Secret // Alexia Putellas
| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |
Everybody knew that Alexia was a private person - she only shared the information she wanted to share as she was very selective in her choice of words and very careful about whom she told what.
And even though that facade dropped around her friends and family, she still kept you a secret - she preferred it that way - having you to herself and not having to deal with headlines like 'Alexia Putellas dating her Barcelona teammate.' and the drama that it could cause.
Whenever it was just the two of you she was the sweetest girl, treating you like a princess and being totally in love with you while when other people were around, she kept her distance, acted strictly professional and didn‘t show any signs of affection.
The only person who knew about you was her sister, Alba and she only found out by accident.
-
"mi amor, you‘re so beautiful" the midfielder admired, kissing along your jaw, "I can‘t get enough of you" she found her way down to your neck, completely lost in the feeling of you before a certain spot on your neck caught her attention where she gently created reddish marks.
Just because nobody knew about you, didn’t mean that it would stop Alexia from silently claiming you.
Her fingertips ran along your exposed skin as your shirt had riddled up, leaving the midfielder craving for more.
The Barcelona player continued to mumble sweet nothings, planting some last even sweeter kisses on your neck before she reached up to your lips, kissing them with every ounce of love. Alexia always kissed you like that, letting you know that you caused the butterflies in her stomach.
Tugging on your shirt, she signaled that she wanted it off. Happily obeying, you took it off, her hands now wandering around your bare upper body as she was back kissing you with so much passion and love.
"Ale- do you know what-" both of you froze at the same time, your girlfriend shielding your exposed body as her sister stood in the door frame, "oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!" she covered eyes, rushing out of the room and slamming the door shut.
"mierda!" Ale was off of you in an instant, throwing your shirt back to you.
"I‘m Alba!" the younger Putellas called threw the door, "we haven‘t meet yet. I‘m her sister!"
You chuckled - wrong move as Alexia glared at you, marching out of her bedroom.
"Do you ever knock?!" she said angrily, pulling her sister away, giving you the time you needed.
"I thought you were asleep! You didn‘t open the front door when I knocked" the sister defended herself in their mother tongue.
Alexia huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "so, who‘s she?" Alba asked.
Perfectly timed, you exited the bedroom, walking towards the sisters in the living room, "I’m Y/N" you smiled nicely, offering your hand.
"Alba" she introduced herself once again, returning your smile and shaking your hand.
"She‘s my girlfriend" the midfielder huffed, annoyed that her little sister caught you, "20€ if you don‘t tell anyone about it" the older one said.
She would pay money to keep you a secret? Don‘t get me wrong, you didn‘t want to be public as you loved the privacy both of you had as individuals and together but you did hope for that she would at least tell your friends and family. All you wanted was to hold her hand and not to worry about standing too close to her.
The sparkle in your eyes died down, feeling stings in your heart but nonetheless respecting Alexia‘s wishes.
"I don‘t need your money" Alba stated when she saw the way your face fell, "you could have just said please."
You felt more than rejected in that moment.
"You won‘t tell anybody about this" she ordered this time now, her jaw clenched and voice firm - captains order.
Alba walked towards the door, "I‘m going to the car, mamá is waiting. Hurry up" before she left, only Alexia and you left in her apartment.
"I‘m sorry amor, I forgot that we were having lunch together." the midfielder explained, not knowing nor realizing that her behavior had hurt you as she was just apologizing for the incident of Alba walking in.
"You can stay if you‘d like" she smiled, putting on her shoes.
After she had laced her last shoe, she pulled you in by your hips, kissing you good bye, getting a bit carried as the feeling of your lips locked was addicting.
-
You loved being Alexia‘s girlfriend but you didn‘t like being her secret.
To be honest, it didn‘t bother you at first but after 6 months, you started to think about at least telling your family (officially you hadn‘t even met Alba before) and friends but every time you proposed the idea of it, she got defensive and annoyed, so you didn‘t bring it up again.
After one year, you slowly started to think that maybe she was ashamed of being seen with you, just being with you or of you as her behavior got more and more secretive day by day - she didn‘t even act like your friend in training.
You didn‘t know where it was coming from because whenever you were behind closed doors, she was the most affectionate person who loved to cook for you or just sharing the same air made her heart and brain go love sick. She was indeed very much in love with you yet afraid to show this love outside of either of your apartments.
Sometimes you wished that she would take you out for dinner - it didn‘t have to be fancy at all, McDonalds would be simply enough - you just wanted to experience a date night.
And even though, she made home as romantic as possible, it wasn’t enough anymore. You craved for more.
Sometimes when you saw Ingrid and Mapi openly in love, you felt jealous. You wanted that too.
They were your friends and you were so happy for them as they matched each other perfectly but you couldn’t help but feel envy. You envied what they have, imagining how it would feel like with Alexia - hoping to have that with Alexia, one day.
-
"Do you want to go out tonight? Frido told me about this new restaurant!" you said smiling.
The midfielder looked up from her notebook, pausing the tv as she replayed Chelsea’s matches (the club Barcelona would face in the uwcl semi finals)
"Is it takeout?" she asked.
You shook your head - no. "We can go out" you tried again, flopping next to her on the couch.
"Amor!" she grumbled as all her notes fell to the ground, now not sorted anymore.
"Sorry"
"I‘m preparing for our upcoming matches, you should join me in fact, so you know how Chelsea will play. We can order takeout - you know I don‘t like going out with you" she sorted through her notes, grumbling and huffing at the non existing order. She hadn‘t realized that her words were harsh and in fact rude.
You got the message - she didn’t like going out(side) with you, she had made that very clear.
"I can get you some food from there tomorrow" she added, her voice gentle and the wrinkle between her brows gone as her notes were back in the correct order.
It didn‘t help though, you felt hurt. Was it that bad to be seen with you? You‘re a Barcelona player, her teammate - and friends get food together all the time, so why can‘t you get food together as friends? Nobody would suspect that the two of you were more than friends, right?
"Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook something for you, mi amor?"
Again, you shook your head, scrolling through your phone while you acted tough and unbothered by her comment as she didn‘t even notice how harsh her words had sounded before.
You sent a message in the group chat with Ingrid and Frido, asking if they wanted to try out the restaurant which the Swedish woman had discovered. Both of them agreed within seconds.
-
The two of you laid in bed, Alexia‘s arms wrapped around you as she whispered sweet nothings in your ear. It became a routine for Alexia to lull you to sleep while tracing patterns along your skin. She loved doing so and she loved watching you sleep - you looked at peace.
Something about tonight was different though. Normally, it wouldn’t take long for the captain to soothe you to sleep but after 30 minutes, you still were awake, mind seemingly not finding any rest.
