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fandomsimagined · 4 months

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Don't Go Dark - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Title: Don't Go Dark

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Female!Reader

Summary: Kaz Brekker realizes that he has feelings for his healer.

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: What you could expect from Six of Crows

A/N: This is my first time writing for Kaz, so if it's out of character, I apologize. I kind of gave up and phoned it in at the end so if you can tell, I'm sorry. Very loosely inspired by the song Don't Go Dark by Bleachers.

For most of his life, Kaz Brekker called the Barrel home–despite the fact that there was really nothing homey about it–and there was one thing that he knew for certain about the dreadful place: that it always had a tendency to contort even the purest of things into something nasty. No one was good-natured for the sake of it. If someone was kind, it was usually a ploy, as he very well knew. That was one of his first lessons in survival. Love was a weakness that oftentimes had disastrous consequences. The only thing to come from the Barrel was carnage. The currency was blood, and he’d paid his share and then some with his own, and with others. Only the most ruthless and ungodly people prospered, and prosper he did.

Believe it or not, he did remember the short life he had before the Barrel. He remembered his father and their farm, and he remembered after his father died when Jordie sold the farm with the promise that they would find fortune in Ketterdam. That was when he’d learned the most valuable lesson that there was to learn. That the only person he could truly count on was himself. To love nothing and trust no one. If he loved nothing, then there was nothing to be used against him. Nothing that anyone could take from him. It got lonely, but it had kept him alive for this long, a feat not many accomplished, so that was how he lived.

She was different. She didn’t live under the same guise of violence as the rest of Ketterdam. She didn’t have the same mentality: that things can always–and most likely will–get worse. She didn’t hold grudges. Not like Kaz did. Kaz was fueled by vengeance and spite. He took whatever was thrown at him in stride with the knowledge that he would find vindication by dealing a much harsher punishment.

The winter chill bit to the bone, an unfortunate truth for Kaz especially, whose bones were already not in well-working order. His limp was more pronounced as he made his way to his office (formerly Haskell’s). The Dregs were still bustling about, doing Saints knows what, but none would bother him. It was late, the state of his face was less pristine than when he’d left, and his permanent scowl was even more noticeable than usual. No, they would leave him be.

The meeting with the Razorgulls had gone as well as he’d expected, which was not well at all. They weren’t too happy to see him, still holding a grudge over Pekka Rollins’ quite unfortunate downfall. They’d landed a couple of punches, but he always had the upper hand, and they were smart enough when it was over to abandon Fifth Harbor entirely.

His office door was slightly ajar, something that didn’t bode well. He knew that the healer would be waiting for him, but she was never so careless to leave the door open, as there were quite a few documents and collectibles that he preferred to keep away from the other Dregs.

He pushed the rickety door open and immediately he could feel that something was off. She was sitting in the extra wooden chair that he kept there (mostly for her and Jesper since he rarely gave anyone else the privilege to stay in his office for long periods). He sat in his desk chair, his gloved fingers thumbing through the papers that he’d left. Nothing important, just something to keep him occupied.

Kaz Brekker noticed everything; meaning that Kaz Brekker noticed her trembling hands, though she tried to disguise it by keeping them folded in her lap. He noticed her red-rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks that she’d tried to hide, and he noticed that she was jumpier than usual. Something had happened, that much was obvious, but he wouldn’t push. If she wanted to talk, she would, otherwise, it was none of his concern. Though, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of anger at the mere idea of anything happening to her.

“Again? Kaz, you really should be more careful.” It was no surprise that she was born a healer. It was quite literally in her nature to be caring. She was born to fix things.

“Why? If I were to die tomorrow, all of Ketterdam would breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe even cheers to the occasion,” Kaz scoffed. It sounded grim, but it meant that he was good at what he did, so he saw it as an honor of sorts. He was in control.

“I wouldn’t.” She frowned. She moved to stand above him, getting leverage so she could properly heal his face. Her lips were pursed in concentration as her fingers hovered over a gash on his cheek. It was a strange feeling. It was like he could feel the skin stitching back together as she worked. It was like an itch. “I quite like having you around.”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere.” Kaz raised his eyebrows, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “What are you getting at? A raise?”

“Oh please, why would I even bother trying to flatter you?” She rolled her eyes. “Not when I know all I have to do is compliment Jesper’s hat, give him a few kruge to gamble away, and he’ll talk you into whatever I want.”

“And here I thought that you were too soft for the Barrel.” Kaz smirked.

“I’m serious, what are you going to do if I’m not around to fix you up?”

He thought about the statement carefully. The implication of the words. That was the confirmation he needed to push for further information. She’d opened the door. “Are you planning on going somewhere?” Maybe that’s why she was acting so strange. She seemed like the type to get all weepy about leaving. He wasn’t particularly fond of the idea himself. It would be harrowing work trying to find a new healer. Especially a trustworthy one, but he wouldn’t stop her if that’s what she wanted. He just wouldn’t pretend to be happy about either.

“No!” She exclaimed quickly. “No, of course not.” Her quick response and furrowed brow were a relief. She wasn’t planning on leaving him. Not yet, anyway.

“Well, if you’re not planning on leaving, then I suppose I don’t have to worry about it then, do I?” Kaz spoke bluntly, though he supposed if she listened close enough, she would hear the twinge of satisfaction hidden beneath. It was selfish. Ketterdam was a grim place, but he didn’t want her to leave. She made it a little less grim.

Her fingers moved eloquently, drifting over his broken nose, close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating from her palm. It did him well not to think about how close she was to him. It would probably send him into fight-or-flight mode if he did.

He winced as he felt the bone setting back into place. It was nothing that hadn’t happened before, though he wasn’t sure that he would ever get used to the damn itch that plagued the area as she was working her magic. That wasn’t what bothered him, though. What bothered him was that she hadn’t spoken again, something that was quite unlike her. Normally she would be scolding him or telling him all about whatever had happened at the Crow Club that afternoon. No, she hadn’t spoken and she hadn’t provided any elaboration to her previous statement.

“Is everything alright?” He pressed further. If it was anyone else, he would’ve left it be. A problem for another day, but this wasn’t anyone else.

“No… I mean…” She started and paused, turning to face the wall to her side as if avoiding looking at him. He was relieved that she wasn’t planning on leaving the Dregs just yet, but there was something bothering her and he couldn’t deny being slightly concerned about what it was. Had something happened at the club while he was gone? Surely one of the others downstairs would have mentioned something to him when he walked in if it had. But, there was no way to be sure.

She turned back to face him, taking a shaky breath as if trying to figure out what to say. “This afternoon while I was on my way to the club, a man grabbed me. Put a knife to my throat and said that if I didn’t give him all of my kruge, then he would slit my throat, watch me bleed out, and then take it all anyways. It wasn’t even much, just seventeen, but he was willing to kill me for it.” He clenched his jaw as she recounted the story. He wouldn’t interrupt, but he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t already plotting on what he would do when he found the bastard. She reached up to fiddle with the necklace chain that she always wore, but it was missing. He’d taken her locket too.

“I was sure he would kill me even if I gave it to him, I saw his face for Saints’ sake, but I just… It made me think about if something had happened to me, then who would be here to make sure that you didn’t get yourself killed? I mean, you’ve almost done it several times with me here and I’m one of the best healers in Kerch, not to pat myself on the back or anything…” She was one of the best healers in Kerch. That was why he’d recruited her in the first place, and that was why she was under his protection. Though, he thought that she might’ve been exaggerating. He was pretty sure, he only almost died twice, and only once was his fault.

“Who was it?” Kaz said through gritted teeth. It was unlikely that it was anyone from a rival gang. It wasn’t a secret that she was associated with the Dregs and they weren’t stupid. Pulling a stunt like that would start a war, especially since it was in Fifth Harbor. That was his territory. No, the only one that bold would be the Dime Lions, but they would’ve killed her to send a message. This was probably some random person off of the street if he had to guess. Looking for a quick buck, so they thought why not steal it? What they didn’t know was that they’d stolen it from the wrong woman.

“Kaz-”

“Who was it?” He repeated.

“It doesn’t matter. The point is, that I might not be here next time you decide to go and get yourself all bloodied up, and what if it’s more serious next time?” He didn’t like the way that she was talking so casually about the prospect of dying. Like it was inevitable, and she was making her final arrangements before she went.

“Listen to me carefully. Nothing’s going to happen to you because I won’t let it.” It was a statement not a question. He would make sure to get the message across that not only was she associated with the Dregs, but she was under the protection of Dirtyhands himself, and he would make sure to send a very clear warning as to what would happen should anyone get the bright idea to lay a finger on his crew again.

“You’re not always going to be there to protect me, Kaz. We all know it’s only a matter of time. People like me don’t make it very long here. I’m not strong, or smart, or resourceful enough…” Her eyes were glassy, trying to hold back the tears that were forming in her eyes. He was confused. None of those things could have been farther from the truth. She may have been soft, sure, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t smart or strong. She had to be strong to have put up with him for so long. He wasn’t known to be the most facile person in the world.

“Nothing is going to happen to you.” Kaz’s voice was gravelly. It was rough. In fact, he’d often heard it described as the voice of a demon, or the devil himself. There was nothing soothing about it, yet he saw her shoulders slump in what seemed to be relief. That even though the Saints had never looked out for her, he would.

She didn’t say anything else. Neither did he. That was that. There was nothing left to be said. He didn’t make promises that he didn’t intend to keep. He lied, he stole, he killed, but he didn’t break his promises. And there wasn’t a promise that he ever intended to keep more than that one.

She silently worked on mending the split on his cheek. The Razorgulls had gotten a couple of good shots in. More than he thought, and he was starting to feel it, though he wouldn’t for long.

“Stay at the Slat tonight.” He finally broke the silence. She didn’t live far, but clearly she wasn’t safe and he couldn’t have that.

“What?” She shot him a puzzled look. It was seemingly out of the blue, and he didn’t exactly give much room for any discussion.

“I want you to stay at the Slat tonight. It’s late, you shouldn’t walk home in the dark.”

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Kaz perused the selection at Alwynn’s pawn shop. When he’d noticed that her necklace had been stolen, he knew that it had probably ended up in a pawn shop somewhere. No one stole jewelry off of ladies on the street to wear. No, clearly he needed money.

He’d expected to have to go to more than one shop to find any relevant information, but no. It was almost too easy. He’d spotted the necklace on a display in the front of the store. He recognized it immediately. The dainty gold chain could’ve easily been confused, but the locket that dangled from it, couldn’t be.

“Mr. Brekker, I didn’t think of you as the jewelry type,” Alwynn gave a short laugh.

“Well, Alwynn, there are quite a few things you don’t know about me.”

“That, I’m sure of.”

“How much did you buy it for?” Kaz inquired.

“Bought it for twenty-five. Selling it for forty-two.” Kaz wasn’t surprised. Alwynn had always been a crook.

“Who brought it in?”

“I’m afraid I can’t say. Merchant-client privilege, I’m sure you understand.” Alwynn appeared nervous now. Good.

“I’ll pay double the price.”

Alwynn thought for a moment. “His name’s Griffin. He came in yesterday afternoon. He’s been staying in the alley beside Burke’s.”

“Thank you, Alwynn. It’s been a pleasure as always.” He was well aware that he probably could’ve stolen the necklace or threatened him without spending the kruge, but he decided to, for once, pick his battles. He slid over the proper amount of kruge before making his way to the door.

Kaz found Griffin exactly where Alwynn said he would be.He’d clearly been staying there, the pile of rags on the ground and empty bottles were scattered beside them. He almost felt sorry for him. He almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

Kaz approached Griffin, making his presence known. The man, probably around twenty or so, must have been at least a little intelligent, because his expression was a mixture of fear and confusion.

“Good evening Griffin,” Kaz crooned. “You know, I heard from a close source of mine that you met a lady around this area yesterday afternoon.”

“I meet a lot of ladies around here.” Griffin scoffed.

“Well, this particular lady said that you threatened her. Stole her money and a necklace. Surely you would remember that. Unless, you make a habit out of stealing from women. Do you?”

“What?”

“Do you only target women to pay for your alcohol addiction, or was this particular lady just a special case?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he sputtered.

“How much did you take?” Kaz growled, ignoring the obvious lie that had escaped from his mouth. He didn’t need an answer. He already knew. 17 kruge and her necklace (which he’d gotten thirty-five for at the shop), but he wanted to hear him admit it.

“I told you, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Even if Kaz didn’t already know he was lying, it wouldn’t have been hard to tell. The sweat beading at his forehead, the way his eyes darted, the fact that he had around fifty-two kruge worth of bottles at his feet. It was too easy.

“This wouldn’t happen to jog your memory would it?” Kaz held the chain out. Griffin’s face went pale. It was as if all of the color had simply vanished. “So, I’ll ask again: how much did you take?”

“Not a lot, just seventeen kruge, and I’ll-”

“You’ll pay it back. In fact, you’re going to pay back the seventeen that you stole, the eighty-four I had to pay to buy the necklace back from the crook you sold it to, and an extra thirty kruge for making me get out in this dreadful cold to track down you and this necklace.” Kaz felt it to be a fair trade. For him at least.

“I don’t have that kind of money.”

“Well, I suggest that you find it before the week is out. Paid in full, and after that, I don’t want to see you back in Fifth Harbor again, and if I do, I’ll make sure that you end up at the bottom of the Harbor.” He turned to walk back towards the street, but he turned back before he got there. He swung his cane, hard, at Griffin’s right hand–his dominant one–earning a howl of pain. “Next time you decide to steal jewelry from a woman on the street, I would suggest selling it to a shop that’s not only a few feet away from where you’re staying.”

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“What’s this?” She looked puzzled at the pouch of kruge that he’d dropped on the table in front of her. Kaz didn’t answer, and realization flooded over her face. “Kaz…” she gave him a stern look. “You didn’t kill him, did you? I would feel really guilty if you killed him.”

“Relax, I didn’t kill him.” Kaz scowled. “But, he won’t be bothering you or anyone else around Fifth Harbor anymore.”

“That really makes it sound like you killed him…”

“I did not kill him. I simply reminded him that it’s not very polite to threaten women.” Kaz rolled his eyes. “Besides, if I’d killed him, I wouldn’t have gotten this back, would I?” He draped the gold chain over his gloved fingers. It was beside the point that he’d found the necklace before he’d found Griffin, and that he could’ve easily gotten it back had he killed him. She didn’t need to know that.

“You got my locket back?” She gasped in disbelief. She took the chain, eyes wide. “How? Wait…” she paused. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“I’ll have you know that you’re missing out on quite the lovely story, then,” Kaz teased.

“I’m sure. I think it’ll be far lovelier if I never find out, though.” She chuckled. “Because something tells me it involved some of your more extreme measures.”

“Not extreme enough if you ask me. He got to keep all of his fingers. You know if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you’re making me soft.”

“Thank you.” She offered him a gracious smile.

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Kaz had never been one to fear others. He was fairly confident in his ability to fight his way out of a skirmish, should one come up, so why would he? He’d fought off far more men than the three in front of him on his own. What could he have to fear?

He had never been afraid, but all it took was a few goddamn words and his blood turned to ice. “It would be a shame if something were to happen to that healer of yours, wouldn’t it?” A threat. A barely subtle attempt at one. In any other case, he probably would’ve laughed it off. Come up with some witty response. He didn’t have it in him. What if it wasn’t a bluff?

“If you touch her, I swear to you, I’ll gut you,” Kaz snarled. It wasn’t the smartest move. Now, there was no doubt that he cared. That they could use her against him.

“The Bastard of the Barrel does have a heart, eh?” Rowell sneered. His last encounter with the Razorgulls hadn’t ended as smoothly as he’d hoped. They’d gone searching on him. Trying to find–well he supposed they did–find leverage. They’d finally found Kaz Brekker’s weakness.

The words echoed through Kaz’s head. “Rowell, if you touch her, I can always pay a visit to Broad Street. I seem to recall that’s where your wife and daughter are? If I find out any of your men touched my healer, I’ll put a bullet in their heads myself.” He was good for it. Rowell knew it. He had never been above killing, and that was when he didn’t have something to lose.

Rowell’s face contorted in alarm. Kaz knew where his family was. Kaz had just as much leverage as he did. The only difference was Kaz was far more ruthless than Rowell ever imagined.

“You may think you’ve found my weakness, Rowell, and maybe you have, but you should know by now that I don’t respond well to threats. If you’re going to do something, do it. Otherwise don’t waste my time and your breath just telling me about it.” With that, Kaz began his trek back to the Slat. For the first time in quite a long time, he was scared. They could very well call his bluff. By this point, Rowell could have already gotten to her by now. He’d spent so much of his time focusing on protecting her from the Barrel, that he’d forgotten that association with Kaz Brekker was the biggest threat of all.

