#one did significantly more horrific shit

[righteousfuryand6cansofmonster]

The only bad thing the pIRA ever did was leave thatcher alive

#mostly joking. provos werent angels #still think that unethical action in defense of the homeland is morally superior to unethical action in defense of a oppressive reigime #also fuck ANYONE who puts loyalist atrocities on par with ira ones #both did bad shit #one did significantly more horrific shit #and like. doing awful shit in an extra-legal paramilitary group is bad #but doing so under the full support of a beurocratic entitly is leauges more chilling

[sphireath-wisp]

#One, Two, Three, Kiss!

Sypnosis: You get put on a kiss cam with another person while watching their game live. How do they react?

Part 1: Yoichi Isagi, Micheal Kaiser, Chigiri Hyoma, Mikage Reo

Warnings: Jealousy, not proofread, the reader goes on the kiss cam with both girls and guys, short, cursing, a little suggestive depending on how dirty your mind is

Featuring: Shoei Barou (@randomnumber20, @ariachaos), Ryusei Shidou, Sae Itoshi, Rin Itoshix GN! reader

Shoei Barou

You shifted closer to your armrest, away from the guy next to you to highlight your reluctance. It felt more than just sickening - the cheers from the audience to go through with it, the shockwaves sent through your body when you felt a hand caress your forearm. You wished it was anyone other than the guy in the kiss cam with you, his touch disgustingly gentle.

Your feeling didn't last long though as you noticed the guy's grip on you loosen significantly, his fingers trembling against your skin. It felt like there was a sudden chill all of sudden. He gulped, eyes locked onto whatever or whoever was behind you, towering over the both of you.

"Babe!" You cheer with a smile, your shoulders dropping and a sigh of relief escaping you. Barou's glare melted away at the sight of you, placing a reassuring pat on your shoulder - though, it didn't take a genius to sense the anger seething out of him. "I'll win the game for you later, go grab some snacks for yourself first, I'll pay."

You felt Barou place a cap on your head, pushing the peak of the cap down so you wouldn't be able to see the horrific scene in front of you. You could hear a yelp and, from the corner of your eye, you spotted blood. For a moment, you felt pity for the guy, but that quickly dissipated.

Ryusei Shidou

Being in a relationship with Shidou was like adopting a clingy, violent, rabid dog from the street. Did you love him? Absolutely, without a doubt. Did you question why you loved him every moment of the day? Hell fucking yeah. Every time he scored, he would stare in your direction and give you the biggest shit-eating grin ever. Having front-row seats only made it easier to hear him ramble and boast. Though, it did make you feel content to see him so motivated.

Oh boy, did that all change when the realization dawned on you - you were on a kiss cam with the person next to you. The gaudy effects and filters on the screen, the hearts littered across the panel of you and that poor person, you could feel a migraine kicking in as you imagined the scene Shidou would stir up.

A hand wrapped around your waist, yanking you away from the person. "Shidou, don't do anything stupid." You attempted to bring him back to his (nonexistent) senses, though it was in vain. He was already cracking his knuckles, a hand holding the collar of their shirt and his other hand balled into a fist.

Desperate times call for desperate measures - you try to reassure yourself as you pinch his earlobe and pull him close to you. You lower your voice to a whisper, a little flustered as you part your lips. "Score 10 more goals and win the match, then I'll spend the night with you."

Without a single atom of hesitation in his body, he let go of the person's collar - practically forgetting about their existence. Shidou's hands are on your waist, pressing kisses all over your face, his giggling paired with a dopey smile. "10 more goals and I'll have the best night of my life? You've got yourself a deal."

Sae Itoshi

This man is completely absorbed in his match, he couldn't care less or so he believed. However, that unpleasant, irked expression on his face when he saw you on the screen with another girl said otherwise. He could control himself, of course, hands tucked comfortably into his pocket to hide his clenched fists, fingernails digging into the flesh of his palm, eyes lingering on the screen for a bit too long.

You make eye contact with the girl next to you and he notices it, his jaw clenching and his body tensing up. You talk to her for a moment shaking your head firmly right after. "I have a boyfriend."

His lips part and his shoulders drop, chin dipping down. The camera pans elsewhere and he scans the audience to find you, fishing his phone out from his pocket. You feel your phone buzz in your hand, instinctively checking it to see Sae message you.

"Don't scare me like that again."

He could see his favorite, oh-so-charming grin on your face, as you rested your chin on your palm. As your fingers gently tap against your phone screen, his gaze alternates between you and his phone screen. "Yessir <3"

He chuckles softly. "I'll treat you to something special after the game, be ready"

Rin Itoshi

He clicked his tongue when he saw you on the screen. Rin was already pissed with how the match was going, but seeing you on that idiotic kiss cam - not to mention, during the break from the match -only soured his rotten mood even more. His eyes narrow, the already secure grip he had on his phone hardening.

"Switch seats" You glanced at your phone, reading the message Rin sent. "Make sure that idiot doesn't try anything."

You smirk. The camera must have caught it because Rin immediately replied back, "What's with that smile?" Your hands lay on the armrests of your chair. Instead of moving like you were advised - no, instructed to, you melt deeper into the chair, really getting yourself comfortable.

"What are you trying?" He texts with one hand and the both of you hear the emcee announce that the game is starting where it originally left off.

You noticed his game has been a little off and while you weren't sure if it was nerves or the fact that you were watching, you wanted to provide your beloved boyfriend a boost of motivation. Crossing your legs, you text Rin after skimming through the messages he spammed you. "If you don't want this guy to try anything, you better wrap this match up quickly, good luck Rinrin <3"

Tucking your phone away, you stare as Rin dashes out first. He shoots you a glare paired with a smirk and an incredulous scoff. You check your phone for one last time to prepare yourself for an exhilarating match, humming to yourself as you notice a new message from Rin.

"You better keep your eyes on me, during the match and tonight as well"

#blue lock x reader #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #blue lock #bllk #shoei barou x reader #barou x reader #barou x you #barou x y/n #blue lock barou #shidou ryusei x reader #ryusei shidou x reader #shidou x reader #shidou x you #shidou x y/n #itoshi sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #sae x you #sae x reader #sae x y/n #itoshi rin x reader #rin x y/n #rin x you #rin x reader #itoshi rin x y/n

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Hi! I’m sorry if this is dumb but I’m not understanding why the Ed hate is racist? From what I’ve seen it has nothing to do with his race, just his actions? What is racist about it? I’m asking this very genuinely because I want to understand and learn more from this so please don’t take this as being annoying or patronizing or something!

ok so not all Ed hate falls under the racism catagory some people just have genuinely bad taste. The thing that is racist is insisting that he's an abuser. I've explained several times why he's not abusive, as have many many others. But, here's the quick recap: Izzy was abusing him, Ed has a history of lashing out towards his abusers with physical violence and Izzy established that he had been doing this sort of thing to Ed for years so you know, he's going the way of Ed's father and nobody would argue that Ed was abusing his father. Ed wasn't abusive towards the crew. Like he did some shitty things while suicidal. He hurt his friends I'm not saying he didn't. However: 1. This show is full of very very over the top violence and no one is getting up Button's ass about Lucius's finger. 2. It would be an incredibly strange move for a rom com to make one of it's leads a domestic abuser, It's not such a weird move to give a character in a rom com a suicidal arc where they push all their friends away. The first choice would yeild a completely unwatchable show the second is what happened in ofmd. 3. David Jenkins himself has talked about this and he said "What Blackbeard did was by the standards of the pirate world a bit much" I don't know if I even agree with this considering everything we've heard about Hornigold but I certainly agree with the sentiment that Ed did some shitty things but nothing that was significantly more horrific than other characters in the show who nobody treats the way they treat Ed.

So with all of that in mind: Why is it racist to call him an abuser. Like sure, all of this adds up to the abuse truthers being wrong and stupid but what does it have to do with Ed's skin color? This ties into the history that the Maori people share with a lot of indigenous groups who were colonized by europeans. I would encourage you to do more research on your own but I'll point you in the generally right direction. Indigenous men are portrayed as hyper violent in order to justify their subjugation (see head hunters stereotypes or how often people assume indigenous cultures were doing human sacrifice). A lot of the Ed hate exaggerates how violent he is in comparison to other characters. Indigenous men are portrayed as dirty and barbaric and in need of being civilized by a benevolent white savior. A lot of fic and meta positions either Stede or Izzy as needing to save Ed from himself, or as needing to babysit him or teach him to read or bathe, ect. That's why people are so up in arms about the soap eating joke.

And finally the abuse thing. Positioning indigenous men as abusers has been used historically as a shoddy justification for family separation. This stereotype pairs incredibly well with the violent stereotype. So IF Ed was abusing poor defenseless little white Izzy it would actually be a racist decision for the writers to make. Like there's a way to portray characters of color doing abuse, because being nonwhite doesn't make you incapable of doing shitty things, but that would not be it. Thankfully that is catagorically not what's happening, we've been told that the Kraken is an abuse responce, Izzy provokes the Kraken, we've seen Izzy be paralelled with Ed's two other abusers (Hornigold and Ed's dad), we've been shown Izzy controlling the flow of information between Ed and his crew, we've been showing Izzy manipulating Ed, we've been shown him lying to turn the crew against Ed, we've been shown Izzy attempting to murder someone Ed cares about specifically because Ed cares about them, we've seen Izzy threaten Ed's life for acting wrong, we've heard Izzy confess to doing all of that shit FOR YEARS on his death bed (a time which it would completely undercut the emotional impact of the scene if he was lying). So like... people ignoring all of that shit in order to portray Ed as shooting off his leg for no fucking reason and say he's the abuser is very... "You forgot the racism don't worry we'll add it back in for you" and continuing to insist on that and be shitty to people who won't cop to your dumbass shit is actively making the fandom a more racist space.

