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molsno · 1 year

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I don't think there's enough discussion of the transmisogynistic voyeurism that's extremely widespread in online spaces. it's definitely a problem offline too but it's become significantly more pervasive and inescapable online.

transmisogynistic voyeurism is an obsession with trans women's internal lives. while traditionally it's usually been focused on our bodies, hormones, sexualities, transitions, and other such aspects that portray us as exotic, artificial, hypersexual mimics of "real" women (this is still largely the case among conservatives), it's taken on a new form in the past several years as society's understanding of transness has slowly improved.

in more recent years, the fascination with trans women and transfemininity, particularly in purportedly progressive spaces, has shifted to focus on the "artificiality" of our womanhood from a sociocultural perspective, rather than from a biological and sexual perspective.

it's become common to see screenshots from 4chan and other similar communities of trans women or transfem eggs posting about their unusual kinks, often with racist or antisemitic undertones. screenshots of ostensibly closeted trans women being transphobic to openly trans people have become commonplace. whenever a trans woman is revealed to be racist or a sexual predator, she becomes the new topic du jour, where everyone has to weigh in and publicly disavow her actions.

you might be thinking, what's the problem with this? after all, shouldn't we be holding racists, antisemites, transphobes, and sexual predators accountable? and while the answer to that question is an unambiguous, resounding "yes!", the problem here is the unusual focus on trans women in particular, and the fact that what's happening doesn't even remotely resemble accountability.

bigotry is not a uniquely transfeminine trait. anyone can be a bigot. however, by and large, even supposed trans allies, people who put "trans women are women" and "terfs dni" in their bio, still secretly see trans women as fundamentally male, due to having been "male socialized" (a notion which very strongly contradicts our own lived experiences). thus, when they see post after post after post of trans women being bigoted, it reifies tme people's beliefs that we are all holders of male privilege who have never had to face oppression before coming out as trans.

this idea is problematic for a number of reasons. first, it denies the experiences of trans women who have been oppressed by other systems before coming out as trans. for example, multiple times in just the past few weeks, I've seen trans women of color accused of being racist, even against people of their own race; as if having to face racism all their lives wasn't bad enough, now they're assumed to be perpetrators of it. however, this idea also ignores the very real effect that transmisogyny has had in shaping our lives, even when we didn't know we were trans ourselves.

when we attempt to talk about this topic - the perception that tme people have of trans women being uniquely bigoted, we are by and large brushed off as seeking to "excuse the actions" of bigoted trans women so that we can be bigoted ourselves. this abject refusal to actually engage with what we are saying to instead paint us as the very people we're constantly made to publicly disavow lest we face social ostracization (even if we have no idea who said people even are) further reifies the stereotype of us as privileged men.

I want you to imagine for a moment if trans men were subjected to this kind of voyeurism instead. on an average day scrolling through tumblr, you'd see a post of a trans man's nsfw blog where he shares posts about how rape should be legal, right alongside his bloodplay and cannibalism kink posts, accusing trans men of normalizing rape and murder. another post would show a screenshot of the trans guy who proclaimed to have been hitler in a past life, accompanied by comments demanding trans men take responsibility by purging their community of people like him. you'd scroll down a little further and see a screenshot of a terf blog with "dysphoric female" in bio where they complain about how a trans man they know has been brainwashed by "gender ideology" with all of the comments hoping they figure out their gender identity but still vehemently disavowing them and asserting they would feel unsafe around such a person even after coming out.

the reason that doesn't happen is because biological essentialism runs rampant even in queer spaces. trans men, who were afab, are often presumed to be incapable of harm due to having been "female socialized". trans men don't have their kinks publicly shared to paint them as dangerous because they're generally assumed to be victims of sexual violence, not perpetrators. trans men aren't collectively held accountable for the actions of one trans man they don't even know because a trans man doing harm is believed to be an anomaly, and thus can be dealt with on an individual basis. that last example is especially laughable, because trans men who were formerly terfs are often lauded as heroes for sharing their stories and offered condolences for having been victims of "cult brainwashing".

the fact that this kind of voyeurism does happen to trans women is because, having been amab, we are presumed to be the perpetrators of harm rather than victims. that's not to say that trans women can't be bigoted or dangerous; clearly they can, or else this kind of voyeurism couldn't exist in the first place.

trans women can be racist, trans women can be antisemitic, trans women can be transphobic, trans women can be sexual predators, and so on. these things are all true. however, they are not more likely to be true of trans women than of other demographics. that's the point I'm trying to make here.

stop and consider for a moment, what accountability actually means. are racist, antisemitic trans women being held accountable when you share screenshots of the bigotry they post anonymously on 4chan? does that screenshot you reblogged of an assumed transfem egg being transphobic to an out trans person hold them responsible for their transphobia? is that racist trans woman who's a convicted sexual predator sentenced to prison being held accountable when you share detailed documentaries about her crimes? are they facing consequences for their actions because of you raising awareness about them?

in the vast majority of cases, the answer is no. what's really happening is that you're raising outrage about trans women, and demanding that all of us publicly disavow and distance ourselves from them, even when we have no idea who they are, so that you won't come after us next. you're upholding the idea that trans women hold a "male privilege debt" that we can never fully repay but must endlessly strive to repay regardless. this obsession with our perceived socially male traits has got to stop.

#txt #transmisogyny #my writing #sorry this is so long I know people are gonna take this in the worst faith possible and I had to debunk all their counterpoints in advance #1k

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olderthannetfic · 3 days

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Sorry to ask this. I was going through a blog when I saw a callout post. I checked it out of curiosity. One of the things that was pointed out was : "when they were 31, they had sex with a 18 year old -they are a teenager!- and it's predatory! I (the writer of the callout) am 21 years old and even I don't have sex with 18 year olds because they are very young and it's very predatory!"

