#so i decided to wait another year

[sillygooseesquire]

I have spent the last month absolutely plagued by demons (ADHD impulses telling me to just go and adopt a dog even though it's not a good idea with my current living situation) and today I finally submitted an application to volunteer as a dog walker with the local humane society instead. Everybody say good job vyvansebaby

#in college i told myself i would get a dog as soon as i graduated #but then i figured it was a bad idea to have to deal with a new dog in addition to the stress of starting law school #so i decided to wait another year #now here we are #and i am not good at self denial on my best days #and this is something ive been denying myself for NEARLY SIX YEARS #so you can imagine how much i am struggling #BUT #i will not bring a dog into an unsuitable living situation :( #i absolutely will not put myself in a position where i have to surrender a dog #and right now my apartment is just too small #and i dont have a yard #and also. perhaps most importantly #my roommate's cat is an evil violent high-anxiety ASSHOLE #and it would not be fair to either the cat OR the dog to force the two of them to coexist #SO I AM PUSHING MY SELF DISCIPLINE TO THE LIMITS #and doing some good volunteer work in the meantime 🙂

[junotter]

Part 2 of my modern avatar au, The Gaang (part 1)

#avatar aang #atla katara #atla toph #atla sokka #atla suki #atla #avatar the last airbender #modern avatar #atla modern au #my art #atla fanart #kataang #CAUSE THEY ARE IMPORTANT IN THIS AU #lots of inner debates on how to deal with aang's tattoos and if to make him say an actual buddhist #decided that he and monk gyatso (plus a handful of others) are/were part of a largely dying religion of a nomadic group #from the himalayan/tibetan plateau region that's a mix of buddhism hinduism and other religions (plus air nomad culture) #due to the politics of region aang and gyatso traveled around the world which is how he met katara and sokka #who were on a fieldtrip in the south (of canada) #they live in the Qikiqtaaluk Region originally in a smaller northern town but to continue their schooling they moved to iqaluit #Toph is from China and she met the gaang during the first big trip sokka katara and aang took together (at aangs begging) #meet her the summer before katara's first semester of college (so she was 18 aang 16 sokka 19 toph 16) #also by 16 aang is his own guardian cause of gyatso's death so he just does whatever p much #suki from okinawa and they meet briefly another summer of college when traveling to a bunch of islands in the pacific #suki specializes in and teaches ryukyuan martial arts (she's ryukyuan) #all reunite after sokka and katara's graduation (katara graduates a year early) during aang sokka and kataras celebration world tour #where they come into full actual contact with the fire nation crew #they are all in their twenties in these expect for monk aang who is a teen #hehe i cant wait to make more for this auuuu

[aurorangen]

Who is this guy?

It's none other than Mrs Kobayashi's grandson Riku! Riku is the only relative who lives the closest to her, so he finds the time to visit outside his busy work. Training on the slopes can be intense and he's also a model from a popular agency, but he tries to come at least once a week. When he came today, his grandmother was so excited to introduce a girl to him! Well he's been single for a while and he loves meeting new people; of course he'd be happy to go on this blind date!

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #tjol legacy #tjolc #tjolc gen 1 #eiko kobayashi #riku kobayashi #youve waited a year for me to show his face hahaha HERE HE IS!!!!! #another one of my handsome guys 🫶 #you can probably guess #it will be a love triangle and yeah tough decisions FOR MEEEEEE #no not for suzume thats right ME how do i pick they are both so 🥹 #i have already decided who (i think) but ill let the story play out first #posting early because i want to show his face 👍 hes so cute as well!

[sanchoyoscribbles]

a redraw meme! I'm a little mad at myself for not doing this for a few years (I've done a few other redraws in the meantime, but...it wouldve been cool to have a bunch of years in a row! TwT)

2007 was the earliest made on gimp, a touchpad and NO pressure (obvious with the THICK CHUNKY LINES. im 90% sure I did lineart, colored over them, then lined over them again all on 1 layer...) plus the pattern fills gimp had (the stripes and rainbows, plus the repeating space background that needed a desperate scale-up...)

2015 might be the most obviously tmm inspired style wise ( and I think...this character WAS a tmm oc, actually, so this tracks. her name was star hoshiko (yes. star star.) and she was infused with star power instead of an animal. whatever that means. in my defense I was Ten 👍) and was when I was still using sai!!

2016&17 were me trying to sort of push into semi-realism, the smaller eyes, the more realistic skirt in the '16 version and more realistic hair in the '17 version, and also the first ones done in clip studio which is still my mvp program.

