#people would see the fun in collage :) and not just what they did in elementary school

[werebutch]

Anyone can make a zine btw most of mine are made from literal trash. I have a hoarding problem to be honest. I’ve had a lot of those scraps for years and years. Even those illustrations were trash - I found that book in an old house. Firm believer in people making zines and collages out of what they have. Start with a small space, like post it note size. I find that the smaller the space the more fun trying to fit everything together. It’s like a puzzle, and everyone has their own unique collage style. Find yours. I would love to see it :’)

#for me collage is one of the most rewarding hobbies I have.. again it’s like a puzzle. I love holding physical art #it’s so tedious at times but it’s soooo fun and so accessible. like I said I do it all the time with trash lol #yours doesn’t have to have a deep meaning you could literally just put things that are the same color together #ITS SO FUN GUYS. it’s like sorting. I love sorting.. #I just say all this stuff cause I really often see people be like woww I wish I could make a zine. and I guess they just don’t think they #have all the stuff they need or the creativity or whatever. except you literally always do with this kind of thing.. so idk.. I wish more #people would see the fun in collage :) and not just what they did in elementary school #howling.txt

[full---ofstarlight]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals!

Thank you for the tag @n7viper <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yes! I am named after my great-grandmother who was an incredible woman I never met because she died nine months before I was born (spooky). Anyway, her husband fought Italian fascists in Montenegro during WW2 and everyone knew not to fuck with her. She was captured while pregnant and gave birth to her third son in prison and the Italians wanted to force her to give him an Italian name but she was like absolutely not and named him what roughly translates to "Free Man". I can only aspire to be half as badass as this woman.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cannot remember because I have a hard time crying for myself and usually only when I watch movies or shows lmao. I was on the verge of tears at work the other day bc a lot of dumb shit was happening and i was also EXHAUSTED

3. Do you have kids?

nope.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

not as much as i once did

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

how they carry themselves, their energy -- I know thats vague

6. What’s your eye color?

Brown.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy ending always and forever <3

8. Any special talents?

i learned while moving that im really good at making things fit in boxes lmao does that count

9. Where were you born?

a hospital

10. What are your hobbies?

writing! playing video games! reading! sometimes i draw and its not good! i like making collages and miniatures and i am not good at those things but it is fun!

11. Have you any pets?

i have a cat named bagel

12. What sports do you play/have played?

i swam all through elementary/middle school/ and most of high school. i was pretty good in my state at age 12.

13. How tall are you?

5'4

14. Favorite subject in school?

english

15. Dream job?

darling i do not dream of labor. jk i would love to be an actual published author one day and be able to survive just on that income but i know thats a pipe dream so we will see.

No pressure (srsly no pressure at all) tags to @maryxoliver @rowingtherubicon @theladysarmor @kelofmindelan @infamousbeans @mattressdemon @punk @birbycakes @gwaindrifter @cynda-queer @seasonalfallacies @criffyzou @time-traveling-machine @subdee @nochturnes

#tama tags #:)

[loveofcharacters]

Savannah Reed

Savannah Reed had been incredibly independent from a young age. She grew up with distant workaholics for parents, an older brother who was in high school by the time she was seven and a nanny who cared more for her paycheque than her wellbeing. From an outsider’s perspective, anyone would see a child shouldn’t have to take care of themselves, though Savannah never saw it any differently. Having responsibilities was something she’d grown up learning, she thought every kid had to take care of themselves. She didn’t realize her home life was different until she was in elementary school. She asked her nanny, why the other’s kids mothers or fathers would prepare their lunches. The nanny lead her to believe that she would be a better adult if she carried these responsibilities at a younger age. As a kid, Savannah, of course, didn’t mind hearing that she would do better. Growing up with that mentality, she was a brat to be around as a kid. She enjoyed being responsible, but sometimes it wasn't fun, thankfully her brother would always help her if she asked him, though she always felt a little shameful needing to ask for help.

As a kid basically living on her own, she didn’t know her parent’s sour money situation. Why would she, she was just a kid. They fought so hard, to keep everything afloat, when they lost everything to the bank, they couldn’t deal with the shame. Their biggest mistake was not asking for help. A characteristic she also grew up learning. Savannah was twelve years old when her parents dropped her off at ‘an aunt’s house’ in the middle of the day. It was confusing and obviously after a ton of questions, she learned that this woman, wasn’t her aunt. She had a house full of teenagers of different ages and races with zero relation to her family. The confused and scared twelve-year-old called her brother. He was quick to come to get her from his university which was three hours away. It wasn't until Wesley picked her up did she learn her parents dropped her off at a foster home.

Savannah liked with her older brother and his fraternity for an entire semester. It was like living with ten older brothers instead of just two, despite Savannah never having a good relationship with her brother Kieran. The girl attended an elementary school near by, and after summer vacation, Savannah and Wesley moved into an apartment that was close to campus and her school. She lived with her brother for almost almost 6 years. He was an incredible brother, doing everything a parent should do while having a full course load and baseball practice. Savannah always wondered how he ever did it. The day her brother landed in the hospital, answered her questions. She realized, just like herself and their parents. He was also not one to ask for help. From that day on, she knew she needed to help. The day she turned sixteen she worked a retail job with hopes to help her brother pay their rent. When she graduated high school, her brother had been working for a year and the two of them moved into a homier apartment further away from his old university campus.

Since starting her own job, and gaining a knowledge on money, something she always valued and saved for was closed. She was obsessed with fashion, would always create collages of outfits she'd curate for her favourite celebrities. She started her personal shopping business in high school with a couple friends. It involved going to the mall and choosing what her friends would wear. Then morphed into posting the curated outfits online, her own outfits online, she eventually gained a following, and then requests for people to style something for them. Now, she has her own company, where she and a couple other personal shoppers who take on clients either on a one time or re-occuring basis.

Savannah is open to all writing partners.

#;;details #details ; savannah reed #savannah reed ; trying to master these issues

[a-green-onion]

The He*archate vs Umberto Eco’s “Ur-Fascism”

ok it looks like I haven’t already done this, so! A lot of fictional Evil Empires use the visuals of fascism (iirc the Star Wars original trilogy did this), but not all of them follow through on making the Empire substantially fascist in ideology and practice. Machineries of Empire certainly has fascist visual components, with its regiments of black-shirted soldiers. Umberto Eco, a writer who grew up in Italy under Mussolini, wrote an essay about growing up under that regime and his ideas about key features of fascist and fascist-like movements (I’ll link it in a reblog, I don’t want Tumblr eating this post. I really recommend it, it’s very accessible and well-written). I want to see how much the he*archate correlates with these. It’s easy to get caught up in all the flashy space battles and gory exotic tortures, but YHL is very into military history, and that’s one reason his despotic regimes work so well--they’re taken from real life.

This is horribly incomplete because in my reread I’m only about halfway through Ninefox Gambit, but...I wanna Post.

An important note to start: Eco uses “fascism”, the name for Italian political movement, to refer to a variety of different totalitarian regimes and philosophies, because “fascism had no quintessence. Fascism was a fuzzy totalitarianism, a collage of different philosophical and political ideas, a beehive of contradictions.” Further, “Fascism became an all-purpose term because one can eliminate from a fascist regime one or more features, and it will still be recognizable as fascist.” Thus, the common characteristics he lists are not features of every fascist movement, and are often features of non-fascist repressive movements. The he*archate does not have all these features, but I think it makes sense to analyze it as a fascist empire.

Without further ado:

1. The cult of tradition, including syncretic occultism. “As a consequence, there can be no advancement of learning. Truth has been already spelled out once and for all, and we can only keep interpreting its obscure message” (Eco).

The he*archate does not do this. As I pointed out in an earlier post, there are no foundational religious beliefs behind the High Calendar. No holy texts, no prophets, just a way of life, a set of practices, and endless heresies.

2. Rejection of modernism. “Even though Nazism was proud of its industrial achievements, its praise of modernism was only the surface of an ideology based upon Blood and Earth (Blut und Boden)” (Eco).

I don’t think the he*archate does this? I might be forgetting something though, feel free to chime in.

3. Action for action’s sake. (Eco)

Kel Kel Kel Kel Kel.

4. Inability to tolerate analysis. “Disagreement is treason.” (Eco)

Yeah that’s precisely how the High Calendar functions.

5. “Ur-Fascism grows up and seeks for consensus by exploiting and exacerbating the natural fear of difference. The first appeal of a fascist or prematurely fascist movement is an appeal against the intruders.”

So, we don’t get to see much of the heptarchate in its earliest forms, and what we do see is in the third book, which I don’t remember super well. I think the he*archate does this, but it’s more obvious how in the context of Eco’s points 5 and 9.

6. “Derives from individual or social frustration” and features an “appeal to a frustrated middle class.”

Again, this talks more about how fascism begins than how it continues. The he*archate is an established, stable totalitarian empire, not a burgeoning movement (which is interesting because by rights this house of cards should have collapsed centuries ago). It would be interesting to look at how the hexarchate uses propaganda but uhhh iirc that’s mostly in the second and third books and I don’t remember them that well.

7. Nationalism, and the obsession with a plot, both as an outside and an inside threat. 

Reflected in how the heretics (an inside plot) are iirc assumed to be aligned with the Hafn (an outside threat). See also point 9.

