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silvery-orchid · 10 months

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BE A BETTER PET FOR ME.

synopsis: neuvillette found a perfect use for you after you left your homeland. (honestly this is so depraved and filthy and messed up i will just give you the warnings so you can decide if you wish to read it. neuvillete the man that you are!!)

pairing: dom!yan! neuvillette x fem!sub!reader; (mentions of dom!yan!dottore x reader) warnings: blowjobs, dubcon (barely), humping, dom/sub dynamics, breeding, pet play, hard kinks, masochist reader, facials, handjobs; mentions of: gang bangs, blackmail, hypnosis, bdsm, bondage, has plot kind of, probably more i can't think of right now.

You've always had to answer to someone in your life. Someone higher than you because they gaze down on everyone and you should be grateful they spared you a glance and asked you anything. If they relied on you get something done - at the orphanage you grew up in or the elections you ran - you should have counted yourself lucky they needed you at all. Leaving Snezhnaya wasn't easy by any means but luck and bravery happened to be on your side that night. No, maybe it was an idea of grandeur on your part?

Regardless of the reason, in your life you learned not to ask too many questions and Fontaine was not hard for you to get used to. Being part of this justice system reminded you of something familiar but far more noble than sending children to their punishments. And, while it did resemble a show, you weren't surprised by that - the only thing that surprised you was your boss.

Neuvillette, the archetypal leader with enough calm and manipulative wit to stand elevated above everyone. People marvelled at him, some were jealous that you were the one to carry his paperwork back and forth and you only have Neuvillette to thank for being so ruthless and cold they never suspected anything else.

In public settings, he didn't allow you to even stand near him. During work hours, you were treated just like anyone else. But after everyone left; Neuvillette never let you run away.

At first, given his nature, you thought you were being too paranoid. You thought his intense gaze that made you drop your pens was just his way of saying you were not good enough. His tugs at your clothes were only reminders of how sloppy you were, surely. He only did that to make you more presentable because he couldn't stand the sight of you. That must have been it.

However, you quickly realized that he was simply a man who wanted to control everything. People had specific roles to fulfil in his eyes and you should have been even more paranoid about your own.

Doubts went away on the night his gloved hand slid up your skirt during a banquet he didn't deem important enough. He saw you standing in the hallway and told you to follow him. He was so calm and composed even when locking the door behind him and pressing you against it. He didn't flinch while you were confused, his fingers were already sliding up your thigh.

'Your dress tonight is far too tempting. Simply groping you to fix it won't be enough.' were the last words he said before sliding your panties to the side and covering your mouth with his hand.

Neuvillette did not have enough regard for you that would disobey his wishes and, while you just remember being hazy, you don't remember fighting his advances.

And that is how it all began. Soon enough, your main job of sorting documents became secondary even if you still had to carry it out with perfection.

Your main job and joy transformed into being perfect enough for him to breed and break. You were lucky nobody was allowed to enter into his office without a direct invitation. If anyone did, they might have found you pressed against the walls or chained to his desk. Perhaps, they would have found you on a pile of important paperwork you brought with his cock buried deep inside while he manhandles you.

But he was so good at it. Sometimes you would stand on the sidelines during his speeches or trials and you would feel warm just from looking at him on that podium. He was always, always above you and a twisted need find it's way between your legs. You would never admit to anyone but him to where you disappeared to. You would never even tell him how, if he was on the radio, you would masturbate to his voice alone.

And fuck, did he have such a nice voice. Anytime it gave you a command, your spine would feel it. If he gave you praise and called you a 'perfect dumb toy', your body would get flushed. If he degraded you? You just felt the need to hear his insults over and over again. Neuvillette was a selfish man, but he loved to see and hear you break.

Right now, you were sitting down next to his chair. He was signing off the final papers you brought with one hand while his other absentmindedly played with your hair.

He would soon be finished. Your eyes carefully traced his movements in anticipation. Soon he would be done and you wouldn't have to keep rubbing your thighs together. Sometimes you would glance at this lap and see that he was already half hard. His libido was insatiable. And it felt so nice to know you were the only one he would breed and stain with his cum.

When he put the last stamp, you looked up at him. He didn't issue you a command and you didn't dare to do anything on your own.

'What? Are you looking at me and hoping for something?'

His voice was always cold unless he was moaning and panting against yohr body. Perhaps that is why you enjoyed everything he did if it made you feel wanted by a man like him?

'Are you so eager to moan out you love me while you cream all over my cock again?'

He hadn't even done anything and you were starting to get wet. Who would imagine such a proper man respected by all would ever say such a thing? Nobody. And that was the allure. Only you knew how much his depravity ran.

'Pet, move over in front of me.' A command. Finally. He could see your eyes light up as you dragged yourself over the floor to kneel down. Your thighs rubbed together and Neuvillette realized just how much he had spoilt you when your hand reached for his belt.

He glared at you and that was enough sign that you had done something wrong. To make it look like an accident, you placed it on his knee instead and rubbed small circles just so that he could feel the warmth of your skin.

Maybe he would punish you by tying you up again? Or he would deny your orgasms and cum on your stomach to prove you weren't good enough for him to actually fuck?

'Tell me pet, am I the best man you've ever been with?'

That was odd. Neuvillette never asked you questions of this nature. Usually they were only questions during passion like: 'You love being dragged on the floor don't you?' and 'Wouldn't you just look so good pregnant and stuffed with my seed?'. But this was new.

'The best man I've been with?' Maybe this was a new game of making you embarrassed? It certainly did the trick

'Y-Yes.' 'Prove it to me then. Before I replace you.'

Even from the darkness inside his office and your current position now you could see that light smirk he had while resting his head on his hand. He wanted to be especially cruel tonight but you never thought he would replace you so soon.

With a shaky hand and a racing mind you reached out for his belt. He allowed it this time but he wasn't amused. If he wanted to replace you, you'd just have to make him feel better than ever before.

Your thighs were so hot and warm you couldn't control yourself. You wanted nothing more than to put his cock in your mouth. No time to undress him or tug down your own clothes.

Neuvellitte let you just free his cock from the restraints and it was already hard by that look on your face. Warm skin, glassy eyes that didn't look anywhere else and complete obedience were in front of him. How could he not enjoy the face you didn't even realize your mouth was open before you pressed yourself forward to lick his tip.

He was such a pale man and yet his tip was the most beautiful shade of red to you. Your fingers wrapped around his girthy and veiny cock and your hips jerked slightly. You remembered how nice it felt when it was inside you - stretching you and hitting all the spots. You had to thank his generosity by circling the tip of it with your tongue. Your excitement was so immense that your mouth was filling with spit and since it was so late Neuvillette didn't care if it got all over his cock and dripped down to his pants.

You were so eager and adorable, looking blissful before he even did anything to you. He thought it would make him happy but instead he furrowed his brow.

'Not good enough.'

You barely had time to register what he said before he gripped your jaw and pulled your head up. The sudden shift had you groaning because you were still on your knees.

'You say i am the best man you've been with yet that look on your face didn't change.'

What was he talking about?

'It looks the same on the photos where you're sucking off that doctor. Tell me, did you take me for a fool?'

All the warmth in your body suddenly disappears. You feel cold, colder than ever. Maybe even cold like your homeland and the messed up laboratory Dottore forced you in. Neuvillette knew. He knew about your past and the fact you were a fugitive. Would he turn you in? Wait, was this his messed up trial to prove you didn't deserve this comfortable life?

You were shivering by this point and refusing to cry but you simply couldn't stop your eyes from getting teary when Neuvillette tossed an envelope and all the photos flew out.

It reminded you what you ran way from and what formed all these kinks Neuvillette triggered again.

There was a photo of you in a cow bikini drinking milk from a bowl on the floor with bruised hands. Then, there was one of you being tied to his table. Another one of you with a special device that hypnotised you. One where you were covered in cum all over your body. And the last one was the one Neuvillette spoke of; it was from when Dottore made you fuck him and some of his clothes. A perfect shot of you giving one of them a blowjob that he took.

But you ran away! You did everything you could! Was this a warning? How did Neuvillette get this envelope?

'I never thought you would dare lie in front of me. You should know better than that.'

His voice was cold but never like this. Never did you feel hatred from it but not it was different. Neuvillette hated you and you lost everything you had. Your hair was standing up, your hands were shaking and you could feel your heartbeat pounding away in your ears. Neuvillette was getting blurry and you were growing more desperate.

Then, when he saw you like that, completely afraid and dependent on him, Neuvillette's twisted desires grew. No where on those photos did you look so lost and desperate. He was probably the first man to make you feel that way and he couldn't deny how your brokenness made his cock throb. Then, he decided to be your saviour instead. Preventing crime and punishing it went hand and hand. He would throw you a bone to cling to, and would get a pet even more eager to please.

How desperately he wanted to see your ruin. To hear it and taste it on his tongue.

'Prove to me how desperate you are and I might take pity on you.'

Save you from himself? You aren't sure if it was the glimmer of hope or the messiness in your head at all those years in Dottore's hands that made you act but your blood started to flow and bloom again.

All you had to do was prove just how good and desperate you are. Nobody was better at that than you and nobody got more wet at the idea of it.

You placed your knees on the sides of Neuvillette's left leg. Those glassy eyes of yours and tear strained cheeks were a sight to behold when he saw you were looking up at him in marvel. Then, you rested your head on his knee and reached to jerk him off with your right hand. Your head was hazy and tired, but your hips were moving on their own. You were grinding down on his boot; you were fucking yourself crazy on it.

That night, you kept humping his foot until you reached the most intense and messy orgasm. You were so fucked out and desperate you probably didn't even know you were drooling and slobbering all over his pants while moaning how you were a good pet; how badly you wanted him to fuck you. Fuck, you didn't even realize your hand had stopped moving before he reached his high because you tired yourself out and fell asleep.

But Neuvillete didn't mind; he simply let you stay on his lap looking so serene before he gave his cock a few final strokes to paint your face white.

Maybe he should thank that man for sending him this envelope. Maybe even for training you to be such a perfect pet. But one thing was for sure, he definitely wouldn't let you go anytime soon.

avert you eyes. i was hormonal

#yandere neuvillette #neuvillette x reader #genshin smut #neuvillette smut #genshin x reader #genshin neuvillette #yan genshin #genshin imagines #genshin impact

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enbesbians · 6 months

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thinking of some random ellie hcs...

this is a repost…

these headcannons are purely based off what i think ellie would be or what i think she'd do. tell me if you agree or send a specific headcannon if you'd like. im always open.

ALSO! i have big fucking hands and i mistype all the time and somehow even though i think aloud when i type i forget to add the word... so if there's any mistakes….. pay no mind…. please.

sfw hc:

• modern day ellie definitely had an emo phase, fringe and all. her hair all disheveled, doodling on her arm as her 'tattoos'.

• she most definitely had a 'im not gay' phase. she was so paranoid of anyone finding out that she was attracted to girls, if a group of friends of hers complimented one of them, ellie would say something like, "yeah... you're cool... or whatever" thinking if she ever called one of them pretty, they'd find out. simultaneously alway asking hypothetical questions like, "what if we got married...? that would be so crazy right? …yeah."

• her first kiss was absolutely the most awkward, painful kiss anyone could witness. she's definitely gotten better but her first kiss was just a long press... eyes all the way open.

• she'd have numerous bruises and scars from skateboarding. she seems like the type to try to do tricks with majority of them busting her ass. she'd come in with a cast on her arm and a scratch on her cheek saying, "hey guys!" as if she didn't look like she ate shit.

• she either wears a binder or no bra at all. i can see her liking the idea of being flat chested even though she is on the smaller side (which i find cute) and she'd flex in the mirror whenever she'd put it on. other times, she might be braless and not care that her nipples are poking out of her shirt.