#ofmd meta #fandom racism

[nerdylilpeebee]

the skin whiteners shows that racist beauty standards that favor whiteness or paleness are still horrifically common even amoung POC. There are fucking sweatshops all over the global south all run by western companies and like a shit ton on "convenient" produce (bananas, coffee, sugar) come from modern plantations. also what do you mean by corporate greed =/= capitalism, like thats the driving force behind our current system. Again the hawai'i tourism relates to colonialism, again. Im talking about Nonblack artists piggybacking off of black mediums to get rich. Also the apartheid thing kind of makes me think that the genocide you are talking about (and just seems to be farm attacks) is using scare language. Genocide implies a government hand. I dunno, the alt right seems to have power because of the JAN 6 RIOT, Y'KNOW THE THING THAT HAPPENED 3 YEARS AGO REMEMBER THAT? AND LIKE, THE LEGALIZED SEXUAL DISCRIMINATION? Yes poor white neighborhoods are also overpoliced but thats Whataboutism, you are changing the subject

also TBH, I think that the worldview that proudly proclaims that everything is just fineeeee and that no systemic racism existssss everrrrrrr is significantly and vastly more black and white than one where it does.

Okay, but THAT'S NOT OPPRESSION. Poc adopting "racist beauty standards" is not white people oppressing poc. It's not racist oppression.

Sweatshops are absolutely fucked up and stupid, but they are not racially motivated and do not mean poc elsewhere are oppressed. That is a corporate greed thing, not a racism thing.

Corporate greed is not capitalism. Capitalism as a system is all about free trade. What you are thinking of is corporatism, Hun.

Colonialism. Right. Cuz Hawaii's government favoring tourism for it's economy totally means poc are oppressed by white people, even ones that don't live in Hawaii, a non-white majority state.

"black mediums." What black mediums..name them and then how that's racist. This is a free country, and if those mediums do not have rules banning white users they are not black mediums and do not have a right to cry racism if non-blacks use them, let alone try to blame it on white people if non-blacks "get rich" on them.

Sure, Hun, cuz killing people en mass because of their race isn't genocide if they're white. We get it you're a racist.

And honey, sweetie pie, the Jan 6 RIOT? where there were no casualties on the side of the cops caused by the "rioters" but casualties on the "rioters" side? That's fucking funny given the summer of riots BLM performed with the government not even trying to stop them, black people blatantly supporting the riots, claiming it was their right to burn shit down and it was racist to oppose the riots or even defend yourself from rioters cuz "property doesn't matter over black lives. UwU". You wanna call Jan 6 a riot when they didn't even destroy property, I'm so fucking done. What's even more fucking funny is that there is no legalized sexual discrimination. That is not a thing.

And no, that's not whataboutism, you listed black neighborhoods being overpoliced as a form of oppression black people face. I pointed out white people face it too, meaning it is not racially motivated, ergo cannot be racist oppression, ergo cannot be racism even by your shitty definition. And I never changed the subject. I was literally on fucking subject, you just don't like me proving that what you listed is not racism.

And that's funniest fucking thing you've said so far.

Motherfucker, WHERE DID I SAY SYSTEMIC RACISM DOESN'T EXIST??? You wanna claim I'm changing the subject while you're putting words in my mouth. Systemic racism does exist, but really only the conviction rates you listed was systemic racism, and oh guess fucking what? Even in America white people face systemic racism too (legalized discrimination in hiring processes, for example, being the majority of police violence victims, being able to be murdered with clear racial motivations without it being labeled a racist hate crime, etc), and systemic racism existing does not mean you cannot be racist to white people.

Again, you are just mad that I am not agreeing with you. I never changed the subject, I never said systemic racism doesn't exist, I just don't follow your nonsensical "power plus privilege" view on the matter (which in itself doesn't make sense as the vast majority of white people hold no more power or privilege than any poc, and there are poc with far more power AND privilege than the average white person).

#tvp discourse #long post #racism

[oopsallfictives]

I feel like sysmedicalism gets boiled down to just being anti-endo, and that's not really even the core of their beliefs. That's definitely a big part of it, but it's more of a side effect of their core beliefs. Those beliefs are:

Plurality only exists in the context of DID and similar disorders

Those disorders only ever happen as the result of trauma

Both the above points have been scientifically proven

Psychiatrists who study/treat DID, as well as the ISSTD, are more trustworthy than anyone claiming their personal experiences fall outside of what they believe "real DID" looks like

The only one of those that even might be true is the second, but I have no idea if it is or not, and it would be irresponsible to make the claim that it is without proof (correlation isn't proof, that's literally the first lesson in statistics). But what I want to focus on is the last point, because I think it explains everything else

People with DID/OSDD/etc have pretty much always been fighting an uphill battle against the general public's disbelief. This worsened significantly in the 90s. DID (then called MPD) got swept up into the Satanic Panic, and when aspects of that were disproven, everything else that got lumped in with it was assumed to be equally false. On top of that, there was a high-profile lawsuit against Bennett Braun (psychiatrist and founding member of the ISSTD) that alleged some pretty horrific abuse against a woman who claimed she was misdiagnosed and never had MPD/DID in the first place

This split the discourse. Some people condemned Braun and his associates for their treatment of their patients, and claimed that MPD/DID was made up. This is why the name was changed to DID, btw. The chair of the DSM-IV task force didn't believe it was real. On the other side of things, there were people who believed it was real, and therefore assumed everything being said about Braun and others was made up. There were some people, like those who were abused as "treatment" for MPD/DID, who believed that both plurality and the abuse were real, but they were largely ignored or silenced

Nowadays the issue is mostly simplified into "is DID real or not?". However, the idea that criticizing the ISSTD/psychiatrists who treat DID is the same as siding with the people who don't believe in it lingers. For many people newly diagnosed or discovering the online community and their place in it for the first time, these clinicians seem to be the only ones who believe their experiences are real. On top of that, there's a societal belief that being a doctor gives someone the authority to speak on medical issues in a way that being a patient doesn't. This goes doubly for anything mental health related. So these systems latch onto the ISSTD/psychiatrists and uncritically buy into everything they say (or what a game of twitter discourse telephone claims they say), even if it doesn't make sense, or if the proof just isn't there

So when they lash out at endogenic systems, or systems who claim to be people instead of parts, or any system that doesn't fit their idea of "real DID', it's because they see us as threats to their legitimacy. They think we can only be taken seriously if we go along with what the ISSTD claims. But this community has decades worth of very real reasons not to trust the psychiatrists making those claims

If you're a system whose beliefs align with the bullet points above, and you're starting to doubt the ISSTD (or even just some individual psychiatrists) because of the McLean video, take some time to look a little deeper. Look up what Bennett Braun got sued for malpractice for at least 11 times over (but be prepared, it will be triggering, it's some fucked up shit). Look up other prominent psychiatrists in this area, see how many of them have had accusations of abuse leveled against them. Try this video on Onno van der Hart, the primary contributer to the ToSD as it applies to DID (TW psychiatric abuse). And if you're starting to realize that perhaps they can't be trusted to be correct about everything, maybe it's time to consider what else they've said that's wrong

-Oliver (he/him)

P.S. If you're a dick on this post you'll be blocked on sight

#the quicksilvers say #syscourse tw #plurality #no seriously we wont debate you on this just leave us alone #but if you have genuine good faith questions thats fine

[factorialsotherfandoms]

its 6am and I'm complaining myself through the ending of purgatory k? This is just the bitching not a full balanced analysis, bits I genuinely enjoyed are missing so it looks like I have a worse opinion than I did, its below a cut because a lot of people don't want that and that's absolutely good. I'm just processing through.

I think purgatory ending feels bad because we were promised by the way it was advertised and treated the end of the arc, and what we got was another fucking mid point instead. A mid point which after this going on for so long nobody really wanted. Setting up new project cool! But it felt miserable to watch the end. Probably could have been helped if the CCs had more info on a meta level - just the timescales and that this wasn't actually the end of the arc - so they could pace themselves and us better. The eggs missing has gone on for far too long, we've been given far too little to work with, and it's just not fun viewing any more. Which is why my engagement is so dependent on the next little while.

That, plus getting to the boat on foot was impossible without near perfection - something they were never going to all have. I like giving qMaxo his big sendoff with the nuke which solves nothing! But people who were legitimately trying to escape (Cellbit, Tina, off the top of my head - Cellbit just legit got lost in the underground. He said after he decided to stay but like... really? We'll have to wait and see next time he plays qsmp. If nothing else he legit had shit to do planned, and I feel like he would discuss it more with Roier if he was going to perma-kill Cellbit as that's massive to put on someone else's character. Pretty sure ccCellbit was just teasing like he fucking does but we'll see. Also changes what Maxo did if any of them die to it /significantly/. I'll be genuinely worried for ccMaxo if his characters actually pretty neat death arc resulted in a fan favourite character permadying in a game without permadeath) should have had a legit chance to do so. If they were supposed to be able to. I really hope the admins smooth that bit over one way or another, because it just made shit feel extremely bad. Kinda expect the /actual/ ruling to be if one person made it they all did, but dear god they needed to tell the players that immediately after or whatever if so. Failing that you could maybe have the others in the Nether or something, but youd need to coordinate everyone who didn't make it and that'd just suck logistically. The sensible answer is if one person got there they all did because this isn't a high legality sort of game. For players.

Like the other eggs were probably kidnapped by something and reported out? And I'm betting on black concrete plot as that's the plot actually associated with them disappearing in the first place, but for all it's cool moments up until then it just... dropped the ball. Tbh the entire thing with the eggs being involved was a massive ball drop which lead to /one/ cool conversation but otherwise just made everything infinitely less enjoyable.