8. “The followers must feel humiliated by the ostentatious wealth and force of their enemies. [...] However, the followers must be convinced that they can overwhelm the enemies. Thus, by a continuous shifting of rhetorical focus, the enemies are at the same time too strong and too weak. Fascist governments are condemned to lose wars because they are constitutionally incapable of objectively evaluating the force of the enemy.”

...I think the he*archate might win too many wars for this to be applicable?

9. “Pacifism is trafficking with the enemy [...] life is permanent warfare. This, however, brings about an Armageddon complex. Since enemies have to be defeated, there must be a final battle, after which the movement will have control of the world. But such a “final solution” implies a further era of peace, a Golden Age, which contradicts the principle of permanent war. No fascist leader has ever succeeded in solving this predicament.”

The he*archate absolutely does live in a state of permanent war, against heresy which is everywhere. The he*archate seems to have solved this predicament by achieving a placid, high standard of living for the majority of its citizenry, contingent upon those citizens’ complicity in the ritual torture of prisoners of this “war.” Thus, every citizen is both invested and involved in the fighting and encouraged to identify with its sacrifices, but also able to live in a true golden age. I’ve always thought about this aspect of the he*archate as in conversation with Ursula K. LeGuin’s short story “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas,” but that’s an essay for another day.

10. Contempt for the weak and popular elitism. “Every citizen belongs to the best people of the world, the members of the party are the best among the citizens, every citizen can (or ought to) become a member of the party. But there cannot be patricians without plebeians. In fact, the Leader, knowing that his power was not delegated to him democratically but was conquered by force, also knows that his force is based upon the weakness of the masses; they are so weak as to need and deserve a ruler. Since the group is hierarchically organized (according to a military model), every subordinate leader despises his own underlings, and each of them despises his inferiors. This reinforces the sense of mass elitism.”

This one isn’t an obvious component, but I think it’s present, especially looking at how the Kel talk about “crashhawks”. I’m going to keep a closer eye out for it as I reread.

Cheris is “un-Kel” because she cannot do this. One of the first things we see Cheris do is order her soldiers into a mildly heretical formation to keep them alive, and we see again and again how well she knows, respects, and cares for the people and servitors under her command. 

On the flip side, Kujen is able to become the system’s architect precisely because he despises his inferiors, and sees everyone as an inferior. As we learn in the third book, this does not come naturally to him, but inducing this state of mind in himself is necessary for his success.

11. “Everybody is educated to become a hero. [...] This cult of heroism is strictly linked with the cult of death. [...] In non-fascist societies, the lay public is told that death is unpleasant but must be faced with dignity; believers are told that it is the painful way to reach a supernatural happiness. By contrast, the Ur-Fascist hero craves heroic death, advertised as the best reward for a heroic life. The Ur-Fascist hero is impatient to die. In his impatience, he more frequently sends other people to death.”

Kel Kel Kel Kel.

12. “Machismo (which implies both disdain for women and intolerance and condemnation of nonstandard sexual habits, from chastity to homosexuality).”

The he*archate absolutely, emphatically does not do this. Plenty of gender equality, plenty of nonstandard sexual behavior. 

But! There is another component to point 12. “Since even sex is a difficult game to play, the Ur-Fascist hero tends to play with weapons—doing so becomes an ersatz phallic exercise.” This might be relevant to the commonness of dueling as a form of entertainment, both as a participant and a spectator sport? I don’t think dueling is particularly eroticized but it’s certainly linked to exchanges of power.

13. Selective populism. “In a democracy, the citizens have individual rights, but the citizens in their entirety have a political impact only from a quantitative point of view—one follows the decisions of the majority. For Ur-Fascism, however, individuals as individuals have no rights, and the People is conceived as a quality, a monolithic entity expressing the Common Will. Since no large quantity of human beings can have a common will, the Leader pretends to be their interpreter. Having lost their power of delegation, citizens do not act; they are only called on to play the role of the People. Thus the People is only a theatrical fiction.”

Not a strong theme in MoE, but arguably, this is how the calendar operates: on the Will of the People, carefully channeled by the appropriate authorities.

Also, not strictly relevant, but everyone needs to see this line: “There is in our future a TV or Internet populism, in which the emotional response of a selected group of citizens can be presented and accepted as the Voice of the People.” Hm.

14. Newspeak. “All the Nazi or Fascist schoolbooks made use of an impoverished vocabulary, and an elementary syntax, in order to limit the instruments for complex and critical reasoning. But we must be ready to identify other kinds of Newspeak, even if they take the apparently innocent form of a popular talk show.”

Again, I’d like to take another look at the propaganda that gets sent out in later books to talk about this properly! The Kel make heavy internal use of euphemisms, but that’s not quite the same thing.

***

Anyway, that was fun, and I hope everyone learned something about how fascism emerges! I encourage you to read the entire essay, chew on its ideas a bit, think about if they apply to other fictional words and to real life.

#tooth speech #ninefox gambit buddy read #ninefox gambit spoilers #machineries of empire #machineries of empire spoilers #fascism cw #nazis cw #long post

[clemkaplan]

[ CLEMENTINE KAPLAN. 32. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER ] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ TWO MONTHS ] and are originally from [ BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS ]. They are an [ EVENT PLANNER ] and in their downtime love [ GARDENING ] and [ HORSE BACK RIDING ]. They look a lot like [ LUCY BOYNTON ] and live [ ON SILVERWOOD TERRACE ]. (ooc: nel, 20, she/her, pst )

hlo besties, i’m nel and this is clementine !! she’s inspired by marie antoinette and is a new muse, but i’m super stoked to be playing her !! this all got a bit long, so love you if you read it all <33

here’s her pinterest board xx

ABOUT.

tw: drugs, overdose, death

the youngest of four children, clementine kaplan was used to being spoiled. she loved her mom. she loved her dad. she loved her brothers. she loved her sister. it was the perfect life.

she was a jester, wanting to make her family laugh, whether that was creating dances or one woman plays, she wanted to entertain. they’d indulge her, congratulating her and encouraging her.

her heart was full. full of love and toys and dresses and bows and friends. she got everything she asked for. one glance of her big, blue eyes and the world fell into her hands. it was all she knew, not knowing how lucky she was. her older siblings protected her and guarded her, keeping her safe from the pains of the world, while she skipped through fields and picked the neighbors’ flowers.  

she did well in school, but she was always distracted by her friends. if they wanted to go to the park, she’d drop everything to go with them. and when they were in high school and the park turned into a party, she’d be the first to say yes. she danced the most and laughed the loudest and smiled the widest, capturing the attention of everyone around her. it was bestowed upon her like a crown created only for her head. she was indulgent. she was wasteful. but she didn’t even realize it was wrong. she left a trail of hearts in her wake, from friends and lovers alike, growing bored after she filled her stomach. it wasn’t meant to be hurtful, but she only wanted to be so full of joy that it was leaking out of her ears.

she was accepted into boston university for hospitality administration. it was the best news. she could stay home and live with her family forever. her jubilation was tampered as her sister sophie started dating alex. he was trying to take her precious sister away as she spent more time with him than with clementine.

at the last second, she decided to stay in a dorm at college and that spurred her long nights of drinking and doing drugs. she was gluttonous, ravenous, and completely blind to the fact that she had a problem. she’d come home high. she’d go to class high. by some kind of miracle, she managed to graduate with her b.a. and moved back home, where her parents accepted her with open arms. she was their baby after all.

it all came to a head when sophie announced her engagement. that was it. that was the end. she had found a new family. she went to the club with her boyfriend at the time, and the next morning, she woke up in a hospital bed. she had overdosed. she cried for hours after her parents told her, sending them out of the room. she was embarrassed to have been brought so low.

clem went to rehab and was there for a month. her parents gave her a job working at their event management firm. it was low responsibility, but her first true responsibility nonetheless. she went n.a. meetings and started gardening. she went back to riding horses, her sport of choice from elementary to high school. she was doing well. she was stronger than before. she still went out with her friends and she still danced, but the only high she got anymore was from all eyes being on her.

the world came crashing down when sophie died. sophie. her sister. her best friend. one day she was there and the next day she wasn’t. close to relapsing, one of her brothers found her before she could. she went about her daily life as a ghost. it was like a raincloud followed her wherever she went. clem threw herself into work as a distraction and moved up the ranks of their business. she cherished every time she got to talk to someone. she reached out to everyone she met and tried to be kind, but she was always dragged down by her own problems.

it’s been hard for her. it still is hard for her, but she worked so hard, her parents have put her in charge of their expansion to l.a. she packed up her bags and moved, excited at the prospect of a fresh start.

PERSONALITY.

being the baby of the family, she was sheltered growing up, getting what she wanted when she wanted. she knows she’s privileged, but so used to this, she can be a bit insensitive sometimes because she doesn’t always grasp the extent. she is selfish and likes to take, but she is kind and inclusive. she is confident and outgoing and blunt, but she is scared of outright calling someone out. though, things don’t always come out the way she means them. she enjoys having fun and meeting new people, but she can be a bit of a flake because she wants to constantly be entertained, and can’t properly communicate about wanting a relationship to end. she’s a hard worker, but she also loves not having to work.

