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ladyluscinia · 7 months

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Izzy, Bottles, and Apologies

Izzy's arc in S2 has been a wild ride.

The S1 Izzy enjoyers are feeling vindicated as hell, many people are fully revising their opinion of him, and the people still hating him have a new criticism or off the wall theory daily. David Jenkins LOVES Izzy and is having the time of his life trying to make sure everyone else does too. They had Con O'Neill sing in drag!

And naturally I have thoughts.

This is gonna be a two part post, I think. First, as much as people are celebrating Izzy having realized his arc and come into his own - from the singing to the apparent BlackBonnet shipping - there are some threads they could pull on that might reveal more arc to come. And I am really hoping they pull them, so I'm gonna tell you why you should too!

And second, I have some minor points I dislike and concerns that this might be the end of the arc. Which would be disappointing but I think I get why, so I'm gonna discuss that too.

To start...

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"How are you handling all this so well?"

Here's the thing about S2 Izzy - while I need to be clear his behavior is not OOC or inconsistent with S1, it is happening rather fast. I'm pretty sure that has a lot to do with out of universe reasons I'll get into later, but in-universe it stands out. Now, he's hardly the only one operating on an accelerated schedule - the timeline for this season is an insanely fast not-even-two-weeks - but Izzy's defining struggle in S1 was fear of change. That was the cause of his friction with Edward, and what made him an antagonist in the first place.

In S2 he's gone through a lot of trauma, yes, but that fear is noticeably less present than I would expect.

Izzy in 2x06 has been cleaned up from his sobbing mess phase for just over 48 hours and he faces Edward with a joke, and then that night sings a moving French serenade to the crew. The next morning he's teasing them about finally hooking up and spends the day offering both Stede and Edward relationship advice.

He's a newly realized man... shedding repression and embracing who he could be. Accepting his breakup with Edward and trying to openly support the relationship that's better for him.

It's fun!

It's also, potentially, a bit of a flag. Maybe not a red one, not yet, but... pink-ish? A bit orange?

Let's look a little closer at those frayed edges.

---

"Well, you see, I have a system..."

There's an exchange from right at the start of the Pilot episode that has echoed through the entire series so far:

"Bottle it up?" -> "No, Frenchie! No, that's the worst thing you could do!"

Not talking to other people, not addressing your traumas... that's the kind of shit that just builds and builds inside you. When the cork eventually pops, the resulting damage can be a lot. Look at the finale of S1, where all of Stede's bottled up guilt and insecurities laid waste to his relationship with Edward, and then inadvertently became the first domino in the Kraken.

S2 is quick to bring this scene back into the forefront. The first time we see the Breakup Boat crew talking in 2x01, Frenchie reveals that "Bottle it up?" wasn't just a random comment he made, but a philosophy of his:

"Ah - well, you see, I have a system for dealing with all the terrible things I've seen. There's a box, in my mind, and I put the things in the box, I lock the box, and then I don't open it again. Works like a charm."

Apparently, Frenchie is the only one it actually seems to be working for.

Now, the show has been drawing some interesting lines between Frenchie and Izzy. From both serving as Blackbeard's First Mate to being frequently shown as a duo - tormenting Navy guys together on Sunday's raid, Frenchie holding Izzy's hand, Frenchie leaning on Izzy's leg in the cell, Frenchie behind him raising the flag in 2x05 - it's fitting that Izzy echoes Frenchie's preferred coping method. First he frames the non-acknowledgement of harm from Edward as just... part of piracy. He's a pirate, so he's fine with it.

And then we get Izzy's little whittled shark reveal and the conversation with Lucius about his leg:

"I don't know what you're talking about. Shark did this... dangling my legs over the side of the ship. Served me right, too."

Lucius calls him out on the unhealthy behavior, and Izzy concedes his point:

"O-kay, that seems healthy. Using a bit of fiction to help cover up your trauma." -> "Yeah, well... not moving on is worse. Twatty."

And to give him credit, he's right in his advice to Lucius. Filling his sketchbook with pages and pages of Blackbeard trauma is Lucius's form of bottling it up - thinking in endless recursive circles about his tumble off the ship and everything that followed. We already know chasing revenge instead of living is bad - Jim and Spanish Jackie established it last season, and Pete just echoed them. When Izzy advises Lucius to move on, that's what Lucius does.

But what Izzy is doing with the shark? That's not the same thing at all. He's lost a leg, grazed a bullet off his own head, and was snarling drunken accusations at himself in the mirror... he's not moving on from that. He's bottling it up with a nice dose of self-blame.

Cutting the legs off the unicorn for not doing it's job right and saying "served me right" about his fictional shark? There's a real dark knot of emotions there.

(Recall, too, that Edward deflected his hurt from Stede's abandonment into a "fictional character" during his chats with Lucius, and that delayed the explosion but couldn't stop it.)

So... Izzy's definitely coping with trauma in a way the show does not advise and often circles back to. Can we see any signs in 2x06 and 2x07?

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The Weight of Things Unsaid

At the very start of 2x06, Izzy gets the thing he spent all of 2x05 mentally bracing himself to never hear - an apology from Edward for his leg. He walks up to initiate conversation and begins talking like nothing has changed. Edward is back in his leathers. Appropriate, given that his penance onesie was nothing genuine, just "how long do I have to wear this fucking thing for?" And Izzy is ready for them not to address the obvious hurt, to just smooth over a few jabs and go back to normal... but even Edward's mumbled little "Sorry about your leg" is so significant and difficult he flees as soon as he gets it out, leaving Izzy to sit, incredulous, with the acknowledgement.

It's still almost definitely not enough.

There was so much between them in 2x01 - 2x03. The writers literally did BlackHands love confessions on both sides. An apology from Edward Teach - a man who historically does not apologize - is a huge first step but still only the first step. The real things unsaid are so much bigger than a leg.

We get something else, too... Edward commenting on Izzy's drinking.

"Jesus. Really putting that away, aren't ya?"

Izzy has had booze a lot this season. He lost a leg and pain meds aren't really an option, so not surprising, but notable. Edward, advocating for substance abuse to deal with bad feelings, calls him a lightweight in 2x01. When they are found with the dead seabird in 2x03, Izzy takes a pointed drink from his bottle, and then 2x04 he spends the entire episode completely plastered. He seemingly sobered up for 2x05 - probably to focus on sword training and his whittling project - but now the bottle is back again before Izzy disappears for several hours.

And a little liquid courage might explain his going all in for the Calypso's Birthday performance.

I do appreciate that the performance on it's face is something completely unexpected for Izzy, but when thinking about it... it does make sense.

We already know music and performance were available on Blackbeard's ship even before Stede. Edward learned to play shanties on the piano somewhere, and singing is a common and encouraged part of sailing culture. Izzy's choice of song to perform is something a lot more emotional, but this is probably not his first performance for a crew.

Makeup, too, is in fashion for men and women at this time, and OFMD has shown it as such before. Izzy has never worn fashion makeup, or tried to be beautiful, but the concept wouldn't be alien to him. Wee John's description of a dramatic party look might even have intrigued him specifically because Izzy has actually done "looks" before - of the terrifying "theatre of fear" kind. The Kraken did have his whole crew in makeup for their raids. Taking the opportunity to embody something a bit more vulnerable and try to bring joy to this crew that took care of him is meaningful as fuck.

And it's still a drag performance!

It's a good pair of moments - before and after Ned. Proof that all this isn't just coping method - that's not what I'm arguing here - and even if Izzy's still bottling up a lot of feelings he's not doing the same full pressure bomb thing as he did in S1. There's been growth!

(This is why the flags are only pink-ish / orange-ish right now.)

Episode 2x07 though... I'm not so sure he's doing good as much as pretending it's all good.

Showing up to make his joke in the morning is a fun moment. I especially enjoy Edward's little "fuck off" with no bite to it 🤣🤣🤣 Reminder they do live together on a ship, so this is likely not even close to the first morning-after that Izzy has gotten front row seats to. But, at least to me, there's also a very performative feeling about it. Izzy being very Look how normal I can be about you fucking your boyfriend, Ed - and Edward picks up on it too. That's why he turns to Stede and whispers "He's jealous" as Izzy walks away.

Izzy continues to make jokes and give advice through the day to our main couple, but he's... subdued. I think his fake chill also disguises that he and Edward aren't on the same page about what they discuss at the docks, hence his poor advice to "listen to it" when the "it" in question is Edward's immediate desire to run away from Stede and become a fisherman. They are talking again, but haven't resumed communicating.

I also think it's relevant that Izzy goes to try and support Stede after Edward dumps him, because we're still waiting for Stede to stop bottling things up. He doesn't talk about Badminton or feelings of inadequacy or even the babiest little olive branch to Edward about "hey my dad kinda sucked too." Edward's two exes are sitting in the bar corner together, thinking about all the shit they won't talk to him about until it kills all three of them. Exciting!

The pressure is building. It has to circle back to Stede in S3. I'm hoping at the same time, it circles back to Izzy, too.

Hoping we get to explore some of his anxiety, and his internalizing negative self-image and blame. At the moment, I think Izzy might have less gotten over his anxieties and more just let go of the wheel of his life entirely, and fortunately had people around to steer him in okay directions. It would be really interesting to explore that more.

(Even if I have some concerns they may not.)

---

Subtle as a Cannonball to the Face

Izzy's character arc was always going to be a long journey - not because he was somehow morally worse than everyone else, or required particularly painstaking growth, or even because there was going to be some great need to "hold him accountable" for S1. No, it was going to be a long journey from an antagonist start for the same reason I mentioned earlier: Izzy's core struggle is fear of change.

OFMD opens with two protagonists recklessly pursuing change in ways that harm themselves, their relationships, and others, and a primary onscreen antagonist resisting change in a way that harms himself, his relationships, and others. There's no easy morality here - they all fuck up. And they all require the entire show to actually figure out the correct balance of change and growth and facing the past.

"I think the three of them are on an arc together that's pretty inseparable." - David Jenkins (Source, 9 Oct 2023)

So... why is there a chance that everything I've mentioned above is going absolutely nowhere and Izzy's arc has been wrapped up with a bow in S2?

Well.

It's late March 2022, the fandom's age is still only countable in weeks, I personally haven't even watched the pilot yet, had only even heard of the show 3 days before... and one of David Jenkins first post-finale statements is telling people to pay attention to Izzy's POV and his and Edward's love story on rewatches (Source, 25 Mar 2022), and then soon after comparing Stede to a homewrecker in Edward and Izzy's toxic marriage (Source, 15 Apr 2022). Lots of links because this stuff was available to the fandom from the start.

By the first half of May 2022 (while poor Mr. Jenkins is still anxiously trying to get his series renewed for S2, since the confirmation won't come until June 1) the takes on Izzy have soured a lot. It's not a "homophobic gay" joke anymore. Now it's "Izzy is the embodiment of colonialism who enforces a racist and homophobic ideal of Blackbeard on Edward" and "pretending Izzy could be canonically gay is homophobic" and "Izzy bought Edward as a slave from the British". Harassing anons have already started on tumblr. No first hand experience with Twitter but I've heard horror stories. These takes are spreading like wildfire through the fandom, with a heavy backing of white fans accepting and spreading anything that sounds vaguely racially-conscious as something they just missed in their privilege and need to listen to POC about. Or listen to other white fans that say they've been listening to POC.

The anchor hoist in 1x09 (that was a complete directing coincidence, as the crew confirmed in late May) is being taken as incontrovertible proof that Izzy is a violent racist, and the relatively small Izzy fandom pushing back against any of these reads is being likened to toxic fangirls declaring Kylo Ren a poor widdle victim because they think violent white guys are so hot their brains fall out. This is happening loudly and in the public forums of social media.

Can you imagine being David Jenkins right then?

This is one of your favorite little guys, who you wrote a silly little homoerotic pirate jealousy arc for. He's kinda cringefail and tends to be a dick, but you cast a guy who you think embodies him with so much sympathy and genuine emotion. You're so excited to explore his direct relationship to the main couple of your series even more. Unfortunately, you and a lot of the cast and crew are also engaging maybe a bit too much in fandom spaces, which very few of you have much familiarity with navigating as creators. AND there's still renewal stress!

If I were him, I too would consider that perhaps my intended Izzy arc was a bit too nuanced and drawn out, and maybe I needed to clear up some misconceptions as soon as I got the opportunity.

Enter S2.

MAX reduced the budget for the season significantly and it shows - particularly in the whole thing having to squeeze into 8 episodes - and I wouldn't be surprised at all if worries over a S3 renewal / S3 budget impacted S2 writing as well. Character arcs got pinched, goals had to be prioritized... and from the looks of the season, "make sure everyone knows Izzy is not a homophobic villain tormenting Edward as fast as possible" came out as a big goal.

I mean they open with a dream sequence that literally mocks the idea of a heroic Stede rescuing Edward from the dastardly Izzy. It's not subtle.

And the lack of subtlety is kind of what's concerning me.

Izzy's arc is (I think) leaving enough threads that they can extend it into S3 with the reveal he's not actually fine and done developing, but they also seem to want his S2 arc to end in a place where maybe he is. Lots of giant signs pointing to him and saying "Look! Everyone likes him!" or "Look! He's also gay!" at the expense of some of his cringefail or dickish charm. My guy had anxiety he dealt with poorly in S1, and I do think they are trying to frontload or adjust the arc so he's basically (or at least seemingly) over that before the next hiatus.

The best way I've seen it described is that the show no longer trusts the audience to pick up what they are putting down, and so they feel the need to really hammer it in. Not necessarily OOC, but definitely de-emphasizing any of his rough edges that were originally just written to not be any worse than the other characters.

This is why Izzy gets shot by Edward in the very first episode for a bunch of complicated reasons that are really good character work and not super hard to discern, but then later they have Izzy point out to Stede why he got shot twice. It's all very "look into the camera and say the themes", because to some degree they are afraid everyone is going to get easily convinced Edward shot him for calling him a namby-pamby that one time.

It makes me worried they are too afraid of misinterpretation to commit to the arc they originally conceived of, even with the finish line in sight in S3.

And, again, I get it, Mr. Jenkins. In October 2022 he made a funny quip and a boner joke on a tweet about Edward's blanket fort and the hordes descended to scream victoriously about how he was cutting down the Izzy stans for their racist infantilization crimes of thinking Izzy would *checks notes* help hold up a blanket. It's a very reasonable conclusion that this fandom cannot read and needs to be spoonfed Izzy's arc.