So, idk how to feel about that? Especially as someone who has never been in a relationship. I'm 20 years old, soon I'll be 21. Looking at myself at 18 and the future 21, I really didn't change that much? Physically or mentally. Yeah 18 is young but so is 21?? I don't think it's predatory, am I wrong?/serious question

And for the first part, yeah a 31 year old being with a 18 is weird for me, but aren't they both adults? They also said it's because 18 year olds lack experience, which can be true but that's assuming they have never been in a relationship before(with people their own age or similar). So, it can be weird but predatory? Is it?/serious question

I'm sorry if the questions are upsetting &/or weird but I really don't have anyone else to ask- parents are out of question, they literally think you should teach people about sex right before marriage- and I don't trust most online spaces. There's also zero books about such things in my country because "protect the children!!". So now we have an adult(me) who was raised to never ask question about these things and now is confused as hell. Hmm.....

It's all hogwash.

On average, I would assume that a 31-year-old having sex with an 18-year-old is a bit of a creep. However, it would depend entirely on the circumstances. Is this 18-year-old a naive high school student? Or are they someone who's been working a job for several years? Maybe the older person is their coworker whom they got to know.

A 21-year-old and an 18-year-old can be weird in the US if they only just met and one is a high school student while the other is a university student. But what if they met in some very different context where they're more in the same stage of life? Sure, I side-eye upperclassmen who start dating freshmen the first week of their freshman year, but what about later on in the year? What if both of these people aren't students at all and are, again, working a job together?

"You're mature for your age" is a line that creepers feed to younger people, but it can also be true. Some people just get along better with older partners.

We shouldn't be too draconian about any specific rule. You can only judge by the real circumstances of a specific set of people.

Predators are defined by their behavior, not ticky-box demographics. There is no absolute that lets you detect them and protect yourself. People wish there were because they would feel safer. That's what this kind of post is about.

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captain-kuppa · 4 months

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Say ahoy to the cheerleader of deep seas:

Pom Pom Crab!

[Lybia Tessellata]

These crabs are known for their signature move of always carrying a small living sea anemone around, which helps them catch food and protect themselves from predators. And thas' where they get them name from!

They arr also called "Hawaiian Boxer Crabs"

They can live up to 6 years in a human-made, low competition environment.

Yes, it do shake them pom poms. If provoked or attacked by a predator, the pom-pom crab will threaten the aggressor by waving it’s anemones around, the tentacles armed with cnidocytes (stinging cells).

The Pom Pom Crab are very popular in nano tanks. But don't be keeping these wild hearties in a small cage! They belong in deep seas, not yer aquarium.

[ Fun Fact! This fellows Hawaiian name is kūmimi pua, meaning “inedible flower crab”. ]

Lybia tessellata is a small crab growing to a width of about 2.5 cm (1 in).

The females are sometimes seen with a large red egg mass on the lower part of the body. The eggs hatch and undergo several stages before settling down on the sea floor.

The chelipeds(entire claw) do not have the broad chelae (claws) typical of decapod crabs. Instead they are slim and each has a fine finger bearing eight or nine spines.

What a fit fo' the typical cheerleader gal stereotypa!

They be professional cleaners too! The sea anemone’s tentacles can be used like mops, gathering debris and food particles from the ground around the crab’s hiding place.

They be omnivores but apparently prefer animal matter to plant matter. The front claws are not used for feeding at all, and the first pair of working legs are used for feeding.

[1] | [2] | [3] || Kuppa sends big love to me human matey Fall fo' the new crab blog idea.

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ladyloveandjustice · 2 years

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I’m wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it since I’m not incredibly interested in debating it, but it’s bothering me and it’s my blog so

I saw a lot of posts in the dracula daily tag that was like ‘all of that feminist analysis that said Lucy was supposed to be bad as a vampire because she turned sexual is WRONG, the horror is that she’s turned into a different person’ and even calling that feminist critique shallow or less nuanced or connecting it to second wave feminsm (and for some reason citing Kate Beaton who is 1. a cartoonist giving quick takes on several books in a funny way and 2. not from the second wave lmao please learn your history guys)

and look, I get wanting to look at Dracula through different lenses, especially since you like it now, but it’s not some be a wacky coincidence that Lucy’s human personality is ‘innocent ingenue who is the apple of every man’s eye yet would never act so seductively’ and her ‘monstrous vampire’ personality is seductive and sexual and it would be dangerous to kiss her, you’ll die. It would be incredibly unlikely in the Victorian era (or even today!) that it would ever be written the other way around, the good woman the flirtatious one and the bad personality innocent of sexuality. Whether Stoker was doing it consciously or subconsciously, societal feelings about women and sexuality are all over that.

It’s also not a wacky coincidence that the three vampire ladies menacing Jonathan are very sexual and seductive and scary and up for a four way,or that Dracula's own monstrousness is sexually coded, and part of it is his implied three lovers he doesn’t love but probably fucks (even if I love them and prefer to interpret them as weird roommates, I can acknowledge that likely wasn’t the intended interpretation).

Sure, Lucy can think about how cool it would be to marry three guys, but she’s willing to follow society’s rules. It’s when she’s a monster that she isn’t. And there’s a lot of of analysis to be had in how the scary sexually-coded predation of Dracula as a man and a ‘foreigner’ is handled vs the female vampires of the story, because it is presented very differently!

Just as there’s pretty disturbing racism and antisemitism all over Dracula, there’s gender and sex stuff too. It is, in fact, all over vampires in general, and analyzing how they’re wrapped up in anxiety about sexuality, especially anxieties about what were considered ‘fringe sexualities’ (whether internalized or externalized) and how that was wrestled with and played with through the years, is pretty fascinating! And you’re doing yourself as disservice if you ignore it. It’s often very interesting, it’s not all bad, we love our monsters, it’s part of a proud tradition, but there was a society that created it that you shouldn’t dismiss. These are very basic takes, but apparently they’re still important to talk about it, since you guys are now actively dismissing them as soon as you start liking the characters.

