#so he’s kinda trans in that gender just is not something he processes as part of who he is but also if your take is different I love u | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pedropascallme · 8 months

Note

HIII ok i adored ur Jim fic i love him SOO BADDDD WAHHH !!!! i was wondering if i could request a Jim smut of some kind??? i’m a trans man so i would love an afab reader w gender neutral/masc pronouns but of course only whatever ur comfy w:) and if u don’t wanna do that anything else jim related pls i love him SOOOO BADDD!!!! okay sorry for the huge block of text ily and ur work is god tier bro.

The New Normal

Pairing: Jim x gn!afab!Reader

Summary: "You felt the sudden urge to kiss him, to grab him and pull him close to you, tell him to join you in the shower. "

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), oral (m & f receiving), fingering, p in v sex, praise kink, kinda almost soft!dom Jim? Reader is AFAB but no use of gendered pronouns, uhhh brief allusion to 9/11 blink and you'll miss it, if I missed anything please let me know!

AN: Max NEVER apologize for asking for Jim smut I am ALWAYS looking for a reason to write Jim smut. Also forgive the cross tagging but the only way I will ever reach other Cillian sluts is if I use the Thomas Shelby tag.

America was different than you’d expected it to be.

In the shows and movies, there wasn’t much diversity; either you were on a farm, or you were in the big city. The speech patterns were always overdramatized, too, and when you first reached the McGuire base in New Jersey, you were a bit disappointed when nobody shouted that “they were walkin’ he-ya!” Even more disappointed when you reached Brooklyn and were told that the accent was of a dying variety.

But in the grand scheme of things, it was so…normal. It was England before the outbreak, but with smaller busses and slower trains. You didn’t really know how to feel about it, about how the rest of the world carried on so unconcerned while the island you grew up in fell to pieces. In a way, relieved, but a small part of you felt almost offended that nobody was holding constant vigils.

What offended you more, though, was the realization that the process of being granted asylum was not something that happened quickly. While you were appreciative to Hannah’s distant cousins who had agreed to sponsor you while you awaited the business to be over—which could take years, you’d learned—you were nauseated that you still had to prove yourself in order to be allowed to stay. The lawyers, doctors, soldiers, and judges you’d met with explained that the process would go smoothly, that it was something that had to be done, not due to the nature of the thing you were escaping, but due to those who might abuse any leniency the country showed.

The world really hadn’t changed at all.

~~~

“Finished already?” You hummed at Jim when he walked through the door. Hannah’s family had taken you all shopping when you first arrived—a relief, really, to be able to change out of the fatigues the air force had given you—and Jim, despite his usual attire being casual, at best, looked so…handsome, now, with his skin not caked in blood, or dirt, or sweat. His hair was growing back in and he was wearing jeans that actually fit him. His shirt read “I<3NY” and even though you told him it looked ridiculous when he had first picked it up, you couldn’t deny that it hugged his arms in the right places.

“Not much to be done. You stitched me up so well.” He smiled at you, crossing the apartment to join you on the couch. “Doctor said he’d like to meet you.”

“I’ve met too many people this month.” You curled your legs up under you and stretched your arms over your head. “Never thought I’d say it, but I miss the apocalypse.” You leaned your head back.

Jim exhaled through his nose, amused, leaning himself back on the couch to face you. “No, you don’t.”

“I don’t,” You agreed, “It’s just…”

“Too much, too soon.”

“I guess.” You stared at each other for a while, not moving, not speaking. “I wish I could fast forward.” Jim tilted his head into the cushion he was leaning on, prompting you to continue. “I want to be used to it by now. Wanna be able to walk down the street and see a missing poster and still have hope.” You shuddered when you remembered the posters plastered on the train station walls, how familiar one disaster could feel when compared to another. “I want to feel normal. Everything here is so normal. Why am I not normal yet?” You didn’t have the energy to continue pouring over your emotions, perfectly fine with leaving it on that note.

“You’re not normal.” Jim leaned forward. “Neither am I. Neither is Hannah—s’got nothing to do with—” He waved around the two of you, implying the ordeal you’d lived through. You nodded in agreement. “And we’ll never be their kind of normal. Might just be ‘cause we’re English. Heard they had a war with us here, way back.” Jim deadpanned, and you smiled at him.

“I think I just need a shower.” You sighed, still looking at him. You felt the sudden urge to kiss him, to grab him and pull him close to you, tell him to join you in the shower. You felt your skin flush at the thought. You hadn’t been able to do much of anything but go to different meetings since you got here. One after another, it had made it difficult to find time for yourself, let alone time for you and Jim. Stolen kisses here and there, cuddles under the sheets of your bed, calling out “I love you” before the door closed behind you—there had been no time to enjoy each other.

Not to mention, you lived in a rented apartment with thin walls, and Hannah’s room was next to yours.

You hesitated to get up, and Jim sensed your delay. He brought a hand up to your hair, petting you.

“Hannah’s gone for the night. Sleepover.” You muttered, trying to be sly instead of asking for anything outright. Jim cocked a brow in jest.

“Just us, then?”

“Just us.” You confirmed. Tension formed between the two of you, and you swallowed.

“We can—can I join you in the shower?” His words were rushed, and he looked down when he spoke, only looking back up at you to gage your reaction once the question was complete. “You can say n—”

“Yes.” You felt breathless.

~~~

It was almost laughable, the two of you getting undressed together. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, a shared bedroom holds plenty of space for two people to dress and undress in front of each other, but the expectation made all the difference. Jim’s “I<3NY” shirt was now discarded on the floor, his jeans unbuttoned as he helped you out of your own outfit. Your mouth fell open slightly when he peeled your shirt off of you, the feeling of his hands leaving a warm trail over your sides and a wet feeling between your legs. You reached for the waistband of his jeans, looping your fingers over the denim and into the boxers he wore underneath and beginning to pull down. He laughed quietly as he watched you struggle to move them down his waist.

“Don’t have to do all the work.” He placed his hands over yours and helped you remove his clothes. In turn, he found the button of your jeans and quickly undid them, letting you pull down the tight material and exposing yourself to him. All that remained were your panties, and Jim let out a low whistle when he reached out to brush the lace with his knuckles. “Pretty baby.”

You pushed against his chest lightly. “Shower.” You reminded him, but at this point it didn’t really matter to you. You whined slightly when his hand fell lower over your sex, nearly cupping you.

“Got all night.” He pulled down the remaining fabric, leaving you completely naked for him. And that’s how you felt—naked. Almost scared, as if now that your underwear was off and you were stripped completely, he would reconsider and not want this anymore—not want you anymore. You realized how stupid that sounded when Jim stood up at eye-level, grinning at you. You looked at him sheepishly as you stepped out of the panties pooled at your feet and toward him. You reached out to trace what remained of the wound on his abdomen, letting your fingers kiss the spots you hoped to eventually place your mouth on.

Suddenly you were in his arms, swooped up bridal style as he walked you into the bathroom. You heard yourself laugh nervously, and you buried your face into his neck. Feeling bold, you licked a stripe up to his pulse point, and he shuddered.

“Don’t wanna drop you.” He protested your action, but he lifted his head slightly to allow you better access. You did it again, letting your tongue linger and drift to his earlobe, nipping at it, feeling more and more comfortable with each step Jim took. He sighed dreamily, then placed you down on your feet next to the tub. He turned the handle, pulling the curtain back and taking your hand to guide you under the water. You all but pulled him in after you, and though he stumbled at first, he found his footing right in front of you. You watched the way the water seemed the frame his face; droplets running down his cheekbones and off of his chin. You kissed him, letting the water fall over your face, tasting it when you opened your mouth to welcome his tongue. You sighed into his mouth, a perfect combination of his taste and that of the water settling on your taste buds, and it went straight to your core. He leaned away from you, wrapping an arm around your waist and examining how the water matched the curve of your breasts. He kissed your chest, sucking on the skin just enough to make faint spots appear. You combed your fingers through his hair, closing your eyes.

“Normally,” He licked over what would soon become a dark purple spot, “I use the shower to wash up—reflect, sometimes.” He kissed his way up your chest and neck before straightening himself out and kissing your nose. “This is a much better use of my time.” You rolled your eyes, putting gentle pressure on his neck to encourage him to lean down and kiss you. He pulled you tighter to him, and you could feel his erection against your thigh. He pushed against you, enjoying the bit of friction you provided him, and you heard him grunt quietly. His hands found purchase on your ass, squeezing the flesh gently and using the angle to draw you even closer.

“Y’know—oh!” You were cut off by an especially hard squeeze as Jim’s hands continued to roam over your ass, “I do need—I need to wash my hair…”

“Tomorrow.” Was all Jim said, reaching between your bodies to place his cock where your stomach met his crotch. You gasped at the heavy feeling of him against you, and your own hand made its way down to grab hold of him. Jim choked on his own breath, eyes fluttering shut when you began to move your wrist up and down his length. Out of curiosity, you looked down to watch your ministrations, wanting to fully enjoy the view that you had so desperately craved for so long. His cock was long, and you could see and feel the veins that ran up the extent of his shaft to the pink of his tip. You moaned quietly at the sight, hoping Jim didn’t think you pathetic for the pleasure you got out of stroking him. His mouth agape, he shut his eyes tight, trying not to think about how good your hand felt. You kneeled before him, and planted a kiss on his head, licking a stripe over him.

