#remus has a bit of a meltdown

[ellecdc]

HEY POOKIE!!!!

Could I request a fic with either poly moon water or poly marauders where reader has had mental health issues but they were getting better and then they slip back into them. This happens to me in moments and I have to remind myself that it’s part of my progress but it would be so nice if I had someone else to say it too. No pressure lovely!!!!

I ADORE all of your marauders work!! Like OML I never know how much I needed poly moonwater until youuuu❤️❤️❤️😘

hi babes! totally get where you're coming from re: mental health issues. It's a marathon, not a race. and I'm so glad you love moonwater! my evil plan of converting the entire fandom (lol) is succeeding. I opted to go with the marauders but it's quite sirius centric

poly!marauders x fem!reader who is struggling with her mental health

CW: non-sexual nudity [nothing is described], discussion of dark mental headspace and anxiety/depression [again, nothing is described]

You felt awful.

You knew the boys would be understanding, but it didn’t make you feel any better about your behaviour.

You’d found yourself slipping back into familiar and darker headspaces as of late, and though you couldn’t deny the disconcerting comfort that familiarity brought, you knew you couldn’t allow yourself to fully fall back into it; you worked so hard to move beyond this, and you had been doing so well.

It hurt worse now that you felt like you weren’t just disappointing yourself anymore, but also disappointing three other people who - for whatever reason - cared an awful lot about you.  

You’d been inching closer and closer to a panic all day and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed when you got home and pretend the world didn’t exist for a few hours days weeks. 

Those kinds of plans don’t work when you live with three other people, two of which have the tendency to coddle you.

You knew that irritability was one of the symptoms of your anxiety, but knowing that didn’t stop the sting of your words as they left your lips. 

James was too nice, too bright, too happy, too lovely. You felt like the polar opposite of your sweetest boyfriend, which made you feel even more disappointing than you already had. And Remus was a fixer; he had a tendency to see a problem and immediately start problem solving, but that’s not what you needed right now.

Of course, you didn’t say that.

Of course, you got angry and lashed out at them before storming off to your room and slamming the door.

What started off as feeling blue quickly spiralled into a low affect. Feeling low left you increasingly anxious. Your anxiety left you feeling disappointing and less than, which caused you to feel depressed. The more depressed you got, the more anxious you became. The more anxious you became, the more depressed you felt.

It was a vicious cycle and you were stuck in its seemingly never ending assault on you.

And now, you weren’t just depressed and anxious; you were also feeling terribly guilty and overwhelmed at the thought of having upset Remus and James. 

Remus, who only wanted to help, who only wanted you to feel better, who only wanted to care for you. 

And James, who only wanted to perhaps share a little bit of his joy with you on the off chance it could brighten your day.

You were awful.

Horrid.

You didn’t deserve them, and they didn’t deserve you - they deserved better. You deserved nothing.

You’re not sure how long you had been standing under the spray of the water with your head against the cool tile when you heard a gentle knock against the glass of the shower door.

You felt the irritability surge in your blood again at the intrusion of your pity party, but tried your hardest to take a steadying breath before you hummed a quiet “yeah?”

“Can I come in?” You heard Sirius’ voice ask from the other side, apparently having gotten home sometime during your meltdown.

He could, though you weren’t sure he should.

You were terrible after all.

Horrid. 

The glass door popped open and Sirius shoved his face in. You didn’t bother turning your face towards him but you could feel the questions permeating his being nonetheless.

“I’m coming in.” He announced, deciding on your behalf. 

You heard the sound of his clothes falling to the bathroom floor, and you knew if Remus were in here he’d be scolding him: “there’s a hamper right there, Sirius.” 

But Remus wasn’t here because you were awful and you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the sodding hamper nor Sirius’ clothes littering the floor.

Some of your steam escaped as Sirius opened the shower door fully and you were accosted with cool air that left your body covered in goosebumps. He corrected it quickly by standing under the spray with you and pushing his front up against your back, leaning his chin on your shoulder.

“Fuck, you take hot showers.” He commented.

Usually you’d laugh.

“Sorry.” You said instead.

He rubbed at your hips where his hands had fallen with his thumbs, eliciting another layer of goosebumps on your skin. 

“You’re not feeling too good, are you baby?” He asked quietly.

You let out an exhausted breath. “I don’t feel good; I’m no good.” You responded just as quietly.

Sirius ducked his chin down to kiss your shoulder before quickly replacing it.

“That’s not true.”

You didn’t respond, glad that the water streaming over your face hid the evidence of the tears escaping your eyes.

Wordlessly, Sirius pulled away and grabbed your shampoo, working it into your hair. You did nothing to help him in his task, keeping your head pressed against the shower wall as he lathered the soap on your scalp. He pulled the handheld down to rinse it out, paying special attention to point the spray away from your face since you didn’t seem too fussed over protecting your own eyes. He combed some conditioner through your hair and rinsed it out in much the same manner before grabbing a loofa and lathering body wash over your form.

“Sometimes it’s two steps forward and one step back.” He commented, finally breaking the silence that had long been only the sound of the water falling and each of your breaths. “But that still means you’re one step forward.”

A sob escaped you, causing Sirius to pause in his ministrations and pull you back into his chest again.

He didn’t say anything else; he knew better. Of course he would, Sirius sometimes understood this side of you better than the others did. Sirius had a tendency to fall into darker times too, also having a penchant for lashing out at those closest to him when things felt like too much.

He let you cry, standing under the likely too-hot-for-his-tastes water, as he rocked you back and forth with your head leaned back, resting on his shoulder as you faced toward the ceiling. 

“Do they hate me?” You whimpered eventually, trying to convince your lungs to take in slower, deeper breaths.

“Of course they don’t; you know they don’t.”

“Are they mad at me?”

You could feel Sirius shake his head, but he answered you verbally anyway.

“No, doll. They worry, is all.”

You didn’t like that. You didn’t want them to worry. “I’m fine.”

“I know you are.” He agreed readily. “They do too.”

You let that sit in the foggy air for a little bit.

“Do you know that?” He asked eventually.

“Know what?”

“That you’re okay? That you’re just fine?”

You thought about that for a moment. You were sad, and you were anxious, but were you fine?

You admitted to yourself you felt the familiar tendrils of your darker self pulling at you, but you could also admit it was different this time. You were better, you had been working hard, and most importantly, that hard work was paying off.

You may have been two steps forward and one step back, but you were still one step forward from where you started.

“You’re sure they’re not mad at me?” You asked instead, earning you a chuckle as Sirius turned you in his arms to hold your face between his hands. 

“No one is mad at you, love. I swear it. You are, however, very loved.”

You offered him the best smile you could muster and let him pull you forward for a chaste kiss. 

“Then… yes, I know I’m fine.” You agreed eventually, earning you a beaming smile from your boyfriend.

“Atta girl.” 

Your felt your cheeks heat up at the praise and pushed your forehead into his chest.

“Can we get out of this torture chamber, now? I swear this water is being heated by hellfire.” He joked, leaning around you to turn off the shower without your consent.

“It’s really not that bad.” You argued, earning you a scoff.

“I’m red, doll. The water has marred my skin, perhaps permanently.”

You continued arguing about proper shower etiquette as you rubbed lotion into your skin (and then into Sirius’ for his troubles [he really was sort of red]), and changed into your comfies.

You headed towards the living room before you remembered you were sort of ashamed with yourself for the way you had spoken to the other two boys, but Sirius didn’t allow you to hesitate in the hall as he caught your elbow when your steps faltered and ushered you into the room.

“Boys, we’re really going to have to do something about her shower habits.” He commented as if a) nothing had happened, and b) you weren’t even there. “I’m surprised she hasn’t completely melted her skin off." 

“Perhaps hot showers are how she gets so beautiful, Sirius, ever think about that?” James jested back, earning him an indignant scoff.

“Are you saying I’m not pretty, Jamie?”

“As pretty as Y/N?” Remus interjected, looking between the two of you as if assessing. “No, not at all.” 

“Well I-” Sirius began, but you interrupted.

“I’m sorry.”

Everyone’s shoulders fell as they turned to look at you, clearly willing to brush over the tension if that had been what you wanted.

“I was rude and irritable when I got home, and neither of you deserved that. I’m sorry.”

“Angel…” James started, opening his arms for you which you readily accepted and tucked yourself into his chest.

“I was never mad to begin with, but I’ll go ahead and forgive you right now if that’ll make you feel better, okay?” He murmured into your wet hair.

“Okay. Thank you.” You murmured back.

“You’re too sweet for us, dove.” Remus commented, moving to place a consoling hand on your back.

“I was the opposite of that earlier.” You chuckled at your own expense. 

“Please.” Sirius scoffed derisively. “These two are too nice, especially when you feel like shit; I’ve given them a far harder time than you have, dollface.” 

“It’s true.” James said quickly. “He once told me he’d rather have a cup of tea with his mother than snuggle with me when he was in one of his moods once.”

You gasped and looked at Sirius in horror. “You did not.”

Sirius, not at all guilty, shrugged nonchalantly. “Sure did, and I meant it too.”

“Oh come off it.” Remus chided, pulling Sirius into his side who broke out in a grin, effectively eliminating his earnest facade. 

“No, of course I didn’t mean it.” He relented, leaning further into Remus’ side. 

“I don’t like myself very much when I’m like this.” You admitted quietly.

“We’ll love you enough for all of us in the meantime then, yeah?” James asked, pulling you into his arms tighter.

“Just be patient with yourself dove, you’re much too hard on yourself. We’re here now and we’ll be here when you feel better too.” Remus added.

“Can’t get rid of us that easily, dollface.” Sirius concluded, shooting you a wink.

Two steps forward and one step back.

But you were still one step forward.

You knew you would make two more steps forward again soon.

#ask elle #marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #poly!marauders #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders imagine #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #james potter x reader #james potter x you #hurt/comfort #poly!marauders hurt/comfort #ellecdc fics

[crushofdoves]

speaking of devouring fics where sirius' gender has been trans-ed, do you have any recs?? i know some people don't like to recommend fics so feel free to ignore if that's your vibe!

yes, i do have recs for this! here are a few off the top of my head, in no particular order:

honey sweet by @vajazzly

explicit - ft. city boy sirus who is down bad for the beekeeper with horrible fashion sense (but he’s good with this hands)

gathering home by @quietlemonhush

explicit - sirius raising regulus & harry after literally burning down his family home, remus is reg’s teacher. heavy themes but overall very funny & sweet & tender.

suffer for the people - orphan account

remus is regulus’s camp counselor, has lil bit of a meltdown and asks for his brother who comes to visit to calm him down. feelings occur. sooo cute & comforting, very fluffy.

our destiny in the stars - orphan account

explicit - remus is insecure about his (plus size, disabled) body and decides to try online dating where matches can’t see what the other person looks like. he meets sirius (trans, a teacher) and they uh - hit it off. this fic makes me smile so damn big. it’s just - it’s a classic, i’ve read it a million times.

whatever words i say - orphan account

sirius can’t stop acting out and it’s stressing out the rest of his band, so lily hires remus to keep an eye on him. obviously, they fall in love. a sweet lil band au.

a fool and his money - orphan account

explicit - chronically ill remus is roommates with regulus, meets his rich older brother and agrees to an arrangement: pretend to date sirius, show up with him to events - in exchange for money. y’all can guess where this is going and it’s so good. love a good sugar daddy/fake dating fic.

abyss by @titstraction

explicit - highschool au, remus & sirius are both on the track team and can’t seem to the same page. this fic is - so good. it’s very much a comfort read for me, but there are some heavy themes and transphobic jokes. this fic will hurt your feelings but it will also make you giggle and kick your feet and scream into your pillow.

have time to grow by queer_and_trashy

explicit - queer professor & amateur poet remus meets trans professional poet sirius - they try to get their shit together. hot & sweet and just, deeply deeply gay.

the entire rock n’ pole verse by @jennandblitz and fivepips

explicit - ace rock climber remus meets genderfluid dancer (mainly pole) sirius. this ‘verse is huge, there’s literally millions of words of it and y’all - i’ve read all of it. incredible ace representation, and overall just very sweet and sappy. mild angst, but everyone is in love & has a happy ending so don’t worry!

living like we’re renegades - orphan account

explicit - cheerleader sirius + journalist remus = everything i’ve ever wanted. i loooove this sirius so much they’re so gender.

the prettiest star ‘verse by raging_queer

tattoo artist sirius meets single dad remus - actually, sirius meets his child, teddy. sweet bonding with teddy looking up to Elder Queer sirius. very fluffy and comforting.

staying strangers by 3amandcounting

the texting fic, my fave of all-time. genderfluid sirius & demisexual remus. if there is one fic out there that will just make you want to open a window and yell about it to the other townsfolk - it’s this one. idek how to explain it, it’s just - it’s perfect.

also most of my fic features trans sirius, my masterlist is pinned!

disclaimer: this list is non-exhaustive, i know i’ve forgotten some, and i will be updating this tomorrow when i’m not half-asleep. and y’all, please reply with your fave trans sirius fics bc i want to read them all!!

