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#phd tag
howlsmovinglibrary · 30 days
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just submitted my final draft of my thesis (all 98k words, 220 pages, 582 citations, and the nearly two pages of Critical Role episodes in the bibliography) to my supervisors 😭😭😭 now i'm free for the next month 😭😭😭
(she said, ignoring marking, and publishing deadlines)
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groovebunker · 5 months
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everyone will be glad to know i haven't been kicked out of grad school (which is my number one fear every time i have to call my supervisors) and am in fact feeling almost positive about my phd. i am now debating what little treat i deserve for surviving this week. maybe i will dye my hair a fun colour.
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impolitecanadian · 8 months
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PhD stands for Poor horrible (life) Decision
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sitdwnandstudy · 6 days
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spent 10 mins reading about filing "expat taxes" and now i need a treat and a nap lmao
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sketching-in-the-rain · 5 months
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ughgghgnghnnn I got the email with my official grad school advisor and I can't look at it because I need to finish this paper without getting derailed!!
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theflirtmeister · 2 years
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Hello beloved tumblr friends, what are your favourite fiction-within-fiction pieces of media? IE the characters in Fangirl writing fic for the Simon Snow novels, or the Imperial Affliction book that they’re obsessed with in The Fault In Our Stars.
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versary · 2 months
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i'm trying to be really proactive in my PhD meetings this year - last year i just showed up. this year i pushed for them to not be on friday afternoon (murderous for everyone involved) so they're on wednesdays now and i go in with an agenda - the work i've done in the previous fortnight + questions i have about it + what i plan to do next. they've tried to get me away from pen and paper notes for years but i just can't do it - i won't retain anything unless i physically write it down - so after the meeting i put a recap up in the teams channel. it's working so far and i'm feeling much more positive about the PhD in general now (last year i was pissed off at my supervisors because i felt like they had a bit of an out of sight, out of mind issue when it came to me so esp. with the recap i can point to something and say, look this is exactly what we decided last month, so hopefully we won't have those problems again). the other thing that's working for me this year is i have once again accepted that i can't work on multiple jobs simultaneously, i can pretty much only do one thing at a time, so it's better for me to do ALL the analysis that i need, and then ALL the writing, rather than trying to do them both and getting frustrated and ultimately not working on anything. trying to work with myself rather than against myself &c. 👍
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volchiitza · 8 months
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clearly trying to stop fixating on "productivity" has actually improved my focus
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beebfreeb · 2 months
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One of the most heart-wrenching things that've ever happened to me occurred while trying to research the Super Paper Mario art style.
"Ohh what a beautiful and interesting art style! It is very distinctive! I wonder if anyone else has tried or wanted to try breaking it down and replicating it?" Obliviously, I typed in Super Paper Mario Art Style into my search bar... only to find many people calling it ugly and saying they hate it.
This simply could not be... permanent damage was done to my artistic soul.
No joy? No whimsy in this world? No love of early computer graphics? Of the art that was born from the computer and is difficult to replicate without one? Of the art made when this was something new and fascinating? No love for something unique?
Super Paper Mario don't listen to all those haters I love your geometric art style influenced by what shapes are easily drawn on a computer and the smooth mechanical interpolation within your animations. I love you. Also the music is banger.
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howlsmovinglibrary · 1 month
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wrote the first line of my thesis conclusion and immediately started crying. I guess it's just going to be one of those days :')
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groovebunker · 4 months
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doing this again:
it's a phd day so if you see me on here again before 5pm gmt you simply must yell at me or send gentle curses so that i can progress on this chapter.
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impolitecanadian · 2 months
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whose idea was it for me to do a phd? surely not mine.
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thoodleoo · 1 year
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me seeing the most pathetic, saddest, wettest man you could ever imagine: wow. i'm going to write a thesis about him
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programming is so awful when it doesn't work but it's SO exciting when it does
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aroacehanzawa · 1 year
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On Dazai, his heartrate, The Book, BEAST, and metanarratives (or: how we may or may not already know how it all ends)
Have you noticed that in the opening of season 4, Dazai is the only one who is shown to mouth along to the lyrics? Specifically, he mouths along to the last part of the line that goes something along the lines of "The context in which my soul beats, turn it into a heartbeat" (魂が打つ文脈、鼓動に変えてしまえよ (source)).
