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cynicaltirade · 8 months

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Plushophiliac Ted Nivison (aka How to Sleep 101)

:33 < Received a request of this from an anonymous discord friend (love you kitty <3). Not really into it myself but it was interesting to write about!!! Gonna drop the line starters for my actual writing since they can get annoying!

:33 < DISCLAIMER: I only condone the "usuage" of STUFFED animals (not taxidermy mind you). Otherwise, if you don't like, don't read - plushophilia doesn't hurt the plush lover nor anyone else so it's fine (enough) in my books.

:33 < part 2

NSFW UNDER THE CUT. MINORS DNI

Contains: slight self-degradation, Plushophilia (attraction to plushies), edging (self orgasm denial), gooning themes though not out right stated, homemade sex tape, mild begging to cum, corruption kink if you squint.

Word count: 1,761

:33 < Btw this is the "muse" of the story :3

It had been a long quiet night, but that's to be expected when you are a chronic insomniac. Ted had already considered reaching out to you or any of his friends, but seeing as it was nearly 4am, no one was awake. Short of waking someone up to chat with (which he didn't exactly want to do), he had exhausted most of his usual means to entertain himself; Youtube was getting boring, Netflix had nothing very interesting, his twitter feed was dead, and he was far too tired to make a cohesive video script right now. Truly, this was the most mind numbingly dull situation to be in.

Sure, he could jack off, but at the same he really was not in the mood to just use his hand again right now. Well... Maybe he didn't have to fuck his hand. It was a surprise to even him that while he was scanning his room for something to jerk himself off with, he caught his eyes lingering on a large plush rabbit maybe a foot long. You had gotten it for him as a get-well-soon gift when he was sick just a few weeks ago, telling him that you hoped it would make him feel at least a little bit better. Maybe this wasn't exactly the type of "feeling better" you had intended the plush to help Ted with, but then again, sleeping would make him feel much better and the most surefire way to make him sleepy would be jacking off.

The walk from his computer desk to his bookshelf where he kept the plush rabbit felt like miles. There was a certain shame that came with using a stuffed animal to get off, let alone one that was gifted to him by a close friend of his. For whatever reason though, the shame made his mind spin in anticipation. Feeling the vast expanse of soft fluffy white and grey fur under his fingers once he finally grabbed the plush was was electrifying. His mind was already trying to blank on him as he thought up a hundred excuses as to why this was fine. He was just helping put himself to sleep after a long night of insomnia.

It started off small, dipping his toe in the water so to speak. He sat at the edge of his bed with the plush rabbit laying on his bed as he thought of how best to go about this. Maybe he should just... he decided to try laying down and grinding up against the plush through his black boxers and red plaid PJ pants. Sure, there was nothing morally wrong or illegal about using a plushie to get off, but it still felt so wrong. Regardless, he assumed position.

Ted held the plush rabbit's back close to his chest as to get it's butt comfortably lined up with his crotch, a slight blush crossed his cheeks at how humiliating this felt. Still, he pushed on. One little thrust up into the plush and sparks of pleasure shot up his spine. It was so wonderfully soft and fluffy and the fact that the rabbit was stuffed enough to give some friction but not enough to give enough friction was intoxicating. He gave a few more experimental thrusts through his boxers and PJ pants, feeling his cock stand further at attention with each rub between the thighs of the plush.

It wasn't enough though. He needed more and he needed more now. Quickly Ted undid his PJ pants and kicked them off before returning his attention to his (hopefully) one night stand. With how caught up he was becoming in the action, it was understandable he didn't exactly notice the wet spot forming in his underwear, let alone how much precum was leaking out of his almost aching cock. The slick translucent precum smeared its way from his cock to the plush rabbit with every thrust making it all so much more pleasurable. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't help but to give small almost silent "ah"s and "hnn"s as he fucked into his plush. The feeling radiating from his dick was so horribly amazing he felt like his mind was growing heavier, hazier, and made it so... so hard to think. It was as if his mind was getting melted into pond he was sinking into and each thought was just a little ripple - almost imperceivable from the bottom where he was.

