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poppadom0912 · 1 year

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Money, Money, Money

Characters: Connor Rhodes x Reader, Maggie, Will

Warnings: Canon-typical injuries, overbearing/toxic parents, lots of violence, pregnancy.

Summary: Having money doesn't entitle you to anything. Why don't your parents understand that?

A/N: Haven't written for Connor in a lonnnggg time so here I am. I have mixed feelings about this but enjoyyyy. Posting this today in commemoration of my twin cousins turning one.

*****

Today was just so jam-packed in the ED that it was ridiculous.

One minute, your treating a woman whose half conscious from a car accident and the next your being handed a John Doe who is better off dead than hooked to a bunch of expensive machines.

You were always on your feet, not even having a second to yourself to sit down on a chair at the nurses station. It also really didn't help that Med had been handed a fresh new bunch of students who were all around the place, not knowing what they were doing.

Ripping off your gloves you deeply exhaled, closing your eyes as you stood in the middle of the ED. Everything around you was still a mess but all you needed was two minutes to collect yourself before-

"Doctor Rhodes, Doctor Y/L/N, you're on!" Maggie shouted from across the emergency room, sending you her most apologetic smile while she shrugged, having no control over what happened which you knew and definitely didn't blame her for.

Hastily grabbing what felt like your millionth pair of latex gloves, you assisted the paramedics and Connor wheeling the stretcher into a treatment bay, transferring on his count.

Everything was as it usually was, working together to stabilise the patient who was only half alert. From a mile away, you could smell the stench of alcohol, letting everyone know of what led the man to his current situation. Rolling your eyes, you stepped away from the gurney, allowing a few nurses and orderlies wheel the now unconscious man for an mri.

Aggressively, you ripped of your gloves, chucking it into the bin, Connor following suit, chuckling at your sour face. The only good thing you had going for you right now was having a five minute lie in with your fiance early this morning. Five minutes wasn't long at all but it was all you and peanut needed to fuel you for the long 24-hour shift ahead of you.

Right, you still had another 18 hours left till you could go home. Just flipping perfect.

You felt like collapsing, your body exhausted but the sickly people of Chicago relied on you. With a quick departing kiss on the forehead, squeezing your hand several times, you watched with warmness in your chest as your very attractive man ran off in those very nice black scrubs.

*****

It was an honest to god miracle that everything slowed down. You finally got to sit down, even managing to have a quick snack before checking in on patients. There was also the regular conversation over your baby, all the doctors and nurses betting on the gender while your closest friends pretended they weren't up for potential godparents.

You decided to do a quick round, going around to see if your patients were up and moving, if not then you'd offer your service somewhere it was needed.

At some point during the day, you lost track of how many people came in meaning you forgot who had what and who they were. With a tablet in hand, you scrolled through the man's chart, humming to yourself as you familiarised yourself with both his medical history and his current state, remembering what happened when you saw his blood alcohol levels.

What you failed to notice, too busy reading, was the man who you now know was called Nick was slowly coming to. Not a peep came out of him, blinking as he looked around the room, you being the last thing he noticed.

It all happened so fast from what you could recollect. All of a sudden, he sat up, not even groaning in pain from the several injuries he sustained while drunk and high.

"Nick, I'm a doctor, your in a hospital. No one's going to hurt you." You tried assuring him, jumping back when he lurched forward, forcing himself to stand, his unstable legs holding all of his weight. "You hurt yourself okay? You mind getting back into the bed?"

Despite your gentle and understanding tone, your bedside manner being top notch, Nick didn't even consider listening to you. You could almost see the flaming red flash across his eyes but before you could do anything, he came towards you.

With such a fury, his hand gripped your neck tightly, pushing you against the medicine cupboard that only this room had. Repeatedly, he pushed you into the glass door which shattered upon impact.

Gasping, you tried kicking your feet out but unfortunately for you, your short stature was not helping you were held inches above the ground. Scratching at his hand, your nails digging into his skin, he wouldn't let go.

You were incoherent, not even managing to shout or scream from the extreme pressure against your throat. Inhaling through your nose, you screwed your eyes shut when you saw a blurry fist flying towards you.

Everything was happening so fast but all of a sudden, you could breathe, air entering your lungs like a tsunami but before you could recollect yourself, not even letting your brain register that you were dropped to the floor, you were once again picked up and smashed against the sliding glass doors.

The glass broke on impact, shattering into small shards almost like crystals. Your cries were broken, the punches rolling one after the other.

*****

After having a quick surgery consult, assuring a patient that this surgery would happen, Connor was content. It was finally his lunch and he wasn't needed anywhere which meant that he could see his beautiful fiancée. Hopefully, you could spare a few minutes and he could check up on you and his baby.

The ED was much more quiet, almost too quiet in comparison to the chaos it was drowning in over an hour ago. Whistling, he leaned his arms against the nurses desk, giving Maggie his most dashing smile that all the girls of Chicago swooned over.

"Your fiancée is in six, give her five minutes." She said without taking her eyes off her brick, knowing exactly what the surgeon wanted without him even having to ask.

Before Connor could thank the charge nurse, he was interrupted by the deafening sound of glass shattering, his head whipping around to the source of the sound.

It was when it flashed in his mind that the room with the now shattered door was treatment six that Connor ran towards the mess.

Will and Ethan also came running forward, the two of them pulling Nick away from you while Connor shielded you as best as he could from any further harm.

"Y/N? Honey, you with me?" Connor asked, taking note of your fluttering eyelids and your cracking groan. He held you in his arms, feeling around the back of your head, his fingers coated in your blood.

Lifting you onto a gurney without any help, you were wheeled into a separate treatment room, Connor not once leaving your side and no one tried to pry him away knowing that it would only further anger him.

"Connor?" You tried calling out, struggling to keep your eyes open. "The baby..."

"Is fine, wasn't hurt at all." Connor sighed in relief, handing back the ultrasound wand to a nurse once he was happy with the sight of your baby who was alive and kicking.

Will nodded at Connor, letting him know everything that he needed. Picking up the railing on the side of the gurney, Connor wasn't leaving your side, wheeling wheel you up for an mri.

"You're going to be just fine."

*****

Coming to was more painful than you wanted it to be but because of the growing life inside your womb, you could only take so much medication which you knew and understood but you couldn't help curse out whoever was up there watching everything.

"The baby?" Was the first thing that came out. Your voice was hoarse, your throat aching as it strained from each syllable.

"Is alive and kicking." Connor nodded with a tight-lipped smile, helping you drink some water. "The lack of oxygen only hurt you, not peanut."

"Good, that's good." You closed your eyes, nodding in relief that no harm came to your baby because you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if they were hurt.

"You scared me." Connor whispered, enveloping your hand in both of his, not bothered by how cold you felt. "Don't ever do that again."

"I can't make any promises." You replied with remorse, wanting nothing more than to promise him but medicine was unpredictable, especially when mixed with drugs and alcohol. "I'll try my best though."

"And that's all I ask for." Connor smiled, pressing several kisses on your knuckles.

"Uh, you've got a few visitors anxiously waiting for you outside, what do you want me to do with them?" Your fiance asked, chuckling as he remembered the gaggle of doctors waiting outside in anticipation. They were all pretending to work but found themselves staring at the treatment room you were in.

But before you could answer with a yes, wanting nothing more than to see your friends, you cut off by the loud shout coming from outside the room, at the entrance of the ED. Unfortunately for you, you knew exactly who that voice belonged to.

"Where is my daughter?!" The voice near screamed, oozing with so much urgency that it made you feel sick. It was all so fake that even a stranger could see it.