#gonna reblog this tomorrow and add all my fave trans remus fics too! #@mutuals if i forgot ur fic i’m so sorry i’m on my phone and don’t have my full bookmark list i LOVE u #please add ur own recs! #trans sirius black #fic recs #wolfstar #ALSO i’m sure some of these authors do have tumblrs i just don’t know their urls or whatever so lemme know if i need to update my tags

[foursaints]

hi <3

first of all, i wanted to tell you i'm always stalking your blog (in a non creepy way) because i love everything about it. mostly i love how you use your big brain™️ to share some insanely detailed headcanons about some silly dead gay wizards (i mean that in the nicest way possible. i'm a little bit in love with you actually . anyway i'm digressing)

second of all, i wanted to know if you could share some of your thoughts about bartylily🤲🏻 because i'm fairly sure you're the main reason i'm hooked on them

much love <333

ANYTHING for bartylily... lately i've been attached to the idea of a college au where they're Rival Campus Radio Station Hosts.

barty is a spectacularly unmotivated senior who dropped out of a prestigious engineering degree to study practical SFX for horror movies instead. everyone has vague, peripheral knowledge of him after an incident where he was found passed out naked in the campus fountain. his apartment with the slytherins isn't technically a frat house but there's a structure in the kitchen affectionately referred to as the "Leaning Tower of Miller Lite" & barty has a nearly imperceptible crescent-shaped chip in his front tooth from a keg-standing mishap. he wears a lot of chains and has several john carpenter themed tattoos and he REEKS like cigarettes. so many pairs of mystery panties turn up in his laundry hamper that his housemates have started calling it the Lost And Found.

he has a deeply beloved & charmingly unpolished radio show in the primetime spot which mostly consists of him having his friends on, spotlighting terrible underground bands, and making drily ironical, beautifully mean jabs.

lily is an overzealous sophomore who's triple-majoring in three equally unmarketable degrees (it's, like, polisci & international affairs & communications) who's blessed with the gift of taking every single thing that happens on campus WAY too serious. she runs their Model UN like it's the navy. she's the RA who is always marching around her floor in a spaghetti-strap tanktop & bunny slippers with a scrunchie on her wrist, shaking her fist at people. there was a period following her breakup with james where she was literally reading Machiavelli for inspiration. she's right on the precipice of the cool-girl academic meltdown that will lead to Serious Character Growth, but she isn't quite there yet.

her well-made and well-researched radio show is relegated to the midnight timeslot, and even though all her friends listen to it she probably got into a spat with them for saying something along the lines of "obviously i dont care if its just YOU listening to it, remus!!!". she hate-listens to barty's show which she considers (lily voice) An Affront To Collegiate Journalism

they trade barbs at every function and absolutely nobody but the two of them takes their insane imaginary Radio Beef even remotely serious whatsoever. but it's dead serious TO THEM!!! lily is probably camping out in actual bushes with actual binoculars to sabotage his show, and the worst part is that it's actually working. she ISN'T obsessed with him (shut up!!!!!), and barty is mostly just aggravated on principle that the Uptight Lowerclassman Ruining His Life has such nice legs.

and they absolutely bone like crazy about it

#a #this anon made me emotional... warming my ice cold heart #im in love with you too. sorry for getting carried away... they inspire me. #bartylily #t #my lily is usually kind of burnt out & has a shoplifting problem so its nice to have an au where she can be dorkier. #barty is the same as always & i need to **** *** **** about it #one thing about my bcj is that he will always be the worst man on this earth and i'll still love him despite #still a better boyfriend to her than james. sorry #im posting this one a bit late but I always trust that bartylily will find its audience #+ nobody come at me for calling those degrees unmarketable! i am an English major so it's friendly fire !!!

[disenchantingwrites]

James Potter dating Reader w/ Sensory Issues hcs:

James Potter x Neurodivergent GN!Reader

A/N: James Potter is my comfort Marauder, and I’m having a bit of an issue settling into my new place, so I’m using my current Marauders hyperfixation to cope.

---- ---- ---- ----

James was always aware of the fact people had different withstanding of different textures. Like, he didn't mind the feeling of a microfibre cloth, but Remus hated them.

When he started hanging around you, he didn't really notice until the first few dates.

It was small things that he brushed off, like how you recoiled when your hand brushed against the arm guard of his Quidditch uniform, or when you scrunched up your face at a stray mushroom that had managed to invade your meal.

Over time, James noticed that it was a lot more than just not liking how things felt.

It was one time, and he still feels guilty when he remembers, but he and the marauders had let off fireworks as part of a rather elaborate prank.

The lights and loud sounds had been too much for you, and you fled, trying not to shut down or have a meltdown.

He immediately noticed and rushed after you, only to find you in a corridor sitting against a wall with your eyes screwed shut and your hands basically pressing your ears back into your skull.

He tried asking if you were okay, but you could only shake your head, having already gone non-verbal. So he sat there with you, keeping a few centimetres between you in case you didn't want him to touch you.

Then you seemed to calm down in his eyes as you scooted closer, closing the gap, just leaning your weight on him.

"Was it the fireworks?" A pause, and then you nodded. "Sorry."

The next day you decided to explain to James how you had a lot of issues when it came to sensory input, sounds, lights, touch, smell, taste, all of it.

You then notice how he changes things that he does so that you're more comfortable. His arm guards? always always put away. The sweater that you hate touching? He never wears it around you (it wasn't all that nice anyways).

Even things in everyday life he makes adjustments to because he doesn't want you to feel overwhelmed.

No more mushrooms. No more sticky spots at the table because he makes sure they're covered if he can't move.

And if there ever is a time when you're overwhelmed, he takes you away and sets you up with any item he knows you're comfortable with during your overload episodes.

"James..." "Yes?" "This is great and all, but... can you come here?" "For a hug?" "Yeah."

James is always there to hug you. He's like a big bear.

The only issue is that he's slightly reluctant to let you go once he has you. But if you're really struggling, he's off, and he's away.

All in all, James is learning constantly how to improve and how he can help you whenever you need him, so he does make mistakes, but it's okay. you truly couldn't ask for anyone better than him.

#x reader #disenchanting writing #marauders #gender neutral reader #marauders era #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #the marauders #james potter #james potter headcanon #neurodivergent reader #neurodivergent #james potter x reader #sensory issues #x neurodivergent reader

[loonsmoons]

The Marauders and how they’d react to/feel about spiders, because I had a meltdown when I found one in my room this morning :)

James: Freaks out. Screams for someone to get rid of it, but insists on not killing it (it is a living organism after all). “NO, PUT IT OUTSIDE, JUST PUT IT OUTSIDE! FURTHER AWAY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT WILL CRAWL RIGHT BACK IN!”

Sirius: Freaks out as well. But it gets UGLY. You know that meme of that crying woman pointing at the white cat? That’s him pointing at the spider. He also does not care if it’s a living organism, he wants to see it DEAD. “I don’t CARE if it’s more scared of me then I am of it, KILL. IT.”

Remus: Doesn’t care about them, never has. He’s kind enough to take them outside for James and Sirius with that glass and paper trick, but not before pretending to accidentally have dropped/lost it on one of their beds. Because he IS an asshole.

Peter: Used to find them scary, but from the first time on when he came into the dorm and found James and Sirius standing on their beds/desks screaming, he became the knight in shining armour and took it out (not outside, OUT). (He became a little terrified again though the first time he saw one as a rat: “This shit’s GIGANTIC!” But then again, he thought of everything as gigantic … “And- and then Remus … Jeez, he looked like a fucking giant! And Sirius- … Well you were there too, ig”)

Lily: Very much not scared. Thinks they’re fascinating actually. If she finds one outside, crawling over her picnic blanket or smth, she’ll let it crawl over her hand and curiously watch it.

Mary: Will watch it with Lily, joking about being jealous of its long legs. And then she’ll insist on letting it crawl onto her hand as well, but as soon as it does, she’s all “Nonono, take it off. TAKE IT OFF”

Marlene: Very similar to Sirius, perhaps less tears and more aggressive screaming. “KILL IT, FUCKING. KILL. IT.”

Dorcas: Just … Does not care. She’ll find one in her room and goes “Okay cool, you live here now as well, ig” Occasionally she will talk to it like: “Jeez Timmy, you better know how lucky you are … Imagine just not having to write Transfiguration essays …” (Wait, you don’t, do you? Or are you an animagus? You better not be …”)

Pandora: Loves them. Even has a pet spider she’ll force everyone to cuddle with. She’ll occasionally lose it too, and everytime some brave soul brings it back to her, she’s like an old lady with her cat: “Tsk tsk tsk Garry, where have you been again, huh?” Just leaving, not even thanking the person that brought Garry back. So they stand there, awkwardly, as Pandora moves away like: “Always exploring the neighbourhood, aren’t you, lil guy?”

Regulus: Doesn’t really mind them either. Very similar to Dorcas, but he’s a bit more fascinated by them, like Lily. He will look through several books to find out what kind it is, and just … sit there and watch it, or draw it in his sketchbook

Barty: Says he’s all chill around them, until Evan next to him clears his throat and he’s reminded of last week, when he was screaming and crying and running from a leave that fell into his lap, which to him looked like a spider

Evan: Maniac. Will carry them out with his BARE HANDS. Just grabbing it off the wall. And unlike Remus he won’t just pretend to drop it, but actually drop it onto Barty’s bed. (He regrets that every time though, because for an entire week after, Barty insists on sleeping in the common room, even if the spider’s long gone by then). If he finds Pandora’s spider he’ll keep it for another day or two, playing and cuddling with it “What? I’d do the same if it were a cute lil kitten” “Well you see, it’s NOT a cute lil kitten … IT’S A MONSTER FROM HELL!”

#loonsmoons #headcanon #marauders #slytherin skittles #i'm very much a Remus ofc #i was completely fine when i found it #obviously :) #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #pandora lovegood #regulus black #barty crouch jr #evan rosier

[astrologiaaa]

the sides as my stims i have because i'm autistic and THEY ARE TOO!!! + a few headcanons

first off, stim warning? do people do those anymore? anyways. all the sides are autistic this is my essay. everything under the cut :3

Logan ; rubbing his jaw/collarbone repeatedly + repeating a certain word (usually big or a reference to something) > it would be funny if his favourite word to stim was infinitesimal. i genuinely really like that word

Roman ; running his hands through his hair/rocking back and forth + singing > whenever i sing as a stim it's usually a bit of my favourite song and i do it so much i hate the song after a while so i can imagine roman doing that with various disney songs and getting extremely upset about it

Patton ; rubbing his knuckles/palms together + chewing on everything > multiple of patton's shirts are damaged at the collar/sleeves because of his chewing (me core) so logan got him multiple sets of chewlery for his birthday

Virgil ; hand flap + pressure on headphones + echolalia (he's special he gets 3) > virgil's echolalia gets really bad when he's extra stressed/overstimulated and he's definitely almost sprained his wrist before during a meltdown and got even more upset when it hurt and he couldn't stim right for a while (definitely not based on me having a sprained wrist and being unable to stim)

Janus ; running his hands along his arms/ribs (virgil stole his second stim/j) > i have really bumpy/textured skin but with janus he has SCALES so it's even.. stimmier?? i don't know

Remus ; hitting his hips/chest/collarbone + screaming > his stims are extremely concerning to everyone but virgil and janus at first (they're used to it and know he's not actually trying to hurt himself)

#astrologiaaa #sanders sides #logan sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #ts sanders sides #autism #autistic

[mokkkki]

SWTE A1 C10: 5 Winners, 5 Losers 

"Put that in the cauldron on low heat. And kill yourself after. Thanks."

Set in Eurus, a tech and media conference/winter camp for billionaires, Chapter 10 of Sleeping With The Enemy was probably my favorite one to write so far- either for the Princess Mononoke reference or the moving pieces that are kicked into motion. With that, here are the 5 winners and 5 losers from "I Am Landed", as chosen by the very biased person that wrote it! There will be spoilers below the cut.