It just sucks that a toxic section of fandom's misinterpretations appear to have undercut a strong - and, honestly, not that complicated - character arc so much that S2's BlackBonnet arc can be about fuck ups and backsliding, but Izzy needs at least the illusion of having no flaws left come hiatus time.

#our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd meta #my meta #izzy hands ofmd #izzy hands #character arcs #ofmd 2x06 #ofmd 2x07 #and here's my associated izzy meta because i love to talk about both my blorbos lol #ladyluscinia #david jenkins

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whatthefishh · 2 years

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Satisfactory Part 1

Jake Lockley x Fem Reader

Words: 1.7K

Summary: Jake has a secret that's not really a secret but he's hiding it from Marc and Steven because they’d be scandalized AKA the Jake Porn Star AU nobody asked for and is probably slightly OOC but is honestly just for fun so don’t take it too seriously

Warnings: in this chapter, no smut just hints at sex, talk of sex toys, future parts will have smut

Thanks to everyone who encouraged my idea and writing ❤️

Jake had a secret. Jake liked knowing that certain things were just his. Once he came out to the boys, he liked being part of their lives but some things he wanted to keep just for himself. It was a little exciting, if he was being honest. So he kept some secrets. No biggie, right? Plus, the money was good. A small bonus to what he felt was a thrilling side hustle.

Jake liked to be on camera. No, no, that’s not the full truth now.

Jake liked to fuck on camera.

He got off on exhibitionism, he loved the thought of people getting off to him getting off. He liked seeing the undeniable pleasure he gave his partners on set, even though many in the industry faked it when necessary, he made it a goal to actually make his partners finish on camera. Their noises spurring him on to really give it to them good. Their look of surprise when they realized his reputation rang true - you won’t fake it with Jake. He was a good guy like that, you know? A real gentleman.

It was a flexible gig, whenever he had the time or whenever he had the urge to splurge on a nice pair of leather gloves, a new cap, something for his cab. You get it.

Jake wasn’t insanely popular to the point where Marc or Steven would easily find out, but he had a decent following. Also, that big dick energy? It wasn’t just a brag, it really was just… big. Memorable, even to the viewers. So much so, that when he - quite literally - ran into you at the sex shop around the block of his usual cabbie route, you recognized him immediately as one of your go-to content creators.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t...see y-you…” You trailed off after completely making a fool of yourself and falling over bumping into a strikingly handsome man rounding the corner of the aisle you were perusing. Eyes wide, heat rising to your face as you were staring into the man’s eyes. You were able to place him from your memory after only a couple seconds of taking in his features.

No. Freaking. Way. Jake motherfucking Lockley, Jake object of your fantasies Lockley, Jake all-eight-inches Lockley, the man whose videos you’ve gotten off to countless times, the man who is literally holding your arms to steady you because you almost fell at his feet. Oh, God you’re mortified.

“That’s okay, cariño, s’my bad.” He finally let go of your arms as you looked less like you were going to topple over but still had that deer caught in headlights expression. He smiled kindly at you to try and diffuse the situation which only served to make you drop the items you were limply holding.

It was at this untimely moment that you realized where you were and what you had just dropped.

You both looked down at the clatter of the box hitting the floor, and Jake quickly bent to retrieve your… vibrator? Right. You were buying a vibrator since your last one decided to die on you, mid self-love session and left you insanely frustrated. And now Jake was examining it like he was the one who was deciding whether or not to buy it and if possible, your face grew even more hot.

Your last vibrator was a simple bullet, with a few different functions to switch it up every now and then, bought out of necessity due to the dry spell you were going through for the past year. This time the sales associate, who to be honest seemed too young to be working here to begin with, convinced you to upgrade to a more advanced vibe and you were open to trying something new. Until now. The neon pink, glittery, curved toy would’ve been cute in your bedroom drawer, not in the hands of Jake will-rearrange-your-insides Lockley, staring down at it with mirth in his eyes and a smirk playing at his lips.

“Mierda, 7 inches?” he muttered, still smirking, and finally dragging his eyes away from the package to look at you through his lashes. “Your boyfriend not doin’ his job or something?”

Fuck, he was more handsome in person. “N-no boyfriend.” You managed to spit out. Great response. So well spoken.

He looked you up and down appreciatively at that. “I’m Jake.”

“I- Yes, I know who you are,” you breathed out, grabbing the box from his hands.

Jake seemed to pick up on your discomfort and was about to back off until he registered what you just said. “Wait, have we met before, cariño?”

Will the floor just open up and swallow you whole now? This interaction could not get any worse for you. How were you going to explain where you’ve seen him before without further embarrassing yourself? You blushed harder at the thought of telling him to his face that you’ve watched all his content, some of them repeatedly.

He didn’t miss a thing. “Or have you just seen me around?” He prompted with another panty-dropping smile.

“Yeah we’ve met bef... no, that’s a lie, alright I’ve seen you online and your… stuff. Good stuff.” Biting your lip at the end of your sentence. You wanted to play it cool but that was undoubtedly not going well for you. Good stuff, you said.

“Thanks, doll.” He laughed it off smoothly, hand rubbing at his growing stubble almost bashfully. “I’d love to show you sometime but I won’t keep you. It was nice to meet you..?” Stuttering, you gave him your name, to which he repeated back to you, winked and smiled one last time and continued down the aisle.

You had to take a deep breath in before being able to continue shopping and picking up some other items you had your eye on. Your hands were slightly trembling from the interaction, replaying the way his eyes roved over your body. You were not used to men giving you attention, checking you out or being openly flirty with you. You doubted his intentions were sincere, he probably just made conversation with all the women he almost knocked over.

Your conversation with Jake felt like something you made up after repeating it a few times in your head. The whole time you couldn’t help but look over your shoulder to see if Jake was still around or almost bumping into you again, and it made your insides flutter at the thought of speaking to him again. As if you could keep your cool the first time around, you thought to yourself with an internal groan. How is he just allowed to walk around freely with those intense eyes?

Gathering all your items in a basket, you made your way up to the cash register standing in line behind an older woman arguing with the cashier. The minutes pass you by, idly checking out the fast-grab trinkets near the counter. Tiny bottles of lube, single packets of flavoured condoms, nipple covers with a single connecting chain, phallic-shaped silicone keychains, and the like.

A receipt has been pulled out with some more angry noises from the lady, and the cashier seems to be getting more and more flustered.

You pick up a penis keychain out of curiosity. It’s neon pink.

“Did you grab the batteries?” A gravelly voice asks from behind you and you gasp as you turn to see Jake standing in line behind you with another mischievous smile directed at you.

“Jeez! Yes, I grabbed the batteries.” So you didn’t hallucinate that conversation.

“Lo siento, didn’t wanna spook you.” He snickered. “I just wanted to make sure you’d be… satisfied.” Jake’s eyes were sparkling with his teasing tone, but there was a layer of suggestion beneath that had you raising a brow.

The air grew hot and you resisted the urge to tug at the neckline of your knit sweater. Was Jake Lockley flirting with you?

It took you maybe one second too long to reply just because you were powering up to finally flirting back with the man of your literal dreams, and hoping it got you somewhere.

“Hmm, there’s other ways of checking if you really want to be sure.” You say with a coy smile of your own, internally screaming. Shit, this isn’t going to work. You’re embarrassing yourself. You’re being ri-

He takes a step closer to you, eyelids lowering seductively looking down his nose at you before purring, “You want some help with that, hermosa?” Shit, this was actually working.

You giggle, you can’t help it. Up close you can see a light scruff coming in, thick eyebrows resting over extremely expressive, espresso brown eyes that are gazing back at you. You can feel his body heat radiating off of him the closer he comes to you, and you’re looking up at him through your lashes and he’s staring down at you with a smile like the cat that ate the canary and the angry lady at the counter is yelling now, clearly not done reaming out the employee, and you’re okay with it, you’re somehow more than okay with all of it. For a minute it’s just you and Jake, imagining all the ways he’ll take you apart, the store fading into black.

The lady asks for the manager, and finally moves to the side to allow your turn. You don’t hesitate to dump your items on the counter, suddenly in a rush to leave with the strikingly pretty man at your elbow.

“I actually live nearby… Wanna-”

Your heart is beating loudly in your chest, almost matching the register beeps as the cashier is ringing up your purchase.

“Yes.” He growls into your ear while sliding his card across the counter to pay for your things. He’s grinning at you now, grabbing your bag of purchases before reaching for your hand and leading you out the door. He leads you outside but stops on the sidewalk, hands still intertwined, and turns to you to ask which way to go. Half the bravado leaves your voice, but you still point to the building that’s yours and you two make your way towards it. When you shyly link your arm with his, he doesn’t pull back and just looks down his nose at you again, lids low.

“Whatever you say, hermosa. I’m yours for the night.” His voice went straight to your core and you felt a swirl of desire stirring in your gut.

What have you signed yourself up for?

People who have encouraged my writing/gave encouraging feedback on my first fic - if you don’t wanna be tagged lmk, no hard feelings :) : @lucianadraven32 @kittyofalltrades @romanarose @dameronscopilot @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @unspokenmoon @bit-dodgy-innit @milkymoon2483 @symbioticskywalker

#jake lockley #jake lockely x reader #Jake Lockley fanfic #jake lockley smut #jake lockley x you #moon knight fanfic #moon knight #moon knight smut #moonknight fic #moonknightober2022 #mona writes???

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slytherintrikru · 9 months

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|| It Wasn’t A Dream ||

— Part 1 —

Pairing: Severus Snape x gryffindor!student!reader (she’s of age)

Word count: 1904

Warnings: anxiety, angst, crush, older man/younger woman, she is of age, cuss words, pet names, an OOC Severus?, SFW (if I missed anything please let me now)

Summary: Y/N couldn’t stop daydreaming about her potions professor so she did what any insane person would do. She went and confessed her feelings to him. Will he accept her feelings and return them back? Or will he reject her? Read to find out. (SHE’S OF AGE)

Requested: by no one this is my idea

A/N: hi- I’m a new writer and this is my first post one-shot on tumblr (I already posted this on Ao3). I know this probably sucks because I have a hard time to write what I imagine and feel but I hope you like it. Please give tips and feedback no matter what it is so I can make my writing better. Also in this hogwarts has 8 years of hogwarts and the reader is 18 almost 19 years old.

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Y/N sat at their desk, surrounded by textbooks and notes, in her warm and cozy Gryffindor common room,

but their mind was miles away. Thoughts of Severus Snape consumed her every waking moment, her heart yearning to confess the feelings she harbored. Frustration and self-loathing gnawed at them, for he was her potions professor and Y/N is his student, despite being of age. The internal battle waged on, distracting Y/N from her studies, leaving Y/N torn between desire and the constraints of her forbidden affection.

Y/N's feelings for Severus had deepened, fueled by the pivotal moment when she saved him from the clutches of Voldemort and Nagini. The intensity of that experience had only strengthened the bond between them in her heart. Her and Severus had became closer since. Yet, the weight of Lily's memory lingered, casting a shadow of doubt within her. She yearned to express her emotions, to confess her love, but the fear of Severus's lingering affection for Lily, even in death, held her back. The unspoken words weighed heavily on her soul as she grappled with the ache of unrequited love. Or at least that’s what she thought it was and made herself believe it was true.

Besides who would want her, she’s just a filthy mudblood, just like Draco said. Severus could find someone better.

Yes, Y/N and Severus are friends which could come off as strange to everyone else considering he is her professor and she was his student but that didn’t stop her from hanging out with him. Even though she did get bullied and got hexed by slytherin’s for taking away ‘their’ professor for her being friends with him many times. Y/N still ignored them. She would go to his class just to talk to him after a long day of work and most of the time they wouldn’t talk at all. The times they weren’t talking she would take time to admire him, how he would concentrate on his work, and how his eyes would shine a bit when he saw his slytherins got answers right. She loves how much he cares for his slytherins even though some may think he’s heartless, cruel, & vicious, deep down he’s caring and kind.

She couldn’t take it anymore; her feeling was getting too much for her; she needed to tell him. She needs to at least know she tried and to know that he knew her true feelings. She huffed softly and quickly got up from her comfortable chair, she didn’t really have a plan on how to do this and she didn’t think of how he would react. She just knew that if she kept her emotions in any longer she would burst. Her feelings for him felt more powerful than any sort of magic that it took over her whole body. Making her forget how idiotic with what she was doing is.

Leaving the warmth of her Gryffindor common behind, Y/N embarked on a mission through the corridors of Hogwarts castle. She walks fast through the dimly lit halls, each step echoed in the silence making her palms sweat ferociously as her hair blows in the wind. Y/N’s heart race as she heads towards the cold dungeons towards his potions class. Her anxiety increases by the second.

With every turn and staircase descent, her heart raced a little faster. The weight of anticipation settled heavily on her shoulders, and the air felt thick with trepidation. Thoughts of Severus Snape's strict demeanor and piercing gaze occupied their mind, intensifying their nervousness. Then thoughts of his soft, kind, & more gentle side filled her brain. She didn’t know what he would say to her after she confesses her feelings. Y/N just hopes he won’t reject her.

As she reaches the dungeon halls, the corridor grew colder and darker, her steps slows dowm. As if her body and brain finally realized what she was about to do and how everything could go wrong in a few seconds. Y/N could hear the paintings on the wall’s whispering to each other. Making her feel as if they are talking about her which caused her mind to panic more.

The flickering torchlight cast eerie shadows on the walls, making the journey feel like a solitary quest through a labyrinth of uncertainty. Each unfamiliar door they passed only heightened their unease, until finally, they stood before the entrance to Snape's potion’s class.

She looks nervously around, making sure no one is near her or his room. After she saw no one, she stood there for a while anticipating her moves. Gathering the little courage she had left, Y/N raises her trembling, sweaty hand and knocked hard on the door. The sound of the knocks echo through the cold, partly lit silent of the dungeons. It was in that moment her mind was screaming for her to stop and leave.

But she didn’t have a chance to. The form of Severus’ appears as he opens his potions class door, revealing his stern face. When he saw it was Y/N his facial expression changed to a soft, exciting look, and a hint of another emotion.

What am I doing here? I shouldn't have come, why am I here? This is stupid— her thoughts had stopped when she heard him speak.