Feeling the very beginnings of a knot forming in his stomach and Not wanting to get off too quickly, Ted bit his lip and forced himself to stop thrusting. It felt agonizing at first but he wanted to wring every drop of pleasure out of himself he could manage for now. The original intention of his ministrations were still in the back of his mind, but with each panted breath in this short moment, the thought of going to sleep floated further and further away. His eyelids fluttered for a moment as he gripped the plush closer for some kind of rock to stabilize himself on in the empty lake his mind was becoming.

Feeling the beginnings of the knot in his stomach die down some, Ted resumed by fucking up into the soft slick fur between the plush rabbit's legs. He held it's thighs together to give himself the tightness he had begun to crave. At this point, all he could think about was in, out, in, out, in, out. His mind melted just that little bit further listening to his dick quietly rubbing against the stuffed body he held close as well as his own panting and almost whines. Not wanting to be heard, despite being home alone, he bit onto one of the ears of the plush rabbit. the soft mink lining of the inside of the ear against his tongue felt so disgustingly nice. God the plush rabbit even smelled nice now that he had his nose practically buried in it. Did you put essential oils on it or something? It almost smelled like jasmine, citrus and that unique old plushie smell.

This. This must be what heaven is. The combination of the smells, the taste, the softness of the fur, the sounds of his dick ravaging the thighs of the plush rabbit, and of course already being one edge in was so, so, so very wonderful to Ted. The only thing that could make it better was if the plush was nice and warm, fuck he would simply be unable to keep himself from cumming if that were the case.

The thought of fucking a nice warm hole made it that much better though, god damn. Ted paused once again, trying to fight back the thoughts and keep the knot in his stomach from snapping. While spooning the plush was nice, sure, he wanted something different to enjoy any new sensations he could get. He landed on fucking the plush rabbit in closer to a doggy style position where he stood at the edge of the bed with the plush laying out on a pillow perfectly at dick height. In what was probably his last half aware thought, Ted reached down to his PJ pants pocket and took out his phone. He propped it up at one corner of the bed to fully capture the current scene and hit record. Making sure the film was running, he started fucking into the stuffed rabbit with renewed vigor. If what he was just doing was heavenly, then this must be godly. The precum soaked fur on the top of his dick tantalizingly slicking up the head of his cock with his own precum released with each thrust, and now the cold satin sheets on the underside? He had to grip the base of his cock and still his thrusting just to not cum on the first thrust between the little sandwich he had made himself.

Ted was already at three edges, his dick growing to be angry red in colour as he kept fighting off cumming just to carry on a little longer. At this point, not even clinging on to the plush was enough of a life vest to keep him afloat in the vast expanse of open ocean his mind had become from the overwhelming sensations. He was lost in a sea of pleasure and quite happily drowning in it. Poor boy's mind was so far gone he had already forgotten why he was biting the stuffed bunny's ear, although it didn't really matter since he was home alone.

"Fuck... please..." he murmurs as he leans down to nearly lay on the plush rabbit. Ted didn't really know what he was pleading for but he knew it felt right. His whines grew wider as he let his mouth hang open and fuck himself senselessly into the stuffed rabbit. "Please, please, please, please" he repeated as if it was some kind of personal mantra, his pace becoming more erratic with each desperate thrust. "Please, I wanna cum so bad, please! Too good, please!!!" he grew louder, holding the rabbit tight as he finally chased his orgasm like his life depended on it. Realizing the was about to cum, he hurriedly flip the plush rabbit over onto its back and pressed his cock back up against it's stomach. His dick almost reached half way up it's stomach, actually seeing that fact and thinking about the bulge he'd surely make if he were actually fucking into the soft fluffy polyester insides.

