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#people being my friends who i make no effort to talk to as soon as theyre out of my sight bc i have no emotional object permanence apparentl
chainmail-butch · 2 days
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i was talking to a friend who's a trans woman about this. she used to be really weird about butch trans women, but ended up being butch herself. she told me she was adverse to it because "it was like watching someone leave their house completely naked. you feel maybe a little embarrassed for them but you're mostly scared for how other people are going to treat them too. [she] thought "well, [she'd] be embarrassed doing the same and maybe they were having a hard time passing. but then finding out they're doing it on purpose, [she] thought that they were making a joke of being trans, like they were enforcing the stereotype of just saying you were a woman despite not making any effort to look like one. [she] was confused as to why anyone would do that, especially when she'd been having a hard time being treated well even though she did everything to make herself like a cis girl." she hated having to put in so much effort into looking feminine but did it because she was sure that's just what you had to do. obviously, probably regardless of how she looked, she was going to be treated like shit on the principal of being trans and after actually talking to butches and thinking about it more, she decided to just dress how she felt comfortable and still be proud of being a woman.
That's very interesting to hear. That is the consistent impression I've gotten from well meaning trans women.
I had to wrestle with the whole, "declaring myself a woman without making the effort," thing. When I first transitioned I put on dresses, tried on makeup, and got cute jackets. None of it felt right. I knew, entirely, that I was a woman. But doing all of the things women were supposed to be doing made me feel even worse than when I had lived as a man, which is saying something.
I eventually figured out that there is plenty of effort to being a butch woman. There are still styles, there are still pieces of gendered clothing, there are still gendered actions, they're just hidden in plain sight. They're all the things I wanted to do and all the ways that I wanted to be perceived that I couldn't understand until someone (Leslie Feinberg) held a mirror to my face (SBB) and said Butch. Then it all clicked.
I've been doing HRT for three full years now. I've been socially transitioned for three full years now. It is work. It is a challenge. It is walking out of the house with nothing but your soul and what you choose to armor it with. For some women the armor is a dress and a full face of makeup. For me its leather and boots.
I love my sisters deeply. I love women deeply. I love womanhood deeply. But my womanhood is also deliberately not womanhood. My selfish desire is a world where I can be exactly who I am without having to justify it to every woman, trans or cis, that crosses my path. But that's not gonna happen any time soon.
As so many butches, cis and trans, have said, It is a difficult road to walk and I have no choice but to walk it.
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justablah56 · 9 months
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oh my FUCKING shit , I am about to absolutely fucking *punt* this group of boys in my sign language class holy fucking hell .
#just blahs#okay this may just be bcs i havent ever really seen ableism irl#but legitimately what the fuck#the teacher for my sign class is completly deaf right ? and there's these three guys in the back corner who are literally just .#the single most offensive people i have ever had the displeasure to exist in the same space as#the teacher will teach us smthin about deaf culture and they'll fully just be like 'oh haha why don't they just say it ?'#or today ??? as soon as shes not looking at them theyll just yell insults at her .#and then obviously *she can't hear them bcs shes **deaf*** and one of em will do the dumb highschool boy laugh like 'haha yell it louder'#aND IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO CHUCK MY PENCIL AT THESE ABLELIST PEICES OF SHIT#or theyll mock the way she talks or theyll just blatantly ignore what shes trying to teach#and my friend who knows a bit of sign bcs her dads deaf was obv fast at spelling her name and one of em calls her a tryhard#because shes actually putting effort into this class .#like literally what the hell is wrong with you . this isnt a required class . you *chose* to be here so shut the fuck up#and i dont even know what the proper thing to do here is . like . do i tell the teacher those boys over there are being dicks ?#do i just walk my 5'0 ass all the way across the class to smack them upside the hesd ?#do i throw the pencil at them ?#i dont know what im supposed to do here but FUCK im so pissed off about this#im literally just trying to learn this language and they are making it so difficult bcs every other minute theyre over there yelling#fucking hell#ableism#anyways .
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had one of them "quarterly work meetings" just now and what i have learned is that i am severely lacking in the genre of social script that dictates how to behave when first joining a group of people you will be working with regularly from that point on
#i think mostly my coworkers are all people who are fairly neurotypical and so they like. Know how to do this stuff i guess#n so i'm kinda just standing there. like a vampire. needing to be invited in for lack of practice w/these scripts#n like i briefly mentioned this in the tags of a post on my other blog yesterday but like i notice smth similar in my chem lab#it's like i'm missing the first scene of a script to a play but have the rest of it memorized blocked n ready to go#as Soon as i know that my entrance isn't like a disruption of the expected flow i'm fine!!! i can do that shit!!!!#and more recently i've been learning n mastering the opening scenes to the play of 'making online friends'#which is different from real life bc online friendship is asynchronous. realizing now that's why online/irl friendships differ sometimes#n this is also why i tend to be more actively inviting at the start of smth new like a class or semester#bc those are the periods when the ~flow~ is setting itself n if i can manage to integrate into *that* i'm good i can do this#but i don't know how to *slip in* to an existing current as an active participant. i just know how to observe n absorb#bc it's ~personal sharing time~ (lol) but like obviously being Neurodivergent(tm) i misread a lot of cues growing up#n so now the goal feels like 'transition seamlessly into thing so that you're not a despised disruption'#which is why i've become so grateful to the kinds of people who make active efforts to include new people#like. thank you communications majors. i love you communications majors. i owe you my life communications majors.#bc it's so!! 'i promise i'm not snubbing you it's just that my direct instructions were to work Here so even though you are three feet away#'literally on the other side of this wall i'm not gonna come out n initiate conversation w/you bc those are Implicit Instructions'#'/Individual Expectations that i'm too afraid of reading incorrectly but if you come talk to me i will be normal abt it i promise'#the worm speaks#like pretty frequently these days i find myself thinking abt that one post that's like#'yeah back in the olden days being a good host was a learned skill n it involved these sorts of specific things'#'like matching up n introducing guests to each other by saying 'this is x this is y you both like turtles :)'#like i feel like that's the Spirit of icebreakers these days but even if you have interests in common w/someone across the circle#it can be kind of awkward to cross the room afterwards to talk to them so you just end up talking w/whoever's nearest or no one at all
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myownprivatcidaho · 2 years
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~
#personal#ok putting this in the tags cuz its just all over thw place but. few things abt my brother and stranger things#for starters im re/watching it with my brother this summer cause he LOVES it and doesnt rlly have access to online streaming#even though i think the show sucks shit now its. honestly sth i really appreciate because hes autistic and that show is HUGE to him#like he really really cares ab it#and this all isnt. like universal statements on what the show means to all autistic ppl i just Need to talk ab what it means to him#hes only seen s1 so far but its like. it makes me wanna CRY i didnt even think ab it until he started talking a lot ab it after he saw it#cause like. a story about a girl whos different and grew up closed off from others and feels separated from others and is bullied for it#but shes not a joke in the story shes POWERFUL and finds people who LOVE her.#so sth he does is he assigns people irl to characters in movies and shows he likes. so ever since seeing s1 hes said hes like el#and theres a person who puts a lot of effort into being gentle with him & making him feel loved and accepted & he says that person is mike#its like!!!! yeah being pessimistic ab the show onlineis easy#but idk how to explain how Huge it is to watch him grow up feeling set apart and crying because he feels like nobody wants to be his friend#and just to see him LOVE this show and LOVE watching el onscreen being celebrated for who she is as a person. like thats Huge for him#and its huge to SEE secondhand like jesus man#but yeah i just needed to put that somewhere. i love him very much#but yeag we're gonna start watching soon. this moderately shifts topical directions#but basically ive been thinking ab it a lot because the new season is out and i want to watch it w him before i leave#but im SO worried ab showing him s4 if this is bad im gonna feel SO bad ab showing it to him#and theres sth about what that says ab how the shows gone thats SO pathetic im yelling.#anyways. thats not a jab on my brother im just saying i hope the duffers DONT fuck this up cause goddamn#but yeag
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rootbeerworshiper · 25 days
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make it up
chris sturniolo x fem!reader
summery: your situationship gets in the way of your fun at a pool party, especially when it’s with a flirt who you leave no other choice but to make it up to you.
warnings: smut..don’t let the cute cover fool you lol, sub!chris, lowkey both him and the reader are toxic, fem!receiving, face sitting, missionary, unprotected sex, i think that’s all
a/n: this was a struggle to write and i think it took years off my life but that’s okay!!
4.2k words
love, sienna <3
it was practically impossible for you to focus on anything other than the way that Chris looked, standing there with his chest exposed and his swimsuit hugging him in ways that make you woozy. you aren’t official, so it takes everything within you to not go and let the world know he’s yours, but he is.
you and Chris both lack a sense of commitment to romantic relationships, it’s what makes your situation so much easier to navigate. there’s a level of trust within your dynamic because you both want the same thing out of it. there’s also spoken rule of not seeing anyone else, a rule you’ve both obliged to for the past few months.
a pool party isn’t necessarily something you were yearning for, but Chris insisted that you come along with him, and you weren’t one to say no to him very often.
the sun is beating down on the comically large backyard, your scalp feeling hot and a few sweat beads trickle down your neck as you pour yourself a drink at some pop up table.
this wasn’t entirely… your crowd, but you do have a few people you’re somewhat friends with which you are more than thankful for as you create small talk near the table.
Chris has put his focus on playing volleyball in the pool with a bunch of his random friends, his wet hair falling on his forehead before he runs his hand through it so he can see the net better.
you mindlessly talk to the people around you before very quickly growing bored with the effort-fuelled conversations about the weather and whatever new couple just broke up.
it feels a bit un natural to be standing around in two small pieces of fabric that are vibrant against your skin while being completely above water. so you set your random plastic cup down and walk towards the clear splashing water that’s surrounded by concrete walls.
you opt to sit along the edge, keeping a close eye on Chris who couldn’t help but notice your presence immediately.
maybe the reason you work so well with him is because you’ve known him for such a long amount of time. he was your lab partner in junior year chemistry and as annoying as you may have found him at first, he was funny, and it was his goal to be constantly putting a smile on your face.
it wasn’t long after until he was putting more than just a smile on your face—and god was he addicting.
you let your feet sway in the slightly cold water while you rely on your wrists to keep you upright, in full view of the blazing sun.
if you weren’t going to be having a blast the least you could do is create a few tan lines.
the boy across from you tries his best to stay focused on the game, but he can’t help but pay attention to the incredibly flattering swimsuit that rests on your body as your skin glistens in the heat. your thighs squished together on the cement outline of the pool with small droplets of water dripping down them has him insanely distracted to say the least.
“cmon Chris focus up!” a plea can be heard from some random guy who stands next to him, furthest from you but still very aware as to where Chris’ head is at.
everywhere but the game.
he shakes his head, leaving you a small, playful smirk before looking back to the poorly set up net towards his eager opponents.
you watch for a while, eyes fixated on the way his tongue darts out of his mouth to coat his lips. his full focus on the same is weirdly attractive.
his back muscles are outlined perfectly in the sun. you want nothing more than to have your hands scratching helplessly over them with your nails.
soon enough the ‘game’ comes to a close, bringing your head back to reality.
Chris swims over, situating himself between your legs and placing his cold wet hands on the base of your knees. “hi” he looks up at you, blue irises highlighted in the immersive light pouring down on him.
you laugh slightly, wrapping your bare legs around his smooth back. “hi pretty boy did you win?”
“were you not watching?” he inquires, wiping stray water droplets off of his freckled face. he leans in slightly closer as if he’s telling you a secret. “definitely lost but they’re too drunk and they fully believe that i won so i’ll let them believe what they want”
another small laugh escapes your lips when the mentions of the sport remind you of a memory. “do you remember third period gym class when i accidentally served a volleyball directly at your face?”
he rolls his eyes playfully in response, a bead of water dripping down the side of his neck. “course i do, you apologized for like a week straight”
“not my fault you were walking around the halls with a black eye! i felt bad” you defend yourself passionately.
“well it actually was your fault but” Chris just schooches you slightly closer to him. hands pulling you in by your lower back so that your plush thighs make contact with his sides. “it was cute when you felt all bad and shit”
you wrap your arms around the back of his neck, fingers delicately running through the hair sprawled on the back of his head. “how much longer do we have to stay?”
“you act like a pool party is a chore” he laughs softly. “give it another half hour and then we can get ready to leave”
before you can say anything in reply you hear a familiar voice call out your name. “hey come over here! we’re shotgunning right now”
you don’t entirely want to go, your time would be much better spent with the boy in between your legs but he’s not your boyfriend, and it would feel wrong to cancel on people wanting to do something with you for him. even if just looking at his face is more than enough to keep you occupied. “i guess this is my sign to go socialize”
he fake frowns dramatically, slowly guiding his fingers up your legs until they make contact with your upper thighs. “okay lover boy i have to get up” you mutter out, fighting every urge to close the space and bring his lips to yours.
most people know you have something with Chris, they just aren’t entirely sure what. the two of you flirt constantly and tend to stick by each others sides at gatherings but usually pda is off the table for your own sanity.
today you were just a lot more needy for any form of contact with him, and you can’t be bothered at this very moment to hide from the world.
it is however annoying to constantly be answering questions about you relationship status. most of the time it’s easier to have them completely oblivious rather than curious.
so you stand up, gently taking his hands off of you before placing your feet on the cement and walking over to the girls who are standing in a patch of grass with drinks in hand—not without feeling Chris’ eyes glued to your back.
“hey you ready?” a girl asks, dark brown braids draping over her back as she hands you a colourful can.
“yeah i am, someone have a coin for me?” you ask, reaching over for the random girl that hands you the circular copper coin.
the group does a countdown and after the number one you immediately crack open the can and tilt your head back, allowing the fruity liquid to stream down your throat.
after a moment of relentlessly swallowing, you release the tin from you lips and crush it while wiping the drink off your lips.
a girl beside you practically spills her drink everywhere and you laugh with her momentarily, enjoying the small moment. this is before something catches your eye.
Chris at the back of the pool with a girl standing uncomfortably close beside him. it’s obvious to everyone around him that her intentions are anything but innocent.
people flirt with Chris all the time, he’s hot. but the way she’s practically straddling him in the chlorine water and the fact that he’s done nothing to deny her advances? you’re sick.
“hey isn’t that your boyfriend?” a random girl across from you asks, going to the table to grab a slice of water melon and handing one to you. assumingely feeling bad for you.
you shake your head, taking a bite of the flavour fruit before replying. “not… technically. but he knows better than to pull some shit like that in front of me”
she laughs softly, rubbing your arm sympathetically. all you can do is hope it’s not pity.
“what’s your name again?” you ask, trying to distract yourself from the heart wrenching sight across the still water that fills the pool. Chris hand now on the girls lower back as she talks to him about god knows what.
“maria” she replies, reaching for a bottle of sunscreen from her tote bag that rests on a random pool lounger. “and you?”
your name lingers on the tip of your tongue as you refocus your gaze onto your man who’s sitting there with a smug smirk on his face. he’s clearly amused at the girl who puts in full effort to get him interested in him.
“y/n” a fake smile forms on your face before you begin to walk towards the pool. “please excuse me while i go deal with that fucking idiot” you spit out, earning a gentle laugh in reply.
“you’re too hot to let a man like that walk over you” she adds as your back now faces her.
it’s clearly bothering you and you can’t sit back and do nothing anymore. someone clearly needs to learn a lesson.
your feet walk before your mind can even fully comprehend what’s happening. it’s un deniable that you’re in a hurry to get Chris the fuck out of that pool and your body language speaks for itself.
he sees you walking over, detaching his hands from the girl who know holds a clueless expression on her pretty little face.
“hate to break up your fun but we’re going, Chris” you mutter out, looking down at the pair as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
the girl immediately gives you a nasty look in return. “i’m sorry who are you?”
you roll your eyes, Chris now walking towards the pool ladder as you continue the petty conversation. “i’m his girlfriend”
she laughs. “really? because he told me you guys are just friends. might wanna sort that out before you get all possessive over someone who doesn’t feel the same”
there’s no point of explaining yourself to this random girl who is in full belief that she’s in the right. besides, you’re more mad at him than you are at her.
————————————————————————
“do you beg for your other friends like this?” you question, finger placing light pressure over the familiar patterned swim shorts. you’re standing over him, knees brushing against the mattressinserting your complete control in the dynamic.
it’s slightly later now. a golden hue shooting its vibrant light through the bedroom window as a helpless boy lays below you, propped up by his elbows so as to still look up at you.
he breaths out, shutting his eyes closed as if to somehow focus on anything other than the pads of your fingers and the touches they’re applying to him. “fuck no”
you let out a soft, menacing laugh at his innocence. it really is admirable how effortlessly you’re able to get him like this, his hips squirming restlessly against the soft blankets that rest below him.
as much as you’d love to be completely angry with him, it’s much more enjoyable to be petty. and besides, he’s got lots to make up for.
you hover over him, your hands placed next to his hips while your head dips down to his exposed neck. there’s remnants of marks you’ve left behind recently, something that girl from the pool consciously chose to look past. “you like it when i mark you up?” you whisper into his ear, chills immediately trickling down his spine while blood rushes to his growing length.
he just nods pathetically. there really is no point in arguing with you, he knows you’re right. it’s hilarious how he portrays himself to the world, like he’s some big tough guy who gets all the girls. last time you checked tough guys aren’t whimpering pet names in your ear while you tease them, maybe you’re wrong.
you take your time. getting lost in placing small kisses along his jaw, making a point to leave behind a noise with each one. it’s obvious he’s trying to hold back, it’s not easy for him to be like this but he knows he cums the best under your touch.
“who the fuck do you think you are pulling that shit in front of me? do you know how embarrassing that is?” you spit out, hands placed on your knees as they try desperately to relieve the tension that formed in your arms.
he just rolls his eyes, hands gripping the steering wheel while a stupid smug smirk pulls at his pink lips. “it’s getting really old when you do this shit. you only act like you’re in love with me when you’re jealous”
“in love with you? wow that’s rich. maybe i just didn’t wanna watch you suck face with some random girl in a musty ass pool” you argue. deep down he’s probably right in what he’s saying. you aren’t very good at showing emotions towards him until he shows interest in anyone that’s not you.
“please” he whines as your mouth creates suction on his collarbone, notably leaving more marks to add to his scattered collection.
his words are in vast contrast to those he was spewing on the car ride home, much less bratty.
you smile into his chest, hands running up his sides only causing more squirms in response. “please what? cmon be a good boy and use your words for me”
the way his chest rises and falls at his neediness already has you feeling the need to close your own thighs together. you need friction more than anything and your body is begging you for it.
“just touch me please, i need it” his voice practically shakes through the words. regardless of how annoyed you are with him, you immediately do as he says, palming through the thin damp fabric.
“so worked up for me already Chris, you like when im on top of you like this don’t you?” you coo into his ear as your hand moves menacingly across his length. he’s already completely hard under your touch and the combination of your words almost makes it painful how badly he wants you. “but i’m not sure you deserve to cum after the shit you pulled earlier”
his hips buck up slightly as the palm of your hands lifts from his sensitivity. “mmh how- how can i make it up to you?”
you hum, as if deep in thought. in reality you already know exactly how you want this to go, he just needs to be the unsuspecting pawn in your evil game of chess. “i don’t know…. im pretty mad at you baby”
“i’ll do anything, please i need you”
his consistent begging is like music to your ears and the last thing you want to do is press pause. your mind wanders when you think about all the things he could provide you in order to make up for his foolish mistake.
his hands.., his thighs—you even consider giving in right away and allowing him to have sex with you right here and now. but it wouldn’t be as fun to give him what he wants right away, and his toxic little mouth should really get put to better use.
you speak low, only furthering the anticipation for what he needs most right now. “i think you need to be shut up. that mouth of yours is mine yeah?” you run your finger over his lip, pulling his bottom lip down lightly until he replies to your question with another eager nod.
your lips meet with his, your tongue immediately attaining dominance within his mouth before you bite down gently on his bottom lip, eliciting a soft moan from the boy.
the strings of your bathing suit are the only thing holding you back from the pleasure you’re aching for. “Chris baby can you help me?” you bring his fingers to your hips so as to guide him to where you need help.
he gets to work right away, untying the strings and immediately causing the bathing suit to slip off of your body to leave you exposed in his line of sight. “you’re so beautiful” his voice leaves behind an innocent compliment.
your lips turn into a smile at his praise as you pick of the wet fabric that lies beneath you, tossing it to the floor that resides besides the bed. “thank you” your fingers trail up his bare chest as your legs straddle him. you make point of sitting down just slightly on his dick, enough to make him wanting more but not enough to provide him any real pleasure.
slowly, you shift higher up his body until you’re aligned with his pretty face that looks up at you with eyes fuelled with worship. “you gonna make me feel good?
he nods again, hands lifting from the sheets to your thighs to pull you onto him before you can get another word in. it’s clear how desperate he is to make you feel good and it only makes you want him more.
Chris places a few teasing kisses above where you want him, having his fun with taking his time before you sit down on him.
it begins slow, his tongue licking a stripe through your folds before focusing on your clit. he’s sure to make sure your weight is fully on him, the pressure of his pink muscle pressed against you is intoxicating.
eventually your hips begin to rock sensually on his mouth while his lips create a suction on your throbbing clit, only proving to build the pleasure you’re experiencing below.
“mmm such a good boy for me Chris. you always know how to make me feel so good” your praise only causes him to increase his speed, giving you exactly what you want. “i’m the only one that gets this- fuck. no other girls can have your tongue the way i do”
you can’t help but fuel your own ego at your situation with Chris, proudly expressing how grateful you are for him while placing subtle jabs at anyone who tries to interfere.
the pace increases. soft moans leaving your lips while his hands squeeze your ass into him, only increasing the pressure of his tongue more.
you’ve quickly forgotten about earlier. your thoughts flooded with the the sensation of his soft lips on you as his tongue inserts itself into you, curling upward.
you fall forward, your upper body becoming weak at the overwhelming speed of his tongue switching from curling into your wetness to sucking on your puffy clit.
a loud sigh escapes your lips as his fingers rub small circles on your lower back, his mouth doing all the work. it’s impossible to stay still, and his tongue makes your body move in a rhythm against his face. hips grinding hungrily into him as you approach your high.
“so good fuck, i’m close baby” you moan out, and you can almost feel his lips curl into a smile under you at how easily it was for him to make you unfold, but he quickly resumes his rhythm on your clit, desperate to give you what you need.
your stomach tenses as your orgasam overtakes you, thighs squeezing his brunette curls that rest between your legs, his tongue working you through your first orgasam.
eventually his mouth slows before you pull yourself off of his face. the sight below could almost make you cum again, his flushed cheeks and messy hair along with the wetness dripping from the corner of his mouth.
god you really do love having him like this.
you swing our leg off of Chris, laying on the bed horizontally next to him. a puzzled expression replaces his hopeful one, he’s not entirely sure what you’re getting at by laying next to him.
you speak after another moment of confusion passes by. “what’s taking you so long? thought you wanted to cum?”
he sits up practically right away, moving his body to hover over yours. you can tell he’s not entirely sure this is what you’re asking but you quickly confirm his suspicions with a short kiss, your hands immediately reaching for the waistband of his shorts. “i need to feel you”
it’s like a lightbulb goes off in his head and he’s immediately more excited than he is confused, hands dropping down to assist you with pulling down the damp bathing suit that keeps him from you.
the sight before your eyes is mouth watering but you can’t give in, still attempting to remain dominant. his dick is clearly exhausted from waiting so long, remnants of pre cum dripping down the veins that surround it.
“make it up to me Chris, i don’t wanna be mad at you after this” you demand, his hands finding your knees to spread your legs open, your centre still leaking slightly from earlier acting as a perfect lubricant for him.
“yes ma’mm” he spits into his hands before spreading the warm saliva over himself, stroking a few times before aligning himself with your entrance.
it begins slow, he always allows you to adjust to his size momentarily, just sinking into you and starting off with lazy, sensual thrusts. his face is aligned with yours, the plush pink colour on his cheeks showing just how badly he needs this—how badly he needs you.
“you fill me up so well baby fuck” you moan out, his pace inside of you increasing slightly as his tip has no problem brushing over your sweet spot.
he leans in, leaving a few wet kisses to your bare neck before whispering in your ear. “i’ve been so bad, let me make it all better”
before you can mutter out some form of a reply his hands travel to your thighs, lifting your legs so that your knees are aligned with your head. this new position only makes the feelings of his thrusts feel deeper.
he quickens his pace, hips moving in a rhythm that causes nothing but small whimpers and moans to leave your lips.
a smile tugs at his lips at your current state, your tits bouncing in the thin bathing suit fabric and your mouth in an o shape at the constant pleasure he’s inflicting onto you.
the strength of his hands on your thighs only further help push himself into you, hitting your g-spot relentlessly. Chris knows you well enough to know when you’re close, your eyebrows furrowing and your walls closing in on him, so he takes that as a sign to bring one hand down in between you.
the pads of his fingers find comfort on your sensitive clit, rubbing light circles as the pace of his hips hasn’t let up once. “fuck Chris you’re so good” you moan out, hands gripping onto the sheets beneath you.
he leans in to your ear again, voice slightly shaky as he avoids the urge to moan. “do you forgive me?” his hand moves quicker against your clit, practically begging you for a simple ‘yes’.
“mmh i-“ you throw your head back, orgasam approaching quickly.
“i need you to say it pretty girl”
the new sense of confidence behind his voice only further turns you on, your orgasam hitting you like a brick before you can even prepare yourself. “yes! mm i forgive you Chris”
at your words he continues slamming his hips into you, using your release as leverage to come to his own high that he’s been holding back for awhile.
suddenly he pulls out, giving his dick a few pathetic pumps as he releases onto your bare stomach, head thrown back and eyes shut in pleasure.
he practically plops in bed beside you, the two of you completely exhausted from the day and the events that transpired moments prior. “i’m so sorry, fuck i was stupid” he groans out, bringing his hand to his forehead to rub at his skin.
