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shopcat · 1 year

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if they met each other in elementary school steve would be like you know i have a horse and robin would look up from the dogshit coloured pencil drawing she was making and would be like this is a PEGASUS -_- and steve would panic and be like i know. i own one of those too. and robin would be like no you fucking don't because she was one of those little kids that swore and steve's eyes would get huge and he'd be like oh my freak she said the f word but on the outside he'd be like YES I DO i can SHOW YOU i have to brush her every day or my mom gets mad at me her name is rosie and robin's like ugh why is this dork even talking to me and would look him up and down and realise they both have bandaids on their knees but his is pink and hers is blue and to her that is a +1 point in his favour plus she secretly absolutely cannot miss the chance of this being real because she knows pegasuses obviously exist but why would STEVE HARRINGTON have one that's so not true

and she decides that like okay fine steve harrington's house gives out full sized hershey's every halloween and he always has this huge pack of pencils like the real fancy ones with the cool colours like silver and and gold and 4 shades of pink and he lets everyone borrow them and doesn't even get mad when kids shove them into their own bags so maybe he does own a pegasus but he TOTALLY wouldn't love her or anything he doesn't deserve her at all but robin really really needs to see it and make it love HER so it runs away and lives with her instead because she has a HUGE backyard okay it always takes her dad ages to rake up all the leaves and she goes well then prove it and steve is like :D okay come by my house after school !!!! and robin's like i can't i have swim lessons and steve's like it's fine i have a pool and this makes sense to their child logic and she's like fine tell your mom to call my mom and steve's like okay and then he walks away really quickly to go have a panic attack in the boys bathroom because he was lying from the beginning and needs to figure out a way to dress rosie up so that robin will believe that a pegasus has been magically transformed into a senile golden retriever. and robin continues colouring in her dogshit horse with wings with a blue pencil that was carefully labelled "s.h."

#🍦#THEYRE SO CUTIES #i really like those two pictures of them they're so cute also the idea of this has made me cry obviously #imagining themlike. 10 or 11. still just kids but the funny kind #like are they getting into any secret government lab monster conspiracies no. are they trying to orchestrate breaking into mark h's house #to take all his limited edition dr pepper that he selfishly hoards away in his closet steve KNOWS he's BEEN there it's the TREASURE TROVE #robin trust me and he won't even notice they're gone COME ON it's limited edition!!! . yes they are #i'm imagining like all the bobs burger adjacent shenanigans like louise gets into. kids r so fun #thehre like yes santa is obviously real and also all monsters and unicorns etc. but also i know the word motherfucker and just learnt #what watergate is and i WILL be talking about it and playing secret government ops with my friends #ugh #anyway #sts

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bewitched-forest · 1 year

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Danny & Billy - Brothers in Too Much Power

For @gummybearstastelikesadness

Summary: Danny Fenton and Billy Batson were a pair of homeless, secretly super power minors trying to navigate life. Danny Fenton takes on the role of Billy's older brother, and the two spend a pleasant breakfast together. Until they are rudely interrupted by Billy's Justice League communicator popping off. Billy Batson, now taking on the form of Captain Marvel, goes to handle the disturbance, until realizing it was Skulker, ghost hunter extraordinaire. Billy taps out, letting Danny Phantom take over.

[Ao3: link]

Danny shifts, eyes fluttering open before he squeezes them closed with a groan. Despite it being winter, the morning is bright with the sun reflecting against the snow. He shifts, blinking his eyes open when he notices the head tucked into his shoulder. With blurry eyes, he looks down at the mop of hair just below his head. It takes him a moment, the phantoms of sleep playing their tricks before he realizes that it's Billy.

The two boys had met, well, almost a year ago now. Danny had gone on the run, his coronation as King of the Infinite Realms making him a much more sought-after ghost, by his parents and strangers alike. Billy had been homeless for a couple of years, bouncing around Fawcett City’s back alleys long before he became Captain Marvel. The two had met when Danny broke into an abandoned home, one Billy had also been using to stay. The strained situation when they had run into each other broke when Danny accidentally slipped a pun, causing Billy to laugh. The two had ended up becoming something of a family, Billy regarding Danny as an older brother and Danny seeing Billy as a younger one in kind.

Danny shifted again, adjusting Billy still asleep behind him before scanning the room. The room in question was very run down. Half the roof had long since been gone, causing the only part free of snow to be the corner Danny and Billy had tucked themselves into. Thankfully, everything seemed untouched.

