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vivmaek · 6 months

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ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PART EIGHT (positive vibes only <3)

This was originally going to be another roast. But tbh, my heart has been feeling heavy the past few months. I'm sure some of you can relate, especially with all the events currently occurring in our world. So, I decided to focus on what I love most about certain placements in an effort to spread a little positivity.

✿ Aries Moons stand up and fight for the people they care about. They won’t let their friends be belittled within their presence, they have your back. They’re the first to speak out on injustice and will take action to make things right.

❀ People who have Gemini in the 8th house ask questions that matter. They invoke deep thoughts within other people and are unafraid to explore topics that are uncomfortable or taboo.

✿ Those who have a Moon Sextile Venus aspect know how to make others feel loved. They pay attention to their loved ones, and give each and every one of them the special attention that they deserve. These people are relationship builders.

❀ Libra Venus, how does it feel to be god's favorite? These types invoke good feelings in other people. They’re so sweet and have hearts of gold. Good friends and romantic companionships are easy for them to find because their affection comes from a place of authenticity.

✿ People with Saturn in the 7th house wait for what's right for them. They take their commitments seriously and don’t play around with people's feelings. They respect their romantic partners. Their firm boundaries lead to successful relationships.

❀ Walking earth angels have a Sun trine Neptune aspect. They have a divine presence and they don’t get tied up within their own ego. People look to them for spiritual guidance. They uplift the souls of others.

✿ Aquarius Mercurys aren’t afraid to evoke controversy. Sometimes this is needed in the world. If there's an elephant in the room, they’ll point out the obvious. They formulate their own unique thoughts, and are not easily influenced.

❀ People who have their Moon placed within the 4th house know how to make a home. As someone who was raised by a person with this placement, I truly reaped the benefits of this. They keep family traditions alive, or even start new ones. They understand the importance of family and act as the glue that holds everything together.

✿ Those who have a Uranus trine Ascendant aspect make life more interesting. Without them, the world would be a boring place. There is no one like them, and they cannot be replaced. Their quirky nature is endearing. They are such a breath of fresh air.

❀ Taurus Mercurys are so level headed that it has a calming effect upon the people who surround them. They take things slow and are not quick to jump to conclusions. Within group projects or endeavors, they are at the heart of it. People can depend on them.

✿ People who have Uranus in the 10th house prove to others that you can lead an unconventional life and still find success. They don’t follow the rules, and don’t rely on tradition for stability. They inspire others through their free spirit.

❀ When someone has a Venus sextile Saturn aspect within their birth chart, they make relationships that last a lifetime. These people are loyal friends and they know how to maintain the longevity of a relationship. They show up for people when needed and they never make a promise that they can’t keep.

✿ People with a Gemini Venus teach other people how to have fun within relationships. They love innocently and there are no strings attached. They make their friends and loved ones feel like a kid again when in their presence. Their lighthearted approach to love is comedic, they live life as if it were a rom-com.

❀ Cancer 1st housers are quiet leaders. They approach life with a healthy level of confidence. As a leader, they still treat their subordinates with the respect they deserve. They don’t forget about the little people, and are attentive to people who are struggling.

✿ A Saturn trine Neptune aspect allows the native to grow significantly when faced with opposition and challenge. They understand the importance of spiritual lessons, and go out of their way to right their wrongs. They don’t lose sight of what they’re working towards, and won’t lose their sense of morality once they achieve success.

❀ Libra Moons remind people how important it is to incorporate pleasure into life. Working hard means nothing if you don’t stop and appreciate the benefits you’ve gained. Having an appreciation for the little things doesn't mean they’re materialistic.

✿ Uranus 7th houses maintain independence within relationships and don’t lose sight of who they are. They are not going to change who they are just so a relationship can function. They march to the beat of their own drum, you can dance to the music or move along.

❀ People with a Mercury trine Ascendant aspect bring humor into this world. Of course, they’re incredibly smart and their academic skills are impressive. However, they still don’t take themselves too seriously and are full of witty remarks. They share the best memes and are always in the know.

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snaillock · 9 months

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heeyy^x^

i really like ur writings🤭 and i’m happy bc finally someone writes male reader stories

anyway!! i would like to request a sae x gamer/streamer m!reader fic, where the reader is a big gamer and also a twitch streamer, how did sae get along with that, how does sae take it when the reader doesn't pay attention to him because he's playing / chatting with his friends on discord🫣 sorry if i write something wrong english is not my first language😔 had a good day!!

sae itoshi x male!streamer!reader

tysm anon! i’m glad you enjoy my stuff! i also hope you enjoy this and that it’s to your satisfaction

tags: male reader, established relationship, jealous and overthinking sae, surprise! sae also sucks ass at communicating, also lowkey self-indulgent since i secretly dream of being a streamer, doing a different format than what i typically do

sae knows he’s being hypocritical but he simply can’t help it.

he saw the way you would hole yourself up in your office, streaming for several hours straight almost every day. sometimes you wouldn’t even get out to take a break.

you could’ve given yourself a much more laidback schedule thanks to sae’s success and wealth. instead you chose not to rely on him financially and prioritized your self-independence and stability. the only thing you really accepted from him career-wise was the massive clout boost that came with being his boyfriend. not to mention, you just loved the career path you chose, even if it did make you stressed sometimes. so you were more than fine with committing a lot of effort into it despite his insistence.

he understands and relates to how busy your lifestyle can get, yet he can’t help but feel a little neglected when he rarely sees you outside your office during the day and knows you don’t have much time free time to spend with him.

and perhaps he did feel jealous whenever he overheard you and your other streamer friends voice calling and playing games, laughing and cracking jokes with each other.

ugh he hated the idea that he could get jealous at all. he knows he should be more rational about this. he’s supposed to be the rational one! but he can’t help it. you’re his boyfriend! you should be spending your time with him. laughing and making jokes with him.

it’s gotten so bad that he even felt annoyed by your viewers fawning over you. he knew feeling a threatened by them was crazy because who the hell doesn’t know you’re sae itoshi’s boyfriend. anyone would be crazy to try to come in between that. plus he has plenty of his own simps going insane over him. so he of all people should be more than aware of what it’s like to be with someone who’s famous and very out there in the world. he should especially expect this when he’s dating such a good looking guy.

sae has rarely felt insecure about himself either. until his mind started spiraling and he manages to convince himself that he isn’t interesting enough to be with you compared to your gamer friends. he definitely doesn’t say anything to you about it since he doesn’t want you think he’s weak because of it. instead he lets those overcooked insecurities build up even more and more in his head until he starts believing them.

one day he noticed your office door slightly cracked open so he peeked his head in to see you streaming. which you then noticed from the corner of your eye.

“sae!” you spun your chair around to face him. you quickly took off your headphones, forgetting to mute the microphone, and held your arms out with a big smile. “come here baby!”

he was surprised and flustered from your enthusiastic response. how could he not be when he’s been living with those negative ideas about the relationship for a while that he’s gotten so used to them. he reluctantly walked over to you to which you wrapped your arms around his neck, making him bend down to your eye level.

“i’m so sorry i’ve been so busy lately,” you said before cupping his face and planting kisses on his cheeks. “i promise i’ll make it up to you.” his face softened as he felt his worries wash away thanks to your words and kisses.

“alright,” he nodded. everything’s going to be alright. he watched your screen from the corner of his eye as the live chat started going crazy, with a slight smirk on his face.

a.n: when i got this request, i was also working on a much bigger sae fic which should be coming out in a few days or so. it’s currently 2k+ words. so stay tuned and if anyone wants to be tagged when it’s posted, let me know!

i also don’t think i can post a fic without using read more. i always write so fucking much.

#★ snail.writes ★#sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x male reader #blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock x male reader #male reader #scheduled #posting this while listening to weyes blood

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jamiesfootball · 4 months

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Deleted Scene

For the wonderful @alter-alterego who requested for a gift fic-

"a deleted scene: something that just isn't fitting in one of your fics, but you set it aside, hoping to make it work somewhere else" and "a fun way to repurpose some writing - especially if it was a whole "kill your babies" sort of edit that broke your heart to cut it."

-and also some other words were thrown around like hurt/comfort.

So the thing is that I uh.... did not have any deleted scenes.

So.

I wrote one!

This is a deleted scene from Jamie's pov during ch 1 of Oh God You're Gonna Get It (You Have Not Been Given Love), taking place after the conversation on the couch but before the match the next day.

I would not say it necessarily slots into place - it does not have nearly the runway to hit that level of emotional intensity. Instead, I treated it more like a character study, a way to get down a bit of my thoughts on the where Jamie is at now. Refurbishing some writing thought, if you will.

Unfortunately, I did forget some of the comfort here - but the rest of the fic will have lots of comfort so???

Anyways. Thank you for your delightful request, friend. I hope you enjoy.

When awareness crept in behind his sleep-sealed eyes, a handful of problems offered themselves up to Jamie like unwanted presents. The first was that he hadn't brushed his teeth the night before, and his mouth tasted rank and fuzzy as a result. The next, that dried blood caked the inside of his nostrils, leaving behind an unpleasant, iron-tanged stuffiness. Final and worst came a deep and throbbing pain centered around his nose, passing along the message that something was swollen, if not outright bruised.

