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surielstea · 1 month

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Glazed Over Eyes

Based on this request.

Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader takes care of a very drunk, very clingy Azriel.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol | Fluff

1.9k words

The Inner Circle had gone to Rita’s. I had opted to stay at home with Amren— saying that she couldn’t be trusted to watch Nyx alone as my excuse instead of going to the pleasure hall, besides, I’d much rather be silently doing puzzles while listening to the music coming from beside the bank of the Sidra with the windows wide open.

Feyre and Rhys had come home with pink cheeks, nearly forgetting they shared a house with others, Rhys trying to mount his mate right in front of us. Amren banished them to their room with an annoyed look before returning to the nearly complete puzzle we only started an hour ago.

A moment later, Cassian is stumbling into the room with his arm hooked around a very sober, very annoyed Nesta. She lugs him behind her, he seemed too drunk to fly so they're most likely crashing here for the night. My brows crease when I notice my mate not following in after them. Azriel was hesitant to leave me here in the first place, not wanting to go to some kind of party without me there for him to retreat to when things got too loud. I encouraged him to go, to have fun. I was now worried he was having too much fun.

"Hey Nes?" I call before they can disappear down the hall. She turns to me with creased brows and tired eyes. "Hm?" She asks. "Do you know where Az is?" I ask worriedly, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt, she pales and looks at Cassian who is oblivious to everything but her. "Azriel?" She snaps her fingers in his face and he blinks, waking from his stupor. "Uh, last time I saw him he was cradling a whiskey bottle so it's anyone's guess." He says and I square ny features. "That's reassuring," I whisper. "Sorry, I didn't know I was on babysitting duty for both Illyrians." Nesta sighs as if she's truly let me down. "It's fine, take care of Cass. I'll check Rita's." I wave her off and she nods in thanks. "If you can't find him let me know, I'll help you." She gives me a soft expression and I give her a carefree smile. "Will do." I nod at her, knowing damn well I would be too busy panicking to ask anyone for help if I couldn't find him. She nodded and left down the hall with the huge male draped over her shoulders.

"Sorry Amren, I'll be back," I say, walking towards the front door. "Go, girl. Gods know he's probably found himself in a jail cell by now." She grumbled and I pale. "Comforting, thanks," I mutter before slipping out the door.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Rita's was abnormally loud tonight, or perhaps it was just my lack of intoxication. My brows crease as I scan the pleasure hall for my mate, pulling at the bond connecting us and getting an overwhelming amount of attention back, more than a tug— a pull, towards him.

I don't hesitate to follow the golden tether, leading me right towards the bar.

I spot a familiar head of blonde hair, the girl flirting with the bartender as my mate lays his head down on the bar top.

I push past the crowd, eager to get over to them— shoving drunk males off of me until I finally reach the duo. Mor didn't notice, busy making seductive eyes toward the bartender. I tap Azriel's shoulder and he groans. "I have a mate." He waves me off and I roll my eyes. "I know," I say, he whips his head up and looks at me— eyes widening as he recognizes me. "I'm a genie." He smiled proudly and my brows twitched toward eachother, entirely confused at his giddy behavior. "I wished for you to be here, and now..." He searches for the right words in a long pause. "And now you're here." He finishes and all I can do is blink, bringing the back of my hand to his forehead. "How many drinks did you have?" I tilt my head and he smiles knowingly. "Just one, plus a few more." He shrugs innocently and I release a sigh. "You're drunk." I frown and he scratches the side of his cheek, staring at me blankly.

“I’m not—” hiccup. “Drunk.” He finishes and I arch a brow at him, my stare incredulous. “You’re also not a good liar.” I chastise and he glowers at me, setting his empty glass down on the bar and turning to me fully. “I’m the shadow-master, it’s my job to lie.” He crosses his arms over his chest and I need to refrain from my giggle threatening against my lips. “You’re the spymaster,” I correct and his expression falls.

“Whatever,” He brushes me off. “Words are dumb anyways.” The male grumbles and I laugh at his attitude. His cheeks flush pink and something tells me it’s not due to the alcohol. “You’re so pretty,” He murmurs dreamily and I roll my eyes. “Can you kiss me please,” His hands find mine, pulling me closer with a yearning look. “You’re drunk.” I remind and he groans, head going up to the sky before coming right back down to me. “Drunk on you.” He states as if that makes him any more sober.

I release a soft sigh, rising onto my toes and press a gentle peck to his lips. As I back away he looks at me with a glaze over his eyes, a dumbfounded smile coming to his lips. “That felt good.” He mused and I shook my head in disbelief, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to support him as I dragged him away from the bar and towards the exit. “Bye Mor!” I call back but I doubt she heard me, doubt she even noticed I was there with the way she was talking to the bartender.

Shadows swish around the both of us, causing the crowd to part a path for us, in fear of the shadow singer who, little did they know, was too inebriated to even think about harming anyone.

I lug him out of the bar. “Can’t fly,” He mumbles. “I know,” I pat a hand on his chest reassuringly. “Will you throw up if I winnow?” I look up at him and he takes about three seconds too long to answer. “I suppose there’s only one way to find out.” He shrugs. “Okay just, don’t do it on me,” I instruct and he nods dutifully.

I winnow us back onto the lawn of our house, Azriel’s knees buckling and his hands coming down onto them, leaning over as if he was about to hurl. “You okay?” I press a hand to his back and he nods eagerly, trying to convince himself. I comb his hair back, shadows swirling around the both of us until he’s fully recovered.

Slowly, he stands back up to his full height and drags his feet as we walk up the porch to our house, his arm around my shoulders yet again as he leans most of his weight onto me, wings just barely hovering above the floor as I open the door to our home, pulling him in with me.

“Let’s get you some water,” I say, leading him over to the kitchen and settling him down on a barstool. He sits unstably, staring at me with a stony look. I cautiously back away, afraid he’d tip over without my support, then walk into the kitchen. His eyes follow me with every step I take, shadows swirling around my legs and through my hair.

“Have you always been this pretty?” He asks unprompted, I flush, flicking my eyes up to him as I pour him a tall glass of water. “You’re like, ultra-beautiful—” His words are cut off as he topples over off his chair and crashes down onto the floor.

I pale and set the glass down, rushing towards him and falling to my knees beside his body. He chuckled as he stared up at the ceiling, making me more worried than I should have been. “Are you hurt?” My hand comes to his cheek, scanning for injuries. “From when I fell from heaven?” He raises a brow at me curiously. “From when you fell off your chair.” I correct and he blinks slowly. “Uh,” He mumbles like he has to think about it. “I don’t think so.” He uttered and I giggled, now that I know he was okay. I help him sit up, grabbing the water from the counter and handing it to him.

