Vaggie: “Babe, you have an amazing brain, love everything going on in there-”
Charlie: “Thank you!”
Vaggie: “-but we need a LITTLE bit of organization or we’re NEVER gonna remember what great ideas you had five minutes ago.”
Charlie: “Wait, what great idea did I have five minutes ago???”
Vaggie: “I don’t know. You scribbled it on a napkin and there’s like, five hundred of those scattered around our room.”
Charlie: “Aw shoot.”
Vaggie: “Some of them are folded in the shape of swans?"
Charlie: "Nnnoooo I've been trying so hard not to DO that so much!!!"
Vaggie: "It’s, pretty impressive honestly.”
Charlie: (huffs) “Okay. Fine. Maaaybe you’re right. Maybe I might have a slight, uh, organizing thoughts problem.”
Vaggie: “No worries sweetie, I have a solution.”
Vaggie: (dramatically steps aside) “BAM!”
Charlie: “OH OH VAGGIE! YOU GOT ME METAL BOXES~!”
Vaggie: “They’re filing cabinets.”
Charlie: “OHHHHH!!!”
Charlie: “…..”
Charlie: “How… how do we activate the filing cabinets?”
Vaggie: “You put your ideas in folders, label the tabs on the folders, put them in a drawer, and label each drawer. Then when you’re looking for something you just open the drawer and-”
Charlie: “Bam?”
Vaggie: “Bam. There it is. The brilliant ideas of Charlie Morningstar.”
Charlie: “As organized by Vaggie, her amazing wonderful super smart and beautiful girlfriend!!!!!”
Vaggie: (chuckling) “I don’t think looking good has anything to do with organizing…”
Charlie: “Hmm, you still are though, miss good looking. Annnnnd it DOES have a lot to do with what I’m thinking about right now.”
Vaggie: “What’re you thinking, Charlie?”
Charlie: (grins)
Vaggie: “…really? Right here, in front of our new cabinets?”
Charlie: “Heheh. I like it when stuff is ‘ours’~”
Vaggie: “Why do I get the feeling the first recorded thoughts of Charlie Morningstar are gonna have to be filed under ‘for our eyes only’.”
Charlie: “Your smirk would have to go there too then. But does this mean it’s a good idea!?”
Vaggie: “Definitely.”
Charlie: “WOO! Kisses kisses kisses-”
Vaggie: “AFTER we’ve cleaned up all these napkins. AND have neatly folded the ones that aren’t already swans.”
Charlie: “Wh- but- but there’s almost five hundred of them!! The kisses-?”
Vaggie: “One kiss per every fifty napkins, how’s that sound?
Charlie: (pouting) “Insufficient kiss ratio.”
Vaggie: “Sorry, but as much as organizing your brain turns me on, the storm of paper in here is kinda a total mood killer. No way I can focus on anything with this mess everywhere. So. Start cleaning.”
Charlie: “I’m starting to think writing on napkins was my worst idea yet…”
Vaggie: “Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been paper airplanes again.”
Charlie: “THEN I could’ve just thrown them all out the window! Be free! Fly!!! Shoo! Let me make out with my girlfriend in peace!”
Vaggie: “Ha!”
Charlie: “…. Vaggie. What if we-”
Vaggie: “Charlie no.”
Charlie: “Oh come on! Swans can fly!”
Vaggie: “Not when they’re fancy origami ones that we’ll just have to clean up later anyway.”
Charlie: “Feh. Stupid ideas on stupid napkins.”
Vaggie: “Would one kiss per every two dozen napkins make you feel better?’
Charlie: “Yes.” (deep sigh) “But I’ve only folded ten.”
Vaggie: “Perfect, I’ve done fourteen, so that makes two dozen.”
Charlie: “Wh-”
Vaggie: “Kiss ratio completed.”
Charlie: “It’s based on our combined number???”
Vaggie: “Why not. You like it when stuff is ‘ours’, don’t you.”
Charlie: “….yesthankyouiloveyouonekissplease.”
- a few several many moments later –
Charlie: “….”
Charlie: “I’m suddenly getting the idea that… those were way more than one kiss.”
Vaggie: “I don’t care and wasn’t keeping count. File it under ‘Vaggie can’t multitask for shit’.”
Charlie: “Mmm, ehhh. I think we just need a ‘Vaggie has AMAZING focus while kissing, but specifically only on the actual kissing’ folder instead.”
Vaggie: “Are you trying to get me to kiss you again.”
Charlie: “Is it working?”
Vaggie: (shoving napkins in her hands) “Here. Fold.”
Charlie: “I’m filing that under a yes~”
Vaggie: “Charlie. Fold. NOW.”
Charlie: “Hm-hmm-hm-hmmm~” (folding at lightspeed) “My newest great idea is that we should get even MORE filing cabinets.”
