#ppl like to be such dicks about this bc it is a surgery that's about pain and convenience First. so it's like oh why are you so

[sergle]

I really really need a reduction but I'm scared my boobs will be ugly and it will make my dysphoria worse. Idk why I'm telling you this but nobody really seems to understand :/

no, bc I COMPLETELY understand. something that stressed me out more than the money was the fear that I'd do all this work to get the surgery, and then my tits would look like dogshit. that feeling SPIKED again when I saw that first surgeon, who told me my tits sucked rather than telling me he didn't feel capable of performing a reduction on someone with Actually Big Tits. (his patient gallery was full of C-cups for the "before" photos.) this is a real fear, bc some surgeons are just garbage. they don't care about the aesthetics of breast reductions. this doesn't have to be the case at all, there are lots of surgeons who actually care about helping you and getting you a result that's lighter/smaller AND still looks like a boob. you'll need to commit to The Search, looking through patient galleries to see if they operate on people who look like you. but you Will find a surgeon with results you like, who's worked on breasts that are similar to yours, and then the fear will go away!!

#the upside of this fear is that it's not something that can sneak up on you- having a bad reduction result #it can't hit you out of nowhere. you aren't gonna trip and fall onto the surgical table #of a surgeon who isn't qualified to perform aesthetically pleasing breast reductions #you can't be tricked here. you look at the photos and then you set up the consult #and talk to the surgeon and you ask about what results you can expect #and it's all going to be given straight to you. if your surgeon doesn't do good work then it'll be apparent. #ppl like to be such dicks about this bc it is a surgery that's about pain and convenience First. so it's like oh why are you so #bent outta shape about the way they look?? oh only bc I'm a human person. and I don't want to feel bad. #you're allowed to be picky about your result and about your surgeon #sergle answers

[realbeefman]

rewatching community why is jeff winger so transgender. “you lost the right [to talk about women’s bodies] the moment you decided to grow a wang!” from 2x21 the entire little indian girl story from crit film studies HELLOOOOO

#*folding my hands* welcome to my presentation on what jeff wingers genitals would look like #actually i have specific opinions on all the community characters genitals in general but nobody wants to hear that #anyways i think he hasn’t had bottom surgery but was planning to before he got fired from lawyer fraud #and he has like a 4 inch t dick. does not shave but keeps himself well trimmed and used to wax #also his parents were supportive when he came out at likeee 16 (alr suspected somewhat) #they were somewhat not understanding just bc it was the 90s and people arent perfect #but his transness plays into his disconnect from them #bc he feels a lot of shame about it. well FELT past tense bc the greendale crew all know he’s trans and accept it #even pierce who jeff expected to constantly bring it up and harass him #was oddly supportive in a ‘doesnt totallh understand whats up but whatever’ #which helped him be a lot more Himself and get over some of that bc. here’s this group of all types of ppl #who donf care! who love and accept him and never question it! #community tv #jeff winger

[lustbcrne]

Okay this is most a genshin blog yeah; but I gotta ask for reasons, what exactly IS the dick situation on Boothill-

#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #//mjmdfbgkjf #//Bc from the start I straight up had a 'well that's ONE way to get bottom surgery-' clownery thoughts #//But at the same time #//Now I gotta #//Now I gotta know #//Cuz mans can go fucken HAM with the body-affirming mods now #//Bro can do fucken ANYTHING he wants; any fucken dick--or not--that he could DREAM of #//Can you imagine being fwb with this dude; and bro having a different dick (or not) for the occasion??? #//Bruh I would go fucken Feral #//And don't even get me started on the fucken hole on his lower back; like #//I get that's a whole charging port prolly; buuuut #//hjshdrg maybe that's getting outta hand actually lol #//I wanna screm to ppl about this; I am deadass jhdbgrjgtf #//Maybe I oughta find fics and see how creative folks get with it #Edit: My brain is not done yet #//What WOULD his dick be like anyway #//Hard light?? Silicone?? Stainless steels??? #//Would he want/be able to produce self-lubrication of a sorts?? Fluid to mimic cum??? #//Thinkings thinkings #//Would his body whirr and hum the closer he gets to climax? Systems simulating pleasure to him; possibly making it easier to overstim??? #//Oh god; would said fluids be like. Cooling lotion or smth??? #//Now that I think of it; dude could fucken length/girth however he wanted too #//Add any sort of bumps/ridges he’d wanted too #//Abd that’s without mentioning if he’d even wanna stick to a traditional looking dick hfbfb #//they are in SPACE the possibilities are heckin Endless