“it’s okay, we’re both kind of idiots sometimes” you giggle, placing a small kiss on his cheek before sitting up. “we really need to shower now though, we stink of chlorine”
a/n: hope you enjoyed lol i’m gonna take a break from writing on my page for a while due to burn out and such but i will still be contributing to collabs
if u haven’t read @greatooglymooglyyy or @luv4kozume fics today go do that now those are some of my fav ppl and writers on this app and they deserve all the love!!
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halfrican-heat · 8 months
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ALL MINE (Ony)
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"You come here, I'll knock your pussy out the damn frame. Remember the last time I made you miss your damn plane? Remember the last time I wet you down with champagne?"
A/N: Hey! I'm down bad for this man rn, lol. I've got lots of ideas for him though, so yay! Happy reading :) Inspired by @lingeriae and this post! Requests are open, too! Get at your girl.
Warning(s): Explicit Sexual Content; Penetrative Sex (p in v), Oral Sex (F receiving), Cursing, Public Sex (Outdoors), Cervix kissing, Wedding details, N Word Used, Black reader in mind, AAVE/Dialogue with Dialect, Dominant!Ony (when tf is he not in my mind), Depiction of marijuana usage, Depictions of alcohol consumption, Mild Dubious Consent; Beta'd by my besties <3
Pairing: Ony x Wedding Planner!Reader
Song Inspo: All Mine - Brent Faiyaz
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His eyes drilled into the side of your head, trailing the curves of your body.
As maid of honor, your dress was a little different from the other bridesmaids. Make no mistake, your girls looked good with a t on the end. You made sure of that, but you all agreed upon something more…tailored for the lady making the most moves. So, your dress was designed to your tastes and fit you like a glove. It accentuated all your assets and Onyankopon was taking stock. 
The two of you had only fucked once but there was this heightened tension ever since.
During the entire wedding process, Ony had been a pain in your ass. Because he was the best man, the two of you had to collaborate on many of the joint events-- like the Engagement Party and Bridal Party mixers. He was a terrible flirt and spent most of his time trying to get in your pants. Then, if it wasn’t you, he was flirting with any lady he could. And they would swoon just as soon as Ony flashed that handsome, megawatt smile of his. 
But for some reason, Ony liked the challenge you posed. The way you were resistant to his charms. Unfortunately for you, Ony was interested in you. He liked you.
You dealt with his bullshit for a good while, putting in a valiant effort because you were doing your best friend and fellow soror, Kendra, a favor. Y’all went back to diapers and stuck together through everything. You were a celebrity event coordinator, specializing in weddings, so you were doing double duty by being her maid of honor and planning the entire wedding. But shit hit the fan between you and Ony the night of the final Bridal Party mixer. The two of you got into a huge blowout fight that ended with your cute little cocktail dress torn and strewn about the floor of Ony’s hotel room, his tongue licking champagne from places it shouldn’t have been. 
“You doing so good, ma.” He had whispered, fucking you into his sheets. 
You ended up missing your damn plane the next morning. Needless to say, he moved up on your list of people you wouldn’t mind spending time with. But he quickly moved back down the list after he ghosted you the next day. During the rehearsal dinner, you found him talking up some girl in the hotel lounge. He made eye contact with you as he flirted with her, looking away to give her his full attention. 
So, you kept it cordial and cute after that. You acted like it didn’t bother you. Did he have amazing, life-changing dick that made you want to murder him and the bitch from the hotel lounge? Yes, yes he did. But were you a classy, sophisticated bitch who successfully planned a destination wedding while being the maid of honor and dealing with Ony’s shiesty ass? Yes, yes the fuck you were. 
And no nigga was gonna make you second guess that shit. 
The “Lounge Incident”, as your friends lovingly dubbed it, had happened a week ago. Fast forward to the present and there you were, watching your best friend dance and act a fool with the love of her life. You were happy for her, of course, but it did make you feel a little wistful.
The wedding ceremony wrapped up two hours prior and you found yourself nursing a glass of champagne at the reception. You were pretending to be unfazed by the looks Ony was sending you from across the room. You stole a glance at him when you felt like he wasn’t watching you and…dear Lord. 
His white dress shirt was tucked into his green slacks, suit jacket long forgotten, with a few of the top buttons opened. His gold chain shined at you, almost winking, as it matched the gold Rollie on his wrist. He flashed a smile to one of his homeboys and you felt your knees wobble a little. You looked away quickly and crossed the room to find your girls. They were standing around one of the reception tables talking.
“Aht, don’t bring that energy over here, ma’am!” Your friend, Chelsea, said. “That man look like he ‘bout to jump your ass.”
“Please tell me y’all not about to fuck at this wedding,” Liyah groaned.
Your girls laughed loudly and you hid a smile behind your champagne glass as you took a sip. You risked a glance back at Ony, finding his gaze already on you. He didn’t care to hide the fact he was staring at you, not even giving the young lady in front of him a glance as she spoke to him. You whipped around, clearing your throat. 
“Bye, girl. It ain’t even like that.”
The table went quiet, all the girls looking over your shoulder. A shit-eating grin spread across Chelsea’s face as she raised her hand, waving playfully. 
“Hey, Ony.”
Your eyes widened as his chest pressed against your back, his warmth surrounding you. You tried to pretend to be unbothered as your friends gawked with wide eyes and smirks. 
“Hey, ladies.”
The smile was evident in his voice, sending chills down your spine. But you took a sip of your champagne with a neutral face, not acknowledging him. In truth, you didn’t need to. He leaned down so that his mouth was close to your ear, hands braced on the table as he trapped you against his chest. His chain brushed your neck, not helping the goosebumps erupting all over your skin. His words, low so only you could hear them, didn’t help either. 
“Say bye to your lil friends so I can eat your pussy.”
He paused as you turned your head slightly, your faces close to touching. 
“And stop playing with me.”
His eyebrow arched at you as he pulled back, taking a sip from his whiskey glass. He addressed your friends again, setting the glass down. 
“Ladies,” He said with a charming smile. 
With that, he left you standing there as you slowly looked back to your friends who gaped back at you. 
“Bye.” You said finally, scurrying from the reception hall as fast as your legs would carry you.
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You found Ony outside the building, perched against the wall. A blunt hung from his lips as he gazed at you sidelong. You approached slowly, hips swaying with each step. His eyes never left yours as he sparked up and inhaled, exhaling the smoke slowly. You felt dizzy with need but you weren’t down that bad. Not yet. 
You took the blunt as he passed it to you. You let the smoke soothe you before you exhaled. You took a few more pulls before passing it back to him. 
“Take your panties off,” He said finally, after a long draw. 
You tutted, crossing your arms. 
“You just gon’ act like you ain’t ghost me, Ony?”
“I was wrong for that. But I'm here now, ain't it?” He said casually. 
You rolled your eyes, turning to go back inside. He grabbed your arm and pulled you back to him, his lips pressing firmly against yours. His mouth teased yours, opening it as smoke billowed between the two of you. His arm slid down to your waist as you exhaled the smoke he gave you. 
He took another pull, exhaling, before he looked back down at you. 
“I told you stop playing with me.”
“Maybe I'm done with you," You bluffed. "Maybe I got me another nigga to fuck on now.”
Ony scoffed, tucking the rest of his blunt away for later.
“Aight, that’s enough of that shit,” He mumbled, grabbing your hand as he pulled you to the side of the building. 
It was a more hidden spot, behind large bushes that wrapped around the front of the building and off to the side. From there, you could see guests entering and exiting but they couldn’t see you unless they were looking hard enough. Your eyes widened as he kneeled in front of you and shoved your dress up your legs. You swatted at his hands, panicking as your eyes darted around. Ony stilled, his gaze hard as he grabbed your hands and looked up at you.
“Don’t piss me off.”
Now, you were down bad. 
You took a shaky breath as he released your hands, going back to bunching up your dress. 
“Hold that,” He said, tossing your leg over his shoulder. 
You did as he asked, taking the garment in your hands. Your body flushed with heat as he shamelessly nuzzled his nose against your soaked core, smelling your needy scent. He kissed your clothed core and pushed your panties aside, holding them in one hand as he slipped a finger into your dripping cunt. He moved the digit in and out, brushing against that soft spot inside you. 
“Oh, fuck,” You whined, your head falling against the wall. 
“Yeah, say that shit you was sayin’ now,” Ony taunted, sliding another digit inside. “This pussy all mine.”
You panted, bracing yourself with a hand on his shoulder, as you forced out your next question.
“What about that bitch from the lounge, Ony?”
“I was gonna try what she was offering, but she wasn’t you,” He said easily, his eyes glued to his fingers moving in and out of you. “Damn, ma. You sucking that shit in.”
“Ony,” You whimpered. “I don’t want to play no games with you--”
“I’m not. That shit not an offer to me when you’re around,” He said firmly. “Now, you gon’ keep complainin’ or you gonna let daddy eat his pussy?”
“Ony--”
Any rebuttal you had became a wanton moan as he didn’t wait for a response, his mouth descending on your clit as his fingers continued to move inside you. You covered your mouth with your hand, trying in vain to stifle the sounds of pleasure he was snatching from you. He pulled his fingers from you gently, spreading your sopping pussy wider as he fucked his tongue in and out of you. 
He ate you out messily, drinking up your juices like sweet nectar. The slurping noises were lewd as he sucked on your clit, teasing it with his tongue before dipping it back into your weeping hole. His performance was drawing pathetic whines from your throat as you tried to keep the two of you from getting caught. Heat pooled in your belly as his mouth on your core drove you toward a heated finish. 
Then, he stopped completely. You let out a confused moan as the pleasure waned, your orgasm evading you. The confusion didn’t last long, however, as you heard his belt coming undone. He pulled himself from his pants as he tore your panties. He hiked your leg around his waist and slid home without warning.
“Hold on to me,” He grunted, his other hand supporting your back.
You wrapped your arms around him, your head resting on his shoulder as he thrust into you. His pace was rough and deep, fucking you like he owned you. Maybe he did. Maybe you wanted him to. You muffled a scream into his shoulder as his length kissed your cervix, unrelenting as the drag of his cock against your tight walls sent you into oblivion.
“Fuck, baby,” He groaned. “You so tight f’me. Takin’ me so good.”
You choked back a sob as his tip brushed that soft spongy spot, bringing back the pool of pleasure from before. Ony noticed your reaction, angling his hips to hit it over and over again. Your whimpers and moans were his own private mixtape as you keened and cried in his ear. He stretched you so good, the feeling of being this full something new and foreign to you. Ony was a bad habit, and he was making sure you wouldn’t be able to kick him any time soon.
That pool of pleasure warmed further with each snap of his hips into yours. Your quiet, open-mouthed cries built in intensity as the temperature inside you began to rise, swirling like a tsunami. You felt yourself teetering on that delicate edge and so could Ony. He picked up the pace. 
“You gonna cum on your dick?” He taunted, egging you on. “You gon’ show me who this dick belong to?”
Your climax crashed over you as you slapped a hand to your mouth, muffling the sob that broke free. He fucked you through your orgasm, prolonging it as your body seized around him. He could barely pull out, opting for shallow thrusts as you came down from your high.
You sagged against the wall, trying to catch your breath as Ony pulled out. He fixed your dress and smoothed it down around the hips. He tucked himself back into his pants and dug his wallet from his pocket, fishing out his room key. 
He flashed it in front of your dazed face before placing it in your hand. He pulled you off the wall, making sure you looked good before nudging you in the direction of the front doors. 
“Go to my room. Third floor, 303. I’ll be there in a minute.”
You looked down at the key card in your hand then back to him. He sparked up his blunt again, blowing out smoke as he smacked your ass. 
“Go ‘head, ma. I’m coming.”
You jumped slightly from the impact and found your feet moving you out of the bushes. You stumbled back into the hotel lobby, walking on wobbly legs to the elevators with his room key clutched in your hand. Your girl, Chelsea, was coming from the restrooms as the two of you made eye-contact. She smirked, her eyes trailing over you. She subtly adjusted the top of her dress, nodding at you.
You took the hint, fixing yours. 
She went back into the reception hall without a word as you fumbled to press the elevator button. 
Your night was not over yet.
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cookiescribble · 9 months
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spencer x british!reader
as a brit i would love to see a fic of a reader with a british accent and spencer adores it and mimics her sometimes
Taking It In (Spencer Reid x British Fem!Reader)
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A/N: Thank you so much for the request! This is a bit of a team effort because I’m a bit more knowledgeable about British culture (in no means an expert, I just had a hyperfixation on the Beatles and Doctor Who in middle school/ high school lmao) but Mod Angel is usually the one who writes for fem!readers. Also, we’re both American so we hope this is what you wanted! Sorry for the little wait - Mod Ghost
We also just binged season 2 of Heartstopper and tried our best to pick up on some of the language because we thought this was a really cute idea and wanted to write it as best we could! - Mod Angel
~~~
“Coffee? I thought that people from the UK drank tea?” Spencer piped up from behind as his girlfriend was pouring coffee into one of the paper cups she’d found around the canteen. 
“It heavily depends on who you’re talking to, Spencer. I feel you should know just as well as I do that everyone’s different. You didn’t profile me as soon as we started dating?” Y/N joked, to which he looked puzzled.
“Wha–no, I usually try to keep my job separate from…personal relations.” He replied sheepishly, starting to mix up his own mug of coffee. 
“That changed when we started dating, didn’t it, love?” She teased him, patting his shoulder.
It made him blush and stutter like mad, his hands waving around as he tried to scramble to find something to say. It was rare to see him speechless, but she couldn’t help but to smirk as she watched him struggle. It only lasted a few more seconds before she cut him off, reaching out and gently touching his hand.
“It’s alright, I was just being cheeky, that’s all. C’mon, let’s go back to workin’ on the case, okay?” She chuckled, leading him away from the counter with the hand that wasn’t holding her coffee resting at the small of his back as they walked. 
“I knew that!” He squealed in his own defense, which made her giggle loudly. 
*
A few weeks later, the BAU were out to dinner, taking a small break while in the middle of a case. Though, it wasn’t much of a break, considering they were still talking about the profile.
Spencer pointed to a plate in the middle of the table. “Can I have a chip?”
A confused silence fell over the table as they all looked in his direction. Spencer stared back at them, an eyebrow raised in his own confusion.
“What?” Spencer asked finally, breaking the silence.
“What did you just say?” JJ responded with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at him. 
“I asked if you could pass me a chip” he answered, pointing to the plate again.
“Where do you see chips?” Hotch chimed in, concerned for his mental stability. 
Still confused, Spencer pointed to the plate again.
“The fries?” Penelope clarified, gesturing to the same plate finally. 
“Oh.” He nodded awkwardly. “Yeah, can you pass me a fry?”
“You’re really spending too much time with that girlfriend of yours, aren’t you?” Morgan teased, grinning and playfully nudging his shoulder.
He smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said in a faux-English accent as he finally got the ‘chip’ he wanted as the rest of the table laughed. 
“Speaking of Y/N, where is she tonight?? I miss that girl.” Garcia complained from the other side of the table, 
“Oh, she went out with one of her mates–” Spencer started before Prentiss cut him off from where she was sat next to him, 
“Mates??” She asked incredulously, seconds away from giggling as he groaned and leaned back in his chair. 
“FRIENDS! Her friends.” he grumbled, finishing his food and making a mental note to not only tell but blame his girlfriend, Y/N, for everything he’d been through tonight. Not before giving her a kiss, though. The fact that she wasn’t here just made him realize how much he missed her, and it made him wonder if there was a correlation between missing her and talking like her.
The girls dropped him off at home a few hours later, where the first thing he said when he saw Y/N was ‘this is your fault’.
“Do you…want to elaborate on that or…?”
“Later.” Was all he said before he was hugging her and burying his head in her shoulder. 
She tugged him close, feeling him start breathing deeply against her shoulder as if he was falling asleep and tapped him to wake him up a bit so she could start leading him to their room. “Come along, darling, let’s get you into bed. You seem tired.” 
“I know that they’re fries but you say chips…it’s cute…” he mumbled as he walked, only adding to the confusion but she chalked it up to him being tired from a long day and let it go for now as she tucked him in with a smile at how cute he was. 
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zerosuitsammie · 3 months
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If I can take a moment to share my experience as a trans woman on the internet
My experience is by no means unique, it's just one experience in the plethora of trans feminine experiences and not unique to only tumblr. Though, I'll mostly talk about what I've experienced here. In the light of recent events, the reaction of "the ceo," and the comments he contributed regarding dog pile harassment; I simply wish to share my experiences that I have had to juxtapose the dynamic of his statements against a lived experience.
This account started as a way to document my social transition and eventually my journey with HRT. Tumblr had always had a large lgbtqia+ community. The queer people here inspired me and gave me hope. What I didn't know, but soon learned, is that there were people here who hated me for being trans. Being early in my transition I was a prime target. TERF groups would plan raids on my account. What this entailed was: rebloging my selfies into circles that would say the most vile things about me, threaten to kill, tell me I was ugly, tell me that everyone I knew thought I was a joke, I was a monster, my family hated me, that I should kill myself, they'd download and edit my photos into caricatures or depictions of violence. They would fill my ask box with hundreds of asks detailing how they'd kill me, call me slurs, describe the ways that I should kill myself, and pretty much everything else I mentioned above with the reblogs. Their words were carefully curated to try and break me, break my spirit, break my will to live. I tried reporting it. But it was impossible to keep up with, and like many others I saw no real response. Eventually I learned that I had to block all of them. 100's of blogs, eventually 1000's of blogs. My block list these days is incredibly extensive. I had to wade through their blogs, traverse sickening hate speech and imagery to eliminate entire circles of people harassing me. I became jaded to the hate speech, hardened to it. But mind you, I shouldn't have had to expose myself to all of this just to be at peace here amongst my community. I received no help, I was left to my own devices to protect myself. The people who hurt me never saw consequences. It was painful, it was unfair, and no one else should have to put the hours upon hours of effort and exposure to hate in to protect themselves like I did. But again my experience is not unique.
I have had to repeat this process of preemptive blocking periodically once a new circle discovers me. Blocking them all before they can start the process of hate all over again. A process of hate that seems to be hitting my community with rapidly increasing fervor as of late.
I've seen others experience far worse than me. The TERF circles will hunt down their personal information and doxx them. Expose their home address, telephone numbers, names of their family members. I can't begin to imagine the terror my queer siblings must feel when someone tells then that they want to murder them all while showing them that they know where you live. This is not a new thing, not a rare tactic, it happens. And we've all seen the news stories of trans people being murdered by people who planned it and were vocal about it.
I know this is depressing. And it doesn't reflect all of my experiences. I've had wonderful experiences here, met amazing people, made close friends, found inspiration, found hope. I found a community.
And it's my community, and I never want to let it go.
I do have fear that making this statement will get me banned. But, I wanted to say it. I wanted it to exist in the world so that everyone who doesn't know our experiences has a chance to understand and with luck empathize.
I'll part on these words and hope for the best both for myself and for every member of the community.
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neptuneiris · 11 months
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cardigan (3/3)
I knew you, leavin' like a father, running like water
pairing: modern!aemond × best friend reader!
summary: being in love with your best friend since high school becomes a strong and unavoidable feeling. until it starts to become more difficult when you get to college and the two of you, especially him, meet new people.
word count: 8.8k
previous part • next part
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After forcing yourself to forget about Aemond, start having every intention of having fun with your friends no matter what and get a few drinks… you did it.
You managed to have fun and have a really good time with your real friends.
Even though you got your heart broken, you felt really bad and had to endure that ugly sharp pain in your chest along with all that sadness, pain, anger and disappointment…. you drank and forgot about everything to focus on the moment.
You even met new people, all friends of Ryan's.
The next day, in Sara's room at the dorm, you didn't even remember their names or almost half of the things that happened at the party.
Until she reminded you herself and showed you videos of everyone together with those people dancing and having a good time.
Then, remembering what had happened before you decided to have fun, you felt that urge to cry again.
Fortunately Sara didn't ask you about him, it was as if she had forgotten about him and you were thankful for that since you didn't have to talk to her about anything.
However, after Sara does you the favor of taking you home, even though the place doesn't really feel like that anymore, nervous, cautious and not really having the energy and courage to face him, you still open the door of the apartment and enter.
But you get the big surprise that he's not even here.
Incredulous, you think to yourself that he must have stayed with his girlfriend again. And you quickly attend to Vhagar and yourself, wanting to occupy your mind so that you don't seriously cry at that moment.
Did he really completely forgot my birthday?
You didn't even need to know, the answer to the question was pretty clear when you got to the apartment since he didn't show up for the rest of the day either.
And you didn't know if you felt grateful for it since you didn't want to see him or it made you feel worse about the fact that he really had completely forgotten you and your special day.
So the best you could do at that moment, was to take a bath, eat a little and then look for a job again around your area.
You want to keep your mind busy, you don't want to think about him, so you don't rest and you don't take your eyes off your phone until you find a job.
Until you finally find a job at a flower shop near the university as the store's receptionist and where the working hours fit your schedule perfectly. They don't ask for experience either.
That day, even though your head hurts and you still haven't recovered one hundred percent from the previous party, you take pills, get some rest and head to the flower shop.
And the next few days, it's back to living alone in the apartment.
Since you completely ignored Aemond's messages that night, neither you nor he have spoken again, not even a phone call.
You no longer ask him if he will come to eat, what special food he wants in case he does, where he is or where he spent the night.
You don't do it anymore because you no longer want to or care.
You also no longer do his laundry, the little he has here really, and now you simply clean up the mess you make and only buy food for yourself.
He probably has to come to the apartment when you are in class and you are grateful for that, even though you feel more broken inside every day that passes and you see again how he completely forgot your birthday.
He doesn't say anything to you, he doesn't even make the slightest effort, he doesn't see you and doesn't seem to have the intention of doing so any time soon.
Does it hurt? Yes, very much.
But you know you are no one to tell him what he can and can't do, who he can and can't be with.
Just as you don't have to remind him that it was your birthday, nor should you tell him that he forgot all about it.
He knows what he is doing, he makes his own decisions, he is no longer a child,… and neither are you.
That's why despite being very upset, sad and broken, really not wanting to you still force yourself to try to communicate with him.
You've got the job and there's a dorm room available at the residence halls, so now you just want to give him the key to the apartment.
Although nothing would be better than just leaving and nothing else, but you know you can't do that.
After all, he helped you a lot financially by offering you your own space here, basically for free.
But yet when you text and call him a few times as you start packing, he doesn't respond.
He responds very late at night only telling you that he's staying the night with Alys. And when you ask him if you can see each other and talk, he doesn't respond anymore.
Until more days go by and you unsuccessfully, feeling really annoyed with him, you tell yourself that enough is enough.
You ask Ryan to help you transport your things to your new home and you definitely break all ties with Aemond by bringing Vhagar with you as well.
With him pretending you no longer exist, as if he didn't have his best friend living with him, or apparently so it was, so now you also do the exact same thing.
You pretend he no longer exists and just walk away.
And now as you settle into your new home, which is not at all like where you used to live before, you still like it and tell yourself that you will get used to it soon.
It has nothing more than the small square space with your bed, your closet and desk, also a small bathroom.
You only have to buy a small refrigerator now while everything else like laundry is already offered by the residence on the first floor.
You know your room will be a small place for Vhagar but she doesn't seem to mind as she settles into your bed and falls asleep once you start unpacking.
Until the weekend comes and your friends make noise in the group chat saying they want to party on Saturday.
And you, thinking you wouldn't be in the mood, agree to go and have some fun.
It's already been a full week Monday through Saturday morning that you started your new job that you couldn't have liked any better. So you want to get all the stress out.
Most of all you want to get the sadness out of your system because of work, your classes and also because of him.
It's also been a full week since you moved, so not wanting anything to do with him anymore, you head to the one person you know will help you with the matter: Helaena.
Helaena also studies at the same university, she also lives in a dorm room, only that she studies biology.
So once you send her a message asking if the two of you can meet, she gladly accepts and you arrange to meet in her room.
And soon enough she finds herself opening her door to greet you.
"Hi Y/N!" she exclaims happily and wraps you in a soft hug, to which you smile.
"Hello Hel."
"Where have you been? I finally see you."
She asks you as she pulls away from you and looks at you a little confused, without erasing her charming smile.
"You know…" You shrug your shoulders, a little nervous, "I've been very busy with my classes."
And even though that's not the real reason, she still believes you.
"Oh yeah, sure, me too, it's a nightmare. Come on in."
She steps aside so you can come in and you do, immediately feeling nervous because you know you'll have to tell her about everything that happened with her brother.
"Even so, you didn't come to the ball."
Helaena says to you suddenly and you watch her as she closes the door behind her.
"I thought it was weird since you always go to my family's ball."
"Yes…" you say a little uncomfortable, "I… I did…
"But it seemed so weird to me that all of a sudden Aemond took his girlfriend when he said that…..
She stops suddenly, then looks at you with her eyes wide open, now softening her confused face, watching you intently.
"Oh, don't tell me," she murmurs.
And all you do is bite your lips and lower your gaze for a moment in sorrow.
"Don't tell me you didn't go because he took his girlfriend."
You let out a long breath and at that moment, taking advantage of the fact that she has already brought up the subject of him and his girlfriend, you decide to tell her everything that happened.
The ball, how you now live alone in his apartment when it wasn't supposed to be like that, his conversation with Alys, his irresponsibility with Vhagar and finally your birthday.
"Oh I'm going to kill that son of a…
"No, Hel, please."
You ask her, not wanting to talk about him anymore.
"It's all done now. I don't want to cause any more…
"You? Cause anything?" she interrupts you, incredulous, "Y/N, you couldn't cause anything, it's all caused by him and his obsession with that girl."
"She's his girlfriend," you say with pain in your chest, "It makes sense."
"Yeah, but you don't put your best friend down for a relationship, Y/N," she says obviously and with an annoyed tone, "And believe me when I tell you that when I met that girl she didn't give me any good vibes. Mother seemed to some point pleased, but Nyra with her look told me everything, so did Aegon and even my uncle Daemon."
"Really?"
You ask her really interested in it, since apparently you were not the only one who felt that way when you met Alys for the first time.
"Yes, really," she assures you, "They all asked about you, Daeron, Jace and Luke too."
You lower your gaze with a sad expression, since you haven't seen Aemond's little brother or his two nephews who have always been very kind and funny with you.
You are also struck by the fact that Aemond did not tell you that his family had been asking about you at the ball.
Maybe he did it so as not to make you feel bad.
"Aemond didn't even answer them, he didn't even seem to know what to say. He just immediately introduced them to his girlfriend," she says with a pout.
You let out a long breath.
"Well, I still get the idea of how much fun everyone had. I saw your pictures and videos on Instagram."
"I just can't believe he told you at the last minute when you already had everything ready that he was taking his girlfriend," she insists, really annoyed, "And yet after making plans the idiot forgot your birthday?" she inquires.
"It doesn't matter anymore, Hel, that was a little more than a week ago," you say not wanting to give more importance to the matter, "In fact, I came here because I wanted to know if you could do me a favor, now that we are talking about it."
Helaena, still annoyed to hear everything you told her, still nods.
"Sure, what is it?"
"I…
You bite your lips, feeling nervous to tell the sister of your best friend, or ex best friend rather, about the new chapter of your life.
Mostly because after this, Aemond will finally know everything soon enough.
"I've gotten a job in a flower shop and I've also moved into a dorm. Don't worry, I have brought Vhagar with me, now I will take care of her."
You assure her the instant you know she would ask you about Vhagar.
"And even though I didn't want to, I had to try to communicate with Aemond, but he never responded and I never saw him around the apartment, so I just left because I couldn't delay any longer. To this day he doesn't even know anything."
Again Helaena's soft, tender face contorts in anger.
"That fucking son of a….
"So…" you interrupt her, taking the things from your backpack, "Here is the key to the apartment and also this envelope with money to pay him for the troubles."
You look at her with a certain sadness and with the hope in your face that she will take care of this after Helaena sees everything in your hands and again returns her gaze to yours.
"Could you hand it over to him, please?"
And now it is Helaena's turn to look at you sadly and with compassion as she looks at your hurt face and understands what you went through and what you are going through now.
"Oh, Y/N…" she says disappointedly, "I'm so sorry for my stupid brother."
And again she pulls you in a soft and comforting hug that you allow since you really need it, even though you avoid breaking down crying at that moment.
You know Helaena probably won't tell him anything, but you still don't want to cry in the arms of your ex-best friend's sister.
"Don't worry, Hel. And nothing that happened with him will affect our friendship either," you assure her in a sad voice.
"No, of course not," she says instantly, hugging you a little tighter.
After a few more moments like that, they both separate and Helaena takes the key and the envelope with the money.
That money was sent to you monthly by your parents and you decided to give it to him. Now with your job at the flower shop, you can get that money back for your needs.
But for now it feels good to give it to Aemond because despite hearing that horrible conversation between him and his girlfriend, you do it mostly to feel better about yourself.
And after talking a few more moments with Helaena, you both finally say goodbye and you walk through her door.
You both agree that one of these days you could go for a coffee together. And just as you are about to leave, Helaena stops you with her words.
Words that leave you completely still, and then you look at her again with a slight surprise on your face.
"I always believed and hoped that you and Aemond would end up together, you know," she says with a sad little smile, "I know you were best friends, but I always had a feeling, always.
At that moment… how you wished her words would have been true.
How you would have wanted that to happen.
You think with illusion, sadness and disappointment, and then just try to smile even a little in her direction, say goodbye one last time and leave.
Later that night, after crying a little and trying to cheer yourself up by getting ready to go to the party with your friends, you arrive at the frat house and the party starts right then and there.
At first, cautious, you are kept alert by the fact that Aemond could probably be here with his girlfriend or with his friends, or maybe both.
But fortunately for you, there is no silver-haired guy with a black haired girl in the crowd, so you can feel at peace.
Immediately the party games like beer pong and drinking begin.
Until at some point of the party, you realize while talking and having fun with Aileen, that again Ryan's friends have joined the group, three guys exactly.
And as you're all dancing together, having a good time, you're drinking and forgetting about everything, really enjoying yourself, you suddenly find yourself dancing and singing the songs at the top of your lungs with one of Ryan's friends, Cregan Stark.
A tall guy, dark brown hair, with black eyes and features that can't go unnoticed.
Cregan seems to have his eye on you and you have yours on him.
Eventually the two start talking, being close, dancing together, even taking pictures and videos of each other, and then the two sit on one of the sofas and continue talking.
The two very close to each other to the point of almost kissing.
Maybe it was the alcohol, the moment, the party or just that you wanted to have this kind of moments with some guy, because Cregan is really handsome and you really wanted to kiss him.
However, all the guys arrived just at that moment to keep you company and rest a bit after having been dancing for a while.
Cregan didn't seem to mind, you didn't really either, you both just smiled at each other, although he had that little disappointment on his face from the interruption.
It remained as that pending between you and that's why he asked for your number.
The next day, apparently that interaction and closeness between you and Cregan was noticed by everyone, but more so by your friends who squeal and excitedly talk about him and you.
You find out that he's a law student, a year older than you, likes dogs, plays the guitar, and apparently isn't dating anyone.
You didn't want to get your hopes up with him, because you knew that meeting a guy and him suddenly having an interest in you at a party is usually not a long-term interest and is just for the moment.
But the expectation went up the moment he texts you and asks you if you want to have coffee with him on Tuesday morning before you both have your respective classes.
And you respond, or well, your friends respond more excitedly than you, that you accept.
"Girl, the guy is handsome, tall, funny and a really nice guy, what more could you ask for?"
And in that, Aileen is right. However… there is a problem. And that problem has a name: Aemond.
Aemond has ruined every guy for you in many ways, both physically and personality-wise.
And even though he wasn't like that, he really was a very bad friend to you and all his decisions hurt you. That's why agreeing to date Cregan is easy.
You also tell yourself that Aemond doesn't matter anymore. He has a girlfriend, he's living his life apart, and so are you, and you and he are no longer friends.
So once Cregan tells you that he is already waiting for you outside your dorm, you rush out.
Excitedly you take one last look in your mirror, make sure nothing is out of place, also make sure Vhagar is okay and head for the door to leave with your backpack on your shoulder and your phone in hand.
But when you opened the door, you clearly didn't expect to see your ex-best friend about to knock on your door with a totally bewildered, confused, worried and to some extent distressed and desperate look on his face.
"Y/N...
And you are totally paralyzed the moment your name leaves his lips.
At first, you don't understand what he is doing here or how he knew exactly where you were now since you didn't tell Helaena anything about your new home.
In fact, you didn't say anything to anyone he and you know together. However, you do know him.
You know that he just by asking anyone he can find out anything he wants to know, including finding people, simply because he is Aemond Targaryen.
And then you start to panic and you feel very nervous because he's really here.
"W-what are you doing here?" you ask him in a bewildered whisper.
In an instant you tense up and hold tightly to the edge of your door, watching him intently and alertly.
"What am I doing here?" he asks in a totally bewildered voice, "What are you doing here?" he says, now certainly annoyed.
"I-I don't… I don't have time for this, okay?"
You try to walk past him, bearing in mind that Cregan is waiting for you outside and you don't want to keep him waiting any longer.
But you can't stop your heart from beating too fast and you can't stop this agonizing feeling in your gut at the sight of him now after so many weeks.
"Are you serious?"
He stops you by taking your arm in a firm grip, making you stand in front of him again, with the most bewildered, confused and annoyed look you've ever seen on his face.
"I come home calling you, wanting to talk to you, having this stupid idea that you were busy or something, only to find out that Vhagar isn't there, neither are you and neither are your things," he says to you incredulously, "I thought something bad had happened to you Y/N, I was so worried. I started to go crazy because I couldn't even call you or send you messages, nothing was getting through to you."
And at that moment, everything you were feeling, is replaced by hatred and anger for very clear reasons and that he, seeming surprising to you, doesn't see or even realize.
He probably wanted to talk to you about your birthday, but he couldn't call or text you because since you moved out and he had no idea, you decided to block him from everywhere.
But really, even though you feel weak from his unexpected appearance, his words don't make you feel anything but hurt and angry.
"And do you have any fucking idea how it made me feel when I called Helaena and she told me you got a job and moved into a fucking dorm just making everything worse?" he asks you annoyed, "All this without me having a fucking idea, Y/N."
The way he tells you everything, you immediately tell yourself that you won't react the same way even though all that flows through your system is one thing: anger.
So instead of talking to him in annoyance because you don't want to and don't have the time to explain yourself more than necessary, you talk to him calmly in comparison to him.
He is visibly frustrated and looks more bewildered than ever.
"Maybe you would have known… if you had answered my calls or messages, Aemond. Or if you had shown up even once at your apartment."
And you overemphasize your apartment.
"All that was over a week ago, much longer in fact, and you barely care to know about me or Vhagar," you say bitterly.
He shakes his head, looking more distressed and worried than before.
"I-I…" He lets out a long breath, "And what the fuck is this supposed to mean?"
He asks you again in annoyance, clearly after he has no idea what to say to the previous and from his jacket pocket he takes out the money you gave to Helaena for him and also the key to his apartment.
"For your troubles?" he raises the money in annoyance, "And the key for what? Are you really going to stay here definitely?"
"The money is because I didn't give you a single penny to help you financially and the key so you have more privacy with Alys every time you get home and I don't have to be there locked up in my room… stopping you," you explain without much interest, "That's what you wanted, isn't it?" you raise your eyebrows expectantly at him.
But he is speechless, staring at you in surprise, bewilderment and anguish, his whole worried expression speaking for itself.
"Did you…" he pauses in concern, "Did you hear us that night?"
You deliberately ignore his question.
"You wanted me to meet new people and go out more, also give you your privacy…well, I'm doing exactly that. Now leave and don't ever come back."
And without further ado you close the door behind you firmly and walk away from him to head for the stairs and finally leave to meet Cregan.
But because of the circumstances and everything Aemond must be feeling, he doesn't let you go so easily.
"Hey, no, stop," he says in a warning tone and then grabs your arm and immobilizes you as you turn towards him.
"Let go of me."
"Y/N…
"I have to go. Someone is waiting for me."
"Y/N, please…" he calls pleadingly, "You don't have to lie, I-I…" he runs a hand over his frustrated and anguished face, "Was all this for your birthday?"
At his question, you say nothing, just continue to stare at him with the most serious look ever, now just pressing your lips together and waiting for him to let go so you can leave.
"Y/N…" he calls you cautiously and with worry in his eyes, "I know I fucked up, I know that….
"Oh please, Aemond," you exclaim irritated, "I don't need any more of your pity, okay? I really don't care what you have to say, it's all done. I gave you the key back and the money too, didn't I? Now you won't have to pity me anymore and your girlfriend will be pleased to know that I won't interfere with your plans anymore."
He lets out a long breath, more frustrated than before and completely irritated by your words.
"It doesn't matter what you heard that night, Y/N. It doesn't matter what Alys said either," he tells you in desperation.
But you don't care anymore.
"I've done my part, now leave me alone."
Again you try to leave but he again won't let you go.
"Will you stop running away!? I want to talk to you, I want to fix this!" he says in exasperation, "I don't want your key and I certainly don't want your fucking money, I want you back with me!"
And that's when you can't take it any longer and you finally explode in anger at him.
"Now you want me to be with you after always leaving me out of all the plans we made for your girlfriend and leaving me living alone!? Do you really think I even want to see you and be in the same place as you after everything you done!?"
He is about to answer you, but a third voice between you stops him and also the whole discussion between the two of you.
"Y/N?"
Both you and Aemond turn your heads and from the stairs Cregan Stark looks curiously between you and Aemond, almost worried.
You know your screams must have been heard all the way to the first floor considering your room is on the second.
"Is everything all right here?" he asks you softly and attentively, turning to you.
Feeling embarrassed that he might have heard everything, which is most likely, you finally loosen your grip on Aemond and control yourself by telling yourself that it's all over now.
"Yes, everything is fine," you put on your best face, or try to, "Sorry, I was on my way out. I didn't want to keep you waiting too long."
"No, it's fine," he says nonchalantly, "Although I did come to hurry you a little," he confesses with a small, embarrassed smile, "At the coffee shop we're going to, the coffee you like is on promotion, but only until ten o'clock, so I want to get there to buy it for you."
In other circumstances, Cregan's words would have made you feel on the clouds, but because of what was happening before and with Aemond present, his words have no effect on you.
Especially because of Aemond's confused and intimidating look at Cregan, clearly annoyed by the interruption, as well as wanting to know who this guy is and realizing that you really had someone waiting for you.
"Yeah, yeah, let's go," you nod in his direction, "He was just leaving too."
You say with a certain bitter and obvious tone turning your head towards Aemond, but without looking at him to which you immediately feel his gaze on you, but you ignore him.
And not wanting to keep Cregan waiting any longer, you head towards him, take him by the arm and lead him along with you towards the stairs, leaving Aemond behind.
After you and Cregan start heading towards the coffe shop, you try to pay attention to everything he tells you, but you can't.
You pretend to listen to him and collaborate a little in his conversation, feeling bad about yourself but you can't help it since all you can think about is Aemond.
And even though Cregan tries to bring up the subject, clearly because it's obvious he heard you were arguing, you quickly evade him.
However, he tells you that he believes he has seen Aemond before and has heard a lot about him. Also of his sister, Helaena.
But overall, this going out or rather date? with Cregan… did not turn out as you expected and as you wanted it to because of Aemond's unexpected visit to your new home.
And once again, you find yourself out of balance because of what happened with him now.
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Latch by Disclosure and Sam Smith is heard throughout the house of the most popular party frat house and the one that never disappoints.
At first, you thought about not partying with your friends and Cregan since you weren't in the mood and didn't want to have to deal with a hangover the next day.
However, Cregan is the one who convinces you and now the two of you are dancing along with all your other friends having a good time, singing at the top of your lungs and forgetting about everything.
The whole party is going amazing, you're still not drinking too much, you're having fun with your friends and Cregan most of all.
Until you are catching your breath to continue dancing with Cregan, both of you apart and talking, suddenly your gaze is focused on the entrance of the house and Aemond Targaryen makes an appearance holding Alys' hand with all his friends also entering behind him.
Instantly you want to leave, because you know you don't feel comfortable now with the presence of your ex best friend knowing what happened the last time you saw each other.
And even more so when he notices you standing apart, with that guy from before, the two of you very close and talking, now realizing your presence.
But you pretend not to see him even though your heart starts beating fast when you feel his gaze.
When you stop feeling that he is looking at you, then you see him and still holding hands with Alys both of them go to the kitchen. And that's when you say to yourself: no.
He is not going to ruin this party with your friends. He came here for the sole purpose of having fun, which is the point of the party and so are you.
You decide to leave the feelings behind and continue having fun as before.
You drink some more, resume dancing, singing and playing party games, just forget about him and focus on you, what you are doing and the people around you.
When in the kitchen, while you are pouring more drinks for Cregan and yourself, something happens that you least expected and that causes you a lot of confusion at the same time.
However, somehow you must have known that Aemond would be coming for you.
"Y/N."
He calls out to you and when you look at him, you again meet his gaze a little worried but also hopeful that he might talk to you.
But of course, Alys must be by his side clinging to his right arm, watching you with a certain indifference.
And you, preferring a thousand times to ignore it, unfortunately still do not finish preparing the drinks, so you decide to act indifferent.
"Yes?" you say without even looking at him.
And just with your indifference, which Aemond notices perfectly, only makes him more frustrated, but not wanting to explode again against you, he can only try to relax and start with what he wants to say as calmly as possible so as not to push you away.
"Are you…" he swallows hard, looking at you apologetically and a bit nervously, "Are you enjoying the party?"
However, his question couldn't have been more pathetic for you.
"Yes, very much in fact."
You answer without further ado, putting everything back in its place to finally get out of the way and leave. And that's what you do, you turn around with your drinks in hand and walk away.
But he stops you instantly by standing in front of you.
"Y/N," he calls out to you pleadingly, "Can we go outside and talk, please?"
And you, wanting to take your indifference further, even more with Alys' presence, that's exactly what you do.
"About what?"
"About the other day," he tells you more cautious and attentive than before.
And you frown at him.
"Was there anything else to say?"
He lets out a long sigh.
"Y/N, please…
"There you are!"
Again Cregan's voice interrupts the conversation between the two of you and Cregan, without even noticing Aemond, turns to you with a small smile on his lips.
"I went to the bathroom for two seconds and I had already lost you," he says amused, "You need help?"
He points to the drinks and you nod.
"Yes," you extend one to him, placing a soft smile in his direction, "This one's yours, actually.
"Thank you, my pretty."
And maybe it had been again the interruption of the same boy from the other day, that makes Aemond can't help but feel annoyed.
But maybe it's more from the fact that he tenses up and watches him with a clenched jaw as he hears that word from him towards you.
Pretty.
Both he and you think, but you really couldn't care less as you watch between Cregan and him over the nickname.
And feeling Aemond's burning gaze, Cregan finally seems to notice the presence of Aemond Targaryen himself.
"Oh, hey," he smiles friendly, "Sorry, we've met before, haven't we?"
And Aemond, really annoyed, just bites the inside of his cheek and avoids showing his irritation, as well as the discontent he feels towards the guy.
"Yes," he says without looking at him, with a cutting tone, focusing again on you.
"Yes, sorry again," Cregan tells him again, "It's just that we weren't introduced."
And after Cregan says that, you're sorry but you want to murder him.
Especially since now Cregan is watching you too, already having the smoldering stare of your ex best at you and the guy you're apparently starting to have… something with.
Not to mention the judgmental and irritated look from Alys as well.
And you, having no choice, introduce them to each other.
"Aemond, this is Cregan, my friend," you point to Cregan, "And Cregan, this is Aemond, an old classmate at high school."
And finally you point to Aemond, without looking at him too much.
And again, everything in Aemond contracts and his whole bewildered look is reflected on his face after hearing your words.
Even Alys stirs in her place, watching Aemond intently.
A strange feeling in his chest invades him and all his disappointment, as well as his sadness, is reflected even though he tries not to be.
But the way you said it, your look, your attitude, everything about you makes him feel miserable and makes him recognize that he has definitely lost you.
Especially because after that, you don't waste any more time, you take Cregan by the hand and excuse both of you to go back to your friends, not wanting to be around him anymore.
After the party goes on, Aemond can't enjoy the moment. Even Alys next to him doesn't get his attention, neither do his friends.
All he sees is you, with him, the two of you dancing, laughing and close to each other.
He's certainly never seen you having fun like that before, never in the company of a guy he admits he recognizes; he seems like a really nice guy.
An unpleasant feeling turns his stomach and he feels it in his chest again when you laugh at something he has said, he slips an arm around your shoulders and leaves a kiss on your cheek.
His jaw tenses and he can't take his eye off of you, to some extent starting to annoy Alys by his lack of attention.
And Aemond loses it completely the moment he turns his face towards you, you turn your face towards him and the two of you kiss.
All the friendship that the two of you and Aemond used to have, you and Aemond, passes right in front of him in that moment.
Everything, from the beginning, from high school to college, with both of you moving into the apartment, having movie nights, having breakfast and dinner together, grocery shopping, everything.
As well as all the bad stuff caused by him, which he admits to, like all those nights he left you behind for Alys, the ball and your birthday.
Unable to take it anymore, totally ignoring Alys and everyone, with the hardest look on his face, he leaves the house in an act of desperation and
He moves away from all the people, from Alys, from you, because he can't see you having fun without him, he can't see you with other people, because it was always him.
And knowing that he was the one who caused your friendship to end, he takes a seat on the stairs leading to the house and starts smoking.
But even he doesn't understand himself.
Isn't this what you wanted?
His mind asks him, as confused as he is, who with a bad face and feeling like a complete idiot, continues smoking, thinking that it would be better to go back home.
But without you… it doesn't feel like that anymore.
He stays thinking for a long time, without Alys bothering to look for him, which he is grateful for since he has more time with himself.
While you, still at the party, continue drinking and sharing a kiss or two with Cregan, not really caring that you're among friends and other people.
But the moment with Cregan ends when he tells you that he has to leave, even showing you some messages from his sister asking him to pick her up at a party outside the university.
He asks you if you want him to leave you too, but you prefer to continue having fun for a while longer. You both say goodbye and stay with your friends.
Not long after, however, they all get really drunk. Even Ryan.
So as the four of you leave the house, ordering Uber's and laughing amongst yourselves, that's when Aemond sees you.
Confused, he throws the rest of his cigarette away and stands up from the stairs, watching you intently. And noticing your condition, he actually gets worried.
You can't even stand firmly on your feet.
And all you remember is having a brief conversation or discussion with someone, that someone also talking to Ryan, then you feel yourself being carried, you protest a little, and then all goes dark.
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The moment you open your eyes, completely numb and feeling like a mess, the pain in your throat, body and head begins.
You groan under your breath, scrunching up your face and holding a hand to your forehead, feeling as if your head is about to explode in constant sharp pain.
You let out a sigh, closing your eyes and trying to calm yourself down so you can get through the pain easier, but it's impossible.
You drank too much, that's for sure, your body is confirming it. But what you don't know is where you are.
Alarmed, you quickly reopen your eyes and look around you, worrying because you don't remember who you left with last night and whether you came to your room or someone else's.
When your whole face contorts in confusion as you realize that this room is not yours, nor is it Sara's or Aileen's room. In fact, this room you know and you know it very well.
You open your eyes wide and don't understand anything, beginning to get seriously alarmed and worried.
What the fuck am I doing in Aemond's room?
You think to yourself as you force yourself to ignore all the internal pain you are feeling and get out of bed.
You quickly put on your shoes, make sure you have all your things with you and leave the room, hoping he's not here.
But of course he must be, because as you walk out into the hallway, with your things held against your chest, you hear sounds and very low music coming from the kitchen.
And as you slowly, cautiously approach, you see him, preparing breakfast, moving back and forth across the kitchen with his back to you.
Hopeful, you watch the door ahead a few feet away from you, then look cautiously again at Aemond, who fortunately has not noticed your presence.
You think to yourself that you could head for the door without making a sound and leave without him noticing. Being here with him in your old home doesn't please you, especially since you don't understand how you got here last night with him.
But you don't care, all you want to do is leave.
However, before you can try to do anything, he turns to grab something from the counter and sees you.
"Oh, you're awake," he says with a soft tone and a calm look.
At this, you don't say anything, you just watch him, hoping that by your look and your posture he understands that you already want to leave.
But he, at your lack of words, continues trying.
"You must be feeling very bad, you were very drunk last night. Here I have left you a glass of water and a pill, it will help you after you finish breakfast," he points to the bar, effectively pointing to a glass of water and a pill."
You look away from him for a second, wanting to let out a snort, since you definitely don't plan to stay here for breakfast and it's silly of him to think so just because you're here.
"What am I doing here?" you ask him, serious.
And by your tone of voice, Aemond is surprised and also disappointed, since he thought that things between you and him would never be like this again.
But how wrong he was.
Still, with relaxed posture and soft tone, he answers you to keep the peace as much as possible between the two of you and you don't leave, which is what he fears the most.
"You were very drunk last night, and so were all your friends," he explains.
"Ryan was supposed to take me and my friends to my doorm," you tell him seriously.
"Your friend was really drunk too, Y/N," he says in a more serious tone, "He couldn't handle the three of you. And I certainly wasn't going to let you go in that state, you could barely walk.
You press your lips together, thinking about the party and your friends, to again look at the door in front of you.
"Well… thank you, but I didn't need your help," you say curtly, "Not now either."
And without further ado you head for the door, catching Aemond unawares, who quickly reacts and stands in front of you, grabbing your arm.
"Y/N, please wait…
"I need to go.
"Where to?" he asks frustrated, not believing you.
"That doesn't concern you. I don't want to be here," you tell him annoyed, again trying to pass by his side, but he doesn't let you.
"Please," he repeats pleadingly, "Please don't do this anymore. Just stay."
"Let me go and let me pass," you warn him.
"At least just stay for breakfast," he insists desperately, "Let's talk and then I will take you to your dorm, I pro….
"Will you stop!?"
You explode furiously at him, unable to hold back any longer, feeling more headache and pain all over your body, but you don't care because you're tired, you're fed up and because you've had enough.
While he remains completely silent and observes you slightly surprised by your reaction, since he had certainly never seen you like this before.
At least not with him.
"I don't want to be here, I don't want to have breakfast with you, I don't want to talk to you and I don't want to see you!" you exclaim annoyed, "Can't you really see that? Can't you see that you and I are no longer friends? Can't you see that you're hurting me?"
"Y/N…" he says to you in a low tone, with a thread of voice: "Don't say that...
"You shouldn't have brought me here, you shouldn't have even tried to talk to me, because I don't want to talk to you, I want to get away from you and I want you to respect that!"
And without being able to stand it anymore, tears start to run down your cheeks, but you ignore it totally and continue watching Aemond with the most hurt look of all.
"Stop trying to play savior with me Aemond, because I've had enough."
"Playing savior with you?" he repeats in bewilderment, "Y/N, you are my best friend, I don't….
"No, that's not true, I'm not your best friend, I'm nothing!" you blurt out again furious, "A best friend doesn't hurt his best friend, doesn't leave her aside for a relationship, doesn't replace her, doesn't leave her living alone and certainly doesn't forget her fucking birthday, Aemond!"
Then again Aemond is speechless, watching you with his eye wide open, his lips half open, while you start crying in earnest, unable to control yourself.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N," he says to you, in a low, broken-toned whisper.
"No, you're not!" you reproach him, upset, crying, feeling broken, "If you were really sorry, you would have apologized since after my birthday, not until now that weeks have passed," you tell him hurt, "And that hurts, Aemond, it hurts that until now you have realized it, that until now you are looking for me, always treating me as the second option!"
The first tear falls down Aemond's right cheek, looking at you with a hard, but still broken expression.
"I'm so sorry, I really am. I care about you, you know that….
"No, that's not true, you don't, you don't care about me!" you contradict him again, crying.
And finally you are able to pass by his side, leaving him in a state just as broken as you are, while you wipe your tears and try to control yourself, when you can't. You still want much, much more.
There is still much, much more you want to say and you say it as you stop before you touch the door and stare at Aemond with as much sadness, hatred and anger as you can.
"You left me aside for Alys, you included her and took me out of our plans, you left me living alone here with Vhagar, you forgot my fucking bir…
You stop, sobbing and breathing hard, trying to calm yourself down.
"You forgot my fucking birthday for her and her parents while I was waiting for you, believing your stupid promises so that in the end you never showed up and only to remember me weeks later and a real friend doesn't do shit like that to his best friend if he really cared, Aemond!" you tell him crying, "I never was that way with you and believe me that having a boyfriend even so I wouldn't have been."
Then everything, both for him and for you stops, because hearing you crying and seeing you so broken, leaves him completely immobile and as broken as you are by your words.
Words and feelings of yours that he had no idea about.
While you, unable to take it anymore, finally open the apartment door and leave, wanting to get away from here and him, because that's what you want and…. he lets you.
He doesn't go after you, like he would have, because your words, everything about you, has left him completely paralyzed. He had never seen you like that, so destroyed and in tears.
And that he was responsible for those reactions of yours, reactions that he hates to see in you, makes him feel more stupid and guilty than ever.
And at that moment he realizes, that this time he has definitely lost you and in a very bad way. He has lost his best friend because of his own actions.
He feels miserable. More miserable than you.
And after that… nothing was ever the same again, both for him and for you.
You didn't see each other again after what happened in his apartment, you didn't even hear from each other through social media, because you had blocked him from everywhere and that's just felt better.
The two of you continued with your classes and in separate ways, as before, only now he was also aware of it and not only you, now with the difference that the friendship between the two of you no longer exists.
To a certain point you knew that he was still having a relationship with Alys Rivers, while you, you had to realize that starting something with Cregan, something more formal, would not be possible, at least not on your part.
You are still so in love with your best friend and so hurt that you didn't want to start something with Cregan knowing that you didn't feel anything beyond that for him. You didn't want him to be your distraction, because it wasn't right.
Your distraction was something else, something you still don't know what it is but you desperately need. Until two weeks after what happened with Aemond, that distraction showed up.
At the end of another semester of your career, an exchange program was opened for the next semester with destinations to Winterfell, the Iron Islands, Casterly Rock, Highgarden and Dorne.
There were also destinations to Essos, but you decided it would be best to go to Highgarden since with your excellent academic record, you entered the program with all expenses paid.
At the same time that you would go to classes, you would also have your internship with one of the best psychologists by being his assistant and start training yourself with his cases. You would even get paid for it.
The semester lasts six months, six months away from Kings Landing, that being exactly what you need.
So after going through all the necessary processes, you were finally given a departure date to Highgarden to begin a brief but important chapter in your life.
You gave the news to your parents, who were happy for you, wished you much success, and even let Helaena know who texted you to ask how you were doing. You never tried to talk to him.
And after the day arrives, happy and at ease with yourself, you board the plane taking Vhagar with you and hope that this will help you put it all behind you.
While still at Kings Landing University, in one of the coffee shops on campus, Helaena and Aemond Targaryen enjoy a good coffee, both serious, not talking much, just him and Helaena lost in their thoughts.
Helaena let him know the news and honestly, he doesn't know how to feel.
He is happy for you, but knowing that you are gone and will be back in up to six months, with no more friendship between the two of you, makes him feel even more miserable.
"She's in love with you, you know?"
The sweet voice of his sweet sister makes Aemond, in a fatal state, as if he hadn't slept well for days, raise his gaze towards her without really having much expression.
As Helaena shows him with her gaze how terribly honest she is being with him at that moment.
"She didn't tell me anything, but I just know," she explains.
And Aemond again lowers his gaze, running a hand over his chin, letting out a long breath.
"You really fucked up, Aemond. I can't believe you were such an idiot."
"I know," he says in a low, emotionless whisper, "You don't have to say it again, I know."
"So what then?" she says, "Get that brilliant brain of yours working. You can't be the smartest guy in your class and at the same time the biggest idiot with the girl who has always been there for you."
He shakes his head, only feeling worse just talking about you.
"Hel, I don't want to…
"Are you really going to let her go?"
His sister interrupts him with a look more expectant than ever, watching him attentively, while he swallows hard and observes with a serious and sad look Helaena in front of him.
And he doesn't answer because he doesn't want to, but because he doesn't have an answer to that question, mostly because he hadn't thought about it before.
Will I really let her go?
He asks himself, but the truth is… he doesn't know.
Aemond knows it's already too late but he also feels that that's not entirely true. Maybe, just maybe… he has another chance. And his last.
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thank you very much for reading and for joining me in this short way, it makes me so happy that you liked cardigan very much, there are more stories for you on the way, wait for them:)
besides, there's still the epilogue, that's when we'll say goodbye to this story for good🥺❣
@letmeloveyouuuu @ohdemimonde @carriellie @jennifer0305 @serving-targaryen-realness @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @ttkttt @melllinaa @nyenye @hoziersfairy @introverbatim @happinessinthebeing @hnslchw @padfooteyes @riseandreigns4u @shessthunderstoms @strangersunghoon @aemondslefteyeball @1950schick @ammo23 @targaryenmoony
there were many of you that I could not add to the taglist, an apology.
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hgfictionwriter · 27 days
Text
TLC
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Summary: Reader finds themselves in a very overwhelming situation and Jessie is there to care for her and protect her as best she can.
Warning: Mention of sensory overload, but that's about it.
A/N: Based on this request. I went non-smut for it and went fluff and comfort instead. Full disclosure, though I'm neurodivergent, I'm not autistic - so I wrote this based off my own experiences and those of friends who are autistic. I mean no disrespect if I've misrepresented in some way.
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Jessie smiled as you talked excitedly about the museum you'd both just visited. Jessie had a rare break between club and national team obligations and you were on vacation together - something you'd been planning for months.
You both stood, swaying gently back and forth with the movement of the subway train and you both looked over as the next stop was announced. Jessie swallowed subconsciously as the platform came into view and she saw the hordes of people clamoring at the edge waiting to get on. Her head snapped back to you as soon as she felt your hand come up to her arm and grip her. It only took a moment to see the apprehension on your face.
"Hold onto me," Jessie told you softly, leaning in and imploring you to meet her gaze.
A thought struck Jessie as the door dinged open and she scrambled to reach into your backpack, making sure to keep her feet planted to avoid being moved. She smiled triumphantly a moment later as she held up your headphones and began placing them over your ears.
"It's going to be really loud in here," she told you and you nodded your thanks. You watched out of the corner of your eye as people streamed in, pushing each other out of the way to secure a spot in the car. You shuffled in closer to Jessie who stood as tall as she could and pushed herself back against anyone who was trying to move in.
Even with Jessie's efforts, by the time the doors closed - needing a few attempts as people were still struggling to get inside - the train car was packed. People were shoulder to shoulder and back to back.
Bodies jostled into one another as the train started to move again and your grip tightened on Jessie's arms. She tightened the arm she had wrapped protectively around your waist, her other hand grasping the grab handle above her to hold you both steady.
Jessie watched carefully as your gaze darted back and forth, taking in all of the people around you. She saw your shoulders tense further, inching up towards your ears. She gave you a small squeeze and tilted her head to catch your eye.
"Close your eyes. Or, eyes on me," she mouthed. She smiled reassuringly at you. "I've got you."
Jessie relaxed a touch when you kept your eyes trained on her before eventually closing them and cuddling into her further. She leaned in and kissed your forehead.
She glanced up at her watch, it shouldn't have been this busy right now, but maybe there was an event of some kind that had gotten out. She sighed and looked over her shoulder at the map. Three more stops.
As the train began to slow again, Jessie turned her head back to you to find you watching her. She smiled and leaned in, speaking louder so you could hear. "Do you want to get off here? We can wait for a bit or find another way."
You shook your head. "I'll be fine." And you meant it. It wasn't good - but you were managing and Jessie was being an incredible support as she always was.
Jessie studied you for a few moments, looking for any signs that she should refute your response, but eventually nodded her acceptance.
She watched over her shoulder, waiting and hoping that people would leave and give you more space, but unfortunately even though a few people got off, it seemed like just as many got back on. Again, she planted her feet and scrupulously watched everyone navigating around you, working to box them out as best she could.
The remaining legs of the ride were painfully slow, but with Jessie's help you were managing. You tucked your head against her at one point and Jessie rest her cheek against you, now and then tilting to kiss the side of your head.
The train began to slow again and Jessie pulled back a bit, inviting you to look at her.
"Our stop," she mouthed with a gesture of her head to the doors. "Hold onto me tight."
When the train shook to a stop and the doors opened, Jessie gave you a quick once over and grabbed your hand; you gripped her tightly.
Jessie frowned as she began to make her way through, very firm in making a path for you and glancing back often to make sure no one was pushing you.
When she stepped out onto the platform she immediately stepped to the side, making sure to not let go of your hand, but now bringing up her other hand to brace your back and guide you off.
She walked you both to an empty part of the platform and turned back to face you. She gently grasped your arms. Even though you were okay with her touching you - one of the very few people who was - she was mindful that you were likely very overstimulated and didn't want to make it worse. She watched you tenderly, letting you readjust and respond when you were ready.
Although some effects were lingering, you felt worlds better already. You steadied your breath for a bit and eventually let yourself fall into Jessie's waiting arms. She held you close, her embrace warm and steady and so very comforting.
When you were ready, you stood back and took off your headphones, tucking them away.
"How are you doing?" She asked, searching your face for answers. "What can I do to help?"
"I'm doing better already. I just needed a moment. I want to get out of here, though."
"Yeah, we should get some fresh air," Jessie agreed. "Are you ready to go?" You nodded readily. "Okay, then. Let's go."
She took your hand once again and led the way through the station, making sure to give any crowds a wide berth. When you approached the escalator she stepped to the side and held out her arm ushering you to step on first. She got on behind you and served as a buffer to keep from anyone getting on too close.
You breathed a sigh of relief as the cold night air hit your lungs when you stepped outside. It felt like whatever residual weight had been on you was now lifted.
You released Jessie's hand and took a couple of steps away to further reset. You looked over to her and despite how long you'd been together, some small piece of you was still slightly caught off guard by how tenderly she gazed at you. You'd dated others before and no one quite got you like her.
When you first met, she was keen to learn how to respect your boundaries, even how to help maintain them with others, and how to help you cope when things got to be too much. She never once made you feel like a burden. You'd apologized once before and she was unwavering as she told you to never be sorry for having different needs.
You smiled at her.
"Thank you," you said. Her smile brightened.
"You don't need to thank me. You know I love you," she told you.
"I know." You really did, too. "I'm lucky."
She chuckled. "Come on. I'm lucky. I don't take for granted that you feel safe with me. I'm grateful that I can be close to you."
You smirked. "You are very special." She beamed at this. She dug the toe of her shoe into the ground momentarily, her hands in her pockets.
"Do you mind if I kiss you?"
"Please do."
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snaillock · 10 months
Note
could I pls ask for a boyfriend's Nagi x male reader? like him having a weakness for the reader and being like a puppy with him? idk if I'm explaining myself idk how to put it in words 😭 I love blue lock and there's almost no x male reader with them so I'm excited to find this sorry 😓
nagi x male!reader
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AHHH my first request!! tysm for asking i would love to make this! i also got curious and only found like three nagi x male readers (two of which were smuts that i was too uncomfortable to read☠️) but don't worry im here to save the day. this also ended up being a lot longer than expected but still really hope you enjoy!! ^^
tags: male reader, sad nagi backstory moment, me getting too carried away with build up again
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you were one of the few people who didn’t look at nagi like he was some anomaly. while others in your school would steer clear and gossip about him behind his back, you were one of the only people who spoke to him and treated him like an actual person and not some freak of nature
you would try to talk to him in class but he wouldn’t talk back (since “talking is such a pain”) so you assumed you were bothering him and eventually stopped.
nagi eventually noticed you wouldn’t talk to him in class anymore and it didn’t bother him at first. but eventually he finds himself missing it and would make the rare effort of trying to initiate conversations with you.
that led to you guys talking every day during class. the more you two spoke, the more you realized how much you had in common with him. you soon asked him if he wanted to come over to hang out.
he usually rejects any hang-out offers from literally anyone. though when you asked him if he wanted to come over to your place to play video games together, he accepted because he found you to be less of a hassle to be around compared to others.
when he came over, he realized he actually really enjoys being around you and had fun spending his time playing games with you. he even took a look around your room to admire all the things you’ve collected that represent your personality and interests. this only made him more captivated by you and wanted to be much closer friends
now for the exciting part
once some time has passed and you two got closer, you soon find out he’s a shamelessly clingy person both emotionally and physically.
whenever he would see you, he randomly wraps his arms around you and latch onto you. he hates being forced to let go whenever you two have to go to class.
he gives absolutely zero fucks about being publicly affectionate with another guy in school, paying no mind to the weird stares and whispers
he constantly wants to stay over at your place and when you come over to his for the first time, he introduces you to choki (a hugeeee moment for him trust me)
nagi truly loves being with you. at first, he didn’t care about being an outcast until you showed up in his life and showed him what true friendship and love was like
soon his feelings for you as a friend develops into something much more unfamiliar before he can realize it. falling in love was definitely a new experience for nagi and falling in love with you specifically was a slow delicate process
he definitely didn’t realize for a while that he likes you in that way until he finds himself admiring you as you somehow have soft lighting all over your face and pink flowers and hearts circling your head (all in his imagination my boy is completely whipped). he then thinks, “hmm this feels like one of the shojo mangas i’ve read befo- ohhhhh!”
once the initial shock is over, he’s already bold enough to confess to you quickly after. i can imagine him suddenly telling you how he feels in the most random scenario ever.
it would be so out of nowhere. you guys could be out walking in the park. you casually sip out of your bottle when he nonchalantly says, “wanna be my boyfriend?” with his signature neutral face, making you choke and cough on your water.
he would then elaborate on how much he likes you with the plainest face ever like it was a regular tuesday conversation. the one difference is the light flush on his cheeks and you can definitely tell that he truly means all of it. so once you stopped coughing, you obviously accept his confession
if you thought he was already pretty damn clingy prior to you two becoming a couple, then be prepared for that to increase tenfold
holding hands isn’t enough for him, ideally he needs to be super glued onto you permanently for the rest of his life
you guys are definitely the couple people gag at when they see you both curled up cuddling each other in the hallway.
once again, he gives absolutely no shits. he needs to show off what an amazing boyfriend he has so he’ll never tone it down on the pda
on the very very rare occurrence that you're not with him and you happened to be talking to someone else in the hallway, he sees this and immediately gets a little possessive. so he walks up right behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on you. you assume he's just being needy again and find it cute, completely unaware of how he's now glaring deep into that person’s soul from over your shoulder. i mean you’re his man and his man only so everyone needs to know.
he requires you to pet and run your fingers through his hair for a low minimum for uhhh 2000 times a day. you swear that he purrs every time you do it but when you try to listen out for another one, he already fell asleep on your shoulder
whenever you guys are cuddling either at his dorm or your place, he just lays his entire body weight onto you like a heated blanket while resting his head on your shoulder with your fingers carded through his hair. if you try to gently nudge him off so you can get up and use the bathroom, he audibly whines and eventually relents. he totally tries to follow you into the bathroom after that.
whenever you compliment or praise him, he looks totally unaffected but internally, he’s jumping around screaming. meanwhile, he will randomly drop the most endearing and beautiful arrangement of words at you in a completely neutral voice and just move on with his day like you didn’t just witness the most flattering thing you’ve ever heard.
loves whenever you randomly grab his chin and give him a short but very sweet kiss.
nah actually scratch that. nagi loves kisses from you anytime anywhere. fleeting cheek kisses before you both head to class. kisses on his forehead as you hold him close under the covers. drawn out victory kisses you both finally finish a difficult match together. no matter what it is, he always helplessly melts into each one.
before you appeared in nagi's life, his world was just one big dull pain he simply had to push through every day. now that he had you by his side, he finally had the motivation to get out of bed every day.
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jinhyun · 1 year
Text
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—mean it.
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader, oc x reader
genre: angst, fluff, smut, college au, dance major hyunjin, art major reader
word count: 16.2k (i'm so sorry omg)
summary: hyunjin crashing at a party he wasn't initially invited to, with the one and only purpose of seeing you, could either go incredibly wrong... or incredibly right.
warnings: mansion party, drinking, cursing, heavy making out, foreplay, very slight fingering and handjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), MINORS DNI!!!!
a/n: hellooo, here it is!! this monster of a one shot!!! i am so sorry to those of you who aren't into long fics (i feel you my bbs i'm one of them lol) but you can always take your time and read this in a couple of days or something idk :')
either way i hope you guys enjoy and please, please, pleaseeee let me know your thoughts on this. it really took me more effort and time than i had initially calculated lmao and i would really love to gossip about it with you guys<3
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Feelings were something Hyunjin had avoided all his life. Or at least for as long as he had learned the meaning of them, along with the implications of being in a formal relationship with the one person you allegedly had said feelings for.
He just didn't understand why anyone would want to complicate things with them, when they could simply live in the moment and be with anyone they wanted, whenever they wanted. No strings attached seemed like Heaven, and the best way to live your life.
It had worked for him all these years. No complications. No misunderstandings. Just meaningless sex, with girls who knew beforehand they would not be getting anything else from him. If they were lucky enough, they might get to be with him more than once in the name of having a good time, but that was it. That was all they would ever get. That was all he would ever give to someone.
Up until you came into the picture.
You had come to change his entire world without a warning, as you were the exact opposite to him by not being afraid of your feelings — if anything, being in love with the whole concept of them. You were shameless when it came to them. You were in love with the idea of love.
You had feelings for him, and you did not try to hide it one bit. You knew that he knew about them, yet you did not try to play it cool or to even deny it. No, you embraced it. And that was both annoying and terrifying to Hyunjin.
He didn't know how to react to that. He didn't like feelings. He didn't want complications. He didn't want commitment.
But then he found himself caring a little too much about you and Changbin hooking up.
And he found himself looking for excuses to spend time with you.
And feeling his chest tighten at both the sight and thought of you and his friend.
Until he kissed you. And suddenly he didn't only feel all that about you and his friend alone, but about you and anyone else. You and anyone who wasn't him.
He started caring a little too much about you. Wanting to be with you at all times. Wanting to kiss you at all times. Wanting to talk to you, to make you laugh. Wanting to make you feel better whenever you were down, and be there with you through all your achievements.
He started wanting you all to himself.
Just like that, he got caught in the complications he never wanted, and the commitment he had so diligently tried to avoid.
And it took him to lose you for it to hit him why he had found himself caught in all those situations he so confidently claimed to despise.
Feelings. That was the answer. His feelings for you. The very ones he had tried his best to look past and now could no longer deny.
The very ones that ended up bringing him into a house —not to say mansion— he had never been to before, surrounded by people who were mainly strangers to him, looking for the one person amongst all of them he only cared about.
Changbin had called Soyeon as soon as they arrived at the mansion, so she could open the door for them and let them into the party they were both crashing at. Hyunjin only got to greet her before he realised he was third wheeling a matter of seconds later — flashbacks to that one time he had found them making out in Minhyuk's kitchen coming to mind and making him cringe, being enough to excuse himself from them and decide to wander around on his own instead.
Taking a look around, he couldn't help but curse under his breath over how fucking big the place was. He was pretty sure the fancy living room alone was bigger than his entire shared apartment with Seungmin and Bin. The marble stairs to the second floor looked straight out of an upper class movie, and he failed at counting all the doors that were at simple sight.
How the hell was he supposed to find you in here?
He was not giving up that easily, though. He had literally only come here because of you, after all. So, with a subtle shake of his head, he made his way through the many acting majors so he could reach what he thought would be the kitchen. You being there getting a refill or just hanging out seemed like a very high possibility.
Only you were not.
There were only a few people in there, and after doing a double take, he came to terms with you simply not being there. Letting out a sigh, he walked up to the counter and poured himself a drink, taking a sip of it as he pulled his phone out and scrolled down on Twitter — maybe you had posted something that could give him an idea about where exactly you were inside this endless-looking place.
"Hyunjin?"
His head snapped towards where his name had came from — having been too focused on his phone to fully take in the femenine voice, yet hoping he would lock eyes with you. Instead, he found himself locking them with Lee Somin, an acting major he had met at a party last year and ended up taking back home that same night.
"Somin…" he couldn't help but sound disappointed.
"Hey" she smiled. "Wow, I haven't seen you in a while".
"Yeah, it's been like… a year?" his eyebrows knitted together deep in thought.
"I'm pretty sure we ran into each other last term" her lips curved up in a way he could tell she was flirting. "But yeah, a year more or less".
Hyunjin nodded, silently looking down into his cup as he considered taking another sip.
In all honesty, he couldn't care less — neither to remember how long had it been, nor to keep this conversation going. It had only been a one time thing, after all. He had maybe seen her one or two times on campus after that. Not important enough for him to keep track of.
He should have considered the possibility of running into his past hookups when coming here. Any other time, he wouldn't have minded. Three or maybe even two months ago, he wouldn't have minded in the slightest. But tonight he only wanted to find you. Entertaining any kind of conversation with those he had been with at some point before you was truly not part of his plans.
"Didn't think you'd be here" Somin gave it another shot at initiating small talk.
"I wasn't," he blurted out. "I mean, it was last minute".
"Couldn't turn down having some fun, huh?" she raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer to him.
Hyunjin moved away, slightly, not to seem rude. "Uh, yeah… I just…"
"Maybe we could stick together" she proposed with a smirk, and he couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was way past tipsy by now. "We had lots of fun together last time".
"I'm actually here with someone" he confidently informed her, both to her and his own surprise.
"Oh? I thought dating wasn't really your scene?"
"It wasn't," he agreed. "It just sort of happened".
"Who's the lucky girl then?"
Hyunjin shrugged.
Y/N. You. Of course that was the answer, what he wanted to believe — what he wanted to be true. But going around telling people that you two were together was not the most ideal of moves. Not when it was not true. Not when he was trying to win you over again and didn't want to hurt you nor make you mad any further.
"Well?" she pushed it. "Don't make me think you're only making it up to keep me from taking you home with me tonight".
He rolled his eyes, taking a long sip of his drink and muffling his answer. "Y/N".
"What?"
"Y/N," he repeated, louder this time after having swallowed. "I'm with Y/N".
The smirk that had just curved up her lips at the sound of your name almost made him sick to his stomach. "The artist?"
He nodded.
Somin shook her head in amusement. She did not believe him for shit.
"I mean, I heard that around a couple of times but I just couldn't believe it" she chuckled. "You guys must be in a pretty messy relationship then, considering she's been very lovey dovey with Na Heesung tonight".
Hyunjin found himself physically having to bite his tongue, not to say anything he'd regret later. "You know where she is right now?"
She shook her head no. "I ran into them like an hour ago and I haven't seen them since. Maybe they're in the backyard, or in a room upstairs".
Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist at the last remark. There was no way, right? You couldn't possibly be hooking up with Heesung as they spoke.
"Funny" he took another sip, letting his body lean against the counter.
"I mean it, though" she cocked an eyebrow. "I've seen a few couples go upstairs and not come back yet. Apparently it is a thing to hook up in a mansion with as many rooms as an apartment complex. Not like Yurim cares anyway".
"She wouldn't" Hyunjin mumbled.
"Y/N?" Somin wondered, looking up at him before her stare softened. "You guys are really together?"
Once again, he fell silent, staring into his cup like his life depended on it and shrugging her question off.
As if on cue —and almost as manifested by him— your laugh was heard in the living room, getting closer by the second. And before Hyunjin could straighten himself up in order to walk towards where he had heard your voice, you entered the kitchen. Much to his disdain, in the company of the one and only Na Heesung.
"Hyunjin-ah" you said the moment your eyes abandoned Heesung and locked with Hyunjin's first thing, clearly surprised by his presence.
"Hey, Y/N…" he smiled, not bothering to acknowledge the guy next to you who had just excused himself to pour yourselves a new drink.
Hyunjin would be damned to look at anyone else right then as you were right in front of him looking like that. You had gone for the black dress you had shown him through the picture he had whined for, and if he had died at the sight of you in it through his phone's screen, he was sure he had reached Heaven by now. The way you had decided to let your hair down in the end, somehow only managing for him to find it harder to breathe.
That button down black dress would be the end of him, that was for sure.
He wanted nothing but to pull you to him right then and run his fingers through the smooth fabric of it, which hugged your body so beautifully he found it hard to control himself.
Oblivious to the thoughts going through his head at the mere sight of you and your choice of clothing, you smiled back. "I didn't know you were coming?"
He cleared his throat, snapping out of it. "I was invited last minute".
You nodded understandingly, eyes travelling from him to the girl by his side, whose presence you were only now noticing. Not taking his eyes away from you, Hyunjin saw your smile be erased in a second, and that was all it took for him to realise you were putting two plus two together and not exactly getting four out of that sum.
"I see…" you tried to smile again, accepting the new drink Nana was offering you.
"Not by…" Hyunjin rushed to explain, throwing Somin a quick glance before his eyes were back on you. "She didn't—we're not…"
Your smile grew bigger, genuine, at his poor way with words. "It's okay, I get it".
"No but—"
"We just came here for drinks, so…" Heesung spoke up, trying to help you out of that situation and earning himself a glare from Hyunjin while at it.
"Ah, yeah" you agreed, giving Hyunjin and the girl one last look as you followed Nana out of there. "Have fun, you guys".
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
Having come all the way here, Hyunjin had most certainly not expected that to be his first encounter with you.
He had come all the way here for you, to see you. Running into one of his past hookups and having her next to him right as you ran into him, making you believe he had come here with her, had entirely defeated the whole purpose of him showing up.
Sure, the main reason he had come here was to make sure you and Heesung wouldn't end up hooking up —or worse, becoming a couple— by the end of the night, but it was also so he could spend some time with you. He wanted to be with you. Maybe get a drink together. Talk. Laugh. Win you back.
And every hope of his to get to do just that tonight had been shut down not even fifteen minutes into the party.
Running a hand through his hair as he and Somin walked out of the kitchen and parted ways, he found himself feeling not only frustrated over the whole situation, but also embarrassed as hell after being caught in his own white lie to the girl.
He tried his best to put all of it past him and once again look for you, not wanting to give up just yet — coming up with excuse after excuse to try and take you away from Heesung the moment he saw you again, so he could finish explaining himself. Just a couple of minutes would do.
"Guys, guys!" a blonde yelled from the other side of the room, where a small group of people was sitting down on the floor. "We're about to play a game, in case anyone wants to join!"
Not thinking much of it, Hyunjin resumed his way through the living room on his search for you, shaking his head in amusement when he saw Somin run towards them and sit down in the circle that was only getting bigger and bigger.
And he would've actually walked straight past said group of people and out to the backyard, if it weren't for the fact that he caught a glimpse of you — already sitting down on the floor, careful enough not to have your dress accidentally roll up your thighs. Surprised not to see Heesung next to you, he looked around, almost not believing he had left you all alone in a room full of strangers, about to play a drinking game.
That didn't last long, though, for the next second Nana was back in the picture, sitting down right next to you —in a spot you had apparently saved for him— and placing a black jacket on your legs. You smiled, visibly touched by that considerate gesture of his, before you shifted into a more comfortable position now that your legs were mostly covered. Into a position closer to him.
"Hyunjin, you're playing?" Somin asked from the opposite end, snapping him out of it.
Only then he realised he had been staring for too long — more eyes on him than he would've enjoyed, all of them waiting for his answer so the game could begin.
Hyunjin shook his head no, walking over to the closest wall and leaning against it as he faced the human circle that had just been created. "Just watching".
Feeling your familiar stare on him from the corner of his eyes, he locked them with yours, and he could see you shift in your place as you became nervous under his piercing stare. No one else but Heesung had seemed to notice the subtle change in your mood.
Your eyes only broke contact when the same girl that had announced the game for everyone to join before began to explain the dynamics of the so-called 'whisper game'. It was simple — one person secretly asked a question to another one, the latter answered out loud for everyone to hear, and whoever wanted to know what the question was had to take a shot.
Hyunjin could only thank that they had gone with that drinking game instead of the cliché spin the bottle one. Although he might've played this time around, in hopes to get to feel your addictive lips on his one more time. The idea of you kissing someone else, however, was not nearly as appealing — not to say horrifying.
This whole different game was pretty boring from the sideways, he realised ten minutes in. Hearing answer after answer without getting any context as to what had been asked seemed pointless, yet he could not find himself to be interested enough to sit down and play, nor indifferent enough to leave — not when you were still playing.
The only time he had felt the urge to join was when this other guy had gotten close enough to whisper something to you and make you laugh quite loud, which was followed by a shake of your head and a confident "no". Half of the people there had not hesitated to drink up and crawl over to the guy so they could find out what he had asked you, and Hyunjin would lie if he said he didn't consider taking a shot right then.
Other than that, he could feel himself grow bored.
Up until a redhead asked something to Heesung later on, causing him to look shy for a moment there. And, you see, that itself was not enough to catch Hyunjin's attention, he could not care any less about the guy and what he had to say. But seeing him lean in to whisper something in your ear, when it wasn't even his turn to ask, had him tensing up on his place.
You seemed a bit taken aback by whatever it was that Nana had told you — your eyes unconsciously going up to Hyunjin for a millisecond before they were back on Heesung. And then you nodded.
As if mimicking your actions, Nana nodded as well, fixing his eyes back on the girl who had asked him a question before he finally answered. "Y/N".
The girl covered her mouth as she squealed, that simple action having people taking shots like their lives depended on it — all of them obnoxiously cooing once they got the answer they had drank for.
Only you had seemed not to drink. Maybe because you already knew the answer, he thought. Maybe that's what Heesung had whispered to you before announcing your name to everyone else. Maybe he had just confessed, and he wanted you to be the first one to know.
Hyunjin's head was all over the place — the mere idea of you and Heesung together, and him being too, late made him want to scream.
As if that wasn't enough to freak him out, Heesung's turn to ask was next. The second he leaned in to ask you something, Hyunjin knew he was taking the shot.
Having heard the question, you sat back up, conflicted eyes once more locking with Hyunjin's, as you seemed to look for the answer deep down you already knew.
And for a moment there, just for a second, Hyunjin thought he would be your choice. Whatever the question had been, whether important or not, he thought his name would be the one abandoning your mouth next. However, he was proven wrong the second your eyes went back to Heesung.
"You".
Heesung smiled, and Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist for the second time that night — only now he could actually feel his knuckles turn white out of anger. Out of jealousy.
Before he could stop himself, he was taking a seat next to you and snatching from your hand the shot that had previously been refilled, not even caring about the stranger next to you he had just shoved aside to get some space in between, and most definitely not thinking twice before he was downing it all in one go and feeling the liquor burn its way down his throat.
"You can't just get in the game whenever you feel like it" you quietly recriminated him.
Hyunjin shrugged, staring at you in such a way you knew he was not giving this up. "I already drank, so tell me".
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
How you had found yourself to be in such a situation was beyond you.
The party had been going great for the first hour and a half. You and Heesung had been stuck together the entire time, taking things to the backyard and sitting down on a bench by the pool, just talking and laughing the night away, joining in eventual conversations with his classmates — yet somehow preferring to just be the two of you for most of the time.
It had been later on when everything had seemed to go to shit. When the two of you had gone back inside after you had gotten cold, and Heesung proposed going to the kitchen to get more drinks. You had agreed to it in a heartbeat, laughing on your way over there, as having another drink sounded just perfect to you.
Until your eyes met Hyunjin's first thing once in there.
And maybe it wouldn't have really mattered to you that he was there, if it weren't for the fact that he had company.
You couldn't help but feel stupid right there. Two months. You had been trying to get over him for a little over two months now, and you still felt your heart squeeze at the sight of him and someone else.
All you could do right then without being too obvious about the evident change in your mood was to greet him — quickly, barely acknowledging him before moving on.
That's why you had thanked Heesung for getting you out of there as soon as you were back in the living room, and why the drinking game was perfect timing. You had not even hesitated before you dragged Nana to join it with you. You would get to avoid Hyunjin and his date —or whatever that acting major was to him— and get your mind off the way your heart had felt at the sight of them together.
Of course, you didn't count on her wanting to play as well and sitting down right across from you. At least Hyunjin didn't seem interested enough to join in as well — you surely wouldn't have been able to handle his answers to the possible questions he would've been getting, especially when he seemed to have come here with someone else. No matter how hard you had tried, you realised right then you weren't nearly halfway getting over him. You were nowhere near ready to see him with someone else just yet.
The questions had been pretty silly at first, everyone was having a laugh and drinking for the sake of it. Or, well, for the sake of gossip. Drama was something that seemed far away from the game. Up until this one guy asked a girl who she'd rather make out with in the party and she answered with no hesitation. From then on, the questions began getting more serious, spicier.
You had been too busy laughing at Heesung when a redhead —whose name you had learned was Minseo— used her turn to ask him of all people a question, to even notice him leaning in towards you and placing his lips dangerously close to your ear.
"Do you wanna see whether Hwang feels something for you?"
His words had you physically leaning back and away from him, staring at him in shock for a moment before your eyes travelled towards Hyunjin, whose awaiting eyes were already fixing on yours.
Did you? That was the thing, did you want to know whether he felt something for you? Did you want to know now of all times? Now that you guys were done and you were trying your hardest to move on?
The rational side of you was quick to answer no. No, you did not want to know. You were done with him. Whether he felt something for you or not did not matter in the slightest, because it would not change anything.
The romantic side of you, the one that had been in love with Hwang Hyunjin for over a year now and that was still hurting over him not feeling the same way you did, wanted to know. Because that part of you was the hardest to shut down, especially when it came to the one person you had felt the strongest for.
In the end, the answer was simple. Your heart always seemed to win when it came to making decisions somehow. So you nodded.
And as Nana said your name out loud and everyone freaked out over it, even more after hearing what he had been asked for him to say your name as his final answer, you couldn't bring yourself to stop looking at Hyunjin.
Reading him, his feelings and thoughts, had never been an easy task to do. Right then, however, although still wearing a rather unreadable serious semblance, you could tell he was not happy.
He did not like to have your name abandon Heesung's mouth like that in the slightest.
And for a moment there, you thought he was about to join the game and take a shot. You thought he would care enough to go and find find the answer. But he didn't.
Too focused on him, you didn't even drink. Not like you really cared about what the previous question had been, you knew Nana hadn't meant his answer anyway. Plus, you would probably end up hearing it from someone else at some point, just like you were sure Hyunjin would, too.
When it was Heesung's turn to ask and he leaned in once more towards you, though, this time asking an actual question that you would have to answer out loud for everyone to hear, you were able to get an idea as to what he had been asked right before.
"Out of everyone here, who would you like to kiss tonight?"
Now, you knew he was doing this to help you get a reaction out of Hyunjin. Therefore, you were supposed to answer him, Na Heesung. Not a single thought. Just say his name. Right away.
But you couldn't help but actually give it a second thought.
You could've said Hyunjin. He was the one you wanted to kiss that night, being honest, and you wanted nothing but to slap yourself across the face for you to wake the fuck up. You were not supposed to want to kiss him. Not tonight, not ever. Yet here you were, locking eyes with him while you internally debated whether you should say his name or not.
No, you couldn't say his name — you were hit with a change of heart. Even if you wanted to kiss him, even if you were dying to feel his mouth on yours like you had oh-so-many-times done by now, you couldn't say it out loud. Not for everyone to hear. Not for him to hear. Not when you knew he didn't want to be with you in the same way you wanted to be with him.
You couldn't keep making a fool out of yourself. You couldn't keep giving him the pleasure of your undivided attention when he didn't reciprocate.
Forcing yourself to look away from him, you nervously fidgeted with one of the buttons on your dress, collecting all the sanity you had left before you could find it in you to confidently look at Nana and to answer for once and for all. "You".
The collective cheer that followed your one-word answer, right before the nosy players began drinking down their shots, was no surprise. You had expected it no matter what your answer was.
What you were not expecting was for Hyunjin to sit down next to you in what felt like a second — snatching the drink from your hand and downing it all in one go, so he could demand to hear what you had been asked.
It was funny, not to say tragic, how, somehow, all your decisions, all your feelings, always came back to Hyunjin.
You had come to this party to forget about him. You had felt that annoying, oh-so-familiar pressure in your chest because of him, when you saw him with someone else. You had decided to play this drinking game to once again keep your mind away from him. You had agreed to play along with Heesung's scheme because of him. You had answered Heesung because of him.
And now, you were currently panicking because of him. The one and only, Hwang Hyunjin.
Always, Hwang Hyunjin.
"Well?" he pushed it. "What was the question?"
"Um…" you hesitated, looking back at Heesung, in hopes of getting some help from him.
"Oh, come on," the girl Hyunjin had been with when you greeted him earlier that night spoke up. "Everyone already drank, you guys can announce it out loud and save us the trouble of having to go there and hear it one by one".
Heesung's eyes locked with yours, silently asking for permission to let everyone know what he had just asked.
You shrugged, defeated. Everyone would end up knowing anyway. Hyunjin would end up knowing anyway. There was no escape this time around, so it was better to just get it over with.
"Um. I asked who she'd rather kiss".
Everyone's reaction was the exact same as it had been when they found out why Nana had answered with your name before. Only this time it was in unison, louder, as they had all found out at the same time.
And this time you could feel Hyunjin tense up right next to you.
You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, keeping it safe instead by looking down to your lap, while your face burned up in embarrassment as you heard different voices speculating about your relationship with Heesung.
"Hold on, hold on," Minseo's cheeky tone brought everyone's attention to her. "So Nana said he'd like to take Y/N home with him by the end of the night and now Y/N said she'd rather kiss him~"
Hyunjin's face snapped in your direction, a frown visible on it as he seemed to be piecing everything together. The same as you were at this newfound information. So that was what Heesung had answered your name for.
His intentions of helping you out made a lot more sense now that Hyunjin had heard the question, too.
Not like he had much time to process it anyway, as another girl who had gotten way too much to drink by now was fast to chant, "Ohhh, now kiss!"
Both you and Heesung tensed up in your spot, exchanging looks as you hoped no one else would engage with that comment.
Your luck was no such, though, for it was only a matter of seconds before everyone started chanting for the two of you to kiss as well.
Everyone but Hyunjin, of course. Unlike the rest, who seemed to be enjoying this way too much, he remained silent, still, almost scared of moving — as if the slightest of movements from him would send you straight to Heesung's mouth.
"We're not kissing in front of you all" Heesung tried to play it off with a laugh.
"Yeah," you joined him. "You guys are crazy".
That had only served as fuel to the fire. The chanting now becoming louder, followed along with claps, to the point you knew there was no changing their drunken minds unless you gave them what they wanted.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
"Ugh, I'm sorry" he apologised to you, voice barely audible in between all the madness.
You shook your head, letting him know it was alright. "Let's just get it over with"
Although your voice came out in more of a mumble and you would've thought he wouldn't hear you, the surprise displaying on his face let you know otherwise.
"You sure?" he whispered.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
You nodded, it was just one kiss after all, no big deal. The fact that Hyunjin was right next to you had been completely pushed to the back of your head by now, his presence being long overshadowed by the loud unison voices clouding your judgment.
Watching Heesung nod as well in silent agreement, you leaned in, meeting his lips halfway. Just like that. No hesitation, no second thoughts.
They were nice, soft. Enough so that you knew you would've actually enjoyed the feel of them on yours a lot more if it weren't for the cheers hurting your ears — not to say if it weren't for the fact that you were only doing it because of the social pressure.
You also would've enjoyed it one hell of a lot more if your mind weren't suddenly back on Hyunjin as Heesung's lips sucked on your bottom one.
You could've sworn you had heard his voice call out your name right as your mouth pressed to Nana's. But then again, that might've been the part of you that was still head over heels for him — the one part of you that was still hopeful, the one that still wanted him to show any kind of feelings for you.
The part of you you needed to get rid of.
Pulling away from Heesung after a couple of seconds, Hyunjin was gone.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
"I'm sorry" Heesung apologised for the third time since you had quit the game.
The whisper game had been turned into spin the bottle right after your kiss, and neither you nor Heesung wanted to partake in it.
It had been harder than you had thought to leave the game, as everyone was trying to make you guys stay so it wouldn't turn boring due to losing players, but you had managed to sneak into the kitchen after a while.
You were not kissing anyone else that night.
"Nana, it's fine" you tried to laugh it off once more, sipping on the water you had decided to take in order to cancel out the few shots you drank. "It was just a game".
"Yeah, but…" he sighed. "I don't know, I didn't think it'd go that far".
"Neither did I, but… it's done now" you shrugged, placing your now empty glass down on the counter.
"At least we got a reaction out of our main target" he smirked.
"What tar—oh" you remembered, making Heesung laugh at your cluelessness. "He just left, though…"
"And that itself says a lot?!" he pointed out in disbelief. "And come on, he literally jumped to take that shot when you answered with my name".
"I mean, yeah, but…" you shrugged. "I don't know, he's always been jealous… or possessive, whatever you want to call it, like that".
"He's always had feelings for you then".
At that, you couldn't hold your laugh. "Yeah, right".
"I'm serious, though".
"No, I think it's just… I don't know, he grew way too used to being the only one in my eyes. Any other time I would've answered with his name. He doesn't like not having that anymore, that's all".
"Y/N, you cannot for the love of God be that oblivious!" Nana whined, grabbing your shoulders and shaking them for you to get a grip. "He wouldn't go to such extents just because of that".
It was now your turn to whine, letting your head fall to his shoulder as you lamented. "Everything is just so confusing when it comes to him, I don't know what to believe anymore".
"I think you should believe what you just saw, I mean… Y/N, he literally left when we kissed".
You let out a heavy sigh, feeling Heesung's shoulders slump down as he decided to drop the topic and pull you into his arms in a comforting hug.
"You wanna leave?" he asked after a couple of seconds.
"Yeah… that might be for the best" you mumbled, slowly pulling away from his embrace as you stood up straight. "There is no way we're leaving together now, though. I won't have my name in yet another rumor".
"Seems like the fair thing to do" he chuckled. "But there's no way I'm letting you go back home alone so late, I'll just head out first and wait for you outside or something".
"I guess that could work" you agreed.
"It will," he reassured you. "Although, to be honest, I don't think they'd start a rumor regarding us two".
"I can't trust your classmates anymore, I'm sorry" you shrugged, much to his own amusement. "No but that's not all because, like, imagine if they saw us leaving together and made us kiss again".
"I get that it was mere social pressure but don't make it sound like kissing me sucks" he dramatically clutched at his chest.
Rolling your eyes, you looked away as you denied, "I didn't hate kissing you, if I'm honest… I'm just saying".
Heesung smiled. "I didn't hate it either".
You felt your cheeks heat up all over again, just like they had when you pulled away from the kiss a couple of minutes ago. That had probably been the alcohol speaking, but you did mean it.
The kiss was nice. Pleasant. Different from Hyunjin's. Different from the way you felt with Hyunjin's. But nice nonetheless.
Before any of you could try and say anything else, however, someone clearing their throat at the entrance caught your attention.
Hyunjin stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and a stare you had not seen on him for a good while now, if ever. It was cold, and you couldn't pinpoint whether he was hurt or mad, nor whether he was feeling that way towards you or Heesung — or maybe both.
So cold, that you felt yourself to be oh-so-little under it.
"Am I interrupting something?" his voice sounded just as cold as his eyes looked.
Heesung bit his bottom lip, swallowing his own words not to make the situation any worse and looking at you instead, so you could be the one to answer.
"N-No…" you stuttered, eyes abandoning Nana's and fixing on Hyunjin's.
He nodded, entering the kitchen and silently going over to pour himself a drink.
Giving you an understanding look before you could even process what was going on, Heesung took a step away from you and towards the entrance. "We forgot my jacket in the living room after the game, so…"
"Nana…" you whispered, failing to grab his hand for him to stay.
He motioned towards Hyunjin, whose back was turned towards you, and gave you a reassuring smile before he left the room.
You stayed in your place. Hyunjin and you were now the only ones in there, and you couldn't bring yourself to say a word to him. Were you even supposed to say anything? His back was turned to you, after all, maybe he didn't want to talk at all. Maybe you were just supposed to leave. Maybe he wanted to be left alone, too.
Leaving seemed like the best option.
"He a good kisser?" Hyunjin asked, still not bothering to look at you.
You stopped in your tracks just as you were about to cross the door and turned around to look at him, finding yourself at a loss of words — completely taken aback by his bold question.
"What?"
"You enjoyed the kiss?" he rephrased it, finally turning around and looking at you as he took a sip of his drink.
"Why are you asking me this?" your voice faltered. "Shouldn't you be with your date?"
Hyunjin snorted. "Had you stayed one more second when we greeted and had you let me explain, you would've known by now that I came on my own and it was Changbin hyung's date who snuck me in".
The relief you felt at that made you mad at yourself all over again. It shouldn't matter who he came here with, nor who invited him in. You weren't supposed to care. You weren't supposed to feel your heart so at ease over this.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, though…"
"Don't I?" he tilted his head, placing his cup on the counter and walking towards you. "Why did you bring my supposed date up then?"
Looking up at him, you were once again at a loss of words. You couldn't give him a proper answer, not without letting him know you still cared. So, you said nothing, instead shaking your head before you walked right past him and out of the kitchen.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
"We're not gonna talk about it?" he pushed it, following hot on your heels as soon as you entered the living room looking for Heesung.
"There is nothing to talk about" you mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.
Looking around for a second, you poundered your options. Going to the couch by the corner that had a free spot would only draw attention, as you were sure Hyunjin would not give it up just because there were people around. Going to the backyard would be pretty much the same.
Your eyes went up to the main staircase and then to the second floor, and that was all it took for you to go for it.
"No?" he followed you up the stairs, reaching for your hand and pulling you back towards him as soon as you were in the hallway. "So kissing another guy right in front of me is nothing now?"
You scoffed. "Why do you even care?"
"I thought it was obvious?"
"It's not" you answered coldly, pulling your hand out of his grasp.
"Think again then".
You shook your head in defeat. "Is it because it's Heesung?"
That had seemed to catch him by surprise. "What do you mean?"
"Are you mad that I kissed someone else in front of you or are you mad that it was Heesung?"
Hyunjin scoffed. "You could've kissed some complete stranger and I would've been just as hurt".
Hurt. Hurt.
He said hurt. Not mad, not annoyed, but hurt.
For the first time in a while, you felt yourself being delusional and allowing yourself to believe he did feel something for you. Something more than simple care. Something more than the selfish need to have your undivided attention all on him.
That simple use of words of his had been able to make you feel the hope you no longer thought you had by now.
"Y/N?" Hyunjin snapped you out of it. "Are you even listening to me?"
You bit the inside of your cheek, hesitating before you spoke. "I don't get you, Hyunjin".
"What is it that you don't get?"
"Why you're acting like this…"
"Because you kissed another guy" he repeated, and you could tell he was beginning to lose his temper.
"That's not—" you sighed. "Okay, so I kissed another guy. I kissed Heesung. I did. But as opposed to what, kissing you?"
Hyunjin's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"You're talking like I cheated on you somehow" you pointed out. "You're mad that I kissed someone who was not you, but it's not like we're kissing either?"
"Do you want us to kiss?"
It was now your turn to scoff, staring at him incredulously for a moment before you tried to walk past him once again and go down the stairs.
"Y/N, wait" he stopped you once more, holding you by your shoulders.
"You just can't be serious for shit, can you?" you snapped, shoving his hands away from you.
"I am serious!" he exclaimed. "I am serious, Y/N. I'm just so fucking conflicted right now because I literally saw you with someone else and I'm trying to win you back here—"
"Win me back?" you whispered, inaudibly to him.
"But there are so many thoughts running through my head right now I can't think straight, like, do you like him? Did you feel something when you kissed him? Does he like you? Is he a better kisser than me?"
"Hyunjin…"
"Because I don't think he could be. He isn't, right? Is he?"
"You can't just ask that" you frowned. "Why would it even matter anyway".
"It just does…"
"I don't go around asking you if all the girls you've kissed apart from me are better than me".
"You could" he shrugged.
"What?"
"You could ask me. And I'd say you in a heartbeat".
"Hyunjin—"
"You are better than them, Y/N".
"Hyunjin".
"I'm serious" he stated. "There's a reason I kissed you pretty much every time we saw each other. It's different when there are feelings involved".
You scoffed, rolling your eyes before you looked away. "Glad you could tell how head over heels I was for you".
"I'm talking about me".
You froze.
Silent, still. Eyes looking for some kind of amusement in his — anything that would hint at his words being a joke. Just one mean, fucking cruel joke.
You found nothing.
"W-What?"
"I'm talking about my feelings, not yours".
"You—No. Feelings? No, you can't do this again".
"Y/N..."
"You can't mess with my head all over again, I thought we were past this".
"We will never be past this," he denied. "Not until you listen to me and actually believe what I've been trying to tell you for a while now".
"And what is it that you've been trying to tell me now?"
Hyunjin sighed, nervously looking around and only then hitting him that the two of you had been in the hallway all along. Although it was pretty much isolated, apart from the couple in their own world a couple of meters away, he felt shy all of a sudden. Especially since anyone could walk up the stairs any minute.
"Not here" he mumbled.
Staring at his hand on yours the next second, you let him guide you through the hallway in search of an empty room the two of you could talk inside of — without other people possibly watching or even overhearing everything you had to say.
It only took opening three doors and coming across two locked ones to finally find an empty bedroom.
Walking inside, you were thankful by the fact that a small lamp remained turned on by the nightstand, providing you both with some much needed —dim— light, as you had been too busy pulling your hand out of his grasp and Hyunjin too busy closing the door behind you to bother looking for a light.
"So?" you pushed it. "Are you telling me what's going on?"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm trying, Y/N. It's not easy for me".
"That's what you said last time" you reminded him. "I don't know, Hyunjin. I'm trying to be understanding here and be friends again but you keep pulling this kind of stuff and honestly by now I feel like maybe this is all about attention".