He heard a soft crackle, pulling his attention to look up. Danny sighed at the sight of the Crown of Fire floating softly above him. It must’ve manifested in their sleep, providing warmth on the freezing winter night. Danny takes a deep breath, forcing the crown away to wherever it went. Billy shifted against Danny, opening his eyes slowly and looking up. Danny looked back down, smiling softly.

“Morning Danny,” says Billy as he pulls away, rubbing his eyes.

“Morning Billy,” Danny replies, groaning softly as he stretches.

Billy shifts, reaching for the backpacks. He pulls them closer, passing the black one to Danny while he opens his red one. Danny takes the bag, tugs open the zipper and reaches in. He pulls out a couple of cans of food, ranging from corn to green beans to regular brown beans.

Billy looks over, grabbing one of the cans. “Hey. What kind of vegetable is jealous?”

Danny looks over with a grin, squinting at Billy. “I dunno, what?”

Billy turns the can, showing the label to Danny. “Green beans!”

Danny snorts, before breaking down into laughter. He grabs the rest of the cans, packing them away. Billy laughs, setting the can of green beans next to its double before digging into his bag. He pulls out a bag of frozen beef jerky, offering it to Danny once he starts calming.

Danny grabs it, setting it down before summoning the Crown of Fire again. He reaches up, grabs it with both hands, and sets it on the ground. Or, well, setting it to hover just over the ground. Billy grabs the cans, holding them over the crown as he mutters under his breath, pulling on stamina of Atlas to protect him from the heat. Danny smiles, grabbing the jerky and holding it over the crown as well. The two shift closer, leaning against each other as they wait for the crown to warm their breakfast for the day.

Danny sighs, plopping his head on top of Billy’s. “We should probably move today. We’ve been in this house for almost a week now.”

Billy nods. “Yeah. Probably should have an actual roof, too.”

Danny snorts. “Definitely.”

Danny pulls the jerky away from the crown, pulling it open. Billy smiles, settings down the cans as he grabs some jerky. The two go on to eat their breakfast peacefully, Danny sending away the crown.

As Danny gets up to throw away the cans, an alarm sounds. Billy jumps, reaching into his bag and pulling out a communicator. He looks up at Danny before tapping it, the screen lighting up to show the Justice League logo.

“Captain Marvel, 1-5,” Billy says. Danny crouches down next to him, looking at the screen.

“Captain Marvel, 1-5. Access granted,” sounds a female voice, before the screen changes.

“What's up, Billy?”

“There’s apparently an unidentified disturbance here in Fawcett City. Since I’m closest and available, they’re asking me to check it out.”

“Alright then.” Danny stands, grabbing the bag of cans and swinging it around his shoulders. “Guess we ought to get going then.”

Billy stands up, grabs the other backpack, and offers it to Danny. “You’re coming?”

“Just to watch. I want to make sure you’re okay, tiny.” Danny grins, taking the other bag.

Billy squints. “Shazam!” he shouts. Lightning strikes down, and in his place stands Captain Marvel. “I’m not tiny now,” he states, puffing out his chest.

Danny laughs, floating off the ground to put them both face to face. “You’ll always be tiny to me.”

Captain Marvel just sighs as he lifts off, following his communicator. Danny shifts to be invisible before following.

} ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ {

When Captain Marvel arrives on the scene, he tilts his head. In front of him is a man of metal, with a silver mohawk. He has several guns, from a bazooka to a machine gun. And the man is glowing. Brightly.

Danny groans beside his younger brother. “This one’s one of mine.”

Marvel blinks, looking over to where Danny’s voice came from. “One of yours?”

“Yeah… Remember how I told you I was a hero once too? This bastard is one of the ghosts I fought. Name’s Skulker. And he wants my pelt. I’ll deal with him.”

“I’m sorry he wants your what?!” Captain Marvel asks as he floats down to one of the rooftops, looking scandalized at his brother once Danny shows himself.

“Yeah, it's nothing. I’ll tell you later.” Danny slips off the backpacks, handing them to Captain Marvel before he shifts, white wings expanding to replace the human boy.

“O-okay. Shazam!” Marvel shouts after he drops the bags, turning back into Billy. He watches as Phantom lifts off, flying towards the metal man and punching him.

“Ah! Brat! I have found you at last!” shouts Skulker, aiming the machine gun at Phantom.

“Can it, Skulker!” Phantom says, grabbing Skulker and slamming him into the ground. Billy races to the edge of the building, looking over to continue watching his brother fight.