With just a few final thrusts, Ted's short yet sweet gooning session was over. Thick pearly white ropes of cum surged from his cock as he grinded into the plush for that final bit of stimulation. His cum claimed it's everything as his; it's stomach, it's chest, it's face, and some even got on it's ears. With a satisfied yet shaky sigh, he pulled away and examined his work. The plush was, to put it lightly, ruined. The fur on it's underside had become so slicked with precum, cum, and a bit of sweat. What was once the sweat smell of jasmine, orange, and the unique old smell of stuffed animals was over cum by his own musk and the smell of sex.

Ted panted into the hot and heavy room as he came down from his high. He hadn't cum that hard in ages, and god did that fucking feel good. A final shiver rolled up his spine when he pulled away from the slick fur of the plush rabbit.

A realization hit him after a few moments. Well shit, how was he going to clean this up?

:33 < JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT TOOK FUREVER!!! I hope yall enjoy it :3. Despite not being into plushophilia myself, I had so much fun writing this! honestly this is genuinely the most satisfied with my writing I've been in a while :3. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but that's ok, I think it's just fun to write about weird kinks/fetishes as long as it isn't about something that hurts people! Anyways, thank you so much for reading!

:33 < Dividers credits: @cafekitsune

#ted nivison #ted nivison smut #smut #fanfic #shitfic #shitfic taken seriously #not proofread #we die like men #I genuinely hope my family doesn't see this #content warnings #plushophilia #gooning #corruption kink #if you squint

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am0ng-us-sus · 5 months

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Miku takes the gang out to Olive Garden for Thanksgiving

Everyone in my family is sicc we haven't had t

Thanksgiving yet because of it,so I decided to write a shitpost fanfic about Miku taking the gang out for Thanksgiving. Chaos ensues.

The large white van pulled into the parking lot of the Olive Garden... Well,more like it swerved into the parking lot...

Everyone was gripping their seats tightly as Meiko parked the car.

'What are y'all so stiff for? Come on! Let's go!'

She said,hopping out of the van and opening the door for her friends.

'Meiko,I think we'll just have Kaito drive us back...'

Said Gumi

'Why? I'm a responsible driver!'

Mumbles of disagreement spread through the group.

'Meiko,you've taken up four parking spaces!'

Exclaimed Gakupo

'Well I think she drives just fine~'

Said Luka,kissing Meiko's cheek

'See? I am a good driver! Because Luka said so!'

Everyone groaned as Meiko proudly strutted forwards,leading them all towards the restaurant.

'Luka,you have got to stop enabling her! She's gonna get us killed in that van!'

Whispered Miku

'I just don't want her feelings to be hurt...'

'Well the truth hurts sometimes!'

'But I don't want her to be hurt...'

'Luka!'

'Fine,I'll find a way to break the news gently...'

The large group walked into the Olive Garden,and were soon led to a large table and given menus.

Everyone decided on what to eat,and ordered their food.

Now they wait.

Len ordered the chicken tenders but didn't want to color the kid's menu because it was 'too childish' for him. He gave it to Meiko,who was now eagerly coloring the pictures in,Rin at her side doing the same.

'Luka! Look! What do you think?'

'Luka,Luka! Do you like my art?'

The two of them held up their kid's menus.

'They look great,you two! Good job!'

'Yayyy! Meiko! Play tic-tac-toe with me!'

'Prepare to be destroyed,Rin!'

They tied on each game.

The waiter soon came back with the food.

'Ewww,what is this??'

Said Len,holding up a colorful plastic cup with a straw and lemonade inside.

'Len,do you not want the kiddie cup?'

Asked Kaito.

'No,gross! This is for babies! Meiko...?'

'Oh,of course I'll trade with you,Len!'

Meiko now had a children's meal cup. Filled with lemonade.

Gakupo was eating his slad when he felt something warm and moist splat against his cheek.

He wiped some tomato sauce off of his cheek and looked over at Gumi,who was giggling at him from where she'd flung a meatball at him.

He threw an onion at her. It hit her in the eye.