"Attention?"
You nodded. "You had never been interested in me until I started hooking up with Binnie. And now you started being all sweet to me and getting jealous all over again when I started hanging out with Heesung".
"It's not like that…"
"Then how is it like?" you crossed your arms over your chest. "Because it really does look like I'm some kind of game to you".
"You're not just a game to me, Y/N. You're so much more, I—" he exhaled shakily. "Okay, yes, I started showing interest after you and Bin hyung started hooking up, there's no denying it, but I kinda needed that to realise that I wanted to be with you".
"You didn't want to be with me, though…" you mumbled. "Not seriously, at least. That's the point".
"Yes, I did" he confessed, and you felt as if your heart had stopped for a moment. "I did, Y/N. I was just too much of an idiot to realise".
"You don't…" you sighed. "No, what are you saying?"
"I want to be with you, Y/N. For real".
Your whole body stilled and your knees went weak, needing to lean back against the door for some kind of support.
You could not believe your ears. He could not be serious, could he? He was joking. This was all some kind of mean, mean joke. It had to be. Wasn't it?
"Can you say something?" he nervously whispered.
"You don't mean that…"
"I do mean it. I had never meant anything else as much as I mean this".
"Do you realise your timing?" you recriminated him, finally snapping out of it. "Like, you do realise how much of a joke this sounds like right now, don't you?"
"Why would I be joking about something like this?"
"I don't—I don't know…" you shook your head, unconsciously taking a step back. "It does sound to me like you only want to make sure I don't get over you and move on to someone else".
"You really think that low of me?" Hyunjin questioned, eyebrows furrowing not really in offense, but hurt instead. "You genuinely believe I'm doing this out of attention?"
You remained silent, much to his dislike.
"You really think I'm doing this to keep you wrapped around my finger? Seriously, Y/N?" he questioned. "All the sweet words? All the art studio visits? All the times I try to hang out with you alone or just talk to you? All the times I've gotten so obviously jealous? You really think I'm doing it all to play with you?"
You shrugged, not daring to look him in the eye as you replied, "I don't know when it comes to you anymore…"
That had felt like a punch in the gut for him, finding himself leaning back as he took a shaky breath. "Wow…"
"I'm just saying, you did all those things before too and you didn't want a serious relationship, how am I supposed to know it's any different now?"
"Because it just is!" he threw his head back in frustration. "I wanted a relationship with you too back then but I was too stupid to realise it. I wanted to be with you at all times, I wanted to kiss you, I wanted you all to myself. I didn't even care about going to someone else to hook up with but I still made myself believe I did just because I was too scared to admit to myself that I was falling for you".
"Hyunjin—"
"No, you're listening to me now" he cut you off, decided to get his point across and determined to make you hear him out. "I know the timing could not be any more shitty and that it seems like I'm doing this just because I want you to only ever have eyes for me, and yes, I do want you to only ever have eyes for me, but not for the reason you're imagining. I want you to only be into me because I too am only into you".
You snorted, incredulously rolling your eyes as you backed away and tried to reach for the doorknob. At that, Hyunjin pressed his hand against the door — his strength overpowering you and forbidding you from opening it. The way his face was now inches away from yours as he cornered you against the only exit you had, however, had been enough to keep you still and stop fighting him right away.
"Why is it so hard to believe that I am only into you?" he mumbled this time.
"I, I just—I don't," you struggled to get the words out of your mouth. "You literally said that you didn't think you'd ever be able to give me the relationship I was expecting from you, that you wanted to be free and—"
"How many times do I have to tell you that I was just being stupid?" he repeated. "What I wanted was right there in front of me and I was too much of an idiot to see it, until I eventually lost you and what we had and it hit me".
"And how do I know you won't go back to wanting to be free and sleep around after we get back together? How do I know this is what you truly want and not just you wanting what you can't have?"
"Because I have feelings for you!"
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
Feelings. Feelings.
His feelings. For you.
Although he had hinted at it minutes ago when he was recriminating you for kissing Heesung, you had chosen not to believe your ears. He had not meant it like that, as far as you knew.
But now he had said it, word by word. He had looked at you straight in the eye and told you he had feelings for you. Actual romantic feelings for you. And he wanted to act on them now, as opposed to months ago when he claimed to like you one hell of a lot yet didn't feel like being in a relationship with you.
You remained frozen, quiet — scared of moving, even. Feeling like your voice would fail you the moment you opened your mouth to speak.
"You what?" you whispered, weakly.
"I have feelings for you, Y/N" Hyunjin said once again, calmer this time, yet somehow determination being clearer in his voice. "It took me way too long to realise, but there's a reason I couldn't let go of you even after you wanted nothing to do with me. There's a reason what we had was so close to an actual relationship to begin with. There's a reason I hate to see you and Heesung together now, and why it hurt so fucking much to see you kiss him that I had to physically leave the room or I would've either broken down or beaten him up right there".
"I didn't…" you took a deep breath. "I didn't think it would hurt you, I didn't do it to spite you…"
"I get that, Y/N, but it fucking hurt. It fucking hurt so much, more than I could've ever imagined. I really wanted to pull you away from there and to be the one to kiss you instead. Because I do have feelings for you. And that is the exact reason why I won't go back to wanting to sleep around," he leaned in, softly resting his forehead on yours. "I only want to be with you. I mean it".
"You do?" you whispered, already feeling yourself melting under his simple touch.
"I do," he confirmed in a heartbeat. "Fuck, baby, I want to be with you so bad".
Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of the pet name you had not heard in so long.
"Hyunjin…" you pouted. "Don't play with me".
He took a deep, shaky breath, bringing his thumb up to trace your bottom lip. "I'm not playing," his eyes travelled back up to your eyes. "You're driving me crazy, Y/N. I don't know what else to do for you to believe I'm serious about us".
Us. Us.
You could've screamed right then and there if it weren't for the fact that your voice was failing you when you needed it the most.
You couldn't believe just how weak you were still when it came to him.
"I'm just… so confused, Hyunjin…"
He nodded understandingly, letting out a heavy sigh as he tried to compose himself as well. "I get that it's all very confusing and hard to believe, but I'll do anything if it means you'll believe me" he whispered, gently bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. "I do mean it when I say I want to be with you, Y/N. Only you".
Too stunned to say anything, you nodded — gently, almost invisibly, as right then you weren't sure of anything. It was a dream, as far as you knew.
But it was a dream you didn't want to wake up from.
"Okay…" you whispered.
"Okay?" he asked, hope clear in his voice.
"You can… show me that you mean it…"
Hyunjin smiled brightly, his eyes turning into two crescent moons as he tried to process your words. "You're serious?"
"Mhm…" you softly nodded. "If you fuck up again after this… I won't be able to give you any more chances, though…"
"I won't," he promised. "I won't, I—fuck, I'm so happy" a breathy laugh escaped his mouth, making your heart flutter as you watched him try to compose himself.
You couldn't help the small smile that had curved up the corners of your lips at the sight of his own, closing your eyes when he once again rested his forehead on yours and lovingly bumped your nose.
Looking down to your mouth for a second, his uncertain eyes were back up on yours. "Would I be an asshole if I kissed you right now?"
You shook your head no, maybe a little too quickly for your own liking. As much as you had tried to deny it, to push such thoughts away, you wanted him to kiss you.
You needed to feel his plump, cloudlike lips on yours again. Right then, as you had them only a centimeter away from yours, and as you could feel his hot breath hit your mouth, you felt like you would die if you didn't get a taste of them.
Thankfully, you didn't need to reach such an extent, for Hyunjin himself felt like he would die if he didn't feel your mouth against his right at that moment, and so your shake of head was all he needed to close the small space the two of you were going insane over.
You had not forgotten how much you missed the feel of his mouth on yours, but as his lips opened ever so slightly to press deeper against yours, you could only realise just how fucking much you had actually missed it.
It was needy, messy, different to every other kiss you had shared before — even during your make out sessions. Your breathings not taking long to become heavier and have you gasping for air. It almost felt like you would die the moment your lips pulled away from each other.
Having his tongue massage yours the way only he could and biting on your bottom lip like he knew it drove you crazy, you couldn't stop the small hum that escaped your mouth, feeling yourself getting drunk on the touch and taste of him.
Hyunjin smiled, hands tightening on your hips to pull you as close as he could to him, before they traced their way up your back and pressed your chest to his — letting out a heavy yet blissful sigh when you took his look for closeness one step further by tightening your arms around his neck and deepening the kiss.
"Fuck, you're driving me crazy" he mumbled against your lips, feeling you chuckle in between the kiss in response.
Air no longer seemed like a necessity, both of you being too long gone to even think of breaking the contact between your mouths. Instead, Hyunjin's hands travelled down to your lower back to pull you closer, as he had felt you move slightly away from him and he was not having it.
Missing the touch of his right hand on your lower back the next second, however, you whined, earning a breathy laugh from him against your hot mouth. That's when you heard the lock of the door twist behind you, and suddenly it made sense why his hand had abandoned the comfort of your body.
Not giving you time to react, the same hand of his you had whined about now travelled further down to the back of your thigh, pulling it up around his waist before his other hand joined and he lifted you up. You smiled in between the kiss, helping him by wrapping your legs around him as he adjusted himself in between them and held you up against the door.
"What do you think you're doing?" you teased him, barely catching your breath.
"Nothing yet" he smirked, sucking on your bottom lip.
You smiled, leaning down to trap his bottom lip in between yours and then pulling at it with a soft bite. "And what's stopping you?"
Groaning at both your words and the pressure your teeth were applying on his flesh, he went back to suck on your lip — his hot tongue tracing over it before it opened its way into your mouth and was gladly met by yours.
A small, barely audible moan escaped your mouth when your body slid slightly down and the friction against his sent a wave of pleasure to your inner thighs. So quiet, that he wouldn't have heard it had he not been kissing you right then, unintentionally muffling out that one sweet sound of yours he wanted to hear the most.
Wanting to hear more of it, he tightened his hold around your waist, so he could let one of his hands travel down to your ass, giving it a light squeeze and not letting go until he reached the king bed, where he gently laid you down on, and wasted no time to be right back on your lips.
"You're not drunk, are you?" he wondered, tenderly caressing your waist.
You shook your head no, resting a hand on his cheek. "I wasn't that into gossip to drink as many shots as everyone else".
Hyunjin chuckled, stealing a lingering kiss from you. "You won't hate me in the morning then?"
You bit your bottom lip, anticipating what was about to happen with just that simple question of his. "I won't".
"Promise?" he mumbled, slowly brushing his lips on yours.
"Promise" you smiled, pulling him down by his collar and trapping his bottom lip in between your needy ones.
Not letting go of the white fabric of his shirt, you began to slowly unbutton it down — one button at a time, slowly enough to drive him crazy.
Neither you bothered taking it off, nor did he bother removing it. You just stared, running your fingertips over the uncovered skin of his toned chest and smiling at the visible goosebumps your touch alone had provoked on him.
"Don't be a tease" he warned, burying his head in the crook of your neck.
"I'm just touching you..."
"Exactly".
A small giggle escaped your mouth at his answer, feeling him smile against your skin before he placed an open mouth kiss to it. And then another. And another. Sucking on your flesh in such a way you would be surprised if you didn't walk out of there without a purple mark on it.
Just as his hand was placed on your waist to keep you in place and your breathing became heavier, his kisses began moving down to your chest, leaving a trail of them all the way from your neck to your shoulder, where he stopped for a moment to pull down the sleeve of your dress so he could press a wet kiss directly to your skin. He then moved to your collarbone, loving the way he could already feel your chest heavily move up and down before he could even get to it.
And then he moved down to your cleavage.
Holding the first button of your dress in between his fingers, he looked up at you, asking for permission before carrying on. At a loss of words, you nodded, feeling your body heat up when he undid the first one and moved onto the second one — and so on until he stopped right above your belly button.
He couldn't help but admire you, not needing to undo any more buttons right then as he had you lying down with nothing but a black bralette covering your chest. Leaning down to plant a kiss to your addictive mouth, he couldn't help his hand from grabbing one of your breasts, feeling himself grow hard at the sound of the small gasp you had just let out against his lips.
Using his knee to pull your legs apart, he lied in between them, slowly thrusting against your core as he squeezed your breast once again. This time, you couldn't help the moan that had slipped right past your lips, as you felt him hard against the one place where you needed him the most.
Hyunjin smirked, kissing you harder and muffling out another moan of yours after he thrusted once more, harder as well.
"Fuck, baby" he breathed out. "You're driving me crazy".
"I should be the one saying that…" you confessed.
He chuckled, leaning down to devour your mouth like his life depended on it. Letting go after what felt like too short of a time for your liking, he went back down to your chest and bagan peppering a few kisses on the uncovered skin. A small groan left his throat when his kisses moved further down and his lips were met no longer by the softness of your naked body, but with the fabric of your bralette instead.
Barely detaching his mouth from the spot he had been teasing, he pulled your bra down to uncover one of your breasts and wasted no time to wrap his mouth around your nipple. It hardened at the first touch of his, feeling him smile against your flesh right before he began to swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud.
Your breathing became heavier, chest tremblingly moving up and down as he continued his ministrations — bringing one of your hands to your unattended breast so you could touch yourself. Only Hyunjin didn't let you, grabbing your fingers right as they grazed over your bra and pulling your hand down on the mattress.
"I'm the one touching you, baby" he gazed up at you, just like that having you obey him.
Without another word, he pulled the remaining cup down as well to release your other breast and give it the attention you had silently been begging for, not forgetting about the one he had been sucking on previously, as he gave it a slow squeeze before he pinched your already sensitive nipple.
You writhed underneath him, lifting your hips up to rub against his erection and get some of the friction you so desperately needed. Hyunjin didn't fight it, instead pressing a hand down on your waist to keep you still as he grinded on you just the way you wanted him to.
"Hyunjin… fuck".
Grinning against your chest, he let go of your now over-sensitive bud and traced his fingertips all the way down to your thighs instead. He teasingly rubbed his thumb right beside your inner thigh, without really touching you where you were desperate for him to touch you.
When a pretty whine of yours reached his ears not even three seconds later, however, he decided to stop your torture. Gently palming your core over your panties, he felt himself grow harder over how much more wet than he had expected you actually were.
"Fuck," he groaned, running two of his fingers up and down your slit over the damp fabric. "Can't wait to be buried deep inside you".
You whined under your breath, that thought alone having you trying to squeeze your legs together, in desperate need to release the sudden itch in between them. Noticing this, as you had failed ever so miserably given that he was in between your legs, stopping you from pulling them back together, Hyunjin took it upon himself.
Leaning down to crash his mouth on yours, parting your lips with his tongue as he searched for the touch of yours, he pulled your panties aside, earning a melodic whimper from you the moment those same fingers than had been touching you over the thin fabric before were now running up and down your wet folds.
"Hyunjin," you breathed out when he stopped right at your entrance and toyed with it, pushing one of his fingers inside you. "Hm—fuck, Hyunjin, don't tease…"
He chuckled, biting your lip before he pulled you into another kiss — curling his finger up as he softly pistoned inside your walls. "But I wanna take my time…"
"Please," you begged, feeling yourself clenching around his finger. "No teasing tonight, I just need you inside me".
"No teasing tonight?" he pulled away from your mouth and removed a strand of hair from off your face with his free hand. "You're saying there will be another time?"
You didn't reply, feeling the heat reach your face as the implication of your own words had just hit you. Hyunjin laughed breathily, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.
"Okay then, no teasing tonight" he gave in, removing his finger from you and having you whimper over the sudden emptiness. "But I still need to make sure you're wet enough".
"I'm already wet enough" you whispered.
He smiled against your lips. Fuck, he swore right then you could not look any hotter, and he could not be any harder.
"You think so?" he mumbled against your lips.
"Yes," you blurted out in a heartbeat. "Please, Hyunjin, just fuck me".
"Fuck, you're so hot" he breathed out, earning a breathy, contented laugh from you that was followed with a short kiss to his mouth. "You're on the pill, right?"
"You didn't bring a…"
He shook his head no, and you could feel him begin to panic. "You're not?"
"I am, it's okay," you reassured him with a kiss, gently brushing his hair back. "I just thought you'd at least carry one around at a party".
"I only came here for you tonight, and I wasn't being this optimistic".
"Mm… maybe we should stop right here then, to keep things closer to your expectations".
"Don't you dare" he warned you.
You chuckled, trapping his bottom lip back in between your mouth and bringing your hand down to his pants, palming his bulge over the black fabric and feeling yourself grow needier as a muffled moan came out of his mouth at the sudden pressure.
You had said no teasing, though. So, following your own words, you palmed him one last time before your hand moved up to pull the zip down. Not giving him much time to take in your actions, you took a hold of his hardened member and pulled it out of his underwear.
"Fuck," he growled, already feeling oh-so-sensitive under your touch as you began to move your hand up and down around his length. "You said no teasing".
"I'm not teasing," you breathed out with a small laugh. "But you can't fuck me with it still inside your pants, can you?"
Hyunjin's mouth crashed against yours. "You're gonna be the end of me, for fuck's sake".
Sitting up on the bed, he pulled his pants down to his knees, then taking a hold of your thighs and pulling you closer to him, making a rush of heat run through your whole body and up to your face when he removed your panties completely — even more when you caught his hungry eyes staring.
"Hyunjin..." you called his name when he could not stop himself from touching you.
As if snapping out of a trance, he fixed his eyes on yours, allowing the curves of his lips to curve up as he leaned back down to hover your body. "You're so hot, how am I not supposed to—"
He was shut up by your mouth on his, muffling the following moan of his that ran past his lips when you took a hold of his cock once more and pumped it up and down. Cursing under his breath, he took over your touch when you guided him to your cunt, grabbing his length and slowly rubbing his tip against your slit.
"You sure you want this?" he looked you in the eye.
You quickly nodded, digging your hands under his open shirt and tracing your way to his back as you had suddenly forgotten how to speak.
"Words, baby" he nuzzled your neck.
"You just wanna hear me beg" you complained, feeling your heart race at the sound of his soft laugh.
"Tell me" he pushed it, aligning himself with your entrance. "I'm not fucking you until you tell me".
"Please, Jinnie" you whined.
"Please what, baby?"
"Please, fuck me" your voice could only turn him on more. "Please".
Hushing your pleas with a tender kiss, he held harder onto your waist, keeping you still as he was finally done with the teasing and slowly pushed into you.
"Fuck," he groaned into your mouth, as soon as his tip had slid past your wet walls. "Fuck, you feel so good".
All you could do in return was breathe out heavily, getting lost in the feel of every inch of his stretching their way inside you, rubbing your walls in all the right places as he bottomed out.
Rolling your hips up to meet his as you could only want and need more of him, you got a groan out of him, running your fingers down to his lower back and hinting at him to start moving.
You bit your bottom lip to contain a loud moan from coming out when he complied with your wishes — pulling back and stopping right before the tip of his cock could slip out, to then push all the way back in.
"Oh, my—" you gasped, placing your palms on his waist.
"Feels good?" he asked against your open mouth, pressing his lips to it after you had hummed in content. "Tell me, baby" his hips slammed on yours, making you whimper. "How do you like it?"
"Just like that" you whined, digging your nails on his flesh as his thrusts had become harder. "Fuck, Hyunjin, just like that".
"Yeah?" he smirked, pressing his mouth to the corner of yours.
"Hmm… feels so good".
That was exactly what he wanted to hear.
Smiling against your mouth as another moan abandoned it after one particular thrust of his, he pressed one last kiss to it before hiding his face in the crook of your neck, allowing himself to let out a groan when you once again rolled your hips against his and caused him to reach deeper inside you.
Chest pressing flat on yours, he grabbed hard on your thigh, removing it from around his waist and pushing it down against your ribcage. The new angle had you moaning and your walls clenching around his cock in a heartbeat.
"Y/N, fuck" Hyunjin whined, going up to rest his forehead on yours. "You feel so fucking good".
You trapped his bottom lip in between yours, entangling one of your hands in the black locks at the back of his head and pulling at them ever so lightly, just enough to turn him on even more than he already was and to get a raspy moan out of him — taking the gap in his lips to your advantage by sticking your tongue in it and being met with his responsive one.
Letting go of your thigh, he rested his hand on your ribcage, right under the curve of your breast, pulling away from the comfort of your chest so he could take a proper look at you and the way your body moved with every thrust of his.
"You're so hot," he groaned, rubbing his thumb over your hardened nipple. "So fucking beautiful..."
Throwing your head back at the pleasure, feeling your legs grow weaker by the second, you allowed a moan of his name to slip past your throat. That only had him leaning back down to crash his mouth on yours and grind deeper on you — harder, faster.
The sound of your hot flesh slamming against one another over and over filled the room, to the point you were thankful by the loud music that was playing downstairs and helped this bedroom become as soundproof as it could be.
Your walls clenched around him once more, as his cock had finally reached your most sensitive spot and the friction of his pelvis on your clit was starting to become too much, in the most delicious of ways.
"F—uck," he let out a shaky breath. "If you keep doing that I don't think I'll last for too long".
You bit your lip, feeling almost ashamed as you could hardly speak. "I'm not lasting… much longer…"
Because it was all too much. All the time you have had feelings for him, all the months you hadn't been intimate with anyone, the way he had managed to know just the way you liked it the first time around, the way his cock was rubbing against the one spot that could make you see stars in a matter of seconds.
The way it was him.
Everything was too much, and you were afraid it would be over sooner than you wanted it to.
Hyunjin's eyes softened, and a sweet smile curved up his lips — leaning down to kiss you gently this time. Cupping your face with his hand, he drew tender circles on your chin with his thumb.
"Cum for me, then" he mumbled against your mouth, bringing his hand down to your clit.
"Hyunjin," you gasped when his thumb rubbed on it. "Fuck, I don't—"
"Hm, baby?" he asked, thrusting into you. "You don't, what?"
"I don't wanna cum yet" you choked out.
He chuckled, feeling your body tremble underneath him. "Your body says otherwise…"
"Hyunjin, ple—fuck," you cried, palms pressing against his abdomen when he pounded into you. "Please, it feels too good".
"I know, baby…" he hushed you, not letting go of the pace he had set that was driving you over the edge. "You're driving me crazy over here, too".
Hearing the way his voice had halted, you could tell he was close, too. So, pushing your own needs aside, you began to roll your hips and meet each of his thrusts halfway all over again — no longer caring about coming undone right then and there, as long as you helped him find his own release.
"Y/N—oh, fuck" he moaned, heavy breathing mixing with yours as he let his forehead rest on yours.
"Hyunjin, I'm coming" you whimpered, feeling your back arching and your legs beginning to shake. "Oh, God, I'm—"
He pressed a kiss to your mouth, removing his hand from your clit and pushing your thigh back against your chest so he could slam harder into you — deeper.
"Let go, baby" he whispered, feeling his own orgasm approaching. "Cum for me, hm? Be a good girl to me…"
With one last thrust of his and with those last words being said, you couldn't hold back anymore — toes curling, legs shaking and nails scratching his back, as you hid your face in the crook of his neck and let out a cry.
Hyunjin couldn't hold back a moan at the mere sight of you shaking and coming undone under him. "Holy fuck, you're so perfect" he breathed out, holding onto your waist to keep you in place as he helped you ride through your orgasm.
Letting your head fall back down against the pillow, you looked down to the place where your hips met. Amazed by the way his cock appeared and disappeared inside you, you placed your hands on his lower back to help him reach his climax while you were still going through yours — throwing your head back against the pillow when his cock kept on hitting your most sensitive spot.
Just like he had warned you, your walls clenching around his cock would be what ended up sending him to the edge.
"Y/N, holy—" his words got caught in his throat, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he slammed into you once more.
One last curse abandoned his lips, and suddenly you were feeling his damp chest pressing on yours and his warm release being spread inside you.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
Heavy breathings mixing together, Hyunjin leaned in to steal another kiss from your swollen mouth, not being able to stop a giggle from escaping his own and lovingly bumping his nose on yours, before pressing his lips to yours one more time.
"Fuck, I needed you" he exhaled, kissing you again. "So much".
You chuckled, gently entangling your fingers in his slightly sweaty hair and pulling him into another kiss. "I needed you, too".
Hyunjin's smile turned bigger, brighter, and you once again felt like you were in a dream when he cupped your cheek and tenderly caressed your skin. He looked at you like you were holding the stars in the sky, and for a second there you grew afraid — afraid of having let your walls down, more than you ever had before, to the point your mind was now making up the feelings behind his eyes to compensate for the love you still felt for him.
All your worries were quickly shut down when he pressed a soft kiss to your nose, then another to your forehead, and then one to your cheek, before he let his bodyweight fall on you, burying his face in the valley of your breasts as his arms snuck around your waist and pulled you closer than you'd ever been to him.
"You're heavy" you whined, with the exclusive intention of annoying him.
He didn't even budge. "You can take it for a couple of minutes".
Allowing the corners of your mouth to curve up into a smile, you gently ran your fingers through his hair, feeling his chest move up and down as he sighed contentedly. He had missed you playing with his hair. And you had missed feeling him melt into a puddle under your loving touch.
It was ironical, how that same day you had been beating yourself up over having flirted with him like you used to, even after everything that had gone down between the two of you and how hard you were trying to get over him, yet here you were right now, with your dress doing little to nothing to cover you up as Hyunjin lied on top of you — face buried in your chest as he tenderly caressed your hip under the black fabric of your dress he had previously pulled up to your waist, and your breathings synchronized as the two of you had finally managed to fully come down from your highs.
As ironic as it sounded, though, there was a difference between your flirting earlier that day and the intimacy you had just shared: You didn't know he had feelings for you before.