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It had been weeks since Rowell’s threat. He hadn’t taken it lightly. He didn’t think Rowell was brave enough to do anything, but if he’d noticed, it was only a matter of time before others would too, if they hadn’t already.

He’d decided to keep his distance. That was the only way he knew how to keep her safe. Kaz Brekker was the most feared man in the Barrel because he had nothing to lose. If it came out that he did in fact care for anything… well he had a lot of enemies that would waste no time doing everything in their power to take it from him.

He’d been avoiding her altogether. She was hurt. He knew that. It was better for her to be hurt than dead.

He was making his way up the stairs to his study, ready to shut himself for the night to plan for the upcoming job he’d secured. It was nothing big, probably him, Jesper, and a couple of the newer recruits for the Dregs. Test their loyalty before anything major.

He saw her near the bar talking to Jesper, laughing at something he’d said. He swiftly turned away. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Xavier (ironically one of the new recruits he was planning to take) grab at her waist. He was quite intoxicated, slurring a remark that he couldn’t hear, but was almost certainly derogatory. She politely pushed him aside, muttering a soft ‘no thank you’, but Xavier wasn’t taking no for an answer.

Kaz didn’t even have time to think, really. He didn’t have to think. It was instinct. He ignored the pain in his leg and crossed the room. He’d never been the biggest fan of Xavier, so he didn’t feel too guilty about the punch that landed on the boy’s jaw. His knuckles throbbed from the contact, but he ignored it. When Xavier offered to try and return the blow, Kaz dodged the jab and cracked his cane over his back.

“This is a respectable establishment, and that means when a woman says ‘no’ that’s the end of the discussion.”

Kaz avoided her gaze, and made his way up to his study, but he was followed.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” Kaz muttered, sitting in his chair, finally resting his leg.

“You’ve spent weeks acting like I don’t exist, and now you’re getting in bar fights to defend me? And what? You’re just going to go back to ignoring me?” She was hardly a confrontational person, so Kaz knew that she was angry by the sudden outburst. “I don’t get it. What did I do to make you decide that you hate me?”

Surely she didn’t really believe that he hated her. “I don’t hate you.” He still didn’t look up.

“So, what is it then?” She was blinking back tears. He felt guilty, a feeling that he didn’t even know he was capable of.

“You seriously don’t get it?”

“No, I don’t get it!” She shouted.

“I care about you!” He blurted. “Far more than I should.” His confession earned a scoff. “You don’t believe me?”

She raised her eyebrows. “No, I don’t believe you. Why would I?”

“Why? What would I possibly have to gain from lying to you about that?”

“I don’t know, but I never know anything with you!”

“Fine, if you don’t believe me, then go. If you think I’m lying then why are you still here?” He didn’t believe that she didn’t believe him. She wasn’t stupid. He knew she wasn’t.

“I just want to know why! Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I already told you the truth, so what do you want from me?” Kaz suddenly felt defensive. “I care about you, and people noticed. Rowell threatened you straight to my face, and I realized that if people thought that you meant anything to me, then they’d come after you. They’d kill you to get to me, and that can’t happen.”

“So, it was that easy then? You got scared that someone was going to come after me so you decided to just stop caring? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“That is not what I said. What I said was that if they thought that you were important to me, they would come for you. I never said that meant I stopped caring.” Kaz huffed. “This is the only way that I can be sure you’re safe.”

“Did it ever occur to you that I have a stake in this too?” She was letting the tears fall freely now. “I don’t care who comes after me.”

“I can’t lose you.” Kaz shook his head.

“You don’t have to.”

“I can’t guarantee that people won’t come for you. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I haven’t exactly made a good reputation my priority.” Kaz attempted a joke, but really it served more as a warning. A glimpse into what being close to him would entail, which would mean always looking over your shoulder.

“Believe it or not, I have actually caught on to that part…” She let out a soft chuckle.

He reached up, brushing a stray piece of hair out of her face. He took the opportunity to rest his gloved hand on her cheek. He felt his body tense. His hand fell. Flashes of the nightmare that he’d endured. Jordie’s cold grey skin. The smell of waterlogged rotten flesh. It was as if he was back in the harbor. Surrounded by nothing but death and decay.

She seemed to notice his ordeal. Concern flashed through her eyes. “Are you feeling alright, Kaz?” He’d never told her about his brother. He’d never told anyone, really. As far as he was concerned, Kaz Rietveld had died in that harbor, but that wasn’t all true. If it had, he wouldn’t be damn near hyperventilating because he’d touched her. It was stupid. He was stupid. He couldn’t imagine what she was thinking. She probably thought he’d lost his mind.

“I think you need to rest,” she suggested. “I’ll run downstairs and grab you some water, I’ll be right-”

“No.” His voice came out hoarse.

“Kaz, you look like you’re about to pass out, I think you should drink something.”

“I want you to stay.” He sounded needy like a child and he hated it, but he also meant every word. “Please stay.” He grabbed her hand. Only this time, it was easier. He wasn’t thinking about death and despair. He wasn’t thinking about Jordie. He was thinking about her.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #grishaverse #six of crows #imagine #fanfiction #Spotify

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mmgwritings · 8 months

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RUIN ME, RUIN US

Characters: Kaz Brekker / Dreg ! Reader

Prompts: “I… I want you to touch me,” Kaz admits, while staring up at the ceiling, "There" cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment. (prompt created by @dumplingsjinson)

Warnings: Smut; Canon divergence; Obviously, I didn't proofread again; Masturbation; Oral Sex; NSFW; Really Long Text Sorry!

The streets were packed with people. Dazzled tourists, ravkan peasants, privileged and neglected children fought for space in the alleys with merchants, prostitutes and pickpockets - all the same, all too happy with the promises of the holiday. Nachtspel was an event during the Kerch year, in Ketterdam the party lasted for more than a week if you looked for the right club to spend money on frivolous pleasures.

This year people commented that the festival would last a month due to the visit of King Nikolai of Ravka, a tall man with a sarcastic smile who every now and then Y/N would bump into in the Slat - a place where kings didn't belong, that much she knew... at least not kings with a good reputation. The visit of the Ravkans was a promise of prosperity, King Nikolai and his entourage were in Ketterdam to bargain a spice trade line with the Council of Tides, a way of linking Ravka, Kerch and Shu Han in a triple alliance.

But it's interesting to think that King Nikolai is smart enough to also bargain with the real monarch of Kerch: Kaz Brekker. Y/N had not yet been in Ketterdam years ago when the Fold was destroyed, when a certain Ravkan prince needed the help of a small gang of thieves. But she heard about all this from Jesper, the Dregs' sharpshooter and part of Kaz's small retinue: the Crows. She also heard about the former king of Ketterdam, Pekka Rollins, and how Kaz made him beg, how he took everything from Rollins: clubs, indentures, friends in politics. Everything.

Well, almost everything. Kaz Brekker remains a mystery.

Y/N met Kaz a few days after arriving in Ketterdam, when he walked into the teashop she tended to. He needed a new waitress for the Crow Club, a seemingly simple job if the additional skill of the position wasn't listening to the conversations of some customers. She accepted, and here she is three years later. And she's dangerously involved with Kaz.

It all started very simply, they barely realized that they were spending too much time together. Y/N in the lounge, taking care of drinks or delivering envelopes to Kaz's office, or sharing a quiet living room in the Slat after everyone went to sleep.

One thing led to another over the years. A whispered conversation after the two drank too much, a longing look exchanged as they left for their posts at the Crow Club, a sleepless night on the building's terrace. But the moment they really realized, admitted, actually, having feelings for each other was when they realized that they needed each other.

For Y/N, their relationship was experienced at two peaks: the calm and comfort of knowing that they both loved each other and the turbulence and insecurity when dealing with Kaz's traumas. Y/N saw the way Jesper and Wylan, Nina and Matthias' relationship bothered Kaz, he wanted to be able to offer Y/N the same level of intimacy.

And that's why they've fought countless times. Silent wars where Kaz reluctantly tried to break up and Y/N pretended not to hear her boyfriend's stupid arguments. When Kaz tried to get away from her in vain, because Y/N always found a way to bother his heart with smiles, jokes and words of affection.

Kaz knew Y/N was patient. She was the best in his world. But, he knew that he needed to become a better man for her. What kind of relationship is this where he couldn't touch her without almost throwing up, fainting?

Y/N realized, just like she notices all the little things that make Kaz human, that he was trying to be more physical. Sometimes he would touch her hand gently, his fingertips gliding across her palm as if she were made of the most fragile glass. Other times he sat next to her on the window sill, too close that she felt his heat. Or when he suddenly decided that they would share the room, the same bed.

That was a difficult moment: Kaz gradually tried to stay close to her, until finally he managed to rest his arm on her throughout the night. But, all of this was done when he was fully dressed. Long-sleeved shirt, thick pants.

The kisses? Impossible. These took longer to go from merely touching lips to touching tongues. Let alone get lost in the moment. A kiss from Y/N would leave Kaz feverish, on the precipice between fainting from anxiety or lust. Sometimes he didn't even know if his trembling hands were a good or bad thing.

But it's over. Kaz, when properly warned, could get carried away. Y/N and Kaz occasionally had make-out sessions, one that left them panting, sweaty and craving for more. Wishing they were like all the other normal people, the ones they heard sighing in the dark alleys when they came back late at night from some mission. Those who occasionally locked themselves in the Crow Club bathroom and came out with a flushed face.

Would today be anything different? Y/N wondered as she went up to her room. Earlier, when she was still in stock at the Crow Club, Kaz spent time with her keeping her company while she counted the products. Y/N could tell he was a little nervous, but she didn't pressure him into saying anything.

So, he finally said a curt "Meet me in the bedroom later" and left for the office before Y/N could ask anything. And here she was, walking into the room and finding the sight of a Kaz Brekker sitting by the window, his eyes vacant into the night.

"Hey, how are you? Where's everyone?" Y/N said, taking off her coat and placing it on the trunk at the foot of the bed. When she arrived at Slat she noticed that it was strangely empty, even for a festival the house always had one or two people in the common rooms.

"Out" muttered Kaz "I gave them the night off." Then he finally looked at Y/N and there was something strange, it was as if he had never seen her in his life, as if he didn't know how to approach her.

"Cool… But, what happened to you? Did you want to tell me something?" Y/N said, approaching him slowly. Kaz sighed and held out his arms, an invitation for her to touch him, to hug him.

Y/N smiled, a gesture mirrored by Kaz, before surrendering to her arms. She was a little shorter than him, barely reaching her shoulders, the perfect height to fit in. Kaz placed a small kiss above her ear, a kiss that ended up trailing to her temple, her cheek, her jaw, the corners of her lips.

And then the famine came. The desire for more, much more. Kaz kissed Y/N's lips, a warm touch. Her hands, which had been clasped behind Kaz's back, moved up to his arms.

And then Kaz's tongue touched Y/N's parted lips strongly, a request, a promise. His tongue was everywhere: first sliding tentatively across her lips, then massaging, then sucking. It was so much more than they'd tried before, Y/N thought, as he nibbled on her bottom lip, pulling her closer into his arms, squeezing as if to make sure she was real.

Y/N didn't need to think much, she didn't want to stop and ask Kaz if everything was okay because, a second later, she felt one of his hands on her ass, groping. They had too many clothes on. Kaz wore a dark, velvety green vest over a white shirt with long sleeves buttoned over the wrist. The pants were black and made of thick material, the ones he usually wears in the invention. Y/N was already wearing a long blouse, the pants she wore were masculine enough to not receive more than two glances from Crow Club customers. But now, she wished there weren't so many layers between them, that the cloths would disappear.

Y/N's hands came up to Kaz's face with a caress, she wanted more than anything to slide her fingers through his hair… so she did, and he allowed it. His kisses were making her dizzy, fervent.

"Kaz," she whispered as he occupied his lips with a new target, her neck. The hands on her ass tensing in search of more, more closeness. "Slow down, Kaz," she protested.

Kaz listened and then stopped, looked at her with dark eyes, his face flushed and his lips red… lips that Y/N would never get tired of kissing. "I want you" he said "I want you to kiss me until you're sick of it, I want everything… more"

Y/N's heart lost a beat and then pulsed quickly. That was the kind of thing he said in her delirium, when she dreamed and woke up wishing she could just embrace the man who slept next to her. What else could she do upon hearing this request? She kissed him like she had never kissed him before, her fingers threading through his hair, down his neck, to his face.

A sloppy kiss because they've never done it before. Hands roaming each other's bodies more than they dared before. Kaz was all hands. Tightly squeezing her ass or reaching up to her waist, pulling her closer.

Then, one of Kaz's hands went to Y/N's hair, deftly removing the ribbon that held the curls in a messy braid, while his other hand went down to her right thigh, lifting her leg slightly so that he could get closer... Saints, she wanted to be able to melt and merge with Kaz.

Y/N could barely breathe between the kisses, Kaz's lips were all she wanted, she wanted them all over her body, for him to mark her. Then he pulled her towards the bed, bumping into the table, tripping over the carpet and laughing a little at his clumsiness.

She sat on the bed and looked at Kaz, her face flushed and a slight smile on her face. The street light that entered the room bathed him in a warm, golden light, Kaz had never seemed more alive than at that moment. He was the most beautiful person Y/N had ever seen in her life. He looked so carefree as he rested one of his knees between Y/N's legs, his hand tenderly caressing her face and brushing away stray strands of hair from the front of her forehead.

"You're so beautiful", Kaz murmured, his lips resting a soft peck on the tip of Y/N's nose.

"I can say the same", said Y/N. Pulling him to the middle of the bed so he was on top of her. "There are so many beautiful things I can tell you now. But none of them compare to you, Kaz Rietveld."

She kissed his cheek, then his nose, his chin, his mouth. Her hand, the one that wasn't busy cupping Kaz's face, slid down his back, feeling the muscles beneath his clothes tense slightly, then, at the base of his spine, she pushed him slowly until their body was pressed together. Too many clothes, Y/N thought.

Kaz must have had the same thought, because he deftly slipped his fingers between the top buttons of Y/N's blouse. Beneath it there was nothing but skin flushed with desire.

Well, they've seen a bit of each other's nudity over the years they've shared a room, but it's never been this explicit. So raw. Kaz's eyes slid over Y/N's breasts, his fingers following his gaze to her nipples, touching tentatively, seeing how far they could both go. When her only response was a sigh of pleasure, Kaz opened the rest of her blouse and clumsily pulled the fabric from her body.

Mouths, hands, sighs, moans. Kaz offered and received caresses as he rested his mouth on Y/N's nipples, his warm tongue sliding, sucking and nibbling mercilessly. Y/N's hands didn't know where to hold on in the material world, they were in his hair, keeping him as close as possible, on his shoulders, on his arms, pulling him for more.

Kaz realized that his favorite sound was her moans. It was a sound that reverberated through his body like an overwhelming storm that made his heart palpitate heavily, that made his brain melt and that somehow, caused a pleasant pressure to rest in his groin.

Y/N was lost, she didn't know she was so sensitive there. Or maybe this is just Kaz's effect, his talent. When his mouth was on her nipples everything was perfect and horrible, she felt out of control, completely at Kaz's mercy.

When he stopped kissing her was the moment she hated him, but when he looked at her with a shy look on her face, Y/N loved him more than anything. What happened? Y/N wanted to ask, but there was no time, Kaz let out a low, guttural sound when he moved over Y/N, she felt, through all the layers of clothes that still separated them, Kaz's cock pressed against her.

A shiver ran up her spine. Y/N kissed him hard, tongue lashing over Kaz's lips, her nails scratching his arms, pulling him, feeling him. A wave of pleasure coursed through her body as her sensitive nipples came into contact with the raised embroidery of Kaz's vest. She opened her legs wider to accommodate him between her and Kaz's hand went to her ass, pulling her towards his crotch.

Suddenly, Y/N pushed Kaz away. Turning his body so she was on top, she then quickly took off her pants. She's sick of so many clothes.

Kaz was in awe, looking at her body as if it were some kind of miracle, as if some saint was descending from heaven with an offer too good to be true. Or like a demon, leading him to a path of no return. For the first time in his life he felt nothing bad happening, no repulsion, no aversion at the thought of touching someone. He just wanted more from her, wanted to take everything from her, touch her everywhere, but more than anything, he wanted her to touch him.

Their relationship was always smooth, they never talked about sex or about anything other than kisses, but they both wanted the same feeling of fulfillment that all other couples had. So, it was not without shyness that Kaz, completely vulnerable to Y/N, looked at her with pious eyes and pleaded.