Gumi started screaming and running in circles,the other customers looked at her with concern.

Luka got up and cautiously approached her,Gumi was now on the floor,sobbing.

Luka helped her up and calmed her down.

'We're gonna go to the bathroom and get her taken care of,okay? We'll be right back.'

'Gakupo you meanie! Of all the foods to throw at me,an ONION??'

She started crying again.

'Shush,Gumi,come on...'

Gakupo was chuckling a little,but then felt a dark presence behind him.

He gulped and turned around.

Meiko grabbed him by the ear and pulled him up,she pulled La Chancla (trademarked) out of her purse and started beating the shit out of Gakupo,in front of the whole restaurant,yelling at him for hurting Gumi.

This was humiliating. Not because a woman was beating the shit out of him,a grown man,the humiliating part was the fact that the woman who was beating him was also the woman who had drank overly sweetened lemonade from a colorful children's cup with pictures of anthropomorphic tomatoes on it just a few moments ago.

Gakupo sat down a few minutes later,a large red La Chancla (tm) mark was on his cheek.

Luka came back with Gumi,her left eye was now swollen and red,she held a wet paper towel over it.

Luka sat down again,and Meiko brushed herself off before going back to her seat as well,picking up her cup of lemonade.

It was then that everyone realized... Len was missing...

'Kaito! Rin! Somebody!'

They all looked up to see Len in the rafters of the building.

'LEN! HOW DID YOU GET UP THERE?!'

Yelled Kaito

'I have to pee I was looking for the bathroom!'

'What the fuck,Len??'

Yelled Rin,who received a smack to the back of her head courtesy of Meiko for using such foul language.

Meiko got up and stood on top of the table,under Len.

'Alright,Len,jump down,I've got you!'

'WHAT??'

'Trust me,Len,I'll catch you!'

Len closed his eyes and jumped.

He missed completely,landing behind the table.

'Len! Geez,you've got some terrible aim!'

Said Meiko,hopping down and helping him up.

Len just groaned and sat back down.

The group finished and ordered desert.

'Uhg get a room!'

Said Gumi,who had looked over at Luka and Meiko,who were staring at each-other and holding hands across the table.

'Gumi,just leave them be,they're not being a disturbance,at least.'

Sighed Kaito,who had finished his ice-cream in under a minute.

The waiter came back with the bill,which Miku paid,and collected all the plates.

'Kaito?'

'Yea,Miku?'

'Where did the lovebirds go?'

Kaito looked around and realized that Luka and Meiko weren't at the table anymore.

'Oh,no...'

He looked around the room,eventually spotting them.

Meiko had pinned Luka to a wall,holding Luka's arms above her head as the two made out passionately.

'Gross...'

Said Gumi and Miku in unison.

'They really have no shame...'

Said Gakupo.

Kaito managed to break the two up and lead them back to the van. He was driving home. No exceptions.

Meiko seemed happy with this,as she was sipping the rest of her lemonade happily.

Kaito got onto the highway and Miku had pulled out a game console,while Rin was listening to music,Len still had to pee and was crossing his legs,Gakupo was scrolling through his phone in the passenger seat,Gumi was watching Miku play games,and Meiko had knocked out almost immediately,hugging Luka tightly,who was also asleep.

Everyone was annoyed at the woman's loud snoring.

'I'll never understand how the hell Luka can sleep with that racket in her ear.'

Said Miku

'Yeah,it's like sleeping next to a lawnmower.'

Said Rin.

'Kaitoooo I really have to pee!'

Groaned Len.

'L imagine could never be me. Soulda' used the potty when you had the chance,banana boy!'

Teased Gumi.

'Fine,if that's how you wanna talk to me... Miku,is that coffee cup empty?'

'Yeah. Here.'

She handed Len the empty cup.

Gumi's eyes widened

'WAIT LEN NO DONT-'

Gumi fake gagged and closed her eyes.

'L. Imagine. Could never be me. You should've sat in the front.'

Said Len.

