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melodiouswhite · 4 years

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Live forever - Ch. 01

(A/N: I’ve been obsessed with the historical Dr. Faust lately, so I decided to indulge the urge to create content - I hope you like it. I’ll write about the other members of the alchemist group later on too. ^^)

Johann Georg Faust had been called a lot of things throughout his life.

Charlatan, sorcerer, madman, heretic, liar, necromancer, criminal, hell child, accomplice of the Devil … he had stopped counting all the insults that had been thrown at his ginger-haired head.

Some of them were true, others weren't.

A charlatan? No.

Sure, he was versed in the art of stage magic (and used it more than often), but his magic powers were genuine. They had been since his birth.

Of course he had no idea where they had come from.

He didn't know why he could read minds, foresee the future and perform other things that other people weren't capable of. But it was so, hence he took it and used his abilities to their full potential. This was nothing to dwell on and overthink anyway.

With mixed feelings he stood in front of the grave.

A name and numbers on a tombstone made of the most expensive stone he had been able to afford.

He owed it to her.

Once he had been both grateful and resentful towards her for the drastic things she had done to make sure that he could go to the best schools around.

He had been resentful, because others had called him a bastard and a demon child, had bullied him for always asking questions, had feared him because of his abilities – and for all of this he had blamed her.

He had been grateful, because she had supported him and believed in him through it all, had called him a miracle and a gifted, blessed child, had told him that he was special and meant it.

It was because of her, that he was what he was.

He was a universal genius, a bachelor, physician, philosopher, teacher, alchemist, astrologer, medium … so many things. Yet, it wasn't enough for him, he wanted to learn so much more, more than a human could possibly learn in a single lifetime.

But it was only because of her, that he could even acquire all the knowledge.

That he could even read and write.

With a bitter smile, he placed the flower bouquet onto the grass.

“Hello, mother. I'm sorry I didn't visit you sooner.”

When he was 32 years old, he stumbled over an old, mysterious book.

Being the incorrigible glutton for knowledge he was, he had acquired it immediately.

The book spoke of hidden and forbidden arts and awoke something in him that he had never known was there.

Another kind of hunger.

Until now he had thought that perhaps he could try to be content with being a respected doctor and master of arts, work at a university and help lots of students become another generation of highly educated, arrogant twits, who flaunted their degrees and doctorates. Perhaps he would have married, even though he had never loved in his whole life.

That was out of question now.

Now he wanted something else.

He wanted to become a sorcerer. And if not that, at least the great alchemist of his time.

Oh to be on the same step of so many other great alchemists, perhaps accomplish even more than they did …

He wanted immortality.

Three years later, he hadn't achieved immortality yet.

Sure, he was famous – his name was known in a surprisingly large part of the Holy Roman Empire and it would be known for a very long time.

But metaphorical immortality wasn't enough!

He wanted the real deal!

He wanted to live forever and be forever young! He wanted to make all of his dreams come true, see the world, learn everything there was to learn, maybe write it down and share it with everyone – so many things!

And he would do anything to be able to.

Giving up was not an option. He wasn't like everyone else. And he wouldn't die at fifty or less, like everyone else.

When he was 37 years old, he looked in the mirror and scowled at his own reflection.

He was beginning to show signs of old age; there were bags under his eyes and soft wrinkles around them. And were those frowning wrinkles on his forehead?

From what he had read in the book, the elixir of immortality would stop the ageing process, but it wouldn't make him younger.

He had to find it quickly, before he started to look like some wizened old hermit!

A few weeks after discovering his first wrinkles, he spotted his first grey hair and spiralled into a mental breakdown.

He put more effort into his alchemy and not just once it ended in small explosions.

On top of that, he had to evade authorities, who accused him of the worst crimes and angry mobs that thought he was a witch or possessed.

No wonder I'm already growing old and grey.

When he was 38 years old, he discovered how to make pure gold.

Now he couldn't be that far away from immortality too.

Besides, he could now grow stinking rich.

Sure, he knew how to present himself and often read horoscopes for rich people – then, he was also a surgeon and miracle healer – one of the best, may he add! No false humility!

But if he suddenly became stupid rich, people would ask questions and assume the craziest stuff – or find out his secret. That would get him into trouble with … basically everyone who desperately needed or wanted gold.

“I need to save the gold-making for times, when I really need it”, he mumbled to himself, “And only enough to live fine.”

He wasn't quite 44 years old, when he achieved his goal by accident.

Once he had made gold, but forgot to empty the containers with the gold-making substances afterwards – it had been late and he had been overtired from lack of sleep.

When he had discovered his mistake the next morning, he opened the vials to clean them of the gooey substances.

But as he scraped the remains off the glass, he found something in one of the vials.

His blue-grey eyes widened.

It was a small, red stone.

At first he thought it was a ruby and considered selling it to the next jeweller.

But as he held it into the light, it began to shine in rainbow colours and the light revealed thin golden veins within the red material.

This was something new!

Deciding that he wanted a better look, he put it in a bowl of water to wash the dirt off.

The water turned purple.

He quickly opened his book about hidden alchemy to make sure that this was what he thought it was.

And sure enough …

“Eureka!”, he whispered.

He had found the Philosophers' Stone!

After drinking the purple water – which had tasted horrible, by the way – he found the next morning, that his wrinkles were gone.

Sure, the bags under his eyes were still there – but he knew that they had little to do with his age anyway.

He had finally achieved his goal.

Overwhelmed with joy, he threw his head back and laughed and cried with sheer happiness.

This is the best day of my life!

When he was 51 years old, he realised that he wouldn't be able to hide his agelessness for much longer.

So far it was still easy to do so, as he wandered from place to place and no one knew how old he really was. Those were strangers, people he'd meet once and then never again.

But he was naturally a flashy and showy person with a remarkable appearance and a lot of people had at least heard of him.

Sooner or later, some elderly person, who had met him or heard of him before, would recognise him and question, why he looked so young after so many years.

I guess I will fake my death as soon as enough people ask me about my age.

He was 70 years old, when he decided that it was time to get lost.

Just a few days before, a little child in a nearby village had asked him to cure her sick grandfather and he had done so. Unfortunately, the old man had remembered meeting him 30 years before and had recognised him immediately. He had tried to convince the old man, that he was the son of the famous Doctor (of himself), but the other hadn't bought it and instead accused him of necromancy and devil worship, or witchcraft, as the inquisition and the common folk called it.

Technically, the old peasant was right. He was, by all standards, a necromancer, just as much as he was an alchemist, astrologer and surgeon.

Still, he couldn't help but take offence. He wasn't a worshipper of Satan!

“How dare you!”, he shouted in outrage, “I cure you for free out of goodness of my heart and this is how you thank me! The audacity! The gall to attack my honour like this! Had I known that I would be insulted like this, I wouldn't even have come here! Accused of witchcraft by a peasant I just cured, Jesus and Maria! Never have I been so mortified in my entire life! Oh, I have half a mind to go to court for this injury, but this isn't even worth it!”

Then he had rushed off, ere he did something he'd regret. The little girl had apologised for her grandfather's behaviour and thanked him for the help, but he had left the village the very same day.

Now he was sitting in a shoddy hotel room and contemplating on how he was to go about it.

He couldn't just vanish into thin air, that would raise suspicion.

“They need to think me dead.”

It was in 1541 – five years later – when he finally had all the things he needed for his plan.

Somehow he had managed to make a dummy that looked like him, without anyone noticing.

He bought a real hair wig, some old clothes and posed with that outfit in front of the mirror in his hotel room in Staufen. Good. He didn't look like himself at all.

Of course he could just have turned into an animal – by now he was capable of that – but the superstitious folks in the area tended to notice the sudden appearance of black animals rather than strangers coming and going.

Now he just had to choose which explosive he wanted to use.

He left a generous tip to the landlord as compensation for the room he was about to destroy.

Then he dressed the dummy in his own clothes, mixed the chemicals together and climbed out of the window over a wall, before they blew up.

The explosion was deafening, he saw debris and parts of his dummy flying over the wall and faintly heard the screams of the people in the hotel.

Just as he was about to bail, he heard someone exclaim: “The Devil himself has finally got him!”

He fumed, but swallowed his irritation. There was no time for losing his temper right now.

No one even took notice of him, as he left the borough, dressed as a poor citizen.

A few years later, he found that he had become something of a folk legend.

That amused him not just a little - and perhaps it flattered him too. It meant he had left enough of an impression for the people to still talk about him after his “death” - they often forgot about people quickly, once they were gone. But he would be remembered.

They would tell stories about him for a long time.

He was now immortal both literally and metaphorically.

#dr faustus #johann georg faust #it's not certain when he was born #they say either 1480 or 1466 #i decided to go with the latter

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Blind (Trixya) - DenDenMonMon

Summary: Plot twist: Alaska is the one that can see Katya from her backyard.

A/N: First and foremost I want to clarify that characterization is EXTREMELY important to me, and, even when the idea came to my mind some time ago, I didn’t even start writing the story until I did my proper research. I wrote and re-wrote this so many times, trying to make the characters as close to real as possible, and I’m not even sure if I got them right. Nonetheless, this is a Trixya fic, so that’s where my main focus is going to be. No disrespect to any of the queens, especially Miss Alaska. Hopefully she’s not so OOC that you guys will want to burn me alive. Massive thank you to everybody who helped make this story even postable. They are the true heroes. Enjoy!

AO3 Link

Blind

“No, those go over there! Ohmygod!”

Alaska runs a hand across his forehead, exasperated. Why is he even allowing people to help him? It’s not so hard to organize a simple party, he has done it before just fine. He shouldn’t be running around the place, so late in the day, making sure the house looks good.

There’s still so much food to get ready, and he hasn’t even started cooking. Everything should be set to receive the Drag Race girls that will be visiting his place tonight. He has organized the reunion so they can watch the finale of the current season. As far as he knows, nobody is watching anymore. Sure, they are all working and touring and whatnot, and not all of them were super obsessed fans right from the start like he’s always been, but they could at least support the show that–

Oh, no! That goes in the dining room!

It takes him the entire day but, by some point in the afternoon, when people start to arrive, the place looks somewhat presentable.

The first one to walk through the door is Bianca, all smiles and big teeth.

“Hieeeeeee!”

“Hello, Lasky!”

Alaska studies him shamelessly. He’s wearing jeans, a simple black t-shirt but a bright purple suit jacket on top. “Ooh, I like it!” Alaska decides out loud as he runs his fingers on the lapel. “I mean, it’s not animal print, but I like the color.”

Bianca laughs as he pulls him into a hug. “Of course you do, you stupid whore. This cost more than your entire house…” Alaska is sure his insult is supposed to be much longer but, as Bianca looks around the empty living room, his thought process stops. “Wait. I’m the first one here? Oh, no. I gotta get out of here.”

It’s betweens laughs and giggles that Alaska stops him from turning around, his mood already getting lighter. “No, no, no. You have to stay!”

They sit in the living room and Bianca tells him all about the Australian leg of his tour; shares stories of dirty dressing rooms, and crowds that would eat up anything he would feed them. Alaska can actually feel the excitement and happiness exuding the man sitting next to him. Something warm fills him as he listens to the beautiful adventures of one of the most successful drag queens to this day, who happens to be a close friend. Bianca is having the time of his life, traveling the world and taking advantage of the amazing platform that the show gave him. This is what drag should be all about. It should bring people happiness and make them enjoy life just as much as Bianca is doing right now.

The conversation has moved on to Alaska’s new album when the doorbell rings again. He opens the door to a lesbian Courtney in all her glory. She is wearing boy’s clothes but her face is fully painted and she is sporting a high ponytail.

One by one, and with only a few minutes between them, is that his friends start arriving. Alyssa is all legs in a tiny pair of shorts, he barrels in, rearranging the furniture that Alaska spent the entire day putting into place. Willam gets there and immediately takes over the kitchen, making sure the snacks are just the way he likes them. As soon as Adore crosses the door, he jumps to sit with Bianca, saying how much he’s missed his dad. Ginger brings his husband, surprising absolutely nobody. Kim Chi arrives alone, though, which prompts Alaska to ask him about Trixie.

“I thought you were coming together.” His statement comes out more like a question.

Kim shrugs as he drops a box of pastries on the coffee table. “He wanted to make sure the other Brian came, so he went to pick him up.”

The show hasn’t started yet. Nobody is paying attention to the TV as the queens start to loudly talk over one another, sharing stories and simply catching up after so long without seeing each other. As he chats away with the group, Alaska welcomes with gratitude the smile that takes residency on his face. He loves it, every second of it. His living room is filled with laughter and he’s letting the moment envelope him whole. He had really missed his friends and having most of them finally reunited after so long feels like a dream.

“How dare you start this party without me?!”

All eyes shoot up at the sound of the familiar moaning. Right after the anything but graceful words of greeting, there’s a loud scream that can only mean Tracy Martel is in the house. The wheezing sound that follows simply confirms that the duo is completed. Without failure, Trixie and Katya walk in holding hands.

If the place had been fun before, now it’s completely pulsing with life.

The loud laughter that Trixie and Katya add to the mix is gladly welcomed by everybody. The sounds are piercing and annoying, and Alaska can’t help but hate to love them. His relationship with each of them is significantly different. He loves both Trixie and Katya a great deal individually; but when they are together, it’s as if a new side of them comes out and lights up the entire room. By themselves they are both amazing people, helpful friends, and incredible artists; as a duo, they are nothing but light. Just like now, they arrive and are injecting joy into the little reunion right away.

Alaska observes how they go around greeting people, giving hugs and kissing cheeks, but never letting go of each other’s hands. They sit close together on a couch and it’s impossible not to get a smile on his face at their interactions. He loses himself in their antics and, even when he is supposed to be paying attention, soon he has no idea where the conversation around him is going. It takes a moment for him to reconnect to the reality of the chatting happening around him.

“Yeah, I’m still sleeping on that mattress.” Courtney pops a piece of brownie in her mouth as she shrugs. “Shit happens.”

“Oh, bitch!” Katya exclaims. “I shitted all over the bed!” There’s something almost kinda sounding like pride in his voice. His hand lands on Trixie’s knee, and squeezes hard as the memories come back to him. “That medicine was rotted. That whole situation was so disgusting. You suck one dick in P-town and it’s suddenly STD-land.”

Trixie’s high pitch scream of a laugh is heard right after. “I told you! You just wouldn’t believe it.”

One of Katya’s teen girl voices takes over and his hand brushes imaginary hair off his shoulder. “Why don’t you ever allow me to make my own mistakes? Ugh, you never let me be my true self.”

The whole group burst out laughing. It takes them a few seconds to calm down but, once they do, almost as if on cue, they hear the voice of RuPaul coming from the speakers of the sound system. The chairs they’ve pulled from the dining room, and the few couches in the living room, are enough for all the guests to comfortably take a seat as the show starts.

“This better be good,” Bianca warns as his arms cross on top of his chest.

Adore slaps him on the arm playfully. “Shut up, man. You are gonna love it!”

Michelle Visage’s voice travels through time and space and welcomes them to the show. Everyone in the living room goes quiet. Alaska makes sure to move and take the seat next to Trixie. He needs by his side someone that has for sure being watching the show.

Alyssa criticizes the dance intro, complaining about the lack of technicality and how the queens of this season seem to have no sense of rhythm. Alaska has to laugh with a tiny roll of his eyes.

The girl has only watched this one episode and is already making assumptions.

As if everybody has decided to take on their area of expertise, Courtney right away judges the wigs and Kim Chi points out all the flaws on the girls’ makeup. Alaska just can’t keep his mouth shut when they wear such horrible nails!

