#pls i need to know what he wrote his thesis on

[imadetheline]

absolutely fucking nothing could have prepared me for the sideways jaunt we take from the magical world of Howl's Moving Castle to real-life Wales in the middle of the book, not even the knowledge that Howl is Welsh I had absorbed from the internet. And don't even get me started on him quoting Shakespeare

#and he has a PhD??? #just casually dropped that one into conversation #pls i need to know what he wrote his thesis on #so real of him to get a PhD discover a fairy tale dimension tell no one and fuck off there except for his rugby team reunions #tfw you're a powerful sorcerer and you're still unemployed #the shakespeare quote threw me so far off i started cackling and had to get up #it has truly been years since ive read such a delightful book #watch me try to bully my family members into reading it next #also i shall be showing them the movie over thanksgiving break bc I can't believe its taken me this long to see it #it's so magical #maddie rambles #howls moving castle

[we-return-in-waves]

10, 15, 20, 29 for ao3 wrapped o.o

sdfhfdkgh i wish i knew who you were my beloved anon <3

answers below the cut xoxo

10. What work was the quickest to write?

spoken words by a landslide. i've talked about this before, but that fic, start to finish, maybe took me 5 - 6 hours at most. i had exactly one scene marinating in my head with no contect for a month ("Lee comes to Sunagakure, and Gaara comes to him in the dead of night." and associated like... four lines) and i was like hey uh brain what do with this? then one sunday i brained the summary text, took a nap, woke back up, and wrote the entire fic in one go. what you see on the archive is essentially it, i sat on it for two days looking for edits and just didn't feel like it needed any. one and done babey!

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

god there's SO MANY HELP. but with exclusively wips i've actually done work for, here's the list: from these bones, untethered, my insidious au, sing a song of sleeptide, a fluffy 5+1 things about sleeping together, The Grapes of Debauchery, another explicit comedy fic about drunken shenanigans, if it's the last night of your life, a one-night-stand-has-results fic, and my untitled enemies to lovers longfic based on the video game ghost of tsushima.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

skfhdkgh We Don't Talk About Fight Club for sheer volume of editing, i think. there was a point where it's the only wip i looked at, every single day, for months. i probably put more work into that fic than i did my master's thesis. i've probably read it over a hundred times and that's not an exaggeration, i can probably recite parts of it. i still reread it occasionally, i'm very proud it (plus like. art. pls, how can u not just keep looking???)

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

how dare u ask me to Pick One. i cannot do this, instead u are getting several of my faves. rekt

from spoken words:

Lee is brave. But Lee is not fearless.

no ok so like there's a LOT of lines in spoken words that i think smash it out of the ballpark and deserve line-of-the-year status, but this one is special because it beautifully encapsulates lee's entire character in under 10 words. the brevity! i will never be so concise ever again

from sailing stones

“You – you do not find me unattractive, like this?” Lee whispered. I have never once thought you anything but beautiful, Gaara thought to himself. For a moment, they remained, suspended in time, the world blurring to nothing around them. Gaara brushed his lips over Lee’s, once. Twice. Chakra crackled, electric in the space between them. “Gaara…?” And Lee, the paragon of formality, breathed his name with no honorific, so low Gaara wondered if he’d imagined it on an exhale, and the moment was so intimate it bordered on painful, tipping them both over a precipice across which there would never be any return.

ok so this was one of those bits where i wrote that last line, looked at it, announced out loud, "fuck yeah, i wrote that," then proceeded to treat myself to oreos. i fully stand by this today. sailing stones my first child, i love u dearly and will edit u soon, but this piece won't be touched. i feel like it captures the feeling of the whole fic exactly how i wanted it to.

from We Don't Talk About Fight Club (length warning but it's all short lines)

“So… you did fuck,” Naruto said gleefully. “Who topped?” “Naruto!” Sakura stage-whispered, appalled. “What? I always thought Bushy Brow kinda had like, bottom energy, ya know?” Sai’s face went suddenly curious, and he pulled out a notebook from seemingly nowhere in an action that reminded Kankurō creepily of Lee. He asked, weirdly polite, “Is this ‘bottom energy’ a mutually recognisable feeling between those with a proclivity towards that position? Because Sasuke is always the penetrating partner when you two fuck, Naruto.” Hot damn. The table went eerily silent again. Naruto inhaled his water and came up sputtering. “That… how the fuck do you—no. No. We’re talking about Gaara and Bushy Brow right now! Anyway, Gaara?” “That…” Gaara said sedately, returning to his lunch, his sand silent, all his composure returned, “is not your business.” Kankurō filed away that tidbit of information to snicker at later, returning to focus on his brother. Gaara wasn’t tall enough to bone someone on a kitchen table comfortably, and now that he thought about it, that crater on Lee’s kitchen table looked a lot like a handprint… “Please at least tell me you were responsible and used protection,” Temari asked, one hand rubbing her temple like she was in pain. … Gaara had been walking slow all day, had barely moved in his seat, and he’d definitely winced at least once this morning… The answering silence told everyone far, far too much. …oh man… “Gaara!” Temari scolded. …his little brother… “I mean, does it matter? Sai confirmed they both have dicks, they probably can’t knock each other up,” Naruto said, still laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes now. …Gaara of the Desert… “You can still. Get. Herpes!” Sakura shrieked. …the Kazekage of Sunagakure… Naruto looked at her, skeptical. “If Bushy Brow has herpes, I’ll eat Gaara’s Kage hat. You think he’s actually piped anyone before?” …had let a foreign ninja… Temari choked on her tea. …had let fucking Rock Lee… “Oh my gods, Naruto, I’m making you sit through Sex Ed again, did you learn nothing!?” …green jumpsuit enthusiast Rock Lee… “Hey, at least the lube we gave him for his last birthday would have come in handy!” Naruto chortled, completely ignoring his teammate. …bowlcut Rock Lee… Sakura sighed. “I’m sorry to ask this,” she said to Gaara, “but as a medic… please tell me whatever lubricant you used was sealed in a white tube with a yellow label? If it was, that’s the one we got him , and it wouldn’t be expired, since that was only a few months ago.” …who wore orange fucking legwarmers... Gaara nodded to her. She nodded back, as pink as her hair. …rail him over a kitchen table. That was so fucking funny he was going to shit—

ok so this passage i think is the absolute most Chaotic Stupid piece in the whole megadong anime crackfic extravaganza and that's exactly the energy i wanted to convey. i loved writing from kankuro's pov because i basically use him to write from My POV so it's just dumbass hours all day, plus naruto is just an absolute meme in this fic and i love it. bonus points to me for including 1(one) brooklyn99 reference. i will never be this funny again i wasted all my life savings of comedy on this one fkcmdngnldgjd fic

and finally, from in the space between:

Pressed between their bodies in Gaara’s coat pocket, a pale jade ring, inlaid with a delicate, winding ribbon of Gaara’s chakra-infused sand, burns like a star.

not only does this line out me as have fiance fever because i was thinking about the ring im shopping around for when i wrote it, but also SOMFT, and i think it's the most stunning ending line i've written for it's simplicity, though in context it answers multiple questions and completely changes what the scene means when you read it again. and i will use it to end my really long answers! hope u enjoyed thank u for enabling me xoxo

ask me things, ao3 wrapped style

#ask game #ao3 wrapped #writing gronp hours #fanfiction #ao3 #answered #gaalee

[ppangjae]

good day, alex. i have some constructive criticism to give you about your latest jaehyun fic.

.

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

🚧 criticism 🚧

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

help im sorry ik im not funny and legit the only criticism i have for u is pls mention jaehyuns butt more its cute and hes got a flat ass but we dont need to talk about it

how are u like…godsent with writing??? its like u were..blessed with the power of words and everything u release needs to be framed next to mona lisa. chef!jae concept is not easy but the way u exceeded my expectations and wrote the story so sentimentally?3!2?3?3?? i nearly cried it was so bad for me.

the masterchef arc was also so dear to me bc it was one of my fav shows and its so iconic. also jaehyun remembering yn and seeing her in a different light from what she was used to?? the realization and explanation was so cute. i love how u seamlessly blend portions of the story be it humorous or emotional together so well that the reader doesnt even realize the change of genre until their snot is falling on their phone as they try to read the next line of jaehyun having heart eyes pt 8383838933

sorry this is a mess lol im just thought dumping rn bc ure too good and i could write a whole thesis on this fic and why its the best ever

also i would like to be an anon of urs *blushes* please call me morknon <3333

my heart started beating really fast before i could read the feedback JKSHKFJSHDF but let's get into it!

his flat butt LMFAO skjdhfkjsdhf 😭 it's okay jaehyun we'll work on it

ahhh idk how to react, thank you :') chef!jae was definitely not easy. i started writing five plus one a couple of months ago and it was easy to write the first half but the remaining half of the fic was so hard 😭 it's hard to write the transition of two enemies turning into each other's love interests, which is why it took so long to finish skdjhf. but also, i literally had to watch (and rewatch, over and over again) A LOT of MasterChef videos because although i do know how to cook and i cook meals for myself, it's so hard to actually describe it in actual... words? idk if that made sense skjdfkjsdhf

I HONESTLY LOVE COOKING SHOWS. i went through a whole kitchen nightmares binge -- but i remember trying to look for a chef!jae fic to read here and there were a few but they were mostly short or drabbles AND I FIGURED if there wasn't a long fic about chef!jae, i might as well write it myself 😭 and so here we are LOL

i love how u seamlessly blend portions of the story be it humorous or emotional together so well that the reader doesnt even realize the change of genre until their snot is falling on their phone as they try to read the next line of jaehyun having heart eyes pt 8383838933

fshdfkjhsdkjfhsdf I LOVE doing that. MWAHAHAHAHAH

YES YOU COULD DEFINITELY BE MY ANON AHHHH NICE TO MEET YOU <3

#ask alex #morknon

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

pls i had to double check the notification to make sure i saw it right because the scream i let out- 😭 you better believe me when i tell you i cried a bit 😤

i love these two so so much and you write them to, dare i say, perfection. i literally cannot imagine them being even slightly different than how you write them....i mean.... you've made them look so natural at every freaking single thing they do or think or act on, it's like they're real people because everything about them is so detailed and in character omg I LOVE THIS (idk if im making sense im so overwhelmed with happiness im giddy 😭)

i missed their dynamic so much and watching jungkook finally getting comfortable enough to trust her on some things is amazing and what's even more amazing is how she is experiencing that shift too.... honestly i feel happy for her when it comes to her feeling comfortable with trying to trust him and even relying on "probably's" as she says because even if that does lower her guard and might not always be the best thing to do in her line of work but i still feel that she's been so hardwired all her life to stay in that hyperaware and cautious state that she's in certain ways just not felt safe enough to truly "breathe" tbh. we know she's always forcing herself to shut down her emotions and surely after that long period of not really "feeling" things, all of these new emotions must make her feel different and uncomfortable in a sense but i truly hope she can find a healthy balance in feeling and honestly accepting those emotions (jungkook better help her with it if she ever needs support tho 😤)

i know i always say this but hector truly is the bestest character everrrrr i love him and he's precious 🥺 i love his dynamic with the oc too and the gentle understanding they have for each other is really like a safe place amidst the entire list of intense interactions among other characters in the story. i could write a thousand words about why i love this story so much and it wouldn't be enough 💗

ohhh and i loved reading the long author's note too! pls feel free to write em as long as you want 😌 i love this story and i feel grateful that you choose to share it with us! that said, you definitely don't need to rush with the story. write at whatever pace you feel comfortable with and i'll be always here to support you (im sure a lot of us will be!)

