#pouring my heart out here

[flipside-phoebe]

So about that thing I mentioned earlier...

As per my previous spoiler-free review of Frozen Empire, I mentioned that the film includes something I never expected, and I have complex feelings about it. Well, here it is. Spoilers below, don't read if you haven't watched (I'm serious).

Alright well first of all, PHOEBE SPENGLER IS GAY!!! PHOEBE IS A FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL!!! A LESBIAB!!! WOMEN!!! THERE WAS NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION FOR THAT. HOW SHE TALKED WITH MELODY THE GHOST. THAT WAS FLIRTING. EVERYONE SHUT UP. PHEOBE OUT-GAYED YOU ALL. SHE HAS TAKEN HER CROWN AS THE QUEEREST GHOSTBUSTER AND THE SIMPSONS PREDICTED IT.

Ok. Ok. I'm fine. I'm calm now. I'm not. I'm fine I swear.

Joking aside, let me talk about this seriously. Phoebe's relationship with Melody was fascinating and a huge surprise to me. I suspected this movie might delve into the ethics of ghost hunting, and there would be a betrayal involved in the story (based on some very grasping-at-straws observations I made that I won't go into here) I was shocked to be right on both accounts, but not in the way I expected.

I loved the direction they took these two characters, and I loved seeing their interactions that read as awkward flirtations. It was beautiful and bittersweet up until the very end. I'm so happy they were able to make up and help each other. Melody was able to move on and Phoebe discovered a part of herself, along with a newfound appreciation for her family.

That being said, this plot element left me an emotional wreck. Once I got over the high of seeing obvious queer coding in a Ghostbusters movie, I crashed hard. The scene were Phoebe separated her own soul just to be close to Melody was upsetting to me. It's almost as self-destructive as suicide. It's in-character considering what Phoebe was going though at the time but still. That along with what happens after was really scary to witness. Also... Up until now I had been clinging to a personal headcanon that Phoebe was aroace like myself. I can't hold on to that idea anymore. Sitting in the theater dressed up as this character that I related to on a personal level for so long, suddenly watching her experience emotions that I never have or ever will... It broke me. I actually couldn't sleep last night because this + personal stuff made my anxiety come back. I had to call in sick today because I can't eat.

I feel horrible about this. It's selfish to want a character to be exactly like me when she was made by someone else. I don't want to be homophobic and I want to support other LGBTQ+ people in our community that can feel represented by this. I am truly happy for them! Even if this wasn't the perfect romance (it's between a living child and a ghost who can't grow up with her) it's still something special! Hopefully later down the line she can have a girlfriend with a pulse, though.

I do worry about what the fan reaction to this will be. Will people hate Phoebe for the mistake she made in trusting Melody? Is this going to be another "Mabel caused Weirdmageddon"? I'm not strong enough to handle that again. On the other hand, now that She's been strongly hinted at being gay and she's a bit older, is her tag going to become nothing but ships? Will everyone abandon all other headcanons/ideas in favor of "Melody stays" AUs (robbing her story of it's impact) or shipping her with OCs? The main tag is already full of romantic shipping and my sad little aro heart can't take it. I may just have to accept that fandom isn't for me and stay away.

I acknowledge that my feelings on this are deeply personal and do not detract from the film at all. I will be OK, I just need time to process this. I have to be mature about it. I still love Phoebe with all my heart. She's my favorite and nothing will change that, even though we are different for many reasons.

#Mera's rants #spoilers #gbfe #ghostbusters frozen empire #phoebe spengler #ghostbusters frozen empire spoilers #pouring my heart out here #please don't clown on me #not reblogable but you can talk to me about this if you want #just be civil

[surfinthehighway]

what happened to those dating sites for emos

#I’ve never been emo btw I’m not even scene anymore I’m a secret third thing now #(into vintage and sustainable fashion when I can) #that being said I feel 9000x more comfortable with people who dress alt #we prob have common ground (we r prob both queer) #I want people with the energy of neurodivergent and queer spaces online but irl in the Midwest okay #pouring my heart out here #personal

[drowinginmyownabyss]

does anyone actually know how to make friends on here? like friends that talk all the time? cause i am very unsure but i really really want to!

#i pour my heart out on here but like also cant talk to people #i just feel weird talking first #and i have no idea whats like a normal pace of how often to talk and what to say #i just want to talk about music and shows and stuff #i know its sounds weird since my stuff is all mental health stuff but like i dont want to have a friend where we just talk about that #idk just want to talk to someone

[willowser]

one of those crazy girls by paramore except it's gojo

#now when you say you wanna slow down #does that mean you wanna slow dance? #maybe you just want a little extra time to focus on our romance #what do you mean i've got it backwards? you know we're gonna be forever #why are you telling me goodbye? arent you gonna stay the night? #are we really over now? maybe i can change your mind #as soon as you walk out my door i'm gonna call 100 times #i pour my heart out to your voicemal let you know i caught a bus to your side of town #now i'm standing at your doorstep #if you dont answer i'll just use the key i copied 'cause i really need to see you #if you're not here when i break in i'm gonna go through your closet just so i can smell your skin #i know i'll never love again i swear i'll never love again #IT'S SO HIM PLS #✿ thoughts: gojo

[spoondoodles]

Confrontation - a sanders sides animatic

Logan confronts the side of him no one should have ever seen… but that side is not willing to go quietly. I am you, you are Hyde.