The main reason why you had beaten yourself up over having slipped up and flirted back with him was because you felt delusional. And how could you not? He knew you had feelings for him all along, you knew they were one sided, and you still had managed to make a fool of yourself by giving him just what he wanted. You had found yourself falling in his game all over again.
Only it was not a game to him. Now you knew.
A voice at the very back of your head told you that you should be ashamed, that you had given in too easily, but you couldn't find it in you to feel anything other than peace right then.
You had missed him. You had needed him, more than you could have ever imagined.
You had tried to get over him, you had really tried. But having him tell you all that, when a part of you still felt so strongly about him, had managed to make it all come back — every single feeling you had managed to push away. Just like that.
And maybe it was the hopeless romantic in you, or simply your love for him, that made you want to believe with everything in you that this time would be different.
You wanted, begged, to believe that this time around your heart wouldn't be shattered into one million pieces.
He had said he only wanted you, that he had feelings for you. Whether said feelings were love or he was just slowly beginning to get there, you wanted to believe they were true.
After all, he had said he would do anything for you to believe him. You were truly counting on that.
"Did you mean it?" you wondered, voice soft as ever.
"I meant everything I said".
You giggled, feeling his heart race up as you shook your head. "No… I'm talking about what you said about having come here just because of me…" you specified. "Was it true? Or were you just trying to make me melt?"
"I made you melt?" he looked up with a smirk, both proudly and teasingly.
"Don't" you whined, earning a giggle from him.
"I was serious, you can ask Changbin hyung if you want".
"What does he have to do with it?"
"I told you, his date was the one who let me in here. I had to beg him to ask her".
"That deep?" you taunted him.
"Laugh all you want," he dared you, going up to press a small kiss to your chin and then hover your lips. "Coming here was the best decision I could've made".
Not fighting the smile that had just curved up your mouth, you met his lips midway into a loving kiss. One that slowly turned into one peck after another, getting a blissful giggle from you as Hyunjin could not find it in him to entirely pull away just yet.
Once he felt like your lips had touched a fair enough amount of times to make him the happiest, he rested his head back on your chest, gently bumping his nose against your neck before he buried his face in the crook of it. Your arms didn't wait to wrap around him, holding him close to you as you found comfort in his naked chest moving up and down against yours with every breath you took.
The little utopia the two of you had built was disrupted the next minute, when a sudden turn of the doorknob had your heads snapping in its direction.
"Fuck" you whispered, trying to get up but having no success at it, thanks to Hyunjin's body on top of you. "Jinnie, get up".
He whined, only burying his face back in your chest. "They can go get another room".
"Hyunjin!" you whisper-shouted this time, hearing the doorknob unsuccessfully twist again.
"What, I'm serious" his embrace around you tightened. "This is my Y/N time, whoever they are they can fuck off".
As if on cue, the turning ceased. And you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the sight of the smile that had just taken over Hyunjin's face.
"Y/N time?" you mockingly questioned.
He nodded, no sign of his smile being erased anytime soon. "I said what I said".
You laughed under your breath, placing your palms against his shoulders so you could push him up and off you — only managing to make him look at you so far. "We have to leave".
He pouted. "So soon?"
You nodded. "We're literally in the middle of a party, anyone could walk in".
"The door is literally locked".
"What if Yurim comes".
He shrugged. "It's gonna be locked anyway. Plus, I heard she doesn't really mind having couples do their thing in here".
You rolled your eyes, both in amusement and disbelief. "You're a liar".
"I'm not!" he reassured you, yet the laugh that had followed his words was not very convincing of him.
"Mhm… if you say so" you teased him.
Leaning in to steal a kiss from him before he could fight back like you knew he would, you took advantage of the way he was too busy deepening the kiss and grabbed the hem of his shirt, swiftly buttoning it up until his chest was covered.
"Let's get dressed" you mumbled against his lips, pressing one last kiss to them.
Hyunjin sighed, definitely not wanting to leave you, nor this moment, anytime soon, yet not even dreaming of pushing your limits any further. Just having you this way right now, having had you as intimately as he had done minutes ago, was more, so much more, than he could ever have asked for.
Adjusting his pants and poorly fixing his shirt, he rushed to help you out. Your hands were already pulling down your dress so it would cover your thighs, so he focused on your chest, fixing your bralette first and then carefully —not to say reluctantly— buttoning your dress up. Lastly, he moved on to help you reach for your panties on the other end of the bed so you could put them on.
Once you were all done, he offered his hand to help you sit up just as he did.
"One of us should leave first…" you mumbled.
He nodded, quietly running his fingers through your hair to fix its messiness. "You can go first. I'll stay here and make the bed look presentable again".
You bit your bottom lip, feeling your face burn as you seemed to only then have been hit with what the two of you had just done. Nevertheless, you nodded, standing up and running your hands down your dress in hopes to make it look just as straightened as it was when you arrived.
"Okay, um… I'll see you around?" you tilted your head rather awkwardly, not really knowing how to say goodbye now.
Letting out a chuckle, Hyunjin stood up as well and walked over to you — confidently pulling you in by your waist, so that your body was once again pressed to his and his mouth could brush over yours. "If you think I'm not texting you first thing tomorrow then you've got a whole other thing coming to you".
As much as his words had made you shy, you couldn't control yourself when it came to pulling him into a kiss by his collar.
Hyunjin kissed you back in a heartbeat, a smile curving up his lips as both hands cupped your face to stop you from pulling away just yet.
"Actually, I'm calling you later tonight to see if you got home safe" he let you know as he caught his breath, going in for another brief kiss. "Or maybe I should take you home instead".
"We're not having a second round" you warned him.
Hyunjin laughed under his breath. "No, it's not…" he shook his head, opening his eyes to meet your awaiting ones. "I meant your home, as in, dropping you off at your dorm. Although I wouldn't mind taking you back to mine with me".
You amusedly rolled your eyes, doing a pretty poor job at hiding just how hard your face was burning up at his words. "You're not taking me to either" you remarked, having him sticking his bottom lip out in a pout. "I need to go look for Nana, we came here together, so…"
He nodded every so softly — not being able to hide the drop in his mood. "Can I ask you to, like… do... or not do something for me?"
"What is it?" you wondered.
"Don't go back home with him? Or with anyone else for that matter?"
"You mean, going home as in…"
"As in the way you accused me of wanting to take you home" he smiled softly.
"I'm not sure I'm ready for another round with anyone else either after what happened between us" you joked.
"Shut up," he half whined, half laughed, resting his forehead on yours. "You know what I mean".
You smiled, leaning in to kiss his pout away. "I won't".
"Good" he smiled, too, stealing another kiss from you.
"But, Jinnie, you know…" you sighed, trying to look for the right words. "You know this doesn't mean everything is magically, one hundred percent okay between us… don't you? I mean, we did just—but, we're not…"
He nodded, with that simple act of his letting you know he understood. "I know. I have to show you I mean everything I said…" his hands softly traced their way down your arms, until they reached your hands. "But it's a start, right?"
You smiled, looking down at your hands as your fingers interlocked with his. "Mhm… I guess it is".
"I'll be better, I promise" his thumbs drew tender circles on your skin. "I'm done being scared of commitment".
"I'm not trying to push you, though…" you mumbled. "I mean, I wasn't trying… if you're still having doubts—"
"I'm not".
"Don't feel like you need to stay, because if you end up changing your mind later on—"
He shut you up with a lingering kiss. "There's no changing my mind this time".
"I get that it can be pretty scary…"
"Not when it comes to you anymore".
Speechless, you stared into his genuine, determined eyes for a moment, while you tried to take every word of his in. Once you did, you showed him you appreciated his efforts by gently pressing your mouth to his for what could easily be the hundredth time that night.
"Please don't change your mind tomorrow…" you pleaded, failing at trying to hide just how heartbreaking that mere thought was to you.
"I'd be damned to" he whispered, sweetly yet reassuringly squeezing your hands. "I'm actually scared you'll change your mind tomorrow".
"I won't" you reassured him in a heartbeat.
"I won't either," he repeated. "So I guess you're stuck with me now".
"I'm not opposed to that…" you shyly chuckled, having his lips back on yours in a second.
Feeling his hands abandon yours to be placed on your waist instead, knowing all too well that was his way to deepen the kiss, you found yourself resting your palms on his chest to try and push him away before things began to escalate all over again.
"I should really leave now…" you announced, clumsily walking backwards towards the door as he followed without letting go.
"Just one more" he mumbled against your lips, sucking on your bottom one and bringing his other hand to your nape, to prevent you from pulling away just yet.
"Hyunjin…" you warned him with a smile.
"Okay, okay" he stole one last kiss. "I'm done".
"God, who would've thought you'd be so clingy" you pointed out in feigned annoyance, earning a proud smirk from him.
"Oh, you've seen nothing yet, baby".
Rolling your eyes at him, you reached for the doorknob, unlocking it before you finally were able to make your way out of the bedroom — not without first having warned him about not even daring to come out of there right after you did.
Although he would've loved to do just that and have everyone at the party know the two of you were together, he followed your wishes, only walking up to the door once you were out of there so he could lock it back. So that no one would accidentally find out he had, too, been in there all along.
Turning around and walking towards the bed, he was met with the mess you had made on it together, and he couldn't help the smile that parted his lips as the memories flooded his mind.
He knew sex was great, that was pretty much the main reason he liked being single so much — being able to sleep around with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But fuck, no one had ever told him just how much, much better it felt when it was with the one person you had feelings for.
It had never felt as good as it did with you.
It had never made him want to stay before. Stay all night if possible, like he had wished to stay with you — hugging you, kissing you, cuddling you, caressing you.
And that could only reassure him of his feelings for you. If anything, he was now realising they seemed to be way stronger than he had thought.
Covering his eyes, he slumped down on his back as a small giggle escaped his mouth. He was aware that he looked like a mad man right then, but the ghost of your lips on his and your hot skin against his was more than enough for him not to care about it and, instead, allow himself to get lost in the fresh memories of you.
He was the happiest he had ever been, and he would do everything in his power to keep it that way. To show you he had meant every single word that had come out of his mouth that night.
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tag list: @blaaiissee @hyuneytoast @staysuki @tardiscompanion @princehyun-jin @hyuka-luvbot @halesandy @nattisbored @qnjayn @hibuki-chan @purenjuniverse @seungly @suhnnyskiess @midsoulz @kwanisms @esme-ordaz @perriwiinkle @firnze @soobin-chois @moon-320 @multifandomizer @elviransworld @valewoos @ktttwwn @hazzaloveschopsuey @hannahdinse8 @youngestdelacour @zoe8stay @leechanniee @phenomenalgirl9 @aeminju @threevracha @kai-maree @laryisthinking @wolfietara @iam2out @kingggjaay @cosmic-railwayxo @straykidsficsrecsbaby @marsophilia @choibeomgogi @ddaengpotate @oceanyocean @rinsdesires @jhslmhbtsskz @lixlovesworld @keenlampponyclam @yerimselgi @mal-lunar-28 @littlestarhyun
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kaiser1ns · 4 months
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𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗶 𝘆𝘂𝗷𝗶 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿
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╹synopsis :: in which someone beats itadori's record in the arcade.
╹contents :: fem!reader, fluff, love at first sight, megumi the moral support guy
╹notes :: my first work <3 hope you enjoy it! sorry for any grammar mistakes.
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strolling trough the bustling shopping center, itadori's eyes caught a glimpse of the punch boxing machine infront of the arcade. "hey, fushiguro! want to give it a try?"
the pinkette excitedly points at the metal box going straight to it, while megumi just followed his best friend without even having the chance to answer. excitement sparked in him as he remembered the last time he tried his luck on it. his previous score was still displayed on the screen.
with a grin, itadori inserted a coin and took a deep breath. just do it like nanami. the machine's target pads lit up, as he unleashed a powerful punch causing the machine to shake. a few people around them turned their attention to the display, curious to see if the boy could surpass the record - 976.
fushiguro watched with his usual nonchalant expression, crossing his arms as he observed his friend's determined efforts. the tension in the air was strong, as the score climbed higher and higher. 973 ... 974 ... 975
but alas, itadori fell just short of surpassing his previous record. he let out a groan, wiping the imaginary sweat from his forehead, murmuring something about this being a warm-up. "you are slacking off, again." the raven head said, taking out his phone and taking a picture of yuji's expression. "i knew that I should have trained with nanami yesterday."
disappointed but still in high spirits, yuji turned away from the machine, ready to explore other attractions in the arcade. but just then, a girl with striking h/c hair approached the punching boxing machine, her eyes gleaming with determination. she inserted a coin with a confident smile, her fingers flexing in anticipation.
as the machine activated, she unleashed a punch that left the crowd in awe. the score on the screen skyrocketed, surpassing itadori's record with ease. the red neon lights went on screening NEW RECORD 1000. his jaw dropped, and he couldn't help but be impressed by the mysterious girl.
the said girl turned to itadori, panicked from the result she herself didn't expect to achieve. "i'm sorry! ididn't meant to break your record." he could see the genuine concern in her eyes, and a small smile played on his lips.
itadori applauded the performance giving her a thumbs up. "are you serious? that was amazing! you really know how to throw a punch." the mysterious girl, relieved by his positive reaction, blushed at his comment. "thank you" she replied, a shy smile playing on her lips.
as they continued to stare and smile at eachother making small talk about different ways to score more, megumi's phone suddenly ringed signaling it's time to go home. he signed, as he didn't want to do this "i'm sorry to interrupt your lovely time, but we have to go" itadori looked at him with a pleading look as if telling him to have 5 more minutes.
"it's okay, itadori! here save your number on my phone." as instructed he did so, returning the phone to her, his heart beating fast because of the fact that the pretty girl wanted his number. yuji smiled, bidding his and megumi's goodbye. "i will see you soon, y/n!"
as they parted ways, yuji and y/n thought about their future dates, who knows maybe the next thing to break are going to be their friends boundaries, hopefully turning into something more.
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BONUS:
"do you think if i ask gojo-sensei , he can enroll y/n in jujutsu high?"
"do you seriously think that he will allow someone with no knowledge of curses to enroll and have their life in danger?"
"but she is so strong and pretty! she will manage, we can ask if maki has another pair of glasses." the vessel was met with a smack on his head.
"idioit." but in secret, megumi was happy about his best friend.
©2024 kaiser1ns do not copy, repost or modify my work.
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harry-on-broadway · 6 months
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Fancy Dress
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Word Count: 3.4K || Rating: M
A/N: So this was supposed to be posted in time for Halloween, but better late than never I guess. It can be read on its own, but I've been thinking of it as a sequel to last year's Harryween one-shot. It's not much, but I hope at least a few people enjoy it. 🫶🏻
***
“Gonna dress up for me again this year?” 
Those words had echoed through your head since he’d whispered them in your ear as the first glimpses of dawn pushed through the cloudy London skies. His body, warming yours as he inched closer to you on your pillow, threw off heat, stronger than any radiator you’d ever encountered, and you scooted closer to him in an attempt to ward off the chill of the room. 
“What are you talking about?” Your voice was hoarse, still thick with sleep. 
“For Halloween.”
“You hate Halloween.” You twisted in his arms to roll over and face him. “You’ve made that clear many times.”
“A man can change his mind.”
You sighed. “What happened to ‘Tour’s over. Let’s do something quiet this year?’ Hmm?”
Harry traced a line down your spine and you shivered under his touch. “Doesn’t have to be a big deal. Can be just the two of us.” 
“Well, I’m planning on dressing up as ‘woman who wants to snuggle and eat candy with her boyfriend.’ Accessories include sweatpants and a hoodie, as well as candy and an Apple TV remote.” You felt his laugh against your hair. “Best news of all, it’s a couples costume,” you continued. 
“Oh is it?” 
“Mmhmm. And if you don’t want in, it’s OK. I’ll just call my other boyfriend.”
“Your other boyfriend?!?!” Harry easily flipped you so you were lying trapped underneath him and began pressing feverish kisses against your skin as he tickled your sides. “You better take that back.” 
“Giovanni would never do this,” you laughed.
“He has a name?!” 
You laughed even harder as Harry doubled down on his efforts, forgetting about Halloween all together. 
***
Harry didn’t let the topic rest over the next couple of weeks, sending pictures of costumes – some tame, some a little sexier – throughout the day, earning a fair number of eye rolls from you. 
“What? I’m just trying to brainstorm.”
You looked up from your computer. “Why is this so important to you? Halloween’s never been a big deal. And it’s essentially been a work event for you for the past two years.” 
“I mean,” he shifted in the seat. “Last year was really…nice,” he said thoughtfully. “I liked getting to spend time with you.”
“You liked having sex,” you corrected. 
“Which technically counts as spending time with you.” He ignored your glare and turned thoughtful. “I’m just kidding, but really, I liked getting to spend a fun night with you and would love to do it again. If you feel the same way.”
You softened hearing how much that night meant to him. “Doesn’t it feel less special when it’s not a surprise?”
“I’m going to be honest, love, I really don’t care how it happens as long as you’re naked in my bed.” There was a slightest hint of a blush across his cheeks, and you felt a heat flame across yours as well. You’d been together for awhile now, with no plans of leaving each other anytime soon, but such an intimate admission felt vulnerable.
“You are such a boy,” you chided, not willing to let him onto the jolt of pride you felt at being so openly desired by him. “But we’ll see how I feel.” 
“I can work with that,” Harry said, turning back to his phone, a sly grin on his face.
***
The invitation arrived a few days later. A friend of a friend who he hadn’t seen in ages was throwing a “fancy dress party,” which despite your early assumptions was not a black tie affair. You weren’t that enthusiastic about going, and you could tell Harry was forcing himself to be excited, not wanting to let a friend down. 
“It’ll be fun,” he said, sounding more like he was convincing himself rather than you. “We don’t have to stay the whole time either.”
“Whatever makes you happy, babe,” you said, kissing his cheek. “Pick out whatever costume you want and we can go from there.” 
Picking the costume was easier said than done and the two of you spent much of the next week bickering over who had the better idea. Harry’d been pushing for Barbie and Ken, but you’d dismissed the idea as overdone. And your own suggestion of Paolo and Isabella was shut down by Harry who said he didn’t get the reference. It wasn’t until you all were flicking through the channels on the couch when you all came up with your idea. 
“It’s perfect,” Harry said, grinning at the screen. 
“And super easy,” you added. 
Which is how you all found yourself walking into the party dressed as two characters out of The Notebook, thanks to the blue dress you’d found in the back of your closet and the white button down Harry had pulled from his. You’d offered to splash some water on him to add authenticity, but he declined. 
You weren’t sure what you were expecting but the party was a surprisingly low-key affair. Classic simple costumes – vampires with plastic fangs and lipstick blood stains and black cats with felt ears – mixed with some that were more of the moment, ranging from a half-assed Barbie and Ken to what appeared to be Harley Quinn and the Joker. 
“Told you,” you whispered against his ear, as he passed you a drink, looking on as a Barbie walked by looking for her Ken, earning you an elbow to the ribs. 
“Nice look,” Johnny said, fixing a drink of his own. “How did Harry convince you?”
“It was actually a group effort,” you said, with a laugh. 
“Felt a little like fate. We were watching TV one night, the movie was on and it was like a lightbulb went off,” Harry said, wrapping his arm around you. 
“It was easy too,” you chimed in. 
Even though you all had been together for a while, Harry’s circle was so vast that you still hadn’t met many of them, making the party a little nerve wracking, a bunch of faces that weren’t familiar yet. But Harry stayed by you the entire night, hand in hand, steering you around the party, introducing you to his favorite people, and shielding you from the ones he wasn’t as fond of. Going into the evening, you all had made a pact to stay for only an hour, but two had passed by the time either of you looked at the clock. 
“OK to stay a little longer?” he asked and you’d nodded, before turning your attention back to Erin and her story about a costume contest gone wrong. 
Three hours in, you found yourselves on a couch in the back of the house. The room had unofficially been designated at the quiet zone, with a few people taking calls or a breather before returning to the party. Harry flopped down on the end of the sofa, pulling you onto his lap before sighing contentedly. 
“Are you tired?” You rested your forehead against his as pressed a gentle kiss to the bridge of his nose. 
“A little.”
“Well that’s too bad,” you said softly. “Guess I won’t be able to give you your treat tonight.” 
At the mention of the treat, he perked up tremendously. “I mean I’m not that tired. I’d hate to miss it after you put in the effort.” His eyes were steely as he held your gaze. 
“You don’t even know what it is!”
“Doesn’t matter. I don’t think you could ever disappoint me.”
You grinned and shifted in his lap, causing your dress to slip up and you guided his hand up your bare leg to rest just under the hem of your dress. His fingers groped blindly and when they reached the edge of your lacy undergarments his eyes widened. 
“Oh fuck,” he whispered against your neck. 
“Do you like it?”
“Do I like it?!”
“I mean you haven’t seen it yet…” 
“I’ll bloody well be pleased with anything you wear,” he breathed against your neck. 
“Thirty more minutes and then we’ll head out?”
“Fuck that, we’re leaving now.” He gently pushed you up and out of his lap before standing and nearly dragging you to the door.
Harry made a beeline for your coats and bags, and when he had them in hand he caught your eye and nodded towards the front door. You held up a finger and signaled for him to wait before enacting the second phase of your plan. Slowly, you walked up to the first person you could see, thanking them and chatting some more about the party. You repeated this for the next person and the next and the next, until you finally found yourself reunited with Harry. 
“Ready?” you asked. 
“It’s not funny.”
“What?” you asked, feigning innocence. 
“Making me wait when I’m…” Your eyes drifted down to his pants. “How bad is it?” he asked, almost wincing. 
“Not bad, baby, but we should probably do something about that.” 
“You don’t say? Please, for the love of God, get in the car.” 
You laughed, enjoying having him beg for you. “Whatever you say.” 
What followed was the most tense car ride in recent memory. Harry’s leg bounced up and down, his hand gripped tight on your thigh as he looked ahead. His breathing was even and measured but the intensity in his eyes told you he felt anything but. You smiled, pleased with the effect you had on him. 
When the driver pulled through the gate, Harry thanked him, quickly and politely, and you did the same, scurrying along when Harry all but pulled you up the path, jamming his key in the lock and throwing the door open. You closed the door behind you, securing the deadbolt when Harry spun you around and pressed you against the door. 
He held your face, angling it to look up at him and he took a shaky breath, before pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was surprisingly restrained, almost chaste, but you savored the way he felt so close against you. Again and again he kissed you. Lips, neck, cheeks, no part of you went unnoticed. You wanted to show him the same affection, but he wouldn’t give you the chance. His hands found your shoulders, pulling your coat off, and then working the straps of your dress down your shoulders, his lips trailing in the wake of his hands. 
After a few moments, you managed to pant out a single word. “Upstairs?” 
Harry pulled back, his lips plump and pink from his efforts, his hair messed from the way your fingers had been threaded through it. “Yeah,” he managed to nod, looking dazed, and you took the lead this time, pulling him towards the stairs. 
In your haste to get to the bedroom, you tripped, over the step or your own feet, you weren’t sure, and landed face first on the carpet, Harry tumbling down after you. 
“If you wanted me on top of you love, all you had to do was ask,” Harry muttered, as you shoved his shoulder. “Are you OK?” 
“I’m fine. You?” 
“No worse for wear. Shall we try this again?” He pushed up from the stairs and offered his hand, which you gladly took. Slower this time, you all continued up the stairs and into the bedroom, where Harry sat on the bed, pulling you onto his lap. “Sure you’re good to do this.” 
You nodded. “Yes, I just need a minute to get ready.”
“Get ready?” Harry arched his brow. “Tell me more.”
“You need to close your eyes.”
“Close my eyes…OK.” He shut his eyes and you wriggled out of his grasp, walking over to your dresser and doing your best not to make a sound as you fished around for the headband you’d stashed there earlier. 
“What is this?” Harry called from across the room. “Some sort of Notebook roleplay? Do you have a thing for Gosling too?” 
“Hush, or you’re not getting your treat.”
That silenced him and you double checked to make sure the accessory was secured on your head. You shimmied out of your dress until you were wearing nothing but your second costume. If you were honest, costume was a liberal description of the flimsy Halloween store lingerie you ‘d been wearing all night. According to the package, you were a dark angel, but the only thing angelic about it was the halo that was precariously perched on top of your head. You stood in front of the mirror, surveyed yourself and tried to summon the confidence to tell Harry to open his eyes. 
“Are you taking your clothes off? I thought that was my treat!”
It was almost funny how outraged he sounded, like a petulant child robbed of a promised prize. 
“Oh I think, you’ll like what I’ve picked out for you,” you shot back. At least you hoped he would. Once you contorted yourself into the black wings that came with the ensemble, you turned to face him, still sitting on the bed with his eyes shut. You padded over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, as you climbed astride him. Once you’d settled into his lap, you uttered the word he’d been waiting for. “Open.”
His eyes flew open and you had to fight a laugh at how comical his face was. Eyes wide and mouth open he was like a teenaged boy who’d yet to see a pair of breasts, as he glanced between yours, covered in a sheer, lacy bralette and your face. 
“Fucking hell what is this?”
“You said you wanted me to dress up…”
“Yeah, I did. I did say that,” he said, wetting his lips, his eyes transfixed on your chest. 
“And I didn’t really know what to dress up as since you weren’t doing a show this year and we didn’t really have a theme and I couldn’t think anything on my own and this was the only thing left at the store and –” 
He cut you off with a kiss, more passionate than those he’d first given you in the entryway. “It’s perfect, love. Better than I could have imagined.” 