He'd been handed these gifts before, but crucial pieces were missing from the set. In their place, he'd been given imposters. Restfulness, when it should feel like he'd run a marathon. Something content beckoning him back towards sleep, instead of a familiar set of knives stabbing him in the chest, urging him to go, get away, anywhere but here.

His head felt weighed down by wet, drooping cotton, and that was new too, and in some ways worse than the distant emptiness he'd grown to rely on. At least emptiness knew how to sort out an icepack. Or a concussion. Or whatever it was that had him feeling floaty and lost.

Where the hell was he?

He cracked open his eyes. He didn't recognize the room — which didn't mean much when everyone he knew had more house than they knew what to do with. Still, there was something familiar about it, something that quieted any lingering panic that he might've woken up in a stranger's home.

It was cozy, but clean. Dark, woodsy room with antique lamps — too tasteful for Colin, too muted for Isaac. Art too boring for Sam. Everything far too clean for Dani.

A fuzzy blanket tickled his nose. In the dim light filtering in through the windows, he could see it was covered in unicorns and rainbows, all of it swirling around in a dizzying pattern. Shutting his eyes tight, he tugged it closer; it was surprisingly warm.

The couch was comfier than his too, cradling his shoulder against the cushion instead of pushing his tendons up into his neck until all he had to show for it was a splitting headache. No, this was lush, pliable with age and use. The blanket worn soft like someone cared for it. Made it feel like this was someone's home that Jamie was invading, and that made him feel like, feel —

A sick certainty settled in his stomach that he'd regret everything more when it was light out. Morning Jamie could sort that out. He didn't envy that guy at all.

He chewed his lip, unable to stop picking at the problem. His mouth tasted sour, and the dry ache behind his eyes sang a familiar song. Nausea twisted low in his stomach, and finally there it was, the tightness circling his chest and pulling into a knot. The room smelled like beer—

"Want to grab a beer later?"

"I thought you said I couldn't have beer anymore."

"Well, you're with me, so you get a pass," Roy had said, and Jamie could've floated off the floor with how it made his chest puff up—

Oh.

This was Roy's house.

That's why his face hurt.

Jamie sighed, the building discomfort releasing in a wave of relief that left him dizzy, head floating above the soft cushions like he was balanced on a cloud.

He'd thought for a second-

He'd-

No. He'd been worried for nothing.

This was Roy's house. Made sense then, that his brain had picked up that he weren't anywhere bad. The dark furniture and the leather everything and the grainy wood; it was like the house and the man had been shaped out of the same men's catalogue from the eighties. Everything looked sturdy and settled in place.

He hadn't noticed the bright purple blanket last night, but then he couldn't have said what he did notice. They'd left the bar; everything past that was a whirlwind.

He owed Keeley an apology.

He frowned, worrying at the blanket with his thumb. He'd apologized to Roy. It'd went well, he thought. He hoped. He shouldn't get ahead of himself. He'd said a bunch of words without thinking them through first, and meaning them didn't stop it from feeling like he'd flayed some soft part of himself open with a knife and held out the scraps as a peace offering.

At least with Roy, he had a chance of being offered something back. Some reassurance, at least, that things weren't beyond repair. Whatever it was that brought that familiar growl down to something softer, still rough around the edges but not mean when he was making jokes, egging Jamie on and listening quiet thought while Jamie's thoughts spun circles across the carpet.

Letting Jamie say his peace. Accepting his apology for his behavior. Saying shit like, like he was proud of Jamie, even if Jamie hadn't done much to earn that lately.

Fuck.

And in the week since he'd sent that text to his dad, he hadn't gotten so much as a read receipt—

—which didn't mean anything, did it? Could be that he'd turned them off—

With a little shifting, he found his phone. He flicked it on, ignoring the familiar spike of panic as he did.

No new messages. Good.

Seven-percent battery life. Not good.

3:30 in the morning. Fuck.

Sighing, he switched it off. Looked like he was getting up.

He didn't move.

For once it wasn't the persistent, leaden feeling holding him down — like they'd taken every weight in the gym and tied it to his limbs when he wasn't looking. No, it was just, maybe if he didn't get up, last night wouldn't've happened.

A sickness, hot and sour, pooled in his stomach.

A week ago, he'd been at his mother's house, curled up and making the best out of whatever comfort he could drag towards him like a dying man. But this wasn't the same. He was a visitor here at best, his extended welcome debatable, and there was no one in this house obligated to brush his hair back and tell him if he was making a mistake.

Didn't mean he wouldn't take what he could get now that he'd earned his way in.

It was early. He was warm. Things hurt, but he was at Roy's. Nothing bad would find him here. Everything was fine and there were no unread messages waiting for him on his phone.

A warmed beer smell lingered in the air, musty and rank. He pushed his face further into the couch to get away from it. The couch smelled like old leather and glitter and fabric softener, and it didn't feel waxy or tacky against his skin and it molded around him like a hug. He didn't want to get up. He was tired.

He was so, so tired.

His undrunk beer sat on the table above his head. Now that he noticed the yeasty smell, it cloyed to the air, sinking into everything it touched.

He'd have to get up soon and deal with it. He had a lot of stuff to deal with. He didn't want Roy to think he couldn't handle it.

Since the boot room, he hadn't been able to shake the feeling that he'd gotten away with something. Roy had been nice. Too nice. The kind that had Jamie looking over his metaphoricle shoulder, waiting for the other boot to hit, because Jamie hadn't been professional about it at all. He'd collapsed in on himself, utterly crushed and incapable of hiding it another second, everything sticking and clawing out of him like a staunched wound fighting back.

But then Roy had been dead nice about it and he'd given him a pass and then he'd kept being nice and he'd invited Jamie out for a drink and Jamie had thought he was off the hook.

Knew better now, didn't he? He was on the hook, squirming as well as any other caught worm. The drinks hadn't been about Jamie, at least part of the niceness had been on loan, and his free pass had burned up in front of his eyes before he even knew he only had the one to spare.

Roy expected better of him.

That was fine. Jamie did too. He was up to the challenge; he knew what to avoid now. So in twenty minutes he’d get up. He’d take care of the beer bottles, rinse ‘em out in case Roy was one of those guys that got offended if you wasted his beer. With his phone battery low, he didn't have the juice to call for a pick up — he’d have to make the thirty-minute trek to his house. Unless he got lucky and stumbled across a taxi, that'd put him back at his own place in just under an hour. From there he’d dig out the white vinegar that he kept on hand for emergencies and see if he couldn’t buff out the stain on his chest. Stone Island wasn’t exactly his brand of choice, and they weren't interested in signing him on as a permanent brand ambassador, but they'd been pleasant to work with and they paid well and he’d only had the jacket for three days and he hadn’t been papped in it yet and it’d be fucking embarrassing for everyone involved if he went crying to them that he’d need a new one cause he’d already ruined the first one.

(He'd still do it if he had to though -- it wouldn’t be the first time a little blood threatened a brand deal.) No, one way or another he’d be getting that stain out, didn’t matter how much scrubbing it took. From there he’d inspect whatever was going on with his face. That didn’t bother him as much. Nothing felt broken, and he knew how to make himself look photo-ready for the match. All the small speed bumps sorted, he’d start in on his match day warmups. Nothing intense, just enough to loosen his muscles up.

His socked foot poked out of the bottom of the blanket. He twisted his ankle experimentally. Slowly, it cranked through the rotations, gummy and awkward like stuck hands on a clock. A lot tighter than it should be. Physios wouldn't be happy with him, but that worry came as an afterthought. He'd play the full ninety. They all knew it.

After warmups, he'd take a shower— His eyes stung, suddenly hot and warm. He pulled the blanket tighter around himself. He’d take a shower; do the whole routine. Wasn’t happening again. Loud and clear. From there he’d pop round to Nelson road. Bit early, even for him, but he hoped to catch Ted before the coach got swept up in pressers and the like. He wanted to thank him, properly, for all he’d done to help Jamie and straighten him out over the years. He knew Lasso had a busy schedule and a quick turnaround to get home, and Jamie wouldn’t take up too much of his time. He just- he needed to say it. He had his fingers crossed that it’d be one of their better talks — the kind that left him feeling pleased with himself and a bit like he could float on air — instead of one of the awkward, stilted ones that fizzled out between his fingers and left him feeling wrong-footed and confused, like he'd put his elbows on the table or committed some other social fake paw that he was supposed to know about by now.

But just in case it did go like that, he'd still have said it, and he’d still have left himself plenty of time to screw his head on before the match. He was a professional after all. Give him a few minutes recovery in the storage room that wasn't Higgins' office anymore, and by the time the lads started filtering in, he’d be fine. Then they’d start the real pre-match march. Light workout and pre-game presser. Meal time, then the real warmups, the ones meant to get your blood flowing and your food settled. Cleanup, out of practice kit, into training kit. Let the physios at him again with their magic tape. Into the tunnel to mingle with the reporters: soundbites, heart-warming stories, all the patter ('Why, yes, West Ham has played a strong year, 'course I’ve got my eye on City-always do, don’t I? No I don’t give a flying fuck if Zava’s got a scorpion named after him now, fuck off—") Well hopefully no one’d ask him about Zava. Not a match had passed without some journo brining him up, but maybe the possibility of them winning the league would be enough to shut them up for once, instead of it turning into yet another retrospective on how Zava's head start was the reason the team had made it this far in the rankings. Pricks. Then it’d be speech time. Jamie didn’t understand what it was about gaffers and speeches, but they’d seemed to all agree in their mysterious gaffer ways that it was the one time you were allowed to be emotional in front of the players. Ted usually didn’t have that problem, but he certainly never shied away from the chance to one-up himself with a game day speech. It was sure to be a good one. Then nothing else would matter, cause there’d be the match. Everything made sense on the pitch.