Poor BBH. Like cc wise. He's one of a whole lot of them who have horrific rp safety practices, but also there's not really anyone to teach them that and that's nothing to punish someone for. Hope it gets hashed out with him. All of them but especially him.

Having players of another project as "advertising" for a new project without them knowing more in advance tastes kinda shitty. Very shitty. We'll see how tied it ends up being but that's just not comfy.

Quackity saying about big stuff planned is absolute ass. Like legitimately and out of character the CCs genuinely need a break for a bit you can't just throw them back into heavy stuff immediately. They need space to breath oc and find their footing ic. Most of them have streamed far more than usual this fortnight, and even for those who do stream daily usually it's been intense. You can say if its hurting them they can just take a break but you cannot convince me they can when their literal irl incomes depend on this. Some more than others, but they do.

Also like the tension just genuinely doesn't hold that long. Most of what I run is combat heavy fantasy events, but I've done horror too. And a big bit of running horror events is studying how pacing and tension works, especially over an extended period (horror events locally tend to be multi-day). You /can/ change the usual layout, but you have to know your fucking shit and be really careful if you do, and the admins and Quackity just don't seem to - as a collective whole, some individuals may - have the experience necessary to fuck with the formula. Like. I'm burnt out, the players are ooc burnt out, the fandom generally seems burnt out - not giving the players a win here was already a mistake, but the tension /has/ snapped. Too many people are too burnt out from playing more than usual and all that, under very high stakes circumstances, for very little reward. There needs to be a break where players who do other stuff can play other stuff and players who don't can take the time to find their footing again. Tension levels are not sustainable and they broke them open. If they hadn't revealed the eggs you could have stretched it another few days, but they did. At which point losing the eggs again is genuinely so fucking unsatisfying. They could have only been shown the winning egg. Like sure fuck with people, that's what's going on IC and OC maybe it was supposed to be reassurance, but it just ended up feeling ghoulish. It was so obviously playing on feelings it just fell flat for me. Not even the fun playing with feelings, just a fuck you.

Also communication has been fucking atrocious. Yes keep twists in the bag, I can see arguments for all plot points, but the players needed to know the timescale, the fact it was a PvP not a lore event, and that this wasn't the end of the eggs missing arc rather an interlude waaaaaaaaaaay earlier. Like they found out as these things became obvious, but given the time commitment it demanded they needed to know like weeks before it started. As soon as it was announced. We can tall all we like about trusting the admins, but the admins have got to fucking trust their players to still make good viewing times even if not everything is a complete surprise. It fucked over Cellbit and Roier and their murder plot planning, it fucked over a lot of people ooc and their streaming schedules and their ability to do actual life things. Forever when given the Judas plot should have been told in advance when it would be activatable. The players - not the characters or the audience, the players - should have known it was 15 days, PvP, only 1 egg was on the cards for now, that the chance to save the others will come later (I have no doubt it will), and that they would need to escape fast at the end. Not the why, not the how, not the plot, but you need to know the fucking stakes.

Like okay let's look at shit I run a sec. Its nor perfect, but we've been building on a 20+ year tradition of larp in the same place and learning from what does and doesnt work. Info players have in advance:

date and time. for things run for and at the university, dates generally are announced start of the year, and which system will be which day is the start of every term. For events for the uni but at an unusual place or time (often an IC dinner party or similar), 3 weeks in advance. For stuff not associated with the university (I help with fewer of these, as far fewer happen and theyte the ones i can still play with my disability)... well, they tend to be multi day in a hired venue and players pay a lot of money to be there, so its usually about a year and a half in advance. The stuff below about pitches are for saturday ones - paid for multi day events all that info is announced at least a year in advance, and for single day non-university ones at least 6 months. But like qsmp is a constantly running thing so the university stuff is a fairer comparison.

Every event has a "pitch". This goes up the Tuesday before for Saturday events - theres a couple of different teams running different genres but same place same time theres a larp every termtime saturday just 9/30 are run by my team. The pitch will contain the information the characters know going into a mission or social or whatever. If theres a twist the twist isn't mentioned, ofc, just the initial setup. Then, there's an out of character section, with stuff like date and time and reminders to weather weather appropriate clothing and sturdy shoes.

If the event is /not/ in the format players expect, in the out of character info including things like the time, we say that. We run combat heavy stuff. If it's purely social, we say so. If it'll be more Freeform than usual, we say so. If the party is getting split we - you guessed it - say so.

Our events have different levels of IC rewards. The basic reward can always be assumed (3 gold, iirc). Theres also 4 and 5 gold days. If its not 3 gold, it says so in the pitch, and players know this is a difficulty rstinf system. 3 is normal, 4 is "this is designed to be challenging for late end high xp characters and is likely to kill lower levels", 5 is "we are actively trying to kill someone". Death is always an option, but the ref team don't usually want it.

Sometimes there are RP rewards too. These are not explicately stated, but are alluded to "you will be paid so long as you eliminate the monster. If you capture it and deliver it to the university, however, the chancellor promises an extra something for you" sort of thing. "The Dowager Duchess is well known for rewarding those in her favour. Impress her, and she may do the same for you".

If there's distressing content that isn't covered by genre and game style, we include a warning. Last time was "this session will include horror elements. A list of content warnings is available from any ref on request", and we DMed players we knew have triggers on that list the same day pitch went out to liase with them. Yes even when the trigger is a plot twist or a spoiler because fuck you player safety will always be most important. One which had content warnings but was not horror "this session contains potentially distressing material. A list of content warnings is available from any ref on request".

And like... call me naive but this is the sort of info the players should have? In advance they should have a summary (yes it's also given IC at the start of the event, but it means they can prep properly), dates and times well in advance (so they can prep their lives and other projects), expected rewards (even if vague), and any particularly common triggers (like say a third party intentionally sewing paranoia and fucking with mental health of characters) should have a "theres triggers here please put a message in your help channel for a list". I'd say also some indicator of where on a plot arc something falls.

We dont give this because our pacing plot arc wise is determined by how we run them. Paid events are all always one offs (I run them with a different group of people but same circle) - except when they aren't in which case this is made clear at the pitching stage- and uni ones its dictated by the university schedule - we run nine main events a year, 3 each term. There's a small climax last linear of every term, and a major one at the end of a year. Yearly arcplots do not always exist but when they do they end with the last linear of term. There are some other plots brewing over longer periods - when those come to a head, they will become the main plot for a year and their climaxes run on yearly arcplot rules. It is never the case that all sessions in a year are arcplot related, to give players not interested in a specific thing something to do.

Other things they could probably do with include a safe word and establishing a way for an admin to indicate a fuck up due to glitch or mistake - probably an "ignore me" emote only admins have access to.

This all being said - the admin team want people to have fun and for it to go well, and the medium is much younger than traditional LARP. Information for their specific media does not exist, and while they maybe should look at rp for ideas they probably look at tabletop and don't even consider LARP - let alone larp styles more common in Europe. I can say things all I want, but I'm just a guy over here. The admins are trying their best and do want the best for their players, and will have a plan. It's just infuriating sometimes.

#fandom neg #qsmp neg

[the-final-sif]

Idk if you were here for all this but before, when bad accusations happened with other mcyters (cmc, skydoesminecraft, etc), they were like, shunned completely it seems like, cut off from the community. Do you think this thing with Dream different because of the ambiguity of the situation?

I mean, let's be clear, the allegations against Callmecarson and Skydoesminecraft were completely different from the allegations against Dream on basically every level. I mean, I would put the three of them each in completely separate categories. Skydoesminecraft did genuinely horrific shit, Callmecarson fucked up pretty badly and needs some major self improvement, and Dream may or may not have even done something wrong. Content warning for discussion of abuse and rape, because I think it's worth understanding what both other people did in order to have this sort of talk.

Skydoesminecraft did some truly horrific shit. The primary victim of that situation was their partner Elizabeth, including violently abusing her, forcing her into a pregnancy, driving her into debt, threatened to murder her and their friends, and so much other shit. This abuse was witnessed and attested to by their friends/roommates, and very clearly documented. Elizabeth was known as their partner, and incredibly detailed documentation of what went on, as well as lots of witnesses to what happened, and actual police reports among other things.

That's why her allegations carried so much weight. She had a mountain of evidence, and the accusations were incredibly serious. That was what caused the clear and quick reaction where cc condemned and cut off Sky. Hell, a number of the ccs closer to Sky had been abused by them as well. This was the expected outcome there.

Callmecarson is a more complicated case. Admittedly, I never watched him and I'm not entirely up to speed on the full details of what went on. However, from the research I've been able to do, it sounds like he had a difficult history with making poor choices regarding relationships. As best I can tell, the words "pedophilia" and "grooming" got thrown around, when in reality it the girl involved was 17 when Carson was 19/20 and neither of the words apply to this situation. He requested and was sent nudes by the girl involved, which is illegal and incredibly stupid even if both parties are consenting. The girl involved felt pressured and like their relationship was inappropriate after things between them ended. The major issue was Carson not having a sense of restraint or boundaries and not taking responsibility for his actions or behaving appropriately. Something that was a reoccurring issue in a number of cases involved Carson. It was fucking stupid shit for him to be doing, but it does look like he actually stepped back and went and got therapy and improved himself. We'll see how it bares out, but from what I've read, that feels like an appropriate response.

The (main) allegation against Callmecarson was also very different, because the girl involved wasn't the one to originally come forward. The actual people who came out to talk about it were two other CC that were a part of the group, explaining that Carson's behavior was why their group broke up. The content creators involved were keeping quiet mostly because of concerns about legal issues. The girl involved only spoke up after the cc broke the story, to explain her side of things.