You could only hear just how much of a commotion was being created outside your room, you and Connor shared a knowing glance, both of your mirroring the others annoyance.

Maggie's desperate attempts of steering the newcomers away from your room was useless. The doors and curtains were pulled opened and you were met with the apologetic faces of your friends and the furious faces of your parents.

"Oh my God, what happened to your face?!" Your mother said in alarm, rushing to your bedside as fast as she could in heels, her slim fingers gripping your chin to inspect all the visible damage to your face.

"Ow! Ma, that hurts!" You winced, pushing her hands away from your face, not wanting her to touch you anymore. "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

Your mother huffed, her dull eyes looking over at Connor, rolling her eyes at him before looking back over at you. "Where's your supervisor? You getting hurt isn't enough for your boss to come check on you?"

Before anyone could retort back, more than prepared to defend your boss, you were all stopped by a new presence that wasn't there before standing in the door.

"I'm glad that you could make it Mr and Mrs Y/L/N. I was worried you wouldn't make it taking into account your busy schedules." Ms Goodwin said, the sass dripping off her words, her smile welcoming but also smug. "If you could come with me to my office and we could talk specifics if you'd like?"

"I'd be perfect to do it right here actually." Your mother said, puffing out her chest with confidence she always had surrounding her. "You'll find our lawyers at your doorstep tomorrow morning with a lawsuit."

"What?!" You exclaimed, sitting up straight, ignoring your bruised and battered body screaming for you to stop moving. Despite all the pain, you were ready to throttle your parents.

As gently as he could, Connor pushed you back down without further causing your any pain. Ignoring your rolling eyes and your pout, he was relentless and succeeded in his doings. After doing so, he stood and glared at your parents.

"You mind if we talk outside, just the four of us?" Connor asked but it wasn't so much a question than it was a demand. Without waiting for a reply, your fiance held the door open for your parents and Ms Goodwin, sending the couple a tight lipped smile when they passed him.

“You have no right to be here.” Connor got straight to the point, not wanting to mess around when it came to you. Your parents were spoiled and entitled, thinking they could do whatever they wanted to whoever just because they had more money.

You’d long distanced yourself from them, no longer wasting your time wanting their approval and constant validation for every little thing you did. After years, you were free of their shackles but they always found a way to crawl back in.

This was one way they planned to become part of your life again.

“You will walk out of here, you will get rid of the press that I’m sure is waiting outside and you’re never going to show your faces here again because if you do, I’m not going to be as cordial.” Connor warned your parents, towering over your mother even with the heels she wore.

Your mother tutted, slowly shaking her head in disappointment. She was fully aware of the audience they had, all consisting of your true family and you boss standing to the side but some Rhodes man wasn’t going to get in the way of her achieving her goal.

“You are in no position to tell me what I can and can’t do. That’s my daughter, I gave birth to her.” Your mother fought back, not afraid to get into Connors face.

“Mrs Y/L/N, step away from my doctor.” Ms Goodwin said with authority, gently pushing Connor back. “Your not welcome in my hospital if your going to treat my doctors which such disrespect.”

Your mother scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief about they way she was being treated with such hostility. Something was clearly wrong here with how people took orders and did what they pleased.

“Now if you please leave, it’d be greatly appreciated.” Miss Goodwin said with finality, a smug smile on her lips when she realised she was getting her way.

Huffing, your mother burned holes into Connor, openly glaring at him, not hiding that she hated him. Scanning the room, her glare remained strong as her eyes landed on each doctor and nurse.

Giving Connor one last look from over her shoulder, you mother stormed out the ED, your father trailing behind her like the lost puppy he practically was at this point.

Everyone could breath easier, the air feeling lighter and less contaminated the second your parents left the ED. It was the biggest relief.

“Doctor Rhodes, please get back to your fiancée.” Miss Goodwin turned to the surgeon, giving him a very simple order that he wouldn’t object to.

Connor silently thanked his boss, smiling at her before coming back into your treatment room where you still sat, patiently waiting for your fiancé to come back.

“Do I even want to know what happened?” You asked, a small smile resting in your lips as you urged Connor to come forward and give you a hug.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about baby. Everything’s been dealt with.”

#connor rhodes #chicago med #onechicago #one chicago x reader #connor rhodes x you #connor rhodes x reader #connor rhodes imagine #chicago med x reader #conner rhodes #connor rhodes oneshot

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siremasterlawrence · 10 months

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Henry Cavill has felt quite off for the longest time getting on his motorcycle he rides off in to the desert just blasting through the area as if he is in a race.

Story request by @male-meat-suit

Someone always feels like they beside him one way or the other he can’t escape it so he might as well make a run for it as far as he can go.

Henry checking his area through the mirror can help himself because every once in a while he keeps seeing a stranger in the view mirror.

Unfortunately for him he has no idea what

is to come this day the more he revs up the motorcycle getting him hard this should not be happening.

The power of the motorcycle revs up in even more roaring in to the road as he speeds in to the desert and the gas from the pipe blows up.

The motorcycle starts to glow blowing up in a shiny silver color channeling in to his body Henry does not know why but there is a true reverb happening.

A pair of arms reach on to him grabbing and groping him as he squirms on the seat he is in a sea of madness as his aura is now on a sexual high.

Suddenly, his body is losing absolute control every action, thought and motion is a totally robotic and he is no longer in control of his body.

A woosh or power rushes coming up from the bottom of feet shoots up in to the nerves occupying his body inside him he can feel a another soul.

His mind is spinning a figure in back of his mind a new figure standing alone in a dark shadowy figure looming over him growing stronger by the second.

“DAMN IT! Why this feeling go?”

“And what is with the glint?”

“A mirror trick?”

“BLAST”

“Calm down”

“Let me stop here and grab some water “

“I can’t help this feeling”

“Is someone watching me”

“Creepy “

“My head is spinning”

“Uuuugggghhhh!”

“Oh God!”

“Why am I so hard?”

“About to cum”

“FUCK”

“I am in control now”

“Who are you ?”

“Relinquish your body to me”

“Nnnooo Ssstttoooppp!”

His blue revels with a surge of electrical red bloody currents causing his cock to shoot cum through his pants instantly getting harder.

The pain pricking him causing him to soar, grow stiff and hard as they become totally immobile losing his balance he crashes to the floor.

His head spins blacking out in to semi aware drop in to unconsciousness with his body in a catatonic state of nothingness and black bleakness spreads.

Awakening in this space he lifts himself up in to the sky he sees the man an unimportant guy so unimpressive young guy with no muscle.

His super level definition of height he is now overshadowing the nerdy young man’s who stares at him with no fear or worry to his deflation.

In real time his body aimlessly his body is back on his feet checking out the area to see no cars coming and begins to strip off his clothes.

His hands digging under his shirt letting the sun shine on bus washboard abs throwing it to the side and his hands on his bely is next it’s sexy.

He hates this deep need to be used, lusted after and watched as the man is overtaking him it’s disgusting to me and it’s the stupid ridiculous.

The belt slides off, pants are unbutton and zipper drawn and it’s no more privacy from here. The pants are off leaving nothing but ones imagination.

Striking a pose he props up his cellphone on a display of rocks as he poses for a multiple sets of showcasing his body and even does a video recording.

“Hey I am Henry Cavill, I am fine, and vain.”

“I would never say that..you are liar”

“We can’t here you “

“Mwahahahahaha “

“The heat is killing me”

“And I am hot”

“It’s my body “

“Not anymore “

“Fuck! I won’t let you “

“As if you have a choice “

“I do…I one hundred percent do”

“You have no power here “

“Welcome to the sub space!”

