#one time he told me he and his wife (not my mom) had cats because they were never going to have kids

[hellafluff]

.

#fucked up every day about my grandmother dying ten years ago and how that completely changed myself #and how we were cheated out of any life insurance for reasons never explained to me #but i once heard a figure of around 100k #and i just #yeah my mother probably would have squandered that on her drug addiction but at least for a while wed have been okay #im tired of being poor and tired and disabled #im tired #im tired of waiting to die #i dont have the energy or means to live #i wish my friends had better reactions when intold them my feelings #instead of sympathetic Im Sorrys and a change on conversation or following radio silence #they have problems too but i wish we could communicate with eachother and help each other through it #wish my family gave a shit about me #the only ones who seem to care live hundreds of miles away and i haven't seen since i was 7 #well except my dad but the last time i saw him was junior year of college #and he cares but we talk less then once a month #and he never wanted me #one time he told me he and his wife (not my mom) had cats because they were never going to have kids #as if i wasnt his kid; as if im not his clone; as if we dont have the same eyes and hair and love of weird alien bullshit and music #i hate that im so fucking isolated from family because my mother burns every bridge and life line put infront of her and #my father couldnt be bother #dot

[artists-ally]

I think Harvey would be thw type of person who makes love specially when he’s feeling sad. Like he needs comfort and to be as close to his s/o as possible, fingers intertwined and all that nice shit. How do you think reader would comfort him after he had a discussion with someone of his family?

{Oh, My Human Heart} Harvey Specter x Reader

So my mind went to [SEASON 8 EPISODE 5 SPOILER WARNING] where Harvey went up to Boston to defend his brother against his wife's divorce. That shit crushed my soul man, so this is based on that! Enjoy!! Title is a lyric from this song.

Word Count: 3,191

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, smut, Season 8 Episode 5 Spoilers

Summary: When Harvey returned home from visiting his brother unexpectedly, there is an obvious weight to his shoulders as he slumps inside. And it’s your mission to find out what it is and wipe it from his memory.

Tagging: @kjbg-fantasymoon (your request is next babes <3)

~~~~~~~

The door slammed. Hard. Concerningly hard. 

“Harvey?” You shouted out into the kitchen, taking off the towel from your shoulder and set it on the counter. No one responded. Worry coursed through you, and you grabbed the knife from the cutting board. Just in case. 

Your husband rounded the corner and you jumped, but let the fear drain from your held breath and set the knife down. “Jesus Harvy, you could’ve… hey, what are you doing back here?”

Harvey looked indecipherably pissed. He had hard creases in his face and his lips pressed in that flat line that meant someone was about to see that side of him that meant he was gonna raise hell. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and he let his hands fall to his sides. 

“Okay, okay come sit, love,” You reached for him and guided him to the island. “Do you want to talk about it? A distraction? To be left the hell alone?”

That communication strategy had worked wonders when Harvey came home from a lethal case. All the details you knew about this one involved his brother and a divorce from his wife. It had already shattered Harvey’s heart to hear they were splitting up, but this was… this was rage. Raw fury. 

“I am going to open my mouth and let the floodgates go with it, and I just need you to try and make sense of it. Because for reasons only known by Jesus-fucking-Christ himself can this be possible.”

You just nodded, letting Harvey take some deep breaths. You noticed his hands were shaking. He was shaking. What the fuck happened in Boston?

“Marcus called me up there to represent him for his divorce,” Harvey started, thumbs in his eyes. “He told me that it was because she had an affair. I was ready to go kick down her door and take their kids away myself. Turns out, he lied to me. She was divorcing him because he started gambling again and he told Haley not to tell Katie.”

Your blood ran cold, all remorse leaving your body for Marcus. How could he fucking do that? 

“So, tell me this Yn. Why would my own god damn brother, who I spent my money on to build him a dream restaurant, lie to my fucking face? Not once. Not twice. Four times. Four opportunities he had to tell me and he waited till the last fucking second. I-I can’t even begin to describe how sick it makes me feel to have Haley be put in that position.”

“It is wildly unfair for her, and for their son,” you felt awful for them. They were the sweetest kids and didn’t deserve to have that weight on their shoulders. 

“I mean, was he not apart of the fucking family when mom did that to me? Did he suddenly just show up on our doorstep one night looking for a place to sleep like a stray cat? No, he didn’t. He’s my fucking brother. He was there when mom did it to me. And he saw what it did to our family. What it did to me. He was the one trying to fix our fucking fucked up family. To piece it together after the fall out and he expects me to do the same when he did the one thing worse than practically fucking cheating on her.”

“Harvey I think that's a little-”

“Now he’s destroying his own life. No, not even destroying, destroyed. He has ruined all chances of working things out between him and Katie and honestly, I can’t be fucking bothered to watch it crumble to the ground. And the worst part of it is he had the audacity to ask me to win this case. He doesn’t deserve to win let alone ask me. What a selfish, lying son of a bitch-”

“Harvey,” you placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him from walking away. He had been moving around animatedly, now up out of his seat and waving around. “Take a deep breath. Please.”

He did.

“Good,” You smiled softly. 

He took another. And another. “Sorry… just- sorry.”

“It’s okay,” You came and stood in front of him, hands flat on his chest. “Let’s go and get you changed and we can keep talking through it. If you’d like.”

Though Harvey’s eyes were harsh, that anger wasn’t directed at you. You’ve dealt with him like this on more than one occasion, and you’ve learned to recognize the difference. He didn’t dare look at you the way he is now.

After taking his hand and leading him up stairs, you took your time undressing him so he could be more comfortable. Once upon a time he had told you that the feeling of your hands on him could make him forget anything and everything. It was only in your best interest to do that for him now. To calm him so he could see the full picture.

Starting with his tie, you walked to the closet and hung it up in the empty space from where you picked it out this morning. Much the same with the jacket, tossing his still crisp white-shirt in the laundry. He handed you his belt and shoes, and while you put them away, he took off his dress pants and put on sweats by the time you came back. 

“Better?” You asked, placing his hands across your middle. 

He smiled, “Better.” 

Harvey was still sitting, but he rested his forehead against your stomach, just breathing. With calm hands you massaged his scalp and neck, his shoulders and arms. It was important to give Harvey his space at times like this, letting him speak when he wanted. Otherwise he’d just get defensive and shut down. That was not beneficial to either of you.

“I’m so fucking mad at Marcus, Yn.”

“I know, my love. I know,” You spoke softly, kissing the top of his head. “So am I.”

“I just don’t understand how he could do that after what mom did to me. I thought- I thought we were brothers again.” 

His voice cracked, and you could feel the first tear drops soak through your shirt and cool your skin. Your stomach clenched and dropped. You know Harvey and Marcus have been rocky for decades, but since he forgave his mom and started rebuilding their relationship, things naturally got better with Marcus. 

So much for all that hard work. And you had been so proud of him for taking those steps. And you knew the toll it took on him. Now it was all back at square one. 

“I am so sorry, Harvey.”

“What the fuck do I do?”

You paused for a long while. “I don’t know.”

When he looked up at you, eyes all red and bleary, you wanted to fly to Boston and smack Marcus yourself for putting Harvey right back where he was when he was sixteen. He may not have been the one asked to keep a secret this time, but he knows what it’s like to be in that situation. To feel so pinned and powerless. The looming decision of whether he should betray his mom or dad, a constant threat, and either outcome will ruin the family. 

“Are you up for listening to my ideas or do you still need to get things off your chest?” All you got was a shrug and a few spilled tears. “Okay, there’s no rush.”

“I just don’t know what to do, Yn. I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do. I want to beat him into the dirt the most. I want to hold Haley and tell her that none of this was ever her fault and she is not the one to blame. Goddamn do I want to hug Haley right now…”

You had to close your eyes. You didn’t want to see Harvey in this position, especially because you knew what this did to him. It stirred up all those memories and emotions from decades ago. Now they were all at the surface, controlling every one of his thoughts. And there isn’t a whole lot that you can do to get them to stop.

“I think you’re angry.”

“You’re goddamn right I’m angry,” Harvey huffed, making you let out a weak chuckle. 

“And I also think that I know you when you’re angry. And that you don’t think clearly when you are. So, how about we distract you for a while and then we get some sleep. Then, maybe in the morning, we lay it all out again and go over what we know. Look at all the facts and whatnot. Because, despite your very much warranted anger towards Marcus, he is still your brother. And family means more than anything to you, Harvey. I can’t let you spend the next thirty years in regret for not trying. You owe that to yourself. Not anyone else.”

“I don’t even know where to start with all this bullshit.”

“That’s where I come in,” You smiled, sitting in his lap with one leg on each side of his. “Look Harvey, you have every single right to be upset. I am pissed at Marcus for doing that to Haley. But I will not let this drive another cavern between you and him. The two of you have been through enough. He fucked up, and he knows it because you’re Harvey goddamn Specter and you told him he did. But you forgave him once. And you forgave your mom. It is worth a shot to hear him out, and I’m not saying it has to be right away either. Just eventually.”

Harvey’s brown eyes darted around your face, that tight line still on his lips. When you tilted your head and batted your lashes, he sighed out, nodding. “Okay, okay fine you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” your smile made him finally unclench the space between his brows. “It’s because I’m really good at knowing who you are, and knowing how to approach a situation. You’re good at being a kick-ass lawyer and I’m good at taming that kick-ass lawyer.” “You love it when I let that animal out of the cage,” he smirked, hands stroking down your thighs. 

“If you refer to yourself as an animal in a cage again I will walk out that door and spend the night at Donna’s.”

“Okay okay,” he grinned ear to ear, pressing kisses on your cheek, then down your neck. “I’m sorry for being so… hostile. Thank you, Yn. For calming me down.”

“You’re welcome, my love.”

“I don’t know what it is that you do, but you make it all disappear.”

“It’s my secret,” you whispered, kissing his lips. “And I won’t ever tell.”

