#scenes that exist just for meeeeee (real) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noirvette · 1 year

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WE NEVER EXISTED

[band smau]

[FIFTEEN]

masterlist.

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Note: haha... it's a long one guys..

The concert had ended and you couldn't help but think it was the most fun night of your life. South Park certainly knew how to draw in a crowd and give a band their best experience ever. Endorphins running through your body at an all time high, you felt happy, light, floaty in a way. Like nothing could ever tear you down.

"What a night!" Clyde exclaimed, tossing his drumsticks in the air, doing some random juggling routine with them.

Nichole hummed a noise of agreement, "Right! I don't think I've seen so many people of South Park in one place before."

Everyone nodded at Nichole's statement.

"Well, I for one am beat," Stan sighed out, before taking a sip of his water, "I don't think I've sang that many high notes in my life before in one concert."

"You did a good job bro," Kyle slapped his hand on Stan's back, rubbing his shoulder a bit, "You all did."

Clyde stared at the scene in front of him before turning to you mouth open wide in shock before looking back at Stan and Kyle, "Oh my god they're making out in front of us guys!"

You stifled your laugh as Stan turns to Kyle make obnoxious kissing noises towards him, "Style will be real in 10 seconds."

Kyle scoffed and turned to find a place to sit down and Stan threw his arms around Kyle's waist, "NOOOO babe don't leave meeeeee."

"Oh my god you weirdo," Kyle rolled his eyes in mock annoyance, "Fine, fine I'll sit with you, scooch over."

Stan does so and Kyle sits besides him, "Well we've got some downtime before the truck guys come to grab our equipment, what do you guys wanna do?"

"FOOD. OH FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING PRECIOUS TO ME, CAN WE PLEASEEEE ORDER SOME FOOD!!" Clyde falls to his knees, begging.

Kyle took his phone out opening DoorDash, "Yeah I'm feelin hungry myself, what you guys want? I'll start a group order but you all owe me back."

You patted your pocket, "Oh wait where's my phone?"

Kyle's face briefly shows one of panic, "I uh, put it on the charger you left it and I found it dead.. so I plugged it in for you."

"Oh! Thanks Kyle."

"No problem, I'll just pay for you for tonight."

Clyde scoffs, "What is THIS Kyle Broflovski? You pay for our dear bassist but not for your lovely Clyde THE Donovan?"

"Clyde."

"This is like........instrumentalism..Do you just like bassists? Do you hate drummers?"

Nichole looks up in confusion, giving Clyde a side eye, "That.. is definitely NOT a word meant for that use smart ass."

"Uh huh, it sure is, don't change the topic though Nicky.. the important thing here is that no one is paying.. for ME!"

Kyle sighs, "Clyde."

"Uh.. I'm not finished yet," Clyde holds a finger up, "As I was saying, why don't you pay for me too! Do you just hate me, Kyle? I thought we were besties..."

If emoticons could be used as tones... you swear Clyde would sound like exactly like the sad emotion right now.

"Clyde." Kyle tries again.

"Oh my god can you let me do what I need to do?" Clyde frowns in fake irritation.

"Did..are you quoting Tyler the Creator right now? Seriously?" Stan asks.

"Yeah."

You snort at Clyde's antics and Kyle rubs his eyes, "Dude.. You can pay for yourself.. your phone is right there.. and CHARGED. You literally just got an angry birds notification."

Clyde turns around and sure enough his phone sat lit up with an angry birds notification sitting on his home screen, "Oh well this is awkward.. but still! It's the principle of things.."

Before Kyle could utter another word, Clyde continues, "BUT! I'll let you off the hook.. I'll pay for myself; you win this time.. Kyle Matthew Broflovski.."

"NOT THE FULL NAME." Stan bursts out laughing hard and Kyle sits there with his head in his hands, face covered in a slight blush from embarrassment.

Nichole, having tuned the conversation out and scrolling on DoorDash herself, pipes up with, "Does Burger King sound alright? It's either that or McDonalds and I'd rather not have them again tonight."

"Sounds good with me!" You chirp and the other three give their own mentions of agreement.

Kyle sends the link out and then gets up to sit beside you, "What would you like?"

"Hmm.." You lean in to get a better look at his phone and Kyle stiffens a bit before handing his phone to you.

"Thanks," You add your order in and hand the phone back to him, "Hey Kyle do you think my phone's charged by now?"

Kyle hums briefly and without thinking says, "Yeah should be."

"Oh great, where is it?"

He pauses briefly, having realized what he said, "Uhhh... You know.. I'm not sure where I plugged it in, give me a second to place the order if everyone would FINISH," He gives Stan a harsh side eye who just shrugs in return, "And I'll help you look."

Nichole frowns and gives you a glance and you catch it and just shrug, "Alright works with me, just as long as my phone is still here and someone didn't take it.. because you'd be owing me a new phone mister."

Kyle places the order and stands up, "Yup, I know.. That's why I'm hoping it's still here myself. Alright well lets go find it."

Kyle starts walking off towards the trailers and you follow, the other three look at each other and immediately start gossiping once you two are out of ear shot.

"Alright, what the hell is going on between those two?" Nichole asks.

Stan shrugs, "Hell if I know, suddenly they just became like that!" Stan snaps his fingers.

"Okayy.. well they've always been relatively close, I mean not as close as recently but, they've always had an easier connection." Clyde points out.

"Right and this is Y/n we're talking about.. she wouldn't be stupid enough to cheat on Kenny right?" Stan questions and Nichole shakes her head.

"No, that girl is dedicated to him, she wouldn't dream of doing that to Kenny."

Clyde sits for a minute, thinking, "Well what if Kyle's manipulating her? To like fall in love with him? I mean he's liked her since.. how long now?"

Stan looks over at Clyde incredulously, "Dude! That's my best friend you're dissing right now and absolutely not, Kyle isn't that kind of guy."

Clyde shrugs, "Hey bro I was just throwin ideas out there."

"Yeah, shitty ones."

Nichole chimes in, trying to break the random argument that's about to start, "Uh guys."

"I don't hear any genius ideas coming from YOU, Stanley Randall William Marsh."

"WHY ARE YOU SAYING OUR FULL NAMES LIKE THIS." Stan raises his voice in exasperation.

"Cuz it's funny." Clyde simply states.

"Uhhh... Guys?" Nichole says with more urgency.

"Yes Nichole?" Clyde turns to look at her, batting his eyelashes.

"Have.. you two seen twitter?"

You turn to ask Kyle, "You sure you left it in here?"

Kyle scratches his neck and looks around the trailer room, "Yeah, it should be here."

"No it's not." You sigh.

"What?"

"You have a thing, you scratch your neck and refuse to make eye contact when you're hiding the truth."

"A...thing?" Kyle asks confused.

"Yeah like a tell, people have these quirks about them that they do.. when they're lying or if they're happy or you know something like that."

Kyle still stares at you with slight confusion, "And... mine is scratching my neck and refusing to make eye contact?"

You nod, "Yeah.. pretty much."

"So you're calling me a liar?"

"I'm not calling you a truther."

"Don't," Kyle holds a hand up, "Quote Drake and Josh when you're accusing me of lying."

You cross your arms annoyed, "I'm not accusing you of lying I'm stating you're not telling me the truth right now... about MY phone no less."

Kyle sighs in defeat, "Okay.. You got me, but Y/n, sit down."

"Wha?" You start.

"Please."

"Wow, okay.." You slowly start to sit down and Kyle sits down at the couch across from you, "What is this about.?"

Kyle bites his lip and refuses to meet your gaze, "Y/n.. I.."

"Oh my god," You nervously chuckle, "You're scaring me, Kyle."

Kyle runs a hand through his hair and stares at the ground, you can see his jaw is clenched.

He looks back up at you and wordlessly fishes your phone out of his back pocket and slides it over to you.

"You had it? Kyle what the he.." You trail off, meeting his gaze. His eyes tell you that he's nervous.. that he's serious.. and that he's sad.

You swallow nervous again.. you can feel the mood change in the room, really you think it changed a while ago but your nonchalance about the reality of whatever is happening prevented you from fully noticing it.

You're not sure what to be thinking, thoughts run through your mind at the speed of 120 miles per hour. Complete worry stains your body and covers you in a blanket of fear.

"Y/n." Kyle starts, in a full serious tone.

"...Yeah?" You answer apprehensively.

"Kenny's cheating on you. I found out during the set."

White noise. White noise filled your ears, the room was so silent that you could literally hear the noise of dust settling around you.. at least you thought you could. What you could be hearing is the blood draining from your head or is it the blood rushing to your head?

Your heart beats faster and you're pretty sure to Kyle you look as if you just had a heart attack. Frozen in shock... frozen in.. dread? You're not sure what to feel.

Your throat is dry, your mouth is dry, "How..? Who..?" You croak out.

"The podcast earlier released it, it uh, was Red.. They've been together since right after we left for our tours."

"Oh- Oh my god I'm going to be sick." You gasp out.

Kyle instinctively wraps his arms around your body, holding you tight. You know that if you were standing, you'd have collapsed onto the ground. He rubs circles into your back and rubs his hands along your sides to comfort you.

You can also feel Kyle whisper in your ear comforting phrases, at least you'd assume it's comfort. You can't hear anything, the shock of the situation hitting you even harder now you know everything.. or at least everything you need to know.. everything you want to know.

You can't feel tears.. you're not sure why, maybe a part of you expected this... no, no how could you ever expect something like this? Your body is in a catatonic state. You feel sick yet you feel fine. Almost as if your body is fighting itself in a way that you don't know how to deal with.

You feel hollow.. empty.. like someone just ripped a half of you away with no explanation as to why. Except you HAD an explanation.. a horrible, awful, shitty, excruciatingly painful explanation.

You hear the trailer door open and a few gasps, before feeling three pairs of arms circle your body. You felt cold, you felt numb, you felt broken. But above all?

You felt alone.

TAGLIST: @captivq @kimiesstuff @bwljules @the-cooler-kira @1one1person1 @kenny-the-ken @neenieweenie @n0tangeliccc @frogindisguise @revzxn @ryenwritess @mirophobic @gonefiishiing @musiclovebot @bootsieboo @bonez4brainz @s0l4riss @1996kj @sweetadonisbutbetter @scinclaitnoir @okarigold

#we never existed series #south park x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #kyle broflovski x reader

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redoqs · 2 years

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Redoqs sometimes I worry about myself Idk how I end up playing sad games but rdr2 should not have been that sad like why tf they kill all my Homies wtfff

I’m real live crying over this game because why meeeeee I just wanted to be a damn cowboy but nawwww Micah fat head ass always want to do shit like damn bro and it’s forever fuck Dutch cause how tf you let a blonde mf manipulate you they gave my man Arthur tuberculosis like he did NOT deserve that

poor Lenny they didn’t give my man a cut scene whe he died like the gang went downhill when hosea died I can’t even stay on topic and then I just found edits on my fyp like idk what’s going on but something ain’t right

especially because literally half of them didn’t get a happy ending it was death death death glad my girl tilly made it out tho a couple of the women and maybe two men survived the game like is there no such thing as happy endings anymore wtf

I also cut it so you could yk read it better but back on topic I do NOT recommend playing that game and do not get attached to them characters why half of the characters I was attached to either left the camp or died like HELLO Something ain’t right redoqs

When I catch rockstar I myself will be fighting my damn horse died like what the fuck did she do I do like how you can see Dutch being manipulated and a fucking idiot during the game tho like he wants revenge and shit

Bro Dutch was a dumb leader he fucked up his camp just to be manipulated by the man who was betraying him poor Arthur I want a damn refund for this fuck ass game hurting my feelings and all that

If I spelled something wrong sorry I’m just ranting yk and I’m kinda excited about the game tho

*me, who has only just started rdr2, reading all this* I guess I don’t need to finish the game then! Bro only amazing games can get you crying and ranting like this so it sounds like rdr2 is an amazing game! Happy endings simply don’t exist in a world like that smh rip to the homies. Aye, when you get your hands on rockstar, ask them what’s the eta on gta 6. Not rushing them just wanna know what stage they at. So Arthur doesn’t live? What’s the point of playing the game then??? I don’t mind the rant, dw!

#I’m not concerned with spoilers lmfao the game’s been out for years now #anon #redoqs rambles

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eisehaus · 4 years

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Music is never the same after Obey Me. A Headcanon story...

Every song starts playing through as a scenario in your head. Which character is singing it, what's happening for this to take place? Now for this headcanon journey I would like to share this song...