Jamie knew what he had to do on the pitch. Nothing could touch him on the pitch.

No one was ever waiting for him on the pitch. He wondered if they won, if he’d come back to find a message on his phone. He wondered if they lost, if he’d come back to find a message on his phone. He checked his phone again. 3:50am. 6% battery. He turned off the screen and shut his eyes. In ten minutes, he’d get up. Sort out his life. Win the league. In ten minutes. Until then, he’d try to enjoy what he had. Warm blanket. A nice place to sleep. No new messages on his phone. An ankle and a nose that weren’t broken. People who’d welcomed him inside. People who'd forgiven him for his mistakes. It was enough.

He just had to make sure he didn't mess it up.

#gift fic #fic: oh god you're gonna get it (you have not been given love)#jamie tartt #roy kent #ted lasso fic #fuck jamie's dad #injury #fic: deleted scene

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bladeweavedance · 2 months

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Ship Meme Part 3 (Apologies)

Next is one of my favorites - Horny Level!

Like as soon as Gale doesn't have to worry about the orb going off, he's immediately bringing up "other forms of stimulation." ROFLMAO He's a slow-burn romance, and I definitely get the impression that he wants a confirmation of love at least before engaging in such an act, but otherwise… The man is out of his mind with horniness. Literally. ("What's on your hind? I mean mind…") So, he gets filled all the way up.

Wyll is much more patient. Much more chaste. It's not that he doesn't experience desire because in his proposal scene, if you suggest rejecting "forever" with him but wanting to still spend the night with him (and all that implies), Wyll will be all "Gods, I want you" (but it's a very high Persuasion check to get him to agree - because he wants your heart, not just your body). Also his whole "Godsdamnit. You almost make me forget myself." He's horny (in more than just horns), but he's ultimately very strongly guided by his heart and idealistic notions of a fairy tale romance, so I put his horniness at heart-level.

Awkwardness level. Gale is a charming gentleman, but yeah, we've all seen how awkward he can get. LOL Put him neck-deep in awkwardness because occasionally his charm and politeness can win out over it.

Wyll is even more charming than Gale and doesn't even have to rely on "proper" social etiquette and politeness to get him through (he can curse and fit in with common folk just fine). But at the same time, he's… Well, he kind of toes the line between extremely cool and extremely dorky (and I absolutely love him for that). Couple that with his being rather oblivious to flirtations (he mentions this in a banter), his inexperience with relationships, and the fact that he loves clowns of all things - then, yeah. Let's put him at half-awkwardness. LOL

Jealousy-level… Yeah, Gale is definitely the jealous type who will be glaring daggers the moment someone utters a word remotely flirty towards his significant other, but I don't see him as being toxically jealous and I do think he has at least enough sense to "use his brain" and calm himself down before he says or does anything too rash (hence why it's filled all the way up except to brain level).

I see Wyll as being far more easy-going; though, I imagine if someone were to push things or be just a little too aggressive with their flirting with his partner, he would definitely get riled. So, I put him at halfway here again.

#bladeweave #wyll x gale #wyll ravengard #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #ship meme stuff #this is the last of it #i write a lot #please forgive me part 3 #i love them your honor

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rmorde · 7 months

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Just thinking about how Gojo's dream of having strong allies (aka peers on the same level as he does) may have been impossible in the end.

As both seen in the recent chapter and episode, Gojo is extremely lonely. It's perhaps one of the factors why he was still latching on to Suguru so strongly because once upon a time, he was there beside Gojo and treated him like a person. He craves that kind of connection again.

Gojo is a lonely god yearning to be human. However, he can't because if he stops being their "god", the world would fall apart. So, what he tried to do is raise people who can become "gods" like him to change the world into something that would not rely on him anymore.

It's a good plan on paper. Gojo's enthusiasm for it makes it even better.

However, a problem lies on these people Gojo wanted to become "god-like". They can never picture themselves as his equal. They only ever see themselves as a burden to him and never allies on the field.

In Shibuya, they let Gojo go in alone. Every single one of them believed that since he is The Strongest, he should be left to deal with the problem on his own. They are there as back-up and not allies to fight alongside him (like how Suguru used to if we go by the Hidden Inventory OP).

In Shinjuku, the same thing happened again. Everyone's faith on Gojo blinded them into becoming back-up instead of field allies. They all depended on Gojo too much because he is The Strongest for them. As far as they are concerned: if they fight with him, they'll just be a burden.

It's just sad. Gojo's abilities does encourage the idea of him being a lone fighter. However, the higher-ups constantly sending him on solo missions and him succeeding likely reinforced a false idea - that he works better alone and everybody bought it:

Geto thought Gojo didn't need him anymore. Obviously, not.

Nanami stopped striving to reach Gojo's level. Gojo highly thinks of him enough to be shocked at his death.

All the students thought not to "jump" Sukuna with him because "they'd only get in his way" and hold him back. Gojo believed they could be on his level and likely hoped that they could fight back-to-back with him.

This could just be some pointless ramblings. But it's really strange and sad. Often times while reading Gojo vs Sukuna, I kept thinking why is no one else helping? Jumping is a legit strategy in JJK. Even Sukuna used it on Gojo. Why is this a one-on-one fight? It's cool and awesome but why? Fanservice of course!

It's why I felt for Yuta when he tried to go out to help but backed out and apologize for it. I cannot imagine how much he'd be thinking he is at fault now after Gojo died.

I don't blame the students or even the adults about what happened tho. It's just... the culture (?) or expectation (?) ingrained on them by the jujutsu society. As for Gojo, he just got used to fighting alone and he needed to reassure everyone else. It cannot be helped. So, off he goes on his own.

Now I'm getting depressed. Gojo was so lonely that he reached out to Sukuna of all people in the middle of a fight. That's just how starved he is of connecting with someone anyone as Satoru Gojo (the person) and not The Strongest.

I know that he is aware that there are people who adore him but they always see and remember him for his power most of all. The "Interview: What do you think of Gojo Satoru?" just hammers it down. Everyone's common answer about their perception of him is "The Strongest". For them, he is Gojo Satoru because he is The Strongest.

I guess Sukuna saying "I'll remember you for as long as I live" is his own way of saying the opposite? You are the Strongest (of this era) because you are Gojo Satoru. And he promises to never forget that.

So, Sukuna treated Gojo like a person - something the latter had been wanting since Suguru left him. Could that be why Gojo smiled before his death?

FUCK NO! I DON'T ACCEPT THAT! WTH?! SUKUNA STOLE WHAT SHOULD'VE BEEN GOJO'S STUDENTS' ROLE! THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE MAKING GOJO FEEL LIKE A PERSON AGAIN! EVEN SHOKO SAID SO!

I really really hope Gege clarifies things next chapter. I can't accept the idea that it was fucking Sukuna that freed Gojo from his loneliness. I know I was joking about it before that they're becoming besties. But seriously, it's just frustrating to think about.

I sincerely wish Gojo's expression towards Sukuna was not a grateful smile but a pitying smirk instead (which I interpreted first). It would be so unfair to Yuji, Yuta, and everybody else.

#jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jjk spoilers #sukuna stole gojo from his students #sukuna robbed them of their chance to free their teacher from loneliness #i wish these ideas of mine are wrong #wait... could this be why geto was crying too?#he realized how fucked up gojo's situation was and it severely fucked gojo's head that he actually tried to befriend the king of curses?!#this is bad brain rot! bad brain rot!!

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thousand-winters · 6 months

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give me your thoughts on Darius' mentor [politely holds you at gunpoint]

Friend spotted!!! 💖 Hiiiiiii.

Okay, as any normal Darius fan... I have Many™.

First of all, I kinda do think Hunter was the youngest grimwalker (in general or recently), so I imagine the mentor was created as a teenager/almost adult, not straight up an adult because Belos still needed him to be more easy to manipulate and he did enough trial and error to have some basics on that down.

However, because he was most likely first or second Golden Guard after the establishment of the Empire, I think he managed to get away with way more than Hunter did, he was in a way the cautionary tale Belos took as reference later to deprive Hunter of more freedom. I tend to figure he was Golden Guard for at least 5-ish years at least? Before taking Darius as his mentee. I don't imagine he had the same "forbidden from talking to others" rule Hunter had because otherwise the mentorship situation would be really strange, but I highly doubt he really had any close connections anywhere, even if he was friendly with many people. That kind of person that, when he died, made everyone go "oh, that's a tragedy, he was so nice" and then promptly forget because he was not a major, deep presence in anyone's lives other than Darius'.

Now more on headcanon territory, I usually think of him in terms of his relationship with Darius since... well, it's the most obvious connection we have.

I feel like the mentor was pretty much a case of "this is not messed up, this is totally normal and... then why I don't want to inflict it on this kid I care about? If it's so alright, then why it makes me ill to think of doing that to him?", his connection with someone completely external from the coven (at that point) must have pushed him to reevaluate a lot about what he believed to be true, but it would have been hard, especially if he had enough "freedom" to have a mentee, then it wouldn't even occur to him that he's being abused in any way.