2018 was the furthest from the original, me REALLY pushing orangey yellows for some reason (the darker oranges let the yellow glowy parts stand out more was probably my logic at the time?) it's also funny to see that I went back to a more cartoony/anime style between 2017! the eyes got bigger again, the hair more stylized (esp with the shading/highlighting!) yet the clothes got more detailed....

2024- this time around I wanted to try and capture elements of the original design, since it seemed I was drifting further and further away from it... those very bright lemony yellows that scare me to work with sometimes, the original stripes, that BAD dark yellow for the base of the dress... I know a lot of people will prefer the semi-realism of the earlier years but I feel like the very anime style is more FUN. and I feel a lot more confident in my posing, expressions, and I just. focus more on having fun than making her pretty. that being said I did try to add little details from the previous years designs :3 doing redraws is always so nice to reflect on style and improvement!! I totally recommend doing one if you want to, a blank version is here!

also for funsies, heres how gross the flats look. man i HATE that weird base dress shade T_T u can tell I did shift it to be SLIGHTLY warmer, just a bit....the cool-toned shading pushes it back to the lemony again tho, lol

#redraw meme #improvement meme #magical girls #original #hmmm wait a star themed mew with green eyes. ....oh. a beta cara LMAO #i mean this character is not a mew anymore bc i wanted to push her star theming BUT. CMON. thats funny #also huge shoutout to past me for deciding to interprete that chunky lineart around the lips into black lipstick? thats awesome #also no dots on my shading like i do a lot lately aaaa bc the canvas was SO small it looked weird :") next year.... #or ill do another redraw. not of this but i have a few other i could do :thinking: #no new stuff only remakes im just like hollywood fr. sorry 😔 #also yes art just a day apart insead of queueing it like a smart person might. no patience found

[papa-evershed]

RJC + laughter (requested by: anonymous)

#rob james-collier #robert james-collier #rob james collier #robert james collier #mine #okay anon i know this isn't exactly what you asked for although the follow up anon you sent me was helpful 😭 #but between some technical issues and just being utterly exhausted i decided to just go for some good shots of him laughing #even if he wasn't quite collapsing i'm so sorry pls forgive me #but figured i'd throw something together instead of waiting another 84 years #but anyway #his laugh > everyone else's #sorry i don't make the rules #he laughs with his whole him #a++ would recommend to a friend

[bigothteddies]

I *am* going to cause problems for myself at this job by spreading a countless amount of fibs over my relationship status

#unimportant thoughts #its none of your business ! #one person I told I have a partner #one person I told i went through a long term relationship ending last year #one person i told i had a hot date last friday after work and thats why i needed to leave early (i didnt) #that person told another person whom decide to give me a pep talk on how to get and keep women #and now thinks that I am single and mingling out there #(he was interested in knowing if it was a ‘new girl’ or an ‘old girl’ i went on the date with #(i told him new and then sat through him telling me how to be confident with women in order to keep their attention) #anyways this is fun and will surely have no consquenes on my life whatsoever :p #cant wait to take meatz to the company party in 6 months :p #genuinely hate people irl knowing ny relationships though like its none of your business #I know uou wont understand and I know if you find out im dating someone youll start assigning us monog traits #which feels so gross #and i csnt be bothered explaining polyamory to people its not my job to make them okay with that

[deus-ex-mona]

starting the year ✨wrong✨

#(this is about work ok. long rant in the tags bc auauauauauauauuauauauauauauauaaaaaaaa) #i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao #first i was stuck doing 2 workstations bc this freakin’ b o z o of a coworker decided to take the week off without prior notice #and *t h e n* the internal components of one of said workstations kicked the bucket and was only replaced today. sads. #rip to our wasted time and futile fixing efforts though. flashtag wetried #that’s not all t h o u g h i was told that i have to jump to the other work shift bc one of my coworkers is resigning #b u t the thing is. all of the other dudes in that shift are from [insert bordering country] and always speak in their nation’s language #so i won’t be able to communicate well with them for the most part ​esp s o bs #and if [insert country here] has a national holiday and a l l of them decide to take the day off.. #well. um. ahahahaha. im ✨screwed✨ #(but speaking of taking the day off… one of said guys on that shift has an approved leave for cny. which is funny bc he’s not even chinese) #(rips if the actual other chinese dude on that team has his leave request rejected bc of that guy lol. happy cny to him ig) #a n d also i was made to (sorta) teach these two new coworkers (of sorts) the workstation i’m at for the week #b u t the thing is. i do everything here by left (didn’t receive formal training either lmao sadge) #and i also couldn’t explain anything well in general bc it seems like my flow of thoughts can’t streamline itself ig #so i think i confused the poor guys more than anything. but like. why me??????? aaaauauaaaaaaaaaa #idk why one of them came back for more ‘education’ from me thoughhhhh #i’ve tried teaching ‘em stuff at another workstation before this and my feedback was ‘wait slow down you talk too fast’ s o o o o . #ig i’ll have to guide them though again in the morning though. sighs. this wasnt in my job description :( #speaking of job descriptions though… this h e l l a annoying guy no one likes who resigned a few months ago (to much rejoicing)… #is!!!!! coming!!!! back!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #w h y. like. w h y. why is he so attached to this company he l l o? why is our manager so attached to him helloooooooo????? why him??????? #our workloads literally t r i p l e when he’s around bc he’s just the way he is. auauauauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaa #aaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna work aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #science industry (derogatory) questionable laboratory conditions (derogatory) #felt cute; thought about retiring early idk