"I... I want you to touch me," Kaz admits, while staring up at the ceiling, "There" cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment.

It was selfish of him to ask that. It was malicious, negligent, narcissistic, asking for pleasure when she was the one who should be adored. But Kaz was never much for bending, he was never pious.

Little did he know that it was what Y/N wanted most.

She smiled and kissed Kaz, her light fingers opening the buttons of his pants, slipping down to his cock. The feeling was very different from what she had imagined, Kaz was warm, soft, firm and… big. Very.

Kaz let out a strangled sound, his hands that rested on her waist fluttered slightly. "Everything is fine?" she asked, the movements of her hand stopped completely, but she didn't remove it.

"Yes," he sighed, closing his eyes in pleasure.

Y/N then moved her hand slightly up and down, gently squeezing the base, sliding the tip of her thumb over the tip of his dick. Feeling the cum spread in his hand. Kaz was discreet, he was trying not to get carried away, she realized, but she could hear the light moans that escaped his lips, she could tell that he was really enjoying it when he tensed his jaw, when he squeezed her ass.

Daring the limits, Y/N lowered Kaz's pants further, finally seeing him completely. It was definitely not what she had imagined. Kaz was very thick, the tip was a dark pink color that glistened with cum and had some prominent veins. She wondered what it would feel like in her mouth.

When Y/N gave Kaz a peck on the crotch, just above the pubic hair line, she looked at him as if asking if she could continue. His eyes were moist, as if it was a difficult task to contain all of his impulses.

“Please,” he begged, one hand caressing Y/N’s cheek. "Please don't stop" he moaned.

She then tried putting just the tip of his dick in her mouth, her tongue testing the taste of his cum, then, tentatively, she saw how much it all fit.

It wasn't much. She didn't have that much experience, she couldn't take his entire dick in her mouth without feeling like she might choke. So, she took turns sucking and licking, from the base to the tip, then, when she saw that he liked it, she held his balls and massaged them lightly. But she never stopped moving her hand in a tempting gesture.

Kaz was getting carried away. When he became very impatient with Y/n's slow movements he begged to be rough, when he felt her tongue passing over the tip, sucking, and looking at him, he let the moans, previously low, sound at ease. Damn anyone who listens.

Please, please, please, he said. Hip thrusting, his dick entering her mouth even more. Beg, Y/N wanted to say, beg for more and maybe I'll let you cum, fill my mouth with it, let you see how you ruin me.

So, when she felt his hip thrusts become more sloppy, when his moans were lost between his panting, Y/N sucked hard on Kaz's cock and felt, in the back of her throat, his cum pooling on her tongue, sliding down her chin.

When his orgasm ended, he was panting and feverish, his hair messy, beads of sweat sliding down his forehead, his cheeks pink. He was a beautiful sight. He was a beautiful mess.

As for Y/N, she was strangely shy under Kaz's longing gaze, feeling cum slide down her chin and drip onto her breasts. "Beautiful" Kaz said, standing up and placing a sloppy kiss on her lips, his tempting tongue lashing into her mouth, both of them tasting him.

"All mine", he whispered, as he pulled her to saddle him. Y/N felt his dick brush against her pussy. "And I want all of you. I want you to ruin me, ruin us."

#mmgwbrekker #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker smut #shadow and bone #kaz brekker imagine #kinktober #kaz brekker kinktober

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reve-writes · 1 year

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—anger; kaz brekker.

ʚ kaz brekker x reader | grishaverse | 0,8k words. ʚ based off of this request. | kaz gets angry and finds comfort with the reader. ʚ established relationship; kaz is ok with being touched by reader. ʚ a/n i am a sucker for kaz being whipped. like this man is 100% the biggest softie for his s/o. we all remember the line from the book where he wanted to bottle inej's laugh and get drunk on it every night. if you have more kaz/grishaverse reqs my asks are open!

Kaz likes to think that he has somewhat of a good grasp of his emotions. He puts on masks like turning the back of his hand. His favourite one, though, is the one he wears the most. Cool and polished, unfeeling. Stoicity that demands respect and fear—that instills intimidation.

It's not so easy to slip on that mask when his entire body practically hums with anger, his fingers twitch underneath the gloves. The desire to fucking hit something burning under the leather.

The reason is clear, being whispered in both fearful hushes and celebratory gasps: Pekka Rollins has been released from Hellgate.

Life has a way on turning a good thing into something bad. Kaz is used to it. He has come to expect it. Hell, he expects the Dregs to eventually fall apart. Expects the Crows to eventually leave him. Expects you to get fed up with him and pack your things.

He doesn't expect Pekka Rollins to be released—after all he's done to make sure the bastard ends up where he deserves to.

“Kaz—” An unfortunate Dregs member speaks, perhaps wanting to relay the message or simply making formalities.

Kaz spins around. The desire to swing his cane in a bone-breaking arc is there. He doesn't.

“Not one word.”

That's all he says. The air in the Crow Club turns suffocating—all tension and no reprieve. Everything is still being conducted as normal: barkeeps are serving drinks, gamblers are opening tables and customers are drinking and carolling. To those who know Kaz well enough, know his tells and his history with the leader of the Dime Lions, it feels like walking across a glass bridge. Every step is followed by the anticipation of falling through.

Jesper turns to look at Wylan, who glances at Nina and Matthias. The couple turns to Inej. The Wraith stares at you. Unspoken words are exchanged from across the room, over rowdy drunkards and laughing gamblers.

The door to Kaz's office on the second floor slams shut. A tremble goes through the frame. It gets lost quickly, swallowed by the hustle bustle of the Barrell, but you notice. Of course, you do.

You stare at the rest of your friends and find them looking back at you expectantly. Jesper tilts his head towards the stairs.

You sigh, putting up a hand towards them—your first two fingers are crossed over each other. Then, you're already on the steps, knocking at the door gently.

“Kaz?”

You hear a loud sigh.

“Can I come in?”

“You'll barge in anyway.”

You let out a soft chuckle and push the door open. He sits on his desk, one leg stretching out to balance his body while the other is bent. He shakes his knee idly. Both of his hands grab the edge of the desk that over hangs, fingers tapping periodically.

He spares you a glance under the brim of his hat and relaxes slightly. Your presence alone melts the tautness in his shoulders. It always does.

“Are you alright?”

“Never been better.” Sarcasm laces each word.

You sigh, approaching him. He doesn't flinch away when you step into his personal space—something that has taken years to work towards and you're grateful for the point you've reached together.

“It's inevitable, you know?”

Your words cut but they're nothing short of the truth. Someone as powerful as Pekka Rollins will eventually get out—it isn't a reach to conclude. Deep down, Kaz knows as well. He just likes to think that he finally is able to lock away that part of his past and throw away the key, but it always comes crawling back. Meaner than ever.

“I know, schatje,” he says, defeated.

You step closer and pull the hat off of his head. Your hand runs through his scalp to smooth out the flattened hair, combing through smooth, dark strands. He leans into the touch. One of his hands go to your arm and brings the inside of your wrist to his lips.

“Everyone was scared of you,” you tease, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips. He raises an eyebrow. You add, “Well, more than usual.”

He lets out a huff—the beginning of a chuckle. “As they should be.”

“You are not-so-scary right now.”

He buries his face in the crook of your neck. “Only for you.”

“Ever the charmer.”

His arms come to rest around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he lets you soothe the anger—calm the storm inside him.

“We'll get him again, Kaz,” you say, pulling away slightly to look at him. “Together, okay? We've done it once. What's a second time?”

He hums. “You're right.”

“I often am.”

“Well, except for that time—”

“Kaz!”

It seems that you've successfully staved him off of being consumed by his anger, once again.

[ ]

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #—ki writes 🍯

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rubysunnday · 1 year

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dive into the waves below

request: since ur requests are open, may i ask for some fluff kaz brekker crumbs? maybe just him and reader spending the night in his office together

summary: pekka rollins's reign is over and it's time for the new king to take his place (or kaz settles into his new office and his beaten face needs some tending to)

"Y/N."

Y/N jumped and spun around, hand instinctively going to her left hip where her dagger sat. She let out an exaggerated sigh of relief when she realised who it was and dropped her arm.

"Saints, Inej," Y/N swore, putting a hand on her chest, "do you mind?"

Inej's lips turned upwards into a small smile. "Sorry."

Y/N set the bolt of fabric she'd been admiring back down on the market stall and moved aside, giving Inej her whole attention. "How can I help, darling?"

"It's Kaz," Inej said quietly, stepping closer. To anyone passing by, they just looked like two girls having a gossip.

"What about him?" Y/N asked, keeping her head low, trying to avoid Inej's gaze.

Inej sighed. "Y/N, it's been three days -"

"Don't start with me, Inej," Y/N warned.

"He's been in his office the entire time -"

" - good for him -"

" - and his face looks absolutely horrific -"

" - helps added to his personna -"

" - and he's refusing to let anyone help him - "

Y/N glared at Inej and, to her credit, Inej fell quiet.

"I was three minutes late," Y/N said quietly, "and apparently I'm a liability."

"After the last few days, can you blame him for being worried?" Inej took Y/N's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Please, talk to him."

Y/N squeezed Inej's hand back and dropped her shoulders. "Fine."

It was early afternoon which meant the club was quiet and almost empty. Y/N pushed the door shut behind her, a dead leaf that had blown in crunched under her feet.

Nina was sat at a table, alone, a large mug of something in front of her. She was resting her forehead in her hand and looked half asleep.

"Stop staring."

Y/N smiled to herself. She turned and approached Nina, perching herself on the edge of the table. "What's wrong with you?" She asked, picking up the mug and sniffing it.

"I drank the barkeep under the table," Nina replied, flapping a hand at Y/N as she sipped her drink. "Get your own."

Y/N grimaced and handed it back. "That is awful - what is that?"

Nina shrugged. "Don't know." She paused and lifted her head up just enough to stare at Y/N. "He's in his office. Your heart is beating slightly too fast and -"

"Yeah, alright, thank you," Y/N said, sliding off the table.

Nina's laugh followed her as she stepped up onto the walkway where the bar was set and as she ducked through the archway and to the stairwell. His room was at the very top of the building which meant three flights of stairs.

Y/N hated stairs.

As she stepped onto the third floor landing, she carefully avoided the creaky floorboard Kaz had purposefully not fixed and dodged the chest of drawers that stuck out just a fraction too far - far enough for people to bump into and make noise.

Kaz's office door was slightly ajar. Y/N could hear the sound of his pen scratching against parchment, the occasional sharp inhale followed by a creak of his chair.

She gently pushed the door open - the hinges silent. Kaz clearly hadn't heard her come up the stairs and, surprisngly, had no idea she was standing behind him.

The temptation to withdraw her dagger, sneak up behind him and press it against his throat almost won. Instead, Y/N walked in further and announced her arrival by sitting down on the edge of Kaz's unmade bed - a sign that he'd just woken up.

"Inej sent you?"

He phrased it as a question but Y/N knew it was implied as a statement.

She sat back on his bed, leaning against the wall. "Cornered me in the market."

Kaz nodded his head once. He hadn't looked up once, but his hand had slowly stopped writting.

"Nina drank the barkeep under the table last night," Y/N said, trying to fill the silence. "She's nursing her hangover downstairs."

"Wylan took Jesper for stroopwafel's to cure his hangover," Kaz replied, twisting away and shuffling through a stack of paper.

Y/N was a bit surprised. After all of her worry, here she was, talking normally with Kaz. There was no talk of tactics or revenge or heists. Just gossip and general life.

It was so incredibly dull.

Kaz didn't move back, intently focusing on his ledger. Y/N hadn't seen his face since shortly after the showdown with Pekka and it slowly dawned on her that Kaz was trying to not show her.

Y/N shifted on his bed, the wooden slats groaning under her weight. She pulled a cushion onto her lap and cuddled it to her chest, toying with a loose thread.

She was content to play the long game with Kaz.

Kaz's chair creaked as he turned even further away. He opened a draw in his desk and bent down - his sharp inhale the only sign that he was hurting.

Five minutes passed and, still, Y/N waited. Suddenly, each and every tear in the wallpaper was very interesting to look at.

Kaz's pen rolled off the side edge desk and onto the floor, disappearing under the bed. Kaz swore to himself and pushed his chair out, wincing as he tried to stand up.

"I can get it myself," Kaz snapped as Y/N moved on the bed.

Y/N stilled, hands behind her back as she pushed the cushion behind her. "I wasn't getting up," she said.

There was a hint of surprise for a second before Kaz put his walls back up. He stood up from his chair, leaning heavily on his desk with one hand, the other hanging by his side.

Kaz took a step forward and then another. He got to the edge of the bed and in one swift movement, crouched down.

Y/N could see the exact moment he realised he wouldn't be able to get back up. He had no cane and both the bed and the desk were too far away to make a useful leaning post. Kaz closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, clear contemplating his options over his pain.

"Kaz," Y/N said softly, "you're injured. You need to be checked out."

"I'm fine," Kaz grunted, scrabbling the pen towards him with his gloved fingers.

"I know you are," Y/N replied. She uncrossed her legs and sat on the edge of the bed. "But there is no shame in asking for help. Not from me."

Kaz stood up.

Then sat down on the bed, next to Y/N.

Y/N moved herself further away, knowing that he hadn't sat there by choice. Kaz's hands were shaking and his breathin was uneven. And his face, saints, his face was the worst of all.

Y/N hid her reaction as Kaz turned to face her. One eye was all but swollen shut, he had a bruise splashed across his cheek and both his top lip and his bottom lip had been split.

"You don't seem surprised," Kaz said.

"Pekka beat the shit out of you. " Y/N shrugged.

"Inej was more surprised than you are."

"Oh, I'm surprised, Kaz," Y/N replied. "I'm just hiding it well." She paused. "Just because I was three minutes late, doesn't mean I didn't hear what was going on."

She'd been stuck outside in the chaos of the fake firepox plague whilst Kaz had been beaten up. But through the screams and crying, she'd heard it. She'd heard each kick against his flesh - each groan of pain.

Kaz was silent for a moment. He slowly lifted his head up, looking at her through one eye.

"You didn't want to clean the blood off?" Y/N asked, her voice quiet.

"Didn't have the energy."

Without jostling Kaz too much, Y/N climbed off the bed. She walked over to the sink that jutted out from the opposite wall and grabbed a shaving bowl, filling it up with warm water. Then, she grabbed a cloth from the pile beside the sink, dipping it into the water and wringing it out as she walked back to Kaz.

She sank to her knees in front of him, her skirt covering the tips of his shoes.

"Do you want me to do it?" She asked, folding the damp cloth into a square. "Or you do it?"

"I don't want to look at myself in the mirror today," Kaz drawled. "I look a bit of a mess."

"Ha ha, you're hilarious," Y/N muttered. She looked up at him and inhaled deeply. "Can I touch your face?"

Kaz nodded. Y/N sat up on her knees and took his chin in her left hand. Holding the cloth in her right hand, she gently began to scrape off the dried flakes of blood, carefully skimming over the cut lip and open wounds.

"He'll be in Hellgate by now," Kaz said, his words muffled slightly as he tried not to move his lips. "Rotting away."

"Was it worth it?" Y/N asked, rinsing the blood out the cloth.

Kaz looked down at her, his eyes following her face as she sat back up and took his face in her hands again. "Was what worth it?"

"The beating. The pain... knowing that what you did has caused a shift in the hierarchy of Ketterdam," Y/N replied.

"He killed my brother," Kaz said, his voice dipping slightly. "It was worth everything."

Y/N's little finger brushed against his lip as she wiped the blood from under his nose. Kaz flinched a little and she stopped, waiting for him to recover.

"He tore my life apart," Kaz said, nodding once to let her resume. "And he doesn't even remember his name."

"It was Jordie, right?" Y/N asked, dipping the cloth into the water again.

Kaz squeezed his eyes shut as the water dripped off the cloth and into the bowl, the sound sending him back through time until he was on the barge again. A small boy lying on top of a pile of dead, decomposing bodies that no one cared about.

"Kaz."

He flinched and opened his eyes abrutply. Y/N was staring at him, filling his vision. Yet, she wasn't too close. He looked into her eyes, using the movement as they scanned her face to ground him.

"You good?" Y/N asked, her hand resting on her knee for a moment before she remembered and removed it.

Kaz nodded, swallowing against the bile in his throat. "Fine."

Y/N sat back down, kneeling once more. "How are your ribs?"

"I did them the other day."

"You and I both know it isn't possible to do it properly on yourself," Y/N scolded.

Kaz rolled his eyes. "Fine."

"Is that your word of the day?" Y/N asked, moving the bowl back a bit as Kaz sat forward.