Three by three the eliminated queens get to see their highlights of the season. They answer questions from the public and share not so hidden situations that took place behind the scenes. Except for Ginger’s husband, everybody else in Alaska’s living room has gone through that process; they know what really happened, what was most likely produced, and which storylines were forced for the sake of the show. Maybe that’s the reason why, as the audience gasps at the revelation of a secret, nobody reacts on this side of the screen. The queens only partially watch the show, too busy talking about the challenges and how different they were on other seasons. They comment on the outfits and condemn the most horrible garments to ever walk the main stage. The quick recap they get to see of the season is not enough for all of them to fully understand why the top three actually deserve to be there. Ru’s decisions are questioned as the eliminations are presented to them.

When they reach a particular lipsync, between two of the fan favorites, Trixie softly whispers. “You know, I thought she was gonna stay,” he says without really looking at Alaska, but his head tilts in his direction. One of his hands rests on the back of the couch, his arm almost around Katya’s shoulders. The other hand is on top of his crossed leg, which Alaska has noticed Katya squeezes whenever there is something exciting happening on the screen.

Alaska forces his eyes to move up from the touching hands to see the side of Trixie’s face. “I know!” He purposely drawls his last word for emphasis. “She didn’t deserve to go that night. I like that dress, a lot. I liked the mix of colors and textures. The outfit was amazing. When she wore that yellow dress, though. Girl, that was enough reason to fucking ban her from the entire show.”

Trixie’s laugh is short but loud, directing a few stares their direction. “But she killed the lipsync, though.” He points a finger to the screen just as the queen they are talking about drops into a split and starts bouncing on the floor.

“Oh, c’mon,” Katya suddenly butts in. “You call that a killer lipsync? Momma, I’ll show you what it’s like to pound your pussy so hard against the ground the whole Earth moves.”

Just as he’s finishing that sentence he starts going down between the couch and the coffee table. His legs spread slowly and his arms go up in the air as he exaggerates what can only be his attempt to be sexy. Half of his tongue comes out to rest on his parted lips, in a way that has become a signature expression for both Trixie and Katya. Everybody starts cheering and throwing imaginary money as he pauses half of the way down, spreading his legs a bit more then stopping again. He shows how he is always fully in control of his muscles.

“Move on, girlie!” Alyssa is suddenly pushing away the coffee table to stand right next to Katya. “Let me show you what a real split looks like.”

The TV has gone to commercials and all eyes are on the show being put up in the middle of the room. Except for one particular set of eyes. As everybody laughs and screams, fully entertained by both queens, Alaska can’t help but notice how Trixie’s stare is fixated on Katya. It’s like every move is being carefully registered in his brain. More than amusement, there’s something closer to adoration reflecting in his eyes and Alaska suddenly has an idea.

Sure, everybody has joked about their relationship before, how Trixie and Katya are pretty much two halves of the same idiot by this point, or how they resemble an old married couple. They have always brushed it off, laughing at the jokes, going along with them. Never accepting but never denying anything. So tonight, as he has them right here, close and personal, Alaska is going to get to the bottom of this whole ordeal. That is now his mission of the night.

An hour later Ru is giving the sceptre to a girl whose hair is too high to wear a crown. There’s a new member of the drag family; a girl that they don’t know but have to welcome with open arms, almost as true siblings. Alaska watches her go up and down the runway with fake excitement. The true footage, with her real reaction at some bar, will probably be posted tomorrow. A new program starts and the TV loses everybody’s attention. Still, Alaska can’t stop thinking about his duty towards the new sister. He should try to get her number at some point, get to know her, make her feel welcome. He needs to at least check Wikipedia in a couple of days, when it’s updated. But that’s a task for another day, he needs to concentrate on the one at hand tonight.

Katya has his legs across Trixie’s lap by now. His head rests on Ginger’s shoulder as he laughs silently but uncontrollably. That’s probably Alaska’s favorite laugh of his, when he gets so excited that no sound comes out of his mouth. Trixie joins him briefly, three loud and annoying seconds of his signature laughter and he’s back to serious. Nobody is surprised and the conversation continues to a topic that Alaska has lost again.

His eyes can only focus on the way Trixie’s hand goes up and down Katya’s calf, pretty much absentmindedly. His black jeans ride up ever so slightly to the movement but nobody seems to mind.

“You’ll be the first one to go, you useless cunt!” Bianca’s harsh comment makes Alaska look at him.

Trixie laughs harder, throwing his head back before putting on fake confidence. “What are you talking about? I’m a skinny legend!” His hands land on his hips and his shoulders shimmer, sending everybody into fits of laughter.

Alyssa shakes a finger in the air. “But, you see, you are not a resourceful woman.”

As they all listen to the explanation following that statement, Trixie drops his hand back on Katya’s shin.

“Don’t touch me,” Katya whispers, it’s quick and sudden, as if Trixie’s palm hadn’t been there for the last ten minutes.

It was literally just there!

Trixie doesn’t say a thing back, though, he simply moves his hand and lets it rest on his own stomach.

“This bitch right here, she would be dead within the first hour.” Trixie pushes his chin in Katya’s direction.

“Plot twist, Momma, I’m already dead.” He points his index finger to Trixie, the tone of his voice matter-of-factly.

The whole room burst out laughing again and Alaska welcomes that warm feeling in his heart one more time. This is the sisterhood he always dreamed about, this is the type of people he wants to surround himself with; smart, talented, funny people who can make fun of each other, rolling with the punches and laughing carelessly from the bottom of their lungs.

Kim rolls his eyes. “Why do you always end up talking about zombie apocalypses?” Even when he’s trying to sound annoyed, there’s no malice in his delivery. Plus, it’s hard to take him seriously when that last word proves to be nearly impossible for him to pronounce.

Trixie sits up straight, thumb pointing to a laughing Katya. “Because this bitch smells like dead already! Makes me wonder if other dead creatures will come and try to collect her.”

“They are gonna think we are hiding their fucking queen bee!” And just as the thought leaves his mouth is when Alaska realizes he has been sucked into his observations for too long. This is so unlike him. Hopefully, nobody else has noticed how quiet he’s been. Hopefully, between Alyssa’s energy filling up the room and Bianca not allowing the conversation to die for even one minute, nobody has noticed how little Alaska has been bringing to their discussions. Hopefully, triggering Trixie to yell ‘honey’ nonstop, with the sole mention of bees, is enough to distract all attention from him.

Ginger turns to Katya, stopping him mid-conversation. “I need a cigarette, care to join me outside?”

Katya nods.

Trixie takes a hold of his arm. “I don’t think you should go.” His tone is severe, leaving no room for discussion.

Nobody is really paying attention to them. Willam is telling a story about a guy whose dick was so small he covered it whole when his hand closed into a fist. Alaska is actively conversing with the rest, but the corner of his eye is focused on the situation evolving on the other side of the couch.

“Don’t let him tell you what to do. You can do whatever you want.”

Trixie huffs under his breath, letting go of the grip he has on Katya’s arm, but doesn’t say anything else. Their stares meet. Their eyes have a full conversation that nobody else in the room is able to understand. Their pupils do all the talking when words are not needed. Trixie finally looks away with the shrug of one shoulder, as if saying the final decision is ultimately Katya’s.

Katya looks at him for a moment longer, pondering his options, before nodding his head dramatically. “Yeah, yeah, you are right. Sorry, Minj.”

The outcome is unacceptable for Ginger. His eyes go blank, showing all the annoyance he is feeling. “You see, darling.” He turns to his husband, placing a hand flat on his thigh. His voice is filled with sarcasm, purposely thick with his southern accent. “Miss Trixie, here, is still a bit upset that I sent her home.”

“I went home because of her, which is different.” Trixie doesn’t even look at him when he speaks, he simply directs his words to the air between them. “I won the–”

He’s about to respond, but Katya wraps his fingers around Trixie’s wrist.

“Don’t.” The word comes out barely above a whisper, but Alaska manages to hear it, and so does Trixie, which is who matters.

With the tension rising, in full Kim fashion, he looks around almost confused. “When’s dinner?” The air clears to the sound of Kim’s infamous words. Laughter once again fills the room and hostility melts away instantly.

Excusing himself, Alaska makes his way to check on the food. As soon as he enters the kitchen, he notices Trixie is walking right behind him.

“Girl, what was that all about?” Alaska asks while lifting lids on the stove.

Trixie walks to the fridge, taking out a beer from the pack they brought. With a twist of his face, his shoulders shrug, dismissing the subject. “Brian wants to stop smoking. He does really well until Josh comes along. It happens every time.”

“You know…” Alaska turns around as slowly as he lets the words out. “He doesn’t need a savior. He can take care of himself just fine. It may take him some time, but he always manages to figure things out.”

Trixie brings the beer to his lips, doesn’t drink it, though, Alaska can tell as much. The movement seems more like an excuse to hide the true expression on his face. He nods instead, and hums in approval. “Mmm, yeah, I know… But, also, he’s a people pleaser. So if his best friend asks him to go for a smoke–”

He doesn’t intend to, but Alaska can’t help but laugh at his words. “Ooh, sounds like someone’s pressed.” There’s still a small chuckle accompanying his words when he continues. “You can’t still be salty about the whole best friend situation.”

There’s a small huff, an attempt to subtract importance from the subject. “Bitch, of course, no!” Trixie rolls his eyes, pretending to be exasperated. “You should all know by now that’s a lame fucking joke.” Trixie avoids Alaska’s gaze, his eyes roll before they are glued to the bottle in his hands. “I just…” The sentence dies on his lips.

This is a weird sight. Trixie Mattel is never shaky with her speech, but Alaska keeps in mind that he’s talking to Brian Firkus right now. He is talking to a man in his late twenties, wearing glasses and a floral button down shirt; the farthest stretch possible from the Barbie doll fantasy filled with confidence that walks the runways.

“I care about him a lot,” Trixie finally concludes. Then there is a heavy sigh, almost as if he is preparing himself to let the thought out. “I don’t think I have ever cared about anybody the way I do about him. And it’s fucking stupid, because I know they are his friends, but they don’t seem to care enough. Or maybe I just care too much. I just, you know, it’s hard to believe anybody can care about him like I do. Does that make sense?” He seems on the verge of embarrassment at the end of his rambling, but not there yet, that wouldn’t be on brand for him.

Brand. The brand. Miss Fame. Where is Fame now?

Alaska puts down the bowl of salad he’s been tossing since the conversation started, his bony shoulders dropping. “Okay, here’s the deal. Your friendship is the best motherfucking thing in the entire world, is that correct?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“So what does it matter what anybody else thinks? If Josh wants to believe Brian’s his best friend, fucking let him. Katya is an excellent drag queen, and I look up to her immensely; but Brian is a deliriously amazing human, such a genuinely nice person, and he’s been there for every single one of us when we needed him. He can be everybody’s best friend, but who is his best friend? When things went south for him, he asked everybody to step back, we did, we gave him space. Everybody but you. You stayed there, like, not there-there, ‘cause you still respected him, but you went through the fire with him. We kinda felt… relief, maybe.” The last couple of words come out more as a question, asking himself if they convey his true feelings on the matter. “He kinda, like, freed us from the responsibility, and we just waited for the dust to settle. You fought the fucking fight with him. Nobody can take that away from you.”

Trixie’s eyes look glassy, Alaska is not sure if that’s caused by her words or if it’s just the light hitting the transparent glasses. Since he has said his peace, and hoping that Trixie will understand where he’s coming from, he decides to light up the mood.

“So, if you have an issue with gay Danny DeVito over there, just bring it right to his busted face!”

The unmistakable Trixie screams comes out, it lasts only a second before he whispers a small thank you.

Alaska can see Willam and Katya making their way to the kitchen, most likely wondering why they are taking so long or, less likely, wanting to help.

Change the subject, now!

Without even thinking about it, he goes for a safety net and pretends they are talking about something else.

“She was robbed!” He exaggerates an infuriated growl, causing a laugh from Trixie and a confused look from the men entering the room.

“Why are you talking about me?” Katya quickly asks, his own words causing him to laugh hysterically.

Willam slaps him on the arm playfully. “They are clearly talking about Shangela, right Trix?”

“You fucking cunt,” Trixie replies with a chuckle as everybody else screams with laughter. The subject is put to rest as each of them grab something from the counter and take it to the dinner table.

It’s a pleasant scene they walk into, the seats around the table are almost completely filled and people chat amicably. Alaska stays a couple of steps behind, basket of bread in hand, and scans the room carefully. The only word that comes to his mind is: grateful. He could be feeling a lot of things at the moment, but the strongest of them all is an enormous sense of gratitude. He’s happy for the smallest of things that had to fall into place for him to be standing right here, right now. He’s thankful he auditioned for the show as many times as he needed to, for the amazing people he got to meet, for every mistake and every lesson. Most of all, he’s glad he stopped doing fucking coke. A sigh physically leaves his body as he, once again, allows into his mind all that he lost during those years. He wouldn’t have been able to enjoy simple gatherings like this one if he had still followed that dangerous path of self destruction.

Now, as he admires the smiles on his friends’ faces, lit by the soft yellow light above them, he understands that everything he had to go through happened for a reason. He can appreciate the beauty of this moment, because he has experienced the exact opposite. And that’s a place he doesn’t wish to go back to, ever.

“Okay, bitches, be quiet,” he addresses the room, pulling the chair at the head of the table. He blinks slowly a couple of times before he starts his speech. “Ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary people, and everyone in between, I want to thank you all for coming, for making time in your ass tight schedules.” There’s a round of laughter following his words. “Before I get all emotional, and in touch with the feelings I don’t have–”

“Not since the accident,” Katya interrupts from his seat at the other end.

The chuckles subside after a couple of seconds, allowing Alaska to continue. He shares a couple of stories of how things used to be and notes how much they have grown up and grown closer together with the passing of time. After a few jokes, anecdotes, and heartfelt thank yous, he invites his guests to start their meal.

“And if you are wondering what’s the soup of the day… it’s Vivienne Pinay!”

It is in cheerful laughter that people start serving themselves, filling their plates with the available food at the center of the long table.

Alaska takes his seat. His plans for the night didn’t include a seating arrangement. He has Bianca on one side and Courtney on the other. Several people separate him from the couple he’s supposed to keep an eye on, the same couple that inevitably has sat together on the other end of the table. He observes them from afar. Trixie talks to Willam, meanwhile, Katya takes the bowl directly in front of him and places some salad on both his plate and Trixie’s. As soon as he’s done, and without stopping the conversation, Trixie takes the ice cubes out of his lemonade and puts them in Katya’s glass. The moves seem almost automatic, like a well rehearsed dance. They don’t really need to think about them.

During his observations, Alaska is halfheartedly listening to the conversation happening around him, which has now moved on to politics. The topic alone is enough to remove his attention from the couple now fighting over a baby carrot, and focus completely on the matter at hand. He’s commenting here and there as he chews on romaine lettuce, and it isn’t until Adore starts sharing the story of a friend that he gets fired up.

“She was fucking attacked, man,” Adore says as he waves his fork in the air. “Right there in the middle of the street. How fucked up is that?”

Those words are enough of a trigger for Alaska.

“I just don’t get it! Like, how can you be so fucking mad at someone just because you don’t understand them?” A part of him knows his taking it too far, but he can’t help but feel so strongly about it. “Just because someone is different from you, they don’t deserve your respect? It’s such a waste of energy to be pissed off at, like, nothing. Fucking exhausting!”

Alaska’s rant ends with a push of his plate. He’s suddenly not hungry anymore.

“Aren’t you doing the same thing, though?” Courtney offers casually, her lips wrapping around the rim of the glass in her hand for a moment. “You are wasting your energy being mad at the haters. There really is not much of a difference.”

Is she even serious?

The condescendant twist of her lips is what does it. Alaska doesn’t want to be part of that conversation anymore. Instead of firing back, he gets up, bringing his glass with him, and walks to sit on the end of the table. The vibe is completely different on this side. Everybody is laughing and the atmosphere isn’t charged with political statements.

“I just don’t see the point of it.” Katya groans frustrated. “It really is pointless.”