[oatbugs]

. anyway after writing the tags 4 this post i told my research partner i will no longer follow his dreams lmao. still helping w it but i need to engage in research that i find satisfying

#i think ive been waiting for something for a while and i will spend the next year waiting for it too #i thought i felt panic but i have decided to read it as anticipation. the thrill of rejection or of moving forward or the latter as #a result of the former. i left you with your backpack unattended in the cafe because on fridays i am done #putting my life on hold for another whim-without-a-warning #this cross country service is delayed by 26 minutes so i will grab a bucket and start shovelling the water away from the tracks #everyone is moving on in some different way and im sorry if you think im mean for telling you getting so drunk will disable you from #recording your brainwaves effectively but it seems like you think i owe you an awful lot. one year ago in four days my friend got me hegel's #science of logic for my birthday and i thanked him for proving to me the existence of things this is what i do he said #and then he will spend the rest of his life breathing philosophy and i dont want to spend the rest of my life #breathing someone elses dreams i wait for the moment of realisation. this is now a 30 minute delay. i was supposed to worship beautiful #things and that is what i will do. i think i have a best friend and i know i have a lover and i know to #restrict my love the way you have. im sorry. i hope you understand when i tell you. i am now sitting on the floor in the luggage section of #this incredibly busy train and i saw a photo of her with her boyfriend and her hair in braids smiling like a fool this is the #except a week ago you told me you almost took too much this time to live. you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul and you know you #have already changed the world and it somehow was not enough. now you are smiling without any makeup on next to him #and yesterday you cried in an airport in the states when you were too full of love. this is the most extraordinary human being i have met. #tomorrow he heads off to princeton while his best friend heads to harvard. he goes there to make the world a better place. he is the most #extraordinary person i have ever met. the issue with human beings is that we are incredibly good at almost dying and keeping going. #you try to kill yourself and publish a paper and give a talk. you negotiate the seperation between your own parents and submit another #phd application. i am surrounded by extraordinary people with extraordinary minds and incredibly broken happy hearts. #i only see you smile when you talk about robotics. i still dont know how manifolds work and i love the concept anyway. i dont know. #i do know that i refuse to live unsatisfied. #you can keep drinking. im going to drink this reality up #i think i was a horrible person and i refuse to engage with that mentality again no matter what it takes.

[hmsmilkbone]

I am sorry. I have so much work, and I am very pregnant so I just don't have time to respond to stuff on here as much (or draw, really.) Hoping I can get into a schedule soon which allows me to paint and chat more :(

#i have so little free time #i worked 12 hours today #im just tired #technically i could have been painting the last 2 hours of relaxation #but tbh i am falling asleep #i think it will calm down soon tho #ill do work work in the morning do a class then hopefully have enough left in me for cooking chores and painting/chatting #whew #idk how im going to do this with a kid #trying.... not to think about that actually #wait. no. #frustrating thing: there's no preschool around here for us #preschool in our area is only available if your family is extremely impoverished #there are for-profit daycares and they cost about $2000-$4000 a month #girl i cannot swing that lmao #sigh #i hate being in the US #everybody wants you to have kids but no one wants to do anything with them #like be fr rn no one has the fucking money for $2500/month childcare #im glad people way under the poverty line have good school opportunities but also.. why #the school mentioned many times that they can barely afford to stay open #man #so many people call them and are willing to pay #i understand why they must prioritize people that cant or theyd get pushed out #but theres obviously 1) not enough funding for that school 2) a real threat to lower income families to be able to get in if higher income #families decide to elbow them out and 3) not enough schools here #they are building another preschool which will be available to families who work at certain local businesses #but lmao.... get this... there are only 20 spots available for their preschool. 20. girl what. and it costs $2k/month. #my mom called me the other day after i texted about all this and said she could watch our kid. for $25/hour #feeling a bit cornered here. it's going to be a long 5 or 6 years until kindergarten

