#oh who said that

[thxnks4themrms]

I’m high as fuck

#oh who said that #whoops #guys im not intoxicated at school

[emilnikos]

I need non autistic people to realise meltdowns are a real debilitating thing that has a serious effect on your mental and physical health NOWWWWW!!! The way its been trivialized and lessened pisses me the fuck off. It's not a tantrum and it doesn't come from "being too weak-willed" it's painful and it's embarrassing AND MOST OF ALL IT'S INVOLUNTARY!! Don't claim to be an ally to autistic or disabled people and then make fun of people who have meltdowns. Literally get the hell out of my sight

#i can't believe i have to day it but autism /is/ a disablity. its disabling. meltdowns are part of that. #'oh this is a lukewarm take' you dumbshit fucks have been throwing the word neurodivergent and meltdown around so #casually they have both been said at me with the same disdain as a swear word. you guys will accept making fun of autistic people #if someone jn your circle who is 'cool' does it first. at your big ages. shut the hell up

[privilegedjester]

have this idea for a story that's like one of the best I've come up with but everything I have written out for it so far is just sooo cute and it's not meant to be cute!! I'm not a Super Big horror person but that's what I want out of it! there are TWO developed characters in the entire thing because pov character cannot recognize other people! (it's kinda a steampunk vibe so they're like. blank faced machinery. idk I'll flesh it out more later) but it's like. he literally is not human enough to even comprehend others of his own species. he doesn't know who he is anymore, not really, because he's become so comfortable in the perspective the only other real, existing character has of him. and everything I have in my head right now has been OMG THEY CAN GO ON CUTE DATES literally I have a whole scene in a coffeeshop planned out. what am I doing man. even my working title is adorable and absolutely not meant for this

#I didn't mention the time travel in that rant did I #yeah part of the mcs lost identity is from time traveling #don't think too much about it let me #also I didn't mention that they're gay #they're lovers they're silly they're fated to die together #oh who said that #not me definitely not me #my working title is “see you back at the beginning” btw #because time travel. death. y'know #now will I ever finish writing this. no #especially not without any google docs storage

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

so how about that update, huh

#this is all i have to offer rn </3 #im working on Actual Art but for now all you guys get is Half Assed Meme #eddie dear. eddie. eddie dear. Eddie Dear. EDDIE DEAR- #oh man. oh boy. oh fuck. its so over (we're so back) #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #eddie dear #i feel like i just walked into a disaster recovery group a week late w/ a smoothie #heely-ing in here Whats Up Fuckers #ok that was a creepy glitch #for a second every button i pressed created a new tag that said #'Who Else Is Traumatized!!!' #a little unnerving and Very on brand! one could call it WHcore... or somethn...

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering. #it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now... #... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy. #(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

[scribblescrabbledepartment]

fishes for the homos i mean homies

[ID: nine fish with collaged scales of different colored and patterned paper, each with glittery fins.]

#collage #only like 4.5 people have confirmed that they got these but its been like 2 weeks since i mailed them #so id certainly Hope im not spoiling anything by this point #i gotta keep lists whenever i mail stuff bc i got 9 people i mail #so i gotta keep lists of who said 'oh i got a thing' so i know when theyre all at their destination #course some people dont say anything #which is fine #they dont know i have a list #once its been a while i just assume & hope everything made it where its supposed to be

[simplenefelibata]

as much as i love sam knowing about destiel before dean does, there's something about "i mean yeah my brother and his angel best friend are really weird about each other, live together, co-parent a kid, nearly kill themselves every time the other is gone, stand too close and stare at the other's mouth while they talk, but i mean to each their own i guess??" that's so special to me

#it's just so funny #and when it finally clics he's like #OH #that... explains a lot actually #he's so committed to believe dean's heterosexual act #and you know what i respect sam for it #if the dude says he's straight then it doesn't matter he stares at men lusting! he's STRAIGHT. #i'm sam btw #i had a friend who told me for 6 months he was straights while he performed in my face Telephone by Lady Gaga #and also knew the entire loona lore #but he said he was STRAIGHT okay #i had the audacity (or the politeness ig) to act surprised when he came out #i'm rambling #sorry #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural #spn #casdean #sam winchester

[rendevok]

“Take my hand” pages 16-18

1 -> 3 - day 4 - swap

#nmweek23 #narumitsu #wrightworth #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #fan art #fan comic #aa #rendevok #says ‘some time later’ bc im laughing at myself and also i said they had been kissing the whole time it took me to get to the next part #hope you liked your 8 month kissing session boys <333 #shoutout to edgeworth! i will be laughing at him via phoenix for the entirety of this comic #speaking of living vicariously i am so sorry for the sappy bullshit i put into their mouths but alas. *I* am a big sap! #this was one of those ones i was like ‘WOULD THEY THO oh wait who cares’ can i get a CHEERS BRO? #i’d like to promise that it gets better but. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) #until next time… [tuxedo masks into the night]