“O—h,” he was panting, “Fuck, baby.” You watched his chest rise and fall dramatically as you took his tip between your lips, swiping your tongue over and around it a few times before beginning to inch the rest of him inside of your mouth. You moved your head up and down, gagging slightly when you felt the pressure of holding him too deep for too long against the back of your throat. “Oh, fu—yeah, that’s it. Good, baby, so good.” You hummed in appreciation of his praise, the vibrations making him bite his lip and furrow his brow in concentration, desperately trying to ward off his high before he had gotten to explore you fully. You pulled your mouth off of his cock with a pop that softly echoed in the shower, and he watched as you planted more kisses along him.

He grabbed your chin and tilted your head up to look at him. The vision in front of you made you feel dizzy; Jim breathing hard, cock bobbing against his stomach, wet from your spit and from the shower, hair falling over his ears, draped in a blanket of water. You rubbed your thighs together, now pruned hand resting on his knee for, what? Permission, maybe?

Jim helped you up from the floor, and you watched him turn the shower handle. In the brief moment before the water stopped completely, it turned freezing cold, and you felt goosebumps erupt over you. You brought yourself closer to Jim, both in an attempt to find warmth and in a silent plea that he continue what had begun in the shower.

Dripping wet—in more ways than one—you found yourself back in your bedroom. Lying on your back, Jim looked over you, then began kissing over the marks he had made on you in the shower. You whimpered, a hand finding his hair and lacing your fingers through his short locks. You pulled slightly when his lips wrapped around one of your nipples, and he groaned in pleasure at the sensation. His hand slowly traced down your stomach, fingers delicately finding their way to your clit before pressing on it lightly.

“Jim—!” Your exclamation motivated him to continue. He sat up a bit, kneading your bud with one hand and holding your cheek in another, holding eye contact as he slid one finger into your soaking wet center. You threw your head back, only then realizing that you hadn’t even had the time to pleasure yourself in God only knows how long. He curled his finger upwards, and your back arched into him. He smirked, clearly proud of what he was doing to you. He shuffled backwards on the bed, still pumping a finger in and out of you while he positioned himself between your legs. You felt the mattress shift under his weight when he straightened himself out onto his stomach, propped up with one elbow.

“So pretty.” You felt his breath fanning over your cunt, and you squirmed. Jim leaned into you, kissing your inner thighs while you wiggled your hips in an attempt to get his attention where you needed it the most. When he finally licked a lazy stripe over your clit, you let out an absentminded sigh, pushing yourself up to him in encouragement. He removed his finger from you, and you whined at the sudden empty feeling, though he immediately made up for the absence of his fingers with his tongue. He continued to lap at you, letting your slick coat his chin, nose brushing your clit. He sucked lightly on your bud, and your hands found his hair again, not sure if you wanted to push him in further, let him taste you until you screamed, or push him away, as your thighs began to tremble. He slid two fingers back into you and twisted them back and forth while his tongue darted over your clit. You squeezed his fingers, moans spilling from your mouth.

“C’mon baby, so good,” he removed his mouth from your core to coo at you, “wanna see you cum for me.” It was whispered into your skin, and you felt his words echo through your body. His lips found their place over your clit once more, and he sucked harder, fingers pumping in and out of you faster.

“Oh, ye—yes, like that, like that, please!” You couldn’t stop talking, couldn’t stop begging if you tried. Had falling over the edge always felt this good? You didn’t stop to ponder it, busy feeling your body fall victim to the pleasure Jim was gifting you. You moaned, trying to grab at the man who had buried himself between your legs, but he was fully content to stay where he was until he knew you’d ridden out your orgasm. You cried out his name, back arching, body granting him even more access to your pussy, and when you felt him moan at the taste of you, you came hard for him. He placed soft kisses over your cunt, and you couldn’t help the moan you let out when he began pulling his fingers out of you.

You were still panting when he kissed you. Your arms came to rest around his neck, breathing heavily through your nose as you slipped your tongue into his mouth. “Taste so good,” Jim was also clearly short of breath, “you taste that, baby?” His lips found yours again, and he let you suck gently on his tongue, let you taste yourself on him. You shivered; it felt so dirty, Jim still damp with your wet, encouraging you to enjoy the taste your cum had left on him, dipping his tongue deep into your eager mouth and speaking to you like you belonged to him.

You did belong to him, and the thought made your eyes roll back into your head.

He pulled you into his arms, flipping over so that you were lying on top of him. You found the strength to push yourself up, hands planted on his chest, to straddle him. The feeling of his cock between your legs, still hard, and all for you, made you feel frantic, and you began to roll your hips over him, feeling him tense under you.

“That’s right,” he watched you with hooded eyes, “so eager.”

“Want you to fuck me.” You felt the tip of his cock push between your folds after one especially long roll of your hips, and you didn’t care if you looked pathetic anymore. You’d waited long enough; been so good, so ignorant of the forbidden fruit. One taste, and now you were helpless—completely at his mercy.

“God, say it again.”

“I want you to fuck me, Jim. Please.” You licked your lips before slipping the bottom one between your teeth. His eyes flitted over you, taking in the way you were begging, the way you sat bare, eagerly waiting for his cock. How had he let so much time pass before giving you what you both needed? He lifted you by the waist, encouraging you to stay kneeling above him slightly as he reached another hand down to line himself up with you. The split second before you lowered yourself down onto him felt like forever, but he watched, in awe of you, as you lowered yourself down onto him. You moaned for him when you felt his tip breach your hole, reaching for his chest and grasping at nothing while you continued to take him, inch by inch. You heard him groan out your name, breath going uneven when he finally bottomed out. You stayed like that for a moment, both of you in a trance-like state: You breathed in sync, gazing at each other, smiling like morons.

“I love you.” Jim whispered, placing a hand on your hip and squeezing. You leaned forward, steadying yourself on his shoulders.

“I love you.” You kissed him again, gentler, slower than the previous times. You did have all night—you had a lifetime of all nights with each other.

You began rocking back and forth slowly, allowing yourself time to adjust to the size of him, the feeling of being so full. You felt the tip of his cock brush against your g-spot almost immediately, making you gasp as you chased the feeling of his head nudging you closer to another high.

“God—fuck, you feel so good.” Jim praised, reaching the hand that wasn’t on your hip up to squeeze at your breasts. He licked his finger before bringing it back up, pinching your nipple and rolling over it with his thumb and forefinger. You moaned, back arching, and you started to bounce up and down on him. Your nails dug into the skin on his shoulders, but he didn’t seem to care, too busy bucking up into your cunt, drunk off the feeling of your juices dripping down his length and over his balls.

He moved both his hands over your hips, his fingers digging into the flesh of your curves, guiding your movements while you rode him.

“Cum for me again, baby. So good for me, one more time.” He started fucking up into you harder, the sweet noises you made spurring him on. “You can do it, yeah? So good—fuck—so good for me.” Now he was practically begging, slamming you down onto his cock while he pushed you towards another orgasm.

“I—oh, fuck, me, yes! Like that, Jim—yes!” You fell forward, curling yourself up on his chest and bringing your knees up slightly higher next to his ribs to allow him more ease, lifting you up and down. You mumbled incoherently into his neck, licking and kissing and nipping at him while he continued with deep, hard thrusts. You sucked a mark on his neck, and he groaned out your name, one hand coming down over your clit to coax a second orgasm from you.

“Fucking—oh, cum for me, baby. Cum on me like this.” And maybe it was the way you felt his fingers pushing bruises into your skin, or the way he breathlessly demanded you commit such a filthy act, or the way he seemed to be getting just as much enjoyment out of your pleasure as you were; but when you felt his cock pushed forcefully against your g-spot in time with the way he played with you clit, you couldn’t stop the scream that erupted from your lungs, or the way you chanted his name through sobs of pleasure. You clenched around him, squirming and sensitive and so full of his cock. You saw stars, saw how every second of your life had led to this moment, and when the shockwave of pleasure coursed through your body, all you could do was thank the man who had made you feel so good.

“Fu—ck, oh my god,” Jim groaned through clenched teeth, trying to delay his own orgasm so he could enjoy the way you squeezed him for as long as he could. He practically threw you down onto his cock, forcing himself as deep as you’d let him go, and at that moment, the only word that mattered to him was your name. “Where—where can I cum? Tell me, baby, where?” He was gasping, so close to the edge.

“Inside. Please, Jim, want it inside.” You knew it was reckless, knew you’d have to buy a pill later, but the pros far outweighed the cons.

Your words were all it took to send Jim hurtling over the precipice. He pushed himself deep into your cunt, painting your walls with his spend, both of you shivering at the feeling. You moaned quietly into his skin, and Jim wheezed as he took gulping breaths in an attempt to regulate his breathing. You felt his hand come to rest on your back, stroking up and down, the other coming up to your hair, tempting you out of your hiding spot, nuzzled in his neck.

“Ok?” He breathed.

“Mm.” You hummed, rubbing your cheek against his, comforted by the way your faces squished together. “More than ok.”

“I should’ve—I didn’t want you to feel, I d’know—” He couldn’t think of the right words. “I love you. Just wanted you to feel how much I love you.”

You smiled, fucked out and sleepy and satisfied. “You did a good job,” you kissed him, “did I?”

“More than good.” He smiled, throwing your own words back at you in reassurance.

“Will you stay inside a little longer?” You whispered, still relishing in the way he filled you up.

“God, yes,” Jim almost laughed, “don’t have to ask.” You ran your thumb over his cheek, eyelids heavy.

“Is this the new normal?” You posed the question, remembering your earlier rant.

“Yeah. Think so.” Jim splayed his hand out over your back.

“Good.”

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy imagine #jim 28 days later #28 days later fanfiction #28 days later #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #oppenheimer

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elifinchsart · 2 months

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some Tillman and Mike gender headcannons/thoughts since i have them mostly coherently typed up and they are important To Me. these are not Universal Trans Experiences just my thoughts for these characters cw for discussing transphobia, dysphoria, fatphobia & bad parents

I think Tillman absolutely did not figure out he was trans until like his early twenties. My headcannon about his mom Harmony (Crab NPC from Discipline Era), her whole thing is control + image. (This led Tillman to also feel like he needs to be in control of his image but, unfortunately it’s easier to control a bad image than a good one)

But part of Harmony's image control was appearing as a perfect rich family so Tillman was expected to dress and behave very femininely. And his thought process went “I hate wearing dresses and getting dressed up like this and I don’t know why I hate it so much. It must be because something is wrong with me and it must be because I’m ugly” + that got mixed in with his weight because I think he’s just naturally chubby/fat. So that was one of those things that’s dysphoria that you don’t realize that’s dysphoria until later. Tillman absolutely he had the trans experience of I’m going to only wear baggy hoodies and beanies lol. Anyway this all manifested into him having a very antagonistic relationship with his body and food (esp bc Harmony is v the passive aggressive “Oh you’re eating/wearing that?” sort of parent. This is also part of the reason he was nasty as a teen/young adult because he was in a lot of pain that he didn’t realize was pain-just that everything was uncomfortable and pissed him off. Figuring out that he was trans, getting top surgery and going on hrt actually helped mellow him out a lot. Being able to just Exist in his body without dressing it up to impress anyone else helped him so so much.

I think Mike was also very helpful in getting him to a better place with his body and especially food as something that should be enjoyed not rationed out or brings misery. Mike loves to make food for people so they had a bit of a roadbump when they first started dating and Tillman refused to eat much of Mike made and they had to talk about it. Mike was very patient and not pushy for once and let Tillman come around on his own. Mike also hyping Tillman up as the hottest man ever helped too LOL. I think Tillman had a lot of apprehension about transitioning wrt still being desirable which is something I’ve def felt and I know other trans men have too

I think Mike had a lot of gender emotions growing up but they never fully formed into anything understandable for him because he was like “well I’m not not a man” and he didn’t really have access to like Knowing About “Weird” Gender Identities despite knowing a trans person (Jaylen) and she only ever had Jaylen to compare to and they have very different genders haha. And then I think in college and after she kinda was like well y’know men can be feminine, men can wear dresses, it doesn’t have to be a gender thing so I’m not going to think about it too hard. I think also she had this idea that maybe she was faking it or not trans enough or people would think he was doing it for attention or to seem punk. Also incredibly stupid logic but I think she was like “I don't want to look like I'm just copying Jaylen” which is a silly thing to worry about but nevertheless. And then Blaseball happens and again he doesn’t really have time to think about it. So its only post shadowing and in therapy that she finally talks to more trans and nonbinary folks about their experiences and starts to approach it from a “what makes me happiest” pov rather than “well I'm not miserable” pov because its a very Mike thing to try to avoid being too happy as a coping mechanism. And because of all this she gets to experiment and decides he likes having a lot of gender especially if it contradicts each other (she/her pronouns on masc days, he/him while dressed femme, beard + dress etc.)

#blaseball #tillman henderson #mike townsend

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fanonical · 7 months

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Trans Hyrule sounds so fun! Did Link figure out that she's trans before being asleep for a hundred years? Or did she figure it out in the process of figuring out everything else when she had amnesia? Do people know and refer to her as a girl or does she have to come out to everyone? And what about Zelda? She's an academic has she stumbled upon things like this in books? Really looking forward to hearing more about this!

so i think that Link worked it out the she was a girl the first time, pre-calamity, but she lost it with the amnesia because it was so tied up in he relationships with others across Hyrule; the fic will explore her filling out the gaps in her memory & thus relearning who she is from her adventures across the wilds.

i don't think that Zelda specifically found out anything about transition & the history of gender in Hyrule (& beyond) from her until she went looking for it. the reason why is twofold:

i want her to be able to start looking for historical texts about medical transition, gender in history & culture, etc. between the events of BOTW and TOTK (maybe she did some pre-calamity too but that won't be focused on as much probably); i think it's narratively more impactful as a decision she makes to help Link rather than just something she's stumbled across

i want Zelda to partially have a sort of clueless ally vibe to her. like she is absolutely always trying her best, but i think it's gonna take her some time to "get" it -- it's hard to work out how to measure this because i don't exactly want to make Zelda transphobic lol but i do think it's important to have a wedge between her & Link that knits into the themes of transness

i think some people remember Link is a girl, or even simply recognise her as BEING a girl like from her gender presentation etc, and refer to her as such, but she just assumes it's because she looks kinda androgynous (partially true) and doesn't think too much about it because it makes her feel strange inside. but for the most part, most people from pre-calamity have died so if Link ever totally came out most people have forgotten it and just remembered the decidedly male knight of the Princess Zelda who gave "his" life to save her. i think this ties in really well with the recurring theme of nobody recognising Link in BOTW/TOTK -- they're expecting to see a grizzled dudeguy, not this angelic girltwink with a husky voice.

GREAT questions!!! thank you

for more, check out my #trans hyrule tag (now in chronological order)

#trans hyrule

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snapitkeeper · 7 months

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Ok posting my very personal and dear Gale headcanon.

Gale is genderqueer to me.

Ok so Genderqueer Gale. Gnc Gale. Yes. General note I think he's amab. But if we see this from a Gale perspective I genuinely don't think he personally would identify as anything other than cis. HIM PERSONALLY. He's just fine w that label. This might also be bc I don't think he'd really actually think that hard about his gender at all. He's just kinda like yup this is what I'm comfortable with. This is what I feel like. He also doesn't mind being called by she / her pronouns, but does mostly go by he / him. Will never admit it but people calling him by she / her pronouns just makes his heart flutter just a little bit.... even if it's an accident.

THAT BEING SAID. I do think sometimes he feels especially feminine, POSSIBLY feels like a woman somewhere deep inside him on some days?? I genuinely don't know how to explain it. I also feel like he doesn't really tell people about these feelings, but maybe it's more like he doesn't feel like he NEEDS to. This is just who he is. And he's ok with it and feels like he doesn't have to justify it. This is just who Gale is.

I also feel like. Possibly. Hair Length he has in the game is actually him in the process of growing it out longer to see how he likes it. I feel like he does eventually grow it out longer but end up cutting it again cause he likes that length ( the one he has in game ). He also likes wearing eye shadow and painting his nails, both purple cause I think it's his favorite color. I also think he would sometimes like wearing long skirts and dresses, but only the long ones that like go down to his ankles. I think his favorite would be skirts especially.

Ok now this is where u guys really have to stick w me. Idk exactly when, tbh I imagine it mostly like. Post-game. But. Gale feels especially feminine for awhile, decides that to get the most gender euphoria out of his feelings, he decides to go on estrogen for awhile, idk how long, possibly around 4-6 months?? Grows a small amount if breast tissue, but sometimes wears bras because he likes how he feels in them. Also possibly when he grows out his hair longer. But NEVER cuts his beard. He loves his beard. It's part of the gender. Just never shaves in general. Never felt like it. Also keeps his voice the way it is and doesn't try to do any voice training or anything, he likes it the way it is. Possibly using this to cope with the events of the game?? In a way?? I think being in touch with his femininity really heals something within him.

Alright now I get to talk about him and Vreth ( my tav ) with all of this. Tbh I feel like Vreth is the one who introduces him into doing his makeup, because Vreth actually does his own makeup ( I try to make it obvious but Vreth has eyeliner ). For a little Vreth was the one who did Gales eyeshadow until he learned how to do it himself. I also don't think Gale ever like. Expresses how he feels to Vreth, as I mentioned earlier, just bc he feels like that's just who he is and he shouldn't have to try and justify it. Vreth just realizes it's just how he is and just rolls with it basically. Maybe possibly Vreth asks if he can call him by feminine things just to get an idea of the extent of Gales femininity.

I like to think that during Gales time on estrogen, he likes to update Vreth on changes and feelings he has. One that always plays in my head is Vreth asking how he is and Gale tells him about how his nipples hurt, and they both think it's funny ( sign he's growing breasts ). I just think that they'd really bond during this experience in a way, probably because Vreth is Trans and had to go through body changes.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #gale dekarios

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obeymesheep · 1 year

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Can you do one when MC comes out as transgender to all the Obey Me brothers? :]

of course <3

Transgender Mc

Lucifer Mammon Leviathan

You/your mc

Part 2 !Here!

I kept it more neutral as they never specified if they wanted something more gendered! but i hope you all enjoy anyway

Lucifer

He probably understands better than anyone, to change so quickly with everyone expecting certain things from him, is something he went through during his fall.

Luci helps the best he can though, need a really specific type of human clothing so you feel whole? He custom orders one to your measurements and enchants it with glamour and self love.

Depending on if you medically transition, he definitely massages scar cream into your skin and helps you through the process of healing, when you can't reach above your head without being in pain, when you clean your self without help, and when you can't change your self without struggling he will be there.

He will also understand how hard it can be to not medically transition, he knows the pressure and knows not wanting to scar your body or just being scared, he lets you know often how he supports you through anything and loves you unconditionally whatever body you're in <3

Mammon

Being a model in the demon fashion industry he's met tons like you, and knows how to ask important questions! What are your pronouns? How comfortable are you wearing certain types of clothes? Do you feel comfortable in this pose? I mean most trans people he meets are models and these are model orientated questions but still!

Definitely super respectful of your boundaries, he's clingy but wants to be clingy in a way that makes you feel comfortable! Even if he's only holding your hand!

If you medically transition, he's def gonna kiss your scars even if there just stretch marks! You think it's kinda corny but overall sweet <3 I think he would also work as a compression blanket, he likes to lay on top of you and just minor-ly suffocate you <3

Mammon is your ride or die, it doesn't matter what you look like to him! He will hundred percent kill anyone who thinks they can say shit! He's your first man after all, and nobody messes with his treasure!!

Leviathan

Understands how annoying it can be to have people judge you and is always there to comfort you and help you through the process!

Levi is probably the best person to go to for some relief of gender, he just doesn't really care about that kind of stuff, and when you're sick of people walking on eggshells around you his couch always has a spot for you!

OMG cosplay gender euphoria!! You pick out a character and Levi does the rest, he tailors the costume to best suit your body while still giving the desired effect, he does really great contour so your face is soooo gender, and by the end you look so good and euphoric! Levi just understands your body type!

He goes to pride anime events with you, you get to talk to people who would understand the most and people who like anime! He just follows you around like a puppy and a supportive boyfriend!!

#creams fluff #creams headcannons #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me levi

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slasherparty · 1 year

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can we get a nsfw or sfw fix with Josef and a chubby trans male reader,, hes a big comfort character to me:,))

ofc ofc !!! he's very comforting to me as well (i'm also fat + transmasc so this might include a bit of projection forgive me!)

josef 🐺 / chubby trans male reader (sfw)

josef finds you very interesting, from the get go. he's glad he can engage with someone who isn't offput by his demeanor and often feminine mannerisms. he can be himself in front of you (whatever 'himself' is; he still hasn't really decided, doesn't think he ever will).

he isn't one for personal space, that much is obvious. he likes making people uncomfortable. it's kind of his thing, part of the fun of his whole process. the first thing he does that he assumes would be an unwanted invasion of space is lay his head onto your soft belly while sitting on the couch next to you. he's surprised when you don't stiffen under him. well... even if it didn't scare you, at least you felt soft and comfortable.

he's curious about your gender story and wants to hear the very gritty details of it. partly because he wants you to feel vulnerable, but also because he's genuinely interested in getting closer to you. whether or not this is for ulterior purposes, he does seem engaged when you speak about your journey; the good and the bad.

josef is most likely nonbinary, or at least uninterested in subscribing to strict gender outlines, so he delights in bonding with you over shared opinions and thoughts on identity. he's a bit shaken by this, because he finds himself being completely honest about himself to someone for the first time in a while. it's an... uncertain, but refreshing change.

he decides to pause his little game for a bit, if only to learn more about you and enjoy the fun he's having with you a bit longer. the thing is, the more time you spend with each other, the more... normal this whole situation feels. a bit domestic, honestly. it freaks him out, but he can't deny how excited he gets waking up and realizing you're still here. you haven't gone anywhere; quite the contrary in fact. he isn't sure he'd be able to get rid of you. and he knows you wouldn't be able to get rid of him.

josef 🐺 / chubby trans male reader (n/s/f/w)

so, by now it's kinda obvious he has a thing for you. you know he's never been one to keep his hands to himself or generally respect personal space, but the lingering hugs, greeting pecks on the mouth ("it's how they do it in europe!"), his hand on the small of your back when you take walks outside, waking up to him sleeping laid across you... well, this felt like something else.

he found you attractive, undoubtedly, and... you felt the same for him. there was heat there and you weren't feeling so shy about it anymore.

one night, you both were lying on the sofa in front of josef's grand fireplace (how the hell can he afford these places?), watching a found footage horror flick on the big screen. you casually draped a leg across his lap, made it look like an effort to get more comfortable. without missing a beat, he lays his arm across it, squeezing your calf. he smirks. "getting comfy?"

"hmm, yeah. but i could be comfier." you shrug, and pass him a suggestive side-eye. his brow raises.

"how so? i wouldn't be a good host if i didn't attend to my guest's needs." you snorted. you both knew you were far beyond host/houseguest at this point. you lean up and put on a thoughtful expression.

"well... let me try something." you move until you're sitting fully on his lap, his limber thighs framing your larger ones in a way that felt... oddly correct. like puzzle pieces slotting into each other. "oh, yeah. now this is comfy."

to his credit, josef doesn't flinch even once during all of this. his hands pause, though, just a moment before he slides them along where your thighs meet. his chest rumbles against your back. "yeah... i could get used to his."

he props his chin on your shoulder, and you suddenly feel caught in the jaw of a wolf. you didn't dislike it. especially when his hands began to wander, up your thighs to your belly, where he squeezed and massaged the soft flesh there. thank the lord you weren't ticklish (though he would have loved to torture you with this).

you sink back into him, which invites him to touch more of you. he feels up your chest hesitantly, and when you don't protest, he continues confidently. his stubbly face turns astride your neck, and you feel his hot breath against your nape. "anything else that would make you more... comfortable?"

"mmm... uh, well..." you can't help but squirm a little. he chuckles, in that same lighthearted way he would as if you'd just told a joke. it calms you down, just in time for him to lick your neck. "ah!" out of left field as usual for josef. but you let him continue, because he was cradling you like something he caught out in the woods and dragged back home, and it made you heated.

his left hand, large and dexterous, ran up your chest to hold your shoulder close to him, pinning you against his chest. his other hand, similarly dextrose, felt down your torso further and further, before... ah. he felt the heat there, pooling in between your thighs. you whimpered, and he bit down teasingly into your neck.

"is this it? what would make you so sooo comfortable?" you nodded helplessly, desperately. "kinda rude not to answer directly, bro. c'mon... tell me."

"yes, fuck, touch me josef. that's what i need right now." you felt a little humiliated, but this was all the better for him. he tucked two long fingers under the waist of your shorts, feeling your soft belly, and the heat underneath. you shuddered as his hands met with your swollen t-dick, rubbing the taut flesh that was frankly touch starved.

"fuck, fuck, fuck..." your head fell backwards, limp against him, as he kissed and bit at your collarbone.

"good boy..." he slid his fingers deeper, hooked them inside of you, his thumb rubbing against your t-dick to keep you breathless in his lap as his fingers pumped you. you were wet and undone, bucking against his movements like a wild animal. it was fitting, considering he was biting into you like one as well. "that's right... let me give you what you need, baby."

he began to outright fingerfuck you, fingers curling in just the right way to make you howl, convulsing against him in full-body pleasure. "don't stop, fuck, don't fucking stop...!!"

josef bit down hard into your throat, just as you came all over his hand, still moving furiously inside of you. you felt absolutely spent and overstimulated as he continued to experiment with you, feeling how swollen your t-dick was, rubbing against it off and on as you twitched and came down from the insane high.

josef brought his hand out gingerly, and of course, slid each digit in his mouth to taste you. you were inside of him, in a way, and it made him giddy. "comfy now?"

you could barely breathe out a laugh, exhausted. "yeah. yeah, i am."

um..... hi.... i hope this isn't embarrassing as fuck lmao <3 hope you enjoy anon :)

#josef creep #aaron creep #creep #creep 2 #creep movie #slasher x reader #horror imagines #creep 2017 #creep 2014 #slasher imagines #slasher writer #horror #slashers #josef x reader #trans reader #ftm reader #mark duplass

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scrambleseggy · 4 months

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I think something wild about being an afab going on T at almost 30 and also being someone who’s lived an overall queer experience under a somewhat tedious labeling process is that I have MET toxic masculine trans men. For the record, I very much appear as a cis woman to people, and most people I meet just kinda sum me up as “some sorta lesbian.”

TW from some harsher personal experiences.

Back in my early 20’s, one of my FTM franchise managers sexually harassed me at a company party very inappropriately. Within the same time frame, one of my now ex-friends and on-site manager was dating a trans men who fit ALL the stereotypes of toxic masculinity: disregard for others, pavement princess giant truck, constantly talking over others or using his strength as a source of intimidation (and I would say a source of overcompensation as well lets be real here lol). At a certain point he made this ex-friend cry so much, I had to ban him from my house and tell him I’d try to get a restraining order if he came back.

So it does really annoy me that there seems to be an ignorant group of people who form online when trans women speak about transmisogyny within the community. Because there are trans men out there who act like complete douchebags and assholes to validate themselves in their identity or they’re just plainly assholes, and this is something I would see a lot at gay clubs as opposed to tight knit groups or niche online circles. Trans women and others are trying to tell ya’ll that this is a problem that happens and some of you are childishly sticking your fingers in your ears and going “LALALA TRANSANDROPHOBIA SHHHHHH” and it’s like… Ya’ll, you don’t have to turn a blind eye to this shit because quite frankly it’s embarrassing and very misinformed.

I will say however that as someone who is thinking about transition now, I can empathize with the knee-jerk reaction as well. It’s really scary to have people tell you the negative things you could become or ways you could hurt people. It can actually in my experience be a whole driving force in continuing to remain dysphoric through your life because it’s better to do that than feel like you may end up being completely alienated from everyone, especially if all women are a very important part to you in your life.

The whole “T is poison” thing runs deep. I always had this fear that the moment I’d start it would be the moment I would become the very thing I’m made to be afraid of even if it’s what I want to be. It’s such a difficult ball of yarn to unravel. What if I did get male privilege, but even in my gender euphoria, I end up hating myself anyway? What if I don’t get male privilege or “pass” but people in the “community” (such a loose and confusing word imo) also hate me and then I have no one? If straight women treat me bad after or before “passing”, if lesbian women see me in ways I don’t want to be seen, if cis straight men think I’m a freak and gay men think I’m an intruder… Where does that place me in the world? And who really am I? Will people believe me less or more when I’m hurt by others?

I think it’s atleast something for people to consider because as someone who’s dealing with really bad dysphoria right now, these are the kinds of thoughts that have been running through my head.

It’s also good to remember that online is online and real life is real life. Yes sometimes they reflect each other, but oftentimes, people lie on the internet (GASP!) and speak in exaggerations.

This is why it’s always good to try and strive for local connects to maintain your own sanity. At the end of the day, I know my own friends who still see me as the same person. And getting to know my own family of queer people of all kinds who I love dearly and they love me back does make the world feel like a more understanding place and less like a cruel and divisive one. I guess it’s just something to keep in mind.

#trans men #transgender #lgbtq+

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gummybugg · 3 months

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*asking to multiple writeblrs*

I'm not sure if this is accurate, but there's a concept in Buddhist artistry where it isn't the art that is celebrated, but how the art helped/changed the artist.

So how did writing Crater City affect you? Do you have a new perspective on the world because of a character? Do you have a new interest because of research? Is there something you learned? Something life-changing? Something overly specific? Something mundane?

/not forced btw <3

Yeehaw get ready for a little ramble (thank you for this ask, I had to sit on it a bit because I'm not great with words hehe)

I like the idea of remembering the process in which something is created, like for physical art (there's some artists out there that focus on the process more than the art piece itself which I find very interesting). But hoo boy I'm not sure what anyone's gonna get out of asking me what I learned in boating school because it is not easy to answer. I had to reedit this like so many times.

So how did writing Crater City affect you?

Currently still writing it, and I have to say it's still poisoning my brain. I think it affects the way I view myself because of the inner work writing does. I discover more about myself and others, like life experiences, hindsight, identity, etc etc. I'm not sure how much Crater City has affected me since I have been going through many changes recently, but this story has stuck with me through many shitty and great times, so it played some part in my life. It's kind of like a diary at times. I add whatever new thing I discover and look back at it later like "oh yeah I remember what happened when I decided to put that in." Kinda like when you draw something and remember the time and place you did it, if you know what I mean. It's like a time capsule, I really like that part about the arts/language.

I think what affected me most was learning about fluidity, whether that means gender expression/identity, sexuality, fashion, ideas, morals, blah blah blah. The way my brain works is that it's very staunch until I have a routine epiphany that's like, "Oh yeah, I just remembered I have free will [to an extent]."

Do you have a new perspective on the world because of a character?

I've become a bit more confident in my identity thanks to really all of my characters (more specifically Blair). When I write them, I can express bits of myself and experiences that I don’t really talk about around people I know in real life. I'm a very reserved person & extremely introspective.

Blair is the polar opposite of me and tends to just be himself in general. His perspective that masculinity (or life in general) is what you make it gives me hope for a better future. I wonder if that's the point of his character, but I'm not sure.

Blair helped me realize there's more than one way to be a man than what mainstream makes it appear. He allowed me to figure out who I am freely and without much limitation because when you're alone writing a story about a character you don't percieve as a direct extension of yourself, you can create more freely and access thoughts you didn't know you had until you looks back in hindsight like "oh damn well I guess that's kinda relatable."

Blair is the first trans character I've created and at first he wasn't until it slowly crept up on me that he definitely was (which is usually the case when I create trans characters for some reason; it's like they just come out on their own). It may not seem remarkable to others, but for me it is a huge deal that he is confident and can embrace femininity without doubting his gender identity. He (and the rest of the male cast) does not shy away from makeup or wearing a dress (partly because I have created a genderless formal dress code norm).

He holds a special place in my heart. His name is Blair Heart, whether intentional or not. So I guess I'd say that he, while very flawed in every sense of the word, helped me understand who I am and want to be no matter how lame that sounds. Sometimes it takes writing the same character for years until you finally have a eureka moment.

Do you have a new interest because of research?

I've grown [more] interested in psychology. It's thanks to really every character I make (in this story, it's mostly due to Darcy, Blair, and Elijah). I love making mentally ill characters. It's what I've always focused on in my writing. It's important to me to make sure no dark corner goes unturned or that nothing is glorified when adding it to the mix. I also just like hiding little shards of "deep" shit among the light-heartedness because I think it's whimsical and clowns on life.

Playing with philosophies of the meaning of life is also kinda fun. Only got into that when I took that one philosophy course in college but of course it spiraled from there. If I were smarter I'd say that Crater City is about some philosophical rant about nihilism or hedonism or free will or whatever but I don't have TIME to talk about that in this post and even if I did, I'm not sure I have the brain power to churn out what I mean. I'm not great explaining things. But for now just accept the explanation that it's about funny little guys running around trying to find a purpose.

I'm sure there's more things, but I learn so many new things all the time that I'm too lazy to explain. Everything excites me. I learn all the time & I love it.

Is there something you learned? Something life-changing? Something overly specific? Something mundane?

Life changing: I guess like my outlook on life? Like my mind tends to be stuck in routines and shit but saying no to rigid things like how something should be has taught me to enjoy writing/hobbies/life and not treat everything like a chore. Like we all have a place somewhere but we dont have to be stuck doing the same shit forever because we're not npcs. I think that would be something writing Darcy teaches me. Not to be like him.

Something overly-specific/mundane: I'm more interested in coding now because that's Elijah's hobby (except I'm focusing on web design at the moment; he's more into video games). I'm currently learning html, css, and Java. I'm still trying to work on creating a personal web page. When I accrue enough money, I'll learn guitar again after 14 years. Thanks Elijah for these new hobbies.

...

I hope that answered most of it because I'm tired and haven't had much free time to spare lately teehee

Tl;dr: writing makes you gay

Tagging for Crater City adjacent content:

@writeouswriter @lyra-brie @digitalsatyr23 @talesfromtheunknowable @joswriting @mysticstarlightduck

#thanks for the ask!#really made me think about how far ive come #and yet i still found it hard to see how far ive come #im sure ill find out like 5 years from now #or maybe tomorrow idk #or right after i post this #writeblr #writing #crater city wip #creative writing #writing things

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ofpineapplesanddawns · 10 months

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Mmm idk if you are taking writing requests, but if you have the time and inclination, would you write something woth Android!Peter trying to explain to Arthur how having his body transplanted into a robobod affects feelings on gender and body issue and things? While Arthur listens supportively but doesn’t really understand. Maybe gives extremely dorky robot specific compliments?

My inbox is always open to requests! (it's just a matter of me remembering to do them after I check to see what they are, haha).

Sure, I can give this a shot! I figure that before the robo upgrade, Peter was trans, yes? Cause trans Peter is always welcomed here. :D

Warning: body dysphoria

On with the fic!

Peter swirled his finger around the rim of his glass, surprised that the damn thing could make a clear ringing sound. Shit, this was real crystal, what kinda fancy ass bar kept real crystal glasses?

Oh, right, Arthur's does. Cause Arthur's bar is just that fucking classy, just like him.

"Is something on your mind, Peter?" Arthur asked, suddenly in front of him. "Typically by this point I am in the middle of preparing your fifth glass, but you seem to be simply nursing your second. Is it not to your liking? I made it exactly the way you like it best."

"Nah." Peter sat up straighter, only to promptly slump on his arms on the counter. "Ain't the drink, it's delicious. It's just... brain stuff."

"Brain stuff?" Arthur frowned. "Oh, shall I call your emergency maintenance contact? Best to have any issues your neurolinks looked as as soon as possible, just in case of permanent damage to the remaining soft tissue links they have in your cranial cavity."

Peter just stared at him, trying to process what the fuck was just said to him. "You've been readin' up on the organic mind uploading thing they did for me?"

"I was curious to see how the trial runs were going, as you are one of the few people actually implanted in your robotic body, it is best to keep an eye on any changes that could be damaging."

"That's... weirdly sweet of you. But no, not that kinda brain stuff. More like my thoughts, ya know? Been thinkin' about my old body. About this one, and how things are so... different."

Arthur nodded. "That is to be expected. After all, you went from organic flesh, bones, and fluids to mechanical parts, often made with plastics, rubbers, metals, and different chemicals and oils to keep you running. Although you are currently programmed to fuel yourself using organic substances, though you tend to lean more towards relying on ethanol-like substances-"

Peter held up a hand to stop him. "No, no, not... not that. Kinda, not really. More like... okay, how much do you know of me before I went all go-go-gadget hot goth android?"

The bartender stared back at him, in that polite way he does. "I am aware of many things about your life, at least anything that is easily accessible through The Network. Which, by the way, you need to finish setting up."

"Eh."

"Anything specific that you are trying to refer to?"

"My... medical stuff. The changes I went through a few years back. Before this."

Arthur's face went blank, that creepy, almost factory-setting kind of face he did when he processed information or was looking something up. He blinked and looked normal again. "Your transition."