• this brings me to my next he, she'd most definitely have nipple piercings... here me out... but it'd only be one. i dunno why i see her with only one, but it seems fitting. she'd have the standard bar and circle balls.

• she throughly enjoys metal music and dabbled in the punk scene. she wouldn't go full out in her wardrobe, she's definitely a wear a band shirt and have patches on my jacket from time to time kinda gal. you'd see her in local punk show events, in the pit going rampant. that would also be another way how'd she get random bruises scattered on her.

here's some nsfw ones..

• she loves getting head standing up. your nose plunging and bumping up into her clit. just to have her pants still at the center of her thighs with her hand behind your head, fucking your face and watching you do it? that would make her go absolutely feral.

• after fingering you shes definitely the type to want to smell her fingers but discreetly. even if it were to bump against your pussy, she'd act like her nose would itch but she's so bad at trying to be nonchalant that you'd notice.

• she's a lesbian porn feen. she likes to watch homemade videos where the quality is all fucked up and grainy or even the solo ones where the girl is fucking herself so mercifully. she definitely talks to the screen as if they could hear her saying things like, "yeah... keep fucking that pretty pussy" or "make her feel that cock." when she's watching strap video.

• there's a lot of discourse around if ellie is an ass or boob kind of gal and quite honestly, i think she's both. she'd wrap her arms around you, groping your breast while grinding herself on your ass.

• she loves to trib/scissors. to have her clit against yours and rut herself as fast as she can would have her incredibly high off lust. she's into the missionary kind, where your legs are pulled back and she's squatting down on you so she could feel everything.

• she has an outtie in regards to her pussy. for some reason i see her being a little more 'fleshy' down there. i can see her having a clit a little on the bigger side and having flowery vulva so whenever you have her head, she'd fill your mouth whenever you sucked it.

• she has body hair but not large amounts just a bit on her legs. she has a happy trail for sure and she maintains her pubes where it's not a full on bush but it's not completely bald either. picture your hair growing back after it's been completely shaven off and shes about two weeks in growth.

• she wears her strap in public sometimes. something about her screams, ‘i can fuck you right here, right now, just ask and ill whip it out.’

that's all, thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#lesbian #sapphic #wlw #tlou #the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie x you #ellie williams headcanons #ellie headcanons #ellie williams smut #ellie x masc reader #ellie smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie tlou2 #ellie x reader #ellie the last of us

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ovaryacted · 7 months

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TOUCH

PAIRING: Leon Kennedy x gn!reader

CONTENT/WARNINGS: 18+/MDNI. Slight NSFW at the end! Kissing. Light Handjob. Just Leon craving your touch because he's a needy softie and he gets clingy.

WC: 1.1k

NOTES: Just a little drabble I worked on at 3 am for absolutely no reason lol. A little inspired by this one post made by @wherenymphsroam that got me thinking about this particular interaction and I wanted to build off on it a bit. I also didn't think of a specific version of Leon, so insert whichever one your heart desires!

Leon is cute when he’s needy, his constant affection a sign of his intensely growing attachment to you. He always needs to touch you, always needs to be near you, both as a form of reassurance and out of habit.

He’d hold your hand whenever he could, especially when participating in the domestic duties that came with being in a relationship, like grocery shopping or heading down to that cafe two blocks down from his place. He liked to gently rub his thumb over your hand, making sure your fingers were intertwined together, and sometimes absentmindedly kissed your knuckles and palm. Something about your hands brought him a sense of comfort that’s convinced him he couldn’t live without feeling them in any capacity.

In reality, Leon is just addicted to you, it’s that simple. You filled all of his senses completely, each in their regard a sign of his everlasting devotion to you and only you. You never complained, knowing that your boyfriend would rather show you his wants and needs over vocalizing them.

When he gets handsy it doesn’t take you by surprise anymore. If he didn’t find you in his bed in the morning, he knows you’d probably be in the kitchen drinking your coffee at the start of your day. He’d come up groggily behind you, head full of bed hair as he wrapped his arms around your waist, digging his face into your neck. Placing soft kisses against your skin, you’d merely hum at him, realizing how touching you seemed to be part of his daily routine.

He’s a cuddler, enjoying being in your arms and resting with you when you both have the time to indulge. You don’t think he’d ever admit it, but he loves it when you run your fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp, his chest rumbling out a deep sigh as his head rested on your chest.

You also noticed how he was rather fond of your chest as a whole, using it as a personal stress ball or a pillow, same with your ass. Wearing a T-shirt in the apartment? He’d slip a hand underneath it just to give you a squeeze or rub. If you wore shorts or any baggy pants, he’d simply squeeze at your behind whenever he could, providing a soft pat when he walked by you.

There wasn’t a time of day where you didn’t find Leon touching you. The consistency of his behavior only warmed your heart more, knowing that if he ever stopped touching you there was something seriously wrong.

But what you loved most was just how pathetic Leon could get when he was desperate for your touch. It would always start the same, with you feeling his presence against your back. He’d start to kiss at any visible skin he could reach, breathing in your scent from behind your ear. You didn’t have to verbally ask him what had gotten into him, you already knew, but you still liked to tease him anyway.

“You need something?”, he’d hear you say, in that same tantalizing voice that would only make his dick throb. With a hum, Leon would softly bite your ear, sending a shiver down your spine at the touch.

“Need you”, it never amazed you how his voice would betray him so quickly, dropping an octave and raspier than before. It always lit the fire deep in your gut when you heard him like that.

You turned around to face him, looking into his eyes and noticing the growing blush on his cheeks. He took your hand in his, placing it on the growing bulge in his sweatpants and exhaling when he felt your touch.

“How long have you been like this?”, a silly question really, fully aware that all it took from you was a glance for Leon to get hard.

“A while. I was just thinking about you”, he muttered, hips pressing into your palm to gain more friction.

“You’re always thinking about me”

“Yeah, and I never hear you complaining”, he said, making you roll your eyes at the grin he had on his face.

You palmed Leon’s hardening cock through his sweats and took a glimpse at his pretty face. His eyes were already growing hazy, nostrils flaring out the slightest bit and biting at his bottom lip the more persistent your groping became. God, you could stare at him for hours whenever he got in the mood, just watching over every reaction he gave you with hungry eyes.

“Always need me to touch you, right?”, you moved closer to him then, one hand on his chest, and the other moving to trace the drawstring of his pants.

“All the damn time”, Leon nodded dumbly, taking your hips into his hands and squeezing gently, moving down to your ass and beginning to knead. You could only call his actions endearing, wanting to be touched so much that he didn’t know what to do with himself when it came to returning it.

Tilting your head up, you kissed him, holding on to the back of his neck and hearing him moan in your mouth. His growing need for you was evident in the way he kissed, eager for more and not satisfied until he felt your tongue against his. You pulled away too soon for his liking, forcing himself to swallow the whimper that settled in his throat.

You smirked at him, sneaking your hand underneath the waistband of his sweats to grasp his length fully, the groan he let out causing your underwear to dampen with your growing arousal. This was why you liked having Leon home, where he could go commando and you’d reap the benefits.

Pumping him slowly, you left kisses on his neck, soft and gentle in contrast to the intense way you made him feel. Leon threw his head back a bit, letting your lips graze over his pulse point and bite, his large hands clutching at your body to ground himself.

“Wanna feel you baby”, you whispered to him in his ear, your tone making his cock pulse in your hand, desperate for more attention.

“Please…”, he said, pulling his head back to look at you once more.

He kissed you again, walking you clumsily until your back was pinned to the kitchen counter behind you. You could feel your lips curl up in a smile as the blonde kissed you greedily, knowing that you had him wrapped around your finger. Not that Leon had any gripes about that, there was no other place he’d rather be than to the mercy of your touch. That’s where he belonged, and that’s where he’ll stay for as long as you’d let him.

©️ ovaryacted 2023. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

#leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy imagine #resident evil smut #resident evil imagines #resident evil drabble #resident evil fanfic #resident evil leon kennedy #leon kennedy #ovaryacted drabbles #⋆♱ nic works ♱⋆

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amourdivine · 8 months

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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🦢 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄?

Hello, lovelies! I hope you're doing well. I bring you another romance topic today, found from the vault, forgotten in my Google Docs folder! Let me know how it resonates. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo. ♡

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how to choose your pile. take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

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disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

PILE 01. 🕊️

who is this person? page of wands, the sun rx, seven of pentacles rx.

This person is very, very impatient. They tend to be more immature and on the feistier side, I definitely think they’re an extrovert or someone with Leo, Sagittarius or Aries in their big three. They might rush into things and have a bit of a self-sabotaging energy to them. Honestly, I think this person underestimates themselves and act out of passion and desire, so they’re not the most careful in love. They tend to be pessimistic because they wonder why their relationships go wrong, but they can rush into situations before they’re even ready and not always be willing to put the effort and time required for things to develop. Since they’re also being represented by the Page of Wands, you might question their feelings and motives towards you because they might seem fickle, even a bit childish for some of you. They have a lot of young energy, it could be in age or simply in their nature. By the way, this is definitely a new person, not someone from your past. I’m also getting more of a masculine vibe, but it doesn’t necessarily correlate to any specific gender.

how are they truly feeling? six of pentacles, two of wands, the sun.

They see a lot of potential in your relationship with them. Like I said, this person tends to rush into things, so they aren’t super in their feelings about it, but they’re feeling very positive and they’re already wanting to make a move. This person could simply have a crush on you at first, since I don’t get any deeper feelings involved here. However, this person enjoys your presence a lot! You might have started out as friends and they love being in your presence, it turns their frown upside down. Since we also got The Sun card in the last question but in reverse, I think you make them feel more positive, happier and lighter in general. They are imagining a lot of things in their head for your future, but they feel that this connection is balanced and it could go somewhere much better than where it’s at. That’s also why they’re rushing, because they don’t want to waste any time.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? ten of swords rx, king of wands rx, two of cups.

They’re resisting these feelings. This person might be exhausted of all their thinking and imagining before they confess to you - they can’t wait any longer. They’re going to feel restricted and that’s why they’ll take action, so they’ll be super impulsive towards you. It might come out of the blue, at a totally random moment and it could shock you, but they’ll want to make sure to make it up to you later somehow. Maybe they’ll be venting to you and at one point they might kiss you recklessly or send a risky text. They’ll probably invite you to a date (especially dinner date) later on so that they can show you they’re interested and it’s not something that they told you just for the sake of it. They might be naturally flirty towards others, which is also why they’ll want to take you out, so you know that their feelings are romantic indeed, even if they’re at a very initial stage. They’ll be very, very nervous and fidgety (lol), might also stutter a bit and seem kind of random towards you. Honestly, there’s a lot of passion and you’ll seem even more attractive in their eyes. I can’t help but feel that they’ll try and plan everything out, only to be super hasty and clumsy with their confession (aw).

additional messages: summer breeze, “easy like sunday morning,” frat party, college roommates, sapphic/wlw, silk chiffon by muna & phoebe bridgers, 6:66, 222, light blue, hazy, champagne bubbles.

PILE 02. 🐇

who is this person? five of swords, the lovers, knight of cups.

This is someone whom you might have had a disagreement with. The intensity of this confrontation likely wasn’t anything light, so you could’ve had a falling out of sorts. They have a lot of air and Gemini energy, so there’s a duality to them that can be confusing and contradicting to you, because of their sharp wit and their spontaneous nature. This person seems like a lot! Not in a bad way, but they have a very proud and stubborn personality as well. With the Knight of Cups, this is someone who had and still has romantic feelings for you, whether you’ve known it or not. Even if you didn’t have any romantic involvement with this person, they nurse something very romantic and dreamy for you. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was an ex of yours, someone whom you were in a relationship with and ended things very badly. However, they’re not over you and no matter how difficult this situation must’ve been, they still love you very much.

how are they truly feeling? five of pentacles, nine of pentacles rx, strength.