HEADCANONS.

her love language is acts of service.

since she just moved out here, she doesn’t have a pet, but she always had dogs growing up. her parents would end up taking care of them, but she always called them hers.

she is incredibly lucky. will find twenty dollar bills on the ground. has a collage with all the four leaf clovers she’s found hanging up on her wall. she can still drink without wanting to relapse.

every morning, she goes for a walk on the beach. she likes to start her day off with fresh air and the feeling of sand beneath her toes.

every sunday night, she takes a bubble bath and does a face mask. she finds it relaxing and thinks it’s the perfect way to start her week off right.

she actually hates clementines. she only likes berries.

does NOT talk about her past drug problem.

she was closet with sophie. she’d understood clem in a way no one else did because she understood her heart, and seemed to always knew what she was thinking. she’s trying to be her happy self again, but it’s hard without sophie, made even harder knowing that alex is out there alive and well. it’s not fair, and she and the rest of the kaplans still blame him. she’s hell-bent on never forgiving him and never letting it go, the one grudge she has and one she’ll nurse until she’s six feet underground like her sister.

WANTED CONENCTIONS.

she hasn’t been here long, so she probably won’t have a ton of established connections.

enemies: someone who is jealous of her because she lives in her own little bubble, and it rubs them the wrong way that she so easily gets what she wants.

friends: coffee buddies or bar buddies or walk buddies, etc

neighbors: maybe she’s tried to recruit them to help with her garden.

someone who has known her from her past. friends from boston. enemies from boston. exes from boston. someone who knew her in college and saw how wild she got. people who knew her sister.

crushes!

a plot based on this!!!

i’m so down for not plotting nd just seeing how the thread goes <33 bt also if any of y’all have a dream plot you really want nd think she could fit, i’ll be so down for it. or if you wanna plot bt don’t have ideas, i love quotes nd applying them to rp situations, so hmu if that’s what you want !!

#slintro #about. #drugs tw #overdose tw #death tw

[abundyvirtualsketchbook]

Diane Arbus 1962 Child with Toy Hand Grenade. Gelatin silver print, 15 ½” x 15 1/16”.

1. Writing and Research 

The boy in the photograph is Colin Wood, who is the son of Wimbledon winning tennis player, Sidney Wood.

Arbus took many photos of Colin, and chose to publish this one rather than the other more ordinary, flattering photos.

Arbus often took and published photos showing people in odd poses. The extreme facial expressions and strange posture was really indicative of her style.

The photograph has been used as an album cover for several different bands.

The tension that you can see in the boys posture and expression are considered to be exemplary of the the tension that came in the early 1960s right before the Vietnam war.

The way that I thought about the photograph when I first looked at it was probably a pretty typical response- I wondered why Arbus would choose to publish a portrait that was obviously not flattering for the subject. The boy in the photo is pretty maniacal looking, like there is a lot of tension around him and that he is upset at being asked to stand still and have his photograph taken. After doing a bit of research, I found that when choosing which photograph to print, Arbus often chose the more unconventional, less aesthetically pleasing photos and people often didn’t like the portraits of themselves. One displeased writer that she photographed  said of her work, "giving a camera to Diane Arbus is like putting a live grenade in the hands of a child".  This photograph can be seen as rebuttal to that comment, which I thought was really intriguing. I really admire the commitment to her work that she showed by deliberately mocking the male writers comment, especially in 1962, a time when women were really expected to show respect for men and tiptoe around their opinions. Now looking at the photo, I see an incredibly unique style in the composition of the photograph, mainly since it’s so different from the standard black and white photographs that you often see coming out of that era and really shows Arbus' willingness to deviate from the norm and defy the standards set by male photographers who came before her. I see a photograph that is indicative of resilience, creativity, and an unwillingness to bend to conform to societal norms.

2. Art and Writing

A work of art that has a lot of importance to me are these jellyfish, which hang in my living room/kitchen. They were painted on thrown-out old floorboards with acrylic paints. In my house (RV), the different shades of blue serve as the inspiration for the whole color scheme. It is a lovely focal point, and was the first piece of art that I bought as an adult for a home that was truly my own. In addition to that significance, it was bought at the very beginning of the pandemic. The artist and a good friend of mine, Rachel, is an amazing handbalancer, coach, and painter. At the beginning of the pandemic, all of the performers and coaches at the circus school that we worked at closed. My side job is done from a computer, and so I had the luxury of not losing all of my income when everything stopped. I tried to support the art that my friends were making as best I could, and was able to buy a couple pieces from her. I think that the painting itself is gorgeous, and to me it represents the closeness and support of the circus community and the autonomy that came with it being the first thing that I hung in a home that belonged to me. It also reminds me of Rachel, who is an incredibly inspiring human on many different levels.

3. Writing a Self-Portrait: A list of baggage  Create a perceptual profile. What “baggage” are you bringing along when you look at art? Answer the following questions – How old are you? What is the gender you primarily align with? Where are you from? What is your ethnicity? What do you do for fun? Are you a member of any organized group? Where do you work? What makes you uniquely you? This helps us see from what exact point in the world we view and receive visual information

Age: 24

Gender: I align with the somewhat stereotypical femme gender

Where am I from: I was born in Oregon, spent my early childhood in Southern California, and my late elementary school-teenage years in Florida. I Turned 18 and promptly moved across the country to Berkeley, CA and a couple years later moved back to Florida, and then up to Vermont. From there, my partner and I bought an RV to renovate and live in full time, and meandered from New England all the way through Sedona and are currently hanging out in Escondido, California. So I’ve kind of lived all over. 

Ethnicity: white/Caucasian 

For fun: I love to travel, make silly little crafts, drink hot toddies, and practice an array of different circus arts 

Groups: I am not really a member of any organized group, but the circus community is a very close-knit group of unorganized individuals. 

Work: Right now I am working as a tech support human from a computer. When there isn’t a pandemic, my partner and I are both circus performers. I perform aerial rope, silks, hoop, hand to hand, and flying trapeze. 

What makes me unique: I feel what really makes me me is my willingness to just do things. I was raised by a fiercely independent mother who taught me that if you want to go somewhere then go, and if you want to do something then do it. I really carry that with me, and it has taken me all over the world, into some of the strangest and most wonderful experiences, and let me meet incredible people that have also helped shape who I am. 

4. Art Project (Self-Portrait): 

I took most of the inspiration for my portrait from Bearden, and the way he combined many different photos and images, as well as different media to help convey his message. I did something similar, but creating a collage of several different photos of my life that I either really like, show the parts that I feel make me myself, and that show people and experiences who are important to me and have shaped who I am as a person. After I put the photos together, I overlaid sketched out drawing of the things that I tend to doodle in the margins of notebooks and things that show a bit more representation of things that I enjoy. Finally, I drew on some swirls in different colors and textures, because I thought that it would help bring everything together and add some flow between separate images. I think if I had a better photo-editing program, I would have liked to crop some of the photos into different shapes and onto different landscapes. 

[bookrecollection]

Do I have a Diverse Bookshelf? PT 1: Geography

I recently decided to part with over 10 bags of books because I finally admitted how I needed space, wasn’t going to read something I bought X years ago, or really didn’t need a book I read once and would never pick up again even if I loved it A LOT that one time.

As such, while admiring my newly organized shelves, I began to wonder about the diversity of what I decided to keep.

Whether we like to admit it or not, what we decide to display in our bookshelves is much like an online social profile. It lets people know who we are, what we value, what we know, and what we might be interested in. 

Outside of the shallow reasons, it’s important to be a curious reader who isn’t afraid to traverse all the different types of books out there. When you do, you get exposed to different cultures, ideas, perspectives, lifestyles, historical periods, contemporary subjects, etc. You also learn about different forms of expression and creativity across mediums, genres, languages via translation or the native tongue. You expand your awareness of well EVERYTHING. And it’s just fun!

So to help me out, I’ll be referring to the categories in this blogpost. I thought I’d tackle each to see how my newly slimmed-down  book collection does by listing 5 books that apply to each.

First up is ...

GEOGRAPHY

According to our reference, reading books about different geographic locations is a must. It helps you become more aware about the world and the many communities (i.e. urban, rural, ethnic) and class systems (racial, minority, income-based) that existed and/or still exist.

Here are 5 titles that jumped out to me about that:

Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli I first read this title in elementary school when I didn’t necessarily understand that Maniac is white while the Beales are black. I did understand that he was an orphan who ran away from a dysfunctional household to find care in a community that needs to cross some world differences to understand each other. I’m also pretty sure I understood there were disparities in wealth and lifestyle. I’ve since reread it several times as an adult; it’s lovely!

Shark’s Fin and Sichuan Soup: A Sweet and Sour Memoir of Eating in China by Fuchsia Dunlop I randomly picked this book up in a travel section at a local bookstore because I wanted to read more travel writing. I still think about it! Dunlop writes about 1990s China when foreign students are just allowed to study there. She really breaks down how much we culturally define and confine ourselves to our gastronomic identities. It’s fun and eye-opening. It’s made me a braver traveler at the dinner table.