[rouge-the-bat]

i really do wonder what ppl who tout the "non-men loving non-men" definition of lesbian think about multigender people. do they EVER consider us? even a tiny bit? bc it certainly doesnt feel like it. it feels like any one of these situations:

they already dont think being multigender is a thing, and say shit like "you can only be a man, a woman, or nonbinary, not all of the above."

they quite literally dont think about how multigender people would work in relation to sexuality. they may claim to support us, but they dont pay attention to or care about the fact our gender identity ISNT just an isolated thing that has no affect or connection to anything else about us.

they look at my gender (genderfluid between woman, man, and many forms of nonbinary, more oftentimes a mix), and say oh well youre PARTIALLY a man in some way so that means you cant be a lesbian! so, basically my man-ness just "taints" me and negates the fact that im also a woman and nonbinary? what about the days where my genderfluidity contains no bit of man at all? can i only be a lesbian SOMETIMES?

they yell about non-men all they want, but see my gender and go, "oh not YOU though :) i mean people who are ONLY a man!" and not realize how that is 1. them not saying at all what they mean in their definition if still SOME men are okay and 2. extremely comes across as misgendering and that they dont see me as Actually a man if im not mono-gendered, regardless of their intention. if you are going to categorize people as "men or non-men" and try to fit me in only one or the other, you are misgendering me no matter what. non-men is not the same thing as non-mono-gendered-men.

and all of this also makes me wonder: what would these people think if they saw me in person, holding hands with my girlfriend?

for context: transmeds would 100% consider me a faker not only bc im genderfluid, use any pronouns (esp neos), and am without dysphoria (for gender anyways), but because theyd think im just cis. im afab with no hormone changes or surgery, nor do i want any (my ideal genitals being a dick or barbie-doll-smooth aside, since i dont care enough to do surgery about it, and any of my other gender ideals would require shapeshifting), i like my big boobs, AND im femme. my fat even adds to my curves. most people would probably read me as only a girl and not think twice about it, esp if im dressing up as femme as i like being at the time.

so, if these people shouting "non-men loving non-men" at those like me all the time ended up seeing me irl, what would they think? would they see im extremely femme and read as a girl while holding hands with my girlfriend (who isnt femme but still is easily read as a girl) and think oh yeah, thats a lesbian right there? because a huge part of me says that they absolutely would have no issue with it

who knows if anyone who swears up and down by the "non-men loving non-men" definition will actually read this, but i REALLY wish more people would actually hear out multigender folks and see how definitions like this are incompatible with us. think about how our identity doesnt exist in a vacuum. realize that plenty of us ARE lesbians no matter what anyone else says, and we do not abide to your """inclusive""" definition that actually doesnt consider our existence at all.

or at least realize identity labels dont have a one-size-fits-all definition in the vastness of queer experiences, that people are going to have definitions for things that are different from yours, and you dont hold the One True Right Definition. realize that definitions are not rules that are placed upon words, theyre explanations for how these words are being used across the world, through time, and vary from person, place, and time. definitions are fluid, not static, and many words have multiple definitions.

#lesbian #multigender #genderfluid #lesboy #genderfluid lesbian #multigender lesbian

[genderkoolaid]

some ppl act so weird about phalloplasty. like "it cant get hard on its own... whats even the point u could just wear a strap/packer" the point is i want a dick?? of a certain size attached to my body?? like frankly while i want sensation & am gonna prioritize that, its not a major concern of mine bc more than anything i just want to have a dick on my body. i want to look down and see my body in a way that feels right. yeah i could wear a strap but i want a strap. all the time. thats why i want phallo. like do u think dicks are only good if they can be used for "proper" sex? can u really not imagine someone just wanting a dick to have because it makes them euphoric? i want penis surgery to have a penis it's really that simple

#its so weird. #also psa uhhh dont call other peoples gender affirmation surgeries pointless/worthless/etc. its a dick (ha) move #idk if its not worth it TO YOU its worth it to me and many other people #m. #phalloplasty

[daisylark]

Hey, this is kinda gonna be a rant so if you're not in the mood for that feel free to delete.