Ruin My Life -- by Zara Larsson

youtube

Everytime I hear this song I can't help but have the following scene play through my mind. So I decided to write out the headcanon.

MC is female for this story--

Now let's set the scene. MC was a bartender and part time singer in a local band where she's from that does shows at dive bars before her time in the Devildom. Upon returning to the human world, she finds her way back into her old job. It was an easy enough position to regain, no one even questioned her disappearance for a year. It was a come and go scene after all.

After some time, MC is also able to reconnect with her old band mates to rejoin the fray and once again find the stage. The band books their first gig after the split from MC's disappearance at the bar she works at.

She's excited to get back on stage, her heart was desperately hurting after her departure from the Devildom. Song was her way of coping with everything that she kept bottled up inside. She'd written a new song that the band adored and was eager to debut.

They had seen how she was during rehearsal, knowing that the number came from her soul, telling a story they could FEEL. MC had the tendency to leave her heart on the stage. It was part of what made her so captivating.

The band is setting up about ready to begin their reunion debut performance for the small yet crowded dive bar.

And we begin---

Bandmate: MC, you sure about this? It's been a while after all. But we are glad you're back!

MC: *nods her head earnestly.* Definitely. My heart needs this.

Bandmate: Damn honey, I'm not sure what happened to you while you were away for you to write our opening song but I have to say, it's powerful. Maybe you can tell us eventually about the guy who broke your heart that no doubt was the inspiration.

MC: *remembering the demon brothers* Yeah maybe someday I'll tell you guys the story. It's quite the tale. *Then she giggles to herself as she grips at her chest*

Other Bandmate: *puts a hand on MC's shoulder* Well what do you say we rock this joint?

*The band steps out on to stage and MC approaches the mic*

MC: *looking out over the crowd* Good evening! How is everyone doing tonight?

Crowd: WHOO HOO!! YEAH!!

MC: Now that's what I like to hear! Some of you might know us, *whistles sound from the crowd which makes MC grin* so we're here to say, we're back bitches!! This first song is brand new, enjoy! *Turns to the band* HIT IT!

*The music begins and MC can feel herself melting into the melody. All the pain, all the ache, all the love, radiated from her core and tingled out to her fingertips. Her cue approaches and she brings the mic to her lips*

MC: I miss you, pushing me clooose to the edge --- I miss you... I wish I knew what I had when I left --- I miss you...

*She could feel her song consuming her and she leaned into that urge, letting it drive her*

MC: You set fire to my wooorld, couldn't handle the heat -- Now I'm sleeeeping alone, and I'm staaarting to freeze -- Baby, come bring me hell, Let it raaain over me -- Baby, come back to me --

*Images of her time in the Devildom started flashing behind her eyelids. Each and every precious moment dancing through her mind as she sang. She moved into such power as the chorus cued in, her voice and heart seeming to swallow the room*

MC: I want you to ruin my life -- You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah -- I want you to fuck up my nights, yeah -- Fuck up my nights, yeah, all of my nights, yeah -- I want you to bring it all on, If you make it all wrong, then I'll make it all right, yeah --I want you to ruin my life, You to ruin my life, you to ruin my liiiife!!

*The room disappeared around her as she let her emotions bleed out into the microphone. Tears begin to form in her eyes, though not enough yet to leave them as she opens into the second verse*

MC: I miss you, more than I thooought that I could -- I miss you... I know you missin' me too like you shoooould -- I miss you...

*Her chest grows tight, as her hearts pounds with such vigor... it's as if it's trying to leap out of her and burst*

MC: You set fire to my wooorld, couldn't handle the heat -- Now I'm sleeeeping alone, and I'm staaarting to freeze -- Baby, come bring me hell, Let it raaain over me -- Baby, come back to me --baby, come back to meeee

*As the second chorus sounds in, MC removes the mic from the stand and let's the passion take her body. The entire stage is hers now and she bellows out, becoming truely and completely captivating.*

*Then the cue for the bridge approaches in the melody and the tears begin to fall from her eyes, trailing down her cheeks*

MC: I miss you, I miss yooooou -- I wish you, I wish yooooou -- Would come back, would come back to meeeee -- Come back to me, come back to meeeeee

*For just a moment before the last chorus begins, MC glances out across the crowd. She could swear she could see seven familiar forms looming at the back of the room. But between the stage lights, the tears in her eyes and the music enveloping her she couldn't be sure. It, wasn't... possible*

*She brushes it off and let's the music recapture her, commanding the stage and the crowd for the closing chorus. Her bandmate chimes in on another microphone to sing the regular part of the chorus while MC takes to the overlaying power notes in harmony.*

*She finishes the lyrics with her head back bellowing the final note, and drops her hand as the music finishes trailing out. The crowd cheers loudly, whistles and clapping all layering over each other. But she swears there are a handful of voices among the cheers that sound, familiar...*

*MC brings her head back up to throw a huge smile out to the crowd and takes a deep bow. When she raises her head again, her heart stops. She hadn't been seeing things....*

*She replaces the mic on the stand and quickly turns back around to her bandmates. They were beeming at her, clearing proud of everything that had just happened.*

MC: I need you guys to switch up the next number and do one without me.

Bandmate: Wait what? What happened? Are you okay?

MC: *glances behind her to the back corner of the room just to double check before turning back to her band* only the greatest possible thing imaginable!

Bandmate: You mean he's here!?!

MC: *nods with visible excitement* Mmhmm! They all are!

Bandmate, confused: wait, ALL?

*The band members eyes follow to where MC had just looked and each of them nearly drop their instruments*

Bandmate: Holy god damn mother fucking shit MC!!! How in the fucking hell? How are guys that look like that even real?? Shit! And they're here for you? You really mean --

MC: *smiles the biggest smile at her bandmates* I'll be right back, I promise! Just do one song with out me, I have some men to tackle!

*And with that MC bounds off the stage, pushing through a confused crowd to leap into the arms of her favorite beings in existence, the absolute loves of her short, sweet, weird little life*

The demon brothers: Hello MC... We missed you too.

FIN

Do you have a song that plays through an Obey Me filter in your head? Let me know!

#obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons #obey me hc #obey me shall we date #obey me fandom #obey me mc #obey me main character #life through an obey me filter #music through an obey me filter #ruin my life #zara larsson #Youtube

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aspaceformyself · 5 years

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Upside down; Chapter 5

Note: I didn’t really think I was going to continue writing this anytime soon. I fell into a bad slump and was also too much of a coward to keep going. I somehow picked up enough courage tho. To continue writing, to continue this. Probably because, this series entangles with a lot of my own personal struggles and I really want to find a way to help myself through this. I hope this courage stays long enough to finish writing this.

Chapter 4 - Chapter 6

His first date with Yuuri involved sneaking out at 3 AM in the early hours to get an ice cream. She called it an adventure and threw a wink along his way. Namjoon blushed so hard he prayed the pink was not visible on his face. Wait, wait, wait, did he just call this a date? Well, at least, that’s what he told himself in his head. After an exhausting day of rehearsals and practice sessions, sneaking out in the dead of the night for an ice cream was not how Namjoon expected his day to end. But hey, it was Yuuri who offered, and he found no reason to say no. More than offered, she just dragged him along with her impromptu plan.

“Man! This feels so good!” She exclaimed throwing her arms around. It was a windy early hours of dawn. The sky is still a blanket of thick dark blue velvet with occasional stars decorated here and there. Namjoon pulled his hoodie further around him as he felt the chill in the air prickle his skin.

“Aren’t you cold Yuuri?” He called out to the girl gleefully skipping in front of him.

“Hm? No”, She said simply, now bouncing, “I can’t tolerate hot weathers, but I can, any amount of cold”.

Namjoon giggled, “I don’t like hot weathers too but then again I’m not a huge fan of cold either”.

“You like it neutral then?”

“Maybe, but I like it when it’s windy, you know, like the atmosphere right before it’s about to rain?”

“Oh! I love that weather too! I actually have a special kind of romantic pining for it!”

“A romantic pining huh?”

“Yes! Especially the smell of soil when it starts to drizzle!”

“I feel you girl, I feel you”.

They fell into a comfortable silence after this into the quiet of the streets around them. Namjoon liked this. He liked how easy his conversations flowed with her now. Not that they didn’t before but he could really feel something change between them. Perhaps it was their conversation a few days ago or perhaps it was the fact that they exchanged numbers now, Namjoon could feel Yuuri’s demeanour around him slightly change. He felt like she opened a small peephole in the barrier she usually surrounds herself with. But a peephole is all it is and Namjoon was still grateful, sizing every opportunity to completely crack her open, figure her out, figure out what about her has him so enthralled that he’s impulsively treading on a path whose end he can’t see.

“I doubt any store would be open at this hour Yuuri”, He sighed almost after 15 minutes of aimless walking.

“Wait and watch”, was all Yuuri said and threw another wink at him. Namjoon lost himself for a moment again but jolted right out of his dreams when he felt her slender fingers circle around one of his wrists and within seconds she was tugging him away into a narrow lane, up a slope. It took awhile for Namjoon to process the change in his surroundings. They were no longer in the posh/ urban cut of the city but a sort of small townish lane. He certainly didn’t expect a place like this to exist in the area he lives. It was a surprise. After treading along the slope, Yuuri stopped in front of a small parlour.

“Wow….” Namjoon awed as he took a bite of his chocolate flavoured ice cream.

“It’s good right!” Yuuri exclaimed, her eyes twinkling as she dug into her own coffee and chocolate mix of ice cream.

“It is!” Namjoon said taking another spoonful into his mouth.

“How did you know about this place?” He asked, still delighted over his ice cream.

“Well”, Yuuri just shrugged, “I found this place about a week ago”.

“Oh”, Namjoon took her answer and didn’t think more of it before he caught her eyeing at him, her expression, a mixture of both mischief and guilt.

“Waaiittt”, He stopped, looking up at her with narrow, accusing eyes, “don’t tell me you’ve been sneaking around by yourself late at nights like this!”

“I’m so sorry Jooooooooon!” Yuuri whined, pressing her hands together and bowing down to him, the nickname escaping her lips very easily, once again making Namjoon all flustered. She never called him that. Heck she never even said his name. This was a first. But Yuuri didn’t seem to notice it, neither the nickname nor how flushed Namjoon looked, she continued, “But I was desperate you know! I was just working and working and working all day long. And, and it was suffocating, just sitting, all holed up in the studio without having the time or space to breathe and whenever I felt the urge, I used to sneak away like this”.

Namjoon sighed. What can he say to that? He understands that all too well.

“I understand that Yuuri”, He said, a bit curtly. Yuuri winced.

“But, do you realize how dangerous this is? It’s one thing when it's crowded but you do know how deserted this area gets after dark right? And it’s not safe at all! Anything could’ve happened to you!”

Yuuri gave a whimper of protest under his stern gaze, guilt smeared over her face. And then she groaned.

“Yuuri!”

Namjoon sighed again. There’s definitely no chance of getting through to this girl. She’s so reckless, fearless and independant all the time that she won’t even give a thought to the consequences she has to face later on. And she’s unstoppable. So Namjoon did the only thing he could think of then, at that moment.

“Look, I do understand that you get suffocated and you want to get out”, He said and looked at Yuuri who still looked like she’s ready to protest if he objects, “I feel like that a lot of times too. But!”

She groaned again and began to say something but Namjoon beat her to it.

“If you feel like that next time and you really want to get out”, He paused eyeing her carefully, “Drop by my studio or just give me a call or a text or anything. I’ll tag along. But I’m not letting you go alone!”

Yuuri’s face lit up like a thousand bulbs at his offer.

“For real?!” She gaped at him.

“Yes, for real”, Namjoon agreed, without lifting his head up to look at her, his gaze fixed on his ice cream. He was kind of surprised at himself at how quickly he offered himself. He was worried if it looked desperate or came across as something similar. But the expression on Yuuri’s face set aside all his worries. Now he was glad he offered.

“Why are you so kind Kim Namjoooooon?” Yuuri cooed dramatically clutching her heart, “You move me”.

Namjoon just giggled at her.

“Oh, you’re always so extra”, he teased, with a similarly dramatic roll of his eyes, “Such drama queen”.

“What are you talking about?” She feigned an offended look while dramatically falling over the backrest of her chair, “Meeeeee? A drama queen?”

“I definitely do not see anyone else who fits that description in this room”.

“I’m offended”.

“No, you like it”.

“How do you know me so well already?”

“A spiritual sixth sense I guess”.

“Wow, you have magical powers”.