How long I think the mentorship lasted usually varies, but mostly I like to think Darius might have been picked when he was a teenager, especially if he had ambitions to join the EC (and that would have caused trouble in his friendship with Odalia, but that's another thing), though young adult is also alright depending on the day I'm thinking about this. I imagine it must have lasted a couple of years at least, because it left quite the impact on Darius. In my headcanons, Darius at least got to the trials to become a Coven Head before the mentor's death.

Personality wise, I like to think of him as seemingly easy going. Once again, the kind of person who seems to get along with everyone but of course no one knew him at such a deep level that they noticed what was going on with him. ALTHOUGH I imagine he was like that inside the coven, and mostly with scouts and so on. I don't tend to think much about his relationship with the Coven Heads because I imagine they kinda avoided each other, simply didn't connect paths enough for it to matter, but I think the mentor would have been clever enough to be nice in a poisonous way with them, sort of like Terra.

With Darius... with Darius I don't think he fully liked him at first. Don't get me wrong, I imagine he might have been the one to pick him as mentee, but I don't think it would have been his intention to get attached to him until... uh oh, suddenly he realizes he is. So I imagine he was very cold and to the point as an instructor at first, and he softened up over time. Related to that, I tend to think of young Darius as still confident, but doubting himself a bit, I think of Darius as a very social person who does rely in his connections to others when the circumstances are good, and mentorship times Darius would have just lost most if not all of his friendships so I feel like he would have been a bit less sure of himself than normal, and that would have made the mentor have to become a bit more encouraging to him out of necessity. Falling into the attachment trap right there.

With people he really trusted (which unfortunately might have been just Darius), I like to headcanon him as very straightforward, playful and teasing. Very good liar tho, he had to be to be able to keep up his Golden Guard persona at the same time, not letting much slip through the cracks and making Darius only realize something was wrong until he was already dead.

#damn. that was long. the mentor is just SUCH a fascinating topic #he can be so many ways but what i never doubt is he cared about darius #he cared so much that it affected darius to the point that he ended up organizing a rebellion bc of him. in his honor and memory in a way #this is all stuff i assume when writing aleron (my mentor oc) btw. i have like one fic out with him there but i have wips too #the owl house #toh #darius deamonne #previous golden guard

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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Hi, I have hard executive dysfunctions but had some (temporary) results using to-do apps and stuff. For everything, brushing teeth, eating, etc. But it always end (very quickly) by me adding 30+ to dos for a day and working 10 hours to get them done until I break down. I can't not do it. Once I think about it, there is sooo much to do, so much I neglected.

So I saw this nice bullet journal in a shop today and took it with me and need some ideas how to make it, to not end like the others:

I thought about a symptom part, how good did I sleep, what mental health issues do I have, etc pp.

I am completely unsure if I should ad any "chore to-dos" or only self care/mental health ones. But even those feel like chores so...

And my energy level varies strongly so I thought about keeping it vague like idk "do one relaxing thing"-like maybe. So I could decide on that day, what I think I will get done. But that's pretty unsatifying.

Ah and, as much as I love such book and diaries etc, writing it down feels like a chore too so... It sounds worse than it is, I had some results but everything in this world sounds like a chore so I am unsure how to make this fun and manageable and neither go to the extreme nor give up.

Give me all your ideas and examples and plans.

Hi anon,

As soon as I saw your ask I just knew I wanted to answer it ~ I have ADHD, but because of other chronic health issues - I cannot take stimulant medications for it and rely on my adaptations to manage symptoms (and yup, some of my mental energy does get used up doing it this way - but it is possible for some of us!). I wanted to start by sharing some resource links and articles first:

The Best Work Schedule for ADHD Brains: Flexible or Rigid? (with resources at the end, and lots of reflections from a variety of folks who benefit from both - great starting point to see which style resonates with you)

Adults With Executive Function Disorder (scroll about halfway down for tips and resources)

Tips and Tricks for Executive Function Disorder (geared towards the caretaker of a child with it, but still impactful suggestions, including movement breaks and reward systems)

Executive Function Disorder: Bullet Journal (one person’s personal bullet journal and how an adaptable reward system - shaped like a bingo card - really helped them)

But also wanted to share what I use/tell myself throughout the day/week to help: (under the cut to help avoid the post getting super long)

I personally use an adapted planner for the overall schedule, it’s got enough blank spaces where if I want to “change it up” I can do that week to week, but in general this is the place where I store my overall monthly calendar and every Sunday night write out my week ahead of “big things” (apps, time sensitive errands, etc).

I take a picture of my monthly calendar, as well as my weekly so even if I’m out and about I can quickly refer to it if someone asks about a date - versus saying “I’ll check my calendar later and get back to you” . . . and then - never doing it, whoops!

People in my life are used to it by now, but essentially if someone tells me something like “next weekend is so and so’s birthday” - I’ll take a moment to set an alarm reminder to add it to my calendar when I’m home, and or make a text message note on my phone, and set an alarm that essentially reads “don’t forget to add your text notes to the calendar” (some days I can have like fifteen alarms going off throughout the day, but this way I also manage to add the information I need to, versus feeling like I’m constantly forgetting something, or worse, expending limited mental energy constantly cycling through a “don’t forget don’t forget don’t forget” concentration).

I timeblock my day every morning before everyone else is awake, for example: 7 to 8 - studies, 9 to 10 - social, and so on. By doing it every day, I can refer back to it throughout the day and adjust as needed but also not plan too far ahead with no adaptability to changing circumstances. I also ensure that for a chunk of “serious chores” I also schedule in what I like to call “serotonin boosts” - whether that’s some friends time, or creative time, whatever sparks joy for you. There have definitely been days where I felt like I could not do one more email - and then reminded myself that as soon as I got through the five I scheduled myself for, then I could draw for an hour (a basic ‘this, then that’ reward system). Suddenly, I manage to push through it, and often quicker than I had originally thought it would take - allowing me to have even more time with something that brings joy.

If I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I set several alarms, almost like a countdown

I like to use fun color pens, or even pens with like fuzzy balls, or some other sort of stimming part to it as I work - it allows me a moment to stim if I need it, even when I’m tackling the “boring brain dump” stuff.

No amount of telling my brain “just do it” for twenty minutes is going to magically create the dopamine/serotonin it needs to do the thing. So if a reward isn’t working, I get up and move with a timer to get it going that way, and then try again.

I’m sure there’s plenty more ideas/tips/tricks - anyone stumbling on this, please feel free to comment, reblog, and add to it, but I hope it’s a helpful start for you and anyone else out there looking for adaptions. - Mod Kat

#trauma talks #mod kat #executive function disorder

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jeysuso · 1 year

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Jimmy is starting to really annoy me. He never seems to be paying attention when shit is really going down, he just stands there and smiles like everything is OK. Jey was pouring his heart our in the ring a few weeks ago and it was like it didn't even register what he was saying. I just never understand why anyone would want Jey to stay and protect his brother when imo he doesn't even deserve it half of the time, and I love Jimmy but he's so selfish that it's difficult to ignore.

yeah, i get that. i can completely understand why someone would feel frustrated with jimmy right now, and, honestly, i've had moments where i'm just like "really, bro. you're gonna just stand there and smile right now?" because it feels a little out of place, like when jey was - like you said - bearing his soul in the ring about why he kicked sami and jimmy was just stood there, nodding along. but, like. the thing with jimmy that i think a lot of people forget because it isn't focused on as much is that jimmy has been through just as much with roman as jey has. he's a victim of roman, too.

the rest is under a read-more cause bro this is long i'm sorry

in fact, i think in some ways, jimmy is worse off than jey. because on some twisted, fucked-up level, roman loves jey. he respects him. he knows jey is a real threat to him, he knows jey holds power, and he respects that jey is a competent adversary to him. that's why it's so important to roman to keep jey in line. but jimmy? what is jimmy to roman, really? what has he been to roman, this entire time? nothing more than a pawn. he's nothing more than a weapon roman uses to beat jey down with. three times now roman has successfully used jimmy to weaken jey, to get him to fall in line. and it works every time because jimmy is jey's weakness. that's all roman sees him as, a way to get to jey. he doesn't respect jimmy. he doesn't, in his own fucked-up way, love jimmy in the same way he loves jey. when jimmy came back and jey disappeared in 2021, jimmy didn't become the right-hand man. jimmy became the messenger boy. he was never first-choice, never even second-choice. he's never been anything more to roman than just a soldier. jey's been the right-hand man, jey's been given responsibility, he's been relied on. all jimmy is good for, to roman, is giving him jey.

he doesn't take jimmy seriously in the slightest. in my opinion, if jimmy challenged roman for the titles, do you know what i think would happen? roman would laugh at him. that's it. he wouldn't even consider the possibility that jimmy's being serious, or entertain the thought. jimmy could hit roman square in the face, and roman wouldn't even blink, because he does not view jimmy as anything to worry about, anything to care about, anything to even waste his time thinking about. jimmy is the fun one. the goofy one. he's the one who makes the jokes and never gets anything done - jey is the one who gets things done. the serious one. the dependable one. it's been like that this whole time between the three of them, that dynamic has always existed, and it's still there now. even when jey disappeared in january, at no point did roman even consider jimmy as any kind of replacement. he just put him in charge of finding his brother and using that connection he knows the usos have to his own advantage. fuck, he even told jey that he loved him more than jimmy did. i think when jimmy said roman was jealous of him, he was right. he's jealous because he has that relationship with jey that roman could only dream of having. jey would choose jimmy over roman every time, no hesitation, and roman hates him for it.

idk, man. i just think jimmy's part in this gets overlooked a lot. i get being frustrated with him, but i don't think he's stupid. i think he knows exactly what's going on but i also think he knows there's nothing they can do about it. i think it was fairly obvious during his arguments with sami that he knows there's truth to what everyone says about roman - jimmy's even called roman abusive before himself so he's fully aware - he just knows that he isn't stronger than roman, that jey isn't stronger than roman, that it's easier if they just go along with it, and that if either of them go against him, it's their entire family they're risking.

even though me, personally, i believe if jimmy took a stand against roman, he'd be the only one that was punished. unlike jey who gets threatened with his entire family. i don't think roman even cares enough about jimmy that he'd make them all suffer like he would with jey. he'd just swat him away like an annoying insect, spare him no more thought than that.

