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lost-in-the-80s · 3 years

Text

The Wedding

Pairing: Izzy Stradlin x fem!reader

Words: 2.321k

Summary: Your brother's wedding has arrived, without having a boyfriend, you invite Izzy, your best friend, to be your date. (smut)

A/N: When I started listening to gnr, it didn’t take much time before Izzy got a place in my heart, so this is for his birthday

Song rec for the fic: Woman by John Lennon

Sitting on an airplane for over an hour now, Izzy observed your asleep figure beside him, your head laying on his shoulder, like you had done so many times before, unaware of the warmth it caused on the brunette’s heart.

He questioned himself for a thousandth time that week. Why in the hell did I agree with this?

The idea didn’t sound like a big deal at first, accompanying you to your brother’s wedding wouldn’t cause any harm. But as the days started to go by, his mind traced every aspect of a wedding, the music, the romantic atmosphere, the dancing, and he soon started to regret having said yes so easily.

The truth is that Izzy has always loved you, ever since the day the two of you met. It all happened so naturally that he didn’t notice he was in love until you went on a date with another guy.

At first, he loved your voice, he’d call you just to hear you talking for hours about the most random things. Then it was your eyes, he found himself entranced by their color, the way they rolled when you got annoyed, and how they seemed to invade his deepest thoughts and memories every time you looked at his eyes.

The last thing was your attitude, your bluntness and forward behavior shocking him sometimes, and being his main entertainment in others. He found a true interest in watching you, it didn’t matter what you were doing, you would always be in his sight.

And even though years passed, that feeling seemed to just grow more and more, and every time he saw you going out with another guy, his heart broke into smaller and smaller pieces.

Little did he know the reason behind your maneater habits.

The truth is that, just like him, you had fallen for him since day one, you loved his nonchalant attitude and his style, the shape of his hands and fingers, and how dry his voice was after his third cigarette.

Just like him, you would secretly observe him, the two of you being too good on your game to ever get caught by each other.

But you didn’t want to risk your friendship over admitting your feelings, especially when you didn’t know if Izzy felt the same way. So you went on multiple dates, meeting guys with the most different appearances and personalities, all in hopes that one day, you’d meet someone capable of making you stop thinking about the guy from Indiana. That, obviously, never happened.

A little turbulence on the plane woke you up, you immediately looked up, meeting his brownish eyes.

“It’s just turbulence. Go back to sleep.”

You nodded slowly, before laying your head on his shoulder again, inhaling his scent of cigarettes and cologne and immediately feeling your body calm down.

---

You looked at yourself in the mirror of the hotel room, rolling your eyes at Niki's choice of color and design for the bridesmaids' dresses.

A soft knock on the door caught your attention and there stood him, a black blazer matching his black jeans.

He looked you up and down.

"You're gonna steal the bride's attention like that."

"It's grey, the most boring color ever! I wouldn't steal her attention, even if I wanted to."

He chuckled softly.

Well, you stole my attention. He thought to himself.

Picking up your purse and gift you exited the room, locking your arm with his for support, as you got on the elevator and then walked towards the hotel's saloon.

---

During the entire ceremony, Izzy found his attention caught by you, the way you stood out amongst the other bridesmaids and how impatient you seemed to grow with how long the ceremony was taking.

Your grey dress looked like pure silver, reflecting the lights. You looked so beautiful that he wished he had brought a camera to take a picture of you.

Your eyes caught his for once, and you blinked in his direction, smiling when you saw his lips turn into a small smile.

After what felt like forever the ceremony ended and he found himself sitting at a table with “Y/N and boyfriend” written down on a card.

“I think someone gave them the wrong info.” He showed you the card when you plopped down on the chair beside him.

You rolled your eyes. “Classic coming from my family.”

You lifted the tablecloth, making him look down to see what was happening.

“These heels are killing me.” You complained, removing your silver sandals and quickly massaging your feet.

“I bet they are.” He took two champagne glasses from a waiter passing by.

He knew you weren’t used to heels. Being almost his height, you never felt the need to wear them that often.

“Thanks.” You took your glass towards your nude lips.

“How much did you pay for that gift?” He pointed towards the biggest package on a pile, knowing it was yours.

“300 bucks.”

His eyes widened for a second.

You didn’t wait for him to say anything, knowing exactly what was crossing his mind.

“He’s my only brother. I might not like Niki that much, but he’s happy with her, and I’m happy for that.”

“Fair enough.” He drank from his champagne again. "Those ice statutes are quite tempting for a man who wants to take a piss,"

He chuckled to himself, but soon realized that your attention was focused on the main door.

“See that girl over there?” You pointed at the door.

“What’s with her?”

“That’s Braeden,” the name made him realize she was your sister. “She’s the only woman taller than me here….”

He looked back at you, and so you lowered your voice, keeping eye contact with him.

“When the bouquet time comes, you’re gonna block her.” You gestured aggressively with your hands, making a smile start to form on his lips.

“Why?”

“There’s no way my younger sister is gonna get married before me.”

He chuckled. “I didn’t know you aspired to marriage Y/N.”

Your eyes softened with his sentence and a small pain formed in your heart. If only he knew what crossed your mind when you looked at him during the ceremony.

---

The night seemed to go by faster than he expected and soon he found himself at the drinks table, observing as you talked to some relatives of yours on the other side of the saloon.

You sensed his eyes and looked towards him, giving him a look that said “Help me.”

He chuckled softly, but before he could do anything a woman’s voice caught his attention.

“You must be Izzy.”

He looked to his side, seeing a woman that looked just like Joey, your brother.

“Yes, and you are….” He extended his hand for her to shake.

“I’m Martha, Y/N’s mother.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“I didn’t know the two of you were dating.”

He choked on his drink.

“We aren’t, we’re just friends.” He looked down for a second.

She nodded slowly, before locking her eyes on your side.

“I know my daughter very well,"

Her voice made him look back at her.

“She has had many boyfriends in her life, but I’ve never seen her look at them in the way she looks at you.”

He opened his mouth, but your presence made him stop.

“Hey, mom!” You smiled, kissing her cheek.

“Hello, darling.” She touched your hair, adjusting some locks. “I promised I'd dance this one with your father.”

You nodded in understanding as she smiled before walking away.

“So… wanna dance with me?” You nudged him from the side, before taking a sip from his drink.

“With this song?” He asked, taking notice that Woman by John Lennon was playing.

“Why not?” You shrugged.

“Okay.” He placed his now empty glass on the table before taking your hand and guiding you towards the other people there dancing.

One of his hands held you delicately by your waist as you slowly swung to the song. Your eyes locked on each other as the other people around you seemed to disappear.

Your mother’s words mixed with the lyrics hitting his head like bells as he finally noticed the glow that formed in your eyes as you looked at him, making his heart race faster than ever.

You just realized another song was playing when someone bumped into you, making a disco song hit your ears.

You both looked so distracted and for a second you thought you’d sit down for the rest of the night, not being able to feel his cold fingers brush on your skin through your dress.

But those thoughts washed away when he let go of your waist just to grab both of your hands and guide you throughout the song, just like he did for the rest of the night.

That was the happiest night you have had in your life, and when your hotel room number became noticeable at the end of the corridor, you wished you could turn back time and do it all again.

“Happy with your bouquet?”

“More than happy.” You giggled, smelling the flowers one more time.

It was comic the way Izzy put himself in front of your sister, pretending not to be aware of what was happening.

“Thanks for that.”

“If that makes you happy, I can do that at the next weddings too.”

Next weddings. The thought made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“So…” he started, stopping in front of your room as you opened the door.

“So…”

“Tonight was fun.”

“Yes, it really was!” You said looking down. “Thanks for coming with me, Iz.” You leaned towards him, kissing his cheek gently.

“Anytime.” He replied so lowly that you weren’t sure if he had actually said that.

You entered your room and closed the door, resting your forehead against it as you sighed.

Rushed knocks against the wood made you regain your posture and quickly open the door.

Izzy looked deep inside your eyes, his brown orbs saying everything his mouth wanted to.

Not a second after that and you wrapped your arms around his neck, your lips colliding against his.

No kiss ever had felt like that. It was warm like fire and exciting, you felt your heart start racing faster and your mind went numb.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you as close as he could while entering your room and kicking the door shut behind him.

Soon you found yourself in your bed, your legs wrapped around his hips as your tongues fought for dominance, making small moans and grunts leave your mouths. One of his hands started traveling underneath your dress's fabric, exploring every inch of your legs, making you shiver with his cold fingers.

Your lips found his neck, kissing and biting at his flesh with desire, delighted by his irregular breathing and the small moans he tried to hold.

A certain hardness was pressed against your core among what seemed like a thousand layers of clothing. The sensation making you wet as you bit harsher on his neck, loving the smirk that formed on his lips.

He pushed himself off of you, standing up and ripping his shirt open, the sound of buttons hitting the floor filling the room.

“I need your help with the dress.”

You sat on the bed, your back facing him as he found the zipper, opening it quickly while he applied wet kisses on the extension of your back, biting your flesh just like you had done with him, making a small moan leave your lips.

“So beautiful.” He whispered against your ear, making another shiver possess your body.

You stripped off of the dress as you watched him undo his pants and remove his underwear with it.

He made his way back to the bed, his calloused fingers removed your blue lace panties slowly and delicately. One of his fingers traveled in between your folds, his eyes closing for a second when he noticed your wetness for him.

Izzy cupped your face with one of his hands, kissing you tenderly before asking.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

You felt the tip of his member entering you, making you close your eyes, focusing on the sensation it caused. You felt him slowly expanding your walls until it was all the way in, making a soft and small moan leave your lips.

Izzy looked at you for confirmation and after seeing you nod, he started moving.

In the beginning, it was slow and passionate, he made it the most intimate he could, touching every inch of your skin, whispering sweet nothings on your ear, as you traced his back and arms with the tip of your fingers, allowing your nails to softly touch his skin.

After some minutes, sweat started to form on both your bodies, your moans coming out in unison filled the room as you felt your walls start to clench around him.

That’s when he sped up his pace, the tip of his member now hitting your g-spot with no mercy, he massaged one of your breasts with his hand, while the other rested on the bed for support.

“Izzy,” His name left your lips in a loud moan and you saw a proud expression consume his features.

“I know, princess, I know.”

You closed your eyes and moaned again, feeling as you and he both came at the same time. A groan leaving his throat matching your whimpers as you felt a wave of pure pleasure wash over your body. Your legs started to shake and you scratched his back, while he bit harsh enough to leave a mark on your neck.

Both sweating and trying to gain your breath again, you laid in bed, your head resting on his chest as he softly caressed your body.

“Izzy?”

“Hum?”

“This is not a one-time thing, right?”

“No, Y/N, it is not.”

Thanks for reading <3

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chilligyu · 3 years

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info: lee jihoon/gender neutral reader, pg, best friends to lovers au genre: fluff, romance | word ct: 5.5k warnings: none summary: when it came to love, no one was prepared. not even jihoon, who could spend hours turning words into magic, especially when love was mysteriously delivered in the form of a letter to his locker. note: heavily inspired by to all the boys I've loved before, but with a twist! no love triangles or anything like that, so just enjoy awkward people falling in love! and thank you to @dreamystuffers and @starlightjoong for taking a sneak peek and telling me what you think!

tagging: @xfirebenderx, @moriiyun, @ohmygoshcheese, @gyu-log

Lee Jihoon, a genius in many ways, was never good when it came to words. At least, not the spoken kind. The kind that you had to think up on the spot, responses, answers, comebacks, small talk, he was absolutely terrible at it. But if you gave him the time to think, to really dwell on his thoughts, he could create something truly beautiful. Which was why he preferred to express his feelings with letters. And while, yes, he could pen something magnificent, the next great classic novel perhaps, he typically kept his messages short and to the point. Much like the man himself.

There was one time that he wrote a “letter” that was simply—

F U C K Y O U

—printed out on seven separate sheets of paper and taped to a row of lockers. All in response to a teacher confiscating his iPod. No one could prove it was him, though, and nothing happened in response to it. He never admitted to his crimes, and despite it being painfully obvious who the author of the message was, there was no hard proof pointing to the culprit. It became the most well-known secret at their high school. And Lee Jihoon became somewhat of a living legend because of it.

The only one who knew the truth was you. His best friend. You were his go-to when it came to proof reading all of his letters. He was the writer, you were the editor. Half the time you were also a berating parent, chastising him for trying to assault people with words. Which was also why, more often than not, his letters never got sent. He would sit in his room for hours, writing letters that were either half the length of novels or only a few sentences long, and after giving it over to be edited, it would get tucked away in his desk drawer. Never to be seen or heard from again.

See, Jihoon was an emotional person. Not in the sense that most people would assume, he didn’t get offended easily, one mean comment wouldn’t leave him crying, he was simply—emotional. Whatever he was feeling, whether it be good or bad, it was powerful, sometimes overwhelming. So instead of erupting like a hormonal volcano, which he had already done plenty of, he put his emotions to paper. At the behest of his aforementioned best friend.

“You can’t go around yelling at people.” You began one afternoon just after entering high school. “Even if you’re writing it down, you’re still yelling at people.”

Jihoon, the definition of “hard to read”, was visibly pouting. “You’re the one who told me to write down how I feel. Now I can’t even send these to anyone?”

“I mean, you can.” You backpedalled. “I’m not your mother, despite Seokmin’s insistence. I can’t stop you from doing anything you’ve set your heart to. All I can do is advise you not to because you’re going to have a terrible few years here if everyone hates you.”

He clearly wasn’t thrilled by your logical response, but he admitted defeat anyway. “Fine. Don’t send the letters that I write. I get it. No one wants to read them.”

You groaned loudly. “You are so dramatic. I’m saying don’t send the literal hate mail to people. Don’t send the stuff you write to vent out your feelings. But if there’s something you want to say to someone, something that you can’t bring yourself to say out loud, by all means! Send the thing! I know you loathe the idea of talking to people, you also hate being misunderstood more.”

He also hated how well you knew him, not that he would ever say that out loud.

That was also something he wrote down in a letter, one he decided to send.

You crumpled it up immediately and threw it back at his face.

“Letters are powerful things, Jihoon.” You added. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives with nothing more than words. Because words mean so many different things to so many different people. You just gotta say the right ones.”

At first, he was only humoring you. Honestly, he thought you completely senile until he gave it a shot. After spending hours hunched over his desk writing things no one else would see, he was starting to realize that maybe you had a point. Instead of roaming the halls shouting obscenities in his head, he was able to reassure himself by knowing he could write about it later. Even the smallest grievance, he would write it down. He would sometimes scribble it down on the margin of a textbook if he was feeling particularly overwhelmed in the middle of the day.

The letters became his therapy, his outlet, eventually he could stroll past some annoying upperclassmen and not feel rage coursing through his veins. It was—nice, almost. Not being subjected to his own hectic imagination at every turn. Feeling at peace for the first time in what felt like ages.