“Hey baby”

“You want this pretty ass”

“I am free”

“To be with you and you “

“Of course you “

“Why am loving this?”

“I am fading! No! Let me go! I want my life…I”

“Bye bye”

“Mwahahahahaha “

“Motherfucking pussy bitch”

Henry Cavill disappears inside his own mind he fell in to swirl submission.

The end

#henry cavill #leather jacket #desert #possession #ghost #body possession #spirit

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headspace-hotel · 2 years

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if you live in kentucky and its possible for you to do so, please, please fucking vote. tell your friends and family to vote. this abortion amendment makes an already ridiculously extreme abortion law even worse. if you can, if you're able, talk to people.

current law allows no exceptions for rape or incest and allows exceptions based on risk to the pregnant person's life only under very extreme, limited circumstances.

under current kentucky law, a child who is raped by a pedophile will be forced to give birth even if her body is not yet fully mature and she has a highly elevated risk of complications and death. a person suffering severe mental illness controlled by medications that are incompatible with a healthy pregnancy will be forced to endanger her life for that pregnancy (mental illnesses are explicitly not considered exceptions).

Childbirth literally always carries with it a risk of death and severe injury, and takes months to heal from. It permanently damages the body. It is a commonplace part of childbirth to have your vagina tear open to the point of needing to be stitched back together. Show me the Republican politician that is willing to let me take a pair of scissors to his genitals, and then we'll talk.

A forced pregnancy is an intimate violation of a person's body. If it is illegal to penetrate someone's physical body against their will, it should not be acceptable to legally require someone to let someone grow inside them for 40 weeks, with a high chance of severe injury and permanent damage to their body. In every other case, a person is legally allowed to protect themselves from this level of physically injurious bodily violation and harm.

The above contributes to the fact that 9% of women develop PTSD after giving birth. Women who have been raped or assaulted have an elevated risk of being re-traumatized by the birth—and that's only if they have a history of that trauma. If the pregnancy is itself a product of rape, the hell you are forcing upon this person by denying them control over the most intimate parts of their body in the most intense, long-lasting, excruciatingly painful way possible, is a torture no person should experience.

People think abortion "kills a child." Do you know what kills a child? Forcing her to give birth to her rapist's baby. And unlike the fetus, this child is a conscious, feeling being capable of experiencing fear and pain. It is monstrous to regard the welfare of something that is not sentient as more important.

There is a REASON women throughout history have stabbed themselves with knitting needles, forced sharp metal objects into their bodies, thrown themselves down stairs, and ingested poison to cause abortions. They knew they might kill themselves, and for them, that was better than being forced to give birth.

There are women right now in the state of Kentucky trapped in abusive marriages who are desperate to prevent a child from being born into a situation where they will be physically, emotionally and sexually abused. There are girls with abusive boyfriends who will use a pregnancy to trap her and prevent her from escaping.

People don't go out and have abortions for fun. And going over their reasons with a fine-toothed comb will get people killed, because desperation has driven people to kill themselves with dangerous attempts at abortion, and it will again.

If you live here, talk to people. Say this. Copy and paste it if you want, because this is what I've found hits with people. Get people to face pregnancy and birth as a real and dangerous process that happens to humans instead of something magical and abstract. Talk about abuse and rape, talk about the blood painted on the hands of every person who fights to block off the last way out for girls and women trapped in horrible, abusive situations. Get people uncomfortable. Say what you think will get through.

If you can convince even one single person who would not otherwise have voted to vote, you've doubled the impact you otherwise would have had.

Things are already so bad here, and we cannot let them get worse.

#vote #abortion #rape tw #child rape tw #forced pregnancy tw #pregnancy tw #kentucky

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the-void-writes · 1 month

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For Riley!! 🎮📚🩹🎶🔺🌈🍎💔💘😊!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH 😁💖 I’M SO HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT THIS KID

Here’s some references for Riley. Credit to Wervty and Naylissah on Picrew for the images

🎮 What are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

Riley loves guitar and wants to learn how to play it. He also likes exercise, even if Rio’s training gets ridiculous or excessive. To everyone’s surprise, he shows a lot of interest in studying health and medicine. Avery makes him his unofficial apprentice.

📚 What level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

Vesely has a school program for patients, so technically Riley is still getting a high-school education. The last official schooling he had was in junior-high.

🩹 Does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

I’m not sure if it counts, but since his powers generate large amounts of electricity, it scars his arms and damages the nerves. Too much use of it also starts to affect his heart.

That’s why Riley and Thomas work so well together. Thomas’ phasing means that when they touch him, the electricity can move through his body without hurting him, but he also had less control over it.

🎶 What type of music does your oc like? Do they listen to music very often?

Lots of alternative rock, stuff he can turn on during training and headbang to. He also loves the older rock that Jason listens to like Venus Wonder (the Freaks-universe equivalent of the band Queen).

🔺 Does your oc know how to use any weapons?

Aside from his powers, which generate strands of electricity, Rio teaches him how to use a staff as a conduit while he fights.

🌈 What is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? What pronouns do they use?

Riley is bisexual and transgender, the latter of which he is very defensive about. He won’t tolerate being called anything other than “he/him.”

🍎 Where was your oc born? Do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? How do they feel about their birthplace?

Riley was born in a small town somewhere around Preston (I haven’t come up with a name lol). He hates everything about that town, from the school that bullied him, to the church that called him a demon, to the childhood home where his mother called him horrible names and forced him to wear dresses and regularly called the cops to have someone take this kid away. Thankfully, Jason and Rio were the ones to rescue him, and he’ll never have to see that town again.

💔 What are three of your oc's negative traits?

Riley is incredibly defensive to the point where he starts fights that aren’t necessary. He’s so used to pain and having his heart broken that he lashes out the minute he thinks someone is going to hurt him.

He can be grumpy, even with friends. Kevin lives and breathes to pester him, and though their banter is mostly playful, there are times where Riley says something hurtful. He always apologizes later.

He has little respect for grown-ups or authority figures. There have been days where this highly-powerful and rightfully-angry teenage boy has hospitalized trained officers by electrocuting them. The only adults he trusts are Jason and Henry, and eventually his adoptive parents (Avery gets a pass because he’s still technically a college graduate).

💘 What and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

His friends are the most important things in his life. They welcomed him, supported him, and loved him when his family refused to. He says he would kill a man for them, even though he doesn’t really want to.

This also becomes true for his adoptive family. He doesn’t trust them to stay, at first, but he grows to love them dearly.

😊 What are your oc's career/general life desires? What do they want to get the most out of life?

Riley wants to be a doctor. Ever since Jason mentioned it as an option, ever since he showed faith that Riley could help people, Riley’s wanted to follow that path. He never thought he was capable of anything other than destruction, and now he wants to live up to the hope that Jason gave him.

#writeblr #ask games #writeblr ask game #wip: freaks of preston

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autumn-solitude · 3 months

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Killer cheerfully kicked in Cross’ door in lieu of knocking, thinking it’d been some time since he’d last gotten on the uptight bastard’s nerves. Knife at the ready, Killer strolled inside the bedroom, but whatever words he was going to say were lost when he saw that Cross wasn’t there; just his clothing on the bed. Killer would have missed the motion under the clothes if he hadn’t been scrutinizing the weirdness of the outfit being without its owner.

Curiously, Killer reached out and shifted the ridiculous layers of clothing aside. Seeing nothing, Killer flicked back the stupid fluffy hood. He stared down at a tiny creature that looked like one of those worms on a string that he annoyed others with years ago. This one was alive, with a fuzzy black body with white colored X-marks along the middle of the body, and a white head with big black eyes. One red light in one eye and white within the other. There was a big fuzzy white ruff around the neck of the creature, its long snout indicating that it was currently turning its head.

