving there yourself. You prayed you were still on the right route, your phone’s GPS struggling to update after losing service a while back.

The sight of the endless rows of green trees was becoming redundant, the charm of the wilderness already wearing off on you upon the second hour of your journey. Eyes on the road, you slurped on the blue raspberry Slusho you picked up at a gas stop mid-journey. Savouring the cool syrup induced taste in the summer heat, windows down and car speakers blaring.

A large wooden sign came into view, confirming your path and indicating the end of the long journey. Engraved on the sign was:

CAMP KANDAR

est. 1959

You have gone past this sign every year since you were 8 years old. Initially reluctant to attend, you grew to truly love the place. You giggled at the thought that they almost had to pull you kicking and screaming from the car when you realised you would be remaining there for a little over a month the first ever time you arrived. How times had changed seeing as you were now willingly returning as an adult.

Camp Kandar was just outside Los Angeles, a safe hub to send your kids away to learn what the outside world was like at a reasonable price.

If you imagine what your ideal slasher sleepaway camp would look like from a 70s horror film, Kandar probably looked exactly like it. You were surprised that in all the years of running it no one had actually died there, as far as you were aware anyway.

There were rumours and myths of the camp being built over an ancient castle. Or maybe it was a burial ground? It changed every few years when new counselors got to tell their own version of the myth to the young campers.

This actually would be your first year as a counselor at the camp, it was either this or spending more time slaving away at your job in the local Henrietta’s pizza. You could no longer bare the daily heat and stench of the pizza kitchen, especially during summer.

Hands from distant figures you couldn’t make out waved at you on arrival. Your car finishes its journey in the parking lot beside a Buick Roadsmaster at the child and parent drop off point. You furrow your brows, the campers weren’t meant to arrive for another 2 days.

Exiting the car, you take a moment to breathe in and embrace your new home for the next few weeks, your summer sanctuary for over the past decade greeting you like an old friend. Thick, moist summer sweetness so rife in the air that it makes you feel almost sick to your stomach.

The first thing on your itinerary was to collect your uniform from the camp reception, which you were sure you’d be manning at some point during your time working there. You thought of all the things you’d be able to do now as a counselor, buzzing around the prospect of sneaking out late to whatever party they’d always throw near the old cabin. None of the younger campers were invited, only hearing fabled tales of wild goings on from the distant music and laughter in the night.

Camp director Williams definitely knew about the extracurricular goings on at the camp, and while he took no nonsense, he knew that kids just want to have fun. It’s what made him such a great leader, although the shotgun on the wall above his desk definitely kept campers on edge.

With your case trailing behind you and your backpack hanging casually from your shoulder, you set off towards the camp reception. The building clearly needed a refresher, certain letters in the sign slightly faded due to time and the wood of the steps creaking to a cautious extent under your feet.

Doors swing open, eyes flicker to you. A woman with long red hair stands at the desk with her back to you, obviously in distress talking to director Williams, her arms flailing with hushed whispers.

“Oh great. And you’re here, now. My day just gets better.”

And him.

You turn around and there he is, bags slung on the floor, leaning against the wall with a Nintendo Switch in hand.

Danny Bixler-Sutherland, your worst nightmare.

You had met him that first ever year at camp, becoming close friends after you were assigned to share a bunk. But something shifted in both of you, you were unsure when it all really started. You were both naturally competitive at the group activities from a young age and usually always sorted onto different teams, you always wondered if your competitive playing style drove a wedge in between you both.

Director Williams places a hand on her arm in comfort, “Please, we’ve known each other for how many years now? You know you can call me Ash, Ellie. We can just get bunks sorted for them until moving in day and then sort out proper accommodation. Means they’re not alone in the cabin.” He began to walk towards you, shifting the woman to face you. It was Danny’s mother, Ellie with a striking hair dye job.

Danny had always been in your dormitory growing up, until he came out and his mom fought tooth and nail to get him transferred to the boys dorm. He was popular around camp and people adjusted to the news quickly. But, there were of course a handful of dickheads that treated him like shit because of it. Director Williams put great measures in place to ensure none of them bothered Danny again, some of them being kicked out of camp. You had always wondered if that shotgun had been involved in Williams’ interrogation of them, you hoped it had.

Ever since the summer when the championship was determined to be a tie after you and Danny broke into a fight during the last challenge, you’d been at each other’s necks at almost every possible second.

However, deep down you had an inkling that it all really had something to do with a night that same year, around five or six years ago when a small group of the pre-teen campers, including the both of you, snuck out to camp in the woods.

It had been a largely uneventful night, the excitement in the moment mainly fuelled by the breaking of rules. By the end of the night it had become apparent that despite the bunks in their dorms not being the comfiest, they sure beat the makeshift tents and dusty forest floor.

But the shift in the air was clear. You went into those woods that night, hoping for a last chance of that closeness so present in your youth. By the time you left in the morning and returned to your respective dorms, you barely spoke.

Both of you may have been at each other's necks at the best of times, but insulting each other's appearances or anything personal was a line you both silently agreed to never ever cross. You remembered overhearing bitchy whispers from some of the girls in the cafeteria about him when he first appeared with short hair pre-transition, and you took great pleasure in cutting their hair that night when they were sleeping.

When the girls reported you to the director he had simply shrugged and said, “Talk shit, get hit girls. First rule in the book.”

And it’s not like he wouldn’t do the same for you. Some of the boys had been teasing you, more specifically teasing your figure, behind your back. Low and behold, you had heard that Danny took the charge when standing up for you. It was little things like that that meant you could never truly hate him, and same for him about you.

It was kind of like, the only people that could be mean to you both were the two of you. It was endearing in a way that you would rather die than to admit outloud, a sign of respect from your former friendship.

“Is this a bad time?” You question Danny, feeling like you’ve walked in on something you shouldn’t have but not wanting to pester director Williams until he ends his conversation. “Every place you exist in is a bad time.” Danny remarks, concentration still fully on the games console in front of him.

“That’s a low blow even for you, someone woke up on the wrong side of bed today, Mr Crankypants?” You retaliate, readjusting the weight of your backpack.

“You’re a little too old for camp, scout.” That was his nickname for you ever since you were younger. Without context it seemed almost endearing, but the reality of it drove you crazy.

In an attempt to impress an older counselor years ago, you had told a little white lie that you were a scout with all the training. This was a lie you kept up for almost the full time at camp, and doubled down on it on most days. On a hike, one kid began to have an asthma attack and the responsibility of helping them was promptly put on you by the panicking teen counselor.

Luckily, the kid was completely fine but it became apparent to everyone that you not only were not a scout but had zero knowledge in first aid training. No one had really cared, the counselor got in trouble for their negligence and own lack of first aid knowledge. Everyone went back to their normal jokes the next week after a spot of light torment from your fellow campers.

But you cared. It was just one of those borderline traumatic cringe moments in your life that you wish you could forget. And Danny, who was on the hike that day, knew that.

“Yeah I could say the same to you, DJ Dan.” He grimaced, slamming the console down on the reception desk.

“Jesus H Christ, how many years now with you both and you’re still doing this shit?” Ash wiped his brow of sweat, Ellie’s eyes fluttering between the two of you.

“Hey, Y/N. Good summer?” She smiled. You’d known the woman in passing for the same time you’d known Danny. She had definitely been on the receiving end of many phone calls about your behaviour towards each other, and your perhaps even worse behaviour towards others while acting in defence of one another.

Smiling and nodding back to her, “Yeah great so far, thanks - yours?” Despite trying to keep her smile, for a second her face flickered with something unreadable, Danny nervously shifted, eyes bouncing to his sisters in the corner of the room. They were so quiet you had failed to notice them sitting there.

“Same old, I guess.” Her hands clutching her car keys tighter. “How are your parents?”

If you were being honest, you didn’t know the answer to that.

“They’re fine. Same old, I guess.” You gripped the strap of your backpack a little tighter too. Your parents, while not mega rich, had a good bit of money. Most of your life, you’d spent much of your time without them or with a nanny. Summer was great because it meant going on holiday with them somewhere, anywhere. Until they realised they could hire a nanny in the form of Camp Kandar for the entire summer that was far cheaper and even further away from them.

Ellie politely nodded, before approaching the girls. “It’s just two days extra, right? I’ll be there to pick you all up the first second I can and bring you home.” Bridget nods, the older of the two. Kassie looked pained for a moment. Danny began to walk over, finally leaving his haunt, sitting beside Kassie and holding her small hand in his own.

“But what’s gonna happen? Are we even gonna have a home?” The youngest Bixler sibling clung to a pole with a doll's head stuck on top of it, you elected to ignore it as Ash pulled you to the side.

“Here’s the uniform, good thing you got here when you did ‘cause you and Danny took the last of that size.” Your eyes widened at his statement as Ash continued on. Danny, still holding Kass’ hand, glared at you with a twisted smile.

This confirmed the worst, he wasn’t here for a brief visit to drop off his sisters like you’d prayed, he would be a camp counselor too.

“Rota will get sorted by tonight, but all that’s really needed is some clean up jobs around camp before we open. You’re sharing with Mia in Cabin 13.” Your face lit up. Like Danny, Mia and her older brother David had been attending the camp since you were young. David, being two years older than her, became a counselor when he turned 18. You didn’t know if she would be returning this summer to do the same, the last time you’d texted she seemed reluctant to return.

“Great. Happy to do that.” Danny rolled his eyes at your enthusiasm. “Suck up.” He muttered. You chose to ignore him.

You set off towards Cabin 13, ensuring you got the first pick of the beds.

The cabin itself was small and pokey, compared to some of the other larger counselor cabins which resembled camper quarters with bunks. Considering the added privacy that came with having only one roommate, especially a roommate you were close with, the size of the cabin was fine with you.

When you arrived, you found the cabin cork board already decorated with pictures and the left bed claimed with a sports bag emptied out on the sheets. You couldn’t even waste time being dismayed that you got there second, not when you could hear Mia singing in the shower. You began unpacking everything you could and changing into your new uniform, the faster you got settled in the quicker you could get on with the fun activities.

When Mia had eventually got out of the bathroom, dark long hair damp with her new uniform on (a green and white t-shirt with the camp logo on it), she squealed as soon as she saw you.

Mia Allen was 5’2 and looked probably around 7 pounds soaking wet, give or take. Ever since she was little she’d been much smaller than the others, but what she lacked in size she made up for in her quick wit and snappy attitude.

And plus, it certainly helped that she had an older brother that could only be described as totally swoon worthy.

While at times sardonic and off putting, she was your best friend at the camp and had been for many years. Both of you being placed in the same dorm each year led to a sense of familiarity with you both. You knew each other’s habits better than anyone.

Others viewed her as troubled, with rumours of past years involving her using drugs on camp grounds or going apeshit on other campers - but you knew better. She had experienced her fair share of bad times in her life, mostly as a way of dealing with her sick mom, should she be punished for them forever? You definitely didn’t think so.

“Thank GOD Williams listened to my roomie request, I almost thought I was gonna get stuck with Olivia.” She bounces on you and embraces you within a death grip.

“I thought you and Olivia were friends?” The older girl was a medical student now but still returned each summer to help, she’d hung around you both growing up. She loved to follow the rules, with no exception or nuance to them. However, Olivia was without a doubt the most responsible of all the counselors and it meant the staff didn’t need to train her in first-aid every year.

“Um, yeah, of course we are. But I’d rather choke on my own vomit than have little miss campus police as my bunkmate. She does her own room inspections every week, David says no one even asks her to do them.” Mia rolls her eyes, going over to her bedside cabinet to put some perfume on.

“Fair enough, I’m so happy to see you. I seriously thought I’d be the only one coming back this year.” Running a hand through your hair, you watched her lean into your shared mirror and put on her earrings.

“I know, you need to tell me everything that’s happened since I last saw you. Oh my god, so much shit has happened with my mom it’s fuckin crazy, man.” She began to apply lipgloss. “Tell me about it on the way to initiation, I didn’t realise the time already!” You grab her wrist, pulling her from the cabin.

“Slow the fuck down! Listen, they won’t start without us, and we’re like two minutes away.” Mia halted your speed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

In the distance you could see Danny and some of the others heading towards the campfire area, or as the campers called it, The Pavilion. His head flew back with laughter at something a girl you didn’t recognise said.

“Not you literally gawking at your boy-toy.” Mia murmured, making you turn to look at her with furrowed brows. “What?”

“Yeah, you heard me. And don’t think I’m talking about Eric or Pablo, ‘cause I’m not.” She pulled out a carton of cigarettes from the pocket of her shorts, offering you one. You politely turn it down with a shake of the hand, “Maybe later.”

“This whole uhhhh I hate you so much uhhhhh I hate you too charade is so 2018. Like I wish you’d just give it a rest already and fuck it out.” Mia struggles to keep the cigarette in her mouth as she acts out her impressions of you both before lighting it. You almost choke on her words.

“What the fuck, Mia! Not cool!“

“I am literally right! Don’t think I’ve forgotten that whole truth or dare bullshit from last year.” The smaller girl took a long drag and shifted her weight on her feet, hand resting on a tree beside her.