Vaggie: “Oh for-”(throws aside napkins) “-fuck’s sake-” (gives up and kisses her again)
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fellows and fellas,,,, the coffeeshoproommates au
me: haha what if i combined the two most common fanfic au's into one single au just for th memes
me, several hours later after a multi-person brainstorming session in the space ace discord: i dont think its for the memes anymore
AU Synopsis:
Y/N is a shut-in hermit who doesnt rlly like interacting with anyone whatsoever who's rent has gone up and who's past roommate has moved out, so they, against their better judgement, put out an ad for the free bedroom in their apartment. SURPRISE you get two takers: a pair of brothers, Sundrop and Moondrop, who are both college students studying to be elementary school teachers, are willing to follow your half-mile-long list of rules, and they're ready to move in as soon as you're ready to receive them! Bonus points for them both seeming relatively sane!!
PLOT TWIST Sun and Moon are both rlly curious abt u despite how much u r rlly trying to avoid them and no matter how many times u make it clear that u just rlly do not want to b friends. JOKES ON U SUN FINDS U AT UR DAY JOB AND NOW UR LIFE WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE
bonus:
the cafe u work at holds open-mic nights. Sun and Moon make a habit of participating, turns out theyre a couple of goofy ass theater kids with a knack for comedy. Bad news, they r DETERMINED to get u to join in their act. They call u out every time they get on the stage and the crowd loves it. U become a fan fave (u hate it) (u dont actually hate it thats just what u tell sun and moon)
Sun comes to see u at ur job every day. He always tries to time his spot in line so that ur the one he gets to talk to (it takes u less than a week to memorize his order but u act like u dont know it bc u dont want him thinkin that ur friends or anything)
Moon works at a 24hr gas station convinience store on th nightshift. u run into each other one night when ur buying a six pack of redbull. neither of u say anything but u can tell he's judging u. After that he starts making u lunches to take to work. if u "forget" (aka refuse) to take it with u he comes by and gives it to u himself like some kinda twiggy ass motherhen type mf. ur coworkers r definitely laughing at u behind ur back u can just feel it (theyre jealous and wish they had two cute dudes being all sweet n doting on them like u do)
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TD World Tour AU, where Noah doesn't tell Owen that Alejandro is an eel in London... In Area 51, Noah is accidentally splashed with an alien truth potion (which wears off after a few days) and he talks to Owen... Owen asks Noah what he truly thinks about Alejandro, and Truth-Potion Affected Noah says this: "I have mixed feelings for Alejandro. He's a brilliant, interesting guy and I like him, but I don't trust him. He's like a slippery eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. Basically, Heather with social skills. Wait a minute, why am I telling you this?!"... What if Alejandro secretly heard Noah call him all those conflicting things + Alejandro also learns that Noah is affected with an alien truth potion? 👽
Alright, you got me. I'm an absolute sucker for truth potion plots, especially when the character(s) effected by them are usually either pathological liars or incredibly secretive- of which Noah absolutely falls into the second category, given he shares so little personal information.
I'll gloss over why Noah declined to shit-talk Alejandro in London (though there's so many ways this change in behaviour could be justified) since the focal point of this hypothetical centred around their time in Nevada, so let's start from the beginning of the Area 51 challenge.
Area 51:
Before we start, it'll have to be established that no one was eliminated in London. Let's say that the majority vote went towards Duncan (team CIRRRRH voted him out immediately because they found his re-admission to the competition unfair, I guess. I imagine he'd also vote himself, if not as a plan to escape the competition he'd been actively skiving from, then just as an act of spite) but Chris instead claimed it was a rewards challenge- much like he does in Greece- because he doesn't want to let Duncan slip away again so soon.
I see no reason to alter the first part of the challenge- the sneaking into Area 51 portion- since team CIRRRRH's course of entry is fairly straightforward. Noah's presence doesn't make much of a difference to how it would play out; the majority of them throw their rocks and run, Owen gets lasered over the fence and Owen-napped, ect ect.
When both teams have managed to make their way into the Black Box Warehouse, Noah immediately suggests they should prioritise rescuing Owen. Tyler's quick to agree, since he's a firm believer in the "no man left behind" mentality (and he probably makes a not-so-subtle jab towards Noah for his chance of tune compared to London, where both he and Owen did leave Tyler behind) leaving Duncan and Alejandro to split from the group- Duncan in search of Gwen, and Alejandro just takes the opportunity to finally be free from his 'incompetent teammates' and prioritises finding an artifact.
Noah and Tyler come across the contraption Owen's trapped in, Tyler punches it in a futile effort to break it open, and the face hugger cube drops into Noah's hands. This is where the point of divergence comes into play; Tyler has his E.T. moment with one of the face huggers, but Noah- who's a tad bit more observant than Alejandro, and used to dodging surprise attacks from his various older siblings (and Izzy)- anticipates his own face hugger attack and promptly starts a game of cat-and-mouse with a taser alien hot on his heels.
The commotion of which attracts the rest of his team. Alejandro and Duncan arrive on the scene to see Tyler being electrocuted by an alien and Noah running in circles evading another.
Duncan attempts to rip the face hugger from Tyler's face, finding success at the cost of sending Tyler trampling into Owen's captive contraption (essentially taking Alejandro's canonical place in this scene) and inadvertently freeing Owen.