Y/N looks at him, his soft expression made her melt. “Ms. Y/L/N? What do you want?” He asked

“C-Can I come in?” She asked, he looked at her with confusion before moving aside allowing her to enter. She slowly walked in as if he would snap at her and tell her to leave at any moment. After she made it in he slammed the door causing her to jump.

“To what do I owe you the pleasure of having you bother me on a Saturday?” He jokingly questioned. She saw that hint of emotion in his eyes before going away completely. She felt her cheeks turn red as she blushed at him. Severus smirks at that.

“I need to tell you something, it’s important. I know that it will probably not end well. I want you to know before I say anything that, I apologize. I have enjoyed being your friend for all those few years so much so that you are one of the reasons I decided to come back for my 8th year here. I know you probably will think I’m crazy-“ before she had the chance of finishing he cut her off.

“Would you stop the rambling for Merlin’s sake? Go on, tell me what you want to say.” He hissed playfully and she could have swore she saw a smile, not a smirk, a normal happy smile. Which was rare for him to do.

“Ok here it goes… I like you and not just as a friend. After the war my feelings for you have grown into something more and I know you probably don’t care. That I may be nothing more than just a dunderhead-“ before she could finish he grabbed her face and he kissed her. Y/N felt lips, not just any lips, his lips, on hers. It took her a few seconds to comprehend what was really happening, as if it wasn’t really happening. As if it was all a dream.

Sure enough she slowly came to her senses as she did, she knew it was real. Y/N kissed back almost immediately when she realized it wasn’t a dream. She felt his hands move from her face and make their way down to wrap around her waist. She wrapped her arms around him back, taking in and feeling everything. This felt almost like a dream, the way his lips were moving against hers, but it wasn’t a dream. It was as if she was on cloud nine and she never wanted to return to earth.

The kiss lasted for a few minutes before they finally pulled away panting as they were out of breath. She slowly opened her eyes and saw his dark brown eyes staring at her with that same emotion she saw after she walked in. She knew that look anywhere, it was the same look she has when she looks at him. The look of love. How didn’t she notice that before?

“That was- that was…fucking amazing.” Y/N whispered, as she stuttered a bit, her cheeks were as red as a tomato. She didn’t want this to end. She wished she could fill this way for a lifetime. Just her and him together. Forever.

“It truly was, my little love.” Severus murmured back while looking in adoration at her. If it hadn’t been for how close he was holding her and her hands in his hair he could’ve sworn it was all a dream. “I like you more than a friend as well. I have for a while now, I just didn’t know how to tell you. I thought you’d reject me so I just ignored my feelings.”

“Oh my Prince, I would never reject you, I’ve liked you for years, Severus. The last couple of years, especially last year when I saved you, my feelings have grown stronger.” She said with honesty, he looked at her trying to see if she was lying or if there was any dishonesty in what she said but he couldn’t find it. Instead he saw the same look he has on his face right now, which was love.

They looked at each other for what felt like ages and then Y/N leaned in to kiss him again, he happily accepted and kissed her back. This kiss was much more intense than the last. They kissed as if at any moment one of them would disappear and be gone forever. Y/N tugged at his hair, Severus groaned at that and held her tighter. His hands swiftly began to make their way from her back to her ass, squeezing gently. Y/N moaned but then Severus pulled away causing her to whine at the loss of connection. Severus smiled at her.

“I want our first time to be special. I want it to be in a place where you and I are both comfortable, not worrying about who will walk in. So I’ll be able to take my time with you.” He said, creasing her face softly while looking at her beautiful E/C eyes as he continued. “Let’s wait ok, darling.”

She was a bit disappointed but she knew he was right, she also wanted her first time to be special. “Ok.” She whispered. “I guess I’ll go back to my common room, I need to study for my NEWTS. I’ll see you later Sev.”

She kissed him one last time before turning away to head back to the Gryffindor tower. Before she could take another step she felt a hand, it was his hand, grabbing her. She turned to look at him.

He kisses Y/N softly once more and than lets her go.

Y/N smiled in return and flustered at him kissing her again, “I’ll see you later, Sev.” She muttered, he smiled back. She then made her way to the door, opened it and left for her common room with a huge smile across her face. I can’t believe that just happened, she thought. Tonight was the best night I ever had in a while.

—

Part 2

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lcngdays · 3 months

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Positivity anon here! Could I ask you to shout out to your five fave blogs? Just to make someone smile today and let them know you love their blog! Maybe even say a little about why!

Hello Beloved Positivity Anon! Sorry for the late reply, I don't get much done during the week, but the weekend is where I thrive! Now, it's hard to pick JUST FIVE FAVES. So I may have included a few more <3

@plcasantnights // While Corpse isn't active on tumblr anymore, he's still my absolute best friend ever. I love him with my whole heart and we've written countless stories together, we've met irl multiple times, and I just. Don't have enough good to say about this man. An incredible writer, a patient and understanding person, and someone I trust with my whole, authentic self. Long days and pleasant nights, bestie. <3

@cxldblxxded / @yxkanna / @striigon // MOOP!!! A very cool writer with a very keen sense of character creation. I love reading about their silly little guys and I love talking with them ooc! I feel like I can throw any must at them from my EXTENSIVE roster and they're down for it, no matter how silly it is!

@handgiven // WHAT IS THERE TO SAY ABOUT KAI!!!!! emmanuel is SO sweet and SO precious and I hold him so dear in my heart. One of the few characters that can put up with my more annoying characters with a smile on his face, the way Kai is able to write such a beautiful, well thought out angel is incredible. I love reading the eloquence of Emmanuel and love seeing everything Kai puts on the dash

@fangmother // HI HUNTER HI HUNTER!!!! hunter is so fucking cool you guys. they have the coolest posts both ic and ooc and i light up each time they come on the dash with anything new. rainer is so cringefail girlboss and i don't care how many times hunter tells me i'm wrong to love her, i'm still GOING TO!!!

@freekzout / @hungryyheart // VIV MAKES ME NOSTALGIC FOR THE NINTIES AND I WAS BORN IN 1997 SO THAT'S WILD!!! everything about the worlds that Viv has created makes me insane. be it cute little vampiis or straight up government coverups viv is SO creative and so nice ooc! puts up with me even though i forget to answer dms a million percent of the time!! ALSO PUTS UP WITH ANGEL SO A HUGE PLUS RIGHT THERE

@burdenedwithfaith // every day it makes me insane that Prince isn't more popular on tumblr. i don't know anything about the series their character is from and yet and YET I am so so so INVESTED with him! I'm so invested with each little character moment and arc and I love writing with them to see where they're going to take it and take John!! even if you don't know the game their muse is from I highly encourage you to check them out because they're EPIC

@soulmissed // I haven't written a lot with Ruben (YET) but his character is SO well written. Ruben also always pops into my dms when I make a sad/venty post and checks on me and he has no idea how MUCH i appreciate that so i'm saying it here. thank you <3

@mr-pulvis // Ruth. Oh Ruth!!!!!! Ruth has known me since the beginning. Since I STARTED on tumblr! They have followed me through countless blogs, countless cringe, countless silliness and revamping and bad writing. I love Miles to death, I've always loved Miles, but Ruth doesn't get enough credit (from me at least!) for how cool and nice they are and how good of a writer they are. here's to many MORE years of knowing each other!!!

@pistolsister + many more blogs in their pinned! // Even though we've followed each other for a long time, we've only JUST started writing together. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN FULLY RESPONDED TO ANYTHING YET I DON'T THINK IT'S ALL IN THE QUEUE! but mille is very cool, very easy to bounce ideas off of and i love each and every one of their characters. SO well thought out, SO easy to write against and just a sweet person over all!

@wehavefoundthestars // EVE!!!! I LOVE OUR SLOWBURN BOYS!!!! But I also love writing with them with ANY of my characters! we're always in each other's dms after each response excitedly chatting away! a very fun person to write with and be around!

@lovepurposed // hi orion :3 orion and I are also a duo who have known each other for a long while. not as long as some of the people on this list, but we've always seemed to find each other on tumblr some way and some how, despite moving blogs or just falling out of certain fandoms. orion is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, and I'm looking forward to writing with orion for a long, long time to come.

@amischiefofmuses // NEVER DID I EVER EXPECT TO FIND SOMEONE IN SO MANY OF THE SAME FANDOMS AS ME. homestuck, invader zim, undertale, hazbin, you NAME it we have it in common. magpie is SO fun to write with, and i think they're just RLLY COOL NGL AND SUCH A GOOD WRITER

@spokewar // MARCI!!!!! so good at writing it makes me insane that they even write WITH me. i followed them originally with sass and their sam winchester but things just blossomed from there into an epic scifi adventure with a little alien prince and obi-wan (AND I HAVENT EVEN SEEN STAR WARS LMAO) marci is super cool and super fun to be around and is a very comforting presence when i get worried about wanting to do something new!

@dumbthink // KC i have followed all over tumblr. i love writing with them, i love all the stories they create, i LOVE all their silly little characters and how well they can analyze LITERALLY ANYTHING!!!!

HONORABLE MENTIONS!!!!!

@null-siren / @honeyhogger / @notsohumerusnow / @badmusejail : THE UNDERTALE CREW!!!!! I write with them mostly on my undertale rp blog but i wanted to give all of them a HUGE SHOUT OUT for being so cool and friendly and fun to write with, even though i'm VERY SLOW over on my undertale blog!!!

@bittcnneck / @r-adio / @bloodsalted / @velvetineblue / @swervdcity / @rcjoice / @deceivesthem / @starbeambully / @ourcwnside / @beastbitten / @heaven-said / @thehazbins / @vitalphenomena / @captivates / @ruinedmyself / @miidnighters / @lcve0n / @hellfrozen / + ALL MY LOVELY MUTUAL!!!! // I LOVE ALL MY MUTUAL I LOVE ALL MY WRITING FRIENDS AND I WANT TO GIVE YOU ALL A HUGE HUG AND AWWWWAAA !!!! i could never name everyone unfortunately, but everyone here is a great writer and friend and i'm happy to be hanging out with all of them even if we've only JUST started talking or writing together!!!

#ooc #long post cw #if you didn't make the list it doesn't mean i don't love you btw #i love everyone who i follow and write with #<3333!!!!!#everyone be good to yourselves and keep writing. i love you and am so glad to have gotten this ask so i can spread some joy #i wish i could be here more and write more but being an adult is hard #so i cherish each and every moment i have with all of you

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dazaii-osamuu · 1 month

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—,, Society? Don't you mean yourself? ”

That came at the tip of my tongue. But I held myself back, reluctant to anger him; I couldn't find the motive to say it so bluntly.

I got my account banned again. Whoops.

But anyways, it's still me! @This user cannot be found!

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yippie small update out of nowhere bc feeling productive(?). not sure why.

//ooc; hello! first of all, this blog may contain some stuff like "dazai" shitposting of stuff I think he'll post? hence this rp blog is mainly unserious (like most of the time now) lmao.

secondly, I will be using some headcanons that are pretty well known and i myself thought would suit his character, so just bear with me lol. although my main ship is moreover an implied skk, there will be some other ships too, alr? some even done accidentally. anyway, in this blog, I try my best to not stray away from his canon personality in the anime and or manga. so fair warning, I might be posting about suicide, sh, abuse, drugs, etc., etc.(man is a walking red flag but ig this fandom is living at a time when colors weren't a thing in shows yet)

however, and lastly, I am a minor and eng is not my first language(which may explain my odd grammar). tho I'm fine w nswf, and somewhat triggering(?) asks like kys jokes, gore, violence—as long as it's not heavily explicit and is directed to the character! And for mod asks just refer to me as sedi/fedya w any prns, it's fine by me.

anyway, ask me anything! (or not, lmao)

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other blogs that I handle:

previously @pms-demonprodigy (I had to put him down)

(four more still in the womb)

@dazaii-griseoo

@raccoon-karl

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//boost >>> from the river to the sea

reminders or support >>> here & here

(most recent on twt but link isn't working. I'll try to figure it out)

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//timeline- not following canon timeline! to be much more diverse w interactions, and etc. so this can pretty much vary w to whom that I'm talking to.

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//anons-🪶𓍯, ryn

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//opinions about others- TBA

**note: only adding ones I've interacted with publicly here + not including ones that have been deactivated! also, I might've forgotten some since I've been talking to a lot of ppl. so not completely accurate.

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//self reflection- work in progress! (procrastinating)

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// navigation tags- fuck it I give up

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// habits-

insanity

every 10 new followers, release an intrusive thought

random stuff happening every now and then and post it as if this was twt

weird philosophical moments (prob bc mod is studying philosophy irl)

ruin chuuyas life span by annoying him

date/flirt on as many ppl as I can

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai x reader #skk #soukoku #bsd roleplay #roleplay #roleplay blog #rp blog #fedyafounddead

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virgobingo · 6 months

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hey! love all your jjk metas :)

just wanted to throw thoughts at you if you are interested!

so the very sparse info Gege provides for Gojo and Geto has, imo, some fridge horror to it. They must remain head-canon but I'm curious if you think my thoughts are a stretch or not.

child abuse cw

I wondered if Suguru snapping after finding Nanako and Mimiko was meant as a subtle hint at Geto, a child from a non-sorceror family, having childhood abuse background. His rampage at the village seems cohesive character-wise, but I always thought killing his parents felt a bit jarring and OOC at that point in his "insanity spiral." The first crime comes from outrage & hatred, while the latter is over the top cold logic- his explanation "it would be hypocritical to spare them" seems underwhelming to me.

2. Gojo having a bounty on his head throughout his whole childhood. He might have infinity but on a practical level, loved ones are vulnerable to blackmail or hostage situations. Logically they are a weakness and the more you have, the weaker you are.

I think Gojo has so many things going on that contribute to his isolation and inability to connect- (obnoxious personality, immense power, trauma from Toji attack) that this crazy aspect of his life is brushed off. I feel like in any other character, the bounty would be seen as a major contributor to their psychology.

We see throughout the story that anytime Gojo loves or shows humanity towards another (Amanai, Suguru, Megumi (even Yuuji)) he is narratively punished for it.

Cheers!!

hello!

thank you for sharing your thoughts! i'll try my best to explain my own. my thoughts on gojo are especially jumbled since he's such a complicated character.

(1) gege has shown himself to be the type to of artist to ground his fiction in reality. i think the narrative overwhelmingly points to jujutsu sorcerers generally being perceived as "freaks" by non-sorcerers. miminana are extreme examples of this, whereas the old man geto beat up in the hidden inventory arc is a milder one.

"how would parents react if their child told them they could see/hear things they couldn't?" -> that's the question i imagine gege asked himself when he wrote this detail into jjk.

i think geto's abilities were a cause of concern for his parents, with the potential for it to have actually translated into fear. he does seem to have a special place in his heart for chosen families. i think that suggests a difficult home life. we can only speculate how bad it was though. enough for him to go through with him killing his parents nonchalantly, as far as we know. abuse wouldn't be a wildly off-base assumption.

(2) i think gojo's character is definitely marked by his station in society. the good and the bad that come with it. people really don't tend to talk about the bounty on his head, bc it's such an "oh, by the way" fact that gege fits into the story. gege probably mulled over it though (he's a serious overthinker). so i don't think it's something ppl should dismiss when thinking about gojo's psychology. some of his self-imposed isolation can be traced back to instances like it.

as an older kid and a tween, especially. i would guess gojo was probably asking himself stuff like who can he trust in this world? who can he open up to? when the world is out to kill him. the bounty on his head also probably accustomed him to solve problems with power/violence.

i think this mindset was disrupted by geto in high school, though. gojo grows to be quite generous with his trust after him. he has a lot of faith in others as an adult. so i think geto, on top of everything, inadvertently helped gojo heal and process some of his pain from childhood.

i say this bc the disconnect gojo seems to refer to in ch 236, seems different. more a result of the higher state of mind he acquires. he basically tells geto in the afterlife that it isn't rooted in loneliness, after all. which i also take to mean, not necessarily in childhood trauma by that point. but a sense that no one can possibly understand what it means to be strong— and still be powerless.

that's why i believe gojo wasn't being punished for his humanity so much as being taught a lesson on how power can only take him so far— time and time again.

this whole lesson sets up the world to be able to move on without him. life doesn't ultimately hinge on one person and i think gojo knows this to be true, which is why he's always so.. relaxed when he's taken out of the equation. while everyone else scrambles to put him back in. (funnily enough, even fans do this).

ppl look at him and think he's above them. when inevitably, he'll die, just as all beings do. which i think is what the following sequence was about, too. and what gojo mostly meant when he said "he alone is the honored one [to come to knows this]"(in contrast to when gege used it for sukuna(x) who goes on to distinguish himself from gojo in the way he only pleases/satisfies himself). the saying has several connotations (x).

hope that makes sense!

#jjk meta #asks

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lunatic4toji · 1 year

Text

YALL SAW TOJI IN THE NEW TRAILER???

his va is the same as dio’s i’m going insane

made me think some thoughts abt my man…….. minors dni

cw: dbf!toji x f!reader, tried adding some plot so it wasn’t straight up porn but i don’t like it, age gap (reader early 20’s, toji late 30’s/early 40’s), unprotected sex (wrap it irl), pet names (sweetheart, baby, princess, pretty girl), praise, fingering, vaginal sex, size difference, creampie, abrupt ending because i said so, this is definitely ooc toji but i don’t care it’s my smut my toji.

your dad was having another barbecue with his work friends today. you always hated them when you were younger, but it’s your first one since you’ve graduated high school, and you’re on spring break from college, so you’re kind of excited. your dad has been talking about how everyone was excited to see you because you were always so nice to everyone and they’ve missed you.

day of the bbq, you wake up, take a shower, and put on a tank top and some shorts. you don’t bother with hair or makeup because you’ve known these guys your whole life, so what do they care? right? wrong. the second you walk outside to say hi to everyone, your breath hitches in your throat when you see a man you couldn’t even conjure in your dreams. you certainly would’ve remembered him. even in the spring heat, he’s wearing a black compression shirt and grey sweats. his scar going down his lips moving as he talks is becoming increasingly attractive. he glances at you when you walk past and raises his beer bottle to say hi, then goes back to talking to your father. you continue around the porch saying hi to your dad’s friends, but you hesitate walking over to the grill where your dad and the beautiful mystery man are.

“hey, kiddo!” your dad says, and you say hey back and nervously look over at the man standing beside him. “oh, hell, where are my manners?” he says, his black hair glistening in the sun. “i’m toji. i don’t believe we’ve met before, but i might as well have from all i’ve heard about you from your dad and everyone else here.” toji. toji. you were already thinking about how you’d moan his name. once toji finished his introduction, you introduced yourself to him and your dad left the grill to check out what the other guys were doing and left you alone with toji. “they said you were a cute little thing, but i wasn’t expecting all this.” he looks down at you, and you somehow keep your composure and say, “my dad didn’t say much about you either.” you wanted to go on about how much you wanted him to take you inside and fuck you right now, but you could save those comments for after everyone left. toji downs the rest of his beer, and while he does so you can’t help but stare at his jaw, his neck, his adam’s apple, his veins. oh how much you wanted to bite him. he throws his bottle in the trash can beside the grill, which snaps you out of your trance. “i’m going inside, sweetheart. catch ya later.”

it wasn’t until now you realized just how many people were here. you couldn’t find toji the rest of the day (4 long party hours) and you thought you had gone so long without romantic or sexual interaction that you thought you made him up entirely. you went to sleep dreaming about him and all the things you wanted, no, needed him to do to you. that was until you woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. you were only in a t-shirt and underwear, because that’s what you normally sleep in when you’re home. you walk into the kitchen, turn on the faucet, fill a glass with water, and take a few sips before peeking in the living room. no fucking way. he’s just sitting in the couch and watching football like he doesn’t know what all he did to you in the few minutes you were together. you faintly choke on your water but recover quickly. toji looks over, confused, but his face rests into a soft smile when he sees it’s you.

he says “hey, you,” and beckons you over to him with two fingers. i know a better place for those. you smile back, sit your glass on the table, walk to the couch, and sit down beside him. “i was just thinking ’bout ya. how pretty you looked earlier.” you can’t do anything but smile. you’ve never felt like this over a small compliment, especially not one of your dad’s friends. well, none of dad’s friends are ever this hot. “what’s got you all shy, pretty thing? haven’t said a word to me since ya sat down. somethin’ wrong?” he looks over at you. “uh, no, just.. uh,” fuck. this is the worst time to trip up on words. he looks at you, worried. “uh, what? you alright?” you smile at him, “yeah, it’s just i’m not used to seeing a guy in my living room when i go to get some water.” toji chuckles and you wish you could take a picture of his smile right now, his face illuminated in the glow of the tv. “that’s fair, sweetheart.” he sits his cup on the coffee table and turns to you.

“i meant what i said. about you being pretty and all.” you smile again at the compliment. he could say it a million times and it would never get old. “you, uh,” you both laugh before you can finish your sentence. “you think i’m pretty too, huh?” you laugh again, and say, “yeah, i do. very.” the room gets quiet and toji looks at your lips then his eyes meet yours. all in one second, he grabs your hips, places you on his lap, and kisses you. finally. you just notice how you’re absolutely drenched when you feel toji’s tongue trying to pry into your mouth. you let him in and deepen the kiss. he pulls away and you whine. “shit, sweetheart. should we.. be doin’ this sorta thing?” you look at him with needy eyes. “probably not, but we’ve already started, so it’d be no good to stop now.” he smiles and kisses you again. you feel the grip of his hands on your hips tighten, and you realize he’s trying to feel you on his bulge. you allow him to move you, and he groans into your mouth when he feels how wet you are through your underwear. “good god, baby. gotta feel you, please.” you quickly nod, and he takes your shirt off while you fumble with the hem of his sweatpants. “we’ll get to that in a second, baby. wanna mark you a little first, yeah?” you nod again. “good girl, sweetheart.” you feel your clit throb against his bulge and grind down a little. toji groans against the skin where he’s leaving marks on your stomach, and you moan softly with him.

“shit, only made a few marks on ya, but we can get back to that later. gotta feel you now.” you take off his shirt while he deals with his pants, but keeps his boxers for now. he slides his hand between your thighs and toys with your clit through the fabric of your soaked underwear. “gotta prep you a bit, baby.” “no. need all of you now, please toji.” he takes a deep breath and considers it for a second, thinking about how hard he is under you right now. but he doesn’t want to hurt you. “i know, sweetheart. but i can’t just yet. let me fuck you with my fingers first, yeah?” you look at him and reluctantly nod, because you want his cock and not his fingers right now. but this’ll do. he hooks his fingers onto the side of your underwear and plunges them into your wet heat. you both hiss at the contact. he starts with his middle finger, going slow while he rubs your clit with his thumb. “so tight, baby, fuck. doin’ so good for me.” his praise makes you clench around his finger tighter, and he smiles. “you like that? like when i tell you how good you feel?” you moan, and toji adds his ring finger and speeds up his assault on your clit. you bend your head down and start kissing and biting his neck. he groans and grabs the back of your head with his free hand. he grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls you to his face and kisses you deeply. you start fucking yourself on his fingers and he focuses on your clit, wanting to make you cum sooner rather than later so he can fuck you. “love the way you sound, princess. want you to cum for me.” he’s fucking you with his fingers at what feels like the speed of sound, and it’s all too much. he keeps praising you because he knows you like it, “good girl. cum for me, princess, so i can feel you how we both need.” your eyes roll back and as much as he hates to do it he clasps his hand over your mouth while you cum, to make sure you don’t wake anyone upstairs. “gotta be quiet for me, baby. i wanna hear you, but you can’t be loud, okay?” you nod. “you all right, sweetheart? breathe, just relax. did so good f’me.” he pulls his fingers out of you and licks them clean. this makes you impossibly wetter. “mm, tastes so good. you gotta taste too.” your mind is still foggy so you do whatever he tells you. he brings his soaked fingers to your lips and you take them in, swirling your tongue around his digits. “shit, if i didn’t need to fuck ya so bad i’d have ya suck it.” you laugh and look down at it cock restrained in his boxers. you know you wouldn’t be able to take it all in your mouth, much less in your pussy.

toji catches you staring and brings his hand to your chin to tilt your face back up to him. “you sure you’re okay, sweetheart?” “yeah, just.. i don’t think it’ll fit.” his mouth forms a small smile at your comment. “we’ll make it fit. don’t worry.” he pecks your lips. with that, you do still worry. sure, you’ve fucked guys with girth before, but none like this. you’re still eager to get him inside you. “i’m ready.” “good girl.” you tilt back a little so he can free his cock. the angry red tip is leaking pre and you notice it has been for a while based on the wet spot on his boxers. he’s beautiful everywhere. you go to slide off toji’s lap to take off your underwear when he grabs your hips and rips them off himself. “hey!” “sorry baby, can’t wait any longer. i’ll buy you as many more as you want.” with his formidable strength, he grabs your hips again and hovers you over his cock. you grab on to his shoulders and he lets go. you look at him, puzzled. “you’re a big girl, right, princess? wanna watch you fuck me.” he laces his fingers and puts his hands behind his head. you whine at him, “toji, ‘s not gonna fit, you gotta help.” he clicks his teeth at you. “no, no. you can do it. know ya can.” you whimper at him because you need him to guide you down his cock, but you’re throbbing so bad you try yourself. you slowly start to sink down onto him and he’s just so thick. toji throws his head back in pleasure and you cover your mouth so your moans don’t wake up your parents directly upstairs to you both. “s-shit, baby,” he groans, “feel so fuckin’ good.” he takes his hands out from behind his head and grabs your face. “i can’t get over how beautiful you are, sweetheart. so beautiful- fuck, and so tight.” you make a small noise at him and he kisses you again. “my pretty girl, yeah?” “y-yes toji, ‘m your pretty girl.” he puts his hands back onto your hips and guides you up and down his cock. it stretches you out so good, you wanna stay like this forever.

“then you can take more f’me, can’t ya?” “w-wha-“ is all you can get out before he puts one of his hands over your mouth and slams you down on his cock with his other hand. you scream, out of pain and pleasure, but it’s muffled due to his hand. “j-jesus fuck, need both hands, baby. can ya be quiet?” you nod, and he takes his hand away and you quickly replace it with biting down on his shoulder. toji starts to fuck up into you simultaneously while slamming you onto him. you feel warm tears go down your cheeks from how good and how full you feel. if you two were alone, you’d both be moaning like pornstars. but, due to the situation, toji settles with you biting him and he breathes heavily into your hair, occasionally letting out a groan when you clench around him. “not gonna last much l-longer, princess. where do ya want me?” you’re not on birth control and he’s clearly not wearing a condom, but you’ve never wanted someone to cum inside you so bad in your life. “inside, fuck, please toji, please,” he lets out a small grunt and says, “you sure? don’t wanna- mfh- get ya knocked up or anythin’.” “‘s okay toji, i don’t care. please, just-“ you bite down onto him to control your noises again. you feel your release creeping up on you, but you pay it no mind. you only care about him. “feels s’good toji, pleasepleaseplease-“ “alright, alright baby. insi- fuck, inside it is. want’cha to cum first though sweetheart. s’the least i can do.” he picks up his pace rocking your hips back and forth and you feel your clit rubbing deliciously on his pelvis. you’re so close, if he could just- “cum for me, princess. i gotcha, c’mon, been doin’ so good for me all night.” you come undone instantly, and feeling your walls close around him sends him directly behind you, almost at the same time. “good girl, baby. so, so good. fuck-“ you feel him fill you up, so warm and so much. you’re glad the couch is leather so it won’t stain, because some is definitely falling out under you. toji kisses you again, hungrily but lovingly as you both come down.

“we gotta do this again.”

#toji fushiguro smut #jjk x reader #toji fushiguro #jujutsu toji #i am feral #my man looks so good

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xhanisai · 1 year

Text

my thoughts on episode derision

OKAY OKAY OKAY

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. LISTEN.

That episode was such a fucking ride! Just like many others, this kinda hit home for me too!

First off, you all know me- I’m such a huge fan of Kim because I love what a clown and idiot he is and see him like a himbo. But MY GOD. Throughout the episode, I wanted to fucking murder him. I wanted to tear him apart for the way he treated Marinette. I know that he wasn’t trying to be malicious and that he’s one of those people (before he apologised and decided to change) that believe that everyone should have the same humour of him and that he doesn’t have to respect boundaries and shit like that- BUT I WANTED TO THROTTLE HIM. HE IS ONE OF MY FAVES AND I WANTED TO KILL HIM!!!!!