“I didn’t take you for a clumsy drunk,” I look at him quizzically. “The spymaster is a very quiet, very precise male.” He speaks in the third person. “And very, very, very sneaky.” He adds with a hiccup and I shake my head, making sure he drinks every last drop of the water I gave him.

Once he’s finished I take the glass and help him up. Placing the glass in the sink, he drapes his arms over my shoulders, my hands coming to his forearms as most of his weight now relies on me. “C’mon, you big baby,” I grunt as I haul him towards our bedroom. “Not a baby.” He reminds me like I’ve forgotten. “Sure,” I mumble, pulling him into our room and shutting the door behind us.

He makes the rest of the journey to the bed himself, flopping down onto it. “No sleeping yet,” I grab him by the collar and pull him back upright, beginning to undo the ties of his clothes. He helps me with the undressing, shucking off his leathers as I walk over to the armoire and find a pair of lounge pants, tossing them at him.

He hums a soft tune to help him focus as he pulls the pants up. I wander into the bathroom, open the cabinet, and find a tonic to help with headaches, issued by Madja. I walk back into the room to find him beneath the covers, already half asleep.

“Az,” I call, and his humming halts, head raising to look at me. “This is for the morning okay?” I hold up the small vial and he nods with a soft smile. “You take such good care of me,” He sighs as I climb into the large bed beside him, his arm immediately snaking around my waist and pulling me into him. “I have to return the favor somehow.” I smile up at him, brushing his dark hair from his forehead. “Thank you.” He mutters. I can only nod in reply. He leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead, then he pulls me upward and nuzzles his nose into my shoulder, pressing soft kisses there as well.

I comb my hands through his hair with a nurturing intent. Shadows settle around us, disappearing into the floorboards and corners of the room. Azriel releases a soft sigh of contentment at the feeling of his arms wrapped around me, my warmth consuming him. “Love you.” He murmurs tiredly. “Love you too,” I whisper back, and then his breathing steadies out as if that’s all he needs to hear in order to fall asleep.

Sleep swallowed him entirely, and once I know he’s cared for and safe, only then do I allow myself to fall into a slumber of my own.

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Azriel Taglist: @coolepowersthings @dabalyuteeeftia @midnightsulfur @lovely-giggles @quiettuba @judig92 @ilovewarner45 @tothestarsandwhateverend @je-suis-prest-rachel

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wangxianficrecs · 24 days

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An Evening Well Spent by Admiranda

An Evening Well Spent

by Admiranda (@admirableadmiranda)

G, 2k, Wangxian

Summary:Jin Ling had hoped for a quiet evening in getting to visit with his uncles that he didn't get to see very often. Things went a bit awry. Kay's comments: Just a little post-canon fluff and Wangxian staying at Jinlintai and getting up to some shenanigans with Jin Ling feat. drunk Lan Wangji. Very cute, very funny, really enjoyed it!! Excerpt: He felt his face heat and scowled and ducked his head. “What's with you, Hanguang-jun?” he demanded, stepping out of head patting range before it could happen again. He looked helplessly at Wei Wuxian, who was being terrible and unhelpful by leaning on the wall and laughing. “Wei Wuxian? What's wrong with your husband?” Hanguang-jun, apparently uncaring of any insult only wandered back across the hall to pat Wei Wuxian on the head as well, as if he were worried he were feeling left out by only Jin Ling being tormented that way. “Wei Ying, the ponds.” “Yes, yes, the ponds,” Wei Wuxian said with an odd pinkness to his cheeks as Lan Wangji took one of his hands into his own, then pulled him across the hallway to grab Jin Ling's own hand before he could react, pulling the both of them along in the wrong direction again. “Lan Zhan, why don't you let Jin Ling lead?” Lan Wangji seemed to consider that for a moment then keep going. “Wei Wuxian,” he hissed under his breath, “what is going on?” His shishu made a half skip to keep up, looking utterly unfazed by the turn his evening had taken, “Lan Zhan was not looking at which cup he picked up at dinner and stole mine,” he said calmly, gently tugging on his arm to lead him in another direction at Jin Ling's nod. “So now the time for being drunk has arrived.”

pov jin ling, post-canon, family feels, families of choice, drunk lan wangji, drunken shenanigans, bonding, family bonding, fluff, fluff and humor, no angst

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

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daniwib · 1 month

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Suit

When Buck and Eddie see Chimney running away before his wedding to Maddie, they decide to take matters into their own hands and save the day. That’s what brothers are for, after all.

OR: How Buck and Eddie’s suits get ruined before the Madney wedding.

Read on Ao3 here.

I adore comments, they make me want to write even more! Reblogs are awesome too.

#crack treated seriously #madney wedding spec #s7 speculation #based on THOSE suits #drunken shenanigans #misunderstandings #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #9-1-1 #9-1-1 fanfiction #911 on abc #911 abc

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muse-of-gods · 9 months

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Peter and Tony go out to a club to party together. Peter has been in love with Tony since forever, but the older man was always giving him the cold shoulder when Peter tried to flirt with him in the past.

That changes after Tony has had a few too many glasses of champagne and he confesses his love for Peter right there on the dance floor. He tells him that has been holding back his feelings because of the typical "I am too old and not good for you". But with the little help of alcohol they manage to take their relationship to the next level. 💕

For @starkerfestivals Summer Bingo: Drunken Shenanigans

#starker #tony stark x peter parker #starker moodboard #sfsummerbingo23 #drunken shenanigans #myedits

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robot-carl · 1 month

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Me too Eddie. Me too. 🍷🍷🍷

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thebubblesareevil · 2 years

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Am I dead?

Okay so Danny goes out drinking for his 21st birthday and ends up drunk off his ass. The trio are bar hopping all night but at one point Danny goes missing. He got distracted and somehow ended up in a bar under the sea (don’t travel through portals while drunk kids). Anyway everyone is kinda weirded out by this man who is speaking English and they call for some guards because he is clearly intoxicated and they’re not sure what to do with him but when they try to escort him out he thinks they’re trying to fight him and so he beats them up. Kaldur (who was visiting home) hears the commotion and goes to intervene. The room is chaos when he enters the room and someone asks Kaldur to help. Kaldur slowly approaches the stranger who turns around, looks Kaldur straight in the eyes and says “holy shit Am I dead?” Before Kaldur can reply the stranger continues “wait of course I’m dead, and you must be an angel. What the heck did I do to meet an angel. I didn’t even know angels were real but here you are. I’ll have to ask dad about angels when we get to the other side.” Meanwhile everyone around is trying not to laugh at this drunken idiot who is causing the kings apprentice to blush. Kaldur asks what the strangers name is and how he got there and he stops for a moment and thinks he says his name is Danny, not Daniel, not danno, and most definitely not Dan, just Danny please. With his head propped up on his hand leaning on a table he then asks if he could have his name Kaldur tells danny his name and is surprised when he says his full name flawlessly. Kaldur then turns to one of the guards that has picked himself up and tells him in Atlantean that he’s going to take him to the hospital to see if they can sober him up.