It’s surprising to me that this Strength card came out upright, because they’re not actually feeling strong at all. This person might be putting up a front, honestly. They could have some significant Leo placements and they might have turned this thing into a competition of “who cares less.” Which is immature, of course, but they feel left out in the cold, like all the future they had with you was lost. Even if they’re determined to make it back to you somehow, they feel that all of their chances and options were wasted and in vain. However, since we’re talking about their feelings, I don’t think it’s true that there are no options left here. They could be stuck in a self pitying mentality and that’s also what’s making them so miserable, even if they want to make things right again so badly. This person could type it out their feelings in a billion unsent texts and still be too proud to make a move.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? judgement, eight of wands rx, wheel of fortune rx.

Enough time will have passed you by and the dust will have settled. They’ll make this choice because I can almost hear them saying to themselves “enough is enough.” Things will feel stagnant and for some of you, you might have even forgotten or let go of this person after this time of silence. They’re going to make this call after a very long time because they’ll realize that they’ve wasted too much time agonizing over these feelings and their pain instead of solving it. I pulled another card for clarification and got the Knight of Cups again, so they’ll probably realize they’re still not over you and that’s something they need to get off their chest. Honestly, I think they’ll be much more humble and loving the next time you speak to them, not only because they want to tell you how they truly feel and show their vulnerable side, but also because they don’t really expect much out of you. They could feel that they’re out of luck and out of chances to be with you, so you’ll have to be really clear about your feelings with this person, pile two, because they’re very fearful, but they’re pouring their heart out into this confession because it’ll be anything but easy to them. Also, the Universe might have nudged them a little to make this call.

additional messages: broken strings by james morrison & nelly furtado, “i know i was wrong but i regret it now,” “i’ve been a fool,” leo, sagittarius, capricorn, gemini, “i regret what i said,” “our fight was really triggering,” sorry by justin bieber, 888, 999, 10:10, february, aquarius mars.

PILE 03. 🐻‍❄️

who is this person? the tower, two of swords, six of pentacles.

This is someone who’s been through a lot, pile three. I think they can come across as insecure or even indecisive. They may be hard to read or someone who isn’t quite your type, but since they’re your next/first partner, it’ll be a welcomed surprise. They may struggle with making decisions, especially when it comes to confessing their feelings for you, because they might’ve been through a lot of difficult moments - like I said, this Tower also makes me wonder if they’re resisting some sort of change or feeling towards you because of their own fears. However, they try their best to be balanced. I think they’re very generous, very giving and caring towards people, but they may be harsh on themselves at times. This person could be a Libra, a Taurus or a Capricorn. I feel like they’re quite stubborn and they don’t actually like to take many risks. Perhaps being in love with you is something they found quite shocking, so it might take them some time to understand it.

how are they truly feeling? king of swords, queen of cups, the hanged one.

So, I think after meditating on it for a little while, they’ll eventually evolve into a more mature, self-assured and calm energy. It may take them a while, as I said, but they’ll want to do this the right way, looking very steady and confident. This King of Swords is very logical and quite upfront, but they may be hiding their softer and more emotional side by the time they come forward. I think that the moment they confess to you, it won’t sound very emotional, but they’ll definitely be hiding this Queen of Cups underneath the King of Swords. The Hanged Man makes me think they’ll be patient with you, instead of demanding an answer right away, this person will want you to think about it, to really ponder over how you feel as well. But it also gives me the energy of someone who’s done enough contemplation over their feelings, hence why this King of Swords will come on strongly. They may seem more confident than what they actually feel, perhaps colder than intended, but they do have very strong feelings, they just don’t want to come off as too vulnerable or too emotional by the time they come clean about this.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? page of pentacles, the high priestess, six of swords.

There’s some healing coming from this person’s end. I cannot help but wonder if this person is someone you study or work with, but in whichever case, their offer will be something small, but significant to them. It may not be a “full blown date”, like something super luxurious, but they may offer to grab a cup of coffee with you to talk about these feelings. Something more subtle rather than super out there. Even the High Priestess itself has a more lowkey energy, so it’s possible they’ll try to do it in a more private or secluded space. I think this person will want to have a more quiet one on one with you, so it doesn’t seem like it’ll be a grand gesture. You likely won’t see this coming, so by the time they confess, you’ll have to use your intuition in order to see through that King of Swords energy I mentioned. They truly just want to let you know - I don’t think they have any high expectations over this, because the Six of Swords here gives me the idea that they’ll want to heal and move forward in case you reject them. With or without you, they’ll want to embark on a healing journey and keep going either way. They might feel a sense of relief or calm afterwards, like they have finally let these feelings and secret thoughts of you out. It’s going to be something very revealing for the both of you, something which will help them progress, whether this connection progresses or not. Of course, since this is your next partner, it’ll help the both of you move forward with your relationship and develop something from there.

additional messages: libra/7th house stellium, “i’ve made up my mind”, throw it on the fire by jon mclaughlin, “my life without you is just time”, somewhere only we know by keane, “i just want to know how you feel,” “take your time.”

PILE 04. 🦢

who is this person? nine of swords, ten of wands, judgment.

I think this is someone who is always looking for “the light at the end of the tunnel.” It’s worth mentioning I am using the Vice Versa deck for your pile, so the imagery here is a little different than the original A.E. Waite deck. They’re likely a very hardworking and fierce person, but they’re also afraid of relying on others and asking for help. A little too proud, maybe? They could be an Aries or a Leo, but I’m more specifically getting Leo from this person. They’ve been through a lot, but still, they feel like life keeps throwing curveballs at them. Honestly, this person may suffer from burnout by the time you meet them, they may be a workaholic or someone very ambitious who wants to carve their own path in life. They may have had to start all over many times and have had a hard time finding their true calling in life, but they’ve begun to overcome these issues. This person can be very stubborn as well, maybe they don’t like hearing advice or asking for it somehow. I think you’ll recognize them by the way they try to tackle everything on their own and are a bit too proud to admit when something isn’t working or when they’re in the wrong, but they do mean well.

how are they truly feeling? three of cups, knight of cups, the emperor.

They might be friends with you, but the feelings are too strong for them to deny it. However, with The Emperor, it kind of confirms the fire energy for me, especially Aries as well. So they’re a little bit ashamed of how soft they truly feel for you. It’s interesting because despite wanting to look and feel in power, they just want to give you the world, even if you might reject them. This person is hopeful, though. They’ll want to look very confident and may even show off a little bit, but they want to impress you and that’s also why this Emperor is coming through. They can (and want to) give you everything you want, to be the kind of partner who honors you, someone you’re proud of. They’ve got great intentions, even though they’re not very good at communicating or explaining their feelings, they may have a little bit of a “rough edge” to them or have a very, very rational and inflexible approach about the way they feel. It’s almost like they’ll try to be very self-controlled and tough not to seem vulnerable, but deep down, these feelings are very real and they truly cherish your company. Again, I think this person will be friends with you - or at least try to remain friends before moving forward with their confession.

what are the circumstances regarding this confession? the star, queen of pentacles, two of pentacles.

They’re very hopeful! They may want to take you out somewhere fancy, give you the best of the best treatment and make you feel like a royal by their side. You may even find them to be a bit foolish? They’ll be so eager to please you, honestly. I even feel like the man in this Two of Pentacles card is juggling all things at once so he looks impressive or busy, when in fact, he’s struggling to keep up. I think this will be a very important and fancy date, something more.. official? Not something casual or anything you may take for granted. They want to make sure you’re comfortable and may even gawk at you a little bit. They find you really beautiful, pile four, that’s undeniable. There’s a lot of hope - they’re one hundred percent confident you’ll want them back (lol). I think both of you will be dressed up nicely, likely going somewhere to dine or walk? They think you’ve got everything, like you’re the full package, baby! It’s interesting that they’ll try to come off as The Emperor, but deep down I think they’ll try to find all of the ways in which they can “woo” you and make you theirs.

additional messages: “i’m worth it,” solar plexus chakra, if you want somebody by jon mclaughlin, poker face, “please notice”, the way you look tonight (cover) by shawn mendes, “can i kiss you?", fire signs, leo or aries venus/mars.

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lucid-loves · 2 months

Text

First Light ~ Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 4

Pairing: bodyguard!Ghost x princess!reader (fem!reader)

Word Count: 4.4k

CW: angst, violence, blood, strong language, scars, verbal abuse by parents, physical abuse by parents, psychological abuse by parents, opposites attract, forbidden love, slow burn, fluff, attraction and sexual tension, reader POV and ghost POV, minors DNI, smut, virgin reader, first kiss

Let me know if I missed any CWs.

Story Synopsis: After receiving death threats from a mysterious terrorist organization, your royal parents make a decision to reach out to the United States for help. Specifically, they want the US to send a bodyguard to protect their precious princess. When the 141 is called upon to investigate, Ghost is the one assigned to protect you. With your lack of experiences outside of your royal life and his experience with nothing but deadly, worldly affairs, opposites attract.

Chapter Synopsis: It’s time to head to the safehouse that Ghost set up for the both of you. Before you leave though, Ghost introduces you to some new experiences in your own country. While he takes care of you, you find yourself falling for him even more to the point where you want to test curiosity of yours.

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5

“Has the duke spilled his guts yet?” Ghost asked Soap, making the last minute arrangements for the safehouse as quick as he could. While he would’ve liked to have been the one to interrogate the bastard in his own special way, he didn’t want to leave you alone for too long. Luckily, Soap arrived quickly to take care of the interrogation for him. He was glad that his sergeant didn’t mind talking with his fists too.

“Bits and pieces. Not much though. At least, nothing that will really bolster our investigation. He seems like he genuinely doesn’t know much about the organization he decided to trust. They just made him safety and financial promises which he took without question.” Soap revealed, wiping stray specks of blood on his arms with a warm, moist cloth provided by a maid.

Ghost hummed in annoyance. An idiot like the duke, who was so willing to sell out your life along with your country, wasn’t worth breathing the same air as you. He would kill him if he could. It would be doing the world a favor. “What about the servant?”

Soap shrugged and shook his head. “Still working on that one, Lt. He’s been asleep.”

“Asleep?” Ghost repeated, hardly believing what his sergeant just told him.

“According to the guards, when the man was taken in for custody, he just dropped dead asleep. Coma-level sleep. We can’t get him to wake up. I’ve contacted the team about it and Kate is going to send an expert to test for drugs. We think that he might’ve taken something before being taken into custody. Capsule in the teeth kind of shit.” Soap explained carefully, making sure he covered everything that he needed to cover.

“What about guest statements? Anything useful?” Ghost continues, his patience wearing thin. He needed a win. They all did. This was no longer just a concerned parental request. A whole country was truly at stake of being taken over by terrorists.

Once again, Soap shook his head. “Sorry, Lt. Everything is on record so you’re free to read through everything just in case I missed something, but the only thing we can do is continue our investigation and wait for the servant to wake up.”

Little did they know that you were just outside the doors, listening to their whole conversation. You were finished packing what you thought you needed with the help from your maid staff. So, you ended up leaving the room in search of Ghost to let him know that you were ready to go.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop. You only meant to wait patiently for their conversation to wrap up. But you couldn’t unhear what was being discussed. It scared you that they haven’t been able to uncover much regarding these terrorists that were after your country and life. It was even scarier to know that there wasn’t much you could do except trust in Ghost and his team.

Finally, you mustered up your courage and gave the door a light knock before coming in. “Pardon me. I’m all set to go to the safehouse.”