Winner: James Potter

I hesitated to put James in as a winner because he almost got stabbed, didn't get to brew anything, and his coworker (Remus) had a meltdown, but he proved his innocence to Regulus, and was believed! Granted, he did use unconventional methods to do so, but who can fault him when he got such good results?

Winner: Emma Vanity & Evan Rosier

While Vanity experiences professional victory, complimented by Regulus several times and even high-fived by him, Rosier, who wastes no time flirting with the Eurus attendant, experiences a recreational one. Additionally, we find out that they've made an Unbreakable Vow to never betray Regulus, which has essentially secured them for life.

Winner: Lucius Malfoy's Hair

It's difficult for Regulus to compliment anything without feeling immediately vindictive after, so it was terribly surprising to get a paragraph in which he waxed poetic about Malfoy's hair. I swear I had NO IDEA why I started writing that, only that I was literally shaking with laughter afterward - convinced I was possessed by the "symphony of luminous strands".

Winner (thinks he's a loser): Regulus Black

From an objective standpoint, Regulus is doing pretty well, so far: his father has trusted him to find a spy, destroy Potter, and speak to Riddle's opposition candidate. It's becoming rapidly clear that out of all of the Black spawn, it's Regulus whom Orion trusts the most to deliver corporate duties. Additionally, Vanity secures a dinner with the potential Miss President, Pettigrew snitches on Lucius, and he exchanges the most heartwarming texts with his daughter, reminding us that he does actually have a heart. If that wasn't enough, James also calls him beautiful, even at the receiving end of getting stabbed in the throat, and proves to Regulus that he's trustworthy. He's fucking killing it. But none of that seems to matter to Regulus, who is torn between conflicting emotions regarding sex, attraction, and his father, ending the chapter by sitting and staring dramaturgically on the shower floor.

Loser: Lucius Malfoy

Regulus Black knows he's a spy, and next chapter he plans on exposing it. Do I need to elaborate?

Loser: Narcissa Black & Sirius Black

We didn't get much of the Black kids other than Regulus, this chapter, with Bellatrix being entirely absent, but things aren't looking so hot for either of them; not only are they both hosting the conference their father/uncle eloquently deems "bullshit", Narcissa is the one who brought Lucius along to Eurus, and Remus' poaching isn't making Sirius look too good, either. Not only that, Sirius is imposed under a strict set of rules, and Regulus is starting to question which side his brother is on.

Loser: Orion Black

We're not sure what it is exactly that's being leaked or threatened to leak - only that it has to do with Cygnus, Orion's brother, who he started Greyscar with. Still, he doesn't appear happy about it, which means that we can kind of assume the worst. Also, my heart is still a little bit broken over Regulus putting on his headphones for him :(

Loser: Remus Lupin

Last time we saw Remus, he was just screamed at by Sirius, James, and Regulus - I think it's safe to say he patched things up with Sirius, but it wouldn't be a stretch to say that James is starting to grow uneasy about his motives, and his rather Slytherin philosophy of "the ends justify the means".

read chapter 10 here!

#fanfic #regulus black #james potter #narcissa black #lucius malfoy #orion black #evan rosier #emma vanity #dead gay wizards #the mauraders #wolfstar #jegulus #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #swte #winners and losers #winners and losers act 1

[znowubolimnienoga]

thinking about a roman that is so extremely attracted to his twin sister he struggles to hide it in their day-to-day life, as he's usually very passionate and vocal about what he wants -- so of course, with them living together every day is like going through a minefield (of him slipping up and letting himself show his only trace of perversion, of something that would definitely tear them apart and etc).

a roman that stops speaking halfway into his sentence, because he realizes that would make him too obvious, that there's this raw unfiltered want pouring out of his every pore even when they're doing the most basic of things, like picking up their laundry from the laundromat, or making soup together.

a roman that only lets his obsession show when he's having a meltdown, when his sister has been bothering him (poking and taunting him and asking 'what's wrong?' at least a million times) for hours while he's been having a pretty terrible day and - all his defenses go down the second he fights back and has her against the wall

x

a remie (fem!remus) that loves him quite a bit and would do anything for him, even when she isn't attracted to him, and even if comforting her brother means letting him do anything he wants with her. just to calm him down, of course.

#remrom #sterero #and i mean they love each other in different ways

[cheeryknots]

Messrs Moony, Whiskers, Padfoot & Prongs’ Autumn Bucket List

It's Remus, Sirius, Lily, and James' final year of college, and they're determined to make their last autumn with all of their friends one they'll never forget. Full of fun fall activities, the clumsy, yet wonderful art of falling in love with your best friend (x4!), and countless cozy cuddles.

read here on ao3 <3

woo! i never post my fics on here anymore after i had a meltdown about my writing in july, but i'm feeling a *bit* more confident now and figured i may as well start posting them again.

writing this has given me something to look forward to each day. originally, this was supposed to be 3 chapters long, 15k words max. i'm currently 50k words deep with no sign of slowing any time soon.

i think this has been my way of taking back my favorite season after a bad breakup early this year. so many memories felt tainted, and with every chapter i write of this, i feel like i'm healing just a little bit more.

it's been a shitty year, but things like this make things a lot lighter. having people here i can talk to helps immensely. i love it here, i love creating things like this, and i have a thousand more ideas i can't wait to write. but in the meantime, i'm having too much fun with wolfstar carving pumpkins together and dancing in the flickering candlelight.

#cheery writes #wolfstar #rosekiller #pandalily #jegulus #autumn fic #ongoing #fic: autumn bucket list

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Complementary: Two Halves

So I know you *just* wrote Complementary, but it was so good and I’m already thinking about more, like how do the other sides react/apologize to Remus? Especially Roman and Janus! - stealing babies

HELLO YOU *POINTS* YOU ARE SO COOL AND ALL YOUR WRITING MAKES ME WANNA BITE DOWN ON MY TEETH CAUSE IM SMILING SO MUCH YOU HAVE AN AMAZING WRITING STYLE AND FUCKING BRILLIANT SENSES CAUSE YOUR WORDS EVOKE EMOTION AND ITS SO SO COMFY AND IM INSPIRED BY YOU *inhale exhale* im sorry if that comes off too strong, your writing makes me Feel Good Things(TM), please keep doing your thing :D i also have a sander sides request *jazz hands* that is entirely optional, if you happen to stumble upon an opportunity to do more with roman and remus together bonding and playing with each other as reconciled adults cause they didn't get to do that often when they were kids (like shenanigans yk tattling on each other, tickle fights and rough housing all in good fun, and *whispers with faux conspiracy* brotherly affection) then that would be dope as fuck!!! BONUS points if all the other sides or even c!thomas watch and shake their heads fondly like "what sillies they are, can't take our boys anywhere" - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: body dysphoria, not taking good care of yourself, borderline self-harm I guess?? meltdowns

Pairings: none

Word Count: 2911

    Some days he can't put on all the masks and disguises and armors. Some days he just needs to be messy.

He shoves food into his mouth just so if someone asks if he ate, he doesn't have to lie, shoveling bread and cut-up vegetables into himself over the sink, pausing to breathe until he's had enough to constitute dinner.

Off with his clothes. They itch and rasp against his skin like sandpaper because how dare he feel sensations, how dare he try to exist in the world without protection from it, and so off they come in the bathroom as he turns the shower on high. He gives himself time to run a brush roughly through his hair before he jumps in.

The water hisses and crackles and he's somehow still cold.

He shoves shampoo along his scalp with all the finesse and tenderness of a push broom. How dare his body express its own needs and require maintenance when all it does is betray him? He squeezes his eyes shut in punishment as the suds run down his wretched face.

Sharp nails scratch against his scalp and the zing of the suds against the hot water tears through the boiling haze in his brain.

So he does it again.

And again.

And again.

When all the shampoo is gone he keeps going, moving down his neck, his chest, his arms, his legs, his back, anywhere and everywhere he can reach as dead skin starts to peel off of him in waves and waves of little gray pill-shaped balls.

He doesn't stop until he has to pick them free from his nails.

He shoves a brush roughly under them to scrub away the bits that got stuck there and turns off the shower. He towels off brusquely and rakes his hair back from his face.

Scrub your face like you can rub it off if you try hard enough.

Scrape the toothbrush along your mouth as though it can clean your words too.

Drag a comb through your hair and shove it back so you don't have to look at it anymore.

Hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt.

No one is here and he can be as messy as he wants.

He slaps the wall to turn out the lights and drags sleeping clothes on and flops gracelessly onto the bed. The sheets are cold and rough against tender and scratched skin and he rolls around like a guilty pig in the mud, horrific in his tangibility. Manic energy that fizzles and strains like rope keeps him moving as he gets dizzy and sore and still he keeps moving.

Don't you see, part of him screams, don't you see how hard I have to work to keep this hidden? Don't you see how much effort I put into not being so horrible and disgusting?

Don't you understand how awful it is to be trapped in this wretched body? Do you honestly think I do all of this on purpose, that I would choose to be this thing?

His mouth opens and his jaw aches to bite.

But bite marks are obvious. Bite marks can be noticed. Bite marks can be pointed at and asked about and scratches can be anonymous.

So he doesn't bite.

But oh, god does he want to.

When he's finished, when the worst of the energy is gone and he's given up completely, he can pant against his sheets and crawl under the covers to bury his face in a pillow.

There is freedom in being a mess.

And none more so in realizing that no one could ever grow to care for such a wretched thing and perhaps that is the greatest freedom of all.

I am weak, my love, and I am wanting.

A line from a song he'd heard in passing that crawled through his brain like a livewire. Weak because he was too fragile and breakable to ask for what he wants, and wanting because he was shamefully weak and unable to pass through the world by himself.

In these shameful moments during weak and wanting times, he allows himself to dream.

Dream that someone would notice his hands were hurting and reach out to take one in theirs, pulling it into their lap and helping to coax sensation back into it.

Dream that someone would come to him and just hold him without first lecturing him on how foolish and arrogant he'd been.

Dream that someone, somewhere, somehow would be capable of loving a mess.

But he is too much ashamed and too much ruin to allow such dreams to become hopes. That's not his job.

He clutches pillows instead, cuddles into something that can't shy away under the covers of fabric and darkness. He tries in vain to fight off the voices that remind him how little anyone touches him; tensing, flinching, pushing him away, or cursory shoulder pats that feel like ash on his skin.

Too loud, too brash, too messy.

He really does try not to take it so personally but sometimes…sometimes his hands have other plans and he drops whatever it was that he'd been holding.

Which only makes a bigger mess.

He closes his eyes tighter and hugs the pillow.

Tonight is already shameful enough, he can let himself dream too.

A dream that maybe would come and just think to check on him. A dream that wouldn't lead with accusations and disappointment. A dream that would ask if he ate out of concern and not worried skepticism.

Yes. Yes, he can dream about this dream.

The dream would come in and softly ask if he's okay. If no answer came, they would come closer, close enough to sit on the edge of the bed. Maybe they would reach down and feel around a bit to find his head before lifting up the blankets.

The dream might see his face, upset and weak and messy, and let out a sympathetic noise. Maybe they would ask if there was anything they could do to help and mean it, not just use it to start another lecture.

Maybe…maybe the dream would want to touch him.

Maybe the dream would lie down too, carefully situating themselves under the covers and reaching out to cup his face. The dream's hands would be warm and gentle as they moved closer so the pillow was in between them. They might smile and tease softly about how they were a much better cuddler than the pillow.

He clutches the pillow a bit tighter out of reflex.

But the dream would coax it away. But lightly, as if they were taking a blanket from a frightened pup so it could be wrapped around them properly. The dream would settle it near the headboard and smile softly to say there, that's better, and—and—

A horrible strangled half-sound leaves his throat and his teeth sink into the pillow before he can stop it.

Oh, he is awful, truly, he can't bite the dream, he can't be such a mess—even the dream would be affronted and pull away from him at that—he can't—he can't—

But maybe…maybe it would be okay? If—if he just bit their clothes or something and not—not them?

They might say it's just clothing, it's nothing so bad. The dream might say that he can bite if he needs to but it might be better to chew on something soft.

…what would it be like to have someone who…who cared like that?

To have it be okay to be a mess and not have to stop it?

This dream is going to make him cry, isn't it? All over its metaphysical self.

That's okay too, the dream would say, you can cry. There's nothing wrong with crying, crying is alright.

They would take him gently into their arms and—and just hold him and that would be okay and—and—

Shh, shh, it's alright. Don't hurt yourself trying to stop it.

He bites again. Harder.

Breathe, I need you to breathe. You're hurting yourself, that's it, just hold onto me.

His grip tightens on the pillow until it groans in protest.

I'm right here. You're alright. It's alright, I'm not leaving. You have me, see? It's alright, it's alright.

It's not alright.

It is, Re, I promise it is.

Dreams can't promise.

No, maybe not, but I can.

You're a dream.

I'm not, Re.

Yes, you are.

Open your eyes, then, look at me.

That is cruel. To give him hope like that and then rip it away and make it seem like his fault.

Open them, Re, I promise.

He shakes his head. He won't do it. He can't.

…why does his pillow smell like that?

"Re?"

…no.

"Re, come on, I'm right here."

No.

"Shh, shh, Re, come on, I got you."

But—but—

"It's not a dream, Re, it's not. Just open your eyes, Re, look at me."

And because he is weak and he is wanting, he opens them.

"Re," Roman murmurs, looking far too tender and far too real, leaning down to brush the tip of his nose against his forehead, "oh, Remus, I'm so sorry."

Roman is here. Roman is here and Roman is holding him and Remus is crying, sobbing, shaking in his brother's arms.

"I'm right here," Roman keeps murmuring, "I'm right here, okay? I'm right here and I'm not letting go of you. I've got you."

"R-Ro—Roro—"

"Yes, it's me, it's Roro, I'm right here. I'm so sorry, Remus, I'm so sorry for everything, I've been so awful to you—"

"Ro-bro."

And because Roman is still his other half, even when they haven't been whole in years, he knows exactly what to do. He rolls over so he's squishing Remus into the bed with their chests pressed together so Remus can feel him breathe, grounding him against the cold sheets and he feels warm, warm, warm.

"Right here," Roman says again, "right here, Remus, I'm right here."

"Roman," Remus can't stop chanting, "Ro, Ro, Ro, Roro, Roman, Ro-bro, Roro—"

"It's okay. It's okay, Re, it's okay."

Remus collapses into a mess of crying and clawing and biting, attacking Roman's clothes with a borderline desperation, trying to shove himself into Roman's chest, drunk and high off the realization that Roman is here.

Roman lets him. Doesn't pull away, doesn't shy back, doesn't even flinch.

Just stays.

It's the greatest gift anyone could ever have given him.

"I'm sorry," Roman murmurs again when he finally sags into the bed, exhausted, "I'm sorry I left."

"You left," Remus parrots, still swimming in the pressure of Roman holding him like he's something precious, "you left me."

"I know. It was wrong and cruel and I wish I could take it back. I wish I'd never let them separate us. I wish—I wish I'd been there for you."

"You left…but you came back."

"You're my brother, Re," Roman mumbles and his voice feels thick, "you're my brother and I love you."

The words punch a hole clean through Remus's chest and he sobs again. "You left me. You left me and—and it's so cold, Roro."

Without letting Remus go, Roman reaches down and tugs the blankets over them. It grows hot and unbearable in no time and there's nowhere Remus would rather be. He turns his head, almost in disbelief, and presses his teeth lightly to Roman's shoulder again.

"Did…did I hurt you?"

"No."

"But I…I was so messy."

Roman's quiet for a moment, then his grip tightens even as he leans up and away, just so he can peer down at him. Roman's eyes are red and swollen too, he's been crying into Remus's shoulder too? "You're messy and you're still my brother. I don't care if you're messy. I don't care, you hear me? You're Remus and your mess is great because it's yours."

"But you—you hate my mess. You said it's everything you don't want to be."

"I am not you. I don't hate your mess. I love your mess because it's yours and I could never hate you." Something pained crosses Roman's face. "I…I tried. It didn't work. I still loved you even when I hated it."

"You did?"

"I did. And then—then I realized that I didn't give a fuck about what they thought of you because you were Remus and you were—messy. I like it when you're messy because that means you're being you."

Something thick and heavy rises to the back of his throat. "You…you like my mess?"

Roman's expression softens and he sniffles too. "Yeah, Re. I like your mess. I don't—I won't lie and say I get it all the time or that I want to be messy too, but I like your mess."

His teeth sink into the fabric over Roman's shoulder before he can stop it.

"Is that—is that good? Is that okay?"

He nods as best he can without letting go and he knows he doesn't imagine the way Roman sags on top of him.

"Good," he pants, "good, I…I really miss you, Re."

A pained whimper leaves Remus's throat and he clutches Roman tighter. Roman lets him, lets him pull him as close as he wants, gently murmuring into the curve of his neck. It's okay. I'm here. You got me. I love you.

Roman is hopes and dreams and Remus is weak and wanting. And so when Roman quietly offers to spend the night, just so Remus knows next morning that this can't have been a dream, Remus tells him that he'd better get comfortable because he's not allowed to leave until breakfast.

Maybe not even after that.

Things are better now.

He still has to put on all the stuff to go and interact with the others for long periods of time, but he can stand next to Roman and play with his stimtoys when things get too much. He can go out into the Imagination and not have to worry about hiding things because Roman is there too, spurring him on and making sure he knows that he can make whatever he wants because this is their domain, no one else's. He can curl up in the safety that Roman gives him and not have to worry about being ostracized for being a mess.

It's more than he ever dared hope for.

And Roman loves him for it.

He tackles Roman for the first time when Roman shows him the kraken lake he's been working on for Remus and Roman lights up at the idea that he can show Remus affection like that. He playfights with Remus in the Imagination and they both end up covered in grass stains and dirt more times than he can count. Roman tackles him into the lake once and they spend the day tearing up old kelp so that the babies have enough free space to swim. He curls up around Roman on the beach as they laze in the sun like overgrown housecats and Roman sings him stupid songs they came up with when they were younger.

And when he needs to be messy and have someone else just be there, Roman conjures a massive nest of blankets and soft things for them to roll around in so they don't hurt themselves. He wraps Remus up in blankets until he's a little Side burrito and they watch kid's shows that make them feel like they're still Creativity. He lays his head on Roman's shoulder and chews on his necklace that Roman gave him and it's okay that he's a mess.

He's Roman's mess and Roman's his brother again.

And that's all okay.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @ultrageekygirl

#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus

[colgatebluemintygel]

The thoughts about their experiences with family and grief hurt on many levels. R sees that s has parents who are rich and still alive and probably feels a bit jealious and cant understand how s seems to resent it. S is self aware enough to know that outwards his family seems ideal and struggles with how he could let people know how things actually are (maybe even afraid that they wont believe him). As seen in OAO he feels that he takes up too much space and r's mom has just died so he feels guilty ab burdening him with this and r will later feel guilty ab his anger/not understanding the situation. I am shaking. I want to hug them both. (Also yes, I believe that s really craved even a smallest hint that his parents cared. He couldnt live with them but leaving didnt really make it easier bc he understood that he lost all hope of having his birth parents love.)

yes yes yes !!!! absolutely!

the difference in class and privilege absolutely factored into it as well (as mentioned in oao, remus was one of the only kids at that school not from an affluent background, and it was definitely alienating for him, especially as two of his best friends grew up amongst immeasurable wealth (i picture peter's family to be more upper middle class than upper class like s and j, but it's still different to remus's background). definitely every now and again sirius would say really out of pocket things relating to how his parents treated him, but i think once he noticed his friends reactions, he'd also immediately backtrack and try to play it off as a joke. so for the others it was tricky to get a handle of the severity of the situation, and what was true and what wasn't. i think early on, some of the other boys (i'm thinking frank etc) would have made little jokes about sirius and his rich boy problems (ie: i imagine sirius would always be sad on his birthday—he'd receive these expensive presents, but they were never be meant FOR him; they were status symbols. and they just served as a reminder that his parents don't see him for who he is, and they don't love him for who he is -> cue meltdown. and i imagine remus would be looking in on this kinda like ??? perhaps internally thinking that sirius is being a little bit ungrateful (again, gift giving has a totally different meaning in remus's family). he'd NEVER say that out loud (well. aside from their big blow out argument), but in his head he'd be like.... rich boys.......) (while also being like :-(( my poor pretty padfoot :-(( and fantasising about kissing the tears from sirius's cheeks xx (all this conflict chat makes me want 2 reiterate !! remus ADORES him. like so SO much. this whole situation was such a change from their usual dynamic, it really threw everyone for a loop))

and YES and as you say: sirius's mouth works faster than his mind a lot of the time, and he would make comments maybe about wishing his parents harm, and it absolutely sent remus reeling. their main fight occurred over something incredibly minor (it was months and months of emotional build-up on both ends), but each of these little comments were a blow to remus </3 and of course sirius was never ever trying to cause harm. he had no real way of knowing what was happening with hope, because from the outside it just looked like something had happened to remus, who was now suddenly super reserved with himself and his body and seemed to be totally caught up in self-loathing. and i think sirius resonated a lot with that (even if he was expressing it all in a completely different way).

but yes... the idea that s takes up too much space. it's sort of all he's ever known. he was never taught how to emotionally regulate himself; he was always just punished. and that link between his emotions and punishment is so embedded in his psyche that even if his birth parents aren't around anymore to punish him for his emotions, he does it himself.

SOBS poor poor babs :-((((

#oao #on a totally different note it always makes me giggle when people say they see oao as a happy and fun fic (which happens often!) #i suppose it probably does read like that !! #but as i'm writing it i'm just so aware of how much sadness is baked into both of these characters #and sirius's mind is not always a very happy place to be :-(

[noeiiie]

the only heartbreaker

           He meets Remus on a Monday.

           It’s his sixth year, and he’s pretty settled in. He has his best friends, James and Peter, and they’ve even made a name for themselves. The Marauders. His grades are fine – he does good in literature but he’s shit at maths – he’s away from his parents and with the Potters, who are much better family, and life is going good.

           And then he meets Remus.

           Remus excels at school, and he’s willing to help out a friend even if helping out does mean a little sharing of answers. He’s mischievous, but in ways that they aren’t. They’re loud and brash, him especially, but Remus is subtle. He’s good at planning, and he has this glint in his eyes and smirk that reminds Sirius too much of a sly fox. He’s witty and has dry humor, and he’s a great balance.

           Really, Remus is perfect.

           Anything he sets his mind to, he can do. Sirius is half-convinced after a month of knowing Remus that if the man wanted to find the cure for cancer, he surely could. But no, instead he devotes that brain to pranks and helping out his friends, waving off Sirius when he says he’s wasting his talents.

               He kisses Remus for the first time on a Tuesday.

           They’re eighteen, about to go to uni, but different ones. Remus is packed up and ready to go, and Sirius can’t bear the thought of not seeing him every day. He’s become too accustomed to having Remus as a daily fixture of his life, and he’s already had a meltdown about losing the boy forever, which James had to calm him down from.

           And he looks so good. It’s an old red sweater, but it fits the tan Remus is sporting from when his family went on holiday, and he looks just cozy and right. Remus is staring down at his feet, hands in his pocket, like he isn’t sure what to say, and the move itself is so Remus it hurts – it’s perfect, he’s perfect – and Sirius kisses him. He has to.

           He’ll regret it if he doesn’t, and he’ll regret it if Remus doesn’t return it and he’s just ruined a friendship. But Remus kisses him back, and the world starts to spin, and the kiss is perfect. Of course it is. It’s Remus, and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Remus do anything wrong in his entire life.

           The word looks brighter, more vibrant, and Remus is smiling at him with rosy cheeks. Remus takes his hand, and promises to call, kissing him again right before he leaves.

               He has his first date with Remus on a Wednesday.

           It’s a surprise, really. They’re dating, because Remus asked him two weeks into the semester when he couldn’t take Sirius tiptoeing around the question anymore. They see each other on some weekends, when everyone gets together, but they’re never alone. He can kiss Remus, but he doesn’t have much time to do anything else.

           But then it’s Wednesday two months in, and there’s Remus outside his apartment. He has a bouquet, and it’s sunflowers because of course they are, this is Remus and he’s the epitome of sunflowers. Remus cooks him dinner, which is a surprise in itself because he didn’t know the man could cook. But it’s perfect, because Remus made the best chicken he’s ever had, and he falls in love with the man even more.

               He says I love you for the first time to Remus on a Thursday.

           It’s raining outside. They’re almost a year into their relationship, about to go back to uni, and they’re watching a movie. It’s disgustingly sweet, and he knew that if it was James and Lily and he caught them he would gag and make fun of them. But he loves every second of having Remus like this to himself. They’re sipping tea and he isn’t focused on the movie, but that’s okay, he’s seen it a million times.

           But Remus looks like an angel, utterly ethereal on his couch, and he can’t stop himself from saying it. Remus turns to him, and he looks a bit shocked, and he almost takes the words back before Remus smiles and kisses him before saying the same. He feels like he’s on cloud nine, and he doesn’t think he’s ever loved anyone more.

              They have their first large fight on a Friday.

           They were supposed to have dinner with Remus’ colleagues. It was a business dinner, and everyone was bringing their partners, and it was supposed to be his introduction into Remus’ work life. Remus had stressed the importance. He made Sirius confirm the date again and again, he sent reminders, and still – he missed it.

           He’d been caught up fixing his bike. Work had been rough, and he wanted to cool down before dinner, so he went to the garage and started working on his motorcycle because it always calmed him. Before he knew it, he was lost in time, focused solely on that, and when he snapped out of it, the sun had gone down, there were a twenty texts from Remus and seven missed calls, and he felt his stomach drop.

           Remus got back and didn’t say a word at first. Sirius stared at him, watching for the shoe to drop and for him to yell, because that’s what his father always did, but Remus just went to the fridge and got a beer. He sat down on the couch, still in his fancy suit, and Sirius followed him. He tried to speak but Remus shut him down quickly. He had never been so afraid in his life, never so ashamed either.

           It was important, and he knew it was important, and he had forgotten. Remus never forgot anything if Sirius said it was important. He showed up to every work event, he charmed everyone, he reminded Sirius of all his appointments, he ordered parts for the bike without prompting. Remus was perfect as a partner, just as he was perfect in everything he did, and Sirius had failed him.

           He had one job, and he couldn’t even do that.

           Eventually, the episode Remus put on ended and he turned to Sirius. He asked, so calm and cool it felt like an icicle stabbing through his heart, what happened and Sirius just answered the best he could. He didn’t have a good answer, but he gave it anyway. Remus scoffed, getting up, and went to bed.

           Sirius didn’t follow, just slept on the couch, groveled with breakfast and tried to apologize. Remus started talking to him after a day, accepted his apologies, and they moved on.

               He left Remus on a Saturday.

           He fucked up a lot. He missed more dinners, he said the wrong things, he feared commitment. He tried to be perfect, he really did. He tried his best to say the right things but it all came out wrong, and he tried to remember, and he tried to dress right, and he tried his best to not fear being with Remus even though the thought of marrying someone and being tied to them scared him.

           He had been bound to people before, and he hated it. His family didn’t reach out anymore, he brough too much shame, but he still couldn’t escape them.

           Remus was understanding. He accepted every apology, he kissed away all his fears, and he accepted Sirius for who he was. But Remus was perfect. He did everything perfect, and compared to a perfect person, Sirius couldn’t do anything right. Remus didn’t show any resentment towards him, and maybe he didn’t feel any, but Sirius resented himself. He couldn’t do anything right, he was only failing Remus and keeping him locked in a relationship when he should be with someone perfect, just like him.

           James told him he was an idiot, that Remus loved him and that he wasn’t ruining anything, but Sirius shook it off. Remus did love him, and he loved Remus too much. He adored Remus, and wanted so desperately to be perfect for him, but he wasn’t.

           He was the mistake. The only heartbreaker in the relationship while Remus excelled, and he couldn’t handle it anymore.

           Remus had been out with his mother all day while Sirius readied himself. He packed all his things, had them in the car ready to head to James and Lily’s flat when the day was done. James wasn’t happy about his decision, but didn’t turn him away, and that’s all he needed.

           Remus’ eyes were bright and full of life when he entered their flat until he looked around and noticed some things were gone and Sirius was sitting at the table by himself radiating sadness and finality. Sirius made sure to compliment Remus as much as he could, going on spiels about how perfect Remus was and how much he loved him, which was exactly why he was leaving.

           He couldn’t be enough for Remus, and Remus deserved someone more than him. Of course, Remus denied it all, and pleaded for him to stay, even cried, but Sirius just walked away. He couldn’t handle breaking Remus’ heart again and again until Remus finally left him, realizing that he could do better, so he left first.

           It hurt. More than anything he had experienced, but it would be worth it in the end when Remus was happy and married to someone else, experiencing a joy with something better than him.

               He saw Remus again on a Sunday.

           It was by chance. He went out for coffee and breakfast, feeling entirely too lazy to make something up for himself. It was a small café, one he frequented near his new flat. And in line, he saw him: Remus Lupin in the flesh. He almost ran away, but it had been a year since they broke up, and he should be over it. It would be fine, it was just Remus.

           (But he was never just Remus, not to Sirius.)

           It was after he had ordered, when he was about to flee the café when Remus saw him. He wanted to run away but Remus had called him over, and he sat, because he could never deny Remus anything. Remus talked, laid into him that it was unfair that Sirius would make a decision about their relationship all by himself, that he still loved him, that Sirius was perfect as well and definitely wasn’t the only one who had made mistakes in their relationship.

           He wanted to cry, but he didn’t. He held himself together while Remus said his piece, and at the end of it, Remus told him that he wanted to try again, if Sirius wanted that as well. And while Sirius knew he wasn’t the smartest person in the world, he also knew enough to not be a fool.

           He lost Remus once because of his insecurities, but now he had the chance to right his last wrong. He left the café with a date and a smile on his face.

               He met Remus on a Monday, and it changed his life. He gave up Remus on a Saturday, but gained him back on a Sunday. And this time, he was never letting go.

#wolfstar #wolfstar angst #sirius black #remus lupin #remus loves sirius #sirius black angst

[iceshard1011]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Everyone Characters: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF) Additional Tags: Canon Universe, but Not Canon Compliant lmao, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders-centric, Angst with a Happy Ending, uhhh my addition to baby sides, Crack Treated Seriously, Babies, So many babies, too many for remus to handle, Crying, so much crying dear lord, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, remus being an awkward dad for 4k words, They all need hugs, Explicit Language, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, remus threatens to kill a child, Multiple times, (he wouldn't actually but shh his reputation), Dirty Jokes, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Sweetheart, patton is... so good, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, cuddling :)), touch-starvation, Kid Logic | Logan Sanders, Kid Morality | Patton Sanders, Kid Deceit | Janus Sanders, Kid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Kid Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Summary:

After a particularly disastrous mindscape mishap, Remus is tasked with parenthood for a day.

It's a day too much, in his opinion.

4k word fic below :)

There was one thing that Remus was one-hundred percent certain of in this exact second: this was not his fault.

Except it absolutely, definitely was and Remus had no idea how the fuck he was supposed to fix it.

It had started off as a joke, right? Thomas and Joan had gotten into one of their back and forth bantering quarrels. The insult of ‘baby’ being thrown back and forth wasn’t an unusual occurrence.

Except this time, maybe Thomas was overthinking. Maybe this time the others were doing their stupid, dumb, existential crisis bullshit.

Except this time, Remus had popped up into the mindscape, ready to have some fun, and instead of a quintet of groaning sides, there was just a group of… weird… squealing… babies?

“Ooh, Jesus,” Remus said. “Nope.”

Remus sank out.

That was not his problem. Absolutely not. One hundred percent no. No way. Never in a million years.

Remus stared blankly at his floor.

What the hell was going on?

And of course, the universe wasn’t about to give Remus even a chance to work through that question.

There was a sharp spike in his chest, and the world abruptly disappeared. Remus blinked, finding himself in Thomas’ living room.

“Oh, thank god,” Thomas said the moment he saw Remus which – excuse him, what? When had Thomas ever once been happy – no, relieved – to see Remus? “One of you finally came.”

Remus opened his mouth.

“No,” Thomas interrupted, shaking his head. “Nope. Stop. No – no time for that. This is Serious Talk Time right now.”

Remus closed his mouth.

Thomas fidgeted with his hands, looking like he wanted to tear into a stress ball and spew stuffing all over the floor.

“What is going on?” Thomas blurted.

Remus blinked, because, did Thomas really expect Remus to know? He didn’t give Remus a chance to answer, barrelling on without preamble.

“I have been feeling so off and I don’t know what it is. I’m not anxious or emotional or – or anything out of the ordinary. I just feel wrong, and none of the others have been answering my calls and I’m so confused and I – I just… hoped… maybe you would know?”

Remus shifted his weight. “Uh.”

“Do you?” Thomas asked when Remus didn’t say anything else, still wringing his hands. “Know?”

“Uhh,” said Remus. “Maaaybe?”

“Oh, good,” Thomas breathed, but hesitated when Remus didn’t look particularly comforted. “That’s… Is that good?”

“Maaaybe not..?” Remus asked.

Thomas’ face was twisted in unease and disbelief. Remus opened his mouth, then closed it. He chewed on his bottom lip, searching for anything to look at other than Thomas’ horrified face.

“Uh, but let’s not worry about that!” Remus said, clapping his hands. Thomas jumped at the sudden break in silence. “How about finally ordering that vibrator, eh? You’ve got to have something to entertain yourself with until you get to fourth base with Nico!”

And just like a switch, Thomas jolted, completely caught off guard. He immediately shook like a bobblehead.

“No!” he cried, and Remus made a show of sighing heavily. “Remus, this isn’t the time! What’s going on with the others?”

Remus didn’t really know what was wrong with himself. When had he ever hesitated to tell Thomas an ugly truth?

“Whatever it is…” Thomas trailed off. Remus tilted his head. Thomas sighed, and hugged himself. He didn’t say anything.

Remus felt distinctly wrong-footed in the silent room. He’d never been around Thomas alone in such quiet before. What was he supposed to do? How did the others do it? When they weren’t wailing little demons, that was.

“You… were saying?” he prompted, and tried not to grimace at the way the sentimentality made his mouth taste.

Thomas looked just as surprised as Remus felt, looking owlishly up at him. Remus tried not to squirm under the attention.

“I… Would you look out for them for me?” Thomas asked quietly, timidly.

Remus worked his jaw, blindsided.

“I know it’s not really your thing,” Thomas went on. “But… I really love them – and I know you do too, in your own way. And I’m worried.”

Remus wrinkled his nose in disgust. Thomas laughed a little wearily. “I just… I’d be comfortable knowing that they had someone to rely on.”

Remus chewed on this for a minute. On one hand: ew, no, thank you, come back never. On the other… he couldn’t really afford to have Thomas’ mindset completely devolve into a crying, slobbery mess – that wouldn’t be beneficial to anyone.

“Okay,” he relented. “But I don’t know what good it’ll do.”

Thomas smiled at him, and it looked genuine enough, but Remus wasn’t about to consider that.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

“Yeah,” Remus muttered and started to sink.

“Remus?” Thomas asked, and he popped back up to blink at him. Thomas was watching him with a weird look on his face. Remus couldn’t read it. It made his skin itch, like there were a million beetles crawling about beneath his skin.

“You’re more appreciated than you know,” Thomas said slowly, like he was picking his words carefully.

Remus stared at him. He sank out without a word – because realistically, how was anyone supposed to respond to that?

The mindscape was still as gratingly loud as it had been when Remus had first popped in. Just as he’d left them, there were five squawling children in the same positions that they would normally rise up to Thomas in.

Remus wandered over to the staircase, peering curiously down at a baby Virgil, who was practically drowning in that patchwork job of a hoodie he’d made for himself, black tears of liquid eyeshadow staining his cheeks.

He poked the child in the face – gently! – but it didn’t really stop the godawful noise.

“Uhh,” he said.

Virgil screamed at him.

Remus blinked. He screamed back, wondering if that would help.

It did!

For a second, the entire room was silent.

And then, of course, it was back to the screaming. Tenfold. By all of them.

Remus was in way of his head.

“Okay, OKAY!” he said, and snapped his fingers.

Virgil’s hoodie immediately shrank to fit his frame. Remus wasn’t entirely sure what babies could wear, but he knew the basics, and hoped the softer material would at least help the volume. It did, if only slightly.

Virgil hiccuped as Remus carefully cupped his hands under his arms and lifted him from the ground.

“Okay, Lavender Care Bear, um.” Remus glanced around the room. What were babies supposed to… do?

He wandered over to the couch and plonked the baby onto the plush cushions. Cautiously and unsure and still somehow tripping over himself, Remus went around adjusting everyone’s clothes and lining them all up on the couch. He took extra care with Janus, who had got himself tangled in all his clothes and had gotten extra panicked before Remus had tried to help him.

He was one of the more tame of the lot, unsurprisingly. He and Logan had quieted down the moment they were on the couch, but they were still unbelievably fussy. On the other end of the spectrum, Remus was quickly considering the benefits of snapping Roman’s neck just to get him to shut the fuck up. He was already unbearable normally, but great Cthulhu he was insufferable now. What would Thomas really lose by going without Roman?