People always forget how brutal 12/13 year olds can be whether the kid is being intentional or not! But I’m so, so SO glad Kim apologised afterwards and decided to change for the better. Mad respects to him! I’m so glad he understood what he did was wrong and the way he thought was wrong too.

As for Chloe.

Oh my dayssssss- CHLOE.

Genuinely, to some of you people- how can you believe that she would ever, ever do something nice or kind for either Marinette or Adrien out of selflessness? She TORMENTED Marinette and pretty much everyone else for like four years! I already knew it was bad from what was hinted beforehand in the show and never understood the whole ooc “hmmph! ofc i knew lila rossi was lying and dupain-cheng is telling the truth that’s why i’m on the latter’s side and now will be her new bestie BYEEEEE alyA!” fics.

She is such a horrible person and I LOVE HOW MUCH WORSE SHE’S GETTING. She’s just so lucky that Adrien vented out most of his angry steam against Dark Cupid before meeting up with her otherwise I doubt she would even be alive hahahahaahah! It’s just so insane when you realise how she pretty much controlled the ENTIRE school, especially those USELESS ASS TEACHERS. It was pretty realistic and makes me wanna scream! Man- Alya and Adrien joining the school really did change not only Marinette’s life for better, but pretty much everyone else’s in the school! Those two really are amazing!

And there’s Adrien.

OhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH EVERY HEADCANON I HAVE OF HIM IS BECOMING TRUER AND TRUER WITH EVERY EP! GO ON YOU OVERPROTECTIVE SLIGHTLY YANDERE BOY WHO IS TRYING TO DESTROY ANYTHING THAT HURT THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!!!!! I felt like his anger and the way he first reacted was so Chat Blanc of him and it just resonated so well with me. His first thought every time someone hurts someone he loves? MURDER. And I fucking LOVE IT. GIVE THAT BOY SOME DARKNESS. DARK ADRIEN AU SO REAL LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

He was so overprotective, so patient, so sweet with Marinette and just so understanding <3 He absolutely has been observing her from the start when he started school and knows the best ways to approach her and talk to her and ugHHH <3333 THEY ARE SO PERFECT! He’s so happy and loves being by her side but he cares about her wellbeing and happiness the most and finding out how much she suffered in the past???? UGH LILA IS SO LUCKY HE DIDN’T FIND OUT SHE THREATENED MARINETTE.

And also, his wording to Marinette towards the end really struck me. The whole thing of his fears, mainly the “I’m afraid of losing you”. I believe that this may be foreshadowing in the future...

AND AND AND! THE WAY HE ENDED HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH CHLOE!??!!? DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE THAT WAS SO SATISFYING!!!!!!! I have been WAITING for this MOMENT! YES KID! CUT OUT THE TOXIC PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE! PROTECT THE GIRL YOU LOVE! EVEN IF YOU DON’T GET TO MURDER LIKE YOU HOPED TO LOL. Again- she’s so lucky that Dark Cupid got the worst brunt of his anger because if Chat Noir came face to face with her first? I doubt she’d still have a face after that.

I’m just loving how we’re seeing him becoming more overprotective, impulsive and immediately choosing murder over and over again this season and I really feel like we may be seeing Chat Blanc again sooner than later AND I AM LIVING FOR IT. I genuinely feel like something horrible is going to happen to Marinette and he will LOSE it.

And then there’s Marinette!

Oh my god, poor, poor Marinette.

She wasn’t just bullied- she was fucking tormented. For over three years straight. And pretty much no one was there to help her or protect her from her situation and she went through so much fucking shit! She was so traumatised to the point where she has become the way she is!!!! Her hyperfixation with Adrien wasn’t just because she loves him- it’s so she doesn’t get hurt again! My heart fucking broke for her! THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT FALL FOR DUMBASSES MARINETTE!!!! I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WERE LIKE 12/13 BUT GIRL!!!!!!!

Her life was literally in such a dump and it didn’t help that her parents probably didn’t realise the full story of it and that the teachers were so fucking useless and UGH!!!! Marinette literally went through such a horrifying experience and it’s no wonder she has PTSD!

I’m so glad that she at least had Soqueline <33333i fucking adore Soqueline she’s the big sister that Marinette probably always wanted! She should have been a temporary miraculous holder honestly! Girl tried her best to protect Marinette and even got suspended unfairly! I LOVE YOU SOQUELINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333

I just hope that soon, SOON Marinette will realise that she’s so loved and that she’s surrounded by people who want nothing but the best for her <333 She was hurt by malice and hate in the past but now she’s surrounded by love and kindness <3333 And Adrien was hurt by grief, solitude and abandonment too but now he’s surrounded by life, love and friends <33333

#my rambles #ml spoilers #ml derision #derision spoilers #ml derision spoilers #this was such a fucking episode #i bet it hit hard for SO MANY people man

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fish-spaghetti · 6 months

Text

Zevlor x female Dark urge

Word count: 1484

Some stuff that is worth knowing before reading:

This is my very first fanfiction in English and English is not my first language. I tried my best to avoid crazy typos and insane grammatical errors but there may still be some. (And I am very bad at writing)

I am very sorry for creating ooc

I have absolutely no clue how to use tumblr

I named my dark urge as Tav because why not(shrug). And then probably some bugs showed up and the name of my character became the dark urge again. Funny thing is, this actually happened after she realized she is a Bhaalspawn.

I didn’t mean to create her as an idiot, it was an accident and I messed up the stats so she turned to someone who has int 8… thought it will be fun to explain this as “she forgot everything”

Not a “happy ending”

I am so so so sorry

Right, there you go:

Zevlor remembers her, even after all these years.

He's grown old, to the point where he has to squint to see things clearly and needs to hear things repeated three or four times to understand. No longer agile and swift like before, he relies on a cane to move slowly. He forgets many things – a cascade of memories slipping through the sieve of time. Names of people he had once known became elusive, faces blurred into the fog of forgetfulness. Even when he was walking down the familiar streets, midway through, a sudden lapse of memory would cloak him, leaving him standing there, questioning why he started the journey in the first place.

But he still remembers her—the way she looked and her smile. He even remembers to help her clean the armor and gloves hanging in the room every morning. And that blade, her favorite, named "Phalar Aluve." He put it next to the armor, still remembering the translated version of the drow inscription on the blade.

"I pulled it out. Hard. Pulled it out," she said back then, her sentences disjointed, as if it was a new language she started learning recently.

Zevlor remembers how she used gestures to help him understand what she was talking about. A young man, perhaps named Gale, used to kindly help her complete her sentences and pat her shoulder to comfort her when she got frustrated by her inability to articulate clearly.

After all these years, he still remembers her—her eyes, her messy hair, and the day tears fell from her eyes as she looked at him.

"I love you," she whispered gently, and with that, she jumped out of the window and disappeared into the night.

All that has vanished, leaving only a set of armor she loved but couldn't wear, the gloves he gave her, and that damn blade.

Zevlor, with a rag in hand, gently wiped the armor. Would things be different now if he hadn't told her about the things related to the Paladin? He clenched the rag and shook his head.

He remembers their first encounter. She and her companions helped them when the goblins attacked. Afterwards, she threw a punch at the human boy whose name he had forgotten. An interesting young Tiefling, he thought, introducing himself and expressing gratitude to her and her companions.

She looked at him blankly, glanced at her companions, and shook her head, "No name. Don't remember. Gone." She pointed to her head, "Gone. Memory.Everything."

What happened next? If he remembers correctly, it seems that one of her companions suddenly suggested giving her a name. “We can’t keep calling you Tiefling all the time, right? ” But she couldn’t think of any name herself, she couldn’t even speak fluently. So they wrote down several names they came up with and let her choose. Zevlor helped with the name picking, he read those names for her, in case she forgot how to read, and added one to the list.

"Tav," she pointed to one of the options written on paper, then pointed to herself, "Tav."

She laughed happily, repeatedly saying her new name.

She used to have a lute, a gift from Alfira, she claimed. Her brain was like it had been pierced by countless holes, rendering her unable to articulate words and remember her name and her past. However, she still knows how to use a blade, cast spells, and even remember how to play the lute. She even performed a duet with Alfira and was shocked when she realized what she was doing.

Unfortunately, Halsin didn't bring the lute to him, saying Alfira wanted to keep it to commemorate the hero who saved her several times. Zevlor didn't say anything, just nodded in acceptance.

And her staff, she said it’s called the Spellsparkler and she loved it very much. She was an excellent sorceress, even Rolan agreed.

The staff went to Rolan. He said he was there with her before her final battle. He refused to give more details on what happened, just sighed and told Zevlor that she was no longer herself that day.

"She did it for us. She became a mindflayer." Rolan showed Zevlor the staff, "She gave me this staff before they left."

Zevlor felt jealous, jealous that he wasn't there as her ally. If he had been there, she wouldn't have disappeared like this. Even if the one sitting across from him now is a mindflayer, it is still better than the cold armor and other lifeless items.

He missed the time spent with her, the celebration at their camp where she sat next to him humming tunes, and her tail swayed to the music. He advised her to go chat with others and enjoy the rare moments of happiness.

"Tav.” She pointed to herself, “Wants to be with you."

He tried to continue persuading but was interrupted, "Zevlor, what is a Paladin?"

He explained it was about upholding justice and righteousness, to become a beacon of hope in dark times.

"What about Tav? Can Tav become a Paladin?"

"Perhaps?" he smiled.

After that, Alfira took her away to play a duet together. People gathered together and enjoyed the music. Rolan even joined, clapping and laughing on the side. He remembers how good it was to see their smiles.

Maybe it was that moment, or perhaps some other strange moment, Zevlor couldn't say, but he knew he developed some affection for her.

He had once thought he might not see her again. He got trapped in that nightmare, the sounds he heard were not just the screams and cries of people, and what he saw wasn’t just helpless civilians hiding behind him while watching everything burn. There was also her. She stood amidst the sea of flames, her eyes emotionless.

"You should have saved me," she screamed, and the fire ate her alive. Zevlor couldn't wake up from this nightmare. Desperation and agony enveloped him; he knew he was trapped in a dream but couldn't wake up. He saw his deceived self kneeling, begging everyone to surrender. And he saw the people he protected suffered. They looked at him with anger and hatred, calling him a traitor and a coward. But awakening came too late; he was already immobilized, helplessly watching all those tragic events they could have avoided. In despair, he immersed himself in the lies woven by the absolute. Beautiful illusions, where everyone survived and started new lives, and he once again became a Paladin. And there she stood by his side.

But he woke up again. It was her.

Once again, she saved him, after the Grove, she saved him again.

He thought she would blame him, or maybe she would slap him, or curse him as a damned traitor.

"But Zevlor, in my heart, you are a Paladin. Does oath matter that much?" She could now articulate complete sentences, walked up to him, placed her hand on his shoulder, and whispered, "It's not your fault, not your fault."

"It's not your fault," she gently touched his horn, "Go find them, I'll handle the rest. Trust me."

After that, Zevlor saw them a few times, but he didn't dare to approach them, only observing them in disguise.

"If only I wasn't a coward," he thought, cleaning the sword hilt with the rag.

There were many things left unsaid, but even if he dared to speak them now, she wouldn’t be able to hear. Every day, he repeats those words – words meant for her – to the belongings she left for him.

"Paladins uphold justice and righteousness, and have to become the beacons of hope in dark times." she repeated what he said that day, holding his hand against her face, "I can't be a Paladin. I am a Bhaalspawn, I did many unforgivable and cruel things before I lost my memory."

"No, you are Tav. The past you isn't the present you."

"But I can't erase what I've done." Her tone was calm, "But I have a chance to make amends, to end everything like a Paladin."

"I love you," tears rolled down her cheeks.

He wanted to follow her, but at the moment of leaving, he was hit by a sleep spell.

And then at that harbor, Halsin appeared with her belongings.

"Is this the place?"

"Yes."

"She killed herself."

"Yes."

"Why..."

"She turned into a mindflayer."

Halsin handed him the package, "Maybe you'd want this. Inside is her favorite sword, 'Phalar Aluve.'"

"I know this sword."

"Yes, and the armor she liked but couldn't wear. She said if she became a Paladin one day, she wanted to wear it. And... your gloves. She took them out every night before sleeping, saying it helped her sleep."

Zevlor remembered the sound of the waves and the mournful cries of seagulls.

He patted the armor gently and stood up with the help of a cane.

"I love you."

#bg3 zevlor #zevlor #bg3

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shitpostingkats · 8 months

Note

Hello I have returned with thoughts again

Thinking about Seer Trio, I love them <3 I forgot if they have an actual trio name or not I’ll have to go double check that

Just,,, Jaden and Chazz friendship man, rivalry is optional but I’m thinking ab the TikTok again where Chazz is one of three ppl who actually genuinely care about Jaden and it makes me go aaaaaaaaa. I never really think about Chazz and Jesse’s dynamic but they have great potential too.

I just think they’re so cool, little guys bonding over being able to see things others can’t. Maybe J&J showing Chazz the ropes on Seeing and stuff idk. Man let them be soft. Let them confide in each other and lean on each other and have each other’s backs.

If you want to go a step further make it QPR. I will die on Spiritshipping hill but have J&J be in a QPR with Chazz, I just think it’d be neat <3

I don’t care if it might be OOC in some cases, let them be soft <3 (and let there be angst, we always gotta have some of that, yes? :D)

Hmmmmm family trauma with Chazz and Great Expectations™, I’m a big fan of the hc of Jaden having no home life and having to raise himself after everything with Yubel when he was younger :))) I don’t think we know much about Jesse’s home life, so let’s make it a nice in between of the other two’s. His parents are still around unlike Jaden’s, but they’re more distant and neglectful than Chazz’s. They have expectations for him and if he fails to meet them it’s like he doesn’t exist, whereas Chazz’s parents just get angry. Give them bad parents and little to no support system, as a treat <3

Have them deal with Jaden’s self-destructive tendencies and lack of self-worth (he sees it as him making up for the crimes he committed as Supreme King. They see it as him being suicidal. “How can it be considered suicidal”, Jaden argues, “if I’m not even capable of dying?” Their hearts hurt for him regardless.) Give me angst from love, and love through the angst. Those who hurt and are hurting, helping and healing, even if it’s only by a fraction at a time.

Much love <3

Jesse Anderson my beloved. <3

What is this man's home life. I've written pages of backstory just to answer this question and every part of it is as wild as I could possibly make it because I think having every part of this southern boi be insane is the funniest possible route.