Gumi put her head in her hands.

'Who had fun?'

Asked Kaito.

'Oh,I did!'

Said Rin exitedly.

'Now everyone say thank you to Miku for paying for the food!'

'Thanks,Miku!'

Said Rin.

Miku looked up from her little game console.

'I'm never taking you guys out for Thanksgiving ever again.'

#shitfic #vocaloid shitpost

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verfound · 2 years

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FIC: ...Ziggy Likes Broccoli (MLB, Lukanette)

Characters/Pairings: Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Chen, Ziggy; Luka Couffaine x Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Rating: T / PG-13 / Teen

Summary: In which Ziggy is a sleep snacker and mistakes Luka’s bun for her favorite vegetable, or: the Identity Reveal no one in the Kwami Betting Pool saw coming.

Author’s Notes/Warnings: …there…y’all I don’t even know how to explain this one beyond *gestures at the LBSCers* MY PEOPLE. (Somehow, in no particular order, this is a Dammit Quick, Min, Laurel, and Toothless Me. 😂) Princess Heartmaker is being Difficult, so I ran with a shitpost plunny to shake it off. 😂

“…Ziggy Likes Broccoli”

It had started as an accident.

Or…well.

It was kind of an accident? It had originally started as a…not a punishment, not really. A…training method? Sort of?

Or…at least…the behavior or training or whatever that had led to the Incident in Question, which was an accident, was…a punishment. Years ago, back when Marinette had first found herself Guardian of an entire Miracle Box full of mischievous little kwamis who didn’t understand the basic concept of if I can’t trust you while I’m here how can I trust you when I’m not? and had resorted to threatening the kwamis with ‘yucky’ food like broccoli, which had only worked until a certain mischievous kwami realized she loved broccoli, which had led to the Miracle Box Time Outs, which…

…the point!

Her point.

The Incident in Question tonight – her boyfriend Luka waking her up in the dead of night because he was screaming and frantically batting at his head like he had fleas or lice or a kwami chewing on his hair – had all started well before she had asked Luka to move in with her.

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goosemander · 9 months

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At popular request (aka the onceler cosplay person's) here's my y/n x the onceler fic i wrote less than 20 min after getting my wisdom teeth removed.

under the cut cause it's... a ride

cw for sexx and vore, but its extremely tame cause i was high and sixteen when i wrote this

@moth-tea-merchant (who's apparently the onceler cosplayer)

it was a warm day that was cold. y/n was sitting on her front lawn looking at the butterflies and flowers and admiring being allergic to pollen when she lookd next door and there was…

A NEW NEIGHBOR!?!

“What?” y/n said. “i didnt kno i was getting a new neighbor!!!”

and then he walked out the house that is next to y/n’s. the neighbor is green like a green bean and he is tall also like a green bean adn y/n really likes green beans.

mmmm yummy green beans. roast them gril them stir fry then steam them. all green beans are good. even yucky ones. y/n starts drooling.

neighbor man looks over and says “hi i am named the onc*ler,”

“I am y/n” y/n says, “you look like a green bean.”

“people say that a lot,” on*eler says sadly.

“oh,” yn says. y/n offended the green bean man oh no.

the once*er leaves and goes back into his house to finish moving in because that is what he was doing. y/n looks at him and drools and thinks about eating her favrite food, green beans.

then all of a sudden, gren the *nceler comes out of his house.

“y/n i am in love with you!!!!” he sasy.

“i am sorry,” y/n says, “but i only love green beans”

“well i have a secret,” oncele* says, “i am actually a greenbean that was turned human.”

“oh em gee1” y/n ays. “we r perfect for each other!!!”

and then they kiss. the oncel*r’s mouth tastes like green beans and y/n likes that.

then they have sexx and y/n eats him like how praying manitses eat their mates adn also y/n really likes green beans. he tasted like a green bean. and that is how y/n fell in love and then accidentally ate her one true love.

the end.