A Personal Matter by Oe Kenzaburo This is when I learned the post WW2 literature of Japan is BLEAK. I also vividly remember finishing this book and thinking: If an American wrote this, it would have had one more chapter describing the protagonist’s self-determination to accept his duty and live well. I haven’t read it since that first time, but I remember this as a dark, unsettling and intensive study of a man who must determine whether he wants the responsibility of fatherhood at all.

Love, Anger, Madness: A Haitian Triptych by Marie Vieux-Chauvet Gifted to me by a relative who knows I’m an adventurous reader, this was another BLEAK collection of novellas. At one point, I had to stop reading because I was so horrified by the abuse meted out by characters upon each other. The reason it remains on my bookshelf is because the stories really made me consider how it’s important to read and acknowledge the trauma imposed upon generations by a violent dictatorship. Overall, I think what the author was trying to show is that the trauma runs too deep. What triumph can truly heal that?

Campfire Stories: Tales From America’s National Parks Edited by Ilyssa and Dave Kyu I rarely love an entire anthology, and here is one of them! The editors traveled across six national parks to collect short stories, personal anecdotes, poems, songs and etc. It’s a wonderful collage of the history, cultures and people who first visited and those who did and continue to define these destinations. It’s made me want to see visit more parks. 

So let’s end on that uplifting note!

Next up? Holidays and Festivals.

#books #diversity #reading #booklovers

[yoongihoseok97]

Cookies & kisses💋

.BTS Jungkook.

Summary- Jeon Jungkook is a broke college student who’s just trying to get his degree and find his place in the world but things aren’t always that easy. Especially when you’re only 21 years old and have a 4 year old daughter.

Warnings- Mentions of underage sex, brief mentions of past drug & alchol abuse. Mentions of past depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts. Quite a bit of swearing but nothing too harsh, don’t read if you’re sensitive to anything mentioned above.

Word count- 2.4k

-

A trail of ‘sorry’s and ‘excuse me’s left Jungkooks mouth as he pushed his way through the overcrowded hallway of tired and depressed collage students. His afternoon class had ran over and he had to get to the daycare a little under a mile away in under 5 minutes if he wanted to pick his daughter up in peace without all the judgemental moms rolling their eyes at him for not being on time. It’s happened more times then he’d like to admit and Jungkook would be lying if he said the fellow parents stares weren’t intimidating. Now the young dad knew that being a single father in collage would get him a bad reputation, the tattoos covering his muscular body doesn’t help with anything either but he’s learnt to ignore the disapproving glares from strangers and to just focus on himself and his precious little girl.

He ran as fast as he could to the nursery, considering himself victorious when he arrived at 3:31pm, only a minute late and the class hadn’t even came out yet. He smiled slightly to himself before looking around awkwardly to see only a few stares from both Teacher’s and parents which made him huff and cross his arms over his chest, emphasising the tattoos covering his toned arms in a way to tell them he isn’t interested in what they have to say. Who do they think they are, looking down at him and his daughter like they’re some specks of dirt on their shoe. It honestly angered him more than anything, everyone thinking he can’t raise his own daughter well because of his age, everyone thinking he’s a bad father because of how he looks and the bad things he did in the past. He had moved on from those times and he liked to think he’s even grown as a person which is something only a few people seemed to believe.

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a door opening and a crowd of excited children running towards him like a mini stampede and a smile is instantly spread across his face when he sees his beautiful little girl skipping towards him. “Daddy!” Eunha squealed as she jumped into her fathers arms, obviously happy to see him after a long day of being apart. “Hey baby how are you?” He said whilst picking the small girl up, kissing her cheek before making his way out of the now crowded playground. “It was so fun daddy! We did painting and drawing all day and look I made you something!” Jungkook stopped a moment, looking down happily at his daughter who’s hands were carrying a rather large card that had “Merry Christmas Daddy!” Written on the front in various different colours and a picture of the two of them with a Christmas tree full of presents in the background.

“Baby this is beautiful, thank you princess.” Jungkook said emotionally. He was so happy to have someone so precious in his fucked up life that brought him happiness and peace, something the father didn’t think he deserved.

The two made it home after about 15 minutes of walking, they lived in a big apartment just outside of campus with three of Jungkooks best friends. He originally wanted a small house for just the two of them but after talking with they boys he realised moving in with them would be cheaper and it meant he had someone to help take care of Eunha if needed. Some people would question if living with 4 men was a good thing for the young girl but Jungkook would always shut down the comments, insisting that he’d known the three for years and Taehyung, Seokjin and Hoseok adored Eunha and would do anything to help.

“We’re back” The raven haired boy shouted, putting Eunha down so she could run off into the lounge to play. “In here” Taehyung shouted back from his position presumingly in the kitchen. His suspicion was met when he walked in and saw his hyung raiding the cookie draw. “Hyung, Jin literally brought those this morning and you know how he gets when you open food straight away” the younger laughed as Taehyung rolled his eyes at the comment. “That’s not my problem, if he would let me then I’d do the food shopping but he doesn’t so he’s just gonna have to deal with it” Jungkook just laughed at his friends rant, grabbing his phone and scrolling through his most recent notifications.

“Tae oppa!” Eunha grinned, her curly long brown hair bounced as she ran towards her favourite (don’t tell jin) uncle. Jungkook and tae had been best friends since elementary school and when the younger told him he was gonna be a dad he didn’t judge him like everyone else did. Don’t get him wrong he was shocked of course; and a little sympathetic for the inexperienced teenager,but he stuck by him and helped him through everything. So it was kinda natural that his daughter had the best bond with him considering he was practically Eunha’s second dad. “Princess” he laughed as he picked the youngster up, twirling her around in circles resulting in the cutest giggles squeaking out of her mouth. Jungkook gazed lovingly at the sight before him, the sweet sound of his daughters laugh never failed to make him smile.

“Dad said that you’re looking after me a bit today” she informed him looking up into Taes eyes, grabbing a strand of his hair and playing with it between her small fingers. The elder looked at the father with a raised eyebrow as the younger mouthed ‘please hyung’ with pouty lips that Taehyung could never say no to. “Of course I am sweetie and we’re gonna have lots of fun, why don’t you go into your room and find something for us to play with” he smiled, carefully putting her down with a kiss on the cheek before she giggled and skipped out of the room. “I’m sorry Tae I got a call earlier from my professor and he said he needed to talk to me and I know it’s late notice and I should have asked you first but-”

“Jungkook it’s fine, don’t worry about it just call me when you’re on your way home” Taehyung smiled and patted him on the back. “Thanks hyung, I shouldn’t be too long.” He quickly turned and made his way out of the room, grabbing his phone and keys from the side before kissing Eunha on the forehead and making his way back out of the door.

The young dad sighed to himself as he strolled through the fairly busy park, it was mid May so the summer heat had just hit Seoul like a truck and Jungkook wasn’t particularly ready for it. A black and red checkered hoodie, thick black jeans and boots covered his muscular frame and he was starting to hate himself for his choice of clothing. A thin layer of sweat covered his forehead making his raven black hair stick slightly and Jungkook hated how it made his body itch but didn’t bother wiping it as he knew it would only make things worse, choosing to walk under the shade that the oak trees decorating the park provided.

Lighting up a cigarette the young male looked around the crowded park, the new weather brought about hundreds of different people; from students to families with small children of similar ages to Eunha, the sight of a couple and their daughter playing happily and laughing made him feel somewhat guilty. A feeling he felt quite often these days. It’s not that Jungkook regretted become a father at the young age of 17, of course he would have preferred to be a bit older before he had children but he wouldn’t change it for the world. It was more the fact Eunha didn’t have a mother figure in her life and he could tell that it’s effecting her more ways then she would admit. Seeing all the other kids at her nursery being picked up by their moms and all the little girls having pretty braided hair in fancy clips and scrunchies that Jungkook just couldnt figure out how to master no matter how hard he tried. Obviously Mother’s Day was the hardest, especially now that she went to school where everyone else was making ‘best mom ever!’ cards for their beloved parent, however she drew her dad a picture, a colourful sketch of herself, Jungkook and her 3 uncles instead and as much as he knew his daughter loved him with all her heart, she would love to have a mother figure too.

So lost in his thoughts Jungkook didn’t realise he had arrived at his professors office. He threw the cigarette on the floor and stomped it into the ground before taking a deep breath and gently knocking on the door. A small ‘Come in’ echoed throughout the room and Jungkook slowly made his way into the overheated room. “Ah Jungkook, nice to see you! Take a seat.” His professor, Dr Thomas said way to enthusiastically for a Monday afternoon. Upon taking his seat Jungkook quickly became overwhelmed by the amount of papers that were placed in front of him. “Do I even know what all of these papers are?” The student asked eyeing up the never ending pile of papers of all colours. Chuckling at Jungkooks reluctantly “Don’t worry, they’re not all as bad as it seems.” The teacher joked rummaging through the pile to pull out a rather bright booklet that stated ‘Grease The musical!’ on the front cover in big bold letters and handing it to the confused student.

“Erm sir.. I’m not a musical theatre major, why are you giving me this?” Jungkook questioned looking down at the script in his tattooed hands. It made no sense to him as to why his professor was giving him this, he’d never been interested in acting or even going to see a theatre production so this was completely random to him. “Now Jungkook that’s what I needed to speak to you about” he paused, “I’m pretty sure you’re aware of this but you’re failing my class and well it’s my job to not let that happen” The middle aged man smiled keenly. “Now this big ol’ pile of rubbish is all of the projects you can do for extra credit and I spoke to your friend Hoseok Jung and asked him about your interests and he said performing arts is one of them!” He said gesturing to the never ending stack of scripts and god knows what else.