Killer picked the critter up by its scruff with thumb and forefinger, causing the critter to flail four tiny little limbs just beneath the scruff, its fuzzy tail swinging in alarm. The tail diverted to jab Killer in the back of the hand with a hidden blade at the tip of the tail. Killer ignored the tiny sting of pain and held the string worm creature to socket level. A gleeful, disbelieving grin hitched up as Killer caught sight of the little scar beneath the right eye. “Cross!?” The little thing let out a tiny squeaky noise but there was no mistaking the Check. This was Cross, all right. Weirder things had happened, but this was certainly high up on the list.Cross bared tiny fangs when Killer shifted him from one side to the other. Cute, that he thought that would be intimidating at the slightly bigger size of a worm on the stiring toy.

#string worm creature #undertale au #cross sans #killer sans #random snippet #still not over this idea #bad sanses

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thesinglesjukebox · 14 days

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HOZIER - "TOO SWEET"

youtube

I believe when that happens you can add something acidic to the dish to balance it out (lemon juice, vinegar, blurbs, etc.)...

[5.15]

Hannah Jocelyn: “Feel It Still” once more, with less feeling! [5]

Leah Isobel: This is not sexy! This is the audio equivalent of that one twig-looking Tumblr daddy dom wearing his uncle's work shirt! This is the most desperate balding guy at the bar hitting on you! He's never taken a sip of straight whiskey without grimacing and his hair grows out in patches! He listens to that first Fleet Foxes record alone in his apartment and cries because he never made it as a cool Brooklyn folkie when that was a viable career path! Get a real job! [2]

Alfred Soto: I have never wanted to smell like a bonfire -- that shit just happens if you're in the woods and the rules allow you to make one -- so I don't know what this purring panderer is on about other than using verbal aikido on his lover. On the other hand, the bass line grooves. That this stew topped the American chart says something about novelty. [5]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Far too confident in its bassline. It's high in the mix and clearly meant to carry the song, but it's just kind of ugly? At first it's manageable: the arrangement quietly blossoms so that every instrument hangs off it like a flower on a branch. And then it becomes too much: we move from one passage to the next with little care for dynamics, as if all that matters is the dun dun dun, dun dun dun. [3]

Mark Sinker: Pretty grumpy the currently active TayTay energy field is requiring me to pay greater attention than normal to the words in a song (any attention at all): “You treat your mouth as if it’s Heaven’s Gate / The rest of you like you’re the TSA!” Old-times Hozier leant instead into a bunch of the most over-known jazz cuts as a signal-shortcut; better by far to be invoking weirdo space death-cults and oppressive govt security agencies to make yr little point -- you’re hot for a rules-loving gal! proud outlaw that you utterly are! “You can sit in a barrel!’ And OK, the serenely self-absorbed clumsiness is actually the same thing either time, his narcistic unawareness the whole of this vocal, but at least this couplet has the free pass of inadvertent opacity. The Hale-Bopp don’t stop! [4]

Taylor Alatorre: Who wrote these lyrics, the Women's Christian Temperance Union circa 1905? Back then, the narrator of "Too Sweet" would've been a cautionary poster child for the domestic discord caused by excessive drink. But we're in a post-21st Amendment world now, and the more pressing social ill at hand... is that my girl doesn't want to party all the time. It's such a ridiculous premise that it has an unlikely liberatory effect, freeing Hozier from his endemic dourness and letting him play as the lovable asshole, whose assholishness is thankfully of the low-stakes, take-it-or-leave-it kind. The mandatory blues-rock inflections are smoothed out to the point of being rubberized, a snub to purism that proves a suitable match for Hozier's role as the all-too-tamable sort of danger. None of this negates the song's fundamental slightness, but the clever-stupid "TSA" line indicates that slightness might have been what he was aiming for anyway. [6]

Ian Mathers: I mean, obviously it's both fine on its own (if not particularly spectacular) and also weird that this and not "Take Me to Church" is his first #1, but I'm sorry, I just can't get over there being a hit song that finally speaks proudly for those of us that have trouble falling asleep at a so-called "civilized" hour (although honestly even 3 is a bit early, if I really had my druthers). [6]

Harlan Talib Ockey: To be a Hozier fan is to know pain. One set of bonus tracks better than their parent album is a shame. Two is a migraine. Three starts to feel like sabotage, on some level. Is he or his label so averse to rockin’ out that his most interesting, guitar-heavy tracks are almost always relegated to B-sides? Justice for “In the Woods Somewhere”. Whither “Jackboot Jump”, which never even got a studio recording? “Too Sweet” may not have Hozier’s most intricate lyrical storytelling, but it does have a clear narrative, a strong vocal performance, and an infectious bassline. And I feel vindicated seeing one of his lost rock songs succeed, which is the important part. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: Producer Bekon cannot be stopped. He has summoned the power of Sergiu Gherman (Garden (Say It Like Dat)), Peter Gonzales ("Leave") and Chakra, ("Bali"). Now he has notched a number one hit. Bekon is unstoppable right now. Stop playing with his name. [10]

Daniel Monteshenko: "Hell yeah, another smash hit!" - people making playlists for second-rate denim emporiums [3]

Isabel Cole: Is it really so crazy to posit that a song about an unrepentant appreciation for the earthy side of earthly existence should, I don’t know, fuck a little? What’s even the point of a paean to late nights that would slot seamlessly into any coffee shop’s opening hours playlist? Where’s the hunger in this ode to appetites? Where's the life in the call to live? And what in god’s name is that TSA line supposed to mean? I mean, I know, it’s connoting constant vigilance about what’s allowed to enter, but the phrasing calls to mind someone who insists on doing a pat-down before sex. Similarly, the grape line that appears in the final verse suggests that the titular “too sweet” is supposed to convey a certain untouched freshness, or a lack of life experience, but placing it in the chorus right after a line about black coffee sets up an implied contrast that makes the metaphor feel like it’s breaking, because, like, be serious: we all know the my-body-is-a-temple crowd has been off sugar for years. [4]

Katherine St. Asaph: I said last month that this sounded like a Danger Mouse take on "Be My Baby," and I stand by that! You don't have to believe a word of this song to recognize the appeal in that. [6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Hozier back to doing what he does best: making songs designed to soundtrack fancams of fictional vampires. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#hozier #music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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vampstel · 9 months

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Hi Nick! I'm wondering what's your current opinion on Royale High now that the new Campus is out?

Ouh… I have a lot to say so bare with me lol

I’ve been enjoying the new campus a lot but I can’t deny there are still many flaws within Royale High that should be addressed. The biggest issue I have so far are the dorms. The dorms are not at all beginner friendly OR free-to-play friendly. I spent well over 500,000 diamonds on my dorm which is a ridiculous amount... And not only that, my game crashes if I join a public dormitory server.

You could argue and say it’s faster to level up now but that doesn’t negate the fact you only get 300 diamonds per level without gamepasses. That is not enough to get anything and it makes grinding way too tedious and painful. This is an opinion I’ve had ever since and it’s upsetting that they aren’t doing anything about it.

The level up rewards are great but I do believe a lot of them are unnecessary or simply not worth it. I have gained around 500 levels so far in the new campus and half the rewards I’ve gotten are save slots for lockers. I recently got the award to resize stickers and considering stickers are a gamepass, some people won’t even be able to use it. I was expecting the rewards to be diamond multipliers to make grinding easier for free-to-play players but nope!