#anon ask #💜#ask #cw: long post #jimmy uso #i love jimmy man. he annoys me but i love him #very very much #he's just as stuck as jey and i think it's easily forgottn #cause the focal point is always jey #but bro. roman was gonna just fuckin punish jimmy for no reason #to roman jimmy is expendable. he means nothing #it's heartbreaking

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heart-forge · 1 year

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wow i did not even think about the logistics of ice cream in a post-apocalyptic scenario. now i'm curious about other things like sunscreen and coughdrops. do they make their own sunscreen? i'm assuming it didn't all spontaneously combust with the collapse of society, but where do they find it? it's kind of necessary for pale people because i spend like 15 minutes in the sun and end up burned.. and there are other things like what do they do for periods? just free bleed? cloth pads?

and also are they just relying on clothes and fabric they find? eventually they will run out, yes? are there settlements that spin cotton into thread, then weave the thread into fabric? actually is there trade between settlements? like milk for wool or something??? do they give each other advice? i know like with our settlement and roaches people, they hate each other and people are assholes sometimes, but i feel like some people must have realized it's easier to live if we don't hate each other

are there groups of people that are nomadic? or is it generally agreed that it's better to settle in one place and defend it really well? what did the farm that zed came from look like?? was it defended? did zed and their guardian just assume that everyone else assumed it was abandoned, or that there weren't enough people nearby for it to be a problem? was the farm chosen carefully or was it like whatever this is fine?? what were they doing there, just surviving and maintaining the farm??

also does zeds guardian talk to plants also? i'm assuming yes but i don't know if thats been stated. i'm going to go ahead and assume the farm was super far from other people because a giant wall or something doesn't make sense to me and if there was a giant wall around something near my house i would die to get in so that feels counter-intuitive. also if there are more zeds out there i feel like people would like kidnap them or something to use their powers because people are shitty and that--

--feels like something they would do, or like.. shoot them. so it would make sense for them to be isolated too, so there must be more zeds on more farms with more guardians somewhere, assuming there are more zeds. were the people that raided the farm hunting zeds???? mysteries. anyway i hope you enjoy the four additional asks about zed and the hybrid world.

sorry that cut off so abruptly my thoughts did that too

jfdsjk that's fine that's usually how I generate lore in the first place.

I swear to GOD that I've literally talked way too much about the sunblock thing but searching "sun" "block" "sunblock" and "sunscreen" gave me nothing but a man doesn't just FORGET researching ancient egyptian skin protection, because there was a thing in there about skin bleaching so I left that ingredient out when I talked about it because it had no bearing on the actual recipe.

But the gist of it is that industry invented itself within the past two centuries, so there was a period immediately post-apocalypse where shit was a real mess, but at this point settlements can either produce or trade for things like sun block, wool, dairy products (depending on how close they are to the settlement to trade), all kinds of stuff.

As far as clothes and pads go, that has a lot to do with the right now. Right now, you can look up how to make your own cloth pads that are reusable. Right now, there's so much textile waste that's 100% overproduced clothing being thrown out at the retail level instead of actually circulated once it fails to sell. Clothing and fabric are pretty easy to get a hold of, and they're still able to make stuff like yarn from wool and stuff. Hybrid takes place in a post post apocalypse: the delicate Fallout question of who knows if who is where and when and if they're willing to share resources is something that's already gone through an initial stage of confrontation. Like you said, people can be assholes, especially if they feel like they have power or resources that someone else doesn't: but it wouldn't be unusual for a settlement to have trade routes set up along honestly pretty old routes.

Nomadic people definitely exist, especially those that come from a historically nomadic culture. A lot of video games do a very coy wink and wiggle towards nomadic Romani traditions, various groups of indigenous peoples across the world, stray lore picked up from early Hebrew tradition, all kinds of groups (for better or worse, yikes)! I feel fairly confident that given the opportunity to wander in groups without the interference of people throwing a fit over whether or not you can stay, for how long, and what you can do while you're there, I'm sure more than just the people with a rich history of nomadic lifestyles would jump at the chance. Wandering groups of #vanlife people, plus like, just regular people who were relieved that passports and cops stopped existing.

I've never explicitly stated that anyone but Zed can canonically communicate with plants (yet), but that was definitely a big part of keeping the farm hidden. "The Farm" also doesn't necessarily imply much land at all: it was self sustaining, but my parents do that every summer with a corner of the fields cordoned off for a garden. Realistically their "farm" is a very small parcel of land surrounded by plants who think the weird little guy who lives there is? Pretty chill.

And I did like answering this! Thank-you 💚💚💚💚

#talkForge #hybrid

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arson-the-clown · 11 months

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Prompt 2: "Have you Been Drinking? You look terrible." Jeff the Killer and Eyeless Jack

"Have you been drinking? You look terrible. Well, you smell terrible" Eyeless Jack turned to face his good friend Jeff as he entered the small abandoned home EJ had been camping out in for the past few months. Jeff and EJ were known for picking areas around each other since they tender to rely on each other so heavily, but Jeff was nothe kind of person to stomp his way up to EJ's door reaking of liquor.

"Fuck dude I haven't even made it through the door yet." Jeff grumbled in his harsh voice, damaged in a fire long ago.

EJ have a small, almost imperceptible laugh "You smell like mud and cheap rum and you're walking like you haven't slept in a week. You aren't exactly being the most careful right now."

There was a thump against the floor, and then EJ felt Jeff's presence move closer and sit on the rotting couch perpendicular to the rotting armchair EJ himself sat on.

Jeff let out a long breath "It's this case Slender has me on. This kid has me fucked up dude. He's getting under my skin in all the wrong ways."

That struck EJ as odd. Not much actually bothered Jeff. Hell, not much made Jeff feel anything other than mildly agrivated as far as EJ knew. "Well, tell me about this kid then. Though once again I'll state that I don't know why you bother bending over backwards for faceless and dickless."

Jeff groaned "I'm not getting into this shit with you again dude. As a human it benifits me to have someone with some actual oompf on my side in case shit goes sideways. I might be able to take down really almost any human, sure, but you know that's not all we have to fucking deal with."

EJ tightened his grip on his cane slightly, as it had been a gift from Jeff and while he didn't need it, it did bring him comfort "What am I, chopper liver?" he gave in, knowing that as much as he despised it Jeff made a fair point "But I digress."

"Ok so" Jeff paused to light up a cigarette, where he got them EJ would never know "This kid is fucking with my head dude. I woke up the other day and-and he had a whole ass meal for breakfast made for me. Scrambled eggs and shit. I came home, well back to the asylum anyway, and he cleaned and sewed up my cuts. Look at this shit!" He must have rolled up his sleeve, but he certainly stuck his arm out at him.

EJ tilted his head slightly "Jeff I can't look at anything. I don't have eyes."

He could practically head Jeff's eyes roll in his head, then felt Jeff walk forward and he grabbed EJ's arm, placing it againt some sewn together cuts in Jeff's cool skin. EJ nodded and then pulled his hand away "Thank you"

"I'm sorry Jack I don't know how the fuck I still forget after all these years man."

"I'm really not worried about it. This kid sounds good for you. He's taking care of you. I'm almost jealous."

Jeff sighed "Nah, man. I worry about this kid. He barely talks but when he does it's with the most mindblowing observations. Hell, he even surprises me without talking. I came back in a bad mood one day and he made me a cup of tea, brought me the book I was reading, and made me dinner. It's like having a husband who forgot how to talk."

"Maybe that's what you need" EJ observed "Someone to bring you routine and structure."

"I guess, but he's so damn quiet I know almost nothing about him."

EJ sat back in his chair and began to consider this, but Jeff sat oh his feet and began to lay his head in EJ's lap.

"You're concerned about not being able to return the favor. That if you don't he'll think himself ill used or neglected in some way."

Jeff sighed "Yeah, I guess. That's one way of putting it."

EJ began to gently run his fingers through Jeff's hair as he spoke "Thankfully for you, in this your reputation precedes you. You're Jeff the Killer. I hardly think he'll expect anything in return. But, if you want my honest opinion, the best thing I can suggest is to pay attention to him in return. Offer the same level of respect and intimacy."

"Ugh Jaaaack."

"Shush, I know it's work, but the way you two work together will be so much smoother and less annoying for it."

"Thanks Jack. You're the best."

