#or at least a line for the big shared speech bubble.

[sineala]

Hi Sine! I find myself in possession of a very long plot (not going to count how many of those are in my inventory), and was hoping you'd share what program(s) you use for yours? I'm the sort who'd use a murder-wall with notecards but I don't have space rn. I *should* use tagging systems but all the ones available are so sketchy and unreliable that I lose focus just typing. Also I tried to search but. This is tumbs. Thanks - Shusu

Oh boy, this question was made for me!

The first novel-length story I wrote, I wrote in TextEdit. All 90,000 words of it. I basically just made a list of the scenes I wanted in the order I wanted them in, started typing the story above the list, and deleted every scene from the list when I had written it. I don't recommend this.

These days, I use Scapple and Scrivener. I have much more detail below. I am sure I have talked about them before but, as you say, Tumblr is hard to search.

Different things will work for different people, and I don't always start this way, but sometimes, while I'm still trying to rough out an idea, I start with a mind mapping program. You know that brainstorming technique that you learned in, like, third grade, where you take a piece of paper and you write down the main idea in the center in a bubble and then branch lines out from those with more bubbles containing related ideas, and then branch things out from those, and so on? You can get programs to do that instead of a big piece of paper, and the advantage to doing this on a computer is that your piece of paper can be infinitely large and you won't ever run out of space.

I will sometimes skip this step if I already know what order things are going to happen in (in that case, I just make an outline), but if it's the kind of unformed idea where I just want to write down everything that happens as I think of it so I won't forget it later, then I use a mind map.

I also use it to write down bits of dialogue as I think of them; the program I use lets me change fonts and colors and so on, so I have color-coded my dialogue by character:

I feel like I have probably posted this before but Tumblr is not letting me search. Also, this is probably not how you're supposed to use this, judging by how it exports data, but whatever.

There are a variety of programs that can help you make mind maps, and I'm sure a lot of them are good. The one I use is Scapple, which I like for a few reasons: it's very easy to use (you type something in, and then to connect two bubbles you drag one on top of the other) in a way that gives you a lot of freedom; it's not a subscription model like a lot of apps are (you buy it, you pay once, you can use it forever, and it costs about $20); and mostly, it's made by the developer of the writing program I use (Scrivener), meaning that the two programs integrate very well.

So then there's Scrivener.

Scrivener is probably the absolute most useful software I have ever owned; I have bought it four times now. (All three desktop versions and then the iOS version.) It is a word processor that is designed to help you structure and write novels. There are similar programs for free or at least cheaper, of course, but this is the one I use. (It also isn't a subscription; you just buy it.)

The downside is that it's a very complex program. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can look a little daunting. It's one of those programs that has hundreds of features and you will only use about fifty percent of them, but everyone uses a different fifty percent, so there's something for everyone. (It can generate character names! There's a feature on the Mac version where it can highlight words by part of speech! You can change all the icons! The LaTeX export is pretty decent!)

Honestly, as long as you can figure out how to make scenes, rearrange scenes, edit synopses, and get your work out of the program, you're good to go; that's probably what you'll be doing most of the time.

Scrivener is basically designed around the murder-wall-of-notecards writing approach. A Scrivener project contains your Draft, which can have a bunch of folders in it (chapters) which can have individual documents (scenes). Each scene has an index card associated with it, and each index card is where you can write a synopsis for each scene.

You can view your story as single scenes or as a whole story (optionally with a window showing the synopses, so you can remember what you thought was going to happen while you are writing; I have shown this above) or you can just view the synopses as an outline or as index cards, like so:

There's your murder wall right there.

Rearranging the index cards also rearranges the scenes. (Rearranging the scenes using the list in the sidebar also rearranges the scenes.) So if you want to swap scenes around, you can do that. If you want to write the end first, you can do that. If you want to add three more scenes in the middle, you can do that.

You can also search your whole project, color code the index cards, tag them however you want with keywords (e.g., a keyword for every character who appears in the scene) and then look at everything you've tagged with particular keywords, notate scenes by whether they're done or not, and basically everything else you can think of. Mostly I have used this to color code scenes by POV so I can keep track of who's talking; I could also have used keywords.

So my first move when I start a project in Scrivener is to make a bunch of blank documents for all the scenes I think I will have, give them some kind of meaningful title, start writing down on the notecards things that will happen in each scene, and then move them around. This is where Scapple comes in handy -- both because I already have an idea from making a mind map in Scapple of what scenes I want, and also because the integration between Scapple and Scrivener makes it really, really easy to get started.

How do Scapple and Scrivener integrate, you ask? If you make a mind map in Scapple, you can drag and drop it into Scrivener and it will automatically make one scene for every bubble you have, and the text of each bubble will be on the notecard, so you can basically start with all of your scenes that you already have made in Scapple and then reorder them as you like.

Scrivener projects also have a Research section, where you can store basically anything related to what you're working on; you can set it to show your draft and your research at the same time. Basically anything can go in here. Mine usually have notes, more notes, character information, lines I cut but wanted to save somewhere (there is also a versioning system built in if you prefer that), comics panels, reference pictures, and entire webpages. This way, you'll never have to figure out what you did with that thing you looked up for your story, because you can keep it right there with your story.

Scrivener costs $60, which is kind of a lot, but there are very often coupons for 50% off from online software retailers (I just saw one on Boing Boing a couple days ago that still works as of the time I am answering this; I can vouch that they are a legit retailer). Also if you know anyone who has won NaNoWriMo, they get a Scrivener coupon as part of their winnings, and some people don't use theirs. It has a thirty-day free trial period (IIRC that's 30 days of use, not 30 calendar days) so you can try it and see if it works for you.

I also made a Compile Format for Scrivener 3 -- the current version -- so I can export HTML suitable for AO3 or Dreamwidth in one click. Scrivener can export your work in basically any format you can think of, but the default HTML exports all have too much stuff in them for my liking.

(Scrivener also has a bunch of preset templates for various kinds of writing -- like, there's a Novel template with room for character sheets and settings and all of that. You can make your own template, too. I actually made my own template for writing fanfiction for AO3. I'm not sharing this one because it is so personalized to me that it wouldn't be useful -- but, for example, I already know that I'm going to want a document in my Research section where I list notes about canon, and one where I list what bits I need to edit, and one where I copy in any conversations I've had with beta readers that I might want to refer to, and one where I list the things that will be in the AO3 header (it contains empty spaces for Title, Fandom, Tags, Summary, etc) so I can now always start with that. You can make a template yourself by opening a new project, setting it up exactly the way you like with the Research documents exactly the way you want, and then doing File > Save as Template. It will copy everything including any text that's in there so you want to use something that doesn't already have any story or research content written in it because then that will get copied. But it's a real timesaver.)

Anyway. Scrivener is the best.

#replies #rfpreiwaphase #scrivener

[uniiiquehecrt]

Thor Odinson

tagged by : @beheworthy bc i would ALWAYS like 💖💖💖

Give me a fictional character and I will say:

Favorite thing about them: His big dumb hero's heart. His compassion. How much he loves his home, his people, his family, his beloved, his friends — how much he loves.

Least favorite thing about them: //stares pointedly at his inability to form meaningful connections because Thor is Not Allowed to be Not Okay (even when it's obvious and people he loves asks him to share his heart).

Three things I have in common with them:

I am, myself, an elder sibling!! And one whose younger brother was/is someone I am incredibly close to, care a great deal about — that entire drama is very close to home for me.

A passion bubble for friends and family that's, on occasion, close to the surface... but otherwise am chill 👍

and .... bunt out golden child syndrome vibes. Especially that vibe of "do it on your own and put on your leader face at all times, because all eyes are on you, good luck"

Three things I don’t have in common with them:

His ... overly reserved nature. I've been told I can be serious but I don't think I brood the way he does.

One day I will be nearly half as eloquent in my speech outside of writing 🙏

The way that Thor is able to just command a room???? Goals. Total goals. I'm either very good at directing conversations or shaky at it and I wish I had Thor's level of confidence.

Favorite line:

"i would rather be a good man than a great king."

OR ALTERNATIVELY.

"is that why everything's on fire~?"

BROTP: Brodinsons 100% . Then the entire warriors + sif squad dynamics! I'm forever sad we never got more of them all together. Then Heimdall, because Thor deserves positive mentor figures in his life. (and as far as the avengers proper go: Thor/Steve absolutely deserves more recognition they were the og duo as far as Age of Ultron is concerned and y'all , we've all been sleeping.)

OTP: Fosterson ! :D They're adorable star-crossed lovers, and he loves her very much. (and she feels the same for him !)

NOTP: if i see (1) more fan art of thorki in the thor tag i will scream. I guess also bruce/thor and valkyrie/thor exist ...??? I'm not really sure who Thor's exactly shipped with in the MCU besides Jane.

Random Headcanon: One time I considered the thought of little!Thor being exceptionally friendly with his kitchen staff servants, and because he's a strong little guy, he'd pick up giant barrels 3x his size and lug them around just because he wants to be helpful. And he'd do it with or without the prize of getting snuck goodies (though he would definitely prefer the goodies, were it up to him.)

Unpopular Opinion: I'm not sure if this counts as an unpopular opinion exactly, but I do always find it interesting that in the Frozen Vault Scene in Thor (2011), what the cinematography and editors show us that sets Thor off is seeing the dead einherjar...

And I'd actually say that this triggers his anger more than the interruption of his crowning ceremony.

So with that in mind, I'm not actually sure that (most of) his rage regarding the situation was about the coronation at all, in that case. At least, not in comparison to the fear he states (semi-subtextually) about being strong enough to maintain Asgard's borders were. ("They know you are vulnerable.")

He actually seems to only be upset about the coronation AFTER Odin makes it very clear he's decided to change his mind and rescind the crown from him entirely ... which only further fuels the point that Thor isn't ready. (aka: the one thing Thor is keenly aware of, scared of, and is scared the Frost Giants also know.) Which, you know, he's not at that point in time, but I don't see a lot of people talk about the details of that particular inciting incident all that much.

(honestly the ENTIRE text and subtext of the frozen vault scene absolutely FASCINATES ME so maybe I'll do a deep dive on it one day idk)

Song SONGS I associate with them: ... //looks at my 5-minutes-until-13 hr playlist uh...

Glowing, Boreas, and Rounds by The Oh Hellos

Plant Life, The Real World, and Bird with a Broken Wing by Owl City

No Sanctuary by UNSECRET (ft. Sam Tinnesz and Fleurie)

Afterglow and Places by Portrair

Paper and Ink (fosterson) and Everything Changes in Time (brodinsons) by Madds Buckley ... also Hoping on Another Life by Madds Buckley

Favorite picture of them:

//pulls out my entire dark world screenshots folder bc are you really going to make me choose, quirks, are you really going to make me choose

soft beautiful 🥺🥺🥺🥺 precious boy ... give me more of that poncho look tho thanks

Tagging: @darkwee009 for pinkie pie or for kirby ! :D whichever you'd like more, friend !!!

#(SENDS YOU KISSES 😘) #&&. whispers #&&. thor. #&&. | marvel. | #(also no no i am not ashamed of my 13 hour playlist for thor) #(yes you can absolutely ask for more song recs i have too many) #(And probably more on the way)

[cryptidsnackpack]

Tonight, Tonight

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, Fluff, Part One of maybe more? You’re a cheerleader and Dustin’s cousin.

You and Chrissy had gone over to Megan Kowalska’s house after the game to study for Mrs. Davidson’s AP Bio midterm. Except Megan had other ideas, which involved raiding her parent’s liquor cabinet and inviting over half of Hawkins High’s student body.

You elbowed your way through the sweaty crowd. Someone had been playing exclusively Wham! for the past two hours, your cheer uniform was overly starched and uncomfortable, and Jason had tried to set you up with at least three guys. All of which were in various stages of slurring, and one had a suspiciously vomit colored splotch on his letterman.

You snagged the sickly yellow phone from the Kowalska’s kitchen wall and brought it into the pantry with you. You closed the door as much as you dared, worried about pinching the long cord.

You fished the crinkled piece of paper from the pocket of your Members Only jacket. It had been torn out of a composition notebook. Vampire bats, wizards, and dancing skeletons dominated the page in pencil and red ink.

In a large speech bubble sat Eddie Munson’s number. He’d slipped the note to you after your inaugural session with the Hellfire Club. You were more of a floater in the group, with cheer, academics, and journalism club taking up a large portion of your time. But you were Henderson’s “cool older cousin”, and you couldn’t let him down. Not to mention you actually loved it. Trying to find a D&D group that took you seriously was hard enough as it is.

Munson wasn’t trying to flirt by giving you his number. He gave it to everybody in case they had some last minute backstory they wanted to share. As a DM Eddie was big on character development. Despite that, you got the sense that Eddie was a very lonely person, and the silly note with his number on it was a lifeline in equal measure for himself and others.

On the third ring you were about to hang up. You could walk to the video store. Robin and Steve were working, and you and Robin lived right next door to each other. Steve could drop you off, or you could just spend the night with Robin. You practically lived at Robin’s on the weekends.

“You’ve reached Hell Enterprises. Unfortunately, the Dark Lord is unable to take your call right now. How can a hapless hellion of horror help you in the meantime?”

“Hey Eddie. It’s y/n. Henderson’s cousin?”

“You think I don’t know my party’s own level 13 half-elf ranger?” Some of your nervousness began to ebb. This was Eddie after all. While he came of as unhinged and intimidating, intentionally so, he was actually pretty sweet underneath.

You let out a dry laugh.

“So uhm… What are you doing right now?”

“About to head to a gig. What’s up? Gunna ask what I’m wearing next?” His laugh bubbled through the line.

“Mind picking me up from the Kowalska’s? Megan decided to throw a party and I’m miserable. Jason was just explaining, in detail, how to properly iron an Izod. I have some-” Your eyes scanned the shelves of the pantry. “Oooh! An unopened box of Smurf Berry Crunch to trade you for a ride.”

“God. You do know the way to a man’s heart y/l/n. I’ll pick you up in ten.”

You met Eddie outside the Kowalska’s with a backpack filled with contraband cereal and a shit-eating grin plastered to your face. Eddie opened the passenger door for you, bowing dramatically.

You curtsied before hopping inside.

Eddie drove like a maniac. Which you commented on, like one time. But apparently that one time was enough for Eddie to loudly proclaim that he wasn’t removing his hands from the wheel. Ever. He was going to die with his hands at 10 and 2. Which meant it was your duty to hand feed him fistfuls of Smurf Berry Crunch.

“Eddie!” Your sides had started to cramp from laughter three blown stop signs ago. He tried to nip at your fingers as you dropped cereal into his open mouth. He started to laugh, and three chunks of red cereal flecked the dashboard.

“Eeeewwww.” He laughed harder, taking both hands off the wheel to brush crumbs off his lap. Panicked you reached over, gripping the steering wheel in a white-knuckle grip. Eddie’s laughed simmered to a low chuckle.

“This is a much better idea. You take the wheel for a while.” He patted his lap before tucking both hands behind his head. Scowling you plopped down. Not that you minded. Not that you hadn’t thought about sitting on Eddie’s lap a million times. But you didn’t want him to know that.

His lap was warm, and you could feel the rough denim of his jeans prickle the backs of your thighs where your skirt had ridden up. He wrapped his hands around your middle immediately.

“This alright?” He tucked his chin against hollow of your neck and shoulder. You nodded jerkily, pretending to concentrate on keeping the van between the lines. You were, quite honestly, incredibly comfortable. Eddie’s arms felt good around you, the interior of the van was warm and smelled like too-sweet cereal. Vince Neill was crooning about home from the cassette stereo.

“TONIIIIIIGHT, TOOOONIGGGHT. I’M ON MY WAAAAAY.” Eddie screeched into your ear. You joined him.

“Just set me freeeeeee! Home sweet hoooooome.” You both devolved into giggles and Eddie pulled you in a little tighter.

“Where’s your gig?”

“The Hideout. Their Friday usuals dropped.”

“Lucky for you.” You stopped at the intersection of Cornwallis and Kerley. Left would take you home. Straight would take you out to Highway 77 and the Hideout. You went straight.

“It’s also lucky for you Munson” You cocked your head to see him grinning from your peripheral. “That your chauffer and cereal supplier is going to this gig with you.”

#eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader

[crimes-self-ships]

i feel really bad for forgetting shō’s birthday so here’s a very fast doodle of all my s/is wishing him a happy birthday

#rooftop rogues 🤍🖤💛 #i thought it was later in the month… oof 😓 #middle one is me/the one i use for all my f/os #the rest are shō exclusives lol #i rlly need to write their fics… #a crimes original #the one one the right is mostly nonverbal btw. that’s why they don’t have a speech bubble #or at least a line for the big shared speech bubble.

[todomitoukei]

Japanese vs. English Dabi A 293 Comparison

Chapter 293 gave us another great speech by Dabi, filled with all kinds of information. Similar to my post for the previous chapter, the official translation for chapter 293 has, unfortunately, once again made some changes in regards to Dabi’s speech due to its bias that I would like to share and explain here to give a better understanding of Dabi’s actual character rather than just leaving it at his American version.

Because Dabi said so much in this chapter and we will be comparing the panels from the Japanese version and the official English translation and taking apart the Japanese phrases, the rest of the post is under the cut (this post may or may not be just below 6k words)

The interaction begins with a short exchange between Dabi and Shouto as the former is hugging his younger brother mid-air while the others are still on the ground trying to take down Machia. In the official translation, Dabi begins by pointing this situation out to Shouto.

The two panels aren’t too different from the Japanese version, but this is another case of lost nuance. So here’s the original for comparison:

The speech bubbles read:

「向こうは楽しそうだなァ」

「可哀想になァ」

「おまえはこんなに辛いのに」

Breaking down the first line we get

「向こう ; mukou」-> other side; other party

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「楽しそう ; tanoshisou 」-> looks fun

「だ ; da 」-> casual form of です (desu); be; is

「なァ ; naa 」-> sentence ending particle; expresses emotion/sentiment

= “The others seem to have fun, huh?”

Then we have the second line:

「可哀想に ; kawaisou ni 」-> pitiable; poor (interjection)

「なァ ; naa 」-> sentence ending particle; expresses emotion/sentiment

= “Poor thing, huh?”

And the third line:

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「は ; wa」-> topic marker particle

「こんなに ; konnani 」-> so; like this

「辛い ; tsurai 」-> bitter; painful; heart-breaking

「のに ; noni」-> even though

= “Even though it’s so painful for you.”

Someone made a post a few days ago where they made an interesting note about this part, specifically that last line, that I think is worth mentioning here: this situation is Dabi comparing his own past to Shouto’s present. Touya was in pain for so long until he burned to death because no one helped him (and by that I mean an adult that could’ve actually helped him and not his younger siblings). Similarly, Shouto has been in pain for so long and now that it’s especially obvious to those around him as he is in the process of being burned, no one is helping him and instead, they continue fighting each other. And while Dabi doesn’t know the extent of this, it’s true that Shouto has been vocal about his family’s circumstances and yet no one’s ever done anything about it. So while Dabi at this moment is primarily referring to the fact that in this very instant no one is immediately by Shouto’s side to save him, it’s also unintentionally pointing out how no one in charge ever looked at the teenager with a huge scar on his face who openly hates his father so much and thought to maybe at least ask him about it.

You can argue that that is interpreting too much because “Dabi doesn’t care about him” - but I think that Dabi not knowing enough about Shouto and seeing him as nothing but “Endeavor’s doll” and Dabi recognizing that Shouto is in a similarly bad situation as Dabi are two statements that can coexist, especially since he is right in saying that right there no one is helping Shouto. And, again, based on his broadcast and how much his speech has changed to be more polite and humble in contrast to his usual direct, rough ways, it’s important to recognize that Dabi has an understanding of people (and how to get to them).