Just because you want to look at things from a character motivation perspective doesn’t mean the social perspective and social mores aren’t at play. It can simultaneously be true that “the horror is the Lucy is a different person” and “the horror is Lucy’s sexual forwardness”. It can be true that “there’s more to Lucy than trepidation about sexuality’ and ‘that’s almost certainly meant to be a part of her tragedy for sure’. Multiple things can coexist. If you want nuance to exist you can’t just say interpretations that conflict with you having an entirely fun time are somehow more shallow. We can love the monsters, and love the characters, but realize the way we love them now doesn’t always reflect how it would have come across to many of those who first read about it, or even most people who read it today.

#dracula daily #like i said i'm not down for an intense conversation but needed to get this off my chest

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darklinaforever · 28 days

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Yes of course... The show favors TB and Aegon II is not a rapist at all in the book ! This is something he will never do ! 🤪

The Greens trailer is longer than the TB one for fucking sake !

The TG is whitewashed to death in the series. It's just a fact. What good side of the Greens in the fucking book ?! How can you tell me you haven't read the book without telling me you haven't read the book, moron.

Alicent becomes a teenager pimped by her father to marry the king Viserys. Whereas in the book she is 18 years old and wanted to be queen !

Otto pretends to care about the kingdom like the big hypocrite he is with stupid pseudo phrases of wisdom !

Criston commits killing people by accident /loss of control now, instead of during a normal tournament or voluntarily !

Aemond is the victim of harassment, even though he is the harasser in the book !

Aegon II the rapist, has insecurities related to mom and dad !!!

The Greens / Alicent usurp a stupid fucking misunderstanding.

But apparently, no, they are not highlighted positively in the show...

And women are reduced to victim roles regardless of teams in general.

I know for a fact that Rhaenyra is the one who ordered Vaemond's death in the book, I even got excited about this change in several posts ! In the show, not just Rhaenyra, but all the female characters adapted suffer huge changes from their book counterparts to give the impression that they are kinder and wiser than the men.

Once again, the Rhaenyra case with Vaemond, or Alicent who wanted to be queen, and Rhaenys who was the one who wanted to make war with the Dragons and not basic Daemon. Thanks, I read the book. Maybe before coming to complain that I haven't read it you should find out about my publications on Fire and Blood in general ! No ? Before speaking without knowing. Dumbass.

I know that Aegon II did not rape a handmaiden named Dyana in the book. But you really believe that a man who groped the servants without their consent and slept with an 11 / 12 year old girl, therefore seen as a child in the GRRM universe, is not a rapist masked by pro Greens propaganda of text ?! Learn to fucking read !

Clearly this person should go fuck themselves. I'm tired of always having idiots coming to my inbox or my comments /reblogs !

I didn't even bother to respond to this person. I just blocked her. And what will await anyone who reblogs my posts to say this type of stupidity or sends me anonymous requests or comments.

Honestly, I don't give a damn about being polite anymore. Pro TG, anti TB, anti Daemon, anti Rhaenyra, anti Daemyra, all fuck off my blog.

@kittenfangirl20 @nrilliree @lizzie-queenofmeigas

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doctordaddysir · 2 years

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A post I never thought I'd have to make

A few days ago there was a post made by instructor144 asking this "Need folks with better memory for details than my brain can manage to sound off here. Years back, we had a predator out there, claimed he was a "retired psychologist," fucked over some susceptible subs rather badly as I recall. Does anyone remember details, anyone fall victim to this guy, etc? Got a DM from a follower, looks like he's still out there doing his thing, but I'm fuzzy on the details after all this time."

At that time they were looking for a blog with the name of greywlf or a-greywlf, or iterations close to that. He's someone that has been around for years harassing, gaslighting, supposedly blackmailing etc. A really nasty person that claims to be a retired psychiatrist. He stops and restarts his blog with a slight twist on that name but the description and his posts are basically the same. He's really really bad news and should be a concern to everyone.

My problem now is that someone has "decided" that the picture of this person, positively identifies him as also being me and my blog. That person has spewed off that I AM a blackmailer etc and have been for years all based off a hunt for the other blog.

I AM NOT THIS PERSON NOR HAVE I EVER chased, harassed, blackmailed anyone. It's clear from his picture they posted what he looks like and it is a million percent not me. Someone just decided to tell people that I'm the same person and that I'm a predator.

I am all for warning people about predators, I even do it on my blog at times, but to have my name linked to it because I happen to have a beard and have the name doctor in my blog is insane to me.

I want to say thank you to the many friends that have reblogged the post and stated emphatically that it's not me. It means a lot.

For the record, I am a very happy Daddy Dom, who is not looking for anyone new and havent been looking for a long time. There are a few friends from Tumblr that are very close and have my personal phone number and see selfies from me a lot and they can attest that I'm not whoever this person is.

I've also met more some of my followers ,who became good friends, in person for lunch, to hang out, to talk, etc. I've even had impact sessions, play sessions etc with a few once we established all the needed boundaries, safety protocols, etc.

I have spent at least five years building this blog as a safe space to share my thoughts on this lifestyle and to share my stories.

I'm beyond disturbed and disappointed that my name has been attached to a vile person like that. I too remember different versions of greywlf over the years and know one follower in particular who had a bad run in with him back when she had a different blog name. She's changed the name of her blog since then and she's had the new name for several years, so I know he's been around a long time.

By all means get his blogs out there when you find them, but I am not this person, am not associated nor have I ever been.