No violence, Remus reminded himself begrudgingly. He was supposed to be taking care of these morons.

Why had he agreed to this again?

(Oh, yeah, that’s right: because Remus was a needy bastard who would do anything for Thomas’ good graces – which, for whatever reason, included looking after a group of infuriating baby-sides.)

“Oh,” he realised suddenly. “You guys are probably hungry, huh?”

Patton, who instead of looking like he was complaining in baby language like everyone else, only looked miserable. He didn’t perk up at the mention of food – like Logan absolutely did, don’t think Remus didn’t catch that, Tiny Nerd – he only whined pathetically and reached out for Remus like he wanted something.

“What?” Remus asked him. “Even if I had a wallet to give you, you can’t even make it down from the couch to run off with it. What are you gonna spend my nonexistent money on, Baby Daddy?” Remus poked his cheek. “Fifty cents worth of Walmart bubbles? Where’re you gonna fit that, huh?”

Instead of cringing away like Remus expected Patton to do, he giggled and grasped clumsily at Remus’ finger with surprising strength.

Remus froze. “Um.”

Patton squeezed and tugged at his hand. Remus squinted at him.

“What’re you…” Remus trailed off as Patton ungracefully shimmied across the couch to reach for Remus’ shirt.

Instinctually, Remus jolted away from him.

With an alarm squeal, Patton pitched forward, falling face-first for the floor.

With a matching shout, Remus shot forward and scooped the baby up into his arms. Patton beamed up at him, completely unfazed. Remus scowled down at him.

“Was this your plan all along?” he asked. “Did you just want a napping place? What was so bad about the couch, huh?”

Patton had the nerve to snuggle against Remus’ chest and sigh happily.

Ah, fuck, he thought. I’m in trouble.

Remus tried putting the kid down but Patton only got fussier, so Remus surrendered himself to the fate of carrying the little demon cherub into the kitchen. He hummed to himself as he peered into the fridge.

“What can you guys eat?” he asked Patton.

Patton only buried his face against Remus’ sash, which could not be comfortable. Remus didn’t remember the last time he’d washed that thing.

“That’s not an answer, you blue flavoured cupcake,” he grumped.

Patton hummed happily in response.

Remus grunted to himself. He moved over to the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter and dangled the bundle of bananas in front of the sleepy baby’s face.

“Reckon you could deepthroat this?” he asked.

Patton squeaked and grasped needily at the fruit.

“Alright,” he said dubiously.

He set out a couple of plates to dump the peeled bananas upon. He turned, balancing Patton in the crook of his elbow in one arm and plates in each hand, but stopped short.

Logan was crawling into the kitchen on all fours, gaze fixed hungrily on something on the counter.

“How the fuck did you get down?” Remus demanded.

Logan skirted past him and made a beeline for something behind him. Finding that he was painfully too small to reach the bench, he turned those big brown eyes on Remus.

Remus followed his needy reach and wrinkled his nose.

“No,” he said. “You can eat Musa paradisiaca Linn just like the rest of the kiddies, aight?”

Logan whined pathetically. From the living room, Remus could hear the others still crying like they’d just finished a horrifically bad romcom. He sighed.

He left Logan whining for his snack while Remus moved Patton and the food back to the couch.

“Alright, feral children,” he declared, near-chucking Patton onto the cushions. “Feast.”

They didn’t lunge for the food like ravaged wolf puppies like Remus expected them to. Instead they only whimpered pitifully and Remus groaned.

“So now I’m gonna have to force feed you, too?”

He stomped back into the kitchen and ruffled around for some spoons. Logan was still sitting there, trying and failing to get the jar on the bench.

“Can you even eat jam? How old are you?” Remus poked Logan in the nose with the spoon. “Give me your ID, asshole.”

Logan bounced impatiently.

“Okay,” Remus relented. “You’re the smart one. Don’t get pissed at me when you get baby diarrhoea. And I won’t be cleaning it up.”

He picked up the jar in one hand and Logan in the other and moved back to the couch.

The dumb kids didn’t know how to eat and Remus didn’t know how to feed them. He was ninety percent sure that the couch was smeared with more banana and jam than the babies did.

But eventually, the crying quietened further and the five little stomachs stopped growling, but apparently that wasn’t enough.

Virgil whined, still looking uncomfortable.

“No,” Remus told him. “No-no. Hush up. Stop.” He snapped his fingers and a heavy blanket draped itself over Virgil’s shoulders. He was immediately pacified with a soft hum. Patton made the same grabby hands in Remus’ direction and he stuck his tongue out at the baby.

“You are a needy son of a bitch, aren’t you?” he grumbled. He shoved a big plush bear into Patton’s arms, who cooed curiously and squeezed the toy pleasingly.

Janus only met Remus’ gaze with a simple gurgle, and Remus raised his eyebrows. “You happy there, Snake Baby?”

Janus hummed and Remus huffed a laugh.

Behind him, Roman screamed. Remus glared over at him.

“Oh, sure,” he said. “Everyone else seems happy enough and yet you’re still not satisfied.”

Roman yowled.

It was starting to set the others off. Logan, who had been perfectly content slobbering up the leftover jam from his hands, was beginning to wiggle unhappily. Patton hugged his new bear tighter.

Remus picked Roman up by the back of the shirt and dangled him in the air.

“Do you ever stop complaining?” he demanded.

Roman bawled louder. Remus shook him.

“I will strangle a child,” he said through gritted teeth. “I plan the most gruesome ways to kill you on the best of days – don’t think that just because you’re small and defenceless now that has stopped.”

Roman whined. He was starting to get spit and snot all over Remus’ sleeves.

Resisting the urge to scream, Remus shoved Roman next to Virgil. He snapped a pacifier into Roman’s mouth, and hoped that it would stave off the noise at least for a little bit.

Instead, the moron nearly choked himself with it, sending him spluttering and gasping and crying even louder.

Something in Remus snapped.

He gripped his hair and screamed.

“SHUT UP! It was funny at first, I’ll admit it, but now zip it! You have nothing to wail about! You’re fed, you have water, you’ve already slept ALL DAY, and I know you have because your door was still locked this morning! So just STOP CRYING!”

Remus hadn’t realised his legs had given out on him until his gaze cleared – when had he blacked out? – and he found himself in a heap on the floor.

At least the others had been shocked into silence.

He thought they had, anyway.

There was a tiny coo to his right, and when Remus looked down, Patton was sitting beside him, pressing the toy Remus had given him into Remus’ lap.

“And just what do you want?” Remus growled at him. Patton reached up, grasping for Remus’ face. Remus didn’t entertain him. Realising his efforts were fruitless, Patton resulted in patting Remus’ knee comfortingly.

Remus rolled his eyes. “Oh. Thanks. I feel so much better.”

Patton hummed almost sympathetically, which was ridiculous. Still, Remus rested his chin on his fist and stared wearily down at the pudgy baby.

“What the hell did I agree to?” he mumbled, as if Patton would give him a response. Patton’s big sad eyes looked between Remus and Roman, who was curled into a pathetic, sniffling ball on the couch. “How do you fuckers keep getting off the damn couch, anyway?”

Patton flapped his hands.

“I don’t know how many times I have to make it obvious that I do not speak baby.”

Patton tapped Remus’ thigh, then gestured to Roman, then pat Remus’ leg again. Remus squinted. He met Roman’s gaze, who only whimpered and pressed his little fists to his face. Remus glanced sharply between Patton and Roman.

“You’re kidding me,” he said to Patton. He glared up at Roman. “You’re honest to god trying to tell me that you’re just. Sad? Are you serious?”

Remus scooched past Patton and lifted Roman up, frowning darkly down at him.

“Are you still depressed as a baby?” he demanded. Roman only hung limply in his hands, defeated and tired. (Remus could relate.)

He sighed, collapsing his arms and dumping the child into his lap unceremoniously. Roman whimpered and pressed his flushed, wet nose to Remus’ chin. He sniffed miserably, seemingly worn out. Remus stared down at him.

He sighed.

“Okay, whatever.”

He sat in silence for a bit, letting Patton and Roman cuddle him. It wasn’t the best feeling in the world. Remus had never been particularly touchy-feely, not with the way he’d developed in Thomas’ mind, with Janus who covered nearly every inch of his skin with clothes and Virgil who hissed the moment anyone got too close. And whenever someone did touch him – always by accident and never with gentle intent – it felt horrible. Like a burning metal stick branding his skin, sending goosebumps through his whole body and making him want to hide under a blanket full of bricks to keep the shivering at bay.

This was… different? Still weird, almost unbearably so, but different nonetheless.

Patton was just fidgeting with Remus’ pants, like he wanted something to keep his attention with. Like he didn’t care that it was Remus he was touching. Like he was perfectly content to sit on the carpet and lean on someone who had only tormented him and been looked upon with disgust.

With all the ear-grating screaming that had been exploding in Remus’ skull, Roman was near-silent at Remus’ shoulder, aside from the occasional sniff.

Remus cautiously reached out to poke at Roman’s cheek. Instead pulling away like Remus expected, he leaned into the touch like a sad puppy. Remus rolled his eyes.

“There’s only room for one needy baby in this mindscape, and Patton’s already taken that title,” he told his brother. “Choose a different brand, cheater.”

Roman didn’t rise to the bait – which, logically, was fair, as a baby Roman probably didn’t have the slightest clue what Remus was saying – but it was still annoying.

“Where’s all your spunk gone, hm?” Remus asked him. “It was almost amusing when you were screaming your little lungs out.”

Roman only blinked tiredly up at him, and Remus huffed. “Whatever, half-pint.”

Remus began to entertain himself by scrolling mindlessly on his phone. Janus and Logan had started to have an odd conversation completely made up of senseless babbles and clumsy hand movements. Whatever they were talking about seemed interesting. On the other end of the couch, Virgil had curled up into a sleepy ball, looking like he was about to pass out any minute.

He was the first one to switch back.

Remus didn’t notice it happening at first, but when he looked over – a good few hours later, and fuck, Remus’ butt had gone completely numb at this point – he found himself looking at a knocked out and obviously adult anxious side, still clutching his heavy blanket over his shoulders.

Remus’ eyes widened in alarm.

He sprung to his feet, startling Patton and jostling Roman. Patton whined and Roman clutched desperately at Remus’ clothes.

Remus hushed Patton, scooping him up and tucking him back on the couch.

“Shh,” he snapped when Patton continued to complain. “Hush up! Oh great Azathoth, Patty, please shut up.”

Virgil mumbled something in his sleep, and Remus felt the panic seize his chest tighter. He dumped Roman next to Patton, heedless of the way his eyes started to tear up and his grip tightened.

“No, stop,” Remus hissed at him, battling with the tiny, pudgy fingers. “Roman, this is not the time to –”

Virgil groaned. Remus froze, watching as his eyes flickered open.

Rather furiously (and furiously ignoring the tinge of guilt) Remus ripped Roman’s hands from his clothes and sank out.

He popped up into his room, his dark, empty, chaotic, silent room, and pressed his back to the wall. Virgil would wake up, and probably panic for a second, but then everyone else would turn back, and they wouldn’t remember a thing because they’d been babies, and Thomas would find out that they were all okay and no one had to know what Remus had done.

It was fine. That was good.

Remus breathed. He wasn’t so certain if he was relieved.

Remus expected to be able to hide in his room and play with any creative ideas that popped into his head for at least the next week – or at least until he got an urge to torment Thomas.

(Though, strangely, every time he considered that his stomach twisted uncomfortably until he moved on to the next topic.)

So he was woefully unprepared and entirely disgruntled when he was summoned out of nowhere in the middle of the day – by Patton, of all people.

They were in the mindscape, thank fuck because Remus did not need to face Thomas right this second, all looking in his direction.

A… relatively clean mindscape, Remus noticed, which made sense. He hadn’t cleaned any of the mess, but it didn’t surprise him that the others would have.

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton said softly, slowly. “What’ve you been up to?”

Trap, hissed Remus’ mind. Trap, trap! Don’t answer! Play dumb! Be Remus!

“Your mum.”

Patton wrinkled his nose. Behind him, Logan rolled his eyes.

“Impossible,” he started, “none –”

“Which dictionary did you eat for breakfast this morning?” Remus interrupted. “How to be dumb for dummies?”

Weak, he thought to himself.

Logan didn’t look impressed, but he didn’t roll his eyes or snap back.