EJ wouldn't have said this next part if he thought Jeff would remember it, but he could feel Jeff growing heavy with slumber in his lap.

"Just remember, he'll never know you like I know you. He'll never know how hard you struggled to get on your feet, let alone build up the courage to talk to Slender. He'll never know that you prefer beef stew to chicken soup when sick, that your face feels so much younger in your sleep, that you secretly envy the proxies though you don't think anyone has ever noticed they way you stare at them. Or-" EJ stopped himself with a sigh "I suppose none of that will ever matter though. It seems yet again you are the blind one. Or perhaps I'm just too close for you to see. No matter. Regardless, I'll guard you while you sleep. Lord knows you need it. "

#creepypasta #jeff the killer #eyeless jack #creepypasta fanfic

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fumifooms · 2 years

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Do you have any headcanons about Larys' childhood ? Or Larycent relationship during the ten-year time skip ?

I do! They’re not anything super original or developed, nothing set in stone for me, but I have a few points this is making me think of. I think there is no way Larys is not neurodivergent, and I don’t think it’s PTSD. I think Larys has autism, because it just makes sense and as an autistic person myself I can’t not see it in him lol. I think Larys is a generally lonely person, and I’mma use this to brainstorm about my thoughts of how he grew up. There’s so much to theorize about him even knowing so little, I’mma dissect him like a frog.

Uhh uh ok this is gonna be structured like a mess, but… Tldr: Cynicism as defense mechanism. Growing up having to rely on yourself because of emotional neglect and gaslighting + ostracization/loneliness. I think his family was decent to him, or good without being perfect, but just being sidelined for his difference was enough for him to grow resentful to the point of willingly killing them (though I do think part of his cold blooded murdering is just fueled by nihilism).

Needless to say, Larys’ disability affected how he grew up, so much. It affected his very worldview, and his dying wish is telling. The latter lets us know that he does not accept his own disability, in a being comfortable in your own skin way. He uses it as an advantage when he can, but he is not at peace with it. Listen, chronic pain is a bitch, if you’re in a position that your limb is making you pissed af and you’d like to become an amputee, I support you bro, but for Larys it is so obviously and explicitely about how his clubfoot was a social burden, rather than a crippling condition in itself. “Please cut it off of so I may at last be free of it in death” just screams inner peace. I think his awkward silent creeping thing is trauma. Making yourself easy to forget and overlook to better spy on people in plain sight, being unseen to remain safe and in control. And then the awkwardness, though as many have pointed out is also a way of making himself look harmless and friendly, is also just that, awkwardness because he’s not sure what the right demeanor is and he doesn’t want to put off people. We’ve seen him be fidgety and awkward with Alicent in the garden, then after the fire of Harrenhal when their relationship got more strained, but also, even in -sigh- the foot scene in ep 9, and in that case there is no reason to pretend to be someone harmless to someone who knows him that much, so he’s just genuinely a fidgety awkward mess. Anyways so yeah, a subconscious behavior developed as a survival tactic, all o’ that. Also the autism just makes one awkward tbh. Which, I still think he’s introverted don’t get me wrong, that his quiet nature is, well, his nature, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a part of it that is “I have to be like this, because there’s nothing else out there for me” and “being seen by people only brings me pain”. Anyways, recovering from the slight tangent.

Let’s address the resentment he has for his family yayyyy!! So the thing is I think Larys’ family was generally supportive, or at least at surface level. It’s really common for people to mean well with disabled/different people, but for things to still hurt/be toxic. I imagine Harwin to be the kind of successful brother that’s like “it’s ok, we still love you even if you’re useless 🥰” and since he’s a protective older brother, to kinda infantilize him in a way, to assume he can’t do much of anything except maybe mind games which he’d see as below athletic abilities/exploits imo, so that would definitely make Larys have some resentment towards him even if Harwin doesn’t notice it at all. It’d make Larys feel that he’s always second best, or only slightly better than the worst possible. Mostly though, I really think the family just wanted to ignore the issues and keep silence rather than talk about things and be actually supportive. Lyonel strikes to me that way with how he’d deal with a disabled son. Do not address it. I imagine Larys to have grown very very sheltered. As a noble son who can’t just waltz everywhere anyways, I don’t think he would often be in position to get bullied directly much at all, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t bigotry. That doesn’t mean Larys isn’t treated differently, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t suffer from microagressions. What I think with how he grew up is that he kind of got gaslighted about it all. He would notice all these things, because of course he would, and then everyone in his life would be uncomfortable with the topic when he brings it up and be like “no you’re wrong, everything is fine, I’m going to protect your sensitive soul and make it so you don’t even need to know there is a problem”. Why do people laugh when he passes by, whisper when they see his twisted boot? Why does the air always feel off when he’s talking to people? Why do people lower their expectations in everything when it comes to him, why is he never considered, or asked to give input? There’s this common belief that just because an elephant in the room isn’t adressed, then kids aren’t affected by it. The truth is that kids are extremely, highly perceptive, they sense things and instinctively know if something is off. Even if it only causes slight discomfort in the moment, they can grow to realize it affected them a lot later on. Trauma can be really insidious. I think that that’s how Larys grew up, having to rely on himself to puzzle out the truth and intentions behind interactions. To observe people, and make out how what he learns can be useful to him. It’s a survival instinct. It’s a defense mechanism. He’s always had to rely on himself to see how it truly is. I think his hatred for his clubfoot is something that gradually grew and creeped on him as he grew up, just this unspoken sense that it took every opportunity at belonging away from him, and he targeted his resentment towards it while growing emotionally detached from the rest of the world.

And then, the nihilistic convincing himself that he doesn’t care thing, that his family and love doesn’t matter in the grand scale of life: that’s a coping mechanism. I think that Larys thinks he’s special, that he’s apart, enlightened. He has to, because if not, then what’s his special ability that makes him worthwhile? What explains that he’s had to live his whole life feeling like he was different than others, if not a type of superiority, of different wit that people simply could not handle? That’s trauma, and it’s painful and life shattering to get out of mindsets like that. It’s a whole worldview and self-image that you need to break down and say, “you’re wrong, these are your emotions speaking, because all these events hurt you so much more than you allowed yourself to believe”. Anyways so yeah that’s what I think his deal is. I do think it’s supported by how he’s like “ooh oh Alicent and I are just the same. We’re the only people in the world who gets it. She’s special and I’m special, we’re special together” with his kinda obsession with her. He sees her being sidelined and overlooked, quiet and miserable, and he immediately latches on to that and sees her as a kindred spirit. Brrr autism makes you seek out other social rejects. (Also we all acknowledge Helaena is autistic af right? Autism is hereditary, Alicent could very well be 😏 she’s just good at masking, like hundreds of irl women who go decades never being diagnosed. I can def see it in her character, though I’m far from ride or die with that hc)

That with never being invited to speak, written off and forgotten and invisible. There was definitely favoritism with Harwin from Lyonel. Larys had to grow up seeing Harwin be successful and the perfect strong firstborn son, while he was pushed aside and considered a failure before he even attempted anything. It makes someone want to prove them wrong. It makes someone want to show them that they, too, can discard of them once they are successful. Cough cough fire of Harrenhal-

Also I don’t think he has a particular relationship to bugs or firefly (though something like him going to see them as a routine in the riverlands for one reason or another could be cool), I think it’s more about the symbolism of it, since we see he’s a huge fan of metaphors, and that he values nature and doesn’t see humans as better than insects so there’s kind of this connection and acknowledgment, haha it always comes back to autism ayy.

For less wide stuff/more specific headcanons, I thought I didn’t have any, but... I suppose, Larys has read books a lot, just because moving is a pain and he can’t do sports, and learning of stuff through books probably is freeing. A whole world of knowledge and vicarious experiences at his fingertips. But we’ve seen Larys still goes places, he was there at the royal hunt just standing around and hanging out. I think he tends to lean towards the sidelines, like canon has shown us, and I think that he often gets to accompany Harwin and Lyonel as they prepare to go events and ride horses and stuff, and I think in those times instead of going socializing he’d rather stay back and hang out with the horses. Again with the connection to nature thing, it’s just safer, no social mind games, etc. Though that’s not productive, so he still ends up following his fam around and going to gather dirt on people. Truly the spiritual predecessor to hanging out with the cat at a party. I think he was bed-bound a fair bit, closed off in his room with servants bringing him things. The autistic part of him is fine with that lifestyle I think, but the social monkey part of him makes him antsy that he doesn’t have the choice for it to be any otherwise. He still goes to dine at the family table and at parties, but just in general he spends his days in his room, mostly sitting in bed. It’s not that his clubfoot means he completely mobility, but that chronic pain upon walking would mean it isn’t durable in general for him to go places or do activities with require him to move.

Oh, which, that’s an interesting point, chronic pain. He’s definitely had to learn to deal with pain on the daily, and to not let that get in the way of his ambitions and goals, evidently since he goes places like in the hunt. I wonder if part of it is his obligations as a Strong noble, to make appearances, and if part of it is to prove to people that he can do it, that he won’t stay bed-bound. Oh, I do wanna make a post about clubfoot btw, like an informational post about what its effects are and how it would likely have affected Larys physically, since we don’t see that all that much in the show nor books.