I do not ask for people to send me dirty pictures, I don't send dirty pictures, I don't scroll my follower list and randomly message people hoping to "get my hooks in them".

It was even stated that I hated a certain blogger, instructor144, and blocked him years ago. That's definitely not the case, he and I have messaged on occasion and I have no hatred for that person nor have I ever blocked him "to keep him from finding me" etc etc etc.

This is honestly ridiculous that I'm even having to write this but I refuse to reblog that crazy post but will screenshot the post and some of my friends replies to tell the person that I'm not the person they're looking for, but those friends just get blocked by said person. It's sad and disappointing that one person can distort things to the point that the real predator is being lost in the shuffle.

#doctordaddysirapproved #allbeardsarenotthesame #safetyfirst #factsareimportant

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is-the-primate-vid-cute · 2 years

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Hey, I love your blog! I hope it's ok to ask homo sapian related questions, too.

How come humans stand out so differently from other primates? We seem a lot larger, more intelligent and also we are mostly hairless (Sort of.).

I've kind of answered this before, but I haven't really broken it down completely, so let's talk!

Why are humans so weird?

Size: Big and large. Being a large species can be advantageous, but it can also be very risky. Pretty much any large species started out much smaller (a few million years ago at least) and has gotten bigger over time. The larger you are the more food you need to sustain yourself, the slower you tend to reproduce, and the fewer offspring you tend to have. Australopithecus aferensis, our ancestor hominid from 2.9-3.9 million years ago was much smaller than modern humans! They ranged in height from 3 to almost 5 feet tall as adults, and reached maturity much faster than us. Over time, as resources became secure and we began to eat more protein and fat rich foods, we were able to develop longer periods of dependancy in childhood and old age and grow larger both in stature and in brain size.

Intelligence: Pretty smart! As I mentioned in the previous point, being able to eat high value foods in terms of caloric content, fat, and protein allowed early hominids to start developing larger brain-to-body ratios. Having a big brain is hard work! A whopping 20% of the body's energy is spent on the brain, and that's in a resting state! A species that is primarily focussed on surviving is going to use brain power for the bare essentials like perception and what we would think of as instinctual processes. However, despite the big expense of running a big brain, there is also a big pay off. The more complex our cognitive processes got, the more ways we were able to get an edge on other predators and secure resources we needed to maintain this brain mass. We started using tools, planning and strategizing, and secured our place as what we think of as the smartest ape.

Hair: Bald(ish). I say all the time that the catalyst of humanity is walking upright, but it may surprise you to learn that walking upright made us bald! It may also surprise you to learn that we actually have the same amount of hair as chimpanzees in pure numbers. While hair is very advantageous for keeping warm, keeping the sun, bugs, and dirt off you, it isn't for everyone. As we became upright walkers we became very good at walking long distances for long periods of time, but what about when you have to run? Bursts of exertion are hard on the human body, even if you are fit running takes a lot of work in several parts of the body. The solution? Become sweaty beasts. Our micro fine hairs that cover our entire body serve the purpose of hair by wicking sweat away from the skin, but are also so fine that we can better benefit from the slightest breezes to help us cool off. This also means we need to drink a lot of water, but no one said it was perfect. We keep our hair on our heads to protect us from sun exposure, have eyelashes and eyebrows to protect our eyes, and have body hair to protect the most sensitive parts of our bodies from internal and external dirt.

So thats the basics! We are definitely a weird species as far as earths creatures go: no one really does it like us, and it's been many million years in the making of our species. I'm also going to once again plug my human evolution info playlist on YouTube if you want to know more!

#mod J #inquiring minds want to know #hominids #evolution

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gothhabiba · 9 months

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hi! i hope you're doing well. i was wondering if i could ask you if you've written/know of any writing about maintaining a vegan lifestyle while recovering from an eating disorder. whatever i've googled about this subject has given me...p questionable results imo? if for any reason you'd rather not answer this question, ofc you're not obligated to! ❣️❣️❣️thank you either way :)

I’ve been thinking about this question for a while—& I’ve gotten similar ones in the past—and to be honest I can’t say I’ve experienced what you’re going through. My vegetarianism (if not my veganism) predates my history of disordered eating by several years. I don’t experience veganism as ‘restriction’ akin to disordered eating—I never would have thought to compare the two things—it’s not that I’m not giving myself unconditional permission to eat whatever I want to, it’s just that I don’t really consider non-vegan food (or at the very least meat) to be “edible.” I guess what I’m describing *is* a taboo that I’ve built up around certain foods, but it dates from my childhood and doesn’t feel unnatural to me. The motives behind it are moral ones and thus very different from the impetus behind my disordered eating.

That being said, I think that if you’re experiencing veganism as restriction, it might help to take note of when this feeling crops up. Is it when you’re obliged to choose a different option at a restaurant than you might have wanted? When a bakery doesn’t have any vegan sweets? When a coworker offers you something non-vegan and you’re obliged to decline? This kind of thing is why I originally learned to bake—it was before a lot of places had vegan options, so if I wanted to eat cake anytime in the next several years I would have to make it myself. Making or seeking out alternatives to non-vegan things that you perceive to be just as good as what you’re missing out on might help a lot. I’ve been told several times that a certain cooking blog that may or may not exist and may or may not be attached to me has aided someone with ED recovery. There are ways to enjoy food, to seek food out, to have fun with food, that don’t go outside of a vegan diet—whether that’s seeking out vegan food culture in your area (if it exists) or learning to cook and bake vegan food yourself. And there are vegan recipes and food blogs that aren’t motivated by an interest in ‘health’—I’d recommend finding some recipes that you’re excited about and continuing to try new things.