"Yeah." Peter picked up his glass and took a long drink from it, placing the empty glass back down. It was quickly taken and refilled in just a matter of seconds. "Thanks. But yeah, my... my transition. Big deal at the time, I was so happy to run around in a body that felt more right for me, you know? Spent a long time not sure why I didn't feel so hot in my skin, lookin' in the mirror made me happy and not happy.

Was all... mixed up, couldn't figure it out. Then I had to do more research, actually talk to some people in the queer community cause I just thought this was me having conflicts with my sexuality. Which, honestly, ain't a problem. Bisexual whore, I've got a pin of that, love it. But when I finally figured out the issue I was having, my brain felt better, but not quite. Too many problems, have to fix 'em. Hard to do that when people didn't take you seriously."

He downed this drink and Arthur quickly repaired it. "So, did the name change, started small, felt too scared to go all out at once. Felt like it might make me mentally sick, too much too soon, too big of a change, throwing me all over the place mentally and emotionally! Clothes weren't a problem, always dressed androgynous, but put a bit more effort into looking like a guy. A guy in goth make up, but still."

Peter looked at the drink, and decided to sip it this time. "Show was starting, was able to get away with a lot of stuff for a while. Finally made the money and had the insurance to get the surgery, the hormone treatment. I was me! I was Peter! You wanna know what the first thing I did when I finally healed after surgery?"

"What did you do?"

"I went back to my show, took a hiatus to heal, and when I showed up on stage I ripped off my coat and presented to the world my lack of tits! It was awesome! I was feelin' so much better, I mean, sometimes there's still the dark thoughts about my identity, here and there, but that's from spendin' too much time overthinkin' things and not being on my pills."

He paused. "Fuck, maybe that's why I'm havin' thoughts again, don't need my pills anymore. Did you know that it seems mental problems can be transferred over to android bodies?"

"No, I was not aware of this. Shall I make a note?"

"Sure, why not." Peter laughed. "Look at that, they fucked up a perfectly good android. He's got anxiety over his gender. Again!"

Arthur stared at him once more. "But you are classified as a male-presenting android."

"Yeah, cause I specifically had that set up in my contract, the body is based on my own body type and shape too. If no one knows of the mechanical bits and bobs under my clothes, I look exactly as I did when I was a meat puppet."

He watched Arthur make a face at this comment towards his former body. "Then what appears to be the problem?" Arthur asked, deciding to address that instead.

"It's... remember when I said I was scared of doin' everything too fast, too soon? Well, having my brain and personality put into an android body feels like that. This is me, this is me, I made those choices, but I still can't... I still can't comprehend that? You know what I mean? I look in the mirror and I see my face, but is this really my body? It's like how I used to look in mirrors when I was younger and it feels weird and off, but it's me, I know this is me."

There was silence between them and Arthur tapped a finger on the counter, as if in thought. "If it is any conciliation, Peter, I do not think that your body has any issues. Granted, the skin grafts that you wanted for it were not finished in the period of time that you had to have your mind uploaded into it and most of your robotic shell is visible, you still look very charming for an android."

Peter snorted loudly. "That's not... that's not the problem."

"I do not see why it should be a problem. Your body is functional, and very up to date! A strong model that runs much faster, both electronically and physically, than most other androids right now. You were sculpted to exact specifications to your requests, including making you look a few years younger, such as when you first commissioned your new body."

The newer android ran a hand through his hair, letting out a startled laugh. "Arthur, dude, that's not... first off, wow, I'm flattered, I think? I can't tell if you're trying to stroke my ego or trying to flirt with me in some strange android way. But that's not my issue here. I'm hot, yeah, I know, I'm a current model of android, but that's not the problem here."

"Ah. I apologize."

"Nah, don't, it's nice that you're trying to cheer me up."

"Has it helped at all, or shall I keep trying to find ways to do so?"

Peter wasn't sure, he still felt like shit, but he knew that was gonna be a constant, was before the upgrade, but he gave Arthur a crooked smile. "It helped, thanks for tryin'."

Arthur clearly didn't understand the problem, which Peter couldn't blame him. He had always been an android, he never experienced the horrors of being human, or dealing with dysphoria and the like. Still, it was sweet that the guy tried anyway, in his own, strange Arthur way.

"How about we change the topic, wanna make me another crazy drink to see if it'll make my glow bits light up like the Vegas Strip?"

Gonna be honest, I have no idea if we established if Peter's upgrade was a digital copy of his mind being uploaded into an android, or if it's that sorta weird organic kinda thing of melding the brain computer parts and just... cyberman that shit up? I left it sorta in the middle, there might be some head tofu in Peter's metal skull, haha.

#arthur x peter vincent #john's drabbles

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something-about-sunflowers · 9 months

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OH.

You ever have a sudden realization for why you feel a certain way about something that actually completely flips those feelings on their head?

I've generally always been pretty sure about what I want out of any kind of gender affirming care I might hopefully get in some nebulous future where that's something I can afford: I want my voice deeper, I'd be delighted by bottom growth, I would like my tits significantly more masculine presenting if not gone completely. I've been ambivalent about the potential for body hair, though I have been much more eager for the possibility of it with more 'ideal transition goals' influence (Look. I want Con O'Neill's gender okay?) in mind.

That said the one thing I've been hesitant about is facial hair? Which is frustrating because it's the one thing that I kind of do have by default? If I don't do anything to it I have noticeable dark wispies on my upper lip and chin (I've kind of suspected for a while that I may have some sort of hormone disorder - I've got other things that lead me to think this too ofc this is just the most easily noticeable - but like. Who's got the money for diagnosing shit like that? Not me, that's for damn sure.) like. T-Boy's First 'Stache kinda deal. It's been my one (mental) sticking point on potentially starting T, to the point where I've argued with myself that I could just do like the trans girls do and get like, what's it called? Electrolysis? Hair removal? Just for that part. But then that adds cost to what I already can't afford and. Like.

I don't think. It. Actually bothers me? I think. I think I'm maybe projecting how I think my mother would react to it? Not even with full on transition in mind but like. How I am now. Like I don't really care how it looks if I don't shave. Hell, I might even like it sometimes? Like a micro-euphoria or something. But my mother is (partially) responsible for my eating disorder. It's completely within the realm of possibility that she would have Something To Say if I just stopped bothering. I don't even think she'd do it on purpose really? Just. Would need to point out the presence of hair on my face and the judgement would be implied. The 'I am pointing this out because it is unusual and I don't think you should look like this' would be implied. She wouldn't need to say it out loud.

And like. The worst of it is? I don't care. I don't care if I do something to myself that she doesn't like or approve of. And. It's hardly as if she's transphobic (Or. Not more-so than the average 'uninvolved in the queer community parent of queer kids' cishet person. Not maliciously so, yknow?) I've got friends she knows are trans - one who she knew through his actual transition process - she's been through the whole 'it's "he", mom' 'oops, he' situation before with relative grace.

But none of those people are her kid. She doesn't see them every day. She knows she didn't raise them and has, at no point in their lives had a say with what they do to themselves. I already came out to her once (Well. I was forced out by my partner at the time's parents, which was. Not fun.) and the thing about that time is? She really didn't have to. Do anything? About that? Except maybe adjust her mental image of who I might wind up marrying some time in the nebulous future. I'm not out to her about any of my Gender Stuff. Because I don't want to have to deal with the 'I just don't understand all of this' because I'm not binary trans (every other trans person she's met has been binary) or 'It would just be easier on everybody if we still called you [deadname] and used she/her' (which, I don't even really have an issue with she/her? I very much prefer they/them but I'm used to she/her and it doesn't bother me to hear it the way hearing my deadname still does).

She doesn't listen to me when I talk about things that actually matter to me. When I talk about shit that she's done that hurts me. Hell, when I tell her she doesn't listen to me she stops listening. I know it'll be a fight if I correct her on my name/pronouns. I know she'll 'forget'. I know when I get emotional about it, because I know I'll get emotional about it, that I'll start to raise my voice (gotta love the struggle with vocal volume regulation huh? I literally can't help it and I barely notice it until someone tells me) and that she'll say 'You're always yelling, I'm not going to listen to you if you yell' and that it's just code for 'I wasn't going to listen anyway because what you have to say isn't important enough for me to try to listen, and you're giving me a convenient excuse to opt out of the blame for that by speaking "too loudly"'.

Anyway. I'm not coming out again until I'm out of this fucking state and living on my own (or at least away from her and the rest of my family).

But I do think, now, I might actually be comfortable with my facial hair/the potential for more pronounced facial hair then too. It's not my problem, it's hers.

#the dork is being a dork #uh i guess #tw eating disorder #since i mentioned mine for a second there?#idk #gender thoughts #nonbinary #transgender #idk what to tag this as lmfao #i'm also probably not going to be pursuing any kind of specifically affirming care until i'm away from it all too #like #i'm not going to start going without shaving while i'm still here #i'm not going to get a binder or try voice training or anything #friends can know that i'm arty/artheme but if they can't call me by my deadname they can't meet my family etc #and it sucks yeah #but it does give me something to look forward to i guess?#this is all to say 'i was apprehensive about a mustache because i didn't want my mom to be weird/annoying about it'#'and now that i realized that's why i was apprehensive i'm much less so'#idk like #if you think there's some aspect of transition you might not want don't just write it off outright #give some thought to why you might not want it and consider if it's because of how someone ELSE would feel about it #the person who matters most in your transition care is YOU #yknow?