Grunting quietly Jungkook slowly flicked through the pages of the script in front of him “So what do I have to do? Just pick one of these and help out backstage or something? Cause I’m not really an actor, more of a dancer” He asked looking up at the man in front of him. “Now, Hoseok said that might be the case so I asked the head of Musical theatre if you could help out somehow with the choreography and you’re in luck! Their main choreographer had to drop out so all you have to do is go and tell Professor Richards that you’re up for the job, perform a piece of your own choreography in an audition and boom extra credit sorted!” Dr Thomas exclaimed, clapping excitedly for his student.

Smiling slightly at the mans excitement Jungkook nodded “Thanks for sorting all this out sir I really appreciate it.” He said standing up, wiping his sweaty palms onto his thighs before offering his hand for the teacher to shake. “No worries, oh how’s Eunha by the way? You haven’t brought her into class recently .” Dr Thomas asked curiously letting go of Jungkooks hand.

The student had been taking his daughter into his lectures since he started the university. It was extremely hard for him back then considering he was a single, 19 year old father with nothing but hopes and dreams of graduating with a degree in engineering science. He didn’t have anyone to take care of Eunha during his classes due to his friends being tied up in their own schedules and his parents were always busy at work so bringing her into class with him had been his only option. Mr Thomas had been extremely supportive of Jungkook and his situation, so much that he even made a small children section in the corner of the class that had a few books and toys to keep Eunha occupied whilst her father was listening to the lecture. The young student was beyond thankful for everything he had done for him. If it wasn’t for him Jungkook doesn’t think he would have coped.

A proud smile came over his face as his daughter was mentioned. He loved to talk about his pride and joy and he jumped at every chance he could to brag about her brilliance. “She’s doing really well sir, she just started nursery so I don’t have to bring her In anymore.” He explained happily. “That’s fantastic Jungkook! You’ll have to bring her in to see me one of these days, anyway I’ll let you go. See you soon son.” Jungkook smiled once again and waved before stepping out of the office, the fluorescent pink script looking out of place in his inked hands.

The student paused as soon as he made it out of the office, a sigh making its way out of his mouth. How the hell is he gonna be able to fit this into his schedule? Jungkook was a busy man, he had a 4 year old daughter for God’s sake! How is he meant to choreograph for all 10 songs, teach the choreography, study and look after his child and himself all at once? Shaking his head he carried on walking, pulling out another cigarette to calm himself down. He knew he shouldn’t smoke as much as he does but it was an old habit he just couldn’t get rid of no matter what he tried. The youngster carried on walking home, a million different thoughts swerving round in his head. He didn’t know what he was going to do for this audition. Didn’t know if he should just turn back around and tell his professor to forget it and let him fail. He wanted the latter but he knew he couldn’t do that. He had to pass this class. He needed to make his daughter proud.

#bts #bts reactions #bts scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios #fanfic #bts jungkook #bts fluff #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenarios #bts jhope #bts jimin #bts taehyung #bts suga #bts jin #bts namjoon #bangtan #bts fanfic

[bellemariahgold]

《After doing some thinking I have decided to Make this Character my own. I love Belle in ONCE UPON A TIME she is one of my favorite characters! I love her story, but there are some things I have decided to change about her I may add more as I go along but I wanted to share my own unique verson of her. I have always injoyed putting my own little twists and turns into the characters I portray. She will still be Canon but there are some things that are not Canon about her. I hope y'all enjoy her story.

___________________________________

*RUFF DRAFT OF BELLE MARIAH GOLD'S BIOGRAPHY*

( BIRTH )

Belle Maria French was Born in Sydney Australia on a very cold winters night. She was born July 4th on a Tuseday morning at 3:45 am, She is the daughter of Collette and Maurice French. She has two older brothers and a older Sister which makes her the youngest Child of the French Family.

( CHILDHOOD)

Belle Grew up in Sydney Australia in a very nice five bedroom house, her family is middle class since both of her parent's had really important jobs, Her Father was a Police man and her mother was a lawyer. Due to the fact that her patents where always working and her oldest Brother was getting ready to join the military, Belle, her brother and sister had a live in nanny that helped take care of them while her parents where at work. Even though Belle and her sliblings didn't see their parents very much they where a very close family. It didn't happen often but they would sometimes go on family trips to England, Paris and Hawaii. They would also go on cruses every once in awile. Ever since Belle was a small child she loved going on adventures with her family and decided that once she was old enough she was going to leave home and travel the world.

( SCHOOL YEARS)

Since she was a middle class child Belle went to a privite school, her parents had decided that their childern would get a better education at a privite school then they would at a plubic one. Even though her sisters wanted to go to plubic school, Belle enjoyed going to privite school she had alot of friends and was a very good student. Her favorite classes where history and Advanced English. In her spare time Belle would go to the library and spend hours reading many books. Belle loved to read and she loved getting lost in the stories that she red that being said her family had starting calling her A Book Worm but she didn't mind, she knew that she was a book worm and she was proud of who she was. By the time she Graudated she was student of the year and had been accepted into Stanford collage which caused her family to be very proud.

( ADOLESCENCE)

Not long after Belle had Graudated High School Belle's parents decided that they wanted to move to a smaller town so that they could spend more time with their family. When her parents had decided that they wanted to move, Belle was not very happy about it. She loved her home and did not want to leave. Even though she was going to collage she was going to come back to her home town so that she could spend time with her family and friends during the hoildays. Even though she did not like her parents decision she wanted them to be happy and after awile she agreed to the move after her parents had promised her that they would come back and visit.

( COLLEGE)

Not long after they moved to a small little town Called Storybrooke which was located in Maine Belle got a part time Job working with her mother in the Library. Her father got a job as a florist, her sister worked at the Elementary school while her brothers got jobs as a police man and a doctor. Even though Belle enjoyed working at the library, the time soon came where she had to pack up and head off to collage which was in another state, before she left she promised to keep in contact and come home for holidays and summer break.

When she got to collage Belle was once again a top student and had really good grades. Since she had wanted to travel the world she didn't really have a career in mind but decided that if she did get a job she wanted to be a teacher. Belle loved childern and would often work with her sister at the School when she wasn't working with her mother at the library.

While she was away at School Belle met Ruby who quickly became her best friend. They would do everything together and it wasn't long before they had decided that they would always keep in contact. Belle also ended up getting into her first Real relationship with a man named Gaston. She had met him when she had gone to a Frat party with Ruby. When she met him, Belle was not sure what to think of him due to the fact that he was full of himself and thought that he was the greatest person on earth. Due to her kind nature, Belle decided to give him a chance however she soon found out that she had made a grave mistake. Not only was Gaston full of himself, he was also very controlling and manipulating besides that Gaston was violent and did not and did not let Belle do anything. That being said Belle decided that she did not want to be with someone who was going to control her life so she quicky ended the relationship.

After she ended it Gaston would not leave her alone but Belle did her best to ignore him and went on with her life. After she Graudated from Collage Belle decided that she was ready to pack up and start her life of adventure. Once she had enough money saved up, Belle said goodbye to her family and friends and started her adventure.

( TRAVELING)

During her adventures Belle went to alot of places and saw alot of amazing things she also met alot of wonderful people and ended up making alot of friends. She did alot of fun and daring thing's and tried alot of new foods. Some of the things that she did was explore the Amazon, went mountain climbing, went cave exploring, went sky diving, bungee jumping, Swam with Sharks, went Deep sea diving and spent a few months in Africa. While she was away, Belle ended up being in quite a few movies and did a few TV shows she also modeled for a couple of months. Even though she was very busy she still took the time to go back home and spend time with her family and friends.

( HOGWARTS)

One of the places she went while she was out adventuring was England while she was there she ended up getting a offer to work at a school for young Witches and Wizards Called Hogwarts, Wanting to try something new she eagerly accepted the Job. Since she was not Magical Belle taught Muggle studdies which was a class that taught the students about the Muggle World. Belle loved the students and they loved her. She taught them alot of Wonderful and amazing things, she also got permission to take them on a trip to Paris for a couple of weeks. Durning the Weekends Belle worked at the library and helped students with their homework. While she was there she met a Proffessor named Rumplestiltskin Gold, the two became fast friends and Belle even started to fall for him. Rumple was not like any man that she had met before, he was dark and mysterious which drew Belle towards him.

Unfortunately since she did not have the best experience with relationships, Belle was not ready to take their relationship to the next level nor did she know if she would ever see him again however the two had promised eachother that they would remain very close friends and if they ever crossed paths again they would see what would happen. Belle worked at Hogwarts for a few years before she decided that she wanted to go back home to her family, before she left she told Dumbledore that she would return if he needed her she also told him that she would visit as much as she could.

( STORYBROOKE.)