Chazz and Jesse friendship ooooooh. I found it so funny during GX when people were like "Ah yes, the two boys who can see duel spirits, Jesse and Jaden." LIKE! Guys Chazz is standing RIGHT there.

It makes sense tho, while Jesse and Jaden kinda incorporate the supernatural into themselves, Chazz is by all accounts just a normal guy who does not let being able to see invisible monsters distract him from being a run of the mill grunge teenager. And I adore him for it. Chazz being the actual Common Knowledge Braincell of the trio. Jesse and Jaden are capable of subduing space gods, but Chazz is the one you call when you need help on your taxes. (He grumbles and yells at you the whole time and is so grouchy you don't realize until later he was actually really helpful.)

Also YES to qpr. Give Jaden as many qprs as possible. He deserves it. The ideal Jaden Yuki support network is a delicate interconnected web of partners who are all in a groupchat together to keep track of who the hell is taking care of their shared boyfriend over the weekend. Chazz sends a selfie to Jesse of Jaden literally haven broken into his house and fallen asleep on top of him with the caption "come get your mans >:[" and Jesse responds "No <3"

#jesse and chazz longdistance bffs aaaaargh #they both have really complicated feelings about Jaden and whats going on #they send each other music playlists and absolutely Do Not Get the others taste but listen to the whole thing #yugioh #jaden yuki #yuki judai #chazz princeton #jesse anderson #johan andersen #asks #yugioh gx #answered asks

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librosamarillos · 9 months

Text

passed down like folk songs

chapter 33: berries and exotic blends

Maegor Targaryen x OC

Also on Ao3

chapter index

Tags: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, angst, mature themes, targaryen incest, violence, Maegor is a red flag himself, characters are ooc probably, MINORS DNI

this chapter contains nsfw content

Rowan and Lana stood by the bed, both trying not to glare at Murmison, who was ‘performing his miracles’ on Ceryse. It was always some variation of the same prayer to the mother every night and everyone but Aenys and Murmison were losing their patience. Ceryse, somehow, managed to mask her hostility with an amazing grace that Rowan admired fiercely. The hand of the King eventually bid them a good night and left, and all three polite smiles immediately dropped.

“I do not know how much more of this I can put up with. Gods! He is insufferable!” Ceryse sighed as she got up from the bed, crossing her arms.

“Truly! That thing he said tonight, about asking the mother to forgive you for any shortcomings that could’ve led to this? In what world was any of this your fault?” Rowan added, frowning deeply. She couldn’t believe Aenys thought any of this was actually of any help. He had the absolute privilege of an education people would kill for, and yet he was so easily persuaded by the words of that man. Rowan couldn’t understand it, where was all this charm she heard of? He was just some man.

“In the same world where that creep is hand of the King!” Lana chimed in, looking distraught. Ever since she returned to King’s Landing, she was completely bewildered by everything that she had missed. She had been involved in the narrowing down of her potential matches in Highgarden, and she had been away during the beginning of all this mess. Rowan nodded.

“I still don’t understand why he was who the King chose. There’s so many other people he could’ve chosen instead.” Rowan added, completely frustrated by the King’s choice in council. Alyn Stokeworth was a good hand, that is before his early death, and surely there could’ve been a lord that could fulfil that role better than Murmison. He had a very creepy air around him. She didn’t like it. None of the three women did, certainly not after all the prayers for this miracle he had promised Aenys.

“Asking him to choose is where you’re going to have issues. I swear, he tells everyone what they want to hear and nothing else.” Ceryse said sarcastically, finally feeling relaxed enough to not speak in the pretty lies of court. She was clearly and rightfully frustrated with the King. He hated to have people angry at him, but this was not a good way to go about it. Rowan thought for a moment.

“Maybe you should talk to him. It’s been enough time of humouring his so-called solution, he’ll have no room to push for this to continue.” she concluded, crossing her arms. Aenys was, despite everything, a kind and loving man, and he was very fond of Ceryse. He was so occupied with everything that perhaps his judgement was not at its clearest, so if Ceryse went to talk to him in private, she’d surely make him see reason.

“Do you think he’ll actually listen?” Ceryse asked, sounding tired. She looked tired of this whole situation. She had handled it all with so much grace and patience, and she looked like she was running out of both and Rowan could never blame her for it.

“Yes. Make sure he understands that Murmison is not doing anything to help him or you. That way he’ll have to tell him to stop and hopefully pick someone else to be his hand.” she replied, feeling more sure of herself. Ceryse was smart, Aenys could not deny it, and thus, he’d have to consider how she felt about this strange method and eventually, come to realise how insane it was and apologise for it.

“And mention how creepy he is too.” Lana added, her face distorted to one of disgust. Murmison had an air about him, one that made them all not want to leave any woman alone with him. Lana was much less formal about her distaste of him than Ceryse and Rowan were, and she gave them both that push they needed to start being more assertive about all this. Rowan was happy she was back.

Lana had left for bed, and Rowan was getting ready to wish Ceryse a good night, when Ceryse gave her a warm smile, her annoyance gone for a moment.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” she said softly, gently. Rowan stood still, confused for a second, before looking up at her. She could not deny that everything was difficult for her since Maegor left, and she could only pray that nobody suspected anything, as she did her best to drown herself in work, trying to forget, to distract herself from everything. Ceryse’s gentle blue eyes were not accusing her, but they seemed happy for her.

“What?” Rowan asked, just as softly. “What do you mean?” She already knew what her friend meant. So far, she had been keeping herself so busy in order to distract herself from her heartache and the deep betrayal, but lately, the air felt lighter. She tried to forget about the letter Visenya had given her, tucked away and hidden carefully in one of her many books, but Maegor’s words both stung her and pushed her out of that deep depression she had fallen into. She tried not to think of him too much, a task that was monumental, but easier when she relaxed and trailed the routines she and her father had in King’s Landing.

She wrote to him, to her aunt and uncle, to her cousins, to her family that she missed so deeply, even to her two uncles, who were septons in Oldtown. Her father sounded happy that she was feeling better, his words full of kindness and love, that she wanted to run all the way back to the Evergreen forest and crawl back into her childhood bed where he’d tuck her in and read her stories. But the next best thing was to do what they’d always done together, making themselves useful to those in need.

“You look a lot less sad these days.” Ceryse smiled again, treading gently with her words, testing to see if Rowan still felt fragile. Rowan was so glad that her dear friend was also interested in helping with the project, as it was a distraction for her as well, from Murmison, from Aenys.

“Oh… I didn’t know I looked sad.” she furrowed her brows, giving Ceryse an apologetic smile. She didn’t want to be a burden to her friend, not when she had so much on her shoulders. She hoped she came off as more indifferent, as more relaxed, but it seemed that nothing escaped her friend’s careful eyes. Ceryse let out a small laugh.

“Rowan, you know you’re terrible at hiding how you feel. I know you were really affected by what happened, being so close to the Dowager Queen and all. But now, you’re going out more, you’re smiling, you’re laughing, you’re much less… gloomy. That’s good, Rowan, really good.” she said, placing her hands on Rowan’s shoulders. Rowan couldn’t help but smile. Despite how much pain her betrothal to Maegor brought her, she was so happy that she and Ceryse became even closer friends. She cherished her so much.

“Thank you, Ceryse.” Rowan held her hands for a moment, thankful for this moment. It would be better, despite what Maegor did, things would be better. They’d focus on the expansion of the orphanage, then focus on making the city a better place to live. She wouldn't think of Maegor. She’d try to not.

“Are things better with her?” Ceryse asked softly, a look of sympathy in her eyes. Rowan sighed, looking down. She wanted for things to return to how they were with Visenya, when Rowan trusted her more than anyone else, before she shattered that trust, but it would take time. Visenya was apologetic, far more than she’d ever seen her being. She was trying, and for Rowan, it was enough for now.

“I suppose… We just don’t talk about it. We’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. I don’t know…” she trailed a bit. How she wished she could explain to Ceryse all the complexities, all of the unspoken secrets, all of it, to grant her peace of mind, to grant her the truth behind her goodmother’s frosty demeanour, but she could not.

“As long as she’s not causing more trouble.” Ceryse sighed in turn.

“Yes, I don’t think Aenys can handle anything more on his shoulders.” Rowan said lightly. She worried about Aenys. She hated to see how sick with worry he was, how much everything affected him deeply. She promised herself she’d help. She wanted him to stand on his own, to understand that if he tried, he could keep things peaceful, even if it would take a lot of work. She wanted to yell at Maegor, to call him a fool for leaving his brother all alone with everything. Ceryse’s face turned serious at that moment, making Rowan pause.

“I feel it, something is going to happen. For everyone’s sake, I hope he’s prepared.” she said softly. Rowan felt it too, but she tried to rationalise it as anxiety and that Visenya would not let something bad happen to everyone, but she still felt it.

The next morning, Rowan had prepared the detailed plans for the expansion of the orphanage to give to Aenys. She knew he was drowning in everything wrong with the kingdoms, so it would be nice to make him feel like he was helping with something good, even though he wasn’t really doing anything to contribute. Everything was taking a toll on him and it worried Rowan.

She walked toward the King’s solar, hoping that he wasn’t too busy this early in the morning, but as she got closer to the door, she saw Ceryse storm out of there, with Aenys calling after her. Rowan was left stunned, wanting to run after her friend, but she had gone in the opposite direction, toward her rooms. The King came to the door, looking bewildered, before his gaze landed on her.

“Lady Rowan! Would you happen to have a moment?” he asked, his big, lilac eyes pleading for help. She fought the urge to run after Ceryse, and nodded.

“I was actually coming to see you, your grace.” she said politely and formally, as the guards seemed bewildered by the encounter between the King and his goodsister.

“Good, good,” Aenys sighed and entered the room once more, “come in.” he said, motioning for her to follow. Rowan did so quickly, reminding herself that she shouldn’t rush this meeting, no matter how much she wanted to. She was now filled with worry about what occurred just moments ago in that very room. She watched him as he paced around the desk, pure confusion in his eyes.

“What happened?” she asked him gently, trying to get to the bottom of it all, although she knew that Ceryse would be the one to give her the whole truth of the matter, she still wished to talk Aenys through it as well.

“I don’t know! She just stormed out, after telling me she’s leaving for Oldtown!” he said, confused and a tad frustrated. Rowan’s eyes widened, her words gone from her tongue. Ceryse was leaving? Why? Why was she leaving when she had been so determined to stay and not give her position up?

“Did she not come to speak to you about Murmison?” Rowan asked, regaining her composure, gripping the leatherbound book in her hands. She did not wish to jump to conclusions, for she knew it was wrong, but it was now easy to see what happened, when Aenys looked down, defeated.

“Yes, that’s what she started the conversation with.” he said, opening his mouth to speak again, but closing it, regretting his decision. He seemed to understand that he had messed up, with whatever followed.

“And how did you respond?” she asked, patiently waiting for him to speak, urging him gently. Aenys seemed unsure of his own words, like he often did. Sometimes, she thought he spoke them more so to convince himself of their truth.

“I told her that his methods may be strange, but in the end they’ll prove fruitful! So many people vouch for him!” he said, now sounding more frustrated. Rowan frowned. She felt a deep sense of disappointment that he continued to be so blind and naive, so much so that he was driving his goodsister away, the one person who could truly help him with the alliance she brought to his house.

“And have you met any of these people?” she asked, her tone less gentle, but still soft. She needed him to see, to understand. There was no person that came forward and claim that Murmison truly healed them, only the words of others who had seen him do it, as they claimed. But this could all be a lie. “Do you know how uncomfortable it is? To have to lay there while an old man is praying over you to ‘fix’ you? There’s no way of knowing that any of his ‘miracles’ actually work, let alone knowing that this is Ceryse’s ‘shortcoming’ in the first place. I don’t understand why you believe in the word of this man so much!” she said, and with each word, she had to remember to remain calm. The anger she felt was for Ceryse’s behalf, for the failure of the two men to keep her safe. Aenys seemed to freeze for a moment.

“He… he said he could fix things. I thought…” his voice was soft, thin, ashamed. It gave Rowan the hope that he was finally seeing reason. She walked to him, placing a hand on his shoulder gently, before speaking up again.

“Aenys…” she spoke softly again. “There’s no magic solution to fix everything. And I can guarantee to you, the last person to fix things for you is Murmison.” she said, trying to urge him gently toward a different decision, a better one. At this point, anyone could be a better hand for him. “I know everything feels impossible, like there’s no right choice to make, but I’m sure if you try, you’ll pull through.” she assured him, trying to cheer him up a bit.

“Thank you…” he sighed, looking away for a moment. “There’s… there’s something that I think will help.” he said after some time, like he was deciding to let her in on a secret.

“What’s that?” she asked. It made Rowan nervous, worried that he had fallen for the pressures and whims of some lords that took advantage of his kindness. Aenys smiled slightly, standing up straight.

“Aegon and Rhaena will wed at the end of the year. A celebration and a royal progress, they’ll bring joy to the realm, help calm things down, don’t you think?” he asked, looking at her with pleading eyes, like he was asking for her to agree with him, to tell him he’s right for once. But Rowan stood in shock. “You don’t think so?” he asked, disappointed.

Rowan tried to pull herself out of the shock and disgust she felt, he was still her King, and more than that, he was becoming a friend. She chose her words carefully.

“I… it’s just that… they’re both so young, Aenys, they’re still children.” she said softly, trying to bring herself to sound calm. In truth, she was horrified, mostly for Aegon and Rhaena, two young children, forced to marry a sibling? Gods, the poor dears. But what could she say?

“Well, both Alyssa and I were around their age when we were wed. They get along so well, it’s a great match!” Aenys sensed her worry, and placed his hand on her shoulder in turn. He seemed so happy in his decision, the first time in a long time, and she felt a bit of guilt that she had to say what she had to. She took a deep breath.

“Aenys… The faith is already not on the best terms with the crown, not after Maegor defied them so openly. Maybe… maybe you should wait. Try to smooth things over with the High Septon, and Ceryse, first and foremost.” she said gently, softly, trying to tell him that this would be a disaster. Marrying a cousin, a distant one, was not uncommon, as the couple would be raised apart, but this? To have to marry someone in their own close family?