Trixie looks at him, as if he couldn’t believe the words that just came out of his mouth. “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s the most basic human thing. It’s, like, essential to your well-being.”

Katya’s fork picks up a few stranded peas and he drops them on Trixie’s plate before continuing. “I just don’t see what’s so good about sleeping. It’s, I don’t know, this amount of hours that you just… lose! There are so many things I could be doing with my life but, no, my body must go into - into airplane mode and do - not even its most basic functions. I’m just lying there, doing nothing. The only use I see for it, is to practice for when you are dead. There is no other reason, really. Like, get, umm, you know, get your body used to being, like, dead.” His hands go all over the place as he’s talking, trying to explain what he can’t fully put into words. He seems almost apologetic, but the people around him simply chuckle at his rambling that is so unmistakably Katya. “Oh, my god. I could go on and on about this.”

“You did,” Trixie says between small laughs. “You literally just did.”

The wheezing noises leaving Katya are enough to have them all laughing hysterically right along with him. He pushes Trixie slightly, who doesn’t seem to mind at all.

“Shut up, you dumb bitch. Just because you sleep like a bear–”

“A bear?!” Trixie interrupts him in surprise. “Are you calling me a bear? Is that a read?”

Katya laughs for just a second before pretending to be shocked. “Read? I don’t like to read. I actually don’t know how to read. I’m illiterate and I’m cool with that.”

“Oh my God!” Alaska can’t help but finally intervene, drawling the last word as he waits for the people around him to calm back down. “It feels like I’m watching one of your fucking YouTube episodes. Do you ever, like, turn that shit off?”

The pair looks at each other, their eyes are glued to the other’s, and they mirror silly smiles as they let a slow but firm no leave their mouths at the same time.

“It’s like they share one brain,” Willam agrees. “Is there anything else you have shared?” The sexual connotation is evident, which pretty much is expected every time Willam opens his mouth to speak. “Cause you know, Kats and I have shared some… well, we have given some head together.”

“Yep, yep. Yep, we have.”

Trixie’s jaw is somewhere near the floor after hearing that last statement. This is not the facade he puts for the show, and this is not his exaggeration of a simple emotion either. He is fully and completely surprised by what he just heard. The wheels in his head are visibly turning, as he tries to rake his brain to make himself remember if he has heard about this before, coming up empty.

“Wait, what?”

Willam grins mischievously. “You never told her about it?”

“No!” Even when Willam’s question had been directed to Katya, Trixie is the one replying.

“I so did,” Katya assures him. “I totally told you. Didn’t I tell you?”

Trixie exhales loudly a couple of times, words getting lost before reaching his lips. “I - I think I woulda remembered the story.”

This is interesting.

Alaska’s mouth is wide open in amusement. The conversation has taken a rather entertaining turn. “What’s the story? Spill the beans, you bitch!”

A foot taps on Alaska’s chair, he turns around just to see Kim, each of his hands holding plates filled with food to the rim. “You’re on my seat.”

“Girl, can we switch for just a moment? I’m about to hear a nasty story here.”

Kim rolls his eyes but does it anyway, not without mumbling insults under his breath that nobody really seems to catch.

Willam is the one that starts telling what happened, not really trusting Katya with articulating properly and telling the story as it actually was. It was at one of the tours, Katya had taken someone back to the dressing room, which had a wall that didn’t go all the way up to the ceiling. Willam heard them from the other side of the wall, and decided to climb over it and join the fun. The details are extensive and intensive. Willam leaves nothing out about the vulgar encounter.

Suddenly, there’s the loud sound of the legs of a chair scratching against the floor. “Imma pray for y’all tonight,” Alyssa says as he dramatically gets up from his seat. “Your nasty souls need to be touched by the hand of Jesus himself, there’s no other way to save you. I’m sorry. I can’t keep listening to this disgrace anymore.”

“Yeah, I think I’m done here too.”

Trixie follows Alyssa and they make their way to the kitchen, empty plates in hand. That doesn’t stop Willam, the story continues for a few more minutes, as if nothing had happened, until the whole tale has been told. Katya’s attention is immediately disconnected, though. His eyes are trying to focus, and his neck is craning so he can get a view of the people that just left, one in particular, Alaska dares to guess. He’s just waiting until the moment that Katya decides to go after them, he clearly wants to, but doesn’t. They all stay there, striking pointless conversation that soon includes everybody else.

Alaska receives praises for his cooking as he goes around the table, picking up everybody’s plates and taking them to the kitchen.

“That’s what I’ve always said,” Alyssa says, placing a hand on Trixie’s shoulder. “You are a person of dignity, and respect, and - and people like you are really hard to find.”

Cleaning the dishes is enough distraction for Alaska. He tunes out of the conversation happening behind him as he drops the food remainings in the trashcan, then puts the plates in the washer. It isn’t until Katya’s voice is heard that his attention refocuses.

“Can I talk to you?”

“Alrighty, then. That’s my cue to leave.” Alyssa walks away with a click of his tongue.

Trying to remain invisible, Alaska pretends to be entertained by the china he’s putting away.

“Are you mad at me?”

Alaska looks up, just in time to catch the reflection of Trixie shrugging one shoulder. The darkness outside allows the light of the kitchen to project everything that’s happening behind Alaska. For a moment, the scene feels almost invasive. He feels like he’s spying on his friends. Especially when Katya takes half a step forward, entering Trixie’s personal space, and placing a hand on his arm. No words are spoken, they just look into each other’s eyes, share soft touches here and there, play with each other’s fingers. It’s intimate. It’s private.

Leave. Get out.

With the silent excuse of taking the trash out, Alaska can’t stand the closeness anymore and leaves them alone. He exits through the back door, Hefty bag in hand, and pushes it inside the large trash container. It’s too full, he is going to hate rolling that outside in the morning. That’s a problem for future him, though. Current Alaska looks up, and is able to see through the window how Trixie shakes his head. Katya’s hands are all over the place as he clearly tries to explain something, something that Trixie has no intentions of listening to.

Trixie walks to the fridge and takes out another bottle, shaking it in front of him as his index finger points at Katya. What appears to be angry words leave his mouth. Katya doesn’t seem to be intimidated or scared, at all. He takes a hold of Trixie’s hand instead, and puts the bottle down on the counter. He brings Trixie’s hand up to his lips and kisses it. Trixie’s eyes soften instantly. There are no traces of the upset person that had taken over him just seconds ago. The change is remarkable.

It seems like Katya is the one talking now, because Trixie is simply nodding his head from time to time. Occasionally, he will shrug, which Alaska has learned to identify as his way to cover up when something is affecting him. It’s hard to understand what’s going on, but the vibe of the whole situation has clearly switched.

Katya is apparently done talking. He is looking down, his head is hanging low. That’s why he misses when Trixie purses his lips, and is just left there waiting for a kiss. When he gets no response, he taps on Katya’s shoulder to call his attention. It takes him less than a second to meet Trixie’s lips briefly. There’s a hug and small smiles adorn both their faces.

Trixie takes his bottle and walks away, leaving Katya alone in the middle of the kitchen. He sighs heavily, supports his elbows on the counter in front of him, and his head falls on his hands. His fingers massage his temples for a moment. His breathing is physically heavy, Alaska can tell as much from his spot in the backyard. He wonders if he should just walk in and comfort his friend, but he wouldn’t know how to. He has no idea what the fuck just happened inside, he wouldn’t have the right words to help ease Katya’s feelings, whatever those may be. He seems to be almost… sad?

Before Alaska can make up his mind, Katya straightens his back and turns towards the window. Alaska jumps, he basically just got caught spying on his friend; but he remembers nothing but a reflection can be seen from the other side of the glass.

Katya walks outside, his hands digging in his pockets and finding a cigarette.

“Oh, hey!” He looks surprised to find Alaska there, but it lasts for just a moment.

Maybe it’s because he knows Alaska doesn’t smoke anymore, or maybe because he still has Trixie’s words playing in his brain, either way, Katya doesn’t light the cigarette. He brings it to his lips and simply lets it rest on the corner of his mouth.

“Are you okay?” Alaska asks genuinely concerned.

“What? Oh. Yeah, sure.”

The answer comes a little too quick, Alaska is not buying it. He tilts his head to the side, and his arms wrap around his torso, indicating him that he better try again.

“What the fuck just happened in there?” He tries a more direct approach when he still gets no reply from Katya.

“Bitch, I don’t know.” He runs a hand against his bald head in frustration. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Alaska’s eyes roll on their own accord. “You know that’s not true.” A worrying feeling suddenly invades him. “Are you guys okay? Are you fighting?”

Katya looks at him for a second too long, probably deciding if he’s the right person to let it all out to. Maybe he is wondering if he’s ready to let it all out in the first place. Most likely, he is not even sure of what the hell is going on and has no words to phrase the situation properly.

He takes the cigarette away from his mouth, toys with it for a moment, placing it between his fingers, before directing his gaze back to Alaska. “He is so confusing, you know?” There is no need for names, they know who the conversation is about. “Like, he knows I’m a whore. He knows I would literally suck any dick, any dick, even mine if I could reach it!” His hands flail around him, the white stick creating a hypnotizing line following his movements. “Sometimes he sounds, like, I don’t know, maybe, jealous? I don’t even know.”

A light chuckle escapes Alaska’s lips. “Of course he’s jealous!”

“Why would he, though?”

“Uh, maybe ‘cause you are out there sucking any dick but his?” Alaska’s sarcasm doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Bitch, I’ve tried!”

“Shut up. Not like that.”

Confusion is clear on Katya’s face. “Wha-what you mean?”

“Don’t act so surprised, girl. You know I’m right.” When the confused expression doesn’t leave Katya’s face, Alaska has to, once again, find a better way to touch the subject. “Okay, so, yeah, you know I love you both. Well, I love all of you guys, like, right now, I’m at home, I’m with my family. I am happier now than I have been in my… than I was when I was younger. I owe all of that to you guys. I know this sounds unrelated but I have a point, okay?”

A small chuckle accompanies his last words but Katya simply nods, allowing him to continue.

“I want you to feel that same amount of happiness. I know you, and I mean you, Brian, or at least I hope I do. I know you only look truly happy when he’s around, when you two are making stupid jokes and finishing each other’s fucked up sentences.”

Now it’s Katya’s turn to laugh softly.

“See, you know I’m right,” Alaska points out with a smile. “You are so guarded and so careful, hardly ever let anybody in. It took you and me to go to fucking drag war together for you to even begin to open up. Things with you and him just… are. It breaks my heart that you are so perfect for each other but have never really acted on it. That’s just… sad.”

This morning, when he was getting his house ready for the viewing - dinner party, Alaska had not planned on having this conversation. He hadn’t even been aware that he had such strong feelings about his two friends until right this moment. Now that he has opened this particular can of worms, he needs to go through with it. Judging by Katya’s reaction, this is a topic that he needs to explore as well.

With a drop of his shoulders, Katya groans frustrated. “Can I just suck his dick?”

Alaska can’t help but laugh wholeheartedly, the sound coming from the bottom of his lungs. “You could be doing that and so much more, don’t you want more than that?”

He doesn’t reply right away. Katya walks around in circles, unintelligible grunts generating at the back of his throat. “Fuck, I don’t know. I do? Maybe. It’s just… We have so much history. I would kill myself if I did something stupid again. I don’t think I could live with myself if I hurt him even one more time.”

“You are talking as if he didn’t have any saying in all of this. He’s so much stronger than you give him credit for.” Alaska’s words come out slowly, giving Katya time to absorb what he’s trying to say. “Have you talked to him about this? Have you asked him if he’s willing to give it a try?”

The huff that comes out through Katya’s nose is completely unintended. “We did talk about this… ages ago. We decided it was best to keep things as they are. Our friendship works pretty well, why change it?”

“Uh, don’t you wanna change it for something even better?”

“How can you be so sure it will be better, though?” Katya’s index finger points at Alaska, the question coming out almost as a challenge.

“I don’t!” He confesses. “I don’t fucking know; that’s the beauty of it all. You need to just fucking jump, have no expectation, no idea of how things are gonna go, and just, like, do your best and be there, and respond to things as they happen.”

The smile adorning Katya’s face is enough to make Alaska feel proud of himself. He has touched a delicate spot and he knows that, at the very least, he has planted a seed in his mind. Now it’s up to Katya to decide if he leaves it buried there, or if he nurtures it and watches it grow into something beautiful.

“When did you become such an insanely accurate witch psychologist of the heart?”

“I just… like, I used to drive myself crazy, overthinking about everything and then, one day, I decided to, like, stop.” Alaska knows that’s not enough of an explanation, but it’s all he has. “Listen, you and I specifically have been given all these fucking blessings, so many that they defy all logic. One of the very few things we are missing is someone to share them with. There are a lot of toxic fucks out there, and if you manage to find someone who is actually a good person, who is, like, willing to deal with all of this…” his long fingers point at Katya up and down, who takes no offense and laughs instead. “Then why not just go for it?”

The cigarette finally finds it rightful place in the trash can next to them. Katya stares at it for a moment, the jungle of thoughts in his mind visibly becoming untangled.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Just… would you talk to him? Would you bring the idea up and see what happens?”

Katya nods slightly. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try, when the time is right,” he finishes, turning around.

“When the time is right,” Alaska repeats to himself as he watches Katya walk back inside the house.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”

He hears Trixie’s voice and shakes his head slightly. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but, hopefully, one day, those two morons will realize just how perfect they are together. For the time being, Alaska will just observe them from afar as they blindly fall even more stupidly in love with each other.

#rpdr fanfiction #alaska thunderfuck #katya zamolodchikova #trixie mattel #bianca del rio #courtney act #adore delano #alyssa edwards #willam belli #ginger minj #kim chi #trixya #canon compliant #mlm #dendenmonmon #submission

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hellskittcn-blog · 5 years

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have you ever noticed that ( patricia walker ) from the ( marvel universe ) looks a lot like ( rachael taylor )? but ( she ) also goes by ( hellcat ). having the abilities of ( enhanced agility and titanian enhancements ) sure makes them a force to be reckoned with. they’re known to be ( ambitious, ) but also ( frenetic, ) and they’re ( thirty-three ) years old.

{ trigger warnings : mental illness, implication of assisted suicide, child abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, addiction, drugs, anorexia, bulimia —> but most those are in the section called patricia’s backstory, the rest is clean to read if you skip that part }

hey everyone, i’m ty!! i’m trash and neglected my sweet angel baby by forgetting to post her intro, so here it is now!

INTRODUCTORY INFORMATION ABOUT PATRICIA //

ok i don’t even want to talk about how much s2 of jessica jones did my girl dirty. so for the most part (excluding backstory, which i’ll get to in a second) patricias life story is more heavily based on the comics canon, just more of a modernized character like in jessica jones.

basically this means: shes much less likely to parade around spouting phrases like good golly. and more likely to answer to trish than patsy.

it also means ill be keeping the comic version of how she got her powers & what those powers are ( more on that below )

PATRICIAS CHILDHOOD BACKSTORY // ( pls skip over this if it’s likely to trigger you <3 )

her mom was super obsessed with her growing up and wrote a comic about her call it’s patsy

when she was about 5-6 her mom forced her into the limelight, creating a tv show based off of the comic series

patsy was a childhood star and her mom was her agent. she was always forced to eat what her mom wanted her to eat and look how she wanted to look. her mom forced her to become anorexic and bulimic, something she would eventually recover from, but not until her mid-to-late twenties.

patricia though grew tired with her mom’s obsession and fixation on her, so she tried to rebel against the patsy brand. this resulted in their relationship becoming even more strained, dorothy verbally and physically abusing her daughter. the physical abuse would stop around the time when they fostered jessica jones, but the verbal abuse continues still to this day.

she became a teenage pop sensation, starring in multiple music videos, as well as hollywood films, as patsy. her whole life reflected around being someone else, wearing different coloured wigs, dressing in her mother’s image. she never developed an identity of her own — perhaps that’s part of the reason why she also became so fixated on super heroes, due to most of their alter egos.

regardless, trish had an equally rough time in her adolescent and early-to-mid 20’s. her mother forced her, at the ripe age of 15, to start giving head to (and often engaging in intercourse with) male directors so she would get better parts in films. she fell into the hollywood party scene, and became very addicted to drugs. she could often be found in bathroom stalls completely inebriated, throwing herself at any man she could, just so she could feel something. being in such a vulnerable state made her very susceptible to being taken advantage of, particularly sexually, and this influenced her need to later make sure “no one touches her again unless she wants them to”.