Soap’s expression lit up at the sight of you, his lighthearted, playful side coming through immediately. You were fascinated with how different he appeared compared to Ghost. A little shorter, stylish faux mohawk, and a smile that brought life to the prim and proper room. A part of you was expecting Ghost’s teammate to be more like him. Was the 141 actually quite diverse? What was the rest of his team like?

“Well hello, Princess Y/n! I’m Sergeant Mactavish, but people call me Soap. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you after all the things Ghost has said about you.” He greeted you warmly, holding out his hand for a casual handshake. Without thinking, you took it, your own eyes brightening up along with your cheeks.

“A pleasure to meet you as well, Sergeant Mactavish. Ghost talks about me?” You couldn’t help but clarify, your eyes meeting Ghost’s who just averted his gaze. God damn it, Soap!

“He-”

“That’s enough, Sergeant! Get back to work.” Ghost shut him down swiftly, the word of the lieutenant being final. It didn’t hurt Soap though. In fact, he was used to Ghost reacting this way which he thought was hilarious.

With a chuckle, Soap took his leave out of the room. “Aw well, maybe next time! See you later, Princess.”

As he walked out, you smiled, feeling uplifted by the interaction. Meeting Soap was like meeting an old friend. You hoped that you would be able to meet him again, especially to hear the kinds of things Ghost said about you. For now, you redirected your attention back to Ghost who looked more tired than usual.

“Are you feeling alright, Lieutenant Ghost? You look like you need some rest.” You gently pointed out, your brows furrowing in concern. Ghost’s soul warmed up like a fireplace being started at your consideration.

“I’ll be alright. No need to worry about me. You said that you were all ready to go?” He switched topics quickly, not wanting you to worry too much about him. He would catch up on rest later. The most important thing was getting you to a safer place. That would be his safe space to rest too.

You gave a sheepish smile as he redirected the attention onto you. “Indeed. I would prefer to leave sooner rather than later. I hope that me being ready does not rush you.”

He wanted to shower you with praise over you being such a good girl. Ghost was incredibly grateful that you weren’t fussy whatsoever. “No, that’s perfect. We should be getting out of here now.”

An armored car was waiting right outside the palace to take you to the safehouse, already loaded up with just a few suitcases. You weren’t sure how long you were going to be at the safehouse, but you only packed necessities. No formal wear, no jewelry. Nothing that would take up too much space. As you stood on the palace steps, you took a deep breath of fresh air. Birds were chirping excitedly, a slight breeze cut through the would-be heat. It was a perfect day to finally leave your marble prison. Not without protests from your parents, though.

“Are you absolutely sure that this is necessary? I mean, how else will we know that the princess is safe if she is so far away?” Your father nervously blurted, his eyes shifting from Ghost to you to the car in an anxious cycle.

Your mother wasn’t too happy either, though for different reasons that almost had Ghost snap. “How will we know that she is keeping up with her studies?!”

Before Ghost could combat their nerves, you huffed and faced your parents for the first time in your life. This new courage was found in knowing that there was really nothing your parents could do to stop this from happening. “Mother, father, I will be perfectly safe. I will continue to study as usual. However, this will also be a great chance for me to learn what the world is really like outside of the palace. We won’t do anything unsafe, so please, just let me learn what I need to learn.”

For a moment, there was pure silence between everyone. No one was expecting you to stand up for yourself, even if it was about time that you did. Then, your father places his hands on your shoulders, his gaze softening. “Y/n, when did you become such a wonderful young woman? It was only yesterday that I was holding you in my arms for the first time.”

Your eyes widened for a second, not expecting your father to become so affectionate all of a sudden. He was certainly more affectionate than your mother, though, you couldn’t remember the last time your father told you that he loved you. You blinked back tears he pulled you in for a sweet hug as if you were leaving forever.

As Ghost watched, he felt his anger begin to melt. As much as he hated the decisions your parents made regarding your life, at least he knew that it came from a place of love. At least for the case of your father. Your mother, on the other hand, still had a sour look on her face. Thankfully, she kept her mouth shut in a tight line.

“Lieutenant, keep my daughter safe.” The king ordered to which Ghost gave a firm nod to. He would rather lose his life than have you in danger again.

After you pulled away and said your final goodbyes, you got into the armored car. Ghost got into the driver’s seat and started it up, eager to help you see the world outside of the palace walls. As you looked out the window, seeing your parents get smaller and smaller with the distance, you felt a surge of excitement run through you.

Ghost noticed how your demeanor changed. Now without the pressures of royal conformity, you were free to be yourself. More courageous. It seemed like you had some bark and bite in you as well after all. He wanted to know you even more. “You wanna choose the music for the ride?”

You perked up at his offer, eagerly nodding your head as he handed you his phone that was already connected to the car’s bluetooth system. After perusing some options, you settled on a playlist that surprised Ghost. Even under the mask, you could tell that he was questioning your choice. “I want to hear all kinds of music. I want to hear every single song that was banned for me.”

He gave a chuckle for the first time that you’ve been together. The sound had your heart skip a beat. You didn’t even know that he was capable of laughing with how serious he looked all the time. “Very well. I’ll make sure you get your chance to experience anything you want that you normally wouldn’t.”

You bit your lip, trying to contain the utter joy you felt, completely forgetting that your life was in danger just for the moment.

It was a long drive to the safehouse in the deep countryside. Your eyes were trained on the views through the window like it was television. You never knew how pretty your country looked. The architecture was classic with plenty of brick buildings and natural curvatures. There were plenty of sidewalks to cater to pedestrian travel rather than cars. Ivy vines with flowers crawled on the side of buildings, the natural beauty of nature colliding with man-made structures.

There were plenty of open-air markets as well. Produce stands, custom art pieces, coffee trucks. Everything was conveniently available, no matter if you were heading home from work or just taking a stroll. As you passed a farmer’s market, you noticed how busy it seemed with families. Kids running around, parents picking out ingredients, business owners offering samples to treat the good children.

Ghost noticed how you looked out the window, longing to join the streets to really experience what life was like. He debated if it would be safe to allow a little time for you to explore. He wasn’t keen on the idea of so many people around you. However, if he stuck close to you, then it should be fine, right? Besides, how could he deny the pretty little look you gave as you yearned for a little adventure.

Before you knew it, Ghost found somewhere to park and got out of the car. Then, he opened your door and held his hand out for you to take. “Just for a little while, okay? Stick close to me.”

The smile you gave was so big and bright that it almost hurt your cheeks. You couldn’t help it, though. Ghost was granting you one of your biggest wishes. You took his hand and stepped out of the car, taking in the sounds of the city. People conversing, bike bells ringing, dogs barking. It was unlike anything you have ever heard.

Obeying his orders, you did stick close to Ghost, your arm naturally looping around his without much thought. This was the usual hold for an escort that you have performed many times. It was a natural instinct as Ghost led the way to the farmer’s market. That wasn’t to say that you didn’t notice how strong his muscles felt underneath his shirt. You definitely felt how hard your heart pounded as he held you just as securely to his side.

When he paused to swap out his balaclava for the skeleton face mask that he wore at the party, you nearly tripped over yourself. In the natural light of the sun, his blonde hair seemed brighter like sunshine itself. His eyes seemed more open as well. Warmer. You blushed and stared down at the sidewalk for a moment, trying to catch your breath that he ended up stealing from you.

“Everything alright? Having second thoughts?” He wondered, compassion present in his voice as you all of a sudden seemed shy.

With a shake of your head and a smile, you reassured him. “I’m fine. Just eager is all.”

With that, he led you into the market that was flooding with people. Ghost kept a careful eye out on everyone that passed by. His arm also tightened just a little more firmly to ensure that you didn’t get separated from him. As you walked, your eyes scanned over all of the products up for sale. Baked goods, ripe fruit, crocheted clothes, beautiful art. Before you knew it, you were dragging Ghost from stall to stall to ensure that you could see everything that the market had to offer.

Ghost found it amusing. He noticed the way your eyes lit up when you tasted a free sample of fresh cheese or juicy apple slices. He noticed the way the corners of your mouth lifted into a grin as you admired the craftsmanship of art. He also noticed when your eyes lingered on a particular homemade hair claw clip that was decorated with pearls, thin gold chains, and delicate flowers.

“You want it.” He pointed out as more of a statement rather than a question. Your cheeks flushed pink, feeling a little embarrassed by your obvious infatuation. The truth was that most of your clothes and jewelry were chosen for you. You were allowed to mix-and-match with what you were given, but you have never really chosen out anything yourself.

“I’m just impressed with the details. It is quite a beautiful hair clip.” You danced around the topic, wanting to seem more humble. However, Ghost didn’t really buy it. With a swift motion, he fished out his wallet from his pocket and took out some bills.

Your mouth opened in shock. “Lieutenant, you don’t have to-”

“It’s fine. Consider it a souvenir for your first real outing.” Ghost dismissed you with ease, handing over the money to the seller. He picked up the hair clip and handed it to you to try on, happy to indulge in your wants.

For a moment, you separated your arm from Ghost to put your hair up, loose tendrils naturally falling to frame your face. You let them be as the rest of your hair was fashioned up with the clip. The seller handed you a small mirror to see your reflection. You almost cried when you saw yourself. You never imagined that your bodyguard would buy you such a wonderful gift. “Thank you, Lieutenant Ghost.”

Ghost found his heart skipping a beat as he took in your new appearance. The clip matched your princess personality perfectly. The delicate chains that dangled down pearl and flower beads guided his eyes to the smooth nape of your neck.

The thought that he wanted to kiss that nape crossed his mind.

Clearing his throat, he took your arm again. “It suits you. Wouldn’t look better on anybody else.”

It was hard not to fall even deeper for him when he complimented you like that. Your heart pounded as you walked beside him again, your steps feeling lighter than air. Nothing else at the market caught your eye as his compliment kept echoing in your head, turning your feelings into goo.

As the market neared closing time, the amount of people began to dwindle down. Ghost felt his shoulders fall, feeling more at ease with less people around. Circling back around, he led you back to the produce stalls, wondering what ingredients he should pick up for the safehouse.

The safehouse would be stocked with food, but not with a lot of fresh ingredients. He wanted to continue making this a good day for you with a homemade dinner rather than whatever TV dinners were waiting in the freezer. He wasn’t a chef by any means, having spent most of his life eating MREs and military canteen food. At the very least, he could make you something simple yet good.

Remembering the cheese you seemed to enjoy as a sample and how it was tomato season, Ghost picked out all the necessary ingredients to make homemade tomato soup and grilled cheeses for tonight. You watched him curiously as he picked everything out before something in the distance caught your attention.

“What kind of bread do you like?” He asked you, holding two different loaves of bread in his hands while he considered the options. When he looked to you for an answer though, he could tell that your gaze was trained far into the distance. He turned to look around, trying to find what you were staring at.

In the distance was a person with a dark hoodie and a bandana covering their face. Bright paint brought color to their sleeves and jeans. The figure was walking away, but it was obvious what they were just up to with what was close to him.

“Shit.” Ghost cursed as he pulled out his phone with Captain Price on speed dial.

The other line was picked up quickly. “Lieutenant?”

“Tagger going east on Clover Street. Black hoodie, blue jeans, red bandana, covered in paint.” He informed, his voice low as he kept an eye on the distant figure. He observed how they walked down the street, waiting for them to change directions if they were planning on it.

“Getting a hold of local cameras now. You’re with the princess?” Captain Price inquired, his hands moving fast to find this figure through the city cameras. Finally, he found the person that Ghost described.

“Affirmative.”

“Sending Gaz to pursue. I recommend that you two get to the safehouse pronto. I didn’t think they would be out in broad daylight.” Price advised, already contacting Gaz to give him his new assignment. Once Gaz accepted the orders, the captain hung up. Ghost knew that his captain needed to focus on this immediately, so he wasn’t offended by the sudden hang-up.