"It is when you're around, flapping all over me."

"I like to think I've been rather calm about this," Y/N retorted. "No flapping here."

Kaz raised his eyebrows but Y/N was blissfully unaware. He knew that taking his shirt off would hurt - it had hurt putting it on. Yet, he was determined to do it. If only to give Y/N ease of mind. He felt a small sense of accomplishment as he pulled his arms from his waistcoat without too much pain.

The shirt was the problem.

He knew that, if he asked, Y/N would help in a heartbeat. But he couldn't face it.

"It doesn't have to come off," Y/N said softly. "You can just hold it up."

Kaz nodded. "Fine."

"There's that word again," Y/N muttered. "Fine. Everybody's fine."

Kaz huffed but he was trying not to smile. He grabbed the edge of his shirt and raised it up over his ribs, wincing slightly as the movement jarred them. The cold air dancing on his skin kept turning to water lapping at his feet. For a moment, he was swimming to shore, Jordie bobbing along in front of him.

Then Y/N's hands brushed along his ribs, undoing his poorly tied not. They were cold but they had the warmth of life about them. Kaz tried not to flinch as they came back, holding the bandage to his side.

"Take that," Y/N said, pushing the roll of cloth into his left hand.

Kaz held it and then passed it to Y/N's outstretched hand, his gloved fingers brushing hers. Y/N pulled the bandage tightly around his side, gently tugging on the edges to make sure it wasn't suffocating him. Each finger brush, each nail glide, reminded Kaz that he wasn't on the barge anymore. Because nothing on that barge had moved like Y/N was. Nothing had been this warm and gentle.

Her shirt brushed against his bare chest and he could smell her perfume as she leant in, tucking the knot of the bandage inside. Y/N sat back and then stood up, taking the bowl of water with her to the sink.

"Thank you," Kaz said hoarsely as he put his shirt back on.

"It's fine," Y/N replied, washing her hands under the tap. "I'm sure Nina can always -"

"You did more than enough," he said, cutting her off.

They looked at one another for a moment. Something had shifted between them - a new found respect, maybe. Or maybe just understanding.

"Ahem."

Y/N jumped, head turning sharply to the door. "Nina, saints, woman."

Nina beamed at her, taking an exaggerate step through the door. "I could hear you two from downstairs - both your hearts pounding away."

Kaz rolled his eyes as he stood up. "Nina, shut up," he warned.

"Yeah, Nina, shut up," Y/N muttered, glaring at the woman. Kaz cleared his throat and held out a folded and sealed piece of paper. "What's this?" She asked, taking it from his outstretched hand.

"Message I need delivering to fifth harbour," Kaz replied. "Looking for a man named Gibson."

Y/N stared at the parchment and then back at Kaz. Who had turned away and was looking down at his books.

Just like that, normality had resumed.

"Take Nina with you," Kaz added, flipping through the pages. "She needs something to do that isn't annoying me."

"You love me, waffles."

Kaz ignored her. Y/N huffed quietly but turned around, snatched Nina's wrist with her hand and dragged her out the office, closing the door behind her.

"You know your heartbeat speeds up whenever you're near him."

"What?"

Nina looked at her, head tilted slightly. "Your heart. It changes whenever he's near."

"Alright, shut up," Y/N said, slapping the parchment into Nina's chest. "Come on.

Nina looked up from the parchment. "Are we not going to talk about what happened in there?" She asked, desperately trailing after Y/N.

"Nope."

"But, Y/N, your heart was going incredibly fast. I thought you might pass out!"

"Ahuh, of course, Nina, that's totally why you interrupted."

"I can't help it, I'm nosy by nature."

"You're annoying by nature, actually."

taglist: @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #fic #fanfic #six of crows fic #shadow and bone fic

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jccatstudios · 3 months

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dude i love the way u draw jesper so much??? like it just fits him so perfectly?? something about the hair and face shape he just like looks so alive

Thank you! Jesper's one of those characters that I love more and more every time I draw him. Same with Matthias whenever I have the chance to doodle. Unlike Kaz and Inej, whose expressions I already amp up a bit more than canon, Jes lets me do some bold expression work like the comics I'm inspired by. Thought I'd take this opportunity to share some design notes.

Hair and freckles - Both a callback to Jordie. Jesper and Jordie don't have the same hair texture, but as you'll see on the next set of pages (working on them finally!), they have the same hair part, which is opposite to Kaz's. I love a good moles and freckles character design dynamic.

Earrings - Little Kaelish worldbuilding thing. If I ever get to drawing Colm and Pekka Rollins, they'll have earrings too. Simple small gold hoops or studs.

Vest - I like adding dark side paneling to all his vests. Jesper's described as tall and skinny, and that panel alters his silhouette to accentuate that. I also don't add a lapel to his vests like I do with Kaz's, and that's just to make him look more like a cowboy.

Revolvers - I've got to solidify the designs for his guns at some point. All I got so far is that they're pearl and gold with jurda blossom filigree.

Boots - Cowboy boots with a heel! Regular dress shoes seemed more like university Jesper than Barrel Jesper. I already draw Kaz shorter than his canon height, but the heels also add to that difference.

#asks #soc comic adaptation #jesper fahey #six of crows

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legends-of-apex · 1 year

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It’s Done | Kaz Brekker x f!Reader

Rating: 18+ for smut

Word count: 2,3k

Summary: Spoilers for Shadow and Bone season 2! After winning back the Crow Club and Inej’s freedom from Pekka Rollins, Kaz returns home to you bloodied, beaten but with desire burning through his veins. You offer him an outlet for that. This is show!Kaz so he is very much an adult!!

Tags: Smut, rough sex, Kaz’s trauma, p in v sex, injury/violence/blood mention, Kaz is okay with p in v sex but is still touch-averse, established relationship, clothed sex, bathroom sex, dirty talk, praise, aftercare, he calls the reader “good girl” and “darling”, AFAB reader, slightly ooc Kaz as I haven’t written him before

When Kaz Brekker strode through the door with blood and a look of utter delirium on his face, worry flooded your veins. His eyes of endless oceans were wild, pupils blown and his chest heaved. His hair hung loose in front of his eyes, swinging with each hurried step in your direction.

With each tap of his cane against the floorboards, the coil of worry in your stomach began to fade only to be replaced by something much more dangerous.

“I need you," he uttered, barely above a strained whisper.

“So have me.”

You wanted him. How couldn't you when he looked at you like that? Like he was a man on fire and you alone held the water that could quench the flame.

“Would you really let me have you like this?” He asked, stepping close enough that his outbreath rustled your hair. “With another man’s blood on my face… half-mad with spite?”

“Yes,” you breathed. “Yes, please.”

Oh, how generous a lover you were. Whatever did Kaz Brekker in all his crooked life do to deserve you?

Usually Kaz would at the very least take the time to enjoy the warm weight of your chest in his gloved hands or whisper delicately in your ear until you were squirming for him, untouched. But tonight, all he needed was relief from the adrenaline coursing through his hurried veins. The adrenaline ran so high that the cold waters barely even threatened to rise at his close proximity to you. His palms didn’t sweat.

The fire of want consumed him. He needed you here and he needed you now.

“You’re sure you want this?” He asked, quietly. “I'm afraid I can’t have you gently tonight.”

“I don’t want you gently.”

He studied your face for any hesitation, any discomfort yet he found none. Even in his bloodied, frazzled state you gazed up at him with want in your eyes. Kaz felt like his skin was on fire.

With hurried hands he simply pressed you against the bathroom sink, knocked your legs wide open with the end of his cane and got to work.

Kaz hadn’t even bothered shedding his bloodied clothes. It was better that way, less risky for him. Only his jacket hung deftly on the hook at the door. A few folds of his shirt sleeves had his pale forearms glinting in the low light but his gloves stayed firmly in place. He’d come far but not far enough to have you without that barrier just yet.

He bunched your skirts together in his fist and peeled away your underwear. You gasped when he tore the lace at the hip and tossed them to lay in a heap on the bathroom floor. There was no time for neatness. He was the one who bought them for you in the first place and he would be happy to replace the pair.

“Saints, look at you.”

Were he a better man, he’d hoist you up on the sink so he could kiss you and dote on you as you deserved. Were he a better man he’d know he wasn’t good enough to be here with you at all. But in the end good men die just the same as bad ones. And you didn’t want a good man. You wanted him.

He tucked his face into your neck, feeling your pulse with his lips. You’re skin is warm and soft and inviting. Blood rushed through your veins beneath your skin. Your hair so soft and skin so smooth reminded him that you’re alive, you’re here and you want him to have you. He used your drumming pulse as an anchor.

With one bruising kiss of thanks to your cheek, Kaz sank into you.

His ribs ached and creaked with each thrust. His temple stung, ears still ringing. Pekka Rollins had definitely broken something when he kicked him as hard as the man could muster but Kaz couldn't find it in him to care. His knee ached too. A sharp pain shot through it when he tried putting even a sliver of weight on it. So he grasped at the sink’s smooth edge to keep himself steady and his pace thorough. Your sweet sighs made it all worth it. He could rest his body once the good work was done.

"My name. Say it,” he gritted out.

“Kaz!”

He grinned, flashing a sliver of teeth. All he needed right now was this.

The bone-white sink kept you upright for the most part, your hands gripping desperately at its sides as Kaz shook your very soul to its core. He’d started off with calculated, deliberate thrusts before the need took over.

Saints, that man knew how to fuck hard when he wanted to.

They say that Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason but he certainly did to fuck you like this. He was usually so gentle. If it wasn’t for your encouragement he might have been able to show restraint. But your cries for more made him want to give you just that. He’d have put his beating heart in the palm of your hand if you asked. He would rip the stars from the sky and scatter them at your feet if only to see your eyes brighten for him.

“Please!”

The sound was the sweetest nectar, a balm to all his ills. Your voice warmed the very caverns of his cold and bitter bones. But more than that, it grounded him. The sound kept the waters at bay and he savoured it.

“More, Kaz. Please.”

His gloved hand gripped your chin, guiding you to look at him in the mirror. In the low light he looked almost demonic. His face bathed in the warm tones from candlelight that cast deep cut shadows bordering every ridge. His hair, once so precisely slicked back, hung loose and swung against his forehead with each plunge of his hips. Fresh blood had even begun to trickle from the gash above his eye. Kaz's molten gaze had your knees threatening to buckle from intensity. The jet black of his pupils all but eclipsed the startling blue.

That man in the mirror? That was Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands and whatever other name people whispered as he walked by with blood coating the end of his cane. Here he was brimming with adrenaline, dishevelled and so deliciously unhinged and you loved every inch of him.

Whatever mask of civility he wore on the day to day was torn to shreds sometime in between being kicked in the stomach by Pekka Rollins and having finally had the man on his knees. The sometimes gentle, maybe even soft man Kaz could be with you may as well have sunk to the bottom of Reaper’s Barge for all his presence was felt right now. He was death himself come to steal you away and you went with him merrily.

“Please, Kaz!” You cried out, shaking him from his thoughts.

"Tell me just what it is that you’re asking for so politely?" He murmured with his voice so smooth.

"More! Please, I want to come!"

"Is that so?" He asked, grinning again. "Very good. Keep your eyes on me."

You did just that. Watching in the mirror as he took his hand from your chin and flexed it once before bringing it down to the soft flesh of your thigh. This was the tricky part. Being inside you was as easy as breathing; Your warm honeyed walls welcomed him home each time. Even with gloved hands, it was touching the rest of you that caused the waters to rise, inch by freezing inch.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.” Your voice pulled him out of the harbour again.

“No, I want to.” He replied, but you saw the clench of his jaw in the mirror. “So long as you’ll have me.”

You really didn’t mind touching yourself but Kaz was determined. He wanted to bring you all the pleasure you deserved. Even if it risked the waters trying to drown him, he needed this.

You nodded your consent and he started off slow with little squeezes as he made his way up your thigh. His hips slowed to a grind now as he touched you. When the waters began to rise, Kaz let his lips find your pulse point again and buried his face in your neck. Your words of encouragement helped greatly but it was the soft thump of your heartbeat that sent the waves lulling down to his feet.

“Each day, each night, I yearn to have you like this.” He uttered, close enough that you could feel his breath kiss your ear. "More than you could possibly imagine."

"Even when I dream I can’t escape you," he added.

Heat bloomed in you the closer he got to where you needed him. Your body began to shake when two leather-clad fingers parted your folds and dove right for your clit. You'd never realised his gloves had the most delicious texture. You couldn't help the moan of his name that escaped you at the feeling. Not only did it feel good, you were so endlessly proud of him. Kaz revelled in it. Your body's reaction sent any anxiety he had flying out the window as he focused on bringing you pleasure.

He had to plant one hand firmly on the mirror so he had enough leverage to fuck you properly again. The mirror squeaked as his hand slid down it just an inch or two. When you gasped he smirked like the devil and only went harder, his hair threatening to cover his eyes.

"Tell me how it feels." He ordered.

"So good!" You whined, "It feels so fucking good."

There was something almost sacred about this: Him buried deep inside you, his hand on your pussy and your pulse on his lips. He'd never felt so rich in his life and yet he still wanted more.

“Come,” he gritted out. "Be a good girl and come for me. That’s it. That’s it, darling."

With a shiver, you did just that. Your thighs shook like you were freezing. When you clenched around him he failed to suppress a groan and it was beautiful; The crack in his concrete composure akin to watching an angel fall.

Soon Kaz was pulling out and resting the full weight of his body on the mirror for support. His arms caged you between him and the sink as you stood there breathing heavily together.

Saints, he needed that.

"Thank you." Kaz breathed, taking in the sight of you in the reflection.

Kaz tucked himself back into his dress trousers and took a step towards the bath. The bath was made of smooth, rich copper and aside from the stolen DeKappel painting hanging on his office wall, it was the most expensive thing Kaz now owned. Once the bath was filled, he extended a hand towards you and you took it after shedding your dress, letting him help you take a shaky step into the warm water.

He watched you settle down into the water, steam already leaving droplets on your skin. The sigh of contentment that passed your lips made him envious. Not of you but of the water. He wished he could give you as much comfort and relief. As much as he would love to get in there with you, to let you lay back against his chest as the water relaxed you; He couldn't and he likely never would. The harbour would come flooding back to him more quickly than he could ever hope to handle.

So instead he lowered himself to the ground with a wince and sat with his cane across his lap, legs outstretched on the cool bathroom floor. His knee would hate him for it but he couldn’t bear to be away from you right now.

He watched you trail your finger over the water's surface, seemingly lost in thought until your eyes landed on him. The water sloshed against the tub's curved edges as you moved towards the side.

"Can I borrow your gloves for a moment, please?" You asked softly, as if not to startle him.

His eyes met yours and he found nothing but softness in them. You just wanted to help and he trusted you with his life. So he tugged them off, one slender finger at a time, and handed them to you once you dried your hands on a towel. Kaz felt bare without his gloves, exposed and so very vulnerable. Yet he was mesmerised watching your delicate hands disappear into the black leather.

With a cotton pad folded over your gloved fingers, you leaned over the bathtub’s edge to dab at the blood on his brow, then his lower lip. Kaz was sure he must’ve smeared some crusted blood on your neck when he sought solace with your heartbeat. But you didn’t seem to care.

Once he had his gloves back on, you placed a kiss to his knuckles. Those hands that had done so many bad and crooked things? They didn’t deserve such a kiss but he hadn’t the heart to deny you right now, not when you looked at him like he held the sun in his hands. And if you wanted it, he’d do his damndest to steal it for you.

You settled back into the water, enjoying the steam. The water relaxed your muscles, washed away the sweat and grime of the Barrell.

“So it’s done, then?” You asked about Pekka Rollins.

“Yes.” He replied, eyes unfocused. “It’s done.”

Kaz rested his head against the wall and dragged a hand back through his stubborn hair in an attempt to smooth it out of his face. He let a rare sense of peace wash over him. There was always so much pain in his world, in his life. But not in that room right now. Not with you.

Tagging: no one as this is my first time writing Kaz! Please feel free to drop me an ask, message or comment if you’d like to be tagged in future Kaz fics tho :)

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #not sfw #shadow and bone #my fic #six of crows #grishaverse #mine #k.exe #he really had me barking in that scene with Pekka okay

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lookwhatyoumademedohaha · 1 year

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The One Where Kaz Brekker Considers His Life Choices

Summary: Kaz Brekker is a deadly Barrel Boss who has the most dangerous task at hand... To deal with the chaotic shenanigans that you pull with the Crows.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Reader, Six of Crows X Platonic! Reader.

Warnings: Lots of humour, fluff, chaotic energy of our Crows.