“I bet I could make you tell me,” Harvey winked and grabbed around your waist, taking you with him when he leaned back. 

“Oh, is that a fact?” “No, but it is a challenge.” 

He tangled his hand in your hair, bringing your mouth to his. He tasted like whatever cheap whiskey he had on the plane and mint. You let your body form to his and didn’t mind the way his tongue found yours. Harvey’s hands were gentle as they peeled away the cardigan on your shoulders, tossing it away to be picked up later. 

He took his time, slowly stripping you and easing you on your back. You wrapped your legs around his waist and needed to have his mouth on yours again. He was such a good kisser. So thorough and precise with what he wanted to do to you. 

And he was always very thorough. 

Harvey placed kisses down your chest, down your stomach and to each hip.

“Babe-”

“Shh,” he hushed. “Just let me do what I want. You just lay back and look pretty. Fuck do you look pretty, my love.”

Your heart melted. Normally he had a wicked, dirty tongue but tonight was obviously different. He wanted something to focus on, and if that was going to be you, then so be it. You surely weren’t going to stop him from spreading your knees and tucking his head to your core. 

If Harvey could do one thing for the rest of his life, he’d sure have a hard time picking between you and the law. While he loved his work, your mind and body were two things even the high of winning couldn’t compare to. Harvey loved you. Ferociously. With every part of his body he loved you. 

His tongue circled your clit, and your hand went in his hair to keep him there. The laugh that tumbled from him was nothing short of star-seeing. One thing about Harvey is if you weren’t satisfied and thensome, neither was he. He loved making you cum on his tongue, loved how you tasted. 

It wasn’t long before you warned him you were close, and he just hummed into you, vibrations making you arch up off the bed, tugging equally as hard on his hair as you did the sheets beside you. 

“I will never get sick of making you feel good, Yn. I love that I am the one who gets to spend these moments with you.”

“Harvey,” you swooned, cupping his face to bring him back up so you could kiss him. Your scent was strong on his lips and made you only need him that much more. All it took was a few impatient grabs at his shirt to make him take it off so you could finally get your hands on that body of his. 

All that time in the boxing gym surely paid off. 

Harvey brough your knee up and pushed it flat on the bed, pulling the other one around his hip. He pushed in, chest to chest with you as he sat still for a few moments. 

“I love you so much, Yn,” Harvey whispered, thumb training down your cheek, your neck. He slid it all the way down your arm and laced your fingers together, kissing them as he pulled back. He wouldn’t leave your lips alone, not that you wanted that in the slightest. He was all soft words and pleas of desperation. Telling you how good you felt.

It was like your wedding night all over again. When the two of you met, it had been in a fury of hands and tongues. All fast because there wasn’t a second to waste when it finally happened. But on your big day, he laid you down, just like this, and worshiped you all night long. 

Every word from his mouth was just him telling you how much you meant to him, his body seconding that omission. He was so dedicated to you, to making you feel good. It was all long, smooth strokes of his body inside yours, the warmth of your combined breaths. Swallowing each other's noises of pleasure.

“I am so in love with you,” Harvey smiled. “I am so fucking in love with you.”

You couldn’t hide your smile if you tried. It wasn’t rare that Harvey was affectionate– per say– but this was an illusive moment. He wine and dined you whenever you asked, you were always his plus one anywhere in the world. But it was these small, yet enormous moments of intimacy that you cherished the most. This was a side of Harvey that took a very long time to bring to the surface. And he too realized the weight of just taking his time and being soft with you. 

“I love you too, Harvey,” you whispered against his face, his mouth now busy with the side of your neck. Harvey couldn’t keep his hips slow for long, and they snapped to yours. Air pushed out of your mouth and right into his ear, right where it drove him crazy to hear what he did to you. 

“Fuck, my love, if you keep making those sounds this isn’t exactly going to be how I-”

“Now it’s my turn to take care of you,” you responded, locking your ankles together behind his back.

A shiver ran through his shoulders and he dropped to his elbows, hips driving into you faster and faster. Harder. It didn’t take him long to reach his high, fucking you through it. His heart pounded underneath his skin so hard you could feel it. A slight sweat at the back of his head where hair met skin. 

When he lifted his head, his eyes looked less… weighted. He looked much more himself. Muc more like Harvey and a little less like Mr. Specter. 

You mentally patted yourself on the back. 

There wasn’t anything you could do to convince him to not drag you into the shower down the hall. The warmth of the water, the heaviness in your body only made his fingers on your scalp that much better. He kissed all over, giving your ass a loving smack when getting out before wrapping a big towel around the both of you. 

“Promise in the morning that we can do this all again and then I can make you a big breakfast?”

“Only if you promise that there will be sausage and bacon,” your eyes were droopy, but the smile reached them anyway. 

“Good thing Postmates will go to the grocery store nowadays,” Harvey slipped one of his shirts over your head, straightening it out over your body. “You look so adorable in my clothes.”

“I know, why do you think I wear them when you’re gone?” “You wear my clothes when I’m gone?” You pff’ed out some air, “Don’t act like you don’t notice the suspiciously large pile of your laundry in the hamper when you come back.”

“I don’t think you know how happy that makes me, Yn,” Harvey’s smile was nothing short of pure adoration. He was never short on pure adoration when it came to you. 

“Yes I do,” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Why do you think I do it?”

“Because you know me. Really really well.”

“That I do.”

Harvey breathed out, shaking his head. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for something anyone would do for their husband.”

“Well, in my experience, most wives aren’t nearly as observant or as dedicated as you are, Yn. And I want you to know how much I appreciate you and everything you help me through when I don’t know how to help myself.”

Your eyes melted, much like your heart when he hugged you. Nice and tight and just how you liked them. You always felt impossibly safe with him, and his hugs were impossibly your favorite thing in the world. 

Harvey would listen better in the morning. Especially after a good night's sleep. You just hope that all your efforts will lead him in the right direction. And that direction isn’t the clearest right now, and that’s okay. Both of you know it’s okay to not make a decision as big as something like this.

But you know Harvey will try. And that is all you can ask of him.

#harvey specter #harvey specter suits #harvey specter x reader #harvey specter smut #harvey specter fanfiction #suits smut #suits fanfiction #suits fanfic #suits tv #suits

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for watching a movie as a family without including my dad? Writing it out, I think I know the answer, but this has still been bugging me.

Around Thanksgiving I (30s) visited home. It was also a trip to see for my mom (late 60s) for her birthday, so I was there for a few days longer than a Thanksgiving trip would normally account for. My brother (30s) and his wife (30s) visited for her birthday too. My dad (early 70s) was there as well. They've been married over 30 years. Originally I'd planned to take everybody out to see a movie as a birthday present for my mom...but it turned out there was literally nothing at the theater that my mom was interested in at all. The town is pretty small, and the options were limited. So instead, we started out with a nice dinner, and family board game run-through of a trivia game we all thought we'd have some fun with. My mom ended up winning, which is rare and was not deliberate, and it wrapped the game up way faster than we'd anticipated.

My dad immediately went back into the living room after the game ended, openly a little annoyed that mom had won a trivia game based on something he considers himself the family expert in. He watches old reruns of the show he's seen a million times on a loop every day, and it can be pulling teeth to get him to do anything else. It was just a fluke, but something the rest of us considered a pleasant surprise since none of us had expected she'd win. But he was annoyed. Given that it was still early, Mom suggested we find a movie to watch online, so we could all wind down before bed with something the whole family could enjoy.

Dad said no. Now this feels like important context: I...have a lot of problems with my dad. I love him, but he can be extremely emotionally immature. Downright verbally abusive at times. And very petty. I'm in therapy in no small part due to some of the insecurities he instilled in me over the years. I've worked hard to set basic boundaries with him. He also has multiple medical issues, and I'm pretty sure he has untreated depression and other mental health problems he refuses to acknowledge that contribute to him flying off the handle at a moment's notice. That, combined with the fact that my mom will 100% never, ever leave him, because she was raised in a very specific mindset that she's never been fully able to shake...means my brother and I usually have to grit our teeth when he starts ranting/yelling/complaining during a visit, or we'd just end up ruining the day for our mom. She's done so much for us, and we just wanted her to have a good visit. So, that's what I did for most of the trip. I breathed deep when my dad openly mocked my stutter, and refused to get in a fight about it. I stopped myself from getting visibly upset when he tried to feed my cat table scraps even when I told him the cat needs a special diet. On other days I tried to watch his old shows with him, and ignored the sexist comments he'd make about the female leads, all for the sake of keeping the peace.

But, it was Mom's birthday. And she wanted to watch a movie.

And Dad said no.

He refused to give up his marathon of old westerns from 60 years ago to watch a new movie with his family on the big tv in the living room.

My mom seemed disappointed, so I suggested we watch one on my laptop in the kitchen instead. Without my dad, if he really wanted to watch his show instead. She agreed, and my brother, his wife, my mom and I filed into the kitchen, sat in less-than-comfy chairs, and watched a fantasy heist film that I'd thought they would all enjoy. And they did. My brother was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the movie (I'd already vouched for it being good, none of the others had seen it previously) His wife kept making notes for her dnd campaign. My mom found it hilarious, and liked that some actors from another show she liked were in it.

My dad stayed in the living room, watching his marathon.