The realms look beautiful though and the graphics are great. Animations incredible, the voice acting and the beginning cutscene make Royale High really stand out in comparison to other Roblox games. However,, the main campus/lobby itself looks very unpolished and has peculiar parts to it that make no sense but you could say it’s just apart of Royale High’s charm. The other campuses make no sense either lol

Overall, I think the new campus is wonderful but it’s not as good as people hyped it up to be. It’s not perfect, there’s a lot of flaws but It is a BIG improvement. There’s a lot of potential for the game to flourish if the developers play their cards right.

Hopefully the last few phases make the new campus feel more complete and polished. As soon as the game’s out of beta I’m definitely making a video reviewing it :P

#꒰ v’s answered asks ꒱#• about: royale high #Also I hope to god they rework the stolen assets from the legacy shop #Also hope they rework Cherry Blossom… It’s all I ask for lol

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inkofamethyst · 2 months

Text

March 8, 2023

No one would ever get this out of me irl but I very occasionally, at the peripheries of my thoughts wonder what might have been if I had agreed to go out with that guy from biochem. (Can you tell that Hadestown has had an effect? This is dizzying. Next thing you know I'm going to be begging to have a crush (but also I'm very picky about my crushes bc they can't be undergrads (lol tbf I'm only barely not an undergrad myself), they can't be in my department, and they have to be someone I see somewhat regularly (no passerby crushes)).) Because part of the reason I said no was fear and part of it was that I was in excruciating pain when we had that study date (mostly the fear though), and then there was also the whole being devastated about not getting to show off that solo that I worked really hard on. Bad vibes all around. But he wasn't a bad guy. I was just scared.

Even still, I can't seem to remember his name.

[edit, next day: I wrote the above last night and you would not believe the butterflies I got today when all I did was make eye contact with some (very attractive) dude before a class. Ridiculous. (I have the need to catch his eye again.) This is gonna be like bike-boy from junior year lol. Or the caving dude, also from junior year (literally who did I think I was, trying to go caving just to get close to a man??? Lowkey still wish I'd been able to get in on that trip, but alas).]

God, I really cannot dance. Was recently informed that alum from my undergrad uni would be restricted in their GDrive space so I went in and culled (will ultimately have to remove half of what I have stored) a bit. In early pandemic days there was some Broadway challenge (it was basically a big ad but it was fun and free (and very successful, incredibly marketed), so) where each week you'd have to take time to learn a song or dance or something and post it and I saved my dance video to my uni GDrive and it's AWFUL. Like the steps are all there, I can remember them (because I drilled it hard) but I'm so clunky lookin--it's dreadful. IT'S SO BADDD. (keep in mind it was newsies though so like it is bad but the choreo isn't helping either) But. If nothing else, I keep that smile on lock(down). I haven't watched any of the theatre tapes from high school but that doesn't make me excited to see them, beyond hating the recorded sound of me singing, bleh.

Found out what next year's stipend numbers are going to be and there's still literally no way I'd be able to make it work with my current savings rates (25% (also I'll be increasing my estimated taxes to 30% from 25%)) without help. It feels kind of weird to say this because I truly miss my grandmother so much like it's not even funny, but she's helping me so much right now.

Want to make a text-based, randomized, hunger-games-style battle royale game in python for my friends to play. In a different life, I think I could've been a game dev. Literally. Writing, music, computer science (I don't really do visual arts though). To be fair, like, there's nothing stopping me from trying. On the side, just for fun, coming up with minigames. I think I'd need to become like Brandon Sanderson though, where I relax by doing something (actually, now that I think about it, I'm not that far off, it's just that I don't have a ton of access to my favorite hobbies rn (music, sewing, etc)).

Today I'm thankful for how beautiful biology can be sometimes. I love how we find reflections of the same ideas at all levels!!! Recently I was thinking about multicellular organisms, and how they're just a bunch of different cell types that have different jobs with the goal of all working toward the greater good of staying alive together. And you don't just see this in things like animals! There are unicellular organisms that form colonies when times get tough, and they sometimes will even divide out work amongst themselves. And at the multi-organismal level, people banded together during those early days of covid to make sure the elderly were fed, that we were getting fitness classes, that we could see performances. And I know this is a basic idea in biology, but that doesn't stop it from being beautiful.

[edit: I finished all of my pre-spring break homework!!!! Let the breaking begin!!!!]

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hedge-rambles · 1 year

Text

A pair of delicate hands primly lifted the hem of her apricot-coloured crinoline, allowing a delicate and finely made boot to flash out with pinpoint accuracy at the knee of my colleague. She clearly hit her mark, y'know? That little patch just beside the kneecap where evolution saw fit to run a nerve marked "excruciating pain", seeing as how the other man collapsed into a little ball of wordless agony on the pavement. I turned back to her to see her rummaging in her small handbag. I took a step forward and then took another back immediately as she said "Ah, there it is!" and triumphantly withdrew a large hunting knife from the purse. A very large hunting knife. With a pink handle.

My mind focused, as minds often do in these moments, on the salient details, which mainly consisted of the very large knife now being levelled at me by the extravagantly dressed young woman. I panicked and said the first thing that came to my head, which turned out to be an incredulous "I'm sorry, did you match your knife handle to your dress?", an image of a lady's boudoir complete with a Knife For Every Occasion laid out playing across my mind's eye. "Don't be stupid" she snapped. "Apologies I thought-" "I chose the dress to go with the knife, of course"

Ah, I thought. We stood facing each other and I tried to assess the station. I was a lot larger than her, but she had an exceedingly large and very sharp looking knife. Which I didn't. After all, taking knifes on a job to bring in a petite, high society lady seemed like ridiculous overkill this morning. Now I was starting to think a cannon might be insufficient for dealing with her.

"I'm starting to think we may have been misinformed as to the…nature of this job, m'lady" I ventured "Yes, I rather believe you have. How about this then: I take my leave, you help your friend up and explain to your employer that he has sorely misrepresented the contract, rendering it null and void under the current fee structure" "That sounds equitable" I said, sweat beading on my forehead, "therefore I bid you a good evening" "Good evening. Oh, and I do apologise for this" she said, darting forward and jamming a hatpin into my arm before stepping smartly backwards with a swish of flouncy skirts. "What the fuck?" I said spinning around and clutching my forearm. The world kept spinning, which probably wasn't a good sign. "I really am very sorry about this, but if I've learnt one thing it's to never take chances on the honour of others. It'll wear off in about 15 minutes" she said, and I actually believed her. "Perfectly understamabable" I almost managed. I sat down on the ground next to my colleague - who'd had the wisdom and foresight to stay down this whole time - with my head in my hands, trying to stop it undulating so much.

As she swept away she called out one last thing: "The word you need to use is 'hazard pay', you should probably be charging Giovanni about five times your normal rate for trying to bring me in. Do tell him I say hi".

#microfiction #idk this came to me while I was trying to get back to sleep this morning

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dystopian-heathen · 10 months

Text

Rant incoming cause I’m pissed. And confused. And hurt, to be perfectly honest.

I’m seeing Aurelio Voltaire in September, in city X, and my friend Catie* immediately decided that she absolutely has to go with me. She’s never heard of AV before, and it’s definitely not her kind of music so I was genuinely surprised, but sure, whatever. I appreciate good company.

Vey recently, she met this guy named Bruce* from city Y, and she immediately became obsessed with him, as she has a tendency to do.

Now. She found out that AV plays in city Y as well, and tries to manipulate/guilt/pressure me into going there instead. “Well, if he’s playing Y as well I’m DEFINITELY not going to X.”