[expelliarmus]

#mine #doctor who #dwedit #david tennant #catherine tate #jodie whittaker #billie piper #elisabeth sladen #mandip gill #sophie aldred #janet fielding #bonnie langford #dw spoilers #ok while i was making this i started second guessing myself if i should even post it lol #because i know i'll start seeing lots of 'BUT WHERE IS _____' comments #but oh well i'm sending it out!!!! #i was only aiming for the scenes where they said something along the lines of 'i used to be like you' ok!! #i thought about adding in when donna met martha for the first time too #but it didn't really fit with the classic companions you know... #ok i should probably wind down for the night lol #good night friends!!!! #i will be thinking about dw all day at work tomorrow!!!!

[punkitt-is-here]

streamer horse trixie

#trixie lulamoon #mlp #mlp:fim #my little pony #horsecomix #my posts #my art #punkitt #comics #this is for that one anon who said that jerma and trixie were the same because they were. blue. #oh yeah and #jerma985

[linusbenjamin]

fourteen: 😒😐😤 fifteen: 😁😜😎

#doctor who #dwedit #tvedit #scifiedit #doctor who spoilers #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #the toymaker #fifteenth doctor #userdiana #userlanie #usertennant #userksena #nikolatexla #'i'm the doctor' oh ncuti finally said the line

[thxnks4themrms]

Our

#vampy asks #step on me? #oh who said that

[how-masterful]

#literally said 'OH NO' out loud #i knew it was gonna go so wrong after that #doctor who #bbc doctor who #bbc #doctor who spoilers #doctor who 60th anniversary

[hinamie]

i have so much band!au content in the pipeline my brain is Rotting but enjoy these two for now

jjk band!au

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #itadori yuuji #yuuji #ryoumen sukuna #sukuna #fanart #jjk fanart #jjk band!au #every time i dress sukuna i stray further from gods light. what is that. what did i do why did i do that. #the pants...the mullet mohawk..the tanktop that might as well be Off...am i cooking or committing a cardinal sin who can say #i realized that i probably couldnt give him rings bc the priss wouldnt want to scuff his guitar #which goes directly against my religion that says that any modern au sukuna has to b iced up #that being said the bracelets r probably pushing it but he needed /something/ so he can deal. #but oh my god the guitars like dont get me wrong im thrilled w how they turned out but god i wished for death #looks around accusingly whose idea was this >:c (me it was mine) #anyway i am feeding myself on this au this will not be the last u see of it :) #HARD pivot from emo yoi content oops

[melancholic-pigeon]

Leftists on tumblr: listen to marginalized people about their own oppression

Jewish person: X thing is super antisemitic

Those very same leftists on tumblr: OH SO YOU SUPPORT MURDERING BABIES THEN? GENOCIDE APOLOGIST

Jewish person: here's an exhaustive list of sources going back thousands of years proving that X is antisemitic.

Leftists on tumblr: Doesn't count, colonizer!!!!!! /gets X tattooed on their forehead, puts an X bumper sticker on their car, calls people Genocide Supporters when they say "hey X is not allowed here because it's antisemitic"

Leftists on tumblr: "Why do Jews keep complaining about leftist antisemitism? I don't see it; it's clearly a distraction from talking about those Noble Savage Palestinians. Prove to me you're oppressed, X! X X X X!! CHANTS X FROM THE ROOFT0PS"

Jews: we don't super trust you guys not to call for our extermination, since you have repeatedly at every past opportunity

Leftists on tumblr: Look, I know antisemitism is annoying, but now is not the time to discuss blood libel when those Evil Jews are eating Palestinian babies!!! HASHTAG X

Jewish person: *rubs forehead as Turning from les mis plays in the background* (nothing changes, nothing ever can / round about the roundabout and back where you began)

Leftists on tumblr: SEE? THEY WON'T EVEN HAVE A GOOD FAITH DISCUSSION WITH ME 😭

Leftists on tumblr: "anyway discussions of antisemitism are a DISTRACTION. I am good person who is being very helpful and only hurting bad people who deserve it, like those filthy Jews— I mean zionists"

Leftists on tumblr: Why, oh why are people calling us antisemitic? 🥺

#“I am a goy (I also do not speak Hebrew can you tell)” #and I am still furious about this #and I will not stop being furious about this #and as I've said a squillion times: #if you see this and jump to 'pythia is a Netanyahu stan who supports genocide' #congrats you're an antisemite too #antisemitism #don't be awful to each other #pigeon chatters #huh guess that quotation marks thing doesn't work or I'm doing it wrong #oh well

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself