#long post under the cut

[gallusrostromegalus]

ok so re: sternritter i gotta ask, whats the plan for my girl gigi? she's a horrible awful gremlin baby but i cannot help but love her immortal tgirl swag.

also, are there any sternritter who got incredibly underused in the story that you've significantly rewritten so far?

As it stands, Gigi gets to live, but she is going to have to sit through a VERY unpleasant lecture about how yes, Gender is Fake, Political Organizations are Fake, and to an extent the 'Line' between living and dead is fake but Bodily Autonomy and Informed Consent are VERY, VERY REAL and you will *fucking* respect them because the Gotei-13 is the home of monsters.

For better or for worse, the person she's getting the lecture from is Tama Nikuya

---

Tama: Sure, you're a Monster too, Miss Gewelle -that's why I like you so much and am even extending you this offer- but I promise there are much worse things serving in the Guard than were dreamt of in your philosophy. Horrors, artificial and natural alike, well within the comprehension of your intellect regardless of gender, but no less awful. Worse, perhaps, because you understand what's going to happen if you put one drop of blood out of line-

Gigi, twitching: Urrgh!

Tama: Don't gurgle at me in that tone! Tama: You do understand, don't you?

(warning for body horror, parasitism, mind/body control, discussions of violence, transphobia and abuse under the cut) (Bleach is a pretty dark series and the Fic is E-rated accordingly)

Gigi, shaking her head as much as she can: Nglk!

Tama: What part don't you understand?

Gigi: Thzzg-? ThhZomg-!?

Tama, head cocked sideways, squinting as she tries to make sense of what Gigi is saying: 'the zog-'? The Zombie? Oh for fucks sake Gigi, we're well past that.

Gigi: Bugh-? Haaauuuu?

Tama: Alright alright, if it will help. The Zombie relies on some of your blood reaching my brain, or replacing a large portion of my own blood with yours, through which you exert your reiki, and thus control my body, right?

Gigi, Blinking Slowly: ... Gigi: Haugh- Haugh gid you vigure thad oud??

Tama, taking a deep, disappointed sigh: Babygirl, it's not that hard. That's very basic Spiritual Dominion magic. Don't get me wrong, you're very good at it and the sheer number of targets you can control is really impressive but as far as techniques go, it's not terribly complex or hard to counter.

Tama, Gestuting at where Gigi is awkwardly kneeling on the floor, paralyzed: Take the thing you've got- that's an enhanced strain of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis- you've heard of Cordyceps, I'm sure- that I've worked with to function inside humans- REAL pain in the ass by the way, Humans are insanely immune to infection and parasitism compared to most organisms-

Akon, holding an extremely large laser gun, not currently cocked but still at the ready: This is your requested reminder to stay on topic, Sir.

Tama: What? Oh, thanks- but Cordyceps is fun because instead of bothering to control the half-assed mess that is a mammal's neural system, it straight-up structurally takes over the large muscle groups! Just suppress the autoimmune response enough by giving the fungus an antihistamine release function too, and that sucker can crawl into every major support structure you have in under a week!

Akon: Yeah, I'm not sure 'Fun' is the right word here.

Tama: Don't knock it until you've tried it!

Akon, debating becoming the server technician for the 9th again: I'll take your word for it, Sir.

Tama, poking Gigi's arm just below where a long spire of the fungus is sprouting out of her shoulder, one of several growing out of her body and impacting her ability to move, including speaking: I'd say you're about 40% Fungus by weight right now, mostly your skeletal muscles, and those do what I say, which is why you're sitting down and listening while I try to change your mind. Tama, giving Gigi an encouraging thumbs up: -And why you still have a mind for me to change! Tama, giving Gigi a comforting pat on the shoulder next to the fungal spire: I have a lot of faith in your ability to make the right choices when presented with all the information, Miss Gewelle. If I thought I had to change your mind for you, I'd have pulled out the Hypomyces lactifluorum!

Gigi, watching Akon visibly shudder behind Tama: ...uhh. Gigi: Bugh. The Zomgee..?

Tama: Oh, right, The Zombie. Yes, yes- Reiki Domination is pretty tough to resist, especially from someone in your spiritual weight class, but, ah- Well, you've run into two big problems here Gigi.

Tama, sitting down on the floor next to Gigi: First problem is the use of blood as an infection mechanism. Tama, cheerfully, as though giving constructive criticism in an introductory art class: Honestly? Not a bad choice! Blood-bourne infections are some of the hardest to resist, and Forigen Reiki is a PAIN to purge from the bloodstream unless you flush the entire system. Most people, as you have seen, are doomed!

Tama, wincing: ...But I'm not most people. Tama, pondering: ... Come to think of it "People" might be a more correct term for what I am, but my situation is pretty radically different from "most" people!

Gigi, still defiant: Whad- Whaddafug ARE yu?

Tama, gesturing to indicate the situation is about as clear as mud, or morphology-based taxonomy: I- Well. It's long and not really all that funny story, but I got stuck on the wrong side of a a version of the Kodoku Bug Thunderdome curse- you know, the inside- for over eight hundred years with a whole mess of Hollows, Obake, and other nasty things and I went to some pretty extreme measures to survive. Tama, with a sad sigh: To make a long story short- I don't have blood anymore. Or a brain. Tama, frowning in contemplation: ...Or I'm ALL brain, it sort of depends on your definition of 'brain'-

Akon: Topic, Sir.

Tama: Thanks Akon! -But from my perspective, your blood is just another snack with a little bit of Reiki spice on top! Which brings me to your other problem.

Tama: You hit hard Gigi! Real hard! And you really should be proud of the degree of concentration you have! But like I said, the Gotei-13 is the home of monsters, and there wasn't exactly a burger joint or an opportunity to farm inside the Kodoku. ...I survived because I kind of literally ate things like you for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[There is a long moment of silence as Gigi processes that statement, it's earlier compainion statement about what Gigi's blood was like for Tama, and the general implication of those on Gigi's circumstances]

Gigi: ...Gid I daste gud?

Tama, ears flicking up to listen better: What's that?

Gigi: Uck! Gigi, wide eyed with terror but somehow this situation has not ended in catastrophe yet, and she might be riding the adrenaline as far as it will go: ...Gid I datse good?

Tama: HAH!

Akon, turning around because he can't face this at 7AM without coffee: NO!!

Tama, teasing: Yes, you do taste very good, or at least the aperitif of blood you threw in the thing I use as a face did!

Gigi, giggling a bit in fear like a Hyena: Oh! Dhad'z Good! Gigi, stopping as the rest of the sentence catches up with her: Waid. Gigi: Whad Do you MEANg, 'ting you uze az a fage'? Gigi, with increasing horror: Whag- Whag ARE You?

Tama, giving Gigi a light, encouraging punch in the shoulder: You're a smart girl Gigi! You can figure it out if you put your mind to it! Tama, counting off the datapoints on her paw-pads: I don't have blood, or a brain, I lived underground with nothing but corpses to eat for a few centuries and my go-to restraint method is a parasitic...

Gigi, a horrible new world of possibilities opening to her like the lid coming off a tub of very expired sour cream: ...Mu-Mushgroom?

Tama, giving her two thumbs up: You got it! Tama: "Mushroom" is probably more specific than you intended, but you're not wrong! The part of me standing here lecturing you is more or less the organ I use for sex and sometimes paperwork!

Akon: Speaking of, the division W-2's still need to go out-

Tama: Akon, we're in the middle of an apocalypse. If the council tries to make everyone pay taxes on time this year, the Old Man won't have the chance to burn the government chambers down before the peasants do it for him. Chillax.

Tama, returning her attention to Gigi: It's probably why I'm so cheerful and down to party too! You know. Because I'm a *Fungi*!

Gigi, staring blankly: ...

Tama, wilting a bit: -A. Fun? Guy? A Fungi?

Gigi, starting to cry big, ugly genuine tears: Uh-uh-uuuuuhhhnnn...

Tama, trying to console Gigi with a hug that definitely makes things worse: ...You're right it'd probably be funnier if you didn't have a parasitic fungus rapidly taking over your person and forcing you to sit still and listen to a genuine freak of science tell you about Cannibalism. Tama, giving Gigi a little shake of encouragement: But you see how this makes my point, right? This isn't very fun for you, is it?

Gigi, suddenly locking up like a badly taxidermied fox: ...

Tama, staring blankly: ..? Tama, ears slowly rising as understanding dawns on her face: Oh?

Gigi, face rapidly alternating vivid shades of pink and white as her emotions battle for dominance, before settling on 'Scaroused': -Uh...

Tama, delighted: OH!

Akon, enraged: OH. MY GOD.

Tama, pointing at him and hissing: You are the LAST person who gets to kinkshame anyone young man! Tama, pointing back at Gigi: At least SHE knows how to have fun!

Akon: I'm gonna transfer to the Ninth and never, ever leave the server room again.

Tama: If you think you can withstand the emotional toil of leaving the mass spectrometer in my hands, be my guest.

Akon: :(

Gigi: Uh?

Tama: He's spiritually bonded to a particularly finicky piece of lab equipment that hates me, like how some tween girls become spiritually bonded to giant murderous equines, which also tend to hate me. Don't worry about it. Tama: Back on topic, this does explain a few things. You DO understand that your feelings about this situation are unusual and given that most humans and their spiritually powerful derivatives experience pain and fear from having their autonomy restricted and bodies invaded by parasites, How do you think being made into a Zombie feels for other people?

Gigi: ...Bahd?

Tama, nodding enthusiastically and making her ears flop in agreement: That's right! Bad! Tama, settling down a bit more to explain things carefully to Gigi: See, the thing is- even monsters like us need to get along with other people. Tama: I know a lot, but nowhere near enough to enjoy the benefits of civilization all on my own- I don't know how to fix a toilet, or fill out grant applications or stand in the same room as the mass spectrometer without breaking it, so it's really, really good I've got people Akon over there, who like me, who can, and more importantly are willing to do those things for me!

Gigi, annoyed: Gyou woulgnd AVV to-

Tama: hang on, hang on-

[Tama pokes a few points on Gigi's face and throat, using Reiki to disconnect some of the Cordyceps parasite, then pulls the spire that was developing under Gigi's tongue out. It's much larger than it looked, and makes Gigi's throat wiggle as she removes it.]

Tama: Oh hell, that shouldn't have been there. How were you even talking around that thing girl?

[Tama tosses the fungal spire aside and offers Gigi a water bottle. Gigi takes a few sips before nodding and Tama puts it away.

Tama: Okay, try again-

Gigi: Ugh- You wouldn't HAVE to get along with tall, drak and grumpy back there if he was a zombie!

Tama, disappointed: ... Tama, taking another deep sigh: ...Okay, let's say I zombify Akon-

[Akon cocks and aims the Laer Gun, which whines ominously as it charges]

Tama: WHICH I AM NOT GOING TO DO FOR REASONS I'M ABOUT TO ELABORATE ON, PUT THAT DOWN-

[Akon turns off and lowers the lazer gun, still glaring.]

Tama: Thank you. Tama: I know you're still getting used to how most people have conversations, but that was a normal way to discuss a theoretical scenario and not me about to turn you into a Zombie. Do you understand?

Akon: ...Ues, Sir.

Tama: He used to work for an Evil Clown, don't worry about it- Alright, Let's say I was a micromanaging-type moron, and I decided to zombify Akon instead of just getting along with him. I'd lose all his expertise immediately. No more functioning mass spectrometer or bathrooms.

Gigi, haughty: Mine do.

Tama: Pardon?

Gigi: My zombies keep. most of their skills and personality. At least the ones I make out of corpses. Gigi: Akon could still fix the mass-thingie and if you zombify the Grant Committee you don't even have to ASK for funding.

Tama, intrigued: ...Do they? That's good to know, I'll want to hear more about that later-but that still supports my point.

Tama: Alright, HYPOTHETICALLY I Zombify Akon, and the Grant Committee- well now, the person who's choosing when the mass spectrometer gets fixed and who gets grant money I don't need is ME, and I already have WAY too much work to do, I don't have initiative to spare for them! I got stuff I want to do! I can't micromanage everyone, everywhere all the time! Tama: It's literally easier, more efficient and frankly, way, WAY less stressful to just get along with people and live in a society than to try to DIY one out of corpses.

Gigi: ...I guess.

Tama: So that's my question Gigi. Tama: Are you capable of respecting people's bodily autonomy and personal space to get along with them?

Gigi, frowning and biting her lip: ...

Akon: That doesn't sound like a 'Yes'.

Gigi: It's not though. It's not less stressful to just get along with people. Gigi: That's- That's WHY I learned how to make zombies in the first place. I'd. I'd TRY to get along, dammit! But any time I let people make choices, they chose to get up my ass about my name, or cut off all my hair, or send me off to 'camp', or beat the shit out of me, or- or lock me in the mausoleum and leave me to starve instead of just call me my name or admit they had a daughter- Gigi: ... Gigi: So it was- Gigi: -It was easier with bodies. Gigi: Bodies don't insist you're a boy or call you a freak or take you to a 'private institution' to 'help you get better' where they strap electric paddles to your head and run a million volts through you- Gigi: Dead people are SO MUCH EASIER to get along with! They don't think you're a creep! They don't think at all! Gigi: I mean, why should I-? Why should I try to get along with people who have already made up their minds that they're never, ever gonna get along with me??

Akon: ... Akon: ...I mean, you are kind of a creep-

Tama: -AKON!

Akon: Hang on I'm not done! You are a bit of a creep, but it's not the girl thing, it's the zombie thing!

Gigi: Oh, just because you're scared of a dead body-!

Akon: GIRLIE I'VE BEEN DISSECTING CORPSES SINCE BEFORE I COULD TALK I AIN'T FUCKIN' SCARED AND I AIN'T DISAGREEING WITH YOU- YEAH. IT IS EASIER TO TALK TO A CORPSE THAN A PERSON. I SPENT PRETTY MUCH ALL MY ADOLESCENCE IN THE 12TH DIVISION'S MORGUE BECAUSE TALKIN' TO LIVE PEOPLE SCARED THE FUCK OUTTA ME!!

Gigi: WIMP! YOU HAVE NO IDEA-

Akon: NO, I THINK I FUCKIN' DO! Akon: YOU KNOW WHERE URAHARA HIRED ME OUT OF? Akon: PRISON. Akon: I GOT THROWN IN PRISON WHEN I STILL HAD ALL MY BABY TEETH, *JUST* BECAUSE I WAS SO CURIOUS ABOUT BODIES. JUST BECAUSE I MADE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE! PRISON-PRISON! THE MAGGOT'S NEST, WHERE THEY KEEP WAR CRIMINALS AND WORSE! Akon: YEAH, TALKIN' TO LIVE PEOPLE SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME, BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO SOMEONE, I LITERALLY GOT SENT TO HELL!

Gigi: -!

Akon: Captain Nikuya is RIGHT, the Gotei-13 is the home of Monsters- and the twelfth has got some of the most freakish and frightening ones of the whole guard! Akon: But I'll take the self-vivisecting, species-transgressing, only-barely-human Monsters any day of the week over the maggot's nest because we're all shamelessly, gloriously monstrous together, and the ONE damn rule of the monster's ball is to ASK before you fuck around with someone's stuff, especially their body. Akon: Not "Don't mess with someone's body", Not "Don't be weird", Not "try to be normal". It's "Be freaks and monsters, but also friends."

Akon: God help me if Nemuri ever finds out, but that's why Mayuri is still in that flask. Most of us have a pretty good idea how to isolate his consciousness again, but they way he- I'd have killed him the week after he took over if I had any idea how.

Akon: That's the rule Gigi. No violating anyone's right to live as they are. Akon: That's the difference between a monster- someone people are scared of just for being how they are- and the kind of FILTH that needs to be scrubbed off the earth. Akon: Do you understand Gigi? Nobody gives a shit if you're a girl on purpose or whatever- Fuck, I can think of a few colleagues who'd put themselves on a list for you to reanimate them when they die no matter how much of them actually comes back. It's overwritin' people's minds and controlling bodies BY FORCE. Akon, putting down the gun and patting his coat for his cigarettes: If I understood you right, that's more or less what people tried to do to you, isn't it? Tell you how to act, who you were, by whatever means necessary?

Gigi: ...fuck you.

Akon: Fuck me yourself, you coward.