Once she got home Belle fell back into her old routine pretty fast even though she missed travling the world she was glad to be home. After she got settled, she went back to working at the Library and helping her sliblings at their jobs. To her surprise her best friend Ruby happened to live in Storybrooke, the two spent alot of time catching up. She was also suprised to find out that Ruby was not the only person that lived there, It didn't take her long to realize that Rumplestiltskin/ Mr. Gold also lived there which meant that they would be able to get together and talk about becoming more than friends. Even though Belle wanted to be with Rumple, she did not want to dive into another relationship so they decided to take things slow. As she spent time with him Belle found out that Rumple owned the town and pawn shop, she also realized that the town was afraid of him and thought that he was a monster and a cold heartless man. Now Belle did not think was a monster, she thought that he was a good man who was just misunderstood that being said Belle tried to get him to see that he was a good man and not the monster that everyone thought he was.

The more time that Belle spent with Rumplestiltskin, she started to realize that she was in love with him, she did not care that he was from a different word and had magic, the only request she had was that he didn't use magic on her or to hurt other people besides that she loved him for who he was. As time went on Belle ended up telling Rumple all about her past and the amazing adventures that she had gone on and it was not long before they decided that one day they would explore the world together. To this day Belle is very happy living with Rumple and can not wait to see what their future holds.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited.  I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

#survey #quiz #questions #random

[regulardomainname]

Kadie Smith Finds Her Passion For Design During a Career Day in High School (DOTW#5)

We’re super excited to continue our series of interviews “Designer of the Week” with an amazing and passionate designer, Kadie Smith.  Webdesignledger: Kadie, at Webdesignledger we’ve been very impressed with your work and we decided that we want to get to know you better. Please tell us five characteristics you want people to know about you when they first meet you. Kadie: Thank you! If I were to meet someone for the first time, I would want them to know that I’m sincere, a good listener, observant, enjoy brainstorming creative ideas, and love collaboration. Webdesignledger: When did you discover your passion for design? What originally made you want to become a graphic designer? Kadie: I found out I was passionate about graphic design when shadowing a family friend who owned a branding agency for career day in high school. The thing I loved most about graphic design was the visual organization and editing process. I never quite felt like a pure artist, but as a designer, I loved creative problem-solving and that it was rooted in an understanding of communication. Webdesignledger: Your agency offers a wide range of design (branding, logo design, brand development, marketing graphics, brand experience, creative direction, lettering, illustration, layouts). Which of these branches offers you the most satisfaction as a graphic designer? Kadie: I find the most satisfaction (personally) in the branding process. I enjoy building a personal relationship with new clients and walking through the whole evolution of the brand from start to finish. In this process, design becomes an opportunity for my client to express their dreams and ambitions and translate their passion for their business in their style and visual communication. From there, my team and I get to play and see just how far we can extend a brand’s experience and create opportunities to add a personal touch to the brand’s growth and development over time with different visual elements. Webdesignledger: What are the top three fonts you love and use the most? Kadie: My favorite go-to fonts are Coromant, Gotham, and Garamond. Webdesignledger: Every designer has at least one project that he/she is very proud of. What is the project that has the most emotional value to you, that helped you express your style the most? Kadie: My favorite project to date is Bossladies Magazine. Chelsea came to me right after Volumen One released and she unexpectedly built a large following. We worked for a year together putting together issues two and three as our friendship and mutual trust grew. After issue three, Chelsea gave me the green light to rebrand the magazine and I had never felt such a personal connection to a branding project, having worked with the client for so long before getting to start the process. It became an extension of my own style since I had come to identify so closely with the heart and mission of the magazine, and was the most rewarding experience I’ve had in a branding project. Webdesignledger: We love the way you organize your portfolio and take time to give all the details describing your clients’ business. We understand that the designer-client relationship is important to you. Have you ever disagreed with the client’s feedback? How did you handle it? Kadie: I have! I think almost every designer has at one time or another. When I was just starting out, I felt so personally tied to my designs that I had a hard time understanding feedback and became really disappointed if the project went in a direction I wasn’t excited about. Now, I first take time to try to understand the root of the feedback – is it a misunderstanding? different style preference? fear? My role as a brand designer is to communicate my client’s vision for the company, not to create my own version of their business, so I try to keep as much of my personal bias in check as I can. Sure, I want the end result to be beautiful, but I also want it to resonate with my client and give them passion and confidence to take ownership of their brand. If I feel like their feedback is rooted in a genuine lack of understanding or fear of taking a risk, I try to work through those fears and uncertainties with them as a co-collaborator. If it’s merely a different style preference, I do my best to execute their style and vision for the brand as best I can! Webdesignledger: If you could choose the era you were born in, what other century would you choose design-wise? Kadie: Design-wise, I would love to be in the Art Deco era! I love the typography from that period in design and still take so much inspiration from the way they pushed the limits of traditional letterforms. Webdesignledger: Being your own boss comes with many responsibilities. Do you use a certain time or project management software to make your workflow smoother? Kadie: Asana has really helped my team workflow, but personally I am still so old school and just use my Moleskine planner! I need to be better at being more digital (my project manager would love it if I was!) but I’ve found I always gravitate back to pen and paper. Webdesignledger: Describe your creative process. What are the major steps? Do you follow a certain routine? Kadie: I do have a creative routine. I start with extensive time in the discovery phase, asking lots of questions, researching ideas and putting together mood boards, meeting with my client, and making sure I understand their style and brand message as best I can before designing. Once I start designing, I try to keep the options pretty minimal to help with decision paralysis. I spend time explaining why I’ve developed each concept and how I see it developing. Once a design concept/direction is selected, I build it out and refine the design, adding mockups and additional visual elements to create a full experience. Then we start the revision phase to further refine and perfect the design to make sure it’s ready to launch! Webdesignledger: Are you currently working on a project? How is it coming together? Kadie: We are currently working on several projects! This month, we’re working on branding for a children’s clothing brand, an interior design firm, a fertility specialist, a travel agency, a financial firm, an elementary school, and an app for wedding photographers, as well as some packaging and illustration projects. We stay busy, but we have fun! Webdesignledger: What is something new that you learned as a designer in your past experience (jobs & internships)? Kadie: I have learned so much about discipline, creating buffer in timelines (at least 40% for all the unexpected mishaps and creative blocks!), and the importance of forming relationships in the design and local community. Webdesignledger: What advice would you give to a new designer? Kadie: I would tell a new designer to work on lots of different projects before settling in on the type of design they want to do. And then keep experimenting! Reach outside of your comfort zone to try different creative hobbies to spark your inspiration. Often it’s when I’m painting, collaging, or sewing that I’ll think of a solution for a logo or come up with a color palette for a client. Develop a broad skill set and form lots of relationships – go to events and conferences, reach out to designers you admire online, and join online groups and forums. There’s so much out there that you can use to grow as a professional designer if you put yourself out there! Webdesignledger: Thanks for letting us get to know you and we wish you best of luck! You can stay updated with Kadie’s work on the following platforms: Blog: dropcapdesign.com Instagram: dropcapdesign Read More at Kadie Smith Finds Her Passion For Design During a Career Day in High School (DOTW#5) http://dlvr.it/QXjk41 www.regulardomainname.com

#Featured #Inspiration #Interviews #Web Designers #Designer of the week

[chalk-reverie]

2020 summary

My 2020 is hurricane, an avalanche. The change is enormous, full of surprise tragedies and bullshit exposed.

On first months it was so hard to deal these changes. I couldn’t sleep well, since I am so focused on the world in general I feel so small and incapable. How a 20 year old deal with this? The war, the deaths, the corruption, the floods, the pain of the people all around the world? Nothing, because all I can handle is  myself, my works, and my thoughts. My mind in default, a mess and really tend to think a lot. I am thinking that Gods works is difficult as he deals with everyone. But I remember he is not alone.

After all of those sleepless nights, I decide to let go, deal with it and face the present, no future, no past, and it actually work, I manage to be stable mentally. I listen to stoicism. The philosophy of not giving a fuck, although this might seem to be cold-hearted, it’s hard facts. I am just human, I can’t deal everything in my hands alone, and all I can handle is my thoughts, my judgements and reaction. I have to take care of myself before others because, I can’t give what I don’t have.

In terms of friendships, my desperation minimized, and I am happier. I judge about my actions to them, if I did help them or not, if I am annoying or not, if I’m useful or not. I honestly, don’t get the concept of it. I need a guide on how to be a friend. But it seems like I don’t have to worry at all. I feel that I am alone in the crowd, out of place, that’s always the case. My collages are kinder than in my high school years and handling everyone isn’t my nature. I am no comedian, no protagonist, nor a leader. I am honestly there to support people who I care about. I have friends, that even though I don’t talk to them often, I am sure they still consider me as a friend. I love them enough, and this is all I can do.

In terms of communication, I discovered that I speak sarcasm, the language I know. That’s why I don’t speak often, because I tend to hurt people with my words. Whenever when I am at school, I feel hurt cause I can’t express myself, meaning I can’t speak sarcasm, because I am worried about what people will think. And this time, I release it all out here at home. I start with my mom, then everyone. It was so much fun. and if I get overboard, they tell me to stop, and I thinks it’s better that way. Now what I was afraid of is sincerity, they misinterpret that I am saying sarcastic when I am just being honest. Anyway, it’s a skill I have to learn, yet.