Oh, maybe that’d be fun- Super sheltered kid/teen Larys that wanted some freedom like his big bro, and once sneaked away from his bodyguard on a walk to go into the forest just to feel free and capable for a bit, and then learned old gods stuff and enlightenment. Forests are definitely a place of peaceful seclusion, so he’d feel comfortable by himself, without the fear of being judged. Just some time to himself that isn’t in his prison inside his house. Maybe that’s when he sees fireflies for the first time, something he’d only ever seen in books/could never have imagined with how little he sees nature. Maybe his liking of nature is not just an intrinsic connection he feels, but something he was denied access to for a long time. Maybe that’s why his greenseer thing takes a while to awaken… Idk idk

Hmm so yeah I think my final timeline for Larys’s life is that he grew up sheltered and rather isolated, almost always staying in his home, but as time went by he grew more aware of judgement and how things were tipped against him, built up resentment, and he grew more sensitive and hurt… Until he found the ways of the old gods, someway somehow, and it all clicked for him. He adopted more nihilistic and detached views, and grew ambitions that rivaled his childhood fancies except now they have a specific goal and technique to them. Though, maybe old gods is something he took an interest of when he read of them, especially if he constantly reads then bookshelves become short quick in a lifespan. I do think he’s always wanted to be ambitious and do great things and be smart and prove everyone wrong, but before truly awakening his greensight I think he was more defeated about it all. With how he longs for Alicent rather unabashedly, there’s certainly material to think that Larys is more brazen than I assume.

Me and the people on the larycent discord have also theorized about what could have made the crack on his cane, that he would have repaired with the sap-glue and his sigil in it. It’s a very interesting part of his cane’s design that I really hope there’ll be an explanation for it, and that seems like the perfect place to look for a backstory flashback. I like to think the crack would have happened near when he got his greenseer enlightenment, maybe it was even done intentionally. Or it could have been broken if he used his cane as self-defense while being assaulted, or worse, being the one assaulting someone, maybe snapping at bullies? There’s no way to know, but a lot to theorize. If you want more talk about the cane, I talked about it here intially: https://www.tumblr.com/fumifooms/697934778665713664/larys-cane-is-so-odd-it-looks-like-it-had-a

This is as good of a place as any other to link the post in which I very lightly talk of the signs of autism I see in Larys: https://www.tumblr.com/fumifooms/697936263897088000/larys-autism-coding-real-oh-the-angst-what

Tldr I just really like this brand of autistic character. Like L Lawliet, or Metal Sonic, the ones that think they’re the shit but it’s a thin veil to hide their trauma and insecurities, that use bloated self-esteem as a way to defend against social rejection and uplift themselves above others to cope. It’s hubris, same as all the other HotD characters.

OK THAT’S ENOUGH. SECOND PART OF THE ASK:

As for the 10 years of relationship, well… I do think he’s her only friend/outlet. She isn’t shown to have any other relationship that comes even close to their level of closeness, nor even just alliance wise. Her dad isn’t there, Criston Cole is a loyal servant & ally, but he’s beneath her in that he’s not available for intellectual plotting, and the one time their conversation grows less formal is when he snaps about Rhaenyra and Alicent immediately shuns him: it’s obvious that they’re work acquaintances more than anything else. Viserys just either ignores or gaslights her, and we don’t see her interacting with any other adults other than the guys of the council, who all judge her af and she does not like or trust much from what we see. Meanwhile, we see her and Larys have been having regular, one-on-one amicable dinners in something of a casual tone. She takes off her shoes, gets her hair undone, they speak of somewhat treasonous things, family problems and personal worries/wants like feeling alone and wanting her father back. He jokes, she feels comfortable enough to speak freely and have an outburst. And he does not shun her, and she does not recoil. But also, I think that their relationship is less deep than some would think, in the way that they don’t know each other as well as they’d want to believe, and only care about the other in the sense of the social fulfillment & belonging the other brings them. Alicent sees Larys as highly trustworthy and morally sound, while Larys sees her as his flower he understands so well intrinsically. They presume too much, get too comfortable with their wishful view of the other, sees in other a close kinship that has not yet been tested. They both also bring something to the other politically, he brings her information and she is the queen he has in his pocket, so it’s an exchange of ressources as well. I think she keeps the convos as that, an outlet, and they still keep their emotional distance through a thin veil of formality in tone and being guarded, which is why Alicent’s outburst is a big moment for them. They don’t know each other that well, but they like each other’s company and uses it for their own uses and needs, both ressource wise and social/emotional. Alicent has the partial ally she craves to feel less alone and vulnerable to plots and attacks, and Larys has a kindred spirit that doesn’t treat him as below her or a piece of furniture.

Actually there’s this new fic i wrote about them where they learn vulnerability and it’s on ao3 and—

I’m very interested in how they went from ep 5, which, last we knew of Larys was looking at her at the wedding, to being close confidants and informant-client but for free. That companionable yet benefit-oriented relationship. I do have a fanfic I wrote that’s a bit that, but I never wrote it with the intention that it was what I thought truly happened off-screen: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42355857

If I had to guess, I think Alicent was the one to first contact him again, formally. Or, Larys appeared conveniently somewhere she went, maybe in the godswood, and they struck a conversation there. Talked out the details of their new acquaintance, probably started the dinners right away, Larys commenting that that would attract attention less. Either way, after the wedding, they both knew that an alliance between the two of them would be advantageous and a smart move. I do think that Alicent gave him her trust quickly, with the way she did a 180 on Rhaenyra and values one’s words very highly, for Larys to have provided truthful information to her would put him highly in her mind, seemingly just to help her without reward. Though, I can’t possibly believe she didn’t see through his “oh was the princess sick? Because I saw this uwu haha, how nice to tell you this and be reassured that there is no worry to have” act, and I find it weird that she wouldn’t think it odd that he knew this information would matter to her, instead of being a thinly veiled threat to the royal family which she’s a part of. Though the latter just shows how he knew she’d see it as a gift of information rather than treasonous accusations. I guess, since she did end up enlisting him as her informant, she appreciated his act in that he didn’t try to pass it off as genuine, didn’t insult her intelligence and expected her to understand his double meaning. She’d appreciate his capacity for such subtlety (canon in ep 7). Ugh, sorry, this got more analysis than headcanon again lol.

So uhh yeah that’s it I guess, I hope my answer was satisfying! Thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble, I adore these kinda topics!

#house of the dragon #larys strong #house strong #harwin strong #lyonel strong #my headcanons #autistic headcanon #autistic larys strong #asd #larycent #alicent hightower #insert Monstre à Paris lyrics #I am apart #with the existentially tragic swell of strings #asks #character analysis #sorry if there are messier bits I can’t be bothered to polish this up rn

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detectivenyx · 3 months

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One thing I get hung up when it comes to fangans and the mastermind is why Mastermind chose this particular death? First, there's "why they choose the participants?", "What would they have to gain from some of them dying, and why choose a killing game with class trials and executions ." The last question relates to the intrinsic and extrinsic reasons for existence of the killing. Intrinsic reasons would be the masterminds motivation, and the extrinsic reasons would be how this killing game relates to the themes of the story.

Some Fangans that make it to the end of their story get pretty weak with that last part. If the killing game was "The Hunger Games" or "Battle Royale" with the same cast, would it have mattered to characters and the themes?

Danganronpa itself isn't perfect with this either. Junko designed the death game to emphasize Hope and Despair. The mutual killing format makes more sense for Junko to create than "Battle Royale." Then Danganronpa 2 comes around, and while the themes of hope and despair are present (extrinsic) , the "AI Junko" motivations were pretty weak, as shown in the game. She stated she didn't even care about the deaths. The killing game could have been a battle royale, and it would mean nothing to her. I think it was Danganronpa 3 with Izuru that gave a better motivation for enacting the killing in Danganronpa 2. Also, I think the future vs. past could be a bit better executed using the killing game format or at least emphasized more.

Going back to Fangans, it usually just when someone really want to write a fangan because they love danganronpa without considering why using this format is a good way of emphasizing their themes or if the existence a killing game is properly justified by the masterminds personality and the lore. The class trials and execution become more of obligations to their murder mystery stories. Might as well make regular detective stories. Maybe they can make money off of it. That's just my opinion.

while i don't think DR could ever be perfect because perfect writing does not exist, i do think that this assessment given to SDR2 is not fair. i did not find the decisions made particularly strong ones, but they are made with a specific purpose - that hope and despair might be opposed to one another, but work in conjunction with each other - their 'true' opposite is apathy, which both izuru and junko have in droves. their abilities to analyse and predict what would happen next meant there was nothing stimulating to them, making them both bored and apathetic. junko's been trying to mask her boredom her whole life because nobody really understands how she feels (which is why she took such interest in fucking around with the brain - either so someone else can understand her or she can feel what others feel). she doesn't care that izuru got severely brain-fucked into his situation, he's someone who can stand up to her intellectually and she's beyond excited for it, especially since he is meant to be the other side of her coin. as for junko not really having a motivation by sdr2, she was a liiiittle bit busy with the whole 'got pulverised to death and had people steal her organs and fuck her corpse' thing to have a motive of her own since it's izuru who put her in the system, and primarily to test the things nagito had been yapping on about all game.

i do agree however that fangans kind of just give their chosen mastermind character the very surface level motive of junko's from dr1, read: heehoo despair, and that most of them are pretty bad even barring most of them are written by like, 13-17 year olds (though i've read some pretty bad ones written by people older than me). it's kind of as said - many fangans want the melodrama of a murder and the heart-string tugging of a trial but rely on danganronpa's source material and way too much on appealing to fanservice (which fangan writers forget can be non-sexual) to make it work. even good fangans fumble this because despite her massive popularity, people just kind of treat junko like a generic yandere creepypasta stabby stabby antagonist in her villain era or whatever the fuck the lingo is. she ain't perfect but she's a lot deeper than she usually gets credit for.