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cassthecringe · 2 years

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i got permission so let’s go

jolyne’s mom is a first generation italian immigrant. she has a younger brother that’s younger by like 10 years. she’s trans and her parents didn’t take it super well -- they still love her like they arent intentionally malicious but they think this is just some weird culture shock from america vs italy and that she isnt actually a woman so they still call her by her deadname and stuff. her brother is a little better about it but he still doesnt really get it either

jolyne’s mom kinda copes with this by finding an interest in biology if just to prove she isnt insane to herself. she gravitates particularly toward reptiles cause the pure chance and randomness of “sex is based on temperature the egg is in lol” just kinda makes her laugh and makes her think of her own circumstances like how the fact she got stuck with this body is purely circumstancial and isnt reflective of who she may choose to be. btw she chose the name “enrica” based off of the italian zoologist cause her bravery is something she wanted to inherit as well. her middle name is “marina” btw and jotaro sometimes calls her that but more on that later

enrica moves out when she’s 18. she just can’t deal w the intensely conflicting emotions of having unsupportive but not outright abusive parents. she had just enough money to change her official documents to reflect her real gender and since this was part of the process in the 80s/90s also went through/is going through hrt (which she has no problem with necessarily just jeez so many hurtles)

anyway. since she doesnt have much money left she only halfheartedly applies to university of miami but to her surprise she gets in with a scholarship cause she’s a woman in stem. she is suddenly very very glad she decided to get the official documents changed before applying to school.

so she goes to uni of miami. she’s nervous and doesnt really trust anyone there so she comes off as a little aloof/intense/cold. as such she doesnt make many friends so when it’s time for the intro biology course’s single partner project, enrica is prepared to ask if she can do it alone -- until mr jotaro kujo shows up and sits next to her and is like “you seem like you’ll actually do work so im partnering with you”

she’s a little shocked but rolls with it. jotaro despite his appearance is a hardworker and they get along. he tries to comandeer her a bit and she snaps back cause dammit this is her passion too. they also both bond over how fucking weird english words are (you never stress things the same way! why are vowels able to make like 10 different sounds how am i supposed to know which one? i sound like an idiot in this language but i’m so smart im sick of it). they get a good grade on the project but they stay friends

somewhere down the line jotaro mentions something that could be up to interpretation and enrica keeps whedling him about it and he eventually snaps “goddammit woman i’m transgender okay” not expecting her to know what that means but to his surprise enrica is liek AHH <3 <3 IVE NEVER MET ANOTHER TRANS PERSON BEFORE and he’s like wiat youre trans? and she’s like YEAH GOD YOU WOULD NOT BELEIVE THE SHIT I WENT THROUGH TO GET MY DOCUMENTS CHANGED

so they bond especially more over that. enrica ends up with a crush on him poor thing. jotaro the arospec king he is does not know if what he feels is romantic in nature or not but he knows he really cares for her. so they decide if nothing else theyre gonna be by each other’s sides as friends that sometimes do things others would consider romantic (for instance enrica is kinda curious about sex but seeing as she is trans she’s nervous to do it with just anyone so jotaro is like “emm i mean we can try it together...if you want...just to see what the fuss is about” and that’s where jolyne comes from and both panic super bad about that lmao)

anyway. um. if ur curious for more i do have more thoughts about her. this is just the backstory i have in mind for her at all times ig

#cass cries #jjba #long post #transphobia mention

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all-chickens-are-trans · 2 years

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first of all, love that you just kinda. graduated your icon to a next level. looks like the inside of my brain.

now

trans ted- whats your timeline headcanon, like major points in the journey and all that

thank you thank you, once i figure out how to make the background a nonbinary pride flag (with my limited skills and apps) it's over for y'all

(no honestly i looked at several pictures of trent for several minutes and then i was like. i can't do it i can't choose another one so i just. upgraded this one 🙈)

second of all, oh lord. that's a tough one. i mentioned before that I started taking notes for a possible trans ted fic, and that's set after the events of s2, maybe even a while later. i think ted doesn't start the process of ~~realizing stuff until after his divorce. I think just like his bi awakening, the gender stuff is something he never really inspected too closely because he was too wrapped up in being michelle's husband, and that meant that both his gender and his sexuality revolved around that. (Being Henry's dad plays a big part on how he conceptualizes his gender, too, I think.)

(this is long af so here's a cut)

I'm gonna project here because of course I do that and say - ted's journey isn't linear. it's not like he has a realization at one point and then starts transitioning and then never looks back. it's more like. there were moments in his life. like when he was in middle school, he definitely grew his hair out at some point, right? little weird kid, obsessed with Queen, of course he did. (I'm not gonna say teenage ted with a mullet because neither me nor the world is ready for that but. i'm also not not saying it.)

And there you have this kid, round-faced and mild-mannered and definitely misunderstood by most of his peers, who also looks up to his father a lot. Of course he does, his father is a kind man, much nicer than most fathers Ted knows, and since Ted has trouble connecting to boys his age, he looks to his father as a role-model for masculinity. And he's like, yeah, I gotta be that, but better. I can make that work, if I just try harder and don't give up. The other boys may not always understand it, but Ted has chosen his path. He's not like these other boys and he doesn't want or need to be. He'll find his own way.

And then there's girls. Ted loves them, I'm sure he does. Especially this one he meets one day, just him and her, the only two people in that big parking lot. He wants to be good for her, the best boyfriend he can be, and later the best husband he can be, and even later the best father to their child he can be. He always goes the extra mile, but he also always feels like he just has to try a little harder. It's never quite enough, but surely, if he'll just does a little more, does it a little better, eventually he'll crack the code. he's happy, most of the time, at least as long as michelle is happy, and henry is happy. and if they're not happy, he'll be whatever they need him to be so they can be happy again. There's no need to think about himself.

Couple's therapy is rough, not only because it's Michelle and her therapist against him (or that's what it feels like at least), but also because for the first time in a long time, Ted is forced to look at himself. He's not allowed to look away. This isn't me saying he never self-reflects - I think he does that a lot actually - but it's very different to actively reflect on what kind of man you've been in your marriage and in your family, and how all the efforts you put in have often been more for your own sake than for the other person's. I think Ted scratches the surface of ~~realizing things there. Because he's been playing this part for so long, and for whom?? for what?? Always trying to be the man everyone needs him to be, but now finding out that's a burden he has placed on himself? Oh, that must hurt. I think it even hurts too much for Ted to dig deeper, to find a truth behind it.

That's later, after the divorce, at Richmond. The thing is this: Ted has been surrounded by men for most of his career, but even for a social butterfly like Ted, the way he connects to Higgins and Beard and Nathan and then Roy is a new thing. Beard as Ted's closest friend for decades might be weird, yes, but he's also way closer to the masculinity you'd expect from someone in sports - a little gruff, no lasting romantic relationships, emotionally unapproachable etc. He's Ted's levels of weird, but they've already been close for probably two decades, so they click on a different level. But with the others, Ted has a wide range of masculinities - Nathan's insecurities and Higgins the family man and the push-over, even Roy with his whole 'tough on the outside, soft on the inside' bit... Ted clearly values their input, respects them and all that, but sometimes, he still seems to set himself apart from them as well.

Now at the same time, i'm not sure there have been many women in Ted's life before Rebecca and Keeley - not that closely, not in the way of friendship and mutual respect. Keeley is one of the first people (maybe the first) at Richmond Ted genuinely connects with, and he's working hard to win over Rebecca, and he always meets them eye to eye.

And then there's the "Lavender" episode. Where Ted desperately tries to be part of Rebecca and Keeley's 'girl talk' in a way that blows my mind. (now we're at the point where tedbecca shippers may start to like me a little less - i'm sorry, friends, this is just my interpretation, i'm not trying to shit on yours or anything 🙈) Because they could have played this a dozen different ways - Ted could have been weirdly jealous of the guy Rebecca is talking to, he could have been uncomfortable from the vibes there. But no, he genuinely just wants to be a part of this kind of friendship, and all episode long, he makes an effort to learn the rules of it and adapt it. He later even applies what he has learned to the diamond dogs (the whole 'sometimes, people just need to talk about a thing and there needs to be no solution'), which i think is SUCH a cool choice. Because of course they could be saying here 'Instead of devaluing femininity, Ted lifts it up and learns from it' - but they go even beyond that. He says he wants to be Keeley multiple times a day AND he lets Rebecca use his hand to try out different nail polishes. He doesn't just play along to learn from it and adapt it for his own needs - no, he enjoys femininity for femininity's sake. Like I said, blows my fucking mind.

And I think somewhere there, somewhere after Nathan leaving when Ted is full of self-doubt, somewhere around the time he starts talking to Doctor Sharon for real - that's when a door opens for him to finally examine his gender.

And it's hard to say where that leads him, but holy shit, the possibilities excite me to no end.

#ted lasso #trans ted #i'm only ending this here because it's already getting impossibly long #but. you know i'm not done #i could never be done #my posts

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femboykaz · 1 year

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Wear your body as a wound and Slat AU? 👀

I definitely got distracted and forgot to actually answer this before, oops.

This... got a bit long so I'll put them under a cut

Wear your body as a wound Surprisingly not whump!

This one was labeled “an ode to femininity” when I first created the notes for it. It was going to be part of my enby Kaz series (now undecided lmao; for the sake of the snippet he's currently a trans man) --- a oneshot with Nina helping Kaz come into their own and navigate a whole process of exploring/experimenting with the femininity they've spent so long rejecting because of Gender Reasons.