Skulker was definitely outmatched by Phantom. Phantom had him pinned down, and was actively tearing apart the various weapons he had. Billy watched with wide eyes, jaw-dropping as Phantom ripped off the head. Phantom shakes the head, a small lump of green tumbling out. Billy watches as his older brother grabs the thermos on his belt, sucking up the entire mech suit and blob before capping it again.

Phantom looks up and around before spotting Billy on the roof. He lifts off, turning invisible before looping back around and settling down by Billy. He shifts back to human after letting go of the invisibility, clearing his throat.

Billy whirls around, barely hesitating to slam into Danny with a hug. A little cheating with flight is probably the only reason Danny didn’t hit the floor.

“Oof-” Danny mutters, returning the hug.

“That was awesome!” Billy yells as he leans back, staring at Danny with a face full of admiration. “You must’ve been such a good hero before! That was so cool to watch! You just slammed into the ground and then bam, pow, crunch he was done for!”

Danny chuckles as he steps back, Billy taking the opportunity to practically bounce around. “Yeah. I guess.”

Billy pauses, looking back at Danny. “Why did you stop? Being a hero and all? You’re really good at it.”

Danny sighed, looking away. “I got crowned king. When I became the King of the Infinite Realms, all of the sudden the ghost hunters and magic users started hunting me down even more. I spent most of my battles trying to save my own skin rather than actually keeping the peace.”

Billy frowns, walking over and hugging Danny again. “I mean we have each other now. We could become a team! Then I could keep away the hunters, and you could be a hero again!”

Danny looks down at Billy, blinking in shock before hugging Billy back with a smile. “Ah- Maybe. It wouldn’t be easy. Ghosts aren’t exactly recognized as citizens.”

Billy grins. “Well, that seems like an injustice to me. And lucky for you!” Billy steps back, puffing out his chest and pointing at it with his thumb,” I’m a member of the Justice League! And we specialize in fighting injustice!”

Danny chuckles, ruffling Billy’s hair. “Okay. Let’s talk about this later. We definitely need to head off.”

Billy smiles, nodding. “Alright.” He grabs his backpack, throwing it on as Danny does the same. Then he grabs Danny’s hand, interlacing his fingers.

Danny smiles before turning them both invisible. He walks over to the edge of the roof, lifting off into the air. The two fly off, set about continuing their day.

#danny fenton #danny phantom #billy batson #captain marvel #captain marvel dc #dp x dc #Danny Phantom x Captain Marvel #dp x captain marvel #secret santa #batpham server shenanigans #batpham server secret santa

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foolishlovers · 4 months

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if you’re looking for something to read over the holidays, my good omens christmas fic is an enemies to lovers story that features fussy bookseller! aziraphale and grumpy florist! crowley who just can’t stop bickering whenever they meet. their mutual friends might have a plan on how to change that this festive season…

#tumblr shenanigans plus found family vibes on top of that!!#it was such a joy writing this fic!!#good omens #good omens fic #good omens fanfic #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #secret santa au #good omens fic rec

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reluctanttrabbit · 5 months

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should i make an ao3 acc? i feel like i should (i'll elab. in the tags)

#because for my secret santa i plan to do a little fic for 'em :3 #but idk if i should post it to tumblr ONLY #or make an ao3 acc and also post it there #also i just need an account in general bc whenever i read ur guys' fics i have to put my thoughts in the tags and not in the comments and #its just really inconvenient tbh...#idk help me decide guys lmaoo #vanny shenanigans

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valveorangebox · 4 months

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Red vs. Blue Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Franklin Delano Donut/Sharkface Characters: Franklin Delano Donut, Sharkface (Red vs. Blue), Locus | Samuel Ortez, Felix | Isaac Gates, Dexter Grif, Dick Simmons, Sarge (Red vs. Blue), Lopez (Red vs. Blue), Lavernius Tucker Additional Tags: Donut snags a man by through pure whimsy, secret santa gift!!, red team adoption, Mercs join red team, Locus and Felix are beefing, I'm sorry it was just funny to me if they were, Sharkface is down horrendous, MERRY CRISMIS, Slightly suggestive?, Donut drinks a tad Summary:

The Mercenaries join red team. Sharkface finds himself growing fond of one of the Sim Troopers.