If none of this helps, and you’re continually experiencing keeping to a vegan diet as a feeling of restriction, shame, or guilt around food, then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with putting veganism on hold for now, or leaving it entirely. Eating disorders are devastating physically and psychologically, and your health and well-being are more important. Even a switch to vegetarianism may give you a little bit of leeway. (If you’re going to go this route, consider seeking out advice from people who’ve done the same on how to re-incorporate foods gradually so as not to trouble your digestive system too much—I’ve heard it can be rough at first if you’re not careful!)

#I have no clew why I drafted some of these posts instead of queueing them.....#Anonymous #questions #vegan #disordered eating #advice

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egg-emperor · 1 year

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Whatever happened to the days of people simply blocking a person for producing art/writing they don't like instead of slandering them and accusing of terrible crimes? In my day when someone created a ship/headcanon/whatever that made us uncomfortable, we just blocked them and moved on with our day. We didn't comb through their blog for the tiniest bit of evidence that can be used to paint them as a monster/predator. Nor did we fling around serious felonies like confetti.

I know right? I hate this whole "if I don't like them nobody else can" thing in fandom and how they can't just personally dislike or be uncomfortable with someone or something, they always have to treat it like as a legitimate threat and accuse it of any serious immoral thing they can twist it into, to attack someone publicly and get them kicked out of public spaces while claiming they're doing the morally good thing in smearing their name.

In this situation I was upset to suddenly be dropped by people I'd known for years over a misunderstanding without a chance to explain but had they left it at that, it would've been frustrating but I could've moved on easily and in peace. But it becomes especially harmful and absolutely malicious when they drag me through the mud for months beyond their circle and turn anyone against me they can, who weren't involved in the slightest.

If someone isn't actively intentionally harming others with proof, it should be down to what the individual person thinks and if they choose whether to block or not for comfort, based on their personal experience and judgement. The second someone goes out their way to slander someone to make others agree with them and their own personal feelings, they become far more harmful than anything they claim their target to be doing.

This is one of the most harmful things that frustrates me most too. It does a lot more damage beyond my reputation as it risks others and even themselves not being taken seriously in times it'll be true and necessary to warn people because of false claims like this. They put all their energy into slandering instead of warning people about genuinely dangerous people and supporting anyone hurt. It shows how fake, performative, and manipulative it is.

They can only cry wolf for so long and one day they'll regret it when it's really needed and it's not treated with the severity and seriousness it needs. Or in many cases they were actually projecting or hypocritical in it too, so it's only a matter of time before it's revealed that they're not perfect either and someone gives them a taste of their own medicine with the exact type of slander they encouraged. Then they'll finally realize how harmful this is.

When I tried to speak out about a real serious situation of someone extremely dangerous who was reported to authorities, many didn't believe and victim blamed as they were so used to expecting it to be fake. So it's another reason I'm passionately angry because I've now been on both ends of not being believed in serious situations and being slandered in false ones. It hurts that people lying about me has been believed over me.

#asks

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poppythetoppy · 2 years

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When you are young, please be careful in any kink community, including the tickling community.

CW: mentions of child abuse/grooming

I wanted to make this post because I have several young followers, some fresh into the community as young as 18, and I'm sure you've been preached to about being careful on the internet. Here is a huge reason why: F_Stop_Fitzgerald, aka vstopfox, aka Richard Burdett was arrested for several offenses against minors. (general TW for Toronto police report page)

He was a well-known and popular man posting on gonewildaudio several years ago. He fell off the internet and people wondered where he'd gone. FSF had MANY fans.

Those of you may know I used to be a performer on GWA, it's where I got my start. So I found out this information on that subreddit and immediately felt sick. I want to mention I am not an online victim of his, I am a victim of a different online predator who was in the GWA community (but deactivated long ago).

Are you young and feel preached to sometimes about being careful on the internet? This is why.

You don't know who is on the other side of the screen. They didn't know Fitzgerald. Predators will lie, lie, lie until you are so invested in them that you don't know what's real & what's not. If you ever find out about their crimes they can convince you it wasn't "that bad".

No one is saying you're dumb because you're young. What I am saying is they are good at finding vulnerable people. Are you a 19-year-old with depression who blogs about it? Predators see that. Are you an 18-year-old fresh to the kink community and has self-esteem issues? Predators see that.

I'm not saying you can't make friends with older people in the community (and vice versa). All I am asking is you watch out for some red flags:

Are they moving things too quickly? As in wanting to know your real name, where you live, your phone number, and what you look like within days.

If they show you a picture of themselves: do they look their age? Do not feel bad for guessing, predators will lie saying they are younger than they are to make you feel more "safe".

Do they mainly talk to other very young people? I am 32 and have made friends of all ages in this community. If someone is talking to only young people that is a bad sign.

Do they say early on you can confide your troubles with family, school, and friends with them? Please be wary of this. This can be used to manipulate you into isolation.

I also want to add you are not stupid if you've ever trusted someone & believed them, then they turned out to be a predator. They are good at manipulation & know just what to say. It's never your fault.