I saw your post -

https://www.tumblr.com/daisylark/741324260680794112/man-takes-a-womans-spot-in-a-womens-shelter-and?source=share

- and it hit me a certain way. Yes, I understand that this man is making it up, it's a fantasy. But I am a woman who has actually experienced living in a homeless shelter with a man, and it got to me.

I was 19 at the time, this was about six years ago. Literally the first thing he said to me when I walked in was that he still had his dick. (He phrased it as being intact and not having had bottom surgery.) I had no idea what he was talking about. at the time I was unfamiliar with trans ideology. Frantically googling to figure out what was happening was how I originally found radfems, bc they were the only people calling this shit out.

I could go on, but the thing that really gets me is that this experience was six or seven years ago, right. I'm in a better, more stable place in life, and have been seeking therapy for several years now. And the worst thing is THAT EXPERIENCE SPECIFICALLY has been a consistent impediment to getting to help.

Because even when I find a therapist, which is harder than you'd think, and do intake, which is exhausting and damaging every time, etc etc etc, so far no one can handle the specific trauma that I have from seeking shelter when I was at my most vulnerable and being gaslit and forced to cohabit with a man by the ppl who should have protected me.

And because my story is such a hot button issue, everyone kind of blue screens when they hear about it. Y'know? It's a little much to believe, in the current political climate, if you're trying to be a good progressive or whatever, that a 6ft pwecious wittle twans woman would act like that in a woman's homeless shelter. He was in his 40s btw. Ppl don't want to engage with it. They want me to be quiet. They've already decided I'm exaggerating.

The last therapist I had I started talking about this experience and the way it damaged my trust in institutions and so on, and the therapist interrupted to be confused, called him "they," and was asking about how he identified. I can be sitting right in front of someone I've known for months and the moment a man is brought up his hypothetical feelings take precedence over me.

So I understand that the reddit post is made up. But I saw it and I had to say, this shit fucking happens. It happens and it's real. The fawning over him doesn't happen quite like that, but in my experience, if a man is admitted to a woman's shelter his needs are already being prioritized and that is unlikely to change. I hate these men - the ones who go to the shelters, the ones who fantasize about it, the ones who support it. I won't forgive anyone who supports it.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I am so sorry that this happened to you. These are exactly the kind of things that we are afraid of. These are the things that people insist never happen, but they do.

These kind of things were the main things that peaked me. That a man's feelings would matter more than a woman's physical safety. It's horrifying.

#radical feminism #radblr #terfblr #terfsafe #gender critical

[concretepuppy]

I didn't know how much i needed to see a person who isn't a binary man have phallo. I feel like I've only ever seen hypermasculine dudes who want to be cis talk about their experiences!! Ur hot btw

thanks! there are a lot of folks who have had phallo who are fem(me), various flavors of nonbinary, all sorts of people! and i think there would be more woman-aligned people who pursue it if there wasnt a weird stigma abt it. i know a lot of women, stone butches in particular, who talk abt wanting a sensate dick and when i say “so get phallo” they react like they’d never considered that. but women can get phallo! men can get vaginoplasty! and they do! but i know i have gotten flak for talking about being a woman who chose to get a dick, both from people who think that bc i got phallo i’m actually a man just lying and saying i’m a woman so i can trick lesbians into fucking me, or bc they assumed i’m a trans woman (when all i said was “i’m a woman w a dick”) and then find out i’m not and they say i’m appropriating trans women’s experiences or whatever. and i think that sentiment keeps a lot of ppl from pursuing bottom surgery, even tho it’s not always explicitly said, it’s an attitude that makes itself known

#concrete talks #answered #a lot of times when i talk abt being a woman who had phallo #the normative gays and tenderqueers start spewing TERF rhetoric at me #and luckily i have a thick skin bc of my job so it’s whatever for me personally #but it could easily make one feel isolated and ostracized

[detransraichu]

lmao you got kicked from the server for being transphobic. have a terrible night.

by saying i'm making a blog and a book about the new tirfism movement, trans-inclusive radical feminism…?