He bought the groceries, now in a bit more of a rush. Securing your arm around his once more, he began to lead you back to the car. “Let’s go, Princess. It’s not safe here anymore.”

Your face fell as the day seemed to be ruined by another case of danger. However, there was something that was bothering you. You noticed the paint on the person’s clothes and a strike of color against one of the brick walls he was near. Curiosity was getting the better of you.

“Wait!” You paused, your stance suddenly strong and pulling back from Ghost.

His bold brows rose as you defied him for the first time. Surely you had a good reason to. “What is it? Something wrong?”

You all of a sudden grew a little shy as his intense eyes bored into you, waiting for your explanation. Despite how bashful you grew, you persisted. “I want to see the graffiti they were making. Can we? Please?

“Oh, Princess, it wasn’t a piece of art they were making.” Ghost said knowingly, flashes of the pictures he’d seen crossing his mind. Tags of revolution. War.

“I still want to see. Please, Lieutenant?” You pleaded, trying to follow your instincts as closely as you could.

With the way you looked at him, it was hard to say no. He wasn’t sure if you knew that there were tags around the whole city calling for your head. Probably not since your parents didn’t tell you the truth about your life being in serious danger. But. . . he supposed that you deserved to see them just this one time. This was your country after all. “As long as we’re quick. You have to stay close to me too. Got it?”

You eagerly nodded and latched onto his arm, letting him swiftly guide you to the spots of paint on brick in the distance. As you got closer, you could make out specific shapes and color switches. Getting even closer proved Ghost wrong.

This was art.

You stared in awe at the giant mural before you. A crow with a golden crown in its ebony beak. Feathers wrapped in fire and barbed wire. The crow was about to drop the crown into a pit of hell below it, filled with skulls, demons, hellfire, and sharp blades. Ghost was surprised as well. The pictures he saw depicted small tags here and there of the crows. Here, this was a full blown work of art.

Your free hand drifted up to touch the now colorful bricks. The paint was still a little tacky, but nothing that would stain you. As you looked up, drinking in every detail, Ghost watched you. He was nervous about what you were going to say.

What you did say startled him. “Crows are a symbol of transformations, prophecies, and death.”

“Your mother said the opposite, save for death.”

“For her, death is an inescapable darkness. Evil. In reality, crows can bring fortune during bad times. Death is good fortune since it is a new beginning. This message isn’t a threat. It’s hope.” You concluded, tracing the swooping beak with your fingers. The shadows and highlights made the crow look almost three-dimensional.

Ghost wasn’t sure how to respond. He normally had an answer for any situation, yet what you said stumped him. How could he respond to something so poetically profound?

You did give him something new to look into though. He would find the time to talk to his team about it later. For now, he had to finally take you to the safe house. “Come on, we gotta get moving.”

The drive through the countryside was long and soothing. Ghost took control of the music once you began to doze off. Something light at a low volume was played so you could continue sleeping peacefully. You had a long day out. You probably burned a lot more energy than what you were used to as well.

Once the car hit the dirt road, you stirred awake. The stars were beginning to come out, having driven for hours. You were surrounded by endless fields of local wildflowers with only the occasional tree. While you did love the looks of the city, there was something to love about the countryside too. The land that felt infinite made you feel like you could do anything. You were eager to see what the land looked like during a beautiful sunrise.

Soon, the car pulled up at a rustic cottage with a large shed beside it. Ghost stepped out of the car for a second to open it up, turning it into a garage that would just barely fit the vehicle. Once the car was parked, you were led into the house.

A thin layer of dust hung in the air along with the fresh scent of nearby wildflowers. The cottage contained the essentials as far as you could tell. A living room, a kitchen, two bathrooms, and two bedrooms. Generically decorated, yet cozy compared to the sterile fanciness of the palace.

Ghost brought the luggage in, setting yours in the bedroom of your choosing. He gave you some time to unpack and settle in while he got started on dinner.

As you placed some of your clothes in one of the empty dressers, the fact that you would be living with your bodyguard for who knew how long began to hit you. Your heart picked up speed along with your breath. Not that you expected anything to happen or develop between the two of you, a part of you still had a sense of hope that your relationship would grow stronger at the very least.

Before heading back out towards the kitchen, you caught your reflection in a bedroom mirror. The hair clip was still fastened to your hair, giving you butterflies. It was still hard to believe that he had bought you a gift so easily like it costed him nothing. You could’ve sworn that he seemed a little stunned when it was in your hair too. In a good way.

Ghost was a gentleman. He was just being kind. He wouldn’t do anything that could be considered unprofessional or unfriendly.

Bodyguard protecting a princess. That’s all your relationship will ever be. Right?

Tag List: @angel-anna @ghostlythots @maiyatheprettiestprincess @cum-tea-and-towels @littleghostbride @meowzerzstuff @izziyuwh @literaturewh0r3things @bi-witch-bxtch @victoriareadsbooks

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deerspherestudios · 5 months

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📖FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS📖

Regarding asks, I typically avoid:

stacked questions (asks that have more than one question, so honestly, sending them one by one is better than writing a bunch in one go)

hyperspecific scenarios (while I enjoy answering these, some can get incredibly specific to the point where it doesn't even feel fun anymore)

questions that have already been answered (obviously)

To manage the blog, I usually queue up asks instead of posting them instantly, so it might take several weeks for me to respond. Please be patient! And while I appreciate the time and thought taken to writing me a message and the growing interest in the game, understand I'm still one person and will sometimes leave a message unanswered. Thank you. ❤️

Below is a compilation of questions I get a lot, so if you have a question feel free to check if it's already been answered! The list will update as needed:

🎮 F.A.Q ABOUT THE GAME 🎮

1. What is Mushroom Oasis❔ What is the rating❔

Mushroom Oasis is a visual novel made in Ren'Py that was initially released for the 2023 Yandere Game Jam. It's currently still in development as a solo project. I post updates almost exclusively on this tumblr so if you're interested in the game, you're in the right place. The rating is 16+. How did I come up with the concept?

2. How many days will the game have❔ When will it release❔

I initially planned it to have 4-5 days! But with some new ideas and routes I'm considering, it might extend to 5+ days. As for a release date, it's done when it's done. So please allow me the time to develop it at my pace <3

3. Will the game be translated to other languages❔

I'll be honest, I had no plans to. However, a few people have reached out volunteering to. I'll say for now I'm open to the idea, but I prefer people asking permission first. First and foremost, ask first.

4. Will the game be available for mobile❔

For now, a hard no. I have zero clue how to make it available for mobile. Maybe I'll consider it once the game is fully released, but it's only for PC and Mac for now, as those are the default builds in Ren'Py.

5. Is NSFW content allowed❔

Considering the main love interest is an adult, that's fine. However I'd appreciate proper filtering of NSFW content considering the game's age rating means there's more than a few minors in the fandom. NSFW questions aren't allowed on the blog.

Keep it where it's meant to be with proper tagging separate from the '#mushroom oasis vn' tag. Using '#mushroom oasis nsfw' should be enough? I hope.

NOTE: Now, I understand some people are really passionate about Mychael being asexual, but I can't bring myself to police people for mischaracterizing his asexuality, nor would I want to gatekeep him either.

He's a fictional character first and foremost, and while representation is important!!!/gen /srs I don't want to bring attention to any such content in case it brings unwanted harrassment on that creator for posting such content.

Please don't do that. Let people make what they wanna make. It's unfortunate, but fandom will be fandom.

6. Will there be other love interests? Will it have multiple endings❔

Due to project scope, the only romance-able character for MO is Mychael himself. The game will have multiple endings however, ranging from romantic ending, platonic ending to creepy/bad endings (because, y'know, yandere).

7. Will there be official merch?

As a college student and soon-to-be fresh graduate, the income would be nice haha. As I keep working on the game (and once I'm done with college in March) I'll definitely look into making them someday!

🍄 F.A.Q ABOUT MYCHAEL🍄

1. What are his pronouns and sexuality and age❔

He identifies as male, uses he/him pronouns and is a panromantic asexual. He's older than you think. ::-)

2. What is his height❔

He's 6'2. He used to be 5'8.

3. When is his birthday❔

Initially it was 15th February! Simply because I happened to start designing him that day, hence his 'creation'.

I might pick another date though; for now, his birthday is undecided.

4. Favorite food and drink❔

He loves fried mushrooms and tomato juice! He hates spicy food though, as the smell and taste makes him physically ill.

5. Do you have a voice claim for him❔

Initially it was Jonathan Groff, specifically his role as Kristoff in Frozen. But nowadays I'm not sure. Feel free to give suggestions! Do note I imagine him sounding as an older male in his late 20s.

6. What is Mychael's love language❔

I explain it in-depth here!

TL;DR: He likes giving gifts, and likes receiving words of affirmation.

7. How is Mychael's affection towards MC (blog-centric only)❔

So for context, as I manage the blog sometimes Mychael makes an appearance in answered asks. His answers can change depending on when you ask at the current state of the demo:

Day 1:

Day 2:

It's just something for fun as I manage the blog when answering asks. (Though don't expect a solid implementation of this anytime soon, as I'm busy with college until March 2024. Until then!)

EXTRAS:

Mychael's Character Ref

Firefly (MC)'s Character Ref

Mychael's Playlist

Mushroom Oasis' Playlist

Bad Ending 1 Explained

#mushroom oasis vn

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tadpoles-and-daydreams · 12 days

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A ramble on imposter syndrome and the accessibility of witchcraft

So, I’ve been thinking. I think a lot in case you haven’t noticed. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the major imposter syndrome I’ve been feeling lately in regards to this blog. TL;DR is at the bottom of this post.

People have been, occasionally, sending me asks requesting my opinion on things/how I do things/what I know about XYZ topic. If you are one of these people, I promise I’m not vagueposting about you in particular- in fact, I love these questions! They’re so fun to get and they actually make me sit and think sometimes, or even encourage me to write out something that I’ve been meaning to for my book of shadows. Genuinely, they're wonderful asks to receive. These questions have made me confront something, however; my blog is still small, but some people actually like what I write and value my opinion even if just a little.

I feel like a mimic hiding in the witchcraft community. I feel like, were people to truly understand my experiences, they would want to “expose” me for knowing so little.

So I sat down with those feelings and turned it over in my head and I’ve come to a conclusion. The fact is, I don’t do research. At least- not what I think of when people talk about research. My "research" consists of the occasional rabbit hole I go down, one and two halves of different books I never finished under my belt, what I see scrolling through various social medias, and conversations I've had with other witches. I check to make sure I'm not stepping on the toes of any closed practices- in fact, that's what most of my energy goes to when it comes to research. This isn't a complaint; I'd much rather know that my craft isn't appropriative.

But I don’t know much about mythology, even that of the deities I work with. I don't even remember the holidays and what they're for. I thought Nyx was an Egyptian deity until like four months ago because I'd just heard her name in passing as a child and had never looked into the mythology... Even though I mainly work with the pantheon she belongs to. Y’all, I’ve done like three spells that I remember. My book of shadows is a messy disaster and I love it but it's got so little information in it, because I rarely write things down. Most resources (especially mythology resources) are academically worded or difficult to read for me personally, and all of these things feel like secrets I have to guard with my life because if I were to ever say them aloud, people would know I'm a fraud.

Today I've come to the conclusion that that is, in fact, absolute bullshit.

Maybe it's not, maybe this post will make some people really upset, but in my practice it's bullshit. All of the above is a result of my ADHD and the fact that I am nothing if not a hands-on learner. My craft is mostly my own experiences because that's how my whole life is; I learn by doing. My ideal learning style is sitting with another autistic person whose special interest is whatever I'm learning about and just talking for five hours, but if that's not something I can do, puzzling it out myself is the next best thing. That's what I've been doing ever since I felt had a basic foundation for my craft. Hell, even before I had a foundation I was putting my own experiences into my craft because "Well that rule just doesn't fucking vibe with me."