#I hope he rots in prison #feel free to rb

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finchness · 14 days

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it was a good year, and this is a good age. i like the square numbers of my birthday (4 16) and i like it when i turn a square age, and the ages that have been multiples of five (5 10 15 20) have historically been good for me. when i was five i drew in pencil on the radiator of my childhood bedroom and noted that i was five, and did this again at ten, and fifteen, and now i guess this blog is my drawing on the radiator. victoria pointed out that we've been friends for over a decade, and my blog predates our friendship... i remember when my personal post tag was "charlotte is 14." and yet i remain on the website. also i have a beard now and i didn't a year ago at all

it was a good day, too; i ran up and down the small hill by my house 25 times and thanked the past versions of myself and the people who have come and gone from my life. it was hot and i don't remember a lot of it, just that it felt the way phil must feel hitting that big stick against the ground. and then i went to school and did my normal tuesday tasks and sent people hearts and things, and called michael and my siblings and dad on the phone, and tried to call victor to no response. and ate real sushi and watched abbot elementary. a stress-free life. and now i'll go to sleep soon

evaluating my goals from last year:

"consistently apply sunscreen to my stupid bald head before standing out in the sun for several hours" FAILED :(

"give houston at least four months before i decide that i hate it there" NUANCE in that i loved houston, and texas, the moment i got here

"start lifting once i have access to the university gym" FAILED however i can now run 15+ miles without stopping, and victor and i are going to lift together over the summer

"stay sober?????" FAILED although i drink significantly less than i used to; excluding Lindsey and Jason's Great German Adventure I had maybe twelve? drinks total in the past year, and a quarter of those were on new year's eve (and only one since then)

goals for next year:

consistently apply sunscreen to my stupid bald head before standing out in the sun for several hours (second attempt)

eat omurice at some point

go on one date

finish an ultramarathon

#vegan memes

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maxinelugg · 4 months

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Mephistopheles Update #1 - Concept, Head and Hair

I'm excited to share some progress on my latest personal project, and I thought I'd write a blog post discussing some of my thoughts behind the project and breaking down some of the processes involved so far!

Concept & Project Goals

Almost a year ago, I had the idea to create two full 3D characters based on my own interpretation of the two main characters of a 1592 play by Christopher Marlowe, The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus. These characters would be the titular Doctor Faustus, and his demonic companion, Mephistopheles (not to be confused with the Mephistopheles of the D&D Forgotten Realms setting), created to fit within the Renaissance Germany setting of the playscript. In the play, itself based on German legend, Faustus sells his soul to Lucifer in exchange for forbidden magical knowledge, supplied to him by a damned servant of Lucifer, Mephistopheles, who takes the form of a Franciscan friar. The idea of a deal with the devil, of selling one's soul or integrity in exchange for short-term material gain, often with eternally damning consequences, predates this play and the legend it's based on, but this story is still perhaps the most prominent example of this trope in the literary canon.

However, after a little while of letting the idea simmer, I'd decided to shelve it, as I felt it was somehow a bit odd to create a pair of character models based on a play from over four hundred years ago that hardly anyone had heard of. It wasn't until I was playing Baldur's Gate 3, several months later, that the idea returned to me. In seeing the many fantastic demon character models in that game, I realised I really, really, really wanted to revisit this idea. Suddenly, the project had life again.

Back when I first had this idea, I'd created some concept art for myself, as seen above. As you might notice, some things changed!

I liked a lot about this concept, but after time away from it, I'd realised the bright colour scheme, while definitely inventive and bold, and would read better from afar, might not be the most appropriate to the character, setting or premise.

Ultimately, later in this project, I plan to pose the character with some props (books, similar to those in the concept above). The pose will be different from that of the concept art, as I will try to push for something more dynamic. I will hopefully get to share some of the progress on this soon in the next blog post.

Gathering Reference

1. Photographic monk/friar reference material

Straightforward, simple photographic reference of a friar/monk's garments (habits) and accessories. These are contemporary photographs, but are nonetheless the highest quality imagery I could find. This will be most relevant later into this project when I begin to focus on his clothing and attire.

In the Marlowe play, Mephistopheles appears at first in his true demonic form, and is immediately demanded by Faustus to reappear in the form of a Franciscan friar instead, as the demonic form was too unsightly. It's implied that this new form of a friar appears very mundane, so I'm twisting the source material here to make him a demonic looking friar. Perhaps he has possessed the body of a human monk, but the demonic spirit inside has had an effect on the outward appearance, with horns bursting through his forehead and skin turned pallid.

2. Primary face references

While I was not aiming for a specific likeness, I wanted to gather references of quite gaunt and aged male faces. It turned out that Peter Cushing's face was especially good as reference, as he had the long, hollow-cheeked face anatomy I was after.

When it comes to faces, I always find myself returning to the main cast of characters from Dragon Age: Inquisition for inspiration (I also just love this game in general, to be honest). I find the character work in that game to be an excellent example of exaggerating facial anatomy just enough to convey and emphasise personality and character, but not so far as to feel uncanny, and to fit into the rest of the art direction of the game which is, for the most part, realistic.

I used a 3DScanStore diffuse and displacement pack for this project. All of the UVs of their heads and texture packs are the same, and they provide a free head base mesh (with the same UVs), which I wrapped onto the surface of the face highpoly sculpt using the SoftWrap blender addon (Other methods include Zwrap and even Houdini). After wrapping this face base mesh to match the base sculpt as closely and cleanly as possible, you can throw on 3DScanStore's displacement and/or diffuse maps onto the mesh, with the added benefit of now having much better face topology.

I really love this technique, as 3DScanStore's scan data is very good quality and straightforward to use. The diffuse map is an excellent base for texturing later. While scan data displacement maps can be useful as a finishing touch, it's important to keep in mind that a face still needs to read well at a primary and secondary form level before tertiary details are added.

3. Hair reference material

The hair provided a unique challenge. While the hairstyle was not complex, finding photographic reference for a tonsure was difficult. I ended up looking to a lot of historical paintings and illustrations. Using illustrations as reference has an added benefit of giving insight into how the hairstyle might be interpreted artistically, though this would be ideally supplemented by thorough photographic reference.

I sometimes find it useful to quickly sketch over a 3D work in progress to visualise my next steps (I did the same thing for my Guardian project!). It's a way of testing a visual idea without getting bogged down with how slow 3D iteration can often be.

I might revisit the hair a tad a later date once the character is posed, as I'm not totally satisfied with it. It might also be a chance for me to test how iterative and non-destructive I can make the posing process later on.