Partway through the movie, he came in and asked us what we were watching. We told him, and he passed through the kitchen for something he needed, then said that we were being too loud. More context: the kitchen is right next to the living room, but my dad turns the tv up so loud in there it can get physically painful to be in the room with him. He refuses to get hearing aides, and only recently relented on subtitles. He also has a habit of screaming at anyone who tries to talk for a long time when his shows are on and they're in earshot, even if they're in a different room. We thought he couldn't hear it over his tv, and so when he said something we said sorry and that we'd try to keep it down, but we could already barely hear it through the laptop speakers. We already had subtitles turned on to make sure we didn't miss anything. When we told him that, he got even more annoyed. He asked how we'd like it if he turned the tv up so loud we couldn't understand anything, then proceeded to go into the living room and do just that, just as I was trying to figure out how much more we could lower the volume without losing our whole experience. We called in that we were already turning it down, and he finally turned his volume back down as well. We finished our movie, turning the volume down during action scenes and up during speaking scenes so we could actually hear the dialog. We enjoyed the rest of the film, and then people started getting ready for bed, and my mom went to check on my dad. She told me a few minutes later that he was hurt that we'd watched the movie without him. That he felt left out. I told her that he'd had multiple opportunities to join us, and that is was his choice not to watch with us. And honestly, the fact that he wouldn't give up the real tv for a couple hours so she could have a birthday movie was really upsetting to me.

She still seemed to feel bad that he was left out, and I'm a little worried that he might've sulked for days afterwards, leaving my mom in an even more stressful environment after I left. Am I the asshole for insisting my mom get to watch a movie on her birthday? And would I be the asshole if I told my dad off for what I consider to be extremely selfish behavior?

Also before anyone asks, no, I'm not cutting him off. It's literally impossible to do that without pretty much cutting off my mom as well, and she absolutely doesn't deserve that. And yes, I've offered up my apartment as a place she can stay if she ever needs to. Repeatedly. She hasn't taken me up on it yet.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[sketchfanda]

A Little Moxxie Love:Cotton Candy Queen Bee

Somedays Moxxie had to wonder if he was somehow the luckiest and unluckiest guy in all of he’ll all at once. Born into wealth but it eas a mafia family,had a wonderful mom but lost ehr to his asshole of a dad. Who apparently couldn’t even tell the difference between a bisexual and a homosexual, no surprise there. To say nothing of that moron Chaz,which lead to him being in jail where he’d meet Blitzo. How much better or worse can vary because hey he met and married Millie, the most wonderful and damn fine sexiest thing to come out of the Wrath circle. Who of course was one very kinky, horny little imp who thought very highly of him in the bedroom, which of course he knew had to do with the current situation he found himself in. It was the usual familiar sort of situation, as he eyed his smiling wife sat in a couch in the corner, her tail wagging snd her eyes twinkling with eager mischief for the show she was about to enjoy. A familiar situation, Millie about to indulge in voyeurism watching him go at it with another woman. Only instead of their apartment or some room in a motel or hotel, they were in the bedroom of the personal beehive like home….of Queen Beelzebub herself. Or Queen bee,just plain Bee even, standing right before him in a sultry pose with those four arms of hers, her lava lamp midriff and liquid like tail glowing with a gleam thst gave a bit of atmosphere to the room. To say Moxxie’s brain was going a mile a minute was an understatement and really who could blame him? Not just anyone, let alone an imp got to be an intimate set up like this with the Queen of Gluttony after all but of course here he was and going by the fact she was stripping naked, she wasn’t here to have just a friendly chat or anything….

Bee:-w-“Like hey now, Little Guy,no need to be so nervous. Your lady there is okay on this you know….”*she playfully quipped,walking over to him sensually as thst honey like tail of her swayed lazily behind her. Those pink hazy eyes of his locked on him as he felt like a mouse cornered by a cat. The fact he was currently sitting shirtless might have only added to the overall mood for him…*

Moxxie:”Oooh crumble…well Uhm,ms.Bee,I mean yiur highness,I mean miss queen Bee yiur highness,I mean my lady,I mean…”*and of course there went his brain going all haywire. Making him fumble with his words as his nerves were getting to him.*

Millie:^w^”Deep breath now,hun….”*She reassured her hubby,as she sat cross legged on the couch. Her body trembling and tingling with anticipation at what was sure to be a hell of a show. Sure Moxxie was all nervous right now but once he got in the mood,she knew he’d bring his A game.*

Bee:”You heard her handsome. Just relax…and just Bee is fine.”*the rather easy going part queen added,one claw reaching out To scratch and teases under his chin. Grinning playfully as they watched the imp hitman take a deep breath,inhaling and exhaling before he seemed like he wasn’t as anxious or jittery mere seconds before.*

Moxxie:”Right so Miss Bee,I mean ma’am,Uhm Bee. If you’d just remind me how and why we are doing this? I mean besides that I Millie had Something to with it…”*shooting a teasing glance at his wife,who simp,t gave him a cute little blep his way. He just couldn’t stay mad at her…*

Bee:”Aah wasn’t much,your cute little hellhound gal pal and your lady here told me all about how you,like,get around? Course I got interested and wanted to sample the goods and seemed a fair trade to let the cutie get some quality time with Tex ya know…? Somethjng me and your little lady got in common we like our men to be happy..” *the gluttony fox bee couldn’t help but snicker at Moxxie’s deadpan glance as he rolled those sweet little eyes of his at that statement.*

Millie:”and a deal’s a deal Moxxie. So we’re all good here.”*his wife waved off. She may not seem it on the surface level but right about now she was horny as all fuck. Her baggy black jeans hiding her slit gushing out pussy juice like oil struck from the ground. She’d seen and joined in on Moxxie with succubi,other demon girls,just in hell alone. But the queen of gluttony herself? This was going to be hot.”

Moxxie of course couldn’t help but remember that yes indeed, that’s the how and by he found himself about to get sexually intimately and acquainted with Bee. Apparently Loona had somehow been to one of the gluttony queen’s infamous and legendary parties. They’d kept in touch and Millie of course got involved which lead to their usual game of arranging these kind of set ups for him. The fact it meant Loona was right now busy getting hot,wild and pornographic with Vortex was the deal sealer for the snarky tsundere hellhound. Which would explain the room next door across the way shaking and echoing with the howls and moans he was familiar with her making when she was getting nicely and intensely fucked. The fact she scored this opportunity for a mutual swing was at her nice of her so he couldn’t complain. It helped Bee had opted to have this in her own room away from the prying eyes and ears of her latest party certainly helped, he felt he didn’t need a repeat of the viral pseudo incest live show he and Millie caused at thst summer camped as Moxxine and Millerd. The Imp hitman casting aside any remaining doubt or nerves as he undid his pans. Dropping them along with his boxers as Bee widened her eyes slightly at the sight of his fully exposed cocky. The crimson red length and girth rising to be more stiffer than the rifles or shotguns the imp was used to handling in the job but knew how to use just as well. His own natural lethal weapon, primed and ready to go rock a woman’s world.

Bee:*a look combining shock and surprise on her face before it took on an expression of sultry desire. Licking her maw as she strode okn over the Imp, the wolf bee purring at his determined yet nervous he seemed.*”Well well Little Man, wasn’t expecting such a treat…like I know you’d be lacking but THAT is a nice surprise…now we are ally gonna party……”*soon as she said this,she pressed her lips to his as one of her hands grasped and began to stroke his imp shaft. Pre oozing from the tip as her remaining 3 hands caressed and massaged his torso. Finding that despite his slim looking frame he had some muscle tone to him. Relaxed moans pouring from her as she felt Moxxie’s tongue dance against her own,the imo finding her saliva, no surorise had a sweet tangy taste akin to honey.*

Millie:0/./0”oh this is so damn fucking hot…”*the shortstack wrath imp squirmed,a bundle of aroused energy in her seat getting turned on just watching her husband and the gluttony queen making out. Gripping the couch arms as she looked on at Bee kissing her way down along Moxxie’s neck and chest. Licking her lips and shuddering at hearing her hubby groan with ecstasy as Bee latched her muzzle into his cock. Proceeding to suck and blow as that warm honey like saliva soaked and lubed up his length and girth, the wolf bee feeling her spine tingle,her lava lamp midriff and tail glowing at Moxxie proceeding to buck his hips in response to her sinful fellatio.*

Moxxie:”Oooooh crumbs…..”*Seemed understandable this was all Moxxie could say as the candy sweet,sugary blow on Bee was giving him was unreal. But that didn’t mean the imp was going to stay idle and not give back as good as he was getting. Which was how Bee now found herself laying flat on the bed, lusty howling moans as Moxxie ate her out. His reptilian like tongue probing away at her slit as he licked and lapped up her nectar. No surprise given her nature and being that it had a flavour and texture akin to honey. Her fours closed hands grasping the sheets,her wings fluttering, midriff snd tail glowing with a cozy sensual haze. If she was getting horny before, the imp hitman’s oral skills were working her into going into heat.*

it was only natural then that moxxie and the gluttony queen’s fire okay would lead them right into the main event. The honeycomb walls and ceilings echoing with the sounds of crimson skin slapping against golden fur mixed with primal sounds of passionate ecstasy. The bed’s springs shaking and creaking as the bee wolf took it doggy style. Her lava lamp midriff a liquid tornados in response to thst length and girth pumping into her slit. The inner muscles of ehr oussy stroking and massaging that alpha imp cock as the tip pounded at the door of her womb. Her tail wrapped around his waist as the slimes warmth massaged and soothed his muscles, his hips becoming nearly a blur as his heavy golf ball sized smacking her clit as her ass and tits jiggled and bounced every impact. Millie by this point had stripped off her clothes,naked as they were as she played with herself with lusty abandon. Squeezing her tits and and probing her pussy with abandon, eyes glowing with pink hearts at this front row up close and personal display of her Moxxie’s raw sexual prowess. Nothing got her more turned on than this.