This post is mostly for me, but partially for anyone who feels similar. We are not broken or doing witchcraft/paganism wrong. We are simply what happens when the kid who could never do homework ends up practicing the "religion/spirituality that comes with homework." Witchcraft and paganism, in my experience, is far from accessible when it comes to the typical image of it. UPG is what makes it accessible. So yes, my practice is heavily UPG, and I don't do as much research as I think people have assumed. But I'm going to let go of the idea that I'm a fraud, because frankly I know enough about witchcraft to have supported my practice this whole time and my deities haven't smited me yet so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

TL:DR:

Fuck the rules, I don't do much research. I've researched the "basics" and what I need to so I'm not stepping on any toes of closed practices, but people seem to think I know way more than I actually do. I've felt like I was lying this whole time but frankly witchcraft just isn't accessible to someone with my flavor of auDHD, so my craft relies heavily on UPG and I've decided that I'm not broken or wrong for that and neither is anyone else. I'm tired of seeing myself as an imposter just because I make my practice doable for me.

#I feel weird about posting this but Loki seems thrilled #of course he is though #“fuck the rules” energy is their whole deal #Frog's writing #shit did I use caps in my previous posts?#Frog's Writing #frog's writing #there we go now it doesn't matter lol #witchcraft #witchblr #pagan witch #pagan #witch community #paganism #deity work #eclectic pagan #paganblr #witch blog

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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WIBTA for asking my SO to do something that they have trauma around?

I don't know when this will be posted but as of writing we are about 2 weeks post valentines day. Ages and genders irrelevant, we're in our 20s and queer.

So I have not been with Jordan long, but we knew each out for a few months as friends before we got together, and have been close pretty much all of the time we've known each other. This is to say, I know them pretty well despite us not actually having been dating that long.

Because we were already friends I knew going into the relationship, without Jordan specifically saying anything, that they had plans on Valentines day. They got tickets to a concert I wasn't interested in a decent amount of time before we got together.

Obviously, not an issue in the slightest, and neither of us brought up anything regarding Valentines day. It was a week day, so I was working all day, and then the time of the concert meant there was no possibility of meeting up after, just not meant to be this year. I thought we were in the same boat just silently agreeing that the timing wasn't right but that it wasn't a big enough deal to even be worth bringing up, especially in such a new relationship.

Some backstory on me: I'm a hopeless romantic and have a kind of cute aesthetic? I like dressing in bright colours, and some of my favourite outfits have prints of hearts, flowers, and cherries. Needless to say I really enjoy the aesthetic of Valentines day, and I've always kind of fantasised about being able to spend it with someone I have romantic feelings for. I've only had two romantic relationships before this and the first one only lasted 6 months and didn't make it to Valentines day, and in the second we both contracted the same bug and were horribly sick throughout February.

Obviously I don't think you should only do things for your SO on Valentines day, but I think it would be fun to have the chance to really get into it! In the past I've organised Valentines day events with my other single friends where we dress in pink and have heart shaped foods etc and those have been great, but haven't quite satisfied my desire to have a Romantic Valentines.

So, despite the fact that my SO was busy, I wanted to do a little something. I do digital art, so when I got home from work I drew a pun Valentines card featuring Jordan's favourite character. It took a few hours and I was pretty proud of how it came out. I knew they were at the concert still, but I texted it to them, so they could see it after.

They responded that night and their first message was just "oh." I've known Jordan long enough that i read the tone to be "oh, now I to have a conversation I didn't want to have." They went on to explain that they associate Valentines day with some past trauma. I won't give any details here, but the tone of the conversation was that they don't celebrate Valentines day because of their trauma, and this seemed like a very final stance.

Now. I don't think I'm TA for drawing the art and sending it, this had never been brought up before, so I didn't know I was crossing a boundary.

I do think Jordan is slightly TA for not saying anything about my art that I worked hard on, but only slightly bc I assume the trauma response just kind of took over.

But my question is, WIBTA if I asked my SO to celebrate Valentines day with me in future even though it's something they have trauma around?

I'm not planning to force them or anything and it doesn't even have to be in the next few years, but thinking long term it feels really gloomy to me to have to miss out on Valentines forever when my SO could be making new memories with me so that mentions of the holiday are less painful.

I don't expect them to just "get over" it magically or anything but I want to ask if it's something they'd possibly want to work up to? I swear I'm not trying to be dismissive their response is fully valid and I don't want to imply my silly fantasies are more important than their traumatic reality I just want to know if this would be an asshole move or not.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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is-the-post-reliable · 7 months

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Hello! I recently discovered your blog, and I love to see you fact checking claims in posts.

I have a question, if it’s not too much to ask: How do you know that a source is reliable? Especially when it comes to particularly contentious subjects where everyone will accuse each other of believing propaganda and spreading misinformation. I’ve seen internet arguments where someone will cite a source and the other person discredits it one way or another. It sometimes feels like a back and forth between people debunking each others’ claims. I’m just lost on how to know you’re getting good information when trying to stay informed.

Have a good day! Thank you for taking the time to run this blog,

hi! thanks for sending this in

So I don't think there's a universal answer to your question, and truthfully I'm not sure we can ever know for certain that any information is 100% reliable. Even the most prestigious sources can release misinformation -for example, The Lancet, possibly the most important academic journal, published the fraudulent article by Andrew Wakefield that led to people believing that vaccines cause autism.

No source is always reliable, but we can try to find the source most likely to be reliable!

In regard to news sources, tools like MBFC can help you get a general understanding of the political leaning and credibility. However, even highly rates sources can be biased, so it's good to consider what relationship the source might have to your research topic. For example, the BBC has generally high credibility, but is often accused of bias on specific topics, such as trans issues.

Also, make sure to take note on whether the article is an opinion article - these are more often biased.

When it comes to academic journals, the type of study you're looking at is important - for example, a meta analysis, which reviews many different studies on one topic, is generally more reliable than a randomised control study, which is generally more reliable than a case study. See the evidence pyramid below:

I would always recommend reading multiple sources, rather than relying on just one.

If someone disputes a source, it's a good idea to listen and think critically about what they're saying and whether you think it's a valid criticism. Are they citing a source? Are they using facts or opinions? Is their source reliable?

Uh I can't think of anything else, but if you're ever unsure about a source or want to talk about anything in more detail, feel free to message me about it!

#ask #Anonymous #not a fact check #how to #about

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sexydreamgirl · 2 years

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I need to say something to you all that may come harshly, but I say it out of love.

A lot of you would be living your dream lives already or have even succeeded at the I AM state months ago if you had just logged off of Tumblr and abandoned all other loa resources.

I really really hate, loathe and despise the obsession with “the void”. Nobody hates it more than me. I’m its number one hater.

You guys have over complicated something that wasn’t complicated in the first place.

These are Neville's instructions about how to do it:

You say silently but feelingly, "I AM." Do not condition this awareness but continue declaring quietly, "I AM — I AM." Simply feel that you are faceless and formless and continue doing so until you feel yourself floating.

Mind you, people haven’t even experienced the floating feeling or any other symptoms and still succeeded. You guys take mental note of what worked for another anon and hope that this will finally be it and that’s the problem You read success story after success story and send follow up questions about how long it took them to “get in”, which affirmations they used, what position they laid in, which exact meditation they listened to, what the temperature of the room was and whatever other irrelevant matters. You go from blog to blog in search of validation, wondering if you did it right by laying facedown rather than in a starfish position, if the affirmation you used is okay and if swallowing was the reason why you failed. That’s why you’ve continued to struggle, you keep entertaining the idea that you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it exactly like someone else and that has been the downfall for a lot of you. What should have been the takeaway? Different things work for different people, but what if I reminded told you that you are… God? As in, THE GOD, who gets to decide (assume) and so shall be? The God who can assume that snapping their fingers will instantly turn them into pure consciousness. Yet here you all are, folding like H&M sweaters accepting this (“failure”) to be your state of consciousness and hoping that this new exact procedure will finally help you succeed when all it has ever taken was to… assume otherwise.

The reason you’ve failed is because you’re conscious of that. How many times should I remind you all that consciousness is the only reality? That all it takes to finally see and experience the change is for you to shift your state of consciousness?

In order to rise to the level that you are not now expressing, you must completely drop the consciousness with which you are now identified. Until your present consciousness is dropped you will not be able to rise to another level.

Here is a list of all of the new additions that have been introduced/overcomplicated it:

Having to relax

Clearing your mind

Laying down

Staying still

Not swallowing (...?!?!)

Doing it before going to bed/at night

Using any kinds of waves (alpha/epsilon/theta)/subliminals

Affirming anything aside from I AM [I am pure consciousness/faceless and formless/the void/nothing]

Doing 3 day-3 week challenges……

inducing sleep paralysis

void concept………………

Affirm mindlessly throughout the day that it’s easy to do

I know people who’ve succeeded despite moving, while in class, while standing up in the shower yet day in and day out I continue to see people beg for the specifics. If any of these procedures worked for you and you manifested your dream life, congratulations! but none of these deviations are necessary. All they do is cultivate new assumptions within you guys that in order to become pure consciousness you need to clear your mind, stay completely still, take deep breaths, lay in x position, count to x, affirm «…» countlessly, etc.

I would also like to add, there is no need for void oriented blogs or extensive informational posts regarding this subject. You guys are only making it worse on yourselves. Blogs that are committed to answer void questions and reblog void success stories do more harm than good because they further condone the fascination with it and harvest more assumptions about how to do it.

Not only that, you guys obsess over methods and challenges wayyyyyyyy too much and your attention is specifically consumed by them when your focus should be targeted towards having it in the 4D. When you are fixated by the need for it to be present in the 3D as soon as possible, you are missing the point of the law of assumption.

It is not about wanting nor getting, it is about embodying and accepting that it is already yours now. Claim it in imagination and it’ll inevitably crystallize within your tangible reality. As within, so without.

There is no shame in wanting to try it out, there is shame in the pedestalization of it. The I AM state is not the answer to all of your problems. I understand the need for instant results, I know people who were dealing with difficult circumstances and wanted an immediate remedy so the I AM state became the goal when it shouldn’t be the goal, it’s only the means to get you to the goal, but obsessing over whether you’re doing it correctly isn’t going to help you, it’ll only impose stress and frustration upon you and will further push you in a hole of desperation and the cycle will perpetuate.

It only worsens when people literally put their lives on hold. You could have manifested your dream life within a week by entertaining a completely new state of consciousness (though gentle reminder that time shouldn’t be a point of focus in general either but I digress), but your attention is entirely consumed by the I AM state and you’re participating in three day challenges “waiting” until your mind is completely marinated in affirmations about how quick and easy it is… why? Stop waiting for your desires, they are yours NOW.

The reason why methods and challenges work in the first place is because you have given them permission to be the conditions that will be required in order to bring your desire in the 3D. If you assumed clapping three times would add $500,000 to your bank account that’s precisely what would happen and all that is asked of you is to shift your state of consciousness. Methods and challenges do not grant your desires, they are only training wheels that’ll aid you to live in the end and feel the wish fulfilled, which is meant to be the goal.

To see that you guys go to me and other blogs BEGGING us to manifest that you wake up in the void tells me that you guys truly don’t see yourselves as the architects of your reality.

Please adjust your self concept and stop surrendering to other people, it’s absolutely shameful. You are GOD, please start acting (and thinking) as such. Stop seeing yourself as a failure and start seeing yourself as the person who’s in control of every facet of their reality. because you are. The 3D is malleable at your command. That is what the law states. Please STAND UP.