“We were interested to know if you had any recollection of what occurred three days ago,” he said instead. “Beginning with a banterful conversation between Thomas and Joan, and the certain words exchanged between the two of them.”

Remus looked between each of them, feeling slightly like a deer in headlights.

“This was callous,” Janus said suddenly, snappish. “And I would know.”

Remus flinched, but Janus’ gaze was fixed on the others. When he looked back over to Remus, his expression softened. Remus fought the urge to flee right then and there.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to say anything,” said Janus, completely sincere. “It’s none of our business.”

“So what?” Remus grumbled at the floor, unable to gold Janus’ gaze. “You guys were all hapless squealing pale-faced demons. It didn’t matter to me. Thomas asked.”

“Asked what?” Virgil said.

Remus grinded his teeth. Did he have to spell it out?

“I’m sorry,” Patton blurted, which surprised Remus enough to look up at him. “We didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, kiddo.”

“What did you expect was going to happen?” Janus demanded, turning on him. It sounded like an argument they’d had before.

“Seriously,” Remus forced out between his gnashing teeth. He was surprised he hadn’t cut his own tongue out yet. “It’s whatever.”

“Whatever,” Janus said, his voice lilted with soft agreement, like he was accepting what Remus wasn’t saying out loud. God, Remus had always loved him.

(FUCK, hang out with a group of literal emotional babies for half a day and his entire brain turns to MUSH.)

“Whatever,” Virgil echoed dubiously.

Remus glanced over at Roman, who had been suspiciously quiet the entire time. Roman was already looking at him, an unreadable look in his eyes. Remus glared at him, daring to say what was on his mind aloud.

Roman’s eyebrows only relaxed, his expression gentling out, and FUCK, would people stop DOING THAT?

“Did… you want to stay for lunch?” Roman asked slowly. “It’s not quite ready yet but –”

“I have,” Remus interjected haltingly, not sure what he wanted to say but definitely knowing that he needed to shut that down fast. “Places to be. Things to dismember.”

For a moment, the others were quiet. For a moment, they screwed up their noses and shuddered like they always did. For a moment, Remus thought he was free.

(Free to go back to his room and wait there for days before he had a reason to leave.)

“Dinner, then?” Roman offered.

“Is ‘no’ going to be the right answer?” snapped Remus.

“There is no right answer,” Janus cut in smoothly. “There’s only your answer.”

“You uh…” Patton piped up, shuffling on his feet, “you can add whatever you like to your serving?”

Remus glared around at them. They were all looking at him with curious, round eyes, some bordering on hopeful, and all Remus could think of was the needy, desperate little suckers when they had been not twenty-five inches from the ground.

“Fine,” he snapped. “Okay. Whatever.”

“Whatever,” Virgil laughed. It wasn’t a mean laugh.

No one talked about it that night. They didn’t jab at him or poke for answers. There were hardly any fights. (Wow, they had really all gotten cosy with each other, hadn’t they?)

Roman did totally intentionally dump an overload of salt into Remus’ food, which Patton had reprimanded him for, but Remus wasn’t bothered. All the more reason for him to launch across the table and tackle the conspiring fool to the ground.

Patton and Logan had both shouted at them, and Virgil was totally snapping pictures with his phone no matter how subtle he thought he was being, and Janus was very badly disguising his laughs as coughs but…

Roman shivered as Remus grappled him into a wrestler’s hold, and Remus’ skin was burning, but neither of them mentioned it.

(It was kind of hard to – Roman’s laughter was way too contagious for their own good.)

Neither of them seemed to regret anything by the end of it, both collapsed in a breathless heap on the carpet with Patton fluttering over them and grinning at each other like they hadn’t in years.

Thomas would never mention the whole… thing.

Remus never thought he could feel the emotion of gratitude, but this felt impossibly close.

But the next time Remus popped up, this time with a frankly fantastic idea for a story with all the blood and death and gore anyone could ask for, Thomas would jump with his usual oh no Remus is here expression.

But then he’d smile, and tilt his head in that way that indicated he was listening.

And he’d let Remus talk, and Remus started to understand why they all loved him so much.

And maybe that was enough for him to go to a few more dinners.

(At least until he got his room up in the mindscape, too.)

#sanders sides #drlamp #creativitwins #remus sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #thomas sanders #baby sides fic #remus has a bit of a meltdown #lots of crying #(babies) #minor tw for the mention of depression bc roman is sad #lots of cuddling #touch starvation #patton is a very cuddly baby #dad!remus #even though he didn't want to be #sanders sides fanfiction #cross posted on ao3 #long post

[proserpina-magnus]

Yay your requests are open! 😄 Could you pleeeease write a Dom poly!marauders (no Peter) x sub!reader, where it’s a new-ish relationship between the 4 and the reader breaks her first rule, leading to her first punishment and they can all see she’s nervous so they are soft!doms during (you can decide the rule she breaks and the punishment🙊) and the aftercare they give her 🥺

Yes absolutely, it’s kinda rough and I didn’t realize how lengthy it was! This is actually not that good and the aftercare could be better but I hope you like it!

First Punishment’s (R.L, J.P, S.B)

Reader: fem (she/her)

Word count: 2.6

Warning: swearing, rule breaking, spanking, bratty reader (sorta), d/s (sorta heavy?) Remus is the main dom, safe words are definitely in place, lots of aftercare and praises, reader becomes a cry baby super fast, soft doms, Sirius actually doesn’t show up that much and that sucks :(

p.s: my bad spelling also plays a role in this!

There were only a few solid rules the Marauders had set for you, no back talk, no touching yourself sexually without permission, and always thank them when they give you something. They had a few smaller rules specifically for themselves, such a James saying you can’t cuss while Sirius allows it. Remus has to approve your outfit before going out to hogsmeade. Sirius, surprisingly, doesn’t have many rules other than the main ones.

It must have been a bad day or you just felt bratty, because you had been tempting their rules all day. You had gone out to hogsmeade with your dorm mates, not checking with Remus about your outfit. When you returned, a bag full of honey duke treats, you got stopped by Remus in the hallway. He shoo’d your dormmates away, an eyebrow raised with his hands crossed over his chest.

You shrunk slightly, fiddling with the edge of your rather small skirt that Sirius had gifted to you just days ago.

“Bun, did you forget to do something?” He asked and you nodded. Yet you and Remus both knew you had done it on purpose.

“What did you forget?”

“To check with you,” you mumbled, distracting yourself with flattening the fabric of James jumper you had stolen.

“To check with me about what?”

“M’outfit,” you whispered and you caught Remus's stern look and spoke up. “M’outfit sir,”

“mmh,” was all he said, giving you an opportunity to apologize to him properly. You dug through your bag, taking out a chocolate bar you had gotten him.

“But I went to get you guys sweets!” You excused yourself, pushing the chocolate in Remus's hand. Remus shook his head, taking the chocolate. “Alright, I’ll let you off this time. But no matter what your excuse is, it doesn't mean you can go around flaunting your ass to Hogsmeade, understand?”

“I’m not flaunting my ass!” You exhaled quickly, pushing down your skirt as you began to get offended. Remus raised his eyebrow, “I’m sorry?” And you grew quiet. Real quiet.

“Hey lovely,” you heard James call from behind you, you had turned around to see him race down the hall and swing an arm around your waist, a big smile on his face.

“What’s the issue?” James got the tension and Remus motioned for you to explain yourself.

“Went to hogsmeade without checking my outfit with Remus,” you whispered rudely, James raised an eyebrow as he didn’t quite catch it.

“Hm? Speak up poppet,” he said, and you sighed and said it again louder this time.

“Oh let her off this one time Remus, she must have forgotten,” James defended you, rubbing your back so you knew he was on your side.

“I was,” Remus started, irking slightly as he recalled how you talked back. “But instead she told me off for my offer,”

James grew confused, looking down at you. “Love, that’s not true is it?” He asked, pinching your cheek and you pushed his hand away. You thought he was on your side.

“Remus said I was flaunting my ass! I wasn’t! And even if I was, what's the problem with that? I’ll flaunt my ass whenever I want!” You huffed, another small rule broke at your words. Remus rolled his tongue over his teeth, James folding his arms over his chest. Oh dear lord, you were in for it now if you kept going.

“This isn’t far, it’s 2 against one,” you pointed out as you now realized James wasn’t on your side. You copied them, crossing your arms over your chest.

“It wouldn’t have been 2 against one if you didn’t break a rule,” Remus reminded you, you grew frustrated.

“Well I don’t like your stupid rules,” you stated, now you began to get worried. Why did you keep talking, it wasn’t too late for you to apologize and say you were sorry.

“Up to our dorm,” James said roughly and grasped your elbow, you shook him off and stepped back. “No I don’t wanna,” you said and they both let out a laugh.

“Come on, we’re not asking again,” Remus said, you felt your nerves jitter. You’ve never been punished before and the worry began to build quickly.

“No,” you said, shaking your head as you took another step back. Your back hit a person and you cursed yourself. Without turning around, you knew it was Sirius. But hopefully, you prayed he was on your side. Sirius must have read your thoughts, because he quickly said a “they’re right bun, you know if you break a rule you get punished,”

You frowned, huffing out as you realized there wasn’t a chance to escape now. “Fine,” you muttered, pulling away from Sirius as you began to walk down the hall to the portrait. They followed behind, Remus shaking his head.

You stopped at the portrait, arms still crossed over your chest as they said the password and led you upstairs to their dorm. With the thud of the door being closed, you felt the need for a meltdown.

They hadn't discussed what kind of punishment went with each rule, they hadn’t thought they wouldn't need to punish their good girl. James had insisted you would never break a rule, but apparently he was wrong.

They picked up that you were worried, but they couldn’t just let it slide, you’d think that breaking rules was okay and that you could get away with it.

You walked over and set your bag down on James' dresser, sitting down on his bed, hands still folded over your chest.

“Okay, cool off,” James said and walked over to you. “I want you to know we aren’t punishing you while mad, that’s not how this is going to work,” he stated, and Remus nodded.

“We honestly hadn’t planned out a punishment, we thought you would be good,” Sirius said, that hurt. “I am good!” You replied, upset at the fact they didn’t think you were good.

“Hey, you’re not on thin ice anymore missy, I’d watch what you say if I were you,” Remus snapped and you went quiet with a frown.

“We know you’re a good girl,” James soothed over, giving a glare to Sirius. “That’s not what he meant,”

You began to open your mouth for a snappy comment, maybe even going as far as to call James dumb, but you closed your mouth and stayed silent. “Okay,” you nodded, “I understand,”

“You know why we have to punish you?” Sirius asked, and you nodded. “Say it, we want to know that you know what you did was wrong,”

“I broke a rule, well two rules,”

“Two rules?” Sirius questioned, he had missed the start of the backlash. “She went out to Hogsmeade without my permission for her outfit,” Remus cleared up.

“technically she actually broke three,” James said, your eyes opened as you looked over at him. How could he? You felt the need to cry, they seemed really upset. Who knew you would hate them being upset at you so much?

“Three?” You questioned in pure confusion.

“You cussed, you know I don’t like that,” James explained with a hand on your thigh, you nodded in defeat. “It’s alright, bun,” he kissed your cheek.

“James, don’t encourage that she can break your rules,” Remus advised and your shoulder slumped at the fact this wasn’t a time for you to get praises.

“Alright, let’s discuss punishments, she’s scared I don’t like that,” Sirius said and sat opposite of you, Remus took a seat on the chair by James dresser.

“You want us to list some?” James asked, “we won’t do anything without your permission,” he explained and rubbed your knee, you sighed but was a bit confused.

“You can use your safe word any time you feel unsafe, even during punishments. We never want you to be scared of us, okay?” Remus said, rubbing your cheek and you nodded. You leaned your face in his palm, you wanted to soak up all the affection before your punishment.

“We need clarification, you understand bun,” Sirius said, you opened your eyes when Remus pulled his hand away. “I understand, I can use my safe word whenever I need to, even during punishments,” you nodded along, slowly the nerves began to settle.

“Good girl,” James praised, “don’t think we’re going to praise you during punishments either, but since it’s your first time we’ll be more understanding,” Remus explained and you nodded.

“Alright, what about spanking? Not letting her cum for a certain amount of time? Degrading?” Sirius rushed out the ones off the type of his head, your stomach flipped at the word spanking.

They discussed punishments in front of you for a few minutes, some making you worry and others you nodded along like you’d enjoy it. You didn’t know why, but hearing them talk like you weren’t even there was making you feel dizzy.