Those allegations were taken a lot more seriously because they were made by people who knew Carson and who had significantly platforms and no reason to lie about him. The allegations were backed up very substantially by a lot of people, and Carson himself admitted to them quite quickly. Lots of evidence was presented by credible people. That's why a lot of creators cut ties with him, and why he ended up leaving the platform.

Now, compare both of those to the accusations against Dream.

The first set of allegations (Oxe) were pretty obvious fakes and frankly just stupid to begin with. Like, that person wasn't even alleging anything actually happening. It was dumb from start to finish.

The second set of allegations (Amanda) are a set of allegations from a random person on twitter, with two screen recordings for evidence. Neither screen recording shows proof of the behavior she was alleging (ie, sexting, nude photos being sent, etc). Nothing was/has been proven, and so far the only third parties who claim to have seen anything are Amanda's boyfriend (unclear on his timeline or specifics, but supporting her) and an apparent former classmate (Bee, claims that Amanda lied about this in the past, cannot provide proof of this). So it's very up in the air.

Given all that, and given the number of similar allegations in the past that ended up being false, I think it's rather reasonable the difference in responses. Content creators that know Dream are unlikely to believe the word of a stranger over him. Particularly if he's getting lawyers involved. Personally, if a friend of mine got accused of something by a stranger on twitter without proof, I would be more likely to believe my friend. I think that's how most people would react.

#sif answers #Anonymous #dream discourse #discourse #sif speaks #dreamwastaken #maintagging this b/c I keep seeing these comparisons

[nekropsii]

hey bro, what did you see that led you to make that post about misogyny with female characters? Like, was it some posts with hateful comments about them?

Honestly, it's a topic that I get really mad at... Just because I know it has existed, and very much so still exists, despite the fact that a lot of people within the community like to claim that they're extremely Progressive and "above Bigotry". There doesn't necessarily have to be a trigger for me posting about it- it's unsettling how pervasive it is, and it's worth calling out whenever and wherever it's possible to do so, similarly to the Racism problem. It's been a problem for years, and it extends well beyond the scope of just the Homestuck fandom. It's a problem in every fandom that's ever existed, since it's a worldwide systemic issue that has, in many places, been mandated by law and (now known to be junk) science.

This isn't really the place for a lesson on the history of Misogyny, though, and I'm sure you're already aware of that, so let's just get back to the Homestuck discussion.

Absolutely being "that guy" right now, every single woman in Homestuck has been subjected to horrible levels of misogyny by the fans for varying reasons and with various effects. To list a few examples of their main effects on an assortment of characters...

Terezi was very frequently made into a "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" archetype. This was just about the only characterization you could find of her back in the day.

Vriska was and still is shafted with the worst discourse in the history of the world, with people refusing to acknowledge her humanity and pinning her as nothing but an unfeeling, horrifically abusive cunt who does nothing but destroy everything around her. She is the most controversial character, possibly in fandom history, and part of the reason for this intense hatred and backlash is literally because she is a woman.

Kanaya is still regularly reduced to nothing but a Mother Figure. Freudian, but true.

Jade is the most recent target of a full frontal assault of it, with the classic reason of "Getting Between the Hot Gays". This was bolstered by Post Canon, and is one of the reasons why I despise it.

Nepeta was reduced to nothing but her relationship with the men in her life, and given an uncharacteristic level of outright obsession with romance/shipping. Nepeta's entire character was rendered physically incapable of passing the Bechdel Test back in the day.

Jane. I literally do not have to say anything else.

Feferi was and still is unjustly characterized as a coldhearted mega-bitch who will tear you to shreds for acting a single step outside of your "best behavior".

Porrim is still generally reduced to nothing but a sex object. This is extremely fucking ironic to me, and also extremely painful.

Criticism of female characters is, and always will be, significantly more intense than that of male characters. It's a given. Misogyny will always be one of the number one ways people respond to a female character- and while it will manifest in different ways, as I have outlined here, it is genuinely unavoidable. Vriscourse is one of the most well known examples of intense, long-term fandom discourse known to internet history, to the point where people who had never even read the fucking comic would engage in it. Plenty of other male characters do some fucked up shit, some even worse than what she does- and are given much less humanity and reasoning- but they're let off arguably much easier than Vriska is.

I remember back in the day it would be common for people to have their favorite characters be Eridan, and/or Gamzee, and/or Cronus, and then be legitimately violently hateful of Vriska. And I mean violently- it would get downright disturbing. It still does. It was normal to receive death threats for saying you like her, or just drawing her or something- neither of which are signs of "condoning what she did", but people took it as such anyway. There comes a point where you have to ask what the line is, and that "line" is that she activates some fucked up sleeper agent in people's brains that tell them to bring out the fine china that is their own Latent Misogyny. The "line" is that she's a woman. People are okay when male characters hurt or kill people, they're okay when they say or do fucked up things, they're okay when they abuse people... At most, they'll get a light slap on the wrist. But if a female character does the same thing, they'll get absolutely lambasted with the most vile shit you've ever seen in your life from fans. Fans who claim to be "above" Bigotry. Who claim to be Progressive.

And honestly, chances are, that female character doesn't even have to do anything.

#homestuck #homestuck analysis #homestuck fandom #beta trolls #alpha trolls #alpha kids #terezi pyrope #vriska serket #kanaya maryam #jade harley #nepeta leijon #jane crocker #feferi peixes #porrim maryam #vriscourse #homestuck.pdf #nekro.pdf

[thunderstroked]

At Your Window || Mona & Inge

TIMING: around when mona first got to wicked's rest. LOCATION: inge's townhouse. PARTIES: @nightmaretist & @thunderstroked SUMMARY: mona finds an old friend. CONTENT WARNINGS: none.

It wasn’t often that the fox ran into those from her past, especially not overseas. She’d made friends over the years while traveling across the United States, but had figured most would have aged significantly, the memories they shared fond ones, but ones that were best left unvisited. However, finding Inge in a sea of unfamiliar faces hadn’t been something she expected. There’d been a good chunk of time between their last meeting and this one. Wicked’s Rest offered a lot to its residents, and apparently running into old friends was one of them. 

The fox had tracked down where Inge lived, not because she had any detective skills to speak of, but because she had trailed after the woman while shifting, waiting to see which door she ended up walking through. She waited patiently for the sun to set before continuing her journey on all fours, scaling up to the second floor of Inge’s townhome. Through the windows she couldn’t see much but the movement of shadows passing through light. Instead of knocking on the door or throwing a rock at the woman’s window, the fox let out a horrific screech, one that was sure to disturb the entire neighborhood. 

—

She had grown quite attached to her house in the middle of Deersprings, the square feet that she paid a monthly amount for in high rent. She’d lived in New York before, where her space had been cramped and expensive, and though the city was more to her liking, this home was better. More spacious, with a balcony and a large kitchen (that she used sparingly) and plenty of room to work from home and display many of her favored trinkets she’d acquired over the years. Inge was content here, which was a strange thing for her.

Of course, this feeling of peace was bound to be disrupted. A screech raced through the air, loud and high-pitched and animalistic and Inge found herself jumping where she sat. The laptop resting on her legs bounced, the words of the essay she’d been grading dancing. She frowned, putting the computer aside on her couch and getting up, opening one of her windows only to come face-to-face with a fox. Not just any fox, though. This was one she’d recognize out of many. “No way.” Lips split into a grin, amazement painting her features. “You scared the shit out of me.” Not really, but a little. “Come in.”

—

Within seconds of the scream splitting into the air, the shades of the window were being pulled and Inge’s face appeared before her. The fox grinned at her friend before slipping through the window, but not before hearing a few shouts from the neighbors asking what was going on. One would have thought that in a place like Wicked’s Rest, they would have become accustomed to the screams that filled the night air. 

Mona shifted back as soon as she was inside. “That was intentional, I hope you know that.” She grinned at her friend before tugging her into a tight hug. “How long has it been this time?” Mona pulled away and looked up at the mare, her own grin reminiscent of the one she wore as a fox. At least she’d been remembered, despite the years that had passed them by. That made the loneliness endured a little less hurtful. “Nice place you’ve got here, Inge.” Mona glanced around, hands on her hips. “Did I interrupt your work?” 

—

It was strange, to have an animal around her that wasn’t skittish or violent — but then this wasn’t really an animal. Mona was a more evolved being than just some boring old fox. Inge watched her transform, endlessly intrigued by these kinds of things. The shifting of kitsune wasn’t as gruesome as how she imagined some other transformations to be, but it was still something she wanted to witness with unbroken concentration.

“I would be very disappointed if it wasn’t intentional,” she said. Inge appreciated any kind of scare, even if it made her jump a little. At least her laptop was okay. She looked around as well, before giving a grin. “Thank you. And technically you did, sure, but I’m glad for the excuse to take a long break.” Her laptop was closed, tossed aside on the couch. “Grading essays can technically be done with your eyes closed, anyway. Come, sit. What are you doing here? Not my place, I can imagine why you’d visit me …” She showed her teeth as she smirked cheekily. “But in this town.”

—

“Oh, well… that’s a shame.” It wasn’t a shame at all, not really. It’d been years since she’d last seen Inge, and to end up in the same place as her was a treat all on its own. Mona scrunched her nose. “You’re a teacher now?” She hadn’t figured that’d be the direction that Inge would’ve went, but it was in any creative sphere, she figured that made the most sense for her friend. To give others inspiration was what Inge did best, even if Mona hadn’t seen exactly what she was capable of. That, of course, had been a deal they made. Moreso on Inge’s side, but Mona had promised she wouldn’t singe her. 

Mona plopped down onto the couch after kicking her shoes to the side. Feet tucked beneath her, she leaned into the arm rest and looked at her friend for a moment before shrugging. “Turns out I had another friend here who needed some help, so I’m watching over her place while she’s away.” Whatever Esther– Edith, whatever she was going by these days was up to, was none of Mona’s business. “She helped me out a few years back, so I felt compelled to help her out now.” Clasping her hands together, she jutted her chin in the direction of Inge. “What are you doing here? This town seems a little too small for your liking. Or is it that everyone seems to be scared all the time? Looking over their shoulder and all that…” She trailed off, waiting for Inge to explain. 

—

“A professor,” she corrected mildly, a little bit of mischief sparked in her eyes. It was an important distinction, at least to her. “It’s fun. My third semester teaching, I never thought I’d become someone who’d spread the good word of art around.” Inge hardly did it out of some big moral consideration, but she did think art education a deeply valuable thing, if only because her own time at university had proved to be so transformative for her own life. She also liked the feeling of authority, the control she had in the classroom and the way her students tended to look up to her. (Those that didn’t, she disregarded as people with low opinions, of course.)

“That’s sweet of you,” she said, but it wasn’t fully complimentative. It was sweet, but she just didn’t put a lot of value into sweetness. “What kind of place is it?” A large home, she hoped — that would be quite a sweet deal. “I heard that this place was brewing with the supernatural, and I got in a tight spot back in New York so I thought why the heck not. People here do have quite a lot of fears to toy with, yes. I will say, though, this town is crawling with active hunters.” Inge scrunched up her nose in distaste. “Which is logical, considering there’s quite a fair supernatural community. Still, just so you’re aware. It’s a cute town, though. Barely ever boring, unlike most small towns.” 

—

Mona mouthed out the word professor and nodded. “Right, that.” She’d never gone to college– not that she had needed it. She was perfectly fine coasting the way she wanted without any kind of human institutions. There was already too much of it in her life to begin with. There was, however, a degree of understanding she had with Inge. Inge hadn’t always been a mare. She’d been a human with dreams– dreams that only grew larger after her transition into the undead being she now was given what it provided her, but still. Mona felt for her friend, but only to the degree in which a gumiho who was above human existence could understand. “Well I’m sure you’re the best they’ve ever seen.” She knew that to be the truth– she didn’t even need to inflate her own compliment. 

“Isn’t it?” With a laugh, Mona considered why she hadn’t asked to do something else– why she hadn’t considered hiring somebody else to help the studio so that she could continue on her way. But Edith had been there when nobody else was, much like Inge. “Mm…” She shrugged, “it’s an apartment in– on…? Amity Road.” She still wasn’t sure about the separation of neighborhoods and actual roads in this town, it was all so confusing. “It’s comfortable though, it’s right above the studio that she owns– that I temporarily own.” It still caused her a great deal of stress. The last thing she wanted to do was leave something broken for Edith to come home to. As Inge explained that she’d heard about Wicked’s Rest and its supernatural entities, Mona hummed. “Is it?” She had anticipated that– the hunter bit. She’d been so focused on running from her own family that she never really considered the kinds of dangers human hunters could pose. “I think I got caught in their traps a few weeks back, but luckily I had somebody to help me out.” She always managed to get out of things with her luck. Inge continued and Mona raised a brow. “So you’re an expert, then? I’ll be sure to ask you who’s who and who to avoid.” 

—

Though she preferred to think of herself a woman untethered of wants and needs, someone driven only by her artistic urgency, there was value to be found in her work as a professor. She might lack professionalism at times, but Inge had once been a mortal who went to school for art and she remembered her teachers there. There was value in art and art education and though her purpose wasn’t within teaching, she still found something in it. And yes, she was good at it. Of course she was. “Some of the best for sure, yes,” she said, smirking a little. What other art teachers had her experience? Her means for creativity? Art was made better through suffering, Inge thought, and she had suffered and caused suffering aplenty.

“Oh, Amity Road! It’s cute there. Fun shops.” She’d wasted a fair bit of money on funny trinkets there, as well as various supplies. At the mention of a studio she raised her brows. “A studio? For what kind of thing?” It implied something artistic, and thus her interest was piqued. Inge patted the couch, sat down herself and hoped that Mona would join her as she stretched her fingers. They were a little cramped from all her typing. “That’s a good side-effect of this town too, I suppose. Plenty of helping hands.” Except for that damned zombie, of course. Curse her. “I’ve not had the best luck, admittedly, but then I am still here — so not entirely unlucky. I’d love to give you a rundown of the folks here, though, but first … tell me how you’ve been?”

—

“Fun shops, full of humans who don’t know what they’re getting themselves into.” Mona rolled her eyes, thinking about the spellcaster who had nearly blown his own toes off after a spell had gone awry. “But not all of them.” It was naive to think that she was the only supernatural entity on the block– after all, who was sitting in front of her but a mare she’d became friends with against all odds? The woman’s scare tactics hadn’t delved into their relationship, and for that, Mona was grateful. 

“Photography.” Mona sighed, waving away the implications that she didn’t dare say, “and before you say anything, no, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m winging it, or whatever it is that they say.” Because she had to, for Edith’s– Esther’s sake. Mona took a seat next to Inge at her coaxing and leaned into the arm rest, elbows digging into the fabric. “You? Without luck? What era are we living in.” At one point, Mona thought Inge to be the luckiest person alive. With a tilt of her head, she shrugged. “The same, about. Haven’t run into my sister since the 80’s, so I’d say I’m doing just great.” Her fear that her twin would follow her to Wicked’s Rest had subsided after realizing she was not the only kitsune in the area. Though, she was the only one to look the way she did. Whatever. “Managed to get myself this temporary gig at the photo studio, managed to be crowned a cryptid, you know, the usual.” 

—

“Yes, like I said. Fun shops.” Inge wasn’t above a little bit of schadenfreude after all, and seeing humans stumble about the supernatural world was very much amusing to her. This town was full of them, even in the face of the large supernatural community and nature that surrounded them. It intrigued her. It vaguely reminded her of the ignorant human she had once been. Sometimes Inge wondered if she’d had any supernatural neighbors back in Wanneperveen. “Not all of them, that’s true. It’s amazing to me though, how many of them continue to remain ignorant. Probably for the best, though.”

Her lips spread into a smile, “Oh, that’s delightful! Or is it just a place where you take headshots and family portraits, because then …” She pulled a face. “I’m sure your winging it is still excellent, don’t fret.” Inge was a little amused at the notion that she was usually a lucky person, considering her track record. What was luck, anyway? A ridiculous thing, much like hope or faith. She didn’t really know what to do with the mention of Mona’s sister. It must be strange to have family that aged similarly to you — she thought of her own family, all aged and dying like mortals did. She was glad not to see them any more. “Good for you. Keeping it that way too, yeah?” 

Her expression lifted with surprise and intrigue, “Managed to be crowned a cryptid? Now, you must tell me more — but let me get you a glass and something to eat first.” She got up, moving quickly to the kitchen to arrange the necessary ingredients for a night of reconnection with an old friend.

#para: at your window #para: inge #wickedswriting #//i love inge and marin so much < 3 #//also sorry marin... today was long.. ur in beddy bye time.. i post this now....

[jaythelay]

Friendly reminder no game requires over 100million in budget and Lethal Company is 10$ made by one dude.

Friendly reminder you, yes, you, right now, can make And Sell, a game. Right now. Unreal Engine? Unity? Gamedot? Gamemaker? RPG maker? Source Engine?

Don't get me started on all the free shit, or pre-made shit that cut costs significantly. Or reusing assets you've had for decades.

Friendly reminder that Graphics never mattered and putting it ahead of even the simplest artistry and clarity has only increased budgets Absolutely Unneccessarily, and thus prices, arbitrarily, went up as well, but nothing gameplay wise has improved since Dark Souls at best. A game from 2011.

Friendly reminder that buying a game on sale is not "getting one over" on anyone but yourself. Companies, in fact, set these sales up themselves. All you're doing is delaying being a Pay Piggy Useful Idiot. But still choosing to be. Please. Please understand that companies set these sales up themselves. Please understand you're embarrassing as all hell thinking Sales are a gotcha for anyone but towards yourself from companies. Please understand that even if you pull the trigger, the industry held the gun to your head, and you didn't win anything. Please. Please grow the fuck up.

Friendly Reminder that these companies hire Addiction Experts to give you and children mental and financial issues so they can claim "disappointing" streak setting record profits again after a decade of doing this, it's never been subtle and not recognizing that gives me depression.

Friendly Reminder that just about every game company SA's their staff, overworks, underpays if at all pays, and in general blacklist and have pizza party layoffs for people Just Like You And Me, employees, workers, developers, whatever you want to say, they're on your level, not the CEOs.

Friendly Reminder that N64 cartridge prices are not, and have never, been legitimate arguments to increase prices without increasing literally anything else, from quality to content, to still having DLC and micros, the price increase was the consumer's demand of less for more. Utterly. Pathetic.

Friendly Reminder that you Do Not Have To Buy From Companies and this is the Last Industry With Ethical Consumption possible.

Friendly Reminder that there is No Other Regulator than the Consumer. You and Me. When you and I demand better for less, companies have no choice but to listen.

However.

Friendly Reminder: Guaranteed Sales have made this industry completely unfixable. You're either choosing to support an industry of sexual assault, regular assault, and horrific work conditions, or you know...just...just buy indie.

Really imagine a world where all ya had to do to lower sexual assault rates was...buy from Indie instead of actively supporting, defending, and enabling this horrific industry?

Friendly Reminder: You aren't going to fucking die if you don't buy that product, you're a human being respect yourself for fucks sake, companies abuse your lack of self-respect to get you to lower your standards.