I drew the first draft of this animatic in the span of a week and then delayed for like two months posting it b/c i got scared but it's finally here! Story is up for interpretation but just know i am a 'orange side is logan' believer and also that the og Jekyll and Hyde did strongly inspire me haha Special thanks to @hildcit for their encouragement <3 and thanks to my irl friends for their support even tho they don't know anything about it lmao

#spoondoodles #sanders sides #tss #ts sides #sanders sides fanart #sanders sides animatic #logan sanders #confrontation animatic #ts orange side #it's done it's out it's here #my project i poured so much of my heart into and my longest animatic to date #4 fuckin minutes oh lordie i ruined my poor wrist for this it'll never be the same #hope people see it and enjoy i love animatics and animation and i tried my very best with this one #logan means so much to me and i hope he gets the chance to go completely apeshit in the future <333 #i want that man unhinged #Youtube

[goldkirk]

as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and (tw for murder/crime/killings) the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd

#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd #also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th #breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to #so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart #and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves #i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this #i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things #so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday #i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers #but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care? #people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better #if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war #anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter] #personal #add to journal #words n rhythm #WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS #cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao #i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes. #anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i #and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would #objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else. #this is a gift i give myself now. #this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do #trauma evolution #mosswrites

[spoofyleaf]

sometimes I remember the fact that at the ripe age of 9, I felt ashamed for watching and loving Lego Ninjago, bc I felt like I was "too old" for the show, and it was targeted for a "younger audience". (this went for most of my in general) and how Older Me would look back and cringe at the fact I enjoyed these "children shows/ things".

And now, as an Adult, I see how absolutely ridiculous that sentiment was. And to this day I still enjoy "children shows/ things" (LMK, TOH, mythology, dinosaurs, etc.,).

Like no- now all i want to do is look back and whisper "you will still enjoy these things in the future, and you will even create so much art of the things you find interesting. You will go to college for some of these things. Enjoying harmless things isn't childish."

#i wish i could go back and tell younger me that i was literally the target audience for the shows i was ashamed for watching #and literal /adults/ made the media. they spent so much time and energy and thought into these things #adults still look at the stars and wonder what life could look like on other planets #they still wonder what dinos looked and acted like #/i/ still wonder these things #its almost like its human nature to pour your heart and soul into the things that you deeply enjoy #its almost like we're on a floating rock and food grows out of the ground #and the thing that living organisms need most of all to survive falls out of the sky after being gently scooped from the ocean and flora #none of this makes sense and one day out time here will end. so endulge in the things that you enjoy #because yea in the long run none of this will matter- but that's the beauty of it. isn't it? #in this essay i will- #hey guys. im Spoofy and tonight? I'm feeling emotions. specifially the weight of my own existence #spoofy rambles

[cawareyoudoin]

You know what, fuck it. I am done with being critical about Murder Drones, because I am clearly getting something out of it, my brain is going "ooh shiny", and being negative about it is just making me frustrated and sad.

I will from now on be enjoying it uncritically. I've poured enough words over it, I'm done. Only good or neutral things.

I like this show. There, I said it.

#murder drones #i don't choose my hyperfixations #and it's not a perfect show but hey it's good! it's doing something interesting! i do like it! #cawpost #caw caws #i made like one post here but i have been pouring my heart out in youtube comments #and if you see me there i am so sorry. just ignore me

[rusmii]

how I act after saying I might leave but I'm too chronically online to and has a weird attachment to this stupid app and everyone else

"heeeyy... how yall doinnnn...."

#whats wrong with me #can someone genuinely help me out here #i think im going through something and idk what #idk why im having major mood swings and impulsively doing things without thought #i just poured my heart out to briar i need more venting to do

[gemjellyart]

✨Couple?! ;)✨

A little doodle of matching matz because that's what we were served yesterday (KST) lol

#please hwa loves to be a couple (matching) with hongjoong and it's so endearing 😔❤ #i love my matz so much :( #you can pour your heart out here ro cuz this is tumblr lol #ateez #ateez fanart #kpop fanart #my art #artists on tumblr #gemjelly #gemjellyart #seonghwa #park seonghwa #hongjoong #kim hongjoong #matz #seongjoong #seonghwa fanart #hongjoong fanart #matz fanart #seongjoong fanart

[unionize-aromantically]

I have been more and more on mastodon lately and it's such a contrast to here in many ways. One is just woah I gained 3 tumblr followers today? meanwhile on mastodon I have 16 total. And on there people reply more, but I also regularly run out of new posts to see cause I only follow like 40 people. I'm probably gonna start using this app more again. I know I haven't like left completely but I have went from spending like 8 hours here daily to 1 hour.