"¿Qué pasa?" she whispered in the dark, gently pressing a kiss to the exposed skin on your shoulder.
"It‘s been over a year, Ale, when will you introduce me as your girlfriend? Or take me out on a date that isn’t in here?" your voice was almost inaudible. You knew it was a sensitive topic for Alexia, the girl always denying your requests on telling someone and shutting you out after the conversation and also avoiding you for the rest of the day. "Amor.. we‘ve talked about this" she said, pulling her hands off your body.
Coldness hit your body while the parts were her hands had rested burnt down.
You turned around, looking at her, the moonlight the only light source "all I’m asking is for some recognition." you admitted, almost pleading for her attention outside of either of your homes.
"But I see you. I see you in training and after training, why is it so important to you that people now? We won‘t have any privacy!" her voice raising slightly.
"Alexia… this has nothing to do with the media. I want to meet your family! Or go on a date and wear very nice clothes. Is that too much to ask for?"
"You‘re right. Lo siento, amor" her hands cupped your cheeks, resting her forehead against yours, "I‘ll try to be better"
-
Over the next few months, Alexia’s home started to become your least favourite place - you felt like you were trapped in a cage.
Nothing had changed.
She loved you behind closed doors while she couldn’t even look at you in training.
Each day that passed, more of your heart broke. Your motivation faded - football was your work and no longer a passion.
And Alexia could tell. Your passes were sloppy and your tackles were harsh.
As soon as you had arrived in her apartment, she began complaining about your attitude.
You were not having it.
You started yelling at each other, rude comments leaving both of your mouths,
"You promised me!" you shouted, all hidden anger and hurt discovering the surface, "you promised me and nothing has changed! I‘m your dirty little secret!" you spat.
"Alba knows about you, isn’t that enough?!"
"You offered her fucking money to keep her mouth shut!"
"What do you want?!"
"I can‘t do this anymore, Alexia. I don’t want to think about whether my girlfriend is ashamed of me or not."
"What are you talking about- amor?"
"I‘m worth more than that."
"Please- give me a chance"
"I did, Ale, more than once" you walked towards the front door, bending down to put on your shoes.
The captain followed, so overwhelmed by what was happening that her persona took some turns, "If you walk out that door, we‘re done!"
your hand was resting on the doorknob, ready to leave.
You looked at her, "Behind that door, we never existed anyway."
And with that being said, you left.
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hihihi!
idk if ur requests are open but i got an idea :)
bakugou/reader where they are in a secret relationship and the bakusquad sees them cuddling or whatever when they think nobody's around. maybe make them act like they hate each other infront of others hehe.
thanks in advance :D
oh yes yes i’ve already done two secret relationship posts u can find them on my masterlist :)) but i like this idea a lot so new one! lol
“hey kats.” you smile, seeing your boyfriend walk into the common room.
“shhhhhh.” he groans, agitated.
“hey?-” you frown.
“yeah yeah i love you, whatever. have a fucking headache.” he grumbles, crawling over you on the couch to lay his head on your chest, nuzzling into your soft shirt.
you smile, raking your fingers through his hair in attempt to soothe his headache.
“how come?” you say softly.
he stays quiet, unable to pinpoint what exactly caused this nuisance.
“..denki.” he says plainly with a deep frown on his face.
you laugh, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“you can’t just blame denki for all your inconveniences.” you say giggling.
he looks up at you with a pout and you peck his lips.
“yeah i can. he’s stupid.” he replies grumbling.
you squish his face in your hands and he sighs, eyes closing.
“that feels nice.” he mumbles, words distorted from his squashed lips.
“what?” you laugh, moving to release his face.
“hey. i said it feels nice. stay.” he grumbles, eyes closed.
you place your hands back on his face and he sighs, the pressure releasing the tension on his temples.
you place kisses all over his face, his squished cheeks, his pouted lips, his pretty lashes.
“can i just get you an advil? we can nap in my dorm?” you offer with a grin.
his eyes open slowly, annoyed with the harsh lights of the common room.
“are you gonna play with my hair?”
****************************************************
“i knew it!!” mina whisper shouts.
she feels a pinch to her arm.
“you didn’t know anything!” sero whisper shouts back.
“okay fine whatever, i didn’t. but this is INSANE.” mina yelps, eyes wide as saucers.
“i can’t believe he blamed me for his headache!” denki pouts.
kirishima rolls his eyes at his friend.
“why are you so quiet?” mina frowns, jabbing her finger in kirishimas chest.
kirishima freezes, attempting to stay cool.
“i just… wanna respect their privacy.” he defends.
mina grabs hold of sero and denkis shirts, tugging them close to her.
“he KNEW!!” she says, filled with anger.
she jumps up and down while shaking sero and denki furiously.
“dude! are you serious?!” denki asks.
kirishima crosses his arms over his chest.
“well… bakugou might’ve said a little something.” he smiles sheepishly.
“UGH. i hate you so much right now!”
the pair continues to argue as you and katsuki obliviously move around in the kitchen.
“they’re going to hear you, dipshits.” sero states plainly, already bored of this newfound information.
mina pouts, crossing her arms over her chest and kirishima goes silent.
“i want to get a closer look, see how fast they switch up when someone’s close.” denki smiles devilishly.
the three watch him go, wait till he’s out of earshot and then start dying of laughter.
“he is not smooth enough to pull that off.” sero grins.
“he’s going to get his ass kicked.”
****************************************************
katsuki watches boredly while you rustle through the medicine cabinet.
he groans, resting his forehead on the cool tile of the kitchen island.
“i know.. ‘m sorry kats. i can’t find the advil.” you frown, moving denkis flintstone gummy vitamins.
“i don’t need it, just need to sleep. come on.” he sighs, fisting at your shirt.
“hey guys! what’s going on here?” denki cheers as katsuki tears his hand off of you.
“hey denki.” you murmur, continuing to move throughout the shelf.
“do you know where the advil is?” you sigh, turning to denki.
denki frowns, upset at the lack of drama in this room.
“no idea… why do you need it?” he questions.
“bak- i… have a headache..” you murmur slowly, catching your almost mistake.
denkis brows pull together, glancing at bakugou still hunched over with his forehead on the counter.
“what’s wrong with you then?” denki asks with a smirk.
“shut the fuck up before i knock your lights out.” katsuki seethes, remaining in his weakened position.
you giggle as denkis eyes widen.
“wow kami, he means business.” you say grinning.
kaminari’s ears turn bright red from embarrassment, frustration bubbling up in his veins.
“oh shit denki… don’t say it.” mina mutters and kiri and sero understand exactly what she means.
the three of them watch as kami’s hands ball into fists and his brows pull together.
“temper tantrum.” sero sighs.
“yeah?! well i know you two are going at it!” denki screams at bakugou.
“kats-”
katsuki lunges forward, gripping denki by the front of his shirt.
“well shit. come on.” kiri says quickly, hitting sero.
you watch as katsuki’s arms are restrained by kirishima and sero wraps his arms around denkis middle, the two pulling them apart.
“we’re sorry!” kirishima groans from behind your boyfriend.
“it’s fine.” you mutter, knowing katsuki’s only mad because of his headache.
“it’s not fine! get off of me shit stain!” katsuki screams.
kirishima looks to you for reassurance. you nod, and kirishima releases him.
katsuki lunges forward once again and you grab him by the ear.
“ah ah ah.” katsuki halts while groaning in pain.
you sigh, giving straight mouthed looks to your friends.
“upstairs.” you say forcefully to katsuki, pinching his ear hard then releasing.
he groans, giving a look to denki before turning on his heel and stomping up the stairs.
“we’re sorry-”
“-we didn’t mean to-”
you hold your hands up in front of their faces, effectively silencing them.
“night.” you mutter, trudging up the stairs behind your boyfriend.
****************************************************
as soon as you are out of earshot the four of them erupt.
“DID YOU SEE HOW HE LISTENED TO HER?!”
“HES DOWN BADDDD!!”
****************************************************
“fucking denki.” katsuki groans.
“yeah yeah just get in bed you big baby.” you giggle softly and katsuki glares at you.
he climbs in bed, reaching his hand out to pull you in by your shirt.
“im coming relax.” you laugh.
he frowns deeply, folding his arms over his chest.
you smile, climbing into bed beside him.
staring into his eyes, you search for answers in his tired gaze.
“how’s your head?” you whisper, leaning forward and brushing his bangs back to reveal his cute forehead.
he frowns and lets a grown slip from his lips.
“they just had to pick today to find out, huh?” he mumbles, grabbing your hand.
you giggle softly, leaning your head against his shoulder.
“right, cause any other day you’d be soooo understanding?” you smirk up at him.
he scoffs, pushing your face away with his big hand.
“just wanted you all to myself…” he says under his breath, as if he didn’t even want you to hear him.
you feel your heart melt, shifting close to his face.
his breath hitches subtly as you turn your face to press open mouth kisses down his jaw.
he reaches for your thigh, pulling your leg over his hips.
you continue to kiss at his neck and jaw, placing a kiss to his adams’ apple as it bobs in his throat.
“you have me, okay?” you murmur against his skin.
he nods, arms wrapping around you in a bear hug.
“right.” you giggle.
“forgot its past your bedtime.”
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Not So Heavenly Surprise
prompt: you share exciting news with your husband but don't receive the reaction you thought you'd get. and then, the Outbreak.
pairing: Joel Miller x female!wife!reader
only height mentioned: you're shorter than Joel
fandom masterlist: HBO's The Last of Us
word count: 7.2k+
warnings: angst, angst, angst, slutty angst club, cursing, character death, major major major spoilers, death of a child, descriptive language - we talk about death and dead bodies!!! canon-level violence! NOT edited!!! (will get around to it) this work is super NOT FOR MINORS
❗️season one, episode one spoilers
September 02nd, 2002
one year before Outbreak Day
"You're going to have to tell him," you sighed to your reflection, trying to amp up the bravery. "He's gonna notice, you don't want him questioning anything, now do you? No, nope, no way, you don't. Okay, so, that's it - you're gonna tell him when he gets home. No big deal."
There was a knock at the door, Sarah calling, "Are you okay in there?"
"Girl!" You laughed, reaching for the knob and opening it to see her. "Ever heard of this thing called 'privacy'?"
"Not in this house," She smirked. "Can I get in? Wash my face?"
"Oh, yeah, totally," you moved out of her way, continuing with your nightly routine.
"So, who were you talking to?"
"Myself," you mused. "It helps me work out big decisions."
"Oh, so, you're finally gonna tell Dad you're pregnant?"
"What!?" You yelped, dropping the jar of night cream and groaning when it dolloped out from the fall - landing on your foot. "What the hell, Sarah?"
"What? You're surprised I figured it out?" She teased. "I found the pregnancy test."
"What? You were digging in the trash?"
"Well, if you must know, I dropped the toothpaste in there and found it when I was fishing it out..."
"Sarah," you sighed.
"You know he's going to be really happy, right?" She smiled at you, massaging her cheeks to curate foam from her face wash.
"Maybe," you sighed, stooping to clean your mess. "But I've been trying to figure out what to say."
"What's to say? Just tell him," she giggled. "C'mon, you guys have been married 8 years now! Isn't this, like, what was supposed to happen?"
"Well, yeah, but - "
"But nothing," Sarah laughed. "You're getting all nervous for nothing. It's just Dad, he loves you. He's going to be happy, I promise."
You sighed, nodding slowly, "All right, well, I'll try to tell him tonight."
"There is no try, only do."
"You did not just quote Star Wars to me!"
"Well, is Yoda wrong?"
You whined a little, "No..."
"So, get it done," she smiled. "This is really exciting."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," she smiled, "I've always wanted to be a big sister."
"You'd kick ass as one," you agreed.
"Think how upset and flustered Dad will be when I teach Baby to curse!"
"Sarah, you teach the kid any curse words and I'll wash your own mouth with soap," you teasingly warned with a pointed finger. "I'm a little nervous, I think," you admitted.
"Why? Daddy loves you, he'll be really happy," Sarah defended. "Maybe a little shocked, but he'll be over the moon with joy."
"You think?"
"I know," she nodded. "Tell him tonight!"
"Tell who, what?" Tommy asked, appearing in the doorway to make you both shriek.
"What happened!?" You heard Joel, but then, everything was drowned out as you and Sarah started yelling at Tommy for scaring the shit outta you both. Joel appeared in time to see his little brother throw his hands up in defense, laughing at the two of you.
"Not cool, man!" You barked, shaking your head. "Didn't hear y'all come in, the hell's wrong wit'chu?"
"Y'all didn't lock the front door, again," Tommy smirked. "I came up real quick and quiet."
"Jackass," you muttered, wiping your hands on a towel before exiting the room. "Hi, baby," you muttered to Joel, pausing to rock onto your toes and plant a kiss to your husband's lips.
"Hi, honey," he mused, arm anchoring your waist. "What's with the screamin'?"
"Your brother's an ass," you pouted, giving your best exaggerated bottom lip.
"You had it comin', darlin'," Tommy teased. "Told you to lock up, huh?"
"Why're you even here? Why are you always! Here!?" You whined lightly. "Go home!"
"I'm staying the night," he mocked gently.
"You better not clean my fridge out," you warned him with slitted eyes. "I just went to the shop."
"You get them cookies you like?" Tommy perked a brother, watching your eyes widen a small fraction. "YOU DID!" Tommy laughed, turning, and bolting down the stairs - making you yelp and start yelling after him, following closely.
Joel and Sarah could be heard laughing from upstairs.
It was close to midnight by the time you and Joel finally settled for bed. Sarah's homework was done, whole family fed, Tommy was nursing a bonked head with a small ice pack, and you and Joel were turning your bed down.
"Hey, uh," you cleared your throat as you both got in the sheets, "so, I was wonderin' somethin'."
"What's that, sugar?"
"What do you think of when you consider the future?"
Joel paused, then shrugged, "We go to Nashville with Sarah this summer."
"No, baby, I mean the future - like, years from now."
Joel chuckled, "Uh, I don't know, baby, I just think of you and Sarah and Tommy... There's not many others left 'round."
"That's all?"
"I don't know, I think sometimes when Sarah goes off to college, that girl's goin' on a scholarship, you know? So, you and I could maybe take some time for a vacation. Finally take you on that honeymoon I promised."
You hummed, settling against his chest, "Where we goin'?"
"You know I'd take you wherever you wanted," he sighed, "but maybe we could afford... I don't know, trip to... Vegas?"
"So we can renew our vows with Elvis?"
"Why not?" He chuckled, squeezing your hip. "Might be fun, right?"
"You just wanna see the strippers."
"Can you blame me?"
You laughed and smacked his chest, "Easy, mister, you're on thin ice."
Joel laughed lightly, "You know I'm teasin', darlin'. C'mon, anywhere we could, where would you go?"
"Oh, the Maldives, without a doubt.," You smirked. "But how about we keep it simple? Go to, say, Paris?"
Joel snickered, "That's simple?"
"City of Love for our honeymoon? Baby, I'd say that's more cliché than anything. Besides, don't you wanna kiss me at the top of the Eiffel Tower?"
"'Course, sugar, but the food there?"
"Oh, like you've ever been!" You laughed, looking up at him. "Don't talk shit when you don't know."
"Hmm," he considered, "solid advice, sweetheart."
He reached out to caress the side of your cheek, making you sigh, "One thing's missin' though..."
"What's that?" Joel smirked.
"We'd have to find a babysitter."
"Sarah will be older than - "
"No, no, baby, not talkin' 'bout Sarah."
"Who, then?" He chuckled. "Tommy? Though he likes proving us wrong, he can take care of himself."
"No, I'm talking about a babysitter for us."
"Lost me again, sweetheart."
You stared at him for a moment, then admitted, "I'm pregnant. So, we'd need to find a sitter 'cause we'd have a little one by then." However, Joel just stared down at you, brows slowly furrowing as he processed your words. "Joel?" You wondered when he didn't answer, but instead, looked off past you. "Honey, you still with me?"
"I heard you," he grit, making you instantly sit up and off of him.
"Joel?"
He sighed deeply, "Why'd you have to do that?"
"I'm sorry?"
Joel sat up and swung his legs from bed, making you feel instantly smaller than you actually were. "Why'd you have to go and do that? Huh? Get pregnant?"
"Joel - "
"No, what the hell's this!?" He demanded, looking far too upset than you ever considered. "You're pregnant? You're really pregnant?"
"Yes - "
"God fuckin' damn it!" Joel swatted at a lamp, knocking it over, and waking the entire house - not that either Tommy or Sarah were asleep yet. "You can't seriously be pregnant!" Joel barked at you, and if he could, you knew he'd be gnashing his teeth.
"Why is this such a shock?" You asked. "This is what happens when you're married - "
"You were supposed to be on birth control!"
"It's only so much effective when you're cumming in me like some sex doll!" You snapped back, aware of your loudness.
"Don't turn this on me!"
"I'm not! Fuck's sake, I'm happy about this!" You stood from the bed, too. "I'm happy we're havin' a baby! Why're you reacting this way?"
"We can't afford a baby right now!" Joel looked enraged now. "We don't got the space - fuckin' Tommy crashes the couch! Where we puttin' a whole baby, huh? Where we puttin' a kid? How're we gonna afford more groceries? More schoolin'? You didn't think this through, now, did you!?"
"Fuck's sake, Joel, do I need to give you a sex-ed course? Explain how you're just as much in this as I am? I didn't do this to myself, we both took risks - but I didn't think this was gonna be an issue! I thought you'd want this!"
"When have I ever said I wanted another kid? Huh? Don't put words in my mouth, woman! I got Sarah, ain't no kid better than that! Why would I even want to bother? Knowing our situation!? You think you're ready to be a mom? All you do is work, and it makes you a pretty shaky stepmother! Neither of us are in a place to just stop and take care of a kid, we're in too deep with our current bills!"
You felt too stunned to speak, every defense you had lowering in pure sadness as tears collected in your eyes. "You serious, right now?"
"Completely," he sighed, hands to his hips.
"So, you... You don't want this baby?"
Joel's jaw flexed. "Not right now, no."
"Okay," you sighed.
"I can't take care of another kid," he shook his head. "Look, why can't Sarah be enough? You've known her her whole life."
"Why is it so wrong to wonder what it's like to be pregnant? To have my own child? Since you have Sarah."
"We have Sarah," he snapped.
"No... We don't, since I'm only a shaky stepmother."
"I didn't mean it like that."
"No? How'd you mean it?" You wondered sarcastically. "Maybe that I won't be a good mother? That you don't want a kid with me, is it? Whatever, Joel, look, there's no compromise here. You don't want this baby, but I do... So, this it is."
"What is? To what?"
"Us," you sighed, gesturing between you. "If you really don't want this baby, then I don't see how we can still participate in a marriage."
"The fuck - "
"I won't stay where I'm not wanted."
"I want you, just not the baby!"
"So, understand this. Because I'm growing that baby currently, you simply don't want me. So, it's all right, now. I'll get my shit and get out, figure out what to do movin' forward, and I'll have the divorce papers sent - "
"Like hell, you are!" Joel raged.
"How're we gonna fix this then!?"
"Fuckin' Christ, woman, you really know how to piss me off! This ain't my issue - this is your problem. But we ain't gettin' a divorce, so, you better figure it out."
You scoffed, "Who the hell even are you?"
"Come again?"
You gestured at him, "This is not who I married."
"Neither are you. When we got married, you said Sarah was more than enough - "
"You know what? Feelin's change!"
Joel scoffed, "Yeah, fuckin' tell me 'bout it."
"Wow," you sighed, turning for the closet, muttering, "wow, wow, wow, wow, WOW!"
"Fuck!" Joel snapped. "C'mon, doll, don't do this."
He watched you pack a suitcase frantically, the fight continuing to wage farther into the night. Back and forth, you two went round after round after round, trying to make the other understand and see reason. To Joel, it was a matter of financials and space. To you? It was everything else.
By 3 am, you had finally packed your necessary belongings into two bags - a suitcase and purse - before you were charging down the stairs with Joel still hollering after you. Tommy was in the living room, pacing, and Sarah was laid on the couch, eyes red and swollen as she clutched a pillow to her chest. You came to a halt when you saw them both, Joel still sneering but silencing himself when he saw what you stared at.
Just like that, he understood his brother and daughter had heard every word he shouted at you, and never had he felt such shame. You swallowed harshly, nodding at Tommy before looking to Sarah. With a wobbling smile, you managed to garble, "I'm sorry."
"Mama, wait!" Sarah gasped, shooting off the couch as you fled for the front door; Tommy catching her around her waist. "No! No! Daddy, go get her! Don't go! Mama! Please! What's happening? Why won't you go after her!?"
But to Tommy's shock and horror, Joel silently descended the stairs to push the front door closed and locked it - bolting them inside and his wife outside. "Joel," Tommy shook his head, confusing marring his features. "The hell happened?"
But Joel only sighed, turned, and headed up the stairs again. Not a moment later, his bedroom door closed - making Tommy release Sarah. She rushed to the door but stopped, only staring out, and Tommy understood she could no longer see your car.
"Hey, Sarah?" Tommy called softly. "You can stay home from school tomorrow. All right?"
She only nodded silently, taking a seat at the front door and just watching. He frowned, wanting to shoo her off to bed, but understood that her child-like mind could only understand so much. She wanted to wait for you to come home, she wanted to see you coming... However, the following morning, Joel found his daughter slumped against the front door and his brother on the stairs from watching her.
His heart had plummeted to his feet when he saw them, more so when he understood you weren't home. The house already felt colder.
September 26th, 2003
Outbreak Day
Your daughter was barely a few months old by the time "it" happened. After leaving Joel, you went home to your parents and they were gracious enough to welcome you and the babe growing in your womb.
They made up your childhood bedroom into a nursery and let you transform their home office into a spare bedroom as your little brother was living in the guest room and older sister in the basement. It was an incredibly tiny room, but it worked for now; and your little girl was a ray of sunshine that you barely noticed how miserable you truly felt.
You hadn't seen Joel since the birth... And before that? Not since your fight. He really didn't want shit to do with your daughter, and while you always told him when your appointments were, he never showed. When you went into labor, your father was the one who called him because you only sobbed through the pain that you wanted your husband. So, Joel showed that day, but didn't go into the delivery room. He just waited outside it, listening, feeling his heart shatter again and again as you begged someone to find your husband, but no matter how your mother and father begged him to go in, he wouldn't. He couldn't.
It was only after the baby was born did he venture in.
You looked beat to hell and the sheets seemed bloodier than usual, but he didn't want to linger. He only nodded at you, hands in his pockets, "Good job... She's real beautiful."
You blinked, glancing over to where a nurse was swaddling the just-cleaned baby. "Thank you," you whispered. Then, he turned to leave, "W-Wait!" You begged, making him pause. "Don't you... I-I don't know, want to help name her?"
Joel sighed, glancing at you over his shoulder, "No, 's all right. Whatever you want, she's your daughter."
Your heart broke all over again, watching him leave. So much so, when the nurse brought your daughter over for you to hold, you broke down in horrendous sobs that the nurse actually shied away. You couldn't breathe from the pain, and it actually set off a few alarms on your hospital monitors.
Your mother watched in despair as a team of professionals had to sedate you in order to calm you down enough; holding her grandbaby and rocking her arms. She waited for days, hoping you'd ask to hold your daughter, but never did. Only when the lactation expert came in to help you nurse your daughter did you actually "willingly" hold her.
It just broke your heart to even look at her because she looked so much like Joel that it should've been illegal. Eventually, you came around and felt as if you couldn't set the baby down, but for the first few days were exhaustingly tough. Your parents were a huge help, but that didn't make it easier on you to try and process life without Joel. You loved your husband, wanted him back, but after his behavior, you couldn't fathom being within 6 feet of him again.
However, life had much different plans.
You didn't feed your baby formula, opting for breast feeding. Ironically, during your pregnancy, you had developed an intolerance to gluten and never wanted flour-products even after giving brith to your daughter. However, your father loved your mother's cookies...
It was nearly 2 am when it happened.
Your father had been the first "Infected" of the family, and only your mother was in their room with him. You heard the thumping and screams, peering out of your room only to see blood pooling from under your parent's closed bedroom door. "Get back," you hissed at your little brother, darting down the hall to your daughter's nursery.
"DADDY! NO!" You heard your brother scream a minute later, panic enveloping you as your daughter started to cry.
"No, no, no, it's okay, hey, hey, it's okay, sweetheart," you whispered, trying to shush her. There wasn't time to spare, and just as you secured your daughter to your chest with tight arms and made it from her room, your father came barreling out of your little brother's room - scaring the shit outta you. "D-Daddy?"
He snarled, neck snapping when he looked at you - but that wasn't your father. No, this creature was something else and while it was in your father's body, it wasn't your Daddy, and you weren't safe here.
"Down here! NOW!" Katie, your older sister called, making you shoot off down the stairs in a blind panic. Your father came crashing down behind you, knocking into your legs as you reached the bottom - forcing you to turn over and land on your back to protect your kid.
"OH MY GOD!" You screamed when your father bolted upright.
"STAY DOWN!"
Your sister swung her softball bat, knocking your father's head back with a sickly snap. He went down, and for a moment, it was all quiet. "What the fuck?" You panted, baby still crying.
"I don't know," Katie panted, reaching for your arms and helping you up. "I-I didn't - I didn't think," she stuttered, looking at your father, who's head was split open and spewing blood. "I-I killed him."
"Between us?" You nodded, "Think he was already dead."
"Where's Mommy? And Billy!?"
"Upstairs..."
"You don't think...?"
"Should we check?"
"What if they're alive and we just left them?" She worried, blinking back tears. "I-I don't know what to do."
"I think we need to get the fuck outta here," you admitted, looking around you two. "We aren't safe here, Katie, we should move."
Just then, there was a thud from upstairs. Your sister uttered your name in fear, and you had to steel yourself. "What do we do?" She whispered.
"Kitchen, there's only one door and the basement," you nodded, the two of you turning and hustling into the room. You looked around and found a long cerated knife, standing at the ready with one arm around your baby.
"What's gonna come for us?"
"Whatever the hell happened to Daddy," you gulped. "I still think we should run for it."
"But Mama - "
"She's probably dead!" You snapped. "But we aren't. We don't have to die if we play smart. I say, we get what we need and get the fuck out of here."
However, before she could answer, there was a snarling from outside the door. Your baby still cried, and soon, the door was bursting open with your mother's Infected body being hurled through the door. Your sister begged your name in a yell and you repeated at her that it's not really your mother - keeping the kitchen island between you three - and that she needed to swing the bat.
However, your little brother came barreling inside right after and knocked into you. It was a struggle as you had to let go of your baby to keep the 10-year-old demon off your body; hip teeth gnashing as pale tendrils came curling out of his mouth.
"NO!"
You couldn't look back at your sister, struggling to keep the suspiciously-strong boy at bay. You used your feet to kick him off you, snatch up the knife, and as he came back - snarling and screaming - you only stabbed the knife up into the underside of his jaw. Yanking free, blood and more came gushing out, and your brother when down.
When you turned, your sister was panting and leaning against a counter. Mother laid dead at her feet. "You good?" You asked.
"Yeah... You?"
"Yeah," you sniffled, moving to collect your baby from the bloody linoleum floor. "Can we get the fuck outta here now?"
"There's no more threat."
"Seriously?" You snapped. "Honey, if it happened here, it's happenin' elsewhere and we need to fucking move before we get left behind. Understand me?"
But then... There was a sickening sound from the only other door in the kitchen... The one leading to the basement...
"Katie?" You called your sister's name, "it's time to run."
"GO!" She screamed when a new body, that of your next door neighbor, came bursting through the door. You both ran, your daughter tight to your chest, and just made it outside your family home when a truck was screeching to a halt.
Joel leapt from the passenger seat, hollering your name in panic, and making you shoot off like a Roman Candle towards him. He caught you easily, holding you and your infant close to his chest as Katie came sprinting from behind you - taking cover behind Joel.
"What - "
"JOEL!" Katie screamed, pointing towards the body rushing from your home.
"Tommy!"
There came a gunshot, making you flinch into his chest as he turned you from the sight. "Get in the truck," Tommy called, Sarah opening the door from the inside to invite Katie in.
"We gotta go, darlin', it's time to go, let's go," Joel muttered to you.
"What the fuck is happenin'?"
"We don't know, but it's bad," he nodded, looking around frantically. "We need off the streets, baby, please, get in the truck."
But you paused, asking him, "You came back for me?"
"For the both of you," he sighed, caressing the top of your daughter's head - who still wailed in fear. "Please, baby, it's time to go - get in the truck." When you did, he rambled, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, all right, Tommy! Let's go!"
When everyone was in and doors shut, a new game began: Get the Hell Outta Dodge.
During the ride, Tommy and Joel filled you and Katie in with what they knew from the broadcasters that were once on the airwaves. Sarah held onto you tightly, infant child still wriggling in your lap and arms. You were trying to flee the suburbs, making for the highway, but it seemed, everyone else who hadn't been killed off had the same idea and created intense traffic.
"We're okay," you whispered to Sarah on repeat, almost in a chant. Katie frowned and slowly reached over Sarah's lap, taking hold of your daughter. You slowly let go only to latch full onto Sarah and try to comfort her with slow rocking and cooed words of encouragement. Joel knew that in your time apart, you and Sarah saw each other often - nearly on a daily basis - and could understand that you were her mother, through-and-through.
You both needed the comfort right now.
Someone to lean on.
Someone to be scared with you instead of saying "buck up."
"Take the field, Tommy!" Katie barked from the back, holding your screaming baby to her shoulder and trying to offer her warmth and comfort. However, it was impossible with the tangible panic and loud blaring of horns and cursing voices. "We can cut across and pick the road up on the west side."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. West, West, all right. All right, hang on," he turned the wheel, everyone bracing for the sharp movement before the bumping of the terrain became wildly uneven.
Around them, other cars followed suit, and the field was soon flooded with civilian cars trying to flee. "The fuck could be happening?" Katie asked you, gulping, "You're the doctor!"
"I-I don't fucking know, Katie, please," you whispered back, gulping in nerves as Tommy drove you all over the grass.
However, when they came over the hill to catch sight of their destination, there was a flooding of lights and choppers in the air. Tommy cursed, "Shit! Fuckin' Army!"
"Isn't that good?" Sarah asked from your embrace.
"It's good for them, but that's the highway we're tryna get to," Tommy explained, coming to a halt as cars flooded past them.
"All right, keep movin'. Head north," Joel advised quietly, his mind trying to settle.
"Could be a lotta people," Tommy argued lightly.
"Well, we can't go south, we can't go east, we can't go west," Joel pointed out. "Hell else we supposed to go?"
"Tommy, fuckin' drive!" You grit, Katie joining you in on the last word.
"Tommy, c'mon!" Joel followed right after. The tires squealed as Tommy pressed on the gas while turning his wheel, making the truck turn and speed off for a distant suburban town; lights in the distance guiding you. "Yeah," Joel muttered. "Yeah, I know that place. This can work."
"Yeah, all right, fine, cool, but then what?" Katie asked. "Where are we supposed to go then?"
"I don't know. Mexico. Just far, far as we can," Joel answered uneasily. "How much gas?"
"Three-quarter tank," Tommy answered.
"Go through town," Joel advised. "Golf course by the river, straight across, we pick up the highway on the other side of the blockade, then we're out."
"I'm gonna throw up," Katie whispered, head tilted back with her eyes closed.
"If you're feelin' sick, hand me my baby," you snapped, looking at her with fear.
"No, girl, it's anxiety," she snapped back. "I'm not sick."
"How can you be sure?" Sarah wondered.
"Cause it would've hit us the same as it did our family..."
"Who'd it hit?" Tommy wondered, looking back.
"We're all that's left," you sighed, saving your sister from answering. "Daddy turned first, then Mama... Billy after... We got out."
"They bite 'chall?" Tommy asked, glancing back.
"No," you answered, looking at Katie. "You bit?"
"Nope, I beat 'em to the punch," she sighed. "Ah, fuck, my stomach."
"Throw up in my truck, darlin'," Tommy muttered, sucking his teeth.
"Throw up on my baby, Kate, and I'll beat 'cho ass," you snipped, perking a warning brow at her.
"Girl," she sighed, glancing at Sarah - who had sat off you in contemplation. "Sarah?" She whispered in wondered.
"Maybe it's everywhere," she voiced, glancing at the two of you sat on either side of her. "Maybe there's nowhere to go..."
"Well, hey, we'll just have to find somewhere safe," you nodded back at her, but furrowed your brow. "Anyone hear that?"
"Oh, shit - "
"What the fuck!?" Tommy called over Katie, glancing up towards the roof as there came a deafening sound of a plane flying far too low to the ground.
"Cover her ears!" You begged Katie, reaching for Sarah to press your hands over her ears. Your sister held your daughter's ears closed - her still screaming bloody murder - as the plane flew over the truck.
"Fuckin' hell!" She looked back, noting the sky. Sarah whipped around, too, only to spy two more planes in the sky - all flying low and at odd angles.
However, ahead of them, cop cars were speeding around the streets and cutting off any route. "Son of a bitch," Tommy cursed. "Gotta go around. Grab somethin'!"
You held onto the designated 'oh shit!' bar over your head as Sarah leaned over to hold Katie and your baby. Tommy took a sharp right into an alley, between buildings. When you all rightened, it was only to see the people on the street running around, screaming, cars zooming past them all. Tommy took a left, then another right, and joined the bustle of the street.
"All right, keep goin', keep goin'," Joel pointed ahead, but tommy blew past a stop sign. "Shit - TOMMY!"
Another car came to a screeching halt, barely missing T-boning the Tommy's truck. They moved on, only to discover people mauling each other in the street - blocking most of their path. "Oh, my God," Sarah whispered, reaching for you as your arm came around her shoulders again as Tommy came to a stall.
"Tommy, you can't stop here," Joel reminded.
"I can't drive through 'em all!"
"Are you serious?" Joel barked. "Just keep goin'!"
However, ahead came the smashing of glass and a stampede of people - all running wildly and making you assume they were Infected, too. "Ohhhhhhh, shit," Katie whimpered.
"Go, go, go, go, back, back, back, back, back, back," Joel encouraged his brother, who hastily switched gears.
"I'm trying!"
However, when you and Sarah looked back to watch the crowd and stay out of Tommy's range of sight, you saw a distant threat and tuned everything else out. "Joel!" You begged, reaching for his arm as the sight of an airborne plane turning in the sky to head back your way was far too pressing right now.
"Dad!" Sarah echoed.
"Holy shit," Katie sobbed, cradling your baby tightly and without you even noticing, put her seatbelt on.
"Move. MOVE!" Joel told Tommy.
The plane took a nosedive into the ground, exploding, and send a flurry of parts around the surrounding area. One of those areas happened to the building you were driving past, and one of the steel parts ricocheted off it and into the truck.
Everything went black.
"Baby? Baby, can you hear me? Hey, hey, hey, darlin', c'mon, open them pretty eyes for me, c'mon, baby, please."
"Fuck," you wheezed, eyes slowly opening.
"Hey, hey, hey, there you are, hey," Joel whispered, Tommy, Katie, and Sarah already out of the truck. "There you go, c'mon, you all right? You hurt?"
"No," you blinked a few times, wiggling your toes and fingers. "Fuck's sake, what happened?"
"Car accident," he nodded, "c'mon, sugar, gotta get up for me," he looked around. "We ain't safe here, c'mon, baby, that's it."
You nodded and let him pull you from the wreckage, grunting when shattered glass pressed into your skin to create long drips of blood that resembled a child's melted-crayon canvas from elementary art class. When out, Sarah kept weight off her ankle and wobbled in her stance, making you frowned, "All right?"
"Ankle," Sarah sniffled.
"We gotta get off the streets!" Tommy called from the other side of the car.
"KATIE!?"
"I got her!" She called back, and then, you could distinguish her shrill crying. You sighed with relief before Tommy was profanely screaming and Joel turned you and Sarah from the car just as an out-of-control police car came smashing into the truck.
"I got her," you told Joel, taking hold of Sarah in full as he nodded in thanks before turning for the wreckage they couldn't get around.
"Tommy!? Tommy!? Katie!? TOMMY!"
The brothers found a glimpse of each other through the flames, Tommy telling his brother, "Head to the river! We'll find a way! Get them outta here, Joel! Go!"
"Take care of my daughter," he nodded back.
"C'mon," Tommy told Katie, and the two were taking off with Tommy's gun slung over his shoulder.
Joel turned back for you and Sarah, gulping nervously at you, "Darlin', listen, I'm so sorry - "
"Joel, now's not the time," you panted. "We gotta go. Okay? We're good right now, but we gotta stay good. Let's get the fuck outta here, please. We can talk later!"
He nodded back, looking at Sarah, who refused, "We can't leave them! K-Katie has D - "
"They'll be fine," Joel insisted. "Tommy's with 'em, they'll look after each other. Can you run?"
"No," she shook her head, making Joel sigh.
"Can you?"
"I'm good," you nodded, worryingly looking at Sarah. "I can carry her - "
"'S all right, darlin'," he muttered, sweeping Sarah into his arms and making her arms latch around his neck. "You keep your eyes on me," he told his daughter. She nodded. "Okay?"
"Okay," Sarah breathed.
"Okay," Joel nodded. "And you don't look anywhere else." Sarah buried her head in her father's neck, his eyes meeting yours. "And you..." He panted, swallowing nervously. "You stay with me, you stay right with me, all right?"
"All right."
"All right," he agreed, hurrying off down the alley. You were true to your word, keeping up with him easily, but both slowing when the end of the alley only lead to a group of Infected motherfuckers feasting on the flesh of other humans.
You panicked for a moment, looking around you, and nearly missing the sound of the a distant explosion - sounding more like a crack from this distance. However, it was enough of a sound to draw the attention of at least one Infected Fucker - who looked up to stare at you, Joel, and Sarah.
Joel lead you to a building behind you - but the Fucker followed. "Joel, go, go, go," you hissed, easily taking the lead to use your body to burst through doors. Joel followed, understanding that because he was carrying Sarah, you had assumed the role of "guide" and wanted to clear his path - but it also cleared a path to be followed.
It made horrendous sounds as it chased you three, literally hauling it's body around as if it had no real control over it. The feeling inside your chest was chaotic, the tension tangible through the air as you lead Joel through the closed-diner.
The creature still followed.
Finally outside, you didn't have to restrict yourself but couldn't find it in you to leave Joel and Sarah behind. If this was the end, it was only right you fell as a family - and while deeply stupid of you, it was oddly poetic. However, as you heard the beast in pursuit just nipping at your heels, so sounded a reverberating gunshot.
It made you pause, looking back to see a headshot had taken the Infected Fucker out, and yet, no obvious sign of the shooter. Joel comforted Sarah, looking down at you - making you nod, telling him you were okay - before looking around again.
Then, a flashlight blinded you as a Humvee's lights flashed on, a voice demanding, "Don't move!"
"Joel..." You whispered, holding onto his elbow as he readjusted so he was slightly in front of you.
"My daughter's hurt!" Joel called to the military man. "Her ankle!"
"Stop right there!" He barked again.
"Okay," Joel muttered, nerves being shared as you had a bad feeling about this. "Easy now. We're not sick!"
But the solider, instead, radioed in, "I got three civilians by the river, one of 'em injured... Ankle..."