Danny jumps up at that knocking over the table which he just stares at for a moment before he says in Atlantean “no no no, no hospitals,” Kaldur, surprised, tells him that he needs to go to a hospital so they can figure out where he came from. Danny walks right up to him and pokes him in the chest and says “nope, no hospitals, it’s not like they can help me remember? I’m already dead!” Kaldur laughs and says be that as it may he needs to sober up. Danny, still poking Kaldur in the chest, asks “then why can’t I go with you, your my angel right? So I’ll go with you.” Kaldur pinches his nose while the guards and trying desperately not to laugh in the background. Kaldur finally agrees after much back and forth to let Danny stay in his guest room. Danny cheers and then asks Kaldur if he would carry him because his legs are just sooo heavy.

Kaldur is questioning his life choices.

Danny wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache looks out the window and sees water. He is not as freaked out about that as he should be. No it’s the fact that he’s in a bed underwater that is the concerning part. He tries and fails to sneak out when he gets caught by Kaldurs mother who then invites him to breakfast. Danny of course accepts because hey free food. Kaldur joins them and asks how he’s feeling this morning. When Danny looks over at Kaldur he nearly chokes, manages to swallow his food and (in true milo thatch style) says pretty boy, pretty GOOD doing pretty good. Kaldurs mom is very amused. Kaldur invites Danny on a walk and asks if he could explain how he came to be in Atlantis. Danny laughs for a few seconds and then a just like no seriously where am I?

Kaldur repeats that he is in Atlantis that the night before he got into a fight in a bar and he refused to go to a hospital, in Atlantean. Danny’s like the language thing I get I speak a lot of languages. Its the Atlantis part I don’t get, because last he checked Atlantis was destroyed by a giant alien starfish around 32 B.C.

Kaldur stares at Danny and Danny stares right back, before saying I think we need to go see the king. Danny nods and the two of them go to leave,

The two of them head to the castle and the talk on the way, Danny asks what happened the night before and Kaldur explained exactly how hard Danny was flirting with him. Danny turns a bright red and chuckles replying that at least drunk him has excellent taste in men. The two of them talk (and flirt) the whole way there. Once they explain what’s going on it’s decided they would go to see the justice league to consult with their magic users. Danny at this point is really confused but is pretty sure he’s figured out what’s going on so he asks who exactly the justice league is and they all look at him like he’s crazy he’s like I guess they’re a big deal huh and rubs the back of his neck. Whelp its official I’ve stumbled into another dimension. Kaldur leads him to a zeta tube and Danny just straight up says no just no that’s not happening. Been there done that died and come back no thank you. Kaldur insists that it’s perfectly safe and asks if he wants him to go first and Danny shouts NO and pulls Kaldur away from the zeta tube. Kaldur and aquaman look at each other before Kaldur suggests that he close his eyes and he would guide him through the zeta tube. It takes a bit of convincing but Danny finally agrees and Kaldur takes his hand and leads him through the tube. They arrive in mount justice where the magic users in the league had all gathered.

Danny is in the middle of a panic attack and there are glowing Lichtenberg figures crawling up his neck as Kaldur slowly helps him calm down with the aid of an incredibly adorable giant wolf named wolf who was just the cutest thing in the world (Conner greatly approves of this). Danny thanks Kaldur and wolf, and then he is brought over and introduced to the rest of the team. Dr fate is suspiciously absent however both Zatanna and Shazam comment on how his aura looks weird, like it’s been touched by death. Danny says that makes sense but doesn’t elaborate. They are all trying to figure out where Danny has come from and how to get him back and Danny says that he honestly has no idea he was celebrating his 21st and the next thing he knew he was in another universe waking up in Atlantis. The debate goes on for a bit and Danny just focuses on Kaldur, he asks him what made him want to be a hero and they end up talking about how Kaldur came to be aqualad.

They all decide to take a break and some of the leaguers decide to approach Danny to ask him some questions. It’s when green lantern comes up to him and says that’s an interesting ring you got there that Danny stares at his hand for a full minute before getting up and repeatedly smacking his head on the wall, cursing all the while. Kaldur asks if he would care to explain why he’s trying to put a hole in the wall and Danny looks right at Kaldur and says “in my defense I was drunk, I am hungover, and there has been a very handsome man distracting me this whole time.” Batman demands an explanation and Danny tells them how this is the ring of rage which has the ability to create portals and how he didn’t even remember putting it on. It looks like while he was drunk he decided to try getting home with a portal and entirely missed the mark, in his defense he’s only had it about a month. Several people looked at Danny like he was an idiot but he just shrugged it off

Danny the raises his hand in the air and concentrates on the ghost zone. A large green portal appears and Danny rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, “sorry about all that umm— but before he can continue something comes flying out of the portal smacking Danny in the face only to be revealed as a boomerang? Danny stops for a moment before screaming GANGWAY!! And pushing Kaldur out of the direct path of the portal. Just in time as a large ship comes crashing through. After things settle and Danny has gotten himself and Kaldur up the door to the ship opens only for Danny to once more be knocked to the ground by an overexcited green puppy. Who licks Danny relentlessly before getting distracted by wolf.

In the meantime 3 people exit the ship 2 of which are wearing dark sunglasses. The one wearing a full body red suit charges up to Danny yelling FENTON!! And immediately starts scolding him about disappearing like that and what the hell did he think he was doing. The tall goth woman tells “Val” to quite down that if his head hurts half as bad as hers it’s punishment enough. Danny says thanks to his friends for looking for him and then introduces them to the league. He looks like hes about to continue talking when Tucker cuts him off and says “dude as much as I’d love to stay and chat with real live super hero’s we got to go if the fright knight doesn’t go on a rampage soon your sister will.” Danny looks mildly offended and says “excuse me what am I chopped liver?!”

Tucker looked him dead in the eye and says “I said LIVE superheroes, last I checked you only half qualify” Danny laughs and says fair enough Kaldur questions this and he says that he is in fact dead he told him last night remember? But only half he’s half alive too. Danny calls cujo over but hesitates before making a new portal. He turns to Kaldur and says cujo is absolutely devastated that he has to leave his new friend. Kaldur laughs and says “is he now” danny replies that yes yes he is and would you guys mind if he stopped in every now and again so cujo could have play dates. Kaldur hesitates so Conner jumps in and says that wolf would absolutely love that, kaldur smiles and agrees. Danny gets a huge grin on his face and say awesome it’s a date! He then picks up cujo and says okay buddy I’m not sure if I’m good to fly right now and I gotta lead us home wanna be my noble steed? Everyone looks confused but cujo gives a bark and Danny laughs and sets him down he runs around in a circle before sitting Danny says good boy now grow! And before everyone’s eyes the small (adorably dopey) green dog has turned into a huge serious hound more than twice the size of wolf… who then rolls on his back for some well deserved belly rubs. Danny’s friends board the ship but not before Sam comes up to Kaldur hands him a phone apparently can reach him at anytime so long as he’s in the ghost zone, and parts ways with a friendly threat not to hurt he friend.