He held you tight against him as he kissed you, his fingers tangled in your hair and yours in his. You tightened the grip of your legs around his waist as you returned his kisses with a passion you didn’t think you’d ever felt before. In the heat of the moment, you rolled your hips, dragging your center over his lap and feeling every inch of his growing erection through the flimsy fabric of your panties. You moaned at the sensation and did it again. He felt even harder than before and you shuddered involuntarily at the thought of him inside you later. 
“You like that baby,” he huffed against your mouth. “Does my angel like that?” he asked as he bucked his hips. 
“Yes. Yes, please,” you replied, practically begging for more. 
“Going to be good and let me take this off of you?” His hands were on your hips, stilling your movement. 
You closed your eyes and bit your lip, nodding, not trusting yourself to speak. Suddenly you felt Harry’s teeth against your shoulder as he used his them to pull your bra strap down, the movement scratching at your skin in the most delicious way, before Harry trailed kisses down your arm, soothing the sting away. He repeated the action on the other side before placing a kiss on the side of your breast and wrapping his tongue around your nipple. Hands still on your hips, he gently pushed you, encouraging you to rock back and forth on him once again. 
You were so sensitive that even the smallest action had a massive effect. The combination of his mouth and the rhythm of your hips moving in time together had you feeling the beginnings of an orgasm deep within you, a feeling that was only magnified as he moved across your chest to your other breast. 
“Love,” Harry said after a moment, pulling away from you. 
“Yes?”
“I-I-” He started again. “We need to do something otherwise I’m not going to last.” His cheeks were red, whether from passion or embarrassment, you weren’t sure, but you nuzzled against his neck. 
“That’s alright, baby. I’m all yours.”
“Yeah, you are,” Harry said, almost as if he didn’t believe it. “Wanna get up for me?” 
You climbed off of him with wobbly legs, nearly landing on your ass – and taking Harry with you – in the process. But Harry scooped you up in his arms, helping you get comfortable on the bed, as you all laughed off the moment of clumsiness. 
“Do you want to take this off?” you asked, gesturing to the cheap black wings that were shedding all over the white sheets. 
“No, I kind of like them,” Harry said. “It’s uh…kind of sexy,” he mumbled, against your neck. 
“Noted.” 
“May I?” He’d hooked his fingers around the waistband of your panties, waiting for your nod of consent, which you readily gave him. He slowly pulled them down your legs, tossing them somewhere behind him, before moving his lips down your body. 
It was almost a ritual at this point, the way he explored you as if you were uncharted territory each time he had you naked in front of him. You’d been told this wouldn’t last forever, that all couples eventually tired of each other, that sex became a routine thing, a means to an end. That may be the case, but you secretly hoped that you and Harry were the exception to this rule. 
He’d made his way down to your thighs at this point and you opened your legs wider, inviting him in. Your back arched when you felt his fingers inside you, testing the waters. 
“So wet for me already and I’ve barely done anything. Careful love, this will go to my head.” 
You made to kick him, but he dodged your attack and managed to hit that spot in the process, drawing a cry from you. 
“Was that good?” You could hear the teasing smirk in his voice. 
“You know it was.”
He crooked his fingers, earning another moan from you as you tried to pull him up to you. “Ready so soon?” he asked, as if he wasn’t already aware. He lined himself up with you and thrust forward with no preamble. 
His sheer size still took your breath away – quite literally – and you breathed heavily at the feeling of him, all of him, inside of you. 
“Easy, love. Slow,” he said, calming you as he gave you a moment to adjust, waiting until your breath had steadied before gently rocking forward.
You angled your hips up, meeting his pace and trying to drive him as deep inside of you as possible. You brought your legs higher around him, giving him more freedom to move and his pace accelerated. 
The sounds coming from your bedroom were, quite simply, ugly. Between the moans and groans and heavy breathing, the grunts that meant move over or shift this way that you all inherently understood, the sounds of sweaty bodies rubbing against each other. It was brutal, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
“Love, I’m going to come,” Harry said, words urgent against your ear. “I’m not going to be able to hold on.” 
“It’s OK baby,” you said, encouraging him. He was always so selfless, you wanted him, just once, to take a moment for himself. “Just let go.” 
His hips stuttered, once, twice, three times in quick succession and you felt the tell-tale warmth and wetness of his orgasm between your legs. 
“Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry,” he wheezed. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” 
You sighed softly, contentment radiating through you. “You don’t have to. Sometimes it’s nice to just…” 
“Yeah…” 
The two of you lay there like that for a while, ignoring the stickiness of the sweat, and for you, the itchiness of the costume pieces that were still on you. 
Finally, Harry rolled off of you, and you cuddled into his side. 
“That was a very nice treat,” he said, voice hoarse. “I think we both need more treats.” 
“I’ll second that. And I promise next year will be even better.” 
“Next year?” Harry said aghast. “I think you deserve one of your own right now.” 
***
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nicomoon69 · 6 days
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I’ve made up so much Bernard lore in my head so I’m just going to dump it here
so post Louis Grieve in my head Bernard transferred to an all boys boarding school his junior year (someone suggested Brentwood so I’m gonna go w that). his parents sent him there as a bit of a last ditch effort to straighten him out, get up his grades and push him out of his silly habits. this also included them making him buzz off his hair since they deemed his old hair unprofessional.
all of it was a huge blow to Bernard’s already fragile mental health and self esteem so at Brentwood he was kind of a mess. he wasn’t exactly a bad student but the people around him considered him even more of an outsider than he was before at Louis Grieve.
eventually Bernard did find himself with a small group of friends (might further develop them as ocs??) who were much like him outsiders. one of said friends also being the first time he fooled around with a guy, which led to several more though none of it was ever serious.
there was lots of denial at first but by the time his time at Brentwood ended Bernard had accepted himself as queer.
he applied for a few colleges, some outside of Gotham but he ended up settling for GU bc part of his couldnt handle leaving his city behind. he chose a double major because he thought that would make his parents most proud and bc biology and physics were the only subjects he enjoyed.
despite everything seemingly going well for Bernard he felt an emptiness that nothing could fix, that is until he found the Children of Dionysus. despite knowing the risks of joining a cult he did. he was in the cult for roughly eight months before he got kidnapped to get sacrificed.
that was a rough version of what happened in my head. I have some more details that I couldn’t fit smoothly into that word vomit so here’s some more
Bernard came out to his parents his first semester, which they took pretty badly and led him to getting kicked out and having to couch surf for a bit before landing on the apartment he was living in during TD:R.
to keep himself afloat with no support from his parents Bernard worked two jobs, one at a diner around the corner of his apartment and the other at a coffee shop closer to GU.
at Brentwood Bernard did a lot of experimental stuff with his appearance ranging from spiking his hair after it had grown out a bit to getting his ears pierced multiple times. a tongue piercing came along somewhere in his time at the cult and Bernard genuinely doesn’t remember getting it.
during junior and senior year Bernard joined the basketball team. he was surprisingly good considering he had never showed any interest in the sport and wasn’t particularly athletic before then. basketball somehow also led him to training himself in martial arts.
since I do hc the Children of Dionysus to have some more Dionysian practices I think Bernard developed both a distaste for wine and eating raw meat (omophagia).
Bernard has been refusing to get drastic hair cuts after the buzz cut and is unlikely to get one any time soon. he’s been taking kitchen scissors to his hair and freestyling it if he feels it needs more shape.
though he’s been out for a while Bernard hasn’t actually dated anyone long term before Tim. most people he’s been with were flings or were blocked after a few dates.
the way Bernard got into contact with the cult is through one of his high school classmates, who he’d seen talk about the ways that joining it had improved their life and how they were much more enlightened. he due to his circumstances was an easy victim after his initial skepticism
there’s just a lot of permanent scarring due to the cult, but Bernard doesn’t bother covering them up with make up or clothes. at least not post getting rescued.
Bernard actually goes to therapy after the cult and was also diagnosed with autism (let me project a teeny bit). it helped him make more sense of his life and gave him more direction.
his cooking passion came from his early childhood, being dimmed out in middle school and only returning after high school. he mostly enjoys writing his own recipes and experimenting with taste. there was ofc the added challenge of budget, but it was one of the few things that made him happy.
his conspiracy theorist side mostly calmed down until he was thrust back into it when he started dating Tim. this was due to odd behavior from Tim and until Bernard found out he was RR (which really didn’t take that long) he was balls deep on conspiracy blogs and threads. he didn’t really quite after putting the RR pieces together though, bc he enjoyed being able to subtly help Tim with his cases.
due to the two jobs and double major previously mentioned Bernard has a terrible sleeping schedule. he regularly stays up past three only to have a morning shift that starts at seven.
gonna quite rambling for now lol, might edit this post to add more in the morning but I’m sick of typing. sorry if it’s a lot, I just think abt him a lot……. yea..
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silantryoo · 6 months
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BONUS [ LIKEALOOK ] — you owe me
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minjeong's dorm, 12:12 am.
WARNINGS ; blood, mild violence, physical violence, god complex, slut shaming, victim blaming, victim complex (3.6k)
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minjeong wasn't mediocre.
as soon as she could form thoughts, minjeong knew that she was worth something more.
yangsan was charming, in a sense. it was littered with people who knew each other, who would attend the same recitals, and talk about the same problems. soon enough, minjeong found herself walking by the same couple of faces daily, waving at the same people and thanking the same adults.
it was monotonous, and there was nothing more annoying than boredom.
minjeong had always wished that her parents had worked harder like she did. she wished that they would've put more effort into pleasing her, even if they would bend their backs to get her whatever she desired.
it wasn't so she could get rewarded for her efforts. it was because she deserved it. it was because she had always done everything right, because she was right.
she was kim minjeong. she needed the best in order to continue to be the best.
soon, she had outgrown yangsan.
minjeong had begged her parents to go to high school in seoul, despite living across the country. her brother, kim minseo, decided to stay behind, not wanting to restart the life he had built, to stay with his girlfriend.
at least, that was what minjeong had said to the girls.
she refused to show the truth, the hardships and tears that her parents went through as a young kim minjeong threatened to run away if she didn't get what she wanted. she refused to relive the berating of her younger brother as he tried to convince her that their parents would nearly go bankrupt if she kept asking for something beyond their reach, or how he decided to stay in yangsan to lessen the burden of taking care of funds (and how he dropped out to work a crappy job to help with the situation).
kim minjeong didn't care, because she always got what she deserved.
being in the capital of south korea was her right. being in one of the SKYS, being with the girl was her right.
kim minjeong would never settle for less.
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y/n could hear the door rattling, the hinges shaking at every pound of yuri's fist.
her stomach churned, the thought of seeing her now ex-friend nearly making her sick. she had tagged along despite the gnawing in the back of her head, telling her that seeing minjeong was essentially a death sentence.
in her head, y/n assumed that everything would be fine. she assumed that it would hurt less than jimin, less than wonyoung.
she was wrong.
"unnie..." she clenched her eyes tightly, tugging on the back of yuri's sweater. "i changed my mind."
minjeong broke her, in a way.
it lingered like cheap, store-bought alcohol. it was a deep, unsettling feeling like her chest had been weighed down by something and she wasn't sure what. y/n didn't know what to think except why. why had minjeong - someone she loved so deeply - betrayed her like this?
kim minjeong was her best friend, her sister.
(and despite everything, she didn't want yuri to knock minjeong's tooth out.)
"minju-unnie, do something." y/n looked over to the older kim, face void of emotion. "jiwonnie?" she turned to the younger, finding her expression the exact same.
y/n couldn't help but sigh.
she had always wanted someone in her corner, especially growing up as an only child. y/n wanted someone who she loved unconditionally, and who loved her the same. sure, she had amazing parents, but she had always yearned for the connection that everyone seemed to have.
she could live without romantic love, like the winter could live without snow. but it was different when it came to friendship - to family.
everyone had someone they could call their family. wonyoung had hyunseo, her younger half-sister whom the older jang swore she would protect. yuri had minju (and jiwon by default) who, even though they weren't blood-related, had always spent her holidays with the kims. even jimin had aeri, the two more akin to sisters than friends up until recently.
y/n had minjeong. at least she thought she did.
the door creaked open, letting the warm air blow through the small crevice. minjeong popped her head out, glaring at yuri as her eyes adjusted to the corridor light.
y/n missed when minjeong's presence felt like family.
minjeong opened her mouth to speak, but as she glanced over at y/n, everything seemed to stop.
"y/n?"
jo yuri wasn't strong, not physically. but what minjeong lacked in bite, yuri compensated by tenfold.
she rammed the door wide open, using her entire body weight to send minjeong stumbling back, landing on her rear. yuri fell along with her, nearly landing beside her if it weren't for y/n suddenly holding her steady.
"that hurt like hell." yuri whined, ignoring minju rolling her eyes. the kim would have to scold her later.
"you could've just pushed the door open." jiwon scratched her cheek as the older girl rubbed her shoulder.
y/n looked at minjeong, watching as she looked between all of them. the older girl looked frightened, and it broke her heart to know that she was the cause of it.
"i didn't think about that."
she wondered if minjeong felt the same.
"y/n," the kim's eyes met hers. "she hurt me."
y/n could feel the pain bubbling in her chest. it hurt to see minjeong like this, and it hurt even more that she didn't want to help.
kim minjeong was a stranger.
"i'll do it again!" yuri tried to lunge forward, being held back by y/n as minjeong stood up.
the two were equally versed but y/n was afraid that yuri would end up biting a chunk out of minjeong given the circumstances.
y/n looked at her, hoping that her minjeong - the one she would talk to during her lowest points and the one who she ran to whenever anything happened - was still there.
she wasn't.
(or maybe, she never existed.)
"let's just go, unnie." y/n gripped yuri's shoulder lightly. the sinking in her chest was starting to get too overwhelming.
yuri didn't care, at least not right now. not when y/n seemed more torn up over minjeong than wonyoung (and it took minju convincing her for ten minutes straight to not jump the volleyball player).
minju stared at y/n, watching as tears started to form in her eyes. gently, she rested her hand on yuri's other shoulder, motioning to y/n. she could feel yuri relax.
hurting minjeong would hurt y/n more (for now. but if yuri ever got a chance...)
she turned to y/n, smiling softly. wordlessly, yuri nodded, and y/n finally felt the connection she had so desperately longed for.
y/n knew she would survive.
the girls turned to leave, and minjeong could see that her last chance was nearly out of her grasp. she couldn't let y/n go, not now, not ever.
minjeong whined like a toddler whose toy got taken away. "you're gonna leave me here?"
y/n stopped, looking down as guilt and anger began to wrack her body. jiwon looked at the older girl, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.
"unnie?"
"i didn't want to do it!" minjeong tried to reason, grasping at anything that would make y/n stay. "you have to believe me!"
yuri inhaled, fighting all the thoughts and urges to rip a clump of hair out of minjeong's (unfortunately) unscathed scalp. she'd find another time to jump the girl, hopefully soon.
y/n turned around, her cheeks wet from the stream of tears cascading down her face. "it didn't look like that."
"y/n." minju faced the girl, shaking her head. "don't talk to her."
"shut up, minju." minjeong snarled. this was her chance. she just needed y/n to listen. "i did it out of love. i knew if you saw how jimin would just fuck any girl then-"
y/n scoffed.
"what is it?" losing someone never got easier, but losing family seemed to hurt the worst. "did she make you fuck her? or did you do it to 'show' me?"
minjeong looked down, void of guilt as she tried to find any excuse to justify her actions. she knew she was in the right, especially since she did everything for y/n, for love.
love conquers all, even logic.
"tell me the truth." y/n could feel her voice starting to break. she could feel herself getting weighed down by the confusion. she could feel herself getting ripped to shreds. "tell me why."
minjeong couldn't help but love the way y/n looked in the dark. she loved how her cheeks flushed, and the way her voice cracked as she begged for her.
she wanted - needed - y/n, every teardrop, and every whine.
"i knew it." y/n ignored jiwon's attempts to get her out of the room, letting her emotions take the better of her. "i trusted you, minjeong. i trusted you with my life. i would've never done this to you... ever."
y/n prayed it was a lie. this couldn't be her minjeong, her best friend who she trusted fully with her life. she prayed that it was some sick joke, like all of this was a prank and a television crew would come out, shoving a camera in her face.
but it was too real. the pain felt too real.
"i don't understand." y/n let a sob slip out, and minjeong couldn't help but note the pain that was caused by her, for her. "i thought you were my best frien-"
y/n loved her. she had to.
"i love you." minjeong stood up, walking closer to y/n. "i loved you since the day i met you, since the day i knew that you were mine."
y/n looked at minjeong.
she could smell the cup noodles that lay empty on minjeong's desk. she could hear the soft hum of her laptop, churning the heat out of its system. she could feel the warm air basking around her, like a soft blanket.
but all y/n could feel was shock.
"...what?"
minjeong needed y/n. she needed to be y/n's everything - her pain, her sorrows, her love, her lust. she needed the pretty girl that you find on screen to be hers and only hers.
y/n was her reward, her trophy for being an outstanding person and and even better lover.
it was written in stone.
"i know you love me back, y/n." minjeong had never been more hopeful in her life. she knew that everything at this moment was because of everything she did right. "this hurts you because you love me back, right? because you and i are meant to be. i'm yours and you're mine."
y/n could feel her ears ringing.
"what the fuck..." yuri covered her mouth, looking at the kims, whose eyes were wide open.
"i've always treated you right. i've always done everything right." she did all the research, all the tips and tricks. she did it all for y/n. "i never said no to you, i let you be happy, i let you do whatever you want. i did everything right, right?"
y/n couldn't breathe.
she felt disgusted, almost violated. she had trusted minjeong with her life, and the entire time, the older girl had ulterior motives.
(and deep down, y/n knew that she was the reason why she had ended up with jimin in the first place.)
minjeong kept her gaze locked on the younger girl. she could feel her heart beating out of her chest.
y/n wanted to see her, despite having her heart broken by her. she chose to be near minjeong. it meant something. it had to.
"i'm sorry."
minjeong furrowed her eyebrows.
"i don't love you, minjeong."
minjeong had never been denied anything. she had gotten into all the SKYS, gotten all the scholarships, and gotten all the love from her parents.
it wasn't supposed to be like this.
"what?"
"i've never seen you that way, minjeong." minjeong shook her head furiously, refusing to believe the words coming out of y/n's mouth. "you were always just my friend, maybe a sister at most."
this wasn't right. this wasn't how it was supposed to play out.
"but i did everything you wanted!" she had sacrificed her time, her money. "i even let you fuck whoever you want!"
"she was never yours, minjeong." minju glared at minjeong.
"shut the hell up!" minjeong gritted her teeth. minju had no right to take away what was hers. "you're acting like your girlfriend doesn't fuck bitches on the side."
yuri's eyes widened, trailing over to minju. to her left, jiwon was expressionless.
"what?" chaewon had always hidden her phone until recently. even at the party, it looked like the older girl was actively avoiding someone. "chaewon wouldn't."
she trusted chaewon. minjeong had to be lying.
"ask jimin." minju could feel the air being sucked out of her lungs. "she has videos of everything chaewon does for her."
minju hated crying.
she hated getting her makeup ruined. she hated the way streaks would carve away parts of her foundation, and how her eyes would sting as her mascara mixed with her tears. she hated how weak and vulnerable she felt, like her mask had been stripped away and she was back to being that ten year old holding her sister as they both sobbed at the thought of their family being ripped apart.
minju never cried.
she never cried at her graduation, or her eighteenth birthday. she didn't cry when her grandma died. she didn't even cry when chaewon and her broke up.
but she cried when she found out her parents divorced.
"unnie?"
jiwon hadn't seen her sister cry in years.
"you fucking bitch!" y/n quickly grabbed yuri's waist, pulling her back as she tried to jump at minjeong. making one of them cry was pushing it, but two was too much.
minju couldn't stop the tears anymore. no matter how hard she tried to hold it back, all she could think of was chaewon, of how much she loved her and how much it hurt.
minju wiped her tears quickly, but nothing helped as she stared at her younger sister.
"ji" she was supposed to be stronger for her. "i'm sorry."
jiwon was at her limit.
she could forgive minjeong for leaving her at the party. in fact, she already did. jiwon forgave her, despite the fear she had when yujin and gaeul had left her and an extremely drunk rei alone. she could forgive minjeong for how she never checked up on her after, and how she pretended that jiwon didn't exist outside of the group.
she couldn't forgive this.
"it's not my fault chaewon's a whore." minjeong loved the rush of seeing someone so hurt. "minju's always liked girls she could never ge-"
jiwon was always the stronger kim.
a loud thud echoed through the room, and jiwon could feel her knuckle make contact with minjeong's cheekbone. the force of all the pent up anger (which honestly felt good to release) sent minjeong stumbling back, craddling her cheek.
yuri looked at the younger kim in shock.
"i... i didn't mean to!" jiwon panicked, looking at minjeong's now bleeding face. "i got angry. she, she left me by myself at that party. she made y/n-unnie upset. she's always looked down on me and yuri-unnie. unnie, she made you cry. i swear it was just by accident, i just-"
minju smiled, patting her younger sister's shoulder.
"jiwon. i love you, yeah?" jiwon took a deep breath, smiling awkwardly. "just calm down, okay?"
"okay." she nodded, looking at her now bruised hand. "are you gonna tell mom?"
"no, ji." minju shook her head. "i won't."
jiwon couldn't help but sigh in relief. "okay."
"y/n," minjeong whined again. the pain in her cheek was starting to spread across her face, and the cut was starting to bleed. "she hit me. aren't you gonna help me?"
"you can do it yourself." y/n sighed, not wanting to stay any longer.
she didn't know why she felt more worried about jiwon's hand than the cut on minjeong's cheek. all y/n knew was that she was tired of everything.
she just needed a break.
"that's not fair." minjeong didn't understand why y/n couldn't see it. "it's what i deserve after i treated you right."
"i didn't need you to treat me right." y/n didn't know how else to explain it. "i needed you to treat me like a friend."
"but i love you." minjeong loved the way y/n needed her. "i don't wanna be just your friend. it's not fair."
the world had always been filled with only yes's for minjeong, sakura being a fluke.
she didn't understand why it happened again.
"i don't owe you anything, minjeong."
minjeong frowned. "but you owe wonyoung something?"
maybe jimin was right. maybe the only person standing in the way of her and y/n was wonyoung. it was the girl who had everything, despite being nothing.
minjeong hated jang wonyoung.
"wonyoung has nothing to do with this." y/n said truthfully.
"you love her, don't you?" minjeong always lost to the bad guys. "even after she treated you like shit."
"wonyoung never treated me like shit." y/n countered. the argued at times, like couples always do, but wonyoung had always treated her like royalty. "we disagreed at times but-"
"but i never disagreed with you!" minjeong could feel the cut on her cheek move as she scrunched her face. "i said everything you wanted to hear!"
y/n wanted a lot of things.
"but it was never what i needed."
"you don't know what you need." minjeong reasoned, her cheek now swelling against her hand. "i'm what you need."
"jiwon," yuri looked at the younger kim, fresh cuts on her knuckle. "punch her again."
minju rolled her eyes, shaking her head as jiwon looked at her for permission. "don't."
"let's just go." y/n sighed. the longer they stayed, the more likely jiwon and yuri were gonna get arrested. "jiwon's gonna need to ice her hand."
jiwon looked at her hand and shrugged.
"it's okay! i feel great!" the younger kim smiled, flexing her hand. "i feel like i can jump from the roof right now, like superman."
"i would pay money to see that."
minju sighed. she was happy that yena didn't come, otherwise she was sure to egg yuri on and jiwon would most likely jump off the second-floor balcony.
"oh." a slurred voice entered the room as the smell of weed wafted from behind the girls. "hi?"
they turned around, coming face to face with someone unfamiliar.
her hair was bleached blonde, her body draped in expensive clothing. all of them could tell from her eyes that she was going to have no recollection of their meeting.
y/n had never seen someone so high out of their mind.
"sorry," minju bowed slightly. "we were just leaving."
they looked at each other, walking out quietly before the girl grabbed y/n's arm gently.
"wait." she squinted, y/n taking note of how bloodshot the girl's eyes were. "you're the girlfriend."
y/n looked around. "me and jimin aren't together anymore."
"jimin?" the girl didn't know jimin had a girlfriend. "i was talking about vicky?"
y/n didn't know of a vicky on campus. of course, she didn't know the majority of the people but she assumed that she would've at least heard of her.
sensing her confusion, the girl continued to speak.
"victory?" she let go of y/n's arm as the taller girl looked at her friends who all shrugged. "like vicky jang?"
"wonyoung?" y/n tilted her head.
wonyoung had never been given a title before, and a sense of pride seemed to burst through her chest and into her veins. they had talked about it frequently during first year, and how wonyoung wished she had a title like yoo 'the ace' jimin or hirai 'the machine' momo.
it had a nice ring to it. wonyoung 'vicky (victory)' jang.
the girl tapped her cheek, a blush spreading across her face. "you're saying she's single?"
y/n's face darkened at the thought of girls liking wonyoung. her stomach churned as she realized that wonyoung probably liked said girls back.
she shook her head. now wasn't the time to get jealous over someone that wasn't hers.
"it was nice to finally meet you." y/n said stiffly, frowning as she pushed the girls out. she ignored yuri's teasing stares and tried her best to disregard minjeong pleading her to stay.
the room fell quiet as y/n closed the door behind her.
"unnie? were those your friends?" slowly, the girl turned to minjeong. she gasped, nearly choking as her eyes adjusted to the sight of her face.
"what the hell happened to you?"
minjeong rolled her eyes, searching for something to stop the bleeding.
"do you need ice or something?" the girl asked.
"can you fuck off, yizhuo?"
"whatever." minjeong was in one of her moods again (and not the fun ones).
she placed herself in bed as minjeong rummaged for vaseline. if minjeong was gonna act snarky, then yizhuo could find a different way to entertain herself.
she was glad jimin stayed up so late.
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