BECOMING HELLCAT // ( tw implication of assisted suicide )

trish was eventually married to a man named robert baxter, a childhood friend of hers who was training in the airforce. trish lived on and off the base for a couple of years, when her husband was moved to a secret facility where Beast was working, she learnt more about superheroes and started working with the avengers. it’s at this time that she found the suit greer nelson aka tigra had used under the alias The Cat and sported it as hellcat.

her marriage then had a falling out, so when the titanian priestess known as moondragon offered to take her back to Titan for a period of training, trish was quick to accept. there she had her potential enhanced by titanian technology and was trained in several forms of martial arts (though, keeping in line with the Jessica Jones canon, krav maga is her favourite).

she came back to earth and started working with the defenders (probably so she could work with jessica, just saying). she met daimon at this time, fell in love with them, they got married and moved to san fransisco and worked as occult investigators, working especially with the avengers west coast branch

when daimons dark soul started getting corrupted again, trish had a mental breakdown. she was depressed to the point of near-vegetation, until a mercy killing entity called the Deathurge came to her. trish begged the entity to kill her, and therefore removed her soul from her body, killing her.

HELLCAT’S RETURN//

she ended up in mephisto’s realm fighting in the arena of tainted soul from which she would eventually be freed when daimon tricked the avengers into resurrecting trish

she came back, wrote an autobiography, and started a book tour.

after teaming up with mephistop, hela, and pluto, trish stopped dormammu from taking over all the dimensions of hell. she then went back to her life as hellcat.

the rest of her life up until this point has been a constant string of working as a PI (particularly for occult related things), being kidnapped to some dimension of hell by daimon or some other high ranking demon ruler, working with the defenders, avengers, working as an undercover agent, going rogue, working as a partner of jennifer walters, or taking a break to write more books and go on more tours.

all in all, trish has done it all, and will continue to do it all. she’s determined and motivated, resilient, and loves to keep busy. really the only thing she’s missing in her life to truly make her fulfilled (aside from a partner who won’t kidnap and drag her for hell for all eternity,,,, whoops) is a family of her own.

seriously, bring me trish children. that is all <3

A BRIEF SYNOPSIS OF HER POWERS//

enhanced strength, speed, endurance, agility, and reflexes

sensitivity to psychic phenomenon: including seeing things on an infrared spectrum, detecting mystical energy even from a distance, and seeing through magical glamours and illusions ( particularly ones caused by demons )

in near death situations the true extent of her psionic powers will activate and she can move objects with her mind and release telekinetic, concussive blasts. however, excessive use of her psionic powers lead her to chronic migraines so she opts not to use them unless necessary.

she can magically summon her hellcat costume on command & swap it for whatever item of clothing shes wearing. basically an anime girl

being tortured in mephistos realm gave her magical resistance to the point of near-immunity. she can break free from magic spells and even deflect magical attacks off her aura

MISCELLANEOUS//

trish is a raging bisexual. that is all

also she has a bruise k!nk

her hair was bleached blonde by her mother at a young age and she was forced to wear ginger and strawberry blonde wigs throughout her life. the redhead patsy from the comics in my opinion is a wig she wears that’s part of her hellcat suit. otherwise she keeps her hair blonde, because it’s part of the only identity she has.

she loves fashion and makeup and overall girly things but will also throw down with the nastiest of them do not get on her bad side

one time she summoned an army of demon rabbits to magically build a bridge for her to cross

can u say badass

#assembleintro #﹠⋅ 。♡ ꜰɪʟᴇ. ⋮「 ── curiosity did not kill this cat! 」#﹠⋅ 。♡ ʜᴇʟʟᴄᴀᴛ. ⋮「 ── patricia walker. 」#「 autobiography. 」

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aloeverabastard · 5 years

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— BASICS!

Is your muse tall / short / average?

Tall if you include the flytrap.

Are they okay with their height?

Definitely.

What’s their hair like?

Soft...a cross between moss and soft grass. Short and spiky looking from afar but not spiked at all. Thats normally.

Spring: we grow flowers and our hair turns pink for a month (march-mid april).

Summer: p much the same as it is normally but if its too hot it dries out and gets all yellow and crunchy

Autumn: we turn ginger and our hair falls out little by little

Winter: slick bald. We have to wear a hat or a wig to keep our head warm

Do they spend a lot of time on their hair / grooming?

Depends...in the summer we must drink more water in order to keep it green. It needs more trimming in spring (but personally we prefer to leave it untrimmed because we like when our hair blooms)

Does your muse care about their appearance / what others think?

We care about how we think of ourselves. Not really what others think.

— PREFERENCES!

Indoors or outdoors? Outdoors

Rain or sunshine? Yes

Forest or beach? Forest

Precious metals or gems? Gems I guess

Flowers or perfumes? Flowers

Personality or appearance? Are we a joke to you..?

Being alone or being in a crowd? Being alone

Order or anarchy? Order?

Painful truths or white lies? Lies as white as half of my face

Science or magic? Why not both?

Peace or conflict? Conflict is more interesting to watch

Night or day? Day

Dusk or dawn? Dusk

Warmth or cold? Warmth

Many acquaintances or a few close friends? A few close friends

Reading or playing a game? Meh. Both

Or neither

— QUESTIONNAIRE!

What are some of your muses bad habits?

Depends on which of us you are referring to. Kuro Zetsu used to chew on Mother’s sleeve when he was nervous or frightened. Guruguru Zetsu is obsessed with poop and that alone is a terrible habit. As for me, well...I seem to have the terrible habit of being disturbingly obnoxious to my co-workers when I’m in the best mood. Otherwise our bad habits include overeating. We eat until we puke and that is a mess in itself.

What are some fond memories your muse has?

We have few that are memorable. Our personal favourite was from childhood when we joined our brothers in hide and seek. We hid in Mother’s sleeve and they never found us. Mother played dumb when they asked her. The best part was that we came out later that day but neither us nor Mother told them where we hid.

What’s it like when your muse breaks down?

Not a pretty sight really. We wilt and get all sickly. If the breakdown is too bad, we will close everyone and everything off from ourselves, quite literally; we put up a wall of thorns and it allows us to have some time to ourselves while keeping people out.

Is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life?

Yeah? Our Mother is one we can trust. She may not be trustworthy to other people but she never would betray her own children. As much as we adore our comrades...we aren’t sure if we can necessarily trust any of them with our lives. This is no offence to them as we feel that they think the same about us and each other.

What’s your muse like when they’re in love?

Wouldn’t really know. Haven’t been in love before....we have had our share of crushes but Shiro takes care of the talking for the both us.

Stolen from: @sutiliscor (sorry Kuzu)

Tagging: @deidaraiwa @nurtured-by-rp @realitachifacts @sasoriofficial @zetsu-official @realdeidarafacts @kakazufacts and whomever wants to do it

#akatsuki #naruto #zetsu #about muse #narutorpblog

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shirlleycoyle · 3 years

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Meet The Genetic Sleuths Solving Decades-Old Trans Murders

On the blustery morning of November 26, 1983, a beachgoer spotted a still-warm body in Half Moon Bay, California. The victim, who looked about 20 years old, had been stabbed more than 20 times and left in the sands near Pillar Point Bluff. Their wrists were slashed, their face bruised and swollen. (Out of respect for the victim’s unknown gender identity, Motherboard is using they/them as a pronoun.)

At their time of death, the person was presenting as a stylish, slender woman. They were 5-foot-10 inches tall, wearing an auburn pixie cut and casual clothes: yellow capri pants and a turtleneck over a foam-form bra, fishnet hose, and two pairs of feminine underwear. A Madonna-style white metal crucifix hung around their neck.

When taken to a medical examiner, the victim's body was misidentified as male, and nobody ever came to claim it. In an effort to identify the individual, cops dubbed them “John Doe #83-26” and released a crime sketch depicting a man. It failed to convey their gender identity or expression, including that they were likely wearing makeup and going by a woman’s name.

The case of Pillar Point Doe soon went cold and their identity remained a mystery for 35 years—until two genealogy sleuths recently cracked the case. The trans couple, who specialize in cold cases involving trans and gender non-conforming people, found the forgotten victim’s birth name through an online DNA database, reviving the hunt for their killer.

“I would work until I passed out”

Lee and Anthony Redgrave traced Pillar Point Doe’s relatives from Wales to Utah using the family history site GEDmatch, known for its role in finding the notorious Golden State Killer. The search was close to home for the Redgraves, who toiled obsessively for months without pay.

“I would work until I passed out. I’d cry myself to sleep at night, and have dreams where I was woken up thinking that [the victim] was telling me their name,” said Anthony, who along with Lee, ran a small team for the DNA Doe Project, a non-profit that identifies deceased people through forensic genealogy.

Lee added: “There are a lot of factors—and homicide detectives have absolutely no idea how to do this.”

The Redgraves were inspired by personal tragedy to help solve the case. In January 2018, a transgender friend of theirs, Christa Steele-Knudslien—a beauty pageant organizer and trans activist—was beaten and stabbed to death. The attack, which came after another friend’s suicide, sent Lee spiraling into a depression.

“It really tore my brain up,” said Lee, 41, a non-binary night owl with arms full of tattoos. “I got depressed, and when that happens I usually throw myself into a project.”

Anthony and Lee Redgrave

When a true crime-loving friend recommended they volunteer for the DNA Doe Project, it seemed like a good distraction.“Partially, I’m sure, it was her being like, ‘You have to stop being in a funk,’” Lee said. “We both felt really helpless about Christa—and this was something we actually could help with.”

They had plenty of experience with genetic genealogy, but they knew the limits of DNA and family tree matches for transgender victims. Database searches often lead to “dead names”—birth names victims no longer use, and aren’t known by in their communities. And most law enforcement systems don’t allow searches across sex marker categories, blinding them to some gender non-conforming folks.

A “trans-informed” perspective could shed some light, considering trans people are more likely to be the target of violent, unresolved crime. “Being a trans person, I know I’ve been incredibly fortunate not to have had a bunch of horrible things happen to me,” said Anthony, 38, a soft-spoken Civil War buff with a long ginger beard. “That was a driving force.”

When the Redgraves first heard about the Pillar Point Doe case in July 2018, they knew almost immediately it was ripe for a genetic gumshoeing.

An Unlikely Partnership

The victim, who was carrying no identification, had been found only two hours after they were stabbed in the neck and chest, allowing cops to collect a piece of blood-soaked blotter paper known as a “blood card.” This meant Pillar Point Doe’s DNA didn’t have to be extracted from bone, a longer and more expensive process. And yet it would likely show a complete picture of the victim’s entire genetic makeup, one that could be extracted in a lab and uploaded to GEDmatch, they said.

But the couple still had to convince the San Mateo County Sheriff’s Office to hand over the blood sample—and to team up with them on the investigation.

The Redgraves had a hunch cops would be willing. Their request came on the heels of the Golden State Killer’s arrest a few counties away, and in a section of northern California that tends to be queer-friendly.

“The thought was it was a good case because it was the Bay Area. We expected there would be more friendly law enforcement and a LBGTQ liaison in the Bay Area,” said Anthony. “We had to give an elevator pitch to the department, like, ‘This is why we want this specific case, and this is how it will benefit you.’”

The cops, it turned out, were game. The Redgraves signed non-disclosure agreements and— in a rare move—police released Pillar Point Doe’s private case files, including the blood card along with crime scene and coroner photos.

The Redgraves agreed to do the genetic sleuthing, then pass off next of kin matches to police, who would talk to relatives, collect DNA samples and handle the investigation from there.

It was an unlikely partnership. Many trans people refuse to work with cops since law enforcement has routinely targeted the community, trans activists and experts said. According to a 2015 survey, at least 57 percent of trans respondents said they would be afraid or uncomfortable going to police for help.

“It comes from being abused or not taken seriously by officers who historically have been disrespectful or dismissive of trans people,” said Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen, a policy expert for the National Center for Transgender Equality. “There’s a real stigma. Sometimes just being visibly trans in public is enough to get stopped or harassed by police on suspicion of being a sex worker—whether or not you actually are.”

Cases with trans victims have long been de-prioritized by cops, who assume victims are sex workers, living a “high risk” lifestyle or are “disowned” by their families, Heng-Lehtinen said.

But a lack of trans awareness is bad for police, too. Detectives who are ignorant about the community are more likely to use a transgender person’s dead name because it was printed on a government-issued ID, or to seek outdated information from estranged family members who knew them pre-transition, he said. It keeps those investigators from understanding the whole picture.

“If you’re an officer who’s asking around for Mark Smith and everybody in the neighborhood knows her as Marcia, that’s not helping anybody,” Heng-Lehtinen said.

Lee chalks it up to lack of education and training. “If you look at popular media over the past 20 years, the characters that are dressing opposite of what they’re ‘supposed to be’ are usually trying to trick somebody or get away with something—the end of ‘Ace Ventura’ is a classic example, or ‘The Crying Game,’” Lee said. “You get a lot of that mentality still in law enforcement, just because they haven’t had an alternate education.”

Identifying Doe

The Redgraves quickly got to work on creating a more gender-accurate forensic sketch of Pillar Point Doe. In the 80s and 90s, at least three drawings had been made of them, all wildly different.

One showed a “partially-Asian goth” guy with boxy slicked-back black hair, Lee said. Another depicted a shaggy-haired Val Kilmer look-alike with almond eyes. All were of men, and none were quite right.

“It seemed like [police artists] were trying to make this person look male,” Lee said. “Considering they had natural hair, not a wig, and were wearing pants with multiple layers of hose and underwear, it’s likely that they were tucking to have a more female appearance,” Lee said, citing details about the victim's outfit.

“They were probably attempting to pass as female as opposed to someone who was [a] drag performer or engaging in prostitution while cross-dressing.”

Based on those clues, the male sketch on fliers would have likely been lost on Pillar Point Doe’s queer “chosen family”—or anyone who saw them the night of the murder, the couple said. So using crime scene and coroner photos, the Redgraves and an artist came up with a new sketch that depicts the victim with a more feminine look, a yellow outfit and natural-style makeup.

In March 2019, Pillar Point’s blood card came back from the lab. It showed Pillar Point Doe’s entire genome sequence on a huge hard drive.

From their cozy home office in central Massachusetts, the Redgraves and a small team plugged those chunks of genetic code into GEDmatch, which compares DNA from testing sites like 23andMe and ancestry.com to find possible relatives with similar genetic makeups. Unlike law enforcement’s Combined DNA Index System (CODIS), the site can pinpoint distant ancestors, not just immediate family members.

It works like this: Say you find a painting in a park with no signature and you want to learn the name of the artist. If you could somehow scan the piece’s complex colors and brush strokes into a massive database of art, you might be able to match it to the person who made it. Other paintings by the artist with similar patterns—a distant cousin, in this analogy—may also pop up.

In general, DNA evidence is only as accurate as the people who collect and analyze it. Technicians have been known to misinterpret samples, and police have submitted tainted or mixed genetic material. But Pillar Point’s blood card appeared to be a solid sample, the couple said.

The search led the Redgraves to a small town in Wales, where Pillar Point Doe’s distant relatives once worked at a glove factory. “We kept finding people who descended from this really specific family, but then finding the right branch turned out to be really hard,” Lee said.