So while his mind might be too focused on his hatred for Endeavor, there might also still be that ability to acknowledge that those around him are hurting, too. This is an important problem within the fandom (and outside of it) as far as vocabulary goes - a lot of people throw around the word empathy and how awful it is when someone lacks it. But empathy is the ability to feel someone else’s emotions. And you don’t need to actually feel what they are feeling in order to recognize their emotions, which is far more important. This understanding of someone else’s emotions is sympathy. Compassion, on the other hand, is not just understanding someone’s emotions, but also trying to alleviate someone’s negative emotions. So even if Dabi doesn’t care about people, he can still recognize when someone is in pain.

After this, we get Shouto’s only line of that chapter, and as much as I wished he was given more lines, this one’s so good, it’s okay there isn’t more:

Above you can see the English translation having Shouto say “But... you’re... burning up... too!”

For comparison, here is this same part in Japanese:

Starting with Shouto’s line, we got「てめェ。。。こそ。。。体が。。。焦げて。。。！」

This line already broke itself apart! How nice.

「てめェ ; temee 」-> you

「こそ ; koso 」-> for sure; emphasizes preceding word

「体 ; karada 」-> body

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「焦げて ; kogete 」-> to burn; to get burned (the dictionary form of this is 「焦げる」(kongeru), the te-form is used here to leave the sentence trailing)

= “YOUR body... for sure… will… get burned…!”

The reason I’m saying this line is so important is the emphasis on the “you” part through the usage of koso. The general content of the sentence already tells us this, but that emphasizing nuance doesn’t exist in English (unless you bold, italicize, and underline it). The line is important because we’re shown someone who is in the process of being burned alive, and yet his worry is on the person trying to kill him rather than anything else. He isn’t trying to argue with him, isn’t trying to protect himself - he’s simply saying: this is hurting you. It’s interesting because in the eyes of those around him, Shouto is the one hurting the most. But to him, it’s Touya who is hurting the most. To him, this isn’t the hero-to-be Shouto being fought by the villain Dabi. This is big bro Touya hurting himself for the sake of getting at their awful dad. And little bro Shouto is only thinking about his big bro.

Now for Dabi’s response, we get the line that particularly stuck out to me as far as the English translation goes: “Seriously, it’s great that you were raised with love.” What? If you read the fan translation, you might remember this line as “You’ve grown up to be so considerate - I’m happy for you little bro” - so which one is more correct? If you guessed the fan translation then, unfortunately, you are correct! 

The Japanese line reads 「優しく育って嬉しいよ」

「優しく ; yasashiku 」-> ; tender; gentle; kind (adverbial form of「優しい」(yasashii))

「育って ; sodatte 」-> to be raised; to grow up; (te-form of「育つ」to indicate reason & means (this part results in the second part of the sentence))

「嬉しい ; ureshii 」-> happy; glad

「よ ; yo 」-> sentence ending particle; shows emphasis

= “I am glad because you grew up kindly”

First of all, an adverb is nothing other than an adjective that is directly affecting/describing the verb it precedes. So to understand that in reference to this sentence, you can ask the question “how was he raised?” - with the response being “kindly.” If you wanted to say “raised with kindness” on the other hand, you would have to turn the adjective into a noun. That part of the phrase would then be 「優しさで育って」As you can see, that’s not what it says in the original version.

More importantly, the word “love” is not part of this, so I don’t know why that word is used here. It really gives off a wrong understanding of what is actually being said here. The official translation makes it sound like Dabi is saying “I’m glad you were raised with love, while I wasn’t” sort of like a complaint?

We still don’t know exactly what Touya’s upbringing was like, but we do know that things gradually got worse over time, so with the assumption that he was raised in a more positive (not good, just better in comparison) environment than Shouto, the English statement then doesn’t make sense since he was “loved” too for a long time.

Besides, he is saying that in direct response to Shouto displaying his worry for Dabi, which says nothing about how he was raised but everything about what kind of person he is (a kind one).

Furthermore, it leaves out the part where Dabi says he’s happy about this. Instead, he just says “it’s great” - which is more something used when you can acknowledge a situation being good for someone else, even though you don’t have any particular feeling about it. It’s very objective, yet in the original, he is stating his emotions with this.

The official translation, in my opinion, just ends up turning the two against each other (more specifically turning Dabi against Shouto), when in reality, Dabi is happy that Shouto shows compassion for him here, despite Dabi currently trying to kill him. In other words, he is surprised by Shouto’s concern for him and happy to be proven wrong about him.

Next, we got「俺は大丈夫今とても幸せだから。」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「大丈夫 ; daijoubu 」-> alright

「今 ; ima 」-> now

「とても ; totemo 」-> very

「幸せ ; shiawase 」-> happy

「��から ; dakara 」-> because (indicates a reason for something)

= “I’m alright, I’m really happy now, so...”

There are two things to note here in relation to the previous phrase. First of all, notice how both phrases include the word happy. In the first phrase, the Japanese word is ureshii, whereas in this phrase it’s shiawase. Once again, this is a question of nuance.

Ureshii is more of an immediate feeling that you feel in that exact moment. It’s a feeling that isn’t going to last forever (for example the joy you feel when you receive a gift).

Shiawase, on the other hand, is a long-term happiness.

The way to interpret why he is using both these terms is that he uses ureshii as his reaction to Shouto showing that he cares. He most likely didn’t anticipate for Shouto to say something like that, so signaling his concern for Dabi made the latter feel joy in that very moment.

So what about the happiness he talks about in the second phrase, how is it different from the first one? Clearly, Dabi is not exactly someone you would describe as happy when looking at the overall picture. I think one possible explanation as to what the shiawase here refers to is that Dabi has accepted his situation. While it wouldn’t be accurate to describe his state as one of having moved on from the past - clearly - at the very least, through admitting to his past and having distanced himself from that dark place, he has been able to now be in a better situation, where he is allowed to just live rather than trying to prove himself to someone day after day.

The second thing to note is that you might be wondering why I ended the sentence with “...” when the official translation is “I’m fine, because I’m really happy right now.”

Well, it’s kind of an odd sentence, isn’t it? The sentence as it is right there is just giving us a reason. But a reason for what? In Japanese, it’s okay to omit the main clause (the phrase that would follow after this to explain what you just gave a reason for) when it’s obvious what you’re talking about.

This confused me for a little bit until I thought about what sentence came before this one. Right before this Dabi says “I’m glad you were raised kindly.” The sentence we’re looking at right now is an extension of that. And what came before that sentence?

Shouto saying: “Your body will burn too.”

See what I’m getting at?

As explained before, Shouto is essentially telling Dabi “I know you want to kill me, but this is going to kill you.” Now if you add Dabi’s two phrases to that, you get his response as “I’m glad that you’re so considerate. That makes me really happy, so it’s alright if I die.”

Many people have pointed out before that Dabi doesn’t care about whether or not he will make it out alive and this is essentially him confirming just that. His only goal is to ruin Endeavor and knowing he is doing that is enough for him to accept death.

He then continues to explain that joy of his with the next sentence:「見ろよあの顔」

「見ろ」-> look (volitional form)

「よ」-> adds extra emphasis after volitional form

「あの」-> that

「顔」-> face

= “LOOK at that face!”

With his goal being all about destroying Endeavor, seeing this man look so defeated right there is the first proof for Dabi that his plan has worked out. While he doesn’t know yet what the actual consequences for Endeavor are going to be after this, he certainly has damaged him.

The next line reads:「最高傑作のお人形が失敗作の火力に負けて死にそうだってのに。。。！」

「最高傑作 ; saikoukessaku 」-> masterpiece

「の ; no 」-> hierarchy particle (the word before is the general noun, the word after the specific noun)

「お人形 ; oningyou 」-> doll

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「失敗作 ; shippaisaku 」-> failed creative work

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「火力 ; karyoku 」-> firepower

「に ; ni 」-> indirect object marker

「負けて ; makete 」-> being defeated (te-form because another verb follows)

「死に ; shini 」-> going to die

「そうだって ; soudatte 」-> I’m saying it’s so

「のに ; noni 」-> shows disappointment (“If only that weren’t the case”)

= “I say it’s a shame that the masterpiece doll is about to be defeated and die by the firepower of the failed creative work.”

A lot of people take issue with Dabi yet again referring to Shouto as a “doll” here. Obviously, that isn’t a nice thing to say, but please keep in mind that Dabi doesn’t really know Shouto and with that also doesn’t know how Shouto feels about Endeavor. All Dabi sees is Shouto being a hero-to-be, just like Endeavor has planned. Keep in mind that Dabi used to be in Shouto’s shoes, which makes looking at Shouto be like looking in a mirror and seeing young Touya trying so hard to be what his father expects of him, yet failing over and over again. They were both born for that selfish purpose. They were never born to be people, but only born to be what their father needs them to be. And now that Dabi has broken free from that role, it’s natural for him to describe Shouto’s position as such to emphasize it in case the others haven’t understood that this is the reason for their existence and them being right there in that exact moment.

The final part says「グプっ。。。なァ見ろって！壊れちまってるよ！！ははは！！」

「グプっ ; gupuu 」-> special effects sound (I will explain this one in a second)

「なァ ; naa 」-> when placed at the start of a sentence it’s an attention seeker, kind of like a “hey!”

「見ろ ; miro」-> look (volitional)

「って ; tte 」-> to say (in casual conversation this can be used to repeat what one has just said to stress one’s own quote; can show frustration)

「壊れちまってる ; kowarechimatteru」-> be broken (unintentionally; regretfully)

「よ ; yo 」-> sentence ending particle to show emphasis

「ははは ; hahaha 」-> laughing sound

= “Hey, I said LOOK! He is completely broken, hahaha!”

As mentioned in the translation comparison for the last chapter, the chimatteru indicates that the verb it attaches to has happened unintentionally or has yielded regrettable results. We know that it is Dabi’s intention to hurt Endeavor - so him being broken is neither unintentional nor is it regrettable to Dabi. 

So in this case it’s not so much about how Dabi feels. Instead, it’s probably more fitting to say that it’s about Endeavor. This situation has broken Endeavor (which is regretful), even though it had never occurred to him that the past could come back to haunt him (he has not intended for this to happen).

[edit because someone pointed out that (as mentioned for the 292 comparison) chimatteru can also be used to indicate something has been done completely, so in this case he is saying Endeavor is completely broken]

Now for the part that I neglected before: the special effects sound gupuu. The reason I have been holding off an explanation is simply that it’s not necessarily that important for the sentence, however, when I looked this up this was the result:

Yes, you’re reading that correctly: *slurp*

I had a good laugh about that. The holy trinity of the slurping brothers is complete (albeit Dabi doesn’t have the noodles to go with it)

Anyway, back to the serious stuff!

Next, we get this big panel of Dabi with the three speech bubbles. Notice that there are several ha to indicate that he is laughing.

The speech bubbles all put together read:「焦凍！！俺の炎でおまえが焼けたらお父さんはどんな顔を見せてくれるかなァ！？」

「焦凍 ; shouto 」-> Shouto

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「炎 ; honoo 」-> flames

「で ; de 」-> by

「おまえ ; omae 」-> you

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「焼け ; yake 」-> to burn

「たら ; tara 」-> when (focuses on the results that can come from this first part)

「お父さん ; otousan 」-> dad

「は ; wa 」-> object marker particle

「どんな ; donna 」-> what kind of

「顔 ; kao 」-> face

「を ; wo 」-> direct object marker particle

「見せて ; misete」-> to show (te-form to connect to the next part)

「くれる ; kureru」-> something was done for the speaker (being shown)

「かなァ ; kanaa 」-> I wonder

= “I wonder what kind of face dad will show me, when you get burned by my flames, Shouto!?”

The official translation added the “burn you to ash” part, which just adds more harshness to this than there already is. I’m not exactly opposed to that as I do recognize that he is being harsh here, however, this overall theme of adding words to make the villains sound harsher is just not what a translator is supposed to do so it is important to point it out.

Also notice the kureru, which is used when something was given to or done for the listener (i.e. a favor). Previously, Shouto has pointed out that Dabi would not survive his attempt at burning Shouto, either, and yet here he is wondering specifically what face Endeavor will show him. He isn’t just wondering what face this man will make, but what his reaction would be that his own failure has killed his masterpiece.

After Deku interferes we get this panel of Dabi and this is where the conversation between him and Shouto ends and his speech to Deku starts.

The Japanese version essentially says the same as the translation:「他所の家に首突っ込むなよ！」

「他所」-> another place; outside (one’s family or group)

「の」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「家」-> family

「に」-> in

「首突っ込む」-> expression to poke one’s nose into another’s affair; lit.: “to thrust one’s neck into something”

「な」-> sentence ending particle; expresses emotion/sentiment

「よ」-> sentence ending particle; shows emphasis

= “Don’t stick your neck (nose) into other people’s family!”

After this, we get the part where Deku gives his speech with the “And guess what?! You’re not Endeavor!” part that was supposed to… reach what exactly? 

Someone pointed out that this wasn’t supposed to be an “It’s your power!” 2.0 speech, because with Shouto, Deku wanted to get to him and help him. With Dabi, on the other hand, he is saying (and he literally is saying this) that Endeavor is trying to be better. And Dabi not being Endeavor means that Dabi is not trying to be better. That, in turn, means that Deku is watching this Endeavor, the one that is trying to be better, but someone like Dabi who isn’t trying isn’t something worth watching.

Anyway, regardless of what the point of that phrase was, Dabi’s reaction is mocking this obvious statement

The Japanese line says「はははそんな事が誰でもわかる！！」

「ははは ; hahaha 」-> laughing

「そんな ; sonna 」-> such

「事 ; koto 」-> thing

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「誰でも ; daredemo 」-> anyone

「わかる ; wakaru」-> to understand

= “Hahaha, anyone understands such a thing!”

Continued by this part.

The first line here says「でも俺はかわいそうな人間だろ！？」

「でも ; demo 」-> but

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「かわいそうな ; kawaisou na 」-> pitiable; poor

「人間 ; ningen 」-> human

「だろ ; daro 」-> don’t you think?

= “But I am a pitiable human, don’t you think!?”

What’s interesting to note about this line is the use of ningen. Normally, you would more likely use the word「人」(hito), meaning person, when you put another word in front of it. After all, when you talk about another person (much like I am using the word right now) it’s obvious they are human, so you wouldn’t need to use the word human.

With that, Dabi specifically using the word human here is done in order to humanize himself to Deku. Not only is he asking “hey, don’t you pity me at least a little?” but rather he is saying: “I get that you think I’m just some low-life villain, but I am a human being with valid feelings, so don’t just ignore them because you don’t see me trying.”

Again - Dabi chooses his words carefully and this is no exception.

If you paid extra close attention, you might have noticed that the word kawaisou gets used again. But did you spot the difference? While in the first example the word is written in kanji as 「可哀想」now it’s completely written in hiragana. Why is that? You might wonder, and I did too. Keep in mind that the first time the word gets used here (written in kanji), Dabi is referring to Shouto. This time (written in hiragana) he is referring to himself. Kanji are generally used because it makes texts easier to read since there are no spaces in Japanese. Much like the rest of us, Japanese people are also born with zero kanji knowledge and learn about them as they grow up. Because of this, books for children tend to just be in hiragana (the letter Kota writes to Deku thanking him for having saved him is also written in just hiragana) so they can easily read them. With that, a text in all hiragana gives off a more childish, cute, innocent kinda feel.

Obviously, in spoken Japanese, you can’t hear that he is saying this word in hiragana. But we know that he is. So aside from him using the word human to make him more, well, human, he is also saying the word pitiable in an innocent way, which furthers the image he is trying to create of himself; that of an innocent human being that has been wronged. Because clearly, someone has to help the heroes see that villains are also people. As mentioned before, this is a common theme of the League of Villains and has most recently been brought up by Toga’s question to Uraraka of whether or not the heroes saw Twice as a person. Dabi is, in a way, asking that same question, just with several exclamation marks.

The second line says「正義の味方が犯した罪それが俺だ！」

「正義 ; seigi」-> justice

「の ; no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

「味方 ; mikata 」-> supporter

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「犯した ; okashita 」-> committed

「罪 ; tsumi 」-> crime

「それ ; sore 」-> that

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「だ ; da 」-> casual form of です (desu); be; is

= “The crimes committed by the champion of justice: that’s me.”

That first part seigi no mikata is sort of a set expression, but I wanted to break it down so you can see what the actual words are. It’s generally translated as champion of justice, knight in shining armor, crime avenger, or hero. Hero is obviously not the right translation here, since they just use the word hero for the profession. Champion of justice is just the closest to the actual words, hence I chose that translation.

The official translation is once again being biased with this sentence, this time though not so much to make the villains look worse, but to make a hero look less bad. While the Japanese version says that this “champion of justice” aka Endeavor has committed crimes that resulted in Dabi’s existence, the translation changed it to “did some vile stuff” which is seriously downplaying the fact that a Pro Hero, whose job it is to fight criminals, is actually a criminal himself! It’s just yet again a very odd change to make, especially given the fact that we know that Endeavor has committed crimes. So why make it sound like less here?

Okay, so you might be confused about this line if you read both the fan translation, as well as the official translation.

Again, the official translation says “evil is thriving” - the fan translation, on the other hand, says “evil will no longer prosper.”

To opposite meanings for the same short phrase. Why is that?

You see, the first line says「悪が栄えるんじゃねェ！」

「悪 ; aku 」-> evil

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「栄える ; sakaeru 」-> to prosper

「んじゃねェ ; n janee 」-> “isn’t it” (see explanation below)

= “Evil will prosper, won’t it?”

The reason for that confusion is that last part, n janee, because its meaning depends on the context, and with that, in cases like this, it’s less obvious which it is.

This is a rougher way of the casual n janai, which is a more casual way of no janai, which is a more casual form of no de wa arimasen. Or in simple terms: it’s very casual.

So what does it mean? Like I said, the meaning depends on the context.

The no is an explanatory particle and when paired with janai can be used for when you express an opinion, whilst seeking the listener’s opinion.

So you can treat it as a “isn’t it” in an affirmative sentence (when you express your opinion or talking about probability), but you can also use it to negate a sentence (hence the two opposite translations). The former can also be used when you’re making a point.

Knowing that it’s pretty much down to context, we have to ask what makes more sense. Is Dabi saying that evil will prosper, or is he saying evil doesn’t prosper?

To put this into context, you have to look at the surrounding sentences. Prior to this one, Dabi mentioned that he is the crimes of the hero system. In the next phrase, he talks about justice collapsing. Because of that, I think “evil will prosper” is a more accurate translation as justice collapses as a result of evil - unless you interpret evil as being about the heroes.

Anyway, the second line says「正義が側板するだけ！」

「正義 ; seigi 」-> justice

「が ; ga 」-> subject marker particle

「側板 ; gakai 」-> collapse; downfall

「する ; suru 」-> to do (turns the noun it attaches to into a verb)

「だけ ; dake 」-> only

= “Justice will only collapse!”

If you look back at the official translation, it says “Justice is losing this war!” Meanwhile, the Japanese version doesn’t mention the words losing or war. While they still somewhat say the same thing, losing a war doesn’t inherently lead to irreversible, long-term effects. Instead, this situation is about more than just losing this war. The entire system is taking a fatal blow from this. Not even so much from this war, though. The reason Dabi is so certain that this will be the downfall for justice is that how are people supposed to still trust in this justice system when those that are supposed to defend it are criminals themselves? It’s more of a natural consequence resulting from a system that has been corrupt for far too long - the exposure is simply what will put an end to it.

The third line in that part is「俺はその責任を感情豊かな皆々様に示しただけだ」

「俺 ; ore 」-> I

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「その ; sono 」-> that

「責任 ; sekinin」-> duty; responsibility

「を ; wo 」-> direct object marker

「感情 ; kanjou」-> emotion

「豊かな ; yutaka na」-> extremely; very

「皆々様 ; minaminasama」-> everyone

「に ; ni 」-> to

「示した ; shimeshita」-> pointed out; showed

「だけだ ; dake」-> only

「だ; da 」-> casual form of です (desu); be; is

= “I only pointed this responsibility out to all you very emotional people.”

What irked me about this phrase in particular in the official translation was yet again the choice of words. I get that Dabi has a rough way of speaking. But sometimes, he chooses to use polite words and that shouldn’t be erased.

So when the official translation makes him say “All I’m doing is showing you sentimental dopes who’s to blame for that!” It’s just a rude phrase. But in Japanese he says minaminasama. You might be familiar with the word minna or minna-san, with the san in the latter example being a polite suffix (kind of like Mr./Mrs.,...). Sama is similar to that but even more polite. So minaminasama is about as polite as you can go. There might not be a direct English equivalent to that level of politeness, but I think we can all understand that “dopes” is not a correct translation here.

The responsibility/blame part goes back to what Deku said to him. “You aren’t Endeavor” - no, he isn't. And no, he isn’t exactly trying to be better. But that kind of mentality only ignores the obvious fact that this all could’ve been prevented, had it not been for Endeavor and his own selfish goals. It was a hero - the “champion of justice” - that committed crimes just like a villain. But it’s unheard of for a hero to do such a thing. Society doesn’t get shaken at its core when it hears about a villain committing a crime. A hero, on the other hand, being found guilty of a criminal record, will lead to people doubting the integrity of heroes altogether and that is not Dabi’s doing. All he does is share the truth.

To round this speech off, we get one last phrase:

“The future coming down the pipeline… is one where all that schmaltz and lip service is gonna get blown away by the chaos!”

The Japanese line says「これから訪れる未来はきってキレイ事など吹けば飛んでく混沌だろうぜ！」

「これから ; korekara 」-> from now on; after this

「訪れる ; otozureru 」-> to arrive

「未来 ; mirai 」-> future

「は ; wa 」-> topic marker particle

「きっと ; kitto 」-> surely; without a doubt

「キレイ 事; kireigoto」-> glossing over; lip service

「など ; nado 」-> such as

「吹けば ; fukeba 」-> to blow (conditional form of fuku)

「飛んでく ; tondeku」-> to go flying (short for tonde iku)

「混沌 ; konton」-> chaos

「だろう ; darou」-> it seems; don’t you think?

「ぜ ; ze 」-> ending particle for emphasis (more casual/ruder version of yo)

= “Surely, if things like this lip service get blown over, the future coming after this will be chaos flying around.”

In Japanese, there are several conditional forms. The ba form, as used here in fukeba, is used when the preceding clause expresses a condition, which results in natural consequences. In this case, something happens in case pretty things get blown over.

Mirai is one of the words you can use to talk about the future in Japanese. This word is more intangible and more general rather than being about one specific event or person, so everyone will be affected by this.

And with that, we have made it through all of his speech from this chapter, congrats!

Something you may have noticed is that there are plenty of particles you can use at the end of a sentence, usually for emphasis. One of the most common ones you find throughout the chapter are yo and ze. Yo is a pretty standard one to show emphasis, whereas ze is more of a colloquial version of yo that has an assertive feel and is therefore usually only used when speaking in very casual conversations or to someone of lower social status than you. Dabi has used this on Endeavor before and is now also using it on Deku - aka his opponents.

Going back to the start of the chapter when Dabi is mainly focused on Shouto, though, he ends most of his sentences with naa. As mentioned before, this particle is used to express emotions/sentiment.

He also uses that during their first on-screen interaction during the summer camp. While I do think that Dabi is mainly still only seeing Shouto as an extension of Endeavor, I do think that there is also a part of him that does see himself in him and that can somewhat sympathize with him. He isn’t being as rough on him overall (verbally that is), and instead is trying to come off as more emotional, possibly just to appeal more to him.

To sum it up, there are a lot of things that just get lost in translation due to nuances that don’t exist in English. More often than not, though, the villains are being given harsher words, whereas anything related to heroes is softened. Dabi is constantly shown to be someone who puts great care and thought into the words he uses, so there is a lot of that emotional intelligence that gets neglected in the translation and then makes him seem more like someone on a random mission rather than someone who has put genuine thought into this.

There are still so many people in the fandom who, for some reason, think Dabi is in the wrong and irredeemable for having killed thirty people, whilst having the same stance as Deku in thinking that Endeavor is much better because at least he is trying.

While they should both be held accountable for their actions, Dabi has a good point when he said that heroes are to blame for his existence and that their crimes are what will ruin the justice system and not him.

Best Jeanist’s reaction to this whole situation was complaining that Dabi uses his personal past to shed a bad light on the heroes, which summarizes that exact problem of the hero society: That heroes are more concerned with their own image than actually being heroes who go above and beyond to bring about peace and safety.

Seeing Shouto’s reaction, being concerned about his big brother rather than himself, is at the very least giving some hope that at least one person on the hero side is able to see beyond the villain exterior and see them as a human-being - without needing a long speech for it.

We’ll have to wait and see how this is going to continue, but in more likeliness, the official English translation will continue to include its bias.

If you’ve made it this far - thank you so much for reading! This post was filled with a lot of information and trust me when I say some of these lines almost broke me as I tried to understand them. I hope I could clarify some parts of the chapter, though, specifically Dabi’s character, since the official translation loves to change his character.

#bnha #dabi #293 #translation #meta #boku no hero academia #bnha 293 #todoroki #shouto #touya #mha #my hero academia #mine #japanese

[pinkchanelbag]

— there’s no one else; chapter two. 

a jean kirstein x reader mafia au.

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series summary: a boy caught in a web with his survival depending on balancing niceties between his predators. a prim girl on thin ice that leads down the path of least resistance. no one too close and no one too far, no allegiance unquestioned, and no child whose value and future goes without evaluation like a playing card that determines their worth. to be destined for big things is more like being doomed to them, but that’s the way it goes. it’s just family matter.

chapter summary: the party begins.

wc: 1.9k.

cw: still nothing lol

note: putting this out short notice cause it’s JEANBOYS BIRTHDAYYY BABYYY anyway enjoy heeheee and my apologies for the slow plot thus far i swear it picks up trust me bro.

the venue is obnoxiously grand. the garden is more akin to a football field than anything else. there is no central lighting, but rather pure white string lights everywhere, everywhere. tucked behind and underneath tables and wrapped around trees and laying in the overhead greenery and in the bushes that act as walls. wherever you look, your eyes are strained, and you’re sure the dining hall can be seen from the moon. 

speaking of the dining hall, the organizers cleverly blocked off the front entrance to the building so that one is forced to walk the expanse of the entire garden—surely to ooh and aah at its elegant taste—in order to get inside through the back door entrance. in other words, having to greet every single member of the family before so much as putting your clutch down. 

you apply a friendly, attentive expression to your face each time pieck stops to greet someone new, having mastered the art of being engaged but not so engaged it’s troublesome, while in reality being completely disengaged in any way. as pieck converses with a bulky man drinking wine and you pick apart the key points (“we don’t got the ammo to make deals with top contractors—legal team in shambles—not good to have a weak spot”), really you are letting your eyes wander over the shrubbery which has been trimmed to perfection. yes, the lights are a pain and the band is too loud so early in the event, and there is not enough walking space between the bushes so people squeeze together to reach the large clearing of the garden. a perfectly obnoxious party, except you can’t help but appreciate the greenery. somehow, it is the only thing about this evening that doesn’t seem ridiculous. or maybe you’re just unusually irritated tonight. 

your eyebrows knit so slightly at this realization. why are you being so disagreeable? impatience and intolerance seem to grow in your chest for no particular reason. you make a note to identify the source of your mood, and quickly resolve it. there’s work to be done.

karina braun is a kind, opinionated sheep of a woman. she is liked by all, and not because she’s particularly easy to like, but rather because she’s hard to hate. stuck in her times and not having much intellectual value, she is possibly the most important woman in all the families. being the mother of reiner braun and the head of the braun-galliard family, gives her luxury without responsibility. you’ve only met her once before, and she possessed the kind of ignorance many privileged older women have. but still she’s kind, so you can’t justify how she makes you weary. 

her birthday, funnily enough, constitutes one of the very few gatherings that frowns upon trying to discuss family matter during the events, unlike a young girl’s birthday. it has to do with respect, you suppose. 

you spend your first half-hour at the party hovering around pieck as she makes small talk with associates, becoming increasingly nervous at your lack of breakthrough in communication with the family. you know the most important thing is your encounter with karina, and that will open up further talks with others, but you stall to approach her, imperceptibly steering pieck further away from the centre table where the older woman sits. not yet. 

“are you going to keep leading me through the same semi-circle, or are you just going to go talk to her?” pieck asks calmly. you curse her intelligence in your mind. 

“i’m just nervous,” you murmur, smiling politely at a group of men at a distance that eyes you like the business deal you are. 

“you should be, but that doesn’t change that you have to do it.” your eyes flick to look at the woman beside you for a moment. her expression is not encouraging or consoling, nor is it unsettling. it’s fitting. what you and pieck have is less than friendship but more than acquaintanceship. often you feel as thought she’s reading your emotions like an open book, which can be scary considering how many of them you really hide. but if and when she sees them, she doesn’t seem to care, whether they’re incriminating or worthy of sympathy. she sees you, and that is all. it’s not a comfort, nor a curse. 

“what are you waiting for?” she says, but it’s a genuine question rather than a push to complete the task at hand. you realize you’re waiting for porco. you want porco at your side. you want his strength and his jagged-edged ambition, and the forcefulness that makes you do the things your heart has no energy for.

“i just think it would be better if the boys were here,” you breathe. again, pieck sees your meaning, and your fright, and leaves it be. 

for the next eternity, you drink champagne and stretch back your memory to know if all parties are this boring once you become an adult, or if the braun family has a particular talent for making you crave the sight of paint drying. the closest thing to entertainment—and not the hired folk who attempt to call themselves singers—is gabi’s voice, which can be heard no matter where in the garden you stand. she tells stories, strikes up arguments, and gathers food and drink with her friends, all at top volume. for some reason, you don’t find amusement in this either, and really start to worry about this attitude problem you’ve got this night. to add on, porco’s meeting seems to stretch painfully long. it was a short-notice meeting, which either meant something very very good or very very bad—more so when he told you he was being picked up for it by reiner, colt, and annie. some of the most important family members gathering for an emergency meeting means trouble. your anxiety bubbles in your stomach, and you worry that your not approaching the woman of the hour is reaching a point where it might be seen as—rude. 

the guests are alerted that dinner is ready. it’s not long before each person has situated themselves along the tables that line the large garden. the seating plan is loosely maintained, but you have nowhere near the entitlement to mingle among other tables. you find yours and stay at it, and it’s only then that you get an idea of just how many people are at this event. each table is packed, holding roughly six people, and there are too many to count in the chaos, but they create a semi-rectangle in three respective rows. you make out countless bodies but few faces, just an endless sea of tuxedos and lovely dresses. at the front of the garden is the head table, where karina sits alone save gabi’s bouncing body going back and forth. your table is is only a few feet from hers, but you take a seat that puts your back to her front so you don’t make the unforgivable mistake of accidental eye contact. you’re to sit with porco, and his table—the galliard table—is the one closest in importance to the braun table. you are the only one at the table, further reminder of porco’s tardiness. the longer you fiddle with the white cloth on the surface, the more you worry about what exactly the meeting could mean. 

and then pieck comes and sits across from you without a word. as always, you know it’s only family matter—the concern that you look out of place—motivating her and not your obvious discomfort, but you’re grateful nonetheless. 

as the servers stream into the garden like white-clad troops armed with dome platters, a champagne glass’s unmistakeable ding ding ding catches the attention of the guests. a table near karina’s opposite side, not quite flanking her but near enough to display some importance. a man stands with his glass raised, looking unfitting for the position with the way his arm hesitantly dips and re-straightens. bertholdt, yet another notable name in braun-galliard (and it’s your job to know all the names), seems to be the only person around able to give the welcome speech. it’s easy to listen only selectively to the announcements and shoutouts, disregarding all the thank yous and remember whens and listening in for honored guests (who are honored because they’ve proven themselves useful). luckily for you, bertholdt’s clumsy speech has a clear distinction between the two categories, his eyes downturned to cards in which he lists off important guests and whatever thing they did to end up on he list before him. 

“a special welcome to general theo magath of the mexican military, who has been so generous to the family’s trade routes…” bertholdt’s words are careful, partly because of the nature of the things he is sharing, but also because all his actions have been careful since his fall from grace. formerly one of the most reliable heavy men in the family, bertholdt’s reputation was shot to hell when an important—very important—family member was killed on his watch. despite having happened years and years ago now, it took extensive efforts to just convince the higher-ups that he wasn’t in bed with the killer. it’s common knowledge that bertholdt’s incident was the first and last time someone “had it easy” from braun-galliard due to his close friendship with reiner himself. 

“an especially relieving guest to see here tonight—“ 

and—finally—the stragglers stalk into the clearing. like most others, you hear of their arrival from the ripple of murmurs long before you see them, seeing as their whereabouts are blocked off by tables and bushes. a few people stand up, but are quickly beckoned to sit down again and redirect their attention to the speaker, who clears his throat nervously. 

“carry on, bertholdt,” reiner’s affecting voice breaks through the space, and it’s enough to settle the audience, or at least have them pretend to pay attention while the late-comers shuffle through the outskirts of the tables to find their seats. bertholdt proceeds slowly. 

“…a person i’m sure we will all come to rely on during this chaotic time…”

you catch the first glimpse of porco as he turns the final corner of the rectangle, reiner walking before him and colt and annie just behind. reiner is the first to arrive to his table, the invitees seeming to hold their chests a little taller for the family’s true head—in every way except on paper—as he slides into his seat and presses a kiss to his mother’s cheek. 

“…a great legacy behind him and a bright career ahead, and we’re surely glad he’s kicked it off in our company…” bertholdt goes on. you and porco’s eyes meet, and immediately you know something is the matter; you’re just not sure if it’s fury or ecstasy in his gleam. 

colt and annie find their seats in the table just after yours, and finally porco is near enough to see—and ignore—the look of alarmed curiosity on your face. he arrives to the table, giving pieck a look of “we’ll talk later,” and briefly stopping behind your chair. his calloused hands are on your arms for a moment, running up and down comfortingly. 

“—a happy welcome to—“

“hey, doll.”

“—jean kirstein.” 

and your eyes flick away from porco’s and into the crowd of faceless bodies, and the anxieties that kept your brain buzzing with life halt and collapse to the floor of your mind like dead flies.

jean? 

#nia.tne #nia.jean #nia.txt #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein imagine #jean kirschtein headcanons #jean kirschstein #aot x reader #aot #attack on titan #snk #porco galliard x reader #porco galliard #pieck finger

[syndianites]

A Queen Serves and Protects

Chapter Three

First Chapter --> Last Chapter --> Current --> Next Chapter Summary:

Post-Style Queen, Pre-Queen Wasp.

Chloe finds the Bee Miraculous, but instead of finding an obliging, subservient Kwami, she finds the Kwami of Order and Subjugation, and Pollen is not about to let herself be used like Nooroo was.

Granted, the only danger in a teenage girl is the damage she poses to herself. Can Pollen shape Chloe into a hero? Or will she stubbornly refuse to change and remain the bitter, harsh person the city has long since known?

[My take on how Chloe’s character could have developed] ——————————————————————————————

Getting akumatized was a special sort of uncomfortable. But it was exhilarating in all the same ways. Everything that one felt became louder, bigger, something beyond what it used to be. It grew into power. The power to act and take what was yours.

For Chloe, it just made her more upset. The anger had almost fizzled out, but the akuma brought it back with a vengeance. But unlike the last time she had been akumatized, her sorrow manifested much stronger than her rage.

Her skin darkened to a deep blue, almost purple, like the edge of the night sky after the sun had set. Where her hair had been in a high ponytail, it was undone and draped down and around her face. It looked stuck together and damp as though she had just been rained on. Chloe’s makeup looked washed out and runny both from her own tears and the transformation.

Most notably, her clothes became a simple long t-shirt and sweatpants that looked worn down and overused. The pants were a bright, light blue, while the shirt was a dark, deep crimson. To top it off, her sunglasses molded into a hat not unlike what her mother wore, but with goggles inlaid into them.

Without a word, Chloe put her hands before her and a large pair of scissors, easily the size of her chest, formed in her hand. Transformation complete, she turned on a dime and walked out the locker room.

A moment of silence followed before Pollen poked her head out the locker she had hidden away in. “Well, this isn’t good.”

//////

Marinette had never been so uncomfortable in her life. That included that time when she was seven and her twice removed cousins from her dad’s side came over and asked her why she didn’t wear dresses if she liked making them so much. And that one time she stepped foot first into a mud puddle, lost her shoe, and had to walk home with a sock soaked in mud.

It was bad.

Audrey, once Chloe had stormed out, continued on her tirade. “Ugh, how dramatic. Little Charlie needs to learn her place. She simply can’t compare to talent like yours, dear.”

Starting at being addressed, Marinette gave her a pinched smile.

“Now,” Audrey continued. “You simply must come to New York with me. The opportunities are endless, and skill such as yours would flourish under my attention!”

Her heart skipped a beat. New York was a big deal for fashion. Next to Paris, it was the place to be, and opening up her contacts to overseas big names would be a huge step for her career.

But could she work with someone this awful?

Sure, Marinette didn’t like Chloe, but even she thought that how her own mother treated her was cruel. It made her feel bad for the girl. It explained a lot about her, and for a moment Marinette considered being nicer to Chloe.

Not that that would make Chloe suddenly decide to be a good person. It would take the inevitable explosion of the sun for that to happen.

“I-i, um, I need to think about it, Mrs. Bourgeois.” Marinette glanced over at her parents. “I have a lot to consider about leaving or staying, and my parents still need my help at the bakery.”

Her parents, and oh how she loved them, spoke up immediately, “Oh, we can manage the bakery dear! Don’t worry about little old us, what’s important is your future.”

Please, take the hint guys.

Before Marinette can struggle to find more excuses to deny her request, Adrien pipes up, “Mrs. Bourgeois,” he flashes her an award winning smile, “Don’t you think that the way Chloe was handled was a bit… out of hand?” Gabriel laid a hand on Adrien’s shoulder, squeezing it gently before sharing a look with Natalie and wandering off.

Audrey rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses. “Oh, darling, for such a sweet thing you can be so daft. Girls like that need a quick strike down before they let their misguidedness get to their head.”

Adrien, for his part, kept smiling. For those who knew him well enough, they could see the twitch in his eye as he struggled not to snap at the woman. “Ah, my apologies. In my experience, the best growth comes from a guiding hand that focuses on building a person up rather than tearing them down. But I suppose, for a critic, that is not the case at all. Though, the modelling experience is often different from the experience of those who make judgement calls on others’ hard work.”

Bringing a hand to her chest, Audrey sniffs derisively. “Sure, dear. Of course, most models are meant to make anything they wear look pretty, so it can be hard to see where their accessories are lacking when all they see is themselves.”

Marinette wanted to desperately be anywhere but where she was standing. She almost wished that someone had bust in with the Bee miraculous and caused a scene just so she could excuse herself.

She’d rather deal with her own mistakes a million fold over than this.

Mayor Andre, for his part, smiled a shaky press smile as he tried to talk his wife down. 

Adrien, fed up with Audrey, grabbed Marinette ’s hand and pulled her away quickly. Natalie spared him a glance before going to converse with his bodyguard.

“Can you believe her!” Adrien simmered. “How cruel can you be to your own child!”

Marinette laughed awkwardly. “I mean, at least we know where Chloe gets it from?”

Adrien rounded on her. “Chloe is not as bad as her!”

Taking a step back, she watched Adrien wide-eyed. He sighed, taking a breath to calm himself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. That display was just awful.”

He ran a hand through his hair, mussing up carefully styled locks.

Hesitating, Marinette asked, “Is she… always like that?”

Adrien gave a tense nod. “Since we were young. Chloe always wanted her mother’s support, but well,” he waved his hand back in her direction, “You try reasoning with that.”

Before either could pick the conversation back up the front doors to the building burst open. Carrying comically large scissors and dressed as what could only be called a fashion disaster was an akuma that looked one bad day away from a mental breakdown.

Or, well, in the middle of a breakdown.

“Audrey Bourgeois! You claim to recognize talent when you see it, but failed to see how your own daughter can be exceptional. Well, I am the Queen Killer and if I cannot be exceptional then no one can! I’ll cut your reign to shreds.” The akuma accented her speech with a threatening snip of her scissors before launching forward at the Style Queen.

Before anyone could react, Queen Killer had Audrey between her blades and closed. A thing, white line appeared where the blades connected and, as Queen drew her weapon away, there was a horrifying moment where Marinette was sure Audrey was split into two pieces.

Instead, a dark shadow started spilling out of Audrey, enveloping her body as she screamed. When the shadow dissipates, a twisted, snarling version of Audrey that looked like she was fused together with five other versions of herself appeared. It lashed out at those around her, screeching and clawing at them.

Queen Killer laughed. “Now everyone will see how hideous and cruel you are!”

Marinette jolted out her shock as Adrien roughly pulled her away. This, unfortunately, brought Queen’s attention to them as the rest of the room also began to run. 

“Dupain-Cheng!” If she had any doubt that that was Chloe, she had none now. ”You stole my mother’s love from me!”

As Queen launched forward with her scissors open, Marinette screamed, “That was not my intention! I didn’t know she would ask me to go to New York with her all over a hat!”

Alas, her pleas were not enough. Stuck in her civilian form, Marinette could not outrun the enraged Queen. Twin blades circled around her waist and cut, forcing Marinette to stumble and fall.

Adrien, worried for his friend, stopped and tried to go back for her. But, between a snarling Queen and Marinette urging him to keep running as a dark shadow overtook her, he kept running. The best thing for Marinette would be Chat Noir and Ladybug. He would have time to check on her later.

Marinette , meanwhile, felt the shadows come off her and… she looked the same. For a moment, she was confused. What was the akuma’s power supposed to be?

But then it bubbled up. Nothing physical. No, that would be too easy. As she looked up towards Queen and thought ‘I need to transform into Ladybug’ a wave of crushing doubt and insecurity gripped her throat.

She would just mess up again. Like she had when she started out, when she lost the Bee miraculous, and every time she let someone get harmed by an akuma. There was no way she could do this. Chat Noir would be better off without her.

As the building cleared and Queen ran out to terrorize the fleeing patrons, Marinette stayed on the ground, shaking. What could she do? Make things worse? Disappoint all of Paris? Put Fu and Chat Noir in danger?

Distantly, she heard someone talking to her, urging her to get up and move. The voice disappeared as he heard footsteps and she was lifted into someone’s arms. A hop, skip, and a jump later had her safely placed down on a chair in a private room, looking into the eyes of Chat Noir. His eyebrows were brought together in concern.

“Stay here, okay? I promise Ladybug and I will fix things for you.” He offered a reassuring smile before dashing out of the room.

When she couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore, Tikki flew out of her pocket. “ Marinette !” The little ladybug placed her paws on her face, getting her to look at Tikki. “Are you okay? What happened after she cut you?”

Shaking her head, Marinette focused on her breathing. ‘C’mon Mari,’ she thought to herself, ‘You can’t let Chat do this alone.’

“I, uh,” she looked back at Tikki, “It’s so bad Tikki. I’m going to mess up and make things worse. Like yesterday with the Bee miraculous! I lost it! Instead of getting help, I lost a potential ally and a powerful magical artifact. If I can’t even keep track of things placed under my care, how can I protect Paris?”

Tikki was at a loss for words. This reminded her so much of the Marinette she first met- unconfident, afraid, and so uncertain in her actions. It was like the cut brought out all the most hurtful parts of herself…

“ Marinette ,” Tikki began, “We all make mistakes. What’s important is working to fix them. Sure, if you do nothing you can’t mess up or disappoint people, but you also can’t grow and succeed. Paris needs its Ladybug, regardless of what the people think of you. I know you can do this. Chat will be there to help you too, I’m sure of it.”

Doubt in her eyes, Marinette nodded. While her doubts and insecurity swirled in her mind, the urge to help others reigned supreme. She had to at least stop the akuma and set things back to normal.

“Alright Tikki,” Marinette swallowed thickly. “Spots On!”

///////////

Chat was not having a good time.

His first thought upon finding Queen snipping people in half with her scissors was that he could easily beat her in combat. What could she do with a pair of large scissors when he had a versatile staff?

A lot, apparently.

As he dodged backwards from another attempt to cut him in half from Queen, he tossed a jab her way. “So is clashing colors the new look, or did I miss the memo?”

Queen huffed at him, “Says the boy in full leather! I would know a fashion disaster when I see one!”

She ran at him again, holding the scissors completely open so she could swipe at him with a blade. Chat blocked it with his staff, before pushing her away as she tried to close the blades on him.

“Excuse you, Queenie!” He retorted. “I’ll have you know that my outfit is purr-fect.”

Clearly, she disagreed, if the groan and slash at him was anything to go by.

What a party pooper.

But what was worse was that he couldn’t get close enough to her to properly disarm her. Nor could he figure out where the akuma was while trying his best to not get cut in half. Chat needed to regroup with Ladybug, but she was nowhere in sight.

Biting his lip, Chat jumped back and up onto a rooftop. Giving Queen Killer a salute, he started away from her.

“Get back here you mangy cat!” Queen simmered on the ground below where he ran off. “You better bring back Ladybug so I can take you both off your high horse!”

///////////

Pollen was not the best at sneaking around. Not for lack of trying, of course, but people were ingrained to see a blur of yellow and the sound of buzzing and think ‘Bee!’ It didn’t help that she was larger than the average bee.

What did help, however, was people being too busy staring at an akuma running full tilt down the street to pay attention to the yellow being that was trying to stay unnoticed behind them. So Pollen got a front row seat to Queen’s akuma speech and display of her powers. When Chat Noir showed up she waited for her chance to talk to him or Ladybug whenever she came around.

And, well, there went Chat running for his life.

Pollen sighed. At least flying along rooftops was less obvious than following an akuma.

After shooting past building after building, she manages to get closer to the black blur that was Chat Noir. He was vaulting along, keeping an eye out as he worked on not plummeting to the ground. When he finally stopped to catch his breath, Pollen nearly sped past him.

As Chat retracts his staff and starts to dial Ladybug, Pollen drops down in front of him. “Oh!” He stumbles back, “Hello? Who are you?”

Pollen smooths out her fluff and offers a paw. “I am Pollen, Kwami and Order and Subjugation, and the one who dwells inside the Bee Miraculous. You must be Chat Noir. A pleasure.”

Chat, mystified, offers a finger. “Nice to meet you. I thought you would be with Master Fu and your miraculous?”

“Ah, well,” Pollen tilted her head. “Did Ladybug not tell you?”

He pinched his lips. “No?”

“Ladybug lost my miraculous in the fight with Style Queen. You weren’t there, though, were you?” Pollen considered him for a moment. “I don’t blame you for that, nor do I blame Ladybug for losing my miraculous. But that isn’t important right now.”

Accepting the hand Chat placed out for her, she settles into his palm. “I need to talk to you and Ladybug, but the akuma is our first priority. What do you know about them?”

“Well,” Chat began, “I believe it is Chloe Bourgeois. But as for the akuma,” He scratched the back of his head with his free hand, “I’m not too sure. My current two guesses are her scissors or her hat, since she normally doesn’t have either on her.”

Pollen nodded thoughtfully, despite having seen the akuma land in Chloe’s sunglasses. There was no way she could tell Chat Noir without him having at least some suspicions as to who she was with at the moment. At the very least, he could narrow it down to who had been around Chloe when she transformed.

Chat pushed on. “Even if we managed to subdue Queen Killer and get the akuma out, we wouldn’t be able to do anything until Ladybug gets here to purify it. The best we can do is wait and try to stop as much damage as possible.”

“Actually,” Pollen butt in, with a slow smile spreading across her face, “I may have a solution to that.” Chat tipped his head to the side. “I can immobilize people with my power. As long as I can hold onto the power they will remain frozen, or until I touch them to let them free.”

He perked up, stars in his eyes. “Like how Plagg can use Cataclysm when he’s himself! That’s perfect, Pollen.”

She nodded eagerly, before stopping. “Wait, did you not know kwamis can use their own power?”

Chat looked confused, but nodded slowly. “I didnt figure that out until he used it to free from an akuma a while ago.”

Pollen buzzed, frustrated, before saying, “The Guardian should have told you that! It’s important for a holder to know about their miraculous and kwami, especially a trouble maker like Plagg.”

“Well,” Chat scuffed his foot on the roof, “I don’t speak to the Guardian that much. Last time we talked was when he came to my house and talked about the Miracle Box and such.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Pollen moved out of Chat’s hand and floated in an irritated circle. “You should be just as informed as Ladybug. It’s not fair to you or her to pile information on one of you and expect the other to just go along with it!”

Chat shrugged. “That’s how it’s been for most of it. Besides, I trust Ladybug with my life.”

“But, when keeping so many secrets, can she trust hers with you?” Pollen replied with a meaningful look in her eyes.

She received no response. Instead of dwelling on the matter, she urged Chat to get back to Queen Killer. They still had a job to do, after all.

/////////

Ladybug arrived on the scene to find Chat nowhere in site and Queen Killer happily snipping at random citizens. Great. Before she can engage with the akuma, she hesitates. Could she really do this without Chat? What if she lost her miraculous because she let her civilian self get hit with the akuma’s power?

Shaking her head, she prepared to head in when a flash of black caught her eye. The familiar form of Chat pole vaulting across the rooftops to her left filled her with a sense of relief. She really, seriously needed to keep it together.

Taking a second, she throws her yo-yo to wrap around a chimney in Chat’s path. Her heart races as she tests the line and jumps. Shit, shit, shit, she’s gonna hit the wall, then Queen will notice her, then-

She made it on the roof with two scraped knees. Not flawless, but still unseen. Chat landed beside her, more than happy to see his Lady. A frown creased his brow as he took in her demeanor.

“Are you alright?” He checks her over for wounds, but comes back with nothing beyond a few scratches. “Did something happen?”

Ladybug goes to dismiss the idea before Tikki’s words ring in her head again ‘Chat will be there to help you too.’ Shaking her head, she gave Chat a grimace. “Queen managed to cut me while I was in my civilian form. Even after I transformed the effects are bothering me. It’s… brought back a lot of my insecurity and confidence issues. But we can do this, I know we can.”

Chat nodded, resting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry, I have a plan. And some back up.”

“Backup?”

A yellow figure lands on Chat’s shoulder. “Hello, Ladybug. It’s nice to see you again.”

Blinking in shock, Ladybug exclaims, “You’re the kwami from the Bee miraculous! Oh god, another thing I messed up, I’m so, so sorry.”

Pollen holds up a paw, stopping her. “It’s not your fault. You were in a tight situation and did the best you could. Besides, I’m with someone who may be a good ally in the future. They just need time.”

Chat and Pollen brought Ladybug up to speed on their ideas, to which she poked and prodded at. They exchanged glances before nodding and Chat and Pollen split. Still standing on the roof, Ladybug calls her Lucky Charm. It dropped from the sky as a red and black spotted crowbar.

Keeping the crowbar in hand, Ladybug drew Queen’s attention with a hit to her scissors. “Hey!” Ladybug called out, “Don’t you know scissors are dangerous?”

Queen Killer growled back, “Of course you would start preaching at me, little miss perfect. I bet everyone in the whole city loves you. Well I’m here to cut your heroic tales short!” She launched forward, bouncing off a car and digging her scissors into the side of the building to propel her up to the rooftop to get on Ladybug’s level.

Ladybug, in a quick move, flipped over her and flung her yo-yo around the scissors to send Queen flying back to the ground. Before she could hit a lamppost, Queen dug the blades into the street to slow herself down, only to run back to Ladybug.

‘Good,’ Ladybug thought to herself, ‘Keep coming.’

In the moments before Queen got back in range, Ladybug took a moment to eye the area around her for clues on how to use the Lucky Charm. Nothing stood out, so she sprung from the rooftop to land before Queen and send her yo-yo swinging at her feet.

Queen, quick to the punch, lowered her scissors to cut the yo-yo string. Ah, what a lovely and easy mistake to make when fighting a person who used scissors with a string based weapon. Panicking, Ladybug brought up the crowbar to stop the scissors from striking her.

Pulling back, Queen raced in again with the blades open, looking to trap Ladybug the same way she had Chat in their fight before. Ladybug readied her crowbar, bringing it up to block again. Queen smirked, shutting the blades in a smooth motion. By luck or skill, Ladybug managed to sidestep the action, getting the crowbar’s hook caught in between the blades. Seeing her chance, Ladybug used the hook to pull the scissors from Queen’s hands.

Spitting a curse, Queen abandoned her scissors to tackle Ladybug.

Chat, meanwhile, called forth his Cataclysm and rushed the scissors, destroying them with a touch. When no akuma appeared, he looked back confused. Queen kept fighting Ladybug, managing to get the upper hand as Ladybug hesitated in kicking her off. As Queen pinned Ladybug’s hand with one of her own and reached for her miraculous Chat sprung towards her.

He wouldn’t make it in time.

But Queen stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide beneath the wide-brimmed hat. Pollen popped up from behind her, giving Ladybug a little giggle. “Sorry, I meant to do that a little earlier.”

This time with no reservations, Ladybug pushed Queen off of her. Chat bounded over to her to help her up, to which she shook her head and pointed at Queen. “Find the akuma.”

Receiving a nod, she picked herself up to retrieve the cut off part of her yo-yo. Chat, in this time, took Queen’s hat and ripped it. For good measure, he broke the goggles on them as well. Lo and behold, the akuma haphazardly fluttered out. Before it could escape, Ladybug snapped it up in her yo-yo.

“Bye, bye little butterfly,” Ladybug murmured, letting it fly off into the sky. With a nod to her partner, she threw her crowbar into the air and let forth the rush of ladybugs to fix the damage done.

Pollen, seeing Chloe safely de-akumatized, gave Chat a little nod before rushing off. He made a move to go after her when a bawl reached his ears. Chloe, freshly purified, was trying her best to keep it together. But as Chat knelt to help her to her feet, she jumped him for a hug. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m sorry that I was too pathetic to not get akumatized again. My mother was right about me, I’m so, so sorry.”

Chat rubbed her back slowly. “What your mother said was cruel and unfounded. You’re not pathetic at all, Chloe.”

“And it’s definitely not your fault. Even the strongest, most exceptional people can get akumatized,” Ladybug added, “Besides, even heroes have bad days.” Not that she considered Chloe even close to a hero.

Andre chose this moment to come bustling through the doors of the building behind them. “Princess, my darling!”

Seeing that she was in good hands, Chat and Ladybug pound their fists together and part ways.

Ladybug, however, is stopped by Pollen two blocks over. “There you are! Thank goodness. Can you show me where your miraculous is so I can return it to Master Fu?”

“No,” Pollen told her quietly, “But I want to ask you to trust me. I’ve found someone who needs my help. Maybe one day she could be a great hero, maybe not. But this person has gone through a lot of heartbreak and I don’t want to be another person that leaves her behind. I want you to tell Fu that I have decided to stay with them.”

“Wait, but what about secrecy? How will we know they won't spread the word about the miraculous or accidentally lead Hawkmoth to you?” Ladybug fretted, cupping her hands for Pollen to land in.

“I haven’t told her the transformation words, yet.” Pollen stroked her hand reassuringly. “That way if things go south I can still manage to keep my power from being abused. Please, Ladybug, trust me.”

Biting her lip, Ladybug hesitantly nodded. “Please stay safe, Pollen. If you ever need my help don’t hesitate to ask.”

Giving her a bright smile, Pollen floated up to nuzzle Ladybug’s forehead. After giving parting words, they went off in different directions.

Hopefully, Pollen hadn’t just made a huge mistake.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #ml #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction #chloe bourgeois #chloe bourgeois redemption #ladybug #marianette dupaign-cheng #chat noir #adrien agreste #pollen #pollen (ladybug) #pollen the kwami #bee kwami #tikki #plagg #marinette dupain cheng

[agent-cupcake]

Can I ask your opinion? So, I feel like everyone into 3H is in love with Dimitri, but I can't connect with him. I don't dislike him, but I feel like there isn't much to his personality without all his various mental health issues. It's hard to get a feel on what he's really like, so I end up just seeing him as a walking ball of trauma and not a three-dimensional character. Do you have any thoughts on Dimitri himself and how to separate him as a person from his psychological issues? Thanks!

Hmm, I guess my first thought is that everyone resonates with characters differently and so if you don’t particularly feel connected to him, that’s not wrong. Fictional parasocial relationships are very similar to real-life relationships, so it follows that nobody is going to like every character. I can’t say that a portion of my love for his character doesn’t come from his mental issues because that’s something I personally relate to and feel drawn to in others. That’s just who I am and how I build relationships. There is also something to be said for the unavoidable way mental illness informs a person’s behavior and character, it’s as much an aspect of them as being born with blond hair or losing an eye.

That said, I will do my best to explain why I think Dimitri is wonderful. Not in spite of his mental illness, but because I don’t think that’s all he is.

So, Dimitri is, as he says, a very clumsy person. This unfortunately extends to his social skills. He has a lot of very socially awkward tendencies and a general lack of self-awareness. This contrasts with his innate desire to please people, or at least avoid upsetting anyone. The thing is, Dimitri doesn’t always completely understand what upsets people or how exactly they might feel. His childhood isolation left him rather emotionally unaware and desperate for the acceptance and approval of others. That’s not to say he doesn’t try to understand other people’s feelings, but it’s not an intuitive process. He has a habit of saying kind of dumb or uncomfortable things out of nowhere, which is most likely his real feelings coming out in rather inept ways. He means well, but he’s just so dang clumsy.

The desperation to be included and validated I mentioned, I think, can be seen in the way he tries so hard to make the other Blue Lions see him as a peer and equal all the while keeping himself rather closed off from them. Dimitri approaches conversations as a means of focusing on the other person, trying to make an appeal to them rather than as an interaction where both parties could be seen as vulnerable. Of course, just like most other socially awkward introverts, he opens up when he feels closer to the person, but that takes a while. Gotta unlock the supports, you know? Although it’s not necessarily obvious, his incredibly stiff behavior (especially pre-timeskip) and the way he switches between overly formal and awkwardly friendly in his interactions with people as he tries to figure out how to socially and emotionally navigate relationships really gives me the impression of someone trying desperately to fit in without even the faintest clue of how to actually manage that. He also does his best to avoid social situations, which, mood. Basically, Dimitri’s a big dumb massive introvert trying to act like he’s not.