A/N: So I'm down with a terrible cold and fever and in my delirium, I came up with this story inspired by John Oliver and B99. I hope you like it. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Happy reading!

"Dammit." muttered Kaz under his breath as he searched for your face through the Crow Club because he was a hundred percent certain that you were responsible for his present headache as he controlled himself "No, I love Y/N, she's my friend, she's my friend who is good at her job..."

Kaz was fairly certain he looked like a lunatic but finally he spotted you at the Crows private table laughing with your friends.

He marched up to you with his stony expression as he overheard Jesper announcing his plans "I think I might customize my revolvers."

Wylan immediately interjected "What? How are you going to do that?"

"I was thinking really bright colours like purple,pink and orange to match my outfits and maybe engrave my name." said Jesper thoughtfully while all of them rolled their eyes and laughed "I mean, it's going to be so much fun!"

"Oh yes! So fun! Absolutely fun!" you mocked Jesper in a high pitched tone as you smirked at him "Or when you commit murderer, a grave oversight on your part. Good news Chief, we found Fahey's revolvers at the murder scene."

Jesper stuck out his tongue at you childishly while you replied sarcastically "We do not know what motivated him to go on a killing spree but he had a lot of fun with it."

Kaz stood behind you "Y/L/N"

"Ah Kaz, you're looking very happy today." said Nina brightly as she greeted him infuriatingly "Let us guess what happened based on your facial expression. You got offered a job with a lot of Kruge and high stakes?"

Inej joined in the fun "Pekka Rollins finally died?"

Maththias' smirked "He found a life of charity and prayer."

Everyone nodded in agreement and Wylan grinned "He's about to reveal that he's actually Nikolai Lantsov!"

"Saints! Wylan, he's about to reveal that he's secretly married to me and has secretly raised my baby!" cried Jesper dramatically as Kaz thought of resignation from this life.

"All of these options is probable. But I know the Captain. He's having a meltdown." you announced dramatically exasperating Kaz who hadn't got one word in since this conversation started.

Matthias looked at you pointedly and then at Kaz "What are you talking about? The demjin looks the same as he always does."

"To you perhaps. But I have mastered the art of reading his emotions. His lips are tightly sealed, he's gripping onto his cane as if he's trying to control himself and he's blinking at his three second intervals as opposed to his nine." you observed Kaz closely with a knowing smile surprising Kaz who was tongue tied and speechless that you could easily read him "Therefore, he's having a meltdown!"

Wylan intervened as he shook his head at you fondly "That seems excessive."

You grinned "No, I'm impressive."

Nina knew that you were telling the truth based on Kaz' heartbeat she heard as she queried sweetly "So Waffles, is everything okay?"

Kaz glared at Nina and then at you "No. I'm having a meltdown."

Wylan and Matthias gasped at you as if you were a Saint "Wow."

Kaz decided to speak before anyone could interfere "Who the hell is responsible for the mess?"

"You have to be more specific about which mess given out daily life experience." retorted Nina sassily.

Kaz eyebrows furrowed deeply "Alright. The slogan outside the Crow Club and the Slat? Who did it?"

There was silence as everyone pointed toward you who looked unremorseful as you smirked at Kaz who was fuming in rage as he turned his dangerous gaze upon you "As I suspected. Now you better have a goddamn good reason as to why you would do such a silly, stupid, idiotic act?"

You looked completely calm for a person who was about to feel Kaz Brekker's wrath "Clear communication and marketing to our customers."

Kaz couldn't quite comprehend what you said as he stuttered "Excuse me?"

"Well Kaz, to tell you the truth, people in Ketterdam weren't really clear on where we were coming from... you know our main objective as to why we steal,maim and kill so much." you explained nonchalantly and calmly that made Kaz feel as if he was the idiot in this conversation. "So we put up a slogan to educate everyone in Ketterdam, our objective in pursuing destruction and crime."

"It's rather a genius slogan, Y/N." praised Inej with a kind smile "The ones we came up with were sloppy and funny but Y/N understood the assignment."

Kaz realized that you had come up with the goddamn slogan yourself as he literally let out all his exasperation out "Yes but did the slogan of the Dregs have to be BECAUSE DEATH IS THE UNDENIABLE FUEL OF LIFE!'"

"I think it's very classy, professional and straightforward conveying the necessary message." commented Matthias with honest admiration for your work and grinned at how red the demjin was "People won't like it but at least they'll understand and respect where you come from."

All of them exchanged mischievous glances as they saw Kaz close to spontaneously combusting and had to hand it to you. This was the best prank they played on Kaz and honestly at this point, you should be appointed as the Prank master General of the Dregs.

"I can't believe you would do something so stupid!" burst out Kaz in despair and anger.

You remained completely unfazed while Nina, Matthias, Wylan, Jesper and Inej snickered in unison "Can't you?"

"Shut it! I know you lot encouraged her to do this." snapped Kaz in frustration as he pointed at the rest of his friends who grinned

Kaz looked at you once again as he took a deep breath "And why did you place this slogan in bright and glittering colours as bright as Jesper's irritating fashion sense?"

"Because people are more attracted to bright colours and like glitter. Like if I saw that message in black, I'd be afraid but since it's in pretty bold sparkling colours, everyone kind of digs it." you said smartly while the rest of the Crowd clapped proudly for you "They are not like afraid. They are more like... Oh my god Kaz Brekker is about to murder me. Go right ahead Kazzle Dazzle, just whack me -"

"Alright thank you, that's enough." interrupted Kaz hastily and briskly because he did not want to hear the end of the sentence.

Amidst the Crows loud laughter, Jesper hooted "They're like... I'd die for Kaz Brekker and honestly he'll let me. Brutal!"

"The way I consider murder illegal but if Kaz Brekker is doing it, make me the victim." replied Wylan with a teasing smirk.

"CHOKE ME TO DEATH DADDY BREKKER, HALLELUJAH!" you yelled loudly as you raised your glass while Kaz was completely red in the face, embarrassed by his friends drunk shenanigans and chaotic energies.

"Daddy... It's a kink isn't it? It's like a paternal thing?" explained Nina with a wink to Maththias' who had inquired about it.

"Alright Freud." retorted Kaz rolling his eyes at Nina who laughed as he hoped to shut down this conversation quickly "I don't understand why you chose that particular slogan. It sounds like an excerpt from a letter of a serial killer!"

You looked at Kaz with a deadpanned expression "How many killings does it take for a person to be a serial killer?"

Kaz was slightly taken aback but answered nevertheless "Er... Five?"

"Great. We're all serial killers." sighed Jesper dramatically as he looked pointedly at Kaz who obviously had the highest body count.

"Not me." stated Wylan with an innocent smile.

"Bitch please!" chorused everyone together in disbelief as they glared at Wylan who was hiding a grin and you added "You have the second highest body count and you're relatively new."

Jesper grinned as he placed a kiss on Wylan "Well that's my man! He's spectacular at everything he does!"

Kaz gave up. There was no point talking to you.

"Fine. Those slogans are to be taken down tonight -" began Kaz when Rotty came toward them

"Sorry to interrupt boss but there are more than eighteen people and some other gang members queued outside waiting to be initiated as part of the Dregs."

You smirked into your drink as you heard Kaz retort "What is the meaning of this?"

"Uh... The new slogan is real popular boss. People want to be part of the Dregs because we showed them out vision and they like it." said Rotty vibrating in excitement "Also, the customers are pouring in more boss! I think it's the glitter they like -"

"Thank you Rotty. I'll attend to it. Dismissed." said Kaz as he felt your infuriating and insufferable smirk burn a hole through his skull.

"Oh Captain... I believe it's time to say those very special words." you crooned sweetly as you watched Kaz' lips twitch once.

"Y/L/N... you're a genius." stated Kaz in a deadpanned expression and watched in amusement as you nearly choked on your drink while the rest of the Crows were checking their drinks for toxin trips.

You squealed in delight "OH MY GOD! YOU ACTUALLY SAID IT! IT'S REAL!"

"I heard you practicing it to yourself in your room last night." said Kaz calmly and deadpanned as he smirked at how your enthusiasm slightly faded but you were still grinning.

You nodded "That makes more sense. So are you like now going to give me a raise, or a -"

"You're an idiot, Y/N." said Kaz with a subtle exasperated and amused smile and walked away.

"THANK YOU? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY THANK YOU CROWFATHER!" you yelled out loud in exasperation and amusement as everyone laughed.

Inej smiled "Honestly, I didn't expect the prank to turn into something profitable."

Jesper frowned slightly "Yeah it kind ruins it all, doesn't it?"

"Never fear my friends. Kaz is a prankster's delight." you replied with a delightful smile, mischief glinting in your eyes.

Before anyone could ask what you meant, Kaz Brekker's mad voice rumbled across the Crow Club "Y/N Y/L/N! WHAT ARE ALL THESE CONGRATULATORY LETTERS I'VE RECEIVED FROM DIGNITARIES ALL OVER THE WORLD ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM TO BE MARRIED TO THAT STRUTTING PEACOCK ZOYA NAZALENZKY AT THE CHURCH OF BARTER IN KETTERDAM IN TWO DAYS?"

"What?" exclaimed Jesper in amazement

Nina, Wylan, Inej and you exchanged amused stares "Who's going to tell him Zoya is in on this and is actually coming here tonight?"

"You know what, never change, Y/N." said Matthias looking at you affectionately and then looked alarmed because he saw the demjin marching toward you "But you better run or you'll be in trouble with the demjin!"

"Trouble?" you laughed as you winked at your friends "You're only in trouble if you are caught!"

Kaz caught you before you could flee "Gotcha!"

"I'm in trouble." you mumbled and then grinned widely at Kaz Brekker who looked like a bull who had just been kicked as you bit him making him let go of you and you took off running "Congratulations on your nuptials, Captain! You're going to be a lovely bride!"

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shaykappa · 2 years

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Favourite/Funniest Lines From Six of Crows

"I am a businessman," he 'd told her. "No more, no less." "You are a thief, Kaz." "Isn't that what I just said?"

"I like it when men beg, but this isn't the time."

"Go tell your general to keep the Black Tips out of Fifth Harbor and that we expect him to make amends for the shipment of jurda we lost, plus five percent for drawing steel on neutral ground and five percent more for being such a spectacular bunch of asses."

"Oh, it's worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don't get paid."

"Really, Jesper? If I want to watch men dig holes to fall into, I 'll find myself a cemetery."

"Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

"I had a question. About your mother and whether the rumors are true."

"I won't trust you to tie my shoes without stealing the laces, Kaz."

"You wouldn't know a good time if it sidled up to you and stuck a lollipop in your mouth."

"Also the proper way to fold a napkin and dance a minute. Oh and you can play the flute. Marketable skills, merchling. Marketed skills." "No one dances the minuet anymore."

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" "Gun to the back?" "Poison in his cup?" "You are all horrible."

"Moose is probably your native tongue."

"I don't need a nursemaid." "More like a chaperone, but if you want him to wash your nappies and tuck you in at night that's your business."

"I am glad I am bleeding all over your shirt." "I'll put it in your tab."

"Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I 'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost." Brekker's lips quirked. "I 'll just hire Matthias's ghost to kick your ghost's ass." "My ghost won't associate with your ghost." Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

"I am going to pay someone to burn my kruge for me." "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what the big players do." "You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone to..."

"Wake up you miserable lump of muscle."

"It's not natural for women to fight." "It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet, there you stand."

"Just flip it open to the back." "So?" "Hold it up so we don't have to look at your ugly face."

"And I can tell you 've never given thought to your haircut."

"Nina is everything you say. It's too much." "Mmm, maybe you are just not enough."

"Well, we've managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We 're either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breath air."

"What is he doing?" "Performing an ancient Zemeni ritual." "Really?" "No."

"Saints" he said. "That bad?" "No, you just have really ugly feet."

"If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face."

"How do we cross? I don't see anything." "Because you are not worthy." "I am also not nearsighted. There's nothing there."

"Yes I know, then a tree tells you the secret handshake."

"If only you could to girls in equations." "Just girls?" "No, not just girls."

Djel says you're a fanatic, drunk on your own power. Come back next year.

They are in trouble. Or you were dead wrong about Matthias, and you are about to pay for all of those talking tree jokes.

"I. Should. Let. You. Die."

"Behave or Nina Zenik will get you?" "Well, I do like the sound of that."

"Son of a bitch." "What is it, boss?" Rollins held up his watch chain. A turnip was hanging from the fob where his diamond-studded timepiece should have been. "That little bastar-" Then a thought came to him. He reached for his wallet. It was gone. So was his tie pin, the Kaelish coin pendant he wore for luck and the gold buckles in his shoes. Rollins wondered if he should check the fillings in his teeth. "He picked your pocket?" No one got one over Pekka Rollins. No one dared. But Brekker had, and Rollins wondered if that was just the beginning.

#soc #six of crows #best lines #kaz brekker #kaz rietveld #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #wylan van eck #wylan van sunshine #wylan hendriks #matthias helvar #jesper x wylan #kaz x inej #nina x matthias

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 1 year

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Kaz and Wylan’s potential to become each other

Wow, you guys were a lot more excited about this than I was expecting! I made a post briefly mentioning this idea and it got way more attention that I was expecting, so as promised here is my explanation and I’ve tagged people who asked for it at the end :)

*WARNING: CONSTANT SPOILERS AHEAD*

Ok so the driving forcing of this comparison is rooted in the similarities of their characters and their backstories. Both of them lost a close family member, were abused by men with power over them, and experienced a form of ‘rebirth’ by nearly drowning in the Ketterdam canals. They also both experience disability; Kaz using a cane for a broken leg that didn’t heal correctly, and Wylan having severe dyslexia that prevented him from learning to read. A key difference that separates them, and arguably is a representation of the difference in the way their experiences have shaped their personalities as well, is that Kaz’s disability is a direct result of his chasing after vengeance, whereas Wylan’s disability was used as an excuse for his father to abuse him for what we as the reader see to be a minimum of eight years. (I’m assuming this because he is 16 in the book and was 8 when his mother ‘died’, which is the point that he describes he father to have “given up on him”)

I’m gonna quickly hop to parallels between Kaz and Pekka Rollins, bare with me I promise it’s relevant, which are quickly established as a key part of the novels. When Inej compares them, Kaz’s reply is “I don’t sell girls, I don’t con helpless kids out of their money” to which she gently responds “look at the floor of the Crow Club, Kaz”. Aside from this being the heartbreaking line that it is, it also does a very good job of highlighting their similarities and a similarity that they share with Jan Van Eck. When they meet the merch at the end of the first book they meet on an island called Vellgeluk, which is described as being popular with smugglers and slavers like those who kidnapped Inej. The other Crows are surprised Van Eck knows about Vellgeluk, but Kaz simply says “maybe he isn’t the upstanding merch he appears to be”. Great subtle foreshadowing for his double cross, and great establishment of the link between these three characters. In fact, Van Eck and Kaz echo each other more than you might think. Just as Kaz states “Greed bows to me, it is my servant and my lever”, Van Eck says “Yes, Chaos will come. And I will be it’s master”. In their first meeting, Van Eck accuses Kaz of murder and gambling with people’s lives, and in return Kaz points out that 1 in 5 of Van Eck’s ships will never return because they will sink or “fall prey to pirates”, so they are both doing the same thing, and that they both have the same motivations for this bloodshed: “profit”.

Now consider how often Wylan echoes Kaz, and therefore whether he echoes his father as well. They both have exceptional memories, Kaz’s being photographic/eidetic and Wylan being able to put words to music in his head to remember pages worth of infomation - this is even emphasised by Kaz being able to count cards when he gambles, saying “he could keep track of the game for up to three decks” and Jesper asking Wylan if he’d be able to apply “that trick to counting cards” to which he replies “probably. But I won’t”. They also both have impressive intellects, which could have placed them far higher up in the world than they’ve found themselves if it weren’t for cruel circumstances - Van Eck even comments on this, saying it angers him that Kaz has so much potential but does nothing with it. Then there’s their tendency to avoid being vulnerable. I think we too often overlook the fact that no-one knows Jan Van Eck hired two men to kill his son, not even Jesper, and that not even Inej knows what happened to Kaz on the Reaper’s Barge. Jesper believes that Wylan left his house as a result of his father’s abuse but that it was still his choice, and Inej has no information beyond “Pekka Rollins killed my brother” and the explanation of the con when Kaz faces off with Rollins in Crooked Kingdom. I genuinely believe that the biggest thing separating them is where they place blame for their situations. Kaz blames Pekka Rollins. Wylan actually blames himself.