4. Horn surface details

Sometimes I like to find inspiration in abstract, natural textures and shapes, especially when facing a bit of an art block about a part of a design/character. As pictured above, the design for the horns changed a bit. The previous iteration was fine, but I felt it was reading a bit dragon-scale-like and I had, admittedly, failed to look at much ref for it, so it was feeling a bit uninspired. I could've changed them to look more like conventional goat/Caprinae horns, but I figured I might as well try how they'd look with a texture inspired by the bark texture pictured above. These shaped flowed with the direction of the horns, as if they'd grown directionally out of the head, which is something I'd wanted to evoke.

Pictured below are some other examples of abstract textures and shapes (generally from my mood boards, not necessarily for this project) that could be sources of inspiration when art block hits. It's very easy to get caught up in things and forget that a lot of art is fundamentally about shapes, colours and textures.

5. Spectacles

Simple ref for some wooden spectacles. My initial concept didn't include these, but as I began to design the design in 3D, I soon realised spectacles would be helpful signifiers of a scholarly archetype. Also makes him a bit more distinct as a character design.

6. Vibe Check

These paintings and illustrations, from a variety of time periods, will be more relevant later into the project when I think about my final presentation, but I keep them here in my Pureref as a reminder of imagery and a general vibe I'd like to try to evoke. This keeps me focused on a visual goal, which proves to be important when working on a concept that's changing frequently.

Developing Productive & Sustainable Habits

Before now, when I've worked on self-driven projects, they have primarily been for university assignments, which had a solid deadline, and I could work towards full-time. Since finishing university and starting a full-time job, figuring out how to weave in time for personal work, and how to push that work as far as I can visually, has been something to adapt to.

The following are various habits I've tried to make an active effort to implement to better achieve these goals:

Not waiting for inspiration to hit like a lightning strike, and instead scheduling time to dedicate to personal work. Obviously, the most rewarding experience in working on art is when you're in a flow state and completely lost in the moment, often right after you've made a breakthrough or are otherwise intensely inspired and moved to create. The kind of flow state where you look down at the clock and it's somehow already 3am. These moments are awesome, but are unsustainable to depend on in the long term. Making time, even if it's only a couple of hours at a time, over a long time, is better for your work and your life (at least in my case!).

Coming back to it with fresh eyes. Whenever I'm working on personal work, I like to take progress screenshots and post them in a personal Discord server at the end of every session I spend on it. This means I can look back at it on my phone or wherever whenever I need. And sometimes it's good to not look back on it until a day or two has passed, because with fresh eyes errors are glaringly obvious. In working on a face, like I have so far with this project, I found this to be especially important, as I'm still fairly novice at facial anatomy so my eye for what does and doesn't look right is still developing.

Seeking feedback. Admittedly, this is something I could've done better with this project so far, but getting input from others is invaluable.

Inspiration is more than the Artstation front page. This one is important, and I really mean it. It's a topic deserving of an entire blog post, but I think it's important for game artists to look beyond other games/game-adjacent media for inspiration. Watch fashion shows, go to museums, read some books, watch some documentaries, go to a contemporary art exhibition, watch some theatre - literally whatever. I recently read Lent by Jo Walton (and loved it) which, while I didn't read for this project, it ended up being massively inspirational; the book's detailed descriptions of the life of a monk in 15th century Italy reinvigorated me when I'd hit a lull with this work.

That's all for now (: I hope to be able to share more updates on this project soon! Thanks for reading!

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anarcho-smarmyism · 1 year

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Hi i'm sorry but the 'miner' post reminded me of something and I wanna tell someone.

My bf's ex has a blog that said "minors DNI" and his ex is like 17 years old and I thought that was funny. He's been posting kink stuff for several years as far as I'm aware (so far as starting a side blog for vore) but he's so adamant that minors don't look at his blog. My brother in christ you're the exact demographic that you dont think should look at your blog.

Sorry for bothering u I just think it's terribly funny and I wanted to tell someone lmao

It's just such a new and nuanced problem navigating the reality of minors being healthily sexual vs. minors being sexual publicly on the internet vs. making content that depicts minors having sex vs. adullts being in the same general space and needing to avoid that content and those spaces for both morality and legality's sake. Because no, you as an adult should not have to take down your porn site on the off chance that a kid might see it, but you also shouldn't neglect the precautions one can reasonably take to keep content like porn and hate speech out of kids' spaces.

And that's not even taking into account bad faith actors like genuine predators who use sex-positive and "fuck them kids" and "fiction is not reality" type rhetoric to their advantage, and genuine Puritanical Christo-fascists using rhetoric concerned with protecting minors from such predators in order to spread groomer libel against the queer and LGBT+ community.

A lot of adults, on the internet and irl, just treat minors like pets or possessions of their parents, washing their hands completely of their responsibility to be good to other people including those too young to have agency over their lives, or to have developed any good sense to speak of. It leaves minors vulnerable to sketchy spaces where predators could blend in with their intended victims, normalizing inappropriate and manipulative behavior, and also to children being tokenized as pawns to a pernicious political agenda

#cleaning out asks i forgot to reply to #csa mention #asks #anonymous #oppress fandom moms #<- a tag i used abt the subject for a while ALTHO i dont think i would still stand by a lot of what i used to say

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helluva-world-innit · 7 months

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Not entirely happy with how this turned out but my skill level is what it is right now and I did say I wanted to keep this blog somewhat active so here's a drawing I colored today of my depiction of Wrath.

So, I'm working on art of the Rings to try and get a feel for drawing them ahead of time and I'm going to explain how things work in each Ring too. Buckle up, it's a long post under the cut.