Gigi: ... Gigi: So what am I supposed to do when someone gets up in my face again? Smile and play nice? Roll over so they can kick my guts out?

Tama: Oh, no- If they violate the "Don't mess with other people's autonomy" rule, all bets are off! That's why when you tried to murder me and Akon a few minutes ago, I was right to infect you with a parasitic fungus to protect myself and stop you! Tama: In fact, the sooner and harder you react to that shit, the less people will try to cross that line, so if anyone tries to fuck with you, you absolutely can and should make an example of them!

Akon, holding up his cigarette to ask if it's alright, and wating for Tama's nod: -If anyone tried that shit with me I'd absolutely turn them into a living educational exhibit on why people need to have skin, but genuinely? Nobody in soul society gives a shit what's in your pants unless they're your doc or fuckin' you.

Gigi, rolling her eyes: Sure, sure-

Tama, laughing: No! Really! It was a surprise for me too.

Gigi: You're lying to me.

Tama, shrugging: Okay, don't believe me, believe your eyes- Tama, ticking people off on her paw-pads: You saw the peacock earlier, he's a seated officer and Baldy is his Husband. Tama: Their boss is the most rampantly bisexual slut I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and the primary load-bearing member of the captainacy polycule-

Akon, starting to giggle: -Yeah I bet he can bear a lot of loads-

Tama, casually plucking off another fungal spire to half-heartedly throw at him: Oh, and the guy who had this job before me IS pregnant with his second child!

Gigi, incredulous: ...The guy with the stupid hat that looks like off-brand Shaggy from Scooby-Doo? That looks more a beer belly.

[Akon: Loud, Snorting Laughter]

Tama: Okay, you're right, it looks more like a beer gut than a baby right now, but PLEASE don't tell him that- He's in the weepy mood swings phase right now, and won't get his sense of humor back until the third trimester. Tama: We' re all placing bets on when Baby Kegger is gonna be born if you want in on the action.

Gigi, Biting her lip and grimacing: I- I don't-

Tama, taking Gigi's hand: -You know firsthand how weird my body is. I'm not properly male or female- I've got at least 21,837 sexes within me because of the insane way I have to metabolically regulate my body. Tama, shrugging: I'm just female in conversation because language hasn't evolved the 12th-dimensional pronouns I'd need yet. But when I brought this up at a meeting, the only question I got from the old man was if my uniform would need altering. Tama: I mean. It did, but that's because I'm 4'6" and i get all my clothes in the children's section, but I'm still amused that that was the captain-general's polite way of asking if I'd need any accomodations.

Gigi: ...Promise it'll be okay?

Tama: I don't know how the war is going to turn out, but if you help us and stop making zombies, I promise I'll do everything I can to make it okay.

[Gigi manages a weak smile]

Akon, wheezing, and doing a terrible Scooby-Doo impresson: Ruh-roh! Rhe Rexperiments Breached Containment, And Raggy's rust Whadder broke!

[Gigi, snorting and giggling in spite of everything}

Tama: See? Now you're laughing. When was the last time a Zombie made you laugh?

Gigi, sniffling a bit as she giggles: ...never.

Tama: So, are you ready to give an alliance a shot?

Gigi: I- I guess?

Tama: You guess? I can't go to the captain-general with a mere hypothesis.

Gigi: ...Yes. Yes, I'm ready.

Tama, grinning: So you're going to be a good girl and keep your bodily fluids to yourself unless asked?

Gigi, turning bright pink: Y-yes!

Tama: Yes, what?

Gigi, going even redder: Yes, sir!

Tama, patting her head and releasing the hold on the Cordyceps, at least for now: ...Very good girl.

Akon, rolling his eyes: Uuuugh....

Tama, helping Gigi up: Hey! You know damn well that positive re-enforcement-

Akon, hefting his Lazer-Gun back onto his shoulder: -is an important part of interpersonal communication, reward the behavior you want to see yeah, yeah-

[Akon is about to turn to leave when a thought occurs to him and he stops and glares at Gigi]

Akon: ...You DO hit like a fuckin' truck.

Gigi, blushing and twirling her hair: Well, I mean-

Akon, pointing accusingly at Tama: I KNEW IT! YOU'RE NOT RECRUITING HER FOR THE WAR, YOU'RE RECRUITING HER FOR THE SHINIGAMI WOMEN'S ASSOCIATION INTRAMURAL CRICKET TEAM!!

Gigi: -the what?

Tama: And what if I am? It doesn't matter to you- The Shinigami Men's Association couldn't keep their wickets up if their lives depended on it!

Akon: -Call me when Matsumoto-taicho can bat out of the pitch!

Tama: Yeah, the fact that Rangiku and Hiyori both suck at it and you STILL lost by 203 points to us is not actually helping your case here.

Gigi: Is. Is cricket a sport?

Akon: SPORT? Cricket is an entire EVENT! It's a Way of Life! It's the philosphical ideal of-

Tama: Yes. Tama: It's a very silly sport, and his team sucks at it.

Gigi: Ooh! If we all live through this, I can be a cheerleader!

Tama, causing problems on purpose: Yeah!

Akon, sputtering with fury: I- That's- CRICKET DOESN'T HAVE CHEERLEADERS!!

Gigi, pouting with her index fingers pressed together, rocking her hips: -But I wanted to cheer for YOU Mr. Akon!

Akon, freezing like a deer in front of an oncoming 18-wheeler: -! Akon, turning ever-so-slightly-pinkish about the ears: ...I'll think about it.

Gigi, grabbing onto Akon's arm: Yay! Gigi, hanging off Akon and babbling: What are the team colors? Do you think like Majorette uniforms are cuter or something more like a miniskirt and halter-top?

Tama, letting them get a bit ahead of her as she dials the main camp: Anyone on the horn? It's Nikuya.

Nanao, on the other end of the communicator: Status report?

Tama: Good news! I've eliminated an enemy, found us an ally AND a new batter for the team if we all live to see spring training.

#AEIWAM #an elephant is warm and mushy #bleach #bleach fanfic #giselle gewelle #Tama Nikuya #Bleach Akon #Help I ship Gigi and Akon now #mind the warnings #long post under the cut

[nitunio]

IDOLiSH7 Hunger Games Simulator

I used to play this thing all the time with other characters and fandoms. Now it's time for them to go through it!

Im using this website, you can press "Load Season" and paste the code XKs4qINi to load the main cast, then press "Edit Cast", scroll to the bottom, press "Submit" and you can proceed afterwards!! (the edit cast part is for it to refresh the whole thing, otherwise you will be playing my simulation ^__^"")

Now for the main attraction! I did one run of it and oh. . Experience under the cut! (VERY LONG POST)

Beginning!

Most people run away from the cornucopia, with the exception of them:

WHERE DO I BEGIN. Mitsuki's furious rage (contained in such a short body) made Tamaki give up. At least Sougo scored a mace for them (violently). Ryou loses also.

Minami fights Anesagi for a bag too, and Riku and Touma fight as well. Minami and Touma get their bags.

Weapons obtained: Nagi - sword, Torao - pair of sais, Okarin - handful of throwing knives (oh!), Momo - bow and arrows

Manager uses violence! Basket of bread obtained.

DAY 1

Not even the break of dawn, Momo already is set out for ZOOL. His archery skills are... admirable. Sorry Touma, your fight for the bag didn't save you

On this episode of Torao Needs A Therapist - WHAT. And on another note - Riku would probably be the worst person to go to with that request, I'm glad he went to him

Mitsuki also has a very... depressing thing going on, in spite of fighting so vigorously with Tamaki over a bag. And Yuki would never hurt his kouhai (with an, cough, exception).

Some of the other contestants sadly weren't lucky enough.

Nagi and Banri are killed gruesomely (an explosion and whatever torture Ryou did to Nagi). It's unclear if Gaku had an intention for murder, but we'll see later.. as for Ryou, he should find a better way to vent his anger after failing his fight for supplies.

In other news!

Sponsor items - Iori receives medical supplies, Okarin receives clean water

Takanashi Papa goes hunting.

Haruka picks flowers.

Minami and Yaotome Papa search for firewood. (separately)

Takanashi Papa goes hunting.

Anesagi discovers a river.

Deaths - Touma, Banri, Nagi

NIGHT 1

Starting the night off with something light - they're all decently equipped, and Momo is dealing with some stuff after killing Touma, but as always, not showing it. Mitsuki probably needed this mood lift too, since he didn't do too well before.

Tenn sees their fire but decides to stay hidden, trying to calculate his next move.

And continuing the trend of going to the worst people possible to be making this request to - we now know that what Gaku did was most likely an accident, and Banri just got caught up in it. Sorry, Gaku, you're gonna have to live with it.

In the distance, Takanashi Papa is trying to gather resources...

OLD MAN, DON'T CLIMB TREES, YOUR LIMBS MAY NOT BE SUITED FOR IT ANYMORE. Otoharu Takanashi joins Banri in heaven.

Other contestants find themselves alone...

Utsugi questions his sanity. Tsumugi questions her sanity too.

Anesagi cries herself to sleep.

Yaotome Papa attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.

Ryou goes to sleep. (as one should after murdering a guy, you sick sick man)

But wait.. AN AMBUSH?!

Iori, Tamaki and Minami are no longer alive, because their attempt at ambushing was gravely unsuccessful. For all the planning Iori and Minami could do, there is no stopping Tamaki from acting rash..

And as a cherry on top, Torao finds new powers within himself after Riku's kind words this day and decides to-

Fatally injure Yamato! What an end to this night.

Maybe a nap would help...

Deaths - Takanashi Papa, Iori, Minami, Tamaki, Yamato

DAY 2

As the Sun's rays creep up on the grounds, people wake up and start their day with-

More bloodshed! Torao, I think you're getting WAY too into this, perhaps it might not be the best time to "give it your all"?

Other contestants seem to be doing better, possibly to balance out Torao's kill count.

As the remaining center of ZOOL, Haruka is doing his best to cover for the teammate in the "mercy" department. Thank you for sparing Sougo.

And Tenn is doing his usual thing.

In other, minor news:

Momo discovers a river.

Okarin diverts Tsumugi's attention and runs away. (Tsumugi CAN be scary, believe me)

Utsugi thinks about home.

Ryou fishes. Yuki constructs a shack. (treating it like a farming sim, I see)

Yaotome Papa travels to higher ground. (as he always does in his life)

Deaths - Ryuu, Mitsuki

Districts 2 and 9 are wiped out! Torao has the highest kill count (3) (I don't count Riku, Ryuu and Yuki in that because they were a team in killing the ambushers, and there's no way of telling who contributed the most)

NIGHT 2

Okarin and Sougo really love their campfire stories. And now that Tenn has calculated his moves from the past night, he can safely be in their company, now with his brother too.

Utsugi receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Momo thinks about home. Yuki looks at the night sky. (sighss)

Haruka passes out from exhaustion.

Yaotome Papa and Torao both see the campfire, but stay hidden for the night.

A peaceful night indeed.. Wait!

An unlikely (by threat or withholding resources) alliance of Anesagi and Ryou is going after Tsumugi and Gaku! The Manager-Idol duo survive through their sheer power (Tsumugi) and the urge to protect (Gaku).

Deaths - Anesagi, Ryou

DAY 3

Usual day, as usual it can be.

Haruka fishes.

Sougo tries to sleep through the entire day. (uncharacteristically so, perhaps from exerting himself too much)

Tsumugi runs away from Momo. (knowing his archery skills, it could have been a worse outcome. glad Momo's not out for blood)

Yuki attacks Gaku, but he manages to escape. (Gaku, what did you say to him?)

Yaotome Papa steals from Tenn while he isn't looking. (TRIGGER's property is his property too, right?)

But there's more!

Riku plays with some dangerous toys and finishes Torao's kill streak by exploding him, with Utsugi getting caught in the explosion too (That's the second manager who barely did anything and exploded. Stop exploding your local managers)

And maybe give your managers medicine next time too? Okarin received clean water earlier, but it clearly wasn't enough to stop the deathly infection.

Deaths - Torao, Utsugi, Okarin

District 8 and 11 got wiped out! 2 members of i7, 2 members of TRG, the entirety of Re:V and 1 member of ZOOL are alive. Tsumugi and Yaotome Papa are still alive too.

NIGHT 3

Surprisingly devoid of spilled blood, the night is spent peacefully

Haruka thinks about home.

Momo and Tenn run into each other and decide to truce for the night. (best interest in mind, and looking after a kouhai too! great!)

Yuki, Yaotome Papa, Riku, and Gaku sleep in shifts. (unexpected to see Gaku team up with his old man, but things happen! Riku and Yuki decide to continue their alliance from before)

Sougo receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. (so that no people can die from infection injuries ever again.)

Tsumugi questions her sanity. (i would too)

DAY 4

The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

Yuki and Gaku get into a fight over raw meat, but Yuki gives up and runs away. (he needs it for his makeshift soba, Yuki!)

Haruka decides not to go to The Feast. And as we see, it was one of the better decisions.

Yaotome Papa decides to end all sorts of rumors and blow up Riku. Unfortunately, Tenn's "twin sixth sense" couldn't make him get there in time to lead Riku away, but at least they're together now. Two kills on Yaotome Papa (and, like son like father, both he and Gaku are responsible for most explosion deaths. brilliant. please don't continue!) (also fun that Riku was playing with explosives earlier and now died. because of them)

The Feast also brings us a fight!

Sougo has had a mace since the beginning, and now he decided to use it well! And well, he used it. Momo's bow/arrows and Tsumugi's raw strength just couldn't compare.

Deaths - Riku, Tenn, Tsumugi, Momo

DAY 4 (CONT.)

Yuki camouflauges himself in the bushes. (already looks the part)

Yaotome Papa constructs a shack. (what else to do after setting off an explosive)

Sougo tends to Haruka's wounds. (very cute moment after a double-murder, but now these medicals supplies are getting some use!)

Gaku practices his archery. (did you not hear what they did to another archer moments ago?)

NIGHT 4

Yaotome Papa and Yuki tell stories about themselves to each other.

Gaku receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor. (GREAT.)

Sougo tends to his wounds. (efficient and great! probably one of the better doing contestants)

Here's an example of a contestant who's not doing well.

He'll sleep it off, I'm sure.

DAY 5

Yaotome Papa starts the day off by making a wooden spear. Let's see how others are do-

BETRAYAL! After all the injuries have been healed, and Haruka's mind cleared off from screaming, he went straight for it! What a twist!!!!!! WHAT A MOVE!!!

And Sougo might not be the only one with the bad luck today.

Gaku gets betrayed by the ice and his own body, and drowns in the lake. Sadly the received hatchet will never be used.

Let's see how Yuki's doing.

Oh. Alright.

And now it all comes down to these three.

NIGHT 5

Haruka and Yaotome Papa talk about the tributes still alive. (not a lot of them, and you make 67% of the population now. this is just Yuki gossip)

Yuki accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it. WHAT.

Deaths - Yuki

DAY 6

Yaotome Papa accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it.

Hey. I think the land mines might be faulty. What the fuck!

And the winner is - Isumi Haruka, the lucky man who did not want to arm the landmines! His journey was tough, but in the end it all came down to not touching explosives.

Congratulations!