FURTHERMORE, he is a dork. An absolute goof of a person. Dimitri canonically thinks so-bad-its-good puns and jokes are hilarious. His own style of telling jokes is saying things that may or may not have contextual humor in a normal voice and then claiming after the fact that he intended it as such. Now, his supports with Alois are absolute factual proof of the so-bad-its-good humor, but might I also direct your attention to the scene before the battle against Miklan in Conand Tower (the event name is “Tower in a Storm (Blue Lions)”). Basically, Gilbert is explaining the history behind Conand Tower and Dimitri says, in an incredibly earnest voice, “You’re very well informed, Gilbert. Please, tell us more.” This is a joke. Supposed to be, at least. The delivery is somewhat emphasized, but not in a recognizably sarcastic way. Gilbert, who knew Dimitri very well when he was young, realizes it’s a joke after a second. But there are other things Dimitri says that I believe are his bad “jokes” and since nobody knows him well enough to tell, they don’t call him on it. There’s no proof, but his line in the Lord’s intro where he says, “And here I thought you were acting as a decoy for the sake of us all.” to Claude has to be an attempt at sarcasm. Dimitri is oblivious, but not stupid. In his Goddess Tower conversation with Byleth, when discussing the topic of wishes, he says, “Perhaps it would make more sense for me to wish that we’ll be together forever. What do you think?” In a completely normal voice. Following are two speech bubbles of “...” before he laughs and proclaims that it’s just a joke and that he’s getting better at telling them. Now, this is a two-parter because I see this as both his horribly awkward tendency to say things he feels without thinking too hard beforehand as well as his silly deadpan style of “jokes”. Granted, he does apologize. Dimitri’s got socially awkward zoomer humor. It’s endearing.

Here is a video of Dimitri hitting on Byleth pre-timeskip. I’m not sure how far it goes to endear someone to him, but the mostly awkward and occasionally smooth attempts of Dimitri’s flirtations are absolutely a highlight of his character. 

Now, this isn’t quite as cute as all that, but I think character arc and change do a lot for making a character feel more three-dimensional. Dimitri is hypocritically selfish. Although those are both negative terms, I don’t necessarily mean them as such, at least not in their totality. Both are things to overcome, which he does. And that’s why I feel like they’re a valid point of discussion when trying to explain the allure of his character.

The hypocritical part comes from the way he easily allows and forgives the flaws of others while constantly castigating himself for the same reasons. He says things that show an absurd amount of a lack of self-awareness. For example, he tells Edelgard, “Hm. You will prove a lacking ruler yourself if you look for deceit behind every word and fail to trust those whom you rely on.” All the while straight-up lying to and emotionally avoiding his friends. Dimitri also tells Marianne, when she is punishing herself for putting other people at risk, “What matters is that they came back safely in the end. You shouldn’t blame yourself for that.” Really, his C and B with Marianne is an exercise in hypocrisy. The standards Dimitri has for himself are incredibly, unattainably high. He’s setting himself up for failure in that way and, to an extent, knows what he’s doing because he knows that those same standards are too much for his friends and allies to meet. He wishes to take on everything himself. But, what I find so beautiful about this, is that Dimitri eventually realizes that he can’t do that. He is not strong enough to take on the weight of the world on himself, he comes to understand that it’s something he must allow himself to share with the people who care about him. He comes to realize that, as difficult as it is to accept, he is a weak person. Despite all of his introversion and inability to emotionally open up, he figures out that having a support system and allowing yourself to rely on people who love you is a necessity. Personally, I think this message is incredibly important in real life. Watching Dimitri come to that conclusion and argue it’s importance really rounded out his arc and journey as a person. Now, the relatability of this conclusion will differ, but I don’t think it has to do with his mental illness as much as it is a fundamental aspect of growth.

The selfishness is basically outlined above. Dimitri is selfish about his pain and secrets, purposefully and selfishly driving people away because he wants to keep the burden to himself. His vice is guilt and he indulges in the pain of it like an addiction. Hatred, too, is a drug. He thinks he needs it to keep going, even though all it does is bring agony to himself and others around him. Learning to accept and let go of these feelings is, again, something I think is important and a character arc that I really love, especially when you see him suffer as much as he does. Now, the execution of this is lacking, I admit. But that’s an issue for another time I think.

I am not quite sure if I did much to change your opinion, but this is all I can think of for now. There is probably a lot more than I’ve left out because I think about Dimitri far too much to be healthy. So, I’ll leave you off with some honorable mention aspects of his character that I think are super fun:

Pre-timeskip Dimitri has his hair tucked behind his ear. He can lift a wagon by himself. In the DLC, when faced with an impossible-to-open gate, it was not muscle man Balthus who said he couldn’t open it, but twinkish teen Dimitri. He’s not really smooth with one-liners. Like, at all. Notably, when attacking Manuela post-timeskip, he says, “Perhaps I should have appeared before you holding a bouquet of flowers, rather than the weapon that will end your life.” Adding to this, at one point, Dimitri fucked up a pick-up line so badly the girl came after him. Areadbhar has a mitten on it in the Azure Moon final picture. He breaks everything. His Crest activation ability even supports this, using twice the durability of any given Combat Art. One of his post-timeskip counselor messages is, “I lived in the slums for a long time, and I saw how the people there suffered from poverty and the ravages of war. There must be something I can do to save them." His room in the academy is right next to Sylvain’s, meaning that for almost an entire year Dimitri was a single wall away from hearing whatever nonsense Sylvain was getting up to. Dimitri is the only Lord that takes the throne and doesn’t abandon his people in some form or another.

And, finally, he is pretty sexy. And that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe dimitri #dimitri #fire emblem three houses #FE3H #Anonymous

[ciggylungz]

Miss Ginger

Miss ginger

Blurb night- 2.5k

(request: can you plz do something about Harry being all soft with his kids?)

 -----

Harry had always been a family man. Ever since he was a little boy he dreamed of having his own family, couple of kids, a nice family home with a big back garden for the little ones to run around in and him and his wife to attempt to grow some fruits and veg and maybe a few sunflowers or daisies. Simple, modest, pure and quaint but most of all, happy.

The day Harry met Y/n he knew she was special. She had this aura that he wanted to wrap himself in like a blanket. A laugh as pretty as song birds in the morning, a heart of gold, quick wit and full of talent. He knew she was going to be his wife someday, and he swears the day she said yes when he got down on one knee his heart grew 3 times its size.

The pair planned their wedding to be an intimate, beautiful event and with the help of Harry’s lovely mother Anne and Y/n’s combined work they were able to pull it off. They had decided to invite their parents and siblings, their closest friends- which included Harry’s former bandmates who made sure to embarrass the newly wed man during their best man speech- and all of Harry’s god children as well as their parents.

Harry wasn’t shy about crying when he saw his bride walk down the isle towards him, her dress was a simple silk fitted gown with delicate trimming of lace. Y/n chose to wear the same pearl earrings her mother had worn at her own wedding and a diamond necklace Anne had gifted her for the occasion. He really couldn’t help the waterworks making their way down his face as he took in her beauty, he stayed weepy through the entirety of their vows a huge smile across his dimpled face when he finally lifted the vail over her head giving her the first kiss as a married couple. She was his, and he was hers and the pair couldn’t be more smitten for each other even as they stand where they are now nearly 4 years into their marriage.

Over the last 4 glorious, joyful years of being fully committed to each other, sharing a surname and living as a unite the pair had welcomed 2 beautiful children into the world. Alfie who was nearly 3, he was conceived only around 6 months into their marriage yet they couldn’t have been more elated to find out they were expecting. The second was their little girl Rosana that they affectionally called by her nickname ‘Rosie’ and she was now coming up on 10 months old, she was starting to become increasingly mobile already such a bubbly happy little girl who had her dad wrapped around her tiny chubby finger.

__

Harry was currently on a break, just finishing his first solo tour finally getting some downtime to be home with his family and he couldn’t be happier. He loved every part of fatherhood, he enjoyed getting up in the morning and starting the little ones routines. First Harry would go downstairs, putting a kettle on while taking some breastmilk y/n had pumped from the fridge to warm up, when both of those were taken care of he’d migrate back upstairs into his sons room where he’d usually find his little guy sitting up in his new big boy toddler bed playing with one of the various stuffed toys on his bed as he waited patiently to be gotten up. Harry adored the way his son would perk up when he walked in, opening the toddlers curtains to let the sunshine in giving him a nice morning cuddle before taking him to the bathroom to change out of his pullup into his new big boy underwear since y/n and Harry are finally reaching the tail end of potty training their first born. It had been a struggle, yet every time their little boy danced around with a sticker on his shirt for going on the potty it was worth every bed wetting incident, and all the terrible two’s tears that came with the teaching. After he had him changed, he tried his best to tame the boys hair. The little tyke inherited his fathers chocolate curls unlike his sister who wore a head full of ginger ringlets.

After all of the hygiene tasks were complete, he’d serve the boy his breakfast, steeping his wife and him a cup of tea using the remaining warm water to heat the breastmilk in for when Rosie decided to greet the day. Harry didn’t mind giving his girl a bottle feed so his wife could get a little extra sleep in the mornings, opting to nurse during the day and before bed pumping whatever’s left to hold Rosie over till her mother wakes up.

Unlike some people, when Harry heard the baby monitor start to go off with the cries Rosie gives when she first wakes up he smiles instead of groans. He didn’t get angry when his kids cried, he was actually good at reading the cry’s instead of getting frustrated which always helped calm it down quickly and his little girl would always have a little cry when she’d wake up and think she’s all alone.

As soon as her daddy opened her nursery door the little girl stood up in her cot, balancing herself by gripping the railing to get a good look at who was coming towards her. once the morning light was shining in from Harry opening her curtains the tears stopped and a sniffling nose and big gummy grin was shining on her face, a contagious smile at that.

“Good morning sunshine!” the man raised his voice a few octaves, a big grin on his face as he picked her up from her bed giving her a nice hug as he swayed back and forth. “Did yeh have a good sleep, miss ginger? You look very beautiful this morning my girl, always take your shirt off when yeh sleep don’t ya’ silly girl? I get it girlfriend, sometimes you gotta let it breathe babe. C’mon think it’s time for a nappy change and a bottle hmm?” the little girl giggled at her father, bouncing in his arms and babbling incoherently whilst her dad cleaned her up and got her ready for her morning feed.

Harry set the baby in her bouncer, putting the milk into her bottle checking the temperature on his wrist before giving it to the still topless baby. It was easier to just leave it off during the morning snack, she was a rather messy little girl since she always wanted to hold her own bottle now often letting it dribble onto her tummy as she removed the nipple from her mouth to babble at her father. She always had a lot to say, even if no one but her knew what she was on about, no one had created a baby talk translation app yet so until then her passionate rants wouldn’t be understood.

Alfie was at an age where he wanted to be independent more, he reminds everyone how he’s a big boy, whenever he puts his own dish in the washer or screws the top onto his sippy cup by himself. Both his parents found it absolutely adorable and humorous as well.

__

When Harry heard the pitter patter of his wife coming down the stairs around 45 minutes after he’d got the kids up, a soft smile etched itself onto his face. He swears every time he sees her, no matter what state she’s in he still finds her breathtakingly gorgeous. Angelic even. Even when he had pulled Alfie out of her as she pushed, he still found her beautiful. Nothing would ever change the love and attraction he felt for his wife.

“Mornin’ love, sleep well?” the man brought his wife into his arms, giving her a warm hug and a kiss on the crown of her head. “Mhm, thank you for gettin’ up with the kids so I could get a few extra minutes of rest. Love yeh h.” she stood on her toes to peck his lips, this far into a relationship and being parents a slightly morning breathy kiss didn’t bother them in the slightest. After you’ve changed some ungodly diapers, smells don’t affect you the same anymore.

“no problem, had an easy morning Alfie was good about brushing his teeth and me and Rosie had a nice cuddle. She woke up shirtless again, I’m starting to get her vibe think I might start just being half naked all the time.” Y/n chuckled at her husband, sipping her tea slowly before responding. “At least it was just her top this time, last week when I got her up she had taken everything off. Had to do an extra load of wash after that one. Silly little girl.”

The couple could fawn over their kids for an infinite amount of time, but a thud from the living room disrupted their banter. The two wore matching raised eyebrows while venturing into the room, being met with the sight of Rosie’s bottle tossed at the wall and the girl herself holding her feet up with her little hands in a split position while still strapped into her bouncer chair.

“Hey missy, throwing things isn’t nice. C’mon time to get dressed, can’t have nakey babies crawling in the garden can we? Neighbors might think we aren’t watchin’ after yeh well enough.” Her mother unstrapped her, bringing her to her chest to kiss her cheeks, her father deciding to chime in, “I think with that chubby tummy and those chunky thighs they’ll know our girl is more than taken care of.”

y/n bounced the baby in her arms, cooing at her and mocking Harry’s words with a baby voiced ‘is that true?! Rosie are you a chunky lady?’ which got them a chorus of baby laughs from the infant.

 Once y/n got both of her little ones changed as well as herself cleaned up and changed for the day, she took them back downstairs where their father was sitting on the couch glancing between his phone and the tv screen as he shoveled some cereal into his mouth.

Alfie made a b-line for his dad, excited to show him the outfit his mother had dressed him in for the day.

“Daddy! Daddy look! I got clothes on, mummy says I look handsome! Look I got turtles on my socks, daddy look!”  the little boy was over the moon about his clothes. Y/n had chosen some toddler size sweatpants, Alfies favorite t-shirt- a Gucci one Harry had got him which his wife thought was insane to dress a messy 3 year old in a 250 pound shirt, but their son loved it because his father wore the same brand- and some socks with little turtles as the print on them. It was going to be a pretty chill day at home so there was no need for fancy clothes.

“Oh my gosh! Bud you look very handsome, look at my dapper boy! Gimme five, big guy” Harry held his palm in the air, his son jumping to smack his much smaller one to his fathers, beaming from all the praise he’d gotten from his doting parents.

When Harry looked over at his wife holding his daughter his smile got even bigger. There stood his beautiful bride, clad in a pair of his black socks she liked to steal, some comfy adidas sweats and a t-shirt Harry had given her years ago. Her hair was in a sloppy bun, lips slightly shiny with some lip balm and only one earring in since Rosie had snatched the other stud from her right ear and tossed it somewhere Y/n too caught up in her children to even remember to take the second one out even after 2 weeks going by now.

His daughter was in a yellow polka dot onesie and her hair was in a little whale spout on the top of her head. His girl’s looked stunning in even the simplest of clothes, they were his angels and he adored them.

“And look at you girls! Little red head, you look dashing in that onesie! Red carpet ready my girl. And you miss yummy mummy, are stunning today. C’mere I want kisses from my ladies don’t be stingy.”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at her husband, even when she looked like she lived in a alley behind a gas station he still made a point to make her feel beautiful. Of course, she adored the way her husband talked to their baby girl too, they had a long talk while she was pregnant with her where Harry vowed to always build up their daughter from infancy till the day he died. No matter how old she is, what she was wearing, if she was covered in gunk from the sandbox or in her future prom dress, he promised to always let her know she was beautiful and loved. Harry never wanted his kids to feel any less than supported, validated and loved.

 It was around 1 in the afternoon when Rosie woke up from her first nap, nursing while Y/n and Harry sat together on the couch playing with Alfie and his blocks. The family had a quick bite to eat, hanging out just enjoying each other’s company. Y/n handed their daughter to Harry for him to burp her so she could refill Alfie’s sippy cup and grab both her and Harry some water.

After distributing the beverages she sat on the floor, playing with both her kids and holding Rosie up by her hands so she could dance around in her mothers grip. She loved to dance, she was always on the move crawling full speed everywhere and always squirming whenever she heard her fathers music.

Today the little girl had more in store for her parents, taking them both of them by surprise when she hoisted herself up to cruse holding onto the couch before looking right at her mother suddenly taking her first steps towards her.

Harry and Y/n both gasped, eyes wide and mouths showing huge grins while starting to cheer their baby on waving their hands and praising her whilst the baby took wobbly steps to her mom flopping into her chest before she was lifted in the air and spun around, excited cheers from the entire family as they celebrated her milestone.

“You’re walkin’ now Rosie! My big girl! Oh my gosh I’m so proud of you princess!”

Y/n tossed her into the air gently, catching her then setting her back on her feet letting her walk to her dad who was now in full blown celebration mode hands waving in the air while he cheered. His little girl toddled towards him, squealing as he scooped her up and kissed all over her face.

These were the moments he dreamed about his whole life, and he swears the dream didn’t even compare to the reality now. He’s never been happier.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles au #dad!harry #harry styles daddy #harry styles dad #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles x yn #harry styles x reader #harry styles concept #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles blog #harry styles angst

[cals-laundry]

Dirty Laundry

“But what? But you have so you can't atone? But you have so you deserve nothing?” Sero asks, but Denki knows better than to answer. “In here, right now, you're Denki Kaminari, I'm Hanta Sero, and neither of us have ever made a mistake.” “You'll hate me when you do know.” “I don't care,” Sero pulls him closer, “I don't hate you now.”

NSFW -  Minors dni please!  Relationship: Denki Kaminari x Hanta Sero Words: 3,595 Tags: trans! Denki, vague mentions of cheating, light angst, self deprecation. AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31501247

Tonight wasn't supposed to go this way. Denki sips and grimaces before letting whatever vile liquid is allowed to pass for beer dribble back into the cliché red cup. Or is he grimacing because Shinsou is right there? He's happy to convince himself that it's the beer. It's the music. It's the lights. It's anything but the gaping, unhealing wound in his chest at the sight of Shinsou. He looks like he always does; bored. His hoodie is too big, his jeans, tattered, and his boots scuffed. He's leaning against a wall, either blissfully unaware or willfully ignorant of Denki, and Denki doesn't want to consider which it could be. He wonders now if he should have tried harder. His skinny jeans and sneakers are plain enough, but he's not even sure this big white t-shirt is his.

Before Shinsou can catch him, he weaves through the crowd and finds the closest group of friends he can, though on the way, he puts his solo cup on a random counter. The piss taste still in his mouth is enough to remind him not to drink tonight. By his friends, he can ignore everything. He can lean on Jirou, laugh when they do, maybe even actually talk to them. But at every glance around, Shinsou is in his line of sight, and every time, that wound in his chest wrenches open again, and months of memories, of pining, of “goodnights” will rush back. It's not Shinsou's fault; he didn't know he was flirting. At least, Denki thinks he doesn't know. In an effort to seem absorbed in the conversation, and not key them into his faraway mind, Denki stares at Midoriya as he recites some funny work story. He's absorbed enough that he doesn't notice a body beside him, not until he leans back against the wall as he laughs and it's too late.

“Hey.”

Denki swallows a stone.

“Hey,” he replies with a shaky smile.

“Can we...” Shinsou juts his head towards the kitchen. Denki's feet know better than his head that he'll follow this man anywhere. So he does. The kitchen is empty, bright, and best of all, quieter.

Shinsou leans against one counter, hands in his hoodie pocket, one ankle crossed over the other. Denki stands opposite, though without anything for fidgeting, he clings to the counter until his knuckles turn white.

“Are we good?” Shinsou asks, airy and light and perfectly fine.

“Yeah,” Denki replies, breathless. Had he forgotten how to breathe because of this?

“You've just been sorta quiet,” Shinsou shrugs, “I thought maybe I'd done something.”

What, was leading me on not enough?

“No way, man,” Denki smiles bright as a plastic doll, “we're cool.”

And Shinsou believes him.

For a minute, Denki wonders if he could confess. Or if maybe he could just forget it all and they could go back to “goodnights”. But that minute is ruined in a way only Midoriya can manage.

“Hey, guys!” he bobs into the room like he's just run a marathon.

His freckled cheeks are pink, and Denki would say something back, but Midoriya is looking at Shinsou in that way, that same way Denki looks at Shinsou. They share a small smile, one that tells him all he needs to know. When Midoriya takes Shinsou's hand, he really tries to be angry, but in the tiny look Midoriya sends his way, there's only a pleading not to do what Denki did with the last love of Midoriya's life. The two share quiet words with their noses touching and Denki's discomfort is surely obvious. So he does all he can do.

“Gotta pee.”

And he leaves. He runs. Because he's a coward now and he was a coward then and he was a coward then. He takes a shuddering breath and makes for the stairs. Up here, the music still bangs through his feet, but it's not as loud somehow. He glances at the choice of doors and opens one. Bedroom. The next; an office. The third, another bedroom, but- Laughter. Bright bubbling beautiful laughter that makes him freeze. A girl he sort of knows, Mina, and a shock of red hair he definitely knows are on the bed, all with folded legs and a black haired boy he doesn't know. Mina waves, but Kirishima's smile falters when he looks over. Nausea sinks into the pit of his stomach and he waves back at Mina before he steps back.