i reblog material for my book and also just for the sake of knowledge without only reblogging the things i 100% agree with, so if you glance at my blog you may assume the worst. though a quick read on my pinned post could've told you otherwise. i try to engage, bring up compromises, trying to finally end the radfem-trans war. bc both trans people and radfeminism ain't going nowhere. and radfeminism has a loooong powerful history for afab rights and women's rights and it goes directly against capitalistic girlboss pop feminism in a very empowering way, which we 1000% need right now

and actually, more and more transmasc and transfem people are becoming tirfs too! because 1. transmasc ppl are afab and were actually always included in radfeminism, though rampant misgendering kept them away til now; but now more and more radfems are willing to use more respectful language like afab/amab instead of female/male in discussions and making sure not to misgender anyone unnecessarily or be generally rude

and 2. transfem people are noticing afabmisogyny in leftist spaces and want to finally acknowledge their amab privilege, however complex it may be; they may be disprivileged on the axis of transmisogyny, but they are ALSO privileged on the basis of not being afab, of not having gone through a traumatic afab upbringing, and not having issues like period tax, abortion rights, pregnancy, afab genital mutilation, lack of research into afab health, and of course amab penis-on-vagina violence. the grand majority of transfemmes haven't had bottom surgery according to stats i've found, and thus do not know the experience of having a completely afab-typical body. and they have the power to experience intense genital pleasure from penetrating someone, unlike afab folks (even those with bottom surgery, i'd argue) which puts anyone able to be penetrated at risk if the person with a dick wants pleasure badly enough, especially people with vaginas whom the majority of dick-having people are attracted to, and often have the ability to impregnate as well. that is a power imbalance, you simply cannot argue otherwise imo

transmisogyny is real. but so is afabmisogyny. that's the root of why "transandrophobia" is becoming a popular term in transmasc spaces, though shamed heavily. afab rights matter. radfeminism has fought for specifically afab rights for years and years, and i believe it can be made trans-friendly. trans people are jumping on the wagon too. transfem folks can also care about afab rights, and want to be good allies to cis women & transmascs!

instead of giving up and leaving radical feminism to people who view trans folks in bad faith and painting it all as inherently evil, why not rejoin it and learn about it and carve out a space for trans voices? what if people had abandoned other social justice movements bc a harmful subcategory formed? that's giving into harmful rhetoric, giving into bigots. i ain't a coward. i'm detrans, i have lived as trans since i was 12 up until last year, i came out and faced transphobia, i legally changed my name, i have annoying af hrt stubble, i have beloved trans friends who i'd fight for anyday of the week. radfems and gender critical folks aren't an inevitable enemy. there's dipshits, sure, lots of them. but it's not cursed grounds. you can pour fertilizer on it and regrow a healthier, more trans-friendly movement

#lay text #asks #trans #transmasc #transfem #transandrophobia #research tag

[freckliedan]

yk when you talk about mpreg (you absolutely do not have to answer his btw) do you mean the one getting pregnant has """"female"""" anatomy or just . is a cis man who Somehow gets pregnant

coz i've never known like when ppl talk about mpreg do you imagine one of the people as trans or just Somehow being a cis man w a uterus of a Secret third thing like????!!

hi anon!!!!! ty for asking me this i LOVE to yell about mpreg. the thing about this is that literally every person you ask would have a different answer. and i personally am fascinated by how many different ways there are of conceptualizing and writing about mpreg so i'm willing to read most things?

on my own blog when i'm riffing about phan mpreg i would say i'm picturing neither of the options you mentioned in your first paragraph?

in general¹ i am at best disinterested, at worst squicked by mpreg or omegaverse (or even transmasc fics) where the character who can get pregnant's body is referred to with exclusively "female" terms/has a body like a cis woman's/that is pointedly emasculated or feminized.

nothing inherently wrong with that being someone's cup of tea but it just makes me personally uncomfortable bc of how i and the lovers i've had have experienced transness! & i know that's maybe not 1:1 what you were asking with your phrasing but it's something i see pretty commonly so i figured it was worth mentioning.

i also don't necessarily picture them as cis men who magically got pregnant either? that's way closer, but it's less interesting to me on a personal gender and potential worldbuilding level. a lot of the time fics that do this are also going for mpreg being more medically traumatic/dangerous rather than a normal occurence and i'm overall pretty ehhhh on the execution of that. it can end up pretty intersexist & transphobic at times.