[kimmkitsuragi]

not my first reaction to this information as i learned it during the intermission of challengers (yes i finally went to see it) and i was having a lowkey breakdown through the intermission and the beginning of the second half a little bit but ummm: well of fucking course i literally dont deserve anything

#why did i even try this hard. i dont think i deserve anything tbh #dont mind me sounding dramatic im actually fine like lol #im sad but ok but also like. i got used to being a failure and a disappointment this last year so #i feel very tired now. it wasnt a bad day overall and im happy i decided against going alone today #bc i wouldve literally ended up crying in public if i was alone lmfao #ah. ahhhhh :/ i really really really was hoping for a better outcome #stupid girl as always #anyway i really am fine i just need to be dramatic for a moment. i truly do not deserve anything i get ever im sorry #if anyone read until this point and wondering what the fuck couldve happened that got me like this #well it's truly not that important in the grand scheme of things and im being stupid #got wait listed for another scholarship lmao </3 #truly stupid and foolish of me to even think from the start that i could do this lmao #what's even more stupid is im still like well. well 🤠 hey maybe 🤗 #i just know im going to be feeling extremely guilty for even existing even if i end up being able to go at this point lmao #and it's so stupid to even write all this. over something like this when people have real problems and stuff lmao #truly what did i think make me worthy of this chance im so not special and dont deserve this etc etc #all this negative self talk and i will still be sleeping like 😴😴😴 still hoping for the best dont worry #and that's because im stupid #🗒 #i will drink tea this day has been lacking tea so critically :/

[whenthegoldrays]

🗿

#wait crikey my brain has been so fried by everything in the last day that I kind of forgot to make the connection #of “out of the oven into the microwave” aka living the same disaster again but in speedrun mode with the same results #(and maybe actually learning your lesson seeing it all happen so quickly) #<- is basically EXACTLY what happened to me last summer with me resigning a crush of two years that I finally realized would only #break me worse the longer I held out hope #and then ju s t as I was getting out of that I fell headfirst into another crush where basically all my fears from the past crush came true #(i mean every. single. one) #(won’t elaborate on what they were but just know that it was kinda scary how specifically it matched) #but in the space of three days instead of two years #and because of that horrific weekend and the embarrassment I brought on myself I decided to just. not look at boys at all this year #or for as long as possible perhaps #and like. wow #OUT OF THE OVEN AND INTO THE MICROWAVE FR #elly's posts #elly oversharing hours dhhdgsgs

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way. #so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

[soft-serve-soymilk]

ok I think this april fools joke is dangerous bc I’m starting to trick myself ^^;

#‘Oooh Dolphin posted something…. wait a minute’ #just pav things #having a cloud strife moment fr #another one of my emo loves when it came to characters in the past <3 #back when Archie was in his hallucinatory era (early 2019) that was another blorbo I tried growing his personality from~ #I think this is when Archie gained his status as a human experiment too ^^ that’s still consistent today :3 #however his relationship to spiriters was different bc they didn’t work the same back then #he had a stronger hunger for power then and they provided ✨ #but when I decided to rework things and connect them to his mask things became very different :3 #So yeah Archie was built in years of self-loathing traumatised awkward little bitches so really #in hindsight it makes too much sense for why he ended up being so resonant with the bestie <3

[dandyshucks]

the latest hubris project i am considering is ... I think my brother has a set of carving knives from a few years ago that he is probably not using, and I can probably acquire some wood fairly easily (we have lots for firewood, not sure of the quality though) so ... TECHNICALLY,, i might be able to carve my own puppet. but also that's bonkers yonkers to consider doing. however, it'd be extremely fun and cool LMAO

#although i doubt my brother would be willing to lend me his knives bc he's very possessive about his belongings #which is fine. but i am very careful with things i borrow and very quick to lend my own items out. so i just get a little :( abt it #i'll have to wait a couple months for everything to thaw anyways so i'll keep stewing over this and decide if its smth i want to try JFDKJL #i have done carving before in an afterschool group for indigenous students in elementary school #but its been. ten? years? JFSDKL i remember it wasn't as difficult as i thought it'd be though so :3 perhaps i'll give it another go.... #I JUST WANT A LIL GUY TO DOTE ON IDK #dandy.cmd

[lenteur]

random thoughts about tell me that you love me, episode twelve

(the rest is under the cut because i'm worried about your eyes having to read ALL OF THAT and this post might contain spoilers)

Not even two minutes into the episode and a lot has already happened. Mo eun was adopted. I did not expect that. At all!