“Sorry, I was looking for the bathroom,” he squeaks, but Mina stands.

“Nope, me first!” and she runs past him, giggling and smelling of flowers.

The silence in her wake makes Denki's stomach churn further. Kirishima's clenched jaw doesn't help.

“I don't think I know you,” the black haired boy says, seemingly oblivious to the tension.

“M'Denki Kaminari,” he rushes out and the boy lounges onto one elbow

“Sero,” he says simply, but he studies Denki. And Denki knows because he can feel the honey slow dribble of his gaze on every part of him.

He tries to return it, but Denki's never been one for slow and sensual. Sero, however, oozes the idea. He's still laid on his elbow, and the front of his already low buttoned shirt came further apart with the movement. His pants are black and high waisted enough to show off his ankles. In short; he looks good. Denki's throat dries as he takes in the look, and Sero...Sero loves it. His head falls back a little, and his already wide smile widens somehow.

“I'm gonna go get a drink,” Kirishima's voice is devoid of emotion, and the shoulder check as he leaves says everything he does.

As he rubs his shoulder, nausea comes back.

“He's not a fan?” Sero's voice calls him out of his spiral.

“Heh, not really,” Denki laughs as if he doesn't know Sero would hate him too.

“C'mere,” Sero pats the bed beside him, “I don't bite.”

Denki sits on the edge of the bed, his side to Sero, and Sero regards him with another curious look.

“You've got secrets, huh?”

“I mean,” Denki snorts a laugh, a more genuine one, “doesn't everyone?”

Sero shrugs.

“Probably.”

“Don't you?”

“Probably,” he says again and shuffles himself so his chin is in his palm and his side is pressed into the bed fully, “does it matter?”

The bile of his own secret's rise in Denki's throat and he swallows it.

“If they're bad, maybe they shouldn't be secrets,” Denki swallows again, “if we're bad, if we've done awful things, shouldn't we warn people?”

“Are you going to do it again?”

“No.”

“You seem certain you won't make the same mistake,” Sero's head tilts, as if he knows something, as if he knows more about Denki.

“Once was enough,” Denki's voice is quiet.

“Here, you haven't made any,” Sero is brave. He trails his fingertips up Denki's arm like he's done it a million times.

“But-”

“But what? But you have so you can't atone? But you have so you deserve nothing?” Sero asks, but Denki knows better than to answer.

“In here, right now, you're Denki Kaminari, I'm Hanta Sero, and neither of us have ever made a mistake.”

“You'll hate me when you do know.”

“I don't care,” Sero pulls him closer, “I don't hate you now.”

“You will,” Denki gasps as his legs tangle with Sero's.

“Then let me enjoy you while I don't,” Sero kisses his neck first in soft lines that tickle. Each one steals Denki's breath a little more until he lets out a tiny moan. And that little moan reminds him of all the reasons he shouldn't be here.

He shouldn't be leaning on Sero. He shouldn't be enjoying himself. He shouldn't be-

“I can hear your brain over thinking it,” Sero mumbles before he presses another kiss to Denki's jaw.

“I shouldn't...”

“Is there someone waiting for you?” the words make Denki shudder.

“No,” it's one word but it shakes like a speech.

Sero pushes him but follows the motion, now hovering over Denki. The length of his hair is more obvious here as it hangs down past his cheeks.

“Then we're not breaking any rules,” Sero leans in close, maneuvers his hips so they're slotted between Denki's, and with his forearms against the bed at either side of Denki's head, brushes the blonde back from his forehead, “be mine for a while.”

Sero's lips are soft on his, and Denki's hands card through those silky tresses. It's innocent, really, but the bite in Sero's teeth when he nips at Denki's bottom lip, the slightest grip of his hair, the smallest roll of his hips, it turns it to something else, something lewd. And Denki loses himself in it. For the first time in 6 months, he's not thinking about anything; not his faults, his mistakes, his treachery. But the world around him is not so forgiving.

“Is Kaminari still-”

Kirishima's words die off, and the pair look toward him. His eyebrow raises and he snorts.

“Never takes long, does it?” the bite behind his words is venomous.

“Do you need him for something?” Sero asks, still chest to chest with Denki.

“No, I need to talk to you.”

Denki knows what that means.

“Wait for me outside,” Sero whispers before he pulls away and helps Denki sit up. He shuffles out the door, avoids Kirishima's gaze, and tries to swallow the self hatred when he hears Sero say: “So, what's up?”

That's enough. He walks through the house with his head down, prays for peace, but the moment of reprieve from his self-made torture was too much in the world's eyes.

“The fuck are you doing here?” the snarl in Bakugou's voice makes Denki jump but he just keeps walking, desperate to be away from the noise, the anger, the hate of it all. But Bakugou is only getting started.

“I asked you a question, dunceface,” Bakugou's arm lands across his vision and Denki ducks.

“What, you're still being a pussy about it? Should have fuckin' known,” Bakugou jolts back and suddenly is surrounded by friends who laugh, not at Bakugou, but at Denki. He should hold his tongue, he knows he should.

“It took two, Bakugou.”

Their laughter dies and Denki walks away before he can suffer the consequences of his loud mouth. Somewhere behind him, he hears the shuffle of Bakugou's boots and the hushed words of one of his friends; “he's not worth it.”

No. He's not. The night air is cold enough to sting his throat. It brings tears to his eyes, but they're cast aside with a wipe of his sleeve. He doesn't deserve to cry. He could go now. He could go to his own place, ignore Sero's offer, and instead, cry in bed. It would be better than this constant, sickening reminder.

“Ready?”

Sero's voice breaks him out of his pity party.

“For what?”

“We're going to my place, it's like five minutes away,” Sero shrugs, “we don't have to do anything you don't want to, and I promise, I'll get you a cab home. But I still want you to be mine for a little while longer.”

*

Sero's home is bright and very...green. The walls are pale and the decor natural and it suits him. Sero guides him through with a hand on his lower back, and it's only as the door opens that Denki realises where Sero is leading him.

“You can say “no” any time,” Sero says with a small kiss to Denki's shoulder. In the same breath, he lays on the low bed and holds a hand out to Denki to join him. Denki's mind races with what Kirishima could have admitted on his behalf as he takes Sero's hand.

Would he really be inviting him to bed if he knew? Sero pulls him down until they're tangled and rolls so they're side by side.

“Denki,” Sero breathes out, like he's discovered the name of a mystery song, a beautiful one that plagued him.

He kisses Denki again, softer this time, but without the background noise of the houseparty, his thoughts are so much harder to ignore. At the same time, Sero's curious hands are just as hard to ignore. The rough pads of his fingers tickle the skin of Denki's stomach and he laughs.

“Oh?” Sero smiles, “is that a real laugh?”

His fingers creep higher and now, the tickles are intentional. They shriek and laugh and wiggle around the bed together, until Denki pleads “no more” with tears on his cheeks. They fall beside each other, panting, and for the second time today, Denki's mind is empty. It's pleasant. With his eyes still on the ceiling, he reaches out, shy, as if he hadn't already tasted Sero's lips. He finds Sero's hand and from the corner of his eye, he sees the smile on Sero's face. He fixes his stare on the ceiling again and wills himself to stay here, like this, where it's safe and quiet. The bed moves beside him and Sero's chest presses to his shoulder. He sneaks an arm under Denki's head as his other hand lands on Denki's stomach. The mood shifts; the playfulness turns sultry and thick. Sero's hands are so busy; one toys with Denki's hair, the other dances over his stomach, well past his belly button. His lips press to Denki's ear and he nips at the lobe before he kisses his way down, a little lower, until their lips meet at the same moment his hand cups Denki's crotch. Out of shock and pleasure, Denki gasps, and his hips buck up against Sero's hand, but their kiss steals every sound. It takes a moment for Denki to realise how hard he's clinging to Sero's shirt, hard enough that he's stretching the fabric to the point of bumping it, but Sero says nothing, only traces circles that make Denki moan. Sero pulls back the barest inch.

“You're just the prettiest thing,” he murmurs as his fingers card through Denki's messy hair, “is that okay to say?”

Denki nods, terrified that his words have been stolen in favour of moans and pleas. Sero kisses his cheek as his fingertips press just a little harder and pure pleasure blossoms through Denki's abdomen. Sero kisses where he can, tugs his hair, bites marks that'll bloom by morning, and with every pass of his fingers, steals the breath right from him. He whines when Sero's touch leaves but he's soothed with a quiet “shh, it's just for a second,” as Sero undoes his jeans. With some wiggling and pushing, they're just low enough for Sero's middle finger to slip between Denki's folds.

“Wow,” he whispers – more to himself than to Denki – as he pulls his finger away. A string of glittering slick connects Sero's finger to Denki and if it didn't make Denki's mouth water, he'd die of embarrassment.

“Wow,” he mirrors instead.

Sero's nose against his cheek draws his attention and he turns back toward him. The kiss that meets him is harsh and sloppy as two fingers slip into Denki's cunt.

“M'gonna eat you out until you cry sometime,” Sero growls against his lips between kisses.

Sometime.

Sero is enjoying him. Sero doesn't hate him. And every vile emotion that was quelled by kisses crashes back into Denki's gut.

“Ser-”

“Hanta,” he says, breathless, “call me Hanta.”

“Hanta, you...didn't Kirishima tell you?”

Hanta's fingers slip from him and he stands from the bed. But he's not leaving; instead he pulls Denki's shoes off and tugs his jeans and underwear off the rest of the way.

“He didn't tell me anything because I didn't want to know,” he undoes his own jeans and pushes them down, slow enough that it aches.

“I don't care about what you've done,” he steps from the pool of his trousers and nudges Denki's legs wider with his knee, “I only care about what we do.”

Denki watches him with doe eyes, his lungs empty. Until Hanta captures him in another soft kiss.

“Everyone makes mistakes, Denki,” the tip of him presses to Denki's entrance.

“But here, you're a saint,” he presses in, eyes on Denki's.

“And fully intend to worship you,” his elbows rest at either side of Denki's head, they cage him but it's not claustrophobic. It's safe. It's warm and comfortable, and this moment – truly alone and utterly unhindered – is one Denki wants to repeat over and over, until it's all he knows, until his sins are forgotten and his mind is free of them. If Hanta, kind, wonderful, beautiful Hanta, can forgive him, surely he can forgive himself too? The steady rhythm of Hanta's hips and every praise he litters on Denki's skin are enough to make his mind go blank again. And instead of fighting it to confess, he lets his head roll back against the bed and he lets Hanta take him apart, piece by piece, thrust by thrust, until he knows nothing but pleasure. His moans are soft, cutesy almost, and Hanta tells him so.

“You get gruffer during sex, you know,” Denki giggles.

“Oh yeah?” he thrusts hard and Denki's giggles turn to a squeak, “how?”

“You're all growls and all that, before you were just so...restful. Now you're gripping the bedsheets so hard, they'll never sit right again,” Denki giggles again, but it's not genuine. Hanta chuckles, but it's a dark sound, and the tip of his nose tickles the skin of Denki's jaw and along his throat.

“Maybe I should be gripping that pretty throat of yours instead, hmm?” he rumbles and Denki whines.

“You want marks, pretty boy?” Hanta nips at the skin of Denki's throat, and the way his back arches, Hanta takes as a 'yes'. He sucks and bites and savours every piece of skin he can find, though he offers Denki no chance to return it. His whines are louder now and his nails dig into Hanta's shoulders, no doubt leaving marks of their own.

“You're squeezing me so much,” Hanta trails to a groan, “y'gonna cum on me, sunshine? Hmm?”

Denki nods frantically – he just needs that tiny push. And Hanta plays his body as if he's returning to an old passion and grinds his hips in a way that rubs Denki's clit just right. His toes curl and his back arches and he moans Hanta's name as he keeps pressing just where Denki needs until Denki's words die and he gasps for breath behind his arm. At that, Hanta kisses him again.

“I want to see that again,” he pants against Denki's lips, “I want to see that a million times, but God fucking damnit, you looked so good, I can't wait, I'm so close.”

Pretty fingers lace through Hanta's hair as Denki pulls him into another kiss.

“Please, please, please,” he repeats between kisses, “wanna see you cum, you're so good, you're perfect, please.”

It turns to nonsense, and Denki can't believe that it's his incoherent begging that has Hanta pulling out just in time to splash cum up the stomach of Denki's t-shirt with a whine of his name.

They stare at the puddle for a moment before Hanta laughs a little.

“Sorry, got a bit lost in it all,” stands from the bed to move off to Denki's side, and Denki follows on shaking knees.

“S'okay,” the bliss of the moment has passed. Denki can feel the dread of the eventual 'here's your cab fare' in the best case scenario, but as he reaches for his jeans, Hanta's head tilts.

“Do you sleep with jeans on?” he looks like a confused pup.

“No?”

“Then why are you getting them?”

“T-to leave.”

“You think I don't have intentions of having you for breakfast too?” he grabs Denki's waist and pulls him until the stain of cum before his eyes, “only if you want, that is. I'll give you actual breakfast too!”

He sounds like he's bargaining and Denki laughs. Really, this time.

“I-I don't want to get in the way or assume,” he says quietly with a kiss to Hanta's hair.

“Then let me be clear,” Hanta stands and pulls Denki's shirt up as he does, edges it higher and higher until he's free of it and casts it across the room somewhere, “get into bed with me,” he takes off his own shirt and presses it into Denki's hands, “and in the morning, I'll either make you breakfast, or make you breakfast. Or both.”

He kisses Denki's nose and skirts around him before disappearing out the door. The shirt in his hands is still warm. Denki sheds his binder over to where his jeans should be, and when he slips on the shirt, it smells like Hanta. Not like any cologne or specific scent, just him. He turns in the mirror and admires the way it dances over his thighs. It isn't until Hanta's hands land on his hips that he's taken from the moment.

“Looks good on you,” Hanta kisses the side of his neck and their eyes meet in the mirror.

The gaze is a hungry one first, but in those eyes, Denki can see understanding, kindness, and forgiveness. Hanta pulls him into bed, wraps an arm around him, and kisses the back of his neck for good measure. Hanta would know his secrets. But Denki doesn't doubt that he'll understand them. In the quiet snores, Denki finds himself comfortable and at peace for the first time in a while. All he can do is pray that it lasts.

#bnha #bnha fanfic #kaminari x denki #trans! denki #kamisero

[ask-breekon-and-hope]

𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖾𝗄𝗈𝗇

I DON’T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT MYSELF INDIVIDUALLY.

𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗈𝗇. 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝗎𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋’𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗒, 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝗎𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗆𝖾𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋.

𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍: 𝟤𝟢𝟢𝟣

𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗌: 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗇 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌, 𝗊𝗉𝗋 𝖻&𝗁

𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗋’𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾: 𝗂 𝖼𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗎𝗉 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗍, 𝗀𝖺𝗒𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖾𝗑𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇. 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗇𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝗀𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗌.

𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 | 𝖺𝗈𝟥 | 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍

He spent decades with them. It took as long for him to choose his name, and he did not put as much thought into it as they did.

The entity that was not Breekon and Hope yet traveled. It fed on the Fears it facilitated; it knew which Fear it was part of, but it did not know the name until Robert Smirke labeled the fourteen centuries later. It was still medieval times, and during this time it discovered gender and sexuality and identity. It did not have a name, but it existed. It was building an identity.

He didn’t spend any time away from them. Together, it watched kingdoms rise and fall and kings go to war and princesses be married off and fear ran rampant throughout it all, and it studied the humans. He spent a few years as a delivery man with them, and both relished in the Fear that followed it, curling around its ankles as it walked and spreading outwards as the Fears themselves spread outwards, forming and shaping around human and animal thoughts, following humans as they evolved and discovered things like lies, and false smiles and the shadows hiding the unknown and faces and words twisted into cruelty, into rot and decay and pain and everything else the Fears fed on. It learned human languages; it took part in a few political debates in the medieval ages, when the Stranger pushed at it and the Spiral lay there ripe and waiting to inject itself into the words of kings and queens and embassies and royal ambassadors.

He never left them. He would never leave them, because he was them and they were him. The entity that was not Breekon and Hope yet understood the importance of itself, and understood that it was not alone. Its other half was as important as it as a whole was, for it with only one half was lonely, and it did not want to be alone.

He was not technically the older one. It had been one entity, and then it had been two. The only real difference was that he happened to be the half formed with more of the comprehension it had as a whole - he was made understanding languages already, and the few nuances of Fear and humans that it had learned in its time being. They were formed with only the desire to exist and not be alone; they understood only to not leave him, and that they wanted a form.

So he wasn’t technically the older one, but he acted like he was. He thought as if he was - he looked at them, almost the same as him except that they had a little longer, darker hair, and their features were a little rounder and softer, and he felt protectiveness rise in him. He knew it was because he was them, and he would want to keep something that was part of himself, but it went both ways. They trusted him just as much, and after they had formed on the sheer desire to exist, he knew it was possible that they could just as easily turn him away as to keep him close.

He was a little overwhelmed with all of this new sensation - with the formation of them, and the banishment of loneliness, came all the things associated with company. It did not much like to talk, not even to itself - but that was because it didn’t need to. It shared thoughts between its two halves, and he found that he liked it when they were happy. They smiled for the first time in their new body, and he felt he had done something right. He smiled as well - and that felt nice, too.

Speaking was not the only thing. Now, he looked back - he looked back when he opened doors, to allow them through; he looked back when they stopped to study whatever new things the humans had made; he looked back when he could no longer feel them behind him, close and moving as easily with him as breathing, and for the first time he felt fear.

That was after he chose his name, however - and a story for another time.

He looked back, and he always knew where they were as much as they knew where he was, and he shared thoughts and desires with them and every time he made them happy, their smile set something strange alight in him. He did not know what it was for centuries - at least, he couldn’t put a name to it. He didn’t want to put a name to it, really. It was simply how he was with them. There was no other way to be with them; having a relationship anything other than what it was was something neither he nor they could imagine.

He chose his name partly because of the feelings that came with company, that came with seeing them and wanting to keep them with him. It took the humans years after it split for the first time to come up with the word, and he did not learn of it for another two years, when they went inside a bookstore and read to him a passage.

The book was about a princess and a knight, as all the stories were. But the difference with this was- the princess was a girl, and so was the knight, and they had seen each other before the princess had gone.

They read it to him, and he found himself strangely captivated, in a way most other human inventions and stories didn’t. Then again, it was them reading it. He had found he couldn’t really not pay attention to them.

The princess knew the knight’s habits - she had spent days with her, riding horses, talking, and all manner of other things, when the princess lost her bodyguards and ran away with the knight. He felt the sliver of Fear as they read the words of the princess’ kidnapping, how she was taken, and for the first time, he wanted more.

Not more Fear, no - the story held no more Fear, he could sense that. He wanted more story. He wanted to know what happened to them, to the two girls who were separated and which only one of them had the power to rescue the other. Not for vanity, not for the triumph of marrying the girl, but simply because the knight had known her before and she wanted the princess to stay with her.

The princess lit a beacon, the story read. She lit a beacon into the night, and though her escape attempt failed and she was taken back, the knight knew where she was now. The knight arrived within two days, and in a day she had the princess back with her.

Beacon, he thought. A light to guide another’s way, a light to guide the person it was meant for.

They stopped reading the story, and looked up at him. He simply smiled, nodded, and thought about beacon.

“Beacon?” they asked, sitting in one of the human establishments. It needed to sleep, eventually, and it had discovered beds were quite comfortable. He laid next to them, in the same bed - it wasn’t awkward. Both knew the other was close, and so they slept, and then they woke, and it was simply how things went.