Arguably, although he catalysed the events, if Rollins hadn’t conned Kaz and Jordie they still would have suffered in an almost identical way: they would both contract the Queen’s Lady Plague, they wouldn’t have enough money for both medicine and boarding, and Jordie would die. In that scenario Kaz would have still been left penniless and alone with nowhere to go, but he wouldn’t have had anyone to blame. In fact, he may have died as well because it’s really his drive for vengeance that makes him strive for survival. When he’s on the Reaper’s Barge he wonders if it’s worth trying to survive because there’s nothing waiting for him in the city, but then he realises that the chance of revenge is waiting for him, and that thought drives him to stay alive every day that follows. Without Rollins, Kaz probably would have blamed himself for Jordie’s death, and I’m backing that up with the singular moment when he’s first attacked by parem-high tide makers and has a brief “boy’s fear” that they are ghosts. He thinks, for a split second, that a ghost has come to kill him and what does he say? He says “Jordie had come for vengeance at last”. This is chapter three. We have no idea who Jordie is. With the limited information we had at the time and what we’d just seen happen to Big Bolliger, I assumed it was someone in Kaz’s gang that he had backstabbed and who has died because of what he did. But no. This single line leads me to wholeheartedly believe that Kaz blames Rollins, who realistically was only a small part of his suffering, quite so vividly to emotionally avoid blaming himself.

Wylan blames himself until around chapters 14 to 16 of Crooked Kingdom. His experiences with mental, emotional, and physical abuse have actively convinced him that his so-called ‘inadequacies’ caused a change in his father’s behaviour. But Wylan not being able to read didn’t magically turn Van Eck from a lucky family man into someone willing to try “specialists, tonics, beatings, [and] hypnotism” against his child. The fact is that Van Eck, like many abusers, is masterfully manipulative in everything he does. Wylan describes seeing his parents’ marriage as a happy one, but he also says “the argued all the time, sometimes about me. But I remember them laughing a lot too”. He’s quick to defend their relationship as if it isn’t supposed to be marred by argument and he lays blame on himself by suggesting that he was the root of their unhappiness. He also says that around Alys, Jan Van Eck becomes who he once was around Marya; a kinder, gentler man. I don’t think we’re meant to assume that he’s acting any differently with Alys in private right now, but I do think we’re meant to assume that he would have done down the line if he hadn’t been arrested (and presumably she filed for divorce). In chapter 14 of Crooked Kingdom, Wylan learns that his mother is still alive but that his father had her committed and declared insane so he could use it as grounds for divorce and marry Alys instead. And you know what happens? Wylan blames himself. He says, verbatim, to Jesper: “You don’t understand. It’s my fault”. He explains that Van Eck did this so he could have a “real heir”; because Marya produced a “faulty” child he needed a new woman to give him the child he wanted. That’s a messed up thing to think on so many levels, but Wylan doesn’t blame Van Eck because he is still being conditioned by his abuse. He and Kaz experienced different kinds of abuse, and Kaz wasn’t conditioned to blame anyone but his abuser, so that’s what he does. When Wylan does begin to blame Van Eck, he is immediately taken in by this same idea of revenge. Kaz says “you were angry. I needed you righteous” when explaining why he sent Wylan to St Hilde blind in chapter 16. Wylan was angry with his father before, but he wasn’t actively seeking vengeance. Now that he has a cause, someone other than himself to fight for? He tells Kaz “well, now you have me”.

Both of them have this potential to be fuelled by revenge or self-hatred, and although they go about it in different ways and lean towards different sides of the scale they are both balancing between those two extremes for the entire duology. Their past experiences have, and their future experiences could, tip them further either way but right now they are almost playing with the line.

Thank you so much if you’ve bothered to read this far, sorry for the long post but you did ask for an essay, so there you go. Tagging the people who asked - @kazooyay @mikasimaginairyworld @sunseeking-cyptid @moonlit-aura @alexplutoplanet @gandalfsmallnaturals @livsarthaven @goodomenstrack23 @origami-butterfly @flower-biatch @bookworm010307 @thesunniest @wherela @space-ace-thoughts @sixofbabycrows @antisocial-burrito

Sorry if I missed anyone!!!

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rainydaymiscellaneous · 1 year

Text

Into the Fire (Kaz x fem!reader)

Summary: after time in Hellgate, your sister makes a bargain to break you out.

Warnings: A lot of violence, discussions of sickness and serious injury, mentions of suicide and murder

It had all happened so fast. You were blamed for a murder, a murder you didn't even commit, you were the one that happened across that damn body. No doubt the works of Pekka Rollins after you declined the invitation to the Dime Lions. You were a valuable asset, there was no doubt. You were extremely intelligent, knew your way around locks and could charm the most stubborn men. Pekka needed to one up that son of a bitch that was trying to take that title of "King of the Barrel" from him.

Your sister, Dahlia immediately tried forming a plan when she heard from a friend about someone who might take a deal to help her. So she saved up, working beside Nina.

"Good luck trying to convince that good for nothing bastard" she'd tell her. Still, Dahlia had heard enough to know that this Brekker man was simple if you had enough Kruge. Finally she filled up five jars of it, walking into the Slat with hesitance.

"Who's that?" Jesper asked Inej who was sitting next to him.

"No idea." She said confused, watching the girl look around. She turned to the two who were staring.

"Where can one find a mister Brekker?" She asked. Jesper almost let out a laugh. Very rarely had he heard a "Mister" be put in front of Kaz's name.

"Uhm.. I'll uh.. find him." Jesper said getting up. Inej looked at the girl. She was pretty. Too pretty to be standing in a place like this without purpose.

"Kaz. There's uh..." Jesper let out a small laugh. "There's a girl wanting to speak with you out there." Jesper said. Kaz looked up from his desk, holding papers with his gloved hands.

"She say why?" He asked, looking back down.

"No but I'll tell you, she looks out of place." He said. Kaz sighed.

"Ask what she wants. If she's a whore, send her out."

"And if it's something else?"

"Send her here, I suppose."

Jesper walked out, the girl looking up. "Is he here?" She asked.

"What's your business?" He asked.

"I... I need help." She said.

"Are you wanting to join?" Inej asked.

"Join? Join what?" She asked confused. This girl had to be a serious fish out of water.

"You're definitely not from here, are you?" Jesper asked.

"No, look can he see or not?" She huffed.

"If you're from the Menagerie, he's not interested." Jesper said.

"I'm not from the fucking Menagerie!" She said, clearly annoyed.

"Okay... well. Let me see-" "Is that his office?" She asked. "Well-"

She shoved past Jesper, Inej standing up shocked as she walked into Kaz's office. "I need help." She said. Inej ran in.

"Seriously!? What is your problem!?" Inej asked, grabbing her arm.

"Let me go!" She yelled.

"You can't just barge in-"

"I HAVE MONEY!" she yelled.

Kaz looked up finally at the chaos. "Let her go." Kaz said. Inej looked at him with uncertainty but let go after his stern gaze. He motioned to a seat in front of his desk. "Sit." He said. Dahlia sat down, glaring at Inej as she left. Jesper pointed at the door, silently asking if Kaz wanted it closed. He nodded, Jesper closing the door as he went to calm down a pissed off Inej.

"What's this I hear about you needing help?" He asked.

"My sister got framed for murder. She's in that god damn prison, she's been there for almost a year." She said. Kaz rose a brow.

"She's in Hellgate?" He asked.

"Yes." She said. "Have a good day, close the door on your way out." Kaz said, Dahlia frowning.

"Now hold on-"

"Grab a drink if you'd like. Just go." He said. She slammed a jar of money on his desk. He looked up.

"I've got five more of these." She said. He leaned back in his chair.

"How do you know she was framed?" He asked.

"She's not exactly the person to kill a man. Steal his wallet, sure. Murder isn't something she'd be able to do." She said. Kaz sighed.

"Who framed her?" He asked.

"Some gang leader. Uhm... Pekka something." She said. Kaz's blood ran cold.

"What?" He asked.

"She got noticed by him. He made her an offer, she said no and one day on her route back home, she found a body and he had her arrested." She explained. Kaz frowned, staring at the jar of money.

"Five more of these?" He asked.

"Yes." She said. He sighed.

"Fine. But you aren't going with us. You'll wait the Crow Club, do I make myself clear?" He asked. She nodded.

"Thank you." She said relieved.

"Don't thank me yet, I haven't freed your sister yet."

Your eyes had become used to the dark from the prison you had been trapped in. Your hands were bound to the floor by the shackles as the smell of piss and blood hung in the air. You debated every day on just strangling yourself with your chains but you knew Mediks would revive you as quickly as possible.

"Psst" you heard. You lazily looked up to see Quincy, a guard you had charmed into being your friend. He tossed you a piece of bread. You mouthed thank you to him, him nodding quietly as he turned his back to the cell as if he were guarding it. He was the small bit of light in such a bleak place. You heard footsteps of other guards pass.

"What time is it?" You asked in a low whisper.

"Three in the afternoon" he said softly. You leaned your head on the wall, letting out a shuddering breath. In a week, it would have been one year since your capture.

You wondered if Eloise was alive, if she was still at home. You two parted ways when she was eighteen, you leaving for Ketterdam. You recalled her saying something about moving during your trial but you had no clue if she had gone through with it. You missed the fresh air of the outside. The air here was stale, it reeked of death. It didn't help that Hellgate was basically caught in a draft of air where the smells of a nearby island that was inhabited by the dead.

Each breath you took felt heavier and more horrible than the last. When you first arrived, you thought you had been put in the wrong area, however it seemed you were wrong. You were one of the few women housed in this wretched place.

"We're doing WHAT" Jesper asked.

"Unfreakingbelievable." Inej said, putting a hand to her head.

"She's paying." Kaz said.

"And if the bitch paid you to jump off a cliff?!" Jesper asked.

"Eh. Depends on the amount." He shrugged.

"Are we recruiting this girl?" Inej asked.

"It depends." Kaz said.

"Depends how?" Inej asked.

"On if she's worth the trouble." He said. Nina was right. He was very slappable at times.

"So how are we breaking her out? I'm thinking we'll pretend to be nuns and pull her into a convent-"

"Jesper. Serious." Kaz said. Jesper sighed.

"Kaz, this is beyond crazy. This is insane." Jesper said.

"I've figured out a plan. It's insane, sure. But not impossible." He said. Inej sighed.

"Jesper, you'll be our distraction. Inej, you're to sneak in on a freight ship, there's one leaving in eighteen hours. Can you make it?" He asked. "Yes." She said reluctantly.

"Good. Now for the rest of this."

You heard the familiar jingle come from the hall and you sighed as the man you loathed stood before you. "Do you want in today?" He asked, his dark emotionless eyes staring into yours.

"Fuck off Roland." You said.

"Come on now darling, don't be that way. I'm sure those snakes will eat you alive one of these days. Have fun on your damp floor." He said with a chuckle. You shuddered as you heard him walking down the cell block.

Tears of frustration built in your eyes. This felt like an inescapable nightmare. Yes, this could be worse, you could've been in the old tower. You could be friendless. But it didn't stop the fear of being unable to come out of this alive from seeping into your mind. Your once vibrant eyes were now hollow and filled with darkness. You were sick of this life. You were sick of everything.

The fog settled on top of the waters towards the island. It felt ominous as the group rode in the rowboats. Inej was questioning everything at this moment. She was wondering why she went along with such a stupid plan in the first place. She looked at the man who was looking at an island with distant and pained eyes. There was a familiarity in this location, there was no doubt to her.

You heard Quincy move back to the post. "How's your sister?" You asked, knowing you were mostly alone now.

"She's fine. A little worse for the wear but..."

"good." You said softly. This was the most news of the outside you'd hear about.

"Didn't you say you had a sister?" Quincy asked.

"I do, I have two. One is two years younger than me, the other is three years younger. " you said.

"Are they pretty?"

"Trying to get ideas over there Quince?" You teased making him chuckle.

"Hardly. I'm more of a fan of older women thank you." He said. You gasped dramatically.

"Hunting cougars are you?" You teased making him fight an urge to laugh.

You heard a door slam and you closed your mouth, Quincy straightening up. "Quincy." A man yelled.

"Sir." He said.

"Your under arrest-"

"What?" He said confused.

"For conspiring with a prisoner-" your heart dropped.

"Sir-"

"You and Miss Y/n have been conspiring for nearly the whole time she's been in here-"

"He's innocent!" You argued.

"Shut up." The man snarled.

"You'll have time to argue in the old tower." A voice said. No. No. No no no.

"NO!" You screamed. "HE'S INNOCENT- PLEASE!" You screamed as the door opened and guards came to retrieve you. You thrashed against the guards as Roland smirked against a wall. You locked eyes with him. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" you screamed. Quincy was cuffed and you panicked. "I'LL DO IT!" You screamed.

Roland leaned off the wall. "You will?" He asked, satisfied that it was so easy to break you.

"Yes! Just let him GO!" you said. Roland looked in your eyes.

"Fine." He said. "You heard the girl. Uncuff him." He said. They obeyed, uncuffing Quincy. "Return to your post boy. Be thankful we didn't take your fucking head." He said. You watched him leave, looking over his shoulder clearly concerned for you. You were yanked forward, released from the floor but now dragged through the halls.

You followed the guards, hearing prisoner's screams through the prison. You hated Roland at this moment. You hated Pekka more. He was the whole reason you were in here. You knew he did this. He did this to put you in the Hellshow... Oh he'd get a show.

Kaz stepped out of the boat, face covered by a mask. Inej was horrified the first time she caught wind of such a place. To set foot in it was even worse. "Do not stray from the guide until you have my say so." Kaz said. Inej nodded. She knew the rules. If she strayed too early, she'd be found out and killed. Or worse, locked up in Hellgate.

The group followed the guides which happened across your cell block. Kaz was frowning under his mask once he realized you had been moved. There was only one reason you wouldn't be in there. The reason was also the purpose of having a guide for such a terrible place. The group had been seated in a coloseum like structure. Inej hated this plan more than any other plan that Kaz had formed before. Not only did she have to be in the most awful place but she had to watch this.

The crowds cheered as the announcer pumped up the crowds. "We are proud to announce that the got some new meat today." Kaz frowned. Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. You were pulled into the ring, Inej glancing at Kaz. She could tell even under a smask that he was frustrated. "SPIN THE WHEEEELL!" the announcer screamed making the crowd roar. You did, spinning it as you fired an angry look at a man in the stands. If looks could kill, this competition wouldn't have been an issue for you.

The wheel landed on a dog and you were unshackled after the announcer was lifted, as to avoid being killed by you. Kaz sighed. At least this would be a way to figure out if you were useful or not. He knew you had to be somewhat resourceful seeing as Kaz got intel from one of the guards who claimed you as a friend. Kaz thought it impossible to find friends in such a low place but you made him stand corrected.

You picked up a blade from the sand swallowing hard as you focused on the wolves emerging from the mouth. You counted three as the mouth closed. You swallowed hard, slowly raising the blade. You hadn't wielded one in years.

Kaz noticed your footing. This was not the first time you used a blade. Kaz saw the various scratches and bruises on you, letting him know that you could take a hit before going down.

A wolf challeneged you, you ducking as it leapt for your throat and slicing its underbelly. You shuddered at that feeling as it hit the ground. Two more to go. You decided to make the next move before the wolves, using the wall to push off for a faster trajectory as you slammed the blade into one's jaw. "One more." Kaz thought. "You have just one more."

You backed up, your ankle hitting your shackles making you stumble. The wolf chose then to attack. You had to react and you had to react quickly. You kicked up the heavy shackle, winding the wolf as it hit its belly. You slammed your blade down, through its head.

The crowd roared for your victory as wolves' blood stained your face. Inej glanced at Kaz, unsure of what to do. They sat through numerous matches until the groups were escorted back. "What now?" She whispered. "We'll have to change course, she won't be in the same cell." Kaz said. So they slipped out, proceeding down a hall.

You were shoved into a new cell, Roland wearing a grin that said he got exactly what he wanted. You glared at him. "Come now, don't be like that! You've got a new cell." He said as the guards shackled you back to the floor. You saw Quincy behind him.

"You called for me sir?" He said.

"Ah. Right. The boy." Roland said looking at him. You saw the glint of silver that was his knife and frowned.

"Quincy, you're in danger-" a guard slapped you.

"Shut your mouth, girl." He said. Quincy looked at you confused before Roland's blade stabbed him. You let out a scream of horror and anguish.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Kaz heard in the hall.

"Follow that voice." He said.

"How do you know that's her?" Inej asked.

"She's the only female in this block." He stated before walking through the halls.

"State your business." A guard said.

"Oh I had an inquiry." He said.

"Which is?"

"Your mother and whether or not she's aware she's raised a bastard." Kaz replied, mouthing "shut eye." To Inej. She rolled her eyes, knocking the guard out.