i haven't been as active here as i used to be during the stay at home days since life has started happening again and im graduating soon too which means im having a very stressful time with the final year project and thesis too just like you mentioned you did but this iicngyp update came as a saviour in these stressful times and for that alone, i will support it till the end. you could say im emotionally attached to this fic 🥺

i said this already but the QUALITY of your writing is unmatched and it just pulls me in with how immersive it is but!! you wrote in the author's note that you feel scared that the chapters or writing won't be as good as earlier or if it'll match but i just wanna tell you that no matter how you write them, i trust that i'll love it. so pls don't feel scared or nervous about us not loving it because im sure we always will!

thank you for writing, ily 🥺 (also sorry for this long ask)

Hiiii, it’s always good to see you in my inbox 😁 and never apologize for long asks, the longer the better truly~

Ah no you make sense and this makes me so happy 😭 I was particularly worried about this chapter and if they’d feel ‘ooc’ (weird thing to say since I’m the one writing them I know) considering the fact that there’s a huge shift happening in their relationship, coming from Jungkook in particular. You’re right though, OC is not quite… there… yet. There are feelings that are starting to bubble to the surface and she essentially keeps shoving them back under. So yeah, it might take a little while until she gets somewhat healthy about it, but she’ll get there!

Hector is such a sweetheart, OC needed someone who’d be on her side and I’m happy with how he turned out and the fact that people like him that much 😁

That’s super sweet of you! I’m not looking to rush the story, but also sadly my productivity just plummeted after Covid and it’s upsetting because there’s a pretty direct link between my mental health and that (if I don’t write I’m less happy, if I’m less happy I don’t write, so it’s quite the vicious circle lol).

Oh gosh I hope your thesis goes well for you!! I know how stressful but I’m sure you’ve got this, don’t forget to take care of yourself during it too 💜

Ah thank you so much again, with this chapter I was actually quite unhappy with the way it turned out until I edited it, and then I was quite happy with it. The first scene (which had been written for months already) was almost entirely rewritten and I think it really helped ‘lift up’ the chapter. I’m very glad you enjoyed it though, makes me feel like my hard work really paid off

Thank you so much for the comment, again, always happy to see you in here and I hope i’ll get to keep reading your thoughts for future chapters as well 😊

#asks #jeonlovescoffee #iicngyp: 8

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

you know what I want?

A Stalwart Gem: The Movie. I’m tired of getting all the lil community theatre actors in my noggin together to act out the story. I, just once, wanna sit back all lazy-like, and watch it happen on the big screen.

But like…do you have any HCs or Drabble about the scene/a scene where Leto tells Jessica about his feelings for Gem?? Bc that’s one scene I think should be in the film and I’m drafting Stalwart Gem fanfic in my noggin and pls help.

I just think it’d be such an interesting scene because I wonder if they’ve discussed something like this before or if this is the first time, and it’s not like Leto can HIDE anything from her bc of his lil micro expressions of, probably; love and concern and horny, are all over his face. But was it dramatic? Was there an argument? Or was it sweet and understanding? I need to know pls- for the movie I’m about to produce.

Also congratulations on your thesis and good luck on applying for jobs. I don’t know how tf you find time to do all these things and still make us yearn and weep, but you’re amazing.

Danny Danny Danny Danny dear Danny dear sweet lovely Danny I'm so sorry this took me so long to answer!! Also thank you :) My thesis draft turned out v well and the job aplications are chugging along (though they scare me)

And can I just say that the fact that you have such interest in a Stalwart Gem and like...The sequel story form!! I still think about it!! Like it's astounding and I thank you and I adore you.

Okay I wrote, like...1k? that takes place ~the end of part one and into part two?? I hope it's sufficient! (Also it is not beta-read so if there are typos....Soz)

It starts as a sneaking suspicion.

Leto can be subtle at the best of times; his looks and actions can, at times, misdirect. They must, if he is to lead Caladan without showing all of the cards that he keeps so close to his vest. 

But with her—with this new-old-arrival, this bright ‘gem’, as he’s called her—there’s something different. His looks linger on her when they’re in conversation; his eye unwittingly seeks her out when she’s nearby, but just out of sight; his lips twitch with a smile at the sound of her voice, the mention of her name.

It’s odd to Jessica—to be on the outside, and not the object of his attention. It’s foreign, and it’s uncomfortable. Jessica feels the pricking of jealousy beneath her fingertips, the lurch of her stomach when he smiles at the girl. But she knows that there’s something there that must set her off, something good. As Thufir Hawat has always told her, it's easier to be terrified by an enemy you admire. 

There is something in this Gem that Leto must admire, and it must be beyond her beauty. Jessica has heard whispers from the ladies maids—whispers of nightly walks, and the possession of a kindjal and a sharp tongue. Leto and Jessica came together as a matter of necessity. Jessica doesn’t know if Leto has ever come together with anyone in a blatant matter of desire. It's new for him, something that he ought to have liberty to explore.

But the jealousy prickles, still. 

When he returns one night from a walk, hair and coat dampened, a nick in his neck, she can’t help bubbling of questions—but she shuts them tightly behind her lips, watching him change and drop his wet clothes onto the hamper. 

“...Where did you go?” She asks, as lightly as she can.

“Just to the river orchards.” 

“Mm…” She nods, taking in his pruned skin, his naked form before she adds, “How was she?” 

Leto hesitates for a moment before he tugs on a pair of loose pants, tying the chords.

“Shaken. Upset.” 

It’s the confirmation she needs—it churns her stomach.

“Is it lasting, you think?” Jessica asks.

“What, specifically?” 

“Your fascination.” 

Leto turns to face her, eyes sweeping her face, her body, before he asks, “Are you worried?”

“Have I anything to be worried about?” 

Leto lowers his head, and she can practically see the wheels turning and ruffling his dark, damp curls.

“Whatever the answer is,” Jessica adds, “Know that it changes nothing for me.”

“I do not believe that,” Leto asserts, meeting her eye again. Jessica purses her lips, considering her next words wisely. 

“... You are the father of our son, you know that I care and want only the best for you. This may cause a shift, perhaps, but not a rift.” 

Leto takes slow, careful steps toward the bed, lowering himself down to sit in front of Jessica. When he takes hold of her hand, it steadies and excites her as much as it did when they first met. Jessica closes both hands around his, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“I do not know if it is…Lasting,” Leto admits softly, eyes flitting to her face. It’s odd to see Leto nervous. She doesn’t rush to fill the silence, and instead gives him the moment or two to gather himself before he goes on:

“What I feel, it is…Different. Different from what I feel for you. You know that you will always have my devotion, my affection—”

“Yes—”

“You gave me our son, you have given me your time, your care…Your love.”

Leto’s eyes hold Jessica’s, but there’s a skittishness there.

“What I feel for her…I cannot describe it in a way that—”

“You will not upset me—”

“I can’t chance that. I won’t.” 

Jessica turns her head from him, her jaw working tightly. She hears Leto sigh, sees him bow his head out of the corner of her eye. 

“Do you trust me?” Jessica asks after a moment of tense quiet.

“You know I do—”

“Then trust me with this. For the sake of our partnership, trust me with this.”

She doesn’t push into his silence now, either. She knows Leto—knows that he’ll snap if she does, knows that he’ll settle if she doesn’t. This flurry of emotion is new for both of them, but they know one another.

“...I don’t know how much time that I have with her,” Leto finally says, “In the way that I know I have time with you. Until then, I…” 

“You want to explore.” 

“I do.” It’s said firmly, with his eyes set heavily on her. Jessica gives a slow nod, lowering her eyes to the bedspread and giving Leto’s hand a squeeze.

“Then that is what I want you to do.” She tips her head up and reaches out, thumbing the nick on his neck. “So long as she doesn’t take your head off.” 

Leto hisses softly, glancing at the pinprick of blood on her forefinger as she draws her hand away.

“She was upset with you?”

“No…No, with herself. But she’s been in the center of a storm for years now. It seems easier to turn her anger outward...She will learn.” 

Jessica hums thoughtfully, looking at the smudge of red on her finger. 

“...Would you be terribly upset if I didn’t befriend her?” She asked lightly.

“Of course not,” Leto soothed, rubbing his hand over her thigh. 

“I won’t make an enemy, mind, but—”

“I will not begrudge you distance,” Leto fills in. Jessica nods a little, lowering her gaze to her lap. Leto ducks his head, resting his forehead against hers and giving her other hand a squeeze.

“You will always have me. You must know that.” 

Jessica can’t help her small smile, and she tips her head, nudging her nose against his. “I do.” 

-- 

The next time she passes her—his gem—she finds herself slowing and holding her gaze. She sweeps her eyes along the woman’s form, meets her eyes again, and gives her a small nod.

“Come, Paul,” Jessica murmurs, carefully steering her son down the hallway. 

This gem may hold Leto’s fascination for some time, but Jessica has his son, his devotion—and he will always come back to that, and to them. Let him hold this interest, this gem, for as long as it lasts.

All that glitters is not gold.

#asks #replies #A Stalwart Gem #Leto Atreides x Jessica #Leto Atreides x Reader

[rolerei]

wip - fashion au

The next day, while attending a lecture, you couldn't help but still think of Starscourge. So you ended up mostly on your phone during the entire hour, moogling up the fashion brand and its founder, Ardyn Izunia.

Even with only an hour of browsing, you managed to get surprisingly a lot of information. Ardyn Izunia was loved by the media, it seemed, with gossip tabloids and respectful magazines alike having written articles about him.

One article published by the magazine Metrosomnia especially caught your interest. It summarized Ardyn's career path starting from working as a help in Vivienne Westwood's shop in Altissia when he was only 16 years old. He never formally studied fashion design, but learned the trade on the job. His big break came when he single-handedly designed all dresses that the singer Florence Welch wore in her solo debut world tour. The demand that resulted from such publicity paved a way for him to set up his own brand, Starscourge.

You didn't know much about how magazines worked, but you knew that a zero-to-hero story like Ardyn's must have been quite popular among the magazine readers. It inspired hope. Though, by the tone of some tabloid articles, you also got the sense that some people loved the fact that his humble beginnings meant that there was a lot of dirt to dig.