"What about Uncle Tommy and Aunt Katie?" Sarah asked her father.
"We're gonna get you somewhere safe first, with your Mama. Yeah? Then we'll come back for 'em, okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry, repeat?" The solider asked into his comms system - earning your attention again. Joel tried to step forward, but the flashlight was right back up into your face, the man snapping, "Hey! No one told you to move!"
"Joel," you worried. "They have shoot-to-kill orders."
"What?" He whispered.
"In the event of extreme violence, similar to this, they have orders to shoot-to-kill," you told him shakily, watching the man. "I know you wanna trust 'em, but they're not our friend right now. Get ready to run..."
"Darlin' - "
"Joel," you hushed, squeezing his elbow.
The solider answered his commanding officer with three, spaced out, "Yes, sir's," before he was slowly picking up his firearm and the light was again in their eyes.
Joel realized how right his estranged wife was in that moment. "We're not sick," he tried to remind. But the man approached, making Sarah's breathing pick up as she held on tighter to Joel's neck - blindly reaching out for you. "Sir," Joel begged, "we are not sick!"
But just like you had said, the orders were shoot-to-kill, and the rapid gunfire sounded in the knight - only barely masked by Sarah's high-pitched scream. You felt a searing burn in your thigh, all three of you toppling over down the short hill you were heading towards; all three rolling away from one another.
When you came to a halt, you seethed in pain, holding your thigh, but hearing a much worse sound. Sarah hyperventilating. You looked up as the solider leered over Joel, army-crawling towards her just as a gunshot sounded. However, when you weren't struck, you kept going, and reached your stepdaughter.
"Baby?" You whispered.
"Mama," she begged. "Mama, Mama," she repeated, barely able to swallow her saliva - much less her fear. "Hurts," she grunted, soon losing the ability to form words.
Tommy had seen the scene and rushed forward to shoot the solider, leaving Katie at his side with your infant daughter still in arm. "I got'cha, hey, hey, hey, I"m here," you whispered, literally whipping your shirt off to press into her stomach. "JOEL!" You cried, looking over your shoulder to spy him on the ground.
He quickly scrambled to Sarah's other side, taking in the situation, and looking at you with absolute devastation. You cried as you held pressure, but you knew, from the entry wounds, Sarah didn't stand a chance. Her aorta artery had been hit and shredded by a bullet, only giving her moments left in this life.
Watching Joel was possibly harder than watching him walk away from you in the birthing room. He was desperate, trying to save his daughter but only being able to hold her as she grunted and sobbed in pain; bleeding out in her father's arms. Joel begged you to help but you couldn't, unable to form words, so, he turned to his brother and screamed at him - and your sister - to help him.
But in that moment he had looked away, Sarah's life had left them. "Joel," you whimpered, making him look down and realize what happened. He sobbed, drawing her in tightly; rocking helplessly on the ground as he couldn't fathom what had just happened.
However, amongst his mourning, there came a sound you never wanted to hear again. Whipping around, you caught sight of your sister starting to twitch and leapt to your feet; limping in hurried motions to snatch your screaming baby from her tightening grip.
"Katie," you begged in a sob, backing up towards Tommy, "oh, God, no... No, please."
But the bite on her forearm had turned a sickly black-and-blue, alerting she had been bit at some point and never voiced it. Before your very eyes, she turned from your dear, sweet older sister into a blood-thirsty monster. Yellowed and dead eyes, snarling and uncontrollable twitching, limbs that turned up in odd angles as the infection took over completely.
When done, you sister gave a shriek before you pleaded, "Tommy!"
He took aim and fired once, putting Katie out of her misery; sending her corpse crumbling to the ground. You panted, tears in your eyes as you couldn't process this night, but then... The unexpected.
"Oh, God, no," you gasped, wrenching your daughter from your chest as she started wriggling uncontrollably. "No, no, no, no, no, no," you sobbed, dropping to your knees and laying her down. Quickly opening her baby blanket, you noted the adult-sized bite on her whole shin, sobbing harshly. "Delilah! No, not my baby, no, no, oh, fuck, no, c'mon, not you, too. Not you, too, Delilah, please, my angel, oh, fuck, no, God damn it!"
"Darlin'," Tommy stuttered from behind you. He looked up in fear, finding his brother's confused gaze and calling, "J-Joel!"
"Delilah, please, fuck, h-how do I fix this!?" You begged. "No, fuck, God damn it! Why can't I help my daughters!?" You snarled at Tommy, sobbing until your chest hurt. "Why!? Why can't I save them!?"
"Doll," he whispered, his older brother slowly letting go of Sarah to lay her down, shut her eyes, and rest her arms over her stomach before turning for you.
"Not her, too, please," you begged. "That's everyone, please, no, please, th-this can't - please, this can't be happening! How do I help, Delilah, baby, please?" You still begged, looking at her bite. "I-I can - I don't know what to do! Wo-Would amputation work? Oh, fuck, no, no, it's - no, please!"
Joel stumbled to his feet, nearing you, but pausing as he could only stare as his infant daughter, whom he had only just seen, twitched and convulsed as the infection proved too great for her little body. It also wasn't lost to his that you had name her after his own mother, long since departed from this world and who would never meet her granddaughter.
"Oh, my God," Joel whispered, slowly nearing you as you sobbed over your daughter; hands hovering all over as you weren't sure where to touch her.
"Please!" You begged nobody, sobbing uselessly as Delilah came to a slow but jarring halt. "Oh, my God," you squeaked, leaning back in shock. "Oh... Oh, my fuckin' God, no... Not our kids, c'mon, no, God, please, fuck - this has to be some fucked-up nightmare. Right?" You looked desperately at Joel. "This... This isn't real, right? This isn't really happening? Please, Joel, you have to fucking tell me this isn't real - this can't be real."
"I'm sorry," Joel wheezed, slowly reaching for you.
"This didn't happen," you shook your head. "O-Our daughters - what the fuck just happened?"
Tommy slowly took the seat on your other side, Joel easily tugging you into his embrace as your sobs wracked your whole being. There were no words to be shared, only the grief of two parents who had just lost everything. Sarah's blood stained both your skin, Delilah laid perfectly still in her baby blanket right in front of you, and Tommy, who felt his gun weighed more than himself after failing to protect those he loved most in this world.
Joel, who lost his daughters but kept his brother.
And you... Who lost your husband a year ago and both your daughters, your mother, father, little brother, and older sister all in a single night. You, who would carry this night of great loss with you, for life. You, who felt confused on how "moving forward" was ever possible. You, who would eventually lose feeling in your head and heart that would result in years of violent turmoil.
You, who would eventually find a path to redemption, but for tonight, you, who grieved loudly and openly in the bloody arms of your estranged husband.
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