Danny climbs on cujos back and they give one last goodbye before leaving through the portal.

Dr fate arrives moments later and is asked what took him so long he only says that it is against the lords of orders rules to willfully interact with the king of the infinite realms. Dick gives Kaldur a big slap on the back and says you hear that looks like you got a date with a king!

Kaldur smiles looking at the green phone in his hand and says “yes, it seems I do”

Okay this got way out of hand this was just supposed to be a prompt, a PROMPT i tell you a PROMPT but it evolved far beyond what it was supposed to be

It’s still a prompt though so if anyone yknow wants to write this in a less chaotic and more thought out fanfiction I would love u forever!! Okay I need sleep have a good night!!

#danny phantom #ghost king danny #dc x dp #brain vomit #cold current #danny/kaldur #au #drunken shenanigans #bad flirting #writing prompt #this spiraled out of control #cujo is the best noble steed a ghost can ask for #I love him #he deserves all the belly rubs #takes place between season 2 and 3 of YJ

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starker-sorbet · 10 months

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Tony and Peter trying to piece together the events of the previous night over their morning coffee after the pair drank a bit too much during their date. Most importantly they wanted to work out why they had woken up with their hands chained together. And where on earth they gotten the giant inflatable duck outside.

@starkerfestivals 2023 summer bingo fill: I2 - Drunken Shenanigans

card below

#starker #starkerfestivalsevents #SFSummerBingo23 #drunken shenanigans #moodboard #my moodboard

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ooachilliaoo · 3 months

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In All But Name - Never Have I ever

“You look bored as buggery.”

Behind the safety of his wine glass, Alistair grinned. It was nice to know that he’d gotten it right. Even if getting it ‘right’ in this case was mostly just allowing his own actual feelings to show on his face. A luxury that he rarely got to indulge in these days, but he was particularly glad of it today.

After all, there was only so much Orlesian opera a man could be expected to take.

It was a delicate thing, seeking an alliance with Orlais.

The older Fereldan lords and ladies, the ones who actually held the lands and titles, still remembered the occupation and, though thankfully none had shown Loghain levels of paranoia, they always seemed to think that, at any moment, the Orlesians might suddenly declare them a province and seek to oust them. Again.

Then again, the younger lords, the sons and daughters who stood to inherit said titles, rather… enjoyed certain excesses of the Orlesian court. To a point, of course. The licentiousness and general debauchery of the Orlesians was all well and good. But no self-respecting Fereldan would ever play ‘the Game’, or wear their fashions, or enjoy their opera.

Which was perfect, really. It meant that he’d been able to bring a number of the younger lords with him to Val Royeaux and he’d been able to look as bored as he felt at the opera. His own people would respect him for remaining quintessentially Fereldan enough to be bored by the spectacle, and the Orlesians would be able to point and titter about how terribly uncultured the king of the ‘Dog Lords’ was, so they could feel comfortably superior.

It was perfect.

Even better now that Lord Simon had seemingly arrived to alleviate said boredom.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually entertained by this,” he said, gesturing at the stage, currently empty for the interval.

Simon, predictably, scoffed. “Course not. But I did hear about an interesting drinking game the Orlesians play.” He held up a bottle of something that looked sweet, sticky, blue and – if he knew their hosts – likely very, very alcoholic. “Care to join?”

His immediate instinct was to accept without question. Anything – anything – to not have to endure the second half of ‘Mariners of Montsimmard’. But, after years of being King, he had learned not to act on his immediate instinct without first considering the implications.

In this instance there were several factors.

Read the rest on AO3

Read the full series here

#alistair theirin #dragon age origins #dragon age #Fanfic #king alistair #Alistair x Cousland #Alistair x Fem Warden #drunken shenanigans #I had SO much fun writing this #hope you all enjoy #sorry i've been gone a while #I had a lot of commitments over the holidays #hopefully this makes up for it

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rebelmeg · 6 months

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Wingmen and Airmen, Flirting and Flying

by rebelmeg

Chapters: 2/3 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Captain Marvel (2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Carol Danvers & Maria Rambeau, Carol Danvers/James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Maria Rambeau/Tony Stark Characters: James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Tony Stark, Maria Rambeau, Carol Danvers Additional Tags: First Meetings, Flirting, Banter, secret identity (but only a little bit), Tony and Carol are gonna flirt fit to set the floor on fire, but platonically, because Rhodey can't stop mooning at Carol, and Tony can't keep his eyes off Maria, Drunken Shenanigans, Hangover, Awesome Carol Danvers, Awesome Maria Rambeau, Tony and Rhodey both getting hot and bothered over two spectacular pilots Summary:

Tony and Rhodey are having a night out before an important Air Force/Stark Industries presentation in the morning. As it so happens, so are Maria and Carol... Except they know who they're talking to, while the boys have no idea that the ladies they're talking to tonight will be the same ones making their jaws drop tomorrow.

Chapter 2: Darts and Tequila and Pairing Up

Summary: Rhodey braces himself to make his move, Tony makes his, and last call comes as a surprise to everyone.

Notes: This chapter is for my @marvelrarepairbingo square N5 – best friends forever and my @tonystarkbingo square A5 – charming!

#rebelmeg's fanfic #marvel rare pair bingo #tonystarkbingomarkvii #mrpbingo #tsbmvii #james rhodes #rhodey #tony stark #carol danvers #maria rambeau #mit bros #pre-captain marvel #first meetings #drunken shenanigans #mcu #fanfic #rhodey/carol #tony/maria rambeau

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nuwildcat · 1 year

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Secret Santa Snippet!

It’s WIP Wednesday and I come to you all with an early gift (we can count this one for Hanukkah) it’s a super sized snippet of the Big/Tay fic that I am collaborating with @mortimerlatrice on! We’ve moved on to Chapter 3 which will be our final chapter and I’ve got a bit of shenanigans to share with you! Enjoy and keep your eyes peeled between Christmas and New Years for when we drop these three gifts!

“You weren’t really gonna give up on Tay with one failed date were you?”

Big goes silent, he’s not sure that another date would be welcome, and he’s aware that annoying Tay would be the worst thing he could do.