“Girl, you don’t know a lot about me”.

“Can you apparate?”

“Wanna try?”

They left the parlour after more bickering and fits of giggles among each other, once again hitting the dry and deserted road. They walked in silence now. Not the usual awkward one but a more comfortable one. Namjoon couldn’t help but smile thinking back to the time they spent and one look through the corner of his eye told him Yuuri was smiling to herself too. And the smile on his face widened at that, exposing his dimples even more.

“Cute”, he heard Yuuri whisper.

“Huh?” He turned to her, unsure if he heard her right.

Yuuri looked at him, her expression that of a thief who got caught in the act, her cheeks covered in a soft pink blush. It made Namjoon blush too, but in his head, he wasn’t sure if she looked like that because of the cold weather or him.

“I just thought you looked cute with all those dimples”, Yuuri said, chuckling, laying her thoughts out loud now and skipped ahead in front of him.

Namjoon blushed so hard, he was sure his face turned as red as a tomato. He felt like time stopped ticking and he halted where he was walking. Was he hearing things? Did Yuuri just call him cute? Does that mean he has a slight chance of hope? Hope that she might like him too?

“Kim Namjoon!” Yuuri called out, cutting him out of his thoughts, gleefully waving at him from where she was walking, “You’re gonna get left behind if you keep daydreaming in the middle of the road!”

Shaking his head, he jogged up to her.

“You’re so unfair”, he breathed out stopping in front of her. Yuuri just stared at him quizzically. And when he looked at her face, into her eyes, the whole universe came stumbling down around him. Shattering, screaming, wailing and breaking. Yuuri was there, standing right in front of him, with barely any distance in between them. Her face, illuminated by the pale moonlight filtering through the thick cover of clouds in the sky. Her eyes twinkling as they reflected the countless stars, sparkling and glittering. They were so close, he could just lean in and kiss her but he stands still, swept away by the scene in front of him.

He probably thought this a lot and he was thinking about it again.

“You’re beautiful”, He says, a mere whisper. But Yuuri caught it, the blush colouring her face confirmed it for him. And she looked away breaking their contact. He held his hand up instinctively and placed it on her cheeks, turning her head to face him. They were soft. So, so soft, like velvet and silk. A few bangs of her dark hair sprawled across her face blown by the wind. Namjoon smoothened them and tucked them behind her ear with his other hand. Would it be too early if he kissed her? The silver of a doubt that loomed within his chest held him back from initiating it. He didn’t want to scare her away. Hell, he couldn’t even fathom what’s going on in her mind now.

It all felt very intimate. Too intimate.

#namjoon scenario #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fluff #bts namjoon #bts fanfic #fanfic #kim namjoon #rapmonster #bts #namjoon x oc #original character #romance

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artemis-crimson · 5 years

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@onewhoturns tagged me!

1.) Real name: Clara 2.) Nicknames: Arty? 3.) Zodiac Sign: Capricorn! 4.) Gender: Female? 5.) Nursery: Dunno what this mean, it’s a solid word though I guess? 6/10 6.) Primary School: Oh! It’s about what happened when we went to school! Fucking miserable but hey figured out I was bi as all hell 7.) Secondary School: Gee I sure hope so 8.) Hair Color: Dark brown 9.) Long or Short: Short but I’m growing it out again 10.) Loud or Quiet: Loud but it’s funny to walk around for hours and nobody notices you’re there or if you where there and now you’ve been missing for ages 11.) Sweats or Jeans: Fuck pants dude, skirts. I wear skirts 12.) Phone or Camera: Phone! My camera is old and fills up fast 13.) Health Freak: I’m here for a good time not a long time 14.) Drink or Smoke: Unfortunately 15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Yeah! I have a girlfriend, I love her! 16.) Political orientation: Left? Society is to serve humanity, governments exists to protect their people, everyone deserves a fair chance, ect? 17.) Piercings: I’ve just got my ears pierced but microdermal piercings are kinda really pretty too 18.) Tattoos: Also pretty but piercings are better cause they fucking sparkle, look at that there’s fucking metal in your skin and you can have cute things or fucking gems attached HAVE YOU EVER [BEEN IN]: 19.) Airplane: Fuck yeah! And a helicopter! I love flying! 20.) Car *Accident*: A truck bumped me once? 21.) Fist Fight: Several! Many? More sanctioned ones than just brawling and I think that’s rather mature of me FIRSTS: 22.) First piercing: Ears 23.) First Best Friend: A girl named Olivia! I’ve known her since kindergarten and we’re still friends 24.) First Instrument played: I played the xylaphone and glockenspiel at school and I was the worst at it 25.) First award: I won a medal for the best grades in the worst class in high school, I’m only counting the things I actually worked for and not participation or consolation prizes cause y’know, they don’t count 26.) First Crush: In retrospect probably one of my friends from when I was little and clueless but first one from post oh shit I’m queer realization is said girlfriend 27.) First Language: English. 28.) First Big Vacation: I went to Hawaii with my whole family on my mums side (and my dad) for my oma and opa’s anniversary LASTS: 29.) Last Person you talked to: My little sister! 30.) Last Person You Texted: Ana! who is the girlfriend I keep mentioning 31.) Last Person You Watched: I was watching Prey stuff to reference something earlier? Last human would also be my sister who I watched get a blanket for the plus nineteen degrees celsius heat the absolute madwoman 32.) Last Food You Ate: Pizza! meaty meat pizza 32.) Last Movie You Watched: Infinity war unfortunately, I wanted to see the moon throwing scene so I skipped through everything for that. 34.) Last Song You listened to: Bad Believer by St Vincent 35.) Last Thing You Bought: Poutine and bubble tea 36.) Last Person You Hugged: This is depressing, I don’t know. Does my PC count? I needed to adjust it again and that’s the last thing of any importance I’ve touched in a while now soooo FAVES: 37.) Food: Chocolate! Fish! Meat! Bread! Sugar! Curry! Ice cream! 38.) Drinks: TEA! Hot Chocolate! Milk! Horchata! Bubble tea! Soda! Port! 39.) Clothing: Comfortable skirts and t shirts with hoodies/sweaters and fuzzy leggings and scarves but it’s too warm for that 40.) Book: Tin Star by Cecil Castellucci 41.) Color: Purple! especially lavender 42.) Flower: Also lavender 43.) Music: Miracle of Sound! he’s got lots of different genres, Hozier and Seeming are great too and a bunch of video game soundtracks are great too 44.) Movie: Pacific Rim I think 46.) Subjects: Science! I want to know how everything and everyone works and then I want to help all of it

IN THE PAST YEAR I… 47.) [ ] Kissed in the rain 48.) [ ] Celebrated Halloween. 49.) [ ] Had Your Heart Broken 50.) [x] Went Over the Minutes on Your Cell Phone 51.) [x] Someone Questioned Your Sexual Orientation. It’s a constant state of denial babe 52.) [x] Used a Weapon Technically 53.) [x] Breathed fire I inhaled a candle flame that count? 54.) [ ] Had an Abortion 55.) [x] Done something you’ve Regretted 56.) [ ] Broke a Promise 57.) [x] Kept a Secret 58.) [x] Pretended To Be Happy 59.) [ ] Met Someone Who Changed Your Life 60.) [ ] Pretended To Be Sick 61.) [ ] Left The Country 62.) [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn’t like, and liked it. 63.) [x] Cried Over The Silliest Thing 64.) [x] Ran a Mile 65.) [ ] Went To the Beach 66.) [ ] Stayed Single CURRENTLY: 67.) Eating: Avoiding sleep 68.) Drinking: Oolong tea 69.) Getting Ready To: Sleep 70.) Listening To: I did forget to change this whoops, I’m listening to this https://youtu.be/4MN8gw6S4kM 71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: Berry farm trip! 72.) Waiting For: Sleep YOUR FUTURE: 73.) Want Kids: Not especially? I don’t think I’d be good at it 74.) Want To Get Married: Yeah! I’m sappy and it’s useful incase someone is hospitalized or for taxes or wills or visas which is less sappy and more practical but is there anything more romantic than making sure your partner has safety nets and an easier life? Huh? 75.) Careers in minds: I want to help people, I just don't know how yet? WHICH IS BETTER ON A GIRL/GUY: (again blatant nb/gq/ag exclusion) ON A PERSON/PARTNER: 76.) Lips or Eyes: ...Eyes? 77.) Shorter or Taller: All the same to me? 78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: This is vague and weird really, like what if you think romance is spontaneity? however since it’s capitalized I’m assuming you mean like the Romance period and I think that’s pretty good 79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: Also weird! who wants their partner to get sick? I don’t want them to get sick? Arms are for holding, stomachs are for eating these things are not related 80.) Sensitive or Loud: None of these questions make any fucking sense 81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: Relationship? 82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: These things are not mutually exclusive either HAVE YOU EVER: 83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: My glasses once got smacked off my face with a boom and into a reservoir 84.) Ran Away From Home: Nope 85.) Held A Weapon, For Self Defense: I do not believe it has been self defence technically no 86.) Killed Somebody: I’m onto you you dirty cops 87.) Broken Someone’s Heart: Sure hope not! 88.) Been Arrested: Can’t catch meeeeee DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 90.) Yourself: I am here, I am trying, I am failing, I will try again or I will die, there’s no belief involved 91.) Miracles: Sort of? Not really? I don’t think the universe is going to make anything happen for a reason kind or cruel 92.) Love at First Sight: No, love needs you to know someone 93.) Heaven: Nope! 94.) Santa Claus: Nope? Never have, wrong cultures for Santa 95.) Easter Bunny: Nope, wrong cultures again 96.) Magic: I’m not sure, insufficient evidence ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 97.) Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: Yes! Cause I’m taken! Am dating! Have girlfriend, I’m girlfriend! It’s great! 98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: Nope! Can’t remember ever being truly seriously happy but that’s alright though cause nothing lasts forever and either I’ll get around to it eventually or I just won’t? No point in worrying 99.) Are You Happy With The Person You’re With: Also yes! Incredibly! I try to not get started cause I’m told I can be insufferable about it but so very very happy 100.) Post as 100 Truths and Tag five People: this is more 99 truths ain’t it, so here’s the last one, I am constantly terrified my plants will die but act tough in front of them cause someone has to not wilt under pressure

@alienhazy, @nightcoreapologist, @kajafrompluto, @criticalrolo, @elvenorc

#ask & answer by artemis

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itsjulesharper · 6 years

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When we left our intrepid characters, Philippe had stupidly and against all sense, charged off on his own, in the night, without guards (yeah, this would never happen) to the Bastille to find out who this mysterious Duc de Sullun is. And promptly got hit on the nopper. Louis meanwhile, thinks he is hot shit because of all the awesome lights and running water he’s given to his people. JUST LOVE MEEEEEE.

So somehow, Philippe has made it back home to bed, and Liselotte is leaning over him while he is disorientated and half-awake. He looks awful. Bontemps is heard saying, “nothing to worry about, your Highness.” (WRONG form of address – should be ‘your royal Highness’. And so it starts.) Did Bontemps clonk Philippe? Of course, he was acting all forms of suspicious last ep, so he was most obvs. there to swoop in and bring Philippe back. Can’t have a royal prince of France just getting all KILLED without a guard or backup or anything, can we?? Anyways, the doctor says he has a mild concussion and Bontemps adds, “caused no doubt, by the fall.” WHAT FALL. So this is the narrative being spun by suspect Bontemps, eh? “I didn’t fall, ” mumbles Philippe. “I was hit.” There is blood on the pillow and the camera focus goes from clear to fuzzy then back again and everyone is concerned and I am concerned that they keep calling him YOUR HIGHNESS FFS. Philippe wants to talk to his brother but Liselotte says he’s not going anywhere. Philippe mumbles stuff about ‘the mask’ and Bontemps looks quite a bit shitty while Liselotte is all confused and Philippe goes on: “his eyes… one of the prisoners… was wearing a mask.” Bontemps tells the doctor to ensure he gets the rest he needs, Philippe finally falls asleep and we are into the intro.