oooh no men ever get pregnant but the protagonist of this fic is an exception and it could kill him and there's relationship problems now about this being a surprise AND whether to keep the baby. have we mentioned yet that no men ever get pregnant and that there's something seriously weird about someone having atypical sex characteristics²?

you get the picture.

overall my posting is essentially playing in an unspecified/vague (and impossible) realm where both dan and phil are their usual selves—so overall still have the primary and secondary sex characteristics cis men do—but they ALSO have uteruses etc & maybe an associated extra hole. and the base assumption is that that mix of traits isn't atypical for the universe i'm playing in when i explore concepts?

overall the way think about phan mpreg is much closer to omegaverse biology than our own, but without the more wolfy aspects of omegaverse? it's not realistic or possible biologically. clearly defining that aspect would make it fall apart. and that's fine!

figuring out the nitty gritty of how birth & biology works isn't the fun part for me? the fun part is "how would dan and phil react to an unplanned pregnancy in a world where they are the same besides that being possible for them". i do usually imagine it being possible for both of them to become pregnant and cause a pregnancy? but the details on how it's possible are adaptable moment to moment depending on what suits my fancy.

for full transparency, this is all just in regards to phan mpreg. i think that people could teach college courses on destiel mpreg. there's SO many different interesting ways i've seen that go that are completely incompatable with the way i enjoy being silly about dan and phil. and that's just one example?

my ideal mpreg universes when crafting aus for fave existing characters are very much so in line with "trans man but no need for top surgery and he gets to have a built in functioning dick & balls, no surgery required there either"³. but that inherently takes things more seriously than i take phan mpreg posting.

or i just go with a character being a trans man? one of my OCs is a trans man as well, and in happier AUs⁴ of my original story he gets to have a family with his lover.

i hope this helped but i really have no idea whether it did or not! either way thanks for the excuse to ramble.

¹i have read exactly one omegaverse mpreg that falls in this category that has an execution i actually enjoy, and i think it's because it's self aware and intentional about what it's doing.

²it is somehow worse when people do actually say "this is because the person who got pregnant is intersex". i've never once seen that actually done well.

³this is transgender wish fulfullment.

⁴unfortunately for him his lover is very much so doomed by the canon narrative. reason why i'm on about AUs of my original writing. i post about my original story @unloneliest and @ostrela-wip

#jam replies #anon #mpreg #phan #luckily for my oc jay him becoming a single father directly after his beloved dies badly of swords IN HIS ARMS is simply not in line w the #themes and overall messaging of my story because otherwise things would be so much harder for him.

[lovelyrotter]

more fuckin...... dirkthoughts. trans thoughts

all dirks and dirk-adjacents in my mind and my aus are trans in some way. all of them. transmasc usually but again the flavour will vary

beta dirk is a binary trans man whos been on t for definitely more than a decade. pretty much as soon as he was able to he got on t. hes had top surgery and is pretty proud of his scars (insanely happy with the result in general really) but at the same time he doesnt like ppl seeing them cause they invite questions. he hasnt had any phallo or meta done but his bottom growth is like. insane. he prefers having the option to put on and take off any dick he pleases. also how many dudes can boast about having a rainbow dragon dick cmon. he passes real fuckin well and lets people assume hes cis (hes not Stealthtm he just doesnt like most people assuming which bits hes got cause hes an insanely private person and his body being looked at/messed with in ways he hasnt fully consented to, and/or is in control of, ties into his lil cal trauma). his strap is really nice black leather with brassy metal hardware. he leaves it flopped over the futon sometimes and dave assumes its just leather pride wear for like the longest time. whoops

alpha dirk has not gone on t. he has not had any surgery nor does he wear a binder. like his stance on sexuality labels, gender labels feel... not Outdated to him but moreso not as needed cause when he was growing up humanity was at a count of 2. he was closeted right up until his friends actually saw him through sburb and then in the medium. the only other person who knew about his thoughts + feelings about gender was roxy until that point (who was also going through his own background gender crisis. rox went through comp-cis for sure). but dirk very intentionally never mentioned anything gender related in regards to himself other than introducing himself as A Boy. jakes comment about if dirk were a girl hed date him gave him a huge wobble. he nearly considered comp-cis-ing himself bc it felt like Dating Jake was right there. but he didnt dirk is super used to and comfortable with not wearing a shirt cause again he spent the first 16yrs of his life absolutely physically alone, so he also doesnt really have a problem going topless in front of his friends. his body isnt gendered nor will it ever be gendered. hes a boy whos also not a boy but definitely not a girl. he is a secret worse third thing. jake got really silly the first time dirk just threw his top off in front of him though hahaha. if dirk ever did choose a label that best describes him itd probably be boyflux/enbyflux