He hummed. “You’ve been thinking about it,” they continued. That wasn’t out of place - the two did share thoughts, and if he thought hard enough about something, it would convey itself automatically to them, and vice versa. Most of the time, though, neither wanted to keep thoughts to themselves, anyway. Their thoughts just flowed between each other, and keeping track of them all was not entirely that important, as long as they were still connected.

“The word sounds nice,” he replied.

They were quiet, but he could feel their thinking - he trusted them enough not to hone in on every thought they had, but he simply satisfied himself with the feeling that they were thinking, considering things.

It was a long few moments. Usually there were long moments, sometimes hours, where neither of them would talk at all, and would simply sit together, feeling the others emotions and thoughts in a vague, comfortable sense of connectedness to the other.

“I think I am Beacon,” he said, just as he felt them feel that thought from him too, the way the word sat in him and was him, the way it felt in his mouth and referring to himself.

It was off, slightly. He was Beacon… but he wasn’t. There was something missing.

“Because it’s a guiding light?” they asked, a slight teasing tone to their voice. “Romantic of you. Like the humans.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, but I am not human.”

“We aren’t human,” they revised. His mouth twitched in a small smile, as he felt the line of their arm against his as they lay staring at the ceiling, studying the shadows. On nights like this, the low hum and churn of Fear even became background noise, to the small bubble that the two put themselves in, warmth woven around them.

“Not romantic if we’re not human,” he said.

“Thought you didn’t like the philosophers’ debates.”

“I don’t.”

They sighed in warm exasperation. He turned to his side, and they eventually turned to face him, sensing his thoughts running confused, considering, serious.

“Beacon,” they said, and he frowned. That was wrong.

“No.”

They raised one eyebrow, and didn’t try to make conclusions from the thoughts running through his head.

“Still searching, then?” they asked. He shook his head at that, too.

“I am Beacon. I need to… change it. Twist it.”

He furrowed his brows in thought. Beacon was too general a word. He was not a beacon, he was- their beacon. Theirs specifically, and only theirs. And he didn’t know how to convey that, once he found that conclusion.

They didn’t comment on the clear thought that pierced through the confusion, coming from him, that he was their beacon. It was not romantic. They just knew that was how it was. Neither considered it romantic, when thinking that way came so naturally and easily, and romance as the humans put it was something big and bold and new. This was not new; this was old, and like a well-worn cover of a book, or a loved and frayed blanket.

He thought. They said the word weirdly. They still hadn’t learned human speech entirely, and their words came out just slightly off. He always knew what they were saying, because he could feel the intention behind the pronunciation with the stream of shared thoughts, but now he focused on how they said it.

Beacon. There was a slight rumble there, a slip into an r between the b and the e. It was an easier shape than be, he knew, but this was theirs. He was their beacon, and this was theirs.

“Breekon,” he said, at the same time his thoughts were processed by them, and they felt how right it was at the same time he did.

“Bre-rkon,” they said, struggling even with the ee sound in the middle anyway, and he can’t help but smile.

“Yeah,” he said. They hummed as the two went back to laying on their backs, settling into the night, the energy between them mellowing.

“Sounds right,” they said.

Breekon, he repeated in his mind. Breekon. Beacon. Breekon.

It comes out in their voice, in his head. Every time, and he thinks that yeah, this is him. He will keep the sound of them slipping an r between the letters, and the way the name fits in their mouth and how he himself says it.

It doesn’t feel monumental, really. It’s not something life-changing - he’s just found a piece of who he is, and it’s only natural for that piece, such an important part of him, to still be intrinsically linked to them.

𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍

#the magnus archives #breekon and hope #tma breekon #b&h/story

[rutobuka2]

Hi! :) I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore your art, especially your comics (your style is to die for, it always gives me this heartwarming feeling) I'm particulary impressed with how you compose the comic page, with the panels and the angles. If it's not too much to ask, could you share some advice?

aw gosh thank you ;~; that honestly makes me so happy!!!

click for an entire paper geeking out about comic-making because I have no self-control ⬇️

I’ve never really done a deep research on the study of panel-making, but I have read at least one Scott McCloud book on making comics in general (I’m sure you can find his books online for reference) for my art university thesis. Two things he proposed on his book that have stuck with me are:

1- You need to give people “reason” to turn the page. So I interpreted that as a small cliffhanger on each page, so people are at least curious to know how the story ends, (even if my stories are pretty obvious, I don’t go for high drama too often, or violence, so most people already know everything will end well lol) at least the viewer will want to look at what the characters will feel with the development of the story. So I focus on the quality of the art, humor/feeling, and those small cliffhangers!

2- One of the things I think he mentions (omg it’s been a while) is that western comics have bigger jumps in time between every panel, while japanese manga have smaller jumps. Like, you don’t usually see the progression between [a cup on the table] -> [a hand reaching over] -> [the cup being brought to the character’s lips] on a western comic like you see often in manga. I like both styles, so my temporal jumps vary a lot between them, depending on what kind of message I’m trying to convey! Use that to your advantage to jump ahead on time, or to slow down a lot and really make drama with a small action!

About the general panel layout of my comics, though, I try to stick to a general rule of having few focus spots on each page. Of course it depends on your style, but having too many “explosions” and clutter in EVERY panel will be really hard to understand, right? Try to focus each page for one inciting incident, and I bet it’ll help out with decluttering your story. It helps out a lot if you thumbnail the entire story before starting to work on the lineart of each page. So if you feel as if a page is too chaotic/too many things happening, you can divide it into many pages.

I do angular panels usually when I want the story to read less organized, faster, since anything outside of 90° angles look like arrows! So it’s a bit of a resource to help out on making the page more dynamic? I don’t know if that’s just me creating my weird theories, or if it’s a legit method, though! 

The way I make certain elements jump out of panels is totally instinctual, however, lol! I do that based on manga (if you couldn’t already tell, I’m a big weeb), so don’t be afraid to take inspiration from your favorite stories/comics! Sometimes I want a certain scene to happen in a panel, and the limbs don’t fit, or I want the entire head to be a major focus, so I just have the characters leaking out of the panel! Like if it’s jjjjjjusssstttt a little bit that’s being cut by the panel border, just nudge the entire character out, let it breathe, especially if that panel is one of the major plot points! (But of course, for one thing to look scrumptious and jump out, the rest should look subdued/normal! So try to act according to your aesthetic sense!)

One thing that I admit is probably really unorthodox and bad is the way I draw speech bubbles, lol. I depend 100% on digital software to write/draw the bubbles on top of the entire page... That’s one thing that you HAVE to exercise while drawing the thumbnails of your pages! You HAAAAVE to write the entire dialogue on the sketch or you’ll end up with zero space to write on your bubbles! I know manga artists draw the speech bubbles “with” the characters, even if they have to correct the lines later, it’s easier to know what will be covered up by a huge speech bubble/what you can just skip on drawing! Honestly like 99% of my comic pages are fully drawn behind the speech bubbles, but I have to shed a tear and cover that pretty hand or ass I drew with dialogue because... sadly, words matter a lot! AND USE A LEGIBLE FONT!!! Ask your friends if your handwriting is good, or go to dafont and pick a nice comic font, don’t go for crazy spooky halloween bone fonts for speech!!! The worst thing in the world is a comic you can’t even read!

Also, don’t be afraid of empty spaces in your comic. It needs to look good, most and foremost, so don’t worry about the story being longer if it means you got the message across.

A last advice is: design matters a lot! If your page isn’t working, try rearranging everything in the thumbnail phase, and shout out to your designer friends for their hard work! It’s so essential, but us artists tend to think it’s unnecessary... :P

anyway, sorry for the huge text!!! hope this helps!!!!!!! ^^

#ruto's faq #unabletoinhale

[jihyuncompass]

Hello! Can I request a scenario where MC is freaking out because she thinks RFA wants to break up with her after a fight? Thabks for the good writing headcanons, I love reading them :)

I’m glad you like reading them! I like writing them :) 

Note: I just added the main RFA in here, if you or anyone else wants me too I would be happy to add in V and Saeran. 

Zen

I kind of wrote something like this in another headcanon but I’m gonna reimagine that a little. 

The two of you didn’t fight often, but Zen had a bad habit of getting angry about certain things and sometimes it would end up becoming a fight.

Most of the time Zen just needed to blow off some steam and he’d be fine but after one particular fight it wasn’t like that. 

Zen generally didn’t stay upset for a long time, but this particular time was different. It had been days since you two had argued and he still was clearly upset. 

After a couple of days you started to think that maybe this was the end of your relationship. Maybe the reason Zen wasn’t trying to fix things with you was because he was trying to break up with you. 

Sitting on the floor of your shared bedroom, you start to panic. You love Zen you don’t want to break up with him! 

You kept thinking about what you would do, where you would go, but even the very thought of breaking up made you cry harder. 

When Zen got back from his run he saw you sitting on the floor. Seeing you like that worried him instantly. 

From Zen’s perspective he hadn’t intended to act so badly towards you. Money was tight and gigs weren’t coming as quickly as they should be. He was stressed and anxious, and he hadn’t realized how much it had affected you. 

He went into the bedroom and sat down in front of you. He tried to reach for your hand but you pulled away from him. 

“Babe, what’s going on?” He asked. 

“Zen.” You couldn’t look in his eyes, just him being there felt like too much. “Do you want to break up?” 

Zen was absolutely speechless, “Babe, why would you think I want to break up with you?” 

“You’ve been so angry the past few days I guess I thought-” You shook your head, unable to keep talking. 

The realization of his behavior for the past week hit him like a truck as he reached out to hold your shoulders. 

He apologized, holding you as tight as he could. After having a long conversation that morning he spent the rest of that day and the next few after that making sure that you knew just how much he loved you and how much he cares. 

Yoosung

The two of you fought from time to time but not super often. 

Yoosung was a pretty emotional guy so sometimes the anger would just overwhelm him. 

The two of you had gotten into an argument earlier that day before Yoosung had left for his classes for the day. 

The two of you usually texted each other throughout the day whenever he was in between classes. You had sent him a few texts apologizing and asking him to call you when he had a moment. 

You saw that he had read the messages but he didn’t respond. You sat waiting for him to answer getting more and more anxious the more time that passed.

In the past even during your worst fights he never left you on read, the two of you were always felt determined to try and solve the issue but you could tell this was different. 

Trying to keep yourself from getting too worked up you tried to think of what to do. What if this was the last straw fro him? What if this is what ended your relationship? 

You didn’t want that to happen but you didn’t want to stay in a relationship that he didn’t want to be in.Trying not to be too rash you sat in the apartment, waiting for him to come back. 

When Yoosung finally got home you could barely look at him. Your hands were shaking and you couldn’t help but feel like this was the end. 

“Can we talk?” You asked him.

The two of you sat next to each other, talking back and forth, you both apologized for how you had acted ruing the fight. Despite that though, the tension you were holding wasn’t going away. 

You asked him if you still wanted to stay together even after this fight. When you asked the question Yoosung looked appalled. 

“Of course I want to stay together! Do you want that?”

Hearing that was like a huge relief, the weight finally coming off of your shoulders. You sighed and hugged him tight, grateful that the conversation hadn’t ended the way you thought it would earlier that day. 

Jaehee

Things are the cafe were stressful to say the least. 

The two of you had become busier than ever and by the end of every day the two of you were exhausted. 

The original fight started because you had accidentally misordered something for the cafe. And while it wasn’t the end of the world by any means it was just another thing to add to the list of stressors that day. 

You hadn’t fought openly but Jaehee was acting coldly towards you. 

As much as you tried to ignore the thought in your head you couldn’t fight the worry that maybe Jaehee was done with you. Perhaps you had made one mistake too many and now you had to deal with the consequences. 

The worry was only getting worse as you kept working. Continuously looking over at Jaehee to see the expression on her face, if she was looking at you, or even showing any regard towards you. 

Near the later evening when things began to slow down you had excused yourself. Going into the back storage room to try and calm yourself down. 

There all the thoughts overwhelmed you, maybe it was the coffee you had earlier in the day but your heart felt like it was going to beat right out of your chest. 

You weren’t sure how long it was but Jaehee eventually came looking for you, and when she found you panicking in the back room she felt the guilt set in. 

The truth was that Jaehee knew that she had a bad habit of doing this. Whenever work got extremely stressful she would end up acting cold without meaning too. It happened a lot more when she worked for Jumin but she hadn’t ever really gotten this way with you. 

When you saw Jaehee you started to apologize, feeling guilty for your mistake, for leaving, for getting upset, all of the above. She took a seat on the floor next to you. 

Before you could even finish your speech Jaehee stopped you. Insisting that the mistake wasn’t a big deal and how sorry she was for how she had acted towards you. 

 Together you vented the stress you were feeling about the cafe, about how much the work was, about how busy it was getting. The cafe was always meant to be a passion project between the two of you. The business was basically your child together. 

But after this you both agreed that maybe it was time to look at hiring some extra help. So maybe you both could sleep better and actually take days off. 

Sitting in the backroom together, you both took a break. A long needed one. 

Jumin

Being in a relationship with Jumin Han had a lot of perks. But there were also some not great things.

It wasn’t Jumin himself though! He was great, but some of the people in had in his life was another story. 

Because of his job he frequently had dinners and fancy events to attend. All of which were hosted and attended by many other prominent people in Jumin’s line of work. 

One of the hardest things to learn was how to act in front of these people. What the proper things to say were, how to behave, how to eat, breathe, dress, just exist around them. 

Over time it had gotten easier, but sometimes mistakes happened. 

You had made a bit of a blunder during an important dinner. At the time you hadn’t thought it was a big deal but after you had gotten home you could tell Jumin wasn’t happy. 

The two of you had ended up in a fight. And eventually you had just walked away going into the bedroom to try and calm down. Sitting on your bed you attempted to focus on anything other than the fight. 

You loved Jumin, you knew that but it was moments like this where your anxiety started to bubble up. He was so smart and important, and you, well you were just you. 

Why would someone like Jumin want to be in a relationship with someone like you? There’s a thousand other people he could date who wouldn’t make the same mistake you did. 

Looking out the large windows of the Penthouse you thought about what your options were. If the two of you ended up breaking up you would need to figure out a place to go, what you were going to do, could you even stay in the RFA? 

Before long Jumin was knocking on the door. You didn’t say anything but he let himself in anyways, as much as you wanted to you couldn’t force yourself to look him in the eyes while he walked over to you. 

He kneeled down on the floor so you had to look at him. 

“Maybe we should break up.” You started. 

“Why do you think that?” Jumin asked you.

“Because-” You found yourself sniffling. “I’m not good enough for you, I don’t know all these things you know, and I’m sure there’s someone way better than me who does.” You explained. 

Jumin’s hands went to cup your cheeks, coming closer to you so all you could see was him. 

“You are more than good enough.” He started. “It isn’t your fault and I shouldn’t have lost my temper with you. I’m sorry.” Looking into his eyes you saw the sparks of emotion that went across his face. “I love you. And I have no intentions of ever leaving you.” 

A shaky sigh escaped your lips and you rested your forehead against his. Even though your chest was still aching you felt slightly reassured by his words. 

Seven/Saeyoung

Things between you and Saeyoung were good a vast majority of the time. The two of you were close and got along really well. 

But Saeyoung wasn’t exactly very good at dealing with stress. So when things got difficult, arguments started having more often. 

Ever since Saeran been removed from Mint Eye his recovery was slow. There were some days when things were terrible. And those days were also the worst for Saeyoung. 

Seeing his brother in pain made him hurt, and he wasn’t very good at dealing with that hurt. 

At a point Saeyoung had just walked away to go check on Saeran. After the door slammed behind him you stood in silence for a moment. You pushed your hair from your eyes and focused on your breathing. 

You thought about before the two of you had gotten together, sitting in Rika’s apartment with Saeyoung refusing to engage with you. Looking around your shared bedroom you grabbed your backpack.

Even if Saeyoung hadn’t broken up with you yet somehow you could feel that it was coming.

He had enough on his plate to deal with, between the RFA, and Saeran why would you think he could also handle you too? 

You didn’t grab everything, but you took some clothes with you. Rubbing your eyes you left the bedroom and started quietly heading to the front door of the bunker. 

Before you get to the door Saeyoung saw you. The moment you both saw each other you stopped. You hoped that he wouldn’t see you trying to leave. You hoped you could have just called him later but that was obviously no longer and option. 

Saeyoung’s eyes traveled from your face to the backpack on your shoulders, then back up to you. “Where are you going?” He asked. 

“I think maybe we just need a break.” You said. “You have more than enough to deal with already.” 

After a moment and realizing what it was you were saying Saeyoung shook his head, realizing what you meant. 

“Don’t go, please.” Saeyoung said. 

“Maybe you’d be able to take better care of your brother if I’m not here.” You explained to him. 

“No, that’s not true.” He started moving closer to you. “Right now you’re the one thing keeping me sane. I can’t do all of this alone.” Now it seemed that it was Saeyoung who was starting to panic. 

“Saeyoung.” You dropped the backpack onto the ground, hoping it would make him feel less panicked. “Please just, I know things are really stressful but you can’t just lash out when you’re angry.” 

You walked over to him and stood face to face with him. He took your hand. He didn’t speak right away but looking at him you knew that you were going to stay. 

#requests #mystic messenger #mysme #zen #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #707 #luciel choi #mysme zen #mysme yoosung #mysme jaehee #mysme jumin #mysme 707 #mysme mc

[glo-up-goddess]

Okay! So to all my queers and gays who were deeply disappointed with The Happiest Season, I’d like to share with you all something I just sent a friend who asked me about what my fantasy re-write of the movie would be. Now...be gentle with me, I have NEVER even ATTEMPTED anything close to screen writing ever before, but I tried, and I liked it and I wanted to share? So....here goes nothing:

Okay, my rewrite ending is that Jon takes Abby home and stays with her for the night. The gas station scene with Harper showing up does NOT happen. They have another talk about how just because Harper isn't ready to come out doesn't speak to her love for Abby but it also doesn't excuse her actions...to try to cheer Abby up/distract her, he admits to killing the fish. Abby laughs and as she is drifting off to sleep, Riley messages her just to check in and let her know she's here for her cause solidarity ✊🏽. The next day, Harper shows up and John is super protective but Abby gives him the okay that she at least wants to hear Harper out, they have a conversation in John's kitchen that goes something along the lines of: (don't laugh at me I've never tried screen writing!!)

Harper hesitantly approaches Abby and stops short at the kitchen counter, eyes glossy with tears and lower lip trembling.

There is an awkward silence.

Harper: I....was awful to you.

Abby: *wraps her arms around herself* I think we've pretty much established that somewhere between breaking up and you screaming at your parents that you aren't gay right in front of me and about 100 other people...*she looks away, trying to keep the tears trekking down her face hidden*

Harper: *Takes a step closer* I know...I know, and I'm so sorry *she takes a shuddering breath* but I also know that "I'm sorry" isn't good enough but I, at the very least, needed you to know that I own up to how absolutely shitty I was being. I put you back in the closet, I lied to you, I gaslit you, I didn't defend you, I hurt you in a really vicious and vulnerable way all because I was too afraid to even admit how terrified I was and that wasn't fair to you, to the life we built together, to the love that we h- the love that we *she swallows, hard, forcing out the word* the love we had

Abby: *she wipes at her face which is red and splotchy from her tears and a sudden rush of anger* you're right, sorry isn't good enough, Harper how can I...I was gonna...*she sighs, digging into her pocket and sets the engagement ring on the counter, it clatters a tiny bit as she sets it down*

Harper stares at the ring in a stunned silence, her jaw dropping, fresh tears coming in earnest.

Harper: that's why you were so excited to c-

Abby: *cutting her off* yeah, I was going to ask your dad for his permission, big traditional gay Christmas, and instead I got shoved aside for Connor, accused of being a thief, told that I was suffocating, and pretty much denounced in front of your entire family

From that point, Harper gives her speech that she gave in the gas station scene but instead of immediately taking Harper back, she thanks her but tells her she needs time.