#dr spoilers #sdr2 spoilers

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dajaregambler · 8 months

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HeliosR - Sing in the darkness - Chapter 2 - Part 8

Translation of Sing in the darkness from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’, a new side arc alongside the current main story arc Like the dawning light.

---Two months after the admission.

Commentator: Now, it’s finally here! The second LOM for the 12th generation!

Commentator: It’s about one month since the last LOM, I wonder what kind of eager rookies ready to show the results of their training we’ll be seeing in action today!

Commentator: The first match will take place in the main stadium, starting off with North Sector and South Sector against each other!

Commentator: First we have North Sector led by mentor Brad Beams! And the one who had put on a grandiose spectacle at the previous LOM, the genius rookie Marion Blythe, expectations are through the roof when it comes to him

Commentator: And on the other side we have South Sector led by the fortune teller of Helios, Robin Goodweather!

Commentator: I’d declare them the winners were it a competition of how unique a rookie could be

Commentator: Don’t forget their hero powers also pack a punch full of personality! Just what kind of exciting battle will they be showing us today!

Robin: Going up against Brad-kun’s team from the get to, luck must not be on my side today.

Robin: I’ve done everything I could in order for fortune to bless me even just a little bit….

Brad: Relying on luck, huh. More importantly, it all depends on how much you’ve trained them.

Robin: That does fall under “everything I could do”. I am not looking down on them by any means.

Brad: Hoh….

Robin: Even then, this is quite the pickle I’m in.

Robin: It’s my first experience as a mentor, and yet I have no assistance in the matter…. Don’t you think this goes beyond it being hard mode?

Brad: Perhaps so…. The conditions are no different than everyone, however.

Robin: Ahaha, then maybe I might be the only one feeling how it’s on super hard mode.

Brad: This rookie training course started with the admission of the 10th generation. We, as it were, are the first generation of this kind.

Brad: They’re expecting something from us, if I were to make a guess.

Robin: Hmmm. I do have to say I’m the type that’s weak against pressure.

Brad: ……

Robin: Brad-kun, is it going well with your rookies?

Brad: I wonder. By what means do I illustrate if it’s going well…

Brad: If I approach it with my former mentor Jay as reference, I’d say it’s a long way from passable.

Robin: Someone’s strict. Aren’t you two completely different types of people

Robin: Or rather, using Jay-san as a reference for yourself, is a mistake in itself. That man goes beyond the norm in any sense possible.

Brad: …How are things on your end, Robin. There’s one rookie that idolizes you from the looks of it.

Robin: Aah, Sage you mean? He’s a kid I’ve known from before he entered Helios. ….I believe we have established a fine relationship between the two of us.

Robin: However with the other youngsters it will take some more time before they open up.

Robin: I do think my social disposition being too much on the weaker side plays a huge role in it…

Robin: Rather than them not quite grasping the importance of “teamwork”, they all look to be the types that scorn at it.

Brad: I see….

Robin: Well, one doesn’t understand the importance of everything without experiencing it first hand after all. “Experience is the best teacher” as they say.

Brad: I could say the same about my rookies.

Robin: And when we look at you, you were the darling of Helios.

Robin: Your skill and physical ability is a given, but I’ve heard that your judgment was at an exceptionally high level too. Maybe it won’t take much effort, but a precocious child does seem difficult to handle.

Brad: Precocious, huh…

Brad: Perhaps you can say that when it’s about being a hero, yes…

Robin: Hm?

#helios rising heroes #heliosr #brad beams #sing in the darkness

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bunathebunny · 1 year

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(click the read more for details)

Height

though mhy has never disclosed heights, i hc xiao as being short and 150 cm is the perfect height of a short person

ganyu wears heels and she isn't that much higher than xiao so i'm giving her one centimeter over him

Age

eh mhy is very wishy washy when it comes to age so who knows but what we do know is that xiao was there when guizhong died so he would be 3.7k+ years old

ganyu knows guizhong but aside from putting her at 3.7k+ years old that doesn't give us a good clue whether she is older than xiao but i'd like to think she is younger

well my hc is that xiao is her senior in age but she is his senior when it comes to working for morax

Gender & Sexuality

most of the time i write them as trans but like the ??? means that they are whatever gender and sexuality is the funnier at that moment

Horny level

xiao i think is the kind that has a normal libido but if no one reminds him he just forgets about it

there's also xiao and his complicated relationship with sex in general

ganyu... has a higher libido due to the fact that her work is very stressful and she used to forget about it but then someone *cough* an ex *cough* introduced her to masturbation as a way to get happy chemicals but also a way to tire herself out and knock herself out sooner so yeah it's a habit

Awkwardness level

xiao is super awkward due to a) his introverted nature and b) the fact that he has gotten all rusty because he no longer has anyone to interact with on a daily - or near daily - basis

ganyu is less awkward than xiao because she has exposure to a bunch of people and therefore has experiences with dealing with people in general but off work, she is still awkward in her own way

Jealousy level

they both don't have a high jealousy level because i think they have mutual respect and also because they know neither of them would cheat

Big spoon vs Little spoon

xiao's work is a protector and even when they sleep together that fact doesn't change

also because ganyu either can't sleep or she knocks the fuck out the moment her head hits the pillow so xiao is used to just holding her while she sleeps

he would say it's for her comfort but being close to someone who his own karma doesn't really affect sets him at ease somewhat

it's the closeness and also the feeling of a breathing and living body

Lending & Borrowing clothes

ganyu is a giver through and through and she would happily let strangers borrow her clothes

it's just that she hesitates a bit when it comes to xiao

it's because he's very pretty and if he wears her clothes, which is btw more revealing than his usual ones, she would like it too much

xiao has exactly one set of clothes that still survives until today so no lending anyone anything

Pet names

they both don't use pet names but ganyu would try some but eventually she just gave up because she couldn't stand the embarrassment

ganyu forgoes xiao's title after his multiple times of reminding her to just use his name

that's the closest they've come to pet names

also xiao's name is very important to him so he would prefer that ganyu calls him that instead of using pet names

Introvert vs Extrovert

they are both introverts tbh even if ganyu is sometimes misunderstood as an extrovert

but on the sliding scale ganyu is closer to being an extrovert than xiao is, which btw is still a long way off

she's more used to interacting with people and such so she does ok in crowded places

xiao on the other hand does not have such as many experiences and therefore he is less used to be in crowded places

Words vs Actions

they both prove their affections through their actions because they're both in the "affections speak louder than words" camp

they, however, understand how much power words have and do try to indulge in loving words

it is just that xiao is not used to speaking such things - or speaking to another in general - so he doesn't rely much on words but more on actions though he does make some efforts

ganyu, on the other hand, sometimes expresses her affections through words and she is embarrassed but it is worth it to see xiao gets all blushy

Confession

they are the kind to confess as soon as possible - that is the thing they're confessing is a crime they committed

love confession? oh no they will wait for years and no they wouldn't confess if there is no push

ganyu might pluck up the courage eventually but that would still take a long long time

xiao would just repressed and take it to his grave if he could

he has a very low self-esteem and thinks that ganyu deserves better than him

Dealing with bugs

they're both gentle people who would not squash the bugs if there is other ways to deal with it

if there isn't then xiao would squash it first just to spare ganyu of the guilt

ganyu would say she could do it and he shouldn't have to but he is used to doing the killings for the sake of others so it's fine really

(it's not exactly fine)

Driving

teyvat doesn't have cars but the closest they have would be hm horses or carriages

since both of them are archon war veterans i think both of them can ride horses

they would do well with carriages too but ganyu has a upper hand because she probably has more experiences with carriages than xiao does?

Cooking

xiao cannot cook and i subscribe to this hc

the only way for him to cook is to give him an extremely detail instructions on how to cook but unless it's really simple dishes, he would screw up

ganyu knows how to cook because it is a valuable life skills but also because she can bribe cloud retainer with food so she learned it with that as motivation

she just doesn't cook often because she's so busy

Public display of affections

they both aren't big fans of pda because xiao doesn't really get why people do pda and ganyu gets embarrassed easily

xiao however has the tendency to accidentally does pda and he always realizes it too late and then both of them are flustered messes

Protectiveness

xiao is a protector so he is quite protective of ganyu

he however knows that she can take care of herself most of the time so it doesn't come close to overprotectiveness

ganyu knows she cannot shield xiao from the horrors of his work because while she is strong in her own rights, xiao is far stronger as a yaksha and a general to boot

that, however, does not make her any less protective of him in the simple daily life things

she is very fussy with what he consumes and also keeps telling him to report shady people who come to him to the millelith

Relationship experiences

ganyu has exes, most of whom are dead - the archon war wasn't kind to the adepti and humans cannot hope to accompany a half-adeptus for the rest of her life

xiao, on the other hand, doesn't have exes because his work keeps him too busy to date

the closest thing he had to a romantic partner is the thing he had with his friends

#ganxiao #i love them a normal amount

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