#nitunio.txt #nitu i7 ramble #idolish7 #ainana #hunger games simulator #long post under the cut

[number1villainstan]

Adolescence of Utena: First Time Watcher Reactions

Finding the movie and figuring out a way to get the file to play was an Educational Experience, to be sure, but I have it now! I've already watched through the series (reactions in this thread) so that should be helpful in understanding the movie. Real-time reactions below the cut:

how many times have i seen those bells now? things kept Not Working

the cock tower got ripped off at the base. lmao get rekt akio

wait is that utena and dios as shadows? with utena kneeling before kid-looking dios too

yo this intro music is fire

all the little stamp-sized pictures look like they're exploding/going up in flames. memories maybe? getting sacrificed? my first thought is nemuro hall from the series

wait wait this one picture. taller than the others, the biggest of them all even if it's not as wide. castle in the background. a small-looking boat, i can see the planks, getting tossed on huge waves in the stormy night. and right in the middle, the shadow of utena (i think) in the doorway--ready to jump out? god the boat seems like a noah's ark reference but idk if the creators would like. already know the noah's ark story? given cultural differences and all. and it's the only picture that moves (sliding backwards) AND the only picture that doesn't go up in flames. oh god. oh my god. is utena okay???

those blackboards are funky

WAKABA! she already knows utena's name but this is the first time they're meeting??

oh this is a dub. hm. well it's better than no movie at all lmao. and it doesn't seem like a bad dub either don't look a gift horse in the mouth after all

this entire school is on some escher shit. escher if he lived to make animations instead of still images

E-ko and F-ko, huh? no D-ko? (or is it linked to superstitions about 4 being unlucky in Japan cuz it can be pronounced like "death") that is assuming, of course, that the corresponding Shadow Girls from the series are A-ko, B-ko, and C-ko

lmao at that broadcast though

"it's the prince!" and the fighters are orange and blue. is juri the prince? miki?

nvm the dub is not actually that good

oh JURI'S the prince here! instead of wakaba! and she seems to be pretty close with miki--does that mean she has a better relationship with shiori here? (or at least a better relationship with her memories of shiori?)

oh damn touga showed up--black and gold uniform, a lot like utena's uniform in the show actually, but without the red on her uniform cuz his hair's already red--

damn there even looks like there's blood on the base of the cock tower where it got ripped off lmao

touga showing up as a ghost, with a dark red rose on his lapel--and the dark red roses piled up in the middle of that inaccessible(?) courtyard, like a grave

"our promise in the planetarium" akio's planetarium??? from the series??? i don't remember them ever meeting there, unless the dueling arena counts--

idk what they're supposed to be saying there. "we have yet to go" ???

that picture again--that's not utena in the doorway though

so touga's the one with the ring this time, instead of utena. "you must be engaged to someone" "this ring led me to this academy" calling back the "perhaps the ring was an engagement ring" part of the storybook intro and utena's "i came to this academy to find my prince" thing from the series

the rain stops and touga is gone. and that single white rose wasn't opened yet, was still just a bud until Utena came along, one white rose among a thousand red ones (and all the red rose petals falling), and that rose gives her the ring like dios did--standing out from the crowd of course, but is it utena or dios? or perhaps simply the ideal of a prince?

"what is that?" utena says about the floating duel arena, which is high up, unlike all of the other floating islands and parts of Ohtori

oh the stairs! unconnected to anything solid aside from their end points, like the spiral stairs in the series, but it's straight up unlike the spiral staircase, and there's no elevator that i see. like it's lost its central support

practically a carpet of red roses. so that's where the petals were falling from? that's gotta hurt to walk through though, so many thorns. plus like--flowers in general don't grow that densely? they're nutrient and energy intensive, just like fruit, cuz they're reproductive organs. Something Fishy Is Going On

anthy is holding a pink rose. pink for utena this time for sure

"i'm the headmaster's sister, so i get special treatment." idk if i can trust the dub's voice acting (doesn't sound like it) but she does not sound happy about that 'special treatment'

"I'm the only one captive to the roses" a) are you sure you're the only one? b) is captive to the roses referring to Rose Bride bullshit or just being trapped in Ohtori in general

damn saionji sounds super rough in the dub. which makes sense ofc it's saionji lol

and there's anthy's mask again. shows up around saionji, but she dropped it for utena

is saionji eating anthy's hair >.>

the sounds of machines that come as utena puts on the ring. of course. of course. the machinery of ohtori is starting up once again to claim another cog

oh wait huh. saionji's wearing the same outfit as touga, so it's not special to him after all

"this is your chance to take it off" it's like the "good luck" in the first duel in the series, but instead anthy's actively warning utena away from the duels--because utena is new, instead of a recurring student? because anthy remembers utena from before and feels guilty from trapping utena in the game? because anthy herself has gained a taste of independence and desperately wants to reclaim it? it's fascinating how anthy is acting as her own person, actively utilizing her agency in a very visible way despite being in the role of Rose Bride, as opposed to the series where she very much sticks to being passive at first (at least when the camera is on her)

the bells again, but they start the duel instead of mark its ending like in the series

aaaand there's the slap. specifically after anthy actively attempts to interfere with the duel, rather than saionji just slapping her for wishing good luck to utena. i honestly really like this new anthy

"my possession?" oh so it's said even more out loud here than in the series

saionji looks downright insane here

the series is transmasc utena the movie is transfem utena and they're both butches

"I'll never lose to anyone who hits a girl!" still that prince mindset. still that association of femininity with weakness and masculinity with abuse. in this specific case it holds true, but in the general--what about people who hit boys?

saionji looked normal for half a second there

anthy is actively taking charge of her own destiny here, kissing utena to give her the sword of (dios? anthy? just A Sword?)

and it's with the sword that utena finally wins (and gets hair extensions). in the series utena won even with a broken practice sword

oh my god they LITERALLY put saionji on the other side of a dividing line. goddamn

underwater moment? we sunk down to the new dorm? so utena isn't living with anthy this time around. it's just normal unpacking stuff

utena and touga were childhood friends...

okay so utena wants here there. which maybe anthy anticipated cuz she really just walked right in lmao

"i'm not gonna let you go home tonight" that was unexpectedly sinister

damn, anthy really just went "hey order me to fuck you utena :)"

shiori and touga are conspiring...don't like that

touga was under a white sheet. don't they usually put white sheets on the dead?

"the prince was killed" juri? touga? ruka? THE BOY FROM JURI'S STORY. which she said happened to her older sister--

"i'll make her be the prince for the rest of her life" ...damn, shiori, tf are you doing to juri

the shattered frame with the picture of utena

wait was that a show that just floated by? a lot of underwater motifs here with scene transitions

wakaba trying to swordfight lmao

utena don't leave the water on even if you're talking to your childhood friend

ah, swimmers. I see, oh it's in the pool. an empty pool. and anthy's flirting with touga. ah yes, the hypersexuality, i remember reading a meta about this

different frames in the pictures--pink roses, then candy, and baby anthy's wearing utena's yellow dress from the storybook scene--and dios being exhausted, but they're in a castle, not a barn like in the series--and the guy talking on the phone to touga, that has to be akio/dios, cuz his story is being told in the painting

oh, witch, not wish--and dios was the the lord of the flies first, akio (evil) first rather than starting as dios (good) (for all that evil and good don't really mean anything in this world)

kozue and miki are. really different in this cycle. i think kozue's hair color is different, and so is miki's hair? miki looks older, more wild, much less like the "girl-shaped boy" from the show. and the dialogue suggests that he's let go of his need for the Sunlit Garden, like how he was introduced fencing with Juri rather than playing piano

also i forgot to say this way earlier but like man, anthy and utena both look way different. i think it's their face shapes being different. rounder cheeks and points for chins. maybe it's cuz they both left last time?

"i was sold to [my father] when i was young" OH YES THE PROMISED TOUGA BACKSTORY I'VE HEARD ABOUT THIS

"the customer" too, like jesus fuck touga are you saying you were prostituted around to pedos??? the touga-anthy parallels are painful

and shiori calling juri disgusting :/ for what, having a gay crush? being a lesbian? liking shiori? the pendant? just a rumor?

the bugs on the cabbage. shiori being a bug? and growing wings from the white cloth (death cloth?) of the room--oh no, moths. white moths. with black spots. (the defilement of purity? the ugly evil on a canvas of nothing?) landing on touga. somehow i feel like even if they had sex that touga wasn't properly into it. that it was just a bargaining chip.

juri and miki's outfits are red and blue, not black like touga and saionji's--

the mirage of dios--and just half an hour in we get the Revolution foreshadowing

the name kozue behind miki as juri's asking about his motivations. and the (blue? purple?) bath duck and water splashes in the red light. this feels like machinery.

"my wish is always to obtain more power" miki doesn't just have ruka's hair, he's acting like ruka. i don't like this

"that's so male" and yet again the gender roles

miki says he wants to simply gain more power. juri says she wants to gain power to free herself from Everything. and then--"unromantic things" are they dating?? is this just something weird about the dub or was it intentional on Be-Papas' part???

they are not, in fact, alone

oh fuck

(and shiori's flirting with juri--shiori's manipulating both touga AND juri. but miki seems to see right through it)

"those things" you mean sex? like cmon utena sex isn't something shameful

"touga started to act strange because of you" and then we cut to the moths over the lamp. oh no. it was shiori made touga "act strange"

"i thought he would only be beside only me" possessive much?

stars--"there is no prince"--callbacks to the show again

she cut the water line! not utena's neck thank god

utena mentions the stars so anthy gives her the stars oh my god

the long haired utena with the red trim that short-hair utena doesn't have, and anthy's reflection has the rose bride dress--which is white instead of red like the series--is the long-haired utena supposed to represent her "true self?" transfem utena fr

wakaba also looks a bit different, so maybe it's just all the girls ("girls") who look different, cuz the boys don't look very different

"capture your partner's essence" what? oh this is art class

anthy always above utena during the walking scene

"i want to be your friend": the "i don't like this engaged business" part in the series came early, during the student council arc--the "if you have any problems come to me, okay" part came much later, during the akio arc. the movie be speedrunning their relationship. but anthy's not cooperating, cuz she interrupted utena to ask to switch

"let's keep no secrets" used to get utena naked. damn. a bit of anthy's manipulativeness coming in

THAT PAINTING AGAIN

is that the sound of a car? and the paintings from the intro--

no that's an airplane taking off

oh god, there's a hole in her chest. the swords of hate?

the shadow girl broadcast! and a 'scandalascious tape'

the nanami cow! and chu-chu, and the triplets as elephants too lmao

i'm surprised they didn't use actual cow sounds. it's just a dub of someone saying "moo" over and over again :/

chu-chu got ate?

wrong tape lmao

Akio! "I lost the key to my car. Oh well!" lmao. and is that girl with him, is that nanami? looks like her. but it's probably meant to be kanae instead. and all the obvious performativeness, even as E-ko and F-ko call him a "textbook example of a prince", yeah that fits him

oh, did he just use the police as an escort? i thought he was getting arrested for half a second (sadly no)

the skip with the "starts, starts, starts...starts here!" huh.

and now the record is skipping--and then the tape skipping--

and now juri and utena are dueling. utena of course pulls a sword from anthy, and shiori gives juri a sword--i'm reminded of the akio and apocalypse arc duels, but the motivation is similar to juri's stuco arc duel

miki standing with touga... except he can't see him. i also think maybe ruka got folded into miki's character

"eternity, miracles, everything that glows" eternity, the power of miracles, and the shining thing. of course.

oh so utena actually properly wins against juri in the movie, by calling on the power of dios subconsciously. naturally.

and then the revelation that Akio is dead? and kanae crying over here. anthy doesn't seem to like her very much this cycle either

oh my god, anthy killed akio? or at least buried his body--no wonder she's so much more active this time around mwahahaha

oh now akio's car key is much more important

oh. no. akio killed anthy. damn. in a drunken stupor it seems. cuz he was taking advantage of her when he thought she was asleep? yay, more sexual trauma /sarcasm

chair with a sign on it, turn for the elevator--black rose arc callback?

OH SHIT IT REALLY IS THE BLACK ROSE ARC! evil elevator time??? but different cuz no mikage i bet

ahhhh this makes shiori's "i'll make her be the prince forever" make so much more sense

the boat from the picture!

dividing line between touga and utena

"the end of the world" name drop!

ah, touga was the one who drowned. their relationship is way different this cycle

the lighting used to be yellow in the elevator, now it's pink instead. and huh, the elevator wasn't evil this time around

"you really were my prince" Your Honor I Would Like To Object

and now utena's the prince--as long as she stays in this world. is this anthy's world then? but utena still wants to go to the outside world

ZETTAI UNMEI MOKUSHIROKU!

utena's getting turned into a car let's gooooooooo

these scenes are where all the implied machinery comes to light fr isn't it

utena nearly went to rust before anthy took up her offer

the road from the show! is it staying stop i can't read japanese

the shadow girls now all have pink hair lol

oh my god it's shiori! that's not black, that's purple though, and the insides are pink with frilly lace on the edges, hm

"the only one who deserves to escape is me" and then she takes herself out

oh no, more cars. actually black this time, sounding like bots--creepy bots? compared to bugs--and a swarm--but the radio girls implied that they've seen them before--

is that shiori again? nope

she got help! from the student council of all people! but how did they know what they were trying to do, and what made them decide to help them--this movie requires so much prior knowledge of the series to make any sense. like when did they become friends this cycle even? when utena defeated saionji and miki??

"high goals attract good people" okay but do they? we only have the one instance, and we have a counterexample in touga and shiori don't we?

"i will be there to seduce you" saionji you're like the worst seducer on the planet lmaoooooo

i don't think the magical looking castle is the landmark for the exit somehow

i was right

rondo revolution! and car makeover!

anthy's got some serious dodging skills to get through those tires

oh no, not the treads--and there's dios/akio.

damn does utena feel pain as a car? cuz she must be hurting right now

"a living corpse" huh? a closed world where death and life are conflated--

ohhhhh being a living corpse is how you be a princess....does that mean dios was a princess? lmao

end of the world and "grant me the power to revolutionize the world" name drops

oh my god all the radio girls are literal strawmen. strawwomen? strawpeople? no wonder their faces/skin were blacked out

oh, those are the ruins of the black cars--and the castle too, probably

"a world without roads" huh?

wakaba is still trapped in ohtori :( with what looks like onion prince dude lol

"the world will get bigger by that much" ah, so that's what "end of the world" means here--it's not a literal world, it's their experience that's the world. living at the edge of their experience

and that's the end of the movie! Overall Impressions: I'm...honestly not impressed by it. I do like the touga backstory, cuz we didn't get that in the series, but it felt like it took on too much and ended up cutting vital things cuz nothing fit. Maybe my experience was colored by the lackluster dub voice acting, but it seriously felt like the characterization was lacking, and not just because of the dub--there were important scenes missing that give context to character changes. Most specifically I'm thinking of the heel-face turn of the Student Council. Why did they do that? Why did they help them? Utena and Anthy's desires to go to the outside world also aren't properly explored. That's probably the biggest flaw with this movie, is the way important character arcs aren't fluid--they have big jumps that don't feel right, that only make sense if you have the show's context, and even then don't make sense within the world of the show. We leave a character at point A, and then when they reappear somehow they've jumped to point 27 and the viewer only has any idea how they got there if they've watched the show. That and whatever happened to Miki's character, and the fact that Wakaba only shows up as exposition (and I think the Student Council's car? that wasn't clear though). Absolutely criminal what they did to Wakaba. My girl deserves better than that.

I did like Touga's backstory, though. Makes a lot of sense for his character (even when that calls a lot of Nanami's character into question, like did she suffer the same fate??). And also Saionji's willingness to Throw Down with Utena immediately. If he were anywhere except Ohtori he'd be a delinquent with like 18 fights on his record lmao

#rgu #adolescence of utena #liveblogging #long post under the cut #tenjou utena #utena tenjou #saionji kyouichi #kyouichi saionji #himemiya anthy #anthy himemiya #wakaba shinohara #shinohara wakaba #revolutionary girl utena #arisugawa juri #juri arisugawa #takatsuki shiori #shiori takatsuki #kaoru miki #miki kaoru #kiryuu touga #touga kiryuu

[lumberwoof]

the final duel between Guel and Suletta and why I really love it actually

it's a final test of Suletta's resolve - it's "you understand what the game is now, are you still willing to throw yourself back into it?" and "this is your last chance to free yourself of all of this, you can turn back now"

it represents a true crossing of the Rubicon - Suletta isn't an oblivious player in someone else's game anymore, she's fully aware of what's happening in the world around her, and she's choosing to participate

it's also Guel selfishly still trying to shield Suletta

I think it's important to remember that Guel and Miorine both consider Suletta as their precious person. it's why they came up with the plan they did, why they entered their sham of an engagement to protect Suletta. so Guel is making a last ditch attempt to protect Suletta (by forcing her to give up on Miorine if she loses the duel, the way they forced her to give up Aerial), but Suletta is single-mindedly determined and defeats him easily

(Guel is someone who always rushes forward, who was inspired by Suletta's "move forward, gain two" adage, and in this duel, just like the others, he surges forward and his haste to move forward, to press, is what causes him to lose (but he doesn't run away, he moves forward even if he gains nothing, which is the true lesson here))

"What a fool I am" he says, for thinking that he could stop Suletta, for that tiny bit of pride that still seeped through and told him that, in a fair fight, he might actually stand a chance (the double meaning of standing a chance, too, not just as a victor of the duel, but in romance as well)

and the symbolism of Suletta at Miorine's door in her Holder uniform. it doesn't matter anymore, Miorine's birthday has already come to pass, the game is technically over, but that's the point, isn't it? the game is over and Suletta still chooses to be Miorine's groom.

without words Suletta says, pick me, choose me, rely on me, I want to be here. I didn't understand and you knew that and you pushed me away to save me, but I understand now and I'm choosing to be here, I'm choosing to be at your side, like I promised to be

I'm here, all you have to do is let me in

(and god, they're already married tbh)

it's also proof of Suletta's new resolve, to move forward even if she gains nothing, she's going to do this thing - to pilot Calibarn and speak with Ericht and her mother - where she might not gain anything from doing it might lose everything doing it. it's the same for her in that moment at Miorine's door. she's talking to Miorine because she wants to, because she has to, to move forward, even if it doesn't actually get her Miorine (the game is over, remember, being the Holder doesn't have to mean anything to Miorine) but Miorine responds, lets her in, because she wants Suletta to be there

(the game is over, and Suletta still chooses to be Miorine's groom. the game is over, and Miorine still chooses to be her bride)

-

post script: I still think about Suletta getting ready to pilot Calibarn, and Guel trying to protest because Gundams kill their pilots, but Miorine just ice cold stares him down because Suletta is making her own decisions now and we will not fuck that up, Guel! even if those decisions are absolutely fucking terrifying to Miorine, she will support them because it's Suletta who's making them

and god, that bit where Miorine is so matter-of-fact running the callback test with Suletta and Calibarn to make sure she can reach a high enough score to break through Quiet Zero's data storm and doesn't appear affected at all, but the second Suletta makes it to Score 5, Miorine just crumbles in tears and prayer

(how much of Miorine was silently hoping that Suletta wouldn't be able to make it to Score 5 so someone else could take on the burden for once, but this is what it means to be the hero's lover in fiction, they will always be the one, there is never anyone else)

#g witch #sulemio #g witch spoilers #god I love these wives #is half of this nonsense? probably #long post under the cut

[blueeyesking]

Duel for the World! Yugi & Kaiba vs. Dartz! Part 1

Seto and Yugi had the good fortune to draw extremely powerful opening hands, making their first turns give them a strong start: Seto already has one Blue-Eyes on his field, and the other two are already in his hand; Yugi was able to summon his equally powerful Black Luster Soldier. Facing down both mighty creatures, Dartz doesn't seem remotely intimidated. He draws, and plays his Seal, that ominous blue-green symbol encompassing their Duel and changing Dartz from a gracious host

to a sharp-eyed predator.

Dartz wears a wicked grin as he continues his turn, playing two monsters that seem useless and weak to Seto; Yugi warns him of one's ability to come back stronger every time it's destroyed, but Seto isn't concerned. Dartz doesn't play anything else; clearly, Seto thinks, this man doesn't know who he's dealing with.

Seto's next draw confirms this. He lets out a hearty laugh- Polymerization! Absolutely perfect.

Seto had intended to use all three of his dragons to create Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon... but looking at Dartz's field, why should he summon a Fusion Monster with no abilities, when, objectively, Blue-Eyes Twin Burst dragon has fantastic abilities that will allow him to clear the board, leaving Dartz completely defenseless against Yugi's Black Luster Soldier? Even if Dragon Master Knight is powerful enough to finish this Duel immediately, Seto doesn't know Dartz's deck- he could have any number of counters to their powerful monster, or one of these monsters could have a trick to it that he doesn't know. After all, Seto doesn't have every Duel Monsters card memorized. Kris had suggested well; Twin-Burst would come in handy.

Kaiba reveals his Polymerization and the two Blue-Eyes in his hand, discarding all three in order to summon his great Twin Burst. Its heads rise and roar at the temple's interior, briefly joined by the solo Blue-Eyes next to them, who, to Seto's intuition, seems a little disappointed not to be included. But she's grateful to be here and fighting beside her sisters, which is more than enough for them.

With Twin-Burst on the field, Seto orders her to attack both of Dartz's Orichalcos monsters- but suddenly, the Seal flares with light and closes Yugi and Seto off from their supporting friends, casting a beam of cyan light high into the clouds.

Seto and Yugi recoil, shielding their eyes from the light- and when it fades, they find themselves on the Seal, high above the clouds. It's not long until Dartz appears with them.

Seto rushes forward to grab the man's collar, lifting his feet off of the ground with one arm. "What sort of party trick are you pulling now, bastard?! I won't be fooled by any more illusions!"

Dartz smiles at him, patting his forearm with all of the condescension one might show a small child throwing a tantrum. "Don't worry, Seto; the Seal is reacting to your powerful attack. It's showing us a memory held within the Orichalcos."

Seto scoffs and tosses Dartz to the floor. "We don't care about your dark memories, Dartz- we're here to end you."

Dartz shrugs. "I have no control over what the Orichalcos does in this capacity."

The clouds beneath the Seal reveal a grand city, alight with electric lighting and seated upon an island. Dartz stands, brushing off his robes, while the two Duelists gaze down at the sight.

What follows is a ten-minute exposition dump about Dartz's past, as the ruler of Atlantis. How the Orichalcos came from their volcano, along with the serpent of darkness that blotted out the sun. They used the stones to bring their society into a grand age of prosperity.

However, the stones also slowly corrupted people with darkness in their hearts. Eventually, it tested their wills- and turned those with great darkness inside, into monsters. When Dartz was given a piece of the Orichalcos, he was also told his purpose: to start the world anew, and create one without darkness.

He has Orichalcos Soldiers descend upon Atlantis and tells them to kill the unpure, taking their souls to revive their God! And in response, an aurora shines across the sky, bringing the Legendary Dragons out of their slumber to combat Dartz and the Orichalcos. The fight ended in a draw, with the Dragons sealed by Dartz's magic and Dartz leaving his ruined kingdom.

After his spiel and show, the Duelists are returned to themselves on the field, the light of the Seal fading back to normal. Blue-Eyes Twin Burst Dragon destroys Orichalcos Gigas, then Orichalcos Kyutora...

#arc: what the doma?! #narrative post #long post under the cut #this is mostly exposition tbh

[luminae-system]

(Danny, as almost always, speaking)

Venty ramble-ish post of the day under the cut as promised in the update (ended up a long post, sorry)

If anyone wants a quick summary, there is a tldr bolded and green at the bottom! Would love some advice if anyone is nice enough to share their experiences and stuff.

Tw: General negative thinking, obsessive/repetitive thinking, ocd-like tendencies, lots of self-doubt, system doubt/self denial, brief neglect(? Descriptions, brief abuse mention (tell us if we missed something else)

I've been thinking of System Origins (xyz-genic) lately. Something about messy thoughts and obsessive patterns and stuff, our psychiatrist calls it "cow chewing" or something like that (since January, our memory has been shit, sorry).

So. I'm afraid to label us as traumagenic because like, as I mentioned in the notes of a reblog this week, we never went through traditional abuse, we had food and education and shelter and all that good stuff.

Maybe mom was down in the dumps herself, and dad was always away on a buissness trip, not to mention mom having to deal with three kids at the same time... so we never really got enough love and attention. We were loved ofc, and I am grateful for all mom did for us.

But like... her best wasn't enough in many ways, that's why we're in therapy since like 11 and always go off the deep end whenever we try to go long periods without a session (monthly sessions seems to be the stretch/limit). And well, we have more diagnoses than fingers in one hand already, wonderful! So funny! Amazing! /sarcasm

So, anyways, back to the topic. We never really lacked anything, were never abused, and the emotional neglect wasn't thaaat bad and totally not on propose. So... was it enough to form a traumagenic CDD system? Are we really disordered?

I do have emotional amnesia in the rare times we've managed to get someone else to be the main fronter, and we do have some ptsd symptoms but like... we do have a separate ptsd diagnosis bc of my ex-bf (another story/post, bad bad guy) and the childhood ptsd-like symptoms are nowhere in the same level as when we first got the diagnosis of the other ptsd.

And looking at posible diagnosis, Partial DID (pdid) is so so so close to what we experience! That's like, us! Main frontstuck host with other headmates acting as 'advisors' and less fronting and more passive influence and co-conciousness (even if we are monoconcious, it's a bit weird, don't wanna think too hard about it)

But like... I didn't start having "multiple people in my head" until like I was 14. Or atleast being conscious of it I guess. That's way past the age threshold for identity consolidation and thus traumagenic system formation...

So are we "disordered enough" to qualify as a disordered/CDD system? Would we make a mockery of "real" disordered systems to self-diagnose that?

I've been thinking of sharing with our current psychologist. The last one dismissed my concerns and said I was being a hypochondriac (god, it's always that excuse! Even with our physical health, which, yes, another post/story).

I'm scared of being wrong. What if I really am just talking to myself and making a sorta tulpamancy thing on accident? Ofc nothing wrong with that, but it would change our system dynamics a lot.

On the flipside, if we really are a traumagenic system... now what? I doubt there are any specialized psychologists for systems in our town... so yeah. Not sure what we would do after a hypothetical informal/formal diagnosis by our psychologist and/or psychiatrist.

Gosh. This is... a lot. And I tried to be brief. Sorry, and if anyone did read it all, thank you so much for caring about us! (Or being curious I guess lol). I'd love some advice

So, tldr: No abuse, only some emotional neglect on accident. Is it trauma enough for traumagenic? We disordered enough for a diagnosis? What if yes? What if not?

-----------------------

Bonus info for anyone(s) who want to give us advice (thank you!!!!)

System of 3

One front-stuck host and two "advisors"

Daena is a sorta reformed persecutor and sorta trauma holder?

Aelius is our protector (he is taking a long nap/trip somewhere in the brain, miss him)

Danny (me) and Daena are two sides of the same coin, share a lot of traits and stuff even if personality is different, basically like a median system.

Aelius is fully separate from us gals

Dissociation has been very common since we were a very young kid, especially derealization, though depersonalization did happen a lot too. Therapy has helped a lot in terms of grounding

Not much in terms of Amnesia I think? Like, maybe I'm not aware of something, but we do remember our childhood well enough to tell anecdotes and funny stories

We do have emotional amnesia tho, mostly with taking care of the body and household chores (remembering something but like, I did not do that. The memory spawned by itself???)

Uhhh ask for more details if needed!!!

#-Danny #Danny✨️ #// #luminar rambles #pluralgang #tw syscourse #syscourse tw #<- ? (just in case) #luminae system #tw vent #tw spiral #tw spiraling #long post under the cut #pdid #partial did #questioning system #< ? i guess #tw neglect #tw abuse

[themadauthorshatter]

VERY suggestive Jally thought. Imagine both characters are of legal age of consent because, honestly, that's more comfortable to write

Somr background: Johnny is freshly booted from his home because, "You're 18 now. Get off our hands," so Dally takes him in and takes him home. It's a little awkward. Dally's neater than Johnny originally thought, and, once they get talking, Johnny doesn't have a plan. Find a job, find a place of his own, and live his life, but that's it

Here's where the suggestive stuff comes in:

Dally offers for Johnny to stay with him. It can be the two of them being each other's family. Family doesn't have to be brothers like the Curtis's. It can be them together looking out for each other

As he says this, Dally carefully places a hand on Johnny's shoulder, then moves it to carefully hold the sode of his face. He's being more vulnerable with him than he has before with anyone else, and being more careful than he ever has because of how Johnny flinches at being touched without being hurt

There's more talking, more back and forth, not arguing, just the two thinking out loud about a future together, given both their records. They're both moving closer together until their bodies are touching. Dally is touching more too, letting his hands move from Johnny's face to his arms, then his ribs, waist, hips, and legs

Johnny, on the other hand, just has his arms around Dally's neck because he doesn't know what to do

That's fine. Dally takes over and helps Johnny lay on his back. He also pushes Johnny's hair out of his face because his hair's long enough that he can barely see his eyes sometimes. Even with the scar on his face, Johnny is still a sight, resilient, yet precious like a gem and Dally is lucky enough to have him and be near him

Dally's also a sight. Johnny is so used tonseeing Dally in a dangerous mood or being himself with the gang, but here? Just the two of them? He's never seen Dally look the way he does: Nervous, eager, careful, even desperate, for what, it's not clear

The talk of living together comes to a halt as the two see, touch, and feel more of each other. Dally is so, so careful with Johnny, seeing how he's been hurt and damaged and doesn't want to cause him more pain; Johnny is the only thing he really loves, and he wants to show Johnny just how loved he is, how much he means to Dally, how much Dally sees Johnny and sees the world looking back at him. He's had plenty of experience with plenty of girls, but this time he's with someone he knows won't leave him- or at least hopes won't out of fear

For Johnny, Dally has never been so sincere, never been so tender, and it doesn't feel real. It feels like it could be a dream or a really cruel joke, and he doesn't know which is worse. As much as he believes it to be otherwise, Dally proves what's happening is real, and he practically begs Johnny to stay with him

And who is Johnny to say no?

It's a long night, one the two wake up late in the morning from. They had enough sense, at least, to sleep in Dally's bed, but their clothes are everywhere

Johnny is up first, but can't move because he's got Dally holding onto his waist, so he goes back to sleep. When Dally wakes up, he's happy to carry Johnny around, despite Johnny's insisting he can walk. He's also happy to make sure no one gets to Johnny again or hurts him, not if Dally has anything to say about it

Idk, that's the thought, they live together now, don't yell at me, please😅🙏

#the outsiders #dallas winston #johnny cade #dally winston #dally x johnny #jally #long post under the cut #suggestive

[insanelyadd]

If the song fits it fits, regardless of possible embarrassment. Anyway, lets hear what songs you put together, and what your reasons are!

Oh ho ho, you just gave me a chance to talk about music, hee hee hoo hoo.

Okay so I'll start with the playlist I made for the Collector, as a heads up note about all of these playlists, I am far from done, so while they're all short right now, I will be getting around to adding more.

Through Glass by Stone Sour -

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass Don't know how much time has passed All I know is that it feels like forever When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home Sitting all alone inside your head How do you feel? That is the question But I forget you don't expect an easy answer When something like a soul becomes initialized And folded up like paper dolls and little notes You can't expect a bit of hope So while you're outside looking in Describing what you see Remember what you're staring at is me (...) How much is real? So much to question An epidemic of the mannequins Contaminating everything We thought came from the heart It never did right from the start Just listen to the noises (Null and void instead of voices) Before you tell yourself It's just a different scene Remember it's just different from what you've seen (...) And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah And it's the stars The stars that shine for you And it's the stars The stars that lie to you, yeah-ah

I cannot stress enough that these are the actual lyrics and I did not move them around or anything, all I did was remove the repeating verses/choruses. This song came out in 2006. An absolute shoe-in to be used in AMVs for this little guy except it's a rock song from 2006 and not an indie-pop song from the last five years and it's also not popular.

I was doing my usual thing like a week or two ago where I go through a bunch of songs I heard on the radio when I was in elementary school and as I was relistening to this song I felt like I had lost my mind. I remember relating to this song a lot when I was little kid because the song is about being lonely, and I think the Collector would relate to it too. More kids should listen to rock music from the 2000s because I am deluded* and think a lot of it is good. Music critics tremble before me when they try to say nu metal is bad and I just say "Nah".

(*Yes I do have psychosis and have delusions for realsies, I can use this word)

After this it's all under the cut because this post will end up being long because I fucking love talking about lyrics and the fun little picture shows my brain makes when I hear a song that fits a character. if you don't feel like reading the Archivists playlist discussion be happy knowing I summed all of them up in one picture:

No Lullaby by Siames -

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home? Where's the love when you were left on your own? So alone

The most relevant lyrics in the song are the chorus because the verses on this song are super abstract, like more than their other songs that I've heard. Final lines of the song are the above lines but instead of "so alone" it says "Who says you're on your own?" which feels like how their arc concludes in the show.

All the Best by Siames -

Let's play pretend now Don't be afraid, no Stop being worried this could be the way We are what we made up Ready for a new start Follow your dreams no other way will be that great And I'll keep searching for all the best Picture yourself in a rocket and believe you can be anything you want The meaning of our actions feeds the power of attraction, let it flow Just let it flow It's right under our noses Going through our minds With passion and devotion (with passion and devotion) Your light can be our sun

I feel the lyrics here are pretty self-explanatory. Since the band is Argentinian I'm going to forgive any wonkyness in the lyrics.

Steal My Sunshine by LEN -

Genuinely the lyrics for this song are very abstract but apparently it was written when the brother and sister of the group were having a fight. Though I think the lines "And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, So I missed a million miles of fun" are pretty good. Also it sort of just sounds like a song he would like.

Island In The Sun by Wheezer -

On an island in the sun We'll be playing and having fun And it makes me feel so fine I can't control my brain We'll run away together We'll spend some time forever We'll never feel bad anymore

Escapism, sun motif, easy pick for the Collector. Plus the song itself has this sort of fun, laid back up-beatness to it.

Kids by MGMT -

You were a child, crawling on your knees toward it Making momma so proud But your voice is too loud We like to watch you laughing You pick the insects off plants No time to think of consequences Control yourself Take only what you need from it A family of trees wanting To be haunted (...) The memories fade like looking through a fogged mirror Decision to decisions are made and not bought But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot, I guess not

I made a whole AMV for the Collector and King set to this song, it's a perfect fit, if I were to post all the relevant lyrics I would probably end up posting the whole song. Actually fuck it I'll post them anyways for everyone who's never heard this song.

Fine by Lemon Demon - (the sped up version)

Light is on the way, we'll be having a fun time It's such a lovely day, we should pocket the sunshine And never give it back, even if there's a heat wave We're stalling on the track, it will just be a close shave I know (I know) That in a snap, all the birds will sing I know (I know) I'm full of crap, but still Everything works out nice in the end The sun will marry the moon It'll be fine Why don't we sit back, mellow again And have a nice afternoon? It'll be fine

I feel like this is a fun song for them. Once again sun and moon imagery in the song, outwardly cheerful and bouncy in that way, but menacing at the same time.

GRRRLS by Aviva - (specifically the version that's a Collector animatic)

I can't explain it better than the video explains itself, so here's a link

Best of You by Foo Fighters -

I've got another confession to make I'm your fool Everyone's got their chains to break Holding you Were you born to resist or be abused? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best The best of you?

I think it fits thematically with the Collector breaking free from the cycle of abuse he was subjected to.

When I'm Gone by 3 Doors Down -

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone Everything I am and everything in me Wants to be the one you wanted me to be I'll never let you down even if I could I'd give up everything if only for your good So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there So love me when I'm gone Love me when I'm gone But when your education x-ray cannot see under my skin I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends Been roaming through this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone And part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone

Most annoying thing on the face of the earth when you're making playlists for child characters or siblings with terrible relationships is probably that every goddamn song you find where the lyrics are vague enough to be interpreted as a familial relationship and not romantic was probably still originally written to be romantic *strangles amatonormativity with my bare fucking hands for an hour straight*

So anyways in this context the song is about the Collector trying to reconcile their feelings about their family being shitty with their want to connect and love people and be comforted by the familiar.

Now for the playlists for the Archivists. I encourage you to look at the scroll bar on your screen. I will not judge you for looking at it and deciding you've read enough, especially since my Archivists (anyone's Archivists really) are totally made up and are basically OCs inhabiting a hole left by canon. I still have fun with them tho.

Penumbra first because she has the shortest playlist (Sorry Penny it's hard to find songs about being stressed by raising your younger siblings and being emotionally and mentally drained by stress)

Help! by The Beatles -

So much younger than today (I never need) I never needed anybody's help in any way (Now) but now these days are gone (these days are gone) I'm not so self assured (And now I find) now I find I've changed my mind And opened up the doors (...) In oh so many ways (My independ-) my independence seems to vanish in the haze (But) but every now and then (now and then) I feel so insecure

Once again on closer inspection of the lyrics I think this is AGAIN about romance. I choose to ignore it. I Do Not See It. I'm taking the implications out back and shooting them. Mainly I chose this song because it was kind of funny for everyone's playlists to be songs from the last 30 years mostly and Penny is out here like "I relate to this Beatles song which is a literal cry for help" someone save this woman (nonbinary).

Stressed Out by twenty one pilots -

Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it if I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it, I'd probably only sell one

*putting on a very serious face* She's stressed, she yearns for the nostalgia of when she wasn't responsible for so many things. The part about making money means nothing because I don't think Collectors participate in any economy because it's implied they don't need to eat and they could probably just magic up whatever they want/need.

Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine -

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind You can't carry it with you if you want to survive And I never wanted anything from you Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

She wants to stop being so stressed out all the time but I think if she suddenly stopped experiencing it she would probably explode. Girl needs a therapist so badly. And a vacation. I like this song because when I looked up the meaning it was like "Bad days will end and things will get better one day" and the lyrics describe the incoming happiness as graphically fatal and terrifying in its approach like being hit by a fucking train in the first two lines of the song.

D.A.N.C.E. by Justice -

No need to analyze the lyrics here, I think she would just genuinely like this song and dance to it, though I think part of it is that there's a little bit of desperation in the way it's sung, like "please dance you have to dance or you will die" which is probably how she would feel if she was given time to relax like "oh wow this has never happened before, am I supposed to be afraid?"

Next I'll do Crescent because why not. "Birth" order, sure. Also Crescent's songs should be fairly easy to explain

The Pretender by Foo Fighters -

Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend Keep you in the dark And so it all began Send in your skeletons Sing as their bones go marching in again They need you buried deep The secrets that you keep are ever ready Are you ready? (...) What if I say I'm not like the others? What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays? You're the pretender What if I say I will never surrender? I'm the voice inside your head You refuse to hear I'm the face that you have to face Mirroring your stare I'm what's left, I'm what's right I'm the enemy I'm the hand that'll take you down Bring you to your knees So, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Keep you in the dark You know they all pretend

I mean. She's a liar, a pretender, she's keeping a secret (having their parent taken away) from her siblings. He's an evil bastard. This explanation will be the standard response to most songs in this playlist but maybe from different angles.

Dangerous by Big Data ft Joywave -

Nobody's listening when we're alone Nobody's listening, there's nobody listening, No one can hear us when we're alone No one can hear us, no, no one can hear us And I've gotta get out of here Sink down, into the dark Keep on running I've gotta get out of here (Keep on running) Sink down, into the dark You understand, they got a plan for us I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous It must be fate, I found a place for us I bet you didn't know someone could love you this much

A little bit uncharacteristically paranoid for Crescent tbh, but the song is fucking awesome and even though the most fitting part of the song is only one line "I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous" it is sung in this sort of taunting way that really has enough threatening intent to be perfect for him.

Miss Murder by AFI -

With just a look, they shook And heavens bowed before him Simply a look can break your heart The stars that pierce the sky He left them all behind We're left to wonder why He left us all behind

After reading the lyrics I have a suspicion they aren't what 10 year old me interpreted them to be about. That's alright. I can imagine the verses are about all the times Crescent has made cults to worship her (I have a HC that Collectors primarily do this as a means of acquiring samples from all the planets they visit because it's easier to convince the most advanced life on the planet that you are a god who demands tribute and getting them to mobilize for you VS going around finding all the animals and plants and whatever else yourself).

I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters -

I've got to hand it to you You've played by all the same rules It takes the truth to fool me And now you've made me angry I can't decide Whether you should live or die Oh, you'll probably go to heaven Please don't hang your head and cry No wonder why My heart feels dead inside It's cold and hard and petrified Lock the doors and close the blinds We're going for a ride

Did I tell you guys??? Did I mention??? Crescent likes to kill people???? Most interesting part of this choice is how the truth will fool him, which is true. If she believes something that isn't true about you and makes the wrong assumptions based on that it's better for you in the long run, though continued exposure to her increases the chances that he'll eventually realize he made the wrong guess and then he'll get Very Mad about it.

Breezeblocks by alt-J -

No lyrical analysis because yeah they don't really fit but I like the song for the vibe, mainly the ending, though that sort of repetitive mania isn't really in line with how I characterize Crescent. I personally love it, this song triggers my mania sometimes and it's great.

Lone Digger by Caravan Palace -

Another one where it's less about how I write the character and more about what I think she'd like to listen or dance to. I think she would enjoy the frantic energy of the song.

You're Gonna Go Far Kid by Offspring -

Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time And turning all against the one is an art that's hard to teach Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd And as you step back into line, a mob jumps to their feet (...) With a thousand lies and a good disguise Hit 'em right between the eyes Hit 'em right between the eyes When you walk away, nothing more to say See the lightning in your eyes See 'em running for their lives Slowly out of line, and drifting closer in your sight So play it out, I'm wide awake, it's a scene about me There's something in your way and now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want, well, it's all because of me

I feel like the picture here is clear, liar, manipulative, doesn't show her true face so she's always in disguise (metaphorically), the implication of murder/fighting. *slaps the hood of this song* This baby can fit so many of Crescent's worst qualities in it.

I Get It by CheVelle -

So you say you're ignored, as it is Well, give us your sad, sad trip You're right, I get it It all makes sense, you're the perfect person So bright, so wrong Let's all live in your imaginary life Assumed it's whether We're right, or wrong We're doomed and there's plenty for all How dare you catch me counting? How dare you call at all? How dare you call this suffering? How dare you call at all?

Crescent's inner monologue if either of the Twins voice their concerns about anything. Someone needs to hit him with a car.

Annihilation by A Perfect Circle -

It's your choice, your choice, your choice, your choice, Peace or annihilation

This song I think is originally about the American military industrial complex and nuclear war. So anyways for my dumb little OC's playlist this is basically the choice they give the people of the planets they visit if they start to get hostile. "Hey, I know things are tense but have you considered that I will boil your oceans and burn your world to ash if you don't choose to be nice?" Obviously it's also another instance of the song only really having one or two lines that strongly fit the vibe but you see the vision?

You're Going Down by Sick Puppies -

Define your meaning of war To me, it's what we do when we're bored I feel the heat comin' off of the blacktop And it makes me want it more Because I'm hyped up, out of control If it's a fight, I'm ready to go I wouldn't put my money on the other guy If you know what I know that I know (...) This is hardly worth fighting for But it's the little petty shit that I can't ignore When my fist hits your face and your face hits the floor It'll be a long time comin' Bet you got the message now 'Cause I was never goin' Yeah, you're the one that's going down

Oh hey one thing I haven't said about Crescent yet is she sometimes beats the shit out of her siblings (mainly Solari who instigates it on purpose even though she knows she'll lose because it's worth it to them to get under his skin). Well when I say "beats the shit out of them" I mean it more like Crescent can get a single good solid hit in and it knocks Solari down and the fight is over. Solari has never actually been mad enough to push their luck into a full-on brawl with Crescent. If Solari actually, for real, wants to fight him then she duels him with magic instead because it's an even match-up.

Next up I'll do Solari

She also has You're Going Down, but intended from the opposite perspective, while Crescent is the singer, Solari is the listener.

The Red by CheVelle -

The red Well, it filters through So lay down The threat is real When his sight Goes red again Seeing red again Seeing red again

You might be wondering, is this another song from Solari's perspective about Crescent? No. Solari gets so mad she basically loses all control of herself, hence the destruction of property she does. If they ever got actually mad enough to actually fight Crescent for real with their hands, she would be a very dirty fighter. She sees Crescent on her missions visiting the worlds of mortals. She's watched him fight for thousands of years. Crescent has never seen Solari fight with their hands. She might not be as physically strong as he is but she would be able to have the advantage of Crescent not knowing what to expect. Plus if Satellite is there and something has made their twin THAT mad then they would join in too.

Headstrong by Trapt -

Conclusions manifest Your first impressions got to be your very best I see you're full of shit and that's alright That's how you play, I guess you get through every night Well, now that's over I see your fantasy You wanna make it a reality paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads, yeah Well, now that's over I see your motives inside Decisions to hide Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on any one I know that you are wrong Headstrong, we're headstrong

Solari's mind when they're about to start shit with Crescent again. Unrelated I saw the band was marked red on my screen earlier and I was like "???" for a half second before remembering the lead singer is a dipshit loser who whines on twitter and facebook because I guess he has nothing better to do. May the miserable cretin never chart again.

Oh No! by Marina -

I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I just wanna change I know exactly what I want and who I want to be I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, oh! One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart Maybe it is all a test 'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best

We've come to the portion of the playlist where Solari is consumed by guilt and regret. It's actually not separated like that, I'm just saying these lines speak to how she wants to change who she is as a person because she realizes she doesn't like who she currently is. Not that Penumbra or Crescent would know she's trying to get better, because Solari doesn't respect either of them and does not put in effort into improving herself for them, she's doing it for her little brother, the Collector. Even if she never gets to see them again.

Bother by Stone Sour -

Wish I was too dead to cry My self-affliction fades Stones to throw at my creator Masochists to which I cater You don't need to bother I don't need to be I'll keep slipping farther But once I hold on I won't let go 'til it bleeds Wish I was too dead to care If indeed I cared at all Never had a voice to protest So you fed me shit to digest I wish I had a reason My flaws are open season For this, I gave up trying One good turn deserves my dying

I did mention they are being eaten alive by guilt and regrets right? This is for when Solari is having a bad time in her head.

Riot by Three Days Grace -

If you feel so empty So used up, so let down If you feel so angry So ripped off, so stepped on You're not the only one refusing to back down You're not the only one, so get up Let's start a riot A riot Let's start a riot

Solari is ready and back to being angry. They totally would incite a riot if they felt like they had a good enough reason to start one.

Fine Again by Seether -

And I am aware now Of how everything's gonna be fine One day, too late, I'm in Hell I am prepared now Seems everyone's gonna be fine One day, too late, just as well I feel a dream in me expire And there's no one left to blame it on I hear you label me a liar 'Cause I can't seem to get this through

Just kidding it's Solari Emo Hours again. The only line in the song that doesn't really apply are the lines about staying sober because I HC that there isn't really any chemical that has any effect on Collectors like that. Anyways this is Solari being like "Wow the two older siblings were able to just go back to pretending everything is fine after getting rid of our baby sibling what the fuck."

These next three songs Solari shares with Satellite so I'll talk about why I chose them for both.

Send the Pain Below by CheVelle -

I liked having hurt So send the pain below Where I need it You used to beg me to take care of things And smile at the thought of me failing But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below Much like suffocating Much like suffocating (...) You used to run me away all while laughing Then cry about the fact 'til I returned But long before having hurt I'd send the pain below I'd send the pain below

This is a bit messy but whenever the lines say "You did this" that's a perspective shift for the line from the twins' perspective to The Collector. Basically another song about the twins regretting being shitheads to their baby brother.

Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park -

Memories consume Like opening the wound I'm picking me apart again You all assume I'm safe here in my room Unless I try to start again I don't want to be the one The battles always choose 'Cause inside I realize That I'm the one confused I don't know what's worth fighting for Or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright So, I'm breaking the habit I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'm going to assume some of this song is about some type of addiction. I'm disregarding that. Anyways the part about behavioral issues and not knowing why you act the way you do does align with the twins, and I mentioned it previously with Solari, about her trying to get better for the Collector, if he ever returns, but the same applies to Satellite. Though Satellite is at least attempting to practice this with Penumbra and Crescent. It's kind of difficult because they're so afraid of both of them, and Crescent avoids talking to them whenever he's actually around.

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men -

I don't like walking around this old and empty house So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear The stairs creak as you sleep It's keeping me awake It's the house telling you to close your eyes And some days I can't even dress myself It's killing me to see you this way 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore There's an old voice in my head That's holding me back Well, tell her that I miss our little talks Soon it will be over and buried with our past We used to play outside when we were young And full of life and full of love Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore Don't listen to a word I say (Hey) The screams all sound the same (Hey) And though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore You're gone, gone, gone away I watched you disappear All that's left is a ghost of you Now we're torn, torn, torn apart There's nothing we can do Just let me go, we'll meet again soon Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around I'll see you when I fall asleep

Yeah it's basically the full song. Once again the lyrics were vague and I had to dig around to find out it was written with romance in mind but I am sending my fucking mind beams out and blowing that up. Anyways tell me this couldn't be about Satellite and Solari's guilt for how they treated their little sibling and the last verse here where they "watched you disappear" is about when the Collector was imprisoned, and the torn apart bit is how they feel about their family. I might not identify as asexual anymore (further testing necessary I'll get back to you all on this if it turns out to be true) but I am still going to be fucking grabbing songwriters in my mouth and violently shaking them. Please can you just write complex interesting relationships into songs without being "OH YEAH IT'S ROMANCE" man there's other types of love. Please. I am on my fucking hands and knees.

*double checks playlist* Oh shit Fine Again by Seether is also on Satellite's playlist. Same explanation applies. Don't feel like moving shit around and adding accommodations in the existing text, I've been working on this for four hours because I have severe ADHD and I am dogshit at prioritizing anything.

If you get this far comment on the post about my brave stance that if a candle smells good enough I would eat it. It hasn't happened yet but my toasted coconut s'more candle tempts me every fucking time I smell it.

Anyways now it's Just Satellite

Unwell by Matchbox Twenty -

Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be, me

Fun fact I actually listen to this song when I feel like I might be about to have a bout of existential terror or some other flavor of mental breakdown and singing along to it calms me down. Obviously, Satellite would be able to relate about feeling gripped by a nebulous madness that Changes You when it hits. I actually have an idea for what I might have unintentionally gave them. Like. This is buried deep enough no one will hit it.

Anyways like a few days after I wrote my fucking long ass post about the Archivists and Collector's relationships and related HC and shit I began wondering. "Am I Autistic??" Asked a friend who is autistic and has ADHD at the same time (like what I would have if the answer to this wonder is yes) and she gave me some things to read about it and I was like "oh my fucking god this is literally all me." and then, because I'm some type of menace freak and I reread my posts that I like frequently, I reread my post about the Archivists and shit and I was like "Ah fuck are they all autistic??? I knew I couldn't write neurotypical people because I have literally never been one but seriously??????"

Point is: I might be autistic. Mentioning it here and now because it seems like getting an actual diagnosis is going to be a huge fucking pain in the ass and won't happen for months. And I might have made the Archivists all autistic or probably other slivers of my various other mental illnesses because I am physically incapable writing a neurotypical person. Circling around to what started this tangent: Satellite absolutely has autistic meltdowns. I don't know if ADHD people get meltdowns like how I imagine Satellite gets them, but they are modeled after My Own experiences with having meltdowns. So anyways back to music analysis in relation to my dumbass little OCs.

Bound For The Floor by Local H -

Born to be down I've learned all my lessons before now Born to be down I think you'll get used to it And you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic And you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic (...) Born to be down I think that I've said this before now Born to be down What good is confidence?

I've actually always related this song to mental illness, ever since I was a kid, I always associated the song with the struggles of growing up neurodivergent and how it beats you down and you learn to accept it and live with it.

Words As Weapons by Seether -

All I really want is something beautiful to say Keep me locked up in your broken mind I keep searchin', never been able to find a Light behind your dead eyes Not anything at all You keep living in your own lie, ever-deceitful and ever-unfaithful Keep me guessin', keep me terrified Take everything from my world (...) Keep me dumb, keep me paralyzed Why try swimming? I'm drowning in fables You're not that saint that you externalize You're not anything at all It's oh-so playful when you demonize To spit out the hateful, you're willing and able Words are weapons I'd be terrified You're nothing in my world

Now a song for how Satellite feels about Crescent. Once again, about a person who lies and projects a self that isn't true to who they really are, and the singer is terrified of them, which fits because that's how Satellite feels about their older brother. Crescent is physically strong and gifted with weapons but her best weapon is her charisma and charm and how she uses it to manipulate people.

Keep Talking by Pink Floyd -

There's a silence surrounding me I can't seem to think straight I sit in the corner And no one can bother me I think I should speak now (why won't you talk to me?) I can't seem to speak now (you never talk to me) My words won't come out right (what are you thinking?) I feel like I'm drowning (what are you feeling?) I'm feeling weak now (why won't you talk to me?) But I can't show my weakness (you never talk to me) I sometimes wonder (what are you thinking?) Where do we go from here (what are you feeling?) I feel like I'm drowning (You never talk to me) you know I can't breathe now (What are you thinking?) We're going nowhere (What are you feeling?) We're going nowhere (Why won't you talk to me?) (You never talk to me) (What are you thinking?) (Where do we go from here?)

Now I saved this one for last even though it was literally the first song I ever started associating with Satellite because I think it really fits them. I think this is what it's like from their perspective when they have a meltdown. I don't really know how else to describe it so I guess I'll break this down line by line because sunk cost fallacy at this point why not.

"There's a silence surrounding me" in my own experience with meltdowns, which is what Satellite's are based off of, I find that all the blood rushes to my ears and I sort of lose the ability to recognize sound?

"I can't seem to think straight" probably self-explanatory but in my experience I stop having coherent thought and kind of only think in impulses.

"I sit in the corner, and no one can bother me," though this wasn't always the case (like when you're a child experiencing this you don't really understand what is even happening, and you develop this later in like when it's more like "ah this shit again") you will typically try to remove yourself from the situation that is causing you the distress that makes you have a meltdown in the first place.

"I think I should speak now, I can't seem to speak now, My words won't come out right" this could either be interpreted as a meltdown where you just shut down and stop talking or a meltdown where you fucking scream, I tended to have ones where I would just scream, but that might be because when I get the other way I end up crying silently instead so I might have filed those moments away as just normal "I am sad" moments?

"I feel like I'm drowning" meltdowns can be overwhelming, and when I'm overwhelmed I tend to stop my feet and flail my arms and sort of contort myself because?? I don't know. It feels like I'm trying to escape my own body honestly. Drowning in myself.

"I'm feeling weak now, but I can't show my weakness" this shit is fucking humiliating to have happen in public and around other people man, it sucks ass.

So anyways that is my ridiculously long ass post about music and my little bastards (and baby, the Collector is only baby) that I spent FIVE HOURS writing. I am going to go wash my hands because Bad Texture, drink some water, and then get floor time which is time where I lie face down on my floor and pretend to be a dead body.

#toh the collector #the collector #toh the archivists #the archivists #I am not going to fucking tag all these bands do you want me to be here for six hours??? #musical discussion #if you want to skip to the end I did a great analysis of Keep Talking by Pink Floyd #and how you could interpret it as a song about having a meltdown #answears #long post under the cut #I am not fucking kidding if you open this post Prepare Yourself #toh spoilers

[apalestar]

One orthon was difficult enough, three was insurmountable. Yet it was almost plausible. Sent on behalf of Zariel, mercy was a far cry away. It seemed, as Karlach pulled her trusted axe from the face of a fallen devil, that the fiends had forgotten she and Astarion were not about to grant mercy either.

Severely wounded, arm certainly broken, the axe felt heavy in her exhausted grip. Blade to the ground, she aimed to lean on it for just a moment, turning to see what shape he was in, flashing a victorious smile. Her vision darkening and certainly blurred, her body wishing only to collapse and rest - she didn't detect the movement behind her.

Karlach heard it before she felt it. The all too familiar ballad of ripped flesh, cracked bones and blood cascading onto rock. Even then when feeling returned, it didn't in spades. Only when she caught sight of fiery flares branching away from her did she dare look down. She saw it. A blade protruding from her torso, a clean cut all the way through. A dagger, in an orthon's hands at least...

The taste of blood threatened to drown her as she drained. The only thing holding her up was the orthons grip on the hilt, but as he finally gave way, so did she. Collapsing on her side with no time to speak, to fathom what was happening. She had kissed death before in battle. But unlike those times, there was no resurrection scrolls. No Withers.

'Go back...home...' Karlach found herself thinking as the world began to fade, focusing solely on the blur of white amongst all the red. 'Leave...be safe...'

'Live.'

@iron-hearts-ablaze

Idiocy separated them. They worked in tandem. Karlach in front whilst he struck from the shadows, but somehow the orthons had placed some distance between them. Led them down a tragic path in their tale. One where Astarion buried his blade into the throat of one just to see the silver and crimson pierce through his partner's body. "Karlach!" Voice carried across the field.

A cry born of pain and suffering. Of a heart lurched within his chest. The sudden drop of his world beneath his feet. Astarion felt off-kilter in a way he hadn't for centuries. "Get away from her!" He snarled and growled uncaring of his own injuries.

It was the sickening part of all of this. He was already undead. His curse sustained him. Wounds and injuries healed slowly even shortly after being inflicted. He only had to stay fed. Karlach afforded no such boon.

Grief-stricken and adrenaline filled Astarion was a sight to behold. A creature of death and shadow given form. If the hells wanted a monster of him, they damn sure received one. He fought them the orthons blades coated slick in their blood. A man driven to the extremes. Not even Cazador had warranted such fury. He sustained his own wounds as he stole their lives, but Astarion soldiered through. Unless they severed his head, he wasn't so easily felled.

But it didn't matter. None of it mattered. Karlach was already still when he reached her. He begged and pleaded beneath his breath. For anyone or anything to reverse this. To suddenly be a full vampire capable of bringing her back. But he wasn't. This was real.

"No, no, no! You weren't supposed to leave me like this! You were supposed to live! Damn you!" Astarion wailed. Voice tainted in his breaking heart. Tears glistened in tracks down his face. His hands cupped Karlach's cheeks. But she didn't breath. She didn't move. She was just a magnificent flame snuffed out by the wind.

Astarion held her corpse in his arms. His face buried in her hair. Cries muffled against her, unwilling to let Karlach go even as her body grew cold. Colder than his own. He had failed her. Failed to live up to that promise of curing her. But he'd bring her back. He would bring her back.

The field green and lush even under the full moon's light. He loathed flowers. Gaudy and trite little things, but she didn't. And this was as much for him as it was for her. Astarion waited for the flowers to burst open. Snow white beneath the pale moonlight. Moonflowers.

The urn in his hands felt heavy like the choking weight in his heart; the tightness in his throat. Astarion stilled himself with a breath he didn't require. Twisted the jar open and let her be free among the flowers she loved. Watched as her ashes would spread and dance among the blooms of white.

Astarion couldn't save her. Couldn't restore her heart, but he could do this. Bring Karlach home. Lay her to rest under the moon and stars far away from Zariel and the hells that wronged her. "Goodbye, Fire Girl."

And in the end Astarion had to live on for her. For the both of them. Eternity was going to be very, very long.

He still hated the flowers.

#iron-hearts-ablaze #verse: this will be a lot of fun #// Vix woke up and chose angst #// respect #death tw #long post under the cut

[chainmail-butch]

I'm furious and I need to vent.

Last year I was hired on to Invicta as a researcher. A Byzantinist, specifically. I say hired on but I was never given an employee contract and I didn't file a W-2. I instead have to pay all my taxes out of pocket because my boss refuses to honor his promises (contract, healthcare)

I quickly discovered that my writing was not respected and was only used to glorify war. I discovered that the vast majority of the people who consumed my work would despise me personally and I, in turn, don't like them. But my work was successful. My topics, my writing, my art design, and my direction produced videos that ranged between 'successful' and 'wildly successful.' Around my string of successes the channel rotted. My boss adopted a corner-cutting do-it-cheap-and-shitty attitude which disrespected his viewers and failed to recognize the inherent worth of written and visual mediums as art.

My work continued to hit the mark while my boss continued to deliberately kneecap his staff with constant micromanagement combined with an unwillingness to listen to us (me) when we (I) pointed out that his strategies were failing and that he was setting up a member of his team to fail by giving her (the only other woman on the team) a video series that had already proved itself to be failed format (How They Did It).

Last April, I was given my own series to direct. I managed art design, I managed the research, I managed R&D, I managed the 2D storyboard and I was solely responsible for the 3D storyboard. The results of my project exceeded my wildest dreams.

My boss, predictably, tried to turn the format that I pioneered into a collection of cheap shitty cashgrabs that relied on the words '3D' and an interesting thumbnail.

It didn't work.

And now here we are, at my latest project. It was, once again, a smash hit. This video alone has nearly the same amount of views as all of the videos we've put out in the past month put together.

I was pleased, and I had hoped that this demonstration of my ability would make my boss trust me to run the series as I see fit. Instead all it has done is make him attempt to micromanage even harder.

I've had 3 hour-long arguments with him this week. All of them were to prevent him from taking steps to make the series worse in all quantifiable ways.

I'm so fucking tired.

He called me on my fucking lunch break and I had to argue with him while I had a hunger headache.

I just want some goddamn recognition for all of the work I've put in.

#long post under the cut

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

ermmm wowland spoiwers

bonus these r cute:

^ I LOVE THESE SPRITES SO MACH the dodge especially

fun fact: i get all his guns confused all the time so when i drew my 'airhead' animation i mistakenly made him 1-hand the rifle(?) or is it a shotgun?

"food", "food", "...", "food :)"

KJY - "Roland was a character whose eyes were fixed behind in many ways. When he first ran into Salvador, he anxiously kept looking backward and left himself open for a surprise attack. But, there was one time in the past where Roland could look ahead, and the encounter with Angelica is what I think brought change to Roland’s life. With Angelica gone now, he’s regressed to watching behind and reminiscing about the past. To Roland, Angelica is an angel that brought much pain as well as much happiness to him. Overcome with the grief of losing his angel, Roland wanders until he meets another angel: Angela is the source of Roland’s suffering, but at the same time, she gives him a reason to keep on living by any means. I remember the artists at Mili explaining to us as they worked on the song that ‘Gone Angels’ expresses Roland’s determination to kill that angel with his own hands and leave nothing behind."

^^^^^^ that makes me feel so many things

also you know, i only just now realized roland comments on all the groups of characters at the top of their pages <*bad eyes*

some stuff he says:

"Charles’ Office. A band of myself and the eleven Fixers who followed my lead, despite all my shortcomings… Being in the northern part of the City meant many of us had pretty extravagant outfits. I remember laughing at the way Astolfo dressed, too. We were together for quite a long time, and it felt like our company would last forever, but here we are now, going our separate ways. This wasn’t an unexpected outcome, though. I’d wonder if they’re alive and well from time to time, and it was good to see Olivier at the very least. I sometimes miss those simpler times when I could just focus on the now and live in the moment."

(about pierre & jack) "A restaurant aged 11 years in the streets of District 23; although it’s not super popular or anything, it has quite a few regulars. Its specialty is meat-based foods, and the main dish is Pierre’s signature thick meat pies. I’ve never tried one myself, but according to its patrons… the abundance and juiciness of the meat make for a fantastic meal. Now here’s the funny bit: some people don’t seem to know what the pie is made of. Well, Pierre, the head chef of the establishment, isn’t the type to babble out for things no one asked. Besides, we’re talking about District 23… the streets of flavor, y’know? Whatever methods or ingredients were used to make the food… most of those folks don’t pay any attention. They’d rather be taking another bite out of their tasty grub if they have the time to ask questions." (hmmm...)

(about the 8 o'clock circus) "...Perhaps that circus could be the place to restore your smile, forgotten in the hum of everyday life. I’d like to see a performance myself if I ever get the chance." (?? roland you saw what oswald did though......well if he wants to see the circus he can go see the circus <3 love & peace)

(about the smiling faces) "...The Smiling Faces apparently enjoy flaking human flesh into thin fillets to eat… They’re definitely far from the only ones known for cannibalism, but you’ve got to admit, their flesh fillet is something to behold. It’s uncanny how they can make the fillet so thin that you can see through it. Not like… I want to ever eat it." (HMM!? WHY DID U PAUSE)

(about liu association) "...That’s why most Fixers try not to get attached to each other; too many couples end up losing their significant others sooner or later. But, once you feel the warmth of someone precious, you can’t easily let them go. I sometimes wonder what the right thing to do is, if you lose someone who naturally became a huge part of your life." ( D: )

(about liu again) "I must wonder how it feels to be able to cherish something. To make choices for one purpose and even forfeit everything else in order to protect what’s precious. To restrain yourself from grieving for the deaths of the few to save the many who live on; to risk all you have for the sake of your loved one. I suppose it’s not the most unusual feeling. Everyone vaguely senses it, but no one bothers to delve into it. How could one name it… Love? Sympathy? I don’t think it will ever be possible to define this with a single word. A simple word wouldn’t do it justice, either. Nevertheless, it is a matter worth considering time after time."

(about distorted yan) "It sounds like there are beings comparable to gods in the City, such as the Prescripts. I think I’ve seen ‘em a few times myself… although they’re not memories I want to revisit..." (hmm...?)

#roland posting #lor spoilers #long post under the cut #it's 2 am gn

[wereshrew-admirer]

......Regency Era AU 

Duvall came to Eastern Folly as a student, but though he comes from a good family the high society of Sangfielle paralleled the common folk in their disdain for the old dominion. struggling to keep his place among the nobles, he regularly took long walks in the countryside to avoid doing anything rash in response to the taunting of his peers. 

On one such walk in the spring he met a young farmer wandering far from home and restless despite the season’s usually bone-wearying work of plowing and planting. they’d been forbidden from working the fields until the crops emerged, having been caught the year prior attempting to plant unearthly seeds in the soil. 

The farmer had never met a nobleman and their suspicion of Duvall was no different from their hesitancy to trust any of his class. Duvall, well accustomed to hostility by now, found this a refreshing change from the sneering of his supposed peers. 

The farmer, for their part, was pleasantly surprised first when instead of taking offense Duvall shared in their complaints of the local ruling class, and second when he reacted with genuine (and even enthusiastic) interest when they mentioned their theories on unorthodox methods for increasing crop yield. 

The two formed a habit, unintentional at first, of meeting along the shore of the large lake to the west of town, laughing together until the suns hung low on the horizon. they became close that summer, but when the weather cooled and harvesting began the farmer was called back to work, their size and strength appreciated by their family even when their mind was not. 

Duvall continued his afternoon walks until the frosts fell over the land and chilled his feet, but his friend did not return. All winter he sat at his bedroom window looking out at the low hills surrounding Eastern Folly, dreaming of the day he might hear the farmer’s laughter and forget, if only briefly, the strict world in which he lived his daily life. 

He got his wish the following spring, before even the first of the year’s new leaves unfurled -he found his farmer working among a construction crew near the marketplace Duvall frequented. At first he was overjoyed, but when the farmer caught his eye and called to him from the scaffolding of a new building, Duvall realized at once that they were not alone, and that any number of his enemies might witness his association with this commoner and use it to their advantage. 

Still, his desire to speak to his friend was strong, and he managed to pass word to the farmer of a time and place for them to meet in private. 

The farmer, blind to Duvall’s concerns and new to both urban life in general and the vulgar stories passed among their new coworkers, misinterpreted this request and arrived at the proposed meeting place with expectations well beyond those Duvall had intended. 

Surprised but far from offended, Duvall found himself drawn into the farmer’s arms and an affair of the sort he’d thought only possible in the most frivolous of fictions. But unlike his clothes, the farmer was unable to strip from him the true reasons for his discretion. 

Duvall was a scholar. To access his studies he must remain in the good graces of his family, and to do so meant that though he was allowed to fly far from the nest, he was to remain a respected member of high society wherever he landed. And the farmer was far below his station in both class and temperament. To be seen together would ruin him. 

And so when they met, they did so in secret, and only with great caution on Duvall’s part.

This would prove disastrous for any love that may have grown between them when Duvall received a scholarship that took him far from Eastern Folly on such short notice that he was unable to find the time away from watchful eyes to inform the farmer of his departure. 

Though he tried to write, his letters were returned to him undelivered. In desperation he wrote to the farmer’s parents under the guise of a business owner seeking work owed, and to his horror, this was the only letter that received a response: his lover had been conscripted and was soon thereafter killed in battle. 

Years later, Duvall returned to Eastern Folly in time to see its change into Blackwick county, and established himself there as a humble professor. Finally tolerated by the local gentry, if only, he suspected, as a source of entertainment. Still, this afforded him the freedoms he had originally sought in his flight from Aldomina - to study as he saw fit, and to research first hand those subjects that caught his interest. 

And he was not altogether as lonely as he seemed - he made what he thought were genuine friends in a rival scholar whose humor was all that saved him from constant scandal, and in a lady who shared Duvall’s foreign tongue and whom would have faced similar trials if not for her cool demeanor that allowed insults to roll off of her like beads of water off a duck’s back (unlike Duvall, who continued to struggle to control himself when sufficiently frustrated well beyond the years of when such things are expected of young men). Others, too, were kind enough to him that he felt at ease in Blackwick, if not at home. 

Parties, unfortunately, were still an uncomfortable necessity to remain in good favor with the patrons he had managed to acquire on his own, and to satisfy his now-distant family who continued to send him financial support from time to time with the hope that he might someday marry and expand the reach of their line into the heartland. 

And so every few weeks he’d spend an evening suffering the ignorant questions of those attempting to stave off their own boredom. He was painfully aware that most attending these social events had no genuine interest in his research, and so when the gaggle of dull-witted gentry abandoned him for some new amusement, Duvall felt nothing but gratitude to the unfortunate newcomer whose mysterious origin drew their attention.

It was a general, he found out later, having “returned” to Blackwick after a successful campaign in the bloodfields absolutely dripping in awards and medals and tales of gloriously violent exploits. Duvall’s gratitude for the distraction they posed did not extend to his curiosity, as not much turned his stomach quicker than did the glorification of military men who stood on the backs of soldiers who had no choice but to die fighting under their heel - a sensitivity that he did his best to hide, lest someone inquire as to how he picked it up.  

It was this that kept Duvall far from the circles that grew around the general, though the rumors were impossible to escape: Chine should died when a bullet tore through his face and took one of his eyes, but he had fought on to lead his men to victory as if unaffected by pain or blood loss. The list of battles they’d won was long, and they had become well known for their ferocity and willingness to face death alongside his soldiers. It was said that the very sight of their snarling face sometimes inspired their foes to surrender - The tales of their exploits nearly bore Duvall to tears. 

The only interesting line of gossip was the officer’s mysterious background. They were said to have come from Eastern Folly, but no local house claimed them. They spoke with the local accent, though, and bore features similar to those whose lines ran deep as the mines in these mountains. 

More curious yet, he would not identify the benefactor that sponsored their commission. Claiming again that they had ties to the land of Blackwick itself. What might have been a controversy that ruined a lesser man, Chine thrived on it. Equally fearsome on the ballroom floor, it was said, as they were in battle. 

This set Duvall off laughing whenever he heard it and so his friend and rival Lye Lychen took to announcing dance partners as though they had stepped into a boxing ring with the general, assigning points to potential suitors as they struggled to catch Chine’s attention through the normal means of flattery and sex appeal and over-practiced wit. 

While this often successfully got his shoulders shaking, Duvall managed to not so much as glance in the general’s direction. Lye’s obvious exaggeration of the situation became something of a game between the two of them and the Lady Es. She acted as a referee, confirming the truth or lie of Mr. Lychen’s claims whenever Duvall called it, saving him from actually looking himself - which added to the challenge for Lye, who was determined to craft a story just extravagant enough to draw Duvall’s curiosity without being flagged as false. Lady Es, in all fairness, never contradicted Lye until Duvall asked for her word. 

But Blackwick was not populous enough for such a game to continue forever. It was inevitable that eventually Duvall would look upon the general by accident, on or off of the dance floor. It happened late one evening after Duvall had drunk just enough to doubt himself - across the room a large group of people shifted, opening just enough to reveal at their center the figure that Duvall had thus far avoided. 

And fate would have it that the general, in that moment, also glanced in his direction. Duvall was frozen in place, staring with eyes so wide that he was sure to draw attention by his expression alone -  there across the hall stood his farmer, rendered nearly unrecognizable by the scars that cut bright lines through their freckles and dug deep pits into their face, but alive. He half-stumbled forward only to realize that a sea of party goers still blocked the path between them, and then recognition seemed to spark in the general’s eye and instead of reflecting the intensity of joy that Duvall felt for the briefest, sweetest moment, their expression shifted into a cold glare that seemed to take the floor out from below Duvall’s feet. 

Lyke was near enough to catch him, exclaiming, “woa now, you alright buddy? You look like you’ve seen a ghost”

Duvall grasped his friend’s arm for dear life, staring at the space where his farmer had been a moment before, replaced now by the ever-shifting crowd, and grateful for it, too - for a moment more of that hateful glare would surely have sent him to his own grave. He shook his head as if to clear it, blinking up at Lye and forcing a grin that he knew wouldn’t fool the man for a second, “you know - i - i might have”

#chine/duvall #regency era au ???? #my writing #??? #did not mean to write more than a summary but here we are #long post under the cut #sorry for my ignorance i am but a STEM person who encountered the smallest bit of a genre and was swept away #i'd like to write this in less of a fake flowery tone someday but i've got so so many fic wips #why is it so easy to hoard story fragments?? #images i feel compelled to finish but stories i'll just write and write and write and put back on my shelf for later #(this isn't good writing but it is an idea i'm having a fun time ruminating on for some reason)

[thatonewatercat]

i feel like Mumbo and X would use it as a pot for a fern eventually. They didn’t know what to do with it. They also couldn't get rid of it. I feel like a pot for a fern fits. 

I had this idea for a really long time actually, but only recently have a had enough small bits of break to pick a doodle and act on it. @theminecraftbee​

(rant and other versions and doodles under the cut)

really quick rant first actually. First off, I forgot to add a few things on the final version. were was going to be some neon blood splatters, a dent in the helmet, a slightly more shaped helmet, stuff like that. the first sketch just weren’t clear enough to make digital, but i think it would still have some partially scrubbed off blood and scratches ‘n stuff. 

Second, this book made me cry. i can’t actually remember a book did that last. i’ve definitely felt strong emotions for books before, but i can’t specifically remember if i cried from them. 

it hit me hard, and it was worth it to push through the executive dysfunction and force myself to pick it up. 

that being said, i immediately started to draw a ton of sketching in classes of the helmet once i got the shape down from another piece of fanart from this, and so here they are! because i think i’ just a little too attached to these very sketchy doodles of helmets as potted plants. 

(these are in order of my camera roll) towards the end i forgot about dents and blood all together. hope you liked these at all!

#stuffed bird art #theminecraftbee #fanart #digital and doodles #long post under the cut #x's helmet #mumbo #mumbo probably planted it #i have a very specific idea for another fanart piece i'll do over the summer

[soleminisanction]

Justice for Jordanna Spence

I am well aware that I am one of maybe three people in the entire world who gives a damn about this character, but I've been mad about her for thirteen years and also I am currently sick and needed the outlet so just, let me have this.

This is Jordanna Spence.

Jordanna is a supporting character in the 2009 run of Batgirl written by Smallville writer Bryan Q. Miller and starring Stephanie Brown.

Specifically, Jordanna is part of the extremely half-assed attempt to give Stephanie a civilian life outside of being Batgirl, which is one of the most unbearable parts of the entire damn book because Stephanie spends literally all of these scenes whining and complaining about how much she hates pretending to be normal.

(This is an entirely other rant but for fuck's sake girl, if you don't want to go to college, just don't go. You came back from the dead something like last month, I don't think your mother is going to begrudge you a fucking gap year.)

Anyway. Jordanna is one of Stephanie's civilian classmates at the much-disparaged Gotham University, and she is also the primary reason why anyone claiming this book is feminist should be laughed out of the room.

TL;DR - Jordanna exists purely to be The Other Girl that Stephanie Isn't Like, so that Stephanie has someone to belittle, bully and slut-shame to show off how much better she is than Normal Women, who are dumb enough to enjoy things like sororities and wearing pink.

Don't believe me? I have receipts. I've placed them under the cut to save people's dashes, because this is going to be a long one.

We're first introduced to Jordanna in issue 2, during an incredibly forced expositional lecture that makes less sense the more you think about it, starting with the fact that it's explicitly listed as Philosophy 480 despite otherwise being written a required entry-level freshman seminar.

(400 level classes are pre-graduation courses for seniors, most often restricted to those on track to graduate with a major in the subject in question. 480 level classes are usually introductions to grad school. Even if the implication was supposed to be that Steph is genius who skipped a bunch of credits, a 400-level philosophy course wouldn't be covering basic morality like this in a huge lecture hall.

All of Stephanie's classes are numbered like this, it really goes to show how lazy Miller and his editors were being at the time. That and the blatant typo -- the place they're talking about is called Devil's Square.)

That's Jordanna in front, next to her asshole friend Xander Francisco and Stephanie herself. Now, I have had many people, including the (uck) Stephanie Brown wiki, insist to me that this moment is Stephanie "heroically standing up for Her Fellow Poors against Vapid Rich Bitch Jordanna."

And that’s clearly how the narrative wants us to take it too, as everyone stares like she’s said something Shocking and it’s framed with these captions that boil down to, “Ghasp! I am so very passionate and emotional about this! How embarrassing to show off how sincere and compassionate I am!”

But there's a few problems with that.

First of all, we never actually get any proof that Jordanna is rich. The most we ever get is one thing that she says in this issue, and the fact that she's in a sorority. A sorority at a shitty inner-city university that everyone from the students to the faculty badmouths for being a shithole every chance they get.

Second -- and this is something Miller himself desperately needed to hear -- Stephanie Brown is not fucking poor. She is, at worst, a middle-class white girl from the suburbs. The idea that she's poor comes from a mix of people desperately needing her to be an underdog, and cultural stereotypes deriving from the fact that her mother is a drug addict and her father is a criminal -- stereotypes which, of course, completely ignore the fact that plenty of criminals and drug addicts live in the suburbs too, especially when they're white.

Despite her name, Crystal Brown is not some meth-addicted crack head, she's a working nurse who got her doctor friends to write her scripts for opiates. And Arthur Brown isn't some run-of-the-mill crook, he's a supervillain who runs his own gang, never seems to need money for his elaborate schemes and, prior to turning to crime, was a minor celebrity who hosted a game show.

Stephanie is not fucking poor.

Third, and most pressing of all -- go back and actually read the dialogue in those panels. Ignore Steph's internal monologue and focus on what is actually being said.

See a problem?

Yeah. Stephanie's big "heart on her sleeve" moment is literally just saying exactly the same thing as Jordanna.

Keep in mind, the question being asked here is not, "Why don't people just move out of Flint, Michigan?" it's explicitly "Why do criminals keep returning to an area under martial law?"

Jordanna is completely right. Practically speaking, the criminals' choices in this situation are a) run to the war zone and be free or b) come back and go to jail, which isn't a choice at all. So Stephanie butting in here with her "bUt WHat iF tHeY dOn'T hAvE a CHoiCE?!" is just her taking the words out of Jordanna's mouth and then pretending she said something profound

And just to make everything worse, when Steph can't follow up on that argument, she makes this joke to "break the tension."

First time I read this, my jaw fucking dropped.

For anyone blissfully unaware, the American public school system ties its funding directly to local property taxes, resulting in schools from more prosperous neighborhoods being much better off than those in lower-class ones. And, due to centuries of systematic inequality through things like redlining and gentrification, those neighborhoods tend to be unofficially segregated between prosperous white neighborhoods and the less-prosperous... everyone else.

So, saying that you've moved to a certain location "for the schools" has pretty much always been a racist dog whistle, especially when you're talking to or about people of color.

This is as good a time as any to point out that Jordanna is Hispanic. We know this primarily because of her name, Francisco's name, and the fact that they're both consistently colored with the same hair color and skin tone, the latter a shade or two darker than our extremely white protagonist. Worse, later on we'll learn that Jordanna and Francisco have actual familial connections in the Devil's Square, while Stephanie explicitly does not.

Now to be clear, the writer absolutely did this on accident. I cannot imagine a world where they intended to make their bold, feminist hero low-key racist; hell, I'm pretty sure I'm more keyed into this than most white AFABs would be purely because of the specific racial tensions that populated the town where I grew up. But that's what they stumbled into by being careless.

So I, for one, tend to read this next panel as Jordanna being understandably insulted that this random white girl just tried to embarrass her for no reason, and then made a racist joke at her expense.

Even if you don't agree with that reading, at bare minimum Steph butted in to steal Jordanna's answer, basically just to get herself attention. I think Jordanna's upset is pretty reasonable either way.

We follow up with this on the next page, where we also get to see that Jordanna is dressed in ass-accentuating jeans and a tight pink crop-top. Nothing like Stephanie, who for some reason is dressed like she shops at an army surplus store.

We are then properly introduced to Francisco Garcia, Jordanna's friend and one of Steph's wannabe love interests. And let me say this unequivocally: Francisco is an asshole. Literally his first line of dialogue is to call his supposed friend a bitch, repeatedly, to impress a blonde he just met.

And later on he will just be, the biggest jerk to Jordanna while she's worrying about his safety and trying to look out for him when his dad gets him into a dangerous situation. Francisco is, of course, completely ungrateful for all of it because he's too busy trying to bang blondie.