“You shouldn’t be smoking out in the open like this - at least do it in the cabin with the shower on.” You roll your eyes and begin to power ahead to the Pavilion. “A-HA, don’t try and change the subject with me missy because you know I am not that bitch to be messed with.” Mia begins to chase after you, almost tripping while stealing glances around to make sure no one actually catches her in the act.

“Mia, I think you should quit while you’re ahead. You know my feelings towards that boy and you know none of them are pleasant.” Halting and turning to face her, she does the same with slightly more unbalanced, disjointed movements.

She takes a puff, “Yeah, I thought I knew your feelings. And then you said what you said.” She wasn’t giving up easily.

“I don’t remember what I said.”

“Bull-fucking-shit, this is like pathological liar level. You’re gaslighting me, man!” She waves her arms around manically with wide eyes, obviously trying to tease you. Giving her one last begging look, she stubs the cigarette out. “Fine. But we’re talking about this later.”

With that, she powers on in front of you. It’s as if the nicotine has given her enough energy to run a marathon as she determinedly stomps towards the campfire.

That game of truth or dare had been a drunken mishap at the secret end of year party. You had both managed to score an invite thanks to David, and by association Danny had been invited by Eric. Olivia was too buzzed on wine coolers to feel the need to kick you out, so you managed to spend most of the night there. Mia’s drunk alter-ego ‘the Abomination’ eventually appeared which led to you and David escorting her back to the girls dorm in the early hours.

You had been asked by a drunken Mia, the absolute fucking menace that she was, if you had to spend a night in bed with any of the boys who would it be? Immediately without thinking, in your own intoxicated state, you answered Danny.

Before you could even realise the deeper implications of the question, you immediately attempted to justify your answer by stating that you had shared a bunk for years and didn’t kill each other during that time.

She had teased you in front of the entire group, in your own state of embarrassment you had failed to notice Danny’s wide eyes and rosy cheeks.

But the teasing was over quickly with Mia throwing her entire guts up in front of everyone, leading David to jump back onto his feet and promptly drag her from the scene, requesting that you help carry her legs.

What you’d failed to tell Mia, tell anyone for that matter, is that despite your answer to her question, you and David shared a kiss.

It was behind the cabin after you both dragged her back in her drunken state, you hoped all its occupants would be sound asleep. He’d looked at you with a glimmer in his eye, his testing patience, seeing who would make the first move.

Both of you had been dangerously towing a flirtatious line all summer, a line that you’d been tiptoeing on for probably the past nine years prior.

It had never ever been a possibility before, you were his kid sister’s best friend. You were just you. But here he was looking at you like that.

Do you regret it in hindsight? Sure, but you hardly remember it. Your heart was beating so fast you thought it might break out of your chest like that little creature from Alien. The moist summer air of the early morning clinging to your skin, a strong hand on the low of your back. Pressed tight chest to chest, a forbidden taste.

You jumped apart at the sound of the snapping of sticks by god knows what.

You parted with wide eyes and uncertainty rising in your chest. He placed a gentle hand on your cheek.

“I’ll speak to you tomorrow, yeah?” You nodded, a smile growing. The start of something new blossoming.

David and Mia were gone by the time you woke up, you had assumed David had driven them off specifically so you both didn’t need to address any drunken awkwardness from the previous night. Mia wouldn’t have opposed, with her hangover probably kicking in tenfold.

All that was left in his departure was a letter saying that he’d see you next summer and that you should call him when you got home if you wanted to pick up where you left off, with a phone number left under the statement. You text the number, leaving him with a message.

hey david,

last night was a mistake. it was a plain and simple heat of the moment mistake - as much as I’d like to start again, i can’t do that to mia.

You sent ‘i’m sorry.’ when you didn’t receive a reply after a month.

Quite frankly, you were dreading seeing him far more than Danny. With Danny at least, you knew that whatever you had said last year had gone right past his head (or atleast you thought it had). Danny wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to make you squirm, surely?

Honestly, now that you had been able to think it through - you wouldn’t be opposed to starting where you left off with David, the whole him being your friend’s brother thing aside. He was handsome, kind, and popular around camp. He’d looked out for you since, like, forever and you trusted him. If you were searching for a summer fling David would certainly be your go-to.

But whatever. If nothing happened, nothing happened, especially after the text you sent him. You could play this totally cool, right? It was just David. Stupidly hot David, with his constant tan and his almost annoyingly unwavering warm demeanour. You still remembered the first time you saw that smile. You were eight and he was ten, you fell down and scraped your knee during a group activity. He ran to you before any counsellors could even get to you.

“You’re okay.” A hand reached out, you grabbed it. And there was that smile. A smile you could trust. Yeah, maybe you were gonna be okay.

It was undeniable how he made you feel. Your legs turned to jelly everytime you laid eyes on him, you felt like such a ditz. But the presence of Mia complicated everything. You couldn’t do that to her. It would be too weird. Unless, you kept it a secret? A secret summer fling could be exactly what you need. Why did you have to send that damn text?

But then ultimately, he was just safe. Despite his attractiveness, all of the passion of the fling would be mostly fuelled by his relation to Mia, and if you’re being honest that was a line you did not want to cross with her. If she even found out that you both had kissed it’d be game over.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Mia calling your name.

“Are you even listening? Wait up, I have little legs!” She was significantly behind you now, struggling to keep up with your pace as you unconsciously powered ahead in front of her. “Sorry Mia, my inner volume was too loud, I guess.”

She squints, smirks before tapping your arm. “Yeah and we all know exactly who you’re thinking about.” Your eyes widen.

“Dann-”

“No.”

Barging past her again, the Pavilion now in sight, both of you being the only two left to arrive.

While the overall area has rows of structured seating comparable to wooden bleachers facing a stage, for more intimate occasions such as this there were stools placed closer to the stage.

“Fashionably late as always, you too. First strike.” Ash attempted to chase away flies with his prosthetic hand, shooting her a stern look. “Hey- what the hell? What happened to a friendly camper hello?” She resigned herself to the first tree stump available in front of you, beside her brother. You could only see his back and still you could feel the butterflies going wild inside you.

“You forfeit that when you come back here as a counselor. You’re being paid for this, this is a job. Stay. On. Time.” You swallow, taking the seat near Danny. He’s whispering something to Eric, but your eyes still meet.

Neither of you break but both of you wonder who will be the first to.

You pick up on things that have changed since last summer. His hair, chestnut again after a brief bleach blonde stint. You didn’t know what he suited more, you liked both.

You almost mentally slapped yourself for thinking that. But it was hard to not think how actually kinda attractive Danny was in staring competition moments like this. His eyes had such a mischievous glint in them that begged you for more, egged you on like what you were doing was so, so wrong.

Your cheeks grow heated and you can’t bare to stare any longer, losing the silent game.

“Okay, Bridget and Kassie will be staying here with us a few days early. That’s okay. Just make sure you’re on best behaviour at all time big kids, make sure you’re doing your job and looking after the little ones.” Bridget rolls her eyes at his words. She’s fifteen and thinks she can take on the world single handedly. Kassie looks a little less sure, resigning herself to staring at the ground and kicking some wood chippings at her feet.

“Cheryl, you wanna take it from here?” Director Williams turns to his sister, who appears by his side. “Sure thing, I’ve sorted the camp rota.”

You glance back at Danny, his eyes still on you. He smirks. You feel like you’re on fire. Turning away from him again to look where you had been so desperately avoiding, you see David glance at you. He smiles softly when he realises you’ve caught him, sending a slight wave. You don’t hesitate to return it, hearing a Danny sounding scoff coming from the opposite direction.

Cheryl goes over your duties for the next few weeks, you’re placed in arts and crafts with Mia and Danny. And a new girl who’d never attended this camp prior, Natalie. You assumed it was the girl walking with Danny earlier, now sitting timidly beside Eric.

Great.

Mia you could handle, and you could probably even handle Danny alone too. But Mia’s unrelenting urge to tease you for your misspoken words and Danny’s eyes that seemingly bore into your soul at every chance was going to be a challenge in combination.

Your face must’ve immediately read your exasperation, as Cheryl reassured “Don’t worry, usually it’ll just be two of you in for activities. You guys will be mixed and matched.” Your shoulders sunk in relief, not even realising how tense you had suddenly become.

Your ear is met with the soft whisper of Danny. “Don’t look too excited.”

“Bite me.” You hiss back, he grins with wild eyes, like he enjoys the way you’re speaking to him.

“Hey assholes! And I can call you that now because you’re adults. I better see no fighting, no nothing, or else this year - got it?” More Ash than director Williams warns, you nod.

“I’ll try sir, but she’s the issue.” The boy points at you, false sincerity in his voice. You bite your tongue, giving Ash a look that portrays your frustration.

“Whatever. Seriously, I’m watching you two.” Ash points at the both of you, Danny rolls his eyes. Eric and Mia make a quiet ‘ooooooooh’ noise and then laugh at their accidental timing.

Eric was the same age as David, and his childhood best friend, although you had noticed that they had drifted apart. He was as sarcastic as they come, but knew when to shut up and be serious. He’d been growing out his hair for the past few summers, it now resting just at his collarbone.

He’d taken Danny under his wing when he got moved to the boy’s dorm, it was common that one would be seen the other around camp.

After a few more ground rules were laid out, Ash reminded you that you are now the adults in charge and that any responsibility will be put on you.

“Oh and by the way. This is Natalie, she’s new. I know you all grew up together but please make her feel welcome, yeah?” Cheryl put her hand on the girl’s shoulder, Natalie waving timidly.

She was so effortlessly pretty you didn’t know if you wanted to cry or roll your eyes.

With that, you were free to spend the last night free before your jobs started the next day. As everyone was departing, you notice David eyeing the new girl, who stands like a spare prick as Cheryl inaudibly talks to her. He leaves with Pablo and Olivia after taking a second glance.

There’s those damn butterflies again.

Mia wraps an arm around you and drags you in the opposite direction, heading to your own cabin. You pass Danny, who winks before sending you a sarcastic kiss. You respond with a middle finger.

—

The first few days go smoothly, managing to stay out of any drama. Everyone is seemingly too tired to really interact with each other outside of your shared meals in the mess hall, all of you still adjusting to being in a foreign home.

Drop off day was longer and more tedious than the previous days, an earlier rise than the already early mornings at Camp Kandar. Buses filling the parking lot, hurried parents ushering kids out of cars, kisses goodbye. A floury of campers old and new dragging their luggage behind them in the chaos of sorting cabins. Camp reception was even more packed than before with parents handing off medication and bus drivers piling up all the forgotten items from their respective vehicles.

When the kids arrived, you were kind of ecstatic, seeing everybody arrive from a different angle than you ever had before, remembering how nervous you had been each year on drop-off day.

The camp entrance itself, aside from the parking lot and reception, welcomed campers in with a large arch that displayed the camp’s name proudly. From here, past the reception, led to a large open ground shaped in a circle.

If you kept walking straight, the mess hall was in front with extra benches set up outside for the good weather. To the left, through the trees were the camper dorms. Scattered throughout the many acres, it was common for the little ones to get lost.

Just beyond that were the staff and counselor cabins, with Ash’s being the furthest out of them all. On the opposite end of the camp was the activity field and the lake. It was pretty simple to get around, but the prospect of getting lost in the surrounding woods was intimidating.

Bridget ran towards a group of teens, who welcomed her with open arms. It was odd to think that in a few years they potentially would be the camp counsellors, and you and your peers would be off in the world doing all types of grown up shit. Goodbye adolescence forever.

Your heart dropped when you saw Kassie standing to the side awkwardly, clutching her stick with the doll head on it. For the past few days she had kind of kept to herself while Bridget had helped with the bigger jobs setting up camp. Slowly approaching her, you decided to strike up a conversation.

“Cool doll, what’s it’s name?” You gently poked it, her face lighting up at someone talking to her. Because she was little, it was hard for her to be included like her older sister aside from odd jobs Ash would send her on. Things like sending her to the Pavilion to find the biggest pine cone, or seeing how many laps she could do around the activity grounds.

“Staffanie. I made her, so she can protect me, and scare off anything scary in the woods. Danny says there’s monsters here.” Kassie explains timidly, a shy smile growing slowly.

“She’s cool, hiya Staffanie.” You return the smile, she waves the doll head as if to make her say hello.

“She says hello back.” After a nice lull, she turns to watch a group of kids her own age stand and talk to each other, obviously knowing each other outside of camp.

“I was really scared my first year here too.” You bend down to get to her level. “Really?”

“Yeah, really, it was super hard at first. But then I met Mia and it was all okay.” The little girl looks doubtful. “I don’t know, I think people think I’m weird.”

“Well that makes two of us kiddo. Listen, you’ve got Danny and Bridget to help you out,” Before you can finish she interjects. “That doesn’t count, they're related to me.”

She was right technically. “Yeah, but they’re not required to be nice to you, are they? David and Mia are related and they barely hang out.” You point towards them, on opposite sides of the area, David calming down a crying mother clutching onto her uninterested child. Mia was poking the ground with a stick.