You want to succeed at the I AM state? Okay, apply the basis of the law. How would you feel if you knew that becoming pure consciousness was as easy as breathing? That all it took was for you to relax and dwell on I AM? How easy it is for you to do whenever you feel like it? Sustain that state and you will not fail.

I genuinely pity and condemn the damage the fixation on the I AM state has caused in the community as a whole as well as on you guys individually. This is helping no one and I am tired of seeing the chokehold it has put a lot of you in. if you feel called out by this post then I strongly encourage you to reconsider what you plan to do from this point on. Leave « the void » alone, learn about the law and apply. Please, please, please give « the void » a rest. Not for my sake, but for yours. The pen (your imagination) is always in your hand and it's simply waiting to be used. You are all infinitely greater than you think you are. Stop putting your lives on hold and neglecting the inalienable power within you over the I AM state.

You have my love and you have my support. I wish each and every one of you nothing less than all of your desires materialized. I am here for you to help you however I can when it comes to clarification regarding the law of assumption, but I'm never going to partake in this fascination with the I AM state and further exacerbate it.

That is all.

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nanaslutt · 1 month

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hi nana!! i want to say that i am somewhat new here and that you're my favorite author!! i really like how you write toji specifically, it feels very unique compared to how most people write him and makes me love toji even more! maybe it comes down to a preference, because i am very picky about how people write some chatacters. i am also very happy you're one of the few people who write for shiu and uraume!! i love these two to death, as well as even the slightest the toji&shiu and sukuna&uraume interactions/mentions :D

but but but! i wanted to say that i really admire and look up to your writing, your posts make me inspired everytime and overall you're a very fun person! i hope you never stop writing, you're very good at it >o<

im very sorry this message is getting too long, but i had a few questions.

1. who is the hardest to write for?

2. what character you will (probably) never write for?

3. are there any writing tips you can share? perhaps it's some tips you've got from someone? or maybe tips you figured out yourself?

i'm sending you my best regards :))

thank you so much :( i’m like you and tend to be really picky about how characters are written so i’m very glad i write toji in a way you like <3 AND YESSS uraume is the loml and shiu is a cutiepie so i have to include them in my stuff ^.^

i find myself being rly into unpopular characters and unpopular ships or pairings which i why u see those kinds of characters for me :3

1. believe it or not, geto. i try to make his personality a mix of his student personality and his cannon adult one, but sometimes ill try to imagine what his personality would be like if he didn’t become a curse user so it sometimes gets hard

2. mahito. i never wanna write for him ever, i despise him and rewatching jjk now im realizing i don’t even think he’s attractive at all

3. hmm the only thing i can suggest is to try and drag out intimate scenes and be descriptive in what the characters are doing (overall) so ur readers are never confused on what their position is or where their hands are lol

#TY FOR THE SUPPORT MUAH

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throneofsapphics · 9 months

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PLEASE DO A PART 3 FOR SOME QUESTIONS ARE BETTER LEFT AVOIDED 😭 my heart can't take the angst 😂

some questions are better left alone, part 3

Rowaelin x f!Reader

(part one) (part two)

Summary: “I was going to ask ‘is it really my home.’” The words felt like poison on my tongue.

The silence was audible

Word Count: ~4k

Warnings: dark/manipulative aelin & rowan, angst, sort of toxic relationships

A/N: this one took a dark turn. I’m sorry this took so long! It’s been sitting in my drafts for ages because I’m not sure how I feel about it! but I've kinda started a part four

“You need to explain.” Her cousin frowned. She’s the only one I trusted to send the summons. So, I told her about the conversation with Aelin.

“Gods, you’re so dense sometimes.” She cursed.

“Excuse me?” My voice grew shrill.

“Did you bother asking her what she meant by it?”

I frowned. I hadn’t, I knew exactly what that meant. She made it obvious. Aelin and Rowan were having doubts. This was the easiest way to remove myself from the situation, if a bit sneaky. But, my cousin didn’t put anything specific in the summons, only that she needed me there - urgently, as soon as possible. She’s sent letters before, but never anything like this. The rest of my family thinks it’s a surprise visit and that my cousin didn’t deign to inform them she needed me here. At least my story would hold, if Rowan and Aelin asked a few extra questions.

“She answered too quickly.”

“What if she meant something else?” She snapped at me.

“What the hell else could it mean? ‘Are you having doubts.’ ‘No.’ It’s clear enough to me,” I hissed at her.

She stood with narrowed eyes, arms crossing her chest, and her ‘no-bullshit’ look on her face. “I think you’re a coward.” She tilted her head. My jaw dropped. “In the gentlest way possible.” She frowned at the hurt look on my face. “Maybe some extended time at home would be good for you.”

Silver started to line my eyes, and I urged the tears not to spill. Not now, not when I was trying to hold my ground. But, she crossed the room and tugged me into a hug, and the floodgates opened.

It had been a month. They received a few letters from y/n, all vague in nature. Of course, they understand why - it’s her cousin's business, not theirs. Still, it unnerved them. She’d never been gone this long before, and the summons was vague enough as is. They didn’t have any clue why she was gone, what was happening, and when she would return. Slowly, it was driving Aelin mad.

Then - Fenrys seemed to avoid any conversation regarding y/n. At first, she summed it up to him missing his friend, but as it continued over the weeks, something tingling inside her told her it was more. Aelin trusts her instincts, they’ve served her well in the past.

“What do you know about y/n, that you’re not telling us?” She got Rowan to ask the question - maybe she would’ve been a bit smoother with the delivery, but she didn’t want him to think she was using the blood oath.

“Are you asking about her drinking habits?” He drawled, leaning his chair back on two legs.

“About why she’s gone.” Rowan said through gritted teeth. The weeks had worn him down too.

“A summon from her cousin, wasn’t it?”

Rowan growled but Fenrys looked on with wary amusement.

“Is there a reason she would want to leave, for an extended period of time?” Aelin cut in. She was sick of it.

“I imagine a family emergency would do that.” He cocked his head, and said it with an edged chuckle. She could read him well, he was hiding something.

“Besides that.” She hissed.

Fenrys’s lips pressed in a tight line. “She was having doubts. At one point, after your conversation.”

“Anything else, did she say anything else?” Rowan cut in this time, his eyes gleaming.

“No, she wouldn’t tell me anything else.”

Because if it … if it could cause some sort of pain to her, he’d feel obligated to tell her. She exchanged a glance with Rowan, knowing he’d come to the same conclusion. Aelin changed the subject quickly, and Fenrys looked relieved.

With each passing day, I couldn’t decide if my instincts made me crazy, an idiot, or right. My cousin refused to comment any further, telling me it’s something I needed to figure out. I focused on spending time with my younger cousins, the family I rarely got to see. A part of me aches to go back, tugged at me to return to them, but another said to stay - to be with my family and court. I’d been there long enough that my mother started hinting at reinstating my position. A conversation I carefully deflected.

“Why haven’t you returned yet, you’ve never been separated from them this long?” Her father asked over dinner, taking a sip of his wine.

“Not that we don’t want you here, dear,” her mother interrupted, shooting him a nasty look, “but we heard it’s painful to be away from mates.” Her parents were deeply in love - not a mating bond, but it might as well have been.

I sagged in my chair, letting my fork drop onto the plate. My mother frowned at the noise, but didn’t lecture me on it.

“I’m … I needed some fresh air.” I tried to explain.

They each exchanged a look, and by the haze in their eyes I knew they were mind-speaking. It runs in the family.

Hello. I budged into both of them with a grin. My mother glared,

It’s rude to interrupt private conversations. I grinned at her, and pulled out.

“Are you in trouble?” I watched my fathers fist tighten around the steak knife, his knuckles whitening.

“No,” I shook my head. Not the sort they’re thinking of. The only real danger, at this point, seems to be coming from my own mind. My swirling thoughts, the overthinking, the unending cycle.

“Do you wish to move back?” My mothers voice was gentle, soft. A complete opposite to her normal curt tones and cold corrections.

“I don’t know.” I finally gave them an honest answer - one that held the most truth. I don’t know what to do, what I want, or where to be. I pinched the bridge of my nose, hoping to head off the upcoming headache.

“Considering the Queen and King of Terrasen have requested to visit, you have about one week to figure that out.” My eyes widened. There she was. I saw the wicked glint in her eyes. She’d known this whole time. “They didn’t tell you?”

“Gods-damned it.” I cursed, avoiding her question.

“Language,” my Father corrected half-heartedly, a pitying look in his eyes. They’d already granted the request, without telling me or asking for my input. Not even informing me they received one.

“Of course we’ll have some official meetings and negotiations to attend to.” My mother waved one hand, elegantly. “But it’ll be good for you to reunite with them, after all this time apart.”

I ranted to my cousin later. “I know she means well, but it still feels like a stab in the back.”

“Your mother has always been … tricky.” She said carefully, not wishing to speak ill of her.

“You mean a sneaky cold-hearted bitch.”

Her pause indicated her agreement. “Who means well,” she emphasized. She’s the one who heavily encouraged my acceptance of the bond in the first place.

“I know she does,” I sighed, flopping onto the couch, cradling my head between my hands. My mother always means well, and gave us the best childhood she could. Teaching us new things, taking us to see new places, and training us from the day we were strong enough to hold a blade.

Still, there was always a coldness to her - some kind of lingering pain or trauma. I asked her about it a few times, and the conversation was always shut down - abruptly, but elegantly.

“Why didn’t they tell you about it?” She sat down next to me, with a lot more poise.

“That’s the real mystery.”

The week went far too quickly, and the entire court was buzzing. Aelin and Rowan were living legends, even here people love to tell their stories. This entire court loves them, always so happy about the relations between them, and always willing to tell me just how grateful they are - like I have something to do with it. I do, in a way, but those relations existed before my relationship to them.

They threw up all of the fanfare, even for a short visit. Only three days. Everyone expected a charming public reunion. I could put on that show - part of me did tug towards them, and always will. Still, a sense of doom settled over me. They hadn’t written to tell me they were visiting, and it felt off.

Everything went well. I was excited to see them, my reaction genuine. I stayed out of the meetings - the official business going on. I couldn’t be an unbiased party, and in all honestly they bored me to tears. I was a bit disappointed Fenrys wasn’t there. His absence did feel … pointed.

That night, after dinner, the world crashed around me.

As soon as I showed them towards the suite set aside for them, Rowan locked the door behind him, leaning up against it. Danger, my mind seemed to sing to me. Danger, danger, danger.

“We know what you did.” Rowan’s voice was blunt, cold even.

“Excuse me?” I raised an eyebrow, forcing my heart rate to remain steady.

“You ran.” My eyes darted to Aelin. “And you’re coming back with us this time.”

My eyes widened, slightly in shock. I could tell she meant it. “And if I wished to stay longer?” I tilted my head, watching how Rowan’s eyes flashed with anger.

“It’s been long enough.” He grunted, dismissing it. “You need to come home.”

I opened my mouth, before shutting it. The words that almost came out of my mouth, Is it really my home? Those would … I don’t want to think of what they would do.

“Say it.” Aelin hissed, taking a step towards me. I held my ground. “Whatever you were about to say, spit it out.” Rowan took another step with her. I bit my bottom lip harshly, rolling it back and forth between my teeth. Flames danced at Aelin’s fingertips - angry flames. Not the soft, gentle ones I’m used to. I stumbled back, nearly tripping over the table. A small breeze of wind and they were extinguished. A threat.

“Go on.” Rowan warned. “Don’t make her say it twice.”

“I was going to ask ‘is it really my home.’” The words felt like poison on my tongue.

The silence was audible. “Yes,” Aelin said thickly. “It is.”