One article wrote that Ardyn was an orphan, having grown up in different foster homes all over Accordo. In another, he lived with his single mother, while his father was a powerful businessman from Insomnia, who had paid Ardyn's mother handsomely to hide the truth about the affair. The latter's article then tried to link the parentage theory with Ardyn's lack of Accordon accent - so you knew better to take the whole story with a grain of salt. 

As you were about to move on to another article, the class was dismissed. You packed up your belongings and were about to stand up from your seat when Cindy approached you, wearing a grin so wide that you could see her gleaming white teeth.

"The student admin just got back to me," she announced. "They said I'm allowed to have Mr. Fleuret supervise me, so long as Besithia's name is also on my thesis."

"What?" Your jaw dropped. "Cindy, that's great news!"

"I know!" beamed Cindy. "So I'm gonna see Besithia in his office later today to ask his permission and… yeah. It's… kinda nerve-wracking. Can ya come with me, by any chance? For emotional support?"

You opened your mouth to answer, but a vibration from your phone distracted your attention. You glanced at it and saw that there were incoming text messages from Noctis.

Come to apt asap.

Need help

Pls

When you looked back up to Cindy, you were almost certain that all blood must have drained from your face. You rarely received a text from Noctis, after all. So when he did, it must be for something important… right?

"Sorry, Cindy… but I have to… go… somewhere."

You may have stayed long enough to hear Cindy's reaction. Or you may have not. Either way, you couldn't really remember what she had said as you stormed through half the campus, trying to get to the metro station as fast as you humanly could.

#ffxv #final fantasy xv #fanfic #wip #noctis x reader #noctis lucis caelum #ardyn izunia #cindy aurum #fashion au #uni student reader #insomnia kiss

[rainsongmp3]

someday someone will send me an ask and beg for me to explain my thoughts on dean and led zeppelin PLS EXPLAIN thoughts on dean are never too much!!

if i remember this post correctly, we’re engaged now...... i know this took forever but here is like a small portion of my dean x zeppelin essay

dean winchester listening to led zeppelin and loving them to the point where they’re clearly his favorite band says a lot about his character. i think this was a conscious decision made by kripke and the writers. it’s not like the whole vonnegut thing (i could probably talk about that for hours too). the writers really sat down and said dean winchester loves led zeppelin, he relates to their songs, he loves them enough to know almost everything there is to know about this band. it’s not an accident. he says that his favorite song is a tie between ramble on and travelling riverside blues. travelling riverside blues is off zeppelin’s album coda which was released after the band broke up. it’s got songs that they wrote but never made it onto an album. this suggests that dean’s listened to their entire discography which is to be expected. the man knows his zeppelin. there’s that scene where he’s talking to the siren and they’re playing zeppelin trivia and the questions are about who wrote and produced the songs. (which like ya gay but that’s not what this is about.) led zeppelin has so many songs that dean can relate to and connect with. they’re about love and traveling and sex and baby, i have to go and baby, i want to stay. so much of dean is in these songs. ramble on is about being unable to stay in one place and build a life. it’s about feeling the need to leave like your blood is buzzing and you can’t calm down until you’re back on the road. and that is just !! there is a reason ramble on is the zeppnatural thesis. dean also got his music taste from john. he wanted to emulate his father. the car, the leather jacket, the music, the attitude— it’s all dean performing the image of masculinity to be like his father and make his father proud. (the gender of this is insane but we’re not doing gendernatural rn.) but led zeppelin goes beyond this for dean. john and mary fell in love over zeppelin. he has an emotional attachment to it in a positive and loving way. led zeppelin is literally a love language for dean, but it’s also just a language. he uses led zeppelin to communicate to others (the mixtape) and even to himself. led zeppelin is an intentional, purposeful, and telling aspect of dean as a character.

#there will be more to the deanzepp essay #this is just a tease #i felt bad that i was zeppnatural posting and procrastinating this #spn #dean winchester #supernatural #zeppnatural #lex answers

[kikis-writing-world]

Hello! Congrats on the follower milestone! Could I please request a ship (with the pedro boys minus Ezra pls)? 🥺🥺

I'm a 27 yo phd student in computer science, working on medical imaging and that's something I want to keep on doing when I finish my thesis. I'm a bit of an awkward turtle sometimes, but once I get used to people I'm an open, funny person (at least I think so). My hobbies are drawing, knitting and gaming!

I think I sent my ask too soon, and don't really remember what I wrote! (Which is also very me so use this information however you see fit!) Congrats again on your milestone! Love your writing! Hope you find many muses on your path!

Thank you <3 I can’t get over the idea of you with Marcus Pike. You’re a little awkward and spacey sometimes and he finds that endearing. He always wants to know where your mind trailed off to when you jump from one thought to another. He also would be so proud of how smart you are with the medical imagine, computering, mathing - I checked your profile for more about you lol And this is a man that would proudly wear a home-made, knitted scarf, mittens, hat, sweater, anything you make for him. Anyone comments on them, he’d be so happy to say his girl made them for him. And lazy nights in, the two of you playing silly video games to unwind? Yeah, he could definitely get into that. He probably wasn’t the biggest gamer before you, so you’d have to go easy on him and teach him how to play. Plus we already know he’s an art guy, so he’d love to see your drawings.

Okay I’m not sure where I got this idea, but I love the two of you meeting in a weekly art “class.” Maybe you got the class as a gift for the holidays, and Marcus decides to take it to cure a bit of burnout he’s feeling about art lately. He’s been seeing it too much as work, and he needs to reconnect to what he loves about it. The class runs for a few weeks, and while I’m calling it a class it’s almost more of a workshop. It has all the tools and supplies to make art, and every week there’s a theme that you’re invited to try to fit with but it’s not mandatory - because inspiration strikes however it wants, and who’s going to tell you what to do!

You have an easel set up next to Marcus, and you end up chatting together a little bit. First, he asks to use a colour you have when you’re done with it. When you lean over to pass it along, you compliment him on his work, but he waves off the praise. That’s when he admits he’s used to seeing better art all the time, which leads you to ask about his job. At the end of the class, you once again tell him you like what he made, and he shouldn’t be so hard on himself.

You don’t think about it too much until the next week, when you realize you’re hoping he shows up again and sits next to you again. He does, and the two of you strike up an easy conversation. When you get stuck on your work - it’s not quite going the way you wanted it to - he offers a suggestion, kinda bashfully, on how to help. It works and you thank him for it. At the end of the class, you tell him he should sign his name at the bottom next to yours since he helped so much. This new friendship continues through the next couple of classes.

A few classes later something happens and there’s one less easel. Uh oh! Someone won’t have one, that sucks... but wait, Marcus suggests you two work on something together. He says it’ll be an interesting exercise and probably really fun. By the end of it you’re both an absolute mess, covered in paint and charcoal and whatever other mediums you used, and laughing. The art looks alright, but you love it because of the fun you had making it. You both admit to wanting to keep it, so you suggest shared custody. Marcus writes his number on the back so you can call him to exchange it.

You call a few weeks later to exchange it, and when you show up to dinner with the painting, he’s really flustered. You’re confused why, and he eventually admits that he was hoping you were honestly asking him to dinner. He admits he’s liked getting to know you so far and would like to know more. You’re the flustered one now because you had no idea he liked you, but you agree that you’d like to get to know him more too.

When the two of you eventually move in together, the painting hangs in the living room so you two can see it everyday.

SHIP REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY CLOSED - thanks everyone!

#66followers #66Followers Celebration #shipping games #computeringturtle #300 Followers Celebration

[nossbean]

so this eve i’m thinking about the last couple of paragraphs of Jaime’s final ASOS chapter (which happen immediately after he gives Brienne Oathkeeper and she promises to find Sansa “For her lady mother’s sake. And for yours.”) And particularly the bolded lines:

Jaime sat alone at the table while the shadows crept across the room. As dusk began to settle, he lit a candle and opened the White Book to his own page. Quill and ink he found in a drawer. Beneath the last line Ser Barristan had entered, he wrote in an awkward hand that might have done credit to a six-year-old being taught his first letters by a maester:

Defeated in the Whispering Wood by the Young Wolf Robb Stark during the War of the Five Kinds. Held captive at Riverrun and ransomed for a promise unfulfilled. Captured again by the Brave Companions, and maimed at the word of Vargo Hoat their captain, losing his sword hand to the blade of Zollo the Fat. Returned safely to King’s Landing by Brienne, the Maid of Tarth.

When he was done, more than three-quarters of his page still remained to be filled between the gold lion on the crimson shield on top and the blank white shield at the bottom. Ser Gerold Hightower had begun his history, and Ser Barristan Selmy had continued it, but the rest Jaime Lannister would need to write for himself. He could write whatever he chose, henceforth.

Whatever he chose...

You have a thesis for Jaime’s arc right there in simple text. It’s a neat bow of the threads of his arc through ASOS and carries through AFFC/ADWD. (Am I resisting making a comment about d&d and reading comprehension? YES. pls be impressed by my self control, thx)

Like. The first thing he does after that thought is do what he deems right: freeing Tyrion. And that means actively defying Cersei, and his father, and the crown. And then he seeks - redemption isn’t quite the right word, but he seeks to make right the story and history about Tysha between he and Tyrion. And you know what? It goes utterly, spectacularly, bombastically wrong. I don’t know if there’s any way it could have gone more wrong, to be honest, even as it ostensibly goes right in that he succeeds in his aims of getting Tyrion safely away. His brother comes to hate him (Jaime thinks), and also reveals to him Cersei’s infidelity, and also that he, Tyrion, killed Joffrey. And then, insult to injury (or maybe the other way around in this case) Tyrion goes and kills their father.

After that it somehow manages to go further to pot in AFFC: innocent guards are killed for his actions and Cersei somehow finds new ways to fear and torment their brother (and/or, as it turns out, other innocent little people throughout Westeros).

And yet, regardless, Jaime is still committed to his new path. For someone so recently disenchanted with (to put it mildly) and disconnected from literally everything, the many deep and varied ways his first* attempt at, hm, betterment (for want of a better word!) went wrong could easily have sent him into a tailspin. But for all he might grumble in his thoughts, he stays the path. For all he grouses about Brienne’s stubbornness, turns out he’s just as stubborn. He gets to choose what he writes damnit! And if that means people mistake his intentions, or that he needs to rely on a reputation he despises to get the right results, so be it! But at the end of the day he’s doing what he thinks is right and writing his own damn story.

(ALSO I do not think it’s coincidence that Jaime works to save Tyrion and also sends Brienne to save Sansa, both for his own sake and also in defiance of Cersei’s wishes, and then one of the things he confesses to Ilyn is his potentially killing Arya on Cersei’s behalf, when referencing AGOT shenanigans. There are some direct lines happening here, even if Jaime’s thoughts aren’t linking them up just yet.)

(*I say first here, though there are various arguments to be made that he’d done things already for the sake of Brienne, and that’s all super legitimate and I agree. I guess what I mean is this is the first thing that happens after he makes that explicit commitment to himself.)