“I guess.” Kassie was still hesitant, head racing with thoughts of what was really going on back home. Her mom thought she’d done enough to protect her from the startling reality of the impending divorce, and in a way she had. Kassie was sure that everything would be fine between her parents, only really worrying about losing their family home.

But even the thought of being at this camp, making no friends and then coming back to nothing was terrifying to the young girl. And it was a reality that a girl her age shouldn’t have to face.

“Kassie, I’m gonna be brutally honest with you. I think you’re gonna have the best summer ever.”

After a moment, Kassie turned with a smile. “You really think so?” You couldn’t help but return it. “I know so, pal.”

It was harrowing, it was like seeing your younger self in a way. Coming here was no easy feat. Sure, the activities were nice and you settled in eventually, but that scary feeling doesn’t really go away even after all these years.

“I’m Kassie, by the way.”

“I’m Y/N.”

Her face lit up. “Wait, I know who you are!”

“Well we have spent the last few days together so I did hope that you would have known my name by now honestly-”

“You’re the girl Danny always talks about! You’re his friend!” Kassie kind of bounces around, her new found enthusiasm infectious but her statement alarming. Not wanting to burst her bubble after seeing her so gloom for the past few days, with a stiff smile you offer a nod.

“I remember all the stories from when you used to share a bunk! Wow, I hope I get a bunk mate just like you!” You aren’t quite sure what she’s talking about, as most of your time bunking with Danny involved arguing about his snoring and your constant shifting above him.

“Yeah, fingers crossed.” You mimicked your own words, she copied you.

“And I can teach them the secret bunk code that you taught Danny, ‘cause Danny taught me!” A stab in the heart. You’d forgotten about that.

You developed a quiet knocking, humming and scraping system to have conversations with each other. It’d been one of those silly kid things you just stop thinking about when you have your first kiss or learn to drive. You can’t really even remember what you used to talk about in the quiet moments of the night when you weren’t bickering.

“We taught each other, just like you and your bunk mate will make up new words. Just go with the flow and you’ll have a great time.”

Kassie nods, more than cheered up from the conversation. “I’ll remember that. Gosh, I hope I get put on your team for the games!”

“Yeah, me too kiddo.” A girl around Kassie’s age stands alone at the drop off point just beyond the arch of Camp Kandar. Her eyes scan the scene in front of her, campers overwhelmingly conversing in their individual cliques. Nudging Kassie, you point in her direction.

“Why not go say hi to her? I think it might be her first day too.” The youngest Bixler-Sutherland sibling nods, and takes a deep breath.

“Kass, if it doesn’t go well I’m right here.” You crouch to her level, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. You knew exactly what she was thinking right now, as if this one interaction would determine her ability to make friends this summer.

With one last optimistic look, she trots off with Staffanie in tow.

“You givin’ my sister your shitty advice?” Danny’s voice catches you off guard, him appearing behind you as you watch Kassie from afar.

“Better than anything you’ve offered her the past few days clearly.” You don’t bother to turn to look at him, but you can feel his chin almost hovering in the crook of your left shoulder. His body, while not at all touching yours, feels close.

“Ouch, scout. And here I thought you were giving me flirty eyes at the first meeting the other day.”

“You fucking wish, Bixler.” He seems unfazed at your use of only one of his last names. In the distance, Kassie seemed to be explaining Staffanie to the other girl, who giggled and pet the doll head awkwardly.

Turning your head to face him, you’re almost caught off guard at how close he is.

“Kassie was talking about all the stories you’ve been telling about me.” His eyes flash with alarm for a moment, you have to stop yourself from laughing at the sight. Danny’s attempt to catch you off guard disrupted by your own secret weapon.

“Just the shit from when we were kids, before you become an intolerable bitch.” He stepped back, strutting in front of you.

“Well atleast I’m a bitch and not a complete moron, like you.” He sucks in a breath and scoffs. “This moron’s gonna beat your ass in the challenge teams this year.”

“Not if we’re on the same team, dipshit.”

“Pablo told Eric who told me that you’re in red team. I’m blue team, scout.” He circles you like a shark smelling blood for the first time, your eyes stay trained on him.

“How the fuck does Pablo know? Why would director Williams or Cheryl put us on opposite teams? Isn’t that just begging for trouble?” Your hands raise to rest on your hips, fists clenching.

“‘Cause maybe Pablo’s tight with Ash and Ash sorts the teams ‘cause Cheryl does rota. I was in red team but Eric asked to swap places and I said yes so I could be on the opposite team from you.” This bastard, always testing you. Always looking for a fight. Always needing to win.

“Why the fuck would you do that?” Knuckles white, this was all going to backfire on you specifically.

His taunting grin begged you to lose your temper.

“‘Cause it makes us better. Why be just good at working together when we could be even better tearing each other apart?” There was that closeness thing again, him getting up in your personal space. This was all a stupid intimidation tactic and you weren’t going to let it slide.

“When director Williams calls it out he won’t let you switch, even if Eric asks.” Something was going on here, more than what he was letting on. His eyes take a dangerous glance at your lips, he was playing dirty.

It wasn’t like you thought of him in that way anyway, nor he with you surely. Ultimately, he infuriated you.

Though, anyone would admit he was in great shape. Chiselled jawline and soft blue eyes that would make anyone swoon. He was attractive and you had shared a bunk with him, it was inevitable you would potentially form a deep attachment to him, you supposed. It’s definitely not like you had thought about him in the heat of the night in the safety of your own room, miles and miles away from camp. It was a hundred percent not like you had ever, ever replayed your most heated debates in your head, thinking about how breathless he could make you feel.

Fuck Danny Bixler-Sutherland.

“Don’t be so sure, they can’t reject a team transfer as long as someone on the other team volunteers a switch, it's against camp rules.” He backed away, hands held up in surrender. That stupid fuckin grin still on his mouth.

“Plus, Mia would be a far better teammate than you.” And with that he leaves you.

You couldn’t get his words out of your head.

What the fuck was he planning? Would Eric stoop so low to be involved in some stupid plot to have you guys in prime fighting positions? What was he getting out of this?

Stumbling across the sea of new campers to get to Mia, a plan quickly trying to form in your head.

“Mia, I need to call in a favour.” She dropped the stick at the mention of her name, pretending that she had actually been busy the full time.

“Fuck no, baby.”

“Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?” Mia crossed her arms. “What is it?”

“You need to swap teams with me.”

“How do you know we’re on opposite teams?” Her position unchanging, eyes burning into your soul as if you were breaking the rules somehow.

“Danny might’ve let something slip, he’s in my team and wants to change with Eric so we can be competing, but I don’t wanna do that.” She glances over your shoulder at Danny’s current location, beginning to guide the campers to their assigned cabins.

“How does he know this?” You roll your eyes, scratching your forehead. “It’s a long story, but please Mia, I’m begging you - I need to beat him at his own game.”

Mia stands for a moment, watching the boy, before smiling and looking back at you.

“This is ‘cause you wanna spend more time with him isn’t it?”

“Whatever the fuck helps you sleep at night.” You cannot let her win this foolish debate she’s created in her head.

“Sure thing, I’ll swap I guess.”

—

You had completely zoned out of the induction campfire ceremony. It’s mandatory every year anyway, aimed at the campers specifically. You weren’t missing much. This team shit was driving you crazy, as soon as Ash coughed up that it was time for the counselor sorting ceremony you shot upright. Across the seating area you could see Eric nudge Danny, who barely acknowledged him.

“Okay guys, team red. Okay people here we go. Olivia, Y/N-”

“I wanna swap teams.” You stood up.

Some of the campers ooooooed at your exclamation, Olivia scoffed. “What’s so bad about my team?” You turned to her, apology written all over your face.

You couldn’t swap if you didn’t have someone to swap with, you knew this. But if Mia came in clutch then you also knew that Eric wanted to be on the red team for some reason, so no matter what he would swap with Danny.

“We’ve not even finished reading out the rest of your teammates.” Director Williams answers with an irritated tone, and honestly, rightfully so. You were being difficult.

“Blue is usually my team, c’mon Williams we know this.” Much to his chagrin, you are right. “Well, seeing as we’ve not even called out blue team members, how is anyone gonna swap with you?” All eyes on you, intimidating you more than you cared to admit.

Luckily, Mia came right to your rescue.

“I’ll swap with her.” She stands proud, like she’s testifying to the court.

The fingers on his prosthetic hand scratch his nose, for a second you wonder how it would feel to have such an appendage. His hand had been gone longer than you’d been alive apparently, the camp legend was that it got torn off by a bear in the camp outskirts when Ash was a counselor here himself.

“How the hell did you know you were on the other team?”

“Last year you warned us we spoke too much when we’re together at these things, I thought this year you’d want to keep us separated.” Mia’s excuse didn’t really make any sense, seeing as he had allowed them to share a cabin, but she was right in saying that when they were partnered up they did not shut the fuck up. “Red’s more my color anyway.”

The older man shrugged. “Swap accepted, I suppose.

That was that.

“Shall we continue? Okay, red team. Olivia, Mia, Danny, Sheila and Eric. C’mere.”

Your heart dropped.

What the actual fuck.

Even Mia turned to you in confusion as she began to walk down to the stage with the rest of her team.

Danny must have known all along that Eric wasn’t actually going to swap, he’d done this to throw you off his trail. If anything happens between you two it’s your fault for the switch over now.

But why? Why was he so desperate to manipulate you like that? If it had gone wrong at any point, if you had chosen to stay on the team, who would he have swapped with? Maybe Pedro was in on it too, but looking at him now he seemed even more zoned out than you were.

Danny’s eyes found yours in the crowd, you were instantly reminded of all the other types of shit like this he’d pulled in the years prior. You felt like a total idiot for causing a scene, tears threatening to fall.

“Blue team, let’s go! David, Y/N, Pedro, Natalie and Kelly.”

David. He’d completely slipped your mind.

Fuck this shit.

You couldn’t even turn to look at Danny through the rest of the sorting of the teams, not able to face his stupid smug face that you knew would be looking at you. Why did he have to be such a headfuck all the time?

The full thing kept playing on your mind even when you were back in your cabin with Mia. She was smoking a cigarette, leaning out of the bathroom window. Head in your hands, you sat on the closed lid of the toilet.

“Thank fuck we have our own toilets now, jesus, could you imagine only being able to use the fuckin shared one?”

“We still have to clean all the cubicles when it’s our shift, a private toilet just adds one more toilet onto that.”

She inhales the cigarette for a moment, letting it hit her lungs. Even with the window open it still stunk.

“Yeah, but like atleast it’s our toilet. I’d happily clean your piss on the daily over the combined piss of like 60 something kids.” Mia looks different with the moonlight on her face. Her eyes, kind of buggish normally, seem even bigger. Sometimes she looks like a different person, you think.

“From everything I know, I really thought he liked you.” She murmured, flicking the butt out the window when she finished. “I tried to warn you.” You look at her through your hands. She sinks down onto the tiled floor of the shower.

“Just so weird, right? Like what could he have gotten out of that?” Mia stares off to a point in the corner of the room, in contemplation. “I don’t even get why you don’t like each other. You both used to get along so well.”

You’d heard it all before, and your constant avoidance of the question came from the fact that quite honestly you didn’t even know how to answer it.

“All I know is that I’m gonna get him back tenfold.”

She smirks at you. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

—

For your arts and crafts block that week, you’d been assigned with Natalie. She was nice enough, kind of quiet but sweet with the kids. She’d spent most of her time asking you where things were. As far as you could tell, she was older. Probably not by much, at least around the same age as Olivia, David and Eric. She was from Salt Lake City, which you thought was a little far to come all the way to camp, but you didn’t judge her too much for it. It’s good to get away from home sometimes.

Kassie had indeed been placed on your team. Telling her that you were confident that with her and Staffanie on the team, you’d beat anything her brother threw at you both earned a giggle from her.

Another surprise was Bridget being placed on your team. She kept to herself or her friends mostly, but was more outspoken than a lot of the other teens.

Bridget had been attending camp the past few years since she turned 8, so you were more familiar with her than Kassie. In saying that, the age gap did mean that neither of you had really spoken to each other, especially as you weren’t a counselor before.

Each week, the teams would participate in challenges. Kids would file into the pavilion in their respective team colours, carrying makeshift posters and signs they had made during arts and crafts.

Waves of red and blue lining the wooden bleachers, allowing you to zone out while Danny lingered in your line of vision.

A soft hand to the low of your back, you jump. David waits with a smile and a water bottle on offer.

“Hey.” You soften, tucking a loose hair behind your ear.

“Hey, barely got a chance to catch up with you

since we got here. How you doing, kiddo?” The hand moves to your shoulder, a tinge of disappointment rushing through you. Another nickname, albeit a well meaning one, but one you still held in disdain.

“Not too bad, I've been busy keeping your sister out of trouble.” He chuckles, the famous David Allen smile appears. “I don’t know what she’d do without you.”

An earnest pause, but also a dangerous one.

“Listen David-“

“About last summer-“ Interrupting each other before either could make their point, and yet both so obviously on the same wavelength. The kiss.

“You go first.” His arms fold in a polite defeat. God, the bastard just oozed charm.