This is interesting, because as Ango established in episode 11, Dazai has been communicating with the outside world by adjusting his heartrate to encode deciphered messages. And i hate this plot point with a passion, hated it when it came up in the manga and still hate it after the latest episode, so i will cope by doing the following in this 3k word essay (which i wrote in about 5 hours on the day i have an actual real-world deadline):
Trying to figure out 1) what this skill of Dazai implies about his character and role in the overall story, and 2) how this implication is supported by the lyrics of the opening theme, "True Story" by SCREEN MODE, and 3) how this opening suggests a more intricate connection between BEAST and the main timeline, and 4) what all of this means for the current arc, the overall story, and the author(s).
I. The heartrate gimmick
The reason why i'm so put off by Dazai's superhuman ability to control his own heartrate is that this is the first time in the series where something significantly breaches the realm of plausibility which has so far been established in the universe of bsd. However, that in itself means that it may be a hint to a much bigger picture.
To start with, we've seen that human biology in bsd verse still follows the rules of our own world, and any anomalies can typically be explained by abilities, such as Kenji's superstrength. The same goes for non-human anomalies: instead of outright breaking the laws of known science, they are either some kind of manifestation of abilities or otherwise derived from abilities, such as skill weapons (like Well's time-manipulating camera, or Fukuchi's space-time sword. The plot of Fifteen and Stormbringer, even.)
Even Dazai and Fyodor's galaxy brain moments generally fall into the realm of possibility, like Fyodor memorising all the cards in Ace's deck based on their scratch marks, or Dazai predicting Sigma's rock-paper-scissors moves with Sherlock Holmes-esque deduction skills. (Dazai and Fyodor communicating in code based on their past conversations is something more unbelievable, so for now i'm putting that in the same category of unexplainable as Dazai's heartrate trick.)
The thing that bothers me is this: Ango says that Dazai's heartbeat trick is something only he can do, but it clearly doesn't fall in the realm of biologically possible as we know it (controlling heartrate to some extent maybe, but being able to encode complex messages like that?). We also already know Dazai's ability, so it can't be related to that. (Or do we? Dazai's ability in itself is a paradox, a non-ability, and that arguably places him outside the circle of typical ability-users.)
Now, when it comes to things that have gone beyond the general level of plausibility in bsd, it could be said that they are all somehow related to The Book: the reality-altering that took place when the ADA got framed, Sigma's existence and the Sky Casino, and BEAST. The island on which Yosano was stationed is possibly also related to The Book, as it apparently came out of nowhere and is surrounded by its own anomalous properties.
If so far all the discrepancies between our own world and the world of bsd can be traced to either abilities or The Book (even historical differences are caused by the overall existence of abilities), we can extrapolate that any unexplained phenomena can likewise be traced to one or the other. We know Dazai's ability, but that alone doesn't seem enough to explain Dazai, which leaves us with The Book.
I'm far from the first one to suggest that Dazai is somehow connected to The Book, and others have written some excellent theories about it, so i'll move on to my next point: the lyrics to the opening theme "True Story":
II. What exactly is the true story?
When i listed the known (or at least most significant, because i can't remember more) cases connected to The Book above, they are all significant plot points in season 4, except for BEAST. However, that may not be as obvious if we have a look at the lyrics of the opening theme.
I wont go into too much detail because i don't know any Japanese (i'm just referring to google translate as well as this fan translation of the lyrics) so if someone who knows the language decides to continue this analysis that would be amazing!
The first notable line is this: 何者でもない 白紙だった僕に 刻まれていくMy True Story ("To a blank page that wasn't anyone, my true story is etched" or "My true story is engraved on me, who was nothing but a blank page"). Here, the speaker is likened to a page of the book, something initially empty but given a purpose through the telling of a story. The reference to a blank page unmistakably reminds us of the page from The Book, that has played such a significant role all throughout this season.
I'm not going in order, so the next notable line i want to point out is: 魂が打つ文脈、鼓動に変えてしまえよ ("My soul reflects the context, turn it into a pulse" or "The context in which the soul beats, turn it into a heartbeat"). There is the clear mention of a heartbeat, and this is the line which we can see Dazai mouth along to in the opening, so let's continue by assuming that Dazai is the speaker in these lyrics.
While the song as a whole is very metaphorical and can be applied to a large part of the cast, it becomes more interesting for the purpose of this analysis if we take a more literal perspective, whilst simultaneously assuming that these are Dazai's thoughts.