I love X, and have very painful memories connected with Y. Also, I don’t feel like having a concert ruined by her making heart eyes at her rebound, and watching her grope him all night. Not to mention we’d be staying at his place, which is another thing I’m not comfortable with.

I guess I just don’t understand it. She doesn’t care about AV, she currently barely cares about me. Seems like it’s become an excuse for Catie to see Bruce and shove him in my face (for some inexplicable reason she’s desperate for my approval in everything, but that’s a whole different story).

Wtf am I supposed to do?

Emotionally I feel like I’m overreacting and should be able to make sacrifices for my friend, but logically I know she’s being a selfish dick. I don’t know what to say, I don’t want to come off as confrontational, but I can’t believe she’s not seeing how ridiculous her demands are.

I refuse to plan my life around a guy I’ve never met, and only have been hearing about for 2 weeks.

It’s such a stupid high school level problem, but it’s weighing heavily on my mind, and I just can’t shake it.

*names changed for the sake of privacy. I guess.

#personal

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witchthewriter · 2 years

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Hi!! Here for the matchups!!

Level: 3

Fandoms: Stranger Things, Marvel and The Umbrella Academy.

Energetic af, also depressed?? My counsellor says I always look sad and unhappy, even angry sometimes. Um, smart but dense. Quite dirty minded at times. Lots of anger issues. Music tastes be random. (I love Metal and Rock, but got a small spot for sad/good hearted messages like Alamo, devil town, etc. and just random over songs too.)

Pansexual, she/her, absolutely love my birds (I got 2) and my dog sadie, only got like 1 friends, I shoot boxes in my backyard with a bow and arrow. Im a self taught skater (since I was 7-). I also own heelies. I hate drama, yet always get dragged into it. (I get into a lot of (physical) fights at school.)

Do not like my mom is putting it lightly. (Lots of mommy issues over here.) Have a randomly high pain tolerance. I laugh at pain, to make it worse? I built my my own treehouse?? I mean, my dad helped me take the crates apart for the wood but everything else was up to me. I can sew? Currently learning to crochet. LOVE Ghostbusters.

Ginger, white, lots of freckles, face, arms, shoulders and even a few on my lips. Greenish/blue eyes. Short mid neck-shoulder hair. All over the place nest of hair. Thick thighs and a little chubby. I weigh around 65kgs, which is 143 in pounds.

This got very long, lol

Thank you I’m advance!!

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋🌈

Um okay I absolutely love your introductory sentence. "Energetic af, also depressed?? My counsellor says I always look sad and unhappy." ITS A VIBE. I too look like I've stepped on a bee and hate everyone.

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

She was the first person who popped in my head when I read your message. She would absolutely love that you have such a twisted outlook on the world, and find solace in your trauma. She feels seen with you, and you bond so fiercely.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Sitting around her bedroom, talking about the most randomest topics because conversation is so easy. There’s nothing taboo or inappropriate with Robin. She loves talking about fricken EVERYTHING

・”Wanna go annoy Steve?” “Fck Yeah”

・ice cream ice cream ice cream ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!! she always wants to go get ice cream and usually ends up dripping it on herself

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

↬ Rebel Yell by Billy Idol

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔:

↬ Similar Personalities

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Bucky Barnes. I think he scares a lot of people off eventually because of his grumpy moods. But you found it endearing. He knows he can open up to you, and you can do the same with him.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Bucky LOVES banter. When you guys first met, he said a few comments and thought in his head, “shit, they probably freaked ‘em out” but you gave it right back

・You like to show him stuff he’s missed out on. His favourite things that you’ve introduced him to are Ghostbusters and croqueting

・Will pick you up and throw you over his shoulder...

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

↬ Black Dog by Led Zepplin

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔:

↬ Initially Distant But Mutual Yearning

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐲

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Klaus Hargreeves! I think he would find a way to make you smile. Your mind seems to quiet whenever Klaus is around, he has this ability to make all issues seem small.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Loves to read to you, and not only books. He’ll just start reading things out loud and getting sad when you aren’t listening to him

・Likes the sound of you laugh, and will do anything to hear it

・Petnames are absolutely ridiculous: “sugar pie”, “sweet cheeks,” “giggle-gurt”, “honey-pie”

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

↬ From Ritz To Rubble by Arctic Monkeys

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔:

↬ Tragic Past x Ray of Light (works both ways!)

#match ups #ships

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mayhemandtrouble · 1 year

Text

Not Giving Up: Chapter 10

Full Chapter and Story on Ao3 with detailed tags “Rey, have you been to the med bay recently?” Ben asked gently, crouched behind Rey as she braced herself over a barrack’s toilet. Or his private one, depending on whose perspective you were looking at it from. It all meshed together bizarrely anyway.

“I went after I got burned because you were all riding my butt.” She answered once the woman could catch her breath. Whimpering and propping her head up with her hands, unable to care about the various unpleasantries lurking on the shared seat at the micro level. Rey was currently on the floor and had been vomiting off and on for five minutes, while Ben gently stroked her back and held her hair back. Her shattered dignity was more pressing than any germs.

“It was appreciated. That was months ago.” Ben quickly hit the button for the waste to move through the system, the first and likely only time he was grateful to not be there in person. This was the second time in the last few days she’d frantically stumbled to the vacc tube that he knew of. Knowing her it was entirely possible that there were more occasions and she wasn’t sharing them.

“And?”

“And you’ve been nauseous for days. Does Leia know about this?” He doubted it. Rey hadn’t explicitly said that his Mother was her Master but he’d observed enough over the past few months to put the pieces together. And his mother was less patient than he was when it came to things like this.

“She’s busy.” Rey groaned, spitting the taste out of her mouth and finally pushing herself up. “I’ve got a bug, that’s all. I’m used-”

“To surviving with less, you’ve said.” He sighed, bracing her arm to ease her standing. One arm around her waist as she made her way to the sink. She’d just finished breakfast and had been about to start training but she hadn’t been feeling well from the start. He could tell by her appearance. She hadn’t bothered to cross her wraps into place, instead pulling on snug cream pants, matching shirt and a muted blue vest with a hood tugged over her head. Her belt was nestled correctly at her hips but her hair was pulled back into an uncharacteristically sloppy ponytail, clearly an afterthought on her way out. Not that he was much more put together - he’d been in the midst of dressing when they began talking, and he’d abandoned his efforts once she began being sick. Ben was half in his armor and his cape only partly fastened - dragging most ridiculously. “You hardly need to any longer.”

“Ben, I’m not in the mood to argue with you.” She braced herself on the counter. A long row of metal sinks that had probably been stainless at one time. Whatever had gotten into the metal left it discolored and a little warped in places. A wide strip of reflective material along the wall served as a mirror that was more for checking armor fittings than primping. Polished to a high reflection in the middle but with a thin strip of grime and gross around the edges and corners. She looked greener than a damn Rodian.

“Excellent. Go to the med bay.” Ben’s eyes watched her in the mirror, taking stock of her condition. He couldn’t gauge her temperature well through the connections but she didn’t seem to be running or a fever, nor did she complain of pains. Only severe but intermittent nausea. She assured him she hadn’t eaten anything strange and, even if she had, it should have run its course by now or at least be showing signs of abating. Or getting much worse. The most obvious was impossible - surely.

“You’re overreacting.” Grumbling as she turned on the cold water full force and splashed her face. His concern was touching but unreasonable. Rey had made it through all number of conditions through her childhood and the rest of her life on her own, with little access to medical help. Trading rations or parts occasionally for a medi-patch but admitting illness on planets like Jakku simply wasn’t done - there was little help for anyone to give and there was always a risk of being preyed on. Between him, Finn and Chewie, Rey felt like a smothered baby bird. Rinsing her mouth out and spitting foul water into the sink several times.