“Just wanted to address what happened last summer, between us. Just incase you felt uneasy or something it doesn’t have to be anything big if you don’t want it to be.” Heat rising in your chest, you felt like a stupid idiot with a school girl crush.

As if he could read your own thoughts, David placed his hand on your forearm. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Danny lingered from afar, no stranger to the occasional glance your way. He almost scowled when he saw your company.

You wanted to mention the text, you wanted to ask why he never said anything. Why he didn’t reply. But David simply rubbed your arm, “We don’t need to talk about it.”

A sigh escapes your lips, one you hadn’t even realised you were holding in. “Cool.”

The first challenge passes by fairly simply, despite Danny’s obvious attempts to wind you up. He was a competitive fucker, that’s for sure.

Team Blue manages to take the win for the night, with the kids chanting David’s name. He runs up to you, sweating profusely and yet managing to effortlessly appear like he was a vampire from Twilight instead of someone who just won a game of dodgeball.

“Great work kiddo, my second in command.” A grin appears, one that you can’t help but mimic knowing finewell that you spent the full game preoccupied with Danny.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Eric nudge Mia with a smug smile and whispered in her ear. She looked at you immediately and grinned, the worried pit immediately returned in your stomach.

She skips towards you, with Eric retreating to Danny who stands on the sidelines looking a bit misplaced.

“Guess who’s going to a party tonight?” Mia offers you two thumbs up and does a shuffling dance, that only manages to kick up dirt and makes you cough.

“The Abomination?”

“Okay, fuck you. Us! They’re having a party outside the woods. Dude, our own counselor party!” It had been something you’d spoken about for years, but you felt the effect had been lessened after last year's antics.

“I don’t know, Mia. I want to take this next challenge seriously and-”

“And what? All the tension from today will mean nothing when we’ll all be hungover tomorrow, group bonding?” You tried to find another excuse. “What about the kids?”

“Girl, fuck the kids! I want to party.” All you could do was answer with an awkward shrug, which she took for total defeat.

“YAAAAY. Okay, quick, we have like 2 hours to get ready-” Mia grabs your wrist and pulls you in the direction of your cabin, Danny standing on the hill watching you as you go by. If you weren’t so nervous about the prospect of being at the party with David and trying to listen to Mia, you’d think he was checking you out.

“You better be there, Scout!” Eric calls after you both as you pass, Danny’s head dipping beside him seemingly finding the ground extremely interesting right now. “Suck my ass, Eric!” He howled in response, earning a fit of laughter from you and Mia.

—

The winding path, illuminated with random lanterns left by partying campers long ago, seemed to go on forever. The prospect of getting absolutely shit faced at the end of the trail after a long week of ensuring the safety of screaming kids, patching up old equiptment and cleaning up actual shit was what kept the counsellors of Camp Kandar going.

The transition between the July weather and August’s own was usually indistinguishable, but tonight was particularly breezy. Regardless, the blazing campfire your colleagues crowded around gave a small amount of relief.

Cheap bottles of liquor and red solo cups, firebright light and wine coolers left discarded on the forest floor in favour of roaming hands on dancing teens. There was almost something melancholic about it all, one day they’d well and truly grow out of this forever. The fleeting fun of camp summer, the spontaneity of beers in the woods on a lukewarm summer night.

David strummed lazily on a dark cherry coloured guitar, you almost wanted to roll your eyes at how it looked like he’d stepped right out of a young adult rom com.

“I don’t get what you see in him.” Danny appears, housing a beer you can’t quite decipher the brand name of. You can feel his judgement despite his eyes also watching the older boy at the other side of the fire, unaware to his dueling voyeurs.

“What are you talking about?” He licked his lips, letting out a scoffing almost laugh at your reply.

“You never suited acting stupid, Scout. But then again, are as predictable as a Chainsmokers song.”

Fingers clenching around your cup filled with god knows what, how dare he? It took everything you had in you to show restraint and now throw its contains over his loose fitting tank top and cargo shorts. He was dressed like every female gaze dream skater boy forever immortalised on countless Pinterest boards - and yet you were the predictable one apparently.

“Why do you have to be such a fucking dick all of the goddamned time? You’re insane.”

“I’m not the one sleeping with my best friend’s brother.” Wide eyes snap to his, still burning holes into David’s skull across the fire with a tinge of unnoticed envy.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” The clench around the red cup switches from anger to fear. He could always read her better than anyone. He finally looks at you, his blue eyes somehow welcome despite the venom you shot at each other. A pit in your stomach started to burn as if someone was inside digging it themself.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be getting this reaction. All I’ll say is don’t waste your time on him.” You could feel your eyes roll back, here he was backtracking trying to act like he was helping you again. No way were you falling for it again.

“I can spend time with whoever I want to. You’re just jealous that without alcohol I can’t hang around you without social distancing myself at all times.” You down the rest of your cup, just trying to keep your shaking hands preoccupied.

He shrugs. “Maybe I am.” His gaze shifts back to the rim of the beer. He contemplates copying your action and downing it as well. “Or maybe I just don’t give a shit ‘cuz I won’t even be around to see the fallout when you fuck it all up next year.”

Your turn to look at the boy again, taking in his frame for a moment. His hunched demeanour doesn’t read like he’s telling a joke or trying to wind you up.

“W-what?”

“Yeah, this is my last year. My parents are getting a divorce and my mom can’t afford to take us here anymore. And everything that was saved for my collage fund is getting put into the divorce. Surprise!” Danny uncannily laughs, clearly highlighting just how rotten the situation is.

“And it’s so fucked because we’re moving away and Bridge and Kass are leaving their entire lives behind and they’ll never get to experience this and they barely even know that we’re never going home again and it’s all just so so fucked-”

“Danny…. I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, why the fuck would you I don’t even know why I’m telling you this-” He starts to dab at his eyes and make a hurried exit before you reach out and grab his wrist.

When you look into his eyes you see that same boy from the first year you bunked together. The boy that was scared of the dark, the boy that was chatty and so eager to be outdoors yet scared of the wilderness. You see little Danny, all alone in the big bad scary world with no parents to really protect him, as much as his mom was trying. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. You never knew he was going through anything this serious.

“Wanna go on a walk right now?”

You expect him to tell you to fuck off and storm away, or cast some snarky remark about David. He just nods slowly. “Let me just tell Eric where I’m going.”

“Cool, I’ll get you at the carving tree.” He kind of fumbles a nod and scurries to find the older boy.

You turn and David is behind you like a jumpscare, you’re unable to hide a yelp. He laughs and places a hand on your forearm, you grow tense - mind too preoccupied with Danny. “Everything okay? I know you and Bixler are kind of neck and neck, I’d hate for him to spoil the party for you.”

Glancing back at the blonde boy as he searches for Eric, a tinge of guilt pierces through. “It’s fine, I can handle him.

“Well if you ever wanted me to say anything to him, let me know.” He shrugged, guitar still resting over him.

“I actually had something to ask you.” The liquid courage was saying it was now or never, and if it all went wrong you could escape into the woods with Danny who would probably be feeling even worse than you.

“Uh-huh?”

Here goes nothing.

“Today, when you said we shouldn’t talk about the kiss or whatever. I just wanted to ask what changed your mind after you left that note on my pillow?” David’s face is unreadable.

“What?”

“And yeah, I’m sorry if the text I sent was brutal and I won’t lie and say I’ve not thought about the kiss a lot. But I don’t know man, just help me here.” It almost sounds like a rant as the words escape your mouth, David raising an eyebrow in retaliation.

“Well I’ll try and help you out, I don’t know what you’re speaking about.” He seems dumbfounded, an expression you’ve never seen cross him.

“The text. The note. You left me a note, did you not?” Hands trembling, you wish you had it with you in the chance it would somehow completely restart his memory.

“I left with Mia. I needed to get out of there, it was crazy and intense, and kinda good, but like totally wrong.” He moves you to the side, speaking in hushed tones as if it was an affair on par with JFK and Marilyn and not a stupid drunken kiss.

“And then I texted you.”

“No you didn’t, I don’t even have your number. Show me your phone.” The device feels like a brick from the Great Wall of China when you pull it out of your pocket. You try your best to hide your uneasy fingers when you scroll to the conversation, a silent prayer that you didn’t delete it.

There it was plain as day. It was a real conversation. He lightly grabs the phone off you, still holding it at a level that you can both see it. He taps on the contact and stares for a moment.

“Kiddo, I am so sorry. I don’t know who the hell this could be ‘cause that’s not my number.” David peels his own phone out his back pocket and shows his own contact. He was right, the number was completely different.

“I promise I don’t have a second phone as well, and I’ve never changed it. Not since I was like 13 and you still had a Motorola Razr, remember those?” He smiles, going back into a personality mode similar to a dad or grandfather. You weren’t going to lie and say it wasn’t giving you the ick.

All you could do was nod.

“Nevermind, I guess.” He parts with a pat on the shoulder like he was your sports teammate. And technically that’s all he was. A teammate, a friend's brother.

You turn in the direction of the carving tree, Danny stands in the distance. The stomach pit returns, you wish the digger would just go on strike.

All you can do is collect your thoughts for a moment and prepare yourself for the trip ahead, ensuring to grab a bottle of vodka from the ground as you approach him.

#danny evil dead rise #evil dead rise #danny evil dead rise x reader #danny evil dead #danny evil dead x reader #evil dead #evil dead smut #evil dead x reader #morgan davies #danny x reader #evil dead 2013 #evil dead fic #david allen #mia allen

[lol-jackles]

I agree with your opinions for the most part. But there are still some points of contradiction. For example, if Jared left the show, the spn wouldn't last much without him. If you exclude the bias towards Jensen and Misha, with a proper plot, the series could very well exist. Like making a move with Sam finally finding peace, leaving hunting and starting a family. Dean is happy for him and continues to do what he loves and knows well - hunt monsters and protect people and that includes Sam and his new family. Just if you take the concept that Sam(Jared) is the main character and the story is about him and Dean(Jensen) is secondary and the story can't be without a main character, then what about The Big Bang Theory series? Obviously Leonard is the main character and Sheldon is secondary. But when James Parsons wanted to leave the show(several times) it wasn't allowed? Why? Sheldon is not the main character, neither is Dean, BUT they are both audience favorites. Suppose if the situation was the other way around and Jensen was the one who wanted to leave the spn, the show wouldn't make sense either? Just based on your logic, the main character leaving is a failure for the show. That said, the departure of the same James Parsons would be a big blow to the show. His character even got his own series in the end. Maybe that's what Jensen wanted. And then I don't understand why he didn't just do a series about John when Meri died and he was left alone with kids and monsters. That would have been so much more interesting!

I think I may be misinterpreting "bias towards Jensen and Misha", as in my bias or the show's bias? If the latter then put down that non-canon-compliant fanfiction and slowly step away.

The Big Bang Theory worked with Leonard as the lead until he and Penny got married, which ideally was when the show should have ended because the show started with him pining after Penny. But the show continued for 2 more seasons with the focused moved to Sheldon & Amy and it was very noticeable that the original magic was gone and the show was cancelled shortly after. The ratings in viewership and demo for the last 2 seasons were steadily going down.

I've said many times here that when shows lose their leads, they are either cancelled or limp along for 1 or 2 more seasons (X Files, The Office, Scrubs, 70's show, The OC) but then fans and critics complain that the show got way worse. So even though The Big Bang Theory still had their lead Leonard on the show, moving the focus to Sheldon & Amy still resulted in the show's cancellation 2 years later.

Moving SPN's focus from Sam to Dean & Cas would have had the same result, cancellation in one or two seasons. So the "proper plot" you speak off wouldn't save a Sam-less show. WB knew that and that's why they cancelled Supernatural.

If it was Jensen who left SPN back in season 3 or 4, the show still would have continued to season 5 to reach syndication. During that time the role of Sam's new partner would have been casted and if he or she worked well enough with Jared, then the show could have continued after season 5. Shows that lost their main secondary character have successfully continued for several more seasons: Monk, Cheers, Greys Anatomy, Law&Order:SUV, and of course Walker. NYPD Blues' Andy famously went through 4 partners in 12 seasons, each partner just as popular as the last.

I agree that the Supernatural prequel should have been about a widowed John and wee Sam and Dean. That was Michael Rosenbaum’s immediate assumption on his podcast interview with Jensen. He missed a real opportunity for a young Sam and Dean prequel because nostalgia for the 80s is at an all time high. It could have been his version of Stranger Things as wee Sam and Dean explore the strange and the supernatural, like Sam’s imaginary friend Sully and we get to know more about the Zannas, the only supernatural creatures without agendas against mankind.

#supernatural #what if

[nipuni]

im sure you get this question all the time but how do you go about procuring those amazing outfits? do you thrift, get things tailored, make items yourself? do you buy things as you go or do you search for specific items one at the time? it's just that id love to have a style like yours (but masc haha) and i always wonder how you do it because i wouldn't know where to get clothes such as you wear anywhere, let alone for a price i can afford. and also, now im here, thank you for your amazing art, it always brightens my day when you post <3

Hello! 🥰 I collect pieces from different places that I feel fit the aesthetic I created for myself, kind of like character design, and I stick to certain silhouettes and color palettes that I already know I will feel comfortable in.