if you asked hal whether he considers himself trans he would say "Technically, by someone else's definitions, possibly." but he mostly doesnt care to think about it. hes always been a guy. the act of porting himself from fiberoptics and binary to shades to a fully functional android chassis does count as a physical transition to him but not so much in the traditional organic-human way

#my t #dirk strider

[orange-juice-speaks]

smth that's been talked to death but i will never get over is how, among trans men and transmasculine people in particular, chest dysphoria is drilled in to the point that if you don't need to bind very unhealthily 24/7 to be happy with how flat you look, it's almost like you're not Really trans, but in the same breath people will say bottom growth is disgusting and in return, bottom dysphoria is under-discussed, and alleviating it becomes shameful.

It might not even be being taken super seriously among people who say it, but that doesn't change lived experiences of people who do feel more secure packing or getting bottom surgery.

This mindset permeates itself in the most subtle of ways. You'll never see a "wash your packing strap!" reminder online but you'll see a thousand "wash your binder" reminders.

Whatever, that's so small, but I can tell you this mindset will permeate to cis ppl as well. Because now even the most well-meaning allies may be adverse to the idea of packing too, if they even know about it.

There are friends and loved ones of mine who are cis, and never in a million years would I want to tell them "yea i pin a silicone dick in my underwear to feel more like a man",and that may be because they're mostly cis, and mostly women, (Nothing made me feel gross quite like standing in a bathroom with a bunch of cisgender women and thinking "Fuck, I wish I had a dick.") but tbh I don't really want to tell anyone that, even if they are trans...I'd honestly fear that rejection too bc of the way bottom growth is discussed, let alone surgery

I don't know where I wanted to go with this. I've just been wanting to rant for a while and I only feel like I can here. Sorry I keep complaining about TikTok Transmascs™️every time I get on this app. There's just things you don't wanna say on there because the groupthink goes crazy sometimes.

#trans ftm #trans man #ftm packing #bottom dysphoria #gender dysphoria #transgender #yet another vent-y thing

[cvntboyneedsfixed]

this is actually a rant bc tumblr is now reccomending me stuff from the landfill of the internet & i read it bc im a dumb bitch but like

terf rhetoric is literally so funny esp when they collab w/ cis gay edgelords on the internet making shit up about the scary trans mascs (including binary trans men) trying to rape gay men by deviously tricking them into having sex with a ✨ straight woman ✨

but reality (when you like, actually interact with people in real life & are part of yk, irl communities) looks more like:

straight trans mascs existing

t4t trans mascs fucking other trans mascs being the vast majority (counting myself among their number)

not to mention the absolute adoration every trans masc i know irl has for trans women & trans femmes

trans mascs being extremely cautious with cis gay men for obvious reasons

trans mascs on grindr very clearly declaring this on their account & still getting bombarded by chasers, bi men, & yes gay men too lol

tons of bi and pansexual trans people?? these ppl wanna call me a straight woman but then explain how i'm buried in both cock and pussy of all genders?? explain!!

my cis gay friends reading the nasty smut i write to help me nail all the dick on dick details i need (fun fact if you gotta improvise lube shampoo will make all your dick skin peel off <3 my bud apparently learned this the hard way lmao)

meeting my singular gay coworker for the first time and hitting up one of the local gay kink bars & comparing grindr profiles lol he is lovely

listen phallo is amazing and sexy but like not very common for obvious reasons (major surgery and healthcare is a fucking farce and etc etc)... how exactly are these mythical cis gays getting raped by deception?? did they come in eyes squeezed shut and fuck some trans mascs ass then afterwards get jumpscared by pussy?? or did they have to talk to someone they weren't attracted to for a minute or something lol...