Idk how to say this in a less convoluted way but: if Dazai's very existence, that is to say including his soul, is anomalous itself, then the superhuman manipulation of his heartrate could just be considered as one application of his existence. Or rather, of the context of his existence: something anomalous beyond abilities.
The mention of "context" is also interesting as something inherently tied to a story and storytelling. So far we have a page, a book, and a story, and they all point towards Dazai. Let's then assume that Dazai is indeed the speaker to whom the "blank page who wasn't anyone" is likened to, whether figuratively or literally.
The next line I want to bring your attention to is: 傍(かたわら)にいる 誰かを救うため 刻みこんでいくMy True Story ("To save someone who's by my side, I engrave (it into) my true story"). And this is where i'm going to bring up BEAST, a concrete example where Dazai has specifically succeeded in saving Oda by writing the plot of BEAST into existence in The Book or one of its pages.
If we then connect this line to the previous one with "my true story", we can say something like: Dazai saved someone important to him by writing his story onto a blank page not unlike himself.
In fact, he says so himself: 何者にも委ねないで 書き残せ自分自身で / ……書けるさ、魂を (Don't trust/entrust yourself to anyone, write it down yourself, write it down with your soul/write down your soul.") Here we get an implicit connection between writing down something, and doing so with one's soul, arguably with Dazai's existence (or writing down one's soul/being into existence, depending on what's the accurate translation).
Given the theme of The Book, we can't help but connect the act of writing to the act of reality-altering. Therefore, if we consider that Dazai writes i.e. reality-alters by either writing down his soul or by engraving a story into his soul, something akin to a blank page, we arrive at the conclusion that he is himself a reality-altering page like one in The Book.
The whole thing turns in on itself: Dazai does something external to affect the outside world, but that something is directed at himself. This circular or paradoxical nature is reminiscent of his own ability, which instead of manifesting outwardly like other abilities, is something that negates the outside, reverses an existence into an inexistence, even turns his own ability into a lack of one.
Now, an especially interesting line is this one: この命こそが文章-sentence-だ ("This life is the sentence") because the word "sentence" is intentionally sung in English, retaining its dual meaning of "a formally pronounced punishment" and "a cluster of words usually containing subject and verb".
For the first definition, there is obviously the prison sentence Dazai is currently iin, but you could also say that he considers his life a similar burden. For the second definition, does he mean his whole life has been written into existence in one sentence (knowing that it's possible to write a human into existence, if we take Fyodor's word for it when it comes to Sigma), or would it be more correct to assume that by "life" he means his and everyone else's life in the present timeline? Combining both definitions, we could even say that his life is a burden or an inescapable prison precisely on account of it having been brought into existence as a story.
Like i said, the "Dazai is the Book" idea is nothing new, but interpreting the lyrics in this way offers some interesting support to the theory, and will lead into what I want to say in the next part, which is how BEAST relates to all of this.
III. The role of BEAST
The refrain with which the song opens and is repeated several times is: 未(ま)だ語られない 物語の先へ 踏み出して征(ゆ)くのが勇気だ ("I still can't speak of the story ahead, it takes courage to take a step/to step forward and conquer"). This can be taken as apprehension towards the future, but there's something about the song that also makes it sound like Dazai already knows what's ahead, he just doesn't have the courage to say it.
Specifically, it's this line here: 出来過ぎた結末が 用意されてたって ("Even if the too perfect ending was prepared for me"). The lines following it are rather difficult to interpret through mediocre translations, but there's something about not being able to abandon ("it"? what? something or someone? "those who give up"?). We could continue with the interpretation that Dazai knows something about the future, about his ending, but there's actually another approach we can take.
I'm just spitballing here, but what was a more perfect ending for Dazai (whether prepared for him by an outside force or achieved with his own hand) than the one in which Oda lives and writes a book, and in which he himself gets the sweet release of death? Yet there's something he can't abandon - those around him, or life itself, or his own self that gave up.
I've heard the "main timeline is a prequel for BEAST" theory before and others may have also proposed what i'm going to say next, but i'll say it anyway: BEAST is the prequel to the main timeline. (Or better yet, it's both, with some variation. But that's too convoluted for now.)
The line that i mentioned before about "saving someone who's by your side" might hold the key to this idea, depending on how accurate the translation is and how we interpret it. It depends on if being "beside someone" is meant as like being with "someone important" or more like literally being next to someone, even being with them in life. Because as much as Dazai found the ending of BEAST as perfect as it could get, it is still not the same as being able to stand next to Oda in every sense of the word - at the same place, at the same time, in life, as friends, as equals.