My @redvsbluesecretsanta gift for @sxpaiscia !!!! HAppy Holidays!! and I’m so sorry about the late post

#rvb #red vs blue #red vs blue secret santa #Franklin Delano Donut #Sharkface #Donut/Sharkface #Red team Shenanigans are so much fun

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clownmoontoon · 1 year

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MERRY CHRISTMAS @dudouji I WAS YOUR SECRET CLOWN SANTA :oD!!!!! for @clownartmonth's event! 🤡🥰🌈

your clowns are SO CUTE and these two were a JOY to draw!! i wish i had time to draw your other clown ocs too bc all your designs were just 🥰😍🤡💖💞💝🌈🌈🌈!!!!!!!!

#clowny art #clowns #clown #clownblr #clownartmonth #clown art #rainbow #eyestrain #clowncore #artists on tumblr #YEAHYEAHYEAH SO HAPPY I JOINED THIS EVENT!!!!#havent been able to draw for months bc of irl shenanigans (PAIN) but IM BACK BABY #also i didnt follow u at the time bc i didnt want it to be obv that im your secret santa but im DEF following you now YOUR ART IS SO CUTE #AAAA ;;;;;;

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eggo-tistical · 5 months

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my bad for not posting much lately!! im not free for winter break yet and my days generally consist of fluctuating between "IT'S SOO OVER" and "WE'RE SO BAAACK" at incredibly rabid speeds,

#meant to say rapid but honestly it works this way too #thats just how its goin yaknow #I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY IVE GOT A WHOLE TO DO LIST FOR STUFF IVE BEEN DAYDREAMING ABT DRAWING I JUST BARELY HAVE THE TIMEEE #me trying to decide between secret santa shenanigans #hiding this in the tags but i wanna add my own spin 2 eric's magical girl luis au so bad like im gonna DIE and SPLIT MY ATOMS free me pleas

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sokkas-first-fangirl · 1 year

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Mirabel found herself in Casita’s kitchen, squinting at a recipe for orange and cranberry cookies. It was a new recipe book from the next town over and everything Julieta had baked from it so far was, of course, utterly amazing.

Mirabel wasn’t much of a baker, but she wanted to give her mamá a break, okay? A nice surprise. One less thing to worry about in the morning.

It’s just, you know, Casita was always so dang busy and Mirabel wanted this to be a surprise…So she was baking in secret at midnight.

Well, no one ever said it was a well thought out plan.

🍪

Mirabel wants to make a nice surprise for Julieta, but no one can ever accuse Mirabel of planning ahead. At least Bruno's happy to help her out.

Or: Mirabel and Bruno make cookies for Julieta, and Mirabel loves her family very much

🍪

For @junosaccount for the secret Santa exchange! Happy holidays 🎄

#small hours #secret santa #la familia madrigal #mirabel madrigal #bruno madrigal #julieta madrigal #the madrigal family #madrigal family shenanigans #encanto #encanto fanfic #encanto fanfiction #my writing #new story #one shot #update #nothing but wholesome fluff #which is rare from me!

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verstappieatheart · 1 year

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the way I screamed when I saw that Charles was Max's secret santa! and he photoshopped the cover of the game - and said in his card 'an edition for his biggest fan'?! Lestappen nation how are we doing? 😭

#did not expect such a big lestappen moment from this video #but thank you F1 media team for making it happen #why do I have to think about a fic where Charles wears something funny-sexy like underwear with a big bow to surprise Max #saying something along the lines of: I am the second part of your secret santa gift #or: you can also play with me in real life #(I know this sounds awfully cringy) I have more: wanna unwrap your private secret-santa gift?#now I should sit down and write this corny one-shot #lestappen #winter break shenanigans

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only10tion · 1 year

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Hiii how are you today/tonight? I’m your Secret Santa 🥰🎅 my first question for you is who is your skz bias or bias line? - 🎄

Oooh exciting :) it's hard for me to choose but if I had to I'd say Felix 💕 bcs im addicted to his asmr

However Changbin is also pretty close to the top because I LOVE the way he plays around with rhythm in rap,,

#u didnt ask for reasons but i gave them anyway bcs i love rambling <3 #stray kids #secret santa shenanigans

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ship--ahoy · 4 months

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A Christmas star made by the crew of the revenge as a Secret Santa gift for @blood-suits-and-tears.

They're just really into geometry ⛥ 😉.

Merry (belated) Christmas everyone!

Bonus: Jim is not amused.

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy being forced to participate in the crew's shenanigans #geometry #crew of the revenge #secret santa #Jim's not having it #they might accidentally summon a demon

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pyrriax · 4 months

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completely forgot to post this earlier, but the most impromptu & shitty "i remembered there's a wedding arch in one of these mods" and one too many jokes were made. so.

(bonus "missletoe" image as well, which wasn't even my doing, that was @aperture-science-sys' idea; thanks to grey for taking the first screenshot, lol)

#haunted ecosystem #i really need to make a minecraft tag #pyrr pyrriax gets minecraft married to its friend. i guess that made grey a canon priest? hm.#the museum crew gets up to shenanigans. i was losing my mind at that point ok. 1300 block railroad. i placed the rails.#that's what the oak plank Line is. im gonna go through and add supports later. we were just trying to speedrun to path to withers crypt #ALSO final screenshot was from the secret santa gift opening. i didnt participate but i was there for the sillies

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nuwildcat · 1 year

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Secret Santa Snippet!

It’s WIP Wednesday and I come to you all with an early gift (we can count this one for Hanukkah) it’s a super sized snippet of the Big/Tay fic that I am collaborating with @mortimerlatrice on! We’ve moved on to Chapter 3 which will be our final chapter and I’ve got a bit of shenanigans to share with you! Enjoy and keep your eyes peeled between Christmas and New Years for when we drop these three gifts!

“You weren’t really gonna give up on Tay with one failed date were you?”

Big goes silent, he’s not sure that another date would be welcome, and he’s aware that annoying Tay would be the worst thing he could do.

“Oh hell no,” Porsche says. “You have to go again, which is why we are going to apply a liberal amount of alcohol to the problem.” He pours them both a sizable helping of the, Big is pretty sure it’s bourbon.

They clink glasses before Big throws the entire thing back.

“Well okay then,” Porsche has never failed to rise to a challenge, and follows suit.

Three glasses later Big can feel the floating sensation in his head and a tingle in his fingers. The buzz is hitting his system quickly, which tells him that he’s going to be feeling it a lot more in a few minutes.

“So how bad was the food?” Porsche is giggling a bit as he asks. For a bartender that didn’t take long to get him tipsy.

Instead of answering he asks, “How are you tipsy already?”

“Shut up, I haven’t had anything to eat for like six hours. Kinn had to get up at an ungodly hour this morning.” Porsche pushes his shoulder lightly while scolding him. Big sways more than he expected in response.

“It was fucking terrible. I didn’t know what half the things on the menu were and then it came out in these tiny pretty plates that I didn’t know how to eat.” He can feel himself start to ramble.

“Right?” Porsche chimes in. “Like the names are bad enough but what are you supposed to do with gel and foam?”

“Yeah! Then the foam tasted like smoke and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. Oh gosh and the wine! I don’t even like wine, but this one was orange!”

Porsche blinks blearily while pouring them another glass, the bottle is over half empty. “Orange? It comes in orange? I thought it came in red and white.”

“You were a bartender shouldn’t you know?”

“Hmm,” Porsche’s response doesn’t tell him anything.

He doesn’t worry about it for long. “Orange and terrible. Bleh.”

Porsche cackles, “Was that the face you made when you tried it?”

“No!” He’s really starting to wobble now. “I was super mature and didn’t wince at all.” There take that Porsche.

“Oh sure,” Porsche nods sagely agreeing with him, as he should. “You didn’t flinch at all when you drank the weird orange wine.” Big is suddenly suspicious of Porsche’s agreement. “I bet, I bet you were a total wine conno,... condo,... nope, connousier. That’s the word.”

Big cant help but snort at his friend. “You’re drunk.”

“Yes I am! Which is why we should message Tay!” Porsche crows.

This sounds like an excellent idea. He’s wanted to message the man for a while now. Gosh, Tay is so pretty.

He must say this out loud because Porsche responds, “Yeah, he is and we all know you are gone on him, dude.”

“Well I think that just speaks to how good my taste is.” He’s not going to be sassed by this little shit.

“Kinda bossy though, you’ll have to watch out for that.”

“I kinda like that,” Oh shit, even his inebriated brain knows he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Porsche’s head whips to him and his eyes are very wide. “Well I guess you do like them bossy.”

What? Big’s brain can’t figure that one out. It must be clear on his face that he’s confused because Porsche elaborates.

“I mean you liked Kinn, who is the bossiest guy I know.” Big grimaces because he thinks that was a sex reference. “But Tay is bossy too. It’s just packaged as nice, not mean.” Definitely a sexual reference.

“Porsche, I do not want to know what you and Kinn do when you fuck like bunnies.”

Porsche flushes slightly and Big feels himself start to chuckle, it takes a lot to get under this man’s skin, he’s shameless. Porsche clears his throat and looks away causing Big to burst into full blown laughter.

“Oh shut up, you want a pretty little man to boss you around in bed.” Well that shuts him up quick because now his brain is supplying him with images. “Stop, stop it!” Porsche yells at him while whacking him with a throw pillow. Big goes back to laughing at his boss’s antics. “Filthy mind,” Porsche complains under his breath.

Big snorts, “You fucked a man in a bathroom last week. You have no room to talk.”

Porsche squints at him for a moment then says, “Point.” He refills Big’s glass and tops up his own, before looking at the almost empty bottle like he’s puzzled why it’s so empty. “So, how are you going to get Tay to go on a second date with you?”

Ugh, he’s drunk but is he this drunk? As he tips his head back the room spins, guess that answers his question. “I have no idea,” he can’t keep the defeated tone out of his voice.

“Nope! Nope, not an option. We are going compose the best text and send it to him.” This won’t end well but his brain is shut down for the day.

“What would we say?”

“Hmm,” Porsche pulls a very over the top thinking face, even tapping his chin with his finger. “Well maybe you should lead with the fact you want him to boss you around in bed.”

“Porsche!”

The menace cackles, “Okay, okay not that. But I think that would work!”

“If you’re going to be like that I’m leaving.” He goes to get up off the couch and just falls back down. Porsche keeps laughing, the asshole. “Do you have actual advise, or are you just jerking me around?”

“Honestly? I don’t have a whole lot of experience with this stuff.” Porsche shrugs.

“Really?” Big kind of always assumed Porsche was a bit of a player.

“Yeah, I hadn’t actually dated anyone before Kinn.” Big’s jaw drops. Hadn’t dated anyone? Even Big has managed that. “Wasn’t a whole lot of time with raising my brother and myself.” Porsche shrugs like it isn’t a big deal.

“Damn, you better make Kinn take you on more dates.” There now the other man is smiling again, that’s better. Big has no idea when he became invested in Porsche being happy. It just seems to make everything else easier when the man is.

“We are focused on getting you date right now. Hand it over.” He makes gimmy hands at Big until he forks over his phone. That is going to be a move he regrets.

They compose and scrap and compose some more until they have a masterpiece to send. They are both very proud of the final product. He sends it right away.

Waking up the next morning, which gosh, they started drinking at four in the afternoon, his head is throbbing. There’s someone curled up with their head in his lap, looking down he sees Porsche. The menace deserves to suffer with him, so he pushes him off the couch.

The thud of Porsche hitting the ground is followed by a groan of pain. Big squints against the light coming in from the windows and tries to swallow the need to vomit. His eyes hurt. What all did they drink last night?

He nudges Porsche with his foot as the other man hasn’t moved. “Get up,” his voice is wrecked.

“Noo,” Porsche whines, but he sits up all the same, he looks like shit, which means Big does too. He remembers something important happened last night but can’t figure out what.

The buzz of his cellphone brings everything back. FUCK. The text, what did he send to Tay? He scrambles to grab his phone stepping on Porsche who hasn’t gotten off the floor.

“Ouch,” the whine is truly pathetic. He frantically opens his texts to Tay and the first few words make him want to melt in embarrassment. He kicks Porsche to get his attention.

“I am never drinking with you again, or taking your advice,” he snipes, wanting to bury his burning face in his hands, but he has to read these texts.

The flowery apologies he can handle. He honestly feels like shit about how awkward the date was. The confession of his nerves was fine, it’s the rest.

Two paragraphs where he waxes poetic about how pretty Tay is and how that distracted him. A rant about orange wine, that he’s pretty sure Porsche wrote. Then the begging kicks in. Oh fuck the begging. He pleads for Tay to give him a second chance. Entreats the man to let him prove he can do better. Even mentions that he would be the best he could be for someone as pretty and amazing as Tay.

Eight messages later Big is nuclear red and would like to become one with the floor. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” he wants to strangle Porsche and his horrible ideas.

Porsche has been reading over his shoulder and snickering. The plus side is the way he’s clutching his head indicates he’s suffering as he does it.

The typing bubbles pops up as Tay is composing a response.

“Fuck, fuck,” Big bobbles the phone is his surprise just barely holding onto it. He’s in a full on panic and this point, holding his breath to see what Tay says.

#fic #secret santa #the Tay/Big agenda #in this house #we give Tay nice things #in this case it's big #Porsche is a menace #drunken shenanigans #wip wednesday

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