Millie:”just couldn’t help myself,ya know?”*The wrath imp quipped as she knelt on the bed,licking away where Moxxie’s dick met and connected with Bee’ a pussy lips. The pair in a mating press as the gluttony queen used her four arms to hold her own legs back, grunting Moxxie deeper reach and penetration. Millie got so turned on,she added herself to the mix. That was after 5 rounds in from her man cumming inside the honey bee wolf. Not that Bee didn’t mind, if anything it was nice case of lust and gluttony going hand in hand.*

Bee:”mmm you taste sweet as you look cutie…”*the gluttony queen quipped erotically as the shortstack imp sat on her muzzled face. Her tongue lapping away at Millie’s sloppy pussy,drinking up her juices as the tangy taste dazzled her tastebuds. Noting a rather cotton candy flavour to her delight as husband and wife made out above her, moxxie fucking her in basic but effective missionary as his shaft jackhammered away into her sticky,warm honeypot.*

Moxxie:oooh crumbscrumbscumcrumbscsnt’sstopwon’tstop…”*The imp hitman’s words like his mind going a mile a second as pleasure filled his libido to levels you’d never think an imo his height and what not could be capable of. Fucking his wife’s pussy as Millie laid atop the queen of gluttony, the two infernal hotties making out as their tongues danced together in a shared mutual lust for the alpha male imp rocking their worlds. His heavy balls smacking their clits as he switched between which pussy or eben their assholes he’d be fucking. The bedsheets stained with sweat,honey and juices as the room was becoming a mess.*

As the party was going on inside Bee’s mansion,a veritable flavour morty of sweets,confectioneries and booze flowing. All the while their hostess was having the time of life in her own way. Her and Millie changing it up between one on one to two on one with Moxxie any and every instance he came. Their holes overflowin and oozing with his seed with so far no signs of slowing down to a stop. Which was all well and good for Loona as the longer they went at it,the longer she got some one on one time with Tex. The hellhound roadie’s room becoming a more trashed than his boss verosika on one of her Bee honey fuelled benders. The queen of gluttony thinking even in her orgasmic haze that this little arrangement wasn’t going to be just a one time thing that was for sure. Millie was a spitfire and her husband more than exceeded expectations. How sweet it truly is…

#sketchfan #sketchfanda #sketchfan85 #helluva boss #moxxie smut #moxxie #moxxie helluva boss #helluva moxxie #beelzebub #queen beelzebub #millie helluva boss #helluva millie #loona #loona helluva boss #queen bee helluva boss

[lady-of-imladris]

I bring to you:

The Reason I Am Miserable Today ft. Sunday Family Lunch which I absolutely resent. ALWAYS.

In attendance: Me, Mom, Sister, Dad, Grandma&Grandpa and other Grandma

The usual procedure:

- soup (with meat so I don't eat it)

- main course (meat so I don't eat it)

- some kind of dessert on occasion

- Grandpa saying he wants to leave and yet remaining seated for at least 2 more hours

Today's special issues: daylight savings so we all "lost" one hour and I have allergies ft. Bonus past trauma and being compared to a cow.

Soup was relatively harmless, I was not at the table, I was in the kitchen warming up some leftovers so I had something to eat. I join everyone for the main course, the second comment about me not eating the same food as everyone else is made. It's fine. Im used to it.

Everyone's eating, things are going great, my Grandpa has managed not to say anything shitty to my mom (so far). He starts making sarcastic comments towards his wife (she has dementia and he is literally just am asshole). My dad leaves to join the cat in an afternoon nap because he has finished eating and KNOWS whatever follows is not gonna be good for anyone.

Other Grandma makes a comment along the lines of "oh you must be so tired since you couldn't sleep until the afternoon today and because of daylight savings", ok fine I brush it off. I have to blow my nose because this week my allergy is really bad. It's always just one week in Spring but that one week is hell. My sister makes a rude comment about the way I blow my nose. Normal bickering between sisters but this is where it starts becoming too much for me.

I get up from the table and sit on the sofa. Other grandma, about to leave, ALSO makes a comment about my allergy which basically just meant "I'm sorry you have to go through this" BUT IT'S GERMAN AND OF COURSE IT'S THE SAME SENTENCE FOR THAT AS IT IS "OH WELL IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT".

I KNOW that the next thing will be my mom saying that "she's told me multiple times to go to this 'doctor' to get my allergies deleted". Yes. Deleted. I don't even WANT to know how. And the last time she took me to a 'doctor' gave me issues that I will NEVER get over.

The next comment would be from my Grandpa about me being so sickly and not eating meat and how I don't have a boyfriend and will never be able to give him great-grandchildren. The last time we all went down this very joyful path someone said "cows only eat grass and they have plenty of children".

So in anticipation of my past trauma coming back up and being compared to a cow again, I got up and left and now my other Grandma is feeling guilty about making that comment (and she did not mean anything bad AT ALL) and now I'm feeling guilty for leaving but I know it would've been worse if I stayed.

I have two more family events to go to today that I can't get out of and I can't stop crying.

So happy fucking easter

#julia.exe #the joys of sunday family lunch #am I just whining? maybe #i hate this

[lichfucker]

Hello please take this as an excuse to go off about cat mom bc I am Intrigued by Wander now 👀

sldjkfslkdfc thank you for enabling me iz 🥰🥰

wandering eye is a mountain lion tabaxi scout rogue and her stats are terrible but she's SO fast. I made her as my backup character for ingot after the very first session of reforged bc jd had been talking about what a shame it was that none of us were playing rogues lmfao. in like session six or something the party ran into wander while out traveling, and jd played her as an npc, and I've been sitting on the fact that that was me the whole time for the past four years.

wander grew up in an insular tabaxi community in the mountains that devoutly worshipped eyhemet, the g-d of the sun and fate and harmony (a cat lying in the sun is a holy experience). one morning when she was seven years old, the wind blew just right, and she locked eyes with a girl named sunrise over ashen peaks (ash for short, a snow leopard), and they both knew. fate had struck. they were destined for each other. they got married in their late teens, and ash became a cleric.

the continent where reforged takes place has a mountain range splitting it down the middle, and the two nations on either side of the mountains have been at war for the past fifty years, with the entire mountain range being disputed territory or active war zones or otherwise difficult to cross. one day when wander and ash were in their early twenties, a goblin refugee stumbled into town, seeking help to pass through the mountains. wander and ash volunteered-- wander being fast and quiet and knowing the land better than anyone, and ash being strong and protective and having healing magic made them the perfect pair for the job. so they did it. and they kept doing it. they built their lives around smuggling people across the border in both directions.

eventually ash got into a bit of strife with her g-d and they broke their faith. they met suri (one of the campaign's major npcs), a follower of the secret g-d of thieves, the unnamed thirteenth. suri told them she was planning to start a thieves' guild in the capital city and asked them to join, so they did. they found their new home in the city, and their new home in the unnamed thirteenth.

wander and ash kept doing their transport work, constantly traveling. when they were in town, they'd be surrogate moms to all the ruffians joining the guild, but they were usually gone, especially as the war continued. one day they were sneaking a prisoner out of the capital, but he changed his mind about the destination halfway through the trip, which ultimately led to them getting caught. wander was quick enough to break away from the cops, but ash... wasn't. ash was imprisoned in a magical tower designed to make people forget about their loved ones inside. soon enough the details of their existence just fade from your memory.

by the current point in the campaign, they're in their mid-40s and ash has been locked up for about five years. most people by now have forgotten all about ash. but not wander. nobody knows why. maybe it's a gift from the unnamed thirteenth. maybe it's a gift from eyhemet. maybe it's something stranger than that. but wander remembers. she dresses for stealth and concealment, but she always leaves her wedding band visible. she talks in the plural-- always saying "we," "us," and "our" instead of "I," "me," and "my"-- as a constant reminder that there should be someone beside her. she has extremely high dex and charisma but all the rest of her stats are garbage because those are all ash's skills and wander is incomplete without her.

wander has the keen mind feat and burns all written correspondence as soon as she's read it. all written correspondence she sends includes instructions to burn it, too. do not keep traceable evidence of her existence, and do not ever use her name. if anyone asks, her name is sight unseen, and her wife is named mist on the horizon. (for security, she doesn't use anyone else's name, either-- she refers to everyone by coded monikers and nicknames and epithets.) the government made sunrise over ashen peaks a ghost; wandering eye has become a shadow in kind.

basically, wander is an excuse for me to cry every time I listen to skeleton key by dessa.

#quaxorascal #thanks iz #bluh bluh #long post #wander #ash

[goodluckclove]

WIP Tag Game!

Whoa tagged again by the brilliant @ivaspinoza! Check her out if you're down for what I imagine to be some intense bloodsucking existentialism!

I'll do this for all of Songbird Elegies as a whole. I'm on book two right now - Blind Trust comes out June 20th!

Read below to hear some things about the origins of the series that I haven't actually said yet and probably won't say again.

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

Funny story! I hadn't written anything tangible for months since leaving my terrible copyrighting job. I was absolutely miserable. I ended up leaving my second job because of a medication problem and spent a week in bed detoxing off of Seroquel withdrawal - bad bad don't do that if you can help it. After that I fell into recovery and just had no idea what to do with my days.

The turning point was when I sent an email going fully no-contact with my across-the-board abusive parents. They did some awful things across the course of my life and I'm still spending a good chunk of time making up for their ridiculous medical neglect. I might need throat surgery because of them. Not great! But anyways, I sent that email and wrote the first 15 pages of Blind Trust later that day, sitting on the floor while my wife took a nap on the couch. It just came out. Wife said they liked it so I just kept going.

Three months and two data losses later and the first draft was done!

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I have so many Songbird Elegy playlists oh my God. It's hard to say, and the answer will change, but right now it's "Love Me, Normally" by Will Wood.

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

They're all very important to me for different reasons. Scott is the one I tend to talk about the most because he captures a lot of mania and upbeat romanticism, qualities of myself that I value despite the obvious faults. Edgar is just as important, but they represent a lot of my current struggles and I'm doing a lot of healing and processing through them which is good but less - you know - fun?

Tenzin reminds me of my wife with her quiet stoicism. Katy reminds me of my older sister and everything she sacrificed to keep me and my siblings alive. She's more of a mother to me than my own mother. My sister is actually the first person to finish Blind Trust after I finished it.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Disco Elysium maybe? Griffin and Sabine - has anyone else read that? The Witcher, but specifically the novels? Requiem for a Dream for later books. Tales of the City in terms of tone and character focus. Fleet Foxes and Hoizer and early Decemberists?