In my case I go for structured pieces instead of flowy draping ones, plain colors over patterns unless it's straight lines, earth and jewel tones on the warmer and muted side, medium height heels, gold over silver, etc. All of this makes for safe purchases for me no matter the store or outfit

Most of my clothes I buy from the historical reproduction shops I list under my posts ( I made a list some time ago here and also in the tags of each post as well as in my Instagram )

Some of these shops are on the more expensive side but offer custom tailoring which is ideal and a must for me because I'm built weird 😅 so I try to get my staple pieces there and plan the whole outfit around it before purchasing.

Then you can get the basic pieces to complete the looks from regular stores! stuff like plain shirts and trousers I usually get from places like Zara

I also thrift at curated stores which makes it easier to find interesting pieces (Edwardian revival from the 70's, capes, belts, handkerchiefs, scarves, bags and hats are some of the things I go for) I don't go with an outfit plan in mind for this, I just look around every once in a while and see what I can find and what I can do with it since it's usually very cheap too. I've also found that thrifting for masc clothes is way easier (at least where I live?) for some reason. I go antique shopping for accessories too, hats and pins from the 20's!!

Then the more specific and inexpensive stuff to tie the outfits together I get from aliexpress, (like the clock bags) and for blouses I also shop at lolita stores online sometimes

When it comes to planning outfits I just play dress up in front of the mirror like you see in the videos I make, I pull out a bunch of stuff from my closet and start matching. it helps me see what I'm missing or what colors would work best or which cut or fit creates an interesting look. It also helps you see and remember everything you have so when you are shopping or dressing up to go out you have this mental library and know whether something new will fit in with your wardrobe or not.

I also got a sewing machine some time ago and I'm teaching myself to sew! So far I've only fixed mine and my husband's clothes to make them fit but I'd love to move on to making my own clothes eventually!

I think that cultivating a personal style makes shopping for clothes easier and allows you to invest in pieces you know you will keep without fear of them going out of style and you don't feel the pressure to update your whole wardrobe every year. it's also super fun and has helped me build confidence and feel a lot more at peace with my appearance. I hope any of this helps you 😭 I rambled a lot I'll stop now!! Thank you so much for the kind words!! ❤️❤️❤️

#nips replies #this is so long why am I this insufferable

[fanyyy444]

out of the bts members which fs won’t fit the k- beauty standards I feel you can exclude Jungkook out mentioned his fs is curvy so that don’t fit it

Which BTS FS Won't Fit The Korean Beauty Standards?

Namjoon's FS

4 of Cups, 7 of Pentacles, 3 of Wands.

Well, I don't think she does fit the k-beauty standards, at least not too much. Maybe she has some large physical features? It could be nose, hips or thighs. It seems that she doesn't care much about the korean beauty standards. She may workout also, but she doesn't fit the k-beauty standards at all. But she's still very pretty of course!

Seokjin's FS

The Chariot, 9 of Pentacles, 5 of Cups.

She definitely fit the korean beauty standards! Definitely. Also it's very noticeable that she has a very good skin, very bright and shiny skin. She probably had some insecurities in the past about her physical appearance, but now she's healing🩷

Unlike Namjoon's fs, Jin's fs cares a lot about her appearance and about the beauty standards in korea.

She is very very beautiful, she definitely fit the korean beauty standards.

Yoongi's FS

The Magician, 2 of Pentacles, The Sun.

She definitely fit the korean beauty standards also! What can I say lol, well, she also has a very bright and shiny skin, also she can be very childish in her looks, she has a very good vibe.

I feel like this person cares too much about the beauty standards and about her appearance, even more than she should. She may also had some insecurities about her appearance in the past. She have cute smile and eyes. She probably workouts too, and because of The Magician, she may have a well-developed body also, may be hourglass shaped(the ideal in k-beauty standards).

Hoseok's FS

6 of Cups, The Empress, 10 of Wands.

She definitely fit the k-beauty standards, I'm 100% pretty sure that she has the famous "baby face" face(big cute eyes, cute smile, small face, etc). The empress card😭😭 She's soo pretty, I mean..SO PRETTY!!

She cares a lot about her appearance too, she probably over-workout(does that word exist?? Loll, I mean, she workouts too much, may be obsessed with workout because she doesn't want to lose her youthful appearance, I hope you can understand).

She looks like a goddess fr, she definitely fit the k-beauty standards.

Jimin's FS

The Chariot, The Judgement, 5 of Cups.

She doesn't seem to fit the k-beauty standards at all..Also it seems that she may did some plastic surgeries? As The Judgement signifies rebirth..

She may be too obsessed about her appearance and about fitting the korean beauty standards, that's why she may have had plastic surgeries. She probably had a lot of insecurities about her physical appearance in the past.

Anyway..Does she fit the korean beauty standards now?

I got the Knight of Cups, it's a Yes, she does fit the k-beauty standards now, but probably in the past she didn't fit, then she (probably) did plastic surgeries and now she does fit.

Taehyung's FS

8 of Swords, Knight of Cups, 6 of Wands.

I do feel like this person fit the k-beauty standards but not too much, like, she does fit but probably she has some features that don't fit?

Anyway, she probably feel too pressured/overwhelmed about her appearance and about fitting the k-beauty standards.

She cares a lot about her appearance, and may also have some insecurities at the moment.

She feels very burdened in relation to the k-beauty standards, she wants to fit it 100%(But I don't feel like she fits it 100%, maybe only 60-70%?).

She probably has a cute face tho.

Jungkook's FS

3 of Swords, 2 of Swords, The Strength.

Well, I really don't feel like this person does fit the korean beauty standards. Maybe she had problems with her appearance also, a lot of insecurities maybe.

Idk what else can I say, but JK's fs definitely doesn't fit the k-beauty standards.

She herself thinks that true beauty is the beauty from within.

That's it, hope you enjoyed🩷

Please take it as entertainment only, do not take it too seriously!💜

Just a reminder..Please be kind to urself🫶🏻🩷

See you soon💗

#bts tarot #kpop tarot #bts fs #bts future spouses #tarot #tarot reading #tarot readings #bts #kpop #bangtan #bangtan boys #bts army #bts ot7 #namjoon #seokjin #yoongi #hoseok #jimin #taehyung #jungkook

[accio-victuuri]

【Exclusive Interview】 Xiao Zhan: The hard road is the uphill road.

The interview with Xiao Zhan was late at night. On this day, he was busy with the training camp for the new movie during the day, and participated in the promotional program of the new drama at night, and it was nearly 12 o'clock after recording. In the lounge that was temporarily converted into an interview room, there were two sets of clothes he was wearing today hanging, two pairs of white sneakers on the floor, a machine rack, and the lights were turned on, so there was almost no room to move around.

After recording the show, Xiao Zhan changed his clothes and tidied his hair as quickly as possible, and walked into the lounge as quickly as possible. When he came to the door, he paused and walked in slowly. Say hello calmly and sit down quietly. Surrounded by the busy figures of the staff, adjusting the lights and confirming the radio, he held the interview outline and watched carefully, as if a chasing light was cast on his head, separating him from the hustle and bustle of the outside world, leaving only immersion and thinking.

Holding paper things in his hand seems to be Xiao Zhan's habit. Yang Xu, the performance director who has cooperated with him many times, once described him as "always holding the script at any time". On the one hand, this comes from his anxiety about the role, and on the other hand, it also comes from his awe of the role. As an actor with a non-professional background, Xiao Zhan has always held a cautious attitude towards acting.

This kind of posture is still running deep, and it has helped him realize some changes from quantity to quality. In the past 3 years, Xiao Zhan has participated in the drama "Dream Like a Dream" continuously, with tens of thousands of words in each scene; every year, he has a stable output of film and television dramas, from ancient costumes to modern times, from fantasy to realism; in June, the TV series "Where Dreams Begin” was broadcast, the audience saw a more mature actor Xiao Zhan.

In this drama, he wears a military overcoat, speaks Beijing dialect, rides a 28th pole, starts from the small Shichahai, and interprets a life of struggle spanning 30 years, outlining the endless life of that generation. Fighting youth. Xiao Zhan uses the word "nostalgia" to describe his "dream" - for Xiao Chunsheng, who he plays, this dream is born and raised in the city of Beijing, and it is also the original intention and persistence that has never been compromised.

Becoming Xiao Chunsheng is also a dream. In the dream, Xiao Zhan saw the characters and the times; he also saw himself and the present.

If you think it's right, you stick to it

Xiao Zhan first got the script of "Where Dreams Begin", and was attracted by Xiao Chunsheng's full growth line. "He has been through a lot in life, there are many twists and challenges, but he always chooses to rise to the challenge."

As a TV series about the struggle and growth of Beijing youth in the 70s of the last century, "Where Dreams Begin" has the idealism and romance unique to that era, and the chief planner Ye Jing and director Fu Ning are also masters of telling Beijing stories. The story begins on the eve of the resumption of the college entrance examination, when 6 young people meet at the Shichahai Ice Rink: the intelligent and unruly Xiao Chunsheng, the gentle and quiet Tong Xiaomei, the generous and righteous Ye Guohua, the proud and bright He Hongling, the sober and rational Ye Fang, and the studious Chen Hongjun. They each have their own ideals and constraints in life. Starting from this ice rink, they embarked on very different and intertwined life trajectories.

In the following 30 years, Xiao Chunsheng and his partners experienced the ups and downs of life, and also struggled and grew in the clarion call of reform and opening up. Family affection, friendship, love, challenges, opportunities, successes and failures, these keywords build the portrayal of ordinary people in extraordinary times.

Xiao Chunsheng, played by Xiao Zhan, is one of the most "axis": in the early stage, he was the eldest brother in the group, with ideas, courage, ideas, and the chivalrous courage of a young man; In the middle of the year, he aspired to make a career in the army, returned home lonely after being injured, and rose again with the support of tenacious faith; In the end, he walked out of Shichahai and experienced ups and downs in the business sea, but still cherished his original intention and realized another life value.

"I think the most similar thing between myself and Xiao Chunsheng is that I can always stick to what I think is right. In the play, Xiao Chunsheng has made many choices with social changes, but what he really insists on in his heart has not changed, including his friends, his family, and the career he cares about, and he is a person who is more mortal. Xiao Zhan told reporters.

The role is simple and carries a lot of energy throughout; But the role is also complex, and rollercoaster-like situations require actors to show a very different mental outlook.

The scene that impressed Xiao Zhan the most was the clip of Xiao Chunsheng returning to Beijing after being injured, "That scene requires the actor to immerse himself in sad emotions, and at the same time to make some different levels in this emotion, the difficulty is to show this change and progression." ”

With his legs injured, his father dead, and his lover leaving, Xiao Chunsheng got on a train to Beijing with a triple blow. In Xiao Zhan's view, Xiao Chunsheng was very uneasy at that time, "He was so proud and stubborn, he was actually in a wheelchair and was pushed into the car, so I would think, if it were me, I would do something." Xiao Zhan saw a pole next to the train door, so he helped the pole and got on the train. "I think this is what Xiao Chunsheng will do, because the stubbornness in his bones is: others can trouble me, I can stick a knife in the ribs for my brother and the people I care about, but if I am allowed to trouble others, it will cost my life." Xiao Zhan said.

After getting off the train, Xiao Chunsheng saw his sister, and the siblings hugged each other with tearful eyes, and this scene touched many audiences. In fact, this scene simply walked one bit, and when the filming officially started, the emotions were already in place, and the two actors naturally released all their grievances, distress, and unwillingness - real emotions cannot be rehearsed.

To complete this sense of scene, one requires the actor to be 100% familiar with the script, and the other requires the actor to fully enter the role. "Where Dreams Begin" is a jump shoot, and the before and after scenes may not always be smooth, so you must take the time and effort to sort out the order and performance of each scene, and do your homework on the script.

In Xiao Zhan's view, this is a challenge, but also a necessary way to become an actor.

Actors speak with their works

Xiao Zhan is a "post-90s" actor, and "Where Dreams Begin" tells the story of his fathers. Referring to the influence of his parents on himself, Xiao Zhan told reporters: "I inherited their strength." Most people in Chongqing have a very strong and tenacious energy. ”

This energy runs through his acting path so far. Two and a half years ago, he was filming the TV series "Ace Troops", entered the group in advance to participate in military training life, went out to exercise at 5:30 every morning, and practiced running under the scorching sun. The director of the play, Liu Yan, has 3 words to describe him simply and accurately: "Can endure hardship." ”

Liu Yan's other evaluation of Xiao Zhan is also 3 words, "can think". For each role, Xiao Zhan always has to do his best to explore to find a support point in performance. When discussing his performance experience with reporters, Xiao Zhan said: "I prefer to do some preparation work outside the script, such as this character, what the environment he grew up in, what people and things have the greatest impact on him, these things are all outside the script and need to be excavated by themselves." ”

Each character already has a short biography of his or her own before filming begins. "Writing him out through your own understanding will help the interpretation of this character." This is Xiao Zhan's experience.