Yes, all the men messaging me on grindr are definitely straight or pretending to be bi that's why they keep sending me videos of them sucking cock lol that tracks (like yeah I get chasers but I'm not fucking stupid it's easy to tell them apart)

"trans men are delusional thinking gay men will be attracted to them" actually we've all seen countless examples of the disgusting ways cis gay men treat women's bodies so we are very aware that that reaction is both probably & that the possibility of cis male violence is present like bruh

Also personal pet peeve is when they go on defending how gay men act disgusted by pussy & other afab body parts like yeah. You don't have to be attracted to it oooobviously, but having VISCERAL DISGUST AND HATRED towards the bodies of half the planet's population is actually not part of your sexual orientation it's still mysogyny <3

& it's ridiculous to lean into that ANYWAY because the huge majority of cis gay men i've met have been wonderful & many have been my closest friends in different periods of my life like pleaaaaase stop making them look bad it's slander at this point

anyway trans men i love you trans women i love you & we all deserve to find supportive community & love bc most people out there aren't fringe edgelords who can only generate dopamine by being cruel on the internet

[sir-klauz]

I don’t think ppl who are cis should be just calling trans guys genitals t dicks outta nowhere without asking, a lot of trans guys prefer just dick or something, some still prefer pvssy etc. some very much like calling them that but that’s up to them and they will say if they want you to call it that too.

People don’t seem to call trans women’s genitalia estrogen pvssy or something for dirty talk, at least this rarely seems to happen if they do, and likewise there’s still the issues of cis people just calling genitalia things that make trans people uncomfortable on purpose as it is anyway, but we generally know that happens anyway.

I know some people think they’re being progressive and respectful or something to just go ahead and call them that, but really I think people should just wait to see if the individual person says what they would prefer, and I don’t mean just outright ask random people either bc that’s kinda ick, as you don’t ask other cis people “so what do you call your genitalia I need to know” as it’s inappropriate, unless it’s stuff like joke names like “Daniel the D” or something but that is a nickname and usually done amongst mates and isn’t meaning the same thing. It’s also usually a topic everyone is happy to talk about at the time.

If the person is a partner, it would make sense to try ask to be respectful when it comes to entering the bedroom, but don’t push it either, and maybe they would rather it not being called anything as sometimes it causes too much dysphoria to think about it too much. Just try not to amplify dysphoria. Same way as nobody should call trans mens/non binary people’s chests anything other than chest or something similar, if you’re not sure.

If you want to be with someone who wears a binder, don’t try get them to remove it in the bedroom if they do not want to. Don’t get with someone who wears a binder and gets chest dysphoria only to leave them if they don’t like their chest being touched or seen at the moment or perhaps until after getting top surgery.

Don’t get with trans people expecting them to be a certain role, aka submit if they’re a trans man, dominate anyway if they’re a trans woman (for a brief example, but I think people understand what I’m talking about). Don’t get with trans people as a loophole for not coming out yet, you never have to come out unless you’re ready, but don’t involve anyone who is out or wants to be without discussing things first, and don’t bring it into the bedroom example: they are not ready to say they’re queer in public, but then they start telling the person they’re seeing who is the same gender that they’re not queer as well whilst continuing to hook up, as there’s no excuse to that even if you are going through with internalised shame or something.

Likewise don’t go ahead and call an intersex persons genitalia whatever you think “suits best”, or whatever suits yourself best. You will surely be told if someone’s believes you should know for their own sake.

#trans #transgender #trans tips #transgender things #transgender tag #transgender people #transgender advice #cisgender #ignorance #trans man #trans woman #intersex #intersex awareness #trans awareness #transphobia mention #gender #chest binding #trans people #trans ftm #trans mtf #queer

[heartofaspen]

I feel like it’s more of a societal discomfort with things related to vaginas, if that makes sense? Like everyone’s been desensitized to dick jokes but not pussy jokes bc there aren’t a lot of vagina jokes in areas that aren’t tumblr

yeah agreed i think that and general societal discomfort with some realities of being trans yknow? like i think a lot of people don't think about/don't like to think about the fact that afab trans men get their periods and have boobs. like ofc hrt and top surgery can change that but even then for some ppl testosterone doesn't suppress menstrual cycles entirely