Aaaaaaand then it. Kinda mutated into something else/more. So now it's a multi-character study focusing on A) trauma B) Performing Femininity (choice, pressure, and force) vs Presenting Feminine (gender presentation and perception) vs Being/Not Being A Woman (actual identity) and C) how these all influence Kaz and Inej (and maybe Nina) wrt their own identities and feelings, how they present themselves, their relationships, etc. (tl;dr: it's an exploration of gender, trauma, and relationships)

Snippet:

But life doesn't abide by what is fair and just, so you have to take what you are owed, bleed the world for all it's worth. And he does. He has. But there's a cruel trick to be found, a dead end in the maze that Kaz has yet to find a way past. He is always ten steps ahead of everyone and everything, but falls just as many behind himself. He has bled himself dry time and time again and still comes out empty handed. Still finds no sign of what is his.

And then there's Inej.

Kaz watches with breathless awe as she takes the first step onto the highwire, and then the next. She moves with all the power and grace he'd watched her don on the Ketterdam rooftops, with all the power and grace she wields as she commands her ship. Steadfast and certain. In her faith. In her abilities. In herself.

In her self.

'I'm more than what they stole,' Inej had told him years ago. 'I am not what they made me.'

There's that nagging, again, in the back of Kaz's mind: is any part of it an act? Has it ever been an act?

Do you know what it's like? he asks her silently, pleads with her to understand. To be forced to wear your body as if it's a wound, bandaged in a skin made of salt?

Slat AU

Based on the line from Crooked Kingdom where Kaz thinks that "Odds were good he'd end up beaten, bloodied, and dragged through the Barrel straight to Pekka Rollins' front stoop". So, canon-divergence where Kaz loses the fight at the Slat and then Rollins makes him Suffer (aka, another excuse to torture Kaz)

Snippet (cn for mild injury/body horror) :

The line starts to move, slithering like the rattlers that he and Jordie were always warned to keep their distance from on the farm. He can’t get away from it though, can’t move enough to do him any good, so Kaz turns his attention instead to the scar on his hand and hopes that somehow, ignoring it will keep him safe. The scar starts to split, tearing open into a fresh wound though it spills no blood. He should look away, wants to look away.

Jordie won't let him.

#ask games #soc fic #my writing #wips #<3

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canis-lunaris · 2 years

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So I'm nervous af over my upcoming exam, and I'm passing the sleepless hours by listening to the podcast equivalent of trash TV. The show in question is one of those run of the mill, sensationalist true crime series that dives into the sordid details of people's private business in order to try to explain why people off each other left and right; and while I would be the first one to admit that this is less than savoury content to be unable to fall asleep to, it also makes for a fairly compelling piece of auditory popcorn, so I figured, what the hell, let's just go for it, see what gives.

Episode one is alright, it's not gonna win any Purlitzer prize for journalistic effort, but it's good enough that I would give episode two a chance. So they come out with the teasing of some big juicy secret about this dude's mistress, who "isn't who you'd think she is" — I'm getting all perked up, like, uuuuh maybe she's a badass undercover cop, or maybe a corporate spy, using her charms to wrap this guy around her finger and then bust his cheating ass in some way... After 30 minutes of leadup, I'm burning to figure out what the fuck is going on, when the Big Reveal™ finally arrives:

So dude's been fucking a trans girl without knowing it. That's it. That. Is. Literally. It.

Which, btw, had absolutely no bearing whatsoever to the rest of the story, which, btw, carried the masterful intricacy of "there was this middle-aged white cis guy who got tired of his wife, so he started screwing some Mexican chick from work, and then the two of them offed the wife in the lousiest way possible, and consequently immediately got caught, the end."

So, dear Random Piece of Trash Radio, I pose you the question: Why was it necessary to disclose this woman's unrelated, deeply personal fucking business to the world to chomp on, and, to make it worse, fucking dox her full deadname (which may or may not have been her legal name at the moment of publicly outing her, this part was kinda unclear) in the process, because why the fuck not?! And then why is everybody talking about how she "fooled them" as if she owed them a fucking warning or whatever?!

I mean yeah, killing someone's wife (or anyone for that matter) is major dick move, I don't condone that kind of shit. But that makes you a murderer, which has its own legal status and consequences, which are (or at least supposed to be) the same, regardless of one's gender. None of that has anything to do with whether she was a cis or a trans person, it doesn't even have to do with the fact that she was a woman. And yeah, if you ask me, I would tend to discuss something like my gender identity with someone I'm in a relationship with for an extended period of time, but that's because of how I feel about my gender and how I feel about my relationships, and I don't think anyone has the right to demand that information from anyone else, because it's private and personal, and up to one's own discretion whether they want to discuss it with romantic or sexual partners or not, the same way it is with regards to any other piece of personal information.

TL;DR No matter what a person did, what a grade A monster they are, publicly outing them as trans, or purposefully misgendering them as a means of demeaning or punishing them is wrong, and it shouldn't be allowed on public broadcasts.

#angry rant #transphobia sucks #im desperately trying not to think about Those British Laws right now #because i don't have the spoons to get more worked up rn #cw transphobia #cw true crime #cw murder #cw cheating

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lilmissbacon · 3 years

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My ROTG head cannons just because

1) Jack = Nightlight

Unlike most who prefer to think of them as separate people, I prefer for Jack and Nightlight to be one in the same. The books are definitely not the same universe as the movie but it's awesome to think that Jack could be this ultra powerful alien from a thousand years ago.

How Jack can be Night when he was clearly human? Nightlight is physically 14 in the books while Jack is physically 17 in film. I like to think that after he became human, he stayed that way for 3 full years with his adoptive human family before he became Jack Frost. His family took him in when he appeared on their doorstep and being the colonial times, they didn't really question him.

2) Jack's Gender

On the subject of Nightlight: A Nightlight is a person made from star magic, what are the chances they'd be born with a gender? There are hairs involved in the process of creating them but how much would that really effect it. I headcannon Nightlight was born without a gender and eventually – avoiding his fate as a star and living longer than the average Nightlight – his identity developed until he realized he was male.

I.E. he technically trans.

3) Spirits aren't dead

A lot of people associate the word spirit with ghost but I think within the universe of RotG/GoC, they're completely different. Jack is the only spirit who died prier to becoming a spirit, no one else died. He was brought back to life by MiM. Spirits are living people that live within a sort of inter-dimension bubble. Kinda like Aang in Atla when he first enters the spirit world.

I believe they are alive but their bodies are frozen in time. If they get severely hurt, they don't scar. Their body returns to normal. They can be killed but are more durable (Jack falling from 100ft onto a dumpster and not even being bruised) or be killed by magical means (Pitch killing Sandy with a dark arrow.) They do need sleep and food/water just not nearly as much as a normal person.

4) The Wind

People assume that the wind is alive because of Jack's line "hey wind, take me home," and it may be alive in the books (I still haven't gotten to the second book) but I think the wind isn't actually alive in the movie-verse. It's angsty but I think that Jack pretended the wind was alive in order to not feel feel so alone after 300 years of isolation.

I feel it adds another layer to his character as well as expresses just what that kind of isolation can do to someone.

5) Bunny's age

In the books, Bunny blames himself for his race's extinction because he invented this magical chocolate that led to Pitch attacking them or something along those lines.

But it never feels like Bunny has a personal vendetta against Pitch in film, nor that he has any REAL hate towards him until he steals from Tooth.

So, in movie-verse, I headcannon that Bunny was just a young child/toddler when his species was wiped out and doesn't really remember the attack. It would explain why he never had a real grudge toward Pitch because he wouldn't see the point in holding one over a people he doesn't even know or remember.

6) Jack's sexuality

Much like how I think Jack was born without a sex, what are the chances that a magical being made from star magic would have a desire for a specific gender. Not to mention the somewhat outlandish part of his personality is very similar to a friend of mine.

I'm calling it, he's a pansexual.

7) Guardian Fam

This is shared among the fandom with seeing the guardians as one big family for Jack. With me specifically it's:

North = Father

Bunny = Annoying brother

Tooth = Mother/older sister

Sandy = Awesome uncle

8) Seasonal Spirits

I still haven't read past the first GoC book so I don't know if seasonal spirits are addressed in it, but I headcannon Jack as the only winter spirit.

Like, the reason why there needed to be seasonal spirits to begin with is because earth was actually in a constant state of winter. There are 4 spirits per season (-winter) and each spirit brings one aspect of the season. Like one summer spirit brings heat while another makes the ocean waves crash. One spring spirit pollinates plants while another wakes the animals from hibernation. Kinda like Tinkerbell fairies.

And that can be why Jack is so powerful (excluding my Nightlight headcannon.) He controls all aspects of winter and therefore makes him more powerful.

9) Tooth's Magic

It's never really explained in the movie just how the world works if adults don't believe in these legends when they actually exist.

So I like to think that it could be Tooth's doing. She's the guardian of memories after all, maybe she can manipulate the memories of the adults to the extent that she makes them think they put cash under their child's pillow or hid eggs on Easter.

And as for the foreign coins the baby teeth leave; I think after they're under the pillow, they transform into whatever amount of cash the parents told their kid there would be.

I may add on to this post later on if I can think of anything else bc my mind is mush but for now, I'll leave it at that.

#dreamworks #rotg #rise of the guardians #jack frost #e aster bunnymund #toothiana #sanderson mansnoozie #nicolas st. north #headcannons #guardians of childhood

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