"A simple, where's the loo would've worked!" She said. Kaz shrugged it off, slipping past the unconscious man.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" You screamed, angry tears falling from your eyes.

"I'm sure we will. Enjoy your stay in your new cell!" Roland said. You let out a frustrated scream as Roland walked away, yanking your chains as far as they could go. You sobbed, looking at Quincy who was struggling on the ground.

"Quincy- I am-am so sorry" you cried.

"An-any moment now." He breathed. You were confused looking at him. "Ther-there are p-people here for you" he said.

"Exec-executioners?" You asked. By this point, the headman's axe was a mercy.

"R-rescuers." He said.

"Quincy-Quincy what have you done?" You asked. You heard a struggle out in the hall. Quincy looked relieved.

"Be-be free." He said.

"Quincy- QUINCY!" you screamed as the shallow rise and falls of his chest stopped. A masked figure came out with someone else.

"We've got a few seconds before the third bell." The figure said, unlocking the door. You moved away from them confused.

"We're here to bring you home." There was a woman in this group.

"Home?" You were beyond confused by this.

"Get her unlocked Kaz, we don't have much time." The girl said. The masked man, presumed now to be Kaz was unlocking your shackles. You heard a loud boom and looked confused as you heard multiple guards sprinting through.

"We have to go. Now." He said, pulling you up. You winced and he frowned. "Shit. She's injured." He realized.

"Thank that bastard Roland." You muttered, numbed tears falling from your eyes.

"Where's Quincy?" The girl asked.

"He's the body behind you." You said, looking at him. "Shit. SHIT." Inej hissed.

"We don't have time, we need to leave." Kaz urged.

You were practically dragged through the halls of the prison by these people, who honestly, you had to trust because literally anything could be better than this hellhole. You made way for an exit before Roland blocked you.

"Thought you were leavin' aye?" He said, that cocky smile filling you with rage. You gritted your teeth, snatching the cane from the masked stranger. He almost scolded you but everything happened so fast. You had not only managed to kill Roland, you had taken the lion's head and bashed in the skull of the man.

You finally stood up. "Incapable of murder" your sister said. "She doesn't have it in her" she said. Otherwise your sister had drastically underestimated you or this place drove you to that point. Considering the Hellgate was infamous for its conditions, Kaz guessed the second option as you handed him back the cane.

"I've wanted to do that for months." You said, stepping over his corpse. Kaz wiped off his cane, swapping a look with Inej.

You and the two others walked outside, a man waiting by a boat. "Let's go, we've got five minutes before they realize she escaped. " he said. Kaz motioned for you to climb aboard first. You did, Inej handing you a cloak as Kaz got into the boat. Inej untied it as another man dashed over and jumped in.

"Saints Jesper! You're going to flip us!" Inej gasped.

"No, it's fine- now paddle like your fucking life depend on it because it does!" Jesper yelled.

And so Inej rowed, after a good distance, Kaz removed his mask as did Inej. You looked the face of Kaz, looking in his eyes. You could see that behind a hardened persona laid a boy who still had a glint of humanity in him. You took a moment though, the second you were back in the waters of Ketterdam to breathe. Really breathe. The place was not perfect by any means. However it was, it still was home to you. You felt a drop of water on your shoulder. Kaz sighed. "Yes, rain on top of it all!" He said frustrated.

"Let it, it'll mask us for now." Inej said, pulling into a harbor.

You were helped out the boat by this Jesper man. The rain fall got worse as you walked through the streets of Ketterdam. "I swear to the saints this is the most annoying job I've done" Kaz muttered.

"I thought you didn't believe in saints?" Inej teased. Kaz gritted his teeth.

"Forgive them, they were raised in a barn." Jesper said to you. You smiled slightly. "So you're out of prison. What's the first thing you want to do?" Jesper asked. You pondered.

"Have a nice meal." You said. He laughed.

"A respectable answer." He said making you chuckle. Kaz entered the club, all of you following behind.

You froze in your tracks though the instant you saw her. Jesper saw the look on your face. Everyone could see the look on your face. What was supposed to be a heartwarming reunion of sisters was something far different.

Rage. Unbridled Rage.

"Oh thank the saints! You're safe!" Dahlia said, rushing forward to hug you. You immediately shoved her away, Inej looking at Kaz confused.

"Y/n? Are you alright?" Dahlia asked.

"You think I don't know?" You scoffed. Jesper looked at Kaz then you.

"Y/n, I paid for your freedom--"

"You took my freedom!" You snapped. Kaz could see something different with Dahlia's stance. He underestimated the teary eyed girl. He didn't like being fooled. And he certainly didn't like going through all that for a traitor. Kaz gripped his cane, the leather cracking sound of his gloves alerting Inej to his anger. She suspected that if the man wasn't wearing gloves, his knuckles would be white.

"Y/n, I surely don't know what you are talking about-"

"You and Pekka fucking Rollins!" You shouted. Heads in the club certainly turned to that name. "You tried to sell me- you and father both did! To that-that monster! And when it didn't work you had me framed for fucking murder!" You screamed. Inej frowned, looking at Kaz shocked by the revelation.

"Y/n, let's discuss this somewhere else- we'll have coffee- we'll talk-" you shook with anger.

"I would rather go back to Hellgate than ever talk to you or father again." You snarled. Dahlia went silent.

"The girl you knew, the one that bowed to your abuse, father's abuse is dead. And you killed her." You said. Dahlia finally dropped the facade, her face looking at you with hatred.

"You have nowhere to run Y/n. You will come home or you will go back." She said.

"I'll die first." You said. "I can arrange that." She said, a despicable look on her face. You swallowed hard, staring her down. It felt like you were staring at a monster even worse than whatever came from the Hellshow. Jesper looked at Kaz for guidance.

A gun was drawn from under Dahlia's dress and Kaz raised his cane to her, everyone else following suit. There must've been dozens of guns and pistols aimed at Dahlia, along with a few knives.

"There's a problem with this." Kaz said. "I was told to bring Y/n back. Here she is." Kaz said.

"Oh for fucks sake." Dahlia huffed, slamming her bag down. "Your money is in there." She said, not removing her eyes from you.

"Inej."

Inej reached into the bag, pulling out the jars of money. "It's here Kaz." She said.

"Good. Jesper." Kaz said.

A loud shot rang out and Dahlia toppled over. You saw the pool of blood form from her head as her dead gaze landed on you one last time. You shook, partially from fear, partially from the fact that you were damp from the rain. Kaz looked at your sister with disgust. "I hate being lied to. Even more, I hate that it worked." Kaz said. "Lynn. Clean it up." Kaz said. A woman sighed, walking over. "You. Follow me. Now." He said to you.

"Kaz wait a minute." Jesper halted.

"What Jesper?" Kaz snapped.

"The girl is hungry. She's cold. Have some humanity." He said. Kaz looked at you. He sighed.

"Xander, make her a steak. She deserves it. There's a fireplace in my office." He said, motioning for you to go. You looked at your sister one last time before looking back at Kaz. This man didn't need to rescue you, but he did. He didn't need to kill Dahlia, but he did. He didn't need to feed you, and yet there he was making a demand for food.

You took the time to eat, following Kaz back to a place he called "The Slat". You walked with him into his office as he lit the fireplace. "Sit." He said, motioning for you to sit on the couch.

"I am wet from the rain... If you don't mind I'll sit on the floor." You muttered.

"Do what you'd like, I don't care." He sighed, sitting on the couch.

You looked into the fireplace, feeling warmth for the first time in almost a year. Real warmth. You held out your hands, letting them heat up. Kaz looked at you. You were ruthless when you had to be. You were charming enough that you found a friend in the worst place. You could he useful, only if you wanted to be.

"Your sister said you had nowhere to go." Kaz said, looking at you. You didn't look him in the eyes.

"I suppose that's true... Now that Quincy is dead I..." you cleared your throat, lowering your hands. "I have no one." You muttered.

"You can work for us." He said, leaning back. You looked at him finally.

"What?" You asked shocked.

"The Dregs. You can join the ranks. You'll stay here with us until you're on your feet." He said.

"You want me to join the gang that is rivals with the other that tried to kill me?" You asked.

"We have a common enemy." Kaz said. You couldn't argue with that. You wanted that Pekka bastard dead.

"What... exactly are the benefits?" You asked. "You'll have a roof over your head. Friends even, if you like that sort of thing. You won't go hungry. The only thing you'll have to do are the jobs I give you." He said. You looked at him.

"You're not... shipping me to the Menagerie are you?" You asked. Kaz scoffed.

"Hardly not. Inej would have my head if I did." He said. You looked at him and the hand he extended to you. You noticed, despite the wetness of the man's gloves, he did not remove them.

You had come from Hell and survived. You had lived in Hell and survived. Now wasn't just an offer of food and a roof but a chance to side with the very people Pekka hated. That was enticing. That was more than enticing.

That was perfect.

#kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz x you #kaz x y/n #kaz x reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #six of crows #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x reader

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19burstraat · 6 months

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I think often of the last chapter of crooked kingdom. not the one everyone considers the last chapter, the last last chapter, the pekka chapter. weeks (months?) after kaz scared him out of ketterdam, pekka starts making moves to salvage his businesses. not much, just reading papers and correspondence, maybe answering letters. and that very night, like he's summoned her, inej appears to warn him off. if he ever thinks of coming back to ketterdam, she says, they'll meet again so she can make the second cut. I love love love it. we know that kaz didn't send her ('I have my own message to deliver'), so her knowledge of pekka's attempt to return suggests she's been keeping tabs on him for her own means. or she has supernaturally good intuition, which is probably the sort of thing she'd want pekka to think-- he worries that maybe she isn't entirely human after all. but regardless, this scene serves a couple of purposes-- it hammers home exactly how scared the slavers should be of inej (very lol), it illustrates the contrast between the complacent old ketterdam (pekka & jan van eck) and the frankly feral new one (kaz & wylan), but I think it also draws a pointed line under the closeness of kaz and inej that we saw in the last chapter.

the only witnesses to the kaz-pekka showdown were pekka's men, and inej. we know that pekka's men will have taken pekka's weakness & kaz's monstrosity from it, but what did inej take from it? because put mildly, kaz lost his absolute shit in that chapel, and let slip more than he probably would have done if he'd just been talking to inej alone. inej, at that point, had been aware for a while how obsessed kaz was with rollins, but that probably put into a hard perspective exactly how badly his presence and involvement affects kaz. kaz describes it as a 'dark door' that's opened in him; if rollins was to come back, there's a good chance kaz would be dragged back into that (to use an inej phrase) undertow, of obsession and revenge and irrationality. they don't really discuss it, and we don't get much of inej's perspective on it, but I think it's not surprising that she wants pekka out of kaz's way permanently. he's a threat to any progress she has made or might make with him. he's the tangible reminder of the worst and least reasonable side of kaz that always teeters on the edge of going where inej can't follow.

so yes, we talk a lot about how inej influences kaz... but maybe less about how kaz has influenced inej. inej takes a page out of the kaz playbook, here, probably because she's doing this for him (even if I'm not entirely sure he even knows that she's gone there). she gets into pekka's head, plays on the potentially supernatural and the impossible, sets up a 'what if?' and plants a seed of paranoia. she uses the nickname kaz gave her, 'the wraith', and rollins thinks of her as kaz's 'wraith queen'. kaz says to her that 'sometimes fate needs a little assistance', and clearly she took that to heart. we know that when kaz needs extra morality, he often draws on inej; but when inej needs extra monstrosity, she often draws on kaz.

#mm idk I really like the scene. pekka's pov shuts us out from the truth of it which is nice #six of crows #not sure if this makes sense but anyway #crooked kingdom #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #kanej #pekka rollins #my post

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auroravictorium · 1 year

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bigger than the whole sky (k.b.)

every single thing to come has turned into ashes.

Summary: pekka rollins' plan is revealed when reader is kidnapped on a job and taken to an unknown location; inej and jesper have to break the news.

Pairing(s): kaz x fem!reader (established relationship) Word Count: ~2.4k Warnings: violence [reader is knocked out and kidnapped], use of weapons [jesper's gun, inej's knives], poor proofreading oops Genre: angst

Author's Note: hello hello!! here is the next part of midnights - to my new readers (and there's a lot of you, hi!!!), i highly recommend at least reading from midnight rain onward to understand the backstory behind what happens in this chapter! happy reading loves <3 next part coming sooooooooon (w lots of kaz anger/violence/being dirtyhands)

You scaled the side of the bank, hissing through your teeth as the wind whistled past you and threatened to disrupt your balance. The tips of your fingers were rubbed raw and bloody from scrabbling for handholds, and your toes ached in your boots. Still, you scrambled to get to the dark window on the third floor of the building; when your fingers made contact with the windowsill, you sighed in relief.

Inej was watching the perimeter from the rooftop, as she could move the fastest to alert you or Jesper to trouble. Meanwhile, Jesper was on the first floor babbling with a Stadwatch officer to delay his patrol throughout the bank.

You slowly eased the window upward, hoping to prevent it from screeching and attracting attention. To your relief, the window moved seamlessly, allowing you to slip inside and pull it shut behind you. You took a moment to adjust to being on solid ground again and let your heart stop pounding in your ears; crouching, you pressed your palm to the plush carpeted floor and let a breath slowly pass your lips. You hated heights, but you fought hard to be on this job. Still, you couldn't help but think, I'm making Jesper scale a building next time. It was far past his turn to have to cheat gravity.

Once the wind was no longer rushing in your ears and your pulse had calmed, you straightened up and moved to the oak cabinet in the corner. You needed three files on wealthy merchants with connections to Pekka Rollins. With no indication of what Rollins was planning to do next, Kaz had tentatively focused on crippling Dime Lion businesses by cutting off the supply of the goods needed to keep them successfully operating.

It was risky for you to get the files on people connected to Pekka Rollins, but you were tired of being on the bench; you could only do so many pickpocketing jobs or shifts in the Crow Club before you started getting frustrated and feeling like you weren't contributing to the Dregs. Though Kaz understood, it had taken a minor before he relented on the condition that you were in and out as soon as possible. No detours, no meandering along the East Stave. And if a Dime Lion showed their face, you had to drop the files and run.

You knew you had until about sunrise before Kaz thought you'd been captured and burned the city down. You'd be surprised if he wasn't already searching for the matches.

You dug through the messy files in the cabinet before finding the first of the three names. One down. You slipped the papers from the file and rolled them up to stuff in the inside pocket of your coat. They were bulky and dug into your ribs, but you needed your hands to climb down.

The hairs on your neck prickled, lifting despite the warmth in the room, and your fingers slowed their sifting. You turned your head, your gaze scanning the dark room for a figure, movement, or any sign of what had made you uneasy.

Everything was quiet and still; the only light came from a street lamp outside. It occasionally flickered from the breeze, casting dancing shadows across the pale office walls. That did nothing to ease your sudden nerves, and you only started to work through the files faster. I need to get out of here.

Something hissed near the door, like one of Wylan's bombs being lit. Except Wylan wasn't here, and only a fool would bring a bomb into one of the wealthiest banks in Ketterdam.

You spun toward the sound, losing interest in the files and drawing your pistol. It wasn't the most subtle or quiet weapon, but it felt secure in your hand. You felt slightly safer with a gun outstretched; all you had to do was pull the trigger.

There was nothing by or on the door except for the waltzing shadows of a candlestick and a pen sticking out of a jar of ink. Your eyes narrowed, and you took a careful step forward. The floorboard creaked beneath your boot, and you halted, peering through the darkness.

White smoke seeped under the door and curled upward. It swirled in a draft that shouldn't be in the room, twisting and writhing toward you. An abnormally sweet scent hit your nose, and your head started to spin. The room wobbled and twirled, or maybe that was you when you stumbled back against the desk in your haste to get to the window.

Someone knew you were here.

"Jesper! Inej!" you shouted, feeling the desk's surface beneath your palms as you scrambled over it. The jar of ink shattered against the floor, dark liquid soaking into the plush carpet. If your shout didn't get their attention, maybe the clattering of your attempted escape would.

Your knee slammed against the desk chair as your coordination failed. Your movement turned sluggish, and your muscles ached as you tried to push them to move faster. Somehow, you felt your way to the window but couldn't force your arms to open it. They hung limply at your sides, unresponsive to your pleading to move.

"Jes! Inej!" you tried again, but your voice was too quiet. It wouldn't carry up or down; maybe you hadn't even spoken louder than a whisper. "Help."

Your vision blurred, and the world flipped on its axis.

The ink-stained carpet caught you as your knees gave out. Your pistol slipped from your hands, your traitorous fingers loosening their grip. It thumped uselessly beside you. You tried to reach for it, but you couldn't move, couldn't do anything as three muscled figures creaked open the door and stepped inside.