Good, warm soup. If you like a bowl of good, warm soup, you will enjoy Songbird Elegies.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Definitely Edgar's arc. Their experience with their metaphorical (or are they??) inner child and the abuse they've been working to escape and recover from has been hard to look at directly. Especially once I introduced Scott's mother, who's turned into a weird mix of the maternal figure I wish I had and the one I feel I could've been if I chose that path.

Yesterday I found myself writing how I wish it went when my wife met my parents, through Scott and Edgar meeting Scott's mom. The sharing of parental pride and affection despite potential embarrassment. It's a cute scene, but there's a lot of grief in there for me. I wonder if it'll show.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Wilford Brimley is Katy's pet Persian cat. He is old and weird and a little fucked up. I had to edit his introduction in Blind Trust because it was six (small) paragraphs and Wife told me that was unreasonable (skill issue), but I can include some canon info:

He shoves his paw under the bathroom door while people are in the bathroom

He likes feet

Edgar sometimes shares little bits of cheese with him

Once he fell asleep in Edgar's lap but then peed in his lap and just kept sleeping in the piss

Edgar treat him like a weird cousin he has to make conversation with during holidays

Wilford thinks he's his brother and an equally fucked up cat

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Cars mostly! Edgar has a shitty used car that's always close to breaking down. Katy has a newer car that's still used, but she takes very good care of it - I think it's a Fiat. I think Tenzin probably uses the car Scott's Dad left behind after he died, which is a vintage Cadillac convertible that Scott's Mom fixed up.

Scott is the only one without a license since he essentially has a magical dissociative disorder and hasn't yet felt safe behind the wheel. In Blind Trust he's taken every form of public transit to cross the country. I think when he was younger he used to skateboard to get around Bluerose.

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

I'm close to 40k into book two!

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

I have hopes that people will enjoy the tenderness of it. I'm like a reverse-whump ace writer, in that I've written a series that's aggressively pro-comfort and recovery. People start off in pretty sorry states and then make the difficult effort to put themselves and each other back together.

There's explicit ace representation in Scott and aroace rep in Katy (she doesn't know it yet though shhh). Edgar comes out as Agender and changes pronouns midway into the series, but still keeps presenting as androgynous/masc leaning. There's diversity in body types and gender identities in a way that feels warranted to me - Scott has Klinefelter's and grew up taking T, and he made a best friend that came out so she could take her E with him. Same goes with disabilities in prominent characters, though the main four focus on what I have personal experience in.

As a disabled queer writer I hope to make a series that tells a fantastical story about people like me that doesn't pander specifically to my market.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

I hope people read it. I hope they like it. It'd be cool if I could talk to people about it. I've been pretty deep in the Songbird Elegy fandom for some time now haha.

On a more serious note I hope there's a market for non-sexualized romances that are still hyper intimate. I know I'm into it but I'm still not sure if other people are. I'd like to create more media about positive and fulfilling ace relationships, both romantic and platonic. I'm tired of people seeing that type of life as a loss. Any healthy companionship is not a loss.

I want people to read Songbird Elegies and think about the love in their lives and in themselves. All of it, in every way. Yeah.

I tag @ryns-ramblings! I wanna hear about your thing!

#writers on tumblr #writeblr #writing community #blind trust #writing #on writing #migration patterns #queer writers #agender #asexuality #songbird elegies #authors of tumblr

[buckyswifesblog]

can you do where sebastian stan have a daughter with his wife reader. he gets slightly emotional when their daughter going to kindergarten for the first time

Emotional

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Summary: Hailey is Sebastian Stan and yn daughter she is only five years old and happy to going to kindergarten

—————————————————-

Hailey been asking her parents to get her stuff ready to go to school, yn took her to Walmart and target to her supplies ready and uniforms for her to take.

Hailey was walking in the backpack section and saw a backpack of the avengers, Hailey being a fan of them took and went to show her mother “ mommy mommy look avengers “ yn laugh at her with a smile on her face and getting the backpack for her, Hailey knew that her father was friends with captain America and the rest so she decided to take it to show it to her father. Yn and Hailey walk in the school supplies section and got her everything she needed it.

At home Hailey took out her backpack and went running to her parents room to show Sebastian “ daddy daddy look avengers “ “ I see sweetie “ , after Sebastian seeing her backpack Hailey took it and went running back to her mother for her to put her school supplies in, all of her supplies where cute drawings like princess,cats , butterflies but her backpack was all different than that.

Sebastian thought it will be nice for Hailey going to first grade but yn instead of her going to kindergarten for her to make friends and live a normal life, “yn do u think it’s a good idea for her to go to school” “ yes Sebastian ik that will be hard since she is daughter of Sebastian Stan but we have to leave her live a normal childhood not a childhood where is a lot of paparazzi” “ u right .

Yn ask Hailey to pick up her toys and get ready to sleep for her to get energy tomorrow at school, Hailey did what her mom told her and went to put her pjs on.

Next day ( first day of school )

Yn woke up at six fifteen to make pancakes for Hailey since she loves her chocolate chip pancakes she decided to make it and but some frites on top, at seven o clock she went and woke up Hailey for her to be ready to get dress and eat her breakfast. “ Hailey wake up sweetheart it’s ur first day of school” Hailey out of no where woke up and started jumping on the bed all excited “ Yey my first day of kindergarten “ yn laughing on how much energy she had “ get ready sweetheart I made u ur favorite pancakes “” chocolate chip “ “ yes honey chocolate chip “ after eating yn did her hair two pigtails and matching bow on each one she told Hailey to go get her backpack before it’s late Hailey went running to get it and saw her father on the bed all sad Hailey went and ask him “ why u crying dad “ “ oh nothing sweetie it’s because u are growing up so fast and u going now to kindergarten “ Hailey being all heartbroken hug her father for him not to be sad “ don’t be sad dad me coming back and we can play dolls when I get back home” Sebastian hearing this make his heart all good and wonder of he got this amazing daughter. Before Hailey leave Sebastian walk in the living room and told his daughter “ Hailey nothing about dating boys or anything like that do u understand miss “ Hailey laughing at her father “ ok daddy bye bye “ she said hugging his leg, Sebastian saw how her daughter was happy and see when his daughter and wife leave the parking spot, Sebastian always wondering how his daughter future will be.

#ynn #fanfic #sebastian stan #sebastian stan one shot #sebastian stan series #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you

[fcllxn-stcr]

//I have to say, out off all fandoms I've rp'd in so far, this is probably the most welcoming one. 🥹

All in all, you actually have my husband to thank for getting me into the game in the first place. Because I was super reluctant to begin with because I haven't done anything DnD related in years (my attention span is not what it used to be). After a few gentle nudges, I finally bit and went for it.

In the beginning, my husband was always like, 'Don't use Astarion, he's bad," which only made me want to even more. *insert evil laugh here*

And man, did I fall hard for him. Somehow my husband figured it out immediately and gives me a hard time about it. 'Have fun with your vampire boyfriend!' he says with the biggest shit eating grin. Also doesn't help that he points out that I turn red every time he does this.

I'll also say, this has helped me through some rather unsettled times stemming back beginning in November. (I'll detail under the cut because personal stuff and possible triggers. And it's long and I'm not gonna force anyone to read into it if they don't want)

But somehow, out of it stemmed my muse for Astarion. I had told myself that Kojiro would probably be my last muse, but clearly that wasn't the case and I'm glad! :3

First I lost one of my long time cats and friend, Padme. Despite all the pain, I was able to find comfort in that she was no longer suffering.

Then it's suddenly brought to my attention, almost nearly twenty years after I lost her, my mother has some sort of retirement plan that I was never informed of and it was bestowed upon me to handle it, of course (everything had to be probated because both her and my step dad passed at the same time. And my step dad and a son and daughter). Being as long as it has been, I had the absolute worst time getting things verified and trying to find a bank that would work with me. After three failed tries, I was only able to find one because of... her connections as a cop... That's all I'm gonna say. Bottom line is it's done and finally taken care of, for the most part...

Finally, I had a bombshell dropped on me that my grandmother on my dad's side (who is the only actual parent I have left) suddenly fell ill and was hospitalized. He called me to inform me the first time and then again the next day that she took a turn for the worse.

He handled this by traveling down from northeast Oklahoma down to far southern Texas to see her... With my step mom, step sister and her daughter in law. I found out about this offhandedly through Facebook, posted by the daughter in law and Tagging everyone. I was never personally informed they were doing this. Not only that, that same evening my grandmother passed.

I learned about that part the next day... On Facebook. My dad didn't even call me until about a couple hours after it was posted. And acted like nothing was wrong with it. Including the step sister and her daughter in law. (And its honestly not the first time they've all done something like this to me)

For two days throughout this ordeal, I had to leave work early twice. Once because I lost it and couldn't stop crying, the next because I was so angry that I almost felt feverish.

All of made me realize where I truly stood in my dad's life. He has his wife, my step sister, and has grandkids and even great grandkids through her. His ideal family. Anymore, I'm only an afterthought. I find out about all of their family functions on Facebook and only hear from him on some holidays and birthdays.

I don't know if it's because I had a different mother and am half indigenous and look too much like her. I'm married but don't want kids. My views are a complete 180 from when I associated more with them. Or my step mom's influence (which could be considered abusive to me at times, let alone racist)... I don't know, but only recently have I realized that I actually lost him a long time ago. He's also not in the best of health, but at least he has a family who's willing to give him what he wants, I guess.

I've tried. I really have, but I'm the only one putting forth the effort. And I just can't anymore.

My husband and our two good friends have been my family. And my only source of salvation throughout all this. Letting go is damned difficult for me because I'm still struggling with it. And I may never truly be able to do it, but I'm in no way alone. And for that I'm incredibly thankful.

#ooc || Zorra Lynn speaks #family death mention cw #abuse mention cw #family loss cw #long post under the cut #personal issues cw

[sagiow]

15 questions

tagged by @tough-n-dumb, thanks friend!