In the gardens, and Louis and Leopold are in a frantic battle of swords, with lots of clanging and thrusting and grunting and moving about. Leopold finally elbows Louis in the face and draws blood, and Louis looks quite shocked. Bontemps makes a step forward but Marchal puts a hand on his shoulder. Not yet. Louis gives Leopold a look, wipes his nose and turns away… but Leopold advances and Louis whirls, blocking the thrust and they continue to clash. Louis lands a blow on the other man’s kidneys and he advances again before a breath can be caught. They grapple and struggle and in the struggle, Leopold manages to disarm Louis, taking both swords. Louis is shocked and angry (as you would be) and we hear the tiniest sound of a blade being drawn, then see Marchal step forward as he slides his dagger from his belt *heart eyes*. Leopold takes a breath then lowers both swords, his point proven. Bontemps says loftily, “It is customary for the king’s adversary to bow after the fight.” Leopold, looking sweaty and spent, answers: “In Austria it is customary for the loser to bow.” Bontemps ain’t havin’ any of that: “This is not Austria, your Majesty. This is Versailles.” (Not YOUR MAJESTY, UGGGGH). There’s a bit of a Mexican standoff and we see shitty Bontemps, mouth breathing Louis, Leopold looking from every face and gauging the mood and how much he can get away with. Finally he inclines his head (not at ALL like a proper bow) And offers Louis’ sword back. Louis takes it in silence.

And next scene we are walking back into Versailles. Louis says, “a clever ploy. A vicious attack hidden behind a show of weakness.” Leopold replies, “History remembers the winner, not the manner of his victory.” Ah, so now we are on the subject of winners, and Louis says it is time to enter negotiations. Leopold received word from Rome and they ‘look favourably on your guardianship of Strasbourg and Luxembourg.’ Louis is pleased and now wants to discuss Spain. Sure, your Majesty go right ahead, because I am taken by the lovely staircase and marble everywhere. Ahhhh, now they are talking about their ‘deal’ – on King Charles of Spain’s death, they split the spoils. Louis replies that much has changed since that deal. Leopold is all ‘such as?’ and Louis leans in and says tightly, “I won the war.” Before Leopold can reply, the queen floats down the stairs, asking who won. Of course she is talking about the duel, and Leopold says “His Majesty was kind enough to allow me victory.” The queen is concerned for Louis’ bloody nose, but he’s ‘meh, it’s nothing’ about it. Her gaze darts from Leopold to Louis, then back again and Louis picks up on the weirdness, saying that she seems…. “tired.” Huh. Not what I would’ve gone with, but there you go. Nothing that can’t be remedied by a walk in the gardens, it seems. And just look at Leopold – a ‘yeah, I shagged you last night and it was goooood’ expression if ever I saw one.

how you doin’?

The queen looks flustered, bobs a curtsey and hurries down the steps, and Louis does not see her or her lady’s smiles as they float off. Leopold turns to Louis: “how much of Spain do you want?” Louis answers tightly, “All of it,” then continues up the stairs. Leopold sighs, glances back down to the queen in the distance then goes on his way.

*historical note: Louis did indeed demand Spain as part of his wife’s dowry because at the time, he knew Spain could not pay the monies he wanted and so, the ‘we give you money in exchange for the ‘not challenging the throne of Spain” agreement was forfeit. It was also expected that King Charles of Spain (the queen’s brother and also in possession of the mighty Hapsburg jaw) wouldn’t live very long. He surprised them all by living until he was nearly thirty-nine. He was born in 1661, a year after his sister Marie-Therese was married to Louis and so was living in France. She was 22.

that art on the wall – lulz.

so pretteh….

We are back with Philippe, and he is finally on his feet, shuffling along and holding his head but still in a daze. He goes into one of Louis’ private salons and Louis and Bontemps are there, Louis telling him he really should be in bed. Dazed and confused, he sits, and Bontemps butts in with his prepared standard line – that Philippe had ‘an unfortunate accident.’ But nuh-uh Philippe is not here for that mansplaining shit. But Bontemps is really invested in this, even going so far as to say that he spoke with the governor who assured him that Philippe SLIPPED AND FELL. Nup. Philippe calls bullshit on that, saying he went to the Bastille to see the prisoner, then was struck, and that the prisoner wore a mask of iron. And I must say, Louis is rather calm after hearing a prince of France not only went to the Bastille ALONE and without guards, but was hit. He says he was told that the prisoner’s real name was Macquart. Philippe is confused and now we hear the lie Bontemps has settled on – the prisoner is a petty criminal and of unsound mind, believing himself to be an actual duke, so the guards gave him the title of le duc de Sullun to appease him. But why that name? Apparently, ‘Sullun’ is latin – the reverse of ‘nullus’, meaning ‘no one’. And the man in the iron mask does not exist, Louis explains, and it is all in Philippe’s head. Bontemps watches them both in silence but his expression is not quite right but I am suddenly distracted by what Louis is wearing. Look at it! Louis tells Philippe to go back to bed and the scene becomes blurry.

We are back in the gardens and Leopold is striding around, obvs looking for the queen to remind her of teh sexytimes they both had. How indiscreet of him. He finds her nervously undercover of some trees and does his best alpha male impression by silently going over to her, cupping her face and going in for a neck snog. The queen doth protest, overcome by some late shyness/modesty/guilt/loyalty I suppose. Why not? Leopold asks. “You will soon be gone,” she softly replies. Oh, okay. “It will only increase the pain of your departure,” she adds when he wants to just snog it out and enjoy each other. He looks frustrated, asks if he can trust her, that he needs her help. “Your husband is trying to destroy the dynasty that our ancestors have spent six hundred years creating. He will claim all of Spain on your brother’s death. The Hapsburgs will soon be extinct.” The queen is concerned and wants to know what he intends to do about it. “I will stop him.” But how? Oh, apparently his niece Eleanor will marry the queen’s brother, Charles. Plus he wants the queen to write a letter to her brother recommending the union. The queen asks why she should help him, so he plays the “you are a Hapsburg” card, plus the ‘your husband just wanted you for political stuffs, not you as a woman’ guilt trip. Wheeee. He rubs it right in: “He abandoned you the day he married you. Since then, his only gifts have been solitude and infidelity.” The scene cuts to the queen with parchment and quill, thinking what to write, then goes back to them in the garden where they finally kiss WHERE ANYONE CAN SEE THIS, and we have three close-ups of the queen’s ruby ring and THIS IS SIGNIFICANT so take note of it. The queen’s voiceover is then heard: “My dear brother Charles. I am writing to you concerning marriage…”

*Historical note: they mess up the real time lines so much it makes my head spin. Charles of Spain married in 1679 at the age of eighteen to …..SPOILER!!!! Philippe’s favourite daughter, Marie-Louise. She was 17. Can you see how confused I am – are we in 1679? Or 1674 because baby Philippe was born then? Or 1667, when the street lights were first on? Or…. …..SPOILER!!!! 1683 when the queen dies? UGH. FRUSTRATED. 😫

Now back in the salons and we hear the Chevalier holding court, saying “they say that at Villarceaux she spent her nights on her back in bliss, and her days on her knees in penance.” Chortle, chortle. “If you want my opinion – and I’m sure you do-” He suddenly is cut short by the appearance of Maintenon in the doorway, Delphine beside her, and he skilfully changes with subject with “the question is… what colour for the forthcoming season? Blue or green?” The two women blithely stroll and mingle while everyone gossips (CHAIRS WITH ARMS NOOOOO 😡😡) and I’m loving the look of that dark-haired noble behind Liselotte. So very mysterious. We follow Maintenon, and suddenly we see Louis’ last bedmate gossiping with the other demoiselles, saying “behind that air of prudishness, she’s quite the slut. And the next time I see the king, I’ve a good mind to tell him about it.” Silly chit. We know how this is gonna end, don’t we? (but also – look at those gowns!!) And look at this screen cap, which I loooove. Look at the demoiselle’s expression over her shoulder. And the two messieurs behind Delphine, just waiting for a scene.

Delphine is at a loss as to who everyone is talking about, and is shocked when Maintenon confirms she is the subject of all the gossip. Of course there’s no truth to the rumours, she assures Delphine, then excuses herself. She glides, head held high, out the doors and then leans against the stone wall, taking unsteady breaths. The camera pans around and Bontemps appears. “her ladyship seems upset.” (WAT LULZ. Not the correct way to address a marquise, ffs……) “Tell me, Bontemps,” she starts a little out of breath. “Do you consider it the mark of nobility to destroy a lady’s reputation with sordid gossip and lies?” errr…. no. Bontemps looks a bit out of his depth. She nods. “Neither do I.” And she floats off. So now Bontemps is all het up and goes into the salon, all curious-like. He looks a bit shitty as he sees the gossip girl laughing with her gossip friends and then the scene cuts back to Maintenon, who appears to be stomping about and looking for someone. Ahhh. Madame de Montespan. Montespan greets her politely but Maintenon gets right into it, accusing her of being behind the rumours. Montespan claims her innocence – “Why would I do such a thing?” – and Maintenon comes back with the old and favourite ‘you’re just jealous’. Montespan finds that amusing, says it is the other way around, that she was ready to risk everything, while Maintenon is not. And then… ahahahhhhhaaaaaa! She says, “is it true you put other women in his bed?” And I LAUGH AND LAUGH because as I mentioned in Ep1, this is what the real Montespan did, and the real Maintenon tried her earnest to keep women OUT of Louis’ bed because of all the sinning and stuffs. Well, apparently the king has needs that must be satisfied and these women mean nothing to him, says Maintenon with much conviction. Yeah, but nup. Montespan has her number, can see the other woman is scared. Of what? “Of your own passion. You are scared that if you give in to it, you will lose control. You take refuge in piety and denial but behind the mask you’re just screaming with pain.”

Next scene – Leopold is studying paperwork in his rooms with his Austrian Bontemps, niece Eleanor reading a book in the corner, and he is told King Charles is expecting their imminent arrival. How is Leopold going to approach the negotiations, his Austemps asks. The same as Louis – “Lie, haggle, concede, coerce, protest…. and smile.” When his man reminds Leopold the king is dangerous and starts to offer advice, Leopold gets a bit shitty. He does not need advice: “This is a game of cards. The prize is Spain and I have the trump card.” DISMISSED, AUSTEMPS.

Right, so Louis enters the small prayer room where Maintenon has perched her carcass. Again. She turns. Louis is shitty. “There is talk in the salon.” Oh, I’ll bet there is. He wants to know if there is any truth in it. “No, Sire. It is scurrilous gossip designed to destroy my reputation.” DEAR LORD, MAINTENON. You could’ve come clean. He was offering you the prime opportunity to tell him all about it. And so you LIE, knowing how he feels about liars. *headdesk* Louis is annoyed because it also damages his reputation. Maintenon kisses ass: “The king must know he has my total trust. I only pray I have his.” Right-o, sowing the seeds for when she finally does tell the truth, then. He gives her a look then says, “come with me.”

Back in Leopold’s rooms and Eleanor wants to go to the salons. “No, you will stay here and practice your embroidery.” (Lulz) “Embroidery is for spinsters.”😆 He gives her a champion side eye – she needs to show a little more humility and respect… oh, and befriend the queen. Eleanor isn’t impressed – the queen seems dull to her. She’s a Habsburg, dammit. And you will talk to her about Spain. Ugh. Srsly. How boring. Eleanor seems lovely and bouncy like a teenager often is, looking for fun and excitement. But Leopold doesn’t care for that: “You are only here because I have a use for you.” Eleanor looks shitty, as would I. “Yes, Uncle.”

Bontemps doing his now-standard shitty look.

Right-o, so Louis enters the salon after Bontemps announces him, and everyone stops gossiping and playing cards and does the usual stand/bow/curtsey. He looks shitty, and Maintenon behind him looks apprehensive, and then he announces “To lie is a sin. To slander is a sin. To seek to destroy someone through unfounded gossip is a sin. A woman close to me who does great honour to this court has seen her reputation stained by the poison of gossip. In harming her, you harm your king. This will stop. Now.” The camera pans to Maintenon, then to the Gossip Girl as Louis turns to look at her and – we learn her name is Mademoiselle de Vasseur – tells her she is no longer welcome at Versailles. The camera pans to a few faces: the shocked and controlled-panicky Vasseur, Maintenon who follows Louis as he leaves, Liselotte with a tight expression, Montespan as Vasseur rushes from the room while whispers start. Liselotte approaches Montespan, says the girl is innocent. Montespan: Nobody here is innocent. Liselotte: You started those rumours. Montespan: They’re not rumours, they’re true. She deserves to be punished for her past, just as I was.

Liselotte leaves while Bontemps gives Montespan the most shittiest look eva.

The music swells (LOOOOOVE the music!) and we are outside, in the coeur d’honneur following a hooded female figure all the way up to the guards who cross their weapons and TAH-DA it is the return of Sophie! “I think you’d probably better arrest me.”