I am still struggling with perfectionism. I am thinking of a image I want to portray in school, which clouded my thinking process. Because I have to think of a perfect statement, a perfect plan, which sets boundaries to my actions, my speech, and my words. Like I said, I am worried what others would think of me. No wonder they seem surprise when I do something they aren’t usually see in me. I am a sarcastic, rude bithc, a rule breaker, who wants to be brutally honest with everyone but can’t, I just can’t cause I have fears. I just want everyone to be happy, and the price is my own freedom and happiness. 

I LOVE YURI. My love for yuri is so massive I’d burst the sun. Back in high school, few people know my quirks on yuri. I just... the softness, the tenderness, the honestly, the flow is gentle it will literally melt my heart. Some people told me to stop. Again, set restriction to myself. I am not sure about my sexuality back then but I am sure there is something odd with me. I tend to see attraction as “idolism”, a delusion, just like in romantic novels, seems Perfect. They don’t have flaws, and every red flags seems to be some other color. And so my expectation rises that leads to disappointments. Thinking that, I lead to a forever alone person. Thinking I was destined to be alone, not to find a partner or to friends that will fit me. 

I ghosted everyone in my high school and I start to be a new me. Senior high, was a small freedom for me. Having a new environment, new faces, new people means I can be who I want to be. At my new school, I became free. If you knew me, I am sorry I ghosted you. To be honest, back when I was in high school and elementary, what I feel was pressure, shame, and a failure. I feel like everyone expect me to be great, to be always on top, like I said, a perfect human. I am competitive in nature, I wanted to win, without fail, to be the number one, because that’s who I am. And then everything breaks, the people who admired me to be the great, was disappointed at me, just because I am not number 1 anymore. From someone became no one. That hurt my reputation, my ego. That open wound grew with me. I wanted revenge, but that only leads to resentment. A toxic mind... A weight, in my heart, not a pleasant memory. Back in high school, my mind is clouded with negativity, and now, all I could remember was sadness and hopelessness. It still hurts, because that became a memory of mine I cannot erase, and stuck with the feeling, the feeling is all I could remember. In the darkness, there is nothing I could do but cry, feel, and suffocate. The thought of being born to be worthless, everything I do becomes meaningless, because I don’t know who I have become. Who am I? I am nothing. I remember back then, I don’t feel that I have friends to talk with, that I don’t fit in, that they hated me, just for existing, they aren’t capable of loving someone like me. Someone cold, a lifeless, useless failure being. I thought, no one cared and I’d better die. Thus, everything comes along. Because of my sexuality, my love for yuri, they told me to stop it, leads to SELF HATRED. My grades, my score is failing, I feel like I am a failure. I can seem to get along with everyone, so everyone hates me being here, I want to die. These thoughts are resilient that it became true. Feeling these, I became a ghost, a soulless being. I experience being not there, like someone is moving my own body, watching at the back as I see myself walking, reading, eating. I feel like floating away, like I don’t own this body of mine. Existential crisis, self-doubt, and 

I took me years, it took time, to eliminate this toxicity. Thank God, I am recovering, from this... hard times. I am in a better condition now. Sometimes it comes back from time to time, and I will always and always hope to be better. There must be in worst condition than I but hear me, and let me heal.

#journal #2020 #personal

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[fyeaitsme-blog]

1-100!

100 questionsIs a kiss considered cheating? YesHave you ever faked orgasm? YesIf you could have one superpower, what would it be? Mind reading 😈Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? No, I'll be drowning in student debt lol. Tell us some funny drunk story. Don't have one! Found out the bad way that I'm allergic to alcohol :( Why are you no longer together with your ex? I made school my priority instead of him so he didn't feel loved enough..If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? In my sleep pls or anyway without pain What are your current goals? I just wanna hear back from this internship dude 😭 I just wanna know did I get it or nah cause that job is goals. Do you like someone? Yes Who was the last person to disappoint you? An ex-friend Do you like your body? YesCan you keep a diet? Yes If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? Hey, you are all loved. Don't forget that. Do you work? Yes. Two jobs. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Hot wings and celery Would you get a tattoo? Yes. Planning on getting one in January for my 20th birthday. Woot woot. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? My parents' happiness or charity. Something good for the world. Can you drive? Uhm, yes but a friend told me "Asian drivers, no survivors" so...When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? Two weeks ago What was the last thing you cried for? A friend Do you keep a journal? Kind of. It's a private blog called Jenournaling. Is life fun? Hell yeah when I'm not working haha Is farting in front of people irrelevant? No. Only in front of best friends haha. What’s your dream car? Audi R8 or BMW i8 ❤️❤️❤️ Are grades in school important? YesDescribe your crush. He has nice eyes and a caring soul. He's funny and smart. Everything about him is soft... his tone, his facial features, his hair..No words can really describe the giddy and peaceful feeling I have when I'm around him. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? Slevin What was your last lie? Can't remember... haven't told many lies in a longggg time Dumbest lie you ever told? Uh.... I don't know. If i lie, i try to make sure it doesn't sound dumb...?Is crying in front of people embarrassing? In front of strangers, yes. Close friends? Nah. Something you did and you are proud of? Creating a digital fragmented collage about cultural identity and getting published! What’s your favourite cocktail? Moscow mules if that's considered a cocktailSomething you are good at? Kayaking & Eating & Definitely sleeping :) Do you like small kids? The cute, good ones. Not the spoiled ones that run around the house and doesn't listen to anyone. How are you feeling right now? Fullllll. I just had dinner. What would you name your daughter/son? Not really sure... maybe X and let them change their name when they're 18. What do you need to be happy? To be ok alone Is there some one you want to punch in the face right now? Kind of, yeah. but I don't think I can ever hurt anyone again :( What was the last gift you received? An orange milkshake from Arby's :) What was the last gift you gave? A metal plaque saying World's Greatest Teacher to my manager ❤️What was the last concert you went to? Charlie Puth Favourite place to shop at? ZaraWho inspires you? Lucy Liu How old were you when you first got drunk? Never got shit-faced before How old were you when you first got high? Never got high How old were you when you first had sex? 18 When was your first kiss? Hmm.... I don't remember. It was a while back... like... 12? 14? Something you want to do until the end of this year? Follow a plant based diet Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? Yes. Don't we all have that? But no regrets though... everything that has happened has made me who I am today Post a selfie. Uhhhhhh.... ok will do. Who are you most comfortable around? Mah 2 Best friends :) Name one thing that terrifies you. Cockroaches What kind of books do you read? historical for work and usually they're almost always borderline conspiracy What would you tell your 12 year old self? Be more considerate of others, you asshole. What is your favourite flower? Lily's breath Any bad habits you have? I bite my nails when I'm nervous What kind of people are you attracted to? Smart, humble individuals who aspire to do something great with their lives. What was the last thing you cried for? A friend... is this a repeat question? Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? Yes... duck fetus, also known as balut and insects. Are you in love? I wish. I heard it was great. Something you find romantic? Just sitting somewhere quite as we watch the skyline 🌃 How long was your longest relationship? Ahhhhh.... official relationship would be 3 months.. and unofficial would be something that's been on and off for about 4 years What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? Chattiness, judgmental, liesWhat are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? Cockiness, doesn't understand the female mind, cowardiceWhat are you saving money for? Traveling How would you describe your bad side? Dark and twisted. Depressed. Sad. Are you actually a good person? Why? To an extent. I try to live a good, simple life. I don't really mess with anyone and stay in my lane. I've been drama free since junior year of high schoolWhat are you living for? I want to do good for the world and humanity. Have you ever done anything illegal? Maybe Do you like your body? Yes. This is totally a repeat question. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? Yes and if I see them again I want to say I'm sorry :( Ever sent nudes? HAHAHAHHA. yes.Have you ever cheated on someone? No Favourite candy? Swedish fish Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! Nope. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? LoLFavourite TV series? Elementary Are you religious? Does God exist? No and maybe? What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? Ecocide. Yes! It's eye-opening. Just read the back cover summary. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? Trying to be vegannnnnnn How long have you been on Tumblr? Years... on and off Do you like Chineese food? Hell mother fucking yeah and DIM SUM. McDonalds or Subway? Subway Vodka or whiskey? Whiskey Alcohol or drugs? Drugs Ever been out of your province/state/country? YesMeaning behind your blog name? It's just me man. What are you scared of? Being forgotten. Being a failure. Last time you were insulted? Haha... every day :( Most traumatic experience ? Getting bit by a dog and then going to some weird voodoo doctor ._. When I was freaking 4. Still have nightmares sometimes. Perfect date idea? Oh, anything' cool as long as we're laughing and having fun! Favourite app on your phone? Tumblr :) What colour are the walls in your room? Beige Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? Yes. Jenn Im Share your favourite quote. There's too many!! Here's one from one of my favorite poems! "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old rage should burn and rave at close of day." What is the meaning of life? Make good with the life you have. Do you like horror movies? YesHave you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Yes. I was crying Do you feel lucky or special in a way? Lucky to be where I am in life Can you keep a secret? Always.

[paperygoodness]

WHAT.

The year is over.

Okay, in many ways, the year was a long one.  I think that happens when you’re learning new things, and I sure did!  But when I think back to December 31 of 2015, it feels like a couple of weeks ago.  Back on that day, I had chosen a word to define what my year would mean, and that was “direction”. Indeed, my year took MANY directions!  It feels like each month brought a new and exciting chapter to my art, so that’s how it’ll be chronicled!