#goose writes #shitfic #y/n x the onceler #please i promise this is funny #not gw2 #only tangentially art party related so not tagging it lol #ngl this is one of my favorite things to inflict on people

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femberdino · 2 years

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decided to branch out to the wonderful world of tumblr

#femberdino #crackship #gay men #wattpad #crack fic #shitfic #gay shit #satire

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geekghoul · 3 months

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Ok but hear me out.

Can Jiang Cheng not run the Jiang Sect??

Why is he the only one with no backup plan. There’s two Lans, two Nies, and a plethora of Jins , notably Meng Yao.

So why does Jiang Cheng, middle(well actually youngest but whatever) child of the century gotta be the one in hot water. Fucking marry him off and let Wei Ying and/or Yanli run shit. Jin Zixuan or Lan Zhan could totally move to Lotus Pier and affect nothing? Im inclined to Yanli running Shit and WangXian going wherever theyre needed. But just give JC a fecking break istg

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #cql #jiang cheng #the untamed #and this is absolutely a shitfic everyone live goodtimeline bs question #i understand there are actual political reasons for shit #but like i need an au

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fefairys · 1 year

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man a lot of the pesterquest routes are just like. batshit fucking bananas but then they end really nicely in a way that makes me feel bad for criticizing the beginning and middle parts

#eridans route is fucking BATSHIT until like the VERY end.#its just like. i know what they were trying to do but it was way too heavy handed #just had him say all the quiet parts out loud #this could have been better crafted i think #like *talks about how gender is arbitrary and and gnc ppl should be destigmatized* 'anyways lets talk about the hemospectrum.'#LIKE ITS JUST TOO ON THE NOSE. CAN WE DIAL IT BACK CAN HE TALK LIKE A PERSON INSTEAD OF A TEXTPOST #like it just feels unfair tbh #his route reads like some shit I'd write as like a joke like one of my shitfics #of him Just Saying all this stuff instead of it being implied through words he would Actually say #but then at the end its like hey remember that he is 13 years old and still growing #and he cant just fix himself overnight and its going to take a while #etc etc like its very kind and true!#whatever #pesterquest #homestuck

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evilasiangenius · 1 year

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Recently I read a note written by someone who was happily using ai to create their stories (and art), and it made me pretty mad for a hot second because if ao3 really has been trawled for a machine learning dataset, some fractional part of that ai generated story was written with the years and thousands of hours I had put into my writing.

But then i remembered, some of those thousands of hours included Slit x Boot, a short explicit-rated fic so egregious that it got translated into Russian and a Russian reader once told me that reading it made them briefly hate every single letter in the Cyrillic alphabet. So I don't feel as bad anymore because that's just one of the shitfics i have written over the years and that ai you’re so fond of, fake creator, is someday going to pop out something that will make someone hate every single letter of the English language, possibly permanently.

That’s just the power of artificial intelligence and machine learning ;)

#there's a file in my writing folder called 'evil rug'#and it's about aziraphale stealing an evil rug #it's about time for another shitfic is what i have to say #the ai is only as good as what it's been trained on #even neural nets aren't smart enough to be /smart/#if they were that great machine vision would have been cracked ages ago #slit x boot

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minka-cola · 25 days

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holy fuck that's a lot of notes overnight. handsome hoshi popped off!!

thank goodness for still having notifications off or my anxiety might have kept me in bed

#minka says #i was tempted to make a post about writing a shitfic where u official flashes her balls on stream. but who would believe that #especially when i wrote only a few lines and figured i couldnt seriously be doing this when i havent gotten back to serious fics #(imagine a dramatization of every moment jerma thought he showed his dick on camera but he actually finally does it)

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vagueiish · 1 month

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whiny baby bullshit under the readmore

no, you don't understand, it doesn't matter how i feel about me because that's all stupid illogical bullshit. 'im great! because i say/think i am!' that makes no sense!!! and it works that way with the negative selftalk, too, to be fair, but either way, my worth/etc doesn't count if it's self-appointed because there's no real basis for it

how others perceive me and external validation is infinitely more important for that reason. fuck 'can't love others if you don't love yourself', how can i love myself if others dont? im too close to me, i cant get a good clean view, but others can. and if nobody can look at me like 'yeah, there's something there thats good and cool' how am i supposed to?