Until he found a letter in his locker, one addressed to him during his senior year. From a secret admirer. The contents of which would be seared into his memory for the remainder of time.

Lee Jihoon, it began.

I have never been able to tell you how I feel, in person or in a letter. For several months now, I’ve tried. I’ve tried to write letters like you for so long, and I just can’t get the words right. I don’t know how you do it. So I’m going to do something different. I’m going to stop being scared. If you meet me in the courtyard after school, I’m going to be brave for the first time in my life. Please help me be brave, Jihoon.

Again and again, he read that short letter. Practically baffled that someone out there wrote an honest-to-god letter that was addressed to an honest-to-god person. And that he wasn’t the writer, that he was the recipient. The thought alone made his heart race, and to comprehend that this secret admirer perhaps harbored feelings towards him? It was next to impossible. But no one writes a letter without true emotion behind it. That’s a fact he was coming to understand.

“I need you to come with me.” He told you after showing you the letter. “I’m—I’m not sure I can do this alone.”

You rolled your eyes. “Jihoon, obviously this person doesn’t want to make a public event out of their confession. You should really do this without me.”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to stand at my side or anything.” He reiterated. “Can you like—stand in a bush or something? If I know that you’re there I won’t feel the need to—"

“Did you just ask me to stand in a bush?” You guffawed. “You did not just ask me to stand in a bush Lee Jihoon because if you did then you’re about to get your ass kicked into next year!”

“I didn’t mean literally!” He quickly denied when he did, in fact, mean it literally. “Just—stand around the corner, okay? Be my moral support!”

Pursing your lips, you knew that there was no getting out of this. “Alright, fine. I’ll come with you. But I’m not happy about it.”

“I’ll pay you back, I promise.” He swore. “Have I ever told you that you’re the best?”

A smirk teased at your lips. “You could mention it more.”

“Consider it done.” Jihoon grinned, gathering up his things and heading for the door. “Don’t forget! After school! Courtyard! Don’t be late!”

Once he was gone and you were completely alone, your face fell in disappointment. “I wouldn’t dream of it…”

By the time that school was finally over for the day, Jihoon was a bundle of overactive nerves. He was excited and terrified and anxious and nauseous all at once. The bombarding sensations kept him cemented in place, gripping the edge of his desk until his knuckles were about to burst through. He had been like that for the entirety of their last class, still as a statue as a cold sweat broke out across his brow. You were standing in front of him, head tilted and wondering what he was planning to do next.

“Class is over.” You reminded him. “Everyone’s left.”

Very slowly, he nodded. “Y-yeah. I can see that.”

His voice sounded as if it had been completely stripped down. Like he had screamed himself hoarse by saying those few words.

“Your secret admirer is probably waiting.” You tried to spur him. “We should get going before I change my mind and head home.”

He audibly swallowed past a lump in his throat. “Well—maybe that’s best. Yeah, I can wait until tomorrow.”

You eyed him incredulously. “You’re going to stay here until tomorrow. You’re insane, get up.”

“I’d rather not.”

“And I’d rather not grow old and die here.” You countered. “C’mon, Jihoon. Your admirer asked you to help them be brave, how exactly is this helping them?”

He had to admit, you had a point. If they were brave enough to put their feelings out there, he had to at least meet them half way.

Sighing loudly, he started to pry his fingers off his desk. “Alright, fine. We’ll do things your way.”

You rolled your eyes for perhaps the hundredth time. “You’re absolutely insufferable. Why do I hang out with you?”

“Because I’m funny.” He said with the most serious face in the world.

Which actually made you laugh.

“I hate you.” You chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get going while we’re still young.”

Jihoon inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm himself down.

This is just the beginning.

Except—it wasn’t.

He stood in the courtyard, seemingly alone, with the note that brought him there clutched tight in his hand. As his moral support you were keeping your distance, as promised, but no one else joined you. Minutes passed and he did his best to remain hopeful. It was hard, especially when a familiar voice nagged at the back of his mind. The same one he struggled with every day to ignore.

No one would ever like you, so why did you bother thinking otherwise?

While the negative thoughts slowly took over, Jihoon didn’t know what to do next. He was defeated, almost destroyed. And even though you walked up behind him and took his hand in yours, it did little to stop the bitter tears from welling in his eyes.

“I should’ve known…” He whispered angrily. “This was all just—a joke. It’s always a joke. Who could ever like me?”

“Stop it, Jihoon.” You hissed at him, squeezing his hand tighter. “They said they were scared, maybe they couldn’t follow through with it. Maybe they were afraid of being rejected. You never know what’s going through someone’s head. Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”

Nothing you said was going to make him feel better. He quickly wrenched himself from your grip and backed away from you.

“I’m going home.” He clipped. “Bye.”

Before he left, he made sure to crumple up the note and toss it at your feet. When his heart was broken, he wore it on his sleeve. You understood what Jihoon was feeling, he had been living with an extremely low self esteem due to his height and his general inability to make friends for as long as you knew him. He was quiet, shy, reserved, he was slow to open up to others and hesitant to trust. That’s why you tried to be excited for him, and now that things hadn’t gone as planned in more ways than one your heart ached just like his.

The next day, Jihoon strolled into class like a drunk zombie. By the looks of him, he hadn’t slept a wink. Too busy being destroyed by his own thoughts to bother with anything like sustenance or sleep. He took up his seat beside you, and you immediately shoved your desk into his.

“Still upset?” You asked, even though you already knew the answer.

Sluggishly he lifted his head up and then quickly dropped it back down.

It was worse than you thought.

“Are you going to talk to me today?” You teased in an attempt to get a reaction. “Or am I going to have to go bother Hansol?”

Grumbling slightly, the barely responsive mass that was your best friend raised his hand and dropped a crumpled wad of paper on your desk. At first, you assumed it was just another one of his letters. They weren’t uncommon when he was feeling—unwell.

But it was another note from his secret admirer.

You were startled because he didn’t usually stop at his locker in the morning.

Lee Jihoon, it started similarly.

I’m sorry for not showing up yesterday, I was scared. I couldn’t bring myself to face you, please don’t be mad at me. I’d like to keep writing you letters, if that’s okay. Let’s get to know each other and maybe one day I can be brave again.

Once you were finished reading, you immediately began analyzing Jihoon’s face again. You had never seen him look like this before, completely vacant. While he was hard to read to the entire world, he was always an open book to you. Now reading him was nearly impossible even with your expertise.

“What are you gonna do?”

He shrugged lazily. “I don’t know. Sit here for the rest of eternity. Wait for the soft embrace of death.”

“Jihoon.” You exasperated. “We both know you’re not actually going to do that.”

Except he actually might and you actually couldn’t take that chance.

“Are you going to write them a letter?” You tried, again. “Maybe that will work out better.”

“I already did.” He murmured. “I don’t think they want to read it though.”

“Jesus Christ…” You groaned loudly, taking Jihoon’s face in your hands and looking him dead in his lifeless eyes. “They still like you, they’re scared and human like the rest of us, it is not the end of the world! Give them another chance and stop being such a goddamn drama queen!”

Silence. Pure unadulterated and perfectly aggravating silence.

“Alright, you leave me no choice. I’m bringing out the big guns.”

Being careful to keep an eye on the teacher, you pulled out your phone and started texting Jihoon’s mother. According to your message, you and Jihoon were going to be studying late at the library, and he would probably need to spend the night at your house. Which wasn’t a complete lie, maybe you would get some studying done. But, in all honesty, you had other things in mind.

“Take your pick.” You instructed, a box set in each hand. “Descendants of the Sun, or Record of Youth.”

Immediately after school, you dragged your best friend to your house and sat him down in front of the TV. Your parents didn’t even question it when you told them this intervention was a matter of life and death, that the patient might need to be admitted for the night. They simply let you do what needed to be done.

Jihoon, who had been relatively catatonic for the past 24 hours, finally showed a glimmer of something. He gave the slightest suggestion of a nod towards Descendants of the Sun and you happily popped in the first disk. As you claimed a spot beside him, popcorn and banana milk in tow, he naturally relaxed against you. You were the only person who got to see him unguarded like that, the only person he himself would allow. And while he was typically someone who kept his true self hidden from the world, there was a part of him that would forever belong only to you.

“Thanks.” He practically whispered, resting his head on your shoulder. “I—I needed this.”

“I know.” You smiled. “Are you ready to talk yet?”

He sighed heavily. “No. Not really. I still have a lot of thinking to do.”

“Well, if you need help thinking you know where I’ll be.” You offered without wanting to seem pushy.

If you weren’t mistaken, you could’ve sworn he actually chuckled.

“Yeah. I do.”

Little by little, your best friend was slowly returning to normal—or as close to normal as you’ve ever seen him. Eventually he started getting sucked into the drama, going rigid when things got tense, and actively pretended he wasn’t crying whenever You Are My Everything played. It was, overall, a job well done. You could sleep easy knowing that Jihoon would be just fine. As you drifted off, you felt him hold your hand and squeeze it gently.

Everything was going to be okay.

And if only to prove that point, the next day was nothing like the one before. Jihoon was back to his old self as if nothing had happened at all. Just another Thursday without a word or whisper about the chaotic tornado his secret admirer had unleashed onto your day-to-day life. He even had a letter for you to read by the time lunch rolled around. Apparently, some freshman irritated him over something seemingly small. At least—to you it seemed barely worth mentioning. But nothing ever really felt small to Jihoon. It was all or nothing, always living in black and white. Which meant that almost everything was important to him in some way. So you read the letter, and you edited it gladly.

Once you were done, he had something else for you. Another note from the admirer.

“This is the third one, right?” You murmured, glancing it over once before looking up at him. “Have you written back yet? Besides the one where I assumed you insulted their very existence with your entire arsenal of hurtful words.”

The blush crawling up his neck was an answer in and of itself, but the thick stack of paper he pulled out of his backpack solidified it.

“I’ve tried a few times.” He admitted hesitantly. “Nothing I write is good enough.”

“Oh, only a few times?” You teased, knowing full well that Jihoon’s definition of a few was the same as calling Jane Eyre a short shopping list. “What’s got you so stuck? Usually you have no issues penning essays over trivial things like cracks in the sidewalk.”

His brow furrowed defiantly. “Hey, proper sidewalk and road maintenance is important to modern infrastructure. If we start overlooking cracks in the pavement, then what? What about traffic lights? Can we afford to allow a single bulb to go out? No, of course not. That’s anarchy.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Jihoon…” You started with an exasperated look. “I was joking.”

Trying to hide the fact that his blush was turning a deep crimson, and failing quite miserably, he pulled a paper from the stack and put it back in his bag. Also something he tried, and failed, to hide from you.

“Are you kidding me!” You laughed, raking a hand down your face. “Did you seriously have a letter in that pile you were going to send to our congressman?”

“No—yes—ugh!” He groaned. “Can we forget about the stupid sidewalk for a second! That’s not important right now! Help me! How do I do this?”

Deciding you had teased your best friend enough, you placed your chin in your hand and smiled at him. “How do you do what, exactly? I’ve never had anything to do with the letters you write, I just read them so someone knows how you’re feeling.”

Who were you kidding, you could never tease Jihoon enough.

He rolled his eyes so hard that he rolled his whole head with them. “Like you’ve ever needed further insight into my head, you always know what I’m thinking before I do.”

True.

“But I don’t understand the first thing about—this.” He finished with a labored sigh, gesturing sharply to the handwritten novel in front of him. “You know that better than anyone.”

Again, he was telling the truth. In the years you had known Jihoon he had never developed serious feelings towards someone else. He had barely entertained the notion since entering high school. He always talked himself out of it because feelings were complicated and bothersome. Plus, he was terrified of being rejected. Like most people are. His intrusive thoughts just so happened to be louder than most.

“I hate to break it to you, Jihoon,” You started in a whisper, “no one knows the first thing about this. Not even me. The only person who can help you is yourself.”

His sour expression made it obvious that he obviously didn’t like your response. “Great. Super helpful. Thank you for your continued wisdom.”

When he moved away from you, you grabbed him by the sweater and pulled him back in. “Why do you always stop listening to me when I’m about to make my point?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Because it takes you forever to fucking get there.”

“Alright, you got me there.” You chuckled. “Listen, I’m not kidding when I say that you’ve got to do this one on your own. As much as I can usually sense what feelings are doing somersaults in your stomach, this is a first for you and therefore a first for me. I’ve never seen you like this before, so unfortunately you’ve got to discover this one on your own.”

As you spoke, his features slowly softened until all that remained was a very nervous teenager who didn’t want to screw up his first real chance at love. That’s all Jihoon was at his core, that’s all anyone was.

But you had to admit he almost looked kind of cute.

Almost.

“How do you always know what to say?” He grumbled while crossing his arms. “It’s annoying.”

“You’ve got a really weird way of saying thank you.” You smirked playfully. “Well, maybe this last nugget of advice will get you started in the right direction.”

“Why are you always—” He seethed through his teeth. “How are you still not at whatever your point is!”

You shrugged, because you honestly had no clue. “I'll get there when I get there. You want to hear it or not—”

“Spit. It. Out.”

“Now is that anyway to—”

Wow. You stopped, suddenly fearing for your measly life. If looks could kill—

“Alright, alright, you win.” You conceded. “If you’re having issues writing a letter to your secret admirer, here’s my advice. Stop trying to put words to your feelings and start putting feelings into words. You’re spending too much time trying to say it perfectly that you’re not saying it at all. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else, it doesn’t even need to make sense to you. So long as you put them out into the world, they’ll be heard and one day they’ll be understood. You get me?”

The look on his face was—strange. You had a hard time placing it, which should’ve been weirder than it was. In fact, you were seeing lots of different sides to Jihoon lately, sides you never thought existed. This time his eyes widened, the aforementioned scarlet blush had disappeared, and there was a radiance to him that you had never seen before. Like suddenly he could see clearly through the storm of his thoughts.

“Thank you.” He exhaled with a smile. “I’ve never thought about it like that before.”

Feeling triumphant, you wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m starting to wonder what you’d do without me, Jihoon. Three days and you’ve been completely undone and redone by this letter.”

“Letters are powerful things.” He muttered. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives. You taught me that.”

“I guess I’m a pretty good teacher.” You boasted, giving him a squeeze. “Despite the fact that I’m actually quite terrible with words.”

He shrugged off your arm. “Except you always know what to say, how exactly does that work?”

“Just because I can make you see reason doesn’t mean I’m good with words.” You laughed easily. “That simply means that I’ve perfected the art of understanding the impossible. Lee Jihoon. I can’t use words like you do. Trust me I’ve tried, I can never get the words right.”

For a moment, he didn’t have any sort of response. Which was definitely weird. It was a well-known fact that he was terrible with the sorts of words he had to speak, but he didn’t have issues when talking to you. That’s because you were friends, best friends. There had never been this sort of unnerving silence before. Not that you could remember, anyway.

What is going on in your head, Jihoon? You found yourself wondering since you couldn’t read his face. Have you started to figure it out?

“Sorry, I was thinking.” He muttered suddenly, shaking his head. “But I know what I need to write now. Will you read this one too? Even if it gets pretty long?”

“Of course!” You exclaimed with a smile. “When have I ever shied away from a challenge?”

The soft glisten in his eyes made your heart flutter.

“Never.”

When the bell rang and you parted ways, you wondered if Jihoon had ever written you a letter.

Well there’s a first time for everything.

For the next week, he was in full writer mode. And there were no more notes from his secret admirer, not that you expected there to be any. Every chance he got he was scribbling something down on whatever surface he could get his hands on. Textbooks, paper, his arm, he was more inspired than you’d ever seen before and nothing was going to stop him. He didn’t even come over to your house over the weekend, a ritual you hadn’t broken in the ten plus years you had known each other. It was a lonely week, for sure, but you knew it was for a good cause.

Then, after what felt like an eternity of silence, he approached you in the courtyard with a single sheet of paper in his hand.

“Hey…” He started uneasily, his grip tightening. “How’re you?”

Seriously? You mused to yourself with a smile. “I’m good, how’s the writing?”

“Done.” He clipped. “And—I think I covered everything.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, eyeing the sheet of paper. “With all of that writing I thought you’d have a novel for me.”

He shook his head, while a blush crawled up his neck. “Sometimes being concise is more effective than being overly wordy.”

“That’s true.” You grinned. “Easier for me to edit anyway.”

Nodding, he shoved the paper into your hand. “Here. Take your time, I don’t want you to rush it.”

“I won’t.” You promised, resisting the urge to start reading right away. “I know you put a lot of thought into this.”

With that, he turned around and walked off without another word. Leaving you holding something that looked like little more than pen ink on paper, but felt like a confession on fire. Once he was out of eyesight, you exhaled a breath you had been holding unintentionally and started reading.

To the person I have never loved before. It began, and you weren’t prepared for the roller coaster you had willingly climbed into.

This isn’t for the person I’ve loved all along, no. This is for you, someone who managed to stir my emotions more than a raging monsoon with only a few words and the hint of a promise. Who are you? I wondered to myself, because you were without equal. How could I have missed you? You were extraordinary. You didn’t have a face, all I had of you was a letter slipped into my locker, you were a ghost and I was set ablaze by your words. I had never felt like that before, my heart was unprepared. As was I. You made me question everything, and made me realize things I had never seen before.

What I felt for you wasn’t love, even though I thought it was at first. You presented me with feelings I decided I would never feel, so I could only assume that it was love. I felt like a live wire, ready to spark at a moment's notice. All I could think about was you. The infinite options and scenarios I dreamt up, all because of you, was astronomical. It was exhilarating, and I found myself drunk on the endless possibilities that you presented me. What else could make me feel that way, if it wasn’t love?

The answer was one I didn’t expect, and it hit me like a tsunami. I started to feel that way towards someone I already know. Someone who has cared for me more than anyone should, they have been my best friend for years so how could I suddenly feel the same way? How could my friendship for them become intertwined with the love I thought was solely reserved for you? And how could I have missed it after being enveloped by their warmth for so long?

You changed all of that. You made me see clearly for the first time in years and I was completely undone. Everything I knew was suddenly challenged, my feelings towards the most important person in my life changed without any warning, and I didn’t know what to do. How could I ask them, a friend, to see me as anything more? I was lost, trapped in an endless loop of destructive thoughts and desire. Desperately wanting to scream my feelings from the rooftop while fearing the voice that would have to put words to them. Your feelings for me awakened my feelings for them, and suddenly the words that have given me comfort for so long escaped me.

Still, you helped me.

In ways I can only thank with this letter.

You helped me because you are the one who told me to start writing letters. It’s always been you. You are the one who has given my thoughts meaning when I struggled to communicate with the world. One that could never understand someone like me. You are the one who wrote me a letter, asking a coward to help you be brave. It took me a while to realize that you were one and the same, but I picked up on the hints you left behind. I’m sorry it took me this long to figure it out.

Would you have showed up had I not asked you to come with me? I think about that often, were you only afraid because my initial thought was that there was no way it could be you? The impossible notion that my best friend could love me anymore than they already do? I have a thousand more questions I want to ask you, but I think I’m brave enough now to ask you in person.

So I’m going to end this letter here, because you deserve so much more than the words I’ve hidden behind for years. A letter I started to write for someone I thought I didn’t know, to the person I’ve never loved before. Funny, how it ended up being a letter to the person I’ve loved all along.

As you read the last line, tears already streaming down your face, you had never felt happier.

“You figured it out.” You whispered, almost in disbelief. “For a second there I thought you never would.”

You don’t know when Jihoon came back, but he was suddenly standing in front of you taking your hand in his. “It really shouldn’t have taken me that long, I’ve only seen your handwriting a thousand times before.”

Laughter bubbled past your lips as you dried your tears with your sleeve. “I was terrified that you would’ve figured me out from the very beginning. Looks like I really give you too much credit sometimes.”

“You do.” He agreed. “So, what did you think of the letter? Any edits you can think of?”

“This isn’t the type of letter that needs editing.” You stated plainly. “It would take away from the author’s meaning.”

“What would that be?” He asked, clearly teasing you. “Enlighten me.”

You shook your head defiantly. “No, no way. It’s your letter, why don’t you tell me what it’s supposed to mean?”

Part of him didn’t want to make it easy, that much you knew with absolute certainty. But, for the sake of time and your poor heart, he would let you off the hook. Just this once.

“That I love you.” He said softly. “More than anything else.”

Choking out a sob, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in close.

“I love you too, Jihoon.”

In the end, neither of you were good with words, but you only needed to know what to say to each other.

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captnjacksparrow · 3 years

Note

I wish people would stop caring about the canon pairings and marriages in Naruto/Boruto because they should have absolutely no relevance for SNS shippers in terms of validating said ship. Those who say we are delusional because “Well, Naruto married Hinata so she is THE one he loves!” (I'll focus more on Naruto's marriage here... Is Sasuke's even a marriage?) simply don’t get that it just doesn't really matter who Naruto and Sasuke married because that in no way diminishes their feelings for each other. The main plot of the series revolves around the bond between Naruto and Sasuke. It is their story. They are each other's most important people and this was established back in Land of Waves arc even before the dramatic events that take place on the bridge - the whole point of that very first arc was making this a fact right from the beginning, because the story has always been and was always supposed to be about the two of them and the profound love and understanding that grows between them ever since they exchanged glances, smiles and pouts as lonely little broken kids. No reason to list all proof of their feelings and bond here, it has been done extensively, and if somebody watched the show/read the manga and missed it, they are missing half a brain. That these boys love each other more than anyone else is absolutely obvious.

So what about the canon pairings? Kishimoto stated time and time again that his focus was never romance, and that is not because he can't write romance as we know it (he clearly did), but it’s a matter of concept: what HE considers romance is the attraction that unites people with the purpose of marriage (confessing your romantic love for japanese people is the same as saying you want to be in a relationship, because feelings shouldn’t be voiced without an intention), and that, to him, is NOT the greatest expression of love, nor does it represent the most special bond two people can share.

It is understandable that westerners put so much weight into marriage because we consider it the epitome of love. Well, the truth is marriage in Japanese culture is mainly the only socially admissible means to have children and has very little to do with romantic love. In fact, in Japanese literature, it is much more common for unmarried couples to love each other than married ones. Obviously, there is no absolute truth when it comes to feelings and human relationships, what I'm doing here is generalising social norms and expectations (not exposing my opinion on them - that would turn this rant into something else entirely). A large number of Japanese marriages are loveless (and arranged, but no point getting into that either) and what motivates choosing a spouse is their ability to fulfill familial duties, meaning: is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? Is the man willing and capable of putting his occupation above everything else, working extremely hard and for long hours, with total dedication and diligence for his job, to the point of not even seeing his family most of the time, as an honorable man should do as a provider? That's what makes a GOOD married couple: two people following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family (again, please, this is not MY opinion!). What a Japanese man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children.

Do these descriptions ring any bells?

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true. Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it, and trying to discredit the obvious unmatched connection and feelings between two characters because they never got married to each other or married someone else is ludicrous. Yeah, a married couple can love each other deeply and above anyone else, but that is just not what marriage is ABOUT in Japanese culture and definitely not what Kishimoto wanted us to believe was the case here after dedicating 699 chapters to a story about the special bond between two boys that didn’t culminate in marriage.

You know what IS a symbol of romantic love in Japan? Being willing to die together when the love you feel goes against your moral obligations, holding on to the belief that you will be reunited in the afterlife, where you will be free of any burden and able to love freely.

Are more bells being rung?!

Oh, some bonus info: We also tend to associate sex with romantic love. Well, Japanese married couples with children rarely have sex, if at all. After a woman becomes a mother, she is no longer considered sexually desirable and becomes a mother figure to her husband as well (what happened to Hinata’s big "attributes" in Boruto? Huh). This is especially true when couples sleep in separate rooms and the mother shares a bed with her children. (Hinata co-sleeps with Himawari and we know Naruto sleeps in a separate room. Just saying.)

What's your say?

Is Sasuke's even a marriage?

Geezz!!!! LoLLLLL!!!! This sentence just made me cackle so hard for a good 5 minutes, Anon!!!!!

Hmmm.... So let's get back to your ask.

Well, I don't know how to react to this ask, Anon. Because, I don't know whether you are from Japan or you have a very close Japanese friend who might've told you all these cultural thing about marriage and relationships.

So, what I am going to do is to analyze from the facts you have provided , combine with my own cultural relevance and provide my answer. If there is any Japanese readers who are reading this, you can confirm or dispel this by sending me an ask. But again, I don't want exceptional case like, 'No, my family is different'. I want to know about the general lifestyle of a common citizen and their married life.

Having said that, this ask made me just yell at myself, 'Goshh!!!! Seriously???'

Because whatever you said, It fucking exist in my country too and is still followed by almost 70% of people in my country and I absolutely detest it. That is,

Most of the marriages here are loveless nd arranged - Check

Is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? - Check

People following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family - Check Check

What a man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). - Check Check

Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children. - Awww!!! A million Check.

That's why I was envious of Western people in this aspect, because they have a freedom to choose their own partner without any time constraints and when they do, their marriage can be said to be 'The Epitome of Love'.

My parents marriage is also an arranged one. And whenever they have disagreement and that leads to verbal war, they let out this words, 'I'm here with you because of my 2 daughters otherwise I would've left you long back'. So... Yeah. Here, most of the marriages are child-centered. Again, it's not just my opinion. Majority of the arranged marriage based family revolve around their child.

And I was born, a year after my parents' marriage, and If I hadn't been born, then people will question my parent's fertility factor and start to discriminate them. So, I can boldly claim that, I was not born out of Love or something. I was born because of social obligations.

But it doesn't mean, my parents don't love each other now. How should I say???? It's like a Stockholm Syndrome??!!!! Like when you stay with a person for a long time, you will eventually start to develop some feelings over the course of the time. It took them 15 years to come to a complete understanding of each other. It's the same case with many couples here.

Considering all these, Sasuke never even stayed with Sakura enough to make her understand him, So I wonder what kind of couple are they????? Weird!!!!!

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true.

Awww!!!! Man, Seriously???? I made this claim long back in this post where I said, these women were used as a tool to bring out Next Generation Kids. My claim was based on Analytical Perspective.

And then one of the rabid SS stan reblogged my post and pulled out a hetero card stating, 'They are married and blah blahh...' when in reality, I never discussed about their sexuality in that post. That post was purely based on the number of pages each hetero couples shared with each other against the number of pages Sasuke & Naruto shared together.

Now, you have provided a cultural perspective for those shitty canon pairings.

On one side, I feel the need to smirk, because I am right.

But on the other side, I feel bad like, 'Is this how, this show must go on?? What are you trying to convey from this?'.

Hmmm.... It's interesting to know this. Anon.

This is where it differs slightly in my country.

Romantic love here is,

No matter what happens, I'll stand with you, You are just not alone. I will leave my fucking clan, parents, relatives if they don't approve you and we will start a new life somewhere.

[[Here, marriages happen mostly between their clan members. If you love a person from another clan, you will be ostracized or tortured or honour killed by your very parents. It just differs from clan to clan. I was subjected to this same problem and that's why I hate my Clan and left my parents. And this is also one of the reason why I love Itachi. Because we share similar Ideals. That is, Not to be obsessed over your clan and think beyond this restriction.

Also, here in Asian Culture if someone is willing to leave their family (when they don’t approve you) and prefer you over everything.... It means.... that's some Love beyond Comprehension. Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his Family (like Sakura and Kakashi) and like to stand with Sasuke... Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his own family and go on a long mission with Sasuke]]

So does it remind you of anything?????

It's the whole SNS dynamics starting from their childhood to VoTE2. That's why I started to ship SNS, because it represents the true love we always wish for.

Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it

This is very true, Anon.

I mean, they don’t even have to take a groundbreaking route.

They should have given everyone an open ending, just like Kishi left at chapter 699. What is the need of a marriage, if Naruto is going to adopt Kawaki??? If Orochimaru was going to create a Baby Artificially?? If Rock Lee is going to have a child out of nowhere???

But I am happy that SNS bond is the only one that wasn’t diminished in this hot mess called Burrito. So, atleast we should be happy about that.

When someone pulls the marriage card, I just block them immediately because they are not even worth having a good conversation. NH will pull out the Last movie and SS will pull out, ‘Sasuke called Sakura ‘My Wife’.... So, it’s just pointless.

So, to conclude

Considering my Analytical perspective, I already made earlier in other post and your ask which provides some insight about Japanese culture which eerily resembles the culture I belong to, It all makes sense that this whole pairings and trash is just for the sake of bringing out Next Generation series and those boys never loved those girls whole heartedly. And I agree with you on this.

#ask #sns #sasunaru #anti ss #anti nh #antisakura #antihinata #anti sakura #anti hinata

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ptitelidio · 3 years

Text

“Black and White Contrast” a rivetra theory

Hi Rivetra fans, actually this is my first post on tumblr and I hope you will like it. Just to say a few words before beginning my rivetra theory, I ship Rivetra sooo hard but I like and respect other ships. Please if you get to see this post and like or share my opinion, an answer would be so cool!

PS. Sorry for my English, I’m not a fluent speaker, but I try my best :) enjoy!

First, basically I called this post ‘Black and White contrast’ because I found out that the relationship between Levi and Petra is like this, a contrast, in many fields.

To show this I will use photos of manga panels, of the anime and Petra’s song, the light of two wings.

Let’s begin with the song. The first opposition we can see is in Levi personality; Petra describes Levi like that “Your sterness always stems from gentleness And I felt a warm light behind those harsh words“, basically she sees his true nature, behind the darkness, there is a light, that’s what she says.

Now the other contrast is between the painful and the happy moments she went through: “ I recall plentry of painful things.. But I made it to where I am , Free of doubts.. Sharing smiles and laughter along the way “

Now she says: “ Tiny feathers gather one by one Forming a white wing Fragile lives are lost one by one Leaving behind a black wing “

That’s when we get to read something with ‘black’ and ‘white’, here she talks about two wings, a black and a white. The white being composed of feathers (analogy with soldiers lives lost one by one), and apparently she talks about a black wing left behind... we’ll get to see more info about it further on. But it seems to be ralted with death, isn’t it?

“ Though a bird may be born to soar across the skies I’m sure it won’t be able to fly well with only one wing But you will shoulder the determination of all that is white and black And guide everyone to great distances beyond the walls “

She says that a bird can’t fly without two wings, so the black and the white ones. And he will ‘shoulder the determination of all that is white and black’, in other words the determination to fight of the deads and the living is something he has to carry on. She is talking to Levi, and says that he is the one to guide everyone beyond the walls,

Then, she finally says before dying:

“Don’t forget that you have the light of dual wings sprouting from your back And if I were to give a name to the light I felt…yes.. it would be… Hope..“

So once again that the light of dual wings (black and white) shows that he carry the spirit of the deads and the living, I repeat this on purpose because you will see that the symbolism of the contrast has not been chosen by chance, but on purpose.

The second other point is that she perceives that light as hope, obviously we understand why, Levi is considered as the humanity’s greatest, so he’s the most expected to save the Eldian people.

Now.. let’s show the black and white contrast elsewhere.

Do a black and a white wings ring a bell?

Yup... exactly. And I’ll prove that they can symbolise Levi and Petra relationship. They can also show many other relationships in the SC but here, and with the song, it takes a different dimension, like thir relationship was like a black and white wing = black -> death, sadness... and white -> light, hope, or life

Petra is dead and Levi is alive,

Petra sees light inside Levi, whereas he grew up on a dark place (underground) and frequented bad people everyday (criminels etc...)

Now let’s focus on the anime...

What do you notice in this passage? This was when they were going to the former Survey Corps HQ with Eren.

Petra’s horse is WHITE and Levi’s is BLACK, here Levi’s one does not seems so black but you can check on other photos in the Internet and you’ll see that he’s actually black, but now because of light and shadow it’s a bit light but whatever.

So, you probably notice that nearly every horse is colored in brown but not Levi’s, Petra’s and Erwin’s. Some other horses are colored in light brown but it’s not like them three, the colors are strikely different. And in the manga the horses were all brown basically, so why this change of color? Not for nothing obviously, the great messages remain in little details..

This photos shows that the horse are basically all brown.

Another contrast is Levi and Petra’s physical appearance, they are obviously different. He is black-haired, she is blond (ginger in the anime but the contrast stays with light color and dark color..) even their eyes in the anime are different but that’s not the essence of the theory, that was just a remark.

Now look at the Petra’s and Levi’s scene when she died and he looked down at her:

Isayama pictured the contrast in dark and light, notice how Levi appears in the light part of the grass and Petra in the dark one, she is dead and he’is alive. And bigger than that, there is also Levi’s Wings of Freedom emblem on his cloack, a double contrast where the white one is in the right and the black one on the left. Petra is on the ground, Levi in the air. They complete each other every time.

The contrast is even more striking in this panel:

The position of the panels for comparison, the position of the heads and eyes, Levi looking down and Petra looking up. The contrast in their hair is also emphcised here. Don’t you notice something else? If no, look at the Wings of Freedom emblem I put...

Yes... Levi is at the left (black wing) and Petra is at the right (black wing)... the analogy is here for those who searched for it.

And once again, their life status, one alive but painfully sad and the other dead but with an unfulfilled dream and she didn’t get the chance to confess to Levi, I quote:

“ And so.. I will die.. believing that.. Oh….how i wish this would last… But…it seems like my time is up… I have…one last thing…..I would like to tell you.. No… Nevermind…It’s Nothing…. “ (Petra’s song)

Let’s continue.

Remember, we said that Petra tought Levi was the hope of humanity’s survival (she says it in her song). Now, did you know that Levi thought exactly the same of her? I will show it to you, and that was basically implied on Petra’s last scene.

We all know how Petra put trust over all other things, work team was very important to her. The sentence that we remember the most of her is “trust us”, in her last scene -- when she and her team were riding horses and the Female Titan was hunting them -- she said that exact sentence to Eren.

PS: It is written in French, but you can check it in English on your own if you want.

And everybody knows that Levi didn’t know if it was the good choice whether to put his trust on his comrades or to just rely on his own strengh. Well, on that day, Levi had a strong proof that he should believe in his comrades.

Here: Petra: “Captain?!”,

Levi: “He’s a real monster, I know that very well, not only because he has Titan abilities... no matter how strong he force with which it is immobilized, no matter how resistant is the cage in whic he is held. Nobody will ever be able to bend his will”

-> So what does Levi say? He considers that Eren will to fight titans can’t be bend, in other words he is like a monster, ready to do anything to kill his enemies. But basically, Levi’s stance is that NOBODY can’t change his mind. He was sure of that.

And guess what happens? Eren hearing that from Levi wanted to prove that he was not a monster, he had enough.

Eren “ I had enough. I don’t want to be treated like a monster...”

And the phrase that Petra told him definitely convinced him to do the choice to trust his new squad.

Now look at Levi’s face... he’s startled by Eren’s decision. Yes, he who was so sure that Eren will transform, Petra’s insistence to trust his team proved Levi wrong. That’s why he was so surprised. That scene and Levi’s expression is even on the anime, if you want to check it out.

Well, nobody before succeeded to do this: make Eren change his mind, he’s usually the one to ignore Mikasa’s advices even if he cares a lot for her. Petra, even if she was not so close to him, actually succeeded this task. This startled Levi. Who could change a monster’s mind? Yes, the one to carry hope for humanity. Actually in the anime, EVERY soldier carries that hope obviously, but in that precise moment, Petra was the hope Levi wanted for humanity.

This reminds us of the song, when she says that she though Levi’s light was hope, actually she was also hope, like every one of her comrades. Now, Petra had that same light, hope.

Oh and remember that panel from Chapter 112:

Yes. “Hope for Humanity’s survival” and beside what character? Petra. Everything is linked lmao, Isayama is a pure genius.

And now that I read this panel alone, it’s like Petra could have said these lines ‘I did it... because I believed he was the hope for humanity’s survival...” in other words, I sacrificed my life for Levi because I thought he was the hope for humanity’s survival. It could fit VERY WELL, I don’t think this is a coincidence because she said the exact same thing in her song...

PS: The Wings of Freedom can represent many pairs in AOT like Erwin and Levi for example, but Petra and Levi formed the wings of freedom too. That’s not a coincidence if Erwin’s horse was also white like Petra’s one, and we know that Erwin convinced Levi to joined the SC the day Ferlan and Isabel died. That day, Levi developed the Ackerbond with Erwin when the latter stated, with his federator charisma, that we can’t get to know the future etc. So Levi had the Ackerbond with Erwin so that’s quite obvious to justify why they can represent the wings of freedom, but what was Petra for Levi apart of a squad member?

Yes, she was special for him whereas he didn’t have the Ackerbond with her, and that’s why she’s even more significant, his blood didn’t play a role in his relationship with her. The only answer I find is, simply, love.

#rivetra petra levi theory levixpetra petraxlevi rivetratheory aot

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horansqueen · 3 years

Text

New Angel - Chapter 13

story masterlist [x]

chapter 1 ☆ chapter 2 ☆ chapter 3 ☆ chapter 4 ☆ chapter 5 ☆ chapter 6 ☆ chapter 7 ☆ chapter 8 ☆ chapter 9 ☆ chapter 10 ☆ chapter 11 ☆ chapter 12

NOTES

☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.5k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! (added @niallerlover ‘s request in this chapter! 😊💖) ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

NIALL

We stared at each other and I was pretty sure her heart was thumping against her chest as hard as mine was. I wanted to tell her what she wanted to hear but I couldn't, and I knew that somehow, I was going to hurt her. I also felt like it wouldn't be the last time and that thought made me swallow hard. I should let her go right now and make sure I wouldn't make things worse. If I let her go, she could be with someone who was ready to commit in a way I wasn't, and I had no idea when I would be. I should stop everything with her and leave, I should tell her I don't love her and let her fall for someone else, but I couldn't seem to find the words to do that. Perhaps it was purely selfish and my thoughts were suddenly invaded with my ex girlfriend and everything she had told me only a few hours before. I swallowed my tears and breathed in deeply, trying to get back to my senses.

"I was a bit... baffled by your confession." I admitted, glancing down before forcing myself to look up in her eyes again. "I like you and you know it, but I'm not ready for a relationship and I don't know when I'll be." I felt my heart twist knowing that my next sentence could hurt her but I had to say it. "And I don't know who it'll be with."

Her face changed, her lips parted and my heart sank in my chest.

"I see." she whispered, looking away.

"I'm sorry, Summer. I just can't guarantee you we're going to be official at some point because I have no idea what I want." I breathed in and sighed when I realized she was avoiding my eyes. "I'll understand if you want to stop everything."

She closed her eyes and I was scared I had broken her heart when that was really not my intention. I never thought some random girl I had met in a bar could fall for me so fast and I started wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Summer was beautiful, smart, joyful and sweet. Anyone with half a brain would be happy to date her but the thought of throwing myself into a new relationship scared me and made me nauseous at the same time. It was not her, it was just that I didn't trust anyone anymore, or almost. Ever since Grace broke my heart, I couldn't imagine giving what was left of it to anyone, and I was totally ready to face the consequences of it, even if it meant I would lose someone like Summer, or that I'd ruin the last chance I could have with Grace.

"No, I get it." she whispered before swallowing hard. "I knew it was too fast, I knew you said you weren't over your ex girlfriend, I'm sorry I insisted. It's just... I like you, and I had to tell you."

I felt half-relieved and half-bad for her answer. I didn't want to lose her but if she had decided to give up on me, I would only have Grace to deal with. I opened my lips to tell her about my ex girlfriend coming back but quickly changed my mind. I wanted to take a decision before talking about the other to them both. It was probably a bad idea but I had no idea what I would tell them and I felt like mentioning the other would make both of them feel bad.

I was in deep shit and I knew it, and I also knew I had to take a decision fast, but I was too confused to think straight.

"What do we do now?" I asked gently, raising my eyebrows. "Do you need time?"

"No..." she sighed, shaking her head. "I mean, I need to study a lot this week so I guess we can see each other next weekend?"

"That works for me."

"We can text though, and I'll call you whenever I have a minute."

My eyes roamed on her and I swallowed hard. All of this started to dangerously seem like a real relationship but I decided not to mention anything. How many times would I need to have this conversation with Summer?

"Alright, darling."

She sent me a sad smile and walked up to me quickly before wrapping her arms around my chest. It took me a second or two to react and finally hugged her back. We heard the door open and a voice came to us from the hall but Summer didn't move.. In fact, she held me tighter against her but I couldn't help it and turned around just in time to see Andrew's smile fall.

"Oh, I didn't know you were here."

I raised my eyebrows and pressed my lips together in somewhat of a sorry smile and finally, Summer moved away from me. I turned to send her a smile too and she brought her shoulders up and close to her cheeks before tilting her head.

"I thought you two were... mad at each other." Andrew added, catching Summer's attention.

"Yea but we're good now."

"Cool."

It suddenly felt extremely awkward but I didn't want to get into this at all. Obviously, Andrew had feelings for Summer but she seemed to be quite oblivious about it and I was not going to be the one to point it out to her. I started wondering if maybe she'd be happier with him but felt her hand slide on my chest.

"Andrew's here to study with me." she explained, making my lips curl a bit more.

It's only when my eyes met hers that I realized she was mentioning it because she was scared I was jealous. I raised my eyebrows as my heart jumped in my chest and finally licked my lips.

"Okay, I'll leave you too." I just replied, still smiling. "I'll see you soon."

I walked until the door and made a quick head movement to Andrew on my way as Summer followed me. She leaned against the side of the door as I walked out and I just turned around to send her one last smile before waving and running down the stairs.

---

My heart thumped in my chest the whole ride home and when I closed the door behind myself, I quickly rushed to Millie's room. I had to talk to someone and I knew she was the only one who was ready to listen to me. I could have tried with Louis but he was stuck in his little world with his new girlfriend and I knew how that felt. It was a bit useless to call him especially knowing that he wouldn't be completely listening to me anyway. However, I quickly regretted my decision when I opened Millie's door. I should have knocked, I knew it, but I was lost in my thoughts and I didn't think.

"Mill, I really need to t-" I stopped myself and helped my breath before muttering a low "Oh shit."

She grabbed the blanket of her bed and threw it over her as I quickly closed my eyes and when I repeated 'Oh shit.' again, she started laughing. It was not a nervous or embarrassed laughter, it was a real laugh that made my heart skip a beat. I turned around quickly and closed the door behind myself as I kept hearing Millie laugh from the other side. I leaned against the wall and slid down until I was sitting on the floor before leaning my forehead on my knees, letting out a short groan. I hadn't expected to see my friend masturbating and I felt extremely guilty for not knocking. I was so lost in my head on that day that I didn't seem to have place anymore for judgement and clearly, it had played against me.

I heard the door open again but it took me a while to look up only to meet Millie's smiling face. I probably would have been a bit annoyed if someone had caught me touching myself because they didn't take the time to knock but she just smiled more when our eyes and licked her lips.

"You can come in, I put my toys away."

"Mill!" I let out, getting up quickly. "That's too much info!"

"If you didn't want info, Horan, you should have knocked. I told you I was going to masturbate before you left!" she argued, turning around as I closed the door behind myself. "Now you're stuck with that image in your brain forever!"

The satisfied smile on her lips made my heart get back to a normal been and I chuckled. "Alright, fair enough. I'm sorry, Millie."

"It's cool, don't sweat it." she shrugged, sitting on her bed. I noticed she had actually made it and I walked closer, not daring to sit down too. "Everyone does it, and I'm pretty sure you didn't see much."

It was true, I had barely seen anything, but the thought in itself was quite nice. It made me think that I would have to use my hand too all week since Summer was busy and the thought of asking Grace to have sex crossed my mind but I quickly blinked a few times, pushing it away. It was an horrible idea and I knew it.

"You're right."

"Now, tell me what you wanted to talk about."

I sighed and sat next to her, my eyes lost in space as I shook my head slightly. "When I left, Summer was with her friend Andrew and, they were about to study together."

"Mm, I see." Millie let out, nodding slowly. "You know, it's normal to be jealous. But I think she made it clear that you're the one she likes."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and closed my eyes, a bit scared of what Millie was going to say after I told her the truth. "That's the problem. I'm not jealous at all." I admitted firmly. "I'm sick to my stomach thinking Grace may have fucked with an other guy but thinking about Summer and Andrew having sex at this exact moment?" I shrugged and finally turned to look in Millie's eyes. "I really don't care."

When her gaze met mine, I quickly looked away. I tried to think about something else than Millie touching herself but it wasn't easy and I cleared my throat as she sighed low. I felt her move on the bed and when I glanced at her, I noticed she was leaning against the wall almost in the same position than when I entered.

"I mean, you still love Grace, and you don't have the same feelings for Summer. To me it's quite legit." she admitted, tilting her head. "You can't force feelings for Summer, you know? But that doesn't mean they won't develop with time."

"Just like your feelings for Louis will disappear with time."

She seemed to think for a second and shrugged a shoulder. "Falter, yea. Disappear completely, I don't know. I hope so."

"Did he ever catch you masturbating too?" I asked, my lips curling into a smirk.

She chuckled and grabbed a pillow before hitting me with him roughly. I had to joke about the situation or I clearly wouldn't be able to think about something else.

"Catch, no! But he did see me, and I saw him."

My face twisted in a grimace and I raised my nose up. "Why did I ask?" I whined, making Millie laugh. "My two best friends made nasty shit all the time, this is crazy!"

"Well, now one of your best friends gets no action and when she wants to take care of herself, you walk in her room without knocking!"

"Need some help?" I joked, an amused smile on my lips.

"No! I order on amazon, thank you!"

I laughed and she did too before I turned my body slightly her way, still sitting on her bed. "I talked with Louis, I think he understood but..."

"But what?"

I licked my lip and breathed in before sighing. I didn't dare to look in her eyes for a few seconds and finally did. All she did was nod and send me a sad smile.

"But he really loves her." she just let out in a sad and soft tone. "Don't worry, I already knew that."

"So, Summer is busy all week and I really don't want to see Grace for now." I quickly pointed out after a minute or two of silence. I was desperate to change the subject and our love stories were disasters we clearly needed a break from. "How about we just spend the week together?"

Millie frowned, not completely sure of what I was proposing. "You and I? Spending time together like real friends?"

"Yea! We both need some distraction. No love story, no relationship bullshit. Just two best friends enjoying each other's company and having fun. How's that to you?"

Millie sighed and sat up before moving her upper body closer to me and raising her eyebrows. I looked deeply into her green eyes and she pressed her lips together. "At the end of the week, do you think you'll be able to choose which girl your heart desires?"

My eyes roamed on her face and I nodded very lightly. "Hopefully."

"We need to make a list or pros and cons." she proposed, moving slightly farther. "One of each for each girl every day. Then we can compare the lists this weekend."

"You should also make a list of all the things Louis did that got on your nerves." I pointed out, making her chuckle low.

"Okay, deal." she nodded. "But I work tomorrow."

"No problem, I'll pick you up and we can hang out." I just said, getting up and passing my hand in my hair. "But for now, I'm starving, I'm gonna go grab a bite, do you want me to bring you something back?" I asked, an other cheeky smile drawing itself slowly on my lips as I took a few steps back in the door's direction. "You're probably gonna be hungry after your masturbation session."

She quickly grabbed a pillow and threw it at me, making me laugh. I dodged it with my elbow and heard her laugh too as I picked the pillow on the floor to throw it back at her.

"Burgers?" I asked, raising my eyebrows while she chuckled.

"Yes, thank you!"

I nodded and reached for the knob before opening the door and sending my friend an other smile. I liked the deal we made and thinking that we would actually spend time together without lovers or fuck friends made me feel lighter. It was exactly what I needed and I was ready to make the best out of that week off.

"I'll text you when I get back, just in case you're not done."

Her lips curled and she chuckled, tilting her head. "Good idea!"

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan story #niall horan love story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan au #my fanfics #newangel

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lovenhlboys · 3 years

Text

From a Distance (E.Pettersson X Reader)

Chapter 4

Masterlist

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A/N: hello there!!! here is the next chapter, I'm so so sorry it took me so long, I was sick for 5 days and no feeling unmotivated, but I hope the others will not take nearly as long!! I really hope you like it and please LMK what you think!! And as always, thank you to my babe Ash ( @imagines-r-s ) for helping me with literally everything🥰💕💕

change in POV is signalized by:

Y/N= regular ELIAS= italics

(any other info is on the masterlist)

Warnings: lots of cursing, specifically excessive use of the word "ass", mentions of iCarly , I think thats it, if you think I missed a warning please inform me!!!

Summary: Brocks plan continues... more stuff happens

Word Count: 2.82k

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ———————— >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

There was an awkward pause where, to you, it looked like Elias was thinking really hard about something.

“...wait,” he finally spoke.

“Yeah?”

“Okay, like a few weeks ago, we were in the hotel room and, you were upset with Marky because of the whole Gabe Landeskog thing,” he started.

You thought for a second and- oh, “Oh...shit. No. No, no Elias, I'm not having this conversation right now,” you knew exactly what he was talking about since that exact moment had caused about 3 panic attacks in the past month.

“You don't even know what I’m going to say,” he said with a little laugh at how you were reacting.

“Oh yes, I do.”

“Ok, Y/N wait just sit down.”

“BROCK,” you ignored him and got up, shouting at the door that you entered in about, hmm, yep, 5 years ago.

“Y/N,” he seemed like he wanted to talk when you really, truly did not.

“BROCK BOESER OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT FUCKING NOW,” you continued shouting at that damned door.

“Y/N...please,” he sounded sweet and calm. Which kinda calmed you down slightly, so once you realized Brock wasn't going to open that door any time soon, you sat back down on the couch next to where Petey was sitting. You sat a little too close at first, both of you looking into each other's eyes. Your faces were roughly a foot away from each other, as you looked in his eyes, you thought you saw a glimmer of something, something you knew he was seeing in your eyes. You snapped yourself out of it and pulled away, scooching yourself back about a foot. Right then, Elias reached for you and placed his hand on your arm. “Y/N, just...sorry. I was just going to ask what Quinn meant that day when he said ‘you really have a thing for swedes, huh,’” he tried to mimic your other American friend, his impression made you laugh.

You groaned and put your forehead on his shoulder. You stayed like that for a second, taking in his scent. Then you pulled your head back and started to speak, “Yeah, about that. Um, so, yeah, that-that thing, uh,” you cleared your throat.

“Are you going to say anything or is it just ‘um, yeah, so, um?’”

“Shut up” you giggled “I just never thought I’d have to say this to you,” you covered your heated face with your hands.

“Well, I always thought he was talking about Marky, but apparently thats not true. I just didn’t know you knew many other swedes.”

“...yo-,” you sighed. He didn’t realize what Quinn was saying, “oh my god, my dumbass brother is rubbing off on you. Ok, name the other swedes I know.”

“Well there's Marky, Oscar, Loui, Alex, and uh, Brock said you knew uh, Partick Nemeth and Johnny Oduya when you interned in Dallas during college. Oh, and Brock had mentioned you had a crush on Klingberg at one point, right?”

“Yes, but, uh- oh my lord,” you took a deep breath and tried to make sure you didn’t blurt anything out like an idiot would do, “I think you’re missing one.”

“What? Well, Nilsson before he got traded. And Brock was here when the twins were still playing, right?”

“Ok, Elias, you’re missing one person, one fucking person,” you were starting to get frustrated.

“I dont think I understand…”

“Ok, if you were to make it on team Sweden for the winter Olympics, Marky, and Landeskog too, ok?”

“Yeah?”

“Ok, who on that team would know me?”

“Well considering I dont know who else would be on that team it’s hard to say, but me, mark and Gabe would.”

“Ok, perfect. So that list of Swedes earlier was missing…” you gestured for him to finish your sentence.

“Oh, I’m stupid, I forgot myself,” you nodded and waited for him to process, it took longer than one would’ve thought but that's beside the point. His eyes got wide and his face turned red. He didn’t speak, you knew he knew now, but he wasn’t saying anything.

Shit, fuck, it’s exactly what you were afraid of.

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK??? How did this happen, Elias is so completely and utterly stunned. Y/N Y/M/N Boeser had an actual, real-life crush on him? (God he feels like he’s in middle school again, freaking out about a “crush”)Ok, he’s definitely dreaming, that's the only thing he can think right now because he didn’t think this was a possibility. That’s when he realized, he hadn’t said anything yet, he’d just been staring at her with what he could only assume was an idiotic expression. He took in her expression, she was staring at her lap, her eyes wide, she looked tense, like she needed a hug.

Elias grabbed her and pulled her into his body, she tightened her arms around his waist and tucked her head into his neck. He could feel her heart racing, or was that his? He squeezed her tighter, trying to stall the inevitable. What was he supposed to say? “Yeah, Y/N I’ve had a massive crush on you, even before I met you in person. I’m pretty sure I might just be in love with you, sorry I never said anything. Oh, also, I can’t be with you because your brother and all of our friends would murder me.” Elias knew he wasn’t the smartest, but he wasn’t that much of an idiot.

Just then Y/N pulled back from the hug, looking much happier than before, her eyes met him and they both smiled fondly, just then Elias realized just how close their faces were. Shit, he really wanted to, he could feel her breath and his eyes flickered down to her lips. He unknowingly swiped his tongue over his, and she did the same and bit her lip ever so slightly. His heart was racing, she must be able to hear it. He leans in the slightest bit, to test the waters. To his surprise, she leans in the rest of the way and their lips finally connect.

It’s even more amazing than he ever would have imagined. Every nerve in his body is firing. He grabs her neck and they move together, in unison, and it's almost as if they’ve done this a thousand times before. It feels so easy, so natural, so perfect. He is by every definition, elated. He truly can’t believe this is happening. As he comes back to reality, he feels her hands siding up to his chest, she groans slightly as her hands settle on his shoulders. He slides his tongue across her lips and he can feel her shiver in reaction. They break apart for the first time, both panting into each other’s space, Elias is smiling bigger than he ever has. Their dilated eyes meet, he’s sure she’s probably noticed his flushed skin, his more-than-pale complexion doing no favors to hide it. Elias looks down and notices her smiling. Thank God.

She pulls back suddenly and speaks, “uh, sorry I just- um, I know you didn’t want that.” she stands up, “I-um- I’ll just-”

He touches her arm, making sure not to grab it. He doesn’t want to be controlling. “Hey, who said anything about me not wanting that” he was still smiling and looking up at her fondly, “trust me Y/N, I wanted that. I’ve wanted that for a lot longer than what you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have supposed that I may also have a “crush” on you too.”

“Fredrik? Are you going soft on me?” she teased.

“Ok, one: what is with you and my middle name, and two: I don't know if ‘soft’ is ever a word I would use to describe how I feel about you” he smirks, trying to mess with her. Which works as her expression clearly shows, her eyes widen and she looks away from him.

“Elias shut up, you’re such a douche,” though she’s grinning a little.

“Um, I don't know if you know what douche is, but if you want help, if you opened a dictionary, I’m pretty sure it would have a picture of Thatcher Demko, and Troy Stecher,” she laughs, there it is: that damn laugh. “You have the best laugh,” he says while giggling himself.

She smiles and looks into his eyes, purely beautiful as always. “Ok, well I will have you know, I like to call this a cackle” She eventually sits down next to him on the couch again, they’re facing each other, fully enthralled in each other’s presence. “Uh, so I’m not one to say these things, I have actually built up a reputation to explicitly avoid these conversations, but” she starts, “but- uh- what does all of this mean exactly? I like you, you like me, we kissed, I mean there’s obviously something here and I just- I guess, I’m not opposed to seeing where this could go, but you know, you could feel differently and that's ok-”

“Woah” he cuts her off as he’s laughing, “You’re rambling nervously, which is making me even more nervous than I already was, ok?” he placed his hand on her shoulder, “but I do have to tell you something,” this is where Elias took a pause and thought about what he should say, which he now realizes is a mistake due to how long it takes him to make decisions. But anyway, he had to decide if to tell you the entirety of the story, or to keep it brief and hope it comes up later at some point.

“Elias”

“Ah, yes.” he emerges from his thoughts, “so first I want to say that I also would love to see where this can go. I likes you-uh- more than a lot. But, I really have to figure something out before I can even think about doing anything with you, I just don't want to screw it up.”

“More than a lot, huh Fredrik?” you think about what he said. The fact that he felt the need to preface what he said with the fact that he also likes you and also wants to see where this can go, truly made you feel better. It felt like he wanted to make sure you didn’t misunderstand him, and that he didn’t want to hurt you. And obviously, you couldn’t let him get away with saying something like “I likes you- uh- more than a lot,” you did grow up hanging out with basically a shit ton of hockey guys, so you couldn't just let that slide. Plus, it was so cute how he said ‘likes’, instead of like, due to his language barrier.

“Yes, Y/N, more than a lot.” he rolled his eyes, “but is that ok with you, that I have to wait?”

“Yeah, that's fine. I mean as long as it’s not like a year, then that's fine,” you say, giggling.

“Oh god no, geez, not that long I promise. Maybe a month at most, I promise,” you both sit and laugh for a minute. You truly didn’t think he liked you, even as a friend, let alone as more than.

“You’re not going to go back to ignoring me, are you?”

“No, we can be friends until I figure that out. And I assume the reason we’re in here is that Brock thought I didn’t likes you. I mean he had mentioned it to me a few times but I obviously didn’t tell him why so,” he looked nervous, but you could see him try thinking of a way to change that. “ but hey, since we’re going to be friends now, your idiot brother will be pleased, and maybe he won’t lock us in a room again,” That makes you chuckle. You noticed that when you laughed, you could see Elias’s face light up, just a little bit, “I mean, not that it went horribly this time” and of course that made you laugh harder, which made him smile bigger. Then his face shifted a little bit, he looked more serious, “But hey, speaking of Brock, could you maybe not tell him, what we talked about in here?”

“Well, no shit. I wouldn’t tell him about this kind of thing on any day of the week anyways. He gets so nosey,” he looked relieved and smiled.

“Ok, so seeing as how we probably have some time to kill…” he grabbed a remote off of the table next to the couch and pressed a button. Then from the seemingly inconspicuous piece of furniture, a tv rose.

Your face was shocked, “I’m sorry, has it always done that??” you say, confused.

“Yeah. Y/N, you work here, how did you not know that?”

“Well I had seen a TV in here before but I thought they like took it away or needed to fix it or something, I didn’t know we had a magic tv in here!!” Elias laughed. “Wait, you waited till now to turn on the TV. we could have been watching TV this whole time!?”

“Yeah but then you wouldn’t have condensed your feelings for me.”

“Um, it was a mutual confession, jackass.”

Elias was smiling at your sass, “so what do you want to watch?”

“I know exactly what to watch,” you grab the remote from his hand and navigate to iCarly on the TV.

“Perfect,'' he says with a fond smile, and you both relax on the couch and watch the old nickelodeon classic. At this point, you both are sitting far enough apart so you look more like friends, just to make sure that if someone comes in, they cant think otherwise.

You watch 2 episodes and you are in the middle of the third when brock comes in. you both are laughing at spencer trying to tell everyone that a 13-year-old boy, Chuck, is torturing him, when you are both startled, “well you two seem to be having fun.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Brock,” Elias mutters, obviously scared from the sudden arrival of the jack-ass that you are forced to love and call your brother.

“Well if it isn't the champion of ass-facery, congratulations on the medal bro.”

“Ok, before you yell at me and hit me and tell on me to mom, it looks like it worked,” he says, gesturing to the two of you on the couch.

“Yes, it worked, he no longer hates me, blah blah blah.”

“Hey, I never hated you.”

“Suuuuuure,” you say, and you give him a wink only he can see, “well, either way-”

“Also,” Brock interrupts, “you technically did it to me first.”

“In fucking high school.”

“Y/N/N, high school was only 5 years ago. And technically should have been like 3 years ago for you but you went and graduated early so checkmate.”

“I think he’s got you there,” Elias spoke up.

“Wow, thanks ‘new friend,’” you said sarcastically, feeling teamed upon.

“You have no idea how happy it makes me that you two are friends now” Brock was smiling like an idiot at this point.

“Ok, well as much as I'd love to stay, I have to go and meet Hog, he doesn’t like to go to the store alone.”

“Aww, poor, sweet baby,” you said with a frown, "Tell him I say hi.”

“Will do!”

“Bye Petey.”

“Bye champion of ass-facery,” Elias shouts back

You laughed at that as Elias exited the room, leaving just you and your brother there.

“So are you really mad at me Y/N/N?”

You sigh “no, I guess not. I’m just glad he doesn’t hate me like I thought. And also he’s absolutely hilarious.”

“Right!! He’s so funny, and I just wanted you guys to get along. You’re basically the two most important people in my life and I didn’t want you two to be like you were forever. And if you didn’t notice, you two are so similar!”

“Aww Mr sensitive, you’re so sweeeeeet.”

“You’re such an ass,” he said chuckling.

You pull out your phone and check the time, “well, it’s time for me to depart. I do have a job and all.”

“Wait, that reminds me, why didn’t either of you use your phones and call someone?” he asked, “that was essentially the only flaw in my plan.”

Thought for a second, “shit. I mean we basically talked the whole time I guess neither of us thought to do that.” Brock smiled at you and giggled a little. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just a little sweet, I guess.”

“Shut up ass-munch,” you shove him as you walk out of the door with a small smile on your face. These past 2-3 hours went much better than you would have thought, and now you have a new friend. And maybe at some point, a little more than that.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ———————— >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

taglist: @habsfan @suffering-canucks-fan @calgarycanuck @suffering-canucks-fan @2manytabsopen @callllumhood @mellany1997 @all-time-fanatic @Fitnessfreak498 @peachyotps @teamcanadasimp @iwantahockeyhimbo @aeyyy-ohhhh @nhlindblom @teenagekook @hockeymockeryandlove

Sorry ☹️ these Won’t tag: @lmao-i-only-know-hockey @predshockeyfan @dolphinahabsfan @starswinheunderwoo @yourlocalgranolagirl54 @peteysimp

#from a distance: series #give feedback 😁#elias pettersson #hockey #nhl #vancouver canucks #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #elias pettersson imagines #elias pettersson imagine #elias pettersson fic #elias pettersson x reader #vancouver canucks imagines #vancouver canucks fic #vancouver canucks imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagines

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exn0bisstudios · 3 years

Note

hiya! if it isn't spoiler-y or you won't be making a separate post for it, could you tell us a bit about the work hunters and seers do? does being a member of the order as a hunter always guarantee that you'll have a seer for a partner, or do they have different kinds of work that don't require a partner, or maybe require a bigger group to work with?

I will be making a post about it. After that, you'll obviously get a more in-depth look during the game itself. Still, since I have some other things lined up first, I would be happy to give some cursory notes here in this ask!

Please be aware that this info might seem a bit jumbled since I'm just tossing out notes (also I’m running on two hours of sleep lmao). This also got really long, so I apologize for that! As I said, I'll eventually get a much more organized & concise post up for you guys!

About Seers of The Twilight Order

What is a Seer?

Seers are magically gifted individuals of strong mentality who have been soul-bound to a Nightmare, which allows them to use Void magic. Said magic is the only thing that can actually destroy a Nightmare - yes, they can be hurt by weapons. Still, they'll eventually reform from the damage unless a Seer comes along and wipes them out. Since the Void is essentially power in its most raw form, it is not meant to be used by mortals. So, the Order devised the binding to allow an adept enough mage to use a Nightmare as a proxy. It's a messy necessity since, without Seers, Yereth-Shai would have fallen to the Nightmares a long, long time ago.

Unfortunately, this proxy system is hugely flawed. Nightmares, by their very nature, are corrupted, as is the Void. The forcible melding of a mortal soul to this corrupted being will eventually erode the mortal, no matter how mentally resilient they are. The more they use the Void magic, the faster that corruption sets in. Not to mention that the binding ritual itself can be deadly outright.

In short, becoming a Seer is a death sentence. Most last for around 5 years before corruption kills them. Unfortunately, it's also common for Seers to go insane, either from corruption or just from having a primordial creature that hates them living in their head. The Order has a care facility set up for any non-violent Seers who have lost their minds, where they can live out what's left of their lives in peace and safety. Sadly most that go nuts are also violent, though, and are mercy-killed by The Order before they can cause civilian casualties.

If you're asking, "why would anyone want to be a Seer" the answer is, again, purely because it's necessary for the survival of mortal-kind. Many people who volunteer to become a Seer do so because they see it as a way to atone for past sins. Some do so to be a hero, however short-lived it might be. Some just see it as a civic duty. Regardless of why the Order won't turn away volunteers.

Who can become a Seer?

The only actual requirements are that the candidate must be willing, mentally resilient, and magically capable. Of course, it's always preferable for a candidate to be young and healthy. Such individuals typically prove more resilient to both the required training and the ritual itself. However, so long as they meet the core necessities and make it through Seer training, the Order won't turn anyone away.

A candidate will go through 5 to 8 years of relentless training to prepare for the binding ritual. The training is brutal and has been deadly but is necessary if the candidate hopes to survive the binding. In addition to physical and mental exercise, a Seer candidate is trained in advanced magic techniques. A particular focus on personal control is crucial, considering the Order has no desire to give someone prone to violence access to raw power.

What can a Seer do?

In addition to their ability to wield Void magic as a weapon, they can manipulate it in other ways that benefit the general public. Destroying Nightmares is always a Seers primary duty. Still, they are also often called in to clear an area of Void corruption. A little-understood phenomenon, Void corruption tends to occur in populated areas and acts as a beacon for Nightmares. A Seer can absorb and neutralize the corruption at their own expense. They can also 'see' Void energy, appearing as a kind of smokey aura, which helps them find problem areas or address concerns of corruption/possession.

Some Seer facts

The tell-tale sign of a Seer is the solid black sclera, resulting from their tie to a Nightmare. Black stripes/spots in the sclera are typical in corruption or possession cases, but only Seers have solid black.

Even though many Seers were previously criminals, they are almost always received with respect. Regardless of their past deeds, people recognize the altruistic sacrifice they've made by becoming a Seer and honor them for that. On the flip side, most Seers are understandably received with an equal amount of fear.

Seers cannot comprehend or cohesively communicate with their bound Nightmare while awake, getting at most snippets of violent imagery or projected emotions. They are also plagued by violent nightmares when they sleep due to their subconscious trying to process the foreign presence in their mind. The more a Seer's mental barriers deteriorate, the more the Nightmare can torture them inside their own head.

While they are given combat training, Seers are adamantly encouraged to stay out of active combat as much as possible. They are under strict orders to not use their Void magic unless against a Nightmare or Void-related emergency. They are too valuable to risk on the front line, and using their Void powers speeds up their corruption (and thus, demise) too much to just use them recklessly.

Regarding our dear MC...

Take everything you just read about Seers and throw it out the window.

MC is an entirely unique, never-before-seen case. To start, they never underwent a binding ritual. As far as the Order can tell, MC's Nightmare has been there at least in a cursory sense for their whole life because it has chosen to be there. MC's sclera went black when it finally bonded with them (age depends on MC's background but from 8-11 y/o). It was an entirely painless experience for MC.

MC is the only Seer who has been able to actively communicate with their Nightmare in any capacity. The fact their Nightmare introduced itself and keeps a running commentary on what MC is up to during their waking hours is seemingly inexplicable. MC doesn't suffer any nightmares due to The One's presence, either, and is instead able to interact with a dream manifestation of them.

The MC shows no signs of possession and seems to suffer no ill side effects from the One's presence or from using Void magic. They are also the most potent Void magic user the Order has ever had. This penalty-free relationship has allowed them to be the only Seer to hold the position for more than 8 years.

The general public is not aware of pretty much any of this, however. The official story is intentionally vague, saying that the MC is a prodigy and ends the conversation there. They're somewhere between a myth and a legend to the general public, and the majority would not recognize them in person. The MC is under strict orders not to reveal the truth of their situation unless they deem it absolutely necessary. This is mainly for their own safety. After all, just because the Order trusts them doesn't mean the rest of the world will.

In short, the MC is very special. You'll have to play the game to find out why.

About Hunters of The Twilight Order

What is a Hunter?

A Hunter is a specialized member of the Order's main military force, highly trained in martial and magical combat and tactics. Their primary function is to suppress Nightmare and Void-related violence to allow for a Seer to safely end the engagement, as well as to serve as a Seer's protector and right hand.

They put themselves in danger so that a Seer doesn't have to. However, they are not seen as expendable or as shock troops. Instead, they are provided years of highly specialized, rigorous training to ensure they survive the impossible odds they're frequently up against. As a result, hunters are, without exception, the most effective and impressive fighting force on Yereth-Shai.

Who can become a Hunter?

Anyone, so long as they are willing and survive the training. Hunter backgrounds are incredibly varied, from noble to urchin, but all of them give up their old lives for the sake of the Order. Most candidates are given over to the Order young and spend near their entire lives as members of the Twilight family.

It should be noted that orphans make up the largest demographic, as the Order provides food, lodging, education, and eventually a salary for life. For a child with nothing, it's often the most stable option they have.

What can a Hunter do?

In addition to killing virtually anything with appropriately nightmarish skill, Hunters are known for being brilliant - if unconventional - tacticians and skilled generals. Many a monarch has tried to buy themself a Hunter with a laughable pittance of a success rate.

Hunters are also gifted with a unique soul-bound weapon upon graduation. While these weapons are not strictly sentient, they have a sort of will of their own and are inextricably part of their owner. This bond gives a magical boost to the Hunter's natural prowess, in addition to acting as a powerful channel for their own magic. Soul-bound weapons cannot be used to harm their master. In fact, most cannot even be touched without their master's permission, causing grave injury to the individual attempting. These weapons cannot be broken and, if lost, will find their way back to their master. A Hunter also takes their weapon to their grave, as it will decay upon its master's death.

The forges of Twilight Order are the only place to create these weapons, and the technique has never been shared outside of Order smiths and enchanters.

Some Hunter facts

Hunters almost always outlive Seers simply because, as dangerous as their job is, their powers aren't slowly killing them. As such, there are a lot more Hunters in the Order than there are Seers.

The mass majority of Hunters will never be paired with a Seer. Bodyguard duty is reserved for the elite. The Order takes excellent care in choosing these pairs, and transfers to a different partner are rare. Once a Hunter is assigned to a Seer, they are expected to stay together until one of them dies.

Most Hunter-Seer pairings develop an unshakable bond, so much so that Hunters that lose their Seer struggle to function as well with a new partner. As such, a Hunter who has lost their Seer will return to regular troop duties, often as an officer. Their career as bodyguard is over.

That said, if a Seer needs to be neutralized, it is traditionally their paired Hunter's job to strike the killing blow. While being a Hunter is usually a lifetime career, those who have had to kill their Seer can retire from service. The Order is not unsympathetic to their trauma.

Regarding our dear Mira...

Mira is unique in their own way, though not to the same extent that the MC is.

In Mira's case, they genuinely are a prodigy. They've been with the Order since they were a child and took to the training like a fish to water. Their proficiency is precisely why they were paired with MC - who better to protect the Order's most precious Seer than their most skilled Hunter?

Mira is also special in that they have four soul-bound weapons. No touchy.

About The Twilight Order

The Twilight Order is a neutral faction that pays no homage to any nation but demands fealty from them all. It was formed for the sole purpose of defeating the Nightmare threat, and they have stayed true to that through the decades. Members of the Order are strictly forbidden from meddling with politics unless it furthers their mission. The faction itself takes no interest in the rise and fall of kingdoms outside of keeping their funding secure.

The Order is given a begrudging kind of respect on the global politics scale. Many people view the Order with suspicion, especially considering the number of secrets they keep and how they pointedly disregard whatever laws suit them. However, no one dares rise against them - not just because the Hunter army could decimate a country, but because they're the only ones who can tame the Void.

Though thankfully most governments are content to leave the Order alone, it is a delicate diplomatic balance, so long as they stay out of the political sphere.

Some relevant facts about the Order

Once you are initiated into the Order, you leave your old life behind. Each member takes on the surname 'Twilight' and is encouraged to completely sever ties to their old life. This rule is less strictly enforced with members who have been with the Order for a while. It's common for commanding officers to look the other way if their subordinates exchange letters with their original families. So long as the individual isn't compromised by these engagements, it's quietly allowed to happen.

The Order takes a similarly vague approach to romantic relationships involving its members. Physical relations & romance are not forbidden, nor is marriage or attempting to start a family. However, if such a relationship compromises the participants, it will be condemned, and those involved are punished. Duty above all, for the sake of all. No exceptions.

#THIS IS REALLY LONG #i'm basically edging on incoherent at this point in the day so hopefully this made sense #i was typing whole wrong words towards the end of it :')#Anonymous #answered #TTO: Main Tag #TTO: Lore #TTO: Answers #Mira Twilight

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hopelesshawks · 3 years

Text

Physical Fatality Part 12- Grief

18+ Hawks x fem, pro hero!reader

Summary: You’re a rising star in All Might’s agency. Hawks is the darling of Endeavor’s. By virtue of your job descriptions, the two of you are supposed to hate each other, or at the very least be cautiously neutral. For a long time that’s exactly what the two of you did. You stayed out of each other’s way and formed little opinion of the other. One fateful night at an HPSC gala changes all that. Based on the album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom by Halsey.

If you don’t want to see Physical Fatality content blacklist #hopelesspf

This story will have multiple NSFW parts so it is 18+ ONLY minors dni

Masterlist Ko-fi

Over the course of your relationship Hawks has seen you pissed off quite a bit. He’s seen you mildly annoyed, he’s seen you decently irritated, and he’s seen you practically rabid with rage. He is intimately familiar with the spectrum of your anger.

And yet all of those times combined cannot compare to the level of rage he sees in you now.

Red Riot, who Hawks now realizes must have arrived with you, rushes to Bakugo’s side to check on him. Only once you’re positive Hawks and Bakugo won’t lunge at each other again do you unceremoniously drop Hawks to the ground. “What the fuck is your problem?” you demand as you storm over to him. “Look I’m sorry but-“ he starts but you don’t let him finish. “There shouldn’t be a ‘but’ in that sentence Hawks why the fuck are you fighting Bakugo of all people? You could’ve killed him!” “Technically he could’ve killed me too, let’s not make him sound helpless.” “That is NOT the point Hawks.” “Right yea no, of course it isn’t. Look I’m sorry things got out of hand but-” “Out of hand? OUT OF HAND? Your lack of self awareness is genuinely fucking phenomenal my GOD.” “Christ will you fucking listen to me instead of cutting me off every fucking time I try to speak?” “You don’t get to make demands right now! You know all this shit reflects back on me!” “Right your precious fucking reputation.” “Yes! My job relies on it remember!” “Could you forget about All Might and the press and whatever else for one goddamn minute? Our relationship is fucking drowning in it!” “What fucking relationship? I don’t even know what the fuck this is anymore.” “What are you on about now?” “We’re not lovers Hawks! We’re just strangers with the same damn hunger to be touched, to be loved, to feel anything at all and it’s gotten genuinely pathetic now.” “Pathetic?” “Yes pathetic! Because clearly we aren’t supposed to be together!” “Says who?” “Look around you Hawks! Apparently fucking everyone and everything!”

Your words seem to echo around the two of you, both of your chests heaving in the wake of the argument. Both of you had forgotten yourselves for a moment and as awareness creeps back in you suddenly can feel the eyes of every reporter and civilian in the area boring into you. “What are you saying (y/n)?” Hawks asks and his voice is heartbreakingly quiet, hands clenched into fists. “I’m saying this is done,” you reply. “Don’t do this, please, I love you and-“ “No you don’t Hawks. You might think you do but you don’t. We love love and the idea of it and for fleeting moments between the arguments and the press and our bosses and everything else we thought we had it but we don’t. Or at least it’s not strong enough to out weigh everything else. I’m sorry,” you sigh before turning away. Cameras flash and reporters shout questions but you ignore them all as you walk over to where Kirishima is helping Bakugo up off the ground. “(Y/n)-“ Bakugo starts to say but you cut him off. “Don’t. I’ll deal with you after we get you patched up,” you tell him before you and Kirishima start walking him back to your agency.

Hawks stares after you, feeling frozen in place as you leave him behind and take his shattered heart with you. “Told you so,” Monoma suddenly taunts from beside him. Hawks jumps, having not noticed when Monoma had come down from the building’s rooftop. Hawks whirls around to face him, grabbing hold of the collar of his shirt. “Ah, ah, ah, don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?” Monoma asks cheekily, jerking his head towards the still flashing cameras. Hawks’ grip tightens momentarily before releasing the other man. Unfortunately Monoma has a point and Hawks really isn’t eager to make things even harder for you. “Don’t worry bird boy, I’ll invite you to our wedding,” Monoma tells the other man before flouncing away, pleased with himself. Hawks tells himself the best he can do now is wait for you to calm down and talk to you then so without another word and before he can do anything else to worsen the situation, he takes off back to Endeavor’s agency and hopes the others from the task force will have good news to share.

The first words he hears when he walks into the meeting room on the top floor are “You’re a fucking idiot” from none other than Shoto Todoroki himself. “I really don’t want to talk about it,” Hawks sighs. “You’re the only one. Pretty much every gossip blog and news outlet ever is talking about it,” Tokoyami tells him. “Headlines are all about how (y/n) is rubbing off on you in the worst possible ways and speculating about your break up,” Midoriya adds in, an unspoken accusation buried beneath his faux neutral tone. “We didn’t break up, she’s just upset,” Hawks denies, desperate to be right. “Really? Looked like a break up to me and the thousands of people who’ve already read the articles and the few dozen people that watched this whole train wreck you started,” Shoto quips. “Can we please just focus on the mission? Please tell me you got good intel,” Hawks sighs. “Since some of us are capable of doing our job, yes. Luckily for you the terror group is in the building we were watching and since you and Kacchan drew so much attention to the other building they think we’re way off base in our search for them. We should be able to make a move by this weekend,” Midoriya informs him. “Great. What now?” Hawks replies. “Now we wait to move out and I go back to my agency to reassure my probably panicked best friend,” Midoriya bites out before handing the last of his operation notes to Shoto and storming out.

“Jesus, I thought Deku was a puppy,” Hawks remarks as the door slams closed. “Midoriya’s always been scary when he wants to be, he’s just also very genuinely kind,” Tokoyami shrugs. “Which is exactly why being on his bad side is a nightmare,” Shoto points out. “Thanks Shoto. Really making me feel better.” “I wasn’t trying to make you feel better. In fact you should feel bad.” “I’m gonna call her,” Hawks sighs as he pulls out his phone to dial your number. The first call rings for awhile before going to voicemail. So does the second. The third is sent straight to voicemail. The fourth doesn’t even go through as he’s promptly alerted his number has been blocked. Hawks swears and tosses his phone onto the table in frustration. “I must have really crossed the line,” he sighs. “You think?” Shoto asks with a raised eyebrow.

“For the record I threw the first punch,” Bakugo admits somewhat sheepishly as you dab at one of several cuts he sustained during the fight. “Unprovoked?” “Obviously not.” “Then it doesn’t change anything. And you’re not off the hook either, what the fuck were you thinking?” you question as you start bandaging him up. “I don’t know, Monoma was being a little shit which got Hawks all worked up and then I tried to get him to back down and we both got worked up and well... you know how that went,” he admits. He watches as your phone lights up again with Hawks’ contact info. You grab it, sending him to voicemail again before blocking his number and putting your phone back down. “Are you sure about breaking up with him?” Bakugo asks and you can tell by how uncharacteristically gentle his voice is that he’s concerned. “I.... don’t know. In a perfect world I’d love to take the time to unpack all of this bullshit and work it out with him. I already know I’ll miss him. I’ll miss the mornings with him laying in my bed and the thought of a forever him and me but I bet all he’ll miss is my body,” you confess. “Don’t you think you’re not giving him enough credit?” “Probably. But I can’t sit at home and be his housewife which means I have to focus on salvaging my career. I’m lucky All Might is out of the office, gives me time to try and think up a sales pitch.” “You’re a good hero (y/n). All Might knows that.” “He also knows he gave me an ultimatum,” you point out. You finish off bandaging Bakugo up and he looks as if he’s about to say something else but you resume talking before he can. “I’m going to head home and lie low. Hopefully I’ll still be employed next time you see me,” you sigh before giving Bakugo’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze and walking out.

The video of you and Hawks’ break up is already viral by the time you get back to your apartment.

You walk straight past the living room, completely ignoring your concerned roommates, and head right into your room. Your phone alerts you to several no doubt concerned texts from Midoriya but you ignore them all as you collapse onto your bed. You lie there for awhile, letting your phone ping almost incessantly with concern from your friends and all the news alerts mentioning your name. When your ringtone cuts through all the other alerts you almost ignore it, assuming it’s Midoriya calling to check on you. Your heart sinks when All Might’s name flashes on the screen instead. You take a deep breath, stubbornly ignoring the way it rattles in your chest, and then answer the phone. “(Y/n)....” All Might starts. “I know,” you answer. “We had a deal.” “I’m a good hero. You know I am.” “I know you are. But we had a deal. I’m sorry.”

Numb.

Achingly,

Heart wrenchingly,

World endingly,

Numb.

That’s how you feel as you listen to All Might continue to justify his decision without actually hearing a word he’s saying. You vaguely register apologies and talk of the agency’s reputation, but for the most part you’re too busy feeling your entire universe crashing down around you to pay much attention to his words. You don’t know how long it’s been when you finally register that he’s been calling your name. “(Y/n)! Are you alright?” All Might presses. You don’t answer. You hang up your phone, face still blank, as Denki and Mina appear in your doorway. They both look you over for a long moment before wordlessly climbing onto your bed to join you. They cuddle up on either side of you and only once you’re safely wrapped up in their arms do you finally allow yourself to break. You mourn the career you worked so hard for as sobs wrack through your body. Your chest and ribs burn with the force of it but the feeling is nothing compared to the bitter grief of losing your job. As your friends hold you, you utter only one heartbreaking phrase between sobs:

“What am I if not a hero?”

Author’s Note: 🥲 we’re getting close to the end game now everyone, and boy oh boy does it hurt

Taglist [open]: @akkaso @cathy8taffy @eeppff @iikillerkitteh @pixelwisp @pokesosa @lildockel @bread0nhead @lavender-moon13

#hopelesspf #hawks #wing hero hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n

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magicalgirlsandcerulean · 3 years

Text

Episode 9's blog post (Spoilers under the cut!)

This post by Balletta is dated 8th June 2021. It apparently took him 8 hours to write...which is why I took so long putting this post out. (I had to skip a lot of the descriptive stuff and it still took me over 4 hours to do this post...)

There are also some tweets from Hishida below, including one regarding ep. 10. If you don't want any info about ep. 10 until you get to it, skip reading tweet 2.

Due to the nature of the ep., there is a mention of suicide below.

Hishida's tweet 1:

そういえばF蘭９話でゲスな男の久ニさん役で鳥海浩輔さんが出演してくれました。僕にとっては初監督作の陰陽大戦記でタイザン役を演じてくれたとても恩のある方です。ありがとうございました。そして明日放送の１０話でも非常にお世話になった方が登場します。これも逃れられない縁なのでしょうか！？

Now that you mention it, F-Ran episode 9's male sleazebag Kyuji was voiced by Kosuke Toriumi. For me, he had the role of Daizan in my first directorial work, Onmyou Taisenki, so I have a big obligation towards him. Thanks a lot. Also, episode 10, which is airing tomorrow, has a person who's taken extreme care of me. Is this an inescapable fate?!

(Who is this he's talking about? Read on.)

Hishida's tweet 2:

まさか福山潤くんに会えるとはね。りっくん、生まれ変わってギャンブラーになってました…w #フィクションです

Unexpectedly, I was able to meet Jun Fukuyama, huh? Rikkun was reborn as a gambler...LOL #ThisIsFiction

"Rikkun" = Riku Tachibana, protagonist of Onmyou Taisenki.

Hishida's tweet 3:

美梨香ちゃん、プリチャンのルルナ…。僕はキャスティングには関わっていません。

Birika-chan is Pri-chan's Luluna...My casting has not changed.

Pri-chan = Kiratto Pri-chan. Luluna and Birika share the VA Hibiku Yamamura.

On to the post (note Balletta goes backwards and forwards in time a lot in this post, so with that on top of my omissions, it's a bit hard to keep track of):

Post's name: "The Perverted and Slightly Sad Episode 9". (You know why it's perverted, but the "slightly sad" will be revealed later on. Balletta specifically uses a word for "slightly sad" used by teenage girls, ぱおん.)

Balletta starts by giving various greetings (this matches last time's), asks if everyone enjoyed Fairy Ranmaru ep. 9. It's Uruu's second turn, so he's going to give real-time thoughts and comments on the ep.

The ep starts with Uruu painting "blue roses" (according to Balletta). "収録の時に、第3話の時みたいにうるうくんの英語から始まったらどうしよう…と台本貰うまでドキドキしてたのはここだけの秘密です…" - "It's a secret between us that when we were recording, I was nervous until I got the script, wondering what would happen if we started with Uruu-kun's English like in episode 3..."

Balletta goes on to discuss how people call Uruu "Blue Rose" (from Tiger and Bunny). People have been making this connection ever since the key visual (the one with the fairy forms) dropped. Even now, when watching the anime on Nico Nico Douga, he'll think: "Hi, Blue Rose's older brother!").

He skips to Uruu's mother's suicide scene. Her wings are broken like glass and Balletta thinks this is when Uruu's heart was broken too. This is also where he thinks Uruu's ideal of "always be proper" was born.

The blushing Homura, being healed by Bakkun and reading an article on Shiina's manga, is "transcendently cute".

It's at this point where Balletta starts introducing quotes from the discussion with "ワン！トゥー！！スリー！！！" ("One! Two!! Three!!!") (<- For the curious, there are 6 of these in the post, but they're not entirely the same.)

Balletta wonders in small text if there was tongue or not during the CPR scene...

"この時のうるうくんの表情が完全に悪役の悪い顔になってて、正直自分もアニメ見てて「うるうくん！顔わるいなぁー！！」ってなりましたね！" - "That time Uruu's face looked like a villain's, and straight up I also saw in the anime, 'Uruu-kun! You're making a bad face-!!'"

Balletta is relieved Homura has been revived.

The sloth's lump is moving...

Balletta introduces Birika and the plot of the week. "不倫！ダメ！！ゼッタイ！！！" - "Adultery! Don't do it!! Absolutely don't!!!" (he repeats this through the post and counts the times he says it - the editing Chesarka from the future says he ends up with 3 instances of this)

Balletta recaps that Uruu is good at painting, as we know from ep. 1. It seems to be the same painting, but then he puts red paint on top. This made Balle-san think of Homura so much, he couldn't concentrate on the painting. In short, FIRE (insert flame emoji, obviously referencing Homura's shirt).

5 to Heaven synced up on how they thought during recording. When Uruu is talking to Birika and she says "心が清廉だからだよ" ("Because you have an honest heart."), they all thought, "心が清廉、どうも清怜うるうです。" ("You have an honest heart - thank you, Uruu Seiren.") Balletta thinks they increased their bonds as a result. (Note "honest" in this case is "seiren".)

Some descriptive bits later, we get to this sentence: "第1話から今回の第9話までに、うるうくんの心情や見えている世界が大きく変わったことを意味しているのではないかと自分は思いました！" I thought from ep. 1 until ep. 9, the world he is seeing has changed greatly!" A bit further down: "先程も話した、第1話から第9話にかけて、うるくんの心情や見えている世界が大きく変わってきていると言ったもう一つの理由がこの言葉なんです！第1話では世界に対しても常に正しくあるべきと考えていたうるうくんが、第9話に至るまでに色んなことがありました。

過去のトラウマ、火焔族への憎しみ、焔くんに対しての嫉妬。" - "That's another reason why I said earlier the world Uruu-kun sees has changed greatly from ep. 1 to ep. 9! Ep. 1, where Uruu-kun thinks everything should be correct about the world, to the Uruu-kun in ep. 9 who has had various things happen. Past trauma, the hatred of the Ignis clan, the jealousy which he feels towards Homura."

Balletta can't believe how Birika's mother came back and had a kiss mark on her neck. He gets so angered he starts making puns on his own name (bareru means to leak a secret, while barebare means a transparent lie) and ends with "あ、どうもバレッタです。" - more along the lines of "Ah, sorry, I'm Balletta" than the previous "thank you"s - before returning to the previous discussion.

Some more description later, Balletta mentions the appearance of Sirius. "素晴らC！いや！すばらシリウス！！！" - "SubaraC (shii)! No! SubaraSirius!!!" (subarashii = wonderful) He then discusses Sirius's musings.

End A part. Balletta stops for a bit to note "You only noticed all this incredible impressions and comments are [for] the A part? Didn't you see the previous post?" He also comments Hori's post was short and that was fine. "ま、イケメンだからいっか！！！（うるうくん達が）" - "Well, they're handsome, so what?!!! (Uruu-kun and co. are)"

Now to the B part. Balletta notes there's a piece of art that is a pot in the art gallery. Pot quota: check.

Some description (and more yelling about how adultery is bad and unforgivable) later: we get to the kiss scene. This transformation is voiced differently to the one in ep. 3 in terms of the pan upwards part and the sound effect of boots scratching you can hear during the "Taboo rescinded! Love! In abundance!" callout. "自分もリアルタイムで第9話見てて、「あれ！？ボイス変わってるし、音が追加されてる！凄い！！」ってテレビの前でなってました！ありがたい限りです！" - "Even when watching ep. 9 in real-time, I was in front of the TV, going, 'Huh?! The voice changed and a sound was added! Amazing!!' I'm nothing but grateful!"

Hotel Tsubo returns. "なんかもう毎回このアニメをリアルタイムで見るたびに「今回はどこに壺が隠れてるかなぁ〜♪」ってなってる自分がいてビックリしますよ笑" - "Basically every time I watch this anime in real-time, I'll be like, 'Where will they hide the pot this time~?♪', so I'm surprised. LOL"

"そしてそんな「HOTEL壺」では、美梨香さんの母親と久二さんがS○Xしてるシーンが出ましたね。申し訳ないけどもう一回だけ言わせてくださいね…

ふざけんにょ！！！" - "Also, at that Hotel Tsubo, Birika-chan's mother and Kyuji have a scene where they're having s_x. I'm sorry for saying this, but please let me say this once...stop screwing around!!!" (The "screw" pun is intentional on my part.)

Enka scene. Balletta calls Uruu "sexy & beautiful" because of his black lace wings and strong gaze.

Head back to Bar F. "バックンはこのアニメの癒し…

いつもありがとうバックン！" - "Bakkun [being] in this anime is healing...thanks as always, Bakkun!"

Some description later, around the part where Uruu's mother says Uruu is just like his dad...you can see germ-like objects that look like water fleas and Uruu gains some damage from them sticking themselves down his throat. There are various versions of this scene and after all the yelling from recording them, he felt considerably more passionate.

Some more description later, Balletta doubles back to the scene slightly beforehand. where Ranmaru and Chilka are in the same place.

Balletta then continues for a bit about the plot and is at the scene where Kyuji is relieved he's free of the old hag when he goes, "ワン！トゥー！！スリー！！！「エヘッ、ぱおーん！」こんの野郎ーーーー！！！ぱおーんじゃねぇんだよぉー！！！！！ガオーってライオンだらけの檻の中にぶち込むぞぉーーーー！！！となったのはこのブログだけにそっと記しておきますね。" ("One! Two!! Three!!! 'Ehe, that's kinda sad!' These bastards---!!! This isn't 'kinda sad'!!!!! I'll throw you into a cage full of roaring lions----!!!...This blog became a place where I can quietly write this precisely [because I can], huh?")

Balletta discusses the final scene and then draws attention to Takara's scene by going, "「あっちゃー、もう一山残っちまったかぁー」えっ！？何が残ったの！？" - "'The worst is yet to come.' What's coming?!" (<- Translation using the CR line)

He then tells everyone to look forward to next time's Fairy Ranmaru ep., says he's finished, that was ep. 9's comments and impressions, apologises for his long post again and puts some promotional stuff I've already covered on magicalgirlsandcerulean (in order: character song CD, the live show in Sept., Sweets Paradise, Vivid Army, Otasuke Heaven, BD/DVD 1, the curry plate, Bakkun plush, key necklaces, Fairy Ranmaru's official Twitter + YouTube). He then ends by saying he's done (again) and he's Yutaka Balletta, who voices Uruu.

Takara's comment: "原稿用紙40枚やで～気合い入れて読んでや～" - "You took 40 sheets of genkou youshi~. We read it with effort." (referencing the line where he apologises for his long post: "今回また2回目の当番回だったというのもあって気合い入れまくった結果やっぱり長文になってしまいました！ご容赦くださいまし！！" - "This time was the 2nd time I was in charge [of the post], so the result was, of course, me putting in effort! Please forgive me [for my long post]!")

Update: Minor fixes for accuracy and clarity.

#Fairy Ranmaru #Fairy Ranmaru spoilers #Yutaka Balletta #Uruu Seiren #Masakazu Hishida

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letstalkaboutsebbaby · 3 years

Text

Related Activities - Chapter 4

The district has a new attorney and Marshall is going to learn the hard way that he should have acted sooner in pursuing his passion for Caroline.

Pairing: Andy Barber x OFC (Caroline Kline) / Walter Marshall x OFC (Caroline Kline)

Author: Deb @letstalkaboutsebbaby / @letswriteaboutsebbaby

Rating: Mature

Warnings: crime talk, smut (hi @klaine-92 - it's starting!)

Walter Marshal is a man that has little to no time to lose with useless things. His house lack decoration because he sees no need for them. A couple of frames with pictures of his daughter, some cushions that he didn’t know were uncomfortable when he bought them, and a painting in his bedroom. He has few friends - his brother and a couple of guys whom he grew up with - fewer reasons to trust new people, but he trusts Caroline. He likes her, he wants her more than he cares to admit to himself, not really confident in his relationship skills.

One of the things he needs the most is the only thing she can’t ever give him - silence. She’s always with something to talk about, a view over some case, a question about his past experiences, or a song to softly sing when she knows he’s not wanting to talk. Marshall feels like he can listen to her singing the whole discography of the Pretenders before he’ll get enough of her voice.

Waking up early after a hard day, he stays in bed contemplating his next steps to make sure she’ll understand he needs time cause he can’t start a relationship while worrying about the cases they have now. Obviously, they’ll always have to work and it’ll always have a lot of shit to deal with but at the moment it’s too time-consuming and he wants to start a relationship with the possibility to really give her time and attention. Looking at his phone, a text gives him hope that things will go as planned: Only pick me up if you bring hot chocolate with vanilla cream. It’s the closest thing to “I’ll forget you’ve been so dumb” he will get and since his apology hasn’t been so eloquent either, he’s fine with it.

After half an hour and bringing a big cup of her favorite drink, he picks her up at her apartment. From the driver’s window, he can see the pale rose curtain on her room reminding him of how contrastive their houses are; her full of cute decor items, different patterns on the walls, soft rugs, mirrors and candles everywhere. If it wasn’t Carol he would’ve said the person spent a lot of time decorating the place, but somehow it feels effortless for her. It’s like anything he finds difficult is incredibly natural for her.

As she climbs in the car, Marshal smiles at her and she smiles back, quickly reaching for her drink. He stops her hand midways and holds it between his. “Can you at least say good morning?”

“Good morning, big guy. You look better”

“I am. Look, Car...I’m not in the right mind to...to do anything other than find these fuckers. Let’s look forward to that week off, can we?” His big fingers caressing her palms and bringing butterflies to her stomach. As handsome and sweet as Andy is, her attraction to Marshall has been something growing since day one and her heart is more invested than she would like. The way he calls her ‘Car’ only adding to the entire sexiness of him.

“So let’s find these fuckers...Give my hands back, I need to drink and you need to drive.” she teases. “Any new clue?”

“No, some test results will be ready today tough, so I guess we’ll at least have something to go after. Yours?”

“Nothing either, I was just talking to Andy last night and he thinks the same modus operandi was being investigated in Massachusetts. He’ll bring the files today so I can give a look before interviewing the guy again.”

The mention of a night talk with Andy bothers Marshall and he can’t really pay attention to anything Carol says after it and she notices the change in his behavior but decides not to ask the reason.

Shortly after they get to the station, each working on their own cases, Andy gets there for the suspect interview, files ready for her to analyze.

“Hey, that’s for me?” Caroline points with a smile when she sees him.

“I believe it’ll cost you something” he replies, sitting by her desk.

“I’m ready to pay for it. What’s the price?” she plays along.

“Dinner tonight.”

“Done. Pass me the files, Sir.”

The friendly chat is something she really likes about him. A bit of flirting doesn’t hurt, right? Caroline reads the info and adds sticky notes to some of the papers while Andy talks to one of the cops. When the suspect is in the interrogation room, she calls Andy to go along with her.

“You go ahead, I’ll watch by the glass” he responds.

“You don’t want to get in?”

“Go on...I trust you, I’ll be there if you think a different approach it’s required.”

Once she’s there, with a bust in her confidence after Andy’s speech, the suspect is clearly trembling as she makes the questions but answers everything as determined by his lawyer - even though a peeved tone is always present. In the next room, Andy is watching the interrogation when Marshall enters to do the same, just as the suspect changes the subject to the previous encounter with the detectives.

“Were’s your bodyguard, Miss? Not going to intimidate me today?”

“I just need the answers, I don’t think you need to be intimidated in order to give me the truth. You’re smart enough to know there’s only one way not to be sentenced to death in a case like this and it starts with giving me information” she states.

“Are you fucking him?” the suspect challenges as his lawyer tries to make him behave. “You look like a good fuck”

The suspect enrages Marshall and he’s ready to go inside and put him in his place, but Andy stops him with a hand in his arm.

“You can’t really blame him” Andy calmly says.

“What the fuck do you mean?” Marshall verbalizes with no calm at all.

“The way you act...he knows you’re here and all he wants is for you to enter that room and give his lawyer a reason to ask for a transference.” He asserts the situation, stopping Marshall from ruining Caroline’s work.

“I better go” The detective mutter.

“Don’t worry, I got her” Andy claims, much to Marshall’s displeasure.

When the interrogation ends Caroline meets Andy to deliberate for some time. Eventually, he went back to his office, promising to pick her up at the end of the day, both concentrating on work before the time for a new date came around. They decide to have dinner at hers, dismissing the idea of going home to get ready for a formal event - buying some take-out from an Italian place she likes and finding comfort at her floor once again.

“This is delicious” he declares, the pleasure clear on his face.”Can we do this every night? I want to try out all of their dishes.”

“It’s so yummy, right? I can’t have it every night though, I would end up in the worst shape.” Caroline says kiddin’, trying to imagine if he really wants to spend more time with her, and for what reasons.

“I find it very hard to believe you could get into a bad shape, babe, you’re gorgeous.”

A bit abashed by his comment, she smiles shyly and drinks a gulp of wine. “Well, in this case…we can do this sometimes before you get tired.”

“If I get tired we can change to japanese food, or mexican…”

“I was talking about the company”

“No sense. I might get tired of air before this happens.” He smiles and gets closer to her, an arm inviting her to lean on him. “You’re like...you know the feeling when you’re little and you know a Christmas present is waiting for you downstairs?” her head resting on his shoulder turns up to look at him.

“Yeah” she whispers back, looking deeply into his baby blue eyes. “I’m not sure the wrappings would be more interesting than the actual prize…” she tries to jest, but he holds her face, his thumb pressing over her lips. The way he looks at her gives no space for misinterpretations and the butterflies in her belly are very hard to ignore.

“If you agree to a hundred dinners more I can try to find out…” Andy’s low timbre functioning as a poison that keeps her weak - no reason to leave his arms, no desire to be anywhere else but in his presence.

“A hundred?” she softly asks.

“Just to start…” his lips softly touching hers before he kisses her. “You deserve better, you know?” She wasn’t sure what he means...deserve better than what? But his lips are on hers again before she can think further about it, both of them getting lost in sweet and deep kisses. Caroline wasn’t aware of the time, only able to feel Andy and the desire he evokes; not even the fact that they’re now lying on the couch seems to register in her mind, just his scent and the weight of his body over hers. Resting his forehead on hers, Andy whispers in the most enticing way “I’ll be what you need, sweetie. Everything you need.” while his hands expertly unbutton her jeans.

That was a completely different end to her night… she’s spent months dreaming about finishing her day in this same position with Marshall but it didn’t feel wrong to be with Andy - he’s attentive and attractive, very easy on the eyes - anyone would love to have him and she’s not about to lose this guy waiting for someone that never gave her anything more than a promise of a week off together. “We should take this to the bedroom”.

“Shhh...just relax.” He before taking her pants off and lying between her legs, positioning them around his waist; he slowly slides an arm to hold her neck as she stares at his eyes, entranced by how hot he looks at this moment. “Choose me, babe. Just tell me you want me.”

She can feel how hard he is through his pants and nods unconsciously “I want you, Andy.”

He tries hard not to lose control, wanting to watch her surrender, to see her gradually becoming his. “I want you too...so much” he starts moving his hips, rubbing his covered hard-on over her panties, a hand moving to grip her butt, helping her to grind against him “You look so beautiful...take what you need to feel good, babe”.

The friction on her clit driving her wild, making her squirm and cling to him. “Andy, please.”

“You have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now...to take these clothes off and slide into you…” as he declares all he wants to do to her, she keeps grinding and kissing his jaw as if he’s going to disappear. “So fucking cute” Andy sits and brings her body with him, finding the view of her straddling his thighs the most erotic sight ever. He touches her tits through the shirt and holds her as she rides him. Caroline wants him to lose control, but all she accomplishes is to get closer to cumming, so she hugs him and lets herself go listening to his sweet praise of her.

With her body still trembling she opens her eyes to look at his proud face. “Stay.”

“I can’t. I need you to have a good night of sleep and think about what you want...then tomorrow you’ll text me let me know if you want another date.”

“A third date.”

“Yeah”

“I already know the answer”

“I’ll believe you when you’re not looking like you want to fuck so much” he jokes, standing up and putting her on the couch, adjusting his pants as much as possible with his cock still hard.

She stands up and slides her arms around his neck, bringing Andy close to kiss him once more. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

Grabbing her hand, he takes his jacket from the other couch and walks to the door, stopping with a hand in the handle “I’ll be waiting. Have a good night, Car.” he gives her a light peck before leaving her house. She shivers when she hears him calling her ‘Car’ the exact same way Marshall does. She’s so fucked.

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