Scores of unwed mothers hailed from the town for unknown reasons, leading to frustrating genealogy dead-ends. “It happened over and over again in this one little town,” Lee said.

The couple built a massive family tree and cross-referenced names with public records. They traced that to a group of relatives to a Utah pioneer community with roots in the Mormon Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “When you work on someone’s genealogy, you get to know them in a really intimate way through their ancestors,” Lee said. “You know you’re getting close when they start looking like who you’re looking for.”

The couple soon discovered Pillar Point’s cousins belonged to an intermarried clan of families. Some men had multiple wives and children, amounting to a genealogy headache. “It’s a problem that’s common in isolated religious communities. The fancy word is endogamy,” Lee said. “You end up with a whole lot of half-relations and unreliable predictions.”

Setbacks

Then a fiasco unfolded. The arrest of the Golden State Killer in 2018 had sparked privacy fears from critics who claimed GEDMatch could be used for nefarious reasons. When a criminal case centering on a minor stirred up more controversy on the site the next year, the owners abruptly purged the “law enforcement matching” section of it in May 2019, according to the Redgraves.

With no warning, it left the couple with only about 20 percent of the genetic clues they’d had before. “Think of it as the number of letters turned around on your ‘Wheel of Fortune’ puzzle. [Afterwards] there were 80 percent less letters, and we still had to guess the phrase,” Lee said.

The setback forced them to get creative. They sought uploads from people who descended from early settlers in Utah, along with the Mormon church, and mapped out “clusters” of potential relatives.

Anthony spent hours tinkering with DNA Painter, a tool that helps genealogists make sense of matches. Eventually, it led to Pillar Point’s possible great grandfather.

During an all-nighter in October 2019, they had a breakthrough. When they got to one of the possible great grandfather’s relatives, they checked records for proof of the person’s life after 1983, and found none. Lee pulled out Pillar Point’s crime scene photo and checked it against a high school yearbook photo of the grandchild.

It all added up: Here was the long-forgotten face of Pillar Point Doe.

They both burst into tears. “There were periods of crying and shaking for a few days afterwards. It was really intense,” Lee said.

The team then sent Pillar Point’s birth name to cops, who collected DNA from a relative to confirm the match, reinvigorating the investigation.

San Mateo County police have since declined to release Pillar Point Doe’s birth name—or to allow the couple to—saying it could hurt their hunt for the killer. “This homicide is actively being investigated. Unfortunately, disclosing information about the details may hinder our investigation,” Sergeant William Young, from the San Mateo County Sheriff’s Office, told Motherboard.

Cold Case, Close To Home

Now, the Redgraves want more answers. “Ideally, police will find the perpetrator,” Lee said. “[Cops] definitely want to tell us something but they can’t. It makes us feel hopeful.”

Not long ago, Lee got a tattoo of poppies in Pillar Point Doe’s honor. It was inspired by the California flower bloom that could be seen from space in March 2019, the week the couple began searching for the victim's identity. “I am absolutely forever changed from working on this case,” Lee said.

Ultimately, the Redgraves hope Pillar Point Doe will be remembered for who they were—a complex and loved person, not a forgotten John Doe. “Hopefully someone who loved them will carry on their memory,” Lee said.

The couple now runs the Trans Doe Task Force, a research group that helps police and medical examiners with transgender and gender-expansive cold cases. Recently, they launched a database that allows for DNA comparisons across sex marker categories. They also founded their own firm, Redgrave Research Forensic Services, and Anthony has helped train law enforcement departments on five continents.

These days, the couple has a small framed high school photo of Pillar Point Doe in their home, near portraits of other people from cases close to their hearts.

“Pillar Point has become part of our family. I feel like we are basically like their foster parents,” Anthony said. “I’m going to feel that way until I know exactly how this case ends.”

Meet The Genetic Sleuths Solving Decades-Old Trans Murders syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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gryffindorkus · 6 years

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Heyy umm I'm not new to tumblr but I'm new to hp I read all the books in 2 weeks last year (I'm 12) I wanna start cosplay this year but I don't have access to wigs or anything and I don't know how to start but I'm hoping you can help me please? Do you have any recommendations for who I could next Gen cosplay? (I'm ginger if it helps) love your cosplay💜 it's ok if you don't reply 💕

Well first off WELCOME TO HARRY POTTER! You’re at the perfect age to start obsessing over it and then in 10 years you’ll have turned into me! You have been blessed with the gift of ginger hair, and in this fandom that means you can cosplay at least half of the characters without having to use a wig. Use this to your advantage!

Personally, I’ve always worked with wigs and I don’t have any characters that I use my real hair for; but I know there are a lot of people out there who only use their natural hair. The key is just styling it. Making your hair shorter is easy, you can tuck it into a hat or just put it up. If you have long hair you can place it in a bunch of different ways for each character you play. And if you have short hair style that bad boy like mad!

Honestly though, don’t stress too much about the colour of your hair. I’ve seen people do amazing cosplays for characters that they don’t match canon hair colour with. And honestly, if you’re looking to do next gen, everything’s made up anyway because we have next to no canon information about most of the characters.

Experiment around, have some fun, find out what works and doesn’t work. There’s a lot of trial and error involved in cosplay and sometimes things aren’t going to look good, but sometimes you’ll try something and the world will stop for a second because you’ll look perfect!

I don’t really know what next gen characters to suggest for you because well... I don’t know you so I don’t know who you’d fit with. Matching a character’s aesthetic is important but I always find I have more fun cosplaying (and especially rping) as a character who’s personality I can connect with. Which is why I make such a great Pansy because I have no soul. So, just like with getting your aesthetic down, trial and error my friend. Trial and error.

Best of luck!

#ooc #people coming to me for advice makes me happy #I'm bad at advice #but it sill makes me happy #opalxooxx

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fedoraqueen · 4 years

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Baby dragon

Tarragon leaned over blue as his captain worked at his desk, he was running his hand through the Captain's hair. He missed having hair, he used to be proud of his brown curls. But unfortunately the blast that tore his face apart had also partially scalped and torched him, leaving him unable to regrow hair.

He subconsciously started to gently braid, blue's hair was different from his own. His was a lot coarser and oily to the touch, while blue had a fine silky soft feel. He yanked hard on the final twist.

" Ow! Are you done?" Blue swatted at him

" no." Tarragon started to undo the braid, " I'd like to brush it again... If you're okay with it?"

Blue sighed dramatically and held up said brush, " do what you must."

Tarragon grinned and started to brush, counting the motions quietly. He was tempted to ask for a wig or something but his time with krell made him shake at the thought of talking to tha'hali. He shook his head out and finished with the Captain's hair, blue stood and stretched out.

" thanks blue..."

" Same time tomorrow?" Blue joked.

" please?"

Blue nodded, looking Tarragon up and down. Tarragon awkwardly shifted away, not sure what he was thinking.

" you know my hair isn't that long yet... It's only just barely got this length."

" yeah. Don't cut it. Please."

Blue raised his brow, " why? There's enough here, we could make you a wig-"

Tarragon bent down, wrapping blue into a hug.

" Please don't."

" why?"

" I don't want your hair."

Blue pulls away giving him a mix of a confused and hurt look, Tarragon pets his back, pulling him close again.

" not in a bad way, I like how soft it is but I don't want you to cut it."

" why? I mean i almost have too much-"

" But you aren't sad anymore" he blurts, starting to run his hand through the hair again.

" what do you mean I'm not sad anymore when was I sad?"

Tarragon spins them around and sits in the office chair, pulling blue into his lap. Blue elbows him, " you're breaking my rule."

" that rules dumb, and don't change the subject. You've been happier with your hair longer now, from what I've seen anyways. You smile more, you don't flinch when I come near you, you've even gotten more descriptive in your therapy log."

" those are private and you have an unhealthy obsession with my hair! It won't hurt me to chop my hair off again tarragon."

" I won't accept a wig from you. Blueberry."

Blue sighs, " it's just hair."

" it's more than that. You know that, it's important to us. When we style it, we stand out, it's one of the only things we can actually control about our looks."Tarragon runs his hands through blue's hair again, he gets a small sad smirk, " besides, I couldn't handle being ginger, even if it was fake."

Blue punches his arm, " you're terrible."

Tarragon grins, " I know, and being bald is starting to grow on me."

" you can pull it off but you need something on your face"

Tarragon shrugged, " maybe I'll grow a beard"

" maybe."

Tarragon rubs his chin, " could I pull that off?"

" I'm the wrong person to ask."

" what do you mean?"

Blue doesn't respond, choosing to walk out with the question hanging in the air. Tarragon looked into the nearby mirror, looking into his face and single eye. Blue was right, he'd need to find something for his face.

#clone troopers #clone wars #blueberry #clones #cwacrossthestars #clone ocs #commander tarragon

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queenforanight · 7 years

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Keep Your Wig On!

So I get a fair amount of questions asking ‘what kind of tips can you give about wigs’ and my usually answer has been something along the lines of ‘lol i dunno don’t get a cheap one?’

Honestly, I’m no wig expert, but it’s something I’ve never written about and something that I feel I can shed a little bit of light on.

Just so you know why I suddenly had an urge to write this:

Last night I went to a friend’s party where we had to dress as ourselves when we were in college. For me, this meant wearing pretty much the same clothes with slightly longer hair *yawn* BORING.

So instead, I decided to go as a friend of mine from when she was in college. She was notorious for having bleach blonde hair and extremely heavy black eyeliner. Basically your typical teenage emo girl.

For me, this meant trying out a blonde wig for the first time in god knows how long.

Now I’ve always said, to others as well as myself, stick to your natural hair colour. This is mostly because you can look a bit odd with a different colour, especially since your eyebrows and skin colour will usually match up to your natural hair colour. However, I was really pleased and surprised by the results I had last night from being a blonde, so I spent today making looks to match different hair colours that I’ve always wanted to try!

1. The Brunette Blaise

You’ve seen this before, and you’ve probably heard me talk about it before too. If so, just skip ahead to number 2; you won’t be missing anything.

I’ve pretty much always stuck with brown hair, only because it’s the same colour as my natural hair. This means I don’t have to worry about my makeup or skin tone; as long as they match my natural hair, they’ll match the wig.

There isn’t really too much more to really say on it. It’s a bit boring and doesn’t pull me far from my comfort zone, but it makes looking like a woman a lot easier.

2. Bring On The Blonde!

I never thought I could do blonde, mostly because I have such dark hair naturally. However I noticed that if I use it with dark features (such as dark tights and panda eyes) it can actually work! Ok it looks like the hair is dyed blonde, but it still looks reasonably natural!

I really want to try this again at some point but with a classier, more formal look. That being said, I can not express how pleased I am with the results I got from going blonde! I’ve already had a few people tell me I look completely different and unrecognisable, and some even thinking I look better (even though the wig itself looks like a small haystack that was dragged through a larger haystack).

It’s still not a hair colour that I would necessarily pick often; I do prefer my brown hair and I would definitely need a better blonde wig, but I would certainly do it again! Who wouldn’t want to look like a die-hard My Chemical Romance fan?

3. Jessica In Ginger

I bought this wig a long time ago, tried it on, and hated it immediately. Since then it’s been gathering dust at the back of my wardrobe wondering what it did wrong. I spent HOURS brushing this thing earlier, and it still has knots in it, but it was worth it in the end (even though the lighting is so harsh...).

Similar to the blonde wig, rather than putting on a lot of makeup I just went for something minimal. I think the reason this didn’t work the first time was because I just put the wig on expecting it to work with my regular look. Now I understand that the colour of your hair will change how you should do your makeup and how you should style yourself, especially when it’s this bright. It also used to be completely straight, which I don’t think worked too well with my features, however it now has a bit of a curve (through years of neglect and bad wig care...) which helps add body to the hair.

4. Pink Because Fuck It Why Not

Here’s a wig I borrowed from my girlfriend, simply because if I’m going to make a post about wigs and hair colours I’m gonna go all in. Like I said with the ginger hair, you have to dress to match your hair colour; so with pink hair I naturally had to dress like an anime character.

I seriously need to sort out the lighting with these bright hair colours...

So for pink I found it best to wear light colours. Dark colours worked too, but not as well in my opinion. I also found it looked better as a costume piece (like I said, anime) than it did with a regular outfit. Did I like it? Yeah sure. Would I wear it again? Probably not.

The thing I found with crossdressing is that I’m doing it as best I can so I blend in; having bright pink hair will do the opposite of that (the ginger one is a bit suspect too). This isn’t to say you shouldn’t try it though! Remember what doesn’t work on me may work brilliantly on you, and you never know until you try.

You might notice that I didn’t include black in this list. I do have a black wig, however the conditions on wearing black are the same as the brunette wig, so it’s not really worth repeating.

TL;DR Just Tell Me What I Need To Know...

So if you’ve skipped ahead here, you should probably go back to the start and read the whole damn article. There are no shortcuts to crossdressing and I’m not a buzzfeed journalist where I’ll obsessively put the answer in the last paragraph only...

To summarise I’ve learned that, under specific conditions, you can wear any wig colour you like. Obviously some are easier to work with than others, however that doesn’t mean you can’t try other colours. I wore brown/black for 7-8 years simply because of a few bad experiences with bad wigs back when crossdressing was new to me. With a bit of practice and actually understanding colour styling and form, I’ve been able to go back to those colours and make them work for me. Other than that just remember these pointers:

If it’s your first wig, go with your natural hair colour. It’s easier to work with.

Unnatural colours (pink, blue, silver etc) will draw more attention to you, it’s up to you if you’re happy with that.

If the colour doesn’t work, change the style of your clothing and makeup.

If it still doesn’t work, maybe it’s the cut of the wig. Think about the style of the wigs that do work on you and try to achieve that style with a different colour.

That’s all I really have to say on the matter. I could mention front lace wigs, however this post is already long enough and I can save that for another day when I’m more accustomed to them!

If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask!

Until next time gurls!

- Jessica Blaise x x

Just to finish off:

Gender Mag October Issue Is Now Live!

Inside, you’ll find articles about eye makeup, building confidence, crossdressing for Halloween, Crossdressing experiences and so much more!

You can subscribe now at www.gendermag.co.uk, or you can read the trial version here!

#trans #transgender #transgirl #trans girl #girls like us #girlslikeus #transisbeautiful #genderfluid #jessica blaise #jessicablaise #makeup #wigs #fashion #makeup blogger #fashion blogger

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fragmentedshards · 5 years

Text

The Final Curtain, Chapter Ten

The Flight of the Robin, Part One

Aleistor Chamber, or the Viscount of Druitt, stood at his full height in the doorway to the balcony and cast sweeping glances over the audience members with his amethyst eyes. He smiled, the same dashing yet sinister smile which sent shudders down the spines of all who knew him.

“How lovely to see such an impressive gathering of connoisseurs of the performing arts, all flocking here tonight beneath this celestial rooftop to watch my very own production!” the Viscount sighed, waving his hands about dramatically.

“Wha- his production?” Ciel hissed, his skin crawling. He had not forgotten the nature of the secret underground parties Viscount Druitt had once thrown, and his own narrow escape. He glanced down at his ticket. The Flight of the Robin, it read. He cringed, knowing he was in for a long night.

“The show will begin soon, but I could not allow it to start without first coming to personally greet all who have-” the Viscount gushed, but stopped and gasped when his eyes fell upon Matilda. Ciel resisted the urge to slap a palm to his face.

“Why...” Viscount Druitt whispered, rushing to Matilda’s side and grasping both of her gloved hands in his own. “Why, I declare I have never seen such an exquisite specimen as you! Cloaked in such deep scarlet like the blood pulsing through a heart impassioned with love, intriguing golden eyes like drops of the sun placed on the face of a porcelain doll by a goddess! I must confess that if I do not learn your name, my enrapturing cardinal, I shall live forever in regret until my final days!”