Were you named after anyone?

Not “after”, per se, but my dad “discovered” my name after making a new friend in the glorious Montreal Red Light Disco District... who turned out to be an Italian exotic male dancer (he never told my mom that’s where he got the inspiration from until 30-some years later)

My middle name is my mom’s because my frazzled, mid-20s, overwhelmed first-time parents hadn’t thought of one before he went to register my birth so he kinda blanked and went with hers and she was pissed off because she doesn’t  like her name.

0/2, Papa.

When was the last time you cried?

Some time in the last month.

Do you have kids?

Two, elementary school age, although the eldest is solidly in his tweens and giving me a fantastic preview of the fun years ahead.

Do you use sarcasm?

Just did, didn’t I?

Actually, much less than I used to when I was younger. Mostly for joking around  or ranting about our incompetent colleagues with my work wife.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Not to sound like a hippie on Main, but I’d say their energy? Their vibe? Some people come off as very warm, and others colder (and some, downright antipathic). Some have this bubbling, crackling energy to them, others are super chill and calm. Some have this spark of intelligence or quick wit about them, and others make you wonder if there’s anybody home. So a bit of all of that.

A smile, greeting and eye contact (can all be super quick, just acknowledge you see the other person) go a long way in giving off good vibes, so we’ll definitely start on the wrong foot if the other person doesn’t do any of those. Be polite.

What’s your eye color?

Brown

Scary movies or happy endings?

I don’t like scary / horror movies with gore and torture. I do enjoy a good ghost story (the Gothicker, the better) and some psychological horror.

Love happy endings although unhappy ones definitely inspire a lot more fanfic.

Any special talents?

I never look at the picture when doing jigsaw puzzles and WILL complete it before you do.

Where were you born?

Province of Québec, Canada

What are your hobbies?

Phew... there’s a few, and they tend to be seasonal. Summer is reading, hiking, baseball, gardening, camping. Other seasons have baking, crochet, watching TV, playing old-school computer games, and getting ready for whatever holiday or birthday is upcoming. Puzzles and writing year-round (if inspiration striked and fellow fans are around!)

Have any pets?

2 cats (and often at least another because we are a foster family to our local rescue), 2 rabbits and 4 3 chicken (found one dead yesterday after that major storm / tornado passed. Her ancient 3 year old heart couldn’t handle it. RIP Matante.)

What sports do/have you played?

Phew... there’s a few there too. I’m always down to play pretty much anything with a ball (beach volleyball! street ball hockey!), but on the other hand, will probably get my Canadian citizenship revoked at some point because I do no winter sport except for snowshoeing and some shitty skating.

I played provincial-level softball and badminton in school. I did recreational synchronized swimming, various styles of dance, varsity basketball. Now, I play softball, tennis (although my dad is aggressively trying to draft me into pickleball), try to get in a game of golf or two per summer (every addition to this sentence makes me feel 10 years older). In non-summer, I practice aikido, and love hiking, especially in the fall.

How tall are you?

5′7″, or 170cm

Favorite subject at school?

History and Drama in High School, Anthropology and some of my Forensics classes in University (”no applied science”, you ask? meh, not really. Science was me playing Life on Safe Mode).

Dream Job?

I would’ve loved to study Anthropology further and become an archeologist (although I did take one Biological / Genetic Anthro class that was absolutely fascinating and made me reconsider Things) but I’d had enough Academia back then. I wanted to get a job, stop being beyond broke, and travel.

Nowadays I get this massive urge to dump everything corporate and move someplace with shorter, kinder winters, ideally not too far from the sea, and get a bunch of goats and chicken, fruit trees and grapevines, grow a shitload of tomatoes and eggplant, bake bread daily, and write in the evenings. Just need to win the lottery first but then I’m makin’ it happen.

tagging (apologies for the double tags if you got them, I lost track) @jomiddlemarch, @tortoisesshells, @fericita-s, @combat-librarian, @divinecomedienne, @luarenah

#ask games

[timetoddddavis]

Top 5 secondary Riders ^⁠_⁠^

HM. This is a surprisingly hard question! ...Also this got very abstract very quickly, like about their story or their place in the narrative, but this is why they are my favorites. Ok, so, kinda sorta in 1-5 order, but don't quote me on that:

Birth: Date Akira/Shintaro Gotou

Ok I know this is two guys but, to me, ‘secondary rider’ means you have to look at the suit, and who’s in the suit, and the story that goes into that suit. It’s not my top 5 favorite secondary characters in Rider, it’s secondary RIDERS, right? So we have to get into the whole ‘official categorization’ thing, and the Secondary Rider™ in OOO is Birth. And Birth is these two guys (and Satonaka in a bonus). AND FURTHERMORE you cannot separate these two’s character arcs, they do not work alone, they are linked! Narratively! And it’s a good narrative. It’s about being broken down. It’s about not believing in yourself and being told you’re enough and having to come to believe it. It’s about keeping distance so you can burn it all down but not being allowed to. It’s about letting love in. It’s about realizing you are not right all the time. It’s about growing from self-righteousness and savior complexes and realizing that you just have to do what you can. It is so neatly tied into the themes and arcs of every other character, and THE THEMES OF THE WORK AS A WHOLE.

Zeronos: Sakurai Yuuto

At the end of Episode Red I had to lay on the floor for 15 minutes. My wife put a blanket over me. Yuuto is. Important. Yuuto is about memory, and loss, and having to fill very big shoes. Yuuto is about sacrifice, and that deep pit in your heart that used to be a person you knew, a long time ago. He’s tragic and he’s hopeful and he’s beautiful. He takes the themes of the work and paints them with a harsher brush. And also he is a bratty teen boy who loves his demon bird mom from the future.

Cross-Z: Banjou Ryuuga

It’s about the story. It’s about being a scrappy little featherweight in a world of monsters and what war makes you, and choosing love. Banjou is so full of love, it burns and burns until he’s overflowing. All he wants is to see someone smile. All he wants is to brand the love he feels onto one other person until that person sees himself the way Banjou does. He punches monsters in the face with a roll of quarters* in his fist. *The lingering feelings of someone who loves him. HE PUNCHES MONSTERS. WITH LOVE**. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING. **The dragon fullbottle

Garren: Tachibana Sakuya

Do you know how hard it is to decide who you count as the secondary rider of Blade?? Blade isn’t really… about that??? It’s very weird to say with any strength in my voice that Tachibana deserves the title more than Hajime. But he is the guy on the official merch?? SO. OK. IT’S THIS WET CAT. I already wrote a whole huge rant about this character. I feel like my feelings are known. This man is a TRAGEDY. Like it’s fun to talk about him in terms of wet cat and meow meow and blorbo and guy who did it the worst it’s ever been done. And it’s true! I know we all say that with earnest love and affection. But, seriously, I find him so fascinating. He inarguably makes terrible choices for the whole show, but the choices don’t feel forced, to me. Tachibana makes sense, a horrible, sad, painful sense. Tachibana’s choices come from a place of misguided desire to do The Right Thing, and his idea of what that is differs from everyone else. His Right is organization, and status, and structure. He doesn’t know anything, because he relies on people more powerful than him to know better. He doesn’t see worth in his own choices, he sees himself as an enforcer. Tachibana is a soldier, and it’s killing him, and even then he can’t break out. Even when he knows he’s wrong. Even when he tries over and over and fails every time. He makes one choice for himself, and it’s right at the end, and it’s beautiful, and powerful, and sad, and it’s important, to me, that he makes it. Even if you don’t win, the will to change, the letting yourself finally admit you are wrong… Even if you only do one good thing at the end, it matters that you did the one good thing. Also I have a nuclear-hot take about Tachibana that I’m not going to share here.

Gatack: Kagami Arata

I feel so weird putting Kagami in as a secondary rider. He’s the main character of the show, the guy who has to grow and change, the guy who the Stuff Happens To. But he is, officially, the secondary Rider. I love him. I cheered so hard for him. They don’t give this guy a win every episode but when he gets a win he’s earned it through so much grit and straightforward rage that it’s palpable through the screen. And it FEELS. SO. GOOD. Just great setup and payoff, the pacing in Kabuto can be insane but like, this stuff? The way it makes you wait for Kagami but never leaves you unsatisfied? Kabuto is the good shit. Every show should make you wait for someone to become a rider like this. This goes the same for Gotou, and to a lesser extent Banjou. You have to make it MEAN something. Also he is a normal man beset upon by the weirdest guys in the entire cosmos, he lives in something like a harem anime but most of these guys are not trying to date him, they are just trying his patience. What is not to love about that setup?

#askz #dangerouscommiesubversive #tumblr formatting defies me so ignore any weird spacing #I feel like I just threw up all over the page but hopefully you can see the kernel of actual thought in there

[jos-10-minyard]

13/11/2023

I have so much to say I don't even know how to start this. Maybe discussing about how my mom's being suck a jerk with me this week. She fucking knows about all my mental health shit, and even so she gives me all the indications that she doesen't trust me enough. I already knew she and dad didn't trust me, but receiving the confirmation is tough. Very much tough.

Basically, what happened is: I'm living with my aunt in another state now, to try to take care of my mental health. It's been being really helpful, and she's an angel in my life, I can't express how much I love her and love being here, in my hometown. I'll try to apply to the university in here, so I can stay longer.

But let's go to what really matters now. Thursday, my uncle got his knee operated, and my aunt went to the hospital with him to stay a couple days. At thursday night, my older cousin and his wife came to stay with me and my youngest cousin, so we won't be alone for the night (even though I'm 20 and he's 18). Friday, my aunt told me to call my friends to sleep with us, and so I did.

So here we were: me, Rafa, Ninne and Luiz (my youngest cousin), doing a barbecue and swimming at night (it's really fucking hot here in Brazil this week). And then my dad video calls me. That's weird, my dad never calls me, it's always my mom, but I accepted it.