"Do you hope that when others mention Xiao Zhan in the future, they will say what kind of person he is?" The reporter asked him.

"He's had a good drama recently." He replied with a smile.

This is his ambition to be an actor who stands on a foothold in drama. In recent years, Xiao Zhan has increasingly felt the bond between performance and actors. often return to the hotel after filming, thinking back to the shooting of this day, there is an inexplicable sense of satisfaction, "will be very happy, will feel oh, in fact, this scene is really okay, all the hard work is worth it"; There will also be reflections, "or feel that the state of this scene is not very good, it would be better if it were done again."

"As a non-professional actor, with so much attention, the audience will inevitably look at you and evaluate you with a more rigorous eye, what do you think of these comments?"

"Just treat it normally, just like a line in "Where Dreams Begin", 'The hard road is the uphill road'. That's right, then I'll absorb it myself, and then correct it next time. For me, an actor speaks with a work, so everything serves the work. ”

Three years ago, at an event commemorating the 110th anniversary of Mr. Cao Yu's birth, Xiao Zhan had a conversation with Wan Fang, Cao Yu's daughter. Xiao Zhan asked Wan Fang a question: "Is sincerity the most important thing in creation?" ”

Wan Fang replied with a line from her work "Winter Journey": "There is no road to sincerity, sincerity itself is the road." ”

This sentence was deeply remembered by Xiao Zhan. He knows that the attitude towards performance should also be this way - there are no shortcuts to good performance, only sincerity and perseverance can be accomplished.

Don't be humble and focus on the moment

Before entering the entertainment industry, Xiao Zhan was a college student studying design, a diligent "Party B" in the company, and because of his work experience before the age of 25, he always had a professional consciousness, such as when talking about the drama "Dream Like a Dream", he described himself as a screw in the team.

Xiao Zhan told reporters that almost every year he is asked about future plans and goals, but in fact, he is not a person who likes to list plans. "It's about doing things well in the moment and living in the moment."

Now that it is the graduation season, Xiao Zhan recalls his career along the way and is very emotional. "After graduating from college, I first worked in my own major, and then jumped into the industry, and I was able to empathize with the anxiety that some graduates may have now. After coming out of the campus, the social environment has changed, the work content has also changed, everyone will encounter different difficulties and challenges, and after one difficulty, there will be the next. He said, "But you still have to adjust your mentality, don't be humble and unassuming, don't worry and worry too much, do what you have at hand, and the trouble will be solved." ”

At the beginning of 2020, Xiao Zhan attended an award ceremony, and on the podium, he wrote a "JIE". That was his small expectation for himself: "Don't be arrogant or impatient, stay up late, break the boundary and cross the world to break into the world." ”

From a designer to a singer, this is a beautiful and unexpected turning point in Xiao Zhan's life; from a singer to an actor, he has continuously broadened his career boundaries and gradually gained his own starlight; Accumulated with many works, consolidated ability, and moved forward steadily. At the end of the interview, Xiao Zhan said that he would not set a life plan too high and high, and that all the future comes from this momentary self.

About life, time will give the best answer.

source. ( people’s network )

#xiao zhan #what a good interview!!!! #accio victuuri translation

[hollyhomburg]

Doing an Amazon print on demand for BILY would be so cool! I would love to have BILY physically in my home. Taking in consideration how long the story is, how many books do you think it would make?

ideally i'd love to fit it all in one book HOWEVER- amazon limits to 800 pages- it would be a streach but i'd hope to get it into two or maybe three. idk maybe i'd do more options for people that wanted it split up differently. it would probably end up being expensiveee that way. i've toyed with how i would split it up before- and there are two possibilities- one with alot of books and one with only a few.

the one with alot of books is mainly chapters 1-11 (book one, beggining up until the m/c and hobi are at the train station, 12-28 (book 2, them forming their truce to the bulk of the m'/c's exploration into bdsm and the start of tae's arc) 29-39 (book 3, what would affectionatly be called vmin's book because it's like- 90% them). 40-56 (book 4, namjoon's rut, hobi and the m/c first kiss all the way up until they find the body at the beach), 56-69 (book 5, all the mafia parts of the series coming to fruition) 70-end ( book 6, the sweet afterstory and epilouges) this would be 6 books, i have some idea's for title names like; the god of bugs and fish for book 4 and 'hungry little things' for book 2, and of course before i leave you for book one!

the one with a few books would be 1-25 or the begining to the hospital scenes roughly 265k words, 26-56 or from the time tae and the m/c get drunk to when they find the dead body, and then 56- finish!

Also another idea that might be applicable to people who don’t want all the books is to just like- do your favorite chapters and I could list it as “name’s edition” provided the word count was under like 400k (roughly like 20 chapters)

[basicgeology]

whats more unpredictable about continental crust?

The composition of continental crust really varies significantly because of many reasons, mostly because it's subject to both sedimentation and erosion so we already don't have one type of rock that is uniform to the surface of continental crust in the same way that we know the entire oceanic crust is covered in a layer of mostly clay and less commonly limestone sediments.

The continental crust is also a lot thicker with a larger range than the oceanic crust, between 20 and 70 km of depth with an average of about 36 km, which means there are a lot more of processes happening inside and the 50 km of range really differentiates how the crust is affected by pressure and temperatures.

We know more or less what the average composition of the crust is (granite, which is an intrusive rocks but much richer in quartz than the gabbro i mentioned in the post) and in general it's high in silicates and low in maphic minerals, the complete opposite of oceanic crust.

It's also a lot more difficult to dig into, because of that significant thickness: you might have heard about how this spring Project Mohole successfully drilled into the deepest parts of the oceanic crust, pretty much reaching the mantle - while we have barely managed to drill a hole that reaches 1/3 of the continental crust. Because of this we also know significantly less about the continental crust.

I'll leave a graph about how we think the continental crust might look like in a very idealized and hypothetical rendition:

#original post #geology #petrography #inbox

[daincrediblegg]

I’ve been seeing some complaints about Hari’s wig so I’ve decided to use my arcane knowledge of Jared Harris images to rate some looks from 1 (I’m questioning my choices) to 10 (I’ve never been more right) in order to prove the point that that wig wasn’t even the worst look he's ever had. Not even close.

1. the jaz haz of receiving psychic damage. With the exception of the moustache he is perfectly fine (honey. Listen. It just doesn’t work in this case. ily) but also him making that face specifically like he’s psyduck personified is extremely funny to me. 7/10

2. He looks like he could conceivably be in mortal kombat??? But also his fatality move would be the lamest shit ever? Babygirl you don’t fight like that. Put those things down. You’re gonna hurt yourself. Simultaneously I feel like I’ve stumbled onto the set of a very strange porno from the 70’s and I’m actually a little uncomfortable (again. Honey. You can do better with the stache thing. I’ve seen it. There are some good images with you in a mustache. It’s not this one tho I’m sorry) 5/10

3. The fuckin wig. Listen. Y’all in the hair and makeup department do wonderful things on this show. Really. I mean that. But what made us say that this is the move? Who said “young Hari, huh? I know what to do” and then made him a fucking beatle in the worst way possible (though I can’t entirely fault them- wouldn’t be the first time he’s done this). Though I suppose they didn’t want us to forget that this show is a comedy, and at least they’re aware of that. 5/10

5. … who is he? He came out of the fucking woods with the most unimaginable stank and breath of haggis. I literally am completely baffled by his presence. Perhaps a little perturbed by it. Perhaps a little turned on. Who knows. Schrodinger’s rating: either 2/10 or 6/10 depending on how desperate I am

6. Literally the ideal man. I don’t know what to tell you folks but you’re lookin at him. He looks like he just stumbled out of an elton john houseparty at 3am and is still riding out his ecstasy high and if he asked me for my firstborn child I don’t think I or any godly creature could possibly refuse him. 100000/10

7. Orenge. This one I felt merited 3 consecutive images bc the frequency of this appearance astounds me. This man like my father before him has held onto his yellow sunnies from the 90’s for far too long. There has never been a more depression image ever shot than that first one and it was really mean of the person who took this to do that, but also it’s a mood somehow. Can’t shake the combo of this with the buzz tho like thats… buddy there are better choices. I am glad you are making them now but damn. 4/10

8. Danger Will Robinson… you’ve been assigned old man at birth by production crew. Even that benjamin button cunt didn’t have it this bad. EVEN WIG BOY HARI SELDON DOESN’T HAVE IT THIS BAD!!!! I deadass want to take him home and put him in a bath and make him bathe in conditioner for a week. 1/10

9. Now look here sonny jim. You can’t do this to him. Like I’m sorry. What was the logic here, disney? You make a man look so unabashedly GORGEOUS with the long red hair and the outfit and the whole thing? Only to have him say fuck all?? You don’t deserve him. NONE of you deserve him. I want to take him to a whore house in red dead redemption and fuck him silly. I want justice for the bitches that wronged him. 9/10

#jared harris #hari seldon #I cannot remain silent on the matter of jh lewks any longer. the world needs to know what I know. what I have seen. #you're welcome thank you good night

[ryuki23]

Don Kaito Is The Zenkaiger Arrow: A 100% Serious Theory (No Really I'm Not Lying)

Now that the Donbrothers finale has come and gone without giving us any answers about what the FUCK is up with Don Kaito (and I'd expect nothing less 10/10 no notes), I'm finally free to explain all about my most beloved theory/headcanon without fear that it will be disproved in the next week!

Basically, I think Don Kaito is something like what AkaRed is for Red Rangers, but for ALL rangers, and/or the idea/ideals/will of Super Sentai as a whole.

In his own words,

Background Info

AkaRed is the embodiment of the spirit of all Red Rangers, although the specifics of what that means and how it works isn't super elaborated on anywhere, he mostly just shows up occasionally to be a weird slightly cryptic guide to other Sentai. Much like another character I could name... 🤔

The possibility of an AoBlue/AkaBlue is jokingly brought up once in a Zyuohger special, but other than that nothing and no one else like AkaRed is ever shown or mentioned. EXCEPT...

*DRAMATIC GASP* Goran no Sponsor???? (no joke this is exactly how I reacted when I got to this part jkbjsdfgf)

So, in the penultimate episode of Zenkaiger, they're fighting the Big Bad, who has absorbed all the other Super Sentai's worlds and can use their powers. The Zenkaigers seem completely outmatched, and the Big Bad's final attack knocks them out of henshin and breaks their Sentai Gears so they can't transform again. But they get up anyway, declaring their resolve to fight even untransformed to save the worlds the other Sentai fought to protect. And then, this happens:

All the previous Sentai's powers respond to this and leave the Big Bad, lending their power to the Zenkaigers to make them new Gears. While this is happening, the Zenkaigers are transported to this place, where all the symbols of past Sentai float around the Zenkaiger Arrow, which they seem to be forming.

Basically, these powers have their own will, and all of them together are symbolized by the Zenkaiger Arrow. Which, I might add, is frequently shown in the rest of the series reacting to comedic moments and interacting with other characters.

So why do I think this arrow and Don Kaito are one and the same?

Well, because it's a fun idea to think about mostly! Honestly, it just came to me out of nowhere in the middle of the night and that's it. But the more I thought about it, the more things that happen in canon I found that could support it.

1: Hitotsuki and Sentai Gears

Hitotsuki that are based on past Sentai seasons drop Gears when defeated, no matter who defeats them or how they do it. And most of the time, regardless of who defeats them, the Gear ends up in Don Kaito's possession. That kind of makes it feel like this phenomenon is unrelated to his position as Admin of the Donbrothers.

2: "True Hero"

Jin Momoi shows A LOT of deference to Don Kaito. He's like. The ONLY person Jin is ever unfailingly polite to. Jin is surprised and shocked that Don Kaito would be working in a cafe. Jin KNEELS to this guy. I am rattling the bars of my cage. What do you KNOW, Old Man????

Anyway, "True Hero" and "Forever Hero" sure sound like the kind of titles one might give to the physical embodiment of the spirit and ideals of all Super Sentai.

3: Don Kaito Knows Santa Claus

Yeah him and Santa go way back.

So like, it seems like Don Kaito is NOT a Normal Human Age. And although Himitsu Sentai Goranger is only from the 70s, there are a lot of Sentai shows where the backstory has a Sentai, a similar team of warriors, or the source of the Sentai's power existing hundreds, thousands, or millions of years in the past.

In Conclusion:

I fucking love this concept, and as a bonus, it fits with some of the weirdest stuff about Don Kaito.

In my mind, Don Kaito got involved in the story of Donbrothers because of whatever is up with the Sentai Gears that is causing them to turn people into Hitotsuki and in order to get them all back, and he set up Cafe Donbura so the absolute disaster group that is the Donbrothers would have an actual Home Base, because god knows they would never have come together by themselves. And also to support Tarou when he was fighting alone while Jin fucked around throwing darts at the city to choose Donbrothers.