Meanwhile, Alejandro swipes up the nearest box he can find and snags the alien chasing Noah, who's still very loudly panicking as he flees, and succeeds! The alien is swiftly captured into the box, netting team CIRRRRH their artifact, and Noah promptly goes careening into the nearest tower of junk in his face hugger-fuelled hysteria. This causes another box to topple from the peak of the tower, landing directly on Noah's head and spilling its contents onto the bookworm- glass vials filled with a mysterious, luminescent cobalt blue liquid shatter into pieces drenching Noah in whatever they contained.
(i.e. truth potion.)
Owen has his false-amnesia moment, characterised by his Joker makeover, and Alejandro enacts his revenge post-hypnotic suggestion after being addressed as "Al" one too many times.
Noah, understandably, swiftly objects to Owen's treatment and demands that Alejandro snap him out of it. Alejandro concedes, and Owen's brought back to himself. At least, for a moment, before the fatigue of having his mind messed with sends Owen into near-catatonia (the same as canon), meaning he has to be ferried through the Warehouse and back to the Jet by Alejandro and Duncan.
Things carry on canonically from there; Noah's just sort of there for the most part, though there'd be a minor hint to his newfound proclivity for honesty. Something along the lines of him giving an uncharacteristically honest answer to Owen as to who he's voting- Tyler, of course, since he was the one who ultimately threw the challenge for them... and also because Tyler still holds some resentment towards Noah for what happened in London, and Noah feels guilty about it every time he looks at the jock. Wait, why did he say that?
Sometime between this and the elimination scene, Noah wipes the truth-goop off of himself, but not before the effects have already started.
Tyler's voted out, yada yada yada.
The Jet:
Thus begins the start of "Picnic at Hanging Dork". Team CIRRRRH, consisting of just Alejandro, Duncan, Owen and Noah, are slumming it up in the Economy Cabin. Alejandro tries to rally his team by asking how to break apart Courtney and Heather's tentative co-operation. Owen suggests having Alejandro seduce Heather, since it worked for both Bridgette and Leshawna. Duncan makes his "Babe Olympics" comment. Noah pipes up that playing with someone's feelings is pretty scummy, even for someone competing for a million dollars.
Alejandro takes Noah's reluctance towards his methodology poorly; he hadn't spoken up before, when Alejandro had utilized the same strategy against other girls- and even Owen noticed that, so surely Noah did too- so why was he to outwardly against him using the same tricks? Duncan agrees, and offers ''his'' idea of having Alejandro flirt with Courtney to throw both her and Heather off their games (since Heather has an obvious crush on Alejandro), and things follow canon.
Then, the scene between Alejandro and Courtney happens. Noah scoffs at the display from the side lines, prompting Owen to ask him why he's so against Alejandro's plan.
"I mean, you never said anything before, when he flirted with Bridgette and Leshawna." Owen comments, light-hearted in nature but with an underlying questioning tone.
Noah's eyes flicker with a cobalt glow, easily mistaken for a trick of the light, and he speaks without even thinking.
"Yeah, because I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Bridgette was happenstance, and Leshawna's whole deal could've been a coincidence, or some massive misunderstanding. But this?" Noah extends an accusing hand out towards a smug looking Alejandro, then pans it over to a flattered Courtney, "He's outright toying with Courtney's feelings after she was cheated on in front of an international audience. It's scummy."
Owen nods in understanding, momentary contemplation evident in the pouted curve of his lips, and he chimes in.
"Does that mean you don't like Al?"
"I never said that."
"Well, how do you feel about him, then?"
Again, a flash of blue light against the hickory backdrop of Noah's eyes, and he responds thoughtlessly.
"I guess I have mixed feelings about him. On the one hand, he's slippery, like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. He's like if you took all of the worst aspects of Heather, wrapped them up in a pretty package, and gave them social skills..." He holds his hands out before him in a scale-like manner, with the left tipped downwards and tie right raised by his chin. Then, the two hands swap positions.
"And on the other hand, he's brilliant. I've never met anyone as talented as Alejandro; he's smart, he's athletic, he's funny. It's almost unfair just how perfect everything about him is- even his face is perfect. It's ridiculous! Infuriating, even. It's so hard to dislike him, even when I know he's bad news, but that doesn't mean I trust him."
Owen stands slack jawed beside his best friend, both impressed and stunned at the raw honesty of Noah's tirade. Noah, now a little more aware of himself, realises that he's said more than he intended to- more than he thinks he's ever spoken in one go throughout the entirety of Total Drama. He's not usually one for speeches, after all, let alone honest ones.
He's always been the type to play his cards close to his chest, so why...?
"I, uh, didn't mean to go off like that."
And he also didn't mean to admit it, either. What was going on?
The look Owen gives him is, in a word, vivid. The blonde has a shit-eating grin stretching across his face, a sort of elated smugness practically glowing from his features.
"Sounds like someone has a cruuuush!~"
What? No? No! Not at all, where would Owen even get that idea?!
Noah splutters to correct Owen's assumption (to disastrous results, because he does sort-of has a crush on Alejandro, so the truth potion doesn't allow him to outright deny it), and in his preoccupied state he misses how a calculating pair of sage green eyes never seems to stray from him.
Alejandro has a lot to think about in regards to a certain cynic, it seems.
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