When the mom said "I don't want our daughter to become a child too mature for her age to open up to her mom" I had to take a moment because that hit close to home. I'm sure it has happened to way too many children but when something traumatic (no matter what it is) happens, children have a tendency to keep things to themselves. It's like they "magically" become adults and they want to protect those around them by not sharing what's bothering them. I haven't read any study on this topic so please take what I'm saying with a grain of salt (I'm only talking from experience) but children have this kind of sixth sense where they know when something extremely serious is happening so they begin acting like adults when it shouldn't be the case. The need to protect those around them is even bigger when it involves their family. A child doesn't want their mom and dad to be sad so they'll try their best to protect them even though they (the kid) shouldn't do that. I'm having a hard time trying to explain this because my emotions are getting the best of me as I'm writing this. I got emotional watching this drama, but that sentence alone has unlocked something deep in me 💔

I'm just confused as to why do hun would admit to stalking seo kyung and burning the college building just like that. He might have heard the mysterious woman say it was him on the phone but those are just rumors. As far as we know, the real culprit hasn't been arrested? Idk man I'm just meh about this revelation. It feels rushed...

Do hun judging seo kyung for still having feelings for jin woo when he's the one who has stalked his crush and burnt a building because of her. He should look at himself in the mirror before making such comments about others.

Seeing the scene of seo kyung being stalked made me think back on her and jin woo's breakup. When she got home after finding she was actually being stalked, her first instinct was to call jin woo to be reassured. But then, she realised she wouldn't be able to hear his voice (because he's deaf). It's moments like these that must have been the cause of their breakup. Of course, she'd want to be reassured by her boyfriend when such a traumatic event happens. Hearing his voice would have helped a lot. But mostly, being able to vent or cry (whether on the phone or face to face) must have been the best solution to appease her heart. Unfortunately, she couldn't do any of that with jin woo. While it could be weird to some people that she'd break up with him because of his disability (she has a deaf father so she should know what a relationship with someone that is deaf is like), I can kind of understand why she did it. She was still young at the time (early 20s I assume) and I think her enthusiasm and him (maybe?) being her first love, seo kyung let her heart make the decision of being in a relationship with jin woo. It's only several months later that the more rational part of her took over and made her realise what a relationship with a deaf man entails. I think it's important to see that even though someone is related to a disabled person, that doesn't mean said someone will understand everything about their disabled partner and things will flow easily. Even though two people have the same disability that doesn't mean the disability will have the same impact on them. There are varying degrees of disability (if I can call it that). What I'm trying to say is sure seo kyung has "some experience" with deaf people because of her father but that doesn't mean the relationship with jin woo was easy, far from that. When feelings are involved, everything gets even more complicated. Anyway, I'll stop here because I'm only eight minutes into the episodes lol

Linking to the previous comment I made, we see mo eun facing the same struggle as seo kyung. She's having a hard time communicating with him because of his disability. She's going through stuff yet she can't directly tell him because she has to think about it and then start to sign to him or text him. It can feel lonely because she's living something while he has no idea what's happening. I wonder how she'll handle that obstacle. We've obviously seen how seo kyung decided to end things between her and jin woo. I don't want that to happen to the main couple but I can't help but wonder what the consequences of that will be. It's a lot to carry on one's shoulder. Mo eun is learning things about jin woo's past from other people. Things that are serious. Up until now she's always let him talk about himself at HIS own pace, she never pushed him to admit stuff. But now I feel like she might try and push him a bit more because there's a lot of stuff she doesn't know about.

On a side note, ji yu and ki hyun are such great friends. They're there for mo eun and jin woo no matter what. I'm glad they have amazing support.

I did not expect this episode to make me so emotional. I need to lie down and digest everything that happened.

I'll give it a 9/10

#new tmylm random thoughts post after 84 years #who would've thought this would happen? #i decided to continue the show #i knew if i waited another day i'd drop it so yeah i'm proud of myself eehee #ngl i don't feel so good after watching this episode #it hit me right in the feels wow #kdrama #tell me that you love me #random(al) thoughts

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did #bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried #another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one #machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem #god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8 #and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration #ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a #personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up #bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like #yayyy vacation soon ☺️ #ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine #ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought #my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home #god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great #i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc #thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days #and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst #move. bc again. im barely a functional person #god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive #down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno #unrelated