And he looks like Zenkaito because uhhhh he thinks Kaito is pretty cool 😊

The End

#donbros #avataro sentai donbrothers #avatarou sentai donbrothers #don kaito #don kaito goshikida #what tag do people use for him???? #anyway i'm actually so certain that they're never gonna explain anything about this man but i'm also so attached to this idea

[booklove22]

I’m having such a hard time with this episode - and I saw the larger beats coming a mile away. I knew it would be a solo-visit to the 70′s for Nancy and Tristan and that the Drew Crew would be left in the current timeline. I knew it would be Nancy and Tristan dancing. So none of what happened with them was like “OH NO I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE NACE DANCING”  - like I was already mentally prepped for that. But what kills me about this is all of the missed opportunities...and I’m trying to be objective here and not just wrapped up in the romance aspects - but the larger storytelling opportunities that were also missed.

1) It’s a 13 episode season, but for all the “this is going to be among the greatest ND episodes of all time” chatter from the writers and Kennedy, this felt distinctly like a filler episode. Something that would have been at home in an 18+ episode season, but here feels like a weird detour. It feels especially wasted since the 2nd most recently deceased corpse died in 1975! This could have been an ideal opportunity to explore more about the corpses and...they blew it. They chose to dabble in something time-travel adjacent tor....a spider? 

2) There was absolutely no reason to have Bess do the errr...c-section? Like, Ace’s job is literally cutting people open? Like, as a writer, isn’t the goal to up the emotional stakes as much as possible? Can you imagine how much more tense the scene would have been if he was the one doing it instead of Bess? Again I’m not even talking anything romantic here - just more...he was the right person for the job. 

3) Ace watching Nancy slow dance with Tristan was repetitive. Like, it didn’t hit or hurt nearly as hard as when he was in the liminal space and seeing it with Park. I know it was probably an intentional callback, not unlike the Gil kiss>Park kiss mirror, but here it just felt like they could have achieved the same outcome another way? Not that I want to hurt more than I already do, but at some point you have to weigh whether a callback is a better choice than some new kind of painful visual. 

4) The Ace/Chunky storyline was hit or miss. I prefer when the entire drew crew is working together toward a common goal and when someone is missing (or in this case working on a totally unrelated “case”), the entire vibe of the show feels off. I thought the conversations between Nick and Ace were interesting and I’m still marinating on them. Honestly, they were probably the most interesting part of the episode to me - particularly Nick’s observation that Ace trying to go back to the “friendship” he and Nancy used to have might be a futile effort because what they had might have always have been more than friendship, whether they knew it then or not. Like DAMN NICK, don’t hold back. Everyone else is telling them to move on and Nick’s the only one out here gently letting Ace know that his whole grand “friendship” plan may be impossible. 

5) Speaking of Chunky....I’ve seen some people say that Ace let him go out of spite. But my read on it was more that Ace realized there may have been a kernel of truth in what Nick said. Letting go of Chunky was him realizing that there is no going back to the relationship they used to have..so now the journey is figuring out how to be in her life moving forward if its not what they were before they knew they had feelings or what they could have been had the curse not been in place. 

6) Finally, I don’t get the vibe anymore that we’ll be seeing Ace’s “ire” over her whatever with Tristan. Ryan’s for sure. But I don’t know...after this ep, I just don’t see “ire” being the thing that comes out of Ace. At the end of the day, he knows Tristan was key to saving Nancy and she would have died otherwise. I’m not saying there won’t be jealousy or anger but I think its something he’ll let fester inside of him rather than calling her out on it (at least for now). 

Anyway, I just...I didn’t like that episode. I feel like it had the potential to be so much more and just fell short of what it could have been.

#nace #nancy drew #cw nancy drew

[crazykuroneko]

Rewind the Tape — IWTV S1E03 Rewatch

It's time to continue @iwtvfanevents Rewind the Tape with Episode 3. A disclaimer: this is my first time rewatching the show (excluding indirect watch through YouTube reactions), and it's purpose for me to refresh my mind and noticing things. So, I won't dwell on certain theories, but I'll take notes about it for myself. An extra disclaimer: I revoke my feminist card for Antoinette Brown.

Before that, this is my favorite shot of this episode:

• The music during the opening. It's a comedy show lol

• "I put you on this earth. Your purpose is to enjoy yourself." A bar. An extremely red flagging bar.

• "I know you don't believe that." This is entering a headcanon/personal theory zone, but I always suspect Lestat during this era has this "ideal life" he envisions for him and Louis. That vampires should be this or that, vampire family should be this or that etc. And he stubbornly holds to it which leads to him denying himself to be vulnerable and more communicative to Louis and Claudia. I wonder if we'll get some clue on this later. anyway, BACK TO THE MAIN PROGRAMMING

• "I desire *small voice* blood..." He is so cute

• ugh Louis' suit is Excellent. Carol Cutshall i worship you

• "Every one of them is capable of abomination, even the ones worthy of admiration" "Thrust them into circumstance,[...] and you'll see all kinds of depravity" Unfortunately, he is right.

• I, too, want to flirt with my spouse while talking about how to decide which human we'll kill.

• NOT THE CAT LOUIS 😭😭😭😭

• And with that, the theme of the episode is set: the consequence of Louis' eating disorder. Deeper exploration after establishing what he lost and not lost to vampirism in the previous episode.

• Antoinette is from Atlanta.

• "You're ashamed of what we are." Highlighting this for later.

• "Could you not use the word..." Louis 😂

• Louis has business in Clairborne. Google tells me it's dominated by Black population back then and has a lot of shops. (cmiiw ofc)

• "There it is". We're gonna back to this later.

• Not at Louis staring at Lestat staring at Antoinette. With Lestat already knew Morton will leave Louis soon, you know that his bad idea (he'd call it genius actually) of inciting Louis' jealousy and rage through Antoinette flashes in his little brain right there.

• Jolly Morton vs Lestat banter. what a moment 😂

• *Googles* Wolverine Blues was written in 1923.

• Okay, this is paraphrase, but Daniel said, "When you're still too close to it, the abused still loves the abuser. But you flipped it on its head" aka '70s Louis hated and trash talked Lestat, but now he romantisized him. Well, we'll definitely see the answer in S2. But I wonder if this raises a possibility of Louis meeting Lestat after the '70s interview? Or 2022 Louis believes Lestat is dead dead? You know, you could be forgiving after someone dies. Anyway, kind of fast forwarding here, but this and how Louis downplays Lestat's power in E01 and Louis' whole speech in E06 about "are we the sum of our worst moments?" establishes Louis' current POV actually softens Lestat. Beating that "Louis is lying to make Lestat look worse" allegations. (Unfortunately, he really loves that man guys 😞)

• It's so cute of Louis he really knows what page he has to read out loud when Daniel starting to question his story. Like, he's very aware there's accuracy problem to his memories.

• Louis looks so cute when he's happy (and what a good acting there from Jacob)

• I like that light blue vest on Lestat. Why do we only see it once (and with Antoinette on top of that)? 😭

• Lestat and Antoinette's gig is two weeks old by this time.

• "I understand the indulgence. I let it happen" Oh, Louis 😞

• Not at Lestat offering a threesome. And "I like burnished complexion". God, they should have killed this racist fake ass sooner. And woman even opens her dress herself 😭

• The editing during this scene is kinda jumpy though. But again, no male gaze on the naked woman body. I appreciate that.

• The laugh omg. I don't know, maybe i'm kinda sick in the head and could see how crazy Lestat's brain works, so since the beginning, even before knowing the "inappropriate laugh" explanation from the books, I saw it as like him going "are you really saying you're not enough? LOL" but that's still fucking rude from Louis' POV. That's like the closest Louis ever being vulnerable and saying "I love you" to Lestat, but alas. In E01, Louis himself says he doesn't like how his family judges him, and now he gets Lestat laughing at his sincerity, so OF COURSE he will become more closed-off.

• "There. I said this" And as I said, we're back to the beginning of this episode. This whole thing with Antoinette is Lestat's "clap back" to Louis' shame about their vampirism, which he sees as a personal slight to him because he's Louis' maker. He's deliberately doing this in away that it betrays his own words. So, Lestat is not being hypocritical here, he's being, "Look, how silly it is when we go along with your words of sparing them according to the standard that pleases us?" He's trying to make a point. This is not unlike when Lestat uses "my love" on Antoinette after Louis calling him "my love" while presenting him the poisoned blood that would kill him in E07. I mean, they're both so petty to each other, and unfortunately they're literally this Taylor Swift meme:

• And as we know, unfortunately Lestat will keep using Antoinette to push Louis' buttons until Louis is numb enough to feel hurt about it 😞

• "So, I can fuck whoever I want?" And since it's basically about making a point, Lestat of course has never considered a possibility of Louis fucking anyone else. Because he assumes Louis would be mad and drain Antoinette himself soon. He's that genius (sarcasm).

• "sanctioned infidelity" Louis really has a way with bis words 😂

• Ordinance 4118. Segregating Storyville.

• Lestat standing right in front of the stage while Antoinette is performing 🤮. They're so overtly public. Rubbing on something he can't do with Louis as a couple.

• Oh Jacob's acting during the game and talking to the Alderman. He looks hot as well 🧎‍♀️

• Ngl since I'm not American and I don't know much about American history, I opened Google for these lines.

• God, after the incident with Benny, there's definitely no contact between Louis and his family because he only knows it's the twins' birthday from Jonah.

• "Do you remember the old days?" Oh, Louis is giving that whole montage of their youth for Lestat. Something they don't have together as a couple. They're so nasty to each other woo!

• Oh Lestat takes umbridge because Louis is praising Jonah's uniform, later saying it's Louis' "type"

• I believe here Lestat is honest he stops the thing with Antoinette because he sees his "clap back" doesn't work like it should be. Tries to wave the white flag of surrender to Louis by offering a night out together the next day, but unfortunately Louis chooses to go to his family. Interesting though, 2022 Louis definitely notices Lestat's disappointment at that time, judging from that shot of Lestat freezing there. Again, this goes with my assumption that 2022 Louis tries to understand Lestat better.

• In hindsight, it's interesting Louis himself offers the opening for Daniel to question his recollection by saying the mud on Lestat's boots could come from anywhere, because later he knows for sure Lestat was there in the bayou watching. During my first watch, I thought Daniel catching his error, but maybe Louis deliberately wants Daniel to catch it? Which makes his words in S2 trailer "I want to remember" more sense. He's been prepping Daniel to see through his errors.

• The eye contact with Armand there. So brief, but what a clue. Is he lingering for Jonah's bit or for the testing memory bit?

• That transition to the girls calling him a ghost. So clever.

• Six months of no contact.

• And Lestat claps back to the Jonah thing by bringing those soldiers to their home. Again, he's genius like that.

• "I think Bricks is onto us". Ofc Bricks knows (because like Antoinette says, they talk gossips), but making Lestat notices this from her after weeks of Lestat and Antoinette being so public is interesting. Idk where I'm going with this, but interesting.

• I still really like with how they did Lestat's face during this big showing of power. Kudos for special effects team

• And I watch you drain the dog and eat rats" Yes yes, Lestat did this whole plan to drive Louis to kill in rage but it ends up with him so close to eat properly yet still draining animals. I believe he'd be less mad if Louis drinks from Jonah there. Anyway, first proof of anything Lestat has planned never ends well (except the Come to Me record in E06, but that's not a long game) and yet we have people saying he's like Hannibal 🤷‍♀️

• Louis really makes him speechless there. Kudos.

• I'm glad to see Lestat supporting Louis here in front of Fenwick and Anderson, and rejects Fenwick's suggestion to make him the face of Louis' business, because I was ready to slap him if he said yes during my first watch.

• And of course Lestat calls it a "hobby" because he never takes Louis' human business seriously and he is unable to understand why his bussiness is important to Louis. The scene where Louis' making the No Whites sign proves it.

• So, Louis' remaining business after this riot in Clairborne is hats and grocery stores. And like Louis says, the money isn't that much. That and the remaining Azalea money (if he saved them, exclusing the amount he's been giving to his family as deputy in charge of their trust) are what funding his life and Claudia during Lestat is away in E06 and their whole trip in Europe in S2. That, if those shops survives the Depression.

• The directing during the killing of Fenwick is so 🤌

• Hanging him at the St. Louis church is too on the nose, Louis, but like Lestat, I really appreciate the style. (I wonder how they got the permit to hang it there. I zoomed this shot a lot back then to identify the church, so I'm pretty sure that's the real church not a replica)

• That zoom in on Louis by the window 🤌

• I went to Google and apparently the Ordinance didn't get time to be applied because it's challanged immediately by a mixed raced Madam, and Storyville ended up being closed due to military pressure. Read here. In the show though, it's applied, so logically it makes the existing racial tension even worse, and there's a big possibility of a race riot to happen with or without Louis' action.

• He really says finding Claudia is a "before you and after you" type of moment 😭

• God, all the things Louis puts on the saving of Claudia. Azalea, Storyville, his people. *spoiler* It's no wonder unable to save Claudia in the end is very traumatic for him.

Summary:

So, we're here in episode 3 aka the essay of all consequences when Louis self-regulates too much. Side effects of his eating disorder we've seen in this episode: "barely energy to hold up a book", lacking libido, easier to become bitey when he is aroused (i mean, it took longer for Claudia in E04 but since she's way younger, she lost herself immediately unlike Louis), healing way later than it should be (a scar that should only take minutes to heal probably takes one good night sleep), unable to control rage hence he's prone to uncontrolled outburst.