Then there is this line: 自問自答を繰り返して 撰(えら)べ 本当はどう生きたいのか / 本性が知る解釈、根拠はそこにあるだろ (Unavoidable decisions, even if they are arranged, am I just a dull existence if I just accept them") where Dazai shows reluctance to accept something predetermined, "unavoidable decisions" such as those that would lead to either Oda or Dazai surviving but not both. There is also the implication of things being arranged by an outside force, so if we go with this assumption then the previously mentioned "perfect ending" could also be said to have been prepared for Dazai by this outsider, even if he presumably arranged it himself as he says.
And this is where we delve into the truly meta part of this analysis.
IV. The role of Dazai
First, I'm going to go back to the part where Dazai is shown to mouth along to the lyrics in the opening sequence. He is the only character to do so, effectively breaking the fourth wall by engaging with an anime opening theme, singing along to the line specifically mentioning a heartbeat, and saying out loud the lyrics that would otherwise be considered only as inner thoughts (like with character songs etc).
This is not the first time Dazai has shown to take on a role precariously close to directing the narrative. He does this explicitly in BEAST, whose universe exists because of his own meddling with reality. In the main timeline, his predictions and strategising border on the omniscient and almighty.
There is one significant line towards the end of True Story that is worth examining now: 今語る言葉 物語を創る ("The words I speak now create the story"). This line could mean that Dazai is currently crafting the story to save that someone, to create the life he wants to live etc etc everything that the song is about. But it could also be related to him specifically singing this song, the opening theme of Bungou Stray Dogs Season 4, and laying out the story that will take place this season.
All of these things add up if he truly is an existence beyond ordinary humans or abilities, like something intricately connected to The Book. That is because there is at least one more existence that's found these things - namely, the author.
With that in mind, if Dazai knows that the endings (of BEAST and/or of the main timeline) have been prepared for him by someone else such as the author, that could be the reason why he says the line "Don't trust anyone, write it down yourself" etc. To be precise, that could mean that Dazai acts as the "author" of the current arc in defiance of the true author (and the lyrics contain a lot about "truth" that i haven't touched upon at all).
But what does that mean in the long run? Is Dazai the author? Is Kafka Asagiri the final villain? Who is the mastermind? Idk, this is already the furthest my brain has gotten for now.
I do want to quickly mention an interesting discussion i saw recently about how the different instalments of bsd all have separate protagonists, who are not Dazai - yet Dazai remains this central character in all of them, somehow deeply rooted to the narrative yet standing at a distance from it. And that may be precisely due to his nature of being more than just a "character" of bsd as we know them.
So, to put together allllll of these different points and make sense of what i've been trying to say:
The existence of Dazai's character and abilities must be explained by something adjacent to The Book, or something even beyond the in-universe explanations.
Dazai is able to alter reality, either in his own right or with help from The Book (which may itself be connected to him) but the alterations he makes may have been compelled by a greater force.
In the event that BEAST acts as a prequel to the main timeline, Dazai's dissatisfaction with the pre-determined ending (and distrust of others) leads him to write his own story, in order to save someone important to him (Oda, if we take the word "someone" at face value, or it could be something more abstract like the value of his own life).
This act of writing with/into his soul relates to the reality-altering aspects of writing into The Book or its pages, so the entire main timeline can be considered as originating from words on paper following the events of BEAST.
Dazai goes from protagonist to author (which also explains his Godzai moments) but this very act pushes him outside of the story, thereby alienating himself from the circle of characters. Effectively, he has taken on all three roles of Reader, Writer, and Protagonist.
Then, how about the "we may or may not already know how it all ends" that i alluded to in the title of this post? Easy: it ends when Asagiri stops writing.
Sorry i couldn't keep out the Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint brainrot at the end there. But if you know what i'm talking about then you get it.
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sexy-sapphic-sorcerer · 2 months
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I just need to inform you nerds about absolute madlad academic Joseph Brennan
most notably, he wrote a paper about a queer reading of Mordred in BBC Merlin which heavily cites his own (poorly photoshopped) pornographic slash manips
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but he also edited a whole book about queerbaiting, including chapters about: Supernatural, Xena Warrior Princess, One Direction RPF, Supergirl, and the fucking Johnlock Conspiracy
all the rest of his work is about gay porn
I fucking love academia
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