Montoge of them both spending Christmas separately. Harper sits with Jane and learns about her book, their dad sits with Sloane and learns more about her gift baskets. Riley FaceTimes Abby to wish her a Merry Christmas and eventually comes over hours later and hangs out with her and John, we see Abby and Riley's connection growing.

Finally, the montoge ends and it's now the day before New Year's Eve. Abby is alone in her bedroom staring at pictures on her phone of Harper that eventually fade into lighthearted Christmas selfies of her, John, and Riley, Abby lingers on a picture that's just her and Riley, she smiles the first genuine smile in about a week. She begins to make a phone call but the audience doesn't see who she's calling, we only hear "what are you doing New Years Eve?" To a time lapse scene of her getting ready for the plans she made over the phone. She finally arrives at a local club where she sees Riley and John, she gives them each a hug and Riley gives her a knowing smile and a wink before shoving her over to where Harper is waiting for her, alone and fidgeting.

Abby goes over to her and gives her a small half smile as she plops down into the seat across from her.

Abby: you can be....such an asshole sometimes. Plus you snore, you hog the covers, and your cooking...leaves a lot to be desired

Harper deflates a little, twisting in her chair ever so slightly as if to leave but Abby grabs her hand and laces their fingers together.

Abby: but...you're also brilliant, and you always make my coffee just right, and you sing in the shower when you're happy, and even though I'm not...ready to propose after what happened...I'm not ready to call it quits just yet

The count down to midnight begins

Abby: do you still want to be my girlfriend?

Harper gives a watery chuckle, eyes brimming over with tears, the count down is continuing as she leans over the table and kisses Abby as the clock strikes midnight, the cacphony of the new year muted as they share an intimate kiss inside their soft romantic bubble.

The rest of the movie ends the same with the IG post montoge, Jane's book reading, and the A Wonderful Life movie theatre scene and all that.

#happiest season #kristen stewart #aubrey plaza #dan levy #happiest season ending rewrite #I tried screen writing #please be gentle #I just wanted the happy gay ending we deserved but like also ACCOUNTABILITY #if you liked happiest season as is because of the trauma of coming out for some people that’s valid #but Harper was HORRIBLE to Abby and never really took any accountability for that #your fear and trauma EXPLAINS your actions but it doesn’t excuse it #Abby deserved better and shouldn’t have taken Harper back so readily #we deserved more from this movie #and we shouldn’t have to accept scraps of representation in 20fucking20 #q word tw #q word #q word cw

[lovetorn]

the snack run [ricky bowen]

summary: after an argument between best friends, feelings are resurfaced. and, a certain curly fry can’t explain how angry he is that he didn’t get his snacks.  word count: 3.1k warnings: teeth-rotting fluff (if that's a warning), lil steamy at the end, swearing? 

a/n i was listening to wrong direction by hailee steinfeld and i was in my feels. also, ricky is a bit out of character in the angsty parts. it’s a bit all over the place with a lot of random parts just thrown in but yeah i like it so.. 

{not my gif!! credit to original owner}

Ricky is your best friend, that's all. Well, at least that what you told yourself every time you caught yourself staring at the gorgeous boy; or when hugs became more than hugs, more like tight embraces that made it seem like it was the last time you would hold each other; or when you would grasp each other’s hands when talking about something you were passionate about, or -

The thing between the two of you was nothing and it never would be, you were sure of it. Ricky had been too preoccupied with Nini and Gina’s issues to see that you were the one all along. Yes, the feelings were mutual, you both had talked about the love you two shared once and to say it ended badly would be an understatement. But in cliché teen movie fashion, you agreed to never let the feelings interfere with your friendship, and so, it never did. Until now. Yeah, shit.

~

The harsh squeal of a locker slamming caught your attention, making you spin around, curious who would be making this much noise at 8am. 

It was no surprise when you spotted Nini storming away from Ricky, his head hung in shame and embarrassment as he made a beeline to you. His shoes squeaked on the freshly waxed floors of the school hallway, drawing more attention to himself than he would’ve liked. 

You suppressed a giggle as he threw himself a pity party next to your locker once he arrived, leaning his head against the wall and screwing his eyes shut. 

“What’s up, Sunshine? What did you do now?” you asked, tilting your head at the boy, who was undoubtedly coming up with some sarcastic comeback to your teasing.  

But to your surprise, he didn’t. He only shook his head and sniffled quietly, hoping you wouldn’t notice. 

“Aw Rick, what happened?” he scolded himself for letting his emotions escape, quickly composing himself as he stood up straighter.

“Nothing, it’s nothing, Bub” you knew your heart shouldn’t have leapt at the pet name, but you couldn’t help it! Look at the boy. You just shook your head, 

“You’re such a liar Richard Bowen, you know Nini will tell me” his response was an eye roll and a light punch in the shoulder, something you were expecting. You let out a laugh at him, only receiving a tight-lipped smile in return, your heart sinking.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket as you retrieved it, Nini’s name popping up. holding your finger up at Ricky's face, you answered, 

“Hi Ni!” 

Ricky didn't hear your conversation but it sounded like good news; he couldn’t tell sometimes, I mean, girls could be confusing. 

Hanging up the call and shutting your locker with a smile, you slipped your arm through his, 

“Rick, you have to stop worrying about Nini and Gina, they can handle themselves,” you said, continuing the conversation, whilst ogling your eyes at him, hoping he would agree and move on, but it wasn’t that simple with him. 

“But, I need to make sure Nini’s okay with everything between EJ and his new girl! And I also need to call gina-” you sighed before jabbing him in the rib.  

He jumped from the shock, laughing, finally showing off his pearly whites. You joined in, giggling along with him as you made your way to your first class. 

“Listen, whatever Nini is dealing with, she’s telling me later, these are girl problems, don’t worry about it, Richard” you laughed, holding your backpack strap with your free hand, turning to see his face fall slightly.

“I get it, but she’s my friend too, not just my ex, she’ll tell me. Won’t she?” he threw a questioning look towards you as you shook your head, scoffing playfully. 

You fell silent, eyes forward as you thought about why he was so emotional when Nini walked away from him. You noted that you would ask him at a better time, as you unlinked arms and walked into the classroom.

~

It was at the start of your free period when things started going downhill. 

You were supposed to meet Ricky so you two could go and get snacks but you were nowhere in sight. He sat on the bench outside of east high, phone in hand as he tried to get ahold of you. Bringing his cell to his ear, he was met with your voicemail once again, 

‘Hey, it’s Y/n! sorry I missed-’ he groaned in frustration, you were not going to stand him up for girl problems. Rising from the bench in a huff, he walked, stomped, back inside the school and towards his locker. 

Throwing his wallet and phone inside, he slammed it and turned his back against it, running a quick hand through his coffee curls. 

The familiar sound of your converse squeaking on the hallway floors caught his attention, and he couldn’t help the uprise of anger that bubbled within him. 

“Where have you been?” he asked harshly, facing you with his arms out as you rounded the corner, 

“What do you mean?” confusion clouded your train of thought as you asked, walking closer to your best friend. 

“I waited an hour for you to meet me, and you never showed! A call or a message letting me know you couldn’t come would’ve been nice” he shook his head, annoyed with you. Ricky turned his body towards you, stepping back when you took a step forward. You were bewildered at his actions, almost offended as your jaw dropped. You couldn’t believe he was acting like this. 

The tension was building around you as your skin burned and his heart ached. Ricky hated this. He attempted to avoid situations like these at all costs; although this time, he wasn’t as lucky. He just wanted an explanation, and you were confused as to why he was taking this so seriously.

“Ricky, I’m so sorry, I was talking to Nini-”

He scoffed sarcastically and his hands grasped his stomach as he fell into a fit of fake laughter, and you knew exactly what he was doing as you stood in front of him. 

“Can you please just listen to me?” your voice was steady as his breathing calmed after his little laughing fit. His sarcasm pissed you off, to put it simply. 

“I am! but it feels like I’m always your second priority” he marvelled, hands flying around as reality set in. You felt the need to calm the situation before either one of you did something you would regret as you held your hands out in an attempt to defuse the tension. Jealousy was a foreign feeling to him, but gosh it was powerful and he was ready to fuel the fire with it. 

When he didn’t react to your gesture, you didn’t speak again, finding a spot on the dirty waxed floor. You found comfort in the silence. 

The only sound that cut through the tension was the bell, to which you perked up. But as you went to turn, a crowd of your classmates trampled you, making you run into something, someone. Lifting your head, you saw Ricky gazing down at you, more specifically your lips. Your heart rate increased rapidly, like a cliché movie again, as you copied his actions, staring at his lips that were directly in your line of vision. 

His lips were slightly chapped, but oh god, you could kiss them like there was no tomorrow. Your breath got caught in your throat as you flickered your eyes to his chocolate ones that swirled with an undistinguishable emotion. You leaned forward a fraction unknown to you but pulled back, suddenly aware of your intentions. 

Ricky’s eyes widened as he realised the situation, opening his mouth to apologise. But, he was being pulled back by a pair of hands that were placed strongly on his shoulders, leaving you alone. You spotted Big Red’s firey hair next to his figure before your shoulders slumped. Ricky didn't dare look at you. 

Meanwhile, your heart clenched as you blinked back the tears that were begging to fizzle down your hot cheeks. 

What just happened?

~

You avoided Ricky at all costs since you shared a moment in the hallway; if you could even call it a moment. 

The weekend had officially begun and you were determined to talk to Ricky about the incident. You struggled to wrap your head around what actually happened and how it got so heated, so fast. 

You stepped lightly onto his front porch, eyes going every direction as you finalised your speech for him. You exhaled heavily and swallowed thickly before placing your fist on the front door of his house. You cringed at how pathetic your knocks sounded, lifting your arm again to repeat the action before it swung open.

He sighed when he saw you, your arm raised before it fell to your side. 

“Hi” he breathed, voice so quiet you could barely hear him. moving to the side, he silently invited you in, shutting the door quietly behind you. 

He made his way down to his bedroom where he knew his Dad wouldn’t interrupt. 

“We need to talk, Bug” the old nickname surprised him, 

“You haven’t called me that since 8th grade” he mumbled, swearing his insides got warmer as you said it. 

You only nodded and sat on his bed, his fingers fidgeting as he sat in his desk chair across from you. 

“Nini called me when we were at my locker, remember? And she asked if we could meet up in the free period to talk about her feelings, you know, girl stuff” you begun, not meeting his eye just yet, but feeling comfortable enough to slyly joke around. 

“I’m just trying to help her adjust to what EJ did what he did and she needed a girl best friend to talk to about it” your eyes lifted to meet his, his gaze quickly averting as you sighed lightly. 

“I’m still confused rick, why do you think you’re my second priority?” you questioned, standing up from where you sat,

“You’ve always been my first, and you know that Bug” you continued, voice so sincere, it made his heart jump. 

Ricky was at a loss for words as he shook his head, mouth agape. He placed his hands over his face, hiding his honey eyes, and sighed, 

“I'm sorry I got so angry about you missing our snack run” his sentence was muffled but you got it, smiling lightly at the boy in front of you.

“Also, why were you nearly crying when Nini-” Ricky held his finger up, silencing you as he nodded,

“I just felt like I needed to help. Nini is my friend and I noticed that she wasn’t herself, so I wanted to help her. But she said it was none of my business, clearly” you felt bad, he was just trying to help his friends, and that’s all he ever really wanted to do.

“And~ she also might’ve said something about us that I possibly could’ve taken way better,” he said, face still buried in his hands. 

“Why don’t you worry about your own problems, Bowen?” Nini scolded, grasping her binder from the shelf in her locker.

“What are you talking about?” Ricky's eyes were squinted as Nini scoffed at his confused expression.

“Worry about Y/n! I don’t need your pity and I certainly don’t need your blooming love with her waved in my face when I’m clearly heartbroken!” Nini was frustrated with the boy, he was so clueless, it was unbelievable! 

“Y-Y/n? Nini-” 

“She loves you, Ricky! Oh my god, you are so blind it’s embarrassing” Nini exclaimed, slamming her locker closed and pushing past Ricky as she made her way to her first period. He head hung in shame and embarrassment as he made a beeline to you, shoes squeaking on the freshly waxed floors of the school hallway.

Your body froze before you understood exactly what he was talking about; Nini had said the same thing to you when you were talking in the free period.

“Yeah, I get it” your voice was soft as you crouched in front of him, reaching up to remove his hands from his face. His coffee eyes met yours as you both stood, Ricky a few inches taller.  

The feelings and emotions you felt towards Ricky that you had suppressed were resurfacing, and you couldn’t help the confidence that washed over you as you pressed your mouth to his. But, he pulled away abruptly, 

“No, we shouldn’t” he mumbled against your lips. You brought your hand up behind his neck to pull him closer, reattaching your lips and smiling when he let out a hushed groan. 

You felt like punching him when his lips left yours again, 

“You promise to buy me snacks aft-”

“Ricky!” and at that, you smiled against each other's mouths, finally content. 

~

When you had told Nini about your little rendezvous with a certain curly-haired boy, she couldn’t contain her excitement and aspiration,

“Ugh finally! I’ve been waiting for this for so long, you have no idea Y/n” she exclaimed, smile wide on her cheeks. 

You giggled, covering your face with your palms, eyes peeking through your fingers as you watched Nini do a little dance. 

“I’m so happy you’re happy Y/n/n,” she said softly after she sat down next to you on her bed. 

“And I’m gonna make sure you will be too, Ni. You deserve all the happiness in the world” you whispered, smiling at your best friend, 

“Now listen, we gotta find you a nice boy, with a nice personality and a nice body-” Nini’s small shriek interrupted your little speech, both of you falling backwards onto her duvet as laughter took over your beings. 

“Yeah, yeah, but first we have to focus on your relationship! Has he taken you on any dates yet?” she asked. You nodded, thinking back to last Friday night. 

“He took me to ensign lookout at sunset and we had a picnic on some grassy area on the way up. Then, we went back to his and watched a movie. Pretty cliché if you ask me” you explained, snickering at how classic it was.

“Sorry, if this is weird, we’re talking about one of your ex-boyfriends” all Nini did was shake her head, looking at you as if you had 3 heads.

“Y/n, I knew all along that you two would get together at some point, it was so obvious! I guess I just had to give you a little push, that’s all”

You felt at peace that Nini had no issue with talking about Ricky, despite the past they shared.

“Thank you” hugging Nini tightly, you stood up,

“Better get to Ricky's before I’m too late” you grinned, grabbing your bag and turning towards the door.

“Don’t have too much fun” she teased, causing you to roll your eyes and snicker.

As you got into your car, Ricky's name was displayed on your phone. 

“Hey Rick!” you greeted, smile grazing your cheeks as he spoke.

“Hey Bub, just walk in when you get here, I’ll be in the living room,” he said as you started your car, backing out of Nini’s driveway. 

“Ok, I’ll be there in 10″ you replied, putting on your right indicator. 

“Drive safe, love you!” he called, hanging up quickly. A soft blush dusted your cheeks and your body went numb. 

Your eyes widened as you squealed quietly, you were ecstatic, to say the least from Ricky's words.

~

Parking your car against the curb in front of his house, you hopped out in lightning speed and raced to his front door, letting yourself in before making your way to his living room. 

“I love you too!” you exclaimed, Ricky's eyes were as wide as saucers as was his grin, his heart was melting. 

You ran up to his standing figure and threw yourself at him, his laugh echoing throughout the house. 

“You said it back” he whispered, holding you close before you pulled back abruptly, 

“You’re kidding, right? Rick, I love you so much, oh my gosh” you beamed at him as his honey eyes swirled with adoration.

“Sorry it took so long to say it” you continued, watching tears prick his eyes, you knew how difficult those three words were for him. Ricky pulled you closer, a hand in your hair as your arms were around his torso.

“don’t apologise, okay? we just officially confessed our love for each other” he mumbled, both of your giggles calming the other. Ricky moved to look at your face, moving slowly between your eyes and your lips, pulling you down to sit next to him on the couch. 

Your hands instantly moved to his curls as he went to grip your hips, moving under your shirt to rub circles on your hot skin. 

“Ricky, I will always love you, understand? Don’t you ever forget that Baby” you murmured, lips inches away from each other. 

He nodded, feeling a little emotional at your statement. Both of you forced back your tears as your lips met. 

As it got more heated, Ricky's hands moved higher up your body, his fingertips leaving hot streaks on your neck as you moved your lips against one another. Your hands in each other's hair as teenage hormones overpowered rational thoughts. You stood, rolling your eyes as Ricky moaned about your sudden movement. You pulled him up and brought his face towards your again, 

“Bedroom?” your eyes flickered around his face as it flushed a soft red and he nodded at your request. 

Giggling down the stairs, hand-in-hand, you finally made it to his bedroom, lips together as soon as the door closed.

Ricky had you against the door as his hands grasped your hips again. You pulled away and motioned down to the bed, spinning around with Ricky as you kissed him again. Walking down the stairs carefully, with his hands on your shoulders, you turned to face him, lips together again, your teeth knocking slightly as you smiled.

You lead Ricky towards the bed, or what you thought was the bed and quickly regretted your decision. 

Your hip knocked his desk, causing a few objects to fall, but the laughs that escaped his lips were angelic. Bringing your mouth to his, Ricky was so occupied with how soft and addictive your lips were that he had forgotten about his guitar case that he had placed at the foot of his bed. How convenient. 

And as he was about to push you onto the bed, you stumbled over said instrument and landed awkwardly, half on the mattress, half on the floor. Now, this was a mood-killer, and Ricky couldn’t help the cackles that left his lips. He was holding his stomach and tears were threatening to leak. You just shook your head and giggled at him. 

Sitting up, you pulled him towards you by his t-shirt, making him fall on top of you. And once again, you brought his lips to yours, this time in a sloppy, teeth-clashy kiss that made your heart soar and your stomach flutter. 

Feedback is always appreciated x

#ricky bowen #ricky bowen imagines #ricky bowen x reader #ricky bowen imagine #joshua bassett imagine #joshua bassett x reader #joshua bassett #high school musical the musical the series #hsmtmts #hsmtmts imagine

[class1akids]

Chapter 280 - Thoughts

Trollikoshi strikes again. 

I was really hyped for the students getting involved in the fight, so I wanted to like this chapter, but it ended up as a let-down. 

A big part of it was how I felt Mina was shortchanged. Her acid man looked cool, but it felt totally wasted. 

I hated seeing her in the role of the damsel. 

It also made Tetsu’s effort to get through the fire (all that training in the furnace and the JTA fight against Todoroki) kind of useless other than giving us this cool visual. 

Kirishima rock-climbing (so unbreakable pierces through Machia’s skin) Machia and delivering Mina’s vial was otherwise good. 

I’m not even going to comment on Momo making cannons again. At least she also makes fire-proof coats and keeps calling the shots for the big plan. 

We finally see Majestic and his quirk in action. It looks like levitating some rings - though it is yet unclear how he’s supposed to attack with that. At least he has Suneater, Fat Gum and Gang Orca and that black-coated dude the Shiketsu crew interned with. We may yet see Inasa (could he be with Monoma’s group?)

On the hospital side, Shigaraki punches without quirks. I bet that hurt more than any physical attack he hurled at Endeavor before. I don’t know if he realizes just how close he hits - I had the impression that Dabi didn’t share his sad story with Shiggy. 

It’s a good line, but somehow I feel like it would zap more with Shouto there. Bakudeku feel like out of place spectators in this instance. 

I wonder what’s up still in Shigaraki’s sleeves. He looks pretty worn down, but the lines around his speech bubbles and those marks on his back - it definitely feels like it’s not over yet. 

I’m sure he still has a trick, whether it’s the quirk erasing bullets or yet another power-up? 

Somehow I feel like he’s about to burst into this - whatever this is supposed to represent. 

#bnha #bnha 280 #bnha manga #class1a reads bnha