#also i'm enjoying the fact that after Brienne left he just had to like sit for a while and process for so long he lost the daylight #here have some rambling #i don't know if this makes sense it's been ages since i've attempted anything even vaguely meta-y that wasn't basically keyboard smash #and/or trying to work out my feelings via fic #i guess the thought i was having circling the drain a bit #and that undoubtedly others have put more articulately/succinctly #is that jaime’s arc so far presents someone disconnected and disenchanted and walking a shitty path #making dubious choice after morally wrong choice time and again #and then: he determines to stop #and he keeps trying to do what's right #and he does get results: the stuff with tyrion went really badly but the rest (so far) has gone all right #he’s no longer too proud to sacrifice a bit of himself; too aloof to not bother; too walled off to care #that last one is the bottom line i think #jaime has always cared: a lot. and then he tried to stop - or at least significantly narrow the scope #to where it was ‘safe’ to care: his family #only it wasnt safe to care there at all. like. AT ALL. #and his experiences with brienne showed him someone brave enough to care despite herself: and even care for him whilst despising him #and it turns out maybe... he can bear the weight of caring again #maybe... that’s better than the alternative. even when it’s hard. and people still think he’s shit. #and it means turning away from his family. and pulling out all the stops even whilst convincing himself they won’t work #except: bit by bit they do. and maybe... his family was never a harbour but an anchor dragging him back #maybe cersei was never the best part of him but rather enabling the worst #maybe there was something better in this shitty place and maybe he sent the best part of it away and maybe he regrets that #but maybe in the meantime he can try to make the shitty place better in whatever ways he’s able #and then maybe... well. maybe that best part will turn up on his doorstep again and he won’t be ashamed to meet her #i'm doing a re-read can you tell #anyway i still don't think i've got there and undoubtedly i've missed obvious things but here take this! #having feelings about jaime lannister in the nossbean household tonight #honestly it's an important narrative trope that's too rare in media and #jaime lannister deserved better

[bulletproofscales]

Could u pls do some 2seok where Jin fattens hobi up so much that the poor baby gets stuck in a door or breaks a chair? N he doesn't know how to feel but jinnie comforts him n feeds him n gives him tummy rubs n jst luvs him :(( ♡

—ok so,,, mayhaps,,, i got a little carried away,,,and wrote,,, over 5k words???? IM SORYY I HAVE A THING FOR 2SEOK. I love this request too!! It’s my first time writting a prompt about a character breaking something (that isnt clothing) so i really hope i dont let you down with this one!!–

Seokjin had already adopted their entire life to fit Hoseok’s size. The large size chairs with no arms, changing a wooden bed for a double matress on the floor, wide doors, open spaces. Every measure to make the younger as cozy as possible in the comfort of their own home. But this week, Mrs and Mr. Jung had asked the couple if they could watch over the house as they went on a short vacation; cramped rooms, old chairs, childhood beds.  To say Hoseok was frightened would be an understatement.

In his defence, he had every right to be anxious. There had been a drastic change on Hoseok’s frame, and his parents were too very slim individuals. He knew they had asked him and not sister just because she was on a short trip to Japan, he wasn’t the closest with his parents. They were judgmental enough when he was only chubby but now it had been a couple of months since his last visit, and anyone could say he was now properly obese. It wasn’t even an exaggeration at this point. His face had rounded out completely, and neck had disappeared entirely only to be replaced with a thick layer of fat. His chest had grown enough to be considered breasts, sagging down and resting on his enormous belly; which had grown enough to get in Hoseok’s way of normal everyday basics: he had a hard time putting on shoes, most times opting for sandals, put on pants, or well, joggers with extreme difficulty, he couldn’t even see his feet anymore! But it wasn’t a risky guess to say they were probably chubby as well. His stomach took so much space his arms, now flabby and with jiggly wings, couldn’t reach the bottom of it. His overhang so low it took up most space of his crotch; that also had a little separate pouch of fat above it. His love handles were now big enough to connect with the rolls of fat on his back. His legs had grown inwards and outwards, making it harder to walk or move in general. And it was all Kim Seokjin’s fault.

Hoseok was really fit once, lean muscles and sharp angles. In constant fear of dropping people’s expectations of him; that he was going to make it big, the world known dancer he had to become. The pressure was suffocating and soon turned the thing he loved the most, into the biggest toll on his mental health; to the point once he moved out of his parents’ house, the once extroverted cheerful boy isolated himself from not only his hometown friends but also the ones he had quickly made in Seoul. It was shocking to Seokjin when the guy he had not so long ago became his boyfriend, stopped talking to him entirely, even though he was older, he understood the stress of university. But it was summer vacation and there was still no sign of the dancer, of course, he didn’t expect him to burst out crying when he confronted the younger in his own apartment door. Yet with the discovery that this was much more than just stress from studies, Seokjin felt only more motivated to stay and to bring back the joyful man he met when the boy first entered university and their friend group. So he started hanging out more in the younger’s apartment, most days cooking his own meals for two; knowing fully well how more often than not, Hoseok would skip his everyday meals. And to Seokjin’s luck, the dancer not only accepted them but also ate them gleefully. Or at least that’s what the older could say from the now healthy weight he had gained. His ribs aren’t as noticeable and his every angle felt at least a little soter.; hi mood was better too, less anxious and even more confident in his own skin. Not as unsure, but the fun, extroverted and cheerful man he was before. Not only that, but Hoseok had also started to spend less time practicing in the dance studio, and more time at home; which gave the older the perfect opportunity to shower him with love, even though he was letting loose a little, it didn’t mean his incertenties disappeared. So the older would automatically preparee little details for huis boyfriend to see, from a single cupcake next to  a post it with an encouraging message on it, or an ice cream after a particularly hard day, or a full on feast of celebration. It was Seokjin’s way of expressing support, especially considering how hard Hoseok wa son his body. For example, there was a feast with all of the dancer, or well, ex-dancer, when he decided to change his major to literature. It wasn’t that Seokjin was against dancing, but it had become such a toxic aspect of his boyfriend’s life, the reason behind all of his insecurities and anxieties. The older couldn’t say he was upset with the change, rather excited by it. Hoseok, of course was still uncertain but not only with Seokjin but with the help of everyone, he learnt to feel comfortable on his current major.

When Hoseok was majoring in dancing composition, all of his boyfriend`s rich foods would burn out throughout the week; however, it just so happened that the literature major did not require half as much movement as his former one. So it wasn’t a surprise to anyone when the younger began to gain weight, barely noticeable at first as Hoseok had the metabolism of a teenager. But that could only keep him fit solong; slowly, and very gradually weight began to settle. Barely noticeable, a soft stomach rounder thighs, but now, it would be the first thing people saw in him when he walked past.

It was hard, even though he was near finishing his major, in a happy relationship., with an amazing group of friends who stood by him; Hoseok still had his doubts about his change in career, especially with the metamorphosis his body had gone through. But with his boyfriends’ help, they adjusted their life till it was hardly noticeable that he was any different to their friends. But that was in their apartment, in Seoul.

“Seokjin I don’t fit through the door.” Hoseok stated mortified in front of the too slim entrance.

“Oh come on, Hobi! No with that attitude you won’t!”

“I am physically unable to go through this door.” He stood rigid as he saw his boyfriend laugh hysterically already inside the house.

“Don’t be ridiculous Seokie! Come I’ll help you in.” The older stood now outside in front of Hoseok, Slim crooked fingers holding fat ones. “Do you wanna try sideways or normal?”

“Lets try sideways.” The younger said waddling till he was no longer facing the door but the house next to them. Seokjin slides his hands from his arms to the very center of the massive expanse of his stomach.

“Ok, now walk slowly, try sucking in once you reach the door.” The older’s calmness was somewhat contagious as Hoseok walked over to the door, his boyfriend was already inside though his hands were still on him, pushing the fat slightly inwards, he would squish and ohs every side that went past the door frame so that he would fit. And just like that, slowly and  carefully, Hoseok was inside his childhood home.

“If I have to do that everytime to get in an out of the house I think I’ll just stay in the entire week.” Hoseok groaned instantly finding a chair to sit down, cringing at the loud creak it produced. His breathing was heavy already, he could feel the heat radiating from his most likely red cheeks.

“Then don’t? I mean, you always used to complained how there wasn’t anything to do here anyway. And your parents already left tons of food for us to eat.” He shrugged cheekily “I say we use this week to relax, I know how stressed you’ve been with your thesis on that book..um…?” He gestured vaguely with his large hands.

“Demian” The younger started with a loud exhale of air, feeling the exhaustion from just the name of the novel alone.

“See? You are in need of a break, and you are in luck your amazing boyfriend is going to make sure, you have a good time!” He exclaimed rather dramatically, which earnt a fit of bubbly giggles from the younger. “I’m thinking….”He paused for a moment’s shifting his weight from one long leg to the other. “Movie marathon, blanket fort, and that stew you told me your mom left us.” Hoseok’s heart shaped smiled split his face in half, nodding quickly. And with that his boyfriend left to the living room, probably top build that for the mentioned. The younger would go grab the food and plates, however he had to get up first; a basic day to day thing that had become a difficulty with time. It took a few attempts but he was finally up and waddling his way into the cramped kitchen. It was hard, his ass constantly brushing against the counters, sometimes pushing pots in the process of moving; though he finally was able to not only waddle his way into the living room carrying the huge pot, but also go back for two large sodas and their plates glasses and chopsticks.

His childhood living room was turned into a blanket fortress, which wasn’t surprising knowing it was Seokjin’s specialty. The floor covered with pillows and blankets, making it comfortable to sit on the ground rather than the couch; it was a good call considering how small this couch was in comparison to theirs, Hoseok probably would only be able to fit half of his ass on it. Besides why would he choose the couch when he had his boyfriend already waiting open arms on floor, “The Lion King” ready to play in the tv in front of them, lights already dim and ready.  With an adoring smile he wobbled his way into the floor, sitting down with a loud thud and a long exhale of breath; automatically his boyfriend began to serve him a large portion and set on top of his massive stomach. It pulled down enough for his overhang to be completely settled on the floor covering his crotch; which was also being squished between the fat of his thighs which he had to have spread for ther eot be room for his overflowing stomach. He began to eat happily, one hand bringing food into his parted lipos and the other holding him up from behind; though his flabby arm got tired and he had to push himself backwards against the couch, his whole body jiggling violently with the movement.