Matilda stared at the Viscount, completely speechless. She had barely inhaled to reply before Sebastian stepped in.

“This is the Lady Capucine Brodeur, a distinguished noblewoman who has traveled all the way from France to witness your masterpiece,” Sebastian smiled, intentionally adulating the Viscount to distract him.

Viscount Druitt put the back of his hand to his forehead and sighed. “France? How divine!” he gave a little start and glanced at his pocket watch. “I’m afraid I must be off now; the show must go on!”

And with that, the Viscount fluttered out of the balcony, leaving the bewildered party staring after him. Ciel rubbed his temples.

“I cannot believe I have to sit through this,” he muttered.

As the lights began to dim in the theatre, the earl noticed two women in one of the balconies across from them. One was wearing an aubergine gown and had fiery ginger hair, and the other wore an aqua gown and her hair was the dullest shade of brown. Both women were unusually pale and their eyes were underlined with purple, as if they had not slept for several days. Ciel pointed the two women out to Sebastian and the rest of the party, in a low voice as Aleistor Chamber addressed the audience from the stage.

“Those are the sisters who run Kurios Toy Emporium,” he whispered. “Florentia and Theodosia Loric. It makes sense that they would attend a ballet such as this; I expect they are always on the watch for inspiration for new products, as I am also.” In a much lower voice he added to Sebastian; “Keep an eye on them; they may just be sick or sleep-deprived, but they have the looks of people tormented.”

Sebastian nodded and whispered back, “Yes, my lord.”

The velvet curtain rose and the orchestra began to play the lively overture. Several ballerinas, all in costumes reminiscent of soirée attire, danced about the stage and pretended to mingle with one another. Ciel gritted his teeth and sank low in his seat as the prima ballerina appeared in the center of the stage, her costume an imitation of the pink and black dress he had worn himself while going undercover for the Jack the Ripper case. He could hear Sebastian snickering behind him and knew that no amount of glaring would stop the butler’s laughter. Beside him, Matilda gasped quietly and lowered the opera glasses.

“I do know her,” she whispered to Ciel. “She is wearing a wig, but I still recognize her face.”

Ciel nodded at this confirmation, relieved to have extra help on the case. With his heightening senses and Sebastian’s dulling ones, the end result was that they both became rather average, and until they could find a solution to that predicament the earl would need all the help he could get for Underworld cases.

The production dragged on for Ciel, though Elizabeth, Soma, and Matilda appeared to be enjoying it. Lau and Ran Mao had, it seemed, stopped paying attention. The earl suffered through watching the ballerina interpretation of himself flirt with the male ballerina playing Viscount Druitt during an especially cheap scene in the woods. He did have a laugh, however, when two male ballerinas reenacted the magic trick Sebastian and Lau had performed at the party that night. Sebastian, too, could not help but smile at the dramatic portrayal.

“If I could not provide a distraction worthy of being replicated in a ballet,” he muttered to himself. “What kind of a Phantomhive butler would I be?”

The curtain fell as the ballerina playing Sebastian stepped out of the sword-addled wardrobe unharmed, and the theatre brightened to signal intermission. Ciel turned to Matilda.

“After the show is over, see if you can meet Bryony outside.” he instructed. “Try and find out what’s going on. I wish I knew more of what Her Majesty was concerned about, then I could give you clearer orders, but for now I only know that something sinister is tied to this ballet. Find out as much about that as you can.”

“Of course, Lord Phantomhive,” Matilda nodded, polishing the opera glasses absentmindedly. She had yet to take her eyes off the stage.

Ciel shifted in his seat to face Sebastian. “And you: after the show, find the Loric sisters and set up a meeting between them and myself for the next opening in my schedule.”

“Yes, my-”

Sebastian’s signature reply was cut short by another surprise arrival in the balcony.

“Fancy seeing you here, Lord Phantomhive,” came a grouchy voice from the left side. All nine heads turned in that direction once more, and the face that greeted them was just as familiar as that of the Viscount, though much more grave.

“I could say the same for you,” Ciel retorted, his expression almost smug. “Sir Arthur Randall.”

Sir Arthur, the police commissioner of Scotland Yard, glowered at Ciel before noticing Matilda. “And who might you be?”

“Bonsoir monsieur,” Matilda introduced herself in French, surprising the entire party. “Je m’appelle Vicomtesse Capucine Brodeur. Comment allez-vous?”

“Where was that during the meeting with the Viscount?” the earl muttered, his face positively blue with annoyance. Shaking it off, he turned to the police commissioner. “So why are you here, Sir Arthur?”

“I know just as much as you do, Watchdog,” the gruff man seethed. “Perhaps even less.”

Ciel crossed his arms and scoffed. “Well, I don’t know very much. I was given my orders with as little detail as possible. Frankly I was hoping you knew more than I, that way you could tell me what I lack in this case.”

Sir Arthur grimaced at Ciel before admitting, “This particular troupe seems to be the target of several attempted murders. Never the same technique twice, but always with the apparent intention of eradicating the prima ballerina.”

Matilda’s eyes grew wide and she gasped, refraining at the last moment from exclaiming in shock and fright. Sebastian had only to look at her to understand what would have come out of her mouth had she not covered it up: Not Bryony!

“My my,” Lau smiled coolly, stroking Ran Mao’s thigh. “This intermission is shaping up to be far more interesting than the ballet itself, don’t you think so, Ran Mao?” The assassin nodded silently as usual.

“I see,” Ciel mused aloud. “So Her Majesty is concerned for the safety of this ballerina and the apparent obsession with her death. Are there any clues regarding who might be the perpetrator in these attempted crimes?”

“None yet,” Sir Arthur growled. “But you can be sure Scotland Yard will handle it as soon as any clues surface. You, Watchdog, may stay out of this.”

“And if it turns out to be something far more sinister than what the Yard is used to?” the earl inquired smugly. “What will you do when you find yourself up to the ears in unexplained phenomena?”

The commissioner gritted his teeth. “Scotland Yard will take care of this,” he repeated, stumped by Ciel’s question. He seemed to want to say more but was abruptly prevented by Edward Abberline, who had been standing quietly behind him the entire time.

“Hello there, Lord Phantomhive!” he exclaimed, quickly inserting himself between Ciel and Sir Arthur. He grinned nervously, hoping to contain the conflict before it grew too large for the theatre balcony. “Such a very interesting show tonight, isn’t it? Simply fascinating. Unfortunately, the commissioner and I must be off now-“ he gave Sir Arthur a pointed look. “We will undoubtedly run into you again before this is all over. Have a nice night!”

Sir Arthur stared at Abberline, wishing he could strangle the life out of the impertinent inspector right then and there. Exhaling heavily, he threw a final glare in Ciel’s direction before departing. “Your compulsion to protect that detestable brat, Abberline,” the commissioner muttered as they returned to their own seats. “Will land you in a mire of troubles one of these days.”

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convndrums · 7 years

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here the FAWK she ( the semi-finished masterlist of all my characters ) is ! took way too long but hopefully as you proceed to click on the linque below you’ll know why smh but yep ! i’ll be adding their pages on my account when i’m done with them soon i hope and maybe come back with a bunch of connections for each character but for now this is all i got & smash this like or im me for plots i’d love to get on those finally xx

reintroducing amanda wheeler; intro & info page.

queen of irony. rich post- faux country gal who’s a loud homosexual and writes hetero fics/has an indie het smut for the absolute shits and giggles. dates a married woman she’s utterly in love with and will pull the life support cord for. said to be possessed by a possessed flapper. cute and knows it even though she looks like a republican. socially open & everywhere. morally grey.

reintroducing imogen yates; intro & info page. ( tw violence )

the grey area between your mom friend and your drunk aunt. happily vegan & owns a vegan restaurant called the fork, alt. the vegan cult’s lair. won’t kill you, but will convince you she really wants to. local brat tamer. minds her business via minding others. clashed head-first into nature’s very own reset button: amnesia. used to be satan and traumatized everyone. disgustingly active and accomplishing.

reintroducing ethan holland; intro & info page. ( tw suicide )

he is a sk8r boi, she said see ya later boy ( and meant it. they’re dating now. hey lourdes ! ) a nice person, so nice he doesn’t realize how fake he sounds/is. a certified headass. previously a bully/bully enabler, current guilty fuck. #torn. does the most for his loved ones. doesn’t remember his own birthday. googled foot fetishes once. trolls stan twitter with his fake selena gomez stan account when tumblr crashes. burned a sue of cide note with his name scribbled on it.

reintroducing sebastian miller; intro & info page ( tw violence )

kazimer sokolov whom. russian ex-cult member well-adjusted into a mundane life via lies, a fake canadian accent he’s ‘trying to get rid of’, being a twilight saga aficionado and a dickwad, a lame record store and a tumblr blog to keep himself sane by maintaining a general aesthetic and shitting on people and every discourse out there. knives/books sniffer. allegedly fucked a moose. probably kinkshames as a way to deal with his own “kinks” aka please keep the dead bodies away. ( im kidding i swear but [redacted] )

reintroducing prudence zima; intro & info page ( tw death )

parents died in a fire when she was two months old and it shows. idolizes avril lavigne & her favorite movie is lords of dogtown for aesthetics references. dude. social leech or effortless networker ? both. remains in her lane regardless. cry-types probably. here for a good time, not a long time. steals your stash and smokes you out with it. avid dick connoisseur. minimum effort lifestyle. either on her way to become a manager of some one hit wonder band that finds it’s demise in a freak accident, a drug dealer or god forbid, a guidance counselor; depends. mild cool girl syndrome.

reintroducing jennifer meade; intro & info page ( tw death, violence and abuse )

bi/pussy muncher and proud misandrist, first and foremost. remembers killing her brother very fondly. the one girl in a room to call when you want to kill a bug and you’re relieved until she kills it with her bare hand. tops. unstable & chaotic evil, respectively. the ginger devil. biased and has her minion whom she invests a great deal of her time in brain washing and obsessing over. supposedly here to make amends but that’s not happening any time soon.

reintroducing margot williams; intro & info page ( tw mental illness )

deserves better. very gay. all her friends are heathens xtra, take it slow. corrects typos in the gc. a nerdy editorial assistant daydreaming about publishing houses instead of the magazine she works for. lowkey shy and she’s angry about it. goes off if she must. jacks off to #knowledge and yuri anime. helps with homework and essays and takes the kids out. deadpan because we’re original but she swears it’s just the face & unresolved trauma. stans her therapist. unofficial older sister.

reintroducing chandler accardi; intro ( re-written ) & info page

needs to do better. dropped out of college for culinary school then dropped out of that too. was engaged to an absolute goddess he ultimately wronged ( with her damn best friend, bitch disgostin* ) and got kicked out to the curb. currently residing in the couch of his sister until things are resolved. thot-by-default & annoying. has like three ( 3 ) redeeming qualities. has never been told to shut up and it shows. works at buzzfeed.

reintroducing abel gautier; intro & info page

french and “confused”. lives a minimalist n’ expensive life. if american psycho & french kiss were the same movie. wine sniffer. the devil bakes croissants. will watch you die. takes grudges to the afterlife. gets attached but either ruins it or ruins it to spare everyone, himself included. falls in love a lot but knows how to calm the fuck down. very giving, fortunately. manipulative but isn’t too wild about bending everything to his will.

reintroducing simini gale; intro & info page ( tw abuse, violence & mental illness )

token white actress & character in rosie’s show. [ britney vc ] its me.... against dissociation. a loud mess with an intense mental state and anger issues dulled out by her prescribed meds and whatever pill she got in the bottom of her manager’s purse. dependent and distraught about it. grocery shopping for garbage food and attending comedy stand up shows half drunk as a hobby. stable ? where. very nice and super flighty. heels are hot. wishes she could fight someone without feeling the urge to actually fight someone.

reintroducing calvin o’shea; intro & info page ( tw mental illness )

it’s not just the depression more than the incredible self hatred. walks into rooms with his bad energy, grumpy mood and cunty attitude. graduated college just to shut his dad up. wants to die harder than edward cullen. just doesn’t give a shit. has a baby named freddie mercury ( also known as the antichrist, with alanis, his mortal literal enemy whom he absolutely despises and will not hesitate to put his dick back in again lbr ) who will probably grow up to talk shit about his parents whom he also mentioned in his tell-all book on ellen. works at his family’s bookstore that sucks the life energy out of college students nearing a mental breakdown.

reintroducing isabel pavia; intro & info page ( tw drug use )

contemporary dances her feelings away. too ambitious for her own good but knows what she’s doing. in a goth ass secret society ( here ) a.k.a her new found purpose. knows everything eventually. oddly trustworthy. doesn’t know what speaking loudly is, let alone yelling. loves the moon & has that moon app. had to take painkillers when she twisted her ankle very badly and would take them for a while for stress and performance reasons, but has stopped. a quiet angel.

reintroducing anastasia zeller; intro & info page

ambitious/multi-talented asshole. horror trash & an emotional/mental maze which translates well into her weird works on no sleep reddit and current horror comedy podcast. ( click here for info ). needs a therapist according to a friend, whom she dropped for saying that. will bite your head off. obsessed with her works to an unhealthy point. would love to establish a company and stuff out of it and is working on that. healthy relationships are a semi-foreign concept.

reintroducing morgan booker; intro & info page ( tw death )

vape-curious and takes photos of ghost towns and abandoned-everythings because #vision. had a roadtrip phase like the fake deep idiot he is. morally grey. genuinely here for a good laugh and spreading joy in the form of hover-friendships and taking lit candids of his friends. knows shit and comes off as a creep sometimes but does he really care. knows your mom’s name. lives in a disused hospital bc he’s marinating on that aesthetic.

reintroducing bowie harmon; intro & info page ( tw drug use & abuse )

part of a duo in a web series as the anxious n’ cackling mess. showcases her depressión & anxieté by her colorful wigs n’ new hair dyes. painful receptionist at a tattoo parlor. recovering addict who advocates for drug use. thinks tattooing a ruler on someone’s dick one day would be the peak of her accomplishments as a tattoo artist. daily bad decisions. “ it’s complicated. ” when asked about literally any relationship she has with anyone in her life. traumas include her failed singing career. an ex viner-by-association.

reintroducing shaheen bin baz; intro & info page ( tw violence & mental illness )

the physical deception of going through hell in a short amount of time with zero mental durability to begin with during midterms. trigger-anxious. will shoot your toes off your foot if caught off guard. aided in criminal operations with the brilliance of his mind in codes. would not mind dying. seasons your food. waters his crops in his balcony garden. the grey area between a super laidback dude and a crackhead with violent tendencies. nearing a mental breakdown probably.

reintroducing minka abbott-santos; intro & info page ( tw abuse )

defeats the evil stepmom stereotype one breath at a time. the human embodiment of a deer. gothic angel. alarmingly gets black swan. type to wake up to her staring at you from an armchair across the room, but lovingly, with a book she was reading in hand and two hot cups of tea; she was waiting to start the day with you. spooky until you get to know her and even more spookier when she’s ( note: calmly ) pissed but that’s extremely rare. gentle voice, soul and everything.

reintroducing reuben faulkner; intro & info page ( tw abuse & violence )

rekt hell prince. lived in an amish community with his family until he got kidnapped away from home when he was seven into an awful living situation. doesn’t remember if the gas leak that happened five years later and killed everyone was his doing or not. knows where his real family is after months of tracking them down but. blood kink under investigation. shady bouncer at a shady club. has issues he has no care or time to diminish. fights for the shits and giggles. leaves texts at read. leaves you alone for your own good and his own sanity.

reintroducing alexandra turunen; info page

wants to do everything and be everything and doesn’t know what to do with herself ( read: post-graduation identity crisis ) currently investing in a motorcycle for no reason. essentially jobless. a “retired” kathryn merteuil who “outgrew” her cunning ways since highschool but really only found new socially destructive interests. appears to be self-possessed but she’s #shaken. doesn’t care about how well she presents herself anymore after getting rejected by four universities and refusing to accept her father’s offer to pull some strings to get her in one. sleeps a lot.

reintroducing giuseppe del vecchio; info page ( tw death & drug use )

goes by pepe because well. son of italian oil peeps & is extra. said to be in a cult when all he’s in is this extra ass dining club that does the most for initiation ceremonies. ready to fall in love with you. goes to the king’s college in london and studies business & changes his minor way too often for everyone’s liking. into everything and will be down to do whatever. faux deep. mischievous shit. incredibly unbiased. had his rawrk n’ roll phase that died along with someone in a club literally. still has it but he knows god now & less drugs.

reintroducing kelian scott; info page ( tw death & drug use )

a father/father figure who tries™. runs a mechanic shop/chop shop because bad decisions and dire needs ( had his son to send to school and his daughter who passed away due to a disease he couldn’t afford to treat even after turning his shop into a chop shop. his wife then left him ). stares into the distance. wants the best for the kids but one of them is a junkie ( he doesn’t know yet ) and the other -- his niece -- is an orphan he’s worried about. thinks ahead 24/7. needs to pull out of this dull n’ depressing daily routine he has fallen into like the basic ass divorced dad he is.

reintroducing sal presley; info page

smexy trace & fingerprint detective. talks. the perfect illusion to bring home to your parents and friends. gets shit done which is both a good thing and a bad thing. looks calm, collected n’ well-rested but isn’t. his actual name is salvatore but no. knows how to mix drinks and more; used to showcase his multi-talented ass to make his ( currently ex ) fiancée look good now just himself. was engaged three times; two of those times with the same person. obsessive; gets into his job a little too intensely for no reason but #justice and maybe something else whom knows. loses sleep at least two nights a week as a habit at this point. has an extended family back home he misses occasionally. wishes he could calm down truly.

#smoke:intros #FINALLY RISING HOLY SH-#ill do some plotting n hopefully get on replies soonish hell yea lets GO!

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lavenderek · 7 years

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Who was your favorite and least favorite queens of all the seasons? I'm curious :)

ok turns out i had more to say than i thought i did i don’t have a lot of friends to talk about drag race with feel free to ignore

so i have never been able to figure out how to get my grubby hands on season 1, lmk if y'all have a way that isn’t those illegal streaming sites because their links are always broken as shit, but i saw tammie brown on all stars and she’s the most bizarre thing i’ve ever encountered so i’ll go with her for my s1 fav, and my least fav is uhhhhhhh pfuuhhhh hhsghjaak rupaul

s2 my least fav was morgan she just never impressed me and i found her sort of irritating. my fav is a tie between mystique and juju. and listen. listen. juju got fucking SHAFTED. every week she came out beautiful and poised and hilarious and charming, and the judges were all, “eh :/ it’s a little costumey.” and meanwhile raven comes out looking like glam golem like she’s never even heard of a teasing comb or padding and the judges like piss themselves about it like she’s skilled im just perplexed about the judges’ repeated dismissal of jujubee and heart eyes for raven like i didn’t get it then and i don’t get it now. and tati? tati was the only one who stood up for mystique. the only one.

s3 my fav is raja 1000% i am obsessed with her runway walk. i remember when that season was airing i told one of my friends that i had a crush on her and somehow neither of us concluded that i wasn’t straight like where are we even. also love carmen like she knows herself inside and out and i respect the shit outta that. least favs were mimi and shangela like have you tried closing your mouths for four seconds ever. god.

s4, i don’t really like that season? phiphi is trash and madame lequeer was obnoxious. willam was skilled as fuck and was funny a lot, but a lot of the time she said shit that was just confusing and strange. it came across as super scripted. she still comes across as offputting to me. but i saw latrice perform once irl. she was a sweaty angel.

s5 i really liked jinkx and alaska. alyssa is a fucking crackup i love her. i love her. serena is trash. roxxxie is really skilled and polished but she came across as unnecessarily and alienatingly mean. to her credit, she knows that and she orchestrated a successful and endearing redemption arc. coco is boring except for the “i’m not jokin’ bitch!!” scene.

s6 adore was really endearing and i frankly didn’t find her as endearing in all stars lol. least fav was laganja like aside from her irritating overuse of the kiki voice i’m super over anybody who bases their entire persona around weed lmao. also? darienne lake. listen. your looks were consistently basic. i have no idea why they advanced her so far into the competition. like i told lamb this a long time ago, at least mystique didn’t have a dressform and was being bullied by her fellow contestants, what’s your excuse? bianca was fun. trinity k bonet grew so much and i was emo about it. studies show that courtney can literally go away.

s7 is my favorite season in spite of how fuckin white it was lmao. trixie mattel is my real dad. katya is the president. pearl is great violet is great ginger is great but super bitter like SUUUPER bitter. my god girl you’re a grown-ass man. kennedy, i was like what the fuck is your problem lmfao like are you not drinking enough water or something like chill. i liked her in untucked though in the ugly dress challenge she was literally just like lying around lmao. jasmine masters was cool but i hate when half of a group of people get together just to be nasty to the other half it was super mean and unnecessary. in s2 that heathers shit was so benign and the fact that all the moron pageant queens were offended indicates how tone deaf they are. when jasmine went i was like bye. nina’s impression of her in s9 was everything.

s8 was an AMAZINg season. the friendships that formed in that season were genuine and unashamed and oh man - bob? i love bob and i’ll tell you why. bob is hysterical and when she couldn’t bring the look, she sold it hard. but what i love most about her? is that she laughs really hard and genuinely at other people’s jokes lmao. she doesn’t pull any of that too-cool-for-school shit. she’s utterly unthreatened by anyone. the brief drama that came up was ALWAYS because of derrick barry, who is boring and annoying. acid betty is the worst and no amount of cynthia being like “:) she visited me in the hospital” will redeem her stank-ass attitude and ugly drag. sorry.

s9 isn’t even done yet but i love trinity and i love peppermint and i LOVED nina and i love sasha? listen. when sasha walked into the workroom day 1 i was like mkay sweetheart we get it you were inspired by alaska yawn. so it took an episode or two but she won me over hard. god she’s so odd and so talented and versatile like i had no patience for charlie, not because old queens can’t compete! just because i will never understand these queens who just go “oh i don’t do x.” like you KNOW what this show entails! why would you even apply! eureka was pointlessly nasty, aja got on my nerves for reasons i can’t really articulate, and alexis michelle was yawnzo. farrah was lmao let’s admit it she was p basic, but something about her just endears her to me maybe it’s that she’s fishy but i LOVE how much she WHINES. valentina’s stumble came as a huge shock to me she was slaying every week. and in the end that was her downfall, she lulled herself into a false sense of security. if she had learned the lyrics to that ariana song she might have been able to save herself.

uhhhh i guess that’s it . sorry i just remembered that post that said “pleakley’s wig was laid” and i’m laughing again

#haters #who is this even #chicken or what #long post

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bottomthedonkey · 7 years

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My Thoughts on the RPDR Season 9 Queens

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS IT’S COMING BACK IT’S LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS OVER HERE I’M SO EXCITED!

Honestly, thank God for All Stars 2. From season 8, to All-Stars 2, and NOW SEASON 9 SO SOON, I feel like I’m getting hit with back-to-back-to-back RPDR seasons, and for an addict like me, I NEED MY FIX AND I NEED IT NOW. The only unfortunate thing is unless RuPaul decides to completely kill me and release All-Stars 3 as soon as this fall, I’m going to go through absolute withdrawal in the off-season, and that’s gonna suck cuz this bitch has SPOILED ME this past year.

But anyway, this year 13 (interesting number…) brand new queens are sashaying their way into the workroom, and I could not be more excited because for the first time in like, 4 seasons…

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHO ANY OF THESE BITCHES ARE.

Let me explain.

Each year, there are at least one or two queens that I at least know of. Season 8 I had heard of Derrick Barry through America’s Got Talent and I knew Robbie Turner thanks to Capitol Hill (an amazing YouTube series that you should all watch). Season 7 there was Miss Fame, who had an episode of Transformations with James St. James. Season 6 was a clusterfuck, with Adore from American Idol, Courtney from Australian Idol, and Laganja who was Tumblr’s Idol (like seriously, before the show premiered no one on this damn site would shut up about her). And Season 5 of course had Alaska.

This season, I’m going in with no preconceived notions about ANY of these queens. I have only their promo looks and Meet the Queens videos to go off of. I haven’t watched any of their Meet the Queens videos yet, so you’ll be getting my first impressions of them in this blog, no other research included. But as for their promo looks, I am already impressed. I don’t know what the theme was for their promo looks, but whatever it is, THANK GOD for it.

Like seriously, last season’s 1950′s (60′s?) hair salon shoot was TRAGIC. I’m sorry, I fucking hated it. Half the queens were in wigs and dresses that they would not be caught dead in, and it all just looked very unflattering. The whole point of these promos is to get us EXCITED for the season, not set the bar so low that literally whatever you do will exceed our expectations.

SO before we begin, these are just thoughts of a super-huge Drag Race fan, not someone who professionally does drag. And that’s what these opinions should be taken as, observations from the peanut gallery.

ANYWAY - LET’S GET TO THE QUEENS, ALPHABETICALLY.

Aja - Hmm… I could be a bit more impressed.

Don’t get me wrong, she looks STUNNING in this promo look. The hair gives me a weird Naomi Smalls vibe, the color scheme is fantastic, her face is beat for the gods, and I typically cannot stand septum piercings (like I’m sorry, but seriously, for me, it’s just a big bright neon sign for your nostrils, which are like the least attractive facial feature) but she makes it WORK FOR HER.

It’s just nothing I haven’t seen before, but there will be plenty of time for her to push the envelope. Let’s watch her video and make some other first impressions…

Okay, after watching the video, I’ll say that look is much more stunning even with minimal movement, and the Naomi Smalls vibe definitely grew a bit. She did kind of come across… oh how can I say this non-offensively… a bit dim? She definitely knows her fashion at least, but I’m worried she’s going to be a young queen who has absolutely no idea about gay pop culture beyond the late 2000s. Hopefully, she proves me wrong. Again, first impressions are what they are.

Alexis Michelle - I’m not a big fan of this look. I hate to go Michelle Visage here, but the fact that it’s all very yellow-green just reminds me of snot. She definitely needed to combine that chartreuse with a secondary color, instead of just hints of emerald and orange that I’m getting. It’s just not working for me. I see potential though, which is always good.

Okay, after watching the video, I’ll say the photo does the look zero justice. I’ll maintain that the neon yellow is still coming across as chartreuse and it’s just not flattering, BUT the details on the shoulders change with the lighting and it’s so much better in motion than captured still in a photo. Her personality seems like a subdued Thorgy Thor, but I like the idea of a sassy, brassy Broadway queen, we haven’t really had one of those since Jinkx, and that wasn’t really her main focal point. Count me interested, Alexis.

Charlie Hides - I’M SO SORRY I HAVE TO START OFF WITH A READ BUT OH MY GOD.

AND NOW SERVING WILDBERRY POP-TART REALNESS, CHARLIE HIDES!!!

Ah, glad I got that out of my system.

BUT SERIOUSLY, THIS IS A GOT DAMN LOOK. I AM OBSESSED. The bright blue hair, the fascinator that masks her eye, the magenta lip, the simple diamond earring, I’M IN LOVE. UGH. BEAUTIFUL. Not to mention, she looks kind of like the drag version of Renee Zellwegger. Anyone else think so?

Kay, let’s watch the video.

And let’s immediately pause the video, number one, BECAUSE SHE HAS A BRITISH ACCENT WHICH MAKES HER INSTANTANEOUSLY MORE CHARMING. And because she didn’t say her age, prompting me to look it up, and…

She’s 52.

I kinda need to repeat that again, she is… fifty… two. Years old. Years of age. Fifty…. fifty-two. I uhm…

WHAT THE FUCK.

THIS BITCH HAS NO GODDAMN BUSINESS LOOKING THIS DAMN GOOD AT FIFTY-FUCKING-TWO. SHE COMES IN HERE LOOKING LIKE A FUTURISTIC RENEE FUCKING ZELLWEGGER AND MEANWHILE I’M TWENTY FUCKING THREE AND I LOOK LIKE EVERYONE’S HOMELESS GAY UNCLE LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE GODDAMN SHIT THIS IS SO UNFAIR I’M IRRATIONALLY UPSET I NEED A DRINK.

Okay, now that I have a beer, let’s continue…

FAVORITE QUEEN SO FAR.

Made me laugh out loud with the ceiling fan comment, she seems so sweet and nice (I already have her pegged for Miss Congeniality), and I have a gut feeling she’s going to go deep into the competition. She just has to make it past that first round, which for some reason is like a curse among “the oldest competitor of season blah blah blah” (see Porkchop and Tempest for details). But if this look is any indication, I doubt she’ll have a problem. She even said she was a crafty queen! And so was BenDeLaCreme! SO THERE! (Then again, Tempest teaches costume design if I remember correctly, so I could be totally wrong but I’m not going to think about that right now, because this bitch is my new favorite and fuck you if you disagree.)

Eureka - Uhm okay. I like this look, but… she’s kind of makes me think what would have happened if Ginger Minj and Penny Tration kai-kai’d and had a love-child… and that love child happened to inherit Penny’s make-up skills… and hair…

Ugh, like I’m sorry, I really like this look, IT’S INTERESTING, but the last time I saw something similar, it was on Penny, and we all know how that went.

Okay, so after her video, I’m definitely more on board. Her make-up is much more flattering when it’s not heavily edited, and NOW I’m getting more Ginger vibes rather than Penny vibes which is a huge relief. I’m excited to see her dance, because she hyped that up quite a bit, and I’m excited to see what she pulls out in terms of fashion, because I feel like she’s going to push the boundaries quite a bit. I’ll agree with her, a big girl is WAY OVERDUE to win this thing. But is it her? I’m not quite convinced, but we’ll see how that first episode goes…

Farrah Moan - UHM OKAY I MEAN WE ALL JOKED ABOUT HOW COURTNEY ACT WAS FISHY BUT I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS AN ACTUAL WOMAN!

I MEAN, AT LEAST, SHE MUST BE, BECAUSE I’M STARING AT HER GODDAMN KID.

SERIOUSLY, TELL ME THESE TWO LOOK NOTHING ALIKE I’LL WAIT.

Anyway, the look’s a little plain. (LIKE SERIOUSLY, IT LOOKS LIKE COURTNEY ACT’S PRETTY IN PINK LOOK REIMAGINED FOR TODDLERS IN TIARAS.) BUT, she is VERY PRETTY, and like… goddamn that facial symmetry is just uncalled for. I need another drink, this is just unfair. I already have a drink. I need another. I DON’T CARE.

Okay, so VIDEO. I have no fucking clue how to feel about this queen. She’s now kind of giving me Violet Chachki meets Derrick Barry vibes, which meh, okay, villain potential but whatever. It’s interesting that she says she has a fetishy side to her fashion, because I really don’t think this look showed that besides it being made from latex, but whatever, her name is Farrah Moan, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of time for that later on in the season.

Jaymes Mansfield - I… do… not… like this look. Like… at all.

Seriously, sweetie, did you get lost on your way to the season 8 promo shoot? Cuz that’s where this look belongs. 1950′s hair salon. It all seems very dated. And plain. And did she paint her eyebrows like that? I’m just a little bit thrown off. Whatever, maybe her video will help out.

Well… it didn’t. I don’t know, something about her just kind of annoys me. I feel like she’s putting on a character, and not in a BenDeLaCreme fully-finished this-has-been-in-development-for-a-long-ass-time kind of way, I mean in a Laganja way where she thinks this is how she should act because there are cameras in front of her. It’s very off-putting. I don’t want to make any assumptions on who should be the first to go home because I’m usually wrong… but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was her… #sorryboutit…

Kimora Blac - Holy shit did Pussycat Dolls Present come back for another season? Oh wait, nope, new drag queen. Holy shit, this is a look. It really gives me a strange Pussycat Dolls kind of vibe though. I don’t know why exactly. I especially love the color scheme, the pink and black and gold, it all really comes together quite nicely.

Video thoughts: Oh no, SHE’S going to be the villain of the season. Lots of cocky remarks, she’s going to get on a lot of queens’ nerves very quickly, I can tell. I have no problems with cocky queens, but like, you better have the shit to back that up. I don’t think she’ll end up arguing with anyone, she seems more like Willam, completely unbothered by anyone who tries to come for her. But again, I’ll repeat, if you’re gonna be cocky, you better back that shit up.

Nina Bo’Nina Brown - I AM COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH THIS LOOK.

Ugh, it’s like Acid Betty meets Phi Phi’s futuristic runway and I am FLOORED AND SHOOK AND FOAMING AT THE MOUTH. THIS IS GORGEOUS. Everything about this from the make up to the hair to he dress to the earrings I JUST CAN’T. SHOOK. FLABBERGASTED. BLESSED.

Video thoughts: Her personality, I feel like, is what would happen if Dax Exclamationpoint and Bob the Drag Queen fused together Crystal Gem-style, like seriously, it’s like the second stage in a Dax evolution. I’m completely obsessed. I’m really hoping she sticks around for a long time, because I think she’s gonna be a lot of fun to watch; interacting with the other queens, giving witty confessionals, I think she’ll be a big hit with the fans.

Peppermint - I feel like I’m overusing the two queens combine to create trope in this write-up, but fuck it, this is my thing, not yours, and she reminds me of Ginger Minj and Chi Chi DeVayne with this look. Specifically Ginger Minj’s look in the finale when she took us to church with that “Pray and Slay” song. Werq. I feel like I’ve already seen this before though, but whatevs, she looks great.

Ooh, I like her. I think she’s going to make it deep. She didn’t EXCITE me per se, but she definitely intrigued me. She comes across to me as very experienced, but also continually evolving with the times. I could see her making the finale for sure. ALSO, I believe she will be the first openly transgender competitor since Monica Beverly Hillz. Yeah, I know there have been queens in later seasons that have come out as trans after their season aired, but we’re talking openly competing on the show as trans women, and if that’s the case, Peppermint would be the second. Count me excited for this one!

Sasha Velour - I’m definitely interested by this look. Love a bald queen, and if that’s her schtick, I’m hoping that she’s a bald queen that can rock a wig. (Love you Ongina, but we only saw one wigged look from you on the show.) The eyebrow detail in the middle is kind of throwing me, like for me, if you’re going to do something weird like a unibrow, fucking go for it and own it, but this just seems at worst, unnecessary and at best, half-assed.

Video thoughts: If I’m being perfectly honest, I felt a bit bored by her personality BUT what she was talking about did intrigue me. I’m thinking she’ll go deep into this competition as well, but I’m worried she won’t stand out from the rest in acting challenges, or some weird “sell your own product” commercial challenge. Hopefully, she proves me wrong.

Shea Coulee - OH MY GOD FUCK ME ALL THE WAY UP WITH THIS AFRICAN GODDESS REALNESS. I haven’t seen an African-inspired look this on point since Bebe Zahara Benet in season fucking ONE. I haven’t seen her video yet, but I’m hoping that this is her aesthetic and she continues to turn out looks like this one because I am FLOORED.

Video thoughts: Got a little bored halfway through, BUT she seems very talented, and it doesn’t come across as cocky or conceited, it comes across as sure of herself, and that’s gonna come in handy when establishing a fanbase. I can see her going deep into the competition, don’t know if she’s finale-worthy, but I didn’t think Naomi was going to the finale either, so we’ll have to wait and see.

Trinity Taylor - Fuck me up with the cobalt realness, I mean YAS. Queens who can pull off strange hair colors and make it look very natural get an A+ in my book. I will say that it seems just a HAIR much. I could have done with a little less jewelry, or maybe the sequined sleeve could have just been plain latex. I don’t know. Otherwise, it’s FANTASTIC.

Hmm… after the video… now that I can see more of the look, it definitely needed to be edited. It’s not just a hair much, it’s a LOT much. Like one or two or five things needed to go. I feel a little concerned for her. I don’t get that same gut feeling that she’ll make it far in the competition as I am with a lot of the other queens this season. But again, first impressions are just that, and time will tell, et cetera et cetera…

Valentina - You know, it’s funny, this one I can’t really compare to another queen. I’m trying to think of someone she could remind me of but I’m drawing a blank. This is very original, from the mint green to the hair, to the unique way her eyebrows are drawn on, the earrings, it’s fabulous! I’m wondering how she’ll come across in the video…

Hmmm… after the video… it’s weird. I love this look, but again, I’m not getting that gut feeling that she’ll make it that far in the competition. Something is just throwing me off here. She’s probably one of the best, if not the best looking Latina queens they’ve cast for the show, but nothing about that video screamed talent in any other area other than fashion. Again, hoping she’ll prove me wrong because she does interest me…

So based on first impressions alone, here’s how I’m ranking these queens:

Charlie Hides

Nina Bo’Nina Brown

Peppermint

Shea Coulee

Eureka

Farrah Moan

Kimora Blac

Alexis Michelle

Sasha Velour

Valentina

Aja

Trinity Taylor

Jaymes Mansfield

This was actually really difficult. The only one I really could not stand was Jaymes, and the rest of the queens, it came down to look + video = ?. And I’m probably going to be dreadfully wrong on these rankings, I’m thinking all of these rankings are all going to be swapped around drastically over the course of the season.

So, I’m hoping to be back with recaps for the season. I know I quit last season after episode 2, but life happens, and depression happens, and therapy happens and blah blah blah whatever.

#rpdr #rpdr9 #rpdr season 9 #rpdr s9 #rupaul's drag race #rupaul's drag race 9 #rupaul's drag race s9 #rupaul's drag race season 9 #rupauls drag race #rupauls drag race 9 #rupauls drag race s9 #rupauls drag race season 9

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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They Don't Love You Like I Love You 4/? (katlaska) - kamylove

“There is absolutely no factual or metaphorical fucking going on.” Not yet, anyway. Or, Katya and Alaska take the slow train.

It helps Alaska to know she’ll be seeing Katya soon, to know she’ll be able to look into Katya’s eyes with no camera in between, to make sure sure Katya’s as okay as she claims in the days after their phone call. Not that she’s ever known Katya to lie about her mental health; Katya’s more open about it than almost anyone. It’s just that Alaska knows what it’s like to lie to herself.

And Katya hasn’t been dumping her entire psyche on the internet as often lately, so there’s less information to go on.

Alaska turns down the offer of a ride from the airport. Instead, she waits 83 minutes for Katya’s plane to arrive, and buys an iced coffee the way Katya likes it, to take to the gate.

She doesn’t get a chance to hand it over. Katya walks right up to Alaska, pulls her close, and buries her face in Alaska’s neck.

Alaska hugs back, careful not to spill the coffee. “Hey,” she says, and Katya sighs like she’s put down a heavy load.

Are you okay is such an empty question. Alaska says, “Missed you,” instead.

Katya squeezes her tighter and just breathes. Alaska rests her cheek on Katya’s head and they stay that way for a long time, just two gay boys in the sea of travelers that, for these few moments, is passing them by.

<><><>

“I really am okay,” Katya says, as they head to baggage claim. “It’s just nice to have someone who won’t judge me.”

“I judge you for all sorts of things,” Alaska says. “Like that fucking raccoon.”

Katya, waving her drink around in a way that often leads to a big mess, fakes an insulted gasp. Alaska laughs and takes the cup away from her, just in case.

“That fucking raccoon is my best friend!” Katya says. “Don’t insult her, she’ll hear!”

“Is she in your backpack? Is she listening right now?”

“No, but we share a deep, devoted, psychic link.”

“That makes it even more-”

“I lied,” Katya says. She stops without warning in the middle of the concourse, annoying the family behind them.

“What?” Alaska says. Usually she can follow Katya just fine, these days.

Katya looks her in the eye. “I’m a shitty liar. I don’t care who judges me. I just wanted it to be you.”

Alaska feels something warm and unexpected bloom in her chest. Honestly, it hadn’t crossed her mind to question why Katya had called. “I’m glad,” she says. “I’m glad you called and I’m glad I could help.”

Katya smiles at her, and they keep walking.

<><><>

They are, thankfully, not performing that night, so it’s almost the reverse of that first night in Aspen: room service, a couple movies, and Katya falling asleep sooner than either of them expects. Alaska watches her sleep longer than she thinks she should.

In the middle of the night Alaska hears a text notification on her phone, and decides to ignore it. But a few minutes later the phone actually rings and she reaches for it blindly, moving nothing but her arm.

It’s Roxxxy, who must have just arrived, and who sounds wide awake. “Where are you? I went to your room. Are you in there and being rude?”

“I’m in Katya’s,” Alaska says without thinking.

“Really?” Roxxxy says. “You and Katya? You might be skinny bitches, but that’s just hot.”

Katya stirs and throws an arm over Alaska, but Alaska, not wanting to wake her, slips out of bed and into the bathroom.

“It’s not like that,” Alaska says. “She needed a friend. I fell asleep.” It isn’t true; she’d never intended to leave. But she’s not ready to open it up to questioning.

“Okay,” Roxxxy drawls. “So, how many times have you fallen asleep in Katya’s room?”

“Oh, my God,” Alaska groans. “Leave me alone.”

Roxxxy’s still laughing when Alaska hangs up.

<><><>

It’s a short series of shows on the East Coast, just a couple weeks, with most of the All Stars 2 girls. They know each other so well by now that they can just relax and have fun and make people laugh.

Katya can’t even explain to herself what a relief it is to have Alaska there. She loves all the girls, and she’s happy to have them around, too. They keep her busy and entertained. They’re family.

But it’s so nice, and so easy, to have somebody who can keep up with her no matter what, somebody who won’t ask her to slow down or repeat. Their brains spark off each other, like fireworks. If left to their own devices, which happens more and more lately, they’ll take off down a rabbit hole and look up to find hours have passed.

All the Ru girls are smart. Many of them are brilliant. But there aren’t many who are as quick as Alaska.

They rewatch Katya’s episode of Hey Qween together, and Alaska laughs and laughs at how shell-shocked Jonny looks. “You broke him!” she says.

Katya preens. “ADD is my superpower.”

“You can leap 20 topics in a single bound,” Alaska says.

Katya preens some more, but she can’t keep it up. She laughs instead, flailing a bit for effect.

“It’s disturbing how easy it is for me to follow you now,” Alaska says.

“Agreed,” Katya says. “I worry about you.”

“When did I start liking you so much?” Alaska asks.

“I have no idea,” Katya says, “because I am a heartless, hateful bitch. And I’ve never even eaten you out, which is usually what makes me so popular.”

<><><>

Katya: dinosaur

Alaska: bat

Alaska: You are sitting three feet away from me.

Katya: spoilsport

Alaska: harmony

Katya: turnip

Alaska: cowboy

Katya: Czechoslovakian

Katya: eclair

Alaska: jerky

<><><>

Alaska colors in pages from Katya’s coloring book, making them as garish as her imagination can come up with. She likes to practice keeping a straight face when she hands them to Katya, who always pretends to be offended.

“I really question your taste level,” Katya says.

Alaska just gives her another.

<><><>

“So, Miss Alaska,” Alyssa asks her while they’re in line at Starbucks. “Tell me the truth. What is going on with you and Katya?”

“I hate her guts,” Alaska says. “Everyone knows that.”

“All right, all right, if that’s the way you want to play it. But there’s something there.” She points at Alaska’s eyes, and then her own, with two fingers. “I can see it.”

“Well, then, you need to explain to me what that is,” Alaska says, “because I don’t see it.”

Alyssa makes an Alyssa face, but it quickly shifts to something more more mischievous as she says, “She likes you, too, you know.”

Alaska groans. “Will you stop?”

“Okay, I’ll drop it,” Alyssa says. “I can take a hint.”

“Since when?” Alaska asks.

“You shady bitch,” Alyssa says cheerfully.

“If you want drama, you’re going to have to stir it up yourself,” Alaska says. “Try Phi Phi.”

“Ooh,” Alyssa says. “Seriously shady bitch.”

<><><>

“Tell me the truth,” Ginger says quietly, as she and Katya touch up their faces in the same mirror during a show. “I already know you’re sharing rooms.”

“Friends with room sharing benefits?” Katya says.

“Is that the only benefit?”

“Is having access to her wig wardrobe a benefit?”

“You tell me,” Ginger says.

“Honey,” Katya says. “Look at this tragic thing I am wearing.” It’s intentionally ugly, to go with the rest of her look, and she twirls to show it off. “What do you think?”

“Tell me you don’t have a fetish for those long, blond locks?” Ginger asks suspiciously.

“Is not fetish,” Katya says in her Russian accent. “Is obsession. Why you cannot keep straight?”

“Ain’t nothing straight about that,” Ginger says.

<><><>

Alaska: pogo stick

Katya: You’re sitting three feet away from me.

Katya: cactus

Katya: fossil

Alaska: artichoke

Alaska: talent

Katya: Alaska

Alaska: That’s cheating.

“What the fuck are they doing now?” Detox asks.

Tatianna says, “I don’t even want to know.”

<><><>

After the tour, half of the girls, including Katya, are off to Europe for a month, and the rest, including Alaska, go their separate ways.

Alaska has a week in LA and too many things to squeeze in: meetings, interviews, a recording session, dry cleaning. But Willam talks her into going out by saying, “Support your local queens,” which Alaska can never resist.

Standing there, cranberry juice in hand, sighing the occasional autograph as Willam flirts with everyone in a twenty-foot radius, Alaska has trouble keeping her mind on the show. The drag is good, and she claps and cheers and tips, but she reluctantly admits to herself that it’s not where she wants to be.

She’s home so rarely now that she feels out of touch. But she doesn’t think that’s the real problem.

“What’s with you?” Willam asks eventually. “You’re a real downer tonight.”

Alaska just shrugs.

“It’s not right, working as much as you do. You need to say fuck it sometimes.”

“Fuck it,” Alaska says.

“Weren’t you seeing a guy?” Willam says. “The one with the glasses? He was hot. I would have done him.”

“That was months ago,” Alaska says. “I don’t know. He was nice, but he couldn’t hold my attention, you know?”

“Been there, done that,” Willam says.

(A long time later, Katya will say, “You’ve held my attention for at least .09 seconds, which is impressive considering my average is .03,” and Alaska will say, “I’m three times more interesting than average!” and Katya will look at her like she’s an idiot and say, “Duh. Everybody knows that.”)

<><><>

Alaska stays just long enough after the show to say nice things to all the performers, and to demand that Willam give her phone back. (“Be in the moment,” Willam had said. Alaska had rolled her eyes.) She’s performed here many times; she knows where all the exits are, so she sneaks out while Willam’s not looking.

When she turns the phone back on, on the way to her car, she finds just two texts from Katya, which is a surprise.

“Bored. Lonely. Bored,” says the first, and “Need constant entertainment,” says the second.

Alaska facetimes her, and finds Katya just waking up, her hair sticking out in all directions.

“You need a constant audience,” Alaska says.

“That too!” Katya says, pointing her finger at the screen like Alaska’s said something earth shattering.

“Trade?” Alaska asks.

Katya makes a face. “Not that kind of audience,” she says. “Or that kind of lonely.”

Alaska knows exactly what she means.

#alaska thunderfuck #katya zamolodchikova #katlaska #fluff #slow burn #they don't love you like i love you #rpdr fanfiction #kamylove #tdlylily

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