Can I just ask one thing though that like people are like social? Idk maybe that's asking too much but please do like ask me if you want help or advice or anything. Or DM me your new artwork that you wish would get some notes. Or recommend me a song you think I'd like (in DMs ideally cause I always psych myself out of or forget answering recommendation asks). Or ask for song recommendations (I always deliver here, asks & DMs work both, or any other method). I just yeah I like being social on my phone.

But yeah both at old and new followers, but yeah. Also we don't have to be mutuals for you to talk to me. I have had the longest conversations on this app with people who I didn't follow at the time (one of them I still don't follow).

uhmm yeah. Hi, bye. Have a nice day. Imagine a library or something :)

Actually wait people who followed ages ago or just haven't ever read my pinned also here's a reminder that I have tons of info & sideblogs & stuff in my pinned. It's not a novel or anything but I do recommend you check it out. ok thx bye.

#ink.post #watch me here pouring my heart out #i figure if you don't show vulnerability you also don't win yk?

[milo-the-professional-yapper]

Aziraphales decision makes me so fucking mad, BUT I know why he did it and I know why his character has to go through this arc. But that didn’t stop me from SCREAMING AT THE FUCKING TV WHAT THE FUCK

#good omens #good omens s2 #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens spoilers #I’m just #Aziraphale I love you- why the fuck #My man Crowley over here having the worst time ever I salute you king #bro poured his heart out and basically got like half rejected #that’s fucked up

[whoa-where-did-the-pancakes-go]

Therapy is expensive. But you know what's free? Going into the woods and lighting a treehouse on fire!

[sleepvines]

//Vingettes to the tune of a place called Home//

Some phone drawings depicting feelings from northwestern British Columbia

#my art #2024 #pouring my heart out here but whatever #lap it up if you want

[planefood]

i dont have anything specific to say but!!!!! your robots are sooo soo cool and i love hearing more about them, and id love to know more about the world around them!!!! whats the deal with their setting?

Oh wonderful I was just thinking about this and was considering of making my own separate text post but didn't quite know where to put my thoughts. I'm glad you like my characters :) This is another lengthy answer bare with me I hope you don't mind. SO I don't know if I've actually outright stated this in a more obvious way but all my characters (currently) live in in modern day Auckland, the largest city in my country. It just made sense from a population point of view since about half of our entire population is in that city that that's where most of the robots would be.

and a handy map of the North Island, Te Ika-a-Māui for you before we continue

Tandy lived in the South Waikato for a while before moving to Auckland. Lithium comes from Hamilton, Jay and Phillip both come from Wellington. Cathy comes from around the rural Taupo area. The rest of the (nz) robots are local Aucklanders. I won't go too in depth about city differences and stuff because I only think like... 5 of my followers are from here as well. I know people are definitely more interested in the more 'sci fi' elements of robots living alongside humans, which I'll get to in time, but Aotearoa being the setting for the story is actually pretty important, at the very least in a sentimental level for me and will greatly influence a lot of the writing as we go forward. I want to focus more on that element for this ask sorry if that's not what you were looking for. A little more about me, a huge reason why I put such strong emphasis on my characters living here when I notice other local artists my age don't really tend to do that, is I spent my formative years living in Tokyo, Japan before moving to Aotearoa in like 2008. You can imagine moving from somewhere with 13 odd million people living in it to a city with like a 40,000 population speaking a language I wasn't familiar with was a massive change for anyone let alone a young disabled kid. Originally I was pretty resentful of living here, people at school generally treated me poorly just for being autistic alone only adding with all the cultural and language differences that came from being overseas. If I had simply stayed in Japan in my mind everything would've turned out fine. Now as an adult I do still think about what I would've turned out like if I did stay in Japan, but I still wouldn't trade growing up here for anything. As I get older a lot of cultural influence from Japan slips out of my grasp, I stopped speaking Japanese having nobody else my age who spoke it to talk to and when more things started getting imported overseas to here when I thought I could maybe get that part of myself back it even just a little, it was picked and altered for a more western palette and that's for a country as influential as Japan. I don't want that happening again for the country I live in now. As the internet becomes more commonplace and more NZ artists take the stage they're really starting to appeal to an American audience. It makes sense, it's the majority of your audience. I'm essentially screaming into a void with us making up less than 1% of the world population. I want my art and stories to appeal to a wider audience as well but I don't want to tone down any aspects I feel are important. I'm starting to get sick of writing all my ocs in the states when it's so alien to me just cause it's seen as a blank slate. My story is about robots, yes but it's also about the experience of what it's like to grow up and live here. I want people to really view and experience it like I do whether they've lived here or not, which is super difficult. I have a perspective a lot of people don't and I really want to use that to my advantage. I want to talk about more in depth and more niche aspects of it on here, but I also want to avoid boring anyone or alienating people?

#ask #I am pouring my heart out on this btw #sorry for derailing but it's what I do here

[ratgingi]

im so many things and constantly changing but the one thing i will always be is a big brother i think

#my favorite part of being alive is getting to protect and care for and love my little siblings #my sisters irl and my starbrother on here #and honestly anyone else who needs it #i love caring and i love letting people younger than me know they will be okay one day and i will be there to help them see said day #im thinking a lot about my sisters tonight and its making me feel like pouring out me heart ok #dialogue