If in the last episode, we see how bad Loustat handling a conflict, this time we see their ugly habit of "settling a score" when they're mad with each other instead of communicating like normal people. And when one of them let themselves vulnerable enough to communicate, the other doesn't respond well and instead worsen the other's insecurity (however, we can't blame Louis not noticing Lestat's moment vulnerability because unlike Louis who vocalize his insecurity and gets laughed at, Lestat conceals what he feels and why)

Anyway, can't wait to see this gets even worse 😂😭

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #rewind the tape #vampterview #moi.txt #iwtv spoilers #i guess? #oh i forgot #cw eating disorder

[sammy--moh]

A random ramble about my identity, modern queer community and queer history bc I'm hyperfixated

(I don't want slur discourse under my post. I reclaim words that have been directly used to oppress me only and only towards myself, that's where the conversation ends)

(Cis/Hets don't touch this post

Terfs especially don't even look at this post

Anti kink fuckers don't look at this post, kink and LGBT are separate things but you cannot untangle kink history from queer/LGBT history

If your against the use of the word queer, don't clown on this post

Queer cis people are free to interact and add their opinions but don't clown on this post

Trans people and queer punks and activists please interact <3

Any corrections are welcomed as long as their constructive)

So you could probably find a few posts of me talking about some of my more modern and neo/xeno identity labels, its something I'm fairly proud of I'm a neo pronoun user and have been out as a nonbinary man for a long time

But I don't think I talk about my more, I guess classical and older queer labels and that feels disingenuous because I do still love queer history and have a lot of what would be considered ""outdated"" identieies

Yeah I'm a neo user and have some xeno gender labels, and I'm T4T which as far as I know is a label thats been around a long time but its still common and normally used today

But im also just a gender nonconformist(sometimes i use and reclaim the words transexual and transvestite just to piss off cis people who say i cant), i unapolgetically reclaim the word f4g, im in the leather community, I'm a fem man, im a cub, all things that have been around maybe since the 60s - 70s that I/still/ find connection to, comfort and community in

I mean hell I usually consider myself to currently be in a masc 4 fem relationship which you'd probably never guess by just looking at me

Which is another thing! Why is it always assumed that cubs and bears are the mascs?? I think I have more traditionally feminine clothing and presentation then most of my twink friends, I am a big, fat, extroverted, hairy cub and I am still the fem in one of my relationships and very feminine and fem presenting in general

Obviously masc 4 fem is not the only kind of mlm and wlm relationship that's stupid sndnd and expecting it is heteronormative, some people are masc 4 masc,fem 4 fem, heck not everyone /likes/ traditional masc fem labels and that's awesome!

Another thing I don't see a lot of people talk about is the fact that the bear and cub community is objectively a body positivity movement, that's what it started as that's what it always will be

Bear culture was a reaction to the beauty standards of gay culture at the time, when the ideal in gay relationships were young, thin, conventionally attractive gay and bi/multisexual men

Bear culture was specifically made to appreciate, lift up, and love large, hairy,sometimes older gay and bi/multsexual men and cub culture branched off from bears

I'm gonna be honest, I am recovering from a few body image issues and disorders that I wont go in depth on, and bear + cub culture has helped me to love myself and my body and find myself attractive more than any other body positivity space! Not to say other body positvity spaces arent important and needed, but that as a queer trans man this one has been the space I felt the most welcomed in

I wish there were a few expectations we could leave behind, like the idea that bears and cubs only date other bears and cubs, that terms like bear, twink, otter, leather gay, ect are gay exclusive and not just mlm and nwlnw terms, that fem and masc culture are gay and lesbian exclusive (dont come at me there are several moments in history we see these terms used by bi and generally queer men and that show masc and fem culture in bi and generally queer spaces)

I wish I could find more people like me in history, trans men who weren't masc, transmen and transmascs that were unapologetically feminine, I want to find transman queens in history, trans gay and mlm men, it's hard to find.. but I'm almost positive there has to be at least some people like me in queer history

But in general there's so much we can learn and keep from older queer culture that I feel has been lost a lot with younger generations

I love modern queer culture and neo/xeno labels and communities ans MOGAI and the breakdown of gender norms and sexual expectations

But im also unapolgetically a fem, leather loving, kinkster, trans fucking, fat cub, cross dressing faggot

All of these things are me

You cannot untangle or separate these identieies and labels from /me/

There are riots and loss in my history, and there is raw, unapolgetic queer beauty as well. there is pride in my veins, and fight in my lungs, and I wouldn't trade any of it for shit

#queer #lgbtqia #queer activism #transgender #trans activism #slur reclamation #queer history #gay history #lgbt history #mogai identity #gay cub #queer pride #gay pride #multisexual #mlm #t4t #long post #queer punk

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Pac-Man

CR 20

Neutral Evil Gargantuan Outsider

Bestiary 2, pg. 70-71 (art from Michele Rocco’s Artstation!)

Monstrous embodiments of Abaddon’s apocalyptic ideals, Pac-Men are roaming maws with an unceasing hunger for mortal souls. Able to chew through materials up to and including solid rock with the ease of a child eating cotton candy, Pac-Men carve swaths across any countryside they’re unleashed upon, consuming everything in their path to both sate their appetites and to end as many lives as they possibly can before they’re slain or banished. Given their resilience and titanic power compared to the average city guard, stopping even a single Pac-Man tends to be something only the greatest of adventurers can handle.

In most media they’re portrayed in, Pac-Men are often captured inside inescapable labyrinths that even they cannot chew through and forced to chase down whatever morsels are dropped in by happenstance (or whoever created the labyrinths), a myth they share in common with Minotaurs. Much like Minotaurs, this is true for the most famous of all the Pac-Men, but the average Pac-Man is more likely to create a maze than become trapped in one, able to erect Walls of Fire and Walls of Ice at will, and summon indestructible Walls of Force 3/day. Able to easily float through the air and burrow through the ground to circumvent their conjured obstacles (or just teleport past them), their summoned battlefields tend to be mild inconveniences for them and terrible, inescapable prisons for the victims they’ve trapped inside, who can only listen helplessly as the sounds of their gnashing jaws grows inexorably closer.

As expected, Pac-Men long to get into melee so that they may snap as many helpless victims into their gigantic maws as they can. To this end, their gluttonous mouths snap so ferociously they can actually bite twice in a round, dealing 2d8+12 damage each time and Grabbing whatever victims they manage to bite down on. Should they miss with their jaws, or if they simply want more victims (and they always do), they can extend upwards to four reaching claws from within their throats to not only slash victims for 2d6+12 damage each, but Grab onto them as well. Finally, their teeth can jut out all on their own to form goring spikes which can rake across nearby foes for 2d8+12 damage. With a 20ft space and a 20ft reach, Pac-Men can very easily reach every corner of their conjured battlefields to pluck screaming victims from the crowd and begin swallowing them.

Lacking Fast Swallow, Pac-Men must use their move actions to pull victims Grabbed by their throat claws into their mouths proper, but can swallow any victim held in their jaws as a standard action, pushing the poor soul(s) into their grinding, soul-sucking innards. Any creature that begins its turn within the fiend’s stomach takes 4d8+18 bludgeoning damage and automatically gains 1d4 negative levels with no save. Able to hold up to four Medium creatures at a time in their cavernous stomachs, even their interior is another labyrinth; any creature that tries cutting its way out (which must contend with the 20 AC and 40 HP of each gut chamber) has a 50% chance of being regurgitated into a different stomach chamber than out of the beast entirely, forced to suffer another round of damage,

In the most famous tale about Pac-Men, a single one was used as a punishment for wayward souls, hunting them down in a maze and devouring them over and over and over again. This is the fate of many who end up consumed, their bodies destroyed and their souls condemned to Abaddon, where the horrors may yet hunt them down again to devour them and utterly erase their existence. For others, especially souls destined for the higher planes, they’re nonetheless rendered into ammunition for the beast’s breath weapon; 3/day it can exhale either a 120ft line or a 60ft cone of shrieking black mist, the alien waste product it creates as it digests its victims. This mist deals 20d10 negative energy damage to any creature that fails a DC 27 Reflex save.

Not all in the path of the apocalyptic beasts are destined for its gullet, especially if they prove to be a threat to it, perhaps by penetrating its DR 10/Good and Silver or passing its meager elemental resistances. Should a Pac-Man feel overwhelmed or surrounded, it may unleash a shrieking Wail of the Banshee 1/day, dealing a flat 200 damage to up to 20 creatures. Anything made vulnerable by the wail can be reduced to ash by its 3/day Quickened Disintegrate, blowing 40d6 worth of HP off a single target in the horror’s field of vision. In a twisted form of mercy, these are the least painful ways for someone to meet their ends when one of these beasts is roaming the world.

A far cry from the silly storybook version that gets overwhelmed by the ghosts of its past victims!

You can read more about them here.

[buckevantommy]

alright i finally managed to get a copy of the ep and i'm watching it on my smallass iphone screen which isn't ideal but i can't wait 3 days to get access to a bigger screen so here we go:

i need to know if that rainbow flare on buck was intentional

i might be looking too hard but that hand grabbing buck's throat and then eddie's junk could be foreshadowing for you know what, i mean who's to say?

oliver deserves a fucking oscar for his nervous smitten buck performance

tommy shaved for their date which is so old school i love it but i also miss the scruff and need to see its return asap

hints of Tommy Backstory, my beloved

the convo about renting out a home with marisol and eddie but including buck is making me think of how buck is possibly being 'rented out' to tommy in the narrative for now but later eddie will be the one to buy

i understand tommy ending their date early but WHAT HAPPENED to him picking up buck from his loft?? and don't tell me he ubered for a first date when we know he drives. although i get not wanting to drink and drive ig

also: tommy was meant to pick up buck at 8pm and now they've finished dinner so wtf is eddie and marisol doing starting their dinner at like 930pm is that an LA thing bc that's insane

'oldest italian restaurant' sign just makes me think of tommy and buck's age gap and i giggle and gasp

buck's reaction to being rejected is breaking my hearrrrt. tommy opened him up to his sexuality and buck was So Excited and now this guy is just dumping him?? who is he supposed to bounce his restless bisexual energy off now??

we're not even 10mins in so i have no idea what the bulk of this ep is gonna be about

oH YEAH THE GAY MOMS pls let them be happy

BUCK COMES OUT TO MADDIE ACCIDENTALLY like a true bisexual disaster

The Guy Thing is very much The Point buck, you sweet thick cinnamom scroll

buck is doubly an ally. he's a bially.

keep talking buck i am cackling you adorable baby bi

insane thing to have eddie post-sex with his nun gf after buck was gushing about tommy

it's okay buck, false starts with difficult convos happen, you'll get there

something something buck intending to come out to eddie and eddie explaining his sex problems all while eddie gets sweaty and swole

LIKE SEAMONKEYS! buck i adore you

buck wishes he could lend eddie a hand but he can't bc he's no homewrecker and bc eddie is quote unquote straight. not bc he himself is taken, bc the hot pilot dumped him and oh now i'm sad again :(

there's some buck+guilt [re:self worth] meta glanced over here that makes me wanna delve into some introspective reads

buck giving good advice is something that can be so personal

hen saving a rescue dog after it attacked the firefighter trying to save it as a parallel to their current foster child situation. it's just good storytelling. the dark stuff is getting hopeful

HANG OUT WITH THE BOYS eddie you don't know how perfect your words are

i really love the way they chose for buck to come out to eddie. trying to do it at a certain time didn't work for him, it was too daunting. but as soon as eddie mistook buck's date with tommy for something platonic? buck doesn't want to hide anymore. it really speaks to the human and especially the queer experience - that need to correct someone's misinterpretation (someone important to buck) of who you are.

GAY TOMMY CONFIRMED

supportive eddie and 'this doesn't change a thing between us'

buck finally getting to talk to his friend about getting dumped by a guy he was really hoping for more with

eddie's turn to give good advice to buck re:his dating life and we come full circle

buck's relief at eddie knowing and accepting him. the double-back for the hug. the comfort is all there.

i want to shower the wardrobe department in love for putting buck in that slutty blue 70s polo for his date within tommy and then the sky blue sweater and now this tight stripey number i am digging the vibes

buck hearing that he didn't screw things up with tommy, tommy just didn't want to pressure him bc the feels are mutual! and buck taking responsibility for his behaviour bc he's mature like that he's a good dude

i love lou but oliver literally glows - and i don't mean from the sunshine - he lights up every scene

the way buck gushed about tommy's confidence to maddie and now he's the confident one reassuring tommy that he wants this and that it won't be weird for tommy i am so proud of him

HOUSTON WE HAVE HAND HOLDING

sad my buddy chim was barely in this ep :(

WEDDING TEASER and we've got a Hangover situation and a missing groom omg

the writers are working their magic and we are reaping the rewards.

#911 spoilers #evantommy #.​txt #watchnotes #bucktommy #buck is bi #buddie #911 abc 7x05 #bisexual disaster #bisexual characters #summary