“You… you don’t approve of the match.” Aenys’ smile faltered, disappointed that Rowan was not happy. He looked away for a moment, contemplating something. Had he been relying on Rowan’s support? Did he tell Visenya and she didn’t give him the reaction he wanted, so he searched for it in Rowan?

“How I feel is irrelevant. But how the faith will react matters.” she said, speaking more plainly now. She had to think of Rhaena and Aegon, how they’d be feeling about this. Did they not dread it? Then again, they were not raised into normal family dynamics, who knows how they’d taken the news?

“They’ll see reason, Rowan, don’t worry. Targaryens are not the same as everyone else.” Aenys sounded more calm now, strangely calm. Who was feeding him such lies? His father was always careful with the faith, and Maegor’s actions were proof of what defying them did.

“I… Aenys… I don’t think it’s a wise choice. At least not at the moment.” she repeated. At least if he waited, if he mended things, if he got the High Septon on his side, maybe it wouldn’t be a bloodbath, but now? Now as things were this tense? Aenys did not share her worries, for what seemed to be the first time. Instead he had a look in his eye that she couldn’t quite read.

“I understand that it’s difficult for everyone to see the reason behind our traditions, but it is my duty to uphold them. It was something my father and I discussed when they were young.” he said. He sounded sad. He clearly missed his father, but it surprised Rowan that this was the Conqueror’s wish, to see his grandchildren wed to each other. Especially when he knew what kind of backlash this would cause. It was strange that he did so little to ease the realm into such actions. She decided that the Conqueror was not always the brightest man.

“I understand that, but things are fragile right now, you know this. There’s still time for them, they’re still so young, you can find the time to win over the people again before making a decision that will be so divisive.” she said, still hopeful that she could get him to understand, to get him to not do this, to prevent disaster.

“Divisive?” he asked, appearing surprised, if not a bit offended that Rowan just called their incestious traditions divisive. She looked at him, praying silently to the crone, to help guide her to make the right choice, to use the right words.

“Yes. Surely, you can see that, Aenys.” she said gently, trying to get him to see her side, or better yet, everyone else’s side. She was never truly alright with Aegon and Rhaenys and Visenya, as it always felt so wrong, so bad, so unnatural. Even more when she got close to Visenya and truly saw and understood how bad it truly was, despite her love for him. She prayed that a similar fate wouldn’t meet the young Princess and Prince. So far, Rhaena was playing with puppies and horses, and flying with Dreamfyre, and Aegon was making friends around the castle. She couldn’t imagine them in such a situation. They should be left alone, allowed their childhoods without this mess that could fall upon them.

“Perhaps we should talk another time.” Aenys said, sounding very distant. Rowan could not tell if she got through to him, but her intuition told her she had not. He was merely disappointed that she didn’t see his vision of the future, an optimistic and naive vision. She frowned.

“I understand.” she said softly, as she left the room, her book still unopened. She was supposed to discuss the plans with him, to perhaps get him to leave the castle, to show the people that the King cared about them and their wellbeing. But instead, she feared disaster was coming. She needed to talk to Visenya. Surely she’d know what to do.

But first, she hurried down the halls, passing the many unfinished rooms and half built walls, to reach Ceryse’s room. She wanted to see her, to ask her why she wished to leave. If she could get Aenys to talk to both of them, surely they’d manage to be rid of Murmison’s ‘treatments’. At her door, she found Morgan, who was deep in thought, before her footsteps alerted him to the presence of someone, causing him to reach for his sword, only to be relieved to see it was just Rowan.

“I’ve come to see how she is, she was so angry when I saw her storm off.” she told him, looking between him and the door. He seemed worried as well, but he did a much better job than Rowan in keeping it calm. Morgan nodded.

“She’s packing her things. She said she wanted to be alone for a bit.” he said softly, looking down at her. Rowan frowned. Ceryse was truly determined to leave King’s Landing. She looked down for a moment. Would she be selfish to ask her to stay, to change her mind? She was the wife, the only rightful wife of the Prince of Dragonstone, she had a place in the capital, her voice was supposed to be heard here, she was the light of Oldtown, the one that was to build the bridge between crown and faith, and yet Aenys was failing her, running her out of her new home, despite it not being his intention, and then he was planning to perform a marriage of pure sin between his two children. Would Ceryse’s presence here even help? If anything, Aenys might even pressure her to speak in support of this, risking a rift between her and her own family and faith. Perhaps it would be best if she returned home, at least to avoid the storm that was coming.

“I understand. I’ll check on her later.” she nodded, turning to leave. She wanted to speak to Visenya, to get her to speak to Aenys, this time with her there to mediate, to keep them both calm, to find a way out of this mess.

“Wait!” Morgan called after her, taking her hand in his. He looked around the hallway to make sure no one else was there to listen. “I know you’re in the Dowager Queen’s service, but do you really wish to remain here?” he asked her, looking into her eyes. Rowan was at a loss for words for the second time this morning.

“What do you mean?” she asked without thinking.

“I mean… What future could you have in this city? Sooner or later, chaos will ensue if things do not change. You should come to Oldtown. It’s safe, stable, closer to your home, your family. I know you miss them all dearly.” Morgan said, his voice gentle and warm. He could sense it too, even without knowing, he felt the danger. He was a kind man, someone she was glad she met, and even more glad to know he was devoted to protecting his sister.

“My lord… I cannot just leave…” she replied softly, barely above a whisper. She loved Visenya. She had been there for her when her true mother could not, she was in almost every sense of the word, a mother to her. She could not leave her, to abandon her, even if she was beyond hurt and barely now healing. No, she could not do it.

“Consider it an invitation. Our fathers have not seen each other in some time, I’m sure they’d love to catch up. Oldtown is where your house sells most of the wood is it not? I know Ceryse would love to have you there… as would I.” he said, holding her hand so tenderly. Rowan stood there, surprised at how forward, yet formal, he was being. Ceryse had made some comments about how fond of her he was, but Rowan was too distracted by her hurt to truly notice, to truly give it proper thought. She was flattered, yet her heart stung, as it belonged to another man, one that was far off to Pentos.

“Morgan… I don’t know… I would love to visit, believe me I do, but I cannot abandon my duties here.” she said, placing her hand on his, as he held her other hand. It was the truth. She loved their company, and she loved Oldtown, it was no lie. And Morgan was kind and chivalrous and sometimes even sweet. She felt so much guilt again. Here was a man, a knight, who was subtly making his affections for her known, and her stubborn, loyal and hurt heart felt as though she was betraying Maegor and herself. Thankfully, Morgan did not give her much time to dwell on her sadness.

“Perhaps if she gave you a few moons to relax? Surely, if your father asks her to, she will not deny it. They’re close friends, are they not?” he asked. Rowan supposed it wouldn’t do much harm, a moon or two. But it was still risky. She wanted to be here for the project, she wanted to make sure Aenys had someone to talk to, she wanted to remain by Visenya’s side. But she’d be lying if she said she didn’t wish to run away at times.

“I…” she trailed, unsure of her own words. “I’ll write to him. But I cannot know for sure. Things are so unstable, and I can only fear for the worst lately.” she admitted, giving Morgan an apologetic smile.

“You and I both.” he chuckled lightly, looking down for a moment. “But please, consider it. We’d all love to have you.” he said gently, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “And your father as well, of course.” he added quickly, trying to not be so obvious, let alone when his sister was in distress. Rowan couldn’t help but smile at him.

“I’m flattered, Morgan.” she said, feeling a bit better.

Maegor felt another headache coming in. He had made himself some chamomile, recreating all the steps Rowan would take when she’d make him some. It was like he was becoming even more lovesick by the day. He could not help it. He only dreamt of her at night, and even in the day and yet, he drowned in guilt even more. He read the letter his mother had sent him, the cause of the headache.

‘Your brother plans to wed his eldest two by the end of the year. With how tense things are, I want you to be ready to step in. I doubt he can handle what will come, he will surely rebuke his own order of exile and beg for you to return. Make sure you and Balerion are ready. I want you ro return, looking like the King you were always meant to be.’

His chest puffed up in pride, knowing that his mother believed in him so fiercely. With everything they had planned coming closer and closer to fruition, he couldn’t help but feel a buzz of energy for it all. He had been spending all his free time training, fighting like a beast, readying himself to be a warrior like no other. He wanted to be the strongest, the most powerful, the one that could protect the people he loved the most, his mother and his Rowan. He wanted to see her again so badly, it hurt.

‘I know you will ask, and she is doing well. I gave her your letter, and she’s kept it. Her moods are lifted, and your brother puts a lot of trust in her. She has been getting involved with the people of the city, having plans to make it better, more livable, as she says.’

His heart welled up with pride. Oh, his darling, she kept his letter and did not tear it to shreds! He was glad, so glad that she was better, that she was her old self again. Of course his sweet girl would want to help, she always did, and now she had the chance. He wanted to tell her to just wait for him to return, to claim the throne and crown, and she could do upon the city as she wished. There was no one he’d ever trust more, aside of his mother. He was relieved she was happy again. He selfishly wanted to believe that his words of love had something to do with it.

‘Your wife has left King’s Landing for Oldtown, along with her brothers. She’s had a falling out with your brother. It was his fault. He listens to the fool he has made his hand.’

He frowned. Aenys and Ceryse had always gotten along, how in the world did he manage to make her lose her temper? He wished his mother had written more. Maybe it would be easier that Ceryse would not be there when he returned. It could give him time to sort everything out, and then seek her out to explain. She’d see reason, he knew it.

It was always an unwritten, unspoken expectation and reminder with his mother, the need for an heir, a son. Things were falling apart quickly under the rule of his brother, which only meant his time was coming to take the crown for himself. If he could not have a son by then, he could at least have Alys expecting one.

He sighed. Even from his room, he could hear her and Tyanna laughing. It annoyed him, it distracted him from the anticipation of any news from his mother, but now that the letter was read over and over again, he locked it away.

Tyanna was a strange woman. A beauty, yes, but she had an air around her, her black eyes seeming to know so much, but she would not outright say so. Alys was completely enamoured by her, fawning over her, laughing at even the most unfunny joke, hanging by her every word. It was a bit pathetic, but then again, he knew he wasn’t one to talk. It annoyed him how easily Alys had accepted her into her chambers, after she had barely known her, avoiding any sense in her brain.

Unlike Alys, Tyanna seemed to prefer the chase. She clearly liked having Alys fawning over her, trying to impress her and Maegor was almost certain that she might actually have some affections for Alys as well. He would never care to know any of this, had Alys not dragged Tyanna into his room, on more than one occasion, in order to get all three of them ‘closer’. He did not understand, since Alys was clearly so enamoured with her, why she’d want her in the room while they performed their marital duties in hopes of an heir, let alone want her to join in.

To her credit, Tyanna refused almost gracefully, for someone of her station. She did however, slowly win Maegor’s grace, for her vast knowledge. She had given them foods, berries and jouiced pomegranates, and teas to make their coupling more intense. Maegor just suspected that she was a common whore that charmed Alys, but she was more than that. She had tools he could use when he returned as King.

Eventually, after Alys’ annoying pleading, he relented and allowed Tyanna to join in his chambers. It was awkward at first, as Alys was trying to impress Tyanna, Maegor was trying to chase a dream of his love, and Tyanna was testing the waters. They figured it out soon enough, with Tyanna focusing entirely on Alys, taking great pleasure in preparing her, giving her foods and teas to enhance her fertility, her chances of giving him an heir, and of course, in giving her pleasure.

He was more than happy to let them take care of each other, as it gave him one less thing to care about, as selfish as he was, but Tyanna had more suggestions. She had insisted she knew how to make this even better for him, which he highly doubted, as his idea of perfection was untouchable, but he humoured her. She had him sit up on the bed, while she and Alys took turns stroking and licking him. He could not decide if he hated it. He could not imagine Rowan like this, he could not smell the jasmine, he could not escape into his dream. It wasn’t like it felt bad, but it wasn’t what he preferred. He made a note to stop them after this and tell them he didn’t care for it, but for now, they seemed to want to give him a show.

His mind however, was not occupied by the two women that pretended to compete for his attention on their knees. No, it was in the same place it always was in moments like these, to Rowan. His mind went to her and he was angry again, at the thought of that pathetic Lannister finding any excuse to touch her, be it by kissing the back of her hand or offering his elbow to her for a stroll. He’d kill him if he saw him again, he vowed it. He’d tear him limb from limb and he’d make sure he’d be awake to still torture while he lied there helpless.

He then wondered, would Rowan think the same? Did she also want to kill Alys when she heard the news and he ran like a coward. A far more twisted thought came to mind… would she kill for him? Would his darling kill the two women in front of him right now? He knew she’d never hurt a fly, she was too kind for her own good, but gods be good, she’d look so pretty covered in blood just for him. He wondered how she’d do it, a knife, an axe, a sword? He’d give her Blackfyre, if she could lift it. Perhaps he’d help her, hold his hands over hers while they took the fatal swing together and perhaps she’d let him kiss her while she’s covered in the blood of the two corpses on the floor.

He could see it vividly, far more vividly than Alys and Tyanna, who were generously giving him a show. But that was always how it was with sex. With Ceryse, it wasn’t too vivid, it was a routine, a chore that both needed to participate in and neither wanted to truly be there. But with Alys, his mind could go wild. Her hair was almost the right colour, almost just as curly, her skin tone almost the right warmth, her honey brown eyes almost green if the room was dark enough. Almost was enough for him to pretend quite vividly, and with Tyanna’s aphrodisiacs, sex could be enjoyable, if he could picture his Rowan enough. He didn’t like the thought of her joining in at first, but her blends proved helpful, and Alys was having her fun. If they were all using each other, they could at least find pleasure in it.

It was sick and cruel and he knew it, but Alys didn’t, and if she did, he didn’t care. When he got her the hair oils that smelled like jasmines, the silk nightgowns in green, the honey he made her lick off a spoon before she kissed him, it was wrong and deep down he knew how twisted it was. But he still didn’t care. He loved to take her from the back, to not look at her face, and have her hair all curled up, the candlelight adding that red warmth to the strands that made the fantasy almost perfect. He loved to have her like that, so he could grab her hair, with the same hand the precious ring was on, and smell the jasmine and pretend it was his darling bouncing beneath him. It was selfish, to use her like a placeholder doll, far more selfish than what he did with Ceryse. Alys was certainly enjoying herself, but he thought she was enjoying what Tyanna was doing to her much more. It didn’t bother him, she could have her fun too, since he was already using her so blatantly, why not allow her this pleasure?