Friendly Reminder: I haven't changed my stance since the early 360 years. Ya'll just helped companies move the goalpost. I didn't. Do better. Be better. You only benefit yourself, consumers, workers, and the art, by not supporting this dreadful industry.

Friendly Reminder: for the price of One (1) Triple A game, you can get 10 indie titles that are far, far superior, and will make an actual lasting mark on your life. Unlike anything triple a has put out in decades.

Friendly Reminder: In 10 years everything you did in Fortnite and Apex Legends, Overwatch etc, will be deleted. Gone. Nothing to come back to. All the money put in? Poof. Gone. Nothing to show but a receipt. Won't even be able to play the game anymore. It will live on in YT videos. A mere memory.

Stop buying from Triple A and FOR GOD'S SAKE, STOP DEFENDING THEM???!??!!!? I'd ask of the sex was worth it, but we both know these people will never get laid. They can't even respect themselves enough to not let a company fuck them in the ass one way or the other.

Incredible there's a hustle culture for gaming, with digital libraries. Imagine showing off how shanghai'd you were into giving away money to people already rich whilst you're poor and permanently sexless. Like congrats on throwing all resources into a bloated, dead industry kiddo, your mommy's credit card is gonna chargeback and your account closed. Losers.

#gaming industry #friendly reminder #addiction experts #triple a gaming industry #triple a #budgets

[jokingmaiden]

it’s my turn on the hyperfixation rant post maker and oh am i going to use it

okay so like. ive been seeing a lot of people talking abt the collector and either how sad it is for them to have been alone for so long, OR how much of a horrifying monster they are in the disguise of a sweet little kid. both of these are partially right, but not the whole story

since the collector speaks deeply to my inner child (twauma babey), adding in my tendency to psychoanalyze everyone and my incessant need to understand my kins as well as possible, i think i’m in a uniquely suited position to put these pieces together

okay. so we don’t get very much content of the collector as of the end of season two, save for some interactions in the mirror realm, the shadow speak technique, the one brief memory with the owl beast, and the last episode. from the minimal interaction we get, we can gather a few key things about them:

-thinks everything is a game

-“collects” things by sealing them in scrolls (or did this at least once, doing so in the form of the owl beast “curse.” this hobby is probably why he’s named the collector)

-is not a witch, human, nor demon. possibly the only one of his kind, rivaled the power of a fully grown titan

-has wanted to “be friends” with King since he was born (laid? put in incubation??)

-trapped in the mirror realm by the titan, assumedly for being dangerous

-is horrifically lonely, hates being contained

-can “zoom in and out” with their eyes, move celestial bodies with the wave of a finger, turn a large, half-palismen-half-corrupted-racist-dude into sludge with a single pointer twirl, break down and rearrange the entirety of a titan’s skull with nothing more than a thought, etc.

-doesn’t react to fear, anguish, disgust, horror, etc. when seen. doesn’t seem to register these emotions at all in fact, other than surface level disappointment and an unprocessed loneliness

-similarly, doesn’t seem to understand death, harm, pain, etc

with these in mind, the collector’s full character begins to approach clarity. they’re, as some have called them, a “toddler with god powers.” this meme is significantly more accurate than i think most people realize when saying it, though.

for starters, empathy takes each child a different amount of time to develop, and does so through exposure to experiences of sharing pain (see: babies crying due to external expression of emotions from others), among other similar occurrences (learning abt how each person has their own memory, experiencing disagreements, etc.)

the collector, seeming to only have long-term emotional exposure to 1. a regal, godly titan, and then 2. a horrible, egomaniacal, manipulative, colonizing, barely-human man, would have absolutely no opportunity to be able to develop empathy towards any creatures capable of experiencing emotions stemming from survival instincts (which, it turns out, is most of all perceivable emotions).

fear means nothing to them. death isn’t a concept they can understand, past knowing a person who dies isn’t coming back (hence why it’s used as a tool to remove the manipulating “LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!” phillip, yet not understanding why it scares the kids).

they full on obliterate belos for convenience. not malice, not violence, just a desire to remove someone who doesn’t play fair. they then have absolutely no idea why the gang looks terrified when he turns around and suggests they play the same game he was just referencing when he turned a man into soup.

without the ability to empathize, the collector would have no way to understand why those two things are connected for the main gang, because in his own mind, his desire to play a game with them is completely separate from his need to get rid of belos. why are they scared? of course the collector isn’t gonna squish his new friends!! he has no way to know how and why his presence scares the absolute shit out of these traumatized children.

extending this idea, the collector has no problem with erasing the boiling isles entirely if it means he’s finally free. most humans don’t have a problem with crushing ants for personal benefit, right? why would such fragile creatures, so much like ants to the titan he once knew, be any different?

then there’s king, a creature potentially on the same power level and understanding as the collector. one who could be their equal. one who, despite being on the same level of potential, grew up in the place of a low-level demon, and had the opportunity to learn empathy and love and fear and connection. perhaps the only one who can explain it to them while actually being regarded.

but how would someone help them understand? well, the only way to help someone so late in development connect with empathy is to provide a method of logical understanding.

how would one do this? well, it would be best to start with explaining death as loneliness.

what does the collector hate? what does he understand is an awful, terrible experience he would do anything to avoid again? being trapped in darkness and isolated for what feels like an eternity, occasionally able to access a passive, minimal form of contact like a shadow on a wall.

y’know, like death.

if king can get these dots to connect in the collector’s mind, or at least get them to listen to a mature adult long enough for someone else to do it, they could potentially be brought up to the mental maturity level of king, or maybe even the main gang!!

if everyone plays their cards right, the collector could be properly raised. they could, slowly but surely, unlearn these unhealthy mentalities, escape their constant, traumatic loneliness (even before the mirror world), and get to live life as a real kid, even if they’re still absolutely OP. maybe they could even go to hexside to learn how to be a kid!! they could connect with hunter who, in a way, shares quite a lot of conceptual problems in terms of trauma, loneliness, being manipulated by belos, separation from kids their age, etc.

they could finally have a family. maybe, in a world where people love them unconditionally, they could learn to let go of exchanging world-altering favors for childlike forms of affection. maybe, with king, they could learn not to need external worth and connection to feel loved.

it’s up to the community to help them understand this, though, especially the parental figures. after all, no child is beyond redemption.

right?

#jm jabbers #toh the collector #toh spoilers #toh collector #the owl house the collector #the owl house collector #the owl house #toh #toh analysis #kinnie hours #lesgo #not sure if any of this made sense #but i kin them very hard #it’s my emotional support blorbo and i get to choose how to use them to process my trauma #please feel free to add on thoughts or ideas!! i need this food y’all please

[krysmcscience]

Seamless song splices, starring: Horton Hears A Who, and Prince of Egypt

Because if there's one thing I can't stand, it's random pops, clicks, and stutters between my music tracks, and after downloading and listening to at least five different releases of these albums to find that a whole entire none of them were actually seamless, I took it upon myself to do some quick(ish) audio editing. Here are the fruits of my labors!

I'll start with Horton Hears A Who, because John Powell is a musical superwizard and it is a Fucking Crime what they did to his work. (Seriously, look at this shit. That is the actual official soundtrack. Who approved this and where do I go to slap them?)

First, what I've titled as Opening Suite, which includes 'Fall From Tree', 'Cave of Destiny', and 'Jungle of Nool'. Because for some reason, as you can see from the soundtrack listing, whoever put the album together thought that splitting a two and a half minute song into three separate tiny chunks was a good idea. Now, I think we can all agree that they were abhorrently wrong, but rest assured that I have taken the time to correct that wrong.

Speaking of (far more horrific) wrongs, they also decided to chop this epic climactic masterpiece into four pieces! I have courteously rectified their music crimes, and titled the result as 'We Are Here!', given the whole story's theme and all (not to mention how those are the only words in the entire piece). This song includes 'Roping and Caging', 'We Are Here', 'Symphonophone', and 'Jojo Saves The Day'.

A similar wrong comes next, although it's at least somewhat more reasonable this time around. I've titled it A Big Ending, partially because it's the official title of the last of the three included songs, but also because...well, put all together, it is a really big ending. The first song is 'Hall of Mayors' (which briefly has How to Train Your Dragon vibes, in my opinion), while the middle and veritable bulk is taken up by 'Horton Suite' (i.e. the ending credits song - hence why it's so fucking long). 'Horton Suite' clocks in at nearly seven whole minutes, and is comprised of some very Suessical music that is worth every last second, and I don't care what anyone else says about that, I am Objectively Correct here.

With Horton Hears A Who out of the way, we come next to Prince of Egypt, which was similarly but at least less egregiously butchered. (Cuz I mean...at least 'Deliver Us' didn't get snipped up, right?)

First, Rally and The Plagues. I really only did this one because I wanted to listen to 'The Plagues', but hated how it didn't start cleanly. So, nothing much else to say about this one. Instead, I will take the time here to say that all four of the splices so far were easy-peasy - just a quick copy-paste and a cut of empty air between the waveforms of each file. The last one, though...

The last, and most important is When You Believe and The Red Sea, because 'When You Believe' just cuts off at the end, mid-note no less, which is clearly unacceptable to anyone with both ears and good taste. This splice...was significantly harder. It actively refused to splice clean in the same way as the prior works, up until I finally said 'fuck it', selected more than just empty air, made sure that the selection's ends were on the zero-crossing, and chopped away. BOOM. Clean splice, and - to my ear, at least - undetectable. I'm pretty pleased with it! If nothing else, I can finally listen to it without wincing at the very brief stutter between songs. (Granted, I'm not too jazzed about 'The Red Sea', but it does have some cool parts, and if nothing else, it ends nice and clean~)

Also, yes, I made those last two splices instead of sleeping, and then proceeded to make this post about all my audio editing nonsense instead of sleeping. Clearly, sharing the fruits of my labor is more important, both to me and hopefully to the other audiophiles out there who listened to these albums and also hated what was done to them. :)

(By the way, have a clean splice of 'The End.' and 'Dead!' by My Chemical Romance, too. Just for funzies.)