Dude, the second my mom saw that I was at the pool, her face immeadiatly closed and she asked what I thought I was doing. I explained to her that my aunt was the one to give the idea to call my friends, and she continued to be mad at me. I really don't know why she was mad. Did she think we were having a crazy sex night at the pool? Did she think that I had organized a rave at my aunt's house while she was away? I didn't do any of these stuff. We only had a barbecue and swimmed. Only. Oh, we watched movies too. But that's all. The only boy present in all the situation was my cousin, and that means nothing because I live with him.

Anyway, as we were hanging out the call, my dad says to me to don't do any shit, and I jokily ask "don't you guys trust me?". He answered "no". And hung out. Yeah, that's really fucked up.

See, I don't think I ever did anything to deserve that lack of trust in me. In 20 years of my life, I barely went out of home, I never got home drunk or high, always told my parents where I was going and who were with me, they know all of my friends. Even so, they still don't trust me, and I can't figure out why. I'm 20 years old and they still treat me as if I was 10 and didn't know anything about life and how to take care of myself at all.

Man, they freaked out with me having a night alone, without any "responsible adults" nearby. Imagine when I live by myself? I'm planning to move out next year, if I get into college, and live with my friends and my cats. I think that's capable of giving my mom a heart attack.

Anyway, I'll talk about this with my psychologist later on today. I hope she helps me to not feel anxious every time I talk to my mom. And that I can figure out why the fuck I don't want to come home for summer vacations. Mom wants me to spend january with her, dad and my brother, but, honestly, I feel no will to come back home. It just seem so suffocating! I don't want to go home because that means I'll have the slightly chance to meet my ex without wanting to. And that would be the worst nightmare ever.

Someday I'll tell the story about why he broke up with me. Not today. I have another important things to write about today.

One of those is that I'm under the doubt of having or not Borderline. When I went to the psychiarist, she gave me emotional control pills to take, and I have been taking them since then. She also asked if there was people with bipolarity in my family, and my aunt said that yes, there is, my other aunt and her daughter are also under this doubt. Since this, I couldn't stop thinking and researching about borderline, and it's scary how much I identify with all of the symptoms. All of them.

Also, that would explain a LOT of things in my life. For example, my whole relationship with Mileto, my ex-webgirlfriend. Yes, I webdated when I was 15, you're free to judge me.

Me and her had a relationship that worked based on cycles. There were days where we would be so in love, feeling that nothing would ever end us, imagining a future where we would happily live together with a lot of children and animals in our big house. And, then, the next day we would be fighting so hard that anything would seem to work at all.

Talking to her about it last week, we came to the conclusion that the cycles were there to satisfy both her autism and my possible borderline. By living in a cycle, she would feel safe and confortable, because she would know exactly what's about to happen next, without any scary possibilities that she couln't predict. And I would gladly live in a scenario where I could win and lose interest on her without changing our relationship status.

Yep, that wasn't healthy at all, for neither of us. But we were young and knew little or almost nothing about ourselves, thinking and acting as if we knew everything. That only got us to hurt each other more and more, getting to the point where we broke up definitively, and live happier than ever as friends. She got a girlfriend now, and they're so happy and in love! I'm glad and proud of her, truly. No jealous, just good feelings towards her.

I think that's what love truly is, after all. Being happy about someone, even though you're not the one who got them to feel good.

That leads us to another important point that's been going round and round my head these days: Pablo. He's a boy I met on Tinder when I came to live with my aunt in another state. I downloaded this app because my friends told me so, hoping I would feel a little bit better about my life if I knew new people. They said it would distract my head from thinking about my ex-boyfriend.

Well, it didn't worked 100%, but it actually helped a little.

I started going out with this guy I met there, Pablo, almost two months ago. I think it was 2 weeks after Xande broke up with me. Blame me whatever you want, but I was so desperate to feel a little bit better that I would do actually anything to feel something that wasn't complete sadness and willing to die.

We had sex a couple times, and, in my head, I was certain that it was only this: sex. Hell, how I was wrong.

Maybe I'm feeling things about him, and I'm so fucking scared. The last time I gave all of myself to someone, he threw my heart into the ground and kicked it until it was bleeding. And I'm still recovering from all the wounds he gave me. I had this conversation with Pablo a lot of times, and I honestly think he feels the same, but both of us aren't ready for a serious relationship right now. Specialty me. Seriously, I know that I'll get emotional dependence in anyone that I decide to get romantic with. And I can't do this again. Not now.

I don't think I can survive another heartbreak right now. I still think about Alexandre more than I should, more than it's healthy to think about someone who fucking hurt you until you seriously thought about death, because anything could be possibily worse than what you were feeling at that moment.

That's why I'm so scared. I don't trust anyone with my heart anymore. I can't trust. If I do it, there's a big chance of my heart coming back more injured than it was before, and that I can't handle. I need to recover this first.

Anyway, me and Pablo had the most romantic date I ever had this saturday. We spent the whole day together with my friends and cousin, then I watched him playing football (he's a goalkeeper), and then we went to a hidden spot in the city, where we layed down and watched the stars in the sky, talking about everything. It was so simple, but also so fucking meanable to both of us. It really seemed like I was living inside a romance book or fanfiction.

Alexandre said that life wasn't a book, so I didn't need to be so dramatic at all the times. Well, I think I can romanticize life a little bit now, it wouldn't hurt anyone.

#dear diary #journal #journaling #fuck i wrote a fucking essay about my mental health #yes i suffer from anxiety and depression how did you perceived it?

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Parent Michael Masterlist

I Just Feel Complete When You're By My Side (ao3) - nationalnobody Michael/Luke G, 1k

Summary: Luke never thought that his son would ever ask him how he and Michael met. He really didn't. So when he did ask, needless to say, Luke was caught extremely off guard.

Kittens & Kids (ao3) - nationalnobody Michael/Luke, Calum/Ashton G, 1k

Summary: In which Michael and his son absolutely adore kittens and cats and Luke has to put up with their constant childishness, never mind the fact that he might like felines just as much as they do.

Like We Were Schoolkids (ao3) - punchinginadream Michael/Luke NR, 2k

Summary: It was hard to say what exactly led Michael and Luke to each other. If you asked Luke, he would say it was fate. But if you asked Michael, he’d simply say it was because his son doesn’t know how to tie his shoes.

Nicknames (ao3) - taetrtot Michael/Ashton E, 6k

Summary: “Why don’t you have that many pictures of mom?”

“Because she hated taking pictures. He didn’t.”

Or Michael looks through his deceased wife’s’ things, suddenly finding an old forgotten scrapbook.

Say A Prayer For The Broken Bones (ao3) - lilacpages Michael/Ashton, Michael/Calum T, 16k

Summary: There were absolutely no reminders of the man he once loved in his house at all anymore, except for the locket and and a few pictures. They had been stashed into a box and shoved into the very back of his bedroom closet, never to see the light of day again.

That was why no one was allowed to touch the box.

Because it held the only remaining evidence of Michael’s dead husband.

And because Michael hadn’t been able to acknowledge any of it for the past six years.

Second Go (ao3) - dafeedil Michael/Calum M, 18k

Summary: Michael's still devastatingly beautiful, is the thing that sucks the most. His eyes still glisten when the sunset reflects against them, and the way his porcelain skin looks coupled with the ocean visible through the passenger side window makes Calum want to run his fingers over the boy all over again. Michael's touch isn't something he ever thought he'd want to feel again, but in this moment, Calum can't think of anything he's ever yearned harder for.

Or, Calum goes back to his hometown with the intent to attend a high school reunion, but what he gets instead is a second chance at love.

Tea Time (ao3) - onlypanda Michael/Luke T, 1k

Summary: In which Michael's daughter has a god-like football coach.

We Got A Good Thing (ao3) - dafeedil Michael/Calum G, 4k

Summary: And just like that, Calum gets it.

God, of course. Why else would their daughter have come all the way down to their room at a quarter past ten, looking like she’s been trying to work up the courage to do so for hours?

“Holy shit.” Calum grins, practically vibrating with excitement. “Fuck, Mike, she’s going on a date.”

Or, Bella has her first date. It's a bigger deal for Michael than even Michael was anticipating for it to be.

welcome to the family (ao3) - orphan_account Michael/Luke N/R, 1k

Summary: The one where Luke gives birth to a new family member, and Michael is determined to be the best dad ever.

What I like about you (ao3) - Fallinstar (orphan_account) Michael/Luke E, 1k

Summary: Michael always take cares of others, and sometimes he forgets to take care of himself.

So Luke does it for him.

You Know We Got It Right (ao3) - HecticHemmings Michael/Luke G, 2k

Summary: Michael didn't realize that when he told his daughter that they would find another pretty thing once they got to their gate, that it was going to be a boy.

Or, single dad!Mikey meets aspiring musician!Luke on a plane back to Sydney and they bond over a mutual love for Michael's daughter.

your string of lights is still bright to me (ao3) - merlypops Michael/Calum, Bryana/Ashton, Luke/OMC E, 81k

Summary: 'Michael looked at himself sometimes, when he was putting six year old Lily to bed or giving her four year old sister Georgie a bath with his shirt sleeves rolled up and the faint silvery scars on display, and although he’d never planned for his life to be this way, he thought it could be a lot worse probably, even if it wasn’t what he’d expected back when he was a teenager with dirty hair and death in his heart.'

Michael is struggling to be the father his daughters need. Until he meets Calum again.

#5sosfanfictioncatalogue #5sos fanfic #5sos #michael clifford #parent!michael #parent!michael masterlist #masterlists

[pandavalkyrie]

Since y’all enjoyed the wild ride that was my step mom’s Thanksgiving comments, allow me to share the wonderful family dirt that was unearthed last night at Christmas dinner featuring my dad, step mom, and sister:

1. When I was born my mom wrote my dad a letter, signed by me, explaining to him how to take care of a baby. This was the very first of hundreds of times she would project her identity onto me. It started on day one.