In my version of the story, Wrath is the first ring of Hell, top-down. It is represented by the color red but, as you can see here, there is a lot of orange and yellow as well. Now, I liked the concept of Wrath being hot and having lots of lava flowing through it but not the idea of it being the agricultural center of the realm. It should be mostly about fucking shit up and bloodshed. Making Sinners hurt for entertainment purposes. Oh, that's a thing too: Sinners can move between the Rings in my version. In fact, there is no one Ring they all come into Hell through. Upon death, a Sinner drops into whatever sin was closest to their heart when they died. E.g. Someone who was killed while pulling a heist goes to Greed. Someone who died of a drug overdose goes to Gluttony, etc. Lots of Sinners end up in Wrath and Envy Rings. Not because that's the first time they've sinned, but just that's the strongest one for them at the time.

So, Wrath is pretty unbearable, heat-wise and denizen-wise. Lots of toxic and ambush predator animals along with a thriving headhunting trade among the local imps. The main draw for the Hellborn and some ambitious and fearless Sinners is the arena: Satan's Jaws (or just The Jaws; everyone knows which ones you mean here). Black sands and no sun. The whole Ring is basically a massive cave-like structure with large stalactites hanging from high above. And yes, they do often fall and impale anyone unfortunate enough to be underneath them when they do. The flying things are dragons. They roam wild in Wrath and cause plenty of problems when they move into one of the few densely populated areas. They're also good eatin' if you can manage to kill them before they kill you.

Satan's Jaws is where battles are fought to entertain the Ringmaster herself, Satan. If she's impressed enough, the winner might get to "live" to fight again next week. If she hated it bad enough, she'll just punish and "kill" you herself. See, Sinners don't die by traditional methods. Only way to truly end them is with holy weapons or holy fire. The torment can last indefinitely as holy weapons are taken off any angel that strays into Hell and kept only where Ringmaster Leviathan of the Envy Ring knows and it ain't talkin'.

That's the other thing about Wrath: on the border, between Hell, Earth, and Heaven a perpetual battle is fought by the soldiers of Hell and of Heaven. Called a "skirmish" by some and an "excuse to invade and conquer" by others, it has been going on since the last war between the realms. To feed the never ending conflict's need for powerful bodies, every demon with rank is encouraged to produce as many children as possible. Some are incapable of this task, again, thanks to the War of the Fallen where the angels who rebelled against Heaven were cast down into Hell to remain and made sterile on top of that. Some demons, however produce enough offspring for several armies. Satan is one such being. All of the imps in Hell are descended from her, if removed by several millennia. she hasn't felt the need to produce more children since around the fall of the Roman Empire.

Sinners are often conscripted to fight on the border or in The Jaws either as a torture method or with the promise of being initiated by a Ringmaster to the rank of Overseer if they show great skill or strength. Hellborns don't survive the process of initiation but enjoy putting Sinners and angels "in their place" and volunteer to do so in droves.

The Circus is also held here once every year. A Hell-wide event that is meant to encourage inter-Ring unity and is basically where some of the worst behavior Hell has to offer goes down including, but not limited to: larceny, kidnapping, murder (Hellborns can and do die if killed while in Hell), hard drug abuse, sexual misconduct of all varieties (both consensual and not; it is Hell and it does happen. i will not be depicting it, but it does happen), drunken and wanton destruction of anything not bolted down (hence why The Jaws are the chosen locale), and cannibalism. It's like if Burning Man was arranged by Jeff Dalmer, okay? Just all around madness and debauchery fueled by a need to mentally escape Hell and also prove you're the worst of the worst. There is also a competition held. A series of tests the Ringmasters issue to the newest Overseer hopefuls. Last one standing gets endorsed and initiated by the Ringmaster who chose them to participate.

Notable characters from this Ring are Millie/her family, Striker, and as yet to be revealed Overseers of the Ring. Also planning on doing a map view of this Ring later so I can paint a better picture of where everything is in relation to each other.

Up next: Gluttony Ring!

#jack is wording again #7 levels of wtf #helluva redesign #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #wrath ring

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beastofwant · 8 months

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2023 is the year I just go insane and start naming fucking names. stop putting these people on my dash.

Jacket "Richard" babylonbirdmeat and I lived together for about 8 months and those were legitimately the most traumatic 8 months of my life. I went from believing that I was safe, accepted, and finally had a family to fearing for my life to the point that I would barricade my door and sleep with an axe under my pillow in case I had to defend myself. This is in part because of the other person we shared the apartment with, who I would eventually go on to date, but at least he doesn't seem to have a blog (or at least any degree of reach) anymore!

@thegreylodge-warning goes into a fair amount of detail. jacket is also a child predator + the fact that I still see them interact with teenagers on here makes me feel utterly sick to my stomach.

when I moved in I was under the impression that jacket had a diagnosis of DID because of how he spoke about it and how cagey he was about the condition that enabled him to be on SSI. turns out he wasn't diagnosed, I don't know if he's ever even fucking been to any mental health professional, it's for physical conditions that are irrelevant to what I'm talking about. but despite this he still used the terminology of a fucking trauma disorder for his larping horseshit. I was gullible and because this website's whole thing around "no system gatekeeping! believe people when they say they have a disorder!" I literally just shut off my brain because I didn't want to offend

full fucking offense, you cannot become multiple on purpose. you cannot astral project into a fictional universe and bring your favorite character back with you, because they are not real. Either you are severely schizophrenic (he was not) if you believe that or you are full of shit and trying to make a cult of three, which is exactly what jacket did. I was lovebombed, and then I was isolated, but by the time I was having doubts it was already way too late and the only reason I even managed to escape was because shit penultimately hit the fan at the start of the pandemic, so when the stimulus checks came in I was able to pay for a flight out of there.

#mad scrawl #+ then innes used the aftermath of this to take advantage of me again<3 #Let me tell you: This will not happen again.

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