He finished his serving quite quickly, and his appetite had changed drastically over the last couple of years, so he pushed himself forward to get a second. Though he finished that one at amazing speed too, so he had to move again to get his third; but by the forth serving Hoseok was growing tired of moving forward and back constantly and eye his boyfriend who had an arm over his shoulder and another hand mindlessly on his not yet bloated stomach. All it took was a slight cough from the younger and Seokjin is already bringing the pot near them to serve him his fifth serving of stew. There was nearly half of the pot left, though Hoseok kept up a fast pace until his seventh serving, he was feeling a little full, his stomach hardening on the slightest; yet this isn’t a worry on the younger’s mind as the large kept it’s steady rhythm tracing circles around the expanse of fat. It was on the eight serving where he had to take a break, his breathing reduced to heavy intakes of air; signalling silently for hs boyfriend to bring him one of the bottles of soda, not needing to be told to help him hold it the older did anyways; knowing Hoseok’s arms would only resist so long, long crooked fingers placed firmly on top of chubby ones as the younger gulped down.  There was less than half the bottle left, and his stomach had expanded ridiculously almost no fat left to squish; a loud whine made it past his oily lips before the younger could restrain it.

“Aw, Hoseokie, we both know there is still room left.” He left no time for the other to respond as a hand sneaked its way under the tight shirt and began pressing at the sides, massaging the pain away strongly. It took a couple of minutes but the younger finally felt a wave of hunger go through him because of the smell of the stew that is yet to be eaten inside the pot.

“I’m ready.” He stated quietly, though this time he didn’t move to grab Seokjin’s hand with the next serving on it. The older was quick to realize what he had to do, and pressed himself against Hoseok’s side, sinking into the flesh as he brought a mouthful of food into his lazily parted lips. Neither of them were paying attention to the movie anymore, both of them completely absorbed with what was happening. Stuffings weren’t a rare occurrence though every time both Hoseok and Seokjin got completely lost in it; the younger shivered with the feeling of hot stew slipping down his throat easily, warm all over because of their overeating, and Seokjin’s hot breath on his thick neck. A deep brush tainted his cheeks as he panted, poking his eyes open at the lack of food being sent his way, only to be found with an empty pot.

“I think this was meant to last us the entire week.” Seokjin’s says breathless, the younger knew he was excited by this too. They both acknowledged it, though never spoke of it. He felt the same way too, and even though Hoseok did spend a lot of his time eating and Seokjin feeding him; never like this. Not hours of stuffing that left both of them breathless, they both knew the other wanted that, though they never found the time. That was until they were asked to look out for the Jung parents’ house, all alone for an entire week. Maybe this week wouldn’t be so bad.

And he had been right, it was in this week were both lovers discovered the very wonders of feederism; testing the younger’s limits on every meal which had him on a constant state of fullness and laziness. Tonight was their last diner in the house before they had to leave the house. Seokjin was currently out, looking for all of their orders at the various restaurants Hoseok had ordered form. Not so much to their surprise, they had finished all of the food Hoseok’s parents had left them by the lunch of day two; or well at least the younger did.  Even though his hometown wasn’t necessarily the biggest, there so many orders that had Hoseok’s stomach rumbling angrily, but there was no food left! Unless…

He swung his gigantic mass forward and back looking for impulse to stand; it took a couple of tries but with a violent speed he stood up. The enormous amount of weight in his middle almost making him fall forward, he was already panting and he could feel his hearts speeding up. It took some moments of recomposure until he began to waddle his way into his parents’ bedroom; if his memory didn’t fail him, his mother had a secret stock of fattening foods for when she was on her diets. He sneaked his fat mass through the slim door into her closet and spread his knees seperate ways to make room for the giant rolls that formed whenever he crouched. and there it was the large “shoe box” underneath layer wsof clothes that covered it.

Happily he took it, though all this walking had tir4ed him out; he eyed the chair on hispàrents’ desk. It might not be the most comfortable, but he didn’t have the time to clean the crumbs he was going to leave in their bed afterwards, nor the energy to walk back to the living room. So with a sigh, he laid all of his weight aggressively on the weak chair. It creaked loudly but that was a normality now for Hoseok so he proceeded to excitedly open the box. He could start eating now, and when he had more energy go back to the couch, right?

He didn’t exactly know what he was going to find inside the box, though at this point he was willing to eat anything; he actually had a hard time reaching the insides of the box, having to be at a distance from the desk, his stomach getting in the way between him and the food. He let the desk sink into his belly as he reached over the massive chocolate bar and began to eat. His plans of going to the couch being forgotten  not only because he got lost on the eating and the feeling of his hunger decreasing gradually; but also the feeling of revenge on his parents. Knowing how much of a pig they would think he is ass overspilling on the chair, gut too fat pushing against the desk, too spoiled to be able to wait less than an hour without food.  It was thrilling, knowing how much o a pig he was; he wants to slow down so Seokjin could see him like this when he arrived; but i couldn’t help the speed at which food enters his mouth, he was so hungry. His train of thought had already stopped long ago, the feeling of food settling down at the bottom of his large stomach, in fact he had begin to close his eyes in pleasure, only hearing his heavy breathing and the noise of him biting and swallowing food he didn’t even took the time to recognize. So lost in the feeling, perhaps, too lost, as he couldn’t anticipate the loud crack coming from underneath him. Hoseok didn’t have time to process what had just happened, but the broken pieces of chair sinking into his flabby ass and the fact that he was now sitting on the floor; made it pretty clear.  He broke his parents’ chair.

He felt a wave of horror rush through him, the only thought that occupied his mind was “Failure”. He shouldn’t have dropped out of dance, he shouldn’t have gained al this weight; now it was too late, he was just a big fat disappointment to everyone who once knew him; this was probably too much for Seokjin too. What kind of person would want a morbidly obese partner? And like a bad ironic joke to Hoseok, he heard the door open.

“Hobi?” The older called loud voice resonating through the house. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want the othe to see him like this; so hurriedly and ungracefully he attempted to stand up, he failed at first and fell with a loud thud making the floor vibrate as an aftermath. The learning footsteps only made the younger more determined as he stood up after a large intake of air and waddlñed towards the door, just at the same time as his boyfriend.

“Oh, Seokjinnie, hi.” His voice sounded raspy and out of breath, and he saw Seokjin had rushed to him with the multiple orders still in his hand.

“Are you ok? I heard something cracking…Why are you in your parents`room?” Hoseok wa squick to overcompensate.

“Oh yeah I was feeling a little nostalgic and I know my mom had a box on her wardrobe with photos and stuff though I couldn’t find it, I just ended up knocking stuff over… Haha you know me I can be a little clumsy!!” Hoseok considered himself a good liar, and it had just been proven with the dark look that took over Seokjin. However, he could guess what was coming and after his insecurity break down, the last thing he wanted to do was eat. But if it got him out of his parents’ bedroom, he’d take it.

“Oh, I bet you looked great, your fat ass squished into that tiny little room.” Hoseok’s eyes widen, they had talked about those types of nicknames during the week, and HOseok was actively in favor of them. But Now, all they did was make his stomach twist in a nauseous nature. He let out an exaggerated whine

“Seokjin, can’t we just go and eat in the living room? I’m too hungry to wait.” It wasn’t really a lie, as much self deprecation he felt. He still wasn’t quite full. He tensed in fear as he felt one of his boyfriend’s long fingers brush against the outside of his mouth,  cleaning off a stain of dark chocolate.

“Even after you stuffed your face while I was gone, pig?” Hoseok stood rigid, he felt another large hand press against the top of his stomach pushing him further inside slightly. The younger’s lack of answer only encouraged the other to continue. “Maybe I spoiled you too much, huh fatso? You can’t even wait 40 minutes without food in your mouth. And what’s worse is you probably are hungry. It’s never enough for you, just can’t stop gorging yourself into what you are now, a big, fat pig.”

“Airplane!” Hoseok couldn’t hold the scream that left his lips. The use of the safeword instantly making Seokjin’s eyes softened, he didn’t barge the younger with questions, knowing fully well this would only overwhelm him more. Instead he placed a cold hand on his round heated cheek. Though he remained silent, though his nerves urged him to know and with the most gentle voice he could muster he spoke.

“Seokie, you can tell me.” He pleaded silently although he was desperate. The younger was looking down, ashamed, Seokjin’s caring voice being the only thing that motivated him to tell.

“I broke my parents’ chair.” He stated in a quiet voice. “I sat in it and after a couple of minutes it just fell apart” As he went further explaining the situation he could hear his voice wobbling. “A-and now, I just can’t stop thinking about what would they think, and how disappointed they must feel, they hate me enough knowing that I gave up becoming a dancer. B-but I can’t even imagine what they would think if they saw me like this. Fuck, it must be disgusting even for- for you.” He didn’t dare to look at Seokjin’s reaction, fear shaking him to the point of crying. Though he didn’t realize he was doing so until he felt soft touches over his long ago faded cheekbones, he looked up startled.

“Hoseok.” The older’s tone sounded serious, stern even . “I could never disgusted by you. You know how gorgeous I think you are, any weight, any size. I- I wish I would have been here when it happened, made sure you were comfortable. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” He sounded helpless as his dark eyes searched within Hoseok’s.

“It was embarrassing ok? I was already beginning to think you would be grossed out by me.” He said sounding a lot more comfortable in the situation.

“Well, you thought wrong…And…I get if you don’t want to do the stuffing, though you are still having something for dinner.” The older too was regaining his cheeky demeanor as he spoke. And although what happened had left him feeling self conscious, the idea of Seokjin taking care of him with a sesion didn’t seem that bad; the thought of gentle hands and caring words took over his head as he answered almost automatically.

“No no! Actually, I would really like that.” His words came out desesperante at first and then became shy and embarrassed, though his words caused a wide grin to his boyfriend’s face. He passed all the bag orders into one hand, which honestly seemed to be straining his slim fingers and with the other he extended it fo Hoseok to grab. Holding onto it tightly they walked together through the thin corridors into the living room. The younger sitting with a heavy exhale, the loud creak of the couch brought back memories of what had just happened minutes ago., though luckily, Seokjin wa squickly next to him, all orders splayed out on the coffee table a careful hand caressing his chubby cheek.

“What would you like to start with baby?” His voice was so soft, the older clearly understood what Hoseok needed instead of their ordinary rather more intense stuffings. And Hoseok was grateful for that.

“With the chicken.” The younger’s voice came out equally quiet. ANd no more words were needed as Seokjin reached out onto the table grabbing the dish and bringing mouthfuls into his boyfriend’s lips; their pace was slow and steady. The older’s nose brushing against Hoseok’s flabby cheek, nuzzling closer to his side with each bite. It wasn’t long until he finished the plate, lips oily with grease, though Seokjin didn’t seem to mind as he kissed him sweetly.

“You are doing so good already Hobi. So good for me. How’s your stomach feeling?” Hoseok is only able to answer with a low whine, chubby fingers reaching out to the center of his stomach, where his fingers met Seokjin’s. “No,no. Let me take care of you.” And with a tight squeeze to the younger’s hand, he continued rubbing circles all along the top of the massive dome lightly. Hoseok didn’t feel that full, though it helped to take things slowly and gently. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, him leaning back relaxing enough to have his eyes closed  as Seokjin’s hands found each their way to knead they doughty flesh. Quiet hums escaped his lips under the pressure of the older’s hands. Until they stopped moving, and  suddenly he felt a warm breath against his ear. “What next love?” Hoseok peaked his eyes opened and analized what was  before him. Avoiding to look at his boyfriend knowing fully well the rosey tinted his face would have under the use of that type of nicknames.