I felt her hurt - and Rowan’s resounding anger. Anger at me - for the hurt in Aelin’s voice, the hurt she’s feeling because of my words. Gods, what have I done?

“Tomorrow morning,” he growled, “you’ll tell your family you’re coming back with us.” His eyes narrowed, and you’ll give no indication anything is wrong.

I rolled my shoulders back, tilting my chin. “Who are you to give me orders?”

Aelin looked down at her nails, holding them in front of her. “Relations between Terrasen and your court are well now. Would you want to jeopardize that?” She purred. “The trading routes are essential, aren’t they Rowan?” She turned to him. He gave a curt nod, but his eyes never left me.

Holy Gods. She’s willing to strain relations to get me to go back. To stay. I let out a slow exhale. My court, that’s something I’ll never be willing to jeopardize or threaten, and she knows that. “Very well.” My throat bobbed with each word. I underestimated them. How far they’d go to keep me. My instincts weren’t wrong - the doom I felt, not this time. They know where my deepest loyalties lie, and they’re willing to use them against me.

“Is that all?” I said through gritted teeth.

Aelin held up a finger, “don’t mention a word to that cousin of yours, who summoned you. I heard you dispatched a letter to her a week before that arrived. Interesting timing.”

“Stranger things have happened,” I countered, not missing a beat or giving an inch. Aelin’s look told me she didn’t believe a word I’d insinuated, she stalked towards me instead. I forced myself to stay in place, not to run. A finger pressed under my chin.

“Pretty little liar.” She smirked.

The look of outrage on her face was satisfying, Aelin had to admit. Almost as satisfying as putting the pieces together - of the interesting timing she’d orchestrated. She’d bet gold on what was in the letter she posted.

“I’m not a liar.” She hissed back at her.

“Maybe not,” Rowan’s voice came from behind her, “but you like to hide things.”

She looked away, an admission of guilt if I’ve ever seen one. “If I were to hide things, have you considered why I might do that?”

She turned back, a coldness settled in those beautiful eyes. Something she’d never seen from her before. Her eyes paused on her first, then to Rowan, before she swept from the room - not giving them a chance to counter.

Aelin should be proud, she did get the last word in.

“I forgot you both have a flair for the dramatics.” Rowan huffed, before stalking towards the door. He did say he wouldn’t let her out of his sight. Likely, everyone would summon it up to their extended separation. Aelin knows better, he wants to keep an eye on her - they both do. He doesn’t trust her not to run. She doesn’t either.

They didn’t let me out of their sight as much as they could help it. They couldn’t follow me around while they were in official meetings, but found me as soon as they ended. The threat Aelin levied kept my mouth shut. I introduced them to my family - especially my small cousins who idolized them. The ones who always asked for stories about them. A smile crossed my face watching Aelin interact with them - how gentle she was.

I stared at Rowan, waiting to see if he would reach out or try to speak to me. What? He asked finally, to my mind, not bothering to sound pleasant.

Just a reminder of who you’re threatening. He stiffened, and I saw his fist clench together before loosening. I turned my attention back towards my cousins.

“I should’ve heeded your warning.” I told Fenrys, when we finally had a bit of time alone. Their majesties were otherwise occupied.

“Which one?” He threw a grape, catching it in his mouth. Show off.

“About asking certain questions.”

His look said, “I do give good advice from time to time. Even if it falls on empty ears.”

I snarled half-heartedly and debated telling him about the threat they’d given. But … I’d already stirred up enough and already was suffering the consequences. Maybe this was better left unsaid. “When’s your next night off?” I asked instead.

“About that.” Fenrys chuckled. “I’ve been informed I’m not allowed to take you out drinking.”

“Great.” I grumbled. Reaching for a grape.

“Until you, apparently, ‘earn those privileges.’”

My hand paused midair, my eyes snapped to his. “Excuse me?”

“Exactly what he said.” Aelin’s voice came from the doorway. I forget how easily they can sneak up on me. “We don’t trust you.”

Fenrys shot a pitying look at me, and made a swift exit. Smart, considering the argument brewing. Aelin strode to my side, budging me slightly to make room for her to sit next to me. I moved stiffly. “I took your warning to heart.” My voice came out quieter than I wished.

At least Fenrys saved her the trouble of bringing that up. She wrapped an arm around y/n’s waist, tugging her into her side. She could sense the battle between her mind and body - her mind wanting to pull away, but her body urging her to melt into her side. The body won.

“I won’t take any chances with you.”

“I didn’t realize this was a cage.”

Aelin flinched, her grip tightening. “It’s not.”

“Banning me from leaving. Sounds like a cage to me.”

“I don’t care what you think of it.” Aelin wished she didn’t mean the words, desperately wished she didn’t, but the primal Fae instinct in her, the one to keep her mate close - those overrode everything else.

As soon as she and Rowan realized how close they came to y/n slipping through their fingers, that urge set in. It’s something she couldn’t kick, couldn’t shove away.

“Who knew what asking the wrong questions could do.” Y/n muttered.

“You could’ve avoided all of this.” Aelin hedged. Possibly, but something told her it was inevitable - inevitable this would happen.

She pushed away from her, wiggling out of her grip, turning to look her in the eyes. A sadness was there, sadness and sorrow. “I never thought you’d stoop that low.”

Aelin’s temper flared. She felt the flames dance at her fingertips. Y/n cast a small shield to separate them. The female so rarely used her magic like that, she forgot she’s capable of it.

Rowan walked in, assessed the scene, and snorted. His magic both extinguished her flames and ripped down her shield. They turned to glare at him.

“Did you ever wonder where your magic comes from?” He asked y/n instead.

“My family.” She said, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Did you know your mother is part Crochan?”

Aelin sensed the shock running through y/n. She hadn’t known. Rowan. She glared at him, and he ignored her.

A flurry of emotions ran through the bond, y/n’s normal defenses completely down - wide open.

“Mostly witch I’d say. But obviously part Fae, given the features.” He continued. Rowan figured it out during the visit, after spending more time with her mother. He’d been waiting to drop this particular knowledge. Give something to unsettle her, the way she had with them. But, he thought she would have known. He thought it was something she hadn’t told them, had hid from them, and didn’t realize it could be something hidden from her. A tang of guilt ripped through him, but not enough to make him regret revealing it.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a witch.” She murmured quietly.

“I know,” Aelin said soothingly, wrapping an arm around her and tugging her into her side. You’re an asshole. She spoke directly to him. Why didn’t you tell me?

It didn’t occur to me. Aelin’s returning glare called bullshit.

“Crochan’s can use small glamors, you never wondered where that came from?”

“The version of my mother you see is different from the one who raised me.” Her words were bitter. Pure ice. He fought down those instincts that told him she might have caused her harm, the ones who told him to go eliminate the threat. He could see Aelin tamping them down as well. “She’s not a bad person,” y/n said quickly, sensing the shifts in their mood, “only … her intentions are good, she did her best raising us, but she can be a sneaky cold-hearted bitch when she wants to.”

Witch. Part witch. She wasn’t upset by the knowledge, it thrilled her actually. The upset came from how her mother never told her. She wonders if her father knew at all. Maybe not.

“Then we know where you get it from.” Rowan crooned.

I closed my eyes, forcing slow breaths in and out of me, cooling the rage seeming beneath my skin. They had a point, but … “Try and insult my mother again, mate or not I will cut off your favorite part.” I hissed. A genuine threat.

I heard Aelin stifling a laugh, but Rowan’s eyes widened slightly, before blinking. “Noted.”

“Crochans were in hiding for several years,” my lips pressed into a tight line. “It’s possible that’s … how she met my father.” My mother wasn’t born into our court - but she might as well rule it at this point.

Rowan’s eyes softened slightly, and he gave a quick nod. Relations between Crochans and Ironteeth only cooled very recently. Maybe that’s part of the reason my mother put a blade in my hand at a young age, and taught me how to use it.

After Rowans … revelation, y/n seemed to daze off. Her eyes were fixed on the floor, and Aelin knew she was deep in thought. She didn’t interrupt her, instead choosing to keep her tugged into her side, glaring at Rowan - who looked unapologetic. He did take a seat on her other side, not touching but close enough he could reach out and hold her if he wanted to.

“She did insist on training us, from a young age.”

“Training?” Rowan’s interest peaked. Gods. Y/n has no idea what she might have started. “I haven’t seen you train before.”

“I do have hobbies outside of being your mate.”

Rowan bristled. “You love hiding things, don’t you.”

“I’d say I’m full of surprises,” she countered dryly, shooting him an infuriating smile. Aelin had taught her that one, sure enough it worked.

“Then train with me tomorrow morning.”

Aelin groaned. This would not end well.

You need to be kinder, she reminded him.

I will. He shot her an exasperated look.

Based on Aelin’s horror stories, I thought I’d be in for a few hours of torture with Rowan the next morning, but to my surprise he was patient. Making small corrections here and there, and focusing mostly on technique.

Rowan sent a small gust of wind - not enough to damage me, but enough to make me lose my balance, costing a few precious seconds before his blade was a few inches from my throat.

“You’d be dead.” I tilted my head after he moved the dagger away. He didn’t say it with coldness, or judgment - maybe a bit of worry.

“I’ll teach you how to use your magic.”

“I’m capable of using my magic.” I snapped back.

He let out a slow breath. “In a fight.”

That makes more sense. “Fine,” I said, a bit begrudgingly, and he grinned - a terrifying grin that made my heart beat a bit faster.

“Rowan.” I heard Aelin’s voice from behind us, and it had a warning tone to it. “Be nice or I’ll take over.”

He grunted, before gesturing towards a table propped against the wall. Weapons, he seemed to say. I narrowed my eyes.

“Why?”

“So you won’t default to them.”

He does have a point. Having never extensively used my magic offensively or defensively, there was a large learning curve over the next few weeks. Rowan seemed to have eternal patience when it came to me. I slowly felt the bridges start to connect again, some of the trust rebuild.

“He was never this nice to me,” Aelin complained one night, my head resting on her lap as she carefully ran her fingers through my hair, detangling any strands gently.

“I believe the circumstances were a bit different.” I mumbled, her motions slowly lulling me to sleep. But, I didn’t think Rowan was feeling particularly kind or generous with the hell he put me through.

“You’re right about that.” She ran her thumb over my cheekbone, tracing down my jawline. “How are you feeling?”

I twisted to look at her, that question could have a myriad of answers. “About what?” My fingers drifted over her shoulder, down her arm, before capturing her hand, squeezing it lightly.

“Everything. Anything.” I couldn’t get a read on her emotions, her face was carefully neutral.

“Right now, I’m tired, sore, and want a snack.” Aelin laughed, before turning me so she could run her fingers through my hair again. “I’m also …” My words trailed off, and I regretted opening my mouth. Having to actually explain how I’m feeling or put it in words, especially with the results some of my questions or words have had in the past, fills me with a sense of anxiety. I don’t know how they’ll react anymore, or how they’ll take certain scenarios. Everything feels like new territory again, despite having been together for some time.

“Also what?” Aelin prompted. I felt her tense underneath me, but her fingers didn’t stop their motions.

“A bit like a bird stuck in a too-small space.” I avoided saying the word ‘cage,’ but the implication was still there.

Aelin loosed a long breath. “Thank you for telling me.”

I blinked in surprise. Thank you, coming from Aelin. The surprise manners almost overrode the fact that she didn’t offer anything to fix it. Almost.

#throne of glass fic #rowaelin x reader #rowaelin x y/n #poly!rowaelin x reader #poly!rowaelin #poly!rowaelin x y/n #rowan whitethorn x y/n #rowan whitethorn x reader #aelin galathynius x reader #aelin galathynius x y/n #throne of glass x reader #sort of proofread this time #read the warnings please!

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