“Rub my face in it afterwards.”

“Ben-”

“Rey. Go. Please.” He stepped up behind her. Resting his left hand at her hip. Right arm wrapping around her middle, lips brushing her neck. “I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you before I can even get to you.”

“Fine!” Rey groaned, her head leaning back against his shoulder. He knew she couldn’t resist him when he was actually sweet and Ben was being decidedly unfair. Muttering crossly. “You really are a Monster.”

“Being the object of my affections is a dangerous fate.” Ben teased, his features ruffling her hair. Content that she would seek a doctor and that Rey was likely right. And a simple visit to a medical droid would confirm that, at the very least, his most dire concern was utterly impossible.

Illness is a fact of life even in war. One fought through it as best they could but Leia was hardly concerned when she’d learned that Rey had gone to visit the med bay. If anything, she was pleased - the apprentice visited less frequently than Leia would prefer but still enough for sanity so she kept her council on the matter.

More notable was that Rey did not report back that day, instead spending the rest of the day alone in the forest in meditation. Not odd enough to warrant a change in the General’s plans to her busy day but enough that the older woman noticed. Though she was the only one who did.

It was, after all, rather common for Rey to take her meals alone when Poe and Finn were not at base. Sitting apart from the others in the hanger, tucked away where she poured over the ancient texts. Alone, lying beneath the patchy shade of tree tops, Rey stared mindlessly into the sea of green leaves and sunshine above her.

Congratulations. The synthesized voice had chirped with unexpected pleasure. You are expecting.

Expecting what, exactly? There had been an incredulous laugh to her voice. Not understanding. It hadn’t occurred to her then. Why would it? Rey would never forget that moment in time, as though she were an outsider to her own life. Her hair pulled back into a rough ponytail, low and just above her neck. Sucking on a hard medi drop the droid had handed her to ease her nausea. She’d tucked it between her cheek and teeth to converse better, not exactly thrilled with the taste anyway. It had an artificial berry flavor that did very little to mask the bitter heat of the medicine.

Twins. If it was possible for a droid to cock its head, Rey would have sworn it did. Her hands covering her face as her world reeled around her. The droid had begun talking again. First giving her estimated conception date, five weeks earlier. Her expected delivery date. Going into prenatal care. Checkups. Did she want diet information?

How is this possible! Her head had lowered, fingers curled into her brown hair tightly. Pregnant. Twins. How. The droid began to explain the basics of human reproduction and Rey groaned.

I have to go. Don’t tell anyone.

Of course. Your health information is off limits to anyone but those with the highest levels of clearance and even they have to-

Not a word. No matter who asks! Why would anyone ask. She didn’t know. Putting her hands between her thighs and pushing up off the exam chair. The room was sterile and uncomforting. One of the few areas on the base that was. Her face was getting hot. Privacy was hard to come by here. She was lucky there weren’t other patients about. But who might be in earshot? She wanted to lay waste to everything around her, the Darkness calling as an easy solution. I have to go!

Her steps had been rapid, leaving the droid still talking about her next exam and the importance of regular check-ins. So much information and Rey was still barely processing the first bit. How was it even possible? She hadn’t physically been in the same room with Ben in so long. Was it six months or closer to a year? What was the date? None of it was the real problem.

“Ben… I need you.”

Rey whispered, rolling onto her side and curling up. Legs tucked and hugging them to her chest, head buried into her knees as tears began to slip from her eyes. What was he even going to say?

Flying was soothing. Perhaps it was his grandfather in him. Perhaps his father. But being at the helm of a small ship eased him, taking charge of every last thing. No delegations, no chain of command. It was easy. And he was even feeling triumphant in the success of his private mission. Ben wasn’t at the end but he’d begun a process by which he hoped to give Rey the greatest gift he could. Watching the atmosphere fade to starlight, pinpoints of light that were refracted at the top and bottom of his view screen. It was another form of mediation really, where he could feel the Force moving through him.

Ben.

His name cut through all thoughts, Ben’s hand jerking on the throttle for a moment. Small ship veering haphazardly and he had to take a deep breath to regain control. He knew that voice anywhere. Rey was calling for him, her emotions reaching out for her mate. Something was wrong. By now she would have seen the med droid. Was it… His family did have a history of unusual circumstances.

I need you.

Ben exhaled the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Running both of his hands slowly through his dark hair, over the crown of his head. Curls twisting within his fingers. White knuckling to keep himself from piloting his ship towards the nearest Resistance ship and turning himself over, simply to have the chance of finding her. It wouldn’t work well anyway. He’d likely end up having to destroy the ship.

He tented his fingers before his face, lips brushing his gloved hands for a moment. Mind turning over the different possibilities as his ship floated listless through starlight. Right hand darted out, fingers hovering over a series of buttons. His digits almost twitching. Then pulling back. He would wait. Wait until the Force connected them again or at least a while longer. Some things, once put into play, could not be stopped.

With a heavy sigh, he began again towards the large bay of his transport ship where his quarters were located, for now. Going through the motions of being Supreme Leader. The dark pleasure in being the master of all had long started to diminish. Now it had become actively irksome.

That night, he reached out with the Force. Sitting cross-legged on his bed and trying to find the strings of her consciousness, to trace their path through the future. Each hand resting atop a knee, attempting the ease of body that Luke and Mother had encouraged. Mother was so much better at deciphering the future than any of them.

There were screams. An infant’s face. Han’s touch on Ben’s shoulder, comforting after some childhood fear. Ben jerked out of meditation at that, the reminder of his Father produced complicated emotions. The bond they’d once had, when he was a child. Before Han failed. Shifting position, he placed his feet flat on the bed, clad in the soft, silky pajamas Rey liked on him. Letting his arms rest on his knees and his forehead against his arms.

“She’s pregnant.” Ben spoke the words quietly. Trying to predict how she would handle the news. Rey was stronger than anyone he’d ever known but she had told him how alone she felt, in growing isolation from the others once her training began. She deserved to not be alone now.

“Figure that out all by yourself did you?” The words were louder than his own, spoken at a conversational level and with dark amusement. In reply, Ben leapt to his feet, standing on the bed and pulling saber into hand. Red blade hissing to life, which only made the intruder laugh. A few feet away, leaning against the wall with arms crossed was a tall, thin man. Perhaps an inch or two shorter than Ben. Perhaps. His entire being was blue, with Jedi vestments that had been black in life, now simply a dark blue compared to the cerulean of his face. The same sharp chin, the same cheekbones, which had been passed down to Luke. Same eyes that Ben had seen in his mother’s face so often.

“You are Darth-”

“I’m your grandfather.” Anakin shifted from leaning against the wall to approach the bed. “Turn off that saber, if you fall off the bed and get hurt your mother will kill me.”

“I’ve been trying to reach you for years.” Hitting the button to disengage, Ben let the weapon’s hilt fall lightly onto the bed. Stepping down to sit at the edge. Watching the Ghost of his grandfather was nearly enough to make him forget the real matter at hand.

“You’ve been praying at a dead shrine.” There was contempt in the Jedi’s voice, gesturing towards the crushed and burned helmet of Vader that Ben kept on display. “That man died when I saved your Uncle and the galaxy is better for it.”

“I want to complete your work!” He protested, one arm gesturing to the array of Sith relics and prizes of his conquests.

“What needs to be completed is our family!” Stepping forward, not bothering to give Ben’s treasures a second glance. The blue hands resting lightly on Ben’s shoulders, his tones kindly but firm. “You. Your mother. My great-grandchildren. Don’t make the mistakes I did, Ben.”