“Oh hell no,” Porsche says. “You have to go again, which is why we are going to apply a liberal amount of alcohol to the problem.” He pours them both a sizable helping of the, Big is pretty sure it’s bourbon.

They clink glasses before Big throws the entire thing back.

“Well okay then,” Porsche has never failed to rise to a challenge, and follows suit.

Three glasses later Big can feel the floating sensation in his head and a tingle in his fingers. The buzz is hitting his system quickly, which tells him that he’s going to be feeling it a lot more in a few minutes.

“So how bad was the food?” Porsche is giggling a bit as he asks. For a bartender that didn’t take long to get him tipsy.

Instead of answering he asks, “How are you tipsy already?”

“Shut up, I haven’t had anything to eat for like six hours. Kinn had to get up at an ungodly hour this morning.” Porsche pushes his shoulder lightly while scolding him. Big sways more than he expected in response.

“It was fucking terrible. I didn’t know what half the things on the menu were and then it came out in these tiny pretty plates that I didn’t know how to eat.” He can feel himself start to ramble.

“Right?” Porsche chimes in. “Like the names are bad enough but what are you supposed to do with gel and foam?”

“Yeah! Then the foam tasted like smoke and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. Oh gosh and the wine! I don’t even like wine, but this one was orange!”

Porsche blinks blearily while pouring them another glass, the bottle is over half empty. “Orange? It comes in orange? I thought it came in red and white.”

“You were a bartender shouldn’t you know?”

“Hmm,” Porsche’s response doesn’t tell him anything.

He doesn’t worry about it for long. “Orange and terrible. Bleh.”

Porsche cackles, “Was that the face you made when you tried it?”

“No!” He’s really starting to wobble now. “I was super mature and didn’t wince at all.” There take that Porsche.

“Oh sure,” Porsche nods sagely agreeing with him, as he should. “You didn’t flinch at all when you drank the weird orange wine.” Big is suddenly suspicious of Porsche’s agreement. “I bet, I bet you were a total wine conno,... condo,... nope, connousier. That’s the word.”

Big cant help but snort at his friend. “You’re drunk.”

“Yes I am! Which is why we should message Tay!” Porsche crows.

This sounds like an excellent idea. He’s wanted to message the man for a while now. Gosh, Tay is so pretty.

He must say this out loud because Porsche responds, “Yeah, he is and we all know you are gone on him, dude.”

“Well I think that just speaks to how good my taste is.” He’s not going to be sassed by this little shit.

“Kinda bossy though, you’ll have to watch out for that.”

“I kinda like that,” Oh shit, even his inebriated brain knows he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Porsche’s head whips to him and his eyes are very wide. “Well I guess you do like them bossy.”

What? Big’s brain can’t figure that one out. It must be clear on his face that he’s confused because Porsche elaborates.

“I mean you liked Kinn, who is the bossiest guy I know.” Big grimaces because he thinks that was a sex reference. “But Tay is bossy too. It’s just packaged as nice, not mean.” Definitely a sexual reference.

“Porsche, I do not want to know what you and Kinn do when you fuck like bunnies.”

Porsche flushes slightly and Big feels himself start to chuckle, it takes a lot to get under this man’s skin, he’s shameless. Porsche clears his throat and looks away causing Big to burst into full blown laughter.

“Oh shut up, you want a pretty little man to boss you around in bed.” Well that shuts him up quick because now his brain is supplying him with images. “Stop, stop it!” Porsche yells at him while whacking him with a throw pillow. Big goes back to laughing at his boss’s antics. “Filthy mind,” Porsche complains under his breath.

Big snorts, “You fucked a man in a bathroom last week. You have no room to talk.”

Porsche squints at him for a moment then says, “Point.” He refills Big’s glass and tops up his own, before looking at the almost empty bottle like he’s puzzled why it’s so empty. “So, how are you going to get Tay to go on a second date with you?”

Ugh, he’s drunk but is he this drunk? As he tips his head back the room spins, guess that answers his question. “I have no idea,” he can’t keep the defeated tone out of his voice.

“Nope! Nope, not an option. We are going compose the best text and send it to him.” This won’t end well but his brain is shut down for the day.

“What would we say?”

“Hmm,” Porsche pulls a very over the top thinking face, even tapping his chin with his finger. “Well maybe you should lead with the fact you want him to boss you around in bed.”

“Porsche!”

The menace cackles, “Okay, okay not that. But I think that would work!”

“If you’re going to be like that I’m leaving.” He goes to get up off the couch and just falls back down. Porsche keeps laughing, the asshole. “Do you have actual advise, or are you just jerking me around?”

“Honestly? I don’t have a whole lot of experience with this stuff.” Porsche shrugs.

“Really?” Big kind of always assumed Porsche was a bit of a player.

“Yeah, I hadn’t actually dated anyone before Kinn.” Big’s jaw drops. Hadn’t dated anyone? Even Big has managed that. “Wasn’t a whole lot of time with raising my brother and myself.” Porsche shrugs like it isn’t a big deal.

“Damn, you better make Kinn take you on more dates.” There now the other man is smiling again, that’s better. Big has no idea when he became invested in Porsche being happy. It just seems to make everything else easier when the man is.

“We are focused on getting you date right now. Hand it over.” He makes gimmy hands at Big until he forks over his phone. That is going to be a move he regrets.

They compose and scrap and compose some more until they have a masterpiece to send. They are both very proud of the final product. He sends it right away.

Waking up the next morning, which gosh, they started drinking at four in the afternoon, his head is throbbing. There’s someone curled up with their head in his lap, looking down he sees Porsche. The menace deserves to suffer with him, so he pushes him off the couch.

The thud of Porsche hitting the ground is followed by a groan of pain. Big squints against the light coming in from the windows and tries to swallow the need to vomit. His eyes hurt. What all did they drink last night?

He nudges Porsche with his foot as the other man hasn’t moved. “Get up,” his voice is wrecked.

“Noo,” Porsche whines, but he sits up all the same, he looks like shit, which means Big does too. He remembers something important happened last night but can’t figure out what.

The buzz of his cellphone brings everything back. FUCK. The text, what did he send to Tay? He scrambles to grab his phone stepping on Porsche who hasn’t gotten off the floor.

“Ouch,” the whine is truly pathetic. He frantically opens his texts to Tay and the first few words make him want to melt in embarrassment. He kicks Porsche to get his attention.

“I am never drinking with you again, or taking your advice,” he snipes, wanting to bury his burning face in his hands, but he has to read these texts.

The flowery apologies he can handle. He honestly feels like shit about how awkward the date was. The confession of his nerves was fine, it’s the rest.