GOOD NIGHT!!!

#music #mp3 #Horton Hears A Who #Prince of Egypt #My Chemical Romance #Blue Sky Studios #Dreamworks #MCR #audio edit #(I am still a beginning editor - keep that in mind if you're better at it and can hear my splices plz XD)

[susandsnell]

CHOOSE VIOLENCE: 12, 18, 22, 23

thanks so much maggie!!! sorry for the delay. hope you're well!!

choose violence ask game 🔥

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them.

pick any woman lmao. but i'm going to say i'm especially defensive of may welland from the age of innocence and amy march from little women. the former is hated for trying to put a stop to an affair her husband was having/protect herself from being left for another woman when before they ever got married, she told newland straight up he didn't have to marry her if he wasn't sure and his dumb ass was so indecisive he tried to have his cake and eat it too, and nearly ruined both their lives. as for amy, she's unjustly hated for the high crime of 1) being kind of bratty as a child and 2) having the audacity to marry laurie, who she loved, instead of jo who is a lesbian who did not/could not commit to him. Perhaps the view of this has been skewed by the 2019 flick where Florence Pugh is playing an 8 year old and a twentysomething, but it really says something that classic lit fandom will fawn over the most atrocious, insufferable men imaginable (Rochester should've roasted and I'll die on that hill) but if a little girl , a literal child, has an age-appropriate fit of rage once and argues with her sisters (do these people not...have siblings?), culminating in her destroys her sister's things and said sister is everyone's self insert character (except, conveniently, for her rejections/subversions of femininity GEE I WONDER WHY), that's apparently a bridge too far. Even if she's overall a sweet person and outgrows being, again, kind of annoying as a kid.

Also, does Carlotta Giudicelli from Phantom of the Opera count? (Let's go with the musical version here for argument's sake.) She's a bit of a diva, sure, but honestly she earned it and is iconic for it, and she literally just wanted workplace safety and to not be replaced by a significantly younger and skinnier performer based on someone in power's attraction to said performer, which is still a very real issue in the entertainment world! She takes no shit! She was kind of hard on Christine when she wasn't to blame but c'mon, I'd hardly be the most reasonable or understanding if there was a serial killer on the loose bumping off my coworkers who was constantly threatening my life and that of my partner, and had suffered public humiliation twice at the hands of said nutjob. And she then has to find her husband dead as almost an afterthought to the wider plot. TeamCarlotta, she did nothing wrong except be slightly rude under extremely upsetting circumstances. I think she was more disliked in past Phantom fandom than she is now, but c'mon. Feature her more in fanworks, she's a badass!

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on… I can't answer 'women' twice, but I will just say as a generality deconstructing popular fic tropes. Really pick apart the horrific implications of what a Soulmates/Reincarnation AU looks like when equipoised against one's free will. Or heck, make it funny - There Is Only One Bed and this sonofabitch keeps kicking me. Just keep things fresh!!!

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores Ooh, tough one! Again, the cop-out answer is 'character's canonical flaws and worse moments, or their better points if they're worse characters' lolol, but I really in general get bummed when people shirk worldbuilding and cool concepts in service of the same handful of relationship tropes? Not to be one of those people who bitches about lacking gen while also not contributing gen content - I fully acknowledge myself I'm more into the relationship aspect of things, but whether it's the fullest potential of the Train in Infinity Train, the way the Force is deconstructed as some kind of horrific fate-controlling entity in Knights of the Old Republic 2, so so so so so much vampire lore/rules/mythos in any given vamp media and its fandom, I wish it was just acknowledged and played with more! You could even do so in service of ships/characterization if you're clever!

23. ship you’ve unwillingly come around to Another tough call! I tend to stick to my guns on ships and either end up liking them out of the gate and then that like can turn into total brainrot, or I just kind of dislike them and stay disliking them. If we're talking some real crack, I started as vaguely amused by Barbenheimer (the crossover ship based on the phenomenon) to getting surprisingly behind cracky content made for it. I'm sorry I don't have a more dramatic or satisfactory answer on this front, but as I said, I tend to stick around my early-formed opinions on ships, and most of them I approach from a neutral perspective to begin with and see if it's swayed by solid content, canon or fanon.

#ask night #thanks so much!!! sorry for the wait #choose violence asks

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

it frustrates me that the writers did a similar thing with sandor as nine, where the version of them we see outside of their pov backstory novella is a completely different and significantly worse person, and that's the version the rest of their involvement in the series is built on while effectively missing a backstory.

like, sandor in last days of lorien and sandor in nine's legacy are both interesting characters in very different ways. but they are VERY different ways.

[canon-typical child abuse, dehumanization, torture, misogyny, transphobia mention, racism mention, there's a lot here lmao]

[deep breath]

NL!sandor is callous, dehumanizing, and cruel, and absolutely cannot grok that his child is not a belonging and extension of himself, to the point of being shocked when nine gets sick of being treated like a possession and starts really pushing back in a way he can't steamroll over because Hi I am a Fucking Person. he makes use of nine's inheritance to blow on cars and fancy suits and impressing girls, while completely and utterly isolating him and refusing to so much as give him time out of training to read about basic history or literature. when he finally starts half-assedly giving him a little bit of childhood it's because treating nine like a machine wasn't working anymore. he's a misogynistic piece of shit who uses that to emotionally abuse and insult nine and devalue his relationships with other people, while pressuring him to engage those relationships the way sandor would, and telling him that people he wants the respect of will think he's worthless, embarrassing, and a loser if he doesn't go through with it. he belittles nine's choices in presentation and appearance, in ways that are also misogynistic as well as transphobic and frankly pretty racist (hi, shitting on men with long hair). he treats him like a fictional character from comics he likes. it does not cross his mind even slightly to leave after they have LITERALLY BEEN FOUND BY A SCOUT WHO DID NOT REPORT BACK, because it would mean leaving behind his toys and he cares more about those than nine's safety. he guilts nine for supposedly being the one to take away his toys by escaping from the mogs sandor brought down on them, while doing something sandor pressured him relentlessly to do--the dating--and then disparages him for risking everything 'for some girl.' he gaslights him about being 'immature' and 'not thinking straight' when nine won't leave this time. he condemns nine to a year of torture, being forced to watch his girlfriend slaughtered in front of him, having to watch sandor be tortured in front of him, and having to mercy kill him to make it stop. he forces him to kill someone in what is clearly a horrifically traumatic incident, one that leaves him shaking uncontrollably and about to puke, and goes 'get used to it you fuckin pussy there's a war on' before moving right along. after said incident he gleefully beats him bruised and bloody on the regular, to the point where nine starts using his methods to self-harm later, and says 'you're no good to me' when he gets beaten up in the middle of training because he was preoccupied (thinking about the girl sandor pressured him into pursuing). he casually treats him like a servant. he makes him pick out knives to be thrown at him later. he calls his new legacy an upgrade.

like. there's more. there's more! the list is long! holy shit! he is interesting but jesus christ!

......and he is nothing like LDoL!sandor.

i could go on for a long time about this and in a followup i probably will, but like.

[deep breath the second]

LDoL!sandor would doubtlessly not be a great parent either, but it wouldn't be Like That. it would be single teen immigrant parent with zero support whatsoever, and no life experience with a place where there's scarcity and rough weather and shelter isn't always easy to come by and day-to-day life isn't relatively safe. it would be a very very adhd and autistic single teen parent who has never really learned how to cope with that outside specific social context and is very irresponsible because of it, and is also irresponsible as backlash against the authoritarian dystopia he grew up in. who is going to be fighting off the mother of all adhd/autistic burnout after a year and a half bottled up in a tiny space with a bunch of animals and SEVENTEEN OTHER PEOPLE, half of whom are small children, and more specifically has been left in charge of another very neurodivergent small child who is extremely loud and hyperactive and not good at grokking the idea of personal space. LDoL!sandor would be a parent who fiercely, desperately loves and wants the best for his kid, but is also a kid himself who is trapped in an absolute fucking nightmare scenario, and is desperately trying not to drown, and failing.

also a really interesting character! and a really goddamn heartbreaking one at that! and a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ONE from the sandor we got, whose arc and personality have the clearest knock-on effects on NL!nine's characterization, and then (to a lesser extent, for Reasons but that's a whole lot of posts of their own) canon!nine's throughout the series. and it's frustrating because if you try to use LDoL!sandor instead, it completely changes the fundamental themes of NL!nine's character and arc.

namely: pushing back against the idea that because you are a child you are an extension of me, not a person, and i own you. having both childhood and adulthood dangled over your head, to yank you around as a method of control by adults who were never going to treat you as a person either way. trying to become the latter for the agency to scrape together what you can of the former, and only having those last few scraps taken from you too in the process. infantilization vs adultification. That Kind of Thing.