2. Someone wrote a book about what a WWII American hero my grandfather was. The man who beat his wife so hard she had to be taken to the hospital on a stretcher. The man she, my dad, and my uncle fled from resulting in my dad spending months living in a convent. At three years old.

3. The book talks about his first wife and daughter and ends without mentioning the many wives and many kids he had subsequently. My dad is twenty years younger than his oldest half sister. 

4. My mom and aunt took my sister to a Starbucks and ambushed her there with a therapist to stage an ‘Autism Intervention’. My sister had been asking to start therapy for awhile and still does not understand why they chose to do it this way.

5. The moment my step mom unwrapped the gift I got for them (a cute little cat house thing because they have four cats) she instantly gave it back to me and told me to keep it. Me. The person whose only cat died earlier this year.

It was a very fun and normal Christmas

[little-lee-froggie]

So, when I wrote this, I haven’d slept in over 35 hours, and so bring to you a sleep deprived rant on why fruits basket is perfect and I love it. This may contain spoilers, as well as things you might find triggering.‼️ Please read with caution, as I will be taking about abuse a lot in this post‼️

Now with that, it’s time for me to rant about this show

Part one: The phycology

So to start, we have Torou, who comes across as seemingly perfect, almost to perfect. However, this isn’t for just a so-called perfect heroine that’s only problem is that she’s clumsy. Torou takes on the role of the person who takes care of herself and her friends as a response to the trauma of loosing her mom. Helping people, making sure other’s are happy, that is how Torou copes. She does this to be to others what she misses so much, and hopes this will help her be able to burry her sadness away. This isn’t just you cliché cutesy girl main character for a romance anime, she’s so much more then that.

Next, I’ll talk about Yuki’s trauma. He was taught from a young age that he was unlovable, gaslit and manipulated by Akito almost his whole life. He has fear of abandonment because of this and learned how to be this perfectly mannered young man because he’s afraid people will leave him if they know what he’s actually like. Enter Torou, who has this unconditional love for him, no matter what. Throughout the show, he is shown to be getting more comfortable showing his real self because he was shown that he isn’t unlovable. As he learns and grows, he starts to slowly make a start at recovery from Akito’s abuse. With the help of Torou, he feels good about himself, he’s allowing himself to laugh and. It may seem small, but just someone caring and showing love helps a lot In the proses of recovery for Yuki.

Next, Kyo. Kyo had been told from a young age that he was a disgrace to the family because he was the cat spirit, only being accepted by his mother after he sealed away his true form with his bracelet. Even his only friend at the time, Kagura, was afraid of his true form. Even if someone accepted him as the cat, no one had ever accepted his true form. Akito used this as a manipulation tactic to keep Kyo from disobeying. However, his guilt gets worse when his mother commits suicide from the stress of having her child be the cat. Kyo internalizes this, and ends up feeling even worse about himself. Eventually, his master took him in, and Kyo finally felt what it was like to be truly loved by a paternal figure, since his biological father resents him for being the cat spirit and causing the death of his wife. But despite being happy where he his with his master, he refuses to believe that he is worthy of being his master’s son, and gets offended on his masters behalf when referred to as such. Eventually, he goes to live with Shigure, Yuki, and Torou. Torou showed him love as well, unconditional love, and was the only person who not only accepted him no matter what, but also didn’t show any fear, or I guess not let the fear stop her from accepting and being there for Kyo, other then maybe his master. When Kyo’s true form is revealed around the end of season 1, not only does Torou fully accept him, she runs to him despite her fear, despite the fact that she’s afraid of Kyo’s true form. When Kyo sees her after he runs away from the house, he tries to make her not care anymore, afraid that Torou might meet the same fate as Kyo’s mom. Convinced that her caring about him will only hurt Torou. But despite his greatest attempt at making Torou resent him, she stays by his side and helps him turn back from his true form.

Part two: Sweet storyline

So, not only does Torou fully accept Kyo and Yuki for who they are, she actively embraces it, wanting to meet the other members of the zodiac. She shows the same kind of unconditional love to the rest of the zodiacs she meets, becoming a very important part of all of their lives, with my favourite example being Kisa. Kisa was bullied for her appearance, which was the way it was because of her being a member of the zodiac. She stopped speaking, became closed off and protective of herself. But Torou was there, Torou showed her a kind of love and adoration Kisa wasn’t used to, and through that she became very attached to Torou, with every time Kisa goes to visit, we basically only see her not with Torou once after she gets attached to her up to the point I’ve watched to. Torou shows all the members of the zodiac the love they crave, the acceptence they need. Look at Yuki’s relationship with her; Yuki was the first zodiac to become properly acquainted with her, growing to care for her deeply. The only time we see him seem truly happy and himself for most of the show are when he’s with Torou. Yuki is a very closed off person, trying to protect himself and not let anyone get to close, but Torou shows him that he does need to be afraid, that he is able to be loved. It’s a really sweet relationship dynamic, and I love it.

Part 3: Conclusion

This show manages to be so dark, yet so cute and sweet. It goes deep into things like generational trauma, manipulation, abuse, and other dark things, but it still has this happy feel to it, and has genuinely lovely characters with complex emotions and experiences, all of them having stuffed some amount of trauma, and we explore the effects and response of that trauma with them. This show seems like it would be boring or that all the characters would be one-dimensional, but they all have different sides to themselves and really good story building. On the surface, it’s just another romance anime with pretty men and a over clumsy yet cute and domestic girl as the main character, but it’s not. The show isn’t even about romance, really, it’s about how much one person supporting you can help, and how people are so much more then what you see. It’s about unconditional love of all kinds, about giving support to the people you care about. It’s such a well written show, and if this wasn’t enough for you to figure it out, I HIGHLY recommend you watch it if you haven’t already. Even if it doesn’t seem like something you would enjoy on the surface, even if you don’t like anime or romance, you should give it a try because it’s so much more “haha pretty man turn into animal and doesn’t have clothes when he comes back”(which doesn’t happen extremely often), it’s a truly beautiful show, and it goes deep into the phycological effects of abuse, neglect, isolation, loosing parents, generational trauma, and so much more, as well as how to start healing. Seriously, go watch fruits basket, it’s amazing.

#fruits basket #tohru honda #yuki sohma #kyo sohma #kisa sohma #akito sohma #phycology in anime #show recommendations #ranting #go watch the show #watch it

[rosethornewrites]

The reblog about Native spirits reminded me of the times when I learned not to fuck with the paranormal. I’m at least somewhat sensitive, and I’ve learned to close off.

First: When I was 12-13 and at a church youth retreat for my Confirmation class (yeah, grew up Christian), for some reason someone brought out a Ouija board. At one point I was using it with our pastor (I don’t know how this happened), and a spirit told me she was my ancestor, gave her name, and said she was from Sweden. I disregarded this until a couple years ago when I was working on our family tree. My great-great grandfather’s wife shared her name, and was from Sweden. The pastor would have had no way of knowing this back in the early 90s.

Second: Same night, the girls who liked to bully me got me to use it with them. I saw an opportunity to play a prank, and I moved the planchette to tell them they would die getting hit by a car. The next day, they came to me pale and shaking, and asked if I’d moved the planchette. They’d gone to a gas station for snacks down the road and had nearly been hit by a car. I have no idea if it’s anything other than a correlation, but I would never touch a Oujia board ever again.

Third: In high school, a friend of mine who lived near a forest preserve noticed that all the deer came out of the forest reserve at night. You could walk right toward them and they would refuse to go back in. So we did what stupid kids do: we went into the forest. We were about 200 meters in when a weird ball of mist coalesced on the path about 50 meters ahead, then came toward us. We booked it.

Fourth: In college, on break, another friend and I decided we’d go to a place well known as a mob dumping ground because it was rumored to have ghosts. This was my last time fucking with the paranormal, because something followed me home. I was driving straight, and an air freshener I had wedged in the passenger side visor to keep the broken light switch off somehow became unwedged and flew across the car to hit me in the shoulder, hard. Again, as I was driving on a straight road. I was staying with another friend at the time, and her cats went nuts the moment I came home. She wound up reading the Bible aloud to get it to leave.

Fifth: After my dad died, he visited me in dreams, talking about things that had just happened. At one point, before the memorial, I heard his slippers shuffling in the hallway when I was half-asleep. Once he came to my dream all excited, but my alarm went off before he could talk to me. It turned out a player had been traded from my favorite baseball team to his, totally something he’d call to gloat about, so I knew why he’d come to my dream right away.

I learned to be closed off, and one of the last times I opened was when my mom took me to the location where my father passed away, to see if he was there. He wasn’t. He still sometimes visits me in dreams, but it’s pretty rare anymore.

When my grandmother died in 2019 to dementia, my mom and I were racing to the nursing home to be with her when she passed. We parked, and suddenly I had a feeling we were too late. Didn’t tell my mom, and we hurried in. Her phone rang with the news before we reached her room. Afterward, while end of life issues were being dealt with, I sat outside the room with her body, and I let myself open, and she came to me. She was worried about the family, and rightly so since there was a lot of strife over end of life care and one of my family members is still angry and blaming folks that she died. But I told her we would be okay, and Grandpa (he died before I was born) had been waiting an awfully long time to dance with her again, and she should go join him. And I felt her leave. (I actually freaked out one of my family members, too, when one of them was all “I can feel her spirit right above us,” and I said, “Actually, she’s standing next to Aunt J.”)

This is something I don’t talk about a whole lot, mostly because people get weird about it, but it’s my truth. I don’t go looking for spirits, and I certainly don’t do anything stupid that would draw their attention to me or upset them. We may not understand the paranormal, but it’s always good to be respectful of it regardless.

I hate most ghost hunting shows, since they largely stir things up in ways that could be dangerous to folks beyond them.

#spirits #paranormal #respect