We next see Jordanna two pages later at a Harvest Festival frat party, which Steph appears to be attending purely so she can stand around judging her classmates for taking an excuse to party.

Jordanna appears, highly intoxicated to a point to a point that would be deeply concerning even if she hadn’t been drugged, which it turns out she has.

Stephanie has zero sympathy, and neither does the writer, who portrays Jordanna as so vapid that she thinks/talks in textspeak. Which doesn’t even make sense. How did Steph hear how she was spelling things in her head?

This is our one and only indication that Jordanna is supposedly rich -- you know, like Cordelia from Buffy, which this series desperately wants to be -- and supposedly looks down on Steph for being poor. Again: Stephanie is not poor. She’s not even portrayed as poor in this comic. She just lives with her mom.

You’ll also notice that Steph changed clothes, while Jordanna is still in her unofficial uniform, which is drawn extra-low to show off her bikini line. This further accentuate how Stephanie is drawn to look normal while Jordanna is an over-sexualized slut. Note the unnaturally swayed hips, extra focus on her curves, and lack of underwear.

As previously mentioned, Jordanna has been roofied via spiked punch with a drug that we the readers know from previous exposition has killed some of its previous victims. And yet, despite this, I think she actually behaves more heroically than Steph here, because Jordanna seems to realize that this isn't the fun kind of spiked and immediately takes action to make sure no one else gets the same treatment she did.

She then collapses, and we don't see her again for the rest of this story arc.

Seriously. That's it.

Stephanie does absolutely nothing to help her. She gives this half-assed "somebody call 911!" shout and... that's it. That's the last we see of Jordanna for this plotline, because it's far more important for Stephanie to go chasing after the half-dozen guys who conveniently decide to run off at the perfect to make them look suspicious. For no reason.

You'll also notice that the very second she's no longer sharing a panel with One of those Other Girls, Stephanie's previously-normal sweater suddenly falls completely off her shoulders and gets vacuumed-sealed to her boobs to show off that she's not wearing a bra.

'Cause see, Stephanie has to still be sexy, because all of the named men in this comic (including Francisco, her ex, the fucking 10-year-old and, it's implied, her own goddamn father) want to fuck her. (All except for Commissioner Gordon, who is An Old and therefore sexless; and Dick Grayson, who wants to fuck Barbara). She just has to be sexy on accident because to do anything else would imply that she's like those Other Girls.

The whole free will philosophy bullshit culminates in the utterly nonsensical climax to this arc, in which Steph's bold statement for why she should get to be Batgirl boils down to, "I want it, I want it!" but I have gone off on enough tangents and we're here to talk about Jordanna.

---

Next time we see her is in Issue 5, where we learn that Steph has assumed -- based on absolutely nothing and in spite of Fransisco's blatant flirting with her -- that Jordanna and Francisco are dating. Steph shirks her part-time library job to eavesdrop on their conversation like a creep, learning that Francisco's father conveniently owned the flaming building she'd been fighting in during the first half of the issue.

Here, we get Jordanna's one canon redeeming character trait (not that it's ever acknowledged as such), in that she very much cares about this asshole friend of hers who, remember, called her a bitch "like all the time" in his first panel of dialogue.

It's also the first of many, many, many times when Steph will just luckily stumbling into the plot, which is literally the only reason they have her going to school in the first place: so she can Plot Convenience Playhouse her way into exactly the information she needs to find the story.

This happens every. single. arc.

This is also where it begins to be established that Jordanna and Francisco have familial ties in the Devil's Square. We'll later learn that Francisco's father has invested a lot of money into trying to fix the neighborhood up. From the way that Jordanna talks about the area, it's not too hard to figure that they might've grown up there until their parents got a lucky break and were able to move out, to "cut ties" as Jordanna says.

Jordanna is then understandably upset when she catches Steph eavesdropping.

Keep in mind, from Jordanna's perspective, her total interactions with this rando white girl have gone: - Stealing her argument - Racist joke - Giggling with Jordanna's so-called friend over what a bitch Jordanna is - Abandoning her at a party while Jordanna was drugged, unconscious and helpless - and now, eavesdropping on her private conversation.

So I, for one, would say that Jordanna has a damn good reason to not be fond of our "hero." Not that she's ever given that benefit of the doubt; so far as Steph and Francisco are concerned, she's "jealous."

Steph then proceeds to stick her nose where it’s not wanted and TL;DR Francisco gets kidnapped. Steph winds up with Damian tagging along for “we need to imply that even the 10-year-old wants to fuck her” reasons, and they decide to break into Jordanna’s room at her sorority house. 

This sequence is just fucking gross. 

Remember: Francisco is Jordanna’s friend. They’ve clearly known each other a long time, she’s familiar with his family and she obviously cares for him deeply. Stephanie supposedly thinks they’re dating. He has been kidnapped off the streets as part of a nonsensical betting plot, and Jordanna is visibly worrying about him as she comes in the door. She's been worried about him every appearance in this arc so far.

Steph, having broken into her dorm room like a creep, shows her no sympathy, calls her “self-absorbed” and opens the “interrogation” with the stated intent to terrorize her -- “let’s play bad cop and worse cop.” Her opening salvo against what she thinks is a scared girlfriend is to threaten to beat her. And if that doesn’t work, she threatens to let Damian stab her. 

But again, it’s portrayed as okay, because Jordanna is just, such a bitch you gaiz. 

Nonsensically, Jordanna -- who has zero connection to the whole evil supervillain betting game plot outside of her friendship with Francisco -- knows all about the secret betting website. And surprise surprise, this whole thing that Steph stumbled into completely on accident turns out to actually be a plot to lure Batman!Dick into a trap, so that Steph gets to rescue him and prove how wrong he was to ever call her "reckless" and doubt that she could be Batgirl.

We actually do get a resolution with Jordanna this time. Barely.

Some chucklefuck on either the DC wiki or (more likely) the Stephanie Brown wiki decided out of literally nowhere that these two panels mean that Francisco is gay and the nameless brown-haired dude he hugs there is "his boyfriend."

I hope I don't have to tell you how dumb that is. But it does kind of shine a light on how people who enjoy this comic are reading it. Francisco continues to blatantly flirt with Stephanie for the rest of the series.

---

From here, Jordanna is no longer directly involved with the plot, but she does turn up on occasion when the book remembers that Steph is supposed to maybe kinda-sorta give a damn about her civilian life.

In issue 10, we see her as part of one many, many nameless Gotham U student controlled by the Calculator in an attempt to get to Barbara.

This storyline is an anti-tech, anti-cell phone screed. Stephanie doesn't get mind controlled because she'd never waste her time with something as vapid and mindless as texting.

In issue 15, we learn that Steph has joined a study group with Jordanna and Francisco because..... the plot said so.

And we also learn here that Steph is one of those people who crap out on group projects, which isn't a surprise because, again, I cannot stress enough how much she does not actually want to be attending this school. She's just wasting everybody's time and a bunch of government assistance money so that she has something to complain about. And so the writer can randomly throw plot points at her and pretend that she has some kind of motivation beyond, "Tell me how good I am at punching people."

In the next issue, Jordanna has organized an anti-Batgirl protest on campus, blaming her for the murder of a student killed by a cult.

The comic, of course, tries to play this as Jordanna selfishly manipulating a tragedy to get her grades up. Grades that are down because, again, Stephanie crapped out on a group project.

I, however, will remind you that Batgirl broke into Jordanna's dorm room and threatened to beat and/or torture her for information on her kidnapped friend.

She didn't even rescue Francisco after that either, Francisco was allowed to just leave because... the plot said so. So yeah, Jordanna has damn good reason to dislike Stephanie and Batgirl. Assuming she doesn't know they're the same person, which I think she actually does, because Steph is barely even trying to hide her secret identity, and I don't think Jordanna is an idiot.

The very last time we see Jordanna is Issue 18, the nonsensical Valentine's issue where Steph just happens to stumble on the immortal witch-child Klarion and manage to charm him because, again, all the men are there to be her boytoys, even the one who magically prevents himself from hitting puberty for all eternity.

Oh and also, so we can get this delightful exchange.

In which the artistic slut-shaming is made verbal.

Notice how Jordanna and her "slutty" friends aren't allowed to show their whole faces (save for one panel where they're too small to have any individual detail), with the emphasis being on their T&A and painted, sultry lips, while Stephanie is once again dressing like a boy and always allowed to be completely in the frame.

And the last-ever mention we get of Jordanna Spence is the implication that Klarion has turned her into a frog as punishment for being slutty and unlikable.

And that's it. That's every single appearance of Jordanna Spence.

This post has been going on long enough so I'm not going to drag on the conclusion in an attempt to be academic. I subscribe to the school of thought that a feminist work can't be defined by its heroine alone, it also has to engage with the women around her like they're also three-dimension characters with their own inner lives and struggles.

Batgirl (2009) fails that standard at every single turn. The only woman it cares about -- hell, the only person it cares about -- is Stephanie herself. And, despite what some people will tell you, that's not "typical" of even solo books like this one. We know this because Stephanie wouldn't even exist if the writers on Tim Drake's run as Robin didn't treat his supporting cast like they were real people with real lives, in which Tim was only a part.

Jordanna Spence was a causality of that. She exists entirely so that Stephanie has someone to look down on, to be better, and to treat with casual disdain. She is, in short, a tool whose only purpose is to make Stephanie look good. The other women in this comic all get similar treatment. Even Barbara. Even Supergirl. Especially Cass Cain.

Jordanna deserves better. They all do.

#stephanie brown critical #jordanna spece did nothing wrong #batgirl 2009 #bagirl 2009 critical #sexism #girl hate #jordanna spence #dc comics #meta #long post under the cut #god I hope these pictures work out because if they don't I'm going to cry #comic books meta #superhero comics #batgirl #dcu #the spoiler

[fcllxn-stcr]

//I have to say, out off all fandoms I've rp'd in so far, this is probably the most welcoming one. 🥹

All in all, you actually have my husband to thank for getting me into the game in the first place. Because I was super reluctant to begin with because I haven't done anything DnD related in years (my attention span is not what it used to be). After a few gentle nudges, I finally bit and went for it.

In the beginning, my husband was always like, 'Don't use Astarion, he's bad," which only made me want to even more. *insert evil laugh here*

And man, did I fall hard for him. Somehow my husband figured it out immediately and gives me a hard time about it. 'Have fun with your vampire boyfriend!' he says with the biggest shit eating grin. Also doesn't help that he points out that I turn red every time he does this.

I'll also say, this has helped me through some rather unsettled times stemming back beginning in November. (I'll detail under the cut because personal stuff and possible triggers. And it's long and I'm not gonna force anyone to read into it if they don't want)

But somehow, out of it stemmed my muse for Astarion. I had told myself that Kojiro would probably be my last muse, but clearly that wasn't the case and I'm glad! :3

First I lost one of my long time cats and friend, Padme. Despite all the pain, I was able to find comfort in that she was no longer suffering.

Then it's suddenly brought to my attention, almost nearly twenty years after I lost her, my mother has some sort of retirement plan that I was never informed of and it was bestowed upon me to handle it, of course (everything had to be probated because both her and my step dad passed at the same time. And my step dad and a son and daughter). Being as long as it has been, I had the absolute worst time getting things verified and trying to find a bank that would work with me. After three failed tries, I was only able to find one because of... her connections as a cop... That's all I'm gonna say. Bottom line is it's done and finally taken care of, for the most part...

Finally, I had a bombshell dropped on me that my grandmother on my dad's side (who is the only actual parent I have left) suddenly fell ill and was hospitalized. He called me to inform me the first time and then again the next day that she took a turn for the worse.

He handled this by traveling down from northeast Oklahoma down to far southern Texas to see her... With my step mom, step sister and her daughter in law. I found out about this offhandedly through Facebook, posted by the daughter in law and Tagging everyone. I was never personally informed they were doing this. Not only that, that same evening my grandmother passed.

I learned about that part the next day... On Facebook. My dad didn't even call me until about a couple hours after it was posted. And acted like nothing was wrong with it. Including the step sister and her daughter in law. (And its honestly not the first time they've all done something like this to me)

For two days throughout this ordeal, I had to leave work early twice. Once because I lost it and couldn't stop crying, the next because I was so angry that I almost felt feverish.

All of made me realize where I truly stood in my dad's life. He has his wife, my step sister, and has grandkids and even great grandkids through her. His ideal family. Anymore, I'm only an afterthought. I find out about all of their family functions on Facebook and only hear from him on some holidays and birthdays.

I don't know if it's because I had a different mother and am half indigenous and look too much like her. I'm married but don't want kids. My views are a complete 180 from when I associated more with them. Or my step mom's influence (which could be considered abusive to me at times, let alone racist)... I don't know, but only recently have I realized that I actually lost him a long time ago. He's also not in the best of health, but at least he has a family who's willing to give him what he wants, I guess.

I've tried. I really have, but I'm the only one putting forth the effort. And I just can't anymore.

My husband and our two good friends have been my family. And my only source of salvation throughout all this. Letting go is damned difficult for me because I'm still struggling with it. And I may never truly be able to do it, but I'm in no way alone. And for that I'm incredibly thankful.

#ooc || Zorra Lynn speaks #family death mention cw #abuse mention cw #family loss cw #long post under the cut #personal issues cw

[alynnl]

My Objection. (Ace Attorney: Justice for All Ramble)

What I’m about to say is my opinion based off my gaming experience in Ace Attorney. My very biased opinion ahead.

So I have seen one opinion that have been shared by a great deal of the Ace Attorney fandom that I respectfully disagree with.

“Justice for All is one of the worst and/or weakest entries into the series.”

I have been around the internet enough to know that a great deal of the fandom doesn’t like this game as much as the others.  However, I see its value as a bridge between Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations.  And I also see the overarching themes Justice for All was going for, and acknowledge the efforts to try and show it.

It’s about grief.

Phoenix Wright experiences the apparent loss of his dearest friend Miles Edgeworth and he struggles to cope with it, being unable to even speak his name.  Maya Fey learns that her aunt Morgan was behind a conspiracy to frame her for murder and that her innocent little cousin, Pearl is the only living family she has left.  Franziska von Karma takes out her anger on Phoenix in the courtroom, finding no other way to cope with the empty void left behind by her father Manfred and adopted brother Miles than to secure an absolute victory.  Mimi Miney, Acro and Adrian Andrews all go to extremes (committing or planning to commit crimes) because they lost someone near and dear to their hearts.

It's about purpose.

Phoenix has to really think about who he is, what he's doing with his life, and why when his resolve is tested. Edgeworth states with his words and actions why he stands in the courtroom after a whole year of being absent. Franziska has to rethink her own life in the ending scenes, when she's clearly shown that there is no such thing as a flawless trial. Detective Gumshoe chooses to keep investigating the final case despite (temporarily) losing his job because that's what he feels is right.

It’s about loyalty and trust.

Gumshoe is willing to help Phoenix and Maya on all their investigations, despite being on the prosecution’s side.  Maya trusts Phoenix both times she ends up in trouble. Phoenix trusts the advice of his mentor, Mia as she speaks through Maya and Pearl.  It’s a small moment, but Gumshoe is the first person Edgeworth speaks to, letting the detective know he’s alive and he’s been watching the events that play out in court from a distance.  There’s a major moment where Phoenix meets Edgeworth outside the courtroom, and they cooperate inside of court to make the trial as long as possible to help Maya when she’s taken hostage. Even Franziska comes through for Phoenix and Edgeworth when all seems lost, and they trust that she has brought important evidence to court to truly turn the trial around.

With themes like these (and possibly others I may have overlooked, as I am going completely by memory), I can say that Justice for All is a solid entry in the Ace Attorney series. It shows character and relationship development that was interesting and made sense for the situations the cast was faced with. It was a great story to follow in my first play through of it, and I'm actually curious to see how well it holds up in a later replay where I know all the plot twists.

If you read this far, thank you for hearing me out. What was about to be a rant of fiery passion turned into my gushing about just one part of my newest gaming obsession. I will probably have many more thoughts going forward, since Ace Attorney's writing lends itself to that so well!

#Ace Attorney #Ace Attorney: Justice for All #Lynn speaks #Lynn plays video games #I value storytelling as a storyteller myself #and I see the value of JfA #I had this rattling in my brain for a while #long post under the cut