Scene cut to Marchal walking through to his office dungeon, and he gives a sigh, turns and sees Sophie standing there. Then a conversation is had about where she’s been (Holland) and why she was there (Thomas told her) and what she is doing now (being a double agent, apparently. Working for William of Orange as a spy but telling Marchal all about it). Marchal looks rather intimidating, circling her and meeting her eyes and getting very close, but Sophie looks very cool and calm. Now they are both before Louis and he is all “A spy. Here at Versailles.” She spins her story, saying she refused to spy, that she was not suited, that she then escaped by seducing the guard then taking refuge in convents and taverns on the way home. Huh. A likely story. Louis is a bit shitty at the thought of her wanting to reclaim her title and fortune (Cassel’s fortune), and Sophie is all “I place myself at your mercy, sire.” Louis is not fooled. “Lock her up.” Sophie plays her trump card, blurting out that William of Orange’s army is on the march, 10,000 men headed to Austria to support Emperor Leopold. Louis’ WTF face is so funny 😄 Interesting that Sophie gives up some info to ‘prove’ her innocence, yet that info can’t immediately be confirmed or denied. Of course, Marchal is gonna make enquiries to confirm it and meanwhile she remains locked up.

We are back with Philippe, who is fully dressed on the bed, contemplating…. something. He slowly sits up and with a determined look, heads to see Louis. Bontemps looks surprised to see him, says the doctor was most insistent. “He is no longer my doctor. And I know what I saw.” Bontemps looks worried as Philippe continues on, and Bontemps strides off to see a guard, instructing him to go to the stables and prepare a horse and messenger to leave immediately for Rome.

The queen is teaching Eleanor Spanish in the queen’s rooms as they play cards, the younger girl asking questions about “the king, your brother” saying she must miss him and I am UGH NO HE WAS BORN IN 1661, A YEAR AFTER SHE LEFT SPAIN TO MARRY LOUIS. The queen is coolly “yes, I miss him terribly,” (reminder: MARRIED) and she has his portrait to remind her of him (the original was painted by Claudio Coello). Eleanor is holding back the ewwww when the queen says “it’s not his fault he was born that way. As you can imagine, he suffers, but he has a noble heart.” Eleanor is so not impressed.

*historical note: Charles of Spain was the last of the Hapsburgs and had a shit load of physical and mental challenges, due to a history of consanguineous unions (uncles marrying nieces, cousins to cousins. Louis and the queen were actually first cousins, as their parents were brother and sister) . If you are interested in reading more about the doomed Hapsburg dynasty there was a fascinating study done in 2009 in science journal PLOS One on the role of inbreeding in the European royal dynasty here.

Leopold does not like what Louis proposes for their negotiations. “If you claim all of Spain and its territories you will trigger a war with every country in Europe!” Louis is not deterred, because yo, he has won one war and his army is well-prepared for another. Leopold is mucho angry: it would be a war without end. “I want what is mine,” Louis replies. “You think everything is yours,” is Leopold’s reply. Louis is all casual-like: “What will you do if the Turks advance on Vienna? Hope it rains? Or are you counting on the rabble that is William of Orange’s army?” Leopold’s expression is ‘uh-oh’ as Louis delivers his persuasive argument – “the only person who can protect you is me.” But Leopold says that the pope will never approve of giving Spain to Louis. More negotiations – Louis says he’ll only take 80%, Leopold says ‘nup, nuh-uh.’ Better start Turkish lessons, then.

Next scene…. Philippe riding ALONE through the woods and minus any guard or escort. I am wondering if this horrid oversight of what it actually means to be a prince of France is deliberately ignored in order to show the viewer that he is very bad-ass and fiery and will do whatever TF he wants. But it backfires on this viewer. It is stupid. We see a nice shot of the Bastille and then we are inside, where Philippe is talking to the head guard and we learn that the dude in the room that Philippe said contained the Iron Mask Man has cut his wrists. We see this dude – Macquart – obvs dead, face down on the desk and with blood on the floor. Philippe lifts up the dead man’s head, and he knows it is not the one who was originally there. We cut to the jailer, who is looking just a wee bit nervous, then Philippe asks “Who struck me?” but the jailer is still going with the ‘slipped and fell’ defence and Philippe is not happy about that. He also says the dead man wore a mask of iron….aaaaand the jailer is all confused and “Your Highness, there is no prisoner wearing such a thing,” which we all know is total bullshit because we have seen it all with our own eyes. The body is removed, the jailer bows and Philippe is left standing in the room looking a bit frustrated and sighing mightily. Then he spots the words “KILL ME” carved in the stone wall. He turns and walks out, past a ranty and smelly-looking poor sod in a cage outside. Philippe pauses with a brief sad smile, does the whole “Do you know who I am?” to which the ranty dude says “I know you better than you know yourself.” then it sounds like he says “Philippe of Gutter and Arsewipe and Good Dung.” My French subs say “of gutter and dung” which is about right. Philippe is amused, asks if he knew of the (now dead) man in the cell. “Everybody knows him, nobody knows him, if you know what I am saying. Don’t look him in the eyes, he’ll eat you up.” Is he still alive? Philippe wants to know. Dude gets a bit angry: “he’s undead! You can’t kill him!” But Philippe is also angry and all “did he wear a mask?!!” Ranty Man sticks to his story: “He will kill you with his eyes!” and then we hear other noises and Philippe has had enough, striding out as Ranty Man finishes with “Cain, brother of Abel. Two brothers drenched in blood and cursed forever!” which is pretty much a dead giveaway to what is to come.

Right, so back in the gardens of Versailles and…. okay, the Chevalier is strolling arm-in-arm with Liselotte, while two servants walk behind with the baby, looking all cosy as a couple. Also WEIRD AF because historically those two hated each other at this stage, only calling a truce much later in life when everyone was older and (I guess) tired of fighting about shit. Maintenon bows her head at Liselotte’s greeting and she asks to admire the petit prince and everyone smiles and looks on adoringly. Then Maintenon looks all concerned and serious and I know some shit is gonna go down because she is Maintenon the cow and knows Liselotte was part of the rumour spreading. “If I may. I don’t mean to seem impertinent, but I think you are making a grave mistake by keeping him here.”

baby Philippe ahhhhh!

WAT.

The Chevalier gives Liselotte a look, and Liselotte is all calm and “is that so?” Maintenon replies: “Well, it is not the right environment for a child.” (and I laugh and laugh because LOUIS HAS ALL HIS KIDS THERE, and for fucksake, if it is good enough for HIS HEIRS then it is good enough for everyone else!) Liselotte, comes back with a polite fuckyou:

Kindly shut the fuck up.

Liselotte: May I ask what gives you the right to tell me how to look after my child? Maintenon: I was a governess. Liselotte: Yet never a mother. Maintenon: (expression a bit tight) Alas, no. Liselotte: You’d think one of your many lovers would solve that problem. Maintenon: (after a pause) It would seem your reputation for honesty and integrity is ill-deserved.

Then Maintenon flies off on her broom glides away while the Chevalier smacks his lips and says “well, that went well,” and Liselotte is much disturbed by what just transpired. (Narrator: As well she should. Much wtfuckery is about to explode. EXPLODE, I TELL YOU! 😡)

We are back with Louis and his ministers, and Colbert is flicking annoyedly through the pages of a ledger, saying that their monies to finance their expansion into the Americas and to fortify their borders will add another two million to the deficit. UUUUGH. More pesky money talk and Louis can’t quite believe that he doesn’t have an endless pit of money to allow him to run the country as he sees fit. (Sames, Louis, sames) He demands that his people respect the law i.e. pay the taxes they simply cannot afford. So begins the rise of Tyrant Louis in all his splendour, setting the stage for an obvious revolt later on. Colbert is annoyed and frustrated. Then Bontemps enters and says he’s discovered the source of the Maintenon rumours. Louis knows without Bontemps confirming: “bring her to me.”

We are back in Paris, with Guillaume and Jeanne in their eh-by-gum Yorkshire workshop where they are stressing about taxes. G thinks his workers are just being slackers, and demands to know who hasn’t paid their taxes because his is an upstanding, law abiding citizen. Some workers say they haven’t – they don’t like the hike: “the king’s gone too far.” Thus ensues a resigned exchange: “if you want us to pay more taxes, give us more money.” “If I pay you more money, the business will fold.” “Whether we work or not, most of us are gonna die in rags and poverty.”

Back at Versailles and we have a stunning-looking Montespan going before Louis. His back is turned, Bontemps says “there is a piece of paper on the table. You will read it aloud then sign it.” So with great trepidation she reads: “I, the Marquise de Montespan, do hereby renounce and relinquish my place at the court of Versailles. I pledge to sever all contact with anyone I may know at the palace and will take no further part in court life. I shall devote the rest of my days to prayer and charitable work. I have sinned and I accept my penance.” She signs as Bontemps tells her her affairs are in order, and a carriage will take her to the convent of Sainte Ursule, never return to court. Montespan is clearly shaken, says, “a condemned normally has a right to a last word before being led away.” Louis does not turn around as she begins: “where I once saw the warm face of a man, I now see the stone face of a tyrant. You treat those around you like slaves and you place yourself beyond mortal sway. But remember the story of Icarus – fly to close to the sun and you will fall and drown.”

Bontemps always seems to be in a state of shitty side-eyes

There is a pause: Louis looks so very shitty, like a petulant child suffering a parental scolding. Finally he says (still not turning around), “the dance is over. Go.” And so Montespan leaves. Louis says to Bontemps, “In time I will forgive her. But I will never forget.” And there we have it. The end of Montespan’s reign. We see her in slo-mo through the corridors, music swelling as she makes her final walk past the courtiers, her face a mask of tight control. Maintenon watches her go then turns on her heel, slo-mo walking towards the camera that smug, nasty little witch.

*Historical note: Montespan did indeed leave Versailles for a convent but it happened over time. First she was moved to a less favourable apartment in 1685, then in 1687 Louis changed his visiting times. She was consoled from this fall from favour by seeing her children married off well, then in 1691 she finally left court to the convent Saint-Joseph in Paris’ Rue de Saint-Dominique, where Louis allocated her an allowance of 500,000 francs. You can read more about her here.

The scene cuts to Maintenon in her rooms, now lounging nekkid in the bath, and Louis the creeper is watching her through the gap in the door. She stands, wraps herself in a sheet and is surprised to see Louis in the shadows. She wants to know how long he’s been there, and he acts like a teenager, kind of stuttering and getting her robe. Right. They stand before a glorious mirror, and she thanks him for what he said in the salons, in defence of her honour. (what honour UUUUGH) and then he goes in for a snog and she is more than willing to let him, even as she whispers “Please don’t. I can’t.” More snogging, a bit of va-jay-jay grabbing, which seems to snap her out of it, breaking away and hissing, “Enough. His majesty takes advantage of his station.” ?????? WTF. Louis is angry: “sometimes I don’t know what my station is with you.” And Maintenon is all “I would ask you to leave.” He does in a mighty huff but she stops him with an offering: “The Marquise de Quincy awaits his majesty in his room.” Nice pimpin’ there, Maintenon. Louis turns and storms off, while Maintenon sits and looks a bit stressed but most def. does not cry as you would expect one would when you send the man you love INTO ANOTHER WOMAN’S BED.

And there Louis is, entering his room as a pretty marquise obediently sits on his bed and removes her robe. Louis’ expression is all ‘ugh’ and quite a bit shitty but hey, lets not allow feelings and stuffs to get in the way of a tumble in the sheets, eh?

Meanwhile, Leopold is in his room, quaffing from that FABULOUS GLASSWARE, and his door slowly opens to reveal the queen. And so they engage in some shagging after she tells him she wrote the letter.

Louis stands and stares melancholic from his window as Bontemps enters, and he bids his servant to come join him a moment. He is in a mood: “Everyone looks at a king and says ‘I would give anything to be in his place. All he wants is his.’ But they see only the surface. They see nothing of the shadows below.” Bontemps: “No one has all he wants, sire. Not even a king.” Louis replies cryptically, “From the darkest shadow springs the brightest light.”

A shot of the fountain now and is it daybreak or sunset? We follow Marchal walking a dingy corridor with keys, leading us to Sophie in a cell. Has he come to torture her? “My men have checked every detail of your journey from Holland. It seems you are telling the truth.” And so, the king has given permission for her release. “You are once again, the duchesse de Cassel.” Yeah, but nah. Marchal still does not trust her and I am on his side with that. Something just seems off with it all. “You may be free,” Marchal drawls, “but whatever you do, whoever you talk to, wherever you go, I’ll be watching you.” Sophie casually walks past him, looking a little flirty. “Even when I return to my chambers?” Marchal watches her go with a suspicious eye and I am all OKAY THEN.