“Pork please.” His voice was cheerful once again, which only gave Seokjin more motivation to reach out and began feeding him, still slowly yet the atmosphere had changed; the air seemed lighter and it had seemed as if the chair incident had been forgotten. The older leaned in to spread light kisses over all of Hoseok’s soft shoulder; which earnt as a result contagious giggles from the other. Though he was quick to shut up when the food was brought to his mouth. This time, a lot more open than when they had first started the stuffing, the younger hummed in approval; could be because of the taste of the food, or because Seokjin’s kisses to his body had become sloppy and slow. The feeling of tightness was taking over Hoisoek’s expanded middle, ever so slightly he whined and took the plate from Seokjin’s hands, earning a confused glance. “I-I’ll go one, but, rub my stomach?” He didn’t sound desperate though, the way his face scrunched up in pleasure once the older began massaging his dome was enough.

“Of course baby, you know how much I love taking care of you. Seeing you treat yourself,  eat to your heart’s content; it makes me so happy Seokie.”  Long fingers groped gently the large overhang of Hoseok’s stomach, whilst the other hand rubbed circles all over the middle strongly. Warm words encouraged the younger to speed up his pace as he ate his way through the second dish, finishing it quickly. Seokjin’s eyes were on him constantly, looking mesmerized as he saw his boyfriend eat. “What next sweetheart?” There were only two more dishes left before going into desserts, so there wasn’t that much choice.  

“Pass me the stake and I’ll eat the burger last.”  And instantly he had the dish placed carefully on the top of his large stomach. He began to eat, his pace even quicker than before, a rush of motivation getting to him. Of course his boyfriend noticed, acknowledging HOseok’’s efforts with a tight squeeze to his thick love handles.

“You are finishing them so fast, ‘m so proud. You are doing amazing baby, enjoying yourself to the fullest, well fed; taken care of, that’s what you deserve. “ Gentle words came along with a burger set in front of him. Hoseok was already feeling properly full by now, pace still fast though not as willingly. He bit into the large burger and moaned around it, the flavour of the burger mixing with the way Seokjin’s strong hands roamed and groped all over him, sending him waves of pleasure. The younger’s eyes were half lidded, his breathing has become heavy and a thin layer of sweat covered his entire mass. Though finishing the burger was becoming hard, his  stomach had hardened to its majority which lead to a lethargic lazy pace of eating. He counted the bites left for him to finish it, and once he did, he was saddened at the lost of not only Seokjin’s hands over his body but the warmth of his body next to him. The older was bringing the two desserts that they had ordered onto the couch, occupying the space where Seokjin had formerly been sitting; and with that he happily sat on Hoseok’s lap, slim torso pushing against hard dome earning a loud moan from both of them. “Your stomach is so hard, you ate so much, Seokie. You did so well, how about we mix both the ice cream and the cake for you to drink huh? How does that sound?” Seokjin’s voice remained gentle and caring, HOseok keened at the praise nodding desperately at the amazing suggestion. The older stood up and walked the kitchen where the noise of the blender could be heard. Quickly the weight of his tall boyfriend was again on his laps as he handed him the large glass with a straw, holding it with both hands as he drank it easily. The feeling of cold liquid sliding down his throat, made his entire body relax. Seokjin took both of his free hands as an opportunity hands caressing and pressing onto the places he saw impacted Hoseok the most, the younger had his full attention as he saw his expression change when he pressed his side or the top of his stomach. Though he found the sweet post once he saw Hoseok’s face scrunch up when he groped and jiggled strongly the overhang of his massive stomach. With both hands at the bottom, he leaned down and began to spread kisses all over the clothed dome, in between kisses soft caring murmurs made their way past Seokjin’s full lips. “So good Hobi, so good for me. You are so beautiful, so stunning.” Hoseok’s  face heated up at the encouraging words, motivating him to finish his dessert even though he felt to his limit. With a big intake of air, he swallowed what was left of his milkshake; he finished and his stomach was throbbing, making him scrunch his face up in pain and not pleasure. Though no words were needed as Seokjin’s expert hands pushed his sides inwards with slight strength, leaning in for his boyfriends chocolate lips, the sweet taste of what he had just eaten taking over his own mouth. Their kiss started quick and chaste but grew sloppy and slow, with the only interventions being the older praise.

“You did amazing Hoseok, I’m so proud of you. My beautiful, boyfriend, did so good, so full and happy just for me…We’ll have to get them a new chair though.”

#annon #request #2seok #bts chubby #bts feederism #bts fat #kim seokjin #jung hoseok #feedee hoseok #feedee hobi #feedee jhope #feeder seokjin #feeder jin #seokseok

[dracosollicitus]

96, 'it was a mistake and I know I can never fix this' hit us with the angst pls

So fun fact, May the Froth Be With You actually originally ended with Poe and Rey breaking up (basically, Poe wasn’t doing well and went in for mandatory hospitalization with Kes’s insistence - he broke up with Rey beforehand though, as he was in a terrible place). This was a scene I deleted from the fic after I re-wrote the ending - part of it just so happens to almost exactly line up with this prompt! 

Woot, here we go: (and pls don’t hate me along the way, remember that MTFBWY ends very happily in reality)

Warning for: references to child abuse/violence/cursing/self-loathing/mental health issues (i.e. the warnings from MTFBWY)

Rey bumps into him on the street, almost three weeks After.

He’s walking down the street, arm-in-arm with Kare while Bee trots along at their heels - she’d shown up with her husband after Kes called them during Poe’s hospital stay. She’s gotten him to laugh somehow, a complete miracle, and Poe feels - well, he doesn’t feel okay, but he doesn’t feel awful either. Snap’s waiting for them back at his apartment, probably laden down with enough pizza to feed a small army (Poe isn’t hungry, hasn’t been hungry since before the hospital, his new meds making him queasy and resistant to eating, but he has a feeling Kare’s going to see him eat even if she has to feed him herself). He’s laughing, and Kare loops an arm around his neck, pulling him to kiss him on the cheek affectionately. 

Then, he looks up at a strange squeaking noise, and sees Rey Niima. The love of his life, Rey, the one he never said I love you too, the one who got away, the one who he chased away, and every stupid rational reason he had for them not being together vanishes in a puff of smoke in his ridiculous brain.

God, he misses her. He misses her so much. They’re all frozen on the sidewalk, Kare looking nervously between Poe and Rey. 

“Rey,” Poe says hoarsely. She looks so beautiful, wearing a pretty dress, her hair up, the necklace he gave her around her neck (and he hates how that makes hope flare in his stomach). Then, he remembers what day it is and groans. She’s going to defend her thesis today. He meant to go. He didn’t think she’d want to see him. Judging by the look on her face, he now knows she really didn’t want to see him. 

She nods, neutrality overtaking her expression. “Major.” Rey walks around them, not waiting for an introduction, not stopping to say hi to Bee who had perked up remarkably upon seeing his favorite human; and he turns and stares at her until she disappears into a storefront. 

“Is that who I think it was?” Kare asks gently. Poe nods miserably, and Kare leads him towards her car. Poe gets in, and once she starts the ignition, he bursts into horrible, wracking sobs.

Kare doesn’t succeed in calming him down by the time they get to his apartment, Bee sitting on his lap the whole time whining with concern, and Snap doesn’t comment when his wife ushers his sobbing friend through the door, across the apartment, and into his room. He falls asleep to the sound of his friends whisper-fighting in the hallway.

The next day, against all reason, he agrees to Kare’s suggestion that he go and talk to her. 

So, he finds himself standing outside the Botanical Sciences building, under the overhang, trying to stay out of the cold, pouring rain. Her office hours let out at 3:00, and it’s 3:05. 

Soon enough, she walks through the front doors, wearing a pencil skirt and a pretty blouse, a sweater pulled over her shoulders. Rey freezes when she sees him, and Poe almost immediately regrets agreeing to do this. She must hate him. He hates him.

“Hey,” he clears his throat. “I was uh - in the area, and it started raining, so I thought…maybe you’d want a ride?” It sounds lame even to him.

“I have a ride, thanks,” Rey toys with her lanyard anddoesn’t look at him.

“Okay,” Poe nods. “Okay, but Rey, please, can I justtalk to you?”

“I thought we were done talking,” Rey’s tight-lipped,and he can see the red rimming her eyes. She’s upset, but if she’s this upset,it means she has a reason to be – he hopes it means there’s still a chance,still even the slightest prayer.

“I don’t want to be,” he whispers. The rain poursoutside the awning of the building, and there’s nothing he wants more than topull her in tight to himself. Rey’s staring at him openly now, fear and sadnessand what he thinks, hopes, prays is wistfulness written on her face. He wantsto kiss her. He needs her.  He loves her.

God, he never told her.

“Rey,” he starts, but he’s cut off by the sound of acar pulling up to the curb ten feet away. The car doesn’t honk, but Rey quicklyturns her head to look at it.

“That’s my ride,” she laughs nervously. Poe can see aman behind the wheel waving at her, a man that’s certainly not Finn Trooper.

It’s Ben Solo. His world screeches to a halt. Ben Solo’s giving my girlfriend a ride home?That’s my job.

He corrects himself immediately. It isn’t his job, notanymore. Rey Niima isn’t his girlfriend anymore. He made damn sure of that.

“Are you two a thing now?” Poe asks, because fuck he’salways been stupid and can’t get in front of his mouth sometimes.

“I beg your pardon?” Rey’s sharp in a way he’s neverheard her be. He opens his mouth to apologize, but he cuts him off. “That’sreally none of your business, now is it?” She closes her mouth firmly, in anangry line, and walks out into the rain, and Poe’s frozen, watching her leaveagain. Rey’s bristling though, he can see it from where he stands. Sure enough,she spins around to face him, and his heart stutters at the tears in her eyes.

Rey spits, furiously, “You can go on dates withbeautiful women, but I can’t fucking get a ride home from a friend?” She walksforward until she’s in front of him again, and he’s so flustered by herproximity, it takes a second for what she said to sink in.

Date?Poehasn’t been a date since their last one. It was only three weeks ago, God it’s only been three weeks since he waslast whole, since he last held her, of course he hasn’t been on a date.

And then he remembers bumping into Rey on the sidewalkyesterday, remembers Kare hanging on his neck playfully.

“Kare? She’s married, Rey,” He manages to say.

Rey shakes her head against it. “It doesn’t matter. Ifit wasn’t her, it will be someone else. You’ll forget about me, Poe.”

“Never. I could never forget you, Rey.” She’s part ofhis soul now, seared into every molecule of his being.