#people are like 'stop caring what others think!'#and they have people who care for them and friends and shit #real rich people saying 'money doesnt buy happiness :)' to a poor person energy #do you have high *self* esteem and always have it?#or was it developed after your worth was shown to others and reacted to positively???#be honest now #who fucking cares though #nobody reads anything i put out #shitfic or dumb baby insecurity rants on tunglr dot com #what have i even contributed to the world? with anything???#not a gd thing #what even is the point of me?#all i have to depend on is the opinions of other people - i dont exist in a vacuum #but i may as well be the visual equivalent of elevator music #barely noticed until i am and then people find me drab and annoying #fuck #to the void with love

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oifaaa · 1 year

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Most people only subscribe to Tim's A03 because they love reading the innevitable comment battle between Tim and this Austen fanfic writer whenever he uploads. Nobody knows why this writer of such elegant prose has such beef with a shitfic writer, but they live for the literay roasting that happens.

Tim's fics always have a weirdly huge amount of comments on them for the size of the fic /how many kudos the actual fic has it gets to the point if you sort all ao3 fics by comments the first 5 results are Tim's rpf batman fics

#ask #anon #Jason still doesn't know who tim is btw #He's just pissed that this rando on the Internet keeps trying to say none of what he does is actually him #Or keeps portraying him like an idiot #Who's simplifies his grievances to a microscopic level

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burstinn · 4 months

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I'm thinking of writing something cod that isn't about König again.. Love him but I need a break from him fr.

I'm giving y'all options here 😞🙏🙏

Or just say someone in a fandom idk..

Not König tho.. He needa break.

I'll be back.. In a week.

To check

#call of duty x male reader #call of duty modern warfare x male reader #cod mw2 x male reader #gay #cod x male reader #cod x reader #x male y/n #x male reader #codmw2 x reader #mlm

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essayofthoughts · 14 days

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There's this thing, sometimes, when reading fic - not shitfic, because I do read that and I know what to expect from it, but fic with actual thought and nuance, which cares about exploring trauma and fucked up emotional consequences, evenwhen when they're ugly and uncomfortable and awful -, when you realise that while the fic is willing to have the protagonists be angry but get over it with some characters, they just refuse to with others. And it can make sense to a degree - there's always one character that gets under another's skin, and there's gonna be some disagreements that just, due to individual perspectives, are that much harder to overcome. Even though having them work through it - having a character admit how and when and where they fucked up, and how severely, and the degree to which they recognise this, the internal complex, contradictory fuckery - can be fun! Can be nuanced and messy and delicious.

Then you see the fic says "[X Character] Bashing" and you realise you're never gonna get that. That those crunchy, messy, complex, fun scenes in your head? Will never leave it, because the author has decided that while they'll put in all this engaging messy nuance for (so far) literally every other character... for this single one, a flat one-sided view of a character is all they can be arsed to write.

I dunno, yeah, it's fic and you can write what you like, but bashing has always felt incredibly, astoundingly lazy to me.

#i want characters to be interesting!#not flat on-sided cardboard cutouts!#let a character admit that they fucked up!#that they did something out of selfish obsessive sort-of-love for someone #not out of love for the person as their own individual #but out of a love for what the person means to them #have them admit that and that because they felt they FAILED that person in some way they're doing something else #which they hate and feel complex conflicted resentment over #because they blame this other thing as a sign of their failure and what they think they've lost #and NO it doesn't make sense - but when do emotions ever!#and giving them that nuance #having the protagonists understand this hated character #give them better comprehension perhaps even some empathy...#but in no way help them forgive - if anything make them more disgusted and disappointed by them!#THAT IS CRUNCHY #THAT IS FUN #THAT IS FUCKED UP AND AWFUL #character bashing is a fucking DETRIMENT to nuanced and engaging writing #and i will never not be mad that some people choose the lazy way out #fic things #writing things #fandom things #tag meta #my meta #kinda

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hello-nichya-here · 3 months

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Hello!