#asks #discussion

[venomroses]

also don't want to start discorse so fine to not answer but- it does also bug me that there is far more top surgery trans art than bottom surgery or other kinds of transition options. same way there's a bunch of stuff about binding but i had to hear about the existence of packers by word of mouth from a transdude friend. (almost like there's a bias away from dicks or genitals in general because people still find those 'gross')

anyways love your hcs as always <3

no literally and theres definitely bias away from phalloplasty (which would be something easy to show in visual art the way top surgery is easy to show bc rff phallo takes a skin graft from your forearm which leaves an obvious scar in a place thats not nsfw or at all hard to show but ofc never is), and i also dislike that when top surgery is shown like 99% of the time its two perfectly even flat pink lines that sit just under the pecs when irl scars can be uneven or raised or different colors or in different places or literally anything

and its just interesting in danger days specifically bc most people hc the zones are a really accepting place for trans people but the only types of trans ppl i ever really see are those who are on T and have had top surgery (or want it but havent gotten it yet) with the perfect even scars, transfems who may or may not be on E, and non-binary people who are perfectly androgynous so as not to reveal their agab. and like ofc its fine to have characters like that but it would be nice to see something else

like. i have way too many opinions on this that are definitely gonna get discourse-y and i dont need to write a whole essay but basically it would just me nice to see disabled characters whos disabilities arent just waved away by giving them the right kind of aid and trans characters with a variety of experiences in regards to medical transition, especially in a world where those things are way harder to access than irl

and thank you i love yours as well <3

#asks #footnotesnake

[concretepuppy]

Hey, I wanted to ask if you'd recommend phallo to someone without dysphoria who's like 90% cis? I just kind of want a dick from time to time, but it doesn't affect my sex life or distress me that I don't. I'd also like a cis-looking and feeling dick (idk why but I would probably get dysphoria from a dick that was obviously made with phallo) so idk. Transphobes fearmonger a lot so it kind of scares me to make the jump. And idk if major surgery is worth it to satisfy something I'd live my life perfectly fine without doing...

i’m a huge proponent of cis people getting bottom surgery if it makes them happy. i talk quite a lot about how i think a lot of cis stone butches in particular would probably be a lot happier of they had a sensate penis to use for sex, bc i have had quite a few stones complain to me about how they wish they could feel it when they use a strap. it’s ok to get bottom surgery just for sex.

why exactly do you want a dick? what do you want out of it? do you want it for sex? do you think you would have better self image if you had one? do you want to be able to pee from it? do you want balls? do you want to keep your current genitals? there are a lot of considerations to make. i’d start by making a list of all the things that make you want a dick, and then all the potential cons.

i would encourage you to examine why you think you would feel dysphoric about having a phallo dick—what about them is so different from a natal penis? what are the aspects of a natal penis that you feel you’d miss with a phallo penis? have you seen a long-healed phallo dick w medical tattooing? have you ever interacted w a phallo dick irl? i’d also ask you to check your beliefs about what phallo dicks look like. these both have a lot of layers of transphobia and body shaming to unpack.

phalloplasty is a major surgery. it’s permanent in that you’d have to find a surgeon willing to do penectomy on a phallo patient to get it removed, which would likely be very difficult. but it’s not the huge, scary thing people make it out to be. most people just have 6-8wks of recovery (and maybe even shorter for later stages depending on what you’re getting done) and that’s it. the hardest part for me was stage 1 movement restriction, but that was 5 years ago and it’s over with now. if you think you’d be happier getting phallo, then by all means pursue it. it’s not like it’s a fast process, so even if you started contacting surgeons today you’d still have at least 12-18mo to think about it.

also keep in mind that navigating the process will be much more difficult unless you lie and say you’re a trans guy (or in the states at least most of the big name phallo surgeons are familiar enough w nonbinary people that they dont bat an eye abt it, so you could use that). i cant imagine most reputable phallo surgeons here would agree to do surgery for a person who openly IDed as cis (tho i could be wrong, i dont have direct experience w any team other than OHSU so it’s just me guessing based on other ppls anecdotes) and i have even less confidence that insurance would cover it. but it’s fine to lie and say you’re a trans dude if that’s what it takes to get the surgery or hormones or whatever you need. i didnt tell my surgical team i was bigender until stage 3, and i specifically told them to just list me as a trans man in claims. the OHSU team is really great about stuff like that, but other teams might not be.

#concrete talks #answered