(which, god that would have given him so many fantastic parallels and foils with five, but that is also something for another post or it will derail this train into the next state over. i could go on for So Long about this)

and! none of that would be a thing if he hadn't had the sandor for a guardian who treated him that way. aaaaaaa!!!

anyway there's a lot i could say about this but the long and short of it is that i am confident LDoL!sandor would beat NL!sandor to death with his own pasty little hands

#lorien legacies #LL sandor #LL number nine #LL crit tag #the crit files #cws in post #i have a Lot of thoughts in me about how NL!nine's themes and arc are just that one onion meme #'DNA Evidence Suggests Children Could Be Closely Related to Humans' #whereas canon!nine's drops that in favor of being about deep; deep existential despair #and coping with it in horrific ways that explain it but also maybe don't fcking do that bud #(said onion meme does come in later as an extension of that when he gets his hands on younger kids fcking lol) #said it before and i'll say it again canon!nine would have been a REALLY good villain #if they had expanded on the missing stair theme in that direction instead of it just transparently being the writers #putting in their buddy from high school they have fond memories of who was a creep and a bully and probably assaulted people #but i digress

[kamreadsandrecs]

This was the most recent book I finished: The Sacrifice by Rin Chupeco. Perfect for spooky season (I read this over the long Undas weekend!), it features a Hollywood film crew going to a tropical island to film a documentary about the island’s curse. Nothing could possibly go wrong, they think - except then everything goes spectacularly, horrifically wrong. Spoiler-free review: Overall a very fun read, quite spooky in lots of places - I will never look at makahiya the same way again, and this just upped the balete spook factor significantly. Would make an amazing movie imo, given the visuals. Twists were pretty good for the most part, sometimes predictable but mostly not, and that ending was not a bad way to cap the entire story. Most importantly though, every single jerk in this story got their comeuppance, and I am so happy they did. Rating: Four Mumu and One Duwende (4 1/2) Buy here: https://read.sourcebooks.com/young-adult/9781728255910-the-sacrifice-tp.html More comprehensive rambling take under the Read More for spoilers and language.

From the moment this book started I knew whose side I was on: the mumu’s (or the Diwata’s, to give it its proper name). It’s so clear that the white people are disrespectful, and are someplace where they really shouldn’t be, that they’ve paved their way by paying bribes and by just outright ignoring what other people have told them. This is a running theme throughout the book that’s established very early on, and every time it happens I find myself wanting the Diwata to kill every single puting dayuhan that disrespects them. Eventually it’s clear that they don’t all deserve to die, but it takes a while to figure out which ones don’t and which ones do, and generally speaking the ones who do really deserve to get killed. Actually this whole book is a send-up of all the stupid things white people do when they’re abroad: disrespecting local traditions and people, taking things that don’t belong to them, and looking down on things they think are “primitive” or “beneath them” just because it’s unfamiliar or they don’t understand how something works. Also utterly unsurprised that most of the shit is perpetrated by a Hollywood film crew: a microcosm of all the things that are terrible about Americans abroad (and even in their own country, as the novel will show). I don’t want to get into specifics because spoilers, but honestly, read this book and you will be cheering the Diwata on just like I was, especially if you’re from a country that’s a former colony or, y’know, are intimately familiar with a certain type of tourist (who are not always white, it must be noted, but have privilege regardless). Speaking of the Diwata: for all that I was cheering them on, they are legitimately terrifying. There were moments throughout this novel that had me thinking that this would make for a very good movie, because damn me if I didn’t visualize certain parts in my head the same way I would a scene in a show or a movie, and spook myself out something fierce. The use of balete and makahiya as key visual components just ups the spooky factor incredibly. Now, I know balete are spooky enough on their own, but the use of makahiya was new and interesting and very very spooky. (I was also watching Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities in between reading this, so my imagination was working very well indeed - especially after Episode 6.) On a more serious note, and going back to white people and colonialism: some of my friends, who read the ARC version of this novel, mentioned they weren’t quite sold on the inclusion of Cortes, a fictional Spanish soldier who traveled to the Philippines with Magellan and who’s involved in the history of the island and the Diwata. While I can see how that character can feel extraneous to everything that’s going on, I tend to think of them as a reflection of the Hemslock character in the present of the novel - something which I think works, given how Hemslock is obsessed with Cortes’ journal and the information within it, which supposedly tells him how to control the Diwata on the island. There were also some concerns about how Lapulapu was made out to be the villain in Cortes’ journal for supposedly participating in sacrifices that allowed him to “control” the Diwata and therefore helped him win against the Spanish. To my mind, though, I don’t think that’s the case, since that information comes solely from Cortes, who I consider unreliable as fuck because he’s an invader and a white man looking down his nose at anyone who doesn’t Look Like Him, so of course he would attribute Lapulapu’s success and prowess at holding onto power to a god, and not to his own capabilities as a leader and warrior. Because surely, surely this brown savage needs the help of a higher power in order to succeed against white men with guns. This ties in with what Hemslock himself thinks and does towards the latter end of the novel, where he claims that these “brown bastards” don’t deserve the power of the Diwata, and that he does, because as a white American man with a shitton of guns, he’s “better” - which is of course utter horseshit. Things do not go as he planned, obviously - much like things did not go as planned for Cortes. (What all of this reminds me of that bullshit “ancient aliens” idea: how brown people couldn’t have created things like the Pyramids and the Nazca Lines because they were “primitive” so they had help from aliens. The surface might be different, but the thought is more or less the same: racist and paternalistic all the way down.) Now, while all of the above is anger-inducing (as it should be imo), there’s also parts that are a bit softer and more heartwarming. One of the bigger underlying themes has to do with filial love and piety. It’s not obvious at first, and is only really made clear towards almost the end of the story, but I think the way it was handled was beautiful and bittersweet. There’s also the romance between Alon, the nonbinary protagonist, and Chase, the son of one of the members of the Hollywood crew. I can see where some reviewers are coming from when they say the romance was superfluous, but I thought it was rather lovely and appropriate. I appreciate that didn’t go any further than it had to, and that while it was there as a kind of sweet undertone to all horrific things that were going on, it didn’t get in the way of the horror at all. i do admit that it was a bit jarring in some places, but that was something I was able to let slide fairly easily. One thing though that I didn’t quite agree with: the use of Tagalog in the narrative. While there’s nothing wrong with Tagalog itself, it’s just weird that this island is located in Leyte, in the Visayas, and Alon, the Diwata, and some of the other minor characters are all using Tagalog. Hell, if I’m not mistaken the term “diwata” itself is Tagalog. The thing is, Tagalog isn’t much used in Leyte: they use Waray, or a form of Bisaya. So why are these very likely Bisaya characters talking in Tagalog, of all things? Likely because that’s what Chupeco’s familiar with, but surely they could’ve, Idk, talked to someone from the region to help them with this? Surely there would’ve been a lot of Waray and/or Bisaya speakers out there who would’ve been glad to give them a hand.

#books #book review #the sacrifice #rin chupeco #filipino author #filipino literature #horror

[avvocarlo]

my work is giving me the absolute shits at the moment. I genuinely want to be able to work, except the problem is they're doing it in the most irritating way possible. I've been saying No near on 95 % of the time because it'll be one or more of the following: asking at 9 pm tonight if I can be somewhere tomorrow for 8 am - 3 pm, only a day or so notice, a few hours prior to the shift - this is including sleepovers - somewhere I haven't been to before on that very day, asking me to do back to back shifts while I was already on shift or soon after finishing, offering only a few days in advance to do a 24 hour shift at a place that's over 50 km away. also keep in mind that this is unpredictable work, I genuinely could get a knife in the neck one day for all I know

like no I'm not going to accept these anymore. I was going completely mental for all those months I had long weeks that were at times an upward of 60-70 hours, sleeping in a house that wasn't my own, doing stressful work in a multitude of locations, frequent texts and calls from multiple people (org rostering, coordinators, supervisors, agency staff) every single day demanding that we remove, add, or alter shifts by location, hours etc. that then culminated into some insanely stressful shifts that were utterly cooked by a horrific level of mismanagement. to mention these events in detail would be a whole post by itself I'm sure.

not too long ago they caught on to me that I was essentially burnt out, I told them the last minute shift offers were significantly bothering myself and my partner, they seemingly listened. I'm not sure if my regular coordinator is gone, but that had soon been disregarded. they probably believe I'm difficult or possibly lazy, but their logistical and organisational skills are so mind blowingly incompetent that it will inevitably beget this kind of outcome. what do you expect to happen?

I'm agency at the moment, and we're in the process of moving me somewhere else organisation-wise that will provide consistency, except idk man... I'm feeling incredibly jaded by the whole situation, there was a period I wanted to leave my agency and transition over to the organisation I'm still at, the organisation then seemed to take it upon themselves to use this as a way of pushing my boundaries. increased calls, ridiculous expectations, etc etc.

some people might argue that's to test my worth! that I needed to stick it out! why? what to blindly follow the promise of dangling keys above me like some kind of chump? come on man, there's no way I'm going to fall for that, nor am I going to be some performing bitchboy who puts up with that type of behaviour. I've been called a great worker by my agency/organisation, except it's increasingly difficult to even tell how genuine they are. it does seem like a lot of smoke and mirrors, truly. if I'm so great then why did you treat me that way? I'm better than that, I suppose if I wasn't an asset in their mind they wouldn't be fighting to keep me within the agency + organisation. which again, I don't overly trust. they seem to believe I can't catch on to how facetious many aspects of this industry are. Self Care, Therapeutic Responses, oh did you do this? Ahhh always follow the planner! Be the Gestapo for the love of god, except don't. you know what I mean?

anyway, feeling pretty frustrated about this situation. having time away (as you can all tell by the increased posting over the last month) certainly helped me realise what was important and how I truly felt, unfortunately that only helps me by personal perspective rather than an actual subsequent change with financial compensation, job security, or career pathways... hopefully things will be on the up soon? a sense of structure is extremely important to me

#most places would be fortunate to have me as i know i am very intelligent emotionally and intellectually #i genuinely believe I'd be a great coordinator or manager #I'm convinced #unfortunately this industry has a significant amount of ass kissing and pantomime participating that kind of makes me sick #this job pays fairly well too like I'll choose my own comfort over money #who do you think you are?