“I wish you would,” Rey wipes her eyes. “I wish you’dforget me, so I could forget you. Because it hurts, Poe.” It’s killing him,too, he understands, fuck he didn’t think anything could hurt this much, evenafter he’d been so acquainted with so many kinds of pain. “I don’t know whatyou want from me, coming here, what your goal is. You broke my heart, and Ican’t walk around with that forever. Just let it die if you don’t want me, so Ican move on.”

Poe opens his mouth to argue, to beg, to plead, togrovel.

Ben Solo gets out of his car while unfurling anumbrella. The sound breaks their focus, and they turn to look at him.

“Here, let me walk you to the car,” Ben calls out. Hegives Poe a look nothing short of withering, and stalks over to them inseconds. Poe watches, completely dumbfounded as the asshole formerly known asKylo Ren offers his arm to Rey. She takes it and ducks in under his umbrella.“Your carriage awaits, my lady,” he says sarcastically, smirking down at her,and Rey manages a feeble smile back, even though she’s obviously been crying.

Thisis where you lose her, his brain whispers. This is what you did.

“Thanks, Ben.” Rey doesn’t turn to look at Poe whilewalking to Ben’s car.

Ben does turn around, and the look on his face isthunderous. “Leave her alone,” is what Poe thinks he mouths at him.

He stands and watches another man – one that beforetoday he was entirely convinced was more of an asshole than he was – walk awaywith the woman he loves, watches as he opens her door, and waits for her to sitbefore closing it carefully. Ben Solo glares at him one more time beforewalking to his own door. Poe stares at the car as it drives away, and his eyesare trained on the corner it turns for minutes after it leaves his sight.

***

Poe waits until he can’t anymore; so, he waits aboutthree hours. He goes to the apartment Rey shares with Finn and Rose, and hebuzzes the intercom, hand shaking. Bee whines anxiously at his feet, reallyearning his keep as therapy dog today.

“Hello?” It’s Rose. God, he’d been wishing for Finn.

“Hey, Rose,” he says, thumping his head onto the brickwall. “It’s Poe.”

“You got some real fuckin’ nerve coming here,Dameron,” Rose snaps through the buzzer. “I thought I told you to stay the fuckaway.”

“Yeah, yeah you did,” he laughs feebly, rememberingthe vitriolic text he’d gotten the day he and Rey broke up. “Rose, please,please can you tell me if Rey’s okay?”

“Why wouldn’t she be okay?” Rose sounds furious –defensive. “The only person she’s ever slept with shat all over her, didn’ttalk to her for three weeks, and now he’s rubbing his hot new girlfriend in herface. That’s a general recipe for okay-ness, isn’t it?”

Fuck. This again. “That wasn’t my girlfriend,” Poeinsists. This is not the best use of his time, but he can’t help it. He slaps ahand against the wall, feeling it scrape his palm. The pain helps a little bit.“She’s an old buddy from the service. Married to another buddy. But fuck, Rose,I could stand here and say I’m sorry until I’m dead, which I’m more thanwilling to do, but could you please tell me if she’s home safe?”

“Why wouldn’t I be home safe?” Rey Niima’s soft,musical voice comes from a foot behind him. Poe releases the intercom button onsheer reflex and turns to stare at her standing in the doorway to her complex.

Now that she’s not dressed for school or wearingmakeup, he can see just how not-okayRey’s been. There are massive circles under her eyes, and she looks thinnerthan she had a month ago. And she’s – fuck, she’s wearing his Academy sweatshirt,the one he’d lent to her months ago, the one he could have sworn he had lost.Rey’s wearing his old sweatshirt, and she’s swimming in it, her thin armswrapped around her like she’s afraid her organs will fall out with theslightest provocation. Poe’s familiar with the feeling.

“Hey, Sun—” he stops halfway through the nickname whenhe sees her wince. “Hi, Rey.”

“Why are you here?” I was torturing myself with the idea of you on a date with Ben Solo, soI showed up to make sure he wasn’t being a creep because I still desperatelylove you even though I’m a useless asshole, also please find it in yourinfinitely perfect heart to forgive me, and just let me sit at your feet whileyou yell at me, that will be enough, anything you give me will be enough, justplease give me something, anything, I’m drowning without you

“I just wanted to make sure you got home okay,” iswhat he goes with.

“Well, considering I fixed Ben’s car myself, I wouldn’texactly worry about its mechanical integrity.” Rey looks at him coolly.“Anyway, I came down because I was tired of Rose screaming at our buzzer. I’mhere. What do you actually want to talk about?” Bee snuffles towards hereagerly, and bumps up against her knee. Rey smiles at him fondly, but theexpression is gone by the time she looks back up at him.

“I miss you,” Poe tells her. It’s still raining, andhe tries not to focus too much on the percussive waves of precipitation as theyslam down outside this small bubble they’ve created on her front step.

“Don’t,” Rey says warningly. “Just, don’t. Don’t dothis, Poe. Don’t make yourself feel bad because you saw me upset. I don’t needyou to miss me. That doesn’t help.” Her voice cracks on the last word, and hehates himself.

“I can’t stand the fact that I hurt you.” He squeezeshis eyes shut briefly. “I can’t stand the fact that I’m the one who’s makingyou upset. Rey, I was just trying to – to – I don’t even know. I was in a badplace and I said things I really didn’t mean. I’m sorry, and I miss you.” And I love you.

“You don’t have to do this, Poe. I’ll be fine.” Reysays dismissively, and she turns to walk back into the building.

“I don’t want you to be fine,” Poe snaps, angry athimself, the situation, not her. She stops and briefly curls in on herself athis tone, but then she sets her jaw and turns to face him. She stands upstraighter, eyes sparking, but Poe needs to finish. “I don’t want you to justbe fine. I want you to be happy, Iwant you to be loved, I want you to not hate me. I want to make up for howbadly I hurt you.”

“Fuck you,” Rey’s hands are clenched in fists now.“Fuck you, Poe. I am doing my best over here. I am doing my best to give youspace, like you wanted. I am doing my best to get over you. And I can do it.Don’t worry about me. I can shove how I feel about you into a tiny, little boxand cram it down with all the other shitty things in my life. You think youhurt me? You think that you hurting my feelings, that you not wanting me is thestraw that’s going to break the camel’s back?”

Rey yanks the sweatshirt off aggressively, angrily,and throws it at him. He catches it, startled, and stares at her, while herentire body heaves with the beginning of a sob, wearing a thin t-shirt. “Do youknow what these are, Major Dameron?” She points at the dozen or so scarslittered across her arm. “These are cigarette burns. My foster father used meas a fucking ashtray when I pissed him off. And me breathing pissed him off, soyou can imagine how often that happened. Do you know that one time I dropped a tool into a car and broke a valve, and he beat meso badly that I lost consciousness? That he broke four of my ribs stomping onme while I lay there?”

Poe wants to throw up, but she isn’t done. Not closeto being done. “When I was lying in the hospital bed, all I could do was laugh.Because there was finally enough evidence to emancipate myself. I took off,bought the bus ticket that got me the farthest with what I could afford, and Ifinished high school here in Raleigh while working to support myself. And whydid I end up with Unkar Plutt?” Poe, frozen as he is by this confession, stillcatalogues the name, the name of a man he knows he wants to see dead.

“It’s because my father and mother didn’t want me.They left me for fucking dead outside a fire station, in 100 degree weather. I foundthem, you know. I found them two years ago. Wasn’t that hard, not many ‘Rey’s’born in Arizona in 1994. I figured I’d confront them, you know, get to thebottom of why they didn’t want me. Maybe one of them was sick? Maybe it wasdrugs? Maybe they’d been in a car accident?” Rey laughs, hysterically, and Poewants to hold her, wants to tuck her into him, to enfold her into himself so hecan bear the brunt of anything else the universe tries to hurt her with, but hedoubts she wants him to touch her. Not when he’s a part of the list of thingsthat have hurt her. “No. They were fine. I imagine they were having sometrouble back in ‘95, but they’re fine. They own a house, have two kids, a dogeven. Fuck. I flew out there to talk to them, but I got as far as the gatebefore I turned around.” Rey’s getting to the end, and she holds a hand to herchest while she gasps for air.

“I ended up with Plutt because my parents weren’tready for children, or because they weren’t ready for me, or because likeeveryone else they took one fucking look at me and knew I wasn’t what theywanted. I ended up with Plutt because the best man I’ve ever known, Ben Kenobi,died and I wasn’t able to help him. He died in front of me, on my birthday, andall I could do was watch, because everyone who’s ever left me has been right.I’m not worth sticking around for. So no, I don’t hate you Poe. How I feelabout you couldn’t be further from hate. You stuck around longer than mostpeople do. I can’t blame you for finally realizing what everyone else seems to justknow.”

Rey bursts into tears, and when Poe reaches out for her,she waves him away. She sits heavily in the corner of the atrium, and sobsuncontrollably, hands covering her face. Poe kneels in front of her, andswallows.

“It’s all bullshit,” he whispers to her, hoping he canhear him over her sobs. “All of it. The people who hurt you – they did thosethings because they were fucking awful people. It had nothing to do with you.Like, when I hurt you. It had nothing to do with you, Rey. Fuck, I’m crazyabout you. You’re all I can think about, even now, even when I’ve fuckedeverything up, and I know I’ve lost you forever. I panicked is all, and I’d hada really shitty week, and I could barely tie my fucking shoes; I wasn’tfunctional and my brain hurt all the time. I said shit I didn’t mean because Iwas fucking lost in my own head, and I didn’t want you around that. I didn’t want to drag you downinto my shit. But I did anyway because I wasn’t thinking. Christ, Rey, pleaselook at me. Please.”

Rey sniffles and wipes her hands down her face. Shelooks at him, blinking away tears, and he wishes he was allowed to kiss themaway. He needs to touch her, but she hasn’t given him permission, and sheprobably never will again. “Rey, sweetheart, I didn’t want to break up withyou. I didn’t. I have been in physical pain for three weeks over it, but Iconvinced myself it was what you wanted, what was better for you. I would neverwillingly leave you. I didn’t mean to.” 

“I don’t know if I can believe you,” she says shakily.Her hands come to her lap, weaving together tightly.

“Then let me prove it to you. Please, let me prove toyou that I never want to leave you again. Please.” Poe’s begging, shamelessly,but he doesn’t give a shit about dignity. Rey’s the only thing that matters.“It was a mistake and I know I can never fix this, but I want to try. I need to try to fix this. Please give me a chance, Rey. I’ll do anything, anything you want, just pleaseat least talk to me again.”

“Okay,” Rey whispers, staring at her locked fingers.

Poe ducks slightly, trying to catch her eyes. “Whatwas that?”

“Okay, I’ll give you another chance,” Rey says itlouder this time.

“Really?” Poe laughs, exhausted, thrilled. “You’dreally do that?”

“Take me on a date, Major Dameron.” It’s an order, onethat he can’t wait to follow.

“Yes, of course, definitely, yes – uh, do you want togo now? We could – “ Rey laughs tearfully.