Should I get your name off of the shitfic I wrote?

Sincerely, Akuo

Ps. I knew I should have asked beforehand, sorry

Oh don't worry, it doesn't bother me and you were really sweet.

#asks #sweet

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floopthecooper · 10 months

Text

Shitfic Masterpost

I yell at y'all about updates to my shitposty Stardew fanfiction all the dang time, but that's no longer enough. It's high time I give you a masterpost of all the shitfic.

But not just any masterpost. No, this is a compiled list of stories from

Pomegranny Farm

Pomegranny Farm is a shared Stardew universe between myself and @coolcoolglasses. Sometimes we collaborate, sometimes they write solo, and sometimes I write solo.

Farmers Mica and Shale Stone run Pomegranny Farm and they are completely and utterly useless. Some Pomegranny fics are also collected in The Misadventures of Mica Stone for... some reason.

(I may have forgotten the reason)

So far each story is self contained with minimal cross-referencing — you don't have to read everything to understand everything else, but there might be some delightful jokes for you if you do. The list below is ordered in some semblance of a timeline, but it's not necessarily a recommended reading order. Just read what you want, man. Ain't nobody gonna judge here.

Pomegranny Farm Masterlist:

Just Friends Bein' Pals (Definitely Not Bein' Jerks) ✪ First fic! I thought of a dumb joke and decided to try it out. The ASS trio play pranks on one another. Maybe there's a little character development. Status: Complete

Operation: Get Marnie A New Man ✪ Longform collaborative fic with @coolcoolglasses! Marnie deserves better, and only two big dumb idiots are suited to team up and figure it out. Shennanigans happen. Sometimes we draw stuff for it too. Status: Ongoing

Scenes From A Pelican Town Restaurant ✪ A hold-my-beer fic! Leah and Elliott are meddling hens and decide that Clint needs romance. Status: Ongoing / Temporary Hiatus

Smalldew Valley ✪ Prompt fic! Sometimes I'll get a writing prompt, and sometimes I'll write something using said prompt. Basically it's a bunch of character and world building outside of the main storylines. Status: Updates when prompted

Vincent's Super Scary Spirit's Eve Story or: THE SCARY ATTAK OF THE GHOSTS ✪ Spoopy fic! We had a dumb idea (what if Vinnie wrote a creepypasta) and ran with it. Status: Oneshot, Complete

Shell Game ✪ Fic for funsies! Elliott writes a (bad) creepypasta-type story. It's not good. He should stick to romance or science fiction. Status: Oneshot, Complete

Alternative Medicine ✪ Sassy fic! Harvey: God damn it I have an MD. Emily: ARE U SURE ABOUT THAT— Status: Ongoing / Temporary Hiatus

A Worthy Goal ✪ Wholesome fic! Harvey and Elliott work through a midlife crisis panic attack. Status: Oneshot, Complete

I'm Really Proud of You, Man ✪ Extra content from chapter 29 of Operation: Marnie. Leah wants to know what's up! Supportive fic! Sam can be a good friend. Sometimes. Status: Oneshot, Complete

Book Signing ✪ Comics? In my AO3? It's more likely than you think. One for each of Elliott's book signings, @coolcoolglasses wrote and illustrated the comics and I illustrated most of the book covers. Status: Complete

Call Me ✪ Extra content from chapter 29 of Operation: Marnie. Leah wants to know what's up! Status: Oneshot, Complete

#sdv #stardew valley #dsv #diverse stardew valley #sdv fanfic #fic collaboration!#floop's work #Pomegranny Farm #masterpost #O:GMaNM #SmdV #SFaPTR #oneshots

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