Two paragraphs where he waxes poetic about how pretty Tay is and how that distracted him. A rant about orange wine, that he’s pretty sure Porsche wrote. Then the begging kicks in. Oh fuck the begging. He pleads for Tay to give him a second chance. Entreats the man to let him prove he can do better. Even mentions that he would be the best he could be for someone as pretty and amazing as Tay.

Eight messages later Big is nuclear red and would like to become one with the floor. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” he wants to strangle Porsche and his horrible ideas.

Porsche has been reading over his shoulder and snickering. The plus side is the way he’s clutching his head indicates he’s suffering as he does it.

The typing bubbles pops up as Tay is composing a response.

“Fuck, fuck,” Big bobbles the phone is his surprise just barely holding onto it. He’s in a full on panic and this point, holding his breath to see what Tay says.

#fic #secret santa #the Tay/Big agenda #in this house #we give Tay nice things #in this case it's big #Porsche is a menace #drunken shenanigans #wip wednesday

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acanadianmuggle · 3 months

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Rated T - oneshot - complete - 1461 words

Four times Harry and Ginny tried to get Hermione and Draco together, and one time they didn't.

#harry potter fanfiction #dramione #draco malfoy #hermione granger #archive of our own #fanfic #fluff #humour #drunken shenanigans #thestrals #Santiago drunk scale

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nextdoorginger · 10 months

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“not best friends” - a Sid/Sophie fic

Show: How I Met Your Father Relationships: Sid/Sophie Tompkins Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Word Count: 1,989 Summary: When Sophie gets a little too drunk at Pemberton’s, Sid decides to walk her home.

Some Sid/Sophie fluff for your Monday afternoon ❤️ You can read it on AO3 here!

#sid x sophie #sophie tompkins #sid #HIMYF #how i met your father #fanfic #ao3 #fic #pre-relationship #flirting #drunken shenanigans

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rawdickulousreturn · 1 month

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#happy st patricks day #st patricks day #st pattys day #st paddys day #ai men #ai generated #bar fight #bar brawl #drunk fight #drunken shenanigans

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trashyswitch · 1 year

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Liquor Makes the Tickles Happen

In the Fnafnations AU: Jeremy and Mike are getting drunk together, with Doll Schmidt being their 'babysitter' for the night. The whole evening turns into a roller coaster of emotions and silliness.

Warning: This fic shows drunken things happening. If you are triggered by the idea of drinking or someone getting drunk, then please click off now. Cause though this is fluffy drunkenness, seeing the type of alcohol could be enough to trigger a person. So please...keep this in mind, and either read on, or click off. I have millions more FNAF fanfics that DON'T involve drunkenness, so enjoy those instead.

This fanfic was suggested by an anonymous user! I hope you enjoy!

Jeremy and Mike were both chuckling and giggling like little toddlers, while Doll was keeping an eye on the two boys. They were drinking and hanging out together on both their days off. Mike had put down his shot glass a while ago, having downed 4 shots of the Laird’s Straight Apple Brandy™ already. And he was moderately drunk by this point. Jeremy had drank roughly the same amount, but is somewhat shorter than Mike. So if anything, Jeremy is the slightest bit more drunk than Mike. And Doll…well…

Doll’s the babysitter for this afternoon.

“Hey. Hey Jeremy. How many fingers am I holding up?” Mike asked, holding up both index fingers, both thumbs, both middle fingers and one pinky.

“Mmmmmmm…fffffive?” Jeremy asked.

Mike turned his wrists around and looked at his own fingers. “No, it’s 6!” Mike replied. “How could you not see that?”

Jeremy waddled himself up to Mike and grabbed his hands. “Lemme show you.” Jeremy said before trying to touch Mike’s thumb with his index finger. “Oooone.” He said, before moving onto Mike’s Index finger. “Twoooo.” He completely skipped the middle finger, and moved to Mike’s pinky. “Threeeee.”

“You skipped the middle finger.” Mike told him.

“The middle finger’s innnnappropriate.” Jeremy told him. “It’s ruuuude.” Jeremy whined.

Mike giggled and put up his middle finger. “You mean this?”

Jeremy stared at the middle finger…and looked at Mike with the most hurt, sad little look on his face. And then…He started wailing and crying. He covered up his face with his hands and sobbed loudly. “MIIIIIIIKE!” Jeremy whined before squeezing his eyes shut and crying.

Mike widened his eyes and looked at Jeremy with shocked eyes. He slowly lowered his middle finger down onto the fist. “....Shit.” He said. “Wait NO-”

Jeremy literally WAILED at an even higher octave upon hearing Mike swear. “DOOOOOOLL! MIIIKE’S SWEARIIING!” Jeremy cried, his cheeks quickly being drenched in tears.

“Come here, Jeremy. Come here.” She gently wrapped her arms around Jeremy and rubbed his back as he sobbed.

Doll looked at Mike with an angry glare. “Apologize to Jeremy.” She told him.

Mike widened his eyes. “What?!” Mike reacted. “But…But he-”

“But nothing! Apologize now.” Doll ordered.

Mike sighed. “I’m sorry I gave you the middle finger.” Mike told Jeremy.

Jeremy whined into her shoulder, trying to say something back, but utterly failing because of his mouth being shoved so deeply into her shoulder. “Mmm mmmfmmm mphhmmfmmfmmmphmm.” Jeremy kept whining.

Doll snorted and bursted out laughing. “Whohohoa! Dohohoes thahat mean you forgive him?!” Doll reacted.

“Mmphmmm! MmmfmmphmmmMphm?” Jeremy asked.

Doll was tittering at this point. “Your mumbling and whining is getting stupid hilarious.” Doll told him.

Mmmmphmmphmmm. Pfffbfbbfffbfbfbbb.” Jeremy blew a raspberry onto her shoulder, before throwing his head back and giggling.

Doll bursted out laughing. “DIhihid yohou just blow a raspberry on my shoulder?!” Doll reacted. “HAhahahaha! Whyhyhyhy?!” Doll asked next.

“Because I’mmm huuuumerus~” Jeremy said, poking Doll’s shoulder slightly too hard.

Mike facepalmed his forehead. “Goddammit.”

“Whaaat?” Jeremy turned around and walked up to Mike. “Can’t get to maaah level?” Jeremy asked.

Mike looked down at Jeremy. “You realize you’re 5ft 6, right?” Mike asked.

Jeremy blinked. “Wha?”

“And I’m 5ft 8?” Mike asked.

“Are ya now?” Jeremy asked.

“Yeah…I am.” Mike replied, as-a-matter-of-factly.

“I can make ya giggle like a gorilla.” Jeremy said with a smirk. “Or…”

Mike closed his eyes. “Don’t.”

“A…” Jeremy kept going.

“Don’t you dare.” Mike warned.

“...G-Giggle-rilla?” Jeremy said with an overly enthusiastic smile.