“Not right this second, Poe.” She stands and hewatches her rise, mesmerized as always. “I need to shower, and eat dinner, andprobably explain to a very short, very angry woman why I did the one thing shetold me not to do.”

“Rose really hates me now, huh?” It’s no less than hedeserves.

“She doesn’t hate you. She just got tired of hearingme cry through the wall for the last twenty days.” Rey shrugs, and Poe rises to his feet unconsciously.

“Baby,” he says, heartbroken.

“No,” Rey shakes her head. “No, don’t apologize. Let’sjust – let’s just agree to talk more? About shit that we’re going through? Ican’t go through another three weeks like this, Poe. I won’t be able to takeit.”

“Never,” Poe promises. “I will never leave you again.I’m so sorry that I left you.”

“You did leave, yeah. But you came back,” Rey says,half-smiling. “No one ever has before.”

“Sweetheart,” Poe swallows. “I know it’s up to you,but you gotta know. I might actually die if I can’t hold you right now.” Reysteps closer to him, and he opens his arms to her. Rey slots herself into thespace he’s made, slips right back in like she never left, and Poe buries hisface in her neck, breathing, finally breathing, for the first time in threeweeks.

“I’m never going to leave you again,” he swears.“Never, sweetheart.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Poe,” Rey scoldshim, but she sounds lighter.

Poe knows. He knows he’ll die before breaking thispromise. He’ll never leave her again.

#damerey #jedipilot #may the froth be with you #ask #angst prompt #deleted scene from old fic #fic #writing #one shot #tw: abuse #tw: mental health #tw: hospitalization

[photonconductor]

i dont have an ao3 but shout out to my homeboys

once upon there was a gay on th e moon bc of a really lovng alternate au idea where elc turened BAD and klaus had a 1000 year nap and it'd take too long to fucking explain this so just roll with it ok. this gay--its elcrest btw hes also a Bad Boy now; he rly likes hot topic and thinks those t shirts with sarcastic sayings are actually rly funny but we all know they aren't--was feleing emo bc he couldn't see his bf xen o bc he betrayed him. so he stayed in his room whining abt how fgay he was until eve showed up

"hey whats wrong elc mother is here for u" even tho shes like 5000 years old and looks like shes 2 and also a rock (but im not rockist guys i promise). elc looked at her with his optics shining in the pale argentate light. good thing hes the seme here bc otherwise he'd start crying. in reality he rly wanted to fucking bone xeno bc obviously they had a lot of gay sex b4 they tried to kkill his mom once nad staring at rocks all day kinda sucks.

a;so burnign alive but hes kind of over that phase.

"im sad my bf left me for 1000 years can i pls go back to earth my raging hard on can't be satisfied bc rocks. my dicks not a jack hammer even tho im jacking it all the time (thats what guys do right bitch i dont know)" eve was so offended she put her hands on her giant rock self thats not just herself. its rly fucking complicated shut up u came here for the gay sex not instructibles on how physical forms manifest.

"we dont say ROCKS in this household young man!!!!"

"ＢＵＴ ＭＯＯＯＭＭＭＭＭ sorry i forgot to turn off my seme voice lemme adjust my mic it happens when my dick is hard" elcrest coughed twice "ok sounds good, BUT MOM I RLY NEED TO NUT. YOU KNOW NUT I'M SAYING... ITS ALL OR NUTTING BUT MOSTLY NUTTING IN XENO'S SWEET HOT BUNS"

"stop talking abt nuts u disgusting boy fine, god, if u leave me alone u gaylord"

and then eve punched him so hard in the dick that elcrest landed on earth in a giatn crater. how hes still alive is bc he still had some continues left like in mario even though this is a srpg game. once elc recovered he struck a pose and laughed evilly while twirling his mustache.

"finally...... I have RETURNED for xeno's hot man breasts! the world cannot stop me now!!" he cackly cackkled and quickly ripped off the fake mustache he put on just for this one scene. then elc went on a quest to find where klaus was and bc the author is too lazy to write any tansitional scenes.

elc found him chilling in his bed reading a book that was called Sweets and You: Do sweets make u inherantly Gay? elcrest made the PFFT noise. ofc they make u gay, fuckiing idiot book. he could write better than that author. in fact, elcrest was gonna do that when he got home bc obviously if this trash is published any shit elc wrote would be good.

NO! he had to focus! but he couldnt stop staring at xenos man boobs and felt his dick get hard again. elc got a nose bleed too bc thats what happens in anime right. i played persona 4 i know what im about

"damn u xeno." elc said thru his nosebleed and klaus looked up bc the author cant fucking rmemeber who is klaus and who is xeno and was surprised i remmebred his name but could not remember remember the 5th of novemember

"what"

"XENO IT IS I" since h e was caught red handed he just kickflipped through the window anyway. he did a sick flip then stood in the middle of klauses room. klaus made a gay gaspp

"alto! what are u doing hre!?" klaus said, bc in this AU that was his codename. elc wanted to be currently doing that but eve said no. fuck his mom. except please dont bc i know you sick fucks are thinking abt it.

"I HAVE COME TO BRING YOU BACK TO THE GAY SIDE, XENO WE HAVE COOKIES. bc i really miss that bammin slammin bootilicious sex we used 2 have and you are in fact bammin slammin bootilicious. also have u heard the word and gospel of our savior mother" elc said gayly

"dude no please stop preaching in my house im a changed man now" xeno pirouetted out of bed

"cmon man im ur seme u cant refuse we made like a yaoi blood oath u cant go back on ur word" elc pushed him back on thebed bc he'd have his ass yet anyway so no real use getting up. bc what is consent anyway hes Bad

"o shit really huh" klaus paused in thougt and bad elc laughed evilly. his plan was working!! all he had 2 do was the final touches! i mean besides touching xenos dick or whatever we're not yet. sorry u have to suffer for ten more paragraphs for sweat boy on boy. elc then turned around an produced a kitty keyboard from the recesses of his coat tails. xeno made the :O face and elc sat down bc playing while standing rly fuckin g sucks

"i wrote this for u on the moon so you'll be hypnotized by my sick beats" then he pulled the mic out of the keyboard and made a sick beatbox noise. No i dont know what the fuck it sounds like just google it. klaus blushued and made another gay gasp and elc made the >:3 face

then be started to play the piano keyboard. he was playing cruel angel thesis, their theme song that they had decided at 1am while xeno was drunk af.  it was their theme song despite none of them speaking fucking japanese but they just felt it in their SOULS. it was rly gay. elc was going so fucking hARD that his hard on was getting 40 hard ons. and thats four tens the hard ons. and its rad.

except the ebst part was it was all in meows so it spoke 2 klaus' furry soul.

klaus nyaed softly in surprise and suddenly all his memories of being xneo were restored!!! he gave into the desire that he craved in his soul and opened his big man arms bc for some reaon everyone thinks dudes are thirsty af. dont ask me why

"elc1!1 pls take me!! but be gentle my ass hasnt been ravaged in 1000 years (sick reference to hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort like, comment, subscribe for more sick referneces like this one)" xeno mewled like afucking furry and elc nodded once. xeno walked up to elc an touched his man boob sensually even tho xeno is like 60 feet taller than elc just imagine it ok

elc now has sunglasses just bc i think its a funny image

"xeno...... lets do it" elc said softly

"o h elc senpai......." xeno meowed

"and i'll keep my sunglasses on bc i hate the sun #moonlifeforever" and xeno gayzed into his emotion shields sensuallyier. then elc kissed him passionately and their tongues battled for dominance but we all know klaus is a fucking bottom bitch as stated in hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort paragraph 17 and 18 bc it was a dialogue.

then elc ripped off his clothes bc hes fucking JACKED and jACKED OFF and xeno gay gasped forlike the third time in this fic. elc was fuckign shredded. legends told of his abs but this time it was real. almost like the fact that shaved ice flavors dont actually exists the syrup is just food coloring.  his dong dangled in the breeze and xeno was turned tf on so he took off his clothes too bc hes not a god damn animal god whats wrong with u elc.

except elc didnt take off the sunglasses like he promised so those were still on dont worry readers i got you covered.

"get on ur knees dude and give me a wet willy but like on my dick" elc demanded

"wtf no"

"dude u cant say no its a smutfic"

"ok yeah i guess i kinda do like sucking dick or somethign"

"PREPARE TO EAT YOUR LAST DICK, XENO" elc cackcled and then xeno succed his dick like no tomorrow. elc practically creamed right there bc he couldnt get his rocks off on the moon for 1000 years (hahaha no im not gonna stop makign rock jokes). also xeno has no gagreflex bc he succed dick like a thousand times. once that was over elc just punched his dick in xenos hot cross buns and xeno meowed again

"why are u still a furry after 1000 years" elc asked but continued to Ravage The Promised Ass

"do u nyat like it erucu-kun???" xeno purred and elc shook his head

"no ur still banging its ok"

NUT THEN (i wanted to write but but i typoed and decided to keep it its funnier this way) xenos ass started 2 glow with a new holy light

"WHAT tHE FUCK" elc yelled

"my ass was actually the only way we could turn u good again! the more u fuck me the gooder u are!" and elc gasped gayily! no! his plan was working against him! he could alredy feel the goodness (haha get it bc fucking is hot i guess) turning him good! he had 2 pull out but found he couldnt. xeno was just too bammin slammin bootlicious

"HOW DARE YOU TRICK, I, ELCREST THE CONDICKTOR" he roared and xeno was tuned on again bc roaring is prolly a furry thign im not a furry im sorry

"it was for ur own good elc bc i love you!" xeno dokied so hard there were shoujo sparkles and even elc got shoujo sparkles. his azure optics glew like stella glow and u could almost see constellations in them. except there were sunglasses so u couldnt actually see it but the reader can. xneo was right. he was his tru  love..... not the Mother..... his mom was lame anyway all she did was talk to rocks

"xeno.............." elc said wiwstfully before bangin xeno harder. their bangin was so intense everyone could hear it in the kngihts barraks. it was so loud that even ana in her coma woke up for like a second to be like The Gays are At It Again. soon enough the banging was sucessful. elc glew in a beautiful magical girl ligtht and he was become good again. xeno shed a single tear but licked it away

"im cured! xeno ur ass did it! plus that was hot" elc smiled and im pretty sure xeno cried bc look at that man. hes so beautiful. please take the $2 from my purse. they embraced in a gay way. it was cute and xeno did a thumbs up and ana's face appeared at 20% opacity in the bg and she was also winking

"elc i am so glad u are back and i love u" then they made out. for a rly long time too bc theyre so fucking GAY good lord how could stella glow keep this under wraps. then they decidd they had to punch eve in the rock bc she was a dickw hile elc was being emo and stuff. BUT FIRST, xeno got porked lke 80 more times b4 then bc 1000 years does a lot do u.

the end remember to like, comment, subscribe for more fics like this one, seeya

#choo choo motherfucker #im sorry