Every night they visited his chambers, it came close to perfect, if he wasn’t so ready to pick them both apart. He never said anything out loud, for even he wasn’t that cruel, but it was obvious to both women that he was never truly satisfied with them. Alys would pout at first, before deciding that it was just the way he was and ignoring it, but Tyanna was not one to let things go, not when it was of potential benefit to her.

It was clear what she wanted. Power. He could give it to her, he took her from being a tavern dancer that worked for food and shelter, to a courtesan, because even if he was exiled, he was still a prince with massive wealth. He was no fool, he could see right through her false smiles and fake politeness. She was just like him, hungry. For power, wealth, for more. Many shared such ambitions, he didn’t blame them for trying to come close, but unlike most of the women willing to sell themselves for it, she had more to offer. Promises and potions for what he was so desperate for, an heir. She was a witch and did little to hide it. In Westeros, she would’ve been dead the second she said it out loud, but here in Pentos, she had the freedom she needed to grow her talent.

She’d make a useful ally to have. And if she proved herself, if Alys did indeed give him an heir, he’d have her with him once his brother grew a spine or his five years passed. She seemed content with having his ear, being his mistress, but he knew she’d want more. The question was if she was worth it.

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acourtcfmuses · 7 months

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😍 ― admiring from afar 📌 ― a staple on the dash 🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

🐝 * ― 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑻-𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑾𝑬𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺. ( send in one or more of these symbols for me to pick one blog or multiple i wanna shout out that i think fit well into the category. explanations optional. )

😍 ― admiring from afar

@legeandary - While we don't have anything ongoing, Belle is 100% someone I get excited for on my dash. I'm just an awkward racoon that struggled to get things going. But MAN, is she talented, both in writing so many varied muses and insane talents with themes and templates.

@mcdeofash - Kel has so many amazing muses on her roster and I adore seeing her on my dash so damn much. I'm just always never to interact with people. BUT I am slowly working up the courage to reply to an open or two to get the ball rolling. JUst and absolutely pleasure to follow!

@havvkinsqueen - If anyone isn't aware Victoria is one of the sweetest people in the universe. Even without knowing me, she had sent me some wonderful pieces of positivity to brighten my day and I'm so grateful to have her on my dash. We haven't done writing yet, but I look forward too!

📌 ― a staple on the dash

@theolderhenderson - If you're not following Tin, you're missing out. Elie is one of the most amazing OC's I've ever written with. Tin has put so much thought and time into Elie and her backstory that it's easy to forget that Elie isn't a canon muse (she is to me though okay??). Just top marks, Trash Panda Gang unite!

@managedxmischief - Having Ash in my life as both a friend (at least in my mind) and a writing partner is a joy to have. Ash is a fantastic writer and writes so many amazing mused over multiple blogs and does an amazing job with each and everyone and I always look forwards to our threads, and the tiktoks I'm sent on discord!

@childrenofslumber - Nicky is one of my favourite people, a super talented writer who put so much thought into her muses and their histories and is such a passionate supporter of both her muses and yours. I love listening to Nicky gush about her muses, or our ships and she is just always happy when you're speaking to her and is such a delight on the dash and OOC.

🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

@chaosxburned - JAY MY BELOVED!!! Firstly, I’m so glad Jay is back. I love her to death and I love every single one of her muses and the ships we have. Jay is such a talented writer you have no idea and I would recommend her blog(s) to EVERYONE. She is one of my favourite people honestly! I'm very blessed to have Jay in my life!

@advcnturewithin - AJ and I keep finding our way back to each other's blogs ever since we first started writing and have moved from writing partners over the years to in real life friends and have met up multiple times to hang out. AJ is scarily talented and you'd definitely see that in every single post, there is just so much thought and love behind each reply!

@talesfromthevoiid - Jay is someone I am always excited to write with and is such a lovely guy in all honesty. I'm slow as a snail, but Jay is always warm and excited about any threads or possible ships and is just such a pleasure to write with. He is just all around fantastic both IC and OOC!

#☀️ [ positivity ]#[ look it said one or more and I took the more part literally so sue me ]

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homeless202 · 1 year

Text

No Home Prompts/Headcanons

[feel free to use these as inspiration for fanfics or fanart. tag me if you post it!!]

(disclaimer 1: this is prolly very ooc but it's also not supposed to be realistic. disclaimer 2: a lot of these are centered around Haejoon and Eunyung and can be interpreted as /r or /p)

HJ stopping someone from harassing EY, similar to the frying pan scene. [one concrete scenario i have is a teacher/supervisor wanting to cut EY's hair and HJ, who's standing next to him (i imagine all dorm boys lined up for the lights-out roll call), grabs the scissors out of their hand and throws it out the window. HJ: "you should go grab them if you don't want them to rust" so the supervisor goes away. badass HJ (altho he's too much of a model student to spite a teacher like that). EY is confused and in awe. bonus points if there's witnesses who marvel at HJ's badassery and authority defiance.]

all 6 MCs hanging out in the clubroom and HJ does sth cool or impressive (maybe sings out loud and it sounds good). juwan and minju are panicking bc 'holy shit he's so hot i want him carnally' like tearing up, rolling on the floor type craving. marie is watching them freak tf out, completely unimpressed, with an expression like she's on the office. hara is like 'hey man, that sounded really good' like the golden retriever sunshine puppy she is. EY is just staring very intently at him like trying to figure out a puzzle with a faint thought of 'he should join the theater club'. HJ, poor him, is so fucking confused as to why everyone is overreacting and a little embarrassed that he accidentally did that.

minju and juwan craving the 184cm mommy issues ghost guy be like:

^^ this is how i imagine juwan's internal monologue like 98% of the times he interacts with HJ. just constant gay panic.

all the other boys in their dorms who have to listen to HJ and EY's screaming matches all the time. poor fuckers. they all often choke on the tension those two create in the room they're in. but the fighting is basically like free live reality TV prime-time entertainment, so they can't be too bothered (unless they're trying to sleep). and generally, everyone is weirded out/confused by their friendship (?). like 'why is the nice popular pretty guy hanging out with model student bully who sees ghosts, especially when they're always just fighting?' <- #confusion. but it's entertaining so eh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

HJ helping EY study, maybe forced by a teacher, or from EY's own volition (doubtful), or per juwan's suggestion when EY failed too many exams/classes to keep living in the dorms. i wonder how that tutoring session would go. would probably end bloody.

whenever HJ goes to the grocery store to buy food he also buys a pack of sweets or snacks. every time EY sees them in their room he asks if he can have some. HJ lets him open the pack. EY always asks if he wants some too and HJ almost always says no. after the 6th time this happened, EY confronted him abt it 'why are you buying these if you're not eating them?' and HJ is like 'i buy them for you. i know you like them.' EY is surprised and juwan is happy they're not fighting anymore (but also insanely jealous -> 'when did they get so close? grrrr')

(/r) HJ chilling on the couch in the dorm living-room, reading a book for class and EY comes and wants to lie down but there's no more space so he spreads out on the couch with his legs on HJ's lap, who's a bit like 'wtf' but decides against picking a fight. EY is chilling on his phone in a skirt shorts and with his hair undone. they just chill like that for a while and every poor soul who passes through that room are confused and uneasy abt their lack of fighting. at some point HJ notices the scars on EY's knees and rests his hand (the one not holding the book) on them, then goes back to reading while absent-mindedly rubbing his thumb over the scars. EY is startled and also like 'wtf' but let's it be bc he has crypto to mine.

juwan-marie mlm/wlw solidarity. all 3 boys are not surprised when she comes out as a (disater) lesbian but their reaction is 'oh really? i never would've guessed (/s)'. she comes out to them bc she needs help making hara figure out she likes her in an non-obvious way.

the boys' reaction be like:

marie likes hara, minju likes marie, and hara likes her sport (karate? idr). marie is frustrated at hara's cluelessness, minju is annoyed marie doesn't take her advances seriously, hara is oblivious to the turmoil she's caused. [a scenario i came up with is all 6 in the clubroom where minju just goes full out after shit's been building up for a while like ' why do you like hara and not me? i'm here trying my best and she doesn't even care! how is she so much better than me?' marie is beyond embarrassed and also very done with the bs. she pulls minju outside the clubroom and slaps her in the hallway promptly rejecting her. the other 4 saw everything through the door window and are jaw-dropped-flabbergasted. marie enters again after minju left and everyone asks if she's ok. hara's like 'you like me?' and marie says 'now's not the time for that. don't you have practice or sth?'. after a bit of convincing hara leaves for her lessons and the 3 boys ask marie why she doesn't like minju -> 'she doesn't like me, she just likes the chase. if we were to get together she'd get bored in less than a month and break up with me.' juwan agrees bc he knows minju best and that's something she would absolutely do. marie starts tearing up bc this is overwheming and embarrassing but the boys are there to comfort her. (<- what's even more frustrating in all of this is that marie did like minju in the beginning, before she swindled marie for the clubroom, was disingenuous abt their friendship, and friendzone marie when she told minju that she liked her.) ohh how the turn tables]

^^ this is the dynamic i imagine bc it's hella funny /// @ artist on twt

EY wil fight for kids who can't fight for themselves. if he sees a kid/friend get hit by a parent/authority he won't hesitate to throw hands. he'll step in on the spot and sucker-punch the mfer who put their hands on someone weaker than themselves. [the first time the others see this side of him is when they meet marie's brother, who acts like a massive asshole and stupidly smacks marie in front of them. HJ is ready to say sth/jump in but EY is half a second quicker and already gave the bitch a bloody nose. and he fights with the rage he'd fight his dad with, if he ever dared to do that. like a demon possessed, not anywhere near the way he's ever fought HJ before. marie's crying and begging him to stop hitting her brother, HJ and juwan are frozen in shock. juwan wants to try to calm him down but is too scared to approach him when he's like that. meanwhile HJ is just like 'holy shit, this mfer is actually crazy' and goes to pull EY off of marie's brother bc he got too close to killing him. after that everyone is more wary of him in general, marie is somewhat grateful but also terrified of him. from then on the brother either never hits her again or gathers a group of friends to go beat up a blond high school kid.]

i think it would be interesting to see the bullies who forced EY to crawl two stations to get his money back resurface. that group of bullies bumping into our 3 boys and going like 'whoa, EY? is that you? how're your knees doing?' and laughing. juwan is confused as to what they're talking about, HJ immediately knows who the fuckers are bc he knows the knee story, and EY is trying to ignore them with a poker face but really he's terrified inside bc trauma™. HJ has never seen EY so affected/blank/scared/distraught and is concerned. trouble ensues, bonus points if HJ saves the day (aka beats the fuckers up) and bonus bonus points if he doesn't tell EY abt it and does it in secret.

^^ no thought's behind those eyes. only misery and trauma

juwan and HJ gift EY clothes every time they have an excuse like 'oh you passed that exam? nice here is a new pair of jeans' or 'it's Christmas, this is a jacket for you'. bc my boy needs more than one piece of everything. he needs more clothes and his friends noticed and are now providing. they need to have an excuse/good reason to gift the items to EY bc he will not accept them otherwise (he refuses to be indebted to anyone).

whenever EY catches HJ changing clothes in their room, he feels really guilty when he sees the scar he gave him when they first met. every time, he wants to apologize but he doesn't know how to make it sound genuine, and the apology always catches in his throat anyway. he can't say it out loud, so he quickly makes it a habit to leave the room when HJ changes.

idk man, i just wanna see HJ help EY braid his hair. and EY be surprised by how well he can braid or make fun of him for how bad he is at it. [maybe a hand/arm injury that prevents him from braiding his hair himself and he doesn't want to leave the dorm looking like that before he can get to a girl-friend who could do his hair for him.]

EY goes with HJ to provide moral support when HJ has to go back to his old house to pick sth up or when HJ goes to visit his mom's grave (only 52% willingly). [(/r ->) at the house, HJ would definitely have a mental breakdown and EY would be there to unintentionally aggravate the situation, then mend it and comfort him. EY is also terrified of all the ghost items inside that house when he first enters. HJ is a tad happy to see some old faces (<- the ghosts who live/haunt his house). /// at the graveyard, HJ would try his best not to cry, EY would notice and leave him alone for a bit to mourn. when he's done, before they leave, EY looks intently at the mom's grave stone and nods his head once. maybe it's a salute to the mom, or a 'thank you for raising him well', but in any case, that's the first time we see EY use manners. HJ doesn't notice it bc he's busy with his own feelings.]

parallel to that, juwan and HJ come pick EY up from (aka get him out of) his parent's apartment. the parent's are astounded anyone came for their 'good-for-nothing' son. before the boys leave the apartment building's courtyard, EY's mom comes running up to them. HJ and juwan are in defense/protection mode, EY is just so tired and so done with everything he doesn't feel present anymore. the mom doesn't get any closer, she just looks HJ in the eyes and thanks him for looking out for her son. then she turns to EY and says 'don't fuck this up like everything else in your life' and goes back to the apartment. all of them are shocked by the unexpected good nature she's shown and EY is also a bit upset by her comment about his life but he's too tired to give a shit atm.

when EY finally gets back into acting, HJ helps him learn his lines when he has the time. after his first play, HJ is there to give him flowers and tell him how good his acting was. (/r -> this may or may not be the moment EY really (realizes he) caught feelings) also HJ was gen amazed at how good his acting skills are, like wide-eyed 'wow he's actually really really good'.

(/r) i want EY to wear a skirt as a dare or sth and fluster the shit out of HJ (and any other eyes that catch him in that outfit). EY would tease him for blushing so hard and feel powerful bc of the reaction he's got, until HJ grabs him (one hand on a shoulder and one hand on his waist) and pulls him so he can whisper in his ear 'stop that'. the tables turn. EY pushes away like he's been burned, which might be true, seeing how he got so red one would think he's been sunburned.

(/r) idk if it's canon but i for some reason think HJ has weights in their room. so, EY always stares at HJ from his top bunk bed (where HJ can't see him), whenever HJ's using them. specifically at his biceps. EY is unsure whether he's jealous bc he wants those muscles or if he wants those muscles. (if you catch my drift)

i feel like HJ and EY could bond a lot over music. they are often listening to it.

the apocalypse storyline is not talked about enough. someone needs to write this since wanan only gave us a crumb and disappeared.

i mean, look at this ^^. are you gonna stand there and tell me you're not intrigued?

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