Doll sighed and rubbed her nose.

“First of all…Gorilla’s don’t laugh.” Mike told him.

“Aaare you surrrrre?” Jeremy asked, wiggling his fingers at Mike. “Cause I think this gorilla doesssss~” Jeremy teased.

Mike yelped and backed up. “Jeremy, think of what you’re doing.” he warned.

“Oh come on, Mike. Every gorilla loves to laugh! Everybody knows that!” Doll teased. “Speaking of laughing, go for the belly button or the neck. His neck is SUPER ticklish.” Doll added.

“DOLL!” Mike yelled.

“What?! It’s true!” Doll put her hands up for mercy.

Jeremy looked at Doll. “Ahand how do you know alllll that? Have youuu tickled him there before?” He asked.

Doll rolled her eyes. “Yes, I have. For years now.” She told him.

“Wait…years?” He clarified. “H-How long have you two been married again?” Jeremy asked.

Doll raised an eyebrow with a smirk. “You don’t remember our wedding?” Doll asked, looking at Mike and winking. Jeremy thought for a moment…and then widened his eyes. “OH YEAH! I do nooow! You were so pretty in your dreeeeess!” Jeremy reacted. “And Mikie over here-” Jeremy walked up and grabbed Mike’s middle, pulled Mike closer to his own chest before uncovering and wiggling a finger into Mike’s belly button. “He looked SOOO handsome in his suuuiit!” Jeremy teased.

Mike wheezed and hung his head down laughing almost right away. “DUHUHUHUDE! Whahat ahare you tahahalking abohohout!?” Mike asked.

“That beauuuutiful suit! With the flower bouquet right about heeeeere.” Jeremy told him, moving his tickling finger up to poke the right side of his chest. “And the navy blue suit! With-With the tie custom-made from a lay-layered piece of Doll’s dreeesss!” Jeremy teased before tickling his belly button again. “I wish Iiii had thaaaat.” Jeremy said, giggling.

Mike laughed and shook his head. “Whahahat ahahare yohou-” Mike SCREAMED as he felt someone blow a raspberry onto his neck. “JEHEHEREMYYYYY!” Mike shouted.

“Whaaaat? Ihihi dihid nothing!” Jeremy reacted, sounding quite genuine.

“Actually Mike…” Doll wrapped her arms around the far side of his neck and whispered something into his ear. Then, she removed her face from his ear. “It was me who blew that raspberry.” She told Mike proudly.

“Yeheah! Why’re you out blamin’ meee?”Jeremy asked.

“Ihihi dihihidn’t knohow Doll was thehehere.” Mike admitted.

“I was just too quiet for Mike’s old ears to hear.” Doll teased.

Mike looked at Doll. “What are you talking about?! I’m two years older than you- PFFFFTAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha! NOHOHO- GAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHO RAHAHASPBEHeheheherries!” Mike shouted, unable to curl his neck.

“Is Mikie-Wikie too tickwish?” Jeremy asked, poking the spot on Mike’s neck that Jeremy had just blown into.

“YEHEHEHESS!” Mike yelled back, shaking his head wildly while pulling and struggling to get out of the clutches of the drunk tickle monster.

“And does Mikie-Wikie wike de tickles?” Doll asked, before blowing the next raspberry.

“Yehes- I-MEAN-NOOO! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Mike cackled, hanging his head again.

Jeremy gasped and squealed like a little kid. “You like it?! Like, you-you actually like it?!” Jeremy asked.

“He loves it! Always has! He’s actually asked me to tickle him before.” Doll told him.

“HE HAS?!” Jeremy reacted.

“Yes! And YOU KNOW he likes it when he’s actually asking for it.” Doll added.

“YOHOHOU TWOHOHO ARE SOHOHO MEHEHEHEHEHEAN!” Mike yelled at them.

“I know. Aren’t I a mean, evil buwwy?” Jeremy teased.

“YEHEHES! YOHOHOU AHAHARE!” Mike yelled back.

Jeremy rolled his eyes and blew another raspberry onto his neck.

Mike SCREAMED and bursted out cackling right away. “AAAAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha! Plehehehehease!” Mike begged.

Doll looked at Mike with slight worry. “Do you need a break?” Doll asked.

Mike nodded as his giggles grew more high-pitched and squeaky.

Jeremy and Doll backed up a bit, taking their hands off Mike and letting him breathe again. He breathed somewhat heavily as he tried to recover again. “Thahank you. Thank you.” He said.

“No problem, sweetheart.” She replied.

“No biggie, Mikie!” Jeremy replied happily.

Mike looked up at Jeremy and Doll with a wide smile. He let out a breath. “Alright. I’m ready now. Again!” Mike declared.

“Again? Already?!” Doll reacted.

Jeremy dropped his jaw. “Wait-…But how?!” He asked. “That wasn’t ev’n two minutes! You’re already ready for more?!” Jeremy asked.

“Yeah! Here: I’ll make it easier on you two.” Mike laid himself down onto the carpet and opened his arms up. “Okay. Now I’m ready.” Mike told him.

Doll bursted out laughing at Mike’s persistence. Jeremy just squealed like a little girl again, and happily danced his fingers all over Mike’s belly.

Mike jumped and arched his back, unintentionally bringing his belly closer to Jeremy.

“Why thank you for the help, Mike! But I think I can reach your belly on mah own.” Jeremy teased before sticking his tongue out between his teeth.

“Shuhuhuhush.” Mike whined, covering up his face with his hands.

“Awww! You’re getting all reeeed! I can eeeeven see some blushy red all over your bewwy!” Jeremy teased, lifting up his shirt to show him the slight redness to Mike’s belly.

Mike yelped. “Red?! On my belly?!” Mike asked, sitting up to cover up his belly.

“...Well if you cover up your belly, no one will be able to see it.” Jeremy told him.

“Good!” Mike replied.

“Good?! Do you realize how cruel you’re being?!” Jeremy asked.

“I’m not being cruel. I’m being protective.” Mike told him.

“And here I thought you wanted to be tickled.” Doll teased.

“I do, but…but-”

Jeremy gently tackled Mike’s upper body back down to the carpet and uncovered Mike’s belly. Jeremy held Mike’s hands above his head, before the brown-haired boy blew a raspberry onto Mike’s belly.

“Wait WAIT- OHOHOHOHO NOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHA!” Mike shouted.

“A bit ticklish~?” Jeremy teased.

“YOHOHOU KNOHOHOW THIHIHIS!” Mike yelled back.

“Yeah…I dooo.” Jeremy teased before stopping and letting go of him. Mike covered up his face with his hands all over again, and curled up into the fetal position. But a few seconds later, Mike uncovered one of his eyes by moving two of his fingers apart. “Are…Aren’t you gonna do something?” Mike asked.