“What about a simple time out? I don’t want to go all out for her first punishment, I don’t want her to be scared,” James said, rubbing your back gently.

“Let’s make her pick, that way she has control over the first punishment,” Remus said, looking away from Sirius as he kept his eyes on you. “We’ll let you pick this time, but don’t think you’ll get to pick the next time you break a rule,” he explained and you nodded.

“No punishment,” you choose and Sirius laughed, kissing your forehead. “That’s not how it works bunny,” he began and you sighed. You thought for another minute, spanking couldn’t be bad could it?

“I guess spanking,” you nodded, Remus nodded but James wasn’t so sure. “I don’t know, I still think we should give her a time out, maybe even not let her speak for a day or so,” James said, Sirius didn’t agree.

“She wants to be spanked, we’ll spank ‘er,” Sirius said, patting your thigh.

“The whole point of a punishment is that we don’t do what she wants, it’s not a punishment if she likes it,” James explained, you began to worry again.

“I don’t wanna do something scary,” you say, you thought about the discussion of the things you definitely didn’t want to do at the first of your relationship. Were they going to do something that was past your boundary? At the thought alone, you began to sob.

“James look what you did, you’re scaring her,” Sirius rolled his eyes as he took you in his arms, shushing you gently as he rubbed your back.

“M’don’t wanna do things past my boundary,” you sobbed, they all softened at the miscommunication. “Oh no poppet, we would never go past your boundary, that’s not what a punishment is,” James sighed, you sniffled and pulled back, wiping your eyes. “No?”

“Of course not,” Remus clarified, “like we said, safe words can be used during any moment you feel unsafe, do you need to use it now? We can postpone the punishment until you’re ready,”

You shook your head, “no, the faster the punishment is over the faster I can be your good girl again,” you whispered.

“That’s right, just focus on that huh? We’ll be so proud of you for taking the punishment like a good girl,” Sirius said, looking over at James and Remus. They all agreed and you wiped your cheeks.

“Okay but how many spanks? And how hard?” You asked, they all thought for a moment, james and Sirius looking over at Remus for the final answer.

“20 or so? That seems fair,” Remus states and the latter agree, you felt confident with being able to handle 20. “But how hard?” You asked, James stood you up and you felt a hard smack against your ass. You yelped, hand going over to rub the now red skin.

“Does that count as one?” You question, Remus was about to say no but Sirius caught him off. “Might as well,” he states, “who’s giving the punishment? Cant be me cause I’ll enjoy it too much,”

“I want James,” you say, but James shakes his head. “You upset Remus' earlier love, I’ll give you 10 and Remus will give you the other,” he says, looking over at Remus to see if he agrees. The taller boy nodded.

After a few minutes of questioning, you had situated yourself on James lap. Sirius laid on his bed, clear view of your now exposed ass (James had previously risen your skirt and pushed down your panties). You took a deep breath, Remus explaining once again that you could use your safe word whenever you needed.

With the first official smack, you sucked in a breath. There was a certain excitement about it, even the boys felt their heart race as James abused your soft flesh with a couple more smacks. Your skin red on both cheeks, James even went as far as to hitting the low of your thigh.

After the tenth smack, you had begun to let tears slip past your waterline. Sniffling as you sat up and moved to sit in Remus' lap. Once sprawled out, you whispered a small choked out “okay” for Remus to continue where James left off.

Remus’s spanks we’re harder than James, by the fourth you had become a whimpering mess. Your apologies for misbehaving leaked out every smack, it was like dominos. Your skin felt raw to the touch, the spanks stung.

Remus applied the last smack quickly, Sirius sitting up as James fell to his knee beside the bed, stroking your hair. “You did such a good job, poppet, made us so proud,” James whispered as Sirius passed Remus some cream.

Your face deep in the sheets, sobs admitting loudly as you feel the cool cream get rubbed into your hot skin. Sirius rubbed your leg, Remus finished and flipped your skirt down to hide your reddened ass.

“Look at that, you took your first punishment so good,” Sirius said, Remus helped you sit up as you wrapped your arms around his collar.

“M’so so sorry, never break a rule again,” you sobbed, vowing to never receive another punishment. Even though they knew a punishment was necessary, they felt their hearts stop at the sound of your cry.

“Oh baby, shh. Let’s get you some candy from your bag,” Sirius says, grabbing the honey duke's bag as he rummages through it. Remus guides you away from his neck, sitting you down in his lap. You hissed, the contact not feeling good on your abused behind.

James had opened a water bottle for you, pushing in a straw and holding it for you to drink. You nodded your thanks and shakily took it, sipping it graciously. Your eyes were puffy and red, James wiped your face with a tissue, cleaning your mascara from your cheeks.

Sirius had opened a pack of peppermint patties for you, you chewed on it gently and leaned against Remus’s back. After they got you calmed down, the praises had been never ending.

“Look at you, took your first punishment so well,”

“Good girl, best sub we will ever have, hm?”

“Took the spanks so well didn’t she, prongs?”

“She’s such a good girl, don’t you think moony?”

You felt dizzy at their compliments, nodding as they all came tumbling in at once. Sirius had begun brushing your hair, James kissing your cheeks to make you laugh.

“So proud of you poppet,” James whispered in your ear, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he picked you up.

“Let’s go run you a bath and soothe your skin hm? Then will bring you dinner and you can rest with us tonight,” James said, stepping into the bathroom.

“Okay, I’d like that,” you nod tiredly, resting your head on James' chest. Maybe being bratty wasn’t so bad.

—

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[fruitcoops]

Hi Eve!

I adore your writing and was wondering if you would write more of Remus’ allergies? Just Sirius taking care of him, just fluff all around really..

Of course! Combined with an ask for an asthma fic. Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

TW for asthma attack (difficulty breathing), allergies, and stubbornness

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sirius called, turning to run backward for a few steps. Remus glared at him, pink-cheeked, red-nosed, and wheezing. “Nevermind.”

“I’m not—” Remus paused to cough into the crook of his elbow. “—quitting this workout for one lousy season if it fucking kills me.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about. Did you bring your inhaler?”

“How much time do we have left?”

Sirius glanced down at his watch without breaking stride as Remus caught up. “About ten minutes. We can walk the rest of the way, though. I don’t mind.”

“I do,” Remus muttered. The cottonwood above them sent blossoms and fluff cascading around them; he sneezed once, quite violently, before tilting his head up to scowl at the tree. “Whore.”

Sirius nearly tripped over his own feet. “Are you—are you slutshaming the trees?”

“Yes.”

“…why?”

“Because,” Remus huffed, breathless. “They take their stupid fucking pollen and throw it around for three goddamn months like a whore instead of relying on bees like a normal plant. And then I can’t breathe for three goddamn months if I even think about going outside, so I think I’ve earned the right to slutshame the trees a bit. Jesus Christ. Hoo boy. I need to sit down.”

Sirius stopped on a dime as he doubled over, clutching his knees and panting. “Re? Are you okay?”

Remus gave him a thumbs-up. “Peachy keen.”

“Where’s your inhaler?”

“Pocket. I’m just—I’m gonna sit down for a sec.” He stumbled to the curb, wincing with each breath. “Ow. Ow. Fuck me. Ow.”

“Use your inhaler,” Sirius ordered as alarm rose in his chest.

Remus waved him off, though his breaths were audibly shallow. “ ‘s fine. Happens all the time.”

“Oh my—” Sirius cut himself off with a harsh exhale and yanked the inhaler out of Remus’ pocket, shook it for a few seconds, then pressed it as hard as he could into Remus’ hand. “Do not make me put this in your mouth, too.”

Remus sat up with a groan, but obliged him; he took a deep breath of the medicine and held it for a ten count before blowing out slowly. Some of the flush faded from his face and he stayed quiet for a few moments, watching the empty houses on the block whose inhabitants were almost definitely crowding up the parks. “Thanks.”

“Stop being stubborn when it comes to your health,” Sirius groused, bumping his shoulder. “And you’re welcome. You have an inhaler for a reason.”

Remus scrunched his nose up. “I don’t like using it.”

“Okay, fine, but you still have to use it if you literally can’t breathe.”

“It’s not even—” Remus pursed his lips and sighed, kicking a stray pebble. “I hate having allergies. It’s not even real asthma, it just happens when I’m around that kind of pollen. I’m useless for three months because my immune system has a meltdown when it sees a tree.”

Sirius nudged him again, gentler. “You’re not useless.”

“We would have been home half an hour ago normally.”

“Okay, and?” He waited until Remus glanced up with his still-swollen eyes and stuffy nose. “Allergies suck, and I’m sorry you have to deal with them, but that doesn’t make you useless. And it doesn’t mean you get to stop taking your medicine.”

“I know,” he muttered. “I feel so gross.”

“Let’s walk home, then take a shower, d’accord?” Sirius stood and dusted himself off before hauling Remus up by the hand.

“Sorry for…that,” Remus said, gesturing back at the curb as they started walking back to the house.

Sirius shrugged. “I just prefer it when you’re able to breathe. It’s not good to see you struggling like that when there’s an easy solution.”

Remus’ mouth twisted; a slender hand slipped into Sirius’ and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you.”

“Any time, though I hope I don’t have to do it often.” He shot him a wry smile and got half a laugh as a reward—the sound soothed the worry that had been chewing a hole in his lungs and he leaned down to kiss Remus’ cheek. “Be nice to your lungs. They work very hard.”

Remus looked up with a soft smile. “If I wasn’t covered in sweat and about to sneeze all over the place, I would give you a hug.”

“All the more reason to get back quickly.”

A spark of competition lit in his eye. “Race you home.”

“I swear we just talked about not—”

Remus smacked his ass hard and took off running. “You’re it!”

“Hey!”

“If I get another asthma attack, I win by default!” he called from halfway down the block with the biggest grin Sirius had seen in days.

“If you do it on purpose, you’re showering on your own!”

#sirius black #coops #sweater weather #lumosinlove #allergies #my fic #fanfic #asthma #remus lupin #vaincre

[writingbecauseofanxiety]

Rewritten one- this story is like the other one but more detail.

This music has nothing to do with it or may even something but it is by far one of my fave. Yandere too! Love all of you!

Many people loved Sirius.

You weren't one of them though.

The arrogant prick had the audacity to de-grade you, to prank you. Snape had it better than you, at least James didn't want him dead, you were pretty sure Sirius wanted you to be though.

You hated him, but the feeling was mutual.

At least you only had one good thing in your life.

Snuffles.

You had met Snuffles when you were crying about what had happened some time ago. Sirius thought it was funny to change your shampoo into an ugly ogre colour. Remus had asked him not to but Sirius took his advice with a grain of salt.

'Fuck you, Sirius,'

Was what you thought.

The black dog came closer to you, almost looking like he was sorry for what happened.

'Aww, it's not your fault, girl,' you said, ruffling his hair, touched by the thought that this creature was trying to comfort you.

The dog looked offended.

'Oh well, thanks, boy,' you said.

It looked delighted and went closer to you.

That day was a year ago. The dog had come more and more frequently.

You would read to it a lot, and it would comfort you with your meltdowns. Not that Sirius bullied you anymore.

'Snuffles,' you said, Snuffles was the name you gave to the dog, ' I'm going on a date!' you said happily.

The dog looked upset and angry, but there was curiosity in it's eyes, almost like he wanted to know WHO you were going with.

'Seen Marc Jacobs of Ravenclaw?'

The dog looked as if piloting something.

'He's the one who asked me out,'

And with that, you went inside and got ready.

A beautiful blue dress was your pick.

The date was in an hour. It would give you time to do your makeup.

Marc had asked you to meet him at the Shreiking Shrack.

The dog had came with you.

You had made sure he went somewhere else while you were changing. You just felt a bit strange.

It had turned 7 pm. Time to go.

Snuffles had left 30 minutes before you.

You put your heels on and left.

When you arrived, however, there was blood all over the place, and Marc's dead body in the middle.

You looked in horror as you heard a bone-chilling voice behind you

'like it?' it said. 'i did it all for us,'

You turned around to see a blood- stained Sirius.

'What do you mean us, there is no us, I don't love you,' you said, harshly, venom leaking out from your words.

'Ah, but you love Snuffles,' he said. Then it all clicked! He was Snuffles! An animagi!

You screamed but it was no use.

'its a love story, love,' he said , 'and there's no chance of you escaping,'

Well, thanks for reading I wanna do a part 2. And I will do soon! I love Sirius sm. I don't know why, he's my fav marauder. I don't simp for any but him tbh. Thanks again for reading lovelies!

#stalker Sirius black x reader #Spotify