Ben wanted to ask so many things. What had it been like, feeling the call of the Darkness. He’d expected Anakin to look different. As a child, he’d pictured the man with a kind, wrinkled face. As an adult, knowing far more, he’d expected hard lines, broad shoulders and lips set tight with fury. What stood before him was a slender man who wore a face similar to his own. Young, perhaps this was his appearance at Ben’s own age. With mischief in his eyes and a reassuring smile.

“I…” But before he could speak, Ben’s grandfather was gone. Leaving him with more questions than answers. How could he sway Rey to his cause. What was his grandmother, Padme Amidala like. Could one truly be redeemed, was it even possible. Were his grandparents proud of him?

Ben fell backwards onto the bed. With his hands interlaced behind his head and so many perhaps and what ifs swirling through his mind. He kept expecting to hear Rey’s breathing beside him. But the sound never came. Though he eventually laid down fully, he never slept so poorly in his memory, his mind turning over every aspect - both the encounter and how he could protect Rey, her and the unborn child.

It was early morning when they were connected at last, before the rise of the sun. Ben woke easily, to the sound of quiet tears and a sensation of damp cold along his exposed chest and arms. Rolling fast onto his side and towards her, her body curled up and smaller than he’d ever seen her. His own large frame drawing around her, his features tucking just behind her ear and his left arm wrapping around her to draw her up tight against his chest.

“Ben?” Rey’s head lifted, turning towards him and he could see the red in her eyes. Feel the fear and uncertainty pouring out of her. Kissing her forehead lightly and he slid his right arm underneath her head so that his bicep was her pillow.

“I’m here. I know.”

“Know what?” Her left hand rose, brushing tears from her eyes. How was she going to tell him about this. How was he going to react - it was impossible to tell if he would be angry or pleased or perhaps depressingly indifferent.

“This.” His hand pressed oh-so-lightly against her belly, thumb caressing through her clothing.

“How?” Rey’s voice was quiet, slowly shifting onto her back so that she could see Ben’s eyes. The comforting, heavy warmth of his hand stayed just above her womb.

“The Force.” A little shrug of his shoulders and she couldn’t help a dark chuckle. Of course it was the Force. Why wouldn’t it be? The Force had gotten them into this mess. “Rey… I’ve been researching our connections.”

“What does that have to do with our situation Ben?” Her eyes shut in frustration. If this was another attempt to pull her into Darkness… She just couldn’t right now. It was too much.

“Hear me out,” he sighed. Her frustration with him was entirely earned. “What we have is rare, almost undocumented.”

“Did you find something?” She hated to admit it, but her curiosity was a little piqued. The response warmed him internally.

“We are a dyad, a thing of prophecy but never seen. Two who are one in the Force. ” Ben paused, trying to find the right words. It was not exactly his strong suit. The fingers of his left hand brushed slowly over her clothing, and his brown eyes followed the path they traced. Noting that she was still in the same shirt and vest and pants from yesterday, with boots and damp socks from sleeping outside. Finally lifting his gaze to her own. “We are meant to be together. That I will be with you, always.”

Rey’s features tilted down to watch his hand, gently caressing her stomach while she pondered his information. Did she trust him regarding this, should she scrutinize his source? A connection of prophecy? It seemed too easy an answer, but a much more comforting one than thinking these connections were engineered by some unknown entity. At the end of it all, there was only one question that she really craved an answer for.

“Always, Ben?” Rey’s features turned up to meet his brown eyes.

“Always, Rey.” He smiled with pleasure that shone in his eyes, fingers lacing with hers over their growing child. Ben leaned in slightly and Rey lifted her head to meet his, sharing a long kiss. Lips locked, and his frame leaning over her own. When one kiss ended, he gave another. Giving her sweetness till he could feel her body fully relaxed beside him. Only then drawing back enough to look at their joined hands.

“Now… Tell me everything the droid said.” Ben squeezed her hand gently, then let go. Reaching down to grasp the blanket that was tangled around his knees. They lay on the ground of her world and he pulled up the bed clothes of his, keeping her warm. Rey laughed a little, for the first time able to feel some of the enjoyment of impending parenthood.

“I’m five weeks in. We’re having twins! They’ll be here in a little under eight months… Can you believe it?” Under her tear stained cheeks, her smile was growing. She could feel his own fear, beneath the exterior he presented for her. It was comforting all the way around. She was not the only one frightened and she was not alone.

“Twins?” He laughed incredulously and his heart pounded against his chest. Picturing her, with an infant in each arm. “Mother will be pleased. Have you thought of names yet?”

“No… have you?” Snuggling close to him under the blankets. Did that mean he would want to tell Leia? They’d have to tell her something sooner or later. Rey would start to show eventually.

“Not especially. My thoughts are on your welfare - there is a history of complicated births in my line that I would not like you to repeat.” Slowly, Ben settled onto his back. Drawing her close against him and making sure that the blanket was wrapped tightly around her shoulders. “Why are we outside? Do not say you slept out here.”

He sighed in exasperation when her head lifted enough to shoot him a look. Ask a stupid question.

“I needed to be alone.”

“No more of that. At least not without proper supplies. You are carrying our children, I get a say.” Dismissing the objections he knew that she would make before she even said them. His lover rolled her eyes but withheld further protests.

“Ben, I’m going to have to tell the others I’m pregnant sooner or later. They will want to know who the father is.”

“Mm.” He murmured in agreement. Both of their minds had been mulling over that one. His more cynically. They would eventually know the children were his, if only because his pride in his offspring would demand it. For now, however, discretion was the better part of valor. “Tell them now, if you wish. Or tell them you don’t know who the father is.”

“You don’t mean that!” She protested, lifting her head slightly. The idea of not knowing was abhorrent on a variety of levels. So many that Rey barely knew where to begin.

“It is the easiest solution I can see - if you give any hint that you know who the sire is, they are going to press you for details.”

“And if I tell them it was a one night stand on some planet, they are going to do the math and realize I haven’t had a chance for that. Not to mention, I don’t want to say that!” Rey grumbled darkly. Ben sighed, letting his forehead touch hers. He thought it was the best option but he had to concede that she did have a point.

“Then tell them that you are embarrassed to talk about the father but that it does not matter. There is no undoing the past.” She likely was embarrassed to be carrying his progeny anyway - indulging in his self hatred, fingers sliding over her stomach. What would they think of him?

“That isn’t better Ben!” Her hands cupped his face. “You are not the monster you think you are.”

“Perhaps not… but let them believe whatever they want to believe. My interest is your safety.” His hand ran slowly through her brown hair, smiling slowly as the rosy rays of light began to shine. “I would rather the entire galaxy think the worst of me than let you or our children come to harm.”

“I’ll consider it.” It was the best he would get from her. For now, she would keep their news a secret until she could frame a better way to tell their truth or make peace with one of the disagreeable lies. Firmly changing the subject. “Ben, I can not do this without you.”

“You can.” His voice was confident but lacking malice. Instead, tenderness in his eyes as their gazes met. “But you won’t. We will find a way to each other before you give birth. I promise.”

Perhaps it was the fresh sunshine that fell on his face, rising with a new day. Or the warmth that flowed through their connection. Perhaps it was simply that she had begun to trust him. But Rey believed him, her arms wrapping around his and a bright smile lighting her face. There was hope for their future. Full Chapter and Story on Ao3 with detailed tags

#reylo #Fluff and angst and smut #happy ending #unplanned pregnancy #redeemed ben solo #Star Wars fanfic #reylo fanfic

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