Doll and Jeremy both busted a gut laughing at Mike’s genuine, tiny response.

“Yohohou ahahare suhuch a goofy meatball!” Jeremy yelled.

Doll’s cackles went up another octave. “SAHAYS THE ONE WHO THOUGHT WE WERE MARRIED!” Doll yelled.

Jeremy giggled, before looking at Doll with shock. “Wait, what?!” Jeremy asked.

“Just because you have memories of a wedding, doesn’t mean it was my wedding.” Doll told him.

Jeremy blinked as he stared at Doll. He looked at Mike desperately for clarification.

“We haven't gotten married yet. We’re still in the dating stage.” Mike told him.

“B-But the-” Jeremy sat himself down, in shock by the whole thing. “B-B-But- You two are so PERFECT together!” Jeremy whined.

“We’re just…not at that stage yet, Jeremy.” Mike told him.

Doll looked down for just a second, before smiling. “Not quite yet. But we don’t plan on breaking up anytime soon either.” She said.

“......Okay.” He said somewhat sadly. “I’m sorry…” He mumbled.

Mike shook his head and hugged him. “It’s okay. We find it funny, actually. And we know you’re gonna find it funny when you’re hung over and sober.” Mike told him.

Jeremy giggled. “And you’re also gonna find it funny when I tell you how excited you were about me and Doll tickling you again.” Jeremy teased, poking his chest.

“Now now, don’t make me tickle you back.” Mike warned.

“Ooooh! Is Jeremy ticklish? Spill the tea!” Doll asked.

“Oh! I’ll gladly spill!” Mike started skittering his fingers in his armpits. “Armpits are a-”

“BAHAHAHAHAAAA! EEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE NOHOHOHO!” Jeremy shouted loudly.

“...Very ticklish spot.” Mike finished. “And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! Do you wanna help me?” Mike asked his girlfriend.

Doll proudly walked up and knelt down. “I would love to.” She said before blowing a raspberry onto Jeremy’s covered belly.

“OHOHOHO NOHOHOHOHOHO! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Jeremy yelled.

Doll laughed and shook her head. Another tickle fight starts up by the mostly drunk trio. But Doll knows they all needed it. Work is stressful…especially when your boss and his creations are trying to kill you every shift. But being able to get moderately drunk and just have fun, has become a huge blessing from god himself.

So please, let the tickle fights continue!

______________

Also...I want to say something: Today is the 3rd anniversary of starting up my Tumblr account. And MY GOD, DID IT GROW. I still can't believe that on January 14, 2020...3 years ago...I had decided to make this Tumblr account to open up my fanfics to a bigger audience. And now 3 years later, I will reveal what I was doing when I made it:

I was sitting on the toilet, taking a shit and reading my earliest Jacksepticeye Egos fanfics on my phone. And...I decided that going to Tumblr, would greatly help me open up to the tickle community! They say the best thoughts come when you're alone, stuck on the toilet, and contemplating life. But...I DID NOT EXPECT THIS ACCOUNT TO GET THIS BIG! I'm almost at 900 followers!!! I- I don't understand. And I probably never will.

So...know that this person was literally shitting while making the well-known Tumblr account known as TrashySwitch.

And let the shitposting on this fact, commence!

#fluffy drunk stories #silly #drunken shenanigans #ticklefic #ler!doll #switch!mike #switch!jeremy #fnafnations au

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laniuchiha7 · 1 year

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Inebriated Shenanigans

If you were to ask Sakura which two people she’d never want to see drunk together; it would be her boyfriend and her master.

Those two already have strong and dominating personalities, which only persisted in their alcohol infused state. Only they became…more sloppy.

Tsunade was more of an angry drunk whereas Sasuke was an emotional one.

“You don’t deserve her,” Tsunade spat at Sasuke after downing another shot.

He scoffed, “You think I don’t know that??”

“All you’re good for is running away when your emotions get the better of you.”

How these two managed to be such lightweights was beyond Sakura’s knowledge. She was sandwiched between the two, sitting at the counter of a local bar, desperately wanting this night to be over. The former Hokage attempted to refill her small glass, only for the bottle to be empty, much to Sakura’s delight.

“We need another,” Tsunade beckoned to the owner.

“Um…we’re sorry to say this,” the poor man mumbled. “But we’re cutting your group off.”

Thank goodness, Sakura sighed with relief.

Shooting him an icy glare, Tsunade gave him a “hmph.”

“I love Sakura and I have no intentions of leaving her anymore,” Sasuke firmly told her. He grabbed his girlfriend and pulled her into him, almost causing her to fall off her seat in the process.

“And if she was smart she’d dump you.”

“Tsunade-shishou!” Her student protested. “Can't you two get along? For me?” Sakura asked, glancing between the two of them.

The two glared at each other, over her pink head.

“I might have a solution,” Tsunade smirked. She pulled two dice out of her pocket. Sakura already knew where this was going. “If I win then she dumps you. If you win you can keep her.”

Oh so I’m a prize now? Sakura rolled her eyes.

“You’re on,” the Uchiha hiccuped.

“Sasu-“ she tried to protest.

“Sakura,” he pressed his index finger to her lips to hush her. “I’m about to fight for your honor. If I don’t make it back alive, I want you to know that-“

“Are we doing this or not?” Tsunade sharply cut him off.

It was a game of even or odds, they would keep going until either of them won a round.

Tsunade was notorious for losing every bet. Sasuke on the other hand would most likely cheat, but the real question was; could he, in this drunken state of his?

The game didn’t even last one round, before they were kicked out for the bar to close. Well it was a week night after all and Sakura wasn’t going to complain.

Shizune had been nearby and took Tsunade home, leaving Sakura with the barely conscious Sasuke. Trying her best, she carried him back to their shared apartment.

“Sakura,” he mumbled when they walked through the entrance.

“Yes?” she asked, still annoyed with him and her teacher.

“She’s right,” he hiccuped. “I don’t deserve you.” Turning so she could face him, Sakura looked at his red flushed face while he stared at the floor. “You should just break up with me.”

Sakura put her hands on his warm cheeks, causing him to lock eyes with her. “I’ve been in love with you for almost 10 years,” she reminded him. “I would never break up with you.”

He attempted to lean down, but ended up stumbling over, causing them both to hit the hard floor. Sasuke landed on top of her, his head against her soft mounds. She brushed her fingers through his dark locks.

“Can you get off of me?”

“Too comfortable,” he nuzzled his face into her chest.

She sympathetically smiled at him. “Could we at least move to the bed?”

Sakura waited for a response, but his steady breathing was an indication that he had fallen asleep.

#sssnippetaday #sasusaku #sasuke uchiha #sakura haruno #blank period #tsunade #drunken shenanigans

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