We are in the chambers of Liselotte, where she is cooing over baby Philippe’s cot. Look at her face! What a lovely domestic motherly scene. PITY IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO IT. Liselotte is all heart eyes “Philippe, he smiled! Come and look!” Meanwhile, Philippe is moping on the bed, while she breathlessly says “look at those blue eyes! Aren’t they beautiful!” And still Philippe looks mega-shitty and now I AM SO ANNOYED because Real Philippe absolutely adored his children and it physically pains me to see him portrayed as a spoilt, moody asshole. But wait, ‘blue eyes’ hits a chord with him and we can practically see his brain starting to click and turn. BLUE EYES. And he storms off without a word. UGH.

Philippe stomps into Marchal’s dungeon (WITHOUT GUARDS yet again), asks if the name Marcquart means anything to him, then relates what he knows – a thief in the Bastille, face hidden behind an iron mask, then a dead body is removed. The first man had blue eyes, the dead man, brown. Philippe needs Marchal’s help to get to the bottom of it, but bummer, Marchal only serves the king. “Don’t see this as work. See this more of… say…. leisure activity.” LULZ the look on Marchal’s face.

Murder investigation for fun? I AM SO THERE.

your people? errr…. they love you.

We are back in Louis’ rooms and Guillaume is measuring him for shoes, Jeanne taking notes. “Tell me about the mood of the people in Paris,” Louis suddenly says. G is all ‘wtf now?’ before he says “they are happy, sire. To be ruled by so generous a monarch.” But hey, aren’t they unhappy with paying their taxes? “nothing that isn’t cured by hard work, sire.” Louis continues to fish, saying that surely there are some who despise their king. AS IF Guillaume would go “oh, yeah. Let me give you their names.” ? Instead he placates, says there will always be those who don’t think of the glory of France, who think only of themselves…. while Jeanne’s expression is quite a bit ‘ugh.’ She finally says, “they are hungry.” and Bontemps butts in with “mind your tongue” and I am really, REALLY starting to dislike Bontemps this season. Louis wants to hear, however, and goes on a bit of a condescending monologue, like they are both children: “You must understand that a king is only there to serve his people and his country, to defend the land, to develop trade and commerce. To pay for construction. All these things require money. (MANSPLAINING a king’s duties) And the only way to raise money is through taxation. Is that so wrong?” Jeanne: It is. If it bleeds the people dry. Louis: SHOCKED FACE. Jeanne: The people his majesty claims to serve believe he serves only personal ambition.

Let me mansplain being a king to you.

The music becomes ominous as Guillaume tries to backtrack, but Jeanne will have none of it. She means what she says. Louis steps to her, gives her a death stare and says, “But you are wrong. I do not seek glory for myself but for France.” (But you are France, Louis. Srsly). Jeanne: Your people care little for the glory of France, sire. They are grateful for clean water and lighting, but neither will fill their stomachs. Louis steps away, looks thoughtful, then thanks them for their honesty. And as they leave, Guillaume is furious. “Have you lost your mind?” Jeanne retorts: “have you lost your origins?” They have a hushed argument about being ungrateful for the king’s favour, how she told Louis the truth, would he have her lie? YES! says G. Why? Because he’s the king! And interestingly, here we see the seeds of motivation for Jeanne. This makes sense. Her character makes sense. We see her in her Ordinary World, we see her struggles and her conflict, dealing with the people around her, and so as time goes on, we understand her motivation for all she does. Unlike Agathe in Season 2, who was just ‘down with the tyrant king!’ without any real reason WHY.

Now we are in a salon with Marchal, and he approaches Philippe. He has news – his agents in Paris say Marcquart was a harmless petty thief, just trying to feed his family. “So what was he doing in the Bastille?” Philippe asks. Marchal: “He was not in the Bastille.”

Duh-DUH. Orchestra, play something dramatic.

We’re walking with Leopold and his Bontemps now, and Leo confirms the pope will look favourably upon the match… and right now I am most concerned with the huge and disturbing absence of PEOPLE. There is a distinct lack of people in Versailles and it is hugely distracting to me. Servants, courtiers, guards, ministers… where ARE THEY??? no one was hardly ever alone in Versailles, there were bodies E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. But these corridors and halls are empty and there only seems to ever be a handful of people in the salons or strolling about the gardens.

Gonna leave you tomorrow. So sad.

Anyways, Leo enters Louis’ rooms – he has good news and bad. Good news – he’s decided he is gonna give 80% of Spain to Louis upon Charles’ death. He says he’s had enough of war, he wants peace and stability. And the bad news? Leo is leaving. They hug, they smile and tonight they will celebrate the signing of their agreement.

BUT WAIT…. FORGET THAT. One of the most GTFO scenes is just about to happen. STRAP IN.

Liselotte is in her rooms, cooing over baby Philippe when we hear the doors open. Bontemps, two guards and mega-cow Maintenon walk in. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?????? Liselotte’s expression drops. “No. Please. Don’t take him away. Let me talk to the king.” Bontemps: It is the law of the palace, your Highness. I am sorry (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK NO IT IS NOT) A guard steps forward and Liselotte pushes him away and WAT. Another guard grabs her and holds her back and I AM IN A FUCKING RAGE BECAUSE SHE IS A PRINCESS OF FUCKING FRANCE WHAT THE FUCK. Liselotte screams, the baby cries (A PRINCE OF FRANCE FOR FUCKSAKE!) “Take him away and you take away my heart,” Liselotte sobs, Bontemps says “this is no place for children” (WHAT A FUCKING CROCK – there were children everywhere in Versailles, including LOUIS’ OWN FUCKING CHILDREN) and Maintenon, that utter fucking hypocritical snake, murmurs “it is for the best,” and the doors close as Liselotte sobs.

And here – HERE – is where I lost all hope for this season. Seriously. This is so much fucking bullshit that I can smell it clear on the other side of the world. THIS IS WRONG. I do not mind historical fiction. I enjoy historical fiction. But when the historical facts are totally and utterly distorted, just for the sake of some dramatic twist – which, having watched the entire season, serves NO ACTUAL PURPOSE – this is a fucking insult. Let us break this down. The baby is a prince of France. A royal mistress, no matter how high in affection, cannot just REMOVE a prince of France. Liselotte is a princess. The hierarchy, while complicated by Princes of the blood and other titles and orders, goes like this: King first, then Queen, then the dauphin and dauphin’s kids, then Philippe (as brother of the king), then Liselotte (as wife to brother of the king), then children of Philippe. Maintenon, ranked as a marquise, is much lower on the totem pole – the Chevalier de Lorraine is a foreign prince, Delphine a duchesse, and BOTH rank higher than Maintenon. Versailles was all about RANK and PROTOCOL and to have an uppity marquise even approach a member of the royal family, much less REMOVE ONE, is so fucking beyond ridiculous that I have to use a telescope to find even a fucking glimmer of where it is. Louis would have gone absolutely ballistic.

GET IN THE FUCKING SEA. 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡

From the ridiculous to the streets of Paris. Colbert is on his soapbox, telling everyone that he is here to remind them of the shared vision that “binds us all together. And of the wonder of our king, Louis.” Cue unpressed looks from the peasant crowd. “You have chosen to question his authority. Our great king has only one purpose. To further the glory of France. But we all must make sacrifices just as he does. We must believe as he does. Dream as he does. Suffer as he does!” Murmurs from the crowd… they are not buying it. “We must trust in him as he trusts in us.” Bastien pipes up: “Why should we trust him? What, so he can steal our money more easily?” The crowd laughs but Colbert valiantly continues: “The king steals from no one! He raises taxes which he then returns to his people. Look at his gifts! Education. Roads. Clean water. Streets like glory!” “And poverty,” Bastien adds. Another peasant heckles, “Glory my arse!” And someone grabs an egg from a cart and hurls it at Colbert and suddenly there is a barrage of food while Colbert tries for calm. Food being thrown despite their complaints of being hungry in the streets… And the guards hustle Colbert away as the crowd turns nasty.

Back in Versailles with Louis telling Bossuet of Leopold’s offering of 80% of Spain, telling the priest he must go to Rome to ensure the support of the Vatican. Bossuet is kinda not really happy, but Louis tells him to remind the Pope where his loyalties should lie, and that the bastion of the Catholic church is France. Bossuet does not see how he can influence his Holiness, and Louis calmly says if he has any doubts, then Bossuet can remain at Versailles and draw up a list of replacements for his position. Lulz. Cue a weird look from Bontemps. Much ringing of hands from Bossuet. Meanwhile Marchal and Philippe are walking through the enfilades, Marchal wanting to tell Louis what they know but Philippe is all ‘nup, he will order you to stop because he thinks I’m just making this all up.’ They agree to wait a few days before telling.

won’t anyone rid me of this chattering wench?

Leopold is getting dressed and his niece Eleanor is chattering about Spanish words and the look on Leo’s face is ….😆 Eleanor now wants to go to Spain. Leo says they are going there, and she is all ‘yay! As long as I don’t meet the king – his portrait is atrocious’ And Leo is all ‘tough. You will meet him. Because you gonna marry him. SURPRISE’ Dear Lord, the look on Eleanor’s face. Her mother is on her way there, and they will leave tomorrow. “I refuse,” Eleanor says bravely, looking devastated. Leo slaps her, then gently says, “you will be Queen of Spain* (*Spoiler: she won’t). You should be grateful.”

Back with Louis walking through the salons, and Louvois reports a bunch of Austrian nobles have been spotted making their way to Spain. Why? A family gathering, perhaps? And why do families gather? Louis muses. Louvois – “for funerals.” Louis: “And weddings.”

Sophie returns to the salons, all clean and pretty again, and people are whispering, watching her circulate. She smiles and greets Liselotte, who is alone and sad and attached to a wall.

*historical note: again, what is it with the absence of people? Liselotte, as princess, has an entourage, ladies-in-waiting, plus courtiers hanging about wanting her favour and attention. She would not be clinging to a wall like a Nigel No-Friends.

Liselotte is pleased to see Sophie, who says she has been in a convent. Sophie asks what has happened since she last saw the pregnant Liselotte, and Liselotte says she had a son…. taken from her. “On whose orders?” Sophie asks. Liselotte just stares across the room, right at Maintenon, who is chatting happily to Delphine, the Chevalier in the background. “THE KING!” Bontemps announces, and Louis walks in with the queen, heading straight for a table where the historical signing is to be conducted. Leopold bows (wtf is that “Louis” as he addresses the king of France?? Wrong.) They sit and prepare to sign, and Louis casually mentions Leo’s niece. “I would like her to stay here. We shall show her all the wonders of Versailles.” Ahhhhh, sneaky Louis. Leo is all “it’s a kind offer, but-” but Louis will have none of it. “My wife has conceived an affection for the princess. She would enjoy her company for a few months.” He looks at Eleanor – “-would that please you?” Damn right, it would. And now Leopold cannot refuse. Louis says she will be well looked after then sticks the knife right in: “who knows? We may even find her a husband.” So the camera pans the crowd, they sign the documents, Louis rises and gives a speech about being former enemies now friends, blood replaced by wine, now allies blah blah. Everyone claps as the music swells.

Festivities begin and the Chevalier is being some kind of circus ringleader, demanding a volunteer as he waves about a cane and some silk, the centre of attention. Has a joke about Philippe being missing, then Louvois’ belly, then Louis stands and volunteers. “A brave proposition from the king,” the Chevalier declares as Louis ties on the blindfold. “Olé” (lolwat) he then announces and Louis smiles and starts to blindly grope about the room as courtiers laugh and scatter. I see Maintenon deliberately putting herself in the way, but the Chevalier good-naturedly prods the king with his cane. The queen is watching, playing cards as Leopold hovers behind her, asking her for courage and then whispering something in her ear. As the king laughs and enjoys the game, the queen’s face is looking more panicky as Leo keeps whispering and Jebus, I bet my front teeth he is suggesting something along the lines of regicide… Even that is too much. Meanwhile Louis gropes about, still laughing and the doors behind him open and everyone stills, their faces dropping in shock and horror. Louis senses the mood, quickly removes the blindfold and we see Colbert, battered and bloody and with a smashed-in face. “My God.” Louis gasps. “Who did this to you?” Colbert swallows, then shakily gets out, “the people of France, sire.” Louis looks horrified.

The music swells and that is the end of Episode 2. UGH. What is in store for the next ep?

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Versailles S3, Ep2 – The one with Sophie’s return When we left our intrepid characters, Philippe had stupidly and against all sense, charged off on his own, in the night, without guards (yeah, this would never happen) to the Bastille to find out who this mysterious Duc de Sullun is.

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years

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warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright... here we go. we’re starting the big one. this... thing is almost over.

we’re going back to........ kooraheen to finish this.

time to strap in for the long haul.

did Dhurke hijack the PP show or was he just watching it and he decided to make that speech at his TV

i honestly can’t tell because of the weird way the scene was set. it looks like a reflection from a TV screen, but it also fades like a broadcast being intercepted...

fuck I'm just distracted by Dhurke’s stupid voice. and uncomfortable at the actress playing Rayfa. imagine being the princess and having your favourite show turn you into a weird damsel in distress being manhandled by ninjas. gross.

also yay! they’ve got the indiana jones orb!! time to melt off some faces...

ok it was a hijacked show... ...why is there a news report on this in America? Are American troupes assisting in the Kooraheenese war?

“Daaaa-aaaad. What’re you up to thiiiiis time???”

i love how not-giving-a-shit-about-it apollo is here. and by love it i mean hate it.

oh, your long-lost adoptive father just happens to pop up on television starting a revolution, and this is the first time you’ve heard from him in like 20 years? huh, no big deal.

AND ACE ATTORNEY TURNS INTO THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW

oh noooo... he’s one of THESE guys... ururughhhhghghgh

“Wait... don’t tell me you haven’t told anyone about me, son?”

“I’m sorry, dad, it’s just you didn’t exist up until now...”

“you just show up here without warning after all this time... what gives?”

apollo’s got a point there, pa. also Dhurke’s theme reminds me of Coach Oleander’s from Psychonauts

Apollo just instinctively knows that nobody wants to be around him unless they’re getting labour out of him. That’s... honestly really depressing. I mean I know it’s supposed to be a joke but I just can’t bring myself to laugh.

its just... apollo is legitimately so bitter and sad that i just feel awful for him.

yeesh... this whole thing just started off super sour.

wait, the piano has sentimental value to phoenix? they mentioned he never practiced on it and he didn’t like being a piano player... does that mean this piano is something phoenix just happened to own, and has its own backstory? I WANNA KNOW

(snerk)

ok thats mean but it did make me laugh

the JACKET IS APOLLO’S

IT IS APOLLO’S

HOLY SHIT

the rest of this case can be total shit but at least we figured out the mystery of the discarded red jacket.

“our houseplant was called apollo”

“was it a cactus?”

“How’d you guess?”

“cause apollo doesn’t get enough hugs, either!”

apollos dad is so cool he reads his son’s personal shit out loud. what a great guy!

“That’s too bad! You seem like you’d be a fun, cool guy to hang out with!”

when he wasn’t being a rebel and not having time for his kids, obviously.

THERE IT IS!

siblings dont know theyre siblings joke is funny both normally and ironically because the writers need to FUCKIN GET ON THAT

also i love that he’s basically like “hey son, this girl doesn't resent me! you should marry her so that i can continue to get favours out of you!”

“What did Mr. Dhurke mean when he said he was the man who raised you, apollo?” i dunno, trucy... think with your mind brains...

“How come you never told me?!”

“Sorry, it’s just, capcom hadn’t butchered my backstory at that point yet.”

I honestly find it really weird that Trucy’s all chirpy about this. She of all people should know the sting of a dad just up and disappearing on you.

Dhurke: I have to steal this orb. I’m asking you two because youre lawyers.

Kay Faraday, sitting in the Capcom warehouse: (sneezes)

Dhurke: I made a stupid gamble. Hope you can bail me out, son I haven’t seen in 20 years!

nooo.... don’t bring Kurain Village into this, pleeeeaaase... I don’t want to have my favourite village ruined for meeeeee....

:3c i chose nope

i wonder what Trucy would do if Zak waltzed in and immediately asked her for a favour. tbf phoenix would probably launch him into the sun before he could set foot into the office but...

Ok... So Dhurke doesn’t actually want to fix the legal system; he just said that he wants to gain immense spiritual power which will somehow give him the legal authority to RULE Kooraheen.

how does spiritual power have any effect on land deeds anyway?

“Only the rulers of Kooraheen have ever laid eyes on the orb, Apollo”

and Ahlbi’s seen the box.

“I figured you were poor as fuck so I brought you a plate of sushi!”

ok either A) He thought so little of Apollo that he assumed he’d just be starving on the street

or B) He’s been keeping tabs on Apollo and knows that the WAA doesn’t make a lot of cash, yet he hasn’t made any attempt to contact Apollo himself. Until he needs a favour.

what a.... great guy.

what the FUCK

“here, as my second present... a PICTURE OF YOUR REAL DAD, THE ONE WHO CARED ABOUT YOU AND IS DEAD. HOORAY!”

i can tell theyre trying to do the ‘Hagrid gives Harry a photo album of his family for comfort” but its REALLY NOT THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES.

His name was... JJ.

~as you know~

also why would a musician perform with magicians?

y’know, ive seen pictures of Jove Justice so far. and A) he looks like a tool, and B) the designers were lazy as fuck and just slapped Apollo’s hair onto Phoenix’s face. I had a pretty negative opinion of him initially. I was thinking I wouldn’t like any of Apollo’s new dads.

But you know what? If they go deeper into Jove’s backstory and prove that he was a caring father, I’m ready to completely drop any criticisms of him and carry this guy on my shoulders

cause compared to Dhurke ill bet he's a freakin angel

...welp... back to Kurain village. At least it’ll remind me of bygone days...

...heh, aw. it’s cute. i like the sparrows on the roof.

ooh! an updated theme, too! not quite as nice as the original but it is nice.

he was full of piss and vinegar

jesus

yeah, kids run around naked. its not super surprising.

“man, I miss that hut...”

apollo youre gonna make me cry;;

Ema: :) i’ll show you the way to Dr. Buff. SURPRISE, HES DEAD! AHAHAHAHHAHA

NOOO

MY SYSTEM FUCKED UP AND STARTED ME OVER FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER AAARGRRJHRFJ

id gone on a short break and i come back to this (weep)

...

does Dhurke have boobs..?

...or just extremely prominent pecs...

phew ok back on track.

wait hold on. if Dr. Buff is in Kurain village, where is he staying exactly? All the houses in Kurain village are old-style Japanese; this appears to be a modern day number.

“please tell me youre joking”

“as if i’d come out here for a few laughs, Apollo”

yeah but youre not above leading him to the dr’s study and THEN telling him he’s dead WTF

ahah. further proof that stepladders are superior.

i mean i know he didnt actually fall off that ladder by accident or whatever but still

“you could say he died an honourable death...”

...crushed under his nerd books like a fuckin cartoon :T

YEAH

POPS

POHLFUCKYA

“I’m so sorry... It seems you’ve had quite a life.”

Why else would she say that except that some poor dialogue translator is secretly begging the series to stop fucking up his backstory

“I mean, middle-aged man with long hair and an eye-patch? You don’t see that everyday.”

just give Valant an eyepatch

hang on. why does an archeologist in America have Kooraheen’s founding orb anyway? I thought it burnt peoples’ faces off. And was super precious. Queen Garananana doesn't seem like someone who’d just hand out a precious ball like that.

oh huh they found an ugly dalek. thats two dalek references in this game now...

did i just... have a ladder conversation about a relic that looks like an airplane.

why does everyone keep making blithe jokes about the doctors horrible death..? does that usually happen or am i misremembering

WHAT THE STATUE OF AMI AND THE URN AND THE GRAVY SCROLL ARE THERE NOOOOOO YOU GET YOUR SLIMY HANDS OFF THEM SOJ, PUT THEM BACK IN T&T WHERE THEY BELONG

god there’s even a coffee shelf. i guess this side of the room is the “Relics of a better game” section.

polly the clean freak. what a sweetheart :)

aw yeah baby

its printing time

oh yeah i forgot this version of printing SUCKS

but i do like the little pap sound it makes when you put down powder

...they have Datz and Dhurkes prints on file.

You guys sure rock at being undercover.

ill give them credit for having the Dance of Devotion not rhyme in English.

seeing lyrics again just gives me flashbacks to Serenade tho

Guitar, Guitar... Up together to the sky...

MAY-OR DE-WEY

MAY-OR DE-We

wait that has the same number of syllables if you just say the pun

PAUL-A TI-SHON

...why the fuck is he in a palanquin

anybody in a palanquin is bad news ALSO WHY DOES IT SAY RECLAIM THE GLORY OF KURAIN

KURAIN DOES NOT HAVE POLTIICIANS. ESPECIALLY NOT MALE ONES.

SOJ. SOJ WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY.

oh yeah he’s a bad guy

...king of this fine nation. First of all... America doesn’t have kings. Second of all, Kurain isn’t a country, it’s a small village. Either he’s a moron or SOJ is fucking up at unprecedented speeds

...did his theme song just ‘wheeee’

“Jerk Q. Public”

pffft

i wish you were golden boy. then you'd be morally questionable but entertaining.

I'm very uncomfortable

k so we’re back in Kurain and so far we’ve seen Zero women in total apart from Ema.

even the unnamed heckler was an old man.

is this the same Kurain Village I know?

wh- talk??

what do you mean talk???

i dont wanna talk to this guy he's a dickcheese!!!

Trucy’s 17 and she hasn’t studied politics at least a little yet? ...weird

“Its real name is the Crystal of Ami Fey”

wait what

“It’s been passed down for generations in the Atishon family”

WAIT WHAT

is he dicking around or is he distantly related to maya

or is he just totally dicking around

if so how dare he use Ami’s name in vain.

where is Datz from anyway

paul i dont mean to dash your hopes but becoming grand high emperor of kurain village will in fact not make you king of the world

datz sure is a good rebel... getting caught... and put in jail...........

damnit, Vore Machine, what am i gonna do with you?

well Apollo, from demon to deer. thats not bad.

dog-faced cop..??

if youre very sneakily referencing our old pal Gumshoe youve got another thing coming, Vore Machine. In the form of my fist.

“A shut-in? Sounds like it will be a challenge just to get a conversation going.”

yeah.... not like youve.... ever dealt with someone like that....... before....... hehe.... heh..............

how long has Datz been in jail if he already knows the cafeteria itinerary

um guys; maybe you should be a tiny bit more concerned about Athena??

i just realized the Shichishito is gold. It’s green, you idiots. Or is that one too bent and bloody for display??

thats it folks thats spirit of justice

apollo has become a living title drop

hes fuckin dead

what kind of bullets were those

yeah apollo, a fledgeling is equivalent to a private.

...also youre not a fledgeling youre near full experience capacity. this is your third... (and last...) year.

so Dhurke is in full stealth mode until it comes to a remotely operated drone that could have literally anybody on the other side? brilliant, pal.

this is why your revolution’s taken like 23 years to get off the ground, jsyk.

...k komandir?

i thought you were supposed to be a parody of The Soldier. what are you doing calling people by Russian military names? did the red scare not happen in this reality?

pfft

it’s so cute.

im struggling between finding it adorable and being uncomfortable

“in other words, something caused him to withdraw from the world...”

maybe his mom’s death??? maybe?????

does anyone in this game understand how a bad thing make a peoples’ brain go???

pretty impressive that a woman’s body could provide sufficient cushioning to soften such a drop.

lol. death attributed to random maniac. thanks soj.

“Private Justice! You’ve suffered a loss just like mine!”

“I have... and thats how I know how you feel.”

yes, i can remember exactly happened when i was a one-year old in diapers. exactly the same kind of pain and trauma.

look i know theyre trying to have a moment but there’s a huge difference between growing up orphaned and being recently bereaved. Sure, Apollo’s seen his fair share of hardship and his experiences aren’t to be devalued, but it’s not the same kind of pain as having your parents die later in your life, especially with the mom’s horrific demise.

Honestly, it’d make more sense if he brought up Clay, since Clay was with him since he was very small and his death was sudden and deeply unfair.

BUT CLAY’S IN THE PAST, CLAY DOESN’T EXIST, WHO’S CLAY?? I DONT KNOW BACK TO SPIRIT OF JUSTICE

YEAH

POHLFUCKYA DURKE

dhurke the burk amiright attorneys

“the opaque crystal orb is the key”

>needless adjective

>will come into play later in court

um so nobody’s gonna mention the blonde lady on his desktop background or........

i like sarge. i hope they dont turn sour when theyre revealed.

nice boot

ooh phosphorescence! neato!

pearl: hello I'm here to do something ive never done before to provide clues for this case. i hope i’ve been useful! thank you, and goodnight.

...as contrived as this is, i am glad to see someone who actually comes from kurain village.

wow, the gangs all here huh

so they renamed Eagle Mountain “”””mt. mitama”””” eh

nice...............

“you are at that age, after all...”

says apollo who's like 24

also why is she talking about all the women leaving the village? i thought it was the men. is this why i haven't seen any ladies? they all just shipped off downtown?? and of course there’s no mention of the creepy oppressive atmosphere and strictness of the village...

nice alliteration apollo

rain spirit at a bus stop and you hacks didnt make a Totoro joke?? lame

“Dj’you bring a light?”

“Ņ̮͔̜̬͖̝ͫͦ̄̒̀̾̆̓̀ͤͨ͋̓̈̑̂͗́ͤo̸̵͈͎̤͇̤̙̯͔̙͖̞̳̙̠̹̞̲̭ͣ́ͫ͌ͦ̒́͞ͅ?ͯͩͨ̾̅̈ͮ̉̀̌͛̆͑̚҉̧͓̠͎̠͎̀̀”

how can you not recognize a foreign voice you idiot

“He tried to fucking kill us but he also gave us this flashlight. To um... see our slow death by starvation better I guess?”

“We couldn’t get back to where we started if we wanted to”

if you wanted to??? thats exactly what you want!!!

Klavier: Hello! This is flashback Klavier here to say: Don’t you miss me? Haha. I miss existing too. Oh well! See you next time~ ...i if there is one.

DEAD

aw, lucky you! you lucked into falling to your death directly to where you wanted to go!

“Yes! Time to find that orb! When we have it, we can....rot here for eternity.”

...ok i know the doc found a way out but still

wHAT THE FUCK

THAT HOLE IS LIKE 40 FEET UP

...oh well, if phoenix can survive it, so can they..?

i love that there are various sea-related items scattered around that give an obvious way out but only yield “durr??? a sea thing??? how this get here??????????” when inspected

whats with dhurkes’ magic eyes

mmmmmmmm a slide puzzle great

“maybe the ppictures correspond to the song”

REALLY??

what is with this game and not outright stating the obvious? its not like it spoils the player or anything; it just makes the WAA look like idiots

fuck this I'm gonna finish this stupid puzzle without this game’s help or die trying

...ah. my personal need for pattern and order blinded me to the truth

oh well; it’s open now. i’m gonna smash Eshiro’s stupid smirking face with it.

“opening that box means you're the best lawyer ever! enjoy leaving the series forever!!!”

“A royal stole that orb”

stole it... as opposed to just taking it and doing whatever they want with it because it’s theirs and there’s absolutely no reason to have to “steal” it.

unless they wanted to frame the rebels i guess but like. theyre rebels. theyre already pretty hated

“it would be seen as utter sacrilege to let a foreign man study this artifact”

oh also it would debunk that whole “explodes your face if you look at it” thing

...here we go...

“he used to be a nice kid, but now...”

he’s an enourmous shitstain?

“he tried to convict trucy for a crime she didnt even commit...”

ok, apollo. there are a zillion valid reasons to hate sadmad, and yes, his reasoning in that trial was shit. but just being a prosecutor and doing what a prosecutor is meant to do doesn’t make him evil. he isn’t about to just roll over because the defendant’s your sis–– er, best friend.

he... could be playing the long game, and interfering could fuck up his plan, Dhurke. Also how was he a rebel and then somehow managed to get into good graces with the royals? It’s already been proven that Dhurke’s Dummy Dragon Gang suck at being stealthy or having any sense of self-preservation. I doubt they just wouldn’t recognize Sadmad

“it’s not conviction that fills his heart; it’s resignation and despair”

are you telling me Sadmad is the equivalent of a guy in a dead end office job taking it out on his coworkers

“The only thing I know for sure is... Nahyuta is suffering, and he is suffering in silence”

edgeworth: been there, done that!

blackquill: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

ya sure put a lot of stock in Sadmad, Dhurke. i mean i guess he’s your son but seriously; if you're a proper rebel you’d cut your losses and get on with shit already with or without him

...y’know, this speech about lawyers being like dragons kind of doesn’t have the same emotion impact and gravitas that the non-dragon one in T&T did.

oh how... charming...

*America’s* badge is shaped like a sunflower... and Kooraheen’s is shaped like a buggy eye.

YARGH

dont DO that

your voice is BAD

“he’s my son! therefor he has to believe in the same thing as me! nothing, not even torture could have changed him!”

cue Gredgeworth’s awkward cough from the afterlife.

“You know, I remember when Nahyuta and I were kids, he used to say with great pride ‘I have the blood of a dragon in me!’”

cue tiny apollo feeling left out and alone because he doesn’t know what kind of blood is in him

>reform court system

>rescue son

well... i guess there could be worse reasons to start a revolution.

“I mean, what are fathers for?!”

( ‘I... I wouldn’t know...’)

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, GAME

ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY HEART

YOU CAN’T GIVE APOLLO ALL THESE EMOTIONS WHEN YOU’RE ALSO SHAFTING HIS ASS AT THE SAME TIME

SHAME ON YOU

HE HAS A BROKEN ARM

HOWS HE GONNA SWIM

oh its high tide yay

oh it’s... really high tide

wow.

well this is fun. i daresay id really like this sequence... if it wasn’t in this game.

“oh no... the water might carry me up to the way out of here... how awful.”

lol can you imagine if this was timed tho

oh hey it’s the DD panic panic song. i liked that one. it deserves its spot in the suspense music roster.

y’know at this point i kinda hope he really just dies

wouldn’t that be a kicker

not that i hate apollo or anything but I'm just............... so tired

apollo’s pretty calm for a drowning person

i’ve nearly suffocated before and the only thing going through my head was AIR AIR AIR GET AIR GET AIR GET AIR AIR AIR

baby apollo: waahhhh!!! we’re both perfectly dry!!! the artist didn’t bother to make us look wet in the flashback!

A) Little Apollo doesn’t even call Dhurke “Daddy” or “Papa” despite being raised by him since infant hood, possibly meaning Dhurke gave him the ‘You’re adopted” speech pretty early. Or else kids that “aren’t really my son” have to go by name basis. See? Nahyuta calls him father.

B) Haha! Boys don’t cry, not-son! Suck those sissy tears back up into your skull, or you’ll look gay! It doesn’t matter that you’re like five and you almost drowned to death! Don’t embarrass me!

“Don’t ever hesitate to call when you need me”

oh but apollo your ass gets shipped back to america tomorrow ok

no seriously. on one hand; why did apollo get sent away? why couldn’t he be a rebel alongside nahyuta and fight for his family? on the other hand, why didn’t dhurke send nahyuta with him? if apollo’s going away because it’s dangerous, why is nahyuta staying with dhurke in the path of danger?

to be honest I'm ashamed that I'm crying, but it’s less about this scene being sad as fuck and more about the fact that I know that none of this is ever really resolved. Dhurke is still a piece of shit who made no attempt to contact apollo for years until he needed a favour out of him. and Apollo has to live with this stupid backstory because ESHIRO thought it would be dramatic and cool. Apollo’s going to “go home”, leave the series... He doesn’t even know he’s leaving his last scrap of real family who gives a shit about him behind in America.

Apollo doesn’t deserve this.

Dhurke, with superman theme playing in the background: Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Though only a heartless, shithead person, would leave you behind to die! So this isn’t great.

...is he holding him in his broken arm

wait is that arm even broken

has he just been holding it like it’s in a sling for no reason this whole time

“Still can’t swim, eh?”

oh fuck off

“Good thing your name’s not Neptune, hahahaha!”

A) OH FUCK OFF

B) NEPTUNE IS A SEA GOD, HE’D ACTUALLY BE RESISTANT TO WATER

WHOA FUCK HOLY SHIT

vore machine came out of nowhere and oh

also he is also laughing at a guy who almost drowned

well aren’t these two just the greatest men on earth huh

Trucy: :) lets make this drowning thing seem like no big deal by playing it off and not even asking if you're okay at all :))))

great... now he owes his life to him.... that completely cancels out every other piece of baggage.....

remember........ when edgeworth owed his life to phoenix......... remember how he was 100% okay after that and not fucked up at all................ remember how he just popped back into the series without any changes whatsoever apart from being phoenix’s friend again........................................

“GLAD TO SEE YOURE NOT CRYING SON; IM GLAD YOU GREW UP INTO THE EMOTIONALLY STUNTED MAN I ALWAYS WANTED, EVEN WITHOUT MY STELLAR PARENTAL GUIDANCE! THAT LONELY ORPHANAGE MUST HAVE TOUGHENED YOU UP GOOD! HAH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”

y’know in the interim i was thinking

Rebel Apollo would be great. he’d probably be an enormous goofus but at least he’d be happy and maybe Dhurke’s shitty plan would get off the ground because an actual smart person would be part of the team.

listen to that fuckin “we solved the case” music.

(sigh)

at least apollo is eating.

Turnabout Revolution... End

heh i wish

“Sure wish Nahyuta was here”

I don’t.

you fucking morons. you colossal fucking asshats. i knew this was coming

Dhurke: DURR LETS TALK ABOUT THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IN A PLACE WHERE WE KNOW THE GUY WHO WANTS THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IS! WHATS A STEALTH????

This is why the revolution has taken 20 FCKIN YEARS to take off. Because Dhurke and his band of nincompoops are all incompetent fuckwits.

huh i can see where Nahyuta gets his magic clap from.

also say it you loser say bitch

say bitch

A) If the “crystal” is a fake thing, his police report probably wouldn’t check out cause I'm P sure that people can’t just file police reports for anything without proof of previously owning it.

B) Dhurke. You’re a rebel. Shoot someone. Throw a smoke bomb. Gently jog away? Idk if that works in America but it sure as hell works in Kooraheen.

no. don’t do it. don’t you fucking do––

oh, i just saw a ghost.

The ghost of the potential any sequels past AJ had. It blinked at me sorrowfully before CAPCOM busted it and crammed it into the Containment Unit.

(sigh) Ok (most likely) fake shit aside, that would make Atishon related to Maya, and the “heirloom” would more probably be Maya’s. Why is this excuse present at all anyway it’s stupid.

Apollo it shouldn’t fuckin matter; it’s a court case. Just prove the orb isn’t the Crystal of Ami Fey and you win the case. You know that Phoenix doesn’t cheat and you’re pretty certain that the crystal really is the Founder’s Orb, so you shouldn’t be upset about anything. This isn’t a murder trial, it’s a dispute over ownership of an item. You know you’re in the right, so you ought to be able to win the trial. There’s literally no stakes apart from the fact that you’re facing your boss... but so what? That can happen... I assume, I’m not versed in that sort of thing. But either way, lawyers sometimes have to face off against each other... it happens. You had to face Nahyuta. Now you face Phoenix. Unless you think Phoenix will cheat, or that you don’t have sufficient info on the orb, then there’s legitimately no fucking problem. I mean yeah, sucks to go to court, but who gives a fuck? Win the trial and skip back to Kooraheen to overthrow the oppressive regime.

I don’t

what is the fucking problem

one of you gets payed, you both work at the same place

it doesn’t matter

APOLLO. You KNOW his methods. You know that he wins because his clients are innocent, and would graciously hand over victory if it was clear you were in the right; YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS. YOU’RE HIS BIGGEST FAN, REMEMBER??

Unless you think he’d fucking cheat for a skeezy politician for money in which case, nice. Gotta love that trust and belief that DD was building up there.

“Can I do it? Can I fight him?” YES ITS NOT EVEN A MURDER TRIAL

“May the best attorney win”

well so much for finding the truth or whatever. Also Phoenix should be proud that Apollo is willing to go up against him; it shows he’s coming into his own. There’s literally no reason for them to be on shit terms right now.

“A fine mess I’ve gotten you into, son.”

Hey shithead that wasn’t an apology. Also yeah, go on and on about how good a lawyer Phoenix is just to scare Apollo. Brilliant.

“The first step of your revolution, huh?”

The first step. 20 years and he’s only just taking the first step. Not the first step to the end of the revolution; the first step to the revolution itself.

Welp, we’re off to fight over the possession of an oversized marble in court. Seeya next time i guess...

#ooc #sulking over SOJ #soj spoilers #soj spoilers obvs]#things we've learned today: Dhurke Sadmahdi is a lazy insensitive incompetent pieceof shit

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