January – When I look back at last January, it comes to me in two words: Individual Art.  I had SO many of my one-on-one classes that month!  It was the perfect way to ease into the year.  I love my Individual Art classes, because not only do I get to hang out with some fabulous people and have them learn or perfect a skill they’ve wanted, but I also learn from them.  I know every teacher feels this way (or should!).  :)  This month also marked the first time I taught at Moraine Park Technical College for Life-Long Learning!  What a great “first” for me.  SO fun.

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  February – I had applied for a Wisconsin Visual Artists show at Villa Terrace back in January, and found out on February 4 that my piece, “Narcissus”, had been accepted!  I was THRILLED.  This was a huge deal for me, as I had just recently started painting and it felt great to have the piece liked enough to be included in this show.  It was a 3-group show called “Making a Scene”.  Definitely a highlight of my year!  :)

  This was an amazing month for another reason, too – my Detritus Project exhibit, which I created and curated, made its debut at the Langdon Divers Gallery inside the Fond du Lac Public Library!  I had the idea for this show way back in 2012, thanks to my great friends at Library as Incubator Project, but it finally became a reality as a community art exhibit in February.  I loved every single minute of this show.  :) Check out the AMAZING entries!  :D This year also marked my second year of curating the Langdon every month.  It’s so great to see all of the different art and artists come through this lovely gallery!  :)

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March – I was able to be a part of another fantastic show in March, this time with the super-cool Kate Mothes and her amazing youngspace.  This was one of Kate’s pop-up exhibits, which only ran for a few weeks in March at this great space on Main Street in Green Bay.  I feel like this show gave me street cred like I’d never had before!  Such fantastic artists involved, and most were much younger than I am (not difficult, at my age!).   The show was called Remote View and was juried by Kate and Claire Abitz (you’ll hear more about these two movers and shakers later in the year).  AWESOME.  :)

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April – April brought with it yet another show, this time at one of my all-time favorite galleries, Two Fish Gallery in Elkhart Lake!  The exhibit was called Altered States and the idea was for the artists selected to talk about a point in their art where they made an alteration, or change, in their way of working (or a new technique). My piece, “Fashion Plate”, was juried in!  :)  I met so many of my Facebook friends this evening, and made some new ones, too!  This was one of those exhibits and evenings that just was so perfect. That same evening I participated in one of Knaak + Juarez Studio’s Blank Canvas events, and began my most ambitious art projects of 2016.  (More on that piece, later!)

  May – I had the very distinct honor of jurying the student show at UW-Fond du Lac this year!  It was so fun, and really difficult!  Art professor Wendi Turchan and her students juried this show, and it was fantastic.  We wound up buying five pieces for ourselves!  This was the first time I’d ever juried a student show and the process was a life lesson for me as well.  As artists, we’ve ALL been there, where we either didn’t win an award or was just not selected for a show, period.  I’d juried before, but never in person and it really is never about a piece being “good” or “bad”, and there are SO many variables!  You can see here how I had a difficult time choosing the award recipients!

I was also in Stevens Point in May for two reasons – I had a wonderful stint as Artist-in-Residence for Tosha Tessen-McDonald’s art classes at McDill Elementary for three days in the middle of May, and I was also in a show at Riverfront Art Center there called All About Trees!  I felt so welcomed in this delightful town – and what a surprise to run into a former Fond du Lacian, Casey French, who I ran into at the Portage County Library!  He was so kind as to give me a tour of UW-Steven Point’s art department, where his girlfriend was finishing up her art degree.  SO fun!  :D

  The last “art thing” to happen in May was a game-changer in my studio…..

(Check here for that blog post!)

June – ….and because I had purchased that game-changing etching press in May, June was ALl about classes on how to use it!  I took three classes in June at Jack Richeson, where I bought the press.  And since I’ve already blogged about it (see the link, above), I won’t rehash, but here’s another monotype I did in the class, which took about two seconds with a Q-tip and two colors of ink.  I can’t wait to delve further into the wonders of this press in 2017!  :D

June also marked the beginning of Pop Up Fond du Lac, a new initiative that promotes “tactical ubanism”.  This group is great!  They have different “pop-ups” all over the city, and the first one was a two-day crêpe cafe in an unused building downtown.  I volunteered to be the curator for art on the walls, so it looked like a “real” café for two days!  I had awesome artists friends involved in the event, and the place looked great!  :D

    July – YAY!  July was ALL about papermaking, which is one of my favorite things to do (and teach!).   I taught papermaking at Lakesore Art Supplies in Sheboygan for a fantastic group of ladies, and I also taught papermaking with plant fibers at my friend Nicole Schauer’s CSA, Good Earth Farm for a group that had amazing ideas!  Then, after nearly three years of planning, the Idea Studio opened in the Fond du Lac Public Library!  This was a huge deal, as it’s one of the most innovative makerspaces in a library in the country.  I demo’d papermaking in the kitchen portion of the space, which as you can see is just incredible.  Everyone loved it!

Brian and I also had a joint show at Ubuntu Art Space!  It’s always fun to have a show but to be in a show with your talented husby?  It’s the best.  :) We had our reception during July’s Tour the Town Art Walk in downtown Fondy.  Thanks for having us, Sue!  :)

August – Well, besides the most amazing week of my art career thus far at my residency at Standard Projects in Hortonville (which I documented here, here, here, here, here, and here), which I seriously cannot overstate what it did for me, I think the other highlight was teaching a solar printing class for some of the residents of Lake View Place, an assisted living/senior apartment complex right here in Fond du Lac.  I had met one of the arts & crafts coordinators at our annual Prairie Fest, and Karen asked me if I did solar printing.  Since I did, I told her I’d love to teach, and I did!  It was a wonderful experience, and as you can see, the residents did beautiful work.  :)

  September – This was sort of my “month off”.  I did a lot of biking this month, because it was SO beautiful.  I did create this linocut, which is actually a little corner of my living room!  I love how it turned out.

I also taught another of my collage classes at MPTC!  I always have such a great group.

October – this fall was amazingly awesome in terms of the sheer variety of classes, events, and exhibits I was involved with.  October started it out wonderfully!  I led a “Monoprints, Two Ways” class for some of the members of the Fond du Lac Artists’ Association – this was a full-day class where we created monoprints with the Gelli Plate in the morning….

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….and monoprints with my etching press in the afternoon!  I just love what transpired!  :D

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I also taught a Monoprint class at MPTC – the Gelli plate is a wonder, and everyone loves what it can do!  :D

At the end of October, I set up my little corner of the Grand Kakalin in Kaukauna for the “Take me to the River” exhibit/event, which was put together by Jean Detjen.  This was the first time I’d met Jean, although we were Facebook friends before.  What a powerhouse!  It was such an amazing experience.  I can’t wait to work with her again.  And it was so fun to have so many of my Wisconsin Visual Artists – NE Chapter friends involved, too!  :D

November – November was the month of shows! It started out with Warped Milwaukee, which is one of my favorite shows ever.  This was the 6th year that I was a part of it, and I hope to do more!  Here’s the piece that I made for this year’s show, where the theme was “Elements”.  I call it “Wild Calla Lilies”. It’s made with solar-printed fabric and found materials, and then machine-stitched (disregard those grid marks!)  :D

The following week was the reception for “Adornments”, which was a show where I was featured at Two Fish Gallery in Elkhart Lake.  I had a whole wall!!  This is one of my most favorite displays of my work EVER.  :) Thanks so much to Pat and Karen Robison for their support!  :D

Later on in the month, I found out that my very ambitious 2-color reduction linocut that I had started in April (and finished in October), “A Canopy of Branches”, made it into the Small Print Exhibition at UW-Parkside!  This is such an amazing show, and it’s the first time I’d made it in! I am really happy about this.  The show starts in January – I can’t wait!

December – the year rounded out in a really fun way – I taught a holiday card class at the Berlin Public Library….

….and an Encaustic Collage class at the Plymouth Art Center (you can read that blog post here!).  :)

I also found out I’ll be in two more shows in January! The EcoSquared Show at Hatch Art House in Madison is another of my favorite shows – I’ve been in it 3 out of the last four years.  Here are the two pieces I made for the show!  The pieces need to be square and they need to be created from upcyclced materials.  I made these by printing vintage letterpress plates onto fabric and then embroidering them, and making the “buildings” from old clothing tags.  It was SO fun and I plan on making more!  :D

And last, but CERTAINLY not least – I found out that I was one of the 30 artists for the 30x30x30 show at the Var Gallery in Milwaukee!!  The gist of the show is that 30 artists create a piece a day for 30 days – a great exercise for a humdrum January!  I had an interloper in my photo showing my cut pieces that I’d start this month.  :)

Today marks my SEVENTH anniversary of being a full-time artist.  When I decided that day to make this a reality, I never would’ve imagined all of the amazing people, places, events, artwork, opportunities and experiences I’d have.  Never in a million years did I think it was going to be this fulfilling, rewarding, tough, and fun.  Here’s to another fantastic year!

2016 – The Year in Highlights! WHAT. The year is over. Okay, in many ways, the year was a long one.  I think that happens when you're learning new things, and I sure did!  

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