Their faces were covered by masks, painted like grotesque creatures that sent fear crawling down your spine. These were not Dime Lions. They had too much pride to cover their faces when attacking.

Mercenaries.

"Grab her," one said, the man with the brightest, most absurd mask. His voice was abnormally warbled and deep. You blinked hazily at him, and your lips wouldn't cooperate with your mind as you tried to tell them not to touch you. Your arms remained bound at your sides, though you longed to swing them up at their throats. But they wouldn't listen, and one threw you over his shoulder.

Kaz, you thought, as if he could hear you despite the stillness of your lips. Your eyes drooped despite your battle against the violent unconsciousness trying to take you. Kaz.

The last thing you felt was the world swinging beneath you as the men carried you off through a servants' passage, down a narrow stairwell, and into a howling, blurred night.

Inej peered down from the bank's roof, watching for a sign of any Stadwatch or alarm amongst passersby. The Financial District was completely and utterly still, illuminated by moonlight and half-dead lampposts.

A door slammed on the furthest side of the bank, and Inej heard boots hitting the cobbled ground. She turned, rushing to the rooftop's edge and expecting to see Jesper with a Stadwatch officer or three behind him. Instead, she saw three men sprinting down the alleyway, a limp form swinging over one's shoulder. They sprinted down the street toward a carriage waiting at the corner beneath an extinguished lamppost.

Horror washed over her, and she swung over the roof's edge, starting to climb down. Her usual composure disappeared, replaced by the scrambling and fumbling of panic, sending mortar and splinters falling to the alleyway below in her haste to follow her friend.

"Y/N!" someone shouted, sprinting out of the building through the front doors. It was Jesper, but there was no Stadwatch. He'd left him behind to take his patrol when he saw the men escaping with his best friend.

Jesper nearly careened into a lamppost as he skidded to a stop and drew his pistols, aiming at the man lagging behind the other two. But the man took a spot behind the man carrying Y/N, seemingly aware of Jesper's plan, and Jes knew he couldn't take a lethal shot without risking hitting Y/N.

He fired at the man's leg, piercing his thigh and sending him crumpling to the ground. But the man leading the escape lagged behind and pulled the injured one to his feet, hauling him along. They'd planned this. They knew everything, including how each would respond.

Inej appeared beside Jesper, panting from her frantic descent from the roof, but she didn't wait to catch her breath; she ran after the mercenaries, her boots pounding against the sidewalk and her daggers appearing in her hands. She launched one through the air as the men jumped into the waiting carriage. It clattered against the carriage door, and she gritted her teeth in fury.

"Damn it!" Jesper bellowed, catching up to Inej and repeatedly firing at the carriage as it started to pull away. Bullets pierced the back and hit the wheels, but nothing could be done; the carriage pulled away, taking the mercenaries and Y/N with it. "Sons of-"

Inej pressed a hand to Jesper's forearm. "We need to get back to the Slat and talk to Kaz," she said firmly. "Now."

"But they have Y/N! Shouldn't we follow them?" Jesper waved his hand wildly in the direction the carriage had gone.

"With what carriage, Jesper? What horse? We certainly can't follow them on foot." Inej turned and pulled Jesper along with her. Her steps were quick, and she led him out of the financial district and across the bridge into the Barrel as fast as she could. "Kaz will make a plan."

"By the time we get to the Slat, they could be long gone. Who knows where they're taking her?" Jesper protested, but he hurried alongside Inej. Soon, his long strides overtook hers, and Inej had to rush to keep up with him. "Kaz's plan will be razing the damn city, which won't help unless she's still in the city."

"Stop talking, Jesper," Inej hissed as they entered the crowded boulevard along the East Stave. She nimbly worked her way through the crowd and burst into a sprint the second the Slat came into view.

The two of them darted up the steps into the building, and Jesper only cursed a few Saints as one of the rotted wooden steps collapsed on itself on their way to the attic. He shook off the splinters and followed Inej straight into Kaz's office, where he was sitting at his desk and looking over financial documents.

He looked up as they burst through the door, chests heaving and eyes alight with panic. "What?" He looked between the two of them. Two.

Kaz lowered the parchment he was looking over, and a nagging, painful feeling settled on the nape of his neck. His pulse started to hammer in his ears, but he continued, hoping he was wrong as he took in the panicked expressions on Inej and Jesper's faces. "Where's Y/N?"

"Dime Lions," Jesper breathed. "Grabbed her while she was searching for the files." He ran a hand over his mouth, feeling like he might vomit as a sinking feeling settled on his stomach. This was what Kaz had feared. Kaz had trusted him to help keep Y/N safe, and Jesper knew he had failed him. Jesper placed his hands on his hips and started to pace, unable to stay still. "Took off to the south in a carriage."

He plopped in the seat across from Kaz and hid his face in his hands.

"Mercenaries," Inej corrected and glanced at Jesper, a knowing look in her eyes. She felt the same, having been on the rooftop and looking over the city while Y/N climbed up the building and looked through the office. "They wore decorated masks. Dime Lions don't do that."

Kaz went terrifyingly still. When Inej looked at him, her fingers curling around one of the blades at her side for comfort, she could have mistaken him as one of the statue performers along the East Stave during the summertime. It was as if marble crept over his skin and locked him in place.

He didn't so much as breathe.

Jesper peeked over his fingertips at Kaz, holding his breath as he waited for hell to break loose. "Boss?" he said nervously. He waved a hand in front of Kaz's face.

Kaz finally spoke, his voice so dangerously quiet that Inej knew the city could quite possibly be on fire come morning. Dawn would arrive to find the city already awash in red and orange, buildings licked by flames, and the sky darkened by smoke.

"Go downstairs," was all Kaz said, and he didn't have to repeat himself. Jesper stood and went for the door, taking his hat in his hands and twirling it around his fingers.

Jes didn't think Kaz would appreciate an apology, nor did he think he could formulate one as a lump formed in his throat. He kept his gaze on the ground as he slipped out of Kaz's office, and he didn't even curse as another rotten stair gave out on his way down.

Inej dared to linger, looking over Kaz's face as it flickered between a facade of calm and a look of pure murder. His expression didn't scare her, but she knew Y/N's kidnappers and the Dime Lions should be. If Pekka Rollins wasn't the key to discovering where Y/N would be taken, Inej knew Kaz would finally kill him. That much was clear.

"Should I gather the others?" Inej said quietly. She moved toward the door, ready to go the second she received an answer. Y/N did not have time for Inej to process the guilt resting heavily on her lungs. The mercenaries would not wait to do something to her if they hadn't already. She needed to move now and find out where her friend had been taken.

Kaz's chin dipped almost imperceptibly in a nod, and Inej spun on her heel and left. She gently shut the door behind her.

Despite her forced calm, she couldn't help but flinch as the door rattled in its frame behind her, and a loud thump echoed down the hall. She picked up her pace to catch up with Jesper, hurrying downstairs after him to summon the Crows.

TAGLIST: @tonberry-yoda, @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r, @futurecorps3, @statsvitenskap, @sapphiccloud, @casualladyinternet, @d34drapunzel, @noctemys, @whitejxsmine, @so6, @franzelt, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @marlene-the-witch, @thestudiouswanderer

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happynowyo · 1 year

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Stubbornness

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader

Warnings: mentions of traumas and touch aversion, Reader being a Healer

A/n: so here's the thing I wanted something angsty and smutty but could come up only with the first part tonight so I'll do another hot part in a few days to finish this completely.

Word count: 2,1k

Part 2

— I don't need that, — the confident tone cut through the silence like a sharp knife, sending shivers down your spine for a second.

You might have believed it if you hadn't personally witnessed a couple of Dime Lions beating Kaz with such zeal that the crunch of his broken ribs was clearly audible in the empty valley.

So you continued to worry about him without listening to what was said. You paid far more attention to the quiet sighs Kaz let out with each step, leaning harder and harder on his bad leg, as you noticed the pained expression flickering in his eyes, though you had to hand it to him that he was using all his acting skills to pretend to be fine and make you leave.

— Stop being so stubborn! Even Matthias isn't afraid of my abilities anymore after I healed that bullet wound in his shoulder.

You determinedly followed Kaz into his room, letting the door slam menacingly. As a sign to Kaz that you wouldn't just give up and leave him to be alone with the pain. As a sign to everyone else in the Slat that no one was allowed to bother him anymore in the next couple of hours.

There was no relationship between the two of you. At least, that's what you both claimed when Jesper and Nina cast too many meaningful glances at you, and Inej carefully kept in a secret all those times she saw you leaving Kaz's bedroom before breakfast, knowing that you had spent the night with him. Saints, sometimes even you convinced yourself that you had nothing in common, even though certain details made it clear that your relationship had long gone beyond the professional.

If you didn't know Kaz personally, you'd think he was giving you conflicting signals. He was withdrawn and aloof, preferring to talk only about business. Even if he insisted and you spent the entire evening around him, he went about his deals as if he didn't notice your presence. His stern tone was used toward you as often as it was toward everyone else.

If you didn't know him, you'd be sure that Kaz Brekker was a cold, indifferent bastard who was only interested in kruge and the future death of Pekka Rollins. Calculating and cruel and completely incapable of basic affections. But in reality it was very different. The trick was not to take Kaz for an ordinary guy and not to see him as such. His difficult past had made him wear such armor that it had time to blend into his skin over the years.

In those moments when anyone else would have approached you with caring questions and a warm hug if you were suddenly hurt during the heist, Kaz would limit himself to a brief worried look, though later he would definitely comb down the person you were paired with. You once accused him of being incapable of showing any emotions, but you later realized that the Barrel had hardened him to show it in the most inconspicuous way possible, so as not to put you in any danger. Only the Saints know what Pekka or anyone else would have done to you if they had known about the secret feelings Kaz had for you.

When Wylan revealed that he knew a Healer, everyone took it with great enthusiasm. Even Kaz saw it as a good sign, and it made everyone feel a little more at ease about the tasks ahead, though you remembered to remind Crows to be careful. You could heal a lot, but it wasn't always instantaneous and serious wounds could take a couple of weeks to fully heal. The bigger problem was someone else's stubbornness - Jesper would drag himself to you almost every day with any simple cut, while Matthias or Kaz would literally have to be persuaded.

— I want to help. Let me, please.

Despite the soft shell, the authoritative tone was no deception to Kaz. He sighed heavily and, after a little hesitation, pulled off his jacket, ignoring the flash of pain around his shoulder. Who would have thought that Pekka's secretary was so good with knives?

— You're not supposed to be here, Y/n. He'll be looking for you. Did Pim let you in? — the curt speech was the proof of how much effort Brekker was making to hold back a painful groan and, God forbid, admit that he really needed some help.

You were bound to Anderson with an indenture and officially worked at one of his clubs along with the other Grishas. He was a part of the Merchant Council and was involved in key decisions regarding politics and trade in Ketterdam, which, however, did not stop him from accepting bribes, being under the wing of Pekka and running a real brothel in his club. Many men were really interested in spending the night with Grisha, though more often they ended up asking the girls to demonstrate their skills.

— Anderson is having a party tonight, along with a bunch of other great merchants. And you obviously knew that, since you'd snuck into Pekka's club, counting on the fact that he'd be among the other guests and his office would be empty. Why didn't Nina feel the heartbeat of the guards? — you were tired of the distance between you, so you approached first, gently helping to undo the buttons on Kaz's blood-soaked shirt. Your eyes tried desperately to catch his, but Brekker stubbornly looked away, trying to control the panic that was building up. Close bodily contact was still difficult for him, though his was making definite progress with your help.

— The Fabricator. Someone had worked on the office door, turning it into a veritable safe, through which it is impossible for Grisha to feel or hear anything. Someone from Dregs had told Pekka about our future attack.

Kaz looked angry, but you understood that he had already passed the stage of frustration with his subordinates and so was calculating his options as to who might had done it. His sharp mind was constantly at work, and it was clearly to his advantage now, since it distracted him from realizing how close your fingers were to his body. Phantom heat could already be felt, but it was nothing compared to what he was going to feel later.

You had tried some things before. Intimacy might have been expressed in different ways, but gradually you raised the degree higher and higher. Kaz was getting used to your presence more and more and it allowed him to push his boundaries a little further. Recently you were even able to spend the night in the same bed, separated only by the thin fabric of your pajamas. Before his trauma Kaz was a particularly tactile child, and you hoped to bring him back to that at least a little, showing him that physical touch didn't always have to be accompanied by pain and panic.

You remembered perfectly your first kiss. How timid and cautious it was at first. How desperate and greedy it became later, until a wave of anxiety swept over Kaz and made him pull away first. He focused on avoiding you for a whole week after that and was pretty sure that you were disappointed in his ability to control himself or that you were angry because of his attitude toward touching and the fact that he couldn't give you something normal. However, you managed to change his mind and you continued to take steps toward each other, guided by your growing feelings.

— None of that matters now. You took the papers you wanted, and I'll heal your wounds. We'll deal with everything else in the morning, okay? — you smiled encouragingly, and then you gently stepped closer, your fingers caressing Kaz's bare left side, trying to bind the broken ribs together. Your attentive gaze was fixed on Kaz's face the whole time, assessing and comparing, so that you could instantly catch the moment when the panic of too close contact would occupy his mind again.

— Will you stay? — Kaz finally stopped pretending that his brave solitude on that night was more appealing to him than your support.

— If you behave yourself, sweetheart.

You pulled his shirt aside and examined more closely many bruises and cuts that studded Kaz's torso. The open wound on his right shoulder demanded your attention first, so you gently nudged Kaz toward the bed so that he could sit on it and give you more space. As you worked, you couldn't stop gazing at him, admiring him openly, and your free palm lightly touched his hair, brushing back the strands that had fallen to his forehead. Tenderness filled your heart, and a wandering smile appeared on your lips that didn't escape Kaz's attention.

He liked these moments of comfort with you, and he expressed it in his own way, deciding to take the initiative and slowly run his fingertips from your knee up your thigh. You were standing almost between his legs and the height difference you created gave him an advantageous opportunity. Touching you was still new to Kaz, but the mind-fogging desire was too great and, at certain moments, overpowered any panic. And that's why he gently wrapped his arm around your wrist and pulled you toward him to make you sit on his lap, facing each other even closer.

— It's good you weren't there in his office. If Pekka finds out you're working with me, he'll definitely tell Anderson. They're great friends, it wouldn't cost him anything to get your indenture to himself, — Kaz' eyes were filled with pure hatred, and some part of you was glad it wasn't meant for you.

— You could buy me out. That way I would belong only to you.

— You already belong only to me, Y/n, — Kaz said confidently, in a wave of ghostly jealousy, not even paying attention to the fact that your palm moved to his face, healing his cheekbones from the horrible bruises.

— Only at night. You only claim me here, among these confined four walls, when no one can see or hear us, — you shrugged briefly, getting rid of the sadness in your voice. It would be foolish to expect a man like Kaz to drop everything and leave for a peaceful life. Ketterdam, power and the pursuit of money was everything to him. — Sometimes it takes an effort to remind myself of that during the day, when I don't know if I can see you again because people on streets are about to break the news of your death after another fight or because Anderson will sell me out to someone else.

It was harder to hear about it than to just know it and keep it in the back of his mind. You were the fairest and most beautiful girl for Kaz, the person he truly wanted to protect from everything and care about, and he was sickened by the thought that someone could take you away or hurt you somehow. The words swirled on his tongue, burning with its despair, and he needed to do something to hold on to that moment and cling to you, to prove that the only thing real now was you, your caressing touches erasing the painful sensation from his skin, and the heat of life itself that emanated from you.

The few times before all your kisses had come from you. Kaz had found it easier to accept touch than to touch himself, but now the need to be with you made him go with his urges, so his palm gripped your waist, pulling you closer, and his lips covered yours so hastily, as if he feared it was the last thing he would ever have time and ability to do in his life. But kissing him was still extremely satisfying.

So much that the desire instantly settled in your blood and made you more pliable. Your tongue slid playfully along his, and a convulsive, loud exhalation became yours in common. You unconsciously buried your fingers in his hair and pulled stronger, causing Kaz to moan briefly right into the kiss before he slowly pulled away with a completely shaken look and a bright smile and a glint in his eyes. And in that moment he looked a hell of a lot like his usual self, just a guy spending time with the girl he loved, and their only problem was not the prospect of death at the hands of rival gangs, but the question of whether they'd locked the door.

Although Kaz Brekker had another question stashed away — would you agree to wear that ring he bought for you so you could remember him and his feelings at all times?

Part 2

#kaz brekker #six of crows #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader

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